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12pt-times-new-roman · 10 months

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c3e65

Y'know, it only came up because I saw them in the art reel, but the Judicators do sound alarmingly like Cybermen.

"We... we spent every waking hour of every waking day trying to get back to you. And you came back with -- you have a boyfriend now? You had a little tryst? And you (Imogen) -- you have a new best friend, apparently? I thought about you every moment, and I thought you might've been dead... we didn't have downtime, we didn't have fun moments, we didn't go shopping, we didn't have threesomes -- we went to the middle of nowhere, we saved a fucked up town, and we almost had one of the Ruby Vanguard murder all of us. That was our fun time."

"We're not angry that you didn't suffer -- but it's going to take a while for us to recover." If you told me that, by episode 60, Ashton would be the Bells Hells' voice of reason, I'd laugh at you. But here we are.

Ashton says that he's feeling weirdly okay, Orym is frustrated and wants to move, and Laudna is... withdrawn? Angry? There are a lot of emotions going on, most of them conflicting.

They agree to split up for a day to go investigate different lines of inquiry -- Ashton and FCG want to visit Milo, Chetney wants to meet with Ajit Dyal. Afterwards, they plan to teleport to Zephrah to talk to Keyleth.

I feel like it needs to be restated that the temple of the Dawnfather in Hearthdale was built 30+ years ago because they were given permission to do so by wealthy landowners who bought a chunk of land and let them use it. They increased their presence in response to the solstice, yes, but in the end their prolonged presence there was the result of capitalism and wealth disparity.

We go first to the Krook House. Milo's workshop is in complete disarray -- most of their creations and projects have been disassembled because a lot of it just stopped working. "Wait, were your meds arcane?" ashton--

Ashton hands Milo a mystery note and a bag with some stuff in it. "How quickly can you do that?" "A day and a half." He hands over his hammer. "What are you plotting?" "I think I'm getting a real job. I think we're gonna save the world somehow, fuck it. I think we're gonna be some fuckin' heroes."

Ashton had a lot of time to think over the past few days. They thought about their life, everything that's happened. And they've decided that now is not the time to be worthless, now is not the time to be useless. He doesn't like having things to lose, but now he does, their time apart made him realize that, and he knows he can either risk losing them or he can go all-in with this new family.

They also call FCG out, gently, on their self-destructive tendencies. FCG agrees that if they start taking care of themselves more, the rest of the group will spend less time taking care of them (i.e. they won't have to stop them from sacrificing themselves at every turn), and that they -- between Frida and their newfound faith -- have found a reason to live.

Sometimes, caring for other people is the most punk thing you can do. Or whatever that one post said.

We go next to Imogen and Laudna. They go to visit Xhudanna, who has taken up painting.

"You don't need to listen in to hear my thoughts. I'll share them with you." "...can I kiss you?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I don't think you realize, you're such an anchor for me, and when you weren't here, I did such horrible things -- I'm worried I'm a bad person --" "I've heard everything inside you, Laudna, and you are not a bad person. I said you were my tether. Whatever you did, you can tell me." She recounts what happened with Bor'dor, that she was literally hanging on by a thread when she did it. His betrayal broke her, and she couldn't let him live. She says that she lost control, even though her inner monologue in that moment told her that she was holding on to control.

"He attacked you, first of all. Fuck him. And whatever happened with [Delilah]... we'll make it right again, okay?" "Can I be honest with you? There's part of me that thinks we shouldn't. We're about to face the greatest challenge of our lives." Delilah can make her stronger, and she thinks she can use Delilah.

Meanwhile, Imogen doesn't know whether she wants to get rid of the moon's tether. Power is tempting, alluring -- maybe it's their destiny to harness it, maybe it's to challenge and reject it, but only time will tell.

There's something happening in the marketplace. People gathered around in a circle. A familiar voice. "We were never meant to be bound by their laws. We were always meant to rise above them." A hologram-like image of Ludinus hovers above the fountain, speaking of finally rising past the imposed destiny, of no longer being the "beasts of burden" to the gods but the driving force of future and fate.

Guards rush through -- "fuck, another one!" -- and pull a silver disk from the water. When they smash it, the illusion fades. In the crowd, there's mostly fear and confusion, this is adding to their anxiety -- a handful seem to be absorbing the words, but the wardens are hastily dispersing the crowd.

Lastly, Chetney, Fearne, and Orym go to visit Ajit Dyal.

Leading up to the solstice, ships from the north docked in Jrusar before heading south, but after it, there has been a steady stream of new skyships and soldiers.

When they ask about rumors, Ajit says that the people of Jrusar are afraid more than anything. The Quorum calls for calm, but it's hard to ignore the soldiers, and the "big red sign of impending doom." There's an alliance between Issylran militaries, the leader of Ank'harel (J'man Sa'ord), the Clovis Concord, and the Stratos Throne, and all of them are sending forces to the Hellcatch Valley.

There are rumors that everything has been organized by the Stratos Throne and that this is the start of a second Apex War; meanwhile, doomsayers are saying that this is the start of a second Calamity.

As far as enchantments go, many of the automatons running the gondolas have broken down, and multiple prisoners who had been bound by magic have escaped. This is mostly why Jrusar's local guards are on high-alert. The leader of the Ivory Syndicate was among those who were broken out.

The temples have been more reluctant than usual to open their doors.

They ask Ajit to point them toward someone who might know something about Old MagicTM, and he immediately returns from inside the hall with Deremon, a very elderly man who once tutored Ajit.

Chetney pulls out the El Crusty Vest de Ludinus (TM) and shows it to the pair. "This is very peculiar; I have no idea."

Because Ajit didn't hear Ludinus during the solstice either, they gather that hearing that message was related to one's proximity to the leyline nexuses. People who were close to nexus points heard the voice and had a chance of being teleported, it seems, which also means that there is a leyline nexus over both Emon and wherever Deni$e found Dariax.

From the Dyal Hall, the trio starts to head toward the Smoulder Spire to visit the temple of the Matron of Ravens. On their way, a scent catches Chetney's nose -- the most savory meat pie he's ever smelled. To Orym and Fearne, it's more of a stale grain smell. Following it, it becomes an overwhelming hunger, a bestial drive toward the source, like fresh blood on a hunt. Chet makes a WIS save and fails with a 16, sprints toward the source -- in a dark alleyway, there's a short man in a hood, and he tosses a pouch to Chetney -- he catches it, it's a herby, medicinal texture, and the moment he bites it the figure throws a silver net over him.

"Stay away, miss, this is official business!" Fearne immediately throws a spell at him for 31 damage. "It's just business--" "This is my business."

god, the fact that they're going for lethal force immediately and asking zero questions of this normal, leather-clad, dwarven dude they know nothing about is so incredibly telling. especially for Orym, who specifically goes for a gut shot first before tripping him.

"This is a problematic, cursed beast, and I'm going to bring him in." "I mean, you're not wrong, but he's our problematic beast." There's a bounty on Chetney's head, and this guy is intent on bringing him in, but notably he is not making any damaging attacks against Orym (who's blocking his path) -- he's just trying to push past.

Fearne approaches, asks if she can give Chetney a kiss with a 28 persuasion check, and casts stoneskin on him. Interestingly enough, she ignores the 100gp material component for the spell -- so I wonder if Matt is being more lenient with valued components this campaign.

Mister runs up to Chetney and uses fiery teleportation for the first time, which gets him out of the net.

"Tuyen sends her regards." This guy was hired by Tuyen Otwana, the shopkeeper of Prism Emporium -- the shop that overcharged him for a wood chisel, that he subsequently attacked.

As Chetney casts invisibility, I am reminded that we still have no idea why Chetney has the Shadow-Touched feat, nor why Imogen has the Fey-Touched feat. (If there's a narrative reason for either, which I have to assume there is.)

The dwarf picks up the net and misty steps away.

The trio continues to the Smoulder Spire, and climbs almost to its apex. There, they find the temple to the Matron of Ravens, made of a darker material and cleaner than anything else here. The doors are closed, but not locked. Inside, there is a singular figure who opens their arms to the trio. Orym leads them in. "What brings you to the Duskmaven's sight this day, little one?"

"I'm sorry -- I don't have anyone else to turn to right now. I'm having major questions of my faith, and the changes I see above have me worried." "You are not alone." "I am no stranger to death, and I have heard tales of fate. But the things I'm seeing frighten me. What's happening?" "The skein is tangled; the threads are not. The fear that you feel is felt by all... there is much sewn (sown?) -- confusion, distraction. They are doing what we all are doing: what we must do to survive. And our fates are intertwined; if they, if she, can see this through, they will see us through it with them. [How do you know that?] Faith."

The priest can still feel the Matron's influence, but that presence is different than it was before the solstice. She feels a "human vulnerability," and finds it both strange and comforting to feel that in something so grand. "She was like us once, so perhaps she has that vulnerability uniquely." "Do you know what her name was?" "There are none who live that do."

"She may not have the answers you seek, as we are in both a period of mourning and a period of preparation." "How much time you think we've all got?" "Come drink of the waters with me."

The priest leads Orym -- to pulls Fearne along -- toward the interior waterfall. Along the way, they notice that some of the interior lights are dark. She fills a steel pan with water, and offers it to Orym to drink. He leans down, closes his eyes, and drinks the (very cold, but refreshing) water.

The cold spreads through him as he drinks -- not uncomfortable, but cold. Fearne, Chetney, and the priest do the same; as the priest kneels, Orym thinks that he "is just looking for answers," while Fearne thinks loudly that she is "just feeding the root."

"Away from the warming light of the sun--" Is the Matron being portrayed as the opposite of Pelor? Is that what's happening here?

They all spend an indeterminate amount of time kneeling by the water, disassociating, listening to the sound of the water, the cold, the still, and they wonder if this is a piece of death herself. They feel cold, content, at peace.

When they emerge from this state, Chetney is visible, and the priest is gone. They open the front door to a crimson sky, a familiar crater, a beam of noxious energy firing into the sky -- inside the beam they see an orb, hear a scream that doesn't stop, a scream that encompasses the entirety of Exandria and beyond --

and they see a flash of a white porcelain mask, they emerge from their trance state. The priest stands before them -- "we are in a period of mourning for one of our own." That's why the temple's torches are low, why their doors are closed: they are mourning Vax'ildan, the Champion of the Matron of Ravens.

"How do we help? How do we help in the fight? How do we turn the tide?" "Faith."

Orym stoops down, takes a bit of the water from the pool, and smears it across the front of his shield.

The Bells Hells reconvene and share their stories. Laudna is visibly much happier than when they last saw her. Imogen gives Ashton an orange.

Orym would've heard things about "the Champion of the Matron" just as he would've heard about historical figures, and he'd know that the Champion had a tie to Keyleth, but Keyleth herself never mentioned him in front of Orym.

the Bells Hells don't even knows who the gods are. They don't know the difference between the Change Bringer and the Moon Weaver. Fearne doesn't now that Morri isn't a god. They don't know the difference between the Dawnfather and the Matron of Ravens.

And suddenly, the Bells Hells are debating whether they're trying to save the gods or trying to save humanity. Orym argues that those two causes are the same thing, but Laudna disagrees, and FCG agrees to too far of an extent. Imogen conflates a signal from a god to worship. Laudna equates leveling a block of a city to intervention of the gods. \

Ashton -- the most sensible one here at the moment -- says that there's a lot of conjecture about things that just happen. "I watched my parents get ripped to bits in a maelstrom of gods-know-what, I got thrown into a desert and picked up by shitty people and thrown into a fucking orphanage where I stayed -- more or less, what you'd expect. I fought a lot, I made friends, we did what we fucking could, and I fell out a window and woke up in a pain that has never stopped. And there were little sections ot my life where I prayed, and I begged, anything to all of them, any of them, and the only time they've ever spoken to me was the one who tried to fucking kill me less than a week ago. So, I'm here to save us, I'm here to save the people who live here, hell, I've had one fucking word I spoke to a fucking pile of earth that was more responsive and made me feel better and more connected to anything in my fucking life, that grounded itself more -- and you know what? I'm all for faith. I'm not gonna pick a god, they can pick me, they can pray to me, they can choose me more than I ever did to them."

I lied, Orym is the most sensible one. "History is littered with their positive influence here; but none of you would suggest wiping out every living being on earth because some of them are shitty. Some of them have done good, and I think that thinking black-and-white is comforting -- but it's a little more nuanced than that."

"Why can't i have faith in you all? Faith in Exandria, faith in you all, faith in those that came before the gods? The eidolons, the earth, the titans?"

There's a lot going on here, and Team Issylra is (deliciously) misinterpreting the eidolons and the Dawnfather's temple. They all have different opinions, and they're all hung up on the definition of "faith" -- but in the end, they agree that regardless of whether the gods are worthy of saving, Ludinus needs to fucking die. And that's something I can get behind.

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- the discussion of whether or not the gods should exist, of whether the should or shouldn't exhibit their power over mortal-kind, of whether mortal faith gives them life and power, of whether they are in control of fate -- all of it doesn't fucking matter right now. Those questions are ones that can be asked once this is all over. Because the Bells Hells know that, objectively, Ludinus' plan is evil, he is not the one who should fill that power vacuum, he needs to be stopped.

Fearne attempts to scry on Ludinus. As her consciousness extends toward him, she drifts in a liminal space with nothing to tether to, and she realizes that she is unable to scry on him. He has and is attuned to an amulet of proof against detection and location, the same item that shielded Caleb from Trent's eyes.

FCG attempts to scry on Liliana Temult. He focuses on the coin and sees its metal first become strands of hair, then become darker metal; his vision pushes through the coin and into darkness, which turns to redness. He finds himself in the familiar red dust storm that fills almost all the space around him -- but he sees Liliana walking, her hair and coat billowing in the wind. To her left is Ludinus Da'leth, and on the horizon, there are shapes -- structures, buildings... in the sky, a round body of a faint bluish-green coloration -- Exandria looms just beyond the dust storm above." That's all they receive.

They're on the SURFACE OF THE FUCKING MOON, on the SURFACE of RUIDUS ITSELF

It was like they were walking through a street. There is no distinction between home and building here -- it's just a street.

Laudna and Chetney think that this city was on the continent that got scooped up to form Exandria.

FCG asks the Changebringer whether Exandria is round, and she responds, yes.

The Bells Hells deduce that they need to figure out "how to ride [the beam]," that they need to find out how to get to the surface of Ruidus. Spelljammer, here we come!

FCG casts identify on the harness. "The funnel goes to the base of the neck, between the shoulder blades. It is designed, though it does not currently function, to take the essence of some sort of magic and funnel it to some sort of place on the wearer's body -- between the shoulder blades, on the neck."

Orym assumes that the device was designed to prolong Ludinus' life, because fey creatures are generally more long-lived than Exandrians.

Ashton finally asks the question of where Ira and Xandis are.

By sunset, Milo has finished the modifications on Ashton's hammer -- they have installed the immovable rod into the handle. "I'm not entirely sure what the properties of this are, aside from the fact that it's very unique, there's a refractory aspect of the crystal itself." Inside the sack was some amount of the refractory crystal they took from the Verdant Tomb, and incorporating it into the hammer has had some...... unforeseen implications.

Orym tries Caleb's sending stone. "Caleb Widogast. Bells Hells here. We survived -- where are you? Do you know what happened out there?" There's static fuzz, and no response. There is no indicator on the Treshi scry ball, and the Drixlich sensor points toward Uthodurn.

Imogen tries to cast sending on Ira. "Ira? Can you hear me, is this working?" With a 53, a familiar static of the "arcane forces in the sky."

FCG scries on Ira, but he makes his save. Ira exists, he lives out there somewhere, but he made his save.

Fearne scries on Ira. She focuses, and connects to "the pulse of life around Exandria" -- Ira is deep within a clustered, red-dust storm, not among structures or others but alone, pushing through a maelstrom, a stronger storm than they've said, trudging through an intense red. A dark shape arrives and he presses up against it, leans against a massive, smoothed boulder, and ducks into an alcove. Outside the storm, he blinks, pushes dust out of the corner of his eyes. Another figure approaches -- thick, partially patchworkly-armored torso, a muscular humanoid figure of deep red skin, oddly textured face-- features sallow and smooth, one of the Reilora. They gesture, and Ira follows. Their features are different than the figure they saw Imogen summon, and different than the gith body Team Issylra found.

Using Orym's shield as a focus, Imogen invokes the staff, and teleports the Bells Hells to Zephrah. "It's... mid-day, a beautiful cloud-dappled sky. A beautiful horizon among brown and red stones, clusters of trees, pathways that lead through the mountains, grass fields, the mountains to the east... a precipice of a cliff that is woven through the peaks of these mountains, pastels, bridges and ledges that encompass the rustic homesteads that make up this community like the existence of this village is a gift from the land itself... a tall cherry tree sits on the precipice to your right."

#critical role #note watches c3 #critical role spoilers #critical role campaign 3 #critical role c3 #critical role liveblog #long post

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toreii · 1 year

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Tamashina Mina spoilers part 16

More matches are being held such as the Fruit Stall team winning the 7th match. The 8th match will be held next. Leona wonders if that’s it for matches. There hasn’t been any formidable opponents. Kalim wonders what the next team is like. The referee calls for the Sunset Team’s vanguard player. The opponent steps forward, and Leona immediately recognizes him. Lilia asks him what is wrong. Does he know that guy? Sunset C asks Leona to come forward. Vil tells Leona that guy is looking for him. Kalim asks if he has business with them. He shouts that Leona is right over here. Leona growls.

Sunset C is surprised to see that Leona really did return to Sunset Savanna. Grim nervously wonders why those guys are staring at them with scary faces. Vil asks Leona what he did to these guys? Leona replies he did not do anything. Sunset C exclaims “Exactly!!” He goes to say that they competed in Catch The Tail last time, and before that, and won. Lilia is startled to learn they were the winning team. He noticed they trained differently than the others. Sunset C replies “Of course.” Sunset B explains that to become Sunset Warriors, they trained day after day. Sunset C says that he was very happy to finally get the honor he admired. Leona tells them that’s good. However, Sunset C yells that that’s not good at all!(He’s like another Sebek😅) It’s because he hasn’t been able to take Leona’s Guardian Class. Winning the Catch The Tail means taking the class. Otherwise, he can’t say he’s become an honorable Sunset Warrior. Sunset B adds that he also visited Leona’s place to take the class. Over and over again, he kept his promises to himself, and heard nothing back.

Lilia comments that Leona has evaded his responsibility regarding the “Guardian Class”. Kalim feels pity for the guys heading that Leona keeps breaking his promise. Leona replies that he doesn’t remember making such a promise because these guys say so. Leona says he also has his circumstance. He’s busy with his work as a housewarden every day. Jack is a little taken aback with that statement.

Sunset C vows to win again this year, and this time they will take the “Guardian Class”. He tells Leona to take a good look. Lilia asks if they are an experienced champion. If so, Lilia would like Sunset C to show him. The referee announces to start the game. It doesn’t take long when Sunset A manages to take the beads from his opponent. The referee declares him the winner, leaving the NRC boys stunned. Kalim says he moved so fast. Grim has no clue what exactly happened. Lilia says he expected him to be good at Catch The Tail, but his physical ability is extraordinary. It’s not an amateur move. Vil wonders who these people are. Leona says they are active royal guards. The boys are stunned.

Cheka wishes everyone good luck. Guard A shouts at the Sunset Team to not lose. Cheka is watching them. Guard B reminds them that Kifaji has been training them for an entire year. Leona is shocked to hear Kifaji trained them. Kifaji chuckles. He muses if the Night Raven College team will yield the championship.

Leona says Kifaji is out of line. Kalim recalls that Kifaji taught Leona. He’s a strong instructor. Lilia comments they’re a very serious group. Because they are proud of their positions as guards, their attachment as Sunset Warriors is probably stronger than ordinary people. Lilia mentions that in Briar Valley, he served as the King’s General of the Right Guards. He understands how they feel.

Just like his teammate, Sunset B wins his match quickly, and the referee declares him the winner. Kalim says he barely had time to observe. Vil comments that he’s stronger than he imagined. Lilia points out that the leader is a hyena beastman who isn’t in the game. It’s a pity he didn’t get to see him fight. Vil replies it’s going to be a difficult match either way.

Leona says it was to be expected those guys would participate. He’s wonders who will fight who as he thinks of a line-up with a high winning rate. Kalim grins and says he is relieved. However, Leona tells them in a normal fight, NRC would lose 99% of the time. However, if they follow his strategy, they have a 50% chance of increasing their winning chances. Vil does not feel reassured at all.

Leona mentions that those guys in the Imperial Guard are among the best soldiers in the country. That alone makes them a dangerous opponent. He adds that he didn’t expect Kifaji would give them special training. He had no idea he was skilled. Grim asks if they have no confidence. He teasingly tells them they’re weak. He laughs, saying that if it were him, he’d have already defeated them all.

Sunset C hums, noting that Leona has a few friends. He continues by saying that if they continued to be despised, the Sunset Savanna Royal Guard will be looked down upon, so he will tell Leona something good. In order to win this year, they prepared a secret weapon. Vil questions his words. Sunset C replies it’s a special player. He explains that the rules allow for the participation of one substitution player. Players can be substituted at discretion of the team. Of course, prior registration is required. Leona can’t believe it. He’s never heard of such a rule. Sunset C says it’s a new rule that was created in recent years due to the increasing number of injured participants. That’s why Leona-sama, who has been avoiding Catch The Tail, does not know. Leona curses Kifaji. He knew of the rules and kept quiet. Kifaji really doesn’t want to see the Sunset Savanna Guards lose. But no. Leona realizes that no matter what, Kifaji and the guards want him to do the “Guardian Class”.

Jack tells Leona he’s the enemy in their eyes. Vil comments he can see how much trouble Leona causes Kifaji on a daily basis. Grim exclaims that even if they have a secret weapon, as long as he participates, it will be a clean victory. Sunset C laughs, and wonders about that. Sunset B says there’s a warrior who was said to be a legend among the strong guards. He adds that the man is retired, but in Catch The Tail, he was active with a power no one could beat. He tells the NRC boys to look forward to it. Sunset A excuses himself.

Leona says that thanks to Grim’s provocation, he was able to hear unexpected information. Leona tells Grim it’s the first time he’s been useful. Fine play, furball. Grim laughs with excitement. Leona finally understood how amazing he is! Lilia remarks it was a complete coincidence. Kalim questions that even though they were strong, is someone stronger joining the guards? What kind of game will it be? Lilia says the overall strength of the team is completely superior to that one. Vil comments that the situation is beginning to become dubious.

Leona mentions for those who value their pride to make a retired person a player even as a substitution, it makes him wonder if the other side is desperate. Leona says he will need to redo his plan in order to fight them in the finals. He clicks his tongue, and informs the boys he needs to return to the VIP seats soon. Leona says he will return when it’s the finals. He tells the NRC trio not to lose until then.

To be continued in episode 5!!

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst spoilers #tamashina mina #translations not 100% accurate

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utilitycaster · 1 year

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Re: Wizard Stupid

As you outline it, i definitely believe its a thing. However, id like to object that Ludinus exhibits it in earnest. Absolutely its what he projects (ie. the absurdity of hating clerics for being gifted magic while working alongside SORCERERS), but i think he projects it knowingly and deliberately, which disqualifies him from Wizard Stupid.

Basically im denying the adage “Never attribute to malice what can be adequately attributed to stupidity”. Id LOVE your thoughts on this but its my belief that Ludinus is weaponizing populist talking points against what are basically ignorant common folk and traumatized people as a shield to hide his greater true desire to become god emperor of Exandria. Especially keeping in mind that us as the audience have a vaster knowledge of the Exandrian pantheon and its inner workings than a regular commoner who’s worked a farm all their life and just wants to make enough money for a meal. If right-wingers get away with this kind of shit all the time, i certainly believe Ludinus does, too.

I would disagree with a few things here; but to address the first point, Wizard Stupid really is just "I think the consequences of my actions will not come back to me, and indeed haven't necessarily thought them through at all", which I believe absolutely applies to Ludinus. While we don't know for sure that teleportation is broken, or that he's fucked the ley network and therefore arcane magic, those are both pretty likely. He activated a machine that had taken damage with his own life force. He also did hire Astrid, who is heavily implied to have been feeding intel to Caleb and would therefore be indirectly responsible for quite a lot of that damage. He stiffed Ira's bill; reneging on a contract with a fey even other fey think is kind of a wildcard? That's Wizard Stupid. I'd also note: never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity is much more about assuming that the person who cut you off in traffic is a fucking idiot who wasn't paying attention, not that they have it out for you and want you to crash. It doesn't mean people can't be both malicious and stupid, and we do know Ludinus is, canonically, evil. I am not denying his malice; I'm saying he's also, in some areas, very, very stupid.

In general though, I don't think a comparison to populism is apt. Ludinus and the Vanguard expressly aren't going around doing massive, active recruiting among common people who are, or perceive themselves to be, disenfranchised. Tuldus is actually the exception to what we've seen; the majority of Vanguard members we've encountered have been Ruidusborn. This is a cult recruiting vulnerable people. If it were truly populist, why is it not commonly known among the population? Why recruit Lilliana and not Relvin, who is similarly a regular commoner who's worked on a farm all his life? Why hasn't anyone in the party, many of whom have been living on the fringes of society, heard of it before now? Why are their only allies other tiny obscure cults and a crawler gang? Why are they killing what appears to be random travelers? The Paragon's Call members are honestly pretty apathetic, and the Malleus Key plan wasn't a recruiting tactic when Bells Hells encountered them; I think it's a case of "boss says we're killing god and they're paying well, so, sure, I don't care as long as I get overtime." Killing the gods is not a talking point being used to rally the masses; it's not populism and it's frankly not even popular. All things considered, the group at the Tishtan site is pitifully small.

I will also admit, and this applies here but to a few other posts as well, that I don't find a framing of Mortals vs. the Gods under any kind of real-world political structure to really work for me. The premise is in fact that the gods don't function like mortals, so even if killing the gods were a popular sentiment, which again, it is not, I don't know if it would map well to populism.

Now, I do agree that Ludinus is being deliberately manipulative and hypocritical. With that said this also doesn't rule out stupid for him (nor for real-life politicians). I do, in fact, think that no shortage of right-wing populists believe a decent amount of their own bullshit. Like...generally, a lot of fascists are very effective at amassing short term power, and they don't believe all the bullshit they say but use it to manipulate the population, and we obviously don't want that either, because it does not take terribly long to do a massive amount of harm; but they do often fuck up the long term planning. Eventually, you eliminate everyone you've been scapegoating and you still haven't built a utopia so you either need to, as Ashton said, get down to like 5 people at which point society collapses; or someone else shows up and you now become the target of the population's ire. Basically this is all to say you can be both stupid (and specifically Wizard Stupid, which is about ignoring immediate and possibly lethal consequences, often though not always in the service of pursuing knowledge or a greater vision) and manipulative, ie, Ludinus is not in fact disqualified from Wizard Stupid simply because he also deliberately misleads some people.

I also don't think Ludinus wants to become god-emperor and haven't seen any evidence he does - it's a theory, but I don't agree with it and believe he genuinely is mostly focused on just killing the gods. But, frankly, if he did wish to be god-emperor? Doing so by allying with powerful sorcerers whose powers are believed to come from Predathos? Of whom we know he - one of the most powerful archmages in the world - is jealous? And assuming he'll keep that position? With all the potential fuck-ups to magic? Also, specifically pissing off druids, who might actually (along with paladins) be the group most able to withstand what may go down if Predathos is unleashed given that their magic comes neither from the gods nor is arcane? Now that's Wizard Stupid.

#answered #faltermoth #cr tag #ludinus da'leth

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arclundarchivist · 1 year

Text

Spoilers C3E45

Turn back, ye shits, or be SPOILED!

Right, so first and foremost glad to see Tal back.

Secondly, hot damn Morri is terrifying, fucking Old Lady from Spongebob, AH! Real Monsters looking ass. Quite curious to see where things go with her in two weeks.

Now on to FCG, while not the biggest reveal of the session, Letters origin as a Harmonious Aeormaton is a curious thing. If they were meant to be protectors, and guardians, seemingly caretakes/companions for singular individuals was his “line” targetted exclusively, by what ever Mage caused the Care and Culling, or were “lines” like Devexian, or forms like a Hodmedods used? Also the Professor stated that he has never heard of a Aeormaton with healing abilities which further adds confusion to Letters purpose.

Did the person he was given to show him faith, and that was why they were chosen to be murdered in the first place due to rising Anti-God sentiment in the Age of Arcanum?

Also did this happen after Aeormaton’s were emancipated? Because if so, it adds another shade of darkness to his predicament as a Sleeper Agent.

But this leads me around to Ludenis, in a curious fashion, one could say. Firstly, the Hubris of this fucker is so thick you can taste it. Secondly, I’ll admit, I didn’t believe he’d be drinking his own Koolaid/acting the true believer but I am willing to accept I may have been wrong. Yet, his whole comment about “Power is just a Tool,” makes me think he does not share his Cults “devotion” to this new world, or Otohan’s belief in being “better” than baseline mortals.

I desperately wanted to hear who was on that list of Historic Ruidusborn, especially since he was so cagey about his own connection to the Moon and the Beast trapped within.

That and seeing a comment from someone made it click as to why the Ruby Vanguard(If it Was in fact them and not Otohan doing some fuckery), is that they were likely after lore regarding the Gau Drashari, if any remained, and their connection to the rituals of the Prime Deities. Could be off base, but it would be an interesting reason.

Yet, what drew my attention the most was his rant to Fearne before he left. About seeing the Wrath of the Gods first hand. Now at first blush, while the cast seemed convinced he was talking about the Calamity, I thought he was full of shit or they were just reading that wrong. After all, he is from Molaesmyr, which was destroyed in some unknown disaster, which he was indeed alive for. Yet, the fault for that disaster seemingly lies on the shoulders of Aeor and their fuckery, due to hints laid back in C2.

Yet, a thought struck me. Ludenis lived in Molaesmyr, but shit it was never stated that he was born there. He’s an Archmage, more than that an Elven Arcmage, who has long showed interests in powers that manipulate the fabric of reality and have the power to roll back the wheel of time. What if...what if Ludenis did see the Calamity, though some form of immortality or the usage of the Clone spell he survived into the modern age, but what if we go even further than that. What if he was a Mage of Aeor, what if he saw the “fear” of the Gods first hand as the “hated rivals” returned to Family once more and struck their city from the sky in an act of monumentous Divine Intervention.

A shard of Aeor landed in Molaesmyr. He could have in some shape or form landed with it. The folly that devestated the city, corrupting the Savalierwood, and eventually leading to the breaking of the Star Razor? A misstep in his attempts to finish his people’s work. After all, he said it himself Killing the Gods, “Has Been My Life’s Work.”

Hell, wouldn’t it be wild if he was behind the Care and Culling? Nah...unless!

Moving away from that crazy old bastard...we learned the likely name of Ruidus’s people: The Reilora. Somal claimed they were behind the Flairs, not Predathos, so either they are working for the entity, their likely creator and she wasn’t in the know as much as the others were, or there is some more nebulous shit going on up there. After all, like she said, some of them appeared in Flesh, while others were simply energy. But most importantly, she stated that some were kind, empathic, caring...could that just be a ploy, or is there something else going on up on that Moon. To quote the codger himself, “Creations outgrow their creators”, and that includes the purposes given to them. If Predathos created them after consuming Ethedok, and Vordo...what did he make them out of, and why would they not also wish to throw off the shackles seemingly placed on them by the divine.

I still say Ludinus’s plan is doomed to failure, likely a cataclysmic one if he “succeeds”, especially since, with the nebulous entity and existence of the Luxon, who is to say Predathos wouldn’t simply turn his attention to Exandria, even if he consumed the Gods first?

Also I saw someone say the Gods dying would be a good thing, cause the Raven Queen would get ate, allowing Vax to come back and I just...I don’t think that is how that would work at all.

Also saw another, claiming that a Ruidus win could allow CR to divorce from WoTC, since most of the Gods are pulled from base D&D content and I just...I don’t think even if they did pull away it would be anywhere near that simple.

#critical role #critcal role spoilers #cr fcg #cr ashton #cr fearne #cr imogen #cr orym #cr chetney #cr laudna #ruidus #predathos #aeor #ludinus da'leth #the luxon #vax'ildan #ashari #the raven queen

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ahungeringknife · 7 months

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365: May 15

When Shin woke up the ship was empty. Didn't really surprise him. He just laid on Wolf's lounge, eyes half closed. Outside it was night on Mars so the only light came from the dim always on lights on how to operate the emergency release on the door. He heard the sound of a Ghost transmat onto the ship but when he opened one eye Wolf wasn't with him.

"Are you awake?" Ghost asked him.

"Yeah?" Shin yawned and stretched before sitting up.

"I told Wolf to wait," he said.

"What's the matter?" Shin asked tiredly.

"Something came out of the Enclave," he said. Shin squinted at Ghost. What? "Will you come look?"

"Sure? What does that-- mean," he finished when he landed on Mars just outside the Enclave itself. The LZ was empty and dark, even Ikora and her Hidden had to sleep sometimes. He looked at Ghost. "Seriously?" he wasn't even wearing shoes! Or a shirt. He was more worried about the shoes.

"Sorry," he said.

"For someone who's Guardian is a problem you really do stress out too much," Magpie said and dressed him.

"Yeah well-

"Save it," Shin waved a hand at Ghost and went down into the Enclave. Magpie didn't protest this time but he did press up against Shin's neck nervously.

Wolf was standing at the Enclave, the pendulum swaying back and forth in its slow methodical way. She looked over her shoulder as he walked towards her, her helmet hiding whatever her face looked like then. Ghost zipped over to her, "Did you touch it?" he asked. Wolf shook her head.

Shin came up next to her, covering his mouth and yawn with a hand. "What has Ghost all riled up, huh?" he asked.

"This came out of the Enclave," Ghost said and floated down to a gun nestled in its own pattern in front of Wolf.

"Just... on its own?" Shin asked. He was pretty sure the Enclave couldn't do that? But also he didn't know enough about the Light or the Dark to make that sort of judgment call.

"Yes," Ghost said.

Shin leaned over and looked at it. It was a SMG and looked like it was made of filigreed pieces of Hive chitin with a barrel ringed in burnished golden spines. He'd seen this gun before. Even just sitting there he could hear it. It whispered like the Thorn, which Shin had learned to just block out, but spoke in a different rhythm. He couldn't quite hear what it said but he knew what it was saying. It was the same words Thorn always whispered if he bothered to pay attention to it. But Thorn was old, tamed, broken. This was a wild eager thing.

Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry.

"You hear that?" Shin asked them.

"I hear something," Wolf admitted.

She reached out to take it. He grabbed her wrist. "Don't touch it," he said.

She shot him a look. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"It's a Weapon of Sorrow," he said.

"I've used those-

"Not like this you haven't," he said seriously.

"If an idiot like Toland or Drifter could make one they can't be that bad," she huffed. He didn't let go of her wrist.

"Those aren't like this," Shin said seriously. "The only thing like the Striga is the Thorn."

"You recognize it?" Ghost asked.

"Yeah. Long time ago I let some Vanguard researchers study Thorn. It corrupted them. I took it back. I couldn't trust them," he frowned. He'd been reluctant to do that honestly but it'd been a good mask. Kept people from thinking he had anything to do with the Shadows. "One of them, Jana-14, became obsessed. She... acquired the Osteo Striga and then vanished into the wind."

"How?" Ghost asked nervously.

"No idea. Vanguard's had a bounty on her head since then. I hunted her for a little while, on and off. She's crazy. She listens to the Striga," Shin said. "Trail went cold few years ago. Maybe she died during the Red War."

"What's it do?" Wolf asked.

"The Striga? Same thing the Thorn does; consumes, corrupts, destroys," he said seriously. Wolf's hand flexed, testing his grip. "You're not taking it." He saw what she was doing.

"It was offered to me," she said.

"No," he said firmly. "It's a Hungry thing. You don't need it." He let go of her wrist and in the same motion picked up the gun. A chill went down his spine. Yeah. He felt that. His Hunger reached out and before he could even think it the Darkness settled into the gun the same way it had settled in Thorn when he'd used it in Rhulk's Pyramid.

"Shin," she was surprised, shocked even.

"Huh," he said, looking it over.

"Didn't you just say it corrupts?" Ghost demanded.

"Can't corrupt what's already corrupted," Shin said, pushing the loader open and pulling out the charge canister. Because of course it didn't shoot actual bullets. Neither did Thorn. At least the Thorn fired something physical. This thing fired... Hunger. That was all he could describe it as as he held the ammo casing in his hand. The whispers were incessant. Hungry, hungry, hungry.

"You're not corrupted," Wolf sighed at him. He formed a mote of Light in his hand and shoved it into the gun. The whispers quieted, the Striga's hunger sated for the moment.

"Still better me than you, darlin'," Shin said casually. "Was this where you've been all night?" He put the gun down at his side. Magpie came over and scanned it and also Shin a few times.

"Uh-

"Yes," Ghost said.

"I was adjusting my guns in the Enclave and it popped out," she said.

"All night?" Shin clarified.

"I have a lot of guns, okay?" she said and folded her arms.

He sighed. "Okay," he allowed. Maybe this was what had woken him up. He'd felt but not understood a Weapon of Sorrow's appearance in the world. "I'm tired. I could sleep some more." She hesitated. "You should sleep. Ikora and the Hidden aren't even around right now."

She huffed, "I know," and sagged dramatically.

Shin chuckled. "Trust me, if the world's about to end you'll be the first to know," he reminded her.

"I guess," she allowed. Then she perked up when Shin leaned over to tap his forehead against her helmet face.

"Even if you don't want to sleep at least come back up to the ship so you can give me a goodnight kiss?" he asked. She flailed at him in annoyance and he chuckled. "Use your words, darlin'."

'Fuck you,' she signed in low hand and that made him laugh louder.

Magpie transmatted the gun and the ammo canister out of his hands. "I mean, if you want," he smirked. He laughed to himself and followed after her as she stormed out, flustered. Well that was one way to keep an evil gun away from his girlfriend.

#365 #writeblr #writblr #fanfiction #destiny #destiny 2 #destiny the game #the young wolf #shin malphur #young wolf #ShinWolf #osteo striga

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four-loose-screws · 1 year

Text

FE7 Novelization Translation - Chapter 6 Section 5

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

If you are interested in donating to support my work, please check out my Ko-fi here. Thank you!

———————————

Chapter 6: Birds of a Feather (Section 5)

"Lord Eliwood! New enemy on your right!"

"Thanks, Bartre!"

"Anytime! I got your back!!"

Upon hearing Lowen’s report, Eliwood had swiftly given out orders.

After having received his orders, Bartre immediately turned towards an enemy and rushed over to them.

But no matter how many they defeated as they continued on, the ruffians kept coming one after the other, and attacking Eliwood’s group all out. At their current rate, they would become unable to support each other any longer. In that scenario, it was possible that some of them might lose their lives.

"Just who are they? Why are they after us?" Eliwood asked.

"Lord Eliwood, prioritize defeating the enemies in front of you right now. We can think about their identities after the fight!" Marcus shouted as he swung his lance.

Eliwood nodded at his words and raised his rapier once more.

They were currently on the border between Pherae and Santaruz.

Eliwood, having defeated the bandits and heard of the threatening actions being taken in Laus from the village magistrate, first decided to go to Laus. To get from Pherae to Laus, they had to pass through Santaruz, sandwiched between them.

Past Santaruz is Laus, and past Laus is Ostia. Elbert was said he was going to Ostia, then disappeared. He would have had to go through both Santaruz and Laus on his way to Ostia.

Meaning that there may be some clues in Santaruz as well.

Fortunately, Helman, Marquess of Santaruz, was friends with Elbert, and Eliwood also knew him very well. If they met with him directly and asked for his assistance, he would undoubtedly help them.

And with that thought, Eliwood explained to the guard at the border checkpoint that they were seeking to pass through Santaruz and meet with Helman.

However, after waiting for some time, they were surrounded by this large group of ruffians.

"There are people who find it troublesome that this boy is alive. It is a pity, but we will kill him!" One of them said, then they attacked without waiting for any response.

Eliwood went with Marcus and Lowen right behind him, followed by the two mercenary fighters Dorcus and Bartre. Rebecca came in as their rear guard, who they'd allowed to travel with them after she asked if she could help.

They were all skilled, brave fighters. Though they would never fall to the likes of such scoundrels, the enemy's numbers were so great that, combined with their mounting exhaustion from their travels, they were gradually being closed in on.

"More enemies are coming in from the forest to the left!"

"Lowen and I will be the vanguard, Marcus the left flank, and Bartre and Dorcas the right flank. Rebecca will support us by shooting arrows from the rear! The enemy's numbers are not infinite. Hold out, everyone! Do not give up!" Eliwood gave his orders in a loud voice to boost his allies' morale.

They all pulled together their remaining strength together as best they could, but they really could not hide their exhaustion, and their movements were becoming visibly dulled.

They were all covered in sweat, and their overworked muscles ached.

Still, Eliwood did not rest, stabbing his rapier into the next enemy that came at him.

But the moment he tried to pull his rapier out of their body, the sweat covering the palm of his dominant hand caused his weapon to slip out of his grip.

The enemy, still impaled with the rapier, fell backwards onto the ground.

"No! Dammit!" Eliwood tried to hurry and pick it up, but no enemy was so kind as to overlook such an opportunity to strike.

"You think we'd just let you get that?!" One of the ruffians swiftly stepped between Eliwood and the body his rapier was stuck in, then swung his steel sword. "Die!"

"Lord Eliwood, look out!" Lowen, fighting alongside him, had his own enemy in front him, and could not run over to Eliwood.

Eliwood succeeded in avoiding the first attack by a hair. It was not like him to lose his weapon, body on the verge of collapse, giving a ruffian the upper hand.

As he narrowly dodged the first attack, he silently surveyed his surroundings. It led him to notice that the sword of the now dead ruffian to his right had fallen next to him on the ground.

'Yes! There's my chance!'

In a split second decision, he jumped to the right to dodge the second attack, then immediately picked up the sword, now at his feet.

"Dammit! You just don't know when to give up, do you, noble brat?!" The ruffian cursed and made a broad swing of his sword.

Eliwood immediately shifted into a battle stance with his new sword and tried to counter attack.

But a split second later, the ruffian suddenly stopped mid swing. "Guh…!" Fresh blood spurted out of his mouth, and he collapsed.

Eliwood was bewildered, having no idea what happened.

However, when he saw the person that appeared from behind the fallen ruffian, all of his questions were answered.

"Hey, Eliwood! Was that one yours?"

"Yes, but I'm still grateful, Hector!" A bright smile entirely unfit for a battlefield stretched across his face.

☆

"Whew, it's finally over."

After defeating all of the ruffians that attacked his friend, Hector was able to catch his breath at long last.

Having successfully snuck out of Castle Ostia along with Matthew, he ordered Matthew to gather information, tracked down Eliwood’s movements, and traveled through the night to reach him.

“Hey, Eliwood! It’s been a while!”

“Why are you here?”

Hector answered Eliwood’s question with a serious look on his face. “...You’re so cold, Eliwood! You’re searching for your father, aren’t you? Then you should have told me!”

“But this is a critical period for Ostia as you reestablish the government with Lord Uther as the new marquess, isn’t it? As his younger brother, you should be supporting him. He needs you.”

“Brother is no weak man! He said I need to be thinking of the future, or whatever… But he knows every move I make, so he must have let me slip away." Hector said, then went back to smiling.

“I see… Then I will take advantage of Lord Uther’s kindness. Thank you, Hector. It is very reassuring to have you here.”

“You can count on me for anything!”

Eliwood swiftly extended a hand, and Hector shook it with one of his own giant hands.

Eliwood knew not what troubles awaited them, but if he had his closest friend with him, then he would be able to overcome any danger. Though he had no proof to support that reasoning, he was sure of it.

As the two were rekindling their old bonds of friendship, a knight walked up to them. “It’s good to see you again after so long, Lord Eliwood.”

“You’re here as well, Oswin?”

“Yes. Lord Uther was worried about Hector being on his own, and ordered me to watch over him.”

As soon as Hector and Matthew had made it out of the castle, Oswin and one other person had chased after him. They had caught up to Hector immediately after he entered Santaruz territory, and fought the ruffians alongside them to assist Eliwood as well.

"Ha ha ha, no surprise there! We're fortunate to have you join us."

Oswin gave his own greeting with a smile. Then, they heard the shrill voice of a young woman who did not fit at all in this scene.

"Grrr! Lord Hector, if the battle is over, then come get us!!”

"Sorry, to do this in the middle of your conversation. I couldn't stop her any longer!" A man said.

Everyone looked in the direction of the voice and saw a young woman dressed in the pure white garb of St. Elimine’s Church. When Oswin chased after Hector, he’d brought her with him at Uther’s orders. And next to her was a casually dressed man who hung his head in Hector and Eliwood’s direction with an apologetic look on his face.

"Who are they, Hector?"

"Ah… I'll say for now that they came with me. I would have preferred better companions, but…”

"You're so terrible! What are you saying?! Did you hear him, Matthew? How could he say such a thing to you?"

"Hey, c'mon, you're the only person being like this…"

They conversed with each other as if they were a true comedic duo on stage, with Serra as the funny character and Matthew the straight character.

It made Eliwood curious about just who they were. “Would you mind introducing them to me?”

"The loud one is Serra. She may not look it, but she is a cleric." Hector explained.

"Hiiiii, I'm Serra! It's nice to meet youuuu!" Upon Hector's introduction, Serra greeted them cheerfully.

Indeed, if asked what a cleric is typically like, one would give the image of a gentle or modest person. However, this woman hid such strength within her that she shattered that image.

That was the impression that Eliwood got.

"And he's Matthew. He does work from within the shadows."

"Nice to meet ya!"

"He works within… the shadows?"

There was no such position like "spy" in Pherae.

As such, Eliwood had never heard the term before, and questioned about it.

"I do everything from gathering information to opening the locks on doors and chests." Matthew explained.

"...That's what a thief does. Isn't it…?"

"Eh, don't sweat that small stuff."

"But…!"

Eliwood raised his voice in very earnest protest, but Hector waved a hand in the air and said, "This journey… is going to be much more difficult than we anticipated. I'm sure of it. If we just say the nice things, then we won't make it home alive."

Eliwood gasped. "Hector? Do you know something?" He reacted strongly to the deeper meaning in Hector's words.

"...I don't know much about what's gonna happen, but I've been hearing nothing but weird rumors lately. That Bern's assassins are making suspicious movements within Lycia, that skilled mercenaries are going missing… stuff like that."

"...Now that you say that, the men who attacked us earlier said something of interest as well."

"What was it?"

"Their group… I thought they were brigands of some kind, but the man I believe to have been their leader said there are people who find it inconvenient that I still live…"

"Hm… This stinks of something strong. And now that I think about it, the person on guard here acted strangely, too. You, a noble, was attacked right before his eyes, yet he knowingly tried to see you killed."

Those words made Eliwood close his eyes and put him in deep thought.

Marquess Helman of Santaruz was good friends with his father Elbert, and as neighboring territories, both Pherae and Santaruz had been close allies since long ago.

It was unthinkable for a soldier of Santaruz to overlook a child of Marquess Pherae being attacked.

'Could… Lord Helman possibly have something to do with Father's disappearance?'

He had memories of Helman spoiling him since he was a child. Though Helman was a bit timid, he was a good-natured Marquess, and Eliwood did not want to be suspicious of him.

To dispel his mounting doubts, Eliwood decided within his heart that he had no other choice than to meet with Helman.

#fire emblem #fe #fe7 #fire emblem 7 #the blazing sword #lyn #lyndis #eliwood #hector #japan #japanese #translation #novel #light novel #novelization #gba #game boy advance #fe7 novelization translation

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slicexofxtheirxlives · 10 months

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Did you see that in the sky? It seems that (BROOKLYN) of HOUSE (VANGUARD), the DRAGON RIDER of (RHORM) has flown in. Their dragon, (TOKI), is protective over the (TWENTY-FIVE) year old rider that looks a great deal like (CODY CHRISTIAN). Those that have had the honor of getting close to both dragon and rider have noted that they are (LOYAL AND CONFIDENT) but also ( ODD & PROTECTIVE). (ACE, 29, CST, HE/HIM, NONE).

Being a dragon rider had always been something that appealed t Brooklyn's father. He had heard stories, myths, and legends about their glorious skills and battles. So even at a young age, Brooklyn's father had been devistated when fate had other plans for him. But while he couldn't be a dragon rider himself, he always had hope that one of his kids would be. And Brooklyn was convinced that the man was determined to keep having kids until he got what he wanted. A kid who would be selected by a dragon. Brooklyn would listen to his father's stories, but he didn't really care about it. The few dragon riders he had come across had always scared him, and he didn't wish to do anything that would turn him into them.

However…Fate was a bitch. The mischievious and playful boy that didn't want to be a dragon rider? While his father had desperately wanted to be one? It would be ironic if not for the fact that Brooklyn had to now be forced off to training. Training, as he found, wasn't as bad as he imagined it to be. Sure, it was rough physically. But he still enjoyed his time. And when his dragon hatched about a year later? He couldn't help but to watch eagerly. Even though this wasn't exactly the life he would have chosen for himself…He still couldn't help but to watch eagerly as Tokki was born. His partner in crime. And hey…He was blessed by Etia, so that was also a good thing right?

To say that he wasn't exactly the favorite among the mentors was...A understatement. He was playful and loved to play pranks and make people laugh and have fun. All things that they saw as a distraction. So when he did the ritual after reaching maturity? They were eager to see it toned down. And it was...A very slight degree. Much to many people's surprise? Brooklyn was still happy and fun, just not as much as he had been previously. Something that Broklyn took great pride in. And as the years passed? Brooklyn began to take his job more and more seriously. Besides, Tokki was the best partner he could have ever asked for. Brooklyn may not be the best hand to hand combatant, but he's wicked with a weapon. His bladed fans, kunai, or even a bow and arrow. A sword as well, although to a lesser degree.

Many people still see him as odd. He didn't seem to fit in with humans or dragon riders. Especially considering his fondness for less traditional and more feminine garbs. But hey...He's going to wear what he wants. Plus, it allows for more movement. So in his eyes? No harm, no foul.

#the prettiest of dragon riders;; brooklyn #alahqintro

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years

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There’s this podcast called The Comedian’s Comedian, which I keep hearing is really interesting for comedy nerdery, but I wasn’t sure if I’d seen enough stand-up to get into it. I know it focuses on the on-the-ground bits of comedy, the bits that are harder to discover with just an internet connection in my bedroom in Canada. But I’ve been watching more stand-up lately, wherever I can find it, and have decided this is the time to get into that podcast and hear people talk about that.

That’s why I chose to download a bunch of episodes of that podcasts at this time generally, but the reason I chose the specific day was related to the fact that I still really want to know how the Chocolate Milk Gang got their name, and it occurred to me that someone might mention it on there. That’s like 5% of the reason why I’m doing it. Plenty of the episodes I’ve downloaded have been with comedians who have no connection to the CMG and I know that won’t come up, and even from the CMG-connected comedians, I’m mostly just interested in hearing them talk about comedy. I mean, okay, when picking what episodes to download I was a little biased toward interviews with people who might know and tell that story. But only a little, and generally the comedians with connections to the CMG are people I want to hear from on any subject so I’d have downloaded their episodes anyway.

This morning I listened to an hour of Ed Byrne explaining how he constructs a stand-up show and where he gets ideas for subjects of jokes, and it was cool stuff to learn about, and I did not expect or get any mention of the international mystery that I am trying to unravel via archive footage like a TV detective.

The next episode I’ve downloaded is with David O’Doherty, and it occurred to me that this one does have a chance of giving me an answer to the mystery, but I know it’s a slim chance. I also just spent a couple of days listening to his four albums and really, really enjoying them, so I was mainly interested in hearing about that. I’m fifteen minutes in and he’s been talking about the stories behind some of his jokes, the “what really happened” that gets turned into a bit, the change in perspective required to translate something onto stage, and it’s genuinely fascinating. I’d forgotten about being interested in learning anything else from him.

And then we got this exchange:

Stuart Goldsmith: When you first came to Edinburgh, you were in a kind of vanguard of acts that included people like Andy Zaltzman and Josie Long…

Me: Oh shit, that! Are we going to do that? Please talk about that! Give me sixty seconds where you explain that, that’s all it needs, and then I’m happy to go back to ruminations on DO’D’s own comedy!

Stuart Goldsmith: ...and you kind of became labeled as…

Me: Stuart Goldsmith, guy who hosts a podcast that I only just heard for the first time today so I barely know who you are but you seem like a good interviewer, I will name my first cat after you if you get this man to tell me about that specific label.

Stuart Goldsmith: ...whimsical.

Me: Damn it.

I mean, what’s followed so far is an interesting discussion on the nature of whimsy in comedy, and that’s nice and all. But we were so close.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months

Text

some threads woven together flawlessly. or fumbled with intently until it's like Look [holds out a cat's cradle] but no. it's good & real

smthing "i can't believe it's this Telling!" about Romance(tm) being multiple times hearing this sentiment like. "okay talking about relationships right. dating has always come easily to me / i've been lucky / i'm Good At romance: i was not single for more than 5 consecutive days from the autumn of '34 to Now. but it wasn't until my late twenties 90 yrs & dozens of Romantic partners into it that, for the first time ever: one of those relationships was actually like, good." and it's like damn i can't believe it's that Telling. that the remarks have this would be twist / punchline (not actually delivered as such. it's not unexpected to them?) that still gets framed thusly as being Successful in dating. spending eons with a bunch of people involved in bad relationships, but you weren't Not dating

also reminded in terms of [i don't really have any podcasts i'm listening to] like one i was like "hm i've heard some episodes. i'll put this one on in the background" then dropkicking it out the window like 10 min in b/c irrelevantly this Guest was like "real talk. ugh it's sooo cool to be poly nowadays 9_9 everyone has to be poly but i'm Naught into it!!! i guess i Feel too much. i want PASSION and DRAMA!!! this is just like how pop in the late '00s / '10s was all 'feminist' telling you to be independent sluts well i care about true LOVE" and like. i don't remember but i don't think they were a man, i'm quite surer they were queer, it was just so fucking lmfao like would you get thee fuck out of here. we actually don't live in "it's like it's illegal to be monogamous :(" world you're not Edgy now b/c you're insecure about what you see as "trendy" but don't Get / don't want in on. you're not going against the grain for being like "maybe i Do want to settle down with my soulmate" like great news that's normative. pick another queer group to Project on b/c they'd rupture your idea of the Bounds of queerness where you're like "ugh they're so mainstream & ruining it for us True queers disrupting the cishet agenda (arguing for queerness to be on The Terms Of said cishet agenda)" e.g. ohh the cishet agenda is pro asexuality!!! (it is not. even if it was? is the Queer Agenda for some people to have to deny their own sexuality & "have" to have sex a certain kind of way with certain people? up next "bi women: gender traitors, why not Choose to (have to) have only certain kinds of sex w/certain people :)" trans people gender traitors We decide what everyone's gender is, bit fucked up of you to be deciding your own huh, what Assumptions are you making you sicko?? you Have to identify / present xyz certain ways or you're failing to be the gender vanguard like we are) like what if the queer agenda was about everything we Can do. we Can have this sex w/these people sure, & we Can: Not do that w/them. like oh no what if cishet men were able to get their hands on the gay resources only when we recognize Aro/Ace identities can ppl Say "yeah i'm....hehe....Not cishet"? legitimate question Yeah What Then. oh no. god's wounds What If you can just say you're trans now & change your pronouns every day. like yeah let's let everyone do that. what if we all did. oh no lol. oh my god more people are talking about polyamory like they're allowed to talk about polyamory & if my monogamy isn't Assumed ""normal"" & i might feel like it's thus more in question?? well don't mind me as i get defensive by way of Derisive & start scoffing & spitting at the queers making the rest of us look bad but we're Really fighting the fight out here (doing what we were already doing but now feeling extra smug & self satisfied about it?)

like "ohh i have too much Emotion for that" like who said you didn't. why do you think polyamory involves less emotion or passion or desire or commitment or whatever. it sure doesn't posit it necessarily requires More either. it posits that it is not monogamy. & like christ Congratulations then. congratulations on having too much of a heart. that is then used to sneer & backbite like i forgot that this person on this damn podcast also brought this up b/c a friend or acquaintance who was poly made whatever kind of proposition & here they are on some podcast going Ugh & talking about how they have too much passion, despite years of top40 telling them, according to them, that feminism is sluttiness now (again this is. according to them. Groundbreaking circling back to bog standard misogyny) & isn't it so groundbreaking in turn if a woman were to sing love songs? imagine. you can have emotions & passion & drama taking the parking spot a stranger wanted. You could've brought the monogamy with a poly partner, when the Agenda for it is always distilled to Exclusivity, like, bring your own, huh? like your own Feelings & Passions & Commitment. but obviously it is the assumption that the poly partner is the Inadequate one there who would be causing any relationship to be Lacking. b/c they sure didn't frame it as some matter of fact Mismatch or else try to start being outright about how poly people are, like the bisexuals, these sluts (feminists!!) who are only giving you Part of themselves when you deserve All Access to your exclusive, locked in partner!!! & like good lord do you ever? with your Reliable kinsey endzones binary gender soulmate for life, do you?? locking them in what, why. excluding what, why. accessing all of what, why.

Romance(tm) being defined by Exclusivity defined by entitlement to as much of this other person as you want, to ensure that exclusivity: compare w/the boundless potential Threats or already Violations to thee proper romantic relationship. spending too much time with other people, sharing too much with them, getting too much support, feeling too much towards them, valuing them too much, to say nothing of what could be considered "intimacy," which then yeah sure includes "well no kissing or sex" but yknow again that does need to be a bound you even accept, monogamy style, & even if you do, that All Thee Rest of it can be attributed to "well you shouldn't be talking to them / having these friends / doing these other things b/c that's a slippery slope to Romance (kissing, sex)." that the exclusivity is so often inevitably defined by, when pushed to it, Exclusion, e.g. like if everyone i loved was held at gunpoint & it's like only One of them could be Not Shot baby it'd be you like tf is this scenario?? gee it'd suck if everyone else died but baby as long as it's not you like The Hell. that it's about Everyone Else being shut out & Less & Lacking & deprioritized thusly in specificass hypothetical winner take all tournaments of disposing of loved ones like what in the christ. & this being an Isolating logic like well that soulmate should be Enough. & the instruction like, yeah any & all feelings passions desires wishes wants needs hopes dreams? file that away under "to be fulfilled by the One True Romance." it'll fulfill Everything in your life!! if it doesn't umm cough must've been doing it wrong. turn your discontent into Passion. philosophically muse on how Fulfillment may have eluded you but maybe just maybe we all still come closest in struggling through a marriage for a few dozens of years & also perhaps parenthood! surely. and don't even think of considering if this cosmos of the nuclear household is not in fact the distilled essence of all that one's life can possibly contain

of course two people can have a long term intimate relationship w/each other exclusively & it not all necessarily play into some nuclear family cisheteropatriarchy agenda moment lmao, but this is just the same as like. yeah people Can exist in ways that some rando today could look at & deem "are they not cishet" but where this is also not of the cishet agenda(tm). b/c ppl Have to be cishet(tm). & Have to be finding their monogamous cishet lifelong spouse. & sure Have to Not do otherwise, so why Wouldn't there be the narrative that all passions & emotions & desires & wants & needs & chance of fulfillment is a matter of the domain of Romance(tm)? the idea like oh you enjoy talking with someone? Love. you're excited / interested / affectionate? Love. you're dtf? either Love or else held to be the other side of the same coin: marked Lack of love(tm). wild that Stimming in enthusiasm is used in this Romance framework lmao as like a recognized Normal nd moment. love the enthusiasm. you could be stimming even more, about more. you could be enthused even more, about more. you Could. you don't Have to, But You Could. you don't Have to be involved in a way you consider some degree of intimate enough to have a particular classification on that basis, but you Could. you don't want to? alright awesome how many versions of a person there can be on this earth. why would one want to define it as "having" to be monogamous though b/c you're Too Legit to be poly. Too Legit queer to respect asexuality. Too Legit trans to respect someone's gender expression/identity being a casual, dynamic, easy experience.

also always noticing like "oh right, another day's work giving Others' feelings legitimacy & priority, & not my own" back in college times when like a couple of times having to outright or gradually* deflect acquaintances whom i'd interacted with trying to go for the dating route. & then nominally having to presume that they are the uniquely burdened one here like oh way to go (did not do fuckall), what is more Legitimate than disappointment re: Romance right. except it's like now hang on i'm also the one going "i thought someone was interacting with me trying to be friendly :/" like lol, no. & as though then taking on this impossible unilateral responsibility to demur from seeming [i want to hang out & interact] interest now on the terms of both neurotypicality (also normative) & amatonormativity. & being like "??" like what would someone even have particularly strong feelings about when i prommy i did not yet feel comfortable bringing even like most of the range of my personality, or comfortable in general w/what i Did bring, what's the basis of this lol. making up a guy. & like we are all performing we are all perceiving & interpreting without a direct channel into someone else's interiority. but like where's Any genuine intimacy leading into this lol? like still a No even if so but at least it'd be less perplexing. & if there isn't even expected to be any then also still No. tf was this one guy trying to start shit over buying textbooks & by start shit i mean keep trying to talk to me when crossing paths on (community college!) campus until i'm like no i don't wanna go to a movie b/c i don't really know you from adam, & he's like "well isn't that the point of dating, to get to know each other" like No this isn't cishet amatonormative marriage speedrun "i'm so good at dating i wasn't single for 93 years! each relationship was shit btw!" central get out of here. luckily he did. rando guys in public & semi public barely count yet also fully count

another thing that's different but the same is it's kind of jarring like another thing you Can do but it rankles within me like i hope to just like. someone being like framed as Superlative Exceptional....like great lmao such a broad thing & common thing & i am fully aware like "Uh Oh Eesh when i am imagining it applied to Me. i do not like it" like how we are [it takes all kinds]ing and [no accounting for taste]ing & all these things we sure Can do. but i do tie it to just like. arguing for people's worth as A Thing on this bitch of an earth where some people get to see others' lives as less than theirs & the supposed cure for this appealing on Merit. where even the Personal, Individual protection against this is "well, just find the one person who is like 'you're Everything & btw i'd drop dead without you like what would be the point of Anything'" like now what tf is reassuring about that lmao....this Other audio experience i forgot where i was already just not that interested but it grated hearing someone assure us that like oh this person's webpage is so Intriguing i Have to talk to this person. another thing much more formal & established being this ode to someone being like So undeniably extraordinary & incredible & superlative etc, like, lovely ode to someone, but i do reflect like eesh i just really do not want that. no ironic "xyz would've hated this!!" like just do not. i'm so Not about merit(tm). i'm so not about anyone Needing to be considered superlative or extraordinary by even One other person. so not about rising Above anyone else as the evidence of worth. so not about praising anyone by assuring people they're Not "Just" [another xyz. a victim. passive. content to abc.]....so not about being stuck in isolation with the immediate Family as one's only support (against The Family: as like. a political deal) until the only other way to exist is to escape, &/or be pushed into, the marriage, aka thee romance (against Romance: also a political deal)

where in romance(tm) is there Not this narrative about how you'd better find all the support & fulfillment you need in your whole self & life & being in This. where is there not "ideally" isolation. where is there not exclusivity as the definition. with this also ofc assuming the "correct" monogamous approach. & the cisheteropatriarchy. like yeah sure people Can do xyz that would resemble like ah the cishet lifelong monogamous partnership, & Not be of that agenda. like there Can be ppl who would be perceived cishet by someone to whom "cishet" has any meaning but like, without that agenda. we had & can have all our phenotypes without the concepts of white supremacy / antiblackness around which to categorize "race," we have all our bodies w/o there necessarily, inevitably being ableism. & in the meantime against the [we Have to xyz] & the Normative & the assertion of "merited" deservingness & the isolating & authoritarian & controlling & extractive & prescriptive & limiting, & plenty of other things....polyamory like supposed "opposite" of aromanticism but it's peak harmonious when like, it is also very much outside how romance is "supposed" to be, to the extent of like ohh it doesn't count b/c it is so uncontained by any Definitions. ohh i could never be polyamorous b/c they're Diluting themselves (there's the Isolating & Exclusivity definitions....the Most romantic relationship? baby idgaf if everyone else in my life died. you wouldn't either re: all your loved ones, right. why are you talking to them again. or hanging out with them again. or saying Love to them again or changing your plans for them or listening to them or etc etc. & of course you couldn't kiss anyone else, why Wouldn't this relationship crumble away if that weren't the case??? lol) like okay you're not polyamorous, that others Are is good for you. ppl being trans is good for cis people; no genders as constraining classes. ppl being ace is good for allo people; no compulsory sexuality. people being bi is good for everyone; same. etc etc etc. that They can exist as themselves unhindered = you can; that they can't, you can't. you're not Too Good to be them; acting/doing Better than someone else is acting/doing is like, about choices lol. versus [oh it's not even a choice i Couldn't be poly....b/c i'm too good for that] like. now what does this do for anyone exactly. but make you feel more secure through feeling superior b/c you're hearing more often more casually more proximately about different choices people are making for themselves

anyways surfacing from [my god. writing a post now] & i would like to emphasize "aromantic sure but & also anti-romance i mean it. like politically" & "lovelessness let's gooo. politically as well like can we Not with the affective-centric"

#long post qpqp like middlingly but i'm not reading all that; i only wrote it #remembering i could've touched on [o7 tales of like ppl who Would want to date but know they can't count on it b/c of societal/cultural/#structural obstacles / isolating factors] relevant...why exactly should it be miserable meaningless kys territory to be single for anyone #again truly amazed like no Lol XD from ppl going ''my very successful love life. i was in bad relationships nonstop for 19 yrs'' WHA? HUH?#also it's a Zzz for ppl who Supposedly are like ''ohh if you're not happy single you'll never be happy in a relationship''#like...vaguely in theory but this is just invoked to place individual blame & still say You Gotta Get That Relationship Though Still #dipping sliiightly outside amatonormativity to still bolster it ''if you're not finding Success(tm) in Love: idk it's your fault ig?''#like saying ''ooo ppl don't love/respect you if you don't love/respect yourself'' (a) why not? (b) yeah ofc ppl Should be able to be happy #w/o a partner they Should be able to appreciate themselves w/o anyone else's judgment & approval. but they shouldn't (i) have to assume #they'll be otherwise unsupported in this? do it All Yourself (ii) shouldn't be blamed(tm) for the lack of support they already have #& then that these sentiments Are then like ''haha but find that partner though. don't be Too happy single lol'' & ''hey don't be That self #confident no wait stop Get Approval'' like ohh Now people will like you :) you're still supposed to theoretically care about Needing that #you just need to also be blaming yourself if it doesn't happen! b/c Good People are guaranteed being personally liked & loved to the max #& the max might be 1 person of a particular gender agrees to fuck around w/only you. maybe some cazsh friends from work/school exist. whew

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demon-blood-youths · 2 years

Text

God and Devils || Closed RP

A starter for @unbrxakxble after here

Rust met up his friends after meeting Mori and his first God encounter, Sun Wukong. When he came, his friends became worried and asked what took him so long to which Rust cannot contain himself and spills out his amazing encounter making his friends bewildered and confused until they process what Rust said to them.

Two name drops. One of these names that three people in the fraction of the DBT have familiar knowledge of.

Sun Wukong. Aka The Monkey King. A God from a Chinese epic tales. A trickster God they said. In the legends such as the Journey to The West, he rebelled against heaven and was punished so the idea of war and destruction in heaven is not too far off. Plus, they know Rust wouldn’t lie something about that.

Once the team did their research and realized who Rust just met and what he just done. There were mixed reactions.

Handful of them became skeptical yet interested entertaining this idea, a few were upset that Rust would do something so reckless without their consideration and there is one on the team who became so amazed by Rust's story, she believes it right away. She wants to know more about this encounter. This God named Sun Wukong and of course, Mori.

"So he's really strong, Rust? Is he really?" Said a girl in a navy short jacket with light olive skin and black medium hair as her eyes lit up at the idea of fighting a God. Rust grins, "Yeah, stronger than you." Because of that answer, the girl, the leader of the fraction is now stoked as Ruat wanting to learn about Mori and Sun Wukong.

"And you sure, this Mori person knows this Sun Wukong? It sounds off." A masked youth wearing white and gray striped hoodie as he has a long gray scarf.

"Last time I checked, I never heard of Sun Wukong wanting fruits as an offering unless if he is really God then that makes sense." Said a girl wearing teal-colored visors as she wears a blue sweater as she had this emotionless expression on her face while playing her handheld game console.

"Are we seriously going through with this? We gonna let someone who is stronger than Ink on this island?!" Yelled a short teen with black spiky hair and green eyes while fixing his grenade launcher. He wants to know what the hell is Rust thinking right now.

"It seems interested." Said a girl wearing a purple long sleeve vest as she has armor plates on her shoulders. "I said let's see what this Wukong is capable of..."

From the God of Highschool. A young shaven boy thought about it as he heard that name before and it’s not the god. Especially that tournament. Wh

"....." A big redhead looks worried as she crosses her arms. “I still don’t like this.”

Regardless, they can’t just foriet the match at this point. Nobody wants to admit but the idea of fighting a god and watching this fight is tempting in these teen’s minds. So they have to see and what happens.

----

A week later, Saturday 3:50pm.

And so a week has passed as the teens have trained, prep an area for their fight with the god and are now waiting for the arrival of Sun Wukong on their home island of Wyckoff.

In the field clear of junkyard, there is only grain and sand. Standing right next to Rust is no other Vanity 'Ink' Vanguard, the leader of the DBT, watching the skies as the time is almost about to hit 4pm. Their friends are also waiting on the stands, anxiously waiting.

“Do you think he’s going to come, Rust?” Ink asked as she shifts her weight, feeling excited. Rust chuckles,

“Sure is. He’s gonna come. I know it.” Rust grinned.

#rp #ic #unbrxakxble #here are our seven combantants including Rust making a total of eight!#out of twelve!#from the top...#to bottom #vaninkthedragon #phantomslasher #ragingvoltage #timetickingtimebomb #warhorse/arensal #geraldthegrendal #firestarter #machinedestroyer #also u don't have to match the lenght of this reply!

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irrlicht-writes · 3 years

Text

of Rex Lapis and a young boy

“Do you love her?” “What do you want me to say?”

Say yes. Say yes so I can tell myself to stop. If you love her still, then there is no way that there’s place for me in you. Say yes so I can stop thinking, stop pretending. Say yes so I know that you don’t care for me. Say yes so that I know, once and for all, that mortals and gods are not supposed to be next to each other. Say yes so I can try to forget that you are my friend. Say yes so I can forget that you are my only friend. Say yes so I can slap myself and laugh and make a joke about how stupid I am. Say yes so I know that anytime you looked at me, you didn’t look at me at all. Say yes so I know that I’ll never be curious or kind enough. Say yes, so that I know I never mattered at all. | Zhongli would never love him. Zhongli could only love things that were long past, and Childe walked ever toward the future.

Ao3

Azhdaha.

Zhongli-xiansheng and the Traveller had left the Harbour for a while to go look at some stones – or something, Childe didn’t ask – and now they’ve returned.

It had stung, just a little bit, when he realised Xiansheng had just dumped him for their meal but that was okay. That was perfectly, absolutely fine. He hadn’t sat there for hours upon end, waiting for him and then heading to the Funeral Parlour just to learn that Zhongli had left the Harbour entirely. That was cool. It wasn’t like they told each other everything, right?

It’s not like Zhongli knew everything Childe was up to in Liyue.

But now they were back, sitting at the Storyteller’s. Zhongli-xiansheng looked great, even. Like he hadn’t missed Childe at all. Yeah. That was cool. Perfectly cool.

He wasn’t even interested in rocks, so no wonder they didn’t ask him to come along. Yeah. Right.

Zhongli told him about Azhdaha in a quiet tone, and Childe knew he wasn’t getting the whole story. The Traveller sat beside them, silent as ever. It was cool. Childe got the picture. He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t as dumb as they thought him to be. Childe had heard that tone in Zhongli’s voice many times. For some reason, that tone had always struck him, but he had never been sure why.

He thought he knew, now.

It sounded like Zhongli was talking about something incredibly dear to him.

Not long after, Zhongli left, the Traveller close behind. They barely said good-bye and Childe smiled at them. He was acutely aware of the fact that they left without paying their tab. Yeah. That was fine, he’d just cover it.

“Storyteller,” he requested as he ordered himself the strongest drink this bar had, “can you tell me of Rex Lapis and the Mountain-Dragon?”

And so the Storyteller did.

The next day, Childe ventured into Nantianmen. He had seen the tree there before, but had thought little of it. Now, it was different. This is where Azhdaha had been sealed away, right beneath his feet. Zhongli’s friend.

Zhongli’s lover, even.

Back then, hearing about the Goddess of Dust had felt weird, like a mortal Zhongli pining for a Goddess dead way before his time. Now, after everything, it made more sense. When he talked about Azhdaha, Zhongli-xiansheng had the same look in his eyes. A soft, far-away look in his eyes that had always made Childe feel small and unimportant. Which was why, whenever he’d catch that look, he’d crack a joke, or point out a merchant stall.

He stepped closer to the tree and put his hand on the bark.

Did Zhongli come here, to be close to his old friend?

Zhongli never came to him, just to get him.

Always, it had been a matter Childe would have to settle with Mora somehow.

Had he ever been Zhongli’s friend, at all?

“What makes you so special?”

The tree, and the dragon hereby-under, don’t answer.

“Zhongli-xiansheng is rather busy, I apologise.”

To her credit, the Ferry lady did actually look sorry. It did little to stifle Childe’s mood, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He wondered, idly, why it’s always him that reached out to Zhongli. Why was he the one clinging to a God that lied to him?

Well, maybe he was stupid after all.

He smiled at the Ferry lady and left her. He didn’t tell her to inform Zhongli that he’d been here. Somehow, he doubted that Zhongli would care either way. He pretended it didn’t hurt something in his chest, and returned to Northland Bank.

At least Ekaterina and the others there were forced to care about him. Oh, the luxury of being a Harbinger.

Despite him talking about her all the time, Childe knew next to nothing about Guizhong. There also wasn’t that much to find in books. Despite what people might think, Childe actually was a vivid reader. Granted, it tended to be adventure stories, not dry history, but he could expand.

But she had been Morax’ best friend.

And while the dry history books didn’t say it outright, it was clear as day: they all suspected the two to have been lovers in some capacity. The all-powerful Morax, and the sweet, gentle-hearted Guizhong. The perfect pair, even. He was strong where she was weak, and she was wise where he was not.

Childe wasn’t a romantic where it counted, but even he could see the potential in writing stories about a couple like that.

And she died, leaving Rex Lapis behind.

Childe looked out the window.

To be fair, he wasn’t sure why he read about Guizhong in the first place. What was he hoping to achieve? All the books he consumed about Rex Lapis have had a clear goal in mind: stealing the God’s Gnosis.

Not that that had worked, but semantics. Maybe Childe just wasn’t meant to steal someone’s heart.

He went to Guili Plains the next chance he got. He wasn’t sure why, but this place had been named after Guizhong and Zhongli. For all its historic worth, it look desolate. Rationally, Childe knew that a war has taken place here, but still, he had expected more, somehow. He had expected Rex Lapis to try and restore this place that he and his lost lover shared.

He was also a bit disappointed that there were no Glaze Lilies here. The books hadn’t shut up about Guizhong and Glaze Lilies. So much in fact that Childe had had his doubts on whether or not she’d really been the Goddess of Dust or Glaze Lilies.

He wondered what kind of man Zhongli would be today if Guizhong had not died. What kind of man he’d be if he hadn’t needed to seal the dragon away.

If that had been the case, then he probably wouldn’t have cared about Childe at all.

The hole in his chest hurt and he didn’t like it.

With his past dead, Zhongli’s eyes would glance across Childe.

If they had been alive, he wouldn’t have looked at Childe at all.

Wanting to stop, he killed the abyss mages.

There were Glaze Lilies blooming in the Harbour. He’s heard that they were cultured there artificially, because they were dying out. Zhongli must hate that fact. But that also meant that Childe of all people would probably not be able to actually approach the stupid flowers.

It had been days since they’ve last met, and Zhongli hadn’t come to him.

Childe felt like a broken tool. He wondered how long it would take him to get used to that feeling.

He wanted to see the flowers, so he snuck out at night. He knew there were some blooming behind the house on the Terrace, so he hoped he wouldn’t be spotted by the Millelith. It’d be hard to explain himself to Lady Ningguang for this, so he’d rather not.

Childe climbed the wall easily and quietly and sure enough, there they were – two Glaze Lilies, blooming under the moonlight. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Did he want to pick them to present them to Zhongli? Probably not.

He reached out with one finger, gently touching one of the petals. Somehow, he was afraid they’d wilt under his touch and die. But nothing happened. Childe sighed and lied down beside the flowers. The sky was clear and bright. When he closed his eyes, he could hear a soft humming in his ears and it filled him with longing for... something. Not a fight, not a victory, not even a loss, just – something. Something he couldn’t have.

“How did you do it?” He asked the flowers.

How did you make Zhongli fall in love with you? How did you make him look at you proper? How did you make him see you? How do you put that tone in his voice and how do you put that look in his eyes?

Childe sighed.

The flowers didn’t respond.

He thought of Azhdaha, who had looked upon the world with curiosity and had learned to love it through Morax.

He thought of Guizhong, who had looked upon her people with endless kindness and had taught Rex Lapis to do the same.

He was neither curious nor kind.

No wonder that Zhongli didn’t care to look at him.

Why had the Tsaritsa sent him here? Why couldn’t he have been in on the plan? He could’ve caused a havoc even knowing where Morax was. Why couldn’t he have taken the Gnosis after a done deed? Why did it have to be Signora?

He was Her Majesty’s vanguard, was he not?

Didn’t she think him capable enough?

Why couldn’t Signora have wrecked the city?

Why him?

Was he really only good for front-line mayhem, and nothing else?

The God he had spent so much time with hadn’t even looked at him when he handed his heart away.

The God Childe had believed to be his friend.

He had no friends, now.

Childe put his report away and left the Bank.

It was late, and everything in him yearned for his home.

His home, where his parents would watch him with wary eyes.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come back, when he’d fallen.

When will he hurt Tonia? When will he take Anthon and Teucer, and turn them into monsters too? When will he reveal that our son has never come back at all? How long will this facade last?

He would smile at them, and pretend he didn’t know. He’d pretend that these months had never happened and that they still loved him unconditionally.

He reached the pier and sat down. He wanted to go fishing again.

The water gently dipped at the stone and Childe sighed. He wondered, did Morax laugh at him? Each time Childe had thought he’d been sleek, getting more information from Zhongli, had the God laughed at his ignorance?

But Zhongli had seemed so content, so willing to answer all of Childe’s questions.

It’s an important part of Liyuean’s cuisine, Childe. Please use the chopsticks.

Had Morax been making fun of him?

He’d never hear the end of it, back home in Snezhnaya. He could already hear Scaramouche’s snicker in his ear.

His mark had been right there next to him, ever-correcting the Harbinger’s grip on the chopsticks, and Childe had never known.

A one-way tool of war was probably the best thing he could ever be.

He could neither be curious or kind.

How would a guy like him ever gain the affection of the divine?

“You cannot sleep?”

Childe didn’t turn around.

What did it matter, anyway?

Zhongli sat down beside him with a small sound, reminding Childe how old this man truly was. He’d been a fool. How could Zhongli ever be his friend, with all their differences?

“Tell me a story.”

“What do you want to hear?”

Childe was silent for a moment.

Tell me how I can make you look at me. How can I be kind, or curious enough for you to gain your affection? Tell me how I can make myself significant to you. Tell me how I can be a friend that you’ll remember. Tell me, please. Tell me how to be important to you.

“I don’t know.”

Childe was staring at the water down below. Zhongli’s contract was fulfilled. There was nothing more they had to talk about. Why did Zhongli even acknowledge him? He should’ve just kept walking.

“You have gone to Guili Plains.”

“...yes.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to see,” Childe replied in a hushed voice.

Truth was, he didn’t know. Maybe he had expected the ghost of Guizhong to descend upon him and tell him everything he’d need to know. A stupid, childish thought. She hadn’t come, and his questions have been left unanswered. A god would never descend for him, anyway.

“What did you find?”

“Nothing,” Childe said. “Why didn’t you restore the Plains?”

“Why would I?”

“Because of Guizhong.”

“It’s the place I lost her in. It is difficult to go there, even after all these centuries.”

What did it feel like, making such an impact on an immortal being?

Every time he returned home, he ventured out into the woods again. Some part of him wanted to find the crack in the earth again, where he lost himself and found himself at the same time. Maybe he also hoped he’d find a little Ajax lost in the woods. He didn’t know.

“Do you love her?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Say yes, so that I know I never mattered at all.

“...say yes, then.”

Childe didn’t remember when he drew his legs in and hugged his knees. He felt smaller and younger than he had in years. Skirk would kill him for this position but she’d never know.

“You’re in pain,” Zhongli said instead and Childe almost wanted to laugh.

“No,” he responded, “I haven’t been in a fight in days.”

“Not all pain is physical, Childe.”

What did he care? Childe wished he’d stop. It was these sorts of talks that put Childe in this situation. If Zhongli would just stop pretending he cared, it’d be all so much easier.

“Kun Jun gave this to me,” Zhongli said and held out his hand, a pretty rock upon it.

For the first time, Childe turned his head. It was a pretty thing, he thought.

“Kun Jun?”

“One aspect of Azhdaha.”

Ah. Yes, the other lost lover. Childe tensed his jaw. Why was Zhongli showing this to him? Was he mocking Childe?

Look, all these pretty things you bought me, and still I value the rock my old lover gave to me more.

There it was again, the pang in his chest. Zhongli never carried around the things he made Childe buy. And now here he was, carrying around some rocks this Kun Jun picked up from the ground?

“It’s pretty,” Childe said then. He didn’t know what else to say and Zhongli clearly cherished this rock.

Mora couldn’t buy someone’s affection. It could buy him any favour he’d ever wanted, but he could never buy genuine feelings. Their friendship had been a farce from the start. Zhongli had used him, just like Her Majesty and Signora had used him.

“It was good, seeing him again,” Zhongli sat, gently holding the stone in his hand. “But it hurt, as well, knowing I’d have to seal him away once more.”

“I’m sorry,” Childe said and he wanted to take the rock and throw it in the ocean.

He bought Zhongli so many things, and he valued none of them. For all he knew, Zhongli had thrown them aside the second Childe had turned his back. He’d never be important enough to Zhongli, so why did he even try? Why did he ever bother? He had wanted to invite Zhongli to his home, to meet his family. He had wanted to show his parents that he was still good, still their son, and that he made a genuine friend.

He couldn’t do that now. At best, Zhongli was a former business associate. Not his friend. Never his friend.

Zhongli didn’t say anything and Childe suspected he was deep in memories. He wanted to stand up and leave but he couldn’t.

“Liyue Harbour exists today because of Guizhong,” he said then and Childe curled up in himself. Just rub it in. How would Childe ever compete?

A curious dragon with pretty eyes and pretty rocks, and a gentle soul of a Goddess with beautiful, humming flowers next to her, an entire city dedicated to her?

What was he against them?

A reckless, arrogant toy soldier. The only thing he was good at was fighting and even then, Morax would be able to beat him blind-folded.

“Without her, I would have never been able to appreciate humans. To me, they were barely a duty, a responsibility, not something worthy of love. But she walked among them, empathised with them and through her and for her, I was able to do the same.”

Childe was a human. But he wasn’t part of the humans Zhongli spoke about. He wished he could take that part out of himself; the part that made his chest hurt. He’d rather endure the pain of his transformation.

“When she died, I was devastated and I wrecked havoc on my enemies. They had killed the gentlest soul I would ever know and they did not deserve mercy for it. But I knew, I knew that that wasn’t what she’d want. She’d want me to protect our people, to become the leader she never got the chance to be. So I taught them to build houses, I taught them to make stoves. And these days, I believe she would be proud of what I achieved.”

He was saying yes, and it hurt. Everything Zhongli had done had been for her. But maybe – maybe that was a good thing. He could let go now, right? He knew know, he had audible confirmation that Zhongli would never look at him, would never care for him. He wasn’t good enough. Nobody would ever build a city for him.

He had to go. He had to leave. He couldn’t see Zhongli again. His feet itched, but he couldn’t move. Zhongli would never love him. Zhongli could only love things that were long past, and Childe walked ever toward the future.

“Why are there no Glaze Lilies in Guili Plains?”

“They are a delicate flower, and Guili Plains turning desolate was too much for them to handle. But if you want to get poetic, then Guizhong’s demise surely had something to do with it.”

Childe wondered. If he died, would – would something wither for him? The seashells he was so fond of, would they crack?

“You miss her.”

“Yes.”

Will you miss me is a question left unasked.

Childe took a deep breath. He would fill the gaping hole inside his chest with blood and glory.

“I have something for you.”

Childe blinked. He didn’t remember buying something. He looked over to Zhongli, who held a sword out to him.

“I have been meaning to give it to you for a while but ah, things got in the way.”

Childe reached for the handle and held the sword up against the moonlight. The blade was green. He’d never seen a weapon like that before.

“I crafted it myself long ago. The blade is cut from the purest jade. I made it for a friend, but sadly, they never got to use it.”

“I...” Childe didn’t know what to say. He didn’t use a sword much these days, but he could appreciate good craftsmanship. And really, he could never have enough weapons.

“Thank you,” was what he settled on and Zhongli smiled at him.

“You wished to hear a story,” Rex Lapis said and Childe nodded, holding his new gift close.

“Once, a long time ago, Rex Lapis encountered a boy. The boy would never learn to fear the God he met and instead, would always smile brightly at him. Some might say the boy was ignorant of who he met, but Rex Lapis greatly enjoyed the company of the boy, unburdened by the past. It’s the tale of Rex Lapis, a god feared for his wrath, and a young boy with kind eyes and a gentle soul, ever ready to overtake the world and unafraid to walk in front of a god he ought to fear.

Once, a long time ago, Rex Lapis encountered a young boy who showed him the light of the sun again.”

Perhaps this was alright. Maybe Rex Lapis would always be stuck in the past and Childe would always walk ahead into the future. As Childe listened to Rex Lapis tell him an ancient tale, he fell asleep next to his friend Zhongli, a green sword tightly hugged to his chest.

He dreamed of a field full of flowers and a god and a boy, holding hands, walking towards the gentle brushing of the sea at the shore.

#genshin impact #zhongchi #tartali #genshin childe #genshin zhongli #hurt/comfort #angst #pining #unrequited love #maybe #fanfiction #irrlicht writes #genshin tartagalia #be gentle okay I can't write still

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Affection II

Characters: Childe, Ganyu, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,577

Warnings: None

Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.

In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.

Author’s Note: Evidently I’ve really missed writing these properly. I had such a great time writing, and I hope you guys enjoy these just as much as I did.

Also I’ve decided the version on Ao3 will now always be without bullet points, so if you prefer that format the link will be in the reblog.

Childe

You’d been floored by Childe pretty much since the day you two had met.

What had turned into the two of you meeting had started out a most unfavorable encounter. You’d gone to Lingju Pass, trying to survey some of the carvings of the old structure, and attempting to see the sort of methods used to construct such vast rocky complexes at the time. Unfortunately this goal had quickly turned into a goal of “don’t get caught”, as you’d found the Pass crawling with Fatui members. Though you weren’t nearly helpless, you’d also not come prepared for battle; and had spent most of the “fight” dodging around various blows while trying not to drop the expensive equipment that you’d borrowed from other Guild members.

Just as you’d come to the conclusion that the options were either drop everything and run or get thoroughly injured by a bunch of arrogant Snezhnayan soldiers there was a change in the air. The Fatui soldiers’ expression turned from one of glee to one of confusion, and then one of panic, as one by one a streak of blue began to throw them this way and that. As you regained focus of the terrain your realized that it wasn’t a streak at all but a person, a person who was wildly adept at sword play. Eventually the number of unconscious people had risen to five, and there was no one left but him and you.

“Need any help?”

The words might’ve been kind, had it not been for the smirk on the man’s face. Though you felt that the right answers would’ve probably been to scowl, you found you couldn’t, too wrapped up in the memory of this mysterious person darting this way and that, handling his water-made daggers with the grace of a ballet dancer.

“I’m Childe.” These words finally brought you back to the present.

“You’re a member of the Fatui.”

“I am.”

“Then why did you knock those guys out just now?”

“Boredom.”

You stared at Childe incredulously. Of course you’d heard his name, the man who, it was whispered, almost pulled Liyue into the sea. You’d formed a sort of mental picture of him completely divorced from the redhead now standing in front of you, bouncing slightly on his feet as he smiled cockily. He looked more like a rogue adventurer than one of the heads of a crime syndicate. Maybe that was why you found yourself infatuated, rather than afraid.

This infatuation only grew, fed by the encounters that you had with Childe. It seemed now you couldn’t avoid him, not that you wanted to. What had begun as a chance encounter multiplied into two, into four; soon enough you two had struck up a sort of friendship, one that baffled everyone else around you.

Of course you hadn’t lost all your sense, knowing quite well that the puppy love you were feeling could never be anything more. The way Childe talked about his work, about his duty to the Tsaritsa, made it very clear that he wouldn’t let a partner in his life or in his loyalties. And even if he changed his mind, why would he choose you? You were an adventurer sure, but you hadn’t even been able to properly defend yourself the first time the two of you met, and your oversight of that would’ve surely turned Childe away. Besides, Childe could probably make a partner out of anyone he wanted, if they were foolish enough. Why should that person be you?

Perhaps it was that knowledge that allowed you to be so free in your affection, spurred on by Childe’s own open nature. Hand holding, hugging, leaning one’s head on the other’s shoulder, it was the language of friendship that you two had adopted, and something that you greatly appreciated. There was something nice about a friendship in which one could be so open about caring about someone, without expecting things to go farther. Because you didn’t, you really didn’t. And though that might’ve been a bit painful, it was a small price to pay for Childe’s company.

“I’m going off to Mondstadt for a bit.”

“What?”

You drew away from Childe a bit to look into his face. The two of you were walking along the path towards Yaoguang Shoal, as Childe had taken a particular liking to the Starconches that lined its shores. Now he smiled awkwardly, squeezing your hand and shrugging his shoulders.

“I know, I know. There’s apparently this branch of the Fatui holed up there right now, and I��ve been asked to consult about something, though archons know what it is.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure, I think about two weeks? I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but the troops really must be in disarray if they need me skulking around for the next two weeks.” He let out a awkward laugh.

“I’ll miss you.” You replied, bumping your head into his shoulder and frowning. “It’s very boring without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly capable without me.” Childe smiled, one eyebrow raised slightly. “After all, what would you do if I left someday, permanently. You’d have to find a way without me.”

“Let’s not talk about that.” You replied hurriedly, switching the conversation towards something more pleasant. Unfortunately however the words had already been said, and the damage had already been done.

It had been two weeks since Childe had left for Mondstadt, and though normally you might’ve been waiting at the city gates for his return, you found yourself on the familiar road towards Lingju. Childe’s words had been ringing in your ears for the past two weeks, and you’d found the more time passed the more you kept thinking about them.

What would you do if I left someday, permanently. Is that what Childe truly wanted? To leave? The idea made your stomach hurt, as you began once more to run all your interactions through your head, as if trying to find a flaw in the strips of memory you had of Childe. Was that what Childe truly wanted, or was it simply that he was sick of you? When he’d said “you’d have to find a way without me” did that mean he wanted to find a way without you? Perhaps you’d been too forward, too demanding. Perhaps he’d managed to realize your feelings and felt repelled by them. Had it been too much, meeting him almost everyday for some periods of time, eating lunch together and sometimes dinner. What about that time you’d invited him over to your house to play a game? Had that been too much?

You sighed, dragging yourself over the final ridge. Sitting down to take a rest you closed you eyes. You hated that your mind wandered this way, that no matter what you couldn’t help but ask yourself again and again, what had you done. What would Childe think about this sad person laying on the ground, the sad part was you couldn’t answer that question.

The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you let out a suppressed groan at the figures in your line of sight.

“Don’t you guys ever get posted anywhere else?” You rolled your eyes, reaching behind your back to summon your polearm.

“You’re trespassing.” The voice that came out of the Electro Vanguard was so deep and distorted as to be hilarious.

“Lastly I checked you were neither a citizen of Liyue, nor Rex Lapis, so if anyone’s “trespassing” on public territory it’s you.” You sighed. “Oh well. Unfortunately you caught me on a day where I’m somewhat prepared.” With that you lunged towards the Hydro Legionnaire and the fight began.

Fighting when one is already frustrated is both a blessing and a curse. The fight itself was almost invigorating, the first Fatui hit the ground and with it you felt part of your worries fade away, if only for the small window of time which this fight offered. Was this why Childe fought so much? The though crossed your mind as you whirled behind the Pyro Bracer and pressed as much Electro as you dared into the back of his head, tripping him with the staff of your polearm on his way down.

Soon enough there was only you and the Electro Vanguard left. Unfortunately you were beginning to feel the other side affect of anger, that being misfocus. Being more versed in using your polearm as a sort of lightning rod your found the Vanguard much harder to deal with, more than once barely diving out of the way of the hammer he was swinging around, surprisingly light on his feet considering what the weight must be. Your anger was quickly draining, turning into something more akin to panic, and as you found yourself stumbling more and more you realized that today was really, really not your day.

The Vanguard was becoming aware of how fast you were tiring, a gravelly sort of laugh emerging from behind his mask. As you found your with you back to the slope you wondered if it was just worth it to make an escape. The Fatui swung his hammer once more, barreling towards you. Having nothing left to do you put your polearm out in front of you, hoping that your arms were strong enough not to recoil against the inevitable blow. Closing your eyes you thought of nothing, drowning in a sea of panic. If there was any coherent part of your brain it wished that you weren’t here, that you just stayed home, or swallowed you pride and gone to the gate. But it was too late now, and you were about to get hit.

However the blow never landed, instead a loud sound pierced the air. Whipping your arms open you saw the Electro Vanguard stumble, his hammer having been dropped on the ground. He was grasping towards his ankle, in which was stuck an arrow, glowing a faint aquamarine. Swearing the Fatui member glanced around, before stumbling away, dragging his weapon and his left leg behind him like dead weight.

“Some things never change, huh?”

“Childe!” You whirled towards your once again savior, face burning from embarrassment. “I took out the rest of them this time.”

“I can see that,” said Childe, surveying the area, a telltale smirk on his face, “very impressive. Although, if I may suggest, next time try to take out the Electro Vanguard first, especially since you don’t wield a weapon made for pure damage.”

“Is this turning into a teaching moment?”

“Absolutely not.” Childe laughed.

You found the sound catching, and soon a smile spread across your face as you let your polearm disappear once more. You ran up to Childe, and were about to throw you arms around his neck in a characteristic hug, when the thoughts of before came ramming back into your brain. Taking a step back you planted your arms firmly in front of you, hoping that maybe Childe hadn’t noticed what you’d been about to do.

However Childe approached you instead.

“You weren’t at the gate today.” He said coyly, lips drifting somewhere between a smirk and a frown.

“I’m sorry.” You lowered your head. “I just thought, well maybe that would be better. Since you said you might be leaving permanently and all, and since you were right when you said I’d have to figure things out without you, I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be for the best.”

Looking up the expression on Childe’s face could only be described as one of complete disbelief. For a moment he stayed frozen in place.

“What in Teyvat do you mean I’m leaving permanently?”

“You said that! Remember… when we were going to pick sea shells you said that you were leaving.” You stepped back, cheeks flushed. “Or maybe you were just sort of sick of me or something.”

“Why would you ever think that?” Childe walked up to you, enveloping one of the hands at your side in his own and bringing it up towards him.

“I… I don’t know,” you replied, feeling very confused and very foolish, “I thought maybe that I was being too affectionate, or too clingy. I mean I know you don’t like me or anything like that. And I thought maybe that I was crossing the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I don’t like you? I’ve liked you since almost the first day we’ve met!”

“Not like that! I mean, like like, you know? As in… well, as in I… I love you.” You let your voice peter out.

“I love you too!” Childe let out. Shaking his head he smiled widely. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve liked you since almost the first time we’ve met. I wasn’t trying to shoo you away.”

“What?” Your brain was short circuiting. Something had gone terribly wrong. You’d definitely been knocked out at some point, and was now hallucinating. There was no way Childe liked you, loved you. He could love anyone, why would he love you.

Childe stepped closer, moving so that your foreheads were almost pressed together.

“May I?” He whispered, voice almost shy. You nodded, a just as small “yes” escaping your lips before Childe cut off your ability to say anything more. It was a short kiss, sweet and chaste, and yet you felt everything around you suddenly come into sharp, almost lucid clarity. You weren’t dreaming. This was happening. This was Childe and he liked you. Childe like you. He liked you, he really liked you.

“Why?” You let out, when the two of you separated. Thankfully Childe remained close to you, being without his presence now would’ve been quite lonely.

“Why what?”

“Why me? I’m not, I don’t know, I can’t even knock out an Electro Vanguard without help.”

Childe let out a laugh, lovely as music.

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes sparkling, “because you’re you. And I like you.”

And all of a sudden you found that that was enough.

Ganyu

The days that you accompanied Ganyu on her various errands were the ones in which you were most aware that you were on a level utterly below her.

Of course humans could never really measure up to adepti, after all they made the world and humans simply lived in it. Still in terms of humans, well you weren’t exactly pushing exceptional. If Ganyu represented all that was exceptional about the adepti, well then you represented the average human who didn’t like their job and overall went about their day as unnoticeable as an ant on the road.

Of course Ganyu never acted in a way that would betray the imbalance between the two of you. Indeed Ganyu was nothing if not kind, sweet, and utterly without a semblance of hierarchy. It was one of the things that you adored about her, the straightforward honesty she carried with her, and the way that she appeared not to judge living beings on a scale, even if that was the right of those who were higher and didn’t have to worry about said scale.

“Can you carry this for me?” Ganyu’s voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. You smiled widely, knowing that Ganyu simply had difficulty asking other people for help.

“Of course I can!” Scooping up the package that was stretched out towards you, you saw Ganyu let out a short sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to help you. Where are we taking this?”

“Over to the funeral parlor. It seems that there are some tiles in here that are being used for a specific ritual. Hu Tao said that the family wanted it, I hope she doesn’t actually mean she pushed them towards it.” Ganyu let out a soft sigh. “She once suggested advertising for cremation. Somehow I feel that won’t exactly be welcomed by the people.”

“No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality. Ah, but Hu Tao is doing her best, and if these tiles end up being insulators, I suppose we can’t do much about it. I’ll make sure not to drop them anyways. Getting on Hu Tao’s bad side feels like asking for a prank.”

“You’re probably right.” Ganyu chuckled.

You blushed slightly, loving the way her laugh sounded, soft and open. You knew Ganyu struggled sometimes; she admitted to you herself that it was very difficult to live an existence defined by liminality. Was she an adeptus? Was she a human? She was neither, and yet both would claim her and call her other. In understanding this Ganyu had retreated into herself. Perhaps that’s why her laugh meant so much.

As you strolled down the docks an angry voice cut through the air.

“Qixing!”

Both of you turning around you saw Bolai, heaving slightly, teetering his way towards you. His face was stormy, and for a moment you wondered if someone had stolen something. His words when he caught up however revealed a very different motivation.

“I demand justice!”

“What for?” Ganyu asked, voice deadly serious once more.

“What for? For what Huixin said in regards to me! For the Liyue Qixing complying with disgusting rumors as to the ways in which I conduct my business and my finances. As to the way that you promised to help me then turned on me!”

“I see…” Ganyu sighed as you wracked your brain, trying to remember what she’d told you about the time that she and the traveler ran around trying to detangle various examples of tax fraud. “Have you considered putting up a formal complaint?” Ganyu meanwhile was still trying to keep professional, something that you admired her for.

“How am I supposed to trust the Qixing after what happened? No! I demand compensation now!”

“Sir, I’m sure you’re quite upset, but there’s no need to act in such a way. If you wish to clear your name, then we can meet in private and review the testimony and documents we received. If not, then I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you. I’m very sorry.”

Ganyu turned back towards the direction in which you two had been previously walking. Evidently too agitated to think properly Bolai let out a strangled cry.

“We’re not finished yet!” Reaching out, he seemed to be attempting to turn Ganyu around by the shoulder. Having been standing there unthinking you now moved to block the action, knowing that Bolai didn’t really mean anything by it, but not trusting the man who looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Bolai’s hand instead smacked into the box in your hands, which slipped from your grip and fell to the floor in a great crash.

Time seemed to slow down somewhat after this, as Bolai stepped backwards and Ganyu turned around, face one of evident horror at the scene. You felt your face begin to burn as you looked at the unassuming box, which now looked a little bit the worse for wear.

“What…” Ganyu trailed off. Bolai waved his hands about in a panicked sort of way.

“That wasn’t me! That wasn’t my fault! It was this person they… I don’t know what they were thinking, getting in the way like that. How idiotic! This is nothing but a mess, a disgrace!”

Normally you wouldn’t pay Bolai’s words any mind, but now they seemed to pierce right through, as you realized all the trouble you’d just caused Ganyu. Glancing over towards her you found you could neither look her in the eyes nor stay where you were.

“I-I’m sorry!” You stammered. Moving to pick up the box you found your hand hesitating. Fearing that you’d just make things worse you pulled yourself and dashed in the opposite direction, speeding up the docks and towards the outskirts of the city.

Normally the view from Mount Tianheng was one that stole your breath away. Today however the mountain seemed completely uninteresting, especially when compared to the thoughts racing in your head.

How had you gotten here, how had you messed up so much? Ganyu didn’t need your posturing, your attempt to help. She was an adeptus for Morax’s sake! And who were you? Someone who couldn’t even carry a box from Point A to Point B. And now you’d just caused more trouble for Ganyu, when she already had so much to do.

“I’m such a failure.” You groaned into your palms.

“You aren’t!” You lifted your head at the soft exclamation, already knowing who the voice belonged to. Ganyu sidled up to the ledge of the mountain silently, fidgeting with her hands. “May I sit next to you?”

“Of course.” You replied, grateful that Ganyu was even talking to you. Smiling softly the Qixing Emissary let out a soft sigh.

“I love the view of the city from here.” She spoke softly, eyes on the horizon.

“I do too.”

“There’s something so lovely about watching everyone go about their day, isn’t there? To see the people work in harmony to bring prosperity and peace to the city of Liyue. To see how everyone continues on the legacy of Rex Lapis.”

“That’s a lot to see.” You joked, still feeling a little uncomfortable, as if Ganyu might in a minute get up and leave.

“But can’t you see it?” Ganyu’s voice was earnest and her eyes shined. “It’s wonderful how people do it, how they continue to make this city thrive, to keep the contracts of Morax alive and within living memory.”

“Perhaps it’s just harder for humans to judge it themselves?”

“Perhaps.” Ganyu’s expression shifted into something, almost shy, not quite melancholic. “Just like how you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself.”

“I’m so sorry Ganyu. I don’t know what I was thinking! I just… I just, wasn’t thinking.”

“You were trying to be kind.” Ganyu replied, something almost akin to blush coating her cheeks. “And I have to thank you for that.”

“But I just caused more trouble…”

“You were trying to be kind,” Ganyu repeated, “like I said, you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself. But you have to. You didn’t truly do anything that needs forgiveness.”

“But I was doing it for completely selfish reasons!” You blurted out, embarrassment and doubt turning into the words you never wanted to utter. “It’s because I like you, and not just because I was trying to be nice. But because, because maybe I wanted to do something for you, and then maybe I’d be good enough maybe.” Realizing how odd that just sounded you turned your head away. For a moment your words hung in the air, and the longer the silence continued the longer you thought about how utterly selfish you were.

“Thank you.” There was a smile in Ganyu’s voice, and as you turned your head once more you could see it plastered across her face.

“For what?”

“For telling me you like me.”

“But… but isn’t it just burdening you? After all I’m not good enough for you.”

“You are!” Ganyu’s voice was firm. “You’re absolutely good enough for me. And what you did, you call it selfishness, but I don’t understand that. Being kind to people you like isn’t selfish, even if you like them. Because this time you were genuinely helping me. Besides, if that’s selfish then I’ve also been terribly selfish.”

“How?”

“By asking you to accompany me everywhere. Because maybe, maybe I like you too.”

For a moment you wondered if you hadn’t accidentally slipped off the cliff, so weightless did you feel. A bit lightheaded you leaned forward.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ganyu smiled nervously. Reaching out she took your hand in hers.

The two of you watched the sun set over the city of contracts mostly in silence. Every once in a while there would be a spurt of conversation, but mostly there was nothing but the sounds of the birds and the cicadas, and the pounding of two hearts, hearts both a bit ragged from the events of the day.

For what a day it had been. And how wonderfully it had ended.

Kaeya

If you could use anything as justification for your crush on Kaeya, he did flirt with you. Unfortunately he also flirted with everyone else in Mondstadt.

“How’s my favorite knight of Favonius?” Kaeya’s cocky voice was clear as a bell, and for a moment your heart flipped as the handsome knight came into view, smile as lovely as it had been the day before.

“Blessed by the presence of our beloved cavalry captain.” You replied in a singsong voice.

The first time Kaeya had used that line on you it felt like your soul had left your body and your heart had run a marathon. Unfortunately you’d heard him use practically the same line on Rosaria the next day, his favorite mysterious nun, robbing you of your fantasy in which Kaeya had any interest for you.

Your banter however was not without genuine feeling. You were utterly infatuated with Kaeya, having fallen for the handsome knight about two weeks into your own training. Originally having been an adventurer you’d joined the knights relatively recently after a series of Abyss attacks on the City of Freedom. As such Kaeya had by then already occupied an exalted position among the ranks, and the hours of being trained, teased, and flirted at by the mysterious cavalry captain had been enough to throw you head over heels.

Not that you’d ever expect things to develop more than they already had. Having a crush on the flirtiest man in Mondstadt did mean that you were praised every once in a while, but it also meant that the praise meant little more than empty words, and that there was always someone else who had heard them. Not that you begrudged those people, not knowing them or not caring. It was Kaeya’s right to be as he was, flirty and irreverent; and you’d never ask him to change that part of himself, or any other.

To do so would be to change the person you’d grown to love.

You trotted up the steps of the Favonius headquarters, opening the door with a slight “oof” before stepping into the cool building. Today was going to be a quiet sort of day for the knights, and you’d been assigned to pick up a few books from Jean’s office to be recorded by Lisa before being sent off to the Church. Going to open the door you paused at the voices inside.

“– saying it’s nothing.”

“And I’m saying that it’s becoming a distraction. I don’t want to control your actions Kaeya, but this pining has been slowing down your work, and we need you as one of our most crucial members to be on top of things.”

“I’m not pining.”

“What do you mean you aren’t pining,” Jean let out a snort, “as if it’s not obvious to everyone around you. Look, I’m not saying you have to break things off –”

“Good, because they haven’t even begun.”

“Then maybe that’s part of your problem. Maybe if you told them you liked them then you’d be able to get back on track.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“You aren’t doing anything. And that’s the problem.”

You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, having made your way over to the library as to make sure that you were get caught, and to cool your head in regards to what you’d just heard.

So Kaeya liked someone. You shouldn’t’ve really been surprised. Kaeya was a wonderful person; intelligent, good with a weapon, polite, handsome. What person wouldn’t fall in love with him? And when everyone’s in love with you, well, it was unsurprising that eventually Kaeya would find someone who he loved back just as much. Then, why did it hurt?

You fought the urge to wrack your brain for the people Kaeya spoke most about, finding the act beneath you. Still, your mind wandered. Perhaps it was Rosaria after all, or maybe it was only because you remembered her. Perhaps it was the sword smith who came twice monthly to check up on the weaponry. Or perhaps it was the tailor, who could sew anything with the utmost care. Or perhaps it was a musician, or an archivist, or another knight. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Your head swam and you found your eyes stinging. Now wasn’t the time to cry, not when you needed to honor your appointment with Jean, not when you were somewhere where any one of your colleagues might discover you. Not where Kaeya might walk in any minute and realize what you’d done. This thought finally brought you out of the spiral of your mind. Making sure that any tears that might’ve escaped were wiped away you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you walked out of the library and into Jean’s office.

Evidently you must’ve looked much worse than you thought, for Jean took one look at you and ordered you home, grumbling about how much trouble there had been recently. You thanked her half-heartedly before making your way out of the Headquarters, heart heavy as lead. At least work would’ve been a welcome distraction.

Arriving home you saw what Jean meant. Though you weren’t particularly teary, your face had taken on an ashen pallor that made it look like you’d either just gotten a shock, fainted, or had suddenly contracted consumption. Letting out a sigh you collapsed on the couch of your apartment. You knew you should probably do something, should eat or work on some extra work or something. But right now you didn’t want to do any of that. You just wanted to forget.

The knock that sounded at your door was extremely unwelcome, and you bit back bitter words as you made your way over to the door. Any protest however was silenced at the sight of Kaeya, hair slightly tussled, expression opaque, on your doorstep.

“Kaeya.” You meant to sound more peppy, but the action felt too tiring. “What’re you doing here?”

“Making sure that you’re alright. Jean told me that you looked unwell, and we can’t have our best knight getting sick, now can we?”

“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

You went to turn around, when Kaeya reached over and place his hand on your forehead. Freezing you let out a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a shriek. Kaeya didn’t react to this however, or the red quickly spreading across the bridge of your nose. Instead he let out a sigh, before smiling, something which also caused your heart to seize up.

“Not running a fever. I’m glad. Do you know what’s wrong by any chance?”

“Yes. No! I mean, I think, I, I just need rest.”

“You can tell me if something’s wrong. I might not be able to help, but I can try. Consider it the duty of the Cavalry Captain. Have to keep up appearances, even among the ranks.”

“Really Kaeya, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” Kaeya’s eye seemed to pierce through your soul. “You seem… upset, exhausted. Please, let me help.”

“I can’t…” Your voice cracked and you turned your head away, mortified by your inability to control yourself.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Kaeya’s voice was filled with sudden worry. “Is someone doing something to you?”

“No! No one is. I just can’t because, because it’d be selfish.”

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s tone had become utterly perplexed, and for a moment you felt the crazy urge to laugh. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious why you couldn’t. This was so tiring. You were so tired.

“Because it’s not fair of me to take away your happiness just because of my own feelings.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I heard you talking to Jean,” you explain, face burning, “she said that you liked someone. Or maybe you did, I don’t remember. Anyways you like someone and it’s not fair of that to hurt me, I have no right to your feelings. But, but it hurts, it really, really hurts.”

The silence when you finished was miserable. You weren’t even looking up at Kaeya, not wanting to see the destruction of a friendship you valued so much.

“Have you considered that the person I’m so infatuated with might be you?”

When you looked up you caught a wave of emotions, similar in strength to the ones currently going through you, plastered over Kaeya’s face. Happiness, sadness, regret, relief; all these things danced in his eyes. In that moment you loved him even more for it, for knowing that he understood, and that he too couldn’t hide the affects of having someone you loved so close and yet so far.

Saying nothing you walked over and slowly stretched your hand out. Kaeya took the hand in his, and you reveled in the small intimacy, in his calloused fingers enveloping yours.

“I’m not good enough.” You pointed out, voice soft.

“You aren’t the one who decides who I love.” Kaeya replied, voice firm. “To me there is no one else worthy in the world. Only you. And I hope that I can be the same for you, that I can be worthy.”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

For Kaeya was more than simply worthy. He was the one you loved the most, as well as the one who’d now made you the happiest person you could ever dream of.

#requested #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #childe #ganyu #kaeya #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #kaeya x reader #scenarios #my writing

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