#I don’t even know why I’m sharing

[candy-fae]

IiiiIIIIIIIIITS MY BIRTHDAY!

I’m. Having a not great birthday!!

But I am a year older today none the less, and will try to get my hands on some cake, and try to have a good time.

Please send me some art requests, perFERRABLLY of blorbos. Or ponies. Or like. My ocs. I wanna talk about my little guys on my birthday.

#I don’t even know why I’m sharing #might delete! #I’m 23 today #home alone #and my mom called to tell me she wants me to move and uproot my life #told me #actually #because I’m moving back in with her in February but my brother told me she kept it a secret until I had no other options #so #yeah #she tricked me #again #I love her so much but she’s so manipulative and sneaky #I just wanted to hear happy birthday #like you could have stopped there #delete later #love love love her saying none of my friends would stick around if I needed help but SHE would #she’s always the only one I can rely on #obviously #she always has been right #so. yeah. guess I’ll just do that since instead of being honest she took MONTHS away from me where I could have been looking for a roomate #vent #it’s my blog and I’ll post and delete as I please ig

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What Is Masking?

Mrs Speechie Pi

#autism #actually autistic #autism awareness month #autism acceptence month #masking #why we mask #examples of masking #masking affects both children AND adults #making can be exhausting #I’ve masked for so long that I don’t even know who I am #I’m sure some of you can relate #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Mrs Speechie Pi (Facebook)

[betterthanbatman1]

Umm I love them???

#SHE WAITED FOR HIM FOR 4 HOURS ON TOP OF THEIR MEET UP SPOT #THEIR MEET UP SPOT IS BIG BELLY BURGER AHHHH #I didn’t really ship jayrose too much before #but I’ve been scrolling down their hashtag and I love them so much #Die hard Rose fans will say they don’t belong together and Rose shouldn’t be reduced as a character for Jason’s benefit #Yeah I completely understand and mostly agree with you. #Mostly. So for now I’m just going to enjoy me some good soft Jayrose content :) #I absolutely think Rose should NOT be reduced as a character but I have to say they are v cute together #The “Promise?’’ “Promise.’’ made my heart flutter I don’t even know why 😭 #I’m a sucker for couples who care about each other like this #She could have just left it at ‘be careful’ #But no Jason had to promise her that he will come back to her #It’s just. So. Damn. Good #IM DYING OVER THEM FR #You know they’d die for each other and make jokes about death and daddy issues #And with their shared use of ✨violence✨ #And just generally become THE power couple #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #dc #dc comics #Ravager #Rose Wilson #Jayrose #Jason x Rose #holy queue batman #red rambles

[alarrylarrie]

.

#people are gonna be big mad when I say this so I’m hiding it in tags #lmao if you’re still a Ziam I love you I respect you and just… stop reading now lol for your health okay? #or unfollow and block me whatever just… CURATE YOUR EXPERIENCE IS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY #but the DIFFERENCE between how Zayn talks about his daughter #versus…. well I mean do I even have to say it lmao #I’m watching the Zach Sang interview and it is freaking WILD #W I L D #and I just think people should maybe use critical thinking skills and wonder why that is #and! and! Zayn and Gigi have done a fabulous job drawing boundaries about what they will and won’t share #so don’t come at me with oh but Louis needs to be private #or some of that nonsense #because at no point does Zayn say things that really cross that line? #he just…. he talks like an actual dad #and I’m sorry I know no one cares and we’re in this and it doesn’t matter #but the difference - if someone actually cared to look and listen? #the difference is astonishing in my opinion #anyway #ignore this lol

[quibbs126]

So I heard a leak about the new Cookie from the Mystic Flour story, the one with the peach

I guess if you don’t want to hear it, I’ll put it under the cut. It’s pretty minor though, it has nothing to do with the story, just something basic about the character

It included the name, but that’s not the most interesting part to me, since to me it seems pretty obvious with their design

No actually the more interesting thing I heard is that this Cookie is in fact a guy, which fully surprised me

We technically don’t have confirmation, and it could be wrong, but honestly I really hope it’s true, if only because it’d be surprising given the design

And also if it’s true, then this’ll be twice where with a Dark Cacao related character, I mistook them for female on account of the design, but later find out they are men. Just thought that was funny

Oh yeah, this is the original leak I saw btw. While as I said, the leak isn’t confirmed, I also as of yet haven’t heard anything to disprove it either

#I just felt like sharing because why not #I heard another one but I won’t say that one #I do feel like maybe I shouldn’t post leaks here particularly on the main tag #but I mean I do it because I get excited and want to tell people #and especially as I’m in summer I don’t have anyone else to yell about it to #and also I like giving my thoughts and tumblr’s format works better for that for me #and also even if I stop I know others will post them #though I do wonder if I caused some of that since I recall it not being as prevalent when I joined #I don’t know #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #new cookie #crk leaks #cookie run leaks #peach blossom cookie

[tariah23]

Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work #like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like #their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’ #rambling #I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running #referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh #zines make me feel so anxious man #it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward… #another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail #and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either… #they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing #their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks #we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks #it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk #they were the mod for the zine too #I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to #there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro #i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway #I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed #I #Guess it didn’t make its money back #or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book #I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free #if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free

[tricoufamily]

u don't have to answer this bc i think u just deleted it but who tf is vaguing you... you're a fantastic artist making beautiful beautiful pieces of art and i am constantly in awe of the things you're creating. i barely play the sims anymore let alone participate in the community at all but i have you on notifs forever and ever bc of your storytelling and skill. i am genuinely shocked to see someone talking shit bc i don't even knwo what it wld be about. anyway i keep coming back to look at ur recent edit and it's so tender and evokes such a comforting quiet feeling. anyway. u can ignore me or delete this like i said i just want u to know u've got ppl out in the crowd rooting for u byeee

imagine me crying…..

thank you so much, genuinely. i don’t even know how to accept this properly to show my level of appreciation. this means so much to me.

just gotta remind myself i am a real artist and writer and no one can take it from me. i have talent!!! suck it!!!

#it’s honestly not even a big deal like it’s stupid but i’ve just got so much going on that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back lol #any other time i would have laughed it off and Le Epically Own this person but. man. i’m still crying #it’s a culmination!! i suppose #i don’t know if this person knew how much it would hurt me but it’s still a shitty thing to do regardless #like i don’t know why you couldn’t just share your opinion without attacking me as a person? whatever! #i’ll feel better in the morning i just can’t sleep bc of it is the problem lmfao #and tomorrow is going to be a Bad Day also which is. #btchwzrd #ask

[goldensunset]

now that my sisters are hooked on playstation gaming bc they got to try it for a bit i’m like guuuuys if we all pool our money we could invest in a ps5 together… (they want to play the fanciest most realistic games from this decade and i want to play a clunky series that’s older than me)

#y’know that one gag headline #‘huge [game series] fan excited to finally play it’ #yeah for those of you who don’t know. i’m a switch only gamer i don’t even have kingdom hearts #i’ve played part of some of the console games at riya’s house but the rest is all lore osmosis bc i refuse to sit through a playthrough #that’s part of why i don’t talk about the ‘main’ games that much lol #only for the subject matter i’m actually confident in #of course i’ve watched lots of the cutscenes from lots of the games #but never in full #just here and there #peach rambles #i know a ps4 would be relatively cheap at this point and still be great #but my concern tbh is that kh4 will be a ps5 exclusive #or otherwise that the ps4 would explode or whatever #i know it’s still better hardware than a switch but. it would seem worth it to invest in a next gen console #especially if i’m only paying part of the cost #i think my sisters being in on playstation gaming might be a game changer bc i really do not need or want one myself just for kh #that’s a ton of money for something that simple #and it’s not a mobile console so i wouldn’t drag it to school anyway #so like. i wouldn’t mind sharing it with my sisters at home

[pogasm]

i think. i’ve interacted with so many older homophobic nigerians that if i don’t make friends with queer nigerians my age i may become xenophobic to my own people

#like they fucked me up so bad that i’m scared to talk to nigerians now like what #that’s crazy these are my people!! why am i more accepting to other black ppl and not the ones i share a culture and a country with!!! #like i’m nigerian i love being nigerian but ive been surrounded by nigerian boomers in diaspora #like i don’t know ANY nigerian my age!! that’s bad!! #well actually john is nigerian but he pissed me off so bad i don’t even wanna know him #john is the guy i went on a date with that pissed me off btw #also he was born here and i’m mourning the cultural connection so i wouldn’t even get that from him

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes

[calico-kiwi]

gave my number out to someone (god i wish i’d come up with a good reason to say no) and reeeaaaaaalllllllyyy wish i hadn’t but wouldn’t dare make the social faux pas of ghosting them because that’s mean and also i see him almost every day of the week

#kiwi shares their thoughts #he’s so… chatty #i have 0 things against him #but i NEVER have the energy to full heartedly interact with him whenever he tries to talking to me #and he’s just so exhausting to me for some reason #i don’t vibe with him enough to talk this often dude #there’s only a small group of people who don’t drain my social battery when i interact with them #and several people who don’t drain it as bad #but idk man this dude saps all my fucking energy and tests my patience but i don’t know why because he’s literally fine #the amount of times i have been THIS CLOSE to just… deleting the contact #if only i didn’t see him basically every day #i feel bad he wants to be my friend but it’s like he’s running and i feel like i’m being dragged when i’d prefer if we were just walking #anyone got tips on how to gently tell someone to calm down and fuck off #like can i put a text limiter on him #also i don’t know if it’s normal to him but he texted me “good morning” #bitch what #we literally are forced to see each other in like 2 hours the hell you mean good morning just fucking wait dude #my BEST FRIENDS AND I don’t even exchange good morning texts #that’s too much for me w someone who quite frankly is essentially a rando to me besides his name #anyways

[goldfyshie927]

.

#second hand embarrassment time #I opened up to my ex friend about my trauma around friendships because of what happened with my ex #and for some reason ex friend interpreted that as me insinuating that I was worried my wife would fall in love with her? #and I’m sorry but what???? #I was shocked she thought she was at all my wife’s type in the first place #let alone someone who my wife could fall in love with #I didn’t even know what to say #also what a weird reach? #like damn okay you’ve got some real confidence don’t you #anyway I was like cringing the whole time and told my wife #and he was like why would she think that? why would she think she compares to you in any way? #also my ex friend def had a crush on my wife looking back now #not gonna happen girly pop #for the record my ex didn’t fall in love with one of my friends so I truly don’t know how she got that from what I shared #personal post

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

ok ok so you know how my life has majorly revolved around my pain since july & how that has been extremely difficult :) well lately I find myself getting up later than I want to & making my bed as badly as I possibly can & getting out of the house after noon when I planned to get out in the morning & walking to the library when it’s sunny & sitting there for hours & the whole time I’m most concerned with writing & that it’s incredible what I’m doing, it’s a little paradise

#you know how I hoped September would be kind to me well it delivered #I actually didn’t realize how mentally poorly I was doing until I got out of it ! #like oooooof it’s like a chronic pain veil #& to be very honest it’s because I’m physically better so I cannot blame myself and I don’t lol bc there will be a time when that happens #<< again #I mean better loosely I just mean I haven’t had 8/10 pain every day for weeks LOLLL #but it’s really quiet and beautiful & im grateful !!! like yay I can still create ! #I’m not thinking abt my pain 95% of the day now it’s probably about 40%? 50? so a lot but I’m literally not every single thought LOL #sometimes it’s even like 20! not even cuz anything is getting better bc it’s not but I will take it even if idk why!!! #(& by nothing is getting better I mean meaningfully better but I have been blessed with some good days lately which I had none #of all summer) #I say this bc every day I wake up and immediately think OH GOD MY PAIN which is so valid bc it’s awful in the morning getting up is like #falling into a black hole Lol but also while that thought is still there I also thought #wow I’m so excited to write today I’m so excited to see what Jeremiah does #HE IS THE NARRATOR OF HEALING #also like SOOO PRIVILEGED to be able to do this like I also wanted to say that! #anyway update for u since I know I have shared the Despair but none of the beauty yet lol #lots of love chronic illness/pain bbs <3

[pumpking64]

.

#Jesus fucking Christ #why do some people just. not see the mess they’re making and acknowledge that it’s their responsibility to clean up after themselves?? #like. you throw your shoes in the entrance exactly where people walk. you let shared loafers stand outside for several hours #you cook the most simple dinner that one time you cook (mind you the other people have equal shares of making food) #and yet you don’t even manage to clean up after neither the cooking NOR taking the food off the table into the fridge so it doesn’t turn bad #you keep on taking the most easy solution that fits you the best without thinking about others. in a space where we all are exhausted #and I’m so done with it for now tbh. how lazy to not care about the bare necessities for others. how rude to admit to it #AND on top of this. you’ll tell stuff about your country that’s *objectively horrifying* and then add on to that that you love your country #it’s just. so many things. are so so so much of what I’d avoid in a person. a few things is fine. no one’s perfect. but damn there’s a limit #SORRY to anyone who’s read this far but I just. had to get it out #this guy is the one I’m working the closest with these two and a half weeks. hes still a kid kind of. I’m not gonna be mean to him #but damn. my patience. is being tested #AHHH I might delete this tbh. I don’t like showing this side of myself. I don’t want to spread this kind of negativity #I’m just so very frustrated. how a human person can come to this place and be here for SO LONG already #and still not have learnt the basics of living and working together #own post #oh. and all the triggering of intrusive thoughts is not helping your case buddy #(which you can’t really know about so it’s kinda fair but also it’s for bad hygiene stuff mostly and that’s. I mean…..)

[theamazingannie]

Kinda crazy how people will call out celebrities for not speaking up on political issues and then a celebrity WILL speak up on that political issue but doesn’t do it in exactly the way these people want so they’ll call THEM out too and it’s like why tf would anyone want to do anything these days if every action they take gets them called out???

#specifically referencing Annie Lennox this time but I’ve seen it so many times just on this issue alone #she called for a ceasefire at the fucking Grammys and all pro Palestine people praised her #and then she made a non aggressive post about it on Twitter that still called for ceasefire but didn’t praise hamas #and people are shaming her and calling her a coward #another time I read someone say Bella Ramsay signed the hostage release letter right after Oct 7 #but has since been outspoken about pro Palestine #but that that’s not enough and they’re still bad for doing that first thing #when they’re an actor not an activist and nobody really understood what was going on back then #like this is exactly why I won’t be one of the people calling on celebrities to be posting on every issue #cuz even people more well informed are called out for being wrong about stuff #I’ve been following this issue since 2019 and I still don’t feel fully comfortable doing more than sharing stuff from better informed people #cand calling out hypocracies and bad arguements (something I studied in college) #I can’t expect someone who didn’t know anything before four months ago and doesn’t actively follow it now #to feel comfortable taking a strong side on an issue where no matter what you do you’re gonna get death threats from SOMEONE #pro Israel pro Palestine neural stance silence #every single choice makes people mad at you so it’s really safer to go with the last #this isn’t ‘register to vote’ or ‘this issue directly affects me and I’m therefore better informed so I’ll talk about it’ #this is an extremely hot button sensitive issue #and I’m tired of people acting like social media activism is where we should start and end #call our your politicians not your actors and singers for gods sake