#ALSO YES IRONICALLY I made these didn't post them & then suddenly I was finding all kinds of parable cookies floating around | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fangirlfrom-hell · 7 months

Text

A Day Full Of Emotions (Also the first time Jay sees Becca dance) || Jay Halstead x Healstead Sister || Healstead Sister one shot

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

Summary: There is a big art festival happening in Chicago and Becca will dance a solo for the first time in front of people. Jay has to work as a cop and can't be with her all the time as he wished. A bomb explodes in the event and everything becomes a mess. Bomb references to Season 5, episode 2.

Becca is Halstead sister. Remember she's a theatre girl. I might write something short about Hailey and Kim trying to do Becca's hair, because that's cute.

The song Becca is dancing is In- A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly, but only the part of the drums. Minute 6:29, for a better reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCkHanF4v1w

It was finally Saturday and the weather was perfect to be outside. It seemed like luck was on Becca's side, but she wasn't feeling very happy. In fact, she was feeling sick, nauseated. She laid on bed staring at the ceiling, until someone knocked at the door.

-"Morning, kiddo!" It was Jay. -"I'm sorry to wake you, but it's getting late and I need to get ready to work, so...".

Becca used to sleep in Jay's room whenever she stayed at his place. He always preferred to sleep in the couch, so she could be confortable in a proper bed.

-"Oh, yes. I'm sorry. It didn't crossed my mind". She said while standing up.

-"Don't worry. I'll just grab some clothes and get dressed in the bathroom. You can get ready in here...in fact, why are you still in bed? I have to drop you at your teacher's house on my way to the bullpen".

-"Yeah, about that...". Becca said scratching her eye. -"I don't think I'm going...".

-"What do you mean you are not going?" Jay didn't even let her finish the sentence. -"You've waiting for this day to come".

-"I'm not feeling so good. I have a stomachache and it feels like I'll throw up".

Jay instinctively touched her forehead to feel if she was irritated or had temperature, but everything felt normal. He immediatly knew what was goinng on.

There was a big art carnival happening in Chicago that day and Becca was going to participate in a dance group that would be moving around the park performing in different spots Mobile Dance, they called it. Her teacher gave her a solo and she was ready to do it, but it would be her very first time performing in front of an audience and the idea suddenly freaked her out.

-"You're good. You are just nervous". Jay said smiling.

About an hour later, Jay was helping Becca to put her backpacks inside of the truck, getting ready to leave. She was unusually quiet, but he didn't want to force any conversation.

-"Is Will coming?" Becca asked in the co-pilot seat.

-"I don't think so". Jay sighed. -"He has a shift at the hospital". Jay lied to Becca, not knowing if that last statement was true. He was mad at his brother for always puting their sister aside. He was also tired of lying for him, but he did it to protect Becca's feelings.

There was no reaction from Becca. The silence among them took over again.

-"I'm so sorry I can't go with you through all the stations. Since it is a huge event for the city, Platt asked us to be there patrolling. There's never enough cops for these things".

-"For the millionth time, Jay: don't worry, It's ok. I understand for real".

-"It's just that I don't feel confortable changing plans with you like this". -He continued with guilt.

-"Well, it's not like you won't see me, anyway...".

-"No. I'll be there in the third stop you make, that's the part of the park I'll patrol. I have my event map with the exact place and hour. I'll be in the spot a few minutes after you arrive to make sure to be in the front when people start to gather around".

-"And you won't get in trouble for that?"

-"I asked Platt, she agreed...in fact, she got a bit excited, don't be surprised if you find her among the crowd too". That made Becca blush in embarrassment. She hadn't tought there would be so many known people around. -"I'll be in my uniform, just rememeber that if you look for me".

That made Becca giggle, she always thought her brother looked funny on his police uniform.

-"All right, Bec. We're here". -Jay said while parking the truck. -"Is there any other of your friends coming here before the show?". He tried to ask casually. He didn't like the idea of leaving his little sister alone with someone he barely knew, even though it was her teacher. Anyway, he didn't have any other option, he had to go to work.

Above all, he didn't have the hability to do her artistic make up, nor to comb her hair as it was instructed: to braids up, one on each side. They should stick back to the head forming a circle. The idea was that they looked like horns. He tried, but failed miserably. Kim and Hailey wanted to help and gave it a try but ended up cursing whoever had the idea of that hair style. That's when Becca talked to her teacher and she proposed Jay to take care of her. She knew about Becca's family situation and was genuinely glad to help that little joyful kid.

-"No". Becca answered her brother's question. -"They all are going with their moms". That last piece of information was unnecesary, but she couldn't help it. She had certain grudge inside her chest, though she probably wasn't aware of it. Jay knew better and remained silent, thoughtful.

-"Hey! I will be there!". There was no more he could say.

-"I know". She smiled. That made Becca get out of her own mind.

The carnival was already full of people when Becca and her teacher arrived. They gathered with the dance group a few minutes before it was time to start. She looked around and found Kim among the cops, they waved hello when their eyes met. Burgess immediatly send a text to Jay: I just saw her, everything's ok. She looks fine . As the overprotective brother he was, Jay had his own security plan and the team was helping him to keep on eye on his sister.

As the hour drew near, Jay started to feel a mixure of excitement and nervousness. Involuntarily, he started to approach the place his sister would dance.

-"Isn't a little bit early?" Hailey asked following him.

-"Yeah. I don't know, I guess I don't want to miss it".

-"And you need to make sure she sees you". She guessed.

-"She needs to know someone is here with her, for her".

-"Well, she has a whole elite squad looking after her around the park and waiting to see her perform. She's not precisely alone...but I know what you mean. You are a good brother, she's very lucky to have you".

Jay just stared at Hailey, not knowing how to react or what to say, since he wasn't good dealing with these kind of feelings. The distant voice of a woman caught their attention before the moment became unconfortable. It came from a microphone afar: "...Come, everyone. Follow us to the mobile dance...". She was carrying a speaker.

-"It's them". Jay said looking at the horizon, searching for his sister among the heads of the group that was approaching them. He was nervous and couldn't hide it.

"...We are a dance group created by several institutions, dedicated to spread this art to every corner..."

-"There!" Hailey said pointing at Becca when she found her. -"So that's how the hair was supposed to look, uh". She laughed.

Becca was wearing a black leotard and black tights, nothing more. Her ballerina shoes were color red. She looked relaxed, but Jay didn't buy it, he knew how good she was to hide her feelings and emotions.

A lot of people began to gather while the woman with the microphone invited them to the show. Becca was moving her head from one place to another, eyes wide opened: "He said he would be here!", she said to her teacher. And he was right in front of her, on the other side of the circle that was now formed around the pallet where the dancers would perform. When their eyes met she greeted him effusively.

There was a ballet performance first, something classic with four teen ballerinas; then there was a tap number, a cheerful piece. All of the girls were presented as part of Becca's school, but Jay wasn't really paying attention to any of them, he just applauded by inertia at the end of each song. His anxiety for Becca grew after each number and Hailey noticed, thinking that was a cute gesture coming from a man like him.

-"Now..." -The woman on the microphone spoke. It was time for the third number. -"...presenting a choreography by Martha Bennett...".

-"That's Becca's teacher". Jay tensed up, touching Hailey's shoulder.

-"...Becca Halstead".

Jay's applause was considerably louder than everyone else's while the girl got into position. The music started to play, it was a psychedelic mix with drumbs. She was moving with very precise and abrupt movements, very mesmerizing.

-"Wow!" Hailey expressed. -"I've never seen her like this. She's usually so tiny, cute and shy".

-"I didn't...knew she could do this". Jay answered without taking his eyes off his sister. Many feelings began to form inside of him.

-"She's a whole different person".

When she finished, the public applauded in a normal way. It was Jay and Hailey who did it most effusively, even shouting with excitement. Becca turned to them a little bit embarrased and gave them a forced smile.

"Thank you for staying with us, this is Mobile Dance..." They announced through the microphone when all of the numbers were over. "...Please tag us if you post our dances online...".

As soon as she could, Becca ran to her brother's arms and he hugged her tight, lifting her a little bit.

-"You killed it!" Hailey said to the little girl.

-"Thanks...I actually messed up in like a lot of parts...".

-"Don't be so hard on you! You did great!" Her teacher yelled from a few steps far.

-"I think you were perfect. I'm actually very...impressed". Jay said with pride.

-"You are?"

-"I'm really proud of you". Becca smiled with teary eyes at her brother's statement.

-"Hey! Why don't we take a picture of you two?" Hailey proposed with her cellphone in hand. -"Seems like a day to remember".

Jay and Becca posed to the camera, both showing a bright smile.

-"You should take one with us too". Becca invited her brother's partner.

-"Uh--". She hesitated looking at Jay, who nodded in agreement. -"Sure".

-"There you go!". The lady who helped them take the photo said. -"Sush a beautiful family".

-"I-- should go back to our spot". Hailey said before running away.

At the same time, the dance group was ready to move to the next station. Becca's teacher called her to go.

-"I'll see you later, ok? I'll take you to dinner, whatever you want". He said as Becca was walking to her group. Jay's heart started to beat very fast as he saw his sister depart. -"Be careful, all right?".

The girl just answered with a thumb up. One of the moms in the group noticed the scene and addressed Jay: "Don't worry, Detective. She's not alone. We are taking good care of her!"

At the other side of the festival, Burgess, Atwater and Ruzek were walking the place.

-"So where am I getting these pastries for the boss?" Kim asked with a laugh.

-"Uh, Voight likes Ferrara's". Kevin answered. -"I personally think that Scafuri's better".

-"Is that what you think?"

-"Of course".

-"Ferrara's it is". She concluded.

-"Ferrara's it is". Adam repeated.

Kevin got apart from the group for a few seconds and noticed something strange: a van parking in a closed alley. His instincts told him that something was wrong.

-"Hey, we got a dark van with no plates, 5 o'clock". He said in the radio.

-"All right". Adam answered the call. -"That alley was supposed to be closed to traffic".

Two man got out of the van and started o walk way fom the place.

-"Hey, yo, genteman!" Kevin yelled trying to stop them, but they started to run. The officer ran after them.

-"Kim, you seeing this?" Adam asked.

-"Go! Go!" She said as they reached the van. There was smoke coming from the inside, as soon as they looked out they knew it was a bomb.

-"Son of a bitch! Clear this area and go". Adam ordered. -"I got Kev!".

-"50-21 Eddie. 10-1, 10-1. Roll us a bomb squad. We've a van with a possible explosive device.

Jay and Hailey listened to the call on their radios as an explosion sounded in the distance, alarming averyone around.

-"Shit!". Jay said. -"Let's clear the area".

-"Move! Move! Everybody get out!". Hailey started yelling.

-"Sergeant?" Jay talked to his radio as he was moving people with his free arm. -"My sister was heading to the North part of the park, do you have eyes on her? I need to know if she's ok".

-"Negative" -Platt answered. There was a lot of noise in her background. -"Don't worry, Halstead, I will find her".

As soon as she ended the conversation, she started to look around for the girl, but everything was a mess. People was running around in all directions, it was hard to see their faces. At that point, most of the 21st knew who Becca was, so it was easy for Platt to order some of the cops to be aware in case she crossed their ways.

Minutes later, one of them called on the radio "Sergeant, we found the girl". The crowd had already thinned, as most of the civilians had been evacuated, so it was easy for Platt to find them.

-"Thank God!" She exclaimed when she saw the little Halstead sitting under a tree.

-"We found her on the floor. She's a bit hurt, but nothing to worry about. She must have fallen while running, some people stepped on her". The cop informed. -"She wasn't alone, she was with her teacher. It was hard to convince the lady to go".

-"All right". Platt sighed. -"I'll take care of this now. Thank you, guys!"

-"Becca, it's Trudy. Do you remember me? Your brother sent me to find you. Are you feeling all right? I heard you were a bit hurt".

-"I feel a little bit dizzy, but I'm ok".

-"I think we should go to the hospital to check you, just to make sure everything is really ok".

-"No, I---Where's Jay?"

-Your brother is working right now. They got a heavy case and he needs to be there with the team. He's very worried about you, and I promised him I would find you and take care of you. So, would you let me take you to The Med? I will be right to your side all the time, I promise".

The next thing Becca knew was that she woke up in a different place. She was lying down in a sofa, facing the wall. As her eyes began to slowly open, she heard a distant conversation: "The doctor was worried for the hits in the head, but she said there is no damage, appart from some bruises and scratches she's completely fine. She asked me to call your father to know if he was home, and also to let him know she was fine. She didn't want him to pick her up, tough. She waited for you."

She turned around when she heard a door open and some foot steps approaching. Thet's when she noticed she wasn't wearing her dance clothes anymore. Instead, she was wearing a gray sweater with the CPD logo printed on the front. That's when she realized she was in the bullpen, the coffee room to be precisely, it looked so different at night with the lights off.

-"Hey there, sleepy beauty". Jay said crouching down to her level. -"I was told you were waiting for me. Sorry for the delay".

-"What time is it?" Becca asked standing up.

-"Hey, hey, hey, slow down. You hit your head, you gotta take it easy. How are you feeling?".

-"I'm fine, I'm just sleepy and tired. Sergent Platt took me to the hospital, The Med. Guess what: Will wasn't there". She said simply, while stretching her arms. Jay stared at his sister with sorrow.

-"Come on. I'll take you home, you need to rest properly". He stood up, but the girl didn't follow him. She just stared at the floor, immersed in her toughts.

-"Bec...".

-"Yeah, sure. I'm coming".

It was strange for Becca to see the building that empty. There was not a soul in the reception, except for Trudy, who was already leaving, and Hailey who was waiting for Jay to give her a ride.

-"Look at you, girl. Rocking the CPD sweater". Hailey said hugging her with one arm as they walked to the exit.

-"Can I keep it?"

-"Of course you can, sweetheart. It suits you well". Platt said with a smile.

-"I can't thank you enough for today, Trudy. Really, thanks for taking care of her".

-"Don't worry. It was my pleassure, Jay".

Jay was at the wheel driving unusually slow, Hailey was his co-pilot. Becca was in the back seat, her head agains the window. The road was dead silent. It could be because it was late and everyone was tired, but Jay knew her sister was holding something, that she wanted to say it but didn't know how to.

-"It was a day full of emotions, uh?" Hailey threw the question into the air. She was also feeling the tension between the siblings.

-"Yes it was". Becca answered with a dry tone.

Hailey turned to look at Jay, as he looked at his sister through the mirror.

-"Ok, Bec. Talk to me, what's on your mind?" He asked tenderly, not caring about his partener's presence.

-"He was there, Jay". Becca spit it out.

-"Who?" He was very intrigued.

-"Dad". She answered after a few seconds of silence.

-"Where?"

-"In the park. Dad was in the festival. He saw me dancing, Jay". Becca frowned. She had to wipe away a few tears before they rolled down her cheeks. She didn't want them to see her cry about it.

Without noticing, Jay started to drive even slower, his mind going in circles. Hailey passed her hand to the back part of the truck to touch Becca's knee in a reassuring gesture.

-"Here we are". Jay sighed as he parked the truck in the usual spot, away from the house. -"Hey, today's plans were ruined, but we can have luch tomorrow". He turned to his sister. -"You choose what you want. We can also have a movie day if you wan to".

-"I like that". She smiled. -"Can I stay with you tomorrow?".

-"Sure. Just make sure you grab your uniform. For now, let's go, you shouldn't be out of bed. I'll walk you to the porch". When he got out of the car, he turned to the co-pilot seat: "Sorry for the waiting. It won't take long, Hails".

They were in the middle of the street when the door of the house suddenly opened. Both of the siblings freezed, their dad was there, standing in the door frame. Jay felt a heat inside of him that didn't let him move, he only reacted when Becca touched his hand.

-"It's ok. I can carry my bags". She said as she took them carefully from her brother. -"You don't have to say or explain anything. I know".

Becca hugged her brother goodbye: "See you tomorrow. Don't forget!". And she walked to the entrance, nervously.

Unwittingly, Jay was giving small steps back, until he made sure that the little girl crossed the fence and he turned back straight to the truck. Hailey saw everything, and even when she was not so sure of what was going on, she felt sympathy with his partner.

The two detectives stared to the front, watching how Becca was received by her dad. She stopped in front of him, they were having a small conversation. Jay was in a defensive position, ready to act if he needed to. Unexpectedly, they witnessed how Mr. Halstead hugged his daughter for a fragment of sencond. From the distance, Jay could tell Becca was crying. He was also submerged in a sea of feelings.

-"A day full of emotions indeed, wasn't it?" Hailey broke the silence when the door of the house closed. She had a very strong impulse of hugging him, as if she knew he needed that kind of containment.

-"Yes is was". Jay answered swallowing his tears.

-"Want a beer and talk/not talk about it?" She offered.

-"Yeah. That would be helpful".

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share 😌♡

#Jay Halstead #Jay Halstead x sister #Halstead sister #Jay Halstead x Halstead sister #Chicago PD #Chicago PD Fanfic #One Chicago #Hailey Upton #Kim Burgess #Trudy Platt

29 notes · View notes

ahmedmootaz · 3 months

Note

Hello Ahmed! This time, instead of questions about the cast, I want to ask questions about you. What's your favorite fic for LobCorp/ruina/limbus? Imo yours (TMFOA/AiP) are my favorite simply because of the depth that you go into and the characterization the cast being in point. Second, how far would you say you are from your next chapter, and do you plan on implementing a segmented release like how you did chapters 26/27? Lastly (cast related fic), since you're technically God in your fics, how would the cast react to your existence (Assuming they don't know that they're fictional, only that you made their world. We don't need any existential crisis on top of the mountains of angst!!)

Dear hncdhnmfr,

Oh, questions for me, personally? You flatter me too much, but hey, who am I to complain about it? Also, hey, would you look at that! I'm actually responding to an ask before 24 hours have passed since it was published, what has the world come to?!

On a more serious note, I feel you certainly deserve a quicker response considering the ludicrous wait you had to go through last time, so apologies again for that.

So for you questions...Ironically enough, for as much as I write about it, I don't read too many PMverse 'Fics, mostly because I can't find Ayin 'Fics that have a focus on his as I want them to, although off the top of my head, Silent Resonance by KABN (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31268576/chapters/77295107) and A_Random_Reading_Person's LC works (https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Random_Reading_Person/pseuds/A_Random_Reading_Person/works?fandom_id=14487746) have always scratched my itch when it comes to Eyucar content and even Roland-centric stories. They're not bloated messes like my 'Fics, they have lots of monologues and character introspectives, and frankly speaking, they're a lot fluffier than my works. Who can say no to some PM fluffiness at last without having to suffer a whole ton of angst to get to it?

As for how far I am from the next AiP Chapter...that's an answer I wish I had covered. I'm writing more and more of Epilogue II every day, but honestly...it doesn't end. It keeps going on, and on, and on...although I have hopes I can finish it relatively soon, I also had plans to release it in August of 2023, soooooo...take from that what you will. What I will say is to keep your eyes peeled for April or May, or so I hope.

Also, yes, it's definitely going to need to be split into two parts, believe me. Even if I don't want to, the Archive editor can't post a Chapter that's longer than 500K characters...

As for that last question...I don't think of myself that way at all, not in the slightest sense. I would say I am closer to the Narrator when it comes to my role in the plot of AiP; sure, I write some elements, but I just nudge things in the right direction while letting the Narrator explain what, exactly I nudged and in what direction...at least, that's how I would describe it if I were to place myself within the Canon of my PM 'Fics.

So how would the cast react finding out I exist...honestly? They'd probably laugh it off or think I'm just another power-tripping lunatic from the City, although once they realise what I'm truly capable of, maybe they'll be resentful I didn't just write "Oh also Carmen suddenly unDistorted" or did something to aid them on their journey, which is frankly a good question. An answer of "well, you were never in any real danger, and lots of people love reading about you since you're celebrities" will sound more unhinged than I would intend to come off across, but with the correct wording and explanations, I'm certain that we can have an amicable relationship of sorts. Although Ayin and Yesod would definitely begin to worry if every action they partake in has been nudged by me or whether it's whatever free-will they have acting.

Overall, considering the nature of the City, it's not far-fetched to say they can get used to it...the question is just what, exactly, they'll go through before getting used to it. Hatred? Confusion? Indifference? All are possible options considering how wide the range of our dear cast is, although I'm almost certain the primary reaction will be anger for all of the angst I've pushed them towards for our sick pleasure, but then again, maybe I can argue my way out of that one by saying that in the end, the events I pushed them towards led to better results in the end, no? It's quite the fun thought exercise!

What do you think, hncdhnmfr? Surely you have your own opinion, hmmmmm? Regardless, and as always, thank you for your fun ask! I always look forward to them, and I hope this one makes up for last time's delay. Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin

6 notes · View notes

rayofmisfortune · 2 months

Note

About pre-virus ruin, ye, I suppose that's true. Thinking about it more, I do hope the showrunners keep it that way. Something about seeing them at their silliest and then getting the massive WHIPLASH after seeing them like THIS is... it's sad. I like to think we witnessed two character deaths that video. It's just that one started dying 50 years ago :') (l like to imagine their silliness originated from somewhere at least and was not all made up. A remnant from simpler times...) (1/10)

Aaaaah yea! And... if they end up giving us a backstory of them... I just reaaally want to see how they were dealing with the virus and adjusting to everyone around them being infected... I doubt it was easy on them qwq (no we're not writing that (i wanna) we already have a gazzilion unfinished projects glaring @ us)

I- wow I kinda forgot my stuff is on there jfjfjf AH I'M GLAD YA LIKED THEM! :3 I have a lot more in my drafts and as wips- well obviously it's not posted anywhere hehe

Well... hmmm if anyone WERE to fill in Jack in on the... news... i... i feel like he wouldn't take it well. "Where is Solar!" Oh buddy.. oh you precious murder machine qwq (had to look up what osmosis meant haha first time seeing the word n all that)... Jack slowly piecing it together as in the process of figuring it out he also slowly becomes sentient... I'm fine mhm

Oh, yea that... that is a sound reason. They, they had their reasons. I honestly like... don't think they ENJOYED hurting people. They were just... soooo off the leash when they arrived in this dimension. Scaring the hell out of Cassie and Gregory, the constant death threats, violent games and tricks. (One to three will always live in my head... "I can help with the cutting.") Like I said in... idk in which answer honestly it's all blurring together lmfao fjfjfj They kept up this act for FIFTY PLUS YEARS! And... they even managed to be one of their dimension's... I forgot the word but what the Ruin dimension's Monty was?? They were GOOD at their act. SO good they fooled everyone around them. Granted tho... those infected robots aren't too dreadfully hard to fool. Sun, when he was in Ruin's dimension, managed to fool one of them, convinced it he was Ruin. That robot didn't seem to posses the same level of sentience as the Ruin Monty we've seen in there (not to be confused with Ronty, rest in peace).

Fair! The lie detector video is.. really as ya said, our most reliable source of info. Even though some of the answers that were dinfed as truths were... weird.

Oooh you're right I haven't even thought of that heh. That was just silly in denial talk I suppose heh The Creators would have surely noticed... or... would they even have cared? Creators are selfish, self-centered insane geniouses... would they even care if one of their own suddenly vanished?

AHHHHH IT WOULD BE WORRYINGLY IRONIC 😭 Add onto that the very possible paraller between Cold Moon trying bring back his Sun and New Moon most likely going to drive himself to the point of shut down trying to find any signs of Solar possibly surviving... Oh my gosh I do NOT like this arc... WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO DOWN AROUND THIS TIME EVERY YEAR IT'S SO EXHAUSTING 😭

Mmm yea probably hehe We... don't really have anyone asides from Solar and Ruin to fact check this heh

#answered asks #thyme anon #tsams

6 notes · View notes

dinosaurcharcuterie · 7 months

Text

A month ago, at one-ish in the morning, when all the best decisions are made, I was messing around in Tinkercad to recreate archeological finds of bag handle frames from iron age Scandinavian areas, when it struck me that a) I can just use the svg import setting to get these in there and b) I wasn't interested in using leather or wool, so why was I suddenly hell bent on using a historical shape? I could make my own as long as the general concept of "two big holes, attachment holes, some weight to the entire thing" was there. So... I made some rain clouds. In glow in the dark filament, because that's what was in the house.

Long post under break

Did I have anything remotely suitable for making a bag? Of course not. My knitting yarn is budget acrylic used for white elephant gifts and toddler whims, and my fabric stash is light cottons and stretch materials for dresses. But I vaguely remembered a V&A tutorial on boro that went at it from a "mend with what you have if you don't have sashiko thread and needles" perspective. I had a lot of scraps in the cabbage patch. I had, in a moment of madness, bought some truly awful polyester embroidery thread a few years before that was just sitting there. So, after patching together a flimsy backing, sorting on enough scraps to get to denim weight and yolo-ing together a lining to keep the thread heavy backing from snatching on every thing I owned, all that was left to do was a bit of embroidery. With chronic joint pain. Just as the seasons were changing.

It took a month, 64m of thread in 8 colors, and I chose to be stabbed repeatedly with straight pins over basting because stitching through this with sharp embroidery needles is painful in every sense of the word, and my memory wasn't good enough to patch this as I went, which is what you're supposed to do, apparently.

Things I learned from this stage: don't be like me and forget that boro shrinks your fabric, making your lining about 6cm too big after you've put in 4 inner pockets. Also don't put on the bottom as a part of your fabric piece. This was not fun to construct from this shape. Don't get your embroidery thread from Action, because boy, did this not want to split or sew without tangling. It frayed and pilled while being sewn at one arm's length at a time. Just splurge on sashiko thread, or at least DMC cotton if you follow me in this madness. Seven years of cross stitch under my belt, plus another five of helping assemble beginner kits for a secondary school, and I've never struggled this hard with just a bunch of running stitches. Thank mercy they're not supposed to be even.

Did I know that, if a lot of sources recommend you use certain materials, that might be habit, that might be parroting others--but it's usually because that is the least frustrating way to go about it? Intellectually, yes. Will this be the last time I choose to smother the little voice in my head reminding me of that? Not while the higher quality materials are less easily available.

Bad decisions made, I fumbled through. The only way to get it vaguely symmetrical was to first sew the vertical seam, them the other long side of the bottom, then the short sides. My overlocker didn't even blink when I shoved every fraying, uneven edge through it to keep this from entirely falling apart during use. It feels as solid as heavy canvas, but far softer. My sewing machine, which throws of a fit if anything is too thick or too tight a weave, didn't mind going through this, or over the knots keeping everything in place on the back. "Good enough works" in action, baby.

There was no easing the lining in prettily, so there's a lot of creases. And since all the embroidery is low quality polyester, I can't iron any part of this. Maybe that's for the better. I've got no idea what shape this would be if I went by the actual seam lines.

The only thing left to do was attach my cute little clouds... For which I found no tutorial. Or historical find pictures with enough fabric still attached. Plenty of archeological pictures of one line of big holes, but most people use either the holes meant for straps and sprang or the chunky holes for lots of loops. I'm sure they're learning from other people's mistakes, but those mistakes are severely undocumented with the state Google is in these days. Oh well. The historically accurate thing to do is work with what you have (more crappy embroidery thread) and use what techniques seem sensible based on what you've seen (Frixion pen to transfer the holes off the frame onto the lining and long, looping stitches).

And that's how, in a mere five weeks of work, you make a whimsical bag inspired by rain clouds over a stormy landscape.

Just gotta nip into town to get some flat hoodie thread for a strap.

Note to anyone reading this: it's now 8 hours after I've finished construction on this and I've realized that the sewing hole shape makes more sense if sewn/brute force appliqué'ed directly onto the bag instead of as loops over it.

Will my way work too? Guess I'll find out.

1 note · View note

thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

Text

Kanej x gn! Reader - Falling

A/n: So I know I haven't been posting lately and I'm so sorry! I have like 11 drafts (in my Tumblr alone) and I couldn't get any of them done and I don't know why! I also used the Dear Evan Hansen seen Did you fall? As an inspiration!

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING!!! Suicidal reader, falling, heights, suicidal thoughts, mentions of death, language, I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: In a heist, you decided to let go

I do not own shadow and bone six of crows or its characters! I also do not own dear Evan Hansen because some of the dialogue came from that! On another note, I also did not make/do not own this image!

Your hand slipped from the ledge and then you were was falling.

Your know Inej had fallen many times, it's practically part of her job description. You had to make mistakes to get better so falling and tumbling was just how it worked, of course, she hadn't any more. Any of the stories she's told you have all been from the past. Kaz had fallen too, he jumped off a building and that's how he injured his leg, but you don't think any of their stories have lived up to this.

Your hair is flung back behind you, and you really have no control over your body. It should seem like your going down but that's not what it looks like, it looks like your floating up. You try and spread out your body so you would slow the speed you were falling at but it's no use.

You try and scream but at the rate that your falling it gets caught in the air and even that ability is taken away from you like so much air fills your lungs.

You don't close your eyes and try to imagine what your life could have been. After all, the only reason you weren't on the ground, safe with your friends was that you had just robbed and gotten Nikolai back Strumhond's ships. You might as well enjoy the view.

Luckily for you, there was a beautiful sunrise in the distance and the clouds seemed to be placed in all the right places like the framing around a picture.

Though it was ironic because it showed that life would go on after you died because death was inevitable for you wasn't it? Your life was just another spec in the universe barely even making a dent in anything.

A bitter thought comes to mind; at least you wouldn't have to deal with all the shit trauma you would have had to go through. The reason you had 'slipped' from the ledge was no coincidence.

The air around you started to get heavy and you could see the bottom of the earth coming closer and closer. It's then where you close your eyes and your mind forms two people - Kaz and Inej.

Your girlfriend and boyfriend would... Gosh, they would probably wreck the world till they found out who made you fall. Only their search would end up empty.

You didn't want to leave them like this, not really yet they had each other. Would good were you? You were always just an extra understudy, you were never good at something you were just... Average.

And why would you want to live in this saint's forsaken world any longer?

Mentally you brace yourself for the impact; you probably wouldn't even feel a thing. You were so high up that the force of you hitting the ground would make it so you would die on impact.

You don't. You don't end up hitting the ground the rough and welcoming grass and dirt of the earth signifying your end. Your freedom, no you find yourself face-first into a ginormous cushion on a flying boat.

Groaning you look around only to find that this is definitely Nikolai's (or Strumhond's) ship. And there were some frazzled-looking Crows coming right towards you.

Fuck. Fucking shit- Nope, nope you were not going to talk about this. No one needed to know! It was only a little high...

You had almost taken your own life.

The facts come full force at you and you have to calm your breathing so you don't have a full-on panic attack.

"Y/n!" Inej comes full force basically flying towards you as she leaps through the air as graceful as a cat and lands right beside you. Suddenly she pulls you into her arms and you have to remind yourself to embrace her because you feel so numb.

"I'm okay." You croak and it comes out a little teary but to everyone else, it had sounded like you were afraid of what might have happened but what you really were afraid of was what did happen.

Inej helps you off the cushion even though you are pretty sure you sustained little to no injuries. That thing was fucking soft.

"Y/n." It comes out shaky and your eyes meet Kaz's and they aren't lined with tears like Inej's but his voice wavers and holds the fear of the man who would do anything not to be scared like that ever again.

He limps over to you both and surprisingly pulls you both into his embrace.

This time you don't feel numb no - you feel fucking guilty.

Finally, all three of you pull away and when you meet Kaz's eyes again you know he knows.

By the Saints, this is just your luck today, isn't it?

"What happened," Kaz says slowly like he's talking to a child.

Okay, and that's why you didn't want to tell anyone because you weren't a child and you weren't making this shit up! He couldn't just undermine you because he thought you need some support 'that way!' That's not what you need!

It's not going to make it any better.

"I fell." You say crossing your arms taking a few steps back from Inej and Kaz.

"Kaz let it go." Inej's voice isn't light it's that commanding tone she uses to the people on her ship. She's never used that tone on us, sure maybe that mother tone but not that tone.

What's happening to us?

Kaz sets his hard gaze on Inej willing her to take a step back but she stands her ground of course she does.

Am I the reason we'll fall apart?

"Really? Is that what really happened?" Kaz utters and he turns his gaze towards you. It's hard and angry and he isn't Kaz Brekker or Kaz Rietveld anymore, he's Dirtyhands. And your just another opposing gang member he's trying to get information out of.

"Yes!" You shrink away from him becoming smaller and smaller till you hit the wall of the ship.

Inej seems to have caught on to what Kaz is assuming and she looks at you in surprise and shock.

"Y/n... No, no you can't have..."

"Why don't I believe you?"

You are pressed up against the wall now with Kaz and Inej in front of you, keeping you in your place so you don't or can't run away.

It was always meant to be Dirtyhands and the Wraith wasn't it? You were a fool for thinking they could ever love you. They would leave you wouldn't they? If you told them the truth.

Everything would be lost.

"I was... I was holding on!" You nearly yell like your trying to convince yourself that you didn't let go of that ship. That you almost won the war within yourself.

"Then I lost my grip on the ledge and I just... I was falling."

It's Inej this time who speaks and she gently places a hand on your shoulder.

"Did you fall or did you let go?"

The question hangs in the air and you see now that they weren't Dirtyhands and the Wraith, no. They were concerned, worried, and afraid they were going to lose you to yourself.

"I let go." You whisper looking down at the floor of the ship not bearing to be able to look them in the eyes.

You shove them out of the way but you couldn't just run away, it was a fucking flying ship for fucks shake! There was no getting away, and you didn't feel like flinging yourself off Nikolai's ship.

So you just stand by the railing as silent tears slowly roll down your face the only thing that recognized your suffering.

Out of the corner of your vision, you see two people come up beside you on each side. You don't say anything you don't even look at them, you just look on at the sunrise and how it's almost forming into a beautiful sunny day.

"I'm sorry." Inej whispers and you hesitantly takes your hand and you can't help but let her.

You look over to Kaz and for once in your life, all his guards are down and you can tell he's also sorry. But you could also tell that he was so, so afraid.

"Please don't leave us."

Its barely said yet you can hear it clear as day and he takes your other hand looking at you with pleading eyes.

Looking over to Inej her eyes held the same beg, the beg of forgiveness, and the beg of safety.

Your beautiful Crows.

"I'll try."

"That's all we ask." Inej states as she and Kaz move closer to you and you all look at the sun. And what's beyond.

Words 1463

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626

222 notes · View notes

shirophantomvox · 3 years

Text

First Date with Chrollo (Human Diary)

Hello everyone! I am back with another “First Date” post featuring the Prince of Darkness. This was an anon post but I can't find the ask anywhere! I have been watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures lately and it is a very interesting show. Dio turned into a zombie and he’s so mean to Joseph. Anyway, let’s get into the post. The end is a bit angst-y but I did that to take a slight turn from all Fluff. I hope you enjoy! Part 2 coming sometime this week.m

It is common knowledge that Chrollo loves to read many books. When he was a child, he had time to read and that provided a great source of comfort. Although he seems to be ruthless, every human has the ability to seek compatibility and compassion. Both Hisoka and Chrollo enjoy the romance genre except Hisoka prefers to watch movies while Chrollo loves to read stories. You've known Chrollo since elementary school. You were fortunate enough to be able to move out of Meteor City and attend a better elementary school. As a child, you were an outcast and made few friends but on occasion, Chrollo would see you at a local arcade. Of course, your mother paid for the both of you to have fun but once it was over, it broke your heart because you knew about the conditions he’d return to once he left.

As time went on, you entered college and decided to invite Chrollo on campus so he could be something like a driving force for future success. You’ve been accepted into Yorknew University planning on majoring in Computer Science with a minor in Digital Art. Reaching Chrollo posed a challenge. He never responded to a few messages but on the third try, he answered with an excited response.

“Please forgive me y/n for not responding soon enough. I am more than happy to visit you. I am proud of you and your accomplishments. I do not see myself as a college man but, hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it right? I’ll be in touch.”

-Chrollo

At exactly 7 PM on a calm Fall night, standing outside of the campus’ most prominent book store, you began to sweat and your makeup began to drip. Just as you were about to wipe it off, you heard a voice call your name.

“Y/n? Is that you?” He chuckled as he questioned your appearance.

Turning around, you jumped a little at the sight before you. This wasn’t the same Chrollo you remember, of course. He had grown several feet, his face was much sharper, his arms were much bigger, had a bandana tied on his forehead, and he had a few rings on. He was dressed in a white polo shirt, black pressed slacks and black dress shoes. It’s weird. It felt like an arrow was shot through your heart.

“Are you ok? You act as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m fine! I’m just---You--look…”

“Ah, I see. There’s no need to be flustered. I am the same as when we were kids.”

The Yorknew Sailor Store was designed something exactly like a Barnes and Noble except the walls were painted to match the school’s colors.

The bookstore had a perfectly designed Starbucks, with a wooden finish, black and brown metal tables, beige tile floor, and glass doors.

Chrollo immediately noticed the change in behavior, one he wasn’t used to.

The students were snooty according to him and reminded him of how the city council would act towards him, his family, and those who were like him.

First, you offered to buy him a drink. The good thing about Chrollo is that if you or anyone else offers to buy something, He will not reject it. There is no such thing as having too much pride regarding him.

“Do you drink coffee?”

“Of course I do,” he replied. “But I don’t think I’ve had any of these drinks. A Caramel Macchiato? That sounds good.”

“Order it then! That will give you just the right amount of energy for today’s reading!”

To you, this was just two friends reuniting with each other but something else told you that Chrollo thought it was something more. He only dressed up like this if he was going out with someone special and even then it wasn’t an expensive Polo Short, It was his best t-shirt and jeans.

It boggles your mind how Chrollo acquired his expensive clothing but maybe he obtained a great job and is able to make a living for himself.

“I’d like to order a Caramel Macchiato.”

“What’s the name for this drink?”

“Chrollo,” you responded.

“And for you?”

“I would like a caramel Frappuccino with soy milk and no whip cream.”

“Alright. That’ll be $15.00.”

Chrollo glanced at you wide-eyed.

“It’s ok. I got it.”

You take out your card to pay and as you move out of line you bend over to whisper in his ear. “Maybe you can pay for dinner though.”

He laughed and smiled. “Of course, y/n.”

The bookstore was full of comfortable furniture ranging from light blue, dark blue, white in the lounge area. Both of you decided to sit across from each other on the blue chairs that swallowed you both as you sat.

As he read, he’d point out any interesting points in the book. He got tired of yelling across the table, so he decided to share a chair with you. He could feel the heat radiating from your body.

It was almost obvious that you all were involuntarily flirting with each other. The school was full of couples but occasionally seeing the goofy couple was the highlight of everyone’s day.

“This man was so devoted to a woman that does not know that he exists.”

“Sounds pointless,” you say, still trying to read your book.

“Well, she knows he exists but she is ignoring him and making him look like a fool in front of everyone. He says that there is something about her that he has never seen in any woman.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s her eyes, smile, intelligence, the shape of her lips, and her perfume powder aroma. Those are things that drive men wild.”

You smiled and laughed but came to a quick halt when you felt something along the ridge of your neck made you still. The hair on your neck stood up still as the invading force came in contact with your skin. It was Chrollo grazing his nose against your skin, slightly sniffing in your aroma; slowly breathing in and out.

Closing your eyes couldn’t make your sudden arousal fade. At this point, nearly everybody was looking at you both and looked away. This behavior was innocent for college culture, but it was taken as a cute gesture rather than naughty.

You blush. It was quite surprising that your childhood friend viewed you as something of the sort. It was both flattering and scary.

There’s no denying that Chrollo is handsome but if you dated him and the relationship didn't last, it could ruin your friendship.

At this point, Chrollo had his right arm resting lazily behind your back as his head and next aimed in a position that would allow his nose to lay carelessly on your neck.

“You smell delightful. I didn’t know you wore such expensive perfume. Is it….,” He sniffs again, “Flower Rose?”

“Yes! How did you know? Does your mother wear it?”

“She does now. I bought it for her a week ago and now the guys in the city can’t stay off her.”

Wow. The City. Even though it was a hell hole, it was your hell hole. How is everything? How is your mother? How did you manage to have such an expensive taste in clothing and fragrance?

Chrollo enjoys making others flustered. It's amusing to see them stutter when they’re either aroused or nervous.

On the flip side, seeing Chrollo flustered was the highlight of the century! The bad guys are used to being “bad” but expressing softer emotions makes it amazing and a reminder that they can experience them too.

Grabbing Chrollo’s left hand, you gently kiss it a few times and wink at him. He smiled, hiding his dumbfounded expression, and blushed slightly.

“I see you catch on quick.”

“I was raised in Meteor City. Just because I’m here doesn't mean I have forgotten where I come from. But I didn’t know you liked me.”

“You were the only one that trusted me and played with me when no one would.”

It felt like two magnets were pulling you closer. If he kissed you right here right now, you could just melt into a puddle but before anything happened, Chrollo’s phone rang loud and echoed throughout the bookstore.

Glancing at his phone, you saw an unknown number call, and judging from his actions he stood quickly to his feet.

“I’ll only be gone for a second.”

Hmm. That was odd. During this short intermission, you continue to read your book. Ironic enough, you weren’t into romance novels per se, you enjoyed action and comedy books!

Once Chrollo returned, his face was flushed and his soft demeanor had suddenly disappeared. He looked as if he was going to punch a wall.

“What’s wrong, Chrollo?”

He glanced at you with a somber smile, hoping to convince you that he was alright. “I am fine, y/n.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, if you count my mother being seriously injured, then yes.”

“Oh no! We can leave now, it’s fine.”

“No, it's ok. She wouldn’t want me to leave you all by yourself at this time of day.” He pointed to the night sky.

Wow! That was quick!

“What do you mean?”

“My mother predicted that I could end up with you...she also predicted that someone would be hurt or in danger if that prophecy was fulfilled. It’s sort of like give or take. In order to make someone happy, someone has to surrender their happiness and I guess it was her.”

A single tear dropped down his cheek and nothing more. He didn’t care if other men singled out his “weakness” because he’d destroy them all and he didn’t want y/n to know about his abilities until later.

The comfort of your warmth against his head provided more than comfort. He felt safe, welcomed, not judged, and vulnerable. He knew that you wouldn’t make him out to be a bad person but instead welcome him home with open arms. You were his human diary.

93 notes · View notes

bored-storyteller · 3 years

Text

Dear Anon, sorry if I can't do the screen of your request :3 anyway I hope you like it

Warning: mention of violence and blood (nothing too bloody I think)

45- Tokyo Ghoul, Uta x human!Reader

“Natural”

That's your favorite time of the day. When you sit at the table in the hot cafeteria, with the steam of the sweet boiling drink in your nostrils, the warmth of the discreetly attended but not too noisy environment and your faithful sketchbook open on the polished wooden shelf. The first blank page available looks at you, waiting to become your world, your dreams.

You are particularly lucky today; he is there.

When you entered he was already sitting at the bar, sipping a black coffee. He doesn't come every day, nor does he always arrive at the same time, but when you find him you know he will stay a long time.

You don't know his name - or at least you shouldn't know, it's not nice to overhear conversations - you don't know who he is, you just know that the first time something entered him it made you hold your breath. You don't even know what has caused you so much upset at a simple glance; it's not his extravagant style, it's not his piercings or his intricate tattoos. They are not even his strange and sometimes scary eyes. They are not those caressing, sweet and persuasive ways with which he seems to behave as usual, and not even the calm ironic words he occasionally addresses to the one who serves behind the counter. No, it's none of this, or maybe it's all this, but you don't know it, you can't understand it.

Today he smiled at you. The place wasn't too crowded, and his look had turned to you at the chirping of the bell. How bizarre as a face that threatens so much aggression it is capable of such delicacy.

You wonder if he knows how much your eyes touch him every time you meet him. Maybe yes, but he doesn't really care.

His decorated fingers are absent-mindedly tucked into the handle of the cup, his hair today is gathered in a rather messy half-ponytail. You don't know if he did it on purpose or if he just didn't pay much attention to it.

For a second you get lost following his profile line. His lips are slightly parted, he is listening.

You choose to seize the moment, and your freshly sharpened pencil glides over the slightly textured paper, sketching indefinite sketches. You have plenty of time to improve them.

You don't really remember since you started drawing Uta - as the man in the coffee shop calls him, and for you he is the only reference you can rely on - only, suddenly the block that had taken possession of your artistic skills was suddenly loose. Whoever that man was, you wanted to draw him.

From there, his face started to appear more and more often in your drawings, and from there he started to inspire you, he started to make you imagine.

"Beautiful, he is really beautiful." You thought immediately, and at the beginning it was nothing more. Then, slowly, over time that "beautiful" had extended beyond his physical boundary, also touching his attitude, his voice, his expressions.

You never really talked to him - out of shyness, or maybe not to break that magic - but it's not important. That's okay, you've started to get attached to him, you've begun to hope that he can be okay, that he can be happy, and it doesn't matter who he is or who he isn't. His mere presence has given you so much.

Today it is a coincidence that you and he get up at the same time from your respective seats. He surely didn't notice, and neither did you, as you put your sketchbook back in your bag.

It is not rush hour, and even if you are far away you can see him well. He is so calm, while he keeps his balance clinging effortlessly to the steel tube. His eyes look beyond the glass, although there is little to see. But maybe they see much more? You wonder what he is thinking, what can a person like him think? Who knows how he lives, you wouldn't even know how to attribute a precise age to him.

He is quicker than you to get out, and you are still settling your bill. It's not like you want to chase him, you're not a stalker or a maniac, but he's right in front of you. It is a coincidence. It is also a coincidence when he takes the subway with you.

Your stop passes by, and this time it is no coincidence.

Shinjuku is his station, apparently. Yes, it suits him, it's a suitable environment for him, at least you think. The frenetic lights and noises make the neighborhood alive even in the evening dusk. It is not a bad place to pass the time, it is full of attractions, activities and culture.

You feel a bit dirty following him like this, but it's not something you can really command. You just want to know who he is, your muse. You would like to be close to him, you would like to ask him questions, but at the same time you are afraid. You are afraid of seeing him disappear, scared of you. Who will fill your blank pages if he leaves? But how come you could justify your behavior towards him? Would he ever understand the beauty he represents for your artist eyes?

When he disappears among the people it's not that big of a problem. You don't want to interfere in his business, after all you just wanted to have him close a little longer, at least close to your eyes.

But even if you didn't see him anymore, you didn't regret having extended your trip a little. Tokyo could inspire an artist more than people thought, and your sketchbook is back in your hands, to sketch what came to you - and from time to time to look back at that face that is taking shape more and more. below the details you have come to know by now.

There, in that district of the capital, if you take enough alleys and go down enough steps, you can reach hidden areas away from the eyes of tourists. Sure, they might seem insignificant and at times creepy, but for someone like you the small traditional shop on the corner, or the writing on the wall that would be poorly tolerated in the city center, has such a particular charm, so intense that it makes you imagine stories, and eyes that never existed.

And it is while the graphite of your pencil draws more or less regular shadows on a creature that looks so much like that tabby cat looking for food in the alley, that something makes your blood run cold.

A cry, a cry of terror. It was sharp, scratchy, but immediately suffocated, or rather, broken.

And it is then that looking up to the sky you see the night. It is not the case for someone like you to be in those areas with darkness that has fallen.

And that's why you don't bother thinking about that scream, you just think about going back through those alleys, and as quickly as possible.

But for you the world is bigger than for any human being, and your feet stop, your breath freezes in your chest.

There is no light, you are alone, but taking refuge behind the wall like a mouse, your eyes too used to observing see it immediately.

Him. It's him. Him, and his eyes light up hot. In the light glow of the moon and the flickering artificial lights you can see blood-colored veins that like roots mark his nocturnal sclera up to affect the pale skin.

His arms always dyed with black weaves are now covered in red, as are his hungry lips, his face up to his nose.

You know perfectly well what is happening, you know that that mass of flesh at his feet is a man he has just killed, to devour him.

You know what he is, and it scares you. How could it not? Yet it is precisely that fear that inspires you, that makes you take the figure of him in the dim light. As many details as possible are frantically marked on the paper, everything you need to remember.

"Beautiful" is everything your confused and terrified mind can think as you start running unaware of the fact that he saw you - or rather, he smelled you -, but luckily for you too late. . . .

"I don't know anything about it."

You don't know if actually the case those investigators are investigating is actually the killing - or the post-killing - you witnessed, but it doesn't really matter. Your words come out with such an ease that you are amazed too.

You wonder which god is angry with you for letting you cross their path and their eyes, is it your punishment for asking for help?

Maybe wandering around the back streets of Shinjuku makes you suspicious? Probably. But it doesn't matter, you really don't know anything. You are ready to forget everything in order to protect him. You can not miss it. He is your subject, your art.

You hold your sketchbook to your chest, protective.

"I didn't know there were ghouls in the area… is it really that dangerous?" It's not that you like to lie, but the more you can mislead those people, the more you can avoid danger to him, so don't blame yourself. It's the right thing, it's right that he has the chance to live.

"We don't have precise information, but it would be better not to wander alone in such isolated places, especially if the day is ending."

Looking up at the sky you realize that the sky is slowly turning on the evening colors. Who knows what you really expected. Were you seriously hoping to find him? Maybe Shinjuku was just a stop for him that day. Or maybe you are the cause why you don't come across him anymore, not even at the cafeteria.

“Now that I know, I'll try to be careful. I'll finish quickly and go home right away. "

The man in front of you smiles, his eyes scan the surroundings come to make sure you are safe: "Well, if you see something strange, even a suspicious trace, please contact us."

You agree. He gives you the impression of a good-hearted man, that agent, and you silently thank him as he and his companions walk away from you.

The world is cruel. It is cruel, but you don't even know in what respect, because it can be so cruel and so generous at the same time. So kind and so unfair.

And while in solitude your free mind wanders among those thoughts, something makes you quickly return to the ground, rushes you, crushes you.

A stabbing pain takes you to the right side of your body, like a burning fire throbs and quivers in your torn muscles, starting from the hollow between the neck and shoulder.

You would scream, but you are prevented, because a cold hand presses on your lips forcefully.

You don't really think about what's happening, you don't have time to think. All you can do is wriggle desperately, even though the strength holding you back is far superior to yours.

That pain repeats itself, more overwhelming on the open wound, and this time you can at least turn around in the arms of torture. And everything stops.

His beautiful face, the face you searched for so intensely is there, a few inches from yours. His eyes look at you, they scan you. His tongue licks your blood and his arms tighten you against him to keep you from running away.

Have you ever had him so close? Do not you think. You don't think he has ever looked at you as directly as he is doing right now.

But you don't have time, you have no way of thinking. The blood slips away, your eyesight darkens and your body loses sensitivity with every passing second.

The world is so kind to grant you that closeness, and so cruel to give you so little time to enjoy what you have so desired.

"Beautiful ..." You manage to murmur, and maybe that's really all you want to tell him. Your hand rests cold and delicate on his face, touching his pale cheek. His night-colored tuft lightly tickles your numb knuckles, and his confused gaze is the last thing you see. . . .

How long hadn't anyone caressed him like that? Had anyone ever caressed him like that?

Uta hadn't really looked for you, even though he recognized you, for some reason he just avoided meeting you again. It was the riskiest choice for him, yet he had subconsciously decided to give you that chance, to the little artist in the coffee shop.

But you were there, so close to him, in his domain. He had smelled you, so what could he do?

Yet you weren't behaving like everyone else. He didn't believe he could see such warmth in human eyes, ready to give in to forced sleep, and the bite had been held back. He still feels the sweetness and tenderness of your flesh running down his throat, but he has held back from giving you the coup de grace. A sign of respect for an artist like him? Or just too risky curiosity?

And your hand moved away from him too soon, slumping along his arm with a dead weight.

From your chest your black-covered notebook slips to the ground, you had held it tight all the time despite your injured shoulder.

His pupils scrutinize the object with distrust and curiosity. Probably he should kill you before he feels free to browse, yet now he is there, bent over. His long moon fingers and night-colored interlacing turn the pages with a light and quick gesture.

There are drawings of animals, people, objects. You're good, really good, he likes your style.

But that is not all. He could have foreseen it, he could have suspected since your eyes touched him so much, yet it was as if in his vision this was impossible. Despite this impossibility, one's face looks at him, and turning the page it is still there, only from another point of view. There are drawings of him in every perspective, with expressions that not even he realizes he has - probably no one has ever noticed -; some portraits are detailed, some are colored, some are just sketches that, despite everything, reflect him, while still others are started and never finished, deleted and thrown away as errors.

He is really beautiful.

You even wrote it down. You have written a lot, you have taken note of the details of him.

Uta doesn't know how he actually feels. How is he feeling? He feels a shyness on him that is not his own. Is it embarrassment? Maybe, in part. In part it's confusion, and in part ... how long hasn't someone considered him with the tenderness with which you did? You had watched him from afar for so long, and so intensely.

He obviously understood your interest, every time he greeted you cordially it was a confirmation, but he didn't think there was such a stupid sincerity in your feelings.

As he continues to turn the cream-colored pages, he notices that some pages are torn. He doesn't really give weight to them, he also does it when a work of his does not satisfy him, despite your mistakes being present several times in the notebook.

The last page is still him, he is smiling. He wonders if he really smiles like that. He looks really handsome, and he doesn't know if he's real or your eyes have affected that image to make his face so kind and serene.

A soft sigh blows between his lips as he closes your treasure. Yet, before he can complete the action, something blocks him.

On the bottom, on the hard cover, the internal part reproduces the black of the external facade. He probably wouldn't have noticed anything strange if his eye wasn't used to being attentive.

Sticking his fingers into the crack under that black, he manages to retrieve a slightly protruding sheet, one of the sheets you tore.

On paper, the dark traces form his figure again, but this time something is different. He is different.

He is a ghoul in that drawing. He is bent over his victim, his placid face stained with blood, like his arms. He is imposing above the figure you have represented in the shadow.

Yet despite this, he is not ugly or cruel. You made it beautiful anyway, natural. Yes, you simply grasped his nature, you grasped the beauty in his nature and brought it back to paper, as a work of art.

It's not finished yet, his critical eye saw it well. Maybe that's why you hid it? Why were you dying to complete it during your days, to always have it with you, but were you afraid it would be discovered? Did you tear up so many pages for this? To deprive prying eyes of discovering his nature through your drawings?

Honestly, were you really protecting him, in your own way?

He had distractedly heard you talking to the Doves, and hadn't given it any weight - always because it was impossible, in his eyes - but now, in front of himself so sweetly admired by your shy eyes, he can't help admitting that something it moves in his stomach, like agitated butterflies.

Perhaps it is the interest in having been made a work of art by such skilled hands, or a sense of esteem that overwhelms him when he realizes that he is in front of a skilled artist, or perhaps, deep down, it is a simple motion of affection he can't help but feel for amazing human beings like you. Even while he was killing you, you didn't speak out against him. You are stranger than Tsugumi.

Uta may be crazy, but he is not insensitive, on the contrary, it is his sensitivity that makes him so uncomfortable in the world.

He feels you tremble and suddenly remembers he has you in his arms. He hadn't noticed that he had kept you with such care; your lifeless head, resting on his chest, rises and falls to the rhythm of his breaths.

Look at your suffering face, in his lap you are getting colder and colder and the nectarine blood continues to dirty both your clothes and his.

You can die, but the wounds he inflicted on you are not fatal in themselves - luckily -.

Will you forgive him for tasting your body? Probably yes. He doesn't know you, but he has already understood you, and now he wants to understand more. . . .

The warmth envelops you, all you perceive is a warm and placid relief.

Your clouded mind only asks you one question: "Are you dead?"

You don't really know why you should be, you just know that there is that possibility. Yet, slowly, a physicality settles on you, making you return to earth, away from the world of ideas.

Your fingers barely move and your sensitivity feels warmth and softness. The shoulder burns.

Your eyelids vibrate before venturing to lift again wondering if you really are living.

The light is dim, the environment is unfamiliar to you and yet you perceive something you know, even if you don't really know what it is. A sensation? A smell?

"Hey…"

A gentle, light, friendly voice. Maybe it's a bit hypocritical of him, but what does it matter to you? You're probably dreaming, he really killed you and that's your hell. It's not that bad if you can spend your pains admiring him.

His blood-colored and strawberry-colored eyes scan you attentively, there is no threat in his features, only a barely hinted smile, a smile that you adore, and a greeting from him that for some reason makes your rhythm pick up again your heart: "Good morning."

#uta tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul #uta x human reader #uta x reader #tokyo ghoul x reader #uta tg #tokyo ghoul oneshot #tokyo ghoul re #tokyo ghoul anime #anime #one shot #request

189 notes · View notes

lazarettta · 3 years

Text

Misthios VII

Pairing (Mother Miranda x Spartan!Reader)

Rating (M)

Word Count (4.6k)

Warning (probably language right now)

You and Miranda are finally moving on to having that long chat that's separated you both for centuries.

The Queen's eyes fluttered open, finally waking with the morning rays of the sun peaking over the mountain. Her balcony doors were wide open to let the cool night breeze into her personal chambers while the two fireplaces burned well into the night. It was a combination of warm and cool that her majesty enjoyed greatly as it helped her with sleep.

Of course, sharing her bed with you also aided with her troubles with sleep for the past few months since your arrival to the region. Wonderful in all the ways she could never have imagined; a warrior and a lover, the two things that made her life easier—and the lives of her enemies that much worse.

It had been well past dinner time when you returned to the castle along with the squadron of soldiers you'd gone with including a Captain of the military who was leading the raid. Part of your armor had been slashed and torn, stained with blood and whatever else you encountered outside of the castle walls.

But when Miranda stood in the doorway of her private bath watching as you stripped of your amour—she witnessed no open wounds for her to tend to or fret over, but blood stained your skin anyway. Even though she knew that she should have the moment she noticed: Miranda never questioned why you'd always have a new scar every other day or why your shirts had the evidence of a stab wound taking place right above your hip, including a blood stain, but all you could do was smile when asked about it.

“ Is everything alright, your majesty?”

Miranda blinked, her mind coming back to reality now finding herself sitting up in her bed currently being blinded by the morning sun. The Queen sighed heavily, looking down at your sleeping form—as always you were on your back with one arm tucked beneath one of the pillows behind your head and the other was being used as Miranda's pillow for most of the night. As always.

Like herself, you were bare as the day you were born...your entire torso shamelessly revealed for her roaming insatiable eyes...and she smirked when a particularly cool breeze swept through the room. She watched the goosebumps rise under your exposed skin, including your nipples making Miranda hum softly.

“ Y-your majesty?”

Miranda, suddenly remembering just what, or rather who, had bothered her before and looked towards the girl, pleased when she saw that her eyes were on the floor.

“ Everything is more than alright, girl, however you may leave... I'll be out shortly.”

A hand curling around her waist brought Miranda's gaze from the closing double doors where the meek girl disappeared through and back to you. Your eyes were still closed but you were starting to wake up, stretching like a feline and again Miranda's eyes were drawn to your chest.

“ Carved by the Gods,” she mumbled, the tips of her nails tracing your firm abdomen with no particular pattern, simply enjoying the light marks she was leaving behind around your belly button, knowing how much you enjoyed when she did that as well.

You saw the thoughtful look on Miranda's face when you opened your eyes but you couldn't stop the giant yawn from escaping, “Morning,”

Miranda smiled down at you, enjoying the way the sun made your skin glow but you weren't fooled by that smile—you were used to Miranda's smiles and this was one of her worries. The sort of smile where she wanted to reassure you while scolding you at the same time. You pulled away slightly, and sat up a bit so you could give her your full attention. When the monarch remained silent, simply staring at you, all you could do was raise an eyebrow...waiting.

Miranda scoffed at the action, shaking her head, “It's ironic isn't it, how we the others tales...but we do not truly know each other, do we?”

You shrugged, smirking at her—refusing to hint at the nerves beginning to crawl up your spine, “Pretty sure we know each other inside and out, your highness.”

Miranda gave you a look, clearly unimpressed, “Yes, beneath that charm and nonchalance...is something quite fascinating, isn't there? And...it seems that your truth only comes to light during battle.”

“ Pardon?” you sat up a little more now, eyebrows furrowed—unsure where Miranda was going with this but you no doubt that it probably wasn't going to be good for you. Especially since you're naked and vulnerable but not defenseless.

“ Captain Ake came to me last night after I left you to your bath, he seemed quite concerned with something...and quite frankly, I'm curious myself.” Miranda's hand had stopped tracing patterns on your stomach, but her hand still lingered...and the moment her index finger traced over the raised skin right next to your belly button, the brand new one, you knew you fucked up.

“ About what?” You mumbled not daring to look down at her hand, and her eyes burned into yours—playing dumb would only get you so far—probably the dungeons if you were lucky. You knew exactly what Ake was concerned with though you weren't sure if he actually saw you take a sword through your gut as it was so dark and everything happened within a blink or two.

“ What I am going to say next may sound crazy, however, Captain Ake is one of my most loyal subject in this castle, and quite sane...he claims to have witnessed you being impaled,” Miranda exhaled slowly, “By the enemy...and somehow managed to walk away from it, unharmed. Would you mind telling me what happened, my dear?”

You stared at her for a second, “And...you believed him? Could I have really been stabbed by a sword and do what I did last night? Do you know how insane you sound?”

“ Watch your tongue! You're still addressing your Queen, warrior.”

“ I'm sorry, but you seriously don't believe that shit do you?”

“ I've been noticing a few things myself, (Y/n)...and I would really like some answers myself.”

“ Right. I'll take that as my signal to leave, your majesty. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night.”

Miranda's eyes narrowed slightly, reaching out to grab your wrist to prevent you from running from her, “(Y/n), do not run from me...I'm only trying to understand! You can trust me, this I promise you, I'm not going to hurt you.”

You wanted to believe her, but you had to learn the hard way that trust was nothing but a word—a word that can be broken over and over. You were too stupid to learn in the past but you weren't about to do the same thing now. Pushing the covers aside you threw some mundane excuse over your shoulder but before you could actually get to the edge of the bed, you were pulled back and pushed back into your previous position. It didn't actually hurt but it wasn't gentle either but you were pretty sure that it was Miranda that moved you, but you hadn't actually felt or seen her move a muscle.

“ W...how? Miranda?!”

Miranda smiled shyly at your bewildered expression—a very rare expression from the Queen but like yourself, she was feeling quite vulnerable, “You're not alone, (Y/n)...and neither am I.”

“ Neither....are you?” Miranda chuckled at your expression and your inability to put two and two together. When you tried to sit back up, Miranda's shy smile morphed into something more amused and predatory because you realized that you couldn't move—and Miranda still hadn't moved an inch.

“ Ah, now do I have your full attention?”

The closer you got to Miranda's home the more treacherous the path became and you'd lost sight of the woman flying low above the trees ten minutes ago—or what you thought to be ten minutes, you weren't sure. Your eyes were glued to the ground, keeping a firm but relaxed grip on the reign of your stallion, Bruce, whispering gently to him. Alcina called him a gentle giant and she wasn't exaggerating. The path was narrow and very unkempt but you wouldn't expect Miranda to make things easy, especially access to her private home.

There was a point that you weren't even sure you and Bruce were actually going to make it across but there was no way you could've turned the massive horse around either, forward was the only way and you weren't ashamed to admit that your heart was pounding hard enough to crack bones. The moment you cleared the trees, Miranda's home finally came into view—and you were not disappointed. It was a simple two story cabin practically etched into the mountain and you wanted to know how the hell she managed to get this place on the sliver of rock.

You'd brought Bruce to a stop just as Miranda appeared and landed gracefully on her porch even with her heels on (you caught a glimpse of them earlier when she started flying). From her porch alone, Miranda had a perfect view of everything . The village, the manor sitting on the waterfall, the factory and of course the castle. There was a light blanket of fog obscuring most of the view, but it was still breathtaking all the same.

You dismounted Bruce easily, gently guiding him to the post next to Miranda's porch. You fed him a few sugar cubes, gingerly untangling part of his dark mane and pulling free a few twigs and leaves.

“Further up the path I have there's a stable for him, we can take him later.”

You turned to look at Miranda, finding her standing in the door looking at you, her expression unreadable and you were too tired to try and decipher it. You double checked the post before steeling your nerves and joining her on her porch, it was roomier than it actually looked and you spotted a hammock on the other corner—not the usual netted sort, it looked like a quilt and quite comfortable too.

You followed Miranda inside, shutting out the cold—the interior of Miranda's home had you stock still at the front door with your hand still on the door knob. The space was open, having the living room and the eating area open with no barrier, and you could easily see the kitchen from where you stood. It was...cozy and warm.

“Surprised?” Miranda's voice brought your eyes to where she was, now half way up the stairs behind the kitchen wall, she wore a soft smile, the front of her robes already opened (you didn't even realize the fucking thing even had a zipper), revealing the slacks and blouse she wore underneath, “Did you expect me to live in a cave?”

“I expected you to at least have a TV.”

Miranda smirked but it didn't reach her eyes, “Are you going to stand there bitching about the lack of media corruption or do you want that shower?”

Your hand finally relaxed off of the door knob, the light throbbing resulting in just how hard you were holding the poor thing. You kicked off your boots at the door—they were covered in mud, snow and probably horse shit at some point, they were filthy. And the last thing you wanted to do was dirty up Miranda's wood floors.

She waited until you were on the stairs to continue up herself while slipping her robe from her shoulders and casually throwing it over her arm as if it were just a towel. “There are only three rooms on this floor. My own, the guest room and the bathroom.”

You raised an eyebrow, “One bathroom?”

“I don't exactly keep guests, dear.”

“So then why the extra bedroom?” you were being a shit, you knew it, but you couldn't help it—Miranda made it easy for you to tease her sometimes (all the time). You wanted to be more bothered over how easy it was for you to fall back into old habits with this woman.

“The longer you stand there being an idiot, the colder your water gets.”

You raised your hands slightly, moving past her towards the door she pointed to, flipping on the light—it was roomier than you expected it to be, dark and a bit modern but Miranda somehow still managed to keep it grand and medieval. The floor was made of stone, there was a grand shower with a curved glass door and next to it was a bear claw of a tub, melded into the floor like it was a hot spring. Across the floor was a single sink and a mirror, and next to it a door where you assumed you'd find the towels and toiletries. Just past the tub, was the toilet though there was a half wall there to offer some privacy and you spotted your backpack sitting on top of it neatly and that finally gave you pause.

“Figured you didn't want to walk around naked or wearing any of my clothes.”

You hadn't even noticed that you had actually walked into the bathroom, admiring it's simple yet beautiful décor or that Miranda followed you in until the shower sprung to life next to you.

She smiled at you apologetically, not having meant to startle you—but seeing you so easily bothered helped put her at ease. Miranda was good at hiding it, but she was quite nervous. Having you so near and so far from her at the same time in the comfort of her own home, her sanctuary—none of the other Lord's knew where she lived, they probably thought she lived in a cave or a nest or something. You were Miranda's first house guest since she arrived in this village.

She closed the shower door, watching you open your backpack—checking through it, and she couldn't stop the small smile from forming after you smirked, realizing that you were still without your weapons. But you didn't make a comment on it, instead beginning to pull out the things that you needed—until you realized that she was still in the room as well.

You raised an eyebrow at Miranda, and her smile only grew but the blonde simply shrugged her wings and tucked her wings tighter to her back as she exited the room, “I'll be downstairs when you're finished...”

“Miranda—”

She paused and you froze, fuck, why did you do that? You hadn't meant to call out to her, but your mouth was faster than your brain sometimes and now she was looking at you expectantly and all you could do was stare at her like a jackass. There was so much, too much, that you wanted to say but where could you even start? Why were you getting this courage in the fucking bathroom of all places?

“Downstairs.” She reminded you gently when the silence stretched too long—you had panicked and she saw that, and instead of jumping on you like the predator you knew that she was fully capable of being—she left you alone to your thoughts and the hot water steaming the room, calling your name. It was a welcome distraction even if it wouldn't be a forever one.

“Being immortal really is overrated.”

Miranda didn't go downstairs immediately, instead making a beeline for her bedroom and closed the door behind her but left it ajar enough for her to still hear you in the bathroom. Miranda carefully hung up her 'Mother Miranda' robe and began stripping out of the clothes she's been wearing for the past two days along with her rings; finally taking off the crown of Mother and just becoming Miranda with every stitch of clothing she removed from her flawless skin.

Standing naked in front of her full-length mirror, Miranda whispered a delicate but very familiar spell she's known since she was a small child and she winced quietly as her wings folded back into her body for the next six or seven hours. The spell wasn't forever but Miranda often used it when she was home to avoid breaking her things as she often did if she let her wings remain as they were, they often got restless if she stayed home and still too long so she just opted for putting them away to save herself the trouble. And money.

When the last two smaller ones on her lower back finally retreated into her skin, Miranda rolled her shoulders to pop out the kinks. She got dressed in a pair of washed out pants and a v-neck shirt, and at the last minute Miranda threw on her dark wool cardigan before heading back downstairs but not before pausing outside of the bathroom door. She heard you humming over the shower and though she didn't recognize the song, it still made her smile.

Suddenly feeling like a creeper, Miranda moved away from the door and went downstairs to start on the coffee she was craving earlier. She got her fireplace going but that all took less than ten minutes and now she found herself back in her kitchen, pulling ingredients from her refrigerator to give her something to do besides fret.

“ You shouldn't be so comfortable with your champion, in public.” Fritjof complained for the thousandth time in her ear—he was one of her primary advisors, having been employed by her late husband, the former King. He was always a bit of an annoyance, but he often proved himself useful and unwittingly saved his own life time to time from Miranda's ire.

“ I was only congratulating her on another victorious raid on a neighboring kingdom that thought it wise to steal from us, or have you forgotten that little fact, Fritjof?”

He frowned, not liking her tone but he quickly corrected his features knowing that they were still in the halls on their way to the Queen's study, but there were still eyes on them, “I...yes, but it sends the wrong message when you send a blood wolf to handle this kingdoms affairs instead of your loyal officers! You make us all look weak!”

Miranda stopped walking, and whirled around on Fritjof, her coat wrapping around her leather clad legs as she did so, and the frail man jumped back a step, knowing that he overstepped a line severely, “A-apologies—”

“ You will apologize with your tongue!” Miranda hissed, “Though I'm sure (Y/n) would rather have your head for all the times you've questioned her loyalty to this kingdom! We're coming up on eight years, Fritjof, and (Y/n) has helped this kingdom prosper more than you ever could've in your twenty years with my late husband.” Miranda sneered dangerously, edging closer to him and the terrified man could only back up into the table, knocking over a vase but Miranda paid it no mind, “One more word about this and I will have you removed. Permanently.”

Fritjof swallowed harshly, beads of sweat forming at his hairline and rolling down his face, and Miranda's sneer deepened in disgust, “Please, your highness, I'm only looking out for the future of the kingdom! It—it needs an heir and a King! The other kingdoms will never recognize your power without either—” his words were cut off when Miranda struck him down, a single line of blood staining a portrait on the wall behind him. Miranda struck faster than he could react and Fritjof cried out in pain, alerting the guards who came running but stopped when they saw their Sovereign standing over the slimy advisor holding part of his face, blood starting to seep through his fingers.

“ For every brilliant woman, there's always a stupid man thing to be found.” Miranda stepped over his pathetic body and continued on her way, rolling her shoulders back when her back began to twinge in response to her high and irritated emotions, and she needed release. “Get him out of my sight and find my champion; send her to me when you do.”

“ Yes, my Queen.” They both replied, one of them roughly hauling Fritjof to his feet and pushing him forward, but not before the man could cast one last glance at Miranda's retreating back until he was shoved forward. “Move!”

The cabin was filled with the aroma of sweet bread and coffee and your stomach was growling something vicious halfway down the stairs after you put your back in the guest room. Miranda had her back to you and you took the moment to stop at the bottom of the stairs to just observe her. The very first thing you noticed was that her wings were gone and she was more relaxed—it probably had a lot to do with her being in her own home, and it was starting to make more sense why she wanted to be in the comfort of her own home for this conversation. Though her argument for privacy was valid as well.

Your eyes flickered around the open space, spotting something tucked in the corner of the living room and scoffed without meaning to and alerting Miranda of your presence, if she wasn't already. She turned from her task of fixing you both something to eat to watch you walk across the room to where the object of your interest lay with a carefully crafted expression.

“Didn't take you for owning a rifle.”

“It's ten years old, I believe.” Miranda hummed quietly, dusting off her hands before taking down a couple of plates from the cabinet above the stove. You looked at her when she didn't elaborate, really curious now.

“It's in pretty good condition, really beautiful...where did you get it?” you checked the clip and saw that there were exactly ten rounds in there. When Miranda didn't answer you immediately, you found her watching you.

“It's not mine.” Miranda set the plates at the small eating table that could easily seat two other people, “I took it from a witch hunter as he was so kind to come all this way to visit. He tried to kill me in my sleep like a coward. He intrudes upon my home and couldn't be bothered to give me an honorable death. The audacity of men certainly hasn't changed over the years.”

Her tone was not lost on you and you knew that the witch hunter was long dead. You traced the steel design grip, impressed at the detail—and distracted.

“Oh, so now you hate men?” Ah... and once again your mouth was faster than your brain could process, and just like that her eyes were on your back—you felt it.

“I've always hated men, (Y/n). I...” she sighed harshly, her eyes turning into a glare, “Stop doing that, you don't have the entire story so if you're done being an ass and running from this conversation—I would really like to clear the air between us so we can move on from this.”

“You mean your truth that you want me to hear so badly?” You chuckled though it lacked any amusement. You set the rifle down, finally giving her your full attention then sighed heavily—a sudden exhaustion falling over you, “Would it really matter at this point, Miranda? It happened centuries ago...we both moved on, why do you want to drudge this back up?”

“Why don't you?” Miranda moved around the table, the coffee and snack forgotten in the moment, but she didn't try to approach you, “I'm not the only one who was in the wrong, (Y/n).”

“Do you think I cared about your status when I found out the woman I loved married a man behind my back and didn't even fucking tell me! I had to find out in the middle of that stupid ball you wanted to throw so bad after we invaded those rebellion villages. I gave you everything and you betrayed me . I crossed lines for you, Miranda. I thought that would warrant enough decency to be honest with me. I-”

You stopped, your face was hot and you exhaled heavily—doing your best not to sniffle, you hated that you were the type to fucking cry when your emotions bubbled to the surface too fast. Especially when the topic is something you've buried long deep in the dark corners of your mind with no hope for daylight again. You just never thought you'd bump into your past like this. And it's been years since you've had to deal with anything on a personal level after your last child passed away fifty years ago at the tender age of eighty-six.

Miranda saw the emotions playing across your face with a frown but otherwise her own emotions were carefully hidden, she was always better at that than you were, and inched closer, “(Y/n)...”

“We've both obviously lived with this hurt and came out fine,” you cut her off, not looking at her but instead at your bare toes with your hands back in your pockets, “What's closure gonna do besides bring up old hurt?”

“No, that's not it at all, I just...” Miranda coughed lightly and cleared her throat,—your question was valid as she's asked herself this many times before, asking herself why she didn't just let you go in the forest—she could've let you go and saved you both from this reopened wound. But she didn't because she couldn't and Miranda wouldn't apologize for it. Because she's always been a selfish woman, and one of her most selfish needs—even when she first laid eyes on you—she knew that you were hers. That never changed, time could never take that away from her.

“This life is long and lonely, (Y/n)...and I've made many mistakes, most I will never have a chance to atone for...and when I saw you,” Miranda looked into your eyes and bit her bottom lip, you weren't even looking at her anymore, “I've lost so much in this life, and I refused to lose you a second time. The first time I was...I was corrupted with greed and power, but I was stupid and it cost me everything too, (Y/n).”

You looked up, surprised by her words, “He took your kingdom from you, didn't he?”

“ You!” Miranda moved closer, though you hardly noticed because you were focused on her eyes that were duller than they were down in the village but just as clear, bright and brimming with tears, “He took you from me. He took us away from each other, (Y/n). I'm not innocent in it either, I...I could've done something about it, but I didn't and it was the biggest mistake I could've made in my entire existence. And I think about it more than I care to admit, I think about you...wondering what sort of life we could've shared together had I made better choices. I'm...I'm sorry, (Y/n).”

Miranda was close enough to touch you now, and this time she didn't hesitate nor did you pull away when both of her hands cupped your cheeks, making you shiver. “Miranda...”

Miranda's hands tightened on your face, obviously thinking you were about to argue again but you were tired of arguing with her, over this...before she could speak, you took Miranda by surprise and pulled her into a tight embrace, both of your arms around her waist and you caught her when her entire body sagged in your arms. You had no idea what was going to happen after this, but that little piece of you that longed for the closure you never got...began to grow.

“I'll stay.”

#resident evil miranda x reader #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #mother miranda x reader #mother miranda #assassins creed odyssey

82 notes · View notes

ginkgomoon · 3 years

Text

Lucien's Iridescent- Analysis

Finally, some more Lucien-based content! I'm so sorry for the wait, Lucien stans! If you’re out there please let me know so I can say hello to you individually and ask questions about your fav!! I want to interact with the community more so I can expand my knowledge and perception on the different characters and aspects of the game. I’d honestly love to have a chat about MLQC anytime! I didn’t expect to be posting this today because this is one is a freshie! (Started working on it today, and posted up today, unlike the other hundred that I have drafted...) Lots of spoilers for the character of Lucien and for future content. Please do not read if you don’t want spoilers! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!! 🌈 💜

Iridescent definition-

“Showing luminous colours that seem to change when seen from different angles.”

Origins

The pen is originally brought over from England, where Lucien was studying when he was younger. It actually belonged to a Granny before Lucien, and she told him, "give this luck to the special someone when you meet her."

Lucien didn't really care for the pen that much other than that, though.

"Although I had always felt that he was not gentle with me, this time I knew he did care for me. My joy didn't last for more than ten seconds, when my owner took me back and gave me a faint glance, and then gave his full attention the girl."

Also, it's tiny bit ironic about how Lucien can't see colour and names the pen "Iridescent".

"A rainbow! It's my favourite scene- that's where my name came from. But my owner can't see the rainbow. he doesn't know how to appreciate these colours." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

Iridescent and MC

“This is for you."

A silvery- white steel pen glinted in the sunlight with an "X" etched prominently into its surface. (The "X" refers to his Chinese name, "Xu mo")

MC: "Isn't this the pen you left in the set the first time you were on the show?"

"Yes, at the time I rushed back to the set. Everyone had left but one girl was still foolishly sitting there, just to give me this pen. For the first time I thought, compared to my own actions of running back there, she didn't seem that foolish at all."

His lips curved up in a smile, and his eyes softened.

"It wasn't foolish. I was slower than you, but afterwards, I saw."

I didn't understand what he meant. I tilted my head and looked at Lucien. His eyes were streaked with shadow and light by the sunshine.

MC: "Why are you giving me the pen?"

"The pen has a name. It's called Iridescent. It's a lucky charm that's been with me for many years. Now, this luck belongs to you."

Lucien opened my hand and placed the pen in it, then closed my hand back over it with an assertive force.

"It's just a pen. Take it."

Lucien turned his head and looked at me, the sunlight glistening on his lips, clear and warm. -Chapter 13-10

Lucien gave a lot of thought into giving MC the pen.

"He had been staring at me for so long his gaze almost penetrated me! My owner had always been very decisive and unwavering, but this time, I could feel his hesitation. What was it for?"

But why?

"At the moment I was a little dizzy, and thought, am I now a "love token"?" -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

I would argue multiple reasons actually. Firstly, as Iridescent itself stated, it was used as a "love exchange"- a silent confession that he loves her. He uses this pen for his work, and since this "work" was focused on the QUEEN and BLACK SWAN, it was almost like a declaration that what Lucien had owned- what Ares will soon gain, that no matter what, both personas would be by her side.

He knows that she's always in danger, from others and from himself, so he silently hopes that this pen in becoming that "lucky charm" would also help her so that she wouldn't really get caught and tied up in BLACK SWAN business.

It serves as a reminder for himself too, that a part of him will always be kept close to her. And like how its name is Iridescent, that aspect of him that can see colour is being surrendered back to her, because only with MC, can Lucien finally witness colours of the rainbow.

But of course, like all rainbows, they don't last forever, and MC uses this pen- in the name of colour- his weaknesses and the symbolism and connection of their relationship- against him.

MC: “Why?”

“I warned you before. You still had time to run too bad, you had no awareness of danger. Or one could say, you trusted me too much.”

He spoke in a tone that was provocative and mocking.

With ease, he ripped open a scar that hadn’t fully healed, and my tears came pouring out.

I don’t know why, but in that instant, I seemed to see a flash of sorrow in his eyes. But in less than half a second, he had resumed his composure. Then he pursed his lips and made a faint smile.

Thick blackness surrounded him. Even the brightest of setting suns couldn’t reach him.

But I still hoped that the hint of sorrow I caught was real. I hoped that he was still the way he used to pretend to be. But then why did his eyes seem so sincere?

Even now, I wasn’t willing to completely believe. My heart told me that it wasn’t lies.

Helping me save my final show was real. Rescuing me from danger was real. Every bit of encouragement and help was all real.

If all of that was real, how could the person in front of me now be fake?

I strained to find in his eyes any sign of pain, struggle, even a moment’s hesitation. But there was none.

There was nothing at all. We were like two strangers.

“Ares, what are you waiting for?”

I don’t know where my strength came from, but in an instant, I held something sharp to my neck. I tremblingly held the pen, sensing the bitter taste in my throat.

Seeing my action, everyone froze.

How ironic! He clearly gave it to me as a gift, and now it was carrying out its mission like this.

“You won’t do it.”

My neck was in terrible pain, and half my body was going numb.

I didn’t even realise that a trickle of blood was streaming down my neck. We stood there, neither of us was moving.

“Don’t do anything foolish.”

You’re right, I am too foolish. When I was at my lowest, he held out a hand of friendship to me and I took it in with full trust.

And now here he was again, saying that same voice I was so familiar with, that was all a trap.

He stood there, aloof and cold, with all those emotions swirling in his eyes that I never understood before. Now I final understand. It was the thrill of laying a trap and the joy of watching your prey take the bait.

MC: “Let me go.”

“You think you can negotiate with me?”

MC: “You still owe me a thank you gift.”

A tear rolled down my face silently. (This line killed me.)

He smiled mockingly.

“I can let you go, but next time, you won’t get such an opportunity. Don’t let me catch you next time.” (In other words he means, "pen you did well, now she can escape.")

MC: “Next time I won’t trust you, Ares. I will never trust you again. Because you aren’t Lucien. He would never harm me. They have nothing to do with each other!”

He turned but said nothing. That was the last time I saw a gentle look in his eye. Then he looked up at the sky as his whole body emerged into the shadows, and he continued onwards.

The pen fell from my hand onto the ground. The “X” etched onto it gleaming, seemingly telling me a story. -Chapter 13-19

"I saw the pain in my owners eyes and felt the trembling of the girl's right hand passing through me... grasping me as she left, she could not control her shaking body. She seemed to be holding onto me with all her strength, as if I was her only support.

I was accidentally dropped to the ground and rolling into the dust. but the girl didn't seem to notice, as she was in a trance looking up at the kites in the sky. But the girl crouched down to pick me up and gently wiped the dust off of me. Everyday at nightfall, I knew how much pain she endured and how much she cried in her sleep. I thought she would abandon me, but she did not... -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

n a way, it's also a silent promise, or a reason for him to keep returning to her. The tie that she always clutches secretly in her pocket that she, too, still cares for him and still thinks of him. MC still evens put the effort in the take care of Iridescent, making sure it doesn't get lost or broken. This is similar to how the ginkgo bracelet is a form of support from Gavin to MC.

As I put away my camera, I again reflexively felt around inside-

MC: “Oh no!”

A ball of sweat fell from my forehead. Where was that pen!?

A single possibility suddenly presented itself to me- but another thought immediately supplanted it-

MC: “It’s his anyway. The staff will give it back to him…”

Having confidently convinced myself with that reasoning, I left.

See how they're back to how they were from the beginning- where she was starting to get to know “Lucien”, but now she’s starting to view him as “Ares”. The two personas correlating to this one pen.

I banged my head on the table. I clutched my head in pain, and the metal pen rolled away, stopping before a pair of black shoes. Then I saw a slender hand daintily pick it up.

“You came back to find this?”

He looked at me with a playful look on his face. He raised his eyebrows and held the pen in front.

“Don’t lose it again.”

I reached out for it, but that sunny late spring day suddenly flashed before my eyes, and I started to regain my posture. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back for it.

MC: “Never mind, I’m always losing things. And it doesn’t belong to me anyway. At this point, it should go back to its original owner.”

He slowly and deliberately put the pen away, then gave as light nod. -Chapter 16-11

"With determination, the girl gave me back to my owner. The moment he took me, the last thread linking them together seemed to have broken. My owner withdraw his gaze from her and after a long time he said softly, "my little fool". The words sounded unfinished, with untold tenderness hidden behind them. But in my opinion, should the fool refer to my intelligent owner himself?

I couldn't help but think, did my owner lose his colours? Or will he find them again, someday? Because, those who have seen the rich colours of the rainbow, would not be reconciled with grey again." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

But in the end, the pen was returned back to MC.

Lucien carefully took out the pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl's hand. The he leaned over and whispered into her ear-

"Next time, don't rush into danger by yourself. Especially on my account." -Chapter 16-22

Like how Lucien would always come back to her- Ares or not, because those are his true colours- that Lucien, like how he’s also “iridescent”, would show all sides of him to her, and that he would love MC no matter which side he's on.

#I CAN EAT DINNER NOW #literally typed out the whole of chapter 13 #proud of myself #恋与制作人 #love and producer #mlqc #mr love queens choice #mlqc translation #mlqc analysis #mlqc cn #mlqc en #mlqc Lucien #mlqc xumo #xu mo #Lucien #mlqc spoilers

43 notes · View notes

meg-noel-art · 4 years

Note

Why do you believe that Catra never got over her what you called "obsessive and selfish love" for Adora? Because I didn't see that.

-gestures vaguely to all of the show-

Okay, you know what, let’s get into this. Because I’m honestly tired of it all. First let’s start with this: In popular media, is there a common theme of erotic subtext between rivals? Uh, yeah. Hell yeah. Tension between two people looking to one up each other that can be read as romantic or sexual? Oh absolutely. So, let’s, for the sake of argument assume that was the type of dynamic that Noelle and Co. were going for all along, as they’ve stated. Because they weren’t the first to play with this dynamic and they won’t the last.

So again, tension and subtext between rivals that escalates into passion or eventually real love? Yes.

On the other hand: betrayal, emotional manipulation, physical maiming and injury and outright seeking the utter demise and failure of you ‘rival’ because they made you sad by making a better choice than you did? That doesn’t equate to love.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s approach Catra’s motivations as all based around this deep love she has for Adora, which I will argue through this post is more of as passionate and selfish obsession than actual love. (And honestly, that’s a super cool character motivation, but pretending that it’s an epic love story is gross and I hate it.)

So, let’s return to Season 1

One of the first real battles we see Catra and Adora in takes place at the end of the season. This comes after ‘The Promise’ wherein Adora tries again to get Catra to come with her, but Catra doubles down on her desire to spite Adora for hurting her and leaving her, by being as nasty as she possibly can and putting Adora in just as much emotional pain. Here, she not only fights Adora, but cuts her down to her deepest insecurities. Catra knows Adora and she knows how desperately she wants to be a hero. It’s an aspect of Adora that Catra has always disliked because it made her feel lesser. In order to fully cripple her rival here, Catra tugs at the strings she knows will hurt the most.

“You will fail them (you failed me)”, “You’re friends will hate you (Just like I do)” “You will never be the hero you want to be (I will be the reason you can’t)”. If you want to talk about subtext in this scene, Catra’s unhealthy and obsessive desire to be the only thing Adora needs/wants/thinks about is literally all over the place. If you want to argue that she’s saying all of this because she’s hurting, then it’s literally the cruelest possible way she could say it. And the show doesn’t bother selling us on the fact that Catra is in pain here, it just hammers home the idea of how badly she wants Adora to fail so she can feel that pain too.

In no universe, would I call that treatment of someone love.

Next up, this moment in Season 2:

I remember everyone losing their minds over this scene, and again, arguing a sexual tension between rivals, then yes, that makes sense. But in the context of this entire episode and the ones leading up to this point? This statement from Catra is disgusting. And it gets worse.

In the next scene, we see Catra literally planning to use Adora as her own personal weapon (an aspect I find personally icky when considering the struggle Adora has with destiny/her own autonomy at the end of Season 4 being use by Light Hope as a weapon. Catra literally has the same idea.)

And moreso than that, Catra won’t just use her as a weapon. She will use Adora to cut down anyone else who has ever cared about her or shown her affection. It’s a new level of jealousy/possession that is touched on even moreso as the series goes on. But what’s crazy to me is that it seems to have developed from Season 1. In the Battle of Bright Moon, Adora could only fail them. Now, however much later this is, Catra wants her to hurt them too. Adora will hurt, her friends will hurt. Everyone will hurt like Catra does. Because she’s possessive of Adora’s affection. It makes her feel like she has meaning. Which is an entire other can of worms about Catra’s motivations and character, but we’re gonna move ahead to season 3.

This is a fascinating moment to me. At this point, Catra has essentially flunked out of the Horde, but she’s NEVER been more determined to prove herself to Hordak, to SW, to Adora, to everyone. But here, Scorpia points out how truly happy she is when Adora isn’t even in the damn picture anymore. The poisonous environment of the Horde is gone, Catra is claiming respect for her abilities and personality. Adora has nothing to do with it and she’s happy.

And then:

Look, I am remise to sound like a total asshole, but the entire show is pointing this out for me through even it’s dialogue. Catra’s pain and hate and obsession returns when Adora mentions that their shared abuser Shadow Weaver has chosen her yet again. Suddenly, nothing matters. None of Scorpia’s kind words, or the achievments she made in the Waste. All that matters, is beating Adora. Hurting her. Being better and more loved than her.

Honesty, at this point I’m losing the thread of ‘love’ entirely. Now it just feels like a total mission for vengeance. But, once again, okay, let’s argue she’s really just angry and wants Adora’s love back. So what does she do to get it?

She opens the Portal to hurt Adora. As Adora screams don’t, begs her not to, tells her what it will do to their world, Catra does it anyway. Because Adora must hurt. She broke Catra’s heart and Catra must break it back. That’s how love works, I guess.

Once again, if the show was working on selling me on Catra’s motivations being sympathetic and fueled by love all along. It is failing.

Now, let’s talk about the Portal world that it takes them into. What everyone called their “perfect universe”.

So we have this moment, where Adora gets to the heart of the issue and asks Catra about her real pain. Catra avoids it, once again. Yes, of course she’s wanted this, they both always have. I suppose at this moment you could argue her true motivations come through, but it also just emboldens my point that Catra is not growing. She’s not gaining any character development. If she did just always want Adora by her side, this scene shows us that Adora has moved past these Horde induced childhood dreams they have. She has seen a bigger world and a bigger issue and Catra is still holding onto the hope that they will keep this promise to always have each others backs.

Which, is an ironic thing to hold onto considering Catra was the first to break this promise, by not going with Adora when the time was right. And yet she believes Adora is the one who owes her the apology. Now, this would be great set up for an arc about Catra coming to terms with the fact that she is the problem and Season 4 seemed ready to set that up but then... didn’t.

This line in particular has always stuck with me because it broke their relationship entirely for me. At this point, Catra could apologize all she wanted in a possible redemption arc, but the damage was done. She admitted a pain so deep that it would change her and Adora’s relationship forever. Her hurt ran so deep that she would rather die, see everything end, than see Adora find happiness outside of her.

I could stop this post here and honestly, my point would have been made. But we’ve got more to go.

I was so excited after the moment. After an entire season of snapping under the weight of her own choices. It is the image of Scorpia, who loved her unconditionally, who tells Catra that she is the problem and she always has been.

At this point, I was ready. Catra had hit rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up. She would approach her pain and figure out who she wanted to be as a person. She would team up with the Rebellion because she knew it was the right thing to do, she would atone for her mistakes. By the end maybe she would go on her own adventure to find herself?

And.... No?

She doesn’t.

Season 5 rolls around and suddenly she is right back where she started, scrambling up the ladder for power and respect. It sure doesn’t work for Horde Prime, putting her in real danger. She even gets a few moments to connect with Glimmer (maybe apologize for the Portal...no... oh okay.)

In fact, she saves Glimmer! But.... why does she do it? Certainly not for Glimmer’s sake, a character who has been stated by the crew to be literally her narrative foil, her other half. But...

Like...? At this point I don’t even know what the show is going for anymore, it’s a fucking mess. You could even argue that up to this point, Catra HAS been manipulating Glimmer to trust her so that she could in turn save Adora. Which is all kinds of fucked up, as we see in the conversation with the BFS squad that Glimmer WANTS to save Catra, and trusts her.

And then this memory that incited Catra’s desire to save Adora was:

I could have just answered with this screenshot and saved myself an hour. You wanna argue love? Fine.

Then Catra has NEVER let go of her frankly concerning obsession with Adora’s attention and affection and that is no more clear that this memory where she also physically assaults her and steps on her, and Adora goes crawling after her trying to comfort her.

Oh? Are you, Catra? Well that’s cool. You are allowed to be sorry. But that doesn’t mean Adora owes you literally anything at this point. No one is ever obligated to accept any apology no matter how heartfelt it might be.

At the end of the day, this love story their trying to sell me on is so twisted I can hardly stand to watch the final season. Because it’s never worked out!! Adora immediatedly forgives every moment I’ve listed in this post and more. Catra never apologizes to someone who deserved it most, Scorpia.

And more than that, Catra never grows into who she should have become as a character. She is stuffed into an OTP the show wanted from the beginning but failed for 5 seasons to make convincing or compelling.

Also Adora has such a huge heart she deserves someone who would treat her better than Catra could. Catra can’t. Catra can’t even treat herself right.

Like... Yeah. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Hope this answered your question.

Obsessive, possessive....Gross. I’m tired. C/A won at the end of the day I guess, but at what cost?

421 notes · View notes

richkidznation · 4 years

Text

Title- Uh, oh. Sinopse- Bolt should've been more careful Genre- angst and a bit of fluff at the end??? Characters- Bolt, Dani, Wasabi, their parents, manager, and Queenie (Daichi) from @infntyroyal Warning(s)- Fainting, swearing, they go to the hospital, Bolt has to take care of his health better oof- don’t do what he did pls akhfds Note- “Italics are for Korean, normal text is for Portuguese!” - Long post ahead this bitch HUGE- anwyays enjoy!! ^^ // Set in 2016, explanation of my last post!

Bolt was stupid, no one could deny that, not even himself.

But today, he broke his record of stupidity.

The boys all trained for their debut, everyone had been practicing for weeks now. Like usual, they'd just finished rehearsing the choreography when Bolt asked to sit down for a moment.

"... You okay?" Wasabi kneeled in front of him, shaking his hand in front of his face and got no reaction. Bolt just stared blankly in front of him.

Truth is, maybe he didn't sleep well, or didn't eat well, or didn't care about himself at all these days, or weeks, he wasn’t sure anymore. He thought he could pull an all-night here and there and maybe, just maybe, he went too far. But now wasn't the time to rest and sleep, he couldn't leave his brothers alone to take a nap or have a snack, right?

"I'm fine, let's keep going." He stood up, staying still for a few seconds, he felt dizzy, but quickly dismissed it. "Just one more, yeah?" He looked at Dani, who nodded. "Then we'll have lunch." The elder explained before turning the music back on, they got in place and came back to dancing.

But somewhere while dancing, maybe he moved his head too fast, maybe it was the twist, or jumping, he didn't quite remember. All he knows is that everything went black suddenly, he felt his body shut down and fall on the ground and the last thing he heard was both the other boys calling for his name.

Once he regained consciousness, the first thing we saw was Dani's face close to his, Wasabi, and their manager shaking fans at him to help him breathe. He was dizzy and disoriented. "What's happening? Why is our manager here?" Bolt asked groggily, Dani sighed, relieved he had woken up.

"We're taking you to the hospital, dude, you blacked out." Dani took a streak of his hair out of his face, holding it back to his hair wouldn't be in the way, Bolt felt a streak of sweat fall through his face. "You just fell in the middle of the song." He seemed worried, his face sweaty as well, not only from the practice.

"I already messaged our parents," Wasabi warned, blowing gently on Bolt's face, "they want to talk to you once you're feeling better."

Bolt was about to say something when a staff person entered the practice room, everyone turned to face them and they announced, "The car is ready, do you need help with him?" They asked, both the manager and Bolt's brothers nodded as they all gathered to carefully take him out of the building, his arms wrapped around both his brothers’ shoulders as the manager walked next to them, ready to catch him in case he fell. He complained that he could walk by himself and ended up almost falling once he tried many times until he finally gave up.

They all sat in the car, the manager driving it as the three boys were on the backseat, the other two doing their bests to make Bolt more comfortable as he fell asleep and woke up multiple times. "I'm alright, I can keep going, I'm not fucking dead." He complained, already annoyed.

"You keep passing out, dumbass," Dani said, looking out the window to notice they were close to the hospital. "What the fuck did you do? Huh?" He turned back to face the youngest, who just sighed. "Tell me, did you drink? Did drugs? What the fuck, dude?" Bolt whined in response.

"No, I didn't… Why would I- You know what? Turn around, I don't need to go to the hospital."

"Yes, you do." Bolt scoffed at Dani's answer, "Why?" Dani replied harshly, "Because I fucking told you so, Renan. Now shut up." Dani looked out the window, still holding Bolt's hair back, an awkward silence kept going in the car until they arrived at the hospital, Bolt felt a streak of sweat run down his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's nothing too bad, he just needs to rest. We also did some tests and apparently he has an iron deficiency, but nothing too terrible." The doctor reassured the two other boys who stood outside Bolt's room. "You have to keep an eye on him, he hasn’t eaten or slept for too long." They look around before looking back at the two men. "You can go see him now, but be careful." They smiled weakly before walking away.

They enter the room to find Bolt sitting at a chair, taking serum and looking away from his brothers as his leg bounced up and down anxiously.

"... Hey, Renan." Wasabi walked towards him, his voice was sweet and quiet, "are you feeling better, dude?" He spoke in their mother tongue, choosing the words carefully. "Look, what- why did you do this? The doctor said- they said you haven't eaten or slept well in days dude, like, wha-" he's cut off by Bolt, who gives him a death glare. "Sorry…" the middle brother looks down and takes a step back.

"Don't be sorry." Dani steps forward, hands on his hips and an annoyed but concerned expression on his face, "what the hell were you thinking? Why did you just, I don't know- forget about your fucking basic needs? For what?" Bolt stayed silent, not looking at Dani. "Look at me, I'm talking to you Renan. What the fuck where you th-"

"I don't fucking know, okay?! I don't- I just- I thought… I could pull it off for a while-" He sighed, "I didn't want to do bad-"

"Then what if something worse happened? I mean, thank God you're well, would you like to, I don't know? Be put on hiatus because you can't get out of our fucking studio for ten seconds to sleep? Huh?" Dani's words came out harshly. "What if you had to stop performing all together? Huh? What if?"

Silence took all the room as Bolt and Wasabi looked down, Wasabi didn't want to fight, and Bolt was ashamed of himself. Not because of him overworking himself, but because he got caught- he'd be more careful and hide it better next time, for sure. Dani grabbed his phone from his pocket and started typing something. "I'm calling our parents."

"Don't-" Bolt's felt a rush of anxiety through his body, but was cut off my Dani.

"I will. We already told them, they need to know their son isn’t fucking dead.” He looked down at Bolt coldly before dialing the number and handing the younger his phone, “Talk.” He demanded, Bolt sighed and grabbed the phone as the two boys left the room to give him privacy.

“... Mom?-” He got cut off but his mother’s voice on the phone. “What happened, my son? Are you okay? What did you do?-” He cut her off.

“I’m fine… Just- taking some serum but it’s okay-”, he was cut off again. “Oh God, are you okay? My son…”

The room fell silent for a moment, Bolt sighed. His mother couldn’t see, but tears started falling from his eyes. “I’m okay, mommy. I just- I was stupid, I didn't eat well, but now I’m okay- I won’t do it again, I promise.” His voice cracked, the last thing he wanted was to worry his parents, especially his mom. “I’ll be careful, okay? Don’t worry- no, mommy no…” He felt another anxiety rush through his body when he heard a sniff over the phone, shit- he made her cry. Bolt made her fucking mother cry, “wait, no- mommy. I won’t do it again, I promise.” Now he was crying harder, hearing his mother cry because of him was easily the worst thing he could hear and it hurt more than any stomach pains he’d been feeling for the last few days, he’d never get over it. “Mommy, please don’t cry…” The pain in his chest was sharper as the seconds went by as he realized this was all his fault, his mother couldn’t say anything, just cry with him over the phone.

“... Why did you do it?” She asked, finally being able to speak. He whispered back and could barely be heard. “I… Thought I’d do better if I stayed a little longer, I'm sorry.” The guilt was overwhelming, she took a deep breath, “Don’t do this again, please.” He nodded as he used the back of his hands to dry his tears, “I won’t, I won’t mommy, I promise.” He played with his lip piercing as he heard her mumble something to another person, “Your father wants to talk to you, please be careful. I’ll pass to him.” His mom gave the phone to his dad, and they were silent for a while.

“Are you okay?” His father’s voice was lower than he’d expect, he seemed worried rather than angry or disappointed, even if he could spot a little bit of anger on his voice. “... Yes.” He kept playing with his piercing, his voice was quiet and it came out almost as a mumble, “I’m sorry dada.” He mumbled again, “It’s okay, Renan. Just don’t- don’t do this again, baby.” Bolt smiled at the way his father called him and nodded, “I won’t, don’t worry.”

“Go talk to your brothers, take care, okay? Call us if you need anything.” His dad continued and he could hear his mother on the back, “I love you, Renanzinho!” He smiled warmly and felt his eyes tear up again, “I love you… You two.” He heard his dad’s airy laugh, “We love you too, baby. Go talk to your brothers, tell them we love them too, bye.” Bolt whispered a “goodbye” with a voice more lovely than he expected and hung up, the two older boys entered the room right after.

“Hi…” Wasabi approached Renan, who just stared at him, once they got close enough, Bolt pulled him to a hug. Using only his free arm, he wrapped it around Wasabi’s waist, who hugged his head and shoulders. “Hey, buddy.” Wasabi pat the younger’s head.

Dani approached his brothers and pat Bolt’s head too, “Sorry for… Talking to you like that before- I was- I was worried.” Bolt looked up to Dani, “It’s okay, come here, old man.” Dani laughed at Bolt’s nickname and joined a warm group hug that would last a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Bolt was already out of the hospital. Their manager said Bolt had to rest for a few days before coming back to practice and he decided to stay home. His aunt had been cooking him big meals every day and followed him to his room in fear he'd come back to do it. He woke up to the noise of plates clicking together, “Oh, it must be lunchtime.” he thought, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands before sitting on the bed, trying to see through the little crack on the door, no success. He got up and walked slowly to the door before opening it slowly. He walked to the kitchen to be greeted by his brothers and friends, they were all decorating the dining room with his aunt.

“Oh look at who’s awake!” Wasabi was the first one to notice him standing there and he felt all eyes on him. He quickly ran his fingers through his hair trying to look presentable, his face getting a slight pinkish tone once he realized all his closest friends were there because of him. “... Hi.” He waved slightly at the people there, most of them being Royal Entertainment trainees. Daichi, a Japanese trainee around his age, was the first one to walk to him. “Hi, Daichi… Uh, how’s it going?” Bolt smiled awkwardly at the boy, who stared at him for a few seconds before pulling him to a hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay, dude.” Bolt hugged him back, his eyes wide in surprise as he recognizes every single face in there, he felt like crying- but he would never do this in front of so many people. “Thanks…” Was the only thing he managed to mumble before Daichi pulled off o the hug. He followed his friend to be with the others as they all said “Welcome back”s to him as they met again. He was still confused since he’d just woken up, but at that moment, he knew he had people who’d care about him, and this made him feel even more stressed somehow.

That was even more people to not disappoint now.

#kumockocnet #kocsociety #aeskocnet #peachykocnet #bolt.dev #zonasul.scenarios #kpop oc #kpop au #kpop fake group #fake kpop group #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop fluff #writing #fake kpop idol #fake kpop company #fake kpop oc #kpop addition

16 notes · View notes

odissey061 · 5 years

Text

Tag: @humi-and-co

After a mounth I finally did it! Here u the first chapter of my fanfiction. I suggest you to read first some headcanon about him (so you can understand him better):

1) Scroll down my works (I'm an idiot unable to create Tumblr link)

2) my Ao3 works

Chapter 1: This freak won't have me!

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Pairing: Motonari x reader

Words: +1k

Advertisement: nope

Suddenly I found myself in a burning temple. I looked around to find a way to escape when and I saw a sleeping man. Another person got closer to him, holding a blade in his hand and I screamed scared, waking him up. As the other man vanished, I took his hand and we escaped safely through the flames and the toxic smoke. Once out he started to say weird things like he was Oda Nobunaga, the one who reunited all the Japan under his rule and we were in the 1582. A few second later three men showed up and they introduced themself as others storical figures: Ishida Mitsunari, Toyomi Hideyoshi and Akechi Mitsuhide. The man I saved proposed me to become his mistress while he conquered the all the Country and I refused, but he didn't excepted it, so I ran away. He looked really determinated to keep me with him, even against my will.

Nope, this is not going to happen: I won't become the lucky charm of this freak. He won't have me so easyly.

I was really confused by the events: they presented themself as storical characters, the clothes were really similar to samurai's ones and the way they behaved (expecially the one I saved) wasn't proper of a modern man.

This is must to be a joke! I can't actually be in Sengoku period, not the day Oda Nobunaga died. I didn't go in the past!

But what otherwise what happened? I was in front of Honno-ji, where Oda Nobunaga died, the time I blinked and I found myself inside the burning temple. This wasn't a joke: for how much this could be absurd, I was five hundreds years earlier, in the place and the day in which Oda Nobunaga died and the sudden reality hit me in the face: saving Nobunaga I changed the history! I only hoped the damage wasn't huge as I thought. I also and Mitsuhide Akechi, the one who was supposed to be the traitor. Yet he wasn't the man who tried to stab Nobunaga inside the temple: the man was thicker and he had a really different aspect. But mayby Mitsuhide commissioned the murder and he presented himself to dispel all suspicions. Or mayby the history was wrong. Whatever it was, it wasn't a my concern: I wanted to come back in my time! I was so focused on my thought that I didn't see the man in front of me and I collided against him, making falling both of us on the ground. I was on him with my hand on his chest and with the moonlight moonlight I gazed at him. He was tall and his skin was kissed by the sun, his bloody eyes were in contrast with the white hair, and he wore occidental clothes. As he pushed me away, I smelled a salty scent. I drew back a little bit scared: his bloody eyes glared at me with hate and annoy and it looked like he wanted kill me, just because I collided against him. I apologised immediatly:"Sorry, it wasn't my intention hurt you. I just... Ran away". But he wasn't going to change his expression. I heard Nobunaga's voice, commanding to his subordinates to find me, and I added:"Sorry but I have to go. I'll see you another time". But before I could escape again, he smiled:"I'm sorry if I was rude earlier, but I dislike being touched. I'd like talk with you more, but It seems to me that you have to go. I promise we meet again, princess". He said a little bit ironically "princess", but I accepted his apologise.

I wake from my dream and I find myself in my room in Azuchi's castle. From that day it has been week and a lot of things happened. After I met other four people and one of them was the guy who came from my same time, Sasuke and then Mitsuhide found me and brought me in Azuchi castle. It has been a council between the Oda forces who decided to keep me with them (someone among them thought I was an enemy spy and wanted kill me). I greeted other men, Ieyasu Tokugawa, the spicy porcupine, and Masamune Date, the flirty man with a eyepach.

I'm going to leave my room to go to my first war concil about the attempt to kill Nobunaga, but the ceiling makes strange rumors and I immediatly reconize who his. "Hi Sasuke" I smile at him and he says hello too. "I came here to warning you: really soon a battle is going to start. It'll be really big and probably you won't be safe in this castle, so I suggest you to find a warlord able to protect you" he says serious. Find a lord able to protect me, huh? This is more difficoult than it look. I mean: the first night Nobunaga tried to kiss me and proposed me to sleep with him; the second day Masamune did kabe-don and asked me to become his mistress; Hideyoshi is still suspiscious of me; Ieyasu don't like me, I suppose and Mitsuhide... Well, he's Mitsuhide, only this is a good reason to don't trust him. The most nice since I came here is Mitsunari, but can I ask him to protect me?

"Are you going to battle too, Sasuke?" I question worried for him, "I'm Kenshin's ninja, so yes" he responds; "Then be carefull, please" I beg. He promises me he'll be aware of the danger and he left me. In the council we discuss about the culprit's identity, but we walk in the dark. "That night I saw a lot of people around the temple but nobody looked like the man who tried to kill Nobunaga" I say as I play with my kimono's hem. "Who did you see (y/n)?" asks Mitsunari and I respond:"I met four men: one had mismatched eyes and blod hair, another one was really tall with brown hair and the last one looked like a teenager". "The Uesugi and Takeda force, mhmm? I don't think they are the culprit: after all why Kenshin should kill me in a such fool and codaward way? That's not like him" suggests Nobunaga and Mitsuhide says:"My lord, my scouts discovered that Shingen Takeda and Uesugi Kenshin made an alliance to defeat us", then he asks me:"Did you see other person that night, little mouse?". I grind my theet: I hate that nickname. "No. I don't remind anyone" I replay, forgetting the white haired man. "Do you want start a war against them, lord Nobunaga?" guesses Mitsunari, "Obviously, Mitsunari. They are one of the few that still oppose me and I have to crush them all to reunite the Japan" he ends and with this the war council is close. I'm going to leave, but Hideyoshi stops me:"I'm going to go in Azuchi to buy something, would you like to join me? I'd like talk with you" and I confirm perplexed:"With pleasure, Hideyoshi."

Posted on: 29/9/'19

#ikesen motonari #motonari x reader #motonari route #odissey061 works

14 notes · View notes

cannot-decide-on-a-fandom · 4 years

Text

Because I can't keep only making Haikyuu videos, I'll just do this here

(Part 1) I'm gonna go ahead and rate every match in the series

Rules:

1) We need to see a significant portion of the game, so simply glimpses of practice or official matches or just really short games don't count (so let's say more than 2 chapters long in the manga (with one exception as it's kind of a crucial one), I know this will miss out a few great moments, and basically the entirety of the training camp, but this list would be like 1000 pages long otherwise)

2) I'll go in chronological order as opposed to preference order because I'm too lazy for that

3) This first post is gonna be all the matches already in the anime, and I'll make a second about the manga (I'll post a link to each other on both) so this is spoiler free. Here's part 2 with the manga matches-

Alright

Yukigaoka Junior High Vs Kitagawa Daiichi

Okay, obviously this was more like a prologue than anything else. It holds a place in my heart for introducing us to these characters, and later on for not dropping Kouji and Izumi, and I liked the little details like how being in the football club meant he was able to make a good save or 2 with his foot. But of course this was hardly a match necessarily. Still fun and I enjoyed a lot of it, though.

6/10

Karasuno 3 Vs 3

Oh, Tsukki, to think you aren't as big of a douchebag as you seemed here.

I really do appreciate the entire situation, though. Tsukishima never disliked volleyball, it wasn't like he suddenly started getting serious after never doing so before when the Shiratorizawa match came, he was always one who could be riled up but he just didn't want to show it because it was irritating to him that people were so intense.

The match itself was really nice for what it was. The early matches really contained a lot of foreshadowing, like Yamaguchi messing up the serve we saw him do. And of course this was the start of the partnership between Kageyama and Hinata. Still warming up to proper matches, of course.

6/10

Karasuno Vs Aoba Johsai practice match

Okay, this is undoubtedly the funniest match of the show. Not necessarily the funnest (I won't forget Jozenji) but it was kind of hilarious. Poor Hinata freaking out, I love him, but it was so endearing. And of course there's the serve mistake he made. Baby crow grew up afterwards.

But then Oikawa's introduction was badass as hell. I love the entire Seijoh team, they're great, and I love every opposing team, but Oikawa is still the best rival in the series in my opinion. And people like Tanaka got some spotlight too which was nice.

7/10

Karasuno High Vs Neighborhood Association

Listen. I may be biased because I love the Neighborhood Association, but I absolutely loved this match. It was hype even though it was low stakes. We got Noya and Asahi playing for the first time, and Suga as well in fact. The introduction of the jump float serve. Some fantastic saves and spikes. I love it. And it was emotionally fulfilling.

7/10

Karasuno Vs Nekoma practice match

NEKOMA! Sorry, sorry. Just love them.

Anyway, I'm only talking about the match so I can't count how much I adored Kenma's introduction and the two of them meeting (Hinata, you're my cinnamon roll), nor can I count the ridiculous interactions before and after (Yamamoto and Tanaka, Kuroo and Daichi, and Yaku and Suga, are just too perfect) but other than that, I REALLY liked how Nekoma was the first team to show us how any spike can be countered. I loved Hinata and Inuoka's rivalry, and I so appreciated how they showed Kenma being a strategist. Also, in the manga, there's like 20 panels of him like this

Which is a) a freaking mood, and b) one stupidly endearing quality about him.

Maybe this match is just about how much I love every character?

But it was so fun. Oikawa is the best individual rival, but Nekoma is their best rival as a whole. It's just so great.

7.5/10

Karasuno Vs Tokonami

I loved how we got backstory for Daichi. I don't know why, but I didn't exactly expect it? Like I expected development, but I guess I'm used to the focus being purely the main characters in terms of backstory, at least this early on, in most series. But I really like Ikejiri and I find his dynamic with Daichi endearing.

Not the best "match" but I appreciated the sentiment

6/10

Karasuno Vs Dateko

Oh, now we're talking. Gonna be honest, Dateko is one of my least favourite teams (I still love them! I love every single team. They're just on the lower end of a really highly appreciative scale) but this match was fantastic.

Again, I may be judging this based on one aspect, but I mean to this day Noya's save is one of my favourite scenes in anything. It was so well done, both anime and manga, and I just fell even more in love with Noya. And the symbolism of smashing through the iron wall was so great.

8/10

Karasuno Vs Aoba Johsai (1st official match)

And we come to the only team which Karasuno faced more than once in an official game (that we see) and that means I can't help but judge it harsher because their second game was awesome

HOWEVER! I still 100% love this game. It's such an important game to everyone and though I won't count the after effect, in the restaurant and all, I will count the immediate aftermath. It was so sad but also understandable and the entire match itself was intense. I could go into it, but it just paid off. The build up and the animosity between some of the players, the background we got for the characters during this game, the freaking soundtrack which is incredible in any of the matches.

Fantastic.

8.5/10

Karasuno Vs Oghiminami

...Meh

4/10

Karasuno Vs Kakugawa

...Meh again

With a side of interest in the idea of facing a 2m tall player, but...yeah, meh (neither game was bad, I just hardly cared about the actual matches. I enjoyed the surrounding discussions and all way more)

5/10

Karasuno Vs Jozenji

Most certainly NOT meh!

I love Jozenji so much. I want to see them more! They're so, so fun, and this shows you don't have to stick within a specific type of play. Be able to have fun while also being serious, it's important!

And, like, they're good! They're not bad or anything, even though they're messing around. They're entertaining as hell but also try hard.

I love them

And we got to see Suga playing too. I love him so I need to point this out.

8/10

Karasuno Vs Wakutani

Firstly, rip Daichi.

Alright, but seriously, I'm so glad we got to see someone like Takeru. His playing style is completely different to Hinata's at this point, yet they admire the same player, but neither of them are actually cruel or rude to the other team. This was such a respectful match while also being intense.

And we got to see an injury of a key player who couldn't go back on the court unlike Kags in the previous game, which, while unfortunate, is actually really, really good to see. It happens and can throw a spanner in the works, but it allowed us to also see 1) Ennoshita stepping up, 2) Tanaka's reaction to accidentally injuring Daichi (though it wasn't really his fault), and 3) an entirely different type of dynamic on the court.

Also, Yamaguchi! My baby! I felt like crying for the poor thing, but this was the start of his confidence and I love him so much.

I really, really, really liked this match.

8.5/10

Karasuno Vs Aoba Johsai (2nd official match)

YES!

Okay, firstly, the strategies in this game. Using a double edged sword like Mad Dog from Aoba Johsai, and Karasuno going with a more tactic savvy thinker when in a bind, like Suga, even though Kageyama is over all a better player, it was SO great to see. Suga may not be a genius or a prodigy, but his intelligence doesn't just lie in volleyball, so he can use general knowledge to his advantage so well, and teach Kageyama something too.

Kyoutani is such an interesting character and forms a brilliant dynamic for the team to play with, it's great.

Oikawa being shown to make genuine errors is such a fantastic thing. No matter how good you are, Oikawa, Kageyama, Ushijima, whoever, you will never be 100% perfect, and you will always have moments where you make mistakes. I really enjoyed seeing that. Especially his serves, which we were introduced to before his setting.

And, of course, the Hero of the match...

I WILL PROTECT YOU! BUT RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T NEED PROTECTING, YOU ARE SMASHING IT, YES BABY!

Sorry. Got over whelmed. But real talk, I also liked that they did eventually lose that set. Miraculous plays don't automatically win the game, but it also doesn't diminish their importance.

9/10

And finally for this list

Karasuno Vs Shiratorizawa

Well, do I really need to say it?

Yes, Tsukishima owned this match, this season of the show, but he wasn't the only great player

Nishinoya had some amazing moments, Hinata is such an idiot but he utilised that to his advantage by...not thinking. Like, he deliberately received the ball with his face. I mean, come on.

Yamaguchi played great too, Suga was such a key part even when on the bench (yelling at them from the side lines is absolutely brilliant), pretty much everyone was amazing here.

But while it was longer, I still preferred the Aoba Johsai game. Only slightly. Still-

9/10

Okay! So that was the anime, now...

I committed to do the manga too, didn't I?

Alright, it does contain my 2 favourite matches, so you know what? Yeah, let's go

#haikyuu

1 note · View note

him-e · 6 years

Note

Hi, I sent the original ask about a Celibate Rey ending, I don't know what discourse came out of it, I didn't see it, but I wanted to clear the air. I didn't mean to come off dismissive of female romance/sexuality or of your ship in my ask. I understand it can be exhausting to defend your perspective over and over to people who don't want to listen, so I totally get if you thought I was baiting, though. I'm sorry for the trouble or stress this caused you.

Not asking to troll or continue the discourse, but if you don’t want to continue discussing this topic please delete this. But how can you see a valid Celibate-Rey endgame going? If IX were to end with Rey on her own and to some degree happy (Since this is Star Wars, the ending has to be at least slightly happy or hopeful) what kind of an ending would it be? If Kylo dies or survives, either/or.

Hey, no problem at all, and sorry for my snappish answer (hopefully you realized I was being part tongue-in-cheek, though). Admittedly the “better off alone/celibate” argument is something that cyclically resurfaces in other ships of mine, particularly Jaime/Brienne, which made me skittish on the whole thing, particularly when it’s tied to *female agency* buzzwords and the assumption that it’s the shippers who are arbitrarily trying to force a romance on the character, rather than it being part of the character’s canon narrative (not necessarily your case, but it’s such a popular argument against the J/B ship that I’ve developed particularly nasty anticorps for it)

So re: Celibate Jedi!Rey—

Is it a technically possible endgame for her? Totally.

Is it something I would personally be okay with and find satisfying? Well, yes, if:

a) it acknowledges and gives closure to Rey’s feelings for Ben, and viceversa. This includes admitting a degree of bittersweet in the happily ever after final picture.

Just considering the force bond alone without its romantic implications, Rey and Kylo, just the two of them, are connected on a deep intimate level. This is kind of a big deal, especially for Rey, whose familial bonds were suddenly and irrevocably severed when she was little, after which she was left completely alone with no chance to find her way back to her parents (ironically, now she has a magical tracking device in her head that allows her to communicate with another person even across galaxies. From completely alone, to never completely alone even in her own head. Big deal, indeed).

Even if the bond is broken (because Kylo dies, or else) and no overtly romantic stuff happens between them, it will still leave a mark on Rey, an empty spot where something magical used to be that can only be partially filled with familial or “muggle” love and the purpose of a “lone” Jedi path. That she would bury Kylo (or watch him leave never to return) and immediately go to join the Resistance’s party original trilogy style as if nothing sad just happened doesn’t make a lot sense to me. In fact, it would infuriate me, as I hate when characters are written as if they had some emotion switch hidden somewhere that makes them go from sad to cheerful in the blink of an eye (and tbh TLJ, for all I liked it, already went dangerously close to that, with Rey’s jarring post-proposal cheerfulness on the Falcon during the whole Crait sequence, imo).

So if they want to go that route, they need to be ready to tinge their happy ending with a little melancholy, otherwise I won’t find it realistic at all. This especially if Kylo dies, but also if he leaves or they are separated for whatever reason. (if Kylo lives, and redeems himself, and stays, I don’t see any reason why he and Rey should not be together, tbh. I mean it’s not like there’s still a Jedi order around dictating what Rey is or isn’t allowed to do. Like Palpatine was the Senate, she is the Jedi Order now, she can make new rules, lmao)

b) it avoids attaching moralistic implications to this choice (?) of celibacy (”that’s what I’m really meant for”, or “that’s how I’ll live my life to the fullest and be truly happy”, etc).

The figure of the Jedi in SW is, at the end of the day, a caregiver. A magical warrior/monk who essentially devotes their life to other people, denying any sort of personal ambition of satisfaction for himself (self-drive is closer to the Sith way). While the extent of this self-abnegation can be reframed and repackaged in a more “progressive” light (say Rey rebuilds a Jedi order with different rules, or just chooses a different way to be a Jedi, see above), the essence of caregiving and selflessness will probably remain untouched. It’s really funny to me that the people who want this endgame for Rey are the same one who get their panties in a twist at the thought of Rey being “reduced to an emotional caregiver” for Ben (paraphrasing some anti post I’ve read recently). The point is, Celibate!Jedi Rey wouldn’t be simply choosing friendship/family/a career over romance, she’d actually sacrifice her individual (in this case, romantic/sexual) desires in order to become a caregiver for an entire community. And this isn’t something I’d consider an especially subversive or /empowering/ endgame for a female character, quite the opposite, actually. The subtext here needs to be handed carefully, particularly if her endgame involves rebuilding some sort of Jedi school for gifted children: the risk of elevating her to a self-sacrificial virgin mother archetype would be pretty high. It can be done, and it can imply Rey will find happiness in this life, but without any sort of hamfisted *inspirational moral message for little girls*, if you know what I mean.

c) it doesn’t frame Rey’s choice not to be with Kylo specifically (if it is indeed a choice on her part and not something dictated by external forces, aka Kylo’s death or the Willabeth endgame, more on that later) in a moral(istic) perspective.

no “I can’t be with you because you have been mean to people, ewww” bullshit, thank you very much. This sounds like the ultimate anti wet dream, Rey rejecting Kylo because he’s awful, and I think we’re WAAAYYYY past it with all that happened in TLJ.

I hope this clarifies things a bit!

Another anon asked me to explain what I meant with the Willabeth endgame, and:

in POTC III Will Turner kills Davy Jones, so he has to take his place as the captain of the Flying Dutchman, which is a curse for life. He and Elizabeth (who are now married) spend a last day together on an island (during which it’s implied they fuck like rabbits and conceive a child, lmao), and then, at sunset, Will says goodbye, leaving the box containing his heart to Elizabeth, to whom he says, “will you keep it safe for me?”. It’s heartbreaking and a bit sadistic tbh but also incredibly romantic.

How does this apply to Reylo?

Well, Kylo could be

sentenced to lifelong exile on a remote planet, or

imprisoned for life, or

going on exile on his own will, or

leaving to form a new order of darksiders (or something) as he feels he has no place among the Good Guys and has Redeemed Himself But Not Really, or

sentenced to death and then promptly freed by Rey, who urges him to leave never to return, for his own safety, or

in general, literally or metaphorically cursed to live an existence separated from Rey as a form of atonement alternative to death;

and Rey obviously can’t follow him, because she can’t and won’t abandon her place among the Resistance, and they both know this, but it doesn’t stop them for wanting each other and swearing they will wait for each other forever, cue pants-dropping emotional final goodbye scene which, while offering complete closure, leaves the possibility of a future reunion entirely possible.

Why do I think it’s a valid scenario?

it’s a good compromise between endgame Reylo and Celibate!Jedi Rey;

Kylo gets to Suffer ™, as y’all hope for;

an unwritten but very common and wise rule of storytelling (whether or not you agree with it) is that a couple who can’t be together NOW is more interesting than a couple who is Just Together and chillin’ on the sofa or something, so this endgame leaves things open enough to be further explored in hypothetical tie-in canon material (comics, novels, tv adaptations, maybe even a standalone Episode IX-bis in five or six years from now, WHO THE HELL KNOWS?);

the fanfictions would SKYROCKET;

the force bond, if it still exists at that point, would be an INCREDIBLY convenient plot device;

Reylo Sex Island

end

#anon #asks #sw asks #sw for ts #sw wank #reylo for ts #celibate rey #sw endgame #sw speculation #the willabeth endgame #long post

8 notes · View notes