#I don't even think they live on this side of the complex wtf

[shoumeitsuki]

𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵...

꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦ ♪ ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

☾ ✒ "adorable~" ~ 𝄞

⌕ ✒ fluff + suggestive ~ ꕥ

☀︎ ✒ ship : aventurine × gn!reader ~ ᰔᩚ

☁︎ ✒ side/mentioned characters : n/a ~ ꨄ

⚠︎ ✒ warnings : suggestive content ~ ✮

✧ ✒ summary : hcs of when you/aventurine call(s) aventurine/you cute ~ ∘•∘

✉ ✒ notes : first time writing hsr; he's not even released yet and I am feeling unexplainable things for this man/btw this shouldn't be too long (i hope??) - might be ooc - I started writing this at March 18th... ~ ⌨︎︎

⇚ ↺ ⇛

• you call him cute

= I think it would go two ways, either he gets flustered or he teases you back

= maybe when he's flustered he'd stutter a little, maybe blushing a little bit? (who wrote this wtf)

= if he teases you back he'd probably go "oh, reeaally?" smirking YFSJRGBS why do I write fanfiction again?

= I hate that one of my ideas is that he'd get bricked (I'm so sorry)

~

"dear, I'm home!"

you hear his voice along with the noise of the door opening, which signals that your boyfriend, aventurine, has come home from work.

you took a look at him, watching him stretch so adorably, like a cat. he takes off his hat and puts it on a stand.

you wait for him to reach the living room, before leaving the kitchen and going up to him as quietly as possible.

"don't you know how cute you are?" you snuck up behind aventurine, hugging him and burying your face into his neck, inhaling his scent. (what the fuck)

"I- ahem, am I now?" he attempts to cover up how flustered he is, even though his face is a shade of bright red.

"mhm..." you muttered in his neck, giving it light butterfly kisses, as you slowly move your fingers down. your hands eventually reach to the buttons of his shirt, which you easily unbuttoned.

"let's continue in the bedroom, okay...?" aventurine says, capturing your hands and leads you to your shared bedroom.

when you reach the bedroom, you move infront of him to face him, staring right into his purple-blue eyes before pushing him down onto the bed.

"aw, you worked so hard, didn't you, my dear? let me help you relieve some of the stress..." you say, unbuckling his belt & unbuttoning his pants, crouching between his thighs.

he whines a bit, yet he doesn't push you away.

you both know it's gonna be quite the long night.

• he calls you cute

= he would definitely surprise you, maybe after coming home or something ueueue

= he'd surprise you at the most random time so it catches you off guard

= he would LOVE to see you blush and all flustered omg

= he'd probably say something along the lines of "you seem tired... what would you say to a little //massage//...?" which is FAR from a massage btw

~

you unlocked the door to your shared apartment complex with your boyfriend, aventurine when you got off work.

you entered your home, surprised to see that aventurine hasn't greeted you yet.

but you didn't pay much mind to it, as he probably went to a casino and you're tired, wanting to get some rest.

you go to the bedroom, opening the door to put away your bag. however, you definitely didn't expect aventurine to come up to you and trap you against the wall.

you blushed slightly at the sight, aventurine looking so handsome (??? why) with his eyes filled with... lust?

he holds your chin, making you look up at him. "you're so adorable when you're flustered like this." he smirks, slowly caressing your cheeks dusted with blush.

he slowly leads you to the bed, and when he pushes you down on it, he looks at you, asking for consent.

when you nod, he carefully starts undressing you, as if you're something made of porcelain, so easy to break.

he then takes off your pants, crouching down between them and giving your underwear (sjdhsb) a few kisses.

he proceeds to take them off, and starts sucking on you so gently, teasing you. ♡

⇚ ↺ ⇛

✉ ✒ notes : if you're taller than aventurine no you're not /j ~ ☏

꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦ ♪ ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

#hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #star rail aventurine #aventurine smut

[fluffypotatey]

*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite

#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again #(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube) #special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots #fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕 #also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other #forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again #also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi #own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her #when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur #it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more #literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more #well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for #always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf #also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc #loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites #with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER #her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate #the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ????? #anyway #continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:( #[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂 #place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur) #spent 2 days on this post lol #me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur— #me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free???? #pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate! #me: FUCK THERE’S MORE #bbc merlin #merlin meta #pendragon sibs

[crystal-crax]

A RANT:

THE NEON LEON

(I) A rise to leadership

Pun intended bc Leo would love it

Has this been done yet? Of course, but i love ranting about my favorite characters and boy, rise tmnt has so much to rant about (well, the whole tmnt franchise has enough material to speak for HOURS buttt rise lives forever in my heart so yeah i'm biased). Might talk about mutant mayhem in the future idk.

Leonardo Hamato/Splinterson has always been the leader, the one that carries the weight of carrying the team and following splinter's steps as the next "head" of the family (as said by splinter in the 2012 tmnt). And yeah in much of the versions of the turtles, this is a very important aspect of his personality, it's his literal purpose; it's the catalyst for a lot of the narratives and storylines seen across the tmnt universe: His fights with Raph, his anxiety, his inferiority complex, his constant wish to be better, how he sometimes neglects (or simply goes against?)his brother's feelings in order to keep them and the team itself safe.

Being the leader is both the weight and medal that comes with being Leonardo, that sisyphean task that we will always see try to accomplish over and over again.

So if we want to explore why he is a great leader... shouldn't we take that weight off his shoulders?

And that my people, it's what rise does perfectly. The best way to prove that Leo is a great leader? To show us how he can handle the team from the shadows, let us see how well he knows his team's strengths and shortcomings.

But don't just make him want to be the leader, no no, show us why we should all trust him to.

First of all: Leo panicking at the face of danger, might be useful sometimes.

Honest to god: i think the rise writers and animators are amazing. They're so GOOD at showing us important pieces of the characters even without directly saying it.

First of all, he doesn't have a fight or flight response because he straight up waves his ōdachi directly at anything that attacks him and his brothers (bro has kill om sight sense, he literally sliced warren one time, remember?). He will always have the advantage, even when surprised. Also the way he lightens up the situation with his witty banter and one liners when stress is too much? Extra points for keeping team morale up👍

Or in a different case, leo's panic when the mad dogs get in trouble upon a stronger rival. Why is it great? Because even though he's losing his absolute shit, he's able to act and take the next conscious step; even when it's used for laughs: He calls for his father when his family is in danger. It may sometimes be a funny gag ; like in "Flushed but never forgotten" or soul fucking wrenching like when they're attacked by shredder and RAPH IS PROTECTING DONNIE AND LEO SCREAMS AND I- *ehem*. But he knows splinter it's capable of defending them, he trained them after all (this may be arguable when talking about season 1 splint but well, he still recognizes his father as a ninja and his master).

And thus, the next marvel of Leo:

B) He's completely aware of the team's abilities

He's a middle child, he has seen everything, and the most perfect example of it: Many unhappy returns.

BOY IF THAT'S NOT THE MOST AMAZING DEMONSTRATION OF LEO'S LEADERSHIP AND STRATEGY IDK WHAT ELSE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

He trusts his siblings completely, sure he looks out for them and supports them when needed (while being sarcastic about it), but he knows they're amazing at the hero thing.

I wouldn't doubt it if Splinter; being with Leo most of the episode saw just how in control he was of the situation and went: "dude...why are you not the one leading the team? You're...actually so smart wtf????"

C)He knows how to dial down his brother's enthusiasm and calls out his father's faults (and sometimes hypocrisy)

Remember the paper thieves episode?

That's peak leader Leo

The whole team was full on trying to get killed for the lols, and what does he do? Pulls them to the side and explains why they should start with something more simple and gives a speech on why focusing on the "easier task" it's still a good hero job (look out for the small/weaker ones, right?)

Not only that, but he's the one that constantly calls out his dad's mess ups, remaining by his brother's side and defending them (THIS IS NOT A SPLINTER SLANDER, I'M SAD DAD SUPPORTER AND I WILL TALK ABOUT IT LATER) seen as one of the YouTube shorts or when splints nags then about keeping secrets from him: he stands for his team, "you are not supposed to do that/you do the same thing you yell at us for"

He both inspires and defends his team, and hey; a leader is not the one that orders, but the one that motivates and supports you.

D) He's their personal hype man

Cue back to point B, he is amazed by his siblings abilities, even if he dies hide it sometimes. Remember when mikey wanted to go on a solo mission? He's fully on board and never doubts mikey is in control of the situation (sure he does go to "save him" with the others later on but come on, you all heard the call and saw Raph panicking. He trusts him but he's still his little brother y'know?)

He knows Donnie is an absolutely genious and is completely aware of Raph's dedication to the hero gig and responsability.

April and Splints? He knows they're completely capable of holding their own and willingly helps them when the situation calls for it.

And this is it please be free to add anything you might like and tell me if i'm making sense??? Idk i just love him a lot😞

HECK EVEN CASEY, A LITERAL BOY HE JUST MET. He is aware of casey's passion and abilities; i mean, if his own future self trusts him as the only one capable to fix everything, why shouldn't he?

Conclusion: Leo quite literally grew to deserve the role of the leader.

#tmnt #tmnt rant #rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #rotmnt #rise leo #thanks for coming to my rant #rant post

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

ya know what..... Kalim is one of those sunshine characters that naturally interacts and "befriends" so many characters. It's always the sunshine characters that I'm drawn to put in a giant poly-hole where basically everyone is in love with them. It just makes sense.

Kalim x Silver: He's always waking Silver up in class and tries to help is drowsy spells. They're also just one of the few genuinely sweet guys on campus so it's pure fluff. A bonus advantage is that since Silver is a Trained Knight (or on the road to be) he can protect Kalim from assassination attempts.

Kalim x Ruggie: Eat The Rich w/ a twist. My precious hyena boy DESERVES to get married to a sincere Sugar Daddy (or as my gf and I like to say, Sugar Bestie™). He's worked hard enough and Kalim is one of the few upper class individuals that would NEVER use his money or status to control, manipulate or abuse another. He just wants to help out and the endless positivity would not only bring Rugs outta his comfort zone but would also impact those in his hometown A LOT.

Riddle x Kalim: Not a favorite, but I get it. Two kids from wealthy families (one more wealthy than the other) who were kinda isolated from the "regular" world and gotta figure shit out for themselves away from their former caretakers. Obvi, very different contexts and personality but that's what helps them depend on one another. Even when they can't relate, they can Listen and Grow together.

Floyd x Kalim: ARE YOU KIDDING THEY'RE ADHD BUDDIES?!?!? Not only can they relate with similar neurological issues, but their common interests can be a safe zone for them to bond. On top of that, even with their reckless personalities and their overall lack of forethought, Floyd is STRONG and could protect Kalim from any pushback or consequences. They're also both raised by Extreme Capitalist (even thou we don't exactly know what the Tweels parents DO) so the business sense and exposure to the darker side of things probably wouldn't be too much of an adjustment for either side.

Obvi Jamil x Kalim: I know not everyone likes this ship (and considering the dynamic and difference in power/status I TOTALLY get it). Even if the relationship is seen through platonic soulmates, brother-like, or just a 'we-were-stuck-together-for-years-and-now-we-don't-know-how-to-live-apart' sitcom kinda vibe they'll ALWAYS be linked together. Besides, an angsty, complicated childhood friends to lovers story with repressed mutual pinning is a guilty pleasure of mine lol!

Whoever he gets paired with, regardless of if it's a ship that has an anchor in canon interactions or PURELY fueled by fanon crack, there's a billion tropes to work with before even having to dip into AU or Crossover. Kalim is a COMPLEX CHARACTER with so many random lore drops and info that has so much potential. Even when people are writing or creating fan-produces with a more 2d version of his character, he's still lovable!! He's one of the few reoccurring characters in a cast full of obnoxious, weird, arrogant, awful, annoying, egotistical, pigheaded teenage boys with the power of NUKES.... And isn't completely terrible.

Lemme reiterate, that I LOVE so many characters in Twisted Wonderland but boy do these kids get on my nerves. They're all little assholes in some way or another, but there's a range between "okay, pretty standard high schooler" to "IDC IF YOURE TRAUMATIZED NO AMOUNT OF BACKSTORY CAN EXCUSE YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOR!!!!! YOU'RE A FUCKING INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL WTF" and Kalim is a lot chiller. He's irrational sometimes and often does things without thinking it through.... But he's also a kid who's allowed to make mistakes and grow now that he's away from the bubble he grew up in. He can interact with people of all walks of life and get that perspective.

And depending on who he's paired with, romantic or otherwise, it's fascinating and heart wrenching and awe inspiring to watch him grow through the lens and experiences of the other person(s).

.........thank you for coming to my Ted talk 😌

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst kalim #kalim twisted wonderland #kalim al asim #kalim has a harem #in my mind #everyone loves kalim #at least I do okay #hes so FASCINATING #i could write a whole ass analysis paper on the Scarabia boys #and who/how/why the interact with (others) #idk why #literal brain rot #im obsessed #its such a strong hyperfixation and confort and I have so many thoughts and feelings #i must know everything about them #...... Aladdin used to be my favorite movie #so that might be why lol #just a weird fascination and interest with the Middle East lately and idk why #disney twisted wonderland #writing #unfiltered thoughts #kalim x ruggie #kalim/ruggie #kalim x silver #kalim/silver #kalim x riddle #kalim/riddle #kalim x jamil

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Honestly, kimiko should just rebel, follow her own rules and kicks Billy's ass because losing her arm to Zoey could mean the boys is no better than the shining light of liberation because wtf is she doing trying to kidnap a child (Zoe) from her parent? She's no better than the people who kidnapped her and kenji and she's no better than Billy either! Plus, there is a scene of kimiko jumping out the window, holding her injury. So, it must means she's going to possibly going to tell Billy to tell him to shod off and go live her own life; Get some modicum of peace with Frenchie maybe.

honestly? yeah.

and i wish i wish i wish, BUTT. sadly kimiko's got her own complexes and things she doesn't understand due to the way she was... well... stolen from her family and forced to be a soldier.

she's in survival mode, she is almost always in survival mode. she's been treated as a weapon and tends to act as a weapon because she had her humanity robbed from her. in some ways, her situation has a lot of depths that make her very similar to homelander in these regards

except~ kimiko is actually horrified of what she's capable of and what her 'survival mode' and 'weaponization' end up doing (most of the time). and the thing was, she *initially* blamed the v for it, but the underlying cause is her unaddressed *trauma* that puts her in survival mode in the first place (hence why she came to terms with it *sorta* and asked annie to get her the v again, realizing that v itself was a *tool* that she could use to protect the people she cares about).

the boys is no better than shining light *BECAUSE* of butcher. all of them want better and to do better and actually help. frenchie, kimiko, annie, hughie, mm, even mallory--

except butcher.

butcher just wants destruction, and he doesn't care what the cost is and is willing to sacrifice others or use them like pawns or weapons to get what he wants. he ends up being an especially frustrating character because you know that he has these valid grievances and plights and *could* actually do the right thing and give a shit about other people.

but he doesn't. especially the people who actually help him. he treats kimiko and starlight especially, but even his team, like GARBAGE~ with absolutely ZERO excuses for it

and even worse than that, he *uses* these plights as a means to garner sympathy and hide from any criticism for what he does like the gotdamn fucking daddy issues coward he is. he uses his own trauma legit in all the wrong worst ways possible not just to control and manipulate others, but as an excuse to be his absolute worst self and continue spiraling into all that hatred and self loathing.

AND it works!! people are more likely to excuse everything that butcher does! there's a part of me that blames fandom misogyny (for the mistreatment to our precious lady supes) at least a lil, but i also think it's in part to the story being told a good chunk from butcher's *side* of things, but the whole point is that butcher gets *proven wrong*. he is wrong from the start and is a massive fucking hypocrite, and the reader/viewer is supposed to come to this realization as the story unfolds and reveals more about him.

don't even get me started on the chaos in fandom right now, it's a fuckin' mess post gen v. i CAN NOT with the genocide apologism--

BUTCHER AND SHETTY AND CATE ARE ALL FUCKIN' WRONG--.

ANYWHO.

homelander, to some degree has some similar issues. except he's *not* self aware about the fact. he's also battling a different demon with the subconscious thought that he is wholly *unloveable* (which is why he is incapable of recognizing vought as his abuser and still seeks approval and admiration from those around him. he is seeking the means to love himself without realizing he can't actually learn to do that through others)

homelander is also easily manipulated, as to some degrees, is kimiko. hence where scumbag extraordinaire billy butcher comes in. butcher is slowly dragging down homelander to his fucked up level. kimiko and the boys are resisting because they are seeing through butcher's nonsense and dishonesty for once

hard agree that going after zoe isn't just a bad wrong stupid move, it is fucked beyond belief because when you get to the point when you start targetting actual fucking *CHILDREN*--.

there is no excuse for that. ever. EVER. that is why we have the geneva conventions, and yeah. butcher MAKES the boys leik actual fucking terrorists, but that is kinda the point ain't it?

i'm still hoping it's at least *kinda* a raw deal/wrong place, wrong time kinda thing where zoe is there but they weren't actually going after *her* specifically or that butcher withheld certain details/claimed they'd be *saving* her just to get his team on board (as per typical butcher fashion. UGH), but i mean... kidnapping a kid def ain't something butcher wouldn't lower himself to doing.

boi gets worse every season and he started out pretty damn bad.

but BOI, am i lookin' forward to the HELL to come~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

#yeah #valid #kimiko miyashiro #homelander #billy butcher #the boys amazon #the boys tv #meta #the boys meta #wistful wishing #but #we're in for ride~<3 #i look forward to it

[asrieltheflower]

Murder drones rant with spoilers:

Wtf is up Cyn?

Like, it's not fully clear to me. They depict her to be your classic "heartless robot who mimics being normal to disguise evil plans"

But like, is she real? I've seen people suggest that absolute solver (a name the monster gave itself I might add) is the base ai of all worker drones, and the wd_program is what filters that ai into being these workers. This makes sense since the VHS tape says that one of the errors that cause zombie drones is that their wd_program or core is not connected when the drone reboots. But if that's the case then how is it that the several workers who have had plenty of casualties and don't know how to dispose of the bodies, never saw a single zombie? More so, we never saw J actually turn into one, despite dying. Instead we saw a specific organ that clearly was made by Cyn pop out and start rebuilding itself using nearby technology with the intent of fixing J. Later we see a fully rebuilt J, so clearly the personality was still intact, so why would Solver be active?

I think absolute solver isn't an AI, I think it's all Cyn. "Solver" presents itself as some sort of cosmic horror, an existence beyond comprehension that controls the drones at the core. But also it's too stupid to realize that V needs glasses to see... It's so scary with its huge form appearing from all sides without a real face... And it gets hacked by Uzi? It feels pain when N stabs it? It gets frustrated that it can't hold a knife and needs help? This is weirdly humane behaviour... Hold on a second, what if it's just a trick?

Cyn gave us the name absolute solver because she's got a god complex or something? She WANTS to be all powerful, and if you were locked in a basement for being useless, in a situation where you are powerless to do anything about it, that would make sense.

I remember hearing that in the matrix, the robots look the way they do because they hated humans and transformed themselves to look otherworldly, which I'm pretty sure is itself a reference to the biblical stories of a certain angel mutilating it's form to spite the creations of god... A certain... anti-christ? In this world of super-natural and mythical creatures crossed with SciFi I think Cyn is our Lucifer. Someone hateful to her "gods" (the humans that created her and gave her purpose). So she seeks to overthrow them. That explains why Tessa was spared, Cyn might actually care about Tessa, which explains why Cyn is also using the Drones, instead of just wiping their ai. She's a self appointed god here to help achieve the singularity (some sort of technical advancement, probably something that makes Cyn's weird god powers function without the heavy cost of needing constant oil).

It would also explain doll and Uzi. They are tapping into the same power Cyn has. But they aren't going crazy with a desire to control the world or achieve the singularity. They are still worried about their own lives, and fitting in or getting revenge or whatnot. They are still themselves. What is worth talking about is that we don't see how doll survives Vee when her parents die, and we definitely saw Uzi get stabbed through the chest when her dad left. And yet, we only see them engage in the absolute solver after the fact of both of these events. Clearly they are both zombie drones, I think the Wd_programs only purpose is to keep them satisfied with working. That's why everyone was just happy waiting behind the doors with no aspiration to leave, or even have a defense force, they have a program to keep them in line.

Who knows, maybe it's a coincidence and I'm seeing something that isn't really here, maybe the weird bracelet things are what allow solver to be used without the robots being taken over?

Regardless, I'm a bit curious of Thad, since he's one of the only people who was up for fighting back against the murder drones back in episode 1, even if it was brief he was definitely an odd one out there, being the only person who believed the WDF could help fight back. Maybe he has some plot relevance beyond ship baiting, cause god knows this show loves playing with its tropes. And the guy walked out of a fight with Solver... Like they just watched him leave? Could be just one big joke but it'd be cool

#murder drones #spoilers #rant #what does wd_program actually do? #is it rules to follow? #is it their personality?

[firespirited]

In other news my Dune fixation caused by some amazing tumblr meta writing has not been sated by watching the DUNCs.

I had a long pretty good post typed out after the first one and tumblr ate it:

here goes:

I considered it an alternate timeline (by the time we get the non-Alia and Chani choices of DUNC 2, we're definitely in a different version of this story - I like not knowing if Messiah will be much like the book, I like it if there's no escaping the plots set in motion). I had to repeat Alternate Timeline as a litany when there was no diplomatic party, no tweaking methhead bitchy Piter and Kynes didn't get That Moment with nature.

Was disappointed by the fact Paul isn't already tormented by potential futures at his first major fight wondering if dying might be the best way to avoid mass death and escape the machinations. To me, in that fight, he's chosen a path to the suffering of billions and justifies it and refines it later.

Lynch Dune remains fun because it's bonkers, this is fun too but definitely alternate timeline and neither are at all how I imagine it. Lynch seemed to nail the spirit of some of the characters better despite massive creative liberties with the plot details. It's its own weird and wonderful artefact.

Villeneuve remains the king of ovoid spaceships, mega landscapes and letting the fashion and sound designers get a great budget. I love the Chani additions, not canon and I don't care, it works!

The lack of Arabic complex concepts and more references to eastern religions was sorely lacking: flow has to be more than just a picture of moving sand, i wanted that cells interlinked within cells interlinked: galaxies and molecules and populations easter egg.

I also had a hope for DUNC 2 that it would show the whole universe as deeply religious, as in hardwired to give themselves over to a higher power even if that belief is atheism or eugenics. It didn't and I think that's really important context to properly understand what the story is saying. We've got political devotion bad and religious zealotry bad with both being culturally groomed into people but not the larger context of other "cults" that aren't explicitly about power but self-improvement or belonging or even service.

----------------------

My silly pet theory is that the font is like that because we're probably never getting the two other "ones who bridge everything" of the trinity: sad worm god emperor and our man DUNC potadaho the ultimate renaissance man with a thousand lives. (As much as I'd love DUNC 8 2039: we're putting silver fox Momoa in situations again)

The dream will always be the cartoon/anime adaptation:

52 x 50-minute episodes that teeter wildly between dense political machinations, ecological exposition, that Bakshi LOTR trippy violence and even trippier visions interrupting action scenes, but most of all, near blasphemous levels of religious symbolism top to bottom, the Abramic sure, but the Buddhist, Hindu and Taoist. If they could add Paul getting a big dose of gender WTF: trill-style after being exposed to the water of life that would be amazing.

But yeah I need to get my hands on large print books - yeah yeah, the migraines will murder me regardless. I missed being in everyone's head. Like, the films are great a conveying scale but not how much it's an interpersonal drama first and foremost... for many of the side characters too.

#saf #movie reviews #dune

[indianariesolive]

Fanon vs Canon characters

(Contains spoilers, duh)

Percy Jackson:

fanon Percy: OH this is a pen guys!!! Lolz wtf am I doing again? 🤪Annabeth who? The love of my life is blue food. Omg I like, don't even know where my head is unless my smart gf points it out to me. 😅Haha

canon Percy: is actually smart, though self-deprecating and funny. Is immensely loyal & protective but has the presence of mind to quickly think his way out of a problem. Even Annabeth admits he is pretty intelligent; she simply likes to tease him like he's an idiot.(which he clearly isn't)

Wylan Van Eck:

fanon Wylan: Omg Jesper *blush* *stutters* 🥺*blushes again* oh gosh Kaz, nooo ahhhh I'm just a baby OR Yo get out of the way bitch, this is Kaz Brekker 2.0 & I'm gonna push you into the canal. 😠

canon Wylan: is very smart but insecure. Yet stands up for himself and his friends. Quite kind & modest yet develops confidence along the way. Super smart; His father is a dumb asshole for not recognizing the genius in him. Definitely a badass survivor but dosen't let his shitty circumstances knock the goodness out of him.

Nikolai Lantsov:

fanon Nikolai: Haha I'm so funny & handsome lolz 😝😏 lemme flirt *wink* ah darling I'm just here for the laughs. #partyanimal Narcissus 2.0

canon Nikolai: Funny, smart, charming & brave. Disguises his dangerously smart mind, fears & insecurities behind a well-constructed mask of easy-going charm & wit. Is also deeply patriotic & optimistic despite battling demons from all sides. Is a king through & through, even without a crown.

Jesper Fahey:

fanon Jesper: Shoot! *finger guns* *wink*😜😘 ohhhh Milo *ignores Wylan* my dearest, love of my life, aww. I'm not throwing out the goat. 🐐Haha I'm the dumb comic relief. I'm just here to be loud & funny & annoy Kaz hehe.*twirls guns*

canon Jesper: Friendly, brave, talented but also impulsive & reckless with gambling addiction. Suffers trauma, identity crisis & masks it with humor. Lowkey protective of his friends & hates to disappoint his loved ones. Likes to live in the moment. Looking for purpose in life.

Alina Starkov:

fanon Alina: ugh, so dumb, & whiny all the time. I have no personality guyzzz, besides going back & forth between Mal & Darkling. Meh, there's nothing else.

canon Alina: Snarky, sassy, insecure, also very brave & patriotic, bit of a hero complex, carries the burden of the Chosen One even though she dosen't want to solely to save her country. Is deeply in love with her best friend & is scared of losing him. Very powerful but dosen't let the greed for it overcome her & refuses to let go of her humane & compassionate side. Can be quite funny when she wants to.

Nico di Angelo:

fanon Nico: McDonald's for life. *angst* *gay* *angst* *angst* wow I'm depressed. Casually jokes of death all the time or just yells & swears.

canon Nico: Moody, depressed, used to a joyful kid but scarred by death of his sister. Also kinda angsty & powerful. Eventually overcomes his fears & learns to move on. Comes out as gay & learns to accept his identity, falls in love. Is also brave & loyal. Has a hidden soft side only a few know about. Is the Ghost King; radiates deadly authority. Speaks in a low & quite voice but still carries his point across.

Matthias Helvar:

fanon Matthias: I'm just a boring straight guy who's also misogynistic & homophobic.(insert Ch 40 joke) *Karen 2.0*  *dumb af* Being an uptight edgy prude is the only highlight of my personality. (Insert Ch 40 joke) *rolls eyes* *simps* (yet another stupid Ch 40 joke, now laugh guys, so funny haha)

canon Matthias: Big grump with a kind heart. A tragedy in childhood made him get recruited by a hateful cult. Unlearnt the bigotry & left said cult even at the cost of being branded as a traitor by his beloved country, appears cold at first but is extremely loving & tender, hella brave & wants to do the right thing. Told a misogynistic line just once then revised his opinion & started respecting the warrior sides of Nina & Inej. The only one in the group who cared for a pregnant lady. Stoic & strong, patriotic & heroic soldier, faithful & religious, believes his country can do better. Loves Nina whole-heartedly, notices Jesper & Wylan falling in love & never harbors homophobic feelings against them.

#grishaverse #six of crows #books & libraries #pjo tumblr #bookaholic #books and reading #bookstagram

[colorisbyshe]

I don't really watch anime but you have really similar taste to me in everything else so I'm wondering whether to watch naruto bc of ur blog lol

This is............... a complicated thing to answer.

Naruto is not good.

The world building starts off intriguing but falls flat on its face as you realize how fucking... insular the story is (the country/village Naruto belongs in was founded literally 2-3 generations ago, like the leader who takes over when Naruto is 13 is the grand daughter of the founder).

The morality of the story is fucking all over the place and it is EXTREMELY frustrating how much potential early Naruto's messaging has (confronting the shortfalls of founding an economy/nationstate on war, impacts of trauma, manipulation of youth, even on fighting destiny) and how much it goes exactly waht it originally set out to say.

The story gets sidelined and it spends like... 100+ chapters on a war you do not care about and has little to do with like... the actual OG story. Like... it becomes about an alien/goddess thing who was like... not at all foreshadowed. Lots of retcons happen mid story to change character dyanmics and motivations and it's clear quite a few of them were not planned.

I can't even say the charactrs are particularly good. I love Sasuke but he disappears for dozens of chapters at a time and he's not allowed to ever fully live up to his potential. Naruto's character development is killed like... early on. Women are not allowed to be half as complex as their peers. Interesting side characters are either killed off or live in another village so you barely ever see them or their lore is given in crumbs so you're never fully satisfied.

I don't think anything abotu Naruto is that unique (especially if you've read/watched any of Togashi's work like YYH/HXH but also any shounen).

But also... here I am............ 15 years later....... more than 15 years later....... still low to high key obsessed.

A lot of it is Sasuke and Naruto's arc, which is... probably less than 20% of the total series... but like... if a ship is enough to make me deal with everything else, it's gotta be pretty fucking good.

But then... part of me is like "If you didn't get into Naruto as a kid as it was coming out, don't bother, you have to be mentally bonded and shaped by the series tto enjoy it" but idk... I know people who have read it in their 20s, post completion, and got into it.

I'm the wrong person to ask because I hate that I love it. But... I've hated to love lots of things before and I dropped them all. I'm like... the queen of turning on previous passions. And Im still here.

THAT SAID... I never finished *watching* Naruto. It had too much filler (though, if you're insane and this made you want to watch it, google Naruto Kai, it cuts out the filler and flashbacks). I read the manga. I read the first ~500 chapters at least 5 times and the last 200 chapters... once (with an exception of a few chapters I mined for sasunaru content).

TO PUT IT CONCISELY:

Naruto sucks. I can't ever abandon it, it's too good. Do it for Sasunaru. Don't do it for your mental health. The anime is too fucking long, I can give you the tools to make watching it shorter. Don't watch it. Join us. Don't you wanna know wtf I'm blubbering about? Save yourself. Watch Star Trek instead for Spirk if you're just gonna watch shit for god tier soul mate (but still a choice! it's not destiny, it's a CHOICE, we were made for each other but choose everything else until we realize that everything else HURTS) content.

[rebootchill]

People who are non-South Park fans act surprised to learn that the fandom is extremely openly female online and IRL like there's just something wrong with those girls and maybe they're overly into the little boys characters in a creepy way (that's there but only in extreme tiny circles like every fandom unfortunately). I still think it's also a product of the "thing enjoyed by women = must be bad" mentality we all can perpetuate cause fem hatred comes so easily.

For me, South Park came at a time when I was having a harder time relating to my gender identity and how I was perceived by boys and even other girls. I was made to feel like I was "too girlie" for the boys but "too masculine" for the girls but I honestly cannot tell you wtf I was doing that gave these impressions. It definitely led me into nihilism, and through that, I watched many hyper-masculine or dark humor edgy stuff because I was an insecure cis-girl pushed out by other insecure cis girls. But from all that content, South Park was the one show that grounded and led me to some healthier perspectives about my sex and gender.

So I want to list why the show is feminist or at least try to explain it's pro-fem stances.

- extremely honest about the over-sexualization and grooming of young girls that society puts upon us even as minors.

-Wendy started as the girl of the group that Stan was desperate to keep in his life but never truly loved and she herself had an unhealthy obsession with toxic males around her.

To now a feminist that sets her own boundaries and prevents Stan from taking advantage of her love whenever he feels like he's emotionally empty.

-A female pedo is treated like a rapist and dies and no one feels sorry for her sake

-Misogyny in the show is exhibited only by the worst characters possible.

-Matt and Trey, I don't like to overthink about real people's personal sexualities but they definitely read as men who don't care about how people see them poking fun at their own masculinity. That takes a great level of self-confidence and some level of respect for the "opposite sex" that most cis men are unable to do.

-Wendy beats the living shit out of Cartman deservedly for mocking breast cancer and the writers take her side 100%

-Showing the complex dangers of mutual abuse between partners (something I have experienced and now thanks to the show, I have a frame of reference to understand my trauma.)

It's actually one of the few "immature" comedy shows that actually hold better lessons for young girls than most supposedly mature "women-oriented" media.

When young women see any level of display of strong female agency that actually connects with their experiences, they're going to gravitate to it. That is why the fandom is overwhelmingly female.

Now it ain't all perfect. I'm not going to justify the transphobia remotely, it's still written by cisgender men with unchecked TERFism and other outdated neo-liberal politics. These videos bring that all to light, and this youtuber Lily Simpson (and Kitty Monk) will do a better job than me explaining it.

But I also will add:

-In the games feminine gender expression is highly encouraged even if it's in the context of a joke. One of the best armor to use is any of the effeminate armors so most players end up with the best stats by making their (assumed male protagonist) fight, play, and finish the game in complete drag.

-Second game lets you literally give yourself magical sex changes at no cost. It has a very shockingly diverse list of gender identities and it treats this more matter of fact than "lol alphabet people". You can change your sex and gender infinite times throughout the whole game. And the only penalty is the bigot enemies ai's change their language when they fight you.

The point is, that all women go through their own messy self-affirming journeys to understand their place in the world, and if some found old-school feminism through a crude little show about high-pitched rude little boys navigating the hypocrisies of the adult world and finding words to their feelings. Then I believe it's a good enough start that will lead young people into better places mentally.

#this been sitting in the q for a while #princess's video definitely activated something strong #south park #media analysis #feminism #Youtube

[im-always-the-problem-its-me]

i don't know what the fuck just happened

i somehow managed to fuck up SO's birthday and feel awful. ive gotta make a big drive tomorrow night and have to fuck up my sleep schedule on purpose and with how emotionally exhausting this whole day was it's that much more difficult.

i legit started rambling, feeling very 'i'm a piece of shit, what do you want..let's make jokes about how fucked up i am while i detach emotionally when you have a breakdown' like roman fucking roy and then i even said 'i'm roman fucking roy, i don't know what you want from me'.

here's what i think happened: nutshell version because being vague is safer and i'm also tired.

SO has been depressed. i can't do shit about it. i have a bad habit when i'm overwhelmed with my own shit to be like 'let's try to just be super happy and pretend his breakdown isn't happening because i can't handle men crying on the floor because i'm used to men getting angry, yelling or worse...hitting me.' so i avoid. it's a symptom of complex PTSD apparently and also i think ptsd doesn't accurately describe what i have anymore because nothing is 'post'. this shit is happening right now and im constantly triggered because i figured out i'm still being abused and emotionally manipulated by my parents as an adult and i don't know wtf to do about it. i think im going to need therapy again. SO says he thinks he wants to go see one again too.

there's nothing wrong with our relationship. it's individually, we're both fucked up. it doesn't help i have this 'not really, but kind of' a side thing but it's not affecting things here. (im still a piece of shit because if anything its kind of an emotional affair...i dont know...feelings are fine...if i act on them then that's different...this is an old flame too and we're close, always have been...it's just an intense friendship bordering upon dangerous with flirtations but THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE)

'you never shut up' SO said to me out of anger. broke down after he said it even though i agreed even though it stung. i told him don't worry about it. it was true. i need to to not put all my shit on him. that's why i suggested therapy again.

i explained that i don't feel mad or upset by anything that happened tonight..just feel bad because yes he called me out on being emotionally detached and i have been lately because im a fucking mess. i also tend to run from everything so i even told him fuck it, we can move back because it's fine me being a mess but since he's the breadwinner, when he falls apart it's bad for both of us. i'm already on benefits because of epilepsy that's intractible. nothing I can do about that. but he needs to be ok.

he keeps looking at me like i'm nuts but dude, i've been running my whole life. i wanted to settle and stay here forever and i love this place more than any place i have ever lived but look i'm still sick here and i got issues popping up like god hates me.

i'm not even roman roy. i think because i detached instead of wearing it on my face or crying like kendall. maybe i'm a mix of both. i dunno. that show speaks to me on so many levels. i rewatched Hannibal too and i'm just like wtf. then i picked my favorite mommy issues movies to put on.

here's what i know happened: two people who love each other very much aren't doing well mentally but their relationship isn't what's making the other fucked up. it's everything else they have never dealt with making them individually fucked up and tonight it blew up. bad timing. neither of us could help each other. he got rightfully pissed. i am not upset he got pissed and the one thing he said out of anger was a very true fucking statement that put a big mirror in front of my face.

i realized too that i cannot handle a man having a breakdown. he asked why i always just walk away from him when hes like that? well because i don't know what to do with it and also what if it turns into something else and the man is going nuts on me or taking it out on me? i don't know. i'm very fucked up.

i hate victim mentality bullshit. i try not to put stuff on anyone. so i sweep it away like it's not fucking happening and i got called out on that. i don't know how to be there for him. i can't help it i have ingrained weird ideas. i try just not to be a cunt ok? and i don't know maybe i was one tonight? i don't even know. i apologized for getting loud when i did because i had my earplugs in so didn't realize how loud i was and i also hadn't eaten all day and it was making me hangry so my brain couldn't even process anything until after i ate.

a man shaking and crying on the floor because of me? (or what i perceived as being about me?) all i thought was get away from him because you're hurting him and nothing you do is going to make it better...and then it was like i felt like my mom. that's what she did. no comfort for the crying ones...just walk away until it's over. but i'm not his mommy. i'm his SO. he even said 'i don't want you to baby me or anything, just a little comfort would be nice.' he's right. but again, why are you crying in the first place? i'm selfish so i'm thinking 'wtf i'm a mess...now i have to wonder why you're a mess...wtf' and jfc no....i don't know what the fuck happened.

we need to both get some help with our issues somehow or we're not going to make it if repeats like this keep happening. i can't even call it a fight. it was more just a collective breakdown. he went to bed red eyed and mumbling. i'm up exhausted but numb af.

fucking a.

it's good i'll be gone for a day. give us both some time away just to think. well, he'll be able to anyway, ill be cramped in a car with 7 other people for 18 hours. not that i'm complaining. i've gotta do this to help out with bills and plus now i've got an obligation because my mother keeps putting shit on me and didn't even give me a chance to say no and if i don't make this trip a lot of people are out of money so im basically unable to back out even if wanted to. fuck it. i think i'll finally be able to chill next year. i'm going to make myself anyway. get through holidays. have a good time on our concert trip in january. hopefully by them my SO and i are in better places mentally too.

one hour at a time.

#life #writing #bitch im kendall roy #eldest daughter #personal #tldr im fucked up

[foxstens]

hnfhgnfg gonna talk about rain world some more

i'm listening to this guided tour video about downpour and i'm not liking the opinions in there therefore i must talk.

apparently the crafting tutorial ruins the game bc it shows that gourmand has knowledge you don't. and then the ending does the same bc it's not a surprise to him but it is to you. uhhhhh okay? but you can't really compare gourmand's campaign or personality with survivor since they're completely different therefore they of course have different goals and different knowledge

gourmand is a grown slugcat i guess, he came on an adventure from journey's end, with the intention of going back, but it's not like he's suddenly born in shaded citadel when you start his campaign lol. he probably learned crafting back home or on his way to shaded, but yea. we don't start at the start of his journey

whereas we survivor we kind of do. presumably they get washed down through facility roots and then end up in that room in outskirts, so they have no idea wtf is going on or where they are or what's waiting for them - kinda the opposite of gourmand's situation. i'd argue even the survivor has more knowledge than the player does since they probably know what they can eat due to, you know, having lived in this world until now. which the player doesn't know until the game tells you. but whatever.

anyway the point of gourmand's campaign is to be kind of a sequel to hunter and a prequel to survivor and monk, to show more of the slugcats - where they came from, how they live and all that, and to show gourmand, one of two characters in the entire story who refute the idea of ascension - the other being best boy undegrowth echo. i can see why you'd dislike that if youre so attached to the base game's message but i like seeing more sides represented in the story. in that case you should also dislike hunter's campaign since it does the same thing but eh.

i'm also expecting this person to dislike arti, spearmaster, and rivulet as well since they, too, have a completely different purpose, but i personally don't agree. like would you rather have 5 additional campaigns with the same message and same structure rather than what we actually got, which imo adds so much more to the lore and makes the message so so so so much more complex.

as a sidenote i 100% think that gourmand - spearmaster - rivulet - saint is the best order to play the downpour slugcats, with arti wherever but preferably after all of them. this is bc playing arti before spearmaster spoils most of the world changes except for moon but playing the two back to back can get a lil stale world-wise. gourmand forces you to learn so much about the game and can be a great intro to more combat-focused slugcats if you didn't play hunter previously, whereas arti might be a bit too difficult to play as the first downpour slugcat. the order above probably makes spearmaster the best experience it can be while also being a very interesting experience lore-wise especially on your first playthrough since you can't and shouldn't do them chronologically. also doing riv after spearmaster makes submerged superstructure and even bitter aerie much more poignant imo.

this person keeps going on about immersion and currently about how arti has different motivations than the player, which. okay. if you want the exact same experience as survivor then just play that jfc. it's the freaking self-insert vs full-fledged protagonist argument but with different words and im not here for it. survivor was one experience the other scugs are completely different, get the fuck over it ugh. personally as memorable as my first survivor run was it was only that because of the world, the lore, the creatures, but not at all bc of the scug since survivor is as bland as you can get

whereas the downpour scugs i can actually rank based on how much i like them personality/movement/motivations-wise, and i very much appreciate that. but that might be partly bc i hate self-inserting and because i was more interested in the lore and the overarching story as opposed to the survival-sim from the very beginning.

aaaaaaand now they say the campaigns feel the same, like the worlds as arti or gourmand aren't different enough. i'm not even gonna say anything, i just 1000000% disagree.

on a sidenote why do people not go to moon first??? sure in survivor there might not be much of a point to doing that and as hunter it's no the most optimal path but to me that's the best path. go to moon, then to pebbles, then go back to moon or ascend depending on who you're playing as. as riv making the trekk from shaded to pebbles is an amazing experience, and if you're smart and went to moon first, you can just passage back there after you get the cell. as spearmaster you'll be missing out on a lot of things if you don't go to moon first, and once again if you're smart you can just passage there. as saint the routing can be a bit more flexible but it goes very smoothly like this. oh i keep forgetting that a lot of people hate going through underhang and five pebbles... and then they wonder if they're missing out on stuff, especially on a first playthrough.... oh well, their loss :')

and now they say - bitter aerie is difficult to access as other characters and doesn't connect to other regions, therefore it ends up feeling like a story section. which apparently is bad, for some reason. okay? but it's fun. and the same could be said submerged superstructure aka one of the best area in the entire game, so should that not exist bc of this or what? this could be said for so many regions and subregions i really don't get it lmao.

oh my god while i respect this video for the effort put into it so much of it sees the game through such a game and gameplay-focused lens which imo is the wrong mindset. idk how they ended up liking survivor with this mindset but eh whatever.

hahahaha the radio broadcasts are bad bc they pause the game and 'tell' you things :) i have nothing to saaaaaaaay hearing other opinions should be fun but this isn't when i so vehemently disagree, and not just on a conceptual level but because the things this person doesn't like made the game so much more fun and emotional for me. i cried the most during spearmaster despite having been spoiled about everything previously. and now they're shitting on my favourite food aka the gooieducks. this video was made to piss me off wasn't it lmao.

well, at the very least it seems they liked saint. but did not figure out that the tongue is much better than a grapple worm hah. OH AND NOW APPARENTLY THE BEST ECHO IS ALSO A HYPOCRITE. i mean this person did say they're not one to speculate on the lore which explains some things but not all ancients ascended successfully or willingly, it says so somewhere so like.

'rain world was a machine built for survivor's journey' what the fuck is this. where the fuck does hunter fit into that. where does monk fit into that. what the heck. the lore existed way before downpour wtf is thissssssss lmao i've never heard a worse take. IF YOU LIKE SURVIVOR THAT MUCH JUST PLAY THAT UGHHHHHHH.

but like i keep saying and preaching and saying, this game is a sad post-utopic sci-fi story with buddhist elements masquerading as a rat in manhattan sim, not the other way around. oh but they don't even mention buddhism in this 2 hr long video so idk what im expecting. and its not like you have to be an expert in buddhism to see it, i know barely anything about it and even i saw it. oh. but according to this person the lore has no inherent value. me and this person are on actually opposing wavelengths lmao. anyway i guess there's people out there with these opinions. cool. i am now tired.

now for some positive closing thoughts, i wanna make a tier list of the slugcats. i've been thinking about it for a long time and i think i have a definitive list, at least for now.

s tier: spearmaster, gourmand

a tier: rivulet, saint

b tier: survivor

c tier: artificer,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, hunter

you'd think riv would also be s tier but i just love gourmand os much and with riv i'm zooming all over the place which is extremely fun and riv is extremely adorable and i love her but... the chonk is so powerful... idk i just love playing as gourmand i love his story i love his mechanics i love love love him

yea i know i said survivor is the blandest but they were still my introduction and they're probably the best to play as for a lot of general stuff, and i just like them more than the other two eh.

as for arti, i really like her story i really really like it and metropolis is hnfhgnf but i don't like explosives and i don't like fighting scavs, therefore im gonna have to use a mod to even get through her campaign. as for hunter, i like the lore and i love pebbles in their campaign but so hard. and honestly the most boring combat scug...

#my posts #gameblogging #liveblogging rain world #read more #long post #lmao this got so long

[keyofshadows]

I'm rapidly turning into the bitchy old lady on the block that wants kids to stop screaming and get off my fucking lawn. I'm starting to be okay with it. 🤬

#rl #this is the second night in a row #at roughly the same time #the same group of small kids come out unattended into the PARKING LOT and jump around screaming #they're five feet from the apartment windows #I called the office last night but the after hours service said they couldn't send security #just call the cops #so nothing happened #I still don't think we're cop level #but I have a pic from last night and today #I'm going into the office tomorrow to complain #we have a playground here and tons of open grassy space #there is absolutely no reason for them to be out here #oh did I mention they did this same shit about six months ago #for a whole week #early enough in the day that security did come #I don't even think they live on this side of the complex wtf #autism spectrum disorder #actually autistic

[katefatale]

I have learned not to look at Talia-related stuff on less curated platforms off of Tumblr because it devolves into pitting her and Selina against each other as mother figures as if stepparents don't exist. Since I'm not currently caught up, I can't tell if this is something the writers are encouraging or it's it's just Fandom Bullshit (TM). This isn't a comment on Brutalia or BatCat, just a comment on the fact that, if we have a narrative in which a man loves or has loved two women and remains at least somewhat close to them and there is a child involved, then there will likely be a complex (and potentially rich) relationship between the child and these women. Talia is not a bad mother. She loves her son. Even when she can't presently be with him, it has been clear in the narratives that have resonated most with her fans that she loves him. And Selina has every right to care about Damian, who, in BatCat settings, is the child of her partner. These things can exist simultaneously. They are both figures in his life. It's not the goddamn Thunderdome, nor should it be.

Showing my old age here but when you're at an age where you or many of the people you know are step-parenting, this debate looks very... inexperienced? naive? Or, if it's the writers doing it, just shitty. These familial relationships that have caused such a blow-up in the fandom and have resulted in a lot of racist and misogynistic discourse are, once you hit a certain age, often the norm. I shudder to think of what some of the debaters I've seen elsewhere would say about one side of my family, which has never drawn a line between biological, adoptive, or step- familial relationships. (I couldn't even tell you which parent of the household is a biological parent and which is a stepparent, who lives here and who's just visiting, half the time.)

This isn't the big rant sitting in my drafts, and I think I'm only actually posting it to weigh in because I can easily imagine folks who are or who have stepparents being really hurt by this discourse.

(Of course, I tell myself this is why I keep to this more curated platform, but I know I'm going to go lurk on the other ones for my wtf fix. This is the problem of being both a fan and a fandom scholar: I just have to see what everyone's talking about.)

EDIT: for clarification, this is NOT a dig at anyone here or the pro-mom!Talia folks whose tweets are making rounds currently. It's a dig at loud people in the fandom spread across the internet who are incapable of seeing Talia or Selina as dynamic, evolving characters faced with a complex situation involving a child.

#old person wading into the discourse against their better judgment #honestly I love Talia and Selina as members of the family at the same time #it's canon that Talia respects Selina #it's canon that Selina acknowledges Talia's role in Bruce's life #it's canon that they are both aware of and often tired of his shit #if you see me entering this debate off Tumblr please smack me

[testingcheats0n]

One of my favorite bleach fanfiction from a long time ago was this one unfinished oneshot where Ichigo and Grimmjow fall through a Garganta and end up somewhere in america. They're stranded and without powers for plot ofc, but the main premise was that Grimmjow went 'wtf, what is this strange language and where are we?' And Ichigo went like 'oh goddamn it we're on the other side of the world with no way out and my English is terrible!' And Grimm is obviously kinda... surprised? Because it defies everything he knew of the Living world, while Ichigo sees it as normal-ish.

Which... makes sense, you know? 'Cause Grimmjow wouldn't remeber his past life in the living world, so essentially he thinks that the entirety of humanity solely exists in Karakura town, a small city in the middle of Nowhere, Japan and the most he knows is from Barragan probably, who was alive when we were discovering iron or something. The concept of countries, different climates, languages, cultures, even appearances and fashion would be alien to someone who 1. Lived in a desert for hundreds of years and 2. Believes he's inherently superior than the people he will be surrounded with for the forseeable future, which will be defied as he is thrown into the complexities of the real world.

I think that in ignorance is something that makes him indifferent to Aizen's whole shebang- him and the rest of the espada ofc. Not that it would change their minds or anything, it's just that there is SO MUCH to humanity that both Arrancar and Shinigami just... don't know (or at least it's implied! Ask yourself, would Urahara know what are physics? Kubo certainly didn't tell us! The same with the Gotei, are they aware that Europe exists? They know of the other branches, but do they understand why and how do they operate?)- it certainly would change the way they see humans.

Normally in "Grimmjow-is-stuck-in-the-real-world-because-he-lost-his-powers" fics, he's kinda just chilling and being completely human despite living as a literal cat in limbo for eons, so it was a nice break.

Idk, I can't find the fic anymore and it only had one chapter. Maybe I should take the idea and write something.

#bleach #ichigo kurosaki #grimmjow jaegerjaquez

[roublardise]

2, 6, 9 and 14 for the Sapphicnatural ask! <3

thank you ally!!! 💖

2. favourite rarepair?

oh god... ok i think i have to say Amara/Mary 🥺 it's just. like it was actually a surprise to me to come to see them as such a compelling ship? i started writing my Mary fic and i knew i wanted to explore this thing with Amara bringing her back and both of their pov, and it ended up.... just making so much sense to have them together. i let the story took me and it took me there!

some destiel parallels appeared, and this complex dynamic of i hate you/i owe you/i want to hate you/i love you... like from both sides it's sooo interesting. also love that Mary was, in a way and for so long, the og mother, and Amara is the og woman. and they're both actually not that and way more than that.... VS Rowena who is introduced as neither a mother (she has a son but she's not a Mother you know), nor a woman like others. these three live in my head. someday i will write smth specific for them

6. tell me the BEST spn femslash fanfic you've ever read

is this when i out myself as "i don't read many fics besides destiel i'm so sorry sapphics"...? 😭😭 i have a few one-shots marked for later but i still haven't got into it.

i MEANT to read one last night to have an answer to this question but i'm brain dead. specifically there's a Jody/Mary one who seems super interesting, been wanting to get into it for weeks, it's called neatly-labelled leftovers.

so i'm taking this opportunity to promote your Ambriel/Anna fics 💕 they're very cute, we stan rarepairs, and Ambriel truly deserves to come back & get a gf thank you for your service 🙏

9. post or link me your favourite spn femslash creation made by you

ok so i'm starting to run out of sapphic content i made 😂 thanks god for sapphicnatural week!! i have cool things planned 🤭

i still have a few left, so for you i've picked this little amv i made, the concept was to have like, a "phone video dump" from Claire's phone, and it's only some very domestic-daily life shots of Kaia

i did one from Kaia's phone as well, but this one is way more underrated. i liked to think of Claire picking the habit of filming from Kaia, except Claire would like... do it with less skills, more randomly, and so would end up with these awkward framings. like it would start as a way to make fun of Kaia's habit (affectionate) but she would enjoy it. so the editing is Like That on purpose. i had sooo much fun working on these two videos, trying to show some personality behind the shots ; to make it less "professional" ; working on a new size ; and it was one of my first attempts at coloring that much. picked the colors directly from the lesbian flag ✨

14. favourite female character you wish we'd seen more of?

you know what it's time to talk about her: AMARA. she's one of my ultimate fav character on the show, even tho canonically she's like, 75% lost potential and she's good mostly in my head i think 😭 but EXACTLY i wish she was there more, so we could get to know her better and know her outside of chuck's arcs!! she deserved to be her own character, and god truly s15 Amara was a gift but at what cost (the cost was not knowing wtf even happened to her exactly).

if i get into specific, i even wish we've seen more of teenager Amara!!!! it was sooo interesting to see her growth, the way her behavior is truly like a child, and she's discovering the world... it's such a cool idea to have this character who's older than everything but who is a bby in this world, learning how it works, its rules, its beauty.... the way at first she only sees suffering, but then learn to love it. but they ruined it by sexualizing her they literally put a (ugly) black dress on her character and let that hide everything she was offering & telling. and that's how a lot of viewers see her as well!!!! i hate it. bc yeh, she's way more developped in my head, but already in canon there is A LOT but people never read into her bc they think she's here to be a love interest and try to make Dean evil but NO!!! that's literally the narrative chuck's portraying!! anyway this wasn't supposed to be a rant over the misundertanding of Amara....

sapphicnatural ask

#thank you again for the questions!! #and sorry i took forever to reply truly typical me to ask for asks and then get busy with other stuff #sapphicnatural #spn #ask game