#I don't think he and Dream ever fought that much as kids

[somegrumpynerd]

It's interesting to think about how, to me at least, Dust and Killer are like mirror versions of each other.

One who joins a villain enthusiastically, jumps at the chance to leave his past behind and have a purpose again, and the other who has to be dragged in, would rather rot in the consequences of his own actions.

One who needs orders, needs the distraction and the action and the thrill, can't sit alone with his thoughts for too long lest he hear them clearly, and the other who can't bring himself to ignore the ghost over his shoulder, would rather sit in place and listen to his own self loathing parroted back at him than stand up and find a way to drown it out.

One who doesn't associate with his past anymore, that wasn't me and I wasn't him, and cannot stand the thought of going back from where he came, and the other who wants nothing more than to be his old self again but feels so strongly that he doesn't deserve to return to the life he tore down himself.

They both wear their new names like dog collars, but one is a gift given by someone else because he's theirs, he has somewhere he belongs that he's expected to return to, and the other is a choker tying him to a post, warning others of his danger while never allowing him to get out of arm's reach of his past.

And getting them both back-to-back while trying to understand mortals was probably enough to give Nightmare whiplash

#UTDR #UTMV #He kind of expected when picking up Dust that because they were so similar they would get along #And boy did he have a big storm coming #I don't think he and Dream ever fought that much as kids #I feel like they were relatively nice happy brothers for the most part #And having Dust and Killer in the castle together was eye opening #Not that they would have been considered brothers at that point but y'know #Anyway it's day 4 of my week off and I still have absolutely no motivation to draw which sucks #But I am working through cross stitching the lil pixel versions of everybody so that's nice #Also I'm not main tagging this because some people have very strong opinions about the characterisation of these two #and I know I'm doing it wrong just to have fun so

[backwzzds]

ೃ⁀➷ choose me, trafalgar law

it was the hundredth morning that the heart pirates were woken up before their time. the sound of glass being thrown on the ship alerted everyone, but mostly bepo, causing him to be the first one to wake.

"what the hell is all this noise?" the furry pirate grumbled, taking a full stop to your shared room with the captain.

"you're not being fair!" your voice is muffled from the other side of the door. "you never choose me!"

"i always choose you!" the captain's voice is loud as ever. bepo could actually hear some offense cloud his tone as well. "i do all this shit for you!"

tears ran down your face as your hand shook against it. "but you d-dont! i've been with you—longer than anyone else here has. I've had your back through thick and thin. time and time again you choose the crew over me—your wife!"

law’s voice is harsh as the next few words leave his lips. "so you're gonna make me choose?"

"i would never make you choose! these men are your family and i get that—they are just as much mine as they are yours-but you don't understand law that no one has had your back, not like i fucking did. that time where you fought with the entire crew over something you were clearly wrong about? i chose you. every single time whether you're right or wrong—i fucking choose you, as any wife would! you never choose me!"

law scoffed with a shake of his head, trying to dodge everything that just came out your mouth.

"i always fucking choose you. you have no idea how much i choose you. I'd kill anyone over you. you know that."

"that is not enough law, why don't you understand that?!" you scream. "you choose being a pirate over being a husband sometimes and i would never tell you to stop pursuing your dreams. i know you've wanted this since kids," your voice cracks. "but you choose the sea over me every time i beg you not to do something and you still do it. i fight with you over and over and you just think that sex will be enough to get rid of this empty feeling inside."

bepo could hear your sobs from the other side of the door. he could tell whatever you two were fighting about was very important. from what he gathered though, he could see both sides of the story.

law was a pirate captain; it was his dream to rule the sea.

understandable.

but he was also a husband first; committed to you, he's been clearly neglecting you the past few months and it was only natural that you became restless and needy for your man.

also understandable.

there were times that bepo did not agree with his captain and best friend often. he was brave enough to tell law when he was flat out wrong about things, and that wasn’t very often. but now he wasn't sure who was in the right or wrong this time. not when law had his mind set on completing a specific goal.

but, at the end of the day, captain's orders were still captain's orders. the heart pirates were obligated to follow their captain to death if the time asked for it. he could see both sides of the story limitlessly, but ethically, had to side with his captain no matter what. it wasn't his business to intervene either.

you and law continue going back and forth, but over time your comebacks slow down as you're practically choking on your tears. at the sight of your reddened brown face, law walked over to you and wrapped his large tattooed hand around your neck, grabbing your attention.

"look at me," his voice is low and demanding. but you didn't want to look at him right now. you wanted to look at anything but him. your sniffles don't stop him from repeating himself though as his grip on your neck grows a little stronger, tight enough not to hurt you of course, but just enough to where you got a little buzz in your head, just way he knew you liked it. "look at me."

finally, your beautiful eyes slowly moved upward to look at him. they couldn't help but glare (although it still came out as a pout), and law visibly frowned when he saw just how upset you were over this. your sniffles get lower as you fight the urge to wipe away your tears, but he beats you to it, swiping the D of his tatted thumb across your hot face.

"i will divide the seas for you, if need be,” law told you, voice strong and calm. you could tell he was out of breath from how worked up he was getting a minute ago. with a much lower octave, he leans in closer to your face, hazel gold eyes never leaving your own. "i’d fucking rip the flag off my own fleet and burn this sub on land with everyone in it over you," more tears run from your eyes in response to his words. but law continues to wipe them away for you, always catching your tears. “i will bring hell to this fucking place we call earth if that’s what you asked of me. everything i do as this ship's captain is for you. i would fucking give up being a pirate if that's what you wanted me to do. tell me. tell me what it is you want to me to do y/n because sailing these seas aren't worth shit if you hate me and if it's in another lifetime where you aren't my wife. tell me what you want me to do. not as your captain but as your fucking husband. that what you want, right baby? tell me what you want."

and that was when your lip quivered and your words cried out to the seas, "i want you to choose me!"

#lora’s fics! ೄྀ࿐ #trafalgar law x black reader #law x black reader #trafalgar law x chubby reader #law x chubby reader #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #one piece law #law one piece #one piece x black reader #one piece x black!reader #one piece x chubby reader #lora’s shit talk! ੈ✩‧₊˚

[nycbabyjoey]

Playing House

NSFW 18+ Only

Contains ABDL Content

Max had thought it was weird when his adult cousins Sydney and Liza had suggested "playing house."

"Like we used to do every Thanksgiving!" Sydney suggested.

"Come on!" Liza encouraged. "It'll be fun!"

Max thought it was a bit silly, but he had a weak spot for his cousins. He only saw them once a year at Thanksgiving and he looked forward to being around them all year. He did have fond memories of playing house with them as kids. His heart skipped a beat back then when he got to play the "Daddy" and Sydney and Liza fought over who got to be the "Mommy", which is probably where his taboo crush on his two cousins had formed.

It was harmless, Max had convinced himself of his forbidden attraction. It wasn't actually like he was going to hook up with either of them and if he happened to think of one or both of them in bed from time to time... well, no one would be the wiser. No one gets hurt.

Max followed the sisters up to their old childhood bedrooms while the rest of the extended family mingled over hors d'oeuvres downstairs.

He was surprised as they opened the door to see certain supplies laid out on one of their beds - talcum powder, wipes, etc.

"We want to play a bit differently this year," Liza shared. "I want to be the Mommy..."

"... and I'm going to be the Auntie," Sydney finished. "You're going to be the baby!"

"Baby?" Max chuckled. "So, you want me to crawl around saying 'googoo gaga'?"

"More than that," Liza snickered, pushing Max onto the empty bed. Max gasped as Sydney began to unbutton and then unzip his jeans. She took his jeans and boxers and slid them off, leaving him bottomless with his dick exposed. He should've resisted, pulled his pants back up, and ran, but all he could do was lay there in shock. This was like every wet dream he'd ever had!

"You think we don't know about your obsession with us?" Liza revealed, grabbing something from the other bed that rustled in her hands. "We see you every year salivating across the table and it's not over the mashed potatoes!"

Max felt uneasy now. He lifted his head to leave, but Sydney pinned his shoulders back down. Liza approached him with the item she had taken from her other supplies. It was a thick, white diaper. Liza unfolded it before lifting his legs and sliding it underneath.

"See, look, the sick perv is already hard!" Liza declared. It was true. Despite Max's best efforts, his cock had betrayed him, standing up straight in excitement. "Awww, is da liddle baby excited to go back in Pampers?" Sydney teased.

Max thrashed around now, but it was no use. Sydney had him trapped easily as Liza grabbed the baby powder and sprinkled it on his erect penis like she was pre-seasoning the Thanksgiving turkey!

"No tantrums," Liza instructed, trading out the powder for something else. "We'll tape you up soon. First, we need to clean you off."

Max's eyes widened as Liza revealed the baby wipe in her right hand, which cruised straight for his junk, which she began wiping down. Max's legs kicked instinctively, held in place only by Liza's arms laying on top of them as she scrubbed his cock with a tight grip. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he started vibrating. He knew he was going to blow his load, either onto his cousin or into his diaper.

"Sydney! Liza!" Max's Aunt Sharon called from downstairs. "Thanksgiving dinner's ready!"

"Can you come here first?" Sydney yelled back. "Max has something he wants to show you! Bring dad too! In fact, bring as much of the family as you want!"

"No!" Max shouted, trying his best to fight his cousins off from the top of him. The whole family was about to know he was some kind of sick freak, probably some kind of diaper weirdo too, and all the evidence would be plain to see in his own messy diaper. Although, if he had issues conflating sex and family gatherings, he wouldn't have found himself in this position.

The last thing Max heard before messing in his diaper was the familiar creak of Liza and Sydney's bedroom door.

Turkey lurkey dee and turkey lurkey doo, Patreon for me and Patreon for you!

#ab/dl #diaper caption #ab/dl caption #diaper humiliation #diaperboy #ab/dl boy

[ascesabo]

sometimes i want to reach through the screen and shake sabo by the shoulders because. god. there's just so much going on with him.

he's first introduced through the veil of luffy's memories- here he's just another feral jungle kid, sticking it out with ace and luffy, the 'nicer' brother in young luffy's eyes. and then boom. you find out he's a runaway noble trying to escape his abusive, neglectful family- and this changes nothing, they still get to become sworn brothers, but just as quickly as this is resolved, his asshole of a dad takes the three of them hostage. and what does sabo do? he gives up the little sliver of freedom he'd fought for, is willing to become miserable and lonely again if it means ace and luffy are spared. and then he comes home to find that in his absence, his parents have already found a replacement! great!

and he doesn't even get to address how fucked up that is, because stelly runs his mouth and now sabo's too busy trying to figure out how to stop his brothers and their home from getting burnt to the ground. he never gets to give them a proper goodbye- he exhausts himself trying to reach them, but he can't because. you know. he's ten. so where does this leave sabo? ten years old, with nowhere to go- he sets out to sea to try and start over, and for the crime of wanting to escape a terrible life, he's punished with an explosion to the face. he loses his memories, his brothers lose him- and so the cycle continues.

then the army saves him, takes him in; he's essentially a child soldier, with how prodigious of a fighter he is from the get-go. but hey, he thinks he's finally found his footing, even if his past's a blur to him- then it all comes flooding back. in the worst way possible. he sees his brother's corpse and he remembers, but it doesn't matter, does it? he's too late, ace is gone, and sabo's lost ten years of a life he could have shared with his brothers. we don't even know how (if, even) he recovers from this- except for a single passing statement from koala, asking him if he's 'had that dream again' because he'd been crying in his sleep. this is never brought up or addressed again. great!plus, we never do find out if getting blown up at the ripe old age of ten could have left any lasting fire-related trauma; and if it does, what does that mean for sabo, who's pretty much made of it, now?

both of these questions are answered at once- sabo treats the fire as if it's ace. it's ace's legacy he's carrying on, and it's ace he seeks freedom for. he copes by making sure ace lives on in his flames, and how can he ever hate the fire living in him if that fire is all he has left of the brother he never got to see again?

i just have to wonder about him, because he's got so many Issues that just. don't ever get addressed? every time we see him deal with his grief (episode of sabo, his own retelling of events in dressrosa) we never really discover anything about him. i wonder how it felt to finally remember the childhood that eluded him, just to find out he was an unwanted, replacable child. how he feels, living with the knowledge that he could have done something to save ace, that he'd failed to remember the two people he loved the most? i wonder just how terribly that guilt must weigh down on him- because where luffy's already begun to heal, sabo still sees ace in everything he does. his title of flame emperor is a direct callback to ace's final attack in his fight against blackbeard. he talks to his goddamn fire like his brother is still in front of him, which is sweet and heartbreaking and, considering his backlog of unaddressed trauma... incredibly unhealthy. i know these will probably be left unresolved for the sake of moving the story forward- but god, sabo, are you okay?

#one piece #sabo #asl brothers #portgas d ace #revolutionary sabo #i cannot stop thinking about him #his grief is so. silent #blink and you'll miss it #i wonder if he'll ever be able to reconcile the person he is with the person he never got to be #or if he's just. going to brush it off because Everything Is Fine Obviously #i know he's explicitly stated that he won't live in grief because ace wouldn't want him to #but coming to that conclusion when he's probably had no time to heal #just looks a lot like him holding his fraying edges together with duct tape #my poor sabo #my princess .... #anywayyyy this is just me rambling pls dont mind

[teyamsatan]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀𝕀𝕀: 𝕊𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝔽𝕠𝕣 ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕄𝕪 ℂ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕕

pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!reader

synopsis: In the wake of your separation, your mind is made as to the future of your rocky relationship with your once best friend, now best enemy, Neteyam.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death, confrontation, admission of feelings), strong language.

wc: 6.7k words

a/n: besties, it brings me sorrow to say that monster in me has come to an end, and i can only hope you enjoy and have enjoyed this story, that turned from a silly little fic about two people who hate/crave each other into so much more than i ever envisioned. i really struggled writing this chapter, and i hope i don't disappoint with the ending, and i hope you like it. what i can say, is that this is not the end for Neteyam and Vi, as I have at least one more oneshot in mind to showcase their ... progress (hehe). having smut in this chapter didn't feel right to me, but it doesn't mean it's not coming ;) pun intended.

as always, thank you so much for reading and engaging with my stories and with me, it means more than I could ever express into words. I love you besties, and i hope you stick around for a long time, because i will x

na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, oare - moon, nawm - great, tsakarem - tsa'hik in training, atokirina - seed of the tree of souls, sa'nok - mother, senpu - affectionate term for dad

lightly proof read, if you see something wrong, no you don't

: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)

Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here

“Are you sure, ma ‘ite? You know we wouldn’t force you into anything, but… please think it through. Eywa’s vision was clear, and it showed you two together. Eywa is never wrong, you know this.”

You thought about it, barely able to look into Mo’at's beautiful, sagacious eyes that always felt like they could see through you, through deception and conceit, and get to the soul of problem, the inner core of your amalgamation of conflicting, earth-shattering emotions, covered by a crust of barely-there composure, ready to erupt with any slight friction of the tectonic plates of your heart. You thought about last night, about his words, that still rang in your ears in a muffled cacophony of sounds you were trying your hardest to drown out, that you were scared would end up drowning you, instead. 

“I loved you, Vi.I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 

“Even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

You thought about his actions, about what drove them, about how, at the end of the day, they were the same driving forces that you acted on. Hurt. Betrayal. Jealousy. Fear. You thought about your actions. How poison crept beneath your skin and pooled in your heart and pumped it through your whole bloodstream, until it was all there was, until it blinded you, and how he started this, but you continued it. 

How his fault was indifference, and yours was madness that only he had the power to force out of you. You thought about his parents, and how his dad was now your dad, and how hard you fought for hearing the magic words: “we couldn’t have done it without you, kid”. Those words, and the “you’re welcome” that followed, became as necessary to you as the air you breathe. It may have started, this need to gain Jake’s approval, as a way to get a rise out of Neteyam, your best attempt at getting him to lash out at you, scream and yell, anything but the horrible silence he ordained you with, but in time, it had less to do with the boy and more to do with you, with how his dad reminded you of your own, how the words of praise and admiration made the ones you were used to, that you’d never hear again, echo through the your tent and through the forest, hidden in between the whistles and sonorous trills of birds, but never forgotten, not to you. 

You thought about his specious assumptions, and your words, and how, despite what you spat at him last night, they weren’t the whole truth. You did tell Jake that you didn’t want to mate with him, but not out of a lack of love or desire. No, the thought of one day being one with the boy who shone light through the broken cracks of your soul every day after your parents died, the boy who himself shone brighter than any star or sun or galaxy out there in the vast unknown, the boy who challenged you, and annoyed you, and loved you, and got you… it made you happy. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach and tingle, it made a fuzzy feeling gather in your brain and haze your mind until it was full of nothing but misty reveries, of a life beyond your wildest dreams and fantasies, of night flights and battles won together, of family found and family kept. 

You told Jake what you did because your dreams couldn’t happen while you were pushed to the side and made to undertake the duties of a Tsakarem, they couldn’t happen if you had to forsake your talents and an integral part of yourself. You thought that, by saying no, you could make your dad proud, you could make Jake proud… make him proud. You thought that by becoming the warrior you knew you could one day be, you could help him… take away some of the burden that you knew he was shouldering all by himself, that of the eldest son, the responsible child, the prodigy of the clan. More than anything, you wanted to be worthy of him and of his love. That’s why you said no. 

If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to?

But now, it was all wrong. Your love, your hate, your history and your future, everything you’ve done, everything you should have done. It was all wrong. O’i’en was right, you realised. You held onto this broken relationship, this hopeless promise of a mateship, not because you wanted revenge, but because you wanted him… in any way you could get him. Your undefeated stubbornness, and the war that left too many collateral victims for you to ever be able to sleep at night again, led to scars in your soul no one could ever fix, that you’d have to mend yourself in time, that you never could while in an arrangement you should have declined to begin with. It was finally time… 

“I’m sure, ma Tsa’hik.”

…time to say goodbye to the child you knew - the one you were, the one he was, and the love that took too much of both of you, the one that turned to ashes in your mouth. 

And if this is the long haul How'd we get here so soon?

Neteyam’s confusion was normal for the dazed, quiet astir he found himself in after just waking up. What wasn’t normal, however, is how the confusion didn’t evaporate once the blurry haze disappeared, but only deepened with the sight, or lack thereof, awaiting him in the green, luscious clearing he felt like he was reclaiming, like it could slowly be his… both of yours again. He didn’t feel this way now, in this place that all of a sudden felt barren and cold, like an endless tundra, like his soul felt. You were gone. 

In a way, it was to be expected. In some way, Neteyam knew last night was a just a fluke, a heady combination of overflowing of intense emotions that were too intense to be contained, that had to be released in the only way you both knew how, in the only way that would push the hurt aside and leave only a mess of denial and pleasure in its wake, because an orgasm is always easier to deal with than the pain that came with the cathartic act of confession, of owning up to your mistakes, of talking through years of hurt pent up in your already broken soul. You both did what you did best, so Neteyam shouldn’t be surprised. And yet he was. 

He wasn’t only surprised, he realises. No, he would be happy if that was all he was. Neteyam was angry. Angry and seething, as he was, he picked himself up from the floor, the smell of you still imbedded in his nostrils, your cum still on him as he took in his naked form, before tightening his loincloth over his hips, a task easier said than done with the furious slashing of his tail whose movements he couldn’t control, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t know why such intense, overpowering anger was washing over him in tidal waves that were crushing his spirit under their monstrous weight, removing any reason from his mind, any sane reasoning or critical thinking. Why would he expect you to stay? You didn’t owe him anything, and this changed nothing. Nothing’s different. Neither of you admitted to anything, neither were able to admit to the fault either of you had in the unraveling of your relationship, in the actions that lead to death and hurt, to pain and loss. So why did it matter?

"The first step in solving any problem is recognising there is one, brother. The sooner you admit your feelings, the sooner you can work towards fixing your broken relationship."

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

With a sigh, Neteyam made his way back to the village, hoping that once he saw you, all the answers would come rushing back to him, would make it perfectly clear as to the path he was supposed to take, the words that he was supposed to utter, which puerile confessions were better said and which better left gathering dust in the back of the rooms of his heart. When he saw you, he'd finally know...

The day was in full swing in the clan, as people were making the final preparations for the funeral processions that would take place once eclipse settled in. Neteyam winced at the mourning families, at the bodies laid on the floor, covered in leaves and flowers, in the way they'd remain, until their flesh would return to Eywa, return to the nature from which they were born, allowing for growth that would keep the community going. One life ends, another begins. That saying was as much part of him as any organ, any physical aspect of him was. That saying was the dogma of the Omaticaya, of the Na'vi as a whole. He knew it by heart, its meaning coursed through his veins, and yet, it didn't lessen the blow. It didn't stop the hurt and the pain of having to watch it, having to know to some extent, he was at fault for it.

He expected to see you by now, lending a hand, despite the fact you should be taking it easy - you were never one for rule following, and although you got better in time, especially after your blooming relationship with O’i’en, who, despite it killing Neteyam to admit, was a positive influence in your life, some things about you would never change. The need to help, to be of use, to prove your worth, the need to feel like you’re making an effort, the need to hide your pain deep inside yourself, no matter how hard life was grinding you down, it was intrinsic to you in a way you would never be able to shake. And so Neteyam was sure he'd see you here. But he didn't. Instead, he saw his mother, spotting him from across the patch of forest they called home, eyeing him intently, with a blend of emotions Neteyam couldn't quite place. There was a heaviness to her, which he couldn't say he felt surprised about, but the twinge of fear and pity in her eyes, clearly directed at her eldest son, was something he didn't expect to see, and it scared him. Without any thought, he tracked towards his family's tent, unable to break his gaze from her, whose own fell to the floor, before turning away and entering the home, the flaps swinging closed behind her, the sudden chasm between them putting a knot in Neteyam's throat. Something was wrong. What else could be wrong?

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"

"Sa'nok, nawm sa'nok, Oel Ngati Kameie."

His grandmother's permanent serious expression was somehow even more pronounced now, and Neteyam noticed the signs of weariness and exhaustion clear on her beautiful face. Still, with her most arduous attempt at a smile, she brought her curled fingers to her forehead and extended them in her grandson's direction, before giving her daughter a pointed look.

"What's going on?"

"Ma 'itan..."

The knot in his throat descended until it hit his stomach with a heavy splash, the feeling of dread nearly knocking him over.

"Mother, just tell me. Just please... tell me."

"She... she broke the engagement, Neteyam. What happened between you?"

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go Sorry for not making you my centrefold

The river that the Omaticaya used as a source of water, and nourishment, and entertainment, and hygiene, the one that was normally bustling with life and energy, was barren and deserted as you settled on its bank, leg mindlessly swinging back and forth in the cold, clear water. You focused on the way it felt, the flawless flow, as it touched your skin and how every once in a while, fish would nibble at your feet, and you were almost relieved that at least some creatures still looked at you like you were still alive. You didn’t feel like it, not anymore.

You didn’t feel like a Na’vi, like a person, more like a mix of pure grief and guilt that managed to swallow you whole, leaving just a cloud of misery in its wake. You knew you shouldn’t be here. There were better, more important things for you to do. Help was needed in the village, you needed to prepare for the ceremony, you needed to claim your ikran, wash her, cover her in the leafy shroud she would spend the rest of time in. You had to say goodbye. You owed her a proper funeral. You owed her a goodbye. And yet, your body was paralysed on the edge of this river, staring into nothingness, trying to find a way to make your mind, which was simultaneously empty and full of thoughts, each one more horrifying then the next, work and move your muscles, do the thing it always does where adrenaline takes over and makes you focus, makes you try, makes you brave. There was nothing now, not anymore.

Your ears twitched as the shrubbery rustled with movement behind you, and your scrunched nose relaxed as it picked up Jake's scent. Your coiled, immobile tail found its place nestled next to your thighs, and when you turned your head, you noticed your surrogate father, the mighty Olo'eyktan, dressed in ceremonial garbs, the red, feathery vest contrasting nicely against his dark, azure skin. You couldn’t look in his inquisitive, shocked eyes, that knew you to your core, the eyes that always looked at you with love and care, with pride and encouragement, that now you assumed would be filled with sorrow and disappointment, so you settled on looking at his headpiece, the imposing, oval stone a much more manageable sight right now.

"Kid..."

His feet picked up pace, the same way your heart did in your chest, and you let out a shocked, pained gasp as he kneeled by your side and took your body into his, his hand finding the back of your head and you melted in his embrace, listening to his erratic heartbeat that mirrored yours, that you focused on like a hymn, that pulled you out of stupor, and you watched as your tears stained his chest, before your hands found his back, tightening your grip on him.

"Sempu..."

"Shh, kid. It's ok. You're ok... we're gonna be ok."

Over and over, lost again with no surprises Disappointments close your eyes And it gets colder and colder When the sun goes down

Neteyam was trying to calm himself as he was pacing the floor of his grandmother's tent, so much so the rugs were now matted and torn. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe you. After everything, everything that has happened, everything you've both done... after losing O'i'en and Oare, after destroying his relationship and all his plans for the future, after promising him you would never undo this arrangement, after threatening him you'd both get to burn together... after everything... how could you do this?

The anger was all-consuming as it was lighting his every nerve on fire, as it was playing back, in his mind, over and over, your relationship, your rise and fall, the fall that never seemed to end, no matter how hard he wished for it to end, no matter how hard he didn't. He thought about how broken you both were now that the the fall did come to its unsightly end, and how it left you both in pieces, in sharp shards that found each other's flesh to dig into and lacerate, unable to stop yourself from falling apart around each other even at the bitter final act. He thought about how he should be relieved. It was all he wanted, right? You out of his life. He could go back to the girl, the girl he didn't love, no matter how hard he tried, to the life he was once envisioning for himself. If you truly gave up on him, on your quest for revenge, he should be happy. All he's wanted for the past seven years was you out of his life, right? If all you had and all you were was over... if the nightmare was over, that meant a new dawn would be breaking soon. He should want it... right?

And maybe he would want it, maybe he would be happy about it, if only there wasn't this intense hatred blinding him to the truth of the matter, to the potential this new revelation opened up in his life. Because fuck, things changed. Things changed when Oare died, when his sister talked to him, things changed when you woke up, when he found you in the clearing... things changed when you slept together. He told you things, things he didn't even know he felt, but he did feel, as you came around him, as he saw your face writhing in pleasure when you left scratches down his back. He saw your eyes as they locked with his, and in your eyes, for just a moment, there were confessions that maybe you didn't speak out loud, but maybe you didn't have to.

And then... you just... left. You left him, abandoned him without a word, or an explanation, without as much as a disdained "good riddance, asshole". How could you have done this, after everything that's happened? After everything, Neteyam felt like he deserved at least that... or anything, but not this. Not the silence, not to be told about it by his mother. He deserved more than this.

His legs stilled in place and his stomach dropped as your words, the words you shouted at him yesterday kept rushing back to him like the river after a storm, unrelenting and powerful, ready to knock out everything in their wake.

“You keeping your mouth shut and going about your life as if your life wasn’t impermeably connected to mine was what fucking hurt me, Neteyam!"

"You saying nothing, doing nothing, acting like I didn’t exist, like I was just a toy you outgrew, that was worse than anything I could have ever fucking done to you, don’t you understand that?"

"Do you understand that you abandoned me? I was everything to you, and you just acted like that meant nothing at all."

Fuck.

Do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Jake." you tried to contain the cries, you did, but as he held you tightly to his chest, caressing your almost-dry braids and cooing patiently in your ear, it was harder than you could manage in the moment. The sobs were loud and coming out in broken hiccups, but you couldn't find it in you to care anymore, and he didn't seem to mind.

"I did this, we did this... Neteyam and I, this stupid war, all the fights, and the battles, and the never-ending need to make the other pay... and all for nothing! All for something he heard, something I said, that I-... If he just asked, I could have told him, I could have explained, I -... fuck!"

"Shh... hey, look at me, kid." His fingers found your chin, that he raised, despite your silent protests, and you were taken aback by his own tears falling down his face, by the unending depth of emotion behind his beautiful, yellow irises, that reminded you a little too much of his eldest son.

"This wasn't your fault, baby girl. It was mine."

"I love you, you know? So much. I look at you, and I see Neytiri, and I see myself. I see your parents, I see this clan, that I chose to be a part of, that I'm grateful for every day of my life. This clan, this family I have, that includes you, this planet... it saved me from myself, from a broken path. And the thought of losing you, losing any of it... it haunted my every dream, it turned into a recurring nightmare that kept me up at night. So I did the only thing I knew how - I tried to mould you into the soldiers I knew you needed to be in order to survive the humans and their poisoned reach, their need to hurt and kill."

You were in awe of his monologue, that you didn't want to - you couldn't - interrupt. You needed to hear this, and he needed to speak it, and so you waited, and listened, and he spoke and cried.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. A father protects. But I failed to recognise how that would affect you, how much the pressure I put on your shoulders, on Neteyam's shoulders, would come to hurt you, to push you to this point. My words and my actions were what drove you both to the dark place you find yourselves in right now, and I'm sorry."

You tightened your grip on him yet again, and let his words sink in you, pass through you. You let them succumb you, like the water in the lake as it took over your body, until you were submerged in it, until you were a different person as you emerged back into the world.

"I'm still learning, kid. We all are... We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes hurt and they cut and they fester, sometimes they are big enough to take over your whole world and eclipse any light shining through. But... people deserve a second chance. People deserve to be able to make amends, to fight to show you they can do better. And I hope I'm one of those people. And I hope Neteyam is, too. I think you two were meant for each other - I saw it every day of your lives, from when you were best friends to best enemies, you completed each other, complemented each other. You made each other better... and worse. But maybe that shows that one of you can't exist without the other. That maybe the connection you have is more than anything life can throw at you, or that you can throw at each other. Maybe it's time for both of you to get a second chance."

Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Neteyam felt dizzy and nauseous, a sudden need to anchor himself onto the ground more necessary than he could ever remember feeling. Seven years worth of mistakes came rushing over him, ready to swallow him whole. Is this how you felt? This whole time... this is how you felt? So insignificant and small, so used... abandoned, angry and heartbroken... just how he felt. He made you feel this way, he made 12 year old Vi, the person he loved most in the world, feel this way. You left him, just as he left you, and now Neteyam finally could see, finally understood, that you were right. It was worse. The not knowing, the self-doubt and guilt, the feeling like you were nothing more than a toy, ready to be outgrown, knowing you were disposable to someone you thought loved you... it was worse.

He knew he had to find you, he had to, he had to talk to you, he had to tell you all the words his heart was begging him to shout of the top of his lungs, begging him to stop holding inside of it, for it was done keeping his secrets, for all it wanted was to feel again, to dream again... to love again. But it would have to wait. Just a little bit more, it would have to wait, because right now, Oare needed him. Oare would be put to her eternal rest today, and before the ceremony, she still needed to be cleaned and prepared, and while you might not feel capable of facing such a challenge right now, he could do this for you. This he could do, and would, because he needed to, and he knew, deep down, you did, too.

It took a long time, but near eclipse, the ikran was ready, and Neteyam felt a pang of hurt taking in her beauty, so ethereal and extraordinary, so much like the person who came to call her a sister. The person whose voice stopped Neteyam dead in his tracks and sent shivers down his spine.

“Neteyam…?” 

When he turned, and saw you, eyes puffy and red, filled with tears that weren’t the first you were shedding, based on the deep stains on your beautiful face, your chest heaving in panted, uneven breaths, released in soft, sorrowful sobs, he couldn’t help in himself, and with a few steps, he closed the distance between you and enveloped you in a tight, rib-cracking hug, one that, to his unending relief, you reciprocated immediately. 

“She’s dead, Neteyam… she’s really dead. I wasn’t there for her and now she’s dead.” You were sobbing in his chest, and he tried not to let the moment overwhelm him, this moment that felt more like dreams he’s had than the reality he had to live through, ones in which you came to him, and let your guard down, one in which he got to comfort you instead of bring you pain, ones in which you were his and he was yours, one in which things were good, and pure, like you were. 

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line, by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day?

“I’m surprised you’re still alive after today’s training. Dad’s not going easy on you, is he?” Neteyam looked at the little girl, laying on the ground, chest heaving, with eyes of steely determination he doesn’t think are like anything he’s ever see before, and how the tears that pooled in your eyes refused to drop, no matter how oversaturated they got. The tears just didn’t drop. He watched intently, determined to see the first one fall, determined to prove to himself that a girl who’s never trained before, a girl who just lost her parents, a girl who was not from a family of warriors, like his was, wouldn’t be able to withstand the pressure that his father never failed to put on him, and he now seemed intent on putting on you.

But much to his surprise, the tears never did fall. Instead, you got up, canines sunk in so deeply, the blood was pouring out of your lower lip - anything to stop the sob of pain he knew you wanted to let out. When you were on your feet again, you ran your hands over your bloodied knees, where the gashes were still spilling red liquid from when you fell off a cliff and scraped them, before shaking them dry. Neteyam watched in awe as the blood dripped from your fingers and into the ground, and all of a sudden, he was left behind, your footsteps echoing through the forest as you made your way back to the practice arena.

“Guess he knows I can take it.” 

Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake? Happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray? A universe away

"Have you ever considered, Neteyam, that I'm not your enemy? I see you, waiting for me to fail, praying that your dad... and my dad, were wrong about me. Have you ever considered I could help? That if I do this, you don't have to be alone anymore?"

Neteyam's eyes went as wide as his mouth as you turned to face him once more, a soft smile on your face and crinkles around your eyes, that almost hid the soft tears that dropped down your cheeks and mingled with the blood as they reached your lips, and he felt his heart skip a beat, and then two, then three... What was happening to him?

"I'm alone, too. I'm all alone. And I'm scared... of being alone. Of ending up alone. And I think you are, too. So maybe... maybe we can be alone together."

Almost as if controlled by a disembodied presence, Neteyam's body started moving on its own accord until it reached you, until his hand was in your extended one, a peace symbol you both learnt from the once-human Olo'eyktan.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name

“I know… I’m so sorry, Vi.” His hands found your face, that he angled upwards to look into your eyes, holding you tightly, as if letting go meant letting go forever, and he couldn’t, not anymore, not until he told you what he needed to say. Your warm breath brought life into him as he inhaled it, and the courage given by the revelations that loomed over him his entire life, but were only manifested today, it was enough to speak the words nestled in his chest. 

“I’m so sorry… not just about Oare, but about everything. Vi, you were right. I did this, I started this. I should have… I should have trusted you, and confided in you. I should have given you the respect you deserved, the consideration of telling you what hurt me. You deserved the chance to explain your point of view, and I took that from you. What you said hurt me… what my dad said hurt me, but… you were my best friend, and I should have come to you. I should never have let you go, Vi. I’m so sorry.”

The words you've waited for what seemed like your whole life opened the dam of your soul, so carefully put together over so many years, now broken as it flooded your whole being with the full force of the sorrow and relief you've buried so deep, you didn't even know if you'd be able to ever make it surface again. But there it was, and his words brought your own forth, and with Jake's words in mind, with lessons of forgiveness and second chances learnt, you spoke, hoping he'd listen, hoping these words could undo at least some of the hurt you put the other through.

“I’m sorry, too. Teyam, I’m so sorry. After losing my parents, you, this family, were all I had. You were everything to me, and I came to rely on you so much, I couldn’t envision life without you. When you left, it broke something in me. It brought back feelings I was yet to deal with, ghosts that haunted me in the middle of the night, insecurities that continue to plague me to this day, fears of being unlovable, of being too much, of not being enough. I have always been too harsh, too guarded, I have always answered every problem with my fists first and my mind second. I’ve never known how to deal with grief, and so I did it in the only way I knew how - by turning it to anger. By making you the enemy. Every time your absence hurt, I needed my presence to hurt you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being cruel, I’m sorry for taking it too far. I’m so sorry.” 

It was necessary, this moment that was long overdue, and although you were sorrowful of the fact it took losing so much for you to realise it, you were grateful that did come in the end. You were happy that, as you moved your head slightly to rest your ear against his chest, listening to his slowly-calming heartbeat, you felt safe again in his embrace while you finally took in your sister’s body, that he spent more time that you could even conceive getting her ready for the ceremony, when you didn't. You were grateful that you didn’t have to go through it by yourself, but with the one person who’s known Oare just as long as you, who’s loved her just as much as you loved Seze, the person who despite it all, knew you to your core - your biggest dreams, your biggest worries, your biggest fantasies, your biggest fears. And here it was, the biggest fear, manifested in front of you like a sleep-paralysis demon, that you had no choice but to brave through, but at least, right in this moment, you didn’t have to brave it alone. 

"Thank you. For taking care of her while I couldn't."

"You don't have to thank me. So many things might have changed between us, but this... this never will."

The ceremony was as hard on you as you expected, and by the end, you were so spent, both physically and emotionally, you knew you were in dire need of a nap, one that didn't end in the morning, and maybe not for a few good days. You looked over at Neteyam, who kept his distance, allowing you to be caged in between Lo'ak and Kiri's bodies while you mourned, but who helped you lower Oare into the tree nook where she would lay forever, shedding silent tears as he placed an atokirina on her, his hand finding your lower back as you both said your final goodbyes.

One day, you'd find another ikran. One day, you'll be able to fly again, and think of flying as the beautiful, freeing experience you have come to rely on for your sanity and happiness for the last 7 years. One day. But not today. And not for a long time. Oare made your life special, and worth living. Flying meant what it did to you in no small part because of her. Her thoughts, peaceful and serene, a nice balance to your own, kept you steady and focused in battled, mid flight. Not being able to return the favour would be something you'll have to deal with in time, but as you felt your entire family's presence surrounding you, enveloping you in love and care, as you felt Neteyam's lips make contact with the side of your head in a gesture you've known him capable of, just not with you, you knew, one day, you'll be okay again.

'Cause we were like the mall before the internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams

It was hot and humid in the forest as you trained - something about the deforestation brought about by the humans made the weather feel hotter, or so the human scientists told you. Either way, you felt as though you were inhaling water instead of air as you tried to catch your breath, the last drill always the hardest in the routine, always the one that broke most Na’vi who were unfortunate enough to be considered good enough to be trained directly by Toruk Makto himself… but not you. You did it, feeling fire in your lungs and sweat mingling with the blood spilling from various cuts from across your body and exacerbating the sting you felt prickling like needles throughout your whole being. Each muscle felt like it was being split in half, but you couldn’t care less. Not now, not when you were so close to beating Neteyam, not when victory would feel so sweet, not when you would be able to collapse in the dirt and pass out the moment it was over. 

In the few months since the ceremony, life was more about healing for you than it had ever been. It was a nice change of pace, the peace, one you haven’t known since your parents were still alive, and for the first time in your life, you felt… almost whole. There were still things missing of course - your parents, who you kept in thoughts and prayers every day, and your sister, who you swore Eywa reincarnated in your new ikran, whose thoughts reminded you too much of hers for it to be mere coincidence. 

“Vi, you better focus if you want to have any chance at beating me.”

You scoffed, and watched as he flew past you, not before sending a small wink your way, that made you lose your footing for a second, before quickly composing yourself and continuing.

“Don’t get cocky, mighty warrior.”

As far as your relationship with Neteyam went, it took a long while, but in time, you managed to mend what once seemed unmendable and earn each other’s trust once more. It was an uphill battle, most days, but you were grateful to have your best friend back, and to be able to finally meet the Neteyam everyone knew and loved, the one that was kind and considerate, funny and charming, helpful and loving to everyone around him. You were grateful that now, that included you, too. Your mateship was never brought up again, not to the family, that knew you needed this time, and was happy to let you have it. The possibility of it was no longer looming over you like a threat, but more like a golden aura of inevitability that you wouldn’t mind giving into, once the pieces were soldered back together through the mutual effort you were both willing to put into to rebuild both your broken hearts. One day he'd be yours and you'll be his… 

But not today, as he beat you, with just barely a split second to spare.

“Ah, that’s too bad… maybe one day. One day, you’ll beat me at this, and on that day, Vi, I will fall to my knees in eternal servitude.” 

When you kicked him in the shin, with all your might, and watched as he fell on his knees in front of you, you smirked, the grin wild and unwavering as you circled him, lifting his chin with your index finger and willing him to look in your eyes, mischievous and filled with amusement. 

“Hmm, look! You’re already on your knees, Teyam. Now… about the eternal servitude…”

You had no time to react as he grabbed your wrist in his hand and pulled you towards him, until you both fell on the ground, and when he kissed you, you melted, like you normally did in the few times it has happened since that first time, in your clearing. You promised you’d take it slow, but in your defence, you were only Na’vi, and this was, in fact, a lot slower than how you wanted to take it. 

You let his fingers roam your body and rejoiced at the way his lips were warm and skilled as they moved on yours, his tongue tracing your bottom lip before you parted them, allowing yourself the pleasure of this kiss, that meant so much to you, that you will never ever take for granted again. 

“You taste fucking amazing, tsxepvi. Maybe next time, if you apologise and behave, you’ll actually get to cum.” 

You both laughed in the kiss, and with a mental note to yourself to apologise and behave tonight, you knew you were ready to take the next step in this new life, one which neither you or Neteyam would ever have to brave alone ever again. When your lips parted, and he got up from the ground with a soft groan, images of your childhood flashed before your eyes, warm and beautiful, once more, as he stretched out a hand for you. You took it gratefully, allowing him to help you rise, making a silent promise to yourself to commit to more risings than falls, for as long as you could help it.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

The sight that flashed before me was your face Over and over, when the sound goes down

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[yuna542]

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 20<-

Part 21

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader/Chan x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: ANGST, Jealousy, Arguing, Intimidating Chan, Swearing

Word Count: 4k

Note: You wanted Angst, you get Angst… Thought about the time Chan talked about his anger issues and felt so much better because I have the same problem. Currently working on my own anger issues. So I made it into a Part for the Story. Let me know what you think. Requests are open. Comments, Likes and Reblogs are always a blessing <3

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager. Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

The first tour dates couldn't have gone better.

The atmosphere during the show was incredible and the fans loved the comeback and everything you had prepared for them. Traveling from city to city across the world was completely new for you and getting to know all the different cultures and people was so exciting that you often thought you were only dreaming it all.

Even though there was an immense amount of responsibility on your shoulders that completely took your breath away at times, there were always the Kids that brought you back to your feet and showed you how lucky you were to be able to experience this together with them.

But one thing was still ahead of you and you broke out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

The first big concert in Japan was coming up and it was extremely important for JYP Entertainment and Stray Kids that everything worked out there. The gig turned out to be more complicated than expected, but if the show went smoothly, you had some contracts secured for the future.

On the plane to Japan, you were sitting between Hyunjin and Chan and had been working on your Ipad for a couple of hours to make sure everything went smoothly for the next concerts in Japan and Australia.

Chan had his headphones on and was already working on new tracks on his laptop, while Hyunjin's head was leaning against your shoulder and he was scrolling through social media on his phone or writing on Bubble with Stays.

"Pretty, look at this!" he commented, holding up his phone to snap a selfie.

"Let's tell our Stays we'll be in Japan soon."

While Hyunjin looked like the main character straight out of a romantic Kdrama even with the oversize hoodie and baggy jeans, you looked more like you just woke up with your hair pulled up into a messy bun, wearing one of Felix's washed out blue shirts and some old short leggings.

"No don’t! I look horrible," you pouted as he pointed the selfie camera at you and you tried to tidy a few strands of hair on your head.

Additionally, you were without makeup. You didn't have time to get ready in the morning, and with the guys, you could always just be who you were. You knew exactly that they liked you even without makeup, nice clothes and done hair.

You realised that at the latest when they had stared at you with open mouths when you first came shuffling into the living room with sweatpants, a worn hoodie and no makeup.

Jisung and Jeongin had fought over where you should sit, and Chan had almost drooled when he had noticed that you had secretly stolen one of his sweatpants. They were much more comfortable and smelled pleasantly of him.

Felix had almost forced his shirt on you, loving how his clothes clung to your curves. You kept catching yourself smelling Felix's things. It made you breathe a sigh of relief right away, like a warm summer day.

Hyunjin looked at you and grabbed your face with one hand to stare directly into your eyes. As he did so, the tip of his nose touched yours and he looked more serious than ever.

"There's nothing about you that's horrible. You look stunning. Whether in a dress or a dirty shirt."

"Dirty?" you asked a little indistinctly as he squeezed your cheeks.

He pointed to a spot on your collar that was actually discolored a little black.

"Shit," you cursed, trying to get the stain off, but it didn't work. You had probably been playing with the pen too much while you were engrossed in your work.

You heard Hyunjin chuckle softly. He raised his cell phone and just as you looked up, he pressed the shutter button.

"Hey!" you snapped at him as he pulled the phone away before you could grab it.

He looked at the picture and laughed louder.

"You look so cute!" he giggled, turning away so you couldn't see.

"Show me already!" you snapped at him as you missed again to grab his hand.

That's when he finally turned the screen and you could see the two of you in the picture. Hyunjin looked perfect, as always. He had his temple leaning against yours and you were looking into the camera with big round eyes, a puzzled pout on your pink lips.

In fact, the picture wasn't that bad. You looked cute together, but you would never admit that. Chan looked up from his laptop and regarded the picture with a smile.

"That turned out well! You look like a scared kitten" he laughed, and that's when you saw Hyunjin uploading it to Bubble. Sighing, you let yourself fall back into the seat and felt Hyunjin put an arm around you and pull you against him. You leaned your head against his and watched him scroll through the comments and responses from Stays.

The responses were positive through and through. Many wrote how cute you looked and a whole lot of people wrote how beautiful they thought you were, that you were made for the Stray Kids and you blushed when Hyunjin teased you about it. The love you got from the fans was incredible. Soon you were swept to TikTok and watched videos while cuddling.

You laughed at funny edits and compilations where recordings of you and the Kids were cut together. Meanwhile, there were tons of shipping videos where intimate moments between you and the guys were recorded and put together.

Whether it was during the video shoots in the background, like the making of the teaser where you saw too late that Jeongin and you could be seen in the background while you were very close taking care of his nosebleed. Just in time, Hyunjin had turned off the camera and so your kiss was no longer filmed.

But your laughter died in your throat when a video popped up that also made Hyunjin squint his eyes.

At first you recognized the building by the little café with the green doors. It was only a few minutes walk from JYPE, so Chan usually got the coffee for you from there that you loved so much.

You all got lost there all the time during breaks or after work because it was tucked away in an alley and the boys were also very rarely recognised there.

That’s why it was even stranger that someone had filmed this very café.

Spellbound, you stared at the screen as it zoomed in until you could make out indistinct outlines behind the shop windows.

On the video you saw the outlines of a man and a smaller woman with blond hair. Even though the quality was really bad and you couldn't make out very much except for a few pixels, you knew who the girl was.

You had personally hired the stylist before the tour. She was Australian, had an excellent resume and was doing an excellent job so far.

She was really pretty and had quickly made friends with Chan. Her charm had not escaped you either. Even though it stung your chest every time you saw them chatting together, you never let on.

You couldn't. After all, you had a job to do.

There was wild speculation in the comments whether that was actually Bang Chan on the video, with a 'mystery' girl.

You could only see him from behind, but you knew immediately that it was him.

He wore the same jacket on the video as he did yesterday in the studio, and his posture was so familiar to you that there was no doubt in your mind.

In the video, the two were standing behind the window of the café and had obviously taken a break yesterday to get coffee. You had seen them leave the JYP building, but you hadn't given it a second thought because you were up to your neck in work.

Now your heart was tightened into a knot and stung uncomfortably in your chest when you saw Mina in the video giving Chan her bright smile. They were talking boisterously and despite the blurry image, due to the enormous zoom, you could see how beautiful she was.

Her blonde hair fell in waves over her shoulders and shone like liquid gold in the light.

You glanced briefly at Chan, but he was engrossed in his work and didn't notice anything.

What happened next in the video burst the knot in your chest, leaving painful shards that cut you from the inside out.

You looked closer at the screen, Hyunjins hands shivered and they actually kissed. There was no doubt about it.

You couldn't stand the video a second longer and jumped up from your seat. Hyunjin immediately turned off his phone and looked after you in panic as you excused yourself and disappeared into the bathroom.

He had also seen it for the first time and couldn't quite believe what had just happened.

Only when you saw your pale face in the mirror did your heart seem to start beating again. And it hammered painfully in time with your breathing.

It shouldn't affect you. No you shouldn't care. You were the manager and nothing more, you should be aware of that. Chan had explained to you what the arrangement was about. It was not a firm commitment and you had no right to feel that way. But then why did tears come to your eyes? Silently you sobbed into your hand, which you pressed forcefully over your mouth so that no one would hear you.

Your breathing panicked as you tried to calm yourself, but the pain in your chest bored deeper into your flesh with each breath.

It took a few breaths before you could get your body back to work normally. You winced violently as someone knocked on the door.

"Y/N? Are you in there?" you heard Hyunjin ask.

Hectically, you ripped paper from the dispenser and tried to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"Yes. I'm in here," you said in a shaky voice, trying not to sound too nasal. You cleared your throat hard and could hear him leaning his head against the door.

"How are you?"

With both thumbs, you brushed away remaining tears from under your eyes and took a deep breath. Then you opened the door with a jerk and put on a smile as soon as you looked Hyunjin in the eye.

"Everything's fine."

Concern gleamed in his eyes, and in wonder he watched you push past him. But you didn't run back to your place next to Chan.

Instead, you ran to Han and Minho who were sitting further back. As soon as you got near them, they made room and Han tapped the seat between them.

"Finally you join us, honey!"

You dropped down between them, trying not to show how much the video was bothering you. Automatically Minho put a hand on your knee and let his thumb circle over your thigh while he dozed off with his eyes closed.

"I wanted to see how you were doing back here," you said with a smile, watching Hyunjin walk back with a petrified look on his face.

"We're better now," Han purred, pressing a kiss to your neck, nibbling on your skin playfully until you giggled and pushed him away because it tickled.

Minho's hand was tight against your inner thigh, and though he didn't open his eyes, he gave you such a sense of security that you dared to breathe a sigh of relief. It wasn't until you landed that you remembered one thing that made you grind your teeth.

At the airport you would meet the rest of the team, which meant Mina too....

You wanted to throw up the moment you spotted her between the Secruity and the rest of the staff. Of course, the airport was littered with fans and press and the typical commotion began to break out around you as soon as the first people recognized Stray Kids.

You were led through the airport, accompanied by lightning storms, shouts and crowds. It was overwhelming every time, but right now you had completely different worries.

Your gaze automatically followed Chan, who hurried past the people with his eyes downcast. When you recognized Mina's blond mop of hair in front of him, you clenched both hands into fists and no longer heard all the chaos around you.

The guys all ran one after the other through a narrow aisle kept clear by security, waving to the fans and into the hundreds of cameras. Mina was about to let Chan through, since he was the last of the guys in front of you, but he put a hand on her back and let her pass safely down the aisle in front of him.

Your environment drifted into the background and although it was typical of Chan to be concerned about the welfare of others, tears were already pushing their way into the corners of your eyes again.

The video played continuously in your mind and you feared suffocation if you had to watch his hand touching her back for a second longer.

It took what felt like an eternity until you were out of the airport and reached the shuttle buses.

There, one by one, everyone climbed into the cars and when you reached the door, Chan, of all people, held the door open for you and offered you a hand so you could get in. Your eyes met for a moment and that broke the last fortitude, that was left in your body.

His warm amber eyes radiated the confidence that always gave you security, no matter how stressful it was. But right now, you couldn't think of anything but the pain you felt when you saw Mina and him kissing.

Despite the many cell phone cameras pointed at you, you ignored his hand and ran to the nearest bus where Seungmin and Felix were just getting on.

Jeongin reacted immediately and took your seat. Chan, on the other hand, looked after you in confusion and remained standing until Han called out to him to get on.

By the time you reached the hotel, you felt so sick that you had to lean against the reception desk while you waited for the room cards. You noticed Chan's inquiring gaze on you, you dodged his glare every time he tried to make contact. With the four room cards, you went back to the guys in the lobby and distributed them among them. There, too, you ignored Chan's hand when he tried to take a card for himself and Changbin.

But you couldn't even bear to stand near him.

So you sidestepped him and gave it directly to Changbin. Hyunjin and I.N went first to their room and were soon followed by Seungmin and Han. Without another word, you slipped into the next elevator while the rest were still chatting.

But before the door could close, an arm slid between the thick doors and Chan slipped in at the last moment. As soon as the elevator started moving, he turned to you.

"What's wrong?"

You could feel how much it bothered him that you ignored him, but even now you didn't dare look at him.

"Nothing." you replied dryly.

The soft elevator music punctuated your anger, which began to bubble with the stinging feeling in your chest.

"That's not true. You've been ignoring me since the flight. What have I done?"

You watched the rising numbers on the display, the details of what floor you were on, as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen.

"I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong."

The sentence came out a bit sharper than you wanted and when he remained silent and just stared at you, as if he would get any answer that way, you made the mistake of looking at him for a moment.

Immediately he recognized the sadness mixed with anger in your eyes.

"Talk to me, Y/N! You know you can trust me with anything and if I did something, please tell me!"

The elevator finally stopped on the right floor and just before the doors opened you snorted in annoyance.

"Why don't you ask Mina to talk to you? I'm sure she'd be interested."

You regretted the words as soon as they were spoken, but your head was full of blinding anger. Anger at yourself for acting so childish and not being able to do anything about it. Anger at the blonde girl and especially anger at Chan.

You quickly jumped out of the elevator and just wanted to leave. After only a few steps, Chan grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, making you look at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, by now with a darker tone and his piercing look sent a shiver down your spine.

"It's nothing!" it escaped you louder than you meant to, and you pried your hand from his grasp.

Chan looked more and more confused, and before you could whirl around again to leave, he was holding you by the arm again, pressing you against the red wallpaper of the hallway. It took your breath away as he leaned over you, his eyes flickering with rage.

"Then why are you treating me like this? You always keep everything bottled up. It's exhausting. Why don't you trust me?" he asked, sounding hurt. The grip on your arm was so tight it hurt, but he didn't seem to notice. He clenched his teeth hard and his jaw twitched.

His eyes were fixed on yours and you feared you had forgotten how to speak. His broad shoulders completely shielded you from the outside world and he made no move to let you go.

Tears now burned dangerously at the corners of your eyes and you swallowed painfully to push them back.

"It's all right," you tried to say in a strained voice, but gradually he seemed to catch on. Your words slowly got through to him and that's when you felt his grip on your arms loosen.

"You know about the kiss?" he asked quietly, suddenly dejected.

"It's all over the internet. You've been filmed."

His hands flew into his hair and he briefly turned his back to you as he groaned loudly:

"Fucking hell..."

You still pressed your hands tightly against the wall, not daring to move from the spot.

"Don't worry you won't be recognized. You can only speculate..." you said and that's when he turned back to you.

That he might be recognized was the least of his worries at the moment. He looked sad and there was something else in his eyes that you couldn't put your finger on.

"She just kissed me suddenly. I didn't want to..." he began, but you shook your head and stared at the floor.

His justifications were so much worse than being silent.

"It's okay Chan. You don't have to explain anything to me. You can do whatever you want," you replied a little more quietly as an older couple came out of one of the hotel rooms and eyed you curiously.

You took a few steps away from the wall and only when the people were gone did Chan reply:

"Oh yeah, so it doesn't bother you?"

"What do you want me to say?" you shouted in his face, your voice rolling over. Tears burned at the corners of your eyes and your lower lip quivered dangerously. Gradually, you didn't care if he saw you crying. The pain in your chest was too deep and every second you argued, you got progressively worse.

Chan threw his hands in the air and you had never seen him so loud and frantic before.

"That you're angry with me. That you hate me or just punch me. But don't say it's okay! You always do."

"I don't have the right to say anything Chan!"

"Why?"

His eyes were full of pain and you could see your own anger reflected in them.

"Because I'm not your girlfriend."

The sentence hung in the air like thick smog poisoning the atmosphere and Chan just stared.

You couldn't bear to look at his perplexed face for a second longer and turned to flee. You just wanted to bury yourself in your bed until the next flight and never have to speak again.

"So you don't care?" you heard Chan shout behind you. By now you couldn't hold back the tears and they streamed freely down your cheeks. You were already embarrassed about what a wreck you were, but inside it was tearing you apart.

Chan meant so much to you and now arguing with him like this was eating you up. When you didn't respond, he shouted emphatically:

"Y/N! Look me in the eye and say you don't care! Then I'll leave you alone."

So you turned around after all. When he saw your face flooded with tears, he froze and would have loved to run to you to pull you into his arms. He regretted all of his words and hated himself for his anger issues that he never wanted to take them out on you.

He didn't know you were crying, and seeing you with swollen eyes and wet cheeks, your body now finally shaken by bloodcurdling sobs, was a sight he never wanted to see or trigger.

He felt terribly guilty, but no words escaped his lips.

"I do," you murmured, wrapping your arms around your body.

"What?"

His voice was brittle and his eyes red. He was on the verge of breaking down. Only extreme tension kept him from becoming a blubbering mess.

"I care about it! I care about you, idiot! I hate seeing you with her! I hate even more how it makes me feel. It fucking hurts like hell and I know I have no right to feel this way, but I want to cry and lash out when I see her around you!" you sobbed and by now the entire hallway must have heard you.

"I shouldn't have let all this happen.... I knew you'd get hurt if you came near me."

His voice softened again and he took a step towards you.

"No. It was my choice. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to the arrangement."

Chan shook his head, gritted his teeth, and wanted to touch you. Warningly, you raised a hand to keep him from coming closer. The intimidating anger in his eyes was burned into your memory and you wouldn't forget it anytime soon.

It was all too much for you, and if he took one more step toward you, you couldn't guarantee anything. Your emotions were caught in a whirlpool of rage, fear and sadness over which you no longer had any control.

"Stay away! Please don't come any closer!"

At your shaky voice, something inside him broke, but he immediately stopped and raised his hands to signal that he wouldn't hurt you.

"Chan, if I'm just a fucktoy to you, that's fine, but then tell me."

He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at you uncomprehendingly. The silence that followed was answer enough and you wanted to throw up, fall to the floor and choke on your own tears.

Why had you been so blind? He had made it clear from the beginning that it would never amount to a relationship with him or any of the others.

Your stupid feelings were all your fault.

"I understand..."

It was just a huff, and you had knocked on Hyunjin's hotel room faster than Chan could respond. He could only watch as the door opened and closed again behind you.

Chan slammed his fist against the wall and cursed loudly. He had ruined everything and driven away the person who meant so much to him. His biggest fear had become reality and it was all his fault.

Hyunjin pulled you into his arms without hesitation and just held you while your body was shaken by heart-wrenching sobs.

Together you sat down on the bed, where he hugged you tightly and never let go.

You didn't have to say what was going on. No words were necessary and you were grateful to him for that. He was just there, holding you, whispering soothing words and keeping you company until the tears subsided and you fell asleep exhausted in his arms.

->Part 22

——————————————————————-

© Sky-yuna — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

Taglist (closed):

@poisonivy21 @elizalabs3 @chartrucewhore @smutlemononeshot @hgema @bookwyrm28 @jeongchaos @jihanlovic @comingupwithacoolnameishard @marked-unknown @yuhjoeyuh @bakedlilgoonie @itstorimf @toomuchtellyneck @ana-stasssiaaa @galaxypox @n034sy @amara-mars @purple-bell @amararosesblog @tori719 @rindomo @freakinthesheets-excelexcel @crazyllamasurfer @luunaruwu @mariegalea @kimseungminsprincess @julciaqwerty @officialshania @whore4stucky9104 @foxinnie8 @i-dont-know-me-either @sirenthalia @mixling-blog @httpsmultifandom @hyunlixwife @eastleighsblog @tzalethhwang @queenofdragons12 @fixation-dump @midsoulz @emmxxsworld @scarletrosesposts @jinniespuppy @minervasystem @hyunlixsbbygirl @3rachasninja @cuddlethebear @sinforsuccubus @sweetpeas-serpent-princess

#fanfic #stray kids #fanfiction #bang chan #skz #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #fluff #smut #skz smut #stray kids bang chan #angst #skz angst #skz ot8 #ot8 #SkyYuna #ot8 x reader #ot8 stray kids #stray kids hyunjin #ot8 x you #stray kids ot8 #stray kids seungmin #stray kids han #stray kids changbin #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #x reader #chan x reader

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Orufrey: "They're tragic wlw who have devoted their lives to each other since they were kids. They live together, they cook together, they're raising four girls together and they're doing the best they can. Olruggio would do anything for Qifrey if Qifrey would just Let Him 😭 but Qifrey is dead-set on protecting Olruggio and keeping him safe and in the dark no matter what it costs... i cant 😭..."

"Man I don't know they just have the vibes. They have toxic yuri energy but they are two grown men. They've known each other since their apprentice days and have stuck together ever since. Qifrey's main magic type was something he took up because Olruggio proposed that he learned to control the water he feared. They live together away from most of society with Qifrey's four apprentices, living the sapphic cottagecore (ateliercore???) dream. Qifrey, due to the fact that his eyesight is very much failing, something which is very problematic when it comes to witches, who need their eyesight more than most, is getting very desperate to get all he lost to the Brimhats, the witches who took one of his eyes and his memories, and Olruggio ends up noticing this pursuit and is implied to have done this more than once. Qifrey does not want Olruggio to know about both his failing eyesight and his goals, so he ends up completely wiping Olruggio's memory of those things, and laments that Olruggio is a kind person, and one who would most likely forgive him again, but also one who would try to save him, even when he didn't want to be saved. He also apologized right up until the moment Olruggio's memories of his secret were gone. In general I think chapter 40 is the somewhat toxic guy yuri chapter ever. I'm very tired so I do not know how to explain any of this, I just thought "wow Orufrey reminds me of this one poll I saw on Tumblr" and then spent three days straight hunting for your blog before completely forgetting my reasoning for Orufrey being yuri right before I submitted this."

Propaganda for Hualian: "Xie Lian is a god and Hua Cheng is his devoted believer, which is very yuri. They've also been separated for 800 years, which is very yuri too. Oh and they've been through The Horrors! With one of them forced to helplessly watch as the other suffered unimaginable pain! Now that's extremely yuri of them, if magical girl animes are to be believed..."

"What's more yuri than 800 years of devotion? Nothing that's what! Ghosts usually move on and disappear after a century of so, Hua Cheng is fueled by love so strong he very literally crawled out of hell, became a Ghost King, fought and defeated 33 gods and searched for his love for centuries until they were finally able to meet again. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are so yuri there's an entire section of the fandom that just draws/writes them as women, not too weird since being separated and then connected by fate to ultimately defeat a really powerful evil god together is sapphic culture"

#guy yuri semifinals #orufrey #hualian #witch hat atelier #wha #heaven official's blessing #tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #olruggio #qifrey

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

A/N: Just clearing out my draft folder. This was written way before FOI.

Eddie was dreaming of Chrissy again. He was dreaming of her smile. He was dreaming of her life. He could see the glint of her strawberry blonde hair as it shined brightly in the sun. He dreamed of things that didn't happen, that couldn't happen. He was at the picnic table with her. He was taking her hand and pulling her into his arms so they could dance. He spun her around until the trees were just blurs, until they were blurs. It changed to a memory of them at the middle school talent show.

"You were really good, I think you should have won," Chrissy had said as she shared her cookies with him, her legs swinging beside his.

"You were really good too. You deserved to win more than I did," Eddie replied.

"I think you and your band will do awesome things. It's such an awesome name," Chrissy said.

"I came up with it, you know," Eddie said proudly.

"That's so cool!" Chrissy had exclaimed, so impressed with Eddie Munson, and then she was being dragged away by her mother.

It would change again, and they were in his trailer. Chrissy was on the ceiling, calling his name. Everything was red. He watched her die, calling his name.

"CHRISSY!"

Tying his sweaty hair into a bun before walking downstairs into Steve Harrington's kitchen. Eddie's name was cleared but not by the court of public opinion. He was still in hiding long after his scars had healed. He got a bottle of water and sat at the island. He placed his head into his hands, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes.

"Hey, man," a voice came from the doorway.

Eddie looked up to find Steve standing there, looking perfectly ruffled from sleep.

"Hey," Eddie muttered softly.

"I heard you calling out. I don't think I have to ask if you had a nightmare," Steve said as he sat beside him.

"Yeah," Eddie snorted.

"You called out Chrissy's name," Steve said, and Eddie's lip trembled. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"She was so happy. When she got to the picnic table, she was upset and scared, and then she started to laugh. It was because of me that she relaxed. It was because of me that suddenly she turned into the sun with that smile of hers and I couldn't look at her. . . Not without going blind," Eddie said. "I've never hurt anyone, Steve. The only time I ever fought back against those assholes was with my words. She was always so nice to me. I could never hurt her, but everyone thinks that I did. How could they think that?"

"Sometimes people can't see past the surface," Steve said. "They look at you, and all they see is what they want to see. Nothing else matters, and people ignore what's right in front of them. They're ignorant and small-minded, Eddie. It's easier for them to believe what's right in front of them. You're a good man who loved Chrissy."

Sometimes, people forget how Chrissy's story is to Eddie. He was a part of her story as much as she was a part of his. He did it all for her, put himself on the line for her.

"Steve, we barely interacted," Eddie said.

"You saw her when no one else did," Steve said. "She went to you instead of her parents, her boyfriends, or her friends. In her last moments, you made her happy. Nancy spoke to some of her friends. It sounds like she wasn't happy for a long time, and even though it was short-lived, you gave her that. I know you don't think you helped her, but you did, you really did."

Eddie's body wracked with sobs. Steve wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to his chest. Eddie clung to him, crying into his chest as Steve moved to cradle his head in his hand. Steve pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead, holding him as he cried. Was this something that he did with the kids? Once Eddie let it all out, Steve cleaned his face and made him drink the entire bottle of water. Steve grabbed his hand and started pulling him upstairs.

"Where are you taking me, Steve?" Eddie asked.

"My room, you're not sleeping alone tonight," Steve said.

It was strange. Eddie wasn't sure how to feel about it, especially when Steve pulled him into his arms.

"Don't get fresh with me, Harrington," Eddie mumbled.

"Don't be an asshole, Munson," Steve said, laughing. "Especially when I'm trying to help you."

It wasn't long before Eddie was drifting off to sleep, safe in Steve's arms. He wished it was Chrissy's arms he was sleeping in. As he fell asleep, he let out one final sob.

As time moved forward, slowly Eddie started to as well. He was no longer sleeping in the guest bedroom but was now sleeping permanently in Steve's bedroom, in Steve's arms. He still woke up from a nightmare, but they were happening less frequently. When he did wake up from a nightmare, Steve would be there to comfort him. He would hold him and would whisper soothing words in his ear, and then he would rub his back to get him to go to sleep. Eddie found out it was something that Steve's mother used to do when Steve was younger.

Eddie wasn't the only one plagued with nightmares. Steve would moan a lot and call out Eddie's name, sometimes Robin's, or Dustin's. Eddie's name was called out just as much as Dustin's and Robin's. He called out the other kids' names as well, Max's more so than the other kids. Eddie would be there to comfort him like Steve did for Eddie. While Steve held him gently, Eddie would wrap all of his limbs around Steve like an octopus, holding onto him like a lifeline.

The backrubs became more than just for nightmares. One of them would have trouble falling asleep, and the other would run their fingernails across their skin. Eddie loved giving Steve a backrub. He loved looking at his moles and freckles. He would create constellations and come up with his own stories to go along with them. It always made Steve giggle with delight. Sometimes, Eddie stared a little too long at the scars on his back, wincing at imaging Steve being dragged across the ground, his skin tearing.

"Getting a little low there, Eddie! That's my ass."

"Right! Sorry!"

Eventually, it became a little easier to go out for Eddie. They figured it was partially due to them being scared of Eddie, and largely due to being scared of whatever connections Hopper had that brought him back from the dead, but people ignored Eddie. At least they weren't threatening to send him to hell anymore, but Eddie wished they would stop looking at him.

"Thanks for coming shopping with me, Stevie!" Eddie said and then began speaking with a dramatic southern accent. "I ever feel so much better now that I got a big strapping man to protect me. Oh, lawdy."

He slipped his arm through Steve’s and swooned against him, fanning himself.

"I'm starting to regret it," Steve said sarcastically.

"Oh, please, you know you love me," Eddie said, not letting go of his arm.

Steve stuttered and blushed, but he didn't deny it. It was quiet after that, and when they laid in bed that night, it was back to back. It was hard for them to go to sleep that night, thinking about what occurred. Eddie started to think about his situation with Steve. He knew he was attracted to him as much as he had been attracted to Chrissy. Chrissy. He hadn't thought about her in a while. The grief was still there, but it didn't hurt as much as it did before. He knew it was because of Steve.

It was Steve who made him laugh again. It was Steve who made him smile. It was Steve who made him safe again, but the sense that danger was just around the corner would always be there. He felt safe with Steve. He had a type apparently, and it was people made of sunshine. Steve radiated it as much as Chrissy did. He was the sun, and Eddie was the plant that needed to grow. If Steve needed him to, Eddie would try and be the sun for him, too. Eddie loved him. He loved Steve. He was in love with Steve. Eddie turned around, wrapping his arm around Steve’s shirtless body. He started placing delicate kisses along Steve’s shoulder blades, moving them up until he was kissing his neck. Steve moaned and turned to face him.

"I love you, Steve," Eddie whispered.

"I know."

"You didn't."

"What?"

"Tell me you didn't just fucking Han Solo me!" Eddie exclaimed.

Steve laughed, and Eddie pressed a hard kiss to Steve’s lips to shut him up. Eddie broke the kiss, laughing.

"I love you too," Steve whispered.

Steve could help him get through anything. He'd never be over Chrissy Cunningham, though. She'd always be imprinted on his heart as a reminder that life is short and dangerous, that you should cherish every single moment. So, here Eddie was, basking in the wonderful sunshine that was Steve Harrington.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #steve harrington #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #bisexual eddie munson #mentions of #chrissy cunningham #missed opportunity hellcheer #steve helps him through it #stranger things fanfiction #rueleigh writes

[ay0nha]

Dead Man Walking | Tommy Miller

SUMMARY: “May as well ask it, sweetheart.” Tommy caught your eye and saw the way you were contemplating every aspect of his being. You hardly knew him. He was convincing, though. Talked of a place that would take you in, no questions asked. A place that sounded disgustingly beautiful. 

PAIRING: Tommy Miller x femme!reader

WORD COUNT: 2K

WARNINGS: not too much, pretty fluff/angst oriented, canon-typical things (infected, firearms, etc.), talk of eating/food, etc.

A/N: I couldn’t resist. Look at him. It isn’t anything crazy, a short lil sm sm for fun that’s pretty self-indulgent. This is dedicated to @from-the-clouds​ who helped me tremendously and has a genius brain for ideas!

 Part II

The wind chill kept you static. It made your bones ache with every movement of the horse. But you were grateful that you no longer had to endure it on foot. Or alone.

There was little energy left in your body to keep yourself upright. Tommy could feel how your body threatened to cave and noted how you fought against it as best you could.

“No point in being stubborn.” Tommy’s voice rumbled against your chest as you moved away. The inconsistent conversation shared helped you rally but made you tense with uncertainty. “I’m just as cold as you are.”

Your effort to ignore him dwindled, and so did your willpower to argue. He was insistent on your comfort, offering his waist for warmth and support.

With a confident hand on the reign, Tommy reached for your own, pulling you tightly to him. At first, your grip around him was tight, as if you’d fall. Even with the thick fabric between you and him, the warmth seeped into you instantly.

You meant to keep to yourself, but your sigh was telling of the relief Tommy provided. Days passed with a chill you couldn’t shake and exhaustion that you refused to let consume you.

“We’ll go a little bit further before stoppin’.” Tommy was almost as tired as you, but he held more drive. Maintaining the steady pace of the horse, he almost cursed the weather. “Don’t think I’ll ever get used to this cold.”

To be afraid wasn’t strange; fear abounded in your dreams. So you stayed awake, resting your cheek between Tommy’s shoulder blades with some introspection. He appreciated the weight; it was something cathartic.

He provided information about himself easily. It rolled off his tongue as if he was with a lifelong friend. You wanted to hold the same ease, but your voice felt hard to find. You were uneasy; Tommy could sense it.  It’s why he always continued to fill the silence.

“You know, I’d kill for a cigarette.” Tommy hummed as if talking to himself, perfectly content. That familiar itch called him back before it all. “Probably best I haven’t gotten my hands on a pack in a while.”

The image suited him well—a smoking cowboy.

Tommy rambled on. He doesn’t know how much you understood, but you thought it was a reasonable bit of nonsense. It helped weave a dream of before as you finally succumbed to sleep.

“Oh, yeah.” Tommy nodded, talking through the cigarette that muffled his words. You could hear the brief inhale of smoke before he continued, "You and me, we're gonna get married."

You laughed as you found your balance on the hood of his truck, "You sound so sure of yourself."

"Can't you see it?" He plucked the cigarette from his lips to be heard clearly. Tone genuine, he held out his hand as if explaining an elaborate painting, "You and me with a couple of kids, not too many- We don't want to be outnumbered..."

"I’m not even sure I want kids." You humored him honestly as he held up his lighter for the cigarette you had bummed.

With the lighter secure in his jacket pocket, Tommy had already devised a solution, "That's fine, then we can get a dog and live anywhere. Anywhere but here. How's that sound?"

"I don't know…" You rhythmically tapped the ash off the tip of the cigarette. You had no idea where you truly were, but you couldn’t stop the confession, "I'm quite partial to this town."

"We can always talk about that in the future," Tommy shrugged, enjoying the amusement he pulled from you, "I want to show you Austin; I  think you'd love it."

"I've only just met you." Your smile mirrored his. "How would you know what I like?"

"I thought you might say that," He tutted lightly. Tommy imagined it all, played out every scenario, and there you were. It had just made sense. "Let's say it's a hunch."

You flicked your cigarette  to the ground before stepping on it firmly. Hands occupied in the pockets of your jacket, you took a moment to study him. He was handsome, no doubt, and used it to his advantage, which to you, became his only disadvantage.

"Not convinced I can go solely based on a hunch."

—

Stay close.  

You latched onto Tommy moments after the coarse instruction. You were sure it was a hindrance, but pure fear dictated your every move.

The gunshot continued to ring in your ears, causing your breath to become tight in your chest. The snow crunched beneath every frantic step toward possible safety. The sound allured danger, meaning it was imperative to move fast and quietly.

“Are you hurt?”

You hardly heard the question over the cluster of infected you’d angered. The shrieking intensified and filled your senses. Tommy repeated his question, yet entirely focused on the path before him.

“Fine.” You faltered, finding your voice. “I’m fine.”

Your hands started to shake. Your gun was gone, forgotten as you fought for your life. Tommy’s horse was mangled beyond recognition, buried beneath a swarm of infected. Your options were becoming extremely limited.

“We’ve got to get to the water.” Tommy was steps ahead of you, already seeing the safety in his mind. Yet, his lightheartedness with you was gone, replaced by years of tactful experience.  “We can get leverage there.”

The formation of your relationship would have questioned how you followed Tommy so faithfully.  You were reluctant, but you were desperate. And now that desperation morphed into dependence for survival.

“I need you to stay focused now, okay?” Tommy spoke in hushed tones, eyes filtering the mess before you. Even the path of least resistance included immense risk. “When I move, you move.”

He led you purposefully, firing his gun only when necessary and using his strength to his advantage.  You felt useless beside him, watching as he ruthlessly cleared the path. But you were no longer controlling your body, moving only on instinct.

That’s when Tommy heard it. He halted, reaching to you again to backtrack the route. His mind turned, waiting to land on a useful thought. But you recognized the panic in his eyes.

“Shit. ”

The curses poured out swiftly. He needed to think.

“Tomm-

His hand was to your mouth, cutting his name short. The forceful silence filled you with fear as your back became met the tree bark. Tommy’s eyebrows were taut, eyes wide with a finger on his lips.

You heard it.

The trees groaned against the wind. Anything that resonated drove the clicker closer to where Tommy encased you in a protective hold.  Its movements twitched erratically, following any sound with a semblance of life.

As the pressure grew, you pulled him to your chest by the collar of his jacket. Your bodies were flesh together, unsteady breath mixing as you trembled under him.

You tried to hold it in, breathing evenly to suppress any sobbing urge. It was neither the time nor the place for added emotion. But the clicker was close, close enough that it would soon brush against Tommy’s collar. The very same one you held onto so desperately.

Your tears fell freely, sliding down until they met the palm of Tommy’s hand. You clenched your teeth so hard you bit your tongue and cried harder. Tommy could feel how they burned, how terrified you really were.  Your brain lagged when Tommy pulled the pistol from his waist.

In a fluid movement, he used it to deliver a lethal shot.

—

You were staring.

Tommy could feel the burning gaze on his profile since you settled by the fire. He remained quiet, but you stayed silent from the moment the clicking echoed in the dense forest.  

The fear refused to leave you, and the repeated question stayed on the tip of Tommy’s tongue. Are you alright?

Anger radiated off of you. If you spoke now, you knew it would be misdirected. Instead, you tore your eyes from him with indifference.

Tommy pulled at the bandana fastened around his neck, using his canteen to dose it with water. You watched him rub it along his face, around his neck and hands. He wasted more water to help the paisley pattern return to its original grungy white.

Your arm's length away requirement diminished the longer you spent with him, especially when he was habitually responsible for closing the distance. “C’mere.”

Although Tommy called you to him, he met you in your spot. You lifted your chin for him as he wiped off any remnants of what shook you. Maybe it was only symbolic, but it helped.

“I don’t trust you.”  

You had waited until his fingers rested on your chin to speak. Your voice didn’t even sound like your own. It was soft and airy as if it carried no weight, no life. Tommy’s eyebrows pulled together. He wasn’t confused but intrigued by your choice of words.

“Odd way to say thank you.”  Tommy stood with a sigh, bandanna forgotten as he threw it on his pack. Your eyes tracked him as he moved on to prepare the canned dinner.

“Who are you- How did-” Your head cocked to the side. The images of the hours prior were still fresh in your mind. How could he be so calm? “How did you do that?”

You said it yourself; you didn’t trust him. He saw something in your eyes; he believed you.

The past handful of weeks proved that. And yet, he knew you stuck around because he was your final option for survival.

“I was in the military.” Tommy resigned in the truth. He didn’t regret it but always wished things turned out differently.  “Joined right out of school, stayed until I didn’t have to anymore.”

“The military’s just a pipeline to FEDRA.” You spat your words. You found any reason to be upset at him. You wanted something to be wrong about the situation—a reason to run.

“You believe that?”  He picked at the food, eyeing, squinting just slightly to challenge you. There was always a catch. But he was slowly giving you a reason to believe there wasn’t. “You need to eat something.”

Adrenaline had numbed your body; your legs no longer ached from running, your mind felt blank, and all you felt was dread. Therefore, you failed to tally how long it had been since you ate, the way Tommy had.

You pushed the food around in the can you hadn’t noticed he passed along. You didn’t trust what your stomach could handle.

Tommy seemed so unbothered that it bothered you. His gaze was fixed on the sky, ankles crossed over one another, and fingers settled comfortably across his chest.  But the judgment didn’t go unnoticed.

“May as well ask it, sweetheart.”

Tommy caught your eye and saw the way you were contemplating every aspect of his being. You hardly knew him. He was convincing, though. Talked of a place that would take you in, no questions asked. A place that sounded disgustingly beautiful.

“You’re not from around here.” You commented, but you didn’t seem settled with the statement. Sweetheart. Naturally, it rolled off his tongue and paired perfectly with the accent. “Louisiana?”

The more he spoke, the thicker his drawl seemed to become. Maybe it was the stress that evoked it, but it certainly didn’t belong to the land you occupied. It was soft but detectable.  

“God, no.” He shook his head.  You were able to hear his laugh directly. It was fleeting, more  like a quick breath out the nose, but it was a laugh. “Texas.”

“So you’re a real cowboy, then.” You mused. There was a warmth to your words that wasn’t there before. There was a need to put it out, but you continued, “All this isn’t just for show.”

“Suppose not, no.”

It was then you understood Tommy. You clocked him easily; what he was like before it all. He was trouble, a magnet for mischief.  He was kindhearted at his core but had the ability to do so much more. He was dangerous, yet you’ve never felt more secure.

A chill crawled up your spine at the actualization. You didn’t know what to do with it but pause before offering an unorthodox thank you,  "...Empathy will get you killed."

"Then I'm a dead man walking."

#q #tommy miller #tommy #miller #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller fluff #tommy miller angst #tommy miller tlou #tlou #the last of us #gabriel luna #tommy miller x femme!reader #tommy miller x f!reader #tommy miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou imagine #tlou fic #tlou fanfic

[wjehfshs]

So Imma SIMP for Avatar:way of the water and call of duty MWII so I thought maybe some headcanon of call of duty reacting to Na'vi reader that has dark blue skin due to a genetic mutation.

Like they were taken from their home got sent to earth but they escape and are now on earth trying to find away back home.

and the task force 141 end bumping into you during their night mission and maybe reader saves them but causing reader to get injured.

Also do this when you have some motivation and don't stress yourself buddy

I love this idea I love it when people combine fandoms

Na’vi reader + cod characters reacting to reader (141 + Köing, Keegan, Horangi, yes Ik Keegan is from a completely different game but I love him sm I needed to add him) reader self sacrificing, combined fandoms, Omatikaya reader, reader has a skin mutation. This genuinely had to be one of my fav requests ever, I had so much fun writing this I think I got carried away, a lot of swearing, violence

You where Na’vi, one of the forest people, although the Omarikaya had dark skin, due to some genetic mutation you had darker skin than normal

You fought in the first battle against the sky people aside Jake Sully and Neytiri, you saw their first born Neteyam, then they adopted Kiri, then they had Lo’ak, and then Tuk.

You where good friends with the Sully family, that’s why when the sky people returned as Avatars, they targeted you

When you where out hunting they caught you in a net and sedated you

The next thing you remember was waking up on a ship (let’s just pretend it doesn’t take 5 years to get back to earth anymore they developed new technology or smth)

You looked through the bars of your cage, you new English fluently due to being part of Graces school and Jake teaching you more after Graces passing

It had been weeks until you finally landed, they handcuffed you and walked you back to their base

During your time on the ship they did experiments and surgery’s on you, you don’t know exactly what you did but after tests you found you could breathe human air now

You where like their lab rat

After some time they threw you into a new enclosure and returned to their human forms

You knew this was your chance

You stole some keys from a guard, unlocked your cage, and booked it for the nearest exit

You ran until your legs hurt

You found yourself at a military base

It was crowded with men in gear

You hid behind the building and tried to find food

CRACK. Shit. You had stood on a branch

“What was that?” A man with a funny accent and cloth over his head said

“Let’s go check it out” another one said with a blander looking version of an ikran helmet over his eyes, you had heard Norm talk about them sometimes, sunglasses? You think they where called

You tried to run somewhere but everywhere was blocked

Before you knew it the funny cloth man had spotted you

He had his gun raised at you

“Holy fucking shit what the fuck is that?!”

He pressed a button on some device on his clothing, it made a static sound, maybe a device to talk to other people? Like those special necklaces Jake and his family had

“Get the fuck out here in the back, everyone. Now.”

The sunglasses guy had his gun also raised at you in a defensive stance

You had learnt from Jake that if anyone where to point a gun at you, to raise your hands and look as harmless as possible

I mean it wasn’t like you could do anything, the sky people took your weapons

You where crouched down in the dirt, hands up, head down, ears flat on your head

Soon all of these other men ran out here, hands on guns, worried looks on their faces

“You’ve got to be kidding me” a man with darker skin compared to the others and a funny hat on his head with some, flag? On the front of his hat. “This has to be a fucking dream” he stammered

The man with the cloth seemed to be the tallest but compared to you, he was nothing

“Who are you?!” Another man with a wide brimmed hat and weird facial hair said

You opened and closed your mouth trying to speak but it felt as if there was a string in your throat holding the words back

You where shaking, your heart beating fast as you struggled to keep yourself from falling over, even if you where crouching

There seemed to be nine men looking on at you as if you had 20 eyes (Gaz, Köing, Roach, Alex, Price, Ghost, Horangi, Keegan, Soap)

Finally the words came to you “I’m [name] I. I was taken by the sky people to your star. I, I mean no harm.” You said in a thick Na’vi accent, almost on the verge of crying

They all looked confused, sky people? Star? Was there something they didn’t know?

All of them seemed to take note of your three fingers, tail, ears, and most importantly, blue skin

“Stand up. Now” a man with a skull mask said in a heavy unrecognisable accent

This was their first mistake, asking for you to stand up

You gingerly complied and straightened out your body

That’s when they saw how unbelievably tall you where

This didn’t help the situation as they where already scared of you, but now seeing how tall you where it only made them more defensive

“Bloody fuckin’ Jesus” a man with shaved sides and spiked hair mumbled

They took you inside with their guns still pointed at you

When you got inside they locked the doors and windows and ushered you to sit down, on a table.

You sat eyes still fixated on the cold ground as the pain in your feet started to kick in

Earths ground was a lot more painful than Pandoras, a lot more sharp objects in the ground

“Ok well first of all we don’t know who or even what the fuck you are” the brimmed hat man said

“But, we’ll introduce ourselves. I’m Price, this is Ghost, this is Keegan, Köing, Horangi, Soap, Gaz, Alex, and Roach” he ushered towards each of the men as he said their names

“Now you gotta explain what the fuck you are doing here” he said, almost angry

You took a deep breath and steadied yourself “I’m [name] I am from the star Pandora, or as I think you call it, planet? I am part of the Omatikaya clan, the forest people, I fought in the great battle agains the sky people with Jake Sully, we where victorious however the sky people returned and captured me, I am their prisoner…”

They where all silent for a moment “…ok, well… Jesus what am I supposed to say” Price mumbled the last part

“Sir, if I may speak freely, I think this, thing, is being serious” Gaz whispered to him

“O-oh I am Na’vi, that is my species I think it’s called”

“What the fuck how did you hear that” Gaz was astonished how you heard him whisper that

“Oh well us Na’vi have heightened senses”

“Oh. I see”

“Ok uh, look, what are we supposed to do with you lad/lass?” Soap asked

“I apologise, I had escaped from the sky people and I ran here. I did not mean to cause you any harm” you said almost ashamed

“Ok who the fuck are ‘the sky people’” Keegan asked frustrated

You took a moment to remember the word “ah! Humans, I mean humans, they came down from the sky when they attacked us”

Suddenly they heard a crash from outside

It was the sky people coming back to retrieve you

Immediately everyone grabbed their guns as you had to duck and weave under the roof and doors.

And so the attack begun

As everyone was shooting at the cars and helicopters you panicked and thought of what to do

You noticed a man trying to sneak up on Price, immediately you ran up behind him and attacked him, biting his neck and holding him down

All Price could do was watch on in fear, I mean you where this unknown creature who just showed up and now your ripping a man to pieces with your bare teeth right in front of him

That wasn’t to say he wasn’t grateful you saved him but he was still scared

Before he could process anything you sprung into action asking him if he had a bow and arrow anywhere, he ushered towards the archery room and you bolted towards there, grabbing the biggest one you could find

It was still too small but it was the best you could do

You ran to the back of the building where Keegan and Ghost where catching there breath and without batting an eyelid, you climbed up the building onto the roof

Shooting at the sky people the best you could with everyone else shooting at them

You finally beat them

It was over just as quick as it started

It felt like it happened in a heartbeat

Blood was all over the front area of the Barracks but at least everyone was safe

You all gathered back inside as everyone was sweating and breathing heavily

Ghost finally spoke up “I don’t know if anybody else saw it but that [name] just fuckin’ climbed onto the roof and shot those people dead with a bow and arrow alone” he seemed stressed but grateful

They all seemed to notice the blood residue on your mouth as you wiped it off and licked the rest of it off

While everyone else was on the brink of passing out, you where just fine, completely calm and collected.

Maybe a little shaken up but that seemed to be it

Price looked at you, “Thank you, for earlier? If it wasn’t for you I’d be dead by now” he gestured towards you as he said this

You couldn’t help but let your tail move up and down when he said that, you felt appreciated.

He took notice of the gashes on your body as blood dripped down your torso, but you seemed to not notice somehow?

The question was, what to do with you now?

#avatar the way of water #avatar x reader #cod x reader #cod #cod mw2 #cod ghosts #avatar #avatar the way of water x reader #multifandom

[skzpixiekaifei]

For my youth interview

Cw: Dark!! Mentions of past abus*ve relationship(physical and sexual), suicidal attempts, past pedophilia(kai was the victim), mentions of infertility, drinking problems, let me know if there is any I missed

Taglist: @mynameisnotlaura

Px: Annyeong! My name is Pixie from straykids, but you may call me Kai. (She waves at the camera and blows it kisses)

Q: What is "For my youth" about?

Px: For my youth... it's a very raw, emotional part of myself. I try and make sure my image before now is the silly kind, I hate seeing anyone in pain or sad, so I don't like showing my emotions other than positive ones.

Px: I never had a good grasp of emotions growing up. My childhood was cut short because of me becoming a trainee, and I was not able to come to terms with my emotions through puberty. While other trainees at least had some semblance of a social life, I was always training or too busy teaching others to actively partake in regular emotional stability.

Px: so in a way, For my Youth is therapy?(She laughs) it's basically a love letter to myself.

Q: Who is the ex you talk about in your songs?

Px: Oh my (she blushes, holding her cheek, embarrassed) he was my first relationship I had. I was fifteen and he was... late into being nineteen?

Px: Don't look at me like that. So many people look at me with pity when I tell them that, and I hate being regarded with pity. (She sighs)

Px: It was... not a good relationship. We fought constantly. We were both jealous of the other's time away. I would be training with Chan and he would get so... angry. I had threatened the girls he was talking to, it was not a fun thing. I felt so.. ugly when I was with him.

Px: He had a massive drinking problem. Some days he would come to the dorm and...(her eyes glossed over at the memory) ...I'd rather not speak of it.

Px: Whenever I was able to have my phone, he would only let me talk to him. He was able to talk to whoever he wanted, but I was lucky if I was even allowed to talk to my mother once a month. The relationship lasted a year and I was only able to talk to my parents... about a collective two times? One during Easter and one during Chuseok.

Px: (she clears her throat) Back then, I was so blinded by love of this... man. He was so sweet one minute, and then he would be violent. I can't tell you how many times he forced himself upon me, that now it's hard to say whether I would be able to have kids (she laughs bitterly) which really sucks because my dream was to be a mother. (She tilts her head back to avoid the tears to fall)

Q: Why did you include a song such as Bullet in For my Youth

Px: Ah, Bullet... it was originally supposed to be a Stray Kids song but we decided not to because of the very dark concept it had. I still have the demo of the us singing it together (she laughs softly)

Px: I wrote it before I joined JYP at thirteen. I was twelve and I really enjoyed listening to bands like MCR and Guns and Roses. It was the time where I would hurt myself, I still have the scars from the time. Not physically but...

Px: The second time I revised it was back in 2022, right after my second attempt. I was so depressed after my parents passing that I didn't even think about the effect it would have on my family and especially my brother. I was very depressed, I think the most I was in my life. I blame myself, y'know. And don't say it wasn't, because they wouldn't have died if that guy wasn't a "fan" of mine.

Px: I think that's the irony of Bullet. The happy tone of me singing shows how us idols, especially women, have to be all happy on the outside while we all have problems.

Q: What is the biggest message you want people to take away from your album?

Px: funny answer or serious answer? (She pauses) serious answer? That you can overcome anything. You are much stronger than you look, and you may be the reason a friend is still with you today. Don't make your past your present, and don't ever make it your future. You are so much more than your past.

Bonus:

Px: Funny answer? Capitalise your trauma and cry on company time. (Winks)

#bang chan #changbin #han jisung #hyunjin #jeongin #lee felix #lee know #seungmin #skz #skz imagines #stray kids #straykids #skz ninth member #skz female oc #skz female addition #skzkaifei #skz female member #stray kids female oc #9th member of stray kids #stray kids female member

[moonshine999]

The Crows as Taylor Swift albums (pt.3)

because sleep and sanity are out the fucking window

Jesper Fahey : 1989

🎞️ “Everybody here was someone else before // And you can want who you want // Boys and boys and girls and girls” - Welcome To New York 

🎞️ “Nice to meet you, where you been? // I could show you incredible things // Magic, madness, heaven, sin // Saw you there and I thought // “Oh, my God, look at that face // You look like my next mistake // Love's a game, wanna play?"” - Blank Space 

🎞️ “And when we go crashing down, we come back every time // ‘Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style” - Style 

🎞️ “You took a Polaroid of us // Then discovered (Then discovered) // The rest of the world was black and white // But we were in screaming colour” - Out of the Woods 

🎞️ “I said, "No one has to know what we do" // His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room // And his voice is a familiar sound”  - Wildest Dreams 

🎞️ “Tossing, turning // Struggled through the night with someone new // And I could go on and on, on and on // Lantern, burning // Flickered in the night, only you  // But you were still gone, gone, gone” - This Love 

🎞️ “Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it // My love // They are the hunters, we are the foxes // And we run” - I Know Places 

🎞️ “Ten months sober, I must admit // Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it // Ten months older, I won't give in //Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it“ - Clean 

🎞️ “Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? // Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? //I felt your arms twistin' around me” - Wonderland 

🎞️ “No proof, one touch // But you felt enough // You can hear it in the silence, silence, you // You can feel it on the way home, way home, you // You can see it // with the lights out, lights out // You are in love, true love” - You Are In Love 

🎞️ “You keep his shirt // He keeps his word // And for once, you let go // Of your fears and your ghosts // One step, not much // But it said enough” - You Are In Love 

🎞️ “And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars // And why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words” - You Are In Love

🎞️ “‘Cause baby, I could build a castle // Out of all the bricks they threw at me // And every day is like a battle // But every night with us is like a dream // It's poker // He can't see it in my face // But I'm about to play my Ace (ah) // We need love // But all we want is danger // We team up // Then switch sides like a record changer // The rumors are terrible and cruel //But honey, most of them are true” - New Romantics 

🎞️ “Baby, we're the new romantics // Come on, come along with me // Heartbreak is the national anthem // We sing it proudly // We are too busy dancing // To get knocked off our feet // Baby, we're the new romantics // The best people in life are free” - New Romantics

Wylan Van Eck Hendriks : Evermore

🍂 “You know that my train could take you home // Anywhere else is hollow // Begging for you to take my hand // Wreck my plans // That's my man” - willow

🍂 “How evergreen, our group of friends // Don't think we'll say that word again // And soon thev'll have the nerve to deck the halls // That we once walked through” - champagne problems 

🍂 “I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush // I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch // Everybody wants you // Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you // Walk past, quick brush // I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush // I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush // Everybody wants you” - gold rush

🍂 “I notice everything you do or don't do // You're so much older and wiser, and I // I wait by the door like I'm just a kid // Use my best colors for your portrait // Lay the table with the fancy shit // And watch you tolerate it // If it's all in my head, tell me now // Tell me I've got it wrong somehow // I know my love should be celebrated // But you tolerate it” - tolerate it

🍂 “He reports his missing wife // And I noticed when I passed his house his truck has got some brand new tires // And his mistress moved in // Sleeps in Este's bed and everything // No, there ain't no doubt // Somebody's gotta catch him out” - no body, no crime 

🍂 “Showed you all of my hiding spots // I was dancing when the music stopped// And in the disbelief // I can't face reinvention // I haven't met the new me yet “ - happiness

🍂 “Break my soul in two looking for you // But you're right here // If I can't relate to you anymore // Then who am I related to?” - coney island 

🍂”You're a cowboy like me // Perched in the dark // Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear // Like it could be love // I could be the way forward // Only if they pay for it” - cowboy like me 

🍂 “When I dropped my sword // I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door // And we live in peace // But if someone comes at us // This time, I'm ready” - long story short 

🍂 “Long story short, it was a bad time // Long story short, I survived” - long story short 

🍂 “‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me // Watched as you signed your name Marjorie // All your closets of backlogged dreams // And how you left them all to me” - marjorie 

🍂 “You're alive, so alive // And if I didn't know better // I'd think you were singing to me now // If I didn't know better // I'd think you were still around” - marjorie 

🍂 “It cut deep to know ya // Right to the bone // Yes, I got your letter  // Yes, I'm doing better  // I know that it's over  // I don't need your closure” - closure

🍂 “And when I was shipwrecked (can't think of all the cost) // I thought of you (all the things that will be lost now) // In the cracks of light (can we just get a pause?) // I dreamed of you (to be certain we'll be tall again)” - evermore 

🍂 “Sometimes giving up is the strong thing // Sometimes to run is the brave thing // Sometimes walking out is the one thing // That will find you the right thing” - it’s time to go

🍂 “Now he sits on his throne in his palace of bones // Praying to his greed // He's got my past frozen behind glass // But I've got me” - it’s time to go 

(Kaz, Inej, Matthias and Nina are already posted)

#grishaverse #six of crows #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #wylan x jesper #jesper fahey #taylor swift #swifties #evermore #1989 #love the fact that my otp is #Completely in line with my two favourite albums #who would have thunk it #otp #wesper #the crows as taylor swift albums

[genericpuff]

phew.

okay.

TW: death and funerals, lost loved ones

I'm back from the funeral, currently having breakfast with my mom before she goes back home again. I'm a little beat, this past weekend was definitely hard, but I'm glad I was able to be there.

Honestly, while the wake and funeral were difficult to get through, I think the hardest part is just continuing to exist knowing that she's gone. Amy was my great-aunt's daughter but she always treated me like one of her own growing up, she was like a second mom to my own mother and a grandmother to me. She was genuinely one of the sweetest people I've ever known, she radiated grace and warmth. Her life could be best descibed as "bittersweet" - she had kids incredibly young, at 16, but she still raised them into amazing people; she lost one of her sons to cancer about a decade ago, but still pressed on regardless knowing he was with her in spirit; she was diagnosed with cancer localized in her hip and fought her way into remission; her husband was in a motorbike accident not even a year ago, costing him his right leg, but she nurtured him through his recovery and did everything to ensure he could continue with his life in the best quality possible; every time she struggled in life, every time she was thrown a bad hand, she fought back with compassion, grace, empathy, and warmth.

We had assumed and hoped she still had another 10-20 years left, her mother lived to be 94 and her aunt (my grandmother) lived to be 83. Instead she died at 77, practically on the way out the door to her chemo appointment after her cancer had returned. She was always good about her health, ate well, exercised. Unfortunately she died to what doctors are assuming was heart failure. She didn't deserve to go that soon or in the way that she did - with plans still made, things to do, dreams to fulfill. The last thing she said to her husband before suddenly collapsing was "Just give me a second to put my face on." She had plans to celebrate her birthday with her daughter days later. She was just on her way out the door to go to an appointment. My mom had even tried to call her from work that very same morning just to check in - she was my mother's connection to that side of the family, everything that happened in her life would be highlighted by the thought, "I have to tell Amy."

It was a normal day. She was here, and then she was gone.

But that's life. It goes on. The people in it come and go. Life goes on, but our perceptions of it shift with the definition of "normal".

The hardest part is knowing she's not going to be there next time I visit. The hardest part is knowing her husband of 40 years will be going to bed alone. The hardest part is seeing her Facebook account wishing her a happy birthday two days after her passing, as if she were still here and reading the responses from those who don't even know what happened.

I'll be okay. But like all forms of grief, it will be here, coming and going in waves. I'll think I'm fine, that I'm "over it", and then I'll find myself crying all over again. Even now as I write this, I'm struggling to get through it without having to stop and breathe and let myself feel.

I'm horrified and upset she's gone, and I will be for a long time - but that sadness is proof she was here, proof she was a part of my life, and that I got to be a part of hers. And I couldn't be more grateful.

Rest in peace, Amy. I love you so much.

[gentrychild]

Hi! I'm not exactly a fan of BNHA and most of my knowledge about it came from fics and your blog. Curiosity about Bakugo's "death" led me to read the last 3 chapters, and the newest one confused me. I'm hoping you could shed some light on it?

Why is it important to the heroes that Bakugo lives? To the point an older, more experienced hero is prepared to sacrifice himself to revive Bakugo? Does he have some kind of secret weapon the heroes can use? What makes him /that/ important and vital to the current crisis?

Thanks for the help. I hope you have a fabulous day! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

I think you already know the answer to your question.

More seriously, I have waited quite a while before answering this ask because I wanted to see what the next chapters would deliver and also so I was sure not to be instantly proven wrong after unleashing a vast quantity of salt. But I don't want to wait longer so here are the usual warnings: this is going to be a salt post, this is my opinion and not some absolute truth, and I accept the risk of being disproved.

Bakugou's death and everything that happened afterwards was pointless and cheap.

I personally found Bakugou's "death" very underwhelming because, especially for such a popular character, there are far better ways to bring one incredible death scene. The manga tried to show us that he went Plus Ultra and how much he had changed but the way it was brought made it underwhelming. His death could have brought more damage to Shigaraki. Or, one could have gone in the opposite direction and shown that yes, he didn't stand a chance against ShigarAFO but put more emotion into it to show that he fought for every additional second. Or he could have "died" protecting someone, which would nicely tie-in with his character arc of learning to be a hero who saves people.

Instead, the result was lukewarm. And the fact that pretty much everyone knows he isn't really dead doesn't bother me. But the last chapters did, especially when Bakugou already got seemingly killed by ShigarAFO during the war arc (and got away with only a couple of cool scars).

But what was a "Ah! That happened! Pretty cool quirk application moment and I like the change we see in Bakugou once he is waiting in purgatory with Flame Might!" moment because a clusterfuck of epic proportion with what is done to try to bring Bakugou back.

The asspulls of all asspulls. The most "WTF" moment of the entire manga and I am saying that while fully aware that Mirio twerked in front of Shigaraki one chapter later.

Edgeshot decides to kill himself on the off chance of bringing Bakugou back to life. He intends to fold himself à la Plus Ultra to become Bakugou's new heart, performing one of the most WTF open-heart surgeries ever on the middle of the battlefield while ShigarAFO is stomping on the remaining members of the Dream team.

How does he know how to do that? Is that how one of his parents die? Why is he doing that? Because his generation failed Bakugou's so he must atone and as an adult, he must save the kid.

The sheer troll logic one must attain to decide something like that is beyond my comprehension.

Edgeshot isn't dying at the time. It's not a "At least, my death might save him" moment. No, this is a top hero, who decided that he had to die to save one kid while the Big Three are fighting for their lives. In the time it took him to pull that not-so-life-saving procedure, Miruko has now lost all of her limbs, now channeling the Dark Knight of Monthy Python but hey, at least, she is certainly doing a better job than Edgeshot at trying to stop Shigaraki from killing them all and destroying UA, which is, in case I need to remind someone, FULL OF PEOPLE WORKING TO KEEP THAT THING IN THE AIR.

To answer your question, not only was "saving" (because, again, Edgeshot doesn't even know if it will work) Bakugou detrimental to the whole operation because they sacrificed a top hero during a situation where all hands on deck were required but it might have been for absolutely nothing.

Even if Bakugou, now part jeans and part ninja, starts breathing again, no one sane of mind would expect to get back to his feet and to fight again. 

Now, I will hazard a guess as to why this so-called death was necessary. I could be wrong. But I feel that this was a desperate attempt for Bakugou’s character to have an excuse not to do anything while Izuku is fighting Shigaraki.

Because there has been kind of an elephant in the room for several arcs now.

The manga doesn’t want to outright say that by now, Izuku is stronger than Bakugou. Not just stronger, as in “in a fight, Deku would win”. I am talking about Izuku being in a league on his own by now.

Because here is the thing: you have Bakugou who is a really popular character, who rose to the rank of deuteragonist, and who is defined by two things: he never stops fighting and he never loses. And now that he is fighting the big bad (well, one of them), it’s a problem because if Bakugou wins, that means the entire hero society is incompetent, so is the villain (since he got beaten by a first year) and the MC and OFA is useless. But if he loses or just shown not to be able to keep up with ShigarAFO and Deku and has to stay on the sideline, it’s almost out of character for him because one of the things he keeps repeating to Izuku is “Don’t try to do things alone.” (The Jakku battle and the solo arc, in case you’re wondering.)

I disgress but that’s another thing the solo arc could have been useful for. Really setting up the fact that Izuku can fight with Shigaraki on his own and that he was now in a different power category than his classmates. Instead, we got the “This is the story of how we all become heroes” and the plot must now bend over backwards to justify it.

Also, there is a 75% chance that Bakugou wakes up at some point, with Edgeshot’s quirk, and helps finish ShigarAFO.

So, to answer your question, no, there was no reason for Edgeshot to kill himself over the possibility of reviving Bakugou. Bakugou and Edgeshot had no prior interaction that could justify this. And if Izuku arrived ten seconds later, this sacrifice would have been for nothing.

#Sorry for unleashing the salt on you but you caught me in a moment of weakness #bnha salt #bnha manga spoilers

[not-so-allegiant-general]

Part 1/4

If he only could stop thinking about Hux. Oh how much easier would it be. But every time he was closing his eyes he felt every bite mark. He felt every kiss, every push, every wound. He would sell soul to see him again. But they wouldn't let him. Hux is a prisoner and so as Kylo. They just have different cages. He sighed pushing Rey away and parring her blows with swift move of his new saber. Only three more moves and she was laying on the ground without a weapon. How could i lose a fight to her? Rey hit the ground with her fist.

"How come you always win!?" Kylo shrugged.

"Your balance is off" So as mine " you wave mindlessly instead actually use forms. You focus on the outcome too much"

Luke who was sitting on the ground opened eyes and looked at them.

"Apart from that... ah i don't know. You're trying to be to fast but you can't pull that off. Instead of being fast you get tired quickly. You're not grounded and..."

"Yes! Thank you i understand! I will go back to kindergarten and practice forms with Fin. " She snorted with growing irritation"Happy, Lord Ren?!"

"Rey." Luke glanced at her. A warning. Kylo just shrugged again.

"If you actually going to do that than yes. Very happy. I am tired of practising with someone who barely knows how to hold her saber"

"Ben. "

"Its Kylo. If you please." He barked.

"Rey. Can you leave us alone?"

" Sure" she snorted again. "I get It. It's not a place for kids. " She glared angrily at Kylo and walked away. Luke looked at her worried.

" Don't worry. She's not like me."

" No. She is not... but quit provoking her."

" Why? She needs other motivation than your ancient knowledge. She doesn't buy it you know but doesn't want to upset you either. And i am right she is off balance, is not grounded, has troubles with duels.."

"You have changed."

" That's... Rather, obvious statement."

"Yes i know its just .... I hoped... "

"Ben is not coming back. Simply because there is no Ben and... I... Don't think there ever was. No matter how many times you're going to call me this name. I am Kylo. You either respect that or ignore that as my lovely mother. But decide already." He felt tired. And fought the urge to just laid down on the ground.

" You re not well... "

" I am not" he turned and walked away.

"Kylo. " He stopped and glanced at Luke. " You clearly do not need a teacher anymore. But if you need something" he shrugged "an advice, a talk, a tea"

" I will concider that"

Dreams were the worst. The most vivid memories of everything he lost. Vibrant ginger hair, green eyes and a smile as sharp as blade. And that mouth everywhere on him. He sat straight and sighed closing his arms around himself. A tea wouldn't kill him.

Luke wasn't asleep.

"A talk, tea or advice ?'

"A tea" he raised his eyebrow and sat down looking at a cup" Its trine"

"It is"

Kylo felt pain in the chest. Tarine and cigarettes. Only thing Hux would "ate" in the morning. The tea itself was awful. But he doesn't mind it anymore.

"Something hounds you or maybe someone ? Am i right?"

" I came for a tea not advice"

"Ah. My bad" they sat in silence. Kylo sighed.

"Alright. Yes. Someone."

"Someone dead?"

"no. I Hope not. I Hope he is very much alive" i know he is. "We were close. I asked mother if i could... See him. She wouldn't let me"

" Yes well... I guess She's not keen on idea because She's scared that you two will plot"

" Us two vs whole new republic? Without ships, crew and organization? She obviously thinks highly about us. I... I don't want to rule anything. Not anymore. Just... A couple hours would be enough for a start."

Luke observed him for a short moment.

" i will talk to my sister."

"If you will manage i will be nicer to Rey"

"don't. You're right. " Kylo smiled.

" Do i now?"

"Yes. Yes you are. She needs that kind of motivation. Just... Don't over do It. I don't want to deal with another dark side user. It's not a path for her"

"Yes, sir" he said mockingly

"And leave that for your Imperial boyfriend "

"He is not my boyfriend. "

"no? Then what?" Kylo touched a chain on his neck and puled out a black ring. Luke's eyes opened widely.

"You're... "

"Engaged." he said silently. "Married actually"

#armitage hux #kylux #general hux #hux #star wars #kylo ren #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #yes i wrote 4 parts #because i could #stay tuned for Hux in the next part

[marshmallowprotection]

Listen I know it’s March but I just thought of giving Ray Christmas presents for the first time and I’m sobbing

God. See, by the time we meet Unknown in the Christmas DLC, he is of the belief that Christmas is a lie... and in many ways, yeah, that's a very easy perspective to deal with. You see kids in poverty struggle to receive a single gift and kids who are more fortunate get anything in the world. It's by luck, by chance, a flip of a coin when it comes to the luck a child has in life in that regard.

Saeran and Saeyoung Choi were born in a situation where Christmas wasn't a happy thing for either of them. Unknown recounts how he's angry at the grown-ups who lie about Santa, and how angry he is to see Santa give gifts to "good kids" and he was never "good enough" to receive a single gift. Like, we understand why Saeran didn't get a single thing unless Saeyoung fought to get him something before he went into the agency, but it doesn't chance the grief Saeran feels in his heart about Christmas.

Christmas can be... a very hard time for many people. It's a season of good will and cheerfulness, but consumerism, capitalism, and every inch of goodwill gets sapped out in the modern day, unfortunately. It isn't fun for many little kids. I understand Unknown's pain, I know it all too well, but I imagine... it's different for Ray. Well, because, Ray is the boy who doesn't stop dreaming.

He can't stop believing in fairytales and happily ever after. I can see him trying his best to keep believing in Christmas, in Santa, and in the stories he heard... even if he finds himself with nothing under a tree or in a stocking.

That's the painful thing about him. He keeps believing even if it hurts.

After all, that's something that is told to us by Suit Saeran countless times. Ray doesn't stop trying to see the best in things even if it hurts him, even if he's confused, and even if he doesn't know what to believe anymore, he keeps believing that someday everything will be okay. Of course, when it's mentioned to us, his core belief is that someday he might be able to live with V and Saeyoung again.

 I don't think its wrong to carry on his wish to more wishful thinking.

If you happen to be in Mint Eye around Christmas, I imagine he would try to pull out the stops to make it wonderful for you. He isn't the kind of person who would want to make it about himself, but you're not going to let him not experience the wonder he's trying to give you. You see it, don't you? You see that painful look on his face every time he smiles and you know no matter how much he tries to put on a show for you, he wishes that he could experience this kind of wonder. 

He would try to make you all kinds of gifts to fill up a tree in your room of all places. But, I agree with you in saying that it would be amazing to help him experience the Christmas magic he wants to experience.

The best thing you could do would be to hide a handmade present underneath the tree he brought into your room. I can see him being excited by watching you open things he's made for you all morning, but when you get to the bottom of the pile, and you discover something with his name on it, you smile at him, and he's touched. 

I don't think you could get away with telling him it was from Santa, but I do think you could tell him that you wanted to get him something because it's the spirit of the season. Giving is the core value, and you want him to understand that the world may be a difficult place, but he's a part of it and that means he deserves to receive something just like everyone else. 

He'll cry.

And you'll hold him.

But, it will be okay.

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #mm #choi saeran #ray choi #choi ray #ray mm #ray mysme #ray mystic messenger #christmas dlc #character analysis