#BUT but i'm still gonna apply

[sweetbitterpdf]

applying for a job that just might be the biggest leap of faith yet.... screaming crying etc.

#like i am technically qualified for it and i have some good experience but it's in the public library system #which is notorious for SAYING that they hire external applicants #then hiring like 95% internally #but this would mean i would make a living wage and then some could u imagine #i would make my rent in LESS THAN A WEEK #which has never been a thing before #and it seems like it would be really cool :((( i would love to get it #but chances are not good #BUT but i'm still gonna apply

[exit-pursued-by-a-squid]

Ok I haven't seen a post about this yet so I'm breaking my no-original post streak to say:

Can we pretty please talk about the exchange between Cleo and Etho in the most recent secret life session where Cleo is saying that, right below teammates, Scott is someone that she'd never kill unless it came down to Scott vs. Cleo's team. And Etho just goes:

"Oh, so he's your Bdubs, basically."

And Cleo responds, "Yes, he's my Bdubs."

WHAT IF I WENT INSANE

WHAT THEN

Anyway the bonds between the players in this series that transcend the boundaries of each season and carry over throughout multiple seasons are something that is actually so special to me.

#secret life #life series #etho #bdubs #ethoslab #zombie cleo #zombiecleo #scott smajor #bdoubleo100 #this also applies to other teammates/duos #like how skizz and tango always end up together #their friendship simply cannot be beat #or the increasingly strange and convoluted but (for better or worse) unbreakable bond between grian and scar #or just the whole shenanigans of cleo and etho being divorced last season but roommates this season #and bdubs and scar are still kind of their sons and there's still a little bit of that family dynamic thing going on #also shoutout to cleo for shouting “I'm gonna get married to etho!” on the EP 1 of the season DIRECTLY AFTER they played a divorced couple #or scott and pearl's rocky but healing relationship from last life to double life to secret life #boat boys. no explanation needed #anyway #thinkin about them

[journey-to-the-attic]

happy birthday to the three realms' most specialest girl!!! (i promise i love you even though i put you through so much)

#(that's alatus with her by the way!! little guy) #art #obey me #as you can see i figured out one (1) cool-looking thing in that satan piece and am refusing to let it go #in my defence. i'm so bad at backgrounds #so once i've found one that looks good (i.e. big moon) i'm just gonna do it again #same applies for the whole shading process (i have once again employed my ultimate move: pale yellow on an overlay layer at 30% opacity) #i was gonna add the rest of the newspaper club too but i still haven't designed demon forms for them and i wanted them to fit the theme #(mephisto doesn't count since in present he never takes demon form anymore anyway. also it's mephisto) #(shhh you can't see him) #alright here come the character tags #jtta ik #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon

[cerise-on-top]

Nikolai with a s/o who always has a hand on his chest? With consent ofc, and it’s always to feel his heartbeat. I think of this all the time and it’s always super cute in my head.

Hello! That is pretty cute!

Nikolai Always with Reader’s Hand on His Chest

Nikolai is a pretty laid back and chill sort of man, so he usually doesn’t mind you putting your hand over his heart. Maybe not while you’re walking, though, he doesn’t want you to trip. It’s very sweet to him: You wanna make sure that he’s alive? That he’s still with you? That his heart is still beating? Trust me, not even death could take him away from you. He’d dig his way out of his grave after killing the reaper with his bare hands himself. You can always put your hand over his chest while you’re at home together, though. It’s nice to feel you. After a while it would be reassuring to him as well, feeling that you’re there, that you’re with him. He thinks it’s sweet that you always want to be touching him, because if it was up to you he’d do the same thing with you. After some time, once he’s realized that you’re always touching him whenever you can, he tries to get into positions that facilitate you touching him a bit. Usually lies on his back when you’re cuddling so you have full access to him. Can and will fall asleep like that, but will also want to hold you back. Will also put his hand over your heart as well so he can “get back at you”. In reality, feeling your heartbeat is also just nice and reassuring to him. However, he sometimes might lie on your chest in order to hear it as well, something like it lulls him to sleep, after all. You can put your hand over his chest in public as well, though, he doesn’t particularly mind cuddling in public either. There’s a good chance you’ll be nicely clothed, though, so you won’t feel his heartbeat unless you slip your hand under his clothes. You can do that, he doesn’t care about strangers staring in public. However, once it’s time to continue walking around, release him. You can continue your antics once you’ve found another nice bench to sit on.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #tomorrow is finally friday for me right now. I am so tired. but tomorrow I'm gonna take a long long nap #I have the next two weeks off but I can't promise that I'll be able to post too much during that time for driver's license reasons #I'll try but I have a lot of errands to run then #besides it's not like I get too many requests in per day luckily. at one point I got 4 requests in one night #now I get one. maybe two at most per day. which is good. it's relaxing and doesn't stress me out too much either #at one point I had eight requests sitting in my inbox despite working on them ever day. that was really stressful #but these days I'm more willing to close my inbox. people usually don't mind the waiting too much anyway #I do work as fast as I can though but I'm gonna stick with posting one request per day. that's a much better pace for me #haven't written for Nikolai in a while though. I'm glad people still like me writing characters other than the girls as well #but it seems as though for now I've become a cod girls centric blog haha #I don't mind. I'm just glad that people like my writing enough to want to request it. I'll write for just about anyone of the main charas #two exceptions apply but I refuse to write for them. i just genuinely don't like them #but I like Nikolai. he's good he's nice. he seems like someone who'd be great at giving bear hugs

[purplecyborgnewt]

#The Flash #Barry Allen #Eobard Thawne #eonash #(technically 'eowells' tag would still apply but i'm gonna go with 'eonash' for this edition anyway) #eobarry #other people's text posts #fanart was attempted #the... great(-ish) occasional gifening project? #the great(ish) gifening project

[starbuck]

#black sails #madi bs #john silver #silvermadi #(i mean. sort of.) #we love seeing relationships fall apart am i right? #we love characters fundamentally misunderstanding each other to their mutual detriment #(we actually don't because it's very sad) #i had decided not to post this because the song overall doesn't necessarily fit their relationship #but 1) i'm allowed to take things out of context (it's sexy. actually) #and 2) there's an argument to be made that it COULD apply to TI-era silvermadi if we imagine that (oof) they stayed together #anyways - i'm still very fond of this edit - i think it's really good which is why i'm sharing it! #i'm not actually 'back' - was just gonna post my fic later anyway - so i figured why not give y'all this too! #be back in an hour or so with the fic!

[kozidraws]

.

#gonna ramble about irl here so people don't have to read it unless they want to #so because I got covid and couldn’t leave my bed I've essentially lost my job #I've told my manager I'm okay to go back to work #even if my body is still sore #but she's only given me a 3 hour shift a week #and you guessed it! #it's the late shift #the one where it takes me almost 2 hours to get home from #she's being so petty with me #and I am so behind in rent #I've applied for government assistance and I have a meeting with them tomorrow #I really hope they can help because I feel awful #I'm also annoyed at myself because I can't find my knee brace ANYWHERE #I thought I could find one for around $10 but nope! #the closest stores selling them are like $25+ so that's fun #I don't know when I'll be able to draw again #I'm so stressed again about money and secueing work #hopefully once I can get govt assistance at least I can enjoy life again #also I tried to ask the zine that still owes me money if they could finally send payment but they still keep delaying it with excuses #I'm so desperate it's shameful

[downtofragglerock]

Ok this Makuta profile is going to be a bit different than the past ones, there's only one today, but for good reason

I didn't just want to fill up the Brotherhood's ranks with random oc ideas, so I searched around for some tertiary stuff that I could incorporate. There wasn't that much that was workable, but I found a few things. Obviously one of the places I looked was g2, because if Transformers can take characters invented in later incarnations and reincorporate them back into their g1, why can't Bionicle do the same?

Unfortunately Bionicle g2's storytelling and short lifespan means there's not much to work with, but I made do, and now let's look at the story of Makuta Kulta.

Kulta was for certain one of the more middling members of the Brotherhood, certainly not at the bottom of the barrel like Spiriah, but there was no chance he'd ever be in Miserix or later Teridax's personal circle. Kulta knew this fact and absolutely hated it, and thusly sought ways to greatly increase his own power. Eventually, he seemed to have found it.

Okoto was a rather remote island in the Matoran Universe, mountainous with a healthy diversity of biomes and a steady population of Matoran. Okoto did have one particularly interesting feature, either due to some technical glitch in the GSR's mechanics or deliberately designed so by the Great Beings in service of some esoteric experiment, the island was supercharged with elemental energy, from the landscape, to the rahi, and even the inhabitants. It was this feature that caught Kulta's eye when he learned of it. An island positively overflowing with energy? Well he just had to see that.

Since the island was quite remote, Kulta was able to set up shop and begun looking into this phenomenon without much fuss. The results spoke for themselves and Kulta became far stronger than he'd been before. He then began to crave even more power and came up with various ways to try and achieve it. This included using his Tryna in conjunction with this energy boost to create an army of undead warriors, hiring out the Dark Hunter Umarak to hunt and capture some of the island's more elementally-supercharged rahi so he could study them and apply their particular manners of power absorption to himself, and even coming up with the concept of a "Mask of Ultimate Power", a Kanohi that could wield multiple elemental powers at once. Kulta, however, was not a skilled mask maker, and had to forcefully conscript the Okoto Matoran Ekimu, a skilled mask maker and unbeknownst to all and even themselves an Av-Matoran that the OOMN had mind wiped and spirited away, to make it.

Worried that some Matoran might get away and tell the greater universe about what he was doing, Kulta created dangerous rahi to terrorize the population and keep them from leaving. He wasn't very good at naming them though, content with just calling them skull spiders and "beasts". The Matoran got fed up with this and, unable to call upon Toa to help them, sent their strongest and most skilled to try and stop Kulta. Narmoto, Korgot, Vizuna, Nilkuu, Kivoda, and Izotor accepted the task and went underway. While on their journey though, they came across a fissure of elemental energy that struck and supercharged them, transforming the Matoran protectors into a Toa team, the Toa Okoto.

The Toa Okoto fought off the skull spiders and their "lord", tussled with the Umarak and freed his captives, came to blows with the elemental beasts, and destroyed Kulta's undead army, allowing those restless souls to finally sleep. However, when they finally made it to Kulta's inner sanctum, they were too late. The Mask of Ultimate Power had been finished and Kulta had put it on, granting him even greater power and transforming his body into a massive titanic form. Joined by Ekimu, the Toa engaged in a fierce battle with Kulta, who beat them down with ease. Just when it looked like all hope was lost however, Kulta seized up. As it turns out, a mask with that many different elemental energies running through it isn't exactly stable. The mask shattered, and the resulting energy blast knocked the Toa and Ekimu back, and caused Kulta to explode, setting his Antidermis on fire and killing him. The Toa were victorious, Umarak fled back to the Shadowed One, and any straggling threats were defeated, ushering Okoto into a new golden age.

When word eventually got out of what happened on Okoto, the Brotherhood, as this was long before their deception was known to the larger universe, denied all knowledge of what Kulta had done and disavowed him, claiming the Makuta had been a renegade. The lie was quite easy to sell, as it was partly true, Kulta had kept all of his going ons a secret to the rest of the Brotherhood. In private, Teridax was quite glad Kulta had gotten himself killed, as when he thought over things like a vast undead army and a "Mask of Ultimate Power", only one word came to mind: Treason

#bionicle #I'm gonna tag this as #Makuta ocs #even though it technically doesn't apply in this case #but it is still part of that series of posts #yeah this is long #I figured most of this out while taking a shower that's why it rambles

[yourlocalseanameduser]

Watching the same (mostly white) people who pat themselves in the back for risking their jobs, credibility, and name in general, for standing up for queer rights, feminism, poc rights, and also preach on hating the government and then turn around and support the colonist settlers bombing innocent lives for some of the most ridiculous reason ever makes me want to give these people a reality check on how they're not the saviors they make themselves look

#queer poc #queer #people of color #asexual #aromantic #aroace #lgbtqia #i'm mostly talking about palestine #but still #this applies to practically everything in the world #you cannot preach to hate the government #and then throw that word away and say you fully support the displacement #and murders of innocent palestinians #'but palestine don't support queer people' okay? #what does that justify? #what next? #are you gonna turn the world into a nuclear waste because you're gonna bomb all the other countries who don't support gay rights? #are you gonna type that while you have your tickets to travel to Indonesia? #or Malaysia? #are you gonna say that every single country that doesn't support queer rights deserve to be bombed? #go fuck yourself

[trans-cuchulainn]

i need to get myself out of the mindset that money spent on books doesn't count if the books are in irish

that's not how it works

#also if i keep ordering books from an siopa leabhar i will have no excuse to 'stock up' on books when i'm in the gaeltacht this summer #which. i mean. is probably a good thing bc i bought so many last year #but also. i don't magically have more shelf space just bc they're not in english #i'm gonna have to move them to another shelf soon #personal #it's just hard bc i don't have access to books as gaeilge from libraries nor are many of them available as ebooks #so my usual methods of avoiding buying books do not apply #i wish my irish library card hadn't expired :( then maybe i could've borrowed ebooks through their system? #still needs the books to exist in e-format tho #which a lot of them do not

[emiliosandozsequence]

me infuriating robyn by pointing out all the scientific inaccuracies in pirates of the caribbean

#look i realize it's a fantasy movie where the normal laws of physics don't apply but i'm still gonna do it #it's the autism #emilio.txt

[agentmmayy]

march + april rotation

it’s gonna be...... may finally posting the march + april rotation playlist. combining these two months since most of the music i listened to in march was off the previous rotation list!

flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding 

back for more - nia hendricks: the usual type of slow groove beat i adore that makes me want to dance around with the love of my life. it’s just as sweet as the previous one but it feels... lonely. mournful. i’d be dancing but with a ghost

bodybag - charlotte lawrence: this song is so *clenches fist* i am obsessed with how the body bag fills in for the other person in the relationship and holds her when they can’t or refuse to! the relationship is already dead! she’s holding on! in that liminal space between resurrection and burial! also the vocals in this are insane. my favorite part is ‘she’s at the bowery bar, showed you her paper heart’ and then ‘help me hurt and then i’ll come back’ YEOW

gasp of air - lisa curtis: THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO SING AND SCREAM ALONG AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!!!! and then the lyrics slapped me across the face. ‘but i’ll stay and such ‘cause i think it’s love enough’ ‘i’m yours enough that i come back’ ‘some water if i’m lucky but i would never ask that much’ ‘what kind of person needs to breathe A HEALTHY ONE I’M SURE BUT THAT’S NOT ME’?????????? 

nothing left to give - BAILEN: ‘i wanna live i’m sick of just trying to survive’ *looks into the camera* anyway. obsessed with this band and how weird this song sounds 

kilimanjaro - dolores forever: this song and the next have me asking how songs can be this good. like. is it crack? is that what they put in these?? the music and the vocals are EVERYTHING it’s unlike anything i’ve heard recently and i’m digging it. then the harmonies?? and the lyrics???? ‘a thousand shards of glass from your silver tongue got me like a shot gun’ the way ‘i was young. you were pure ice and snow’ IS SUNG?????? WTF

labour - paris paloma: this has been my hype song for the past few weeks. the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 

bad blood - trousdale: another banger for the books!! trousdale always delivers these perfect harmonies and this time it’s a fantastic, bitter song but that’s not the only element! there’s indifference and confusion and acceptance! there’s healing! and the repetition of anyway *patcha holding earbuds meme* perfection

all the love - katie gregson-macleod: katie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions!!!!!!!! this one is SO SAD. i ache each time i listen to it. it doesn’t apply to romantic love but all other types of love and what happens when you lose it and how you deal with that loss. the grief is so thick it’s almost suffocating but as always the way she sings is enough for it to not be overwhelming. every lyric hits but the combination of her voice with ‘but i’d rather do that in bed alone’ is my favorite  

BONUS: here are a few stray songs that didn’t quite fit in the narrative but i wanted to share them anyway :)

far and wide - WILDES: doesn’t quite fit the narrative, but it’s a good follow up to all the love. it’s toned down more and easier to get lost in, but still woven with the running strand of grief that makes it sorrowful. once again, back at it with the yearning 

ava - famy: this song had me by the throat the first time i heard it in teen wolf and it still does. chewing glass over the switch between ‘this world is primal’ + ‘this world is rabid’ to ‘this world is pure’ + ‘this world is learning’  and ‘my conscious burning, my beastly flaw’ 

#labour is the song i've resisted sending you this entire month bestie lmao #you're gonna flip #monthly music rotation #monthly music roundup #the amount of time i spent organizing these songs....... #they have to flow into the other they have to tell a STORY #the story of me going THRU it <3 #jk half of these don't apply to me but they're still bangers #labour high key reminds me of radio silence too #so #radio silence :hand shaking emoji: labour :hand shaking emoji: king by florence and the machine #i'm connecting the dots

[blasphemyisjustforyou]

God I hate it here.

#I cant afford my car payment and I've got today and tomorrow to come up with the money #it's $200 in 2 days and the place I was doing work for hasn't paid me anything #not that it really matters since they're only gonna pay me like $30 for the work I've done. #Even if I get that money Ill still need to come up with $170 in less than 2 days #the place I applied at won't call me back #and the other place I applied at I've called like 3 times and they keep blowing me off #I'm running out of options and the depression is kicking in #this fucking sucks.

[montanabohemian]

soooooo this afternoon i found out some devastating news about my current financial situation and am basically screwed. if ANYONE can help me out with rent and some recent medical and vehicle emergency bills, i would so greatly appreciate it. (or just sharing this helps i guess i don't know.)

paypal

#mutual aid #mutual aid request #donations #donation request #basically i've been receiving unemployment and was told one thing way back in july *BY UNEMPLOYMENT* #and when i called today because my benefits are almost up they told me THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE #so for six months i was operating on one set of instructions only to find out at the end of those six months that it was bogus so i'm fucke #like super fucked #so absolutely fucked #i know it's the end of the year / new year / holidays and nO ONE is financially able to help but i just need to put it out there #ALSO IF ANYONE HAS ANY LEADS ON ANY FUCKING JOBS #I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE THAT #cuz i've been applying for jobs like crazy and FUCKING NOTHING #happy new year TO ME #(like i knew this new year was gonna suck but WOW COULD IT SUCK EVEN WORSE SINCE IMMA BOUT TO BE HOMELESS WHEEEEEEEEEE) #(i'm literally still so mad after that phone call and gurl was AWFUL and like 'welp nothing i can do you're on your own') #(and i'm sitting there (after being on hold for well over an hour) going YEAH BUT THIS IS *YOUR* SCREW UP. NOT. MINE.) #(anyway i feel like walking into traffic for real cuz what's the point) #(YES I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND SCARED OKAY) #signal boost #aid #signal b00st #happy new year

[disdaidal]

Good news: your girl got a call from her school today, passed all her exams and is getting her high school diploma this spring/summer, so yay.

I’m “only” 34 after all, but what the fuck. I did it.

#personal #none of my grades were too good apart from english #where i scored higher than in my own mother tongue ldkglgklg #but even that was good not excellent #anyway i passed and i'm getting out of there and onto new adventures (and challenges) #might post pictures later when i'm actually graduating heh #i also took another test today. for another school i applied to this spring #it was a remote test and the first test out of many i guess #and my god it was so fucking hard. i took ages to write it and i couldn't even properly finish it in time because i'm such a turtle #when it comes to writing anything kdkfkg #so it's probably littered with mistakes and sounds dumb as hell and i doubt i'm gonna pass it but anyway #at least i got accepted to that one school already if anything #it's just that. it wasn't my first choice so. i'm still trying D: #anyway i'm feeling hyper and shit and i can barely process this all #at least my stress from the last two days got relieved a little bit #because i apparently have to buy new tires and wheels to my car and i can't fucking afford it right now so heh #but anyway life finds a way i guess

[foundationsofdecay]

okay this rejection letter is so funny though, usually they're the automated standard "we've decide to pursue other candidates at this time <3" response but this one was straight-up like "sorry you don't have the qualifications <3" helpppppp

#they're the ones whose application encourages you to apply even if you don't meet all the requirements fdjkhgfkjd #i'm not mad (maybe a little peeved by the above tho) but i'm gonna still say fuck 'em and send in one or two more #job hunt diary