#Committing our souls to Jesus

[doulafaith]

Christ's Breakthrough

“His Abide”  Reading  Reflecting Responding To God’s Word while Walking it Out Context: Matthew 27: 1-66 Focus:  Matthew 27:51-52 “At that moment the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked and the rocks were split. The tombs broke open, and the bodies of many saints who had fallen asleep were raised.” Matthew 27: 51-52 Definition: Breakthrough – a military…

View On WordPress

#abandoned #Committing our souls to Jesus #Complete atonement #Darkness over the Whole Earth #Ephesians 5:25-31 #forsaken #Genesis 2: 21-23 #Hebrews 12:5 #Hebrews 13:5 #Isaiah 26:17-18 #Jesus took on our condemnation #John 19:34 #Luke 23:34 #Luke 23:46 #Matthew 27:51-52 #Neither abandoned nor Forsaken #Psalm 119:105 #Released into the Father&039;s Hand #Romans 8:1 #Romans 8:39 #When Darkness Covered the Earth

[christians-united-by-love]

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Hello! My name is Dakota, and I am many things. I'm Autistic, an avid fan of Warrior Cats, Pokémon, FNAF, TMNT, etc, a cat parent, a college student, genderqueer, arospec, pan, poly, and a partner to two amazing people! I'm also a Christian! I was born and raised under the Catholic faith, even baptized. I don't follow any specific branch of Christianity, and focus more on my relationship to my lord and savior Jesus Christ!

I want to find more people who can relate. I often feel torn between my sexuality/gender and my faith. I constantly see and hear things about how being queer is a sin, or that God hates people like us for simply being ourselves. I see and hear people claim you cannot be a Christian and also LGBTQ+. On the flip side, I've had people not believe when I say I'm queer and especially non-binary because I'm Christian, as if I can't love Jesus and believe in him while also expressing how I feel inside in terms of gender identity. It makes me feel like maybe Jesus doesn't love or want me, and doesn't find me pure enough to ever enter the holy kingdom of Heaven, being able to meet Him, God, and my deceased loved ones who are now angels.

However, I have learned that Jesus and God loves all of us. Jesus died for human sins, so that we are forgiven and our souls are saved, regardless of sin and imperfections. All He asks is that we believe in Him, worship Him, and try to follow His word- Love. I try my best to live my life with love in my heart and kindness in my actions, to speak the language of Christ and to love thy neighbor. While I am far from perfect, that's okay! He does not ask for perfection, He asks for our faith, our commitment, our repentance, our morality, our good intentions, our just actions, and to spread the universal language of love and kindness, aka the language of Christ that anyone from all walks of life deserves. If we try and we believe, and have good, moral intentions to do good and do right by our fellow humans, that is enough for Him to wrap you with His embrace of warmth and light. LGBT people are not an exception to this. We are made in His image! And we are beautiful, wonderful, perfectly imperfect, children of God. Jesus's saved. Whole and beloved.

This blog is meant to be a Christian oriented space, however, people from all religions are more than welcome to interact with posts or DM to say hello! All I ask is that respect and kindness are maintained, and that hateful comments or arguments aren't made- this includes homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, misogyny, racism, xenophobia, ableism, sanism, fatphobia, islamophobia, antisemitism, anti-Christian sentiment, etc.

I will not be putting "Tw: Christianity/Religion" tags on this blog, purely because 99% of the posts will be somehow related to it. It kinda comes with the territory of being a faith-based blog to begin with. Consider this the official TW for the entire blog. Please block or don't follow if this topic is particularly triggering or activating for you! I want you to feel comfortable, and your mental health comes first! No one should have religion forced onto them- it is something that people will be called to and go to if/once they are ready!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Other Mod Notes:

-Please use xe/they/she pronouns for me!

-Please use tone tags when addressing me directly! Here is a guide to them!

#christians united by love #christian #christianity #christian positivity #inclusive christianity #lgbt christian #religion #theology #kindness #kindness matters #kindness is the language of God #Jesus loves us all #God loves us all #faith #Jesus #God #introduction #i'm not ashamed #Jesus lover

[hopethroughscriptureministries]

The Parable of the Lost Sheep:

Redemption and Restoration

In the parable of the Lost Sheep, Jesus conveys a deep message about the relentless pursuit of redemption and the boundless grace of God. Let us delve into this timeless story and explore its significance in our lives today.

A certain shepherd had a hundred sheep, yet one of them strayed from the fold. Undeterred by the ninety-nine, the shepherd embarked on a relentless search for the lost sheep. He scoured the hills and valleys until, at last, he found the wayward sheep, weary and alone.

Filled with compassion, the shepherd tenderly lifted the sheep onto his shoulders and rejoiced, calling together his friends and neighbors to celebrate the sheep's return. In the same way, Jesus explains, there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance (Luke 15:3-7).

This parable reminds us of the depth of God's love and his unwavering commitment to seek out and restore the lost. Just as the shepherd pursued the lost sheep, so too does our Heavenly Father pursue each one of us with relentless love and compassion.

No matter how far we may have strayed, God's arms are always open wide, ready to welcome us back into His embrace. His grace knows no bounds, and His forgiveness is freely offered to all who humble themselves and turn back to Him.

The parable of the Lost Sheep challenges us to reflect on our own lives and consider those areas where we may have wandered away from God's path. It beckons us to return to the fold, to repent of our sins, and to experience the joy of reconciliation with our Heavenly Father.

Just as the shepherd rejoiced over the lost sheep's return, so too does God rejoice over each one of us when we turn back to Him. Our repentance brings joy to heaven, and our restored relationship with God brings fulfillment and purpose to our lives.

Broader context:

Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:3-7):

This is the main passage where the parable is found.

God's Pursuit of the Lost:

Ezekiel 34:16 - God seeks out the lost and brings them back to safety.

Isaiah 53:6 - We all, like sheep, have gone astray, but the Lord laid on Jesus the iniquity of us all.

Matthew 18:12-14 - Jesus' teaching about the shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to seek the one lost sheep.

Psalm 119:176 - Like a lost sheep, seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.

God's Rejoicing over Repentance:

Luke 15:10 - There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.

Luke 15:32 - It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.

Acts 3:19 - Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out.

God's Unfailing Love and Faithfulness:

Psalm 23:1-3 - The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

Psalm 36:5 - Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Psalm 136:1 - Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

Lamentations 3:22-23 - The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

The Shepherd's Role as a Metaphor for Jesus:

John 10:11 - I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

Hebrews 13:20 - Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant.

Call to Repentance and Restoration:

Joel 2:12-13 - "Yet even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments."

Revelation 3:20 - Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

The Joy of Salvation:

Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Psalm 51:12 - Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Questions:

Have I strayed from God's path, and if so, am I willing to humble myself and turn back to Him?

Do I fully grasp the depth of God's love and His relentless pursuit of me, even in my moments of wandering?

How can I share the message of God's grace and redemption with others who may feel lost or disconnected from Him?

What steps can I take to deepen my relationship with God and experience the fullness of His joy and restoration in my life?

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we thank you for your unwavering love and grace, demonstrated to us through the parable of the Lost Sheep. Give us the courage to humble ourselves, repent of our sins, and return to you with open hearts. May we never forget the depth of your love for us and the joy that comes from being reconciled to you. In Jesus' name, amen.

#ParableOfTheLostSheep #Redemption #Restoration #GodsLove #Grace #Repentance #Reconciliation #Joy #Sermon #Prayer #christian blog #christian faith #compassion #christianlife #christianity #jesus christ #salvation #jesus #god #biblestudy #holy bible #bible verse #bible scripture #christian #bible study #bible #biblicalteachings #biblical studies #lost sheep #good shepherd

[takeme-totheworld]

"You did that to yourself."

(cw: religious indoctrination, religious trauma, conversion therapy no seriously I talk a lot about the ex-gay thing in this one, brief mention of mental health hospitalization)

When you're brought up in a fundamentalist Christian mindset you are trained to constantly keep your attention focused on your "sins."

Which is weird, because supposedly Jesus died for your sins and all you have to do to be saved is believe? That's what they claim, anyway. But of course, if all you had to do to be saved from damnation was believe the thing and pray the prayer, you could then go on your merry way as soon as you'd done that and not have any need for the church ever again. They wouldn't be able to control you that way.

So they find ways to subtly insinuate doubt into your mind, keeping you off-balance and unsure. They tell you that you just have to do this one thing to be saved, that it's so easy, but then they find a million and one ways to encourage you to question whether you really did it right, whether your belief and prayer were sincere enough, whether you're backsliding away from the faith and need to commit anew, whether you've actually been accepted by God or whether you shouldn't examine yourself and your life and your soul extra-rigorously just one more time to make absolutely sure.

So, this religion that claims to free you from sin and damnation and the fear of those things is often a perfect breeding ground for endless self-judgment and scrupulosity. Fun!

(What's really fun is when you love and trust the church so much that you believe their whole freedom from fear and sin and damnation shtick. So, you wonder, why are you so anxious all the time? It must be something wrong with you personally, something broken in your brain. Because the church certainly never did anything to make you feel this way.)

Now imagine that you're a teenager who has had this mindset programmed into you basically from birth, and you start to realize that there's something different about you. You have crushes on the "wrong" people, or you have the "wrong" feelings about your gender, or (insert other queer feelings here).

There are a number of different directions this could go. Queer folks who grew up in fundamentalist churches have lots of different stories. But a lot of us—including me, a teenager of the late 90s/early 00s—became easy prey for crackpot "ex-gay ministries" that drew in vulnerable queer religious youth with promises that we could be cured.

The type of story that's usually told, in the few movies and tv shows out there that attempt to portray conversion therapy, is a story about horrified parents finding gay porn under their kids' beds and then dragging the kids kicking and screaming off to ex-gay camp. That happens, of course, and it's horrible, and it's a story that needs to be told.

What you don't hear about so much are those of us who were already so twisted up into knots of fear and self-loathing by our upbringing that we joined these organizations voluntarily. Asking to be healed.

Because why would anyone do that to themself?

It's a much more uncomfortable story to tell. People who weren't raised in a fundamentalist mindset find it hard to comprehend. But the fact is, a religious organization claiming you can be "cured" of your queerness through faith and prayer (under their particular guidance, of course)—it sounds disturbingly cult-like, because it is, but it's also a natural extension of the kind of psychological control fundamentalist churches already exert over their members.

"Didn't you know there was something wrong? Couldn't you see how fucked up their claims were? Couldn't you tell how creepy and predatory and cult-like the whole vibe of the group was? For that matter, couldn't the religious parent who allowed you to do this, who was thirty years older than you and should have known better, tell?"

NO! Of course not! What in our experience could have possibly equipped either of us to look at this "ministry," that was promising to heal me from my sinful queerness while spouting exactly the same rhetoric we'd both heard in church all our lives, and realize how incredibly destructive it was going to turn out to be?

Seriously, it was basically a bunch of queer teens sitting around confessing our "sinful" thoughts and feelings, talking about everything we thought was wrong with us, vowing to do better, and praying for each other. It wasn't actually that different from my regular church youth group, except that we were all a lot more (openly) depressed and anxious.

...well, and there were a bunch of very severe rules with very severe consequences re: hanging out with each other outside the confines of group meetings and activities, presumably to make sure we didn't all start secretly hooking up with each other. Or, you know. Having conversations with each other about our queerness that weren't aggressively monitored and directed by the ex-gay thought police. (Couldn't let us start thinking that maybe there was nothing wrong with us after all.)

Okay, so the environment actually was more aggressively controlling than my church in rather significant ways. But I'd been raised my whole life to willingly submit to any rules dictated by religious leaders. I did not have the mental tools to look at what this organization was doing and go "Wow, something is really not right here."

I spent three years involved with the particular "ministry" I'd gotten attached to. It came to an abrupt end with a mental health hospitalization when I was in college, an experience that shook me up enough to realize that the ex-gay path was going to destroy me if I stayed on it. I got out of the hospital, moved across the country to live with my other parent and start picking up the pieces, and never went back to my childhood church or the ex-gay group again.

That was almost twenty years ago and the entire ordeal feels like a weird fever dream now when I look back on it. For a long time I did my best to forget the whole thing. These days, for the first time, I'm trying to remember. Partly for my own healing, because I can't live the rest of my life treating those three years like a deep dark shameful secret. But also because I've come to realize more and more that if people like me don't tell our stories, we let ourselves (and others like us who may still be trying to break free) get painted with the victim-blaming "You did that to yourself" brush.

I did not do that to myself. No one in a situation like mine who made choices like mine did that to themselves. That is not remotely how that works. But it's taken me all this time to let go of the mountain of misplaced self-blame I've carried around my whole adult life.

People who have been raised in intensely fundamentalist environments, with all the indoctrination that entails, often have to resort to all kinds of emotional and psychological contortions just to survive the experience. That's doubly true at least for queer kids growing up in these environments. And yes, that includes those of us who, after years of marinating in religious repression and self-loathing, made choices that looked completely incomprehensible from the outside, choices that had destructive consequences for ourselves and possibly others.

Our stories may not be as easy to understand or empathize with. But we need and deserve that understanding just as much.

#personal #religious indoctrination #religious trauma #exvangelical #ex gay #ex ex gay #conversion therapy #so yeah #i was in a sort-of cult in high school and early college #with the full knowledge and approval of one of my parents #i do not blame the parent in question #they've been dead several years #but they were unwell #and deeply religiously traumatized #i blame the church #and the ex-gay movement #seriously fuck them

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Fade Into You, Chapter Two: Holy Ground

pairing: nyc bookstore owner au!ezra (prospect) x f!reader

rating: M (nothing much here really besides reader’s pining and ezra’s charm, definitely ooc ezra but it’s an au so who cares!, talks of money/wealth/privilege, a situationship forming in front of our eyes)

wc: 2.7k

a/n: just as a disclaimer, these chapters are going to range in length. i know some people really love short chapters and some really love long ones, but i’m trying not to focus so much on word count anymore, just gonna try to stop when it feels right (to me)! but i’m sure once we start seeing their relationship evolve, so will the length of each chapter.

series masterlist | previous chapter | FIY PLAYLIST

Mid October

“I feel like these are only ever good straight out of the oven.” Jay was standing in your tiny kitchen, taking a tray of store bought frozen Halloween cookies out of the oven.

“Yeah, as soon as they get room temperature they get hard as a fucking rock,” you agreed, sitting cross-legged on your beat up leather sofa with a bowl of popcorn on your lap. Halloween was queued up on your TV, the big light off with only the orange and yellow glow of the string lights you’d hung on your TV to illuminate the room. As Jay walked over with the entire pan, setting it down on the coffee table, their phone started to ring, the sound of a generic banjo filling the room. “You gotta change your ringtone.”

“It’s for the bit,” they said, tugging their phone out. “It’s Ezra.”

Your head whipped up to look at them, your eyes wide with interest as she pressed her screen to accept the call, putting it on speaker.

“Hey Ez, you’re on speaker,” they said.

“Hey, just calling to see what you’re up to,” he replied.

As Jay filled Ezra in on the movie marathon the two of you had been having since noon, you mindlessly shoveled popcorn into your mouth, watching the screen as though his face would appear if you willed it hard enough.

“Is that the girl you were telling me about?” he asked after hearing Jay mention you by name.

“Yeah, you two need to finally meet,” they said, giving you a wink and a nudge with their elbow.

“Well, I just got back in town and was going to invite you to meet me for a showing of Practical Magic in the park in an hour, but if she’s up for it, she can come and we can finally introduce ourselves properly.” Your eyes widened and head began to shake in a silent plea for them not to accept as Jay turned to look at you with a wide smirk, their amusement over your crush evident in their voice as they ignored your anxiousness and let him know that the two of you would be there before hanging up.

“Oh, I’m gonna puke,” you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut as you let your head fall back against the sofa. “I don’t have any time to prepare myself! I don’t even—what do I even—fuck.”

“Jesus, it’s just Ezra. He’s just a forty-four year old man who’s scared of commitment, not the fuckin’ messiah,” they teased.

“Yeah…you’re right,” you nodded, taking a breath of composure before standing up to walk over to your closet. “Alright. Super chill. ‘Hey Ezra, totally haven’t been fantasizing about you for the last month or anything. Super chill to meet you.’”

“Oh lord. I really do not get straight people,” Jay sighed teasingly, and you gave her a cocked brow as you turned around.

“Who said I’m straight?”

The city had finally started to cool down, the brisk autumn breeze hitting your cheeks caused you to shiver as your navy knitted sweater did its mediocre job at keeping you warm while you walked through a lamplit Central Park with Jay at your side, their pale skin turning pink on their cheeks and at the tip of their nose.

The park was still full of life even in the pale moonlight; lovers strolled together hand in hand to the soundtrack of giggles from children on the playground as their parents looked on, or a few lonely souls sitting in contemplation on the park benches, wondering where they lost that childish joy. You liked to try and imagine their lives, the happiness and the sadness looming in their history weighing on them in a way you could only ever imagine and never feel. Sometimes if you thought enough about these faces without names, you could feel your heart breaking for them and tears would swell in your eyes, but tonight you couldn’t muster the energy to ruminate on anything but your own life—of the anxiety you felt over finally meeting this character you’d created in your mind.

“Oh, there he is.” Jay’s finger pointed at a park bench where a lonely looking man sat scrolling through his phone, the blue light glowing on his face. “Ez!”

Ezra looked up, a smile growing on his face as he stood, tucking his phone away into his back pocket.

“Jay bird,” he greeted them, pulling them in for a fatherly hug. “Missed ya.”

“Missed you too, old man,” they teased, pulling away to point at you.

“Hi,” you smiled, holding your hand out for him as you gave him your name.

“Ezra—nice to meet you.” You felt a stab of insecurity in your stomach as his eyes bounced across your features for a beat, suddenly feeling all-too aware of each flaw you picked apart in the mirror just that morning. “This isn’t a line, but the way your eyes are sparkling right now is making it hard to look away from you.”

“Oh?” was all you could manage, your heart’s quick patter making it hard to think of anything clever to say, Jay’s chuckle finally pulling his attention away.

“Quit it, she’s shy,” Jay scolded, swatting his shoulder playfully.

“Is that right?” he asked, one side of his mouth lifted in a smirk as he turned back to you.

“Unfortunately,” you blurted nervously, earning a deep, crackly chuckle from him that helped to warm you up better than the wool covering your body.

“Hang out with Jay’s crowd long enough and soon you won’t be,” he said, turning to Jay. “Let’s go find a place to sit.”

You walked beside Ezra, Jay on his other side, and found yourself counting each step and breath as his warmth radiated against your arm. You wanted to lean in, slide your arms beneath his leather jacket and hold him so close that you could hear the beat of his heart, but for now, you stuck to counting your steps.

“So fill me in,” he said, his elbow nudging yours. “Who are you?”

You took in a necessary breath and shrugged.

“Not sure yet,” you answered honestly. “I’ll be sure to let you know when I figure it out.”

Ezra chuckled and nodded, a permanent smile on his face as he kept his eyes forward.

“Well, tell me what you know so far,” he urged before pointing at an open spot in the grass in front of the large projector screen.

“Uh, well, I’m a writer—“

“See, that’s good information,” he grinned, shrugging off his backpack to unpack a blanket. “What do you write?”

“Some poetry, some fiction,” you said, watching as he and Jay laid out the blanket.

“I’m going to go get some food from concessions, you two want anything?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, just a beer,” Ezra said, tugging out a twenty and handing it to her. “And whatever our writer friend wants.”

You smiled at him before looking to Jay. “I’m okay, thank you. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“No, you two get acquainted, I’ll be fine.”

You gave them a subtle look of terror, only earning a reassuring nudge of their head towards Ezra as he took his seat on the blanket.

“So you’re a writer,” Ezra said, his eyes following you as you awkwardly sat down at the furthest corner from him, crossing your legs to take up as little space as possible. “Is that how you met Jay?”

“No, I actually met her in your shop,” you said, finding the courage and confidence to meet his eyes.

“And we haven’t crossed paths yet?”

“Well, we sort of did once—the first time I came into the store, but you were leaving so it makes sense—“

“You must’ve caught me on a bad day,” he interrupted. “Those eyes aren’t the kind of eyes I’d normally forget.”

“Still not using a line?” you chuckled.

Ezra smiled, looking down at his lap before meeting your eyes again.

“Not a line if it’s sincere,” he said, shrugging with a smile as he turned to look around at the crowded park, each group talking amongst themselves like the world consisted of just them, just like it felt with you and Ezra. “Are you from the city?”

“No, I just moved here,” you said, continuing on about your hometown and the stark contrast in environment.

“How are you liking the change?” he asked, leaning back to rest against one elbow.

“It was overwhelming at first, but in a good way.”

“How do you mean?” he probed, full of sincere interest.

“Just…the thought that I could be anybody here—it’s overwhelming but an exciting kind of overwhelming. I’ve just been trying to figure out where I belong in the midst of all this energy.”

Ezra’s smile grew into a grin, his eyes batting fondly at you as he watched you mimic his position, your body now achingly closer to his than it had been just seconds prior.

“What about you?” you asked in a whisper, turning your eyes to face the projector screen that started to glow with the start of the movie.

“Too long of a story to tell right now,” he whispered back with a smile.

“Make room for me,” Jay said as they returned with two beers in one hand and a tray of nachos in the other, nudging their chin at you to scoot closer to Ezra. You obliged with both hesitance and eagerness, once again counting your breath as his arm brushed against yours. “Here, can you pass Ez his beer?”

“Sure,” you said, grabbing the cold bottle and handing over to Ezra who sat on your other side, his warm fingers brushing against yours as he accepted it.

“Thanks, honey,” he whispered, and although the endearment caused your head to buzz, it seemed to be something casual to him, as if he called all of his friends these pet names. A good chunk of you hoped that wasn’t the case.

After the movie, Jay made up some excuse about going over to a girl’s house, leaving Ezra to walk you to the subway, his jacket over your shoulders even though you insisted you were fine (you weren’t).

“So,” you said, breaking the silence between you as you walked through the park to get to the 96 Street Station to catch a subway headed for your neighborhood in Harlem. “Are you from here?”

“I am,” he nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Born and raised. My family is sort of…I guess we’re old money. Or, they were. I’m just a bookstore owner.”

“With more money than God,” you added, earning a laugh.

“I’m trying to get rid of it,” he replied, shrugging.

“You don’t like being rich?”

“I recognize it’s a very privileged problem to have,” he chuckled. “But no, I don’t really care for all of it. I just don’t see why one man with no kids, no family, should have so much while other people are struggling. So, I spend every single day trying to pawn it off on other people, try to help distribute the wealth.”

“How’s that working out?” you asked, your eyes fixed on his profile as you walked, the streetlamps illuminating his skin every few steps, bathing him in yellow glow.

“It’s a surprisingly difficult thing to accomplish, at least with an accountant like mine,” he chuckled. “Sometimes I just settle for not making any more money. I price my books specifically so I don’t make profit, I let people stay in the apartments my family owned rent free. My father’s rolling in his grave, I’m sure.”

“How did you guys get so rich?”

“Prospecting,” he said, glancing over at you. “My great-grandfather owned a lot of land that had a lot of minerals and stones, or…something. I never cared enough to ask questions.”

“What an odd life you live,” you teased, earning a playful nudge from his elbow as you rounded the fence to walk into the subway tunnel.

“Tell me more about you,” he prodded, keeping his body close to yours in a display of protection as a strange man began to stare at you too much for either of your liking. “What are you writing?”

“Well, it started as romance, but then I scrapped that once I started really thinking about the character and what she wanted. I figured it wasn’t love she craved. What she really wanted was to prove to her mother that she was capable of being loved. So, that led me to where I am now, just a story of a mother and a daughter and all the traumatic shit that goes into that relationship.”

“What a beautiful mind you’ve got,” he said, his eyes on you as you looked down at your shoes with a bashful smile. “Do you know how it ends? Do they heal? Or does it stay broken?”

“Well,” you lifted your eyes to meet his, a playful smirk on your face. “I guess you’ll have to wait for me to write and publish it to find out.”

“My best friend owns an indie publishing company,” he shrugged. “Just let me know when you’ve got it finished and I’ll help you get in contact with him.”

“Oh, you don’t have to—“

“I like helping people who are passionate about what they do,” he interjected. “And I can see how much you love what you do, it’s what makes your eyes sparkle like that, even in this shitty subway light.”

“Are you always this good with your words?” you asked, bumping your shoulder into his.

“I sure try to be,” he smiled.

“Well,” you lifted and dropped your eyebrows. “Makes it hard for a girl to tell if you’re just being friendly or if you’re flirting.”

Ezra studied you for a minute with that closed mouth smile that he always seemed to wear, his eyes bouncing across your features even when you looked away from him in a fluster.

“I’m not…a partner,” he said, a careful lilt to his voice. “I don’t believe in…lasting things, at least in lasting love. I can’t be a partner to you. I’m the guy people sleep with until they find their partner.”

“I’m not looking for a partner,” you said, unsure of where you found the courage. “So, if that’s what you’re worried about, don’t. I’m new to this city, to all of this. I don’t want to jump into anything, I just want to…I don’t know…live a little.”

“Well, here,” he said, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. “Let’s trade numbers and just…see what happens. No pressure, no expectations, just call me when you need a friend, or…something more if you feel like it.” He smiled. “Whenever you feel like it.”

You only grinned and nodded as you typed your number into his phone, feeling as though you’d stumbled onto some sort of prize you weren’t qualified to win. You tried to silence the voices inside that screamed at you for even daring to believe that a handsome, kind, self-aware, rich man like Ezra, with a world of opportunities at his fingertips, would want you. You knew that you had your own value, your own beauty and intrigue—you were a prize, too.

“Can I take the subway with you?” he asked as you handed his phone back. “Not—I’m not trying to follow you home or anything, I just don’t want to stop talking yet.”

“You want to ride all the way to Harlem and back with me? Just to talk?” you laughed.

“If you’d let me,” he smiled. “I think you’re interesting, and hard to read, and…well, I guess the best word for it is captivating.”

“Where does ‘beautiful’ fit in to all of that?” you joked.

“I knew you were beautiful the second I saw that sparkle in your eyes,” he said, his eyes flickering to your lips. “That’s not what captivates me, that’s obvious. What I find uniquely interesting is your mind, your thoughts and where they come from, and especially the way you string those thoughts into words. That’s…that’s captivating.”

With no room to argue and no words to describe what his words meant to you, you offered him a simple smile and nod before the two of you were filing into the subway, that dirty tile floor becoming holy ground in the matter of a second.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fluff #ezra x you #ezra prospect x you #ezra prospect #ezra prospect x reader #ezra x reader #fade into you #pedro pascal fan fiction #pedro pascal smut

[lady-harrowhark]

Upon reading the Wikipedia synopsis for the 1997 Don Bluth Anastasia film, and then subsequently the Wiki page for the historical grand duchess Anastasia, I have learnt that the name ‘Anastasia’ is apparently derived from a Greek name meaning “of the resurrection”. And as I know you are a big TLT fan I’m coming to you asking… is this anything? What are the implications? Obviously everyone in the empire is ‘of the resurrection’, but why is Anastasia specifically given this meaningful name?

Fantastic question, and one I’ve been mulling over myself. I think there are two main pieces here, and there are undoubtedly people on here better suited to expounding upon both of them than myself, as both of these topics are beyond the scope of what I can give a super nuanced explanation of, but I’m out here doing my best!

The first is, as you said, in relation to “the resurrection” with roots in “anastasis.” Within the context of Christianity, this is almost always in reference to the Resurrection, that of Jesus. Gideon is the obvious Christ figure of the series, but in NtN, most of our main characters get a little sprinkle of Christ figure imagery at the very least. However, I actually think that the more salient thing here is that within Christian art, the Anastasis specifically refers to depictions of the Harrowing of Hell. Eagle-eyed readers may recall that Harrow herself is named specifically for the Harrowing of Hell. The Harrowing of Hell, in turn, refers to the period of time between Christ’s crucifixion and his Resurrection on the third day. During this period, he descended into Hell and brought salvation to the righteous souls there, leading them out of Hell. I’ll throw in here that the stoma is said by John to be the mouth to Hell. Make of that what you will.

Additionally, I’ll point out that the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is also known as the Church of the Anastasis. This is significant to our Anastasia because the Church of the Holy Sepulchre/Church of the Anastasis includes the site of Jesus’s crucifixion… and his tomb. Which sounds more than a little familiar, no?

So the second big thing is that within biology, “anastasis” has a similar but distinct meaning. Take a look at this quote which I’ve pulled from a journal article not really because of anything about the article itself but because the wording makes the comparison super easy: 

Anastasis is a natural cell recovery phenomenon that rescues cells from the brink of death. Programmed cell death such as apoptosis has been traditionally assumed to be an intrinsically irreversible cascade that commits cells to a rapid and massive demolition. Interestingly, recent studies have demonstrated recovery of dying cells even at the late stages generally considered immutable.

Was anyone else immediately reminded of this conversation, in which John asks Harrow to explain apopneumatism (which appears to be a play on apoptosis itself)?

“Thalergetic decay causes cellular death,” you said carefully, pressing the nail in harder, “which emits thanergy. The massive cell death that follows apopneumatism causes a thanergetic cascade, though the first bloom fades and the thanergy stabilises within thirty to sixty seconds.”

Because I sure was.

In this same conversation, they talk about the life force and communal soul of a planet, arising from “the accumulation of microbial life” and what happens when you kill a planet all at once: Resurrection Beasts. Alecto.

Taken together, I think we’re looking at some very significant imagery regarding not just Anastasia, but her relationships to Harrow and Alecto as well. We have a guardian of the Locked Tomb, in which lies the soul of a murdered planet and the ostensible source of necromancy. Given where we saw her last, Anastasia seems to have set some plans in motion to not only halt this death but bring her back. A resurrection, and perhaps salvation for those who have been trapped within the stoma, which is to say: Hell.

#[slurps milkshake through a bendy straw] #apologies for letting this languish in the inbox for so long! #the semester sucked up all my mental energy but now it's replenishing a bit so that i'm able to use it for more fun things :) #thank you for the opportunity to ramble about this!!!!! #ask #poorpoorpitifulme #tlt #tlt meta #anastasia #alecto #nona the ninth spoilers

[orthodoxadventure]

Prayers before Bedtime

In the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit:

O God, be merciful to me a sinner. (3 times)

O Lord our God, forgive all the sins I have committed this day in word, deed and thought, for Thou art good and lovest mankind. Grant me peaceful and undisturbed sleep. Send Thy Guardian Angel to protect and keep me from all harm. For Thou art the Guardian of our souls and bodies, and to Thee do we ascribe glory, to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

O Lord our God, in Whom we believe and upon Whose Name we call more than any other name, grant relief to our souls and bodies as we go to sleep. Keep us from every fantasy and dark pleasure. Halt the rushing of passions and quench the fiery arousals of the flesh. Grant unto us to live chastely in thought, word, and deed. Having embraced a virtuous life, may we not fall away from Thy promised blessings, for blessed art Thou forever. Amen.

(You may include any personal prayers and specific requests here.)

Through the prayers of Thy Most-Holy Mother and of all the saints, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us and save us. Amen.

Prayer upon lying down to go to sleep:

Into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my soul and body. Do Thou Thyself bless me, have mercy upon me, and grant me life eternal. Amen.

#Christianity #Orthodox Christianity #Prayer #God #Jesus

[fuckmymunson]

𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐅𝐨𝐨𝐥 — 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤

★ Request: Dark!Sirius Black, prompt words: Bullet, graveyard shift, sinner.

★ CW: 18+ DARK SMUT, NON-CON, religious corruption kink, disrespecting holy items, nun!reader, loss of virginity, BLOOD, unprotected sex, choking, breeding kink, (barely there?) dumbification, not exactly dirty talk but kind of?, dacryphilia, not edited/proofread! lmk if I miss a tag! | Word count: 2,8k. | Minors DNI.

★ a/n: Requested by 📸 anon, hope you like it!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Walking under the pouring rain, the half-moon and stars hidden behind the big, dark clouds of autumn, side by side with sister Lisseth, who was explaining to you tonight's divine office. Crossing the open gates of the graveyard next to the cathedral, holding the skirts of your habit, the atmosphere felt heavy the moment you stepped inside the holy property.

“I promise you the night will go in the blink of an eye.” She spoke, her green eyes glowing softly at the oil lantern she had in a pale hand. “You know your divine office, right?”

“Yes.” You nodded, obedient as always. “Ten Hail Mary Prayers, fifteen prayers for Our father and the Rosary for the salvation of the poor souls who had left this earth too early.” Your sister looked pleased with your answer and handing you the oil lantern as well as an umbrella, identical to the one she was holding, she guided you to an empty mausoleum, which would be your shelter for that night.

“God blesses you, sister.” She smiled, holding your hand. “Repeat with me the night shift praying.”

“Dear God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” The two nuns spoke in unison, the rain around them acting as a sweet lullaby to their prayers. “Remember those who labour and toil while I eat and rest. Bless those who go unseen during night hours. Strengthen those who ply their trade after the setting of the sun. Amen.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, please take care.” Before leaving, Sister Lisseth spoke words that left you slightly puzzled.

After a few minutes of silent prayers, the night shift you were committed to finally started. Walking through the rows of graves and tombstones, murmuring merciful prayers clenching the red rosary tight against your chest. The rain stopped after a few hours and returning to the empty mausoleum, you folded the black umbrella, ready to continue with your night prayers.

“In the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen.” Your voice resounded in the ancient stones, in the names of the departed. Hands clasped together still holding the crimson beads in a devoted sight. “In times of sickness and death, prayers are the best means of consolation, comfort and help that people can give. Let us now begin this Rosary by calling on our Blessed Mother Mary to pray for us now as we pray for all of the poor unfortunate souls who had left us too early…”

A loud crack was heard in the distance, followed by a low growl, something that sounded too similar to a whimper of pain. Remaining still on your knees, you muttered a quick prayer for protection, feeling your heart speeding up in a split second. Maybe is just a stray dog who got hurt, that made a lot of sense, a dog.

“God of heaven, You called them from this life. God of Mercy, fulfil their faith and hope in You.” You continued the prayer, eyes darting at the abyss of darkness that unfolded before you. “Lead them safely home to heaven to be with You forever, filled with joy and peace in Your presence. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.”

With every second that passed, the sounds got louder, heavier, almost as if they were steps, that was slowly approaching you. Standing up abruptly, one hand clasping the holy figure and the other holding the oil lantern, narrowed eyes, scrutinizing the dark corners and paths of the graveyard, looking for the source of the sounds. Amazingly, a tall figure emerged from behind an old oak tree, limping and curling in its own figure. The rain enhanced the smells of the forest next to the cathedral, the scents of musk, moist grass and tar flooding your nostrils, and, the unmistakable metallic smell of blood.

“Who are you?” Your question made him raise his head, it was a man. An injured man. He was a few inches taller than you, he looked ragged and dejected, he wore an old grey coat, wet with the rain and ripped in a few spots. His eyes were also grey, sparkling with the dim lights of the lantern, his chiselled cheekbones and jawline were painted with droplets of blood, the light shadow of his facial hair enriching his pale skin.

Instead of answering your question, the stranger approached you a little more, one hand firmly resting against his stomach. “You’re hurt.” You acknowledged his damaged state, and he nodded weakly, his eyes giving you a silent plea.

Placing the lantern on the floor, you approached him this time, worried and ready to aid a stranger in disgrace. You were so blinded by your kind heart, that you didn’t notice the devilish smirk in his eyes. Helping him take a seat on the edge of the empty mausoleum, you kneeled next to him, moving his hand gently to asset the damage. “What happened?” You asked, alarmed by the amount of blood.

“I was shot.” He explained briefly, making you gasp. His voice was calm, too calm for someone who had been shot, but you were too worried to notice that too. “I need you to help me, Sister.”

“Of course.” You nodded, a determined fire in your eyes. This is what God would’ve wanted, to help a wayward soul. “We can go back to the cathedral, I’m sure Sister Lily will be of help, she is a really good healer and—”

“We don’t have time, Sister.” He interrupted you, placing a hand on top of yours, guiding it to his wound. “I need you to remove the bullet, with your hands.” A surprising gesture appeared on your face, almost making him chuckle. “Please, it hurts so much.” His wince was too convincing.

Swallowing all the panic and fear, your shaky hand darted over his wound, a few centimetres next to his belly button. When your soft fingers slid inside the wound, he hissed in pain, and you flinched in disgust and anxiety, it was horrible, and the sensation was one you would never forget. Sliding another finger in, your fingertips bumped with a small object and curling them gently over the silver bullet, you pulled it slowly, afraid of hurting him more. The whole time you avoided his gaze, afraid to break down at the pain he had to be experiencing. The clammy sensation of blood clots and skin made you gag, tears prickled in your pretty eyes, the sound of your fingers leaving the wound was so disgusting you miraculously suppressed the urge to vomit.

“Thank you, Thank you.” He whispered, letting out a satisfied groan, his voice echoing in your ears.

“We need to go back to the cathedral, the wound is deep, it needs to be cleaned.” Your voice was supposed to be confident, but it came out shaky and nervous, still in shock, looking at your bloody hand holding the silver bullet in awe.

“There’s no need, Sister.” This time, you lifted your eyes, meeting his and feeling your heart-stopping at the smirk he wore on his Adonis's face. “The bullet was the only thing preventing my body from working as it should be.”

Right before your eyes, the wound started closing, the skin stretching and then shrinking, until there was no wound, the only evidence of an injury being the blood stains and a very faint silver scar. Mouth wide open, you gasped again, this time in total fear.

“Who are you?” You repeated the question from earlier, your hands quickly reaching for the crimson rosary, the same colour as the blood in your fingers.

‘Sirius Black.’ He said, as cocky as he could be. Black, you had heard that last name before. Before, sure, but where?

Then, it hit you.

“Black.” You repeated out loud. “Just like the family who was murdered a few days ago.” The exact family who was buried in the graveyard you were now stuck in, in an ostentatious marble mausoleum, a few yards away. “Mother, Father and only son were found dead in the Black manor.”

“That was my family, yes.” He looked amused by your reactions as if he was playing with you. “Not by my hand, unfortunately.” A weak whine fled your lips by his words, making him chuckle.

“Please, don’t hurt me.” You begged, scared, holding the rosary in your chest.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Sister.” The way the holy title rolled down his tongue was different, it sounded blasphemous, sinful. “You helped me, and you deserved a reward for your kind heart.”

“Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve, to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.” You whispered hurriedly, terrified, the tears rolling hotly down your cheeks, your words only making him laugh again. “Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us, and after this, our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.—”

“Praying won’t save you from me, little one.” He interrupted you, again, cupping your face with one hand, harshly pulling you closer to his face, you continued with the prayer. “Oh, sweet Virgin Mary. Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.” He joined the prayer, mocking your voice and laughing darkly at your tears. “Oh, sweet virgin.”

His lips were pressed against yours, swallowing the sob that emanated from you. Sirius could taste the salty flavour of your tears, fueling his increasing arousal. He felt hungry, starving, and the only thing he wanted to ravish was you. You tried to push him away, a desperate attempt to escape his claws, but he was monstrously strong. Standing up, he grabbed your coif, snatching it away from your head, letting your hair exposed to the night air. One hand grabbed a fistful of your hair, dragging you inside the cold mausoleum with him. Kneeling next to you, just like you did minutes before, he licked your tears groaning at the taste. “So pretty.” He whispered before kissing you again, the goal of ruining you being the only one inside his twisted mind.

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” You cried, desperate for salvation, squeaking when his cruel hands slid inside your tunic, groping your thighs and loosening the fabric. “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

“Amen.” He finished the sentence, smiling. His fingers twisted your nipples, torturing you beyond limits. “Answer me, Sister, are you a virgin?” The painful moan from your part answered his question, but he wanted verbal confirmation. “Answer me, little one.”

“Please, please don’t.” You cried, a cry that broke into a choke when his thumb circled your clothed clit.

“So, you are.” He repeated his actions until he was satisfied by the subtle wet patch in your cotton underwear, as white as your coif, as pure as your heart. “Then I’m sure I will enjoy ruining you more, my sweet virgin.”

He slid one finger, only one, and it hurt. The slick between your legs was providing him with enough lubrication, but the intrusion was too much. “So tight.” He pointed out, kissing your jaw. “Can wait to rip you apart with my cock. Break this tight cunt in two, if I’m feeling clement enough, perhaps I can bless you with my baby, don’t you think? Sister.” Curling his finger, he seized from the way you rocked your hips involuntarily, adding a second finger, the burning sensation of being stretched by his digits overwhelmed your head.

“I believe in one God—.” You tried to continue, believing so foolishly in the superior being that could pull you out of this misery, your voice cracked at the way he curled his fingers again, hitting that spot that made you moan in pleasure, a guilty pleasure. “the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible… Fuck.” You gasped when his thumb met your clit again, the bliss of an orgasm clouding your head.

“That’s it, little one.” Sirius cooed at you. “Let yourself go, there’s nothing bad about pleasure, on the contrary, why would God give you such a gorgeous body and not put it to good use?” He added a third finger, and the pain returned. Biting your lip, you sobbed at his words, feeling so guilty for getting any pleasure from this sinful act, you made a celibate vow, and you tried to remember the celibate prayer you spoke out loud in the cathedral a few months ago when you decided to change your life and be faithful to your one and only God.

“I-I ask you, Jesus, to fill my sexuality with your holiness, to strengthen me and restore me in your n-name.” Every word was harder to pronounce than the one before, Sirius was kissing your neck, nibbling at the flesh and leaving purplish marks. Everything was getting blurry, your head was floating, the sensations were too powerful.

“So dumb.” Sirius mocked your pout, removing his fingers from your aching pussy, swirling his tongue over his wet digits, wet with your arousal, with your sin. “Such a holy fool.” Unbotting his trousers, you gasped in shock, knowing well what was about to happen. Trying to move was useless now, he had you caged, and when he lined up with your throbbing cunt, he smiled almost gently. “Don’t worry, Sister, I will make you feel good.”

The pain was unimaginable.

Even if he attempted to prep you beforehand, his fingers weren’t compared to his cock. Sirius groaned, delighted by the way your velvety virgin walls suck every inch of him. “So greedy.” He growled, moving until his hips collided with the back of your thighs. “So tight, such a holy cunt.” Dragging his length out of you, the crimson sheer layer that covered it only thrilled him even more. Leaning down to kiss you, he drank your desperate cries, hands pressed on your thighs opening your legs even further if it was possible.

Next to you, discarded and forgotten, the red beaded rosary caught his attention. Closing your eyes due to the pleasure and pain that rocked your body, your eyes widened when you felt a familiar material wrapped around your throat, the rosary sinking into the skin of your neck, denting the tender flesh and obstructing the air from your lungs. Sirius kept choking you with your own holy item, bottoming out at the way your gushing pussy pulsated around his hard cock. “You like that, don’t you?” He asked in a hoarse voice, struggling to thrust at the way your walls were gripping him.

Little black dots clouded your vision, your eyes rolled to the back of your skull and Sirius released the pressure from your throat, allowing you to breathe, the rosary hanging loosely around your poor neck and bouncing over your exposed breasts with every snap of his hips.

“I’m gonna fill you up, little one.” He spoke, leaning down, squeezing your cheeks together, forcing an exaggerated pout from your part. “I’m gonna bless you with my child, ‘m sure you’ll be a wonderful mother.” His fingers rubbed your clit without any compassion, throwing you into that state of bliss, feeling the orgasm again, this time harder than before. “Cum, cum for me, Sister. Let your sins consume you.”

Sirius moaned when you came around him, and after a few deep thrusts, he did as well, inside you, the warm squirts of his cum pooling inside you, making you whine at the new sensation. Sirius cooed at you, kissing your lips, your neck, your breasts. Your body was overworked, every inch of it hurt, and the world was becoming a big blur with every second that passed.

“Rest, little one.” You heard him talk, feeling something being placed inside your hand, something you hold tightly. “Rest, for now.” That was the last thing you registered before fainting.

The next morning, you woke up in one of the infirmary’s beds, feeling sore from head to toe. Next to you, Sister Lily and Sister Lisseth had a permanent gesture of distress, when they noticed your awake state, they rushed their way to you.

“Thank God you’re awake.” Sister Lily cried, covering her face with her hands.

“What happened? Take your time, there’s no rush, your wellbeing comes first.” Sister Lisseth grabbed your hand, rubbing soothing circled in your palm.

Feeling something cold against your other hand, you lifted and opened it, a little ring falling on your lap. Picking it up, it was a gold ring, with initials carved. It was elegant and shadowy and it only screamed danger. Your finger traced the initials: S.O.B.

Sorry for any mistakes! English is not my first language. I appreciate any feedback!˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

#Anya is writing! ᜊ( ᜊ ´ ˘) ੭ #Anya dreams of Sirius!(〃＾▽＾〃) #sirius black #dark!siriusblack #dark!sirius black #sirius by omel! #dark!sirius by omel! #sirius black smut #sirius black x reader smut #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #dark!sirius black smut #marauder x reader smut #omenhel's 200 flowers! #📸 anon

[traumacatholic]

Asking for prayers for those killed and affected by the school shooting that occurred in Czechia today 🙏

O God of spirits and of all flesh, Who hast trampled down death and overthrown the Devil, and given life to Thy world, do Thou, the same Lord, give rest to the souls of Thy departed servants in a place of brightness, a place of refreshment, a place of repose, where all sickness, sighing, and sorrow have fled away. Pardon every transgression which they have committed, whether by word or deed or thought. For Thou art a good God and lovest mankind; because there is no man who lives yet does not sin, for Thou only art without sin, Thy righteousness is to all eternity, and Thy word is truth.

For Thou are the Resurrection, the Life, and the Repose of Thy servants who have fallen asleep, O Christ our God, and unto Thee we ascribe glory, together with Thy Father, who is from everlasting, and Thine all-holy, good, and life-creating Spirit, now and ever unto ages of ages. I pray that those affected by this violence will find hope in the abundant grace of God. May they be given strength at this most painful moment and find comfort along the difficult path that lies ahead. Let no one among us have any fear, but let us remember that our Lord Jesus Christ has overcome fear, has trampled down death, and has granted us eternal life and great mercy.” May all who are grieving look towards the great day of the Lord when Christ will “wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away” (Rev 21:4).

Amen.

#Prayer #Prayer request #prayer req

[valmare]

**serious post read at your own discretion**

disclaimer–religious triggers, personal opinions

I'm not usually one for celebrity documentaries.

But, a mutual recommended Val Kilmer's documentary, since he's one of my favorite actors and has been since I was a kid and watched Batman Forever, so I decided to give it a go.

It amazes me that the cream of the crop (read: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Whitney Houston, etc.) always seem to rise out of some of the most tragic childhood and life experiences. Michael Jackson came out of domestic abuse and body dysmorphia. Elvis, the loss of his twin and poverty. Whitney, drugs and alcohol.

For Val– the loss of a brother, his parents' divorce, emotional abuse, and later a divorce himself resulting in separation of his children. He's arguably one of Hollywood's most prolific, real method actors, someone who embodies each and every character with heart and soul. He believes in real storytelling, not the modern knock-off we see in shallow blockbusters today.

He's one of the good ones. From Doc Holliday to Batman to the infamous Iceman, I'd argue that nobody is quite as talented as Val. A fact I've overlooked for a good few years now.

All throughout his career Hollywood and "the business" has labeled him difficult and eccentric because of his dedication to storytelling and authenticity, of keeping true to the theme. Because every movie has a theme, a message it communicates, since film is a medium of communication. He documents an experience in Australia, where a film was completely gutted for the sake of a production schedule, which left him baffled and broken.

And his journey with tracheostomy and throat cancer and the inability to speak. Wow. He really bares his soul and the reality of what fame being stripped away is really like. I cried quite a bit over this documentary, because even robbed of the one thing you absolutely need as an actor –your voice–Val is still 100% committed to the field. To the experience of storytelling. He adapted and threw himself into art, a studio, and documentation of his experiences and what it means to be a storyteller. He's passionate and raw, not swept up in fame.

Hollywood cost him everything. He even says he lost himself for awhile, that Hollywood is like stepping into hell. He's right. Fame will take until there's nothing you can give, and Val is one of the few to transcend actually caring.

Who knows how much of this is *actually* true, since Hollywood is infamous for smoke and mirrors and deception (if you know anything about the dark underworld of the industry) but I'll take it at face value.

Regardless of the question of honest truth, this was a refreshing look into acting. While I think it still ignores, or chooses to hide, the ugly and spiritual side of what it takes to make it in Hollywood, I can't think of a better or more raw approach to explaining the journey of fame and the art of visual storytelling. I always knew Kilmer was good–and there's a reason why. Art is in his soul, just as music was in Michael and Elvis'.

Hollywood took Val Kilmer and ran with him, and left him high and dry and hollow at the end. But, he's choosing to rise out of those ashes. I can commend him for that.

Yet another testament to how we don't know the full story of our peers' lives until we come up close and personal to it. God can make anything out of any backstory–a prostitute to anoint Him for burial, a hotheaded fisherman to become the rock of which He built His church, a shepherd to be the greatest king of Israel.

Despite Val not serving the same God or understanding the same Jesus Christ that I do, his life is a picture of just exactly what the world can offer you. Nothing. There is freedom in forsaking the standards of society and pursuing what God has destined for you, unabashedly. I can only pray Val Kilmer, and the host of others like him, can come to knowledge of who he is in Christ, and experience the passionate love of Christ's salvation.

10/10 documentary, and I hardly EVER give full marks. Worth your watch.

See Yas, From a former film reviewer

#val kilmer #movie recs #val documentary #fangirl #christianity #in all seriousness #my thoughts #val kilmer is officially my first stan

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Mikan Tsumiki VS Fluttershy [Danganronpa Survivor VS My Little Pony]

Hifumi: Mikan Tsumiki, the not-so eloquent Ultimate Nurse...

Leona: And Fluttershy, the not-so submissive Element of Kindness.

Hifumi: Kindness is compassion and love in perfect harmony. It is loving yourself enough to love those around you.

Leona: But despite their power, it seems these two clumsy, skittish, yet sweethearted companions are gonna need a little help with that...He's Hifumi, and I'm Leona!

Hifumi: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, talents and skills, to see who will win a DEATH BATTLE!

Leona: Back to standard procedure folks!

Hifumi: As we're already all familiar with by this point, Hope's Peak Academy is a school committed to assisting in the training of high school students who are at the top of their fields.

Leona: And as we mentioned before, when everyone at the academy thought their lives were set in stone, Tragedy struck! Literally

Hifumi: That of course, being the arrival of Junko Enoshima. Alongside her manipulation, scheming and casual feats of murder that she did for a bit of fun, her most notable feat of the Hope's Peak Tragedy was the brainwashing of Class 77, turning them into the Ultimate Despair, who then proceeded to wreak havoc on the world as we knew it.

Leona: Yeah, we've been over this...Though it is pretty sad. All of these guys were living such fruitful and happy lives before she came along...

Hifumi: Well, I wouldn't say ALL of them...Truth be told, aside from the likes of Izuru Kamukura and Nagito Komaeda, there is one member of the Ultimate Despair who stands out more than others...That would of course, be Mrs Mikan Tsumiki.

Leona: Huh...She seems pretty meek...

Hifumi: Well, that would be...HALF right. Mrs Tsumiki's early years were difficult, and that's putting it VERY lightly! She suffered from emotional and physical abuse at the hands of both family members and people she knew outside of that. She has talked about getting burned by cigarettes, getting smeared with mud, and getting splashed with water, among other things. The bullies would make her pay for their debts, make her eat bugs and make her act like animals, beat her up, cut her hair, draw on her, and use her as a dart target. At times, she was even told to undress.

Leona: Jesus fucking Christ! Those people are MONSTERS!

Hifumi: It's actually a lot worse than you may think. Because of the things she was subjected to, Mrs Tsumiki became so twisted, she began to see abuse as AFFECTION. Consequently, she turned into a very shy individual who believed that receiving negative treatment was preferable to receiving none at all.

Leona: What the FUCK man! Jesus, how can humanity be so fucking cruel! What did SHE do!?

Hifumi: So, it's no wonder that she ended up falling to Despair first. She was the first victim of the brainwashing, serving as Junko's guinie pig, and she took to it VERY well...Better than Junko could have dreamed.

Leona: I'm afraid to ask what you mean by that...

Hifumi: It's unclear what happened or why, but Mrs Tsumiki became sickeningly obsessed with Junko Enoshima. Like Harley Quinn with the Joker, she subjected her body and soul for the sake of Junko, and to causing as much despair as possible in her name. Her obsession was so strong, it broke through the memory suppression of the Neo World Program when she and her classmates were trapped in it, and following Junko's death, not only did she try to copulate with her corpse, but she cut out her own uterus and replaced it with the corpse's

Leona: I'm gonna be sick...!

Leona does indeed go a shade of green and turn around to vomit in the corner.

Hifumi: I had figured you already knew this...I apologize. 

Leona: Can we like...maybe take a step back? We're moving through this a bit too fast...

Hifumi: Right, right, of course...Mikan Tsumiki learned how to take care of herself at a very young age because no one was there to tend to her wounds. As her proficiency in this area increased, she developed an interest in nursing and was eventually brought on as the Ultimate Nurse by Hope's Peak Academy.

Leona: Because of this, she's very intellectual about medicine and healthcare, and on multiple occasions, she's been able to save her allies even when they're basically as good as dead. She also knows exactly how much anesthetic and painkillers to exhibit to a person to knock them out without killing them.

Hifumi: Which is extremely important to her own unique way of fighting and taking down her opponents, because believe it or not, past all the emotional damage and timid nature, this skittish nurse lady is...kind of a badass!

Leona: Mikan seems to give this idea that she's a harmless, good-for-nothing girl who couldn't hurt a fly, but NONE of this is true. If you let your guard down around her or find yourself at the end of her anger, you might find yourself being thoroughly PENATRATED by her MASSIVE...! GIRTHY...! Syringe!

Hifumi: You had me for a minute.

Leona: Given the shit this chick does, I think the dirty jokes are appropriate here.

Hifumi: In all seriousness, Mrs Tsumiki has used this syringe a few times, most notably during her confrontations with Future Foundation's Ultimate Elite Task Force, specifically the Ultimate Nail Artist, as well as Nagito Komaeda.

Leona: Why does EVERYONE want to fight Nagito Komaeda!?

Hifumi: It's not like we want to, it's just that he's VERY punchable. But the difference between her and the others whom have fought him is...believe it or not, she was able to take him out.

Leona: SHE DID!?

Hifumi: Well...KIND of...She was able to run circles around him and trap him, applying her skills with stealth and smarts to get the victory, but ultimately knocked him out by distributing repeated shots of sleeping drugs to him. This only took effect AFTER his fight with Izuru Kamukura though, so it's more like she came and got the last hit in when he was already on low health. Doesn't take away from her other achievements though.

Leona: The syringe can be used to scratch and stab a bitch with it's needle, but it also holds what is basically a tub of anesthetic medicine. If she impales someone with it and gets all up inside them, she can let her juices flow through them, and this she-devil's juices are DEADLY, even more than usual.

Hifumi: You need to stop.

Leona: If I didn't say it, you would!

Hifumi: Dirty jokes aside, anesthesia and sleeping drugs are a powerful weapon when used right, especially in the hands of someone experienced giving shots to people. Distributing enough of this can have some heavy side effects. Agitation, disorientation, lightheadedness, somnolence, dysphoria, changes in hearing, tinnitus, perioral numbness, metallic taste, and dysarthria can all result from an overdose. These warning signs and symptoms can develop into seizures, respiratory arrest, coma, and ultimately death if they are not properly identified and treated quickly.

Leona: But that thing sure looks big dumb and heavy. Wielding it can't be easy. How much does it weigh exactly?

Hifumi: Oh, about 150 lbs.

Leona: Oh, ok-WHAT!? 

Hifumi: Not only is the syringe pretty hefty on it's own, but Mrs Tsumiki has stated that the syringe can hold up to 18 gallons of sedative liquid inside it. The density of the anesthetic is obviously much thicker than water, but that would at least put it to at least 150 lbs, which for reference, is about the weight of a dirt bike.

Leona: And she's just lugging that thing around no problem?

Hifumi: Obviously, Mrs Tsumiki isn't something like Mr Nidai, who could probably wield the heavy thing like a spear if he wanted, so her attacks using her trademark weapon are usually a little sluggish, so assuming you can outspeed her, it won't be much of a problem. However, if a hit DOES land, kiss your ass and your consciousness goodbye!

Leona: And even if it doesn't, Mikan's got ways around this problem...In the form of OTHER weapons! MORE NEEDLES!

Hifumi: She is indeed a Trypanophobists nightmare, as well as a nightmare for everyone else. On top of having a giant syringe as her main weapon, Mrs Tsumiki has also been known to employ smaller syringes as weapons, which she uses kind of like throwing knives. The syringes have a unique property in that the moment they pierce flesh, they apply whatever liquid is inside them, which again, is usually sedative anesthetic, albeit on a much smaller level than her main weapon.

Leona: They also sometimes contain painkillers or other sorts of medicines, usually created with Seiko Kimura's help, that Mikan can use on herself and her allies to pep them up. And she's got killer accuracy too. Plus, she has a surgical scalpel on hand for an emergency. It's honestly kinda weird...I wouldn't expect such feats from someone this emotionally unstable and...honestly, clumsy.

Hifumi: Yes, it's a well known fact that Mrs Tsumiki has a tendency to accidentally fall over in compromising positions, however, though she doesn't always outright admit it, it's implied that this was all an act. Due to her diseased mind, Mrs Tsumiki didn't become a nurse mainly out of her desire to help people, but actually upon recognizing the likelihood that she could feel in control of sick and injured people. After all, people who are sick are, by default, weaker, and they would have to rely entirely on her since they were the weaker party, and she would be in charge of their lives.

Leona: That's...kinda fucked up actually, but hey, I get it. She's seen some shit.

Hifumi: Fortunately or unfortunately, this endless abuse didn't stop even as an Ultimate Despair. Though she gave her life and everything else to Junko's cause, and claimed COUNTLESS victims, possessing one of the highest kill counts among the remnants, she was eventually captured and placed into the Neo World Program by the Future Foundation, which was then taken over by Junko's AI, and she was subsequently forced into the second killing game.

Leona: During which, her abilities and own physical capabilities really shone through. As we said already, Mikan was the only one who was able to remember her life as a Remnant of Despair, likely because her love for Junko was so insanely strong. Shortly after Monokuma hit the group with the Despair Disease, Mikan concocted and pulled off a plan of her own, which resulted in the deaths of BOTH Ibuki Mioda and Hiyoko Saionji. Speaking of which, let's talk about that quickly!

Hifumi: Nobody looks upon this moment favorably, let's be honest, but to be frank, this plan was BEYOND impressive in terms of how it's pulled off! Namely because of the amount of speed and timing that would be needed to pull it off.

Leona: We don't really need to go into specifics, but to summarize, during her plan, Mikan ran from the hospital to the music venue, smashed a bunch of electronics, changed the temperature of the room, tore off the wallpaper hiding Hiyoko's body, glued the door shut and runs all the way to the motel just as Hajime is meeting up with his friends. Based on the relative amount of time it takes for Hajime to meet up with the others, Mikan's window of opportunity was a minute at least and 2 minutes at most.

Hifumi: Which is frankly an almost impossible feat of strength and power coming from someone like her, but we can talk more about that in a minute. Following the conclusion of the Killing Game, Mrs Tsumiki was one of the first people to be brought back to life in the other side, but unfortunately...the influence of the disease remained.

Leona: Perhaps it's because Mikan technically got two doses of the brainwashing, or because she remembered during the Killing Game; but either way, Mikan came back still as a remnant self, and caused a lot of trouble, especially since the object of her affection didn't remain in the world any longer, with both her real and AI self having been wiped out. Fortunately, Hajime and the others weren't about to give up on her, even after everything she did.

Hifumi: Ironically, Ibuki Mioda, a fellow Remnant, was the primary defender of Mikan's second chance, despite being one of her victims in the Killing Game. She assisted Mikan in recovering from the trauma and returning to a generally stable state of mind. And there was a lot of trauma to work through, in case we didn't convey that already.

Leona: I guess in the end, all she ever needed to get over her damaged body and mind was a healthy relationship. And she got MORE than that when it came to Ibuki! Turns out our loveable nurse isn't TOTALLY terrible with women! Then again, as simple as I am, I wouldn't be quick to enter a loving relationship with a girl who murdered me once before...

Hifumi: Mrs Tsumiki went on to rebuild her classmates' faith and trust in her, helping the Future Foundation with medical needs and healing people this time for the right reasons. Even though she is still emotionally hesitant and timid most of the time, she makes an effort to apply herself in the fight for good and works on growing rather than letting her past or her flaws define her. With all that being said...there WERE some problems.

Leona: Yeah, it turns out that even after restoring her honor, she still felt an itch...a craving for Despair...But she tried her best to suppress it for the sake of her classmates around her. She would never have dreamed of hurting her friends anymore, but she continued to relish the thoughts, and hated herself for it. However, she eventually learned to follow the old saying "If you can't lose it? USE it!"

Hifumi: I think you're misremembering "If you can't beat them, join them," but I suppose that works better here. Whenever things are at their bleakest, Mikan Tsumiki learned to instead of giving in to her lingering psychopathic tendencies, she would WEAPONIZE them. 

Leona: We in the analysis business give this idea a neat little name of "DESPAIR RAGE!" You know that meme of the doctor with the gun? "I'm a healer, but..." that one? Yeah, that's Mikan when she's in this state.

Hifumi: Not only does she become inherently more violent and destructive in this state, throwing most of her morality and conscious decisions to the wind, but Mrs Tsumiki also becomes more sociopathic, sometimes outright toying with her enemies, like she did to Nagito Komaeda when she had him at her mercy. While the state doesn't necessarily make her STRONGER, it does stop her from holding back in any way, shape or regard. 

Leona: On that note, to close out this segment, why don't we quickly go over some statistical feats? We've already established that she's really strong and fast, but despite her surprising strength, Mikan has a hard time applying that to fights. She IS a medic after all, not really a soldier, and applies most of her skills to healing wounds instead of causing them, unless it's as a last resort.

Hifumi: Which is why when Mrs Tsumiki is faced with combat, she chooses to less rely on strength and durability, and opts more for speed and smarts. Like hiding in the shadows to land a sneak attack, or setting and luring her opponents into traps. It helps that she seems to have an innate stealth ability and keen strategical prowess.

Leona: I guess when you're not capable of setting off nukes by taking a shit, this is the best you can do. Speaking of traps and durability though, I'd have to say her most impressive feat is the fact that she fought Nagito Komaeda in such a confined environment! And when he was an Ultimate Hope too!

Hifumi: I'm inclined to agree. Do you remember how we mentioned in our first matchup that Makoto Naegi was able to survive being thrown through a solid ceiling and walls? Well, during her fight against Komaeda, Mrs Tsumiki did the same thing! SEVERAL MORE TIMES IN QUICK SUCCESSION in fact!

Leona: As a reminder, we calculated in the third episode with Akane that the amount of energy required to send someone crashing through a solid stone wall 31.572 grams of TNT, since Akane herself did it with Nagito earlier in the same arc. Mikan's feat is significantly less impressive since the number of walls she was thrown through were thinner and fewer, but it's still an unbelievable feat for someone to survive, and that's not even mentioning what happened afterwards!

Hifumi: Mrs Tsumiki's penultimate plan was to keep Mr Komaeda distracted until the Future Foundation had enough time to blow up the building with the both of them inside it. This ultimately didn't do much in terms of stopping Komaeda, but the entire buildings collapse didn't kill HER either! She escaped with several wounds and a completely mangled foot, but with her life.

Leona: So all in all, just remember that if you ever tick this seemingly timid and sweet caretaker off, you may find yourself in a state worse than death. An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay!

Leona: We're about to get into some serious shit with this one, and no, I'm not kidding, so hold your horses.

Hifumi: Was that a pun, or did you say that on accident?

Leona: Welcome to the land of Equestria, a magical kingdom full of rolling plains, beautiful mountain ranges, and rainbows! A place where you just can't help but be happy! One of the places you'll find in this magical realm is Cloudsdale! Home of the Pegasuses...or Pegasi...or...Pegacivilians...Take your pick.

Hifumi: While Unicorns are known for their magic, and Earth Ponies are known for their connection to nature, their ability to fly, walk on clouds, and manipulate the weather are what makes the Pegasi unique.

Leona: Here's some juicy lore for you folks out there who stupidly thought that this was a simple toy franchise for little girls - The Pegasi are portrayed as a militaristic, organized tribe with a well-established fighting force and a cloud home filled with war-themed monuments. Members of the original Pegasus Tribe were in charge of weather control in exchange for food harvested by Earth ponies. To sum it up, the Pegasissies in the world of My Little Pony are kind of like Saiyan's in Dragon Ball, or at least a similar premise. Yes, really.

Hifumi: And just like it was with the Saiyan's and Son Goku, there's one Pony in particular who doesn't quite fit in line with the legacy of their bloodline. We can certainly see the warrior influence in Rainbow Dash, a previous DB competitor, but far from it in her best friend...The peace-loving, hug-mongering Fluttershy.

Leona: As someone who, to probably no one's surprised, is obsessed with MLP, allow me to take over most of the historical analysis here. As Hifumi just mentioned, Fluttershy, even as a filly, was not like the other Pegasusans in Cloudsdale. In fact, she was quite a notorious outcast who didn't fit in, nor get along with many of the others around her.

Hifumi: Mainly due to how she had a taller, ganglier body and larger wings, but also wasn't a very good flier, despite that basically being the Pegasi's thing. It would kind of be like if someone made fun of you for not being able to walk properly because you have a bonky leg, which...Yeah, that's...

Leona: Yeah, kinda fucked up, right!? My Little Pony addresses ABLEISM, and very early on in fact! She was given the rather disgraceful nickname of "Klutzershy" from the colts because of her clumsy nature, but a young Rainbow Dash stood up for her. She challenged Fluttershy's bullies to a race, but then...things went a LITTLE wrong...

Hifumi: During the race, Rainbow Dash and the bullies accidentally knocked Fluttershy off the clouds and down to the ground below, but she was conveniently saved by landing on a group of butterflies. However, this was the first time she had ever been outside of Cloudsdale and was unfamiliar with the world around her, and Fluttershy was overwhelmed by seeing the beauty of the animals and the greenery for the first time.

Leona: So much so that she started to sing a merry tune. You know, as you do. But a few moments later, Rainbow Dash, who had been frightened by Fluttershy's fall, burst in so fast to find her, she created a sonic rainboom that startled the animals and scared them into hiding.

Hifumi: Fortunately, it was here that Fluttershy discovered her true calling in life. She might not have been as fast, or as brave as the rest of her people, but learned that she had a gift for talking to animals, after managing to quiet the critters down after the scare. Moments later, she earned her Cutie Mark.

Leona: And no, that's not a euphemism for something. The cutie marks are obtained when Ponies discover a unique characteristic that sets themselves apart from others. Effectively, if she existed in our universe, this would the the symbol of Fluttershy's Ultimate Talent.

Hifumi: With time, Fluttershy established herself as one of the members of the Guardians of Friendship, or as the community calls them, the Mane 6, alongside Rainbow Dash, as well as Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately, even once she was a fully grown adult pony, her timidness and shyness didn't go away. I mean, it's in her name obviously, but she's typically very pacifistic and somewhat cowardly, possesses severe stage fright, and she was so shy in the first half of the series that she could hardly speak in front of strangers and that she was unable to say "no" when asked to do something that she didn't want to do.

Leona: But again, that's what makes it so weird and baffling, because just like her opponent, this "crouching moron" is a "hidden badass!"

Hifumi: Even early on in the series when it's most sold that Fluttershy is weaker than most Pegasi around her, it's also proven to NOT be the case. It may mainly be because of her lack of confidence in herself, but at her peak when she throws this to the wayside, usually out of fear or anger, she has the potential to be stronger AND faster than even Rainbow Dash.

Leona: She WAS able to outfly Rainbow Dash while towing two other ponies in a hot-air balloon, and kept up with her when creating a tornado. Something that the Pegasussusamongus do as part of their rituals in Equastria, and even though she's noted to not be as good at base level as the rest of her people, she SHOULD realistically be capable of this feat at her full potential.

Hifumi: You did that one on purpose...

Leona: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't?

Hifumi: You DEFINITELY did!

Leona: She's also ran the entire Running of the Leaves, a very intense running race, without showing a notable decrease in stamina, and her ability to empathize and communicate with animals has helped both herself and her allies in tight jams before. However, on top of all these wacky powers and abilities, there's one that really stands out that only she possesses...THE STARE! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

Hifumi: The Stare is, in short, Fluttershy glaring at you angrily like a disappointed mother, and she usually uses this look on misbehaving animals. While this doesn't sound THAT intimidating coming from a soft-spoken pony like her, it's proven to ACTUALLY be quite powerful, so much so that Fluttershy openly says she only employs it in life or death situations, or to maintain order. It's so effective, she was able to use it to tame a cockatrice!

Leona: Kind of like Medusa, staring a cockatrice in the eyes turns you to stone, which it did once to Twilight Sparkle. However, Fluttershy employed the stare on it, looking it dead in the eyes, and actually got it to RELENT, causing her own petrification to be reversed, as well as Twilight's.

Hifumi: However, despite how powerful this "Stare" really is, it has it's limitations. Namely, it's shown not working on powerful and/or chaotic and unrelenting creatures like the infamous Discord, who merely laughed in Fluttershy's face when she tried to use it on him. It also seems to have absolutely no effect on more aggressive creatures like Flash Bees.

Leona: But even amongst the incredible feats of the Pegusfring's, and her own powers like the stare, Fluttershy's main source of power comes from her own special magic. The Mane 6 are capable of wielding these special artifacts called the Elements of Harmony.

Hifumi: In the My Little Pony universe, the Elements of Harmony are commonly described as "the most powerful magic known to Ponydom." Thousands of years ago, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna discovered them and removed them from the Tree of Harmony. Every artifact symbolizes a facet of friendship and becomes active only when the wielder possesses the matching trait and when all six are used together.

Leona: That being said, Twilight Sparkle was able to use the Element of Magic by herself in Equestria Girls, so the latter part isn't exactly true. In the case of Fluttershy though, she wields the Element of Kindness!

Hifumi: The Kindness Element is represented by a pink butterfly-shaped gem set in a gold necklace, resembling the butterflies in Fluttershy's Cutie Mark. Though it's only really ever used as a last resort, using the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy can restore peace and balance in moments of complete and total anarchy. Aside from granting Fluttershy special magical powers like generating forcefields, the Element can be used to banish different villains to different planes of existence, like the moon, Tartarus, or limbo, or it can be used to imprison something, like when it was used to imprison Discord in stone.

Leona: Yeah, Tartarus is a thing in My Little Pony. I told you, the lore fucks! And if you didn't think THAT was crazy, the Element can also summon a rainbow tornado that no matter what, completely engulfs its target! If they are evil or opposed to harmony, this tornado will completely change their morality and they will show remorse for their actions!

Hifumi: A very fitting power for someone like Fluttershy, who even without the Element's power is already kindness and sympathy incarnate? Do you remember how we brought up Discord? He's a Draconequus who is LITERALLY the physical embodiment of disharmony and chaos, and was originally one of the ponies most terrifying foes.

Leona: Emphasis on "originally," because thanks to Fluttershy's kindness and her willingness to see the good in people; even after he went on to cause even more trouble for her and her friends, she was not only able to REFORM Discord of his evil ways, but became his best buddy! And potential love interest as a lot of the fandom will tell you, but that's a discussion for another time. So yeah, if anyone's gonna wield the Element of Kindness, it's Fluttershy!

Hifumi: To make things even worse for any enemy that might have the gall to underestimate her, Fluttershy is also capable of boosting her power through the last means you might expect from MLP, but then again, that seems to be a running theme...Transformation!

Leona: We could be here all day talking about this but to sum it up, there's basically this tree that has a chest, and unlocking this chest unleashes this ancient power inside it that allows the Mane 6, including Fluttershy, to take on the POWER OF THE RAINBOWS! Or...Rainbow Power as it's called. 

Hifumi: The Rainbow Power is only briefly seen, but following the opening of the chest, Fluttershy and her companions all gained more magic and underwent physical transformations. The Mane 6 used this power to defeat Lord Tirek, after he stole Twilight's powers, along with the magic of the entire population of Equestria! And that includes, Celestia, Luna and Discord's power!

Leona: The Rainbow Power and transformation bestows Fluttershy with all the same powers as the Element of Kindness tenfold! When she and her friends used it following the overpowered Tirek's rampage, she returned the stolen flight, strength, and magic back to the ponies of Equestria, even the Alicorns, and it also gives her powers like unlimited flight, powerful forcefield creation, summoning a gigantic spiritual Alicorn to aid in battle, and even increased Banishment powers like when she sent Tiren back to Tartarus with it.

Hifumi: And to top it all off, that's not the only transformation that Fluttershy possesses. She's also capable of taking on her own unique, and honestly rather deadly form...the Flutterbat!

Leona: So not only is Fluttershy at her peak a weather controller, multiversal goddess and the living embodiment of the concept of Kindness, she's also a FUCKING VAMPIRE! MY LITTLE PONY EVERYBODY!

Hifumi: To be more specific, Fluttershy became a vampire fruit bat-pony hybrid when Twilight unintentionally transferred the vampire fruit bats' desires to her. Her cutie mark transforms into three pink bats, and she gets fangs, bat wings, red eyes, and bat-like ears. She was able to outmaneuver the other ponies in the air with ease while squeezing the juice from apples and spitting out their seeds in this form.

Leona: So think a vampire that sucks on apple juice instead of blood. Twilight eventually managed to restore her back to normal, but at the end of the episode, Fluttershy retained a small fang, and later took the form of Flutterbat again to help Princess Luna defeat the Tantabus.

Hifumi: All in all, there's a LOT to Fluttershy than meets the eye, and thinking she's an easy target is a recipe for one's downfall. She has so forcefully bucked the back ends of two garbage wagonloads that they have flipped over to the vertical position and back again, skillfully wrestled a bear while trying to give it a massage, and withstood an attack from Sunset Shimmer when she herself was using the Element of Magic.

Leona: In one episode, she and Bulk Biceps, a very muscular Pegasoo, collided into a mountainside with such force that an indent was formed, and Fluttershy was crushed beneath Bulk's larger body. She is stuck on him when he flies off, but she appears surprised rather than pained, and in the following scenes, she is perfectly fine! She's also successfully defended herself against Iron Will, a really buff minotaur dude, fought and overpowered Cozy Glow for a time, stood up to a giant dragon despite her innate fear of them, and fought an army of Changelings, insect-like beings who feed off the love of others to gain power for their own.

Hifumi: Fluttershy may easily lose her cool when she's angered, and she may be cripplingly afraid of many things, but there's one indisputable fact about her. She's a VALID and DESERVING member of the Mane 6, and will pull her weight when she needs to, no matter what comes her way.

Hifumi: Alright, the combatants are set! We've run the data through all possibilities!

Leona: IT'S TIME FOR A DEEAAATH BAAATTLLLLLLEEE!

WARNING:The following battle contains actions of extreme violence committed on a character from  My Little Pony. We understand this sort of graphic content and description can perturb some readers, so while we don't normally give this warning, we will here. Should you wish to skip straight to the results, by all means do so.You have been warned.

The scene opens to into a peaceful setting within the middle of a quiet orchard on a sunny day in Equestria. The birds are singing, the animals are casually playing around.

This peace however, is interrupted by a terrified scream, as Mikan Tsumiki comes bursting into the clearing, crying and panicked, literally pulling her hair out.

Mikan: Where am I!? What's going on!? WHERE AM I!? WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Freaked out and scared at having randomly ended up in this strange and unfamiliar location, Mikan's mental state is rapidly crumbling, and the animals around her run for safety, feeling  threatened by her frankly overwhelming presence.

Meanwhile, not too far away, several more animals gather around a yellow and pink pony, tending to them and singing to them while doing so.

Fluttershy: ♪ I like the quiet, I like the calm...To turn it up, to sing along...I'm not just shy...Look close, and you will see...There's so much more to♪ -HUH!?

Fluttershy's soothing melody is swiftly interrupted as the animals cries from beyond the shrubbery grow closer. She lifts her head and sees several critters scurry from the bushes, followed by a clumsy, stumbling, purple-haired nurse, who trips over the branches and lands on her face. She quickly lifts her head to see Fluttershy staring back at her with astonishment.

Fluttershy: A human...!?

Mikan: KYAGH!? A-A t-t-talking horse!?

Fluttershy: How did you get here!? A-And why are you scaring the precious little animals away!?

Mikan: Wh-What!? No, no, no! Th-That's not what I

*CRUNCH!*

Fluttershy: HEEE!?

Mikan: EEEP!

Fluttershy, the animals and even Mikan herself gasp in horror, as Mikan gets to her feet and accidentally steps forward on top of a small mouse. The mouse squeaks in pain as it's crushed beneath her foot.

Fluttershy: Oh no! H-Hold on! I can help-!

*WHOOOSH!*

Mikan: AAGGGGH I'm SORRRYYYYY!

*SMACK!*

Fluttershy: GUGH!

Mikan: Agh...TCH!

Mistaking her approach for her trying to avenge the creature, Mikan fends Fluttershy off by grabbing her syringe from behind her back and swatting her away with it when she flies in to supposedly attack. Mikan looks back and forth between her weapon and her now opponent, her expression darkening as she realizes it's far too late for peaceful negotiations.

Though Fluttershy seems hesitant, she agrees to the duel regardless. With the exception of one deer who quickly grabs the poor mouse's body first, the rest of the animals quickly scarper, leaving the area open, as the fight begins!

Though initially trying to go in for the first blow, Fluttershy starts the fight by staying on the defensive. Mikan hoists her giant syringe up and takes some hefty swings. Though even in a panicked and confused state, Fluttershy easily avoids them.

*SHUNK!*

Fluttershy: KUGH!

Mikan: HUAGH!

*POW!*

Fluttershy: Haah...! U-Uwagh...Ngh...CHAGH!

Mikan: OOF!

When Mikan eventually gets a hit in while Fluttershy is at her most vulnerable, he punches the plunger to inject Fluttershy with the viscous anesthetic fluid inside. Fluttershy manages to break free just in time, and despite feeling lightheaded due to the anesthetic's effects, she counterattacks by using her front hooves to kick Mikan.

Fluttershy takes a moment while she has breathing room to check her wound. Seeing that she's slightly bleeding, she quickly wipes the wound with her hoof as Mikan recovers from her previous attack.

Mikan: What is going on...!? A-Am I hallucinating!? Is this some kind of dream...!?

Fluttershy notices that Mikan is panicking and in this moment, takes some sympathy on her.

Fluttershy: Hey, um...It occurs to me that we...may have jumped to conclusions before...You don't have to be so scared-

Mikan: N-No! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Mikan pulls out a bunch of smaller throwing syringes from her apron. Crying her eyes out in fear, she throws a barrage of them at Fluttershy, trying to turn the Pegasus into a pincushion.

Fluttershy: EEK!

Fluttershy's eyes widen as she sees these needles incoming, and she quickly rolls to the side and dashes out of the way. She flies forward, but looks back, worried that the needles might hit any of the animals.

Fortunately, they collide with the trunk of a thick tree and get stuck. Unfortunately, Fluttershy, not looking where she's going, bumps into Mikan. The two clatter to the floor, the latter in a rather compromising position that she quickly covers up.

Mikan: KYAAGH!

Fluttershy: Oh, sorry! I'm so sorry!

Mikan: No, that was my-Ugh...It's ok...Hold on, let me-

Fluttershy: N-No, let me get this for-OOF! My, this is REALLY heavy!

Mikan: No, no, I've got it! Thank you though...

Fluttershy: Sorry, I wasn't looking!

Mikan: No, seriously, thank you!

Fluttershy: Anytime!

Mikan & Fluttershy: Huh? Wait...Oh, DANGIT!

After a brief distraction, in which Fluttershy helps Mikan to her feet and tries to hand her back her primary weapon, the two forget that they're supposed to be fighting and cuss themselves out for it. Mikan takes the first strike, almost pinning Fluttershy to the ground with her heavy weapon before the Pegasus shoves her backwards.

*WHOOSH!*

Mikan: Huh!? WAH-!?

*CRACK!*

Mikan: GUAAAGGH!

*SLAM!*

Mikan: OHOUGH!

Fluttershy: HEEEH!

In quick succession, Fluttershy darts between Mikan's legs, kicks her square in the back from behind, grabs her legs and pins her to the ground, similarly to how she does when she's massaging bears, though this is done with the intention of holding Mikan still on the ground.

Fluttershy: Please, just listen to me! I'm sorry I scared you! We don't have to be fighting like this!

Mikan: Haah...! Haaah...! Haaaah...! NRGH!

Fluttershy: YOWCH!

Fluttershy's wishes for peace aren't granted. Mikan gets Fluttershy off of her by grabbing another small needle and stabbing her in the ankle, injecting more of the fluid. Mikan throws Fluttershy off of her, grabs her big weapon, and dives into the trees.

Fluttershy: Wait...! C-Come back...!

Fluttershy calls after her, but the anesthetic makes her even more dizzy, and she's unable to see straight for a moment. Mikan on the other hand, hides behind a rather thick tree trunk in a darker part of the orchard, cradling her body and starting to hyperventilate.

Mikan: What do I do...!? What do I do...!? I don't even know where I am and I...I...!

You hurt them...

Mikan: Geh!?

It never ends...You hurt everybody...

Mikan: Stop...!

She'll kill you...

Mikan: No, no...!

She should...

Mikan: Grrgh...!

Die, you piece of shit...!

Mikan: Forgive me...! Please...forgive me...! I...

She slowly rises to her feet. She then slowly lifts her head, her expression having changed dramatically. The tears stop flowing, her lips stop quivering, she holds her syringe with a tight grip, and her eyes become swirled with layers and layers of anguish and darkness.

Mikan: I won't stop...until you FORGIVE ME!

Fluttershy: Please, c-come out...! I can help you...!

Fluttershy stirs as she suddenly hears the sound of something fast through the leaves behind her. She quickly turns around, but only sees traces of something that was there. She hears the same sound again and turns again, seeing the same thing.

Fluttershy: Human...? Wh-Where are you...!?

Mikan: Here...!

Fluttershy: HUH!?

*SHUUNK!*

Fluttershy: GHAAAAGH!

Fluttershy screams in agony as without a word of warning, besides Mikan's sadistic teasing, she feels the incredibly sharp pang of the giant needle in the back of her body! Though being restrained, Fluttershy turns her head enough to see that Mikan's timid demeanor has gone, and now the look in her eyes bares naught but a despairful rage.

Mikan: Heeheheheheheh! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAGH!

Fluttershy: OOPH! RRGGGH!

Mikan: Heeeehehh...Hehehehhehehhheeegh...!

Mikan grabs Fluttershy by her jaw with one hand, holding onto the pony tightly as she uses her other to pump her full of the drugs in her weapon. Fluttershy's vision slowly begins to go dark, and the more the anesthetic enters her system, the weaker she gradually becomes, allowing Mikan to dominate her; baring a sadistic and perverse smile all the while.

Mikan then, to add insult to the very painful injury, kicks Fluttershy onto the ground and bounces off her into the air. While airborne, she once again reaches into her apron and produces several more syringes, which she holds between her fingers. She smiles down at Fluttershy, sticking out her tongue, sweating, and with a face-wide blush of ecstacy.

Mikan: Here's your PRESCRIPTION!

*SHUNK!* *SHUNK!* *SHUNK SHUNK* *SHUNNKKK!*

Fluttershy: KYAAAAAAAAAAAGGH! 

The pain is agonizing! Fluttershy is injected with multiple sharp objects all over her body, pumping her full of drugs and rendering her nearly incapacitated and in immense pain, despite the needles causing little bleeding. She begins to lose sensation in her legs and her vision begins to warp. Mikan lands, picks up her enormous syringe, and moves slowly toward the Pegasus, raising the needle above her head for the final blow. All Fluttershy can do is crawl forward helplessly.

Fluttershy: No...Please...d-don't...! Huh?

Though her vision is still shaky, Fluttershy looks forward and meets eyes with a lone fruit bat, which is passing through, unaware of what's really going on with the situation and just looking for apples to eat in the orchard.

The bat glares into her eyes, and despite her agony, something stirs within Fluttershy, and her eyes widen, only to morph into an enraged and deranged frown as she feels her body begin to change...! Meanwhile, Mikan finally lets her chunky syringe fall down towards her head!

Mikan: DIE!

However, much to Mikan's surprise, as soon as she brings the needle down on Fluttershy, the pony disappears. This time, it's HER turn to be surprised when she senses a presence behind her...!

Flutterbat: *HIISSSS*

Mikan: GUAGH! GAGH! *SPLUTTER!*

Fluttershy, now FlutterBAT, smacks Mikan with her now hefty tail, sending her crashing into another tree trunk. Mikan lazily crawls to her feet and glares back at her attacker, who menacingly hangs upside down from a tree branch sucking on an apple.

Mikan: Filthy fucking rabies infested CREATURE!

Flutterbat: *SCREEEECCH!*

Mikan yells these enraged words out while hoisting her syringe over her shoulder before sprinting back into the fray. Similarly, Flutterbat drops from her perch and flies toward the Ultimate Nurse like small plane.

The sheer force of Flutterbat's wings almost knocks Mikan over, but she manages to stand and stabs Fluttershy with her syringe once more. This time, though, she sees that it does much less to slow Fluttershy down.

Mikan: What in the hell ARE you, freak!?

Flutterbat: *SCREEEECCH!*

Flutterbat, naturally, has nothing to say in response, and Mikan's frustration at not being able to gain the upper hand over her opponent grows. But Flutterbat also has trouble dealing Mikan any significant damage. She attempts to bite Mikan in retaliation, but the nurse dodges it and kicks her out of the way, only to have a gust of wind throw her back in turn.

Flutterbat: *HIISSSS*

Mikan: KYRRAAAAAGGH!

Mikan and Flutterbat trade violent blows, with Mikan using her syringe to hit Flutterbat and the former using her tail, sending each other flying back into the trees.

Flutterbat: Agh...Ngh...Hm?

Mikan: Haah...Hagh...HRGH! Huuh! Huuh! Huuh!

The blow into the tree has an interesting effect on Flutterbat as the transformation and continued fighting frees her of the initial effects of Mikan's drug-induced lunacy, making her vaguely come to her senses. When the pony sees the Nurse hyperventilating, clearly in a state of a panic attack, her reason comes back to her.

With it, Flutterbat drops out of her transformation and becomes Fluttershy again. Mikan's panic attack leaves her open to another blow, but Fluttershy refrains.

Before she can do or say anything, the animals from earlier slowly poke their heads out from the bushes, sensing a break in the fighting. Among them, Fluttershy sees the mouse Mikan stepped on earlier, now feeling a lot better, as it squeaks happily, but then squeaks in concern as it looks back towards Mikan. 

Fluttershy also looks back at Mikan, who is still on the ground, breathing heavily. She smiles and nods towards her animal companions, as they prepare a plan.

Fluttershy: I...think I understand it now...! Everyone was so afraid of you...but you've been afraid this whole time, right? You must have end

Mikan: Grrgh...Hngh...

Fluttershy: I guess it's true, huh? It's so sad. I'm so sorry...But still...

Fluttershy stamps her hoof on the ground, drawing the panicked and crazed Mikan's attention. Fluttershy then employs her most deadly technique - THE STARE!

Fluttershy: That's NO excuse for your behavior! You need to calm down!

Mikan: ...

Fluttershy: ...

Mikan: Are you making fun of me...! Please! DON'T PICK ON ME!

*SHWOOSH!* 

*CLINK!*

Mikan: Huh!?

Fluttershy: Yeah, I somehow knew that wouldn't work...!

Fluttershy giggles, embarrassed that her trick didn't work, but also clearly not having expected it to. But to Mikan's shock and surprise, as she throws another array of needles towards Fluttershy, they seem to bounce off her. In reality, they collide with a forcefield the Pegasus puts around herself.

While distracting Mikan with The Stare, Fluttershy's animal companions hang the golden necklace that is the Element of Kindness around her neck, and Fluttershy does not hesitate to use it's power to protect herself.

Mikan panics and throws more needles, but they also bounce off. Fluttershy bears an expression of sympathy, but also determination as she and her animal friends stride slowly towards the Ultimate Nurse.

Fluttershy: I meant it when I said I don't want to hurt you...But without my friends here...I need to do this...!

*SHIIIIIINE!*

Mikan: KRRGH! H-HUH!?

Mikan is nearly blinded by a light that erupts from Fluttershy's body, and once it dissipates, she looks up in horror to see Fluttershy in her Rainbow Power form.

Fluttershy: I think you should be careful...

Mikan: Wha-!? WAAAGHAAAGH! WHAT IS THIIIIS!?

Fluttershy: It's the most powerful magic in all of Equestria...Friendship!

Mikan: KYRAGH! KYAAAHAGH!

Die...Kill...No...NOOOOO...! STOP! NOOOOOOOO!

Mikan: H-Huh!?

Mikan's eyes shut tight as she's suddenly swept off her feet by a tornado made of rainbows that completely envelops her. However, they shoot open again, not in fear, not in shock or horror...but in clarity.

The voices in her head that drive her into despair...the foundation of her despairing rage...she feels them being washed away, and for the first time in her entire life...she feels free.

However, despite this, her nightmare doesn't appear to be over, as she stares back up at Fluttershy, who's body glows with a white light, and her eyes white out as she's filled with power.

Fluttershy: Heehee...!

*POYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

Mikan: K-KYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!

Fluttershy, with a warm and cheerful smile, and with the animals of the orchard hovering around her in bliss and tranquility, fires a golden beam of light down onto her opponent, and Mikan screams in fear as she sees her body slowly but surely begin to turn into stone! Starting with her feet and working it's way up into her head, the broken Ultimate Nurse becomes a solid frozen ornament.

Fluttershy slowly descends to the ground with her animal friends, and returns to her base form. She's completely healed of every wound she suffered during the fight and her vitality is restored to normal. She and the animals approach the statue and carefully watch it.

Fluttershy: Once my friends arrive, we'll let you go free, and I'll gladly let you join my tea party! ...But for now, I'm sorry, but I have to sit you in time out...

Leona: Ah, poor poor Mikan. First a victim of batshit Danganronpa lore, now a victim of even more batshit My Little Pony lore. But hey, at least she didn't "DIE" die...

Hifumi: Unsurprisingly, this match was pretty clear cut. Though despite the one-sidedness in terms of how each combatants abilities stack up to each others, Mikan Tsumiki DID possess her own fair share of advantages. 

Leona: To start with, Mikan's primary way of taking out enemies is using her needles to either rip them to shreds, or inject them with enough anesthetic to send them into comatose. Despite it still being pretty high when scaled to other characters in My Little Pony, Fluttershy's defense is easily her weakest stat, and she's evidently not immune to drugs...and I genuinely can't believe I just said that.

Hifumi: Tsumiki's best shot at winning this fight would be to catch Fluttershy off guard, and inject her with enough sleeping drugs that she falls unconscious and deliver an easy killing blow that way, assuming Fluttershy doesn't somehow die from the overdose. And with her evidently unmatched stealth and speed skills, as well as the fact that she's undoubtedly far more strategic than her Pegasus opponent, it was entirely possible she could get the jump on Fluttershy, who all things considered is very gullible and easily duped, and achieve exactly that!

Leona: That being said, while not IMPOSSIBLE, it was still very unlikely. It took SEVERAL shots, and even Mikan having to distribute basically all of the drugs contained in her claymore needle to render Nagito Komaeda unconscious. This is most likely because Nagito's Ultimate Hope abilities gave him an exponential increase in stamina that allowed him to resist the drugs for a long time, only taking effect with one final shot following several battles in succession.

Hifumi: And based on the calculations of her feats, as well as scaling her to Rainbow Dash in particular, it's likely that Fluttershy's max stamina was MUCH HIGHER than even that.

Leona: As were MOST of Fluttershy's stats at that. Mikan was fast, being able to outpace Nagito Komaeda, who possesses above superhuman speed and reactions, but Fluttershy was DEFINITELY faster, so much so that it's hard to even lock down her maximum speed. Scaling it to Rainbow Dash though, who she was able to keep up with when creating the tornado, we know she's at least faster than light.

Hifumi: In terms of physical strength, in both their base form and Despair and Flutterbat forms respectively, they might have been equal in terms of attack potency, but to reiterate, Mikan Tsumiki's primary weapon is a 150 lbs syringe, and though she IS able to wield it, she does so sluggishly, in a way that Fluttershy just can't NOT dodge easily.

Leona: Another advantage Mikan held was that based on the way the ability works, it's most likely that in her Despair Rage state, she would be immune to Fluttershy's stare, just like Discord and the Flash Bees were, since Mikan is also a very aggressive creature in this state that honestly relishes on fear more than it perturbs her.

Hifumi: However, what Mikan would NOT have been immune to was the Elements of Harmony, and there was no way in hell she was EVER going to beat Fluttershy in her Rainbow Power form. In fact, Fluttershy's power of the Element of Kindness basically countered every ability she had left.

Leona: Her powers could easily allow her to generate a barrier that blocks all of Mikan's weapons and projectiles, and would cleanse of her any lingering effects of the drugs if there were any. And to top it all off, Fluttershy's rainbow tornado would wipe every trace of evil and Despair away from Mikan, effectively taking away her Despair Rage state and every ability and bloodlust along with it. She could also just as easily use the Element of Harmony to turn Mikan to stone like with Discord and the other villains in MLP. You know, if Mikan really is struggling to cope with her past and the Despair still inside her, she should probably ask Fluttershy for therapy. Pretty sure it would do her wonders!

Hifumi: Let's be honest, if these two ACTUALLY met, there's NO WAY they would fight. They have a lot in common, with both of them being pretty wimpy, timid and sweet in their base forms, and not being able to fight at full potential unless angered or despaired. Despite their far from intimidating appearances, both Mrs. Tsumiki and Fluttershy have shown feats of strength and ability far beyond the average human or pony.

Leona: But that is the exact reason why Mikan falls so far of the victory here. One is a human, and the other is a pony. Mikan possesses no form of special combat abilities or powers, but Fluttershy has used her unique abilities alongside her friends to take down opponents like Discord and Tirek; both godly beings far beyond anything Mikan could ever HOPE to take down.

Hifumi: Mikan Tsumiki was a terrifying foe, but Fluttershy's total dominance and undefeatable power of Kindness and Friendship put the Ultimate Nurse in her stone-cold place.

Leona: Though she was Flutter-SHY of victory, fortunately for Mikan, forgiveness is the NEEDLE that knows how to mend!

THE WINNER IS FLUTTERSHY!

Next Time:

The world is under attack and the robot invaders are taking over! But don't worry! These two unlikely teenage heroes are going to step up, fight for and with their families, and take back humanities world! But when the odds collide, which one of these average teenage girls is gonna come out on top?

#Youtube #danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #mikan tsumiki #death battle #warriors of other worlds arc

[doulafaith]

The Breakthrough

“His Abide”  Reading  Reflecting Responding To God’s Word while Walking it Out Context: Matthew 27: 1-66 Focus:  Matthew 27:51-52 “At that moment the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked and the rocks were split. The tombs broke open, and the bodies of many saints who had fallen asleep were raised.” Matthew 27: 51-52 Definition: Breakthrough – a military…

View On WordPress

#abandoned #Committing our souls to Jesus #Complete atonement #Darkness over the Whole Earth #Ephesians 5:25-31 #forsaken #Genesis 2: 21-23 #Hebrews 12:5 #Hebrews 13:5 #Isaiah 26:17-18 #Jesus took on our condemnation #John 19:34 #Luke 23:34 #Luke 23:46 #Matthew 27:51-52 #Neither abandoned nor Forsaken #Psalm 119:105 #Released into the Father&039;s Hand #Romans 8:1 #Romans 8:39 #When Darkness Covered the Earth

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 4/23

What am I feeling today?

Honestly, I feel guilty for not posting my quiet times lately. I’ve been learning some incredible things and it’s selfish to keep it to myself and also not useful to me if I don’t have it written down anywhere because then I forget! Also, I’m feeling overwhelmed, it’s my last week of the semester and I’m worried about school, the fashion show, and women’s day at my church because they’re all happening within this next week and it’s just a lot on my plate because I want to be able to achieve it all to the best of my ability.

The Prideful Soul’s Guide to Humility

Reality Will Not Change

Man will never succeed in his effort to pull himself up to the level of God, and he certainly will never be in a position where he will be able to look down on God. Cocky, arrogant man may make disparaging comments about God. He may ridicule God. He may prance and strut around as though he is more clever than God. He may boast that he does not need God. He may live as though he is "the master of his fate and the captain of his soul." But one day he will stand in the presence of the righteous and holy God, and he will tremble as he realizes that he was never greater than God. It was all an absurd, fool-hearted and deadly game of pretending. Isaiah describes such a man

Isaiah 14:12-17 NIV

“How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.” But you are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit. Those who see you stare at you, they ponder your fate: “Is this the man who shook the earth and made kingdoms tremble, the man who made the world a wilderness, who overthrew its cities and would not let his captives go home?””

This ruler that Isaiah is describing once exercised authority over many. So expansive was his power that he fantasized that he could make himself like the Most High. But his glory was short-lived, and he ended up just like the other men in the shame of the grave.

So it will be with every pride. ful soul that does not bow in humility before the God who made him. Nothing man can do will change reality. He is not God. He will never be God. As long as he ignores that truth, his life will be headed for a disastrous conclusion. For God opposes the proud.

James 4:6 NIV

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.””

1 Peter 5:5 NIV

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.””

The Truth Sets You Free

Jesus taught, "You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." Even those who do not acknowledge Jesus as the Christ agree that this is the highest kind of wisdom. Universities place this saying over their doors. Scientists are fiercely committed to finding the truth. Whenever you ask for guidance or counsel, you want to get it from someone who is fully in touch with the truth.

When you make decisions on the most important issues in your life, you need to be in touch with the most central truths of life. The most important truth any of us can ever know is that there is a God, but we are not him. Any confusion about either one of those things gets us into big trouble. There is a great and powerful God who wants a relationship with us and who will use his amazing power to bless our lives, but we are the creatures and he is the Creator. Everything we have, we have from his hand. Have you done some great things? Have you received some recognition for accomplishments? If so, you did those things with the mind and strength God gave you. Without him you would be nothing.

As Paul said to the proud Athenians: “He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else” (Acts 17:25)

The basis for humility, then, is quite simple. Humility is the only thing that makes sense because of how eternal and unchanging and powerful God is and how fading and precarious and dependent we are. Nothing you do in your life will ever change that. People are sometimes humble until they enjoy some great success. What fools we can be! A little success, achieved by the grace of God, does not change the nature of reality. It does not change who you are and who God is.

To live in accordance with the truth, we all need to practice the presence of God. We need to live all the time just as if we were standing in the presence of someone very important because we are. Think of some recent prideful thing you did. Would you have done that if you had been aware that you were standing in the very presence of the holy, righteous and almighty God? Would you have treated your friend the way you did? Would you have treated your spouse the way you did? Would you have taken the credit that you took? Would you have been defensive when corrected?

This is such a good reminder for me because sometimes I don’t think about the fact that everything I do is in the presence of God. I can go about my day ignoring Him sometimes or thinking He’s not around to see certain things but that so blind and ignorant! He’s literally watching me right now and every moment of my life! I need to go about the days of my life acknowledging Him because He’s everywhere!

#bible #quiet time #bible quote #bible scripture #bible verse #christian blog #christian faith #christian living #christianity #faith in jesus #bible study #devo #faith #faith in god #jesus #devotional #disciple of christ #daily devotional #discipleship #jesus saves #jesus loves you #love #christian #saras devotionals #4/23

[monsterfuxkermarya]

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman.

And I, unfortunately, am a lot like the type o-negative song, simply titled “Christian woman”. I will never be like the nuns at my church or the dedicated mother doting on her children, either.

I give into temptation. I lust and give into the sins of the flesh. I beg to serve and be served sexually. I want to be on my back or knees.

But, Christ, oh Corpus Christi. The purest lamb, son of god and carpenter.

I bow my head in shame when I see someone pray. I wonder what it’s like not to struggle with your religion. I sob violently when I pray, ashamed of who I’ve become. I know the child I used to be is wondering where I went wrong, why I no longer try to believe. I cry for her when I pray.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I’ve failed to meet so many expectations put upon me.

I curse like a sailor. I steal alcohol occasionally. I’ve gotten high. I masturbate at least three times a week. I skip church. I refuse to kiss and venerate the cross or priest, not out of disrespect, but shame and loss of belief. I don’t venerate the icon and I refuse to go to confession. I can’t look at an icon without my eyes welling up with tears in shame. When I was forced to go to church I was told I had to take communion, even if i hadn’t prepared or fasted. I felt so ashamed that I took your body and blood, knowing I had in no way prepared for it.

I was once the lamb covered in mud because time and time again I ran away from the herd and got stuck in a bush of thorns. My once beautiful coat is muddied. My skin is bruised and cut. My soul is tainted.

I can only hope that my sins will be washed away at the pearly gates. My coat will sparkle a fresh white, my bruises and cuts gone, my soul pure.

Because as I am no lamb anymore. I am the goat. The devils creature. My eyes have turned into slits because I judge people. I have grown horns to defend myself. My coat is so matted it becomes thin and bristly. My tail is jagged and torn.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I, unfortunately, pray for forgiveness every Sunday night. The same night I usually find my fingers knuckle deep in my virgin sex.

I beg to be saved, to be cleansed by the holiest of holy water. I grip my prayer rope tightly and beg for this round of Our Father’s to be the one I stick to. I weep every time I go to confession, so ashamed of the sins I’ve committed.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. But Jesus would still wash my feet, right?

I still have a favorite set of Bible verses I say to myself when I’m scared. The small child in me repeats them when the sky lights up with thunder and lightning in the dead of night. Joshua 1:9 and Ephesians 2:8-10 repeat every time I have to do something I’m scared to do.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. I feel weak when I can’t continue my fasts because I get light headed and nauseous on my period.

I feel so unclean and ashamed of my period, even though it is a miracle and a blessing to be so healthy. I cry when my cramps hit, not only because of pain, but shame, knowing our savior went through so much more to save us. I writhe in pain for hours, hoping my suffering will make up for my sins.

My suffering will never make up for my sins. It will never make up for the people I’ve hurt and driven away. It will never make up for all the times I pushed Lord Christ away.

My back aches. My head pounds. My throat is dry and my eyes strain. My feet are sore. I know that if I were to come back to the light, be the lamb once again, my pain and suffering would subside. I could once again bask in the healing light of the Lord. But I feel as if I’m too far gone. My body has contorted into that of a goat, devilish and angry. I must defend myself as I have no God to guide me anymore. I strayed too far from his light.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I can barely look Father John in the eyes.

He’s been my priest since I was a kid, I love him dearly. But I can’t even fathom telling him these thoughts. Having a person I’ve known since I was a kid know my struggles. I’m scared he’d bash me for falling so far from the light.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. I fear the day that lent starts. It’s marked on my calendar with a question mark. March 18, 2024: lent starts?

It’s not a question because I don’t know when it starts, I’ve been aware since the beginning of the year. It’s a question because Am I Gonna Participate This Year? Will I go to vespers, will I go to confession, will I read the gospels, will I attend the matins services, will I fast, will I? Will I?

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I know all my actions and words cast shame upon my family.

My dad’s side of the family is from Greece. My grandma, God rest her soul, was a devout Greek Orthodox Christian. I know the farther I fall from my faith the more shame I put upon her and all her family before her.

My mom converted to marry my dad in the Orthodox Church. I wonder if she struggled with her faith as much as I do.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And my church is unfortunately my second home.

And I am estranged from my second home.

It brings me so much guilt and pain to step into my church, but the second I smell the incense and the chanting hits my ears I know I am home. The incense is infused with rose, the chanting in soft Greek and Arabic. I used to be able to chant with them fluently as a kid. I used to ask my dad what certain geek words meant. He’d spend hours explaining it if he had the time back then.

Oh, and the theotokos, the bearer of god, mother of the savior. I was so infatuated with you. I’d draw your icon in my sketchbook. I’d talk to you like you were my own mom as I waited to confess alone. I can’t imagine the pain you went through when you saw your son get nailed to the cross.

I weep in front of your icon now. I look at you and oh holy Jesus the Christ and weep. I have fallen so far you look like tiny dots of light from where I lay in the darkness.

I used to walk around the church in circles, looking at each and every icon. The portraits of saints, the depictions of the holy gospels, the last supper, Christ raising from the dead, Lazarus raising from the dead. I used to ask Father John who a certain saint was if their icon was really unique and look them up later.

I miss Lazarus Saturday and eating Lazarakia with my brother. I miss eating dolmas and plain rice as potluck instead of the usual feast because it was lent. I miss breaking the fast at three in the morning because that’s when the service finally ended when it started at 10:30 PM. I miss playing tsougrisma with my family. I miss screaming “Alithos anesti!” With the congregation. I miss trying to respond “indeed he has risen!” in as many languages as possible on Easter Sunday.

Because I am no longer a fortunate Christian woman. I am an unfortunate Christian woman.

And I long to go to church and not question the teachings.

And I long to make palm crosses with my mom and her friends.

And I long to read at the matins services and chant in the choir.

And I long to breathe in the incense and leave smelling like it.

And I long to be held in the warm and loving embrace of our Lord and savior Jesus the Christ.

And I long to say, “forgive me a sinner”, to be met with a soft hug and the loving response, “God forgives and I forgive” at forgiveness Sunday.

Forgive me a sinner, for I am an unfortunate Christian woman. I have sinned against thee.

#god #religion #tw religious themes #vent post #personal vent #slam poetry #maybe idk #monster fuxker marya #ex religious #religious guilt #yes it’s not smut #yes this is serious #im so sorry if you find out this way #orthodox christianity

[viviennelamb]

In The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ by Saint Anne Catherine Emmerich, what stands out is that the accusers said Jesus was lying about being the Son of God and started whipping him, kicking him, stomping on him, pushing a crown of thorns into his head, crucifying him in the end... they had to keep drinking wine to remain in their sadistically cruel mindset which reflected as their bone-chillingly sick actions in the material world.

I have zero sympathy for the weak which are those who succumb to their lower nature. Those who allow their minds to be compromised by filthy vibrations think they're superior for being doped up and mind-numbingly ignorant.

This information will only work for the totally sober and innocent:

Find a spiritual bodyguard. People who are on any type of drug will find any reason to go against you, especially if you tell the truth and are helping individuals who are actually the most oppressed in this hellhole (hint: it's not heterosexual women who suck dick and create the patriarchy - that is a conspiracy they are literally conspiring in).

Druggies only believe in the hell they have created for themselves and want to fan their anti-chaste, anti-lesbian, anti-God flames onto those who are beautiful. It's up to you to choose to believe truth or lies but know that the accusers pretended they were the victims of Jesus while nailing him to the cross... People who work day and night to implant fear in others have an agenda while those who direct you to Truth display nothing but Divine Radiance.

Drug and sex addicts purposefully incite emotionality within themselves by destroying their brains, inducing states of psychosis to justify their mistreatment of the genuine. I've noticed that people who do drugs are drawn to each other and listen to each other's crackpot theories and create conspiracy theory maps that don't make any sense when life is simple: the more pure you are of mind, body and soul, the closer to God you are. Individuals intoxicated with negative energy are not worth any value other than a painful lesson that will only be destroyed.

Once you read their drivel, you are accepting that into your consciousness. God help you if you get high then read their bullshit and then wonder why you're paranoid and want to commit self-annihilation. Inner and outer calmness through purity (i.e. being completely and totally You without any additions or subtractions) is key to improving one's health, not the belief in useless philosophies. Depending on a drug won't get you anywhere except a one-way, ticket to Satan Consciousness while satanic drivel is incomprehensible to a clean mind...

If you want a spiritual bodyguard, I recommend the Immaculate Living Saint Olivia who will protect you when you think of her, especially if you're an actual lesbian (and not a predator feminist pretending to be one). If my posts make you feel better and help you clear your mind of the doped-up delusions of the masses keep reading, but choose somebody who is fully God-Realized and resonates with you and meditate on their blissful message.

My inspiration comes from God, Guru and all Saints, but please remain vigilant of distractions that make you feel wrong for choosing love over fear. Drug addicts are fickle, going back and forth between these two frequencies and it's not worth involving yourself in their superstition. Although I'm not like other false spiritualists who value lust, one thing I will never do is implant fear (or the path to fright through lust) into your mind. Individuals who incite fear into you are not on your side, they are projecting so they have company in misery.

Only accept information from people who make you feel protected and that aura will follow you around protecting you. If you feel Satanists can protect you, so be it. The more conspiracies you read, the more fearful you become, it will manifest in your life and the more you will want to use drugs and other forms of self-abuse to escape it. If you're done with pointless masochism let go of everything that makes you weak and begin exercising your spiritual hardiness so you become spiritually immovable!

#Satanists often go after sexuality because that's their soft spot. they hate pure women and they especially hate women who want to #stay away from males aka chaste sovereign “separatists”... nobody is more anti-beautiful woman than an ugly feminist... #the more you deny their sex and drugs the more their ego gets destroyed... the more u enable addiction the bigger it grows. #when I read the mistreatment of Godly people as a child i always told myself that I would've stood by their side #i'm sticking to that promise now that I've found Truth and I'll never turn my back on Saints!

[ethicalgnome]

Flesh and Christianity

Someone asked me to make a video about the intersection between the Flesh and the Eucharist a while back, and I will, but I also want to scream my broader thoughts about Flesh and religion into the void for a moment. Pardon any rambling, I find this very interesting but there is also a LOT to cover and I’m frantically writing this at 1am. Everything I say about theology is, for the most part, a generalisation or simplification, because there is no way in hell that I’m fitting the entirety of the Catholic theology on the body into a tumblr post.

Disclaimers over.

In episode 130, we hear Lucia Wright describe the ‘hole filled with meat’. We later learn that this was the Flesh ritual, something that Gertrude calls ‘The Last Feast.’ The connection to the Last Supper may be a bit obvious, but I do think it establishes that the Flesh does tie into Christianity, both symbolically (‘this bread is my body’), and perhaps more spiritually. I’ll get to that in a bit, but there’s a more to say about Episode 130 first.

Gnosticism is a lesser known branch of Christianity, mostly by design (persecution on grounds of heresy will do that to you). The relevant part is that Gnostics believed in an entity that oversaw and shaped the physical word; an entity known as the Demiurge. Some Gnostics believed the Demiurge to be malevolent, and possibly the entity known as Yahweh/Jehovah (heresy indeed), which is an incredibly contentious can of worms for another day. As Lucia Wright puts it, as it’s the overseer of the physical, the Demiurge could be referred to as ‘The God of the Flesh’. Therefore, an old Gnostic temple being chosen as the location for the Last Feast seems to be more than just a coincidence, or a connection in name only, but something more spiritual. Therefore, its my opinion that the Flesh is not just connected to Christianity, but is integral to it - at least in the TMA universe. 

The human body is so topical in Christianity that it has its own branch of theology. The body was created in God’s own image (and isn’t that a Fleshy concept in and of itself? Our bodies aren’t “ours” - they have been created and shaped by some entity beyond our understanding). Humans, in Christian theology, are broadly divided into body and soul. Our souls are what make us divine - our bodies hold us back, and are generally considered to be what carries our sins. ‘The flesh is weak.’ The body is what tempts us towards our whims; food and sex, gluttony and lust. Without our useless sinful flesh, we would be far closer to God (incidentally, this was also the thinking in several early neo-Platonic Islamic schools of thought, but that’s not really relevant and is just the philosophy nerd in me speaking). Our bodies are but vessels; for our souls, and for the weight of human sin, always tempting us to keep sinning. This leaves a door for the Flesh wide open; because the idea of our bodies being evil, or even of being designed by another entity entirely (the Demiurge for Gnostics, Yahweh/God for most other branches of Christianity) is objectively horrifying, and ties very neatly into what can make the Flesh so scary. It’s not just freaky meat - it’s freaky evil meat that’s outside of our control. The flesh is sinful, the flesh is transformed - this bread is the body of Jesus, this wine is his blood.

If you’re in a branch of Christianity that follows Communion and believes it to be a case of transubstantiation (bread and wine turning into the body and blood of Christ), you essentially commit religious cannibalism every Sunday during the Eucharist. If you deconstruct the Eucharist, it’s a veritable horror flick - a group of people enter a room, eat bread that is really the flesh of a human body that died two millennia ago, and drink wine that is really the blood of that same body. More than that, it’s transformed; regular food and drink turn into meat, and everyone present seems to accept that. The transmutation of the flesh, and the consumption of a human body, especially in such a holy and revered setting, feels very Fleshlike to me. This is why I consider the Flesh to have been one of the entities present in Episode 20 - Father Burroughs unwittingly committing cannibalism during Holy Communion is such a powerful image of the intersection between the Flesh and Christianity, that it made me go down this spiraling rabbit-hole of thoughts.

To be clear, there are huge discrepancies between various Christian groups on how they interpret both the Eucharist and the human body; what I describe here is mostly the Catholic interpretation  (though it applies to quite a few groups), because Father Burroughs was Catholic and it makes all my theorising more plot-relevant. 

Anyways, that’s it for now. Thank you, void, for listening.

#the magnus archives #the flesh #tma #tma entities #mag 130 #mag 20 #im christian don't get mad at me for this