#BUT YEAH i love to travel hope im lucky enough in the future to do it at least a little | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weebsinstash · 1 year

Text

Anyways so I found a werewolf audio book that's so bad I had to share it with you guys which is a shame because the young female narrator actually does a competent job

So our victim today is Back and Better by NighttShadee and, in the beginning, I had high hopes. It sounded like this was a revenge/glow-up story, and the opening was compelling enough. (tw for nonconsensual acts like forced kissing and like forced marking, suicide, bullying, etc)

This is a really long post, I'm mostly just describing the story and cringing and bitching lol. And when I say long like I basically go into the events that happen over 14 chapters lmao 💀 this shit got me MAAAAAD (plus an actually good recommendation at the very end for a story I actually really liked and found surprisingly high quality for the platform c:)

Amira Warner is 15 (already i am super uncomfortable with the protag being this young), being bullied by her pack and schoolmates, including the pack's alpha's son, Erebus (and you always know some bullshit will happen when they have these dumbass names). They all just call her stupid and weak and fat and a slut and just straight up a cunt, didnt expect to get audibly slapped with the c word on a youtube ad trailer but whatever, and her brother is also one of the bullies, but her parents never do anything because they're literally never home because they travel for work or take constant vacations, idk, but Amira also uhhh makes no effort to tell them what's going on. She blames them for not being around to support her which is valid but she also literally quite literally never even tells them anything whatsoever, that she's being bullied OR that her brother is involved

Like literally, she introduces herself narratively as "my name is Amira Warner, im 15, turning 16 tomorrow, im the bitch of the red river pack, I am beaten and verbally abused every single day". And of course Erebus is her main bully and it is specifically said he is the MAIN ONE WHO BEATS HER

So anyways Amira attempts suicide, and while she's bleeding out, she's discovered by three young boys who are her same age, and they basically give her emergency medical care, and adopt her into their pack since one of them is the future alpha of their pack and he can just do that (lucky her). And there's 3 of them, brothers, but only one of them matters: the future Alpha, Damon. So they're gonna adopt her into their pack right, but before that Amira is gonna head home, grab some of her things, leave a note for her parents, and then leave in the morning on her 16th birthday which is also the day she's supposed to awaken as a wolf, but also, she prays to the moon goddess that, if her mate is in this pack, the pack that abused her, thay she won't feel the pull of the mate bond, and can find a second chance mate elsewhere

Moon Goddess said bet IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE but we get to that later and also yeah she meets the moon goddess, just straight up converses with God multiple times, it's kind of stupid and I actually genuinely hate the moon goddess as a character. The moon goddess makes her promise she's never going to hurt herself again but then knowingly gives her a toxic mate?

So anyways it's her birthday and on top of awakening as a wolf, today is also the day she's supposed to find her mate and 🙄 of course it's Erebus. He waltzes straight up to her after smelling her scent, all "mine" but luckily, Moon Goddess is a G and Amira feels nothing from the mate bond. Absolutely nothing. So she tells him to go fuck himself straight to his face while he's bewildered she's not absolutely tripping over him like he feels for her, and she even outright tells him he is one of the biggest reasons she tried to commit suicide the day before. And after years of bullying her and telling her shit like her only purpose is to be weak and abused, suddenly this bitch is crying actual tears, "Amira no, please, no no no I'm so sorry I love you 🥺" like fucking Bakugo over here giving less than shit when it's too late like actually kys bro

She literally laughs in his fucking face when he's visibly upset she says she doesn't want to be his mate. Queen. She literally says "that sucks alpha, that is really unfortunate" and drives away from him lmaooooo (also who wrote this, we don't let 15 year olds drive??? Yeah this is technically on her 16th birthday but she wouldn't have a license, maybe a learners permit, and that still requires an adult present)

So she leaves and meets the three boys again and they adopt Amira into their pack but also their family and for the next about two years she's literally raised as their sibling, remember, they're all 15/16, right. So anyways after she's rescued, it turns out, oh boy she's a super extra duper special WHITE WOLF who is super extra strong and pretty and also fucking Aang for some reason? She deadass has elements and weather control and it's written in a very cheesy uh Wattpadesque way and also despite being a victim of bullying she kind of lowkey instantly becomes a bitch upon finding out she's a white wolf, and I don't mean "getting back at those who doubted me" I mean like "since she's one of the strongest wolves it's her job to train other wolves from her new pack and she constantly verbally berates them and calls them ladies and little girls and basically acts like a pick me the second she holds the smallest crumb of authority, talking down to grown men just because she's physically stronger than them" like its very jarring to go from her attempting suicide to, chapter 3 is an 18 month time skip where she's immediately treating other people who don't even really know her in a similarly bully-like way (btw the 18 month time skip meaning she is now 17 1/2 which is important because I think she may actually still be a minor when creepy stuff happens later...)

Anyways, theres been a lot of packs being attacked by rogues which in my opinion are the lucky ones because they're the ones who aren't in packs but it's framed as them being outcasts and criminals but when you consider how dangerously close pack dynamics veer into outright cult behavior like, it makes you rethink things. So Amira is told "since our pack is the biggest and strongest, we're sending people out to help train up the other weaker packs" and just guess where her new adoptive Alpha father is knowingly and intentionally sending her back :) and when she rightfully brings up "hey uh you're literally sending me back to the people who made me try to kill myself not even like 2 years after it happened" and he's just like "I know I'm sorry sweetie it's a real cowabummer :( but ya gotta cause, for the greater good or something, I dunno, do what I say lol, you wont be gone long" and there's a line about how she respects his rank as her alpha enough to obey him even though she doesn't want to do this and I really gotta say, it bothers me how everyone tells her it's valid she's upset but still expects her to go. They even later acknowledge, well, maybe we SHOULD HAVE just sent an Alpha from another pack instead, since this place holds trauma for you, and it's like YEAH SHE'S FUCKING 17, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE

Just. Grr! This girl is SURROUNDED by toxicity and it only gets worse

So Amira and her brothers Damon, Jason, and Derek all go back to her old pack, and it helps since they very close sibling relationship, they all have physical play fights and wrestling that is very sibling-like but it does get kind of cheesy and stupid sometimes. Like chasing her down to tickle her because she ate all the brownies she baked herself without sharing any? Or hiding snacks? And uh of course they find a way to make this gross too, which we cover later

I also wanna point out, as someone relistening as we speak, she emphasizes that being a white wolf means "i have a banging body and a hot face" and its just like, what so you turned 16 and after your first shift your body was instantly different? While you're still technically a kid btw, just instant convenient glow up? It would've been better to say she toned up after being able to shift and train with her new family but this story is pretty uh, weird and cringey at times, like bending over backwards to say what a #girlboss she is when she really barely did anything or did something objectively shitty

. Like, she goes to train the adults, and a 22 year old asks why she only gives commands but never spars herself, and yeah he's slightly mean like "oh she's just 17, I could probably beat her" and how does she respond? During the fight she tells him "say uncle and I'll stop" while twisting his arm and he says nothing so she just BREAKS HIS ARM and it's played off as, oh its fine he's a wolf he'll heal, but then she's like "someone call a medic, we have a LADY down" like at this point during my first listening I was seriously confused on how I was supposed to relate and empathize with such an unlikable protagonist? Like girl you were literally called misogynistic slurs and you upgraded to beating up grown men and calling them women like, you internalized that shit, not conquered it 🙄 also a lot of these werewolf stories, not just this one, kind of seem to gloss over "oh yeah we're more rowdy and violent and show pda more and it's not uncommon to accidentally find people fucking in the woods but that's our culture cause we're wolves lol 🤪" really because you all have science and medicine and your own forms of government and half of you are using smartphones and driving Lamborghinis so I feel that, let's be blunt, the sheer debauchery and barbarianism is an active choice and they're kind of just the equivalent of people who run around doing blatantly archaic and cruel shit under the guise of "but.... but tradition tho? 🥺"

Also, because it's happening again, really cannot emphasize how they keep complimenting her body and eventually even outright talk about sex clubs and bondage before she's sven 18. Like sorry I don't want to hear about how this 17 year old is "5'5 with a DD cup and a flat stomach but a big ass" yeah and I'm sure she has a magic thigh gap too 🙄 like in hindsight they deliberately keep her a minor so she's still going to high school for plot convenience but then they put her in REALLY gross and creepy situations. Like as I'm listening to this again I'm double checking and mentions of time passing to see if she's even 18 by the time. Creepy stuff happens.

So when she's going to the Red River Pack, Amira's friend Samantha starts to ask "so you really can't feel the mate bond?" To which Amira replies "no unless he marks me which isn't going to happen" which, forced mating isn't new for these stories but im always very cautious of stories that bring this up because it can be. Skeezy if not properly handled. So. Hypothetical strike 1?

When Amira and the others get back to her old pack and Erebus sees her again, he's still all "mine" and she just brushes it off and tries to talk about training, when Amira's original blood brother shows up and she blows him off too, which, good for her in both regards. So since Damon is "the alpha of alphas", when he says "hey can we actually see our rooms now" erebus shuts up and settles down, and starts showing them around. Amira and Samantha break off to do some shopping before they start school the next day, and they happen to see Erebus buying flowers, which Amira assumes is for his girlfriend. Nope, he sees her walking to her car and is all "can we talk 🥺" and she's like "yeah, at training tomorrow, about strategy :)" and he's just so MOPEY, and saying "I've CHANGED" to which Amira replies, kinda cringe, "and I shit rainbows" and walks away

(Also as a side note I'd like to mention how extremely common it is for the main characters in these stories or side surrounding characters to be like cheesy tropes and it's explicitly said that Damon is a multi billionaire and Amira is "at about half of his networth" from receiving inheritance after she left the pack from her grandma and also money from training wolves but like that would also make her a billionaire??? But her family being extremely wealthy would make sense for why her parents travel to the point of abandoning her, but its just a little much. In fact i dont think you can legally touch inheritance money until youre 18)

So anyways she gets into another stupid play fight with her brothers because she created a snack stash with her own money but didn't share, and Erebus sees her using magic to mess with them, so now he's discovered "oh shit, my mate is a white wolf?"

So like, there are these concepts of these people acting more feral like when it comes to their mates, and she's rejected him, but not like, officially right? Like in a lot of these stories, you can officially break the matebond by verbally declaring something like "I Rhiannon Michael's reject you Nathan Thorn as my chosen mate" and it, severs it? Like a magic cancellation, albeit with negative consequences. So Amira goads Erebus and says "doesn't it suck knowing you couldve had a white wolf as your mate?" To which Damon adds "yeah, now she gets a second chance mate and you just have a forever broken mate bond. I bet your pack will die out"

(A lot of these stories have concepts of "the alphas strength is the whole packs strength, they're the strongest with their true mate", so I assume this is what it means. Also, hhhh kinda lowkey gives me story ideas for a yandere werewolf or whatever who not only wants to but HAS TO keep his squirmy reluctant little human mate because his pack is literally stronger with her there)

But anyways Erebus' definitely mature adult response to this is "you're getting a second chance mate? NO! You're MINE" and CHARGES at her, but with a flick of her hand she knocks him away with a wind shield and mocks him saying she's going to choose another hot sexy alpha over him, but then, chooses to physically approach him, to which he grabs her, spins around, and is straddling her in the ground 🙄 there is an increasing feeling of wariness and uncomfortableness as Erebus nips at her earlobe while growling "mine" and Amira admits to it being pleasurable because, im sitting here thinking, why from a narrative standpoint would you include this detail, that at least physically it feels good to have this forced unwanted touch, from a man whos bullied a girl into suicide, what is the intent here, and i quickly reached a theory and felt a pit open up in my stomach. Red flag number 2. And then when Amira attempts to knock him off with her powers? Nothing happens, and Erebus giddily exclaims that a white wolf can't use their powers while their mate is touching them and wants to will them away

MAJOR RED FLAG. So the inherent powers she has in her own body can be forcibly stopped by someone else in a story about her trying to have her own autonomy and freedom? And she's being forced down by a man she's rejected and made her miserable and cannot use her own powers to get him off of her while he's beginning to basically assault her? RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG and then she just, like, briefly overpowers him, and is all "hah, I don't need powers to fight you! Right brothers? Let's go eat chips lmao" like not even joking it just abruptly ends like that, they just leave Erebus to go eat snacks and the next chapter (5) starts

So, chapter 5, Amira, her 3 brothers, and Samantha are all eating breakfast in the packhouse when her brother walks in, and, wouldn't you know, calls for their parents. And Amira is like, "oh, why would fake mom and dad be here? They're always gone?" But sure enough, in walk her parents, with a fucking two month old baby. Like. Its not properly addressed in the story itself so I just really want to rage that these people literally had their daughter attempt suicide and literally leave a note for them telling them she's running away to a new family and never wants to see them ever again and they just??? REPLACED HER??? It is COMPLETELY glossed over and not addressed AT ALL. Did they even MOURN HER? And of course the baby is a girl, NAMED MIRA. THEY REPLACED HER. THEY REALLY FULL ON DEADASS REPLACED HER AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

Like it is not addressed at all. Amira isn't even mad they have another baby besides hoping they don't do the same thing to it that they did to her? Like sorry in some hypothetical scenario where I found out my daughter tried to kill herself partially because of her brother, my son, and she ran away saying I wasn't her family and she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I think I would hesirate to just immediately spit out another baby after pretty obviously failing my first two attempts? What quiverfull bullshit is this?

But Amira just walks up to them and is all "what I went through drove me to suicide, so love this little girl and give her everything you have, give her all the love you never gave me" but also like uh, you would think her parents would be like emotional and sobbing upon seeing her again and their reactions are more just, very muted and I think that may just be this author being kind of. Shit lmao. The mom just repeats how Amira addressed herself as someone else's daughter but, the conversation is interrupted because Mira is crying hysterically (vaguely implied because Amiras mom isn't very good at, momming) and, ugh, it's emphasized how immediately Mira becomes so calm that she falls asleep upon being in Amira's arms and that "I already feel so much love for this little girl, my little Mira" like she's literally crying tears holding this baby, and my uncomfortable feelings increase because literally the very second this happened I said aloud "oh god are they going to kill off her parents and make her raise her own sister just to show how sweet and motherly she is" and uh. :| well. Anyways Amira immediately asserts that she's going to be constantly visiting to check in on her little sister, and at this point I groan because I realize the little sister is a plot device so that Amira doesn't have the option of just finishing this training stuff and then never coming back to Red River. But anyways she demands her parents show her how to make Mira's formula and the story makes a point of showing how Amira is becoming increasingly reluctant to "stay mad" at her family, which uh would be the only reasonable reaction to be perfectly honest. But since Amira's hands are busy feeding Mira, which is only something she's insisting on doing, her parents are still right here the whole time, she turns to her brothers and asks which one of then is going to feed her, and of course Erebus walks in while Jason is spoonfeeding her pancakes

IMMEDIATELY "MINE, the only man feeding you should be me, you're mine!

"Jason is my brother??? Leave before I set you on fire, there's a BABY here."

So anyways Amira is leaving and there's this stupid part where they make it obvious that Mira prefers Amira over her own birthmother, sobbing the second her mother takes her back, and at this point I'm convinced they're killing off the parents, but, it transitions into a conversation where she deliberately pisses off Erebus on purpose by saying "maybe I'll fool around with someone" to which he bangs a fist on the desk "no you WONT fool around with a man that's not me 😤" and Amira retorts "I can fool around with anyone I want, because I'm hot as fuck, and you have no power over me" nd I'm thinking, good for her, albeit she's still 17 so, like, don't have her have sex at all maybe? And she retorts to him "go mark a pack slut"

And Erebus gets offended by this, but the ACTUAL red flag is DAMON'S reaction, which is "Erebus, hurt my sister and I'll kill you, Amira, fool around with a man I don't approve of, and I'll MAKE YOU WATCH AS I BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY. Understand?"

Oh, so, you mean to tell me that the brother figure who saved her from dying who has only known her for two years is also beginning to show signs of being possessive and controlling towards her in a potentially not platonic way? Ok. Ok. Red flag. Red flag for sure. Like genuinely the reason I'm going into so much detail is the sheer layers upon layers of ways Amira gets fucked over and betrayed. Also to take her out of the room, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out? And she says if it wasn't for her real brother Brendan that Damon would be the worst brother ever, to which Brendan who literally used to beat her comes up all hurt like "w was I really that bad of a big bro🥺" to which Amira replies the title of the chapter, 1438, the amount of times her brother physically put his hands on her. She literally begins reciting the figures on how many wounds left marks, how many wounds left scars, and I remember listening to this scene and thinking, "you had the dedication or perhaps spite to keep mental track of all your injuries to the point of counting them but you never sought help from any adult whatsoever????"

But Brendan is legitimately crying and saying he's full of regret and that his parents get on him every day, but Amira just says "fuck you, if we weren't blood I would beat you senseless and light you on fire" and also the father waits until like the very end of this conversation to say "you hit her over 1400 times?" And Amira leaves with her new brothers while her father starts scolding her old brother

So at this point we're thinking, good for Amira, she's starting to really show Erebus and her old family up huh? She's showing everyone how much she doesn't need them and how she's moved on. This is exactly what I want from "you made me try to kill myself stories so now I want either revenge or nothing to do with you" stories.

SO IMAGINE MY ABSOLUTE PAIN AND DEVASTATION WHEN CHAPTER 6 OPENS WITH

EREBUS' POV

LITERALLY i was listening to this story while working and I went, out loud, "NOOOOO THAT MEANS HE'S THE MALE LEAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS". So I try to form a protective mental barrier of denial. Maybe they're just showing his POV to rub his nose in how he's fucked up and give us the audience satisfaction? After dropping this story, I actually found another story that did that, that had POVs for both the new and old boyfriend and would cut to the old one to show him scheming, so, when this chapter came along, I was DEVASTATED but tried to think, hey, this, this isn't immediately game over, right?

Wrong

So the chapter starts from Erebus' point of view starting off from him walking in on Amira being fed and his internal monolog is as creepy as you would expect "oh my perfect mate, when I'm near her, I just want to hug her, kiss her, tie her down, and fuck her until she's mine" (again, she's still 17 at this point, I know I keep saying it but, not a big fan of the constant sexualization of a minor in what's supposed to be a female empowerment story?) . And or course his dumb ass internal thoughts are about how he's changed as a person, he reprimands other people for bullying, but he's also told everyone in the pack that Amira is his mate even though she already told him no. And then he has this internal thought process of "no, just mark her by force so she feels the bond. But that would be cheating. We have to do this the right way" but like uh him saying it's wrong does not undo the fact he's even considering forcing her, which, well, later on---

(Also lmao ms 5'5 DD cup huge ass flat tummy Amira is also described as having 'a tiny waist' like girl cmon)

Should I also mention we only have a female narrator so, she also does the men, so, that can be a little. Awkward lol. She has a decent range but, it's still "girl making her voice deeper to try and be a dude". I think she does a good job, simply mentioning, there are other stories with multiple VAs, which I'm getting to later, but, I figured I would mention how the story sounds besides the writing quality itself

Anyways uh Erebus overhears Amira's brothers talking about him, and one of them is like, do you think Amira will ever forgive Erebus, and Damon deadass responds "not sure, if she does I'd be highly apprehensive, but he really seems he regrets his actions, so if she chooses to give him a chance, I'll be there for her" ummmmm the fuck? How would you fucking know? Who are you to even say it seems like Erebus has regrets? And does him having regrets somehow magically undo what he did? It's the fact this is Damon who is Amira's number 1 supporter saying this, that Erebus would vaguely deserve some sort of chance after what he did? And of course Erebus hears all this and says "see she's gonna give me another chance, I believe in the mate bond"

Also if there's an official statement to break the mate bond why didn't Amira just say it instead of insulting him and running off. Like. Red flag.

Erebus witnesses another sibling tickle fight and keeps internally calling her his mate, which is gross, and, oh no anime trope, she was running away and tripped right into him and stumbled them both right over 🥺👉👈 and Damon scoops her up, mocking him and thanking him for catching his sister and saying at least hes good for something. And Erebus, full simp mode, says "as long as I get a chance to hold her, that's fine" and like Damon has a visible sympathetic reaction, gross, and Erebus is all "I hope he hears the sincerity in my voice uwu"

So. Gosh, I know I've written so much at this point, so I may skip some scenes, or only mention footnotes until significant events, but we haven't even come NEAR the PEAK BULLSHIT that happens later

-she confronts her old class again and is all edgy and stupid about it tbh. "Before you all made me slit my wrists, but now I'm here to train this pathetic pack" ok edge lord some of them may have just been minding their own business. The entire classroom calls her "Luna" which is the Alpha's mate and top pack female

-Erebus pushes her up against a wall, you're mine, I love you, and she just replies, oh that must be a shitty feeling, loving someone who will never love you back. Queen. She gets away from getting out of his grip and threatening to burn him and then invites him for a formal fight behind the packhouse after school

-she for some reason was going to go meet him alone? Her brothers only came with after they found out

-she verbally acknowledges she can't hurt him as her mate, but doesn't formally reject him so he, you know, isn't her mate anymore? Like girl you have a solution to the problem?

-"the old me you knew died when she slit her wrists" cringe

-she gets him struck by lightning and gives a dramatic speech telling him dtuff like she tortures without a second thought and he wouldn't want her as his mate since she'd kill him in his sleep and as she's walking away SHE'S CRYING "BECAUSE IT HURTS TO DO THIS TO HER ALPHA WHO CARES ABOUT HIS PACK, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE'S STILL MY MATE AND IT MAKES ME SAD TO HURT HIM" GIRL YOU FUCKING LOSER, TF, genuinely hated this bitch at this point, imagine getting beaten daily for years and years and then just forgiving that and even loving that person. Vomit vomit vomit

-Amira decides the pack is too weak to be trained by her just yet and she doesnt want to stay in the pack house, so she's going to go to a hotel, and also tells all this to her brothers and Erebus, and also to stop telling the pack to call her Luna. Erebus says no, just because he doesn't want her staying in a hotel, not even her not wanting to train them yet, because 'she's his mate and he wants her close to protect her, and the pack calls you Luna because you're my queen and my everything and we WILL be together and mate" gross gross gross

-Amira tells him straight up she'd rather die than be marked by him yet doesn't reject him officially

-Erebus basically threatens to hold her in captivity on suicide watch and mark her without her consent "if she doesn't accept me in the near future"

-white wolves have natural strong maternal feelings which is stupid :/ I thought this was a bad bitch story, fuck them kids, she's still a kid herself, gross

-Erebus sees her helping this little girl Ariel who fucked up her ankle while playing and climbing a tree and he says this gross ass comment like "you're going to be the perfect mother to our pups" 🤮🤮🤮🤮

-Amira tells Ariel's parents not to call her Luna and for some reason this makes them sad? Shouldn't they respect how she feels? She isn't Erebus' mate officially, and then he strolls in trying to emotionally manipulate her by saying she's "breaking their hearts"

-"I used to care about breaking hearts until I cut my wrists from my own heart being broken" and you wanna think yeah bitch you tell him

Or so you would think, right? Except no, ot instantly transitions into describing how he managed to shower and is looking oh so handsome and sexy in a tight shirt that shows his muscles through it AND THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SAYS "OH HE'S SO HOT, I WOULD FOOL AROUND WITH HIM IF IT WASNT FOR OUR HISTORY, ACTUALLY I MIGHT WIND UP DOING THAT ANYWAYS" LIKE, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT

By this point (speaking in past tense of my first listen, refreshing my memory on second go around) I am incredibly uncomfortable with the framing of this story as it feels almost definitive that Erebus is going to be forgiven and eventually rewarded with Amira, which, no, that's not why I read these stories, and you definitely are going to get on a lot of bad sides having a genuinely awful guy continue to be awful but be only slightly nicer and then never have to face consequences for his past

- Erebus insists that even if she doesn't feel the mate bond, she'll start to be attracted to him, he's, quote, "known as something of a sex god" even though he should realistically only be 17 or 18 years old, so, cap, little boy

-the depictions of Erebus touching her nonconsensually, like holding her down or pinning her against walls, starts to become increasingly fetishized. He corners her and basically tells her his preferred method of punishment is overstimulation and, she's a 17 year old virgin. she thinks this is all hot by the way and thinks "anything that happens between us would merely be fooling around" so its like oh great now you're repeatedly entertaining thoughts and admitting to yourself you find him "incredibly sexy"

So, chapter 9 right. The chapter is called "mate" and something about the simplicity and topic makes me think, oh shit, is this 'it'? 👀 are we here?

Amira's adoptive dad decides to send more Alphas to help Amira with the weaklings. Amira officially moves her things out of the pack house to stay at her fancy hotel in a royal suite "that's basically like an apartment", and she goes to eat at the restaurant at the hotel because, the other Alphas being sent over are also at her exact same hotel and, why not meet them? And upon entering the restaurant, she smells something and she feels this voice I side herself say MATE and she worries, shit, is Erebus here?

"And I look around in a panic, and Erebus is here BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WAS SMELLING"

AT THIS POINT IM HOLLERING, YES FINALLY WE'RE REPLACING THIS BITCH EREBUS, SECOND CHANCE MATE LET'S GO. It's another Alpha, Christian of the Oak Wood pack, and "holy fuck the mate pull is strong" so she's instantly dickmatized, like instantly feeling goo-goo over him. And he adores her and they start making up, which of course makes Erebus mad. And Christian says outright, "you don't deserve her, she's mine" so he obviously knows the story between them? But Amira and him are all doe eyed and she even sits on his lap after he pulls her close, but, y'all you're in a public restaurant... ew.....

So Erebus is sitting there glowering for the rest of the meal until Christian's men leave them alone for privacy, and this bitter bitch really says "let's cut the shit, white wolves are known for having more than one mate,and are known for being shared song them, the way I see it, you and I will have to share" and Amira snorts because that's absolutely fucking stupid and Christian is. Dead silent. "For several minutes"?

And then

This

Absolute little cunt of a man

Just says straight up

"I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT"

The fuck? The FUCK? DID YOU NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE SUICIDE THING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?

But then this bitch, this bitch CONTINUES, "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT, I AM FINE WITH SHARING, IF THAT IS WHAT THE MOON GODDESS CHOSE"

screaming crying pissing throwing objects violently howling at the moon as I rage 'WHAT ABOUT WHAT AMIRA FUCKING WANTS', like girl throw the whole goddamn man away, he literally INSTANTLY ruined this and he JUST got here. this moron literally says "I can tell we were meant to share you, and I don't fuck with fate, I can tell he's different from the man who bullied you" oh so you know him better than his victim c: you know her pain? She should forgive it because he's magically changed but not really? And she should just BE SHARED? C: drink bleach

Oh and Christian is an 18 year old high school senior so he's transferring to Amira's school so basically every aspect of her life is being smothered with one of these prices.

Amira, literally, overhears Erebus and Christian talking in the school library about how "she's bound to come around, but if it isn't in the next few days, we may have to forcefully mark her"

So like, they're basically scheming to rape her. Ok. Let's not mince it. They are scheming to force upon her an act that will nonconsensually and permanantly alter how her brain and feelings and even her biology functions and basically force her to have feelings for them against her will. This is basically the kind of thing I would write, but the difference is I write stalker fetish porn and not, stories legitimately marketed as romance that's supposed to, like, idk, frame the guys as good, desirable people. They plot about even hiring witches to enchant restraints like handcuffs and ropes, and they're talking about things in such scary serious detail it's obvious they plan on doing this for real. And then they sense her outside the library and she tries to run, but of course she gets caught by Erebus :/ she has to "suppress the shiver that threatens to go down her spine" when he nibbles her ear and goes down to where her mate mark would be, gross, and "let's out a moan that's not completely forced" to lure him into false security for her to escape and create a barrier with magic, and oh, she suddenly remembers, she had a magical werewolf mindlink with her brothers, duh? All werewolves have mindlinks

Erebus is all "Amira we're your MATES, we're here to love amd care about you, but you have to LET US" this is like genuine fucking delusional yandere levels of denial and lack of accountability like, the Oscar goes to these men for the ability to act like they ain't the ones acting like total rapist nightmare creeps that she shouldn't have immediately called the werewolf police on

Anywaya, so in the past I was thinking, ok, ok, this has got to be, like, a red herring, right? How Erebus is so terrible and then Christian is immediately a piece of shit too? They just said several mates earlier, so, maybe she chooses number three? Is there a number three?

Mate number three is her fucking brother Damon and they all find out when he appears to rescue her. NUMBER THREE IS HER FUCKING ADOPTIVE FOUND FAMILY BROTHER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOURCE OF SAFETY AND TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR HER AND HE WAS BASICALLY ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER AND WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOVE HER AS A SIBLING AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS ROUGHHOUSING AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A PLATONIC BRO? NO HE WAS FEELING HIS ALPHA URGES. CARRYING HER WHENEVER SHE WAS SICK OR TIRED? ACTING ON HIS PROTECTIVE URGES OUT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

But OH NO, they don't immediately know it's him, Erebus and Christian start freaking out and when Amira says "that's bullshit, I would feel the mate bond otherwise", Damon is just like "well, I know something I could do that might kickstart it if its there but you'll probably hate me for this" and suddenly kisses her without asking and thats how it is confirmed, yeah, he's number 3 and she likes kissing him, until she's panting afterwards 😩

-he carries her off into her car and there's this whole "no don't carry me k can walk, don't buckle my seat belt im an adult" "no Amira you're my mate and rhat involves giving this relationship my all, and that includes carrying you, protecting you, and fucking you--" she's still 17 and you were her "brother" just 5 minutes ago dude. But she gets horny from this 🙄 and. He can smell it.

-conversation about how she's a virgin who's never even masturbated, instantly transition to "he cups my pussy through my pants" YO SHE'S STILL 17 THO???

-Damon booked a suite down the hall from hers at her hotel 🙄 she instantly starts to hook up with him, UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MARKS HER WITHOUT ASKING, AND SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS NO. She says that he knew she wasn't ready and she was too much of her own person to be marked yet and this stupid bastard replies "no you ARE ready, I KNOW you're ready" ok you freak, you've technically known her for not even two years. You know her better than she knows herself? You know her so well it entitles you to break such an intense intimate personal boundary???

So now she's marked by him, against her will, and he's confident in his decision, and, like, it lowkey reads as a horror film because he transitions into how he knows she's scared but he's going to love and protect her but like he basically just MARKED HER SOUL without even a warning? It's like? That's rape dude? There's no glossing over that? You just changed an extremely huge part of her autonomy, bodily, emotionally, psychologically, against her will, and you're just telling her to chill because you love her and she's initially in love with you?

For a woman's empowerment story Amira sure keeps meeting men she is supposed to love and trust who bring some sort of unspeakable betrayal or harm upon her and it only gets worse.

-he marked her but they didnt have sex, awkward transition to two days later

-they're cuddling when Damon gets hard and randomly starts talking about how much he loves his women helpless, he loves bondage and overstimulation and how seeing a girl writhe in denial and overstimulation

-she's turned on, she's deciding you know what, after dinner I'm gonna fuck this man after we got out to dinner. She is INFATUATED with this guy, can't even focus on her food. She does this weird, seductive licking and sucking vanilla ice cream off her lips and fingers since she figures he's already paid the bill so it doesn't matter if he embarrasses them both by carrying her out which he does

But anyways so, they dont have sex again but its the next day, we're moving on to another really uncomfortable plot point. Damon pulls Amira aside and says "hey, with female wolves with multiple mates, when you're marked by one, you go crazy with the urge to mate wirh the others" ok pause, so because he marked her against her will, she is now magically horny for erebus and Christian where she wasn't before, and now they're magically going crazy because they can sense she's been marked and they ""need" to mark her now? This is so fucked up and unfair, where is her CHOICE, why is she a side character in her own story???

so, I don't really like any of these options, but out of the three, at least Damon will protect her from those that try to harm her, right?

WRONG

This

Little

Absolute

Cunt

Says

"YEAH NOW THAT I'M YOUR MATE, I ALSO SHARE A SORT OF BOND WITH CHRISTIAN AND EREBUS, OF RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO STOP THEM BEING WITH YOU"

psycho. Absolute freak. Marks her by force, and then says he's going to share her with the guy who pushed her to suicide, like DAMON WAS THE ONE WHO literally found her dying, and another guy she's already rejected. So. The betrayals really do keep adding up don't they? Like it's really unsettling how no one is truly in Amira's corner?

So she stands up and says "fuck you" because she feels hurt and betrayed by him, and there's this, extremelt cringey exchange, really genuinely cringey is the only word I can use, so she's trying to walk away from him, he grabs her from behind, lightly squeezes her throat, and says "you WILL calm down or I will take you home and punish you and you would NOT like my punishments. Don't forget I am a Dominant and you are my Submissive" like 🤮🤮🤮 ok Christian Gray wannabe bitch go fys

Amd Amira gets out of his grip and is rightfully enraged he'd threaten her and says he better watch out because she can pray to the moon goddess to remove their bond, and he just like, isn't even listening to her, and he says, "oh that's another thing we'll have to work out, you'll be a Sub to three Alpha Doms" and she's like "what" and casually he's like "yeah we're actually pretty popular at some of the CLUBS around here as famous Doms"

Oh, so. Let me. Let me run this back. Her three mates are her childhood bully who verbally belittled her and also horribly beat her, some new prick she doesn't even know who is totally fine sharing with the bully and is also totally fine with forcing her, and her adoptive brother of two years who doesn't care about sharing either and has already marked her by force, and all three of them have also been running around performing as Dominants at sex clubs at a professional level to the point of being known as, quote, the best Doms out there, the most experienced? That's an enormous turn off for me actually! Y'all are seniors in high school acting as Doms? Is that even legal? Wow, I sure would feel great to know that all 3 of the mates forcing themselves onto me and saying I don't get a choice have already ran through countless other women!

Oh and then her birth parents die. I'm serious, theres like a two mimute transition between Damon saying they'll share to her hearing her parents are dying. They got into a car accident. Her mom dies first and the mate bond weakens and takes her father soon after, so now, just as I predicted, she now has custody of Mira and she furthers her role as a plot device

-she's dumb enough to answer the hotel room door without double checking and all three men force their way into her room with groceries and stuff, to 'help her', separating her from Mira, and they immediately start talking about gags and ropes, and sure enough they brought restraints and she's sitting there with a ball gag talking about how they've restraint proofed the entire hotel suite "wherever we go we can tie her up, even in the shower"

This is straight up fucking yandere bullshit. And she kind of jokingly says "oh they're Dominants, so being restrained is something I guess I'll have to get used to, oh wait I'm not accepting them what am I saying tee hee" girl what the actual fuck this is NOT the time for this.

So while she's gagged, she's basically mentally recounting how to formally reject a mate bond. It will recede on her end, but the mates will still feel ot "and also become crazy possessive, but they're already possessive anyways" so why does canceling the mate bond basically not have any negative consequences. So the second her gag is removed, she verbally rejects them all at once, and they physically collapse to their knees in pain

Um. So. Rejecting Damon apparently doesn't count because the Moon Goddess has to accept your rejection if you're already marked? And Christian says "I reject your rejection" and what does he do? MARKS HER BY FORCE. AND THEN SO DOES EREBUS. AND THEY KNOW MARKING HER BY FORCE WILL CAUSE HER BODY SIGNIFICANT PAIN BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAYS. She literally passes out from the strain of two forced marks.

So at this point its like, how could this get any worse?

How about God herself personally making it worse?

The Moon Goddess herself winds up appearing in a flash of light before Amira and the three men and basically, God, how do I even describe this weird ass fucking conversation. She's acting all holy and motherly and wants to hold Mira and talks to Amira like a mom and then she turns to the men and then, just barely sternly chastises them, saying they completely ignored Amira's consent, and "im going to give you all another chance, but hurt her again and I'll give her entirely new mates"

So. So. So. Ok. Ok. Even though Amira already rejected them though? Like I thought only Damon needed your approval? Christian and Erebus marked her by force after she already rejected them? Did her rejecting them not even matter? Does she have any power or agency at all? Hey, blue fairy bitch, she already told them no and their response was to force themselves on her, so why is your response, oh, I'LL give you another chance. Bitch it's not your choice? The fuck? Also they already proved they're scum? What the fuck? So now even GOD is willing to sell her out? The fuck? The fuck?

So first listen in, at this point I'm obviously incensed, I'm thinking, ok, surely some weird bullshit is going on here, maybe one or two or three of them die or she rejects them all in the end anyways, so I say, fuck it, and skip to like, the third ti last chapter

"Me, Damon, Erebus, and Christian all sat together in the diner--"

Throwing my goddamn phone out the window. Fuck this story man. Fuck these characters, fuck how she literally only had one real friend this entire story (Samantha), fuck how her agency snd choice was constantly taken away from her, just, fuck it all, this was genuinely like a horror story, like genuinely made me uncomfortable to listen to, like I was audibly saying "but that's like rape? That's basically rape? What the fuck?"

So in better news, on the same app that this story is on, DreameFm, is a much better story I listened to and would recommend :) it's The Perfect Luna and you can listen to the first 3 chapters here here and here, (oh you can go straight to downloading the app where the rest have to be bought with coins). It's got some 36 or something chapters which I find a pretty decent length and I think the quality of the story and the voice acting is really good!

It follows the story of Alpha and Luna Riannon Thorne as the story begins with her being killed by her cheating husband's lover and being sent back in time to try and do everything all over again! After she's sent back in time, she can't talk to or use her wolf at all and has to rely on her wits and knowledge of the future to navigate through her second lifetime, but as she starts doing things differently, she finds a much different outcome than before. The voice acting is pretty good, although the lady does change at chapter 26 which is a little jarring since it's more than halfway over at that point but I still found the story worth continuing. The male voice actor, I think there may be two, are also dedicated, and i think you guys may like some of the villains like the evil Fox King who even has his own harem ;) definitely a palette cleanser for the awful awful whiplash that Back and Better gave me 🤮 bluh. Definitely a good girl power listen uwu

#yandere stuff #jesus this is LOOOOOOOOOOONG #weebwolves

15 notes · View notes

crash-cinematic-universe · 4 years

Text

Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

pairing: lead singer!peter maximoff/bassist!fem!reader

summary: nobody likes the opening band-- except, of course, the lead singer’s secret girlfriend, who just happens to be the headliner.

warnings: smut, oral (female receiving) they fuck on an amp and that stresses me out

notes: you literally cannot blame me for using this song its just so HORNY. also this is almost 1.8k words im Proud. This is a songfic but also at the same time not really (based off of lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by Panic! At The Disco)

I dedicate this fic to my dear friend @kitwalkers who’s honestly an icon and you should go check them out

~~~~~~~~~~~

You could see it in his eyes and the mischievous grin on his face. He sauntered over to the stage, his hips swinging just a bit more than usual. He said something to the drummer before approaching the microphone. His hand slides down the mic stand, his finger caressing the cold metal as he adjusted the high. The opening performance. This was only the opening performance. All you had to do was get through his set and then you could do your own-- you just had to make it through a couple songs. Yet somehow, Peter Maximoff managed to drag out his set as much as possible, his intentions obvious. He was trying to get you worked up before the performance-- Peter had a habit of teasing you before big events.

Eventually, the last song rolls around and the end is in sight. His eyes met yours, the dark pupils obviously blown out more than usual. He was either high or horny-- probably both. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, but it lingered for a second, flicking a corner of his mouth before he gave the signal to his bandmates. The bassist had barely played a note but you already recognized the song-- Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off. Your stomach dropped and Peter smirked, satisfaction written all over his face as his queue approached.

“Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress?” His voice is low and sultry, his eyes still locked with yours. His hands move along the mic stand slowly, his actions and the fiery look in his eyes immediately traveling to your core. You press your thighs together and Peter grins. “Well then think of what you did, and how I hope to god he was worth it. When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.” Your bandmate leans over to whisper in your ear.

“He’s, uh, quite the showman,” She chuckles. Her eyes trail upland down Peter’s body and you can’t help but clench your jaw. Sure, no one knew about you and Peter, but that didn’t stop you from getting defensive.

“I heard he’s got a girl-- somethin’ secretive.” You add slyly, your eyes not leaving Peter’s.

“Lucky gal,” Your bandmate quips. You nod absentmindedly. Peter seems dissatisfied with the loss of your attention, his movements becoming more and more suggestive by the second.

“Girl I was it, look past the sweat. A better love deserving of exchanging body heat in the passenger's seat-- no, no, no, you know it will always just be me,” He nodded slowly, leaning forward with the mic stand, the long metal pole tipping between his legs. “Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster! Faster!.” Peter tore his eyes away from yours as the bass and guitar blares, his head shaking to dishevel his hair. Peter takes the mic off the stand and begins to move around the stage with more energy than usual, his voice melodic and breathy and so incredibly hot, it makes your bones vibrate.

With every strum of the guitar and crash of the symbols, Peter was becoming more and more frustrated. He was hot and sweaty and so horny he felt like he was about to shout-- he was the opener, he was only the opener. He tugged off his jacket, tossing it to the corner of the stage before he returned to singing. He had to get through the song-- just the one song then he could run backstage and jack off in some closet and he’d be fine. You were not helping Peter’s situation; your unyielding gaze and slow gestures making Peter’s jeans feel much tighter than before. Yes, Peter understood he started it-- he chose this song because he knew it would get you going, but Peter did not realize the consequences. He didn’t show it, though. He kept up his smug facade, shooting a wink your way as he began the final chorus.

Peter grunted in confusion as you walked away before the end of the song, his eyes following you around the corner. He glanced back at his bandmates as the song closed, allowing them to adjust their instruments and discuss the performance as he sped off. You were standing outside of the venue, the cool winter air soothing your hot skin-- Peter’s appearance startled you.

“Why’d you run off, doll? Did ya not like the song?” Peter teased as he pressed his palms against the brick wall on either side of your head, effectively trapping you in place. You weren’t necessarily complaining, though; it was nice to have Peter this close. Although you had a feeling he’d get a lot closer in the near future.

“Eh, it was okay,” You quipped, a smirk stuck on your face as Peter began inching closer. “I hope you’re aware that I blow your bass player out of the water; the poor kid had no control over his fingers.”

“Oh yeah?” The silver-haired man leaned close, his lips brushing your ear and his hot breath on your skin as he spoke softly. “Well unlike him, I actually know how to work my fingers.” He drags his pointer finger along your jaw causing a shiver to run down your spine.

“Prove it.” You purr. Peter hastily pulls you inside the venue and into the first empty room he could find; he was pleased to see that you ended up in the equipment storage closet. He was on you in seconds, his hands gripping your waist as he slammed his lips on yours. You gasp, and Peter takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. He grinds against your thigh, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. Frantically, he manages to lay you on top of one of the industrial sized amps in the corner. Sure, if they were to break the both of you would probably owe thousands of dollars, but neither of you cared at the moment.

“You’re on in 20 minutes,” Peter says as he nibbles on your earlobe. “I’m sure we’ll make good use of our time until then.” He winked before making his way down your body, stopping at your hips. His hands make quick work of your jeans, tugging the tight fabric off along with your underwear. Peter glances up at you with faux innocence in his eyes before he pulls your legs into his shoulders, his hot breath fanning over your cunt. After what feels like an eternity, he finally jerks forward and buries his head between your thighs and drags his tongue over your clit. You stifle a moan as Peter moves quickly, his lips encapsulating your clit as he plunges two of his fingers inside of you. Peter’s fingers are long and calloused and he curls them in just the right way. Immediately, your fingers are tangled in his hair as you attempt to pull him closer to you. You pull just a bit too hard and a low groan emits from Peter’s lips; Peter can feel you tighten around his fingers every time he moans into you. Your hips jerk forward as Peter speeds up, adding another finger as he does so. You bite down on your lip hard enough to draw blood as you spasm around his fingers, a breathy whimper escaping your lips. Peter laps up the last of your juices before crawling on top of you.

“I’m still not over how good you are at that,” You pant. Peter slams his lips on yours, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth-- you can taste yourself on his lips, but you don’t really mind. “Time?”

“We got 10 minutes,” You smirk.

“Perfect.” You shimmy out from below Peter, falling to your knees in front of him. He melts like putty in your hands as you pull off his jeans; Peter’s cock was throbbing and stiff by the time you took it in your hand. He groans, his hips snapping forward in an attempt to get more friction. You press kisses to his lower abdomen, intentionally neglecting his rock-hard dick while doing so. You kiss your way back up his body, chuckling as Peter tries to grind into your thigh.

“C-C’mon, we’re gonna run out of time.” Peter whines. He quickly repositions himself so he’s on top of you, his hands holding himself up. “You ready, babe?” You nod, and Peter grins.

Peter’s hips snap forward, pushing his cock into your throbbing cunt. He stretches you deliciously, a pleasurable burning sensation spreading between your hips as Peter begins to move.

“Fuck-- you’re tight,” Peter huffs, his thrusts becoming quicker and more rhythmic as the time passed. Your nails dig into Peter’s back as he thrusts harder, the sound of his skin slapping against yours filling the small room along with your moans and gasps. Peter pulls your leg onto his shoulder, allowing him to thrust deeper than before.

“Oh-- fuck, Peter, you feel so good--” That seems to spur Peter on, his head dipping down to meet your lips. He moans into your mouth, your teeth clashing together as your lips move sloppily. The man above you is panting, his hot breath hitting your face as he pounds into you. He’s sweaty, his silver hair sticking to his forehead. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Peter brushes the spot deep inside of you that makes your toes curl, a strained moan leaving your lips. Peter’s thrusts become uneven and you can tell he’s close-- you are, too.

“You gonna come, baby?” You ask, and Peter can only nod. Your hand grapes the back of his neck, tugging him down so you can whisper in his ear. “Come for me, sugar,” He does exactly that, his hips rapidly snapping into yours as he emptied himself inside of you. Peter’s orgasm triggered your own, your cunt tightening around him as you threw your head back.

You’re both sweaty and disheveled by the time you both came down from your climaxes, both you and Peter decorated by dark red hickies. You chuckle quickly at Peter’s blissed-out smile, his lips pressing small kisses along your jaw. He whines as you get off the amp and begin pulling on your clothes.

“Stay with me,” He pleads. You press a kiss to his forehead before you button up your jeans.

“I wish I could, Maximoff, but I’m on in 5.” You turn to leave, but not before speaking up one more time. “For the record, Maximoff, you were right. You are pretty good with your fingers.”

#nsft #Evan Peters #peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximof x reader #xmen fanfiction #xmen imagine #xmen songfic #quicksilver x reader #this one is for u besite <<33 #irl dont look

109 notes · View notes

musicnoots · 4 years

Text

Honey, Hold On For Me

Shifty Powers/Reader

Prompt “The way I feel when I’m with you...” requested by anon

A/N: i’m sorry this took so long but i finally beat writers block and this present to you all... THIS!

Synopsis: You and Shifty begin to talk about the future—what lies ahead on your journey together and what happens when the story ends.

Tags: @wexhappyxfew @junojelli @dumpofdumblings @bandofmarvels @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @floydtab @tvserie-s-world @yeahcurrahee @gottapenny @dustyjjumpwings @those-dusty-jump-wings @meteora-fc @rayleighshughes @medievalfangirl @majwinters @not-john-watsons-blog @alienoresimagines @david-weepster @higgles123 @curraheev

It’d been a long day, warm and breezy, honey-slow for a change. He was lucky enough to snag a moment for himself after weeks of fighting along the frontlines, briefly forgetting the sound of death and instead, his day was filled with you, humming a tune as you laid just mere inches away from him.

It was familiar, but he can’t quite put his finger on it—he thinks it’s probably one of those Ella Fitzgerald songs he used to hear on the radio during those hot, summer nights back home at Clinchco. He rests against the trunk of the tree his body leans against, you’ve laid your head on his lap, eyes closed as his fingers became weaved within the strands of your hair—he thinks you look beautiful. The sun shines on your face so perfectly, it highlights your features so marvelously, the identity of the mystery tune no longer plagues his head but rather, replaced by another.

“I had a dream the other night.”

“Hm?” You glance up, unbothered.

Shifty fights the urge to shy away from the question. Instead, he rests his head against the tree his body leans against and brushes a stray hair from your face. “I had a dream...about us. We were married.”

You open your eyes, and the corners of your lips curved upwards. “We were?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “We lived in a beautiful house back at Clinchco—two stories, nice, big ol’ living room, and a cute little pupper waiting for us in the front yard. Don’t think we named ‘im, but we were married, darlin’. Wedding bands and everythin’.” The rings were gold, he remembers. He’d run his thumb over the metal when he takes your hand into his over the kitchen counter, early morning I love yous exchanged over hot coffee. Having you be a part of his life in the years to come just felt like the right thing to happen. “I guess...I guess it was everything I could’ve ever wished for.”

“Everything you could’ve ever wished for?” you echo back, asking if you had heard him right and he nods.

“It was all so...perfect. It was the best dream I’ve had in a long time, and I still think about it, how...how wonderful everything was. And it just made sense, y’know, after all this war stuff, for me to go back home and settle down.” He looks down and hopes to see a look of agreement on your face, that maybe, you’d want to tag along with him in the end.

But of course, he doesn’t know what your post-war ambitions include. You’re young, you and Shifty both, at the ripe old age of twenty-one, he wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t feel like setting down just yet. If you wanted to travel the world, earn a university degree, reach for the highest stars in the sky, he’d promise that he’ll be by your side, even if it meant delaying his own plans until the time was right. Shifty doesn’t care where his future endeavors take him, he just knows that he’s meant to live them out with you.

“I think at this point, we both deserve that,” you say, rolling on your side and smiling at him. You’re glad you both grasped a moment for yourselves because if this was the last time you’d see each other, this is the way you would spend it—in his arms, at ease. “I’m hopin’ I get to live long enough to live that, you know? I don’t even know if I’ll be lucky enough to see your face tomorrow, I’m stuck here savoring this moment between us here, so that I’ll have something to hold on to if either of us don’t make it.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but the words come stuck at his throat. When you put it like that, Shifty becomes more aware of the circumstances that surround the universe at this very moment, and he’s almost found himself with a change of heart, a revelation. He pulls his hand away from your hair and traces the shape of your eyebrow with his thumb. He wished he would have appreciated this moment as much as you did. “I...I never thought of it like that before...suppose our days together are numbered, and we don’t know how long it’s gonna last.”

“Life without you, I don’t even wanna think what that would look like, Darrell. I never wanna think about a world where you’re not in it. Guess I love you a lot, but I just wanna believe that we’d be together until the end of time. Physically, emotionally, spiritually…”

“Maybe the best we could do is to hold onto each other for as long we can,” he says. He’s not so sure else to say. He didn’t expect for this conversation to ever happen, but he thinks it was bound to happen anyways—fighting on in a war next to the person he loves, it was a conversation he should have been ready for, but he never knew how heavy it would be.

It’s a solemn evening.

What began as a simple conversation of dreams and what ifs turned into a serious talk about life and death in a time where the next sunrise isn’t even guaranteed for every soul that long to see it. Shifty starts to think that maybe this conversation was meant to happen. He should have known that there might be a day where he would have to let go of you, go on with life as if you didn’t hold his heart with the gentlest hands—he realizes that he only wants to spend the rest of his own life with you. The first time he kissed you, behind the mess hall under the hot Georgia night, hair matted against your skin, he already knew there was no else he would rather spend life’s adventures with.

“I’ve been meanin’ to ask you,” he speaks again, “if you’d be okay livin’ the rest of forever with me. You don’t have to say yes.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “I don’t have to say yes?”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna force you into making a decision for me—I know Clinchco ain’t exactly a town with a whole lot of opportunities,” he said, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “No matter what you say, I won’t love you any less. You could be halfway across the country doin’ ya own thing, and I’ll still be writing you love letters like I always do. Hopin’ they’ll nicer by then, but I can’t make a promises that they’ll be in any form extravagant.”

The speech smacks you across the face. You roll off his lap and plant your hand on the Earth to keep you steady. “Darrell...you really don’t have to—“

“But honey, I do mean it,” he interrupts. He bites his bottom lip and watches your expression, your eyebrows as they knit together in shock. “The way I feel when I’m with you...I just wanna feel it everyday, forever. I don’t care where in the world you take us, I just wanna be with you, Clinchco or not.”

“How come I don’t have to say yes?” you ask.

“‘Cause I know Clinchco ain’t the town for everyone, and I don’t know if you’d wanna settle down with some ol’ hillbilly like me. I know I can’t offer a whole lot to you. If you don’t wanna be seen with a fella like me, I understand, and I’ll still love you no matter what. And if you don’t wanna be with me no more, or if we can’t be together after this, just know that I would rather have you for the time we have right now than anyone else for the rest of my life.”

“Darrell…”

He gives you a sad smile. He means it.

You hold up a hand to his cheek and stroke the skin gently. “But I don’t know what I wanna do after all of this is over...we don’t even know when this is gonna end.”

“That’s alright, maybe we can think about it on the way…” He takes your hand and plants his lips on your palm. “I just needa know if you’re willing to spend the rest of eternity with...with me.”

For a fleeting moment, you’re motionless and Shifty’s smile starts to fade away with every passing second. He knows not to make a fuss about it, after all, he only wants what’s best for you, and he’ll be happy regardless of your decision.

“Yeah.” You sit back on your haunches and take his face into your hands. “I do wanna spend it all with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You pull him in for a kiss, his own hands resting on the curve of your back. He worries about his lips being chapped, but you’ve kissed him one too many times to even bother with that—it’s perfect every time.

He pulls away after a short moment. “I’m not guilting you, am I?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Never. I’m choosing to live it out with you, and wherever this world takes us—who knows? I’m not expecting anything lavish, dear. All I really want is to be by your side, and for you to be right by mine.”

He’s awestruck. “You really do mean it, do you?”

“I know this is where I’m supposed to be.” You sit yourself next to him with your back against the tree trunk and put your head on his shoulder. “This is where I’m meant to be…”

There’s only a few more hours left until the both of you are able to get some shut eye, the sun finally ends her descent below horizon to welcome the faint outline of the moon. Shifty thinks about his dream again, how it would be to sleep together in an actual bed, legs tangled beneath blankets, wedding bands resting on the nightstand nearby—he wonders if that’s exactly what the future has in store for him. In another world, he wouldn’t have to worry about making it out the war alive, rather, he’d just have to worry about how long you both can sleep in together until you feel the guilt seep in from your sides.

He wraps his arms around you and watches as the shadows on the ground slowly blend into nothing, daylight fading away into the solemn darkness of the night. He feels content with what he has now and kisses the top of your head. You smile and squeeze his thigh, all too focused on enjoying the moment as it is.

For now, he would have to hold on for a little while longer. For the both of you.

#shifty powers #band of brothers #hbo war #easy company #band of brothers fanfiction #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers imagines #band of brothers fic #shifty powers x reader #this one is the one of the longer ones #but most of my fics now are getting longer so #it really took me 3 weeks to write this

87 notes · View notes

angstalottle · 4 years

Text

Why Are You Here?

Part 2:

The air in the room seemed to grow very thick as the two brothers stared at each other neither really believing what they saw.

For Diago he was seeing a face he had long since assumed was gone forever, a brother that abandoned them and left a hole in their family that was never to be filled again.

For Five he was realising he had gone much further forwards then he ever imagined. It made him feel both excited and honestly terrified at his own power. How could he come so far without even realising it?

The silence dragged on, neither wanting to break the fragile composure they currently had.

Thankfully it wasn't left to the brothers to take the first step but instead a nurse who awkwardly knocked on the door carrying a tray of food.

“I hope i'm not interrupting” she cleared her throat shifting under the pair of eyes that snapped towards her. “The doctor said he will be needing something to eat.”

Diago looked to his brother, however fucking crazy this current situation was the ratinal part of his brain knew that whatever questions he had (and there was a shit ton of them) could wait until after Five didnt look like he was about ready to pass out.

Five stared at the woman not saying anything as she placed the tray onto his lap and shuffled out with an uncomfortable smile.

Diago sighed and leaned back in his chair waiting for Five to hurry up and eat so he could finally start to figure out what the hell was going on.

But as seconds ticked by Five remained perfectly still staring down at the boxes of food letting his dark hair fall onto his face.

At first Diago thought maybe being down a working arm was getting in the way and Five was just too stubborn to ask for help…

But then a cold realisation settled in his stomach as he watched Five cautiously poke the container of jello.

He didn't know what was in front of him and he didn't know it was safe.

Diago escaped his fucked up family home over a decade ago but it looked like Five had only just left.

Wordlessly Diago took one of the sandwiches from the tray and took a bite. He hated doing this, showing his own brother that it was safe to eat and that it wouldn't hurt him.

The worst part was that it was working, Five ripped off a small piece of the bread and began to slowly eat.

Bit by bit they continued this, with Diago tasting first then letting Five finish the rest until the tray was clean save for a few crumbs and empty packets.

Everything about Five was skittish and untrusting, it hurt to see honestly. In Diagos mind Five was always so big and strong abel to stand up to Dad when no one else could.

Now though, seeing him though his adult eyes Diago could see what he really was. And that was a worryingly skinny and hurt kid.

An abused child that wanted so desperately to protect his siblings that he made himself the target.

How could Diago ever think he willingly left them?

“What year is it?”

Five was so quiet Diago almost thought he imagined him talking.

“What?” he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat that had formed over the last few minutes.

“What year is it Number Two.” Five said louder this time.

“2018… October to be exact you just missed our birthday.”

Five nodded solomly “ok. Ok i can work with this, i just have to go back and…” he trailed off looking down at his damaged body.

His arm was currently in a white cast carefully held close to his chest in a sling. Diago assumed his leg was similarly encased in plaster hidden under the thin blanket.

Five swallowed nervously, his eyes skittering across his injuries finally realising just how bad it all is.

Diago decided now was the time to step in.

“Five what's the last thing you remember?”

He looked down at his free hand for a moment. “I was fighting with Dad at dinner, I wanted to time travel but he said I wasn't ready. I ran out and i did it… but then nothing.”

“Yeah that would be you getting hit by a car. You appeared in the middle of the road. Considering how fast the guy was going, you're lucky to be alive.”

“Lucky?” Five turned to glare at Diago in a way that sent flashes of nostalgia and also made him wonder how he ever found tiny Five intimidating.

“How can I be lucky when I'm stuck useless in bed until I can teleport again? Time travel was hard enough to do with all working limbs; it's practically impossible now.” Five pulled at his hair.

He was clearly frustrated but something felt off to Diago.

While he didnt understand time travel the same way his brother did then surely it didn't matter when he left he would end up exactly when he left. The only problem was Diago knew Five never made it back home.

Did that mean his brother is going to die here? Or maybe decide to stay?

He knew which he would prefer, even without the morbid possibility Diago would want him to stay, Reginald was a monster and Five was his favourite punching bag.

It was something Diago never really noticed until his brother was gone and that buffer zone they grew up with was ripped away.

Diago took a deep calming breath “look, like it or not you're stuck here for a while. You can either mope around the whole time or enjoy the future. You can even stay with me so you don't have to deal with Dad.”

Fives brow creased “you don't live at home anymore?”

“Five im almost 30, only Luthers stayed at home and even he ended up leaving a few years ago.” Diago rolled his eyes watching as the wheels in Fives head turned.

“Who’s Luther?” He asked confused.

Shit. Diago compleatly forgot about the name thing.

“Mom gave us normal names as a 16th birthday gift, One is Luther I’m Diago, Three is Allison, Four is Klaus, Six wa- is Ben and Seven is Vanya.”

God that reminded him Five didn’t know about Ben.

How the hell was he supposed to tell him his brother died only a year after getting his name?

Thankfully he was saved from having to worry about it for the moment because Patch walked in carrying two large disposable cups of coffee.

“So you're awake then” she smiled thankfully saving Diago from explaining the fact Luther is living on the moon while he rents a boiler room.

Five glared at her “who are you?”

She placed the coffee down to remove her badge and show it to him “I'm a police officer, I was the one to find you and call Diago. Are you up to answering some questions?” She asked clearly, having no idea what she had just walked into.

“What kind of questions?” Five asked suspiciously. They had always been trained to distrust the police, to never tell them what was going on at home and well… Diago realised why once he left home and found it wasn't normal for a kid to be held underwater so long they realised they could breathe the stuff.

“I just want to know your name and if there's a parent or guardian i can call. I saw your tattoo but i still need to hear it from you so i can release you into Diego's care if you want.”

Diago had always been impressed with how she handled herself around victims.

Diago was all sharp edges and quick words never really bothering to comfort while he got information.

It wasn't that he was uncaring, he just always figured the best way to help someone was to get the bastard that hurt them in the first place.

Five just glared at her, his annoying stubborn streak flaring up at the worst possible moment.

“His names Five and he is my brother” Diago supplied, earning the glare turned on him instead for his betrayal.

“Five as in…”

“Yeah one and same. Look Patch I need you to do something for me. You need to make this case disappear, don't let the driver report anything and don’t leave a paper trail” Diago asked standing up, taking the cups from her and placing them down on the bow empty seat and leading her away to the corner of the room.

“Dad is well connected and richer than God, if he finds out Five is here he will take him legal or not”

“I can’t just make the kid disappear” she replied chewing her lip as she glanced over at Five watching them with annoyance. “I’ll keep the tattoo quiet but anything else is a crime.”

Diago smiled, honestly it was more then he was expecting “thanks, I owe you one.”

“By my count it’s more like ten” she snarked back lightly punching him in the shoulder.

As her touch lingered on his arm Diago couldn’t help but wonder if something was still there.

If he could just tell her he still loves her maybe things could go back to how they were.

Then a empty chips packet hit the back of his head and the magical moment that held the potential to fix his relationship was broken.

“Quit talking about me like I’m not here!” Five snapped getting ammo ready for another throw.

Patch just chuckled “oh yeah you two are definitely related”.

She stepped away from Diago and sat on the edge of Fives bed handing him a business card. “If you need anything I want you to call me ok?”

Five turned the piece of card over in his hand sceptically “and who are you exactly?”

“I’m someone you can trust.”

Five responded with a snort.

This time Diago couldn’t blame him, Reginald had a way of taking any trust you had and step on it. There was a time in his life where he trusted his family with his life.

Then after Ben died and everyone left one by one that unbreakable bond he had relied on for years shattered.

Diago half expected Five to spit in her face, instead he looked to him and Diago realised that the relationship his siblings had was still alive and well to Five.

It was a new kind of terror to realise a child trusted you enough to look for your guidance, he wanted Diago to give him the right answer.

The Five who had always been so sure of himself, who would lead his siblings in a way no one else could, who in his arrogance acted like the smarter person in the room and everyone knew it was true… he wanted his big brother to tell him if it was safe to trust a stranger.

A police detective too.

It was weird, but then again what about this situation wasn’t?

As if he were just testing the waters Diago gave a tiny almost missable nod.

And just like that Five relaxed and tucked the card safely into his arms cast.

“While I can’t see myself ever needing help from the likes of you I’ll accept the offer” Five huffed.

“In case you're curious that’s the closest to thank you your gonna get”

Patch just chuckled again “well your very welcome then.” She glanced over at Diago before returning her attention to Five “I’ve got to head to work now but please might or day if you need help please call.”

This time Five only nodded which was good enough for Patch as she got up to leave.

“Oh Diago one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

She tossed him a small wad of cash that Diago didn’t want to know how she got.

“Buy the kid some clothes and some real food. And Raw eggs don’t count.”

With that she was gone leaving the brothers once again in an awkward silence.

“Your girlfriends weird.”

“Shut up” Diago grumbled as he went to find whoever the hell it was that could discharge Five and he could get him home.

——————

It took three separate doctors to finally find one that was willing to release Five into his care.

Even then there was a pile of paperwork to fill out.

It was worth it though as soon as he got Five into a wheelchair and saw him visibly relax upon finding out they were getting out of there.

As suspected his leg was in a cast up to the knee. Something Diago was almost thankful for considering the little shit tried to wheel himself away while he was wrapping things up with a nurse.

Something told him if he could walk there was no way he would have caught up with him.

It was an uncomfortable drive back, mainly because Five had to half lay out on the back seat to fit his leg in.

Even trying to hide the pain he was in Diago heard every sharp intake of breath he made anytime the car went over a bump in the road.

The worst part however was when they got to the boxing club and Five raised an eyebrow.

“The old man fall on hard times or something?”

“No, dad doesn’t pay for my apartment this is… temporary until I can find a better place”

Like he’d been telling himself for the last three years, he was just looking for something better…

“It looks like a dump” Five grunted as his chair was pushed over the threshold.

“Better than the academy let me tell you that”

Thankfully Five didn’t try to argue after that and instead focused on taking in the gym.

However the world had a way of always pissing on Diego's parade as Al spotted the two of him.

“Diego! You piece of shit you were supposed to mop the floors today!” He yelled scurrying over. He looked like he was about to co tinge when he saw Five.

“Who’s the kid.”

“The kid can talk.” Five growled.

“He’s my brother, I just picked him up from the hospital. Look I know it’s a lot to ask but do you mind if he stays a while. Just till I can set us up somewhere permanent.”

They both knew Diego wasn’t going anywhere. He had been saying the same line every couple months for years now.

“I’ll see if there’s another cot spare” he replied wavin them off.

Al didn’t know everything about Diego’s past, he made sure of that, but he knew his family life was bad.

If he wanted to put two and two together about why Diego was now bringing a never before mentioned younger brother home from the hospital he wasn’t about to stop him.

“Thanks Al.”

“Yeah yeah, just don’t forget to mop!”

Diego snorted. They both knew he had more important things to do now.

He wheeled Five into the boiler room choosing to ignore the multiple snarky comments of the places appearance, smell and overall shabbiness in favour of dumping him next to the bed.

“Bathrooms there, kitchen, tv and bed everywhere else”

“Nice to see the old man was wrong about us not needing him” Five mumbled.

God yet another thing Reginald has always held over their heads.

The idea that if they left they would have nothing and no one…

Was he really wrong on this one?

Hell if it weren’t for Patch and Al, Diego would have nothing but a box of cold pizza to offer Five.

“It might not be the Ritz but it’s warm and dry and far away from Dads bullshit.”

“I imagine Number three had a lot to say about the decor” Five said as he picked up a pair of discarded shorts and dropped them again in disgust.

“Allison hasn’t exactly seen the place.”

Five nodded “I guess if you're not planning to stay long you really don’t want to give her ammunition like this.”

Man this was going to be tough.

“Actually Five we don’t really-“

A knock at the door cut him off.

It couldn’t be Al already, but it’s not like anyone else would be there.

Cautiously he opened the door the find a ‘Hello’ tattooed hand shoved through the gap.

“Do me a favour dear brother mine and let me in. I’m in desperate need of a shower”

Diego groaned as he opened the door to Klaus “it really isn’t a good time right now.”

“It never is for you” Klaus teased as he shoved his way in “just because you like to spend your nights clad in leather and climbing through strangers windows”

“Seriously not now” Diego tried to block his view but it was too late.

The plastic bag filled with all Klaus owned in the world was dropped to the floor and his already pale skin dropped a few more shades.

“D-do you see a little number Five or is it just me?”

Five turned to see him blinking in surprise “number Four?”

Diego sighed, clamping a hand on Klaus’ shoulder “he’s here Klaus and he’s alive.”

#umbrella academy #number five #Diego Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #angst #fanfiction #part 2 #whump #time travel au

46 notes · View notes

mirrorfalls · 3 years

Text

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 6 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

So... The Naked Time. Probably gonna be another of those episodes where Roddenberry was in full “but on this planet they have a cultural taboo against pants!” mode, but that shouldn’t disqualify it on its own merits. And... wait, is this the legendary “Sorry, neither.” episode?

Let’s find out.

* And we open up on Space Antarctica, where Redshirt #23 gets himself infected with the Thing in record time. This is gonna be fun. ** But for Christ’s sake, guys. If a mannequin was all you could afford for the “woman”, couldn’t you have at least covered the face up with a sheet of snow or something?! * Spock in civvies cuts a surprisingly... fine figure. * Okay, now I’m starting to see why so many reviewers call the Spock-Bones banter in these early eps straight-up racism. * Alright, I know I’ve said this about half the preceding episodes, but this one’s plot looks genuinely foolproof. Kirk and co. need to perform a conflict-free - but still tricky - scientific mission, and an alien pathogen’s just happened to slip onboard. No leaps in the premise, no stupid B-plots to screw up the pacing. Let’s do this. * Peak Trek Aesthetic; using a punchcard to get your lunch out of the replicator. * See, Mr. RedBlueshirt? This is why we always use hand sanitizer after being outdoors. * Gotta say, this is pretty well-written “madness” for a ‘60s pop-adventure show. Just take a guy’s lingering survivor’s guilt and dial it up to eleven. No random obsessions or nursery-rhyme chants or anything. * Guys, it’s a freaking butter knife. That thing couldn’t stab through a- ** Oops. * By the way - some people might consider it laughably cheap, but as something of an amateur germophobe I really like how the pathogen’s mostly depicted as this thing nobody can see but everyone can feel slithering over their hands. * “A valuable study. We may be seeing Earth's distant future.” This line seriously does not get enough attention in Spock retrospectives. * Somehow it never occurred to me that Sulu is the closest the bridge crew has to a jock. * “Bones, I want the impossible checked out too!” “Damn it, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a Scotsman!” ** Seriously, though - I like the general lesson here, that out on the Frontier you can do every procedure and double-check right and still get fucked over, because that’s what it means to explore the Unknown. * Bones why do you have bottles of Lysol just lying around in sickbay * Oh yeah. Shirtless Sulu o’clock. ** And now, The Line. Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting Nichols to sound quite that... schoolgirlish saying it. * ... do you guys not have security on the bridge or ** Okay, I’ll never say no to a Nerve Pinch, but you’d think there’d be at least one Phaser around... * Ooh, 20 minutes before the gravity whatchamacallit flambes the entire ship. Now that’s pacing. * This guy seems a little too conveniently (and maliciously) competent next to the other infected crewmembers... I doubt they’re going to go with a “Oh, he was faking it the whole time, did everything of his own free will!” twist at the end, so here’s hoping he won’t be the antagonist for the entire rest of the ep. ** OTOH, Scotty gets to be a hands-on MVP for a change, and who doesn’t love that? * Spock, let’s have some more of those Nerve Pinches, chop chop! ** At this point you can count every “Jesus, I’m retiring from this show the first chance I get” line on poor Rand’s face. * Oh for the love of- Were you guys seriously examining Sulu without any protection?! * And now we’re throwing the nurse at Spock. Honestly, every face Nimoy makes here should be its own reaction gif. ** Ohhh, right, this is the Spock-cries episode, too. Really should reread that anecdote sometime. * “I can't change the laws of physics!” That’s quitter talk, Scotty, and you know it. * Jesus, Bones, did you stick him with a needle or a branding iron?! ** Oh, so this is why so many recaps of this episode just talk about everyone being drunk... the pathogen is just water that’s evolved(?) to a different molecular form resembling booze? Sure, fine. ** Insert stock you’d-expect-an-Irishman-to-hold-his-drink-better line here ** (Also, I suppose the crew is lucky that nobody's the go-to-sleep kind of drunk.) * Ahh, our first taste of Spock backstory. Let’s have that good good angst. * Not that I mind a little violence between friends, Kirk, but are you sure you want Spock doing supercomputer-tier calculations while smashed out of his mind? * ... hm. On the one hand, Spock being (temporarily?) shocked back into sobriety on seeing Kirk succumbing is both emotionally touching and narratively efficient. On the other: more proof that when all else fails, all you can do is appeal to a Vulcan’s ego. * Wonder how big the Kirk/Enterprise tag on AO3 is... * Cheap religious symbolism ho! * Took ya long enough to get him an antidote, bud. * Well, that was quick. ** Uhhh, I’ll assume imploding engines are a good thing in this context. * Wait, are you serious? Time travel stuff in the last three minutes of the episode?! * Sooo... our heroes literally get a clean slate from everything that just happened. I guess they still have to live with the memories of it all, but really?

I’m really torn about this one. There’s only the slightest slip of a Lesson here (beyond “don’t take your fucking Hazmat suit off on an alien planet”, I guess), but it’s probably the series’ best-paced episode yet, with tangible stakes and unobtrusive comic relief... right up to those last three minutes, which throws all that beautiful buildup into a woodchipper. Deus ex Machina isn’t even a strong enough word to describe it - probably nothing is.

Ah, well. We’ve got solid proof that the writing team can build a solid start, if nothing else. One day they’ll stick the landing.

Next: In the main study of an exclusive private school in New York’s Westchester County, a strange, silent man sits motionless... what? Wrong Charlie X? C’mon, how different can they be?

#Lego Liveblogs Star Trek #Star Trek: The Original Series

2 notes · View notes

secret-engima · 4 years

Text

Random HCs for Some of My Verses

Future’s Blurry (the Past is a Trap) verse:

-Glaucus has no idea how he wound up with a pet mad scientist. He WENT there intending to kill Besithia, he DID. Instead he found himself with a mad scientist on his heels, complaining about not having a fancy lab anymore and needing it if he’s going to prove Glaucus wrong.

-Oh yeah, Glaucus thinks with a squint, somewhere in the whole “somehow not killing the scientist” (not that he COULD, Prompto had come from that man and if there was a chance ... well, he loved Prompto more than he hated Besithia, it would be worth the annoyance) Glaucus had said that Besithia wasn’t smart enough or skilled enough to be Really All That™. Besithia had immediately taken offense, forgetting all about his life being in danger in favor of his pride, and demanded HOW DARE. OF COURSE HE WAS.

-Glaucus had snorted something to the order of how if he was REALLY all that he would be able to make a cure/vaccine for the Scourge, not just piddle around infecting things with it and claiming to have done something NEW (the scourge infected everything by nature, essentially infecting machinery wasn’t new, it was just calculated stupidity).

-Glaucus thinks that might have been what led to his acquisition of a scientist actually. Besithia so insulted he’d been willing to defect from the empire that they both knew would never condone a vaccine for their precious Scourge just to prove Glaucus WRONG.

-At one point he has to stop and laugh hysterically over the fact that he just took out Niflheim’s R&D division at the kneecaps. By doing a slightly (SLIGHTLY) more adult version of Double Dog Daring their head scientist.

-There’s also the fact that, to get proper funding, housing, and equipment for his new pet scientist, Glaucus could no longer just subsist on bounties from Hunts and dragging Ardyn from hotel to hotel. No, he needed money, manpower, resources that couldn’t be tracked.

-Lucky for him, he was once Cor the Immortal, the guy in charge of busting illegal butts and then later in charge of the surviving population of humanity in the Long Night. He knew a thing or two about discreet resources and acquisition of funds.

-The Insomnia Underworld had no idea what hit it. It feels like one minute their going about their days, discreetly infighting between the families, laundering their illegal items, the next minute everything is being taken over like dominos by an icy-eyed TEENAGER that can’t seem to DIE no matter what is thrown at him.

-By the end of the year post getting his scientist, Glaucus had (unwillingly) re-taken his title of The Immortal and was the shadow king of the entire freaking Underworld of Insomnia and a good chunk of Lucis. Anyone who didn’t like his new rules of conduct were killed or kicked out and those who were smart enough to swear loyalty found themselves magically bound by their word (Glaucus had no idea how he pulled off that trick, he blamed the KoL and their shenanigans during the time travel). Glaucus then put some of the less scummy and more intelligent ones in charge and calmly swanned off to go back to running around the wilds taking on Hunts and blowing up Nif bases.

-The new Lieutenants in charge of the underworld on behalf of their new Underworld King all just ... kinda blinked at each other and silently asked “What Just Happened?”

-And that is how Cor/Glaucus ended up the reigning king of the Lucian underworld and Besithia got to play mad scientist in a hidden laboratory all Right Under King Mors’ Nose thank you and good night.

...

Risk the Fall (We Have Felt It All) verse:

-The others in the main cast of the first game get reborn too, don’t @ me.

-As we all know, Lightning is the new Crown Princess of Lucis and Hope is the new Crown Prince of Tenebrae, the others are also their own characters so to speak except for Snow and Serah but we’ll get back to them in a sec.

-Sazh is an Armaugh. He’s Weskham’s nephew and his new name is Sors. He’s three years older than Lightning this time around, but he STILL gets teased as the “Old Man” of the group, which he bears with good humor. He ends up being her Hand, just like Ignis is for Noctis.

-Fang and Vanille are reborn as half-sisters who look nothing alike. Fang is the elder of the two and just as Throw Hands as ever. She’s like- three-ish years younger than Lightning. Vanille is five years younger than Lightning. They don’t have the same mom, and only stumbled on each other by happenstance. They started by recognizing each other from their past life and then started comparing their current one and talking about it was funny that they both came from a fling rather than a marriage. Then they start talking about their respective moms (At least Vanille’s is dead I think? Who knows, but this way Fang gets to adopt Vanille and drag her home) and from there they talked about what little they know of their respective dads.

-And find out their descriptions of appearance and temperament described by their mothers match.

-Eerily so.

-“We’re sisters!” Vanille (who needs a new latin name btw) squeals in joy, throwing her arms around Fang, who just snorts dryly and says,

-“I swore that if I ever met ‘im, I’d stab him where the sun don’t shine. But since he gave me you ... I guess I’ll just give him a black eye. Maybe break an arm.”

-Far, far away in Insomnia, Cor pauses and reaches for his sword on instinct, sure for a moment that someone was plotting bodily harm against him. There is no one in the study but him, Regis, and Clarus however, so he shrugs it off a moment later. Probably just the nifs cursing him out for his latest mission or something.

-Snow and Serah come back as canon characters. Because I Said So.

-Luna is 8 years old when she tentatively creeps up to Zagreus/Hope, tears in her eyes, and softly asks “Hope” if she can see her sister.

-Zagreus stares at her in shock, then slowly kneels down to be eye level and whispers, “Serah?”

-She nods, blue eyes so much older than they were just yesterday before something caused her to remember, and Hope kisses her forehead before hurrying off to find his computer. Over Skype, Lightning and Serah cry for joy and sadness.

-“We’re not sisters this time,” pouts Lightning just a little.

-Serah smiles, sugar sweet and innocent, “I guess you’ll just have to hurry up and marry Hope so we can be sisters-in-law.” Both of the elder reincarnates choke on their spit while Luna laughs.

-Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the jungles of Galahd, Libertus tiredly puts ointment on Nyx’s cuts and scrapes while the grinning Ulric holds an ice pack to his black eye, “Just had to pick a fight, didn’t you,” mutters Lib, “always gotta be the Hero.”

-Nyx smiles, and Lib notices it’s that strange, far-off sad one he gets sometimes, the one that makes him look way too old and weary for his years, “I promised,” he says simply, an apology and unknowable explanation all in one. Libertus doesn’t ask WHO he promised, he knows Nyx won’t tell him. “I promised” has been his excuse since they could barely walk. Libertus isn’t sure he wants an answer at this point. Some things just aren’t for mortal men to know.

#Secret Engima Rambles #The Future's Blurry (the Past is Trap) verse #Risk the Fall (We Have Felt It All) verse #mwahahahaha

90 notes · View notes

neverlearnedtoread · 3 years

Text

King of Scars

⭐⭐⭐; me at any given moment in the second half of the book: leigh.......*sobbing* please........where are we

Oh?? 👌😉😏

incredible set-up! the first half was SO exciting and fun. every set-up was brimming with piping hot takes. court intrigue, power couple vibes, sneaking around / keeping up appearances interspersed with real feelings - bardugo set out a real feast of a story, that’s for sure

non-powered protagonist / POV in a magical setting. it’s one of my favourite tropes (i can pinpoint the origin of this preference back to one specific book in my childhood favourites)

badass women! need i say more

political intrigue (especially with the backdrop of a magical setting!)

No.. ❌🤢🤮

the author lost the thread SO HARD in the second....it really fell so flat after such a fantastic premise. im so disappointed 😭 i wanted so much and i got barely a crumb....please leigh, just another mouthful of that political intrigue....im begging ya......

im not that mad about the [spoilers] at the end of the story, but i am utterly befuddled by how it happened - and that’s not even taking into account how confused i am about the future direction of the story. bardugo, where? are? you? going?? it’s getting to the point i don’t fully trust she knows where she’ll end up either, and that’s dangerous

Nina’s story should have been a novella that came out before KoS. It would have been much more cohesive, and I could concentrate on Nina’s arc more on its own, and probably would’ve hyped up KoS that much more because of how these two stories are supposed to happen concurrently. Honestly, as interesting as Nina’s story was, I don’t have that much to say about it. It was good. I wish it was its own story. That’s about it.

Summary: Three years after the Ravkan Civil War, King Nikolai finds himself wrestling with an interesting problem. While his shrewd political machinations and barefaced charisma have kept Ravka from devolving into yet another conflict with one of its many enemies, he’s been losing ground in a battle with his own body as some uncontrollable curse repeatedly takes over his consciousness, causing him to wreck havoc across the nearby countryside night after night. After he nearly kills a child on one of his fun little jaunts as a giant bird-creature, he decides to take matters into his own hands and travel to a place of cleansing, which he hopes will be strong enough to purge the darkness. Things can only go downhill from there. (Oh yeah! And Nina is doing cool, sexy, creepy, important stuff somewhere else. That’s a thing too.)

Concept: 💭💭💭

I did not expect to pick up this book. I got into Six of Crows quite late, and I didn’t love the duology (it was good! i love inej. and everyone else is there too ig), so when I read the reviews (tbh I just listened to the KoS liveshow by the Papercut trio, but same thing) and they weren’t...that positive? i chalked it up to a cute cover i could admire from a distance whenever i visited a bookstore and moved on. But! Life moves in mysterious ways...and by mysterious I mean my friend listened to the audiobook and got me into it as well so we could share thoughts

Spoilers under the cut~

Execution: 💥💥💥💥 (first half) / 💥💥 (second half)

...And share thoughts we did! The first half of the book was *chef’s kiss* set-up so beautifully. I’ve never read the Grisha Trilogy, but I can feel that bardugo prefers to play fast and loose with her worldbuilding rules anyway, so there wasn’t much I couldn’t pick up using context clues. The characterization for two POVs I’d never read before, let alone even knew the backstory of beyond the vaguest inclination, was masterful! I immediately liked Nikolai and Zoya. Then we got to the second part, and I have never seen anything go downhill quite so effortlessly. More spectacularly? Yes. More quickly? Absolutely! Somehow, this was more like a slow slide into mediocrity, which was....worse. We just kept getting further and further away from the original intrigue, and setting up yet more moving pieces and unanswered questions, and, and - ! The book ended. I am so afraid that this has become a bigger beast than Bardugo can control, and that’s why she’s announcing a Six of Crows continuation - to pull it all together without admitting she may have lost the thread of this narrative.

Favourite Moment: while I loved where nina ended up at the end of the story (and i WISH we had had her story in a separate novella so i could fully appreciate the BDE), I think my favourite scene is when nikolai says to zoya ‘so what about that amplifier of yours that you were highly emotionally attached to’ and zoya not only tells him, but takes off her shirt to show him the scars without being directly asked. like damn! all he had to do was ask an unrelated question! shit! half the population of ravka would die to be as lucky as their king

Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤❤ (first half) / ❤❤ (second half)

I love it when a story hinges on two characters playing off of the other. There’s the banter, of course, but the real meat of this premise is always the character reveals and parallels you’re privy to, when you match two characters the audience has yet to learn more about against each other. It’s like...shadows and light! The interplay of similarities and differences! The intrigue of these characters reacting to any character reveals alongside the audience themselves in real-time! ‘Two sides of the same coin’-type narratives are always super fun, with or without shipping. And I think that’s the crux of the reason the second half of the book fell apart - despite being two out of three of the only humans stuck in that Other Place, and literally unable to go anywhere, Nikolai and Zoya simply....stopped talking to each other. And trusted two otherworldly god-like figures. Without question. 👀👀 HUH? HUH?? They’ve both been established to trust very few people - it took them three years to build themselves up to trusting each other, and they worked side-by-side to govern an entire country. But when it came down to the wire, you’re telling me they picked some random mythical dudes they had never believed existed? Make it make sense, Bardugo. They’re not even teenagers in-canon anymore, there’s no excuse for that kind of lapse in character consistency.

Favourite Character: i’m going to cheat and say that nikolai and zoya tie - their personalities were so compelling. if only they could have combined their two braincells to give me the fully realised character arc this book truly deserved :(( they could have had intertwined narrative parallels! the foil potential! cmon bardugo, am i gonna have to rewrite this book in my mind myself, or what?

#king of scars #leigh bardugo #KoS #nikolai duology #books #book review #booklover #bookblr #reading

1 note · View note

samsm2mstories · 5 years

Text

The Jacobs Labs. (Series)

The Jacobs Labs stories: The Body swap of Sam and Liam.

Please be aware this is a role play that I did with @liamstfstories and I edited it slightly to turn it into a joint story / roleplay style text. Enjoy! PS it’s my first story series I’ve ever written!

Part 1: The upcoming days to the trip to the life change

Main characters:

Sam was a typical British male aged 28 who was into his fitness and was toned but nothing major but the one major perk he had was his 10inch cock which was thick. Sam had a short buzzed dirty blond hair cut which you could relate to an army cut while having green eyes. He would of been a typical hot guy in the eyes of the British. You see Sam had a keen interest in travelling as he recently won a few thousands on the lottery but it wasn’t enough to retire from work. He went on a life changing trip to Australia where he used the money to get a new life started. He happens to meet his future boyfriend called Liam’

Liam is your typical Australian male aged 20, he had a skater style body which he had a six pack that could show through tight tees. He got brown eyes and brown hair which changes time to time as he follows the style trend in his town. You see Liam has this typical boyish personality which tends to make him act younger but you would call him a normal Australian. Full of energy and takes every challenge in a chilled manner. Liam met Sam at the coffee shop that he works for.

Their relationship went from a simple chat to Sam moving into Liam’s apartment within a week and it turns out that Sam with his mature attitude looked after Liam like his son. Sam loved how Liam personality was and always laughing at the silly things he does and say. Liam on the other hand loved Sam due to his large British cock and his smarts. Some reason these two were a perfect match for each other until Liam mentioned about a new company recently moved into Sydney that was based on advanced medical operations.

Jacobs Laboratories was a recently founded company based in Sydney that specialised in medical conditions and Mr Jacobs Williams was the founder. He had a special underground branch that was trialing operations that wasn’t approved by the government but because the company was respected by the city for it’s massive investments it got away with the hidden experiments.

Jacobs had a breakthrough with one it’s new machinery that can prevent any cells undamaged in an operation. This was managed by a breakthrough on a certain liquid that runs along side with human blood cells. Jacob needed to test trial some major operations when one day he went into the coffee shop where Liam works at. Jacobs saw Liam having a crazy conversation with Sam about their bodies and how amazing it is to experience each other from a different view. Jacob was indeed curious by these talks and took out a card with a message and number and left it in Liam’s jacket.

Later on that day Liam picked up the card and saw a message saying:

Dear Liam and Sam, I overheard your conversation earlier and heard you two was in need funds and was interested in exploring a new life. How does this sound? 100k for a successful swap of you two to swap bodies? If interested please call this number.

Liam was so excited by this and straight away he went home to speak to Sam and both of them was interested in this. Sam had a lot of doubts if this was true but decided to call Jacob's up to arrange a meeting in a few days time. Both Liam and Sam was joking about being each other in the upcoming days. Liam was so convinced he was going to have Sam’s body just to have his cock and smarts, he kept on winding Sam up about being the smart big cock guy in the apartment. Sam was thinking over about giving up everything he built up for a fresh start as Liam who not set himself out a career.

The day has finally come for them!

Liam was in bed just waking up after Sam’s phone alarm. Sam was already up in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

Liam got up and put on his white boxers and went into the kitchen to see Sam in some tight blue chino shorts making some smoothies for the day.

I turned around and saw Liam rubbing his eyes as he just woken up.

S: ‘Morning Liam I hope you are ready for today’ *looking at Liam’s golden tanned body knowing that will be me in a few hours

L: ‘Hey dude, I am totally ready to take that body of yours today’ *winking at Sam

S: ‘I made us some breakfast smoothies for today to keep us full, who knows what is going to happen today. *drinking my smoothie and Liam doing the same.

S: What are you going to wear today? *looking at your sexy body knowing that will be mine.

L: ‘uh i'm just wearing a red shirt and some black shorts’

S: ‘Typical you always putting on the clothes from the floor!’ *I put on some shorts, tee, snapback and black vans

L: ‘what now?’ *looking at Sam in a confused way

S: ‘You looking so damn sexy Liam! Sure you don't want to jerk off before we head to the labs?’ *sees Liam still not dealt with his morning wood

S: ‘Might be the last time you jerk that morning wood of yours!’ *chuckles knowing Liam can spew out a big load of cum every morning. Just amazes me that it soon could be me doing that!

L: Well if i did it now, u wouldnt have as great of a time when u take the body?’

S: Yeah true still you never will feel that cock again after we switch bodies!! Plus I be the one spewing that huge wood of yours! *smirks at Liam knowing I could be right on that!

Liam looked at me like he was using his brain cells for once. . .

L: ‘hmmmm’ *Looking at his morning wood giving it a rub

S: ‘I just want to make sure you don't regret it.’ *hoping he doesn’t actually come up with an idea as I want to have that for myself!

Liam smirked at me . . . What has he got to say I wonder??

L: Think u could give me one last blowjob? *smirking even bigger now

I stood there looking at him rubbing his cock knowing I have no option but to give him his final blowjob. I went towards him and gave it a rub and I could feel how bloody horny this guy was!

S: ‘Ok Liam since it the last time you going to experience that crazy wood of yours!’

I go on my knees right there looking up to my new body to be knowing I will be making Liam do this to me so he knows how much this annoys me sometimes.

Liam pulled down his boxers and said ‘Hell yeah!!!!’

I saw this decent sized cock pointing towards as I went to put my hands on it to give it a rub to get it pulsing before it goes into my mouth for a full on session. As I rubbed it, Liam moaned and smirking that he got me to give him his first blowjob in weeks. He was moaning more as I was rubbing his veins. I decided to pull down his foreskin to expose the red pulsing tip of his cock.

Liam was moaning like mad as I was giving him the best ever blowjob he had from me. All I heard was

‘MMMMM’

‘AGHHHHHHH’

‘MMMMMMMM’

L: ‘GODDDDDDD I might actually miss this body’

L ‘But oh well! Guess I still gonna be so good seeing it from the outside!’

He was saying this between his moans as I was sucking it real hard hitting at his prime spots

I was giving Liam the best ever sucking just to fully understand how his or soon to be mine new cock works. I can't believe how thick and big his cock is and how much cum he can spew from it. It tasted amazing with the shower gel he uses in it also. I just carrying on enjoying every moment of this blowjob knowing I soon be this handsome man!

A few minutes later:

I carried on sucking, just to hear Liam moans more and see his body gets all tensed up as he will about to release his loads.

L: ‘MMMM THIS FEELS SO GOOD’

Liam started to thrust his hips forward as he placed his hand on my head. He was thrusting more and more as his hands were on my head and they felt so soft!! I carry on sucking his cock like it's the last day on earth! My tongue touching the spots that sends Liam into a new deeper sexual level!

Suddenly Liam spoke!

L: ‘FUCK IM GONNA CUM!!!!!’

He pushes his hips further forwards as he grabbed my hair as tightly as possible while moaning louder!

L: ‘MMMMMMMMMM HERE IT COMES SAMMMMMMM!’

Within that last second he released many thick loads down my throat as I swallowed every drop of his cum knowing soon he will be tasting that in his mouth later on today!

Liam shouted out FUCK DUDE!!!

Every single drop of this tasty Aussie cum went down my throat. God he must eat or drink some sweet stuff considering that actually tasted really nice. I pull out and lick my lips. Then I looked at him!

S:"Fuck Liam you tasted so delicious like sweet nutmeg! Did you eat some nutty health bars or something today?" *smiling as that did taste really nice!

L: “Haha nah dude i don't eat much nuts at all, I guess I just taste that good normally!” *he sighed as he laid back onto the kitchen side

L: “Dude that was so good! I’m so glad we were able to do this before I leave this body!”

He stood up and pull up his shorts and headed towards the bathroom to clean himself up so he looked presentable for today’s trip and his last outing as himself.

I walked to the kitchen sink to wash my face and take a cold drink to wash the cum down into my stomach. I can't believe how much I just swallowed from him. All that healthy proteins, luckily I had the pleasure of having it and not some other guy! Liam spent a few minutes cleaning himself up in the bathroom.

Liam: I walk back out of the bathroom, grab my shirt, put it on and walk up behind up to Sam whilst he was at the sink. I press my bulge against ur ass as I leaned over u and grab myself some water. I rubbed my still hard cock on purpose and then said

“Lets go to this lab, I think I'm ready to swap”

S: I felt something pressed against my arse and god it was huge knowing it was Liam's after that blowjob. It still must of been really hard. I looked around and smiled when Liam said this but I went in for a last kiss! I turned to feel up Liam's body under his red top rubbing every part of him just to get one last feeling from it as an outsider. I was so lucky to have such a handsome friend like Liam who I cared for so much!.

Liam: *I started to blush and awkwardly smile at him and he continues to feel me up. He really knew how to turn me on even more by doing this!

“alright dude, im sure ur eager to get this stuff as your own, so let's go!”

I leant over Sam and grabbed his car keys

“ill drive today!”

Sam:

*I saw him grabbed the keys and was surprised by this as it was my car.

``you offered to drive for once, that is unbelievable from you Liam!" *laughs away as I put on my vans and grab the paperwork we signed before. I must admit I was feeling a bit nervous inside knowing everything will soon be new to me. Same time I was dead excited!

"Liam make sure you got the right keys!" *knowing he picked up the wrong keys as he always does!

I looked behind knowing soon that apartment will be mine and everything in there will belong to me as I will be coming home as a new man! I chuckled as I waiting to see Liam reaction when he has the wrong keys

Liam:

I was walking towards the car and soon realised that I had the wrong keys.

‘Oops I DID grab the wrong keys!”

I quickly drop them back down and proceeded to grab the right ones “every single time!” I mutted to myself. I laughed as I proceeded to check sam out and relish in the fact that soon i'll have his body!

S: I laughed loudly as Liam walked back towards the car after grabbing the right keys

L: ‘‘alright dude let's get out of here!” I started to walk out the door as sam follows, I turn back around to take in the apartment one last time, knowing I would be back here soon but not as myself*

S: ‘‘I really hope I don't get that key habit of yours! I swear you do it on purpose sometimes just to check yourself in the mirror!" I looked at Liam and smiles nervously knowing that would be a bad habit to have!

"You looking abit nervous today Liam, what bothering you? I happy to talk stuff out first before we go in? I sure you got some questions going around in your mind?" I was holding Liam's hand to reassure him to be truthful. I looked deeply into his eyes waiting for a reply. . .

L: ah I don't really have any worries at all, I think I look nervous because it's just a very big decision, but I made my decision a long time ago didn't i!” looking at Sam in his eyes.

We both started to walk down the path to the car and we hopped in! I looked at Sam when he was strapping himself in.

“Alright let's do this! you excited?”

S: "Wait a minute Liam, you got something bothering you! I know that tone of voice when I hear it." *places my hand to stop you starting the engine up "Come on tell me Liam as I don't us to have any regrets now!"

S: "Is it because I am more on the twink build side of things? *lifts my top up to show you the secret I have been working on. You see Liam I have been building this six pack up for you, it's bloody tough but I am trying to make it easier for you! Remember you soon will be the smart one and be loaded up with my cash!"

L: “dude seriously i have no regrets or worries! it's gonna be so good! im so excited to do this! it's gonna be so fun!” *I pull ur hand off and start the car up* “do u know the address? I just realised I have no idea where im going” *I laugh*

“dude we’re seriously gonna be fine! im sure this experiment will go perfectly and we will live happily in our new bodies!”

S: "I hope you are 110% sure about this as I be so gutted if you did have doubts and I feel them as you!"

"Here give me a second!" *set up the sat nav on your phone. "Can you press your finger on it?" *waits for you to unlock it and I get it sorted for you

"You know I am excited about this swap as we have money to finally buy a bigger apartment and live an easier life! I wonder though what traits we will have as each other! I do not want that key trait of yours!!!" *chuckles away

L: *I grab the phone and unlock it and give it back

“dude this swap is going to be so fun! we’re gonna have a great life from now own! lets do this!”

S: "Fact we going to become each other will be so weird, just remember to take it easy Liam as you will be learning everything over again. No rushing into anything as we don't want to burn our brains!"

"Let's go Liam!"

L: “Alright!” *I start the car up and we start to drive to the labs* God this is going to be so good! I think to myself, ive always wanted to be sam and now it's HAPPENING!!!

S: "God I am going to be talking like an Aussie soon! That's going to be so bloody weird Liam!"

*laughs as I watch you drive!

"This makes a change of you driving for once Liam! You always try and bottle out of driving and get away with it!!"

*I can't actually believe we are on our way to the labs and soon will be living in each other's bodies. I am petrified at the thought of having Liam's little dumb moments but so damn excited about having his body and looks. He is so damn sexy!!!!

L: “well soon i'm gonna be you which means ill be driving way more! so i thought id get used to it now!” *I start to slow down and pull into the car park* *here it goes! in a couple more minutes, I am finally gonna be sam! we are going to swap lives!*

“alright sam, let's do this!”

*I smile at you as i get out of his, soon to be MY car*

S: "Let's go in and get this going Liam! In a few hours we are going to be with each other forever!" *feels a tent in my tight beige chino shorts

L: *I look down at my soon to be dick, smile, and place my hand on it* “someones a bit excited? shall I return the favour?”

Sam and Liam walks into The Jacobs Labs which has been recently refurbished to meet the standard level you see in the cities.

S: *I hold your hand tightly as we walk through the entrance of this newly refurbished skyscraper. As we walked through we saw a large white room with the polished white floor tiles that you could slightly see your reflection. The reception room had a very small humming tune playing in the background.

"Really Liam, I swear your are dumb as fuck sometimes" *chuckles

"Fuck I might have that trait also" *looks at you and does a dumb face!

*we walk towards the receptionist and she greeted us.

L: * she seemed nice and started to talk us through the procedure, I started to feel my dick get hard again! God, I think to myself, I better leave that to sam when he wakes up as me! he’d love that’*

Receptionist stands as (R)

R: Good Morning Liam and Sam. We were expecting you a little later but as it's quiet shall we start by checking your paperwork from the pre-agreement and your passports as idenity and protection reasons?

S: *I talk first*

"Good morning Kelly, thanks for the warm welcome and here are the paperwork and our passports" *looks at Liam who has the folder with him

R: "That a strong British accent you got there Sam?" *she blushes when she says that

L: “oh right! yes i have those!” *I quickly reach down and grab the folder out of my bag* “here it is kelly!” *I hand her the folder*

“I hope this is all u need!”

“sam and I are very excited for this experiment and hope that everything goes well”

R: "Hey Liam!!! You seem really excited today and must I say you looking really good today!" *checks everything over and makes a call. "Doctor Jacobs will be waiting for you two. Take this tablet as it will lead you through the building and give you access to the lifts. Oh please be careful and good luck with the protein experiment. I hope those powders will become a huge hit on you two!"

S: "Thanks for that Kelly, I hope the protein shakes will give me more muscles! Liam shall we proceed to meeting Doctor Jacobs?"

*looks at you and hope you don't mention about the swapping*

L: *I take the tablet from her hands and thank her* “haha SAM u have plenty of muscles!” “but yup let's go meet this doctor!”

*i look down at the tablet and start following its directions* “come on!”

S: "Liam you nearly slipped up buddy! I can't believe this is happening!" *smiles

*As I walked along, I could sense the excitement between us about this swapping experience or procedure. Same time I qas praying to God that nothing will happen. We was walking down a corridor and it was like the reception with it blossomed while tiles. I looked at Liam and smiled. "Not long left now Liam!"

*I knew that will cause Liam's cock to tent in his black sporty shorts*

*we were only steps away from reaching Dr Jacobs offices.*

L: “Dude this is gonna be so cool!” I say excitedly as I look at you. *I notice u looking down at my dick and I smile* “this will be yours in a second!” I say as I patted my dick

S: "Yeah I know Liam, it's going to be an interesting moment!" *grabs your cock and squeezes it*

"How much longer Liam" *looking at the tablet

L: *I look down at the tablet, stop walking and smile at you* “alright! here we are sam! lets do this!” *I grab the door handle and smile at you before pushing it open*

*I gesture for u to enter the roomfirst*

S: *Knocks on the door and Dr Jacobs welcomes us

Doctor Jacobs stands as (DR)

DR: Ahhhh you both arrived! Pleased to meet you both! *offers his hand to Liam first

L: *I shake enthusiastically* “good to meet u too!*

DR: "So Liam you ready to become your best friend Sam here?"

*I shakes Sam's hand also*

S: "Nice to meet you Mr Jacobs and I think we are both ready to talk about the surgery and deal we have in place.

"I am nervous about the surgery as this is going to unknown to us both."

DR: "please both of you sit down so we can go over the formalities." *offers us two chairs at his desk

*we both go over and sit down in the chairs* L: “alright, so what's gonna happen here?” I ask as I hand over the tablet and our documents with our credentials

“how long will this take etc?”

DR: "The operation machinery is all ready to go and the surgery will take a few hours but you won't feel a thing. Our technology is that advanced that there will be no scarring at all but due to the nature of the stress of the transfer that this will be a one way transfer. If this all is successful you will have your money deposited and be allowed to live your new life, remember when you sign these paperwork nobody will ever know about this experiment.

DR: Here is three pieces of contracts you must sign each. *passes them to us

S: "Are you ready for this Liam?" *gives you the pen first*

L: “alright let's do this!” I say excitedly as i grab the pen from ur hands

*I quickly sign off the paper and pass it over to u*

“alright im all done and ready, what now?”

S: "Ohhh here it goes!" *signs the paperwork

DR: "Great please come with me to the two rooms!" *shows us two doors with our names on them but the rooms are connected to the main operation room

S: *Looks at Liam and hugs him tightly*

L: “alright Dr!” *I stand up out of the chair and walk over to my door*

S: "I hope to see you soon brother, if anything happens just remember that I am so thankful and loved every moment we had!"

*cuddles you more*

L: “dude stop we’ll totally be fine! don't even worry!” I say as I pat u on the back “this is gonna be totally fine! let's do this!”

S: "Let's do this!!!"

*opens my door to see a bed and a chair*

DR: please take off your clothes

L: “oh boy okay!”

While in the other room Sam just entered.

S: ‘’Knowing Liam he will just strip off and leave his clothes on the floor screwed up*

*I fold my clothes and possessions neatly

In the other room which DR Jacobs and Liam are in.

*I started to strip of my clothes, I pull of my red t-shirt, slipping down my black shorts, pull of my socks and shoes and throw them all to the corner of the room* “let's do this!” I say as I shake my hips teasingly

*goes onto my bed and lays down

Doctor Jacobs proceeds to the other room to see Sam waiting on the bed and deals with him first.

DR: breath this gas in slowly Sam *places the gas over my mouth and I fall asleep

Doctor Jacobs finishes the first part of the swap on Sam and he goes back to the other room to see Liam.

DR: "Liam please stop touching your penis and lay on the bed, Sam going to be so aroused by your typical Australian personality and traits"

L: *I sigh loudly and go lay down on the bed. the doctor comes over and puts the gas mask over my mouth as well. I fell asleep.

Sam and Liam have both fallen asleep now and we soon see what happens in Part 2 which is coming soon.

132 notes · View notes

shrikeofficial · 4 years

Note

📌✨🏳️‍🌈🎥💎

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

TUC: I actually found out about tuc after finishing the hunger games trilogy when I was about 10 or 11. I loved that trilogy so I was just HUNGRY for more good books and I really hoped the author had written other series that could hook me. Of course I saw tuc was ~for kids~ and had giant talking animals so I almost didn’t give it a chance but um. IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DID. Bc this series is damn BRILLIANT. Wouldn’t unread it for anything!!! I love it so so much.

Hanako: just found it recently actually!!! Right after episode 1 aired. I saw the anime’s art style and was immediately enraptured. Decided I would watch it even if the story ended up sucking bc the art was so gorgeous (and hanako’s seiyuu is megumi ogata). TURNS OUT I love aidairo’s art style even more than the anime’s (but they’re both amazing don’t get me wrong) also the story is SSOOO GREAT AND THE CHARACTERS ARE AWESOME SO I WAS IN FOR SUCH A TREAT. I’m so lucky....

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

TUC: there are honestly so many things I love about TUC. The characters are so lovable and dynamic. The plot is engaging and paced well. The story integrates lots of dark, important and deep themes while also being innocent enough to be marketed as a children’s book. You WILL be shocked at how dark it gets, I will just let u know. It’s so memorable and really leaves a unique feeling in your mind. The ending is one that I can never quite forget. But I think it really ended perfectly for the point it was trying to get across. (As painful as it is.) I could go on and on. I love the blurred line between “good” and “evil” and the very ambiguous characters on each side. Who is the REAL villain of TUc? Well I have my own theories, but you’ll just have to read it and find out for yourself. (Also, I love the progression of Gregor and Luxa’s relationship. It is so sweet and soft and pure and very comforting for me, and has been since I read the books when I was 10. ;W; ❤️)

Hanako: (I was first drawn to this series by the art, so I gotta just say that I am OBSESSED with aidairo’s art style.)

But I stayed for characters I absolutely adore, (all of the main four are my kids and I would do anything for them), and a really fun plot full of wacky hijinks, some time travel, fun comedy. And of course, (my favorite), an overlying plot of darkness, murder, and tragedy. I love the mystery of hanako and his past. The way they tease u with little hints and set up foreshadowing of future chapters and revelations is just //chef’s kiss// I love the way comedy is integrated through the story, so while it gets progressively darker, you can still have brief moments of reprieve and humor. Overall I find myself tearing up in one way or another almost every chapter. It really hits hard, honestly.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

God I’ve got so many favorites I don’t even know how to choose. Also a lot of them are spoilers. So I’ll just try to pick moments from early on (like book 1 of tuc) to minimize that

TUC: Luxa’s entrance scene. Including getting out-smarted by a 2 year old.

When Luxa drinks the root beer “weapon”

Every instance of Gregor taunting Henry and Luxa. (I love him so much? He’s so realistic. I love that he has such a gentle heart but he WILL NOT let u mess with his friends and family. He can and will snark at u with deadly precision)

Honestly like every scene with Luxa in it. Luxa and Gregor slowly learning more about each other and coming to an understanding of each other’s differences? I.... love them so much ;;;

Speaking of, the scene where Luxa opens up about her trauma and Gregor thinks “he forgave her for everything in that moment. He even forgot why he needed to forgive her.” Why is he such a good boy? Anyway I’d do anything for them,

Hanako: hhdndndndmndhd like every moment? Uhhhh I love all of the moments when Hanako opens up about himself/his feelings. We need more of them.

Can’t say that one bc spoilers.... OR THAT ONE.... OKAY I GIVE UP JUST READ THE MANGA PLEASE

Also I love... hananene so like all their interactions make me tear up.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

TUC: I have SO MANY headcanons. But I’ll stick to a few. I love African American Gregor. I’ve also seen mixed race hcs for Gregor which are great too. Also Luxa has ADHD. I’m certain of this but I forgot what made me so certain. Just trust me on this tho

Hanako: My autistic Hanako hc is so important to me omg.... like I would go down with this hc

I have LOTS of headcanons ttho. About random things like Gregor’s amateur family band, Luxa’s hatred of airplanes, all Gregor’s overland friends infuriating Luxa with Rick rolls, and more

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

A lot of the ones I can think of have spoilers so I might skip out DJDNDNNDNCJC BUT

TUC: Luxa’s name comes from the word “lux” meaning “light” which is so coincidental bc she’s the light of my life. (Yeah I’ve made this joke like 20 times but it still hits for real)

Bats run into each other a lot, also, so u can just imagine Gregor and friends constantly crashing into other bats.

I lowkey wanted to call Chillie (stray cat I’m feeding) “ripred” but Chillie doesn’t have a very ripred-like personality tbh. I one day wanna have cats named Ripred and Twitchtip

Hanako: I can’t really think of any off the top of my head that aren’t spoilers IM SORRY. But my friend and I did come up with a whole warrior cats AU for hanako-kun so there’s a fun fact for u. Yeah we’re the most valid tbh

#spoilers #just in case!!!!#shrike shrieks #ask shrikey #ask games #thank u udonnn this saved me while i was on the plane

4 notes · View notes

doyouevenshipbr0 · 5 years

Text

gruvia fic: a song of ice and water

chapter 2

author's note: ok so. game of thr*nes AU. we'll see how it goes...???? idk rn im into it lmao. ok enjoyyyy<333

The dinner hall of Winterfell was bustling with people, all gathering to greet Juvia of Riverrun. The people of the north were known to be a little more on the wild side, so the party was rambunctious to say the least, and thankfully no one could hear the relentless rain outside due to all the noise.

Gray watched at the head table as his people laughed, drank, and ate to their heart's content. He felt a swell of pride as he gazed upon them. He knew they were technically not his yet, but they would be one day, and that was more than enough for him.

He looked over at his bride-to-be with reluctance, and felt slightly guilty from feeling disdain for her. Just as he looked with content among his people, he wished he could be fighting for them. He was sure she didn't want to be there just as much as him, but still, he couldn't help it.

Gray looked down at her plate and saw it was hardly touched, and she was staring out into the crowd of people with numbness in her eyes.

"Do you not like the food?" Gray asked. "We prepared lots of fish tonight, since it's a staple cuisine of The Riverlands."

Juvia jumped a bit, seeming to break from a daze. "Forgive me, My Lord. Juvia just feels a bit sick from all the traveling. Not very hungry." She forced a smile.

Gray curiously raised his brow, hearing her speak in the third person. "You can call me Gray."

"Oh." She blushed. "Alright, Gray." Her words seemed so empty and lifeless.

"Winterfell is beautiful." She said after a brief pause. "Juvia took a small walk through the courtyard."

"Why do you speak in third person?" Gray said crassly.

"My apologies, Gray. It's a childhood habit that seemed to stick." She apologized, as insincere as ever. Her face showed no emotion, just as her words, and she had yet to make eye contact with Gray.

He exhaled and stood from the table, quickly fed up. "Right, well, there's no use in forcing this god-awful small talk. Excuse me, Lady Juvia." Gray sarcastically bowed, rolled his eyes, and walked away, leaving Juvia wide-eyed, and it was the first bit of sincere emotion she'd shown since arriving at Winterfell.

Gray found a table nearby where Lyon sat. "Good gods, man, talking to her is lile pulling teeth." Gray slumped over in a seat and took a hefty swig of Lyon's wine.

Lyon looked at him with precarious eyes. "Uh, I don't think the Lord of Winterfell is supposed to leave the head table during the feast."

"The 'Lord of Winterfill' can do whatever the hell he wants." Gray growled.

"You won't be a very good lord with that attitude." Lyon snorted.

"Oh, quit the teasing, Lyon, I'm dying over there!" Gray shoved his head in between his hands. "It's blatantly obvious that neither of us want to be here with each other!"

"You've known her for six hours. Five of which you spent separately. I don't think you're exactly giving this a fair shot." Lyon tried his best to be a voice of reason.

"Maybe, but how am I supposed to give it a fair shot when we're practically destined to hate each other." He said, desperately.

"I'm sorry, do we have different definitions of 'marriage'? It's a symbol of love."

"Yeah, not arranged marriages. Those never go well, and history is to show for that." Gray combed the oils out of his hair with his fingers, bringing it back to its normal messy texture.

"So you've known her for an evening and you already hate her?" Lyon asked, trying his best to get Gray to see how dramatic he was being.

"Ergh!" Gray grunted with frustration. "No, I don't hate her! But I wouldn't say I like her either. Her father's the reason I'm stuck in this castle in the first place."

"Well, it's a good thing you're not marrying her father, then." Lyon gave a smug smirk.

"Quit being a smartass." Gray spat.

"Look," Lyon got lower to the table to match Gray. "Instead of sulking over here and throwing yourself a pity party, why don't you just give her a chance. You don't have to fall in love with her. No one's expecting that of you, trust me. But you can at least get along with one another. Maybe even become friends. Just make the best of what you have."

Gray paused to take in Lyon's words, but they didn't seem to work all that much. "I didn't really come over here for advice, ya know. Just wanted to steal your booze." Gray swiped Lyon's cup, downing the rest of the wine.

"You ass." Lyon rolled his eyes.

"That's Lord Ass, to you." Gray stood from the table.

"Whatever. Go back and talk with your beautiful bride before I snatch her up for myself." Lyon smirked.

Gray hit his arm before walking away. "Shut up."

As he made his way back to the table, he noticed Juvia wasn't there anymore. He stopped in his stride and curiously looked around the room, wondering where she could have possibly gone.

Juvia could have sworn the servant told her to make the first left- or- was it the second? Everything in that damned castle looked exactly the same, and it was all so big. She would be lucky if she didn't pee herself before finding a bathroom.

"Well, well, if it isn't The Rain Woman." Three guards made their way out from one of the halls.

"Good evening, My Lords." Juvia nodded. "Could one of you please escort me to a bathroom? Juvia's seemed to have lost her way." She forced another sweet grin, hoping to get kindness in return.

"You're to be the next Lady of Winterfell and you can't even find yourself a chamber pot?" The guards got closer, and she could smell wine masking them.

Juvia hummed a false chuckle. "Pardon, My Lords. Juvia just hasn't become familiar with the castle yet."

"Ya' know,'" The third guard spoke. "Winterfell doesn't get much rain."

Juvia was finding herself against a wall.

"You're right, Clayton." The first said. "So how the fuck is this place supposed to handle constant rain, 24/7?"

"Well," Juvia cleared her throat, trying her best to not let her nervousness show. "Riverrun adjusted just fine to it."

"I'm sure, My Lady, but Winterfell isn't known for bein' wet like where you're from." They were all closing in.

"So how are we supposed to get anything done with you floodin' this damn place? Everything will be thrown into chaos with you around." They were clearly not happy with Juvia being there.

"Sers," Juvia used her magic, and engulfed her hands in water, ready to use them as weapons, and they backed up a bit. "Juvia just wants to find the bathroom, and return to the feast. Juvia does not want any trouble." Her eyes were fierce, and she was ready for a fight if it was to happen.

"We know you're a fearsome little lady, but you're not in The Riverlands anymore. Soldiers of Winterfell won't go so easy on 'ya." All three guards propped up their hands, and used their magic to make swords of ice.

"Lord Fullbuster will not be happy if he finds his future wife hurt." Juvia said through gritted teeth.

"But, My Lady, he doesn't even want ya' here in the first place." The guard chuckled. "He wants to be fighting in the war, as he should. If anything, we'd be doing him a favor."

One of the guards swung his sword down at her, and Juvia had her arms more than ready to block it, but she felt a quick gust, and in the blink of an eye, Gray was standing in front of her, blocking the sword with his arm that was coated in ice.

"I'll be the one deciding whether I want her here or not. That's none of your concern." His eyes pierced right through the guard.

"My Lord-"

"And actually, come to think of it, I don't recall ordering any of my men to kill my wife." The guard finally put down his sword, and Gray's arm returned back to skin.

"She's a hindrance, My Lord! You know that just as much as me!"

"You know what I know? I know that an attempt to murder is not only a crime, but an attempt to muder a noblewoman, let alone a future noblewoman of Winterfell, is treason." His voice was just as sharp as his ice.

"My Lord-"

"And during times of war, I certainly don't want any traitors lurking in my castle." Juvia at that point had just realized Gray was using his free arm to shield her, and that arm remained there after all this time.

"Guards! Guards!" Gray shouted, and six men from other halls of the castle approached. "Throw these men into cells. I'll decide what to do with that after council with my advisors." Gray said simply. He wrapped an arm around Juvia and guided her away from the scene.

"Lord Fullbuster, wait! Please!" All the guards shouted, but Gray and Juvia could hear the sounds of them being taken away in the distance.

Once they turned another corner, Gray stopped and placed his hands on Juvia's shoulders, looking at her intently. "Are you hurt?"

"N-no, Gray-sama." Juvia's eyes were still wide. Not from the ambush, but for Gray's intervention.

"Gray-sama?" He questioned. "I told you, you don't have to call me any formalities."

"J-Juvia knows, but, well, it's out of respect. It feels right." She couldn't help a blush spread on her cheeks.

Gray shrugged. "If you say so." He began walking again, and Juvia followed right behind. "Anyway, I'm sorry." Gray muttered.

"You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault. Plus, Juvia could have certainly handled them, anyway."

"Yeah, I know. I've heard all the stories. It's just-- I dunno'-- I just wanted to help you. Didn't feel right to let you take them all on your own when I was right there and could easily put an end to it." He explained, piecing together his thought process.

Juvia couldn't help but stammer in her tracks a bit. No one ever really stood up for her before. At Riverrun, people always tried their best to steer clear of her. Everyone thought she was cursed, due to her rain, and she acquired the name "Rain Woman." She was like some urban legend, like it was a sin to even say her name. It wasn't her fault she was born with this dreaded curse, and she hated that it defined her life.

No one bothered to try to get close to her, not even her father. In her alone time, all she could do was train, so that was what she did. People knew she was strong, but what they didn't know was how lonely she always was, and how much she yearned for someone's care an affection.

"W-well," She blushed. "Thank you, Gray-sama."

Gray just responded with a shrug, but that was more than enough for Juvia.

As they were about to enter the feast once again, they passed a window, and it was quiet. Juvia never heard quiet like this before in her life. Was something wrong? Were her ears playing some sort of trick on her? She immediately stopped once they were at the window. It was dark, but still, what she was seeing and hearing was indisputable.

"What's wrong?" Gray realized she'd stopped and turned around.

"The rain." Her voice was airy, as the wind had just been completely knocked out if her. After the inital stun, and once she processed what she was about to stay, tears rushed to her eyes. It was silent. The outside world was silent. It was the best noise she'd ever heard in her life. She turned to Gray, teary-eyed and shocked.

She felt her throat close as thr words tried to come out, almost like her body was telling her to stop because it was too good to be true. Finally, she found her voice, even though it was almost a whisper.

"It stopped."

#doyouevenshipbr0 #gray x juvia #gruvia #juvia x gray #gruvia fanfic #fanfiction #gruvia fanfiction #fanfic #gruvia drabble #fairy tail #juvia #juvia lockser

71 notes · View notes

artisticallys · 5 years

Text

omg hey... what’s going awn ? i havent dont an intro in soooo long i dont even have anything fun or interesting to say about myself errrrrr my name is sam ! i use they/them pronouns we big chillin.... im real bad at answering messages but i get to them eventually i schwear. yep that’s all if anyone wants to plot or whateva just lmk okie ? there’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom before plots if u dont wanna read all this it’s a lot-_____- without further adieu may i present miss scout kang....

﹤𝙺𝙸𝙼 𝙲𝙷𝚄𝙽𝙶𝙷𝙰, 𝚂𝙷𝙴/𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello SCOUT KANG. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY TWO, how you're a GAME DEVELOPMENT major, and in fact.. how you KILLED YOUR TWIN BROTHER AT HIS REQUEST AND LIED TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT HIS PASSING AWAY TO STAY IN THEIR GOOD GRACES. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

ok so yeaaaaah her secret is kindve a lot ! we gone get there... but first i gotta discuss her childhood u kno ? set things up <3 scout was born to 2 vewy loving parents with a twin brother. there were complications in the pregnancy some medical shit i cba to research but basically her brother wasn’t getting all the nutrients he needed to develop with a good immune system. scout was born two minutes before him, he never let her forget it with his hag jokes and she never let him forget when it came to calling shotgun.

as i said her brother was born with an auto immune deficiency it left him in a place to get sick very, very often. almost anytime he caught the flu he was hospitalized and generally his life was lived through a glass case from the outside world. and oddly enough it made scout feel trapped too as he was her twin flame, they were the best of friends and wherever he was she wanted to be. there came a time where his health plummeted drastically, doctors weren’t sure he’d make it and the pressure of it all finally cracked down on their father

not being able to watch his own flesh and blood rot away in a hospital bed he took his chance to get out while he still could and vanished into the night never to be seen again. scout remembers hearing an argument between her parents before pretending to be asleep when he came into her room and gave her a final kiss on the forehead and secured her blankets about her body.

it was a shock, really, when her brother pulled through and was somehow stronger than ever. an elaborate hoax was curated by their mother but scout knew, and deep down she thought her brother knew too. but it’s hard to give life to such a grievous monster and so it stayed in a grave.

life went on, doctor and hospital visits became routine and her brother never let things get in the way of living his life. in high school they were quite the pair. mostly it consisted of conversations about where they wanted to run off to after graduation, who their dream spouse was ( he always wanted to marry the student body president while scout had dreams of marrying some degenerate *her brothers words* ), things theywanted to do before dying. they wrote that stuff down on an old study guide scout was using to cheat off of for ap chemistry....

which was something she did often as early middle school days, her mother planted the seed of her going to medical school. to find a way to help people like her brother and at first it was a welcomed idea, do good for people like the one she loved more than life. time went on though and the pressure to have a 4.0 to get into a good premed school with tuition help was mounting. it made dreams that had been forced upon her to morph into something ugly but there was no hopes of standing up to her mother, not when she was already looking forward to such a future. but scout didn’t have the best work ethic when she wasn’t really invested in something, she was smart yeah but that just... wouldn’t cut it and she found that out real fast

her scenes changed quickly during the summer of junior year. her brother had fallen incomprehensibly ill, worse than she had ever seen him and the fear she had as a child slowly crept back, licked up her neck and nested on her shoulders making a home there. reports came back soon enough and he was diagnosed with leukemia. at first it was manageable, some chemo and radiation should do the trick, they said. then it became bone marrow transplants and blood transfusions and fluid drips. she was the first to volunteer, obviously as his twin, for marrow transplants, blood, any organs he might need.

desperation came in the form of a crying mother after news that he wasn’t going to live past christmas came. it came to scout as her mother accused the doctors of knowing nothing and doing nothing for her son. and it lastly came to her brother when he had been going through these treatments for 2 years and he still could feel how his soul was rotting away. how he was just a carcass in a paper thin nightgown.

it was then he proposed the idea they travel and cross things off their bucket list and scout both ready to escape greyed walls and sterile affections as well as their small town agreed, readily. took every penny she earned from working, even opened up a gofundme for this trip and was lucky. things went well, so well in fact, that the pair forgot that half of them had one foot in the grave already.

until one day his pain became unbearable, too much for him to handle anymore, and he asked scout as she was helping him into bed after an attempt at leaving the house that day. it was hushed, whispered in shame and fear. had what he just said really happened? was the summer sun getting to be too much? it wasn’t until he had cleared his throat and said it with his chest, “i want you to kill me.”

call her wrong but she actually laughed. retracted from him with brows creased and a confused laugh slipping out. there’s no way he could be serious. but when he didn’t laugh too she knew he meant it and that’s when she knew she had a choice to make.

it took a week of pondering the thought before she came to the conclusion that she’d end her brothers suffering. they spent the next few days doing something that haunts scout to this day really: planning the best way for her to kill him. for her to end her twin flame.

their last night together was something memorable, spirits were shared and tears were shed. he left her with only 2 promises to keep. 1. never reveal to anyone that she ended his suffering and 2. to stop letting their mother decide scout’s life and future

she didn’t go to his funeral. didn’t want to replace what she had left of him with what was in that coffin, spent the night drinking homemade sangria and watched star trek. his 2 favorite things.

this obviously didnt go over well with her mother, went even worse when scout announced she had dropped from pre - med and planned on becoming a video game developer. she was called an embarrassment, a failure, and that she would end up nowhere. and for a while she believed it, still does.

she got really lucky though when the streaming community got more recognition and now she plays video games for a living and attends classes to make good games.

TL;DR

scout grew up w a really sick brother, their dad left, and scout basically became her brother’s keeper. was forced into studying shit she had no interest in and when her brother had enough suffering asked her to take his life, which she did. now she streams video games with hopes of making her own and somehow finding her mother’s love again.

𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑆 ?

got the songs it’s you & bang bang stuck in my head rn maybe some romance shit off theeeees? dunno...

dudes... some people who knew her AND her brother growing up like maybe they went to hs together idk maybe they’re like girl what ever even happened...

ex’s yupppp gimme

her bestest friend(s) maybe even shares her world w them u kno? im in it...

maybe something unrequited or like some sort of clueless sheet who knows!

frenemies...? like enemies that actually just have some weird tension they gotta get through :kissing:

literally anything u think scout would be good to fill like if u got any wcs?

OMGGG wait last one. i really want someone who her brother was in love with or like had feelings for and shit got crazayyyy after he died we can discuss

#bro this intro is CRACKEDDDD #sorry i included a tldr i felt it was too long but if u still read it all really smooch?#error.intro #my plots are kinda doodoo but that's fine i'll think of more i swear #ummmthats it yup bye

1 note · View note

kuriquinn · 7 years

Note

Hey Kuri. I just need a little life advice. How did you find your call in Teaching? I'm kinda struggling right now trying to find what I want to do with my life. Im going back to college soon but the subject I'm studying isn't what I'm interested in. I've tried to love it but its been difficult. I often times feel like a disappointment to my family because my siblings are all doing great and I feel like a loser not getting there yet.

Strap in, there, Anon, this’ll be a long one…

If I’m being honest, my call isn’t teaching - it’s writing. Even now, though I have a Big Girl Job and everything, which pays my bills and keeps my fur babies in food and toys, I consider my writing to be my real job. Even if, at the moment, it’s just writing fanfiction.

The first piece of advice I would give you for anything in your future is to do something you love. That way it will never be a chore and you will stick with it longer than five minutes.

Now, on the heel of that, the second piece of advice is: if you can’t pursue your passion, pursue something you don’t hate. And it might take you a while to figure out what that is.

I graduated high school with pretty decent grades, went to a good college and did well there (Liberal Arts), and I applied to university hoping to major in Creative Writing and Minor in German Language. My outside logic was: it would help me get into a writing field like journalism or translation. Inwardly, I figured I was just taking university courses while I was busy writing my novel and that before graduating I would be published and famous and rich.

Yeah, eighteen-year-old me was a bit of a naive idiot.

Cue life-experience:

My parents were kind of wary about the whole thing, they didn’t really believe I was doing a good thing, but it was my choice and they had to respect it. They knew what I didn’t, but would learn for myself. At the time I was also working in a bookstore, which while not my passion or anything, I actually enjoyed. Work never felt like work, and for minimum wage, that’s a good thing.

Flash forward to my first semester of university, in which I learned that a) my German skills were beyond what I could be taught at uni and I wouldn’t be able to take half of the courses I needed to fill my minor, so it was basically a waste of time to take and b) my Creative Writing classes basically centered around having a published author (and I use this term loosely to define a person who self-published one grungy, literary shock fiction and passed it off as literature) get up and talk about how to write. And not write actual good stories with decent plots and characters and such, but the gritty, sensory, detailed lyrical crap…and if you didn’t try to write exactly like that person, they flunked you.

So trying to follow my first passion didn’t exactly pan out.

I ended up switching my degree completely, majoring in Classical Civilisation and minoring in History. I figured, I love history, and I love research, maybe a degree in this could help me get a job in museum studies or as a researcher or something. The next two years passed quite nicely…and though my part-time bookstore job fell through because of crappy managers, I started to tutor a lot more (and my brother was in his last years of high school at this point, and needed my help getting through his classes) and I realised that I was actually pretty good at breaking down information and explaining it in different ways. Plus, I already had a lot of experience with learning difficulties due to my brother.

So, one year before I graduated, I get the bright idea to become a teacher. I had enough credits to switch majors, but the problem was, my university only offered Early Childhood Education…and while I dearly love little kids, more than five or six of them below the age of ten would probably drive me insane. I figured teenagers would be more mature.

(*pause* *waits for riotous laughter from Those Who Know Better*)

Anyhow, I had to apply to a whole new university program just to get into a high school teaching program. And that was the most miserable two years of my life, because teacher education is the most useless piece of trash degree you can take. You know when you learn? When they stick you in a school as a student teacher. I didn’t learn one thing from my second university degree except that sometimes the only way to move on to the next stage of your life is to sit through the boring shit and get a stupid piece of paper saying you sat through the boring shit.

And THEN…

I didn’t even get a job for another two years.

The thing people don’t tell you about university is that when you get out, there is almost no one hiring. The Baby Boomer generation is not retiring any time soon, the job market is flooded with so many newcomers that competition is fierce, and on top of that, your chances are reduces based on what field you go into. Science, Engineering, Computers, Medicine, Business and Law? Competition will be fierce, but you will definitely have a job at the end of your degree. Anything else? Unless you somehow become famous, every other job out there has a crappy percntage of hiring, and chances are you are going to have to get an average Joe job for a year or two before you actually get hired to do what you studied.

Me, I had one learning experience where I moved to England because there’s a huge demand for teachers (and learned why there’s a huge demand is because the school system there is complete shite), and then spent a year unemployed and basically acting as an unpaid domestic/caregiver because my mother was sick (I lived at home, though, so that’s why it worked out). I still tutored when I could, but I didn’t have as many clients as I had hoped for. Things were so bad at this point and I was so depressed I couldn’t even write…

I did finally get hired, but the way I did won’t make you feel better. I basically sent my resume to one of the schools where I did my field experience, telling them I was available for tutoring in the upcoming year. I got a call back (on my birthday) to see if I was interested in taking on an actual teaching job - they remembered me from my internship and remembered my brother (who once was a student there).

So I basically got the job because I knew someone.

And that’s the reality of it. You will not get a job (in certain fields, at least) unless you know someone. Networking and good interview skills are so important to getting hired these days, and your ability to be social (or fake being social) is key.

Even now, I’m not exactly secure in my job. As a teacher in the private sector, I don’t even have a contract. I literally spend every August sitting by the phone biting my nails hoping that they’re going to call me back for the year.

But it’s a foot in the door. You always have to think about it that way.

Contrast this to my brother - he finished high school, took a trade (auto mechanics), and had a job within a year. He now makes and will continue to make more in a year than what I will in two. He had his forever job at 19; I didn’t find mine until I was 27.

Now, if you’re still with me and I didn’t bore you with my life’s story, here’s the take away:

1. Pursue your passion. If you can make a living from it, you’re one of the lucky few. Keep doing you, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Friends, family or loved ones, it doesn’t matter what they think.

2. If you can’t pursue your passion (full time, at least), do something that you don’t hate. Something that you are good at, a job where you can show up to and do your work happily and then go home at the end of the day and not stress about. Again, if anyone is telling you to do something you hate, DON’T. In five years, you’ll be burnt out, stressed and miserable. It is so not worth it. And if this is an Average Joe Job like working in a bookstore? Fine. Do that. It gives you more time to pursue your actual passions, and looks good on a resume.

3. Get a trade. Seriously, if you put off university for a year to get a trade, like real estate or mechanics or electrician or something, you not only give yourself the ability to be hired sooner, you can also support yourself throughout your academic career - and for those of you facing a future of student loans, this is so important!

4. If you pursue higher education, be prepared to change your mind A LOT before you graduate. You might find your are more interested or better at a certain subject that you thought, or a complete loss. There is nothing wrong with changing your major or minor until you find the right fit, just make sure you get all your General Education courses out of the way first so that you have that leeway.

5. After graduating, unless you’re in certain career fields, be prepared not to have a job right away. Get an Average Joe Job to keep you going, keep sending out CVs and going to interviews, and just hang in there - you will eventually get there, even if it takes you a little longer than your friends. And network! Make sure you keep in contact with people who might be able to help you in your career.

6. If you have the money and means, travel. Because chances are you won’t have the chance to do it once you join the rat-race.

7. MOST IMPORTANT: Do not let stress take over your life. You MUST find a way to balance your life while you worry about school/career stuff. Go out with your friends, travel when you can (even if it’s just a day trip to a museum!), write or paint or play music or build models or code or binge watch your tv show of choice, or whatever it is you do for fun - make sure you do it every day. Because your brain needs a way to unwind from the not so pleasant adulty stuff.

Anyhow, that’s the advice Twenty-Nine-Year-Old-Present-Me would give Nineteen-Year-Old-Me on the eve of starting university. I don’t know if she’d listen to all of it, but I wish someone had told me all that. Especially the parts about not getting a job right away. I thought I was a humongous failure because I couldn’t find work, when the reality was, I was just one of thousands of people seeking employment in an uncertain economic environment.

So, on that note, I hope that you managed to find some comfort or guidance in these words. Remember, you are not a disappointment and everyone moves at their own pace. Maybe you’re having a slow year and your siblings aren’t. Maybe next year you’ll be the one who has exciting new opportunities and they are stuck in a rut. Our lives are very static and you never know what’s coming around the next bend. Just keep on keeping on.

And personally? If I was struggling to love my college program? I would take a very good look at whether it was really for me.

Thanks for the ask :)

#advice #ask kuri #life lessons #the important thing is to breathe #career #school #passions #wish someone had told me this #the more you know

32 notes · View notes

latitudelongitudegratitudein · 7 years

Text

M.A.S.H at 27

M.A.S.H.

Mansion, Apartment, Shack and House

I don’t know any decent millennial that didn’t play MASH growing up, who wouldn’t want to predict their future on a piece of paper? In Mexico (I am a born and raised Mexican), we’d switch the apartment for a trash can because that can actually happen back home–but hey! It can happen here too, just substitute the trash can for a camping tent for two in your friendliest neighborhood, Skid Row. I remember one of the five times I’ve shit myself was when I wandered around Downtown LA in the company of me, myself and my shadow and ended up in Skid Row with 2% battery life on my phone. But, that’s a story for another day.

Back to Mexican MASH. You could end up living in a trash can, so the stakes were high as fuck. I mean we were talking about our future! Playing MASH, you find out who will you marry, the number of babies you’re gonna pop out, the kind of car you will drive, the pets you will have, and your job. Most importantly (drum roll please), the age you will be by the time you amass all those goodies. That number was everything–mine was 24. ALWAYS. I had that number engraved in my brain (finger and uterus), I was going to be happily married by 24, live in a mansion, drive a Lamborghini Diablo (yeah whatever, I was 10 years old, don’t judge me), have 7 kids, 10 dogs, be a vet/model, have the most handsome husband, and a big fucking rock on my finger to prove it. Everything by 24 because M.A.S.H said so.

Introducing Mr. and Mrs…insert record scratch. Nope that didn’t happen. I am 27 and have reached the point that the idea that I haven’t found the love of my life yet doesn’t traumatize me anymore. (I was severely traumatized, I’m talking pre-marital PTSD, as in started having panic attacks at 23 because I KNEW I had failed and would end up alone with 25 alley cats. I fucking hate cats) I wish I could time travel and tell my 20 year-old self “relax bitch” or even better, tell my 9 year old self, who is probably alive right now in some parallel universe, that MASH doesn’t mean anything. Being married at 24 doesn’t equal success and that I’d put my index finger over my luscious, prepubescent lips and tell her “hush my child”, you don’t have to worry. (If the butterfly effect is real, I may be saving her a lot of trouble).

I also remember I thinking that MASH was a commitment that I made to myself–a promise. If you know me, you know I keep all my promises. I promised I would walk down the aisle, filthy rich and happily ever after at 24. Period.

Growing up, I remember constantly thinking about being 24, I knew that in 2014 I would cross a magical threshold that would lead me straight to happiness, hand in hand with my Leonardo DiCaprio look alike husband. (That has changed too. I’m now looking for Ben Dalhaus’ doppelgänger).

In middle school and high school, I noticed my friends had superpowers, they could find boyfriends anywhere and for some reason I just didn’t. My superpower was being unboyfriendable. They were like Wonder Woman (secretly dating Superman) and I was like Catwoman doomed to remain in the shadows. (Fuck there go those cats again).

In my mind, I thought it was because I was not pretty and there was something wrong with me (The real reason being I never gave anyone a real chance and I was to busy making out with tons of boys to prove myself I wasn’t ugly. Don’t get me wrong I did it because that was super fun too). Those days turned me into the amazing kisser that I am today.

Sidebar: It’s funny how I see pictures of me at 14 and think, “ Nope you weren’t that bad. It was just the horrors of puberty passing by and there is nothing that a hairstylist and wax strip wouldn’t have fixed”. Mind you I slicked my hair back with shit tons of gel just like Michael Corleone from the Godfather (it was a thing at my school ‘kay).

See below a picture of me at and Lorenza at 13.

“ My glorious days as a member of the Corleone-Kahlo clan.”

10 years later, all “grown-up” playing with fireworks. Te amo Lorenz

I eventually took matters into my own hands when my mom told me I was too young to wax my eyebrows. She’d only let me wax my uni-brow. Yep, as a proud descendant of Frida Kahlo. By taking matters in my own hands I mean freeze framing on Elisha Cuthbert while watching The Girl Next Door and copying her eyebrow shape (just a piece of advice if you are a Latina and your eyebrows are bushy as fuck don’t go copying porn star eyebrows). Really you should just imagine Bert from Sesame Street shooting for Jessica Rabbit’s eyebrows. Not good. I managed to have shaped eyebrows–squares are a shape right?

So yeah the years went and I left my days as a member of the Corleone Clan behind by high school my hair style and eyebrows recovered.

One day at 18, I felt a little better about myself and actually thought “okay maybe I can land someone”. I tried to be open to meeting someone but no one really came. It’s as if I left the bread crumbs for the guy to find me and he decided he was going no carb. I mean boys came, but not looking for something serious. I guess those were the vibes I put out, but deep down I just wanted to be asked out on a nice date, and not lured onto the dance floor for a make out sesh.

At some point I asked one of my best friends with superpowers if she thought I’d be single forever. She didn’t so but explained that nightclubs weren’t the best place to meet the kind of boys I wanted to date. That always stuck with me.

I began to understand how the clubbing scene wasn’t such an ideal place to meet someone. It’s a hub of predators ready to pounce on their prey. Let me clarify by saying that I don’t think wanting to “get some” at a club makes you a bad person (coming from the biggest predator I know), it makes you a visibly horny person. So “aha” moment–meet boys in other places.

Days as a young 20 year-old predator. Very proud of my fake ID and my almost exposed private parts.

Ever since then, I thought I’d meet him at a museum, frolicking at the beach, or maybe at the library (but that would mean I’d have to physically get my books instead of using The Prime). Honestly, most guys I’ve seen in public libraries either look like they just pissed their pants, are part of a gang or are serial masturbators. (Look at me judging a book by its cover…I know, I know, I’m being superficial. I’m working on my flaws). However, I do spend a lot of time at Barnes and Noble fantasizing about some guy walking up to me and striking up a conversation about the book I’m reading. Afterwards, he pins me against the bookshelves and kisses me senseless.

In all my fantasies, the guys had to HURRY THE FUCK up because I needed my ring by 24. I was held hostage by the 10 pieces of paper I saved in my third grade pencil case that read M.A.S.H.

I had another dream where a guy would show up at my door professing his love for me, but I was usually awakened by Carl asking me if I’d ordered the thin crust Hawaiian pizza from Domino’s. He is the most stable relationship I’ve had in my life and I am totally okay with that.

Enough about my fantasies and Carl (he’s mine, so don’t think about luring him to your door with an order). My point is that throughout my early 20’s I felt like the guy who ended up with me would think his luck was mediocre at best, and I that should consider myself lucky that someone would actually see some value in me. But I held on to what MASH said–that I would have my huge ass mansion and shiny things. MASH kept me distracted from focusing on myself and my non-existent self-esteem (it’s kinda sad but true). I don’t believe that anymore and I am okay with being alone because I have the privilege of my own company and newsflash I am fun as fuck.

By 27:

* I am nowhere near having a rock adorn my finger that’s okay. For the longest time I tortured myself thinking I would end up alone because there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I kept blaming myself for not being pretty enough or good enough to have a boyfriend. But, that isn't true. It took a lot of work and I changed the perception about me. Im capable of many things, there isn't anything wrong with me and I am at peace.

* The asshole depression that stole my personality and started creeping on me at 23 (aka panic attacks) is finally gone. I am not scared anymore. The panic attacks no longer seize control of my mind or my body.

* Now I see that meeting the love of your life isn’t all there is to life. Loving yourself and your life is vital to your happiness.

* I don’t get frustrated when I see all my friends getting engaged, pregnant, or married. (Not that in the past I wasn’t fucking stoked to see my friends walk down the aisle, but there were moments when I felt like “ Omg. Catwoman, you have failed, what if it’s the same story from high school played over and over again? Everyone gets married while I get drunk and make out with their younger cousins in the bathroom” Yeah it sounds amazing but after a certain age a hot mess isn’t cute anymore. There’s an expiration date for that shit). I’m getting rid of my Catwoman costume (burn baby burn).

* Turns out 27 was the magic number after all. Three years after the deadline I break a lifelong promise to my 9-year-old self and I couldn’t be freer. I can see that I am a keeper and he will come when the time is right (I believe that to be true and not just a generic line people say to sound hopeful). I used to be super bitter about it. Today, I can only work on becoming a better person.

I am actually grateful for everything I have been through because it has taught me a lot about myself and now I know I am wiser and I will choose better things for me; Including a stable relationship with a nice bro ( Sorry Carl, it’s not you, it’s me)

Funny enough the definition of Mash is:

Reducing (Something) to a uniform mass by crushing it. Thanks Wikipedia. Yeah, I got owned and crushed by it.

So yeah, I recently ripped all the M.A.S.H’s I had saved for 16 years to pieces (I save everything and no I won’t have a separate entry for compulsive hoarding). I tore MASH a new one. And with that a new meaning came to light…

M.A.S.H. is just B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T

1 note · View note

i-am-mr-gay · 7 years

Note

everything you havent answered yet. time to kill that attention span :~)

HHHHH ALRIGHT, YOU WANTED THIS

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?

idk man im rly shitty when it comes to song

2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

YEA i used to have bunnies and we have chickens ever since i can remember

3.) have you ever been drunk?

yea

4.) have you ever tried drugs?

6.) have you ever made someone cry?

probably

7.) has someone ever made you cry?

yea

8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

fuck, when the realization hit all i could do was smile and never stop thinking about them, about a possible future of us together, all that dorky shit

9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?

the chicken fight me

11.) how many siblings do you have?

3 older brothers

12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

couldnt as in shouldnt? yes

13.) are you a good cook?

i wish :(

14.) what is your favorite tv show?

i dont rly watch any hfjkds

16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

i cant remember any but i know there are song ive cried to first time listening to them

17.) do you have a middle name?

18.) have you been out of your country?

yes a few times

19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?

hell yeah

21.) what is your favorite album?

i dont rly have a favorite albums bc there are too many good ones

22.) what is your dream car?

idc really tbh

23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?

24.) what is your favorite flower?

idk all are pretty

26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?

NOT IN THE LITERAL SENSE

28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

ONCE AGAIN NOT IN THE LITERAL SENSE

29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?

uhhh tbh happines but that isnt rly a physical thing either obv

31.) do you have a friend with benefits?

32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

i wouldnt mind one but id prefer a relationship tbh

33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?

either a cat or the richest person in the world so i can help everyone

34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

36.) how many concerts have you been to?

0 :(

37.) which concerts have you been to?

rude

38.) do you have a hidden talent?

not rly hidden ones i guess?? im kinda good at art i guess

39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?

let the stress eat me alive dont be like me kiddos

41.) how old would you date?

like as in which is the oldest age i would date? 18-19 maybe

42.) have you ever done something illegal?

uhh dont think so?

43.) what is your biggest fear?

being abandoned(TM)

44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

idk tbh

46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

well i wouldnt be the one to deny the existence of such

47.) do you believe in karma?

48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

loyality

49.) do looks matter?

not rly

51.) who is the last person you forgave?

my ex which im regretting now lmao

52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

cookies probably idk

53.) what languages can you speak besides english?

german and a bit russian

54.) ever been on a plane?

yes

56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

yes

57.) are there any friendships you regret?

yes

58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

not rly atm

59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?

yes

61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?

yes

62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

YEP FKJSA

63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?

64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

the weekend just ended hgfkjsh

66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

tbh i always wish if was talking to all of my friends bc they make me so happy

67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

being able to go invisible

68.) who is your favorite superhero?

dont rly have ones

69.) are you dirty minded?

why it that question number 69

71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?

i dont think ill ever want any tbh but if i will probably just one or two max

72.) who is your biggest OTP?

me/my crush

73.) what is your favorite food?

BURGER AND EVERYTHING INDIAN TBH

74.) do you want to be married one day?

i think

76.) do you drink enough water daily?

hahah not even nearly

77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?

no :(

78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

hell yea

79.) how many best friends do you have?

some

81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?

HKJFAHJK YEAH

82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

idk i hope so

83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?

norway

84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

bad, worse, worst

86.) what is your favorite season and why?

winter bc everything looks so pretty and bugs are fucking dead

87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?

yea :(

88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

yes, the euphonium

89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?

doing it a lot

91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?

yea

92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

can i be korra to get some sweet asami pusspuss or vica versa

93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why?

lmao u wont believe me how little i care about celebreties

94.) are you outgoing?

idk maybe

96.) are you a good flirt?

HFJKDAH I WISH

97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?

yes

98.) which planet is your favorite?

honestly im too tired to ask any of these questions at this point

99.) are you superstitious?

101.) are you a good kisser

i hope so but im getting the feeling that im not hjksd

102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

yes. all of them. lov u

#see fucker i made it #ily though #ask meme #plastic-neutered-numb

0 notes

themoneybuff-blog · 6 years

Text

Case study: Starting with less than zero

I am not a trained financial expert. Im not an accountant, Im not a financial planner, and Im not a stock broker. Whats more, Ive made many many money mistakes on my own financial journey. As a result, Ive always been reluctant to sit down with people and go over their budgets. That seems to be changing. In March, I spent a couple of hours talking with a friend about her financial situation. A few days ago, another friend asked if Id be willing to meet with him in the near future to puzzle through his budget woes. And yesterday, I took three hours to chat about money with my friends Wally and Jodie. As always, Ive changed names and certain identifying features in the story that follows. Unless I have explicit permission to share details, I do my best to protect peoples privacy when I write about their intimate financial lives. Wally and Jodie have recently begun dating. Hes in his early forties (and recently divorced); shes in her late twenties. They both work in food service, and have done so all of their lives. Their trouble and the reason they asked me for help is that they cannot seem to make ends meet. They work hard but never have anything to show for it. In fact, they feel like theyre falling further and further behind. Can you help us? Wally and Jodie asked. I can try, I said. Lets look at your numbers. An Income Problem To start, I said, lets look at how much youre bringing in. Thats part of the problem, Jodie said. We dont have a fixed income. Because most of our money comes from tips, we cant predict how much were going to make from one month to the next. Right, said Wally. And it doesnt help that our hours are irregular. We both work at several different restaurants. Some pay better than others. Plus, there are days when you wont have any customers. When that happens, youre sent home early with nothing to show for it. Well, how much would you say you make on average? I asked. Wally and Jodie made some calculations. I make maybe $1400 per month, Wally said. On a good month, Ill make $1700. And Jodie makes another $1500. These numbers are after taxes. Jodie nodded. But we each just picked up a shift at a new restaurant. That should give us each maybe $500 extra each month. Thats great, I said, jotting down numbers in my notebook. But I dont like looking at potential numbers. I learned the hard way that when you budget based on future raises, bonuses, or other expected sources of income, you can get into real trouble. Obviously, you hope that extra money comes through, and when it does, you can apply it to your budget. Until then, though, its best to ignore it. I thought for a moment. My first impression before we even look at your spending is that youre not making enough money. Youre making less than $3000 per month combined. We should brainstorm some ways you can earn more. Starting with Less than Zero I turned a page in my notebook. Now, lets talk about how much youre spending. Thats the problem, Jodie said. We spend exactly what we bring in, no matter how much we bring in. That means theres never enough to catch up on our debts some of which were behind on. What are your biggest expenses? I asked. Well, our apartment costs $900 per month but itll go up to $950 pretty soon, Wally said. Not bad, I said. Thats actually a great price for Portland. And its a reasonable amount based on your income. I explained how the average American household spends one-third of its income on housing; I advocate aiming for 25% or less. Food costs money, Jodie said. We budget about $100 per week for groceries, but thats just bare bones stuff, you know? I have a car payment, Wally said. In fact, thats one of our biggest problems. I took out the loan when I was married. My ex-wife and I are both on the loan. It seemed reasonable at the time. Now, though, its a pain in the ass. I owe $12,500 on the car and payments are $300 per month. To make matters worse, Im already a couple of months late on my payments. This is causing me a ton of stress. It makes Jodie stressed, it makes my ex-wife stressed, and it makes me stressed. Hm, I said. I dont have any experience with getting behind on payments. I used to live paycheck to paycheck, for sure, but I was lucky. I never had an accident or got sick, so I was always able to make payments on time. I dont know that I have any good advice for you about this problem, but maybe some of my readers at Get Rich Slowly could help. Wally nodded. Honestly, thats one of our biggest frustrations with the money advice weve found, said Jodie. All of it assumes that youre starting from zero. Or more than zero. What if youre starting with less than zero? What if youre deep in debt we have $35,000 in debt, just like you used to and what if youre behind on your payments? What then? All of the advice we read seems to be written by rich people for rich people. Yeah, I can see how that would be frustrating, I said. Like I said, I dont have experience starting at less than zero. I started at zero. I was deep in debt, but once I stopped spending, I already had a gap between my income and spending, so I could immediately start paying down debt. You two have some catching up to do. We need to figure out how you can play catch-up. A Mountain of Debt As we worked through their budget, I was mostly impressed. While Wally and Jodie arent bringing in a lot of money, theyre not spending a lot of money either. As with most budgets, they did have some discretionary items that could be cut, but not a ton of them. (Their biggest discretionary expense seems to be local travel. Theyre spending a couple of hundred dollars each month to visit family and/or have fun with friends.) My biggest concern was their debt. Between the two of them, they have $35,000 in debt: $12,500 for Wallys car, on which hes upside-down. (I wish I could just sell it and wipe out the debt, Wally said. But Id still owe about $3000 if we sold it.)$12,500 for Jodies student loans.$10,000 of miscellaneous debts, such as $500 they just spent to buy new tires after getting stranded because of a flat. To complicate matters, Wally and Jodie are going through several large life transitions right now. Wally is fresh from his divorce, they just moved in together, theyre both trying to find permanent full-time jobs, and theyre thinking about moving to a cheaper place to live. So, thats our situation, Jodie said. For good or ill, thats what we have. Where do we start? How do we get out of this mess? Well, I said, the good news is that I think youre both capable of working together to build a brighter future. The bad news is that its going to take some time. Its also going to require some sacrifices or what seem like sacrifices. If you want to fix this, youll have to do some stuff that sucks in the short term. But I want you to remember: Most of these sacrifices are temporary. Theyre only until you manage to get rid of the debt. I read what you wrote about growing up poor and having a scarcity mindset, Wally said. I totally relate. My family was poor too. Any time my parents got money, they spent it. They felt like they deserved to treat themselves because theyd gone without for so long. And looking at my own life, I see that I do that too. Thats a tough trap, I said. I totally relate. And I know first-hand how when youre poor, you feel like any windfall should be spent on fun. But if you want long-term happiness and financial stability, you have to decide that for a year or two youre not going to give in to that temptation. When you get a bonus or a raise or a big tip from a table at work, youll put that money toward your financial goals, not toward a nice dinner out. Once you get rid of the debt, you can have all sorts of nice dinners out. But until then, you have to agree to make a game of living on less. Growing the Gap I want you to focus on two things, I said. The first thing is the gap between your earning and spending. Right now, you dont have a gap. Youre spending exactly what you earn. Its impossible to save for the future or to catch up on your debt if you dont make more than you earn. So, to start, you two need to do whatever you can to increase this gap. I turned back to my notes on their budget. You should trim your budget in whatever way you can. You dont have a lot to trim, but if theres anything you can cut, cut it. I know family is important to you, but maybe you can explain what that youre trying to get out of debt and need to take some time off from the visits. Or maybe make the visits shorter a weekend instead of a week. And remember: Youre not cutting these things forever. Youre only cutting them until you get rid of your debt. Wally and Jodie nodded. Because you dont have a lot to cut from your budget, I continued, I think the best way for you to increase your gap is to find ways to earn more money. Right now, youre both working at two or three or four different restaurants. You only have a few hours per week at each place. None of the restaurants are that nice, so you dont make great tips. Honestly, I think this is where you should focus most of your attention. Wally sighed. Weve talked about that, he said. Wed love to earn more, but nothing ever seems to work out. One place says its going to give us more hours, but it never does. Jodie will pick up a shift a nice restaurant across town, but then its a logistical problem to get there. I get frustrated by how much time is involved with all of this. Thats a good point, I said, and I dont have a good solution. Actually, you know what Id do if I were you? Youre both great servers. You do good work. Your bosses like you, and so do your customers. If I were you, I wouldnt be looking for work at diners and cafes. In your spare time which I know isnt much you should be applying for work at upscale places. When you work at a nicer place, you dont do any more work, but you make a lot more money. Plus, you have the advantage of interacting with a different sort of clientele. If you build relationships with some of them, who knows where that could lead? When I was in college, I made money by waiting tables. I received several job offers from regular customers who were impressed by my work ethic. I suspect that if Wally and Jodie were in the right environment, theyd experience the same kind of thing. Another option is to pick up a few hours work doing something completely different, I suggested. Maybe Jodie could work in a womens clothing store. Maybe Wally could do yardwork or handyman stuff. I think we get where youre going with this, Jodie said. We need to increase the gap between our earning and spending. Because we dont spend a lot, the best way to do this is to earn more moneysomehow. Yep, I said. Thats the gist of it. Thats the first thing I think you should focus on. Taking Baby Steps The second thing you should tackle is your debt. I know you both have things you want to save for long term, but I want you to put those dreams on hold for now. You cant save for your future until you pay off your past. My dad tells me I should save first before tackling the debt, Jodie said. He says I should build six months of savings before anything else. What do you think? I disagree, I said. I think saving six months worth of expenses is a fine goal, and thats absolutely what you should aim for. But thats not where you should start. As you increase your gap between earning and spending because remember everything depends on this gap I think you should apply your money according to the Dave Ramsey plan. Here, Ill explain. I made a modified list of Dave Ramseys baby steps: Build a basic emergency fund of roughly $1000 (while continuing to make minimum payments on debt). My advice is to keep this fund in a brand-new bank account that isnt connected in any way to your other accounts, I said. You want to make this easy enough to access when you need it, but not so easy that you can just access the money on a whim.Pay off all debt using some version of the debt snowball method. When I was struggling, I couldnt figure out how to get out of debt, I said. Dave Ramseys version of the debt snowball helped me. In your case, Id use a slightly different version. Wallys car seems to be a huge psychological weight. You two need to prioritize that. After youve saved your emergency fund, throw as much money as you can at debt with everything extra you can find going to that car.Save an enhanced emergency fund equal to six months of normal expenses. After youre out of debt, beef up your savings. I know youll want to start saving for other goals right away, but dont. Take time to add some margin to your life. Youll be glad you did.Pursue long-term financial goals, such as traveling, moving to Idaho, or buying a motorcycle. You know whats awesome? I said. After youve taken time to pay off what you owe using the debt snowball, then you can immediately start building a wealth snowball. If youre paying $500 toward debt each month, then once that debt is gone you can immediately start saving $500 per month! That all sounds great, said Wally, but to be honest, J.D., in some ways your advice is just like the other advice. What do you mean? I asked. Well, its assuming that were starting from zero. But were not. Were starting with less than zero. I have an idea, said Jodie. What if we added a step zero to the baby steps? We could call it putting out the fires. Before we save the basic emergency fund, we could throw every dollar toward catching up on the car payments. I think thats fantastic, I said. In fact, I think thats really smart. If you can take some quick steps toward increasing your gap between earning and spending, then you should be able to get caught up on the car within a few months if nothing goes awry. Then you can pursue the plan Ive laid out. Wally nodded. I think that makes sense, he said. Final Thoughts After three hours on the back deck, I sent Wally and Jodie home with a handful of money books. I could tell their minds were bubbling with new ideas. (Is gas for the car a Want or a Need? Wally texted me yesterday afternoon. I love it!) I know that Wally feels frustrated. He hates being over forty yet feeling like hes in the same place he was when he was twenty. I get it. But heres the thing: He has to adopt a beginners mind. Start where you are, I wrote in January. Dont fret about the past or how other people are doing. Wally needs to accept that his situation is what it is and work to improve from that point. Knowing what I know about these two, I really do believe theyre capable of starting where they are starting with less than zero and destroying their debt in a relatively short period of time. It took me 37 months to get out of debt. (I started on 21 October 2004 and finished on 03 December 2007. Thats a total of 1139 days to pay off $35,196 in debt.) Progress was slow at first, but accelerated rapidly toward the end of that period. Wally and Jodie have exactly the same amount of debt as I did when I decided to become CFO of my own life. My challenge for them is this: Get out of debt quicker than I did. Do it in less than 1139 days. If we count yesterday as Day One, then 29 September 2021 would be day 1138. Wally and Jodie, my hope for you is that together you can be debt free by that date or sooner. What advice do you have for Wally and Jodie? What can they do to improve their financial situation? Did you start your financial journey with less than zero? Have you ever fallen behind on payments? If so, how did you handle it? How did you caught up? https://www.getrichslowly.org/less-than-zero/

0 notes