#Excoriation disorder

[antichrister]

having fun removing uneven textures on your skin will lead to more fun textures on your skin to remove :) but watch out (vicious cycle)

#personal #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #skin picking

[hannaxjo]

#oh really #why didnt i think about that before #skin picking #dermatillomania #skin-picking #excoriation disorder #excoriation #skin picker #meme #shitpost #vent

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

if you're one of those people who are like "oh my god im so ocd!!" and then you just like to be organized, shut the fuck up. literally shut the FUCK up. You have no fucking idea what its like. Its like being trapped in a mental prison. Its being called weird and ridiculed by my own family because i have to wash my hands between helpings of food or because i have to run out of the bathroom when i flush the toilet or because even when i smell something awful i have to breath through my nose instead of my mouth because if i breath through my mouth it feels like i can taste it. Its developing conditions that accompany it, like excoriation disorder which makes me dig into my nails so hard they're permanently fucked up and look ghastly and sometimes even bleed and which means i have scabs on my head all the fucking time because i pick at them constantly, or misophonia which makes me flinch at every trigger sound, it gets so bad to the point where i start hitting myself and had to move away from walls because i was sure i was going to bang my head against one. hard. It's having violent intrusive thoughts, sick intrusive thoughts, thoughts that make you stay up into all hours of the night and fret over whether you're a good person, thoughts that make you think about death all the time. your own death, death of loved ones, how people will die, how people will react to you dying. It's having morality ocd, which makes you hate yourself more than anything after any minor mess up. It changes your life. Its fucking hard to live with. so i never want to hear "oh I'm so ocd" from people who aren't actually ocd ever a-fucking-gain.

#the misophonia is so fucking bad today i am terrified i am going ti bang my head against the wall really hard #this post needed to be made #ocd #actually ocd #misophonia #morality ocd #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #skin picking disorder #intrusive thoughts #mental illness #mental illness awareness #awareness post #vent post #sheba lore

[sapphicsundial]

Butch covered in kisses x femme with dermatillomania 💋

#sapphicsundial #butchfemme art #butch #femme #femmelesbian #butchlesbian #femmebutch #butch4femme #femme4butch #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #ocd #sapphic #lesbian art #sapphic art #lesbian #butch art #femme art #digital painting #gay #gay art #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt art #queer #queer art #lgbtqia #angels #angelcore #lgbtq art

[waitingforthesunrise]

I love you people with dermotillamania. I love you people walking the weird blurry line between self harm and skin condition. I love you people with healing scabs and scars and bandaids. I love you people who get triggered by short sleeves and can’t explain it. I love you people who have to take deep breaths while wearing a tank top. I love you people with scars that look like stars and planets and stories written on your skin. I love you people with short nails and long elaborate nails. I love you people who are learning to find boundaries around triggers. I love you people who hide your infections and don’t believe their story is valid. I love you people who are caring for eachother in this community. I love you people who don’t trust their hands but are learning to trust their heart. You are valuable and loved and beautiful. I am kissing your forehead and wishing you joy

#Dermotillamania #excoriation disorder #tw bfrb #tw dermatillomania #ocd awareness #bfrb culture #bfrb awareness #living with ocd #ocd

[mentoillnesspolls]

According to the DSM, most people with excoriation disorder usually don't skin pick in front of others except for immediate family members, which was personally surprising to me since all my life I have skin picked in public. Wanted to see how applicable this was, so here's a poll!

#mentoillnesspoll #poll #excoriation disorder #skin picking disorder #skin picking #compulsion #ocd #dermatillomania

[hussyknee]

I'm so fucking mad.

Yesterday I took 50mg of Atomoxetine (Strattera) out of sheer frustration instead of my prescribed 30mg which was doing nothing.

And then...I was like "get up" and I would get up. "Go find the electricity bill" and went and found the electricity bill. "Sort through all the mail and organise it" and just. Fucking. Did it. No getting stuck for half an hour and spiralling in anxiety because my executive commands weren't going through.

I went to the hospital and begged those fuckers to increase my dosage and spent half an hour trying to convince them that this is clearly my ADHD symptoms being exacerbated by anxiety that's fucking me up. They refused, said "Oh, but anyone would find it difficult to function in your situation", and increased my Venlafaxine (Effexor) instead, although that fuckin plateaus any further than the dosage I already take. My primary doc knows this, but I have better luck catching Bigfoot than her at NHSL anymore so I keep having to tussle with the junior dipshits.

Granted I seem to have overshot a bit, because I spent a while vibrating into the fifth dimension. Felt like I'd had six cups of coffee and needed to do three things at once. Perhaps I should have attempted 40mg first. But 50mg very much did catapult me out of this neverending rut.

WEEKS OF BEING TRAPPED BY THE STATIC IN MY BRAIN LIKE A ROOMBA ON A RUG. I couldn't get out of bed, eat on time, shower, make my bed, do my laundry, go to bed. The simplest fucking tasks like pushing a boulder uphill with a stick. Sitting on the bed doomscrolling and tearing the soles of my feet into strips so bloody that it hurt to walk. I don't pick at my feet anymore! Didn't even realize I hadn't until the end of yesterday. This is the first time I've stopped in months. I stock up on band-aids and keep them next to my bed because I usually bleed in about three places within a day. And I pick the scabs off the still-healing wounds. All stopped by 20mg more of Strattera!!!

In other medication fuckery, I stopped the anti-inflammatory meds I was taking for my back because 1) the total cost of my meds was getting insane and 2) I haven't been in pain the last two months. I looked up whether there were side effects for long-term use of NSAIDs and found that using any of them with Venlafaxine increases the chance of gastrointestinal bleeding?? The way I've been having all this time?? Was my rheumatologist ever gonna tell me?? I'm just so used to flares, so fogged in my head and so relatively pain-free that I didn't especially note it. Turns out– the only reason I haven't been in pain is because I was taking the fucking anti-inflammatories. Imagine that! So I can either take Venlafaxine (which I cherish like a child regardless of the wrath-of-God withdrawal any time I miss a single dose) or I can take NSAIDs??

*googles anti-inflammatory meds other than NSAIDs*

Internet: "eat pineapple idk. have you tried tumeric?"

I hate my life.

#medication woes #life update #cw skin picking #excoriation disorder #actually ADHD #ableism #medical gaslighting #adhd meds #atomoxetine #nsaids #ulcerative colitis #chronic illness #spoonie #disability #effexor #inflammatory bowel disease #knee of huss #fuck my life

[scrupulosity-et-al]

people with trichotillomania aren’t ugly for having bald spots, short or missing eyelashes, or patchy eyebrows.

people with excoriation disorder aren’t ugly for having scars, scabs, and uneven skin.

people with BFRBs aren’t ugly for walking around with evidence of their mental illness on their body — rough skin, short nails, and scars of all kinds are not ugly

y’all are great just the way you are, and I hope you’re not feeling too self-conscious at the moment. you deserve to feel valued regardless of the visible signs of your mental illness

#bfrbs #body focused repetitive behavior #tw bfrb #trichotillomania #excoriation disorder

[antichrister]

anyone reading this if you have excoriation disorder/dermatillomania (objectively both cool names for it) i love you. 🥺 if you haven't picked in months/years, have scars over it, struggle to resist the urge or still have multiple daily picking sessions every day, if you pick your arms or legs or face or scalp (or if you're like me and nowhere is safe from the picking) you are so cool and i think we should not have to be self conscious about it

#personal #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #compulsive skin picking

[bookwyrminspiration]

splashing cold water on my face like it'll magically undo the redness and indents of 20 minutes straight picking

#dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #skin picking #like bbg no you are still very much irritated and marked up <3 #the water did not change anything <3 #it is hiding nothing <3

[plastic-flowerx]

EXCORIATION HAND

April 2024

Cast silicone, acrylic paint, human hair

Artist statement/reflection under the cut

TW: skin picking, self-injurious behavior

My newest piece for my mold making class. This piece is about dermatillomania (or excoriation disorder), a compulsive skin picking disorder. I’ve experienced dermatillomania since I was a kid, it’s waxed and waned throughout my life as I’ve tried over and over again to stop, but I always get pulled back into the habit when life gets stressful and I crave the physical comfort of carving away at my own skin with my fingernails. It’s strange that this self-injurious behavior provides such a comfort, isn’t it?

I’ve felt so much shame about this habit. I remember being a kid and wondering what was wrong with me, if I was the only person in the world who did this. To present this work for critique in class today was to directly engage with the shame and guilt I feel about this compulsion. I have tried to hide it for so long, but today I spoke about it openly in front of my peers. It felt good to face the shame head on. Although I am not proud of this behavior, it is a part of me, a facet of my lived experience that I deserve to speak about candidly, and I am proud of myself for doing so.

When working with silicone, I found that this compulsion pulled me to pick at this replica of my hand. The rubbery material can be torn apart in a way that is so satisfying to my brain. So I let myself pick, carving craters into the faux-flesh, a visual exaggeration of the way I treat my own cuticles and scalp.

The hair ‘growing’ from under the fingernails provides a connection to the scalp, the primary victim of my dermatillomania. At times, my picking has resulted in small bald patches on my head. Because of this, the hair is meant to express a desire to grow away from this habit, to let my follicles grow again where I once tore them out.

#my art #man I can’t remember the last time I posted my art here #I feel like this is a cool piece tho so I wanna share it:) #art #body cast #weirdcore #tw skin picking #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #tw body horror #sorta? just to be safe ig #installation art

[serenitypoetry]

Body Focused Repetitive Behavior

my fingers search for imperfections

on the surface of my skin.

complete the scan with such precision;

torn-up shoulders on a whim.

you say "don't listen to you fingers,"

but, well, don't you think I've tried?

if I ever didn't listen

I think the obsession would realize.

it hurts the days just after I have

trimmed my fingernails quite close -

it's so much harder to fulfill

the imaginary quota of blood to expose.

here with my nails cut short, I seethe

when it takes so long to scrape the dry

excess off my bottom lip — say "please"

if you want to deny

the overwhelming urge to always

search for tiny problems;

deny that you subconsciously

tear your skin apart without knowing.

without paying attention, you

are torn right at the seams.

by the power of your own action,

you're out of self-esteem.

#poetry #original poetry #original poem #poet #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #personal poetry #serenitypoetry

[joint-hurty-juice]

having like 5 mental illnesses is so fucking bullshit. there should be a limit on how fucked up your brain can be. and don't even get me STARTED on having like 5 mental illness AND a chronic illness. hell world hell world hell world

#and to top it all off! my psych wants me tested for adhd! #joint hurty words #chronic illness #mental illness #persistent depressive disorder #major depressive disorder #generalized anxiety disorder #obsessive compulsive disorder #excoriation disorder #hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome #heds #ehlers danlos syndrome #chronic pain

[transjudas]

Me actually looking at my arms for the first time in a while:

#dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #I know I’ve been stressed but JESUS