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#Henry Gets A Haircut
homosexualrodent · 2 years
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they’re literally alex and henry
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hnrye · 9 months
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emerging from the great clips covered in blood
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hyperfixatedfandomer · 8 months
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Thinking about the dynamic Spider could have had with Nash McCosker’s first-born son, like c’mon there was POTENTIAL. That boy is a blonde, has brown eyes and longer hair like it’s almost as if it was done on purpose. They even bunk together, which is seen in the scene where Kiri tries getting Spider out of hell’s gate.
Knowing how this comics draws children I’d give the oldest about 10 years at most, now, HEAR ME OUT I have a vision—
Since the kid doesn’t have a name in cannon we’ll call him Henry. Now, I feel like he’d grow up, at least in the last several years, constantly being compared to Spider. Spider is the horrible, feral adoptive kid that Henry’s parents didn’t even want, and Henry the "better" version of him, because he’s related to his parents by blood and doesn’t mingle with the Na’vi. He keeps to "his own."
And he believes that. He starts disliking Spider despite Socorro never doing anything to him, simply because he was the embodiment of everything Henry shouldn’t be. “Don’t play with your food, you’re not Miles.” “Wash your hands, don’t take after that brat.” “Look at you! So well put together! If only Spider could follow your example.”
He’s been stuck his whole life hearing these phrases, these warnings against becoming like that Socorro kid who lost his head and became wild, and all of that mostly unknown to Spider himself. Henry kinda hated it, how Spider lived his life and felt not an ounce of shame for being a "bad" kid, but also…
He’s kind of in aw of him.
It’s a hard pill to swallow. Spider is everything the boy can’t be. Everything he grew up disliking and yet…he was cool. Very cool. Awesome, even.
Spider is the oldest kid on the base. He’s tall, taller than even half of the adults. He’s got muscles and is super strong, able to carry heavy supply crates all on his own. He can wield a blade he made by himself, as well as a bow with poisonous arrows. He goes hunting every day, kills his every meal. He explores the big, wide forest, like that’s his real home. He wears bright jewellery made out of hand-crafted beads, like the red necklace around his neck. He pushes the tall, imposing Na’vi around and laughs with them. He speaks their tongue unless specifically asked to switch to English. He knows every plant and animal by heart.
Henry was unsure of why he skipped the haircut day, and then the next, and the one after. “You’re not taking after Miles, are you?” His father asked, one brow up.
“No…course not. Just wanna try something new.” Why was dad referring to Spider as Miles?
“You better not. I’ve had enough of one feral bastard as it is.” He left for the labs, and Henry exhaled.
He wasn’t lying. He didn’t wish to have dreads…
But a braid or two couldn’t hurt, right?
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bitches-who-write · 1 year
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If you can, the gang with a super bubbly and affectionate s/o but when she's mad she gets really scary, like they'll check in on them but at the same time she would totally beat someone's ass if they insulted her man, I'm talking bashing there heads in a locker bad.
We're gonna break this up into parts [I'm typing this on my phone. Sorry, if it's shit. ]
Love this idea by the way!!
Henry
•At first he wasn't sure about the way you acted. It kinda..I don't wanna say irritated him but…it irritated him.
• Let's be honest here..it's Henry. He doesn't do affection, and he especially doesn't do bubbly. 
•Now he wasn't aware of your..anger issues? It wasn't until one day that he truly saw how fuckin insane you truly are. 
•You two were in school. He was standing by your locker as you were putting your books away. Greta and her gang of bitches walked over and started..well..being bitches. Now usually you deal with this by just ignoring them…however..you were already in an irritated mood due to a class incident. 
•Greta realized she wasn't bothering you so she decided to go for your boyfriend. 
•Big. Fuckin. Mistake. 
•She started with the flirting and after he called her gross and to fuck off, she was not happy. She started bringing up his haircut and how he probably didn't have the money to get it cut because his dad spent all the money on getting drunk. She even asked what it was like being a punching bag for his dad. 
•You snapped. 
•You kicked her fuckin ass. You grabbed the bitch by the ponytail and bashed her head into the locker. You grabbed her by the shirt and pinned her to the locker and let her know if she ever talked to your boyfriend again..well..you were gonna break her fuckin face. 
•Henry had very mixed emotions. He was pissed off because of Greta. He was very confused about this whole new side to his girlfriend. But most of all..he was hella turned on. 
•The minute you go to your place, you two were on each other. He ended up telling the guys about the incident after you two got done screwing around. 
•Patrick definitely tried to make moves on you more frequently after hearing this. 
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Round 2 Group D Match 6
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expand for propaganda! (major wall of text warning)
Henry Rollins:
"Honestly, Johnny Mnemonic Henry with the glasses and the lab coat was pretty hot"
"A wonderful physical specimen. Plus he’s really funny and weird….best hot ones interview of all time."
"I want him to run me over with a bus"
Stephen Malkmus:
"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"
"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"
"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"
"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."
"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"
"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"
""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."
"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."
"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"
"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"
"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"
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ctitan98official · 4 months
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@sarah-paulsons-bottom-lip : Can you do why Regina mills would get mad at you?
Yeah, I gotchu buddy! Let’s get into it!
Regina Mills is the type of woman who will get mad at you for…
Not liking apples
Getting into trouble with Emma (You and Emma hanging out is a danger in and of itself)
Asking for takeout when she’s just made you a nice meal
Finding you at Granny’s when you’re supposed to be working
Leaving her lengthy messages at the mayor’s office for her secretary to write down about stupid stuff
Giving Henry junk food or treats when she’s not looking
Hanging out with the Charmings
Telling funny stories about her to the townspeople
Having to come pick you up after you get drunk and pass out at the bar
Having to hear you screech hair metal ballads in the shower
Y/N: All I got is a PhotogRrrAaPhh!
Regina: The only thing left of you is going to be a photograph next to a coffin if you don’t knock it off!
Laughing during sex because you randomly remembered a funny meme
Doing bad impressions of her to get Henry to laugh
Not starting the coffee maker in the morning
Falling asleep during a town hall meeting
Randomly opening magical portals to different worlds
Being really loud and obnoxious during a serious battle (Hey, Regina! Look, I can balance my sword on my nose!)
Pressing your face up against her freshly cleaned windows when you try to see who’s at the door
Coughing without covering your mouth
Trying to burp the alphabet to impress her
Getting a haircut without consulting her first
Using all her fancy lotions and body washes and making a huge mess in the bathroom
Sneaking downstairs with Henry in the middle of the night to play video games (On a school night, Y/N? Really?)
Masterlist
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crazyunsexycool · 8 months
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My Little Love
Chapter 27
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!Reader
Word count: 3.1k
Warnings: Fluff, angst, explosion, implied character deaths
A/N: So here we go!!!
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With a deep breath and a small stretch you begin to wake up. You smile when you realize that Bucky is still laying next to you. It’s a small comfort knowing he’s getting his much deserved rest since he tends to be awake earlier than you. Turning your head you take in his muscular back. It’s riddled with scars, scars that you’ve kissed many times already and will again. You shift slowly so as to not wake him and drape your arm around his midsection. Many nights it was Bucky pulling you into his chest and making you feel safe, at this moment you get to do the same. It makes you smile and you can’t help but lean forward and kiss his left shoulder blade. One kiss turned into two and then three and so on. By now you knew Bucky was awake but he stayed still as he accepted your affection.
“Good morning, baby.” You whisper into his ear. 
Bucky turns his head to look at you with a lazy smile and sleepy eyes. He was beautiful and all yours. 
“It’s a great morning, Sugar.” 
Bucky turns in bed and lays on his back. You take the opportunity to straddle him and lean down to give him a quick kiss. 
“I have a date planned for us today.” Bucky says when you pull back. 
“Really?”
“Yup. Just the two of us.” 
“Have you informed our daughter? You know she’ll want to go with us.” 
“I did talk to her about it. She did pout but she knows it’s a surprise so she’s ok.” Bucky chuckles as his hands slip under your sleep shirt. 
“Let’s get up, old man, before those two can wreak havoc on the compound.” 
“Give me five more minutes with you just like this.” 
“Just five?”
“Fine,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Ten.” 
“Happily.” 
****
“Uppies.” Lottie says with a yawn, it’s still early and you’re surprised to see her awake. 
With her hair sticking up in all directions and her purple princess footed-pajamas still on Lottie clings to Bucky. Hiding away from the light by sticking her face into the space between his shoulder and neck she holds onto her pink teddy bear. You wave Bucky over to the couch since he won’t be able to do much now that Lottie has decided to fall back asleep. You smile as you watch Bucky smooth out her hair as he sits down and gets comfortable. 
“Morning mama.” Henry walks into the kitchen. He’s still sleepy too but he smiles in your direction as he holds up a hair tie. “Can you help me?”
You grab it and pull his hair up into a manbun. 
“Have you thought about getting a haircut?” 
“No, I don’t want it short.” Henry covers his head with his arms. 
“It was just a suggestion, sweet boy. I won’t make you do something you don’t want.” You kiss the top of his head. “You know your dad had long hair too and he looked very handsome with it.” 
“Do I look handsome with it?”
“So handsome. Now why don’t you go cuddle up with dad and Lottie on the couch.” 
“Ok.” Henry smiles and gives you a hug before he walks away while you work on breakfast.
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“Hi Buce.” 
“Hello Charlotte, how are you today?” Bruce asked as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 
“Am good. Can habe uppies?” 
Charlotte stopped right in front of Bruce, her hands busy with a paper plate while you trailed behind her. He picks her up and sets her down on one of the free spaces of his table. 
“Habe pwesent Buce.” 
“You do? Who’s it for?” 
“Fo’ you.” She holds up the paper plate full of glued down dried macaroni pieces and painted cotton balls all laid down to look like him. You even helped her make the frame for his glasses out of construction paper.
“Is this me?” 
“Yup.” 
You chuckle as Bruce holds it up beside his face and asks if he and the macaroni art look alike. Charlotte giggles and nods happily.
“We’ve been playing around with different arts and crafts.” 
“Habe this too.” Lottie holds up a bracelet made of green beads. 
“Well this is so nice of you Charlotte. Thank you.” 
“Now that we are done with the gift giving, here are my files that you needed.” 
“Thanks. I’ll get them back to you as soon as I can. I also have those reports on those people that received the same shot you did. If you can look at them and give me your opinion, that would be great.” You nod while he pulls out two lollipops from his lab coat pocket. Something you realize he started doing recently. “And this is for you and your brother, Charlotte.” 
“Wook mama.”  Lottie holds up both lollipops. 
“I see that. It was very nice of uncle Bruce, can you say thank you?”
“Oh, Tank you Buce.”  
“You are very welcome.” 
“I’ll see you later Bruce.”
“Bye-bye Buce.” 
“Bye, Charlotte.” Bruce says as he sets her back on the floor.
****
“Here are the reports you needed.” Bucky holds up a stack of files and places them on Steve’s desk. 
“Thanks. Is everything ok?” 
“Yeah.” Bucky nods but then sits down on one of the chairs across from Steve’s desk. Henry takes the other one but is distracted playing with Alpine. “I’m taking Y/N out on a date tonight.” 
“Nice, want me to watch the kids?”
“Nat volunteered, said something about you hogging up their time.” Bucky shrugs. “But I’m kind of nervous.”
“Nervous about what?”
“Steve, it's the date.”
“Oh. Wow ok so it’s happening tonight. When you come back you’ll be an engaged man.” Steve says with a grin. “This is great.”
“You don’t know that. Y/N could say no.”
Henry scoffs. “Please, mama would never say no to you.” 
“I second that. I know she won’t say no, she loves you way too much.” 
“Mama talks about how much she loves you all the time.”
Bucky nods slowly and takes a deep breath. It’ll be easy. All he has to do is ask a simple question. Although the thought of being rejected is really making him have second thoughts. It’s not about the rejection but the person doing it. He really can’t see his life without you now and he wants to give you the perfect evening and end it with the perfect proposal. Something small and intimate, just the two of you.
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You were standing in the living room waiting for Bucky and saying your goodnights to the kids. Charlotte was giggling as she clung to you like a koala.
“Are you going to be good for auntie Nat?” You ask while smoothing out her hair. 
“Am good mama.” 
“What about you mister?” 
“Yup.”  Henry said between taking sips of his juice box. “You look pretty in your dress mama.” 
“Thank you sweet boy. I just had to wear the dress you got me.” 
“Yeah, so pwetty mama. Wike a pwincess.” 
“Do you think daddy will think I look pretty?” 
“Stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, bewitching. Should I go on?” Bucky says from the door with a fond smile. He closes the distance and wraps his arms around you and Charlotte, who is now sandwiched between you.
She giggles as she looks up at both of you. 
“Dada am here.” 
“I didn’t see you there, doll.” 
Charlotte giggles some more before Bucky scoops her up. He peppers her cheeks with kisses and sets her down on the couch next to Henry and then places a kiss on Henry’s head. 
“We have to go or we’ll be late to our reservations.” 
“Ok well, have fun kids.” You wave at them as Nat walks in. “Thanks for watching them.”
“You’re welcome. Now go and have your own fun.” 
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Bucky drove you into the heart of the city. He was nervous, you could tell but you didn’t know why. Still he’d look over at you every few minutes and flash you his most charming smile. It wasn’t until you got to your destination that you knew something was up. Getting reservations at one of the most exclusive restaurants in the most exclusive hotel in New York City was no easy feat. 
Bucky parks at the entrance and jumps out of the car to open your door. You admired how handsome he looked in his all black suit and t-shirt combo. He holds his hand out to help you up and out of the car and then offers you his arm. 
“How did you manage reservations here?” 
“Had a little help.” He winks as you walk toward the elevator to the top floor. 
****
The view of the city was spectacular from the top floor where the restaurant was. The hostess led you from the entrance off to the left and onto a private balcony. There was only one table at the center and a bar at the end. Bucky pulls a chair out for you and a server is there in an instant to take your drink order. 
“This is beautiful.” You murmur as you look out over the city.
“You’re beautiful.” 
Bucky takes one of your hands over the table. His cheeks are tinted pink as he looks at you. You squeeze his hand to reassure him everything was ok even though you were trying to figure out why he was acting the way he was. 
“Y/N, I-“ Bucky’s cut off by the ringing of both of your phones. 
“Maybe it’s the kids.” You say as you fish yours out of your purse. 
Bucky mutters a curse in Russian and grabs his phone. He stands and walks away to a corner so you won’t hear his conversation.
“Hey Nat, is everything ok?” You answer your phone.
“So sorry to ruin the date but we need you both back here immediately.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s a mission, can’t say more.”
“Fine, we'll be there as soon as possible.” You look up at Bucky just as he turns to look at you. He frowns and hangs up the call.
“Sorry Sugar, guess we’ll have to reschedule the date.” 
“It’s ok.” You say as you take his hand and start walking back toward the elevator. You wrap your arms around Bucky’s midsection and rest your head against his chest. “Don’t be upset.” 
“I just wanted tonight to be special. I even had a room reserved for us.” 
You pull back to look at him. 
“Oh really?” You give him a mischievous smirk. 
“Mmhmm. I wanted you all to myself tonight.”
“We will definitely reschedule then.”
Bucky smiles and kisses you. He feels like the ring is burning a hole in his pocket. Maybe he should have asked you right before leaving the restaurant anyway. 
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Everyone was already in the conference room when you walked in. Lottie and Henry were in a corner with noise canceling headphones and tablets unaware of what was going on. 
“Sorry for ruining your date guys.” Steve gives you an apologetic smile. “But trust me you’ll want to be here for this.” 
“What’s going on?” 
“As you know since the moment we found Charlotte and then Henry, Hydra has been trying to get them back. That included the trap they set up for Y/N, Sam, Clint and Nat and the one they set up for me and Steve.” Tony says as he pulls up some images on the large screen at the front of the room. “These people were responsible for developing the future winter soldier program. While most of them have died or retired, the program is still going strong. Right now their focus is getting the kids back.”
“They’ve mostly stayed underground.” Steve adds. “It’s been hard to track them but finally after all these months we have intel that they will be meeting tomorrow so we have to leave tonight if we want to get all of them.” 
“If we do that, that means it’s over?”
“No one will be after the kids anymore?” You ask hopefully as you reach for Bucky’s hand. 
“Exactly, we can get rid of this part of hydra for good.” 
“I’ll call my dad and we can go.” 
“I’m sorry but you won’t be able to go with us, Y/N.” Steve says. 
“Why not?” 
“Because Hydra has a hit out on you.” Tony presses a button on the remote in his hand and up pops up multiple communications from hydra officials wanting you to be dealt with. “Since you were the one to carry the kids out and the one to kill one of the highest ranking members in hydra you’ve painted a big old bullseye on your back. If you went with us well…” 
You sit back and nod as you realize that they’re right. If you go on this mission it will just make it easier for hydra to try and kill you. 
“Ok. I’ll stay.”
“Everyone suit up. The faster we get there the faster we can end this.”
****
“Good wuck.” Charlotte tells everyone on the team as they walk into the jet. Henry stands beside her and offers everyone high fives. 
You stood not too far away from the kids and watched as everyone got on. Steve walked up and stopped next to you. 
“I’ll keep an eye on him, don’t worry.” Steve places a hand on your shoulder. 
“I know you will, just don’t get too reckless because I’m not there to keep my eye on you.”
Steve chuckles before giving you a quick hug and walking over to the kids. Bucky’s hands wrap around your waist as he pulls you into his chest. He presses a kiss to your shoulder as you both watch Steve hugging Lottie and Henry. 
“Once this is over we can actually do things with them outside of the compound.” Bucky says.
“I’ll be making a list. They’ll be so excited when we take them out.” 
“Not too excited when they start school though.”
You turn in his arms and perch your hands on his shoulders. Bucky rests his forehead against yours.
“It’s almost over.” 
“Be careful out there.”
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you too.” You tell him before giving him a kiss. 
Henry and Charlotte run towards you and Bucky. He pulls away from you and grabs Henry before the latter can run into him. There are hugs and kisses for both kids before Bucky finally and reluctantly pulls away from you. With one final wave goodbye Bucky gets on the jet and you watch as it takes off. 
“Alright kiddos, let's go inside.”
“Mama can habe mobie night?” Lottie asks as she takes your hand.
“That sounds like a fun idea, sweet angel. We can get in our pajamas and get our favorite snacks and watch as many movies as we can. We can even make a pillow fort in the living room. What do you say Henry?”
Henry nods. “ Can we watch Cars?”
“Of course we can.” 
“Tonight is going to be awesome.”
“Yeah it is.”
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 After an almost 10 hour flight the team had finally made it to the facility where hydra was meeting. Bucky was anxious to get this over with and go home. Home to his family to finally start a new chapter in his life. One that would begin when you said yes to his question. He couldn’t wait for that moment. 
“Gear up team, it’s time. Don’t forget the plan.” Steve says.
Everyone double checks their gear before finally starting the mission. Tony, Sam and Vision head out first as they do a fly over and lay down cover fire. The rest of the team drops down soon after while Bruce stays on the jet as back up. A small group of hydra agents fight to protect the building but it’s no use and it doesn’t take too long for the team to regroup in front of the main doors.
“Does anyone else think that was too easy?” Nat speaks up as she looks around the area. 
“I wouldn’t be surprised if they have all of the other agents protecting these sick sons of bitches.” 
“Just be prepared and stay focused, there’s no turning back if we lose these people now we might never find them again.” Steve says. He takes his shield and hits the lock on the door handle to break it open. As soon as it’s open everyone runs in to complete their objective.
****
Every level of the building is checked and nothing. The building is practically empty with the exception of a few agents that were taken care of easily. 
“What the hell is going on?” Sam says as he and Bucky walk into the control room to meet up with everyone else. 
All of the monitors in the room lit up at the same time. A video of you and the kids walking through the compound halls starts playing. 
“Where the hell is everyone?” Bucky asks as he looks around. 
Tony and Nat begin to type furiously on some of the computers as they try to figure it out.
“Has anyone heard from command central? I’m getting radio silence.”
“It’s not radio silence.” Steve answers Nat as he realizes what’s going on. “It’s a trap, like your first mission after we found Charlotte.” 
“Soldat.”
 “What the fuck?”
“You should have given our assets back when you had the chance.” The voice said. “I hope you had fun playing house.” 
There are several pictures of the kids playing outside from days and months prior. Bucky pulls out his phone to try and call you but there’s no connection. 
“Tony please tell me you got something.” 
Steve and Sam head for the doors but when they try to open them they can’t. 
“We’re locked in.” 
“Tony!”
“I’m trying here.” He shouts back. 
“Say goodbye to your family, Soldat.” The voice says. 
A missile hits the living quarters. It’s as if the air had been sucked out of the room as the team watches the compound get hit. 
“No, no, no, no,no. Please tell me this isn’t real.” Bucky cries out. “It can’t be real. They’re in there.”
“We’ll figure it out, Buck, but right now we have to get out of here.” 
“What if they’re gone?” Bucky watches as the footage of the explosion replays over and over again. 
“Bruce, we need your help getting out of here.”  
A few minutes later the building is practically destroyed as the Hulk smashes his way through. Everyone rushes to the jet. The whole flight Bucky can’t stop pacing. Steve and Sam try to calm him down but nothing works. He’s a mess and rightfully so. It takes halfway through the flight for them to finally have some type of connection to the outside world again. Bucky immediately starts to call your phone but it goes to voicemail. 
By the time they finally get to the compound Bucky’s worst fears are realized when the jet lands and he sees that the compound is completely destroyed. Bucky felt his chest seize as he took in the damage. Any hope he had that you and the kids were ok is gone. 
Ch. 28
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angelst4re · 1 year
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this is for my beloved @jamiesdarlin who came up with this idea and it made me feral so i did what had to be done... and rewrote it about 5 times <3
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Like a Villain- Jamie Campbell Bower/Henry Creel x Reader
summary: your boyfriend gets a haircut in preparation to play henry again and decides to surprise you when you come home...
warnings: NSFW!!! contains smut!! don't read if this makes you uncomfortable my love!
notes: i intended for this to be a male reader fic but i think it's more gender neutral :)
As you were driving home from work, you remembered Jamie was going to get his haircut today. It had grown out quite a lot since the last time he had it properly cut, and you thought the look really suited him. You liked running your fingers through his long hair, shampooing it when you would take showers and baths together, and just playing with it when the two of you would be watching a movie and he’d rest his head on your lap. You asked him to send you a picture after he had it cut, but he said no, he wanted to surprise you when you got home. 
Shutting the door behind you, you kicked your shoes off and put your car keys by Jamie’s. It seemed a bit quiet, you wondered if your boyfriend was even home. 
“Jamie? I’m home!” You called out before going into the kitchen to get a glass of water. 
“How was work, darling?” Jamie asked, and as you turned around to face him you almost choked on your water. 
Jamie leaned against the door frame, his hair had been cut a lot shorter, it had been lightened, and it appeared to have been slightly curled. Only one thing came to mind.
Henry.
And that was when you noticed what he was wearing, the white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the white trousers… It was clear he had done this on purpose, as he knew how you felt about this particular character. 
“...” You were too shocked, perhaps even stunned, to answer his question. You didn’t know where to look, or how to react. 
“It’s rude to stare, you know, darling.” He chuckled, his voice appearing darker, and he began to move closer to you, until he was looking down at you, a playful look in his eye as his hand came up to stroke your cheek. 
“Jamie-”
“Shh,” he hushed you, placing his finger over your lips, “we’re going to go upstairs, love,” he said, his voice now slow and almost gentle, “and Henry is going to fuck you, just like you’ve always wanted. Okay?”
You were silenced, almost frozen in utter shock and undeniable arousal. You eagerly nodded your head, and Jamie smiled, winking at you before taking your hand, leading you to the bedroom. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Once upstairs, Jamie shut the bedroom door behind the both of you before sitting down on the bed, his back against the headboard. He ordered you to undress, and he then patted his lap. 
Once you were left in just your underwear, you joined him on the bed, straddling his hips as his hand came up to the back of your head, pulling your face closer to his and crashing his lips into yours. This took you by surprise, and you felt your heart skip a beat. He was being so much rougher with you than usual, and the way his other hand had a hold of your hip made you wonder if he would leave bruises on your skin, the way he bit down on your lip before he slowly pulled away from the kiss had you wondering if it was enough to draw blood… 
“Jamie-” you were cut off as his hand sent a gentle slap to your face, before he took your jaw in his hand and moved your head, so you were looking at him. You couldn’t believe how turned on you were from the way he handled you, which usually would be with care, but you loved to see this rough side of him, and you were willing to see how far he would take it.
“Sweetheart…” He sighed, shaking his head as his eyes lit up with a devilish spark, “Jamie treats you so well, doesn’t he? He’s gentle, he can be slow and passionate when he fucks you, but you seem to be forgetting something…” His breathing began to get heavier as he spoke to you, it’s quite clear that he’s been waiting to do this for a while, and that he seems to be enjoying it more than he would care to admit, “Jamie’s not going to fuck you, baby. Henry will.” 
You could feel the throbbing in your most private areas becoming harder and harder to ignore, and you were sure- given the position you were in- that he could feel it too. 
“Say my name.” He demanded, a smirk creeping up on his face at how flustered you had become, watching as your cheeks redden at his words. When you didn’t answer him, he removed his hand from your hip, and it came down on your ass with a slap.
“Henry…” You said, it came out as almost a whimper, trying to avoid eye contact with the man that was making you feel this way. 
“Say it again, love.” He teased, his hand now massaging the flesh of your ass, loving the effect he had on you. 
“Henry.” You said, more confident this time as your eyes met his, seconds before his lips were back on yours again, and your arms came up to wrap around his neck, involuntarily grinding down against his hardening cock through his white trousers. 
He bucked his hips up, sending shockwaves through your body, and you couldn’t take it anymore. Your hands came down to where your bodies met and your fingers fumbled around with his belt, but you quickly became frustrated, frowning against his lips as you struggled with it. 
He was seemingly as needy as you at this moment as his hands quickly swatted yours away and he took his belt off, placing it beside him on the bed…
He wrapped an arm around you, flipping the both of you over so you were now beneath him, looking up at him with lust filled eyes, and your lips slightly parted as you caught your breath. He unbuttoned his trousers, but never fully undressed. Your hand reached down to wrap your fingers around his cock, needing to touch him there- but he took your wrists in one hand, his belt in the other, and he tied you up, wrapping the belt around the headboard to keep your arms in place, acting like handcuffs. 
He then slid his hands down your body, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and pulling them ever so slowly down your legs before throwing them to the side. The velvety head of his cock was pressing into your thigh as he angled his head slightly and let a drop of spit land onto your area. He used it as lubrication as he pressed the tip of his thumb into your hole, grinning as he watched the sudden change of expression on your face. 
He eased you open, preparing you to take his cock. You bit down on your lip as he switched from his thumb to two fingers, easing in and out of you, pleasure running through your body with each curl of his fingers as they pumped into you.
“Eyes on me.” He reminded you after your let your eyes fall shut. You angled your head to look at him, and he had the most devilish look upon his face, everything about Jamie was gone, from the way he held you to the way he spoke, his whole demeanour switched, and you were loving every moment of it.
He took his cock into his hand, and you gasped as you felt the tip nudge against your hole. Your hips bucked up, and he placed his other hand on your lower stomach to keep you in place as he teased you, pushing the very tip of his cock into you before withdrawing it again. You continued to squirm beneath him, arching your back as you tried to move your hips, needing him to fuck you and stop teasing.
“Please, I need you.” You whined, screwing your eyes shut, “Henry, please!”
You didn’t even notice he had untied your arms until you’re flipped over again. He ties your hands behind your back using his belt again and wraps his hands around your hips to pull your ass into the air whilst pushing your face down into the pillows.
“Not a sound, pet.” He tells you, “or I won’t let you finish. You don’t want that, do you?”
You shook your head.
“That’s what I thought.”
He holds onto your hip with one hand as the other positions his cock at your entrance, and he begins to slowly fill you up. You bite down on your lip as you feel your walls being stretched around his length, and he brushed against every spot inside you that made you want to scream his name.
Once he was settled inside you, you felt his hand stroke your back, before he began to slowly move his hips, sliding inches out of you to pound back into you. You gasped as his hand moved again, between your bodies, and you wanted to scream out. But you fought against the urge, burying your face further into the pillow.
The impact from his thrusts, the feeling of his pubic bone hitting your ass, only pushed you further into the pillows. When he noticed, he snaked an arm around your upper body, pulling your back to his chest, all whilst continuing to fuck you mercilessly.
His hand crept to your throat, his fingers wrapping around as he kissed the side of your neck, his freshly bleached hair tickling your delicate skin.
“You feel so good, darling. You’re doing such a good job. I can feel you getting close, just hold on a bit longer, okay?” He whispered, although it was more of a pant. His breath was warm as he spoke, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin, and the raspiness went straight to your core. “Just a bit longer.” He reminded you.
You tried to hold back the feeling that was slowly approaching. But as you felt his cock hit deeper and deeper inside you as his pace quickened, you worried you couldn’t hold out for him. However, your knees buckled when you felt him twitch inside you, you knew he was close too.
“Who’s fucking you like this, huh? Who’s making you feel this good? Say it, honey. Use your words.”
“Y-you, Henry.” You stutter, your half-lidded eyes making contact with his, “just you.”
“That’s right, baby,” he tells you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, placing a kiss there as he twitches inside you again, “you want it inside you, pet?”
You nod your head, a ‘please’ falling from your lips, although he could’ve mistaken it for a moan. However, with one last thrust of his hips, you felt yourself coming closer and closer, until it hit you all at once. The warmth of his seed made your belly tingle as you lost control of your limbs, falling back onto his chest. He held you up as he gave sharp strokes inside you, and you contracted around him, milking his cock of all it had.
"Fuck-" He said with a groan as he stilled inside you, feeling his heartbeat against your back as it began to beat in time with yours as you began to catch your breath.
He placed a final kiss to your neck before he released your wrists from the makeshift tie, placing a kiss on each of your wrists as he laid you down on the bed. As you laid down, he noticed his cum was already beginning to drip down your thighs. He parted your thighs again and leaned down, collecting it with his finger and pushing it back inside, causing you to hiss from the overstimulation. He patted your thigh as he spoke,
“Let’s keep it all where it belongs, darling.”
You could only wish this is how he would continue to fuck you as he prepared to play his character again.
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robertfalconscott · 1 year
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My favorite pictures of Antarctic explorers giving each other haircuts!!
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Roald Amundsen cutting Emil Racoviță’s hair on the Belgica :3c the Amundsmile and Wacky Racy make this an instant classic. Love!!!
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Anton Omelchenko cutting Patrick Keohane’s hair on the Terra Nova expedition. Anton looks like a real professional here, I’d let him trim my bangs
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Endurance haircuts all around!!! On the left is Frank Wild cutting (presumed) Lionel Greenstreet’s hair, and on the right we have Thomas Orde-Lees giving Tom Crean a haircut! It must have been haircut day aboard Endurance, & there are plenty of cute details in this one, including Alexander Macklin patting Leonard Hussey’s freshly shaved head (to the left & in the back)
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Henry Rennick cutting Dennis Lillie’s hair on Terra Nova!!! Yes… this is my favorite. Rennick’s dramatic stance and Lillie with his little feet up on the railing…. Cute!!!!
The moral of the story being, of course, if you get a bunch of lads together on a boat bound for Antarctica, they’ll inevitably start cutting each others’ hair for fun. Dudes rock
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doobydoobydoowau · 2 months
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richard: no no guys im straight
meanwhile, richard: what's the hottest thing ab camilla? idk that's a toughy. did i mention i love her? oh and i love how she looks, esp her boyish haircut and how much she reminds me of her brother :)
also richard: camilla let's get married. yes i know you're still in love with henry. get over it already i loved him too
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hotjaneaustenmenpoll · 3 months
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Round Two Round Up!
Round Two is officially over and so we must say so long to another 16 of our men!
It's been a bad week for the milita as we say goodbye to Denny! Colonel Brandon (2008) and our last two Wickhams!
Mr Darcy (P&P&Z) may have been able to fight off zombies but he couldn't fight off Mr Bingley and he's not the only Darcy to go. After a well fought battle, custody of Laurence Olivier will be returned to hotvintagepoll as Mr Knightley (2020) defeats him to go through along with two of his counterparts who all escape the fate of Mark Strong's Mr Knightley!
Mr Knightley (1996) isn't the only Highbury native to leave us as we lose Robert Martin (1996) and Frank Churchill (1996) heads for London to get a much needed haircut.
Round Two has also seen the last of our Mansfield men go with Henry Crawford (1999), William Price (2007) and Edmund Bertram (2007) all defeated. Mansfield Park is in good company as Love and Friendship (2016) and Sanditon (2019) also lose their only representatives in Reginald DeCourcy and Sidney Parker.
And of course a special mention to our closest poll that was 49.1% agony, 50.9% hope as Captain Wentworth (2007) , unlike his friend Captain Harville (2007), just about survives rough seas to see off Mr Palmer (1995).
Once Again Farewell Gentlemen...
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Round Three begins tomorrow!! Send in any propaganda you want included on the polls' main post - they will all need it - you have been warned!!
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hnrye · 2 years
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hate this place i need to leave the house more. maybe soon idk.
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gaybananabread · 2 months
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☾༺Just a Bit Longer༻☽
~So I’ve been brainrotting over RW&RB for a solid month now. The goblins need a walk, and I cannot productivity until they get one. I love these two’s dynamic; they’re just so silly. Not my best work, but writer’s block be damned; I needed to post something this week. This is completely self-indulgent, but if it’s your thing, I hope you Enjoy!~
Lee: Alex
Ler: Henry
Summary: Alex is overworking himself, going late into the night and working hours without breaks. Sick of his lover’s dreadful work-life management, Henry takes it upon himself to get Alex to sleep.
Warnings: mild Red, White & Royal Blue spoilers! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!
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Life for Alex Claremont-Diaz was the best it had ever been. Henry came over almost daily from his Brownstone, and he finally felt like he had a definite idea of where his life was headed. The only downside: he was still in school.
The NYU Law course was a bit more rigorous than he’d expected, but it was definitely what he wanted. Sure, that meant long, painful hours of reviewing for extremely difficult exams, discovering that tort is a real word, and trying to figure out a system for coursework that didn’t make his brain want to explode.
His sleep schedule was already shit, so he didn’t think any of it would be a problem. If he just pulled a few all-nighters and pumped out some late-night essays, he’d be fine. What he didn’t think about, however, was how Henry would take it.
Alex was working late on another essay, running off of coffee and pure determination. He hadn’t meant to put it off, but with the three exams he’d had that week, his mind was a scattered mess.
Henry had put up with it for most of the night, but as two AM rolled around, his understanding had run dry, replaced by concern.
Knocking the “shave and a haircut” pattern on his lover’s door, Henry entered the room. He was immediately greeted with the strong smell of coffee and desperation.
There sat his boyfriend, hunched over a computer with a half-eaten ham sandwich (he couldn’t handle turkey anymore) by his side. The blonde couldn’t help the sad sigh that escaped him.
Alex looked up, his glasses nearly all the way down on his nose. It was unfairly cute, though Henry shoved that feeling down for the moment.
“Uh…hey, Hen. Not done yet; gimme, like, another half-hour.” Alex’s gaze was back on his computer in seconds.
Henry rubbed his temples, already feeling a headache brew. For once, why couldn’t Alex just use common sense?
“Alex, darling. It’s two in the morning. You need to sleep.”
Alex scoffed, not stopping for even a second. “Says you. You stay up later than I do most of the time.” While that wasn’t untrue, Henry’s problems were because of insomnia. Alex was just a stubborn asshole.
“Look, I’m going to be brutally honest here. You look terrible, you seem exhausted, and the bags under your eyes could fit the entirety of the Royal Wardrobe. Go. To. Sleep.”
Henry laid things out bluntly, crossing his arms. It was meant to leave little room for negotiation, but defying Henry’s expectations was Alex’s special talent.
“This is due at eight AM…uh, today. I’ve only got six hours to finish this thing, but I’m almost done. I promise, just a bit longer.” This would have been more comforting if Alex hadn’t already said that three times.
“Alex, please. If you sleep now, I’ll wake you up at six, and we’ll work on it together. It hurts to see you like this, dear.” He used pet names, trying to sway Alex to listen. It was a last-ditch effort; if he still refused, Henry didn’t have much of a plan left. Sure enough, he did.
“It’s fine, Henry. I’m all good, just a little spacy. I promise, the moment I’m done, I’ll eat your face. Okay, baby?” Alex flipped the other man’s strategy back on him, hoping to fully bury the concern. He was fine: end of story.
For Henry, though, the tale was just beginning. He racked his brain, searching for anything to help him get Alex to cooperate. He could only remember one time anyone was successful.
Alex had invited him to the White House for June’s birthday party. As the night dragged on, everyone but Alex was drunk and exhausted. To tire him out, June had employed some rather…unconventional methods.
Methods that would be extremely useful to him at that moment.
Casually approaching his boyfriend, Henry put a hand on the laptop. Then, after making sure the work was saved, he closed it. He pointedly ignored Alex’s scoff and protests, grabbing his chin and pulling him in for a kiss. Alex still squirmed, though a smile was breaking out on his face.
That was all Henry needed to continue. He gripped Alex under his thighs, lifting the man up and plopping him down on his nearby bed.
A surprised sound left him, his cheeks gaining a nearly imperceptible red hue. He was expecting some push-back from Henry, but nothing this active.
“Just couldn’t wait for me, could you~?” Alex weteased, starting to sit up on the bed. Henry was quick to stop that, grabbing Alex’s arms and pinning them above his head.
Before his lover could make another joke, Henry tapped a few fingers on his side. That shut him up, if only for a second.
“Henry, I swear to fucking god, if you try anything-” He was cut off when Henry squeezed his side, resulting in an indignant squeak.
“Sorry, dear, but I’m afraid I already have~” With that, Henry clawed his fingers into Alex’s stomach, straddling him.
The tired man tried to bite his lip, but the coffee wasn’t quite enough to give him that energy. A few giggles slipped out, quickly followed by tiny curses.
“What’s the matter, Alex? Something bothering you?” Henry chuckled, leaning down further to try and hold him still.
Kicking and squirming, Alex tried anything to get away from the evil fingers. He was tired, though; his brain was moving at half-speed and felt like it was running through soup.
“Gehehet ohoff me, youhuhu prihick!” Henry has decided to move up to his ribs, scritching and scratching between each bone.
Even on a good day, it’d be hard for Alex to get out from under him. With no sleep, coffee fumes and pure spite, he had no chance.
“Why on Earth would I do that? I’m quite comfortable here. Besides, you seem to be enjoying yourself, if that blush is any indication,” Henry taunted, jutting his chin out. He didn’t really need to, but it was a sure-fire way to rile Alex.
“Fuhuhuck off! Hehenry, I swehehear- quihit!” Alex tried to bury his face in his shoulder, though he only drew attention to a new target. Henry leaned down, blowing a raspberry on his boyfriend’s neck. Alex would rather die than repeat the squeal that left him.
“Wow, Alex. Perhaps the Barbara Streisand accusation wasn't so far off,” he teased, his voice about as smug than Alex had ever heard it.
The typically witty man was in giggly shambles, trying his best not to sound like a child. He wasn’t very successful.
“SHUHUhut uhup, youhu douche!!” Laughing like a toddler, Alex was still pumping out insults. Henry was about to put a stop to that. Going for the kill, he hooked his thumbs into Alex's hip divots, kneading and squeezing the area.
That seemed to work quite well.
“GAH- HEHENRY! You- YAHAHA! FAHAHACK!” The law student lost his shit, practically cackling under his boyfriend.
Alex arched his back off the bed, only bucking into the ticklish feeling. There was no room in his mind for witt; the best he could do was “fuck fuck fuck it tickles oh my god-”
Hearts practically formed in Henry’s eyes at the adorably hysteric reaction. Still, as cute as it was, he had a mission.
“This all ends the moment you agree to rest. Or…would you like me to continue? I bet I could just tickle you senseless all night. You’d surely be exhausted then, wouldn’t you?”
Alex couldn’t even get a word out, shaking his head as he laughed. His curls went wild, getting in his eyes and puffing up. Henry wanted to brush it from his eyes, but he had to keep his priorities in order. There would be time for fawning over him later.
“HEHENRY! PLEHE- snrk” It took a solid minute, but Alex’s resolve was weakening. He was already tired beforehand, and laughing his ass off wasn’t helping. The squirming had died down almost completely, snorts slipping into the lax cackles.
While it wasn’t an agreement, the Prince could tell that his lover would be out in seconds. Henry stopped, switching to gentle traces down his sides. The first son tried to calm down, a steady stream of giggles pouring from his lips.
“H-hoholy shihihit… Thahat was evil.” He tried taking some deep breaths, rubbing his cheeks. Alex hadn’t laughed that hard in a while. He was close to just passing out right there, pure exhaustion hitting him like a freight train.
“Possibly. You deserved it, though.” Henry leaned down, gently kissing his curved lips. This sight was one of his new favorites: Alex, his toned skin flushed, practically a puddle of giggles beneath him.
Alex flipped him the bird before melting into the kiss. He weakly pulled his boyfriend down, snuggling against him. He’d all but forgotten about his essay, eyes closed the moment he laid still; the poor guy was wiped. It wasn’t terrible by any means, but all his energy was gone.
Carefully grabbing his phone, Henry set an alarm for six AM.
They’d finish that research paper; he was certain of that. With a bit of sleep, Alex would be a writing machine. True, the slightly rushed grammar would be atrocious, but that’s what Henry was there for. Pulling the sheets up over them both, Henry breathed a happy sigh.
“Good night, love.”
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notknickers · 9 months
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könig's new haircut
this is for you, @kathy-ifnt ! (i feel like preemptively apologising for draggin gyou into this, but... it's done.) it's not a silly mini-comic, but sometimes i can put one word after the other in an order that almost means something. almost.
synopsis: in a comment section on tumblr, two unhinged individuals plot to make könig's life into a joke.
warnings: none apply
audiences: teen and up
word count: 1140
a/n: lots of silliness in this one. (don't get used to it, we'll be back with smuttier, slightly darker stuff soon.)
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the lights blinded könig for a few seconds before his sight returned, annoying squiggles of static still dancing behind his eyelids as he quickly blinked.
the view in front of him caused such visceral dismay he had not known equal in his years as military contractor, during which he witnessed atrocities that sometimes plagued his dreams to this day.
nothing could have prepared the austrian soldier for this. not in a thousand years.
he instinctively tried to back away – perhaps it was not too late to leave – but he could not. he just could not.
knickers and kathy, his two civilian best friends who had insisted on a visit on his part as soon as he was back from deployment, were standing right behind him.
«do you know how many favours i had to call in to even get you on jean paul’s waiting list?», kathy scoffed, reminding könig that their sacrifices were not being met as a grateful friend would.
a quick glance in knicker’s direction and he knew he had lost this fight: no one in his corner against the afternoon of pampering the two had organised for the soldier.
«chop chop, darling! we don’t want to be late!», knickers hurried him with the same condescension one who’s never been around children would use on a five-year-old.
(and that, pretty much described knickers to a t.)
könig made a mental note never to accept an invitation at the friends’, unless they promised not to ambush him like that. there was nothing wrong with the way his hair looked and he should not have had to be here.
the red-headed giant reluctantly walked past the threshold, all eyes on him for a long moment of discomfort, until jean henri appeared.
«kathy! knickers! you’ve made it!»
«jean louis! mwah! mwah! of course!», the two intoned in unison as if they’d rehearsed, gesturing as if to kiss the empty hair in the iconic hair stylist’s direction, while he mirrored their contactless greeting.
könig observed the interaction, slightly aside. grateful to have been left to his own for a moment as he reflected on how mundane life and its trappings remained inscrutable to him, especially when he spent most of his existence training and not knowing whether he would come back in one piece – or at all – for the better part of the year.
reprieve did not endure. the allegedly famous hair dresser, a short, slight man with tan skin and white stripes of hair at his temples, turned to him with a staged expression of surprise and wonder.
«and this must be my lucky 15:30 appointment!», he clapped his hands in front of his chest, eyes contoured in black beaming in his direction, as he pretended to be incapable of fully seeing könig’s face, at more than 2m of height..
«that’s him!», kathy replied jovially, before turning towards könig, who wished he weren’t so large and noticeable, so he could sneak away in the commotion, «awwww, pookie! don’t worry, you’re in great hands!»
«yes, luv. now stop wasting the nice man’s time and do as he says, yes?», knickers remarked, before something else caught their attention and spared them from könig’s frozen glare.
«right this way!»
the miraculous jean jacques showed him to the shampoo station and könig, defeated, followed with heavy step and heavy heart.
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bottomless champaign flutes appeared in the two harpies mutuals’ hands as they conspired giggled and chatted, in a worrisomely increasing state of inebriation, on a satin-lined faux vintage love seat the colour of their ruddy cheeks.
they kept refilling and refilling, to the point that when könig returned, face hidden under his mask and long, silky hair sprouting from the neck hole on top of his head, they almost didn’t notice.
«well, what do we think?», jean justin’s voice trilled.
the seated duo lifted their heads, training their gaze on the central european god in the corner like marksmen training the scope on their rifles on their target.
«is… is that the same hairdo as daenerys targaryen, down to the platinum blond hair?», kathy whispered in utter confusion towards knickers, who was, for once, speechless.
«well…»
kathy pinched the bridge of their nose as they suppressed a hiccup, suddenly feeling sober: «jean pierre, i’m sure someone like you can do batter than this…?»
«oh, you’re right! back we go…», the coiffeur took a könig with the incipience of the worst headache of his life back to the mirror.
«i mean», knickers, finally out of their shocked silence, interjected, «i would have happily been his cal drogo…»
kathy raised an eyebrow sarcastically and rebutted: «… or his horse!»
the two drunken and rumbunctuous mutuals began laughing loudly enough that the hanging crystal on the chandelier at the centre of the of the ceiling started vibrating.
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there könig was, back to strut – well, more like sadly drag himself – back to show his new hairdo.
this time, he hadn’t even reached his friends, that knickers, prey of such furor fuelled by both alcohol on an empty stomach and outrage, had already hopped up from the love seat, animaniacs-style, to land in front of the hair stylist.
they grabbed the charlatan by the neck of their salmon shirt: «now listen here, old man! do you think that someone with a mullet – a. fucking. mullet – could ever be the personification of my every erotic dream, jean… jean… jean geneviève?»
kathy pulled knickers back, who still scowled in warning as the two men reluctantly returned to the station.
«i mean… i would still…», knickers gesticulated rather eloquently.
«oh, yeah, no. me, too!», kathy agreed.
the two burst out in laughter for a second time and, this once, it was not just the crystals of the chandelier that shook, but its wiring too…
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when könig returned, hopefully for the last time, no more hair peeped through his mask.
Wary, the two mutuals started circling the pleasant-looking mountain of flesh they thought of as dearest friend (with benefits), masterful cunnilinguist, pain slut and obedient little pup, carefully inspecting: all they found, was a buzz cut.
«I… he… ran out of hair to work on…», the coiffeur wrung one hand in the other, intimidated by the unforgiving fury in both of the mutuals’ eyes.
The silky strands of titian red they both had delighted in running their fingers through, tangling, pulling, stroking, weaving in a plait to use as leash… gone.
The next step was nothing if not obvious.
And so it came to kathy holding the traitorous charlatan still, while knickers fed him handfuls of lovely, auburn silky flakes, collected off the floor and forced through the hair stylist’s mouth by the fistful.
König ignored the scene altogether, brushing a large palm across his fresh-shaven scalp in satisfaction: it would soon be time to be deployed again, anyway.
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Note
THE TEXT CONVOS !! I hope it looks ok. I left spaces between the texts (ALSO THANK U FOR THE REQUEST 💗 ) 💺 anon
🍊) My little (brat) princess
🍒: Buy pads please!! 🍊: Already did, anything else that may satisfy her majesty? ❤️
🍊: Hi pretty. Can't find my tie, did you took it? It's the navy one 🍒: No, must've been your side chick :( 🍊: Please tell me you're joking 🍒: I'm not 🍊: Woman I practically worship the ground you walk on 🍒: Screenshotting this to Lem. Also your tie is with me :) 🍊: You two got jokes huh
🍒: Pretty women called "sleepless nights worried about my husband" is waiting for me in bed 🍊: Not tonight love. Coming home in 5
🍊: What kind of streets do ghosts hunt? 🍊: Dead ends
🍊: Really want to shoot him in the head 🍒: What are you talking about? 🍊: He's so fucking cocky huh? 🍒: Ladybug? He's not doing anything 🍊: That "we should all order some food" sounded pretty flirty to me 🍒: You deserve the electric chair
🍊: Are you from Mississippi? Cause you're the only miss who's piss I'll sippie [You blocked this contact]
🍊: That nob better stop touching your shoulder before I give him a lobotomy 🍊: Got the "little off the top" looking haircut 🍒: HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER 🍊: He should see an optometrist since he clearly didn't notice the ring on your finger 🍒: I told him I have a husband 5 times already but he said "it doesn't matter", so I gave him your number 🍊: That's my girl
🍒: [1 image attached] 🍊: Oh my fucking god 🍊: God took his time with you
🍒: Would you be mad at me if I punched you in the face? 🍊: What's the context love? Are we making out and you just started beating me up? 🍒: Why would I EVER do that??? 🍊: You tell me, you were the one who asked. 🍊: Wait you might actually be onto someting here love 🍒: THATS IT, SEX BAN 🍊: WHAT
🍒: What is taking you so long? 🍊: Lady at the cashier won't leave me alone 🍒: Please hurry up I want you to eat me out :( [Tan reacted with ❤️] 🍒: Tell her "husband duties are calling"
🍋) Silly goofy guy
🍋: I'm really over here with Aristotle talking about plumbs and farmers and shit
🍒: Did you actually got into a fight with that Kimura guy just because he said he didn't like my tie? 🍋: Cherry defender first, human second
🍋: Bro is not listening to me 🤼‍♂️ 🍒: I'll hear you out on Henrys 🍋: [voice message: 42:33]
🍋: Got bored so I drew you 🍋: [1 image attached] 🍒: Thanks !! 🍒: Why do I have 3 fingers on each hand though? 🍋: I stole the other four
🍒: Are the cookies you left for me a prank? 🍋: Are they that bad? 🍒: What?? No!! Of course not!! 😊 I loved them!! 🫶 🍋: I got a feeling you're being sarcastic
🍋: Tan said nobody likes lemons 🍒: I'll kill him
🍒: The bartender asked for my phone number 🍋: BOOOOOO 📢📢 every time 🍒: I gave him Tan's number. Wanna catfish him? 🍋: LETS GO I LOVE THE WAY YOU THINK
🍊🍋🍒) The fruit bowl
🍊: The group name is stupid 🍋: IT'S GENIUS 🍒: It's literally what we are 🍊: I think I should've named the group so it wouldn't be something stupid 🍋: "Tangerines are sophisticated" This you❓ 🍒: Point and laugh 🫵🤣 🍊: Piss off
🍋: I burned the pasta 🍊: You can cook? 🍋: I tried 🍊: Never do it again 🍋: Piss off at least I wasn't the one who dropped the pod on the floor 🍒: This is why you two aren't allowed in my kitchen
🍊: I'm just saying, relationships should be 50/50 🍊: She looks pretty, while I growl at anyone who looks at her 🍋: It's getting harder and harder to defend you 🍒: People are gonna think you're insane 🍋: He is
🍋: [1 image attached, it's a selfie of us three] 🍋: BOY WE SEE THEM BABY BLUES 🍒: I swear people don't even say bless you anymore, they just stare at you like that 🍊: Do you two ever stop to think about what you're saying? 🍋: No 😼 🍒: Nope 🍊: It shows
yeah no kidding you aced the shit out of these!!! and they are so fun to read !! I definitely get what you mean now by them being fun😭
LOVE LOVE LOVED them all but these have gotta be my faves
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THIS ONE??? had my cracking up. was still thinking about it and laughing to myself ages after reading 😭😭
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little off the top and the ring comment 😭
and giving the guy tan number and him saying that’s my girl🫠
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god took his time with you??? melting
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WHY IS THAT SO ACCURATE!!! lemon definitely sends really long voice messages and spams with videos. like he’s giving you mini personal vlogs😭😭😭 he just starts talking about the most random shit walking around the house. “… yeah they said his car is fucked— no way. I just found this.” and holds it out to the camera and then he carries on with whatever he was saying before
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I feel like he struggled to draw all 10 fingers and got fed up so gave you simpson hands instead
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madeintheniamh · 1 year
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Heyyyyy! Can you do one where Tilly gets her first boyfriend, and Harry really wants to meet him so she brings him home for dinner? And after words Harry is all sentimental that she’s going up and stuff :))))) Love your stories btw
it's here! i put a bit of a spin on it but hope you still like it anyway xx
posh boys with rich girls
stmf one shot #15
when harry dropped tilly off at the prep school gates for the first time nearly fifteen years ago, he didn't realise that he had signed his future self up for having to deal with the notoriously stuck up private school boys.
a/n: this is exactly what i think a casual saturday in the styles house would be like. pizza and wine always. absolutely no 'posh people' food as harry would probably call it.
warnings: fluff, dadrry, teenagers, rich stuck up boys lol
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Tilly had convinced herself that she could keep a secret from her Dad for once in her life, because she knew how protective he could be over her. He got scared when she fell from extension as a flyer in cheer- so imagining how dramatic he’d be when he found out about her new boyfriend made her stomach churn a bit. In his eyes, no one would ever be good enough for his girls- apart from him. This was quite a narcissistic way of putting it, he knew that, but he couldn’t help his standards being so high.
“You’re going out with Este again?” He joked. “I didn’t know she got a new car,”
“Yes, haha,” Tilly tried to chuckle, her face going red. “It’s really nice,”
“Can I come outside and see it?”
She shuffled around on the spot, trying to hide the fact that she was lying through her teeth.
“We’re busy, Daddy,” She bit her lip slightly, as he surveyed her guilty face. “We’re already late, I-”
Her face was now a shade of crimson as he pressed the button on the control to zoom in on the image on the security cameras that were on the driveway.
“Wow, didn’t know Este had her haircut, either,”
She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and began to bite one of her nails. “Yeah, looks nice,”
“Matilda Gemma,” He tutted, a line forming in-between his eyebrows. “Are you lying to your Daddy?”
She scorned slightly. “No, I would never lie to you,”
He took her chin in his palm and forced her to look into his eyes. “You know I don’t like it when you lie to me, Tilly Gem,”
She shivered, feeling his cold breath on the side of her neck. “M’not lying, I swear,”
“Why don’t you want me to come out there then, hmm?”
“Okay! I’m lying! Stop looking at me like that, it’s scaring me!” She threw her hands up in defeat.
“Well, is he from school? What’s his name? How long have you been seeing him?” Harry panted, his voice beginning to become shaky. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“I knew you’d be funny about it!” Tilly shouted as she began to turn back towards the front porch.
“What do you mean?” Harry protested. “I’m never funny about anything!”
“Right now, look, you’re being weird, stop!” Tilly scolded, one hand on the door handle, the other on her purse.
“You tell him he’s coming round for dinner this weekend, no excuses!” Harry shouted back at her, as she was now halfway down the drive. “I need to meet him!”
---
Henry had gotten with a few rich girls in his time, and had met many of their rich Dads as a result. But none like Tilly Styles. Most girls who went to private school in North London had Dads who worked as plastic surgeons on Harley Street, or were big bosses in corporate in those tall towers in Canary Wharf. She had promised him that her dad was perfectly normal, even if he was one of the most famous men in the music industry. But of-course he was normal to her, he thought, because he was her dad.
“I’m not scared of a man who sings about fruit, I’m not scared of a man who sings about fruit,” He muttered to himself repeatedly as he sat nervously behind the wheel of his BMW. He looked up at the house in front of him, and shuddered slightly. He was rich himself- his father was a CEO at one of the big law firms in Westminster. But he hadn’t realised just how rich Harry Styles really was. He couldn’t understand how Tilly was so humble, having grown up in a house like this. He was probably half a mile away from the front door- fountains at the centre of the drive which a lush collection of cars hid behind, including Tilly’s little Audi TT, which was pretty scratched up as a result of her questionable parking every morning at Sixth Form. He jumped slightly as the hands-free system on his car began to speak.
1 new message from Tils
“we can see you hiding in the car… just come out already he’s really not that bad”
Swearing to himself, he opened the car door and made the long trek down the drive, before finally reaching the sheltered porch and ringing the button on the door. He thought that Tilly almost looked out of place as she opened it. She was wearing a white button up dress, her hair curled into tiny blonde ringlets that rested just below her collarbone.
“Hi,” He smiled awkwardly, struggling to put his hands around her back with a bottle of red wine in one hand, and a bunch of flowers in the other.
“These are so pretty, thank you,” She smiled, as he handed her the bouquet. “I love daisies, they’re my favourite,”
He caressed her back slightly, as he heard a deep laugh come from down the hallway. She took the bottle of wine from his other hand and began to laugh.
“Think Daddy’s already had too much of this,” She chuckled, as she turned and began to walk towards the kitchen. She turned around and noticed he was still stood by the front door.
“Come on, don’t be scared,” She giggled again, dimples beginning to show on her cheeks, gesturing for him to follow her. “He’s just a tall, soppy man,”
Harry still had a glass in his hand as he watched Tilly walk into the kitchen, and stood up from where he was sitting at one of the bar stools. He was wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a loose band t-shirt. It was hard to tell that he was a 42-year-old multi-millionaire just by looking at him.
“Daddy, this is Henry,”
“Hi, Mr Styles,” He tried to smile, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes.
“Harry is fine,” Harry laughed, holding his hand out. “Although, our names are similar, so that could get confusing. You’re the posh version of me,”
Henry tried to laugh as he shook his hand, but it sounded more like a cough. He looked over at Tilly, who was clearly amused by the awkward situation. He noticed all the tattoos littering his left arm. His father had always told him that rich people never got tattoos, because it wasn’t classy. But he had to admit- it looked good on Harry, even if some of them were starting to fade.
“Do you want to sit down?” Tilly asked, trying to break the silence. “The pizza’s going to be here in a minute,”
You had been in the utility room, silently listening in on the conversation whilst waiting putting the finishing touches on the crème brulee which you planned to serve for dessert. It was almost perfect timing, as the timer went off and you strolled into the kitchen, chuckling slightly at the wide-eyed look on Tilly’s new boyfriend’s face.
“Hi, Henry,” You smiled. “I hope he hasn’t scared you,”
“Oh, no, Mrs Styles, it’s just, you have such a nice house and everything,”
Tilly jutted in. “Daddy works hard, too hard,” She giggled, as Harry passed her a handful of 20 pound notes to give to the delivery driver. Henry looked at her wide eyed. His father would never give tips to people in those sort of jobs.
“I hope pizza is okay for you, it’s what we always have on a Saturday night… a Styles family tradition, I guess,”
“No, that sounds lovely,” He smiled. “But we usually have filet mignon on Saturdays,”
You swore you heard Harry scoff, as Henry’s eyes grew even wider when he saw the three of you begin to open the boxes, not even bothering to plate up the food properly.
“So, Henry,” Harry drawled slightly, the wine beginning to go to his head, as he shovelled a slice of pizza into his mouth. “What do your parents do?”
“Well, my Father works in the legal sector, and my Mother well, she spends most of her time at the country club,”
Harry tried not to choke on his food as he held back a laugh. “Wow, clever people jobs,” He snorted slightly. “What are you going to do when you finish your A-Levels?”
“My father says he is going to get me a job, in the legal industry,” Henry replied, you cringing slightly at the received pronunciation with which he pronounced his words.
“Sounds… interesting,” Harry replied, turning at you and rolling his eyes slightly.
---
After a couple of hours of awkward conversation, he had gone home and Tilly had gone back upstairs. You and Harry were still sat at the kitchen counter, as Harry filled up his glass of wine for the 5th time that night. His voice had gotten slow- painfully slower than it usually was, as he told you literally everything he had been thinking for the past few hours.
“I knew Mum was right when she said we should have sent them both to schools up North,” he sighed, fiddling with one of the rips in his jeans.
“What do you mean, lovey?” You asked, not quite understanding what he meant. “They’ve both been fine, here,”
“Ohhhh, my Father works in the legal sector,” Harry mocked, too drunk to notice the room’s newest occupant, who had come downstairs to get herself a glass of water, and was now staring wide eyed at Harry. “Their accents are already too posh for me, I just want them to be normal, and be around normal people, not with a load of rich twats,”
“Harry,” you gestured to your daughter who was now stood still at the opposite side of the room.
“Oh hey, Tils, you okay?”
“-You don’t like him.” She scorned, her brows becoming furrowed in the way that his did whenever he was annoyed.
“Tilly, I- that’s not true-”
“I knew I shouldn’t have brought him round.” She sulked, beginning to walk away, before Harry got up from the counter and blocked her from leaving.
“Hey, look, baby-girl, it’s not that I don’t like him,”
“Then why did you just say that? I heard everything,”
“Look, come and sit down with your Daddy,” he sighed, gesturing for her to follow him to the sofa next to the patio doors. He stroked a hand through a ringlet of her hair as she lent into him.
“I don’t not like him. He seems like a nice guy, he really does. It’s just hard for me to see you growing up, sometimes, because you and your sister are my babies, and it’s really hard for me to let go of you both,” He explained, as she placed her arm around his shoulder. “I can’t really explain it, but that’s just how it is, and I just don’t want you to get hurt, because it would hurt me, too,”
She laughed slightly, almost not believing what he had said. “But Daddy, I’m nearly eighteen,” She laughed. “You’ll have to let me go when I go to uni in September,”
“I know, I know,” he exhaled slowly. “Doesn’t make it easier, though, because you’re still my little girl. I still remember when you were little and I used to take you to ballet lessons,”
Tilly giggled a bit. “I made you wear the tutu, didn’t I,”
“You did,” He laughed, peppering a kiss to her forehead. “And I loved every second of it,”
She fully relaxed into his tall frame, feeling his slow heartbeat underneath her.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all,” He sighed. “Boys can be arses, I know that. And you’re the most important thing in the world to me, and it would break me,”
She took a deep breath, nuzzling her chin into his warm chest. “Okay, Daddy,”
“You promise me that no matter what, you know you can tell me anything, and I’ll be there, always. Promise.”
He looked down at her, green eyes identical to his staring back at him. “And fuck filet mignon on Saturdays- what even is that? Pizza is way better.”
---
i had to google what filet mignon actually was lol. looking at the photos it looks absolutely grim. how do people eat that. harry is right. pizza is always better.
if you enjoyed this one shot, i have linked the masterlist to my slipping through my fingers series here!
also thank you to the anon who requested this- please request more i beg you <3
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