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#Dreck
xx-stay-strongxx · 4 months
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Heute ist wieder so ein Tag..
Ich fühl mich so wertlos, ohne Bedeutung und wenn ich mich ansehe oder nur an mein Körper denke, bin ich angewidert. Ich ekel mich so sehr vor mir selbst, hasse alles an mir und von mir, einfach so ein Hass auf dieses ICH.. Doch wenn ich ehrlich bin ist heute nicht so ein Tag.. denn es ist jeder Tag...
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survivalfighter33 · 10 months
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Wenn ich sterbe, dann vergrabt mich nicht in einem Sarg. Tretet einfach den Dreck auf mich, so wie ihr es gemacht habt als ich gelebt habe.
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how-i-saw-the-world · 9 months
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Wieso sind mir immer alle so wichtig? Wieso bin ich nie jemandem wichtig?
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rmhashauthor · 10 months
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"Pet", fiction in 4 parts - Part 1
I... don't know what happened this week, except that I sat down and this... thing... demanded to be done so I did it.
Also hi, it's been a while since my last post so consider this an apology. I'm back to working full-time again and it's taken a while to adjust to the new routine.
If you are under 18, buzz off or dni/censor yourself. This is grown-up stuff.
**********
Taun looked down at the female he'd just welcomed onto his ship. On the information download she'd seemed smaller, defenseless, not quite the type of female he preferred, but now that she stood before him there was more substance to her and a curious, intelligent shine to her eyes. She wasn't bad to look either, her skin lustrous and gold-brown and eyes to match, with hints of gold and copper. She had curly hair as well, long and thick like a Nuani and deep black in color. I want to touch it. “Hello, pet.”
A little shy, but openly enough she replied, “Hey. Um, should I call you 'master' or–“
“You can call me whatever you want, but my mother named me Taun.”
“Kira.” She paused. “Since your name is Taun, I'll call you that.” Her frankness sent an odd quiver down his spine. That's... interesting.
“That's fine. So, I imagine you understand the situation?”
Kira nodded, dark curls bobbing. “Yeah, I get it.”
“You're not afraid?”
One of Kira's brows cocked. “If you were afraid of someone, would you show it?”
Taun chuckled. “You're a bold little thing, aren't you? Well, that's fine. I wouldn't want a frightened little milksop hiding behind my legs all the time.”
“I feel the same way about kids. Is that why you picked me instead of a Leagan woman, you don't want me to pop out a bunch of babies?”
Taun shook his head. “That's true, but it's not the only reason. You struck me as being entertaining – so far, I'm correct.” He cleared his throat and reached up to run a hand through his blue-dyed crest. He saw her eyes follow his hand and gave his crest a ruffle. “So, um, am I anything like you thought?”
“You're taller than I expected,” she told him bluntly. “But you're fit, so that's nice. And I like the blue, it goes with your eyes.” For a moment Taun was dumbstruck. Lots of women had complimented him on his pelt, the attractive shade of cloud-grey and its darker striped pattern on his back and shoulders being particularly liked. Most Leagan males were either tan, black or grey, and the striping wasn't exactly universal but not common either. Taun was used to the attention he got from Leagan women, but this new species was definitely triggering something. “So,” she said, interrupting his thoughts, “you asked for a pet?”
“Ah, yes...” There was only one reason to have a sentient pet, but Taun wasn't about to just push her down and have his way – it wouldn't be right, and he wanted his new companion to want to be in his company, or at least have reason to tolerate it. “Do you, um, did you bring anything with you?”
Kira shook her head. “Just this,” she indicated a small bag at her side. “It's not much, just some clothes and combs and things.”
“Hmm, right. Well, my cabin's this way.” Taun gestured to the narrow passageway leading out of the cargo hold and towards the living space he'd carved over the years by removing walls and re-figuring the life-support to make room for his greenhouse and hydroponics works. He was proud of the space, and wondered if his new companion/pet/playmate would be impressed. Leading Kira towards it Taun breathed in the cool, humid air as they passed the first of the misting units, pausing when he heard her draw a surprised breath. He turned back to her, briefly fixated on the wide darkness of her eyes as she paused next to the racks of clustered leaves and twining vines. “Do you like plants?”
“Oh, yeah... This is... Wow. What do you do with all these, eat them?”
“Some, others I sell, and a few I keep. Please don't touch anything yet, some are toxic and I have to use gloves.” Kira nodded and said nothing else. They continued to the main area, this unit populated with hardier greens that weren't dangerous to touch. “Everything in here is safe,” he told her, “I'll show you the ones you can eat later.” He showed her the next room, a standard-size bunk he'd expanded across the narrow closet-like room until it was essentially a cubbyhole with storage above and below. “I sleep in here.” The expectation was that she'd sleep with him, and the prospect of it raised his crest at the back of his neck. “Hope you don't mind smaller spaces.”
Kira leaned in, her hair falling over her shoulders as she peered into the shadowy closet. “It's bigger than my bunk back on the colony, it's nice. Cozy.” She straightened and Taun noticed again how she came up to his nose and not much farther. Her expression wasn't quite a smile, but her wide dark eyes certainly did when she raised them to his. “Nice place, I could do a lot worse.”
Taun felt giddy. “Um, so... Shower's through there,” he pointed at a small grey room fitted with water spigots and tubing. “The main facilities too, use whatever you want.” To his complete surprise, Kira reached out and touched the lapel of his jacket, smoothing it where it had flipped up. A smooth, clean smell rose up from her hand to his nose and Taun's nostrils flared as he breathed it in. Do humans have pheromones? “Have... Have you eaten yet?”
“I could eat,” Kira slipped her small bag from her shoulder and laid it on the bedding platform. “Can I help? I can cook a little.”
Taun shook his head. “You don't have to do that. It's your first night here, you should relax, get to know the place. Maybe unpack?” He did not miss the part where she ran her eyes up and down his tall, lean frame. You're fit, so that's nice. Taun began to sweat. Their arrangement, common enough among Leagans but apparently still abnormal to most humans, came with the understanding that the 'pet' would be open to being intimate with her male counterpart, and the thought of later tonight testing their compatibility squeezed warm fingers around the base of his cock.
“I could go for a shower,” she said. It was a question, but not phrased as one. She was letting him know she could keep herself busy, stay out of the way while he worked.
“Of course.” She's so direct. I like it. “I'll get started in here. If you don't mind, I'd like you to be moderate on the water–“
“If I can spend more than five minutes in the shower, I'm happy.” Coming from a colony she was likely used to conserving water, but Taun knew he had a thousand liters on board and another five hundred circulating in the hydroponic system.
“Ten – fifteen max.”
“Fifteen?” Kira's gold-flecked dark eyes glittered. “Wow... I hope this 'pet' thing works out, I'll be living like a queen.” Cheekily she smoothed his collar again, brushing the fuzz over his collar-bone with a fingertip before turning and stepping away. Taun waited for her to retrieve her bag and vanish behind the door to the shower-room before gasping for air. Gods, what did I get myself into?! When he'd made his desire for a pet known, he never expected a human to respond to his request – everything he'd heard about humans painted them all as a prudish, somewhat backwards species reluctant to embrace the multi-ethnic universe beyond their home system. Taun decided to pull out all the stops tonight.
First, dinner and getting to know each other. He tried not to think about what might happen if all of that went well, if she agreed to take their meeting to the next level and stay over. I'm nervous, when was the last time I was nervous? Kira looked healthy, had certainly smelled good, so it must not have been a terribly hard life. Still, it would be his responsibility to make sure she was properly cared for – it was his ship, after all, and Taun shouldered responsibility for anyone who came aboard. He listened for the sound of the shower pump, and when it engaged he went off to the greenhouse in search of fruits, vegetables and greens.
Part 2
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sopranoentravesti · 6 months
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Man if I had some of the influence and mysterious jewish money certain tumblr users seem convinced we all have, I’d start a scholarship to clown college for them. At least they’d put their natural talents to good use.
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gedankenbrei655 · 5 months
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pvbg · 7 days
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#98
Ich frage mich ob sich jemals was ändern wird an dieser mehr als beschissenen Situation oder ob ich für immer darin gefangen bin..
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red-ibis-red · 1 year
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"Somewhere beyond all this muck and dreck there lies a pasture of serenity and I will find it. I am on my way.
—William Goyen, The House of Breath
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deadlybreeze · 5 months
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Schön immer wieder aufs Neue fallen gelassen zu werden wenns mal schwierig wird!
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michaelmac6072-art · 1 year
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It is said we are called to be fishers of...
Aurum will pull through, but there is a lot of drek in the water to clean.
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arrixlive · 7 months
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Kann den Unterschied zwischen den beiden nicht sehen.
When you can’t tell the difference cus they’re the same.
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survivalfighter33 · 1 year
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Erzählt mir bitte nichts von Loyalität. Ich stehe immer noch hier und bewahre die Geheimnisse von Leuten, die meinen Namen in den Dreck gezogen haben.
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Willst du wissen was ich glaub?
Wenn ich sterbe werde ich Licht und du auch.
ELIF -ALLES HELAL
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kneipe · 1 year
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halle 2022
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rmhashauthor · 10 months
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"Pet", fiction in 4 parts - Part 4
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
All right kids, final warning. We've got manual penetration, dom/sub interaction, and sex with aliens including knotting. Mature readers only, please.
“You know,” Taun paused in the midst of unbuckling his belt, “since you'll be staying I don't think there's any reason to rush things.”
“True, but there's no reason to put it off either.” To be perfectly frank, the more she saw and learned of the Leagan the more she wanted him. And she was curious, what would it feel like? Kira reached for the zipper at the side of her dress – she'd worked for hours on it, swearing each time she stabbed herself with a needle – but Taun's hand stopped hers.
“Please.” That was all. Kira smiled and moved her hand, and Taun silently, solemnly smoothed the fabric over her side before pulling the tab down. Kira slid her hands into the fluff on his belly, parting it with her fingers and hooking her thumbs into the belt-loops on his worn-looking trousers. The hook that held her dress together parted and Taun peeled the green fabric away from her skin. And skin was all he found. “Oh, Kira... Thank you.”
Kira tugged down on Taun's belt-loops, snugging his trousers down over his hips and letting them fall as she pressed her body to his. He felt as good as she'd imagined, a wonder of contrasts – hard muscle and soft fur, powerful grip and gentle touch, the rigid self-control of a soldier and the serenity of an ascetic. He rubbed his hands over her exposed hips, kneading her flanks and thighs with his claws almost totally retracted, leaving a fraction of a millimeter exposed. Goose-bumps rippled over Kira's skin as Taun brought one hand up to palm a tight, warm breast and bent his neck to nuzzle the top of her head. She listened to him breathe deep, wondering what it would be like to have his sense of smell. In a moment, she was lifted off of her feet – Taun's hands hooked under her thighs and he set her on the mat inside the bunk closet. Kira made to push back and slide farther into the dim, cozy nook but Taun stopped her with a gentle “No, pet, I want you right there. You can move when I tell you to.”
Kira's breath caught in her throat – the cool authority in his voice stiffened her spine and zinged electricity from the back of her neck to her toes. “Yes, sir.”
“Good girl,” Taun said without missing a beat. He reached out and raised her chin with a finger, bringing her eyes up to his. “I'm going to take care of you, Kira – a good man makes sure his pet has all she needs, and does all he can to keep her happy and safe. I swear to never raise my voice or my hand against you, except in play and only if you allow it. I am never permitted to ignore you, disrespect you or coerce you and I will not tolerate it from anyone else. Until and unless you decide to part ways with me I am your caretaker, companion, protector and lover – you will have all of my attention, affection, devotion and trust for as long as you wish. All I ask is that you're loyal to me, that you trust and honor me, and that you speak your mind. I accept full responsibility for your happiness and pleasure and ask for your permission to continue.”
Taun's promise had the same serious, devoted tones of marriage vows, and Kira noticed that the list of his obligations was longer than hers – it seemed that her master was more beholden to her than she was him. Who's in control here? She nodded, shyly at first and then with more courage. “Yes... Master.”
“I think I liked 'sir' better,” Taun smiled. “But, if you prefer Master–“
Kira shook her head sharply, “No, I'll call you Sir. That's honoring you, right?”
“If you like.” Taking his hand from her chin, Taun reached for her hands and raised them. Placing them on the bunk-frame, he said “Keep those there, do not move them. Understood?”
Kira swallowed. “Yes, Sir.”
“That's a good girl.” Taun bent and rubbed his cheek on hers, still purring as he got down on his knees before her. His hands slid down her arms, claws half-extending, running along her skin, making her shudder. “You're my good girl, right?”
“Y-yes, Sir.” Her skin prickled and her voice trembled. “I'm your good girl.”
“Yes, you are.” Taun stroked her sides, tickling her ribs with his claws. “Such a sweet girl, too. And so pretty – I love this,” he smoothed a hand through her hair; “and this,” brushed her flushed cheeks with his knuckles; “and these”, he cupped her breasts and teased her nipples. Kira whimpered, gripping the frame; where she sat, the mat under her hips grew damp and warm. Taun continued to talk, touching and caressing her and lavishing her with tender words: “I love those sounds, Kira, they're beautiful. You're beautiful, and you are mine. I want to make sure you keep making those sounds, so if I do anything you don't like I want you to tell me. And if it gets to be too much, I'll stop.” The tips of his claws rippled over her skin, drawing faint lines over her breasts and belly until they dipped down to her thighs. He scratched lightly, dragging down the front and sides of her legs, then set his hands on her knees. “Open up, pet.” Kira parted her knees, trembling. Kneeling before her Taun leaned in and licked her throat, then took her flesh between his teeth. “Good girl,” he murmured against her skin, nipping lightly before moving on. Dipping lower Taun sucked a nipple into his mouth and Kira moaned. “Oh, did you like that?”
She wanted to move, to grab him by the crest and make him kiss her everywhere, but Kira kept her hands on the frame. “Y-yes, Sir.”
“Good, I did too.”
“Sir?”
Taun paused, looking up from her breast. “What is it, pet?” he asked with audible devotion.
“Kiss me, please?”
The Leagan's deeply violet eyes softened. “Of course.” Straightening his back Taun cupped Kira's face and touched his mouth to hers. To her great surprise and delight, the fuzz on his face lay smoother and flatter than that on his body and his soft, pink nose was warm and dry. When he opened his mouth the short fangs that had pricked her shoulder just moments ago rubbed smooth over her lips, harmless now under his perfect control. Kira hung forward, her hands still on the frame, and buried herself in the kiss while Taun wrapped her in his arms; Taun growled “Good girl,” when she squeezed his waist with her legs. One hand left her face, trailing down between her breasts, over her belly and to her thighs before slipping between and exploring with two fingers. Taun gasped, “Kira! You're drenched! Are you that excited?”
Kira tightened her grip on the bunk-frame and shifted her hips, grinding against Taun's hand. The Leagan narrowed his dark violet eyes and growled, exposing his fangs again in a feral, carnal grin. The hand still at her cheek moved to her jaw, taking a firm but gentle hold while Taun ran out his tongue and laved the side of her neck. Meanwhile, he thrust his fingers inside, seeking her warm, soft center and chuckling when Kira clenched around them. “Now,” Taun rumbled into her ear, “let's see what pretty sounds you make.”
Kira squirmed, mostly to feel the deep fullness inside her, and to rub her legs and chest against Taun's smoky pelt. He felt so good, so big and solid and safe, even as he held her chin in a firm hand and made thunderous noises in her ear. She was secure in his grasp, free to wriggle and writhe with the knowledge that his control was her shelter. Under her the mat grew wetter and Taun's fingers slid and curled in time with her movements, dipping and spreading and searching for the spot that would make her come apart in his hand. He found it and Kira arched her back, thrusting her hips and rocking hard as she drew tight, quivered and released. She wailed, howling with pleasure, and Taun roared back, “Yes! Good girl, Kira, sing for me!” Stars exploded in her belly, a supernova of ecstasy.
Finally, Kira hung her head and sagged against the Leagan's shoulder. Taun pried her hands from the frame and wrapped his arms about her, supporting her while she caught her breath and cleared the spots from her eyes. “Thank... Thank you, Sir.”
Taun stroked and patted her back. “That was beautiful, pet.” He slung her arms over his shoulders, then stood and lifted her from the mat. Kira made groggy attempts to help, but Taun urged her to relax. “Shh, it's all right, I've got you. Rest, pet, you've earned it.” He kissed her cheek and laid her out on the mat, her head lolling and her limbs slack, and laid down beside her. “There, how's that?”
Kira could only mumble. “Mm-hmm...”
“How are you feeling?”
“Mm, good.”
“And how do you feel about...” Taun paused, taking a moment to brush her hair out of her face and wipe sweat from her brow. “...us? Do you still want to come with me?”
“Hmm...” Kira nodded, then sighed deeply. “Yeah, I do.” Taun's breath left him in a rush and he dropped his head to the mat, obviously relieved. Kira cracked one eye at him, “What? I told you I wanted off this rock.”
“Ah, well, I thought you might find me... intense.”
She smiled. “I liked it.”
“I could tell,” Taun chuckled. “The moment I told you I would take care of you, you lit up and I could smell it on you. Have you... played like that before?”
“Only in chat-rooms. Humans are...” She thought about the word she wanted to use, “kind of uptight, you know? Compared to everyone else, I mean.”
“Oh, I know,” Taun trailed a finger down her chest to her navel. “That's why I was so surprised you answered my notice. Though I'm certainly not disappointed.” Flattening his hand Taun stroked her belly and cupped the bottom of a breast, caressing with his thumb. “You play well, pet. I'm happy you're coming with me.”
Kira sighed again, content. “Yeah, well, I'm not gonna miss this rock. Thanks for taking me with you.”
“My pleasure.” Pushing up on his elbow, Taun raised himself over Kira and kissed her brow. “Now then, have you recovered enough? I can wait if you need more time.”
Stretching, Kira shuffled into a comfortable position on her back. She felt great, actually – like after a good workout. Must be the fresh fruit. “I'm good if you are.”
Taun smiled again, a shadow of his earlier animal lust darkening his eyes and teasing his fangs once again; a chill and then a hot tingle flowed up Kira's spine, her body reacting to both the sheer alien-ness of him and his masterful sensuality. If he could make her quiver with just a look and scream with his fingers... Taun sat up and wrapped his hands around her hips, pulling her into position. “This time you don't need to call me 'sir', just 'Taun' will do. I would like you to wrap those legs around me, though – yes, just like that. Good Kira.”
Kira giggled. She felt wonderful, calm and warm and safe, watching her big Leagan stretching briefly before settling in and soaking in the excitement. She peeked downward and her cheeks burned at the sight emerging from its sheath, thick and hard with a swollen base that looked more enormous than it was. “Oh!” she yelped and covered her mouth, startled and giggling nervously. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–“
“That's all right, it's not as scary as it looks. In fact,” he grinned, “I've been told it's quite the opposite.”
“Oh, Jesus!” Kira laughed, feeling better. “Thanks, I didn't want you to think I was laughing at it.”
“Well, you won't be laughing long.” Taun pulled Kira closer by her hips, then propped up on one arm while he guided his cock with the other. He gave her a cautiously optimistic smile. “I, um... I won't make you take it all just yet. I don't want to push you too hard and hurt you.”
Something softened in Kira, perhaps whatever tough outer skin she'd had to build to survive out here on the edge of claimed space. She melted, and when Taun gave a push and sank deep Kira moaned and shuddered as he filled her. “Oh fuck, YES!” Taun also voiced his pleasure, but not in a language Kira spoke or understood. Instead he said something guttural that trailed off into a low snarl, stiff hairs on his back and shoulders standing up and temporarily making him look bigger, wilder, even more feral than the Taun of a few short minutes ago. He braced his hands to either side of Kira's head and his claws extended, and the brief taste of fear made Kira's muscles tighten and heightened the sensation of his cock buried deep in her. Pleasure drowned out the panic, however, and before she could draw breath to scream Kira arched again and plunged back into euphoria. She rode out the first wave by clutching at the softer fur on Taun's chest, and floating back down found him more composed, though glassy-eyed and panting heavily as he slowly rocked his hips. “Are you – oh fuck that's good – okay?”
“Yeah,” he grunted, “you'll get used to that.” He dropped to his elbows one arm at a time, sliding a hand under Kira's neck and rubbing his soft nose on hers. Kira buried her fingers in his pelt at his sides, privately marveling at the lean, rock-hard muscle under all that soft silvery fuzz. She opened her mouth when he kissed her, letting him tug on her lips with his teeth and swallowing his muted growls until her body announced it was ready again with a rippling quiver. Taun pushed back up, his eyes briefly focusing. “Kira, if you think you can–“
“I'll try, just... go slow.”
Taun swallowed, apprehensive. “Right. Tell me if it hurts.” He sat up, widened his stance and hooked his arms under her knees. “Ready?'
Kira nodded, taking a handful of the bedding just in case. Taun pulled, heaving forward as he dragged her towards him, and Kira whimpered as the hard, knotted base first pushed, then spread, and finally breached. There was a brief, sharp sting and Kira sucked in a breath as though waiting for a cramp to pass, then the feeling of complete fullness took over and her head fell back in satisfaction. “Ohh... Oh my God, that's incredible!”
Taun beamed, vivid eyes widening. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” Kira twisted and writhed, obsessed with the new, unbelievably gratifying sensation. Each gyration of her hips compounded the pressure from within, and in her already excited state she didn't have to wait long for another liquefying spasm of rapturous pleasure. She bit her lips and rode it as long as she could, one hand gripping the fluff on Taun's iron chest and the other sliding down to feel the hard swell behind her mons pubis. She shuddered and moaned as the Leagan resumed his steady plunging, and Kira flew over the edge with a long, joyous cry. Her toes curled when she touched herself, and the growing tightness in her belly burst into a soothing warmth that went on, and on, and on.
“Kira,” Taun's breath began to hitch, and tremors started in his arms and belly. He clamped his jaws together and every muscle in his body tensed, straining to hold back. “Kira, please–“
“Yes! Oh, fuck yes, Taun!” The tautness swelled again, though whether it was her imminent release or the Leagan's she couldn't be sure. Either way, once it started there would be no stopping it, so Kira took a handful of his pelt and dragged him down. Half a second after, with Taun's hard, heavy body coming to rest on hers, the tension peaked and shattered and it was all Kira could do to not yank out twists of Taun's fur with each crackle and flare. She was vaguely aware of a sticky, viscous wetness coating her fingers and sex, but cared significantly more about the Leagan still pumping away, gradually slowing as the paroxysm wound down to a warm, comforting exhaustion. Taun braced his weight on trembling arms, keeping himself elevated enough so Kira could breathe. He let his head hang, his brow resting on Kira's. He said something in his language, and it sounded like a prayer. “What's that?”
“Hmm? Oh,” he chuckled weakly, “just asking not to die.”
Kira joined him in his feeble laughter. “Mmm, me too. That was... oh my god...”
“Mm-hmm, “Taun sighed contentedly. Kira closed her eyes, sleepily replete, and absently stroked the Leagan's pelt. She smiled when Taun began to purr again, and lazily rubbed his cheek and nose on her face. Best decision ever. Others might think she was crazy, running off to be some alien traveler's pet human, traversing billions of miles as his personal plaything, but it sure beat being stuck on a cold rock while some fourth- or fifth-cousin eyeballed her from across a family gathering and did the genetic math. Taun and his “mobile farm” would be her ticket to a life that wouldn't bore her to death, a life of green plants and open starways, of trade and adventure and maybe a little danger. They might stop on a resort world and Kira could feel a sun on her skin, splash in a natural sea and breathe air that wasn't filtered stale and flavorless. She would have freedom, the ability to make her own choices and decide who and what she wanted to be. And if the price of that was to be Taun's helper, companion and lover, Kira thought it a fair trade.
If you liked this, you may be delighted to learn that I have a COMPLETE BOOK over on Wattpad! It features different characters, but if you liked my style or just really love the idea of consensual relations with Very Big Aliens, then STARFISH just might be something you'll enjoy. And the best part is that it's COMPLETELY FREE to read!
I'm a newbie to this online self-promotion stuff, so if you have the time please consider following me on my Instagram or donating to my Ko-fi. Your support, financial or otherwise, will be greatly appreciated and go towards keeping my ego fed so that I can continue to create stuff like this. Thank you!
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worldbolding · 1 year
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Redfall was not at all ready to ship in its current state, and its problems are such that it may have been better not to release it at all.
I haven't felt this much secondhand embarrassment while playing a game from a major studio in--maybe ever?
Like seriously, it's cringe from top to bottom. My goodness.
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