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desperate-gay · 5 months

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oh my god I need a sonnett x reader for my SOUL,,, maybe a lil smut,,, some strap action- 👀👀👀

if you want a specific request maybe the reader plays for portland and has a rivalry with sonny and things get a lil heated after a match,,, 👀 xx

Rivals

Emily Sonnett x fem!reader

SMUT 18+

It is a friendly game between OL Reign and Portland Thorns. Even if the game had no potential value, it doesn’t mean the competition is any lower. Both teams have held a deep rivalry with each other for so long that neither will admit to defeat easily.

So here you are in the second half with only 5 minutes left of stoppage time and a tied score of 2-2. There have been many fouls called on both sides from the roughness of trying to keep possession of the ball, like right now. You’re trying to maneuver the ball closer to the penalty box, but the relentless defender Emily Sonnett will not allow you to do so with her arm wrapped around yours and her feet kicking at your legs. Eventually, she times her kicks a little too early, causing you to trip and fall.

The ref blows the whistle, signaling for a free kick as Emily approaches her trying to defend her behalf. The foul was committed a little outside the box, making it easy for you to kick it in or close to goal. After a minute, the defender stops her protests and gets in position while you adjust the ball to your liking. The sound of the whistle signals it is time to start, so you hold your arm up and kick high in the air, flying over the wall of defenders and allowing Smith to head it into the goal.

The stadium starts rumbling while the whole team runs to both you and Sophia, hugging you both in the middle. Reign kicks off the ball for a second only to be stopped by the blow of the final whistle. Everyone goes to hug the opposite team players, and when you go to hug Emily and back up, her hand grabs your hip and pulls you in her direction.

“You’re going to regret that foul when you’re panting underneath me tonight, begging for me to let you cum.” She mumbles it so the cameras can’t catch what she is saying to you.

Yes, both of your teams are rivals, and yes, you shouldn’t be sleeping with the enemy, but ever since you both ran into each other at a club, it’s really hard to stop. You were going out with a few of your teammates and you got a little too tipsy for your liking, but so did Emily. She started with teasing you and then dancing, but it led to you making out in the corner of the dance floor and stumbling into a cab together.

The two of you get along quite well, but you’re both afraid of admitting you could be something more than just fuck buddies, so you leave it like that. You’re also very competitive against one another on the field so that dampers both of your prospects on a relationship forming. There’s no harm in getting a few mind-blowing orgasms occasionally by someone you find extremely attractive.

“I bet you regret losing, don’t you?” You taunt back before making your way toward your team, stunning the blonde who stands still in her place. Yes, you both have your fronts, but whenever Sonnett makes a bold phrase like that, you’re usually immediately under her control. Today, basking in your win, you’re not going to give up that easily.

When you’re done rinsing off and changing, you head out of the locker room only to get pulled by your arm right away, confusing you and giving you whiplash. Noticing it’s Emily, you relax a bit, but you’re soon shoved into what seems to be a janitor's closet. Her hands grab your hips and slam you against the now-closed door before viciously attacking your neck without warning. She kisses any skin available and nips at the spots she knows drive you crazy.

“Sonny, what are you doing? Someone will find us.” The words spurting out your mouth are supposed to be filled with worry, but with her teeth scraping along your sweet spot, the words come out as broken sighs.

“The door is locked, and if you keep quiet, no one will know that we’re in here.”

“We are not having sex in a janitor's closet!” You whisper yell to get your point across without someone hearing you.

The older girl pulls away from the crook of your neck with a grin on her face. “Why don’t you come over to mine then, baby? I’ll show you who the rightful winner is.” You practically gulp at her sentence, answering her question with an eager nod, causing the blonde to chuckle. “So obedient.”

Emily opens up the closet and slips out to see if anyone is around. Once she sees that the cost is clear, she knocks 3 times on the door, signaling it’s okay to come out. When you come out, her arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you into her as she takes you to her car.

She leans down and presses a subtle kiss to your ear and whispers, “We’re gonna have so much fun, princess.”

—

“Is this what winners look like? Begging underneath the supposed loser to cum?” Emily’s fingers drag tortuously in and out of you for what feels like the 30th time.

A thin layer of sweat covers your skin from the hours of edging as your legs tremble due to your body being overly sensitive. Right when you walked through her door, you were pushed against the door while Emily ripped off all your clothes one by one. You thought you’d be more on the rough side and still be able to get off, but boy were you wrong.

Her idea of showing you who the winner is is by having total control. Making sure your hands stay to yourself, feeling your walls clamp around her fingers only to pull away so you can’t cum, driving your body into overstimulation, making you look like a rag doll. Emily has been competitive at heart since she was born always competing against her twin sister to now playing professional soccer.

She adores it when you look weak beneath her. How she would love to just take a picture and show it to all your teammates to prove that you’re such an obedient girl for her, something no one would know from your facade on the pitch.

“Em, let me cum once. Just once, please.” You pant, whining when her fingers halt, once again stopping your approaching orgasm.

“Fine. But you wait until I tell you too, okay?” She grins seeing you instantly nod your head, showing just how much of a wreck you are, wreathing and panting under her.

Her hands hook under your knees, pulling them up and gesturing for you to hold them in place, spread wide enough for easy access. Right as her index and middle finger slip into you, a loud moan escapes your mouth which only makes the blonde’s smirk widen. Instantly, her digits are pounding into your dripping hole relentlessly, the wet noises from each thrust echoing through the room.

Your moans start to become more like squeaks, the overwhelming feeling of pain and pleasure flowing through you. Emily’s other hand comes up and her thumb begins to rub fast circles around your clit, making your orgasm build up faster.

“I’m close.” You pant, hips arching further into her hand only to be cut off by the blonde’s stern voice.

“Hold it.”

You whine, squeezing your eyes shut, trying your best to hold it in. Your whole body is going against the intruding pleasure, afraid if you do cum, you won’t be able to walk the next day. Reaching down, your hand grabs her bicep to catch her attention.

“Em, I can’t hold it much longer.”

“Wait until I give you permission.”

The build-up flowing through your bones is almost painful, so when Emily hears you whimper and whine, she gives you a sympathetic look before speeding up her thrusts even more. Broken moans spew out your mouth as your grip on her arm tightens, leaving moon-shaped indents on her skin.

“Cum.”

That’s all it took for your back to arch further up and your muscles to start twitching. Your eyes clamp shut as if it would hurt to ever open them again. Once the pleasure washes over, Emily’s thrusts never stop. Your body tries to run away from her hand but she quickly holds your waist down, trapping you beneath her.

“Awe, you thought you were done? Baby, we’re just getting started.” She tuts, maneuvering her fingers inside you, thrusting harder in the spot where she hears you gasp loudly.

A tear begins to run down your face from being so sensitive, but the mix between the sting and bliss makes you want to keep going, also to make the girl above you happy.

“Right there.” You pant, feeling your orgasm approaching already. Looking down, you see the defender’s veins popping out of her arm, turning you on even more and causing the coil in your stomach to snap suddenly.

You didn’t even mean to. You felt it coming but didn’t expect it to happen so easily. As you come down from your second high of the night, you turn your head to the side, afraid to see a fuming look from the blonde. The feeling of her lips attaching to your neck makes you jump and twist your head sharply to look at her.

“Flip over for me, baby.” Her raspy voice thicker in lust, hand grabbing your side to help you move. You let out a shaky breath and do as said, flipping onto your stomach. “You’re not in trouble, you’re just going to give me one more.” She assures, sensing your nerves.

Nodding your head, you take a few deep breaths and wait for the girl’s instructions. Her hands rub up and down your body, while her lips trail kisses from your neck down to your lower back.

“You’re going to ride my fingers and cum as soon as you have to. I won’t stop you this time.”

Her intentions softening but only slightly. When your arms hold your body weight as you slide up and down her digits, your hips stop at the edge of her fingertips, slightly stopping the overstimulation. Emily figuring it out, her other hand grips her side and slams your body down for you. She smirks when she hears a squeal slip from your mouth, her free hand now clutching on your ass, guiding your movements.

One tear now turns into strips of them running down your face. Your body feels slightly numb, but the way your muscles clench tightly against Emily’s fingers, you figure out you’re about to cum. You cry out as your hips stutter, your orgasm finished.

Emily pulls her hand away and flips you over, kissing your temple, whispering that you did so good for her. You hum in delight as she scratches your back, your face nuzzling into her neck.

After a few minutes, she gets up to grab a glass of water for you and a rag to clean you all up. Once you’re done, you settle onto her chest while you both sit in comfortable silence, listening to each other’s breathing, but when Emily takes a deep breath, you know she’s going to say something.

“I was just wondering, would you like to eat me- I meant eat with me. Damn it. Go somewhere and have…food?” She stutters over her words, making you smile.

“Is Saucy Sonny asking me on a date?”

“Depends on your answer. If you say yes, then yes I am, if you say no, I’m asking you to go somewhere with me so we can talk about how you’re going to get crushed the next time we play against each other.” She teases, her nerves washing away from your soft smile.

“I’d love to go out with you. It would suck to make you feel like a loser two times in a day.” You smirk but soon shriek from Emily biting your ear.

You both start to have light-hearted conversations, almost like you’ve been together for years. Rivals to lovers seem unrealistic but maybe you’ll accept that it can happen.

#emily sonnett x reader #emily sonnett smut #emily sonnett #woso x reader #woso smut #woso fic #woso imagine #uswnt x reader #woso

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inactive3x3 · 1 year

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"why do you love me ?"

-> prompt: when you ask scara why he loves you during a late night talk, he gives you an answer that you were and weren't expecting

-> genre: fluff

-> warnings: slightly suggestive, kind of sappy, has some of his backstory, soft!scaramouche

-> character: scaramouche/wanderer

-> pronouns: none

he gently moved a hair out of your face, eyes admiring your figure that lay bare beneath the sheets. his hand rested on your cheek for a moment, thumb gently touching the skin below your eyes, before he moved it to tug the sheets higher so it covered both of your bodies. after pressing a kiss to your forehead, he was about to fall asleep until he heard you ask a very simple yet complex question.

"why do you love me?"

his eyes snapped open as if he had gotten shot, violet-blue hues giving you a soft and confused gaze. your gaze was equally as soft, yet held a certain element of curiosity and playfulness behind them.

"do i need a reason?"

you shrugged, playing with the blanket, "i dunno. im just wondering."

"if you really need an answer," he said, taking hold of your hand. "i love you because i love you."

you bursted into a small giggle fit, "what kind of answer is that?"

"an honest one," he snorted. "what were you expecting? i've already told you, i'm a blunt person."

he rolled his eyes at you and flipped over, letting go of your hand. it made you slightly sad even though you knew why he avoided those types of questions. even now, he had a hard time wrapping his mind around what he felt internally, and emotionally you knew he struggled. you understood why he was like this, so instead you decided just dropped the question.

"sorry," you apologized. "that was a dumb ques-"

"i can't put these emotions into comprehensible words, but you and i are true to ourselves and each other." he flipped back over, facing you with an unexplainable loving look in his eyes. a serious look was on his face. "you're my light, and even though you lead me to all these horrible places and situations-"

you giggled slightly, making his lips turn into a full blown smile and place a hand on your cheek to refocus you.

"i follow you like a moth drawn to flame. the moments we share with each other in my eyes are so valuable that i'd give my life to cherish and preserve them. that's the best way i can describe it. how's that?"

"i… your answer makes me feel so happy."

"now it's your turn, why do you love me?"

truth betold, he was very eager and curious to hear your answer. it had been gnawing at him for a very long time. over the years, he was told that he was so cold and ruthless, malevolent and twisted with an attitude and blunt way with words. everyone always used to poke at him, "how could someone stand you?" "with that attitude, there's no one who could put up with you!"

"well," you hummed, and searched for words, nuzzling your cheek into his hand lovingly. "it's because you're you. i love you because you're you."

he had already done so much in the past, "how could you love me when you don't even know half of the atrocities that i've committed?"

"i'm not saying that those never happened," you reasoned. "but, do you regret them?"

"yes." he didn't even have to think.

"have you atoned for them and accepted that what you did was wrong?"

"yes... how is this important to the question i gave you?"

"then that already makes you a better person than you were when you committed those 'atrocities'."

he went quiet for a second, looking away from you. it made you nervous, did you take it a step too far? but, he looked back at you, then a small smile took over his lips. "i don't deserve you."

"you do," you said, pulling him in for a hug. you could feel his arms wrap around your back, his fingertips cool against your back. "i love you."

"...i love you too."

#scaramouche x oc #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #wanderer x y/n #wanderer x you #wanderer x oc #kunikuzushi

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number1mingyustan · 1 year

Text

Ridin’☾

streetracer!yeonjun x fem!reader

Genre: smut, established relationship,

Warnings: choking, unprotected sex (riding), grinding, kissing, cursing, creampie

Summary: Who doesn't love a late night drive?

Word Count: 2.3k

_______________________________________________

The night air is cold, so you’re quick to make your way to the car. It’s beautiful, a nicely polished white car with red and black detailing. You almost regret wearing a skirt, but as soon as you climb into the passenger seat you feel the heat inside of the car.

Yeonjun looks over at you with one hand resting on the steering wheel. “Hey baby.”

He leans over, planting a kiss on your lips. “Hi,” you smile.

You weren’ t supposed to be here. It was a little after 1 am and your parents think you’re in bed sleeping right now. Granted, they’re asleep too and you’ve gotten damn good at sneaking out since you and Yeonjun started dating.

You know they’d absolutely freak if they ever found out you and were dating, and Yeonjun at that. He definitely wasn’t the type of person to bring home, especially not to your parents.

He wasn’t necessarily a bad guy. He’s gotten into some trouble along the way, but nothing too extreme. However you know your parents would immediately disapprove if you brought home the 6’1 boy with all his tats piercings and all.

Granted, you had a secret tattoo of your own thanks to him, not that they’d find out any time soon anyway.

It’s been a bit hard to hide stuff from them lately because Yeonjun loves spoiling you so much. Random gifts often catch your parent’s attention nowadays, forcing you to lie to them more than you already do.

Your story was nothing out of the ordinary. The straight A good girl falls in love with the troublemaker hot guy. The extremely played out romeo and juliet trope, but nonetheless a goodie.

“You look cute,” he smirks, shamelessly eyeing you up and down.

He loved the way you dressed. You were always dressed so bright and bubbly. Your style consisted of plenty of pink and baby blue, headbands, skirts, fuzz, sweaters, leg warmers, and thigh highs. He absolutely fucking loved the thigh highs.

It contrasted him too perfectly, as he was currently dressed in a pair of ripped black jeans and a black graphic tee. There were silver rings decorating his fingers, like always.

“Thank you,” you respond. “You look cute too.”

Yeonjun chuckles. “Do I?”

You nod your head enthusiastically.

“Thank you baby,” he starts up the car. “Are you ready?”

You nod again. It’s all he needs before he speeds off into town. You’ve scolded him many times about driving so recklessly when he’s close to your house, but he never listens.

This has become a bit of a routine for you. Every Friday night at around this time, Yeonjun picks you up and you drive to the abandoned racetrack on the edge of town where Yeonjun races. At first, you hated it.

He was risking his life and committing a crime on a weekly basis, but it paid well when he won. And Yeonjun always won. The first time he brought you, you were terrified. You watch him zoom through the track with the other cars, going at least 90mph recklessly.

Slowly, you grew more comfortable. You’ve even been in the car with him a couple times during his races. It’s not really your scene, but you can see why Yeonjun enjoys it.

It’s not long before he pulls up to the familiar track. A crowd has already formed and cars have begun lining up at the starting line.

“You ridin’ with me?” he asks.

You think to yourself for a second before shaking your head. “Nah, I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line.”

He pouts. “You sure baby?”

You rode with him in a race, one time and one time only. Truthfully, you did have a lot of fun. But you’re not one to put your life in danger for a bit of thrill. Once was more than enough for you.

“Yes I’m sure,” you open the passenger side door. “I have to tutor tomorrow morning, I’m not risking my life.”

“You know I always take care of you,” he leans over.

“I’ll be waiting for you when you win,” you tell him.

He frowns before placing a kiss on your lips. “Be good my good luck charm,” he tells you.

You back away from the car, continuing to wave at him as you start walking toward the stands. He drives away toward the starting line and you push through the crowd.

You push your way to the front in order to watch the race from the best view possible. The engines are revving as the countdown begins.

Go!

The race starts and your boyfriend immediately takes the lead. People are cheering from the stands, yourself included as the cars circle the track.

No one really competes with Yeonjun’s speed, falling behind him and staying there for the duration of the race.

The cars circle the track 3 times trailing behind your boyfriend. The crowd is roaring with excitement throughout the race, and they only go wild when he jets through the finish line. The other cars soon follow after him, and he parks the car near the edge of the track. He climbs out of the car, flipping his head back and running his hand through his hair before scanning the audience for you. You stand up on the railing and wave at him excitedly. He blows you a kiss and shoots you a wink.

You watch as he pulls out his phone and types something before your phone buzzes. You look down at his text.

‘meet me in the lot’

By the time you look up, he’s already in his car revving up the engine and driving off the track and out of sight. You know which lot he’s talking about, it’s the area the cars go before and after races,but it’s about a 10 minute walk away considering most people drive around here.

You spot him, leaning against his vehicle while talking to Kai, his best friend at the tracks. There’s music playing from inside Kai’s car parked next to him. The two boys are talking, but his attention immediately turns to you when he sees your approaching him. He holds up his middle and ring finger, creating a ‘come here’ motion.“Did I make you proud?”

You walk up to the car sheepishly. “Yes,” you breathe out. “I knew you were gonna win.”

He smirks again. “Yeah, told you you’re my good luck charm.” He wraps an arm around you, pulling your body close to his.

He continues his conversation with Kai, but you find yourself quickly growing bored. Silently, to take his arm off your shoulder and walk to the passenger side of the car to wait for him. You sit inside of the vehicle on your phone for a few minutes before he knocks on the window.

You lower in, looking up at him. “You ready to go?” he asks.

You nod.

He plants a quick kiss on your lips. “Okay baby, give me a few minutes and we’ll go.”

The boys continue talking, but they’re soon interrupted by the sound of sirens and blue and red light flashing.

Oh yeah, what Yeonjun does is extremely illegal. The race track is an abandoned property no one is supposed to go on and there’s so much better that goes on about the dangerous sport.

“Shit,” Kai says.

The boys exchange a quick look before scrambling. Moments later Yeonjun is in the driver’s seat, starting up the car. The engine revs loudly and he speeds off. You hold on for your dear life, he can’t get caught, not with you in the car. If it was just him, it would be less than ideal but he could easily get away. But if he got arrested with you and your parents found out? He’d be a goner.

He races off, driving into the city. The cops trail behind him for a bit, but you know Yeonjun. He car twists and turns sharply as he drives through different side streets to outrun the police. Your heart is beating so fast.

“Yeonjun?” you ask.

“Hmm?” he hums.

“Where are we going?”

“You trust me right?” he asks.

“Of course, but I—“

“Just trust me.”

You stay silent, simply observing your surroundings. Once he loses sight of the cops, he pulls into the parking lot of a park. The area is secluded and dark, perfect. He parks the car

He pulls you in onto his lap from the passenger side. He doesn’t bother to say anything , simply running his hands up your thighs as he begins kissing your neck. "Wanna show me how proud you are? Hmm?”

“No way you’re actually horny from running away from the cops,” you breathe out.

It was a combination of the high he felt from racing and your outfit that did it for him, you looked so cute. A fitted cloth baby pink and white dress with leg warmers and moon boots. He loves that you’re so dressed up for him in the middle of the night. Your dress rides up at be adjusts you on his lap.

Besides, the adrenaline is pumping through his body and you look so fucking good. He knows you guys are safe from the cops and a release seems perfect right about now.

Your lips find one another’s desperately. He hands are on your thighs, pulling your dress up further and further until your your little pink panties are exposed.

His hands guide your hips, causing you to grind against him. Your panties are thin, allowing you to feel everything right where you need him. He’s growing harder in his jeans, cock poking right onto your clit as your grind down on him.

You’re soaking through your panties from the friction. You moan against his lips as you grow more desperate for contact with him.

You pull away hurriedly and reach for his jeans. Your hands fiddle with his his belt. He watches you, panting with a pink tint flushing across his face. His lips are swollen from kissing you, plump and puckered.

You finally undo his pants, pulling out his cock and stroking it. He leans back in the seat, smirking as he watches you jerk him off. The more you touch him, the more he leaks. The clear fluid spurts from his cock, coating the palm of your hand and lubricating his length.

“Shit,” he breathes out.

He quickly grows impatient, lifting you up and pulling your panties to the side. You’re so wet for him and he hasn’t even properly touched you. He slides the tip of his cock along your entrance, causing shivers to spread through your body.

He guides you down onto his cock, filling you up inch by inch slowly. You moan out as he stretches you open. It feels so good to have him inside of you again, to be full of him.

He takes his time splitting you open initially, but as soon as you adjust to his length he’s merciless. He quickly picks up the pace in his movements, pushing his hips up to fuck you. You bounce every time he thrusts into you, feeling his cock poke deep inside of you.

“You love it when I fuck you like this huh? Treat you like the dirty girl you are hmm? He mumbled into the crook of your neck.

“S-Shut up!” you moan.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “You’re lucky this pussy is so good. I should cum in your mouth next time,” he yanks on your hair, tipping your head back forcefully. “That way you can’t talk back to me.”

You let out a strangled moan at his words. His hand is now wrapped around your throat, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you see stars. He’s absolutely fucking you dumb right now and you love it. You love the way he’s rough with you, pounding into you at a harsh pace.

His cock stretches you open with each thrust, pushing deeper and deeper up your lower abdomen.

The windows are foggy and the car jerks with each thrust of his cock. You’re holding onto him for dear life as you feel the pleasure building in your lower region as he wrecks you.

You’re crying out his name like a chant, moaning pathetically. “ ‘M gonna cum baby, can I? Please let me, ‘m so close- fuck—so close.”

You feel him smirk into your skin at your begging. “Go ahead,” he permits.

He stills his hips, allowing you to ride out your orgasm while using him. He watches as you enter a state of bliss above him, grinding your hips into him desperately as you get off on him.

He thinks you’ve never looked sexier, in your pretty pink bouncing on his cock whole you cry out his name and use him for your own pleasure. It’s a sight to see.

You’re tightening around him, squeezing his cock perfectly as your orgasm pulses through your body. Fuck, he thought he was gonna last longer than this. But you’re squeezing him too good, too tight.

He curses, hips growing erratic as his orgasm courses through his body. He pumps his load inside of you as he thrusts messily. His head is tilted back, plump lips parted as he fills you up.

You both come down from your highs, panting heavily. There’s. a sticky mess you’ve created on his lap that causes you to cringe.

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he looks down. “I gotta get you home.”

You frown. It’s nearly 3 am and you know he’s right. Besides, you’re created quite the mess and you need to clean up. He lifts you up, causing you to cringe again as he pulls out of you. You sit back down on the passenger seat and fix your clothes. He redoes his pants, cringing at the very visible wet spot on the front.

He leans over and plants a kiss on your lips. “You’re so pretty baby.”

He licks his lips and smiles at you. You smile back at him. “I love you.”

He starts up the car again. “I love you too, now let’s get you home yeah?”

_______________________________________________

#txt fanfic #txt yeonjun #txt smut #yeonjun smut #yeonjun #choi yeonjun #kpop

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thelov3lybookworm · 16 days

Text

Prone to Infatuation

day 1: human tamlin

modern!au

Summary: Feyre won't mind

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: happy @tamlinweek to all my fellow girlies who love tamtam!!! heres my lil fic for the first day of the week ❣️

enjoyy!!

Coming over to visit her friend's ex had probably not been a great idea. It had been, obviously, a hard decision to make.

But did she regret it?

Absolutely not.

He had been her friend too once, and he did not deserve to be thrown aside after the messy break up.

Sure, what he did was not the best thing to do, but it came from a place of good reasoning. He should not have locked Feyre up in their shared apartment, but Y/n could not find it in herself to blame his actions when she knew of his past.

He had never had parents that loved each other, and so the only way he saw his father caring for his mother was when he would lock her up in the house. Tamlin was young, and did not understand that it was not love that he witnessed, but being a psychology student, Y/n could understand what he went through.

He could have definitely handled it better, but if someone just sat him down to tell him where he went wrong, he could have become better.

She was not erasing his mistakes or saying that he did not make them, but she understood his reasns behind them. He had made mistakes, sure, but so had Feyre when instead of just talking to him, she just up and left and moved on while Tamlin was left with no one.

So today, Y/n had decided to pay him a visit after hearing from Lucien that he seemed to be getting better.

With a deep breath, Y/n lifted her hand to knock on the door to his apartment. A few moments filled with the sounds of shuffling and one loud crash later, his form filled the doorway.

He looked... unkempt. His hair sticking all out in all the wrong places, dark circles under his eyes... He just looked so miserable.

"Um, hi."

He blinked at Y/n, seeming not to hear her words. But then he straightened, the shock fading from his eyes as he gave her an uncertain smile.

"Hey Y/n. What brings you here?"

"What, I can't visit my friends without reason?"

He blinked, leaning back. "Uhh. You can of course. I'm sorry-"

Instantly, guilt spread through Y/n. She reached out to touch the back of his hand, staring up at him. "Tam, I was joking."

"Oh. Right, sorry-"

With a sigh, Y/n wrapped her arms around his torso- shirtless torso-letting her head rest on his chest for a moment until he hugged her back.

He let her go after a moment, the sadness, the loneliness that shone on his face making Y/n want to commit atrocities.

As he led her in, she studied her surroundings, swallowing.

The place was meticulously clean looking, except for a few pieces of clothing here and there.

The house looked nothing like it had the last time she visited with Mor. That was back when Feyre had called them up to break her out of the house.

Everything had been lying on the ground back then, as if thrown around in a fit of rage. Y/n had been disgusted, but now all she felt was sympathy.

"So... how have you been."

Tamlin glanced back at her as he snatched his t-shirt form the back of the couch. "Better."

Y/n smiled, nodding.

"That's great."

He studied her for a moment, his eyes skeptical. But then he settled down on one of the chairs at the kitchen island, sighing. "It really is. You were right. Therapy does help."

That statement surprised Y/n. She could not remember talking to him about therapy except for that one time she had mentioned about it in passing, telling him something about her chosen subject of study.

"You are going to therapy?"

He offered her a small smile. "Yes. And it's been helping a lot."

Y/n placed her bag on the counter as she mirrored his position and smiled, genuine and happy. "I'm so glad to hear that, Tam. How is it going?"

"The therapist reminds me a lot of my mother, with the way she looks, the way she yells at me sometimes," He laughed. "I'm becoming better, that much I know. I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone stays forever, and that it is okay to let go of people. It took me over two months to get over my fear of losing people, but its working."

Her eyes prickled at the genuine joy he radiated, the way he seemed more open and vulnerable and happy about it too.

"That's amazing. You atleast have your friends, even though she left. You'll always have us."

He paused for a moment. "Does she know you're visiting?"

Y/n sighed. "She is not my mother, she does not need to know about my whereabouts."

"So she doesn't."

Her silence was answer enough for him.

"You should lave then. I don't want you to jeopardise your friendship just because you came to see her abusive ex."

Tears gathered in Y/n's eyes at his thoughtfulness.

"She won't mind."

I hope she doesn't.

If she got mad about Y/n just visiting Tamlin, Y/n couldn't fathom what Feyre would do if she found out about Y/n's little crush on Tamlin.

"Are you hungry?"

A few hours, a bottle of wine and two large pizzas later, Y/n found herself spread on Tamlin's couch like a blanket as she giggled at something a drunk Tamlin mumbled from where he sat on the ground, leaning back against the couch next to her head.

Silence settled between them again, the awkwardness from a few hours ago nowhere in sight.

"I should get going."

Tamlin glanced at the clock on the opposite wall at that, nodding solemnly. "It's getting late."

Y/n rolled over, reaching up to twirl a strand of his hair around her fingers. "I don't want to though."

He turned his head to look at her, his face flushed from the wine. "Stay then."

Y/n smirked. "Already trying to get me into your bed huh. At least take me out on a date first."

He laughed, head thrown back. "Would this not be considered a date?" He said, gesturing to the half empty eaten pizza on the low coffee table.

"No."

He grinned, leaning his head closer to hers. "Fine then. Are you free tomorrow? Let me take you out on this date you want."

Suddenly, Y/n felt much more sober. "What?"

He huffed. "You basically have I like Tamlin written on your forehead in red paint, love. You can't expect me to not notice."

Y/n shot up, wrapping her arms around herself to do what, she didn't know. "I- I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. We're humans. We tend to fall in love and are prone to infatuation."

Y/n gave him an unamused look as she stood, gathering her things and heading towards the door.

She could hear him following her, but she ignored the urge to just die and reached for her coat hanging next to the door.

Tried to.

His hand caught hers before she could grab the material, tugging her back into his hard chest.

"I am not kidding Y/n. I mean it. Let me take you out for dinner. And not just because I want you in my bed."

She turned her head to look at him, failing to hide her blush due to his proximity.

"What..."

He gave her a dazzling smile. "Let me take you out on a date. Let me court you, the way you read about in your books."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Really."

"Okay..."

"So I'll pick you up at seven?"

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar

#tamlin x reader #tamlin x yn #tamlin #pro tamlin #acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfic #acotar fluff #acotar series #acotar writing #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #acotar headcanon #mating bond #acotar au #acotar headcanons

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nartml · 8 months

Text

"Itachi was a good brother"

"He did nothing wrong"

Sigh

CW: Entirely unorganized, I had thoughts to express and no order in which to do so.

What are some of y'all on? Respectfully, what are some of you guys talking about? Why is this even a debate? Some hardcore Itachi stans need to get their eyesight checked 😭

There are ways to acknowledge a character's tragedy, their impossible situation, the excruciating circumstances they're under, without justifying genocide and inhumane torture.

Itachi was a tool. Thoroughly manipulated by everyone, and exposed to horrifyingly gruesome sights at a young age. He was a tool, which did Konoha's bidding, followed instructions to a T. And yes, the stuff that he's done will forever haunt him. He possibly hasn't known a moment of true peace or happiness in his life. All very tragic.

That said, he still. Well, sucks. And fucked up badly. You can feel sympathy for him –you probably should– and I do too. But the fact that he didn't regret it makes me side eye him.

His clan was planning a revolution, because they were all alienated, discriminated against, victims of unbelievable prejudice and racism based on a bunch of nonsensical bullshit (fuck Konoha btw)

So naturally, when the government mysteriously found out, he was ordered to slaughter all his people –including pregnant women and little kids– mercilessly. And naturally, he did as they asked.

But he couldn't kill his little brother, because apparently "Konoha's orders were not more important than your life, Sasuke, doesn't he love you so much".

So instead of killing him, he makes him relive the massacre of his family a cool 500k times, then sets him up for a lifetime of hatred, pain, anger, bitterness, survivor's guilt and loneliness.

Manipulates Sasuke's worldview, makes him believe that in order to achieve his goal of killing him (something that Itachi set him up for as well btw), he needs to be entirely isolated without any sort of connection to other people. Shows up 5 years later, traumatizes Sasuke some more, tells him he needs to kill his best friend. Yk, all the stuff a good older brother does.

Then some years later Sasuke manages to kill him, just as Itachi wanted, and Itachi ofc pokes him on the forehead, even in death keeping his distance from Sasuke without ever clarifying what it means.

Isn't he just the loveliest?

He's a tragic character with an abundance of issues, who absolutely fucked Sasuke's life entirely, and no matter how much you kick your feet and scream, he's not a good older brother.

"But he loved Sasuke so much"

I'm sure he did; at least in a twisted sort of way. But holy shit, this might blow your mind to smithereens, just because you love someone doesn't mean you love them right, that you're good for them, or did good to them.

Itachi loved Sasuke, but he sure as fucking shit did not love him right, was not good for him, nor did good to him.

"But Itachi was so guilty, it's not like he was having fun when doing all this, he'll forever be traumatized by what he did"

This shouldn't even be up for debate. Feelings, intentions and actions are not of equal importance. The impact of an action you took is more important than your intentions and/or your feelings regarding that action. One is tangible and affects others, the other is internalized and all you.

Itachi's situation was complicated, and there was no realistic outcome where everyone is happy. He was cornered, more or less.

So he held his head down and did as he was told.

Regardless of how he felt about it before, during and afterwards, despite his intentions and reasoning for what he did to both his clan and Sasuke, despite the guilt he feels, it doesn't change the cold, hard reality of the negative impact he had on his little brother and his family's name. Sure, intentions/feelings/reasoning plays a role in feeling sympathy for him, but you gotta hold him fucking accountable for the atrocities he committed.

You could say that he did it for peace, because the revolution would've been bloody, that Konoha had to do what it did to avoid countless deaths, or whatever bullshit arguments y'all want to make. It's inconceivable to me how you can't even hear the wrong in those statements.

Konoha did not do it for peace, there was NOTHING peaceful about any of it, no justification for it. If you think genocide is the only solution to a rebellion that hasn't even been executed yet, then I guess y'all's mindsets are way too fucked up and you should look into it. Konoha most certainly used this coup as an excuse to rid itself of the thorn that were the Uchihas. Because you know what ended up happening?

Konoha, the very government who orchestrated this, ended up then writing Itachi off as living proof of "the curse of hatred", as someone who went insane because of the clan's innate ugliness, that damned, forsaken curse that no wretched member of that family can shake off. Entirely shoved this disgusting, fucked up situation under the mat.

In the end, when it's time to write the history books, Itachi and the Uchiha clan will be registered as vile creatures who were full of hatred and that's how they'll be remembered. No justice was served for them, and that is heartbreaking.

___________________________________________

TL;DR

Moral of the story: Konoha sucks, Itachi was not a good brother and did a lot of things wrong, and the Uchiha clan is a forever misunderstood tragedy.

Bonus: fuck Tobirama "curse of nonexistent wiener" Senju

___________________________________________

To clarify something:

I am not one of those haters who sit on their moral high horse, point fingers and go "They're such a horrible person, I would never do such a thing. Look at me, the angelic good person, I can't even fathom how someone could do this". Shut up, you're annoying, and what you're saying makes no sense, because you quite frankly can't know what you'd do if you were in that character's shoes, and moreover, it doesn't even matter because it's, guess what, not about you. Quit judging how much of a "scumbag" a character is based on your morality without showing any sort of empathy or understanding of a situation.

You can't relate in the slightest (which is good in this case, I wish nobody ever relates to Itachi's situation), therefore your judgement and morals are irrelevant

Specifically talking about Itachi, I don't can't know if I would've done what he did, because I'm 120% disconnected from the circumstances and laws of his reality. If I were in his shoes and in his universe, I would be an entirely different person with different ideals. Same goes for you.

All this being said, I personally feel iffy about Itachi. I have sympathy for him, but I still think he has objectively fucked up very, very badly.

Plus, I am a Sasuke defender to my core and from a purely pro-sasuke standpoint, he annoys me.

I think I rambled a bit off topic at some point, this is a mess

#itachi uchiha #anti itachi #tagging that to be safe #idk if this counts as anti itachi but it's all criticism #no praise to him was given here but i kinda sorta defended him at the end a lil #i had stuff to say about him #pro sasuke #anti konoha #fuck those bitches #anti shinobi system #fuck you too #anti tobirama #can't forget his annoying ass either #some of y'all pro itachis have dirt in your eyes #he fucked up and was a bad brother and you should know it #long post #naruto #i think that's all

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teyvat-inks · 1 year

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commitment issues

a/n: heya, it is i, sia, and first time writing here! this is inspired by the song, titled, sigurado by zack tabudlo. hope you enjoy reading this and likes are much appreciated! also i kind of suck at punctuations and tenses sorry about that :,)

content: lowercase intended. angst. fluff. gn reader.

“i’m in love with you.” kazuha flashes a faint smile, holding a soft gaze with pure adoration.

“i too, am in love..with the thought of you,” you replied, voice almost cracked, all fidgety from his declaration of love.

the young man gave you a look of confusion, “i do not understand at all!”

“i love the thought of wanting you, caring for you, i love the thought of loving you. i realized that i might never be emotionally capable of being in a relationship. i loved you, or so it seemed. i thought the reason why i wanted to be near you, hold you close, be in your arms, was love…but it wasn’t. i simply loved the thought of loving someone.” you paused as your voice quivered, taking a deep breath as you went on, “i am afraid of the pain that will consume my insides from loving someone too much. i am afraid of letting go of the liberty i fought so hard for. i am afraid of hurting anyone. i am afraid of actually loving someone. i am afraid of all the things i have yet to experience-” your words come to a halt as he spoke too soon.

“and so, you are running away?”

“yes, a coward if you may add.” you elicit an airy laugh, the one that mocks yourself for feeling this way. you averted your gaze toward the painfully beautiful horizon in front of you.

“but i don’t care about all those painful things as long as i can be with you! hurt me, for all i care! i do not give a single damn about pain, as long as it’s from you, i will take everything!” his calm demeanor faded, his eyes full of emotion and desperation.

“no, you don’t. you deserve someone willing to commit to you.” you scooted yourself away from his side, putting an ‘appropriate’ distance between your nervous bodies. your hands were shaking, breathing rather quickly and shallowly. too loud for your liking.

“i understand that you are afraid of the things that could happen and i do not want to push you too if you do not want this. but all i ask is to take my heart with you, i don’t care about the labels. all i want is to love you—that, if i may ask you to allow me to.”

“…”

failed to earn a response, kazuha sighed, inching closer to you. he took your trembling hands in his warm ones, “i have known you for years, these feelings of yours all surface from the thought of yours that you are not deserving of anything, less worthy than anyone else. have i ever made you feel that way?”

“never.” albeit the anxiousness welling in the pit of your gut, you finally looked into his eyes. you almost regret doing so.

kazuha looked so pretty, yet devastation is evident on his face. he tried his best to quell the pulsating feeling in his head. “i do not want anything in return, keep that in mind. your mind is thinking too much at this moment and your emotions are all over the place, so i’ll let you be. take your time, and when you are done settling things with yourself, tell me thus, i’ll know when i should find you.”

“thank you.” you hold back the tear threatening to escape your eyes.

“we’ve been close friends for years, i know you,” a giggle escaped from his mouth, “you’re probably thinking right now that ‘what if i take a long time-”

“stop reading my thoughts!” you shoved him away playfully, huffing afterward.

“all right, just know that i’ll wait for you like i always did. take all the time in the world if you needed to, i do not mind! give me the word then i’ll come to you.” the breath of relief from the blonde boy did not go unnoticed by you and you slowly released the tension from your shoulders as well.

“ugh. always with that ever-so-charming attitude of yours.” your eyebrows scrunched and you heard him chuckle. the one that never failed to make your heart flutter.

“you think i’m charming?” he inched his face closer towards yours, this time you did not even budge from your seat, relatively unfazed. his deep red eyes pooling with much confidence. you were just as delighted that he was back to his usual self.

“i hate you.”

“oh yes, you do.” kazuha flashed a smile and raised his hand for a wave as he left his spot.

#kazuha kaedehara #kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #genshin fluff #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha fluff #kazuha angst #kazuha fluff #sia.inks #sia.txt

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cakeboxie · 2 months

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I had to restart his save since it got corrupted- which means it’s time for a new ref!!

I’ve committed to the fact that this man dresses like an 80s dad in any modern au.

Tries very hard to read as the ideal paladin, good morals, strong sense of justice n what have you. He is unfortunately full of trauma and identity issues, fear of his god is a HUGE THING and breaking his oath accidentally is a perpetual anxiety too.

I’ve also decided he has the shittiest, patchy ass beard. Usually he’s clean shaven bc he doesn’t like having facial hair but he’s not quite adept enough with a dagger to shave with one and tries exactly once to shave (failing miserably, much to Astarion’s entertainment) before giving up until act 3 when he buys himself a new razor.

I really should draw him holding the blood of lathander more but that mf is agonizing to draw man there are, so many layers to it.

I finally remembered to draw his glasses on his ref, yippee.

I’m making him an actual dnd character sheet so I’ll probably attach that once it’s done

I’m side tracked I’m supposed to be talking about his lore huh

Whoops

Anyway, tw for abandoment (passing mention) emotional abuse, death (of a parent + en masse,) mental illness that’s being ignored, chronic pain and illness (also being ignored until he can’t)

His actual like- lore lore is below the break.

Born in the underdark, his mom fucked off with him bc the underdark isn’t a great place to live generally speaking, and she had the means. His dad decided last minute to stay in the underdark.

Taken in by the temple of lathander in elturel bc his mother was chronically ill and not expecting or able to be making this kind of journey on her own with a very small child. Ended up being moved from the temple to a hospital after it was determined that she probably wasn’t getting better.

Charlie ended up being mostly raised by the temple, went to school there and was taught how to read and write + basic math. But spent most of his free time working to pay for his mother’s (and soon his own) medication.

Turns out the of the myriad of issues his mother delt with (migraines, persistent nausea and dizziness, chronic joint issues) were genetic, so by time he hit puberty he was working his ass off to pay for it.

You may ask me “cake, didn’t that aggravate his joint issues?” Yes. Badly. He was not given any other options, the fact that they were alive at all was a godsend (I use the word godsend intentionally, he believes, strongly, that lathander is keeping him alive for some reason beyond his understanding, that is the root of his devotion.)

Did you order mommy issues? Hope so bc he has them in spades. You can only be hear your dying mom say she regrets saving you life as a literal toddler so many times before it starts fucking you up, and she said it (and other delightful(/sarc) things) plenty in the months leading up to when she died.

Shortly after her death, and suddenly needing to work way less (his medication was significantly cheaper than his mothers) he devoted himself to the temple, and was eventually approached bc some kids he went to school with to see if he wanted to join their little class thing. The temple liked to train their folks in groups of 4, in hopes of building strong teams should they choose to stay together.

He agreed, and found out that the temple would pay for his medication in exchange for dedicating himself fully to his training and his studies (and occasionally them using him as a scout, being small, naturally stealthy, and decently quick had its advantages.)

Took his oath with one of the other people he was trained alongside when he was 17, and they were collectively sent to continue their training at the nearby Fort Morninglord.

Things were solid, until he was sent along with a group of seniors to Baldurs Gate as a sort of test to see how he would do on a longer mission before officially joining the Order of the Aster.

He did well, all things considered. Unfortunately between him leaving and returning is when Fort Morninglord got eaten by the shadowfell for some reason. (That’s a canon event btw)

So, with all his friends presumably dead, maybe worse, and all his shit left inside a heavily guarded, very cursed fort. He did the reasonable thing, and fucked right off.

He ended up joining one of the seniors he went to Baldur’s Gate with in going to Waterdeep, while they didn’t particularly need another paladin. The temple of lathander in Waterdeep accepted them both until they were able to find stable employment.

Charlie mainly did small jobs for merchants, working as a guard for high value stuff, moving cargo on/off boats, mostly physical labour. It didn’t pay particularly well, but he could afford a little room above a tavern, and his medication.

That’s where he was, and how he lived for almost 130 years until he got wormed.

May or may not be blindly devoted to Lathander bc of… all that. literally any bad thing to occur to him is swiftly written off as a test of his faith, surprising to damn near everyone he is not one for converting people. (He definitely reads like he would though, it’s the theology special interest, there are few gods he won’t speak extensively on. He just defaults to lathander)

Fr though? Having trouble finding a god to worship? Ask him, he will give you an answer or more accurately- a list.

Yknow when you sprinkle random facts into your characters to make them less flat? Yeah my man collects maps, particularly outdated ones.

The only reason he’s not fucked post-worm is bc it fends off the worst of his usual symptoms. He has conflicted feelings about it (on one hand, being able to put honey in his coffee and not feel like his brain is exploding is nice, on the other, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.)

Post game he is left in a… state. He’s gotten used to life with less pain and is absolutely bedridden for a WHILE bc suddenly he’s being hit with his usual pain n symptoms but he’s not used to it anymore so it’s absolutely destroying him.

#cakewrites #cakedraws #baldurs gate tav #bg3 tav #tav #Charlie [tav]#userhaarleps

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the-lincyclopedia · 1 year

Text

On healthy relationships

Recently, I saw a post about how “healthy relationships are built, not found,” which I mostly agree with, but a lot of the advice in the post didn’t resonate with me. I’m not sure if that was because it was bad advice, or if it’s just that humans have different needs and preferences and there are multiple ways to build a healthy relationship, with different ways that work better for different people, or something else.

Regardless, I’m a little over two months into a relationship that is so far the healthiest I’ve ever had, so I figured I’d share some factors that I think are contributing to things going so well for me at present. A lot of this comes back to the fact that I decided before this relationship started that I would rather deal with a fundamental incompatibility by breaking up than by putting either of us in a position of trying to cram ourselves into a place we don’t fit. That feels essential to me, and I also haven’t seen it talked about much when it comes to relationship advice.

So yeah, here’s what I’m very consciously doing because I want my relationship to be healthy if it’s going to exist at all:

1. I’m not pretending to be anything I’m not. This isn’t to say I have zero filter--if an unkind thought pops into my head, I still try not to say it out loud. But I’m not pretending to like things I find boring, or to be okay with behavior I find ethically dubious, or to be more relaxed or cool or whatever than I am, or any of the other many types of pretending that are all too common in the early stages of relationships when people are trying to impress one another. My significant other can take me or leave me as I am, but I’m going to be me regardless.

2. I’m bringing up potential deal-breakers early, in both directions. Before my current significant other and I got together, there was a lot we didn’t know about each other, so after I told him I liked him, I made a list of questions that I needed answers to before making a final decision about whether to date him. (I did this after telling him I liked him because most of the things on the list would have been none of my business if dating hadn’t been on the table.)

But I’m not just asking questions of him; I’m also answering his questions and telling him things that aren’t going to change about me, because there’s stuff about me that I don’t want him to be surprised by later. These have ranged from “I’m asexual” to “the metro area I live in is really important to me and I’m not leaving, even though you live elsewhere” to “I don’t want to have kids” to “here are some things I’ve done in the past that I’m not proud of that you might have feelings about.” I may be going overboard on this, but I would much rather we know these things about each other before we make big commitments to one another than wind up with a nasty shock later.

3. I’m saying no when I want or need to. I was raised in a family where saying no was not encouraged, and because of that, I got into a pattern in relationships where I would do whatever was asked of me, even if I found it exhausting or traumatic--and then, often, I would get upset about doing something that was so hard on me. In recent years, I’ve realized that it’s better--both in romantic relationships and in much of the rest of life--to say no if I’m being asked to do something that I’m going to regret or resent. Depending on my reasons for saying no, sometimes I’m willing to negotiate and other times I’m not, but getting out of the habit of immediately saying yes in all circumstances has been really important for my ability to have healthy relationships.

4. I’m speaking up when something bothers me. My family of origin doesn’t deal well with conflict, and I was very much raised to graciously accept whatever love was tossed my way, regardless of how it felt for me or which of my boundaries it crossed. Reacting with anything other than gratitude and humility was considered ungrateful. But shockingly, that’s not a good way to have a healthy relationship! Even more shockingly, a good partner will want to know when they’ve hurt you or even just bothered you. It has been hard to learn to speak up after a lifetime of being told to hold my tongue, but I’m doing it, and my relationship is so much better for it.

I’ve said here before that becoming the best version of yourself--learning to communicate well, respect people, and handle conflict maturely--is the best way to position yourself well for a healthy relationship. This very much only works when both people are putting in the work. Everything I listed above could be twisted, punished, or taken advantage of in an abusive relationship. This is not a list of tips to keep yourself safe from someone who means badly or is less emotionally mature than you are; it’s an incomplete list of actions that can help you flourish if/when you do hit the relationship jackpot.

I really hope you hit the relationship jackpot.

#a lin original #relationship advice #healthy relationships #relationship posting

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sk-lumen · 2 months

Note

When asking my partner (long term) to drop old habits and love me the way I desire, how many opportunities should I give them to grow as a person?

I don't want to give up straight away but l also feel that allowing old negative behaviours to continue is counter productive to my glow up.

💕

Hi dear,

Firstly, I'm proud of you for committing to your glow up journey! 💖

This is a tricky one. Because there's a fine line between changing how someone is intrinsically, and asking them to get their % together. The two can even be mixed up by the other person, where you're asking (for years on end) to let go of a toxic habit, but they view it as an attack to their person because it's so ingrained in them.

The truth is, you can't change other people. You can't scold, chastize, persuade or pressure them into changing. And even if they do, they'll be resentful for it and switch back soon enough. The only authentic change is when the choice comes from within them, because they genuinely want to. And that happens by communicating your needs, stating your boundaries (read below for that) and leaving the topic alone. See if he improves by the end of term, and if he doesn't, leave.

But to give a clear answer, if this is indeed a long-term, committed partner that deserves your time: I would suggest up to 3 chances, and a maximum of 1 year. Yes, that's it. I think one year is more than ample time to give up gambling, drinking, or starting a fitness journey, or going to therapy to remedy some toxic behaviour, or anything else of the sort. And when that year is up and the results aren't there, actually be 100% ready to end things.

Anything beyond 1 year is just giving him a pass and enabling bad behaviour and making excuses for him. All of which are at the expense of your youth and energy and time. Not to mention, you lose their respect; you're teaching them it's okay to mistreat you and that they'll get away with anything.

I stayed 4 years too long in a committed relationship because I thought he would change toxic habits - he never did, it was just a vicious cycle of me detaching, them begging and promising to change, showing good behaviour for some months, and then falling back into old habits. There's no point for regrets, I didn't know any better.

It's part of my story and experience and I learned a lot of things from it. But don't repeat the same mistakes, or learn this lesson the hard way.

-Lumen

#high value dating #sk lumen #high value woman #glow up #growth mindset #leveling up #dating advice #ask #relationship tips #that girl #clean girl

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dawningfairytale · 1 year

Text

a metric fuck-tonne of rtc incorrect quotes

Ocean: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Constance: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Ocean: Yes! Noel: And I thought your life couldn't get any sadder. Constance: Maybe you, I'm a damn delight.

Constance: Noel, keep an eye on Ocean today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Noel: Sure, I’d love to see Ocean get punched. Constance: Try again. Noel, sighing: I will stop Ocean from getting punched.

Ocean: Penny and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Noel: Sighing What did Penny do? Ocean: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and… Penny: Who wants a steering wheel?

Ocean: Ugh. I'm going to regret asking this, but why are you on the floor? Noel: I'm depressed. Noel: Also I was stabbed, can you get Mischa, please.

Ricky (through an aac): We need to get through this locked door. Constance, give me your credit card. Constance: Here! Ricky, pocketing it (still through an aac): Thanks. Mischa, kick down the door.

Ricky (through an aac): My dear, if I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Penny: How am I supposed to know? Noel (shouting from the kitchen): You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Penny: sighs Penny: You wouldn't be trapped.

Constance: Dandelions symbolise everything I want to be in life Ricky (using an aac): Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Constance: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Mischa: edible

Noel: Mischa stole from me first! Ocean: Mhm. Noel: Stole my heart… Ocean: It is still illegal to commit murder. Penny: Only if you get caught.

Mischa: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Ocean: Mischa no. Constance: Mistlefoe. Ocean: Please stop encouraging them. Constance: Sorry! ;)

Ricky: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Penny: What's that? Ricky (through an aac): Remorse code. Penny: I'm even angrier now.

Constance: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Ocean: Does anyone in this gosh darned group ever think before they speak? Constance: Sorry, Ocean! I love you. Ocean: That's the only reasonable thing I've heard come out of your mouth this week. Constance: Ocean: Love you too.

Constance: Ocean! My face is on fire! Ocean: Constance! Are you ok?! Constance: Sorry, I'm fine! I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Ocean: But your face is on fire. Constance: Yes! It's much faster than shaving.

Karnak, negotiating with Noel: We have Ocean. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed Ocean: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars? Noel: Karnak: Ocean: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Noel: OCEAN SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH YOU'RE LUCKY I'M RESCUING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE

Ocean: WHY. why did you give Noel a KNIFE?! Penny: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Ocean: Now I feel unsafe! Penny: I’m sorry. Penny: … would you like a knife?

Ocean: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Constance: Okay, but in my defense, Mischa bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Ocean: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?! Ricky (through an aac): For 50 cents? Weak.

Constance: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. Mischa: You were flirting with Ocean. Constance: So what? She's my wife! Mischa: You asked her if she was single. Constance: Mischa: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.

Penny: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Ocean: You are not what the world needs. Noel: But you are a coward. DO TWENTY.

Noel: Care for another sundae, weenie? Ocean: I am not a weenie! Ricky (through an aac): Relax, you’re among friends. raises their drink Ocean: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s. Mischa: You tell ‘em, Ocean! sips their drink Noel (betrayed): Mischa, what’re you doing here? Mischa (equally as betrayed): I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

Constance: Hi, I know I of all people should be able to tell, but is Ocean sleeping or dead? Noel: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Ricky (through an aac device): Yeah, so did I. Ocean: Okay first of all, how dare you-

Ocean: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Noel: Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Ricky (through an aac device): Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Constance: Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Noel: Tonight, one of you will piss me off. Constance: Is it me, Noel? Noel: No, it’s not you. Ricky (through an aac device): Is it me, Noel? Noel: It’s not you either. Ocean: Is it me, Noel? Noel: Noel, mockingly: Is IT mE Noel? What the fuck do you think.

Ocean: How did none of you hear what I just said? Ricky (using an aac device): I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Constance: I got distracted about halfway through, sorry! Noel: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Ocean, about Mischa: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Noel (slightly too eager): Are we stealing them? Ricky (using an aac): New or used? Constance: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Ricky (using an aac): Self care is actually getting into fights with dog aliens who suppress cat aliens' rights on strange planets. Ocean: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Constance: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Noel: Lmao self care is taking Ocean's birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Ocean: If you touch the birthday cake Constance made for me I’ll make you eat your hands.

Constance, setting down a card: Ace of spades RIcky, pulling out an Uno card that says: +4 Noel, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Ocean, trembling: What are we playing?

Mischa (referring to Ocean): I prevented a murder today! :D Talia: Really? How’d you do that? Mischa: self control.

Mischa: I actually have a black belt. Noel: In what, karate? Mischa: No, from Gucci. Mischa: Admittedly, I stole it from my adoptive mother. She didn't even realise it was gone.

Noel: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Noel: i became more evil if you’re curious Constance: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Noel: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Constance: Stubs their toe FUCK! Ocean: Mind your language! Constance: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Ocean: Constance: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Mischa: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Talia: What did you my love? Mischa: A MISTAKE

Mischa: You're like 10 times funnier and sexier than me Talia: 10 times infinity is still infinity though Mischa: Jokes on you, I'm too bisexual to do math Talia: My love, so am I, but I have common sense (and that's how passionflower came out to each other)

Talia: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Mischa: Twelve, actually. Talia: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Mischa: Mine! Talia: That's right: no one's.

#ride the cyclone #rtc #noel gruber #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #penny lamb #mischa bachinski #ricky potts #rtc incorrect quotes #i included some of the pre-k choir (like not when they were that age but like ocean ricky constance noel)#blackrose #passionfruit #spacedolls #passionflower #please dont tag as any other ship!!#please dont tag as siblings/relatives #long post

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oldestenemy · 3 months

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a deviation in loyalties - pt 2

Part 1 / whole series

“Well, look who it is. Curse breaker, Banshees Bane! I had a feeling you would catch on.” Gretta doesn’t flinch under their gaze, despite the intensity that they wish could set her aflame like the rest of the street. “I had my eye on you in the beginning you know, you could have been such a promising recruit to our ranks—better than that dingbat you have standing in your shadow—”

“—Shut up!” They snap as they step towards her, feeling the tremors begin to pulse through their bones. “This whole time—from the start—you gave Malistaire information on the Krokonomicon, you set him off on his quest to wake the dragon titan—you, you—” Their words go dark and triple over, burning cold is seeping down their cheeks, anger and Shadow itching outward, outward.

“Wizard?” Mellori sounds scared—about time too—add her to the list with all their other friends.

“Don’t—” they hear Duncan say behind them, see out the corner of their vision as he raises an arm to block Mellori from moving towards them. “—stay back. Trust me.”

“I don’t fear you, Ambrose and the Arcanum might think you’re an asset or at the very least a dangerous ally—oh yes, that’s right we know of the Arcanum, and they know of us.” Gretta smiles, sharp and dangerous, “But they never said, did they? And now you’ll never get to learn the truth.”

What does any of it matter?

Truth.

Lies.

Discovery.

Deception.

“I don’t care,” The wizard replies, words empty and cold “all of you—that’s your mistake—expecting me to care about what the Arcanum wants or thinks when I barely know any of them, when they barely trust me, expecting me to give a damn about Merle Ambrose—No, what I care about—” Duel circle flickering to life beneath their feet, Duncan moving away from Mellori and joining at their side without a word. “—is the reason I was hailed a hero for committing murder at fourteen,” Like the second battle with Duncan, this is like breathing, traps up, blades down. “the reason Cyrus Drake sometimes can’t look at me for fear of what he sees,” The feeling from Nidavellir is back. The creeping danger of something about to go wrong. “the reason I was ripped out of my own life—whether you were aware of it or not.”

“You could have been one of us!” Gretta spits back at them, but her beguile doesn’t have a chance to kick in. Between the summons to the Celestial Calendar, and Duncan’s feint going off, Gretta is blasted out of the circle as it vanishes. “Ione thought so,” She chokes through the settling dust, “you’re right to believe they don’t trust you. But it matters little now—Time slips away like sand between fingers—and you will all be on the wrong side when it runs out!”

The wizard lurches forward as Gretta mounts her broomstick—one hand tightening on their staff, the other curled into a fist with nails threatening to draw blood in their own palm—but finds themself jerked away before they can follow, and Gretta disappears through the top of the cave.

No, no no they want this dealt with, they want justice, they want retribution—

They can feel their skin crawling—

Can feel the urge to dissolve—

Furious, spell-less, they swing their fist around towards whoever had grabbed them—and it collides with a thump! across the side of Duncan’s jaw. Not particularly hard, strong as they are they haven’t actually been in a physical fight in…too many years to count now. Pain radiates through their fingers and hand from a poorly held grip. They probably hurt themself more than him…

“Why did you stop me!” They shake Duncan off with ease while he pushes gingerly at his jaw, a glare matched between them.

“You would have regretted it later!”

He’s right.

“You don’t know that!” Except he really very much does. Him and the rest of wizard city’s necromancers. After following them into Nidavellir. After forcing their way through Darkmoor together. Out of everyone.

“Yes I do! Maybe you would have justified it in the moment, she probably even deserves it! But you would have torn yourself to pieces over it for the rest of your life just like you do over all the other blood on your hands.”

All the other blood.

A mix of red and blue and sometimes gold or inky black.

They step back.

Arms both limp at their sides.

“Uhhh…” Mellori’s voice shakes them back to the present. “I’m gonna go fill Ambrose in on this—and get permission to go to Mirage—wizard, you should go tell the Arcanum what happened.”

Right.

The swirl of all consuming rage blinks out as though they’ve been doused in cold water.

The sands of time.

Old Cob.

They mumble an affirmative to Mellori and she darts off, seeming a little more eager than she usually would be to leave their side. They can’t blame her.

Duncan walks with them back to Ravenwood in silence.

The wizard tries the whole walk to wrap their tongue around any of the questions they have.

Did Gretta train him in Shadow?

Did she seek him out after Darkmoor?

Before?

What had she told him? What had the Schismists promised beyond survival? Anything?

Still, there’s only one thing that keeps coming to front.

“Come with me.” It’s quiet, softer than a lot of the things they say nowadays.

Duncan huffs, barely looking over “Don’t pity me, I don’t need it from you.”

“I mean it, Duncan—you clearly want out of here—come to Mirage with me.”

“Like the Arcanum is going to want someone hanging around that dealt with the Schismists—”

“—I don’t give a damn what the Arcanum wants.” They spit, “I’ve done enough of this alone.”

There is a very long moment of quiet. Where Duncan’s scowl fades out into thoughtfulness and then eventually something more like guilt. “I can’t,” It’s a sharp little drop of a statement, like metal thrown down on glass. “I’m sorry.”

Breathe, breathe dammit. “It’s alright,” They force a smile, they can feel how tight it is, how fake it’s going to look. Especially to someone who has seen how seldom they truly smile. “but if you change your mind—”

“—I know how to find you.”

More than most.

“Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know, I’m technically still a student, I don’t think I can face Dragonspyre right now—I—”

He trails off and the wizard has a thought.

A good one.

Potentially.

If they can get him there, and if they can say the right things, push the right buttons.

“I could make a suggestion—since Dragonspyre is out, and I don’t think you want to hide in the Gryphonbane’s house forever—” They pause, partially for effect, partially to guage his reaction. “—join the Arcanum.”

He laughs. Startled but genuine. “Absolutely not.”

The wizard takes his hand anyways, because he’s made the mistake of walking them into Bartleby, because it’s easy, before he can continue to protest. And then they are standing by the Spiral Door for the Arcanum.

They watch his eyes go wide in something that is caught between anger and apprehension. They ignore it. “Follow me.”

“Wizard—no—”

“—Just—trust me.”

They half-drag Duncan along through the Panopticon, heading directly for the Hall of Storm—in front of which Librarian Fitzhume is flapping, looking incredibly distressed.

“Where exactly do you think you’re going!”

“In.” They snap the word with more force than needed. They don’t have time for beaurocracy. They don’t have time for polite, or protocol.

“Ione is not to be disturbed at present—she’s—excuse me!”

“Thank you, Fitzhume.” The wizard pushes past him, throwing the office door open.

“You dare storm into my office? With a stranger no less—”

The wizard cuts over her, “We confronted Gretta Darkkettle, and she’s lead me to believe that you’re not telling me everything. If I’m going to stop whatever Old Cob is planning—”

“Spider.”

“—I don’t care what we’re deciding to call him, I dragged him from the Black Hole, I will call him old man eight legs if I so please. You lied to me about knowing who the Schismists were and what they were after—you need to tell me the rest, now.”

“You confronted a high ranking agent of the Schism? I am…shocked.”

The wizard bites down on a scoff. As though they could have ended up doing anything else. Time is running out—quite literally out. But they speed through the explanation in the hopes that it will get them to answers. They need to get back to Mirage. Soon.

“And what of your, friend?” Ione asks, “We are aware of his allyship to the schismists, he is—”

“—Prior,” the wizard corrects, sensing that they are pushing their luck with every new time they cut across Ione’s words. “and I’m willing to vouch for him, as is Baba Yaga’s daughter Mellori, and Cyrus Drake of Ravenwood Academy.”

“Wizard—” Duncan starts in and they don’t give him a chance.

“—shut up.” They don’t take their eyes from Ione, “I want you to initiate him into the Arcanum so he can study under Qismah and Von Venkman.”

“Ah, so he is tainted.”

Of the pair, Duncan is the only one who notices the way the wizard goes rigid at those words. Sees the hand gripping their staff go lighter at the knuckles. Feels the other that hasn’t released his hand tighten almost to the point of pain. He expects it when their next words come out in triplicate.

“He is under my protection. Shadow magic is not a stain on the spiral, it’s a reflection of things already there, knowledge to be gained, techniques to be understood. Like anything else.”

“A child’s naive hope.”

“A child,” The wizard echoes softly, “I haven’t been a child since Dragonspyre. I certainly wasn’t a child when I touched Shadow, and I am not one now. Do not do me the disservice of treating me as one.”

There is a long heavy moment of silence.

And Ione nods.

“Very well, Understudy.” There is a resigned frustration to her voice, perhaps because she too is aware there is little time to argue at present. “Return to your work in Mirage, I believe Mellori has already made her way there. And you—” Ione stares Duncan down, “—provided you pass the exam, welcome aboard, Initiate Grimwater.”

#stevie i hear you cry. slow the fuck down #i will not #wizard101 #wizard101 fic #wizzy fandom #w101 #wizard101 fanfiction #wizard101 fanfic #wizard101 fandom #duncan grimwater #mellori #arc 3 #this is a gretta darkkettle hate page

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tathrin · 1 year

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i’m so in love with your AU, especially the parts where Gimli is being influenced / hearing the whispers of his ring!! i love hearing Gimli’s inner workings and thoughts as he’s further being corrupted. im not sure where I got the idea that dwarves are more resilient to the influence of the ring (not sure if this is from canon or fanon or just vibes ach) but it’s really fascinating to read your story with the thought that dwarves are resilient (ESPECIALLY GIMLI!!! the knight in shining armour who in the movies literally immediately tried to destroy the ring) and seeing just how far gone Gimli has gone to justify the corruption to himself. its like Gimli is an unmoveable rock and his ring Knows This, so it has chipped away at him slowly, until he withered away and has become something unrecognisable. given what it took for legolas to recognise gimli fully and completely (him taking off his ring) it seems this is already in effect!! but somehow though despite the corruption and the pain going on here i still Trust gimli, isn’t that insane? 😅 it’s like yeah he’s definitely being influenced by evil energy and yeah he’s committed war crimes but also he’s Gimli so that’s okay 🫶 no but in all honesty i feel like how legolas did first seeing him, couldn’t recognise him at first but once i did i flinched back in fear at the dark lord of erebor i saw!! (but also i just feel like when it comes to gimli i cant lose hope!) maybe he snaps out of the evil influence, maybe he falls further into its hold!! who knows what’s gonna happen in this AU? cant wait to read more! <3 (also many apologies for the HUGE chunk of text 😅)

Oh my gods don’t APOLOGIZE for this, I am flailing over it. I am writhing on the floor making happy screams. Thank you ahhhh I am so glad you like it, thank you! And I’m going to respond by rambling my ass off at you, so I hope you don’t regret it too much ahaha. But like. yes! Gimli IS the knight in shining armor! The unmovable rock! The incorruptible pillar! But now...

Well, now I have to justify a dark take on him in this weird-ass AU idea that bopped me on the head out of nowhere lmao. So I’m going to just gush my thoughts out at you incoherently, and see if I can A: get them a little more concrete in my head and B: see what you think! (This is what you get for engaging with me I’m so sorry. You stuck your finger through the cage and now I’m gnawing on it excitedly lol.)

You’re right about Dwarves and the Rings btw, the original Seven Rings couldn’t corrupt the Dwarves the way they did Men (no Ringwraithdwarves lol) they basically just gave them Severe Goldsickness, iirc. But! it’s not gold that Gimli wants! Over him gold shall have no dominion. So that wouldn’t be a very viable way of getting to his heart, silly Ring. So basically where my head went was, the Rings work by corrupting a person’s goodness not by just like. mustache twirling mwa-ha-ha evilness, right? They get to you by offering you what you want, not what the Dark Lord wants; that’s how they hook you, anyway, and then it shifts and drags you down with it into what It wants...but that’s how it starts.

With Frodo, the way the Ring got to him was through him showing Gollum mercy, basically: the whole “I won’t kill you, but if you attack me again you’ll be thrown into fire!” thing. Sure it was wearing him down all along in little ways, but that was where the Ring got its final major defining “in” with him. With Boromir, it was “hey do you want strength to defend your city?” and yeah, of course he does! Who wouldn’t? That’s a viable desire!

So with Gimli, Durin’s Ring has really been working with not a lot so far, tbh.

It’s certainly been enacting influence! Twisting, corrupting, cajoling; chipping away, as you said. A year ago, he wouldn’t have been able to bring himself to do X...but a year ago, he had to do Y. And doing Y makes doing X easier to bear; that’s how corruption works. And the Ring has certainly been working hard. But it just hasn’t been able to get much of a grip.

Because Gimli is compromising his sense of right and wrong for the sake of the greater good, sure; but that was less about the Ring on his hand luring him in than it was about the fact that all of Middle-earth has been conquered by a Dark Lord, so there are no good choices left. Do you defy Gondor and watch your people be slaughtered on the altar of your pride? Or do you bend your knee and try to keep them alive as best you can? Gimli chose the latter, and that’s led to a terrible (and slowly corrupting) struggle, because he has to side with evil “for the sake of his people” and accept, allow, and sometimes even order evil things done, and there’s no good way off that road to hell once you start walking it (especially in Tolkien) — but he hasn’t really needed (or wanted) the power of the Ring. Yet.

Now all of a sudden here’s Legolas in chains before him, and elves are the one thing in Middle-earth who don’t get the option of “bend your knee to the bad guy and live, or defy him and die” — for them, it’s just die. And of course Gimli doesn’t want to stand back and watch Legolas die. But maybe Gimli can save him! He’s the Lord of Erebor! He has a Ring of Power! He should be able to do something to save him...right!?

And that’s how the Ring is (finally!) getting its big “in” with him here.

He’s already compromised himself so much, he thinks; he’s already got so much blood on his hands, spilt to save his people. He’s watched children in Dale starve, because he doesn’t dare give them food the Dark Lord doesn’t think their people have earned. He’s watched Mirkwood burn and stood behind his walls and done nothing. He’s let elves be worked to death in his mines. He’s accepted a Ring of Power, and all it’s done has been to leave him even more powerless than before. He’s stood back while good people were executed, because nothing he said could have saved them and daring to try would have only made more trouble for the people depending on him. He’s pledged his allegiance, and that of his people, to a monster for the sake of making sure the dwarves who rely on him live to see another day. He’s already damned. So what else does he have to lose?

Well. Legolas’s life, as it turns out. And if the Ring can save him...well.

Gimli is such a good, strong person. He’s never wanted power for himself, or lordship, or anything like that. He just wants to save people, to protect them. And just like with Boromir, the Ring is going to offer him the power to do that, and that might be what pushes him over the edge from slowly damning himself by making the best of increasingly bad choices...to falling off the edge into total darkness.

But we’ll see! I have no idea where this story is going to go, so maybe it’ll be a story of salvation! Or maybe it won’t. We get to find out together. Yay?

#you have the best insights into gimli #i am gnawing on my fingers to know what you think ahhh #galadrielspeaks #gimli #gimli dark lord of erebor au #lotr #lotr au #my writing #gimleaf

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arrenlebanen777 · 1 year

Text

LIFE OBSERVATIONS ❁❁❁

I see a lot of men crying about women/female nature and how they were manipulated/cheated/ betrayed and then they go to the gym to grow from pain, but they only become colder/ narcissistic/ egotistical and this stupid villain archetype that gets you pretty empty arguing and crying about women's bodycount/ their loose s*x lives/etc... But the stupidest thing is that the highest percentage of humans who consume p*rn, onlyfans, and all that shit are men, WTF?, if you see that this is happening it is mostly because we are allowing it. if men were really picky(mature), if we learned to manage our s*xual energy better, if we became more sensitive to life and less to our egos(minds), if we find something more transcendental than our beliefs/thoughts/feelings, and we become really clear about what we want from life/relationships and know what our real needs are...well, nothing of this would be happening. This whole issue of relationships/dating is something quite psychological and energetic, women are looking for the father figure that they did not have or had but is no longer in their lives in other mens, looking for the father archetype’s in each man (someone economically stable, independent, emotionally intelligent, funny, masculine, strong, wise, attractive, adventurous) and let me tell you that this is called: Divine masculine (the same thing happens with men). Why do men only look for s*x? Because if they unconsciously/instinctively see that a woman has nothing more to contribute/offer to a relationship other than demands and s*x, then they will only look for what gives them pleasure the most, that is s*x, and then they will forget about her / this goes both ways, and this my friends is called “Hookup Culture”. The funny thing is that as long men and women don't find something more transcendental than society, Ego, their minds and themselves... they will only continue to become more perverted, stupid, with shitty mental health’s, making decisions they regret, s*xually dirty /nasty because they don't know anything more transcendental than that. Also i noticed that depressed people are mostly sensitive people who don’t fit in with the superficialities of the society/world and well, traumas, childhood issues and all that too. Another thing, therapy is a very powerful / important but delicate process, so trying to do therapy on your own is like trying to do surgery on your own, because you are treating something very important but delicate that is your mind/mental health. Also therapy can make you really attractive, not the attractiveness of the Ego or Narcissism but genuinely attractiveness, Yes you can do the route of Ego attractiveness, it’s Okay, nothing is stopping you but see how it goes on the long run, it could make you feel very empty and is a really really hard working process, and therapy is a healing process, but you have to know how to go to therapy and this is where people stagnate or do not have good “results”, because many go to therapy just because they want to heal or be treated but they do not know very well what they need/want to heal, so my recommendation is to make a list of things that you want to treat in therapy, because that will open the doors and possibilities of your deep healing. So don't do things like self-diagnose and stuff like that because it's a pretty stupid move for your evolution/process. Another thing, if someone did you wrong or did hurt you your job is take care of yourself, of course you could talk with your friends about the issue and with your therapist, but is not your job destroying the life of that person, actually that is very nasty and it leads nowhere, because starting to destroy/expose the lives of the people who hurt you so that other people practically destroy them, you are committing a horrible crime, you are practically leaving no room for error and growth, which is part of human nature, you are practically using again the tyrannical practices that the Nazis did, yes I know it is painful, but your job is to take care of yourself, heal and move on, not destroy someone else's life, and if you think they should pay, believe me they will pay, Saturn will take care of that, don't worry. 🌿If you wanna see more posts like this, tell me on the comments<3🌿

#life #therapy #healing #astro community #spirituality #spiritual journey #spiritualawakening #spiritualgrowth #healing process #life process #astrology blog #saturn

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nilboxes · 9 months

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Kaleb Cross comes home to you in the middle of the night after completing a job and wakes you up for his needs.

Kaleb Cross/Gender Neutral Reader. Explicit. PWP, throatfucking and more.

Extensive notes and ramblings below.

Haha. Looking through all the Kaleb Cross art while really sleepy and I'm like yeah let's use my limited brain power to write something extremely horny. No regrets tbh👍

What with being a PWP and very trying to be gender neutral, I couldn't insert much in here, but I have thought long and hard, a lot of times, about how Revrev was like before he was uploaded into a bot.

Idk but there's two lines that give us a glimpse into how he was before "he used to need a reason to kill, but now he's not that man anymore" regarding Revenant and "Kaleb Cross has no morals" so they are kinda contradictory but I'm trying to wrap my head around it

IMO I think as a human "he needs a reason" is just... "Hammond said the guy should pay" is a reason enough (and as Rev he just kills indiscriminately if/when he can). I also feel like he's sadistic with adults but the kids of his targets he offs quick and painless, sparing them the anguish of having their life flipped upside down, also it just reduces revenge-plots on him down the line (Loba lmao) considering he was rather old for a hitman (44?!?!?! old man) I do really believe he excelled in his job in all manner of aspects. I imagine he'd do stuff like social engineering (ding dong hello it's ur cable guy) and thus would be a rather well-rounded individual capable of a range of human emotion.

That's a long-winded way to say I do imagine Kaleb Cross kept some manner of relationships with others, probably a lover, or a bunch of them even. I don't think he'd commit to one and if it were only just one it wouldn't be sunshine and roses. Sex would be amazeballs, but he'd be toxic in all the other ways. I hc in this he doesn't remove his clothes during sex, especially when he's in his handsome hitman gear (the suit) kinda like his equivalent of a leather dom gear lmao but it's mostly a demonstration and immersion of himself in his element of power. That's how I imagined him here in this fic, he just completed a kill and he's sooo on top of the world and he's full of horny. Suit's on, dick's out.

In the Revtane fic I imply he did have a relationship too, and when I was writing this I imagine the "reader" and the relationship he had bittersweet memories of are the same. I always imagine if he were to have a relationship that the person would definitely know he's a hitman, would also be a part of the syndicate in a way or another (therefore somehow Outlands upperclass with a significant backing/power) and be familiar with the kind of sociopathy it takes to be on top. So, def it's a toxic relationship on both sides, but it somehow works. There's love there I GUESS but it's not a normal, domestic bliss kinda love... also yes I do really think he's gay af (even if a femme person dressed him he wouldn't look like that I s2g) but for delulu purposes I made it gender neutral

Anyway yes all that for a 1.7k word fic haha. I have so many ideas for the revtane fic I'm writing but I'm letting that one stew even more.

#voidmancer writes #apex revenant #revenant apex legends #apex legends #revenant x reader #revenant x gender neutral reader #kaleb cross #kaleb cross x reader #kaleb cross x gender neutral reader #headcanons #revenant apex legends headcanons

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brown-little-robin · 9 months

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oc ask game: 4, 8, 9, 10 - for four AND/OR pearl (beloveds) pretty please!

Absolutely, my dear!! <3

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Four freezes (gets away from reality by choosing to simply Not Experience whatever he's experiencing, thanks,,) and fawns. Fawn, for him, looks like gauging what the most powerful person in his life will like and then getting very good at that. He comes off as a "teacher's pet" kind of person. It can get annoying sometimes, especially when paired with his freeze response—if he isn't trying to appease or impress anyone, he's often miles away in his own head, which makes him seem like he simply Doesn't Care.

When physically scared, Pearl freezes. She physically can't run or dodge, and she's not terribly strong, so that's pretty much her only option. When emotionally scared, Pearl defaults to fighting. She has a brutal, deceptively calm way of verbally lashing out.

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Four? Yes. He has super-speed, which is just an unfair advantage, and no one would suspect him because he's so committed to being a good Catholic. If the Flashfam even figured out that a speedster had killed someone, everyone would be blaming Six, or Nine, or Five, and Four would be wayyy down on the bottom of the list. Even Inertia (his most impulsive alter) could get away with murder.

Pearl? No, probably not. She has few resources and her movements are easily tracked in and out of the clown homeless shelter she lives at. She would not find it easy to murder someone in the first place, let alone get away with it. However, Pearl is much more likely to try murder than Four is, haha!

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

YES. Four's lyric is "I was born a weary soul / already tired of this world / how did I end up here / how did I?" from Weary Soul by Young Waters. Also "My father's house shines hard and bright / It stands like a beacon calling me in the night / Calling and calling so cold and alone / Shining 'cross this dark highway where our sins lie unatoned" from Bruce Springsteen's My Father's House.

For Pearl, a new oc, I only have one lyric I strongly associate with her, and it's the chorus from Dirty Night Clowns by Chris Garneau: "I can't clear the leaves from here / They're too far under the brush this year..." It's less about the words, more about the vibes, tbh. Regret and self-disgust, pleading to be understood and helped.

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

For Four, it would be interesting to see an AU where he interacted physically with the other clones instead of just directing their development from afar. For instance, what about a sci-fi kind of AU where the clones were insectoid and Four (as a fellow worker) occasionally checked up on them / delivered food to them?

It would also be fascinating to set Four in a no-powers AU. See what his complicated backstory would translate to in a world where perhaps he was just the Favorite Child in a large family run by their grandfather.

For Pearl... oh boy, I would love to see Pearl in a fantasy AU! She'd be some kind of defective dragon, maybe, a lindwurm or a living doll. Whereas Rudy would probably stay a clown of some sort in a fantasy AU; he'd just also be a werewolf. Pearl's character concept isn't centrally based on being a clown, but on being beautiful at first glance and then horrifying—and then you get to know her and it turns out she's just a person.

#!!!!#clones asks #pearl the porcelain clown

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