#I KNEW I LIKED HIM FROM THE START

[unluckystreak]

BISEXUALISM!!!! LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!

#I LOVE SURPRISE QUEER CHARACTERS/COUPLES/STORYLINES ETC #LIKE IK THERES NOT GONNA BE AN ACTUAL MLM ROMANCE BUT #A SURPRISE QUEER CHARACTER IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME HAPPY #AAAAAAAA #I KNEW I LIKED HIM FROM THE START #until someone tells me 'actually it was translated wrong' #shhh ill live in denial then #my new boss is goofy #my new boss is goofy spoilers #also sidenote: i tried like 800 times to get a screenshot with his mouth open #and it just wasnt happening so i gave up LOL

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[cirnogaming]

artemis is one of the best characters ever created i think. she likes to feel like a cobb salad when shes having sex. she serves cunt at all hours of the day. shes bisexual. shes jewish. she's always serving a look. she is constantly on psychedelic drugs. she fucks nasty in the dumpster behind wendy's. shes perfect

#iasip #from time to time i think about how artemis transcribed charlies play into a script #with seemingly nothing to gain from it #besides the fact that charlie is her friend and she got to help put on a show #do you think she knew? do you think while writing it all down she figured out what it was actually about #i mean she doesn't deny what everyone is saying about the script but she kind of sides with charlie when he starts bickering with the gang #do you think she felt like the kinder option was to just let him express himself the way he wanted to.. #compared to the rest of the gang she's honestly a pretty selfless person #i mean yeah. she'll usually only get into something if it benefits her #but sometimes there's no reason for her to be involved. someone just asked her for help and she showed up

[romeavethinker]

if you could only see me now / i know i'd disappoint somehow

#AUGH. FINALLY. HE IS FINISHED #i started this in like. early january. #still not fully satisfied but i knew if i kept trying to tweak it i wouldnt EVER finish it #my poor poor boy and his childish dependence on approval he'll never receive from a brother who threw him to the wolves #aphmau #aphblr #dante #minecraft diaries #mcd #aphverse #dante mcd #fan art #mothy's art ☆

[sysig]

I think the world is so wonderful... (Patreon)

#My art #Handplates #UT #Papyrus #I have not been able to get this idea out of my head for like - days now lol #It's only solidified the more I read! Heck!! #I dunno if I was necessarily hoping that reading further would point me in another direction but no now this is one of his songs lol #I really like Rugrats Theory actually :) The song of course it's lovely but I even have some nostalgia for the creepypasta haha #Been a while since I read it tho so that's probably just the soft haze of memory talking lol #But the song is still great! I'm partial to the English cover but I like the original as well :) #There are just so many fun lyrics! Especially for Papyrus specifically #''Everything I've been told I believe and yet people that I love just leave'' Gasterrr #''I think I'm old enough to understand so there's no reason to hide from me'' Sanssssssss #Once I returned to the scene of Sans trying to lie to him I just fjdslahfd these lyrics would Not leave me alone lol #I'm also Extremely partial to the second verse surrounding blindness and willful ignorance - his vision problems literal and metaphorical! #I wasn't planning to start a Handplates playlist but I guess by this point it's kinda too late haha #I also tried a different style of shading for this one ♪ Trying to style match a bit hehe #It's fun! Scratchy - tho some of that is from still using my usual brushes lol #I was Very inspired by watching the comic creation playlist - so cool! Very fun to watch and pick up ideas hehe #I knew I forgot something lol dang it - forgot the dash between WDG-2 #S'what I get for using pre-plates references :P #For just a quick little thing I'm fairly pleased overall tho :)

[merriclo]

link’s house in hateno village never fails to make me overly emotional bc wtf do you mean there’s an apple tree and a stable, and just down the path there’s a little pond to fish in??

#i rlly love this house man #it’s just so quaint and nice #like yeah let him be calm. let him have a nice little home in a nice little town. #let him live just a few minutes away from purah #let him have his apple tree #the thought of link sitting down everyday and having a meal while the beloved weapons of his fallen friends surround him is too much for me #and don’t even get me started on how it’s implied/canon that that was his childhood home #and he saved it. he saved his home. he saved a part of his past. #screaming into the void #do you think zelda saw the house and was like ‘link. link omg’ bc maybe She knew it was his old home #maybe my emotional attachment to the house in hateno village says something abt me #botw #breath of the wild #botw link #link botw #loz #legend of zelda breath of the wild #legend of zelda

[keiicom]

Altan Trengsin was doomed from the start. Mans had death flags written all over him, alongside all the regular red ones. And even after, he haunted the narrative, never letting go, forever ingrained in every step the others took, every action and decision and planned move. Everywhere they went, he was there. He became the epitome of rage, the incarnation of pure, unbridled fury. He came close to being a god, yet found that he was so incredibly human, so incapable of ever crossing the line into divinity (for his immense shortcomings rivaled his immense strength) that he was unable. He was set up for failure when he needed to win the most. He was let down by everything he ever put his faith into. He became anger. He became vengeance. Never in his life did he know the warmth of love, the comfort of reciprocated acts of kindness, the selflessness in caring and being cared for. And when he was faced with it he still couldn't understand. When he saw a glimpse of it he realized he had no place for that in his heart, for all left inside was charred bone and ash. And by "no place for that in his heart" I don't mean he didn't want it. Of course he wanted it. Though he wanted revenge a bit more. He had no place for selfless love in his heart the same way a body rejects medicine, viscerally, unconsciously, unwillingly, because it is incapable of carrying that with him, because it is a foreign thing he's never known, and it's far too late for assimilation. He tried. The phoenix knows he tried.

UGH I wanna study him like a bug

#meanwhile chaghan: I can fix him 🥺 #I know this is not how it went but it's exactly how it went LMAO #he's so tragic they're so tragic #altan trengsin #the poppy war #the poppy war spoilers #ACTUALLY LIES chaghan knew he couldn't fix him from the start but he still allowed himself to feed into those thoughts despite everything #chaghan knew he was doomed but he couldn't help but want to see. like the death of a star. he had to be there to witness it #and he fell in love with the star along the way and. and 😭 #okay I'm rambling now #chaghan suren

[ninjasmudge]

if you havent seen/read dungeon meshi yet, dont let the jokes confuse you, chilchuck loves his friends so much. when i first started reading i was legit surprised he wanted to go in and help and i was kind of waiting for him to demand all their supplies in payment or something

its a funny joke that 'union chilchuck is not helping when the party is dying' but do NOT be put off by the jokes he loves those idiots and hes resisting the urge to baby izutsumi as we speak

#i was legit expecting him to be a prick #most of the art and comics i saw on here were depicting him as a prick and dont get me wrong its a funny joke once youve read it i think- #theyre funny but it DID give me an extremely skewed idea of what chilchuck was gonna be like #and also marcille who is not even half as needlessly anxious as she is in all art on here #dungeon meshi #this is probably needless but legit it did put me off from starting the #manga/anime a little bc i thought id hate him and i knew he was one of the main characters

[zinniapetals]

my fave chengxian reconciliation scenario is wei wuxian slowly realizing that the life of a wanderer isn’t actually what he wants and lotus pier is his home and more clearly, living in a world with jiang cheng but not actually being something to jiang cheng isn’t what he wants either

#chengxian #text #liztalks #I’m just ugh sad girl chengxian hours #I think a lot about the ending of mdzs and how it doesn’t add up #I fee like if it actually took the time to let wwx grieve to heal to think about what happened #wwx would realize he’s using lwj to run away and to hide from his past #I love the fics that give him a few years to get situated with the world #the introspection of what he did and what he now wants and needs #and not to slander lwj but it isn’t him lmao #don’t even get me started on if wwx found out about jc’s sacrifice #mxtx is a coward for not doing that reveal bc she knew that the endgame would have been chengxian lmao #okay I’m delulu ignore me

[sp00pypumpkins]

Got busy this weekend and couldnt draw much so today I did this silly thing :3

Something sweet about the Prototype qwq I find it endearing those two would get so happy when the prototype is near while other toys would feel intimidated by them XD I will make more silly doodles about why Zero thinks so high of the Prototype in the future :D

Au by @asamary You should check their stuff :D!

Also Zero chirps when they are very happy (The only one who got to hear them is 1006 till now, Zero is a bit embarrased because he cannot control it but with 1006 he lowers his guard but also acts childish around him too HAHA)

#poppy playtime #catnap #sweet home au #poppy playtime sweet home #prototype #poppy playtime 1006 #oc Zero Signal #poppy playtime oc #my art #I wanna put on a comic how zero little by little they managed and healed about their fear of other people and stopped being extremely #dependant of the prototype. like imagine he made chaos is hospitals or any other place cuz he would wake up from nigthmares of being back #and wouldnt be able to differenciate reality from the nightmare and would stop only by shutting himself in a room/closet or the prototype #assured him its okay then while healing the prototype made catnap one of his most loyal followers to met zero since he is very calm and #chill but funnily enough i like to think catnap just went. “im their favorite” and started picking a fight in wich zero got frustrate and #they ended up fighting and making zero come out of his shell a bit (the prototype totally knew it would help probably HAHA) #and catnap being unable to use the gas because kaboom with electricity HAHAH #in the end both got scolded zero should know better cuz oldest of the two and catnap for picking a fight HJAHA #also zero calls him my lord in a non religious way but more in like how a servant would call a duke or nobility kings etc #the prototype collecting kids with trauma like pokemon card

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[childrenofthesun77]

...okay, so I'm probably not the first person to notice this.

But gear's earing that he points towards when he says that he did the same ritual he wanted to help kuro with already on himself before:

actually looks pretty similar to the pieces of the necklace the count used to create the servamps:

The different pieces of the necklace seem to contain one demon each and the count used them to create the servamps.

So...did the count either learn this technique from the werewolves or is he possible even originally a werewolf himself? It would explain why he's immortal, that's why I'm wondering about this.

Gear says that the ritual is used to remove spirits, could it be that the count removed his own sins using the werewolf ritual and created the demons this way? But he went too far and removed too much unlike gear who only removed one part of himself? Him removing the sins from himself would also explain why he's so weird and doesn't understand other beings. As the sin demons say, they are a natural part of being a human and we have seen multiple times that denying their existence is harmful, removing them all from you would probably lead to you not being able to relate to other people anymore.

Maybe removing all these parts of himself is also why he has no appearance. Without his demons he's not a person anymore.

The count originally being a werewolf would also explain why he has magical abilities (gear can also use magic) before other magicians existed and why he's so anxious about certain people dying. Gear talks about how his immortality makes him sad because human friends do die, but unlike the count gear seems to accept death, grieves in a heathier way than the count and is able to move on and make new friends. Could also explain why his magic and creations are all strongly tied to the (full) moon.

Another similarity is that while werewolves apparently can't reproduce gear was able to have descendants by sharing his life force (it's mentioned in chapter 135 which isn't translated yet) with a woman and through her human children tsurugi is related to gear. Sigurd explained to nicco that the magicians came to be because the count let humans drink his blood, three survived, got magical ablities and became the ancestors of all human magicians:

Maybe the count is more of a werecat though. He and the sloth demon do seem to have a closer connection, even though the count's appearance changes depending on the person looking at him he does usually keep his tail and the tip looks exactly like the one of kuro's cat/lion form and similar to the the one of inner sloth's non-human form.

It was also stated multiple times that the sloth demon is the strongest. I wonder why that is. Servamp comments on the fact that being lazy is often actually a sign of depression/anxiety through kuro's arc, so maybe the count was depressed and that's why the sloth demon is the strongest? Basically the demons strength depends on how much the count suffered from the different sins? It would also explain why melancholy is so strong, I assume kuro refusing to see him no matter how many siblings he sent his way to tell him to come looking for the count made him extremely sad and probably even made him come up with the plan to have himself be killed and then put in the same body as kuro through the ritual.

I assume he was behind C3 ordering the servamps to kill him because he's the one who created the magicians and thus C3 and lily who is kind of working for him was probably the one who put the idea that the count needed to be killed into the head of his eve (aka a member of the alicein family who hold a lot of power in C3 basically since the beginning. I explained this in more detail in another post). The people from C3 even said that the count can only be killed if he wants to and yeah, kuro didn't truly kill him, but he did destroy his body and kuro seems to have met little resistance when he attacked the count. Which probably means the count wanted this to happen.

#servamp #...if the servamps/demons all came from the count and the magicians are all basically the descendants of the count #does that mean this truly is all just a huge family conflict #since basically everyone involved is somewhat related to the count?😅 #Sigurd says he's related to one of the three people who drank the counts blood #I'm still wondering if mahiru is special because he might have the blood of all three bloodlines #and C3 has a rule in place that forbids all three bloodlines from crossing #probably put in place by the count or lily #and that's why akira told nobody who the father of her child was #I still like my absolute crack theory that because mahiru might have “more” of the counts blood in him that he has no fixed appearance eith #But because he's so normal everyone perceives him as normal so nobody noticed until now that mahiru looks slightly different to all of them #honestly it would explain/excuse some questionable choices made by characters who as far as we know should be good people #Like why akira didn't tell anybody who the father was #why tooru tried to avoid being seen with mahiru in school by always saying he's to busy #Why tooru told mahiru not to tell the secret to anyone else #and why mahiru was raised as mundane as possible and as far away from C3 as possible #even why tooru kept his work for C3 secret from mahiru even after mahiru made the contract #and why he still didn't tell him the name of his father #If people know your relatives they start comparing you to them #If people knew that touma was mahiru's father they might expect mahiru to look like him #If people only knew mahiru was related to akira and tooru they would expect him to look like them #If people at school only knew mahiru but never met tooru before mahiru's appearance to them might be too different from tooru #Touma saying mahiru looks exactly like tooru doesn't disprove this crack theory either btw #Touma sees mahiru as tooru 2.0 and he's not 100% convinced he's actually mahiru's father so mahiru appearing as a copy of tooru makes sense #Just like mahiru would perceive himself as looking like akira and tooru because those are the only close relatives of his he knows #Sorry but I'm having too much fun with this crack theory #the twist that raising mahiru as the “ordinary high school student” was all a plot by his family #to keep people from noticing that they don't actually agree on what he looks like is too funny to me

[puhpandas]

Tony and Vanessas relationship through Gregory can be something so personal

#im so obsessed with the concept of tony and vanessa #i got some of it out in rabbit burrow but like #vanessa seeing this kid show up who gregory knew pre memory loss pre vanessa being free #coming back and hes supposed to be dead. hes probably the only one to survive the two of them #and then he keeps coming over and coming over all the time #and vanessa watches gregory and him hole up in his room for hours and she can hear them laughing from the living room #and theres this other one named ellis as well #but he isnt like how tony is with gregory #vanessa just watches her kid and this other kid get reacquainted #and as more time passes she notices their relationship becomes special #tony is like a blend of gregorys old and new life and all of the good in both #and vanessa just loves seeing her kid happy #tony and vanessa both iteract sometimes but dont really talk one on one #but vanessa knows that they have a common goal #tht they want the best for gregory #and vanessa just grows fond of this other kid who seems to be attatched at the hip with hers #and starts to prepare little snacks for when he comes over when she learns more meals to make #pandas.txt #pandas talks #thoughts #beckory #detective rabbit #vanessa #gregory #3 star fam #tony

[tricoufamily]

visiting the hometown

(want everyone to know this edit came to me in a dream and i changed the lore just to do it)

#in the dream i was like editing it but i was also there? it was weird. it started as a dream about lawson in a zombie apocalypse #ok important tags first so i can write an essay #ts4 #ts4 render #ts4 edit #the sims 4 #beckett #lawson #blood sports #but yeah if you haven't been here before beckett and lawson never knew each other as kids #if they did it would be a butterfly effect and mess w a bunch of other plot details. so i decided to work around it #also if ur new they've had a friends with benefits thing going on for a long time but lawson is in love with him. beck doesn't know #originally beckett was put in foster care as a baby bc of neglect and was bounced around foster homes for years #he was a troubled child always getting in fights a kleptomaniac undiagnosed autism etc etc foster families tried and just didn't want him #then when he was around 12 a very nice old lady named cora got him and they ended up forming a great bond they loved each other #she was going to adopt him then when beckett was around 15 or 16 his birth mother reentered the picture and wanted him back #it started a really nasty legal battle and cora died. we can't say for sure it was the stress of this fight but beckett certainly thinks so #anyway he did go back with his birth mother and things got really bad for him. he dropped out of school started doing worse crimes and so o #but none of that is what even changed #now LAWSON is also from west virigina like beckett. it's a small town lawson was new he had no friends #he was a very clingy possessive child who cried and threw tantrums so much #he met beckett and the rest is history. beckett didn't really mind how lawson acted he didn't really find him annoying like everyone elsedi #besides he didn't have friends either #lawson has wealthy parents they were welcoming to beckett at first if a little apprehensive. then he stole something from their house #and lawson wasn't allowed to hang out with him anymore. but he still did in secret. they still have no idea that beckett's even still aroun #or just how involved lawson is with him and his. activities 😬 they just think he's their good little college boy #in the original beckett moved to Not Gotham City when his mother got him back but in this version lawson is going to college there #and beckett's been distant from him for a while things are awful for him and lawson says hey. what if you gave the city a try. and he did #so really you could say the events of blood sports are all lawson's fault the end

[alcego]

thinking about an AU where Andrew’s memory starts to fade. just a touch—not to the levels of amnesia or anything like that, but in the sense that remembering everything in crystal-clear, high-def surround sound replay is no longer a coping mechanism his body relies on. the pattern recognition and hyper-vigilance becoming unnecessary as his life tones down, as he settles into something quiet, if not peaceful. that twinge of despair when his brain flicks back to pull a memory and apply it to a situation, only to find it blurry and half-remembered. realizing the vast majority of his childhood became a blur sometime in the past few months. it would change so much for him, i think, but it would open up space for him to grow into later…

#aftg #andrew minyard #i have a lot of thoughts about his memory being a critical coping mechanism for him #brains do weird shit to protect u #mine prefers to vanish whole swathes of time from existence rather than let the trauma out #but andrew’s did the opposite—sat in it until he Knew before he knew that someone wasn’t right #and kind of like how those repressed memories pop up sometimes while healing #i think it’d be interesting if andrew’s brain started letting things go #it’d be stressful. but maybe not the worst

[hideyseek]

oh godd im gonna explode .. shen wei explaining why he wears this mask and saying its bc he's scared when he fights but when he wears the mask it hides his expressons and nobody can see him being scared ... present day shen wei doing that figuratively in how he presents himself ... no more mask but via distancing himself from people still preventing them from seeing how he feels

#this is not super coherent but oh my god #there is also something here about how intensely / straightforwardly zyl is flirting with shen wei now that he knows this is the past #but i havent quite wrapped my head around it #something too about how rn sw and zyl's experiences are flipped from how they were at the start of canon #zyl knows so much of sw and sw knows nothing of him #JUST LIKE SW KNEW ZYL AND ZYL KNEW NOTHING OF SW AT THE START AAAAAA #hidey watches guardian #guardian