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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Street Dance of China S3, Ep 3. It sounds like maybe I should step up my pace on these, as they’ve announced the captains for S4 now? (Yibo back, Lay Zhang back, plus a couple of new guys I don’t actually recognize yet.) When is this going to air because it is just LAUGHABLE that I can keep up with 3+ hours of this a week. Particularly if I’m going to keep obsessively re-watching Word of Honor AND try to finally finish Killer & Healer in the miniscule free time I actually have for teevee. There’s certainly no way I can watch and dither on about 3+ hours/week worth of dance show in realtime before January, at least.

ANYWAY, this ep, we get a recap of everyone falling out after the captains’ cypher, and we learn who got the final extra towels and passed through to the next round: Lu Jiao Ni, who we barely see, on Team Jackson Wang; Yuan Ye (as promised) and A Li (who we barely see) on Team Lay Zhang (ETA: Wait, we find out later that A Li isn’t even on Lay’s team, she’s on Yibo’s - he wouldn’t move her on, and she gets one of Lay’s towels instead); Bullet (as promised) on Team Wang Yibo; and Xiao Ming (as promised? maybe? as we’ve barely seen this guy?) on Team Wallace Chung.

This week: Out of 400 people, we’re down to 105. Not all of these faces are familiar, and I suspect I don’t really need to learn 90 percent of the unfamiliar faces. I … am going to go out on a limb and make a guess that one of the dancers whose name has been bolded in one of the past two episode recaps is going to be the ultimate winner, because I have umpty SYTYCD episode reactions on my LJ, and I suspect I know how this works. I wouldn’t even put money on any of those five bolded names in the previous paragraph, quite honestly. Anyway, now it’s time to start culling down to 60. We bring out the team captains, and my first reaction is “MY EYES” because wth are some of you wearing? Wow. Yibo’s shoelaces are all over his jacket. Wallace looks like he rolled a flasher on the street for his trenchcoat. Lay Zhang is wearing a baggy pink jumpsuit, and I guess, OK, it’s easier to maneuver bathroom breaks in one of those when you have a dick, but that’s definitely a fashion trend that should have stayed back in the ‘80s. I guess questionable fashion is an international phenomenon.

There’s also an empty chair for the promised Mystery Guest, and there’s a game with clues, and a lot of guesses from our captains about who the Mystery Guest will be, and Jackson does A Bit through the whole thing. I don’t know whether to be entertained or annoyed by him. He’s the only one without some egregiously questionable fashion choices (so far) this episode, so maybe he gets a pass. Anyway, I don’t have the pop cultural context to understand the guesses, and I also don’t have either the pop cultural context or the knowledge of this area of dance to grok the Mystery Guest’s identity, but he’s Huang Bo, and apparently he had more than 1000 dance performances in the 1990s, so he must be at least as old as me and Wallace, if not older. Yibo takes the opportunity to make the – very NON-politic – remark that maybe HE wasn’t even born yet at the time? That … is not the way to win friends and influence people, Infant. Also, the Mystery Guest is NOT the person Jackson kept doing A Bit about. The reveal is all very dramatic, and he does a lil’ bit of choreography from of each of the four Extant Captains’ videos before he takes off his mask, and they act appropriately impressed, and there are some girls with short shorts among his backup dancers, so that all happened. The show obviously wants me to be very impressed by him. Show also tells us he’ll have a special skill that will be very important and at least leads us to believe that he’s going to be the “life-saver,” so the audience immediately curries favor, or at least plays at it.

Next up: Rules. Eliminations this week involve contestants self-selecting into groups of anywhere from one to five people and performing for a panel of all the captains. Teams pull a number out of a hat for performance order. Thumbs up from all four captains, you go to the next round. Abstentions from all captains, you go home. Thumbs up from some and abstentions from others, you face the possibility of a call-out from other contestants, whereupon you have to dance for your life battle to find out which of you stays and which of you goes. Oh, and we’re only going to keep going until the 60 available seats are filled, and then we’re done. If you’re number 35, you’d better be prepared to battle someone earlier and kick their ass, or you’re fucked, you don’t even get to dance. I’ve said it before: Audentes Fortuna adiuvat. Only wait, ETA: There will be some last minute BS rules fuckery, in a way that is clearly intended to save someone in particular, which I feel some kind of way about - and it is not really the way that almost everyone on the show seems to feel - but I guess we’ll get to that later.

And cue ridiculously long nattering, so we’re going to cut here.

First group is Lin Meng (Team Wallace), Teng Zai (Team Lay), Bing - of the infamous motorbike flirtation - and Dian Men (both Team Yibo), along with a dude we haven’t actually seen yet, Tang Qian (also Team Yibo). Your lack of even B-roll so far is concerning re: your chances in this competition, Tang Qian. I’m just sayin’. Anyway, this is a powerhouse group, and at least Lin Meng and Teng Zai are familiar with each other because they’re from the same crew, and Xiao Bao remarks from the audience of contestants that these guys are going to go through, no matter what. They’re going to do a totally popping routine. My sound drops out at the beginning which … yeah, makes them look even more like a boyband at the beginning, in their matching baseball uniform shirts. So, here’s the thing, they’re a little muddled, they don’t move smoothly around each other on stage - their dance moves are coordinated, but they’re not moving in space like a group that understands each other. (Somewhere in here, my sound comes back, and Yibo already can’t hold still to the music.) The other thing is, though - all of these guys are very good at what they do, they finally hit their stride a minute or so in, and when they do, they hit it hard. I’m frankly surprised they don’t get passed right through to the next round, but Jackson abstains on the vote, and when called upon to explain himself, it turns out he just wants to see them battle. I can understand the impulse, Jackson, but this is already super stressful on all the dancers, and it doesn’t escape my notice that you’re the only one of the four captains without a dog in this particular fight, so a little bit you look like you’re doing this just because you can. Remember this, because it will set a bad example for an 11th -hour vote. Anyway, there’s the chance for a callout, which no one takes because the entire audience is convinced this group is too good to beat. Five of 60 seats taken.

Group two is Shen Kai Xiang – the Jack Ma lookin’ dude. He’s flying solo. He gets to stand around uncomfortably for a while onstage while Special Guest Huang Bo does A Bit making fun of all of the captains’ speech patterns and accents and pronunciation, except Yibo’s, because Yibo apparently never talks. Ha ha. (I’m also wondering if there’s some socio-cultural stuff underlying some of this that I’m not cued in enough to fully understand.) Huang Bo then tells the contestant that Jackson has probably fucked him over by praising him too effusively (he came from Jackson’s team, and Jackson already is displaying a tendency to rhapsodize about how everything is “ART”), so all the captains now will have inflated expectations that Shen Kai Xiang is surely only going to fail to meet. I’m beginning to suspect that Huang Bo’s Special Guest Superpower is not “lifesaver” but “kind of annoying asshole.” Maybe it’s to take that particular spotlight off of Chick. ANYWAY, Shen Kai Xiang FINALLY gets to perform, and he gets a little bit of a slow start, but he packs in a lot of elements and gets a LOT of good air in his moves once he gets wound up. He’s lyrical and super emo about it. I’m kind of “eh” on him – technically, he’s good, but I’m not particularly connecting with him, which I’m willing to admit could be a me thing, as everyone else seems super-impressed. Three captains pass him through. Yibo does not and explains this decision as personal preference – he likes more “underground” styles, more battle styles. Huang Bo brings back the issue of too-high expectations to help explain why Shen Kai Xiang isn’t being passed directly to the next round, even though Yibo just explained his decision and that is literally not the reason he explicitly gave. Anyway, Shen Kai Xiang gets no call outs, which seems to surprise Yibo, and we’re at six of 60 seats taken.

In quick succession, we move through Liang Hua Jie – we don’t see much of him, but we learn that while Wallace likes his musicality, Yibo doesn’t like his face (OK, doesn’t like his facial expressions, which, what can I say? I get this. If I’d had the power to unilaterally send home Lacey Schwimmer on her season of SYTYCD, I’d have done it, that’s how fucking annoying I found the way she’d mug for the camera the entire time she danced. Like I couldn’t even watch her dancing, because I was too distracted by what she was doing with her FACE the whole time.); Jian De Chao (wait, is this Chao from the first episode?) & Chen Zui – who, from what we get to see of them have some good flow and move pretty well together, but can get a little bit mushy in their moves, and Yibo likes their skills, but Lay thinks they don’t feel like a group, which what? Incorrect; and a group that’s dubbed themselves Purple Storm Show, which includes Alex from Jackson’s team and four other people who I can’t even catch – we barely see their performance, and Lay likes them, but Jackson thinks they’re flat. I can’t tell if any or all of these guys were sent through to the next round or sent home, but if they didn’t make it, then :( because I liked Alex, and he got hit in the eye for this, he deserves better than to get sent home because his team can’t get it together. We still have no group that’s been passed through by all four captains.

And then, next up is another powerhouse team: Gongsu Wu Ming and Hei Zai (Team Lay), George and Xiao Ming (Team Wallace), and (Xiao) Bai (Team Jackson). Yibo is skeptical about an all B-boy group, and don’t make me fight you, Yibo, because an all B-boy group is like my dream come true (sorry, poppers; sorry, lockers; my heart truly belongs to the B-boys, they are my favorite). We learn they added a flip at the last minute – an assisted flip, with a couple of them flinging George into the air over the other two of them. Wu Ming thinks that George is the only one of all the competitors who could do it, but George – who has a little more skin in the game than anyone else, as the guy who could potentially land on his head wrong - is a bit concerned about whether they’re going to pull it off. They start, and they’re all good, a little bit muddled before they hit their stride, but the slo-mo cartwheel is great, and from there, they’re off and running. This is why I like the B-boys – I know it takes a lot out of you to do this, but there is nothing – nothing – like the magnetic energy they can generate when they’re in their performance headspace and everything is flowing. This is a performance, and Wu Ming has talked a little bit about wanting to step up breaking, and if this is the sort of thing he wants to do, I’m all for it – give him the platform now. I’m going to take just a minute to single out Bai and say that he’s better when he’s not doing A Bit like he did in his initial performance for Lay Zhang – he’s much more electric here, and someone else’s choreography may make the difference. Jackson, Yibo, Lay – they’re all out of their seats, none of them can hold still in the face of this. We get to the end, and unfortunately, everyone else is kind of cluttered and mushy moving into position for the flip – that is not a way to go out guys, DO NOT DO THAT at the last minute – but then George f’kn NAILS the flip, so that’s thankfully the last impression they leave. The captain’s faces are a picture. (Except Wallace, who’s suddenly too cool to give us anything, apparently.) FIRST ALL-PASS. George’s assessment: “Not bad.” :facepalm: OK, Mr. Cool Guy. They also cut in a post-interview bit with Bai about the performance, and he notes that they all know each other, they’ve been battling each other for like, a decade, now. Dance together more, guys.

Moving on, we fortunately have another very strong group to follow them: Gai Gai, Wang Tao and Huang Xiao, all from Jackson’s team, and you can tell he badly, badly wants to start in on the ART! bit but he (loudly) keeps his mouth shut about this group until after the performance. The only one of these three we’ve seen so far this season has been Gai Gai, but they all dance in the same group together, and they seem to be well-known by a lot of the other competitors, particularly Huang Xiao, both as a dancer and a choreographer. They say they’re doing jazz, although I’d be more likely to call this contemporary, if I was going to put them in a box. They are gorgeous – lyrical, fantastic dance vocabulary, amazing choreography, beautiful musicality, and the way they move together as a unit is … :chef’s kiss: I think Huang Xiao may be the best of the three, technically, but there’s something ineffably charismatic about Gai Gai that’s pulling focus a bit – just a bit – more than the other two in this performance. If there’s a weak link, it’s Wang Tao, and really, that’s only by comparison with the other two, which is a really high bar. We get some shots of the audience of competitors worrying about Yibo’s reaction, given his preference for the old-school battle dancers and an apparent “strictness” with urban dancers and related genres, but these three also get an All-Pass to the next round, and Yibo talks to them a little bit about the choreography and his (complimentary) reactions to the performance before they leave the stage.

And then. Oh, dear. Then we get a group of three – Da Mao, A Li and Tall(? Maybe? It looked like he was going to get out of this anonymously – probably lucky for him – but then the subtitles threw up this name on him at the last minute) – who are the only krumpers who’ve made it this far. Lay Zhang is really promoting them, because he really wants to see a bigger krump presence, and he’s really nervous about their performance, and he really, really should not have pinned his hopes on these three, because I hate to say it but they are a hot fk’n mess. They are … not good. I can’t believe any of the three made it this far, and in fact, we learn after their performance, while everyone is sitting in a kind of stunned horror (and y’all, I am not exaggerating for effect there), that Yibo did not pass A Li on from his team, that she got one of Lay Zhang’s final extra battle towels. I mean, there’s an obvious gap in the quality of this performance compared to everyone else we’ve seen. There’s also a lot of pacing around and standing around instead of dancing. They’re trying for the attitude, but they’re not managing it. They do manage to get an embarrassed reaction from Chick, which says something all on its own, as I wasn’t aware that he had any shame. Other competitors also are doing the embarrassment-squick cringe in the audience. Lay Zhang is literally hiding behind his clipboard. This is the first All-Out we get, where they’re directly eliminated – not even Lay can bring himself to vote “yes” on them. Now, all the krumpers are gone, and Lay is visibly sad and frustrated, but as we appear to move to a little bit of a break, Yibo displays the most emotional intelligence of anyone there and asks Lay to teach him how to krump, to distract him and get him actually doing the dancing he enjoys for a little bit. It’s also a chance for Yibo to learn a new thing, and he talks about his chance to improve in a little interview bit from later on that’s cut in here. I mean, yes, that actually was kind of a sad attempt at krump during the cypher, my dude, so this can only help you, but you also are being an extremely good guy, giving your fellow captain some emotional support right now. Thumbs up.

Next up, we have AK Dong (Team Wallace), also flying solo, and they give us a little heart-tugging B-roll about how he doesn’t have a team with him there, so he’s going it alone. He’s fantastic right out of the gate - good musicality, clean and precise, and he’s got a nice texture to his performance, it feels … full even though it doesn’t feel as big and expansive as some of the other dancers. Unfortunately, Lay doesn’t agree with me (incorrect), says he wants a performance that’s more elegant and “balanced,” and is the single holdout vote, which opens my dude up to a call-out challenge. This is the guy who looks like comedian Hank Chen, which has overshadowed his dancing twice now, because he had to listen to it from Haung Bo when he came out to dance, and he CANNOT catch a break, because now he gets challenged by three teams, including Bouboo’s team, which also includes Klash, Bullet and Colin (all Team Yibo), plus Boris (Team Lay), who we’ve only seen B-roll of so far although he speaks good Chinese, despite being from … I’m not sure where, but not China? AK Dong complains about how Boris looks at him with innocent eyes and tells him that they have no option other than to challenge, which is true (ETA: insofar as we know at this point), because they’re #36, and the 60 slots would almost certainly fill up before they even get a chance to dance. This team wins the bottle spin against the other two challengers, and I mean. :hands: This is a slaughter. They’re five-on-one, and they’re all really good at what they do, they make it look effortless, and AK Dong’s face is going to kill me. Wallace actually does vote for him, but the other three vote for the team, and that’s five more seats filled, and AK Dong eliminated, and I’m annoyed (although not as much as I’m gonna be) because I liked him, and I would have liked for him to get a chance to dance without having to listen to the Hank Chen nonsense at least once.

Next, we have Li Yue & Sha Sha, who appear to dance together on the regular. They have a kind of sultry number put together as the Green Snake and the White Snake that is … hm. I don’t know if we’re classifying this as urban or jazz for the purposes of the show, but it’s another piece that fits more into my contemporary box, if we were classifying them for most of the Western dance spaces I’ve seen. They’re good, as befits this stage of the competition, but a little inconsistent, technically. Also, I don’t find them particularly exciting to watch – I feel like something’s missing, although I can’t quite put my finger on what. I’m not sure their flow is consistent, and they’re probably not helped by following Gai Gai, Huang Xiao and Wang Tao. They get three yes votes from Lay, Yibo and Jackson, although they are … enough to maybe make Yibo a slight bit uncomfortable, being the shy and fragile homosocial forest creature that he may be, or that he may be getting edited as, who knows. Huang Bo pokes at Lay Zhang about his reaction to and vote for them. He also basically says that Wallace didn’t vote for them because Wallace wasn’t turned on by them, because Wallace is still doing his imperturbable cool-as-a-cucumber routine. Wallace’s hold-out vote opens them up to a call-out, and several groups come down to challenge, including – bad luck for Li Yue and Sha Sha – TI, who win the bottle spin. This group includes choreographer Zheng Jian Peng, as well as Su Lianya, who I didn’t realize was a TI member, both Team Wallace, along with … oh my god, Wei Ming, who’s the “Sir, what are you doing?” guy from Episode 2 when Wallace was giving out towels to poppers like candy, and I’m kind of pleased he’s made it this far, just based on that moment, alone, never mind any dancing skills. Rounding out the group are Long Long and Wei Lin, both from Team Yibo, and I think we got B-roll of Wei Lin at some point during Yibo’s eliminations in the first couple of eps. I know nothing about Long Long at this point. At any rate, everybody in this group is so good, I can finally see how they got their rep – fantastic musicality, and a great job of working as a unit. They feel like a team, even when they don’t manage to be quiiiiite synchronized. I’m not really feeling their costumes. Su Lianya continues to be a standout, even in a group that sets the bar this high. Wallace’s composure finally breaks when the other team captains evince interest in poaching her, and oh my god, he still has the hair elastic that he held for her at her initial performance, that they said would be a token of their vow to go all the way in the competition together. OK, I give Wallace a lot of shit, but this is actually kind of adorable. He literally pulls it out of his pocket to tell the other captains they can’t have her and to plead with her to remember their promise to each other. TI gets three votes and moves on. (Lay, still apparently captivated by the snake ladies although not enough to bald-facedly vote for them in the wake of TI’s performance, abstains.)

Next up are Tao and CiCi, and OK. I’m going to be honest here. I think they’re leveraging the “couple” schtick for all it’s worth, and good for them, it looks like they can pull it off, because I think some of the amazed reaction we get from the captains and from the audience is influenced a lot by their coupleness, but at the same time, I think some of the amazed reaction we get from the captains and from the audience is actually influenced by their coupleness rather than their dancing. I mean, Su Lianya and Wei Lin are in the audience of competitors clutching each other’s hands and crying, and it seems to be just as much about Tao telling CiCi out loud that he loves her just before the music starts and the fact that they kiss as part of the piece, if not more than it’s about their actual dancing. The show is also really pushing me on this, because whereas, with everyone else, it tosses up closed captions that tell me what moves are happening (in addition to dialogue subs), now I’m getting things like “heaven-made match.” They’re good, but I think they actually also suffer a bit from following the Gai Gai/Huang Xiao/Wang Tao powerhouse, because I think we’re unlikely to get anything on the lyrical side of things that’s going to match up to that for the rest of the day. Tao and CiCi are better than Li Yue and Sha Sha were, and it is pretty badass the way she manages to make herself so small and compact she literally disappears behind him for that last little bit, and if they’d won the bottle spin on the last callout, they would have won the challenge, I have no doubt. But. :hands: I think the show has actually done that thing Huang Bo accused Jackson of earlier and set my expectations too high. I’m’a sound like Yibo – or like Yibo normally would, because he also seems to get suckered into the overwhelmed reaction for this – and say that I think Tao was better in the less lyrical style when he danced with Yibo and Bing in the Ep 2 towel battle. They get an All-Pass from the captains and talk about their inspiration for the piece, which apparently is a couple who confessed their love to each other the day before the girl had to go into COVID quarantine, and well, now I guess I feel like just a little bit of an asshole for not appreciating the COVID love story properly? Anyway, the captains then keep asking them intrusive questions about their relationship, and Huang Bo mocks Lay for apparently never being in love so he won’t understand what it’s like, and I’m cringing in my seat a little before Jackson gets us back on track and Tao and CiCi finally go sit down.

Then Huang Bo takes the chance to go over to the contestants who haven’t performed yet and stress them out about how few of the 60 available seats are left. I mean, I guess it’s part of competition, but come on, dude.

ANYWAY, next up, we have a group calling themselves Team Wake Up – it’s the waackers, and this group includes Xiao Bao and San Jin from Team Lay, along with a guy we haven’t seen yet, Tu Zi; Meng Di from Team Yibo; and Gao Shi Yu, who we also haven’t seen, from Team Wallace. They start working it, and I’m like, oh wait … and then they hit the Cat Walk, and I’m like, oh shit, and a light bulb finally goes off, because I’ve been super-fk’n slow, but now they’ve shown me what this genre is about, and I’m interested to see what they do here, because a lot of this performance could be straight off the floors of the ball scene. The entire group is pretty good, although I do think Gao Shi Yu is the weak link, she’s not quiiiiite up to the standard of the rest of them. They move well as a group, though, good coordination, sharp and clean, fantastic musicality, high energy all the way through, with EXCELLENT attitude, which is half the battle, because if you’re not confident for this kind of thing – or if you can’t at least fake it flawlessly – you might as well not even be out there. They all do lose a little bit of focus when they’re in the background as they break out for their individual moves, and they fall apart a tiny bit near the end. Also, Meng Di’s belt is off-center, and I know that sounds super picky, but it kept distracting me, so I wish that hadn’t been the case. Xiao Bao is definitely still the standout here – he takes the lead from the minute they come out, with the mic, and never really relinquishes it. We finally get to see San Jin perform, and his extension could be better. Tu Zi must be lacking in the charisma department to not have shown up before this, because he’s better than I expected. Before they started, the group that Xiao Jie and Yang Kai are in together – who still haven’t performed – were debating if they should challenge this group, but Xiao Jie advised waiting to see how good they were, and then after the performance is all, “nooo, we should not challenge,” and props to you for not just writing off the waackers, my man, because they get an All-Pass, and there’s not even a chance for a callout. Before we move on, Wallace clams he’s learned some waacking during the show, and the other captains (led by Jackson, who calls him gege) make him demonstrate, and the contestants, who know what side their bread is buttered on, applaud.

Available seat check. Yibo participates in further stressing out the contestants by saying “Like, a dozen?” All y’all need to be challenging whatever chance you get. Now I bet you’re sorry you didn’t challenge Shen Kai Xiang back at the beginning, aren’t you?

Next up is our group of X-Crew representatives, hop-hop, and Yibo is excited. I almost expect him to do a little dance in his seat. Yang Kai helpfully lets me know that this group is from the top hip-hop crew in China. Oh, hey, that’s Qin Yu, from Team Wallace, the guy who Gongsu Wu Ming immediately recognized as the weak link in one of the towel battles and got up on; the guy who subsequently got taken out by Teng Zai, My Beloved. Qin Yu, the guy we hadn’t even had B-roll on, and still don’t. I wonder if I’m reading too much into that. He’s joined by Flea (which I’m assuming is a direct translation, as it doesn’t sound like “flea” when he says his name?) and Ding, also from Team Wallace - neither of whom we’ve seen before, I think - along with Ting and Lei Xiao Yang from Team Jackson. This is also the first time we’ve seen Lei Xiao Yang. I … feel weirdly unconfident about the famed X-Crew, given we haven’t seen more of them before this. Then again, we’d only seen Gai Gai from her group, so maybe this is a BigSurprise!edit … Ting comes out hard and heavy, and I actually think this is the best performance we’ve seen from her so far. She spends a lot of time out in front on this one, and I don’t think I got from her initial appearance or from her towel battle performances just how good she actually is. Overall though … I am … not that impressed with this group. They start out strong, but then they get sloppy. They have trouble working as a unit, which is surprising from people who supposedly have experience dancing together. They’re all very good, but they’re not synchronized. A lot of their solo showcase bits lack complexity, and that is an understatement. Qin Yu still has some of that nice fluidity along with his pretty face, but he’s not balanced, and he absolutely does not have the finesse he needs to pull this off. They all do move into the end strong, together again, hard, power behind their moves - almost everything from the slo-mo move is good - but … it’s a little late, y’all. That took way too long to get back together. And then, they inexplicably descend into … it’s not even sloppiness, it’s an utter hot mess during, like, the last 15 seconds of the performance, which is absolutely not the final impression you want to leave. And … wow. Shit. There are captains who actually agree with me on this. Sometimes you see the expected top dancers allowed to slide some in these early rounds of competition shows, but not this time – Wallace and Yibo both vote yes, but Jackson and Lay both abstain, and Jackson … wow. Wow. Is disappointed in them and expected more. Despite the fact that he’s like, 12, and that he’s done this to past groups just because he wanted to see them battle, a little bit this actually has a vague feeling of your dad telling you how much you’ve let him down. The audience is shocked, but I’m glad to hear someone say it. It was a good - if spotty - performance but certainly not the best we’ve seen.

So, we have a callout, and the group with Xiao Jie and Yang Kai, which also includes some guys named Shen Zi Hao, Xiao Zhi Bin and Oscar, pounces. And that is a very deliberate word choice, because these guys are on X-Crew like a lion on the trailing gazelle. They’re in their Men In Black suits (ETA: Wait, no, I think maybe they’re Agent Smith suits), and the audience of other competitors is losing it. Xiao Bao is very excited about Xiao Jie. Both Yibo and Jackson look like they’re in actual physical pain, to be forced to make the choice that’s coming up. Ting looks like she’s getting ready to throw up – she’s accepting this with less equanimity than she did the possible results of her initial performance, at least on the surface. I … am dreading losing her, actually, because I suspect that’s what’s getting ready to happen, and I am so so sorry, baby, that you worked so hard to carry your crew like that and they couldn’t keep their shit together. On the one hand, I’m impressed they’re pitting this level of competition against each other so early. On the other, I feel Jackson’s and Yibo’s pain. God. God. The Xiao Jie-Yang Kai group is here to f’kn battle. This is shaping up to be a slaughter. They are fast, clean, precise, great musicality, complex moves, super performance. They’re synchronized, high energy, fantastic animation – which could be a little cheesy, but they’re confident and fearless enough to pull it off - fun and interesting. They are maybe a little bit too gimmicky to be perfect for my taste, but I’m not the one voting them through, and what they’ve come up with is perfect for the audience that matters – the captains, the majority of which are 20-something-year-old boys – and knowing your audience, and performing for them, is a skill, too. BIGGEST (and frankly, only) ISSUE: Somebody fucked up a move, right at the beginning … I think maybe Yang Kai? (ETA: Yah, it was Yang Kai, ugh, what a time for that to happen.) If you’re going to fuck up, best to do it at the very beginning, I guess, and then give this performance afterward, to mitigate it as much as possible, but that one misstep gives the captains enough excuse put off a decision they really don’t want to make, like it’s not just going to make it worse to kick the can down the road a few minutes. Split vote, 2-2 (I thiiink, Yibo and Jackson for X-Crew, Lay and Wallace for the challengers?), which throws it to a further battle. Ting and Xiao Jie, one-on-one, and both of them are feeling the pressure of competing for their entire team instead of just themselves. Two rounds, hiphop and locking. So, each of them is better in their specialty. Ting’s got some fantastic, precise moves for the hiphop round. Xiao Jie is not as good in this round; I do notice he’s got a more directly confrontational style when he’s battling. I feel like she’s doing more waacking than locking in the locking round. Overall, she’s cleaner, more precise, he’s got a little bit more energy. I wouldn’t want to make this decision, frankly. I think Ting was better technically, but Xiao Jie might be the better performer – better at all that other stuff that adds up to stage presence. I do wonder how much of the captains’ decision is influenced by the groups, and who the captains are or aren’t willing to lose, even though it’s supposed to be based on this 1x1 battle. Just looking at who the show has put emphasis on already, we’ve got Ting vs. Xiao Jie AND Yang Kai, and I don’t know that they’re going to want to let that one-two punch go. Wallace votes Ting and X-Crew. Yibo and Lay vote Xiao Jie and the challengers. Jackson, the coward, abstains. Looks like Ting and X-Crew are going home, and this is the first cut that I’m genuinely upset about seeing. Ting feels bad for letting her crew down, but they let you down first, baby, or you wouldn’t even have been in that position.

Available seat check: 12. Dancers left: 27. Well.

We’re coming up on two hours now, and there’s clearly some kind of drama we want to get to, because we whip through the next few performances – few names, limited time spent on them. The ones who do make it through are likely cannon fodder in the next couple of rounds. There’s a group of four in khakis that gets sent through to the next round; Yibo liked their moves. Guy named Zhan Ke in a suit goes through to the next round. We’ve turned into a clip show now, and the screen literally says “ … ” at one point as each group of competitors gets 3 seconds of airtime. Cut to three seats left out of the 60. There’s about seven people left, and … that includes Chick. I have a sinking feeling this guy is going to be the real focus, at this point. He’s paired up with some dude named Long, and they have lost the bottle spin on callout after callout after callout, so they’ve never had a chance to challenge, and now, look at these morose motherfuckers, still sitting in the bleachers. I almost feel bad for them.

So, three seats left, and the next group is three people: Yang Qi aka “Apple” from Team Jackson, Lin from Team Lay and Bobo from Team Wallace. Urban dancers. I lose sound on them right at the beginning, but they’ve got some nice sharp moves, good choreography, they work well as a unit. Solid performance, if not the best we’ve seen. Apple’s got the best technique, I think. Audience likes them a lot. We get a cut to Chick and the other competitors who haven’t danced yet as we count down for the vote, and they are all dying. Three votes yes. Yibo abstains. Huang Bo is so prepared for this group to be sent right through that he starts clapping and congratulating them, and Yibo has to be all, “Wait, no. Not yet.” The captains give their reasoning: Jackson says that he felt their power, emotion, speed all deserved full marks. Yibo agrees.

Yibo agrees.

…

...

…

Their faces in response, y’all. Their little WTF faces as he explains that he really just wants to see the other dancers, too. Oh my god, Yibo. You can’t just say that out loud. Are you serious with this, you can’t even make up a thing to fake critique them on? Cut to a later interview with Bobo, who’s been the least able to school his face journey in response to this: “Wang Yibo, I won’t forget.” Also, Bobo says, you’re not even hot. (lol) Joking aside, the group goes on to make all the correct noises about sure, it’s a competition, you face competitors, it’s what happens, because what are you gonna say? Meanwhile, to be completely honest, I’m probably the person who’s been least able to school their face journey in response to this, because come on, Yibo. It’d be one thing if you were making some kind of statement about the way they set this up from the beginning, with all competitors unable to participate, but I’m pretty sure you’re actually doing this to give Chick another chance, because you have been inexplicably all up on his jock since he showed up, what is it about this guy? I don’t get it. At all.

So, we get a callout, and everyone left challenges, of course, because this is probably the last chance. The audience is rooting for Chick. I still don’t get it. Bottle spin ends up on … Zhao Hai Jie, from Team Wallace, who we’ve never yet seen perform. Here’s the thing: If he can win this battle, then he only takes one seat, leaving another two seats available. However, he is NOT going to win this battle, not without ripping off any figleaf of fair competition that the show may have, because he’s just not that great. If he wins, there’s no way around the fact, right in your face, that it’s a strategic vote. He does not win. Four votes for Apple, Lin and Bobo. Sixty seats filled.

HOWEVER, just in case you were worried there may be any integrity here, director Lu Wei comes ambling out to say, hey, you know those rules we have in place? Well, fuck ‘em. Who cares. Let everybody left battle, and whoever wins that battle can have a seat along with the 60 other people. I’m going to translate this one, because despite the limitations of my Level 1 Duolingo Mandarin, I have umpty SYTYCD episode reactions on my LJ and I feel like I’m pretty fluent in Dance Show BS: “We really want to keep somebody who’s left, so there’s going to be some chicanery on our part.” They really do not want Chick to go home, y’all. I know it’s him. It’s super extra obvious they’re desperately trying to save him, at this point. And I am here to tell you that if Chick ends up on this show and Ting goes home, there will be nothing on this earth that could possibly resurrect Chick from the Pit of My Dislike.

Anyway, we get Dai Dai from Team Lay, who describes herself as a fusion dancer and is pretty good for the first 40 seconds or so of her music and then completely loses the thread and kind of falls apart. The captains do not seem impressed. Possibly they also know we’re just killing time until we get to Chick. Up next is Su, who is Very Dramatic. He doesn’t say what team he’s from, but given Wallace’s reactions, I suspect he’s from Team Wallace. I suspect Yibo’s not going to like his face. His performance goes increasingly off the rails as he goes on. He’s got a lot of goodwill from the audience of competitors, but no. This is not a winning performance. And then we get Chick & Long, literally the last to perform. Chick spends the entire time doing A Bit. Long, who anyone barely remembers is even there, does 2/3+ of the dancing. Everyone – everyone – is apparently vastly entertained by Chick, and I just … :hands: Fine. He’s a character, but I have yet to see anything in three episodes, across, like, 7 hours, that lets me see whether he can really dance or not. Yibo literally tells Jackson, “He doesn’t have many tricks, but he’s got a ton of ideas” and later says he’s a B-boy without a power move. Anyway, one vote for Su (Wallace), three votes for Chick and Long. We’re at 62 dancers, and I cannot believe I’m going to be subjected to Chick’s continued clownery when Ting has to go home.

Thank GOD we’re activating the Special Guest Host Powers, the first of which is “REVIVE,” i.e., bring someone back who was eliminated. Yibo is immediately like, omg, the hip-hop group. Then we do Yet Another Bit where the captains cater to Huang Bo so that he’ll take their advice on who to revive, and it goes on too long when we are, my god, two hours and fourteen minutes into this. Meanwhile, Yibo reiterates, the hip-hop group. Yeah, Yibo, this I approve of - if I gotta watch you fall all over yourself over Chick, you need to get Ting back for me. So, we’re finally getting the captains’ actual recommendations: Jackson says the hip-hop group, possibly feeling bad about the fact that he’s the one who spiked their chance the first time around? Yibo is all, me too! Yes! That one! It’s kind of adorable. Also, yes, Yibo, you need to get Ting back for me. Lay says Li Yue and Sha Sha, the white and green snakes. Wallace recommends a popping group that I don’t even know if we saw perform? At any point in the past 7+ hours of three episodes? Wallace, are you high? Anyway, THANK GOD, Huang Bo brings back the X-Crew group. We’re at 67 dancers.

Second Special Guest Host Power is … “battle?” So, we’re setting up Qiang Qi Da Zhan, aka Seven to Smoke, which they’ve apparently done in past seasons? Each captain picks two people – eight total – to participate. Twenty minutes total. Increments of 30 seconds each to battle. And I guess you have to accumulate seven points in various battles. We don’t get to hear the captains’ picks, but I can see that AK Dong is called back for this one. Also, I spot one of the krumpers. (:eyeroll: Really, Lay? Because I know that was you.) We see some clips of this. We see AK Dong get to six points. He … maybe gets his seventh point? Anyway, he says in the last interview clip that he’s here. I guess we officially find out the Seven to Smoke results next ep?

Also next episode: Divided into two groups and battling by genre for the next elimination. Five rounds. Also looks like captains might get a chance to poach from other teams. Also some wacky fuckery with the dancers’ heads that looks like it’s going to be stomping all over my embarrassment squick, argh.

Finally, we get a peek at hotpot, and it sounds like they ended up with 70 dancers, so three people managed to get seven points in Seven to Smoke? And somebody’s mom is apparently coming to hotpot, but I’d have to watch the actual hotpot show to find out whose mom, and we’re out.

#wang yibo #jackson wang #lay zhang #zhang yixing #wallace chung #street dance of china #sdoc episode reax

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jokertrap-ran · 3 years

Photo

(时空中的绘旅人—For All Time—) New World: PARADISE Clarence Route Translation (Chapter 3-1 力量与代价 : Ability and Price)

*For All Time Master-list / Clarence’s Personal Master-list *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Route tag will be #Memories of the Falcon

We finally managed to repel another wave of monsters.

I panted, feeling that I was being stretched a little too thin all too acutely.

Ah Xiao: Huff… I can't believe these Fallen are actually way stronger than the Sand Beasts...

Felene: Time's almost up.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

New Message Received

MSE: The Management System of Eden (MSE) kindly reminds you that the Fallen have retreated and the Safe Period is about to start.

MSE: The Management System of Eden (MSE) provides living quarters and time services for everyone; it is now 5AM in the morning. We wish you a pleasant day.

※Time Remaining till next attack 327597

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

327600 327599 327598 327595

It's the countdown again!

I kept seeing this countdown timer being projected straight into my field of vision ever since I was back on Earth. Just what exactly does it mean?

Moreover, this number matches the one that was being displayed on the Wristband’s communication terminal just now.

The communicator’s display should be visible to everyone; and Felene came to Paradise earlier than me, so she might know some things about it.

With that in mind, I turned to ask Felene, who was beside me.

Felene answered my doubts. She had also received the same message.

She told me that the "time remaining" was a test, in the form of a rule, that the Owner of Paradise gives to all Ability-users, according to the legends.

It is said that those who are left in Paradise by the time the countdown hits zero would be cordially invited to the Central Control Area. And that those absolute powerhouses will then decide the fate of Paradise and the world together with the Owner of Paradise.

Ah Xiao: I've heard of that legend before! But this information was given by a "normie", a businessman by the name of Rorschach. So, it might not be very creditable…

Felene: I still think that this information may actually be true. Because all the hanging clocks in Paradise all seem to display this very same countdown no matter where you go.

Felene: It's been three days since I entered Paradise. The Fallen that come every night have been growing stronger… This clearly goes to show that the owner of Paradise is intentionally carrying out some sort of selection process.

I agreed with her inference.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Paradise's Owner established a "safe period", encouraging Ability-users to fight it out with each other outside of the allotted time.

Seizing the Crystals within another person's Wristband and assimilating it into their own would increase said Ability-user's combat ability.

That's the only way to make one's Ability develop rapidly in such a short frame of time; thus, making them capable enough to deal with the monsters known as the Fallen, who are steadily increasing in strength, every night.

This was definitely a rule that had been set for the sake of weeding out the weak.

That's right; Paradise's Owner only wished to retain the strongest of the strong.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

MC: Felene, why then, did you establish the Mutual Benefit Association for Ability-users if you know about the intentions of the Owner of Paradise…?

MC: I've seen it displayed very clearly, In tonight's battle; you're definitely way stronger than everyone else here.

MC: You're not helping each other out at all… It's just you. You're the one who's always protecting others.

Felene: And now you've seen through me.

Felene only smiled.

Felene: How should I say this… I'm aware that in accordance with the conditions that Paradise's other is everything, only the strongest in Paradise will be able to last till the end of time.

Felene: But my whole purpose for coming here is to settle down in Paradise and live out the rest of my life in peace.

Felene: I don't wish to fight; hence, I gathered everyone else who only wanted to rest down here, in Paradise, to see if we were strong enough as a united front to overcome the difficulties we face together.

Felene: Paradise is the place that all Ability-users dream of. I know, that all those who’ve come here have gone through a lot of pain and suffering… And that all we want and hope for is just for a place where we can rest quietly in peace.

Felene: I know that this is just an ideal… And that it can be regarded as nothing more than a “naïve fantasy” in a world like ours.

Felene: But I still want to try my best to protect everyone… I hope that Paradise won’t only be a place for the strong, but also a place for those who want to rest in peace.

The morning sun shone upon her face. She’d spoken her ideals out loud, word-by-word, slowly and clearly, yet there was a shy look on her face.

I then recalled the girl that I had met back in St. Shelter’s who’d also talked about her dreams all so shyly, saying that she loved to dance and was about to take the stage soon.

...They were really similar.

Suddenly, Felene tilted and fell backwards.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

I rushed forward and caught her as she fell.

MC: Are you alright?

Ah Xiao: Don't worry… It's just "Time".

Ah Xiao: All of us Ability-users have to pay a price; The price sister Felene has to pay is that she'll unwittingly fall asleep once daylight breaks.

Ah Xiao: Come on, let's bring her back to her room.

Ah Xiao and I sent Felene back up to her room in the abandoned building.

We placed her atop the bed; she was sound asleep and dead to the word, her breathing even.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Ah Xiao: (Y/n)... Will you still be coming back tonight?

His eyes were watery, looking like a poor puppy who just got kicked and was making puppy-dog eyes.

Ah Xiao: I know that we’re all just burdens to you (Y/n)... But I also know that if you don’t come back tonight, we’ll all be murdered by the Fallen that come back even stronger tonight.

Ah Xiao carefully worded everything he said.

I saw the fear in his eyes.

He was afraid of losing me.

He was afraid of perishing at the hands of the Fallen; and even more afraid of being driven out of Paradise.

I think I understand Felene’s choice and intentions better now.

Normally, Ability-users would have already gone through untold hardships before coming to Paradise. All they hope, is for Paradise to be a place where they can rest quietly and peacefully.

MC: Don’t fear. I’ll still be with all of you tonight as usual; nothing will change.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥Chapter of Legacy✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Previous Part: (Chapter 1) | Next Part: (Chapter 3-2)

#时空中的绘旅人 #For All Time #Otome #Translations #Netease #司岚 #Si Lan #Clarence #猎鹰 #鳥海浩輔 #toriumi kousuke #Toriumi Kohsuke #Memories of the Falcon

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warmau · 4 years

Text

{Regular Inspired!AU x NCT} Sicheng

tw: weapons mention, violence mention, n*fw elements, be warned. everything written here is a work of FICTION, it does not in anyway reflect reality, nor do i condone any of the extreme behavior. ♢ introduction ♢ pick mark instead | pick haechan instead | pick yuta instead | pick johnny instead | pick doyoung instead | pick taeil instead ♢ special route: pick ten

“don’t fall in love with sicheng, everyone always does it and everyone always ends up the same.”

“sicheng?”

“are you asking for him or are you confirming him as your pick?”

the way jaehyun phrases that questions makes something coil up in the pit of your stomach

should i not pick him? it’s just he said he’s going to beijing which means ..... ill be far from people who could possibly hurt me ...... right?

before you can formulate another thought, let alone even look up at jaehyun

you feel a soft hand turn your cheek the opposite away

sicheng’s beautiful features come into full view and you nearly topple backward off the desk

you swear you see him smirk a little at your fumble, but you can’t really be sure if he wasn’t just wearing it the entire time

“ill take care of them”

he puts emphasis on each word. a slight accent slips its way through and you swallow.

take care of me?

“well - are we done here then? they’re going to be packed up and shipped to china and we’ll NEVER see them again!”

haechan spews, crossing his arms over his chest and eliciting a glare from mark

“they’ll come back fine, sicheng i trust you know what you’re doing?”

jaehyun puts a hand on sicheng’s shoulder and out of everyone in the room, he looks most comfortable with the gesture

because doyoung’s eyes narrow and taeyong doesn’t look up from where he’s chipping away at his nails but stops the small action as soon as the temperature shifts

“poor thing, couldn’t you have picked me~ now you’re going to china and i haven’t even gotten a chance-”

johnny sings, swishing around the wine in his cup

you assume he’s just doing it to break the ice blanket that seems to have quilted the room

but then sicheng’s warm hand travels down from your cheek to your wrist

as he gently tugs you up and off the desk

“of course jaehyun, you and your father know how i am.”

sicheng says a string of words in mandarin and you can’t for the life of you even begin to guess what is being discussed

all you can focus on is his skin on yours - you aren’t used to being touched by strangers

well, it’s been much more than just touched hasn’t it?

you sigh to yourself and try just slightly to see if you can wiggle free-

you can’t. sicheng’s hold was soft at first but now it’s like you’re grounded beside him without much of a choice

“you are meticulous, i will give you that. when do you leave for beijing?”

sicheng’s gaze is on you now

he has brown eyes like everyone else in the room, but they don’t look human when they’re only mere centimeters away

they seem to be speckled with foils of gold, as if they’re reflecting light from an unknown source

the power almost leaves you unable to speak and you assume sicheng must be aware of this overwhelming effect he has on people

because once again, the small smirks blossoms and he answers easily

“whenever they’re ready.”

“m-me?”

you feel him squeeze your palm

“shall i drive you home so you can get your bag?”

your hands shake as you reach for your toothbrush - acutely aware of the presence that’s occupying your living room

sicheng had commented, after getting out of the car and opening your side of the door like a gentleman from a movie, that your quaint apartment building was “cute”

he had seemed almost amused by the fact that you still used keys to get in

“you don’t have a keypad?”

“the building is a bit old so ,,,,,,,, “

he had hummed - shadowing after you into your cramped living space

you had invited him to sit down, but he had taken right away to the window

realizing it now as you tried to pack without going into full-blown panic about the situation, that window looked right out onto the street he’d parked

meticulous,,,,,,,, that’s the word jaehyun used to describe him,,,,,,,,,i wonder if that’s a good thing?

your train of thought is cut off when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket

you thank your past self for putting it on silence and pick it up, trying to mask your whispering with turning on the sink water

a friends voice crackles to life on the other end

“hey, are we still on for lunch tomorrow? i wanna hear all about your new job!”

you want to match their enthusiasm, but with everything that’s transpired - you can barely work it up

“ah- i can’t i -”

you rack your brain for a believable excuse as to why you can’t keep the date - oh my grandma’s sick, oh i have to do overtime even though it’s my second day, oh i accidentally stumbled into the inner business of an illegal ring of criminals who said my life is in danger now!

but another thought dawns on you

couldn’t i just tell my friend im in trouble? couldn’t she call the police for me and then this nightmare would be over?

your pause leaves your friend confused on the other end of the line

sicheng is in the other room, but you could take him on - couldn’t you?

you swallow - a nervous feeling like cold ice flows through your veins and you start

“hey, actually - “

you stop short

won’t she just laugh at me? whose going to believe me - a lowly intern - that the biggest family name in south korea are actually a bunch of criminals?

“actually, i got a little sick. i’ll text you when i can do lunch again, anyway - gotta go!”

you hang up before your friend can even protest. you stare as the screen ends the call and your background photo pops up instead

a knock on the bathroom door nearly makes you jump out of your skin

“all ready?”

“y-yes, im coming out.”

you turn your phone off and place it in your pocket again. you gather your toothbrush and some other necessities

you give sicheng a weak smile as you pass him, not sure if it’s because you’re terrified he might know about the call or if you’re trying to calm yourself too by putting on this act that you’re fine

that you’re not ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, scared

“that’s a light bag. do you have everything you’ll need?”

sicheng’s words come out slow and calculated as he looks at your duffel bag

you nod, slinging it over your shoulder

“we will be in bejing for some time.”

he looks you up and down and again those inhuman eyes seem to eat you up whole

he then says something in mandarin - leaving you staring at him stupified from lack of understanding

but he seems to think you don’t need to know what he’s said as he ushers you back into the car

you watch the cars pass you by on the way to the airport. you try to take in details because you’re worried you’ll never see this country again

who knows what will happen in bejing? but sicheng can keep me safe, right?

suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder - you look back over and see sicheng is still watching the road ahead

but his large palm is resting on the material of your shirt

“you did a good job.”

“w-what?”

“you lied to your friend, that was the right decision.”

he pulls his hand back and onto the wheel

even though he’d been speaking to you - he hadn’t even bothered to initiate the eye contact

though you don’t know if you could stand it, feeling your face pale because how had he known? had he been listening in on your when you were in the bathroom?

the care turns the bend leading up to the doors of the gates, the switchboard lists numerous asian countries and the destination flights and terminal numbers

laos, thailand, india, indonesia - so many other places than china, than beijing

sicheng swiftly walks in the direction opposite the ticketing booth and you catch up to him only after you’ve noticed how many strides away he is

“shou-shouldn’t we check-in?”

he simply smiles over his shoulder and you don’t know what the feeling coiling up in your stomach means

you clutch the strap of your bag and follow him through the large, unfamiliar airport

don’t we look suspicious together? sicheng is so tall and walks with such refinement - and im carrying this duffel bag ive had since freshman year of highschool,,,,,,,,,,,isn’t someone bound to notice us?

but it doesn’t happen - instead, the security seem rather cordial even friendly toward sicheng

tipping their heads or smiling when he flutters by

is this the jung influence? or is sicheng something of a powerhouse himself?

you’re lost in your thoughts when suddenly a gust of air hits you - the automatic doors at the end of a long hallway you didn’t even notice you were passing through open

and sicheng saunters up to one of the many small, but sleek jets that are parked in a quartered off section of the airstrip

a pilot greets sicheng in mandarin, they begin discussing something as you stand with your eyes wide open

a private JET?

you run your eyes along the white body before reaching one of the wings. spanned over it are chinese characters you’re not familiar with.

“come, it will take maybe two hours.”

sicheng steps back as the ladder extend from the jet’s one entranceway

the pilot and he wait as you make your way up the stairs - legs barely holding you up from the utter shock

the jet is just like you imagine it to be - everything is so unnecessarily fancy

and you sit stiffly in the oversize chair - eyes wavering on the flatscreen tv that hangs above the partition to the pilots cabinet

sicheng follows after, patting your shoulder again

“relax”

he says - or commands - it’s all a blur and you close your eyes softly and to yourself begging that this is all a dream - it has to be ,,,,,,,,,, it just has to be

when you land in beijing it’s already early dawn - you’re exhausted to no end, even though you think you took a nap on the plane

either that or spent the whole time sweating about how this was really happening - really, really happening

from waking up this morning, going to your first day on the job, spotting mark and jungwoo, ending up in the basement of jung enterprises, packing your bag

and now here

with sicheng

in beijing

sicheng doesn’t seem phased at all, he looks like this is another day on the clock for him as he takes your duffel bag off your tired shoulders and heads off the jet with a nod toward the pilot

“it’s ok i can carry-”

“your eyes are tired. you need sleep.”

well,,,,,,he’s not wrong but -

“are we going to your house?”

it’s probably the most childish thing you could ask right about now, but sicheng doesn’t seem to mind

he simply shakes his head

your exhaustion makes it hard for you to be as scared and as nervous as you were before. the panic you’d felt had drained you

so even though your mind was blaring alarms, you followed behind him like a puppy

what else could you do? he was the only person you had in this new place

as you two walk out through the airport, you’re surprised to see the beijing is still bustling even though it’s so early

the clock on the switchboard glares that it’s about 5 in the morning, but business people and travelers are already making the rounds

sicheng glides through them with ease, but unlike before - he keeps his head down

sort of using your duffel bag to shield the view of his profile

you scamper to keep up with his long legs, and finally, you end outside again

sicheng brings his phone out and makes a call, and nearly a minute later a motorcycle pulls up before you two

sicheng drops the duffel bag back in your arms

“yukhei. take care of them.”

“why aren’t you speaking man- oh oh i see~”

the rider takes off the matte black helmet to reveal a handsome, young face underneath

“im yukhei!”

he introduces - but sicheng just pushes you gently forward and clicks his tongue at yukhei

“go. they are tired.”

yukhei huffs but beckons you closer. you turn to sicheng and open your mouth as if to say “are you insane? im not getting on the back of some random dude’s bike!”

but sicheng’s eyes swirl a little colder and you decide to keep your queries to yourself

plus,,,,,,,,,,,yukhei seems nice? he doesn’t have a,,,,,,taeyong or a jaehyun vibe,,,,,,,,,,

“you will see me again, don’t worry.”

“oh sicheng - look at you being all caring, wait till hendery hears about this!”

yukhei teases and you give an understanding nod as you back up toward yukhei

he grabs your duffel bag, slinging it over himself and confidently tells you to get on and cling to him as hard as you can

sicheng rolls his eyes before he’s gone back into the crowd of the airport

what’s going on? i thought he was going to “take care” of me?

you assume yukhei’s going to take you to his home - or to someones home - not to the ritzy hotel lobby you stop in front of

decorated in old decdeance and gold

“um -”

yukhei waves to the desk girls who all giggle into their palm and then tugs you up behind him

for some reason, even though you can’t understand it, their whispers smell like jealousy and your cheeks start to burn

he brings you up to the 9th floor and there’s a room with the same chinese characters that were on the jet

you take the moment to ask yukhei, “does this say jung enterprises?”

he laughs, “no - they say dong sicheng!”

you blink back confusion, but then he’s pulling you into the grandiose suite and pointing out that the bedroom is down that hall - that sicheng said you were tired and it’d do good to get some rest

“where did sicheng go?”

yukhei shrugs

“probably to deal with his parents, anyway ill be here! so you’ll be safe - that’s a wong man’s promise!”

you nod - turning on your heel to go toward the room but stopping to ask one more question

“is sicheng,,,,,,,, famous here?”

yukhei almost doubles over with laughter because he genuinely thinks you’re joking

but when the blank look on your face doesn’t change he straightens up

“well, yeah - he’s the only son of the dong family. they’re basically chinese royalty.”

you hit the hotel pillows and for a second you think your body is melting into the sheets

you had wanted to pry yukhei more about sicheng - but the weight of the world had pushed you right into bed

you curl up and try to remind yourself to ask later, later - after a little nap

you think it’s part of your dream, the insistent shaking and the screaming, you think it’s just a bad dream cultivated from the rollercoaster of emotions you’ve been on today

but then you wince - because the yell is loud and gruff and the hand on you is cold to the touch

with a gasp, you wake up and see yourself staring up at a man

he’s unfamiliar, with a gun pointed directly at you

he’s telling you to do something in mandarin but you have no idea what and you pull away, eyes big and frightened

you can tell he’s getting frustrated, he leans over to grab at your ankle and harshly pull you off the bed

when a hand wraps its way around his neck and turns it to the side with a loud and perfect crack

the gun that had been in his hand goes falling onto the sheets and you scream

sicheng is standing behind the crumpled over body and he reaches toward you

afraid you coil up, threatened and shaking, but he soothes in his slow voice

“i won’t hurt you, i need you to trust me.”

you want to scream again - trust him? trust him? everything is ruined because of him and whatever stupid fucking scheme you got caught up in

but you know you can’t - whatever is happening is wrong - and when you feel him pull you toward him, it’s like your instincts are telling you this is the safest place right now

beside sicheng

you hear his name being called from the next room, you think the voice is yukhei

there’s another voice - maybe two or three and as sicheng leads you back into the suite’s main hall you see that there are multiple of these masked men

all restrained on the ground with rope - or being held back by who you can only assume are sicheng’s accomplices

“kun - are there anymore?”

“no, this should be all of them.”

the exchanges are quick and in mandarin - you can’t understand and you desperately bunch up the fabric of sicheng’s shirt as your knuckles go white from clinging to him

his broad back keeps you nearly out of sight from everyone when you feel it -

something swats at you - in an upwards motion - it almost knicks you

but sicheng’s reaction is fast and he spins you both so that you end up in his position and he ends up in yours

the small pocket knife cuts the left side of his cheek and the blood streaks down onto his chin

not even taking note of it - sicheng reaches out - hand on the face of the assailant as he tugs him down by the hair and delivers a strong knee to their face

they tumble backward - and you realize it was another one of those men

they’d been aiming for your back with that knife and instead - sicheng had taken the blow

you look up and sicheng barks something out - but you aren’t even mentally in the room in anymore

instead you’re looking up at him, his beautiful skin is stained with the red from the gash

you want to ask first if he’s ok - if he needs a bandage, but that’s ridiculous the answer is: of course he needs one

but the second question stays with you for a long time - why? why are you protecting me? wouldn’t it be easier if i get hurt and then you and the jungs don’t have to worry about me anymore?

either way - when you come to - you see that those men are gone and instead

you’re sitting on the coach beside sicheng and yukhei and a group of other men

“sicheng - seriously, why would you volunteer to take them here? you’re already a target yourself - isn’t this just doubling the risk?”

“isn’t it obvious kun - look how cute they are!”

“oh my god hendery is THAT the only thing that ever crosses your mind?”

“im just saying, isn’t that the reason sicheng - huh? huh?”

you can’t catch what’s being said - but suddenly the eyes are all on you

sicheng’s cheek has been cleaned up and patched - he explains that you don’t understand mandarin all that well and the mood in the air shifts

“that’s fine! ill use english - im hendery, and the rest of these idiots are not important! soooooooooo tell us, how’d you woo sicheng?”

someone makes a sound of disdain and you look in the direction away from hendery, this person is sitting up straight - posture absolutely immaculate and glasses perched on the end of his nose

his arms are crossed and he looks defensive

“that’s kun! he absolutely suuuuuuuuuuuuucks!”

hendery sings and falls back against the shoulder of another boy who shoves him off

kun directs his eyes onto you and then narrows them

“so - you’re sichengs new plaything?”

“kun.”

sicheng starts and kun doesn’t glance his way

“what? am i wrong?”

the tone of voice is condescending and judgmental - he doesn’t even know you and yet he’s saying something so rude?

“who cares, sicheng - did you tell your parents your back? chances are they sent those goons after you.”

“hendery ,,,,,,,, why would his own parents try to have him murdered?”

the boy throws his hands up in exclaim

“i don’t know? for the drama! they’re entertainment moguls - imagine the press stories!”

you sit up a little at the new fact - so sicheng’s parents are in the entertainment business? what’s he doing working for the jungs?

“no, they don’t know. but right now, i need to ask you guys to help me.”

“is something wrong?”

your voice is shaking as you ask, but sicheng gives you a soothing smile - it’s not very much effective with that huge gash on his cheek though

“no. i just thought our entrance to beijing would be safer. kun and yukhei - will you keep them company while i clean up this mess?”

kun is about to say: absolutely not

but yukhei jumps up and winks

“of course - you just be careful ok sicheng!”

sicheng turns to you and tells you he’ll be back soon.

that’s a lie.

he vanishes for over a week and during that week you end up being moved into the almost dubiously normal apartment where kun lives

on the outside, it looks normal - middle class

it’s nice, but not fancy. the neighbors are all either hardworking youths or families

kun is known to them as a graduate student with an interest in tech

but the reality is, it’s a money-laundering den set up under the jungs

when you’re first dropped off there by yukhei - kun refuses to acknowledge your existence

he sits behind his computer - wiring checks through different banks and forging signatures

another side business you figure out from your hours of observing is money fraud

kun spends great time looking at foreign bills and reproducing them to perfection

one day you lean over and look at the sample bill he’s made

pointing out the serial number on the left

“you can’t keep it this way.”

you point out and kun tosses a look at you over his shoulder

“excuse me?”

“there would never be a chain of numbers starting with this - it’s a misplaced pattern and tellers will now it’s fake.”

“how do you-”

you shrug, “i went to poland when i was younger and i just remember this detail.”

you turn the bill around and then pass it back to kun

he stares at you - once disinterested and even angry expression turned rather intrigued

“are you usually interested in details?”

you sit down beside him and look at his screen, it’s in another language - polish you presume - so you don’t get any of it

but you nod

“details always make sense - people in my program back in university would say im a perfectionist, but i just don’t want to make-”

“mistakes?”

kun finishes your sentence, pushing his glasses back up by the frame and you nod

“yes. this is why all of this is so nerve-wracking. it’s too bizarre. the details don’t add up.”

kun snorts, “details usually aren’t supposed to add up in this business. otherwise, the wrong people will come looking for you.”

“you mean like the police”

kun gives you an almost sympathetic side glance - although he can’t blame you, you’re not used to this - sicheng made it worse by bringing you here as a part of some stupid deal with the jungs

and then sort of tossed you into the corners

“here, let’s see how detailed you are.”

kun shuffles through a pile of folders and places them in front of you

“they’re various fakes i’ve made before - it’s really wasting time but if you can find the problems it should keep you entertained for a while?”

you smile, taking the folder and for the first time there’s almost a little bit of warmth coming from kun

even when yukhei swings by with lunch - he seems peppy about the change in the “temperature” of the room

the days get a little better as you wait around for sicheng to come back

kun is actually quite,,,,,,, tolerable of you,,,,,,,,and he’s impressed that you didn’t lie

you pick out some of his fault bills and he seems to respect you a little more for the way you carefully handle the nonsense, but welcome tasks he gives you

one afternoon, yukhei is back with lunch - this time with hendery in tow

“hey if you’re bored you can come take a ride with me-”

he starts to ask, slurping up his noodles before receiving a whack on the head from kun

“taking them out would be dangerous yukhei, think before you speak.”

“OW! I BURNED MY TONGUE KUN!”

you look down into the broth and sigh

“is kun being super mean to you still?”

hendery whispers when he hears you - but you shake your head

“i just wonder,,,,,,where is sicheng anyway?”

hendery sits back up and shrugs

“if you wanna see him so bad - we can make it happen. hey kun, can i turn on the tv?”

your eyebrows furrow

“why? did something happen - was it on the news?”

you get up, almost spilling your noodles - your look of alarm only humors the two boys as they reassure that’s not it

when hendery fishes the control out from one of the bookshelves he clicks through the static and the channels before settling on one

you stare at the screen - it looks like a movie? or maybe a drama?

the setting reminds you of your university, the library, the students and then -

“s-sicheng?!”

you lean forward and your jaw nearly drops because sicheng pops up on the screen

his lines are all in mandarin and he’s being pulled around by what is probably his love interest in the drama

but that’s not why you’re in disbelief

not only does he work for the jungs - he’s ,,,,,,,,,,,, he’s an actor?!?!

“he’s super popular here too - his face is on like every brand of ice-cream.”

hendery chimes in and you want to ask something when kun marches back in - shutting the tv off

“they didn’t have to know that”

he hisses and yukhei rolls his eyes, “if they’re going to be here for six months - they’re bound to find out!”

hendery nods in agreement

“the dong family are all famous actors, but they also own a number of the big fine arts theaters in mainland china. sicheng acts, but he’s probably going to take over one of the departments soon.”

“h-how if he works for the jungs?”

yukhei taps his chin and hendery shifts sort of uncomfortably like there’s some kind of truth that everyone knows except you

you want to call it out, but suddenly the door clicks open and sicheng comes in

he’s wearing all black, hair stylishly done up and he slips the mask off his face as he greets you with a gleaming smile

“see, i said i would be back.”

you don’t have to ask him where he’s been or what he’s doing anymore - you’ve sort of pieced it all together

he comes closer and closer until he’s putting a hand on your head and giving it a little pat

“sicheng you can’t just pet someone like they’re a -”

kun starts, but you don’t hear the rest

is this what jaehyun meant - meticulous? organized? so well - that he could live a double life as a beloved actor in china and a criminal in south korea?

the stars in your eyes are apparent to everyone in the room, kun tenses up, but sicheng is used to it

he turns after “greeting” you and asks kun how the transfers are coming along

hendery and yukhei snicker and venture into the kitchen

you’re not sure how embarrassed you’re supposed to feel - but you are sure that something on your skin feels a little hot

sicheng sticks around, he even moves you back out of kun’s apartment front and into a nearby hotel

less fancy than the other one and this time, he requests that the back entrance be available for him to come and go

one evening you’re sitting beside him as he finishes a call with jaehyun and you ask the itching question on your mind

“why did you join the jungs if you’re so successful here in china?”

his mouth twitches up a little

“ah - so you found out?”

“that you’re the son of famous actors and are on every makeup brand ad in beijing? yes - i found out.”

he laughs

“you’re being sarcastic - right?”

you blush, you don’t know why, and look down at your feet

“well - i don’t know. i joined because i was bored?”

“b-bored?”

he leans back against the sofa and looks up at the ceiling

the angle highlights the strength of his jaw and glistening of his skin, the scar on his cheek is healing and even it can’t take away from his beauty

“yes. being famous isn’t all it’s cut out to be.”

he grins

“don’t i sound selfish?”

you shift

“were those men who broke into the hotel, were they after you - or after,,,,,me?”

“oh, they were after me. i havent been in beijing for over a year. my parents put out a reward if i was found.”

“a year? then that drama hendery showed me -”

he tilts his head your way and his gaze alone makes you feel a shiver in your spine

“was it where i played a university student?”

“yes”

“ah - it was a rerun. i shot it two or three years back.”

“and it’s still on air?!”

he humbles himself with a shoulder shrug, “maybe it’s that popular?”

part of the way he talks so languidly about all of this irritates you - but the other part of you can’t help but be mesmerized

what kind of person finds boredom in a life born into stardom? what kind of person doesn’t pick up a hobby to help it - like video games or crocheting

instead choosing to be the overseas link for a gigantic company like jung enterprises

so many questions fill your head, more than when you were basically forced to come here in fear of your life

sicheng grins and says something carefully - as if he’s cautious about the right words

“i can hear it. the gears in your head turning. you are curious, right?”

you try to shake your head, but it has to be obvious - sicheng’s read you like an open book since you made eye contact back in the basement of the jungs

“it’s just ,,,,,,,, a lot.”

he suddenly leans in close - pretty face mere inches from yours

“i know what can take your mind off of it.”

the thoughts that had clouded your brain seize - everything in your body seems to come to a screeching halt

he’d always had this power of overwhelming you, but now he was - he was tipping over that border

“sich-”

you can’t even say his name, not when he’s looking at you like that and talking to you in that voice

what does he mean? what does he have in mind? is it what im thinking-

the moment where he’d saved you from the attacker in the hotel room seeps back into you

the feel of you pressed into his back - the fact that it didn’t make sense for him to protect you like he did, to take the pain for you

he’d known you for less than 48 hours and he’d done that - what were his motives? it didn’t make sense

and on top of that, he was china’s it boy - he really - he would never put the moves on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you?

sicheng laughs because it looks like steam might come out of your ears

he takes your hand in yours and goes

“i was suggesting i take you out to see beijing, so you can stop having all these questions and see the beauty of the city.”

something inside you pops with relief, but another part - deeper away - deflates

exactly. he’s an it boy, a dream boy, so you need to stop thinking that stupid little act of kindness meant anything. especially not in the grand scheme of things.

you chuckle, as a way to push past your nervousness and nod

“s-sure”

you inch a little bit away from him and sicheng thinks it’s amusing

“but - are you sure you can just gon on the street? won’t you be,,,,,,, mobbed?”

sicheng fishes a black facemask from his pocket - “hiding in plain sight?”

you don’t know why your stomach does a little flip like you’re on some first date back home, but it does

as sicheng tugs you through the busy streets and you can tell that no one really looks twice at him - not with the mask and the baseball cap

and you’re inconspicuous in general, blending in among the talkative tourists and rushing native trying to get to and from all the places sicheng wishes he could show you

you can’t see all of beijing in two hours - and sicheng is definitely trying to play it safe - so he takes you wangfujing, buying up snacks and pointing out the crafts and decorations the hang between the malls

you spot his face on advertisements left and right - kind of thrilled by the act that no one even knows that their favorite actor is pulling you behind them right under their noses

sicheng explains that his parents own a theater nearby, that if he could he’d love to show you some of the productions they put on

and you ask in the busy, loud street if sicheng likes acting on stage or on the screen the most

he astonishes you once again when he picks neither

he takes your hand and twirls you around, much to the utter annoyance of some older women

and pulls you in close

“i like dancing the most.”

the whole experience feels like a fever dream of some sort - from the moment you two sneak out the back door of the hotel

to when you’re back and standing in front of the bed holding a panda sicheng had bartered to buy you

it says beijing loves you in bold letters on the tshirt it’s wearing and you don’t know why but you hold it close to your chest

beijing doesn’t love you - it doesn’t even want you to be here - and you wish you were home, feeling the lack of familiarity starting to grow

but something warm lingers, from where sichengs hands passed the bear onto you

and your tears dry up on your cheeks and you think - it’s fine, it’s only six months

sicheng explains the next day that he needs to be gone for a bit, just to do some small parts in order to please his parents and keep off the radar of anyone looking for the jungs here in china

he leaves you in kun’s care - and after time has gone by, you can tell kun has warmed up to you

actually letting you do tasks that would help him - and even offering to cook you lunch one afternoon

the only thing that seems to irk him as much as when you two first met is the mention of sicheng

but it’s not like you can help it - there’s so much you don’t know

you set the pile of highlighted documents down near kun

“you’re done?”

“yep, i checked them over twice - you don’t have to ask.”

you laugh and kun even seems to give you a twinkle of a smile in return

you shift a little, looking around the room

“do you know if sicheng is shooting another drama?”

kun’s fingers stop typing and he looks at you for a second

the coldness is back in the dark brown of his eyes and he clears his throat

“you need to be careful.”

“what?”

kun looks back at this screen and then at you, taking the time to slip his glasses down on the file you’ve put before him

“don’t fall in love with sicheng, everyone always does it and everyone always ends up the same.”

“the same?”

kun clenches his teeth

“do i have to spell it out for you? they end up heartbroken and feeling like an idiot.”

you don’t understand the spite, aren’t he and sicheng friends?

“i -”

“there are other men in the world. men that don’t live double lives, running around eating up the spotlight. don’t get me wrong, i respect sicheng. he works hard to make everyone happy. but he isn’t - “

kun searches for the word as you stand there feeling more and more pathetic by the second

“but he isn’t reliable. you should know that, with the way he comes and goes.”

you think, well you know, kun is right.

to be honest - you don’t think you’re in love with sicheng - how could you be? you’ve only known him for a bit over a month.

although you think it’s strange, that the moment he saved you replays in your mind more than the moment when you woke up in the jung’s basement

more than when you met all of sicheng’s friends

or even more then when you got to run around beijing with him for a little while

you go to sleep now, every night thinking back to it, thinking back to the image of him standing between you and danger

blood dripping down his cheek - not a seconds of hesitation when it came to protecting you

with kun’s logic, he’s right - sicheng probably did it because of some impulse or even worse - because he wanted to be a hero

he’s an actor after all, the limelight is a specialty, but you can’t help but buck against the ideas

it had felt like sicheng did it because he didn’t want you to be the one hurt

was it because jaehyun would get on his case? but why - having you gone eliminates the problem

was it because he’d look cool in front of his friends? his friends didn’t even know you, and kun didn’t even seem to want to know you back then

so why? why? why?

you don’t look at kun - you just sort of nod and ask if there’s anything else you can do

kun waves you off, but an hour or so seems to feel slightly bad for blowing up on you

offering that you two go out and buy some groceries for a nicer dinner than instant ramen or fastfood that yukhei could bring back on his bike

you agree, mostly because you don’t want to revert back to the awkward and hateful atmosphere that you’d first had to stew in when you met each other

and to your relief, neither does kun

you guys talk naturally - even confusing the cashier who kun shyly explains to you called you his significant other on accident

you laugh it off and are too busy rummaging through the bags to see the way kun’s eyes linger on you

as you’re walking back to the apartment - kun stops under on of the streetlights

you turn back and ask what’s wrong

“i want to ask you again, well i didn’t ask the first time - i just made the assumption, but are you in love with sicheng?”

you feel your hands sort of twitch in response - you thought that conversation had been buried away

“i-”

you start, wanting to explain to kun where you are right now - what you’re thinking

hendery, xiaojun, yukhei - they were always kind to you. but kun had spent the most time with you and you were getting to a point where you thought you could see him as a sort of confident about all this

you obviously didn’t want to worry sicheng with your doubts (or your emotions)

so telling kun might actually make it better

“kun, i just i think i-”

the sound of tires reveing against the street cuts your sentence off

you both turn to see yukhei’s familiar motorcycle and he waves as he pulls up onto the curb

tugging off the helmet he greets you two with his usually goofy smile and points to the grocery bags

“is mama kun making something good tonight? can i join?”

you giggle and kun rolls his eyes, but invites him anyway

the weird moment and the weird question kun had asked melt away, at least they do for you

as you listen to yukhei excitedly explain one of the new upgrades on his bike

kun slinks a little behind. he wonders what you were going to say.

for a while everything seems to be “normal”

normal meaning no one attacks you in the hotel room or comes raiding kun’s apartment

you think surviving this isn’t going to be that hard - not the horrible nightmare you had thought it was when you were getting on the jet to fly over here

when sicheng is around, he’s always got a way of keeping your attention. you usually don’t focus on anything but the work kun gives you

but when sicheng is there - you kind of feel like another fan watching one of his dramas - he’s just ,,,,,, he’s like living artwork

and you know he knows you peek - because sometimes he’ll look back at you and wink

the mindless flirting sort of makes you feel sprinkles of joy, but you try to level it out with what kun had said

maybe you are another “plaything” - something sicheng thought he could keep around for when he’s bored

but he’s otherwise,,,,, respectful,,,,he never crosses a boundary or does something that might make you feel like a toy - or like less of a person

if anything, he’s done more to keep you safe and happy

when he isn’t around though - you help kun out with small tasks which you say aren’t really criminal right?

most of the money, according to kun and sicheng, is just from “sales” the jungs makes

you don’t ask - they don’t tell and plus you’d rather do these tasks than sit around being useless

you’re scared that’ll make kun hate you again

hendery will sometimes come over and make you laugh, yukhei keeps pestering about that ride on his bike that kun refues him from giving you and xiaojun - though reserved - tries to make you feel comfortable too

you think it’s crazy, such sweet boys work for the jungs - but for some unknown reason they don’t mention it

and they never help kun or sicheng with this work? actually you’re not sure - do they also work for the jungs? do they work for sicheng’s parents?

still many questions - but it somehow feels like you’ve fallen into an ok groove

one call from jaehyun ruins all of that

sicheng had been around, making you feel giddy and safe for the past few days

you, him, and kun had been working on printing money for an upcoming trip doyoung was going to take under the guise of a “marketing meeting”

when the phone had wrung and the color had seemed to drain out of sicheng’s face

you didn’t know why, but you gut said it had something to do with you - and you were right

immediately after hanging up, sicheng had called out your name

“get up, we have to leave. now.”

instead of scrambling to your feet first - kun beat you, grabbing sicheng by the arm

“what’s happening? where are you taking them?”

sicheng shrugs him off

“don’t be concerned. make sure yukhei knows im taking his bike.”

panic starts to make your mind go fuzzy, the room spins as sicheng starts collecting your things

“the hotel has my -”

“no time, let’s go. i need to get you to safety. it’s part of the deal.”

the deal?

you follow after him, as confused and scared as the first time he’d lead you into this unknown place

but this time kun takes a hold of your wrist and tugs you back toward him

sicheng turns on his heel at the sound of your back hitting kun’s chest

“tell me where you’re taking them sicheng, im not joking.”

“kun let them go.”

“tell me.”

the hold tightens and you stare up at kun - something is different about him, he could be cold and unagreeable but this was just downright,,,,,,,,,,, frightening

“im sick of it, what was the point of bringing them here in the first place? did you get tired of playing around with the stars - wanted to ruin someone innocent?”

sicheng’s eyes overcast

“kun - what are you accusing me of?”

“they’re a person, sicheng. a person whose life you put in danger by getting them involved with you - with us - with the fucking psychopath jungs. don’t you remember what they’re doing to ten and yangyang?

two names you’ve never heard of pop up and you want to ask what the hell is going on

but then the two of them switch into fast paced mandarin and you’re stuck in an absolute limbo

“of course i remember, that’s why i started this. i thought it would help ten and yangyang.”

“and what about now? what about taking them out and frolicking about the city like you aren’t famous? like your parents wouldn’t blow a lid on you and this whole thing if they found you out on a date with someone they’ve never met before?”

“kun, it’s my life. i can do wh-”

“it’s THEIR life too sicheng - people are not toys! stop treating them like they are!”

sicheng’s hand suddenly wraps around your other wrist

“they aren’t a toy to me. you wouldn’t understand.”

“tell me sicheng, sicheng who was born with a goddamn gold spoon in his mouth - what wouldn’t i understand? the way you take people and use them up?”

sicheng jerks you, and out of fear of hurting you, kun lets you go

you fall back against sicheng’s side

“they’re just like me kun. they ended up in a situation they didn’t want to be in. they were scared and couldn’t tell anyone. it’s simple, i saw myself in them and want to keep them safe.”

“you? keep someone safe - sicheng you’re more selfish -”

sicheng leans forward, you look up into his eyes and he ignores kun as he presses his lips tenderly to yours

he pulls away - your body frozen over as he locks eyes with kun again

“i can be selfish, just like you’ll always think i am, and that’s why im taking them right now. somewhere safe.”

he turns and you barely follow behind - knees shaking

kun commands sicheng to turn around and explain, but sicheng shakes his head

“you can’t think straight right now, it’s the jealousy talking - you won’t hear me out.”

you are still trying to process what the hell happened as sicheng throws a leg over yukhei’s motorcycle

he beckons you over and before he slips the helmet over your head - you ask him, words barely audible

“wh-why did you kiss me?”

he gives you a small smile - but it’s not the one you’re so used to seeing

so used to being struck by

it’s almost,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sad

“because i might not get the chance to ever again.”

he turns on the engine and motions for you to hop on

you do, because you trust him, wrapping your arms tight around his waist

sicheng speeds off into the streets at a pace even yukhei hasn’t gone at

you suddenly wish he’d have worn the helmet instead - but you somehow know he wouldn’t have allowed that

you think you might be suffocating sicheng with how hard you’re clinging onto him - just like that time in the hotel ambush

you don’t know where he’s taking you or what’s going on - you don’t know anything and yet what scares you the most is what he’d said

why won’t i ever see you again? is it because you’ll die? or because i’ll die? is there trouble? i just want you to tell me you’ll keep me safe again,,,,

to motorcycle pulls up to the gates of a large open field - in the field you see the jet that brought you to beijing

in front of it is the pilot - who doesn’t waste time getting the stairs down from the opening of the jet

sicheng gets off the bike first, helping you right after and slipping the helmet off your head

gently he fixes the strands of your hair that have gotten all messy and you talk a mile a minute

“sicheng what’s going on? why was kun so angry? and why do i have to lea-”

“one question.”

he goes

“ask me one question, and then you must leave.”

you swallow - your throat is dry and you stare into his beautiful eyes - those golden specks rotate hypnotizingly around his pupil

why did you kiss me?

why were you and kun fighting?

where am i going?

what happened?

“why,,,,,,,,did you save me on my first day in beijing - wouldn’t it have been easier for me to,,,,,,,to have just been hurt?”

he smiles, tilting his head a little as he keeps his eyes locked on yours

“because i said i would keep you safe. that’s a silly question.”

“but you didn’t have to - you didn’t have to - no one is forcing you to keep that stupid promise to jaehyun,,,,,,”

he runs a hand down your cheek

“it’s complicated. but ill tell you something. even if it really didn’t matter, even if i had just met you. i still would have protected you.”

he leans in and once again you think he’s going to kiss your lips - leave you frozen and unable to think for yourself

but he doesn’t kiss your lips - he kisses your forehead and mutters

“because we’re the same.”

the words are cryptic - you can’t ask what he means because the pilot is gently pulling you toward him instead - toward the jet

when you get on - you rush to open the window and see as sicheng gets back on the bike

he looks over his shoulder and it makes your heart stop for a second in your chest

before he’s gone

the plane flys you back to korea, where mark and johnny pick you up from the airport

you ask them what’s the issue and mark explains that a criminal rival of the jungs in china had been suspicious of sicheng for a while

that one of his informants had caught a glance of you and sicheng on the street - confirming the suspicion that he’d been working for the jungs

“technically we asked sicheng to come back with you - so we could protect him too, but looks like he said he’d take care of it himself.”

“so,,,,,,,,so it’s my fault,,,,,,”

you whisper and johnny tries to play it off - “of course not! it’s not your fault - plus jaehyun trusts sicheng can handle himself! now c’mon, how can we turn that frown upside down?”

you look out of the window of the car - lost in thoughts, and mark taps johnny on the shoulder - motioning to leave you alone for right now

a couple of days pass and you’re allowed back in your apartment - of course a member of jaehyun’s team is always there to keep an eye on you

you don’t really know what to do but wait and see if someone - anyone - will give you an update

did that person see me and sicheng when we went out together? was it when we landed? if i had never chosen him and went to beijing then he wouldn’t have gotten in this trouble!

it’s when the door opens and instead of haechan or jungwoo, yukhei comes in and mark springs up in confusion

he pulls his gun - “who are you?!”

“yukhei!”

mark turns to you, “we said not to tell your friends-”

“hey hey, what’s the problem little dude - im with sicheng!”

mark blinks “you’re with sicheng?”

from behind yukhei steps out just the man of the hour

you notice a cast wrapped around his arm, but other than that he’s relatively unharmed

you rush toward him - nearly tackling him

“are you ok? im so sorry - if it wasn’t for you having to take me with you back to beijinig-”

sicheng puts the other hand on your cheek and gives it a little squish

“shh. im fine. aren’t you happy to see me?”

mark look between the two of you, bewildered and yukhei elbows him in the side as if they’ve been friends for years

you bury your head in sicheng’s chest and he laughs, gently running the fingers from your cheek into your hair

“let’s go dude - they need their space!”

yukhei exclaims, pulling mark after him and through the small door to your apartment

mark protests, but yukhei overpowers him easily and suddenly it’s just you and sicheng

you think you’re going to start crying - from the happiness and the confusion

“why didn’t you just come back with me? why did you stay?”

sicheng waves the cast around

“i wanted to personally deal with the problem.”

“why?”

“because that bastard threatened to kill you and sicheng actually went crazy on him.”

you look back at the door - where kun is leaning against the frame

“kun! you’re ok!”

you jump to your feet and kun kind of half smirks at the sound of worry in your voice

you don’t see sicheng roll his eyes behind your back, but kun doesn’t step closer

he looks at sicheng and on purpose tells him in mandarin

“i believe you for now, but if you end up tossing them to the side like everyone else - just know ill be waiting. and i won’t forgive you.”

“thanks, but that’s not in the plan.”

you huff

“can you guys please speak so i can understand - you two were in dire danger and the last time you did this you almost killed each other so please, im begging, don’t spike my anxiety through the roof.”

kun lets out a sound, sort of grumbling as he turns to follow after yukhei and mark

you look and see sicheng has stood up

“i now have time to answer any other questions.”

he laces his fingers with yours and you think - where should i start?

“why did you kiss me?”

“wanted to.”

“why did you kiss me in front of kun?”

sicheng grins, “to teach him a little lesson”

“why?”

sicheng shrugs, “just so he knows, that i like you.”

“why do you like me?”

“why - do you not like me?”

you scrunch up your nose and sicheng laughs again -

“fine, it’s because of what i said - you are a lot like me. we’re the same.”

“how?”

you don’t understand - you’re a uni student with an otherwise boring as hell life

how could you and dong sicheng - an actor, a boy born into richness with this starvation for adventure - be even remotely similar

“because even when you were thrown into all this. even when you were scared - you did it.”

“but - how does that make us the same?”

he leans in and suddenly his forehead is pressed to yours

“because i got thrown into this too.”

“i-i- i thought you joined because you were bored!”

he shakes his head, “there are other reasons. one day we’ll talk about them. for now, do you want to go back to beijing with me?”

your stomach twists

“it won’t be safe for you-”

“it will be. it will be safer there than here. plus, kun told me you are quite good with details.......the word jaehyun uses-”

“meticulous?”

“yes. meticulous. what do you think?”

you would agree - you think you are pretty meticulous yourself, but instead of saying anything or asking any of the million questions you still have you hug him again

because sicheng had said before that he’d be afraid he’d only get one chance to kiss you again

and you just are scared of thinking that that could have been the reality of this situation

“ah, xiaojun brought this back by the way.”

sicheng pulls the panda he bought you at the beijing markets and drops it in your hands - you stare at it

the shirt on the panda had said ‘beijing loves you’ before - but, in what you presume is xiaojun’s handwirting, there’s a post it over beijing it says ‘sicheng’

you giggle - but then look up at him

he tkaes the post it off and taps the panda’s head

“so - do you want to come back with me? or do you want to switch and pick someone else?’

“that’s a silly question.”

you copy him and tip toe up to press your lips to his own

he grins against your lips and then goes, “we’re going to have to convince jaehyun though - he was a bit mad about this situation.”

“that’s fine - doesn’t he trust you.”

sicheng nods, looking deep into your eyes

“he does. but i hope he knows that if anything, just say the word and ill always pick you over my allegiance to him.”

you can’t believe what he’s said - you just look at him and see something in those words

“sicheng?”

“yes”

“i don’t know what jaehyun has over you - or how he forced you to work for him - but let’s get it back and let’s make sure you never have to see the jungs again.”

something sparkles in his eyes and he nods, slow and quiet

when you guys rejoin everyone outside, mark is too distracted with yukhei to notice the change in your expression

hendery and xiaojun who are also waiting realize it, yukhei does too when he looks over his shoulder. kun smirks to himself. finally

with your help

they’re all going to get back at the jungs.

spoiler: to know why sicheng joined the jungs - read ten’s special route!

#ok .............ok ................i want feedback on this please i expanded so much energy on it please tell me i cried writing it #i love sicheng so much #also it interlocks with ten's story so please read to understand the ending #regular au #blood/#violence/#sicheng scenarios #winwin scenarios #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #member: winwin #passes out #winwin #sicheng

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aros001 · 3 years

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Going in blind: Watching season 2 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Huh. Only 7 episodes. Not complaining necessarily. For series with an ongoing plot I've definitely become more in favor with their seasons only having as many episodes as they need rather than them having to stretch themselves out to full up a certain number of episodes, which can lead to padding and just bad character moments.

Episode 1: Jeez. Catra visiting Shadow Weaver's cell just to rub her success in her face and verbally abuse her back for once. It's like a twisted version of Zuko and Ozai from ATLA. Catra's upbringing under her was abusive but this is far from a healthy way for her to deal with it. She's basically deliberately swimming in her resentment.

Episode 2: It's not that I'm rooting for her but by-golly was it fun to watch Catra act like just the absolute worst she could while she was Glimmer and Bow's captive.

I touched on this in season 1 but part of the drama of the heroes feeling guilt over leaving Entrapta behind is kind of lost on me a bit simply because it was her own fault it happened. She deliberately went back into the purge room because of her machine obsession, which then closed on her and erupted in flames. It was more than reasonable to assume she was dead and no one but her was to blame, so I'm not really able to be invested in their guilt over it.

That said, weirdly enough I do like that her "abandonment" doesn't seem to be even a blip on the radar for Entrapta herself. She hasn't joined the horde because she resents the heroes or felt left behind, she simply is so obsessed with machines and experimentation that she'll be on the side of whoever lets her do the most of that. Like, it's selfish and irresponsible but it's very in-character and I'd far rather have a traitor motivation be based in that over something stupid like a misunderstanding.

Episode 3: I love the mental image of Shadow Weaver thinking up princess-themed ghost stories to tell Adora as a child.

So, if the previous She-Ra Mara separated Eternia from the other realms/planets/whatever she did and that's what cut off the She-Ra line for 1000 years, I'm guessing Hordak may be from the time before that happened, thus his drive to create portals and calling Eternia a backwards world. Either he's naturally long-lived or his technology is extending his life.

Episode 4: You know, you could maybe argue it was vague enough that it could be taken other ways but I'm definitely getting some vibes here that Scorpia is crushing on Catra. She literally refers to the two of them as soulmates at one point. I know she says she's trying to be friends but this feels a level beyond that.

Fun little reference to the original She-Ra cartoon thrown in there (and maybe Cowboy Bebop...? James Bond...? What was Glimmer's art style supposed to be?). I like how it is more like just playful ribbing than anything outright dumping on the original. Again, I've never seen original She-Ra but whenever remakes/adaptations go out of their way to trash to the original I always kind of wonder why they bothered doing an adaptation if the original is just that bad? Also, I was having trouble sleeping so it was about 2am when I watched this episode and the very Eartha Kitt Catwoman Catra made it very difficult for me not to lose my **** and stay quiet. With how much of a contrast that version is from the one in this series, that was hilarious. Bonus note, it's a nice touch that Frosta's version of Catra is a pretty crasher in that sweet suit, since that's the only impression of Catra she's ever had.

Adora being a chosen one is definitely elevated up simply by how much the pressure of what she's supposed to be is getting to her. I'm likely going to keep making Avatar The Last Airbender comparisons throughout the series but that's partly because I went into this series figuring it'd be at least structured similar to ATLA (season 1 being more episodic and a little more kid-friendly as it builds up the world before getting more serious later). Adora and Aang are interesting to compare here. Aang's worries early on were less apparent because he was more in-denial/choosing not to think about his problems that much, which fit with his character as a free-spirited Air Nomad. While Adora is much more military-minded. She can't keep herself from thinking about her problems and trying to prepare for the worst-case scenario. And jeez, that idea of who/how Catra is in her mind. Not only beating her but making her watch as she takes everything she cares about away. Not Shadow Weaver, not Lord Hordak, but Catra. That whole Lion King Mufasa/Scar moment between them in episode 11 and their fight in the S1 finale really did a number on her mental image of her old friend. Not reasonably so.

Minor note: I'm sure I'm the only one who got this impression but by the look of it, the way the robot's eye moved, and the music, after getting the soda spilled on it that little spybot gained sentience for half a second and then immediately died. It was so darkly comedic I had to laugh.

Episode 5: So that red disc is basically She-Ra's Red Kryptonite, having an effect on the mind rather than the body. The drunk Adora joke doesn't really do it for me but it did get some nice interactions going between Scorpia and Sea Hawk, two characters I certainly wasn't expecting to bond. I did really like Catra's panic when berserker She-Ra nearly beheads her. The implication is that is Adora really wanted to kill her Catra would already probably be dead. It's a thing I like about powerhouse characters like Superman or Aang, who could just demolish everything around them and don't simply because they're a good person...which in turn makes them the scariest person on the planet when they're well and truly ticked off. I'm not going to lie, I do kind of want to see a She-Ra version of Aang when Appa was stolen or when Superman fought The Elite.

Also, Catra's line of "I have control over Adora. I'm not giving that up for anything.". There's a lot to read into there.

Episode 6: I guess my prediction was sort of right. Shadow Weaver became basically a magic parasite and while it did increase the power she's capable of the implication seems to be that she needs a constant fix of magic to keep herself going, thus her attachment to the Black Garnet.

Have we seen Micah before? Given how long ago the flashback seems set, the fact that Shadow Weaver didn't kill him and thus he probably becomes someone important later in life, I'm guessing he's Glimmer's dad and the queen's late husband, since I think he's the only important male character whose face we haven't seen yet. Also, he's voice by Ezra from Star Wars Rebels and that cracks me up for some reason. It's the exact same voice and a relatively similar character.

I compared Catra and Shadow Weaver with a kind of twisted version of Zuko and Ozai and that definitely still fits here. Both Catra and Zuko confront their parent and call them out for the inexcusable abuse they put them through but while that moment was the start of Zuko's upwards journey this and SW's betrayal seems like it's going to cause Catra to spiral even further. Makes sense why Adora leaving affected her so much. She's probably the only one Catra's ever had that she could consistently trust and rely on, even if she did somewhat resent her.

Not surprised Hordak is getting along with Entrapta. She's not socially aware enough to be scared or intimidated by him, so she'll speak frankly, and since all she wants to talk about is the machines, experiments, and how they could get them to work Hordak probably doesn't take much issue with that. She's producing results, which is what he cares about, thus also why Shadow Weaver and Catra started losing favor with him. I wonder if Catra is going through imposter syndrome? Shadow Weaver had that line that Entrapta earned her place next to Hordak and, if you think about it, Catra hasn't really "earned" anything. We saw that she didn't really take her training or studies that seriously, showing up late to combat practice and even getting partial credit for what Adora beat. She wasn't promoted to Force Captain because of her own abilities but because Adora had defected when she was supposed to get that title. She's come close to a few victories but never really had any except for Glimmer and Bow's kidnapping...whom she then basically let escape when she returned Adora's sword to her. She doesn't have the slightest clue how the horde's bureaucracy works when trying to get things done, like simply getting troops armor. Given how much better than her Adora always was and how little she herself has to her name, I wonder is subconsciously Catra believes she doesn't deserve her current position and thus why she's fretting so much over trying to prove herself.

Episode 7: Am I mistaken or did Bow's parents say that he's the youngest of TWELVE siblings? I was going to ask whether Bow was adopted or if his dad's used a surrogate or if maybe there's even just simply magic in She-Ra's world that allows two people of the same sex to have a child together but now I'm just focused on the 12 kids thing. I get nervous just imagining myself having more than one. You should see me when I'm with two cats. I have to pet both of them because I'd feel like I'd be making one feel left out and like the other is the favorite. I'm a mess with kids.

The dad with dreadlocks (Lance?), his design looked familiar to me and I finally realized it reminded me a of a fanart design for a human Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Very different voices between those two characters though.

I wonder if there's any significance to the robot protecting the crystal having the same design as those in the artic in episode 5? Obviously both have the connection to the First Ones but the robot in the forest who was also protecting First Ones' tech had a more insect-like design over these more worm/Graboid ones.

I'm kind of curious what Hordak would have done if Catra had told the truth. Given his interactions with her and Shadow Weaver he doesn't seem like the time to tolerate failure but I suppose the implication here is that he at least would respect those who own up to their failures. Or I suppose more simply he was just testing to see if she would lie to him and since she did there's little merit in keeping her in a position of authority anymore where she could lie about important things again.

Season 2 verdict: Still enjoying it. Another person on this reddit recommended I view seasons 2 and 3 as one since they are basically just one season split in two. I was going to do that but this ended up longer than I thought I would, so I'll just do 2 and 3 separate to keep them semi-organized and easier to read.

I think overall Catra is my favorite character since she has the most interesting backstory, interactions, and just general path through the story out of everyone. She's like Pearl from Steven Universe or, well, Zuko. There's just so much baggage there that she's trying and kind of failing to deal with. I'm always invested in whatever's happening when she's onscreen. Hordak so far is a good big boss villain for Adora to face but Catra is a good archenemy for her.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o027y3/going_in_blind_watching_season_2_for_the_first/

#she ra #she ra spop #random thoughts #reddit repost

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grailfinders · 4 years

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Fate and Phantasms #67: Medea (Lily)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re taking a blast to the past with Medea again, this time before Jason screwed things up. Medea Lily is a witch with an extreme focus on healing and removing status effects. If you think that sounds like somebody got their cleric in your wizard, you’re right!

Check out the breakdown below the cut, or the build sheet over here!

Race and Background

Much like the older Medea, the younger Medea is a High Elf Noble. This gives her +2 Dexterity; +1 Intelligence; History, Perception, and Persuasion proficiency; 60′ of Darkvision; the ability to Trance instead of sleep; Fey Ancestry giving you advantage on being charmed, and the Prestidigitation cantrip. The only difference here is the cantrip- you’re not that aggressive yet. (Almost like they have the same backstory or something.)

Stats

Make sure your Intelligence is high-studying magic is hard, but you’re good at it. Second is Charisma- you’re a child, people like you. Most people, anyway. After that is your Wisdom- you failed one really important insight check, but you’re good at healing and some of your spells explicitly use your wisdom modifier even as wizard spells. Children are pretty nimble, so pick Dexterity next. We really don’t want to dump Constitution, so we’re dumping Strength instead. Medea was never a powerhouse, and you’re still a teenager.

Class Levels

1. Like Medea before (after?) her, Medea Lily is a Wizard, meaning at first level she has proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves and two wizard skills. Arcana will help with your studies, and Medicine will help you heal when you run out of health slots.

First level wizards learn Spells that use their intelligence to cast, and they can also perform an Arcane Recovery, regaining half their level (rounded up) in spell levels on a short rest once per long rest.

Wizards get a lot of spells first level, so to speed things up, I’m just listing them and bolding the ones that are very important or very in character. For cantrips: Blade Ward, Mending, Light, False Life, Mage Armor, Protection from Evil and Good, Shield, Sleep, and Magic Missile.

Mending is literally how Pain Breaker works, restoring something to how it once was. Mage Armor is one of those “you can’t prove they don’t know it” spells, but it’s good for not dying. You have 6 health. Don’t get hit. Finally, you might not specialize in offense, but having some caster balls to throw around in a fight isn’t a bad idea.

2. At second level you specialize in a school of magic, and Theurgy will help you get that delicious cleric chocolate mixed in with your wizard peanut butter. You get a Divine Inspiration, picking a domain that will flavor your later features and spell list. Life is pretty self explanatory for this character-it’s almost entirely what you like to do. You become an Arcane Initiate, letting you learn Life Domain spells, and after learning all those you can learn other cleric spells as well. Finally, you learn to Channel Arcana, giving you power similar to a cleric’s channel divinity feature once per short rest. Divine Arcana uses your bonus action to add 2 to your next spell’s attack roll or saving throw, and is useless in this build. Preserve Life uses your action to heal five times your level in HP split among any number of creatures within 30′ of you. You can’t heal creatures past the halfway point this way, and you can’t heal constructs or the undead at all.

Now that we have our list, it’s time to fill it out. Bless and Cure Wounds are our first Domain Spells, and they’re also very in-character. Being a white mage without healing is kind of difficult, and Pain Breaker lets you reset your party to peak performance to enhance their saves and attacks.

3. Third level wizards get second level spells, and we’re going to continue to fill out our cleric spell list out with Lesser Restoration and Spiritual Weapon. The former is another Thing Pain Breaker Can Do, ending one disease or the blinded, deafened, paralyzed, or poisoned condition with a touch. The latter... isn’t really your style, but if Jason can summon the Argonauts to fight for him, you should be able to get their weapons at least. You use your bonus action to summon a floating weapon that lasts for 1 minute without concentration, with the ability to attack with your bonus action (and on cast) and also move 20′ per round.

4. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab a feat. You’re a caster from the age of gods, so you’re just a little bit more magical than everyone else thanks to being Fey Touched. This raises your Wisdom by 1 to round it out, and you learn Misty Step and Beast Bond. You can cast one of these spells once per day for free, and again with a spell slot, but they both use Wisdom as the casting modifier. Not that this is an issue- neither one has a save or attack roll.

For even more spells, Spare the Dying is a cantrip that you technically shouldn’t be able to get yet, but whatever else you’d get we’d just replace at level 9 anyway. It lets you spend an action to stabilize a creature without a medicine check. Healing would be explicitly better, but sometimes you don’t have spell slots.

For your spells that need slots, Gentle Repose extends the timer to revive a corpse by a week, and the corpse can’t rot or become undead during that time. See Invisibility lets you see invisible things, as well as the astral plane. Pain Breaker returns things to the way they should be, and most things should not be invisible.

5. You know the deal: a new spell level, another notch on your cleric spell list added. Beacon of Hope gives any number of creatures in range advantage on wisdom and death saves for up to a minute, and they always heal the maximum possible from any source of healing. Revivify brings a creature that died within the last minute back to life with one HP. This is the one thing Pain Breaker can’t do, but we need it to fill out the list, so we’ll have to suck it up and be better than the real deal. Sorry, I guess?

6. Sixth level Theurgists become Arcane Acolytes. They can Channel Arcana twice per short rest, and gain the first level benefits of being a cleric of their domain. Disciple of Life heals creatures you’re already healing with a spell of first level or higher by 2 plus the spell’s level.

Speaking of healing spells... we’re still stuck in the wizard spell list, so we’re not getting any. Instead, grab Dispel Magic and Remove Curse so Pain Breaker can break magical effects as well as simple damage.

7. Another spell level up, another round of cleric spells. For the fourth level, Death Ward prevents one creature from dying when they would the first time it happens within 8 hours after casting. Guardian of Faith is another spell we have to take, flavor be damned but just say you’re calling down Herc to bust some heads; he’s always down for that.

8. Use your next ASI to increase your Dexterity to help you not die. You may have noticed we’re not taking a beeline for Intelligence this build- since most of your spells are healing, a super high save isn’t that useful for you.

Honestly there aren’t many fourth level spells that work for you, so let’s go back and grab Catnap to remove the tired debuff from the party in 10 minutes rather than an hour, and Protection from Energy for some proactive healing, a.k.a. blocking.

9. When you get fifth level spell slots, we can finally finish up the Life Domain spell list. Grab Mass Cure Wounds for our first healing buff since level 2 and Raise Dead for another spell that breaks canon but is super useful. Also, replace that last cantrip with Spare the Dying if your DM’s a stickler.

10. Tenth level Theurgists become Arcane Priests, gaining the sixth level benefits of being a Life cleric. The Blessed Healer feature means that healing others is the best way to heal yourself. Probably not the best way, but a way. Whenever you cast a spell to heal another creature, you also heal by 2+ the spell level. Now you can heal while you heal while you heal.

Now that we’re free to grab more cleric spells, we can spread out a bit. Resistance helps keep a member of the party on their game with 1d4 on a saving throw as a cantrip. Greater Restoration can reduce a target’s exhaustion level; or end a charm, petrification effect, one curse (including attuning to a cursed item), one ability score reduction, or one hit point maximum reduction. Dream lets you shape a creature’s dreams, either as a way to communicate, or a way to torture Jason. If you choose the latter, he’ll take some psychic damage and lose the effects of that rest on a failed wisdom save. Also, if you have a bit of his hair or body part, he’ll have disadvantage on the save. Just something to plan ahead for.

11. Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells, but now that we have a whole new spell list to play with, we may end up going back for some low level spells too. Heal combines Lesser Restoration with Cure Wounds to heal 70 HP and end blindness, deafness, and any diseases on the target. Going all the way back to level one, Purify Food and Drink removes poison and disease from a 5′ radius of food and drink, which is probably how it should be.

12. Now that we have a way to torment Jason, let’s bump our Intelligence up a bit to make that save even harder for him. True Seeing follows that tenuous thread of logic that justified See Invisibility to its conclusion, giving one creature you touch Truesight and the ability to see the Ethereal Plane up to 120′ away. Contingency lets you cast a fifth level or lower spell up to 10 days in advance, taking effect immediately after its contingency is met. The tough part about being the healer is that nobody’s there to heal you. Now when you drop for the first time, you can instantly give yourself a fifth level Cure Wounds and keep going.

13. Thirteenth level wizards get seventh level spells. Regenerate and Calm Emotions will help you restore people to their natural states, both physically and mentally.

14. Fourteenth level Theurgists get to skip to the head of the class and become Arcane High Priests, nabbing the cleric’s 17th level feature before even they do. Supreme Healing means that all your healing spells always work at maximum power, no rolls required. This really amps up Prayer of Healing for out-of-combat heals, and all that extra HP makes Warding Bond a slightly less terrible idea.

15. With your eighth level spell slots, you can get a Holy Aura, giving allies within 30′ of you advantage on all saves, and imposing disadvantage on all attacks against them. Also, when a fiend or undead attacks, they have to make a Constitution save or be blinded for the duration. The Antimagic Field is more your older self’s domain, but most magical effects aren’t the way things naturally are, so we can swing it here too.

16. Use your next ASI to bump up your Constitution for more not-dying. Also, grab Telepathy for better communication with the party and Aura of Life for auto-healing and necrotic resistance.

17. When you finally get ninth level spells, Mass Heal and Power Word Heal should come in handy. The latter is just about as strong as healing gets in D&D, fully restoring a creature’s health, ending any effect that is charming, frightening, paralyzing, or stunning them, and they can use their reaction to stand from prone.

18. You gain Spell Mastery in one first level and one second level spell, letting you cast them without using spell slots at all. You can swap these around if you need to, so don’t feel too much pressure here. That being said, Cure Wounds and Lesser Restoration are good picks, so you can always have some healing ready. Also, you can now Channel Arcana three times per short rest.

For spells, Invulnerability lets you heal yourself so quickly that you don’t take any damage at all, and Wish will cover anything that comes up you don’t have covered.

19. With your last ASI, max out your Intelligence for the highest saves and most prepared spells. Now that your saves are as good as they’ll get, grab Dispel Evil and Good to protect yourself from extraplanar creatures. The spell lasts for up to a minute with concentration, but you can end it early to end an enchantment effect from an extraplanar creature, or to try and dismiss such a creature with a melee spell attack and a failed charisma save. Hallow can protect an area in a 60′ radius from those creatures, and you can give it an extra effect when you cast the spell. Both of these features last until the magic is dispelled, but it takes a full day to set up and costs 1,000 gp per cast. Useful for setting up a base, not so much in an emergency.

20. Your capstone level gives you two Signature Spells, third level spells you can cast for free once per long rest. Picking Dispel Magic and Remove Curse means your Pain Breaker will be working even longer than before. For your final spells, Scrying is just useful, and Temple of the Gods, letting you create a small temple over the course of an hour with a door only creatures you designate can open, and the ability to force extraplanar creatures away from it. Casting the spell every day for a year can make the building permanent. Does it match Medea Lily’s skillset? Not really. But it’s cool, and you deserve cool things for making it to level 20 with less than 100 HP.

Pros:

You are really good at healing, and you get to enjoy a late-game healing boost much earlier than you really should to be even better at it.

You can shut down a lot of status effects easily, or prevent your party members from getting them in the first place.

Spells like Dispel Magic, True Seeing, and Protection from Energy mean that you’re pretty good at dealing with magical threats, and at higher levels you’re especially good against extraplanar creatures.

Cons:

Ultimately, healing away damage isn’t as effective as preventing that damage by killing the threat, so your most effective use will be outside of combat. Statuses like being blinded or deafened are much more pressing concerns, though.

You have a very limited offense. Magic Missile can be fine to fall back on (unless they know shield), but you don’t have a lot of power behind it.

Your HP is super low, barely breaking 100 by level 20. That means power word kill will be a huge threat to you, especially without your older self’s counterspell. Also, plenty of martial classes can easily deal that much damage in one turn. Healing doesn’t matter much if you’re dead.

Next up: Time for a great victory!

#Fate Grand Order #fgo #Medea lily #D&D 5e #Fate and Phantasms

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whale-shark-queen · 3 years

Note

I have to know. How did you beat the full-force battle in N's event? I've got several good characters above level 100, but I can only get 1 trainer to faint after using all 9 of my sync pairs.

Okay here is what I can remember of my strat, but I feel it won't be too helpful to some since I've been playing since the beginning and gotten really, REALLY lucky with my rolls, all of my sync pairs being level 125 and their sync grids kitted out as much as I could. I'll also point out some alternative helpful trainers at the end! The orders I say the trainers names in at first is what order I put them in from left to right, with the right most trainer being the 1st target and your wall, left most being 2nd which will usually be support, and middle being main striker.

But just incase, TLDR; your main goal for your first team should be to focus only on getting rid of all the side trainers apart from using sync moves on the middle trainer, 2nd team should be to finish off Aerodactyl and whittle down as much of Kingdra as possible, and final team to do as much DPS to finish off Kingdra and Kabutops as fast as possible. Best of luck!

Full personal strat below.

SS Kanto Trio is up first, with Leaf, Red and Blue. Use razor leaf to lower their defense and poison them, buff Red, and Blue's buffs asap, and take out the side trainers first. Aerodactyl is annoying as hell, but there's no point focusing on it with meagre attacks when you can easily take out the side peeps so you can focus on the middle trainers. Only ever use sync moves on the middle ones apart from, of course, razor leaf, and the occasional heat wave of Red's if both side trainers are low enough for that to take them both out at once. Blue's sync move powers up the higher his defense has been buffed and Leaf's against poisoned opponents, but they do piss poor damage compared to Red's. But, you'll want to do Leaf, then Blue, THEN Red's sync moves in that order. Why? I can't remember what if any buff Leaf gives when she mega evolves but Blue's gives a free endure for the whole team, which will be useful when your team is starting to get worn out, and you don't wanna waste it early on when it can save you later on.

The chances are you'll get through all but maybe one of the side trainers, and about a quarter of the aerodactyl's health. Don't panic! You can get the badge even if 6 sync pairs get knocked out. It just means you'll have to save the best till last and keep all 3 alive, and the best way to do that is to wipe out the side trainers first so you can use your main powerhouses to whittle away the middle trainers as fast as possible.

My 2nd team is Rosa, Barry and Skyla. Rosa has been made 6 star EX from the free rally a little while back but we won't be using her as much, because Barry has my utmost favourite Pokemon, I poured all my tickets into him from the very beginning, so he's a maxed out 5 star for me (since he doesn't have a 6 star ex yet) and I've buffed his sync move to 4/5 using 3 star candies. The idea here is to buff the fuck outta Barry so he can melt through the opponent's health with bubble beam and his sync move. Rosa can use giga drain in a pinch, but your main DPS will be Barry. The 2nd middle trainer has Kingdra that can use rain dance which will be extra helpful for Barry since of course, bubble beam and his sync move are water type moves, it's their own undoing. If you're lucky and managed to get rid of all the side trainers you will most likely be able to get through Aerodactyl with ease and get through most of Kingdra's health. But again, don't panic if it seems you haven't done too much. So long as you've gotten all the side trainers and Aerodactyl out of the way, you're on track. This is why we save the best for last.

My final trio is Hilda, N and Hilbert. And yes, it's an incredibly reckless team, but your focus should be DPS. All three for me have the Unova theme skill maxed out as well as Hilda and Hilbert having the main character theme skill maxed out, and N has the 'unbending' lucky skill, which means that when he uses his 'ideals will prevail!' ability, it won't lower his defense. Which is pretty OP. But he is still a glass cannon to use, especially in this setup, unless you have him buffed to atleast 3/5 (which can be done with 5 star move candies, not just rerolling him) and unlocked the part of his sync grid which also prevents him from getting confused after using outrage. Which is INSANELY OP.

The idea here is to basically just have N and Hilda finish off the final trainer(s) before they can any of your team. My strat: have N use both his X attacks while Hilbert uses X speed all, and Hilda use flame charge twice to get her speed up 2 (keep an eye on the icone above their health bars! When a stat gets raised it gets a bit bigger with a number showing you what it's at so you don't waste moves) so that after Hilbert uses both his X speeds, she will be at 6 speed so she can use her ability thing that basically raises her attack the same as her speed level. At this point your sync move should be ready, but if not you'll probably wanna sneak in a quick 'ideals will prevail' and an outrage to get an extra little kick out of that move against Kingdra since the super effective buff doesn't apply if you use it after a sync move.

After your first sync move, your priorities should be; keep Hilbert alive with Hilda's potions; her sync grid can give her a passive that gives her one free heal per battle if she reaches a certain point so you don't need to worry about her too much at first. Hilbert should only exclusively use waterfall to try and get a flinch on the opponent. It'll do basically no damage but preventing the opponent from attacking is vital. Hilda can do okay damage with flame charge at this point, though it's IMPERATIVE you have her sync grid things that lessen recoil unlocked. All of them, or she'll just KO herself. N will be the trickiest to work around.

If you have him at 3/5 and his prevent confusion thing applied OR you sacrifice the potential lucky skill spot to prevent lowered defense for a prevent confusion you won't have as much trouble, otherwise it's a bit up to luck once you've used outrage once. Using Hilbert's other ability that I forget the name of that can raise team attack based on his own health can be useful to top up N's attack if he doesn't trigger his MP regen on X attack up (stats can go up a maximum of 6)

And uh...yeah, that's my personal strategy. And again I know this won't be at all helpful to some so even though I didn't use them in this particular battle I'll give some alternative trainer shout outs that I know can be super helpful if used right;

- Serena has an AOE sleep move which is super helpful as support

- Clemont is pretty OP since parabolic charge not only hits all opponents but heals him massively too, same for electroweb hitting all opponents and lowering their speed.

- Cheryl is pretty amazing support; she has x special attack all and her other ability heals a team member as well as raises their defense

- Forget paralysis and confusion and look for anyone who can do burn, poison, sleep or trap for your first team, since even if an opponent finishes off your team, if they have burn, poison or trap, they will still be hurt by that after your team get KO'd. It won't carry over to the other teams but it's still an extra chunk of damage that can be a lifesaver.

There's probably more indepth guides on the subreddit for Pokemon Masters, and I know this will be useless for some but that was my strategy and some tips. I hope it helps, and best of luck!!

#n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #pokemon masters #go get ur n simp badge

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zukofenty · 4 years

Text

off the grid

➜ Summary: The one where Katara is a spoiled heiress who manages to crash land on a (cute) soldier of one of the most dangerous nations in the world.

“Get your face out of my vagina!” Katara screams at the top of her lungs.

“Here’s a thought, get your vagina out of my face first!”

➜ Genre: Modern!AU, humor, CEO!Katara, Soldier!Zuko, Crash Landing on You!AU

➜ Words: 10.3k

AO3 @zutaramonth

“Get your face out of my vagina!” Katara screams at the top of her lungs.

“Here’s a thought, get your vagina out of my face first!” Zuko yelps, words gargling. He currently was being suffocated by the crotch at his neck. After Katara’s many screams, and a swift kick to his face, they both scrambled off each other, laying on the ground for a quick moment of relief. Her body is aching after throwing herself from the tree she was stuck in.

After realization set in that he was a soldier who was just nearly crushed to death by a cooch, and she was a woman who somehow crossed impenetrable borders, they swiftly were both upright. Katara in a fighting stance, and Zuko’s gun automatically pointed at the girl’s face. Her eyes nervously darted around, looking for any escape route in the expanse of wilderness and trees and furry animals she sure were foaming at the mouth, looking for a bite of gorgeous heiress who smelled of Chanel No. 5.

“I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!” Katara screeches, taking off as fast as her Yeezys could take her.

“Um, yeah I can !” He insists, shooting into her general direction. He wasn’t trying to kill her persay. Maybe maim. (It just would’ve been a lot easier if she died).

“Fuck!” he screams, once the girl was out of sight.

Last week, Katara was cyberbullying Debby Ryan from the comfort of her penthouse. One of her larger concerns of the week was debating buying the rights to all of her Disney Channel movies, just because she felt like it. Then, she could post clips of her disturbing, Radio Rebel smile every day on Instagram without copyright claims and she could blissfully ignore Debby Ryan DMing her a defamation lawsuit.

She had money money . Like being able to turn on the AC during the summer type of wealthy. The type of rich that could sing John Lennon’s Imagine during any crisis and say that’s enough activism for today . After all, she was an heiress of one of the richest families in the Water Tribes—a nation at the forefront of nearly every cultural conversation. In the past, every other nation out there doubted their abilities based on size alone, underestimating the tribes’ growing force. Once a nation surviving on simply hope to prosper post 100 Years War, they were now a cultural powerhouse you couldn’t ignore if you tried. From their dramas, skincare routines, and exquisite cuisine (two-headed fish soup and all), the nation was suddenly the talk of the entire world. They thrived under people’s ignorant assumptions. Blossomed despite people’s mistreatment of them in the media. Soon enough, those who questioned their authority were begging for alliances.

Except for the Fire Nation. A nation stuck so determinedly in the past. Notorious for their inability to move on from the world of centuries ago. The world where the Fire Nation was a dominating force. While every nation competed to innovate, the Fire Nation seemingly refused to accept reality. Their borders were violently closed off. Their trade was limited to working with the Earth Nation every once in a blue moon. Refugees who manage to escape tell stories of a cruel life seemingly stuck in the stone ages. Their leader, Azulon, threatens to bomb somewhere, something, someone every other week, and every nation’s relationship with them has remained precariously in the air since then.

“What the actual fuck !” She screeches. “I thought this was one of those national parks joggers find bodies in, not the fucking Fire Nation !”

Dead or alive, people weren’t allowed to make it out of the Fire Nation.

Katara was a stubborn CEO. The kind to only accept things by her way, by her standards. Coming from money didn’t mean shit when you didn’t have the raw hunger she had. She wasn’t like many of her peers. She wasn’t content with just sitting back and signing a few papers once in a while so she could make it to her SoulCycle class. But, she’d like to think that’s what made her so successful for the last decade. Katara was insistent on testing her clothing company’s new batch of athletic clothing. She scaled a mountain range in the sweat resistant hoodie. She swam in Olympic sized pools in their innovative, competition ready swimsuit and swim cap matching set. Of course, it made sense to test their new paragliding uniform. At the time.

“ Don’t move. This field is full of landmines,” Zuko warns, putting out his hand to stop the shaking girl. He sees it in her eyes, the way she’s about to run after he’s managed to catch up to her, and unknowingly blow this entire shit up. “They’re grey and round, or shaped like a box that—”

“Like the one you’re stepping on, right now?” Katara smirks, hands coming to her hips to taunt him.

He freezes, hands coming out to balance himself at the edge of the stream she’s managed to leap across.

“Again, I am a bad bitch. These won’t kill me. You won’t kill me.” She snatches his walkie talkie from his jacket’s pocket, and thinks about just taking it and letting the guy who almost fucking shot her suffer. She decides against it (she didn’t want to get on God’s, or Rihanna’s, bad side today) and sets it down on the ground in front of him. He’s left to watch her expertly leap around a few stray explosives.

“If ‘bad bitch’ means missing a few limbs, sure. Go ahead ,” Zuko baits. She happily gives him the bird, before running as fast as she could in her Yeezy Boost 350s. Running even when she hears gunshots whizzing past her. Running even when she sees a sign, warning about a field of landmines.

She runs until her vision becomes blurry, and all she can hear are little children chanting a song about the Fire Nation’s greatness. She runs, even when her body feels like lead, and her eyes are a hair’s breadth away from shutting.

He doesn’t know why he helps her. Why he wants her to get out of here alive. Why he scoops her up once soldiers began flooding the village she stumbled upon. They were making sure everyone was doing their part in singing the national anthem before the enforced curfew. She should’ve been shot to death by now by his men, or at least mauled by a wild lion vulture.

He just doesn’t understand it. Their forces were meant to kill , trained to shoot anything at the border on sight. He doesn’t understand how this five foot nothing girl had outrun men who have trained in the military for nearly their whole lives. His army was sloppy that day. Most of them were still drunk off of whatever cactus juice and homemade wine combination the ladies at the local village had offered to them. Then again, it wasn’t every day someone decided to paraglide during the biggest storm of the decade. It wasn’t every day someone managed to cross into the Fire Nation, when no one wanted to be there for decades .

He doesn’t understand why he pulled her close to his body at the sight of the military’s trucks, and runs them into his house at the edge of the hill. He doesn’t understand why he spent the last three hours painstakingly cooking up noodles from scratch for her. She takes a quick nap on an old sleeping mat he found while he works diligently. His stomach protests the fragrant aroma. He hasn’t eaten a homemade meal in months.

“People literally steal and sell my pubic hairs on eBay. The average price is one grand for a single strand. I deserve better,” Katara says. He thinks it’s completely in jest. She cackles when he glares at her. The smile she sends him tries to relay that she's grateful, but he’s hardly swayed by her charms. Instead, he’s scoffing at the efforts.

A first for her.

She’s used to getting her way, as an expert at manipulation. When you’ve spent your whole life ruthlessly competing to run one of the largest corporations in the world, you couldn’t afford to be sweet or gentle or genuine. You learned to work people, bend them to your will until they snap. Then, you move on. Find someone else, do the old song and dance again.

Before she could even lift a chopstick, Zuko quickly grabs the bowl from her grasp, a pout forming on his lips. While he was always taught to school his features, he always knew he was no good at it.

“I will continue to do what I’ve been doing for the last two hours, and just ignore everything you’ve been saying,” he mutters, sipping at the broth to her dismay. The second she walked in, she called his house “a hut with a dick in it.” When he instructed her to take a shit in the outhouse, she didn't speak to him for the next hour. He thinks he saw her tear up when he mentioned there was no Internet. He swears he was ten seconds away from busting a vein.

“ Ugh . Room temperature water?” Zuko guffaws once her nose crinkles up in disgust.

He blows a stray strand of his hair away from his face. “There are no ice cubes.” She hates how everything he says is so matter of fact.

“Get some, then.” she says, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. “I don’t drink ice cube-less water.”

He just laughs. “Right, when we get any sort of electricity first, I’ll make it my number one priority to get a fridge that dispenses ice cubes engraved with your perfectly detailed portrait on them, too.”

Katara shoves at him, and he just stares at the spot on his chest she touched. “For future reference, I am vegan. Well, vegan adjacent. But still. The point is I am a delicate flower with an even more delicate diet. A delicate flower that’s used to caviar and organic shit and the rich people gluten-free bread you get from Trader Joe’s. So I’ll excuse it this time, but the next time you make something please remember.” She follows up the command with a sweet smile, as though it made up for her demands.

The memory of her dodging bullets with a branch in her hair easily comes up in his mind. “Nothing about you is delicate.” Zuko barely budges when she tries reaching for the bowl again.

Katara gasps. “Even my bowel movements are delicate!”

He just snorts.

She’s annoying, he decides. All brattiness considered. Even with her tiny frame drowning in her dirty paragliding uniform, and a pout that has him wanting to laugh. The way she moves is dainty, with the self-assurance only those who grew up in comfort have. But, something about her eyes reveal something crueler, something so much more vicious underneath the soft exterior.

He was thoroughly out of options. While he has her holed up in his house until they decide an escape route, he feels his stomach churning at the thought of the Fire Nation’s regular surprise house inspections. Turning her over to the government meant a quick and easy execution for him and his men without question, and the potential to cause even more political strain with the rest of the world. Even if they do hand her to the government, there’s no telling what they would do to her.

He tries to blink the sleep out of his eyes, rubbing at them as thought it could end the nightmare he found himself trapped in.

For the last few years, Zuko’s life was a monotonous routine.

“Type 63 Rifle, Soviet SKS carbine,” Zuko breathes, ears perking up at the sound of the weapon. His hand comes out to halt the hordes of men. “One of us. Retreat,” he barked, arms motioning for his battalion to return to their hidden positions among the dwindling flora and fauna. Months in his uniform without rest, months spent guarding the border to ensure no one left.

He doesn’t remember much about his life before this. He tries to forget, because it made him too sad. It made him want to do something reckless, to break something, to even cry , because he’s long forgotten anything but getting up, getting into uniform, getting into routine.

It was his duty, as the only son of the Fire Nation’s notorious military director.

He was trained to be a war wielding machine. To show no mercy. Men in the Fire Nation weren’t meant to be weak . They weren’t allowed to be soft.

His mother tried to get away from all of it. She tried as hard as she could to tell her children there was a life you could feel beat with all of your heart, as long as cruelty didn’t find it first. She knew Zuko wasn’t meant for this life.

Zuko knew, too.

He was never good at anything, never the best one growing up. While he excelled at delivering blows, or wielding his swords, he was always told his mind was a pathetic thing. Too brash, too naive. Azula was always the better one at that. At violence. She was their father’s right hand, her thoughts filled to the brim with genius strategy. Always one step ahead of everyone else, even as a toddler.

Zuko was content to be in the background, to be nothing more than a decoration when the family portrait needed to be taken. He wants to be selfish, to blame Azula for pressing pause on his life. The day she was assassinated was the day his dreams of forgetting the Fire Nation all but shriveled up. After all, tradition mandated the military director had a blood successor.

“I am not going to put back on my dirty underwear after I shower! I am not a Bhad Bhabie type of bitch,” Katara indignantly spits out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Zuko rolls his eyes. Everything she says is confusing .

“Don’t act up while I’m gone,” Zuko begs.

“Like the City Girls?”

She feels her blood boil at his silence.

“Please tell me you’re lying. Please tell me you’ve heard of ‘Act Up.’ Please. Don’t let me down now.”

“I have no—”

“Seriously, where were you all summer? ‘Act up, you can get snatched up?’ Nothing? Nothing rings a fucking bell?” He can’t help but sweat.

Even when he looked up whatever she says on his work computer (the only time people in the Fire Nation were allowed to use the Internet) he still can’t wrap his head around what exactly a Bhad Bhabie was.

“Then don’t wear underwear. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

She holds the landline phone close to her mouth, as if to make the message clearer. “Where will the pussy juices go then!”

Zuko hangs up on her, only to have her call him precisely 12 minutes later.

“My right nipple is chafing. What about my nipple eczema!” She protests. She feels her face shriveling up. Without her Yves Saint Laurent Firming Serum, she feels like a piece of her identity was missing. He had diligently informed her to use his sole bar of soap for all purposes before he left for work, and she nearly fainted on the spot.

“Tell it to go away, I guess?” Zuko suggests, trying his hardest to sound helpful. He tried leaving detailed notes on how to take a hot bath by pouring boiling water in his basin, and clipping the plastic shower curtain to the ceiling, trapping the heat in. He prays she hasn’t burned down his house, or someone hasn’t seen her through the gate.

“I can’t!” Katara seethes.

Zuko rubs at his temples. “This was meant for only emergencies. Goodbye !” Zuko slams the phone, returning to his paperwork. He feels a hot blush spreading across his cheeks, and tries to bring his hand up to his face to alleviate the warm feeling.

She doesn’t know why he’s so nice to her.

When she’s all but threatened him and blackmailed his entire crew to keep their silence and help her escape.

She simply laughs, the sound foreign to even her own ears. Her empty stomach painfully clenched in protest at the sudden sensation. It had to be some sort of sick joke. A sick fucking joke probably crafted up by Pakku! Or some of those man-children from the Northern Tribes who think they know a thing or two because they took a Marketing 101 crash course on Khan Academy!

She needed to get back for the big shareholders meeting. They were going to announce the new CEO of Moon Tech, the largest corporation in the Water Tribes. It was everything she had been working for her entire life. She couldn’t afford to miss it, lest it show any weakness whatsoever. As the most viable successor, she was sure all eyes were watching her every move. Yet, somehow, she managed to end up on the set of a period piece gone wrong. A miserable, yet probably Academy Award winning, period piece that smelled like moose knuckle pussy pickle.

She looked to the closed door, the flimsy thing separating the minute living room from his even smaller bedroom. She felt guilty for misjudging him upon their first meeting.

She thinks she feels more guilty for breaking his favorite vase.

“C’mon! That was my favorite ficus,” he grumbles, rubbing the spot on his head she broke the vase on. He avoids her gaze because she’s clad in one of his old dress shirts and nothing else, the thing coming to fall at her knees. If he blushes any harder, he thinks she might notice. Her hair is wrapped up in a messy updo and her face is scrubbed clean. The faintest tint of pink dusts across her cheeks.

“Sorry,” she whispers, hand coming to rub at the spot. She was nervous hearing someone wiggle the doorknob when he hadn’t come back well into the night. Why he had three locks on his door and used exactly none of them, she wasn’t quite sure. She thought she was being helpful by locking his doors. Until it was becoming apparent he didn’t care enough to carry his keys with him, and had an additional unlocked back door he was just attacked at.

He swats her away swiftly, body mechanically programmed to attack for coming so close to him. He’s body slammed bigger men for breathing through their mouths. But something stops him abruptly, and he stills when she comes closer, roughly grabbing at his head between her two hands, and bringing it to her eye level. “A slight bump will form, but it’ll go away faster if you soak some rice and press here,” she precisely finds the swelling area. He winces when he feels the pressure.

Her eyes are impossibly wide while she watches him, and he can’t help but shrink at her careful stare. This was the quietest she’s been since she crash landed. He feels unsettled. “I—I got you some stuff.” He places the bag gently in front of her, a now familiar flush coming to pepper his cheeks. “I’m going to go to bed now,” he lies, retreating to his room while still rubbing at his head.

“Thanks,” her voice is barely a whisper, and stops him in his tracks. He turns to her, and her smile is so genuine. Her eyes are swelling with joy and it makes his heart ache. It seemed easier to talk to her that night than in the day. There wasn’t an impossible front to break open to see how she was feeling, the moonlight peeking through the cracks in the wall seemed to make her eyes wider, smile brighter even. Her guard is down and it makes emotions easier to decipher.

She thinks she can’t feel her face when she opens the bag. “I’m such a bitch,” she babbles to herself as she opens the boxes of shampoo, conditioner, and even signature Water Tribe moisturizers. Everything she complained about he managed to remember to a T. He even got her some traditional Fire Nation women’s outfits, even when she was only staying for the next couple of days. The tears pricking at her eyes feel foreign. She could afford private jets to fly to Beverly Hills and start a fist fight with Kim Kardashian just because she hit Kourtney in season 18. A couple dollars worth of smuggled products shouldn’t make her a weepy mess. Somehow though, she feels herself unable to dim the smile plastered across her face.

Zuko wants to jump for joy. Though, he resists the urge when getting up too fast makes his head bump feel like it has a second heartbeat. He spent the better part of his evening at the open air marketplace a few blocks from the village. It was worth enduring the questioning glances from the shop vendors. Even when he felt like crawling in a hole and dying as he hastily gestured he wanted to purchase women’s underwear, it was all worth it when he’s lulled to sleep to the sound of Katara’s giggles.

“I think he just smiled.” Mako whisper-screams. Nearly all the jaws in the mess hall drop open.

“You’re lying ,” a voice squeaks out. The dozens of heads seem to collectively turn towards their captain. Their stomachs churned at seeing living proof of the small smirk on his face. He’s distracted. Staring off into the distance, he’s just picking at the meager helpings of his lunch on his plate.

For all intents and purposes, Zuko was boring . He was a stick in the mud, the kind of guy you saw laugh once or twice a year for obligatory purposes, just to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t a robot assigned by the government to spy on soldiers.

He was a captain who delivered orders, and nothing more. A strict, by the book kind of guy. The team knew little to nothing about him. They weren’t even sure he used the bathroom like a normal human being (half of them were betting money on the robot theory). They just weren’t close like that. They weren’t the type of team to be able to joke around with their captain, share their stories, bleed their heart out on the military field. They knew the scar on his face meant he had pissed off some higher ranking officials who still possessed the power to firebend, a sacred art limited to the few. It meant there was more to the story than just a bumbling captain of a lower ranked crew. The most they got out of him was once in a while he would startle a young kid, who was just trying to get his mandated service over with. He’d clap them on the shoulder and would murmur a low “Good job.” (His definition of keeping up team morale).

He was efficient at his job, and good at keeping his men safe, rarely raising his voice to anyone except maybe himself. More than what they could say for other captains. He was hard on his men, but harder on himself. It was rare to see him doing anything but stress .

Smiling ? Simply out of the question.

He couldn’t help it! It was an automatic reaction to the morning he had.

“Thank you, for everything,” Katara says quietly, placing the tray of food on his night stand. She knew he had to get to the military base in the wee hours of the morning, and also knew she wasn’t going to wake up in time without her vibrating mattress alarm clock. So she pulls an all nighter, and tries to figure out how to use the tools and contraptions at her disposal. She didn’t mean to startle him, she swears. She has to stifle a laugh when he wakes up with a start. Eyes slowly peeling open, the eye crust obstructing his view. His hair is facing every which way. He looks younger, somehow. The messy hair, the wrinkled shirt, and drool he makes a quick job of wiping away.

“What’s this?” He peers up at her curiously, placing the tray in his lap.

“My labor of love.” She insists, sitting even closer to him on his bed. She thinks she likes it when he squirms under her gaze. For all the military get up with metallic shoulders, and the endless medals pinned to his uniforms, he was just a boy under it all. “I know, I haven’t been the most...easy guest to have.” She ignores his snort. “After all of this over, after the Fire Nation opens up its borders again, I promise you. I will pay you ten times what this hut with a dick is worth. Because…” she breathes in, looking unsure of herself. “I’ll never forget your kindness.”

“T—Thank you,” he stutters. He thinks they’re empty promises, but doesn’t try to question them too hard. It shouldn’t be possible for his heart to pulse as fast as it does, but it seems to be mesmerized by how much wider her smile was able to get. The noodles are misshapen, probably because of her inexperience with the old-fashioned machine. The broth is salty and makes Zuko’s throat beg for a glass of water. And yet, he slurps up the entire dish without complaint.

Anything to see her eyes light up.

“The first boob I ever saw was in Titanic . Haven’t seen one since. Waiting for Titanic 2 to come out.” Mako says proudly, puffing out his chest. He hoped his extensive knowledge of non-Fire Nation films would entertain Katara. Zuko’s few trusted men (mainly the ones who were responsible for letting her escape in the first place) were instructed to keep her safe while he sorted out the plans for her escape. Iroh was able to set up a clandestine arrangement with a ship leaving the Fire Nation docks for their semi annual pickup of Earth Nation goods. They were hoping she could sneak through to the Earth Nation, and explain her situation with customs there.

“Buddy, I got some news for you.” Katara smirks, and the boys grow nervous. She was pretty. The type of pretty that made people stare, wondering if it was possible for someone’s eyes to twinkle in the sunlight. She looked like one of those celebrities in the movies he loved. Talked like one, too. In the Fire Nation, she was the type of pretty where guys would be bartering an entire village just to get a chance to look at her. Though, just from talking with her, she seemed like the type of girl who would hide in her house after gaining said village, just to spite them.

Mako was curious about the Water Nation. Their schools taught them that Azulon was an elite magical creature that somehow never needed to take a shit, and people in the other nations defecated three times the amount of Fire Nation folk. He always knew something was up. Everyone was constantly smuggling goods from all the other nations, especially from the Water Nation. There were automatic rice cookers that played a song when it finished making perfect rice, and little boxes that could play music when you press it. Mako always knew there was so much more out there than people in the Fire Nation could ever know.

She tells them stories of her life in the Water Tribes as they wait for Zuko, and she pointedly ignores the scoffs and disbelief. “There are toilets that shoot out water into your ass crack to clean it?”

“You can adjust the settings and everything!” She proclaims, pride filling every one of her words. “Warm, cool, even inconsistent spurts if you’re into that shit.”

They all make a noise of amazement. “That’s incredible .” She talks about sky rises, and business meetings with rich people, and showers that turn on with a drop of a hat.

“What’s a Rihanna again? Is that your God?”

“Yes.” Katara answers, with no hesitation. “See, she is the baddest in the land—”

“Wait!” Bolin abruptly stops her. “I thought that was your God...Megan Thee Stallion?”

“She’s the thiccest of them all.” Katara punctuated with a click of her tongue. “I thought we went over this!”

“Sorry,” they grunt, looking especially sheepish.

“What does she preach?” Kai inquires, eyes growing wide with delight.

Katara taps her lip, eyes coming up to the ceiling trying to concentrate. “She’s a goddess who empowers women! She tries to get everyone to build their knee strength. I think one of her sayings is ‘I need a Mr. Clean, make that pussy beam,’” Katara .

Zuko watches on, leaning on the door frame. He wants to hate the fact that he’ll miss her.

Everything was supposed to be easy at this point.

“Don’t forget about me.” She holds onto his arm as they sit against the edge of the fishing vessel, the waves impatiently slapping against them. He was supposed to bid her farewell at the dock, but something in him wanted to guarantee she was able to get on the second boat to the Earth Nation.

He’s still clad in one of his more formal uniforms. He still feels the chill of the night scraping through the fabric of his double breasted blazer.

Katara openly welcomes the cold, after nearly sweltering to death every second she’s been in the Fire Nation.

He lets his smile reach his eyes. “How could I forget a girl who nearly crushed me to death with her crotch.”

Her guffaw has the captain, Jeong Jeong, even startled. “Right.” She looks off into the distance, and can’t remember a time when she’s ever been surrounded by this much water. “My name’s Katara, by the way.”

Zuko feels a pang in his chest. “Zuko.”

“Nice to meet you, Zuko,” she whispers, holding her hand out to shake his. It feels warm when he grabs at the dainty thing.

“I hope we meet again. Maybe, in another life, Katara.”

“Really?” For a moment, he hears a twinge of sadness in her voice. It could be his mind or his heart making it up, but he swears he hears it.

“Really.”

Everything was going according to plan. Everything was supposed to go smoothly.

Until they’re both panic-sweating underneath the ship in its cargo hold, trying to come up with a plan to fend off the Coast Guard officers stopping all ships sailing past curfew.

“Do something! Doesn’t the military tell you to do something in this case? Or are you guys just trained in the art of being ugly and having anger issues?”

Zuko wracks his brain. “Why don’t you help me?”

“What happens if I don’t?” Katara angrily mutters.

“You’ll deal with the consequences,” Zuko shrugs, too entirely calm. He was a natural in intense situations, but even he could feel his hands shaking.

“That’s just diet ‘ I hope this bitch dies !’”

“Oops,” Zuko sneers.

Katara huffs. “The fact that men can breathe just doesn’t sit right with my soul.” Katara wants to strangle him.

A lightbulb seemingly goes off in his head. Something Mako said about the non-Fire Nation films and stories was always a fool proof “Get out of jail” card.

“Kiss me,” he says without any uncertainty.

“Are you huffing cactus juice, bitch?”

“Just do it!” Zuko practically screams when he hears the door opening. She presses her lips to his chapped ones, and his hands naturally come to her waist. He’s lost in the feeling of her plush lips, how incredibly soft her body was that he ignores the screams of Coast Guard officers.

“What the fuck was that!” They question Jeong Jeong, who simply shrugs. The officers promptly drop the cargo door in shock.

She slaps his face, his cheek already reddening in mere moments.

“What was that for?” Zuko grumbles, stroking his face.

“You’re a freak!”

He narrows his eyes. “I prefer a ‘you’re welcome,’ but that doesn’t seem to be in your vocabulary.” He felt like his entire body was tingling, but Katara could only focus on the fact he was swiping at his lips with the back of his hand.

“Hey! You should be thanking Rihanna you got a chance to kiss me! If you weren’t so colonized you would realize I am one of the most beautiful women in the world!” Katara petulantly reminds.

“I think it’s because you got diarrhea all over my one of my favorite t-shirts that I am doubting that claim.”

Katara sulks, confident form shrinking. “I forgot to boil the water one time, sue me.”

He can’t stop his laugh from taking over his whole body. He’s about to help her up when he hears, “Open it up again!”

This time, Katara fully pushes him down among the boxes of cargo, straddling his lap, and violently mashes her lips to his.

“Get the fuck up here!” Someone screams. Katara lets up on the kiss so Zuko could peer up at the officers. He feels his ears overheating.

“She’s my fiancé.” He hastily explains, once they were on deck. In between their masks, they stare down at Katara, who bites on her tongue, and puts up an act of a bashful bride-to-be. She holds onto his arm with a vice grip, ducking her head behind his broad shoulders.

“They were going on a romantic sight seeing trip,” Jeong Jeong provides, sweat beating down his back.

Katara nods enthusiastically. “We just couldn’t wait for the wedding to have a little fun .” She grins intenerally at their coughs of discomfort and Zuko’s bewildered gaze.

They check Zuko’s identification card, before nodding in understanding.

“Fine,” one officer bites out. He stares at Katara for a beat too long as though he’s reading her thoughts. It makes her uneasy. “Turn it back, and don’t come out past curfew anymore. They’ve implemented new standards for ships.” Jeong Jeong nods in understanding, and jumps to the helm in no time. But, Zuko could sense the panic vibrating off of Katara.

She turns to see the second ship waiting in the distance, her ticket to freedom a few feet away.

“We’re not done with date night!” She insists, coming out to try to stop the officer. Zuko holds her back, eyes pleading with her. “But—I—there has to be some other way.” She’s shaking like a leaf, even when Zuko throws his blazer over her bare shoulders.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be stuck feeding him heartburn medication like they are tic tacs,” Katara says to no one. She’s pacing nervously around the living room, and Zuko’s trying his best to come up with something to comfort her. His head is in his hands, and he’s since loosened his top knot to let his hair fall.

“Katara, I am only two years older than you,” he gently reminds.

“...And then I heard dentures always smell no matter how hard you clean them.”

“Katara I swear—,”

She gasps. “Oh my god, we have to start thinking of retirement homes.”

Things were supposed to be easy.

A spontaneous house check was something the village’s residents were accustomed to. They gathered outside their homes as soldiers began rifling through their things. Parents simply stood about, discussing the new books they had to buy for their kids for the upcoming semester.

Nothing was entirely out of the blue. Yet, the elusive military captain just had to show up to the front of his house, hand in hand with a blue-eyed girl.

A gun was promptly pointed in her face. “Oh shit. Bitch, not this again.”

“This house was registered for one resident.” General Zhao’s lip curls. “State your name and occupation.”

General Zhao had overheard a certain military director’s son was busted trying to get some punani on the seven seas.

It’s not that he hated Zuko, per say. Their relationship was more of a “ regularly abusing Zuko’s privacy to fulfill a personal agenda because of the bloodthirsty desire for power ” type of thing. Normal things. Maybe , it was influenced by the fact he got wind of Zuko pressuring his higher ups to further investigate his sister’s assasination. He wasn’t entirely sure.

“Look here, I have information that could lead to the arrest of Nicki Minaj. So why don’t you, I don’t know. Let me go ! I promise I’ll tell you everything I know about Ms. Nincki,” she lowly breathes, a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows only making the soldiers around her even more heated.

“Shut the fuck up!” A soldier screams behind her, poking her head with the gun. Katara couldn’t help the whimper that passed her lips. For the first time in her life, she thinks she feels genuine fear.

Zuko pushes past the guards holding him back, throwing them to the ground. Without missing a beat, he takes her hand in his. “Get your fucking gun out of my fiancé’s face!” He roars. Gasps reverberate around the villagers. This was the loudest and longest they’ve ever heard Zuko speak. “She works for the government as part of Division 11,” he explains, letting his voice settle into its usual rasp. Everybody visibly recoils.

A highly secretive sector of the government virtually no one , not even General Zhao had access to. They were agents deployed in different nations, with the goal of collecting information about the culture. It would’ve explained Katara’s Water Tribe accent, and the lack of her identification papers.

General Zhao pushes past Zuko, staring him down and grumbling with his men following behind.

The women of the village instantly make way to collect around Katara. Noses turned up at her like she was shit on a brick. No, they couldn’t give a shit about her. They had rushed into their houses after the announcement, and came back to ply Zuko with trays of food.

“For our handsome Zuko finally getting hitched!” The fake smiles make Katara want to stab herself. She swiftly reaches for Zuko’s hand, much to his confusion, and lays her head on his shoulder.

“Baby, let’s go inside. I’m cold,” she feigns through her teeth. Her puppy dog eyes make him feel like he’s in high school. He numbly nods.

She thinks she hears someone’s grandma calling her a slut.

“Pick your head up king, your hairline is receding,” Katara worries her lip at seeing his current state. She doesn’t think he’s slept all night, and he has papers and maps with highlighter marks and red circles all around him on his bed.

It’s been a few days since his big announcement to the village, and it feels better to be able to get outside. Breathe from the confines from Zuko’s dingy house. Even among the whispers and stares from people, the villagers weren’t all bad. The women sometimes drop by to invite her over to cook with them, and the kids bring her only the nicer rocks they’ve managed to dig through the dirt for.

“I just want to get you home.” He practically grunts. She’s holding a cup of tea for him, and he gulps it down as if it was Rihanna’s boob sweat. “I don’t want you to stay here for even a second longer.”

“Thanks!” Katara sends him a sardonic smile.

Fuck . He always knew how to put his foot in his mouth when he’s around her. “No, uh. Not like that. This place is a hell hole, and I just want you to get back. It’s not safe for you, for anyone here.” She pats his back gently when he starts choking on the tea, trying to get all his words out. He’s so sweet, the way he just quietly tries to draft out a plan while he thinks she’s asleep. She hears him curse whenever a pen snaps with the pressure he applies. With how many times he sighs through the night, she feels guilty.

She’s entirely too comfortable around Zuko, he decides. She lays in bed next to him and he hopes she doesn't notice the way he’s grown warm with her presence. He craves it too much these days. “You know what, the one thing I’ve learned through all of this is that the first thing I’m going to do when I come back is shutting down Chrissy Teigen’s Twitter.”

“Not visit your friends and family?” Zuko asks, amusement dancing across his features.

“That can come second,” Katara asserts.

Life wasn’t completely terrible. Sure, she cries the moment Zuko leaves the house because she’s sure she’s going to die in this shit fuck of place and never get to her money’s worth of her one year HelloFresh subscription. But she has complete faith in Zuko’s abilities.

“It’s like during The Amazing Race Season 17 when those two vegetarian doctors ate a goat’s head to win. I think their names were Kat and Nat.”

“The point?” Zuko tries his best to sound exasperated.

“The point is, I’ll learn how to adapt for the next week or so. I promise, it’s not all that terrible!” Zuko doesn’t trust her uneasy, twitching eyes, but nods all the same.

“Hold my hand, motherfucker!” She beams under the attention of the villagers, most of them scoffing when she does her daily send off routine. When Zuko leaves for work, she is insistent on performing their cute couple duties to piss off old people (her other favorite pastime). “Did you remember to bring your water bottle today, stupid bitch?”

“I think I’d like this more if you asked nicely,” he groused. He likes how small her hand fits in his, but he thinks he’ll boil shoelaces and eat them before he would admit it.

She’s made one friend, at least. Ty Lee, a girl whose parents are trying to marry her off by the next summer. The older women side eyed her just the same, thinking her big ole titties were too big of a distraction among the eligible men in the village.

“It came as a shock to us, we still think Zuko is a robot,” Ty Lee admits over a bowl of beef stew. Katara nearly chokes at the spice level. “It’s too bad you’re marrying a lower ranked officer. I know this guy who’s way up there! You could do so much better . I think his name’s Chan!”

“So, Zuko’s basically a nobody here?”

“Pretty much,” the girl states it like it’s a known fact. “He doesn’t do much, to be honest. But he’s all the old ladies’ favorites because he’s cute and moody . Fuck that, give me communication , you know what I mean?”

Katara could already feel the cogs whirring to life in her brain. “Thanks for letting me know, Ty Lee!” Her chirpy tone has the girl smiling as well. Good, her acting skills haven’t gone rusty. “How come when Zuko makes beef stew, it’s never spicy?” She wipes her nose with a napkin Ty Lee had given her after noticing the impending waterfall of snot.

Ty Lee ponders it for a second. “Sorry, babe. This is the most mild recipe you can make in the Fire Nation. I didn’t realize you couldn't handle it. Maybe he’s just remixing a classic?”

Katara tries to hold back her smile. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Babies are broke,” Katara glares at the child in her lap, who only curls in closer to her.

“Oh my god.” Zuko lets the little boy play with his hair when he wasn’t suffocating Katara’s neck with his other arm.

“They live in your head and your house rent free. And then they have the audacity to stare at you in their weak ass outfits,” she points out. They’re both squeezed together on a sofa barely holding itself together, and forced to watch over the birthday boy.

“Don’t be mad. It’s entirely your fault Chungha’s kid laughed so hard it barfed on you.”

Katara’s exhausted laugh makes Zuko forget his tiredness all the same. “Don’t call the baby an ‘it!’”

Zuko lets the kid bite on his finger, and grabs him from Katara’s hands when he begins tugging on her dress straps. “I still can’t believe you taught Chungha’s daughter to ‘not be the bigger person, and punch a bitch!’ And Chungha still invited you to her son’s party.”

“Talk shit, get hit. Basic stuff.”

He had to admit, coming home and immediately being dragged to a baby’s birthday celebration was not how he saw his night going. Especially after hours of grueling paperwork.

“He’s two ,” Zuko lets out an annoyed huff.

“And what about it, bitch?” Katara growls. She has her hair in a complicated updo, complete with the Fire Nation hair ties he recently picked up for her.

He tries to hide the fact he enjoys this far too much. Domestic things. Things like coming home from work to banter with her. Cooking for Katara while she’s busy socializing with the older wives. He heard from Mako that Katara spends most of her day with the married women. Her plan was to try to move him up the ranks of the military ladder by getting to the lieutenant’s wives first.

When she’s home and finished washing up, she takes his dress shirts as though they were her’s and wears them to bed. After she’s passed out on the sleeping mat in the living room, he makes it a habit to carry her to the mattress in his room.

“My bad back likes the hard floor,” he would insist when she would protest.

He thinks he’s a goner when she even starts trying to make Fire Nation snacks for his lunches. He packs them himself, but somehow misses the minute containers that make their way into his pail. Even if the container somehow always breaks because she forgets to close it properly and he ends the day smelling like fish sauce, he likes it.

He knows he must be fucking crazy, pretending this was all real. Maybe he was delusional and reading too much into her actions. Maybe he was a fucking idiot. But for a moment, it was easy to pretend he’s a few months away from marrying a pretty girl. A pretty girl busy spending the night playing around with babies they could one day have together.

He shakes the thought from his head, physically moving his head to make it permeate even deeper. She was going to be back home, safe and sound soon. It was better not to get attached.

She makes it so fucking hard, though. Especially when she’s wiping away at the creases in his brow before bed. Or asking him through the closed bedroom door to tell her it’s going to be ok, to talk to her until she falls asleep because she likes the sound of his voice.

She’s a stone cold bitch. A bitch that could fight with her Swarovski crystal acrylics, and come out virtually unscathed. Someone needs to explain to her exactly why she was crying like a James Charles fake apology video for being a racist at the sight of Chungha’s kid bouncing about, flinging his boogers in her face.

“Maybe if I pray to Azulon hard enough, you guys could have your own little bundle of joy soon!” Chungha exclaims, holding the baby as tight as she could.

After all, when you almost lose a kid, every moment you’re blessed with their breath never feels like enough. You never want to spend another moment away from them. It’s a miracle his fever broke in time for his birthday. Their family couldn’t afford to go to the doctor, with hospitals being a four hour bike ride away.

“Yeah, sure.” Katara barely could hear her over Yoonjn’s gleeful squeals.

“I’ll tell Bomi to pray for you guys, too. After what Azulon did for her little Sana, you’ll be pregnant in no time!”

Katara just squeezes at the baby’s chubby cheek.

“You’re going to kill yourself.” Katara flinches at Zuko’s voice piercing through the quiet night. He’s leaning up against the wall, and emerges from the shadows because he’s dramatic and needed the added effect. She doesn’t miss the way he limps while clutching his side.

“Shut up .” She throws her straw hat at the ground, and flings herself across the sleeping mat, face down. “I’ve had a long night.”

He wants to be angry with her. He wants to scream at her. He was livid .

“What if you got caught, huh? You could’ve been executed .” Zuko knew it wasn’t a coincidence. That the rumors of a spirit going around healing people in the village coincided with someone’s sudden appearance. He thinks the sight of Katara effortlessly waterbending is permanently etched into his memory. The way her face was blissed out, the element easily submitting to her every will.

Katara knows he’s just worried for her. She knows the occasional rustle of the branches was more than a breeze. But, all she sees is red. “Sounds rich, coming from you ! What’s your name again? Sorry, my bad. I didn’t know ‘The Blue Spirit’ was a silent vowel in the name ‘Zuko!’”

He waits a beat, before turning to face her. She has his mask in hand, an angry glare screwing her features.

“How did you—who did—?” His brain was apparently as smooth as Howie Mandel’s head when he needed its help the most. At least he knows where his mask went.

“My mind is as strong as the Twitter men trying to get Doja Cat to show us her titties.” She rolls her eyes when she sees Zuko pondering. “You leave your Dao swords on display in the living room, and the mask is underneath your bed. I don’t know, let me ask the audience.”

“Oh.”

Katara flicks his forehead.

“At least I’m not walking around with some face paint thinking I’m helping these people!”

She scoffs. “But I am! They’re too sick to afford medication. To even go to the hospital. If they make it, no one wants to help them! You’re telling me I have to just watch them die!”

Zuko sighs. “You’re giving them hope !”

“In this dumpster fire of a place, yeah! I fucking am! What’s wrong with that? Tell me!” She challenges. She comes up nose to nose with Zuko, eyes darting and impatiently waiting for an answer.

“What are these people going to do when you’re gone?” What am I going to do when you’re gone? “They think the Painted Lady is real !”

“Let them!” She huffs. “What about you, huh? Going around stealing from the rich to bring back to the villagers? You think you’re any better? You’re going to get killed!”

Zuko scoffs. “You’re missing the point. The difference between you and me? I’m perfectly fine with dying.”

Katara grabs his face in between her hands, anger vanishing. “Zuko, don’t say that.”

“Why the fuck not? Maybe I want to fucking die!” He shouts, ripping his head out of her grasp. “Maybe I’m hoping to get caught!”

“...Why?” Katara croaks.

“ You don’t get it !” He screams. Time seemed to stop when tears fell from Zuko’s eyes. Even when he’s angry, he’s never been this loud with Katara before. He wants to take it all back, stop himself.

She’s at a loss for words. “Zuko, I—”

“This place is a fucking dead end. No one’s going to save us. The Fire Nation doesn’t care about us. The Fire Nation could give less of a fuck. You can’t let people think there’s hope when it’s all a fucking lie !” He laughs, the bitter sound foreign to her. “You know, it’s normal to pray for an early death here. You pray that it’s painless. It’s easier to die than live every day trapped in this reality.”

He loses his grip on the countertop he was leaning on for support. Katara moves to catch him before he falls, and lays him as gently as possible on top of the mat. She makes quick work to heal the gash at his side. A result of following her during her rounds, and fighting off any robbers trying their luck in the night.

“I thought you were the Kris Jenner of the Southern Water Tribe?” He squeezes out, trying to get her to laugh. She’s touched he remembered her Kardashian-Jenner clan rants. (He’s been Team Stormi since day one.) Then again, he seems to remember every little detail about her. “A businesswoman, right? Didn’t know you were a master waterbender on top of all of that.”

She snorts, and wipes away her own tears before he could open his eyes again. “I was a paramedic. I wanted to run a clinic at one point.” Zuko winces at the intensity of the water cooling his wound. “Growing up, I hated the business world. It was all backstabbing and boring bitches. But sometimes, it’s easier.” She’s silent for a while, focused only on the healing process.

“I—I couldn’t save a lot of people,” her voice drops down to a barely audible whisper, and her brows furrow.

They’re shoulder to shoulder on the mat after she wraps up his cut. They’re staring up at the cracks of his ceiling.

“Do you ever miss it?” Zuko rasps.

“Bending?”

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes.” She lets silence fill the air for a moment. “ It’s second nature to me. Fuck, I was bending before I could even talk. Is it bad that I gave up on it? Is it bad it makes me sick to my stomach?”

Something she loved, she couldn’t stand to do again.

She couldn’t save her mom. She couldn’t save her niece. What was the point anymore?

He wraps his hand around hers.

“What do you think we would have been like, in another life?” Zuko groans, laying down beside Katara. She’s sprawled out, still taking in heavy breaths after breaking into an intense run. His side still aches. He thinks his arm is broken from fighting off the soldiers while carrying the dozens of survivors.

The captain in a nearby village was sentenced to a public execution later in the week. He wanted to go out on his own terms and take his village with him, too. Trying to sacrifice people to the Gods above for forgiveness, he set the place ablaze.

It’s too bad The Painted Lady got wind of it first.

“Hm?” Katara hums, healing a cut on her face. “I’d like to think Katara in another life got to be normal. Like just owning a Chevy and living life without ever having to acknowledge Timothee Chalamat’s existence type of normal. She’s happy. She doesn’t develop an addiction to Prozac. She probably has a small white dog named Mochi that can fit into a knock-off Fendi purse.”

“Really? No butt-warming toilets in her life?”

“Nah. She could be the Mayor of Boo Boo the Foolville without any consequences.” She can’t recall a time when she’s felt so free. When her words flow out without carefully being measured. The stars feel like daylight. The expanses of the village’s nearby river tugging at her heart strings. “She could bend without constantly thinking of what could’ve been.”

“Zuko in another life would’ve been a piano player.” It still stings. Thinking about the future that could’ve been.

“Not a full time Blue Spirit?” She teases.

“Full time Blue Spirit doesn’t pay the bills, surprisingly.”

He turns his head and sees her nose crinkle. He’s sure it should be illegal for someone to be this beautiful.

“This kid I healed, he made his own Blue Spirit costume. He’s been wearing it every day, and treated it like it’s this season’s Versace,” Katara murmurs. He laughs, loud and unbridled.

“Yeah? I saw a bunch of little girls with their Painted Lady dolls.” They were holding onto them until their knuckles turned white, even with Zuko dangling them from his shoulders.

Katara’s heart swells. “I think I’m going to cry.”

Zuko nudges her shoulder with his when he hears her mock-sniffles.

“Did you know I told this guy ‘it’s time to evacuate!’ while he was mid-masturbation.”

Katara’s stomach is starting to hurt with how hard she’s squealing. “You’re lying ! Please, say sike!”

Zuko throws his hands up. “I couldn’t make this up even if I tried. He was all like, ‘You mean time to ejaculate!’” Zuko finishes the story in a dude-bro voice.

At this point, Katara was shaking uncontrollably, and it’s infectious. He can’t help laughing, too.

A beat of silence passes between the duo, too distracted by the night sky.

Zuko rubs a hand over his face, determined to stay awake to see her fall asleep.

“What would Zuko and Katara have been in another life?” Katara whispers wistfully.

He glances over to her, eyes heavy. “I think being us would have been easier, in another life.” Her light snores fill the air. “At least then, I could be by your side.”

He nudges her head until it fits securely in the crook of his shoulder.

“Sit there and look pretty!”

“No!”

“All I’m asking you to do is sit and blink!” Katara had run into a kid with a smuggled polaroid camera trying to snap photos of her. In return for not slicing open his urethra with a dull butter knife, she was trying to force him to take photos of Zuko. After all, she wanted a memento of her time with him.

The teen was nervously glanced between the two, the camera shaking in his grasp.

“I think I’m going to go find my mom…”

“Pussy bitch!” Katara screams at the running boy.

“Old ass hoe!” He yelps back.

Zuko knew it was a mistake taking Katara to the night market. As a celebration of the Mid-Autumn Festival, curfews were relaxed. The marketplace opened up to sell street food into the night. There’s singing, dancing, laughing, drinking. A night to forget, a night meant for happiness.

He thinks it’s ridiculous. The way she doesn’t notice the way guys look at her. He’s spent the better part of the night standing in front of her if any man was brave enough to glance in her general direction. At night, she was in her element, her smile was a blinding thing that made his heart race. She doesn’t pay any mind to anyone staring, to anyone trying to get her attention. She’s just taking in the little moments around her, eyes so bright and stares so wide. Like she’s afraid to miss a single detail with just a blink.

“Your breath smells like stupid bitch,” Katara points out after what had to be his 20th grunt of the night. She’s sure he’s holding her close to make sure they still played a newly engaged couple. She relishes in the attention all the same.

“Sorry.” He sulks like a child, and it makes Katara want to hug him.

She pecks his cheek and he freezes. “Look! He bought his girlfriend that potato on a stick thing!”

Zuko rushes off without any hesitation.

He picks the fire flakes off the potato slices before handing it to her. She practically inhales the snack, and he frets. He thinks she’s about to stab herself with the skewer. “Oh look!” She points to another couple, while pouting. “He won her a stuffed dragon.”

Zuko couldn’t stand to see her upset, even for a second.

When she’s hugging the plushie close to her, Zuko throws his arm around her. She stops in her tracks. “Oh my god! Is that ice cream—” He runs to find the vendor without even thinking.

“Number 43!” The vendor yelps. Zuko instantly recognizes the greasy teenager picking up the order in front of him.

“Give me the photos you took of my fiancé,” he says, panting. He practically ran at lightning speed to catch up to the kid, who intentionally rushed off after feeling Zuko glaring him down from a distance. The boy feels his bladder shaking.

“But—but you didn’t want a photo! You—” Zuko’s best menacing scowl had the kid scrambling through his pockets. “She could do better, you know!” He petulantly points out, before throwing the photo in the air and taking off.

Zuko lets himself smile after tucking Katara’s picture safely into his wallet. He knew he told himself he wouldn’t get attached. Not his fault she’s cast him under her spell.

He’s pouting. She’s struggling not to laugh in his face.

“This is mine, now.” He indignantly rips the toy of her hold, squishing it to his chest instead.

“Why?” she questions.

“If you want one so bad, ask Chan to win you one.” She straight up guffaws in his face. Zuko had caught Chan hugging her out of excitement. Ty Lee finally agreed to a date with him, all thanks to Katara meddling.

“I can’t believe you’d cheat on me!” Zuko scowls. He’s more cute than terrifying, and Katara just rolls her eyes. “I thought I was the only one you call ‘babe!’” He tries protesting.

Katara snorts. “That was short for ‘beyblade.’ Let it rip, motherfucker!”

“Am I not a good husband-to-be? Is that what it is? Do you feel neglected, babe ?” He’s just fucking with her at this point, his childish pout threatening to bleed into a full blown laugh. He’s biking them back home, with Katara seated at the front on only a towel. She misses her Tesla.

“For starters, your toes look like gorilla knuckles. They look like they could wrap completely around a baseball.”

“Hey!”

“Be honest. Has anyone ever sucked your toes until you creamed yourself?” Katara’s favorite pastime is making Zuko blush.

She turns back to him to see his reddening face. “Oh my god! Look at how cute you are! I think my stomach has the butterflies!” Zuko just grows positively crimson at her mocking tone. He’ll blame the warming weather, though.

“Kill them. I won’t treat you right,” Zuko murmurs. Katara just swats at his head. “Didn’t I shoot at you? Love yourself, Katara.”

Once they reach his house, she jumps off the bicycle, and grabs Zuko by the shoulders. “Hey.”

“What?” He can’t help being mesmerized by her eyes.

“I think I’ll miss you,” Katara breathes.

“You have to leave first for you to miss me.” Zuko wraps her up in a tight hug.

He feels selfish when he wishes moments with Katara could last a lifetime.

#zutara fanfiction #zutara #zuko x katara #zutara month #zutara month 2020 #may 13 #hidden #zutara month part two

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my-brothers-corrupted · 4 years

Text

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter 2 : Section 7 : Runaways

The outburst of Blue’s power, too strong to be hidden beneath Anti’s careful, means they are no longer secure in their hiding place at the height of the mountain, and Anti no longer cares about making sure his curse is safe before using it. Dapper is breaking down, Red and Blue are on the chopping block for the choice they made, and Anti is struggling desperately to maintain control as he takes his puppets and flees to the north.

Trigger warnings for some of the most severe abuse yet, including manipulation, abuse between brothers, and abuse of a character having a psychotic episode. I’m telling you right now, this chapter bites. Please be careful.

Find Chapter One here.

Find Chapter Two here.

Section Seven of Chapter Two: Runaways

Anonymous asked: Trick, Dok, Genesis, anyone? Are you guys okay?

When the signal comes back, your camera seems to be vibrating.

Thud thud thudding rapidly as colors and lights fly by. Mounted on the ledge of a car window, pointing back in towards the other side.

Trick is the only one who looks up at the faint beeping, his eyes wide. He glances towards the front of the car and gives you no answer, stroking his twin’s hair. Dok is sitting on the floor at his feet with the weighted blanket over his shoulders, his forehead pressed against Trick’s thigh so you can’t see his face. Dapper sits beside Trick, his knees drawn up to his chest, his big, teary eyes fixed on the floor. He’s holding his fluffy white bear to his chest, and, from his crooked nose all the way back to his right ear, there is one huge bruise, bright purple and deep black.

They’re traveling somewhere.

Above the driver’s seat, you can see the plastic antlers of Blue’s Christmas gift mask.

Anonymous asked: Just let her go, Chase. She’s got a family just like you do. It’ll alright, love.

Trick turns his face away from you, holding Doktor closer against his thigh. Dapper stares over at you, his mouth in a deep frown and tears slinking down his cheeks. Eventually he shifts, snuffling, and lets you see the golden hilt of that beautiful knife, returned to him now and cleaned of Genesis’s blood.

The car pulls over and stops.

“Okay,” says a flat voice from the front. “Wait here. I’ll get gas.”

Anti’s car door opens and shuts. Nobody moves.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Where's Red and Blue, guys?

“Front,” mumbles Trick.

Red turns back to you just for a second. His body shakes and no one has bandaged his cuts. He wears that black muzzle on his face - you can tell what it is beneath a thick scarf. He is handcuffed to the car door. You can recognize, by now, the way that guilt looks on him, and you can recognize, by instinct, the look of a man haunted.

Anonymous asked: Still wearing our boy, Anti?

Blue’s palms are a vivid red, not the flaking skin he had before, but burned. They must be painful. Anti sets them to the handle of the filthy gas nozzle and starts loading up the clean little car - stolen more likely than rented, but it hardly matters now.

“I can’t trust him right now,” he says, his voice dark. He seems to take none of his usual joy in it and his eyes are fixed blankly on the nozzle. “But I… I will… I’ll… fix it. Too much power for him.”

He sighs deep and runs his hand through Blue’s hair, singed black on one side. “Mmh… need to put the others back, too. Should I focus on Red or Dap, do you think? None of the medicine seems to be working on my little one, which makes him harder to reign in… but Red was so far off the fucking rails last night… maybe Red, maybe Red…”

Anonymous asked: personally bro I think you should focus on why it is that your whole schtick keeps tanking cuz I think there's some fundamental imbalances here that need to be addressed that you're refusing to acknowledge. or something.

Anti chews on his lip, staring at the gas nozzle.

“Should I… I just… I didn’t expect five to be so much harder than four!”

He pulls at his hair, distressed. “I thought I had taught Red better than that. Maybe I should just go back to four and keep a closer eye on all of them. Maybe I should just kill Trick and be done with it, reset them all and just… I think I could manage that, right? I used to manage Red and Trick and Dok and Dapper so well, they were just sad, and I wanted Blue to change that… but Dok would be a good twin to Dap, wouldn’t he? And Red and Blue would still be able to guard like Trick does. Maybe I should just give up on having the full set like I always wanted. Ship Trick’s body back to Jack and make him cry. I hate… I know he did this just to make it harder for me!”

Anti breaths in and then shakes his head at himself, pulling the nozzle out of the car. “No, no, no. Once I cull Blue’s power off I won’t have to be so worried about hiding them all the time and I can put all five of them back in their neat little lines. I can still do this. I just need to keep them away from the magical orders. If the Lapwings couldn’t protect Marvin from me, the Ravens won’t be able to help them either. I just need to do what I came to this country to do and then we can go again, and no one will take my pets from me.”

Anonymous asked: You read one book and suddenly you're able to take on who-knows-how-many magicians? You barely handled blue back in Norway and he hardly know what he was doing. What are you going to do against people that are actually trained?

Anti growls at you. “You are underestimating, first of all, what a goddamn little powerhouse this stupid brat is. Hardly knew what he was doing? He was one of the most accomplished magicians in the UK, you dumb fucks. Anyway, he would have been easy to kill - it’s just that I didn’t want my new pet dead.”

He snarls down at the gas nozzle and shoves it back into the tower. The electric little screen reading “S/.116.030″ glitches and the number disappears.

“These little thieves who are trying to take what belongs to me have no such guarantee. I will slaughter anyone who comes near them.”

nikkilbook asked: Yes, because literally the only possibly reason Jack could have created them all was exclusively to annoy you. No other reason. Not like they’re people, have been people, always will be people, and people don’t exist for only reason and especially not just out of spite. No, it’s definitely just to annoy you.

“He made that stupid little Jameson just to save him! That stupid doctor because he could feel me growing and knew he would need a healer! Jackie to protect him, Marvin to hide him, Chase to laugh while he cried! You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe him to be a selfless man - you’ll recall, after all, that I was only ever created to fucking entertain you!”

Anonymous asked: you're ignoring that there's actually six of you. you can't even handle yourself, bro. it IS an option to just like. let the boys do whatever they want. love is a stronger bond than fear, you saw that firsthand last night my dude.

“But then they’d go!” Anti clutches his burned hands into fists so hard he makes welts burst, and blood and clear puss come running down his wrists. “And they can’t! They can’t go! They’re mine, I’m owed them! They belong to me now! Better than being with Jack! Better than being with Jack!”

Anonymous asked: ok I would like your logic on why they were sad and if it doesn't include somewhere the phrase "being held against their will by a volatile puppetmaster and stripped of essential human freedoms" i'd kindly ask you to reword yourself

“Maybe they deserve to be sad sometimes,” Anti snarls, gritting his teeth. “Maybe they deserve everything I’ve ever done to them.”

Anonymous asked: bruhhhh if they loved you enough they'd never go. that's the reason we can't get Blue to up and skedaddle. he loves his brothers way more than he fears you.

“But they don’t love me,” says Anti. “And no one does without my control. So there’s no point to you trying to convince me. I know what I am. I only pretend not to be a monster around them, you know. I don’t try to tell myself any different. I never have. Not since I was little.”

bupine asked: what is it that you came to this country to do, anti? we never did find that out. is it something you're gonna be cryptic about or can you tell us?

“You never asked,” he says. And then: “There are parts of the world that are more magical than others. And I have a spell to cast.”

immabethehero asked: Hey Anti, here's a wild idea. let them run around for like a week with no chains and then they'll be happy.

“Haha! Oh, fuck, are you joking? They’d fall apart and never come back to me. Bet you a thousand sols at least one of them would die. Most of them would come running back to me. Hey, have you guys ever read Life of Pi?”

He glances at you like he expects an answer, but doesn’t actually check for one.

“He talks about, like… people like to go ‘oh, the poor animals in the zoo, all locked away!’ But the animals in the zoo aren’t actually unhappy. They’re glad they’re in the zoo. They’ve got space and food and routine. And if you shoved a family of people out of their house and you went ‘go, be free!’ they wouldn’t actually be free and they wouldn’t want to leave. They’d want to go back into the house. They’d want to go back into the house aggressively. They’d force you to let them go back into the house.”

He shrugs. “My boys belong in the house. Being let out wouldn’t be real freedom. Especially seeing as most of them would be caught and put in jail for life! Red and Dapper certainly, probably Dok too, maybe Trick if they could convict him. No, no, better off with me. The outside world is a scary place without master to look after you. I guarantee - I fucking promise - soon enough, they’d miss me.”

Anonymous asked: I’m sorry, but you don’t get the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it’s time for you to move on to better things, y’know? Find some other...hobby or whatever. They’ll never stop breaking out of what ever the hell you’ve put them under, and soon they’ll be too strong for you to ever get them back under. They are so much more than puppets and once you realize that it’ll be far too late for you.

“I didn’t ask you for the benefit of the doubt and I don’t care what you think. And if you’re so convinced that they’ll never stop? They’ll never give up, they’ll never stop trying to be free?”

He turns to you with black eyes.

“I swear I will match every second of their determination, and bring them back under my control. Every. Single. Time. If I have to struggle for the rest of my fucking life. So be it. So be it.”

bupine asked: anti, my dude, look at urself. ur stressed the fuck out and the boys are scared and hurt and remembering again. you can't take care of all of this urself, u just fucking can't. u can't keep wiping their memories and torturing and gaslighting and burning urself out. i know ur not gonna listen to this at all and ur probably just gonna give some sarcastic response but fucking hell u know u can't keep doing this. something has to change here, and that something is u, i'm gonna be honest.

“I’ll do this as many times as I have to!” he screams.

It’s a good thing this gas station lot is mostly empty. He’s starting to look stressed.

“I’ll do whatever I have to! As long as I have to! Forever! I’m not letting anyone go! They’re mine! They’re mine! They’re mine!”

Anonymous asked: That doesn’t sound like a way to live

“Better than the alternative!” screams Anti. “Better than being - I’m not going back to - I’m not letting them go!”

immabethehero asked: You're stressed, Anti. It really shows

“Thank you for your stunning analysis, PsyD,” he snarls.

Anonymous asked: whatever you say, pal. just trying to make your life easier.

Anti growls and turns away from you. “None of you understand anything.”

dancing-anon asked: So, Anti, what's the deal with you and Sean? Why do you hate him?

“Don’t say that fucking name. We’re not talking about this. All of you be quiet.”

musical-in-theory asked: Anti you are a textbook control freak who’s just now learning that they have so very little control. Poor little thing, your strings are becoming quite frayed...

“Bit the strings off myself,” he mumbles. “No connections left to him now.”

Anonymous asked: Dapper this is not your fault, please do not blame yourself, love.

Dapper looks up at you, weakly clutching his bear to his chest, and tries to nod. Trick reaches over to rub his shoulder, but Dapper draws away, hiding his face in his bear.

dancing-anon asked: Okay now I just wanna know more about Anti and Sean-

Anti laughs hysterically. “I know you do! Everyone did! Because that’s all I ever was! A storyline! Yes, I know, you want to know all about me, don’t you? Want to see me a hundred times over! I’m a fun toy to play with, aren’t I? A fun video to rewatch? Oh, do you still shiver when he draws the little toy knife to his throat? Did JJJJ scare you? And when you finally saw me with the others, all of us lined up just the way Jack wanted, in his little costumes and accents and special effects, didn’t it just make your month! Leave me the fuck alone. I’m not a goddamn prop.”

Anonymous asked: “Gotta love how you don't even try to be better. 'Oh, poor me, made to be a monster' well fucking change that, then. If you hate your Jack so much because of what he made you, then stop doing exactly what he made you to do. And you want to be loved by these five who you admit to hating so much? I don't even know where to begin with that. You’re so obsessed with every ounce of control, that you can't even settle for being as in control as you clearly already are. That's sad." - I!A

“There’s no changing anything now. There never was any changing anything. I just realized late.”

Anonymous asked: Why are you so afraid of being on your own?

“I’m not afraid,” hisses Anti.

Glitches warp the gas station tower screen.

“I’m not afraid.”

immabethehero asked: Are you still in Mexico, drama queen?

“I’ve never been in fucking Mexico! Why did you think Mexico? Because they speak Spanish here?”

Anonymous asked: dapper, are you all right? any symptoms hurting you too much? i know what it's like... some of the stuff you're dealing with... and i'm sorry medication hasn't been helping you. you're doing a great job hanging in there

“I can’t tell what’s going on,” moans Dapper, barely taking his hands off his bear to sign to you. “N-nobody looks right, and everyone’s acting weird, and my face hurts, and I’m scared, I’m scared, I don’t know what’s happening, I want to go home.”

“He’s having bad delusions,” mumbles Trick, still just stroking Dok’s hair, for hours, for hours. His twin stopped responding some time ago.

immabethehero asked: YOU'RE IN SPAIN

“NO, I’M NOT. HOW MANY SPANISH-SPEAKING COUNTRIES DO YOU THINK THERE ARE?”

Anonymous asked: Columbia, Brazil, Ecuador, Peru?

“Don’t care to tell you,” Anti simpers, looking a little calmer now. He knows and you don’t.

Anonymous asked: Brazil. Got it.

“Oh, haha, are you pleased with yourself? No. I let you see plenty of hints so you figure it out.”

immabethehero asked: Puerto Rico?

“Leave me alone.”

Anonymous asked: I figured it was Brazil, smartass. Ever heard of confirmation?

“It’s not Brazil. Ever heard of being wrong?”

Anonymous asked: It’s Ecuador.

“I told you, I’m done talking.”

Anonymous asked: My mistake, Ecuador, right? They speak Portuguese in Brazil, pardon.

“They do speak Portuguese in Brazil, yes. A lot of you are Americans, huh? We’re done talking about this. I’ll ignore the rest of you, do you understand?”

Anonymous asked: Well damn, you certainly wanted to be far away from Jack then, huh?

Anti chuckles. “We’ve been all over. Dap and I were in Japan for a while. Just wanted to see what it was like. I love it there, actually. If I could stay somewhere, it would probably be Japan.”

Anonymous asked: Maybe the medicine is working too well, Dap...

“No,” says Trick, looking a little grumpy at this. “You saw him when the medicine was working. You were with us in Norway. He got a little confused, sometimes, but for the most part he was able to function just fine. It’s when he doesn’t have his medicine right that things get to be hard for him.”

Dap stares over at Trick, a little hope coming back to him. “It’s just medicine problems, C-love? It’s just confusion? Will I remember once we fix it?”

“Yeah, sweetie, yeah.” Trick reaches over to stroke his hair, and this time, Dap allows it. “I’m sure you’re just confused, honey. We’re trying really hard to make it work, okay?”

Anonymous asked: Hey Red, just want you to know you did the right thing. Don't lose faith.

Red doesn’t turn back to you.

But you see him shaking his head, just a little, his shoulders heaving.

immabethehero asked: Trick, is Doc okay?

“Um…”

Trick glances down at Dok, running his fingers through his hair.

“I… he… there’s just a lot going on right now. Once we’re safe, everything will be a-okay, a-okay. Anti’s taking us somewhere safe! To make up for fucking Red and Blue…”

nikkilbook asked: Red, I know this is probably cold comfort, but I think you made the right decision in helping Blue up the mountain. You did a good job, you were a good brother. I’m really proud of you. And I think Blue is, too.

Red slams his head back against the car headrest, panting. Trick lets out a grim laugh, looking shaken.

“Blue’s not anything, right now.”

nikkilbook asked: If you’re not a prop, stop acting like it. A prop is defined exclusively by its purpose within a scene, how it’s used and who uses it. A good actor can give the illusion that it’s always existed, but ultimately it is defined from curtain to curtain. A person is defined by a hundred thousand billion things, their relationships and interactions and wants and desires and flaws and struggles and emotions. All you’ve ever shown us is that you are doing these things to thumb your nose at him, prop.

“This is me being more than a prop. When was the last time you saw a scenic armchair kidnap five characters and drag them away from the storywriter?”

bupine asked: we know you're not a prop, anti. we just want you to leave the boys alone, which we know you won't do cause you're quite frankly just a stubborn, attention seeking asshole. like yeah we know you've got abandonment issues but fuck stop making that everyone else's problem fdhfghjhdg

“Yep, sounds about right,” he taunts you.

bupine asked: so what were the boys like before you had them, anti? tell us about that

Anti pauses, staring out at the sky.

“I remember… the fear in Jameson’s eyes, but also the determination, stabbing at my hands when I tried to take him away. And he was scared to swear but when he saw things he would hiss and spit at them until the paranoia made him break down, cause there was also something fearless to him.”

Anti opens his mouth and then pauses, maybe regretting his sentimentalizing.

“I don’t know. Jackie was loud and he hunted me well, I’ll give him that much. Marvin was this cocky, powerful thing, always flashing with jewelry - I always liked the way he shone. Henrik was tireless, Chase was a survivor. They had become, like I had, their own people.”

nikkilbook asked: Dap, I don’t think we ever asked, sorry—who are the ghosts? I remember seeing you having a puppet show with one, about Bro Average, but no one ever explained what was going on? And you don’t have to explain this if you don’t want to, but... who’s the red man?

Dapper sits back in his chair, a slightly glazed look coming over his eyes.

“Oh, I can see so many ghosts. Sometimes they’re scary but sometimes they’re nice. Look!”

He points over at Doktor. Trick nervously holds his twin against him.

“It’s H-healing! His hair’s all green and he’s in Jack’s silly doctor costume. He keeps making jokes about fake surgeries and he’s so loud! He’ll bring me medicine if I get sick, but he’s still a ghost, he just doesn’t know it.”

Anonymous asked: Ah yes this again, because Jack is actually capable of love and you wanna daddy to love you, too, right?

Anti stares into the distance.

“Well, I guess that’s the other thing I remember,” he says. “That they all really loved each other. Always kind of… fucking hated that. And they’d all be smiling…”

Blue’s lips curl up into a sneer.

Anonymous asked: Ruined five perfectly good people, is what you did. Look at them, they've got anxiety.

“Glad we agree they’re ruined. Okay, let’s wrap this up, idiots, we gotta keep moving and I hope you know I’m not talking to you in the car.”

musical-in-theory asked: Why the fuck do you think that they deserve any of this???

“Please,” snaps Anti. “Assholes. Stupid - with their fucking house all together and all their goddamn ranting about ‘oh, we’re all brothers, we’re all family!’ Here’s what I think of your brotherhood - I can cut you into pairs and make you obsess over each other. Annoying fuckers. And Jack always looking at them with his goddamn - and they look - they look fucking just like him, and not in a way like I look like him, no matter how much I look like him, because they’re - they’re - they’re like him and - ”

Anti cuts himself off, turning away from you, panting.

Anonymous asked: Please see sense, Anti. Something about your methods has to change. It's not Blue's power or Dap's medicine that's the real problem. They will always rebel if your first instinct is to muzzle and collar and torture them.

“I’ll squash every rebellion, then.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Anti, who are you to decide what they deserve and what they don't? Even if they are your brothers, you should all be included and loved equally

“Okay, Mother Theresa, thanks for your words of wisdom. What about me makes you think I give a damn, and how do I correct that perception?”

Anonymous asked: Hes a scaredycat aw

“Shut the fuck up!” screams Anti. “Shut the fuck up!”

bupine asked: did you used to believe you weren't a monster?

“No, of course I did! I - you think you can look like a thing like me and not - you think - as if I wasn’t born with blood all over my hands, like - I know what I am! Why does the past matter?”

Anonymous asked: Why are you so hell-bent on keeping them?

“They’re mine, they’re mine, they’re mine!” screams Anti, shrieking like a seagull and glitching like a virus. “If I can’t have Jack I’ll take every fucking part of him! They belong to me, he owes them to me, he can’t them, he’s mine! I’m the master, I am, I am! Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!”

the-weirdest-fan asked: Do you ever regret making them your puppets, Anti? I know you probably dont feel bad for them, but do you miss the collection process? Surely that was pretty fun, right? Are you ever tempted to just say the hell with it, and kill them?

“I always used to dream about killing them,” says Anti, in a voice shaking with fervor, his eyes too wide. Blood is welling up against his shirt. “Sometimes I just want to see them all stop breathing. I could d-drive all six of us off a cliff and that would be it, that would be it, that would be it. Miss collection, miss collection, no, no, no, I like having them with me. Everything was so much safer once I had my little boy. Everything was promised, everything is okay when my little boy is working right. I just have to put him back together and cast my spell and go and everything is fine, everything is fine, everything is fine…”

Anonymous asked: You must be really scared then, Anti, being away from your own master and all.

Anti freezes stiff, his face turned away from you.

The wind brushes through his hair and the sun glows down on him. Blue’s deer mask fills up with light, and for just a second, Anti stands in it, and you see the light dusting of freckles along Blue’s arms, and the burned hairs of his beard, and the strong, proud curve of that back.

Eventually Anti turns around again and limps towards the car like he’s been punched in the stomach, taking you with him. His trembling hands turn the camera off, and you are plunged back into darkness as you lose your connection to the car.

Anonymous asked: I know a lot has happened and were in a real transitional mess once again...but I have to know: How is Noodle the cat?

Your sound comes back before your video.

A car door slams shut and then another opens, and someone gives a small gasp. There is a fumbling bumping noise as the camera is pressed into someone’s hands.

“So I can keep an eye on you all.” Anti’s voice is simmering water. There is a small click and Trick’s face appears above you, looking pale and scared. “I’m going to go get you something to eat. Keep your brothers in line.”

The door shuts and Anti is gone.

For a long moment, the car is silent.

Trick puts you back up on the ledge of the window so you can see everyone, smiling weakly. Dok is sitting beside him now, with Dapper on the floor instead. Red, in the passenger’s seat, might be asleep, and you can hear him breathing steady and deep.

“Noodle,” says Trick, trying to keep his voice light. “Is great! He’s the best boy in the world and I’ve got him right here.”

He reaches down to scoop the little cat up, presenting him to you with a shaking grin. Noodle mewls softly and paws at his hands, and suddenly Trick, without knowing why, is on the verge of tears.

“Yeah, you’re a good boy, huh?” he whispers, kissing his cat’s head. “You’re my good boy. Everything’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

Anonymous asked: They're in Peru. (or were, depending on when we reconnect). What are your thoughts on the Nazca Lines?

“Oh, uh,” Trick pauses, laughing nervously. “I didn’t know where we were. I, uh. Don’t know what those are. I’m sorry. I didn’t leave the house much… in fact, I haven’t in… weeks… well, not farther than the mountainside. I haven’t seen the city since we got off the plane. So, not much sight-seeing, you know? Those sound cool, though, whatever they are.”

“Carvings in the desert,” mumbles Dok, his head resting against the cool glass of the car window. “Far south of us.”

Relief washes down Trick’s face and he turns to grab his shoulder, beaming at him. “Hey, buddy, you with me again?”

Dok breathes slowly in. He seems to be making an effort to turn his head back towards Trick, to open his mouth and answer him, but eventually he just takes a shuddering breath and sinks down onto Trick’s shoulder, burying his face against him.

Trick squishes him into a hug, pressing their heads close together.

“We’re okay. We’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay. I got you, don’t I? So everything’s going to be just fine.”

Anonymous asked: They’ll come, Marvin, just wait. It’s gonna be okay. Take it slow.

Dapper stares up at you, distress beginning to fill up his face again. You hear Trick give a deep sigh.

“Who’s coming? Where are we, where are we going? Why is nobody acting like themselves? I don’t want the bad men to come. There are people coming to get us and hurt us and eat us.”

“Dap! Nobody’s going to eat us!”

“Where’s Marvin? What is he waiting for? I want Marvin, I want Marvin!”

“Dapper, please, all you’ve been doing for hours is crying! Can you cut it out for two minutes, please!”

“We’re going somewhere bad! We’re going somewhere bad! Everything is shaking with power and it gets worse the closer we are. Too much magic, too much magic. I want Marvin. I’m hungry.”

“Anti went to get food, Dap.”

“Anti?”

Dapper falls quiet, rocking himself on the floor of the car.

Trick sighs and turns back to you. “And that’s something to thank God for, let me tell you. I was starting to get worried we were just going to keep driving and driving.”

“Blue’s not here to take care of us,” whispers Dok. “So he almost forgot we needed to eat.”

Trick sobers, staring down at the floor.

“They’re coming to get us,” Dapper complains, his eyes closed and his head pushed against the back of Red’s seat. “Scared, scared, scared. Ghosts! Ghosts! My stomach hurts, I hate this new medicine, I want my brain to work again!”

Trick runs his hand down his face, tugs Dok closer to his shoulder, and checks again on Red’s heartbeat, beginning to feel more than a little overwhelmed. Noodle sits purring on his lap.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: How long have you guys been on the road?

“Hours, I guess,” sighs Trick, staring out his window. “Clock on the car is digital, so it just keeps glitching. Sun’s high now. We left in the dead of night. We stopped for a bathroom like, twice, but that’s all. I hope Anti gets us something good. Pizza or hamburgers - or - fried chicken or something so fatty and American it just about kills me on the spot.” His face is lit up. “Dok, what would you go for if you could have anything in the world right now?”

Dok lets out a short sigh, trying to think. “Mh… bacon sandwich…”

Laughter bubbles out of Trick like a fountain. “Bacon sandwich?”

“Bacon sandwich,” whispers Dok, grinning frailly up at him. His eyes may as well be lit from the inside, and heated, too, with warmth like that. “Toasty bacon sandwich… with… tomato.”

“Oh, here he comes!”

Anti returns to the car and pulls open Trick’s door. “Look edible, pup?”

Trick startles. “Oh - me?”

“Yeah? Aren’t you hungry?”

He can’t remember the last time Anti called him puppy! A burst of schadenfreude joy lights up in Trick’s chest and he resists the urge to give Dapper a smirk, instead reaching eagerly out to accept the brown take-out bag from Anti’s hands. Inside, sandwiches gleam brighter than silver inside of crinkling aluminum foil.

“Fuck, you got so many,” gasps Trick. “And - mashed potatoes too, and green beans!”

“I need to make sure you all get a good meal. Things might be… rough for a while. We might have to fight soon, Trick.”

Trick looks up, afraid. “Those people… they’re really going to catch up with us. Aren’t they, master?”

Anti sighs. For a second, he doesn’t look angry, or cruel, or biting - he just looks sad.

“Yeah, Tricks, I think so.”

“Anti?” asks Dok. “Can we get out of the car for a while?”

“Yeah, come on. Get Dap and Red out too. Stretch and sit down and eat. I think we need to… talk about some things before anything happens.”

A cold light gleams in his eyes again. “And maybe I need to reinforce a couple old lessons.”

bupine asked: shit, anti, can you not leave them alone for two minutes?

Anti seats himself at a little park table as his boys gather themselves together and start helping each other out of the car - well, mostly Trick, though Dok keeps turning around to check that Dapper is close at hand. Noodle paces around a tree on a little cat leash fashioned lovingly, carefully, out of cheap string.

Anti hums, feeling a breeze brush over Blue’s hair. He holds himself strangely, slumped over the table but not allowing his chest to touch the wood. He keeps shifting his hands and readjusting the mask on his pale face.

“Look,” he says. “What would be the point of any of this if I left them alone? If they sat here happily on this bench eating their green beans and giving Dapper little kisses on the cheek til his boo-boos are gone? If I let Blue go and him and Red got to cuddle for a while and feed each other roast beef? Please.”

Anti shifts, massaging at his chest, a little winded.

“Besides, then none of them would learn their lesson. The way Red, Blue, and Dapper acted last night is the most unacceptable thing I’ve seen since the night Jackie tried to run away with Dapper. No, he has to learn his lesson again, like he did now. And let’s stop lying to each other - you’re going to love every aching second of it.”

He smirks and adjusts the camera so you can see the expanse of the little rest stop lawn, some privacy provided between him and the convenience store where he bought the sandwiches by a few thin but determined trees.

“In fact,” he says. “Seeing as you were a part of what happened last night, I think you should be a part of this too, don’t you think?

“Red and Dapper need to be punished, and it has to happen before those fucking magicians catch up with us. Blue will get what he deserves when we get where we’re going. But we have a couple options and I think we should be entertained by it, don’t you? So you can pick.

“I can hypnotize one of them and spar with the other - you choose which of each, it doesn’t matter to me. Or I can make them both spar with each other, and the winner can beat the other one into a goddamn pulp.”

Anti leans back, Blue’s eyes glittering black in his stolen face.

“Decide. We both know you want to. You can do it without even telling us who you are… are you already thinking about it? Wouldn’t it be fun to see Dap hypnotized? Or Red? To spare one of them the pain of a real punishment, and let him sink back into my power again? Or wouldn’t you like to find out which one of them would win in a real fight? Come on. Don’t pretend. Decide.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: How about none of the above? Let them be who they are, Anti.

“Boring,” sings Anti. “You can be more creative than that, can’t you? I’ll let you have some time to decide, but I expect an answer.”

He sits back as his boys approach, Trick chattering to Dok about everything and nothing, re-invigorated by affection and food. He sits himself right down next to Anti - a bold move - and starts pulling out food for his brothers. Dok sits wearily down beside him, pulling open his sandwich with tentative eyes, like he expects something to jump out and sting him. Dapper stares down at his sandwich, unenthused.

Red, for his part, is still standing by the car, looking panicked and ill, afraid of what Anti is planning for him - and he knows it must be something. Trick did not help him to the table and Dok and Dapper are not well enough to care for anyone right now.

“Um, Anti,” begins Dok softly.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

Dok’s mouth opens and closes again. He’s looking at Blue’s thin frame. After a moment he shakes his head and sits back again, glancing nervously over at you for help as Anti picks boredly at the wood of the table, not even glancing at the food and water.

bupine asked: anti, is your chest hurt? also, when did red and dapper try to run away, was that is norway? unrelated to both of these questions but how about no one fights! i feel like the trauma of last night is punishment enough, but i know you won't agree

“Oh, no,” says Anti. He reaches over and rubs at Dapper’s back, pulling on his overgrown curls. Dapper doesn’t seem to know how to react. “That was back in… yeah, we were still near home then. I brought Dapper to lure the hero in. He came almost right away. I broke him in pretty well, but after about a month he had a moment of weakness and he took Dap and ran. My poor little boy was too sick to even protest, just followed after the hero.”

His voice stiffens as he rereads your question. “Blue’s chest is… it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Doktor sinks down on the other side of the table, picking nervously at his bread.

Anonymous asked: dok is something wrong? are you worried about something?

Dok glances over at you and touches his stomach, looking back at Blue.

Anonymous asked: Hey Anti, it might be a good idea to let Blue eat. He’s probably starving after all that energy he used. He’ll get sick if he doesn’t. Anonymous asked: Anti, you should eat something. Blue’s body is starving like this. Bupine asked: anti, you need to eat too. For blue, obviously. He’s human too man. Anonymous said: anti, you’re going to seriously hurt blue if you don’t eat and drink. If you want to have an easier time managing them, you might want to prevent him from becoming severely ill

“Oh.” Anti blinks and sits up, scowling. “I forgot about that. I’ll eat later. Hate that fucking… swallowing and the way the stomach moves… and if I’m being honest, Blue doesn’t fit very well. He kind of - ”

Anti flinches suddenly, eyes wide, and his hands clench together.

“Stings,” he hisses, waving them through the air. “But maybe that’s the… burns…”

“Anti,” whispers Dok.

“What, darling?”

When Dok doesn’t answer right away, Anti looks up at him.

His face is bloodlessly pale and his hands folded gently in his lap. Downcast eyebrows and a pinched, sorrowful mouth make him look about as pathetic as Anti has ever seen him.

Usually Anti would laugh at him for begging, or pet and flatter him and enjoy the moment of weakness, but suddenly he doesn’t think that Dok is begging or acting at all. Not like Dapper learned to do when he was small. Dok has never done that. Dok is too straight-forward. Dok is a rod and always has been.

“I would like you please to eat,” he says softly. “Please.”

Blue’s mouth falls slightly open as he stares at him.

Then he shuts it again with a deep sigh, trying to banish old memories of a spit-fire doctor with a scalpel in his hand and Chase under his arm, yelling and refusing to be hypnotized, kicking when he was taken out of his cell…

“You never cause me any trouble, do you, Dok?”

Dok’s mouth smiles, but it never reaches his eyes.

“Try not to, master.”

Anti stares at him. Memorizes his face, in all the ways it is different from the others - the streaks of grey in his hair, the imprints of the carefully clean glasses, the way he holds himself, still proud after all these years…

“When we get where we’re going,” he says. “You’re going to watch over your little brothers and keep them hidden. You’re going to be tough and not break down and stop talking again. You’re going to keep Dapper safe and away from the fighting. Okay?”

“Yes, Anti,” whispers Dok. “Whatever you ask.”

Anti nods shortly, a small blush on his cheek, no longer able to meet Doktor’s eyes.

“Good boy,” he says shortly, and reaches for a sandwich.

Anonymous asked: Hey Dap, why don’t you take the camera over to Red and see if we can get him to come to the table to eat, yeah?

“Who’s Red?” whimpers Dap, curling in on himself. “Why is everyone acting so wrong? Why does Marvin burn like that? He is radiating black and blue. That’s not the right kind of light. That’s how you get burned. Bad magic. Good magic. Doesn’t it sting? Why is everyone acting so wrong?”

nikkilbook asked: Red? How’re you feeling, buddy? You weren’t doing so great the last time I talked to you, but then it looked like you at least got some sleep. Will Anti let you eat, or no? At the very least, you should go sit with Noodle. I bet playing with a little kitty will help.

Red is shaky and white. He glances over at you on the car window, his face contorted with pain. After a moment, you see his hands reach up to touch the muzzle on his face - and then fall again - and then rise again - he crumples back against the car door, panting through his nose and clutching at his hair.

“Hungry,” he signs. “But bad. Punishment. Afraid.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap? How much of the truth are you remembering?

“I can’t tell what’s real,” wheezes Dapper with shaking hands, growing more and more upset, though a hand on his shoulder from Dok helps to calm him a little. “I can see a thousand pasts. I can’t see a single future. I want to go home but don’t remember where it is.”

“Dapper,” warns Anti softly, his eyes flickering up to him. Be cautious.

immabethehero asked: Dapper, Anti'll be furious if he hears you call Marvin by his real name. The others too. Marvin is Blue. That's who Anti is possessing right now. Jackie is Red. Chase is Trick. Henrik is Doktor. Use those names and don't let Anti know about this! He might do something awful!

Dapper rubs at his teary face, distressed. “No, none of them are my brothers! They’re all Anti! I can feel him! I can see ghosts! I can see their ghosts! Anti killed my brothers!”

nikkilbook asked: Red’s the name Glitchy McGee gave J-happy.

“Happy, happy,” whisper Dapper’s hands. “Joy.”

He breathes in and out deeply. You can almost see him forcing himself to calm down, staring over at Red by the car, his eyes wide. After a moment, he rises to his feet and heads towards Red.

Anti allows it, chewing on his sandwich. Trick and Dok exchange anxious looks, but they’re splitting a cup of mashed potatoes as quickly as they can, like they’re afraid the food will disappear.

“Here, here,” signs Dap, approaching. “It’s okay, Joy.”

Red’s eyes are like a horse caught in a barn fire. He throws his head, his hands reaching up, scared to unclasp the muzzle.

It’s like Blue said. You can always untie the rope, or tear out the stake, or unclasp the mask, but you never know what might come afterwards.

Dapper reaches gently up and undoes the clasp, pulling it away from Red’s face. It has dug dark purple bruises into his face and his mouth is white without enough blood moving through it, but it doesn’t seem to matter. His eyes are fixed on Dapper.

“Come on.” Dapper reaches out a hand. Red takes it and lets himself be pulled carefully towards the table and the food.

immabethehero asked: Dapper. Anti's brainwashed all your brothers. They're not dead. Just brainwashed.

“Oh, please, stop playing with him,” sighs Anti, rolling his eyes. “You can’t make sense to him when he’s all fucking crazy like this. Just leave him alone. I bet I can make him play baby again if I fuss over him for a little while, or wake up Carver if I shove him around a little. He’s fine. He just has… days. It’s a confused day, that’s all.”

Anonymous asked: maybe some other kinds of medication could help dap, not just with his hallucinations, but also with his paranoia? maybe anxiety medication could help?

“Haven’t had time to try anything like that,” mumbles Dok, rubbing at his face. Oh, his bones are so tired. “Barely got him off the Risperdal - he had to have it all out of his system before I could start him on anything new. And then the last one I tried made him really sick and moody and weepy, so I’m just getting him off that one too so we can try something else. Maybe some combinations would be a good idea. I’m afraid nothing is ever going to work as well as the Haldol did. But sometimes our bodies get too used to medicines and we just have to work around it now. Soon as we settle down safe again, I’ll find something that works, I promise.”

Anonymous asked: Thank you, Dap.

He gives you a big, nervous smile, his face twitching.

immabethehero asked: Why do you have so many nicknames for Dapper? Are they his own egos? (No pun intended i swear)

Anti blinks, assessing his youngest from the other side of the table.

“Mostly it was just me being fond of him. Pet names and what not. Carver is a compliment, it means he’s like me. But as I began to spend time with him and saw the ways his mental state could change from day to day, I did notice a difference, and at some point, I started to think of the more violent days as Carver’s, and the sweeter ones as Dapper’s. And, when he’s very, very quiet, and very deep in his own head, and can’t even get his limbs to move, and his magic is beyond his control, that is Monochroma. But I haven’t seen Monochroma since his snap. No, though, he doesn’t have alters or anything like that. It’s just me organizing his moods.”

nikkilbook asked: Anti said something about having you and Dapper fight. He wasn’t sure if he was going to possess one of you or just have you fight until one of you’s beat into the ground. We’re trying to make him change his mind, but... I don’t know if we’ll be able to. I’m sorry. Be safe, okay? And please, go see if they’ll let you eat. No sense letting yourself starve. Abirbable and pixie-in-trebleland sent similar asks and were added.

Red’s face contorts for a second at the first message, but he’s too hungry to focus on it. He reaches anxiously out for a sandwich and Dok presses it into his hand.

Red sinks away from the table and begins scarfing it down, his eyes flickering all around, waiting for the attack he knows is coming. He can’t get himself to calm down and even the brightness of the afternoon seems painful when he’s this overwhelmed. He feels a little more comfortable with Dapper at his side, at least.

He scoots in front of his little brother, relieved to have him behind him.

Anonymous asked: Dok don’t stress out, you’re all doing your best and that’s all that matters, alright? You’re taking care of Dapper and everyone else very well.

“Yeah!” Trick beams at his twin and presses a bottle of water into his hand. “Everything’s okay, Dok-Dok, see?”

Dok smiles wearily at both of you, his eyes ringed in dark circles.

“Guess for now I can just eat, huh?”

“Exactly,” soothes Trick, squeezing his hand. “Exactly. We’re okay. Anti’s got everything under control. Right, Anti?”

“Course, baby.”

Trick glows with affection, simpering at Anti, who giggles just to see that dopey, over-enthused smile. He reaches out to put his hand on Trick’s, massaging his palm, and Trick about melts.

“Listen, love,” says Anti. “I need to talk to you for a second.”

“Oh, yes, Anti, okay.”

“Red and Blue can’t be trusted right now. You know that.”

“Yes, Anti. They’re the ones that caused this. We’d be safe if they hadn’t done that.”

“There’s my good boy. You have been listening, huh? I’m worried the magicians maybe even got into their heads.”

Trick’s eyes are wide. “Really?”

“Yes. So you can’t listen to anyone but me now, right? Me and Dok. Those magicians might try and get in your head too. They might promise you things. Hell, even these fuckers in the camera might promise you things.”

Trick shoots you an irritable look.

“But I need to be able to finish this project with Blue. While I’m doing that, I can’t be interrupted. Do you understand?”

“Oh, yes. And you can’t trust Red to watch your back.”

“Exactly. Dok isn’t a fighter and Dapper isn’t well right now. That means you, Trick - you have to protect them while I do what I need to do.”

Trick has puffed up like a lion, his back straight. “Of course. I’ll keep them both safe. I won’t listen to anyone who tells me to go or to let anything bad happen. Anti, I’ll be really, really good.”

Anti smiles warmly at him and Trick’s cheeks rush with blood.

“You keep Dapper and Doktor safe from the magicians when they come,” he says. “And you and your twin can have anything you want in the next place we stay. Okay?”

“Yes, Anti. Yes.”

“Promise me.”

“I swear, Anti. I swear.”

“Good boy.”

nikkilbook asked: You had a scarf, right? To hide the muzzle? Try pulling that over your head to filter out some of the light.

Red likes that. All he wants to sense right now is the taste of his food and Dapper’s library book smell. He lies down in the grass and tugs his scarf over his eyes, breathing out a sigh of relief and running his hands over the patchy yellow grass.

abirbable asked: This may sound weird, but maybe try some breathing exercises, Red. That always calms me down. Or even listening to someone else’s pulse (as long as it’s steady).

Red breathes in.

Breathes out.

Breathes in -

Oh, shaky on that one.

Breathes out.

Trying not to cry.

“Want Blue,” he whispers.

spicydanhowell asked: trick you fucking bootlicker istg

Doktor barks out a laugh and immediately covers his mouth with his hands. Trick blushes bright red, a sudden terror in his eyes. Doktor looks guilty the second their eyes meet across the table.

“Sorry!” He tells him hastily, reaching out to pat Trick’s hand. “Wasn’t agreeing! Just surprised me.”

His twin draws away, trying to swallow.

Then Anti giggles too.

Trying to breathe, Trick chokes out something about checking on his cat and hurries over to Noodle before he can start crying, turning his back to the table and sitting quickly down with him in his lap. He pets rapidly at Noodle’s head, hugging him to his chest.

“You’re such a good boy,” he croaks, kissing his cat. “You’re good, you’re good, you’re good. You’re just trying to be good, it’s okay, I love you.”

Anonymous asked: hey dap, i know how scared and alone you must feel right now. we’re going to play a quick little game, okay? I want you to name five little things you can see around you, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. can you do that for me?

Dapper claps his hands together, a slightly over-bright light in his eyes, beginning to get his manic, confused enthusiasm back as his mood shifts again.

“I see - a deer covered in flowers. A pretty golden cat. I see bruises down this face and burns hiding on that one. I see my mustache!”

He pouts out his lips to bring it into his eyesight and grins at you. The smile is a little crooked.

“I can touch… warm grass. Black sweatshirt. Clean white dress shirt, except that my nose bled all over it. Bruise on my face. Stings. Stings. Master kicked me.”

The smile is very crooked.

“I can hear him breathing a little too fast next to me. I can hear him crying over by the trees. I can hear the wind.”

“I smell… forest magic. Black magic. Not a good combination, you see. We’re getting closer and closer and closer to a place very powerful. This, I think, is bad.”

He nods sagely and pops a bit of sandwich into his mouth.

“And I can taste roast beef! That was fun!”

Abirbable asked: I have a great idea for a third option! How about a fuckiNG V I B E C H E C K to the face?! Spicydanhowell asked: I don’t want to see them hypnotized. Ughhfbdshgdfn. Anonymous asked: Seriously? We can’t do that to them, Anti. Anonymous asked: uhhhhhhhh no. Anonymous asked: You know you can’t force down reality forever, right? They’re still the same people deep down, no matter how many spells you cast or minds you destroy. I get that maybe all you want is to be loved, but training your brothers to be your hound dogs that fight for scraps isn’t really the way to truly achieve that. Leave them be.

“You five,” says Anti, pointing at the camera. “Are the boring ones.”

He gets to his feet. Dok looks up at him, surprised, finishing off his second sandwich.

“Are we going, Anti?”

“In a moment. But first, why don’t we play a game, huh, Dok-Dok?”

immabethehero asked: WHo needs Anti's love, Trick? You've got the love of Dok and Red and Blue and Dap, and us! We're annoying as fuck but we don't constantly abuse you and take our daddy issues out on you

“I don’t want to talk,” whispers Trick, hiding his face in Noodle’s fur. He meows, valiantly licking at Trick’s fingers.

Anonymous asked: why don't you fight one of them, glitch bitch?

“Now we’re talking,” grins Anti, his eyes filling up with a wild light.

Anonymous asked: I really don’t like the sound of that.

“Check that. You six are the boring ones.”

Anonymous asked: Dap, do you know where you guys are headed?

“Some place much too powerful,” mumble Dapper’s hands, beginning to get a little sloppy with his signing. “A place for bad spells and bad people.”

“Dap, Red,” calls Anti. “Get up, boys.”

Anonymous asked: Would you fight with Marvin on though?

“Oh, of course, my darlings. That’s half the fun of it. Especially if you pick my dear Red.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Iiiii think Dap should be hypno'ed and Red to spar with? He has some pent up anger.

“Ahh,” breathes Anti, smiling wide. “Thank you, my friend. I knew someone would decide. I quite like that idea.”

Anonymous asked: Are you sure? I think seeing Carver would be interesting.

“Oh? Seeing Carver fight? We have an objection in the court. What would you all prefer? I’m quite impartial.”

spicydanhowell asked: NO DO NOT HYPNOTIZE DAP

“Oh, you don’t want your darling boy anymore confused than he already is, hm? I could do Red instead… or pit the two of them against each other…”

abirbable asked: One day you’re gonna break one or more of them beyond repair, Anti. You have NO idea what being a human is like nor the emotional trauma you’re continually causing them.

“Oh, please. You should have seen the time Doktor forgot the difference between a scalpel and a band-aid. Screaming for three days straight. Babbling in German no matter how much Trick tried to calm him down. But eventually he came back to himself. Eventually they all come back to themselves. I’ll handle it.”

Anonymous asked: Would this be Marvin’s punishment then? Getting beat to a pulp by his brothers?

“Oh, no. I have something much more important in mind. Blue will need his strength tonight. I expect we’ll be there in a few hours.”

nikkilbook asked: Carver versus you. Red’s punishment would be not being able to prevent either of his brothers from being hurt or hurting each other. Give what he risked today and why he risked it, seems like that would cut pretty deep.

“Intriguing. I like the way you think. But I can’t just let him be. He needs to be under my control one way or another - physical punishment or hypnotism.”

Anonymous asked: And one day they won’t be fixable and then you’ll be yelling at us like the whinny bitch you are. You made your bed, have fun sleeping in it.

“I will, thanks - wait a second, whinny? I think that’s a horse noise.”

spicydanhowell asked: just.... them against each other.... i know they won't kill each other..... Bupine asked: if I really, really had to choose? Pit them against each other, no hypnotism. Fair fight. Anonymous asked: Red v. Dapper? That’d be a very emotional fight.

“Ah, and now we’ve had all three options proposed! I knew you’d all make choices when it came down to it. How will we decide…?”

Interesting! I’ll make posts for each option and then compare the notes on them soon. Whichever has the most notes, I’ll write - and then, when that’s done, we’ll be at the final scene of the chapter tomorrow. Thanks, guys. Wasn’t sure you’d play along… but hey! I had to try out something new! Audience participation and all that.

Post 1: Dapper and Red should fight each other.

Post 2: Dapper should be hypnotized and Anti should fight Red.

Post 3: Red should be hypnotized and Anti should fight Dapper.

nikkilbook asked: Dap, could you do me a favor? Without touching J-happy’s skin, could you squish him as tight as you can? Like, put a bunch of pressure on his shoulders. He hasn’t had that in a while, and he’s having a really hard time right now.

Dapper and Red watch as Anti discusses with one of the cameras.

He holds in his hand a large silver knife, swinging it around with shining eyes as he demands and manipulates, searching for a decision to be made - but about what, they don’t know.

Dapper blinks over at you and then looks up at Red, seeing his big brother shaking hard, his face drawn and guilty and resigned. He has not been bandaged or cared for since last night and there is still blood on his face, deep bruises from the muzzle, and scoring cuts from the plants with which his twin’s power consumed him.

He looks so overwhelmed he could shatter. Red is an Atlas and always has been.

Dapper tugs gently on his sleeve, smiling up at him, and Red turns wearily towards him, softening a little for the look on his face. Dapper holds out his arms cautiously, beckoning for Red to let himself be held.

Red wipes at his face and sniffles. Nobody’s supposed to see him in pain. Nobody’s supposed to see him needing comfort. Least of all his youngest brother, clever, wild little Dapper. Well, not so little, really - standing beside him now, Red can see that Dapper is exactly his height.

Oh, he’s so tired.

He puts his head down on Dapper’s shoulder.

Dapper wraps his arms around him and squishes him tight, tight, tight, just like you wanted to, a string of soothing, soft, meaningless clicks chirping from his mouth, the warmest reassurance in the world.

“Okay,” says Anti, turning towards them. “Are you two ready?”

Dapper and Red should fight each other.

“Do you remember,” begins Anti, pacing towards them. “When you two used to spar all the time?”

Dapper and Red look at each other.

“I guess you probably don’t, do you, Red? And maybe Dapper, you’re a little confused.”

“No,” Dapper interrupts. “No, I remember.”

His hands are clenched into fists.

“Oh, good. Well, I love it when you do. We haven’t in a long time because first Red was rather badly off, and there was Blue to deal with, and then Dapper! You got stabbed! Wasn’t that silly! So you were on bed rest. But now - well, look at the two of you, standing tall.”

Red wipes at the blood on his cheeks, trembling. Dapper frowns and it makes his broken nose hurt.

“It’s really good practice for you both, seeing as you’re my strongest fighters and all that. My right-hand soldier, my Red, fighting like a guardian, refusing to be moved, refusing to let anything get past him, waiting for the right moment to get a good strike in. And the sly little pet that sleeps beneath my throne… my violent, dirty, sudden little fighter, Dapper who never seems to feel any pain. Of course when I let him use his powers he always crushes you into pulp, Red - he can see your every move coming. But that won’t work now… Dapper’s having a little trouble getting it up.”

Dapper’s face rushes with blush and he stares down at his feet.

“You wouldn’t cast when I told you to, would you, Dapper?”

He doesn’t have an answer.

“Why?”

“Please, master, I’m so - I don’t know what you’re talking about, I can’t - there was just fire, and I couldn’t - I don’t - I can’t find the right past and I - ”

“Shut up, shut up,” snarls Anti, annoyed. “I don’t want fucking excuses.”

He creeps forward, stepping right into Dapper’s space. For a moment, he stares at him.

“Dapper,” he murmurs, leaning down, so Blue’s mouth brushes by his ear. “Reverse this. Reverse all this and go back to before Blue gave himself up on the mountainside, and I will stop all of this, and you won’t be punished.”

Watery eyes stare up at Anti from above an open, desperate mouth. “Reverse?” stammer Dapper’s hands. “B-but I don’t… I don’t know what Blue giving himself up means?”

“Before the fire last night, Dap! Before Blue and Red snuck off up the mountainside to cast spells!”

Dapper shakes his head, choking.

“Change it back!” screams Anti, grabbing his wrists. “Change it back, I don’t care how much energy it takes! I know you’ve turned back a whole day before. I know you can! Change it back and you won’t get hurt, do you understand me? Why won’t you listen to me? Why did you suddenly disobey? Are you so out of your fucking mind that you can’t - ”

“Anti!”

A hand is suddenly clutching at Anti’s shoulder and he turns, panting, to see Red grabbing at his shirt. Pain spikes across the untreated burns that coat Blue’s chest, leaving Anti wheezing, sparks in his vision. Something is stinging throughout his whole body, like he’s gotten the wrong blood transfusion, and his hands are beginning to ache horribly, though he does not know why.

“Please,” cries Red. “Look at him. You’re going to make him snap again!”

There is a faint silver light in Dapper’s eyes and panic in his face. Anti turns to him, fear rising on the back of his neck.

“He’s lost track of the timeline. You’ve seen him do this before. If you push him past that, if you push him to reverse anyway, he won’t be able to go back safely and time will start to tear around us. Everything will blur together and we could all get lost or hurt or killed.”

“How do you know this?” whispers Anti.

For all that he’s angry at Red, the memory of Jameson’s snap is enough to halt him in his tracks.

“You were reset after that. You shouldn’t remember.”

“I don’t,” says Red faintly. “That was Blue’s speculation. He always wanted to know what you meant by a snap. He was sure it was more than a psychotic episode, or you wouldn’t talk about it the way that you do. Judging by your reaction… he was right.”

Anti turns to sneer at him, making Blue’s face ugly, and Red’s heart twists. “Fine,” he spits. “Your little baby doesn’t have to turn anything back since he can’t keep his head on straight. But you still have to have your practice for the day, my darlings.”

“Anti,” whispers Red. “Please. I don’t think you even want to do this, do you?”

“I want things to go back to the way they were!” screams Anti, backing away from him. “Just yesterday, we were so close to safety, Red! But you and Blue fucking ruined it, and Dapper refuses to fix your mistake! So, yes, I do want to see you two beating each other into the ground, like the wild, stupid animals you are. You’ll be broken in again as many times as it takes, and tonight, when I call upon you, you will fight for me.”

“I’m tired of beating my brothers around!” screams Red. “Look how scared he is, how scared he is of me! I’m done slapping them and yelling at them and grabbing them when they do something wrong! I’m - ”

“Oh, don’t fucking start,” snarls Anti. “Your stupid act.”

“No! This isn’t who I want to be anymore! I don’t want to do this!”

Anti’s voice raises in volume and pitch. “If you won’t fight the little brat, I will, and I promise you, I won’t stop til he can’t breathe through the blood in his face.”

“Please, just punish me, it’s not his fault!”

Anti stalks towards Dapper, raising the knife.

“No!” Red steps in front of him. Anti stares up at him. The hatred in his eyes - in Blue’s eyes - is so powerful Red could faint, and suddenly, all his courage is gone, and he is afraid.

“You’ll do it, then?” asks Anti coolly.

Red can feel Dapper shivering behind him.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do it.”

Over by the bench, Trick and Dok are standing so close to each other they could be Siamese, clutching Noodle between them. For a second, they look at each other, and see in the other’s eyes a question silently asked: should we do something?

But the other only answers, what can we do? What have we ever been able to do?

And they do not act.

Anti shoves Dapper towards Red and they regard each other uncertainly. In his impatience, Anti ends up striking Dapper three times on his own before Red is spurred into action, and begins to drive his little brother back, striking with sudden, harsh blows and following no matter how much Dapper tried to back away, confused and terrified. It’s a boring, aching sort of fight, and Dapper is upset and Red is hurting himself worse than he’s hurting Dapper, and then, after one badly-planned blow that ends up smashing hard against Dapper’s already blackened nose -

Dapper changes.

Red’s eyes widen as his little brother’s posture shifts entirely, his shoulders drawing back and his feet planting themselves steady on the earth, lifting him up on the pads of his feet. Suddenly Dapper’s befuddled distress looks more like a wild sort of fury.

He bares his teeth like a dog and begins forward, a hiss falling out of his mouth.

“There’s my Carver,” purrs Anti, sitting back on the park table, popping green beans into his mouth. “There’s my ferocious little pet.”

“Dapper,” calls Red, gently. “Dap, it’s okay. We’re just sparring, bud. It’s just me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hit,” snarl Carver’s hands. “Hit me. Slap. Red man. Bad.”

“Dapper - Dapper - ”

“I want my brother!” screams Carver. “I want my brother! But you are not him! You are not him! Jackie would never hit me! Anti has killed him! Anti has killed him, and you are the monster that remains!”

Carver tears forward like a jungle cat, teeth flashing.

From then on, Anti is laughing the whole fight long.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

You can hear him sobbing it from the front of the car. Blood is flowing from his nose and he is curled in on himself, crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’ll never do it again, I’ll never disobey you again!”

Anti flickers through radio channels, humming.

“I was bad, I was bad, I was bad! I’m sorry!”

“Holy shit!” laughs Anti. “Are they playing this? Why? Haha, in Peru? That’s hilarious.”

‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ blares out of the radio speaker. Anti sits back, drumming Blue’s fingers against the wheel and humming.

Behind him, Doktor and Trick are no longer sitting one on the ground and one on the seat of the car, but both curled into a single chair, hiding in each other’s arms. Noodle sits on the ground beneath them, gone silent, staring at Carver, who writhes in the other chair, screaming without sound.

He and Red are hand-cuffed together, Red’s arm reaching back from the front of the car, and Dapper’s reaching forward. Carver’s had his other hand tied down to the armrest too since he wouldn’t stop trying to lash out at himself or the twins.

“Now, Red,” purrs Anti. “You’re going to watch over Dapper really well once we get to the equator, right?”

“Yes, Anti, yes, Anti, yes, Anti, I am, I am, I am.”

Carver hisses and kicks at the seat in front of him, sobbing. He drags his hand up to draw a finger across his throat, and no one knows if he’s calling for Anti or making threats.

“You’re going to keep your little brother very safe?”

“Yes, Anti, won’t let anything happen to him, won’t go with the magicians, won’t listen to anyone but you, yes, yes, yes.”

“Dap, would you tire yourself out already back there? Goddamn. Country roads, take my home, to the place, I belong!” Anti bursts into giggles and the glitches on the radio laugh with him.

“Tomorrow all will be well,” he purrs, speaking to someone no one else can see. “Tomorrow, my darling, I will strip the magic out of your traitorous little chest in one of the most powerful places in the world, just to be sure nothing remains inside of you, and put it into my own instead. Your power will hide beneath mine and you will never be able to betray me again.”

He can hear something inside his head screaming out, just like it was while Red and Dapper fought, watching his brothers bite and strike and beat each other, until at last, Red surrendered.

“West Virginia,” sings Anti. “Mountain mama! Take me home, country roads.”

I’m going to fucking kill you one day, shouts Marvin, inside his own head. I’m going to fucking kill you for what you’ve done to my family.

Anti bursts into laughter and turns the radio up.

End Section Seven of Chapter Two.

Find the final section here.

#chapter two #runaways #abuse tw

16 notes · View notes

sir-meow-meow · 5 years

Text

Study Partners

⇢Pairings: Bang Chan x Reader

⇢Genre: Friends to Lovers ⚬ Fluffy Goodness ⚬ Cliche as Hell ⚬

⇢Warnings: None ⚬

⇢Word Count: 3.4k

⇢Summary: When an old friends asks you to help him raise his grades, you agree. Not realising it would stir up old feelings.

⇢Author’s Note: My requests are open for both BTS and Stray Kids, feel free to send some in. Also this story is so cliche and sappy so this is my warning in case you don’t like that kind of story.

“So, you want me to be your study partner?” You question the boy who stand awkwardly in front of you. He nods slowly before pulling a small piece of paper out of his pocket.

“If I don’t get above c’s for all of my classes, I’m not going to be able to play soccer. And you of all people know that soccer is all I have.” He mumbles, handing you the piece of paper, bright red F’s written all over the sheet, besides the subject he was studying.

“I still don’t understand why you are asking me. Why can’t your girlfriend help you?” You question, your tone softening at the boys small pout.

“You are top of all the classes, and I know you have the free time. Please, for an old friend?” He pleads and you sigh taking another look at his sad report card, shoving it back in his pocket.

“Fine. But I can only do from five to seven in the afternoon’s.” You say slowly, pulling your phone out of your pocket handing it over to him.

“This is going to be a lot of work if we are going to get your grades up before the exams.” You continue watching as he puts his phone number into your phone, before handing it back to you with a smile.

“I know.”

“Good. I’ll see you this afternoon, five o’clock sharp at my house.” You mumble turning to walk towards you class.

“You better not waste my time, Chan.”

“So, Chan is coming over this afternoon to study?” Your younger brother asks, watching you go through all your old work books looking for notes Chan would be able to use.

“Yes.”

“And you’re okay with this?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t he like a jock now?”

“Yes, Felix. Chan got into university to play soccer, and his grades started dropping, and if he wants to stay on the team he has to pick them up, so he asked me to help him.” You huff, towards your younger brother sitting on your bed. He nods slowly taking in the information, before going to ask another round of questions.

“Can you not do this right now? I’m busy.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just leave me alone so I can organise things.” You retort, your brother throwing his hands up in defeat sliding off your bed, to make his way to his own room.

“Just… don’t let him hurt you again.” Felix sighs and you pause looking through your school work.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You huff, doing your best to ignore the small pang in your chest.

“Oh, please. You think I didn’t notice how sad you got when he ditched you? I’m your brother, I saw everything, I mean it was hard not to notice that you took all the photos off your wall, or that you stopped wearing that stupid rope bracelet he got you for your fourteenth birthday.” Felix continues, pointing to the spot of your wall, that was a few shades lighter that the rest, where you used to hang all the photos from your high school years.

“Don’t worry about me. Go play outside or something.” You hiss, your brother leaving with a small huff.

He was right.

About everything.

You and Chan grew apart as you went to university.

He became popular, becoming the star of the soccer team.

And you decided it would be more useful to focus on your studies.

You two had still be friends for a while, meeting up to eat lunch together or study together, but he eventually got a girlfriend.

A possessive one at that.

She didn’t like the idea of his best friend being a girl, so in a way he broke up with you.

Told you to delete his phone number and to pretend like you didn't know him.

He broke your heart.

So you did as he said.

You pretended like he had never existed in your life.

“I think he’s here.” Felix yells from downstairs, as a loud knocks sounds on the door. You look up at your clock, it was exactly five o’clock. You let our a defeated sigh, deciding you would come back to your old notes, taking what you had already found downstairs with you to the dining room.

“Did you want a drink or anything?” You question, dropping the notes on the table, before walking over to the fridge pulling out a bottle of water for yourself.

“Just water is fine.” Chan answers looking between you and Felix with an awkward smile. You nod pulling a second bottle of water out of the fridge, placing them in one hand before grabbing a bag of pretzels off the counter in the other.

“Felix, wow you’ve grown a lot since I saw you last.” Chan says, trying to get your brother to stop glaring at him. Felix just grunts, his arms crossed tightly against his chest, as he stares down the older boy.

“Felix, stop trying to act like a big boy and go somewhere else for a while, order pizza if you want, you can use my card.” You hiss and Felix just pouts before moving away from his spot against the bench.

“Just the usual for you?” He asks and you nod, looking over to Chan.

“He doesn’t get one.” Felix hisses, before you could even ask the question. Felix stomps off, and Chan lets out a small chuckle of disbelief.

“I don’t think he likes me very much, anymore.”

“Don’t take it personally, he’s just trying to be tough. He’s mad that you stopped hanging out with him.” You answer, placing the water bottle in front of him, with the bag of pretzels in between the two of you. You gesture lightly for Chan to take a seat.

“Yeah, about that—“

“Don’t worry about it. We’re here to get your grades up, nothing else.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Now, what do you think your worst class is? We’ll start with that.” You say lightly, watching as he pulls his report card out of his bag, looking over it quickly.

“Probably biology, other than the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell, I don’t know anything about biology.” He answers and you nod, asking for his study guide.

“My what?”

“Your study guide, you get them at the start of the year, they tell you what you’ll be covering in your classes.” You say and he just shrugs.

“I don’t think I have one.”

“Well, you’ll have to get one, for all of your classes.” You say, grabbing your biology notes off the top of the pile.

“We’ll go through these until you have your study guides. At least then you’ll know the basics.” You say and Chan nods, scooting closer to you as you both read through the notes, with you explaining anything he didn’t seem to understand.

The two hours goes quickly, the two of you getting almost all of the way through the notebook, and managing to devour a whole pizza, and garlic bread loaf.

“Text me what days you can come over, and make sure to get those study guides as soon as possible.” You say, as you walk Chan to the front door.

“I can do this every afternoon, I’ve cleared up my schedule until the exams.” He spits out quickly.

“Ok, we’ll study from five to seven, Monday to Fridays.” You say and he nods, tugging his backpack higher on his back.

“I really appreciate this. Especially after how I iced you o—“

“It’s fine. Let’s just not talk about it. Pretend like it never happened.” You cut him off and he nods, his shoulder deflating slightly, as he sends an apologetic smile.

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yep, see you then.”

Chan meant what he said when he mentioned freeing his schedule.

He knocked on your door, at five o’clock sharp every weekday, his backpack high on his shoulders.

He had managed to collect all his study guides by then end of the week, and the two of you had been moving quickly though most of the material.

He definitely wasn’t as stupid as he thought he was.

And it had come to your attention that he had been working on winning Felix’s friendship back.

Especially when he brought him some sort of treat every afternoon he came over.

“Are you bribing him into liking you again?” You question as he walks through the door handing Felix a bag of churros.

“Possibly.” He smiles, pulling another bag out from his back, handing it over to you.

“I’ve also been hoping to also win back an old friend.” He says, his smile growing as you snatch the churro bag from his hand.

They were one of your favourite foods.

“It’s going to take more than churros.”

“I know, and I’m willing to do anything. I miss having a best friend.” He admits, following after you as you take your seat at the dinner table.

“Chan, you were the one who—“

“Broke it off, I know. And I’ve been regretting it for months. Can we just try to be friends again?” He cuts you off, reaching into his bag quickly not giving you much time to responds as he pulls out two movies tickets.

“I know how much you love the marvel universe, so I got us two tickets for tomorrow nights showing of Endgame.” He says, sliding the tickets over to you.

“Fine, but only because I’ve been dying to see this movie.” You huff, looking at the seat on the ticket.

Right smack bang in the middle.

The best seat in the cinema.

Goddamn, he knew you well.

“Ready to go?” Chan questions as you open your front door. You nod, grabbing your bag and keys of the rack, yelling at Felix that you would be back in a few hours.

“Excited?” Chan questions as he helps you into the passenger seat of his run down car.

Though he would kill you if you said that out loud.

“Yeah, I mean it’s the most hyped movie of the year. And I need to know if Spiderman is alive.” You respond, as Chan slides into the drivers seat.

“But, ah, how does your girlfriend feel about this? I mean you’re taking another girl to the movies.” You questions and Chan just looks at your confused.

“Girlfriend?” He questions and you nod.

“Oh, you mean Hana. We broke up months ago.”

“What? Really? I didn’t hear anything about it.” You sputter out in shock, not noticing the small smile growing on his lips.

“Yeah, we kept it quiet, nice to know you’re keeping tabs on me.” He responds, grinning as you look at him in shock.

“I’m not keeping tabs on you.” you defend before adding, “I mean you’re one of the most well known people in university of course I’ve been hearing things about you.” He just nods slowly at your words, though his smile doesn’t drop in the slightest.

“So, why did you break up?” You ask, trying to take the attention away from yourself.

“I just realised she made me someone I didn’t want to be. She’s one of the reasons my grades dropped so much. She was also the reason I lost my best friend.” His answer takes you slightly off guard.

What were you supposed to say to that?

Were you supposed to say anything at all?

“Well, it’s good that your realised what your priorities were.” You say after a few minutes on tense silence, Chan doing nothing more than nodding.

“Yeah, definitely know where my priorities are now.” He whispers softly, sending you a small smile, as the rest of the drive to the movies continues in a tense silence.

Three hours of stuffing your face with popcorn, drinking a large coke and sobbing is not a good mix.

“Did you like the movie?” Chan questions as he hands you another napkin.

“No…I mean yes but why would marvel do that to me? How could they do that to anyone?” You answer, using the napkin to wipe away the remainder of your tears.

“Are you laughing at me?” You snap, looking up at the grinning boy, letting out soft chuckles.

“No.” He says quickly, laughing a little harder as you pout at him, tightening your eyebrows as he throws his hands up in defence.

“I totally am…I’m sorry you’re just so cute right now.” he says and you can’t help but raise your eyebrows, the air around the two of you quickly changing.

Did he just call you cute?

“Are you okay?” Chan questions, and you nod throwing the napkin into the bin, making your way out of the cinema, not taking notice of Chan speed walking behind you until he grabs your shoulder.

“Wait up. I forgot how fast you walk sometimes.” He chuckles, not being able to ignore your tenseness.

“I should probably take you home, it’s getting late.” He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. You nod moving to continue walking, but Chan’s loud sigh makes your turn back to him.

“You really do hate me, don't you?” He questions, once again taking you by surprise.

“What? No, I don’t ha—“

“It’s okay, I would hate me too. I do hate me too, actually.”

“Chan, I don’t hate you.” You say with a sigh.

“Then why are you so tense around me? Why do you always close me out as soon as it feels like you’re finally accepting me again?”

“It’s hard.”

“Why?”

“Because you just forgot about me, Chan. You decided I wasn’t important to you anymore, and you decided to forget about me. Don’t you think maybe I was hurt? That maybe you coming back and asking to be my friend so out of the blue would be difficult for me?” You yelp, looking around in embarrassment as others seem to notice the two of you arguing.

Chan seems taken back at your sudden confession.

Did he really have no idea what was going on?

“I didn’t forget about you.”

“Yes, you did. You asked me to pretend like we were never friends, to forget we had been friends since we were kids.”

“I said stupid things, but I never once forgot about you. I couldn’t do it. That’s why I broke up with Hana. That’s why I am here now trying to fix everything.”

It was obvious to anyone watching that Chan was getting just as frustrated as you, his voice louder than usual.

“I made a mistake, maybe one of this biggest mistakes of my life. I just want everything to go back to how it was before university.” He continues, his sentence ending in a long sigh, as he moves to slump on one of the waiting lounges.

He looked defeated.

He had his elbows resting on his knees, with his face in his hands.

He looked how you felt.

“You can’t expect everything to go back to how it was before.”You begin taking a seat next to him.

“If it does, it’s going to take more than three weeks of studying together.”You continue, placing you hand lightly on his shoulder.

“Do you want to be friends with me?” Chan asks, finally lifting his head from his hands.

“Of course I do. It’s just going to take time for me to be sure you’re not going to run away from me again.”

Chan seemed to take the words you had said to each other to heart.

He tried his hardest to spend as much time as you as he could.

Catching up on what had happened in the two years, the two of you hadn’t been in contact.

He’d also made it his mission to introduce you to the rest of his friends.

All of whom were surprisingly, extremely welcoming.

He had also managed to raise most of his grades to a C, only getting a B in biology, but it was enough.

He was back to practicing soccer, almost everyday, solidifying his spot as sport superstar, in the university.

Things had been going as could as they could be.

“Hey, did you want to grab some hot chocolates or something after practice?” You question Chan, as the two of your made your way out to the schools grass fields.

“Yes, please.”He groans out, his addiction to the hot chocolates served at the cafe down the road making you chuckle.

“What book are you reading this time?” He questions looking down at the hardcover book in your hand.

“Another book about assassins, kingdoms and wanting to get rid of the corrupt leader.” You say, handing the book over to him as he scans the covers and the blurb on the back.

“Cool. You’re gonna have to let me borrow some.” He finishes as the two of you reach the bleachers. You nod moving to take your seat next to his gym bag, watching as he pulls off his hoodie and throws it at you.

“Put that on, don’t want you to catch a cold.” He mumbles, grabbing his bottle of water from his bag, before jogging out to his friends already warming up on the field.

You just look down at the hoodie, back to Chan and then back to the hoodie, your heartbeat raising slightly, as your catch his gaze, watching as he breaks out in a wide grin.

You nod, sliding the hoodie over your head, sliding your arms into the holes.

It was still warm.

And smelt like him.

You let out a long sigh, trying to ignore the pounding in your chest, and the small smile growing on your own face.

This couldn’t be happening.

You couldn’t be catching feelings for him.

“He really does like you.” A voice coos from the side of the bleachers, your head snapping up from the book to look at one of Chan’s friends.

“I would hope so, we are friends.” You mumble back, with a smile, before looking back down at your book.

“Things went to hell between him and Hana because of you.” He coos, taking a seat next to you on the bleachers, tying his shoe laces. You look away from your book, and towards him confused.

“What do you mean, because of me?”

“He broke up with Hana, because he realised he was still in love with you. The stupid sap just couldn’t forget you.” He answers.

“I should probably go warm up now. Have a good afternoon.” Chan’s friend coos, running off onto the field to join his friends.

In love with you?

You let out a small panicked huff, pulling you bag off the grass, throwing it over your shoulder, before hurrying away from the field of boys, trying your hardest to ignore the shouts of your name.

“Hey…Wait, where are you going?” Chan yells from behind you, his hand grasping your shoulder as he lets out a few out of breath huffs looking at you with a frown.

“Did Woojin say something to upset you? Don’t take anything he says seriously, he’s an idi—“

“He said you were in love with me.” You cut him off, your heart still pounding in your chest.

“What?”

“He said you broke up with Hana because you were still in love with me.” You repeat, watching as Chan lets out a soft curse before just nodding.

“I am. I have been for years.” He sighs and you just look at him in disbelief.

“I thought that if I dated Hana, I would be able to forget about my feelings for you, but I realised it wasn’t working when we spent so much time together so I cut ties with you. Two years later and it still didn’t work. I’m still in love with you, maybe more than I was before.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you didn’t feel the same way, I thought it would be better for both of us if we just were apart for a while.” He explains and you scoff.

“That’s stupid.”

“I know.”

“You don’t get to make that choice, Chan. You can’t decide what’s best for me, and what isn’t, only I can do that.”

“I know…I’m sorry.” He whispers and you just sigh, turning away from the boy.

“Have I ruined everything?” He asks and you shake your head with a smile.

“No.”

“Can we still get hot chocolate after?”

“Definitely.” You answer, continuing to stomp away from the boy, the small smile growing into a bigger grin.

Things definitely weren’t going to go back to how they were before.

But they were going to become so much better.

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #bang chan #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fanfic #chan #chan imagine #chan scenarios #chan fanfiction #friends to lovers #felix #felix fanfic #felix scenarios #stray kids friends to lovers

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rockcampfifteen · 4 years

Text

How I Got to Sesame Street: Bill Sherman Talks Working with Lin-Manuel Miranda, Where He Keeps His Grammys, and Being Ignored by Big Bird

I didn’t think that Rock and Roll Camp XV was even going to happen this year, if I’m being honest, but nothing about this year has been predictable, so here we are. A dozen campers and about as many counselors in a Zoom meeting. We made it work, and it worked well. Since camp wasn’t a physical, in-the-moment experience, there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for photos or camper interviews, but we did get the chance to interview Bill Sherman, an Emmy, Tony, and Grammy award winning musician. Bill has worked on musicals like Hamilton and In the Heights and is a music director for Sesame Street. He was laid-back, down-to-earth, and didn’t give any impression that he was full of himself. Bill didn’t act like most award-winning musicians and talked openly about his life and experiences. He mentioned that he had been stuck in traffic, and that he was worried he’d be late for our interview. We knew that he was taking us seriously, that he didn’t just see us as a bunch of kids wanting to have a talk.

-Elsa

Elsa: I just want to say we appreciate you taking the time to talk to us. We’ve got a lot of questions, so we’ll jump right in. What was the first instrument you learned to play, and what attracted you to it?

My parents got me piano lessons when I was in elementary school, and I was super not into it. I believe the teacher’s name was Mrs. Record—which is hilarious for a music teacher’s name—and she taught me for a couple years, and I was terrible at it, so I quit. And then in fourth grade we had to pick an instrument, and the music teacher where I went to school was a woodwind player. He was like, “Bill you should play the clarinet.” I was like, “Okay, sounds great.” And then in sixth grade—this is a good story—he goes, “You know, the clarinet has the same mechanics and fingerings of saxophones,” and I was like, “No way, that sounds like a way cooler instrument than the freaking clarinet.” If any of you are clarinet players, I don’t mean to offend you. Also, I still play the clarinet. Anyway, he showed me the saxophone and I was immediately attracted to it. And when he left the room, I took the saxophone and left with it and I didn’t tell him. So I stole it. I took it home. And it became my thing. I was obsessed with it. My teacher’s name was Gary Meyer. He later went on to be my private saxophone teacher for like a hundred years, until I went to college, and now, he in fact works for me. He plays in the Sesame Street Band. He’s a woodwind player. So it was a pay-it-forward, full circle moment, to have my fourth grade music teacher be in my band.

I got really into jazz. I went to a real big jock high school, and I stopped playing sports and just played saxophone, all day every day, all the time. And in college it became my identity. Mike can attest—I was the saxophone guy. I led bands, and I played all the time… if you see movies about colleges, and there’s a music guy? I was kind of that guy.

I later taught myself to play piano—another full circle moment—because composing on the saxophone for anybody is a difficult thing to do. I have a number of guitars that I have no idea how to play.

Elsa, by the way, has your name become like the coolest ever since the whole Frozen situation? My kids would think that’s the coolest thing ever.

Elsa: Frozen came out when I was in about second grade, and of course I was so hyped for it. I went to a theater with a friend of mine, and afterwards I was like, “Oh, I was the Ice Queen, oh yeah!!” And of course you go back to elementary school, and everyone’s like, “Oh, you have ice powers,” and so pretty soon I was tired of that. But it’s kind of gone away. It went away for a few years, and people stopped associating it with my name. And then Frozen 2 came out and here we are again—

(Bill Laughs.)

Michael: I have a question for you, Bill.

Okay, Mike. Does everybody know that Mike used to be this amazing trumpet player, and he was in my band, and he wrote for the band, and he packed this unbelievable punch, and he was like this tall, and he was this awesome powerhouse, and truth be told... I don’t know if he knows this, but in certain theory classes I would cheat off him, because he had a way better ear than I did.

Michael: I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I do think it’s hilarious that I was better at theory than you. But so anyway, in the band, you were the only one really bringing in your own songs—so I’m wondering where the urge and the confidence to start writing your own material came from?

In high school I wrote poems, and then my senior year of high school, I wrote this instrumental thing and I played it at my graduation. All the people who thought I was a nerd for being into music, they stood up and clapped and I thought that was so freaking cool. That was my first move into composing. And in college it was just kind of what we did. It just seemed like how hard can it be? You start breaking down pop tunes… at that time, we were kind of doing jam band, Ozomatli tunes, four chords and the truth. And you find that pop music in general is four chords and the truth. Like the Foo Fighters: they play four chords really quietly, and then the same four chords way louder, that’s just what they do, and it’s awesome, and it works every time.

The other thing about writing music is that it’s very hard to know if you’re quote unquote “good at it.” I’ve written thousands of songs, and I’d say 75% of them are terrible. But 25% of them people really dig into, and then you wonder, Why this song? Like for Sesame Street, I get very immediate feedback. My friends who have kids, they’ll immediately let me know, This is the song. I wrote this song for Maren Morris on Sesame Street called “Oops, Whoops, Wait, Aha” which is about children calming down, waiting to answer a question, not just like going crazy, and people will send me photos or videos of their kids dancing along to this particular tune, which is great. But that’s the first time in four years that anybody’s contacted me, and in those four years I’ve written hundred of songs that nobody cares about. And so, if you get a good one every four years, that’s great. Songwriting is like anything, you’ve gotta try it, and then you try it some more.

The other best way to do things that are creative and original is to at first emulate people. That’s what we were doing—Mike and I in our band in college. I liked Salif Keita, and I liked Fela Kuti, and I was like, I can write a song like this. We wrote songs that sounded, almost exactly like Fela Kuti tunes. It’s not really original, it definitely sounds like something you’ve heard before, but that’s how you learn how to do it. Study the craft, how other people did it.

Marilla: On Sesame Street, how do you write thousands of songs and not make them all sound the same?

That’s a really good question. I have in fact repeated myself a number of times. I was working on another show a couple years ago, and I wrote this song, and it was great, and they loved it, and then a year and a half later I sent them another song, and they got back to me and were like, “Hey, sorry to say this, but I’m pretty sure this is this,” and they sent me back the song I’d written previously, and it was almost the same exact song, and it was so freaking embarrassing. But I’ve talked with Max Martin about this, and what he does is collaborate. Invite people in. Not to steal their knowledge, but he constantly has new people coming into his fold, because I think you’re right, after a while you just start repeating yourself.

The fun thing about Sesame Street is that it can be any genre. Nothing is genre specific. I can write a hip hop tune one day. And a bossanova the next day. And a ballad another day... One of my favorite things about Sesame Street is that we’re able to bring on new people to keep it interesting and fresh. I’ve been employing more women lately, because there was a time when my writing staff was really male-heavy. Also, Abby is a girl, Rosita is a girl, we need to have that voice. Lately my job at Sesame Street has become more of being like a procurer of music, as opposed to physically writing it—more of like a producer role. People send me stuff all the time. Feel free to get my email from Mike if you have songs you want me to listen to... I will listen to anything.

Lyla: Do you have any advice for younger people—or people in general—when it comes to writing and creating music?

My advice would be to not give up. Not everyone is going to like your stuff. There’s just no way. It’s not gonna happen. It’s a lot of work to be a songwriter, because you’ll write 100 songs, and 98 of them will be terrible, and two of them will be great.

My first couple years in college, I got asked to be in like 100 bands, and I said yes to everyone. Because initially, you have to say yes to everything. You have to play in a crappy cover band. And you have to play in a cool band like we were in, and you have to play in a funk band, because everybody plays in a funk band in college, and then you get to a point where you turn a corner, and then you can start saying no. I didn’t start saying no until five years ago.

Lyla: Another question I have is that you mentioned you used to play in a lot of bands in college, and earlier you mentioned playing at your senior year graduation—did you ever think you would come this far, working with Lin-Manuel Miranda, and writing big musical pieces? Did you ever expect to earn awards or anything?

Well, no. I don’t think you ever expect awards. Success is a whole other thing—you can’t prepare yourself for things like that, it just sort of happens. In the process of saying yes to everything, I got myself into positions that I never would have expected. But when we were in college, all I wanted was to be a saxophone player, and move to New York, and make no money, and just sort of grind it out, and then I met Lin my sophomore year of college. I music directed his musical. And I had never music directed a musical, I had no idea what that meant, but I said yes. And I went on to direct all of his musicals in college, and then we graduated college, and we were roommates forever, and then it was like, “Hey, people want to make In the Heights into something,” and I was like, “Okay, that seems like the most logical thing to be doing,” so we made In the Heights…

I got involved in musicals just randomly, because I said yes to something. I’d never liked musicals. I’d seen Rent, with the original cast, but I’d never listened to Sondheim, or Andrew Lloyd Webber…

But the success thing, it all happened very quickly. Between the ages of 22 and 26. In those four years, it was like marriage, children, awards. I wasn’t expecting any of that stuff.

People come over to my house and pose with my awards, which makes me really uncomfortable, and then one person drank out of the Grammy once... that happened. I have a platinum record in my bathroom. I didn’t know where else to put it.

Elsa: Have you ever thought about writing your own musical?

It’s weird to go from writing minute and a half long songs that are like a single verse and a chorus, to writing these ten minute long opuses that have to have all this narrative in them, and do all this stuff—it’s definitely a different side of my brain. With & Juliet, it was taking Max Martin’s music and turning it into a musical. Deconstructing all these pop hits like “Oops I Did It Again.”

Marilla: How did it feel to see Hamilton on Disney Plus all these years after you worked on it?

It was far out. It was like seeing an old friend. It’s filmed really well, and you’re seeing views of things you’ve never seen before, it sounds fantastic… it just brought back a lot of old memories. Chris Jackson has been my best friend for like a hundred years, and so has Lin, and seeing them on stage, it was a reminder of how good they are… Now, years later, my children have memorized the record, they’re singing the whole thing, which is unbelievably irritating. My daughter—she thinks she knows the whole thing, but she really doesn’t, she just makes up her own lines during the really fast parts, which is really funny, and makes me laugh. I watched it the day it came out. It was a nice excuse to reach out to friends and tell them how good it is, how good they are.. And at a time when theaters are closed, it was cool to see people excited about seeing theater..

Lizzy: What’s your favorite thing to work on, out of all these different projects?

When we were in college, I thought being in a band was the coolest thing ever, and I wanted to play live music for my whole life, and I didn’t want to do anything else. And now I do other things, and all I want to do is play in a band in front of people! Once a year Sesame Street has a gala that some very famous person will come and play at. Last year it was John Legend, two years ago it was Michael Buble, and so there was this big band, and I played in it, and I had so much fun. I kind of miss performing. I play in this thing called Freestyle Love Supreme, which is this documentary that was on Hulu, we make up rap songs--and that’s fun, but I play keyboards, sort of behind the scenes, and so I sort of miss having a band, like we did in college. I’m getting all these memories, Mike, about WestCo Cafe.

These days my favorite thing is collaborating with new folks. We just finished the In the Heights movie, which comes out next year, Sesame Street goes into production in a couple weeks… I’ve been incredibly lucky and honored to do what I do, so talking about it always makes me feel sort of strange, because to me it’s just what I do, but to you it’s like, there’s no way that’s a real job, and explaining it sounds ridiculous, and I’m glad you wanted to listen to me talk about myself for half an hour.

Peter: What’s it like working with Big Bird?

Every day that I walk on to the Sesame Street set, I kind of have to pinch myself a little bit. The guy who played Big Bird passed away a couple years ago. He’s also the guy who played Oscar the Grouch, and he didn’t really know me for a couple years, and then I went to an award show, and I won an award, and he’s actually the guy who presented it to me, and so he hands me the award, and he goes, “Oh my God, I never knew what you did.” And so imagine Big Bird saying to you, “I never knew what you did.” And that was terrifying. Every time I hear Big Bird’s voice, or Kermit’s voice, or Grover --- it freaks me out, because I was a big Grover fan when I was a kid. Those are the times when you’re like, Whoa, this is surreal.

#pendleton #rock and roll camp #sesame street #hamilton #in the heights #lin manuel miranda

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fruityoosung · 4 years

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this must be my dream.

pairing : daichixfem!readerxsugawara

rating : mature & NSFW

trigger warning : double penetration, overstimulation, usage of sextoy, spanking, pure & absolute filth

the joint she had earlier was getting to her now, the girl has maintained composure through out the whole night but now that the rest of the third year volleyball players have left daichi’s house, she’s slowly unraveling into her unhinged, wild persona— one that rarely comes out and reeks of confidence and cockiness. like a dull, grey python who’s finally shedding her outer scales to reveal her true form of a mirror-like jet black snake with green iridescent scales that shone in the light.

sawamura daichi was sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched the girl shakes off kuroo’s black hoodie that she borrowed moments prior. it was because the air conditioning in the third year’s living room was blasting at the lowest temperature to compensate the warm clouds of marijuana being puffed out by several high school seniors who’s equipped with remaining adrenaline that’s needed to be shaken off.

the girl bunched the black hoodie in her hands, savouring the musky but sweet scent of the nekoma team captain. she folded it up nicely and placed it on daichi’s study table so she could return it back to it’s owner when she sees him again soon. now, she was left with her white lace, wrap top that shows a good amount of her midriff and a skater skirt that ended two inches below her ass, tasteful enough that the outline of her round, plump ass is imprinted through the somewhat thick skirt.

she strutted close towards the karasuno team captain who’s eyes were just lingering at her. she felt it, of course and she knows where this will go. it’s not the first time time that the respective captains of their sports team seek pleasure in one another. it was as if it was a routine every time they get high, it was expected. the girl stood in front of him, her lean, toned figure towering over his muscular, beefy ones. using her forefinger, she tilt his face upwards before kissing him square on the lips. their mouths were warm from the heat of the blunt. daichi didn’t waste any time to explore her mouth with his tongue while his hand roughly pulled her into his lap, having her long legs dangling from beside him. his large, calloused hands hover over the translucent, pale skin under her skirt— his strong, skilled fingers hitting the hem of her panties, pulling the elastic band and snapping it back against her skin. she jolted in his lap, subsequently grinding herself on his crotch.

“i’m so glad i got to you first.” daichi whispered against her lips. her arms are wrapped around his neck, keeping their body as close as they can.

“watch yourself captain. i’m not a prize one can win.” she whistled, grabbing his jaw in her palm, pulling away to meet his dark, hungry eyes.

“by hearing you call me that on my bed right now makes me feel like i’ve won. i’m the only one who can ruin you sweet peach.”

shivers ran down her spine, curse him and that sweet mouth of his that always turned her leg into jelly and brings a flush of warmth to her core. daichi’s hands was still roaming under her skirt, pinching her butt, his fingers accidentally grazing her already moistening clit that made her squeeze her thighs between his big hands. the door was suddenly pushed open, revealing daichi’s pseudo-vice captain of his team, number #2 sugawara koushi, the silver haired third year setter.

“hey dai— holy fuck!” sugawara’s eyes widen at the sight of his captain and close female friend in the heated position.

“shit, uh i’m sorry.” a tinge of red appeared on the cheeks of his pale face but his eyes wandered at the silhouette of her tight body. a vision almost everyone in karasuno high wishes to seek. the girl straddling the captain who was sizes bigger than her it was enough to make his dick get hard.

“suga-san i thought you’re going home?” daichi said to his friend, slightly smirking at the tightening of his pants. the girl just grinned deviously to herself, staring lustfully into the silver haired boy, finally recognising her effects on others.

“i-i don’t think i’m able to go home sto-stoned like this.” he stuttered in his words, gulping at the sight of the girl writhing on top of his best friend as daichi kept rubbing the wet patch on her panties.

“well then, a-ah, fuck! daichi.” a moan and a curse escape her lips and suga wanted to faint right then and there. she’s so fucking beautiful and he wonders how she would feel—

she breathed heavily against daichi’s jugular, grinning at the boy. “you should stay the night then.”

sugawara koushi is not as innocent as people paint him to be. he’s a handsome, bright setter playing with a powerhouse school, of course he’s caught some bodies in his midst. but what he did not expect, was the captain of his team no-strings-attached relationship with one of the most elite student in karasuno high. she was the definition of brains and beauty and often being compared to shimizu kiyoko. little did they know that the two ladies had a fling together way back when.

“what a great idea princess.” daichi mused, almost cracking up at the imminent darkening of his best friend’s cheeks.

oh what the hell, sugawara thinks. he knows where this is gonna go. but fuck it, she’s an absolute goddess and all his pea-sized brain is thinking about is the thought of her screaming out his name.

“so princess, why don’t you invite our friend over there and ride him for me?” daichi turned to face the girl in his lap, her cheeks were tinted red from the heat and the filthy thoughts in her head. god, did she hope that the number #2 have some game.

the girl stood from daichi’s lap, walked towards the silver haired boy who was glued onto his feet, still processing what’s about to happen. she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her before pushing him down daichi’s king sized bed. the girl trapped him between her legs and crashed her lips against his— the boy under her froze for a solid second before his lips began to move in the same rhythm as hers. his hand slipped underneath her skirt, savouring the feeling of her warm flesh under his palms. her hands also found their way under the white sweatshirt he was wearing, tracing his sculpted, rock hard abs from years of conditioning and training with her fingers. she wasted no time before lifting the sweatshirt away from his body, exposing his milky white, toned and muscular torso.

while their lips are still connected and tongues exploring each other, sugawara’s getting uncomfortable at the straining of his cock against his jeans. he gracefully unbuckled the metal belt and kicked off the trousers and boxers, leaving his hard on pressed against his stomach. he couldn’t wait no longer, he wants her, he craves for her. the girl damn near whimpered at the sight of his red, abused tip that was already leaking with precum. she didn’t realised he was packing.

the wet patch in her white panties grew and she began to tremble. she wants to take the boy in her. she kneeled in between him and pulled her panties down, sugawara’s precum leaked more at the sight of her wetness trailing from her pussy and her panties.

“you’re on birth control?” sugawara asked, he’s already breathing heavily.

the girl wiped the precum on his dick using her thumb and spread it down his shaft as a lubricant. with her own slick, it was enough.

“of course.” she lined up his cock with her entrance before slowly lowering herself onto him, ultimately bottoming him out.

the sensation of his girth hitting the walls of her cervix made her cry out in both pleasure and pain. sugawara guided her by grabbing her thigh as she began to ride his cock. his tongue was still exploring her mouth until he moved lower and licked a clean stripe up her neck, making her moan out his name louder.

“suga-san... a-ah shit!” she cried as he began sucking on her neck, making sure to leave his mark on her. sugawara peppers hot, wet kisses on her neck and down to her collarbones, leaving faint pink marks that will sure stay with her tomorrow.

“god, baby you’re so good riding my cock like that.” he breathes against her neck. breathy moans and whispers kept leaving her mouth as she tugged at the silver tuft of hair on his nape to gain some control.

daichi, who was watching from the edge of the bed was palming himself at the sight of his best friend and fuckbuddy savouring each other. he managed to suppress his groans but failed as his high libido maxed out. he wants to join in on the fun too. he stripped from his training shorts and removed his boxers, as he had expected, he was already so close to cumming. he moved closer towards the two and positioned himself right behind her, using his free hand, he lubricated himself using his cum before thrusting into her ass without a warning.

the girl, who did not expect the abrupt penetration screamed at the sensation, it felt like she was being torn in half and she absolutely loved it.

“fuck! oh my god! daichi, hnng please.” she pleaded, as he slowly thrust himself into her at the same pace as sugawara’s cock riding in and out of her. the sensation she felt was just pure euphoria and in any moment her walls will crumble down like putty in their hands. daichi grabbed her throat from the back and gently applied pressure against it as sugawara nipped away on her translucent skin, sending bundles of pleasure from the nerve endings.

“i know why you wanted kuroo’s sweatshirt.” sugawara hummed against her skin. she was too busy whimpering to notice his fingers undoing the laced up detail of her shirt.

“our sweet peach was horny.” daichi mused from behind her before sugawara untied the shirt and threw it beside the bed, exposing the hard nipples of her breasts. yes, she didn’t wear a bra. the shirt was thick enough to cover her boobs through the day but not when there’s attractive men around her that makes her want to squeeze her thighs together. the two karasuno members definitely noticed that while she was busy smoking with kuroo and atsumu in beside her.

“little miss didn’t wore a bra and she didn’t want anyone to notice her nipples getting hard.” sugawara quipped again, tongue encircling around her areolas making her rolled her body back into daichi’s embrace. one, which was secured safely around her throat and another too close to her clit. she has to displaced a cry as his middle finger began rubbing circles on her already convulsing clit from sugawara’s cock constantly hitting her most sensitive bundles.

she began sped up her thrust to catch her high that is slowly building like a wall towering above her, daichi’s thrust also increased it’s pace to match with the desperate thrusts of the girl who craved a sweet release. with every jerk, she felt like she’ll pass out if she comes any sooner.

“hnng, i-i’m gonna cum.” she choked out, hands clawing away at suga’s biceps as her hips grind into his.

“i’m close too, fuck— baby just like that.” the boy under her groaned at the feeling of her walls clenching around his cock.

“fuck princess you feel so good around me.” daichi breathed into her ears. the praises she was getting from both men made her feel like she’s on top of the world.

“fuck! i’m gonn—“ she didn’t even finish her words as the trio released their liquid euphoria simultaneously. her walls around the men’s cocks clenched as she milked them dry, filling her up to the brim.

an intoxicated scream ripped from her throat as she felt her walls came crashing down. groans left the men’s lips as they released their seeds into her holes, it was a state of pure bliss for the three of them.

moans and whines left her lips as she’s slowly coming down from her high. her clit and ass are extra sensitive from being abused by the two men as she whimpers at the slightest position shift by them. the girl had to slap her mouth shut with her hand as they pull out their cocks from her with trail of cum from both her and the men was coated around the shaft.

the girl remained straddled on sugawara’s lap but her form is now trembling at her high sensitivity and her clit was red and pulsing. at the moment, her sensitivity is probably enough to make her cum in seconds.

daichi peppered kisses on her shoulder while sugawara pulled her for a kiss on the lips.

“god, so sensitive.” sugawara whispered against her lips. his fingers lightly brushed against her nub, a soft curse left her tongue. the room was quiet apart from heavy breaths and slight whimpers from the occupants.

the girl crawled off sugawara’s lap and leaned against the headboard with her knees up, exposing her holes which are now filled with white, milky load of the men. daichi and sugawara can only stare at the girl, their cock twitched at the sight of her taking them so well.

“look at you princess. you like to be filled up do you?” daichi teased, using his finger to swipe the cum trailing down her thigh, too damn close to her center. she clench at his finger skating down her sensitive thigh, making the cum trailed down more.

the silver haired boy can only chuckle. maxing out someone’s sensitivity has always been one of his biggest pleasure in sex and the sight of the girl most boys dreamed of fucking, writhing at his mercy like that bloomed some arrogance in him.

daichi still isn’t satisfied so he grabbed her by her hand and made her crawl to the edge of the bed, leaving sugawara still tending to his release. the captain towered over her before kissing her jaw and slowly trailing his lips down until he was kneeling on the floor. using his hands, he spread her legs open, her pink nub was still pulsing and he purposefully inched his lips closer towards her pussy until his warm breathe was hitting the entrance. she was so goddamn close to unraveling again.

“suga-san lets play a game.” daichi hummed. the vibration of his voice sent a shock of pleasure through her whole body.

“what is it?” sugawara stood from the bed and stood, towering beside her with his cock in his hand. he was smirking.

“i’m going to eat our angel out and you’re gonna fuck her throat. if she cums, we’ll punish her.” daichi said, grinning at his best friend as she gasped in pleasure? offence? she don’t know.

“i don’t think that’s fair?” she managed to breathed out. her hands running through her hair. she’s in for deep shit.

daichi shushed against her clit which sent vibrations everywhere in her body. she instantaneously rolled her hips towards his mouth before he kitten licked her pink nub and began sucking on it. moans and profanities left her lips again. it should be a sin that the captain is way too good at head and often times get her to cum with just his tongue.

“open up.” sugawara said and she turned to face the silver head boy. he had one leg propped up against the mattress and the tip was leaking again with his milky white cum.

the girl stuck out her tongue and licked the cum off his tip cleanly, as his eyes rolled back, she took him whole in her mouth— his tip hitting the back of her throat. suppressing her urge to gag, her tongue wrapped around his cock as she moved back and forth. sugawara groaned at the feeling of the girl’s warm mouth around his cock. how often did she give head for her to be so good? the girl seemed so innocent.

as the girl was taking sugawara in her mouth, daichi’s tongue was skilfully lapped around her pussy, savouring her to the best extent. she’s his best girl, she deserved the best head of her life. of course, the game was rigged so that she’s gonna cum as hard as he wishes. he sucked on her nub, tongue-fucked her, maxing out her sex.

she’s slowly losing control at the sensation of sugawara’s cock in her mouth because she was busy chasing her own high. sugawara grabbed the back of her head and gently pulled her closer, the tip of his cock hitting her throat made her gag and the sound she made was gospel to his ears. sugawara’s cock hums against her choked out moans, whimpers and curses as his best friend was eating her out so skilfully. sugawara knows she’s about to come undone and he is too, the girl is way too damn skilled for her own good.

the grip she had on the crown of daichi’s head was to anchor her hips to rock against his tongue. it just feels so damn good that she didn’t care that’s she going to be punished. she didn’t care her sensitivity is going to destroy her. she wants to cry out the captain and the setter’s name and be overstimulated so that she couldn’t even remember her own fucking name.

she choked out a curse as she felt herself coming undone in daichi’s mercy. but moments later, sugawara emptied his second load into her mouth. she swallowed him wholly and he felt pride as she wiped the cum off her lips. god she’s so fucking good, so fucking good.

“you came.” daichi wiped her cum off his lips and smirked. she knows he wanted her to come. he’s sadistic like that.

“well, you got a vibrator lying around?” sugawara asked, a hint of tease in his tone before moving to pile of his clothes and pulling his belt out from the loops of his jeans.

her eyes grew wide. oh no, not the vibrator. daichi grinned in delight at the sight of the girl, already envisioning what’s about to happen to her.

“yeah actually, second drawer from the bottom.” daichi said, standing up from his kneeling position and grabbed the belt from sugawara’s hands.

“shit.” sugawara cursed at the feeling of the red bullet vibrator with length similar to that of daichi’s and his. sugawara return and sat beside her. she flashed her best puppy dog smile to the man but he just smirked and brushed the fallen bangs behind her ears.

“nice try princess. but you’re not getting out of this one.” sugawara said as he switched on the vibrator. the familiar buzz of the contraption was enough to send her into frenzy. she’s not even fully down from her second high yet. daichi came from her other side before looping the belt into a makeshift handcuff. the leather cuffs looped around her wrist and daichi tugged at it, tightening it at once.

sugawara grabbed her by her neck and force her down so that she is now bent over his lap. she could hear the increased speed that he had set before he hovers the vibrational device over her clit.

she was already screaming. her maxed out sensitivity had her convulsing against his lap.

“you safe word is mint princess, remember that.” sugawara said and she nodded as she writhe under the goddamned device. god it feels so good but so painful at the same time. before she could scream out another profanity, a loud and forceful smack was applied against her ass by daichi. her liquid euphoria was dripping down to sugawara’s thigh at the stinging sensation of his best friend’s powerful palm. he’s a volleyball player after all.

“a-ah! fuck suga please!” she screamed and cursed, the vibrator’s increasing speed and sugawara’s teasing hands made her see stars. one moment he’s having it too close to her clit and then later, he pulled the self pleasuring device away, stripping her off the sensation.

“count with me darling. if you lost count, we’re starting back to one.” daichi’s tone was awfully dangerous. the sadism is probably one of her favourite thing about the team captain.

a loud smack was delivered once again to her ass. she whimpered at the sting.

“one.” she cried, the vibrating device pulsed against her clit tenaciously.

and another.

“two!” she cried again, unraveled. sugawara purposefully applied pressure on her clit with the vibrator long enough until she could answer to the captain.

her ass are stinging with red handprints, the captain marking her. she’s not going to be able to sit down comfortably for days.

“ten! a-ah fuck!” she came again. by the time they hit ten, she had orgasmed a total amount of five times and she’s about to meet her maker.

a last cry left her lips as the vibrator was shut off and the coldness of sugawara’s hand cup her butt. she was warm with heat, cum and sweat. sugawara lift her up from his lap and kiss her on the mouth, she was too weak and tired to kiss him back with much vigour.

“daichi-san look at her. isn’t she pretty?” sugawara pulled away and raked at her naked, fucked out state. pink and purple marks were littered on her skin, beads of sweat perspired on her forehead, her wrist red from struggling against the leather bond. she looks like dream.

daichi chuckled and grabbed her by the throat again, pulling her against him and forcefully turn her to face him. he kissed her, savouring her taste again, he’ll never get over how good she taste, how minty and sweet her breath still is even with swallowing his best friend’s cum. he uses his hand against her throat to push her back against the bed. sugawara had slipped away from under her and can only watch his best friend fucked the girl’s brain out one last time.

“i’m not done with you yet sweet peach.” daichi smirked against her neck. that goddamn high libido of his. the girl can only whimper at his grasp, her energy and soul vanished from catching her high over and over. he positioned his cock at her entrance and thrusts deep into her. her back arched towards him and she screamed at the ripping sensation again.

it’s too much, way too much.

“fuck baby i love how you feel around me. god, i wish i can fuck you forever.” he groaned out with every thrust. her whimpers grew louder, obviously almost reaching her high not even a minute into him fucking into her.

she couldn’t do anything. her hands are cuffed and legs are pinned with the captain’s body. she’s paralysed, with pleasure and pain. tears starts to roll down her eyes. it feels so fucking good but hurts so fucking bad.

“daichi-san you’re gonna break her.” sugawara chuckled as he wiped her tears away. with one last thrust, daichi emptied his load in her and her back arched against daichi’s torso, a toes curled at the euphoria, a string of profanity and the captain’s name left her lips. she couldn’t see, everything was blurry from her tears and her fucked out mind. she didn’t think she can function properly anymore. it was the most intense orgasm she’s ever had.

daichi collected himself and kissed her tears away before capturing her lips in his.

“you did so well for us princess.” daichi said, taking her face in his hands. her cheeks warmed up red at the praise. daichi removes himself from her and made her scrunched her face and squeezed her thigh together at the absence of the man’s cock. the leather bond from her wrist was removed, leaving a profoundly red mark. it was a sight to behold

daichi looked at the other man in the room, winking at his best friend as sugawara’s cheek become tinged in red too.

the silver haired boy honestly didn’t know where his ferocity came from but he was glad he could share it to the girl laid on his best friend’s bed, all disoriented and sensitive from his doings.

sugawara bent down and kissed her lips one more time. “i’ll go run us a bath yeah?”

daichi nodded and pulled out the aloe vera gel from beside his bed to tend the discolouration of her wrist and his palm against her round, pretty ass. he poured out the water from his bottle water into a glass on his nightstand and gave it to her to soothe her throat.

the rest of the night was spent by taking care of each other in the bathtub and cuddling the night away.

though the next morning, she couldn’t even stand up and sit down, let alone walking.

curse those volleyball players.

a/n : I DIDN’T REALISED HOW DETAILED I WROTE IT ON GOD I’M SORRY

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq headcannons #daichi sawamura x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #this is so filthy JESUS

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rkxsungwoon-blog · 5 years

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☆ mga5 callbacks; june 27 ! performance: the last of the real ones by fall out boy (singing + piano) ↪ song reference ( 0:06 - 1:11, 2:42 - 3:33 ) / piano reference ( 0:07 - 1:14, 3:08 - 4:01 )

when the email arrives, sungwoon is preoccupied, which is what he’ll call being elbow deep in kimchi for posterity’s sake. the kitchen looks like the scene of a bloody murder, and he grimaces at the thought of having to clean it up alone (unless he can rope any of the guys into doing it for him). it’s one of those things that just had to be done during his day off from work, however, like… laundry, or cleaning the bathroom, or washing the floors. to be clear, sungwoon is not a fussy person by nature; he just feels better when he has a lot on his plate. keeping himself busy with a thousand different things means he has no time to dwell, and sungwoon has too much to dwell on these days. the mgas aren’t even first on his list of ‘shit sungwoon is very obviously and determinedly not touching with a ten foot pole’.

but they are there, a persistent reminder of decisions he’s made, for better or for worse. decisions they’ve all made, since this year is about more than just him and daniel. in some ways, he’s a supporting character this time around; the bulk of the anxiety, the nervousness, the fluttering feelings that come with your first performance ought to belong to woojin, kenta, and minhyun. sungwoon is a little older, a little wiser, no longer the wide-eyed newbie with shaky knees from last season. he wonders what it says about him that he sort of misses that. not the shaky knees part, but being excited for what’s to come—for the beginning of a journey, not a stroll down a familiar path.

unlike the rest, he’s not waiting on the results of their audition with the same fervor. his lack of interest isn’t born out of confidence; rather, the experience of having gone through all this once already mellows him out and makes him less desperate for the news, knowing it’ll come when it comes. thus, when the first member of empty enigma receives an all-important email from mnet, sungwoon is in no haste to check if he received one too. “i’ll do it later,” he says, turning his attention back to his work. neither kenta nor minhyun seem eager to open it anyway—until daniel arrives and shatters the calm with his exuberance.

sungwoon is only tangentially aware of the results (and the celebrations), but he can’t stop the smile from spreading over his face as he hears the other celebrate behind him. he’s thrilled on their behalf, obviously. in his biased opinion, all his friends deserve to make it till the end of this competition. from his self-imposed exile in the kitchen, he makes it a point to look over his shoulder and say, “i always knew you guys had it in you,” the way all gruff-but-proud dads do in the movies.

but otherwise, sungwoon is, once again, elbow deep in kimchi no matter how much kenta and daniel bother him to check his phone please (“do you guys just not want to eat, then?” sungwoon grumbles). they’re too persistent for him to ignore, so he washes up and takes his sweet time in pulling out his phone to check the inbox (just to mess with them).

and maybe there is a brief moment where sungwoon’s throat constricts because he can’t see anything from mnet there, and he thinks, wildly, about how funny it would be if he was the only member of the band so far who didn’t actually qualify. but he refreshes and there it is, the callback notice with all the details he needs for the second round of pre-show performances. he keeps his expression impassive as he turns the screen to show the rest of his friends. “i’m in,” he says in his best hacker voice. and later, once they’ve bothered woojin into checking his emails as well, he can say, “we’re all in.” no dream-like disbelief to spare here; sungwoon believes that empty enigma deserves at least this much. it’s not full confirmation of all their hard work—they’re not on the show yet—but it’s a step forward.

and they’re all taking it together.

sungwoon takes a few more days off work to figure out his performance. his boss doesn’t buy his cryptic, half-assed excuses for why he needs the vacation; she simply tells him to consider the time off his belated birthday gift. the kind edge to her smile makes sungwoon feel marginally better about being selfish here. if he really pushed himself, he could’ve managed to put something together while working days, but sungwoon wants to give the callbacks his entire focus. unlike daniel or kenta or even woojin, he doesn’t instinctively know what he’ll be performing. the back ups (and their back ups) from his first audition are obsolete or sound boring to him now. sungwoon feels the need to start over.

daniel’s doing an original song, from what he knows. sungwoon wonders if he should go the same route too. maybe do a song off the album, since they are meant to promote it whenever they can. hunched over his desk, he goes through the album tracklist multiple times in search of a potential song—and comes back to sleepless in phoenix and winter everywhere each time. it would be the ultimate power play, right? to perform his own released song on a platform like the mgas? as squall, as empty enigma’s frontman, this should be his job.

but after spending a couple of hours reworking the songs to fit the two minute limit, sungwoon decides against it. they’re too blatant, too personal. he almost tells himself they belong to squall, but he knows that’s not entirely true. the album and these songs were the first time he tried to reconcile squall and sungwoon into one person. the results are… still a little confusing, but sungwoon made the attempt and feels better about harnessing them both overall. maybe they aren’t so different—all personas, all facets that ultimately combine to make him who he is.

searching for a replacement is a daunting task, mostly because it forces sungwoon to confront what type of performer he wants to be in front of the judges. the risky play would be to sing and dance, but it feels like a risk for risk’s sake and nothing else. he could just sing a powerhouse ballad or something (sungwoon knows he’s good enough to pull it off), but that doesn’t feel like him either—it’s too safe. the answer lies somewhere with squall, who all but shoves sungwoon to the song he eventually settles on. it’s… almost perfect: rock, with a sick piano accompaniment sungwoon quickly makes his own. it combines the best parts of him.

sleepless nights pile up as he works on the rearrangement, settling for nothing less than perfection. there is quite a bit to work through; his first attempt at the rearrangement is too dramatic, so he shifts gears and tweaks until he’s happy with the way it sounds. the big worry following that is pronunciation. doing a song purely in english is always tricky, but sungwoon has done enough covers with empty enigma to feel comfortable with it. the rest of the band members are busy with their own preparations in the meantime, and while he’d never call their house quiet, it does feel a little lonely. he consoles himself by thinking about how good performance day will be, to see them all come together.

(in his weaker moments, sungwoon nearly texts daniel, the lyrics from his chosen song swimming in his head. he’s not sure why it resonates with him so much. the translation into korean is clunky, the original meaning lost, but when he thinks of that ultra-kind of love you never walk away from, daniel’s face pops into his mind. at the end of the day, he doesn’t. it seems too much too soon, a blatant acknowledgement of whatever there is between them. sungwoon wishes he could name it, but it’s still too uncertain for him to believe in wholeheartedly. maybe one day, when he confronts the feelings he’s been avoiding, but for now—he thinks, and dreams).

“i’m not playing a keytar for the callbacks.”

at certain times in a young man’s life, he has to put his foot down. for sungwoon, this is one of those times. in his eagerness to pull off the best performance possible, he forgot to consider the logistics of… well, everything. specifically, how much effort and sheer physical strength it takes to lug a keyboard across town for a two minute performance. kenta suggests the keytar instead, and sungwoon almost warms up to the idea until he remembers how fucking stupid a keytar looks on anyone. this is not the time for sungwoon to look fucking stupid.

minhyun offers to help, which is nearly enough for sungwoon to insist on doing it himself, but god knows he can’t afford to be petty today. so he swallows his pride and accepts minhyun’s generous offer, promising vaguely to pay him back somehow. smiles, a little, when minhyun’s back is turned, so faintly that he doesn’t even know it until the moment passes. the whole band is dressed in empty enigma t-shirts, courtesy of kenta, to try and get some promo in where they can. it feels like they’re outfitted for a war, which might be fitting in the case of the mgas. at least

they arrive at the venue together with time to spare, though sungwoon doesn’t linger where he’s not meant to—he has a whole fucking keyboard to take care of. maybe he regrets insisting on bringing it, but it’s too late now! instead of focusing on his questionable upper body strength, he takes some time to survey the crowd gathered around. empty enigma are only five out of a hundred. it seemed like such a large number, but sungwoon has worked bigger crowds as squall before. still, this isn’t a dimly lit club, the haze of the smoke machine obscuring the audience’s faces. he actually spots quite a few familiar ones as he makes his way over to some free seats with the rest of the band.

which places them near people sungwoon is mildly uncomfortable to see here. he ends up seated directly in front of eunji and turns around briefly to offer a half-hearted smile. somehow, he doesn’t feel like it lands the way he intends it to. joohyun is further away, saving sungwoon the awkwardness of having to say hello, but she’s right behind daniel. and there is, despite his best efforts, a heavy weight settling on his shoulders as he thinks about the reality he’s been desperately trying to avoid by keeping busy and not allowing his mind to drift to daniel’s confession of a few weeks ago. sometimes sungwoon wishes he were more ignorant and less likely to pick up on the glaringly obvious clues in front of him.

this is not what he wants to think about during callbacks, not when he’s spent so long studiously ignoring the ramifications of whatever the fuck it means to be in love with someone who tells you he’s split between two people. in his darker moments, sungwoon wonders if he’ll ever be enough for someone on his own. while he knows daniel’s indecision doesn’t come from a place of cruelty, if he allows himself to dwell on it, he just feels like shit. in his lighter moments, sungwoon wonders if he could ever be selfless enough to retreat and make the decision that much simpler on daniel, to cut himself out of the equation altogether before he has a chance to get hurt, but—

(“i really, really like you.”)

if only he weren’t greedy. if only he didn’t want so desperately to be chosen this time.

his heart might be a mess, but his head is still alert enough to note the entrance of the five ceos and the hush that descends throughout the room. sungwoon recalls their faces with startling clarity from the previous year, and thinks wryly that he might have an edge on most others here. he’s familiar with being judged by them. but with that comes regret as well; he’d felt inadequate for the first time in a while in front of their eyes during the last season. if sungwoon knew they would be present for this round of judging, he likely would’ve done something different to show he took their criticisms to heart and worked hard to improve. sing and dance, damn the risk, just to make it clear he respected them enough to work on their notes.

it’s too late now. resting a hand on the keyboard propped up beside his chair, sungwoon swallows a sigh and plasters a smile on his face. at the end of the day, he’s still excited about his performance the direction he’s chosen to take. sungwoon just hopes his oversight won’t come back to bite him in the ass. his earlier confidence taking another hit, he’s a little quieter than normal as the ceos begin calling individual performers up one after another. the people in front of the band are rowdy enough on their own; sungwoon makes a face in their direction, then leans over to woojin to whisper, “you’d think the loud crowd would tone it down for the cameras,” to have woojin nod in agreement.

the performances blur together soon enough. a few stand out enough for sungwoon to straighten up in his seat in interest, and some have him slumping down and cringing. kenta’s chatty, likely because he’s nervous, so the bulk of sungwoon’s commentary is directed at him. part of him misses the familiarity of daniel, the long-suffering patience with which he endured sungwoon’s reactions last year. he wants desperately to talk to him, but he’s scared of looking over and seeing something he doesn’t want to. so he contents himself with talking to kenta and woojin, laughing and critiquing and expressing excitement for their performances, until—

he glances over by accident in time to see joohyun lean forward to whisper something in daniel’s ear. sungwoon blinks hard and tears his eyes away, ignoring the voice in his head that whispers, they look so good together. it’s different knowing daniel cares about joohyun and different seeing it in front of him, the easy way in which they both seem to fit, like two puzzle pieces put together at last. maybe this is what love should look like, the proper fucking kind of love. whatever sungwoon feels still seems unnatural some days, like he’s going against nature and everything right in the world and this heartache is his punishment for it. maybe he’ll hurt a thousand times over for the slimmest glimmer of hope—

running a hand through his hair and destroying the hairstyle he carefully worked on this morning, sungwoon tells himself to snap the fuck out of it. this is not the time or place for personal problems. compartmentalization is a wondrous skill, and he retreats into the safe, protective nonchalance of squall. but even squall is morose and annoyed and burning with the bitter kind of jealousy sungwoon specifically does not want to engage in, so he breaks away from him as well and finds himself drifting.

when daniel’s name is called, sungwoon is still a little distracted and dazed, able to offer only a hasty, “good luck,” before he’s gone. he barely notices minhyun has moved into the seat beside him until his hand wraps around sungwoon’s, and he’d laugh at how regular this seems to have become if it weren’t for the tight feeling in his chest. if he didn’t need this and the cheap comfort it provides. whether it’s minhyun or just the physical contact itself, the brief moment anchors him more solidly to the ground and he thinks, it’s okay. i have this.

daniel’s performance is as good as sungwoon expects it to be, and he’s so proud of his friend for having the courage to do an original song. he wishes he had enough courage to lean over and say so, but something keeps him rooted in place. kenta and minhyun perform shortly after, with sungwoon jokingly telling kenta to “hit ‘em with the high and low,” before his performance. they’re both good—minhyun, especially, is much better than sungwoon expected—and he can’t help but think that this is his band. all these talented individuals are his friends. woojin absolutely kills it with his dancing as well; sungwoon genuinely didn’t know he was that good. giving woojin’s shoulder a gentle, congratulatory squeeze when he returns to his seat, sungwoon turns to the front and awaits his turn.

by some twist of fate, hyun bin is the one to call his name. it’s ironic enough that he feels like it might be on purpose. hyun bin was the one to deliver his elimination sentence last year, his complimentary words offset by the harsh truth. sungwoon sucks in a deep breath and stands up to answer the summons, keyboard in tow. full circle, right? he resolutely does not look at daniel or joohyun or any of his friends as he stands in front of the judges, his back straight and head held high, focus narrowing on the stage and only the stage. no time for bullshit—this is his spotlight.

“hello, my name is ha sungwoon.” diligently, he sinks into a bow before throwing the ceos a smile. “i didn’t think we would meet again so soon.” or at all, but life has a funny way of working out. “i’m no longer the tiny giant from last year; i’ve grown.” literally, because shoe lifts, which he points to with a sheepish laugh, but in skill as well. he hopes that much will be obvious on its own. “i will be performing the last of the real ones by fall out boy today. thank you for this opportunity.” with practiced ease, he slips his keyboard out of its cover and finishes setting up, mind calming as he stands poised to begin.

the first notes he plays stand on their own, bereft of sungwoon’s vocals. he’d thought about cutting straight to the first verse initially, but the initial moment of accompaniment grounds him, puts him in a familiar territory. everything else falls away, like a crumbling cliff-face into the dark sea below. thinking (or overthinking) is not necessary when he plays the piano; it comes from somewhere within, his fingers guided by an unseen force. the piano rearrangement is a lot softer than the original, but sungwoon intended it that way on purpose. the stripped down version allows his vocals to stand out more without sacrificing the integrity of the song. but it’s still representative of him and the things he loves best: singing, playing the piano, and getting creative with his music. he can’t think of anything else that could better express the artist he is and wants to be.

i was just an only child of the universe and then i found you and then i found you you are the sun and i am just the planets spinning around you spinning around you

you were too good to be true gold plated but what's inside you but what's inside you i know this whole damn city thinks it needs you but not as much as i do as much as i do, yeah

the ghost of a smile touches his lips as he flows easily into the first verse. initially, it is slow, a gentle confession he pours his heart into. eyes fluttering shut, sungwoon channels his own feelings of discovery and sense of wonderment at falling in love so intensely for the first time into his words. it’s supposed to be tentative and meek. you’re supposed to get swept up in the tide, especially when the person you care about burns more brightly than you do. his eyes snap open as he transitions into the second part of the verse, growing louder as the near accusation that pours from his mouth. the fear and anxiety is something sungwoon knows well, and for now he embraces it. a song is always about more than the words and the voice singing it—it’s about the emotions it elicits in the singer and the audience. and he’s peeling back the layers here to leave himself bare.

his gaze drifts to daniel momentarily as he sings the final three lines of the verse, maybe because he’s feeling brave (maybe because he’s just feeling it). and it’s no longer than the span of a heartbeat, but the heat in sungwoon’s eyes morphs into something delicate as he thinks, you know what i mean, right?

'cause you're the last of a dying breed write our names in the wet concrete i wonder if your therapist knows everything about me i'm here in search of your glory there's been a million before me that ultra-kind of love you never walk away from you're just the last of the real ones

the small pause as he sings, yeah, gives sungwoon a chance to collect himself before launching into the chorus. his voice reaches a crescendo while his fingers fly across the keys. the chorus is the highlight, the culmination of all that lovesick desperation. sungwoon doesn’t know if he’d call this a typical love song, but he doesn’t want to sing a typical song for a typical love. he needs more—that ultra fucking kind of love. his mouth twists into a smirk at the word glory, courtesy of squall. there’s been a million on the stage before him, likely, but as sungwoon looks at the judges near the end of the chorus, he wants to be more than just a number.

i'm here at the beginning of the end oh, the end of infinity with you i'm here at the beginning of the end oh, the end of infinity with you

i'm done with having dreams the thing that i believe oh, you drain all the fear from me i'm done with having dreams the thing that i believe you drain the fear from me

he softens once more for the first part of the bridge, his voice growing quieter to match the gentle accompaniment. in his mind’s eye, sungwoon is the only one in the room, singing to himself. and maybe he should be scared of being so vulnerable when more than a hundred people are looking at him to judge. the second half of the bridge all but punches through his apprehensions, face splitting into a genuine, unabashed grin as he sings without any fear. he can’t relate fully—sungwoon still has too many dreams he’s not ready to put to bed just yet, but the thing he believes in is himself, his own capabilities. most of that is thanks to himself. he thinks about how he’d run away after the last mgas, lost and broken and embarrassed, but he’s changed now. fortune favors the bold. it should favor him.

because of the way he rearranged the song, sungwoon decides to play around with the ending. the final line builds into a high note he holds for a few seconds, the accompaniment lingering as it fades. his heart is in his throat as he blinks and sinks into another bow, thanking the audience for watching his performance. without his voice and the piano, he suddenly feels a little exposed and hastens to get offstage. heading back to his seat on unsteady legs (not just because of the keyboard’s bulk; he bets he looks hilarious trying to drag something of that size along with him), sungwoon all but collapses in his seat. the post-performance buzz fades slowly, awareness creeping back in at a snail’s pace, but then—

sungwoon starts as daniel reaches for his hand, his fingers curling open to receive him of their own accord. a jolt runs down his spine at the moment of contact. eyebrow raised, he glances over in question, wondering if he’s okay, wondering if he didn’t mean to reach for someone else. but daniel’s hand wraps around his own, steady and sure, and sungwoon’s eyes soften despite his own scattered misgivings.

maybe he’s destined to end up here every single time, feeling foolish and embarrassed by his own thoughts yet accepting whatever daniel gives him anyway like he hasn’t been waiting for it. maybe he’s destined to take it all—the ugly and the confusing parts, the truths that hurt and the lies daniel won’t say. maybe if sungwoon could do it all again, he’d do it exactly like this. he’d choose to be here. he’d choose to fall in love with daniel (but, his heart supplies, that was never really up to him, was it?)

sungwoon brushes his thumb over daniel’s knuckles before squeezing tightly, fiercely, leftover courage from the performance making him bold. he doesn’t know exactly where they are or what to expect, but for now he’ll take this moment and hold it in his heart.

that ultra-kind of love you never walk away from—

yeah, he thinks. it might be.

#rkmga5 #rkmga5callback #( c: solo )#danielxrk #rkminhyun #rkkenta #rkpwj #joohyunrk #rkeunji #( because mentioned )#( wc: 4237 )#( i'm so sick and tired of myself!! )#( sorry mods ily )#( my f key is basically broken so apologies in advance if a word or two looks weird )

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