#GOD this takes me back to being 14 and google imaging the hell out of BB

[gaysindistress]

Sad girl - fifteen

summary: James has an interesting new business proposal and one hell of a condition to deal with.

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

warnings: cursing, Bucky’s smartass, the feelings, Walker has decided that he wants to be Joe Goldberg, blood

word count: 2.5k

a/n: I’m evil and I’m not at all sorry. 

part 14 | series masterlist

Taglist: @missvelvetsstuff @angelsincident @spencerreidisagorgman @goldensunflowe-r   @i-have-no-life-charlie @esposadomd @iateall-yourcookies  @alana4610 @kandis-mom @beware-my-thorns @ozwriterchick @littlelizardlizzie @unaxv @reader-without-a-story @wh0reforbucknasty @cjand10​  @katymae12344  @vickie5446

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

Ping. 

Ping. 

Ping. 

The sound of her phone going off three times in a row is enough to make her want to throw it across the room. Having gotten back late from the party and being exhausted due to prior activities, the sound of her phone is the last thing she wanted to hear. The man next to her is fast asleep, not even budging when she shifts her weight to grab the iridescent rectangle on the side table. The overwhelming brightness of it doesn’t allow her to see the sender until she’s already unlocked it and looking at the horrifying pictures. 

The first photo contained her mother shopping in a grocery store, the boundaries of the photo blurred as if taken from behind something. The second photo is her mother getting into a black Range Rover from the same angle but the third is the most terrifying; her mother lying asleep in a bed. As she stared at the photos, another message came through, one that read: 

“You’re both mine.”

“Bucky, Bucky,” she says quietly as she reaches behind her to shake him awake. 

“Bucky, wake up, wake up,” her voice is starting to tremble as she shakes him even more, growing desperate. 

Groaning as he pushes onto his forearms, “what is it?” “It’s my mom, he’s going to hurt her. Oh my god, we have to get her out.”

The sound of her cries and pleading raises him fully from his sleep. He takes the phone from her hand to look at the messages himself while hauling her into him as she sobs. These types of photos are ones that he sees often himself but is usually in the context of his next mission. Seeing them on the phone of the woman he promised to protect and care for stung differently and he began to feel the hot bubble of anger grow in him. 

“Doll, I’ll see what I can do to protect her.”

“You have to get her out,” she pleads to him as she pushes against him. 

“Doll,” his fingers brush the hair from her forehead, “I’ll see what Steve can do but I can’t promise anything. We already know John is a loose cannon and I don’t want to push him too far. He’ll come after you again and I can’t have that.”

“Again? Because you’ve done so much to keep me safe since then. You haven’t done anything. You’ve even fucking left me alone while you galavant around like a toy with your puppet masters, the senators. If you really wanted to protect me then you would’ve killed him that day!”

“Hey, hey, these things take time,” his hand slides to grasp the back of her neck, “I’m doing everything I can to make sure he can’t get to you, and going after your mom will only push him closer to you.”

She swats at him, creating a gap between the two of them. Betrayal is written all across her face as she stares at him. 

“So you’re willing to let her get hurt? You’re willing to let my mother stay with a man who already threatened to kill me for what? Because you’re too much of a coward to do anything about it?” 

“That’s not what I said and you know that. My job is protect you and only you. Your mother isn’t included in that but I will do what I can within my means,” his anger has taken over his form, turning the concern he had moments again into a hardened and cold stare. 

She didn’t respond, only scoffing at him before turning over on the bed so she didn’t have to face him or his unwillingness to help. The bed shifts as he gets up and leaves the room, her quiet sobs and sniffles are the only evidence that she’s listening to him walk away. 

_______________________________________________

Voices filter into the cold room as she stirs awake. 

“Do we know how he got to Marianne?” Bucky’s voice asks. 

“From what I can tell, he found her after she showed up at Anthony’s,” Steve’s voice answers back. 

“Any indication that she’s there against her will?”

She can’t hear an answer but she can only assume that Steve is shaking his head no. 

“Goddamnit,” she can imagine Bucky rubbing his hand down his face in frustration, “We can’t go in. It’s not safe for her if we do it and her safety is my main concern here.”

“She’s not going to like that answer. You’re going to have to figure out a way to get to Marianne.”

“Let me just call her real quick,” the sarcasm drips from his voice as he tries to not take his anger out on his friend. 

“Don’t shoot the messenger. I can only tell you the circumstances but you’re more than welcome to go in if that’s what you think is best.”

Bucky goes to make a smart-ass comment back but the sound of the bedroom door opening pauses them both and they wait with bated breath to see if she will emerge. She does clad in her trusty college sweatshirt and running shorts, however, she ignores Bucky when she joins the men in the living room, sitting on the couch next to Steve. He offers her a good morning as she buries herself in the corner and sends a muffled ‘morning’ back. 

“How’d you sleep?” Bucky asks, hoping that the simple question will be seen as a peace offering. 

“Fantastic. I wasn’t at all worried about my mother’s safety considering she’s with an absolutely psychopath. And when I finally did fall asleep, I was woken up two assholes who started talking really loud.”

The men grimace at her response and give her half-hearted apologies for waking her up. The couch moves as Steve stands up, bidding them both a ‘see you guys in New York’ as he disappears into his own room. Bucky moves from his chair to take Steve’s place next to her. 

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know that your hands are tied but that doesn’t mean I’m not mad anymore.”

A gentle hand rests on her hip, “I know. I’ll see what Sam can find out. I might be able to get you a way to talk to her but that’s not a guarantee.”

“At this point, I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“I want that too. The good news is that Steve made it seem like she’s not being hurt.”

She moves from the corner to lay on his shoulder, arms going around his middle in a side hug, “She’s just being stalked by a wannabe Joe Goldberg.”

“That is very true,” he laughs slightly, his own arms hugging her closer. 

A few minutes of silence pass before she speaks again, “I’m sorry for what I said last night. The whole situation is shitty but it’s not your fault and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. ”

“Doll, everything you said was justified. Marianne is not exactly safe and I don’t have a way of getting to her without putting you in jeopardy. You don’t have to apologize either. If anyone is going to, it’s me. I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to do and it’s terrifying to not know how this is all going to play out.”

He feels her nod against his side and grips him tighter. 

“Do you think it’s safe for me to have my own room anymore?”

“Are you asking if we should share a room?” his heart begins to hammer against his chest as he awaits her response. 

“I mean if John has access to Stark Towers and my mom, it wouldn’t be a stretch to suggest that he could get to me at our house. Wouldn’t it be safer if we shared a bedroom so that I’m not alone if he does try something?”

“He won’t be able to get that close but if it would make you feel safer, we can move you into my room.”

“Yeah I think that would make we feel better,” her own heart wanting to pound right out of her chest. 

“We can do that then,” he kisses the top of her head as they settle back into silence and into each other. 

_______________________________________________

“How many books do you have?” Steve is panting from carrying the millionth box of books from her room to Bucky’s. 

“You have a damn library here,” Sam is the next one to come into the room with another book box. 

“I like to read, so what?” She says, shrugging her shoulders and going back to putting the books on the shelf Bucky had installed. 

The moment they had landed back in New York, he’d invited everyone over under the guise of dinner but it was really to help move her into his room. Of course, there would be food afterward but that didn’t stop the men from complaining about the task at hand. He’d also been quick to have shelves installed for her books rather than putting them in his office. 

“It’ll make it feel more like our room,” was his reasoning. 

It did make the room feel more shared and comfortable than her previous room. She really hadn’t brought that much from her father’s house. A few pictures, her library as Sam put it, and mostly her clothes which were now taking over his massive walk-in closet. That was a feat in itself considering the number of suits, shoes, and gear he had. Regardless he welcomed all of the changes, content that she had decided that she wanted to share a room and start an actual relationship. 

“Yeah, but who reads this many books?” Sam had her favorite book, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, in his hand as he questioned her. 

“Someone smart and well-read,” Bucky answers for her, taking the book back and kissing Doll. 

Steve and Sam both roll their eyes as they head back to her room to make sure it’s clear. 

“Finally admitting I’m smarter than you?” 

“There was never doubt about that,” he says as he hands her more books to put away. 

She hums in agreement and takes the books from him. 

“Hey Buck, Vance just sent a file,,” Steve calls from the door as he and Sam head to the office. 

Bucky gives her an apologetic look as he kisses her forehead, “I promise to help after.”

“No, you won’t.” 

He laughs as he’s heading out the door, “it’s the thought that counts.” 

_______________________________________________

Being left alone allowed her to put on her own music and continue to put away her belongings. The obvious choice is Lana Del Rey so that’s what is playing in the room a few hours after the boys had left. When Bucky finished his meeting, he finds her sitting on the bed reading a book and hunched over in a position that’ll definitely lead her to have a sore back. 

“What book did you pick?” the sudden sound of his voice startles her as he leans against the door frame. 

“Oh um,” she turns the book over to look at the cover, “Our Violent Ends by Chloe Gong. It’s the sequel to the book I was reading when I moved in.”

“Hmm I see, what’s it about?”

“It’s a retelling of Romeo and Juliet but in the 1920s Shanghai and the families are rival gangs.”

“Really?” he laughs as he approaches the bed. 

“Don’t laugh. It’s a good book!” 

He drops onto the bed next to her, “I’m not laughing at the book, I’m laughing at how ironic it is that you’re reading about mobs.”

Leaning over the side, she puts her book on the nightstand as she says, “I know, I know. Don’t I get enough in real life? But this is different; it’s a love story.”

“And this isn't?” He waves a hand around to gesture at their situation. 

“That would require us to be in love,” teasing him, she comes shoulder to shoulder with him. 

“Who says we’re not?”

“Who says we are? Neither of us have said those three words.”

“Just because we haven’t said it doesn’t mean it’s not true,” his hand takes a hold of her thigh, drawing her focus to that sight. 

“What are you trying to say?” She places her hand on top of his and looks over at him. 

He flips his hand over to hold hers, “What do you want me to say?”

She looks at him blankly, trying to find the words or anything at all to answer his question. Deep down she knows what she wants him to say but she can’t tell him that. Their struggle for control and power stalls her heart and refuses to let her give in first. Saying it first would be submission and she can’t do that. With their marriage being arranged, everything that comes with it feels stiff and arranged as well. They had no choice but to go into this and now they struggle to regain any morsel of control over their life. However no matter how controlled their marriage may be, this moment has to come naturally. There cannot be a power struggle, a fight to stay on top; this moment has to come when they’re equals. 

He takes a deep breath and changes the subject, “I hate to ruin the moment but I have a new mission that starts tomorrow. It’s supposed to be pretty simple, quick in and out so the boys and I should be back in a couple of days.”

“Oh,” is the only thing that comes to her mind as she rubs her thumb over the back of his hand. 

“I know we just got back yesterday but I promise I’ll make up to you.”

“Dinner,” the confused look on his face causes her to giggle and her mood to lighten, “You owe me dinner.”

“I can do that. Dinner at the finest restaurant, just you and me, I promise,” he kisses her cheek as he lets go of her hand and heads to the closet to start packing.

______________________________________________

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” the string of curses leaves Sam’s mouth as he races over to Steve who is kneeling beside Bucky’s stilling body. 

“Fuck! Where the fuck is the first aid kit?” Sam is moving as fast as he can as he dumps his backpack on the ground and throws the contents aside to find the kit in question. 

The blood from Bucky’s left side is pooling around them, streaming from his ripped shirt as Steve puts as much pressure as he can on the wound. The world is spinning and closing in on Bucky from the loss of blood and pain, his skin paling and chest moving in shallow motions. 

“Sam hurry the fuck up!” the shouts from Steve are distorted as Sam finally finds the first aid kit and rips it open. The clatter of various medical tools and supplies is softened by the grass and the wet blood. 

“Buck, hey Bucky, how are you feeling?” Sam is tapping the side of his face to regain his attention but it’s lost on the man. Through his lashes, he can see his two friends but can barely hear them or feel the pressure and pain radiating from his left side. 

“No no no no fuck! Bucky come on man! Come on stay with us! Shit,” are the last words he hears before it all goes black. 

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #mob au #mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes imagine #mob!bucky barnes x reader #sad girl - bucky barnes #mob!bucky barnes and reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you

[sleepingpatterns]

“Should I use InDesign to lay out my books?” - A Passionate Guide

Ok, if you are like me, you recently stumbled upon @armoredsuperheavy​‘s brilliant blog about bookbinding and fanfiction, and now you are excited to throw yourself head-first into bookbinding.

This also means that you are about to invest a fair amount of time into figuring out how exactly to lay out books. What you end up getting comfortable with will most likely be what you end up using long term, so it is worthwhile giving it some thought. The question really comes down to this: who's name will you be cursing for the foreseeable future? Adobe? Or Microsoft?

Full disclosure: I only started using InDesign because I was forced to. I worked as an editor at a newspaper, and that was what we used. The beginning was hell. I won’t sugar coat it, it sucks. In the end it was worth it. Once you figure it out, InDesign’s potential far outstrips Microsoft Word (in my opinion).

That encouragement means very little when you open this treacherous program for the first time and see THIS:

“What?! I will literally give you $100 if you guess what all the buttons on the left are for. How the fuck do I make the margins disappear!?”

So, if using InDesign means figuring out what at least one third of the tools on the left are for, lets talk pros and cons.

Let’s get the cons out of the way.

It is expensive. Adobe is not fucking around. This puppy costs 20 bucks a month (Canadian) to RENT. If this is out of your price range, do you still have options? Yes. Do they range in legality? Also yes. I think I could potentially get in trouble for telling you to find your friendly neighborhood torrenting site and steal this software. I will say, outright, that no one should steal software ever. Got it? I would be very upset if someone were to message me for specifics. As you naturally wish to be law-abiding, there is also the quasi-legal option of repeating the 14-day free trial. My friend works at a professional print studio in Russia, and this is the tactic they use: every 14 days they uninstall all of the software from all of the computers, and reinstall it with a new trial. Every 14 days! At a professional operation! My friend hates working there.

It is not initially intuitive. I’ve covered this, but it bears repeating because it is a serious hurdle. Keep in mind, that with time, InDesign becomes more helpful than other software. Now when I use Word I find myself reaching for keyboard shortcuts automatically, and feeling bereft at the lack of my favorite tools. Nonetheless, expect a time commitment up front learning how to harness this glorious and confusing computer program.

It can run kinda slowly, depending on your computer. Up until two months ago, I had the world’s most precarious laptop. I bought it for $200 in 2015. It once took half an hour to restart. Inexplicably, when it got stressed, it would switch to Spanish. It was literally and figuratively falling apart. And yet, it ran InDesign. Granted, it worked slowly. If I asked it to process too many images at once it would panic (again with the Spanish), but for the most part, it worked. If you have a slow computer and are patient, then InDesign will probably work fine on your computer. If you are not willing to suffer, stick to Word.

You will also need Photoshop (sometimes). Part of what makes InDesign glorious is that it is professional software that is designed specifically to work with print and anything text-heavy. I love that about it. It even manages to do some handy things with images! But, inevitably, you will need to learn some Photoshop to punch up your graphics. I have, admittedly, only learned the bare minimum Photoshop in order to feed my InDesign addiction. It was a pain in the butt. For example, inexplicably, Adobe has not standardized keyboard shortcuts across the suite. As with InDesign, now that I’ve learned the tricks, I adore it. But you should go into this knowing that with Adobe, the fun never ends.

Printing signatures is the WORST. Adobe, please explain to me, in front of God and everyone, why the hell you would make this software specifically for laying out books etc. and not include a method of printing signatures?! I’m livid. This is absolutely where Word wins the day. It is almost worth using Word just to print the signatures so nicely and easily. I’m not kidding. Me—a person who has used InDesign professionally—almost wanted to switch software entirely just because of this. Hands down, InDesign’s biggest goof. Despite this crime against bookbinders everywhere, you have options. You can export your design to a PDF and literally print each signature separately (I am fucking livid) or you can complain enough to your friends that they offer to buy you a lovely program called BookletCreator for your birthday. It costs $20 bucks USD and it was worth every penny. However, Adobe, FOR THE AMOUNT THAT YOU CHARGE FOR YOUR PROGRAM, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PURCHASE ANY ADDITIONAL SOFTWARE IN ORDER TO PRINT MY BOOK. Did I mention that I am livid?!

But InDesign must be worth something, right?! Otherwise why would I be writing a long post encouraging people to use it? Let’s talk pros:

The horsepower on this baby will blow your mind. Forget what I just said about printing signatures; imagine using software that was literally made for this. You wanna do a thing? InDesign has got you. Are you a perfectionist? This software was designed by people as pedantic and obsessive as yourself. It gets you. Dream it, google how to do it, and InDesign will deliver. This is really the main reason to use InDesign; it is the professional standard for a reason.

There are so SO many resources available to help you learn. Almost everything I’ve learned about InDesign I learned from Google or YouTube. Honestly, if you have a question, I promise that other people have already asked and answered it. The advantage is that because this software is specifically for laying out books, there is lots of information available specifically about how to do what you want to do. (This may also be true for Word, but I’ll be honest, I only used Word for a book layout once, so I can’t say for certain either way.)

Once you figure it out, InDesign will give you back hours of your life. Things like master page spreads, clipping paths, tint, the eyedropper tool, and the one-hundred-percent adjustable text are just... lifesavers. My experience with Word is limited, so my frustration using it was probably due to my own ineptitude, but honestly, when putting together my thesis, the tears I cried trying to get page numbers to format correctly were some of the most bitter text-related tears I have ever shed. I can take care of the whole operation in InDesign in a matter of minutes. Hours. Of. My. Life. Saved.

This is an actual marketable skill. Ok, bear with me here. I have used InDesign for every single job I have had since I worked at the newspaper. That includes working as a bookkeeper and a kindergarten teacher. Hell, I even made my resume to get those jobs in InDesign. There is no job that I forsee in my future that doesn’t include some form of text-based design. Even when my work has absolutely nothing to do with layout (see: kindergarten teacher) I still found some way to use it. My previous boss was actually so thrilled about my InDesign skills that she had me run a 101 seminar for the other employees. (Did any of them end up using it? I suspect not. Did they look at me strangely for being so enthusiastic about design software? Absolutely.) I’ve even managed to use InDesign to branch out from freelance editing to take on design projects as well. In short: if you learn how to use InDesign, put in on your resume. You will be surprised at how much mileage you get out of it.

With Adobe, the fun never ends. I know I joked about it before, but really, I love seeing what this program has in store for me next. For example, thanks to bookbinding, I discovered that InDesign will do a lot of things that I had previously assumed were the domain of Word, such as spell check. I literally stumbled onto a measuring tool today that I wish existed irl to help me glue my covers together. Part of the beauty of this software being so intricate is that there is always something new you can do. I love learning how to harness a new feature, and then watch my design improve over time. Using this program you really get the feeling that the sky is the limit. Look, just the fact that I’ve now resorted to saccharine platitudes about computer software tells you that InDesign is remarkable. Considering that this program has made me suffer so significantly, I have either seen the face of God, or I have Stockholm syndrome. Take your pick.

TL;DR, at long last:

How complicated would you like to go? Either way, for bookbinding you’ve got to learn to use software in a new way.

Do you just want to get your book laid out reliably with little fuss? Word is for you! Are you interested in delving into the details? Do you have the patience of a saint? Try InDesign!

Both work. Both are good. But you can pry InDesign from my cold dead hands because I adore it.

#Honestly #No shame towards Word or anyone that uses it seriously #Like I said I have little experience actually using it for laying out books #But InDesign is very good. #Bookbinding #fic #fic binding #If people want I can start putting together tutorials about how to do all of this stuff #And all of y'all can learn from my mistakes and hopefully learn faster than I did. #Аня есть что нибудь здесь про тебя #заметишь? #InDesign

[softbiker]

Steve Rogers Oneshot

Warnings: talk about body image/dysmorphia, past ED’s, veganism (idk if that’s a warning???)

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: This is...very self-indulgent. But oh well. A continuation of the Agent 14 series, in which Steve finds another diet he wants to try and he needs some help getting started. As always, let me know what you think! 

Sam finds him one afternoon, staring into the glow of the open fridge, in full superhero stance with his feet planted wide. Nothing abnormal about super soldiers looking for a snack; those boys can really put it away. But this one looks like he’s conducting an interview with the refrigerator contents - in his hand is a small notepad, a worn down pencil stub poised over it, and Sam can see little scribbles and tally marks covering the page.

“Uh…Steve?”

“Hm?” Steve doesn’t turn around, but Sam can see his deep-set frown in profile, harsh refrigerator light illuminating his lowered brows.

“What’re you doing, man?” Sam takes a couple steps closer and peers around those massive shoulders into the offending appliance. “That your grocery list?”

Steve finally looks up, blinking. Absently, he taps the end of his pencil against his chin.

“No, not a grocery list,” he frowns. “I’m just…taking stock, I guess.”

“We do inventory of the fridge now?” Sam sidesteps him, reaching for the orange juice. He still drinks straight from the carton and Barnes can just kiss his sweet ass.

Steve ignores him, sparing only an eye roll in response.

“Don’t worry about it,” he sighs, in a way only Steve Rogers can sigh about groceries. “Just got an idea, that’s all.”

Sam sips his orange juice as he watches him leave the room, more worried by that phrase than anything else Steve could’ve said.

**********

“I’m sorry - you want us to what?”

Steve crosses his arms and gives Clint his most authoritative frown.

“I’d like us to try a plant-based diet,” he repeats, looking at the faces scattered around the common room. This little “family meeting” didn’t warrant using the conference rooms on the upper floors; he had let everyone get cozy after dinner, helped dig through the couch cushions for the remote, and then made his little announcement.

“That means vegan, right?” Natasha says from her armchair, eyes on her phone in her lap. She’d started googling as soon as he proposed this little challenge.

“Woah, woah - hold up,” Sam raises a hand, sitting forward on the couch. “I know you’re not asking me to quit eating meat, Rogers.”

“And dairy,” Steve confirms.

“Eggs, too,” Wanda adds helpfully.

“No meat?” 41’s fingers curl into her baggy bacon-print PJ pants. Her lower lip wobbles. “No-no ice cream?” She looks to Clint, who immediately folds his hand over hers.

“There are plenty of plant-based alternatives-” Steve starts, his tone soothing.

“Is this because of that documentary you watched?” Bucky grumbles. He’s leaning on the back of the couch, eyes narrowed at his long-time friend. “What was the name…the one about the athletes who don’t eat meat…”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Steve glares back at him. “There’s plenty of evidence to suggest it gives them an edge in athletic performance, so why not-”

“Oh my god, Steve, we’re literally a team of superheroes,” Sam groans. “Earth’s mightiest heroes, and all that jazz. We’re already mighty! We don’t need this! I don’t need this!”

“That so?” Steve raises an eyebrow. One hand digging into his pocket, he produces the little notebook he was scribbling in a couple days before. “I’ve been making some notes-”

“Oh boy, here we go,” Clint mutters.

“In our fridge, the percentage of animal products is a little over 60% - that’s crazy high, guys.” Steve licks his lips, glancing at the skeptical faces around the room as he flips a page in his notebook. “Not only that, but as a whole, our consumption of takeout and highly processed foods has really gone up lately; the team ate a total of 23 meals from fast food restaurants in the last 2 weeks.”

“You’re monitoring our food, Rogers?” Natasha is looking at him now, though he almost wishes she weren’t. Her undivided attention is not for the faint of heart. Steve musters himself and pushes ahead.

“Look - let’s just try it, give it our best shot and then, in a month-”

“A month?” 41 cries, clutching Clint’s hand. “A whole month? But…but what about Bite?”

Oh. He’d forgotten. Sam and 41’s cherished food festival, held every July - a whole park full of food trucks, unlimited samples, live music. One of their photos from last year’s Bite was proudly displayed on the door of the fridge: 41 and Sam each chowing down on a massive bacon cheeseburger - a cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as the buns.

“Well…” he hesitates

“No. Uh-uh. No way.” Sam folds his arms across his chest and sinks back into the couch cushions. “There is no way you’re making us miss the best event of the year for another one of your health kicks.”

“Sam-”

“Besides! You and Tin Man can eat as much pizza as you want and still outrun a car,” Sam huffs.   “No reason to make the rest of us suffer through another one of your diets. Not to mention that I’m not interested in just eating salad and broccoli…that’s depressing.”

Shoulders falling, Steve sighs and drops his notebook in his lap.

“Okay, well. Sam has spoken,” he says, quirking an eyebrow. “Anyone else?”

“Mm, I’m with Sam on this one,” Bucky shrugs, unbothered by Steve’s answering look of betrayal. “Sorry, pal, I guess I just don’t see the point…and besides, we had to go hungry for half our childhood. I’m not gonna live on rations now.”

Steve folds his hands in his lap, staring down at his knuckles with what looks for all the world like a pout. Maybe he should’ve made the team watch the documentary first…that would’ve gotten them excited. Hell, even he was inspired - after all, if a non-enhanced guy could train to carry over a thousand pounds, surely there was some kind of benefit to this lifestyle.

“Alright, how about this,” he pulls his last card, his last idea. “If I can make a meal that will convince you vegan food is actually good, would you agree to try it for a little while?”

Sam and 41 turn towards each other; he raises an eyebrow, she responds with a shrug.

“We can accept these terms,” Sam agrees. “But you’re really gonna have to wow us.”

“Yeah,” 41 nods, settling in next to Clint. “Bring out the big guns.”

From his place behind the couch, Bucky’s shoulders quake with silent laughter.

“You really played yourself on this one, pal,” he chuckles, shaking his head. Reaching across the cushions, he gives 41 a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, squirt. Your ice cream isn’t going anywhere - I’ve known Steve for a long, long time…” He smirks at a now exasperated Steve.

“…and Steve Rogers can’t cook for shit.”

**********

Steve Rogers, in fact, cannot cook for shit. But he’ll be damned if that will stop him from trying.

He’s swiping through recipes and grocery lists on his Stark pad, wondering if baking his own bread would be as easy as it seemed, when the text comes through.

Hey soldier. I heard you were going on a diet. That true?

Steve snorts and chews his lip, thumbs hovering as he thinks over his reply.

Yeah, it’s about time I got in better shape.

Feeling a bit silly, he watches the little dots in the text bubble as she types back a reply, and tries not to feel too pleased with himself at the cluster of laughing emojis she sent.

Well, listen. I’ve been vegan for a while, actually, so if you need any help I’m here!

An eager leap in his heart, and his thumbs fly over the keyboard once more.

Oh, really? In that case…I’m not sure if I can really handle cooking by myself. I have a terrible track record in the kitchen.

Another laughing emoji. They didn’t teach you that in the army?

Shockingly no.

Someone (Wanda? Peter?) may have told him something about double texting, but he can’t help himself as he quickly follows up his text with another.

Anyways, I’m desperate. And the team is desperate for me to not burn down the tower, haha. Can you help a guy out?

Waiting for a reply, his knee bounces under his desk and he clicks the pen in his hand over and over, hardly hearing the annoying little noise as his thumb reflexively twitches on the button. When her response buzzes on his screen, he almost flinches.

Tell you what. Today is my day off, and I needed groceries anyway. Trader Joe’s in an hour?

**********                                                                                                   

“What on earth are those?” Steve stares incredulously at the basket. “And why are they…not orange?”

“They’re called Hawaiian sweet potatoes and they just grow that way,” 14 laughs as she reaches for a display of squash next to the potatoes.

“That’s not a sweet potato - I know what a sweet potato looks like,” Steve says, obstinate brows crowding together. Shaking her head, 14 just turns away from the squash towards the avocados on the opposite side of the produce aisle.

“Oh boy, you’re gonna learn a lot being vegan…” she sighs. She squeezes a couple of avocados, testing ripeness and feeling the size before she chooses two and adds them to one of her produce bags. With a satisfied nod, she settles her hands on her hips. “Okay, next on the list: tahini.”

Looking at the cart, Steve can’t tell what his dinner is going to be.

“Tahini? What are we gonna do with that?” He wonders what it is, too, but doesn’t ask.

“Eat it, Rogers.” Smirking over her shoulder, she grabs the front of the cart and pulls him along towards the condiments aisle. “What on earth would you do without me?”

“Die a carnivore, I guess,” he shrugs.

“Hm. Tragic.”

 **********                                                                                                  

“It’s practically foolproof - all you have to do is cook this, roast the sweet potatoes, and then we’re gonna throw it all in together.”

“Never underestimate my ability to totally ruin a meal.” Steve says, stirring the quinoa. An adorable scrunch wrinkles his nose as he turns to where she’s dicing the avocados. “Ask Bucky. Even army rations taste better than my cooking.”

“You must be very confident in yourself to admit that,” she smiles back. Cheeks warm, he turns back to the pan with a shrug.

Silence stretches between them for a few moments, the quiet of shared work - from the other room, they can hear the TV playing, occasional laughs from Sam and 41 as they catch up on episodes of Brooklyn 99. Outside the windows, the summer sun sinks steadily lower, golden hour glow illuminating the skyline and filtering into the kitchen. She’s barefooted, chipped blue polish on her toes, and her feet pad lightly across the tile floor as she moves her bowl of avocado chunks over to the island. The little sound makes his heart hungry.

“So,” he clears his throat. “How long have you been, uh, plant-based?”

“Hmm. I guess about 6 months or so?” She taps her fingers absently against the marble countertop as she thinks. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Wow. Why did you start?”

“Someone dared me,” she winks at him. “No, but really. A friend challenged me to do it with her for a month…and then I realized I felt great and didn’t miss the animal products so much.” She shrugs. “I had more energy, I felt stronger, my skin looked amazing - trust me, after a week, you’ll practically be glowing.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder with a melodramatic flair, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, a playful smile dimpling her cheeks.

He laughs with her, shaking his head. “Oh, thank god. My skin is a nightmare.” His sarcasm sparks her laugh again, and it inflates his chest even more. He feels light, easy, weightless as the dust motes floating through a sunbeam between them.

Her giggles die down when her phone timer buzzes, signaling her to check the roasting potatoes in the oven. Sidestepping him, she leans down carefully in front of the open door, waves of heat assaulting them both as she pokes and prods the vegetables with a spatula. “Perfect,” she closes the oven door with a satisfied nod. “Just a few more minutes. And it looks like that’s almost done, too.” She gestures to his pan and hands him a lid to cover it. “You can go ahead and turn the burner off - the water has cooked out, so we’ll just need to let it sit.”

With the rest of their ingredients prepped and waiting in a neat row on the island, they slide onto a pair of barstools as 14 sets another short timer on her phone. Steve takes a sip from his beer, leaning an elbow on the counter as he turns to face her.

“Have you always liked to cook?” he asks. In his mind, there are a million questions - they roll over each other, constantly trying to push their way out of his mouth, his overwhelming curiosity wishing he could crack open her shell through sheer force of will. Instead, he drums his fingers against the counter, picks at the label on his beer bottle, scratches his beard, and waits for her to speak.

“Oh, no, not at all,” she laughs at the question. She’s not facing him, but she smiles, fingers lightly tracing the stem of her wine glass. “Actually I used to hate it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Surprised?”

Steve is surprised - her kitchen confidence certainly impressed him. Not once has she consulted a recipe, or googled how long to roast potatoes in the oven, how to make lemon tahini sauce. Things that would’ve left him completely stumped and likely going hungry.

“A little. You really seem to know your way around a kitchen, that’s all.”

“Well…” she takes a deep breath, and he can see the shape of it forming in her mind: whatever it is she’s about to tell him, whatever she’s preparing to say - it matters. With a fortifying gulp of wine, she knots her fingers together and forges ahead. “I used to have a lot of…um, body image issues, you know? Super critical of myself, low self esteem…it got pretty bad for a while.” She doesn’t elaborate, because he doesn’t need to know and how could she even begin to tell it? Too many cups of coffee and too few meals, the feeling of a toothbrush in the back of her throat. It hurts her now, the memory of that girl who thought that making herself less would somehow make her enough. She reaches for the wine again. Steve stays quiet, his eyes watchful and soft. It hurts him, too.

“Yeah?” he murmurs.

“Yeah.” Glancing at him, she licks her bottom lip, before turning her eyes back down to her hands. “Anyway - cooking helped me learn how to actually take care of myself.” A half-hearted little shrug, a self-conscious smile. “That’s really all there is to it.”

He nods, holding her gaze, his eyes flicking back and forth between her own. Her shoulders curl where she sits a little hunched at the stool, bare feet tucked up on a bar that ran between the legs of the stool, one knee bouncing rapidly. A minute ticks by, then two, the kitchen gone quiet and warm, hazy with the smell of a good meal.

“You know, a long time ago, before I was…this-” He gestures to himself, his big shoulders and tree trunk thighs, the massive everything of him. “- before the serum, well, I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures. Or a documentary,” he smirks, a little rueful. “I was less than half the size I am now - short, skinny, no matter how much I ate my ribs stuck out. Buck used to try to help me train, doing pushups or learning how to box, but I was still so weak. A strong breeze could’ve knocked me over, probably - plus, I had asthma, and I was always getting sick with one thing or another…honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t die before the army got me.”

It coaxes a mirroring smile from her, one elbow propped on the island. She shuffles on top of the stool, turning to face him fully.

“I thought…I don’t know, I thought I’d feel…different. Better, once I was stronger.” He shakes his head, chuckling at himself. “But it was more like…I was just in the wrong body. I kept bumping into things, hitting my head on doorframes; I took up more space than I thought I should.” Letting go of his beer, he spreads his hands in front of him, turning them over alternately and staring at the broad palms, the strong fingers, crisscrossed with veins and scars. “Drove myself crazy trying to sketch. I kept breaking my charcoal, snapping pencils…it was like trying to draw with another person’s hands.”

“Did you get used to it?” she asks. The hand not occupied with her wine glass reaches out to gently take hold of his wrist. A delicate thumb drags across his pulse, and she looks down at the lines of his palms, still uncalloused and pink. Her hand cradles his large one as she brings her eyes up to his own.

“More or less,” he shrugs. “Sometimes I still pass a mirror and do a double take.” More often than he would admit, in fact. He thinks of all the mornings he comes home from a brutal run - double marathons, barely sweating - and sees himself getting into his shower, a god he doesn’t recognize staring back at him.

She nods. She understands.

“Taking care of yourself helps. I think - it never quite goes away, but…” her smile is sweet. Hopeful. “The little things. They help.”

Turning his wrist, he grasps her hand with his own. Her skin is soft and warm; smaller fingers slide between his thick ones. Once, a long time ago, their hands would have been the same size.

Just as he opens his mouth to speak, her phone buzzes, vibrating against the counter and startling them both. As she withdraws her hand, she grins up at him.

“You hungry, Rogers?”

“Starving.”

**********

They take their bowls into the living room, joining Sam and 41 on the couch. Steve does his best with the chopsticks at first, but he still hasn’t gotten used to it. In the name of efficiency, he switches to a fork so that he can shovel the food into his mouth faster.

“Woah - what is that?” Sam leans over to get a better look. He sniffs the air. “Damn, it smells amazing.”

“It’s called a Buddha bowl,” 14 says, politely covering her mouth to conceal the sweet potatoes she’s still chewing. With her fork, she strategically arranges the next bite, collecting a little bit of everything: quinoa, potatoes, tahini sauce, avocado, greens. “Because it’s pure bliss,” she adds, before neatly shoving the next forkful into her mouth.

Steve hums in agreement, his own cheeks stuffed full. His bowl is half empty already. Peaking around 14’s shoulder, Agent 41 licks her lips and makes eye contact with Sam.

“I mean…maybe, we could try making some?” she shrugs her shoulders. “With a little Yum Yum sauce, too, I bet that would be good…” Sam is already nodding in agreement, pulling out his phone to look up a recipe.

“Don’t worry,” 14 smiles, patting her friend’s thigh. “I made plenty for everyone.”

As the other two scramble up from the couch and into the kitchen, she catches Steve’s eye and winks.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x agent 14 #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic #steve rogers oneshot #steve rogers x reader fic

[annehall24]

Like the Heart Goes [Part 1]

Chuck Shurley x Reader

Summary: In a fit of rage, Sam picks up the gun to kill God. When he accidentally shoots you instead, Chuck decides that he has had enough.

Warning: Lots of Language, Season 14 /15 spoilers, Angry Chuck, Violence, injuries

Word Count: 2500

A/N: Okay, so I know I said that it would be called “This Is Not the End”, but I changed my mind. All GIfs/Pics come from Google Images and are not mine.

You should have seen it coming. He would be calm and happy one second and scary and intimidating less than a millisecond later. There was that, and the whole "soul" thing. He had created billions of souls, yet he claimed that he couldn't fix Jack's. Then, there was the gun. The equalizer, as he called it. He created it to be used on his own grandson, just for entertainment. You thought, either he changed dramatically since you last saw him, or he was always like this and you were a fool. Either way, you sure did feel like one.

"Hey, Chuck!" Sam yells. You turn towards Sam and see him holding the equalizer, as Chuck called it. Whatever happens to the target happens to the person who shot the gun.

It took a second to realize that if Sam killed Chuck then not only would Sam die too, but the universe would as well. It was all about balance, as Chuck once told you. Even if you now know that Chuck never cared about you, you still couldn't let him die.

"Sam, wait!" You yelled. As Chuck turned around to face sam, You took two small steps before you felt something ripping through your right shoulder. It felt as though you had been shoved backwards and next thing you knew, you were on the ground with a small hole in your right shoulder.

"Y/N!" Dean yelled. You put your hard over the wound as you looked at Sam, who also had been affected by the shot.

Chuck looked at you with worried eyes before setting a straight face again. He was angry and you could feel it seeping out of him like radiation. It was suffocating you. You were the one who had been shot, not him. What would he be angry for?

"Fine! That's the way you want it?" He yelled at Sam. Nothing could have prepared you for what came out of his mouth after that. "Story's over. Welcome to The End."

"Hey, you okay?" Dean asks Sam as you lean against one of the tombstones. Sam just shot you, accidentally of course, but it still hurt like hell.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." Sam says. "Y/N, are you okay?" you nod your head in response.

"I'm fine." You respond as Dean helps you up. "What the hell just happened." It was day, now it is night. What the hell is the point of changing the damn time?

"The hell if I know," Dean says. Sam struggles to his feet as you notice Cas. He's sitting next to Jack's corpse, and you can't help but feel sorry for him. He was closer to Jack than the rest of you. Even though you help Cas when it came to hiding Kelly from everyone, including the Winchester, Jack chose Cas as his father.

Sam looked at Jack, whose eyes had been burnt out by Chuck, before saying, "Wait. I thought Chuck said that the gun was the only thing that could..." He was referring to when Chuck said that the gun was the only thing that could kill Jack. That obviously wasn't the case, since he killed Jack no problem.

"He's a writer," Cas managed to say. "Writers lie." Not long after those words left Cas's mouth, you heard a popping sound. Looking around to see if anyone else heard it, you figured out that you weren't alone. It happened several more times, and that was when you noticed the things popping out from the ground. Is this what Chuck meant when he said, "Welcome to the End?"

"What the hell is happening?!" Dean said. He looked at you, so you shrugged your shoulders. You had no idea what was happening.

"Cas?" You asked. You figured that out of everyone, that he'd have a better idea. Honestly, you were mostly wanting Chuck to show up again so that you could beat the living crap out of him.

"Souls." He said. "They're souls from - from Hell."

"Shit." You say. Several more souls shot up from the ground, then something else happened. Lighting struck some, more like several, of the graves. The dead began rising, and you could tell you were all screwed. It actually wasn't that hard to figure out.

The zombies, for lack of a better word, began approaching you guys. You notice Cas taking out his angel blade. You suddenly wished that you had your sword, but today had been a really stressful day. Before you could realize that Dean had walked away in the first place, he was handing you a rusty iron rod that was probably from one of the fences. He handed one to you, then Sam, and he had one for himself as well.

The zombies get closer until they finally decide to attack. You swat the rod at one of the zombies. The almost fell over, so you took the chance to stab them with the rod, which actually did make them fall. You fought two more zombies before, hearing Cas call out all of your names. He picked up Jack's body and began running away from where you all were standing. You took that as your cue to follow.

Sam seemed to notice something, although it was probably because he was a giant and taller than you. He yelled, "Dean, this way!" Suddenly, you felt something grab onto your ankle. You looked down and then you felt it snap.

Dean heard you cry out in pain and smashed his foot onto the zombie's head. He picked you up bridal-style and began running behind Sam and Cas. You guys were pretty surrounded. You looked at Sam, and if it were just a normal day, you would have laughed at how Sam shoved one of the zombies over, causing it to fall and lay there.  You guys ran inside of a mausoleum. Dean gently set you down while Sam barricaded the door.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Dean asked. You nodded your head before he checked your ankle. You winced as soon as his fingers brushed it. He gave you an apologetic look, before refocusing his attention on your ankle. He examined it with a frown before sighing.

"It's broken." He says as he pats your shoulder.

"Figures." you scoff. This was the worst time to break your ankle. You felt helpless.

"Here." he finds some pieces of clothing in one of the corners. he grabs one of them and tries tears it to shreds. Once he finally succeeds, he wraps it around your ankle. He holds out his hand for you to grab. You take it because you needed something to hold on to. He was being as gentle as he could, but it still hurt. You were sure that you were hurting his hand by how hard you were squeezing it. If it did hurt him, he kept it to himself.

He stands back up and examines the room you guys are in. Then he looks down at Jack. "He didn't deserve this," he said. You completely agreed.

"Cas, is he here? C-C-Can you... Can you...?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so," Cas said. He looked downright miserable and he had every right to be.

"So, what? Chuck throws friggin' zombies at us now?!" Said dean angrily. He looked pissed, and although he usually never gets angry at you, you felt it. You were about to say something but Sam spoke up before you did,

"I don't know if they're zombies, Dean," he said, "I think... I think whenever the souls came up from Hell that they... they just..." You understood where he was coming from. You were about to respond, but Dean beat you to it.

"They what? Just jumped into the nearest body?" He said. You figured that if you wanted to speak, you had to do it fast.

"It makes sense," you said. "They're souls from hell. Those bodies probably aren't theirs." Dean nodded his head in understanding while Sam looked at you and your ankle with a worried expression. Today just wasn't your day.

First, your first love showed up out of nowhere. He had the nerves to bring back old memories of the two of you. Then, he betrayed you. Then, he killed someone you cared deeply about. One of your best friends accidentally shot you. Afterwards, he set a bunch of zombies on you and you broke your ankle. Well, technically the "zombie-like" creature did, but that's beside the point.

"Is that door really going to hold?" You ask. The way the barricaded it didn't look very stable. It looked like one push would cause the torch to fall and allow the ghosts to come barging in here.

"The doors are banded iron, so... I hope." Sam says. Dean paces around the room. You wanted to yell at him to knock it off and stay still, but then you wondered if it was calming him down.

"Chuck... He said, 'Welcome to the End.' What... What does that mean?"

"Maybe it means 'Welcome to the end'?" Dean gave you a Sam level bitch face before he continued pacing.

"Cas? Come on, man! Ideas! Can you smite our way out of here?" He asked.

"No. You saw them. I would be overwhelmed, Dean. I... I don't know. They... They're ghosts, technically. Maybe... Maybe we can burn their bones?" Cas suggested. You thought about it, but then you realized the flaw in that plan.

"Burn their bones? Cas, their bodies could be anywhere." Sam said. They needed to give Cas a break. He's hurting, Dean's hurting, Sam's hurting. Everybody's hurting.

"Great. So we go outside, we get ripped apart. We stay in here, w-what, starve to death?!" He says standing next to where your sitting.

"Well, I wouldn't starve." Way to go, Cas, for stating the obvious.

"Well, good for you. Good. Son of a bitch. Chuck. Man, I knew it." He said. You slightly winced as soon as Chuck's name was said, but luckily nobody noticed... except Sam. "I knew he would do something like this. He's always so squirrelly, you know, with the... with the... the robe and the beard and... the smile that's, like, half-nice, half I'm gonna rip your throat out. 'Oh, let me play you a song.' Ugh!" What Dean said was true. In the past, Chuck didn't seem as bipolar as he did today. It actually made you feel pretty uncomfortable when he yelled at Dean, then he smiled and snapped you guys back to the bunker. Your ankle began to feel uncomfortable.

"Damnit. I think my ankle is swelling," you say capturing Dean’s attention. He kneeled next to you so that he could help.

"Here, let me look at it,” He said as he tried to get a good look at your ankle.

"It's fine. I can- What the hell!" You yelled. You were no longer in the mausoleum with Sam, Dean, and Cas. You looked around the familiar room, and quickly recognized where you were. This was Chuck's living room, or at least it used to be before he disappeared in 2010. You knew this place all too well. You lived here with Chuck, as his assistant, before you knew monsters were real, before you knew Sam and Dean were real, and before Chuck told you his feelings for you were real. What a load of crap that was.

"Hey, Y/N," Chuck said. You finally notice him standing in front of you. "How are things?" You could feel your face becoming redder than the time Dean accidentally spilt beer all over you in public.

"You know damn well how things are." You said. You were not going to let him know how heartbroken you were. Although, him being God, he probably already knows.

"I know. When Sam shot you, I was angry too." He said casually.

"I'm not mad at Sam. I'm mad at you!" You yelled. Things with him weren't the same anymore. He left you too many times and his betrayal was too big.

"Okay, yeah. I admit that was pretty crazy."You looked at him with pure anger, before you somehow managed to get up. You struggled towards the door before Chuck worriedly asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving." You say. You stop hopping toward the door and you have to hold on to something to not fall over. "I'm going back to my friends. I will crawl back to them if I have to because they actually care about me."

"You think I don't care about you?" Chuck asked with a confused frown as he makes his way towards you. You hold out your hand to tell him not to come any closer.

"I know you don't," You scoff. "If you did, you would have left us alone."

"Y/N," Chuck says seriously as he crossed his arms. It was the kind of look a parent gave their kid before they grounded them."I never toyed with your life. Do you really hate me that much?"

"Let me see," You pretend to think for a moment before speaking."You killed Jack, betrayed us all, and freed all the souls from hell. Take a guess."

"What about all the good moments we shared?"He said, ask though reminding you would convince you to stay. "Like when we went to the beach, or that Supernatural convention, or our first kiss?"

"You mean all those times you lied to my face?" You said trying to give him your best bitch face.

"Be reasonable, Y/N." He ordered. You would have slapped him if you didn't need to hold onto the wall for support. "Would I have ever given you a second glance if I didn't care about you?"

"Fuck you." You said turning towards the door. You missed the regretful look Chuck had at his words. You wouldn't have cared either way if you did see it.

"Y/N, wait." He said as he turned you around. "I'm sorry."

"You said that you've never toyed with my life, but every fucking second I've spent with you is you toying with my life." You snap.

"How?" He said. Did he not realize how messed up he's been to you?

"You made me fall in love you, only for you to go running to Becky when things didn't look so good for you. Then you came back to me and then disappeared for six years. It took a whole year for me to move on! I thought you died! Then you come back and make me fall in love with you again and then you left me again. Now you're back again, but what you did to Jack-" You said stopping before you could say any more.

"Y/N-" He said, Although you weren't finished.

"I wish I never met you." That seemed to get his attention because his expression went blank. After a second it turned dark. You'd be lying if you said it didn't terrify you. That look would probably look terrifying on anybody, but it would be nothing close to how it looked on Chuck. Most of the time you've seen him, he looked calm and happy. Now he not only looked pissed, but deadly as well. He raised his fingers to snap, but he didn't. Instead, He just stared angrily back at you before storming out the door instead.

#god!chuck #ohmychuck #spn chuck #chuck shurley #Chuck #spn chuck shurley x reader #spn chuck shurley #God!Chuck x Reader #spn chuck x reader #SPN Fan #SPN FANDOM #spn spoilers #SPN Family #spn forever #spn fic #spn famdom #spnfandom #supernatural #supernatural imagines #supernatural fanfic #writing is writing #spn 14x20 #spn 15x01 #spn season 14 spoilers #spn season finale #spn season premiere #spn season 15 spoilers

[sirjustice105-blog]

Theft eliminated finally

Now we got the hand held thermometer with decimals at some few meters it tells ya friend, neighbor or brother temp, so if an intruder transfigures to their likes u take it from beside or behind and what u eject is a rod, u hit him with good and nowhere u will be taken cause he has disturbed ya 4 long and its been a nuisance as much as with banks. If ya money stolen or u killed, ambushed or kidnapped is the bank staff wanting to take ya cash and if u had written a will 4 ya money to be given like $ 1 to every bank client then they got to obey that so they dont benefit from ya cash if the manage to do the above. The problem will solve it self as uncle Nellies of the south tells no point 4 empty romantic illusions like philosophical sayings which have only made such people be killed and the above technology can be used in passport centers, point of entries of countries in voting centers, schools, jobs etc 4 identification.

E-speed boat as well can be of help to Somali to get goods and people to the other side via the Indian or red sea cause its not that wide to Yemen or Oman and if those nations have built good infrastructures like rail system and road then getting to UAE or Kuwait after connecting with road or rail from speed boat aint an issue.

They even get plates parts which are broken from houses and take them to like the nursing homes and shelters to be counted as broken as new one replenished while the not broken 1 but hidden shipped to African markets like explained below but lucky enough Africans have learnt to make such as plates where u take broken part place in dough 30% weight of the plate- u measure it with ya weighing machine- then in the dark hurl cold water unto it and boom its formed.

Unless God speaks again is when we can authenticate the bible truth and doctrines, if not they were written but 1 thing cements the truth to tell u God exists like at night u hear hell door being shut up with a voice and those who have died if u partake -mwarubaine- u see them in hell or on bench waiting or free. Goat and ship parable to bring the above reality

Ona vile voke amefura vile anatembea, eti madem anatake wameongeza mangari na sasa watu wanataka kuanza kuwasumbuwa sasa ni sharti alete hiyo jinsia waache eti got to be wise or cleaver to rattle a certain trait dude period.

Look at how dedanul is standing on the road some1 might think he is thinking profoundly but unfortunately if u could have known his thinking u could be pitying him as his wife is cooking stew meat and he is somehow angry but with the visitors to the the above, it means he will have to part with few pieces as well as a small piece of ugali which if alone he can eat like 4 times, so he is thinking on how he can do the same with still maintaining respect. See what am saying, he is calling his wife to keep him the food he wont be able to eat with them so if they leave some ugali he will add to his. Girlfriend " I will be there after an hour" says delanu, as he head to but a dime roasted maize on the other side of the road.

East Africa boat making company in the links below

https://www.google.com/search?q=tanzania+speed+boat+making+company&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjNr5DT1N_oAhUJmxQKHXTWCLsQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=654

https://www.montereyboats.com/Boat-Manufacturer-4-5.html

https://www.facebook.com/SamAnzaiBoatBuildersCoLtd/

Atomic bomb made with many abbreviation written on boxes placed under dough, used clothes, plastic or glass bottle, chaff or cereals as well a cotton wool or leaves and cold water poured, same to nucleic bomb where the place in dough aint the above abbreviated boxes but egg albumen or nucleus or York.

Paid we want his corpse via political turmoil like those who were shot up high on chopper or exhumed or in anyway possible not known to de public. KEBI corpse.

Locate not loyal people to the govt if they got rich followers so kill them like above to later lias with clan members to exhume to take the coffin and replaced with an exhumed old 1 now as much as jewels and shoes as much as suits. Try with along tumblr signing up/in email of more than 35 character to log in another computer, it cant dude, it tells u wrong format, so how on earth u want the same.

Bank should capture people opening account to avoid impersonating fellow doing the same which creates hardship between ya and the bank like in the link below, so it can be retrieved or place under the bank website for public 4 every a/c opened where u input id no or name and it comes with the held in hand detectors in place like temperatures, pulse rate or bmi to make it impeccable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSPhaaAcIo8

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hand+held+temperature+machine

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hand+held+bmi+machine

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hand+held+body+must+index+machine

Buy wind turbine and rotate it not with wind but another gear motor like in the link below the motor shown while on motion in24 hr way consume 2 units of Kenyan power so in a month consumes 30 units which is $ 12 no-matter what, so its a nice energy saver as sometimes u switch off the motor when not using the electricity or to avoid overheating that could burn the motor. So u rotate the wind turbine with 12 bucks while the energy given u use to power your house gadgets as much as lighting and shower. Owner of think twice electronics, u can buy 1 that uses 120 volts to still save much connecting it to a 120-240 step up/down transformer, the electric bill would be even less that $ 12 specified above, make work easy dude

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=alibaba+wind+turbine+

https://www.google.com/search?q=alibaba+120+volts+motors+images&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiOxPGWguDoAhWLERQKHVuEACkQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=654

Dont be bored listen to the song below, click the link, a woman who shys away from connecting ya to bad people who if u did not have they could be giving u names but want from ya and leave bad kids around to disturb others https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS516F6YGI011:37The local girls are now pretty but they are connected to dignitaries so folks leave them alone cause it can derail ya, u know dude!!!While negro counterpart want to associate ya to bad character people who r of no help to ya but want from ya that way, so people leave them alone, blessing in disguise or let them be prostitutes14:26Mcsleepy Nelson If she doesn’t play with it now when its dry when will she play with it, magdalin go ahead play with it girl, to big 4 ya girl, nah, then do ya work, make it happy, play with ya, the ball in ya court. The local girls are now pretty but they are connected to dignitaries so folks leave them alone cause it can derail ya, u know dude!!! While negro counterpart want to associate ya to bad character people who r of no help to ya but want from ya that way, so people leave them alone, blessing in disguise or let them be prostitutes. KEBI is dancing as if his girlfriend is preparing green-grams or stew beans to be eaten with rice or chapati at night in the song link below      

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v5DU1brzVw

Buy siporui electrical generator and sincro as googled

Parcel can be carried on e-boats to span the seas that has 2 motors that dont stop all way through dude. so countries on the edges direct to other continents have the day like Eritrea and Senegal as much as caring other goods and people

Click the E-engines 4 mini-speed boat in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+e-engines+for+speed+boats&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiUnt_KotvoAhXynFwKHSSjAsYQsAR6BAgHEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

Hindu and Britain u r poor back off dude, how long we will be warning or telling u that, take ya broke ass home in the song link below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0SyUgw98tE

https://picsthatmakeyougohmm.tumblr.com/post/614876193170259968/hmmm

The type of hole above is found on the shores of Mexican coastline to perform well the described below as well as in African coastline and inland waters as well as the Caribbean isles

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A31-46&version=NLT

The link above rep those who are feeling bad that u have made it through out of hell fire zone as the expected as paid eye witness as u say Mr Hindu willow pachi as ya mind to give ya different behavioral character, weed parable or Jesus with little children to cement the truth which tantamount to zero-work on hindu looking for high seat like in the link below

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+14%3A15-24&version=NIV

Jesus was killed mainly of saying about nyama tree which is a permanent fresh mint 4 mouth. In the cross saying italic works with wide loud voice as if he has been administered 1 via the nose as its done traditionally in Africa and it was growing in kisii, king of the jew to cement the truth and Christ was hanging on cross like meat in the butchers to signal me is where i interrelated the bible chapters even with like ten minas as it has ma sound as nyamawho to find the drug and still inter-related it with Malachi 4 as i used to love mala as curdled milks as worker and vineyard parable crops in to cement the above truth and when the drug is administered much they tie you and u produce crying sound like an infant or a kid or a child as much with much innovations i have placed in other tumblr a/c following this. Women also helped with with the slogan Barnabas to signal us to read the bible to inter-related to like come with the above which could be impossible without it. Moreover i got next house neighbors called Malachi to bring home reality above and the way most hooligans eat with making extra keys. Chi-ngato tM, Mathare valley were downtown not flat looking like Chicago cbd to bar people from going their cause they will be tired of walking and hinder the pursuit of gunman robbers

Ny still reach as tumblr still theirs which has won the confidence of many as it can be used to serve justice as opposed to other like Facebook who dis-enable ya a/c without ya consent and must have a phone and a line to open unlike tumblr but the problem is like with orgamistic photos are not in many small boxes to navigate easy like with Instagram but in a long line which is hard to scroll down but they can avert the whole drama bro

If Africa come up with their own bullet train like with SA then they can make a 2 way rail not 1 as seen in many nations to reach the cost lands like west Africa, North Africa like morocco to connect using yacht to Europe Spain to deliver the above explained parcels as with Eritrea though not fast as air but another reduced price delivery like 4 home appliances as much as office or just gadgets like furniture, clothes or office where or people. Even with Caribbean isles with South America and the ship the same goods to like North America huge population nations like Mexico or USA cause those islands are in the middle creating another new frontier of employment 4 those who can take long to afford instant air-tickets. Africans as well can in place of the rail above make their own wide super highways to facilitate the above from coast to coast once they have known the technology.

In USA shelters or nursing homes they even target small gadgets like nail cutters or combination padlocks, bandage, Colgate, soaps, shampoo, perfumes and bring them to Africa like explained above, even with health gadgets they open and create a hitch in their, which the hospital declare unfit, they take it and bring it to Africa still as much as with much drugs and medicines in nursing homes and those hospitals which got a nursing home. Transportation cost nothing cause its Electric yacht or drone as much as airplane so they dont give a hoot.

Cut like going to fully ripe avocado and taken the next day it suppose to ripe treats tetanus to cement Christ truth with worker and vineyard parable another version as much as the inside of the mango seed or avocado treats many sicknesses which u ought to investigate. Where if u find, bring the above place in darkness in a cut way they hurl cold water upon them to make the medication u want.

Ndawa and dawa as well find their way to Africa via the above methods as worker and vineyard parable crops in to cement the truth as much as mfalme wa ya whodi of what Christ was saying not ya own interpreted versions. Dust is the Satan food as well to bring out reality.

If u do any voodoo to me like pouring out this and that on my this and that to harm me, u have gotten it out wrong as i got magrass, manyasi as antidote which the boomerang comes back to ya. Like falling under ya own trap after u 4 get u place it their.

Many grave in Poland or Siberia which could fall to cannibals are manned this way, u place the 2 above to power the wireless camera which is shielded from strong light and bad weather like falling snow or rain and upper part of the grave was a placed stone cover which if slides a little bit switches on to ring the siren alarm system which is its speakers are place high on the post and on the writing stone tablet placed on the grave which is heavy like in the link below to avoid exhumation until a certain period of time lapses

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-200w-12v24v-wind-power-generator-red-lantern-style-wind-turbine-street-lamp-11713558.html

https://www.jumia.co.ke/electronics-cameras-security-surveillance/?q=wireless+cameras

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-lcd-wireless-gsm-home-burglar-fire-alarm-system-pet-immune-rir-sensor-security-us-plug-19416292.html

https://www.jumia.co.ke/home-office/?q=wireless%20alarm%20systems

https://www.alibaba.com/trade/search?fsb=y&IndexArea=product_en&CatId=&SearchText=solar+powered+generator

Once the casket is placed, u place a concrete immediately to still create another same casket room 4 the above to be installed.

Made in Tanzania speed boat in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=speedboats+made+in+tanzania+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwihu5z9guDoAhU08uAKHaf0DCQQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=654#imgrc=U_Lna7-hBQ4PNM

https://www.facebook.com/SamAnzaiBoatBuildersCoLtd/

Worlds 1st yacht pricing in the link show below, click 4 more dude, nitatomba wasichana hapo ndani mimi kebin dawe was MN

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-google-coop&ei=UoqRXsO_D_rggwf-p6qQCg&q=electric+yatch+pricing&oq=electric+yatch+pricing&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzIFCCEQoAEyBQghEKABOgQIABBHOgQIABANOggIABAWEAoQHjoGCAAQFhAeOggIABANEAUQHjoICAAQCBANEB46BQgAEM0COgcIIRAKEKABShEIFxINMTAtMzRnMzQ1ZzMyOEoMCBgSCDEwLTJnNWczUJO8AVjczgFggdIBaABwAngAgAHtA4gBmRSSAQcyLTQuMy4xmAEAoAEBqgEHZ3dzLXdpeg&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjDsPamhODoAhV68OAKHf6TCqIQ4dUDCAs&uact=5

[evesbeve]

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx​, @clumsinessinperson​, @aesthetically-bitching​ and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching​, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

#evelina nonesense #anon #ask #gayish asks #i can't believe i did this

[an-abundance-of-castiels]

Best Left Forgotten

Part 15: Missing

Series Summary: You wake up in the bunker with a serious head injury and no memory of the last year or the Winchesters and find that Dean is avoiding you. You are determined to find out the truth about what happened but maybe the truth is best left forgotten.

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings: language, Season 10 Spoilers

Word Count: 1476

General Disclaimer: I do not own the gif or any of the Supernatural properties or characters. This is a fan piece and is intended to be enjoyed only as such.

A/N: This is my first fic so any and all feedback is appreciated! A HUGE thanks to @weirdochick56 for rough beta-ing and encouraging me to pick this up again and give it another try in the first place!

Best Left Forgotten Masterlist

Missed Part 14?

**********

You hop up from the table in the library. Sam looks over from his book. “Is it time already?” He smiles.

“Yeah…” you grin from ear to ear. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this happy before. You turn to walk down the stairs and hear Sam following. You turn to face him. “Sam… could I maybe… have a few minutes alone with him? I… I know it’s not-”

Sam cuts you off “It’s fine, y/n, I get it. I’ll be down in a little bit, okay?” He smiles and sits down, picking up his book. You smile gratefully at Sam before turning and heading down the stairs. You practically run to the storage room where Dean is tied up and yank the door open.

Your stomach hits the floor.

The chair is empty. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

You bolt back up to the library. Sam jumps up when he sees the terror on your face.

“He got out!” you yell. Your arms shake at your side as a mixture of fear for Dean and for you and Sam swim in your head.

“Whattya mean ‘he got out’???” You see Sam’s brain moving a million miles an hour in his eyes and he turns to you suddenly. “Leave.” He tosses you the keys to baby. “GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE FINDS YOU.”

You quickly shift from panic to determination. “Stop Sam. We don’t have time to argue! I have a plan. We need to turn the power off..”

  Cuah!

You inhale and sit up sharply. You hear a clatter to your right and look over to see a blonde, friendly-looking nurse picking up her blood pressure cuff and a few pens. You realize that you are laying in a hospital bed and hooked up to several machines. How the hell did you get here? You try to think hard about where you were last when- “Ah!” Your shoulder burns and stings sharply.

The nurse steadies herself and walks over to you. “How’s the pain?”

“Fine. How long have I been asleep? And who admitted me? When can I go?” The questions fall out of your mouth quickly. You are desperate to find Sam and Cas. At the thought of his name, the image of Dean plunging the angel blade down assaults your eyes. You feel a sharp pain in your chest. Oh God. Cas… Your eyes fill with tears and you feel sick at your stomach. There is no saving Dean now. You know that. If he would kill his best friend…

“Calm down, Sweetie.” She studies you for a minute, tears and all, “Do you need a sedative?”

“No,” you reply quickly. You wipe away the tears and attempt to put on your assertive face. “I need answers to my questions.” You flail for a moment, and then you steady yourself. “I… I need my emergency contact’s info so I can call my mom.” You look her in the eye and continue evenly. “I have a right to that, surely.”

The nurse’s attitude softens and she apologizes for being rude while pulling your chart from its perch on the wall. “You’ve been admitted for… three hours. You had two transfusions… Your emergency contact is listed as… Dean Smith.” She looks up nervously, hoping that you are satisfied.

Dean? You were stunned. Dean kicked you aside. He had just killed Cas. Why would he take you to a hospital? “Where are my things? I need my cell.”

The nurse opened a standing wardrobe sitting in the corner and pulled out a plastic bag labeled “PATIENT’S BELONGINGS” and handed them to you. “Do you have any more questions, ma’am?”

“I wanna be discharged,” you declare as you dig through your bags. “Immediately.” Shit. They cut your shirt.

“Ma’am you just had a transfusion, we need to observe you and do blood work. Not to mention that you were shot and just had surgery to remove the bullet. At the earliest, you may be able to go home tomorrow.” She eyes you cautiously.

You smile at the nurse and relax back into your bed. You are going to have to sneak out of here. You begin to discreetly check all the ways you could exit. Door and window are the only two options.. “Thank you, ma’am. I’m gonna call my family and take a nap.”

The nurse eyes you suspiciously for a moment and then leaves. The moment the door closes, you pull out your phone and dial Sam. It barely rings once before he answers.

Sam starts talking the moment he picks up. He is begging and sounds panicked and breathy. “Dean! Where is Y/N? You gotta take her to a hospital. She’s gonna bleed out. Please Dean do-”

“Sam! It’s me. I’m fine.” You interrupt him, hoping to ease his panic. “I’m at the Jewel County Hospital.”

Sam is silent for a moment. “Dean shot you… and then took you to a hospital? Is he there?”

You hear Sam start a car and begin to drive. “No.” You sigh, “He dropped me off apparently. Hey, I need you to bring me a shirt so I can sneak out of here. We HAVE to find him… He… He…” You swallow hard as the memory sears to the surface again. How are you going to tell Sam that his brother murdered their adopted brother, his own best friend? Probably the only innocent angel in existence, who saved your lives more than once. Who loved you three more than his own life. You swallow against the pain in your chest and stomach and let the words spill out as if they were dissolving your stomach from the inside out, “He killed Cas, Sam. He stabbed him. In the library with his own angel blade.” The tears come and all of the pain and fear you’ve been holding back comes out in sobs. You drop the phone and your tears turn to shame. You couldn’t save Cas. If you had been stronger, he would still be here. Sam is saying something, but the phone clatters to the ground and you bury your face in the pillow and just let it out. You can’t tell if it’s been minutes or an hour of tears when someone taps on your shoulder. You turn to see Sam sitting next to you.

“How’d you get here so fast?” You mutter. He can’t be reckless like this. Sam is all that’s left now. Your chest aches at this thought.

“I was at the bunker. Y/N, Cas is fine.”

You are stunned by this revelation. How is this even possible? “B-but I saw him die…”

Sam scoots over next to you and puts an arm around you. “No. I mean Dean beat the hell outta him, but he didn’t kill him.” Sam says softly. He grabs your hand and holds it tightly. “He’s out looking for you. I called him, he shou-”

Sam’s words are interrupted by the door swinging open. In walks your favorite trench-coated angel. Blood is splattered across the neck and chest of his coat, but there is no hole in his chest and his face looks perfect. His usually even face is colored with concern and fear.

You stare at him for a moment in shock before your face lights up. You launch yourself from the bed at him and wrap him in a hug so tight, you might worry he couldn’t breathe if he wasn’t an angel. You don’t know how or why, but your angel is here and alive and that means there is hope left. You begin to feel woozy from the sudden movement. Cas gingerly helps you back to the bed.

Cas smiles at you, “I’m glad to see that you are okay as well.”

“How?” Is all you can manage to say through the lightheadedness of both moving so fast and the joy of Cas’s return to the land of the living.

Cas’s smile falls. “Dean stabbed the books next to me, told me to keep you and Sam away from him, and then he left with you. I was terrified that he would hurt you… but I could not move for several minutes. I was almost unconscious. I started looking for you immediately after I got up.” Cas looks down, ashamed of his weakness.

You reach up and take his hand. When you do, you feel the warmth of Cas’s grace flow to your shoulder and heal it. “Thank you, Cas. For everything.” You look him in the eye and try to convey in those few words how much he means to you. You take Sam’s hand with your other one and look at him, and, for a moment, you appreciate this moment here with your family. There’s only one thing missing.

You glance from Cas to Sam. “How do we find Dean?”

Part 16

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[justincaseitmatters]

Rewind: A Man and His Film

L.Q. Jones returns to KC with his cautionary tale, A Boy and His Dog

by Dan Lybarger KCActive.com April 14, 2010

At 82, character actor L.Q. Jones has a lot to be proud of. Even if his name doesn’t sound familiar, it’s a safe bet that he’s been in the movie theater with you or on your TV. The tall Texas-born actor with the craggy voice and a bushy mustache has been in The Wild Bunch, Casino, Gunsmoke, Hell is for Heroes, Rawhide and even the movie version of A Prairie Home Companion, directed by Kansas City’s own Robert Altman.

He’s collaborated with everyone from Elvis Presley to Marlon Brando to Meryl Streep to Martin Scorsese to Charlton Heston to Clint Eastwood to Sir Anthony Hopkins to Antonio Banderas.

Because he’s best known for starring in a long string of television and movie westerns, it initially seems odd that Jones is in his own words “inordinately proud” of having written and directed a 1975 science fiction film that has stayed in theaters like gum under the seats. This is despite the fact that  A Boy and His Dog has been on video and “Netflixable.”

The film received the 1976 Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation at the 34th World Science Fiction Convention-Mid America. Jones came to Kansas City to promote the film when it originally opened and will be returning to Cowtown with a new 35mm print on Saturday, 7 p.m., at the Tivoli Theater as part of KC FilmFest. Tickets are available at www.kcjubilee.org.

True vision

If Jones seems an unlikely custodian of science fiction writer Harlan Ellison’s vision of a world where the surface of the earth is a vast wasteland because of World War IV, a few minutes on the phone will let you know the source of the film’s droll, sardonic humor.

While setting up an interview, I told Jones I was looking forward to our conversation. He replied, “You may not think so after we’re through.” Before we eventually talked, he politely told his other caller, “Let me lie to this gentleman, and give me a buzz back in a couple of hours.”

When I informed him that I viewed the film online before the interview, he sounded almost sorry and said, “I can’t blow smoke at you because you’ve seen it. I can lie, but you’ll catch me at it.”

When I talked with him about the film’s print, I found out I hadn’t seen the movie properly. On VHS, the film was presented in pan and scan, which means that nearly a quarter of the picture was removed in order for the movie to fit on a standard television. Through much of the film, a pre-Miami Vice Don Johnson is wandering through the frame with only a dog for company, and the sense of loneliness gets lost in the narrower format.

Even on DVD or Blu-Ray, there are some subtle shots that need the big screen treatment. According to Jones, the opportunity to catch A Boy and His Dog on a theatrical screen was almost lost. “They said, you need to put (the movie on stock) where the negative will last 50 years,” he recalls. “Of course, it cost an arm and a leg, but that’s what we wanted to do, so we took it up. Then, of course, they came back and said, ‘Well, we do have a little problem. It doesn’t last 50 years. It’s barely lasted 30.’

“The picture was sliding off the negative. We were losing our picture. When I say losing it, I don’t mean it was totally falling off of the print. But everything was changing. Blues were going to greens. Greens were going to pinks. And everything’s shifting, which is bad for us.”

The restoration was additionally hampered by the fact that the film was shot in a process known as Technoscope, which was initially cheaper than 35 mm film because it took up half as much space. Unfortunately, the machines necessary to print the negatives aren’t readily available so the film had to be restored one frame at a time. This meant the restoration and the new prints took nearly three to four months to complete. Jones says, “When we got through, you have a product just like you shot the picture yesterday.”

Not your typical dog story

Part of the reason the film required restoration is that Jones and Ellison’s story is tricky and requires a clear image to be properly understood. To say the film is out of the mainstream is an understatement. After a prologue of nuclear warheads exploding (which was added in 1982), we hear a couple of voices talking as a scruffy, battered young man named Vic (Johnson) crawls along the ground along a seemingly endless desert. We hear both Johnson’s familiar nasal drawl with a deeper, unfamiliar voice.

   Tiger and Vic (Don Johnson) in A Boy and His Dog  

Jones says, “We start with the bottom of a shoe. The voice to most people is friendly, courteous, reverent. It’s a father speaking. It’s a brother, a mother. It’s a military man. It’s a professor that’s talking. It’s got all those timbres. And it starts telling you things your eye sees. You go, ‘Ah. It’s the truth. It knows what it’s talking about. It knows what it’s doing.’

“Incidentally, the voice is coming from a dog.”

The animal in question is Blood, played by Tiger, the dog who starred in The Brady Bunch. He has the disembodied voice of Tim McIntire, who also provided some of the film’s music. Blood, through reasons that are only alluded to in the film, can communicate telepathically with Vic and is smarter, more compassionate and more perceptive than any human being left in the world.

“You realize the only smart human thing in the picture is the dog. All the rest of the things have become animals,” says Jones. “Believe it or not, I’m trying to get you to think. If we don’t get our head out of our fanny, what’s on the screen in A Boy and His Dog is going to happen. That’s the way the world’s going to end up if we don’t stop being so damn greedy and beating up on each other.”

This especially applies to the uncouth Vic, who seeks out women for sex when he’s not scrounging for food. Johnson was an unusually brave performer because he played second fiddle to Tiger. Jones recalls Tiger may indeed have been as bright as the character he was playing.

“No matter how brilliant, you can’t teach any animal sequential tricks. You can teach them to do one, maybe even two, but that’s it,” Jones says. “I said, ‘Tiger, god dammit, you’re on the wrong side of the boiler. I can’t see you. I’m talking to the dog. I’m not talking to the trainer. The dog stays glued to (Johnson’s knee). He stays with him. When Don stops, the dog stops, the way an actor should.”

The dog then proceeds to change positions and bursts into tears on cue in a single take. “Now think about that, sports fans. There are eight tricks in a row. I can’t teach a human actor to do that, and the dog did it in one take,” says Jones. “I accused (trainer) Joe Hornok of reading him the script every night because the damn dog knew what to do that day,” Jones says.

Local vibe

Although the film was shot in California, some of the film’s success can be tied to some intended and unintended local ties. Johnson was a born in Flat Creek, MO, grew up in Kansas and went to college at KU. According to Jones, Johnson was seen as a promising talent during the mid-‘70s, even if he wasn’t a household name yet.

“He was doing big pictures, but he wasn’t making an imprint. I talked to a little over 500 people for the male and female (Susanne Benton) leads in the picture. I worked on that for, good heaven, a year and a half to see if I had the right person. In watching Don work, I knew he could do it, and he does a marvelous job. The old adage is don’t ever work with dogs. Nobody’s even saying don’t work with talking dogs, but he did, and he made it work,” says Jones.

Another local connection isn’t immediately obvious. Later in the film, Vic is lured into a subterranean community that seems like a nightmarish parody of small-town life before the nuclear war. The bizarre community resembles Silver Dollar City on crack, only without any willing tourists. Ellison and Jones named it “Topeka.”

As a native of Kansas’ capital, I had to ask him why he and Ellison chose that name for the dystopia, he first quips, “No. Google. You’re now Google.”

“I really don’t. I tried to stay as close to what Harlan what was doing in the book. I’m used to the name. I’ve been there. I know what the people are like. It’s comfortable, Middle America. I said, ‘Hey, it’ll work.’ I’ve asked Harlan. You can talk to Harlan about things like this. Eventually, you realize he doesn’t know what he’s saying anyway.”

According to Jones, Kansas City was where he faced the most puzzling question about his five-year labor of love with A Boy and His Dog. When a radio host asked him why he made it and wouldn’t accept what Jones told him, the director mulled the question for months.

“The real, real answer is they told me I could not do it. That made me so mad that made me say, ‘By God, I’ll show you,’ he says.

While most films or television shows might employ dozens of animals to play a single character. A Boy and His Dog was entirely dependent on Tiger.

“Do you know what we were going to do if the dog didn’t work or if the dog got sick?” Jones asks. He then answers, “Me. I had makeup. I had wardrobe. I was going to be the dog, as a character, not as a dog, of course.”

“We’ve got one dog. His stand-in was a stuffed toy. If he steps on nail or a piece of glass, we’re done. We’ve got 52 tons of crap to build our sets: everything broken, rusty wires, crap, junk from hospitals. If something happens to the dog, I put on the stuff, and I become a human character. That’s losing 99 percent of what’s making it work. But that’s better than not getting the picture done at all. From listening to everybody, they told me it couldn’t be done.”

He laughs, “They were right. I couldn’t do it.

#LQ Jones #a boy and his dog #Don Johnson

[madewithonerib]

World class answer to my doubts & fears, directly from GOD through the mouth of HIS chosen vessels:

Romans 8:30 | And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

Romans 9:23 | What if He did this to make the riches of His glory known to the vessels of His mercy, whom He prepared in advance for glory—

Romans 11:29 | For God's gifts and His call are irrevocable.

Hebrews 9:15 | Therefore Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, now that He has died to redeem them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant.

   “Now YOUR mercy has saved my soul”         _____________________________________________________________

RE: This was amazing! I feel free to tell GOD what a nut-job I truly am, so HE       can begin to work on each of my insecurities.

      Much like Elijah, I couldn't admit the source of my anger/exhaustion because       the Bible clearly states: Do not fear, like all the time; so much so I assumed       it meant if we fear we have no faith & we're dead.

      I've been gripped with fear of being rejected by GOD & going to hell -- I could       not risk being honest about my doubts, confusions and questions.                _________________________________________________________________

1.] You know what depression does?

     It makes us keep telling ourselves mistruths that we end up believing.      Our emotions can speak so loudly we start not only listening, we start      learning that which is NOT TRUE.

Elijah was not the only one left.

It was not the nation that sought his life, but only one queen whose prophets he has just slaughtered.

    The Lord asked, “why are you here?” which implies     he is not where God wants him.

Yet Elijah’s reply is the rehearsed “I have been very jealous (zealous) for the Lord.”

This is not true & the wrong answer to the Lord’s question.

1a] EXCUSE: Instead of “I was afraid of Jezebel” Elijah answers with,       “I have been doing everything I should!”

    Herein lies one of the greatest causes of depression - a     sense of over-importance based on performance.

I know this is hard to hear, but you are not defined by what you accomplish in life.

Even what we accomplish is often a mixture of the fruits of other people’s work before us (See John 4:38).

        John 4:38 | I sent you to reap what you have not worked for; others         have done the hard work, & now you have taken up their labor.”

      Innate gifts inside us & the times and seasons in which we find ourselves.

      Most of all, everything we accomplish is the result of God’s grace       (See 1 Corinthians 15:10).

         1 Corinthians 15:10 | But by the grace of God I am what I am, & His          grace to me was not in vain. No, I worked harder than all of them—          yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.  

   Listen carefully, if you want to struggle with depression,    take the credit for all of your life’s work.        _____________________________________________________________

2.] A Crisis of Faith: led by times when prayers were left ‘un-answered.’ 43m      See the genius of discovering JESUS & what we know of HIM doesn’t always      make sense to us.

     It doesn’t always add-up to the way we think it ought to unfold, which can       sometimes result in a real crisis of faith.

James 4:1-3 | What causes conflicts & quarrels among you? Don’t they come from the passions at war w/in you? You crave what you do not have; you kill & covet, but are unable to obtain it. You quarrel & fight. You do not have, because you do not ask. And when you do ask, you do not receive, because you ask w/ wrong motives, that you may squander it on your pleasures.

Jeremiah 17:9 | The heart is deceitful above all things & beyond cure—who can understand it?

Romans 1:22-26 | Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools, & exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images of mortal man & birds & animals & reptiles. Therefore God gave them over in the desires of their hearts to impurity for the dishonoring of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, & worshiped & served the creature rather than the Creator, who is forever worthy of praise! Amen. For this reason God gave them over to dishonorable passions. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.   

     Ever wondered what it would be like to watch JESUS on a stake-out, as HE      interacts with a variety of people & circumstances to see what HE does? 47m

John 3:16-17 | For God so loved the world that He gave His one & only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

     In many ways that is what the 4 books of the Bible called the gospels are.      They are eye witness accounts of JESUS in this situation & that & another...      and it’s just fascinating to watch.

     Today in this episode of discovering the genius of JESUS, what I want us to      do is just watch a little bit of photage as we see JESUS engage with people      of all different levels of faith.

You’ll see some who aren’t deeply convinced about HIM yet,

Others who are a little bit further along,

Some who have a lot of doubts about HIM,

     And we just get to watch how HE responds to      people who have both faith & doubt.

2a] Let me give you the ending first: As we watch JESUS interacting with real       people with real problems with different levels of faith, here’s the conclusion       we’re going to come to & I think you’re going to agree w/ this conclusion.

      Crises of Faith Do Not Disqualify You From JESUS

      >> Having doubts never causes JESUS to turn HIS back on you.

      If you would join me on this stake out, until you reach the same conclusion:

2b] JESUS is moved by Crisis       (regardless of the level of faith of the one experiencing it) 48:40m

      JESUS is touched by our problems, regardless of how deep our faith

Matthew 8:5-6 | When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came & pleaded with Him, “Lord, my servant lies at home, paralyzed & in terrible agony.”

Matthew 8:23-25 | When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was engulfed by the waves; but Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went & woke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”

     They were professional fishermen: Can you imagine the argument that went       on? No you wake HIM! I’m not doing it!!

     In the end they turned to JESUS because they were so scared, not because      they had great faith.

2c] Next story, flip over to Mark 9:14-18, JESUS is coming back down from a       mountaintop spiritual retreat & they see a crowd at the bottom together with       the rest of the disciples that got left at the bottom.

      JESUS asks what’s going on?

Mark 9:17-18 | Someone in the crowd replied, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a spirit that makes him mute. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, & becomes rigid. I asked Your disciples to drive it out, but they were unable.”

Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” (v.21)

Father of child: “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” (v.22)

And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.” (v.23)

Immediately the father of the child cried out & said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (v.24)

Common thread in all these 3 stories? CRISIS (53:37m)

   Do you see it? It happens over & over again.    And here’s the point: Crisis comes to everyone, to you & to me.

And people in crisis often find they go to JESUS.

How does HE respond?

Do the really faithful ones get better treatment, & the other ones shunned away?

Do those with doubts get discarded?

   1.] We’ve got a Roman soldier & he’s not even of the Jewish faith, yet he’s got         remarkable faith.

   2.] Then you see JESUS’ disciples, who ought to have the most faith—they’re         closest to HIM—& they’ve hardly got any faith.

   3.] Finally we have a dad, who’s just so desperate that all he could say is,         "if you can help, please..” (tiny faith, mixed in with doubt).

     In other scenes if you don’t turn the camera off, & some of you have heard      the story in the NT: There’s one lady who’s just so desperate she doesn’t      even dare speak, she been sick for so long.

“If I can somehow just touch the hem of his garment.” [Matthew 9:21]

There’s blind men who hear JESUS is in the area, & they were calling out. [Matthew 9:27; Matthew 12:22; Matthew 20:30; Matthew 21:14]

Leapers who are not allowed to come close, shouting, “JESUS have mercy on us!” [Luke 17:11-19]

   Do you see it? HE’s moved every time!

   Let me put it this way:    You don’t need to deserve JESUS, you just need to need HIM.

   You don’t have to make yourself good enough for JESUS to help you.    You just need to be humble enough to ask for help.

it’s not about coming perfectly with all the right words, or right quota of faith, & your life all in order.

It’s just about coming at all; it’s why JESUS died.

A couple of weeks ago, I tried to call out to one of our apps that turns on the lights, it was a gift from our daughter. So I called: “Suri turn on lamp 2.″ Nothing. I tried it again, saying it louder, still no response. This time I thought, I better turn the t.v. down, so the ambient noise isn’t distracting her: “Suri! turn on lamp 2!!!” Nothing, maybe lamp 2 is burned out, “Suri! turn on lamp 1!!” Still nothing. Now I’m starting to get ticked: “SURI! You’re useless!!!! TURN ON LAMP 2!”

Absolutely nothing.

All of sudden it hits me, there I am yelling at Suri, the apps name is Google.

I’m just doing it all wrong, & so now filled with very contrite & humbly I whispered: “Hey Google, please turn on lamp 2.″ And there was light!

   That’s a lot of people’s theology, a lot of people think that JESUS is just like    that home app, & you gotta approach HIM in just the right way with just the    right terms with just the right formula & just the right amount of faith.

   You’ll never see that in the photage of JESUS.

   All you see is people desperate for JESUS & HIM always moved by the crisis.

The genius of JESUS is you just need to admit that you need HIM.

Come humbly to HIM.

   QUESTION: In whatever you are facing, have you come     to the end of yourself—to the place where you are    desperate for JESUS? If you do, you’ll discover    HE doesn’t turn HIS back on you.      _____________________________________________________________

3.] Both DOUBT & FAITH are magnified in Crisis & JESUS engages both. 59m

     Both move into the spotlight in life’s valley experiences.

     Most of us don’t live in a crisis of faith everyday.      But when the hard times comes, the dark moments, in the deep valleys      what you either believe or struggle to believe, it’s like a big magnifying glass      gets placed on us.

     Again JESUS responds, not just when that focus is on      our faith, but even when it’s on our doubts.

3a] Notice our same 3 stories again, notice the crisis.

In Matthew 8:5, in that era Rome had the power & Jews were subservient. This is not a level playing field, & this guy is a Roman army centurion, whereas JESUS is the son of a Jewish carpenter. Desperate times cause people to do desperate things. And so desperate, you’ve got a Roman coming to this young Jewish man urgently imploring HIM for help. Been there? So desperate that nothing else matters? Not your status/reputation/pride, nothing. JESUS responds: I haven’t seen this kind of faith anywhere & here I’ve got this Roman who’s come to ME. Then I just flip across in my Bible, here’s “What great faith” then I kept reading in my own personal time & I come across on the other side here (exactly across the page) the disciples in the boat & JESUS looked at them: “Oh you of little faith.” Great faith...little faith, side by side on the same page. JESUS doesn’t say: “OK you get what you want, & you guys Aww come on, you get a little wet first.” HE meets them both.

Then the dad with the son in Mark 9, you know I don’t ask you to memorize stuff very often, but I really encourage you to memorize 1 verse from that story. JESUS had said, “Everything is possible if you believe.” This is the dad, “I do believe, help my unbelief.” [Mark 9:24] 1:03:16 Faith & doubt in the same person, at the same time. I love that guy, no pretense, no bargaining—just gut wrenchingly honest in the face of crisis. JESUS I believe that’s why I came, this is my boy! But my faith is only this big. JESUS said, “that’s enough.” I believe, help my unbelief.

    Do you see how crisis exposes both your faith & your     doubts, and that it’s okay? Give them both to JESUS.

    HE’ll deal with it.

One other time in the NT, JESUS said, “If you faith is only as big as a mustard seed, I can work with that.” [Luke 17:6] “Just give it to ME.”

    I think the genius of JESUS is that     HE doesn't sent people away     because their faith doesn't measure up.

    >> JESUS embraces us all; HE engages them, then from the point of struggle           HE invites them to come on a journey—where their faith will           grow & flourish.

    These crisis can be incredibly formative for our faith—     regardless what level it’s currently at.

    “This is George again I just called about the burglars, (yes George I remember), I thought I should tell ya that you don’t have to be in a rush anymore because I just shot them. Says, “you come on over whenever you get here, they’ll be here, everything’s fine.” As you can imagine within moments police cars are swarming down, ambulance/swat team/cop cars, & they caught the burglars red handed. As they led them away, the Sargent comes up with a stern look on his face & said, “I thought you said you shot them.” With a smile on his face, George says, “I thought you said no one was available.”

To quote Henry Shaw: “Sometimes extreme circumstances, calls for extreme measures.”

Like causing a Roman soldier to ask a Jewish rabbi for help.

Like causing disciples to wake-up their mentor admitting to HIM that they’re scared in the face of a storm—even though they’re professional fishermen.

Like causing a dad to be so desperate that he puts his son on full public display—so that JESUS wouldn’t be able to miss him.

Church I don’t know what you’re facing today, I’ve openly shared what Arlene & I have been wrestling with & the crossroad we’re at making decisions for our life.

But the reality is that these forks in the road, these crisis moments, they tend to magnify both our faith & our doubt. And we’re all filled with what-if questions. What if this LORD? What if that doesn’t work? Both just come rushing to the surface.

If there’s one thing that you take away from this message, what I really want you to notice is: In the video photage of JESUS’ life:

The doubts that you have never disqualify you from HIM; HE will embrace you even if you offer HIM just a little seed faith. HE sees our doubts & our faith, and engages both.

I wonder how many of you, right here right now: You need to pray the same prayer that that dad prayed.

“JESUS, I believe, would YOU help my unbelief.” [Mark 9:24] Because I got a little bit of both going on.       _____________________________________________________________

   EXERCISE: Make 2 lists & offer them both to JESUS

      (a) areas of faith you'd like to affirm, (this is what I believe)       (b) areas of doubt you struggle with (this is what I’m confused about)

   I think you’ll discover, HE’s not going to turn HIS back on you.                    _________________________________________________________________

4.] JESUS always honours small steps 1:09:52      You don’t have to have life all figured out.      You don’t have to get to the end of the path.

     >> Just take a small step in the right direction, & you’ll find HIM moving      toward you every single time.

The Roman centurion just started with the humility to ask for help, & oh-man it grew to “Just say the word.” You see JESUS was Jewish & for HIM to enter the house of a Gentile would have meant that HE was ceremonially defiled. And this guy was saying, “I’m not going to do that to you JESUS.” >> Just say the word, I’m a soldier I know what commands are. You want to talk about great faith...

Then HIS disciples, they’re struggling. We’re quick to put these guys down—right after being close to JESUS for so long... I want you to notice where they were. They got in a boat to follow JESUS, & in the larger context, this was just after JESUS preached a sermon about the high cost of following HIM. And it’s that phrase that HE uses, “birds have nests, foxes have dens, but the Son of Man has no where to rest his head at night.” If you want to follow ME, you’re going to have to leave everything, father/mother/wife/children, it’s a huge cost if you want to follow ME. “Then HE got in the boat & HIS disciples followed HIM.” [Matthew 8:23] They were there, they had taken a step.

Then in Mark 9, this guy is one of my all time heroes. JESUS I brought YOU my son. All you parents in the room, is there anything more than can be said of that? I brought you my child, I trust you with the most precious thing in my life.. If you can, please help.. What do you mean “If I can?” Do you see this guy? One little step here, another little step.. Then the only prayer he can say is: I believe, but I still got doubts will YOU help me? AND it’s enough! JESUS took these small steps in each of these guys & HE met them.  And HE worked with them & took them beyond where they ever thought they would go.

LAST QUESTION for you to wrestle with: What’s my next small step?

   What have I been hanging on to on my own, that I need to    be able to trust JESUS with?

   I promise you, if you take a small step towards HIM, you’ll    discover that HE’s already moving towards you.

WHAT’S THE GENIUS OF JESUS: There are a lot of people on the borderlense of faith/belief. People who have a strong hunch there’s something real, but who have not yet found it realized in a meaningful way. They’re just dipping their toes into the sea of faith.

The genius of JESUS? HE meets us there.

#doubts & fears #Romans 8:30 #VIP #God's grace #we are predestined to good works #follow the trail of breadcrumbs #Mark 9:24 #James 4:1-3 #John 3:17

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: Dear Diary: why?

[Specific-Summary]:  They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking, 

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17)

(Note: Please check the general warnings and character list before continuing since some changes have been made and I don’t want to throw you off later on) 

Roman slung the scarf across his shoulders, “You think I should pack this?” he said, striking a pose, “You think it’s gonna be too hot for summer or?”

“You do look good in red...” Dmitri glanced up from his laptop, still typing, “And it’s better than your fifteen--separately bought-- white jeans.”

Roman flung a trench coat at his face. “Glass-fuckin houses babe, half your closet is black and boring--plus I like the white, ” he protested, “And don’t you think the red will be a bit too much with my hair?” he untucked his curls from underneath the scarf, smoothing the sides.

Dmitri laughed, “You’re the definition of a bit too much, Ro,” he said, “But if it means anything the reds been fading for a while now,”

“Wait really?” Roman picked up a hand mirror, angling it with a frown, “Dammit,” he said, “Virgil might still have some bleach left over, but I don’t want to kill my curl pattern like he did…”

“Then don’t redye it,” Dmitri shrugged, “You’ll look good regardless.”

Roman fluffed his hair, pouting in the mirror, “How good?”

Dmitri rolled his eyes, “Fishing early I see,” he said, pausing his typing to take a better look, “The red hair nice, but the brown will soften your features since there ’ll be less contrast.”

“I’dunno if I want to ‘soften my features though...It’d look cute, but...maybe if I cut my hair?” Roman tugged the scarf off, “.…people would take me more seriously.”

“Now why would you…” Dmitri paused, setting his laptop aside nodding, “Come over here, let me take a closer look.”

Roman eyed him warily.

“C’mon now, I’ve been dating you for what? A little over a year, Have a little faith,” Dmitri defended, “I’m not a snake tricking you into sinning,”

Roman crossed his arms, eyeing him up and down, “You’ve done it before--remember?”

“Oh that was fun and you know it, now c’ mere,” He offered a hand.

“It was,” Roman sighed, relenting and taking his hand. Dmitri tugged him to his knees, Roman making panicked noises as they bumped foreheads and he used Dmitri’s shoulders to steady himself, “Close enough?”

Dmitri tilted his head, “A bit closer.”

“Closer?” Roman’s lips barely brushed his.

“There we go--would you look at that,” Dmitri murmured, “A handsome prince if I’ve ever seen one…” Roman’s expression softened and Dmitri continued, “Whoever you’re trying to impress would be stupid not to take you seriously, especially with your anal work ethic--mmph,” Dmitri’s hands flew to Roman’s waist only slightly caught off guard as Roman closed the distance. The sloppy kiss eventually dissolved into Roman peppering Dmitri’s face between giggles.

“Either you’re rewarding me or you’re trying to distract...” Dmitri’s joke died off, eyes fluttering as Roman’s attention dipped lower, trailing his jaw, “Oh that’s...that’s nice…Your brother out?”

“Mhm,” Roman hummed contemplatively, before pulling back a bit, “ Yeah he is, but...I dunno I’m not really in the mood for that…Sorry..”

“You don’t need to apologize every time you know?” Dmitri leaned into Roman’s chest, feeling Roman’s hands nestle into his hair.

“It’s just so...weird.” He could hear the frown in Roman’s voice, “Is it weird? I’m going to be gone for a while too…Am I being a bad boyfriend?”

“You’re not weird, it's normal.”

“But--” Roman’s voice was quiet, “--- it’s not like you’re not attractive-- but--I dunno-- sometimes actually doing stuff like that is just...ugh I can’t even describe it.”

“The other guys might be horny bastards 24/7, but it’s perfectly normal for you Roman.” Dmitri said, “If you want to kiss we can kiss if you want to cuddle and talk we can do that too.”

“Talk’n’cuddle,” Roman mumbled and Dmitri smiled.

“So how are you feeling about the trip?”

“Oh, I’m absolutely horrified--” Roman easily spun into a rant,” I have to be holed up in that infested dung heap with that odorous rat with only my beautiful tia’s cooking as solace?” He sniffed appalled.

“Huh,” Dmitri snickered, “I’ve never heard that nickname for Virgil.”

“I’m not...talking about Virgil.”

---

R: XXX.notalink/rated:m/dontclickfortheloveofgod/dJDoJi90

Rem: WHAT THE FUCK ROMAN Rem: WHY WOULD YOU SEND THAT

L: Why the hell didn’t you read the link first

Rem: WHO THE FUCK READS Rem: GOD NEVER AGAIN

L: I highly doubt it's that bad

L:....I stand corrected

Rem: you clicked the link too didn’t you

L: In the name of science of course

Rem: ROMAN WHY DID YOU SEND THAT

R: ;)

Rem: EXPLAIN YOURSELF

R: ;) XXXX.notalink/rated:m/oopsididitagain/dskfJjfd9dsf3gds

L: That one is more weird than disgusting

Rem: WHY DO YOU KEEP CLICKING ON THEM

L: Why is Roman still sending them?

V: as much as i like smearing my brothers good name that isn’t roman

V: [Roman conked out on the couch, in a sweatshirt and shorts, drool pooling. Jpeg]

Rem: cute photo, 10/10 L: Agreed.

V: god both of you fuckin s t op i t s t o p s t o p

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/you filthylinkreaders/d3gds789jk

Rem: just bc you have issues with compliments doesn't mean roman does

L:Here we go again I guess...

V; roman doesnt have any fuckin boundaries

Rem: yes, yes he does Rem: they may be thin but he Does have them

V:sorry but he’s way too nice about it

Rem: weve more then established that me calling him cute is okay and i require the sustenance of doting on him okay? Like i get it ive pushed a bit too hard before but like im trying ok???

V: k k I i hit the breaks a bit too soon this 1 time but it’s ducking thin ass ice and I’m not above sending y’all to an icy tomb if you get gross. Roman may be a bastard but he’s still baby

L:Translation: He understands your reasoning and agrees he overreacted, but this won’t stop him from questioning our intents and calling out certain actions. Roman may be okay with joking around with stuff like that and being the center of attenuation, but he’s still self conscious and sensitive.

V:why must you add feelings and adult reasoning to everything

L: How dare you accuse me of having feelings

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/unicornhornsanddragontails/3nskjJ03 R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/specA-Z/54Kjjf9n R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/asliceofme/fljkl29mfJ

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/laughsinspanish/5Kjd8

Rem:ye feelings are gross so moving on

Rem: anyway who the fuck is this

V: the bastard

R: you can call me duke [video of Roman, Virgil, and Remus as toddlers, Virgil playing with blocks and listening to some music while in the background Remus follows Roman around.mp3] [image of Roman, Virgil, and Remus currently. jpeg]

V: the bastards name is remus

R: THE. DUKE.

V: FUCK. YOU.

Rem: why the shits have i never met them and why the FUCK does he look more like roman then you do virgil

V: i think it's bc rem doesnt cover up his freckles

V: but yeah my mom and tia had a falling out

R: more like my dad was an asshole

Rem: oh shit same

R: shitty dad squad hmu ;)

Pat: oh hey!!! Me too!!!!

V: yeah it was Not Fun and mom and mama refused to let us go back until tia got a divorce

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/deodarant/298jksf

R:XXXX.notalink/rated:m/sPicydeodarant/23kjfJ

L: Are you done yet? They’re getting repetitive at this point.

---

Sun beating on his forehead, Dmitri’s chest was light and airy. His hair was tied up in a high ponytail as he worked on repotting some of his nursery plants. Usually, he’d be listening to music, but his aunt had left early that morning for some appointment so he relished the silence.

Brushing the dirt from his hands, he winced at the fresh cuts lining his knuckles.

“You’re still out here?”

Dmitri almost jumped at Dr. Montag’s voice, “Sorry for the mess” he said, gripping the nursery pot tighter, “I-I’ll clean it up right away…”

Dr. Montag crouched, waving him off, “There’s no need. I’m running a few errands for your aunt,” his hands barely brushing the leaves of one, “This is a Yucca right?”

“Uh,” Dmitri blinked, “Yeah it is,”

He laughed, “Don’t look so surprised-- I know things,” he stood back up, “Like how to use google. It’s rather impressive that y’all manage to keep up with so many of these.”

“Barely,” Dmitri relaxed, refocusing, “We used to have a lot more, but without my dad...it got overwhelming,” he shook his head, “It’s the only thing we really….It keeps us busy..”

“This is more than busy--you put a lot of work into these, anyone should be proud,” He murmured, studying Dmitri again, “I’ll be gone in a few, just need to grab her purse. You need anything from the store?”

“Uh...No,” Dmitri frowned, “I don’t.”

---

LilRed: COLLEGE BOARD CAN SUCK MY ASS LilRed: THIS BITCH GOT A FIVE

BlueRanger: Which class?

LilRed: APUSH

BlueRanger: Nice, good job

LilRed:

LilRed:

PurpleRain: L you fuckin broke him

PurpleRain:like I legit just heard a fuckin thud I think he fell

BlueRanger: I just told him good job?

LilRed: i die from validation i die w/o validation

BlueRanger: Please don’t die

PurpleRain: thats a lame ass way to die

LilRed: @purplebitch i feel so loved

PurpleRain: mama didnt raise us for us to die so b o r i n g l y

LilRed: SO HOW DO YOU SUGGEST I DIE

PurpleRain: idk im feelin,,,,rain,,,,,lots of it,,, maybe you’re watching the sea,,,,

PurpleRain: okay I got it

PurpleRain: you’re wearing a white sundress, the ends tattered but well loved. The coast empty with nly the lapping of waves your company. You’re thinking, a lot. Not of anything particular, but thinking nonetheless. The ocean always makes you think, always makes you remember--bringing about a bittersweet tinge of remorse to your heart, but no tears ever fall.

PurpleRain:You make it a habbit to watch the sunrise each day, relishing in the sobering feelings it invokes Maybe you're a masochist at heart

LilRed:maybe it’s maybelline

PurpleRain:I AM HAVING A MOMENT PRINCEY

PurpleRain: one day, you hear footsteps approach, and assume it's your lover returned from war. The news of it's end just coming days prior and making your ventures to the coast sparked with an unfamilar hopefulness.

PurpleRain: instead when you turn around, you do not feel your heart soar. Instead it sinks. An icy panic spreading through you, a curl of dread closing your throat, it's grip tight. You need to move; to get away from them. But you cant. You cant.

PurpleRain: one shot is all it took.

PurpleRain: one.

BlueRanger:....Concern.

PurpleRain: dnd just started again im prepping ok

LilRed:fuckin nerd

LilRed: huh…. i should get a sundress tho

PurpleRain: i have a few bookmarked ill show you later

BlueRanger: Is That Really What Y’all Are Taking Away From This

---

“And so the shop explodes-no not explodes it's in flames and they have the audacity--the au,” Roman coughs readjusting the webcam, “They have the audacity to play ‘Somebody to love’ as he’s fuckin mourning,” he gestured angrily, “Like Neil might as well come into my house and stomp on my heart.”

Dmitri nodded along, amused at the combination of camera lag and Roman’s erratic movements, “Before or after you watch the next episode?” he asked.

“It’s gonna have to be after cause I already finished the season. I never recovered from that scene though, ” Roman shrugged, tapping his jaw thoughtfully, “Probably should’ve started working on my commission sheet,”

“The same sheet you said you were going to start last month?”

“Yes the same one,” Roman blew out an exasperated huff, flopping into his hands, “I don’t know why it’s so hard --I feel scummy for pricing ‘too high’ and like shit for pricing ‘too lo--,” A notification rang, and he glanced over the screen, eyebrow raised, “Huh, Lo’s callin’ to video chat, you mind if I add’em?”

“Nah, go ahead,” Dmitri said, starting to fold the pile of towels.

“Alrighty,” He answered the call, “What’s up ner-” his face lit up, “Princess!”

Giggles erupted from the screen and Dmitri glanced up curious. On the screen instead of Logan was a small girl animatedly talking to Roman. She had two front teeth missing, glitter coloring her cheeks and rainbow beads rattling each time her braids moved.

“Woah, Woah-Woah,” Roman snorted, “Slow down hon, where’s your brother? Does he know you’re using his computer?”

“He’s in the shower,” she said, batting her eyes, “And know is a very strong word, but I can assure you he’s...aware?”

“Mmm, I won’t tell if you don’t,” he said, “So what’s the fairest of the land need?”

She beamed, “You at my birthday party.” she said, more of a command than anything.

Roman made of show of mulling it over, unable to keep a straight face, “I think I can make it.”

Her fist punched the air, “Ya--”

“Nieve,” Logan’s voice called out sternly.

Her eyes shot wide and she scrambled out of frame. Seconds later, Logan reappeared in the frame without his glasses, towel tucked to his chest. He didn’t look particularly mad.

He squinted blearily at the screen, “Roman? “ his gaze slid over, “Dmitri? Shit sorry did she bug you?”

“Not at all,” Roman reassured, “It’s been a while since I came over anyway,”

Logan grabbed their glasses, adjusting the frames, “Yeah...I guess it has...Since you’re here did you get that email from the school?”

“Yeah, it’s bullshit, “ Roman said, rolling his eyes, “If the state cared they would have found the funds somewhere else, it’s all shady as fuck. ”

Logan nodded, saying goodnight before disconnecting.

As soon as his icon disappeared, Roman said, “Huh, that...reminded me,”

Dmitri started on the next pile of laundry, “Of what?” he said, brow pinched, concerned.

“I’ dunno something Remy brought up…” Roman said, playing with his hands, “It’s stupid really but---”

He yelped falling to the floor, Remus victoriously sliding into the rolling chair. He spun wildly, the web camera a laggy blur, with only loud obnoxious kissing noises heard amongst the screaming.

Eventually, Remus slowed down, and it was jarring how much he and Roman looked alike. It was more unnerving seeing such a sleazy look with Roman’s face.

“Oh Dmitri,” Remus mocked, even adopting the heavy accent Roman usually placed on his name, “Embrace me with those big, long artist hands of yours, god I’m going to melt--"

“Shut up--shut up! You Rat-- give it back-give it back--” Roman whined, clambering over the chair, elbowing him, “Give it back, fuckin- MOM,” At one point Roman managed to wrestle the laptop from Remus, kicking him out of the chair and sending him off with a finger-- which Remus promptly returned.

Dmitri’s silently wheezed as Roman turned around visibly frazzled, “God I forgot what I was say-Are you laughing at me?” he said, “Stop it--stop laughing it’s not--”

“It-” Dmitri’s covered his mouth, shoulders shaking “It kinda is,” He said between snorts, only laughing harder at the offended noises Roman made.

As his snickers died down, Roman crossed his arms, “You done yet?” he sniffed.

“Yeah…” he gasped, “Yea...h... I am…” he blinked a bit, a slow smile spreading across his face, “So... what’s this about my hands?”

Roman’s eyes shot wide, incoherent babbling coming from his mouth as his ears turned a bright cherry. He slowly shrank out of frame to promptly die.

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

#Roman Sanders #Deceit Sanders #roceit #sanders sides #ts sides #ts logan #ts virgil #ts remus #ts remy #ts patton #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfiction #Antithesis

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #109 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. No.

Format: DVD

1) The early 2000s have a lot of truly underrated gems, especially from Disney. Along with The Emperor’s New Groove and Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire is probably one of the most underrated and overlooked films in their catalogue. Which is a true shame because it is such a great film.

2) This film opens with the city of Atlantis being washed away by a great flood, but if there was originally an alternate opening featuring vikings with the Shepard’s Journal in search of the fabled city. I prefer the opening we have, but you can watch the viking prologue if you want.

3) Michael J. Fox as Milo Thatch.

I saw this movie when it first came out in June of 2001. I fell in love with Back to the Future in February of 2009. So when I realized Marty McFly and Milo Thatch were one in the same my love for this film only grew. Fox brings a sincere enthusiasm to Milo, and like with the best voice acting you forget that you’re listening to Michael J. Fox. He BECOMES Milo, the guy who has to deal with everyone doubting him while still clinging true to his beliefs. It is a great character supported by an incredible actor.

4) There is a nice juxtaposition between how Helga sets up Mr. Whitmore (“Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Much.”) and the quirky little nut Mr. Whitmore actually is.

An enigmatic man who I would’ve liked to know more of, Whitmore is a little eccentric but comes off as a good hearted man. His relationship with Milo’s grandfather seems to be the defining thing in his life, so much so that he’s funding a multi-million (1914 million) dollar expedition to find a myth. John Mahoney (best known for the role of Frasier’s father on Frasier) gives a strong performance in his little bit of time, but this film is filled with strong voice over performances so it is no wonder his stacks up.

5) This line was improvised by Michael J. Fox:

Milo [after he throws up from being seasick]: “Carrots. Why is it always carrots? I didn’t even have carrots!”

6) Animated films tend to be short and with the added benefit of exaggeration need to establish personalities of supporting characters IMMEDIATELY. This is very true of the expedition’s crew. This starts with Jim Varney as Cookie, a hillbilly type who fits Varney’s comedic styling very nicely. Varney passed away before filming was complete, leaving some lines to have a stand in, but his life is in Cookie all the way.

Helga: “The men need their four basic food groups.”

Cookie [holding up three fingers]: “I’ve got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whiskey, & lard!”

7) Oh my god Vinny.

Every line out of Vinny’s mouth is glorious! Voiced by Don Novello, Novello makes Vinny his own in the same way that James Woods made Hades his own in Hercules. I saw a behind the scenes featurette for this film way back when that said Novello improv-d a lot of lines and most of them are included in the film. Vinny is hysterical, with his penchant for blowing things up and dead pan delivery. The crew is made up of a bunch of great individuals & Vinny is no exception.

8) Rourke...

Rourke is the captain of the expedition and - after the film’s twist - turns out to be the main villain. Voiced by James Garner, Rourke is honestly at his most interesting towards the end when he can be a ruthless bad guy. Up until that point he’s a pretty good commander and seems like an honest man. But looks can be deceiving.

9) There are so many jokes you don’t get in these movies when you were a kid (just wait until I do Shrek). For example:

Mole [about his dirt from different countries]: “England must never merge with France!”

10) Although Vinny is awesome, there’s a good chance that Sweets is my favorite crew member in the film.

He’s fast talking, genuinely kind, a good doctor, and when the crew needs to start acting like bad guys he’s the first to abandon Rourke and his selfish quest (although much more quietly than the other characters). Phil Morris - like the other actors - breathes such life and personality into Sweets that you don’t even question that he’s real.

11) I love the wit in this film.

Sweets [presenting Milo with the vials presented above]: “Here, I’m going to need you to fill these up.”

Milo: “WITH WHAT!?”

12) And to round out the crew, Audrey.

Like most of the crew, we learn more about Audrey in a pivotal scene later. But when we first meet her she’s already impressive. Just a teenager, Audrey is the head engineer on the expedition and tough as nails. She knows her shit and is tough as hell, but that’s not why she’s awesome. Well, that’s not the ONLY reason she’s awesome. But more on that later.

13) The Leviathan.

Mike Mignola, the creator and artist behind the character Hellboy, is credited as a production designer on this film. Nowhere is his influence more clearly scene than the leviathan, the mechanical sea beast meant to defend the entrance to Atlantis. It is an impressive feat of imagination and animation, a creature which is truly menacing in both size and design. The leviathan and its attack on the submarine crew could quite well be the best part of this film.

13.5) Why does a science expedition have battle stations? I mean, now we know because they’re mercenaries. But did this not raise any red flags?

14) God bless Packard. I’m not even sure what her role on the ship is besides announcer, but god bless her.

15) The pivotal scene for so many of these characters in this film is when Milo eats with them for the first time and we get their backstory.

Sweets’ of mixed descent, part black part Native American (I believe he said he’s Navajo). He studied to be a doctor when he got enlisted in the army.

Audrey’s father wanted sons, one to run his auto shop and another to become world boxing champion. Her sister has a shot at the title.

Vinny’s family owned a flower shop and when the business next door blew up, “It was like a sign from god! I found myself in that ‘boom.’”

And then of course we get this line.

Milo: “What’s Mole’s story?”

Sweets: “Trust me on this one. You don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell him. You shouldn't have told me, but you did. And now I'm tellin' you, you don’t wanna know.”

You see THIS is what fleshes out these characters. Its this one scene which makes them more than jokes or stereotypes or archetypes, but real people. We get their conflict, their history. We learn of Audrey’s family, of Vinny’s boredom with flowers, or Sweets’ history in the army. THIS is what makes the film standout in the way it does.

16) Kida.

It’s too bad Atlantis didn’t do too well at the box-office, otherwise Kida might take her place among the official Disney Princess line. Along the same lines as Mulan, Kida is a warrior princess. A woman who can kick ass but also loves her father and her people very dearly. Cree Summer is an accomplished actress in the voice over world, with Kida possibly being one of her finest roles. Kida is tough but never mean, curious but never overbearing, capable but able to form a meaningful relationship with Milo (while also not being too over the top lovey dovey), and just an all around great character.

17) Hey look, its Spock!

Leonard Nimoy has had a number of voice over roles, particularly in the 21st century. Its nice hearing him in this, even if we don’t get to spend too much time with the king.

18) So you know the trope of a 100+ year old vampire forming a slightly weird relationship with a much younger woman?

Well...

19) The betrayal of the crew wouldn’t have hurt nearly as much as it does if it weren’t for the scene where we get all their backstories.

Notably we don’t get the backstories of the two most evil characters in the film: Rourke & Helga. This is when Rourke becomes REALLY interesting and when James Garner has a lot of fun as the bad guy. He’s a brute! A bully! He’s ruthless, pretty much kills the king, beats on Milo when he’s down, all while cracking a jock and flexing his impressive muscles for a 60+ year old man. Rourke doesn’t get enough credit as a Disney bad guy in my opinion.

20) I love this.

Milo [after Rourke asks him to translate better]: “I know, why don’t you translate AND I’LL WAVE THE GUN AROUND!”

I live for heroes telling bad guys who are “in control” to f*** off.

21) The entire crystal chamber scene is just absolutely gorgeous. The early 2000s were noteworthy for frequent mingling of hand drawn and computer animation, with Atlantis being one of the finest examples of it.

Also this shot is gorgeous:

22) I never got this line.

Rourke (after his crew decide to stick with Milo & the Atlanteans): “PT Barnum was right.”

Only now do I know one of Barnum's famous quotes is, "There's a sucker born every minute." And I had to google it.

22.5) Fun fact: Joss Whedon worked on the story for this film! For you Whedonites out there, doesn’t “PT Barnum was right.” sound like a very Whedon-y line?

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

23) Okay, as a child and even now I was OBSESSED with crystalized Rourke.

Like that image is just very memorable to me, especially after Rourke was supposedly killed by being encased in crystal. It’s too bad we only got a minute or so of it before the airship crashed, but damn that’s just the coolest thing to me. If there are any Kingdom Hearts fans reading this, imagine this: A Rourke boss fight, where after you beat him the first time you have to fight his crystal form and its an even tougher fight.

24) And of course Milo stays in Atlantis at the end, because it is what he and his grandfather sent their entire lives searching for. What would be the point of returning to the surface where either A) no one will believe him, or B) people will believe him and try to take advantage of this culture they found? It’s a great ending which makes a lot of sense.

I love Atlantis. It’s one of my favorite Disney films, but it maybe wouldn’t be if it weren’t so underrated. If you’re a fan of action, adventure, Disney, animation, or heck, even Stargate, I think you’ll enjoy this film.

#Atlantis #Atlantis The Lost Empire #Michael J Fox #Cree Summer #Disney #Movie #Film #Epic Movie (Re)Watch

[homedevises]

16 Things To Know About Describe The Garden Of Eden | describe the garden of eden

The awful allegorical angels of Church teaching and acceptance accord us a clue to the acceptation of that abounding absoluteness that the Creed refers to with its “things arresting and invisible.” But bodies accept taken angels actually and the aftereffect is that angels no best claiming us with the abstruseness of one reality. We too calmly brainstorm another, airy apple back this one seems too abundant for us. We’ve calm angels into capacity for country western songs.

Was the Snake in the Garden of Eden Satan | HuffPost – describe the garden of eden | describe the garden of eden

Our angel acceptance are actual acclimatized compared to the ones you acquisition in the Bible or in the Church’s consecutive traditions. In the Bible’s aboriginal book you acquisition angels that beachcomber a ablaze brand at the access to the Garden of Eden. Addition angel wrestles with Jacob and dislocates his hip. In the aftermost book angels are answerable with antibacterial the apple and the heavens. In added acceptance angels generally alarm the bodies to whom they appear. And these are acceptable angels!

The aboriginal adventure with bad angels, or devils, that I abstruse was about a war in heaven:

Lucifer was the best admirable of God’s angels. This was afore there was a universe. Angels had the assignment and joy of absorption God’s advantage and beauty, but Lucifer wasn’t agreeable with that role. The best admirable of God’s conception so far, he capital the celebrity to be his own. So he rebelled.

Michael the Archangel led a host of loyal angels adjoin Lucifer and his agreeing minions and collection them out of heaven. They were affected to accomplish their home in the ablaze base of hell. From there they accept been authoritative sorties into our apple anytime back it was created. They try to about-face us additionally abroad from God and get us to serve and acclaim them. Guardian angels and, occasionally, archangels arbitrate in the apple for our abundance and to backpack out God’s will.

Having developed up with this story, I reacted with atheism the aboriginal time addition told me that it’s not in the Bible. Searching the Bible for myself, I begin agnate acceptance but annihilation absolutely the same. The Book of Revelation tells about a war in heaven alright. But alike if you booty this adventure literally, it couldn’t be about the agent of devils. This adventure takes abode in the abroad future. Isaiah 14 and Ezekiel 28 anniversary call what may assume to be the abatement of a adorable being, but the ambience makes it bright that the descriptions are about, respectively, the baron of Babylon and the baron of Tyre.

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The Second Book of Peter (2:4) and Jude (6) acquaint about angels who sinned and were beatific to Tartarus or apprenticed in chains. That may accredit to the adventure in Genesis (6:1-4) about the agent of the Nephilim. The “sons of heaven” took the daughters of men for wives and begot these “heroes of old.” The adventure is so odd as to be about absurd to interpret. It seems to accept started out as a bit of Pagan acceptance that fabricated it into the Bible.

I’m apprehensive of acceptance about adventures and misadventures in heaven. The one God didn’t actualize two worlds or address two stories. Our ancestors in faith, the Jews, came to accept in one God by owning one adventure that connects all of history and world. It meant the adamantine ability that, alike back bound in Babylon, they were allotment of Yahweh’s story, and Yahweh was backbreaking them. Their enemies were appropriately in Yahweh’s story, not the protagonists of addition adventure with some other, added able God.

As I see it, acceptance in one God does not fit able-bodied with acceptance in two absolute stories, whether they are about altered kingdoms on apple or about one adorable and one carnal kingdom. God has a distinct story, not one for angels and one for people. Karl Rahner, I believe, has the aforementioned anticipation about angels and the world:

Their affiliation to the world, which is both actual and spiritual, charge be anticipation of in such a way that they are absolutely accepted to be “principalities and powers” of the creation in advantage of their actual nature…. (My emphasis. Passage is from Rahner’s A Concise Encyclopedia of Theology, pp 11-13, quoted by Chrystal on her blog alleged “Perspective: Thoughts of a Catholic convert.” (https://ift.tt/1NpbfMF)

Angels don’t accord to addition apple with a adventure altered from ours. There aren’t two acceptance that blow anniversary added in a few, or alike many, places. Rahner’s abstraction of angels as “principalities and powers” of the creation is account advancing further.

Did You Know … The Serpent of Genesis is NOT a Snake … – describe the garden of eden | describe the garden of eden

For St. Paul angels—and demons too—are creatures actual abundant complex in this world. Later Christian traditions envisioned angels in nine choirs, a account that draws on added than the Bible. These angels attending a lot like some Pagan gods of the accustomed and animal world.

The afterward table compares Greek or Roman fabulous beings with Christian adorable choirs. The descriptions of the adorable choirs are from Wikipedia and Catholic Online:

 Mythological beings

Karl Rahner tells us not to booty these choirs of angels literally. Still, I rather like them. They accurate how carefully accompanying angels are to the actual world. All of them are acceptable creations of God. Mythology aside, they accurate the actuality that the creation makes faculty and supports life. And they chronicle to added facts afterpiece to home – that language, history, and communities from baby to abundant accomplish us what we are.

In the aftermost column I affiliated angels, bad angels that is, with patterns, structures, systems, institutions, ideologies, means of cerebration and application language, and roles in animal society. These beyond than activity realities accept ability over us. We accept fabricated them, but we alive central them. From them appear attitudes, habits of action, and means of cerebration that are about automatic. Like the air we breathe, we don’t apprehension their presence. A devil whispering temptations in the ear could not be added attenuate than these. They are the acumen why abounding aloof things are done and said, after alive it, by ordinary, admiring people.

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But these too are amid God’s acceptable creations. We couldn’t alive after them. That they can additionally be annihilative of animal abundance is a amount of accepted experience. How does that happen? How do these larger-than-life realities about-face from acceptable to evil? What does the Bible say?

The abutting column will about-face to the anticipation of Walter Wink, a Methodist Bible academic and activist in non-violent attrition movements. He has fabricated a absolute abstraction of the New Testament’s accent about the powers. Like Paul, has a lot to say about bad angels. They are “the admiral that be.” We charge to name them, and the New Testament helps us do that. In today’s political and bread-and-butter environment, we charge generally to abide them.

Wink’s analysis, abnormally of the cancerous armament all-knowing institutions and customs, is helpful. In the end, though, Wink’s angels assume to depend too abundant on animal creations for their abode places. Eventually, I will accept to attending about abroad for a added complete appearance of angels.

Image credit: Thoughtco via Google Images

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The Bible's Odd Silence On Necrophillia

Check your Bible concordance for the word “necrophilia.” Or grab your electronic Bible and do a word search for it. Or try a Google search instead (now clear your browser search history or you’ll have some explaining to do).

 If you actually did any of the searches suggested above you know that "necrophilia"-- the act of having sexual relations with a dead body -- is never explicitly mentioned or suggested in the Bible. There is neither laws prohibiting it, nor a narrative which portrays such behavior in a negative light (e.g. a necrophiliac as a villain).

We should probably state at this juncture that we are not advocating the practice of diddling dead bodies. Repeat: we are not saying you should get down with the departed. No horizontal dancing with the deceased. You shouldn’t make the beast with two back with the bereft.

So why address this at all? Why write about the Bible’s silence on the topic of exerting perspiration with the expired?

The Silence is Weirder than you Think

This card began as an expression of a biblical oddity: it was a weird fact that fit perfectly with our game. However, this evolved into a conversation between we creators of the game, which spilled over into discussions with other clergy while designing this game. The question kept coming up: Why would the Bible not have any mention of people out of breath with the breathless?

Think about the other things the Bible takes the time and pains to pass down through the millennia:

Cutting off the hand of a woman who grabs the penis of the man her husband is fighting.

What to do when wet dreams occur on the battlefield

Instructions for the use of special shit digging tools

Prohibitions against cooking a young goat in its mother's milk

Rules for when it is and is not appropriate to pick up sticks

To say nothing of the fact that the Bible has no problem discussing inappropriate sexual contacts, including sex with your mother, step-mother, sister, half-sister, granddaughter, aunt, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, threesomes with relatives, sex with menstruating women, and/or some one else's wife. Oh, and animals. Yes, even bestiality is covered, but not dead bodies.

In other words, with all the things the Bible takes the time to specifically say "thou shalt not boff that!" one would think dead bodies would make the list. So why doesn't it?

One Common, Yet Unconvincing Answer

One of the most convincing answers we got from a pastor friend was that, unlike some of the examples above that need more explaining and cultural context, having a lusty libido for the lifeless does not need an explanation for it to be seen as wrong.

The argument is that necrophilia is taboo in the sociological sense: it naturally causes revulsion in people, so God would not need to specifically legislate that for people. In essence, the thought of copulation with a cadaver causes most people to vomit. Thus, no need to spell it out. People just naturally know it is wrong, and anyone who does have such desires is broken in some profound way. However, there are a few problems with this line of thinking.

First, an anthropological survey of the Ancient Near East (ANE) shows that the contemporary cultures had differing opinions about necrophilia. For example, the Hittites appeared to be just fine with the practice. And for those who would say, "well, the biblical writers hate the Hittites! They are the enemy, so what they do is evil! GRRRR!" this furthers the problem of the Bible's silence on licking desiccated skin. Most scholars agree that sundry laws in the Torah are in response to the practices of those around the ANE, especially the enemies of the Hebrews. That the Torah and much of the Hebrew Bible says, in essence "Don't do [X] because those people do [X]! Thus saith the Lord!" So if the Hittites (and perhaps others) enjoy kissing sloughing lips, one would expect the Bible to include that as a no-no from on High.

Furthermore, necrophilia being taboo would not by itself fully explain why the Bible would not address it. If there is a portion of the population that finds nothing wrong with practice, but it is still anathema in the community, something would have to be done to address the action.

This line of thinking is dangerous when it comes to biblical interpretation. Absence and/or silence does not mean prohibition. It could equally mean endorsement. Cats aren’t mentioned in the Bible either. Does that mean God hates cats? Since we know that cats are among the cutest, most intelligent, more wonderful animals that God put on this planet, that conclusion makes no sense. 

The point: speaking for God from silence is dangerous.

Biblical Answers Aren't Easy

So what can we glean from the Bible about coitus with those who have shuffled off this mortal coil? 

We are not the only ones who have attempted to answer this over the centuries. If you did engage in the Google search suggested above, you saw the number of pages dedicated to this question. Some more serious and scholarly than others. Some are <shiver>. . . what has been seen cannot be unseen. 

There are websites that list Bible verses some person or program thought relevant to necrophilia and the Bible. Some of these verses are a stretch, as they do not discuss necrophillia at all, but one could lump the act in with the other things described if they wanted. For example:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

and

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)

 Some of the verses cited require more creativity and imagination. Our favorites include the beginning and end of marriage as an explanation:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Matthew 22:30 - For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. (Matthew 22:30)

Presumably these work because the males and females were alive when God created them and all the sexing began, and after death there is no marriage, so the sexing should end [But if the Church is the "bride of Christ" . . . nevermind].

 Others, someone, or some algorithm, was dipping in the Communion/Eucharist wine when the pastor/priest/rev/minister/lay-church-lady-who-really-runs-the-whole-place wasn’t looking. Two of our favorites: 

The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. (Genesis 2:20)

This one is great because it acknowledges the theory that God showed Adam all of the animals before creating Eve so Adam could see his need for another human. However, there is a variant of this theology that says Adam had sex with all the animals to arrive at that conclusion [of course we have a card about that]. But how this relates to dead bodies exactly, we're not sure.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Maybe they...nope. Not going to touch that one. Nope. Nope. Nope. 

Our Humble Opinion

One of the best answers, which does require some biblical jujitsu, involves the impurity of dead bodies.

As explained in the wet dreams post mentioned above, there are a host of things that can make one unclean. Two of those things are relevant to this conversation: 

The the release of semen (Leviticus 15:16-18), and

Coming in contact with a human corpse (Numbers 5:2b; 19:11 ).

Obviously, both are required for necrophilia to take place. Well, both if you're male and can release seamen. As usual, the patriarchal nature of the Torah means that these words were written with men in mind; However, the application applies generally as well. If you're male, necrophilia requires a double impurity. If you're female, only one. 

In short, necrophilia requires one to become ritually impure, so getting a stiffy for a stiff is bad.

So why care about any of this?

Perhaps this is nothing more than a mental exercise in biblical ethics. We're Bible nerds: we like this stuff. 

Perhaps that's why you're here reading this all the way to the end.

Perhaps you're here because this post ultimately raises the issue of what is/is not codified in a Holy text and why; the rationales behind the commandments you adhere to and/or question.

Perhaps you're here because you have dreams of fornicating with dead flesh. If so, perhaps you should be seriously concerned about that.

 But what do we know: we made this game and you probably think we're going to Hell. 

#Necrophillia #Bible #Warnings #Law #Clean and unclean #Sexy #Dead bodies #c

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Title: What you wish for

Author: Gina Wynn

Genre: Romantic, Woman Fiction

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When Maggie Forrester wakes up naked in bed with her boss, iceman Will Brian, she's sure it must be a dream. Or a feverish hallucination at the very least. But magic takes over when she begins to experience an impossible other life—complete with an alternate husband—and she's forced to confront the reality of the man she loves versus the man she's fallen in love with.

After secrets she believed long buried surface, both of Maggie's realities are threatened. As the truth of her past comes to light, she must decide which man she truly loves and which life she wants to live—if the choice is even hers to make. Sometimes, true love is even worth wishing for.

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Chapter 1 Part 1

His knee rested against the back of my leg. A possessive arm wrapped over my waist, and a forehead nestled against my hair. Jake must have arrived home earlier than he expected from the stag weekend and melded to me during the night. We lay skin against skin, and I relaxed into his hold as warmth and familiarity seeped from him. The bubble of safety only my husband could provide surrounded me.

A smile tugged the corner of my lips as naughty thoughts of pleasure yet-to- come flashed through my head. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes as I wriggled around to return his hug, being sure to inject enough movement to bounce him awake. His chest rose and fell against my cheek with his every breath, and his heartbeat thudded in my ear. Home was where that heart was.

“Good morning, Maggie.” His melted chocolate voice, still drowsy with sleep, tickled my neck.

Not Jake.

Panic jolted me as my eyes flew open, and I launched over the side of the bed, failing in my attempt to look away as I did so. With the long glance I took by mistake, I’d require brain bleach to scrub him from my mind. I huddled out of his line of sight with my stare—strong enough to have burnt a hole through the man—firmly fixed on unfamiliar carpet.

Bloody hell. My boss. All of him. In the bed I’d exited at warp speed.

I risked another quick glance in his direction. He lay propped on his side, dark hair tousled, smiling at me in a new lazy way. Bloody, bloody hell. I repeat, my boss. My boss, Will Brian.

Never Will Brian, always Mr. Brian. I corrected myself to the office formality he insisted on as I tried to look at him without seeing anything but his face. Holy chest skin, Batman. Well-defined muscular temptation in flesh form. Mr. Brian with really sexy bedhead. Bloody hell, again.

The horror crawling through me shut down all rational thought, narrowing my entire focus to the bedroom. His bedroom?

One room. Me. Him.

Nothing else.

The devil had woken up with frostbite. It was the only possible explanation to my world going mad. I inhaled a shaky breath, my brain stuck on one thought. Mr. Brian. Surely, I harboured zero attraction to him? Especially as he favoured issuing orders to me in a snappy coffee-breath voice in our usual day-to-day routine. Waking in his arms was quite the quantum leap from our normal yes, Mr. Brian, of course, Mr. Brian, I’ll hold all your calls, Mr. Brian relationship.

I closed my eyes against the view, although it didn’t help me ignore him. His image had seared itself to the inside of my eyelids, and no girl wanted a permanent reminder of her boss.

Really. No attraction, whatsoever. None at all. Because I’d never noticed his tight, firm... Never mind. Or the way he walked as

I followed him along the corridor at work. Okay. So, I’d taken a non-existent—or maybe ever-so-slight—inappropriate boss fantasy right to sleeping in bed with the man. I’d come a long way.

I’d have said my wisdom was on the line, except ending up in his bed rated way worse than unwise. Spelling Mr. Brian as Mr. Brain on company documents was unwise—and stupid. Filing January invoices in December was unwise—and, according to Mr. Brian, worse than stupid. This...this verged on being very, very bad—and so much more than stupid. Unforgiveable, if I forced myself to be honest.

Note to self: Career suicide—never the way to ask for a pay increase.

“What, no ‘good morning, Will’?” He chuckled, and I didn’t know if my sudden goose bumps came from extreme lack of blankets or the unnervingly attractive sound of his amusement.

His laughter, somehow hauntingly familiar and comforting, wrapped me in unexpected safety. He never laughed at the office or, if he did, he went somewhere private to do it. Either way, he never seemed to find anything funny about working.

In our office.With me at his professional beck and call. The fact I relaxed a little in his presence must have been the result of my

aspirations to find my inner Zen one day. I channelled Yoda and did imaginary breathing exercises, then clamped down on my bubble of hysteria before it rose any

further up my throat. Relaxation, inner calm, and enlightenment? Not likely. I flashed a quick grimace, hoping to trigger the off-switch to my inner-monologue.

“Um. Hi...Will.” My voice came out part mumble, part squeak, as I crouched by the bed, still refusing to look at him as I referred to my always-formal boss by his first name in the most ridiculous of situations.

“Did I scare you?”

I dared a hasty glance, and he arched an eyebrow in amusement. Heat rushed through me, then cold horror as fresh awareness dawned. My buttocks rested on my calves as I squatted. My nipples hardened in the cool air as I huddled outside the covers. I was naked.

The situation couldn’t get worse.

Trying my best for nonchalance, I grasped the closest corner of the duvet and inched it towards me, intent on hiding as much flesh as possible. I released a slow, shallow breath as each fractional movement concealed more of my awkward form.

“Hey!” With laughter in his tone, he snagged the high thread-count covers back to his side of the bed. “You’re making me cold!”

I risked another peek over at him before searing afresh at his identical extreme lack of clothes. Naked...in bed. Oh God, naked in bed with my naked boss. No memory of getting there. And I’d started to grow cold again, too.

Note to self: Things could always get worse. Always.

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AUTHOR BIO

From a magical land of castles and kings (Okay, it’s England), Gina doesn’t feel as old as she looks, owns three children who can’t be tamed, and writes in spare – usually stolen – time. She sometimes bakes—not always with quite the desired results, and has found the only solution to keeping the characters in her head quiet is to placate them with lots of other lovely books and worlds. She has been published by Decadent Publishing, who currently have two of her books, both of which are romance titles – “Her Dollmaker’s Desire” and “Her Undercover Christmas”.

Social Media Links:

Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/ginawriteswords/

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Website: http://ginawriteswords.com/

Email: [email protected]

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