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tallymonster · 3 months

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Memories of Us Chapter 16

AO3 Link || Masterlist

Tags: @justporo @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus @davenswitcher @wayward-hel @hereliesblackdragon @misscrissfemmefatale

Slowly getting my updates out lol sorry for the shitty upload schedule. Blame my depression 😘

Thanks as always to @cheesy-cryptid for blessing me with their permission to use their art as the launching pad to this fic that has helped me deal with my grief. Also to my besties @micropoe10 and @tragedybunny for indulging me and for being my main support system when the sadness takes my mind over. I owe you guys my life. 🫂❤️

Anyway, enjoy!

In the evening, Astarion takes his leave. They part with a kiss as he departs in the cloak of growing darkness. Octavia sits alone in her house, the dull cracking of the firewood soothed the ache she felt. She meant to tell Astarion her secret, but he instead surprised her with one of his own.

Octavia could have never imagined the dinner with Astarion ending in an even more complicated situation. As she takes it all in, she notices the mess around her.

The wine bottles and glasses are still on the table, there are cushions upturned on the floor, and her underwear is still on the armrest. She takes a second to chuckle at the entirety of these last two days. How quickly the tables had turned.

Octavia begins to collect the confetti of garbage around her when she hears a knock at her door. “Oh shit, please don't tell me he came back for something.” she groans. Tying her hair back, she exhales and swings the door open. She's surprised to see Gale of all people, in front of her with a bag.

“Good evening! By the look on your face, I gather you forgot about you asking me to come over a couple of days ago? Maybe you even forgot about the whole ‘showing me the journal you were bequeathed by your mother and revealing more of your past to me’ that you mentioned?” Gale finishes with a smile.

After a few rapid blinks from Octavia, he holds up the bag and says “I brought booze?” Octavia smiles and opens the door wider, allowing him to pass her. “Come on in friend, you and I happen to have a few interesting things to talk about.”

Gale steps through and sees the small disaster area that she calls a living room. He grimaces and turns to her, “This is not what I remember it looking like in here? Are your living quarters usually this disheveled??”

Octavia scoffs and feigns offense. She picks up one of the cushions near the coffee table and throws it towards Gale, missing him. “Damn it!” she laughs, playfully stomping on the ground. “I was hoping I smacked you so I could tell Astarion! He would never let you live that down.”

Gale pours himself a drink, “Haha yes laugh it up at my expense, but when I do things like this-” He snaps his finger and within seconds Octavia’s living room is perfect. “You would be a right mess without me. Admit it.” Gale smirks with a playful laugh, he was right, though.

Octavia grabs Gale’s glass and drinks it, “You wizards and your magic cleaning spells. Show off, probably don't even know how to clean your dishes properly.” He stares at her with a challenging look, he lifts up his hand and places his thumb and forefinger together.

“Please, if you want to antagonize me, I could revert it to your previous standards?” Gale’s eyes turn mischievous, he glances at her waiting for a reaction.

“You wouldn't dare, then I can't show you the book that you wanted to see.” Octavia says teasing his need for knowledge. Gale opens his mouth to say something, but does a double take when he notices Octavia’s bra peeking out of the corner of the couch.

Gale lets out a scandalized laugh, his head thrown back along with his eyebrows. “Wow, with the way your undergarments are stuffed in the cushions, you’d think you had sex with Astarion!” He reaches down and grabs the piece of forgotten clothing and holds it out like a freshly caught fish. “Gods, you couldn't even bother to grab this? If I could have seen it, my spell would have picked it up for you, oh well.”

Octavia snatches her bra back and throws it towards her bathroom. Her face fully flushed, she ignored Gale’s question and walked towards her bookshelf. “Oh GODS! You did, didn't you, Octavia?” Gale followed behind her, dropping the bag softly at the end of the coffee table.

“Octavia, talk to me… what happened between you two?” Gale asks with a softer, yet suspicious tone. Octavia continues to look through her bookshelf picking out a brown, worn leather bound book. She turns back to Gale and sighs.

“Gale…” she starts and grimaces. “Octavia…” he answers. The two of them stay locked in a stare, neither one wanting to crack, until Octavia begins to giggle. Her cheeks flush and her eyes remain closed. She places the book on her forehead shielding her face from Gale.

“Took you long enough. I was wondering if it would happen soon or if two would just keep pining away for another six months.” Gale laughs as he pulls the book away from Octavia’s grasp.

He turns to sit on the couch as Octavia grabs another bottle out of Gale’s bag. She joins him, sitting down calmly and says, “Do you have more in there? I have a lot to talk to you about, in particular…” Octavia opens the bottle and takes a long drink from it, exhaling loudly once she swallows the alcohol. “How long have you known about Astarion being a vampire?”

Gale's eyes widen in shock, he turns to Octavia, his face is completely blank aside from the giant frown on his lips. “WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN?” Gale nervously looks around, gripping Octavia’s book tightly in his hands. His eyes darted back and forth trying to focus on something other than Octavia.

“Gale, please don't keep lying to me. Besides, Astarion already told me himself.” Octavia takes her time pouring the wine into the other empty glass on the table. There's so much she wants to know, but Gale isn't the person to ask. “Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were friends, I opened up to you about my family. The least-”

“Stop. Stop right there.” Gale holds up his hand, “That was not my story to tell you, Octavia. You know damn well I wouldn't dare cross any of Astarion’s boundaries. This was something he explicitly told me not to tell you.”

Gale places the book down, giving Octavia the look a disappointed parent gives their delinquent teen.

“Why do you insist on testing boundaries? I get that you feel lied to, but I can't risk my friendship with him for you. He and I have an understanding that I have never had with anyone else. I can't really explain it, but it feels like he and I have been friends in another life. Who knows?” Gale shrugs, and leans back. “Anyway, I'm happy you two are doing well. Next time please grab your underwear before I come over?”

Octavia is quiet, she looks down at the book on the table, she picks it up along with the glass of wine. She hands the book to Gale and takes a sip of her drink. Gale’s eyes linger on Octavia’s wrist before she remembers the two puncture wounds on it. She retracts her hand and covers it up under the knitted cardigan she wore.

She could feel her face flush, how the hell would she be able to explain that away?

“You know what, I’m not even going to ask nor do I care. What you and Astarion do when you two are alone is entirely NONE of my business.” There was a brief pause, Octavia was about to say something before Gale cut her off. “How did it feel though? When he bit you?”

Octavia smirked and shot him a playful look, Gale swallowed and laughed, “You can't blame me, I'm a lover of knowledge, and well….can't say I haven't been a little curious…not many people remember what happened to the vampires in the Underdark. By the change in your expression I'm guessing you don't either?”

Octavia shakes her head, she heard stories from her family about the runaway spawn that were freed when her great grandmother was out on her adventure. Their plight at the hands of that evil bastard Cazador. The way they looked at her with hunger and fear. “I only know a little from stories my grandmother told me, what do you know?”

Gale looks at her with a forlorn stare, he bites his lips and his brows knit in a sorrowful expression. “Those people, the thousands of victims of such cruelty, a lot of them died when they were on their trek to the Underdark. Astarion has told me stories from when he would visit them. He has friends, family, people he knew who didn't make it. You and I were lucky and fortunate enough to have parents, a home, friends, the luxury of a life well lived. He doesn't. At least not one he remembers fondly.”

Octavia is shocked at what Gale tells her, she had no idea the type of horrific events that would have led Astarion to where he is now. “Gods…” she breathes out, her heart aching at the images being conjured in her mind.

“Please believe me when I tell you that I've been pushing him to try to open up to you and trust you. He’s not the type of person to put it all out there immediately.” Gale places his hand on Octavia’s shoulder, “Give him time to feel comfortable and you will get your answers. Now please, can I read this incredibly interesting journal you told me about??”

Octavia laughs softly, she leans over, grabs the book on the table a hands it to Gale. She sighs and takes a drink. Her mind is still buzzing, she can't think about those things and place Astarion in the middle of it. He's such a guarded person and now it was all making sense.

Gale leafs through the journal carefully, stopping and throwing his head back a little. His eyes flit back and forth for a few moments before he glances back at Octavia.

“Quote ‘Gale is nice enough, but he talks way too much. He and I shared a moment in the Weave earlier tonight. I felt this wonderful power flowing throughout my body . Like I was being held in a blanket of pure magic and ecstasy. My mind couldn't help imagine Gale kissing me. I mean he is pretty good looking, not gonna lie, he has these beautiful brown eyes that just seem to burn with his emotions….it's just…I don't really see myself with him…not when there's others who are capturing my attention much more ardently.’”

Octavia and Gale sat in an awkward silence for a few moments before the both of them broke out in a fit of laughter. The irony of Gale hitting on her at the night of the fundraiser coming back to them. “Guess it runs in the family then?” Octavia manages to say in the middle of her giggles, she wipes a tear at the corner of her eye and presses her hand to her cheek.

“That's so embarrassing, I'm so embarrassed for my great grandfather. What do they call that? Secondhand embassment?? Oh gods, have I apologized enough for that? I'm so sorry, I was so drunk.” Gale laughs and flips through the pages some more. He takes a drink and points out another passage.

He pushed the book onto Octavia’s hands, pointing to the paragraph in the middle of the page. Octavia begins to read it as Gale adjusted his reading glasses. “ Tonight, I had a little run in with the newest member of our little group. Turns out he's a vampire!” Octavia almost drops the book in her hands as Gale stares at her.

“Oh my GODS , no one ever mentioned a VAMPIRE in the party? Do you think Astarion knows who it is?? Do you think it could be someone connected to Cazador? I can't believe this..” Octavia’s hands tremble slightly as she looks down at the page.

“Octavia, there's no way he wouldn't know who it was, we could-” Gale begins to speak excitedly, but is cut off by Octavia who curtly responds, “No. We can't open up that old wound. You literally just gave me a whole lecture about respecting his boundaries, it seems very hypocritical of us to go prying into things when all we have is speculation.”

Gale nods and takes the book from her hands again. He flips for a minute until he lands on another passage mentioning the vampire in the group. “Here's another one..’ Tonight he seemed more distant…I figured that he was hungry again, but he didn't want to feed on my blood like the last couple of nights. Maybe I'll see what’s going on when he comes back.

I truly think there's something else going on with him, there's no way he can survive on the little he's been eating lately. Even with the abundant livestock and wild animals around. It seems that after Moonrise he's been pulling away from me more.

I thought it was just the whole thing with that creepy Drow lady or just being in the Shadow-cursed Lands messing with his head but…

I just don't know what to say or do anymore, we have to find out what this all means for him. I love him too much to let him down. We can figure this out together, I know we can.’ Huh, seems Tav was letting this vampire feed on her blood? Sounds like a terrible idea.” Gale passes the book back to Octavia, she places it on her lap and lets her mind wander.

She plays with the edge of the cover, letting the texture of the old leather ground her some. She starts to scratch at the corner with her nail, flicking the material until she feels it crack. Octavia gasps and stares down at the book.

“Octavia? What's wrong? Something else in there?” Gale looks back at her with concern. Octavia holds the book up as the cover separates from the corner. She glances back at Gale who throws his hands up in the air. They both stare at the book before Octavia rips the old leather cover off.

Gale gasps as if someone just slapped his mother, he clasps both hands on his mouth and shoots up on the couch. “What have you done?? That's a piece of history! We could have put that in the museum! I cannot believe you just destroyed-”

Octavia shoots him an annoyed look “Gale, I can destroy as many of my family heirlooms as I want. If you want to scold me on the historical integrity, you can do so after we solve this mystery. Now shut up and look at this!!”

She places the cover face up on the table, the crackled leather has evidence of I'm being tampered with previously. She placed the book cloth lined shell next to it and stared at the symbols and notes drawn all over both pieces.

‘eyes like knives that cut deep from within me. they sunk into me and never let me go. You must find out. I know that if you figured this out, you can find him and put this longing I've had to rest.’

Gale and Octavia stare at each other. In trying to solve one mystery it seems like they've uncovered possibly two more? From trying to find the subject in the paintings, the log book Astarion gave to Octavia, and now this secret that was hidden deep within the roots of Octavia’s family tree.

Octavia grabs her wine glass and throws back the rest of the liquid, swallowing with a hiss. Gale was preoccupied with the book cloth shell, he had his hands clasped together with two fingers sticking up in front of his lips. He had a look of quiet contemplation, serious and determined.

Gale hums and sighs, he sucks his teeth and leans back. “Something fucky is going on with this book…give me a little room.”

Suddenly he lifts both hands, placing them parallel to the table surface. He takes a few deep breaths, closes his eyes, and speaks words in a language Octavia has never heard before.

As he speaks, a faint lilac light surrounds the book and cover. The light begins to glow and pulse as Gale continues to speak. Octavia has no idea what the fuck is even happening but she's too stunned to speak. She watches as some faint words begin to rise up from the paper and cloth.

Gale finishes the spell and exhales shakily, he rolls his shoulders and places his hands down. He opens his eyes and looks at Octavia. She notices little bits of energy crackling along the tips of his hair. He shakes his head and she watches as the sparkles fly off and land in various places along her living room. “Sorry, I still haven't gotten the hang of controlling the energy blasts.”

Gale and Octavia laugh as he blows a little spark off the tip of his nose. He blinks rapidly and smiles at her bashfully. “Let's see what we uncovered, eh?” Octavia nods and turns to look back at the book.

On the spine of the book there were some glyphs drawn, Gale carefully picks up the book and inspects them. His brows shoot up in surprise, he looks at Octavia, his eyes wide as the plates in Octavia’s kitchen.

He turns to look at her, his expression completely astounded. “You have to see this.” He hands her the book as she looks at the cover. Along the spine she sees a string of words written in quick succession.

In this book, I have hidden my truth.

The words are there for you to find him.

I need to know what happened.

My star, my heart.

I await you in death.

However long it takes.

#bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #fic: memories of us #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 hc #bg3 head canon

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satancopilotsmytardis · 1 month

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Hiya! So, in one of your five point AU worldbuilding prompts, you came up with the idea of Shig and Dabi raising Shoto, and now that idea is living in my head, because that kid would be an absolute menace.😆 Just imagining: Shoto would start UA as a Level 20 Deadpan Snarker (thanks to Dabi) and no patience for bullshit, and then it would get worse. He'd already have a solid foundation in martial arts from training, but Shig would've taught him fun assassin tricks on top of that. And, just by living with those two, he'll know more about 'adult topics' than he probably should-- which he combines with the deadpan expression to bamboozle other adults (Midnight is the only one who thinks this is funny). All that, combined with a natural distrust for authority, and he'd be a hell-class all by himself. Then parent-teacher conference time rolls around.

Dabi: "Has he killed anyone yet?"

Aizawa: "W-What? No, of course not!"

Shig: "Then he's already exceeded our expectations. Can we go home now?"

Thank you for all the lovely AU stories, they were so fun to read and daydream about during work. 😅

Lol I hope I get a chance to work on this one some day, cause I definitely have it in my head that Shoto would have gotten in an actual fist fight with Bakugo on like day 1 of classes because he's such an asshole in early MHA.

He also has a habit of raising his hand during hero studies and being like, "That's the PR version of events. According to first-hand accounts, the hero broke 8 hero licensing ordinances, which caused injuries in one of the civilians on-site, which resulted in them needing life-long assisted care. He was sued for it, but the HPSC settled out of court so that the hero didn't lose his license."

He gets into so much trouble early on that he ends up being the "problem child" of class 1-A. And on one of the many trips that Dabi and Shig have to take to the school to fund out what's going on, Dabi asks why he's bothering to go to school to be a hero when clearly he's got all of the issues with heroes that they do. And Shoto tells him that if no one is around to hold the heroes to a higher standard among their own, then no one will ever manage to make them change

#tanco speaks #ask #asks

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adobe-outdesign · 2 months

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YOU ENDED UP GETTING ME INTO NEOPETS NOW SO WHAT R UR THOUGHTS ON JETSAM(S)? IM A SUCKER FOR SHARKS LOL SO IM RLY HOPING TO GET ONE AT SOME POINT

Jetsams are sharks, and are meant to be kind of a counterpart/natural predator to the dolphin-like Flotsam; to the point where the two looked near-identical. Nowadays there are more differences, with the Jetsam sporting two fins, sharp teeth, slightly different markings, and an upright posture. Personally, I like to think of these two as a case of mimicry, with the Jetsam having evolved to trick Flotsam from a distance.

Visually, the Jetsam has a nice tough look to it that gives it a lot of personality, and the way it sits upright plus the two fins gives it a bit more uniqueness so it isn't just a normal shark. My only issue with it is that the gray underbelly is a bit too dark and low-contrast. Gray as the accent color is fine; it just needed to be a lighter tint.

The Jetsam benefited quite a bit from customization, as its old art was starting to get very dated and needed a redraw anyway. The new Jetsam looks a little less tough, but the smile is nice as it shows off their teeth, and it gives them a fun kind of mischievous look. The overall look didn't change much, but the head has been changed significantly to have a much better, less wonky shape to it, and the markings now stop above the mouth instead of near the eyebrow. The shape of the hind fins have also been improved, and they're one of the only pets who can make the customization fists look good.

Favorite Colours:

Maraquan: How do you make an underwater version of something that already lives in the water? Make it into a deep-sea fish, obviously! The overall design is easily recognizable as a Jetsam, but its been given a horizontal posture with bioluminescence and an angler fish light/teeth. The palette is great, using neutral browns and greys for the body and bright neon blues for the accent color. My only nitpick with it is that the teeth feel a bit busy and don't quite make sense if you look at them too long, but overall, this is a great design.

Pastel: The pastel Jetsam is just plain pretty, using a soft pink and turquoise palette. What really makes it work is that instead of using flat colors, it employs subtle gradients so the turquoise becomes blue in areas and the pink gets some subtle highlights. On top of that, it's also given a sunlight-under-water ripple texture, with a few small speckles on areas like the eyebrows and tail. A lot of effort went into this design compared to your standard pastel pet, and it really paid off.

Toy: Alright yeah, this one's just fun. The pool floatie idea is a great concept that works perfectly for the colour, and the execution is also really solid, including lots of raised plastic ridges, seams, and plenty of highlights to give it that plastic look.

My only issue with it is that weird handle on the side of the head. I guess some shark toys have these, but I've never seen one personally and it honestly just looks distracting and kind of out of place. Also, I do wish it was semi-transparent (think like the good Jelly-coloured pets), but that's not a big deal. Still a really good colour regardless.

BONUS: The robot Jetsam has a mostly red and white palette with a few black accents, and it works really well for this pet. I love the visor, and the patterning on the fins is really neat. Both versions are fine; the UC/styled version looks a bit more robotic, but the customized version reads a bit better overall.

#neopets #neotag #neopet reviews #jetsam

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bitegore · 1 month

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@cleverthylacine re: this post and particularly the bit about reparative readings

(I think we're getting off topic and wanted to avoid clogging OP's feed lol)

I think there's a tendency toward what I can really only describe as call-to-action-to-Fix-Fandom attitudes when it comes to discussing any kind of -isms in fandom when, like. in my view it doesn't actually do anyone any good. Fandom is very big and people are small and largely the biases in society will be reflected in fandom no matter what we as individuals are up to, especially if we're up in arms because of A Post (fleeting, unserious motivation). I prefer to look at common forms of fannish misogyny where it crops up in my own behavior as an indicator of actual attitudes rather than some sort of checklist of Things To Fix In My Fannish Output. I care way, way more about treating the actual women in my life with respect and care than I do about the female fictional characters I think are fun to write about, you know?

So I like really don't trouble myself over whether or not I'm trying half as hard to read into female fictional characters as their make counterparts, I'm with you on that. Fandom is full of people who are enjoying their fictional women because they like them and not out of some misplaced sense of obligation. When I start doing fic and art with female characters it's because I like the characters, not because I'm compensating. But I like having discrepancies pointed out because it helps me set my barometer for what I might be fucking up with my actual friends and acquaintances in real life, which I think is a lot more important and generally relevant to my life anyway.

This is a lot of words to say 'i'm with you' - not only do i think no one should be obligated to do reparative readings on female characters just because it 'evens it out' or w/e, but honestly I think it's an active distraction from the part of the problem worth caring about, which is that it shows a bias in thinking.

I don't really know. As much as I enjoy fandom and it's a big part of my life, I'm pretty intimately aware it's not that important on the grand scale of things. And as much as I enjoy fiction, i'm of the impression that it reveals more about us than we think it does, so even if you do everything on the list to Eradicate All Traces Of Misogyny, the misogyny will keep sneaking back in until you just... are not writing women with misogyny in your heart and mind. It's a barometer for personal improvement more than anything else, the way I look at things. And certainly in concept but I'd like to also hope in reality, I like having the knowledge toward where I can try to be better instead of flying blind. If I stop being misogynistic, then my fic will be less misogynistic too, but like, I have so many better reasons to not want to be misogynistic!

I also think pressuring people to change the things they have fun with for the sake of Not Being a Bigot (prescriptive, & according to my handy-dandy list which I will hand down from on high...) tends to piss me specifically off, and I like to live by a standard of "not enough significant statistical variance from the mean exists in me to consider this a wholly unique behavior or attitude" so I would also assume that other people feel much the same way. So i also don't like to treat any "xyz is misogynistic" as a hard fast rule anyway, because then I'll get mad and start doing it out of spite while also aiming to make it not misogynistic somehow, which might spawn ideas but doesn't really do me or anyone else any good anyway. (That's definitely not a universal issue and i wouldn't be shocked if there are people who badly want the list because it makes them feel more comfortable writing or something; good for them, we're in totally different categories vis a vis fannish bigotry and how we can work on not doing it and the approaches we take will have to reflect that.)

I had one other thing but I think I forgot it. Uhhh something something it's harder to do reparative readings to compensate for misogynistic writing than it is to do it for flat writing with male characters because a lot of the time it either requires you to work with stereotypes you don't like or to outright dismiss elements of characterization and many of us don't want to do either, when background whiteguys tend to just have a handful of extremely neutral traits and nothing else; this is also part of why it can be hard to do the same for characters of color or characters that are clearly meant to be homophobic stereotypes or whatever, I won't fault anyone for not wanting to put their hands in that. nWFC Elita is a pretty good example of that, honestly - I don't remember a lot about the show because I didn't like it and i watched it one time several years ago lol, but I remember walking away with the impression we were supposed to think of her as Optimus's nagging wife, and annoying and overly negative, even though she was right on all counts every fucking time. I'm not writing nWFC-continuity fic because i have absolutely no interest in doing so, and I don't particularly want to carry that characterization over to any other continuity because - why would I? I like Elita-1 better in basically everything else, and she is broadly always Pretty Damn Competent (at least in theory). But in nWFC i can square the circle by comparing her cynicism to, like, Ratchet, who is equally convinced Optimus is making all the wrong moves. Suddenly she doesn't have to be the annoying nag, she's the last lone voice of real legitimate pushback in Autobot HQ, which has been bleeding dissenters as they're ignored, or whatever. And honestly I do like that. But contrast it with, uhhhh... trying to pick a random character here idk it's cheating if i pick bayverse characters... idk let me pick on IDW. If you want to work with the female character from All Hail Megatron, whose name I can't remember but who I genuinely liked, you have to deal with the fact that she falls head over heels for Spike fucking Witwicky right after meeting him and that her job is largely to deliver motivational speeches to the more important male background characters whose names I also can't remember. You absolutely can read depth into her, and I do because I think it's interesting that there's a character who lives through a horrifically traumatic upending of her life and then realizes that the only way everyone will survive is to stick together and immediately makes it her job to make sure they do, but, like, "woman exists as footstool for man's power & place in the plot" is one of the oldest misogynistic tropes in the book. I wouldn't blame literally anyone for not wanting to work around that, and it's... literally her entire role in the plot, so it's also really fucking hard to try and read out or compensate for. I genuinely do not think she even speaks to another woman in the entire comic. I think my point got muddied in the miles of examples; my thinking is that at the end of the day no one is getting paid for this and I don't think it's really an even playing field between male and female characters to reparatively-read-into anyway.

Last final thing is that the tropes that interest me in a character don't often tend to be done in female characters or when they're approached they take on distinctly misogynistic overtones. i really like characters who talk a big game, brag often, are deeply vain, and are not actually half as good as they claim they are... "woman thinks she has skills and is really good at things, but is Put In Her Place by a Man" is also one of my least favorite tropes ever. It's hard to work around that. There's just not much you can do when an entire concept has been all but poisoned for you.

inb4 "he said its ok to be a misogynist!" he said its important to focus on real life & fixing your heart first instead of hoping other people will tell you what not to write to look like you're not a misogynist ^-^

#i think i went in circles through this #im writing it on my phone so it's hard to reread lol #so i'm trying to make sure i make all the points i wanted to make #red rambles

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gravegrime · 1 year

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I remember sharing this thought on twitter about storytelling as a meme like a month ago and ever since then I’ve wanted to expand on it somewhere that had the character limit for it. Somewhere like here! lol

This is a long one lads so feel free to skip on by if you’re not interested in all the very opinionated things I have to say.

Storytelling fills me with a firey passion that very little else does. Being whisked away to a world full of interesting people I can observe going about their lives is something I don’t think I can ever get tired of. With this passion, as it always does for me, comes a deep desire to analyze and understand the process on a fundemental level. This process of discover has lead me down an interesting path that I feel many in the communities I swim will find controversial; which is a shame because I do believe the conclusions I’ve come to are true and correct.

I lead my little rant with this preamble because I want anyone who ends up reading this to know that I’m not here out of malice or contempt for the artform. Storytelling is my life and I feel that people’s good intentions may be hurting the craft as a whole. If you do end up reading the whole thing feel absolutely feel to argue against me or whatever you want. Having and breeding discussion is something else I live for!

On this journey I’ve had analyzing the storytelling craft I’ve come to the conclusion that there are things about storytelling that are good practices and bad practices. I wholeheartedly reject the pervasive ideas in the art and writing community that there is not better or worse story and everything is just different. Honestly I’m a bit insulted by the notion. You should have pride in your craft and try to hold the quality of your work high! If you feel your stories don’t reach that quality bar you’re looking for work to get better at what you do! I don’t understand how someone could claim to, ‘strive to always be a better story teller’ while also believing stories have no intrinsic values outside of what an individual reader might feel about the work. The only conclusion that can be came to is that stories do have intrinsic qualities within them that can be judged accordingly.

Of course this invites the idea that because people value different things their standards for what makes a good story would differ. This is true but only on a scale of personal enjoyment. I propose that there is a standard one can apply to their work outside of individual enjoyment that can be used to judge the quality of a work.

Much like in carpentry you’d judge the quality of a chair based on it’s materials, sturdiness, and mastery of the craft, you can also judge a story by a similiar metric. Consistency is king when it comes to stories. Rules not being broken is essential to not having stakes and payoffs fall flat. Characters need to stay consistent to their ideals and goals if there is to be a character at all. Goals and ideals can shift over the course of a story of course, but how well crafted a transition is entirely predicated on the consistency of the information we’re provided. It would be poor storytelling to have a character randomly shift goals without some established impetus. Storytelling quality is essentially how well one can juggle consistency with the complexity of the story they’re telling. It seems perfectly reasonable if you had two stories that are equally consistent but one is more complex it would be a better work because they achieved more.

I can, and likely will at some point, go on for hours and hours and hours about how complex and intricate the craft of storytelling is. Like I said it’s one of my biggest passions. I think I’ll leave this little rant establishing my basic standard here though. I hope it might spark some interesting discussions about the craft or at least give someone some food for though :)

#ramble #writing #storytelling #thoughts #I think a lot about this shit #genuinely believe if you start looking at this stuff as a craft with objective good and bad executions your writing will improve #not a fan of the constant demand for positivity that persists in the art world #how many times am I going to have to edit this for spelling mistakes I wonder?

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biconickyoshi · 29 days

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ive already put a comment on ur fic but i couldnt let it go without saying that i *literally* cant watch the main show without thinking about your fic and i wish that i could like. watch a version of the show that was your fic xD like ive been ranting and raving to my friends the entire time id been reading it and telling them to read it and i was planning on trying to get back into art so i could make some art of the boys, i am like. a changed person. this will be living in the back of my head rent free for the rest of eternity LMAO if you ever get like, doubtful of your skills or anything or unsure if people actually like anything youve wrote, i am here to tell u to not be cus i am *living* for this fic im running around in circles rereading it and getting zoomies lmfao, it is literally one of my fave fics of all time and ive been in fandom spaces for half my life now, its THAT GOOD (also anyone who follows you, you guys need to go read it honestly, IT NEEDS MORE HITS AND KUDOS AND AAAAGFAHGAF) im sorry if this ask is dumb or anything but. i had to let u know that u have CHANGED ME lmfao keep up the good work! i wish my brain worked the way yours does xD

Aaaaa it's so flattering to hear all of this anon!!! T-T Thank you so much!! I too very much wish there was a version of my show that was my fic lmao, I would loveeee to see so many scenes animated! Also it makes me SO happy to know that you're telling your friends about The Avatar and the Fire Prince!!! If you ever draw any fan art, pleaseeee mention me in the post and feel free to use "the avatar and the fire prince" and/or "taatfp" as a tag to help me find it! :)

Thank you so much for the encouraging words as well - I try not to get too in my head with worrying about whether or not people will like what I have planned for future plotlines, or if I'm writing in a way that stays true to the spirit/plot of the OG show while still being different enough to be entertaining/engaging... AtLA is such a precious piece of media to me, so I hold myself to very high standards, which can be detrimental when I just want to get a chapter out but I keep rereading it and finding little things "wrong" that need to be fixed lol.

Anyways this is NOT a dumb ask at all anon! I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to send this to me, and I apologize for not getting to it sooner! I've been a bit swamped with asks and comments recently so I've been trying to answer them in small chunks at a time haha

Hope you have a great day, and I'm super excited for you to see what I have planned for the future of TAatFP! :) <3

#asks #my fic #the avatar and the fire prince #taatfp #zukaang #atla #atla au #atla fic

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citylawns · 2 months

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World doesnt need the beauty standard saying how poor they are for being the standard as much as it doesnt need millionaires saying how bad they have it with packed wallets

I would switch places with you in a heartbeat if I could but instead Im stuck with the reflection i hate and half of my life taken away by disordered eating and shame but go off queen, tell us how bad you have it for being skinny

Hi there ! I’m sorry you’re feeling this agony about yourself - eating disorders are truly insidious and I’ve got many friends who have survived them and had experience myself.

But anyway, you have definitely misread or misunderstood something I’ve said ! I have never claimed, nor do I think, that it’s “hard” being skinny! Thats not to say it’s not without many issues and my reactions and frustrations about how people talk about my body are real, but I’m very much aware of the way different women’s bodies are treated online and in public. if you have a look through my blog you’ll see I’ve said time and time again how I am privileged for thinness and how my face and body have literally made me money as a model as well as speaking about the odd relationship to this with the bad experiences I’ve had (sexual assault from an employer).

I’m guessing you’ve been confused by this post? It was referring to the fact I don’t post photos of myself because of the way my appearance becomes the focus from my online audience instead of the things I spend more time talking about and posting like music and literature and art. I’m tired of talking about politics then being asked for weight loss tips. It’s crazy because idk why people think I would condone starvation given everything I have been through and write about on here??? I am frustrated when people praise me for my body because I make no effort with it and don’t think there should be such things as beauty standards, that make women compete with each other and form a hierarchy. This obviously doesn’t mean it’s “hard” being skinny, it’s just true that there are negative experiences when as a woman you’re trying to say something important or show your creative work and you’re just continually reduced to your body. It’s very misogynist. Because of this any femme presenting person finds their appearance becomes their focus from their audience online - no matter what we post.

My emotions about people (often female customers and girls with eating disorders) commenting horrible things about my weight are real and are allowed to be shared on my personal blog that is about me and my experiences. But just sharing my personal experience is very obviously not an insinuation that there is any structural disadvantage of being thin! It’s a structural disadvantage of being a woman - and within that there are always women who have lived experiences both better and worse than you. Again, im completely positive you’ve misread something because it would be very odd tell someone they aren’t allowed to talk about how patriarchy and ED culture affects them lol

You can see these posts if you scroll through my blog but I’ve recently explained I don’t give out appearance tips because 1. I don’t do anything/find it boring and redundant to talk about given it’s the only thing the world wants to talk about, but more importantly 2. Systematic privilege allows me to be low maintenance and it would be hypocritical of me to pretend otherwise !

I hope that’s cleared things up!! ❤️

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calebs-hangout-corner · 4 months

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(Long happy/?? rant incoming. Sorry, I just saw your account and had to talk to someone about this)

Ough. I've been thinking about when I read the original The Ghost Next Door book and it honest-to-God changed my mind or something because no book I've read so far is as of high reputation in my mind as that. Maybe it was because I was younger and hadn't read as much, but I have had it in my head for like a month now to Get That Book for myself. My school library has like twenty or so of the books but not that one!! When I saw the Goosebumps collection I was like "NO WAYYYY" but then I got really disappointed when it wasn't there. I need to ask the librarian if they can get it LOL.

Anyway, I remembered it again after going through a nostalgia blog and I searched the tag. Lo and behold, there was your blog! I don't remember any of the other plots very well (from the ones I read; the bookshelf where I originally read it was TINY and barely ever had GB books), nor any of the characters aside from Hannah and Danny, but nevertheless I'm enjoying your Goosebumps art and content a lot. Btw your art style is awesome. :D

I'm now desperate to find somewhere to watch the original 90's show. I've seen it's on Google Play or whatever and Microsoft, but I need to look into that. Help is appreciated, if you know where.

But I guess my question is: what books do you recommend? I like both the standard and the choose your own adventure ones (idk if there are any others). I read/started reading The Haunted Mask, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, Welcome to Camp Nightmare, The Ghost Next Door (duh), Let's Get Invisible, Monster Blood, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, The Girl Who Cried Monster (I think. That's the one where the guy eats the bugs or whatever, right?), Escape From Camp Run-for-Your-Life, You Can't Scare Me, Scream of the Evil Genie and/or Be Careful What You Wish For (one of them, lol, maybe both. I think it involved a cola can?).

Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks for reading this long-as-hell ask and also thank you if you respond! Obviously, no pressure. Hope you have a great week and good things come your way!

P.S., you got me to start listening to the Goosebumps the Musical: Phantom of the Auditorium soundtrack and it's so good.

-👻🪐 (I hope emoji anons are okay, just in case there's a follow-up ask or something)

Hello!!! This message is very sweet and I had fun reading it, thank you! I'm sorry it took me a day to respond, I was a little busy!

I hope you're successful in finding the book. My library has the opposite problem: It has no books except Ghost Next Door (germany doesn't really sell them anymore, so they're hard to come by, even in libraries). Also, all the Goosebumps episodes you can find on YouTube somewhere! There's many reuploads of them.

As for books I'd recommend, you've already read a few of the ones I really like! But if you need more my favorites you haven't read from the series' you mentioned liking include:

- Phantom of the Auditorium (but like the book version! Very good, very fun, really emphasises the "the gang shares one braincell" part)

- Werewolf Skin

- Calling All Creeps

- Night of the Living Dummy 1 and 2, I've heard the third is good too but that one actually didn't manage to hold my attention, but maybe it will for you!

- Welcome To Dead House (This one's fun)

- Piano Lessons Can Be Murder (I just think it's neat)

- A Night In Terror Tower (Again, I just think it's neat!!), This one also has a "Give Yourself Goosebumps" sequel book "Return To Terror Tower) I recommend aswell!

- Beware, The Snowman!

As for the Give Yourself Goosebumps books I'm like "Please Don't Feed The Vampire"

Those are the books I'm fond of. It's a bit of a list, I hope you don't mind!

#goosebumps #burtle screms

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verawhisk · 1 year

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my drawing process (thank you @pepper-ika!)

i draw and colour for a long long time. i don't do the traditional sketch + lineart + colour -- sketches are hard to line, they're kind of time-consuming and usually they end up better than the lineart, so i just draw like normal and clean it up before colouring. i start at the head and end at around the feet, kinda like a person showering (lol). here i'm using your typical pencil brush you can find in any standard art program.

a tip i got from another artist was to colour using a thick, opaque pen brush that varies a lot in width. it saves a Lot of time. before they showed me that, i made the mistake of using a soft, painterly brush to colour my art. it hurt my wrist because i had to press really hard to get flat colour -- when all that time i could have just been using a pen brush! also, i start with soft colours because they're nicer to look at.

2. i do colourful midtones like redness in the skin or maybe a blue five o clock shadow if they have one. from this point onward, i use a flat square-ish brush combined with a painterly smudger and a soft airbrush.

i read somewhere that you should apply perfume on the moistest parts of your body so i kind of use that same idea when drawing redness. usually i do it where skin meets skin: folded arms, a crunched back, closed hands, and that place where the thighs touch the buttcheeks, lolol. and of course: the nose, lips, and ears. it makes the skin look real and warm and lively!

3. i lay down my shadows and lights, usually in that order. and at this point, i'm throwing extra shadow on wrinkles, fat, bumps, lumps, etc. a body without rolls is like an angel without wings!

also i smudge like CRAZY here. just like how it's impossible to have "too much gravy" on your chicken, it's impossible to have "too much blending" when you're drawing skin. blend that ish.

when it comes to the colour of the shadows, i always make shadows the base colour but darker and more saturated, and i move the hue a little to the left (for example: orange goes to red, green goes to yellow, purple goes to blue). i do that with, like, every colour. i can't tell if it's lazy or not but at this point i'm too scared to ask.

4. finally i make some minor adjustments like liquifying to fix lopsided eyes or oversized heads/hands. when i was in high school, my art teacher would say "great, but watch the size of the feet, hands, and neck," lolol. he was right ofc. when i go "hm... that looks a little weird," i have to trust that gut feeling because when i do fix it, it ends up looking way better. here is a horrifying gif illustrating that.

AHH!!!

alternatively you could do a messy line and color, then do a whole paintover like i did here. this is awesome for details because you dont have to go back and change the lineart - you just paint over and add whatever you want and redraw the line to fit it.

i dont really use the different layer modes that much. in this one i used a gradient map of the drawing as an overlay. idk if that really does anything major but it does create a new range of colors to play with. i also used a multiply layer to cast a big shadow over the card (layer 8) because it has this tiiiny little pattern that would be a pain in the butt to draw shadows over. everything else is pretty standard.

(and no i dont name my layers... yes i will be changing my name and moving countries)

another thing worth noting: i use airbrushing A LOT. i remember reading somewhere that using airbrushes is like. a cardinal sin. it’s not, man. it’s great. airbrushes and smudging are dope and i use them all the time.

i hope you found this helpful! have a great weekend <3

#long post #art tutorial #art tips #my art

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wundrousarts · 1 year

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hi I hope this doesn’t sound like a demand lol but I love how you draw jupiter and I hope you draw him more

your art is so cool by the way I really like your character lineup 🥺

Thank you so much!! I literally never draw Jupiter, on account of my inability to draw 1. adult men and 2. beards, BUT it’s something I need to / want to get better at. The only other time I’ve drawn him was that lineup which I did super quick, so it was fun to try and think of an actual design so I can try to draw him more!

[ID: Three half-colored digital sketches of Jupiter North from Nevermoor. They show him as a kid with messy hair, a young adult with a mullet and mustache, and an adult with longer hair and a fuller beard. End ID.]

Details on my Jupiter design / headcanons (?) for his life under the cut:

I started with the middle— in my layers, I dubbed him to be “teen” Jupiter, originally intending for him as a senior scholar, but as time went on I figured he was more like, early 20s young adult Jove. The Wunsoc sweater is just still there on the adults because I didn’t want to redraw <3

I feel like Wunsoc, especially with Dearborn and Murgatroyd prowling the halls, holds its student’s appearances to a certain standard. Sure, society members are representatives of the society for the rest of their lives once they graduate, but their time in school is their first introduction to that life. It's their debut as society members. We see this in a lot of stuff with Holliday, in Hollowpox and in the one Silverborn snippet, how she's manufacturing an image for Mog and co. and physical appearance plays a part in it.

Going with this: I feel like Wunsoc would expect their students to keep their appearance clean and approachable somewhat. Jupiter gives me a vibe of the kid who had a crazy growth spurt, and was able to grow a beard before graduating– BUT I don't know if Wunsoc (really just the Scholar Mistresses) would be crazy for that. So I imagine that he's relatively clean-shaven for the most part, nowhere near modern Jove, and then starts to grow out his facial hair a bit more as a senior scholar where I imagine things would lax a bit, and then just commit fully to growing a beard once he properly graduates.

So young adult Jupiter is perhaps in his early 20s, a somewhat recent Wunsoc graduate. I'm a mullet Jupiter truther, where his hair is longer in the back, and had to represent that. Younger Jove's is messier and more fun; he's not too concerned about his image as he hasn't quite reached that laundry list of titles and accolades yet.

Present-day adult Jupiter is still rocking the mullet style, just now it's longer and styled a bit more professionally. But let's be real– it doesn't stay this way. It totally gets easily messed up from his hats, and Jove loves to have fun and entertain people, Plus, he's a busy man, constantly stressed and running around. While the hair here might be great for say, a formal meeting or a magazine cover, the hair most folks end up seeing him with tends to be a bit more wild. He definitely starts to resemble his younger self's hair more after a rowdy night or a stressful endeavor.

Kid Jupiter– not much to say here, tbh. I figured I'd stick with the longer hair he has as an adult, kinda rowdy. Not a mullet yet, though! I was thinking of the part in Nevermoor where he starts talking about the rules he broke and stuff he got up to as a Wunsoc student, and how Hawthorne started taking notes, and made his hair similar to the rowdy hair of our favorite bestie. However, while Hawthorne's hair is curly, I'm of the belief that Jupiter's hair is definitely pretty straight. So no curlicues for him </3

Hopefully now that I've started to nail down a design for Jupiter, I can draw him more!! I always have soooo many Nevermoor ideas circling around in my brain. I love thinking about designs for various characters and the reasonings behind different aspects of their appearance.

#asks #nevermoor #nevermoor fanart #jupiter north #I have an issue of drawing super small on super large canvases so. sorry for blurry screenshot lol #my references board was just. ewan mcgregor and domhnall gleeson lol. heavy on him tbh #if you saw this in the discord I moved the eye highlights. no reason other than vibes. idk how they work tbh it’s just for fun.#I can always expand on my general philosophies (?) for when it comes to drawing characters progressing thru time #/ at different stages of their lives. I have lots of thoughts.#it's easier to apply to adult characters like squall + jupiter and then characters with active development throughout the series like mog #meanwhile other characters like 919 and etc haven't really been through anything Revolutionary yet that I feel would change how I draw them #anyways I'd love to elaborate if anyone has any Qs. was gonna include in this but didn't want to hide it under a cut after a jupiter ramble #i really need to post more nevermoor art. I look on here and realize I've actually barely done much lol.#but also I'm the busiest person alive and never draw and just think abt it so. oops. 🤷

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bogkeep · 1 year

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Do you have any advice or resources on pricing commissions/commissions in general? I've been thinking of starting comms

I hope this is an okay thing to ask lol

PS: luv ur art!

for resources, there's this video (subtitled but not transcribed sorry) which lays it out really well! there used to be a really good twitter thread by yoshi yoshitani, but it seems to be deleted.

here's some general experience/advice:

- IN A PERFECT WORLD we would all price our commissions well and fairly and comparable to industry standard, buuuuuut i get why most of us don't. compared to industry standard my $130 character portraits are also underpriced, and while i AM steadily upping my prices (my first comms were $40 for a fully colored and shaded fullbody. oof) 1) i need to consider what audience i have and who will be able to commission me, and 2) i mostly do commissions for some extra pocket money, not to make a living. i think my prices are comparable to many fellow internet artists in the same sphere.

- the way i price my commissions are that the MINIMUM amount needs to be the amount i have to be paid to feel like a commission is worth doing (taking into account my limited amount of time and energy to work on art, if i take paid $50 but then spend several days to complete it i will grow resentful and stretch myself too thin for too little), and the MAXIMUM is "at what point will the price paralyze me because i feel like I don't feel like i can make something worth that amount."

- working on a commission WILL take longer than just working on a Fun Piece For Yourself, both because you're putting in extra effort trying to make it worth the money you're given, and because you will spend time communicating with your client. you will get a better grip on your timeframe after you have more experience doing commissions.

- you're not just taking paid for the art itself, but client communications, your experience and expertise which has taken years to build, revisions, tools, etc.

- something they JUST told us in clock school: sometimes you get clock repairs that cost less than your quote and you might feel bad about this, but you will definitely do clock repairs that cost a lot more than your quote. THIS IS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, THIS IS HOW YOU BREAK EVEN. when you give a quote at the beginning you don't know how much the work is going to take and estimates are always rough, but you're using your time and expertise to offer a service and you need money to live.

- your prices/quote can have wriggle room like "will cost X amount but Y for Extra Detailed Stuff Like Wings/Fancy Outfit/Background Detail"

- don't offer commissions you don't wanna do! i used to offer a wide range of styles and price categories, including some really cheap sketch options, and i don't Regret doing those per se but nowadays i only offer a narrowed down selection. I don't have time to do fullbodies with full backgrounds, so even if it's something i CAN do and people WOULD pay me for, I don't HAVE to do that.

- its okay, encouraged even, to adjust your prices as you go along and get more experienced at doing commissions. it's pretty normal to start out with low prices to get the hang of it (tattoo apprentices do tattoos for lower prices unil they're done with their training, and doing commissions is its own skill)

- if someone thinks your prices are too high, you don't want them as your clients to begin with. dealing with shitty commissioners is rarely worth the pay, and higher prices tend to result in better and more respectful clients.

i hope im not forgetting something hope this helps

#art advice #I NEED TO GET UP FOR SCHOOL NOW BYE

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multiplicity-positivity · 1 year

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Hi so hoping i can get some temporary advice... (uncomfortable joining servers, not at point i can share w therapist lol.)

a few weeks ago we decided to test if we were actually multiple/being influenced externally by suppressing switches as much as possible, deleting all mentions of alters like their art, names, pictures they saved but host didn't, etc. Bad news: Switches continued to happen, but now with more identity confusion and stress! 🙃 so we're fed up with that and want to be able to actually Be Ourselves now. Problem: we forgot how to. Before, it was sortof automatic- we knew what we looked like and who we were, but after that "test", we don't know who's who, who wants what. Like we're stuck masking as the same one person. We don't know if someone is new or coming back, and its majorly confusing. Do you have any ideas on how a system can solidify themselves and be more confident after masking? (please give advice that's traumagenic/cdd centric.)

Oof, sounds like you’re in a pretty tough spot. Our host spent much of our life suppressing the rest of us, and it has caused great harm and left scars that we’re not sure will ever heal.

You likely already know this, but in case you or anyone else doesn’t, suppressing alters and taking away their agency and autonomy can have devastating consequences. It can build walls, destroy trust, decrease communication, increase identity confusion, solidify masking, and cause headmates to harbor hurt, resentment, and anger against the one suppressing them. Undoing something like this will take time and patience!

We ourselves are still working to unmask and actively undo the harm our host caused in the past, and here’s how we’re going about that:

- accept each other at face value, no strings attached.

As each alter relearns who they are and is given the opportunity to explore their identities, they may act or look different than they used to. They may feel comfortable acting or looking similarly to other alters. Don’t hold each other to old standards, and don’t attempt to control or dictate how your alters present or choose to live. Accepting alters as they are means accepting them along with their identity confusion, along with the masking and everything else. It’s okay for alters to exist this way. Trying to force someone to change will only make things worse.

- provide alters with a wide variety of options for self expression.

Create spaces for your alters to express themselves, be it in journals, notes, or art, through online means like social media, websites, and blogs, or in other ways that will benefit your system. Allow each alter to have input and share what could allow them to explore their identities and express themselves freely. If you have the means, let different alters experiment with new hobbies and fashion tastes. You can start small, like getting a hat for a particular alter or setting up a System Google Doc, and take baby steps from there.

- make regular attempts to communicate and hold conversations.

Even if it feels forced, or fake, or one-sided, or hopeless, or anything else. Don’t. Stop. Attempting. Communication. Communicating is the most important way to build trust within the system. It may feel wonky or awkward at first - it’s crucial to push through this stage. Try communicating inside by projecting thoughts and see if someone responds. Leave notes for your alters in your journals, notebooks, and documents. Reassure them that you care and want to handle things better in the future.

- adopt an inner tone of voice that is compassionate to yourself and your alters.

Alters can often pick up on tone inside. If you’re treating yourself harshly, snapping or lashing out at yourself, holding yourself up to ridiculous expectations, and beating yourself up for simple mistakes… chances are, your alters are picking up on that. Having a mean inner voice can make alters wary of speaking up or expressing themselves. They may feel like they have to pretend to be you in order to avoid getting hurt. Treating yourself with kindness will ultimately help you treat your alters with kindness, and treating each other well is a great way to maintain a safe, comfortable environment inside.

- seek outside help for accountability.

If you’re out to anyone about your system, maybe share your difficulties with them. Ask them to help call you out if they notice you denying your system or invalidating your alters. It can be hard to commit to positive change by yourself, so having some support may in turn help you better support your system! We’ll always advocate for therapy (and a therapist could really help you navigate this!) but anyone could probably help keep you on track, whether or not they’re a mental health professional.

- set up a safety plan to avoid something like this in the future.

Work with your system to come up with a safety plan. This can be unique to your system, and can outline what you can do to prevent yourself from suppressing your system or falling back into old habits. Set up measures to prevent yourself from erasing or deleting evidence of alters - respect their boundaries, space, and creations! Leave reminders for yourself around to let you know that your system is real, your alters have value, and if you’re in a safe environment, there’s no need to mask or attempt to hide the others.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, but hopefully it’s enough to get you and your system started in the right direction! We really know learning to unmask and return autonomy to alters can be quite challenging. We believe in you, though! Thanks so much for reaching out - best of luck to you and your system with everything!

🌸 Margo and 🐢 Kip

#denial #self doubt #masking #unmasking #identity confusion #communication #building trust #long post

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jackie-mae · 1 month

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Intro Post/ FAQ

Name: Jackie, Mae, or anything in-between!

Pronouns: Mostly She/Her but do whatever the hell you want/pos :p

Time zone: Canadian and live at eastern standard time (EST) but I used to live on the west coast (PST) so my post time can fluctuate if I wanna get some of my friends attention lol

Blurb: I’m a Illustrator/Animator drawing for a variety of fandoms while also trying to expand my skills in original art while also slowly developing a Webcomic with fellow mutual @catzgam3rz!

I post mainly art here (I have a terrible habit of not reblogging things xp) But if you're only here for one thing (IE. My 1tau for Zelda) please be aware I’ll post other fandom art and a string of non-fandom centric pieces doesn’t mean I’ve dropped the fandom entirely.

LINKTREE: Found here! Where to find me elsewhere (But Tumblr is where I’m most responsive lol)

COMMISSIONS: Currently CLOSED But hoping to open up at the end of April

ETSY: I have an Etsy! Found here! Mostly a few stickers and Prints of fandom works but planning to have more prints available soon!

ART PERMISSIONS/ART FAQ/ LEGEND OF ZELDA SPECIFIC FAQ BELOW

ART PERMISSIONS / ART FAQ

Can I use your art as a pfp? - So long as it’s with credit absolutely!

Can I make dubs/ readings of your fan comics? - Again, So long as you credit me I’m totally down! I’d love to see anything made with my art but that’s not a requirement!

Can I make art with your designs? - Yes! I would love to see it if you do!

What programs do you use? – For illustrations I use Clip Studio Paint EX. And if you see any animations most likely I’ll have used Toon Boom Harmony Advanced 21

Your art looks familiar, have you done work for other fandoms? – Most art I do can be found on this blog but I have also done art and had a sideblog for the Warrior cats series. And I also have a tiktok where I post mostly Genshin Impact related comics. On this blog specifically you’ll find old Dream smp/ Philza, Pokemon, and Zelda art!

I’m happy to answer any other questions! feel free to shoot me an ask whenever!

LEGEND OF ZELDA FAQ: As the one timeline AU as I’ve named it has gained a fair amount of popularity heres a few questions I’ve been asked about it

What is the 1tau?: The 1Tau (One timeline AU) Is a legend of Zelda alternate universe I made where the timeline of the Zelda universe has been molded to fit into one line instead of the branching routes of canon. It’s also a Links Meet AU because those are cool!

Where can I read it?: Unfortunately this is the only place you’ll find material for this Au, FOR NOW AT LEAST! I have been known to dabble in fanfiction so it’s not out of the question some stories might pop up.

Do you have a story planned for this AU?: Kinda? But mostly it’s just character-focused interactions. I’m not a fan of writing super dark or introspective Zelda, *I lean more toward Hurt/Comfort, found family vibes in these parts~

Is there a Sideblog for this AU?: Not at the moment but that might b e something I'll look into if it becomes hard to navigate within my main blog

Can I use your character designs: Please do with credit! And optimally with me tagged so I can see your work~

Can I send you art of this AU: PLEASE PLEASE DO I’D LOVE TO SEE IT!!!

#intro post #introduction #blog intro #might as well make one of these #Makes this blog look semi-professional lol #mae rants #faq #1tau

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 3 months

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Old Heart 2 New Heart : Learning & Growing

You see that beautiful body of water? And the art that is this picture is what inspired me to write this. I hadn’t looked at this picture in ages. I almost forgot I had so many from 2020. The world was said to be ending, after all.

I had on this turtle necklace. Which I loved with my heart. Along with the beautiful baby turtle I had named Nina Athena. lol. The turtle stood for moving slow, and taking your time. I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me til today. Which I thought of way before the idea of writing this came up.

But in this moment, I took a leap of faith. One I wouldn’t forget for a while. And I learned so much along the way.

It inspired me because in 2020 I opened a door when I decided to chose heartbreak than to stay with my ex. I broke up with him right on v-day weekend. I just couldn’t do it anymore. At that moment a lot of things changed around me. My home, we ended up moving somewhere far better.

My health, changed for the better. My relationship with food was different, I wasn’t so nippy with what I’d eat.

My body and appearance, I started glowing! And I felt happier. I wanted to live and I got it.

So what’s different now? And what’s changing?

So moments after the year had ended, I found myself going through flows and waves of changes I had not seen coming.

For the first time in years, I found freedom, change and hope to be something less fearful. And yet still I couldn’t stay afloat with what it was showing me.

When I broke up with my ex, he was the first person I dated. And I really wanted to stay with him. But I realized things were better off broken than consistently trying to fix them. So this is when I cut the snip. And started reflecting on my past.

This was a screenshot I got from an old tumblr account, which I honestly regret deleting. Lmao.

Well I do and I don’t. But it was time for a new life. I decided to delete it to find something new. And here I am..

But just reading what I wrote. I felt like that not too long ago. But now I’ve got the grip of it and started moving forward with better mind.

How did I do it? Again and again? Is it not exhausting ?

Like having to shift your perspective a lot seems daunting. But in this case hope is still keeping me alive . So god bless.

I came a long way. I tell myself. I gotta pick myself up when I’m down. Before that picture was taken. Many months of hell was shaping my perspective into heaven. I was hurting inside while making peace with everything in the world. From COVID, to the pandemic, the fear and anxiety trying to suck me in, heart break, paranoia, the protests.. everything was shaping me into my heaven. I would not stop me from making it to a peaceful state of mind.

Life was beautiful. And still is.

The impact 2020 had on me is still shaping the little girl that was still old enough to do what she wanted.. she just didn’t realize it yet.

And now she’s grown up, and having a more realistic approach to society and living beyond standards that were brought to shape her perception of thinking.

She’s grew out of it. And makes new waves to overstay its welcome.

I may not know much, but I know a lot. I know that peace is a birth right, and not something I gotta fight for. So this year being the theme of prosperous peace and enlightenment I get to flow in my abundance and rejoice in my connections with Mother Nature.

Im pretty sure that my life is changing. Just not in the ways I had hope. Its stupid to believe that everything is suppose to go my way, but I still kept trying. No worries, I'm learning to figure it out. I'm just open to a better life, you know?

As I open my heart, I know its not I'm ungrateful. Just unsure with where all this leads. Why I just can't grasp the concept, or just don't like trying. See.. there's that word. I really hate trying, especially if its not something I want or care about.

But in the world, there will be a lot of things we have to do that we just don't care about. And that's why life throws you the lemon, and you just gotta make your own lemonade.

So when I learned to let go of my expectations, I desired a new set of tears, the pain had gone away and I could see something new on the horizon. My tears became joyful tears. I was ecstatic to see change. My laughter was seen miles away and I was ok at this point.Just here enjoying, connecting, expressing, simply being. Grateful at this point. Even with all the twists and turns, I could see that I was so much more. And I was building a team, amongst the heavens watching over me. My guardian angels are happy with me. Finally after all these years I could see that my stubborn attitude was blocking my blessings and could open up to new love. The heart.

The new heart brings so much change, but so much love. Soooo soo much love. I can't grasp it, it flows. Its just what it wants to be, and then we move on.

You'll remember it like it was yesterday, and then you realize that moment is no longer here... but its everywhere. In your heart, in your mind, in the little moments you have in the real world. Its there, its just waiting for you to find it. When you believe that love exists all around, it won't just be a memory, it'll be all around. It'll be in every person, every animal, every little scene from your favorite tv, the food you eat... etc. It's all for you to take in and love for yourself. Got it?

So as I grow, Im learning to accept everything, including me, in all shapes and forms of love I never knew were possible.

From looking back at me from 2020, wondering where did she go... To remember that she was right here all along is a treasurable feeling. Whatever I was searching for was looking for me within. And when the old heart couldn't breathe the new one came in for the team. Lol. Now I'm gaining access to a new divine light, and I am enjoying the process because of it.

The end.

#just my life #blogging #bloggers of atl #tumblr blogs #creating space #writers #deja's blogs #deja's writings

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