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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐞π₯𝐒𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘šπ‘– .
RUMI: sometimes it feels wrong though. to move on. to know that i get to do that. i get to continue living my life and finding someone who can make me happy and he. doesn't. he doesn't get that at all.
RUMI: im sorry. i dont want to make things worse for you.
RUMI: no dont feel bad. i think i let myself get swayed by everything too easily and i forget
RUMI: it's harder for you to do so.
SCOUT: yeah but you did give him that while he was here like he wanted to marry you :[ MXVNXVCXMCCNXNCX sorry this isn't really helping like i know it's not
SCOUT: i just feel like i cant stop talking about him once it's started
SCOUT: i feel like i need to move on too but get scared does that make sense? like im not allowed to move on even though he'd want me to guhhh
SCOUT: crazy how my whole life revolved around him and now i dunno how to act that's humiliating
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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐞π₯𝐒𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘šπ‘– .
RUMI: yeah...
RUMI: yeah im sorry.
RUMI: im trying to act as normal as i can. am i making it uncomfortable for you?
SCOUT: no no dont apologize. i think. idk. i think we are doing the best we can? considering...?
SCOUT: and not uncomfortable in the way you think like. i'm actually very happy you've been able to move on, you deserve that you know? i think. he would've wanted that especially for you
SCOUT: i think it just makes me uncomfortable in like a i feel out of place in a social setting without him i guess but it's always been like that
SCOUT: sorry im like dumping this on you i feel so bad
SCOUT: it's just nice to have someone from my life before like before all this bullshit with erebus and ashley you make things less scary
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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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* π‘œπ‘’π‘‘π‘”π‘œπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘π‘œ  ⋆ Β rumi .
SCOUT: man
SCOUT: seeing you a lot recently is like a lot of nostalgia
SCOUT: overwhelming too trying to act like i don't know you the way i do you know?
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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  omg hey... what’s going awnΒ  ?Β  i havent dont an intro in soooo long i dont even have anything fun or interesting to say about myself errrrrr my name is samΒ  !Β  i use they/them pronouns we big chillin.... im real bad at answering messages but i get to them eventually i schwear. yep that’s all if anyone wants to plot or whateva just lmk okieΒ  ?Β  there’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom before plots if u dont wanna read all this it’s a lot-_____-Β  without further adieu may i present miss scout kang....Β 
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﹀𝙺𝙸𝙼 π™²π™·πš„π™½π™Άπ™·π™°, πš‚π™·π™΄/π™·π™΄πš, π™²π™Έπš‚π™΅π™΄π™Όπ™°π™»π™΄οΉ₯; * - hello SCOUT KANG. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY TWO, how you're a GAME DEVELOPMENT major, Β and in fact.. how you KILLED YOUR TWIN BROTHER AT HIS REQUEST AND LIED TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT HIS PASSING AWAY TO STAY IN THEIR GOOD GRACES. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. πšƒπšπš„πšƒπ™· π™Ύπš π™³π™°πšπ™΄ ?
ok so yeaaaaah her secret is kindve a lot ! we gone get there... but first i gotta discuss her childhood u kno ? set things up <3 scout was born to 2 vewy loving parents with a twin brother. there were complications in the pregnancy some medical shit i cba to research but basically her brother wasn’t getting all the nutrients he needed to develop with a good immune system. scout was born two minutes before him, he never let her forget it with his hag jokes and she never let him forget when it came to calling shotgun.Β 
as i said her brother was born with an auto immune deficiency it left him in a place to get sick very, very often. almost anytime he caught the flu he was hospitalized and generally his life was lived through a glass case from the outside world. and oddly enough it made scout feel trapped too as he was her twin flame, they were the best of friends and wherever he was she wanted to be. there came a time where his health plummeted drastically, doctors weren’t sure he’d make it and the pressure of it all finally cracked down on their father
not being able to watch his own flesh and blood rot away in a hospital bed he took his chance to get out while he still could and vanished into the night never to be seen again. scout remembers hearing an argument between her parents before pretending to be asleep when he came into her room and gave her a final kiss on the forehead and secured her blankets about her body.
it was a shock, really, when her brother pulled through and was somehow stronger than ever. an elaborate hoax was curated by their mother but scout knew, and deep down she thought her brother knew too. but it’s hard to give life to such a grievous monster and so it stayed in a grave.
life went on, doctor and hospital visits became routine and her brother never let things get in the way of living his life. in high school they were quite the pair. mostly it consisted of conversations about where they wanted to run off to after graduation, who their dream spouse was ( he always wanted to marry the student body president while scout had dreams of marrying some degenerate *her brothers words* ), things theywanted to do before dying. they wrote that stuff down on an old study guide scout was using to cheat off of for ap chemistry....
which was something she did often as early middle school days, her mother planted the seed of her going to medical school. to find a way to help people like her brother and at first it was a welcomed idea, do good for people like the one she loved more than life. time went on though and the pressure to have a 4.0 to get into a good premed school with tuition help was mounting. it made dreams that had been forced upon her to morph into something ugly but there was no hopes of standing up to her mother, not when she was already looking forward to such a future. but scout didn’t have the best work ethic when she wasn’t really invested in something, she was smart yeah but that just... wouldn’t cut it and she found that out real fast
her scenes changed quickly during the summer of junior year. her brother had fallen incomprehensibly ill, worse than she had ever seen him and the fear she had as a child slowly crept back, licked up her neck and nested on her shoulders making a home there. reports came back soon enough and he was diagnosed with leukemia. at first it was manageable, some chemo and radiation should do the trick, they said. then it became bone marrow transplants and blood transfusions and fluid drips. she was the first to volunteer, obviously as his twin, for marrow transplants, blood, any organs he might need.Β 
desperation came in the form of a crying mother after news that he wasn’t going to live past christmas came. it came to scout as her mother accused the doctors of knowing nothing and doing nothing for her son. and it lastly came to her brother when he had been going through these treatments for 2 years and he still could feel how his soul was rotting away. how he was just a carcass in a paper thin nightgown.Β 
it was then he proposed the idea they travel and cross things off their bucket list and scout both ready to escape greyed walls and sterile affections as well as their small town agreed, readily. took every penny she earned from working, even opened up a gofundme for this trip and was lucky. things went well, so well in fact, that the pair forgot that half of them had one foot in the grave already.
until one day his pain became unbearable, too much for him to handle anymore, and he asked scout as she was helping him into bed after an attempt at leaving the house that day. it was hushed, whispered in shame and fear. had what he just said really happened? was the summer sun getting to be too much? it wasn’t until he had cleared his throat and said it with his chest,Β β€œi want you to kill me.” 
call her wrong but she actually laughed. retracted from him with brows creased and a confused laugh slipping out. there’s no way he could be serious. but when he didn’t laugh too she knew he meant it and that’s when she knew she had a choice to make.
it took a week of pondering the thought before she came to the conclusion that she’d end her brothers suffering. they spent the next few days doing something that haunts scout to this day really: planning the best way for her to kill him. for her to end her twin flame.Β 
their last night together was something memorable, spirits were shared and tears were shed. he left her with only 2 promises to keep.Β  Β 1. never reveal to anyone that she ended his suffering and 2. to stop letting their mother decide scout’s life and future
she didn’t go to his funeral. didn’t want to replace what she had left of him with what was in that coffin, spent the night drinking homemade sangria and watched star trek. his 2 favorite things.Β 
this obviously didnt go over well with her mother, went even worse when scout announced she had dropped from pre - med and planned on becoming a video game developer. she was called an embarrassment, a failure, and that she would end up nowhere. and for a while she believed it, still does.Β 
she got really lucky though when the streaming community got more recognition and now she plays video games for a living and attends classes to make good games.Β 
TL;DRΒ 
scout grew up w a really sick brother, their dad left, and scout basically became her brother’s keeper. was forced into studying shit she had no interest in and when her brother had enough suffering asked her to take his life, which she did. now she streams video games with hopes of making her own and somehow finding her mother’s love again.Β 
𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑆  ?Β 
got the songs it’s you & bang bang stuck in my head rn maybe some romance shit off theeeees? dunno...
dudes... some people who knew her AND her brother growing up like maybe they went to hs together idk maybe they’re like girl what ever even happened...
ex’s yupppp gimme
her bestest friend(s) maybe even shares her world w them u kno? im in it...
maybe something unrequited or like some sort of clueless sheet who knows!
frenemies...? like enemies that actually just have some weird tension they gotta get through :kissing:
literally anything u think scout would be good to fill like if u got any wcs?
OMGGG wait last one. i really want someone who her brother was in love with or like had feelings for and shit got crazayyyy after he died we can discuss
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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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Gotta Go ✩ Chungha (190103)
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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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LORA MATHIS
β€˜If There’s A Way Out I’ll Take It’ by @lora-mathis;
original photos and edit
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artisticallys Β· 5 years
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Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box Lullaby
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