#GOOD NIGHT ITS 330AM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drkcnry67 · 4 years

Text

title: will you be my date?

pairing: Jensen x reader

fluff 2020 sq: fake dating

rating: pg-13

tags: flirtation, wedding date, fake wedding date, meeting again first time in months, meeting the friends, faking it for the press, whats fake becomes reality, alot of fluffiness ness

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo

fluff 2020 masterlist part 1 part 2

our reader had met Jensen in disney world orlando of all places their month long vacay was spent together, their lives forever changed by that moment. now we come in after they have been apart and not seen eachother for almost 7 months.

it had almost been 7 months since the vacation that changed your entire life. you had gone and gotten a press job, you were set to cover a wedding in california in the next few weeks.

you made ready to travel and of course your best friend was coming with you. every good journalist needs a second in command. someone to take notes and answer calls and such. she was happy to do so.

Beth: “whose wedding are we covering?”

YN: “i dont know but its gonna be a wedding for the ages. i just hope there is no surprises while we are there and that we can outscoop those vulture presses in california.”

Beth: “why do they always have you covering weddings?”

YN: “cause my first article was a small wedding cover on a teacher at the university who had asked me to cover their wedding for the school paper. this firm liked how i did it so they have me covering weddings of all types.”

Beth: “have you heard from him?”

you smiled cause you knew she would ask. she always did like the caring best friend she was.

YN: “yes he said he was gonna be traveling for work in the next few days. so we will find time to talk in the next week or so.”

Beth smiled she knew you had fallen hard for Jensen and the way she had heard you speak about him she knew he had to be your one. as you were his.

Beth: “dont fret girl, you both will be back to your text routine in the next week. right now we have things to prepare. now lets go through the checklist.”

ah yes the check list. the same one you both went through a few days before every single trip you both took. this list went as follows:

pack: toiletries, 4 shirts, 2 pants, 2 skirts, 2 shorts, 2 sweater, 5 dresses, 4 shoes, camera, tripod, notbook, laptops, and other such equipment.

print out flight info, press papers and such.

call the landlord and let him know bout your trip and that he can collect and drop off your mail.

call your familys to let them know that you both were going on another trip.

double checking that you have everything packed the night before your flight.

eat when at the airport easier and less likely to be hungry on the flight.

call your boss and let her know your getting on the flight.

that was the list. this list gets checked, checked and triple checked. making sure that anything and everything you both would/might need while away was with you. this was your normal.

there were times you wished you could see jensen even for a moment to tell him of your stronger feelings. cause that was something that you simply did not do over text.

5 am flights are evil, but 330am flights are the devil. the good news was that you had this was the best flight of your life and best part was that your boss charged everything to the company card including any spending you girls may do while there,

being in this field of profession was amazing. most of the time you both took full advantage of this. okay all the time. this was the few times where you could both splurge and not worry bout the bank accounts.

Jensen was the one who was also boarding a flight at the same time. little did you both know was that you would see eachother sooner than you both would think.

Jensen: “bro i wish i could see her again trust me when i say i feel it, she is my soulmate. she is the one i am meant to be with for the rest of my life. but how do i tell her of these feelings over text. it doesnt seem right. when/if i see her again im gonna tell her the truth.”

Jared: “if fate comes together the way it should, you will in time bro. you will see her again and have the chance to tell her the truth.”

Jensen: “ya i guess your right. so you ready to go. Misha isnt gonna wait forever.”

within a few hours on a flight you and your bestie were at the airport, grbabing your luggage and heading to meet the cab to get to the hotel you were staying at.

the Ayres Hotel Manhattan Beach LAX this was one of the nicest hotels you both had stayed at in your adventures. you checked in and went to your room.

YN: “do you think i could ever be truly happy.?.”

Beth: “what ever would give you such an idea that you wouldnt be?”

YN: “maybe the fact that Jensen is all i have been able to think about when it comes to dating and i have no idea where he is or if i will ever see him again.”

Beth: “believe me girl when i say that you will find your happily ever after with the right man, whether that be Jensen or not.”

YN: “thank you for being my best friend.”

Beth: “your welcome now lets get into something cute and go for a stroll through town there are bound to be a few small shops that we want to hit. dont worry bout anything girl. we will find love soon. both of us. dont worry about any of this relationship buisness. now whose wedding are we covering this time.”

you took out the notes and looked at the name. before now you had not heard of the show supernatural. you were not in the know how, you were in the comic book side of things and more into superheros. Supernatural never came up.

Beth was the one person who you always counted on when you were well going through life. you knew that one day maybe sometime soon, you would find thr one person you were always meant to be with, or the fact that you possibly have already found yours.

Jensen and Jared were in the same area as you and Beth little did you know that you would both bump into the 2 men who one of which had already strolled into your life and practically stollen your heart.

Jensen and Jared were walking in suit of you and Beth neither of you aware of the other party. but as Jensen and Jared were walking along they realized that they hadnt eaten.

you had made your way into the food court with Beth, you both sat in the santa lucia in that food court waiting for your pasta bowls. both of you waiting for the pasta and thats when you heard it, when your ears caught wind of the voice you had not heard for almost 7 months. the voice that had calmed you down.

the voice that made your vacation in florida alot better. you got up out of your seat and turned around.

YN: “Jensen.”

at the sound of his name Jensen turned towards you. it was like something out of a hollywood movie, you both moved magnetized towards eachother landing once more in eachothers embrace. after months of not having seen eachother, not being able to feel a single touch or to hear a voice was as breathtaking as the day you both first met.

lingering in the embrace for a while made both of your best friends finally realize what the hell just happened.

Jensen: “omg i cant believe that your here.”

YN: “you cant believe it, neither can i. but what are you doing here i thought you were working?”

Jensen: “im the best man at my other best friends wedding.”

You smiled…

YN: “what a coincidence im here as a journalist to cover a wedding suppsed to be a huge deal and im supposed to get the best most amazing article ever again.”

Jensen and Jared decided they would join you and Beth for lunch so you and Jensen could have some time.

Jensen: “im sorry i didnt tell you where or what…”

YN: “no worries. neither of us lied we just werent specific. whose your best friend whose getting married.”

Jensen: “whose your client?”

Beth chimes in at that moment…

Beth: “why dont you both say the first name at the same time on the count of 3.”

you and Jensen turned to face eachother as the countdown started…

Beth: “1… 2… 3…”

both you and Jensen had taken a huge breath to make sure that it would come out clear as a bell.

Both (Jensen & YN): “Misha…”

the looks of shock crossed both of your features…

Jensen: “your one of the reporters covering my best friends wedding…”

YN: “yes and im gonna write a better article than any of them… i have many journalist enemies. ask Beth my best friend and partner in journalist crime fighting.”

Jensen: “its very nice to finally meet you Beth YN has spoken nothing but good things about her best friend. my best friend in the universe is the man sitting right beside yours this is Jared…”

Jared who now was gazing at Beth turned to you to greet you.

Jared: “its an honor to meet the mystery woman who my brother here had not shut up about. dude did you tell her?”

Jensen now had his hand around yours firmly but neither of you had noticed anyone out of the ordinary around. but in truth there were photographers. hidden ones 2 of them, snapping photos of you Jensen Jared and Beth little known to any of you but your photos would be all over the tabloids in the morning of next.

unbeknown to those photographers your boss was also a lawyer and she would eat those photographers bosses for breakfast lunch dinner and dessert.

Jensen: “Jared, Misha and i are celebrities we are the main stars of the hit tv show Supernatural…”

YN: “i didnt realize.. i mean no disrespect or anything but i would have had no idea that you were a celebrity if you had not just told me…”

Jensen: “i hope your not mad that i didnt tell you.”

You put your hand on his and smiled.

YN: “i am not mad at all… umm there is nothing about this in any of my books.”

Jensen: “well we will have lunch, all 4 of us will go shopping and touring and then we will go back to the hotel and introduce you to our hit tv show. speakign of which what hotel are you guys at?”

you were smiling as you pulled the room card out and showed it to Jensen, who just smiled happily like a kid in a candy store. this was probably the happiest moment you had experienced since your vacation to florida.

Jensen: “so we are in the same hotel and our suites are right beside eachother. this is gonna be the best few weeks ever…”

YN: “agreed plus now you can experience the world the way i see it…”

Jensen: “i look forward to it… now whats for lunch?”

You smiled and remembered how much you missed Jensen’s commitment to every single meal…

YN: “never ending pasta bowls if the waitress comes back… but i was now thinking maybe we can all just split a couple pizzas whatever we dont eat we can get in take out containers and eat for dinner tonight… oh that reminds me Beth did you bring the list and the bags?”

Beth smiled and nodded. you had the backpack she had the purse and the shopping bags. the guys got the just of what you were talking about when they saw all the bags…

Jensen: “wow you are gonna do some massive shopping hmm…”

YN: “well we dont plan to eat out every single night and day… sure we are on company card with no limits but thats not how we roll we always stay in a hotel with a suite style so kitchenette and such…thats why we are where we are.”

Jensen: “you are as smart as you are cunning and beautiful. now lets go shopping and maybe ill get something special for a special girl.”

this made your heart flutter of course neither you not Jensen had admitted anytihng yet. but maybe it will come out soon. but not right then.

YN: “your so sweet… but i am still hungry…”

Jensen: “then lets bring the waiter and order our food…”

Jensen waves down the waitress who comes take your order and comes back 20 min later with your food, the bags full of your pizzas portioned into meals, as well as the pasta bowl for you all to split.

after lunch, you all exited the food court and went to walk around. you and Beth hit several hundred stores for clothing, stationary, electronics, groceries etc. Jensen had bought several items since he went everywhere you did as Jared did Beth.

Jared: “i have an idea why dont we all watch supernatural together i think both of these ladies deserve to see why we are some of the countries most amazing actors. cause im sure we have enough snacks to make it quite far in the show. plus i think we can all also play a game or 2 of truth or dare… make this a game night…”

with everyone in agreemnet, you all hit a few more shops on the way back to the hotel. arms full of shopping bags full of food and miscellanious items of various varieties. including another 2 small suitcases to help bring back everything you and Beth bought.

arriving back at the hotel, you all head into your seperate rooms to put down all your shopping stuff, then Jensen and Jared arrive back a few moments later to see you going through the papers on the table.

Jensen: “what are you doing beautiful?”

YN: “going over my list so i know what i have to bring to the wedding… which i know isnt for a few days yet but if i want to write the best article and make my boss proud once again i have to do all the research i can…”

Jensen looked at Jared who nodded his head as both of them were thinking the exact same idea…

Jensen: “do you want a few quotes from us as we are in the wedding party…”

you grabbed your notebook questionaire and pen and ushered the guys to the table. where sitting down the following interview took place:

YN: “thank you both of you for offering to give me some insight ahead of the wedding. i know you both are dedicated to every cause you must be involved in but you both have so many talents. can either of you tell me any details about the wedding from your perspective?”

Jared ushers to Jensen for him to answer the question…

Jensen: “Misha is our dear friend, brother and co star so its an honor for us to have helped him with his wedding. this wedding contains a kind of simpleness that would soothe any bad mood. from what ive seen of the hall already it looks amazing and the couple is happy as can be. we are all very exicted about the big day.”

you finish writing down the quote and then you smile as you look at your question list.

YN: “one more question, who will both of you be bringing to the wedding as your dates?”

Jensen: “im going solo to see what the evening harolds for me.”

Jared: “same here, cause we mostly want to make that evening about Misha and Victoria, they need to have the most amazing day ever and if we can find our happiness during the event then we will pursue whatever comes our way.”

YN: “thank you both of you for those beautiful words. ill definately have the best article now… i believe someone said something about introducing us to Supernatural. and will there be some cuddling involved?”

you sent a wink Jensen’s way..

Jensen: “so ladies where are we watching the show? out here or in one of the bedrooms?”

both beth and Jared noticed the subtle enchanges between you and Jensen, knowing that with the cuddling would come eventually fallin asleep into your afternoon naps, which usually would take place after lunch.

you held Jensen’s hand leading him into the bedroom where the bed was right in front of the television. this television was already programed with netflix and such.

Jensen and you took off your coats and shoes and got cozy on the bed. Jared and Beth sat on the fouton couch and quietly watched you and Jensen hoping that you both would find happiness in eachother.

but it was up to you and Jensen to figure out from within yourselves first if you both truly wanted this. Jared and Beth wouldnt interfere… they just wanted their friends to be happy.

YN: “okay whose got the remote cause we dont.”

Beth: “im on it bestie…”

she shot a wink your way and you smiled as Jensen’s hand was on your thigh under the blanket. his fingers cool to the touch on your skin. this was your happy place.

Jared: “you both are gonna love this show…”

the pilot starts and you feel Jensen’s fingers tracing circles into your thigh, Jared and Beth are on the couch looking all normal cozy. you and Jensen were all bed cozy.

at the end of the pilot you and Jensen nodded off, the exhaustion had finally caught up, your head was Nestled into Jensen’s neck his arms were around your form as you both were passed out.

Jared: “they passed out faster than expected. would you like to go back to my room so these 2 can sleep for the night in peace.”

Beth: “lets go cause im sure they arent waking up anytime soon.”

Beth and Jared sneak out of the hotel room, you and jensen remain peacefully asleep, this was your salvation. this was to be your future if you played your cards right.

several hours later you and Jensen stirred to the smell of Bacon and food variants. Waking up you both smiled and got up walking out of the bedroom and into the main room.

On the table was the rolled up newspaper, you un rolled it, that’s when you got up and backed against the wall. You were starting to break down.

Jensen: “YN what’s wrong?”

You only pointed to the newspaper on the table and started to cry. Jensen looked at the paper and would have fallen on the ground if the chair had not been there. That’s when Jared and Beth saw the paper.

Jared: “oh my God!”

Beth: “shit. Jensen get YN into the other room and make sure she has her phone she needs to call her boss now!”

Jensen gets to you and carries you to the bedroom, both of you sitting on the bed. He hands you your phone with which you hold before it rings. Jensen takes your phone and answers it:

Jensen: “hello."

Talia: "is YN there? I saw something on the tabloids and… Wait a minute are you Jensen?”

Jensen: “yes thats me… i wish i was meeting the woman who YN says is the best boss in the universe under better circumstances. she and i both saw the paper, she is in shock… she is unresponsive im afraid…”

Talia: “can you put me on speaker so she can hear what i have to say…”

Jensen puts you on speaker.

talia: “YN i know you are on the verge of a breakdown but i just spoke to the LA times and they are using it as blackmail against you. they want you to drop your claim on covering the wedding of Misha Collins and if you dont they will keep following you and Jensen and spreading more and more destruction to your name. i can not even stress how this looks, i hope this works out im also negociating with the director of the LA times on your behalf. you both cannot afford to be seen in public together before the wedding. so take great care and be careful.”

YN: “talia please be smart when negociating with these LA Times Snakes. and please keep us informed as to what you find. and tell them i will not renounce my claim on this story, i will not be bullied into something as petty as blackmail for finding someone special and sitting down to have lunch with them but thank you for talking to them...”

Talia: “your welcome. talk to you soon.”

the call disconnects leaving both you and Jensen in the bedroom. this was to be your downfall. you could not handle being the center of attention especially now knowing that it was blackmail.

YN: “im so sorry about this Jensen. if not for me you would never have gotten involved with this stupid News paper company. the la times has been after me for years. since my first time covering weddings here in LA i have been at war with the LA times. and this is the last straw. they have finally played their dirty card. fine i guess it will have to be most upsetting to them when they learn why im the best at writing wedding articles which they are about to learn this lesson the hard way.”

Jensen: “let me call Misha so we can figure this out…”

Jensen pulls out his phone and hits dial on Misha’s number… once Misha answers the following conversation takes place:

Misha: “ah its my best man…”

Jensen: “have you seen the la times today good buddy?”

Misha yells to be handed the paper and gasps as soon as he sees it…

Misha: “thats the girl whose supposed to be covering the wedding. shoot me a text on where you guys are. ill find a way to come to you… or i can meet you wherever whenever i just need to know more.”

Jensen: "drive your self for this one Misha cause no one can be trusted, the LA times is blackmailing YN we are currently on lockdown in the Ayres Hotel Manhattan Beach LAX. Pull to the underground parkade entrance, wait for jared he will meet you down there and he will drive you into the parkade and park the car in our room spot. He will then bring you up to the room where we are."

Your only concern was that your feelings were growing stronger, neither of you were fully aware yet of the others affections for the other.

You and Jensen spent the next few days away from public eye, before the wedding hanging out binging supernatural with Jared and Beth as well as playing monopoly.

Oh that was how you all showed your awful sides. Of course Jensen was sweet at times during the game but not always. Then it was the night before the wedding, this was to be the night that you would supposed to present your feelings out loud to Jensen.

you and Beth were getting ready to leave, Beth making sure that she had everything for the both of you to have an amazing evening as well as get the article done and the photos and everything else.

Beth: “are you sure you should still go and cover the wedding...”

YN: “im not gonna let these LA snakes get away with blackmailing me i need to do this... i need to prove that i cant be scared so easily. plus if i dont go tonight i wont probably get another chance to tell Jensen how i truly feel. now do you have everything?”

Beth: “yes i have the bags, the camera, the spare camera, and everything else that i think we will possibly need for tonight. dont worry girl, jensen misha Jared and everyone else will be there to safe guard you from the horrible snakes. now lets go. Jared is downstairs with Jensen in the car.”

You both head down the elevator and smile alot, the dresses you both now wore flowing with each graceful step you both took.

The car became into view, Jensen and Jared were waiting to help you both into the vhicle...

Jensen: “my god you girls look fantastic. YN lets kick some reporter ass...”

YN: “exactly. now lets go this...”

Beth and Jared look at the way you and Jensen are with eachother and come up with a brilliant idea...

beth: “fake it... guys you already act like a couple so take it a step further fake date fake being a couple at the wedding only a few of us will know the truth but the others will have no idea that its fake. the fact that the times already thinks you a couple, so why not trick them into thinking they were right.”

you and Jensen agreed, for the sake of your sanity and your job you had to sell this fake reality of you and Jensen as a couple, also it might be the easiest way to confess your feelings to Jensen...

jensen: “im game, if it means getting those la snakes to back the fuck off..”

YN: “absolutely. plus it will make one hell of a bonus article. and for once i would be in the news instead of reporting it... beth could write the article...”

Beth: “it would be an honor. how long till we arrive at the site of the wedding...”

Jared: “about 10 minutes.”

Jensen: “how bout when we walk up we pose some romanitic photos let them chew it all up, then when its right we tell them this rivalry is over... but kinda want to make sure tonight is as realistic as possible.”

YN: “but of course we will do what we can to make tonight real.”

the car stops and you look out the window...

YN: “i am so scared of this, but there is a massive part of me thats like this is gonna be the best end to the rivalry i could have ever asked for. now lets kick some la snake ass!”

Jensen opens the door and steps out first, Jared follows then Jensen holds his hand out to you which you graciously accept. the press begins to have a field day, they begin to snap photos and try to get quotes from both you and Jensen.

Jared and Beth are right behind you. all of you stopping every so often for photos but not talking to the press, that would be for later.

Jared and jensen led both you and Beth to the back where Misha and Victoria were Beth put her bag for you and her back there as the song started.

The people gathered in their seats. You guys filled Misha and vic in on the plan. the ceremony started, the music played Jared and Beth went down the aisle first, Beth stood on the brides side while jared stood on the grooms side.

Jared: “hey how do those LA snakes look?”

Beth takes a small glance at them...

Beth: “they are chattering amongst themselves. their photographer is also itching to take more phtoos of Jensen and YN... do you think this is gonna work?”

Jared: “as long as everyone else does their part, there will be victory for us this day!”

the processional continued with you and jensen coming down the aisle. the camera lights flashing many many times. you and Jensen split to your seperate sections as the song changed.

Misha came out first and stood to the left of jensen. then victoria came out a few moments later. her walk up the aisle turned many heads. you had set up 2 tri pods that were catching the photos on your press of a button.

this article on the wedding would be amazing! Your heart begins racing a thousand miles a minute, beth hiddenly puts her calming hand on the small of your back... there was a huge pit in your stomach, you didnt know why but there wasnt alot else to say about that.

Priest: “i now pronounce you husband and Wife. Misha you may now kiss your bride...”

you go into happy mode as the wedding ceremony finishes, misha and victoria exit the ceremony hall back to the starting room with you jensen jared and beth behind them.

Misha: "i cant believe that just happened. Jensen YN we are very impressed with how you both are pulling this off... “

YN: “thank you but i am very very shakey right now i need to breathe.”

Jensen watches as you go to the window and stand there... he then turns back to the others...

Jensen: “guys we need to divide and conquer... during the speeches tonight i will confess my love to YN, and when i do she will realize that my feelings are as real as hers... yes i know her feelings are real... i have been noticing the signs... tonight not only do we take down those LA snakes but i also confess something alot larger than any of us know.. the power of true love.”

Beth: “let me go see how YN is doing i have known her for well ever and she does well under most pressure but this is breaking point. she needs the right kind of comfort... we have been through many of these through the years of reporting and its always the LA snakes that set it off... now lets see if i can coax her out of the corner.”

Beth went over to you, she didn't want you to feel alone. But she wanted to make sure you were okay.

Beth: "you okay girl."

YN: "no the way those snakes were looking at me was nerve wrecking. I have never been the news in this way before. I am scared they can't be allowed to get my rep down the bad way."

Beth: "and you think this plan of yours is gonna work out for the best?"

YN: “it has to, i have to show the world that i am no one to be triffled with, i have to make them regret messing with me, i have to show the world that i am no longer the same mild reporter who started covering weddings all those years ago. i have to show the world who i belong too. Jensen is the one. he is the one that i want to spend the rest of my life with. i just hope that he feels it too.”

Beth gave you a side hug. this is your best friend, the one person who you can count on. pretty easily i may add. anyway, you and Beth walked back to the wedding party.

Jensen: “ready to go mingle the press... eevryone know the plan?”

everyone nods, Jensen takes your hand followed by Beth and Jared walking out to greet the crowd. ignoring the press for now you all mingle with the different guests, the press just turn their noses, the tripods still doing their jobs, oh man was Beth gonna be surprised at all the amazing photos. also great for a photo album.

YN: “just be prepared for anything. me and Beth went round and set up some tripods, controlled by the touch of a button, that Beth will have control of right now. i have 1 particular shot that i feel might get those snakes to reer their ugly mugs... just dont let me fall..”

Jensen: “im down, besides i would never let you fall.”

you, Jensen, beth and Jared all greeting guests and smiling photographers taking photos or at least trying to, but something kept making them blury. oh ya it was the extra flashes that you and Beth had installed.

Jared stepped away from you all for a moment to go to the podium.

Jared: “thank you all for coming out, the wedding party myself included would like to thank you all in honor of the bride and Grooom for coming out to this momentus occasion. the bride and Groom will make their appearance again shortly but first things first every please find somewhere to sit, make yourselves comfortable. and ill be back up here shortly to introduce the wedding party including myself as sooon as i get the okay. now find your seat!”

while everyone made their ways to their seats, you Jensen and Beth were waiting by the wedding party entrance.Jared came back and smiled standing by Beth.

Beth: “how did those snakes look?”

Jared: “they looked positively pissed that they havent gotten any good shots of YN and Jensen. something about the flashes or something like that. i have no idea. honestly im gonna be happy if this plan works. so when it comes time for the speeches, obviously Misha and Vic will go last, jensen and YN will go second ill go up with Beth first... once everyone is seated that is...”

looking at all the people now fully seated there were so many feelings swirling inside you. but about 99.9% of those feelings were nerves, the nerves of what was about to happen.

Jensen: “your gonna do amazing, just keep calm and know im not gonna let you fall. do not let these snakes get the better of you.”

YN: “i know. i just hope they don’t come out of this trapsing my name more through the mud and flushing my career further down the toilet. i cant begin to describe how i am feeling at the moment, i just want you to know that whatever happens out there, whatever is said, i want you to know that everything is the truth.”

Jensen smiled as Jared and Beth walked up to the podium as jared began to speak once more.

Jared: “whats good guys! i am Jared Padalecki groomsman to the groom, this lovely lady beside me is Beth Larsen bridesmaid to the bride. now the maid of honor and the best man are yet to appear but before they do let me introduce us a little bit. so i have known Misha for well several years now, our friendship became instant. when Misha got engaged both me and Jensen the best man, immediately threw him a bunch of parties, all 4 of us jumping immediately into wedding planning. we had our own ideals, we had alot of fun planning and putting all thought and soul into this special day. this is a day of memories, this is a momentous occassin that i am sure will go down in history as a wonderful wedding for the ages. now i am proud to introduce the wonderful Best Man and the even more lovely maid of honor, please put your hands together for Jensen and YN!”

the crowd went nuts, the photographers took photos and notes as you and Jensen walked up on stage together. standing at the podium side by side jensen speaks first.

Jensen: “thanks Jared for that awesome introduction. whats up Los Angelos!!! i am Jensen Ackles, the best man and Misha’s other best friend. when i heard Misha was getting married i was eccstatic. he was achieving the thing i want most in this world. is to be happy, to love and be loved in return. and in my own way i think ive found it.”

YN: “hey everyone, most of you reporters know me but for those that need a name to the face, my name is YN. my life is not always this glamorous. i cover weddings for a living. since this year began i have been on vacation met some new friends and happily i can announce that i think i’ve fallen in love. for these last few years i have been persecuted by one particular news group the LA times are blackmailing me, but i am here to tell you that i have to confess that this entire trip to LA has been mostly spent locked away in my hotel room. i had friends surrounding me, but you LA snakes do not scare me but you need to be scared of me. for everything that you guys are doing right now is being recorded, photos are being captured the credit for the article that will cover this wedding for my news paper forum goes to my best friend beth larsen. she has gotten every single moment and i hope she catches this one too.”

thats when you turn to jensen and smile as you hold both his hands in your own before continuing to speak.

YN: “7 and a half months ago, jensen walked into my life. literally. but our story was not too end there, what started out as embarrassing now comes round full circle. i know that this life isnt easy, and this is definately gonna drag my name through every single news board in the world. but Jensen i love you! its time i stop trying to fool myself by denying my feelings and just come out and say it. this is really sudden but will you consider coming back home with me and Beth once we are done here?”

Jensen looked at you like you were a completely different person, someone he knew but didnt know. someone who he knew he was meant to be with for eternity to come.

Jensen: “well as my flight is with Jared and seeing as though he seems pretty cozy with beth im gonna say yes i would be honored to come back home with you. YN i love you too. i just didnt know if you felt the same way. now as sure as i am standing here i know you are the one i want by my side always and forever.”

thats when he spun you round and kissed you, the passion bringing camera flashes from all across the room. the rest of the party reception thing was a blurr, the one thing that you and Jensen remmebered was the confessions you both had made. that was something neither of you would forget anytime soon.

~to be continued~

#spnfluffbingo

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tianamarieg · 6 years

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edc 2018 review

first timer at this event. i've been to smaller festivals for one day (escape twice, countdown nye, beyond wonderland, hard day of the dead) and a handful of shows.

some things to know: i am older, almost 30. i have done my fair share of partying in my 20s, so my body can't handle too much partying anymore. admittedly, i was scared i wouldn't be able to hang that long all 3 days. my bf has a lot more energy than i, so i didnt want to disappoint him by not being able to last! ended up doing a lot of research and planning ahead so i could pace myself.

i ended up really enjoying myself!

stay: i booked a hotel in hendersen thursday night and the next 3 nights booked an airbnb at a woman's house in north las vegas. without traffic was only a 15 min drive, with traffic about half an hour. not much traffic on our route though, so that was a plus. was also near a lot of food and stores, so very convenient. place ended up being gated and safe.

travel: first day we left fairly early around 430p and took uber for around $12. leaving around 330a though uber x wait was suuuuper long, waited a good 20 mins before someone suggested requesting an uber select or xl to get something quicker. ended up getting an uber select within minutes... for $88 😵. i mean it was $20 more than uber x so i thought it was worth it to not wait. the next two days we ended up driving our rental. left a little later like around 7pm and ended up getting in by 830p. i was scared the parking and lines would be ridiculous but getting there at that time ended up being pretty smooth. didnt wait much. (maybe camp edc this year really helped!) but i also read to not leave to go to the festival after 9p because thats when u end up sitting in traffic forever. i think it also helped a ton that we werent staying near the strip and we were fairly close to the speedway. on the second night we left around 3am only to get to our rental and discover wed lost the keys inside!!! freaked out, as anyone would. thankfully my bf calmed me through it and we were so lucky to have found the keys where we last sat at the carnival square 🙏🏻 that trek back and forth killed my body though. but it all worked out and was grateful! leaving around 4am second night and around 330am third night ended up smooth, no traffic. kinda regret not staying until sunrise at least one of the days, maybe night one, but i was pretty scared of the traffic. heard ppl wait hours in it so i really wanted to avoid it. overall, travel and getting in and out did not seem to be much of a hassel at all :)

rides: since we got in early the first day we managed to be on the first gondola wheel ride which was great. didnt ride anything after that because of the lines but if i were more patient and had stronger legs id try and wait to ride more.

food and drinks: so expensive and not worth it. spent $39 on two drinks with one shot each the first day and didnt dare spend more after that. its impossible to get a buzz unless you spend over $100. second day bought a small bottle and drank before entering which gave a good buzz but had to pee so bad in the security and check in line. luckily the wait wasnt long. tried the mac and cheese, cheese pizza, and fries with cheese.... all cost over $10 each. make sure u eat well before entering and if u plan on drinking good luck.

bathrooms: tread carefully lol. over 100k people each night. they do their best but its really hard to keep everything clean. try to use the stalls at the top of the stadium when u first get in. stalls at carnival square were so hot and musty.

the music and stages: wish i checked out more tbh. im reading about how the vibes at wasteland were great and never got to check it out. hung out mostly at circuit grounds and kinetic field.. really wish i walked around way more and checked out art cars and other stages. i spent a lot of time resting bc like i said im old and body needs rest haha. loved kaskade!! best set for me. hardwell threw down so that was fun, energy at circuit grounds was wild. martin garrix was great too. zedd was fun and good vibes as always but ive seen him like 10 times so it was predictable. suffered through dimitri vegas and like mike waiting for kaskade.. that was not fun for me. saw a bit of slander, illenium (cosmic meadows was packed for him), and zeds dead. the stages were so great.

i loved the attention to detail about this whole event. the lights, the stages, the decorations, the art cars, the cast members etc. its such a beautiful sight especially from the bleachers.

we didnt talk to many people unfortunately but the vibe still was great. i will say i read a lot of reports about pick pocketers. we were lucky not to have encountered those, but with any event you'll have your bad apples. also be careful of the undercovers. didnt see any myself but you never know whos watching you. always good to be sensible and safe. for all the bad theres also tons of people looking out for each other, which is great, offering snacks or water or even to fan you. everyones there to have a good time, so always know your limit and pace yourself and if someone looks like they need help dont be afraid to lend a hand!

overall had a great experience and would definitely go again! gotta really get fit so i can hang longer. other little festivals just wont be the same anymore after experiencing such a big event like this one.

will i have money for next year? we'll see.. but i definitely will be going again in the future

#edclv #edc #edclasvegas #edc2018 #insomniac #ravers #festivals #edm #ravelife #plur #plurlife #musicfestival

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atombombbibunny · 7 years

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I Know Part Three

Summary: Rafael invites you out for drinks.

Word Count: 2544 (Edited and updated)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing

A/N: Boom. Okay, so, this is officially going to have five parts. I just wanted to let you all know this is like a dream come true, getting any form of recognition is like... just the best feeling.

All of you are amazing and great and I love you from the bottom of my heart. I used to never give a shit in high school but somewhere along the lines I crawled back into my shell. You have all pulled me back out again, its been unreal.

Tag List: @danielsharaman @spoopy-piineapple @gingerpatchkidd @linfuckingmirandaaa @serkewen12 @juggiejuggs @probably-bianca @shamagangster @musicalmoriarty @ginnemer @getupoffathatthing-blog @the-sad-but-happy-person @schizophrenina @dontcallmehelpless @nadialinett14 @scum-fairy @sarcastic-ohohoh @astudentsnightmare @elisethepensivewriter @scrabblesense @doodleshorty @followingnaturespath @bumbleliv @mzqueentina @autistic-alien @imdreedinglife @olivelongnprosper @shy-and-awkward-daveed @iknowthekoolaidflavor @jantales

The second your door was closed your knees gave out, you wept sitting on the floor for a while. One of your biggest nightmares had come true, he was your best friend, you loved him, and all he did was use you. Slowly you moved towards the broken pile porcelain, you picked up the broken pieces and touched them gently, it was the mug he bought you for your birthday years ago, the Hufflepuff crest and words scattered on the floor.

You pushed your hair back as you begged to go back in time to two nights ago, to bite your tongue and smile through the night. To go back to when you weren’t losing your best friend…

You pulled yourself off the floor and brushed up the ruined mug, tossing it in the trash, you saw no point in fixing it now.

Finally, you reached for your phone, multiple texts from two nights ago sat on your lock screen.

Jasmine 1am :

You did so well tonight, I’m sorry.

Rafa 115am :

Y/N.

Anthony 130am :

Hey did you leave.

Daveed 131am :

Come back…

Lin 134am :

Hey sorry I didn’t catch up with you, have a good night. See you soon!

Daveed 134am :

Y/N, please come back, just come back, please.

Rafa 135am :

I’m so sorry

Rafa 138am :

Please answer me.

Rafa 145am :

You’re worrying me

Daveed 150am :

Y/N, please say something

Daveed 240am :

I can’t sleep…

Daveed 300am :

Why did you do this to me.

Daveed 330am :

Please…

You swallowed hard at the knot in your throat, Daveed’s texts were so different from the way he acted when he showed up, you felt horrible, it was your fault as to why he was so angry. You didn’t know what to say, how to answer any of the texts, just lie to everyone who thought you made it through the night? Or tell Rafael that you were okay? How could you trust him anymore?

You sat on your couch, staring blankly at your phone when it buzzed in your hand.

Rafa 815am :

Hey.

Rafa 815am :

You don’t need to answer me… just…

Rafa 816am :

Please give me a chance to explain myself.

You stayed, staring at your phone patiently, waiting for him to text you back. But an hour soon passed with no follow up, annoyed you tossed your phone to the other end of the couch.

Cradling yourself you turned on the TV, you listened as some random made for TV movie played as background noise, but your eyes were focused to the clouded skies.

You were lost in memories of Daveed and you.

The coffee trips at midnight, the leftover Chinese food at 8am, the Christmas shopping, helping each other get through hangovers.

All of it.

The day passed, you watched as the sun began to set through your window. Just as you were about to order pizza your doorbell rang.

You sat still if it was Daveed you knew he’d burst in any second.

But 20 seconds passed before it rang out into your silent house a second time.

Standing from the spot you had spent the last few hours on you made your way to the door. Hesitantly you opened it slowly, as last time Daveed just waltzed inside.

This time though, it was Rafael at your door, awkwardly kicking at the pebbles on your front step. When he heard the creak of the door his head snapped up. “Y/N, please.” You held at the bridge of your nose, “Rafael, if I give you one more chance my mind is going to explode. What do you want?” His shoulders dropped at the sight of your tired and red eyes. “I’m sorry.” he mumbled. “I should have told you…” You shook your head. “No… I was being selfish.” Rafael’s eyes saddened. “The look in your eyes that night… I felt like such an ass.” You let out a light laugh. “That makes two of us.” He cracked a small smile, and you opened the door fully. “Come in.” As he made his way inside, he quickly wrapped his arms around you, you stood in shock for a moment before reciprocating it. The warmth of his hug calmed you down and comforted you.

“Let me make it up to you.” He said letting go of you and moving your hair out of your eyes. “How?” You questioned. “We can go get drunk?” You laughed as you sat back down on your couch. “I don’t know.” Rafael sat next to you. “Please, I really wanna fix this.” You let out a guilty sigh. “There’s nothing to fix, you did nothing wrong. You’re his best friend.” You could tell he so desperately wanted to fight you on this topic but pushed on. “We can still drink though.” He pressed, you nodded as you laughed. “Okay, fine. You’re buying.” Rafael shrugged leaning into your couch. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.” You got off your couch and hid in your bedroom, stripping out of the bad memories of the previous night and into tan t-shirt dress and sheer tights.

As you exited you noticed Rafael on his phone. “Let’s go!” you shouted causing him to jump a big in his seat. The more you thought about it the more excited you got about the night ahead. Drinking to forget and spending time with Rafael, sounds fun.

Rafael quickly tucked his phone away and turned to you, he whistled quietly. “You clean up nice.” You rolled your eyes as you picked up your purse. “Don’t push it.”

The bar wasn’t far from your place, unfortunately it had be a regular place where you and Daveed would go, you’d both stumble home, he’d crash on your couch and you’d wake up to the smell of bacon.

Rafael held the door open; you slid in and began walking to the bar. “Teddy! Whiskey on the rocks!” you shouted over the crowds of people; Rafael touched your shoulder. “Two!” he corrected, you smiled up at him and turned to find a booth.

You sat at the uncomfortable benches, Rafael soon joining you with your drinks in hand. He slid into the other side of the booth and moved your drink towards you. “Cheers.” he said lifting his glass, you met halfway clinking it together before you drank down most of the booze. “Y/N, easy.” He said worrisome. “Nope, not tonight.” You argued polishing off the drink. “I’m gunna get another.” you said hopping out of your seat and back to the bar.

Another drink appeared in your hand and you practically skipped back to your seat. “So.” Rafael started. “Have you talked to him yet.” Your heart stopped for a moment as you sipped at your drink. “No…” You lied. “He’s worried.” You raised an eyebrow. “How do you know?” Rafael stirred at his glass. “After you left…” Your lungs felt tight as you watched him. “God Y/N, it looked his he was going to shatter.” You downed another good part of your drink. “Well, nothing happened.” You mumbled, lying once more. “It didn’t look like it.” You closed your eyes as you finished your second drink as Rafael still had his first in front of him. “Is this why you brought me here? To talk about him?” You asked a little sterner than you would have liked. “N-No, Y/N. I’m sorry.” You sighed; the alcohol burned down your throat slowly. “Its okay, I’m being a bitch.” Before Rafael could shake his head, you held your hand up. “Please Rafael, everyone is treating me like a victim, he’s been with Lauren for years… I should have seen it coming. Hell, I did, I just chose to ignore it.” You said your voice broke mid sentence as you tried to keep calm. “Fuck Y/N, I’m sorry I even brought it up.”

A few drinks later and you could feel your drunkenness, you were giggling with Rafael when a familiar voice came into the bar. You spun around to see Daveed walk in, his arm on the waist of Lauren, you felt time slow down as he turned to see you. You spun back into your seat and stared at Rafael. “You didn't” You muttered lowly, wishing they would just walk by the two of you. “Y/N, please.” He begged reaching across to grab your hand, you pulled it away and wrapped it around you glass, your mind flashed back to last night. “I trusted you.” you murmured. Rafael didn’t have a second to react as he looked up to Daveed and Lauren.

“Hey guys.” He said brightly, he quickly got up to sit next to you, his hand grasped at your clenched fist under the table in attempts to calm you down. You could see the tense muscles in Daveed’s shoulders as he took his seat, his eyes glared towards Rafael. “Hey boo” Lauren said cheerily to you. “Hey.” you said completely monotone. “Who wants drinks?” Rafael offered as he let go of your hand and began to stand. “Double please.” You declared staring deep into your empty glass. “Uh same.” Daveed awkwardly ordered, “Appletini please” Lauren politely requested, Rafael disappeared from the table, leaving you in the worst possibility. “So, Y/N, I have something to ask you.” Lauren said killing the awkward silence. Oh god no. You prayed. “Uh, babe. Maybe we’ll talk about this later.” Daveed suggested, you saw his pleading eyes, he was most likely thinking the same thing, but Lauren shook her head in disagreement. “What, why? This is perfect, being all alone like this.” She smiled towards you; you couldn’t help but nod in agreement. “Okay so, I was wondering… if you wanted to be one of my bridesmaids!” She shouted in glee; your eyes looked at Daveed he was picking at the table avoiding eye contact. “Uh, yes. Yes, I’d love to.” You accepted attempting to cover up any suspicion.

Thankfully, Rafael walked back, attempting to hold onto the four drinks piled into his hands.

After everyone settled in you slowly sipped back your drink as Lauren and Rafael held conversation. “Oh my god, Y/N. Is that a hickey?” You choked on your drink and you heard Daveed drop his empty glass on the table, Rafael’s head snapped to scan over your neck. Instinctively your hand slapped over the red spot covering your neck.

“Um, yeah...” You admitted feeling a rush of heat going up your neck to your cheeks. “I met a guy at a bar last night.” you lied, Daveed quickly scooped the spilled ice cubes into his glass, Lauren broke out into a huge grin. “Well, well, well. What’s his name? Did you guys, you know?” Your mind was swirling, your veins were replaced with liquor as your chose your words. “Derek.” you announced. “His name is Derek. And no, just this.” You mumbled motioning to the bruise. “Well, I wanna meet him.” She said leaning back and sipping at her martini. “Mhm.” You hummed out downing your drink. “I think it was just a one-night mistake.” You said fighting yourself to not glare at Daveed. Lauren pouted “Oh boo.” You nodded.

“I need another.” You slightly slurred. “Y/N, maybe I should walk you home.” offered Rafael, shaking your head you basically crawled over him. “Nah, I’m okay.” You could hear Lauren giggle as the rest of the table stayed silent. You ordered another double and two shots of tequila. “You okay?” Asked Teddy as he poured out the shots, you shrugged yet nodded at the same time. “Just trying to get though the night.” You said taking hold of the shot glass

“Y/N.” You jumped and spun around to see Daveed. “Let Rafael walk you home.” Glaring you turned and down your shots. “Or you could go.” You bitterly offered. “Y/N come on. This is torture for both of us.” You scoffed and chugged back the better half of your drink. “Torture? No this is a fucking nightmare, I’m a bridesmaid.” Daveed furrowed his eyebrows. “I fucking told her not to ask you.” You laughed. “Yeah, bet you don’t even want me there.” You challenged. “Don’t want your mistakes to be there?” You slurred, Daveed grabbed at your glass before you could finish your drink.

“Go home.” you let out a dry laugh. “Weird I feel like I’ve heard those words before.” Daveed sighed. “Stop.” You moved closer to him attempting to grab back the glass. “What do you expect, for me to just forget about what happened last fucking night?” You practically yelled drunkenly. “Y/N, I didn’t know you would be here” He growled squeezing the glass in his fist. “Boo-hoo, things must be so rough for you” You sassed, giving up on taking back the cup from him “Teddy” You shouted. “One more” You ordered. “Ted, don’t.” Daveed interrupted. “You don’t fucking own me.” You growled glaring up at him. “I’m serious stop and go home Y/N” You spun on your heel and clumsily leaned on the bar. “Teddy, please. One more double.” The bartender looked back at the two of you before making your drink.

A hand fell on your shoulder, you angrily sighed. “Daveed, I swear to f-” You spun to see Rafael. “Oh, sorry.” You apologized. “Y/N, lets go home.” You groaned out pushing his hand off your shoulder. “Not you too.” You pouted. “Finish your drink.” he demanded, you turned back to see it waiting for you, you did as you were told and knocked it back. The familiar black out was starting as you stumbled back into Rafael’s arms. “Okay, lets go.” You giggled; Rafael took your hand to lead you back to the booth. “Hey, we’re gunna take off.” Lauren pouted once more. “Oh. Well, Y/N I expect to hear more about this Derek.” she said winking at you, you drunkenly smiled. “Oh, maybe you will.” You said winking obviously back at her whilst pushing Daveed’s shoulder. “G'night Y/N” Daveed grumbled out.

When you finally stumbled out of the bar Rafael wrapped his arm around your waist. He basically carried you home and fished the keys from your purse, once inside he led you to your bedroom. As he laid you down you grasp at his hand. “Don’t leave.” You drunkenly begged. “I won’t, but I need to get you some water.” You nodded and curled up into your bed, a minute passed before you heard the glass being placed on your nightstand and the bed dip as Rafael laid down beside you.

Your eyes were closed but you realized you were crying, you tried hard to hide it, but as your body began to shake Rafael sat up. Y/N are you crying?” he whispered, you nodded, and he pulled you close to his chest. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” You shrugged crying further. “Such a stupid mistake.” You muttered leaning deeper into your pillow. “Who? Derek?” A sob cracked through, breaking your heart as you nodded. “Hey, its okay.” You turned to curl up as Rafael’s arm stayed resting on you. “We’ve all made mistakes; I know I have.” He said wiping the tears on your cheeks. “He was my best friend.” You mumbled out before passing out.

#My writing #Daveed Diggs #daveed x reader #daveed imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #love #rafael casal #rafa #diggs #i know #i know part three #masterlist #writing #drama #imagine #drinking #swearing

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ggirlnextdoorr · 7 years

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Story time. 😏

I have a super personal story/vent thing I really need to share- really need to make it public so I'm not just holding it in and only telling people close to me especially bc I'm at the age now to where nothing can be done to what's happened and what I'm talking about and only venting to my closest friends and boyfriend just isn't enough bc I feel like I'm not heard and that how I'm feeling about all of this is just sad bullshit that I got through bc that's how others treat it but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt me still.

k here I go

At the end of March, 2015, I met this boy. I immediately thought it was "love at first site" and he was a bad boy. He was highly experienced with drugs and girls, he was popular in high school, he was in trouble with the law, he smoked meth. I don't know why I was attracted to him, and idk how I let him manipulate me into "loving" him, but at the time he was my world. My life revolved around him. And when I brought him home, my mom had a friend over that he met at this guys house named Troy. Her friend was named Danny. He was smoking with my mom. Smoking something I was familiar with because of the time I spent with Adam. And int he middle of the night after I passed out, I woke up to Adam, Danny, and my mother all smoking crack. And I was heartbroken in that moment but hid how I felt bc I wanted to be with Adam. After that night it started to be a daily thing. And about a month later, Danng was out of the picture, Adam lived with me and brought a bunch of his people in the picture. Everything seemed good- aside from seeing my mother clean for 8 hours straight, use the 3ft bong to take shard dabs with my boyfriend, and I had a cool room and friends. Eventually things started going downhill when my mom started beating me during disagreements. And as time passed, we had to move or wed be evicted, our luck that section 8 pulled through right in time tho. We got a nice big 2 bed apartment and I finally had my own room. And within the time it took to get my room together, I was being cheated on, and had to deal with my methhead mother. I attended at the high school near where I lived and I gained 3 kitties. During the time I went to school, there was one day that I decided to come home during my off and get my charger and a few other belongings, and I texted that to my mom before I showed up and all I got was threats if I ditched school. She didn't understand or comprehend that leaving school during an off period isn't ditching. So I get home and I go in my room gather up my shit and she barges in, yelling at me, getting up in my face with her pupils the size of the moon, grabbing me, pinching me, and cussing me out. A couple mins go by I get her to stop and I go to leave and she pushes me down right when I open my door, kicks me, grabs my window fan out of my window, throw it at me, spits on me, while still cussing at me and calling me names, saying I'm worthless, wish I wasn't born, saying I'm nothing but scum, a failure child, and most of all, a whore. I never got why she called me a whore, I was in a relationship. A very long relationship I was loyal to. And after spitting on me, she slammed my foot in the door and breaking the Christmas lights I hung up and bought myself in the process. That was the day that I realized I had lost my mother to what they call Crystal Methamphetimines. She told me that if I leave my stuff will be outside and the door would be locked when I got back. So I stayed home and didn't go back to school. About a month or two later, its Thanksgiving month. My mom brought it two homeless men that seemed okay. I was wrong. One stole my moms pills and shot up heroin. The other smoked meth and popped pills. I had to deal with constant fighting, constant drug deals, and constant "where's my" fill in the blank.

whhen I got tired of dealing with all of it, I told my mom that either I leave or they do. I was surprised when she made them leave. But it wasn't long til she brought someone worse. His name was neiko, he was a pyscho crazy and dangerous person with a 16 and pregnant girl he called his wife. I'm not going in deep in this one- lets just say the fights were 20 times worse, super violent, and devil like. That was when I stopped feeling safe in my own home and ran away for a day. Took me 2 months to have the guts to leave. When I came home my mom realized they needed to go. And so they left, Neiko didn't stop coming around every now and then after 4 months though. Finally its just me, my mom, and the friends I had made that came over a couple days a week. Things were steady, going good, I actually believed my mom was clean until I searched her room when she went to a doctors appointment- and suddenly she brought home three people. EVEN MORE DANGEROUS, AND VIOLENT, AND SCARY than Neiko and his lady. The best part of them being there though was I was blessed with a puppy that helped me through a lot of it and kept me going. But each day went by and it just got worse, October 2016, we got evicted for "drug trafficking and drug use" and we lost section 8 for having people stay with us. That was when I had lost all hope and expected nothing but the worst. I had 4 cats, a puppy, and a bunch of belongings but no where to go. We were able to put things in storage, and I was able to stay with friends on and off and my mom was in tents and abandoned vans. In February 2017, my mom had finally cleaned up her act a bit, she got a place and I moved back in April 2017. Things were great. My mom was actually clean and my mother again. But just a month later things were back to its old ways but my mom was safer about what happened, no more people staying, no more troubles, no more drug trafficking just her doing drugs.everything was swell until we had to leave because of my dog, Stella. It took a month to find a new apartment and we moved in and things were wonderful. Occasional arguments because its a mother and daughter thing sometkmes. But now its worse. My mom tells me things I could have never imagined a mother being able to tell a daughter. She told me she doesn't love me anymore, that she hates me. And so much more worse things that before that I'm not even stating it. What really ticked me was tonight, my mother arguing with me over nothing, and causing problems from 11pm go 330am know that I work at 1130am. I kept quiet most of the time but when I stuck up for myself I was "disrespecting" her and she said I don't have a right to talk to her like that and that I don't have a right or authority to matter or speak. I don't have a right to tell her she interrupted me when I was talking. According to her I'm lower than her bc she is the parent. I feel so terrible because I didn't do anything wrong but stick up for myself. I was taught in school that every human has the same rights. But in her presence I don't even have the freedom of speech.

anyways where I was going with this was that my mom tells me to this day we were evicted because of me, that for what she's done with cleaning up her act before had made up for her wrongs and has made her deserve respect. I seem to lack respecting a woman that put me through hell on purpose. A woman that beat me til I wasn't able to take it anymore, a woman that put me in life threatening situations and a woman who put me on the streets and on my own to fend for myself at age 16. I get that I have responsibilities, I get that I was old enough to do some things on my own but what I had to go through wasn't something I should've gone through. The most upsetting part is that I can't even fix my connection with her bc she refuses to be a good parent, she refuses to care about me and refuses to remember what she put me through, as if I mean nothing. And to this day all I can think about is the day that I brought Adam around and Danny came into the picture and the fact that for 2 years I could've done something and got myself out of that situation, but what I went through has made me who I am today and hopefully by the time I'm an adult on my own I will be better. I just wish this didn't all hurt so much because I put the blame of everything on myself.

#story time #personal venting #heartbreak #broken #meth #family struggle #guilt #blame #shame #depression

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lovemesomesurveys · 7 years

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What did you do this afternoon? It’s 3AM.

When was the last time you smiled? Yesterday.

Can you use chopsticks? Nope. I’m not coordinated enough or something.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight? Myself, which is no different than any other night.

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? No.

Do you remember what you were like a year ago? The same in some ways, but a lot has changed since then, too.

Where did your last hug take place? My house.

When is the last time you took a nap? Yesterday.

What are you doing tomorrow? Same ol’, same ol’.

Who’s pool did you last swim in? A friend’s boyfriend’s pool a few summers ago.

What are you excited for? My much needed vacation.

Who do you like? Alexander Skarsgård.

What makes you laugh? Puns, corny/cheesy stuff, stupid stuff... I don’t know. Funny stuff.

How has the week been? Monday was nice because I got to see my aunt and cousin who had just came home from their trip to New York, so I got to hear about that and visit with them. The rest of the week wasn’t anything special. Just a typical week.

Your thoughts of long distance relationship? I don’t know.

What is/are your favorite colors? Yellow, teal, mint green, and pastels.

Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? Yepppp. It is hard for me to do that. If I actually manage to muster up the courage to tell someone, it took a lot to do that. Does your last ex deserve to die? Wow, no.

Who do you tell the most to? You guys.

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Something like that.

What do you carry with you at all times? If I’m out and about, then I have my purse with my phone, wallet, and other stuff.

When was the last time you saw your grandpa? Back in 2010 the day he passed away. :(

How many pairs of shoes do you own? A few.

What’s on your mind right now? A lot of things.

How have you felt today? It’s 3:15AM. I feel ready for bed.

Anything you’d like to say to anyone? Kind of.

Do you bite your nails? I pick at them, yes. A habit I’ve had since was a kid. My attempts at kicking the habit didn’t last long.

Are you hungry? A little bit.

Last person you texted? My mom.

Who’s password do you have? I know some of my mom’s and dad’s.

What were you doing at 11:00 AM? I’ll likely still be asleep.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to 24/7? Nope.

What are you listening to? An ASMR video.

How is your hair? In serious need of a dye job.

How is your heart lately? Blah.

What are you eating or drinking at the moment? I was drinking coffee.

Who was the last person you said, “I love you,” to? My mom.

What color is your phone? Rose gold.

What do you spend most of your money on? Food.

Who was the last person to call you? My dad.

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Sometimes.

How long does it take for you to take a shower? Not very long anymore. I used to take like 45 minutes because hot showers were relaxing to me. Once I was in, I didn’t want to get out. Now I just do what I have to do and get out.

When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? Actually, I do.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yes.

Do you have any obsessions right now? Coffee, always.

Where were you last night? Here at home.

Do you have plans today? Nope.

Do you like who you are, as a person? What do you think?

Is there one thing that is on your mind constantly? Yes. There’s a lot of things that are constantly on my mind.

Have you talked to a complete meany today? No.

Are you wearing socks? Yes.

Do you regret something you did yesterday? So, yesterday around 2:30AM I saw a saw spider descend from its web inches from my head while I was sitting on my bed. It went onto my bedside lamp. I scurried off so damn fast and went to go find the bug spray. Well, I couldn’t find it and when I came back IT WAS GONE. I don’t know how the hell it disappeared so fast, but I was looking everywhere. I never saw it again that whole night. Yes, I stayed up all night. I could not go to sleep until I found it. I couldn’t ignore it. Like guys, my fear of spiders is the real deal. I was crying. It was horrible. Staying up all night made me feel like absolute crap. I already was feeling well, and I was achy. Add being overly tired to that. I was a whiny baby in serious need of a nap. I ended up crashing at 8 and slept until 2ish. I don’t know why I didn’t sleep more, honestly.

And yet, here I am again up at 330AM.

Do you have anything in your pockets right now? These pajama pants don’t have any pockets.

In the past week have you gotten sick? I’m always not feeling well in some way on some level or another. I haven’t had a cold or anything viral for a couple years now, though.

In the past week have you gotten your hair cut? Nope.

Did you give anyone a dirty look today? No.

Has someone disappointed you recently? Myself.

Are you comfortable answering personal questions? It depends.

Who’s in your profile picture with you? Just me.

Do you have to wear glasses? Yes.

Do you like Redbull? I do. I haven’t had one in over a year, though.

Do you drink regular or diet sodas? I drink regular, but sometimes I’ll have a Diet Coke.

Would you rather date a person with a British accent or an Irish accent? Whichever. It would depend on the person, not the accent.

Ever broken a bone? Yes.

Have you ever had fake nails? Once. I got them done for my 8th grade graduation. So, it was quite awhile ago.

How many times have you been sent to the principal’s office this year? I’m no longer in school. I was never sent to the principal’s office, though.

Last time you had pizza? Last week.

When is the last time you wore a dress? For a friend’s wedding in April last year.

Do you blow dry your hair? Nope.

Last restaurant you went to? Buffalo Wild Wings.

Do you believe in karma? No.

How many days until your next birthday? Two months.

Where is the person you have feelings for right now? He might be in New York. He attended the Met Gala, but that was days ago.

What’s irritating you right now? My dry lips.

What radio station(s) do you listen to? I don’t really anymore. It’s been awhile. I listen to Spotify for music. My mom plays her Spotify playlists in the car.

Do you like Chinese food? I like chow mien, pot stickers, and egg rolls.

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Yes. A few someones.

How many kids do you want to have? I don’t know if I want any.

What are you wearing right now? Pajamas.

Have you had the chicken pox? Yes. I was seven.

Last person to lay in your bed? I think my mom.

What’s your favorite number? Eight.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Just another day.

What have you eaten today? So far, nothing.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? My mom.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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ethereal-lix · 5 years

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#i can never do anything right can i ???#like mom you already make it obvious that G is the fave #my dad hates me #i never see that side of the family #i have no friends. i only have 2 and one of them is getting married and has her group of friends she hangs out with all the time #and my other one is a compulsive liar who gets upset of over every little thing negative about bts and only wants to talk about bts and then #gets upset when she talks about a potential s/o and i dont have anyone to talk about like dude youre being bery toxic but im too scared to #say anything to her and like god sometimes i wish we werent friends cause its soooo bad but im to scared to stop talking to her #so like i literally have no one to hang out with or to love me or anything and its liek damn why am i here ???#and its 330am i should be asleep but i cant sleep and the negative thoughts just wont stop rn and i want them to but they wont #and idk what to fucking do and honestly i hate my job and that makes me hate life even more and like fuck #but i guess imma try and sleep. not like it matters cause no one is going to see this or care if they do.#anywho good night.#hopefully by the time i wake up i can rebuilt my walls and feel nothing again bc thats easier and less painful than actually feeling

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yesthatgingerblogger · 6 years

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Nights Out/Questionable Choices.

Hell yes, My first ever blog topic is going to be about nights out (who would of guessed).

Quick side note before we get into it, Go easy on me, I am sure my writing will improve over time and if it does not then I do appreciate you sticking in there to read how pointless my opinions actually are

Some fucking questionable decisions can be made before,after or during a night out , I know I have made more than a few in my lifetime(soz if your thinking thats personally related to you,iIt probably is) but when it comes down to nights out, those are some of the best and worst decisions we can make.

Wether its the day after and your waking up next to someone you know feeling on cloud 9 or next to someone who can only be described as sloth(GOONIES REFERENCE YOOOO) and you feel like questioning how much you actually drank to get that fucking blind, We are never to far a way from a questionable decision Thanks to a night out

There are definately good sides to this too though, Some of the best nights I have had have come from impulsive decisions.Wether that be going out on your own,Making some new freinds or Going out with 1 freind and ending up on a completely random stag do in another town (thanks for telling me that story).

I will give you a personal example,(STORY TIME WITH ALI) The other night, It was a week night , no work the next day. I went for a casual drink with a few very close freinds, Needless to say the night was full of laughs , banter and of course nicotene. It got to 330am and we left, Not wanting to go home,We sang through the streets and headed for something fun to do……..(MORRISONS CAR PARK OF ALL PLACES) I took it upon myself to climb in trolleys,Get stuck, Allow myself to be pushed around in a trolley ….we got bored of that ,at the end ,we ended up in the park singing and listening to music.

These are all things that sober, Im pretty sure I would do but id be more concerened, It is a great fucking example though of the randomness that happens on some nights out.

I think thats the thing, Wether we love the night out or hate the morning after, There is always something to talk about and a memory to be had.

Good freinds,Good vibes ,Its all love.

Wow at this point I am thinking, is this a Serious`ish blog?

Nah fuck off.

Till next week BITCHES

That Ginger Blogger

#blog #nightlife #ginger

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xxxtentionsworld-blog · 7 years

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Its 330am

When you dont want to give up on that person but that person has already gave up on you . Im so done with this shit , im shouldn't have come to this trip i come to this trip hoping to give our relationship a last chance but this is my last chance to see whats real . Im so done and if i dont wake up in the morning im fine with that .

Good night cruel world ..

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travelinghermit · 7 years

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Trek to Choquequirao

Its Saturday morning June 24, 2017. I am sitting in my favorite cafe once again JC’s cafe on my second cappuccino which is probably a bad idea as im still recovering from a cold thats been plaguing me for the past week. I returned to Cusco Thursday night after a long, challenging, yet ultimatley very rewarding trek into the Apurimac mountains to reach the hidden stone city of Choquequirao. Forgive me for not updating sooner but after what was definitely the most challenging trek I have ever done under the influence of a slight cold, once I returned to the city the sickness finally sunk its fangs into me hard and ive been bed ridden ever since. Yet this morning I feel 98% better and enjoying the beautiful Cusco weather once again.

I left Cusco early Tuesday morning around 630am. I locked my small bags at the hotel, leaving only with my large napsack. I had packed everything the night before preparing ham and avocado sandwiches out of an entire loaf, a big bag of cashew and almonds, cookies, slimjims, chocolate, canned tuna, and two 2 litre waters, plus all my gear that was necessary. Looking back now I packed everything to perfection all my food lasted the entire 3 day duration and all my clothing was required for both the chilly mountain mornings and the hot afternoons.

I picked up my moto shortly before 630am at the garage which I had arranged for an early pickup with the lot guy the day before and then I was off on my way 170k East towards the small mountain town of Cochara being the launching point on the Choquequirao trek.

To book a guided tour in Cusco for the trek would have costed me 815 Soles or $250 American. Thats a bit absurd I thought as I began the initial planning for this trip. I knew I could do it on my own ever since the Salkantay trek to Machu Picchu which while on the trail thought there was absolutely no use for a guide except for info on the site itself. I wanted a challenge, I wanted to be out there on my own with nothing but what I had packed on my back to supply myself for 3, 4, maybe 5 days. It didnt matter. Looking toward Machu Picchu I tried so hard envisioning what it was that Hiram Bingham saw that day he discovered that one of a kind site. Trekking weeks in the jungles of Peru to finally discover what was to make him famous. I have said before since Colombia I felt like I was Indiana Jones and a 3 day trek to the top of a mountain where a 500 year old stone city lay was right up my alley. So to hell with spending $250 dollars on a guide. I spent $25 on my food and another $25 on my entrance fee to Choquequirao itself and that was it!! I pocketed my savings and acquired a hell of a lot of pride.

I reached the village of Cochara around 1030am/11. I was lucky to park my bike behind some car at the little tienda market right at the entrance to the trek. I tore off all my warm clothes that served me on the ride over and got on my shorts and tshirt, swung my backpack on my back and was on my way. Instantly the views were breathtaking. Snowcapped mountains to the far right of me and a wide open gorge with a white rapid river flowing inbetween two huge mountains to the left. Little did I know at the time that was exactly where I was heading. The trail itself was easy peasy as there really was only one trail to tread but just as I feared it wasnt the trail I was afraid of it was the terrain and Oh! How treacherous it was! Especially with my pack carrying 2 litres of water. The first half of the trail on the first day was nothing just trekking straight down the mountain. It was hard not to think through that entire time though that I would have to return at some point back up. At around 3pm I reached the bottom of the gorge where a large green bridge lay connecting the two mountains from the river. This was the point where the challenge begun as instantly after crossing this pretty cool bridge the trail headed directly up the second mountain.

I think I broke up my time across the 3 possible campsites perfectly over the course of 3 days. The guided tour does the trek in 4 days while I completed it in 3. Im pretty proud of that yet looking back on that last day which was honestly hell on my legs and body I can only shudder. Yet im here again at my favorite cafe sipping a coffee which was exactly what kept me going so im very happy about that. Yet my legs are still in bits.

I ended the first day at camp Playa Rosalina about ¼ of the way up the second mountain. I set up my tent overlooking the Apurimac mountains and was so exhausted I was asleep by 530pm. I woke up maybe twice very shortly but for the most part I was out of it until 630am the next morning. Day 2 I had my tent and pack all packed up by 730am and was on my way right back scaling the incredibly large mountain straight up again. Three hours of this hell, my pack wearing me down, sliding on the scattered debris of rock along the way. This wasnt fun. At 1030 I reached camp 3 where I thought the hell was over but it had truely just begun. From here the trail lead straight to Choquequirao. I paid the guards my entrance fee and as I was beginning my way towards the site I looked up the mountain and I could barely make out what looked like stone structures on the very top. I sat down on a rock, my clothes covered in sweat, and I seriously said to myself I dont know if I can make it up there. I used all my energy just to get to this point thinking this was where the site was but I had atleast another hour and change to go. Aah this was rhe point I wanted. Not quite a breaking point but the point where you honestly dont know what the outcome will be. The serious that that I might not make it to the ruins ran through my mind. Through this entire journey my ethos is that whatever I am truely seeking, to get to the heart of it, ill only reach it through activity. I truelly believe that through pushing myself to the brink ill find some kind of spiritual truth. I dont know where I got that from or if thats true in anyway but I did push through despite my quivering legs and finally did reach Choquequirao, and what a sight it was to make the journey truelly worth the struggle.

Not as impressive as Machu Picchu but just as awe inspiring. There it was a stone complex impossibly built ontop of this lone mountain and best yet there might have been five other people up there with me for the entire four hours or so I was there. An epic 2 day journey, sleeping in my tent, up hard terrain to reach a forgotten stone city. Yup this is what I do ALL of this for. I just sat up there, eating my sandwiches, roaming the complex, gazing in awe for hours and never did it bore me. Peru is now my favorite country I have ever visited. Hands down. The fact that there is this kind of ruins to visit on top of mountains just isnt real. It cant be. It goes against all reality. Why is a stone city up ontop of a mountain? Why? And how? And I can just visit it all by myself if I so chose to brave the hard terrain? Peru challenges the imagination more than any other country in this world. More than Egypt, more than India, Japan, what have you, Peru is more real than any imagination, thats what makes it the best.

After spending the day in Choquequirao I walked back down to Camp 3 where I set up my tent by a jaw dropping view of the mountains just as the sun was about to set. That night I slept good knowing the next day would be hell. And thats what it was. I was all packed up by 730am and was on my way back down the mountain. Then for the next six hours I put my legs and back through a nightmare. I reached camp 1 at the bottom of the second mountain and about 1/5 up the first by 1030am which far exceeded all expectations so I had no choice but to keep going. It took me till 2pm to get all the way back up that first mountain which the trail just zigzagged straight up. My legs were quivering all the way through but I perceviered. Again I have never done a more challenging trek in my life but the reward of doing it completely solo truelly makes me proud. Ohoh and how cool was it when I strolled back to the initial start of the trek where all the other people were waiting for the bus and I just came through, grabbed my bike, packed up, ate my final can of tuna and then rode on out of there within minutes. Haha! I will never be that cool ever again in my life.

That was my trek and then I raced all 170k back to Cusco that same day and made it to the hotel right as it got dark. I rocked it perfectly I have to say but thats also when my cough and sinuses got real bad. That night I was up til 330am. I took my antibiotics and for all day yesterday I lay in my bed resting. I feel so much better now. I plan on staying the week in Cusco to get back to 100% and get myself truelly ready for the second phase of the journey as I head for Bolivia. Expect spontaneous posts until then because im just gonna be chilling.

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