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starry-bi-sky · 2 months

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childhood friends danny and jason miscellaneous thoughts: because why not, i'm reworking ch2 because it no longer fits with the remaster of chapter 1 so i've been thinking of them, and i love talking about them. which you should totally go read the remaster because its 26k words and im very proud of it and it barely got any attention.

First off Ellie vapes. Mostly because I think its real fucking funny. The first time Danny finds out about it he gets all up in arms about it. Ellie at first thinks its because she's smoking -- which, helloooo pot meet kettle, Danny has been smoking for a lot longer than she has.

And then he throws a curveball at her and says he's upset specifically because its vaping. Like no, no. Dammit, if you're gonna fuck up your lungs you gotta do it properly, none of this cotton-candy flavored nonsense.

He plays it up for laughs and it's largely non-serious 'i can't believe you're using a vape', if only to hide the fact that he is genuinely displeased with his little sister smoking. Self-destructive behaviors and bad habits are his thing, thank you very much.

But, well, he knows he'd be a hypocrite if he told her he didn't like that she was smoking. He's aware its bad for him, but habits are hard to break and he's not particularly keen to break this one in particular.

Danny bullies her relentlessly about it whenever she vapes in front of him. Like don't be a loser, Elle, carry a carton of cigs and a lighter in your back pocket like the rest of us degenerates.

[more under the cut]

Secondly: Danny's piercings? He got the first lobe piercings as a lost bet from Sam in junior year, and they did it in her room with a needle, a small bottle of blood blossom extract, and an apple. He broke out in hives for a week after thanks to the blood blossom, but it prevented the hole from healing up :)

He got the rest done professionally at a piercing place in the Ghost Zone. He asked Johnny where to find it. Sam and Johnny (and Kitty) nearly convinced him into getting snakebites. He got an eyebrow piercing instead.

Danny's undercut is also self-done, he did it because Technus shot at him with an ectoblast and it missed hitting him, but set his hair on fire. Danny got it out pretty quickly, but it left his hair lopsided and obviously looking like it got burned by something. He went to Sam for help after the fight. He liked the way it looks so he's kept it that way since.

Vlad brought up Jason once(1) in a taunt during a fight, and this was after Jason disappeared from the ghost zone, and Danny very. very nearly killed him on the spot. He hasn't done it since.

Which leads into the other thing: Grief Triggers! As I call them. All Banshees have them in this au.

While all banshees are, in general, in a permanent state of grief, Grief Triggers are a specific emotional response that can cause them to spiral into a state of intense, sometimes debilitating sorrow, and most of the time causes them to start wailing.

Banshees know what their Grief Triggers are and in general tend to try and build up a form of resistance against it so that, if something occurs that happens to trigger said grief, they can at least either get away from other ghosts to let loose or have enough control over themselves that it'll take more work to send them spiraling.

As expected, Jason is Danny's grief trigger. He's built up a pretty good resistance to it so that hey, talking about him and his death is easier than when Danny was fourteen. But a little more prodding and it will trigger, especially depending on who brings him up and how. (See: Vlad)

Grief Triggers also manifest relatively the same; with the induction of an intense state of grief and sorrow, but how a banshee acts on it can sometimes vary. Again, it depends on who triggers it and how. Some of them can get,,, violent, depending on how it happens.

Rath, this au's 'Dan', is a case of a banshee being put into the grief state caused by grief triggers and... never really leaving it. Which they usually do on their own, or with help depending on the severity of it.

At the time it happened Danny was going through the worst week of his life a second time: his best friend's ghost disappeared, then his family and friends all died right in front of him, and then he was stuck with someone who wasn't helping him through that grief.

He was already in the grieving state when Vlad tore out his ghost half. As a result, Vlad only made it worse. With that fury thrown into the mix, Vlad ended up getting torn apart and nobody else was close enough with nor could they get close enough to Rath to help him come down from the wailing state.

So Rath ended up getting stuck in a perpetual negative feedback loop of absolute misery, and well... drove himself insane. The rest of the world became collateral as a result.

the difference between Danny and Jason lies in the fact that Jason died, while Danny is dead.

I'm having more thoughts on the CFAU/TMWS universe banshees, actually.

Banshees are either born in the ghost zone from ectoplasm and are ecto-entities and work as banshees as how we know of them, or they're human spirits that died mourning someone and that grief was so intense that it turned them into a banshee. They're a little more rare.

These banshees typically mourn only one person, or sometimes they follow their Realm-born counterparts and choose a family to mourn for. Typically their own.

Ember is not a banshee; human spirit banshees are always mourning another person. However, her abilities emulate certain qualities of banshees: like the beautiful singing. But in comparison to an actual banshee, Ember's voice pales.

Does this mean Danny has the better singing voice? Yeah. Ember is incensed by this.

If canon Danny and CFAU/TMWS Danny met, I think canon Danny would be kinda unsettled or off put by CFAU.

CFAU Danny still has some pretty core Danny traits, at least I like to think so -- his general drive to help people just out of compassion for them (even if it manifests differently at first due to trauma), his wit and humor, his fear of failing to protect his loved ones, all of those resonate with canon Danny.

However, canon Danny, as far as I can remember and as far as his wiki goes, rarely gets extremely angry or emotional. He gets irritated and he gets annoyed but him getting mad I don't think happens super often. CFAU Danny is the angrier one between Jason and Danny. It's one of the things I consider a division point between him and canon Danny as it's a result of him growing up in Crime Alley. Canon Danny is canonically shy and meek prior to becoming Phantom, CFAU Danny couldn't be -- he'd be dead already.

CFAU Danny's anger would off put canon Danny, in my opinion. His anger, his smoking, and for lack of a better term, his bloodlust would unsettle him.

Like, for example, say CFAU Danny gets transported to a canon (or canon-adjacent) Danny's universe. He's staying with canon for a little bit as they brainstorm how to get him back home, and CFAU Danny goes to school with canon if only so that he's not stuck in the house all day.

Whether they try and pass CFAU Danny off as canon's cousin or if the town already knows that he's another version of Danny, it doesn't matter. Because insert Dash.

Dash who, in CFAU Danny's world, has since learned not to fuck around with Danny or the other kids because Danny has long since asserted that he will beat his ass if he does. 'Fucking around' always predates the 'finding out', and Danny is happy to act as consequence.

(As my father told me (paraphrased) when I was a small child and full of uncontrollable anger: "there's gonna be a day where you're gonna hit someone, and they're gonna hit you back")

And canon Dash, who is used to canon Danny who kinda just takes it because it means that he won't target other people, would see CFAU Danny. He'd notice the resemblance between him and canon, immediately try and go "oh new target!", and try and bully him the same way he does to canon. And Danny "I am the consequences of your actions" CFAU Fenton, instantly throws hands.

Just, CFAU Danny is kind but he's also Gotham-raised and full of bite; he's meaner than canon is. He's more ruthless too, especially in his ghost fights. The ease of which he slips into violence would, imo, discomfort canon. CFAU and Canon would eventually get along though, they're not so different that they'd be in constant clash of each other.

(Canon Danny and Danyal Al Ghul however,,, thats another post LMAO)

#cw smoking #cw vaping #dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dead on main au #childhood friends au #cfau #dpdc #ugh i could have made this two parts probably #i've had a lot of thoughts on banshees in this au and how i could adjust them #what i didn't get into: the ghostly behavioral affects that danny has gone through since dying. the ghostly mood swings and #heightened emotions that he's had to work through for the last five years.#one of my favorite lines in the remaster is danny mentioning offhandedly that he's gotten better at his mood swings ever since being a ghos #but also implying that vlad has been on the receiving end of these mood swings before and it didnt end well for him #like yessss gurl go through permanent irrevocable changes of your physiology and psyche that has ultimately altered you from the person you #used to be. you are now no longer fully human yess gurl pick up those habits and behavioral changes that is common in the species you've #been turned into even if its only halfway.#iirc i don't think i included obsessions in this au and checking the remaster doc and the word doesn't show up once in all 26k words of it #so hey looks like we get this instead #danny's singing voice is permanently ingrained in my head as sounding like hozier #its very very funny to imagine my au dannys meeting canon danny or canon adjacent danny #cfau seeing dan: who tf is that?? | canon: um.. dan? our evil alternate future self? | cfau: THATS your evil future self??#canon: yeah?? does yours not. look like that? | cfau: NO?#look if dan saw rath he would do a doubletake is all im saying and then would go “what the fuck what the fuck what the fUCK”#turning rath into a horror movie abomination is the fun part of this au and he's never even gonna show up #jason died but danny is dead. it lies in the past and the present. the was and the is. one of us got up and the other didn't

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svtskneecaps · 1 month

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i'm still stuck on the purgatories so here's a list of purgatory 2 moments simply off the top of my head that deserve to be remembered:

aimsey ducking all of axolotl team alone in a cave with literally half a heart

goose gang fucking descending on the raccoon base and absolutely wrecking shop

ethan crankgameplays clutching up for team panda during the capture the flag game by being the only one hanging out in the center and periodically checking the chests, earning them a shitton of flags and clutching multiple rounds

crow team's egg taking 0 damage

pac doxxing goose gang's egg in the last second

shelby shubble as the last member of her team online writing a letter to aimsey and sharing the world's most devastating ten minutes before her team was eliminated with one of the eye creatures (coco? i forgot lol)

badboyhalo absolutely fucking DEMOLISHING the battleship event on like 2 hours of sleep and a dream

wuant(?) stealing a tv from the battleship event and then playing portuguese ice age on it for the crows lmfao

tubbo djing for his team while waiting for the time for a goose gambit

theguill CRASHING THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING of the raccoon team's hidey hole like the fucking kool aid man in a last effort to save his team and 4v1 or 5v1 ing team raccoon; he lost but that was such an epic fucking moment

theguill and etoiles pvping and each hyping the other's skills the entire time

seapeekay escaping cellbit and baghera and then stealing their boats and rocketing past to tease them about it; that shit was iconic

kenny going mad with power collecting sand on literally day 1

the english speaking squirrels taking actual physical notes on portuguese phrases (i think)

lgbtiba

i may add more this is an off the top of my head list but like got DAMN i like these events :D i like them a lot

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory 2 #qpurgatory 2 #there hope those filter for u fuckers #(/affectionate)#shut up vic #block game brainrot #if you can't tell my povs went something like this:#crab -> raccoon -> panda -> capybara -> goose -> crow #so i didn't watch all of them lmfao #i only spent a few hours with raccoon and crab; panda i caught all of #capybara and goose i mostly watched on their elimination day #crow i hopped into on the final day as well tho i'd been keeping some tabs on them previously #just not concentrated watching #i like purgatories :D #to be clear though i hope they don't run purg 3 until like november 2024 at the absolute EARLIEST #the staff is NOT at the point they can handle it yet lol not for a while #the fact that one of the ex devs said they were already talking about purg 3 was crazy #like i'm patient i'm not nuts let's cook this one #this is neglecting to mention the post-server close calls which are my favorite part of the event no contest #oh yeah and i also have issues w how some of the special events work #those need some tweaking it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination #but i enjoy it :) it has good moments

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goddess-reborn · 2 months

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Okay yall I’m CONVINCED this has to be because it was my birthday!!!!!!

Like the game let’s you celebrate your birthday in game for 1 week and literally since the day it started my pulls have been fucking wild????

Like I got Rafayel in my first 10 pull and then when I did a 10 pull with the pity guarantee, I got not just Zayne who was my precise wish, but Xavier too (so both the limited cards I didn’t have) AND an extra Zayne so I could rank him up a level?????

This cannot be a coincidence, especially with getting a 5 star on two separate non-pity 10 pulls, there’s just no way skdjksks

If anyone else has a birthday coming up soon and they have the means to test this theory out please do and tell me the results because this has been absolutely insane!!!!

#not to mention even in 10 pulls that I didn’t get a 5 star in I still often got multiple 4 stars even tho only one is guaranteed????#I also wonder if September and October girlies would have a higher chance of pulling zayne and Xavier respectively????#like I’m SO curious if devs made this a secret/surprise part of the birthday celebration #love and deepspace #love and deepspace theory #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace rafayel #lads #lds #lnds #l&ds

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collieii · 1 year

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one line in trimax that's always stuck with me is from chapter 65, right after wolfwood's death. when vash is sticking the punisher by his grave and he says "it was part of his life". that phrasing is so interesting to me. the neutrality of it is one thing that gets me, i think. it was part of his life. for better or worse, whatever it was, the punisher was wolfwood's.

It's pretty easy to think that the punisher might represent violence, the eye of michael, the role of assassin that was forced onto wolfwood, the loss of childhood. but it's not really presented that way, not overtly anyways. we never see wolfwood shun the punisher, he's not conflicted by his use of it. he never considers abandoning it for some other weapon. it's his weapon. he doesn't discard it when he eventually decides to take a more vash-like approach and actually let people live. he pretty easily accepts it as his own, a tool he can use. (to be fair, at least part of that is probably because the punisher is a very good gun.)

the punisher can still represent the harsher aspects of wolfwood's character, the violence he's committed, that he's capable of. that's an important part of his life! and the idea of it as representative of his violent adolescence, childhood that was stripped away, goes along with this - it's literally a cross to bear. but besides showing his past as a burden, i think of the punisher as being a cross of responsibility. when you have a gun you have power, agency - you have a responsibility to make a choice. that's what wolfwood tells vash in chapter 4.

the ability to take a life, the burden of it, is literally his cross to bear. that ability - and that responsibility - was given to him by the eom, literally in terms of the gun, and in terms of his skills. but the eye doesn't think twice about killing people. for them it's not really a choice, a responsibility, it's just a given. but wolfwood can't accept that. he's constantly considering the choices he makes.

so the punisher isn't only a symbol of the eye of michael, of the path that he was forced onto. it's also a way of expressing autonomy. the eye gave wolfwood the gun, but he decides how to use it and what it means. for much of the story wolfwood struggles to decide what to do, he's a very conflicted character. but eventually he resolves to use it against chapel, against knives, to help vash, and protect the orphanage. the gun gives him agency.

so the punisher was part of his life. it was the tool that he used to commit acts of violence, acts that he was forced into, but also the tool he used to break free.

it's heavy for vash, too. he's not exempt from that idea, the idea of responsibility. as wolfwood said much earlier in the story, vash has always been able to sidestep the question of "what do i choose?", because he's only ever given himself one option - everybody lives. and he's always succeeded. but as wolfwood says, "the day will come when you'll have to choose". one day, it's not going to work.

and of course the story progresses, the stakes ramp up, and vash learns more, goes through more, and is pushed to his limits. i think by this point, by wolfwood's death, and maybe because of it, vash has realized that he might have to make that difficult choice in the near future. that's one reason why he wants to "do him proud". he has a lot of reasons to say this of course - to not let wolfwood's sacrifice go to waste, for example. but if we're thinking of the cross as responsibility, then vash is saying he doesn't want to forget the lessons he learned because of wolfwood. wolfwood has always grappled with responsibility, with what the right thing to do is. and the right thing is often not easy. vash hopes that when the times comes for him to make a choice, he'll make a good one, one that does right by wolfwood's memory.

#trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #trigun meta #trigun analysis #i have another post in my drafts abt wolfwood and autonomy so theres some stuff im not getting into but stay tuned #i hope this makes sense...the whole it was part of his life thing...it gets me for some reason #this is just me trying to articulate why #hopefully what im saying isnt too obvious and is actually insightful #this whole post was inspired by one of my art history classes #we were talking abt some of betye saars works and my prof mentioned the idea of weapons as symbolic of power and agency #so ofc i had to apply that to trigun #at that point i was only thinking of the punisher as 'eom = bad' but that just didnt feel right #so then guns...agency...it all came together #seems obvious in hindsight but i just didnt realize #too hung up on guns as violence and violence is bad #but obviously it's more than that #.lieii #.lieii txt #nicholas d. wolfwood #i just realized how long this post is uh sorry guys #i may have repeated myself too much with this one hopefully it's still legible #take a shot everytime i use the word agency or choice in this post #trimax spoilers

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bioethicists · 10 months

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irt poverty/homelessness + alcohol use (esp with @butchfeygela‘s tags on my post)- people really underestimate the function that substance use/alcohol use can have for someone who is unhoused. being unhoused is boring, cold, painful, + lonely. substances can allow the 8 hours panhandling to get the $45 you need for a motel to fly by. alcohol reduces your perception of the cold + can knock you out whben you can’t sleep. substances can help you cope with the physical deterioration from malnutrition, constant stress, + sleeping outside. substances can provide social connection with others who you would otherwise not enjoy or help you cope with being alone.

not only that but- many unhoused people are stuck in a seemingly inescapable position. the pathway to financial stability or even housing is difficult or even impossible. in the wake of that hopelessness, the downsides of substance use start to seem insignificant. arrest? you’re getting arrested anyway for sleeping outside, peeing outside, standing in the wrong place, etc. physical danger? you’re already beat the fuck up, anyway, right? loss of relationships? you’ve lost most people already. inability to keep a job? nobody will hire you + you can’t stay employed, anyway, because you have no car + no shower.

perhaps for you or me, the cons of heroin use or binge drinking nightly greatly outweigh the pros. that isn’t the case for everyone. if we are really serious about ending overdose/addiction, we need to start looking at giving people lives worth recovering into instead of shaming them for their own hopelessness.

#i had a long talk with my dad once about how #my brother sank into so much financial despair #that he was never going to be able to find #a livable job or housing (eviction record #plus bad credit plus #arrest record ofc #he was going to be forced into poverty for the rest of his life #the only job prospects he had were menial shit jobs #he once worked at one of those chicken butchering places #it was the only place that paid him a living wage but he got fired for relapsing #his only options were to go to school part time + try to pass with his dyslexia which made him essentially unable to read #then work a horrible shitty job the rest of the time #while paying atlanta's outrageous rent prices #plus who is he gonna room with?? all his friends are opioid users!#while he paid back all the debt he accrued from going to rehab #then MAYBE after like 6 years of school he could get a decent job #but his credit would be in flames for years his eviction record there for years #his arrest record + lack of driver's license limiting his employment..#sorry but i would have probably given up at that point too #not to mention his interpersonal + familial relationships up in flames + the shame #of the things he did while using hanging over his head #the only family member who didn't think he was an irredeemable fuckup (me) living a thousand miles away + about as broke as him #substance use #harm reduction

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brainworms-all-night-long · 2 months

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Ever since I had the realization that I can just make an inmedias res of the idea that randomly attacks me without bothering myself with the boring context stuff around I've gotten quite the boost to write!!

This idea specifically popped into my head and was almost fully fleshed out while I was vacuuming the house last Sunday, enjoy

[2,350 words]

---

"I don't need you to defend me y'know."

With shaking hands, Nine had anger bubbling inside of him every time his gloves got caught on the flimsy fabric of the bandage.

"By that you're implying I should've just let them rip into you like that?"

"It's none of your business." The fox grumbled and exercised every inch of self-control he had to not just rip the bandage away and Sonic's whole arm with it.

It was stupid, it was so so stupid, and Nine felt beyond guilty, but more than that he was angry.

Angry at Sonic for being an idiot, but what's new really.

"Hmm, pretty sure it was, I do not let bullying happen when I see it."

"That wasn't bullying-"

"We won't argue the definition of that word right now."

The hedgehog gave him a cheeky grin and rested his chin on the palm of his hand. The elbow of the hand was in turn propped up on his leg that bounced seventy-five kilometers an hour, which caused his whole body to shake, which, made Nine irritated even more because he couldn't get the bandage wrapped just right.

But he was done telling the other to stop moving, it was obvious he couldn't sit still for more than ten seconds. Not to mention that just getting him to sit down and get his infection prone, bleeding wound treated was incredibly difficult to begin with.

Besides that, how did Sonic have it in him to smile at him after having his fur stained with his own blood.

...After the taste of its iron was still fresh in Nine's mouth.

"Ok then let me rephrase; I don't want you to defend me." Nine could do that himself no problem. He could make anyone trying to hurt him run the other way if he really wanted to. He would've done just that had Sonic not been an idiot and gotten in the way.

"Then let me rephrase as well; I won't let anyone bully you when I can do something about it."

"I didn't ask for your help." Nine hissed and pulled the bandage just a bit too tight out of spite. Sonic didn't seem to notice.

"You never do."

"Because I don't need it."

"Uh-huh." Sonic hummed, unimpressed, his head slumping deeper in his palm.

The hedgehog fell silent after that. Nine dared just the quickest peek at his face and saw a solemn expression. Whatever, his reaction didn't matter, the wound was taken care of after he carefully used a medical pin to hold together the loose end of the bandage, he was done here.

He was about to put all the used supplies back in the medical kit, call it a day and disappear from everyone's radar until things have died down.

Sonic had different plans it seemed, as he just used his injured hand to grab onto Nine's and stopped him in his tracks.

"We're friends. Right Nine?"

Nine didn't answer, didn't lift his gaze from the bag of medical pins he was holding, didn't let go of the lingering backdrop of guilt lacing his throat.

"Friends rely on each other. Trust each other and help one another."

And he didn't like the tone of voice Sonic was using. It was too soft, almost sickly sweet, and too forgiving. But even with its many charms, it would not work on Nine, he knew what the hedgehog was getting at.

"I can rely on myself pretty well." He replied sternly and once again spared just a quick look at the other, making sure there was an appropriate amount of apathy in it. Then his eyes fell onto the bandaged arm, still holding his own, and lingered.

"And friends don't hurt each other to the point they draw blood, do they."

Nine knew very little about this whole friendship thing still, but this one was pretty obvious, he didn't need to ask.

"No, but they can make the necessary sacrifices for each other when it counts."

At that, all the bubbling frustration reached a boiling point, and Nine might've given into it just a bit too much.

He ripped his hand away, the pang of regret and guilt went buried under the much preferred anger as he gripped the bag of medical pins tighter, looking for something over the bed they were sitting on, he just needed something to exemplify his point.

There, lying about, he grabbed the surgical scissors and tossed them into the open metal box, causing a loud clatter and almost flipping the whole thing over.

"A necessary sacrifice as in having me almost kill you!?"

The action did its job to finally get the hedgehog in a more alarmed state, as he should be.

"Woa woa, it's gonna take way more than just one bite and stab to put me six feet under buddy! I thought that was pretty well established by now!" Sonic waved both his hands in front of him in a panicked surrender.

Nine then wordlessly glared at him. He knew Sonic was tough, he knew. But he also caught on the habit of the hedgehog downplaying his injuries and grievances towards others, and Nine couldn't stand that.

"Something tells me that the bite hurts you more than it hurts me."

"It, It doesn't hurt me." Nine took a second to harden his features further, but couldn't look Sonic in the face at all "Just pisses me off."

Another tense bead of silence during which Sonic only looked like someone spilled a hot coffee mug over him.

Nine sighed in resignation. He should shut up, talking just made everything worse today it seemed.

He finally dragged the medical box to himself, throwing all of the supplies into it in a somewhat organized way so it could be closed properly with a doubled click.

He continued staring at the two old-fashioned clips holding the lid and the bottom of the box together, all while the anger inside of him melted and froze over in a pool of guilt that only kept increasing in its volume as seconds ticked by.

"You want me to be angry at you, don't you."

Bingo.

Despite just deciding hes done talking, the "You should be" was said way louder than Nine intended.

"There's nothing for me to be angry about though."

He gripped the corners of the aid kit as he finally met the hedgehog face to face.

"There is- the, I BIT YOU!" He stammered over his words, dumbfounded, as if Sonic just couldn't get the most obvious thing in the world. "How is that something to NOT be mad about?!"

Sonic simply averted his gaze, gently rubbing his injury. "I mean, I can't stay angry at anyone for long, even if I wanted to."

Nine wilted, shoulders dropping in defeat and head tilting in genuine confusion. "How can you just... how can you just let things go like that?"

"Living in the moment and not letting past grievences slow me down." Sonic flashed him a toothy grin with fingerguns to acompany it. "Besides, It was what I bargained for wasn't it?"

"You knew I was gonna bite and you just went with it?!"

"Don't worry about it, I'm used to having fox teeth in my arms." Seems that the most reliable strategy Sonic had was to just keep chuckling and treat everything as if it wasn't a big deal to make an attempt at deescalating Nine's reaction.

An incredibly poor attempt, because each word that left his mouth only confused and irritated the fox further.

Exept this time what stumped Nine for good was the implication of his last answer, it took a second to click.

"Oh." And then it fully sank in. "Seriously?"

"Yep, a little biter he was. And a scratcher too." Sonic went to his muzzle, parting his peachy fur to reveal a barely visible set of scars in the warm lamplight.

Nine sat there in silence, still holding the first aid kit in his lap as if Sonic were to snatch it from him any second. He just needed something to keep him grounded and stop his hands from shaking, thats all.

Then his eyes fell on the bandage around the hedgehog's arm once again, dragging his whole expression down along.

"I'm sorry." Nine practically whispered. He should've apologized a long time ago, he really should've, but amidst his adrenaline-fueled panic and then the frustration, it didn't even cross his mind.

"Didn't quite catch that."

Now Nine didn't know if the other was deliberately playing dumb, because it didn't sound like he was daring or teasing him to humiliate himself out loud, there was way too much sincerity in that question. Whatever, it didn't matter. The least he could do was to bite the bullet he deserved anyway.

"I said, I'm sorry. For this whole thing." It still felt weird saying those words out loud. Embarrassing even. It was hard getting them out.

"For...that." he added with a shaky voice, pointing at Sonic's arm.

Yet Sonic only smiled. He always just smiled.

"Haha, seriously, don't sweat it! Aside from being used to it, It doesn't even hurt anymore, I heal pretty fast." The sincerity with which the hedgehog basically glowed made the corners of Nine's eyes sting.

He did not deserve to be treated so kindly.

"As I said, we're friends." Sonic scooted as close to him as possible while one of his legs still dangled over the edge of the bed.

He kept trying to change the subject, it was obvious, but Nine just couldn't let it go so easily.

"What does it change about the fact that you were bleeding because of me."

"C'mon bud I'm sure you know you've done worse than that."

...That hurt like a rusted nail through his throat.

But, well, it was true.

Nine felt his ears pin to his skull but made no effort to fight the instinct of shrinking on himself.

"Point is! A lot of things changed actually! You no longer have to rely just on yourself for everything."

Sonic was so, so desperate to brush this whole thing under a rug it was actually hilarious. But hey, it was good to know what he really thought of it. Of him. It's what he asked for after all...

While he was too busy blinking rapidly to try and keep his tears at bay, Sonic was attempting to pry his hands from the box. And despite Nine gripping it so hard it left barely noticeable dents in its soft metal, he succeeded.

Nine wasn't sure what the hedgehog wanted to do next and he expected anything but for him to hold his shaking hands in his. Well, more accurately, let Nine hold onto his fingers while Sonic ran his thumbs across his knuckles in a soothing back and forth motion.

"You know that if you actually succeeded at attacking Knux it would just snowball into more problems, right?"

Tch, even if violence wasn't always the answer, it sure as hell was when someone called him a freak.

"That, plus I just couldn't let him hurt you again."

The gentleness in Sonic's voice and hands burned through Nine's chest. It completely blurred his vision and made it hard to breathe properly.

"I just. I don't want to be a burden."

And even if he only saw undefined blobs of blue and beige through his peripheral vision before he just opted to shut his eyes for good, he definitely heard the way Sonic's whole demeanor completely sunk.

"You two are so painfully alike, y'know..." He let out a sad chuckle while giving Nine's hands a soft squeeze.

And then he went to prepare and say something to counter, but Nine shot first;

"You've done more than enough for me I- the least I c-can do is not bother you with my problems."

And he hated the way his voice threatened to completely break with sobs. He didn't deserve to be the one crying, there was nothing for him to even cry about.

"Pretty sure we live in the same house now- or universe, so you can't find a loophole you smart-ass." Sonic chuckled and blew a quick shot of air at the fox to get him to open his eyes again. "So, your problems are also my problems."

Aside from Nine's eyes now being further irritated and teary, he didn't even realize that he was subconsciously pulling away until Sonic dragged him back. And then the other leaned in as close as his vision allowed him to easily focus on the fox before him.

"Whether you like it or not."

The smile he gave afterwards had a layer of threatening positivity to it, the choice of being all alone was completely out of the window after this conversation it seemed.

Nine wasn't sure whether he was comforted by that or not.

"I'm not, I'm not used to that. Y'know, people helping me, or, or caring about me.." He cringed at himself for saying that out loud. A part of him really wanted to run away and hide, to never be found, while the other craved nothing more than to just sit here, and let Sonic hold onto him without a care in the world.

"Heh, I can tell. How good that we got plethora of time to change that." And the hedgehog shot him the softer version of his iconic grin as he clasped Nine's hands between his.

"You're really gonna waste your time on me with that?" If anything, Nine would concider it hopeless, just being around people irritated him to no end. How on Chaos' green planet was he supoused to get used to them poking their noses in his buiseness and trust them to not use his weaknesses against him.

"Hm, you betcha! That's what friends are for."

It just began sinking into place for Nine when suddenly Sonic's forehead gently hit his.

"And no time spent with you is a waste bud."

All of the tears being held at bay no longer had any restraint placed on them.

#sonic prime #tags are slight spoilers in case anyone wants to figure out what the hell migt've happened before this scene took place for themselves!!!#Ok so in case none of you live in my head and I didn't manage to make it come clear in my writing #what happened was that Nine got into a little bit of an argument with the resistance over petty past stuff #Knux said something he shouldn't #but to everyone's luck Sonic was part of the conversation too so he stopped a pretty pissed off Nine from mauling an echidna #and instead took one for the team by getting bitten pretty badly in his arm #Nine is being wracked by the guilt of his actions 😔💔#big fan of the affectionate headbutt btw #glad I've been reintroduced to it in my olden years #this the thing I was talking about having finished writing before Wednesday #may there be wholesome but Tails only bring mentioned in the subtext lmao #miles nine prower #nine the fox #sonic the hedgehog #wholesome sonic and nine? wednesday #wsatw #me when I finish writing

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coquelicoq · 6 months

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what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.

#the other thing i love about it is that in a very real sense it's his actor day job that is his alter ego #being an exorcist is his normie job. he's just a famous celebrity on the side #which isn't that uncommon in secret identity setups but it's still very funny #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi #natsuyuu meta #my posts #f #i think probably the actual answer is that acting was a very natural career choice because he already masks so extensively #both to hide that he can see things other people can't (and that youkai exist and that he exorcises them)#and to hide what he's really feeling so that no one can use it against him #so if it's already something he has to do & he's good at it...why not have someone tell him exactly how to do it & get paid for it?#and the other part of the answer is that most ppl don't go into acting assuming they'll get famous. the fame was a side effect #so each decision as it was being made probably made perfect sense. but put them all together #and you have this hilarious assortment of elements that seem to directly contradict each other #okay also i would be remiss if i didn't mention the other possible answer which is that the attention came first and was unavoidable #and the acting developed from the need to protect himself from the attention that he was going to be attracting no matter what he did #because he's so beautiful. and (in the exorcist world specifically) because he's the last of the natori #the more i talk about it the more i'm like no becoming a famous actor was the only path that made any sense for him lol #1) he's gonna be watched no matter what bc he's him -> gotta figure out how to hide his secrets -> learn to act as self-defense #or 2) he's got secrets -> he's gotten a lot of practice hiding them -> hey you could make a career out of this!#all roads lead to actor natori shuuichi. and since he's beautiful...all roads lead to FAMOUS actor natori shuuichi #i love it when i ramble so much in the tags that i end up contradicting my own post lol #he's neither thinking ten steps ahead nor is he irrational. he's simply making sensible individual decisions #that follow logically from what is available to him and what his priorities are

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posallys · 3 months

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i will NEVER not be pissed that most colleges cost about 40k A YEAR on average and that if YOUR PARENTS make over 120k AS A GROSS INCOME you're practically immediately disqualified for need-based aid???? like do you really believe anybody can afford to throw an entire third of their annual income to their kid's schooling, when they probably have several thousands of dollars in loan debt themselves??? in THIS economy??? eggs are fucking $7 a dozen where i am right now but GOD FUCKING FORBID i get any financial aid because "well your upper class" NEWS FLASH 120K IS THE NEW MIDDLE CLASS AND JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS MAKE OKAY MONEY NOW DOESN'T MEAN FUCK ALL WHEN I CAN REMEMBER ALL THE NIGHTS THEY DIDN'T EAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAD ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED ME AND MY SISTERS I need to hold everyone involved at gunpoint because i really don't think a single fucking one of them understands "oh but you have money :/" there's literally a reason i work FULL FUCKING TIME while double majoring and it's because my parents can't even send me money for fucking groceries, let alone fork out FORTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS GOD DAMN YEAR for a degree that'll be FUCKING WORTHLESS in three years anyway i worked my ASS off and graduated with a 4.7 to get scholarships because i knew that's the only way i'd realistically be able to afford school. and then the fucking fafsa goes "oh but you have money in your savings! you can pay for your own school" bitch i have 4k and it's for my fucking rent!!!! my parents have like $600 in savings do YOU SEE THE ISSUE that's what being forced into credit card debt for 20 years fucking does it puts you in an unescapable hole so even when you're making good money YOU DON'T GET SHIT!!!!!! NOT TO MENTION THE ABYSMAL CREDIT SCORES MY PARENTS HAVE SO GOOD FUCKING LUCK TRYING TO GET LOANS FOR ME!!! COSIGNER? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HER IM GOING TO KILL PEOPLE!!!!!!

#sponsored by me working on transfer applications and the fafsa telling me to go fuck myself ✨✨#i need to strangle ever single fucking person in charge of uni pricing #give me ONE fucking reason your school costs 40k a year when you have thousands of undergrads #'non-profit' my FUCKING ASS lets do the math.#i currently go to a small school so 4500 undergrads (rounded down)#tuition ALONE is 43k. not to mention housing and food #but i'll be generous #so 4500 x 43000 = 193.500.000....which is ONE HUNDRED AND NINTY THREE AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS??????#there's 315 full time faculty and 240 part time #i've talked to professors and the MOST tenured ones here make about 130k a year #so JUST FOR A MOMENT LETS ASSUME EACH FACULTY MAKES 130K.... (240+315)(130000) = 72.150.000 #OKAY SO 193M - 73M = 120 MILLION LEFT OVER AND I KNOW GOD DAMN WELL THAT NOT ALL OF THAT GETS PUT BACK INTO THE SCHOOL #THE DECREPIT FALLING APART DORMS AND CLASSROOMS??? THERE ARE FUCKING RATS IN THE ONE BUILDING LIKE HUH?????#NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ONLY PROVIDE HOUSING FOR 2 YEARS AND ARE LOCATED IN THE SECOND MOST EXPENSIVE CITY FOR RENTERS IN THE US...........#'we're non-profit :)' MOTHERFUCKERS WHERE IS THAT 120 MILLION DOLLARS FUCKING GOING THEN. EAT MY DICK

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shiraishi-kanade · 18 days

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Good morning An Shiraishi fandom!

#jay rambles.txt #project sekai #prsk #an shiraishi #the last part is kind of a reach - I've only found one mention of it and I'm not good at flower language #but even outside of it I love what they went with delphinium for An - it's such a lovely flower and it suits her so well #the link ones on her 2023 card is bougainvillea but I have no clue as to what yellow ones are!#I managed to get a nap in today so yay for that

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lastoneout · 22 days

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I'm genuinely convinced the thought process goes:

> people who abuse children are horrible, irredeemable monsters who deserve to have their human rights stripped away and burn in hell for all eternity, no good person would ever hurt a child

> *tons of scientific evidence comes out showing that hitting your kids is basically abuse and does immense harm with absolutely no good to balance it out and in the worst cases it leaves lasting psychological damage those kids carry for life*

> but wait...my parents spanked me as punishment, but they aren't horrible evil people who deserve to die! I love my parents and they loved me, they're good people and good people would never hurt a child, and I surely don't have issues as a result of being hit, so that must mean hitting your kids isn't abusive

> the cycle continues, nothing changes, kids keep getting hit

and like I get it, I get it, but I just want to grab these people and be like "welcome to the complex reality most actual abuse survivors have to contend with every single day of our lives, it sucks, but since I've been through it I can give you the answer I had to work out over years of therapy for free; you are still allowed to love--and even FORGIVE--people who hurt you"

#ask to tag #abuse mention #child abuse mention #this is part of the reason I hate the current trend of people saying the only “progressive” abuse narrative #is one where the abuser is fucking murdered #because when you demonize a group of people so profoundly you have no idea what to do when someone you love dearly #might kind overlap with the category of humans you want to unperson #and you end up just excusing their behavior so you can keep acting like morality is black and white #and then turn around and attack any abuse survivor who has the audacity to talk about #how it isn't black and white for them and they don't feel empowered by narratives where the abusers die badly #or god forbid they ENJOY narratives where the abuser changes and apologizes #just stop and think for a second why some of us might find that cathartic

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beanghostprincess · 2 months

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I totally agree with your opinion on Z0$an.

For me, I really enjoy their canon dynamic and can see why people ship them but then when I see most fan content of them it bothers me because most of the time they’re being mischaracterized and I only like their very specific canon dynamic (I can’t really describe it). Additionally it bothers me when certain moments for other ships that involve one of the two get interpreted as platonic when these same moments would be seen as romantic if they were between Zoro and Sanji. For example basically every Sanuso moment but especially in Water 7 and Enies Lobby or the most egregious example, the „Nothing happened“ moment.

Yeah,,, It bothers me that most people are so intense and adamant about Sanuso/Zolu's scenes being platonic when those same scenes would've been perceived as romantic with Zo$an. And I am honestly somebody who keeps reaching a lot and looking for content in every little scene, but that's because idk, Sanuso (for example) doesn't have as much content as Zo$an. These shippers don't need to make everything about their ship for content and they don't even need any proof of it being canon, and yet they keep making other ship's scenes about them (the "nothing happened" scene could be seen as Zo$an too but c'mon we all know that's a Zolu thing. And the new art of Reiju and Tashigi??? I'm sorry but can we please let the sapphics have this one color spread instead of making it about the most popular ship of the fandom?).

That being said, I don't care about people doing this because they like the ship and like to look for content in every little thing (I do it too!!). What bothers me aren't Zo$an shippers (I even ship this myself lmao I know it looks like I hate it but I don't) but Zo$an shippers who genuinely believe this is actual proof for the ship being canon or saying other ships are "wrong" or "don't make sense". De nile is a river in Egypt and these people need to understand that probably 80% of their content is mischaraterized because they keep ignoring the beautiful, precious potential they have in their already canon dynamic. And also, your ship doesn't need to be canon to be enjoyed like... Some people need to understand that.

Long story short, I like Zo$an when it's in character and people don't force it down my throat. It's really sad because I think that Zo$an, despite being so popular, has a lot of wasted potential.

Also, don't mention Sanuso being underrated in comparison to Zo$an because I will end up writing a whole paragraph and nobody wants drama-- I prefer to blame Usopp haters rather than other ships for its unpopularity. But uh, yeah, a lot of scenes between Usopp and Sanji are extremely romantic and the fact that it's underrated (when other ships have more attention having less romantic scenes) bothers me quite a lot. But then again, I think one of the main reasons is because Usopp is criminally underrated.

#please this is making me look so much like a zo$an hater i promise i like them JENFJNSJS #i just can't stand that specific part of the fandom #but then again all fandoms have those people i just ignore them and only started this for the unpopular opinions ask #also sanuso my beloved it has nothing to do with this but i use every little opportunity to mention my underrated cuties #ngl can we talk abt how usopp and sanji argue 24/7 too and nobody thought abt that being extremely gay #unlike with another certain ship #i should shut up i don't want ship drama but y'know #one piece

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imagionary · 7 months

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Happy 20 years of not speaking to each other

#Evils said that Bondholder looks like Graham's dad as a joke and I took it too seriously as per always xD #IT'S SUCH A GOOD JOKE I HAD TO LMAO #Graham's mentioned lots of times in story that he does not have a good relationship with his parents #and that neither his mother or father were very present or caring about him while growing up #so what better to make his dad than a scheming business cretin in space #The astrocogs (other ttevh cogs will be included under that lable for our AU) work in a part of COGS.INC that's connected to the company #by an elevator that goes all the way up to the moon!!#most people think the elevator only goes up to Dave's mysterious office since he seems to be the only one with the key to it #but it turns out there's more to what's past that elevator than what meets the eye #the clouds and smog are so thick outside that even the people worlijg outside didn't know about the elevator and tower to the moon #toontown corporate clash #ttcc #toontown: corporate clash #imagionary rambles #ttcc au #pacesetter #graham ness payser #ttcc oc #ttevh #toontown event horizon #toontown: event horizon #space cadet #ttevh oc #bondholder #I think our Bondholder's name would be something like Richard Ness Payser #cause he paces people's richness; get it? through his binding bond contracts and stuff #both he and Dave are such strange Bossbots to me I love them both

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redbean-nom · 6 days

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star wars by silm logic

for the silm-sw dual citizens:

I was wondering what would happen if star wars (particularly tbb bc that's the currently-releasing bit of star wars) adhered to silm logic:

Hunter is the local leader of a hidden city (Pabu)

Omega is the heir

Rex is the overall leader of a warring people (clone rebellion)

Hemlock is the local leader of a branch of the Forces of Evil

Palpatine is the overall Enemy

so therefore

Rex and Echo gather an army of escaped clones. They rescue Cody or Wolffe from the Empire. Song and fire are greatly involved.

Themes of rising hope are invoked as they make a stand against the Empire. The clone rebellion grows further.

They are initially victorious and manage to rescue the clone prisoners from Tantiss with few casualties. Hemlock is ousted and flees to the heart of the Empire (but his operation will return in time)

Echo goes to check on the Batch on Pabu and ask them to ally with him and Rex in the upcoming battle.

They march on Coruscant. Things suddenly go disastrously wrong. Cody is killed in battle. Rex faces Palpatine in single combat.

Rex dies tragically.

Eagles.

Echo tells Hunter about the battle. They are delayed on their way and attempt to ride to the rescue. The Batch arrives just after the deaths. Echo is sad.

Pabu is betrayed while the Batch is on Coruscant.

Pabu is invaded by the Empire. Hemlock subjugates the people into his weird clone experimentation program.

Dragons.

The Batch returns to destroyed/invaded Pabu and is unable to intervene.

While attempting to protect their city most of the Batch dies.

Echo is very sad.

Hunter is captured and killed in front of Omega.

Omega escapes and swears an Oath mourns the Batch.

Echo is broken by grief for the ghosts of his past and vanishes.

Omega later becomes a Rebellion leader, carrying the memories of the failed clone rebellion and the haven of Pabu with her.

Echo fades/dies on some random planet as the forgotten remnant of the GAR/Clone rebellion.

#star wars #tbb #the bad batch #tbb s3 #redbean talks #um. very much not spoilers?#unless you count hemlock #tbb rex #captain rex #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb echo #Also the rest of the batch (tech; crosshair; wrecker; gonky) are not named anywhere outside Manuscript B of The Lost Unfinished WIP #which is only released 20 years later as part of an entirely different series and is also only one episode #and they each have one line of characterization; zero lines of dialogue (one if they're lucky) and are only mentioned in their death scene #can you tell i'm a FoG fan lol #seriously i wish we had a full novel FoG #alas #tbb: Fall of Pabu edition #next i need to do a silm by star wars logic!#imagine tFoG by tbb logic #everyone is about to die - oh look! morgoth just nabbed idril and ran away!#finrod somehow arrives to rescue turgon and the Lords!#everyone survives!#omg though silm by star wars logic #feanor dies; cremates himself; and then three chapters later is miraculously back #SOMEHOW FEANOR RETURNED #and given reembodiment it's actually more plausible!#star wars by silm logic everybody dies. silm by star wars logic feanor is alive and even more people die (because feanor)

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