#I don’t even know shit anymore

[lovebeing-a-girl]

almost cried mid-exam bcs I couldn’t remember one answer:)

#it was legit for two marks #and I cried #I don’t even know shit anymore #girlblogger #girlblogging #this is what makes us girls #just girly things #girlhood #love being a girl #hell is a teenage girl #aesthetic #soft girl #this is a girlblog

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i use dissociation more than anything i’ve ever learned in my 10yrs of therapy

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #dissociation is my favorite coping mechanism #that and avoidance #i love avoiding my problems until i can’t take it anymore and have a full blown breakdown about it #it’s easier to go through life ignoring everything that’s bothering you until it all just explodes one day #idk maybe that’s just me tho #right after every breakdown i feel like shit tho cuz i usually freak out everyone around me but i don’t know how else to cope #even tho i’ve had 10yrs of therapy nothing else worked for me #so dissociation it is babyyyy

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally wrote a few thousand words of Arthur Pendragon x Finding Nemo’s dad, I’d have two nickels.

Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Grammarly hates me. I quit.

#marlin finding nemo #arthur pendragon #merlin #bbc merlin #i don’t know how to tag this #shit post #merthur #sort of #ao3 fanfic #if i had a nickel #why am i like this #i’m too tired for this #autocorrect #i quit #A’s and e’s don’t exist anymore #is merlin even a real word? #this is why I don’t have a beta reader #I’d feel bad for making them put up with my shit #I just wrote 3 and a half chapters of king x fish #but hey at least it wasn’t 12k words this time. #fucking hell

[sinistersuns]

I hope more people who feel they’re leftists begin to realize that genuinely hating men AND/OR immediately assuming a man (or someone you perceive as a man) you don’t know is out to harm you is t3rf behavior. This belief will not keep you safe, it’s meant to isolate you and put the marginalized men around you in danger. Hating men will not do shit to the bigoted cishet white men in power, but it’ll tell the marginalized men around you that they aren’t welcome around you. This extends to anyone who looks like cis society’s idea of a man, but isn’t actually one, too - do y’all really think trans people of ANY gender say “okay I’m x gender now” and are immediately treated like that gender by society as a whole? Do you think your fear of anyone with facial hair and a deep voice will stop at dangerous cis men, and that only dangerous cis men have those traits? And I’m specifying DANGEROUS cis men because cis men as a group aren’t inherently dangerous. The way someone looks or identifies says nothing about whether they’re “safe” or not! I thought we fucking learned this!!

#I’m tired of being looked at like I’m a danger and I’m tired of nonpassing transfems being looked at like they’re dangerous #I can’t trust anyone who says they ‘hate men’ because I genuinely don’t know if y’all are joking or not anymore #I used to be someone who genuinely hated cis men because of how I’d been treated by them. but I cut that shit out when I realized how terfy #it is. and beyond that it isn’t fair to cis men as a whole and especially not marginalized cis men #having compassion for a group of people who’ve hurt or even traumatized you is hard. but you have to do it or you’re going to fall into #some form of bigotry that will only hurt the people you claim to support #TO BE CLEAR. ‘a group of people who hurt you’ doesn’t refer to bigoted groups like transphobes or racists etc etc #I’m specifically talking about neutral identities like gender #bigots can go die #transphobia #transmascphobia #transmisogyny #transgender #trans

[kierancaz]

I wish we got more of Legolas being weird in the movies. Like I haven’t read the books yet but I love the way the fandom describes him as being a little shit and like actually really fucking weird and I just wish we got more of that and also that it came across more in fanfics.

#lotr #lord of the rings #like pls I love love love all the Legolas fics I’ve read but also I wish they acknowledged how much of an apparent weirdo little freak #one post I read says that he would just stare into the woods and said goodbye to a river and I just ???? #In the movies he’s cool #and in the hobbit he’s kinda mean but still hot so I excuse it #in lotr I think he had most of this sass cut but then again I haven’t read the books so idk #but I wish in fanfics there was more of him being a weirdo instead of like a romantic #he is a weirdo and a shit and I love him and I don’t even know anymore #I need big dumbo dummy Legolas idk what to say #enough ranting #the hobbit #gandalf the grey #legolas x reader #legolas x y/n #legolas fic #legolas lotr #lotr legolas #legolas

[why-the-heck-not]

Starting to almost wish I could just go do this fucking presentation today solely bc I’m getting mad and tired of the anxiety, how is it physically possible to be this anxious for so many days straight. There has to be a limit how long u can be on the verge of an anxiety attack like ????

#it’s stupid #cant sleep cant eat over ’’ppl are paying attention to me for 20minutes or so’’ #i hate this so so much #bc like I KNOW it’s overreacting and unreasonable and it never is as bad as I think but knowing that won’t do shit for the anxiety #like it will he here until I’m back home tmrw after having presented it #at least it’s only like a day of this anymore but I don’t have the energy for this for even one more goddamn minute #literally what could happen in that presentation that would be worse than feeling like this?? #the realistic worst case possible is that I lose my train of thought or have a ’’brain doesnt work’’ moment and have to take like 20secs to #gather myself and like maybe if someone asks a question I don’t have an answer to #but like I won’t die or anything #even if it’d be awkward (it will be awkward) that’s legit nothing #I’m ’’just some guy’’ to the ppl and after leaving the building they’ll never think abt my stupid ass presentation again #so wHY cant I fucking chill #april 2024 #2024

[starlooove]

Ppl will say fanon v canon doesn’t matter and it’s all jokes and I’m sooooo close to going sure sometimes and then I remember y’all removed a major role of one of the if not THEE most prominent black character in Bruce’s story who was created a whole decade before tim and gave it to tim based off a run where he literally handed the role back! Like IN THE COMIC Tim was CEO in name only and handed it back to Lucius relieved when he didn’t need to front anymore like.

#also if I said y’all took a lot of what tam does and her character traits and handed them off to tim…. #like from that run #it’s crazy bc I always say that’s like the only comic tim stans read #but if that’s true the racism isn’t even covert anymore el oh el #tim Drake #it’s actually about him this time #I’m not gonna clog Lucius or tam tags any further tho #oh and on the tam note #her quick thing and sheer insanity was seen as naivety from tim even tho it saved his ass quite a few times #mainly that Vicki vale shit #which is hung up on LUCIUS’ wall #bc it’s HIS office #bc HE is the CEO. #I think it’s so funny how Bruce quest was like unreliable narrator knows their unreliable and thinks that knowledge means that everything t #they say is true bc they acknowledge that maybe they’re not thinking healthily #which is so fucking fun #but y’all go ‘yesss this is Tim!’ #like no! it’s not! and tim knows that! and he’s too high strung to be pissed or scared about it! #AND THAT IS WHAT SHOULDVE HAPPENED NEXT #IK cómics don’t like to acknowledge that kinda trauma and shit #but something going deep into Tim’s mental state at the time and how he was impacted in daily and personal life #(bc instead of black characters being written out and ignored I’m choosing to believe tam distanced herself bc he was such a Dick) #Like that would’ve been craaaazy #like even tims lack luster reaction at seeing Kon in Paris after he was DEAD #And then later having the emotional reaction like he really kept that shit on the backburner #but noooo he’s so badass and a killer 🥺 #anyways justice for the fox family #at least for Lucius like he and cyborg are in the same boat for me #where they’ve been around for so long and have been so important (cyborg on a waaaay wider scale) #that the fact that they don’t get their flowers in favor of making shit up for tim is SICK

[clownjacket]

If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.

#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream #Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right? #She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name #Brennan literally rolled #and we know she was in Porter’s office #so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it #Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene #Which one of the RGs has invisibility? #HMMMM #Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP #know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple #Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity??? #We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive #knew her name #Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right? #And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore #But #Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her #domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain #And idk #A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex #who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life #One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids #and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death #that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it #especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back #especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter #Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna #Please world let me have this I’m on my knees #dimension 20

[wayward-sherlock]

thinking abt how someone’s gonna die next season but all of the characters have such complex relationships with each other that no matter what it’s going to hurt real fucking bad.

#steve dies : dustin and robin and nancy fucking lose it #max dies : lucas is a shell of himself. el has no strong female friends in her life anymore. steve loses a sister. erica loses her brother. #dustin dies : og party is gone. steve loses his little brother. robin gets left with whatever steve still has after grieving #will dies : not even going there. he’s not dying. #el dies : she’s not dying. she’s not #mike dies : where do i even start. where do i even start. nancy thinks she’s not good enough to keep anyone important to her alive. - #- jonathan loses pieces of nancy and will. will loses…he loses a huge fucking part of himself. el loses her first love and a friend. lucas.. #nancy. jonathan. lucas. robin. erica. even argyle. #any of them die and everyone else is gonna go insane with grief. #plus the grief of losing something that defined their early years? that shit’s hard #feeling like they lost their entire childhood to this realm of monsters but missing it when it’s gone because they don’t know how to live - #- normal lives anymore. how do they move on? how do they continue in a world that’s indifferent and ignorant to their sacrifice? #sigh. #stranger things #st5 #wayli goes insane #wayli’s feeling sad today. sorry guys. #🫧🪴 #🚲

[owtenen]

nothing makes me click faster on a hermit that i don’t watch’s video than a clickbait etho title and thumbnail. you know what you’re doing and by god it works so well. i will watch the entire video just for one second of ethoslab content, especially if it’s just him bein a lil silly. like yes, clickbait is arguably wrong and bad, but slap a nameMC photo of etho on your thumbnail and shit, i’m gettin out my snacks cause i’m all in

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft s9 #ethoslab #etho #i know i am part of the problem #okay but with that said #the washed up shit is lowkey just like #beating a dead horse at this point #like it’s not even that funny anymore unless someone who hasn’t said it yet says it #like when xB said it i laughed so hard #but idk it feels overplayed #like don’t get me wrong it was super funny and i loved every second of it #but now it just feels overdone #yaknow? #pls someone tell me i am not crazy

[dreamsb0u]

Sometimes I wish my “friends” or whatever who ghosted me would talk to me again just so I could bite their fucking heads off

#rant #Tw rant #vent #vent tw #in tags #like you fucking said you were going on a mental health break and that’s fine but after WEEKS of radio silence I check on you #and you’ve fucking BLOCKED me???? #like what the fuck is wrong with you #this has happened multiple times and I think it’s justified that I’m fucking angry #they KNOW I have abandonment issues and they don’t even give me a notice they don’t tell me what I did wrong #I’m so fucking tired of this shit #I’ve tried to be supportive but all they ever do is fucking toss me to the side #I’m not sorry #I can’t even look at half of my sketchbook anymore because it’s stuff I made for them #I wouldn’t say that letting your friends know why you’re leaving them is a lot to ask #but hey maybe I’m the one in the wrong here #and I’m even angrier because I don’t hate them #I can’t really #but I’m so fucking mad #I don’t want any hug emojis I get that you’re trying to help but I’m really not in the fucking mood #I think I only have like two friends I can trust

[gayvampyr]

im about to just submit my hw like this

#im not playin anymore #🤏 close to telling my profs their assignments are bullshit and walking #my persuasive speech can effectively be summed up by ‘​i don’t know how to convince you that you should care about other people’ #maybe i should pick a different topic just so these will be easier lmao #but fr like i just can’t refute this shit. i don’t even want to entertain any bullshit arguments cuz they’re bs lol

[thefirstlioveyou]

.

#i don’t post much on the tag anymore specifcally because of assholes who get mad at you for enjoying what you wanna enjoy #or posting what you wanna post #and people who don’t know how to not engage with things they don’t like #its not even bylers who ruined it for me lmao #‘its not the byler show!’ no youre correct but this IS the byler tag #i love the show and everything about it #i love theories that arent just byler #but some people’s favorite thing about the show is byler and THATS OKAY #youll be okay #ive seen stupid shit on the tag i disagree with but why should i whine about it lmao im not 12

[catastrxblues]

—

#okay i actually want to rant a bit 😭 - not advised to read this because then you might get brain damage #because oh my god??????? weird #(was going to write an entire diary but nvm here’s the gist of it) #basically i was coming home from this chem thing right #i used the train as i always do when it comes to this. and because the new station just got a shiny renovation it is now connected to the #new mall in front of it (we have two now it’s an addition to the first one). and guess what 😭 #i had to go in and get to the first mall because my dad said he’d just pick me up at the lobby instead of the bus stop in front of #the station entrance right. #and when i was on the elevator going up on a call with my mom about food orders 😭 #the guy i used to have a very very VERY heavy crush on in middle grade got to the elevator leading down just as i was on the landing 😭😭 #and i had to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating so as he was descending and his back turned to me i examined the back of his head and i’m #pretty sure it was him. curiosity killed the cat i should’ve remembered that shit because you know what my stupid ass did?? #i was already walking away on my way to cross to the first mall but then that curiosity got the better off me and i steppedonto the elevato #leading down 😭 and followed him out into (apparently) the fucking bus stop #oh my goddd I JUST REALIZED this is my the one moment help #except i don’t think he recognized me because i was never even friends with him lmao. wrote tons of poetry about him ✅ #actually had one proper conversation with him ❌ #i was delusional and kept alone with my thoughts living in my head do not judge me #but seriously even though i don’t really care about him anymore this would’ve been (unfortunately) SUPER important to middle grade me #she would’ve taken it as a sign or something and write like five pages about it #and i just keep thinking about that #funny how things change because IF YOU KNEW how many credits and exaggerated compliments i gave him in my old journal #oh you would’ve laugheddd #like i used to SPEND SO MUCH TIME pondering over him it’s so 😭 #i used to have an oc and i think i based it on my idea of him and then i think that idea of him was even the reason i started to TRY to #write poetically. and i used to relate every taylor swift love songs to him (esp the ones in debut lover and rep and fearless) IT WAS SO #FUNNY LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW #i think he did see me though. i put on this act as if i was searching for someone confused and then (my go to) pretended someone called me #and then i whisked off as if to find that someone #i’d like to think i look pretty cool though. not because of anything (def not my looks because i was SO TIRED from that extra chem lessons

[diet-soap]

I know for SURE that media literacy is dead because there are people fully saying and believing that there was no character growth this season they legitimately think this. Okay little buddy we’re gonna watch it one more time go get you your glasses we’re gonna make sure your ears are open reeeeal big this time because there is no fucking way you watched all that and genuinely believe that they “reverted back to old dynamics”

#wwdits #txt #I’m not even surprised anymore because you illiterate bitches have something to complain about literally every season #and the only valid complaint I can think about is that they don’t know what to do with nadja. that’s entirely true and I understand that #but guys. it’s the shit and fart show. it’s the shit and fart show calm the fuck down

[eleooooooo]

random memes I reblog getting more activity than the art I do is really helping the mental for sure encouraging me to keep going during one of the worst times of my life for sure for sure

#not a cry for help or beg for attention #I’m just so tired making shit and having it just flopping on twitter or here #idk what you guys even want to see from me #I don’t even know anymore #I feel like giving up #my physical health sucks right now #I’m in the process of dropping out from uni #next time I get pills from my therapist I’m taking them all =D