#Batman can't have them

[azulhood]

John Constantine had a habit of picking up strays.

From half demons (like Raven) to demigods (like Billy Batson) to other extremely powerful magical children.

It was rumored among Justice League Dark that Batman's adopting problem had rubbed off on John.

So, it came a surprise to absolutely nobody, when John brought two tiny half ghosts to the next Justice league dark meeting and introduced them as his wards. The two could be seen flying around cities with Shazam and practicing magic with Raven. And John was also talking with Boston about Ghost culture.

But then Batman showed up on the house of mysteries doorstep and wanting to talk about Danny being his biological child.

Well, one thing was for sure..

Batman was not making the kid leave if he didn't want to, and if John had to fight the richest man on earth in a custody battle, then so be it.

He might have to cash in a few favors though.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #is it okay to plot your co-workers death? #probably not #but John and Billy are seriously considering it #Raven too #those are her half dead very traumatized adopted siblings #Batman can't have them

[nerdpoe]

When Danny decides to reincarnate, centuries after his adventures, he chooses a random Dimension of Heroes and Villains.

He's expecting adventure! Heroics! A life worth bragging about in the Afterlife!

He wakes up in a tube, staring down at surprised teen heroes as they release him and another person.

Later, he finds out that he's a clone of Batman and Superman, and the other clone is of Superman and Lex Luthor.

He came into this world expecting adventures, not a weird custody battle about him and his brother (because that's what Conner is) between two A-List superheroes.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #story prompt #dc x dp #phanfic #superman wants nothing to do with both of them #batman wins custody no problem #bruce now give clark a deathglare if the super even mentions one of the boys #constant sniping between superman and batman #until it eventually degrades their relationship so much they can't work together #culminates in one big verbal fight after another attempted planetary invasion #that ends with batman just losing it and #in a very calm voice that's totally out of place from his earlier growling #“if i'd known my best friend was the type of man who would target a child for the sins of their parents i might have chosen to be alone.” #verbally slaps clark #and that's how clark agrees to go to therapy

[renecdote]

do you think Bruce ever lies awake at night thinking about all the things he has taught his kids and how it seemed like a good idea at the time but maybe some of those habits are actually more bad than good

#Dick Grayson #Bruce Wayne #Batman #DC #how many times has alfred told bruce to step back from a case? #to sleep? to eat? to take one moment away from an obsession so it doesn't drag him fully down? #and yeah the thing dick can't leave alone here is looking out for bruce #but it's also the case. the cape. the need to Fix things #dick is all but saying 'I love you' here #but I'm sure bruce is just hearing the echoes of his own obsession in the kids he raised into vigilantism #and I bet it haunts him that he has made them even a little bit like himself #having many feelings about them......

[nelkcats]

Amity Parkers in Gotham

Casper High students graduated. As much as they loved their town (which now included ghosts as recurring residents) they knew they had to go. Not because Phantom didn't do a good job, or that ghosts attacked daily (on the contrary, after Phantom's intervention the destruction became concentrated in the Infinite Realms), but they had to go to a university. That's why most of them applied to Gotham University, it seemed right.

Sure, Gotham wasn't as cool as Amity, nor did it include dimension travel to the Realm of the Dead (Amity Parkers had access to the Infinite Realms as long as they abided by Walker's rules), but they had a great scholarship program, and the city was so chaotic because of its heroes and villains that it felt...like home.

The problem was that no one taught Casper's ex-students some basics: Feeling afraid, avoiding your attackers, not attacking back. Things that seemed like common sense did not go through their heads. After years of dealing with ghost attacks they had gotten used to it, and knew how to counterattack.

So, after their arrival they were knocking out rogues, stopping robbery, and looking bored at the prospect of dying. That made Batman suspicious of a secret society of young soldiers, although it didn't really make much sense, was someone training teenagers? The batfamily was worried at the prospect.

At some point, there was even an "undead" attack in what was called the Justice League; Of course, the Amity Parkers were the first to establish a secure site and prevent the invasion from advancing. At the end everything seemed lost and the undead epidemic was about to spread out of Gotham, but Dash snorted and said that he would "contact a friend that can help", which raised the suspicions of the League.

Danny, who was taking a year off before starting his university studies, raised an eyebrow at the group he had with his old classmates. He shrugged before transforming into Phantom and going to the place, in a few minutes the invasion was over and Bruce was 90% sure that there was a secret society training a teenage army.

#dpxdc #Amity Parkers are just different #Bruce can't understand them #at the end Danny helped but invisible #he didn't want the attention #of course Martial Manhunter noticed him #dp x dc #dc x dp #Amity Parkers don't know what is normal #they punch rogues #and call it a day #Batman is sure there is a secret society in Amity training an army #he needs to investigate that #at first he tough they were trying to be vigilantes #but they just punched the rogues ans continued with their day like it was normal #Batfamily is worried #Justices League is worried too #undead army is just the worse choice to confront Amity Parkers #they have experience with dead #Poor Bruce #Danny will probably study in Gotham too

[psalmsofpsychosis]

dogs unleashed;

—in continuation of this collaborative meta on the nature of Batman's relationship with pain.

// mitski - cop car // Emily Skaja, Brute // Batman: Europa // Sally Wen Mao, Mad Honey Symposium // Lingua Ignota, Pennsylvania Furnace //

#it always comes back to Europa of course it does— #but also it's about the way Joker's teeth are framed in that panel; the way Batman's look at them #the contrast between their teeth are actually quite a distinct feature– often emphasized in comics #the house dog's teeth are fixed; you wonder if he can even bite #the stray dog's teeth have grown unruly; he can't keep a hold of his hunts as well these days #and you wonder which is which #batjokes #web weaving #web weave #batman #bruce wayne #joker

[spacedace]

Fuck whatever DC is doing with the al Ghul's characterizations and story lines, I've decided that from now on the al Ghul's are gonna be DC's version of the Addams Family instead.

Now I don't mean just give the various al Ghul's the exact personalities of the various Addams and call it a day. That's boring, that erases all the interesting parts of the al Ghuls, that's just using "find & replace" and not actually adding anything. I mean give them the vibes of the Addams Family.

Keep the al Ghul's as the al Ghul's with all their scheming and machinations and world domination attempts but give them all the unhinged energy, the casually insane view of the world, the deranged levels of love and devotion for family. Make them that group where objectively they are batshit insane but also you cannot argue with the fact that they are indisputably the most stable and functional family in the entire universe.

They're creepy, they're kooky, they're mysterious and spooky. Ra's many opulent homes and impenetrable fortresses are a museum and the al Ghul's really are a screa-um whenever people come to see-um (or when they lay waste upon their enemies in a surprise attack that has been planned for months and is just the first domino in a series that will ultimately lead to achieving a far greater goal).

They all love each other and want each other to be happy, they express this primarily with stabbing and murder attempts (its fine, death is a thing that happens to other people).

And forget the League of Assassins being a cult. Just make the whole vast globe spanning organization a collection of cousins/aunts/uncles/dear old friends ect. No one (not even the al Ghuls, if they cared to keep track of such things) is sure who is actually related to them and who just got absorbed into the ever expanding family tree based on their vibes being right.

(Is Sensei Ra's father you ask? Well he's certainly someone's father - probably.

Anyway have you heard about Cousin Cheshire? Despicable poisoner of a young woman, capable of the most horrific things imaginable - yes she is the sweetest dear. Like I was saying though, she just had a baby!

Everyone in the family is just so excited to throw a baby shower to celebrate! Ubu has really gone all out with the spike traps, he does so love getting to welcome a new addition to the family.

Talia of course has cultivated a brand new strain of the most toxic plants imaginable to make a brand new kind of necrotizing poison. You know, as a nice little romantic gift for Cousin Cheshire and that young man of hers. It really is so important to make sure you take time for you and your partner to go on dates and have a few pitched battles to the death on dark rooftops in the pounding rain when you have children.

Now there is some to-do about it all of course, you know how family get together can be. Everyone is arguing over who should get to give little Lian her first weapon and what it should be. Nyssa is pushing for grenades but Ra's is insisting on a sword - he's traditional like that you know - but Dusan has the vote so far on throwing knives. You know the kind that have the little divots along the edges of the blades them to make it easier to get the poison you dip them in to stick.)

I'm just saying that the al Ghuls should be a delightful cross between the Bond Villains they were originally conceived as and the lovingly unhinged Addams Family. It just feels correct in my heart.

(Again keep the interesting aspects of the characters and the nuances of who each of them are like their drive to save the world through destroying humanity and their strong environmentalist leanings and their constantly playing 5D chess and everything, but like, take away the racism and the cartoonishly evil for no reason bullshit and give them some fun feral energy to go along with it).

#batman #ra's al ghul #al ghul family #talia al ghul #nyssa raatko #cheshire dc #sensei dc #no more racism and fucked up dark family dynamics #the al ghuls aggressively adore each other #violence and schemes is their love language #in the full au version of all of this i'd like to imagine how canon plot points change with the al ghuls having these vibes #Just imagine Damian still trying to kill Tim when he first ends up in Bruce's care #but instead of it being a ploy to get rid of a threat its because he's just so excited to meet one of his big brothers #and attempted murder is just how you tell someone in your family that you love them #Tim just SO CONFUSED because Damian is talking so animatedly about how happy he is to get to have some brotherly bonding with Tim #while ACTIVELY trying to run him through with a sword #idk how things change with Cass exactly but i feel like they would in this #like either David Cain isn't an absolute monster or the al ghuls catch wind of what he's doing & are like #This is NOT how al ghuls treat family! what is this shameful behavior! She can't even insult you while you fight! #fighting and violence is a perfectly healthy way to express your love but only if there's actually LOVE involved! #The Heretic & other Damian clones still get made but only because Talia just misses her son so much that she makes more of him #Nyssa has just been bopping around the world for a few centuries & pops up every now and then to have a death match with her baby sister #i just have a lot of strong feelings about the al ghuls deserving better and combined that with the vibes of my favorite unhinged family #Dick still hates Talia but Talia takes all his insults as her darling step son telling her how much he loves her #which only drives Dick even crazier #Tim rocks up to the League of Assassins during his whole trying to prove Bruce is alive thing already seen as an al ghul #Oh yeah that's Cousin Timothy he's one of Talia's kids - never met a truer al ghul in your life #You see how he blew up all those bases? Ra's cried he was so proud #Ra's spoils his grandkids absolutely rotten which is giving Bruce SO MANY gray hairs

[phoenixcatch7]

The Wayne doll house

Have some haunted doll au, since it's been bubbling away in my mind.

The bat cave is large and sprawling, many layers and tunnels and hollowed out cracks in the walls. It takes many years to fully reinforce to prevent stray kids from tripping into stagnant waters or fall down crags as he once did. The doll cave, as it becomes known, is in one of the deepest, darkest corners, one where the lights of the furnished caverns above don't reach.

It's one late night sitting at the computer when it suddenly occurs to Bruce that his first encounter with a doll was at the well entrance, many levels above.

There was nothing there when he went back.

-

The justice league stared at the subaru. The subaru, having no eyes, did not stare back.

The seven of them had just finished a very long, arduous mission, and narrowly escaped government censure after the base they'd been raiding had turned out to belong to some corrupt official. With the alert up, they couldn't escape through city airspace, or even in their hero suits.

So civilian it was.

Batman had hotwired some bloke's car while the rest of them ducked into alleys and shop bathrooms, but the problem remained. There was seven of them. And five seats.

"I can shift into something more suitable for being carried," suggested j'onn, "but I believe one of us might have to hide."

"Foot well?" Hal tried, and everyone looked around at the tall, bulky, broad heroes.

"Think they'd have to go in the boot," Barry finally said. Everyone immediately turned to him. "No."

Batman spoke up before the discussion could devolve.

"I think.... I would be best for that."

The team stared.

"Batsy?"

Having no lungs meant he could not drag in the tired sigh he wished, but whatever force allowed this body to talk was capable of approximating something suitably resigned.

"As I am, I am... incapable of fully passing as human. It would be best if I remained out of sight."

"So just? Go change? I swear we won't be weird about whoever you are under the mask. Even if you're like, bald."

"Thank you, Wally, but I'm afraid I'm being serious." Reaching for the mask in broad daylight was unpleasant, but the glue and wires held as he gave it a few thorough tugs. "It doesn't detach."

Everyone stared. Clark reached out as if he wanted to check, but withdrew.

"Do you even have a civilian identity??" Oliver eventually asked. "Because at this point I'm genuinely not sure."

Wayne Enterprises and Queen Industries had a meeting that same evening. "Hn."

"Can we go back to the 'incapable of passing as human' part?!"

"We can discuss it in the car," he snapped, stalking past Barry and popping the boot. "In case you haven't forgotten, we're on a time limit."

For once, that seemed to encourage them, and batman, with great dignity, folded his joints and cape into the small space, ignoring Hal's mutter of 'what kind of contortionist -' as he slammed the lid. With a little shuffling he managed to activate his comms.

"I will inform the watchtower of our delay."

"Batman, they're tapping all outgoing signals, you can't -"

"It won't trigger," he interrupted, before he twisted his consciousness and sent it spiralling across the country.

Bruce awoke with a groan, stretching his limbs and taking a moment to marinate in his annoyance before he reached for the comm and voice modulator on the beside table.

"Batman to watchtower, we've encountered delays. If the Texan state government calls we haven't entered the state in six weeks. Batman out."

-

"Alien?"

"No."

"Reanimated corpse?"

"No."

"Uh... Demon?"

"Hm. No."

"You're not just a meta human, are you?"

"No."

"Vampire?"

"No."

"Robot??"

"No."

"Batsy, please, someone's got to win the bet eventually. How do we even know you're not lying?!"

"You don't," Batman said, not looking up from his paperwork and Flash groaned, letting his sticky notes fall to the floor as he buried his head in his arms.

"One day," he bemoaned to the keyboard, "one day we'll figure it out."

"Until then please keep your eyes on the monitors."

Flash groaned again.

-

Robin ducked under superman's arm as he scuttled down the corridor, laden with the night's haul of snacks. The real problem wasn't getting them - stopping league members from raiding the kitchen would be extremely counterproductive - but keeping them until he could return home to his human body to eat them. Batman had started searching him each time they left and it was really cutting into his daily sugar intake. Unfair! Just because he didn't actually use energy to stay up my night to fight crime, it felt like he did!!

'Oh, you're broken, Robin, oh, don't go out until the glue has fully set, Robin' his arm was fine! It wasn't like there was much crime to be fought on the watchtower anyway! At least not physically.

So he was pretty pleased with himself until he went to set the snacks down and found that the tar like glue they used had soaked through the sleeve and gotten all over his chocolates.

With his other hand, he tried to pry them off, wincing as the wrappers tore and stuck. He tried to shake it, ignoring the way his elbow rattled in the joint.

"Come on, come on - aw, cheezits."

The arm fell off. Robin stared despondently at the limb, surrounded by torn wrappers and dripping black glue where it connected to the elbow. The sour stink of formaldehyde filled the air.

He was going to be in such trouble with Bruce.

The click of the door jerked his head up.

Flash stood in the doorway, wide eyed. Robin stared back.

Flash screamed.

Oh yeah @dehydratedmockingbird have a thing

#batman #Possessed doll au #bruce wayne #justice league #cryptid batman #Cryptid batfam #Didn't fit in there but I wanted to include that every bat member has a mask that covers their mouth #They've all got nutcracker jaws #I don't know the technical name but you know the ones where only a block moves for the mouth and the cheeks don't? #Super creepy on a life size thing I'd imagine #So if their mouth guard or mask gets ruined guess who's having nightmares that night! #Normally cryptid batfam go to great lengths to Look Inhuman and these guys still do it's just easier to not get joints jammed if you cover #Them up. Doesn't mean they haven't pavloved the whole criminal underground into terror at the sound of wooden clacking #They can turn ALL their joints 360 and it terrifies the average goon when you try to sneak behind a bat and it just swivels around to lock #With you. They grapple by shooting their hands out (so they can't lose their grapples) and it doesn't look nice. Yes they use it to #High five from across rooftops or grab things. Punch people in the face from the rafters. (pie the joker) #Their outfits look painted on (they mostly are). Ears swivel. They each have gliding wings installed in their backs after a scare with ivy #Clark was too polite to ask about the rattling and hissing noises he made until one day he was scouting with xray vision glanced over #And nearly screamed XD #long post #long tags

[puppetmaster13u]

I cannot stop thinking about @phoenixcatch7 's lovely Au. And I can't help but to think about like, the Justice League meeting Robin for the first time. Giant puppet boi and his tiniest lil baby boi ever who was hidden... somewhere, they aren't sure where the kid came from.

#The cloak blocks it but Dick is holding onto Bruce's finger #Possessed doll au #batman au #dick grayson #robin #batman #Bruce is definitely not nervous about introducing Robin and there's no proof that he may have been so #Lil baby is excited to swindle more snacks from more people #Especially since Alfred said no more sugar- for both him *and* Bruce #Half of the league don't want to think about the fact that their terrifying member apparently has offspring #Might be how the conversation starts that he admits he can't have kids like people lol #Gosh I should draw them meeting Alfred at some point lol

[disniq]

The thing is, I actually think it's a super interesting angle to look at the intersection of trauma and mental illness and vigilantism and coping mechanisms with Jason's character.

But, for me, if you want to seriously ask at what point does Jason need therapy more than he needs the vigilante lifestyle it's not Red Hood Jason you should be looking at. Red Hood Jason was literally murdered and the mysteriously resurrected. That's not something you can therapy your way out of! That's something that no amount of talking will ever help you understand, because it's a completely incomprehensible event!

No, if anyone needs therapy it's 12 year old Jason.

It's 12 year old Jason, who has poverty trauma and homelessness trauma and prison system trauma and parentification trauma and drug related trauma and, depending on your reading, potentially sexual trauma.

It's 12 year old Jason, who is taken in by Bruce - a man who is *also* severely traumatised (in extremely different ways) and chooses to dress up as a Bat and punch people about it instead of seeking healthy coping strategies.

It's 12 year old Jason, who Bruce decides - without psychiatric training or so much as a second opinion - needs the same outlet that "helped" Bruce and "helped" Dick.

And by the time aditf rolls around, Bruce is maybe just realising that he's made a mistake. But it's too late, because for two years he's told this child - a child who arguably feels indebted to him, a child who is extremely isolated and had very few if any other trusted adults to talk to - that violence and avoidance is how you deal with emotions.

I think that's fascinating to think about!

That Bruce's own failure to process his trauma left him blind to what Jason might actually have benefited from! That if Bruce had noticed Jason struggling earlier, if he'd reacted differently or explained himself better in aditf, Jason might not have felt the need to travel around the world alone looking for a woman he'd never met and only just learned about!

That if *Bruce* had been healthier, had been to therapy instead of throwing all his energy into vigilantism, none of this might have happened!

Reframe Red Hood Jason as a tragedy of Bruce's own making, not because of the classist bullshit that Jason was always going to end up a criminal and Bruce failed to stop that, but because Bruce's terrible coping mechanisms became *Jason's* terrible coping mechanisms and nobody likes to see the worst parts of themselves in the mirror.

#jason todd #bruce wayne #they're mirrors! you can't say jason should get therapy and quit vigilantism and nit say the same about bruce! #like i fully understand that the comics can't take this angle because that would mean accepting that batman makes mistakes #that he's not always right and correct and fucking infallible #but this idea is so prevalent in fandom and i just. c'mon guys. don't do DCs victim blaming for them #if you're going to say Jason's lifestyle choices are self harming you have to acknowledge where he learned them #my meta

[strawberry-birthday]

I personally don't think batman should show up in My Adventures with Superman for at least a season or two but if he does show up i hope they commit to how well batman and superman mirror each other.

Clark is the real person and Superman is a put on persona

V.S.

Bruce wayne is the persona and he is himself as batman

You know it's funny, when batman and superman are both characterized well you end up with a pair that seems to be the same personality wise but are each faking the opposite personality to each other. superman and batman are often both more serious heros but clark is putting up a front where bruce isn't, that's what he's really like and clark is a sweet charming farm boy through and through while bruce is putting on a mask for the camera. i think it makes how close of friends they are very sweet since they both can be inspired by the other, learn things and know what the true personality is for each other.

I think the fact that batman and superman mirror each other is where a lot of people can start to misunderstand Clark's character cause instead of mirroring, they see it as copying and once you apply batman logic to superman you start ending up with a far different character.

#my adventures with superman #superman #batman #writing #i have a lot of thoughts #i can't just keep ranting at my family about my DC opinions #clark kent #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #i love them #i love them so much

[sisaloofafump]

Stephanie and Jason in makeshift disguises (they forgot their masks) (still remembered their guns tho) (and their matching hoodie vests)

Bonus:

#glowing eyes because I believe in that post about Gotham giving them slightly cryptid features #I love adding blood to drawings lol I found an amazing way of blending it with this eyebrow hair brush? so fun #Jason running to their investigation destination: fuck I forgot my mask #Stephanie: how could you Forget your mask? what kind of rookie mistake is - oh wait I forgot mine too #both (nodding): no one can ever know #Jason looking at a wonderwoman costume: why can't she wear a mask? the things I would give to have a Wonder Woman mask rn #jason todd #stephanie brown #batfam #batgirl #red hood #batfamily #Batman #my art #dc comics

[nerdpoe]

Bruce is bad at cooking. No, like. You don't understand-

Alfred is not the only one who has banned him from the kitchen.

Bruce will watch a troll TikTok of someone deep-frying frozen spaghetti and do it for real.

Vicki Vale is clearly looking for proof that Bruce Wayne is not a dumbass, and the only way to shake her is...

To invite her over for an interview, without Bruce knowing, and let Bruce try to make them both lunch.

Examples of things he would actually try; Countertop Spaghetti, whatever the fresh hell is going on in this complication.

#she is forever convinced the man is a dumbass #clark is telescoped in and listening and silently crying laughing #Ma and Pa keep asking why he's having a fit #but he can't tell them how Bruce is desecrating that kitchen #batman au #story prompt #damian loses all respect for his father after seeing him try to cook

[kettlefire]

I keep randomly think about this:

Imagine Batman revealing his identity to the league. He does it extremely nonchalant, the leaguers briefly wonder if he just forgot they were there for a moment.

Everyone takes the news relatively normal, and it's not that big of a deal. All just happy that Batman has officially trusted them 100%. No one really calls him Bruce though, especially not when he's in costume.

Thing is, they are constantly forgetting.

Not in the sense that Bruce Wayne is Batman. But that Batman is Bruce Wayne.

Every time Bruce unmasks in the safety of their shared space, they just get reminded of the fact.

The fact that Batman is so pretty.

The hero that strikes fear in the hearts of many criminals. The vigilante that has gone up against extreme foes. A man with no special powers aside from his mind. The world's greatest detective is a pretty playboy.

And sometimes, just sometimes, some of the heroes hit a buffering stage when Bruce does it in the middle of a conversation.

Maybe, just maybe, Bruce realizes it. Might just use it to his advantage while the effect is still there.

#dc batman #dcu #dcau #batman #justice league #superman #the flash #green lantern #clark kent #barry allen #hal jordon #bruce wayne #JL shenanigans #The leaguers just have a hard time connecting the man that scares them with the man that just got caught accidently stealing someones car #Bruce Wayne- airhead playboy billionaire #Batman- terrifying maybe not human #Their brains just can't connect the two #pretty boy brucie

[mikakuna]

the song "i love you so" by the walters but with jason and bruce

bruce, who can't let go of his little boy and refuses to believe his child would ever become a murderer: i love you so

jason, who can't stand the way his dad keeps letting him down and hurting him and clinging onto a version of him that doesn't exist anymore: please let me go

jason, who keeps coming back to bruce no matter how much he hurts him because he thinks his dad is still in there: i love you so

bruce, who knows he isn't the father anymore that jason remembers and wants back, and can't be: please let me go

#thinking about their relationship causes me real psychological damage #just two battered people wanting back the old versions of each other #they both want something they can't have and it kills them #bruce won't let jason heal and jason #wont stop going back to bruce #:((((( #jason todd #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #dc #jason and bruce #jason todd and bruce wayne

[quillium]

Tim and Damian Sharing Robin

Think of it this way: A cafe only needs one barista at a time, but there are multiple baristas who cover different shifts

Scheduling errors where BOTH of them thought they were gonna be Robin that night and the ensuing fistfight

Scheduling errors where both of them thought the OTHER was gonna be Robin and the panic that ensues. Damian planned a trip to the art museum. Tim planned a date with Bernard. Bruce is like “I don’t NEED a Robin” and they’re both like “YES YOU DO”. Jason ends up being Robin. Everyone assumes Robin simply got hit by a magic spell that made him Buff and Twice His Size

Tim and Dami sometimes getting mixed up for each other. Tim is mortified that he’s short enough that people think he might be the same person as his ten year old brother

People who think there’s just one Robin assuming that Robin just brings his sword out when he feels more murdery and his bo staff when he feels less murdery

Bernard being like “I have a conspiracy theory where Red Robin sometimes acts as Robin because of the bo staff, different looks, and different character”. Tim is like. Wow my boyfriend is so smart. Time to gaslight him.

Tim and Dami switching Robin shifts without informing Bruce and letting Bruce be absolutely baffled and off-footed when a different son shows up.

Bruce is like “tonight Tim is Robin so we’ll look into [investigation that requires computer skills]”. Dami shows up and Bruce is like uh oh. This is why Bruce has like 50 different contingency plans, because his children just do stuff without telling him and it destroys all his og plans

One time Tim and Dami switch and Bruce doesn’t notice for a solid 10 minutes because he’s so sleep deprived

Core Four invites Tim to a group get-together so he asks Damian to switch shifts with him, Damian demands a bribe, Tim gives Damian a new set of brushes

Damian wants to go see an animated movie with his art club, tries to ask Dick to ask Tim to switch with him, Tim appears very smug and tries to ask for a favour in turn but then Dick being a DICK says that Tim has to be the “older brother” and “if he’d do it anyways he should just do it” and “as the older brother you can’t take advantage of a ten year old”

Tim: I’m supposed to be MATURE and just allow the switch without forcing you to take my weekend shifts-- Damian: HAH Tim: --BUT I’M NOT MATURE SO TAKE THE WEEKEND SHIFTS SO I CAN STAY WITH THE KENTS ON THE LONG WEEKEND.

Tim and Damian forming a union and presenting their terms and conditions to Bruce saying that they’ll strike unless he agrees. Bruce, exhausted, points out that he has literally been trying for over a decade to get Robin to stop existing and that THEY were the ones to force him to accept them as superheroes. He gives into the union’s conditions anyways.

#dc #batfam #Tim Drake #Timothy Drake #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #sharing robin au #tim and damian: you will have no robin unless you have a movie night with us once a week! #bruce who literally fired dick from robin bc he was scared for dick's health and told tim he refused to have another robin and didn't even #appoint damian as robin and literally only has robin bc his reckless children will go whether he approves or NOT and it may as well be #with his support and supervision so that he can try to keep them safe: #i literally would've had movie night with you anyways bc i love you and also yes please stop being robin please stop #tim and damian BOTH being robin allowing each other to explore more of a normal non-cape life + have better overall health #bruce being so pleasantly surprised by his sons going OUT with FRIENDS and CHOOSING to spend nights at home etc #alfred looks at bruce like. so when are YOU getting a coworker batman. b is like. idk what you're talking about??? i'm fine??? #bruce is btw like. in his forties or fifties and his joints are COMPLAINING about all his time as batman #clark shows up one day like 'i can be your coworker batman!!!' and bruce is like #first of all you are already superman. second of all you can't work in gotham. third of all. i refuse. #it's clownery your honour

[violent138]

I haven't seen it anywhere, but I really want to see a fic where the Batkids/batfam pull an all-nighter together planning something? As you can tell, this is heavily vibes over the plot, I'm more interested in them keeping each other awake, dressed half in gear, half in comfy clothes, snapping a little, brainstorming and working together to try to break in somewhere/figure something out/fight some shared enemy.

One of them needs to be injured enough to get to boss the others around/kind of beg for snacks and sustenance, balancing a battered laptop on a leg cast, while the others can be in a various state of disarray, having freshly lost/been bested by their enemy.

#but Idk I really like the idea of this kind of cosy fic even if the batcave is sorely deprived of a fireplace #I will definitely write this the second I'm done with the next hellish two weeks #Alfred would endeavour at least three times into this ticking time bomb of a night to relocate them somewhere better or remind them the #manor doesn't have a library for nothing #but none of them would bother moving #totally intent on figuring this out #I can't decide if I would be more amused by Jason or Damian being hurt #both have maximum doesn't have to be but will be a massive baby about this energy #I'm just slapping on any random tag at this point #batfamily #batman #school is kicking my ass lmao #dc comics #fic ideas #my fic stuff #dc universe