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#shhh ill live in denial then
unluckystreak · 6 months
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BISEXUALISM!!!! LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!
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cloverdaisies · 11 months
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INSANITY: LEE SANGYEON
“i want you to make the darkness disappear. i want to drive to crazy. my love is dangerous.”
a lee sangyeon imagine based on the song insanity by the boyz: request from my lovely darling @winterchimez ☆
contains: mature themes¡ slightly toxic relationship¡ half angst¡ half fluff¡
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“sunday morning.. rain is falling..” his sweet honey voice echoed through the room bouncing off the empty walls in a sinister melody. audible from the room next door, the tune broke the silence of the fresh aftermath of a recent argument lurked over the home.
living with sangyeon was glamorous hell:
- he’d treat you like royalty one day and hate your guts the next
- he’d shower you with gifts and love one day, then fill you with words hate and malice the next
- he’d surround you with everything you loved one day then surround you with your very worst nightmare the next.
the kind of love that draws you in and out but you just can’t let go of it. his bright white smile and sweet sycamore eyes were enough of an apology for his harsh little sayings that just seemed to slip off the tip of his tongue on his worst days.
“honey?” my ears pricked up at the endearment, beckoning me to listen like a siren to the words he had to say. “would you please lay with me a while, my head is feeling ill and i’d like some company.”
if only minutes before he wasn’t screaming about how he hated my very existence and how he didn’t want me in his space at all. he didn’t mean it. i tell myself in short snaps of thoughts that are evidently in denial. he was receiving therapy, which he drove himself to everyday to talk about his duplicitous behavior and lack of mind control. he’d bring home new medicines that sat in the cupboard rotting away for weeks as no placebo seemed to fool the voices in his head to go away.
which is why i feel that the antidote is to wrap my arms around him feeling his muscles relax and his eyes soften from a dark black to the familiar hazel brown they always were.
i trail my way over, in my silk garments bare footed against the polished wooden planks of the flooring, to the white leathered couch where he sprawled himself out like eros picking out fruit from a grape vine.
he gently whisked me into a romantic embrace, where i was warmed into his soft chest and cradled like a baby on his lap.
“will you make it go away?” he asked softly.
“make what go away, my cherub?” i replied stroking the soft wisps of hair away from his face.
“the darkness. will you rid of it for me?” his eyes sparkled with tears that had broken out of the lids that held them.
“of course i will.” i pulled his head into my chest with a sigh, unable to see the boy cry. his mind was broken, in fact shattered to pieces. with the difficult career he’d chosen and the abundance of trauma behind him - he loved me, he showed that on his best days.
“my love is dangerous for you.” he looked up with sorrow written all over each feature of his face.
“that’s okay darling. we’re working on it together.” i reply with an exhausted sigh which hung on to the tip of my lips.
“but i don’t deserve you. i’ll drive you as crazy as me-” he began to vomit words which attempted to erase everything he wishes he never did.
when i first met the boy he was likely in god’s line of favorite angels, a sweet boy with no bone that held the ability to kill no more than a small fly. his career had deduced him to no more than mere emblem of success that would never be fulfilled, an object for passersby to gawk at and observe.
but he was my baby boy, my knight in shining armor, no matter how dangerous his love was, no matter how much he pulled me in and out of romance, he was my angel.
“shhh darling.” i hushed the hysterical boy in my embrace. “i’m here now yes? i always will be.”
“i love you.” he whispered looking up at me unsurely, his lips curving up into a small smile.
instead of replying, i sealed his lips with my own, letting all our problems fade out into a background of slow jazz music and warm low lighting.
lee sangyeon’s love was dangerous, but he made me feel like no other would.
☆*:.。. .。.:*☆☆*:.。..。.:*☆☆*:.。. .。.:*☆☆*:.。..。.:*☆
if you enjoyed this: request your own tbz member & song over on my profile! (anon is welcome)
i hope this fulfilled ur requests <3
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A Place Like This 3
Warnings: this short series includes dark elements including noncon, violence, mentions of mental illness, mentions of contraception, and other explicit content. I’m not your mother, curate your own consumption.
This is dark!Lumberjack!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You’ve gone too far to back out now.
Note: Okay, writing this, I thought hey, I can keep it to three parts... and this could be an ending but if you guys want one more part, I’ll do an official finale.
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
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You finally broke the surface, floating and bobbing on your back. You were dizzy, your head pounded and your lungs burned. Your body felt heavy and you couldn’t help but shiver as a fire crackled nearby. 
You opened your eyes. Your mother sat with your head in her lap, you were wrapped in a thick duvet before the fireplace, and she pressed her warm palms to your cheeks.
“She’s awake,” She said. “Girl, you really scared us.”
A shadow neared and you flinched as Andy knelt beside you. You let out a weak moan but could only wriggle in the duvet. You coughed and shook your head.
“Get him away!” You rasped. “Ma!”
“Shhhh,” She traced along your cheekbone. “It’s okay. It’s just Andy.” She looked up. “She must be delirious.”
“She’s lucky I got to her when I did.” He replied and reached to touch your forehead. Your teeth chattered. You felt the cold deep in your bones. “But she’s still cold. If it’s hypothermia, we gotta keep her warm, at least until morning.”
“Yes, of course,” Your mother rocked your shoulders. “Oh, thank you, Andy. You saved her. I can’t-- If you hadn’t been there.”
Andy sighed and waved away her words. He stood and crossed to the fire. He fed it another long and looked to the old grandfather clock in the corner.
“It’s past midnight. You should sleep. She’ll be fine.” Andy said. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”
“Nonsense, I’m her mother. I should be here--”
“You been trying not to drift off for the last hour. You’ll do her no good if you’re exhausted,” He said. “I’ll take over. Don’t worry.”
“You’re too good a man, Andy Barber.” Your mother smiled and tutted. She caressed your cheek again and Andy handed her a cushion to place under your head as she moved from beneath you. “Well, I suppose there had to be at least one in this godforsaken world.”
He took your mother’s hand and helped her stand as she groaned at her aching knees.
“Go. Sleep. When you wake up, she’ll be better.” He assured her. “Alright?”
“Okay,” She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Thank you… have a good night.”
“You too,” He bid. “Go on.”
“Night, dear,” Your mother called to you. She hadn’t called you anything but ‘girl’ since you were a child. You clung to the duvet and your arms brushed against your bare torso.
“Good night,” You croaked as you remained paralysed before the dancing flames. 
You wanted to beg her to stay but Andy turned and glared. A silent warning. Your mother turned and went up the stairs. You watched her helplessly and sucked in a breath as you listened to her footsteps and then she open and shut of her bedroom door above.
You sat up. The effort made you light headed and you hunched over as you moaned. Andy was beside you in a moment. He urged you back down with a hand on your shoulder. His hair was messy around his head and he wore a different shirt than earlier that day. 
He must have dived in after you, but why?
You hugged yourself and shivered again. “I’m naked.” You said.
“We had to get your clothes off so you didn’t freeze,” He sat back as his eyes searched your face. “You almost drowned. I barely got you back before the storm began.”
“You tried to kill me.”
“You wandered onto a frozen river. That’s hardly my fault.” He said tersely. “And I was nice enough to drag you out.”
“All I did was follow you,” You grumbled. “Then you… you attacked me.”
He scoffed and his jaw squared beneath his thick beard. His eyes glowed in the fire light and he reached into his shirt pocket. He pulled out the pack of cigarettes and opened it up. He slid one out and placed it between his lips. 
He fished around for a sleeve of matches hidden in his pocket and sparked one off the strip. He lit the smoke, the wisps blowing out from the corners of his mouth as he dug deeper in the pack. He pulled out the photo. He unfolded it and looked at it, holding it against the carton with his thumb as he pulled the cigarette away from his lips with his other hand.
“Two smokes to the left, five to the right, the corner of the photo bent just enough to keep it in place.” He mulled. “You’re a shit detective. I know, I used to work with them.”
You looked down guiltily. He took another puff and grimaced.
“Not much of a smoker but sometimes when I’m thinking too much I have one.” He blew away the smoke and stretched his arm over you to flick the cigarette into the fireplace. “My wife and son. They’re dead now. Whether I talk about it or not, but I prefer the latter.”
He put the photo back in the pack and reached behind him to place it on the low coffee table. He turned back to you and poked his tongue out between his lips.
“So, what is it you thought? That I killed them?” He scowled. “I didn’t, not in reality, but maybe it was my neglect, my denial that killed them. But it wasn’t me.”
You stared at him. You tried to sit up again but he quickly caught your shoulder and held you down.
“I came here so I didn’t have to talk about it or think about it. I came here to get away because everywhere I went I saw husbands, wives, children; families, all happy, all alive. And it made me so… angry.” His nostrils flared as his grip tightened on your shoulder. “Then I meet you. Your mother. You two can barely stand each other. Perfect. Nothing to envy, just as miserable as me.”
You pushed your arm above the blanket and grasped his wrist. You tried once more to sit up and shove away his hand. He quickly twisted his arm away and his fingers stretched across your throat.
“Doesn’t kill the loneliness. In fact, it makes it worse.” He sneered. “Doesn’t it?”
You squinted at him as you latched onto his wrist. He didn’t squeeze but held you firm enough to keep you down.
“I heard you. In the shower. I was curious how you coped with being alone all the way up here.” He smirked. “I can’t say it didn’t inspire me.”
“Let go--”
His fingers tightened and strangled your voice from you. He got to his knees and his other hand gripped the top of the duvet. He tore it away and bared your naked body. The heat of the fire washed over your skin as you tried to hide yourself. He was quick to straddle you as he kept his hand on your neck.
“Get off--” You dug your nails into his cuff.
“Shhh,” He bent until his nose was almost touching yours. “You don’t wanna wake your mom. Trust me. She’s sick already.” His lips curled. “You wouldn’t want her to get hurt because of you.”
“You wouldn--”
“She’s a cranky old wart.” He snapped. “But you…” His other hand tickled your side. “You’re her daughter, you love her, you want to keep her safe.” He backed up and his thumb ran along your hip and his fingers curled around your flesh. “You would do anything for her, wouldn’t you?”
You gaped at him and your lip quivered. You swallowed and nodded as he loosened his hold on your neck. He let out a small chuckle and slid his hand down to cup your chest. His eyes followed as he played with your nipple.
“You know, I heard the best way to warm someone up is skin to skin contact.” He moved further back and dragged his nose along your throat and chest. He nuzzled your nipple and flicked it with his thumb. “And no doubt that adrenaline I feel pumping through you will help.”
“Please…” You whispered. “I won’t tell--I won’t say anything.”
“Shut up,” He lifted his head and grabbed your chin. He squeezed so hard your jaw felt as if it would break. “I don’t want to hear you.”
You shuddered as he looked up at you. His other hand moved below him as he drew his knee back and forced it between your legs. He pushed his fingers against your cunt and you kicked your legs around him. He caught your thigh and pinched.
“You’re a stubborn bitch.” He growled and fell onto you. He rolled over and took you with him. Your teeth chatter as you were exposed entirely to the room. “Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about her.”
You pushed yourself up and stared him in the face. You blinked in horror.
“You do what I say and she’s safe. That’s it.” He shoved you up so you straddled him. “This little living arrangement won’t be so bad with some compromise.” You nodded as he grabbed your wrists and held your hands to his chest. “Listen. Carefully. Think about that river and how much worse I could do to an old lady.”
You winced and he slowly slid your hands over his shirt.
“I want your mouth.” He sneered. “I’m sure you can figure out what I want you to do with it.”
“Andy--”
“Not another word,” He shoved your hand lower so it was nearly between your legs. “These things happen. The fire gets out of control, help is too far away; a pity you were both trapped inside.”
You recoiled and tore your wrist from his grasp. Panicked your hands shook as you fell back and barely caught yourself. Slowly, reluctantly, you righted yourself as he watched you. He folded one arm behind his head and then the other and smirked. 
You closed your eyes and shuttered as you rested your palms against the front of his jeans; the twitch there added to his words. He sighed as you flicked the button of his fly loose and opened your eyes. Your hands shook as you pushed the zipper down and your hot breath puffed from your nose in frantic gasps.
Your eyes were glossy. Don’t cry, you told yourself as you gripped his jeans and he lifted his hips with a low chuckle. He was amused. His briefs were slid down next and the elastic caught on his arousal. Your fingers brushed his tip as you unhooked them and rolled them down. 
Your fingers twiddled in the air as you looked down as his cock. Then you glanced at yourself, your nakedness, and quaked. You couldn’t decide if you were more cold or afraid. Both, you thought.
“Do you need detailed instructions?” He taunted.
Your eyes snapped up and you scowled at him. You gripped his cock without look and moved back on your knees as you bent. You opened your mouth and he reached down to grasp your chin again.
“Keep those teeth to yourself.” He warned and let you go.
You lowered your gaze, your tongue was sour and your stomach churned. You poked your tongue out and swirled it lightly around the head of his cock. He groaned and you pressed your lips to his tip. You felt as if it was all happening in half-speed but you had to go on. 
You slid your mouth around him and his hand stretched across the back of your head before you could pull away. He pushed you down until he was at your throat. You grunted and he forced himself deeper. You extended your neck and choked as you took all of him, unable to breathe as your head pulsed even harder.
“Like that,” He let up and you slid back only to have him force you back down again. “Yeah that’s it.” He carried the motion, the sloppy noises of your mouth and throat filled your ears. “Take it. All of it.”
He was urgent, relentless as he bobbed your mouth down his length. His hand slipped as his other pressed to your head and he clutched you tightly. He moved his hips from below as your fingers curled into his hips. You were dizzy and dazed as you eyes rolled back and your chest felt as if it would burst.
He shoved you away all at once and you crumpled onto the floor beside him. You touched your throat and coughed, your entire body shook as Andy sat up, his hand at his cock.
“Fuck, you almost did it,” He snarled. “Fuck…” He hissed and took deeper breaths. “Fucking bitch.”
He slapped your thigh and you winced. He stood and pushed his pants all the way down. You sat up and touched your forehead as the room spun. He kicked the denim away from him, his socks and underwear caught in the folds. Another flutter of fabric and his hand was on your shoulder. 
He shoved you onto your back and bent over you. Your eyes struggled to focus on his as he glared down at you.
“I can’t decide…” He held your chin and pushed his thumb between your lips. “I like your tits… but the ass is nice too.”
You hit his wrist weakly and groaned. He snickered and pushed down on your tongue before he drew his hand away. He moved between your legs and bent them carefully. 
Your vision cleared, he was naked, his broad shoulders were limned in the fire light and you watched the thick muscles of his arms as they tensed beneath his skin. His chest was thick with the same colour hair as his beard and his raw power was corded in the muscles of his stomach.
He hugged your thighs and dragged you closer. His cock rested against your cunt and he slipped a hand between your bodies to guide it to your entrance. He poked you and slid it back up, he teased your fold as a low rumble rose from him. He stopped, once more as your entrance, and tilted his hips. 
You gasped as he pushed into you and slapped his hand on your thigh. He ignored you and got even deeper. He grabbed your other thigh and lifted your pelvis as he impaled you entirely.
You let out a wispy cry as he hung his head back and let out a long breath. He jerked his hips and you clawed at the rumpled duvet below. He moved your entire body as he began to thrust; short, sharp, mean jolts. The crackle of the fire was punctuated by the even, measured clap of flesh.
“That’s it,” He growled as he rutted into you. “You little bitch. Look at you. I can feel you, feel how much you need this; you want this.”
He bent over you and you tried to turn your face away from him. His hand framed your jaw and he held your head still. He kissed you roughly as he buried himself to his limit and drew away with a vicious nibble of your lip. He sat back on his knees and lifted you with him. 
His hand spread over one side of your ass and he began to rock you against him. His other arm hooked around your back and his fingers clung to your shoulder. He grunted as he slid you up and down his cock, your pelvis snug against him as the friction sent a wave of heat through you.
“You don’t get it. You don’t get-- how long-- I’ve waited-- I’ve been alone,” His bestial panting stuttered his words. “You don’t realise-- how much you hunger-- for human touch-- for anything-- until you’ve waited so long.”
Your arms were folded against his chest as your fingers curled into the muscles beside his neck. You whined as your core began to swell. You shook your head, ashamed of your building arousal. This man… you didn’t know this man or what he’d done. All you knew was that he could kill you and your mother. That he would if you made him.
“Fuck. Or maybe-- you were-- waiting for me,” He bent his head and nuzzled the crook of your neck as he continued to move you, his fingertips pressed deep in the flesh of your ass. “Huh? Did you think about it? Like I did? Waking up? Opening my door?” 
He snarled and sank his teeth into your throat, he bounced you faster against him. He left your flesh raw and sore as he removed his mouth and replaced it with his hand. He lifted his hand as he gripped your throat and lowered himself carefully onto his ass. He took you with him as he laid flat, still grasping your neck as he had you sitting atop him.
“Keep going.” He snapped. You kept your hips going as he squeezed and your head swam. “Did you? Think about crawling into my bed? Huh? Keep it quiet? Just a little human warmth for that frigid heart?”
“Andy--” You mewled as his other hand guided your hip. Your clit brushed his pelvis and you felt your surging orgasm. “And---”
“Shhh,” He dropped his hand from your neck and grabbed your other hip. He rocked you faster, holding you down so that the friction grew unbreakable. “That’s it. Give in.”
You covered your face as you came. Your thighs tensed around him as you let him move you and moaned into your hands. He chuckled and changed your motion. He bounced you atop him. You dropped arms and clung to his wrists. His eyes focused between your legs as he watched himself inside of you. He stuck his tongue out and snarled.
“Shit,” He swore and slammed you down over and over. “Get ready.”
He pushed his head back into the floor and every muscle in his body contracted. He groaned as he spilled into you and you quaked atop him. His warmth filled you and turned your stomach as he slowed you. He held you down, every inch of him inside of you, and panted as his nails dug into your hips.
He drew his hands back and rubbed his chest. His lips curved slightly and he patted his shoulder. 
“Here,” He said. “We need to keep you warm still.”
You raised yourself on your knees weakly. You swayed as you climbed off of him and fell down beside him. Your vision swirled and every ounce of strength drained from you. He rested your head on his arm and his hand lingered on you, threatening to crush your jaw. Then the tension left his grip and he stroked your cheek. You were startled by his gentleness.
“That’s what I want you to do.” He whispered as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb and his arm hugged you closed. “When it’s late, when you’re mother’s asleep, I want you to come to me. Keep me happy and I’ll keep you safe. Both of you.”
You gulped and blinked away your fearful tears. You shivered as another wave of cold crawled over you. He reached and bent your leg over him and he inhaled the scent of your scalp.
“Understood?” He said.
“Yes,” You breathed as you trembled against him. “I got it.”
Your hand slipped down as his cum leaked from you and cooled on your thighs. You sniffed as you rubbed your fingers through the mess. Your mind was hazy but you knew that wasn’t good. He sensed the movement and his hand found yours and he dragged his fingers through the slickness of your cunt.
“I came inside you,” He said as if only realising it. “Are you--”
“I’m not...” You murmured as you tore your hand away. “But I’ll go to--” You were blurry, you couldn’t focus. “I’ll go to town… tomorrow.”
“No, you’ll stay here,” He poked his fingers inside you and played with his cum. He hummed as if pleased with himself. “I’ll get it. I’ll take care of it.”
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