#Also if I ever do write prose sections of this

[glitchafton]

Vanessa: *Vannycostumedesign2.png*

Vanessa: No but seriously, do you have any notes? I'm not buying a scrap of fabric until you tell me it's okay.

William: it's fine

Vanessa: >:(

Vanessa: If you hate it just tell me.

William: I don't hate it, I'm looking at design6 and 7 and I think the eyes might be overkill, and I'd like to see proof that you're not impairing your vision too much, particularly when they light up.

Vanessa: Sure, I'll put you in the Plushtrap and take you with me, but you really don't have a single thought on the design? You? Bullshit.

William: Fine if it matters that much to you, I don't get why you're starting with it looking so beat up.

Vanessa: So my first inspiration point was you in the VR game as Glitchtrap, right.

William: I'd like to point out that the basis for that was the original Spring Bonnie mascot suit that we had to throw together in under a week. The later costumes actually looked good.

Vanessa: Did you not have a choice how you looked in game, because you made a whole murder level, I feel like you could have worn one of the nice ones.

William: It's what I wore during the first round of murders so it had sentimental value. And you're overestimating how much control I had while trapped in there.

Vanessa: Regardless Vanny isn't Glitchtrap, and I wanted to avoid her being Spring Bonnie but girl. And I did try just a plain white rabbit design (see design 10) and I thought there wasn't much going on visually, and then played with maybe go a little Alice in Wonderland since I am going to be having children follow a white rabbit (see 11) but I didn't like how derivative it felt, also I'm not the best at sewing and realized this was aiming too high.

William: When did you have time for all of this?

Vanessa: I take if you've never worked an office job? I usually only have 3 hours worth of shit to do a day, and I could tell you horror stories about internships I did in college when I was actually giving my all every day.

William: Another time, let's not get off track, so you rejected a White Rabbit concept.

Vanessa: Yeah, I looked up some waist coat patterns and I don't have the skills and the material costs were too much (budget.docx, page 3)

William: Should I go into the Plushtrap so you can take me into the office and give the presentation you clearly want to be doing this as?

Vanessa: I just wanted feedback! But shut up and let me me continue.

Vanessa: However, next time you want to get into giving me new instructions and planning, I'm absolutely begging that you do it in the Plushtrap. I'll even get him a little suit.

William: I don't know if that would feel better or worse. But purple suit, white shirt, black tie. But focus.

Vanessa: If you didn't keep making side comments we'd be done by now!

Vanessa: Anyway, like I said plain white body suit didn't have enough visual interest and needed something to break up the lines, white rabbit not enough time or money.

William: Plus that would be costume pieces on top of the base so you could always go back to it if you'd want.

Vanessa: I could, I could also make seasonal costumes. I should make seasonal costumes.

William: I'm going to be upset if you don't now.

Vanessa: Noted!

Vanessa: BUT ANYWAY! As I was saying I thought of what could make Vanny a bit more unique looking and first I added some brown spots but it still felt a bit too generic like I could be any old rabbit, I thought about old timey stuffed animals that have been through it, and gotten repaired time and time again because a kid refused to let them go. They're a bit dirty and nasty looking, but in a sweet way.

William: Have you ever read the Velveteen Rabbit?

Vanessa: Nope.

William: Never mind, go on.

Vanessa: So that's how I ended up here, also why I decided to go with plastic looking eyes, also if I slip up and don't change the security footage, even my eyes are hidden.

Vanessa: So what do you think?

William: As I said, it's cute. I think it's actually fine.

Vanessa: Are you fucking kidding me?

William: No. I'm not sure when you got the impression I'm the type to hold back criticism when asked for feedback, but I meant what I said.

Vanessa: I'm going to fucking kill you.

William: It's a bit late for that, love.

William: Fine, the only changes I would propose would be maybe change the shoes to more of a paw, none of the design images I'm seeing mention this so you should add a wire frame to the ears so they can be both poseable and just more durable if you need to climb through vents or anything.

William: With the concept as you explained it, if this was a character for the public I'd go so far as to suggest going full floppy lop bunny ears, but having something hanging would make it easier for a kid to grab.

William: Additionally, toe beans.

Vanessa: Rabbits don't have toe beans.

William: I'm well aware of that. However, it's cute, and with the paw foot they can be used to add non-stick grips without having to have a full flat bottom.

Vanessa: Thank you. That's all I wanted. I'll make another sketch with your changes, and get to work on it. But you're still going to have to wait for the next sale on fabric.

#The theme of the current batch is apparently I go on 10x longer than I expected to #and just taking directions I wasn't expecting #like Vanessa showing motivation for the first time in this entire thing. #If I keep at this length I'm going to need to start using text posts so I can cut #also this is a direct follow up to the other one with vannycostumedesign.png #Also if I ever do write prose sections of this #I'm going to miss being able to use emoji as a legitimate writing choice #the chat log semi fic

[tragedynoir]

— introducing 011: COTTAGE TALES + [ link ]

a nanowrimo / novel planning google doc template with a cute, doodle-like aesthetic that is warm and inviting to cheer you on during your writing journey! this template contains a lot of functional elements, and is also made to accommodate any long and large amounts of writing and planning. all illustrations in this document and the sticker pack were hand drawn by me! the template and a full page-by-page preview can be found in the link above or in the source code.

features:

10 unique 7.25" x 10.5" pages with 9 unique illustrations hand-drawn especially for this template

a dashboard page with story overview and general milestones

a calendar page with word count milestones as well as a daily to-do-list to help you manage your story planning all in one document

plot points, locations, research and brain dump sections that can easily accommodate any amount of texts, including long prose that may be necessary for all your planning!

individual character sheets that can be easily duplicated and copied for more

a hand-drawn sticker pack featuring 30 PNGs that you can use to replace the placeholder images with to personalize the template — see last image for all stickers inside

terms of use:

you may edit to your heart’s desire. Change the colours, replace, add or remove elements and images etc.

you may remix pages with pages from my other templates.

you may not remove the credit from the templates.

you may not copy, sell or redistribute my templates whether wholesale, in part (i.e. taking out certain pages) or remixed (i.e. modified).

you will also receive an additional guide with images on how to use and edit google doc templates! if you have any problems or issues, feel free to leave an ask or join our discord server, where you can additionally find server-exclusive google doc templates that you may also find useful for your writing!

I hope you enjoy this template and have fun writing with it, and likes + reblogs are always appreciated. if you ever want to talk about you wips, please reach out to me; I'd love to listen! ♡

#google docs template #google doc template #writing template #nanowrimo #writing resource #m #m pr

[mrghostrat]

I remember you posting a blurred gif of the outline of atws, so if you don't mind me asking, how do you do that? Like, get the outline onto paper and not just scenes in your head. That's something I've always struggled with, because it's hard to write without an outline, but hard to do the outline when I don't have a first draft? I'm not sure how to explain it so I hope this makes any sense at all lmao

ahh so fair! some people just don't operate that way and you gotta do what's best for your brain. no point exhausting all your energy trying to squeeze into a "standard writing process" that'll make writing even more difficult for yourself.

under the cut, i'm going to explain my writing process every step of the way, using scenes of ATWS. i hope it helps in some way? i don't think it's anything special, but this is just how i write to appease my adhd.

first, this might help: i once used storyplanner.com when i didn't know how to even start a story and i loved it. it's a great tool that can hold your hand every step of the way, or just prompt you to think on your own. there's over 20 planners that ask different questions like "what's your character's major flaw?" "what's the inciting incident?" "what outside elements hinder the character?" etc that will present you with a complete story structure when you're done with it.

ok, now, how i write:

as for the post in reference, that's the 2nd stage of my writing process. i get carried away with tangents and hone in on details, so i plan in dot points to try and force myself to keep it simple and stay zoomed out.

i just write what happens in chronological order, and if i have an idea for a later scene (or something that i just want to happen, but don't know when/where/how), i note that in a separate document that i can refer to while i plan. this also allows me to gloss over vague sections to keep my writing flow going.

stage 1:

i've started using Notion's "toggle list" feature to minimise the less important parts of a scene and keep myself focused on the overarching plot during this stage. this is what the first point looks like:

i go beat by beat, essentially amounting to an elevator pitch for each stage of my story. "crowley and aziraphale are streamer roommates" + "people start to notice they each live with someone and the speculation starts" + "crowley and aziraphale interact on twitch" + "they attend the edinburgh meetup" etc.

i finish a story before i move on from this stage. i won't start writing something in earnest until i know how it ends.

stage 2:

this is what you saw in my gif, and why that page was so long. that's every scene i'm going to write in the story.

sometimes i jump straight from stage 1 to writing, but ATWS required a lot more figuring out before i started any kind of prose. here i'm basically noting down the details of what each scene is, the brunt of what's happening. this is when i have to figure out those "vague sections" i glossed over earlier.

it's still just intended to be a rough outline so i know where the characters are and what's moving their relationship along. most of these dot points are short because i've already thought about them a thousand times, and may have more details noted down in a different document.

meanwhile some of them i'm planning out the scene as i'm dotting it, making not of dialogue that i want to include.

stage 3: my bracket method

i only use this stage when i'm struggling to write and need to baby step into it. this is my "bracket method" in which i write the scene without, like... caring? some people may consider this "double handling" which may drive you mad, but it's the most helpful thing i've ever done for my process.

i switch tenses, i write how i chat (no capitals etc) and just word vomit the scene without focusing on prose. ATWS came quite easily at first, and i didn't need to use stage 3 until i got to chapter 4 and hadn't written in a few days.

stage 4:

this is writing the actual prose, but i wanted to include it so you can see the differences, to help better understand my notes/planning/outlining stages:

and this is what a scene looks like with stage three bridging the gap:

#i swear this had a point #i think the point is: i literally just write each scene one by one as i think of them #but use all these little methods to keep it clean and tighten my own leash so i dont get carried away or lost #rat writes #ratwips #writing tips #writing process #art process #fan fic #ask a rat

[a-little-bit-of-ravioli]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao

1. How many works do you have on A03?

18 as of a few days ago!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

157,937! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.

Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.

Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.

Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.

Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments!

So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.

9. Do you write smut?

No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!!

But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.

Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild

#rav rambles #rav writes #ask game #linked universe #thank you Aza I rambled a lot lmao #rambling is cathartic sometimes #I had a good time!

[itsdappleagain]

tagged by @emily-prentits THANK YOUU THIS LOOKS SO FUN

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

18!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

141,974 words...which is a little embarassing considering jo, who tagged me, has 59 works and only about 30,000 more words. evidently i like my longfics.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

carmen sandiego 2019! 17 of those and one (1) original work that i dont mention in this post at all

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the cardinal and the kitten - 325 kudos

say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime (let me lead you from your solitude) - 164 kudos (we call her the phantom au for short)

simple are the ways of love (simple as the touch of another's hands) - 156 kudos

Upon the Sword - 154 kudos

Everything is a Lie - 127 kudos

5. do you respond to comments?

Most of them yes!! I LOVE getting comments I screenshot and save every one I get.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm- I guess it depends. Hellscape ends with Carmen's internal monologue just before she gets mind-wiped by VILE, but its technically no angstier than canon. they gave you life (and in return you gave them hell) is pretty angsty the whole way through and examines Carmen's trauma.

Those are both little one-shots, though- I usually end my reigns of terror within chapter fics pretty happily if I can manage it. The Phantom AU (linked above) ends in a dark place but leagues brighter than it seemed to be heading towards. It isn't a terribly neat and happy ending, and it tells a story of trauma and attempted suicide and the road to recovery from these. Let's go with that one.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In Love Is A Locked Cell Door Chase Devineaux and Crackle happily start making out in a jail cell and live happily ever after!

Ok, being serious-

For a one-shot, simple (linked above) starts happy and ends happier.

For a chapter fic, Choice ends with Carmen, Julia, and Gray all living in a very happy polycule pardoned from the law with full emotional control of their lives which is fun :]

8. do you get hate on fics?

@emily-prentits used to leave passive aggressive comments on my wattpad and we would fight in the comments sections 💀now we're partners so make of that what you will. but anyway, no serious ones, no!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

No, not really! I have a few "fade-to-blacks" or skip-overs without any detail. The one time I tried writing smut it was really forced and hard for me to write...doesn't help that I've never felt sexual attraction in my life so I don't know about that. Curse you asexuality for taking papertiger handcuff sex away from the world.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

No, I'm not a fan of crossovers

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had one or two...heavily referenced. Not in bad faith, but it was funny to see a lot of my plot and prose mannerisms reworded in a younger author's fic. I think they credited me as inspiration or gifted it to me both times so its not a big deal.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

If FRANTIC FANFIC! counts, which it shouldn't lol. Also the polycule is working on something :3

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an au where paper star and black sheep escape VILE together and go through a sort of friends to lovers to enemies deal as carmen (renamed cardinal here due to never escaping in the boat the way she does in canon), though influenced by paper star at the start, eventually finds her inevitable path of good while paper star slips into a chaos that cardinal just can't stomach

ill paste a snippet here that i wrote but its a little bit long and complex and i dont have a ton of motivation for it

16. what are your writing strengths?

ABILITY TO MAKE READERS SUFFER

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

cohesive plot...lord help me i cannot plan a fic to the end before i post chapter 1 and it bites me in the ass all the time

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if there's a small amount of it, i usually write it as-is in the other language and use external sources or context clues to explain it. if a lot of dialogue is in another language, I'll put it in brackets and write it in english!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

carmen sandiego. still going lmfao

20. favorite fic you've written?

that's really hard- i'm going to do top three in no particular order SORRY

Love, Carmen - this was the first or one of the first fics I ever wrote. it put me on the map a little bit (wattpad..) in terms of writing and boosted upon the sword and choice when they came along. it was really fun to just be young and writing after finishing all two released seasons of the show. i still like it a lot. its just cute and simple.

the phantom au - what a labor of love. i've had other fics (evil carlotta series, cough cough) that have been long and complex but those strayed into meandering and pointless and i lost a lot of motivation. phantom combined my love of theater with my favorite show and my hunger for angst angst angst. it was super fun to write and, at the risk of sounding vain, i pulled off a very hard to pull off trope at the end and i think i did it well. i think if you read any one of mine, this highlights a lot of my strengths.

the cardinal and the kitten - this is a popular one of mine that kind of serves as an updated love, carmen. i really enjoy how i wrote carmen and julia playing off of each other and my dialogue is very strong in this one.

okay, sorry about how long that was i treated it like a professional interview. i had a lot of fun writing this instead of working on a very important school project

#tag game #weed wife #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019 #writing #ao3

[monstersinthecosmos]

I have no confidence writing smut, so, smut writing advice?

HELLO yes of course, writing smut is my favorite hobby lol. 🥹🥹

I’m gonna break this into two sections, because what I’m about to say up top is more important (to me LOL) so I wanna lead with it, and if you’re still with me by the end I’ll discuss a couple technical things that help me a lot personally.

But first thing I wanna say, and I’m a broken record because I say this literally every time anyone asks me about writing, my 100% absolute Number One Rule is :

Write what you want to read. 

And when it comes to writing smut, what that means is: DO YOU THINK IT’S HOT? IS THIS A DYNAMIC YOU WANT TO SEE EXPLORED? DO YOU WANT THE CHARACTER TO GET OFF IN THIS SPECIFIC WAY????

Because something that I think a lot of fic writers struggle with, especially breaking into smut, is we have shyness about it. And like, it doesn’t matter how polished your fic is, it doesn’t matter if it’s the most gorgeous prose and most satisfying character arc—when you’re writing smut, you have to ask: Does this make me horny? Is this an idea that I find horny? Can I approach it both bravely (by admitting I thought of it in the first place) and sincerely (knowing that people might jerk off to it without judging them)? You absolutely cannot be afraid to share this idea that you had, and I think that’s baked into a lot of us. I think it’s pretty common in our varying cultures and it can feel taboo and vulnerable to talk about. And honestly like, no matter what else you worry about in the writing itself, that first hurdle really is just being brave enough to write it down at all, and if it’s something you want to share or post you have to build on that, as well.

A lot of writing advice out there focuses on like technical things and language and prose and tbh, that stuff doesn’t really matter to me. (I do have a few things I’ll share at the end though!) Like, I think we can all learn and there’s no harm in thinking about our technical style, but I also think that we can’t hold ourselves back just because we don’t feel ready. You have to practice, and no one peaks on the first try. And I think there’s a lot of elitism (even ableism, classism, & racism/xenophobia) in snobby writing circles about skill and language, when I really think that storytelling is so much about being able to communicate. If you can communicate your idea, it doesn’t matter how polished it is. It’s not a contest. 

I’ve read some incredible smut fics that were the SLOPPIEST writing I’ve ever seen in my life and I still admired the IDEAS so much. The writer communicated ideas to me and the filthiest kinks I ever saw in my life, so I didn’t care that they weren’t doing line breaks for new speakers, I didn’t care about the run-on sentences, I didn’t care about the constant tense switches. 

So I say all this to say that like, all writing takes some confidence, some bravery, SHARING IT CAN BE SCARY, but like, YOU GOTTA LOL. The way out is through, babe!!! And it will get easier with practice and repetition, but I really do believe that it takes bravery at ANY level. And I think if we all didn’t have some little voice inside telling us that we could get better, we would have no interest in getting better, and the moment you become OVER confident is when your work stagnates. Like, I’ve been writing & sharing fanfic since I was like 13 years old and I still get really anxious every time I post something! I still find flaws in my writing and I still have goals I’m trying to meet! So you gotta start somewhere, and it doesn’t matter if you’re not polished and perfect. What matters is that you start. And I don’t think it makes a difference if it’s a smut fic or not, like all writing needs this bravery, but I think sometimes there’s that extra barrier with smut because people get squeamish about it.

But like your writing, and your VOICE, is not just the words you’re using and your prose and your sense of style; it’s your IDEAS. It’s your sensibility! It’s the lens you have! Your worldview! Things about characters that you might notice because of your background, that someone else might not notice! So like, marinate in your IDEAS and think again “What would I want to read?” because that’s your TASTE, and that’s your voice. And when it’s time to write smut, you don’t need to make it formulaic to some fandom trope if it’s not sincere. If you don’t like reading about prep and foreplay — DON’T WRITE IT. That’s your take, it’s your taste! That’s your voice !!! 

At every point of your story keep asking “Is this what I would want to read?” And if it’s not, don’t do it!!!! 

So I mean. I think that’s very wishy washy and it’s sort of a non-answer, but I don’t think anything else matters until you conquer that part. At least, that’s how it was for me!!!! And since you asked ME, and this is *my* experience, aka my voice, my take, etc, that’s the answer. If you asked other smut writers they’d likely say something different!

But I do have a few technical things I can advise on, so that’s the second half of this. 

And ALSO in between these two things I also want to mention some GENERAL STUFF that I have written about, because aside from blah blah YER VOICE (qotd!movie tough cookie quote), my other biggest writing advice is like, having the discipline to actually write LOL. And if you’re neurodivergent like I am it kinda helps to like figure out what works personally for you; I listed a bunch of stuff that works for ME in these posts but if one size fit all we wouldn’t be neurodivergent LOL. So like before you can even WRITE you have to like allow yourself time and space to write or it’s never gonna get done in the first place. So here's some other posts I've written in the past and I apologize if I've repeated myself lol --

On burnout & writer's block ADHD Writing Tips!

On Editing! (but really on outlining bc if you outline you won't have to edit so hard!)

OKAY OKAY OKAY sorry for the preamble, here’s some more points:

1. READ SMUT! TAKE NOTES!

“Write what you want to read!” I said, but ! What do you like to read? Read some smut, figure out what you like! Figure out what you don’t like! I have a laundry list of stuff I don’t like, so I try to avoid repeating it in my fics. Learning what not to do is just as important. 

Literally I started doing a thing when I was hitting some walls with smut writing where I copy & pasted some of my fav smut fics into a new document and I just started like, highlighting things that I found effective while I was reading, so that I could kinda study it and see what it had in common. And it helped me figure out what I like! Because sometimes reading it kinda like nebulous or you’re just trying to nut or whatever and don’t really think about stuff like that HAHA so it made me think more deeply about like “oh I enjoy when we mention our feelings” “I enjoy sensory details” etc. So that makes me think about the way I would want to write, ie: copious amounts of feelings and sensory details. 

2. INVISIBLE WORDS & FIRST DRAFT VOCAB

There’s certain words that become invisible in porn, the way people’s names do. It’s the same way people commonly get squeamish about saying a character’s name over and over and wind up using cheesy epithets for no narrative reason lol. Same for words like “cock” “hole” “nipple” “pussy” etc. I think there’s one or two words for the basic parts and it depends a lot on your own preference, like maybe you like the word “cunt” more than “pussy” or you prefer “dick” to “cock”. Make those decisions!

But do NOT get squeamish about using that word over and over. The reader does not care. I guarantee you have read smut fics where you didn’t even notice. It’s an invisible word.  (I s2g go ctrl+f on your fav smut fics to see how many times the author says “cock” you’ll be amazed lol) 

Because when you start overcomplicating it, and start using cheesy floral analogies or something, people notice that! If you’re getting desperate and squeamish to mix up your genital vocab, someone will notice you saying “tight ring of muscle” but won’t notice you saying “hole”. It’s the type of thing that makes the reader stop and go “oh no lol”. AT LEAST, IT DOES FOR ME, SO I DO NOT WRITE THAT WAY. 

Not to say that you can’t pick like, a handful of words you like! I usually rotate a handful of dick words but like, it’s just words I don’t mind, but I don’t go out of my way to say something unique about a fucking penis because the person reading is trying to jerk off and it’s just not necessary. 

On the other hand, I do believe it’s good to mix up sensory and action words. I try not to use the same verb more than once every few paragraphs, so I’ll mix up words like fuck/thrust/plunge/rail. Etc. Also words like heated/blistering/burning. Again, don't go so crazy that you sound bizarre because people WILL notice when it's becoming unnatural, but mixing up the rest of your vocab helps the cadence, I think, which I will always suggest in general for writing. Try not to be too repetitive. But I promise you can say "cock" as many times as you want, it's invisible, no one will care.

Don’t get too stressed about your vocabulary on your first draft, though. I really recommend just banging out the first draft as it comes to you and stay in the zone because you’ll notice stuff like that when you (or your beta if you use one) read it to edit. But thesaurus.com is your friend and you literally can google like “words for writing erotica” and you’ll find tons of lists!!! 

3. SEX POSITION BETA READ

I really really really suggest on your reread for edits to do a SPECIFIC run through JUST to check everyone’s positions and parts. Nothing takes me out of reading a scene faster than someone on their back and suddenly they’re on their knees, or someone’s limbs being somewhere that don’t make sense. After you’ve worried about all the other stuff you’re checking, just go back and look one more time for stuff like this, because it’s so easy to miss, especially when you’re worrying about hunting for typos lol. 

4. PLAN THE CHOREOGRAPHY AND WRITE AN OUTLINE

Do you think I don’t outline my smut scenes? YOU’RE WRONG! 

I have a certain way I like to outline, and like, I know outlining isn’t for everyone!, (and I linked a post talking about it above). Anyway, your fic outline might look like 

-beginning -middle -smut scene -end

Even if you don't outline the whole fic, I find that it really helps to just sketch out what you want the scene to be like so that you have a reference to work from. 

For example, maybe you get to "smut scene" and expand it to:

- they make out on the couch - “I really wanna fuck you right now” - oral  - move to the bedroom - start in missionary - flip the bottom over to do from behind

Etc !!! Do whatever you want. But I think planning those steps out kinda helps to visualize what you want the scene to be, and when you start writing you can take it a point at a time.

And BE PATIENT!!!! 

There’s no reason to rush through. And again you gotta ask like, what would you want to read? Do you like when there’s a lot of attention given on prep? On foreplay? DO YOU HATE WHEN THERE’S TOO MUCH PREP? This is all very subjective and you have to make those decisions. Don’t feel like you need to squash in a sex ed lesson to your porn scene if you don’t want to. OR DO IT, IF YOU DO WANT TO! Personally, I don’t really like ~sexposition~ where I feel like the author is ticking off a bunch of boxes so that Tumblr won’t get mad at them. I don’t want to feel like I’m in a sex ed class. I don’t care if they’re not wearing condoms, I don’t care whether or not you tell me if they showered, I don’t care if anyone douches first. Look, it’s porn lol. 

And for some folks, those details are hot! It’s part of the RITUAL, baby! So INCLUDE THAT if it’s what you like! But this is all so intuitive and subjective; just do whatever you want! It’s your story! You’re in charge!

But I think like doing that planning beforehand can be really helpful when it's time to get down to it because it gives you a guide, and it helps stretch the scene out. I don't rush through scenes when I have an outline, because it forces me to stop and think about each step and give each step its own space. I think sometimes people rush through their smut scenes, which especially gives me blue balls if it was a slow burn, like again thinking about what I would want to read—if I get slow burned I want it to be WORTH IT. I want them to FUCK for like EVER once the dam breaks. 

Another thing, regarding choreography LOL, and this isn’t for everyone!!!, but if you’re someone who isn’t repulsed by watching porn, check porn videos for reference!!! I do this frequently LOL especially bc most of my ships have size differences LOL so sometimes I need to know if certain positions work, like, can they still kiss in this position, etc. It helps me to look at real people. Artists use references, too, so writers are allowed to! 

Do NOT feel pressured to look up IRL porn if that grosses you out LOL but it’s a tool that’s available if you’re into that! I do it all the time. I even can tell you specific videos that I based fics on HAHA. And it can help when you get stuck, if you're not sure how you want to choreograph, literally just watch a video and describe what you're seeing.

5. DON’T FORGET SENSORY STUFF

Not just the sexy parts, but like. What does the blanket feel like? Are they cold? Is the position uncomfortable? Are they getting sweaty?

I like when people tell me stuff like this!!!! I wanna know!!!!! 

I don’t want to just read “They were fucked over the arm of the couch”, I wanna read “The cushion was scratchy on their knees as they were bent over the arm of the couch”.  Tell me that stuff!!! It’s immersive!!! 

6. MAKE IT WEIGH ENOUGH

This goes towards being patient, too, but, think about like, what’s the ratio you want in your story of plot:smut. And it’s okay to have any combination of this, it depends what you feel like writing and what’s the story you’re trying to tell. Because a story could be ALL SMUT, like a PWP, or it could be a sprawling epic with a teeny little smut scene as a treat. But make that decision and try to be intentional.

I don’t like to think about my work in terms of word counts, like I never aim to make the smut scene a certain numbers of k’s or whatever, because I think forcing myself into those boxes is going to make the work insincere, but if you wrote an outline or at least know all the points you want to hit, you can start working through those points and it’ll get said when it gets said. 

But for arguments sake, if you wanna write smut, but you wanna give it a little setup, think about it like, do you want it to be 3k of setup for a 500 word blowjob? Or is it a 500 word intro for a shameless smut PWP? Is it equal? Is the smut and plot intertwined??? Completely up to you, but I think you should decide stuff like that before you start the scene, just so that you have a roadmap of how you want it to go and what you want the reading experience to be. When you’re in the mood to read smut, do you need to bond with all the plot and feeling before you’re interested? Or do you like to just jump in? And once you get to the smut, do you want to spend time with it or should it burn out real fast? 

And don’t get me wrong, because you can like all of those things! We all contain multitudes. I’ve written all combinations !!! LOL. So it also has to serve the story you’re trying to tell. What’s the goal here? What’s the smut for? Is the smut the whole story? The main event? A subplot? Decide that, and be patient when you get to writing it, and don’t rush through it, and make sure you say everything you want to say. Make it weigh enough in your story! 

7. ADD SOME CHARACTER EMOTIONS AND 🔥THE SYMBOLISMS🔥 IF YOU WANT TO

This last bit is just me personally so like, take it or leave it LOL, but personally I REALLY love porn with feelings, and I love hurt/comfort especially when the comfort is SEX LOL. If that’s not you, PLEASE IGNORE, YOU’RE AT THE END OF THE ROAD, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.

If this IS you, think about stuff like this, too:

Are there kinks in your story? Do they align in some way with the character arc in the story? Is your main character feeling vulnerable and needs to be comforted in a specific way? Are they overwhelmed with making decisions so they want to be dominated so that they can turn off? 

Does the smut dynamic mirror the plot of the story in some way? 

Are the characters using sex to resolve an interpersonal problem? Will this bring them closer? Will it create confusion?

Does the character use sex to deflect from their actual feelings, and are they not completely present emotionally??? 

I like to think about stuff like this!! I think it can really add an extra layer to smut fics that make them SO DELIGHTFUL to me, so personally I always try to infuse this into my own writing. :) I want it to hurt! I want us to think about their feelings! I want to ask what does sex do for the character, how does it move the story, how does it change them??????? 

And stuff like this doesn’t have to be confusing and nebulous, you know? Like you’re the one writing it LOL, just make that decision!!! 

AND IF YOU’RE WRITING AN OUTLINE YOU CAN LEAVE YOURSELF NOTES. Like 

- they make out on the couch (character A is nervous) - “I really wanna fuck you right now” - oral  (character B worries they’re gonna catch feelings)  - move to the bedroom - start in missionary - flip the bottom over to do from behind (character A doesn’t want to look into character B’s face anymore because it feels too intimate) 

And that way you can kind remember to mention stuff like that and keep reminding us of everyone’s feelings.

Anyway okay this is like 3k of fucking RAMBLING, I hope something in here was useful! I think all writing advice is so subjective, it might be so catered to me personally that it doesn’t apply to anybody else LOL, so take what helps and leave the rest!! :D

#advice from your smut mom #writing advice #adhd writing advice #spot the just trust ash ref LOL

[stereopticons]

An Addendum to Mournful Monday

So I’ve been reading everyone’s posts about their writing struggles and I found myself wanting to say two things: first, nothing you write is ever a waste, and second, your writing matters.

Sometimes you write things that you end up cutting or that don’t fit anywhere. Sometimes you write things that don’t get shared or published. But it’s not a waste. You still wrote! Writing is a skill, and like everything else, the more you do it, the better you’ll be at it. Sometimes, just flexing those muscles is enough. Sometimes it will even help shake loose the words you were hoping to write. I was struggling with getting the words to come out one time and the ever-wise @blackandwhiteandrose gave me a handful of random words and told me write 100 words using some or all of them. I wrote a 400-word ficlet that I’ve never published (maybe I will do that later, idk) but it made it easier to write the fic I was actually trying to work on.

When I was writing my dissertation, I had to cut huge sections because I ended up taking a piece out of the study that changed the background a lot. My advisor recommended that I never delete anything I write because you never know when you’ll need it again. So I created a file called trash (he objected to this title but i ignored him lol) and put everything I deleted in there. I’ve been done with my dissertation for a while but I have gone back to that trash file to use things I previously deleted. I also have a trash file for fic, for those sentences and paragraphs I love but can’t quite make them fit. It’s not a waste. It’s writing.

I think many of us are working with some degree of imposter syndrome. I would venture to say that probably the majority of people you think write the “best” (whatever that means to you!) have at one time or another, looked at something they wrote and said, “man, that is garbage. What is even the point”. For me, it happens at least once per fic. I call it my fic midlife crisis because it usually happens midway through writing. I start to doubt everything. The prose is clunky, the dialogue is out of character, the whole premise is flawed and doesn’t make sense. I usually message my friends and say, “can someone read this and tell me if it’s stupid” and they will usually read it and say something along the lines of “you’re overthinking this again, it’s great” and offer suggestions on where to go.

There are multiple posts floating around tumblr about how you can never see your art the way someone else sees it because you made it. My prose is always going to sound trite and overused to me because I wrote it and I’ve read it a thousand times. That doesn’t mean it’s bad or doesn’t have value. It just means I’ll never be able to experience it for the first time. But despite all of this, I guarantee that your fic has impacted someone somewhere. Maybe it made them laugh when they were having a bad day. Maybe you wrote a line that made them cry at their desk. Maybe you wrote something really hot that helped them discover something about themselves. It all matters.

#this was much longer than i intended #fandom stuff #writing

[night-dark-woods]

ok Exordia review time (not spoiler free!) since i finished it a few days ago. this is long and rambling and unedited.

4/5 i love Seth's writing and im glad they got to play with scifi again BUT i think they needed a better editor OR to split it more cleanly into sections- in one of the interviews they said it was originally a series of novellas each from a single POV, and i think the constraint of that would have made it a much tighter story.

one of the best things about their Destiny lore is how much they do with so little- thinking of this section from the Beyond Light CE:

Disaster at the worksite. Clearly we will not be moving Clarity Control like we did the K1 artifact. It reacted violently to the attempt. I have entered 19 casualties into the log, since 19 engineers from the Hannu team were caught in its reaction...though there were many more than 19 bodies when it was finished. I have sequestered the recordings. Especially the sensorium telemetry. Quite upsetting. Yet I do not believe it was an act of hostility. Even this outburst carried themes of duplication...as if Clarity Control wanted to show it could help me.

which i was originally thinking of as a first run at Blackbird, but i think these may have been simultaneous? i'm not actually sure. i know Exordia was started after the first Baru book was published, but i'm not sure how much lead time there is for the CEs.

or the clarity of Unveiling compared to a lot of what felt like similar ideas that took much longer to get thru in Exordia. primes. pink noise. math. alright lets fucking gooo oh wait. five more pages of ethics first. okay sure i'll do that for ya Seth bc i love your prose. which also. a) conway game of life mentioned!!! b) this part from Exordia made me LOSE MY MIND:

But that was impossible. The whole universe came from the same source: the same designers. I was part of one of them. If I could only remember... We were arguing, I think. Or maybe we were the argument, because gods cannot do things, they can only be them. We were in contest over the morality of infinities: the cardinality of all possible souls measured against the mere infinity of souls to ever be born...

(this is the part from Unveiling, for the optimistically two people who will read this who haven't read Destiny lore):

Once upon a time,* a gardener and a winnower lived** together in a garden.*** * It was once before a time, because time had not yet begun. ** We did not live. We existed as principles of ontological dynamics that emerged from mathematical structures, as bodiless and inevitable as the primes. *** It was the field of possibility that prefigured existence. They existed, because they had to exist. They had no antecedent and no constituents, and there is no instrument of causality by which they could be portioned into components and assigned to some schematic of their origin. If you followed the umbilical of history in search of some ultimate atavistic embryo that became them, you would end your journey marooned here in this garden.

at the same time, idk what i would remove- at very few points was i reading something that dragged, with the exception of spending a LOT of time with Erik and Clayton in the middle (this is when i put the book down for a month and a half or so). and i know so many people were like sickos.jpg about them However their dynamic did sooo little for me and i don't think Rosamaria was given enough time on the page (and i think having her Be the ship was weird- i recognize that Blackbird needs to have a voice to make the plot go, but i don't think this was the best or neatest way to do it, and collapsed a lot of what i found fundamentally so interesting about Blackbird into something akin to a standard scifi Ship AI).

again i think the restriction of each section of the story being from a single POV might have been the restriction needed to end up with a tighter story- at no point were the multiple plot threads & POVs confusing, per say, but i'm not sure what the structure did for the story bc we could switch to whoever could tell us the most about what was happening whenever convenient, instead of having to piece things together from a limited POV. i'm thinking again of the BLCE, this time the part where Clovis is talking about Maya Sundaresh behaving erratically- i'm no Ishtar group expert but i believe we are supposed to put together that these are all different iterations of her from within the garden). oh- i also wonder if Aixue and Chaya are another run at Maya and Chioma to some degree...

anyway. i also think i am also less the target audience for this book because seth loooves their trolley problems and i simply do not have the patience for it! i loved the hard scifi and the first contact aspects and the character work (Seth's character work is, as always, spectacular. their characters always feel deeply real and flawed in very human ways, while still being exaggerated in the ways characters have to be to function as plot fulcrums), but this isnt something like Baru where i can be like yes you should read this to everyone i talk to.

I think the language in the book is DELIGHTFUL, as always, especially how Seth plays with the idea of an alien translator that sometimes can get an English equivalent to something and sometimes can't! i think that's very fun. because it's on my mind bc ive been listening to the Shelved by Genre episodes on it, it makes me think of Book of the New Sun, and how the "translator" figure of G.W. talks about picking words that are close but they aren't being used like we would use them now- e.g. "metal" in BotNS isnt the same thing we think of as metal! its used more broadly! but its close enough in purpose and point to work just fine. the destriers have horns. i need to know if Seth has read these books.

but back to Exordia. here are some specific prose parts i fucking loved.

this part of the full-page loving, detailed, and technical description of 40 alien nukes detonating in atmosphere:

In the band of thickening atmosphere twenty-five to thirty-five kilometers above the Earth, these gamma rays slam into atoms of oxygen and nitrogen, stripping their orbiting electrons. The orphaned electrons hurtle away at 90 percent of lightspeed. They want to go in a straight line, but hold on now, it's not so easy to leave home. Earth's magnetic field bends their course. They begin to spiral down. When an electron moving near lightspeed has to turn, it emits synchrotron radiation. Poison light. And beneath each bomb there are 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 electrons swerving at once. The result is a blast of electromagnetic noise. No: not noise. A coherent pulse, spiking and faling in harmony. Shiva's own beat drop on electrical civilization. An EMP.

This part. i love Anna and wish we got more of her.

He gives her back her Glock. She accepts it with resignation. "You'd better get your men ready," she says. "It's going to be bad." "Women too," he says, trying for lightness. "The pilot's a woman. We've got a female forward surgeon, a psyops lead, a linguist- she's pretty badass, ran with SEALs in Afghanistan. And Lt. Gainer, she might have some advice for-" "For what?" Anna says calmly. "Advice for what, Erik? How to get killed in a feminine way?"

Seth has such a good and specific way of writing metaphors. a little bit Douglas Adams:

The upshot is: the air around the engine exhaust beam explodes outward with a sound like a tuning fork hit by a Space Shuttle launch. Lung-jellying power. Anything in the beam path suffers the short, severe influence of a needle faster and hotter than a vajra thunderbolt. Anything around the beam eats fireball.

& this part. again. i wish more of the book was Anna and Ssrin's fucked up kismessitude. or whatever.

She slides the barrel of the weapon into the uppermost crater on Ssrin's spine. Slick pain makes Ssrin hiss in psuvoluntary fury: psuvoluntary because it is reflex subject to veto- she could quash it, but the feeling is deliciously wrong, and it is so good to bare her fangs and to unleash that ancient khai instinct of pain-as-motivation. "Questionsss," Ssrin gasps. "I want to know how this story ends." Oh serendura. You'll wish you hadn't asked. You'll wish you'd gone in with your eyes shut and your tongue in your throat so you couldn't smell the poison til it was too late.

which also!!! that's something i love about the Ssrin POV like. Seth is always good at writing aliens and slipping in details that tell us about them. "tongue in your throat" to not smell the poison bc she is a snake alien and smells with her tongue!!! that rules!!!

#bookposting #exordia #this is sooo long sorry #before i reread this i am going to reread blindsight. bc i think a lot of it in in here. #also i cant believe i hadnt even finished exordia when i was writing the gunplay fic. that passage was sitting there waiting for me. #anyway.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I finished acotar a while ago and I was gonna write a review right away but then christmas happened and I was pretty busy and wanted to enjoy myself so youre getting like two weeks late

It was fine, I really didnt have any strong feelings about the book itself. Like, my main complaints are that it was pretty boring and directionless for most of it and stuff thats mainly related to the next books, if I just look at it as a standalone I would describe it as "not for me, but not that bad"

That is, until we get to Under The Mountain, where everything just gets really stupid and convoluted. That whole section, which is a solid fourth or fifth of the whole book, severely clashes with the sweet fairytale romance that came before it. It reminds me of how all those twilight-knockoff trilogies in the 2010s would have two pretty low-stakes books worth of basically only romance with some weird magic sprinkled on top, and then in the last book it would turn out that the protagonist and her beloved need to Go To War or the world will end except even worse (also now that I think about it, the first three acotar books also seem to be structed like that, so youre getting two shitty plot structures in one. yayyyyyyy)

There was literally no reason for all of that happen, it was honestly just unpleasant reading about Feyre, who had spent the book recovering from her trauma in a way that was genuinely pretty nice to read about, being tortured for three months until she was feeling worse than she ever had before. And some people might say "oh, thats the point, its meant to be tragic" but it didnt feel like tragedy, it just felt tonally dissonant. Also, the entire ending was so weird and dragged out, like that bit where she and Tamlin are staying one last night UTM for some reason and then she talks to Rhysand before they finally leave and its like, BRO dont stay in the Palace of Torments for any longer than you have to, just leave through that portal-tunnel thing

Speaking of Rhysand, he wasnt that bad in this book but Im sure my opinion on him will change. The main thing that sticks out about him is how sjm simply could not resist ALREADY explaining all of his motivations and portraying him as someone whos obviously so noble, despite all the obviously horrific and completely unecessary shit hes doing. Like, theres that scene where Rhysand crushes that guy's brain when Amarantha ordered him to crush his mind and the narration goes "that was actually an act of mercy from Rhysand" ??? that mightve worked better in third person limited where youre working without the implication that the prose is the pov character's actual thoughts, but since its first person and meant to be Feyre's thoughts I was just like "why is she thinking that when she should be thinking 'holy fucking shit, i just signed my life over to a guy who could squish my mind like a grape if he wanted to?!?!?!!'"

Also, theres that scene where Rhysand comes into Feyres cell to "escape from it all" or whatever and he basically monologues to her about his sympathetic motivations and I just. sarah, girlie, you shouldve saved this shit for the second book. Like, rewrite the scene so that he just comes in eithout a word, hes totally unresponsive to Feyre insulting him or trying to ask him what hes doing here, he just sits down in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, he mutters something vague about just wanting to be left alone, maybe he's even got tears in his idk. I think that would be a far more effective way to have him be sympathetic in a more subtle way than just having him monologue his tragic circumstances and noble intentions at Feyre

Thats about it so far, I'll probably start reading ACOMAF in january when winter break is over and I can read it on the bus and in class again

#anti acotar #anti sjm #thorns and roses liveblog #book review

[rosie-kairi]

Ventus Character Analysis based entirely off of the 10 or so pages he exists for in the KHX novel.

A couple months ago I made a post regarding a small passage from the KHX novel that had caught my attention because of how it established a bit of character for Ventus in such a short paragraph. Now, I’ve decided to comb through the rest of the section he appears in to see if I can find anything else worth talking about character-wise, and take up the challenge of writing my first ever character analysis essay for something non-school related. Lord have mercy on my soul please, I swear I’m trying my hardest over here. While his appearance in the KHX novel was brief, we can still learn interesting information about Ventus’s character as he appears in the Chi Saga. 

(Essay under read more because this gets long.)

(Also on AO3 here.)

Ventus first appears in the book on the very end of page 136 -11 pages before the book’s conclusion- during the epilogue titled “Epilogue- Unchained X”. This is the only section of the book he appears in, as the epilogue covers the end of the keyblade war, the union leader meetup, and has a short interlude for Strelitzia’s death. It should be noted that most of the more interesting bits about Ventus can be found on page 137, as that is the page where he is fully introduced, before the book shifts its attention over to the arrival of Brain. Like I said, very brief appearance. So forgive me if I end up repeating some points on accident. As is common for the Kingdom Hearts novelizations, a majority of the dialogue is taken straight from the game cutscenes, and KHX is no different. There is nothing in the dialogue in this book that could allow us to glean information about Ventus’s character that we would not have already gotten in-game. That’s not to say there’s absolutely nothing new to be taken into account, because if there wasn’t I wouldn’t be writing this. It’s all in the prose.

Ventus’s arrival comes with a description of him, that being “The one who answered was a boy with short, wavy golden hair and a tendency to look at the ground. He seemed so quiet that it was hard to imagine him fighting with a keyblade” (pg. 136). While it doesn’t really describe Ventus physically, it does tell us a lot about him personality wise. Mainly, Ventus seems to be a very shy and timid person. He’s not the type you’d imagine when thinking of people who go out everyday and fight dangerous creatures made of darkness. Ventus’s apparent tendency to look at the ground as mentioned above might also suggest that he’s unsure of himself, as doing so can be seen as a sign of nervousness or uncertainty -at least, according to body language analysts. What’s more is that the speech indicators used when Ventus speaks seem to support this. When Ventus introduces himself to Skuld and Ephemer, he is described as doing so “shyly” (pg. 137), when he wonders why he was chosen Ventus sounds “uncertain of himself” (pg. 137), and when lamenting his lack of friends, Ventus mutters (pg. 137). Suffice to say, Ventus is not a very confident person. He lacks what he sees as sufficient enough skills that would warrant him being chosen as a union leader. He says so himself, “I’m not especially good at anything… And I’m never at the top of the rankings.” (pg. 137). In the very first scene he appears -and the only section that is dedicated to him specifically- in the novel it is made very clear that Ventus lacks self-confidence. He talks down on himself and all-around just seems very unsure as to why he, a timid, not very strong 10-12 year old boy of all people, was chosen to lead the unions after the war. 

Another key part of Ventus’s character throughout the events of KHUX is his lack of close friends. Before becoming a union leader, Ventus was completely alone. Besides maybe his Chirithy, Ventus had no one. His apparent timidness and self-confidence issues probably factored into this. He was too shy to try and approach random keyblade wielders in the hopes of befriending them. If we choose to believe that Ventus was in-fact a preteen around this time, then his age would present a problem as well. Being a 10 year old surrounded by teenagers in an incredibly competitive environment where being stronger than all of your peers and collecting the most lux to get high up in the rankings is highly encouraged is not going to do much good for your self-image. In an environment like that, many wielders would likely look down on those they deem as being too weak, and by Ven’s own admission, he would’ve been incredibly likely to be one of those seen as too weak. Not to mention how a lot of teenagers probably would not want to be hanging around with a 10 year old who could barely pull his own weight. So, Ventus would’ve been stuck in a cycle of being rejected by stronger keyblade wielders for being too weak, but not being able to get stronger because he was completely alone aside from his Chirithy. In a series that puts so much emphasis on the strength we get from our friends and peers, Ventus had none of that. There’s one paragraph -the one that inspired me to make this in the first place- which reads, “Ephemer had never seen this boy Ven. Many keyblade wielders he would at least recognize by face, and you usually heard stories about the really exceptional ones, but Ven belonged to neither category.” (pg. 137). It may not say so directly, but this passage once again reiterates how lonely and for all intents and purposes unremarkable Ventus was in Daybreak Town. Ephemer, someone who feels that in a town of potentially thousands of keyblade wielders he would be able to recognize most of them by face alone, does not recognize Ventus at all, and he’s clearly never heard of him either. It feels mean to say, but Ventus is not well-known, he’s not recognizable, and he’s not an exceptional keyblade wielder. Ventus is a nobody, and I don’t mean like in the Kingdom Hearts enemy way, I mean a literal nobody.

It’s mean, I know it’s mean, I’m basically just bullying the poor kid at this point, but that’s what we can infer from the text. With all of this in mind it’s really not hard to see why Darkness chose him as its target. He was weak, he was vulnerable, he was the perfect choice for Darkness to leech onto. Ventus, above all else, wanted strength and friendship, and he did get that eventually with the union leaders. But it was all at the cost of another person’s life. Darkness answered Ventus’s wishes and gave him everything he wanted. Strelitzia had to die in order for Ventus to get what he wanted. Ventus, of course, did not know about this. He did not kill Strelitzia, not on purpose. He was an unwilling participant in her murder. But it would not be inaccurate to say that Strelitzia did die directly because of Ventus. If Darkness did not “fulfill” Ventus’s wants, Strelitzia would still be alive and a union leader. But where would that leave Ventus? The reality of it is that in a world without the interference of Darkness Ventus would not have been asked to become a Dandelion by Ava due to his lack of strength as she was tasked specifically with recruiting the best keyblade wielders, and he wouldn’t have been recruited any of his friends who might’ve been in the dandelions because he had none. Poor Ventus would’ve fought in the war and realistically would’ve died very quickly. 

That’s really all I have to say here. I could say more, but this is meant to be an analysis of Ventus’s character as he is portrayed in his very limited appearance in the KHX novel. For what it’s worth, this whole essay probably won’t reveal anything about Ventus’s character that we couldn’t already assume from the cutscenes in-game, but I do think it’s still important. For how little we see of him in the novel it does one hell of a job in establishing parts of his character right off the bat without outright saying anything definitive. 

Thank you very much for reading my lil essay here, I know it might seem a bit disjointed at some points and I really do apologize for that. This is the culmination of a lot of my brainworms about Ventus and I never have been very good at putting thoughts on paper. If anyone has anything they’d like to add, please don’t hesitate to do so. Hope you enjoyed!

Also, I do want to just throw a shout out to everyone who left tags of their thoughts on the original post because they really helped me out here.  He’s our collective sad little Charles Dickens-esque orphan boy and we are taking turns giving him soup.

#Rosie rambles #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts union x #khux #kh ventus #ventus #character analysis #reblogs appreciated <3 #gonna pin this bc i worked hard on it

[gojonanami]

Lovely Sab,

Thank you so, so much for sharing 'Illicit Affairs' with us!

I'm so sorry I couldn't respond to you earlier! When you released it, it was nighttime where I was, so I could only read it this morning!

I honestly really, really love this series. I fell in love with their world and their setting, and I kept thinking about their little world weeks after I'd read 'I Need Someone Older'.

I honestly really, really love Professor Geto Suguru as a character. I feel a deep sense of attachment to him. I think he's incredibly charming. He's so charming that I keep thinking about him and imagining him in my head, and I just think you did such an excellent job of weaving together what makes Suguru Suguru while also adding in your own little intricacies, which just make Professor Geto who he is and just make him such a memorable presence.

This is a story I want to come back to later. I want to revisit it and reread it, pick up on little cues here and there, reanalyse the language, and fall in love with Professor Geto anew. I want to relive and re-experience the sizzling sexual tension and find myself smiling anew at your descriptions and your tackling of ethics, what it means to fall in love, and what it means to be so utterly and captivated by another individual that they start to affect your whole being.

I want to read it anew, and I promise that I will, not just once but several times too.

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I loved the introduction. I think it's incredibly charming.

I know it's been mentioned before—but I think there is just something so incredibly sexy and intimate about wearing his blouse and wearing it to work, and having it be a secret shared between them.

I loved the dialogue in this scene. It is witty. It is playful. It is charming. It is captivating.

With every work of yours that I read, the more I am affirmed in my judgement that you truly have a talent for picking up on how people speak and creating some of the wittiest dialogue I've ever read.

I also think you have a real gift for tackling sexual tension—the delicious just before. I love how you write them hanging off the precipice of falling deep into their attraction, but just pulling them back from the edge of the cliff right before they could fall. It is beautiful. The way you write sexual tension makes my breath hitch.

(I also have to say that I love the way you observe little details like the crumpling of his shirt under her fingers—I love how you observe such details. It makes this story and your prose so much more charming in my eyes.)

And to top all of this off, I love how this is all a dream!

I was not expecting this, I won't lie, but I was pleasantly surprised. It makes sense, of course, but it is also charming in the sense that it references the motif of dreams that dominated part one, and so, in this way, cleverly weaves in and connects the two parts together through this shared motif. I thought it was incredibly clever of you to use the motif of dreams here yet again and to do so in such a clever way.

I think the opening to this fic (chapter?) is incredibly charming and effective, and engrossing and engaging, and it does a fantastic job of both setting up part two and paying deference to part one.

(I also love the slightly humorous tone of this section, too. It's charming. I love that she buries her face in the pillow to hide from the reality of life. It is incredibly relatable. Wouldn't you do that, too? I know I would.)

(I also love the fact that dreaming about him makes her hot and bothered. I just love the fact that her attraction towards him is intense, and not just for his looks, but because his looks are combined with his charm and his intellect, and it is this deadly combination that sets her fire ablaze.

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I liked the way Suguru's perspective was introduced.

I am not sure why, but I was spellbound by this description. I reread it several times while in the process of first reading this text. There is just something about this image that is incredibly charming, and it just sticks in my mind. I can just visualise it in my mind and even hear the barely audible whirring of the fan blades within the caverns of my mind.

Professor Suguru Geto couldn’t sleep — instead he spent his time staring at his ceiling, the blades of his fans spinning above him, just like his mind was — in circles. It was as if he almost didn’t want to risk his dreams taunting him, it was the same reason he had buried himself in research over the semester break, the same reason he had put off emailing you the materials for the semester, and the same reason he hadn’t seen you since that day you had kissed.1

I loved, loved this description. I love how the descriptions bleed into one another. Using multiple images like that in conjuction can be a dangerous game to play with, but you did so incredibly well, and I loved the way the images flickered and changed, the references complementing and bleeding into one another, until his mind, just like the way that it would, was drawn back to the idea of flesh and the real, and his realisation that she was not, indeed, 'myth' led him down the rabbit hole of remembering her very real flesh and the way touching it felt in his hands. (As a side note, I love how it parallels what happens later—the reference to her pantyhose is apt as it directly foreshadows what he does later.2)

You were risk personified, even for a risk averse theologian he liked to think himself as. But you were the thing of myths, the dangled food for Tantalus, the far too warm sun for Icarus, and the promise of gold for King Midas. But you were not a myth — you were real, his student made of flesh and bone, the same flesh he had pressed into his desk just a few short weeks ago, his legs parting your thighs, his fingers itching to rip your pantyhose off your legs—3

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I loved this scene, too.

In my mind, it brought back a flashback—when she had visited his office, only to find him seated on the sofa in 'I Need Someone Older':

You knock at his door, “Come in,” and you open the door to see an empty desk, blinking, “I’m over here,” And your head snaps to your right, and Professor Geto is sitting on his couch, his legs crossed with a stack of papers in hand. His jacket is slung over the side of the couch, his deep maroon button up sleeves rolled up, glasses perched on the tip of his nose.4

I also want to say this: you do an excellent job of showing how reality mirrors fiction without ever making it feel or sound repetitive. Instead, my attention is wholly captured.

(I have to point this out yet again, but I love how you observe the little details in life that people do. Of course he would hold out the door for her to enter first—it may seem like a tiny, unimportant detail, but I think it tells us an awful lot about his character.)

And I love how the barrier of formalities slightly shatters between them, perhaps without even him noticing:

His lips quirk, as he rounds his desk, and takes a seat, “You really can’t make it a conversation with me without giving me shit, huh?”  “Language,” you chide, as you sit across from him, “not very appropriate for an academic setting,” and you have to bite back the want to say that you’ve done plenty of inappropriate things in this office the last time you both were here.5

I have to say, I really loved this description. I hadn't even thought about it before, but of course that would be the case. Of course, that simple, annoying noise would elicit such a bodily reaction—it had nipped their relationship in the bud and would continue to do so much to their chagrin:

And the moment is broken when his email goes off — you squeeze your bag a little tighter, as you busy yourself with digging through your bag for the materials to go over. That sound was nearly traumatizing in this office, not only did it usually signal the start of some assignment you had to trudge your way through — it also was the sound that had ended your relationship before it even really began.6

Such an observation is beautiful. (A frown came over to my face as I read this—I sympathise with them.)

Also, this is absolutely hilarious. I loved this so much. It is so naturally and effortlessly funny and witty, and I was just so charmed by your dialogue here. So, so good.

“Good question,” a smile pulls the corners of his lips, “obviously, as a T.A., you will have office hours that you can decide with your own discretion—”  “So it’s okay if I have them once a month at 3:00 AM?” and he rolls his eyes as you bite your lip at the sight — why was everything he did so effortlessly attractive?  Fucking unfair.  “Witching hour, how apt,” he murmurs, as he tilts his head, “but they should be weekly, as I’m sure you know, and held not in the middle of the night, when nights should be used for other things,” and you have to bite back your reply, like what?7

And I love how he accidentally slipped and how you tracked his bodily reaction as he realised what he said. I love the way you tracked his reaction—from personal experience, I feel like such descriptions sometimes may be in danger of slipping into the dangers of clichés, but you tracked his reaction splendidly.

“If you’re good, that is,” and you knew it slipped from his lips — from the way his lips parted, the way his body froze for half a second as if he had shocked himself — and he had, because the spark between you two remained, a weed stubbornly cracking through concrete, “sorry—’8

I also love how you tackled the whole notion of them never fully crossing boundaries and the discussion of the consequences of what their actions might bring about and how it would affect them differently.

This is brilliant:

“Because we’re going to working together all semester long, with students in class who will see us each week,” he licked his lips, leaning back in his chair, “because it was already problematic if we saw each other without any classes or connection, but now — if you’re my T.A. and my girlfriend, how would I even properly supervise you?” and he swallows, adam’s apple bobbing as he blows air through his teeth, before his voice grows softer, “how would I focus on guiding you and our students if I’m too busy gazing into your eyes or staring at your lips or wanting to—” he cuts himself off, “you know it’s not a good idea,  most of our students probably wouldn’t notice, but rumors spread and it takes one good rumor to ruin your career,” and he adds, “with how things work, you don’t need me to tell you why it would be worse for you than me, even if I tried to take responsibility,”9 

I just love the descriptions, which show just how difficult psychologically it is to resist and to submit to Logic when Feeling just feels so right. Case in point: 'he swallows, adam’s apple bobbing as he blows air through his teeth, before his voice grows softer'.10 

I love this description. I know it may seem simple at first, but I just love how bodily it is, how it conveys his struggle, and how observant it is of human behaviour. People do do that! They do! And when I read that, I could visualise him in my head instantly. 

I love the playful, slightly teasing humour between them. I love how back-and-forth their dialogues are. I love how you can feel their attraction through the screen. I love it, and I loved this scene, and as I was reading it, I found myself rereading passages in the midst of reading as I just wanted to commit them to my memory and absorb them and re-experience them.

(NB: the office comment was a nice nod to part one, too.)

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I think this scene is incredibly charming and funny. I love the overly eager students vying for his attention, the joking yet affectionate way Professor Geto refers to her less-than-smooth journey last term in his class ('showed great grit and dedication in the class assignments'), and the almost secret language between them as they make subtle references that none of the students can catch onto ('you catch a flicker of an emotion ripple across his face out of the corner of your eye').11 

And I love how observant they are of each other. She notices the behaviour of the students right away, scrutinises them, analyses them, and his behaviour with them, and jumps to conclusions (which is relatable—I would, too), and how he is even more observant than her, noting her jealousy right off the bat, and how it amuses ('he only smiles wider'), and how he lets it slip that no, she shouldn't jump to conclusions ('there’s only ever been one student who caught my eyes').12

(Just as a note, I think it's charming, too, that he remembers her schedule.)

Excuse my less than elegant description, but I do rather like this: 

And he’s gone — as you stand in the empty lecture hall next to the podium, the very one from your first dream— and you’re right back where you started.13

It's a nice nod to part one—I like it.

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I liked how this section was a bit of a character study of Professor Geto's method of thinking and going about life, and how he reevaluates his life in relation to his method of thinking. Someone like him would be drawn to constantly reevaluate his actions regardless, I believe, but experiencing such an attraction would exasperate those feelings even further.

And doesn't that just make sense? I am no seasoned ethicist, and my knowledge is rather lacking in that field, but I do feel as though sometimes, as pretentious as it may sound, we just find ourselves reading all those texts and setting about a specific framework of mind to think about it, only to find everything crashing down because we just can't account for the spontaneity of life, and this just serves to show that. 

In a funny way, he is living through an ethical dilemma he may use to teach as an example, and isn't that just an apt way of showing how we live through ethical dilemmas constantly? Yes, this sounds cheesy, I know, but I find that there's something incredibly charming in that.

I really do love this description:

That sentence was on repeat in his mind as he tried to work on his paper over the break — “try” being the operative word. It felt as if even his work hadn't been untouched by you — your impact widespread and all consuming — just as your actual touch was.14

(I thought the coming-in of the department head into his office was a nice touch. Professor Geto's internal dilemma and paranoia, too, were well explored. I rather liked this section.)

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Gosh, this was one of my favourite scenes.

From the humour in exploring how she additionally set herself more work through the slight awkwardness and the jittery feeling of performing in front of an empty auditorium to him sneakily coming in behind her and having him laugh out loud instead of her imaginary students, breaking her out of her reverie. 

I loved that. I truly really loved this passage.

AND I LOVED HER SLIP OF THE TONGUE!

“Are you okay?” he asks, and you can’t meet his gaze, but you hear his footsteps, “should I go?”  “No, no, it’s just,” you shake your head, “a little deja vu,”  He raises an eyebrow, “deja vu?”  Your blood runs cold. Fuck.  “I don’t recall you ever presenting like this in my clsss before,” you can't decide if his voice is more thick with confusion or curiosity.  “Yeah, no, sorry it’s nothing,” you brush him off, your eyes fixed on your notes on the podium, and you know he’s still staring, “what?”  “I see you’re still not a very good liar,” and you scoff, “what is it that’s gotten you so bothered?”  “Nothing,” you insist.15

Gosh, that was an incredibly clever and funny nod to part one. I loved it so much.

(I wonder if she will tell him later what this was all about…)

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I have to say that for me, the description of him watching her present with a small, fond smile really stood out to me, and I did like the reversal, with her watching him lecture—a season and naturally gifted professional—only to lock gazes and turn away, flustered.

It's cute.

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Hah! I loved this! I reread it several times. So incredibly funny!

“Do you have everything?” Professor Geto asks, as you hand him your suitcase, your fingers brushing as you do.  He lifts your suitcase into the trunk of his car, his black t-shirt riding up as he does, a quick flash of the expanse of his muscles— Fuck, you bite your lip, stop, stop. Professor. He’s a professor.16

This section is so witty. When you released that preview, I hadn't the slightest idea as to what the context was, so when I saw the comment about the apartment, I couldn't help but wonder what possibly it was referring to, but when I saw it, it made so much sense, and it made me smile as it was funny, but in an incredibly endearing way.

I really love this section. I love it from start to finish. From the humour to the way he checks on her in the car and the gnawing guilt at the back of her mind, and the soft reassurances and the anticipation of awkwardness and the desperate desire to cross that bridge, consequences be damned.

While I was reading it for the first time, I found myself rereading this passage several times in the midst of writing, and now, as I am writing this commentary, I find myself rereading it once more, searching for little nuggets of subtleties in their interactions and enjoying the humour once more.

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Ah, you know what? I do like your use of this trope for this chapter. I think it's funny, it's charming, it's a good way of exploring their lingering feelings, and it did a good job of propelling the plot further.

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Hah! I LOVED THIS! I literally started laughing as I read this! (But gosh, it suddenly brought back memories of that panel of Suguru being shirtless, and you know what? I am in no position to judge. I would've reacted in a worse manner. I can't decide if I would just shriek obnoxiously loudly or stare at him shamelessly, mouth agape, or both.)

You blink, eyes flickering up to see your Professor’s flushed face, before your eyes slowly following a bead of water slip down his bare chest, black hair dotting along the middle of his chest and abs, down to a happy trail that was hidden by a towel wrapped around his waist. His clothes in his hand, and your eyes find his own, your lips parted and mouth impossibly dry.  Oh. My. God.  “Uh—“ and his cheeks flare red, as you try your best not to let your eyes flicker downward, “I forgot my clothes—“ and you turn away, as he darts back into the bathroom, “I’m sorry,” he says, muffled through the door.  “It’s okay!” You reply, your heart thumping against your ribcage, squeezing your eyes shut to only be met the memory of his bare torso, “fuck,” you mumble under your breath, as you turn onto your back, and stare at the spinning ceiling fan above you. A distinct ache below at the thought of him.17

And I loved the descriptions of their imaginations taking over. I thought it was a clever nod to Part One and very well executed. (In other words, these scenes are extremely sexy, and you're so talented at making sexy scenes actually seem sexy. Gosh, they are just so incredibly... hot.)

(I was actually thinking about this earlier, but I do love how, in his imagination, Suguru always presents her with a choice, always happy to go with what she would prefer to do, and his desire to 'repay the favor tenfold').18

He was close, the twitch of his dick in his hand told him so, and he imagined what it would be like to cum in your mouth, watching you swallow his release, if you’d want to, or cumming all over your face or chest, letting his cock drag over your tongue as he pulled out.19

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This is cute:

“More into the intellectuals, that man was far from it — I like an academic, sweater vests, glasses, a pretentious little office—“ and the glare is back, as you laugh, the rideshare sparing him from you continuing this conversation, but you also didn’t get to see the slight smile on his lips as you slipped into the back of the car.20

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I loved the softness of this scene. The intimacy. It was so soft and cute, and it just made my heart feel so warm and fuzzy.

“I can’t get this knot out of my hair, and I can’t get you out of my hair either,” he adds, as you roll your eyes, slipping off the bed and walking over. You ease the comb from his fingers, biting your lip at the brush of his fingers, “what are you—“  “It’s easier if someone else does it,” and he sighs, giving in, as your fingers undo the knot in his hair gently, “your hair is really smooth and fine, probably why it tangled so fast,” and he only hums in response, his body relaxing under your touch, as you comb through the rest of his hair. You bite back a smile, he’s almost like a cat, keening under your touch, “feels good?” You murmur.  “Yeah, it does,” and you don’t want the moment to end, you want this excuse to touch him to remain, the first time you’ve been able to breach this wall between you two — and it’d be over in an instant, “I think that’s good,” he mutters.21

This scene just speaks to and prefigures the potential intimacy and warmth of their relationship. Beautiful.

I have a soft spot for this section:

But you couldn’t — but you could look, stare into the void, without becoming part of it.  You shift again to face him this time — how could the back of someone’s head be so beautiful? Jet black locks that you had combed yourself fanned out on his pillow. But you could spot the nape of his neck through the tresses, a lovely spot that you only wished you could lean over and bury your face in. Your eyes began to droop.  Hypnos finally took pity. You could only sleep this way. Your eyes finally flutter shut — you should have known — you were always the most comfortable with him in your sight.22

I think it's charming. I love it. I love that she can only sleep soundly once she turns her face to look at him. (Is this, too, a subtle reference to her being perceptive to pursuing a relationship while he is turned away, so far, as he needs to contend himself with the risks and his logically driven and book-affected brain cannot content and compute his intense attraction to her just yet? Perhaps I am reading too much into this. Regardless, it is charming.)

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I liked how you used this chapter, too, to divulge more about and explore further Professor Geto's character, his psychology, his feelings, and his comprehension of his burgeoning feelings. He is a charming character, and your execution of him is excellent, which only makes him more likeable.

He was jealous. Not of Toji — but of the idea of you being with someone else — of your attention drifting from him, of you drifting from him. He turned to lay on his back, he really was fucked wasn’t he?23

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I love how his dreams collide with reality. I like the fact that the idea of dreams just runs throughout this series—their dreams, the dreams of being together, the dreams of academic success, all sorts of dreams.

And I love how you executed this—how it did feel as though worlds were colliding with the world of dreams merging with the world of reality and becoming one, and how in the haziness of sleep, it was unclear whether the softness of the tangible body was real or fake, and how that, in itself, just bleeds into so many discussions in ethics and philosophy.

I love the intimacy of sleep, their responses in their sleep, and the idea of dreams revealing true feelings, and just how, through sleep and even without realising it, they were just driven to embrace each other, and how natural and comfortable that felt. (And how this foreshadows that later will become their every day, no?)

I love this. I do. So beautiful.

And his unconscious allows it — allows him to dream of you.  Dream of your face buried in the crook of his neck, your soft breaths warming his skin, his nose buried in your hair. Your fingers grasped at his shirt, your other hand thrown over his middle. Why was your scent so intoxicating? He sighs, pulling you impossibly closer, and you shift, your leg sliding around his waist, as you pressed closer, pulling a groan from his lips as your core grazes right against his morning…visitor.  And you move again, nose brushing against his collarbone, his name on your lips, quietly whispered like a secret against his skin. It was perfect — you were perfect.  But what if this wasn’t a dream? The back of his mind prods — but that’s not possible, he was home in bed, right? This wasn’t real. It was the same dream he always had, of waking up in your arms, a lazy morning spent together in bed, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, the sheets becoming dappled in sunshine.  No, there was no way this was real, he sighs into your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, but even if it was, he thought as he drifted, he didn’t want to wake — not yet.24

(Yes, I did just participate in the bad practice of quoting an overly long passage, but you know what? I don't care. I love it too much, and that's why I just felt this need to paste it whole again because I just wanted to highlight and show, and re-show in a new light, just how beautiful this passage that you had written was and how it just works so well together as a pity and beautifully written bit of prose.)

(I can't help but notice the dichotomy of her mind—she is content with admitting to herself that she is in love with him, yet she still tries to maintain a psychological distance by referring to him as 'Professor Geto' in her mind.)

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Funny, sexy, tension-inducing, brilliant:

Your hand pressed against his chest, your body against his, noses brushing, your eyes unable to tear away from the other — his eyes were even prettier this close — a dark brown, nearly black, with flecks of another color — purple? You can’t tell if that’s your heartbeat or his that’s racing with how close you are, chest to chest. And even as you try to shift, you make it worse by slipping, your hips rubbing against each other’s.25

(NB: I also like this take on Suguru's eye colour.)

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This was brilliant. Having them hurriedly walk into a random lecture only to have the topic of student-teacher relationships brought up is just brilliant. It's fantastic. The humour, the pointed reference, their stark realisation, and horror… just brilliant.

This is a lovely description, too:

You tugged at the collar of your shirt, adjusting your clothes. And if that wasn’t enough, you were going to spend the day sweaty and disheveled. Meanwhile, you stole another glance at your professor — his skin flushed from running, button up not buttoned up all the way, glasses instead of contacts, and his hair in its usual bun, but a few strands were nearly coming loose — he still looked fucking delectable. But he wouldn’t meet your gaze, his body positioned to lean away from yours, his eyes fixed ahead.26

*********************************************************************

Oh! This was one of my favourite scenes in this series! It's just so soft, flirty, playful, and just so, so cute! I really, really loved it! It really brought a smile to my face.

The screen flashed with the image of him sleeping all lopsided on the couch from that first night, as you covered your mouth in both horror, but also to stifle your laugh.  His eyes flicker to you, “When did you—“ and you reach for your phone, but he moves it away, “not until you answer my questions,”  “This isn’t class, Professor, I want my phone—“ you reach for it again, and he’s holding it above your head, “oh real mature—“  “Like the picture you have of me as my contact picture?” He raises an eyebrow, a real smile pulling at the corners of his lips, “thought I should resort to my student’s level,”   “Your T.A.,” you correct, as you reach for your phone again, but he’s using his height to his advantage, and he’s beginning to walk backwards, “come on, give it back—“  “Not until I change and delete that photo,” and he’s trying to hold your phone up to your face to unlock it, and you gasp.27

And you know what I also liked about this easy playfulness? The fact that they felt like a couple here.

(Ah, gosh, the detail of holding up the phone in front of her face is so funny. I loved it so much.)

I love this, too. It's so incredibly romantic that it even made me feel a little shy:

And you lean closer, your other hand gently brushing against his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw, “So if I ask for a kiss, will you give it to me?” You won’t close the gap anymore than you have — he needs to reach for you too, let himself give into gravity.  He does, as his hand brushes against your cheek, thumb rubbing back and forth across your cheekbone, “will we stop at just a kiss?” He murmurs, leaning so close that your eyes want to flutter shut.  “Only one way to find out,” and his lips brush yours. And it’s not chaste like your first kiss was, no, his lips slide against yours, as his other hand slides to the back of your neck. He swallows your gasp eagerly, if the smirk you feel against your lips is anything to go off of. Your teeth graze against this bottom lip teasingly, drawing a small groan from the back of his throat.28

*********************************************************************

I thought the free will versus determinism discussion was a nice touch. I really liked it, as it really showed that Professor Geto's mind operates in tandem with and in dialogue with past scholars that he's researched and long-thought about. Of course, he would interpret the constant interruptions of life through such a framework. I loved it.

*********************************************************************

(Just as a note, I do like the reference to his hair changing and her noticing it, as in a way, it just shows how she kept her distance so much that his hair even changed during that time.29)

Oh, I loved this too. Clever. Very much so.

“Why shouldn’t we?” you felt like a child demanding an answer from their parent.  “We agreed—” “I don’t remember an agreement-”  “It was unspoken—”  You scoff, crossing your arms, “You really are only a professor because an attorney would know that binding agreements can’t be unspoken,” he falls silent, his voice soft.30

THIS IS A FANTASTIC NOD TO PART ONE. NEARLY MADE ME SCREAM. THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM WAS JUST SO WELL EXPLORED. FROM THE REFERENCE TO WHAT HE WROTE IN HER PAPER AND SCANLON TO THE LINGUISTIC SIMILARITY BETWEEN PART ONE AND PART TWO THAT IS JUST SO SUBTLE AND CLEVER. AND I LOVE HOW THEIR ATTRACTION—BOTH INTELLECTUALLY AND PHYSICALLY—JUST COMES TO FRUITION HERE.

“Not very ethical,” you chuckle breathlessly, as your fingers rake through his now disheveled bun, “but I can’t find the sense to care,” your noses brush, as you can’t help but smile, “what would Scanlon or Kant say about this?” And his arms lift you onto his desk, several papers crumpling underneath, “Who the fuck cares?” he’s hissing, his lips find yours in a searing kiss, as his thighs press yours apart, as he settles himself between your legs, his knee grazing your core, drawing a delightful gasp from your lips, “I know what I want,” and his eyes soften, his fingers tracing the length of your cheek, “do you?”31

I love this scene. It is just so... hot. 

I'm afraid I... I can't quite form an apt commentary, here... It is just so... sexy... heated... fuelled with desire... and frantic... and hot... and just so...

Ah... I just love it so much.

“Let it ring,” his lips find yours in a bruising kiss as his finger deliciously sinks into you, “I have all I need right here,” he whispers, and you pull him back into a kiss by the collar of his unbuttoned shirt, your hand sliding up and down his chest, while he worked a finger into your cunt, “so fucking wet f’me, so perfect,”32

My Gosh... isn't just... this version of Professor Geto the sexiest?

It just… unlocked and reaffirmed my new desire and suspicion that, yes, it turns out that a gauges-wearing 6'3'' ethics professor with long black hair and muscular build is my ideal type. (And I am not alone in that judgement, am I now?)

*********************************************************************

If it's not clear, I really love this story. I love how you chose to continue it. I love the way you write and how witty your writing is, and how you manage to tackle sexual tension, and just tension in general, and the affair of falling in love with someone and falling in love deeply. 

Thank you for writing this fantastic story. I really, really look forward to reading part three!

Sending lots and lots of love your way xxx

*********************************************************************

1. Gojonanami, 'Illicit Affairs', Tumblr, Jan 20, 2024, accessed Jan 21, 2024, https://www.tumblr.com/gojonanami/740088380922232832/%F0%9D%90%88-%F0%9D%90%8D%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%83-%F0%9D%90%92%F0%9D%90%8E%F0%9D%90%8C%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%8E%F0%9D%90%8D%F0%9D%90%84-%F0%9D%90%8E%F0%9D%90%8B%F0%9D%90%83%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%91?source=share.

2. Just as a fun fact, to be completely honest with you, I didn't know what 'pantyhose' even was at first, as we call them 'sheer tights', and for a second, I was a little stumped until I remembered what they were, but just to confirm, I did end up googling just to check, and afterwards, I felt a little silly for doing so!

3. Gojonanami, 'Illicit Affairs'.

4. Gojonanami, 'I Need Someone Older', Tumblr, Jan 6, 2024, accessed Jan 21, 2024 https://www.tumblr.com/gojonanami/738725519632334848/%F0%9D%90%88-%F0%9D%90%8D%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%83-%F0%9D%90%92%F0%9D%90%8E%F0%9D%90%8C%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%8E%F0%9D%90%8D%F0%9D%90%84-%F0%9D%90%8E%F0%9D%90%8B%F0%9D%90%83%F0%9D%90%84%F0%9D%90%91?source=share.

5. Gojonanami, 'Illicit Affairs'.

6. Ibid.

7. Ibid.

8. Ibid.

9. Ibid.

10. Ibid.

11. Ibid.

12. Ibid.

13. Ibid.

14. Ibid.

15. Ibid.

16. Ibid.

17. Ibid.

18. Ibid.

19. Ibid.

20. Ibid.

21. Ibid.

22. Ibid.

23. Ibid.

24. Ibid.

25. Ibid.

26. Ibid.

27. Ibid.

28. Ibid.

29. I have to confess, too, that I just really love his hair. It is so beautiful—black and silky, just the most elegant rivulets flowing down his back.

30. Gojonanami, 'Illicit Affairs'.

31. Gojonanami, 'I Need Someone Older'.

33. Gojonanami, 'Illicit Affairs'.

omg don’t be sorry at all — you are so incredibly sweet to do this in the first place — like I wanna cry every time I read these asks you send me. it took me a while to respond because i need to be on my laptop to reply and i've been super busy so i haven't been able to, but now i finally can!! I reread them all the time but I do respond — so let me reply to this in full under the cut

I am so glad you have enjoyed the series and professor geto overall — it has been such an interesting journey to this fic. like i never expected 'three's a crowd' to evolve into something like what it has. i'm so excited to write the other professor fics, you would not believe. i'm glad i was able to keep what makes suguru, suguru, as you said, because that's so important to me while writing aus, and why in the past, i strayed away from writing them. but i've really enjoyed writing the ones i have.

ok the fact you want to reread it makes me emotional - it makes me so incredibly happy and grateful. and thank you so so much for all of your incredibly kind words.

i'm so glad you enjoyed the opening scene - it's something that popped into my head almost immediately after finishing part 1 and i knew i had to write it. wearing your partner's clothes is a trope i love so much, and like it's so hot like you said - so i'm so glad you loved it.

i'm so glad you enjoy those little details and the sexual tension -- i try really hard to make sure the right amount of tension is present, and try to use grounding description while conveying emotion.

i'm so glad hahah - i thought people would be mad lmao - it's such a tease, but i thought it was perfect, rather continuing straight from the last part. it made more sense to skip forward, and then explain what happened after. and the motif of dreams i wanted to use a little more :)

i love using imagery to show where the character's mind is at. i feel like i couldn't escape the image of him watching his ceiling fan spin, just unable to tear his eyes away, just as his mind spun in the same circle over and over again.

i really wanted to put the pantyhose ripping in part 1 but laney and hannah were both like save it for part 2 and i couldn't but agree, but this was my slight homage to my desire to do so in part 1.

i'm so glad it doesn't seem repetitive -- i always if i'm bordering on being so repetitive, but one of my favorite things in literature / media / etc is the idea of parallelism -- that's why i think i loved hamilton so much when i listened to it. the idea of these many lines tying together in so many pivotal parts and beats of the story was some of my favorite things (obv the musical itself is pretty controversial in some ways at this point, but the writing and music is still incredible) and its some of the best examples of this i can think of. i love having that because i think human brains are receptive to patterns -- it's how we are taught to perceive and think about the world, and it's how our brain is just wired to function. and so i love including that in my writing.

hahah yeah i had to include something that references the trauma we all went through when that goddamn email went off hahah. i literally had three different endings for part one in mind when i wrote it, and this is the one i landed on hahah.

i'm glad you think my dialogue is witty and charming?? like what a compliment T_T. it was funny because i think i wrote that scene around 3 am (i am perpetually a night owl).

oh yeah i know i was toting the line of cliche when i had him freeze, which is why i always try to add a little more to it -- because i've had that happen, where i said something i shouldn't have, and i find myself physically freezing or cringing at the thought.

i knew i needed to explain his side of why they didn't -- i wanted him to outline why it was bad, because as the person in power, it is his responsibility to draw that line -- it's his line to draw because he has the power so it was super important and purposefully that he explained that :).

i'm so glad you said you saw their secret language because that's part of the reason i titled this fic illicit affairs after the taylor swift song because i think the lyrics, "you taught me a secret language i can't speak with anyone else" fits them so well.

i'm glad you enjoyed seeing geto's pov, i thought it was super important to include especially for the set up to this fic :) - i really wanted to show his own struggle and his own want for reader, despite everything and the choices they both made.

hahaha i was going to have her tell him later in this part about the dream, but there was never a good time -- but i think it will be either in part 3 or there definitely will be an 'extra credit' fic about it!!

hahah when i was picking a snippet to post -- it was hard because i couldn't choose anything that would spoil the plot -- so i chose that snippet, knowing that it teases their trip without revealing anything else.

oh yeah that shirtless panel did things to me and that's why him coming out of the shower like that happened hahahaha. and i had to include a hair combing part -- hannah has been asking me to write on forever, so i thought this would be perfect :).

i'm so glad you picked up on the imagery of him being turned away, and then eventually having to face them -- and how she's facing him :). you read into it perfectly and it makes me so happy!!! :)

you're so sweet honestly when you highlight a passage, it honestly forces me to reread my own writing, which is honestly something i do very often haha. and it's kind of nice. i've honestly had moments where i know i'm going to wake up or i have to wake up, but i make the conscious choice not to, if only to have a few more moments, and i wanted this scene to reflect their choices of that.

omg when me and hannah discussed the scene of them coming into the conference and ending up in a lecture that discussed student / teacher relationships -- it was so funny i had to write it. it was great hahahah. i just thought it would be just their luck for that to happen.

i was trying to figure out a way to have them come back together, and i was struggling to find a way without a full discussion, and this wasn't the time for that. so i thought this cute way of the photo and their little fight was perfect for that :).

i knew i had to bring it back to part 1 in this scene since this scene is like a mirror of what happened in part 1. you are definitely not alone -- he's too perfect honestly and he's ruined me for everyone else truly hahaha.

thank you for this ask, and again i'm sorry it took me so long to reply. i just needed to find the time to sit at my laptop and write this out because i couldn't write a response that did this justice on my phone. it literally means so much to me and i still look at all of these ones you've written all the time and they truly mean the world. thank you so much for this. i truly don't deserve you.

also the footnotes are amazing as well hahah - professor geto would very much approve (and so do i <3).

#sab [asks] #sab [anons] #sab series [prof suguru] #sab [praise] #sab [fic reviews] #long post

[jaydeiswriting]

Craft in the Real World by Matthew Salesses is the best writing craft book I've ever read. It has completely reoriented what "craft" means to me by situating it as what it is: a set of cultural expectations about how stories should be told and to whom. There's sometimes a chasm, at least for me, between what I know theoretically and what I have adequately applied in all the relevant contexts in my life. Reading this book let me know that I was neglecting to apply what I knew about how language, culture, and literary traditions work together to my prose writing and recontextualized how I see "craft" and approach writing advice. I'd recommend reading even just the Google Books sample; the whole first section is included and introduces the concept well.

The biggest takeaway is that craft is not neutral. Craft is inherently cultural. It's obvious in hindsight with the literary traditions born out of very specific cultural movements that define "good craft" in specific periods of time. It's also obvious in hindsight because I've been well aware that language holds and is shaped by culture and worldview, so how we use language is always reflective of culture and culturally defined value systems. And yet, somehow, it was a revelation to me to learn that the "rules" of craft are also cultural, and the most prominent ones are those that reflect the dominant culture of the West. This, like the book says, means that "learning the rules before you break them" necessitates learning the expectations of the dominant culture before you're "allowed" to "deviate" and take on a voice formed by your own outside cultural values. This has destabilized all writing advice and craft concerns for me and made me deeply question what I hold as "experimental" (could it just be the unspoken traditions of the non-white, non-cishet, disabled or otherwise "non-normative" writers that I don't yet recognize?). I'm questioning so many of my past reading and writing and learning experiences and I'n getting a lot of value out of that questioning.

Several sections of this book stood out to me, but some significant ones are under this cut with some further resources I've looked at.

craft as cure or injury:

2. cultural expectations vs cultural exceptions

3. examining craft terms (conflict)

4. experimentalism vs. writing to other traditions

5. "the reader," and who we write to

This is not even half of what stood out to me, but it's a start. It also invested an interest in me to seek out other resources about craft written from a non-dominant perspective. I've found this incredibly helpful website linking to a bunch of other books and essays offering racialized perspectives on craft:

And to keep things in one place and obvious, another link to the Google Books sample of Craft in the Real World:

There's also a bibliography at the end of Craft in the Real World that has some relevant additional texts.

And I'm just on the lookout now to collect more. Suggestions welcome.

#amwriting #writing #writing advice #writing craft #writeblr #writing community

[agostobuwan]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my loves @captainjunglegym and @taste-thewaste

How many works do you have on ao3?

37!

What's your total ao3 word count?

189,246

What fandoms do you write for?

red, white and royal blue!! i used to write for marvel and glee but that was a lifetime ago.

Top five fics by kudos:

be the summer in my heart (stevetony)

a beautiful chance (firstprince)

pour some sugar on me (firstprince)

oh shit...are we in love? (firstprince)

cologne (firstprince)

Do you respond to comments?

i try to!! i've been busy lately so i haven't been really able to go into ao3 and respond. but i do get the email notifs for all the comments i receive, and let me tell you the serotonin boost from reading them is astounding

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

somebody catch my breath - the only fic i've written that had a major character death

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i write a lot of happy endings, but i guess the happiest one i've written has to be oh shit...are we in love? because it's just so sappy and i love my boys

Do you get hate on fics?

not necessarily hate towards me but how i write my characters and their questionable morals

Do you write smut?

hell yeah baby, is that even a question?

Craziest crossover:

having some of tzp's characters under one roof as henry's ex-boyfriends LOL

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, but i've been accused of stealing someone's fic idea???

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no i haven't!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven't! but i'm planning to with @onthewaytosomewhere :)

All time favorite ship?

look... finding firstprince has changed my life for the better

but also taynick shush

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i want to finish them all, and maybe i will someday - but the little prince firstprince au is probably one i don't think i'll finish anytime soon

What are your writing strengths?

balancing comedic relief and fluff and angst.

What are your writing weaknesses?

procrastination. descriptors. long prose between dialogue. if i can just have a fic with just dialogue i would.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

if it makes sense for the character, then it's fine. i also like having translations in the notes section or embedded through link.

First fandom you wrote in?

glee lmao

fun fact: i only joined tumblr because i was doing a glee rp that moved from facebook to tumblr. i played jeff the warbler. and my life has never been the same since.

Favorite fic you've written?

it's a tie between when you need a man (henry falling in love with different versions of tzp hits so good), pour some sugar on me (alex as an nsfw baker???? yes fucking please), or oh shit...are we in love? (childhood friends to lovers is everything to me)

tagging: @eusuntgratie @henrysfox @onthewaytosomewhere @priincebutt @henryspearl

#tag game #20 questions #my writing

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hi Muffin, I have read your fanfics and think you are a great writer. I was wondering if you had any tips for improving your prose?

Well thank you, I'm glad you like my stuff.

I suppose here's what I've got for you off the top of my head.

Read Great Literature

To learn great prose, the first and easiest thing you can do is look to the best.

Young Adult is not allowed. No, seriously, it's verboten. I can list two, maybe, young adult books that have what I'd consider to be good prose and it's none of the ones people gravitate to on tumblr.

You're going to have to read the classics.

Now, who you pick is up to you, lots of great authors have very different styles and none of them are wrong. Steinbeck, for example, very purposefully writes the way he does and it works brilliantly.

I'm going to suggest two: Kafka and Nabokov. If you can stomach the material, Nabokov has the best prose, hands down, I've ever seen from an author. There are other great authors out there, but what Nabokov does with imagery, with wittiness and puns, with everything is unparalleled. Read any book by Nabokov. Kafka too, has great, surreal, imagery and particularly does extremely well things that shouldn't be natural to describe. He expertly writes scenes where he has to explain what's happening because it would not be intuitive otherwise.

Do a first pass if you're unfamiliar with the work to get the reading the story part out of the way and then go back and try to see what you thought worked, didn't work, and most importantly why it worked.

Why was X section good at a) conveying to you the reader what was happening b) sticking in your brain. Read enough and you'll start to get an idea of what you really like in prose.

Read Shitty Literature

On the other end, once you've read really good things, go and read really really bad things. Yes, I'm serious, because this is where you're going to see people who thought they knew what they were doing fall flat on their face.

Everyone makes fun of My Immortal for going above and beyond describing Ebony's outfits. What they don't mention is that half these people making fun of My Immortal make the same mistake and describe, in excruciating detail, every article of clothing their beautiful character is wearing.

Here you will see what you do not like and, again, ask yourself why it's so bad. What is it about it that just doesn't work.

This will inform you what not to do and, most importantly, that there's no hard and fast rules. I see people claim that there are "never do X", "only do X if you do Y", but I have also seen all of these rules broken masterfully in real literature and clutching to them too tightly results in prose that obviously came from this kind of draconian logic.

Find a Beta Whose Style You Like

Sit down and write something, it may not be good, but that's not important right now. Right something you really want to write, feel passionate about it, then go out and find a beta.

Specifically, find someone whose writing you want to emulate. Not just because they're popular, but because you specifically like the way they write.

Often, I see people with betas who either a) have never written themselves b) have not written much or c) they have betas whose style they don't actually like much. Betas here are great, but their limit is really spellchecking and grammar as well as general sounding board for ideas, they won't be able to help you sound the way you wish to.

With the right beta, they can help walk you through which paragraphs should be rewritten and why, and eventually you'll get an instinctive feel for where more imagery should go, less, what should be expanded on, what shouldn't, etc.

Hope this all helps.

#ask #anon #writing #writing advice #praise

[pebblysand]

Hi pebblysand, I hope your week is going well!

From the Ask Game: #11, and #14 please.

helloo! thank you! i hope you're doing well too!

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

idk if these are favourites, but these are three fics i recently read for the first time and really enjoyed:

the triumph of magic by miniequill (odainath) (harry/hermione ; <5k ; AU) After Ron abandons them, Harry and Hermione take on the challenge of finding and destroying the Horcruxes. HHr.

i often feel like i have this strange parasocial relationship with odainath (although we've never talked) because they have been in literally every fandom i have been in at some point or other (including the most niche ones) and they are an incredible writer. i was super stoked to find out they had HP fics as well, and of course you know that i'm a sucker for a good harry/hermione story. i found this one very intriguing - the writing is gorgeous as always, and i was very much vibing this.

.

perpendicular by akissinacrisis (it's tagged hinny but i'd say gen ; <5k ; AU) Tom props himself up on his elbow. ‘So, let me get this straight: you’re falling in love with a posh redhead from boarding school who doesn’t own a telephone.’ AU: Harry Potter, member of Stonewall High’s sixth form, meets a pretty redhead at a party. Harry/Ginny, rated Teen+, oneshot.

this is a very interesting squib!harry take unlike anything i've ever seen before. the writing in this was absolutely stellar - i laughed at times, but was also taken by the overall gorgeous heartbreak of this. it's funny, although i totally respect how the author ended it (and understand why they end it that way), it's one of those where i almost wish it could have gone on longer/explored the alternative ending. it would have been a very different (and probably much longer fic) but i would love to see someone write it.

.

orchards by @whinlatter (hinny ; <20k ; CC) The orchard is a wild, thousand-flower, crumpled-gate, fall-down-fence sort of place, where things grow that you’ve never asked for, that you’d never expect. The summer of ’96, the story of something flowery he thought he might have smelled at the Burrow. Canon-compliant, oneshot, summer between OotP and HBP. Non-linear narrative, flashbacks/flash-forwards to DH. Harry/Ginny.

if you gravitate anywhere close to the hinny fandom, you will know that everyone and their cousin has been recommending this fic since it came out - let me tell you: everyone and their cousin are right. it took me a while to get to it but this is one of the most beautiful hinny one-shots out there. the writing is stellar - i left a comment to whinlatter after i read it that went over the AO3 character-count limit and was completely unhinged, and i am not sorry. if you haven't already, go read this. please and thank you.

.

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

you'd love it, right? if i could give you a formula.

as european as i am (please don't ever give us compliments, we don't know how to deal), i also think it would be highly hypocritical of me to sit here and be like "ohmygod, idk, i'm so shocked you'd ask me that!' i've been writing for seventeen years and if there is one thing that has always been consistent in my comment section from the very beginning is the fact that i seem to be able to make people feel things. there are writers who are incredibly good with words. gorgeous, gorgeous prose that reads like poetry. there are writers who are good with descriptions, scenery so vivid you can almost touch it. there are yet others who are good at giving you a feel for a time period in your life, describing childhood or adolescence or moving out of home for the first time. what i am good at, is this. the rawness and the gripping emotion that makes you forget how to breathe. i know some of it is healing for some people, too.

i don't think there's a formula for this. it's even harder for me to break it down especially because it's not something i've ever had to work on - i've always had it. ask me how i work on descriptions (which are very much not my forte), and i'll much more concrete advice to give you.

Do you draw from personal experiences? no, not really. i mean, i'm sure i do on some subconscious level, but i very rarely am like "oh, i felt this at x moment in my life, let me channel that". i've never studied psychology either, or done much research on how people react to certain things. for me, it's a gut feeling. it's a raw, instinctive understanding of people, and the human experience as a species. i don't pretend to have any formal expertise on this. i follow my gut, that's it. and, if you ask me: Do you ever feel what the characters feel? no, but i do feel something.

when i write something that works (emotionally works) i get this sense of indescribable peace in me. and this is true for moments that carry very dramatic emotions (think chapter 8 of castles) but also happy moments, like the roadtrip in chapter 16. for me, as a writer, these are exactly the same, in terms of how i feel when i'm writing them. and how i feel is like: nothing in the world exists anymore. i have no job, no family, no friends, no boy trouble, no concerns, no nothing. you know how, in chapter 16, the narration says: "he smiles like no one has ever died"? - yeah, that.

hours of just me and the words on the page. it's hard to put into words without sounding cheesy but i feel this sense of calm alignment with the universe. i'm not one for drugs but i think it's probably what a high feels like. have you ever been able to just empty your head? where you're in complete control and the chaos of the world cannot touch you? that, too.

and, generally, if i feel that, i know i'm onto something. i know that whatever i'm writing is working. generally, in that "state", hours can go by and i won't realise it. i'm writing, writing, writing and suddenly it's like - 5AM the next day. if i don't, that's when i'm like "shit, something's not working," and i have to work and work and rewrite and rewrite until i find a solution. until i feel that. so, while there's no formula i follow, i do get that writing "high" that sends me into the right direction.

and, for the record, that "high" is the only reason i write. like, sure, comments and feedback and the community are amazing and idk if would write *as much* as i do without them. i also 100% seek attention and validation, but i think if there wasn't also this sense of peace in me that came with it, i would probably find community in a different way. but, you know, i'm a bit of a drug addict. i'm sure if someone told you there is one thing that will bring you more peace, joy and sense of accomplishment than anything else in your life and sure you have to work for it, a lot, but once you're done, it'll be the highest, high you've ever been on, you'd sign up, too.

to me, writing (and this happens particularly in those emotional scenes you are referring to), is the absence of fear. it's the absence of anxiety. it's the absence of depression. it's the absence of worry. it's just pure calm and happiness. it may not be all those things for you as a reader (especially if i'm writing something tense lol), but it is for me. i don't think what i feel as a writer and what you feel as a reader are related, but they're definitely linked. and, when i feel one, i know you will feel the other.

and that maybe people will understand and benefit from what i am trying to say.

#asked and answered

[blorbologist]

hello did you say something about a lotr style retelling of campaign one???? if you're willing please do tell

Hi anon - this one likely won't be written for ages yet, I'd be happy to <3

So it's a very amorphous idea (like my Filles du roi AU) because I want to reread the books front to back before touching the project. But the ghist of it is that it'd be a mythological retelling of Campaign 1 with a similar framework to LOTR - a book built from the accounts of a few characters and them getting accounts from their friends / likely flat-out imagining some shit (hard to get a Sauron POV), written in prose of Tolkien's style. Characters will sing beautiful songs mid-battle, the hearts of men and their like are fundamentally good, and etc.

Here's the thing: Scanlan is the primary author, here, so he deliberately exaggerated and switched up a lot for the sake of the story. It might actually follow TLOVM's plot more closely than canon, because it already does a lot of the streamlining he would want to do.

I figure he only publishes this in his old age - when only he, Keyleth and Pike are left - and the girls both think the rest of the party would be delighted by this story so they don't go out of their way to correct it. Also Scanlan clearly worked hard on it with all the prose, illustrations, poetry and songs - it's a love letter to Vox Machina. (Some sections are from Vex when she was still around, with notes she got from Percy's journals. Tbh half the poetry is his, and all the Celestial.) There are also probably contributions (coughcorrectionscough) by Keyleth and Pike.

BUT ENOUGH WITH THE SAD SHIT

The main problem would be finding the right balance of LOTR elements and nailing the writing style. But I'm excited!

My thoughts so far include:

Given this is Scanlan writing this story, he and Pike are the main characters, taking up elements of Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin. Making them get separated and be present for the reclaiming of Whitestone (battle of Pelennor Fields, Merry & Pip) and their bond being pivotal to defeating the dark lord (Frodo and Sam. Pike doing the 'but I can carry you' thing <33)

Percy just... is Aragorn. It's stupid perfect for him: heir to an empire fallen from grace heavily associated with white and trees, hello?? Except all his names are part of his full name, not a host of aliases and titles.

Vex would likely be a combination of Faramir (ranger of Gondor, daddy issues galore) and Éowyn (I AM NO MAN, close friendship to one of the hobbits/gnomes, Trinket could be her horse). Both of them have a close bond with a brother that makes things absolutely heartbreaking. Except given she’s both Faramir and Éowyn she gets to smooch Percy-Aragorn, and their roles in the House of Healing are swapped (true love's crit).

Vax would likewise steal elements from Frodo (tragic bearer of the burden, cannot really go home) and Boromir :)

Keyleth and Grog neatly slot in with Percy as the Three Hunters. Grog and Percy n Kiki and Grog friendship time <33

Scanlan compresses the timeline so multiple great forces of evil act at the same time. Vecna is obviously Sauronlike, with a great evil land of evil. Undecided if the Briarwoods are Saruman (manipulation, sorta serve the great evil for their purposes) or Denethor (stewards of the white city, motivated by despair and in a twisted way love). Conclave could be akin to the Nazgul, or Saruman (Raishan namely, plus Saruman of the Many Colors = Chroma Conclave).

Look getting the balance Right between LOTR and CR and TLOVM is gonna be a bitch is what I'm saying, but taking some elements from LOTR would make it more fun.

Anyways apparently the theatrical edition doesn't include Éomer's cry of agony when he finds Éowyn on the battlefield???? Or Pippin looking for Merry amidst the corpses long after dark? I only ever watch the Extended Edition so im Heartbroken :c

Anyways watch this and think of the Twins (Éomer and Éowyn), Percy (Aragorn), and Pike & Scanlan (Merry & Pip):

#critical role #campaign 1 spoilers #tlovm #the legend of vox machina #lotr #the lord of the rings #OH SHIT I GOTTA GET TO THE LAB SOON BYE