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hoboal87 · 4 years

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Elastic Heart Chapter Fourteen

Title : Elastic Heart - Trials

Characters : Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Crowley, (background Y/N and Cordelia Y/L/N)

Pairing(s) : Sam x Reader

Summary : Sam and Dean work to complete the final Hell Trial.

Word Count : 6.4k

Warnings : cursing, show-level violence, angst, self-loathing, suicidal ideation, cliff-hanger ending

A/N : Series is mostly canon compliant, taking place during season 8/9. For the purposes of this fic Sam was born in '84 instead of '83.

A/N 2 : This chapter uses dialogue from episode 8x23 "Sacrifice"

beta'd by @deanwinchesterswitch

Elastic Heart Masterlist

Read Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen - Trials

Sam’s POV

Two days later, we meet Crowley in a junkyard; it takes every ounce of my willpower not to beat him to a pulp. I wanted to leave hex bags in Y/N’s apartment, but Dean insisted the anti-possession charms would be enough. We should’ve known that she wasn’t going to be safe, but when Crowley started going after people we saved, Cas had convinced us that Jody was next.

“It’s simple, really,” Crowley says, gesturing to the contract. “You stop the Trials and hand over the Demon tablet. I’ll leave your precious Y/N and Cordelia alone, and you’ll have the Angel tablet.” Dean takes a step closer, grabbing the scroll. “Oh, no, Squirrel, Moose is the one doing the trials; he’s the one who’s going to sign.”

“Not until I read the fine print,” Dean snaps back.

“I’ll sign it,” I mumble as I take a step closer, grabbing the long scroll.

“You wanted me here; I’m here.”

“What’s this, boys? Lovers quarrel?”

“Shut it, Crowley,” Dean barks. “I’m not gonna let him screw us over again.”

“That hurts, Squirrel,” he mocks us. “Now, if you're satisfied with the terms of the contract, let’s have the big galoot sign it, shall we?”

Dean is only inches away from Crowley, and as soon as he thinks I’ve started to sign, the click of the handcuffs wipes the smirk off of Crowley’s face.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Demonic handcuffs, jackass,” Dean gestures down the handcuffs. “These are going to keep you from smoking out, flicking out, teleporting. Oh, and no deal. Basically,” Dean’s fist connects to Crowley’s jaw, “you’re our bitch.”

“Fine,” Crowley throws his own punch, and I can see a faint smile on Dean’s face. “You’ve saddled yourself to the wrong bull, mate.”

“I can go all day, you know why? ‘Cause damn it feels good. Get used to it, douche, cause your demon ass is about to become a mortal ass.”

“What’s he on about?” Crowley’s eyes dart to me, a look of confusion and panic as I take pleasure in telling him what’s about to come.

“It’s you, Crowley. You’re the third Trial.”

Kevin is pacing in the library when we return to the bunker, Crowley blindfolded and gagged. Dean walks him down to 7B, and Kevin is nearly having a panic attack when his eyes land on Crowley.

“What is he doing here?” Kevin screams, “Why? Why did you bring him back?”

“Kevin, listen. Until we can figure out how to cure him, we need to keep him here. We can’t let him go.” I can see the tears brimming in his eyes. “The faster we can figure out the cure, the faster we can make him pay for all the evil shit he's done.”

Kevin and I have our noses buried in books when Dean returns from the dungeon. I can still hear Y/N/N’s voice in my head, screaming out for help, Crowley’s words torturing both of us. Every choice you made drove you further away from Y/N.

“Have you heard from Cas?” Dean asks as he sits down with three beers in his hands.

I pull out my phone, hoping that Y/N/N will return my calls, she’s shutting me out, and I can’t blame her. I should’ve shown her how to protect herself and Corie. All the symbols she needed were on the sheet of paper that Corie had drawn on the day she left the hospital. Any one of those could have protected her from Crowley’s attack. Would she ever forgive me for putting her in that situation, one that could have so easily been prevented? Crowley was going to pay for everything he’d ever done.

“Sam,” Dean’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and when I look up, I can see a questioning look etched on his face. “Cas?”

“Uh, no,” I mumble as I put my phone back into my pocket. We needed to find a cure and quick; it was the only way to get back to Y/N/N and Corie.

Hours later, Kevin and I are surrounded by a mountain of books, pouring through the lore looking for anything that may tell us how to cure a demon. Dean’s asleep on the table, softly snoring when Cas enters the bunker. It’s been over a week since we’d seen him, stationing him with Jody after Crowley killed Sarah, Cas insisting that Naomi and the other angels were watching over Y/N/N and Corie.

Dean jolts awake when Kevin drops another large set of books on the library table, grumbling about ‘first decent sleep in days,’ as he makes his way out of the library. I give Cas a tight-lipped smile, and he nods; there is something off about him. Usually, I can’t read his face, but today, he seems to be hiding something. Dean meets Cas in the war room, and I can hear hushed whispering between them. I run my hands through my hair as I pull another book in front of me, but I can’t focus on the text, every line bleeding into the next. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dean’s body stiffen; that can’t be good. I leave Kevin, instructing him to keep searching as I join Dean and Cas.

“What do you mean, ‘she’s done,’ what the hell is that supposed to mean, Cas?” Dean’s fingers are pinched at the bridge of his nose as Cas stands in front of him.

“Y/N feels that she and Cordelia’s safety was put in jeopardy and that we allowed Crowley to attack her in her home.”

“You told her we didn’t know, right?” Dean huffs. “That we wouldn’t’ve let Crowley come anywhere near them if we thought–”

“I told her that we were assured that she was safe. Y/N didn’t care for my answer. I don’t know how Crowley tracked her down.”

“‘Tracked her down?’ Cas, are you saying that Y/N and Corie left Weldon?” I thought Crowley was fucking with me. Y/N wouldn’t have moved without telling us; she promised not to run away.

“I gave Y/N my word that I would not-”

“Cas, if they left Weldon, we need to know. If they’re gone, then that means that they don’t have any type of protection,” I argue. I knew we should have done something more than leaving them the necklaces. “We can’t protect them if we don’t know where they are.”

“Y/N and Cordelia have left Weldon.”

“Fuck, Cas!” I want to hit something, someone. “You weren’t even going to tell us, were you?”

“Sammy-”

“No, tell me. You were going to let Y/N and Corie just drop off the face of the earth and not say anything?” My head is spinning. She’d made good on her threat; she took Corie and ran. “Why?”

“I do not believe Y/N's intent was to hide,” Cas says cautiously. “If Sam had kept in contact-”

“Are you saying that this is my fault?” I roll my shoulders, standing up to my full height. “Crowley’s attack is on me?”

“I am merely suggesting-”

“Y/N wanted space,” Dean clenches his jaw, “so we gave her some fuckin’ space. You had one job, Cas, and that was to keep an eye on her and make sure that she and Cordy were safe.”

“I was watching her, Dean,” Cas sighs. “Ever since the accident-”

“Cas,” Dean snaps. “If you were protecting her like we’d ask you to, then we could’ve stopped Crowley from ever walking into her house, but you insisted that no demon knew about either of them.”

“I have it on good authority that Crowley wasn’t made aware of Cordelia’s existence until recently.” Cas shifts his body towards me. “From best we can tell, he had a spy in that hospital. You don’t think that every demon under Crowley’s command doesn’t know who you are the second they lay eyes on you? Anyone working for him could have connected the dots.”

“So, it is my fault,” I murmur, moving backward before the back of my legs hit the map table, and I slump back against it. “All this, it’s my fault.”

“Sammy, you can’t think like that,” Dean rubs his hand down his face before turning his attention to Cas, his frustration with him becoming more apparent. “What if another demon tries to go after them, Cas? What’ll Y/N do then?”

“I warded her home against everything. She’s safe now.”

“How’s Y/N/N?” I don’t know why it takes me so long to ask such an obvious question, how it wasn’t the first thing out of my mouth when Cas walked through the door. My eyes lock on my hands, picking at a nail, unable to focus on anything else. “Is she okay? What about Corie?”

“Cordelia was not in the house. I offered to heal Y/N, but she refused to let me. She was upset when I left her.”

“What did Crowley do to her?”

“The psychological damage inflicted on her is more my concern,” Cas explains.

Crowley had tortured us all with his words. He twisted everything that had happened over the last ten years, things I hadn’t had the chance to tell her about. I would’ve told her about it all eventually, explained why I didn’t try to come back sooner. I wanted to, desperately, but I felt undeserving of her love. Y/N/N was one of the few good things that I had in my life, and I couldn’t let my uncleanliness taint her innocence. When Kevin first deciphered the Trials, and I accidentally completed the first one, Y/N/N became my light at the end of the tunnel. She and Corie deserve a life of peace. I have to do whatever I can to make the world a safer place for them. Once I finished the trials, I would’ve told her everything, hoping that she would be able to forgive me.

“I wouldn’t have allowed any true harm to come to either of them, Sam.” Cas closes the space between us and rests his hand on my shoulder. “As soon as I was sure Jody was safe, I went to Y/N; she prayed many times.”

“She prayed to you?” I turn slightly to face Cas, unsure if I’m hearing him correctly. I had told both Y/N/N and Corie to call on him if they ever needed anything. When Crowley was with her, I kept hoping that I would hear Cas intervening at some point. When I didn’t, I figured that Y/N/N had forgotten my words, but if she prayed, why didn’t he stop it? “Y/N/N, she prayed, and you still didn’t do anything?” Cas’ eyes dart between Dean and me, and I feel as though I’m about to explode with rage. “You told us that if either one of them prayed, you would go to them. That was your job, Cas, not wait around to see what would happen!”

“If I intervened sooner-” I can’t listen to anything else Cas has to say; I move away from the table and am headed towards 7B before I even realize it.

Crowley is cuffed and chained down in the middle of the devil’s trap; a smug smile creeps over his face when I lock the door behind me.

“I was hoping you’d join me, Moose,” he taunts. “What? No Squirrel? Oh, this will be fun.”

I close the distance in just a few steps, my fist connecting with Crowley’s jaw. He laughs dryly as I pull back and throw another punch, this time to his stomach. I need to do something that’ll make him hurt, make him pay for everything he’s done. Crowley doesn’t flinch, letting me hit him over and over again. I can hear pounding on the door as I swing again, Dean’s voice calling out, but I can’t stop, I won’t stop.

My knuckles are bloody and raw when I feel arms wrap around me, pulling me away from Crowley. I struggle against the powerful grip as Cas drags me back like I am a small child. Dean appears in front of me, yelling at me to calm down, but his voice is a distant echo, as my focus is still on Crowley.

I relax for a moment, and Cas loosens his grip, and I shove him off me. Dean tries to stop me, but I knock him to the floor. A glint of silver catches my eye, and before I can even process a thought, I snatch the weapon from the table. Crowley chuckles as I press the edge of the angel blade against his throat.

“You threaten my daughter? The mother of my daughter? And what? You’re going to sit here and laugh about it?” I growl, slowly raking the blade across his neck, watching as blood seeps out.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Crowley’s lips curl into a grin. “She was ready to do anything to get me to leave her and the little one alone, anything, Moose.”

“Don’t listen to him, Sam,” Dean grunts from behind me.

“And she would’ve done it. She put on a brave face, but she was willing, Sam. She knew you weren’t going to save her. Just another person you’ve let down, eh Sasquatch?”

“Shut up; you’re lying.” I tower over him, putting more pressure on the knife.

“I guess we’ll never know, will we, Samantha? Shall I tell you the things I plan to do to little Cordelia?”

“Sam,” Dean grabs my arm firmly, “he wants you angry; he doesn’t want you to complete the Trial,” he rationalizes. “You kill him now, and everything we’ve been working for the last few months goes down the drain. We’ve come too far to stop now.”

“He deserves to die,” I grunt as Dean pulls me away from Crowley. “For everything, not just Y/N/N and Corie. All the shit he’s done since we’ve known him, Purgatory, Leviathans, Tommy, Sarah, Samuel, holding Bobby’s soul in Hell. He should pay for it. For all of it.”

“He will, Sam. When we’re done, he’ll no longer be the King of Hell; he’ll be a regular person. But you have to finish this last Trial, Sammy. That’s how we make him pay.”

“What do we do?”

It takes several long days of research, but we finally learn how to complete the third trial. Dean, Kevin, and I are stunned into silence as we listen to the recording of Father Thompson and Peter Kent, a man possessed who then killed his children. One dose of purified blood every eight hours, followed by the final exorcism, Peter Kent was no longer a demon; he was human again. I read through Father Thompson’s notes. We could do this; all we need is the consecrated ground.

We find an abandoned church less than an hour away from the Bunker. It’s in the middle of nowhere; it’s the perfect place to complete the Trial. Crowley stays locked inside the trunk of the Impala as we prepare the church. Dean makes a large Devil’s Trap while I read over the Enochian text, committing it to memory. Once we are both satisfied that the church has enough warding, Dean marches Crowley in, tying him tightly in a chair in the center of the room.

Crowley begins to taunt me again, and I leave the church under the guise of gathering supplies out of the Impala.

“I was thinkin’,” Dean says as he walks closer to meet me at the trunk, “maybe you should give Y/N a call.” Dean closes the trunk. “It’s been months, man.”

“No,” it pains me to say it, “I can’t.”

“Just try. Tell her you’re sorry for everything, and when all this is over, you want to be with her.”

“Y/N/N won’t answer,” I sigh. “You heard Cas. She wants nothing to do with me anymore. Whatever chance I still had with her went flying out the window the second Crowley showed up at her house.”

“C’mon, man. You had no way of knowing–”

“That’s the point, Dean!” I shout. “I should’ve known, we both should’ve known! We– I left her, defenseless; didn’t even show her how to make a fuckin’ Devil’s Trap.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “I didn’t show her how to test anyone around her. Wherever she is, she could be surrounded by Crowley’s fuckin’ minions, and she wouldn’t even know it, Y/N/N could still be in danger.”

“Cas warded her house,” Dean offers, “she’s safe.”

“We both know that isn’t true, Dean,” I try and fight back the tears that press at my eyes. “As long as Crowley’s around, Y/N and Corie won’t be safe. He’ll find some way to use them against us.”

“Sammy.”

“Y/N didn’t ask for this life, Dean. She doesn’t want a life full of demons, monsters, angels. She just wants a normal, safe life, and she had it before we took that case. From the second we stepped foot back in Weldon, we put Y/N/N and Corie in danger.”

“You can’t keep blaming yourself, Sam,” Dean argues.

“I’m gonna make sure she gets the life she’s always wanted, even if it doesn’t include me.” Dean’s eyebrows furrow, and his forehead wrinkles. “When we’re done,” I sniff, wiping away the tears that escaped, and clear my throat. “I’m gonna get Cas to erase their memories.”

Dean’s eyes narrow as soon as my words leave me; shock and anger quickly replace his previous confusion. I realize my mistake immediately; Dean would never let me or Cas do such a thing.

“No,” he says firmly. “You’re not going to do that to Y/N and Cordy.”

“So Cas can erase Lisa and Ben’s memories–”

“That was different,” Dean runs his hands over his face, and I know I’ve hit a nerve with him. “Y/N and Cordy, they’re your family, our family. I know you, Sam, better than you know yourself, and it’ll kill you never to see them again. What about what Y/N wants?”

“Did you ask Lisa what she wanted?” Dean opens his mouth to argue, but I don’t back off. Lisa and Ben were the closest things he ever had to a wife and kid. “No, because you knew what she would say. You did the only thing you could to protect them.” Dean grimaces; he knows I’m right. “I have to keep them safe, Dean.”

“You’re not thinking straight,” Dean sighs. “When this is all over, Crowley’ll be human, and all those sons of bitches will be locked away.”

“I’m not going to put them in danger again, Dean.”

“And you won’t. Sammy, let’s just get through this trial. Then, we’ll track down Y/N, find a way to make it work.”

I try to keep myself steady as I lean in to inject Crowley for the second time. As I stick the needle in his neck, he bites me, and I let out an annoyed shout as Dean rushes to my side. “Really, Crowley? Biting?”

Dean walks us out to the Impala and inspects the wound. I look up to see that Dean’s focus is less on the injury and more on my face. I can see him studying it, realizing how much it’s changed over the last few weeks. I’ve lied to Dean and myself about how much the Trials have been taking a toll on me, but looking into his eyes tells me that no matter how much I want to, I can’t hide my pain from him.

“Cas say when he would be back?” I break the growing silence between us.

“No. Maybe once he’s finished doing whatever it is he’s doing, we won’t have to deal with those dicks anymore either,” Dean laughs weakly.

Cas appears outside the church after I finish my confession, asking Dean for his help. He explains that Metatron found a way of putting Heaven back in order, but Cas is the only one who can do it. Dean and I both know that Cas has felt guilty about what has happened over the last two years. Killing Raphael, letting the Leviathan’s out of Purgatory, it was complete anarchy in Heaven from what he had told us.

Dean refuses, insisting on staying with me, ‘if anyone needs a chaperon, it’s Sam’. He didn’t say the words maliciously, but I cringe at the thought of him not being able to trust me to complete this one on my own. Dean is my rock, the only person I’ve ever been able to rely on, he’s the one who’s always been there for me, and I can’t let him or Y/N/N down again.

“You think he can do it, fix heaven, or whatever?”

“If anyone can, it’s Cas.” Dean opens the Impala’s trunk and pulls out a gauze pad and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. “Knock knock,” he smirks, pulling the same move that he did when we were kids. I roll my eyes at him, “C’mon, Sammy, knock knock.”

“Who’s–” I hiss as the alcohol hits the bite marks on my skin. Dean chuckles slightly, clearly proud of himself as he finds a large bandage and wraps it around my wrist.

“Call Y/N, Sammy,” Dean looks up from my wrist and meets my eyes.

“Dean,” I sigh.

“Just try.”

“I did!” I shout, yanking my hand away. “After we left Weldon; I reached out, I told her I was sorry, I told her that I loved her. You know what she said? Take care of yourself. She didn’t tell me that she wanted us to work out, that she wanted me around.”

“Sammy–”

“Y/N/N was pissed, and she had every right to be, you said it yourself, I scared the crap outta her that night. I listened to you and gave her the time and space that she asked for so that she could sort everything out. I left her alone after that.” I take a few steps back. “I tried calling and messaging her every day since Crowley attacked her, she won’t answer. No matter what I say or do, she doesn’t want any part of it. She's choosing to not speak to me, and I can’t blame her. The least I can do now is finish the Trial and let Y/N/N and Corie move on with their lives. She’s better off without me; they both are.”

“Sam,” Dean brings his hand down over his face. “They’re not, you know that. Don’t be like dad, don’t push them away because you’re afraid of losing them. You’ll never forgive yourself if you walk away from Y/N and Cordy again.”

“Fuck you,” I grumble. “I didn’t walk away the first time. I let one of the people I’m supposed to trust more than anyone else in the world manipulate me. You keep taking dad’s side.”

“Sammy, I’m– I’m not, but dad didn’t make you leave.”

“You wanna know what happened that night?” I ask. Dean still doesn’t know the whole story, and he nods slightly. “I came back from Y/N/N’s house, and I told dad about Stanford. He said that I was abandoning you. All I wanted was to go to college and have a couple of years of a normal, safe life. When I told him that Y/N/N was going with me, he said she couldn't, that I would be accused of kidnapping her. I stood my ground and told him that she was coming with me and nobody was going to stop us. I had to tell him first, Dean, about the baby, and when I did, he fuckin' lost it. Said that Y/N/N was trying to trap me, called her a slut, and the baby wasn't mine. When we got back in the morning, he convinced me that Y/N/N had decided to have an abortion and that she didn’t want to see me again.”

“Sam–”

“No,” I shake my head. I know what he’s about to say. “You’re not going to tell me that he was keeping them safe. Not when he kept in contact with them for years– years, Dean. Dad robbed me of the chance to know my daughter and then weaved a story to Y/N/N, making her think he was the good guy, like he hadn’t said those awful things about her. Corie would’ve known him if he hadn’t died; what would’ve he told her about me, about us? If he wanted to shield them from our enemies, he would’ve stayed away, just like he wanted me to. They would’ve been safe with me; I could’ve protected them from everything. The second Crowley started torturing her to get us to play his game, I knew the only way to make sure that it never happened again would be to remove myself from their lives completely. I’m not walking away; I’m keeping them safe the only way I can.”

“I need your help, Dean,” Cas appears suddenly with a rustling.

“Cas, I told you already. I need to be here with Sam.”

“You should go,” I mumble, “seriously.”

“What, and leave you with the King of Hell? No way.”

“Sam must complete this Trial on his own. You cannot assist him.”

“Keep giving the injections,” Dean orders. “If I’m not back in time for the bloody fist, you finish it, you hear me? No questions, no hesitation.”

I nod, and Dean gives me a half-hearted smile. He and Cas disappear before my eyes, and I walk back into the church.

With every injection, Crowley is becoming weaker. It takes five injections for him to start breaking down, admitting his failures; he almost seemed human. The injections aren’t just curing Crowley. They’re doing something to me, too; I can feel my body breaking down. With every passing hour, we’re both growing weaker.

“I didn’t know about the little one, Moose,” Crowley murmurs as I pull the needle out of his neck. “Not at first.”

Crowley is as close to human as he will be before the final injection. It takes me a moment to realize what he’s saying. “What do you mean, ‘not at first’?”

“I knew about the girl; everyone did,” Crowley lifts his head slightly. “She was the one I’d been watching.”

“Why?” How did he know about Y/N/N and not Corie? Cas said the angels knew from the beginning,

“The two of you were always destined to meet. She was always going to be the one to carry your children. Lillith made it all of the Loyalists’ priority to ensure that you would meet. Think about it, Sam, the case that brought you two together all those years ago, you knew that there was something off about it. But once you and Y/N had met, all your reservations went out the window.”

I feel my entire body vibrate with rage. Cas talked about our paths being destined to cross again, but was it all contrived? Did I ever have any free will?

“You weren’t to meet for years, but Lucifer instructed Lillith to speed up the process. Cordelia was under powerful protection. Someone found a witch to cast a spell over her before she was born, and she was made invisible to us. Y/N was protected as well, but we already knew about her, and it was only a matter of time before she left that small town of hers,” Crowley rasps. “It was Naomi, Moose. She was the one who told me about the little one.”

“Naomi, was your informant?” I huff, “why? Cas said that the angels were told to keep her existence a secret. Why would she tell you about them?” I question the weakened demon. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“You said it yourself, Sam. If we’d known, we would’ve used them to our advantage years ago.” Crowley sighs, and I don’t know whether or not to believe him. “I wouldn’t have hurt her, Sam. I would’ve treated her as if she were my own, Cordelia, Princess of Hell.”

“If you weren’t going to hurt her, then why tell us you would?”

“I had to keep your Y/N compliant, and she would’ve done anything to protect Cordelia,” Crowley lifts his head, and I can see how close he is to being human again. “Nothing is more sacred than a mother’s love for her child; there are few bonds greater. The only thing comparable is her soulmate. Like when your mother made a deal with Azazel to save your father and then sacrificed herself for you when Azazel walked into your nursery. Acts of pure love,” he mumbles. “I want that Moose. I deserve love; I deserve to be loved!”

“You deserve nothing, Crowley,” I murmur. “And once we’re done, I’m going to take pleasure in killing you myself. You saw what I did to Brady? That’s nothing compared to what I’m going to do to you. I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”

I expect some witty retort from Crowley, but he doesn’t speak; he only stares at the ground. Watching him break down, so close to being human, knowing that I’ll be able to get my revenge for everything, makes me feel better than I have in months. I have to finish this, for Y/N/N, for Corie, for Dean. I can’t let them down again.

I grab Ruby’s knife, ready to complete the ritual. This is it; closing the gates of Hell that I was responsible for opening all those years ago. No more Crowley, no more demons, and if Cas succeeds, no more angels either.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, hanc animam redintegra, lustra.”

“Sammy, stop!” Dean’s thundering voice causes me to jump. “There’s been a change in plans, Metatron lied. You finish this trial, you’re dead.”

Before Dean ever voiced the words, I knew that there was little chance of me getting out of this alive. If my life is what it takes to close the gates of hell, then I will give it. It's the least I can do to make sure that Y/N/N and Corie can live the rest of their lives in peace. Dean can look after them, show them how to protect themselves from monsters. Bobby and Rufus have safe houses all over the country; I know I can trust Dean to keep the only family we have left safe.

“So?” I mutter, closing the gap between Crowley and me. “Look at him!” I turn around, coming face to face with Crowley again; the King of Hell, now a blubbering mess. Crowley doesn’t look at me but turns his attention to Dean. As if Dean is the one who can save him, but he’s too far away, all I have to do is give him the final dose of blood. “Look how close we are! Other people will die if I don't finish this.” Dean stares at me wide-eyed, stunned, as he takes in my words. The only reason he let me continue with the Trials was that I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. These Trials were supposed to be my way out of hunting. “I have to finish this for them, Dean. I have to keep Y/N/N and Corie safe.”

“Listen to me, Sammy.” Dean raises his hands in surrender. “I know you want to keep them safe, but this isn’t the only way to do it. Y/N and Cordy, they need you, Sam, even if they don’t know it. You finish this trial, and you're taking away Cordy’s chance to know you. You’re making Y/N’s choice for her.”

I pull away from Crowley and mull over what Dean says. I shake my head and weigh my options. Is Dean, right? No, Killing Crowley and closing the Gates of Hell is the only way to keep my family safe. Seeing my momentary hesitation, Dean takes a step closer.

“Sam, think about everything we’ve learned since we started: rescuing a soul from Hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a hellhound. We have a real chance to turn the tide here, but I can't do it without you.”

“You can barely do it with me.” I choke on my words, feeling the tears press against my eyes as I fail to fight them back. “Y/N/N hates me. She won’t ever forgive me for Crowley.”

“You don’t know that, Sam,” Dean argues gently, taking another step forward.

“Y/N/N and Corie, they’re better off without me, all of you are. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t even need to close the gates. It’s my fault they were opened in the first place. It’s my fault that Lucifer got outta the cage; thousands of people are dead because of me.”

“Sammy.” Dean shakes his head. “You gotta know that isn’t true.”

“You’re still pissed about Ruby, Dean. About me losing my soul, killing Lilith. You think I’m a screw-up, that I need a chaperon.”

“C'mon, man, that's not what I meant–”

“It's exactly what you meant,” I cut him off. “Do you wanna know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down, Y/N/N down. I can't do that again. You wanna know why I never told you about Y/N/N and the baby?” Dean’s face softens. “I didn’t know how to tell you, of all people, that I was going to leave it all behind. Y/N/N and I, we were going to start over in California. I wanted to marry her, live a safe life, just the three of us. How was I supposed to tell you, the one person I’ve always been able to count on, that I was going to leave the only life I’d ever known?”

“Sammy–”

“I was scared to tell dad because I knew that he’d be pissed, tell me that I was irresponsible, and all that bullshit. But you– you raised me, Dean, you were more my parent than dad ever was. I couldn’t disappoint you again, and I couldn’t risk that you would take dad’s side over mine.”

“Just hold it. Hold on,” Dean bellows. “You seriously think that? Because none of it, none of it, is true.” Dean takes a step forward, and I keep the knife pressed against my palm.

“You just stood there when dad said if I left, I couldn’t come back. You’re my big brother, and I thought if anyone could’ve helped me with Y/N/N and the baby, it would’ve been you. I lost everything that night, not just Y/N/N and the baby, but you too. And I only got some of it back when you turned up in Palo Alto.” Dean frowns. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to her, to either of them. I never got to have a real talk with my daughter. I never got the chance to tell Corie that I thought about her and Y/N/N every day for the last ten years and that leaving was the biggest regret of my entire life.”

“Sammy, all you have to do is stop, and you can tell her. We’ll go there right now.”

“We can’t, Dean.” I let the knife slice through the skin of my palm. The glowing in my arms becomes brighter, and pain radiates through me. “Y/N/N left Weldon and took Corie with her, she ran away from her home town and took my daughter with her. They could be on the other side of the fuckin’ world for all we know.”

“You’re right. But he knows.” Dean gestures at Crowley behind me. “He can tell us where they are.”

“Y/N/N doesn’t want me around, Dean, don’t you get that?” I huff, moving backwards towards Crowley. “She doesn’t trust me to keep her or Corie safe. They deserve better than some fuck-up like me in their lives. I’ve only ever let them down. I’m not going to do it again.”

“We can fix it, Sam. You, Y/N, and Cordy, you belong together. We’ll find her, find Cordy. We’ll teach them everything they need to know about protecting themselves. I’ll get you your apple-pie life, brother, but you gotta trust me, okay? You gotta stop.”

“I do trust you, Dean. I always have,” I mumble. “I’ve always been able to count on you, my whole life, you’ve been the one who’s always been there for me. But what happens when you decide I can’t be trusted again? Will you take Y/N and Cordy away, hide them from me? Who will you turn to? Another angel, another- another vampire?”

“Hold on, hold on!” Dean shouts. “You can’t believe that’s true, any of it! I know that we’ve had some disagreements. Hell, I know I’ve said some things that sent you back on your heels. But Sammy, c’mon, I killed Benny to save you. I’m willing to let this bastard and all the other sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you.” Dean takes a step closer, and I can see the tears in his eyes. “Don’t you dare think there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you. You gotta see that, okay? I need you to see that.”

“What about Y/N/N? Corie?” I sniff.

“I’ll get you back to them, Sammy, I swear to God. I will do everything in my power to keep the three of you together for the rest of your lives.”

I can feel the blood from my palm drip onto the floor as I consider Dean’s words. If I can be back with Y/N/N and Corie, everything will be worth it. But, the overwhelming need to make Crowley human again consumes my thoughts. My instincts as a father are taking over; I have to do everything I can to keep Corie safe.

Dean’s voice sounds muted, strangled; I can barely hear him as he continues to shout at me. I repeat Father Thompson’s exorcism a final time as I move back to Crowley’s side and put my hand over his mouth. ‘I did it,’ I murmur before the darkness consumes me.

Next Chapter

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laora-inn · 4 years

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Supernatural - Destiel and Crowley, seasons 6-12

Hi, guys.

I’ve re-watched some episodes from Supernatural season 6 and that made me think about Destiel and Crowley - from season 6 to season 12 strictly.

I love Crowley and think he is one of the main characters which helped Destiel to become closest to canon, though in a hard way.

Destiel positive, one-sided Crowley/Cas, Crowley/Dean and Balthazar/Cas in subtext mentioned, don’t like - don’t read.

In the season 6, Cas’s working with Crowley was the reason of Dean and Cas’s fight, that literally almost ruined the world. From that point, Cas and Crowley have their own dynamics which Dean is far well acquainted with, though for us viewers it could be not so easy to follow.

Basically, Crowley stayed in the plot in season 6 just for these dynamics and Dean’s further frustration = jealousy. ‘Cause, if we’ll take a look at season 6, all the thing about Cas’s dealing with Crowley wasn’t so bad. Cas really had good purposes, Dean really could talk to him in a supportive way, and I strongly believe that in this case there will be NO Leviathans at all. As well as Cas’s “death”, they were a metaphorical result of Dean’s jealousy and bitter words, which also almost cost Sam his life.

Season 6 is a very interesting piece. For the first time, it’s not Sam who is the main character of the show. It’s more Dean’s story, and Cas is also “Dean’s“. He came mostly when Dean calls, they share “more profound“ bond.

Cas raises Sam from perdition, as he raised Dean, heals Sam, as he healed Dean, answers Sam’s prayers, when Dean doesn’t want to pray first, and is referred to as Sam’s “boyfriend” in 6x11 by Balthazar. But all these prompts to make Sam and Dean’s relationships with Cas equal fail.

Cas saves Sam from Hell FOR DEAN (and yet he can’t save THE WHOLE Sam, it’s Dean who manages to bring Sam’s soul back + Sam restores his memory himself, in time), heals Sam when Dean tells him to do it and THE OTHER WAY, just by touching his forehead, not by cupping his face intimately, as it was with Dean in 5x22. In 6x03 soulless Sam mentions that Cas doesn’t answer his prayers, then Dean prays to Cas, and Cas comes immediately, with the line about his and Dean’s more profound bond on his lips. In 6x10 soulless Sam tricks Cas with his prayer and even threats to kill him if Cas won’t help. In 6x12 Sam, not soulless anymore, tricks Cas with his prayer to know about his past and doesn’t want to hug him.

It’s all outlined. Why?

As for Balthazar’s referring in 6x11: he, of course, could have spoken about both Sam and Dean back there. “You” in “go ask your boyfriend” can be plural, but I rather suppose Balthazar meant Cas as Sam’s boyfriend specifically, and that’s as right as the fact that his words in 6x17, about “the other angel in a dirty trench coat who’s in love with you”, were specifically about Dean. And I’m sure, that in 6x17 Balthazar understands Cas’s intentions better - it’s the same episode where he saves Titanic because Cas told so. I suggest Cas and Balthazar’s reunion took place right before 6x15, ‘cause by the end of 6x15 we know that they are a new-formed team and all this episode has one purpose - to help Cas get the Heaven weapon from Balthazar. Misha’s cameo from 6x15 even tells some things about Balthazar while acting Cas - that Balthazar isn’t a hero and couldn’t beat Rafael, who isn’t definitely going to forgive him.

So, Balthazar’s words about Cas who is in love with Dean are more significant than his assumption about Cas as Sam’s boyfriend. We have enough evidences for the fact that Cas in this season is “Dean’s”, though he cares about Sam a lot.

First of all - ‘cause Sam is crucial for Dean.

No wonder that in 6x22 Cas knocks Sam down to crush Dean. He knows how it works.

So in this season Sam is a victim of Dean and Cas’s love quarrel, someone who is fostered by both of them. And this is the part of a plot structure, as well as Cas and Crowley’s and Cas and Balthazar’s little moments, which are not crucial for the whole Winchesters’ story, but are absolutely necessary to understand Cas in this season and his and Dean’s “hidden” plot.

‘Cause this “hidden” plot is the thing on which the main plot is grounded.

Balthazar and Cas had relationship before Dean was even born. Crowley and Cas had their relationship after Dean decided to have a peaceful life with Lisa and Ben, and this relationship matters from season 6 till the end of season 12. I think it’s basically the reason why Crowley helps Winchesters so much.

You see, for starters, Sam and Dean were just no one to Crowley. They were humans, not even his equals. But Cas - he was higher. As Dean in 5x22, in 6x20 Crowley sees a new “God” in Cas, the Heaven ruler. And he isn’t telling the whole truth about it for sure, but also he isn’t lying. I think in some way he respects Cas, even admires. And it’s not subtle in the plot logic, it’s the part of it.

Let’s check.

Season 6 - Cas and Crowley are working together all the way, Crowley doesn’t want Winchesters to intervene, he tries to kill them and is threatened by Cas. He said that Cas doesn’t know what he is. He is tricked by Cas twice, double-crossed, but not killed - opposite to Raphael. God!Cas needs Crowley.

Season 7 - In 7x01 God!Cas finds Crowley, but, again, doesn’t kill him. He makes authoritarian demands, which have weird subtext (“you take whatever I give you”) and really scare Crowley. He help the Winchesters to enslave Death, but has never did or even said something against God!Cas. In 7x23 Crowley reveals Cas is alive, but, unlike the angels, he isn’t mad. He wants explanations, receives some honey from Cas instead and says in philosophical manner: “karma is a bitch”. Later, he doesn’t try to kill Cas and even leaves Meg with the boys not to disappoint his “business partner”.

Season 8 - Crowley is a Big Bad this season. Also, this season is the first time than Destiel becomes a real thing textually, for both Dean and Cas. And Crowley is a BIG BAD in the middle of that finally hopeful love story. Coincidence? Hell no! Also, the first question that Crowley asks when he sees Dean alive is “Where is your angel?”.

In 8x02 Dean tries to kill Crowley who is possessing Kevin’s mum. Why? The same reason Kevin has: Crowley made him fight for his life for year and killed his girlfriend. That’s also relevant for Dean: Crowley is one of the main reasons why Dean must fight for his life for year in Purgatory and lost Cas there.

In 8x07 during their encounter Crowley doesn’t try to attack Cas. He also says, that Cas could call him when he was out the Purgatory. But Cas doesn’t want to make things right with Crowley, he tries to kill him and manages to have Kevin and the half of the demons’ tablet back. Without Cas it will be impossible: the text shows us that Cas doesn’t like Crowley. Not even a little, not anymore.

In 8x17 Crowley understands that Cas tricked Naomi and is kinda fond of that. Also, he kills Meg here, whom he was torturing for a year and who definitely was Cas’s crash in 7x21-7x23. We also saw that Crowley knew about it - and about the fact that in 8x17 all Meg did was helping Cas and protecting him from Crowley, even if this would cost her her life.

Strange, but this will be also Crowley’s future.

In 8x21 Crowley rescues Cas from Naomi. He also gets the angels’ tablet FROM THE CAS’S BODY, but lets Cas escape by leaving another angel with him and angel-killing bullet IN HIM.

Season 9 - in 9x10 Crowley is flirting with Cas as much as possible. Just re-watch it and pay attention to all of these “What are you, a pimp?”, “Oh, Cas, such a flirt”, “Hey. Watch the leg”, “I'll be listening to every word you say. - Promise?”, “Without the tie, he's barely recognizable” and “The three amigos ride again”. For some reason, it was more urgent for Crowley to talk about Cas’s being a human first and about Hell later. There was also deleted scene in 9x10, where Cas and Crowley waited for Dean in the motel. They were sitting on the same bed, Crowley called Cas “sunshine” and tried to talk with him about being human, then Dean showed up, and he was very concerned about how they are doing. Destiel shippers consider this scene as an approving one, and I’m totally agree, ‘cause it shows us that Dean is still jealous when it comes to Cas’s relationship with Crowley, and he actually HAS A POINT HERE - if we’ll look at Crowley. ‘Cause Crowley wasn’t interested in Dean back then, he was interested in Cas, who, in his own turn, was absolutely uninterested. He was against releasing Crowley from the start.

It’s 9x11 where Dean and Crowley begin to develop their own relationship, and I suppose it’s grounded on the mirroring each other. Back in season 8, it’s no wonder why Crowley wanted “to play Dean” for Kevin. He felt something common with Dean, and part of this “common” was Cas.

In 9x11 Crowley says that he tried to hate Dean more than Dean himself but failed. Here he puts Dean in danger by leading him to Cain, who gives Dean his Mark. After that Dean’s way down begins. But this is also true for Crowley! He becomes human blood junkie and in 9x16 needs help. Also, he helps Dean in the end of the season, brings him back - something that Cas and Sam couldn’t do.

Season 10 - here in 10x02 Crowley and Dean’s (b)romance ends, and Crowley helps Dean to return to his normal life... by saving Cas with stealing angel’s grace for him in 10x03. I simply don’t understand WHY Crowley helped Cas here if we’ll ignore their relationship and Destiel. Crowley didn’t know Sam can’t help Dean himself and needs help for surviving. And how the hell did Crowley know that Cas can save Dean, that it will work? Why was he so sure? His words “you owe me” to Cas mean nothing, he’ll never remember them. They sound just like an excuse!

I think here Crowley: 1) wants to save Cas because of their relationship; 2) knows that Cas could “fix the problem” with Dean because of Dean and Cas’s relationship; 3) has sentimental feelings for Dean despite of their break-up one episode earlier.

Crowley couldn’t control Dean. But he thinks Cas can. And he is no wrong!

In this episode Cas says to healed Dean that Crowley stole some grace for him and this is the story for the other time ‘cause he has a female waiting for him in his car. Dean is very unhappy to hear that, and not because of “female” alone, but also because of Crowley. Crowley and some woman are the reason of Cas’s leaving again. As usual.

In 10x14 there was also one deleted scene with Cas and Crowley, where Crowley called Dean Cas’s boyfriend. Cas reacted with: “Maybe, he is your boyfriend?” and Crowley responded: “He is not my type”.

True - ‘cause here Dean gives the First Blade to Cas, not Crowley, and says that he tricked Crowley about Cain’s going to kill him. But they don’t kill Crowley. It’s just Crowley being rejected by both of them.

Still, in 10x23, after Destiel fight, Cas summons Crowley and asks him for help. And Crowley helps! His only demand to Cas is TO BEG for help. To say “King” and “please”. Well, kinky.

Also, Crowley proposes Cas to call him. Not to summon. And by the end of this episode Cas is cursed by Rowena and almost manages to kill Crowley.

Season 11 - it begins with Cas’s acknowledging that he didn’t kill Crowley (and that’s good, Crowley was a big help to save Dean from the Mark). Also, Crowley here has an orgy in some woman’s body. It was more urgent to him than anything else. Hmm.

Some episodes later Crowley tries to be a foster parent for Amara. He is ready to kill Dean to protect her and fails. Amara becomes free, she wants to see God, the Winchesters want to stop her and call Crowley to see Lucifer. He guides them to Hell, where Cas becomes possessed by Lucifer. After saying good-bye to Sam and Dean Lucifer in Cas’s body returns to Hell, and Crowley isn’t hostile to him. He’s just surprised.

Then comes a long BDSM story for Lucifer in Cas’s body and Crowley, and Lucifer do all the things God!Cas might do to Crowley but didn’t. When Crowley is free, he is desperate to expel Lucifer from Cas and return him to the Cage. That’s his plan, not Sam’s or Dean’s. Dean wants to expel Lucifer from Cas and give him a new vessel to fight Amara. Sam even didn’t see a point here - Cas and Cas’s vessel are two different things for him.

Dean fails to expel Lucifer. So does Crowley - he tries in his own way, by possessing Cas’s vessel, like it was with Sam in 9x10. He says to Cas that Dean wants him to expel Lucifer, but Cas is depressed, so it doesn’t work. Also, Sam didn’t know, that he was possessed, and saw the point in fighting back, but Cas doesn’t see. So both Dean and Crowley fail.

Season 12 - here Cas and Crowley start to look for Lucifer together and this is a horrible piece of news to Dean. Cas left him in 12x03 to work with Crowley again! Cas and Crowley are playing FBI agents together - it was Dean’s only role-play with Cas from 5x03!

Cas isn’t happy either, but Crowley is. And that’s just amazing, ‘cause without Crowley Cas could be dead in 12x07. Lucifer just saw Crowley and wanted to punch him instead of Cas. No wonder that Dean thanked Crowley for helping Cas here. In 12x08 Crowley helps with Lucifer again. In 12x09 he is uninterested in looking for the Winchester boys, though in 12x12 he helps again - and not just with Ramiel. He rescues Cas from dying. Dean thanks him for that for the second time in 12x15.

In 12x21 Crowley knows about Cas’s bailing off with Kelly. He tells Lucifer about it and calls Cas “Winchesters’ love slave”. He thinks that Cas wants to kill Kelly’s baby. Then Lucifer gets free, and Crowley sacrifices himself to stop him. To save the world, the Winchesters... and Cas - for the third time.

So Cas was important for Crowley from season 6. He is one of the main reasons Crowley acknowledged Winchesters at all, saw something in them.

And Crowley, in his own turn, is one of the main characters to expose nature of Destiel. He was always somewhere in the middle of their relationship, mostly as Dean’s mirror.

Well, from season 13 the nature of Destiel changed.

#Destiel #destiel meta #destiel-meta #castiel #dean winchester #crowley #supernatural #SPN #dean/castiel #dean/cas #DEANCAS #CasDean #balthazar #spn balthazar

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veridium · 4 years

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oc interview - olivia

tagged by the terrific @heraldofwho to have my oc do an interview! thank you again for the tag!

tagging @dickeybbqpit, @avaquet, @bitchesofostwick, @cullenvhenan, and @star--nymph if they have not done one already, or would like to do one for another oc!

name ➔ “Olivia Sinclair is my full name, though people hardly know it on account of my title. I know you have likely been asked to adhere to that, but please, call me Olivia.” are you single ➔ “I...” She grins tensely, and looks off to the nearest window. “I have a troublesome history with that word. I never consider myself “taken” or “spoken for.” I am never spoken for. But I admit I have a fondness for someone. That is all I will admit.” are you happy ➔ She smirks and shakes her head. “Happiness is a distracting goal. I have not been happy as people would call it in many years. Do I have moments of happiness? Yes. Do I hunger for it? Yes. But someone like me, the world does not encourage happiness.” are you angry ➔ “Yes, always. I just hide it well, and choose to laugh whenever I have that choice.” are your parents still married ➔ “They were until my Father passed away when I was seventeen. As far as I know, my Mother never remarried. I would not care, truly, if she did. I wouldn’t be surprised, either. Their marriage was far from perfect or lovely.”

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “I was born at my family’s home just north of Val Royeaux. Normally I just say the Capitol, since it is close enough.” hair color ➔ “Blonde, fair, bright, whatever you would call it. The Bard in the tavern, Maryden, teases me by singing of it as spun gold. She knows I scowl at the idea of being talked about like I am some pristine art fixture.” eye color ➔ “That changes rather famously. When I am at rest they are hazel, but I am never at rest. They glow a little of gold and sometimes red. Mages can have very expressive eyes, and if they choose not to control it, it can be rather sinister looking.” She pauses, and a wry smile grows on her lips. “I like it like that.” birthday ➔ “The 7th of Drakonis, in the year 9:15.” mood ➔ “My mood? Hah,” she crosses her arms, “depends on who you ask. I would say quite friendly. Varric would agree. The Seeker would not.” gender ➔ “I am a woman.” summer or winter ➔ “Summer. Though, I have become used to the eternal snow and chill of the Frostbacks. It isn’t always a treat. Summer and Spring are my favorite seasons because of the warmth and liveliness of the country. My Father used to hunt and host gatherings celebrating the open season. Everything felt much more bearable and beautiful.”

morning or afternoon ➔ “Mornings. I do not sleep very well, so mornings are my most productive. As soon as the sun rises, I do. I absolutely detest getting a late start to my day.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ “You would never have me admit in open air if I was. Sorry, but I learned far before I ever had the chance to decide for myself, that wearing my heart on my sleeve is nothing but a liability. It is a hard habit to unlearn.” do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “I believe in infatuation as well as obsession. I believe we can use people as escapes from our own concerns. All-too-often we use these hungers as excuses to call it love. As for the real thing, perhaps I am unfamiliar with it and that has made me a skeptic. I cannot be blamed, no? After all, what have been my examples of it? Nothing worth recreating or venerating, I can tell you that much.”

who ended your last relationship ➔ “I did not have relationships, I had encounters. They ended as anomalously as they began. I do not start things with people that would cause me too much grief to finish.” have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “Yes...and their skulls...and their arms...well, I should clarify that it was not a lover’s quarrel or honest tryst. I would never do that to someone I was sincerely fond of. Where do you think I got my alias as the Black Dove, anyway? There is a reason no one has yet ventured to court me.” are you afraid of commitments ➔ “My friends would say yes. I would say yes if it means I know the perils of “belonging” to someone.” She says it with an ache in her voice, like she only half-agrees with what she is saying. She crosses one leg over the other and shakes herself of the melancholy. “I think it is even worse when the commitment is genuine. You cannot avoid it or dissuade yourself. It just becomes this affliction you have to wash yourself of.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yes! Of course! My friends, my Ambassador. She used to have such an odd look on her face when I did it in the beginning, she is such a stickler for decorum. We only ever do it in private because of it. She has been won over, though, I am pleased to say.” have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “In all likelihood, yes. When people first meet me it is all about how pretty and petite I am. Naomi said once that I am honey on the eyes but spice on the tongue. I do not disagree,” she snickers a bit. have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ She opens her mouth quickly, but catches herself from responding. She chuckles a bit anxiously, and runs a hand up around the side of her neck. “I have, and I do. But that is our little secret -- I cannot have people thinking I am so sentimental.”

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “Love is a fanciful ideal. Lust is a human craving that I am much more sympathetic of, and I know that sounds rather careless, but it is the truth. When we are honest about what is lust and what is love, I think we find lust is the most apt descriptor for the needs we act on. Love, however, takes many shapes. I love my people, I love my allies, and I love my cause. I am a human who lusts for intimacy and gratification. These do not have to exclude each other.” lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Oh sweet Maker, who would drink lemonade? Tea, tea, nothing but tea. Though I will admit I like it better hot.” cats or dogs ➔ “I do not have a preference for either. Cullen will talk for hours about dogs and I only pay attention to the first sentence and last -- shit, don’t tell him that, he will only want to rant more. Cats are fine as well. My favorite animals tend to be much larger, and with hooves and muzzles,” she says with a fiendish smile, knee jerking to show off her calf-high riding boots still on her feet.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “A few very close friends is always worth more than a legion of accolades. I will never not say so. I will admit however that my inclusion of people into that category has grown bigger since the Inquisition began.” wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Romantic, you say? So, me alone with books, candles, and a cup of something strong? I will take that over a night out. At the risk of being accused of lies, I will say I do not hate being out with good company. I am good at being sociable! Does not mean I wholeheartedly enjoy it.” day or night ➔ “Day for the struggle, night for the trouble, as my dear friend Roslyn would say. I will leave it at that,” she says tilting her head and chuckling again.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “Yes. As a child I would always want to stay up late like my Father did. Sometimes I could make it from where my room was on my Mother’s side of the home to my Father’s and find him still sitting by his fire, smoking a pipe or drinking his brandy. When I was sent to the Circle such things were much more dangerous to do, but I still sometimes broke the Templar’s curfew for certain...reasons. Understandably, nowadays I do not run into such authorities.”

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Uh...hm, well,” she scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “I am afraid both. I am...or, was, quite clumsy. Funny, considering I was a dancer in my childhood. We cannot outrun all of our imperfections, no?” wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ "Yes, so many things. So many opportunities I have chased and craved for years. It is at the very heart of who I am. As for people...that is a much more sordid answer.” wanted to disappear ➔ “If it meant defying a Templar’s vigilance, yes. Completely. Growing up I would have given anything to just be what I thought was a regular, more liberated person -- someone not born to privilege which I saw as a cage. I have since learned it was a child of wealth’s romanticization of poverty. I had many troubles, yes, but none of them were insecurity with food, shelter, or protection. What I truly wanted was to be treated with respect and love. That standard should not depend on class.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ “Eyes! Eyes are projections of the spirit. I fall for--I mean, ahah, I get to know someone a great deal through the way their eyes and faces change in different moods.” shorter or taller ➔ “With my height, it is rather easy to elect for taller.” intelligence or attraction ➔ “Both, yes? You need both to a degree. Minds in tandem with one another add the fire to any bond.” hook-up or relationship ➔ She gives a knowing look, brow raised and grin crooked, indicating to move on to the next question.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ She only chuckles and rolls her eyes. would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “I grew up in a deeply distorted and toxic culture. I was sent to the Circle which oppressed Mages for being who they are. My friends and I broke free and I landed here, somehow, with an anchor in my hand and a title before my name. I have suffered but I have survived. A lot of people would say the same having faced dangers I never had to.” have you ever ran away from home ➔ ”No, but then again, eventually I did not have to.” have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “I believe that is what one might say into describe my being sent to the Circle, so, yes?”

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “Secretly? No! Veronica knows I revile her.” She tries to maintain a straight face, but she cannot help but crack another smile. do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Yes, of course. They are the noblest, kindest, and most worthy people I know. We grew up together. As for my friends in the Inquisition, I know better than to believe our relationships indivisible. We all have arrived from different places and positions in the world. If this fight ever ends, I imagine those positions will pull us into new and old directions. All this said, I wish to believe that our bonds have a sincerity to them.” who is your best friend ➔ “I could never say I have just one. I have a few. When we have different concerns and needs, we go to each other. It is as it should be.” who knows everything about you ➔ “Me as a person behind the leadership role? One of the girls could probably answer that. Me as both leader and person? Leliana and Josephine, of course. Cassandra would...she would, too.” She blinks, and shakes her head suddenly. “I mean, of course she would. That woman has dragged me everywhere. Insufferable.”

#oc interview #olivia sinclair #inquisitor!Olivia #oc tag #mutuals!!

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twilightofthe · 4 years

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SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE 9 BENEATH THE CUT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

S O . . .

Honestly I’m kinda really glad I spoiled myself for this movie because I got really really upset by the reviews and went in with my expectations basically on the floor, so I was actually able to be pleased and happy with a couple things in the movie, so I will start off with the few things I did like.

I loved the Rey/Finn/Poe dynamic. The actors’ chemistry works sooooo well together and I loved their adventure through the first two acts. You can see how much these guys all genuinely like each other-- even tho the script seems to try VERY HARD to stick Poe and Finn with the worst case of “NO HOMO NO HOMO”-ing I’ve seen in Star Wars since Anakin and Obi Wan in The Clone Wars lol. Seriously, the script is trying so so hard to pick fights between Poe and Finn, but blessed amazing Oscar Isaac and John Boyega manage to play it so the entire conflict reads more like Poe is jealous of Finn’s feelings over Rey, they act it VERY MUCH like quarreling lovers and it is completely 100% the work of John and Oscar and I love these two so much, I owe them my life.

I adore Rey and Finn’s chemistry too, they spend the entire film with Finn desperately worrying over Rey and Rey confiding her worries and fears to Finn and constantly giving each other looks and ugh, I love them so much.

Force Sensitive!Finn!!! Just for a second but it happened! They should have been more blatant but I like that he canonically is!!!

Just in general, I’ve always been a Jedistormpilot shipper, and I feel the ending really leaves that as an open option I will happily take.

The bits with the Resistance and Leia did the best they could with Carrie’s footage. It was choppy and kinda obvious that footage was all they had to work with, but they tried their hardest and given what little they had to work with, I will unhappily accept it and the fact that Leia had little to no role in the story. I’m still really upset about it and her character’s death was so damn anticlimactic, but it was what happened.

Billy Dee Williams was charming and awesome as Lando, I loved seeing him, and he did a wonderful job, even if he was just a nostalgia cameo.

3PO was entertaining as ever! I liked him! They definitely sidelined R2 way too much, but I was glad to see 3PO and I was glad that he didn’t permanently lose his memory! The only thing I was kinda ehhh about was the bit with the dagger and the Sith language because the way he was suddenly able to translate it after not being able to translate it????? Did not make sense at all???????????

Abrams fucking got me with the nostalgia for a second during the Luke Force Ghost scene. I’m sorry, but I was so happy to see that Leia had done a bit of Jedi training then chose to give it up, I loved the callback to Yoda lifting the X-Wing but then Luke’s ghost did it-- COMPLETE WITH THE OG MUSIC!!!!! Mark knocked it out of the park and I just love seeing him.

Same for Ian and Sidious! While I personally did not like the Sidious plot at all and I will expand more on that later, I loved seeing Mr. McDiarmid again and he always just fills me with a bit of glee being his dramatic Palpy self because he’s just as good and as hatable as he’s always been and I thank him for it.

I think that was about it for what I liked, and honestly that was all the work of the talented actors and me being happy to see them pulling off their characters to the best of their abilities. The plot itself??? Ehhhhhhhhhh.....

Look, as I mentioned before, I liked the Jedistormpilot mission. That was fun.

The entire Resistance plot? Way way way too staggered and jumped around too much, not going into detail, felt a lot like it was trying to cram in everything with little payoff and not much emphasis placed on the importance of its plan so the audience really doesn’t get time to register everything that’s happening with them, let alone care about them

Naomi Ackie did a charming job with Jannah, I would have liked it if her entire plot didn’t kinda invalidate Finn’s overall story arc. I get they were trying to say “oh look! Finn’s not alone! There are other ex-stormtrooper rebels! Just like Finn!!!” Instead what it looks like is saying basically that Finn isn’t special, Finn’s defection wasn’t important overall, literally everyone does it, and it means nothing.

(Also going off of this, it really felt like JJ caved to the TLJ hate and totally sidelined Rose, she did like jacksquat in this and I’m mad)

The thing is, I don’t think the Resistance plot and the search for Palpy mission would have been as scattered and rushed and disorganized IF: Rey Palpatine wasn’t a thing, Reylo wasn’t a thing, and Force Ghosts were utilized more.

Look, I was fine with Palpy coming back (on a condition). Someone had to be the big bad and Disney is too worried about toy sales for it to ever be Kylo, so I knew Sidious could work-- provided they brought back the Skywalkers whose stories were intertwined with his and involved them in his ultimate downfall somehow.

I was fine with Rey Nobody. I was a little mad all the Skywalker legacy was going to her without her earning it really, but I figured that if the final film connected her with the Skywalkers properly, it would be fine, she had time to earn it.

Instead, we got little to no Skywalkers-- one Luke scene that meant nothing to the plot, scraped together Leia footage they could only take so far, and a fucking muddled voiceover from the man who Sidious screwed over the most, the one who originally killed him, the one who should have been THERE. Look, I should have known they would never actually bring Anakin back, but dammit, he SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. HE SHOULD HAVE. This was his story originally, like it or not, and the entire goddamn Sequel Trilogy never so much as said his name, even when they brought back the creep that destroyed his life and he was supposed to give his own to defeat.

Literally no one asked for the Rey Palpatine plot. It made no sense, you feel nothing for her “heroic” parents because you know literally nothing about either of them, the convoluted logic on why/why not Sidious wants her alive makes no sense. His goal makes no sense, it’s confusing, so he wants Kylo to kill her but he also doesn’t, he wants Rey there so she can kill him and he can transfer his life force into her and then he’ll bring the Sith back somehow with all that hooded crowd on the bottom of Exetor??? Where did they even come from?? What happened to the canon saying all the dead Sith were on Korriban? How is Palpy even gonna use Rey to bring back the other Sith???? When can his ghost/zombie corpse/whatever the fuck he is just fucking pull life energy out of people’s chests?

What they should have focused on instead of the timeline devoted to Rey Palpatine was keep Sidious as the threat, keep all his other “raising the dead Sith” stuff-- just move his hidey hole to Korriban dammit --and have all the Rey’s parents plot shift to scenes with her interacting with Luke and Anakin’s Force Ghosts trying to figure out how to take down Palps together once and for all. Let her get adopted into the Skywalker family by the only two who actually carried the name, not just have her randomly take it at the end after interacting with Luke freaking once. She has seemingly close relationships with Leia and Ben, dammit, in that case she should have been Rey Solo or Rey Organa.

Also have Luke’s Force Ghost replace the nonsense with whatever guy Luke was apparently working with to track down Sidious on Exetor-- we never saw all of that and having aaaaaall of that background wordvomited onto us by 3PO at once makes it jarring and confusing and forgettable. Literally just have Luke show up and tell them!!!!

Han’s appearance to Kylo on whatsitsname Endor water moon??? Also should have been Anakin if they really wanted to show Kylo/Ben’s beginning to turn (really it should have been Leia but again I get why they couldn’t) back to the Light via a convo with the dead. Like omgggg let him finally talk to the grandfather he was trying to impress!! The opening was right there???? But nope, Han is there, and I guess whatever he says is suddenly enough to turn him good again???

(THIS ALSO MEANS MY FUCKING FANFIC WAS RIGHT. HAN SOLO IS A FORCE GHOST. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ONE THING I PROCLAIMED WOULD NOT BE CANON. I’M THE NEW ORACLE OF DELPHI BITCHES. WHAT THE FUCK.)

Aaaaand this brings me to the romance. The fucking romance. Look, I’m sorry if you guys all do, I really am, and I respect if you want to unfollow, but I never have been able to stomach Reylo. Ever. I never saw the romance. I saw pain and abuse and one-sided obsession. Check that, I will admit that I always saw some sort of want from Kylo. Adam played him very much being obsessed with having Rey with him for some reason throughout all the films, but it also always played as toxic, and him not knowing what to do with that want, and just lashing out and abusing and forcing himself on her at every turn. It never played as a healthy relationship and it never played like Kylo should be rewarded for it. And this entire film???? I see still no romance???? Like the first half is just Rey being damn furious at Kylo, hating him, literally wanting nothing to do with him. I think another part of it is that I have never in the films seen Rey as having romantic or emotional feelings for Kylo, not ever. Not consistantly. It’s always just been an entire film’s worth of her despising him-- no not in an enemies to lovers UST despising, like actual hate and frustration --and then one singular bizarre scene that sticks out like a wart on a face where she suddenly does a 180 and is soft with him, like in the elevator scene in TLJ or the ending scene of TROS. I wouldn’t even say Rey feels soft for Kylo the first damn time she stabs and kills him before healing him. That to me seems a lot more like guilt to Leia her mentor over stabbing her son, and healing him for Leia’s sake than Rey actually wanting him alive. Maybe that’s just because from what I’ve seen, Daisy isn’t the biggest Reylo fan and just didn’t play it with her heart.

I’m glad Ben was redeemed, after what Sidious put that family through, I would have been upset with the last Skywalker descendant dying in Dark disgrace. But I’ve never been able to like his character really because they never fully let him be evil or an intriguing villain character, but they never showed him as good. I’m sorry, but the comics don’t do it for me either because it seems they’re just trying to slightly alter Anakin’s issues and problems and stick them onto him and go “see they’re the same!” and it just rings fake and irritating for me, and his sudden turnaround does not have the same weight behind it because I don’t even know what he really turned back to the Light for. Was it for Rey? That obsession didn’t look like love. Was it for Leia? We never got to see him speak two words to her. Was it for Han? Possibly?!?! That scene was not clear?!??!?!!?! It sure as hell wasn’t for Anakin or Luke because they weren’t allowed to interact with him at all. His return to the Light made no real sense because there wasn’t a clear motive besides “plot says so” and I Could Not See the logic in Rey suddenly wanting to make out with him, whether he saved her or not. Really the one good thing about it was that their lack of chemistry throughout the film means that if I ignore the fact that that kiss happened, it’s pretty easy to pretend they never got together ;D Plus, that Jedistormpilot hug at the very end tho, like I said, possibilities........

AND ANOTHER THING (god I really am a crotchety old lady), THE ABILITIES OF BEN AND REY TO BRING EACH OTHER BACK FROM DEATH. Rey effortlessly healed a straight saber wound through the gut that has fucking killed multiple trained Force users dead and even more non Force users, healed it in seconds. Now I probably seem like the biggest hypocrite here as I’m planning on having Anakin survive that same exact type of wound in a fic I’m writing (spoilers for those reading it lol but not really, did y’all actually think I was gonna kill him like that xD And that in no means says he’s gonna recover completely...), but the difference is that I’m not having him survive through someone else effortlessly curing the wound. If Ben survived that gut wound by healing himself, using his raw energy that all Skywalkers are supposed to have, I would be able to believe that. Self preservation will to live saved Vader on Mustafar, saved Luke, saved fucking Sidious.

But the matter is, if Rey was so powerful that she could just heal Ben from dying like that, why the fuck in the prequels is Anakin so panicked over his loved ones dying ever? He’s supposed to be the most powerful Force user in existence, more powerful than Rey, shouldn’t he have been able to do that for say, Shmi?? One might argue, “but Rey’s had training!” Who trained her? Leia, who learned from Luke, who learned from Obi Wan and Yoda, neither of whom knew how to fucking do that and pass it down, don’t tell me they did. The other option is that Rey did it untrained on natural talented instinct, which again, in that case, why couldn’t Anakin figure that out? Why didn’t any Jedi? Rey worked off of emotion healing Ben, Anakin should have been able to figure that out too. I will accept Ben’s energy transfer to Rey saving her after she died later as that literally killed him, that makes sense, trading energy at an equal point-- and further canonizes my theory that Sidious was able to steal and drain Padmé’s life energy through her bond with Anakin to save him after he burned, which was the actual reason Pads died in Ep 3. But Rey effortlessly bringing Ben back like that???? I just can’t, that just doesn’t work for canon for me. I’m sorry, but no.

My final issue is the sheer amount of ignoring this trilogy did of the prequels. I’ve already ranted about Anakin not showing up when he should and I will not repeat myself, this rant got long and I’m getting tired, but he should have been there, dammit. He really should have. Luke should have had more screentime. That bit at the end where Rey hears all of the other Jedi’s voices speaking to her??? I’m sorry, but that really does break canon! It was supposed to be only Qui Gon’s line, or those he taught and could pass it down, who could become Force Ghosts, and as delighted as I was to hear Kanan again and Windu and Luminara and everyone else, their voices should not have been there as they are not Force Ghosts! (and this is only partially me whinging over the fact that in my Force Ghost fic I have already stupidly proclaimed that only Qui Gon’s line has become ghosts and now I somehow have to fix that o_o)

(ALSO also the appearance of Ahsoka Tano amongst the voices means that she is dead which means they had the actual audacity to fucking kill her off OFFSCREEN with no explanation which grrrrrr)

One last whine about the romance, everything with Zorri Bliss and Poe seemed really forced and just another way for the script to blare out “HE’S NOT IN LOVE WITH FINN HE’S NOT HE’S STRAIGHT SUPER STRAIGHT LOOK LOOK LOOK”, tho Zorri’s character herself was fun without the forced romance.

Look, overall, I really liked the characters of the sequels, but I felt the plot was really poorly executed, and I really felt that this was not the “Skywalker Saga”. The Skywalkers felt cast aside and put in the background and ignored and totally invalidated. They were my favorites and I feel the narrative let them down and it makes my heart unhappy. It really feels like abusers like Palpatine and Kylo got to win at the expense of their victims, and that really makes my heart unhappy. That’s just my personal feelings. Nothing wrong if you did like it, but it’s just me. I miss my Skywalkers and their happy ending and I probably always will. I probs won’t ever really be satisfied with what happened to them, tho I will work my hardest on it. I guess that’s it.

#WHEW that took a while #like i said just my personal opinions please don't take it as an offense against you guys #morai musings #tros spoilers #tros #the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #star wars spoilers #sw spoilers #star wars #sw #episode 9 #episode ix #episode ix spoilers

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vaguely-concerned · 5 years

Text

TEMERAIRE LET’S READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN

- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:

I do love that one of his first realizations is that he’s definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name

- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and it’s only page 9 it’s going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling ‘HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???’

- “Yes,” [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence

(I am very much enjoying this uh. ‘setback’ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ‘now... from the top again, let’s see if you’ve been paying attention these last seven books’ haha. no one told me there’d be a test!!!!!!!!!!)

- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasn’t dismissed him out of hand)

- y’know... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations he’ll be blissfully, innocently unaware. that’s something, I suppose... well who am I kidding we’ll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway

- . . . and His Majesty’s Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land you’ve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars

- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post

temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!

them: what does he look like?

temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons

- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND you’re willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all you’d have to do was say something vague about how the ship can’t get too close to shore; it won’t actually help them and they’ll know it but you won’t make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious

- :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually

- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNET’S NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway

- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed

b o i

- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself

- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I can’t even think for how darling it is

also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite

aw man I love gong su

- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I can’t breathe

KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DON’T CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captain’s table. I. am. dying

thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the ‘friends, romans, countrymen’ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance

- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurence’s adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like ‘ah well nothing for it then guess you’ll have to stay on my ship and I’ll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old child’

junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and it’s a delight

- y’know this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah don’t think so no europeans ever is the greatest ‘fair enough’ in human history. (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)

- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling

- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why don’t you

- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons she’s the only one who has a lick of sense

- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* “Ma’am, I beg your pardon,” Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave

god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like ‘RUDE’ and “Ma’am, I beg your pardon” fdslfhsdlkjh

- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, i’m sorry about your life hammond

- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)

- bwahahaha yeah I’m sure the only reason this impressionable young kid who’s slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because he’s got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)

- aw junichiro :(:(:(

- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think you’re dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.

- “I am under an obligation to Junichiro,” [Laurence] said, quietly, “who you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?”

fdsfhsdkfsdja *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful they’re all such good people why must this happen why this

(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)

- “He is a prince of China, and my captain.” “The devil I am,” said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced

- good job making me cry whenever I read the words ‘principia mathematica’ naomi novik that was real nice of you

- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boy’s gigantic body mass is pure heart

- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whatever’s going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least it’s deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables

- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath

- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsyth’s ‘A Short History of Drunkenness’, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didn’t have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, let’s return to the book at hand

- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livin’ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that she’d find some way to have a good time down there

- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising he’ll take care of junichiro 😭 this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone

- I like how the incan dragons are told like ‘don’t pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equally’ while the poor japanese ones are told ‘actually don’t love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honour’ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa it’s not like they’re exempt from it, they’re just supposed to repress it to conform)

- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emily’s his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious

the descriptions of roland’s letters: even more delicious

- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurence’s robes and ‘hello darkness my old frieeeeend’ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isn’t really in a position to experience the relief

- He is very much a one-note character, but O’Dea’s resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny

- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god

- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. I’m bawling laurence’s dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everything’s a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurence’s natural loving impulse at war with his dad’s cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesn’t know what is right.............. oh b o y

- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic

- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit

- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji*

- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them don’t get any real page time in any given one -- I’m sitting here plaintively like ‘I realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough books’

- ouch memory loss isn’t stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(

there’s something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesn’t; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writer’s POV haha

- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiro’s political situation is in all this

they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile he’s just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than he’s ever seen in his life. it’s a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book

- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear

we don’t have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get u g l y

- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brother’s cardiac health tho

- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesn’t need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above

- laurence: approaches little

little: gay panic

- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Plato’s cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain

- oh hay arkady

poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. ‘oh shit arkady’s egg oh fuck oh crap’

- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god he’s great at what he does!

- laurence wouldn’t have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh

- thARKAY

.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck

(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like ‘well I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a job’ fhkjshdfkalhsd)

- I’m very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot

- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GOD’S SAKE is a go

- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me

- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahhha

haha

what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this

- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow

- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. That’s just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol

- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurence’s bed

(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do I’ll start crying and that’ll just be embarrassing for everyone)

- “I hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,” Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. “ -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?”

a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that he’s just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft

- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy

- “I am of the opinion,” Tharkay said, “that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.”

he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him.

- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks that’s literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didn’t matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary

also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster

- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back

- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh

- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that ‘those particularly magnificent robes’.... *prayer hands emoji*)

laurence is like ET TU BABE?????

I think this is very delicate gong su speak for ‘please do not be a dumb bitch your majesty’

hahaha chu knows what’s up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please don’t have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident

- “If I may cut your Gordian knot,” Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... we’ve come so far

- Also this means he’s close enough to Laurence’s height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, y’know, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since it’s pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)

- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didn’t do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???

- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks

- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him

- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I don’t read history so I don’t know. might be a great idea. who’s to say.

- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the ‘communicating complex information solely through eyebrow movements’ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*

- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. he’s just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move he’s made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesn’t have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)

- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)

ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that he’s like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf

ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.

- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, he’s finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again

- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. she’s so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds

- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not g r e a t but also... karma. y’know?

- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment ‘oh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked’ naomi novik

(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- she’s set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that I’d need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)

- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his father’s house and it’s Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, it’s shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.

also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple “Tenzing,” [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. that’s my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are

This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesn’t have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it I’m not that keen on reading it? That’s not the ending to this story I want, so I’ll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-don’t-like-this-choice-so-I’ll-ignore-it

(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because that’s not how it usually works in real life, but that she’d just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge she’s so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... that’s too much of a letdown to bear, really)

let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.

- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, who’s been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. that’s some good spy shit right there, he knows what he’s about

#temeraire #blood of tyrants #willzing #william laurence x tenzing tharkay #aaaaaaaaand last one for a while! I had a lot of fun with this one even though I lost focus for weeks at a time at some points haha #that's not the book's fault that's very much a me problem

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bre95611 · 5 years

Text

Castiel, Anna, and Dean in Season 4: Part One

Here we go! My very first meta. This will be a 3 part series looking into the relationships between Cas and Anna, Dean and Anna, and how the two relationships parallel each other during Supernatural season 4. Quick thanks to @agusvedder for helping me with the single gif in this post, both creating it and also walking my helpless self through saving it. Also thanks to @theirprofoundbond for all the motivation and kind words of encouragement! All quotes are from the Supernatural wiki transcripts. I would love to get some feedback on this, so feel free to send me a message and let me know what you think!

The first hint we get at a previous relationship between Anna and Castiel is almost entirely visual. In 4x10 "Heaven and Hell" Anna and Dean kiss when the angels have come for her, right before the demons show up. A lot of people view this kiss as Castiel's underlying feelings for Dean coming out in a look of jealousy of Anna for kissing Dean goodbye, essentially showing Castiel that they have since established a physical relationship. I don't necessarily disagree with this reading, but I propose a different reading as well.

I do think that Cas's budding feelings for Dean are at play here, I really do. But more than that, I think it's indicative of a previous relationship between Anna and Cas. Yes there is a jealous undertone in Castiel's look. But I think it's more jealousy of Dean getting to kiss Anna than the other way around. At this point in the narrative, we are dealing with a freshly reprogrammed Castiel. There is a marked difference in his actions regarding Dean and company. His feelings and doubts have been temporarily squashed due to what we can assume from the narrative as a whole as Naomi's doing. This is not the same angel as we saw last in 4x07, baring his proverbial soul to Dean on the park benches. This is Good Little Soldier Castiel.

Castiel's reaction to the kiss reads as jealousy and confusion. I believe it is jealousy of Dean getting to say a proper farewell to Anna. Some confusion as well because subconsciously he is also jealous of Anna getting to kiss Dean at all. I believe his blossoming feelings for Dean are still there, just buried too deep for him to realize it. However, reading this nearly famous Destiel scene only really makes sense in this context in later episodes, after seeing more evidence of a previous Castiel/Anna relationship.

The very next scene we get plays out as follows:

CASTIEL: I'm sorry.

ANNA: No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling.

CASTIEL: Still, we have a history. It's just --

ANNA: Orders are orders. I know. Just make it quick.

At this point, we already know that Anna was previously Castiel's superior officer. The textual reading of this scene is that commanding officer and subordinate relationship is the history Castiel is referring to. If you look at it through a different lens, Cas "served under her" in a different way entirely. I know its established that Anna is a virgin, but I don't think that a lack of a sexual relationship can discredit a romantic undertone to their "history". Now we all know Uriel is a scumbag, but he served under Anna all the same. So why is Cas given the spotlight during this scene? At this point, he isn't a major character. He's only had a bit more screen time than Uriel. I think this is to give the audience a feeling of Cas and Anna having a more invested relationship with the each other than she had with Uriel before she fell.

Another point to draw from this scene is Anna saying Cas doesn't know the feeling. She has been gone from Heaven for just over 20 years at this point. SO even though we know Castiel has been experiencing emotions and doubts, Anna has no way of being privy to that information, assuming him to still be a Good Little Soldier. I'll come back to this later.

NOW. Let's jump forward a few episodes. In 4x16 "On the Head of a Pin" Anna and Castiel have a conversation alone, when Dean is preparing to torture Alastair for information on who has been killing angels. And there's a lot to unpack there. Let's start with when she first shows up.

CASTIEL: You shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you.

ANNA: Somehow I don't think you'll try. Where's Uriel?

We have to ask ourselves WHY doesn't she think he'll try? The last interaction between the two of them makes it clear that she still thinks Cas is Heaven's hammer, "Orders are orders, I know." The viewer gets the benefit of being able to piggy back onto the previous conversation Cas and Dean had, where Cas confesses to Dean his superiors believed him to be experiencing emotions, the "doorway to doubts". But last time we see Anna and Cas interact, we see that she doesn't believe he can feel. So what can we draw from that? It has been established that they have history, which we all believe to be them working together. BUT would just working together cause Cas to disobey an order from Heaven? No. If anything, it would make it EASIER for him to follow through on the orders he was given to kill her, since she knows he has no choice but to comply. She had already made Cas aware that she knows he has no choice but to do Heaven's bidding. This change in her, originally KNOWING Cas had no choice but to follow orders to now, where she doesn't think he'll even try begs the question, WHAT'S DIFFERENT? Cas had an audience. He had Uriel there, who would no doubt follow through if Cas couldn't. Who would sell him out to his superiors if he couldn't kill her or tried to let her go free. This is only further proven by her follow up question, inquiring Uriel's whereabouts.

Cas follows almost all his orders from Heaven, the only ones he disobeys or, at the least, disagrees with that we have seen thus far is when it involves Dean, someone he has a profound bond with. SO what if he has a different type of profound bond with Anna? Something a little less profound obviously, but a significant relationship all the same. Throughout the show, we only ever see Cas betraying Heaven for those he loves and cares for. His intentions are always pure, albeit overwhelmingly misguided. It can be argued that she is his sister, but I don't think that really cuts it. I think in just this one scene, it could be viewed that way, but when you look at this show as a whole, it just isn't enough.

After Anna brings up to Castiel that it might not be God calling the shots anymore we have this:

ANNA: The father you love. You think he wants this? You think he'd ask this of you? You think this is righteous?

CASTIEL can't meet her eyes.

ANNA: What you're feeling? It's called doubt.

This is really only notable because of how much more qualified Anna is to make this observation than basically anyone because she herself has felt that. It is also her first acknowledgment that Castiel is beginning to feel things. It continues with this:

ANNA touches CASTIEL's hand.

ANNA: These orders are wrong and you know it. But you can do the right thing. You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But together, we can still-”

CASTIEL: Together?

CASTIEL yanks his hand away.

CASTIEL: I am nothing like you. You fell. Go.

ANNA: Cas.

CASTIEL: Go.

First of all, I will fight you if you think that hand touch is platonic. No way. Don't believe you. Beyond that though, this whole exchange screams lovers' quarrel to me. "You're afraid, Cas" is Anna further acknowledging Castiel's burgeoning feelings. "I was too" is calling back to her falling. She was scared to make the decision to rebel. The ultimate end to their relationship was Anna choosing to fall. Castiel pulls his hand away when she says "together" and that is the part he repeats and gets hung up on. He reacts as if her suggesting they do something together is almost a betrayal. Perhaps because the last time she suggested they do something together (like fall?) she didn't wait for him. She did it on her own. He gets hung up on her word choice because he can't believe they could do anything together again. This reading of the scene is furthered when we take into account what Anna says before Cas cuts her off. "We can still." The writers allowing the word "still" to be said is IMPORTANT. If she had just said "we can", the viewer can read into that a new beginning. Together, we can rebel. Together, we can change Heaven. BUT that "still". That implies a conversation had countless times before. We can still do what we had planned to do. You can still what, Anna? Still fall together? Still rebel together? Still follow the plan you two had set up before you fell without him?

Now, Cas's verbal response is just as important. "I am nothing like you. You fell." speaks to their differences being that she took action, not that he doesn't feel that way too. At this point, it has already been established that he DOES feel the same way as she does and did. And honestly, up until the "together, we can still" it seemed like she was gaining ground with our favorite angel. It was that reminder that there is no longer a "together" for them, the reminder that they can pick up where they left off, that she lost him. The reminder of their history is where their differences lie. They are just alike in their beliefs. Cas is nothing like her in the sense that he didn't fall. That he didn't do anything about how he feels/felt. The whole scene reads like a generically written past lovers fight where one person says "you left, not me" or "you changed, not me", but in the context of the show we get "you fell, not me."

Flash forward a couple of scenes. Cas has just learned that it is URIEL that is killing the angels. What an asshole, amirite? After learning this world shattering news, Cas calls for Anna.

CASTIEL: Anna. Anna, please.

The streetlight above CASTIEL flickers. He looks up, then turns around.

ANNA: Decided to kill me after all?

CASTIEL; I'm alone.

ANNA: What do you want from me, Castiel?

CASTIEL: I'm considering disobedience.

ANNA nods.

ANNA: Good.

CASTIEL: No, it isn't. For the first time, I feel...

ANNA: It gets worse. Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying.

ANNA puts her hand on CASTIEL's shoulder. He looks at it; she drops it.

ANNA: That's right. You're too good for my help. I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy.

ANNA turns to walk away.

CASTIEL: Anna.

ANNA stops.

CASTIEL: I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do.

ANNA turns back.

ANNA: Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself.

ANNA vanishes.

Now, I will be calling back to this scene in regards to the relationship Dean and Cas have, since this scene follows Sam and Cas talking at the hospital while Dean is injured. (Spoiler alert: the disobedience Cas is considering is to save Dean, big surprise, yeah?) But, its also important in regards to the Cas/Anna relationship as well. Cas calls for Anna because he knows she has felt all this before. He knows that if anyone can give him direction, its going to be someone that has experienced it all before. But once again, she tries to establish physical connection with him, and Cas is wholeheartedly NOT about it. The scenes from this episode between the two of them SCREAM old girlfriend trying to get back with her ex boy to me. As someone previously involved in a lengthy on again/off again relationship, maybe I'm reading too much of my own experiences into it, but I just really don't think so. This is a bit too on the nose for that. Even Anna's response feels like that to me. "I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy." It's her saying, oh I see, I forgot, you're too good for me. Using self-deprecation to try and score some pity points. I see you, girl. I see what you're trying to do. Cas steers the conversation back to what he originally called on her for, direction in regards to his feelings.

And Anna, little red-headed fire pistol that she is, fires back with some sass. "Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself." Now, textually, we can view this as her referring to when she was his superior. But with all this evidence of a previous relationship, and the implications of their conversation when Dean was torturing Alastair ("we can still") gives the subtextual reading of the "old days" referring to when they had likely begun talking/planning of rebelling and falling together.

Now if we view Anna as a past relationship of Castiel's, it makes all of season 4 way more Destiel centered. Perpetuating the idea the Destiel was always intended. Granted, Castiel was only originally going to be in a handful of episodes. I think 3 tends to be what I've heard the most. Now if that's the case, we can make the assumption that episode 7 was not originally going to have Cas, and neither was episode 10 or 11. Which makes the argument even more compelling, since, as you will see in the third installment, Anna and Dean's relationship is basically Destiel up until that point smashed down in to a 2 episode arc. Stay tuned, kids!

Part 2 is now available here!

#supernatrual #spn #supernatural meta #spn meta #spn 4x09 #spn 4x10 #spn 4x16 #Castiel #Dean Winchester #Destiel #Destiel meta #my meta

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ran-orimoto · 6 years

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Oh no, I don’t want Yang to suffer. Then, what about a funny scenario? I want them to be happy

Ok, sorry, Anon, I’m so in late I can’t find a proper way to be forgiven by you. SORRY!

Anyway, like I said before, I agree with you; even though I love drama (Killa-Senpai, thank you…), I don’t want these kids to be sad and unhappy.Nevertheless, Anon, I must reveal to you that Yang’s life is still unlucky, even if he finds himself in happy situations.

Obviously, the funny scenario I’m going to talk about is rapresented by their dates, and I also have to admit that, whenever I listen to one of my favourite songs, “Something stupid” by Frank Sinatra, I will eventually get these Itsuyang vibes, as that song sounds like if it’s really talking about them.

Let’s premise that Yang starts having a crush on Itsuki when he’s in high school, after having had a crush on Aoki Naomi for a year during middle school. At the beginning, he doesn’t even know what the hell is happening to him; why does he blush and feel his heart beating so fast, whenever he meets her? Why didn’t he feel like that when he was younger? Yeah, sometimes he can be even denser than Makoto, especially when it comes to Itsuki, as they have been friends since they were kids. After a while, he gets to realise he may have got a crush on her, but there are too many impediments in his opinion (Makoto is still in love with Itsuki, despite being engaged to Atsuko, isn’t he?). Therefore, he begins trying to forget about this feeling >, not succeding, though, because in the middle of a mission Itsuki kisses him and pushes him to give up. Still during their high school years, Itsuki asks him if he would like to go to a party with her.“Neh, Yang-Chan, I’m all alone, you know, and it’s so embarassing! I mean, I really care about being with those girls, but they all have got some boy to stay with! Please, Yang-Chan, pretty please?”Despite him accepting to join the party, they end up not going there and spending a night together; a sort of date, in nutshell, because they are also wearing a dress and a suit that fit the occasion XD. Obviously, Yang is as stiff as a trunk; indeed, he has been like that since they met to go to the party. He can’t figure out how to behave and understand if it’s in these cases boys confess to girls; he also wants to ask her why she had kissed him back then. Unfortunately for him, however, he discovers Itsuki has got a crush on her ice skating partner and, just when he is about to tell her about how he has been feeling lately, Itsuki receives that boy’s call and Yang is cut short, stockstill on a bench (I feel so bad for him).“Hm, Lee-Kun…I may…I mean, it’s so weird for me to say this but…Argh, I may…”“Sorry, Yang, I can’t refuse this one. It’s Daiki-Chan!”(He does notice she will stop adressing to him, using the Chan >, whenever that Daiki abruptly enters their conversations).

The years pass by and, even though Itsuki and Daiki are engaged, I like thinking that, whenever they split up, Itsuki will hang out with Yang (if he’s in Tokyo) like they used to do when they were teenagers. On the other hand, Yang is even more in love with her, despite switching to a woman to another one, failing miserably. Moreover, he will feel his heart breaking into pieces, whenever she tells him about what Daiki and her did before quarreling, because he would have liked to be in the young man’s place with all his might. He also becomes extremely convinced Karma is punishing him somehow. When she kissed him during that mission, he shouldn’t have stood still; he should have acted! Therefore, this one is his punishment: not being able to get what you refused in the past, but you want now in the present.After so many arguments, Itsuki definitely leaves Daiki and the first thing she knows she is about to do is asking Yang out, as she feels like if he’s the only person with whom she can be who she really is. You have no idea how crazy Yang becomes, when he hears the news. He finally has got his chance, but he can’t make up his mind. Should he drink so much to become the most brilliant man Itsuki has ever met? Should he learn to heart random mushy lines taken from some ancient book? An only glance at himself in the mirror drags him into the abyss of desperation. How could a beautiful woman like Itsuki fall for someone like him, after having been with that hunk of Daiki? In his opinion, she would even invent an excuse, after having discovered what he has become; still in his opinion, he has begun to look like a goat, thanks to the little beard he’s been growing. He starts wondering how he has been able to give Makoto love advices until that moment.This is how Itsuki and Yang begin going out very often, some times having long walks, some other times buying something to eat on his motocycle; occasionally they will also go to some disco, but during those nights Yang will feel like if he has really turned into a goat, looking at how many hot men are waiting for Itsuki out there. Actually, the whole night may also end up with Itsuki meeting some stranger, who’s so handsome that Yang’s beloved type of cocktail starts tasting like weed in his mouth; those strangers are so tall and have got such a well-defined body, while he’s very thin and quite short. Whenever that happens, he will begin rambling about the beautiful woman Itsuki has become, and he will bring himself to admit he doesn’t deserve her.Nevertheless, there are several gestures of hers, some bright smiles and laughs that tell him he shouldn’t give up, and that pushes poor Yang to pratice talking and kissing in front of the mirror. It has become so difficult going out with her and not making everything look ordinary. She’s so special, so she can’t receive and do ordinary things, as well as she can’t hear ordinary lines. Furthermore, before his eyes she is becoming more and more beautiful as the days pass by .He will try confessing for so many times, but he already understands a night is going to be badly from the beginning, since, for example, he has accidentally greeted her like if she is a first pilot. Will he conquer Itsuki’s heart? Will he restore Itsuki’s childish crush for him? Well, Itsuki has never stopped having a crush on Yang so, when he attempts to confess for the nth time cursing his shy personality, and hugs her desperately because he needs to have a woman like her at his side and to feel her smooth body pressed against his, Itsuki will obviously ends up saying “I love you too”.

It doesn’t matter how much time he has spent praticing to get the meaning come true, quoting Sinatra XD.

#ok this is the best one I could ever write for you Anon #yang #itsuki #makoto #daiki #itsuyang #tear jumpers #digimon tamers #zura replies to your sweet ask

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

6 AM ||Shalaska|| - Kitt

A/N: not good at sickfics or fluff whoops

Everyone was in Alaska’s room. She literally wanted to die. It was six o’clock in the morning, a whole hour before she actually needed to get up. She was too hot and too cold and felt like literal shit. Naturally, her first response was to wake up Willam, who didn’t take kindly to the idea of waking up early (“Suck a dick, I’m trying to sleep”), whose decided to get Sharon (“‘cause, y’know, you like her an’ all.”). Sharon brought Jinkx (“Don’t leave me, it’s dark!”), who brought Adore (“I think Alaska is dying.”) who told Courtney (“I’ve got to come, I’ll make her feel better!”). The next thing she knew half of her dorm was in her room. She buried her head in her pillow and sighed. Courtney patted her back, but that just made her feel worse.

“Courtney, if you don’t fucking stop that I’ll literally vomit. Don’t try me.”

Courtney removed her hand from Alaska’s back sharpish. Alaska still felt sick. She was visibly shivering. She rolled onto her back, an effort which took all the strength she had in her.

“I’ll get you a glass of water?” Adore offered, tilting her head. It was early, but she was totally wide awake. But she always was. Jacked up on Red Bull 24/7, Courtney had told her. The perkiness of her voice was only slightly getting on Alaska’s nerves.

“Yeah, that’ll help.” Courtney agreed. Willam rolled her eyes and straightened her pyjama top. It was blue and covered in little St Bernards, and Courtney thought that was incredibly cute. The volume in the room was increasing and even Willam thought Alaska would want a little peace.

“Look, you,” she pointed at Naomi,”And you, at Bob,”You, you and you,” Chad, Latrice and Phi Phi,”Out. Now.”

They grumbled but obliged anyway. Phi Phi gave Alaska a gentle hug, which was strange since they’d barely spoken outside of arguments. This earned a roll of Sharon’s eyes which, luckily, went unnoticed by Phi Phi.

“Hope you feel better for double chem.” Chad joked, her voice edged with amusement, shutting the door behind her. The sudden ‘bang’ was enough to wake up the entire school, let alone the dorm.

“Fuuuuuuck!” Alaska groaned, rolling over and burying her head in her pillow. Jinkx gave her an, ever so slightly awkward, pat on the back. It took all of Alaska’s willpower to not turn around and snap at her. She was trying her best but couldn’t help but mumble a feeble ‘stop, Jinkxy’. What a shame ‘Jinkxy’ didn’t hear her. She patted her back again, because, y’know, Jinkx really believed she was helping.

“Jinkx! Fuck off!” Alaska sat up and whipped her head around so quickly that Jinkx nearly fell off of the bed all together. Alaska probably yelled louder than necessary but, if Jinkx didn’t cut that shit out, she’d regret it.

“Sorry, ‘laska.” She squeaked, looking wounded as she relocated from the bed to the floor. Courtney giggled sympathetically before pulling gently on the sleeve of Adore’s pyjamas,

“Should we go? I think they’ve got this and, if you don’t get any more sleep, you’ll be pissed at me for not telling you to go to bed.”

Adore shook her head and laughed, but knew it was true. Before Alaska knew it, there was only her, Jinkx, Willam and Sharon left in the room. Jinkx still looked a bit offended when Alaska looked down at her, so she flashed her one of the famous smiles she usually only gave Sharon. That seemed to do the trick.

“Sorry for annoying you, Alaska.” She smiled, fiddling with the sleeves of her pyjamas. Alaska shrugged. She wanted to reply with actual words but, if she opened her mouth, she felt she’d literally be sick. And Willam probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

“What’s up, baby?” This time it was Sharon speaking to her. She sat down beside Alaska and gave her a somewhat hesitant hug. Another shrug. She wanted to pull away from Sharon, lie down, suffocate herself with her pillow, but something told her Sharon was making an effort, so she went along with it.

“C’mon, Lasky, what’s wrong?”

Willam was looked through narrowed eyes at Sharon from the opposite side of the room,

“If you make her fuckin’ vomit on the carpet, I’ll kill you.”

Sharon simply laughed in response to this. She brushed Alaska’s hair from her face before pulling her away, appearing surprised.

“Willam, she’s really warm.”

Willam shrugged before making her way to the door,”I’ll go get someone, then.”

She wanted out and then was the perfect opportunity. Jinkx watched the door shut before turning to Sharon,

“H-“

“Go with her, Jinkx.” Sharon cut her off. If she was to stay, Sharon knew Jinkx would inevitably be a third wheel.

Indifferent to being interrupted, Jinkx gave a small nod,”Ok, whatever. See you later, Sharon. Uh, Alaska? Hope you feel better.”

It was quiet after everyone had left. Alaska still felt like shit, but marginally better shit. She sniffed. Sharon didn’t know whether it was because her nose was running or she was crying. She guessed the latter.

“It’s ok, Alaska, you can cry if you want to.”

Alaska laughed slightly, but Sharon knew it was forced.

”I’m not crying, you fucking idiot, it’s my nose.”

But only seconds after she’d said that her giggles had turned into quiet, snuffling sobs. She couldn’t see Alaska’s face; she had turned away. It hurt Sharon to see her in such a mess, no matter how much they quarrelled. They were famous throughout Miss Charles’ School for Girls for their… disputes.

“Oh, Alaska.” She murmured, taking a deep breath. She’d never been good at dealing with tears.

Alaska gave a small sniff and buried her head in the crook of Sharon’s neck. Sharon began to absentmindedly run her hands through Alaska’s straight, blonde hair. The poor thing was still unbearably warm.

“Why are you crying, babe?” Sharon tried to keep her voice soft and quiet and not yell as much as she normally would? It was a bit of a dumb question, given the events of the morning, but Sharon didn’t have any words in her head that would make sense at that moment. Alaska shook her head. Sharon didn’t ask again. Instead, she chose to wrap an arm around her shoulders. And, eventually, Alaska spoke up.

“I feel so shit.”

That was all.

“Aww, I’m sorry.”

Because she didn’t know what else to say.

“At least you’ll get sent home. And miss double chemistry, like Chad said. Fucking lucky. But I guess you could’ve picked a better day; It’s Friday! You’d have been going home tonight anyway.”

“I know.” Alaska sniffed, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her PJs,”Boarding school fucking sucks, huh?”

Sharon shrugged, pulling Alaska’s hands from her eyes and using her own sleeve to dry the tears.

“Boarding school means I get to see you every day.”

Alaska had never heard Sharon say anything so mushy. It made her feel a little better to know they weren’t arguing. Again.

“I love you, Needles.” Her voice was only just loud enough for Sharon to hear. She kissed her hot forehead and Alaska thought if Sharon could just stay with her like this all day, she didn’t want to go home.

“I love you too, ‘Lasky. I’ll miss you today. It’s art and you’re not gonna be there to fucking crush me in paint.”

“Willam will probably do it. Tell Phi I said hi?” She joked, fully aware that Sharon would punch her playfully for even saying such a thing. Regarding Alaska’s current state, Sharon would usually come out with a mouthful of abuse about Phi Phi but she more or less dropped it. After all, Alaska probably didn’t want to hear her bitch about other people.

“Yeah, in your fucking dreams.”

Alaska smiled and everything was quiet.

“And… and will you come see me tonight?”

“You don’t even have to ask, even if you weren’t dying I’d still come.” Sharon giggled.

“That’s kinda poetic.”

“What else would you expect from me this early, on about three hours of sleep, a Red Bull and a wish?”

“Nothing less.” Alaska shrugged, but Sharon knew it was an effort.

“I hope you feel better tonight. You’re no fun when you’re sick.”

Alaska gave a faint giggle, looking bemused,”I can’t fucking help it.”

Sharon smiled,”I know. But if you’re gonna-“

She was interrupted by a sneeze.

“If you’re gonna be like this, you won’t let me leave. I’ll be stuck fucking cuddling you forever.”

“I don’t see what’s so bad about that.”

“You’re like my fucking cat.”

This seemed to lift Alaska’s mood ever so slightly. She gave a half hearted playful ‘meow’,

“I love Cerrone.”

“Sometimes I wonder if the only reason you’re with me is my cat.” Sharon cackled.

“Never! I’m with you for your good looks… your charming personality… your, uh…” She pretended to think, stopping,”I dunno.”

“Maybe my willingness to come to your fucking room at six am?” Sharon snapped, but it was only in a playful manner.

“Yeah. That too, I guess.”

#kitt #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #shalaska #fluff #au #boarding school au #rpdr fanfiction #sick fic #lesbian au

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winchesterprincessbride · 7 years

Text

Political Animals-Election Day (Part 15)

A/N: Warning for gun violence in this chapter FYI. Well we’ve come to the end of the road with this story. Thanks to everyone for your comments and your enthusiasm. There will be an epilogue after this, and then it’s on to the next story. Thanks for reading! Jen

This is an A/B/O AU. You are the Omega artist daughter of Naomi Novak, a world-class heart surgeon who is running for Mayor of New York City. After a meeting where your mother’s advisers call you a “liability”, she tells you that if you don’t do as your told she will cut you off. You storm out and wind up in a bar a few blocks away.

The hottest Alpha you have EVER laid eyes on with a scent so mouthwatering you’re practically drooling offers to buy you a drink. It’s just a drink, right? What do you have to lose? Only everything.

Characters: Omega! Reader, Beta! Naomi Novak, Alpha! Castiel Novak, Omega! Meg Novak, Claire Novak, Jimmy Novak, Alpha! Sam Winchester, Alpha! Dean Winchester, Alpha! John Winchester, Omega! Jo Harvelle

Big thanks to @moansmisha for letting me use some of her ideas from this post.

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

Parts in bold are text messages

It’s finally here. The day that has been the focus of the Winchester and Novak families for the past two years. Election day. Today is the that will decide it all. By the end of the night, we would know if all the back-stabbing, mud-slinging, and name-calling by my mother had been effective enough to win her the election.

John had flat out refused to stoop to her level. If he was going to be the mayor, he was going to do it the same way he did everything else, with honesty and integrity. I admired him for that.

This election had truly brought out the worst in my mother. She used every opportunity to bad mouth us in the press. The latest story she had concocted was that Sam had gotten me pregnant to trap me into marrying him. Seriously??

Sam was much better than me at ignoring my mother’s bullshit and laughing it off. I was hormonal and cranky and I usually just wanted to wring her neck on a regular basis. Cas was at a total loss. He told me on the phone the other day he had no idea who my mom was anymore.

“My best guess is she’s been replaced by an alien…..or a robot…” he joked.

“Or she’s just lost her damned mind,” I complained irritably.

“May the best man win,” Cas said seriously, and we both laughed.

“How are my niece and nephew doing?” he asked, trying to change the subject. He knew my mother was a very sore topic for me lately.

“Eight more weeks. My belly is so huge, I haven’t seen my feet in ages. Sam has to put my shoes on for me. They are gonna have to roll me into the delivery room, that’s how enormous I am.”

“Are you going to be able to go vote today?” He asked.

“Are you kidding? I’ll get to the polls today if I have to CRAWL there, Cas.”

For the past three months, I had been campaigning for John. I had come to every event that Sam and Dean had attended. The last one before the election had been the final debate between John and my mother. She had forbidden Cas and Meg from talking to me, a command they had promptly ignored.

She had glared at Sam all night, and she wouldn’t even look at me. During the debate she had taken so many thinly-veiled potshots at Sam I was ready to confront her then and there.

“It’s not worth it, Y/N,” Sam told me, enfolding me in his arms and holding me tight until I had breathed deeply and his scent had calmed me down. “She’s trying to provoke you. If I can let it go, so can you.”

We skipped the reception after the debate because these days I tired easily and that way I wouldn’t have to see her again.

John, Sam, Dean and I entered the polling place amid the flash of many cameras. It was time for the Winchester family to cast their votes for mayor. Somewhere across town, my mother, Cas, and Meg were doing the same thing. I handed the woman my drivers license and signed my name. I entered the voting booth and she closed the curtain behind me.

I did my voting for the other elections first and left mayor until last. I stood for a moment and looked at the names. John Winchester. Naomi Novak. I thought for a moment about how much this election had changed my life for the better.

I had gained an Alpha, a mate, and ultimately a husband, but more importantly, I had gained a family. And in a few months, I would have pups of my own. I would do my best to be a good mother and to always make sure they knew I loved them.

I look a deep breath, pressed the button, and exited the booth.

We were all spending the night at the Lowell Hotel in the city, where we would watch the election returns and hopefully celebrate John’s victory party. As fate would have it, Cas had told me they would be watching the returns with my mom from a suite at the Westin, which was just three blocks away.

The police had been unsuccessful in tracking down my father. He always seemed to be one step ahead of them. It was as if he knew they were looking for him. The letters and pictures had stopped, so I hoped that maybe he had left New York City altogether. I would be glad when this election was over and we could all get back to our regular lives.

Dean, Jo, Sam and John had gathered in the living room of John’s suite to eat and watch the early returns. I had decided to lay down for a bit because my back had been bothering me all day. Sam had offered to stay with me, but I told him to go on ahead.

“I just need to rest for a bit. Go get some food. You must be starving. I’ll be along shortly.”

I hadn’t even laid down yet when my text alert beeped.

Cas: Y/N: I need to talk to you. It’s important. It’s about your father. Can you meet me at the Starbucks at the end of the block in 10 minutes?

Y/N: Okay. I’ll see you in 10.

It didn’t even cross my mind to question Cas or to tell Sam where I was going. I’m such an idiot! I headed for the nearest elevator and was walking through the lobby and out the door of the hotel minutes later.

I was halfway to the Starbucks when I felt an arm reach out and grab me from the alley, something hard slam against the back of my head, and everything went black.

My head felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat. When I opened my eyes fully and the room stopped spinning I realized I wasn’t alone. A man sat on the chair across from me watching me intently. There was something familiar about him, but I couldn’t quite place him.

Then it hit me. He was the man I had chased the day I had gotten hit by the car. And he had a gun pointed directly at me.

“Hello, Y/N. It’s nice to finally meet you in person.” He told me. “Don’t try to run, I will use this if I have to.” He gestured towards the gun.

“You’re my father, aren’t you? Your the one who’s been sending me the letters and pictures?” I asked quietly.

“I’ve been watching you ever since I learned of your existence. After my parents sent me away, your mother sent word she’d miscarried. Lying bitch! All this time I had a daughter and I never knew it. She never once came to see me or answered any of my letters. All that lost time….”

My father had a manic, faraway look in his eyes. He was clearly off his meds and completely out of his mind. I had to try to talk him down and get out of here before he hurt me.

“I’m sorry for how my mother treated you. She has a habit of lying to people.” I said softly.

When someone knocked softly on the door at the far corner of the room I stiffened with fear and my eyes immediately flew to my father. What was he going to do? Shoot the person?

He got up at looked at me intently. “Do not move from that spot, “ he said, raising the gun in my direction threateningly. He walked over to the door and looked into the peephole.

I tried not to squirm too much in my seat because my back had really begun to hurt and the babies were moving all over the place. When I looked up and saw who my father had by the arm and was pulling towards where I was sitting my heart fell.

“Mom?”

Sam’s POV

“Y/N must have dozed off. I’m gonna go check on her. I want to make sure she eats something.”

It had been over an hour since Y/N said she was going to rest her back. We had all gotten caught up in the election returns and time had gotten away from us. I excuse myself and walked back to our room. The bed hadn’t been slept in, and the room was empty.

I immediately called her cell, and I got her voice mail. I was just about to go down to the lobby to see if she was there when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, expecting to see Y/N’s number, but it was Cas. Why was Cas calling me?

“Hello?”

“Sam, it’s Cas. My mother is missing. Do you know where Y/N is?”

I stood up at the sight of my mother and immediately doubled over in pain. The pain in my back had gotten unbearable. There was a sudden gush of warm fluid down my legs and my dress was soaked.

“I think my water just broke,” I whispered in a small voice. “It’s too soon! The babies aren’t due for another 8 weeks!”

My mother turned to my father. “I don’t know what this is, Greg, but your quarrel is with me, not Y/N. Let her go, and I will stay here.”

My father’s face contorted with rage. “NO! No one is leaving! We are finally together. Everyone stays. Naomi, you’re a doctor, you take care of her.”

“Can I lay her down, at least?” My mother asked.

He pointed the gun towards the couch, and she helped me onto it. “How far along are you?” she asked.

“32 weeks. Fraternal twins. A boy and a girl. My back……it hurts!” I muttered through gritted teeth.

“Why are you here, Mom?”

“I got a text saying I needed to come here right away alone because you were in danger and to tell no one or you would be killed.” She said miserably.

I immediately burst into tears. “I want Sam!” I moaned as the pain in my back had me curling into a fetal position on the couch.

My mother stood up and turned to face my father. “I’m sorry I lied to you! I’m sorry I kept Y/N from you! But I had no choice! You weren’t leaving the clinic, and Charles had threatened to take my son away from me if I left him. What choice did I have?” She demanded. “You need to let Y/N go! She is in labor!”

“You never visited me! You never even wrote me a letter! You just went on with your life as if I didn’t exist!” He bellowed, completely ignoring her comment about me being in labor.

This went on for hours. My parents fighting, and me on the couch, my pain getting worse and worse. My mother continued to beg my father to let me go, but he refused.

“I haven’t done a pelvic exam since medical school, Y/N, but I need to see how far along you are in case I need to deliver these babies, okay?” My mom finally asked in a gentle voice I had never heard her use with me.

I nodded. My Mom washed her hands and cleaned them with hand sanitizer. She examined me quickly and turned to my father. “You need to let her go, NOW! One of the babies is breech. She won’t be able to deliver without a C-section.”

“No.” My father said simply.

“This is your daughter and your grandchildren, Greg. Whatever grudges you hold against me, none of this is her fault. End this NOW!” My mother demanded, her eyes blazing with fury.

My pain got worse and worse. My mother continued to monitor me as my father paced, muttering to himself. My mom leaned over me. “Listen carefully, Y/N. Do you think you can run?”

“What?” I whispered, “Why?”

“I am going to distract him and try to get the gun away. You need to get out of here and get to a hospital. There is no way that baby can be born without a C-section, it’s completely turned, I felt its feet. When I say run I want you to go as fast as you can and don’t come back no matter what. Can you do that?”

“But Mom, I don’t know if I can. What about you?” I whispered.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to help you sit up now.” She helped me to a sitting position and I moaned in pain. “Wait for my signal.” She told me, and in a rare show of affection, she kissed me on the forehead.

My mother stood up, threw her shoulders back, and Dr. Naomi Novak was in the room. ‘Greg, you are going to let Y/N go RIGHT NOW! I will not have the lives of my grandchildren put at risk because of some silly vendetta!” She got right in his face.

“Sit down, Naomi.” He told her coldly.

My mother reached out and attempted to wrench the gun from his hands, they began to wrestle for control of it. “Run, Y/N!” My mother screamed.

I took off as fast as I could, completely disassociating myself from the pain in my body. I wrenched open the door at the end of the hall and flew through it just as the gunshot sounded. I took a few steps before my legs gave out and I fell to my knees. The pain was overwhelming. I never even heard Sam bellow my name before I blacked out.

Part 16 (epilogue)

Tagging: @skybinx-blog @percywinchester27 @a-sea-of-fandoms @dorky-and-i-know-it@fangirl1802 @pinknerdpanda @atc74 @moonlitskinwalker @we-are-band-sexuals@jayankles @notnaturalanahi @ariannalikescake @growningupgeek @itsummertime22 @roseblood11 @demondeansdomme@cantchoosejustonefandom @ferferelli @midnightjazzmine @dr-dean@clairese1980 @moonstonemystyk @obsessedtmifangirl @bailieinabottle@mesomisha54 @agoodold-fashionedvillain @brewsthespirit-blog @fucking-grapefruit @typicalweirdbookworm @the-strandedgypsy@meganwinchester1999 @maddieburcham1 @diabetus-swag @bohowitch@mizzezm @winchestergirl-love @vixenvindictive@theoriginalvicki @ayeeitsemry @kittenofdoomage@oriona75 @jotink78 @the-cucumber-who-lived @magickal-angel @gecko9596 @winchester-writes @valynsia @ronnie248-blog @inuhimesblog @phoenixia67 @afanofmanystuffs@sassy-losechester @mariairwin666@essie1876@shell-fire @becaamm @aalexandra2712 @stone-met@maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals@thelittleredwhocould@just-another-busy-fangirl@sunriserose1023 @blacktithe7@ajspencer1892 @mamabear82nd@notateenbeachmovie @i-just-wanna-live-gc @calicat79 @lovisathelins@evyiione @captainradicalpassion @scrumptiouswinnie @millaraysuyai @keelzythe2nd @disneymarina @blackcat995

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kiss-my-freckle · 7 years

Text

Red & Liz

References. Part 1 of 2.

It's as if people are accepting dialogue while completely excluding the order of events because god forbid it makes sense.

Ressler.

“Sounds like someone’s a little jealous. Uncle Red’s got a new crush.” “What’s going on with you and Reddington? You two have a little lovers’ quarrel?” “What, are you in the doghouse?”

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have romantic feelings for my uncles.

Why Ressler also gave us this- “The difference is you’re not in love with Reddington.”

Cooper.

In 4x22: Liz: Procured a sample of Reddington’s blood? From evidence? That’s tampering. Cooper: Yes. And I should’ve done it the day he surrendered.

So Cooper at least thought of that connection upon Red's turning himself in.

In 4x6: Cooper: It shouldn’t be a surprise. You must have known there was a chance she’d discover Kirk was her father when you put him on your list.

Now why would Cooper believe Kirk is Liz's father here? Uhm... duh. Probably because Liz spoke to him about that fabricated DNA report in his office. Rewind the fucking episode if you have to-

Liz: Alexander Kirk is my father. Cooper: You have proof? Liz: Yes. DNA evidence of who my father is and who’s been lying to me for the past three years. Cooper: As I said, I don’t know how you bear it, but we have a job to do, and we can’t do it unless you can work with Reddington.

Madeline Pratt.

Pratt: Tell me about her. How did you pick her? Red: Fate.

Let's talk about fate. Fate is by chance, not by choice. It was Red's choice to build a criminal empire to protect Liz for the past 20+ years. It was Red's choice to protect Liz from the shadows for the past 20+ years. It was Red's choice to re-enter Liz's life after 20+ years, and “picking” is the same damn thing as choosing. That isn't fate. That's choice.

You know what is fate? Red being Liz's father, a child conceived through Katarina's affair rather than her marriage. Liz, fated to be safe from Kirk's blood disease- not because she was born a girl, but because she was born of a different father. Because fathers determine the gender.

Madeline: She’s a little young for you. Red: Ya think?

Red's nodding "yes" and getting a little sarcastic with his "Ya think?" He agrees with her. Why? Probably because she's young enough to be his daughter because she is his daughter.

Berlin.

“That’s why we’re sitting here today. Because of Keen. I know you care for her as much as you care for your wife."

Now this is interesting, since I believe Naomi is Red's estranged sister rather than his wife.

Tom.

For Tom, it’s not about what he believes is truth, but a connection he believes Red is trying to sell her. Now why would Red sell this connection to Liz if he’s in love with her?

In 1x19: What is his obsession with you? You guys got like a uh, daddy–daughter thing going on? What’s your plan? Is daddy coming over? Is he gonna make me talk?

In 2x20: That mean Reddington’s your dad?

In 3x11: Why? Because I didn’t ask daddy’s permission?

In 3x16: Maybe he’ll be walking you down the aisle.

Kirk. Like Tom, Kirk believes Red is trying to sell Liz the daddy-daughter connection.

In 4x1: He and your mother had an affair. For a time, I thought maybe he was the father, but I have proof that he’s not.

In 4x2: We’re a family. Not Reddington. Us.

In 4x2: All the stories Reddington’s told you about who he is and his connection to you– he knew you were looking for answers and he took advantage of that to re-enter your life. But the answers you’ve been looking for are here.

Dom.

If not for blame, Dom compares Red’s loss of Liz to his loss of Katarina.

Red: I’m sorry, Dom. I understand. Dom: No, you don’t. You don’t understand. You think because Masha’s dead, now you… you can understand me? You can… you can share my misery? Red: I feel bereft, just like you. Dom: No, not just like me. She’s gone because of choices you made for both of them. First Katarina and then Masha. As far as I’m concerned, you killed my entire family! No, you’re not like me.

Liz.

Even Liz questioned whether or not Red is her father. It's the reason she asked him in 1x10: Are you my father? It's the reason she said this in 1x22: Why? Because he’s a fugitive on the Most Wanted list?

And in 2x16: Judge Brenner: You said before that Reddington had answers to questions you hadn’t even thought of. Has he given you any? Liz: Well… There was a time early on when I thought, because of his implications, that he might be my father. Judge Breener: You didn’t know your father? Liz: No. He died in a fire.

You know why Liz believed her father died in the fire? For the same reason she said it In 2x20: "My father died when I was 4, in a fire.”

Uhm... duh. Because she just had her memory recall In 2x10: “What I remember is leaving my father dying on the floor of a burning house. There’s no way he could have survived that.”

In 2x22: And I know why my father died that night. I shot him.

You know why Liz believed she shot AND KILLED her father? For the same reason she thought he died on the floor of a burning house after her memory recall in Braxton. She had a flashback with Connolly, and... “There’s no way he could have survived that.”

That’s why she spoke of both Red and Sam at the end of 4x8. That “is he or isn’t he” returned to the back of her mind.-

Of Red: Except for one. YOU. You told me my father died when I was a little girl. I just… I guess I didn’t want to believe it.

Of Sam: I really wanted my dad here to see her grow up.

In 4x22, Red got upset with a statement Liz made- "Because it did come naturally. And that terrifies me."

It upset Red because he doesn’t want her terrified of him or their world.

You can see the pain in his eyes as he responds- "Elizabeth, if you need to walk away–" But you see how comfortable he is in holding a woman who believes him to be her father? Yeah... that’s a father getting sprung back into the emotions of being a father.

Red doesn’t know who put in for the DNA test, and he has no idea where the DNA sample came from because it was done through a private lab. Still, no surprise on his face of a DNA report confirming he’s the father.

You know why Dembe asked: “You didn’t deny it?”

Because Red’s been denying it for 20+ years, the last four... denying it to Liz.

#Anti-Lizzington #daddygate

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fr-blackiebelle · 7 years

Text

The Sunrot Resurrections: Part III - The Chieftain and the Lord

First | Next | Back

@incalyscent, @tangelojack, @yuushanoah-fr, @serthis-archivist, @pinkangel725

Aramis thought that his granddaughter was strong for taking such a long time in dying.

Juarve had been in the Wyrmwound longer then Matisse who was baptized in it, and even longer then Damaris, who had walked through it to save a child. The time was reflected on her skin, red and raw as it was.

Great swaths of flesh corrupted black and purple and green stretched over her ribs, her hips. The pustules grew dreadfully large, and when they burst they leaked a yellow and red pus that drew flies. They all smelled infected to him.

But, to her credit, Juarve was silent. She did not moan or cry out, though tears flowed freely down her ruined face. Her nose was gone, leaving only a pair of mishapened black pits, as was her ears and eyes. Her antlers had melted down into stubs, like a spent candle. They both fell off at his touch.

Her skin, where the cysts hadn’t formed, was scorched and cracking. Great ravines of red streaked up and down it, tearing wider whenever she moved. Her hands had been eaten away, and Aramis could see the white of her bones and tendons in the little that remained. Her feet and wings were the same.

He had taken hold of her in the Wyrmwound, when she was thrown in as sacrifice, and pulled her out alongside himself.

He had died. He had died with smoke in his lungs and fire and traitors all around him.

But he was resurrected. His fur was the same as before, perhaps even healthier and not dull with malnutrition. He felt jittery. There was a light inside him, in his chest and belly, and Aramis could see the jagged shadows of his ribs when he looked down.

When he had crawled from the Eleven Hells, throwing his granddaughter down beside him, two ghosts from the past stood before him, both as dead as he. They had sunk to their knees and bowed their heads.

There was Mars, who had abandoned him when the fire broke loose. The fae looked the same as he did, though the light in his pale green eyes was jubilant and his back was a little more stooped.

Then there was Toril, who had been dead for decades. The pale guardian stood as strong as the day they met, proud and powerful. One of her eyes was red, and the other was light. Both her and his advisor wore armor, of a fine make, likely from the Ruins.

After they were through with bowing and pledging obedience, they rose and set to work on dressing Aramis in a armor of his own. The cuirass was fine ebony, inscribed with runes and filigree, with teeth of steelscale to give shape to the tops of his shoulders. The pauldrons were of a darkened steel, and fastened with leather straps that stretched across his breastplate and back. His gauntlets were heavy ebony, fully enclosing his fingers and stretching to his elbow. The tips were pointed like claws.

Besides those, he was given a plated tail guard, a kilt, a sash, a wing banner, and his headdress. It was not the same one he wore before, Mars confessed, but he had it made to memory. Aramis found that he had missed the weight of it.

As Mars helped him don his armor, his hands smoked and burned whenever he touched the metal, while Toril was not burned. Aramis questioned this, and was told that both their armors had a massive amount of Light enchantments on them.

It was difficult for Mars to handle them, as a Wind dragon, and Plague or Shadow dragons would be badly affected by it as well. Too much exposure would likely lead to a overexposure of Light magic. The Lady of Light had aided in their rebirth, which was why Toril’s eye shone gold and Aramis’s chest shone like a lantern.

Once he was suited up, it was time for the journey through the Boneyard. North was where Ives had taken the clan, and by the sounds of it, he had been busy.

Mars explained as they traveled. “Ives has taken it upon himself to forge alliances. Many of them have fallen through, with hostages returned or runaway, but some of them have worked out well.”

Hellreek was not a figure of folk lore, they were quite real and they had one of his bastard daughters. Rusvai, the youngest. She apparently insisted on dressing all in white to differentiate herself from him. In exchange, they had one of Akeelah’s sons. He was gentle, though his mouth was death.

When Aramis asked of the relation between the clans, Mars nearly laughed.

“Virulent,” Mars said, with a practiced tone of mirth, “Is in bed with Hellreek. Quite literally these days.”

Half of Virulent was courting and bedding one Hellreek or another, he learned. One of Naomi’s sons had a mirror back at the lair, on a clutch of his eggs, while one of his sisters was at Hellreek’s lair, with a son of the legendary Death From Above.

Just the other week, Ives had sent a strong mirror pup to Hellreek, in exchange for pick of the nest of any clutch laid to their warriors. If there was any friendship at all in the Wasteland, there was friendship between Hellreek and Virulent.

They called it the Hellrot Alliance.

The conversation changed to Ives, of the self-styled Lord Chieftain of Virulent. He had taken the Vogelzang skydancer, Cosette, as bride. The same one that he had given to that drunken oaf so many years ago. He had fathered a army off of her, and gave most of the children away as hostages, so he could foster a child from another clan’s leader.

The conversation changed to his grandchildren, of the black and grey beasts that wanted the Lord Chieftain’s favor so badly. Six of them remained in the clan, as well as a great-granddaughter, a great great granddaughter, and two bastards Aramis had gotten off of Amiria.

If they were to quarrel for the crown, grey-blue Tergailia would have the most supporters, though the blue-grey guardian, Iliutas, would win in a fight if they fought honorably.

Ilgeslys would win if they fought dirty. Kivka would kill the victor.

The conversation changed to Vogelzang, of the overthrow of Humboldt and the fleeing of Valjean and Mariele. They stole one of Sieghilde’s children when they fled, and all of them were infected with shadow magic. Cosette’s mother had to be sealed in a suit of armor and bound in prayer ribbons to keep her together.

They had barely spoken to Vogelzang since Merchannwyl took charge, and rarely received shipments anymore. They had not received word of Lorelei’s death, as of yet.

On the horizon, the great cliff of Dragonhome appeared.

The Lord Chieftain had hidden the entire clan in a great series of caverns, charming the entrance with protective wards that he thought would protect them.

They camped within sight of it, not setting a fire. They would approach tomorrow.

Aramis expected a fight.

As they approached Clan Virulent, as soon as they came over the rise, they were contested.

Two guardians stood at either side of the entrance, though they were too far away to make out faces. Before long, a swarm of four came from the cavern to meet them.

The first to reach them was a brown, stout Imperial. He had a grand rack of antlers, and wore worn leather clothes. A wolfskin cloak was tied at his throat with a small bronze medallion. He walked with his chin low to the ground, like a stalking dog, and moved to cover their left, besides the cart. (Mars had vanished, he noted. Likely hiding in the back.) Aramis did not know him.

The second was another Imperial, taller than the first but still short. His skin was a pinkish-tan, with redline markings. His mane was wavy and pink, and he wore a solidscale breastplate. The rest of his armor was leather, dyed reddish-brown, and polished steel. He walked with his head high, like a scared dragon pretending not to be. He covered their right, to stare down Toril. Aramis did not know him.

The third was a guardian, lean and graceful. Her scales were a lovely blue-grey, though her true horns and her broad wings were a dull black. A crown of heavy black antlers sat upon her head. She was obviously the leader of the bunch, and judging from her antlers, Aramis presumed they were kin.

She had put great care into her ensemble - a woven chest piece of black and red leather that went to her waist, with a red kilt and red breeches underneath it. A bow, grand and deadly, was in her hands, and the quiver of arrows was bound around her waist with a belt. She wore a cloak that was half red, half purple, tied at her throat with a ash-lace collar.

Her arm guards were leather, dyed a similar grey-blue as her skin. Her left arm guard was scaled with polished steel on the top, leading up to a single ebony pauldron. The banner that hung from it was a midnight purple, decorated with the black antlers they all beared. Ives had removed the headdress from Virulent’s device. He would fix that, soon enough.

The guardian stood tall before him, eyes fixed on him.

Aramis’s voice was rough and deep. He cut off his granddaughter before she could start.

“You’re Iliutas, aren’t you? I believe we are related.”

This took her at a surprise, and it flashed on her face. Aramis was thinking that she had to have been of his great-granddaughters, since Cosette was a skydancer.

The slight shock vanished, and her voice boomed elegant and strong.

“That I am, though I can’t say if I we’ve met before. Do you have business with Virulent or the Lord Chieftain?”

“I do. I would like to see Ives, as soon as I can.”

“And who are you? So that I may tell him.”

“An old friend.”

It took Ives long enough to emerge from the cavern.

The two imperials had waited with them while Iliutas headed back, and it was close to a half hour before she returned to the surface, a red ridgeback and a black tundra (comically small besides all these giants) alongside her.

The Lord Chieftain walked with his guards on either side of him. He walked with purpose, with his head and antlers high. His blue-black mane was braided, he wore fine armor, and he did not wear a headdress.

The red ridgeback at his side did not have a nosehorn. He was missing a eye, and the other eye was a bright pink. His backspines and wings were chipped and torn. Aramis recognized his tarnished armor, he recognized the dragon he had raised from a hatchling.

Ivarr stopped when he recognized his Chieftain.

Ives stopped when he recognized his father.

They both screamed.

Ivarr’s scream was a wordless wail, like a parent who was told their child died. His legs went out under him, and the ridgeback went down to lie among the dust and bones, his hat fallen over his eyes.

Ives’s scream was a pained bellow, like a bull with a struck side. He was backing up, shaking his antlers and braids, his red eyes wide.

“YOU ARE DEAD, I WATCHED YOU DIE. I WATCHED YOU DIE.”

Iliutas had stopped, looking back at her Lord Chieftain. She stood tense, all the guards stood tense, but they did not attack.

Then, at the entrance to the caverns, a horn blew. A low, mournful note that echoed throughout the Wasteland, echoed from the Pillar to the Icefield. Three heartbeats later, the warriors of Virulent came tearing out.

The pink-maned Imperial leapt at Toril, and she took him with her teeth. She slammed into him, knocking him onto his wings, and moving atop of him. She pressed her golden gauntlets onto his throat, and golden smoke billowed forth at her touch.

The worn-leather Imperial lunged for Aramis, and the Chieftain prepared to meet him . . . only for Ivarr to attack from beneath. His hat had flown off, and he came down upon his fellow guard with particular savagery, threatening to open the Imperial’s belly with his claws, while the Imperial wrapped his jaws around his neck.

And Ives, the Lord Chieftain of Virulent, took a step towards Aramis, towards his father.

Both of them bared their fangs.

They rushed at each other with the ferocity of bulls, and met each other with their heads down. There was a great crack as their antlers hit, and a tine went spinning off into the dust. Both of them reared, claws against each other’s chests, roaring as they did.

Ives tried to bite at his throat, and Aramis did the same. Ives was wearing a gorget, he was not.

He was taller than his son, but Ives weighed more, and was more heavily muscled. He was half Snapper, and had the jaws of one. Ives shouldered him, and knocked him backwards. Ives was on top of him, gold and red smoke curling upwards from his black hide wherever the armor touched him.

No, Aramis thought, seeing colors unimaginable, I will not die again so soon.

Gathering his strength in his hind legs, he kicked out and tried to dislodge his son.

Nevertheless, he did not let go.

He cursed himself for having laid with that Snapper in the first place, cursed himself for not keeping the runt instead. In desperation, he reached up and grabbed at his sons face, trying to find some leverage, trying to make him falter, trying to -

Aramis’s gauntlets had sharped claws.

The thumb had caught Ives in the eye.

His howls were hellish.

His son released him and reeled backwards, ripping off and throwing down his own gauntlets to touch his ruined eye. He stumbled, and came down to his knees, clutching his face with his naked hands.

“Do you yield?”

Ives lifted a hand away, the other still cradling his jaw. The eye had been put out, and ran red down his face and neck, running down his gorget and down his breastplate in a great swath.

And where Aramis had touched his son, the fur had burned. It had scorched black, with gold cracking in the raw flesh underneath.

The remaining eye burned with hate and fear, surrounded by red and gold and black.

Ives spat a mouthful of blood, and it struck the ground at the Chieftain’s feet.

#FINALLY #enjoy kiddos #aramis #ives #toril #mars #Iliutas #ivarr #paro #andisol #mars is hiding so nobody recognizes him and goes '?? who are these dudes??#Virulent Lore #Clan Lore

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