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bellaxgiornata · 9 months

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All These Years [Part 13: "Breaking the News"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 7.6k

a/n: This installment is quite painful and there is still no comfort to be had in this series quite yet, friends. But hey, it's the long anticipated moment where Matt learns the truth, right? And you get a Matt POV at the end. Plus this one is LONG. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift @margoo0 @1988-fiend @lockleywife @strangeobsessed @justalittlebitbored @am-3-thyst @buckybarnes-1917 @thora-jane @lionalsowrites @cloudroomblog @prince-tassel @danzer8705 @yourlocalbentspine @harperdoodle @hollandorks (some of you I cannot tag so please check your settings!)

Shifting back and forth on your feet outside of Foggy’s apartment, you anxiously waited for him to answer the door. Both of your now sweat-slicked hands were firmly gripping the six pack of beer you’d picked up on your way over, hoping it would help ease the sting of what you were here to tell him. You were beyond terrified of his reaction and just hoping he would take the news as well as you figured he could.

You could hear Foggy’s muffled voice as he made his way through the apartment, the door swinging open a few moments later. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably in knots as Foggy’s beaming face came into view. You felt terrible that he had no idea why you’d asked to stop by tonight, and judging by the look on his face, he clearly thought it was just a friendly social visit.

“Hey!” he greeted brightly, saying your name. “Come on in!”

“Hey, Fog,” you greeted him back nervously.

Stepping inside, you awkwardly slipped out of your shoes as Foggy closed the door behind you. The rapidly beating thrum of your heart felt loud to your own ears as you sent him a tight smile. Foggy’s attention dropped down to the beer in your hands, his eyes further lighting up.

“Oh man, I am so glad you actually brought some beer because you know what?” he began, making his way towards the worn gray couch in his living room. “This whole week has been rough. Like an absolute shit show at the office. I could’ve started drinking hours ago.”

Hesitantly you followed after Foggy, making your way over towards his couch and watching as he sank down onto a cushion. Feeling even worse after hearing that his week had been difficult already, you awkwardly set the beer on his coffee table before sliding out two bottles and handing one to him. He thanked you before twisting off the cap, tossing it next to the six pack on the coffee table. Feeling slightly sick to your stomach, you opened your beer before settling onto the couch. Immediately you took a long pull from the bottle, swallowing the alcohol down and hoping it would quickly help dull your nerves. Except when you lowered the bottle to your lap, spotting Foggy across from you on the couch rubbing at his temples, your nerves only increased.

“So uh, bad week?” you asked lamely.

Foggy nodded enthusiastically. “That’s an understatement,” he replied. “We almost lost the trial yesterday. The whole thing was a massive headache. Matt has been a little too distracted this week with who the hell knows what, but he was off. Like way off this week. He was nothing like his usual self.”

“Oh,” you whispered, not wanting to think about Matt right now.

“But anyway, it’s Friday tomorrow and things should hopefully be looking up,” Foggy concluded, the smile returning to his face. “I’m going to try to remain optimistic that tomorrow will be better. But what about you? How’s work been going for you? And how’re things with your man? I haven’t seen him in a bit.”

Gripping the bottle of beer a little tighter in your hands, you took a deep breath and tried to prepare yourself for the news you were about to break.

“Well, Adam and I…broke up,” you admitted slowly.

Foggy’s eyes grew wide immediately, one hand lowering the beer from his mouth before he could even take a drink. He was leaning towards you on the couch, his mouth open in shock. You watched as he struggled to take a moment to process the information.

“You–you guys broke up? When?” Foggy asked.

Biting your lip, you looked away. Your cheeks were burning from the guilt at having kept Foggy in the dark for so long, but you hadn’t been ready to tell Foggy the full truth about why you’d broken up and that you were possibly moving. And there hadn’t really been a way to explain things away to him without lying in front of Matt–which you knew Matt would’ve called you out on.

“It’s been a few months now,” you told him.

“What?” he asked in shock.

Foggy was quickly sliding over to you on the couch, reaching over to set his beer on the coffee table before his focus fully turned on you. You could already feel the tears forming when you saw that damn sympathetic look on his face again.

“Dude, hey, what’s going on? Why didn’t you tell me you and Adam broke up?” he questioned. “You tell me everything . What happened?”

“He wanted more from me than I could give him,” you confessed, lips trembling. “Because I–I'm still…”

Foggy’s face instantly fell, knowing exactly what you meant without you even needing to finish your sentence. He nodded slowly.

“Matt?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Matt.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Foggy said, one of his hands landing comfortingly on your shoulder. “I really thought maybe Adam had been the one to get you past your feelings for him. You both seemed so happy together.”

“We were, to an extent,” you told him. “Until Erica came into the picture and reminded me that I can’t just push my feelings for Matt under a rug.”

“So that’s why you broke up then?” Foggy asked. “Because you still have feelings for Matt?”

“Well,” you began slowly, your mouth suddenly going dry, “there was…something else.”

Foggy straightened on the couch instantly, his eyes narrowing curiously back at you. You felt his hand tighten on your shoulder just a bit.

“What do you mean?” he asked. “Did he–was he…?”

“No,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “No, he wasn’t cheating. But I–I was offered a new position at work a few days before we broke up.”

You swore Foggy’s entire body had frozen on the couch. It didn’t even look like he was breathing anymore.

“It uh, it has a huge pay increase–almost double my current salary,” you continued, your stomach nervously churning as you did. “But it’s–it’s out in L.A. And Adam didn’t want to leave his job and his family here. Which is why he mentioned things like moving in together and–and possibly marriage down the road. He wanted me to stay for him. But I couldn’t see those things with him. And I tried really hard to, but I just–just couldn’t. So we broke up. And then afterwards I’d been…considering the job offer.”

Foggy’s lips thinned out, tears shining noticeably in his own eyes as he sat so still beside you. You could feel your own tears ready to fall at the way he was looking at you.

“You're taking it, aren't you?” he whispered. “You’re taking the job?”

Swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat, you nodded. “Yeah, Fog,” you answered. “I accepted it. They offered it months ago and I’d been waiting until it was a sure thing before I told you.”

Foggy sniffled loudly, his hand releasing your shoulder to wipe the heel of it across his watery eyes. “So you’ve known for a while?” he asked.

“Like I said, it wasn’t a sure thing,” you told him. “My company was still trying to get their new office set up out there for the past couple of months. But I officially accepted the offer at the beginning of this week. I uh, I’m flying out this weekend to find an apartment, but I’ll be back on Monday for work.”

“Fuck,” Foggy swore, turning and slumping defeatedly back into the the couch. “I can’t fucking believe this.”

Licking your lips nervously, your attention dropped down to the beer in your lap. Your fingers were drumming along the brown bottle as you heard Foggy curse again. Slowly you tried to inhale a deep breath, struggling to keep your resolve. You knew this was going to be difficult, but you also knew you needed to do this.

“Why are you leaving?” Foggy asked, breaking the silence that had fallen.

“I told you,” you began, “I was offered a position that–”

“No,” he said, cutting you off firmly and sitting upright again, the movement and tone catching your eye. “No, that’s not why you’re leaving. It’s because of this thing with Matt, isn’t it? You’re leaving because of him.”

Stunned, your mouth opened and closed a few times as you tried to form a sentence. Were you that transparent?

“Fog, I–”

“You’re running away, aren’t you?” he pressed. “Admit it. You’re running away from him.”

“Foggy, I can’t do this anymore,” you confessed, a few tears finally spilling over. “Yes, okay? Yes, I’m running away from Matt. Because I love him and he knows it, but what he feels for me isn’t the same. It’ll never be the same.”

You brushed a hand absently over your cheeks to wipe away the tears that had slipped out. Fuck, you were so sick of crying.

“I love him, Fog,” you said, voice breaking on his name. “And it hurts so fucking bad. Do you have any idea what that’s like? To be in love with your best friend for years ?”

Tears were openly streaming down Foggy’s face now as he listened to you. He kept dabbing at his eyes with the back of his hand, but more tears kept coming in their stead. The sight of him crying was only further causing more of your own tears to fall.

“I see him all of the time, Foggy,” you continued, emotion thick in your voice. “It hurts to even hug him knowing it means something else to me than it does to him. And it’s like I swear I feel something everytime we do. It’s like this–this warm, happy, safe feeling washes over me. Like I could just–just stay there forever. But then I have to remind myself he’s just my friend and it hurts .” Sniffling loudly, you tried to keep your voice even as the words continued to pour out of you. “Now he’s with Erica. And you’ve seen him with her, Fog. He’s got that lovesick puppy look around her all of the time. He’s been crazy about her for months. It’s like Elektra all over again, except Erica isn’t necessarily bad for him. Their relationship, despite how busy Erica always is, is one that I could see becoming something more, you know?”

“Marriage?” Foggy asked.

Grimacing, you nodded. “Yeah,” you whispered. “And if it’s not her, it’s going to be someone else. Someone who isn’t me. And Fog, I–I can’t–can’t–”

The words got stuck in your throat, and no matter how hard you tried, it was a choked sob that fell out of you instead. Foggy was quick to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a hug. Burying your face into his shoulder, you openly wept at the thought of having to witness Matt get married to someone else. It had been painful for years to see him sleep around with countless women at Columbia, even worse when he’d been so stuck on Elektra with how awful she was for him. And then it stung watching him date and sleep around even more after that. But seeing him in a relationship now that might be eventually going towards something serious down the road? That had been the line you had to draw.

“I can’t be here to see that,” you choked out, shaking your head against Foggy’s shoulder as the tears continued to fall from your eyes. “It would–would kill me, Fog. I can’t–can’t see him marry someone else. I can’t do it. I can’t .”

“But why do you have to go?” Foggy whispered. “Why do you have to leave me, too?”

“Because Matt will always be here,” you answered softly. “And as long as he’s within reach, I’ll always be reaching for him.”

Pulling away from Foggy, you wiped roughly at your eyes. His arms released you slowly, coming to wipe at his own eyes that were still watering.

“I’m sorry, Fog,” you whispered. “But you can still come visit. So can Karen. And–and maybe someday I’ll come back and visit you here. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.”

“Have you told Matt?” Foggy asked.

The question felt like a punch to the gut. You winced at the mention of Matt, that ache in your chest painfully growing. You wondered if anything would ever get rid of it.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head. “I haven’t.”

“How long until you leave?” Foggy asked.

Your focus dropped down to the beer in your lap. Fingers fidgeting nervously with the label, you refused to look at Foggy when you spoke next.

“About three more weeks,” you said.

“Shit,” he breathed out. “So when–when are you going to tell him?”

Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, you shook your head. “I don’t know,” you admitted. “I don’t even know how to look him in the face and tell him this. I don’t know how I’m going to–” you paused, eyes snapping shut, “–to say goodbye to him.”

“He deserves to know,” Foggy pointed out. “He deserves a chance to say goodbye to you.”

“I know,” you breathed out. “I know.”

Turning the corner, your eyes landed on the red neon sign for Josie’s bar. Your arms wrapped anxiously around yourself, hugging your body tight as you made your way down the sidewalk towards it, maneuvering through the evening foot traffic on the sidewalk.

Tonight was the night. You'd asked Fog and Matt to come out with you to Josie’s. It would be just the three of you this evening, no significant others. Just like old times.

And you were going to tell Matt you were moving in three days.

You'd admittedly cried a lot back at your apartment while you'd gotten ready to come out. Just thinking about what you were going to say to Matt and knowing how soon you would be saying goodbye had gotten you instantly emotional. And you knew Matt was going to be upset with you tonight. You were telling him just days before you left. It hadn’t been intentional, you’d certainly tried to tell him over the weeks before, but you had kept putting it off because you'd been too much of a coward, too afraid to tell him so many other times before. But now that your flight out of New York City was literally days away, you knew you didn’t have a choice. You couldn’t keep putting it off.

Opening the door to Josie’s and stepping inside, you were instantly hit with that musty, moldy smell that always seemed to mix with the scent of alcohol and sweat here. It wasn’t much cooler inside than it was outside tonight you noticed, your eyes scanning the bar for a sign of Matt and Foggy. You spotted them by a table at the far back of the bar, your eyes connecting to Foggy’s almost instantly. He sent you a sad smile, waving you over. You tried your best not to look miserable in return as you approached the table.

“You finally made it,” Matt said, shooting you a wide grin. “Was wondering what was taking you so long.”

The smile you tried to return him probably looked pained, but you knew despite his senses he couldn’t quite tell that. For a moment you stood there standing beside the table, your eyes scanning Matt over where he sat. That handsome, charming smile was still spread wide across his face. You noticed his beard was a bit darker and thicker than usual beneath his red glasses tonight, and he was dressed in his usual white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his muscular forearms on display as he rested his arms on the table.

The sight of him alone felt like a stab to the heart. Blinking hard, you forced yourself to look away as you situated yourself in the chair across the table from him. Turning, you focused your attention on Foggy to the left of you instead. You needed a moment to try to collect yourself.

“Yeah,” you said, finally responding to Matt. “I was running a little late, sorry. I hope you guys weren’t waiting too long.”

“Just a few minutes,” Matt replied. “Not a big deal. I grabbed you a beer, hope that’s alright.”

He slid a bottle across the table towards you, your eyes following the movement of it. For some reason the little act of thoughtfulness had your heart squirming in your chest. It was just a beer, after all. It didn’t mean anything. It’s not like you all hadn’t bought drinks for each other many times in the past.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

A silence fell across the three of you when Matt drew his own beer to his lips for a drink. Your eyes landed on Foggy, noticing him shooting you a pointed look. He’d been on your ass about telling Matt you were leaving for weeks now, and it was apparent on his face that he was mentally screaming at you to rip the bandaid off and just tell him already.

“So uh, how’s work been?” you asked.

Foggy’s eyes narrowed at you and you quickly glanced down at the table, ignoring the sharp look on his face. You didn’t want to just sit down and drop the news in Matt’s lap the moment you showed up. You, at the very least, needed a minute to prepare yourself.

“Busy,” Foggy replied simply. “How’s work been for you?”

Nervously your tongue darted out, wetting your lips. You knew what he was doing. It felt like your throat was closing up at just the thought of saying ‘I’m moving in three days’ to Matt.

“Good,” you answered.

Foggy’s eyes only narrowed further at you. Unable to stand the weight of his glare, you glanced across the table to Matt. But that had proven to be a terrible idea because he was focused straight on you, his head tilted a bit to the side. His dark brows had furrowed together, slightly drawing down below the red lenses he wore.

You knew that look. Ever since you’d learned that Matt was the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and you’d been informed about his heightened senses, you’d come to recognize when Matt was picking up on something. Zeroed in on it. And right now he was very focused on you. That alone had your pulse increasing, wondering how much he was picking up on– what he was picking up on.

“You doing alright?” Matt asked you.

Clearing your throat, your attention dropped back to the table. Saying yes was an obvious lie. Saying no would leave you telling Matt the truth right here and now and you weren’t sure the words were going to come out yet. You weren’t sure you were ready for the way he’d surely be upset with you at the news.

“I’m just stressed,” you said–not technically a lie.

There was a brief pause. You could feel both men staring at you and you felt yourself shrinking further in on yourself in response.

“Stressed about what?” Matt pressed.

“Work,” you answered simply.

“What about work?” Foggy pushed.

One of your hands grabbed onto your beer bottle, squeezing it tight in your fist. You felt like you were going to explode, your heart pounding hard in your chest.

“Why don’t we talk about work a little later?” you suggested, teeth gritting together.

Your focus flew up to Foggy, the pair of you locking eyes. There was a very disappointed expression currently resting on his face. For some reason when you saw his mouth open, your own did, too. But instead of blurting the truth to Matt, you found yourself blurting something almost as bad before Foggy could speak.

“How’re Marci and Erica?”

You cringed the moment the question left you, realizing you’d asked Matt to indulge you with details about his relationship. That was not what you wanted. Even Foggy’s expression softened at your question, aware of your mistake.

“Marci’s been busy with work, but doing good,” Foggy answered.

“Great,” you replied stiffly.

Grinding your teeth together, you turned your attention to Matt. There was no backing out of enduring this tidbit about Erica because you’d asked for it. You were just going to have to force the strained smile to stay on your lips as you waited for Matt to stab you in the heart yet again.

“Uh, she’s doing well,” Matt answered slowly, his focus seeming to shift between you and Foggy for a moment.

“Fantastic,” you stated, the strained smile still on your mouth.

You drew your beer up to your lips for another drink, feeling like you desperately needed it. When Matt suddenly spoke again, you hadn’t been expecting it.

“Actually,” he said, his tone a little off, “there was something I was hoping to talk to you both about. Since it’s been quite some time since we’ve been together like this. Just the three of us. I figured I’d tell you both something that’s been on my mind recently.”

Swallowing down your beer, you slowly lowered the bottle to the table. Your attention shifted to Foggy, one of your brows raising curiously. He made a face, lightly shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head in return. He looked just as confused as you were.

“It’s about Erica,” Matt began.

You sucked in a breath, holding it as your eyes flew back to Matt and you waited in anticipation. Had they broken up? Had Matt finally told her the truth about himself and she couldn’t handle it? Was she…cheating on him?

“Look, I know it’s not been quite seven months yet, but I’ve been thinking about just taking the plunge,” Matt continued on, his words tumbling out rapidly. “She’s really great. And she’s an intelligent, driven, successful woman. And we get along so well. I–I’ve found myself thinking about marriage lately.”

It took your brain a few seconds to process what Matt had just said, but when you did, your jaw literally dropped. He hadn’t been with Erica for quite seven months yet, but he was already thinking about marrying her?

Your breath literally caught in your throat as you sat there in absolute shock. You couldn’t breathe. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Foggy’s head instantly whip in your direction. His eyes were wide, his mouth also hanging open in complete surprise.

“Guys?” Matt said nervously. “Care to say something?”

He wanted to marry Erica.

He wanted to marry her .

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her .

Your right hand flew up to your chest, clutching the fabric of your shirt roughly in your fingers. There was a sharp pain shooting straight through your heart in a way you’d never felt before. Were you about to have a panic attack? A heart attack maybe? Was that what this was?

You might actually throw up.

“That’s uh…” Foggy said, voice trailing off as he tried to search for words.

“A good thing?” Matt suggested.

You could hear your pulse hammering in your own ears as you tried to inhale a shaky breath. Fuck, why was it so hard to breathe? Across the table, Matt focused back on you, saying your name with a note of concern.

“Are you doing okay?” he asked slowly. “You don’t sound…alright.”

He just fucking told you he wanted to marry Erica when he knew you were in love with him. Of course you weren’t fucking alright . You were the farthest goddamn thing from alright .

“Does she know?” you breathed out.

“Well…no,” Matt answered slowly. “I haven’t bought up the topic quite yet but I–”

“Does she know who you really are?” you pressed, cutting him off as your hand clutched your chest tighter. “ Does she know ?”

You swore you saw his eyes narrow behind his glasses in the dim light of Josie’s. His lips pressed firmly together in what appeared to be a hint of irritation.

“No,” he answered, his tone darkening a bit. “She doesn’t know that yet, but I don’t think it will be a problem at the moment. She’s mentioned always wanting a long engagement, so I’d have plenty of time to figure it out with her. I don’t think it would be an issue, and until then, she’d want to probably stay at her place near her work. Which means I could keep doing what I’ve been doing. We’d just have to figure that all out later. We’d make it work.”

A bitter laugh fell out of you before you could stop it. Didn’t he hear how stupid that sounded? What the hell sort of hold did she have on him? Why was he so stuck on her? He deserved so much better than being with someone who didn’t know him. He deserved someone who saw all of him and wanted him still. Who loved him for the man he was, crazy and frustrating as he could be sometimes.

Someone like you.

But of course you were never good enough. He'd rather propose to a woman that didn't know he could smell what she'd eaten for lunch when she saw him after work. That had no idea he was risking his life most nights to save the people in the part of the city he loved so dearly.

“She will never move to Hell’s Kitchen with how much she dislikes it, and you’ll never leave it,” you stated sharply, anger quickly growing within you at how ridiculous this whole situation was beginning to sound. “How does that work, Matthew?”

Matt’s brows entirely pulled together behind his lenses, his jaw clenching as he stared back at you. “Well I don’t see how that’s any of your concern,” he shot back, a sharper edge to his tone. “You’re not part of this relationship.”

You gaped at him, momentarily stunned and hurt. A second later your eyes darted over to Foggy, seeing him sitting there in absolute mortification at whatever was happening between you and Matt. He looked like a deer in the headlights.

“Well, Matthew ,” you said bitterly, focusing back on him across the table and not even bothering to hide your anger at this point. What did it matter anymore? You were leaving in three days anyway. “I think it’s a bit absurd that you want to propose to a woman who doesn’t even know you, when you have absolutely no fucking idea where you both would even live together, after not quite seven months of dating. Doesn’t sound like you thought more than three seconds about this whole thing.”

“Excuse me?” he snapped, his dark brows shooting up onto his forehead. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I think it sounds like you’re clinging to her like you clung to Elektra,” you snapped. “For whatever fucking reason you did.”

Matt sat back in his chair, a look of surprise mingled with hurt written on his face. Part of you felt bad for that low blow, but you didn’t have long to feel that way before Matt was leaning forward again, his face set in a firm expression.

“Just because things didn’t work out how you wanted for yourself, doesn’t mean the rest of us have to sit here stuck in one place,” Matt shot back.

His words felt like a slap to the face. You sat there for a moment, the tears burning in your eyes at the audacity of him saying that to you. Of him knowing how you felt about him, telling you he wanted to marry another woman, and then throwing your feelings back at you like that.

Swallowing hard, you abruptly pushed your chair back and rose to your feet. Matt was still sitting and seething on the other side of the table, focused on your movements. Foggy’s face looked like it was permanently stuck in a mixture of shock and horror as he sat in utter silence.

“Fuck you, Matt,” you growled. “I never thought you were that much of an asshole to throw my feelings for you like that back in my fucking face.”

Matt straightened instantly in his chair, his expression shifting rapidly. “What?” he asked.

“I said fuck you ,” you spat, tears starting to make their way down your cheeks. “For knowing I’ve had feelings for you all these fucking years,” you barreled on, watching as his mouth immediately dropped open and his eyebrows shot up high onto his forehead, “and letting me think you were fucking dead for months and now making me listen to your bullshit desire to marry Erica. You’re not worth the goodbye. So fuck you, Matthew Murdock.”

You didn’t bother to wait for him to recover from the shock of your outburst, his body pin straight in his chair as he gaped at you in stunned silence. Turning on your heel, you stormed off out of Josie’s, fuming internally as you pushed the door open and made your way out into the night.

Matt sat in his chair, his mind racing as he listened to you making your exit from Josie’s. He could taste the salt of your tears and the venom of your anger in the air right before you'd left, but it was what he'd thought he'd heard you say that had him sitting dumbfounded in his seat.

Had you said what he'd thought you'd said? Had that really happened?

"Shit, Matt," Foggy groaned out. "What the hell was that?"

Matt's head spun towards Foggy, shock still coursing through him. He could feel his hands shaking as they reached up, pulling his glasses from his face and lowering them to the table.

"What did she just say?" he asked Foggy in disbelief.

Matt could hear the way Foggy’s mouth dropped open yet again and the way his eyes had widened on his friend's face. Though Matt was more focused on the feel of his own racing heart in his chest as he tried to understand what had just happened.

"I think she said it pretty loud and clear, buddy," Foggy told him. "She's pissed at you. And I don't blame her one bit."

"No," Matt breathed out, shaking his head at Foggy. "Not that. The other part. The part about having feelings for me."

"I mean…yeah," Foggy replied matter-of-factly. "She's had them for you forever, dude. You knew that already though."

" What ?" Matt whispered in shock.

You…you'd had feelings for him? For Matt? For years ? And you both for some reason thought he knew that?

"Yeah, Matt," Foggy continued. "She's been crazy about you practically since she met you. She said you guys talked about this when she found out about your big secret. That was a while ago now. She said you'd told her you always had known she liked you because of your senses."

"I–what?" Matt stammered.

"Dude," Foggy said in exasperation. "Why are you acting like this is such big news?"

"Because it is , Fog!" Matt exclaimed. "She told me she was in love with you !"

Foggy froze, his mouth once again hanging wide open. Matt could feel the confusion practically rolling off of him in the chair beside him. Then he noticed Foggy quickly and firmly shaking his head.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Matt?" he asked. "When the hell did she tell you that ?"

"That night!" Matt shouted. “She told me that night!”

“No,” Foggy said, still shaking his head. “No, there’s no way, dude. Did she expressly say ‘Hey, Matt I’m in love with Foggy?’”

Matt opened his mouth, about to tell him yes, but then he stopped short. Because no, you hadn’t in fact said Foggy’s name exactly. You had never actually told him you had feelings for Foggy. He’d always just thought that’s who you’d meant and it had made sense. Even Elektra had been pushing that idea onto him, telling him that you were always pining after him. How obvious it was with the way you looked at Foggy. He’d always thought that was the truth.

Had he been wrong this whole time?

“No,” Matt breathed out. “She–she never said your name. She never said any name.”

It felt like his entire world was falling apart around him. You’d never actually told him you liked Foggy. Never explicitly said his name. He’d just let Elektra’s words and his senses paint a story for him that he’d believed for so long. Which meant that night, over a year ago now when Elektra had dropped him off at your apartment, you’d been thinking he knew that you'd always had feelings for him because of his senses, when Matt had thought you had confirmed you'd always had feelings for Foggy this whole time. And that also meant that night when you hadn’t known who the masked man was and he’d found you drunk in that alley after your asshole ex had cheated on you–it had been him you’d really been crying over. You had both held each other tight that night crying over your feelings for each other in the rain.

All of this time he had been the friend who you’d had feelings for? How could he have been so fucking unaware?

“Holy shit, you really didn’t know, did you?” Foggy asked in surprise.

“No,” Matt repeated vehemently, his focus returning to Foggy. “No, Fog. I swore I thought she was always in love with you! Ever since she met you the pair of you just clicked! You were always spending so much time together. Both so alike. And her body was always reacting like crazy around you–but it…” he trailed off, blinking hard a few times. “It was me?”

Foggy reached out, placing a hand on Matt’s shoulder. He felt his friend give it a reassuring squeeze as he tried to process the influx of information suddenly rushing back to him. Every time he’d thought he was reading you reacting to Foggy, it had been him. How could he have read you so wrong for years?

“Fuck, I almost told her on graduation night,” Matt recalled, tears filling his eyes. “You’d fallen asleep and she was–was right there . I had been about to tell her I had feelings for her–about to kiss her–but then she suddenly panicked and I felt her fear. I thought it was because she knew I was going to and she had gotten scared. Because she wanted you .”

“Dude, no,” Foggy said, squeezing Matt’s shoulder again. “She probably was hoping you’d kiss her but afraid she was misreading the situation. That’s probably the fear you picked up on. She thinks you’ve only ever seen her as a friend, Matt.”

Matt ran a hand through his hair, his mind reeling. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“All this time I’ve just been–been misreading everything ?” Matt asked in shock.

“Clearly. But how the hell does that even happen with you? With what you can do?” Foggy questioned him. “And also–what the fuck, Matt? You’ve had feelings for our best friend all this time and you never fucking told me ?”

Matt’s attention returned to Foggy beside him, his sightless eyes intensely focused on him. “Do you remember that fall semester?” Matt asked earnestly. “That girl I told you I’d ran into?”

“Matt,” Foggy said with a sigh. “You ran into many girls.”

Matt shook his head quickly. “No, not like this. Not her. The one we called the White Whale?” he pushed.

Matt could hear the way Foggy’s brows drew together on his forehead. His hand fell away from Matt’s shoulder and instead came to run across his mouth as he took a moment to think back.

“Yeah,” Foggy eventually answered. “The girl you spent weeks looking around campus for. The one you were dying to meet. We came up with a bunch of ridiculous ways you might meet up with her over winter break.”

“Yes, her,” Matt replied in a rush. He whispered your name, feeling his heart twisting at the sound of it. “That was her . She was the White Whale, Fog.”

Foggy sat speechless for a moment, his hand still raised to his mouth as if he’d been taken off guard by Matt’s admission. Matt could hear Foggy’s heart rate elevating even further in his chest as he processed that information.

“You–you told me you met the White Whale and things hadn’t worked out, Matt,” Foggy pointed out. “You told me that.”

“Because I thought she’d fallen for you!” Matt shot back, gesturing a hand roughly at Foggy. “So I never told you it was her because I figured it didn't matter anymore. And I was–was an asshole and selfishly never said anything about the feelings I thought she had for you because I–I didn’t want to see you two together.”

“Fucking hell, Matt,” Foggy groaned, running a hand down his face. “What a fucking mess. So all this time you two idiots have had feelings for each other and nothing happened because no one fucking said anything?”

“I had no idea,” Matt whispered. “I had no idea she felt that way about me.”

“Ugh!” Foggy exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

Matt heard the way both of Foggy’s hands flew up to cover his face soon after, his hands rubbing agitatedly at his eyes. He could feel the irritation and frustration coming from his best friend, and he could feel something else exuding from him, too. But Matt didn’t take a moment to even wonder what it was as a thought suddenly struck him.

He shoved his chair back, swiftly rising to his feet. He was going to go after you. He had to. He had to tell you the truth. But Foggy’s hand abruptly grabbed onto his arm and it caused Matt to stop before he could even leave the table.

“What’re you doing?” Foggy asked him.

“Going after her,” Matt answered as if it was obvious. “I can’t leave her like that, Fog. I can’t let her continue thinking I knew all of this time that she had feelings for me and that I never felt the same. Because that’s not true. And I can't let her keep thinking that.”

“Matt, buddy, no,” Foggy replied quickly, tugging on his arm. “You just told her minutes ago that you were considering marrying someone else. And need I remind you–you’re still dating Erica. The woman you just told her you wanted to marry. You can't chase off after her in some grand romantic pursuit and tell her you have feelings for her. Not like this. She deserves better, Matt.”

A pained expression pulled at Matt’s face. He didn’t want to let you go back home feeling like this.Thinking what you were thinking. He didn’t want that. Especially knowing what he now knew.

"What're you saying?" Matt asked.

"You want to tell her this?" Foggy questioned back. “That you have feelings for her?”

Matt nodded immediately. "Yes, Fog. Yes. I've wanted to tell her for years. I’ve come so close so many times," he confessed.

"Then do it when you're single, Matt," Foggy stated. "Don't you dare go chasing after her and telling her you have feelings when you're dating another woman. When you just finished talking about marrying another woman. Don't you do that to her, man. Because so help me, Matt, I don't care how well you throw a punch, I will hit you."

Matt's face slowly fell as he gradually slumped back down in his chair. Foggy was right. He had just dropped this idea of proposing to Erica on you–and God what an asshole he felt like now knowing how much that had to have hurt you to hear. No wonder you’d gotten so angry and your body’s stress levels had risen so quickly. And now he would sound like an ass chasing you down after that. But knowing how much pain he’d just caused you only increased that familiar heartache of his own that was currently twisting and constricting in his chest. He’d hurt you tonight. And probably countless nights over the years. How often had you been crying because of him ? He wanted to slam his fist through the table at the thought.

"Why the hell do you want to marry Erica anyway?" Foggy asked. “That seems so out of nowhere, man.”

"Because we–we get along," Matt answered lamely. "And she's always so busy so me being Daredevil has never caused an issue. It’s never been a problem. And I–I don't want to be alone,” he admitted, aware of how pathetic he sounded. “I figured Erica and I would figure things out later. That maybe she'd understand. I wasn’t really thinking things through, I admit that."

"Matt, Erica doesn't even know about your heightened senses," Foggy pointed out. "You can't get that serious with someone out of convenience and fear of being alone, buddy. It's wrong and it won't work out. That’s not fair to Erica, either."

"I know," Matt murmured, running a hand over his forehead. "You're right. You’re both right. I just–just thought I'd never have her and I was lonely. And when I was with Erica, she made me feel less lonely."

Foggy was shaking his head again. "That's not right, Matt. You can't do that to Erica."

"I know," he whispered, shamefully burying his face in his hands. "I'll talk to Erica tomorrow after work. I'll end the relationship. And then I'll talk to her." He whispered your name, his voice muffled by the hands over his face. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes. “I’ll tell her the truth. Everything.”

God did he want to tell you the truth so badly, too. He wondered how pissed at him you would be when you heard it. He wondered if there was anything he could do to make this whole situation salvageable. To fix all the things he’d fucked up, knowingly and unknowingly. He would do anything at all. Whatever it took.

"Well if you're going to tell her about your feelings you better hurry, Matt," Foggy said, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re running out of time.”

Matt's brows drew together on his forehead. Something you'd said just before you left ran through his mind again. Something about him not being worth a goodbye. Matt felt his chest tightening further, a few tears slipping out of his eyes as he instantly drew his face from his hands and focused back on Foggy beside him.

"What's going on, Fog?" he asked anxiously. "You said she had something to tell me tonight. I'm guessing this wasn't it. So what is it?"

Foggy expelled a deep sigh, his grip on Matt’s shoulder growing a bit firmer. Matt felt his heart beating a bit erratically in his chest in the silence that followed, especially with the nervous sounds Foggy’s body was making right now.

"She was offered a new position at work," he finally told Matt. "Really amazing pay–almost double her salary. But the job is in L.A. where her company is opening up a new office."

It felt like someone had ran Matt’s heart straight through with a knife. He had endured a lot of physical pain over the past few years running around the city at night, his body taking a lot of abuse. But the way those words struck Matt hurt more than any injury he'd ever sustained.

"Is she–did she…?"

Foggy nodded solemnly. "Yeah," he answered. "She accepted it. She moves at the end of the week."

Matt's tongue felt heavy in his mouth, unable to swallow or form words as his lips began to tremble. You were leaving him. He just found out the truth–that you felt the same way after all this time–and you were leaving him. Moving to the other side of the country in a matter of days and he had no idea until just now. Days before you left.

"What–what about Adam?" Matt breathed out.

"They broke up months ago," Foggy replied. "She realized when you were with Erica that she just couldn't get over you. She hoped Adam might’ve been the one, but apparently he wasn’t.” Foggy sighed, his hand still comfortingly on his friend’s shoulder. “That's why she took the job, Matt. She's running from you. Running from her feelings for you."

Matt’s gaze dropped down to the table, more tears slowly sliding down his face. He’d done that to you, then. Hurt you so badly that you wanted to run from him. Put an entire country between the both of you. Now you didn’t even want to say goodbye to him. He winced at the pain of that thought.

"What if–if I told her?" he asked Foggy desperately, his focus returning to his friend. "What if I told her how I felt, Fog? Would she stay? Do you think she wouldn’t leave then?"

He heard the way the air shifted as Foggy shrugged in answer. The gesture didn't ease the constricting pain in Matt’s chest at all. Warm tears kept falling down Matt’s face as the weight of losing you slowly settled in his heart.

"She can't–can't leave though," Matt croaked out, voice breaking as he shook his head. "She can't leave us–she can't leave me ."

Foggy rose slowly from his chair, crossing the space between the pair of them before wrapping Matt in a hug. Without hesitation Matt clung to his friend as a sob fell out of him, his face contorted in pain.

"She can't leave," Matt choked out. “She can’t , Fog.”

"I know, Matt," Foggy said, emotion thick in his voice. "I don't want her to go either."

"I lose everyone," Matt whispered. He clutched at Foggy’s dress shirt, entirely uncaring of who was watching the scene in Josie’s as he sobbed on his friend’s shoulder. "I can't lose her, too. I can't. I–I love her, Foggy. I love her."

"I’m sorry, Matt," Foggy replied, crying along with him. "But I don't know if there's anything either of us can do now."

[END NOTES]

More end notes this time because I often feel like this series needs it.

Matt now finally knows that Reader is not in love with Foggy! It only took YEARS for him to realize that--and it's only because Reader blurted it out in her anger at Matt having stupid thoughts about marrying someone who didn't even know all of him. Clearly he was clinging to Erica because he didn't think he could ever have Reader and he was trying to latch onto someone who made him feel good in the moment. Matt now also knows that Reader is leaving New York in just a matter of days, too. But, despite Matt now knowing the truth, Reader still has absolutely no idea that Matt has feelings for her. So what happens next? Does Matt chase after her and she stays? Does he miss her and she leaves? Something else? You'll have to wait for the next installment to find out...

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock #daredevil

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months

Text

Carpe Noctem 27

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, gaslighting, manipulation, violence, blood, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

Pain puts you to sleep despite your piquing anxiety. You doze until your alarm wakes you. The pin in your neck has dulled enough to move, carefully. You dress in the dark, a turtleneck and your most broken-in jeans. You sit for a while and contemplate the day ahead of you, bracing your mind and body.

You get up and toss your things in your purse, keys, phone, whathaveyou. You'll have coffee at work, may as well get it while you're there. You creep through the large house without turning on any lights, stopping by the door to wiggle into your boots and lifting your jacket from the hook. Lloyd likes to sleep in but you won't chance an early morning encounter.

You go out into the brisk autumn air and toss your purse and coat into the passenger seat as you drop into the driver's side. You adjust the backrest and see the shuddered lights from the second floor. You don't notice any movement or shadows on the other side.

You reverse out and drive without urgency. You'll be well on time, you would just rather be out of that house. You roll the steering wheel with your thumb as you yawn. A glare of headlights flashes in the rearview but don't make the light behind you. They fade as you cruise along, street by street, until you get to the cafe. You park by a meter and use the app to pay for the day.

Cole greets you, approaching at the same time as you. You stand back and wait for him to unlock the door. He holds it for you and follows you inside.

"You okay?" He asks as he turns the latch back into place, "you're quiet."

"Late night," you resist shrugging, not wanting to trigger that tedious nerve.

"Tell me about it," he scoffs as you take out the till to balance and he goes about checking the machines. "Ma has this mouse that won't leave her pantry alone. I spent hours trying to catch the thing. She doesn't wanna kill it so..."

"Aw, that's kinda cute, and so nice of you."

"Yeah, dad won't go along with it. He says if he sees the thing, he'll be sure to stomp it," he clucks his tongue, "I don't even know what to do with it if I do catch it."

"Hmm, yeah, I wouldn't know," you hum as you break a roll of dimes.

"Anyways, work, I got everything expensed out. Do you want reimbursement on your first pay or I can cut you a check today?" He offers as he comes to stand beside you.

"Oh, well, it's whatever. I can wait until payday if it's easier."

He nods and smiles at you, fingers tapping on the counter as he watches you. He's close. Very close. You can smell his pine cologne and vague scent of sawdust. "You say I'm nice? I don't think I've met someone like you in... well, ever. You make everything so easy."

"Uh, really?" You utter skeptically. You'd argue the opposite, everything in your life seems too complicated.

"Yeah, you're so giving. You know, I can tell you take care of everyone else before yourself. It's amazing but not good for you. If you need a day off..."

"No, no, don't worry about me," you open the drawer on the register and shove the till inside, "really, I can manage. I'm used to twenty kids running circles around me."

"Ah, yeah, how was that? You must like kids. Or... did you quit? Was it too much?"

His curiosity bristles on your scalp. He's just being nice and yet, it's a bit too much. Or maybe you're just overwhelmed by everything else. He might be right, you might need a day. But time off means more time in Lloyd's domain.

"No, I loved it. Every day was so fun and you see the kids learning and growing and they just, there's never a problem bigger than a toy they don't want to share, you know?" You can't help but smile, "they called me mimi..." the word dangles, slightly tainted as you hear Lloyd in your head, "and they always wanted hugs."

"Wow, sure beats steaming milk 'til you're red in the face," he drawls, "I wanna be selfish and beg you not to leave us but seems like you loved it."

"Yeah, well, I'll see if I get any calls," you swallow and turn to check the opening list laminated and hung behind the baked goods display.

A knock hammers at the door and startles you both. You look at Cole as he furrows his brow back at you. He tilts his head.

"Peter's closing today..." he utters.

You glance at the door and see a man you don't recognise on the other side. Cole shows his palm, gesturing you to stay as he squeezes past you and goes around the other side of the counter. He crosses to the door and taps his watch at the man.

"We're closed, got half an hour--"

The impatient customer keeps his jaw set and reaches under his dark jacket. He pulls something out and slaps it against the glass. Cole growls and puts his head back. He turns his hands out helplessly and unlocks the door. You spy the man's golden badge as he steps in without a word.

"What's going on?" Cole steps back, hooking his thumbs in his jeans.

"Break-in up the street," the man says, "we're just checking things out..."

"Oh? A break-in?" Cole gulps.

"Really?" You murmur.

The man looks at you, his blue eyes glinting. He nods and faces Cole again, "Detective Fowler."

Cole juts out his chin in thought before he replies, "a detective? Isn't that a bit much for a break-in?"

"Some details can't be divulged," Fowler insists.

"Of course," Cole agrees, "we only just got here like ten minutes ago and we haven't seen anything."

The detective nods as he paces around, considering every inch, soles scuffing across the floor. He nears the counter across from you and looks you up and down. His cheek dimples just slightly.

"Do I know you?" He asks. Your brows pop up and you sputter. No, you don't.

He hums and pokes his tongue inside his cheek, "wait," he snaps his finger, "you know Johnny Storm. Young guy on the beat."

"Um," you look away, "yeah, he's my ex."

"Ah shit, sorry, I didn't know. Don't know the kid much but run into him time to time," he slides his hand into his pocket, "well, guess you two wouldn't know much. If you do see anything..." He slips a card out of his pocket and holds it out to you, "you can call me."

He backs up and turns on his heel. He nods to Cole as he struts back to the door, opening it himself as he leaves you both in nervous silence. Cole grumbles and crosses his arms. You look at him as he scowls.

"Seemed real interested in you," he intones, "I didn't know your ex was a cop."

You wet your dry lips with the tip of your tongue and exhale, "yeah, well, he's my ex for a reason. I've moved on." You return your attention to the list, "so let's do the same and get back to work.”

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #carpe noctem #series #drabble #au #the club #the gray man #ghosted #cole turner

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atinylittlepain · 1 year

Note

I got love in my tummy and a tiny little pain

Vampire Joel 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️

uh, hehe, well, this is 500 words... x2 :))))

got a little carried away, my love

Little Pinch

vamp!joel miller x f!reader

warnings | 18+ DUBCON/NONCON-ish, horror themes, smut-adjacent, dark!joel, if this ain't your thing keep it moving

...................................

“Thank you again for giving me a ride, really, I could’ve just called an Uber.”

“It’s no problem, honey. Sweet thing like you shouldn’t be running around on her own at this time of night anyways. Never know what kinda trouble might be out there.” The slow drawl of his words eases any tension she feels sitting in the complete stranger’s car. Well, not a complete stranger. She knows his name is Joel, and she knows that he saved her from a very insistent frat guy at the bar she was at, offering her a ride after her friends had ditched her. And she knows that he’s distractingly handsome, strong jaw under salt-and-pepper scruff, dark eyes and wavy hair, and a voice that runs straight down her spine, each word syrupy with his southern twang.

“How old are you?” The question leaves her lips before she can really think about it, immediately mortified that she did, though Joel just chuckles, glancing at her before focusing back on the road.

“Old enough to know how to treat a lady right. That boy didn’t hurt you, did he, honey?” A nervous laugh bubbles up from her throat at his words.

“Oh! N-no, he was just getting a little handsy, that’s all. I’m fine, really. Um, Joel? I don’t think we’re going the right way to my apartment.” If he heard what she said, he gives her no sign of it, keeping his eyes on the road, the glare of headlights casting shadows across his face.

They drive in silence for a bit longer, nerves running cool skitters across her skin, both urging her to bolt and keeping her stuck still and mute in the passenger seat. But she nearly yelps when he suddenly swings a hard turn into what looks like an empty parking lot, what had been a roller rink sitting dark and crumbling in the distance. He puts the car into park with a sigh before resting both his hands back on the steering wheel, knuckles flexing and tensing, still not looking at her.

“J-Joel? Is something wrong?” When he does finally look at her, his head lolling over on his shoulder, something has changed in his face. Where his eyes had been crinkled with a smile, they’re now dark, almost vacant, his cheeks slack and his mouth in a slight frown, lips parted. And though he still doesn’t say anything, she’s seen enough true crime TV to know that she needs to get the hell out of here now.

“Where you going, honey?” She claws at the lock on the passenger door, but it won’t budge, panic rising cold and clear in her throat.

“I– Joel, please open the door.” “Can’t do that, honey.”

“Please, I want to leave– I-I don’t want you to drive me anymore, please open the door.” She can feel tears starting to slip down her face and his emotionless stare only makes her cry harder, trying to get as far away from him as he leans over the console, crowding her against the door.

“Now why would you wanna do a thing like that? Don’t you know there’s dangerous people out there? So much safer in here with me, honey.” Yeah fucking right. She’s realizing that the worst thing she can do is piss him off, already noting the tick in his jaw and clench of his fist, and she thinks that maybe if she can keep him calm, get his guard down, she can find a moment to snatch his keys and escape. She takes a shuddering inhale, trying to stifle her tears, a thin, fake smile stretching across her lips.

“O-ok, you’re right. T-thank you for keeping me safe.” She can see the clench of his jaw ease slightly and much to her relief, he sits back in his own seat, keeping his eyes on her.

“Why don’t you come over here and thank me, honey?” Her stomach sinks at that, though she tries to tamp it down, knowing that this could be her opportunity to make a grab for the car keys. She nods, trembling fingers undoing her seatbelt. It feels like she’s watching herself from somewhere just over her shoulder as she crawls over the console, trying not to flinch when Joel’s hands wrap around her waist, guiding her to straddle his lap.

She gasps when he presses her down over the crotch of his jeans, the obvious hardness there making her shudder as he chuckles at her reaction.

“How about a little kiss, honey?” She obliges him before she can think too hard about it, a quick peck before she pulls away. But judging by the laugh he lets out, it isn’t going to be enough for him.

“Oh, c’mon now. You can do better than that. That ain’t how you kiss them college boys, is it?” The idea is already forming in her head, and she tries for a shy giggle, though it comes out a bit breathless. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him in, licking into his mouth, kissing him for all he’s worth as she lets one arm pull away to reach behind them, fumbling blindly for his car keys.

When she does grab them, she sighs, though Joel takes that as a good sign, only deepening the kiss more. She just needs to wait for a moment that he pulls away, and she knows she can make a run for it. But before that can happen, she feels something sharp slip across her lower lip, blood going metallic in her mouth as she pulls back from him and brings her other hand to her lips. Sure enough, red stains her fingertips.

“What– what was that?” Joel just grins, his other hand reaching around her back to wrench her wrist around, the harsh squeeze of his fingers making her drop the keys into his open palm.

“Sneaky little thing, ain’t ya? That’s alright, honey. I don’t mind a little sour with the sweet.” Her eyes must be playing tricks on her, because if she didn’t know any better she could swear that his pair of canines glint just a bit sharper in the dim light of the moon. She stills in his hold, unsure what to do now, her stomach twisting when he presses a surprisingly sweet kiss to her throat. But when he drags his teeth over the arc of her neck, she finally realizes that her eyes hadn’t been playing tricks on her.

“Hold still for me, honey. Just gonna feel a little pinch, but I think you’ll like it.”

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #tlou #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller angst #the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #joel miller au #dark joel miller

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nhasablogg · 4 months

Text

Dungeons and tickles

Fandom: Stranger Things

Characters: Lucas/Max, Eleven, Will, Dustin, Mike

Summary: Lucas is slightly too stressed and so his friends decide he needs a distraction.

A/N: Commission for anon! I hope you like it!

Words: 2.5k

None of them really thought Lucas was cheating, because how the hell was he even supposed to do that? Buying weighted dice in Hawkins of all places was a near impossibility, and Lucas just wasn’t a good enough liar to be lying about his hit points. Besides, it made no sense to cheat in Dungeons and Dragons, a game which relied on player choices, dice rolls and the interpretation of a world through the eyes of one single creator. Not to mention Lucas’ evident respect for the game. It was simply absurd.

But it was just way too much fun to pretend that Lucas was cheating, as that agitated him more. He’d been a bit of a pain in the ass recently, tryouts for the basketball team keeping him jumpy and snappy, only for him to turn around and apologize immediately after. Still, the constant mood swings weren’t canceled out by the apologies, even though they all appreciated them. Roping him into the game, while Max and El sat on the sidelines and watched, had been hard to begin with, but his mind seemed to be wandering anyway, and so they knew he needed a proper distraction to get him out of his funk. What better way than to mess with him a bit?

“I’m not cheating,” he said for the tenth time, throwing up his hands as Dustin pointed at him and doing a good job of not bursting into laughter through his fake accusation.

“You are,” he shot back. “Tell me how you’re doing well when you’re obviously not all here.”

“Maybe I’m just that good.”

“Oh, please.”

Lucas raised his eyebrows in a way that was dangerous. “Do you have something you wanna say?”

Dustin grinned innocently at him. “No, nothing at all.”

“We can all see that you’re cheating though,” Will said, and Lucas sighed loudly.

“Not you too,” he said, rubbing at his temples. “I’m too tired for this. I give in. I’m going home.”

“Oh, come on,” Max said, grabbing his hand before he could stand up. “Don’t go. We’re having fun, right?”

“I’m being accused of cheating. That’s not fun at all.”

“So stop cheating.” Mike’s words made Lucas turn to him, annoyance evident across his face. “It’s as simple as that.”

“You know damn well I’m not a cheater.”

“Do I?”

Lucas gritted his teeth. “I’m leaving.”

Max’s grip on his hand suddenly tightened. “No.”

Everything was a blur after that; voices mixing and limbs tangling, until Lucas found himself pinned to the floor by them all, with Max most prominently straddling his waist.

“What are you doing?” he asked, suddenly aware that maybe all the accusing fingers were simply there to mess with him. He felt his annoyance melt away, being replaced by nerves instead. From the prospect of this, with Max on his waist, Will and Dusting holding his hands and Mike sitting on his legs, his body was left slightly too exposed for his liking. Eleven, who’d been quiet throughout it all, was sitting beside Max, smiling at him in a way that made him all the more nervous.

“We’re getting you back for cheating,” Max said, quickly dropping her facade. “And helping you get rid of all that excess energy you always have when you’re nervous about something.”

Lucas pulled weakly at his arms. “You can help me in other ways, you know. I don’t remember deserving whatever you’re about to do.”

“Uh, remember being rude to me at lunch today?” Dustin said.

Lucas rolled his eyes. “I said I was sorry.”

“Yeah, but you’d been rude the previous period too.”

“I’m going through a lot right now-”

“Oh, we know. This is simply just a bit of revenge.”

Lucas knew deep down what they were about to do, and so he turned toward Max, knowing if anyone would show him mercy it would be her. But Max was looking determined and Lucas realized he was doomed.

“Please don’t,” he said as she pulled up his shirt to expose his belly to the cold air of the basement.

“I’m sorry, but we have to.” She moved over to let El scoot closer beside her, the two of them sharing a look which he couldn’t interpret but which he knew meant trouble. He realized what was about to happen when they both leaned down, their faces coming close to his skin, seeming giddy like children.

Lucas screamed as they started blowing raspberries into his skin on either side of his belly, as if their lives depended on it, over and over, sending ticklish shocks through him. The initial panic merely doubled as Will suddenly started blowing raspberries into his neck as well, just beneath his chin where Lucas couldn’t shield himself. He could feel them laughing into his skin, enjoying this, and one part of him relished in their enjoyment. They’d not been kids for a long time. Maybe having to endure this was worth it just for the laughter.

Mike was going to town on his feet, holding onto his ankles for dear life lest he wanted to get his teeth knocked out. He’d grown taller, stronger over the summer, although Lucas was still stronger and probably always would be. Still, their tickle fights, rare as they were now, were no different from the ones they’d had as kids. Chaotic. Merciless. So much belly laughter they nearly couldn’t breathe. They��d not gotten Will as often as they used to after he’d gone missing and come back, but the few times they had - careful pokes, gentle smiles - had been reminders of childhood. Dusting screaming bloody murder whenever they got him. Mike running away until Lucas tackled him. Lucas having to be pinned by all three of them if they wanted to even attempt to poke him.

But Max had mellowed him out. Max had shown him it was okay to be vulnerable. Max, with her nimble fingers and teasing grin, who was beaming up at him now between raspberries. Max kept him young as the world around them tried to literally kill them. And in turn, Lucas remained gentle despite it all.

Lucas snapped out of his brief daydream (how the hell could he daydream through tickling like this?) when Mike switched spots, latching onto his hips which made them all shuffle around. He protested as they all paused their tickling for a moment, but no one was listening to him. Will simply grabbed his thighs, as if ready to squeeze at any moment, while Dustin wormed his fingers into his armpits, making him squirm from simply the contact. Max remained at his belly while El moved upward to take Will’s old spot at his neck, and suddenly Lucas wondered if he was to survive this. Max still had him straddled, but she was sitting up properly now, gently caressing his stomach as if to calm him. It tickled, but not enough to make him laugh. The only reason he was giggling now to begin with was due to the anticipation. He was pinned. He was exposed. He knew how this would end.

Did he plead? Of course not. He had a, somewhat misguided, ego to think of.

He would, though. Eventually. He knew that too.

The world was still for a moment, and then they all started at the same time, turning him into a momentarily fumbling mess of confusion, not knowing what sensation to react to first, until it all suddenly exploded simultaneously in the form of hysterical laughter. He felt Max’s hands around his belly button, squeezing around it lightly while El was curling her fingers under his chin. Those two things would be enough to have him begging for mercy, only somewhere beneath that he could feel Will squeezing his thighs, kind enough not to be gentle at the very least. He wasn’t sure if he could handle gentle scratching on his legs right now, not when Dustin was succeeding more and more in prying his arms up so that he could tickle his armpits more properly. Behind Max, somehow fitting between her and Will, Mike was still latched onto his hips, squeezing them in all his might. It was a miracle Lucas hadn’t bucked Max off in his struggle to escape, but later, when he’d been granted his much needed mercy, he would realize she probably wasn’t the only one pinning him down.

He could picture it. El and Will and Max taking turns holding his flailing arms, while Will held his legs down so that Mike could reach his spot. Or maybe it was Mike who was holding him down so that Will could tickle his thighs? Lucas didn’t know. Lucas couldn’t know from where he was lying, on his back on the floor, eyes squeezed shut as he laughed and laughed. He felt another raspberry on his belly, just beneath his navel, and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Max. A raspberry to his neck told him that Eleven was following suit, not necessarily a follower as much as being unsure of what was allowed. He was glad that, in the midst of it all, none of the others started blowing raspberries on other body parts. That would’ve been crossing several lines.

“Aha!” Dustin’s exclaim was heard through his laughter, but was mostly just noise to him now, busy as he was. He could tell his shout of triumph came from Dustin finally pinning one of his arms to the side, not fully above his head but enough so that he could wiggle his fingers in the hollow of his arm with no problem, making Lucas’ focus shift to him for a moment. It was probably the worst of it; how he couldn’t focus on one torture at a time, but was bouncing between them. One moment he was with Will, who was still squeezing his thighs as if his life depended on it, moving between spots at the speed of light. The next he was with Mike, who was tickling his hips at the same spot over and over, slowly driving him insane. Before he could notice anything else about it - if he was being gentle or not, how the hell could Lucas tell like this? - he was with Max again, who wasn’t blowing raspberries anymore but was instead circling a finger around his belly button, getting ready to dive in. Lucas would’ve asked her not to, would’ve screamed and pleaded and begged, had El not switched tactics in a drastic enough way that he noticed, transferring his ever moving focus to her.

“No!” he cried, possibly his first coherent word since this started. But El didn’t listen, because how could she even tell he was speaking to her? She simply tickled both sides of his neck at the same time, just below his ears, making it impossible for him to scrunch up for defense. And maybe that would’ve been his demise had Dustin not found the spot that connected his upper ribs to his armpit…

He didn’t know how he did it, only that Max was suddenly flying off of him and his foot had accidentally knocked into the side of Mike’s head, and maybe the sight would have been funny had he been in any other position. The momentary relief simply made for a worse continuation, when he’d tasted the lovely taste of a non-ticklish existence.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he said when Max started poking him, although not straddling him again.

“You did that on purpose,” she was saying, laughing along with him.

“Where did you get your strength from anyway?” Mike asked, holding his head. “Maybe you should audition for the wrestling club or something instead.”

“Mike, they’re not called auditions.”

“You know what I meant.”

Their game of DnD was forgotten, as were the accusations of Lucas cheating. The tickling was turning into a tickle fight rather than pure torture, but Lucas was drained and had a hard time putting up a fight, and so it wasn’t hard for Mike to grab his feet again or for Max to claw at the back of his ribs when he tried to roll away. The other three stayed back this time, except for the brief poke Dustin aimed at his ribs when Lucas rolled closer to him.

“Please, mercy, oh my god-”

“You think he’s had enough?” Will asked.

“He can take a bit more, can’t you, Lucas?” Lucas managed to catch the moment Max’s face softened as she grinned down at him, maybe realizing he wasn’t able to handle much more. “But maybe we should round it off. Does anyone want one last tickle before we let him go?”

“How about another raspberry?” El said, and Lucas could only close his eyes and lie there and take it as she, Max and somewhat surprisingly Will blew raspberries on his belly for another moment. It wasn’t as bad as the rest, but being all tickled out it was enough to send ticklish shocks through his body, although he did little to stop them.

“I knew you were still ticklish,” Dustin said when they’d helped him up again, hands rough against his skin to help rub out the residual tickles that they knew lingered on him.

“Did I ever say otherwise?” Lucas didn’t have the energy to sound annoyed.

“No, but it’s been a while since we tickled you.”

“You just tickled me enough to not have to do it again for the next ten years.”

“Or maybe we just caught up on what we’d missed.”

Dustin nudged him in the ribs and Lucas could only groan. “I’m so getting you back. I know how bad your belly is.”

“Big words from someone who was just begging for mercy.”

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about your knees, Wheeler. You all better watch your backs.”

They all laughed, knowing full well he wasn’t kidding.

“Are you okay?” Max asked him later, the two of them curled up on the couch when they probably should’ve gone home ages ago. “Did we go overboard?”

“Yes to both.” Lucas softened, like he always did when he could smell sleep on her. “But it’s okay. I guess I deserved it.”

“That you did.” She ran a finger over his lower ribs, not tickling him necessarily but also not staying clear off his sensitive spots. He shivered, for various reasons. “And needed it.”

He felt himself flush. “I guess.”

“You guess, huh.” She grinned and he squeezed her tighter to him.

“Don’t get cocky. I can totally get you back.”

“But you won’t.”

“Not here, no.” He kissed her temple. “But you better be very very nice to me later when we’re alone.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Of course you are.” A pause, and, “I know none of you believed I was cheating.”

Max snorted. “Of course we didn’t.”

“That, if anything, deserves its own revenge, don’t you think?”

He heard Max gulp. Revenge would be oh so sweet. If he needed tickles, he needed to hear her laughter so much more.

#tickling #tickle fic #ticklish!lucas #stranger things #stranger things fic #n writes #dungeons and tickles

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irondiotallica · 7 days

Text

Flare Up

I went a little ham with this one. Couldn't stop writing it seems, but here is a new blurb. It's def a little clunkier than the other one, but I like the idea of Steve becoming a physical therapist after everything and offering his services to the cute metalhead he's had a crush on since the upside down. Idk. Oh and fun fact, Times Square used to be the porn capital before the 1990s when Mayor Rudolph Giuliani shut it down to clean up the city. Anyway, enjoy the blurb! -Silas

[Steddie]

Eddie’s hip furiously blazed with a flash of stabbing pain. His joints had been bothering him underneath the scars left by the bats and their fucked up little teeth. The scarred flesh on his left hip was uncomfortably tight, pulled taut over his muscles and bones.

The damaged skin constricted his right shoulder, as though the skin would burst into a bleeding fissure with the tiny struggling breaths that Eddie was pushing through in labored waves. He was moments away from caving and taking a dosage of pills despite having agreed to take them less.

He felt as though his insides weren’t aware that he had been kept alive. It felt like his nerves had continued to decay turning into soaked cotton doused in kerosene with one little spark of discomfort able to render him incapacitated.

Eddie shuffled to his phone with dread flooding through his system like an unprepared county during monsoon season. He knew that he had to call, but he was reluctant to do so. Even if he had been told it was no trouble, he knew it was more than it was worth.

He fidgeted, clenching his fingers around the coiled cord that connected the phone to the receiver. He dialed the numbers still imprinted in his brain from the day they had been hastily scribbled with a wolfish grin and intoxicating charm. The phone rang once, twice, three times, and Eddie began to put the phone back in its cradle when he heard a warm voice call out.

“Hello! This is Hawkins Physio Clinic, Dr. Harrington’s office. How may I help you?”

Eddie felt his face flush at the rush that hearing Steve’s voice gave him.

“Um H-hi,” Eddie coughed as he tried to clear the nervous lump from his throat,” Hey Steve.”

His words came out weak and nervous to his ears, he couldn’t imagine how it sounded to Steve.

Eddie could practically hear the grin that Steve was wearing through the phone.

“What can I do for you Eds,” Steve huffed out behind quiet chuckles.

Eddie tried to think before he spoke, but the words were flashing like the overwhelming neon signs that covered the porn capital of seemingly the world, Times Square. He continued to stumble through his words.

“Well, you said, uh,” his words were stubbornly refusing to come out of his mouth, thick with nerves,” you said if my joints were giving trouble, to call you.”

Eddie was not used to this. Asking for help was difficult and normally he wouldn’t ask, letting the issue fester, but he was dying. The pain was consistent and recurring. Somedays were good, but for the last week, he had mainly bad days filled with tears and laying on the floor praying for the pain to pass.

“I did say that. Are you finally taking me up on my offer? I’ve been told that I’ve got the magic touch.”

God, the cocky assurance in his voice was enough to make Eddie stand at attention in more ways than one, but another jolt of agony quickly snubbed that thought out.

“Fuck.”

It slipped past his lips before he could stop himself. His free hand gripped his thigh as he slid himself down to the ground waiting for the pain to pass. His breath was coming out short and a little frantic.

“Eddie, are you okay?”

Steve’s voice was warm and sweet like heated milk before bed as the cockiness dissipated, replaced with concern. Eddie wanted to answer, but the pain was crashing in waves and drowning him mercilessly. Still, he tries to answer.

“Ye-,” Eddie takes a deep breath in, feeling a few tears slip past his bottom eyelid,” Yeah, Steve. My nerves are just-”

Eddie breathes in again. He can’t stop the slew of pants leaving his lungs.

“-misfiring. Just misfiring or whatever the fuck the doctor said,” he finally choked out, his voice tense and seizing with stress.

“I’ll be right there, okay? Just stay put.”

Eddie laughs at that although it comes out weak and soft.

“Where am I gonna go?”

“Oh shut up, you dork. You know what I mean.”

Eddie laughs a bit more before a groan leaves his lips at another jolt. He hears the click of disconnection and puts the phone down on the floor before laying on the tiles hoping for the chilly ceramic to ease the continuous, seizing torture.

Eddie is still on the floor when a series of knocks echoes around him. Three rapid ones followed by four spaced out. Steve was here.

“It’s open,” Eddie calls out as he strains with tension.

Steve steps in and immediately heads to Eddie with graceful movements. Eddie looks at him through slitted eyes. Steve reaches down, pulling Eddie close, and murmuring sweet words to him. You’re so good, doing amazing, such a strong guy, so strong for me; flowing past his plush lips into Eddie’s ears.

A warm, secure, big hand grips Eddie’s hip as the palm presses down and drags his hip, resulting in a quick crack and Eddie feeling his joint loosen. Eddie pushed his face into Steve’s shoulder letting those hands massage his hip and the muscles surrounding it.

God, Steve did have the magic touch, Eddie thought to himself with each warm bout of pressure.

He let a sigh slip as those hands deviated to pop his shoulder before massaging the sore blades. He felt good, floaty in Steve’s care.

“There we go. Good job Eds. Always so good for me.”

Eddie feels his cheeks glow red as he tries not to think of the implications of those words. Eddie stays wrapped in Steve’s arms, comfortable.

“Thank you,” he stutters out with relief weighing his voice down.

Steve grins down at him with something akin to infatuation glimmering brightly in his gaze. Eddie couldn’t help but stare unabashedly at the pretty picture that Steve Harrington made. His warm brown eyes brimming with life. His little moles that were perfectly placed on his face as though planned. Those stupidly perfect, stupidly white teeth that Eddie had thought only possible in movies. Who could forget the hair? That stupidly styled mop of gorgeous mousy brown hair. Steve was stunning in Eddie’s eyes.

“If you really want to thank me, you could let me take you out this Saturday; see that new sequel to Alien?”

“You have the worst timing for things. Robin was right, you are a dingus,” Eddie teased, laughing at the way Steve looked away with a blush that went as far as the tips of his ears.

“Shut up,” he grumbled out, squeezing Eddie just a little tighter.

After Steve had finally collected himself, he looked at Eddie questioningly,” So? Are you letting me take you out?”

Eddie nodded with a grin, boyish and wide.

Steve responded with a match grin and confirmation.

“It’s a date.”

#steve x eddie #steddie #eddie munson #stranger things #blurb #eddie x steve #steve harrington #fluff

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aerifio · 6 months

Text

sugarmommy!minnie ACKKK 🗣🗣 I WOULD FR FOLD ON THAT DINNER TABLE SO FAST—

omg. omg. omg. do you guys see her?!*#&×>@*×[ she's so cute n hot at the same time HOW IS THAT POSSIBLEEEE

okay, time to elaborate ‼️ sugarmommy minnie who spoils you just like how she spoils shuhua 🤭 she'd make a degrading comment knowing well she'd pay for anything you ask for anyways!

a hand is on your waist ALL THE TIME! keeping you safe and secure with her, being as close as you can with her during walking, standing or even just sitting, she wants the whole world to know that the two of you are together.

SHE LOVESSS TAKING PICTURES OF YOU in fact, she has about 3 albums in her phone that contain pictures of you and you only! she loves you so much to the point that she'd go crazy when you guys are apart for atleast a day unless she needs to go attend a business trip where unfortunately she can't take you with her :(( SHE GETS SO SAD and probably facetimes you whenever she can, telling you she'd come home as soon as possible.

now for the good part 😋

she absolutely HATES when you act up in public or in private, she just hates it when you act up in general because why'd you have to be such a brat!! she spoils you and everything but you just HAVE to be a brat 😩 she hates it especially when you embarrass her in front of her friends 🫠

she definitely spanks you once you've misbehaved enough for the day, getting on her nerves so she slaps your ass with those big hands of hers, making you count how many times she's spanked you so far and restarting all over again once you got it wrong making you whine about how much you just want her to fuck you!!

"what was that? oh so you embarassed me infront of my friends today just for me to fuck you?"

"yeah no, lets increase it up to 30."

UGSHHSTSY that dreamy voice of hers I LOVE HER SO MUCH. anw, she wouldn't stop even if you're tearing up or even if your ass feels numb to the point that you can barely tell if she's still spanking you, nuh uh, she won't stop till you've counted right.

NOW HEAR ME OUT ‼️ she definitely loves choking you, seeing you out of breath, begging for air turns something on inside of her getting her all riled up and want you to suffer even more.

"stop? you can tell me to stop but not stop miyeon who was obviously flirting with you at the restaurant earlier?"

"tell me, do you like the attention you get from miyeon? embarassing me infront of her and then proceed to flirt with her?"

"you must be one hell of a slut y/n."

omg about that UHM she gets jealous easily! she sees everyone as a potential rival that could possibly steal you away from her but she also doesn't forget to punish YOU for giving her those thoughts.

you're just so clingy and touchy with everyone! not to mention, oblivious too especially when someone is interested in you, it takes a while for you to even realise it. but then of course, minnie still blames and punish you, why? because she thinks you being naturally clingy is your way of entertaining people.

so what does she do? degrade you 🙂

"what now huh? you whiny slut, begging me to fuck you when you were all touchy with miyeon, should be begging her instead of me, you filthy whore."

now those words just turn you on 🫣 you feel more horny than humiliated tbh! and she fr knows that, loving how you get even more and more desperate when she degrades you!

after a while, she decides to just shove her fingers inside you with no warning, she just shoves 3 fingers inside you out of nowhere making you scream at the sudden stretch. NOW I MENTIONED HER BIG HANDS EARLIER RITEE so she definitely reaches spots inside of you that you didn't know could be even reached just by using fingers 🤧

"no panties underneath that skimpy dress of yours?"

"now you're just asking to be violated."

she whispers with that addicting honey-like voice of hers while she harshly thrusts her fingers inside of you, your moans and whines overtake the room, you couldn't handle the pain and pleasure mixed together despite begging for it for an hour now.

"why are you telling me to slow down? is this not what you wanted?"

UGHSHAGUWGHS SHES SO ANNOYING! but of course you couldn't tell her that, she'd probably edge you if you told her that 🫠

hours pass, you've squirted on her fingers alot of times now. tears ran down your eyes due to the overstimulation while she just smears your juices on your face, even shoving her long fingers inside your mouth just for you to taste your own sweet honey.

its surprising how she didn't use her strap, she always uses it but it seems like today she wanted to show you what she was capable of.

anyways, of course she takes care of you right after. wiping your tears and cuddling you on the bed as if she wasn't all harsh earlier, she kisses your forehead and whispers sweet nothings right by your ear, giving you the best assurance you could ever ask for all while stroking your messed up hair.

"shh, calm down now love, play time is over."

#minnie smut #gidle smut #minnie x reader #girl group smut

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the-courtsjester · 2 months

Note

Hey jester! Can I make a request for a March 7th confessing to a male reader who secretly likes her back?

Greetings Ladies gentlemen and uh... things, when I was originally making this ask I forgot to save it as a draft so it deleted itself and I'm in pain, anyway some other stories I'm making are being blocked do to lack of knowledge on doing dialog, so this will be good practice.

March 7th x male reader

Back when March 7th first arrived on the Express from being saved from the cold emptiness of space, she was very awkward not knowing how to express her feelings took her a long figure out that they were in fact in love with you, so she turned to someone she knew could help her.

March 7th: "Himeko! I need help with something"

Himeko: "hmm? What is it March"

March 7th: "(Y/N) makes me feel funny"

Himeko: "what?"

After March explained what she actually ment Himeko told her to "just go for it". you see Himeko knows a lot of stuff and she seems like the type to know everything, and she most definitely manged to find out you had a secret crush on March.

Himeko: "March believe me just take the chance, you'll regret it if you don't"

March 7th: "but what if he doesn't like me and it ruins our friendship?"

After a lot of doubts and convincing Himeko got March to go to your room on the Express and knock on your door, she felt her heart pounding in her chest and without looking in the mirror she could tell she was blushing madly, but when you opened the door she steeled her nerves and took the leap of faith.

(Y/N): "oh hey March, what'd you need?"

March 7th: "(Y/N) I have something really important to tell you"

(Y/N): "oh what is it?"

It took her a couple seconds to come out with it but but when she did she couldn't keep it in her normal talking voice

March 7th: "I-I love you!"

She stopped herself there not wanting to spill more out and further embarrassing herself but you were stunned staring at her before breaking into a smile

(Y/N): "I love you too March I have for awhile now, I'm relived to hear you feel the same"

Upon hearing what you said to her she couldn't hold herself back anymore, she hugged you suddenly and nuzzled her head into your chest, not planning to leg go anytime soon you could only respond by gently hugging her.

Once news broke out about your new relationship together Himeko found you two adorable when you did stuff together, Mr. Yang was happy for you two, and same for Dan Heng though he was not to happy to learn he was going to listen to you drone on about how amazing March is.

Well I hope this was good I feel like it was shitty, though speaking of March 7th she actually helped me clear the Simulated Universe, now I can reliably do the higher level SU worlds to get 5 star relics thank god, but I'll see you all whenever I post next.

And scene...

#march 7th #honkai star rail #x male reader #march 7th x reader

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jungle-angel · 1 year

Text

The Weaving Woman (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: Bob’s grandma is an integral part of the family and you wouldn’t have it any other way

Bob’s feet clunked down the stairs, still in his heavy boots and his hands running over his face. He was completely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to relax for just a little while before heading to bed.

“What Bob? Did ya’ll forget something?” chuckled a familiar voice with an equally familiar Midwestern drawl.

“Forgot what planet I landed on when the UFO dropped me off, Meemaw,” Bob yawned, flopping onto the couch.

“Bullshit,” Marty chuckled as she made another stitch in her little knitting project. “Last time I spotted a UFO was when your grandfather came back from Korea.”

Bob groaned, running his hands over his gummy eyes once again.

“What’s with you anyways?” Marty asked him. “Ya’ll have been like this for the last three weeks.”

“It’s everything Meemaw,” Bob answered. “(Y/n)’s on bedrest until the baby comes, Auggie and Patrick are all over the place and Dad’s on bedrest for the next six months until his knee heals.”

Marty nodded knowingly, but hardly saying a word. “Getting under your skin is it?”

Bob nodded.

“Sweetheart, I understand,” Marty told him. “Your grandfather and I have been married sixty years and every now and again we still get stressed over the little things.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes,” Marty replied. “When he got called for duty in Korea, we had already had three kids and a fourth on the way. I was stressed about how I’d be able to do this, that and five million other things.”

“How’d you do it?”

“Had a little help from Mrs. Chang and her mother up the road,” Marty told him. “We’d bitch about our husbands being away and everything else in between.”

Bob gave it some more thought. Maybe he didn’t have any right to complain after knowing what his grandparents had gone through. “Now I feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad for complaining Bob,” Marty assured him, the click of her needles. “We all do it. The last four months, your grandfather wouldn’t stop bitching about the nerve pain in his feet and it ended with me telling him to stick a cork in it or he’ll wake up with a peg leg.”

Bob laughed. One wouldn’t know it unless they knew her personally, but Marty had a mouth on her that would’ve put a Navy sailor to shame. “Thanks Meemaw,” he said. “I always feel better after we talk.”

“Oh no worries sweet pea,” she assured him. “I’m always here if you need it.”

Bob sat up and hugged his grandmother before she kissed his cheek. “Oh,” she said before his eyes shot up to hers. “Two things. Number one, this is for (y/n), it’s all done and just needs the seal of approval. Secondly don’t worry about your grandfather, I gave him one of those special brownies your dad had in the container on his nightstand. I’m pretty sure the nerve pain’s been nipped in the bud.”

Bob made a face. “Uh, Meemaw......?”

“Don’t think I don’t know what that is,” she chuckled. “Your grandfather and I lived through the sixties.”

Bob thanked her and went straight upstairs, her handwork in his own hands and feeling loads better.

You sat propped up in bed, reading the book that always sat right on your nightstand. “You good Bob?”

“Yeah,” Bob sighed. “Just a little tired that’s all.”

“Well,” you said. “Lucky for you, the boys are in bed and it’s just us.”

Bob smiled and kissed your lips. “By the way,” he said. “Meemaw finished already. This is for you.”

You gasped when you nearly saw it, a black and white little knit sweater with the little wooden buttons on it and in the corner a little patch in the shape of Jessie from Toy Story.

“Oh Bob it’s beautiful,” you remarked happily.

“She said she couldn’t resist,” Bob told you. “She saw the patch at the craft store and said it’d be perfect for when our little princess comes in two weeks.”

You were happy beyond words and near to tears at the sight of the little sweater. Already Marty had made several blankets, little hats, socks and even a pair of mittens for your daughter who hadn’t yet entered the world, all of them made from soft yarn and wool, each emblazoned with bunnies, horses or even little Peter Rabbit patches, just as she had done for Auggie and Patrick.

You and Bob kissed again, deeply and lovingly before you laid on your back and he began placing kisses on your large bump. “Hi princess,” he cooed, feeling her tiny little feet kicking from within. “We’re waiting for you. So isn’t great-grandma.”

You couldn’t wait. Soon there would be a little girl in the family that everyone would be overjoyed to meet and who would be the most loved little girl you had ever met.

#top gun maverick #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #dagger squad #dagger squad short fics

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nwjn-z · 10 months

Text

candy hearts [smau]

[09]

You close your phone just as the bells ring. You take a deep breathe before making your way up to Kyle,

“Hey” you say with a smile in attempt to conceal your nerves.

“Oh hey! Follow me I’ll show you were my car is.” he says returning your smile while you follow him out of class.

“Thanks again for helping me with my notes I really appreciate it”

“No problem it’s my pleasure”, his words make you feel a heat rise to your face but you pretend not to notice.

“So uh I heard your going to my friends party? Stan’s that is.” Kyle states,

“Oh yeah, I don’t usually go to things like that but I want to be there for my friend so…”, you trail off feeling more nervous than usual, was it always this hot?

“That’s nice, and plus it’s a good way to get familiar with everyone.” he says.

“Yeah”

As Kyle leads you to his car you start to feel a lot more nervous than before, the reality of the situation sinking in.

You were about to be driven home by a boy.

When you reach Kyle’s car he opens the passenger door for you

“Thanks.” Is all you’re able to muster before getting inside. Kyle just nods and makes his way to the drivers side.

“Dark Meadows right?” Kyle asks when he gets in the car.

“Y-yeah” you stutter, was this really happening?

“Gotcha” he states.

The drive to your house was quite lengthy considering your neighbourhood is on the other side of town from school.

During the drive you couldn’t help but notice the way Kyle kept looking at you, you’d be a liar if you said it didn’t make you anxious.

“Is he judging me?”

“Do I look weird?”

“Maybe I smell bad! Oh god what am I gonna do?!”

“Hey we’re here.” Kyle’s words snap you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

“Oh uh follow me.” You step out the car and make your way up to your door step. Kyle does as told and follows along.

“Woah nice house” he says in awe of the large abode.

“Thank you” you say in response as you unlock the door and lead him inside.

“Your parents still at work?” He asks

“Oh I live alone my parents are back in my hometown.” You state blankly as if was the most normal thing ever.

“WHAT?! I’m sorry I mean what do mean you live alone, you’re just in high school that’s kinda crazy.” Kyle says, being bewildered by what he’s hearing.

“Yeah well my parents think it will be good for me besides even when I did live with them it always felt like I was living alone anyway with my parents being so busy working and all.” You say matter a factly.

“Wow I’m sorry, if you don’t mind me asking what do your parents do?” He asks

“Both of them are business owners and are often overseas for work.”

“And do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah I have a younger brother and we were close when we were little, since we kinda only had each other, but we’ve drifted apart.” You say feeling sullen over not being as close with your brother.

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what it’s been like for you I mean I wouldn’t know what to do without my parents.” He tells you with the upmost sincerity.

“It’s fine plus it’s nice having my own place and not having my parents tell me what to do or my brother annoying the hell out of me is pretty nice.” you say lightheartedly.

“Tell me about it, you know I have a little brother too and he can be such a pain” Kyle responds with a chuckle.

You can’t help but giggle as well, “But you can’t help still loving him to death”, you say with a warm smile

“Of coarse” he says returning your smile.

You make your way up to your room and pull out your notes and textbooks on your desk while Kyle does the same. You sit down and wait for him to start, stomach fluttering as you watch him roll up his sleeves as he is about to begin.

“What about the notes are you having trouble with?” He asks.

“Im not sure which parts of the passage we are supposed to take notes on, she never specified.” you respond.

“Oh okay let me show you.” He shifts closer to you and start flipping through your book to find the page to show you. You can smell his cologne. It smells nice you think.

“Here it is.” He tells you, face mere inches from yours.

“All of the passage is important really but you only need to write down key sentences from paragraphs one, two, five, and eight.” He explains.

You listen attentively as he guides you on how to determine which parts of each paragraph are the most necessary. You pick up quickly and begin writing.

“Wow you’re a fast learner.” He tells you with a small smirk that makes your face flush with embarrassment.

“Well you’re a good teacher.” You respond innocently not realising how flirtatious your tone was. Now Kyle’s own embarrassment matched yours as he stutters out a thank you.

Kyle’s confidence dwindles as the minutes go by being so close to you. The close proximity of you two has let him further study you in a way he was unable to before that made his heart skip a beat.

He noticed the way you bite your lip when concentrated, how you lean into him when asking a question, and the way you bat your lashes while looking up at him waiting for a response. He became more obsessed by the second.

“Hey what time is it?” Your words snap Kyle out his trance “Oh it’s 6:25… HOLY SHIT ITS 6:25?!” Kyle blurts out, “Oh god I was supposed to be home an hour ago!” he says as he looks at all his mothers missed calls and texts freaking out.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry I kept you here so long!” You say worried it was your fault for him loosing track of time.

“Oh no you’re good it just completely slipped my mind but I do have to get going now…” he says.

“Okay! But before you go thank you so much again for helping me.” You state

“Don’t sweat it you can ask me for help anytime.” He says with a reassuring smile.

You bid your goodbyes until the next day and he makes his way downstairs to head home. But as he heads to the front door he noticed a sparkling orange outfit sprawled out on your couch. “Is that a broncos cheer uniform?” He thinks. After a couple of second he realises what you have the costume for

Stan’s party.

In that moment his face turns beat red thinking about you in the skimpy outfit.

His drive back home was spent with an uncomfortable tightness in his pants.

“Oh god I’m just like Kenny!” Is all Kyle can think for the rest of the day.

masterlist

TAGLIST IS OPEN.

@c1rice , @cyberrmishh , @ja3s3sin4life , @lacunaanonymoused

#🎬 — nwjn z!#south park #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #south park x reader #candy hearts series ☆

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dimancheetoile · 8 days

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uh, hi.

maybe you're seeing this on your dash and thinking "hum, this username is kinda familiar". maybe you do remember me, in which case, again, hi.

i've been gone for an entire year. it hasn't been a great one. for those who read my posts before, you might already know this, but for everyone else, I was born with a rare genetic condition. on top of that, i had a very serious accident at 13 that more or less destroyed my right leg. i haven't been able to walk right since then, and it hasn't been helped by the following years of botched surgeries, complications from the operation, misdiagnosis and medical malpractice. i'm left with a barely functional leg that has a permanently torn set of ligaments, collapsed nerves and debilitating, constant, torturous chronic pain.

then i had a weird relapse of sorts. a bucketful of symptoms. hives and flushing, limbs and joints swelling, rashes, trouble breathing, sudden drops in blood pressure, heart rate above 100 at rest, stomach cramps, nausea, headaches, migraines, chronic fatigue, confusion, memory loss, dizziness and loss of consciousness. it's called MCAS.

i can't describe to you what it's like to never be well. to never wake up in a body that feels right, even just ok. to always have something going wrong, something painful, something that doesn't work right.

i'm hooked up to an oxygen machine twice a day. i wear a compression garment that goes from my ankles up to the tips of my fingers. i have to do two self-injections every month. i live with additional compressive equipment for both my knees, both my ankles, both my wrists, an elbow. i have a machine with electrodes i can put on painful areas to electrocute them and sometimes, it helps with the pain. i have to use pain-relief plasters and poultices a couple times a day.

i have premature arthritis. the arthritis in my back ate all the cartilage of my last three vertebrae (the ones above your tailbones, your lower back) so i'm like a car with no suspensions. my vertebrae are rubbing against each other with nothing in between to protect them, my discs are crushed, i have severe sciatica. chronic light sensitive migraines.

my joints don't hold. since january, I dislocated my left knee leading to a synovium effusion (big pocket of the lube in your joint that gathers and forms a ball and it pushes on your nerves, ligaments, tendons and tissue); i sprained my left ankle and it tore my external ligament and heel ligament. i dislocated a bunch of my fingers multiple times.

oh, i also got diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS.

i live bedridden now. i have an entire grocery bag of medication sitting by my bed so i can reach it easily. opioids, neuropathic pain medication, anti-inflammatory medication, a medication that completely stops my period.

and that's without mentioning the hours and hours of hospital visits, specialists, family doctors, physical therapists, etc.

i'm gonna be honest. same time last year, i was having a hard time. i had turned 25 in january and moved into my first apartment since uni. it's in the same village as my mom which is the only reason i could live independently. so i was just 25 and all the MCAS stuff was happening on top of everything else and i had this realisation that this was what the rest of my life would look like, but worse, because my disease is degenerative. it gets worse as you age.

so i was just 25 and i realised i had the next 50 to suffer through this and more, and suddenly i didn't want to be here anymore. there was no ideation, it was more a complete break down of my hopes for the future. what was my future going to look like in this cursed body?

anyway, i collapsed under the mental pressure, my health continued to worsen. what i used to be able to do was no so much harder, and sometimes impossible. i was a 25-year-old in a prison of their own flesh. i couldn't deal with the rest of the world, so i cut myself off from it.

i'm doing better now, mentally. physically, it's only gotten worse. as i write this, i'm reaching for my pain meds because everything below my right knee is screaming in agony and i have a splitting headache. this is a good day for me.

thank you, if you've read this far. thank you, if you thought about me even once in the past year. i'm not asking for anything, except maybe to talk with you if you have a similar story. i feel so alone in this hell, it'd be nice to talk to someone.

i love you all.

-mako

#mako talks #disability #invisible disability #chronic pain #chronically ill

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espinosaurusrexex · 1 year

Text

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐖𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

twelve - distant dreams (again) final chapter

BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader

summary: It’s finally time for Bucky and Y/N to lay their cards on the table - as a last chance at the future they both deserve.

a/n: This is it, guys! The last chapter of this series. I hope you liked it - thank you so much for sticking around 💗

!Divider is mine. Please give credit when using!

word count: 5k

chapter warnings: a little angst (at the beginning), fluff, soft moments, and finally - a happy ending!

✶ 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ☾

Okay, maybe things weren’t as easy as she had thought. Y/N was pacing the floor of her apartment, phone tightly clutched in her hand and her head feeling hot. Wanda’s speech had assured her that Bucky loved her. And she had been so determined to approach him after. Where was all that confidence now? All Y/n could think about was the look on his face before she left Westview. The pain in her slowly sinking heart and the shivers of panic rushing through her. There was no way she could have stayed after. She was convinced it had all crumbled to the ground with Westview.

Right now, however? It was infuriating. Because she wanted to call - she really did. Her finger had been hovering over the little telephone icon at least seven times by now, but there was still this horrid fear of rejection keeping her from the last move. It might have been stupid. But even if Y/N had been convinced that things were over once she left New Jersey, it still wasn’t done. Hearing it from Bucky, however, would officially close the case, and Y/N didn’t want that. But then again: it could lead to the outcome she had not been thinking of for most of her time. Bucky could actually like her. He could want a relationship with her. Why was this so hard to grasp after literally having had it before? Well, because it had still been pretend, even if her feelings weren’t and even if Bucky’s weren’t completely. It wasn’t the real thing. Either of them knew that Westview could never have been a permanent solution. And the worries of the real world ought to have torn them apart, right? Right?

Y/N’s sighed as she watched the rain drum against her windowpane. But other than the droplets almost calmingly running down the glass, her mind was in a jumble.

call him

don’t

call him

don’t

he loves me

he loves me not

call him

don’t call him

call him

he loves me

“Bucky is in love with you. He has always been.”

Wanda’s voice appeared in her head and all of a sudden the screen turned black and Bucky’s picture appeared in her hand. Oh shit. She had pushed the call button. Anxiously, Y/n pressed the phone to her ear anyway. She might as well finally go through with it now that it had happened. Her heart was racing though, hands becoming clammy and her breaths slightly shallow.

Beeeeep

Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe Wanda was wrong. Maybe her powers were fooling even her. This was nerve-wracking - this was torture.

Beee- “Y/N!” Bucky’s voice sounded surprised and elated at the same time. And it kind of eased Y/N’s nerves. For the fraction of a moment, it was as if all the bad parts had never happened. As if They were still happy together.

“Do you have time to talk?” Just get it over with Y/N. Like a band-aid. Rip it off. There is nothing left to lose.

He was quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat but Y/N’s nerves had somehow settled on a level now. “Uh... Yes, sure. Listen, I-”

“I mean in person... can you meet me in an hour?” Okay, maybe she got a little more nervous... but how could she not?

“Actually...” He trailed off, shuffling echoing through the speaker, and a dump of raindrops was thrown against the window, making Y/N jump.

“Oh, I’m sorry. It doesn’t have to be today. I- Oh god.” Abort mission. Abort mission!

“No, no, sweetheart.” But then there it was, that silly little nickname, and made the world stop in its tracks. Y/N’s hands were growing clammy and her heart ached at the memory of the last time he called her that. She pushed out a shaky breath, and somehow, she could feel Bucky’s panic through the phone. “I was hoping to talk to you, too. I’m... I’m actually standing outside your apartment door right now.”

“You... what?” A little spark sprang to life in her chest at the realization. She strode to the door in big steps and watched as her shaking hand reached for the knob.

She opened the door with one final breath and there he was, wet hair and water pealing from his black leather jacket. Bucky looked up at her with his phone still pressed to his cheek. Brows raised - almost as if he was surprised that she opened up - and a small smile pulled on his lips. His eyes were staring into hers and, as if on cue, a shiver traveled through her body.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

It was strange seeing him up close again because it was so familiar. They stood three feet apart but Y/N’s body was yearning to be closer. Because it knew the way his silky-wet hair felt beneath her fingers, it knew how his shirt smelled beneath that jacket, and it knew how his soft lips fit perfectly onto hers. And yet, it didn’t dare step closer to him. She didn’t have permission to do it anymore. Despite what Wanda had said, something had changed. And they sure as hell didn’t know how to proceed ever since.

Y/N shook out of her trance first, lowered her phone, and hung up. Then she moved aside and opened the door further. “Would you... like to come in?”

Bucky just nodded with a small blush creeping onto his cheeks. His eyes were trained on the ground now. But he entered steadily and as he passed her, she caught a whiff of that comforting, familiar smell that made her heart ache again. Y/N needed to will her hands not to reach out and touch him, comfort him, and tell him everything was fine and that they could go back to the way they were. But she couldn’t - they couldn’t. There was no way to go back to, because Westview was history.

“Can I get you something to drink?” She tried awkwardly, desperate to bridge the unbearable tension spreading between them. It killed her to be this way again. Since they had gotten to a point at which no topic, no gesture seemed to be off limits. All of that was gone now, and it left an aching hole in her heart.

“No, I’m fine...” Bucky’s eyes swerved through the room and Y/N realized that he had never seen her apartment before. They had always lived in the compound and Westview and then... well, their ways just parted again.

“Would you like to sit? I-“ She stopped and sucked in a sharp breath when Bucky’s blue orbs locked onto her again. “I really don’t know how to navigate this, Buck.” Her shoulders sagged as she fell back on the armchair behind her. It was unbelievably frustrating to be like this. His voice was small when she looked up at him through her hands, tears already burning in her eyes at the helplessness.

“You were gone so fast... I was worried.” Bucky just stood still, his gloved hands clenching beside him, and then stopped when Y/N began to stare at them. It hurt to see him like this - afraid to be himself again... especially around her.

“You didn’t call.” His eyes met hers again.

“I thought there was a reason you left without saying goodbye.” It was insufferable to watch the hurt return to his face. His brows scrunched and jaw clenching - waiting.

“There was...” She finally answered, and Bucky looked almost disappointed at the answer he had received.

“Oh.” A silent nod shook water from his hair, falling to the wooden floor.

How was it that talking suddenly felt like the most difficult thing on this planet? Her throat closed up every time she tried to form words and breathing became so much harder when she just tried to calm down a little. Just a week ago she and Bucky had told each other everything. They had held each other through the night and shared smiles and laughs. How could that all go away so fast?

Y/N swallowed thickly before her hands fell from her face and began to fumble in her lap. “Or at least that’s what I thought. I talked to Wanda about it and she... she told me stuff.”

Y/n could hear Bucky's leather jacket ruffle as he turned his body toward hers. “Is she okay? Are you two...”

Her eyes met his, eyebrows raised in anticipation of good news, but Y/n didn’t know if she could provide them to him. She averted her eyes again. ”She is as okay as one can be in her situation. But I'm by her side if she needs me.” A small smile hushed over her features at the thought of yesterday. She had gained a friend back, even if she had lost an equally important connection all the same. And it gave her the strength she needed to continue this conversation - no matter the outcome. That’s what she had told herself when she left the lake that day. Luckily, this determination slowly inched back into her body with every second she was reminded of the eye-opening conversation with her best friend.

“What about you... are you okay?” Bucky’s feet stepped into her view.

“I... I don’t know.” She shook her head, willing her eyes to the ground, blinking the tears away. Slowly. The confidence was coming back slowly. But it was harder when the topic she attempted to touch was so delicate and held close to her heart.

Bucky’s hand carefully inched towards her face, his index finger slowly lifting her chin to look at him. He was trying to read her, his eyes were switching between hers, tears shimmering in them as well. Y/N had been so naive to think she had been the only one hurting after all that had happened. The world didn’t revolve around her. The connection she’d made with Bucky had affected him just as much. He sighed quietly.

“I go to therapy,” he confessed and his brow twitched at the statement. “Court-mandated sessions, to make sure I stay on track.” He swallowed and proceeded to kneel down before her, his hands now resting on her knees after guiding her face to look at him. She was careful, but Y/n removed his gloves with determination - desperate for the feel of his skin again. Bucky let her. He watched as the black leather fell to the ground with a soft thud and then he continued talking. “I hate them... so much. They make me talk about things I want to forget. Things I have fought so hard to never get to me again. And they just make me think of them over and over again... say them.” Bucky shook his head and Y/n felt the lump in her throat grow. “I dread them every week - they make me feel so much worse...”

Y/N held her breath in the pause Bucky made. His proximity, his vulnerability - it was a glimpse into the intimacy they once had. And when he drew a shaky breath, her hand laid atop his flesh one almost automatically. “When you called and asked me to meet up-” he silenced a small sob and Y/n squeezed his fingers to encourage him to continue. “I was excited for the first time in forever.”

Y/n finally dared to look up and what she saw made her well up. Bucky was staring at her, a single tear running down his cheek and a weak smile pulling on the right corner of his mouth. She squeezed his hand once more then, and his eyes fell shut. “I missed my therapy sessions, that’s why I didn’t call. I had to explain why I didn’t show up for two months.”

Now Y/N exhaled shakily. She was an idiot. And she hated how her assumptions always got the better of her at this moment more than ever. Because she saw what it did to people - what it did to Bucky. “And what did you say?” Her voice was quiet, full of concern and sorrow, but not even she could shake the curiosity hidden within.

His blue orbs were swimming in tears, but they stared at her softly, and somehow, Y/n had never felt more comfort. His hand squeezed her knee while she reveled in the feelings surrounding her. And even though it was a sad moment, she enjoyed it - more than any other moment she’s had in a week.

Bucky almost looked lost when his mouth opened again but his stare was unrelenting. “I... I told them that I have found a way to cope with it all... to feel safe and okay... that I was finally happy.”

“Oh?” She couldn’t help the little sound escaping her lips. It had gone before she could grasp it and pull it back. And Y/N silently scolded herself for it.

“Not like that concerns them. They just want to be able to control me. But you...” Now his hand soothed slow circles on her leg, leaving tingles in its wake. “You make me finally feel okay.” And then his eyes looked down to their hands and back up at her again. “It’s gotten bad again, you know?”

“The nightmares?” Y/n carefully asked while she held on to his stare and the calmness the blue in his eyes brought to her mind. It was magical, how they made her relax almost immediately - reminding her of what safety felt like.

Bucky just nodded slowly, another tear falling from his cheek and dampening Y/N’s pants. He stroked his thumb over the place, but the salty water had already soaked into the fabric. Y/N didn’t care. She just watched every one of his moves in awe, trying hard to sort the feelings swimming in her mind and lining them up for her to say. Bucky hadn’t had a nightmare since they had started sleeping in the same bed in Westview. Not even after his breakdown, had he woken up the following night. Y/n had held him extra tight that night, making sure nothing bad ever touched his fragile mind again, and she had been so proud of herself when he had woken up the next day with an energized smile decorating his face.

Now, there was not a trace of that face in sight. And Y/n was yet again reminded of how much not only her own but his absence of well-being hurt her heart. Like hundreds of tiny little needles pricking her walls until she would surrender. She wouldn’t. Not if his happiness was on the line.

“I’m so sorry Bucky.” Her hand stroked up his arm until it stopped on his shoulder for a second and then began to wander to the back of his head, where her fingers slowly combed through the short stands, scratching his scalp in the process.

“’s not your fault,” Bucky mumbled with his eyes closed, seemingly enjoying the proximity of the pair and their finally touching each other again.

Silence fell upon the two retired Avengers then, and all that was heard was the rain outside the apartment window and the busy street noisily existing beneath it. There was a lot left to say but Y/N was okay with the way it was right now. A little moment in which she was not worrying or beating herself up about things left unsaid. She closed her eyes as well, just feeling Bucky’s touch and his dampened hair between her fingers, the heat radiating off his body and the calming moment it spared both of them. She even found herself smiling faintly after a couple breaths - life hadn’t felt that easy in days. And she loved the nice little escape Bucky provided her with.

“I missed you so much,” his whisper broke the silence and Y/N opened her eyes again to meet his with tears vailing her vision.

Bucky was quick to wipe them from her skin, but his hand lingered on her cheek, spending warmth and serenity.

Y/N covered his hand with hers. “I missed you too..,” she swallowed thickly, “but it felt so... it was so...” Her eyes looked for understanding in his with desperation, but Bucky was waiting on her to finish. “Didn't you feel it? When the walls came crumbling down?”

Y/N felt unease creeping up her throat at the thought again. It was a punch in the gut after all the amazing days she’s had prior to the chaos that came with the destruction of Wanda’s version of Westview. And she hated how much it had affected her.

“I felt it, yeah... but it didn't change the way I felt about you ...not by a lot anyway,” Bucky confessed with a small smile, and his eyes did that beautiful little wrinkle thing she had grown to love the more she saw it.

And then his features became serious again. “Y/N, I don’t think you realize how much of an impact you have on me. Not Westview - you. You make me feel so much better, sweetheart. And I think I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you. You taught me so many things. You taught me that I'm able to love again. You made me feel normal but most importantly you made me feel at home for the first time in decades. I don't regret a single second of the last two months. Not one, you hear me?” His thumb stroked her cheek with emphasis. “Because they showed me how human I am. And it is nice to be reminded of that from time to time.”

She had felt this before - hints of it anyway. In Westview, when they first confessed their feelings for each other but now... now it opened a whole new realm of feelings for her. This was real - genuine. A hundred percent Bucky, choosing to be vulnerable and spilling everything out for her to soak up. And it was incredible.

As his words registered, the lump in her throat lightened and the anxiety in her system thinned with every pump of her heart. It was still stinging with guilt for what Y/N had but both, she and Bucky, through with her stubborn habit of assuming the worst, but it was endurable now. Because she had things to be excited about now.

Happy tears began to replace the sad ones in her eyes and called her down a little. Bucky’s hand still pressed softly against her cheek, and she gifted him a smile coming from deep within her heart. It didn’t feel scary to open up to him anymore. It was like weeks ago when the both of them had been inseparable - the best of friends... each other's person.

“The last- Westview was the best time in a long time for me too,” Y/N whispered because she couldn’t trust her voice just yet. Not until she had seen his body react to her words again. “And you were a big part of that. And I know you might not think this true but you were the reason for all my smiles and happy memories there.” Bucky’s breath hitched when she said this, his eyes squinting for a second as his smile twitched into an even brighter one. “This last week... I didn’t realize how much I needed you until I thought I had lost you. And I am so sorry I held off for so long. Just because I was so scared to have my heart broken. Because the truth is... despite all the anxiety and fear we have endured in Westview, you were always there for me. My favorite part of the day. My rock, my anchor... my hero.” She turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand before closing her eyes and nestling into his touch again. “I kept wondering how much of our feelings were Wandas doing. I broke my own heart when I could have just lived in these moments fully with you. And it made me realize that....”

There it was again. That stupid hesitance. That heart race, taking her breath and keeping her from saying what she had been aching to spill for months. And she hated it - god, Y/N hated it. She fought against it and willed her nerves to still for the most important confession of them all. She wanted to be sure and confident when she told him. Bucky didn’t deserve any more uncertainty. None of them did - because that was what had broken this havoc loose in the first place.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Y/n took a deep breath and opened her eyes when Bucky’s fingers urged her to look at him again. “It’s okay.” He nodded knowingly transferring a calmness to her that she instantly responded to.

One, Wazowski. Two, bicycle. Three, triangle. Four, car. Five, starfish.

And with one last breath, Y/N internalized his encouragement with every piece of her being. She was consumed by it - by Bucky. And soon, it shone through small cracks in the force keeping her from daring the jump. Y/n waited until every bit of concern and anxiety had melted away - until there was nothing left to keep her from finally saying it.

“I love you, Bucky. I’ve loved you for a long long time. And I am so sorry it took me so long to say it.”

There. It was out. And it felt amazing to have finally set it free into the world. Y/n hadn’t realized how much this confusion had weighed her down until now - now that it was gone and made her feel as though she could conquer the universe.

Y/N’s eyes traced Bucky’s face and she could see his smile build into an elated expression. There was not one happy wrinkle missing on his face. His other hand came up to cup her face. Bucky let a happy tear slip before he answered in a raspy voice.

“I love you, too.”

Y/n let out a shaky laugh, both relieved and exploding with joy at the words the man in front of her had just told her. She had known from Wanda, but somehow, hearing it from him made her truly believe it. She was ready to fall into the endless abyss of Bucky’s love now. Prepared for nothing but knowing that the super soldier in her arms would help her through it all. Because he had always done so - magic or not.

Bucky moved closer in the small silence overtaking the moment. His eyes lingered on her lips until they flicked back up to Y/N’s eyes half-lidded again. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as they spread into a small smile. There was a message hidden in his expressions, and Y/N couldn’t wait to read it with her tongue. There was no asking needed, not when her heart was racing like crazy in anticipation of the moment to come. But Bucky just kept still. And as much as Y/n wanted to be patient, her body just couldn’t do it anymore.

In one swift motion, her hand pushed his head forward, pressing his lips to her in a sweet short peck from which he retracted slightly. His warm breath pushed against her face in the small pause he sought out her eyes and then, without warning, he leaned in again to capture her lips once more. His hand wandered around her head, until it settled firmly behind her, the other still holding on to her cheek while his tongue began to explore her mouth.

Y/N opened her legs for Bucky to scoot closer on the floor, a content sigh escaping their kiss as she melted into his touch. She grasped at his shoulder, slightly boring her fingernails into his muscles and pulling an even moan from his lunges.

She had missed this, she had missed him. And as silly as it sounded, the kiss reminded her how much of Bucky’s warmth and comfort Y/n had forgotten during the sulking of the last week.

Bucky bit down on her lower lip sensually when her hand began to scratch the back of his neck and Y/n felt yet another surge of warmth travel through her body. It was as if he had revived her with the kiss. The liveliness returned to her body with every stroke of his tongue, every touch of his hand. She felt okay again - whole. As if she had finally found the thing she had been missing ever since Westview had come to an end and it felt unbelievably accomplished and good.

Bucky wiggled between her legs as his mouth began to travel over her face, placing wet kisses all over her skin and exploring its delicacy. He was impatient, though, as if something wasn’t right, but before Y/n could ask him what the matter was, he began to rise to his feet, pulling her body up in the process. Now they were standing, bodies pressed against each other, foreheads touching and uneven breaths layering over to softening rain beyond the window. Y/n caught her breath as her arms snuck around Bucky’s torso, soaking up every piece of warmth he could give her and he did the same. His hands, though, soothed small strokes up and down her back.

This was perfect, he was perfect. Y/n closed her eyes with a bright smile, the rain outside began to lighten to soft drizzle and the heavy pattering on the window subsided. And for the first time in a long time, Y/n felt calm and content, and purely happy. Her head slowly moved to rest against Bucky’s shoulder, and he carefully began swaying to the silence filling Y/N's apartment. The soft movement almost lulled her to sleep as she found the constant tension leave her body and realized how exhausting it was to be on edge all the time. It was nice to be this way, she could be like this forever - with Bucky here by her side and this serenity consuming her whole.

“I’m glad you and Wanda are talking again,” he carefully spoke and the rumbling in his chest tickled Y/N’s ear slightly. They were still swaying on the wooden floor, tender steps treading from one side to the other, steadying each other’s bodies with the gentle touches they shared.

“Yes..,” Y/n sighed and watched as the sun began peaking through the dark clouds outside, “she and I had a conversation long overdue. She didn't have a lot of time to cope with everything either. And I never thought of that before... haven’t thought about a lot of important things lately.” Bucky just hummed in response and placed a chaste kiss on the top of her head.

“We talked the whole day,” Y/N continued, falling back into the all-too-familiar rhythm of catching up with Bucky. It was easy and nice.

“Do you know what happened to Agatha?” A spark of curiosity lit up in his voice and Y/n had to hide the smile from pushing her cheek into his chest. Somehow, she found his concern endearing.

“Wanda told me that she is taken care of. She didn’t mention specifics, but I think Wanda finally put her into the role Agatha chose to play in Westview from the start.”

He hummed again. “She was really good at that.”

“Yeah she was... but you know who was also very good in their roles?” Y/n lifted her head from Bucky’s body and met his eyes already looking into hers.

“Who?” His soft smile mirrored the tone of his voice, eyebrows slightly raised. They stopped swaying for a moment, but his hands still held her tightly.

Y/N smiled in anticipation, a little excitement swelling in her chest as she spoke. “You and me.”

A bright grin appeared on both their faces. And almost mischievously, Bucky responded with a kiss on her forehead. “I’m hoping to get to play that part again one day,” he whispered to her temple.

“I'm looking forward to it.” And then she reconnected their lips again, pulling Bucky into her and with him, the promise of a once distant dream that now slowly became reality again.

There would never be a life without worries or fears or tears for them. But if those things happened to resurface, Bucky would make it all bearable again - worth it, even. There weren’t many people Y/n had been through as much with as she had with Bucky. And even though those battles had been mainly psychological lately, they proved just the more significant. She had found a safe space in Bucky. A home she could return to wherever they were. Bucky’s warm embrace served better shelter than any roof ever could. And in return, she would try to be his calm in the stormy winds of his life.

With Bucky and Y/N finally, together, the universe seemed to have mended two broken people by simply fixing them with each other. But Y/n wouldn’t have it any other way. She would never be perfect but having Bucky made her feel whole and he sure proved that she made him feel the same every day anew.

And this alone was enough. She would learn to enjoy life as it came because she was ready to weather the storm. There might never be any more hydrangeas or white picket fences, but the busy street beneath her New York apartment window, while she held the man of her dreams - her home - in her arms, was just as good and fulfilling. And as Bucky whispered a soft kiss to her temple, she was reminded of one of the many things she’d learned over the past months. Not everything’s better if she kept them hidden in fantasy worlds. It’s deceptive and prevented her from acknowledging feelings that were trying so hard to be heard. Not everything’s better in Westview. Even if, at first, it might have seemed so.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒏𝒅

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