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mayakern · 11 days

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hiiii it's me! devin! ur favorite!

maya is still banned from doing big business things on social media while she takes time to rest and detoxify from the poison that is running social media full time for ten years. everybody clap! yay!

i'm here to share some info on our button-up shirt and dress preorders!

as many of you already know, i lost my anti-preorder campaign due to the high minimum per design. there's been some confusion and uncertainty. carsyn's doing her best but preorders are overwhelming and i have some time today

SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS:

how close are you to hitting the minimum goal for the button-up shirts and dresses?

not close lol. as of 4/26 we're at about 8% funded. i refuse to panic until after may 3rd

why the funeral design?

the funeral design won our design poll

initially we were going to run preorders for two designs: funeral as well as astronauts. when we got news that the minimum would be 400 garments per design (we're able to spread that across the button-up shirts and dresses) we decided to cut back to one design. we're really not big enough to expect 800 orders on an $80-90 item

why not another design?

another design did not win the design poll

what would have been chosen other than funeral or astronaut?

deadly florals, hiss from a rose, microorganisms, and hands were all the top placers in the design poll after funeral

can you do solid color?

yes

why didn't you do solid color?

you can buy a solid color button-up shirt or dress from anywhere. the plan has always been to introduce these garments in solid color after their initial introduction

...so can you do solid color?

we will consider doing solid color preorders if these preorders bomb

how much would solid color cost?

probably the same. it's not much cheaper. it's faster to make tho

how much would the ecovero viscose cost instead of cotton?

maybe like $10 cheaper

it's really soft tbh but it's a different weave from the viscose for the skirts. it's my number one fabric for the button-ups but alas the cotton fandom won for now

what happens if preorders bomb?

we cancel and refund all preorders.

maybe we'll try again with a different design or with fewer features after we have some time to decompress from the nightmare that is running preorders (can you tell i hate preorders). if they bomb bad enough we may completely nix patterned button-up shirts and dresses. we don't know yet!

does that affect the picnic top?

the picnic top is completely separate. since it's made out of a different fabric it has its own minimum, so it will not be affected by button-up shirt and dress preorders

and like, to be totally honest, it's way cheaper to produce. we can eat some of the cost and just make them. they're small enough to store easily and they're at a lower price point so we can expect to sell them after we receive them, like the wrap tops

btw, we have other ready-to-ship things already in production. we've been working on a whole secret project. surprise!

why did you launch preorders for the button-up shirt/dress at the same time as the picnic top?

the picnic top sample came in with the button-up dress sample and it needed very little alteration. also maya liked it. also we may be developing an entire line inspired by the picnic top so keep an eye out for that next spring

why is the new button-up shirt more expensive than the old button-up shirt?

it's more expensive to make

why is it more expensive to make?

this is a different factory from the one we used before. it's more expensive because they pay their staff a higher wage and likely have other costs

this is a different fabric from the one we used before. it's a stretch cotton with a GOTS certification

this is imported from a different country from the one we used before. turkey has much higher import fees to the US

what is a GOTS certification?

the short version is the fabric itself is more environmentally friendly and produced with more fair labor practices than standard cotton

you can read the long version here here

can you do fulfillment from somewhere other than the US?

we're working on it. it probably won't lower prices tho, since fulfillment centers also cost money

anyway...

none of this is to shame someone for not preordering. groceries are expensive and things are tight, plus it kinda sucks to spend on a tight budget and not get what you ordered for a few months

(can you tell i hate preorders)

i think there's a lot of surprise since we've never done preorders on a single design before, and that's fair! we debated on doing a kickstarter but a) i hate doing kickstarters b) kickstarter takes a percentage of sales and our profit margin on these is already lower than we'd like it to be

i'm tired and i can't remember anything else i wanted to say. i may answer any additional questions from my own tumblr (@punchyemblem and now i'm gonna get a notification that i'm gonna be jumpscared by) but carsyn will be handling most questions

also don't worry, when you say nice things we still show maya. also she's fine, she's just in her (forced and highly necessary and possibly permanent) limited social media era

#devin time #store stuff

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female-malice · 8 months

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Religion is not appropriate for children. Religion is for adults only. Subjecting children and adolescents to religion is spiritual abuse. Minors should not be inside churches and religious institutions. Family weddings and funerals and seasonal holidays should be secular. Religious adults are welcome to organize gatherings for themselves. But if you want children at an event, put the sermons and scriptures away.

Mythology and storytelling are appropriate for children but not religion. A book of stories from around the world is very different from a weekly meeting with a religious authority figure.

Science is appropriate for children but not religion. Experimentation, empirical data, and systematic review are very different from blind faith in religious doctrine.

Oral traditions include mythology, storytelling, science, and religion. In an oral tradition, these things look similar at first glance. But when you take a closer look, you can tell them apart. Oral tradition storytelling often passes useful empirical data down through generations. For example, previous generations discovered through trial and error that pacific salmon are a keystone species. And they passed that information down through oral tradition. Stories about formal pacts between humans and salmon people are not fictional fantasies. They are descriptive regional environmental histories. So these types of stories are appropriate for children and adolescents. What is not appropriate is making authoritative religious statements about the unknown.

Children often ask what happens to consciousness after death. The appropriate response to these questions is "nobody knows." Learning to sit with the unknown is an important aspect of spiritual development. We need to stop depriving children of the opportunity to do that. Adults might seek out the structure of a religious authority. But it's important to understand that while that structure may help some adults, it will hinder childrens' development.

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transmutationisms · 11 months

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I couldn't stop thinking about you pointing out the theme of eugenics in this season finale. Finding out Kendall might be sterile was the icing on the cake. And Tom, who doesn't sleep and can withstand physical pain ends up at the top... he's got a dick like a red sequoia and he fucks like a bullet train.

this is a really interesting line of inquiry imo, because you're right that the rhetorical appeal tom makes to matsson very noticeably uses the language of physical strength and bodily fitness. at the same time, we know this to be kind of a lie: tom's been suffering for lack of sleep, he dipped early from the funeral reception last episode, and he spent most of season 3 terrified of the potential violence he could face in prison. i don't say this to pass some kind of judgment on tom, but to point out what i think is a parallel to logan, who also relied on the language of strength, masculinity, and domination, yet was introduced to us as sick and was in varying conditions of sickness / disability throughout the course of the show. both these characters are living in human bodies that are susceptible to various forms of pain and physical limitation, yet their rhetoric and the fascistic demands of corporate masculinity mean they can only survive and succeed by denying these things about their bodies for as long as possible.

the connection here to fertility, impotence, and sexual performance is fairly clear. fucking and impregnating someone is a way to demonstrate not just your power / ownership of that specific person, but also your general bodily fitness and place at the top of the corporate and gender hierarchy. there's some degree of ambiguity about tom's actual sexual performance, but certainly he uses the claim that he has a big dick and fucks well as a demonstration to greg not just of how he 'got' shiv, but also to justify his general position at the company. also, although shiv's motives for voting against kendall are complicated, it is true that she ultimately had to choose between her brother and her husband, who is also the father of her child—so, in some sense, tom's ability to ejaculate and impregnate someone does eventually win him the company. as for kendall, his literal infertility is really the bodily symbol of his metaphorical impotence in logan's eyes. logan sees him as weak for being emotional, as morally lax for using drugs, as pathetic for stuttering, and so forth. logan doesn't talk about his infertility (in the show), but the way he frequently uses feminising language toward kendall, and accuses him of homosexuality, also shows how kendall's infertility is perceived as a failure of his masculinity.

for logan and thus also the rest of the roys, what this ultimately comes down to is a specifically hereditarian idea of bodily fitness, wherein parentage and bloodlines matter as much as environmental circumstances (all of these factors matter in eugenic discourses). logan has defined himself as worthy and physically fit, so his legacy has to be carried on by offspring who inherit these things from him. in this way logan subconsciously hopes to prove his own strength and ability even beyond his death, as the survival of the empire and the bloodline will continue to signal his personal bodily capacity. of course this also betrays a deep sense of anxiety in logan, who fears that if his children are 'weak' or 'unfit' in some way, it also implies something is wrong with his own body and reflects poorly on him. this is partly what drives his clear embarrassment of his children, like in 'tern haven' when confronted with a rival family dynasty that speaks the language of high culture more successfully than the roys. it's also implied that this is part of what made logan view connor as a failure so early in his life: having his mother institutionalised suggests that logan saw in her a mental weakness or defect that would potentially be inherited by connor. parentage can biologically secure the child's position, but can also threaten it; and the child's fitness or lack thereof also reflects back on the parent. this sort of biological anxiety is both a discourse of fixity and one in which loss of status is always a possibility, eg in the ever-present fear of disability.

also, the causality in the show runs in multiple directions: sometimes a power dynamic shifts and is then inscribed on the body (shiv tripping in 'honeymoon states'), other times the bodily event is itself a cause of a power shift (logan yerfing in 'argestes'). then there are threads like matsson being physically so much larger than roman and kendall, in conjunction with his team being specifically young people who are athletically fit and academically credentialed, and matsson flashing his abs to make a business deal. and of course, matsson telling tom he might fuck his wife, and tom basically just nodding along—which tells us a lot about the power dynamic matsson foresees between himself and tom. bodies on this show are explicitly part of the political and rhetorical field of action, and the characters' ideas about bodily fitness are supposed to cue us to these larger discourses about which bodies are 'correct' and 'deserving' of power.

#he doesn't even trust water

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givemearmstopraywith · 2 months

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If a messenger from heaven came down and guaranteed that my death would help to strengthen the struggle, it could even be worth it. But experience teaches us the opposite. It is not with big funerals and demonstrations of support that we are going to save the Amazon. I want to live.

Chico Mendes, (1944-1988) shortly before his murder. Chico dedicated his life to environmental justice, defending the Amazon and its communities of nature and people from fascism, capitalism, and other forms of destruction.

#chico mendes #anticapitalism #antifascism #ecology #p

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littlespidermonkey · 4 months

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I think in the universe where the Cullens aren't in Forks, Bella Swan takes a while to come out of her shell, but when she does, she's witty and passionate and smart as a whip, even if she's still quiet and reserved. She sits with Jessica Stanley, who demands the best of everyone, and tells her friends about her boyfriend down on the rez, who is sweet and caring and funny and good with his hands, who works for everything he's ever had.

After class, during a sleepover, Bella whispers to tell Angie and Jess about the night after prom, even though her father, loving and careless, worries about her only a normal amount and loves Jacob Black like his own. When she gets into Dartmouth--all by herself, through study sessions in garages and with Jessica and in Angela's house--she chooses to go to Stanford instead. She misses the heat and light on her skin, even after falling in love with the rain. Jessica comes with her; Angela and Eric go to U of Washington in Seattle instead, for education and journalism respectively.

Bella makes sure to call every week and then one day she drives down to Seattle and her boyfriend, warm like the sun she loves and at least twice as reliable, becomes her fiancé. The ring isn't especially big or ornate or pricey, but the way she smiles could trick anyone into thinking that it was. All of her friends, new and old, are waiting at the small party afterwards, and Bella laughs the entire time. The engagement cake--chocolate, her favourite--is sweet and moist against her tongue.

She moves back to Forks once she gets her masters in information sciences and becomes the town's librarian. She gets married a month before the move, barefoot in the surf and her old prom dress, both her parents weeping with joy and Billy Black beaming damn near as bright as his son, Sue Clearwater holding his hand.

She raises her kids --both beautiful children, blessed with Jake's thick, long hair--with Angela and Eric's and takes them down to Los Angeles to visit their auntie Jess and her husband Quil, who lavishes them with gifts from her career as a top surgeon. She jokes about having to support Quil's career as an environmental lawyer and displays each and every one of his wins alongside her diplomas. When William Black II decides he wants to be a doctor too, she writes him a shining letter of recommendation to her alma mater. Sarah, who has always been the spitting image of her father, joins and eventually takes over Jacob's mechanic shop.

On occasion, Bella fights with Jacob, even though he's the love of her life. Despite this, she is never afraid of him, and he never stops her from doing what she wants. Instead, he goes out and works on his cars and comes back in an hour later with slightly greasy hands and a bouquet of flowers from Emily Young's little garden, planted to celebrate her cousin Leah Uley's wedding. Bella makes him muffins, recipe courtesy of Sue and missing bites courtesy of Seth, Colin, Sarah, Will, and Claire, with raspberries, not blueberries, just how Jake likes them. They make up, and they make changes, and they go on.

Eventually, both slower and quicker than she realizes, Bella gets old. She lives in fear of losing herself, of losing her husband and her children, like her grandmother had. But she remembers her grandkids to the very end, even gets to meet her first great-grandchild a week before it happens. Her heart gives out before her brain does, too weak and too slow.

It was too full of love, the letter from Jacob says. Sarah reads it. Her father passed a day after his wife--simply too heartbroken to live without her. Much of the town of Forks and hordes of family attend their funeral, remembering a life well lived.

It is an unremarkable life, in the grand scheme of things. She does not live to be a thousand; she is no great beast, with speed like the wind and strength; she does not discover her powers or lead a great defiance. Bella Black, happy and human and surrounded by love, could never imagine wanting anything else.

#lee's wild scribbles #team jacob #twilight saga #jacob x bella #swanblack #tw: food #OK! that's all the tags for searching so now it's time for the really important tags: me rambling #this was extremely stream of consciousness pls be nice #it was also supposed to come with a lil video like my other little ficlet for this fandom but tumblr wasn't feeling it #also i have not edited this and i'm not going to so if you see a typo you keep that shit to yourself #this was written kind of as a reflection on how bella lowkey chooses to sacrifice so much of what makes life good to me in favour of edward #and how she like. gives up her personhood and future to be his and has no friends outside of the cullens and jake #(who is essentially being held hostage by reenactment)#twilight has such a weird relationship with f3minism. i should write about that at some point #(also this is not tikt0k. i censor words so that they don't turn up in tags bc i doubt ppl in the f3minism tag are looking for twilight fic

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ccuniculusmolestus · 2 months

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Bunny Corcoran; Neglect, Disorder and Becoming Mother

WARNING: VERY LONG POST!!

Based purely on headcanons, might be refined after a re-read (which I keep putting off bcs i want to savor the book slowly but i never get the time)

DISCLAIMER READ IF U GET PISSED OFF ABT STUFF: Okay, I headcanon that Bunny suffered from borderline personality disorder. And please I dont want anyone triggered over me self-diagnosing Bunny this is my HEADCANON and i am not romanticizing it. That being said, I am NOT a psychologist neither do I claim 2 be, these headcanons are built purely on my studies and own experiences. This is not to make light of a disorder that I know well is quite debilitating. I also understand it's different for everyone and I don't claim to be The Only Source of BPD symtoms. I think I had to say this cuz i didn't want pitchforks and all that coming 4 me for a personality analysis 😒 ANYWAY.

Here, I divided this into parts too otherwise it's a long ass yapping post:

I. Katherine Corcoran and BPD

II. A Quiet House

III. MacDonald Corcoran

IV. Father Henry

I. Katherine Corcoran and BPD

First, let's discuss Katherine, her diagnosis (which is a hc) and her parenting 'method'. I believe that Katherine Corcoran suffered from a personality disorder (BPD) (which I believe was passed down either genetically or environmentally to Bunny.) Both she and Macdonald knew there was something wrong with her, but i mean BPD was added to the DSM 5 in the 1980s (when TSH was set) so I believe when she was still younger, getting therapy or going to therapy was heavily stigmatized and also only the extremely mentally ill were treated? Perhaps it was also a social image thing, or a personal pride thing, but sis did not get help for it until much later.

This could just be "In my time, people didn't seek help," but the wording makes me believe she was about to tell an instance or experience of her own, "When I was a girl and struggling with this, I couldn't seek help" so on. She also seems to be in favor of seeking help, even if it is drug related. Makes you think she's probably had to depend on rehabilitation centers or perhaps therapeutic centers herself.

I also feel like, during the events of the book, that maybe she was on mood stabilizers just because she's so cucumber-cool and chill at the worst times. (Described as "calm as a bride" at her own son's funeral whereas her husband can't stop oscillating between bawling and playing with his grandkids.)

Let's talk about her parenting in light of BPD mothers.

According to this study, mothers with BPD might:

not respect their kids' boundaries -> leads to the child developing similar traits. Bunny did not respect boundaries either.

Neglect and emotional under-involvement by mothers with BPD can contribute to the development of BPD in their children. Environmental instability, like frequent changes in housing and schooling, further adds to the challenges. Bunny is quite literally under-developed emotionally AND also he did go thru some environmental instability and extreme neglect growing up. Case in point.

Mothers with BPD may swing between being overly involved and overly distant. This can show up as fluctuating between being controlling and being cold (A trait also expressed by Bunny later on towards his friends). For instance, they might respond to their adolescent's emotions with both neglectful and punishing reactions This inconsistency may confuse the child, making them doubt or deny their own emotions. (Bunny is in denial about a lot of things. That's his way of dealing with his emotions. After the explosive fight with Henry, for example, in Rome. After the fight he tries to pretend everything is normal.)

Apparently children of mothers with BPD tend to also develop disruptive behaviors and other external problems like ADHD. I do think Bunny suffered from ADHD, there's multiple examples of it throughout the book.

Mothers with BPD tend to communicate insensitively, using critical, intrusive, and frightening comments and behaviors. They may also struggle with role confusion, where the child takes on a more adult-like role. We have no proof of this as we never see Bunny interact with his mother. However, the intrusive thing makes me think about something. After Bunny's death, when rumors begin circulating that he was a possible drug user, Katherine reacts vehemently and takes jabs at the press for causing unnecessary emotional damage to an already 'grieving' mother. Then, she orders an autopsy, which is incredibly invasive, not to clear Bunnys name or anything, but to clear her own name.

now I know that running the test would also help clear Bunny's name but you know one of the biggest reasons of denying an autopsy of a loved one is fear of their disfigurement. That's why some families actually tend to not go for autopsies if a coroner or the law doesn't require it. And I know this would've helped Bunny's case in clearing his name but her reasoning behind allowing the disfigurement of her own son post-mortem is just....its so sickening. I felt so sad? 😭 especially in the 1970s, around that time, autopsies were very invasive and didnt deal with people as respectfully as they do today. :(

Additionally, BPD can make SOME mothers incapable of bonding with their own children. They have difficulties with bonding an attachment, thus leading to neglect and a disinterest in their kids' lives. They might also lack empathy as an general thing when dealing with BPD but dont take these statements as like a 100% BPD analysis by a true and learned scholar of BPD YOU NEED TO THINK CRITICALLY. NOt everyone with BPD is like this. They CAN be like this. And I think Katherine was indeed such a mother, because we can see from Bunny's upbringing, and then Bunny's death what kind of a woman she was basically. Bunny's death did not really bother her, only the shame he brought on the family name did. She wasn't emotionally bonded to him, neither does she appear emotionally bonded to her own grandkids, like her husband is. You can even say she probably lacked empathy for her kids.

Now, BPD isn't largely genetic like Bipolar but it has genetic predisposition.

That genetic predisposition paired with environmental influences like neglect can lead to the development of BPD, which is I believe what happened with Bunny. I mean, we can also argue that Bunny's dad was so emotionally volatile. He jumped from one mood to the other, and I'm not being cringey and self-diagnosing (?) book characters but he probably had a mood disorder (Bipolar disorder perhaps) which is largely genetic. So that means Bunny possibly had two parents with personality disorders.

But I do believe Bunny is more similar to his mother than Richard realized or noted in the books, I think. The way he was beginning to get into drugs, too idk. I feel like Macdonald's influence on the boys' behaviors is very prominent, but to see Kathy's influence, you'd have to see their sons up-close. We really only saw Bunny up-close, and that too only from Richard's (very biased imo) opinion

Idk why this made me think of how Bunny was so smiley, but so hateful. He seems amiable at first, and then he seems like a bitch. Same with Katherine. The news was first reporting her as this classy, perfect woman, and then the press turned against her after the interview at the restaurant, after which psychologists began saying the family was dysfunctional and that parents' habits were picked up by their kids (again, this might be an allusion to Katherine's drug addiction mirrored with Bunny's developing drug dependency/usage/interest)

Anyway, building on that, I just wanna say I think Kathy and Macdonald's parenting style was very inconsistent, and most of the times just downright neglectful. This much is clear; the Corcoran household struggled with emotional volatility. Environments like these can seriously alter the brain chemistry of children who grow up in them, and they act as triggers for activating the genetic influences (so basically gene expression can be turned off or on by certain environments)that are present within someone.

So growing up Bunny often felt like his mom loved him, then she didn't, then she did, so on. This could be because of the medications she was on and also her personality disorder. It's mentioned in the books how Bunny was miraculously the best out of all the Corcoran family members (Charles says this) and I think maybe Bunny was more in touch with his emotions than MOST of them; his parents, his siblings, AND his friends.

________________________

II. A Quiet House

I know the popular notion is that the youngest child is the most spoilt but tbh sometimes they can be the loneliest.

The eldest two brothers (Hugh and Ted) have kids that are like, I think almost 10 years old, so I think there's a considerable age gap between (Bunny, Patrick, Brady) & (Hugh and Teddy). Because, like, Bun and Brady are still in school, and Patrick is doing some business start-up thing I think??Anyway, the point I was going to make is that the Corcoran boys were shipped off to boarding schools when they were pretty young, and boarding schools typically start accepting at around age 11 I think. But I think prep boarding schools also exist and your kid can be as young as 7 before you ship them off to stay at the school.

A thing to note, prep boarding schools are VERY expensive and thus exclusive, so if the Corcorans are sending their kids to boarding schools purely for the image of being rich (which we all know that image was the most important thing for them), they might have done that tbh. Which brings me to this point, the age gap isnt too big between Bunny & (Brady+Patrick) but they'd still get to go to boarding school before Bunny, meaning Bunny was younger than 7 years old, and most probably isolated because all his brothers were not at home anymore and he was left to just his neglectful mother (considering his father would be at work) .

Bunny's isolation was probably more pronounced than his brothers, because older siblings being grouped together ended up with him being alone in the developmental years of his life. That could be why he is more dysfunctional than his brothers, but he also might not be more dysfunctional, because we have no idea what his brothers are like in their personal relationships.

________________________

III. Macdonald Corcoran

Donald is an obviously affectionate parent, as we can see, but I have this headcanon which basically ties into all this. I feel like Donald was mostly preoccupied with taking care of his ill wife. I do think he genuinely loved her, idk why, he just seems like the kind of guy. And again, this is not a generalization of BPD women as partners, but it is an analysis of Kathy's overall personality and interactions with Donald in light of the possibility that she had BPD. So this is not a generalization. But Kathy would be the kind of high-maintenance person that Bunny was turning into.

High-maintenance BPD partners are likely to require constant understanding and validation to endure and relieve suffering, which I think Katherine would need a lot in their earlier years or when their kids were young (she starts taking mood stabilizers later, when the stigma reduces mayhaps? So before that they were probably a very volatile dynamic.) Also this is purely my headcanon but like, I think Donald is the sort who would try and avoid conflict with Katherine or at the very least, bend to her whims.

This interaction kind of shows us how she's dismissive towards his attempts at remaining neutral or even positive about a harmless action performed by people they knew. 'It's a common cognitive distortion in BPD, where individuals may swing between idealization and devaluation, perceiving situations or people as either entirely good or completely bad.' BPD is also marked by negative thinking patterns, and often times their partners/friends have to either validate their concerns or try and challenge them. We can see here that Donald is on friendlier terms with the Bartles, he calls them by their first name, but she calls them by their title. Still, she doesn't care that her husband seems to like them and disparages their 'gift'.

Anyway, their dynamic is a whole thing, I believe, and I think Donald might have actually made for a decent father had he not been torn between choosing his wife and his kids. Can't blame him or be mad at him for choosing his wife, either, maybe he had already almost lost her and became afraid of that possibility re-occurring.

So like, even when he'd come home, he'd spend time with his wife who, yes, she needed him, but he obviously neglected his kids in that aspect.

________________________

IV. Father Henry

You know how Bunny is always begging Henry for attention? He specifically needs Henry's attention, because Henry is the man in his life who he has given the 'Father' role to.

The providing role- Henry fulfills Bunny's need for a stable father, his stoicism keeps Bunny's volatile self grounded. Understand this-- Why does Bunny gravitate to Henry more?

Because of his riches? Partly.

Francis was also rich, and he was probably a bigger pushover than Henry, but Bunny still preferred Henry over Francis. It was not all about the money. Bunny needed the father he yearned for since childhood. In his mind, he'd built Henry up into this figure he could depend on no matter what. That scene with Richard in the restaurant-- Bunny's in trouble, first thing he does is call Henry, like a kid who expects their parent to always get them out of trouble. Richard even describes Bunny's behavior around Henry that of a 'bad child'.

That's why Bunny expects Henry to give him the world. That's why he respects him even after everything starts going to shit, even when he won't respect anyone else, because he never grew up, and, despite being 24 years of age he was still desperately seeking the love he knew he could have almost had. Sure, his mother perhaps would never have loved him, but his father could have loved him more, been more attentive. I don't think Donald was restrictive with his affection at all, but I do think he was not nearly as attentive as Bunny needed him to be.

You could argue he has daddy issues, so he seeks a deep relationship with a man who cannot give him what he needs. What's worse is I know Henry was trying desperately to not be his own father (Mr. Winter). He viewed parenthood as something negative, but he was pushed into that role unintentionally by Bunny. I don't think either of them realized what was going on.

Which is funny because Henry's weird co-dependent daddy-issue relationship with Bunny was what kind of lead to not only his own decline and death, but the decline of their friendship, the death of Bunny, and the decline of the Greek class. 💀

Also something to add, I can also say that I think Henry's relationship with Bunny actually began shaping Henry more into the mold of his father, Mr. Winter.

From what we can tell or assume, Henry's father was:

cold, distant (Henry's mother is depressed, meek, subservient. Henry himself has no interaction with his father. His father does not attend his funeral)

abusive (probably lead to Henry's injuries either directly or indirectly). he could have been either emotionally or physically abusive.

exercises influence through money (can be inferred although it cannot be said with 100% certainty. He's a distant business tycoon who is involved in some shady stuff, there's a level of corruption there and usually these kinds of themes are at play in such situations. But I can acknowledge this is a bit of a reach).

Henry is not cold or distant by default, I believe. I mean yeah he's kind of closed-off, but he wouldn't necessarily ignore or avoid someone just because. He becomes avoidant and cold, and distant specifically to Bunny after the turmoil with Bunny pushes him to that point.

He can't really be called abusive but he did hit Bunny (even if it was an impulse and he didn't mean it) and then throw (?) a chair at him later (definitely meant that). Also the cold and distant comes into play here because he let Bunny cry himself to sleep and did not bother apologizing even once, or even checking in on him. I know this is not his fault- he was traumatized, he didn't want to fight Bunny anymore- but there's also a level of "I'm done with this and I dont care about it anymore". Henry is shown to have a "idc" personality from the start which I think becomes exacerbated towards Bunny due to Bunny's behavior. But also, even after their fight in Rome, even when they were interacting normally, Henry did not apologize to Bunny for the crap he wrote in his journal about him. Instead, he just "tolerated" Bunny a bit more for like 2 days before abandoning him in Rome

I mean Henry didn't really leverage his financial position and privilege over Bunny

So it's a very fucked up dynamic, can you see it? They had very different relationships with their fathers, and very different expectations and views of one another. Henry never asked to be put into the shoes of Bunny's father, and Bunny never meant to push Henry into becoming Mr. Winter, but alas.

#also what if henry killed himself because he realized he was becoming his father by the way....idk just a thought #i fucking rambled again #this post has been in the works for so long but i just sat down to write it and like #i should be stuydung #help #the secret history #bunny corcoran #tsh #henry winter #tsh donna tartt #winterbunny #macdonald corcoran #katherine corcoran

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cemeterything · 1 year

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what are ur thoughts on the exploitative practices of the funeral business? not to like attack you or anything but i just know they exist and want to hear ur thoughts on them

i'm aware of them and agree they're exploitative and wrong, which is why i'm very interested in finding a way to work in a part of the death/funeral industry that supports "alternative death"/"death positive" movements and ideals and runs a more ethical business model. i've been reading up on the history of death practices and rituals, people's legal rights surrounding death and funeral care, and the modern funeral industry, and researching the alternative/"good" death movement in particular (thanks caitlin doughty and associates) and looking into ways i could support that rather than contributing to an unethical, unhealthy and environmentally unsafe industry. i don't intend to pursue a job that requires me to exploit or mistreat people to make a greater profit, and would turn down such an offer if it were made to me regardless of the benefits i could stand to personally gain from it.

#death #i appreciate this ask! its important to acknowledge the many issues with the current state of death/funeral care and services

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mysadcorner · 2 years

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Hihi! I love your writing so much and I really like how you write Jason, and I was wondering if I could request how Jason Todd would react if reader/his s/o got him flowers on their first date

Jason Todd Receiving Flowers Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters in requests -

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• Jason’s first reaction to being given flowers would be confusion, mainly because he isn’t sure how to process the situation properly. This isn’t something he’s used to so you’ll have to give him a moment to wrap his head around what’s going on.

• The only time Jason has ever been given flowers was when something seriously bad and upsetting had happened, including his own funeral, which meant that people sent him flowers out of sympathy. It’s a new concept for him to receive flowers out of live and not sorrow, but it’s something he quickly grows to love.

• Jason wouldn’t really admit it, but he is a big fan of flowers as he’s a hopeless romantic and they’re a perfect way of symbolising that. This work for both you giving them to him and him giving to you too.

• After Jason realises that you’re comfortable with the idea of flower giving (as some people aren’t for environmental issues) he’ll buy flowers for you pretty often. Plus, if you’re living more of a domestic lifestyle together then he’ll get them for you on a weekly basis as a present to show his continuous love.

• If you’re on a date then Jason may come across as a little shy, but after the first time you’ve given him flowers he’ll try to outdo you the next time. He may even come in with multiple bouquets just so he can say he’s given you the most flowers on dates.

#jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #jason todd headcanons #jason todd x reader #jason todd #jason todd titans #dc jason todd #dc x you #dc x reader #dc comics headcanons #dcu titans #dc #dceu #dc robin #dc comics

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gemsofthegalaxy · 10 months

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really hope that the scene with Greg and Ewan after the funeral is in the deleted scenes !!

it also makes me sad for some of the other things that were cut between them as well.

I think it's very interesting how toys and animals get brought up here. Maybe I'm being an insane gif-comber, pepe silvia ass, but... The scripts strongly implies that Greg and Ewan bonded over animals and animal welfare, but this was also used as a weapon against Greg to get him to do what Ewan wanted, and the fingerprints of this are left in canon. It's so fucking interesting and also we were robbed.

Greg in the scripts is a Zoology major, which implies he likes animals to some degree, or was he trying to gain approval from his grandfather, who cares more about animals than about his grandson- Greg in the scripts was sent animal gore by his grandfather in an effort to make him stop using disposable razors.

In their last deleted scenes, which is a fight between them with Greg accusing Ewan of disliking him and Ewan accusing Greg of being ungrateful and not wanting to spend time with him, they discuss the activities they did when Greg was a kid. Ewan says "i took you fishing and you hurt a frog" which to me is a very interesting set of two things.... fishing kills the fish, and he was the one who brought Greg to do that, but then seems to be accusing him of being cruel to animals, which, again, is a motif that was embedded between them but mostly did not make the cut.

Then the conversation switches more to material possessions, which I also have a lot to say about, but I'll get there in a second. After talking about toys, Ewan says he bought Greg a book about birds. Another animal thing, that Greg probably had a genuine interest in, and out of all the stuff that was said, this brings Greg to a standstill.

With all of this, it feels so much more pointed that Ewan uses Greenpeace, which fights for the environment and the natural world, as a punishment for Greg choosing Waystar, Logan, and "capitalism" over him and his/their shared apparent love of animals. And Greg being willing to sue Greenpeace back (although I am still not sure if, like, Greg actually got anywhere with that or was just saying it to be a brat mostly) is just.... woof.

More about the material possessions stuff under the cut.

First. Just like to point out. Greg in canon was willing to drive 24 hours to get his grandfather simply because Ewan doesn't like to fly for environmental reasons, and seemed excited to spend a bunch of time with him. Ewan in the scripts accuses Greg of "never coming to see him" which Greg disputes.

Ewan in the scripts deprived Greg of very typical material possessions such as TV and power wheels, and in canon says that "thinking one's work is so important is akin to mental illness" or something along those lines. Greg in the scripts throws ideas of "productivity" in his face because he knows his grandfather is anticapitalist.... but, again, I ask, what does Ewan think the alternative is, for Greg? He was sitting on money for him but both Marianne and Greg had very little money, and Marianne was implied to be irresponsible with money thus he can't have taught her how to manage it because he, what, wants to pretend he already lives in a world where it doesn't exist?

I've pointed out before and this deleted scene corroborates! In my opinion, Ewan seemingly tried to make sure Greg was not materialistic as a person, and instead created outright scarcity of both material goods AND affection. Greg doesn't think Ewan even likes him! and Ewan can barely insist he does. He says "i liked you well enough" you would think a parental figure, a grandpa, would say "i love you" or "of course i like you" but those are too strong of statements because Ewan is entirely emotionally unavailable.

You could argue he saw how spoiled Logan's kids were and didn't want his own turning out like that, but it's insane for him to think that the solution, then, is just give them literally nothing and that will work out well? Especially when they KNOW you have millions of dollars you're sitting on, it's asking to be resented and that's not even the angle Greg takes with him. Greg still fucking wants his love and his approval even more than his money. goddamn i get sad.

#greg hirsch #ewan roy #succession #succession scripts #idk i could prob say even more but!!!

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wobblefloss · 2 years

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STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I WAS STILL ABLED...

It's not always obvious what's wrong.

Hi, Doctor. I'm tired. Like, all the time.

No. All the time. I wake up exhausted. I fall asleep at work. I fall asleep in the shower. I'm scared to drive.

No, Doctor. You don't understand. I'm not 'sleepy.' Not 'drowsy.' I'm tired in my bones. My blood feels heavy. The weight of my head hurts my neck. I can't think sometimes--I forget how to read--i get lost in familiar places! I say 'tired,' but I mean that 80% of my life, I feel like a sloppy heap of mud splattering and crumbling from too much moving, too much thinking, too much feeling, too much light, too much noise, too much everything. I'm confused and disoriented and like I'm in a terrible dream.

Oh.

That's a symptom of a lot of things?

Anemia. Migraine. Sleep apnea. Vitamin deficiency. Thyroid dysfunctions. Brain diseases. Heart diseases. Neurological disorders. Blood disorders. Autoimmune issues. Depression and other psychiatric conditions. Lifestyle choices: sleep, food, activity level. Environmental factors: mold, pollution, allergies.

There's a lot of testing to rule things out, huh? Could take years? Yes, I know it will be expensive. Yes, I accept that some of the tests will hurt. Yes, I commit to rearranging my eating/sleeping/exercising habits and seeing every recommended specialist.

Doctor, you don't understand. Either we find an answer, no matter how long it takes, or I am trapped outside of the world forever for no reason. Not testing won't make these horrible feelings stop.

Can you imagine feeling this way? Always? During your friends' birthdays? When your boss demands work? When you're home alone in the middle of the night trying to remember how the sink works? During the commute. During the shower. Taking out the trash. Feeding the cats. Staring at your bills. Talking with your family. For years... weddings, funerals, holidays, weekends, 4am, 4pm, when your loved ones need you, during every emergency, while you fail at your job, at your hobbies, at your relationships, at being your basic self?

Fuck, Yes! Doctor! Run! The! Tests! We are burning daylight!! Let's get this ball rolling! Journey of a thousand miles, begins with single step, etc!

I do want to feel better. This is not my imagination. It's not my fault. I am a reliable witness to my own life and I don't care how many tests 'come back normal.' Those must be the wrong tests to find what's haywire. I know something is wrong and even if we can't fix it, I must understand it.

I'm now in year 7 of trying to improve my situation. I know so much more about my conditions than I did. I am getting help. I still don't have a full picture. I'm still disabled.

But it's not like it was.

Please. Don't give up. Diagnosis can take years. Some people never get a firm answer. Regardless, you will learn ways to cope. You will meet people who help you cope. Don't give up on yourself. You are worth the effort.

Seems like something we should all know.

Disability happens to people without our control or consent. Every single disabled person has strong feelings about their own situation and I would not presume to talk about anyone’s thoughts but my own. But none of us chose to do life on hardmode, so if the world could listen this month, there’s a lot to say.

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alpaca-clouds · 9 months

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Dying in a Solarpunk World

So, talking about death and religion and all those things, let me talk about how I would imagine death within a Solarpunk world, given that I do base my ideas of Solarpunk not only on a technological, but also a societal aspect.

Let me start by saying one thing: No, I do not think a Solarpunk future would chase after immortality or even after prolonging life even more than we currently do. I think the ideal should be about just accepting death. No, people should not die preventable death - but also I do not think creating a culture in which people are kinda forced to cling onto a very painful life because death is just too scary is something we should strive for.

We need to talk more open about death. And... create a society, in that death is part of life again and not kept so far apart from it. People die. We mourn them. It is sad. But it is all a part of life. And that is okay.

Also create a culture, in which it is more normal for people to die in their own homes again. Where there can be care provided within their homes properly. Instead of putting them into "wait until death" institutions.

On the other hand, we also should keep in mind our culture on how we deal with the dead bodies. Right now, a lot of our death culture is distructive towards the environment.

Don't get me wrong. There are absolutely valid reasons for all sorts of death plans. Especially culturally. Like, yeah, sure, if people's religion is very linked to fire, sure, go burn the dead. And if it is part of a culture to keep the dead around for a week or two and have literally everyone come over to say their goodbyes, then yeah, enbalming might be the way to go.

But we should also make ourselves aware of all the alternative methods we do have by now. Methods that might have less impact onto the environment.

And I just absolutely do hope that in a solarpunk world laws would be less restrictive about what can be legally done with a dead body. Currently in many places you totally CANNOT legally organize a funeral yourself. You have to go through a funeral home. Which is bullshit. Heck, in Germany you are forced, by law, to put the dead body into a casket. No way around it.

And that does not only suck from an environmental standpoint, but also just... my little anarchist heart bleeds at that. People should be allowed to have some form of self-determination about what should happen with their own body - and that of their loved ones - after death.

And for fuck's sake: A funeral just should not cost several thousand bucks. Like, the entire funeral industry as such should not exist. I hate capitalism.

#cw death #death #death culture #death positive #solarpunk #lunarpunk #dying #funeral culture #fuck capitalism

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bl0w-m3 · 8 months

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𝓑𝓞𝓡𝓓𝓔𝓡𝓛𝓘𝓝𝓔 𝓟𝓔𝓡𝓢𝓞𝓝𝓐𝓛𝓘𝓣𝓨 𝓓𝓘𝓢𝓞𝓡𝓓𝓔𝓡

Side note: if you are not diagnosed with this disorder but relate to any/all of the symptoms, please do further research and speak to a personal mental health provider! (I know medical diagnosis is out of question for some people with certain healthcare, but please do a lot of research before self-diagnosing!)

Borderline Personality Disorder, commonly abbreviated to BPD, is a cluster B personality disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior and relationships. Stemming from long-term abuse, BPD affects how one sees themself and others to the detriment of that person. It sounds very clean cut and simple, but it’s far from.

With BPD comes severe emotional instability and fluctuation of self-image. Unlike people with Bipolar (a chemical disorder with symptoms very similar to BPD) who’s mood fluctuates over longer spans of time, people with Borderline’s self image and emotions can change from minute to minute. People with borderline feel emotions at a much higher intensity than those without. Not just sad, but suicidal. Not just happy but euphoric. There is no “gray” in emotional states. These emotional scan fluctuate from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day or week to week. Emotion is also highly dependent on environmental factors such as friends and family. Whether one feels as if they have a “god complex” or so depressed they are suicidal, there is usually an external factor causing the stress or euphoria.

An extreme example of this, and another trait of BPD, includes having what the community like to call a “Favorite Person (FP)”. When somebody with BPD has a FP, they center their entire sense of self around that person. That one person become their emotional world, and often times need constant reassurance from this person due to fear of abandonment.

Fear of abandonment plays a very important role as well. People with Borderline usually have a very intense fear of being left behind or “thrown away”. This usually stems from the trauma that caused the BPD itself. Unfortunately, abandonment can happen more often for people experiencing BPD due to their nature to jump in and out of relationships (both platonic and romantic) and they’re extreme emotional needs that other often cannot meet.

Another part of BPD is known as “mirroring”. One of the reasons Borderline persons have an unstable self image is because it often changes based on who they’re around. Likely due to the fear of abandonment and the already unstable self image, and person with BPD can slightly or drastically change their personality, mannerisms, and even interests depending on who they’re in contact with.

As far a unstable relationships, people with borderline often find it hard to maintain safe and stable relationships, often viewing them as “completely good” or “completely bad”, also known as black-and-white thinking, also known as “splitting”.

Impulsivity is another characteristic, with sufferers often making impulsive and irrational decisions. This impulsiveness is usually towards things that cause harm such as Self Mutilation, Eating Disorders, and substance abuse. This all contributes to the person trying to manage their feelings of instability.

The disorder is also accompanied by intense feelings of anger, paranoia, dissociation/derealization, and stress.

Many in the community describe having BPD as the emotional equivalent of having 3rd degree burns over your entire body. It’s an extremely intense disorder that many don’t make it through.

If you’re experiencing symptoms and feel alone, please reach out. Somebody would rather hear your story than go to your funeral.

More information:

Borderline Personality Disorder - The Mayo Clinic

Borderline Personality Disorder - NLM (Box 2 for Diagnostic Criteria)

Borderline Personality Disorder Forum!

#bpd #actually bpd #mental health #bpd shit #actually borderline #mental illness #bpd shitposting #bpd problems #bpd mood #bpd meme #bpd fp #bpd diagnosis #borderline personality disorder #borderline personality traits

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