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kingsmakers · 4 years

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Evens for Cass and Odds for Phoenix 😈

Ooh this is long so:

Phoenix Black

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Phoenix is obviously from a big family, so yeah she has both her brothers and also her cousins (almost all of which are older than her). She’s closest with Regulus, as they share very similar views. Her twin is probably a little more prejudiced than Phoenix. As a child she was often the glue between Regulus and Sirius, as she’s got a positive relationship with both of her brothers.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Orion is a fairly distant presence emotionally. He’s an Unspeakable for the Department of Mysteries, so he works long hours and isn’t allowed to talk about his work. Although not as abusive to his kids as Walburga, he’s never intervened on their behalf. She and her father both have depression though, which is something that comes to light more later during Phoenix’s story.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Her wand ALWAYS, probably some treats for her cat Saturn, a bunch of hair pins and hair ties just in case her hair gets too unruly.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

There’s a lot of death in Phoenix’s nightmares, which makes sense really because of the First Wizarding War and all.

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

I think it’s similar. Phoenix has grown up privileged and she’s never wanted for anything, her family is very wealthy. I will say that as an adult, she has more of an appreciation of hard work and having to earn things. Nonetheless she does inherit a fair bit of money, so even if she didn’t work, she’d always be comfortable.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Directly following Evan Rosier’s death. I can’t say too much without spoiling, but Phoenix did unknowingly have a hand in his and Wilkes’ ultimate fates. She also understands why Regulus wanted out, and knows she has to go to protect herself and baby Cass. So she’s terrified that Death Eaters will hunt her down and murder her.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Phoenix is completely unperturbed by blood. As she’d put it, girls see more than boys anyway.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

I think she is despite her best efforts not to be. Much of Phoenix’s young life was dominated by the idea of status, and how flaunting your wealth was the best way to achieve that. She becomes better as an adult, especially as Remus is not very comfortable with flaunting money due to his vastly different financial upbringing.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

I think as she’s a pure-blood it’s a bit hard to tell what toys she had, but she probably would have loved all of them.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

I would definitely say that, when she’s younger, it’s her tendency to think too much about other people’s opinions and how things look. It definitely ruined her relationship with Remus while they were still at Hogwarts - she placed too much faith in people’s perspectives on it, and it was what led her to break up with him.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

I think Phoenix is quite self-destructive, so I think she would often blame herself, or at least question how active a role she had in the tragedy that occurred. She’d wonder what she could do differently. However, when there’s blame to be placed on others, she would certainly put it there.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Phoenix is not a fan of others who go out of their way to be cruel or unkind to others for no reason. Ironic, considering she’s a Slytherin and in a very pro-Voldemort circle, but it’s part of what pushes her to want to get out.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Phoenix definitely turns a blind eye to those she’s closest with, it’s a big flaw of hers. However, she can be somewhat paranoid and suspicious of others, and when she’s got an idea in her head, it’s hard to convince her otherwise.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Phoenix isn’t a very confrontational person, but she does believe in sorting out problems rather than letting them fester. I think she would approach the conflict with the knowledge of what she wants to say, and an idea of what the outcome would be.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

As a kid, Phoenix really wanted to be an Auror. Unfortunately after her husband was killed by them, it crushed that for her. After that, she was a bit disillusioned with the Ministry, though she knew working for them would be a nice paycheck.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

With Remus and her kids. After the war, she just wants to settle down in a modest home with them and live a peaceful existence. Phoenix has a lot of trauma packed into the space of a few short years, so I think she’s done with eventful after all of that.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Phoenix can get very defensive, and is prone to tears when she’s called out. She doesn’t handle criticism well, and it’s something she’s well aware of and is working to change.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Phoenix is naturally an extrovert, and that really shines around people she likes. She’s friendly, bubbly and eager to include and be included. Phoenix is the sort of person who, when she’s at her best, you’d really want to be friends with. She does have a sunny personality when she’s in a good mood.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Originally it would be protecting her status, but that would definitely change later on.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Lmaoooo does Remus count? ;)

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Phoenix at first feels she deserves to have what she wants, but it’s only as she gets older that she realises she has to work for it and earn it, and she finds it feels better to her that way.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

I wouldn’t say a ‘dependent’ but she does have an interesting relationship with Harry. She’s sort of that aunt figure to him, as both Sirius’s sister and Remus’s wife.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Phoenix isn’t entirely sure that what happens after she dies, but she thinks there might be some sort of afterlife, and it comforts her a little knowing she’ll be reunited with people like her twin.

Cassiopeia Rosier

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Cass gets along quite well with her mum. Phoenix was only young when Cass was born, so she’s a fairly young mum, and they have some similar characteristics. She’s also the only biological parent of Cass’s still alive, so I think Cass relies on her a bit for information about what her dad was like.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

I definitely think Cass witnesses a lot during the Second Wizarding War. This is a maybe, but I considered that Cass suspects something is up when Harry is led away with ‘Moody’, and stumbles upon him having changed into Crouch. However, the professors arrive before he can attack her.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

I think Cass dreams about her dad a lot, what he’d be like, how he’d act toward her etc. She adores Remus, but she also wonders about her biological father for sure.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope, she has not.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Cass is quite body confident so I think some of the clothing she wears is a little more on the revealing side. I mean, Fred ain’t complaining.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

I think this was during her younger half-brother, Orion Lupin’s, venture to Hogwarts. He was really stressed about where he would be sorted and what it would mean and Cass was like “lmao doesn’t matter”.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I would say faces.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

A bit of both ideally, but if she had to choose, she would say happiness.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Wisdom, the little goddamn Ravenclaw.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Cass is a bit of an overachiever, so she’s likely to compare her grades and results to those of others. She sometimes feels that if she’s not the best, then what’s the point?

22. What does your character like in other people?

Genuineness, and the ability to make her laugh.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Not very. Cass is not a trusting person, and she keeps herself guarded.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Cass is an oldest child and her youngest brother is 14 years younger than her, so she’s pretty good with kids.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Cass isn’t a physically violent person, and she would only lash out if someone had done so to her first.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Arrogance. Something she does see a lot in other Ravenclaws. Also people thinking they’re ‘above’ others. She’s a pure-blood herself but sees no need to be a supremacist about it.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Being compared to Death Eater daddy in a negative way. She knows her dad did some awful things, and there’s no denying she’s like him in some ways, but she never wants to come across as cruel or malicious.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

She would move on to a different method. Cass is constantly changing her methods.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Civil, but indifferent. She will make conversation if she has to, but it won’t be anything more than small talk. She’s not outright rude but she’s not going to push it.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

I think she would remove herself from the problem or threat. She finds taking a step back gives her more space to think.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Polite. Not quite kind, but she would always at least attempt to be friendly.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Remus maybe but he’s her stepdad so? Other than that, I think she has Molly Weasley, who utterly adores her.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

She finds it hard. Cass knows that she’s a product of basically an arranged marriage, so it’s not something she throws around lately. It’s a big thing for her to say.

#asks #phoenix black #decadence #cassiopeia rosier #turbulence

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beyoncesdragon · 4 years

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50. Questions Tag

i was tagged by my favorite gal @goddamndameron pls never stop tagging me in stuff like this, I loved it🦋

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

Brown, it’s wooden

2.) Name a food you never eat

liver. never in a million years, may it be liver pâté, leberkäse, liver sausage...YUK

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

uhm warm, but when I am around cute ppl with sweaters, suddenly very cold;)

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

laying in my bed, lazily reading some of my WIPs

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

Love all chocolate.

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

yes, ice hokey and football (oR SoCcEr)

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

“in maybe 45′ yeh?” to my little sister, bc she wants to play w/m and I am a mean bitch and doesn't want to.

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

i am in a very serious relationship with ice cream in general, so I don’t mind

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

wo’a (water, sry)

10.) Do you like your wallet?

do I like my...uh. yes? I think? it was a gift from Swarovski so its shinny

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

a nectarine and some cherry pie I think

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

HA I did! a white “The Beatles” pullover and I am in love

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

i dont know

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

just...salt? very boring ik, but what can I say I am classy trash

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

my biological dad

16.) Ever go camping?

in the lovely Swiss alps somewhere in Vallis

17.) Do you take vitamins?

No.

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

I've been to church maybe 3 times for weddings and once for Christmas service and I never enjoyed it. besides, Jesus has given up on me anyways.

19.) Do you have a tan?

a nAtUrAl TaN, I'm half Arab. but I haven't seen the sun recently so not really for my standards

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

Both. literally can’t chose.

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

no, that’s bc I rarely drink soda, mainly for my skin but now I grew to find it too sweet

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

Black

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

i dont drive just yet but my mOM...

24.) What terrifies you?

people. no joke, those psychopaths leading countries is utterly terrifying, and the cruelty of humankind never fails to blow my mind. (wow that got dark and deep)

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

by babies books and a crystal and a water bottle

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

does cleaning the whole goddamn kitchen count as one chore?

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

Moichael Clifford

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

rivella? y’all non-swish would never understand though

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

since I dont drive, i go in

30.) What’s your favorite number?

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

my sister, telling her to leave me alone 🥺

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

Filet

33.) Last song you listened to?

Movements by Hozier the elven king

34.) Last book you read?

The circle by Dave Eggers and fuck I am so disturbed

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

down to m

36.) Favorite day of the week?

Saturday I think

37.) How do you like your coffee?

with vanilla or cream or caramel or...

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

Adidas superstar I think and they are about to fall apart

39.) Time you normally wake up?

9-10am when I am free

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

Sunsets

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

uhm. I like many blankets and pillows so uh 3 sorry.

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

I still live with my parents and my mom chose plates from PIP Studios and they are v cute

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

beautiful with Moroccan tiles

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

“AINT NO LAWS WHEN YOURE DRINKING THE CLAWS” beautifully said by Hannie herself. But maybe Martini (dry)

45.) Do you play cards?

Sometimes

46.) What color is your car?

mehp

47.) Can you change a tire?

Nope

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

switzerland is dope. we got chocolate, money and cheese and democracy. try us. but besides...I dont know. I guess every place has its spots 💞

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

barkeeper! loved it

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

because i sat on a skateboard behind my neighbor (yes, the cutish one and yes on the same skateboard) and my knee slipped off the board and scrapped over the asphalt and it was nasty as fuck to look at. but we good, it’s worth the memory.

i tag...whoever wants to do it! tag me tho, I wanna read! maybe @everyonesawhoregrace if u wanna🥺❤️

#get to know me #50 questions #thanks for the tag baby!

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oopsabird · 4 years

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IFD Author Showcase - oopsabird’s SamiCharlie (Wonder Woman 2017) Works

Hello all! Since today is February 15 was International Fanworks Day, I thought I’d get around to something I’ve been thinking of doing for a while, which is a masterpost of all the Wonder Woman (2017) fics I’ve written for the pairing Charlie/Sameer! Yay!! Shamless self-promotion time!!

Click under the cut for all 15 of my works for this ship in the order I originally posted them! Plenty of reading to fill up your reading week or procrastinate whatever you “should” be doing lol

Unfortunately this probably won’t show up in the tags due to the amount of links it has, so reblogs would be super super appreciated, as are comments and kudos from those of you who click through!

These works represent the small public part of the huge amount of writing growth I have had in the last two years, and a big effort to build a ship tag from the ground up with my friends, and I am so so proud of them!! Every word of a comment or kudos means the absolute world to me, as making these fics has helped me rediscover my creative self again after so many years of being estranged from that part of me - they are an expression of creative joy.

Hope you enjoy!

1. And In The Morning [1838 words]

If that snowy night in Veld had been the calm before the storm, this sunrise was the stunned quiet in the wake of the hurricane. The moment to look around and take stock of what made it through the vicious night - and what didn’t.

Missing scene/coda: Sameer at the airfield, after.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie, Chief, Diana Prince | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 28 Nov 2017

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Pre-Slash, sober Charlie

2. je le veux [7697 words]

Diana believes in love the same way children believe in fairytales - with optimism and wholehearted conviction.

or;

Over the course of their mission in Belgium, Diana deduces from watching Sameer and Charlie that they obviously must be a devoted married couple. This conclusion would in fact be news to everyone else on the team — including Sameer and Charlie.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Diana Prince, Sameer, Charlie, Etta Candy, Chief | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Diana Prince/Steve Trevor (mentioned), Charlie & Sameer, Etta Candy & Diana, Wonder Squad Found Family Feels | Date Posted: 27 Dec 2017

Addtional Tags: Mutual Pining, Intimacy, cultural misunderstandings (of a sort), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Recovery, Grieving, well-intentioned meddling friends, Diana Prince vs 20th-century homophobia, aka Truth Coming Out Of Her Well To Shame Mankind, Fluff, Get-Together Fic, Post-Movie, non-explicit references to homophobia, sober Charlie

3. gambit [7390 words]

gambit: in chess, a sacrifice used to gain an early advantage in space or time at the opening of a game.

or;

Sameer does something arguably reckless, and consequences ensue.

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie, Chief, Etta Candy | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer, Wonder Squad Found Family Feels | Date Posted: 3 Jan 2018

Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, liberal mis-use of historical timelines and the field of medicine, Hurt/Comfort, a dozen tropes stacked together in a trenchcoat, Mission Fic, Minor Injuries, Serious Injuries, Interrogation, Get-Together Fic, Post-Canon, Whump, epilogue compliant, sober Charlie

4. To Burn And Keep Quiet [5660 words]

Sameer and Charlie tell their secrets, yet still keep them secret all the same. Etta gets caught up in the middle of their mess, and prays for patience.

Additional Tags: Mutually Unrequited, Mutual Pining, Friendship, Miscommunication, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, yes it can be both, oblivious idiots in love, Hospitals, Etta gets caught in a minor moral conundrum, Secrets, Pining, Male-Female Friendship, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Period-typical attitudes towards homosexuality, (not Etta because she's a good person), Bisexual Character, Pre-Slash, epilogue compliant, sober Charlie, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism

5. so much like stars [6668 words]

Sameer gets Charlie back from the drink - and all that which comes with him, too.

or;

How the rest of the team spent that night in the village.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie, Chief | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 31 Jan 2018

Additional Tags: Pining, Canon Compliant, Mid-Canon, Missing Scene, Undressing, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, the result of watching the "evening in Veld" scene way too many times, Friendship, Unresolved Romantic Tension, probably some UST too but it's subtle I think, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Diana/Steve Trevor (mentioned), sober Charlie

6. Next To Me [2604 words]

After the war Charlie's drinking stops, but the nightmares don't. Luckily, he has people who’ll take care of him - if he can learn to let them.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie, Etta Candy, Chief | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 18 Mar 2018

Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Nightmares, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Angst, Mutual Pining(if you squint), Team as Family, Charlie and the fight against toxic masculinity, epilogue compliant, sober Charlie

7. take my heart (clean apart if it helps yours beat) [4147 words]

This thought more than any other makes Sami’s heart twist in his chest; he wishes he could turn back time, lift the troubles from Charlie’s mind and give him the peace he deserves. Steve says this new mission of theirs could end the war, and while Sami isn’t quite naive enough to wholeheartedly believe this, he quietly hopes that it can be true, because he isn’t sure how much longer they can hold on otherwise. A small group of missing scenes from the last night in London before the mission.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie, Steve Trevor | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer, Sameer & Steve Trevor | Date Posted: 1 May 2018

Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pining, Miscommunication, Etta and Diana appear briefly but not enough to tag

8. a degree of difficulty [2603 words]

Without the drink to cloud his judgement, Charlie finds himself prone to worry.

or;

A small cutscene preceding the battle at the airfield; a moment of reassurance.

Warnings: Chose not to use | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Charlie, Sameer, Chief, Steve Trevor | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer, assorted minor/background team feels and friendships | Date Posted: 27 Aug 2018

Additional Tags: Ficlet, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash, Friendship, sober Charlie

9. i don’t know if you would listen [2509 words]

After the village battle and before the celebration, Charlie seeks out absolution in Veld's broken church.

Warnings: Chose not to use | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Charlie, Sameer | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 5 Oct 2018

Additional Tags: Character Study, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Compliant, Religious Discussion, Pre-Slash, Friendship, Sami being beautiful in the twilight (again), Mid-Canon, time to unpack my massive box of Charlie feels (again), Prayer, sober Charlie

10. dìon [1944 words]

dìon — Scottish Gaelic; verb meaning “to protect”, “to safeguard”, or “to shelter”.

or;

Sami vs the forces of winter.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie, Etta Candy | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer, Etta Candy & Sameer, Etta Candy & Charlie | Date Posted: 8 Jan 2019

Additional Tags: Winter, Pre-Slash, mild whump, Fluff, Mutually Oblivious Pining, Sharing Clothes, epilogue compliant, sober Charlie

11. let me come with you [12,013 words]

the woods are lovely, dark and deep (but i have promises to keep)

or;

When things go awry on a mission in Italy, it's Charlie's turn to risk everything for his family, and pray they'll bring him home. Sequel and mirror to gambit.

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Charlie, Sameer, Etta Candy, Chief | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer, Etta Candy & Charlie, Charlie & Chief, Etta Candy & Sameer, Wonder Squad Found Family Feels | Date Posted: 4 Apr 2019

Additonal Tags: Mission Fic, Established Relationship, Action & Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Interrogation, Team as Family, Canon-Typical Violence, (maybe a bit above that), Whump, tropes tropes and more tropes, sober Charlie, Serious Injuries, Post-Canon, epilogue compliant, liberties taken with medical accuracy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Peril, Romance, Multilingual Character, i love Charlie and i am terrible to him, Torture

12. a small enough love [1016 words]

i don’t want to die. i just want a little goddamn rest and a small enough love that i can breathe around it.

Charlie sleeps. Sami keeps watch.

Warnings: N/A | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 20 Aug 2019

Additional Tags: Napping, Pining, Friendship/Love, Pre-Canon

13. (you say it best) when you say nothing at all [2073 words]

Sameer prides himself on knowing over two dozen languages (and counting) — yet somehow, he has never really needed any of them for him and Charlie to understand one another perfectly.

Warnings: Chose not to use | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 14 Oct 2019

Additonal Tags: Post-Canon, Getting Together, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Racism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, mild whump, aka Charlie gets his ass kicked a bit, No Dialogue, sober Charlie, Sameer makes a fuss, Charlie doesn’t actually mind, Angst with a Happy Ending, but like mild angst, Men Crying, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss

14. remedy [4027 words]

Sameer has spent a long time pretending he doesn't hear Charlie's nightmares, both to shelter his friend's pride and hide his own feelings.

Then the war ends, and Charlie gets sober, and damn near everything changes.

Warnings: Chose not to use | Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017) | Characters: Sameer, Charlie | Relationships: Charlie/Sameer, Charlie & Sameer | Date Posted: 12 Nov 2019

Additional Tags: Pre-Slash, Post-Canon, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, sober Charlie, Paris (City), Sharing a Bed, Accidental Cuddling, Repressed Idiots, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-War, Tenderness, Mutually oblivious

15. and if the night comes (and the night will come) [2164 words]

well at least the war is over

Charlie isn’t the only one who has his share of nightmares.

Sameer just happens to be a lot quieter about it.

Additional Tags: Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Role Reversal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Singing, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Post-War, Cuddling & Snuggling, Multilingual Character, sober Charlie, Sameer is painfully selfless, Charlie is Trying His Best god bless him, Lullabies, Tenderness

If you’ve made it this far and still somehow want more, please go check out the 17 other works for this ship by my dearly beloved friends and muses Elri and Kaye, and my pal Bug. Hell, check it out anyway. Couldn’t have done all this writing without them, I simply couldn’t <3

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let-me-love-you-loki · 4 years

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Waking Up in Vegas--Ch 34

Chapter 34: Talking About the Future Like We Had a Clue

Mera, Afternoon, Thirteen Years Before

I watched the clouds floating by overhead, laying sprawled out on the summer grass. The scent of the Mississippi hung in air thick with the buzzing of bees. It was a normal afternoon, a moment home from the hectic life of an independent wrestler. Colby was asleep, his head in my lap. He snored softly as I ran my fingers through his hair.

We’d been on the road for weeks—going from one town and promotion to the next—without a moment to breathe in between. There were long nights of waiting ringside and in locker rooms while he competed, driving through exhaustion, studying by flashlight and hoping like hell I didn’t get carsick. I was glad to be out of that car of his. Money was something we didn’t have a lot of, so it wasn’t uncommon for the two of us to sleep in it. Hotels—even the cheap fleabag motels—were often out of the question for us.

Colby smiled in his sleep, his right arm coming up to rest on his brow. My fingertips outlined the tattoo on the inside of his wrist. The fragment of a slip of paper, curled as if it had been on fire, the word Forever in a curling script. It was simple. A design he’d chosen when he was seventeen. One whose twin was etched on my skin as well.

I smiled down at him, knowing that the future was going to be hard, but it was us against the world. As long as we were together there was nothing we couldn’t handle.

Mera, Morning, 9:13 AM

If I tried very hard, I could still see the outline of the tattoo on the inside of my right wrist. It had been a stupid thing to do at seventeen. At the time, it had been wild and reckless and romantic. We were young and thought we had the world in our hands. And, for a while, we did.

Then it all came crashing down in a heap of lies and resentment.

I’d spent two grand getting it removed after we broke up. My adult self could have strangled the stupid teenager I’d been for the pain and expense of cleaning up her mess. Of course… my adult self was more than occupied with the time it took to mend a broken heart. Colby had spun a different story of the tattoo he’d kept. It was no longer about the relationship that we’d had, the future we’d planned out for ourselves. No, it was a bold statement of his straight-edge lifestyle as a teen.

It would have been a lie to say it wasn’t a blow when I heard the story. I remembered the day we went to get them together. But it seemed he’d forgotten.

“Mera?” The voice cut straight through the cloud of confusion and lingering hurt. It pulled me to the surface of thoughts that had tried to drown me. Dean brushed the backs of his fingers along my cheek. He captured my chin between his finger and thumb. “What’s wrong?”

My husband sat up in the bed beside me. His chestnut hair was mussed and tangled. His cornflower blue eyes were hazy with sleep. He watched me, worry furrowing his brow.

“Ghosts,” I replied.

Dean, Morning, 9:15 AM

Mera hardly slept. She’d tossed and turned most of the night, her face twisted in a mask of hurt. I’d lain awake at her side, wiping away the tears that rolled down her cheeks, snatching her in my arms and cradling her against my chest. I hated every moment of her pain. Everything in me wanted to take it away from her, to give her the chance to have peace. At least for a while.

I watched her fingers absently trace over her right wrist. Part of me wanted to ask about the faint white scars. But I knew it wasn’t the right time. And God knew, there was a great big part of me that was afraid of the answer.

Ghosts. A particular ghost. One that didn’t stay in the past.

“What do you need from me?” I asked. In that instant, with the confusion and melancholy that rolled off my wife like waves, I knew that wants weren’t much of a concern. But whatever she needed from me… I’d do everything I could to make sure she got what she needed.

She closed her eyes and wilted right in front of me. Mera collapsed into my embrace, her face buried against my neck. I gripped her tight and hoped that it could say what my words couldn’t… that I wouldn’t leave her. That I couldn’t leave her if I tried.

Mera, Afternoon, 1:18 PM

I knew now why Dean loved living in Las Vegas. Sure, there was no shortage of things to do on the Strip, but it was the wide-open sky and the desert air that made it a place that changed me. At night, it was a brilliant inky black dotted with stars faded in the city lights. During the day, it was a high, bright blue that reminded me of Dean’s eyes. Storms made the clouds sit low in the sky like soaked cotton.

That day it was clear and periwinkle. There wasn’t a cloud to be seen. I leaned my head out the window as Dean drove out into the desert. He was going in the direction of Red Rock Canyon, but I couldn’t say that was his destination.

“Dean?” I said after a long quiet.

“Yes, my sweet wife,” he replied, reaching over to curl his fingers around mine. His touch was gentle and grounding.

“Where are you taking me?”

He glanced at me, his head turning for a split second. I couldn’t see his eyes from behind his dark sunglasses, but I knew that his eyes were a beautiful forget-me-not blue. He grinned with the corner of his mouth. “I’m taking you somewhere special, darlin’. Trust me.”

My heart skipped a beat every time he called me darlin’. It was an immediate reminder of that night that started this wonderful, wild new life of mine. It made me think of fountains and stars and late-night breakfasts and music that no one could hear. My gaze dropped to my wedding band as I thought about that night.

It had been months since then. Months that had shown me the depth of Dean Ambrose’s love and devotion. There had been so many moments of ugly reality when a lesser man would have walked away. Yet he stayed. He stayed and supported me and rescued me from even the little terrors of life. How he had the strength, I’d never understand. But I would be desperately grateful for it and desperately in love with him until the day I died.

“I love you.” The words came smoothly, unbidden. But I knew they were burned into my bones.

Dean’s fingers squeezed mine as he pulled off the side of the road and put the car in park. He turned in his seat and leaned in to press a kiss to my lips. It was lingering and gentle and yet enough to set my blood on fire in my veins.

When he pulled back, I took my time drinking in the way he looked. There was something remarkably soft about him in that instant. He was every version of himself that I’d ever known all rolled into one. His smile was goofy, eyes intense, entire being focused on having me within arm’s reach. My heart skipped a beat at the knowledge that I was the center of his attention.

That I had been since the day we met.

Dean, Afternoon, 1:28 PM

She had this look in her eyes… the one she got when she was so deep in her own thoughts that she forgot the rest of the world existed. I’d seen her like this more times than I could count, but the sheer beauty of it slammed into my chest like a blow each and every time. The ache in her eyes vanished. She softened in a way that made me wonder what she’d look like if she were ever able to fall into something completely, unbothered and unafraid of whether anyone would be there to catch her on the other side.

“I love you,” she’d said.

Goddamn, I’d never get tired of hearing her say those words. Of knowing that they belonged to me. Those three little words from her were better than the sweetest whiskey. Better than any adrenaline rush could ever be. They were a drug all their own, made doubly potent by the look in her amber eyes.

I was grinning like a fool, and I knew it. I got that way when it came to her. Foolish. Reckless. Stupid. Desperately in love. Determined to do whatever it took to help her be happy.

“I love you, too,” I said, stroking my fingers along the curve of her cheek. She blinked and looked up, drawn from her thoughts by the sound of my voice.

Mera smiled at me. It was a punch through my chest that knocked the wind out of me. She hooked her fingers around the chain of the dog tags around my neck and pulled me close. I licked my lips, filing away another moment when she made use of that necklace to get me against her.

When she looked at me like that, I felt ten feet tall. I could take on the world. I was a man worthy of someone like her. It didn’t matter that I never finished high school. Or that I’d spent my entire adult life in one fight or another, scraping the bottom of the barrel to get from one day to the next. No, when she watched me with those eyes and touched me with those fingers, I was everything that everyone said I’d never be.

Mera made me a better man. I didn’t know what stood on the other side of the next day, but I knew that whoever or wherever I was, I wanted her by my side. I wanted to see her on the top of the mountain of her life.

“Why are you always looking at me like that?” she asked, dragging my attention back to the present.

“Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened in my life. And I’m thinking about how I get to spend the rest it with you.”

She blushed and looked away. I caught sight of her fingers sliding along the inside of her wrist. It was an absentminded sort of thing. But I knew enough about the trauma that lived deep within her that it wasn’t without meaning. I didn’t have to think too hard to know that had something to do with Seth Rollins.

“This,” I said, gesturing my finger back and forth between us, “is the one thing in this world that I will fight to keep. I can lose that house, this truck, that business… none of that matters to me like you do. And even if that happens, I will bust my ass to get it back for you because you deserve everything.”

I watched some unnamed emotion slip across her face. She looked down at her wrist again. “You’ve been worryin’ that spot all day, Mera. What is it?”

Mera, Afternoon, 1:35 PM

Leave it to Dean to notice even the smallest things I did. It was as if he was always watching. As if it made him happy just to look at me.

My heart jumped into my throat. This moment was good. It was peaceful. I didn’t want to drag the past into it. Even if that past would never be able to leave me.

“All that’s left of a tattoo I had removed years ago.” I knew Dean would understand. That he would figure it out without me having to say the words. But it was time that I stopped locking those memories away. “When we were seventeen, Seth and I got matching tattoos. You know the one on the inside of his wrist? I had one just like it. It was supposed to be this kind of promise to each other. That we would be together forever. He changed his mind about what it meant. And I got mine removed.”

I glanced up at him, wondering what was going through his mind. He was watching me carefully, pain behind his blue eyes. I shrugged.

“I was a stupid kid who thought she was in love. Getting matching tattoos sounded like a good idea then.”

Dean’s fingers skimmed over mine. He curled them around my wrist and pulled it up to his mouth. I watched him rake his eyes over the faded white scars before kissing the skin gently. My heart melted in my chest.

“When we’ve been married for five years,” he said plainly, brimming with confidence that it would come to pass, “we’ll go and get tattoos together. Whatever you want. They don’t have to have anything to do with each other. We’ll make a new memory for you. For us.”

TAGS

@mox-made-me-do-it @houndsofjxstice @lunatictoosweet @xbutterflius-effectusx @mother-forker @instantbouquetdestinysblog @dcnmarvelgamergeek @pinkduality

#dean ambrose #dean ambrose fanfiction #jon moxley #jon moxley fanfiction #aew #aew fanfiction #waking up in vegas #wuiv #mera reynolds #dean x mera #OFC #multi-chapter #romance #angst

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mtvswatches · 4 years

Text

Wynonna Earp 3x03 Colder Weather

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) They’re doing a Dolls retrospective in the previously-on and oh God, it’s going to be one of those episodes, am I going to cry my heart out?

2) Wynonna is sad, drunk, and angry – a dangerous combination. Yep.

3) God, they even changed the music for this episode… They’re really going for emotional devastation, aren’t they?

4) So, the vampire lady that had Doc all tied up in the season opener is back. He called her Countessa, but then she begged him to say her name, and I wonder if this has some other meaning? Like, maybe she needs him to say her name for some spell or something? I don’t know. Anyway, apart from being a vampire, she moonlights as a seer. And she tells Doc that she’d seen a warrior would die – Dolls – and that he should give up trying to get with Wynonna because she loved Dolls, too, and he’d be forever competing with Dolls’ ghost. Ouch.

5) Really, dude?

6) Waverly and Nicole are having a very important conversation that everyone should have with their loved ones – what happens with my remains when I die? I’ve had this conversation several times with different people and they’re all very much aware of what I want to be done with my body, but I guess I’ll be dead and they can do whatever they want and I’ll never find out. Anyway, Nicole’s wish is to have a sky funeral, which sounds whimsical and cute but it’s actually pretty gross.

7) Uh-oh. Waverly has just found out that her father – well, not her father-father, you know what I mean – had only made arrangements for her mother’s and Wynonna’s burials, not hers… and that’s so unnecessarily cruel? Did they adopt her or were they charged with her? I really need to find out what’s the whole story about Waverly and the Earps!

8) Wynonna is in denial. She continues binge-drinking and shooting Peacemaker, but she’s not finding any peace. It’s Doc who can finally comfort her and convince her to pay their respects to Dolls. They actually comfort each other…

9) Who dis?

10) Waverly is kind of freaking out, saying she’s hungry and how that reminds her that Dolls will never eat again and then she starts laughing (her little breakdown reminded me a bit of Anya’s in The Body…) and Doc then smashes a glass against the wall (kind of like what Xander did in The Body…) They’re preparing a wake for Dolls at Shorty’s, which I guess we’ll end up being more like a sad party with everyone getting drunk and shots being fired because nothing can go right in Purgatory, not even a wake.

11) So, I took an instant liking to Star Hand guy for some reason, and thankfully, he seems to be Dolls’ friend. Doc is demanding evidence, as he should. Question is, how did he find out Dolls was dead? Is he a Black Badge agent, too? Did he come here to say his goodbyes or is he going to be a mainstay? And with this I’m reminded of…

12) Hmm. I have some questions…

NICOLE: My parents were travelling again and they told me I could go to this music festival with my aunt and uncle. Here. WAVERLY: In the Ghost River Triangle? NICOLE: There was an attack. A man in leather. So much screaming and blood. WAVERLY: The demon Dolls killed at the cliff? Bondage Bob? NICOLE: For years, my parents just told me that everybody died in a forest fire and that I had... I had somehow escaped, but... you know, it just didn't explain the nightmares. WAVERLY: Yeah, I've... I've heard them. NICOLE: Last spring, when... Widow Mercedes said his name... Bulshar... it was like this shotgun went off in my head. And Dolls helped me. He got me files, he... he told me that... Black Badge had been covering up these massacres for years. The Cult of Bulshar.

I’m not sure I’m on board with this backstory they gave Nicole literally out of nowhere? And the same demon that committed this massacre is the guy Dolls killed on the hill? The one Waverly names “Bondage Bob”? I just… I don’t totally buy it. I know it could be completely possible for her to have suppressed these memories because of trauma, but… it all feels a bit thrown together at the last minute? Why couldn’t she just be a human, a kickass human but a human nonetheless? Why does she also need a supernatural and traumatizing backstory? I don’t know, I’m still a bit iffy about the whole thing.

13) Will this turn into a supernatural version of “P.S. I Love You”?

14) Obviously, Dolls knew he was going to die, hence the ominous letter. Wynonna takes it out on Jeremy because he knew and he was trying to help Dolls but he didn’t say anything to anyone else, trying to respect Dolls’ wishes. Wynonna feels betrayed, but I don’t really get why? First of all, all of them know they can die at any time, that’s part of the gig, right? So yeah, Dolls being aware of his own mortality shouldn’t be that surprising considering his line of work. Second of all, they all witnessed that this dragon-power was taking a toll on him, didn’t they? Am I crazy? So yeah, Wynonna might have pretended it wasn’t an issue, but she knew, they all knew… I guess it’s easy when you’re mourning someone’s death to have someone to blame, but Jeremy hardly deserves it.

15) So, Quinn, Xavier’s friend, is all chummy with Doc and I’m here for it. Wynonna asks Doc if he knew Dolls was dying, and Quinn is like “duh! Of course, he was!”, which was exactly my reaction. Wynonna is not an idiot, so she had to be in complete denial not to see that he was dying. Anyway, apparently, he was also Black Badge.

16) Oh, great. The fucking revenants stole all the serum Doc had concocted for Dolls and are streamlining it. This should end well.

17) So, Jeremy placed a coded message for Dolls’ friends to come to his funeral. See? How can you be angry at Jeremy?

18) Wynonna wonders why Dolls didn’t attempt to do anything to get better, and the answer is blatantly obvious for both Quinn and Doc – because of her. I’m guessing she’ll take this information to further flagellate herself over Dolls’ death.

19) The vampire lady, Katalin, stole Waverly’s purse, for some reason, maybe she’s a klepto or something, but she didn’t use any of her vampire powers to do it? Like, she just grabbed and took off, awkwardly running in her heels? Kind of disappointing, but also super hilarious.

20) Ay…

21) Waverly enlists Doc to help her get Dolls’ letter back, and they sneak out all secretive, but… it’s a wake with literally 5 freaking guests… I think the three people left will eventually notice they’re gone?

22) “Why torture yourself? I don’t.” HA! Yeah, right!

23) Quinn suggests that Black Badge is not really gone – well, duh – and that they might come to retrieve what’s left of Dolls…

24) Yep. A bunch of jacked-up revenants have just crashed the party. Coolio.

That’s alright, Wynonna’s got it.

25) I do appreciate a good early 00s callback…

26) WTF

27) OMG, Waverly trying to lose it and turn the table but realizing it’s too heavy and then just throwing the cards on the floor and giving a little shout? *chef’s kiss*

28) Oh, shit, Katalin now knows what Waverly is?! What is she???

29) Aw, Nicole just set Wynonna straight, told her that everyone is grieving Dolls just as much as she is and that she should go apologize to Jeremy. I do really love their quiet yet strong bond.

30) Quinn is fucking torturing Jeremy with a goddamn stapler and why does everyone keep treating Jeremy like crap? Quinn wants to get Jeremy’s drugs to become a dragon and storm BB headquarters. Wynonna gets through to him by admitting that she is also haunted by the ghosts of the people she lost, but their best revenge is to go on living. Be brave. Live. For me.

31) Ouch, I didn’t know that something as small as Wynonna giving Quinn Dolls’ badge would hurt like a bitch, but it did.

32) Damn, damn, damn.

That whole scene simply destroyed me. Wynonna finally decided to cremate Dolls’ body to prevent BB from coming after it to continue experimenting on him. And then they bury him, each of them placing a personal item that symbolizes their relationship to Dolls. It fucking devastated me.

33) Waverly asks Wynonna what her plans are for when she passes, casually mentioning that she doesn’t have a spot on the Earp’s burial site. Wynonna doesn’t make a big deal of it, and instead, tells Waverly that they will live for about another 80 years and then, they’ll be buried together at the homestead. That’s all the reassurance Waverly needs. She might not be an Earp, but she’s Wynonna’s sister, and that’s all that matters.

34) Damn, Dolls.

35) Does Katalin spend the whole day playing with her Tarot cards? #quarantinemood

So… she admits that she only stole Waverly’s purse to get Doc’s attention. They have a short conversation about the days of yore and then…

Damn Doc, he can’t just keep it in his pants, can he?

36) That was an emotional rollercoaster of an episode. Dolls wasn’t one of the characters I loved the most, but I understand how important he was to the narrative and to each of the characters, so I’m glad to see he got a proper send-off. I really hate it when shows gloss over the aftermath of a main character’s death and skip forward all the grieving and uncomfortableness of mourning. That being said, this being a supernatural show and all, I’m skeptical that this was the last we’ll see of Dolls. Anything can happen, right?

37) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

#Wynonna Earp #Xavier Dolls #Doc Holliday #Waverly Earp #Nicole Haught #Wynonna Earp 3x03 #WE 3x03 #WE recap #recap #mine

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destieltropecollection · 5 years

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Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 1: Alpha/Beta/Omega AU

Failing Is What You're Good At | @camerahead12 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14498 Main Tags and Warnings: Heavy angst, physical/emotional absue, minor character death mentioned, true mates, scent bonding, Summary: All Dean ever wished for was to see the ocean. It was an ever present, constant hum inside that beckoned him to the blue waters. He knew, deep down, he would probably never make it to the other side of the states. Life hasn't handed him a lot of passes, but still he was doing alright. Living, surviving, and beating the odds was what he was good at. Everything thrown at him made him that much stronger. And with that strength he felt sure he could take on anything. Maybe one day his reward would be to see that ocean. Maybe one day he'd follow the hum deep inside and find home.

Oddly Shaped Empty | @jemariel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 65726 Main Tags and Warnings: Dean/Cas, past Dean/others, beta!Dean, alpha!Cas, roommates, mating cycles/in heat, scent marking, mating bites, gender dysphoria, domestic fluff Summary: Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha. Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to? By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever..... Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

The Samhain Trials | @jemariel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8068 Main Tags and Warnings: a/b/o, omega!Dean, alpha!Cas, historical/fantasy setting, soulmates, soulmate-identifying marks, Summary: On Samhain night, the veil is thin, not only between the spirit world and our own, but between humankind and their inner natures. Every year, the hunt is run. Alphas and omegas brave the woods in search of glory and passion. Every year, Dean Winchester comes out alone. The soulbrand on his neck means that he has a True Mate, and what should be a blessing has only been a curse. He hopes, and he waits, and this year his soulbrand has been itching as if it were newly risen. It's nearly sundown.

"What The Fuck Is A/B/O?!" | @spinnerjen Rating: Explicit Word Count: 25264 Main Tags and Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Summary: A witch unleashes the A/B/O virus... and it changes everything.

This Alpha's Army | @crowley-loves-usuk Rating: Explicit Word Count: 34800 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamic, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Attempted Sexual Assault, Alpha!Dean, Omega!Cas, Mating, Omega Rights, Strong Omega, Alternate Universe: Military, mpreg, smut, fluff Summary: Lieutenant Castiel Novak is an Omega who has always dreamed of following in his Alpha brother's footsteps by joining a combat unit in the military. Never mind that Omegas aren't allowed into combat. He has worked his entire career for this moment, but it all might come crashing down when he meets his new commanding officer, Captain Dean Winchester. When Cas is sent in for Alpha training as the first Omega in history to do so, he finds himself falling hard for his trainer.

Heaven Scent | @crowley-loves-usuk Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23580 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha!Cas, Omega!Dean, brief Dean/Arthur Ketch (not explicit), Mating Cycles/In Heat, Accidental Mating, Scent Marking, Nesting, John Winchester being an asshole, minor Ketch/Davis (not explicit), minor Sabriel (explicit) Summary: When Dean Winchester presents as an Omega, his parents arrange a marriage to Arthur Ketch. Dean hates Arthur and spends his days dreaming of marrying a mate that he loves. When his mother finally forces him to begin planning his upcoming wedding, Dean never expects that the wedding planner would be the Alpha of his dreams...

The Worst Blind Date | @andromachewritesstuff Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6449 Main Tags and Warnings: From AO3: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean Winchester, Knotting, Referenced Mpreg, Explicit Sexual Content, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester Summary: “Dean, please, c’mon!” “I said no, Charlie.” “Please? For me?” “So, what, you’re setting me up with this guy for you? Gee, thanks, Charles. That definitely makes me want to say yes.” When Charlie tries to set up Dean with Castiel Novak, Charlie won't take "no" for an answer. So, Dean decides to make the whole thing the worst blind date in history. Except, maybe this wasn't the worst idea after all? And maybe Dean realizes a little too late?

More than Enough | @andromachewritesstuff Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7463 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Infertility, Fertility Issues, fertility treatments, Mpreg, Past Miscarriages, discussion of miscarriage, Pregnancy, Medical Examinations and Procedures, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, non-graphic childbirth, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Explicit sexual content, Trying To Conceive, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Depression, Established Relationship Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak were happily-mated, successful thirty-somethings. They owned their own home, had good jobs, and a few years ago decided they were ready to start a family. Three years later, they're still struggling. They're also still in love, and still hopeful that this time, maybe, it will work.

Christmas Treats and Angel Heats | @malmuses Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19966 Main Tags and Warnings: A/B/O, Canon Divergent, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Wing Kink Summary: Angels don't have a sex, or gender, nevermind a secondary gender—right? At least, that's what the Winchesters have been led to believe. It's Christmas, and Dean misses his angel friend. He's been AWOL for days, and the Winchesters are worried. When Cas returns to the bunker on Christmas Eve, very clearly in heat, a few of their assumptions are going to have to change. Oh, and Dean is going to have to hide his feelings for Cas in the face of the news that the angel is an unmated omega, who desperately needs their help.

Fresh Horses | @navajolovesdestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11606 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Omega Dean, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Mpreg, Miscarriage, Knotting, Light BDSM, Daddy Kink Summary: When Dean gets caught sneaking into the Angels' Den, Castiel Novak's BDSM club, Cas takes a special interest in the kid.

demo day | @reallyelegantsharkfish Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15904 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, trans alpha, Alpha Castiel, Omega Dean, Reality TV ,Contractor Dean Winchester, Designer Castiel, Mutual Pining, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Fixer Upper AU, Nesting, Scent Marking, Mates , HGTV Summary: “Guess what today is?” Dean says, grinning into the camera. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cas rolling his eyes with a smile touching his mouth. Dean unbuttons the top few buttons of his plaid shirt and pulls it apart, Superman style, to show the words DEMO DAY printed across the t-shirt on his chest. “Demo day!”

Forever's As Far As I'll Go | @roobear68 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 9789 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, true mates, newly human Castiel, Castiel in the bunker, knotting, mating bites Summary: When Cas arrives at the bunker after being thrown from heaven, Charlie was the only one there. The boys are on a vamp-nest hunt in Vermont...28 hours away. Cas had just presented as an omega. And he wants Dean.

Delicious, Delirious | @suckerfordeansfreckles Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1923 Main Tags and Warnings: alpha/beta/omega dynamics, alpha!Cas/omega!Dean, true mates, pure smut Summary: "God, I’ve been waiting for this for weeks,“ Dean murmurs when he breaks away from Cas’ lips to take some deep breaths. "Yeah, me too,“ Cas says against his neck as he peppers kisses to it. "You are so beautiful, you smell so goddamn perfect. Why did I ever think waiting to do this would be a good idea?“ "Shit, I don‘t know.“ (Or: Dean met his true mate Cas three weeks ago, they decided to wait before jumping into bed, they are crazy desperate for each other, and finally give in to the tension)

No Righteous Path | @jupiterjames Rating: Explicit Word Count: 111944 Main Tags and Warnings: alpha Dean, Omega Castiel, Professor!Castiel, Handyman!Dean, late life falling in love, low-angst AU, religious! Castiel, Mating, Bonding, alcohol use Summary: On his 40th birthday, Dean Winchester suddenly begins to worry that he may have lost his chance for a real mate. He's been so focused on his business as a 24-hour roofing and repairman, that he's never taken the time to date properly, or even make any lasting friendships outside of his family. Beginning in their late 30's, alphas and omegas start to lose their mating and bonding hormones, making it more difficult - and often impossible - to mate or bond with anyone past a certain age. But as a modern Alpha, Dean would be content with a companion, at least. Blood bonds aren't the be-all, end-all. However, after a late night emergency roofing repair call from Castiel Novak, Omega, Dean starts to hope. Yearn. The only hangup is that Castiel admits to being as old-fashioned as the books he teaches. Nervous to go against his religious upbringing by being with someone who he can't bond properly, as alphas and omegas are intended to do. But he can't deny his attraction to Dean, and despite his sensibilities, he thinks that, just maybe, he can change for the man he's falling in love with.

Just Here For A Good Night | @saltnhalo Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6646 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha Cas, Omega Cas, frat boy Cas, PWP, Dom/sub undertones Summary: In which Dean is looking to get laid at an Alpha Phi Alpha party, and sets his sights on Castiel, who's just trying to make sure that nothing bad happens on his watch.

What The Rain Brings | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6043 Main Tags and Warnings: Omega Dean, alpha Cas, college AU, true mates Summary: In which Castiel's new roommate—supposed to be an alpha, under the guidelines of the college dorms—turns out to be a) late, and b) a beautiful, sarcastic, drenched omega.

What Are the Odds? (WIP) | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 68616 Main Tags and Warnings:mpreg, homophobia, violence, referenced rape, underage pregnancy (not Cas or Dean) Summary: Alpha Cas picks up Omega Dean at a bar, and they quickly realize they're True Mates. Life quickly gets interesting.

In This Life | @lemonsorbae Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1250 Main Tags and Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Mpreg, Fluff and Angst Summary: Dean and Cas are anxious about becoming new parents.

The Scent | @angelneedshunter Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1120 Main Tags and Warnings: Kidnapping Summary: Dean has been searching for Cas for months when he finally catches a scent.

Omega sense and Alpha sensibility | @msarahv Rating: Mature Word Count: 27483 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Regency, Omega Castiel, Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester, Omega Gabriel, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: After his father's passing, Castiel is destitute. He meets Dean Winchester, a delicate, sensitive Alpha and falls for him. But what can he do when he has no money or beauty to offer?

For Every Alpha an Omega | @thursdays-fallen-angel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 123674 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Divergent, alpha!Cas, omega!Dean Summary: Things never go according to plan. Not when Castiel visits a strip club and finds his other half in Dean, who is definitely not the omega mate an alpha would typically expect to have. Not when Dean launches a search for his missing father, which starts with a paradigm-shifting trip to Palo Alto. And most definitely not when they face off against a demon army with a leader they are powerless against.

In My Heart's Territory | @cas-lost-grace Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14476 Main Tags and Warnings: Pack Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, True Mates, Enemies to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Porn with Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean, Mating Bond, Mating Bites, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean Summary: There’s a packless individual in Cas’ territory. When he sets out to find them he expects a fight. What he doesn't expect is to find an omega who will change his life.

#destiel #destielfanficnet #destielfanfic #destiel trope collection #tropes #writersofdestiel #deancasfanficnet #Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics #2019

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argylemnwrites · 5 years

Text

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment - Chapter 13

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Canon Divergent from Book 2, Chapter 15)

Word Count: ~4800

Rating: R (adult language - like too many f-bombs to count, here)

Summary: Drake tries to process his most recent decisions in regards to Liam and Riley, but some of the palace guests and residents make that difficult.

Author’s Note: So, yeah. I’m back at this story. I never intended to take so long between chapters, but this content here is basically the reason I didn’t just write Chapter 1 as a one shot, but instead turned it into an actual fic. Well, it turns out getting this all out of my head and into words was a real struggle. I could keep playing around and tweaking this indefinitely, but y’all have been patient enough, so without further ado, let’s get back into things here. We last left Riley leaving Cordonia to return to NYC while Drake stayed for Liam. Meanwhile, Olivia had just discovered that her aunt was involved in the recent attacks. This picks up that same afternoon.

This series diverges from TRR canon, where instead of waiting to discuss his relationship with Riley until their last night in NYC, leaving her a note while Liam is proposing to her, Drake tackles this topic as soon as possible after Tariq makes his statement and Riley’s name is cleared. To catch up on this series, you can find the previous chapters in my masterlist (link is located in my bio).

The Cordonian royal palace had a total of six different lounges, but only one of them was truly a private lounge, tucked away in a back corridor of the royal family’s residential wing. It had been the location of many nights of drinks and cards over the years. The group in attendance had varied, starting with Leo and Bertrand years and years ago. Tariq and Rashad both would drop in if they were in the capital. And more recently, Maxwell had hustled Drake out of more money than he cared to admit over hands of poker. But really, the only constants at these private card games had been Liam and Drake himself. It was strange to sit there now, alone in the middle of the afternoon. But Drake had wanted a drink and a smoke, and it was the only place in the palace where he would find both whiskey and an ashtray and be likely to be left alone.

Drake didn’t know how he felt, exactly. Not that he was ever great at putting his feelings into words, but today was even harder than usual. He didn’t really feel sad. More empty. Hollow.

He took the last drag from his cigarette as he kept rooting through the bar until he found the bottle of Yamazaki 18 tucked behind several other bottles of scotch and whiskey. If there was ever a day that warranted the good stuff, today was that day. Drake poured himself a double on the rocks before carrying his glass and the ashtray over to one of the armchairs by the fireplace. He knew he was wallowing, but he figured he’d earned it. Today just plain sucked.

The drive back from the airport had felt kind of covered in this sort of surreal haze. Had he really just let her get on a plane and leave? But what else could he have done? He had to stay. For Liam. And he couldn’t ask her just to hang around while he dealt with all that. It wasn’t fair to her. She, unlike him, actually had a life in New York. Asking her to abandon all of that just to sit around as some sort of fucking emotional comfort for him was selfish.

And truth be told, her being around would probably be counterproductive. It seemed like the three of them being in the same room was just a recipe for awkwardness. If Drake was actually going to be there for Liam, Riley’s presence would not make things easier. Even though Liam would never say anything, it was clear to anyone with half a brain that seeing him and Riley together was just adding stress. That he wasn’t coping with their relationship as much as he wanted to project that he was. And Drake certainly wasn’t going to stick around just to throw his happiness in Liam’s face. That was the opposite of his goal.

Still, watching her walk away from him at the airport had torn something deep inside him. It felt wrong, and he missed her already. God, he was a pathetic mess. He took a sip of his whiskey before lighting up another cigarette, but was interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open.

It was Leo. Of course he would be the only other person at the palace looking for a stiff drink well before cocktail hour. He strolled in, whistling to himself until he caught sight of Drake, his eyebrows shooting up comically.

“Hey, what are you still doing here? I thought your flight was today.” he asked after a moment, continuing over to the bar and grabbing the bottle of whiskey Drake had left out.

“Yeah, well… I decided to stick around for a while.”

Leo looked up from the bar, seeming to stare at Drake with those words. “You’re here by yourself?”

Drake swallowed roughly, tapping his cigarette against the ashtray’s edge. “Yeah, Liu flew out.”

The only sound was that of a glass being set on the bar and the splash of liquid as Leo poured himself a couple fingers of the whiskey. He took a sip of his drink before he stepped around the bar, raising his glass toward Drake is if in a toast. “I can’t say I’m not a little relieved.”

Drake took a drag off his cigarette, trying to gauge how pissed that should be making him. Leo didn’t always think things through fully, so he probably didn’t mean much by his statement. Still, for him to be the one to give him shit about sticking around? Well, it was pretty damn annoying.

After another sip of his drink, Leo chuckled as he continued, “I thought I was going to have to fly out and track you down again for a moment, there.”

Okay, maybe Leo did mean something. Drake bit his lip, trying to control his temper. He knew he was already on edge, and at the end of the day, Leo really wasn’t worth it. But his patience was tested as Leo continued, “I mean, I get it, the whole ‘following some girl halfway across the world’ thing, but I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

“My senses?”

“Well, yeah. I know, chasing skirts is fun and all, but at the end of the day, you gotta admit that you belong here, right?”

Drake swallowed, trying to find his words before he spoke. He was trying to control his temper, he really was. But today had sucked enough without having to listen to Leo spout this bullshit.

“I mean, you did have me worried for a minute there. That pussy must be truly spectacular for both you and him to lose your minds over it.”

Drake heard a loud rushing in his ears and realized he as out of his chair and striding over to Leo before he could even think about what he was doing. Leo’s eyes widened and he maneuvered himself behind the bar, the fear evident in his eyes.

“Relax, man. I didn’t mean anything, really. I’m sure she’s a great woman. All I was trying to say is that I’m glad you’ll be here for him.”

“Right, because otherwise you might have to act like his actual brother, not just some drinking buddy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Leo. You’re not gonna stand there and act like you’ve been the brother he deserves, are you?”

Leo scowled, taking a long drink from his glass before he responded, “Just add it to the list. One more way that Leo is a fuckup who could never measure up to his perfect, saintly little brother.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” Drake groaned, rolling his eyes. “Nothing you can say will ever make me feel sorry for your irresponsible, hypocritical, entitled ass.”

“You have no idea what the pressure is like! You have never had to carry that weight, knowing you would never be able to-”

“I’m not talking about your abdication, Leo!” Drake yelled, smacking his hand down against the top of the bar. “That’s a whole other thing, and I don’t really want to get into right now. I’m talking about the fact that you have been a shitty brother to him since day one. And guess who always had to be there to pick up the slack?”

“Ah, yes. Drake Walker - a modern-day martyr. Your life has been sooo difficult, what with the living rent-free at a palace, drinking top shelf whiskey, going horseback riding on private trails whenever you wanted. Tell me again of the great woes and tribulations that were thrust upon you because of your burdensome friendship with His Majesty. I know he asked so much of you.”

“Classic Leo, deflect away any real criticism. Nothing is ever your fault, is it? Your father expected too much. The world just didn’t understand you. You weren’t cut out for this life. It’s your own fucking greatest hits album, and I’m so goddamn sick of it. But you know what? Play the fucking victim. Tell me again how fucking hard your privileged little life is. I honestly don’t give a shit. But I’m not gonna stand here and listen to your bullshit tales of how I was somehow the one who mistreated Liam.”

“Let’s see - you fucked the woman he loved and left him alone while terrorists tried to kill him. Am I leaving out any other recent developments?”

“Are we just gonna pretend that the first 28 years of his life didn’t happen? Because last time I checked, you haven’t exactly been some beacon of brotherly support. And rich of you to give me shit for choosing one woman to be with when your whole life has been nothing but a string of girls you claimed were different that all the ones who came before. First there was Charlize, then Fiona, or did Katrina come before her? Then Gigi, and that redhead whose name I never did find out, then-”

“Liam wasn’t in love with any of them. Besides, it’s not like you were some celibate monk all those years.”

“Yet someone I was able to find a way to sleep with women and be there for Liam. You on the other hand, were always just a bit too busy to find time to call and check in.”

“I love my brother, and I tried to be there for him. I’m sorry if my best isn’t up to the impeccable Walker standards,” Leo sneered, finishing his drink and slamming his glass down on the bar.

“You tried? Really? Leo, you took a fucking private jet and dragged me away from my life because you couldn’t handle his actual emotions! Then you dumped the crown on him without a backwards glance! I was always the one who had to clean up the mess!”

Leo opened his mouth, undoubtedly ready to defend himself, but the door to the lounge swung open, stopping the two men in their tracks. There was Liam, a scowl etched across his face, “I thought it might be best to inform you that approximately half the palace can hear you right now.”

Drake swallowed roughly, trying to control the anger rolling off him in waves. Fucking Leo. At least he had the decency to look guilty, dropping his eyes to the bartop and taking a deep breath before he spoke again.

“How much did you hear, Liam?”

“More than enough, Leo. Would you mind giving me a moment with Drake?”

“I should have known you’d take his side.”

“You and I will talk later. Right now, I need to speak to Drake.”

Leo stared at Liam for just a second before shaking his head and brushing past him on his way out the door. Drake waited until his footsteps trailed off before he spoke.

“If you had heard some of the shit he was saying, Liam, you-”

“I did hear ‘some of the shit’ he said. I, along with numerous palace employees, heard many things that both of you said. That really isn’t important at the moment. What I’m most interested in is your statement that he dragged you away from your life.”

“Liam, come on. Let’s not do this.”

“Do what, exactly? I am merely asking you to clarify the circumstances under which my brother-”

“Cut the diplomatic bullshit. If you’re going to fight with me, don’t talk to me like I’m some foreign dignitary.”

Liam just shook his head, “I’m not trying to fight with you, Drake. I didn’t even know you were still in the country, so imagine my surprise to hear you and my brother with raised voices, airing what seems to be years of personal grievances loudly enough for all the staff to hear. I’m simply trying to figure out what set both of you off. Leo isn’t usually one who angers like that, so it strikes me that this might be serious.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I'm the one who flies off the handle? The hot-headed commoner can’t control his temper, huh?”

Liam’s eyes widened and he took a beat before he continued, “What the hell is going on with you, Drake? I’m not even sure why you are here, but you seem determined to be furious with someone right now. Why don’t you just take a deep breath and try and-”

“Don’t you dare try to tell me to calm down. Don’t fucking placate me just to fucking keep the peace. I’m not some foreign diplomat, Liam. I’m supposed to be your friend. So don’t fucking treat me like we’re in the midst of a treaty negotiation.”

Liam sighed heavily. “Drake, all I want to do is figure out what is bothering you. I care about you, and I know whatever transpired between you and Leo-”

“Cut the bullshit; you came in here with a purpose. You had a question for me.”

“That’s not important right now. Hearing the way you are getting upset, seeing you here at all, I just-”

“Ask me your goddamn question, Liam.”

Liam hesitated for just a moment. He was clearly trying to gauge whether Drake was past the point of no return here, some part of Drake’s mind could sense that fact. But right now, his blood was pumping. His frustrations from the past few weeks had boiled over, and he was pissed. At Leo. At his life. At himself. And Liam must have realized that, because he decided to feed the beast, knowing there was no other way for Drake to have any sort of rational discussion if he didn’t do him the courtesy of granting him this.

“What did you mean when you said Leo dragged you away from your life?”

“Did you really never figure out how I was able to afford a last minute flight to Cordonia when I was a broke university student?”

“Leo bought you your ticket back?”

Drake let out a harsh chuckle. “Try Leo fucking showed up on campus, took me in a towncar to a private airplane hanger, and put me on the fucking royal jet.”

A range of emotions rolled rapidly across Liam’s face. Confusion. Shock. Deliberation. But finally, a firm hardness settled into his eyes. Liam was in full-on negotiator mode. It wasn’t a role he had to play often, but when he did, it was always a sight to see. He was poised and calculated and sure. It was great to watch him corner people who mistook his kindness and compassion for weakness. Or at least, Drake had always reveled in it before, when it was directed at presumptuous foreign leaders or entitled and under-prepared nobles. He’d never felt it directed at him.

“So would it be fair to say that it was out of obligation, not friendship, that you returned to Cordonia?”

“No, I came back because I cared about you and I was worried about you.”

“But you never would have returned if it wasn’t made clear to you that I was struggling to cope. You weren’t worried about me. Leo, the fucking flakiest man on the planet, was worried about me. You just served your role. Well, consider you obligation to me over.”

“Liam, stop it!” Drake tried to cut it, but Liam was far from finished, his words piercing through the room like a dagger.

“I now understand what you meant about you being the one who had to clean up the mess. I was just some liability punted from Leo to you.”

“Come on, that’s not-.”

“No, you ‘come on,’ Drake. It was obviously in reference to me. In what ways was I such a burden to you? In what ways did I hold you back from your real life?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just-”

“How did you mean it Drake? Anyway I can fathom you meaning it undercuts years of friendship, does it not?”

“No, it doesn’t! This is a two-way street, Liam. I know for a fact that I’ve been a burden to you at some points, too.”

Liam paused, swallowing roughly before he continued. “I never saw it that way. I was grateful to be there for you, someone I consider to be family. You were never a burden to me.”

Drake sighed, “I’ve never been as optimistic as you. I’m sorry that my phrasing is harsh, but you know me. I’m not saying that your friendship is some drain on me. But it is a fact that I had to walk away from some things after that assassination attempt. And I don’t regret doing it; but yeah, I left some things behind.”

“Are you sure you don’t regret it? Because listening to you now, it certainly seems like you hold some resentment there, if it still affects you years after the fact.”

Drake rubbed his face. How had this spiraled into some discussion of his decision years ago? “Look, you needed me then. Everything else kind of fell by the wayside.”

“I may have appreciated your return, but I certainly didn’t need you. You didn’t even realize that I was struggling. I would have been perfectly able of coping on my own.”

Liam paced away from Drake at that, trying to put some distance between them. Honestly, it somehow pissed Drake off even more. This was fucking revisionist history bullshit, that Leo was some intuitive brother, a saint who tracked down a comfort for Liam out of the goodness of his heart, not some responsibility-phobic asshole who booked it the second things get hard.

“Liam, I don’t know whether you needed me or not. But the fact is having me here was helpful, so I stayed. Not just because Leo asked, but because I cared more about your struggles than my own.”

“But I never asked you to do that! And now, years after the fact, you somehow still find a way to hold that against me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Liam spun around and stalked over towards Drake. He had a burning look in his eyes, but he kept clenching and unclenching his fists, as if he were trying to hold back this raging fire of anger and pain inside of him.

“I always looked past the fact that you were envious of me, understanding that some of the privileges of my station might appear to outweigh the burdens from an outside perspective. But now, hearing all of this, I just wonder if…” Liam trailed off, seeming to gain control of himself once again before he continued speaking. “Nevermind, it’s not important.”

“No, go on and say it.” The anger churning inside Drake wanted, no needed, to hear whatever thought Liam had apparently had decided was worth censoring from him, the one person he was never supposed to have to censor himself around.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“That’s fucking infuriating. You started the thought; you might as well finish it.”

Liam closed his eyes briefly before opening them and staring Drake down. “Fine. I wonder if you didn’t pursue Riley as a way to get back at me.”

Drake paused for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around the absolute insanity he was hearing. “What the fuck, Liam?”

“Maybe not consciously, but yes, since you clearly have some sort of resentment you hold against me, I just have to wonder if you maybe you went after her because you knew how much I liked her.”

“Went after her- God, do you really think so little of me that you think I toyed around with some poor woman just as part of some misguided revenge against you? I don’t even know how to respond to that, Liam. It’s so fucking insulting.”

Liam dropped his gaze at Drake’s statement, having the good grace at least to realize that statement was pretty horrible, but Drake felt more and more words coming up. It seemed like once he and Liam started down this road, he just couldn’t stop the thoughts from flowing out, unchecked and without pause.

“And not just to me. She is a grown ass adult who is perfectly capable of making up her own mind about her own relationships. It’s not like she just sat around, staring off into space, waiting for one of us to come along and convince her to be with us.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth, Drake. It isn’t fair and you know it. I have never treated her with anything but the utmost respect and hospitality.”

“That’s how you treat a distant relative who needs a place to stay for a few days. It’s not how you treat someone you want to marry!”

“Well, I don’t think open disdain is the best way to treat a romantic partner, either.”

Drake knew it was an earned dig. After all, he hadn’t exactly held back with his early cruelty towards Riley when speaking with Liam all those months ago. But to have his first impressions thrown in his face, when he had eaten so much crow and opened up to the woman in question so much? When Liam seemed to be stuck on his own first impressions of Riley? It just pissed him off all over again.

“I at least always treated her as an equal. I didn’t put her on some impossible pedestal she was bound to crash from.”

“I did everything in my power to show a woman that I was falling for her, that I adored her, and somehow that is a problem? I respected her roots and her background with kindness and gentleness. I tried to arrange ways to make her feel comfortable in a new country. I researched how to woo someone who had never been part of the nobility. I did everything I could think of to welcome her into this world. I courted her the best way I knew. In fact, I showed her far more affection than any of the other women here for me, even though it weighed on me that I wasn’t treating the rest of them fairly. Explain to me, Drake, how that degree of romance is somehow less desirable than sarcasm and condescension.”

“You are so fucking blinded by your cloud of royal entitlement, and you can’t even fucking see it. ‘Here for you?’ News flash, Liam - Hana and Maxwell figured it that we were together. I’m pretty sure Bertrand did as well. Hell, my sister claims she knew something was going on between us, and she met Liu for all of an hour. Why is it that you are the only one who didn’t see that something was going on between us?”

Liam opened his mouth to retort, but Drake kept pushing, “I’ll tell you why - you like to think you’re this down to earth royal, but the fact of the matter is, you could never envision a woman willingly choosing to be with me when she had the option to be with you. And maybe I’ve been a shit friend to you in some ways, but guess what? That makes you a pretty shit friend, too. Because you’re willing to sit here and imply that my love is not real, just some petty revenge because you were more important than I could ever be. And you know what? It’s bullshit.”

“Tell me, Drake - what is the appropriate response in your mind when you find out the woman you were pursuing was sleeping with your best friend and neither one of them saw fit to clue you in?”

“She tried to clue you in. Sure, she could have been more blunt, I guess. But did you really not notice that she stopped sneaking away to meet up for all of your little secret rendezvous? Or how about the fact that she stopped kissing you? But you kept after her. Because of course she was into you. What woman wouldn’t be? Who would choose to be with the lowly commoner instead of the handsome king?”

“Instead of playing the victim here, you could at least treat me with enough respect to acknowledge that you, while claiming to be my best friend, lied to me and let me look like a fool. You could have saved me a lot of pain and heartache. You made the conscious decision not to, and yet you have the gall to stand here and act like I was the one in the wrong.”

Drake glanced away, taking a swig from his glass, but unfortunately it was empty. He couldn’t even get a little distraction as Liam let him have it.

“You always see the worst in people Drake. You claim they see you as less than, that you are somehow treated as worse than others around you based simply on the fact that you were born a commoner. But you never take ownership of your own actions. You expect to be treated with respect when earning your respect is a monumental task that almost no one could ever hope to achieve. You write people off simply for having the misfortune of being born to a different social class, not acknowledging that they have as much control over their heritage as you do over yours. And you expect to be treated with dignity without offering any in return.

“And I tolerated it, because I knew that there were some people that did treat you as second class, and because you always respected me enough to be one of the few people in my life who granted me complete honesty. But now, that is called into question, because you lied to me, repeatedly. And I have to wonder if you ever cared for me, how you could be so callous in the way you treated me in all of this?”

The question hung in the air, sitting there. It smothered the lounge in thick layer of suspense, neither man able to move forward and speak, yet at the same time unable to look away from each other. Drake felt equal parts guilty and damaged. It seemed like for every critique he’d had of Liam, Liam had his own to hurl right back. Neither one of them held the high ground here. They both were metaphorically beaten and bruised. Eventually, a sharp knock on the door broke the tense silence. After a few more seconds of staring at each other, Liam finally spoke.

“Come in.”

“Of fucking course,” thought Drake. Who else would be here but Olivia fucking Nevrakis?

“Your assistant told me I might find you here, but he looked awfully uncomfortable about that fact. Did he send me to interrupt a lover’s quarrel?”

Drake refused to dignify her with a response, but the complete silence from both of them clearly spoke volumes. Olivia rolled her eyes slightly before she spoke again.

“As much as I would like to stay for the inevitable brawl and see who wins this, I have something to discuss with His Majesty that’s rather time sensitive. Liam, do you mind?”

Liam turned to face Olivia, but even in profile, Drake could sense him plastering on his diplomatic mask once again. “Of course, Lady Olivia. Let’s head to my office.”

And without a backward glance, he was off, falling in stride with Olivia as the two of them exited the room. As soon as the lounge door swung shut, Drake sank into the closest chair, letting out a long sigh. He felt like he had just thrown up, but in that way when you’ve been nauseous all day from a stomach flu, and then when you finally puke, you somehow feel awful but somehow better all at the same time.

Telling Liam all these thoughts he’d kept to himself. Telling him the thoughts he didn’t even realize he’d been keeping to himself. Well, it was damn cathartic. To have it all out in the open felt like a relief. Even if Liam had his own issues to throw out there. Hell maybe because Liam had his own issues with him. Finally, they were talking. Really talking, not just beating around the apple tree. And that had to be progress, right?

Sure, as the adrenaline from the fight wore off, some of Liam’s barbs sunk in. And boy, did they sting. But at the end of the day, Drake somehow felt that this was better than their stilted half conversations and awkward small talk. At least this was real. And quite frankly, today kind of felt like rock bottom. That meant things could only improve from here. Drake just had to figure out how.

@dcbbw @mfackenthal @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley–walker @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @butindeed @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @feartheendlesssummer @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @ao719 @ooo-barff-ooo @octobereighth @sunnyxdazed

@wickedgypsymoon

@carabeth

#drake walker #drake x mc #king liam #trr liam #roe leo #trr #the royal romance #trr fanfic #choices trr #choices #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fanfiction

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kenshi-vakarian7 · 4 years

Note

Kira Ryder for the OC asks. Number 72 if you dont wanna answer all of them

This took a very long time, but I FINALLY completed this @alyssalenko ! Thank you for your patience. =)

---

1 - What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

She doesn’t have a nickname. Though there was that one and only time Luke called her ‘Ra Ra’ for no reason other than shits and giggles (and he was also tipsy). She put a stop to it right away by threatening to show his then-girlfriend pictures of him as a baby.

2 - What is the color of your OC’s eyes/hair/skin?

Blue, dark brown, and pale peach.

3- How tall is your OC?

5'7''

4 - What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

Her blue eyes, and her full lips.

5 - What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

She likes to wear her blue and black leather jacket and jeans most days. Some days, she'll wear a cute shirt. If it calls for it, she accessorize with earrings, necklaces, and the black scarf her mother gave her for her 18th birthday. On special nights, she's more dressy and likes to wear a nice blouse and mini skirt.

6 - What is one word you would use to describe your OC’s appearances?

Brave

7 - Does your OC have any markings, such as a birthmark or a scar?

She has a scar on her right hip. She got it from her time in the Alliance when she got too close to a batarian pirate while trying to help fight against a colony raid. Thankfully, it didn't go deep enough, but it did not heal right, hence the scar.

8 - How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

She sounds just as she does in the game, just with a little more twinge of confidence (especially since I usually pick the logical/professional response options with her).

9 - What does your OC’s bedroom look like? His/her living area?

On the Tempest, the room is bigger than she's used to, though she loves the panorama view of space. Aside from a couple of personal items, she's pretty much kept the room as it was when she first boarded. The only thing she wished she had was a freakin' private bathroom! Like, seriously, all that room and no bathroom?! Laaaaame...

10 - What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

Her old Alliance dog tags. It was the only thing she managed to keep from her days in the Alliance.

11 - What is your OC’s relationship with his/her mother?

She adores her mother and appreciates all the little things she's done for her and her brother over the years. They rarely fought and she likes to think she inherited her mother's compassion.

12 - What is your OC’s relationship with his/her father?

As a little girl, she adored her father and considered him her hero. She was close to him and wanted to be in the military just like he was once she was all grown up. Their relationship changed when she was a teenager as he became more distant and more strict. They fought a lot before she and her brother were sent to boarding school. After that, there was nothing but tension between them. After her mother died however, her father started to open up a bit more and their relationship before to slowly heal. They were still healing their relationship when he died not long after they arrived in Andromeda. These days, Kira tries to focus on the good memories.

She likes to think that she inherited her father’s bravery… and perhaps his stubborness.

13 - How many siblings does your OC and what is his/her relationship with them?

She has one brother, her twin Luke. Despite the fact that he could occasionally be a little annoying with his humor, they are in fact best friends who tell each other almost everything.

14 - Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life?

She actually doesn't have one… but at the very least, Drack has become more like a grandfather figure to her. She fondly calls him 'Gramps.'

15 - What was your OC’s childhood like?

Aside from growing up on a space station and having a father who was a little bit strict, her childhood was actually pretty normal. She had friends, went to school, went on family vacations, etc.

16 - What is your OC’s strongest childhood memory? Why and how as that impacted him/her?

There really isn’t another that was strong per se, but the ones that do stick to her were all the times she and her family would go on vacation to various places on Earth. Her favorite trip was the time they went to Norway and saw the Northern Lights. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her lifetime. She hopes to see something similar in Andromeda someday in order to re-experience that moment once more.

17 - What is your OC’s imagination like?

She normally imagines what the future would be like, like her career and even her romantic life. She's not big on weddings, but does like to imagine herself in her dream wedding gown.

18 - How many times did your OC move as a child? Which area was his/her favorite?

She spent the majority of her life on the Citadel, where she was born. Occasionally, she and her family would travel between there, the Sierras, Brazil (where her mother was born), and Arcturus Station where she and Luke attended the station's academy/Alliance Junior program (their version of high school). She really loves going to the Sierras more so for the view.

19 - What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

She doesn't mind children, and figured that it didn't matter in the end whether or not she became a mother. If it happens, it happens.

20 - What kind of mother/father would your OC be?

She'd like to think that she is as nurturing as a mother, and less strict than her father.

21 - Who are your OC’s closest relatives?

She adored her grandparents on both sides. otherwise, she wasn't really close with any of her aunts, uncles, or cousins.

22 - Who is/are your OC’s closest friend(s)?

Back in the Milky Way, her closest friend was Solana Vakarian, who was one of the few to stick by her till the end after the Ryder reputation got tarnished from her father’s AI experiments.

In Andromeda, she would become close to Vetra, who becomes like a sister to her, and Drack, who she fondly calls 'Gramps.'

23 - Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with?

Definitely her family and close friends.

24 - Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

Aside from those like the Archon, Kira really disliked Addison when she first met her. She could get her lack of trust in her since she was practically an unknown, but it really didn't sit well when she mentioned her 'goddamn father' while Kira was still reeling from his very recent death. The whole situation with Spender didn't help either, though once Addison stepped up, they started to get along a little better, at least professionally. Kira did appreciate the fact that Addison asked her how Luke was doing after everything he went through, but they otherwise didn't talk much unless it was about initiative business.

25 - If your OC has a soulmate, who is it?

A certain shady bastard from Kadara. 😋

26 - Why does your OC and his/her soulmate work so well together?

They relate to the fact that they're both leaders with big responsibilities (hers being more public of course). But one key thing is the fact that they treat the other like they are normal. Obviously it's more apparent in her case, but it's something he appreciates as well. In other words, they see and treat each other like normal human beings rather than an enigma/very-well connected smuggler.

Also, the sex is great! XD

27 - What are some things your OC admires about his/her soulmate?

She admires his practicality, resourcefulness (even if they came from shady dealings), and his ability to surprise her every now and then (except the High Noon mission of course - that’s one type of surprise she prefers not to experience again). She does envy the fact that he can work anonymously.

28 - How did your OC and his/her soulmate meet?

Evfra had them meet at Kralla's Song involving a mission to find one of his men. They were business partners at first, but the more time they spent together, the more they became infatuated with each other. One thing led to another, and as they say, the rest is history.

29 - What is your OC’s level of education?

She has a high school diploma, and went straight to a military career after that. She considered her options of a college education after the whole thing with her career went belly-up.

30 - Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they?

She mostly was involved in junior military programs while at the academy. She also enjoyings rock climbing.

31 - What is your OC’s opinion of school? What kind of student was s/he?

Kira knows education is important, but like many kids growing up, she'd rather stay home all day and have fun. She was an above-average student; never on the honor roll, but did well enough.

32 - What subjects did your OC excel at?

History and science.

33 - What subjects interested your OC?

Since she was young, Kira was always interested in military history. It helped give her insight on what life was like as a soldier, and perhaps what she could expect in our own career despite how 'results may vary.’

34 - What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession?

Dream job: a military career, which she was able to get before her family reputation was tarnished and she was discharged.

Current profession: The Andromeda Initiative's Human Pathfinder.

In the future, she becomes an arbitrator.

35 - How is your OC working towards his/her dream job and/or achieved his/her current profession?

She attended her academy’s programs to get a head-start in her military career, which was her dream job.

As the Human Pathfinder, she was forced into the role after her father’s death and she did the best she could with it.

Becoming an Arbitrator included a very long story involving a near all-out war between the Milky Way species and Angarans living on Kadara. In the end, while negotiating a peace treaty, the angarans wouldn’t accept anyone from the Milky Way to serve the role except Kira. Kira accepted the responsibility because not only would it finally give her an exit from her role as Pathfinder, but she finally found a means of staying on Kadara (and Reyes) for good. Her experience as Pathfinder would prove invaluable in her new job.

36 - What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession?

She knows she's making a big difference, especially after a very rough beginning for the entire initiative. That, at the very least, fulfills her, though after a couple of years, she'll grow tired of her profession.

37 - What is your OC’s biggest dream?

It’s quite simple… A decent house with a great view, surrounded by at least two to four cats, and equipped with a mini bar.

Before that, it was joining the military and making a difference, which she got to do for a little while. At least as Pathfinder, she did get to fully make a difference as she always dreamed about.

38- How does your OC react to and handle stress?

She works very well under stress, which she knows is essential in leadership roles. She believes her father prepared her to handle stress since she was young.

39- How does your OC handle anger?

She's very good about clamping it down in public. However, if she's desperate enough, she'll march to her room, smother her face into a pillow, and then scream into it at the top of her lungs.

40- How does your OC handle grief?

She usually handles it privately and is usually very good at compartmentalizing her emotions. Only very occasionally she loses control, and she really hates those moments.

41- What is your OC’s greatest fear?

Having everyone she loves die before her, leaving her completely alone.

42 - What makes your OC happy?

Trying new things.

43- What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

She occasionally shows some dry sarcasm. Every once in a while, she channels her brother’s humor, more so to someone who gives her an attitude for no reason… though she never lets Luke know that in order for him to keep his precious pride. =P

44- What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

The suffering of others, especially if she couldn’t save them.

45- What are some things that annoy your OC?

Entitled people, gatekeeping, and her brother’s humor (but only when she’s in a very bad mood).

46- If your OC has them, what are some regrets s/he has?

She had a friend she met on the Citadel named Jex who was also… a friend with benefits. Things were fine between them for a year and Jex proved to be a very supportive friend during that time since this was all going on while her mother was ill. However, at some point, Jex developed feelings for Kira and, one day, confessed to her. Initially, Kira rejected him because the last thing she wanted was to get hurt again after her last serious relationship ended badly.

Not long after, Kira went to Earth to say goodbye to her mother, who was on the brink of death. Her mother’s last words to her were, ‘Fall in love, at least once.’ Those words weighed heavy on Kira and soon, she came to realize that she couldn't be afraid to love anymore. She decided to open her heart to Jex, sending him a message to meet up once she arrived on the Citadel… which was attacked by Sovereign while she was traveling. Jex would die during that battle, but Kira wouldn’t find out until a few days later.

Holding back, letting herself be afraid, and not telling Jex how she felt are the things she would always regret.

47- How easily does your OC forgive?

It depends on the circumstances. She’s pretty good at detecting whether or not someone’s apology is genuine. Her gut instincts also help in these kinds of situations.

In general, Kira will forgive you depending on how sincere you are.

48- What are some of your OC’s vices?

Indulging in a little too much chocolate, having sex for stress relief, and (very, very rarely) drinking.

49- If your OC experienced trauma, what was it?

She never experienced trauma that affected her until she arrived in Andromeda. The first was when she was suffocating on Habitat 7, while adding the fact that her father sacrificed his life for hers. She developed a fear of suffocation because of it.

The second was discovering what the kett had done to the salarians on the Archon's Ship as well as making the choice to leave Pathfinder Raeka behind. That affected her more profoundly than SAM having to revive her later in the mission.

50- What secrets does your OC have?

She doesn’t really have any huge secrets, just little insignificant stuff. There is one little secret that her brother Luke knows about - and will absolutely murder him over - if he ever said one word about it to anyone in Andromeda.

The secret?

That embarrassing moment from one summer, while camping with friends on Earth at the start of their adulthood, when she lost her bikini top while swimming in the lake… and didn’t realize she lost until all of her friends (and her brother…) got a *ahem* view.

51- What are some of your OC’s morals?

Her morals are pretty basic; be compassionate, understanding, and shoot people between the eyes if they try to kill you and your friends.

52- What are some of your OC’s motivations?

Simply, she wants to make a difference in making the universe a better place.

53- What is the health of your OC?

Physically, she's very healthy and in top shape.

Considering everything she's been through, she's okay mentally, though the occasional nightmares plague her from time to time.

54- Does your OC think with his/her head or heart?

Her head, 98% of the time.

55- What are your OC’s thoughts on death?

To her, death is an inevitability that will come sooner or later, which is why she needed to make the most of her life. The only thing that she hopes for is to not die alone and/or painfully.

56 - What are some of your OC’s strengths?

Her bravery, leadership skills, and maintaining calm and morale during stressful situations.

57- What are some of your OC’s weaknesses?

Hiding her personal feelings, even from those she’s close to. Also chocolate.

58- How does your OC take criticism?

She’s fine with them as long as they’re constructive. If they’re insulting, she brushes them off and moves on. It’s not worth seething over.

59- What does your OC think of him/herself?

She likes to think of herself as responsible and braver than most. She does worry about the morale of others under her leadership and how they perceive her.

60- If your OC could change one thing about him/herself, what would it be?

To open a little bit of her vulnerable side so that she could show others that, she too, is just human.

61- What is the general impression your OC gives other people?

Mature and brave, but still very young and learning about the universe around her.

62- How emotionally/mentally vulnerable is your OC with other people?

She's very private about her emotions and vulnerability. As a matter of fact, she'd rather not show them off at all if she can help it, even around those she is closest to.

63- How does your OC display love?

She shows rather than tells through her actions.

64- What are some habits your OC has picked up?

Hiding away when upset, and overindulging on chocolate when stressed.

65- What is your OC’s favorite drink?

Whiskey and coffee. No, not at the same time!

66- What is your OC’s favorite foods?

Chocolate, sushi, and strawberries.

67- What is your OC’s favorite sweet?

Chocolate!

68- What is your OC’s favorite season?

Autumn

69- What is your OC’s favorite kind of weather?

Weather that is just cool enough for her to wear a sweater. Autumn is her ideal season.

70- What is your OC’s favorite book?

She doesn’t have a particular favorite book, but her favorite genre is mystery thriller.

71- What is your OC’s favorite movie and/or TV show?

She doesn’t have a particular favorite, but she does enjoy action films and comedy shows.

72- What is your OC’s favorite kind music (and song if there is one)?

Modern synthetic music that she could dance to in a nightclub.

73- What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment?

Nightclub dancing, concerts, and movies.

74- What is your OC’s favorite color?

Blue

75- What is your OC’s favorite scent?

Honeydew.

76- What is your OC’s favorite animal?

Cats 🐱

77- What is your OC’s favorite sound?

The crackling sound of an open fire.

78- What is your OC’s favorite time of day?

Definitely late evening. She feels most alive around this time.

79- What is your OC’s favorite kind of ice cream?

Chocolate fudge brownie.

80- What is your OC’s favorite dinosaur?

She personally finds the Saurolophus to be strangely adorable.

#kv7 ocs #kira ryder #mass effect andromeda

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deniigi · 5 years

Note

There’s a tornado coming towards my town and we’re all huddled in shelters. Got anything lying around to distract me?

I sure fucking do now!

I’ll give you two, here’s the first under the cut. I wrote it today, it’s basically Matthew Murdock’s Steps for How to Make a Family:

How to Make a Family

By Matt Murdock

Step 1. Have a dad.

Step 2. Lose your dad. Bemiserable. Great job, everyone. We’re doing amazing so far.

Step 3. Attempt to find areplacement dad.

Step 4. Fail abysmally.Like, make that shit stunning. Literally ruin your life for the rest of alleternity. Make yourself physically unlovable by all potential foster families,church members, and living humans. Don’t worry if you get tripped up by thisstep, you can repeat this one as many times as it takes for you to learn agoddamn lesson, but be equally warned: you will not learn that goddamn lesson.

Step 5. Go to law schoolbecause fuck it, why the hell not?

Step 6: fall in stupid,hopeless love with your roommate

Step 7: do not account forthe fact that the roommate maybe loves you back. Fuck no. REPRESS. THAT. SHIT.

Step 8. No longer repressthat shit. Accept the roommate. Embrace the roommate. Maybe drunkenly kiss theroommate and then make extraordinarily poor decisions with the roommateinvolving, at least at first, truly horrendous sex on a twin-sized bed.

Step 9. Meet your soulmatein the form of a tiny, angry woman set up to ruin your life by the first faileddad figure.

Step 10. Do not commit murder.

Step 11. Wave goodbye toyour soulmate and sob helplessly on your roommate. Don’t worry. Roomie ain’tgoing anywhere. Cling to this because it is the only thing you’ve got going foryou for the next three years.

Step 12. Have a fuckloadof casual and unhealthy relationships.

Step 13. Graduate.Accidently make a nemesis out of your roommate’s girlfriend who knows more thanhe does and possibly you do that you would do anything to be with the roommate.Including steal him from a perfectly respectable internship with a perfectlyrespectable job offer at the end of it.

Step 14. Set up a lawfirm.

Step 15. Acquire a client.This is family member #2. You will now kill for her. Congratulations.

Step 16. Attempt tosemi-murder some Russians

Step 17. Get found by yourroommate!!

Step 18. Get abandoned byyour roommate!! Well done, everyone, we are back down to one family member.Let’s hope nothing bad happens to them!!

Step 19. Get re-found byyour roommate!! Attempt to make up. Lie a lot about being better and morehonest in future. That’ll show ‘em.

Step 20. Become aterrorist?? Maybe skip this step if possible.

Step 21. Make anintentional nemesis of the Punisher. Congratulations! You have found familymember #3! It doesn’t matter if you don’t fucking want him, he’s yours now,baby!

Step 22. Ruin everyone inyour family’s lives with a botched trial! Break up with the Roommate. Cut tieswith family member #2. Do not fuck her.

Step 23. Re-kindle yoursexual relationship with your soulmate. Oh, by the way, she’s back. We’re goingto call her family member #4 now, ‘cause she’s harder to kill than a fuckingcockroach.

Step 24. Make the mistakeof allowing The Punisher (nemesis) and the soulmate to join forces.

Step 25: Just fuckingmurder your soulmate. Do it, you coward. Yeah, suffer them consequences, youpiece of shit.

Step 26. Get smashed. Getangry. Go out and nigh-eviscerate some folks. Don’t worry, you’ve got a couplemonths for this step/spiral.

Step 27. Trip over theSpider. Menace him. Say it’s his fault. Ignore all apologies and tell theSpider to get and keep the fuck out of your city or else. That’ll fix him.

Step 28. Go on anotherbender. Drink too much. Forget to eat. It’s fine, you’re not alone, you’llalways have the Devil to talk to.

Step 29. Accidently kickthe Spider in the head. Realize now that the Spider is approximately 12 yearsold and you just kicked him in the fucking head. Holy fuck, you fucking disgrace.You fucking child abuser. You are no better from your sensei, not evenan iota.

Step 30. Feel bad.

Step 31. Go on, you ain’tdone yet. I’ll tell you when to fucking stop.

Step 32. Orchestrateanother trip over the Spider. Do it gently this time. Make the same kind offuss but, when his voice does the horrible wavering thing, clear yours andannounce obnoxiously that there’s only one thing to do to stop this and its toteach the Spider how to fight properly.

Congratulations! You have foundfamily member #5! Aw, he’s so happy. Oh wow, he’s still talking.

Jesus fuck. He’s stilltalking.

Step 33. Meet Deadpool.Make tracks. You are an idiot, but not that kind of idiot.

Step 34. Meet Deadpool.Nearly die. Admit that Deadpool might have just saved your goddamn life.Reflect. Reflect. Reflect.

Step 35. Accidently set afoot outside HK and find yourself in the crossfire between a load of morons,Deadpool and the Spider. Do what you do best. Bask in the awe and approval ofthe giant man and the Spider afterwards.

Step 36. Get charmed ontoa team.

Wait. What?

Step 37. Investigate: why the fuck is the Spidercrying? Who has made the Spider so distraught? He is 12. 15, whatever. Theymust die, whoever they are.

Eliminate the threat. Maybe, sortof, kind of, give away your identity. It’s fine, it’s a mutual exchange. Hisname’s Peter Parker.

Step 38. Alright, a bigstep made up of many little ones, so stick with me. In the absence of reliablesupervision, make shit decisions. Drink too much. Work too much. Sleep never. FuckDeadpool. Yeah, go on. We all knew it was going to happen with your goddamntrack record, pal. Kind of make up with the Roommate and family member #2. Moreor less get back onto speaking terms with them. Hire an office coordinator andan intern for the summer. But most importantly, meet a tiny angry woman with ascarf. Guess what! She’s family member #6. Hey, y’all are mutual functionalalcoholics. Drink to that, babes.

Step 39. Fuck, there’smore. Okay, well. You’ve always wanted a weird brother. Two weird brothers. Oneweird brother and one big, grumpy brother. Oh, yeah. That’s fine. That’s cool.Let’s call them family members #7 and #8.

Damn, it’s getting kind ofcrowded in here.

Step 40. Hey, so. Dunno ifyou’ve noticed with all the bad decision-making things going on, but Deadpool justwent on a bender with you and brought you home at the end of it. He’s kind ofcool with your whole deal with the Roommate. So, that kind of makes him yourbiggest, weirdest family member. So, welcome #9 to the family.

Step 41. THE SOULMATE ISBACK. Girl, did we miss you!! Yeah, totally go out with her to the bottom of apit. That’s safe.

Step 42. Die.

Step 43. Wake up. That’sright, sleeping beauty. Death is still too kind for the likes of you. Hey, bythe way, this lady? You know her and guess what??? She’s been your fuckin’ momthis whole damn time. Congrats, you’ve found family member generation 1, #2.But now, since you are a fucking self-absorbed, suicidal piece of shit, let’scall her family member #10. Or hell, maybe family member #1, since you’ve lostliterally everything you’ve ever worked for and which ever mattered to you.Hell, yeah. Since you’re gonna die like an idiot soon anyways, why the fuck notstart over?

Hello family member #1. Nice tofinally make your acquaintance. Give us a few days to shake off the shock andwe’ll be right with you.

Step 44. Get the fuck backon the rails. Say thank you and I’m sorry to your goddamn mother, for fuck’ssake, she’s been here the whole damn time.

Step 45. Wake the fuck upand appreciate that the Spider and Deadpool and Jessica and Danny and Luke wereall worried as fuck about you. Feel ashamed for that. Bad dog, no biscuit.

Step 46. Celebrate acouple holidays with the guys.

Step 47. Nearly lose thekid, once to Stark, then once to the city.

That’s your baby brother. Yeah,it’s normal to not stop shaking sometimes.

Step 48. The Roommateloves you, you asshole. He and family member #2 want to start up a new firm.Yeah, it’s pretty great, but don’t cry though, ya moron. People are around.

Step 49. Wake up onemorning and realize that your family looks like the following:

Slightly-estrangedbut well-meaning mother

Best friend withthe great hair and a nose for trouble

Frank fuckingCastle (whether you want him or not)

A highlyfunctional alcoholic who thinks you’re funny but won’t admit it

The strangelittle cult-brother

The strangecult-brother’s girlfriend

Your nursefriend who you fucking failed to appreciate earlier, you shithead

The big,sometimes grumpy bullet-proof brother

Your secretary

A spider

The Spider’s mom

The Spider’sbest friend

The Spider’sother best friend/your intern

The merc with amouth

His cat

Your soulmate

Yourroommate/best friend/life partner

And your dad, youfucking moron, he’s been with you in your heart this whole time.

Step 50. Rinse and repeatthe relevant/applicable steps from 1 to 49 for those persons who seem more orless worth it for the foreseeable future.

#fic #matt murdock #didn't post it because the timelines for the DFV are a pain in my ass #but take it and feel better!#let me find another one #ficlet

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netflixandgrill-blog · 4 years

Text

How to Get Through a Quarantine in 10 Movies

(The Netflix and Grill Guide to Movies You Will Love to Hate)

1. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are both charming and pleasing to look at, but even they can’t out-act this God-awful script. We felt our minds wandering through all the exposition, so much so that the movie should be called How to Lose a Viewer in 10 Minutes (nailed it.) Kate Hudson’s gold dress was, and always will be, the star of this movie.

2. The Notebook

We both (separately) bought tickets for this movie in the theater when it was released in 2004, when the average movie ticket price was only about six bucks, and we both had the same thought upon leaving: “I definitely overpaid.” We watched it again on Netflix and, after figuring out our per-movie cost from our monthly subscription, found that this viewing cost us about 34 cents. We still think we overpaid. Someone needs to tell Allie she’s in an abusive relationship with Noah. Someone needs to tell Noah that no means no--an easy way to remember that is that it’s the first syllable of his name. We thought it was an interesting choice that Allie’s later dementia was foreshadowed by her younger self forgetting what accent she was supposed to have in any given scene. Allie the Sometimes Southern Belle is a flighty bird, Never-Say-Die Noah is a toxic male bird, and we wish we could fly back in time 2 hours.

3. Eat Pray Love

What could be less interesting than a well-off white woman traveling across the world to escape her first-world problems, the worst of which seems to be that her husband loved her too much and her subsequent much younger boyfriend loved her even more? Answer: nothing. Why this movie became such a phenomenon escapes us the same way Julia Roberts’ character escapes accountability for any of her shitty behavior.

4. Crazy, Stupid, Love

Ryan Gosling is a street-smart Brooklyn-Italian-sounding ladies man who says things like “Just bang the broad, Bah-fahn-gool. Fuhgeddaboutit.” (We paraphrased.) And Steve Carell was like, “Remember when we did 40-Year-Old Virgin? Let’s do the exact same thing again.” Let’s also not forget that boundaries and propriety don’t seem to be a thing in this movie, as the grown-assed babysitter gives nude pictures to a minor and we’re all supposed to be cool with it. A lot of people are crazy, stupid in love with this movie. We think they are crazy and stupid.

5. P.S. I Love You

This movie begins with what feels like a 3-hour exposition scene to set up the fact that Hilary Swank is oh-so-unhappy with the fact that she's already 28 years old and her carefree Irish husband hasn’t given her 5 kids yet. Also, their ultra-beautiful and hip New York apartment isn’t enough--why don’t they have a house already??!! Waaaaahhhhh. Then her husband dies, and Hilary’s already unlikeable character spirals from annoying into the realm of insufferable. The dead husband orchestrates a series of notes to be delivered to Hilary, still trying to please his sullen and ungrateful wife from beyond the grave, proving that he has just as poor taste in women in death as he did in life.

6. Catch and Release

Oh, we caught it, but we didn’t release it soon enough. We suffered through to the end. Why was Kevin Smith in this movie, and why was he trying so hard to be funny? The plot is so unclear and convoluted that we can’t tell you exactly what happened, but the bullet points are: Jennifer Garner’s fiancé dies, leaving behind a million bucks that she didn’t realize he had; she moves into a house with her dead fiancé’s buddies for some reason; her dead fiancé had a secret lover (Juliette Lewis) and possibly fathered a son with her; and, in the end, Jennifer Garner gets with Timothy Olyphant, her dead fiancé’s best friend. Why does all of this make for a compelling movie? It doesn’t. Why was this movie called Catch and Release? Beats the hell out of us. What could possibly account for this movie getting made? Our guess, cocaine.

7. Monster-in-Law

Monster-in-Law...more like a Monster Waste of Time (nailed it x 2). Jennifer Lopez is at war with her fiance’s mother (played by Jane Fonda), who has a death-like grip on her son, Michael Vartan. Jennifer Lopez is just a simple dog walker with the beachside apartment of a tech CEO who fell in love with the world’s biggest mama’s boy and got engaged to him after what seems to be four dates, a fact which Jane Fonda hates. Conflict ensues. And that’s it, just 102 minutes of that. Except for Wanda Sykes, the no-nonsense assistant and only sympathetic character, and you can practically see the sweat beading on her forehead from her straining to try and save this steaming pile. The other movies on this list we either loved or loved to hate. This one we just hated.

8. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Makers of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, you did it. You made a movie that not even Emma Stone, Matthew McConaughey, or Charles Goddamn Dickens could save. This movie came out eight years before the #metoo movement, and has aged about as well as Harvey Weinstein’s face. To be clear, it sucked regardless, but now it suffers from the double-whammy of both sucking and trying to evoke empathy for a sexual predator.

9. My Best Friend’s Wedding

In fairness, Heidi actually loves this movie, and Mike thinks it’s not the worst thing ever. Ok, he loves it too, in spite of (and sometimes because of) its many flaws. The movie begins with a music video that has nothing to do with the rest of the story, leading you wonder how it’s going to pay off, and yet it never does. It’s so laughably dumb that we both wish we had thought of it. Julia Roberts’ gay (2nd) best friend, Rupert Everett, flies in not once but twice to save her ass. And at the last minute, too, so you know those flight prices must have been steeeeeep. Which made us realize we need better best friends. Mike’s best friend stole his wallet. On his birthday. Heidi’s best friends are not quite so bad. They just forget her birthday.

10. Dear John

What a snooze fest. Any movie that Channing Tatum is in where he doesn’t dance isn’t worth watching. Any movie that Amanda Seyfried is in that’s not Mean Girls isn’t worth watching. Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum don’t get together, though. She instead marries family friend Henry Thomas, who even as he’s dying of cancer admits that he’s really only a sub-plot in Channing and Amanda’s life--a plot device more alien to us than the one in Henry Thomas’ most well-known role (Elliot in ET), in which he encounters an actual alien.

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birdlord · 4 years

Text

Everything I Watched in 2019

Movies

The number in parentheses is year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year.

01 The Death of Stalin (17) does a neat trick of building goodwill for Steve Buscemi’s Krushchev, then brutally pays that off in the last few minutes.

02 Sorry to Bother You (18)

03 Support the Girls (18)

04 Paddington (14)*

05 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (16)

06 Eighth Grade (18) probably the most terrifying movie I watched all year, if you didn’t watch it through your fingers, who even are you?

07 Morvern Callar (02) much less bleak than the book, but then, nearly anything would be

08 The Favourite (18) revolting and beautiful.

09 Columbus (17) a really lovely movie about architecture and parent-child relationships.

10 Bring it On (00)*

11 The Land of Steady Habits (18) feels wackier than your average Holofcener, but still a good watch.

12 Spotlight (15) i was really bowled over by this, and wasn’t expecting to be. Workmanlike filmmaking, but an extraordinary story, well-told.

13 The Killing of a Sacred Deer (17) Barry Keoghan is a blank, but somehow compelling screen presence. This one has an ending that made me bark with laughter.

14 Legends of the Fall (94)

15 Moneyball (11)* if you don’t feel like watching anything in particular, you can always watch Moneyball

16 If Beale St Could Talk (18) very beautiful, but I failed to connect with it on any other level.

17 For Keeps (88)

18 Abducted in Plain Sight (17)

19 Oscar Shorts (Animated) (18) the offerings were very sappy this year, but the winner was decent! Lots of Toronto content (weird).

20 Oscar Shorts (Live Action) (18) *unquestionably* the worst one of these won ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21 Velvet Buzzsaw (19)

22 Vice (18) ugh

23 Friends with Money (06)

24 Can You Ever Forgive Me (18)

25 Bohemian Rhapsody (18) haha what. was. that.

26 Mars Attacks (96)*

27 Paddington 2 (18)

28 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (92)*

29 Shoplifters (18)

30 Blindspotting (18) jacked Ethan Embry in a supporting role?! Whither? Howso? Wherefore?

31 Witness (85)

32 Harry & the Hendersons (87)*

33 The Matrix (99)*

34 T2 Trainspotting (17)

35 Blockers (18)

36 The Slums of Beverly Hills (98)

37 Can’t Hardly Wait (98)*

38 Avengers: Infinity War (18)

39 Iron Man II (10)

40 Isle of Dogs (18)

41 Chinatown (74)*

42 To Live & Die in LA (85)

43 Age of Innocence (93) Daniel Day-Lewis manages to make Newland Archer compelling, where in the novel he’s...the worst?!

44 Shopgirl (05)*

45 The House (17) didn’t sustain all the way through, but then, that’s how mainstream comedies often go.

46 The Beguiled (17)

47 Badlands (73)*

48 Poetic Justice (93)

49 The Empire Strikes Back (80)*

50 Calibre (18)

51 The Kindergarten Teacher (18)

52 Hounds of Love (17) a nice little Aussie thriller, set in the 80s

53 Kicking & Screaming (95)*

54 Octopussy (83)*

55 Jaws (79)*

56 Lover Come Back (61)

57 Frenzy (72)

58 Always Be My Maybe (19)

59 Certain Women (16) took a while to get to this one, but it’s as great as they say it is.

60 Baby Driver (17) all flash, little substance.

61 Sneakers (92)

62 Roadhouse (87)*

63 Bull Durham (88)*

64 Ghostbusters (84)*

65 Booksmart (19) I think this will improve on multiple viewings, though I loved the soundtrack and the mix of characters.

66 Hereditary (18)

67 Rebecca (40) George Sanders as Rebecca’s cousin is BRILLIANT

68 Vertigo (58)*

69 The Dead Don’t Die (19)

70 Crawl (19)

71 Dazed & Confused (93)* If you don’t watch this once a summer, what is wrong with you?

72 Jackie Brown (97)

73 Talk Radio (88)

74 The Guilty (18)

75 Killing Heydrich (17)

76 Lady Bird (17)*

77 Billy Elliot (00)*

78 White House Down (13)* Channing Potatum saves the White House!

79 The Film Worker (17)

80 Whitney (18)

81 Mascot (16)

82 Apocalypse Now (79)* technically I’d only seen the Redux version from the early 2000s, so the regular cut is new to me.

83 Apollo 13 (95)*

84 Psycho 2 (83) the twist is very guessable, but there are a couple of nice-looking scenes.

85 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (04)*

86 The Bodyguard (92)*

87 Murder Mystery (19)

88 Wildlife (18)

89 The Stepford Wives (75)*

90 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (71)*

91 The Natural (84)

92 The Other Boleyn Girl (08)

93 Speed (94)*

94 Opera (87)

95 That’s my Boy (12) haha what?!

96 The Big Short (15)

97 Elizabeth the Golden Age (07)

98 The Glass Castle (17) when I read the book, I genuinely thought it was fiction, it’s so insane.

99 Dawn of the Dead (78)*

100 All About Eve (50) lady on lady violence is a special thing

101 La La Land (16)

102 Morning Glory (10) remember Rachel McAdams?

103 Casino (95)*

104 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (06)

105 Pet Sematary (19)

106 Clue (85)*

107 Her Smell (18) amazing soundtrack and the songs were well-chosen. Heartbreaking musical moment in the final act.

108 Bobby Sands: 66 Days (16)

109 She’s Gotta Have it (86)

110 Good Morning (59)

111 Hustlers (19) I didn’t connect with this as much as the reviews led me to believe I might.

112 Nocturnal Animals (16)

113 Kill Bill Vol 1 (03) I’d only ever seen the second one before, being a non-Tarantino completionist.

114 Fried Green Tomatoes (91)* I watch this more than anticipated...

115 Steel Magnolias (89)

116 Notting Hill (99)*

117 A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (19) the tiny city models were inspired!

118 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89)*

119 Let It Snow (19)

120 Frozen (13)

121 The Irishman (19) most interesting as a sort of pastiche/reckoning on the part of Scorsese about his other gangster films. Really outmoded view of unions. Definitely could have been edited down if anyone were able to come to it without undue reverence, but I did love the bit about the fish.

122 Girls Trip (17) actual plot is beside the point.

123 About a Boy (02)* I always think of this as the “vomit and sweaters” movie, anyone else?

124 Animal House (78)*

DOCUMENTARY : FICTION - 4:120

THEATRE : HOME - 9:115

TV Series

01 Russian Doll - I think I would have enjoyed this more if it hadn’t been bingeable - would have made a nice week-by-week discussion sort of show. I loved to watch the changes between re-ups of our major characters, and I think the actual plotting would reward re-watches.

02 Catastrophe S4 - A satisfying ending to an excellent show, with very charismatic leads (and deeply weird supporting characters). Had to write around Carrie Fisher’s death, and I’m sure did a better job of it than Star Wars did.

03 Friends from College S2 - More of the same, which is what I was after. A show like cotton candy (but with more infidelity).

04 High Maintenance S3 - A lot more of this season took place outside of New York City, which was a great change of pace. And a great deal more information about The Guy and his own life; both difficulties and successes included.

05 Losers - This was a great little docuseries on Netflix that I didn’t hear a lot of people talking about - it’s about sports losses, but unusual sports ie curling, figure skating and the like. You’d think it would get repetitive, being as it’s always about recovering after loss, but it doesn’t! I wish they would make another season….

06 Shrill - a tight six episode dramedy about an alt-weekly journalist in the Pacific Northwest, based on Lindy West’s memoir of the same name. John Cameron Mitchell as her boss (based on Dan Savage) stands out of the ensemble cast, as does Annie’s roommate played by a British standup Lolly Adefope.

07 Broad City S5 - I haven’t always kept up with Broad City, but I came back to it for its final season, and thought it did a good job of setting its characters up for big changes in their lives.

08 I Think You Should Leave - It’s easy to assume that all sketch comedy is terrible and always will be, but then you see this, and throw your TV out the window (due to all the laffs)

09 Fleabag S2 - Everything you’ve heard is true, this season is goddamn hilarious and ridiculously sexy. A huge step up from the first season, which was already pretty fantastic and incisive.

10 Fosse/Verdon - Musicals are not particularly my bag, so I’m sure there was a lot that I missed in terms of references, but the lead performances ably carried me through all of the time jumps and various performances.

11 Stranger Things S3 - Say it after me: d-i-m-i-n-i-s-h-i-n-g r-e-t-u-r-n-s! Maya Hawke kills it, though.

12 Big Little Lies S2 - Unnecessary, and (if possible) even sillier than the first season.

13 Lorena - Part of the ongoing quest to rehabilitate the maligned women of the 1990s, this gave me tons of context that I had no idea about at the time, due to being a dumb kid.

14 Glow S3 - I felt like I was losing steam on this series this year, but episodes like the camping ep kept me coming back. A great ensemble, though some unusual character choices (like a certain kiss *cough*) took me out of it by times.

15 Lodge 49 S1-3 - I’d kept hearing about this show, so I finally sought it out. I can’t say it was amazingly compelling (I almost dropped it after the first season) but it’s definitely an oddball of a show, slipping from setpiece to setpiece with little regard for logic. For me, a background show.

16 Chernobyl - This show really gave me the Bad Feeling, humans were definitely A Mistake.

17 On Becoming a God in Central Florida - Kiki in a trashy mode, not as infinitely appealing as the version she pulled off in the second season of Fargo, but scrappy and industrious nonetheless.

18 Show Me a Hero - I’d put off watching this for years, it felt like it was going to be too dull (housing policy in Yonkers?) but it’s great, and larded up with Bruce Springsteen songs, obvs.

19 Great British Bake Off S9-S10 - I’d also held off on watching this for a long time, out of loyalty to Mel, Sue, and Mary Berry. But I needed some comfort viewing towards the end of the summer, and the new hosts and judge do an able job, although the show’s tropes are feeling a bit well-worn at this point.

20 Righteous Gemstones S1 - A rollicking ride for sure, with a great cast. Your mileage/patience with Danny McBride may vary, so keep that in mind, naturally.

21 This Way Up S1 - A small show starring the fabulous Aisling Bea, about mental health and families and some nice comic physical acting. Oh, and in case you were watching The Crown and crushing on Tobias Menzies’ version of Prince Phillip, he plays a hot dad love interest in this, which gives you all the Tobias you’re looking for, without the PP racisms.

22 The Crown S3 - This is the first season of the big cast switchover, and I thought it stuck reasonably well, once we were in it an episode or two. This season concentrated even less on Elizabeth herself, preferring her sister, husband, and (newly!) her children.

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mortallycoldmagazine · 5 years

Text

Fic Recs!

So apparently it’s fanfic appreciation day? In celebration, here are some of my favourite fanfics- all MCU. I love them with my entire heart. READ THEM ALL! :D (mostly stucky and stony, fyi)

THIS IS IN COMPLETELY RANDOM ORDER.

1) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817463/chapters/31774497 - this is the only post-CACW ‘make-up’ fic that seems hella realistic and makes me actually forgive Steve. 114k

2) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14317536/chapters/33037362 - in which Bucky can turn into a white wolf, and how that affects the MCU’s natural pattern. 141k

3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910729/chapters/34537617 - In which Steve is Hades and Toni (fem!Tony) is Persephone. I love powerful, dark!Toni. It’s so beautiful. 41k

4) https://archiveofourown.org/series/41492 - If you want to cry like a baby, read this. AU where Tony comes back from Afghanistan and is diagnosed with cancer. SO DAMN POWERFUL. I’ve only read it once because it makes me Feel So Strongly agh. 290k

5) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7123282 - the first crack fic on this list! Teacher!AU in which Bucky and Steve are teachers at school who are infamous for their hatred for each other... and no-one knows they’re secretly married. Shoutout to @lesbiandanbeau for introducing it to me, it’s SO MUCH FUN. 18k

6) https://archiveofourown.org/series/582637 - incomplete series but it’s SO GOOD. In which HYDRA doesn’t give Bucky the serum- instead, they turn him into a sex demon. Contains a LOT of dub-con/non-con but it’s so damn good. 336k

7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/6606808/chapters/15115414 - powerful Fem!Tony (toni) makes me * feel things *. Pants things. Because she’s so badass, goddamn woman. (aka: the MCU...if Tony was actually Toni).

8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176539/chapters/37798343 - even more fem!Tony. But this time, Toni has some ancient bloodlines to back her up. (vampire-ish, Addams family inspired Toni). Toni could bash my kneecaps in and I’d say thank you.

9) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13640571/chapters/31325814 - in which Bucky is an (illegal) necromancer and Steve is the SHIELD agent that catches him in the act. But in a sudden change of heart, Steve lets Bucky go... and their relationship evolves from there :D

10) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18347003 -honestly, I’m surprised this is the first Soulmate!AU on here because I’m SUCH. A. SUCKER. For soulmate AUs. Steve/Bucky/Tony, with ‘writing on skin = I can see it on my skin’ soulmate AU. Beautiful. Captures Tony’s character really, really well. Damn. 30k

11) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1614746/chapters/3439820 - OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD. I’ve always wondered what would happen if Bucky came back from CA:TWS and was completely and utterly compliant, and Steve didn’t realize just *how* deep it went. This answers that question. SO GOOD. 102k

12) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823671/chapters/29276760 - in which Bucky’s mask is nailed to his face... but Steve saves the Winter Soldier anyway. It’s amazing. Goddamn. Read it. 71k

13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504761/chapters/19490446 - in which Steve is Death. Yes, Death. But Bucky is still Bucky. AKA: The story of how Bucky and Death somehow fall in love. 16k

14) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469145/chapters/16973895 - IF YOU LIKE WHUMP, THIS IS 426K OF THE BEST WHUMP I’VE EVER READ. There basically isn’t a single moment when someone isn’t being punched, stabbed, whipped, starved, something. In which Steve and Tony are abducted by aliens and sold into a slave mining camp. I love it with my whole-ass heart. 426k

15) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16295684 - one of the shortest fics on this list, but it makes me cry + feel hella empowered + fall deeper in love with Steve Rogers every time I read in. Aka- six times Steve was aggressively pro-choice. READ IT. 5k

16) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779137/chapters/26559057 - you know how everyone reads a book in their lifetime that literally changes who they are as a person? This is that book, for me. It is so beautifully written, incredibly powerful, respectful, introspective, philosophical... I could literally rant about it all day. Wow. In which Steve Rogers and his Howling Commandos liberate a concentration camp; their mission? The rescue and rehabilitation of prisoners experimented on by Arnim Zola, among them, a man named Bucky. SO. AMAZING. 47k

17) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204610 - crack at it’s finest. In which a Very Stoic Winter Soldier has a secret boyfriend. That none of his teammates know about. (spoiler alert: it’s modern!Steve). And his teammates * might * be under the impression that he’s actually a dog. 17k

18) https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476579 - OH FUCK. This fic makes me cry faster, and more, than any other fic I’ve ever read. Literally- 8k, and I cry at *least * three times every single time I read it. I don’t even know why- it’s just so, incredibly, absolutely bittersweet. I love it. Read it. In which post-CATWS Bucky has a lot of brain damage, and is making his way through life despite it. Wow. 8k

19) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838204/chapters/26720631 - in which Steve jumped after Bucky, and HYDRA acquired two Assets. SEE IT’S SO GOOD EVEN THE SUMMARY IS AMAZING. WOAH. SO GOOD. 55K

20) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271731/chapters/16511242 - In which HYDRA kidnaps five-year-old Tony Stark, and raises him as ‘The Mechanic’. Of course, that doesn’t stop him from becoming IronMan. Or an Avenger. 54k

21) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16457597/chapters/38540813 - SO GOOD. I’m a sucker for healing/recovering fics, but who cares. Amazing. Steve/Bucky

22) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787102/chapters/44573662 - 3K OF AMAZINGNESS THAT’S INCOMPLETE AND MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT. SO GOOD. SO GOOD. HOW IS IT SO GOOD. WTF. Irondad.... but not. Aka, Peter Parker travels through the multiverse to try and find Tony Stark. But instead, he finds someone with the same face.... whose name is Robert Downey Junior? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH 3K

23) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772824/chapters/34165730 - this makes me feel. So Soft. You don’t understand. If you want 93k of Steve fretting about nothing and Bucky being confused yet adorable, this is for you. I love it with my entire heart. 93k.

24) https://archiveofourown.org/works/349478 - WHY DOES NO-ONE TALK ABOUT THIS FIC. In which Tony gets amnesia, and starts forgetting things. And people. and Steve. 43k

25) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912708/chapters/29501541 - CRACK AT IT’S FINEST. I love this so much. Tony comes out as Ironman, and the entire world goes ‘yeah, right. no.’ It evolves from there... I’ve literally been ON THE FLOOR IN TEARS from laughter from this fic. I love it. Winteriron. 19k.

26) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15878580/chapters/36997887 - another AMAZING crack fic. The metaphors are hilarious. You don’t understand how much I love this fic. It’s more than, like, Bucky loves plums. I LOVE IT. 44k

27) https://archiveofourown.org/series/597010 - modern!bucky + cap!Steve. Bucky is the sassiest person ever and i love him for it. Read this series. You won’t regret it. 33k

28) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555630 - Why am I such a sucker for crack fics. 4k. steve/bucky. I love it. read it. it’ll take 5 minutes and your day will be So Much Better. 4k

29) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1021446 - lmao. In which a Very Stoic Winter Soldier has a secret boyfriend. (spoiler alert: it’s Steve). “BUT WAIT!” I hear you say. “Didn’t you already rec this fic? Wasn’t that #17?” and I reply “YOU FOOLS! I LOVE THIS TROPE SO MUCH I’M RECCING TWO FICS OF IT BECAUSE IT OWNS MY ENTIRE HEART!” and then you read them both. 2k.

30) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13414524 - in which a Very Drunk modern!Bucky is dared by the modern!Howling Commandoes to ask this guy in a bar for a piggy back ride. Spoiler: the guy is cap!Steve. crack. the best group-chat fic I’ve ever read. 2k

31) https://archiveofourown.org/works/2741975/chapters/6146123 - if you want the longest, most exhaustive breakdown of Stucky ever, this is your fic. 731k ( YES 731K) OF AMAZING METAPHORS, emotions, and so. much. pining. I love it. 731k.

32) https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577 - Post-CATWS. Bucky is addicted to heroine. and has adopted two children. What else is new? 131k

33) https://archiveofourown.org/works/10720710/chapters/23753940 - if you haven’t read Celestial Navigation, can you actually call yourself part of the MCU fandom? It’s. So good. I’m in awe. Always makes me cry lmao. 210k

34) https://archiveofourown.org/series/195689 jesus christ this is good and emotional and heartfelt and sincere and funny and just the best thing ever read IT. Post-CATWS. Bucky’s new mission: protect Steve Rogers. Now, if only Steve was aware of this fact, and would stop looking for him. 264k.

35) https://archiveofourown.org/series/429256 - * claps hands * UNDERAPPRECIATED FIC TIME. In which post-CATWS Bucky is taking down Hydra, recovering, listening to music, and.... has a psychic connection with a spaceship? Okay then.

36) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1120239 - so damn good. In which Peter Stark is abducted at 6 years old by HYDRA, and trained to be the infamous Black Spider assassin. What happens when, ten years later, Ironman captures him? 139k

37) https://archiveofourown.org/series/780747 - the most well-written, in character MJ I’ve ever read. MJ/Peter. I love it with my entire heart. They’re so cute.

If I had to pick a top 5, though, they would be: 35, 33, 32, 23, and 34. (see corresponding list numbers) Perhaps. Choosing that was like choosing a favourite child ohmygod. Really, just read all the fics.

Hope this helped you find some new fics to read! Happy reading, and have a great Fanfic Appreciation Day!

______

Here I’m tagging a bunch of people who I follow and are into the MCU that I think might like this. Sorry if this is annoying.

@petersbenjamin @pepperony3000 @antifastark @sleepyrhodey @sapphirestark @mariahiill @vanddyne @spideyjlaw @magunahstark @iron--spider @proof-tony-stark-has-a-heart @stevebuckyfics @hufflebucky @rescuetony @tropicalcap @fucking-hell-sebastian-stan @fuckyeahblackwidow @sabrecmcstonyficrecs @nacho-bucky @jaamesbbarnes @ironfamjam @underoosstark @yellowdistress @lesbiandanbeau @musings-on-bucky-barnes @the-ss-horniest-book-club @fysebastianstan @siriuslypersea @omg-just-peachy @tonystarkd @cptniron @sad-stark @antifastark @caroldanverts @sleepytony @madasthesea @serumsteve @incorrect-spiderson @kentuckybarnes @evanstar @holostark

________

Feel free to tag anyone else you think might enjoy this! :D

#fanfic appreciation day #fic rec #rec #fanfic #MCU #stucky #stony

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scotch-and-roses · 4 years

Text

I wish I could just throw myself into my work to deal with my grief. Unfortunately ADHD and trouble focusing has not been helped by dealing with grief. I’ll start to hyperfocus, then have an intrusive thought about “why hasn’t the Princess come over to yell at me for not having gone to bed yet?” or I’ll look over at the bed expecting to see her curled up asleep to give myself a boost of warmth/comfort, and instead be confronted by an empty bed. Logically I knew that this would happen eventually. She had kidney disease and it wasn’t ever going to get better. I just really hoped that it wouldn’t happen while I was in grad school. I knew that coping with the loss of her while undergoing the stress of grad school would be amazingly difficult, and the idea terrified me. Just thinking of the day that I would lose her was enough to send me into tears. And the reality is that some days feel impossible to get through. And I haven’t figured out a way to keep myself together and productive when I hit those walls. Instead I just kinda fall apart. And I’m still so behind on my work from the migraines at the beginning of the quarter. I am literally down to the wire now. And I just keep alternating between feeling numb and feeling shattered. I have been pulling out of it more, feeling more functional again. There’s just so much all at once. I need to completely rebuild myself in some ways, and I just haven’t had the time or space to do that. And everything is suffering as a result. She was my emotional support/touchstone and this being that loved me and that I loved and cared for and having that routine gave me more purpose and I built my routines around her needs. Not having that framework has left me feeling extremely untethered. And I’m sorry y’all for having to deal with the constant stream of me talking about this, I appreciate the support and love you’ve all shown. This is just part of me processing really. Writing things out helps get it out of my head/helps me to work through the emotions. I just keep hoping that it won’t be real. It doesn’t feel like it should be real. I miss her so damn much. And there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it. The last time I was apart from her for so long was when I was at Reed and lived in the dorms and she stayed with papa. But papa and I talked nearly every day so I’d get daily kitty updates and pictures sometimes. And she was always waiting for me when I got home from school. But this isn’t like that. She isn’t just somewhere else, waiting for me to come home. She’s gone. And now matter how badly I want that to not be the case, that’s how it is. She’s just gone. And I hate it. I wish so badly that I could hold her again and feel her warmth and softness and hear her purr. And it’s never going to happen. Sure, there will be other cats in my life again at some point. But they’ll never be her. I think my earliest memory is from about the age of 3. I’m 28 now, which means I have approximately 25 years of memories. I had Princess for 13 years. That means that over half of my life that I remember she was a part of. She was part of my family and one of the beings that I cared the most about in this world. Most of my friends have not been in my life for as long as she was at this point. She was this huge, important part of my life. And now that’s gone. I have the memories, and I cherish them. But it’s not the same. When I come home from a bad day I don’t have her to come sit on me and purr or take a nap with her curled up against my chest. And it’s just all these compounding things. Going through stress with school, or relationship drama, or worrying about financial stuff, and then not having my fuzzy creature that gave me comfort just takes that stress or whatever and then piles grief on top of it. Until I feel like I can’t breathe, like I’m drowning. Part of me wants to just give in. Give in to the depression, to just curl up and give up on trying to be productive and functional. To just blow off my work, my classes, everything. Because it is so hard. And I feel like my professors are being patient, but are also annoyed with me. And I don’t know how to explain to them how much I’m struggling. That I’m trying, but it’s all just so much and I am barely staying functional. Just doing the daily things that I need to do like eating and showering, keeping the apartment relatively orderly so that I’m not being a horrible roommate, they take so much energy right now. Going to class, grading, doing assignments on top of that is incredibly difficult. And I keep emailing them apologizing for the migraines, for missing class again and again because of them, and because some days the grief is too overwhelming. And I’m just terrified that they’re going to respond with “no, you’ve missed too much, you haven’t done enough, that’s not a valid reason, do better” and that I’m going to fail. I don’t want to. As tempting as it is to give up sometimes, I don’t want to. For one thing, Princess would be pissed. She hated when I was depressed. And this goddamn paper is now three hours overdue and I am torn between trying to pull myself out of this spiral and finishing it tonight like I planned or emailing the professor and once again begging for understanding and more time. It was a month two days ago since I lost her. And the pain is still tearing me apart. But I feel like emailing the professor and asking for more time again, that she’ll dismiss me. That because it’s been a month I shouldn’t be having these breakdowns anymore. That I should be better. And I think I’m slowly getting better. But I’m not better. I’m still a mess of tears and snot and emotions and I’m still trying to figure out how to piece my life back together. And I’m so tired. God I’m so tired. This is exhausting. I’ve always been a very emotional person, I joke that on a dial of 1-10, my emotions are turned up to 11. I feel a lot of things and I feel them very strongly. I love fiercely and strongly, and likewise I feel grief in the same way. And it is so draining. And Princess was my battery pack, she helped me recharge. And learning how to function without that, figuring out how to compensate for that loss, is overwhelming. And I can’t help wishing I could go back. Take her to the vet sooner. Spend more time with her. Something. Anything. And I can’t. And it sucks. So much. I just keep blaming myself. If I’d done more or something different. If I hadn’t spent so much time hanging out with friends away from home. If I’d been more diligent in her diet. If I’d seen about getting her some kind of medication. Anything to give myself more time with her. And I could have, at the end. She could have been hospitalized, had her kidneys completely flushed, been placed on fluids and things for multiple days. But her levels were so high that it would have been temporary. A way to get her feeling a little better for who knows how long just so that I could have more time. And that felt wrong. It felt wrong to put her through that just so that I didn’t have to say goodbye so soon. And I hate that I wish I had. Because I miss her so goddamn much and would give anything right now to have more time. Even though it would have meant her possibly suffering and me going into thousands of dollars of debt. And I know I made the right choice. But god it was so hard. And I wish I never had to make it. And for the last 13 years she’s been here to help me through hard times like this. When I’m crying in the middle of the night and don’t have anyone to talk to, don’t want to bother anyone, I had her. And it feels like I’m just stuck in this horrible loop where I miss her and it hurts, and I want to cuddle her because that’s how I’ve dealt with similar pain in the past, but she’s gone so I can’t, and it hurts more, and it just keeps going until I’m curled up on the bed, sobbing, with my arms wrapped around me because it feels like if I don’t physically hold myself together I’ll shatter into a million pieces. And I sob until I’m gasping for breath and I can’t see a way through the pain. I don’t know how to make it stop. Papa keeps telling me to “compartmentalize” and “just cherish the memories”. And I want to scream because that’s not how I work. If I could just flip a switch like that or tuck things into neat boxes, don’t you think I would? I don’t want to feel like I’m drowning. But I can’t just turn off my emotions or decide to feel something different. And he criticizes me for being so open, so giving of myself, for investing so much. And maybe it is a flaw, maybe I do need to work on closing myself off more. Perhaps I need to find ways to temper myself. But I feel like that’s work to be done when I’m not in the middle of emotional upheaval. I can only do so much at one time. And right now I’m at capacity, I’m over capacity really. So tired. Both physically and mentally/emotionally right now. I don’t want to email my professor, but I think I have to. Dammit.

#my life #personal nonsense #grief processing #because who doesn't want to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night when trying to write a final paper

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