#20 was such a funny number to me I’m sorry

[simplyghosting]

Friend: Oh, I haven’t seen that much anime. Only 2 shows.

Friend: My husband is the one who’s been into it for a long time. He’s seen 20.

Me, who has seen at least 70: 👁 👁

#ghost posts #20 was such a funny number to me I’m sorry #I spent a lot of time on anime in high school #more than I should have #granted I won’t say watched that many all the way through #bc I got bored or busy #but I’ve seen episodes of at least that many #i used to have a list #I HAD TO RECOMMEND FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST #SHE HASNT SEEN IT NEW VICTIM

[zibah-ho]

lmao I just remembered the most fucked up thing from when I was a kid but objectively it’s kinda funny and I. It’s so fucked up but it happened to me so I can laugh.

#wheeze I’m. #suicide mention in tags #10 years ago my mom still paid my phone bill bc child and saw the numbers I called and for how long obv and when the statement came for feb #she went ballistic on me about who I’d been calling for an hour on Valentine’s Day and why I wasn’t saying anything she knows I’m lying and #she’s gonna call the number and ask them and 20 minutes into us arguing and her berating me she picks the phone up to call them #and i had to tell her it was a suicide hotline and she stops yelling for a minute and then says well you could have just told me #okay it’s not as funny when you tell it but it’s still funny I’m sorry why didn’t I tell you? hello??? #anyway I’m 25 now and she still makes me wanna kms lol :) #zh.txt

[elliespassagerprincess]

Can we please get some milf Abby or Ellie the lesbians who like older women are in a drought

💘

Headcannons: milf!abby anderson x reader

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

☆ Milf Abby who was divorced and who had full custody of her 4-year-old daughter.

☆ Milf Abby who worked as a lawyer and got her daughter into the best schools.

☆ Milf Abby who went to a parent teacher meeting, to meet her daughters’ new teacher.

☆ Milf Abby who met you for the first time and thought you were the prettiest thing she’d ever seen.

☆ Milf Abby who stood behind everyone else because you made her shy.

☆ Milf Abby whose palms felt sweaty when you walked close to the direction where she was standing.

☆ Milf Abby whose heart rate increased when you asked the parents “any questions?” with a smile.

☆ Milf Abby who went home that night and stared at the ceiling because she just saw an angel.

☆ Milf Abby who asks her daughter about you the next morning.

“What’s she like?” Abby asked as she placed the plate of scrambled eggs in front of Aubrey.

“she’s nice” the little girl started. “she always likes my drawings, and she tells funny stories!”

A small smile appeared on Abby’s face.

Pretty and funny, huh?

“she’s pretty too” Aubrey said with her mouth full off eggs. Abby chuckled at that.

“Your right baby, she is”

☆ Milf Abby who almost shit herself when Aubrey told you that she finds you pretty.

“You did what?” Abby said frantically.

“I told my teacher that you said she was pretty”

Abby groaned, her large hand coming to rub her temples.

“Baby you aren’t supposed to tell that to people, it was a secret”

“Yeah, it was red ones”

“But Heathers dad brought her flowers, and that’s not a secret”

“what?”

“roses?”

“I think so” she spoke

☆ Milf Abby who gets jealous even though she barley knows anything about you.

☆ Milf Abby who watches Heathers dad bring you snacks almost daily when she picks up Aubrey.

☆ Milf Abby who wants to vomit every time you smile at him.

☆ Milf Abby who realizes she had to make a move.

☆ Milf Abby who was nervous because it’s been a while since she’s asked someone on a date.

☆ Milf Abby who writes you a letter and sends it with her daughter.

“My mommy sent you this” Aubrey ran to you with a white envelope. You thanked her, as you opened the letter, eyes widening at what it had to say:

“Hi, are you Tennessee because you’re the only ten I see.

I’m sorry I know that was inappropriate I didn’t know what to say.

Would you like to go on a date with me? I promise no cheesy pickup lines”

☆ Milf Abby who almost jumps out of her car when she sees you walking towards her.

☆ Milf Abby who rolls down the window and tries to act cool.

“Sup” she said, but soon cringed.

You giggled “I’d love to go on a date with you Miss Anderson”

“Call me Abby”

“Abby… I’d love to go out with you”

A grin spread onto the blondes face.

“Friday?”

“Friday”

☆ Milf Abby who fist bumps the air because she’s just that excited.

☆ Milf Abby who almost cancelled because she was so nervous.

☆ Milf Abby who asks her 4-year-old outfit advice.

“What about this?”

“No”

“Aubrey you can’t keep saying no”

“But I don’t like it”

☆ Milf Abby who kisses her daughter goodbye as she bought you a bigger bouquet of roses.

☆ Milf Abby who takes you to a fancy restaurant to impress you.

☆ Milf Abby who finds out you were 20 years younger than her.

Abby blinked a couple of times at the information.

“26?”

“yeah… do I not look my age you?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You really don’t”

☆ Milf Abby who enjoys the date more than she intended to.

☆ Milf Abby who almost combusts when you gave her a kiss on the cheek.

☆ Milf Abby who goes home that night in denial that she liked someone so young.

Age is nothing but a number, but you were years younger. What were you doing with someone like her? Why her? Why not someone your age? What happens if Abby grows so old that you become bored?

☆ Milf Abby who ghosts you for 5 months.

☆ Milf Abby who avoids looking at you when she gets her daughter from school.

☆ Milf Abby who ignores your texts because she thought you deserve someone better.

☆ Milf Abby’s daughter who gave her an awaking.

“Can you stop crying at night mommy? It makes noise”

Abby looked up from the stove.

“you hear that?”

“Yes”

A few seconds of silence passed before Aubrey spoke again. “You made my teacher sad”

“she’s sad?”

“yes and she asked me about you”

“and what did you say?”

“Nothing, you said it was a secret” Abby groaned at Aubrey’s response

“you need to stop pushing people away because you’re insecure”

Abby looked at Aubrey with wide eyes.

She was right, because Abby was so insecure she’s losing a perfect girl because she was scared. How sure was she that you would leave her? How sure was she that you were only using her? Maybe you were the one.

“Where did you hear those words?”

“from grandpa” she said with a shoulder shrug.

“He said that to Nora”

Your back was facing the door as you were writing something on the board.

“of course he did”

☆ Milf Abby who goes to your classroom the next day with flowers.

“I’m sorry” she spoke. She watched you flinched as you turned around.

“what?”

“I’m sorry for just disappearing and not saying anything”

“ok” was all you said as you turned back around to continue writing.

Abby walked towards you with long strides.

“no- no don’t say ok please- give me a chance”

she watched you sigh as you turned around:

“look Miss Anderson-“

“Abby”

“Miss Anderson” you said through gritted teeth.

“It’s ok, this should have not happened”

“Don’t say that”

“Let’s move on, I’ll pretend this never happened” you said with a fake smile on your face.

“god you’re so-“  before Abby could even finish her sentence she grabbed your face, and caught your lips in a kiss.

☆ Milf Abby who was surprised when you kissed her back.

☆ Milf Abby who whimpered when you pulled away.

“What can I do to fix this?” she spoke as she held your face.

“take me out on a date again”

a smile spread on the blondes face: “yeah I’ll do that”

☆ Milf Abby who realizes you won’t make it easy for her.

☆ Milf Abby who was willing to work for this relationship because you were worth it.

#abby anderson #abby anderson angst #abby anderson drabble #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson fanfiction #abby anderson fic #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson headcanons #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson smut #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson x f!reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x you #abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby tlou2 #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby x y/n #abby x you #tlou abby #tlou art

[whyse7vn]

LEAKED -

[ ot7 x reader ]

EXO 💜

8 participants - 7 online

———————————

jimin: namjoon is having an episode rn

y/n: is it a beach one?

namjoon: THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS I SMOKE CRACK??:)::£:££;,&&

jin: don’t think it’s a beach one

jk: i think we’re gonna go to jail :/

yoongi: how tf did the gc even get leaked?

hobi: it was god punishing us for our sins

yoongi: what

hobi: smoked some weed and god told me himself no joke

y/n: when are you not high at this point…

jimin: did you leak it hobi?

hobi: i’ll leak ur nudes

jimin: you don’t have my nudes

hobi: that’s what you think

jimin: ??

hobi: whattttttttt

namjoon: DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS THIS IS???!?!:!!:

y/n: /super srs

hobi: super shy

jin: i don’t like the way he’s shouting at us

jk: wow guys did you know that namjoon smokes crack wow i never knew that joon you smoke crack??? that’s a bit crazy 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

namjoon: SHUT THE FUCK UP

jimin: yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!

jk kicked tae out of “EXO💜”

namjoon: ?????????????????

jk: he just called me said he has a new number

and to kick the old one idk

don’t shout at me again pls i’m sensitive

i know ur on crack pls don’t do anything crazy to me

i’m sorry

jk added (+82) 2 ******** to “EXO💜”

(+82) 2 ********: hey guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(+82) 2 ******** changed their nickname to “tae”

yoongi: telling you now it’s 110% his fault

jin: so why did u change ur number?

tae: funny story actually!

hobi: dear heavenly father

jimin: watch this story not be funny at all

tae: long story short it was leaked

jk: LOL 😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣🤣

ur right was a funny story

jin: shut up jungkook

jimin: ….

y/n: ok how was it leaked tho?

tae: so don’t be mad at me

but i was maybe at a party last night

and then i was talking to this girl (i only have eyes for u promise)

and i was SOOO sure that i knew her

so when she asked if she could use my phone to check the train times i was like ofc what the heck i’m a nice guy!

but she was like taking 7 years to find the train times she was looking for

and when i say she was taking ages she was taking AGESSS

and ofc i was at a party so i was in fact a little drunk

so naturally i needed to pee

and i was NOT about to hold it

when i need to go i need to go

so i left her with my phone to go pee

yoongi: ….

tae: and when i came back

guess what

jk: she turned into an ant???

tae: close but no

i couldn’t find her

jimin: how was that close??

tae: i was all like where did she go???

jk: maybe she needed to pee too

tae: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT

so i like stood there for 20 mins

and then i realised it doesn’t take girls THAT long to pee

like y/n pees in 2 seconds no joke

y/n: ?/?/!£:£,£&,&

WHY ARE YOU TIMING HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO PEE?????

jimin: maybe she was shitting

yoongi: why are we talking about girls going to the toilet….

tae: I ALSO THOUGHT THAT TOO

then i was like that’s stupid girls don’t do that 😭

jk: yeah ur silly 😭😭

y/n: ???

hobi: hallelujah amen

tae: so then i started looking around for her

and then i asked hyungsik (was his party)

where ella was (that was the girls name so i thought)

jimin: white ass name

tae: AND THEN HE WAS LIKE

ella??? who is ella???

and i was like the girl who made that really good cake that one time??? with the long brown hair???

and he was like?????

and i was like????

then he was like don’t you mean d?

now i’m confused as fuck like who tf is d??

then he said the guy with the long brown hair who made us that really good cake that one time

so i was like whose ella then???

and he was like idk???

and i kid you not as soon as i started walking away from hyungsik and i saw the ella girl

with MY phone in her hands might i add

so i was like HEY WHO ARE YOU??

then she literally dropped my phone on the cold hard floor and ran away

the end

jk: wow that story was really emotional loved every second of it ❤️

tae: thank you people often tell me i have a way with words

jimin: so this ella girl leaked it then?

tae: i think so it only makes sense

namjoon: SO UR THE REASON THE GC WAS LEAKED??????????????

yoongi: told you

tae: no???

ella was the reason MY number was leaked that’s it

jk: i though her name wasn’t ella

tae: no ur right

*“ella”

y/n: how long did she have ur phone for?

tae: like 2 hours idk

namjoon: 2 HOURS WITH UR PHONE UNSUPERVISED?/):£:£:£,£,&,&

tae: ok she had my phone for like an hour 15 unsupervised

i was there for the first 45

namjoon: ARE YOU STUPID!/

tae: no my iq like 1500

yoongi: -1500

jimin: x 10

tae: why does namjoon keep shouting is he like getting shot at as we speak or something

hobi: oh gracious lord do you hear me?

jimin: tae go on twitter

tae: why

did yoongi unblock me omg? 🥺

yoongi: no.

jimin: just go look

hobi: save our souls oh mighty lord

tae: NO WAY JOONS A CRACK ADDICT LOLLLLLL

makes sense tho!

how they find that out??

did you crack out in public or something?

you sniff crack or swallow?

sorry im not used to these type of drugs you gotta let me know how u consume

i’m new to this not true to this >.<

waITTT THIS IS SO G-DRAGON CORE

wasn’t he coked out at the airport the other day?

oh wait are coke and crack different??

i’m sorry i didn’t mean to offend u joon

crack users rise up 🙏🏼⬆️ (namjoon)

namjoon: STOP SPEAKING

jimin: scroll down on the dispatch page

tae: omg is there a video of him or something??

y/n: even better!

tae: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

/£:££:£;&;&&:&&;&;&;&;&:&;&/@/&:&,&,£:£

WHY WOULD DIAPSTXHX

OHMY)@/‘d/££:£:&..

OUR GC WAS LEAKED????/):)/££::&&:,&&;&;&:££:£:£;£:&;&:&:&:&:&;&;

WHY WOULD THEY SAY JENNIE WAS MY GF?/£:££:&;&,&;&;&;

yoongi: that’s the part that bothers you?

tae: I HAVE NO RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN

y/n look me in the eyes

jk: ur homophobia ones?

tae: what?

jk: hobi said

hobi: homophobia

y/n: heterochromia?

jin: hippopotamus

hobi: IF YOU SEE ME AND YOU TRYNA SEE WHATS UP

SKEEYEEE

yoongi: wow

hobi: yoongi god hates us

yoongi: get a grip

namjoon: THERE IS NO GRIP TO BE GOTTEN DONT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS LITERALLY COULD BE THE END OF US

LIKE BTS

US

OUR CAREERS

jimin: dramatic lol

im sure people will still fuck with us even tho they know you guys kiss each other on the mouth pop percs and are a little racist

i mean look at nct!

and

like

….

bigbang!!!!

bigbang still have fans right?

i’m pretty sure!!!

y/n: ?????????????????????????????

jk: racist

who?????

NOT ME

i hope

i thought jimin was sexist and fatphobic not racist oh my god 😥😥😥😰😰

it keeps getting worse

jin: idk what joons talking about actually this could be the end of HIS career

not mine

see ME personally i’ve done nothing wrong

this is like the start of my career actually

the end is nowhere is sight for kim seokjin

jimin: 12 year olds on twitter are dragging you for hating newjeans

jin: what

jk: wait yoongi broke woozi’s nose???

yoongi: no

y/n: HE DID

hobi: this is the end

jin: did woozi fight back????

personally i think woozi is a good fighter

i’ve said this before small men carry the biggest rage!!!!!

yoongi: idk a woozi

y/n: shut up

yoongi: kisses :3

namjoon: CAN YOU GUYS BE SERIOUS FOR ONCE IN UR LIFE

jimin:

tae: LAMOSODOD WHY DID THEY PUT HOLLY BEHIND BARS

yoongi: HUH??????????

namjoon: oh my god i’m gonna shoot you all

hobi: see it starts with holly behind bars then it’s us next

jk: no 😰

hobi: everyone say sorry god

jk: i’m sorry god please forgive me and my friends

yoongi: why did they actually put my dog

behind bars

what the actual fuck did my dog do

??????

who makes these things

why is my dog behind bars

jk: do you think i can survive jail…

tae: ofc i’ll fuck for you!

*fight for you

jimin: wtf????????

tae: i was thinking about y/n sorry

jk: you mean it 🥺

tae: is cheese on the floor?

y/n: what does that even mean

jk: yes 😭

hobi: i see the light

god is that you???

namjoon: ur pissing me off stop speaking

jimin:

jk: i’m sorry namjoon 🥺

namjoon: is that sarcasm?

jk: who?

namjoon: all of you can kill yourselves

namjoon left “exo💜”

jin: ok but i didn’t even do anything

tae: so like…. is this fr my fault?

yoongi: yes ❤️

—

part one HERE

sorry LMAO this is ass whyse7vn funny comeback soon i pray >:(

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @junghoseokshusband

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts fic #bts text #bts × reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon × reader #jin × reader #yoongi × reader #hoseok × reader #jimin × reader #taehyung × reader #jungkook × reader #bts texts #rm x reader #suga x reader #v × reader #jhope × reader #hobi x reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts

[phantomrose96]

Familiar Corpse

Vlad Masters’ housephone rang for the first time in 20 years.

Vlad jolted. It was a noise so starkly unfamiliar that he looked to his cellphone first, then the shut off television, both black and wholly silent. Quiet followed, and Vlad sat in his muddy confusion, eyes roving across the empty study, until the second ring of the phone clicked into memory, and he recognized the sound.

Vlad smiled.

He placed his heady romance novel pages-down. He adjusted both his glass of wine and Maddie the cat so that he could disentangle himself from the armchair. He stood, and followed the phone’s offbeat tittering, its imitation of clambering metal, and snagged it from the line just before the third ring died.

“Hello?” Vlad said, cradling the receiver to his ear, cushioned in the fringes of his bathrobe.

“Vlad, hello,” that lovely lovely voice answered. “It’s Maddie.” As if it could have been anyone else.

“Oh, Maddie! This is a pleasant surprise, my dear.”

This phone line was not Vlad’s business line. This was the line reserved for friends and family only—which was to say, for Maddie only. Sure, she’d shared the number with Jack, though he insisted purely on texting Vlad’s cell. To stay “hip.” To “trend with the kids.” Jack had not texted him in a long while.

“Sorry to be bothering you so late, Vlad. It’s just—"

“Oh no bother at all!” Vlad traded the phone between hands. “I feel like it’s been ages since we’ve last spoken. How are you? Wonderful as always, I imagine.”

“I’m… not so great, actually, Vlad.” Maddie answered, and Vlad could have scoffed. A remarkable understatement, given what Vlad knew, and what Maddie did not know he knew. “It’s… I’d like your opinion—your expertise—on something. It’s… it’s important. Jack and I don’t know who else to turn to.”

“Ohhhhh,” Vlad sucked air through his teeth, “now I am quite busy. The McGovern merger is going through by end of the month and with the re-election campaign and everything--”

“Lunch? Just.. lunch? An hour or two of your time. Really. I can make it fast.”

“My dear I would so love for all of us to meet up like old times but I really cannot overstate how busy I am with--.”

“I won’t bring Jack.”

Vlad fell quiet, smile cracking unseen on his lips. He wasn’t even here to play this game, but he was a man who so loved being handed a victory.

“Just us. Just us two, Vlad. You can pick the place.”

“Oh now that does make things a touch more convenient. You see I already have a reservation for two set up at a nice little spot near the campaign office tomorrow,” Vlad lied. “It was going to be a quick little affair with one of my donors, but, I am sure they can reschedule.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Just tell me the place and time, I’ll be there.”

“Oh don’t even fret. I’ll send a driver to pick you up. Expect him around 11:30. Anything I should know before our… consultation?”

Maddie fell silent.

“…No. No, I don’t think so. I don’t want to give you anything that might… make you jump to any conclusions. I think I need to explain it all at once.”

“I understand completely, my dear. Wear something red, won’t you? It’s a stunning color on you.”

“Sure. I’ll—11:30? I’ll keep an eye out. Here. For the driver.”

“Yes, 11:30. Until then~”

Vlad hung up, and he ruminated on what he’d agreed to—or perhaps instigated.

This was a matter of clinical curiosity. After all, he was tabling his pursual of Maddie for the time being. A project on hold—cooled, but not soured, he assured himself, as he did not care enough about what happened to feel truly sour.

Vlad suppressed a small laugh. It was funny almost, powerfully ironic, how ideal this situation would have been to him 2 weeks earlier. But it was tainted by the knowledge of what Maddie wanted to discuss.

Vlad knew, and the swaths of blood stains on the carpet knew, which neither bleach nor vinegar had been able to fully lift from its fibers.

…

Sunlight fell like waterfalls through the second-story bay windows of Le Petit Capot. The tables were well-spaced, private despite the vastly open floors. Each was decorated with a satin white table cloth, napkins folded into roses, candles brand new and unlit. A string quartet played near the fountain, a dash of ambient background noise and mindfully polite chatter from the tables already seated. Vlad sat, confident and eager, perusing the wine menu and wondered whether Maddie might be jealous of everything she’d missed out on when Vlad ordered the most expensive bottle on the list.

“Sir.”

Vlad raised his eyes. The host approached, pulling out the second chair from Vlad’s table and gesturing to it. He watched Maddie enter from behind, clad in a stunning red dress whose creases suggested it had lived in her closet for the better part of many years. Vlad took another small victory in how so very out of place Maddie was here. Stunning, beautiful, yes. But she could not carry herself well. She shifted visibly in her dress. They were different creatures, clearly, she and Vlad.

“Thank you,” Maddie took her seat, and the host bowed and exited.

“Wine menu, my dear,” Vlad handed over the menu as though offering a business contract. “I am already intending to order this cabernet,” Vlad said, tapping the priciest item on the list. “We can order a second bottle of course, if anything else catches your eye.”

The wine list did not catch her eye. They were too tired and dull and lifeless for much at all to catch their attention.

“No thank you.”

“Appetizers, then? I know escargot can be a bit cliché in this kind of establishment, but if you’ve never had truly superb—”

“I think I should just. Get started.” Maddie’s hands had vanished beneath the tablecloth, but Vlad could tell she was wringing them out of sight from the uncomfortable shift and shuffle of her arms. Her eyes darted about. Her voice dropped. “Since you’re… busy. I don’t want to waste time.”

“Just the cabernet then. And the escargot, for the table.” Vlad flagged the waiter over. Maddie avoided looking at either of them as Vlad ordered.

“Now then—” Vlad leaned forward, one arm out and palm up, inviting conversation. “You seem quite bothered. What is it you’d like to tell me?”

“Danny’s dead.”

Maddie’s eyes refused to find his as she spoke. Vlad arched an eyebrow, less surprised by the statement as much as he was by its bluntness, by its phrasing. Not “a ghost.” Not “Phantom.” Dead.

“My… my goodness,” Vlad said, constructing whatever kind of faux reaction an uninvolved, non-half-ghost billionaire may have. One who did not already know every detail of what Maddie intended to divulge today. “Oh my sweet dear. I’m devastated. I saw him just a few days ago it feels like.” Vlad reached a hand out, and he pulled Maddie’s right arm up above the table, cradling her hand in his. “When did this happen?”

“Last week. Sometime. I don’t know precisely.”

And Vlad faltered. He was not usually one to falter, but he’d come to this meeting knowing everything, and the everything he knew would not have included an answer like that. “A year ago,” she should have said. “When Jack and I built the portal,” she should have said.

So she was lying to him then, maybe, Vlad thought, a bit colder. An odd choice for a woman who’d come absolutely begging to him for help.

He let none of this show on his face.

“My god. Did he go missing? My Dear you should have told me sooner. I could have had the whole town’s forces out searching for him. I’d have dropped my re-election responsibilities in a second if—”

“Can I… explain please? Can I just explain?” Maddie whispered. Vlad nodded, and rubbed his thumb in circles along her hand, still grasped in his.

“Last week—a week ago today—Jack and I captured Phantom. We brought him back to the lab and dissected him. To study him.”

The rhythm of Vlad’s thumb faltered. He kept it off his face, but it soured something in him, deeper and worse, to hear how few words it took her to say it. How clinical it was, the way she said it.

Vlad remembered it differently.

The desperate slamming pounding on his front door from a boy too weak to phase through. Arms hugged deathly tight around midsection as the only pressure holding organs inside. The whole front of his suit torn away, skin peeled and the whites of his clothing dyed black with rusted crimson and crusted ectoplasm. And the noise—the attempt at speaking—the look in his eyes which was so far gone—the elements which Vlad could not remember without the memories clamping like a fist around his entrails.

Vlad swallowed it all down. His heart rate was rising, and that was silly, as he had nothing to be worked up about.

“Phantom escaped. Jack and I were taking a break, and a cuff was loose—Jack had meant to fix it before, but must have forgot—and it. When we came back down into the lab, Phantom was gone.”

Vlad nodded, staring with an expression he was making sure looked rapt. He was studying her face. He was finding she hadn’t aged quite as well as he’d always thought. That rapturous beauty that had held him throughout college had gone somewhere.

“That—by itself, missing a subject. It wasn’t a problem. Ghosts have escaped before. It happens. Jack and I didn’t think too deeply about it.” Maddie glanced to the right. The waiter hovered against the other wall, wine bottle in hand. He’d read the atmosphere of the table and tried to tuck himself away until a good moment. Maddie sighed. She pulled her hand from Vlad’s. She stared down as she spoke, quieter. “I never… thought Phantom was a vengeful spirit. …I was wrong. God. I was wrong. If I could have just destroyed him on the table. …If Jack and I had never captured him.”

Vlad was glad, in the moment, that Maddie would not meet his eyes. There was emotion bleeding through on his own face which he could not wipe away.

(“I have to tell them, right…? That it’s me…?” Danny, stitched back together to the best of Vlad’s ability, kept alive with the entanglement of machines Vlad had once used to incubate Danny’s clones. He could only speak when the machine breathed for him. A rasp instead of a voice. Eyes too dry to cry, dehydrated and spent from all the screaming and sobbing Vlad had not been around to witness, and could only imagine. “I can’t hide this. They’re gonna know…”)

“Maddie… my dear… I’m—perhaps not quite following—it sounds like you mean—”

“Phantom killed Danny,” Maddie said, and she said it with no emotion in her voice, because the alternative was to fall completely apart.

“That’s—”

“It’s worse,” Maddie said, her voice wavering. “He took Danny’s body. And he told Jazz—told all of us—that Jack and I did this to him. To Danny. He’s still walking around. In Danny’s body. Pretending to be Danny. Jack and I know the truth of course but he has Jazz convinced. Jazz believes it. She thinks Phantom was Danny, that it’s been him all along, and she doesn’t know that Danny—and she thinks that we—Jack and I—thinks that we—”

Maddie’s breath hitched. She was pale now, so starkly pale against the sequin red of her dress and breathing all too quickly. The waiter with the wine retreated. Despite the open air, Vlad felt a pressure closing in around his chest.

(“It’s…………….. going okay.” Danny flinched as Vlad threaded another stitch. It took too much effort on Vlad’s part to align the needle with how badly Danny’s body trembled. It wasn’t because of the stitches. Danny’s body trembled on its own, perpetually, for the last four days. As if it had forgotten how not to, as if those untold hours on the dissection table had broken him into this state. “It was scary when I—thought I couldn’t actually convince Mom and Dad but… Jazz convinced them. They get it, I think. That it’s me. …They haven’t attacked me, you know, haha? …..It’s awkward. I think they’re sorry. It’s weird. ….I think it’s okay.”)

“This is Phantom’s revenge for what we did to him. He killed our son. And no one knows but Jack and me… and you, now. Danny’s dead and I can’t even bury my son… It’s Phantom, now. Reminding us every single moment of what we did to him. And we have to pretend like—because Jazz is there. He turned Jazz against us. She believes Jack and I did this to Danny. We tried to explain but she just thinks we’re trying to avoid the blame. Like it’s denial.” Maddie dropped her forehead to her palm, elbow on the table, holding herself up. “I can’t tell Jazz that her baby brother’s dead. She won’t believe me anyway. I can’t have a funeral for my baby boy. I have to look at his corpse every single day and pretend it’s him, and not the monster that killed him.”

Maddie’s body trembled, and the sight of it was all too familiar to Vlad.

“Jack and I don’t sleep. We don’t eat. That thing lives in our house and our baby boy is dead. And I’m begging you, Vlad, to please tell me what to do.”

Maddie looked up, and the disquiet on Vlad’s face was hopefully not out of place with whatever she expected of him.

“Surely,” Vlad said, mouth dry, “there are ways to prove if it is or isn’t Danny. There must be… a million things Danny would know, which Phantom would not.”

“He’s in Danny’s body, Vlad. He has access to all of Danny’s memories right there. He can read any memory he needs right from Danny’s own brain…” Maddie’s voice caught. “And he can overwrite other people’s memories with possession. Physically, he has Danny’s body. Mentally, he has Danny’s mind. And there is absolutely nothing Jack and I can do to prove he’s not Danny.” Maddie fell quiet a moment, eyes dropping. “And if we go after him the only way we can—as a ghost—Jazz will think we killed our little boy. His friends, too. Do we do that…? Do we just do that, and destroy him, and lose Jazz right after we lost Danny…? Or do we live with the monster. Forever.”

(“It’s… I can’t really tell what they think. It’s maybe more awkward now but, it’s getting better in some ways, maybe, I think. I don’t really spend any time alone with them… or talk about the—haha—the uh—” Danny let out a stressed laugh, blinking away tears as he ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t really talk about the—not yet. Maybe eventually. Maybe we’re—I think we’re healing. Slowly, I think. It’s okay. I’m gonna figure out how to forgive them and it’ll be okay.”)

Vlad wasn’t speaking.

Vlad needed to speak.

“Maddie, I… My dear I hear what you’re saying. But what if—well—if he is so physically and mentally indistinguishable from Danny, what if he simply is Danny? It’s—what would this be—a half-human half-ghost hybrid of sorts? From my research I feel that could be distinctly possible—”

Vlad met Maddie’s eyes, and the pain in them silenced him immediately.

“…Not you too,” Maddie breathed. “Did he get to you already? Overshadow you already?”

“Maddie my love I am not overshadowed.”

“But he’s gotten to you first somehow, hasn’t he…?”

Vlad did not speak. He did not speak, and he thought of the blood lingering in his mansion carpet and the gore he’d seen inside his laboratory walls and the dead dead dead eyes of the boy coming back, day after day, clinging to the same exhausted hopefuls of “It’s getting better...” “It’s getting better...” “It’s getting better...”

The waiter set down the wine bottle, hurrying through a speech about its origin before Vlad raised a hand to dismiss him, and with clear shining relief the waiter bowed out. Vlad had not so much as looked at him. He was staring at Maddie. And she was staring back.

Maddie pushed her seat back, and she set her napkin on the table.

“Sorry to bother you about this, Vlad. You’re much too busy. Forget you ever heard any of this.”

She went quietly. Vlad watched her back disappear without so much as a word.

There was proof, surely, for the existence of half ghosts. There was proof directly within his reach, inside him, which could be shown at a moment’s notice.

But the crimes of Vlad Plasmius ran numerous and deep. It was not a decision to make lightly. It was not a decision to make at all for the broken shards of a family Vlad was no longer interested in pursuing—for a broken woman who’d lost her charm and a son too fractured for Vlad to ever proudly call his own.

Besides, what might it mean to Maddie to see Vlad become such a creature before her eyes? What might that make Vlad to her, if not simply another vengeful ghost in another familiar corpse?

#danny phantom #dp fanfiction #had an idea (evil) #gore tw #horror tw

[boredzillenial]

For your blurbs

How about Basil Stitt crushing on a Dasher/ delivery girl

As sweet or spicy as you are feeling. 🙈

Yes Chef! 🫡

Theme: Basil breaks down and orders pizza. A.N: Just a lil awkwardness and a few too many interruptions lol

Empty, completely fucking empty… Basil thought as he stared at the barren interior of his fridge. He went to grab a lone beer when his stomach growled, begging for anything more substantial.

Anxiety rippled through him at the thought of leaving his darkened apartment. I’m hideous, can’t let anyone see me like this… It’d only been a few days since “the incident” and he hadn’t left his place since. He paced for a moment before a pizza menu haphazardly tossed on the ground caught his eye. He shrugged and dialed the number as he slouched back on the couch.

“Gianni’s Pizza what’ll ya have?” Your curt voice had him shoot forward. His heart hammered in his chest at your voice. All at once memories of conversations came to his mind. It’d started as chit-chat, and through months of ordering you two had developed a rapport, even a bit of flirting.

Despite the clipped tone it still hit something inside him. “Hello?” You sighed on the other end, “Look if this is those stupid kids you’re not funny. Im hanging up-“

“No wait!” Basil blurted. “I - I need to place an order, for delivery.”

“Basil?” Your tone softened, “I’m so sorry, these fucking kids -“ you sighed. “You want your usual?”

He nodded. “Hello?” Your voice rang softly in the receiver.

“Sorry! Sorry yeah I guess Pepp-”

“Pepperoni half olives and cheesy bread.” Your voice seemed to lift a bit at the familiarity of the order.

He stopped for a moment, somewhat comforted that you actually remembered. “Ah actually, no olives. Cinnamon bread instead of cheesy.” His hand rubbed across the back of his neck as he paced across the hardwood.

“No? Catherine out of town again?” You asked so nonchalantly it nearly hurt.

“Catherine is, out. Yeah - no she chea-“ Basil stopped himself, you didn’t wanna hear about his personal life. Your gasp nearly made his heart stop.

“You’re joking! What a b-“ you stopped yourself. “It’ll be by in 10 alright? Just hang tight.” You hung up.

Basil crinkled his brow as he stared at the phone, you’d sounded like… like you cared.

The minutes passed faster than he thought possible as he fumbled for cash around his apartment. He figured he could just slip it under the door when you came. No one should see him like this.

A light but antsy knock sounded on the door. “Pizza. It’s me!” Your light voice muffled slightly by the thin door set his nerves alight.

“T-thanks.” Basil called from his side, pressing close and peeking through the peep-hole at your beautiful face.

Confusion etched into your features as you waited for the door to open. “Basil?”

“Oh right, here.” Shuffling sounded as two 20s awkwardly slipped under the front door. “Keep the change.”

“Basil I, I wanted to talk. Are you alright?” He could see you worry your bottom lip as you glanced along the empty hall.

“Fine! Ah, sick I don’t want you to catch it.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched you. Please please just leave. You couldn’t see him like this…

“Oh ah, feel better.” Sadness knitted your brow a moment before you set the pizza and bag of cinnamon bread on the ground. You went to say something but caught yourself. Instead putting your hand up to the door and signing softly.

Basil watched with his heart hammering away in his chest. Watched until he heard the elevator ding and was sure you’d left. When he opened the door the first this to surprise him is the money still sitting just on the other side, the second was some writing left on the box.

Your cell number along with a note,

Her loss, call me ;)

———————————

Apologies for the clunkiness I’m still getting back in the swing of writing between a new job and BG3 stealing me away (gettin all the kisses from my virtual husband Halsin 😘)

Taglist: @melodygatesauthor @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ominoose @romana-after-dark @lunar-ghoulie @flowercrownonapegion @howellatme @mooksmouse @ahookedheroespureheart @beezusvreeland @auntiegigi @moonkxit @faretheeoscar

#basil stitt fanfiction #basil stitt x you #basil stitt x reader #basil stitt #drabble requests #so sorry it’s been so long #and I’m V rusty 😭

[rosiehrs]

YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME # 20. saviour (written)

word count ; 1.7k

a/n ; THIS CHAPTER GOT ME KICKING MY FEET OH MY GOD, ENJOY.

irene didn’t know what was going through her head when she sent you those texts. however, she was glad that she got to you before anyone else did.

as soon as she received your location, she grabbed her things and rushed out of her apartment. irene had never driven at the speed that she did and probably went past the speed limit, but she didn’t care. she needed to get to you.

she parked her car as close as she could and grabbed the umbrella in the backseat. from there, she followed wherever her phone told her to go to get to you. not long after, she saw a figure in the distance and texted you to make sure.

‘Stay there’, she sent.

she made a beeline for you, hoping to get you under an umbrella as quickly as she could.

“y/n.” she called out, causing you to turn your head towards her voice. “unnie,” you replied, your voice shaking. her eyes carefully travelled from your head to your feet, seeing that you were shivering and drenched. “come,” she said, grabbing your arm to get you under her umbrella. “i only had one, i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay, don’t apologise.” you replied quietly. “let’s go,” she stated, leading the both of you to where she parked her car. as you walked together under the umbrella, she could feel you shivering next to her.

irene argued with herself, the older girl’s internal conflicts getting louder in her head. she knew what she wanted to do, but her brain told her she couldn’t do it.

‘damn it, joohyun. just help the poor girl.’

she finally decided to ignore the voices in her head and do what she wanted.

irene pulled you closer towards her, her arm secured around your waist. she felt your shoulders tense up against her, your back straightening. “i- you’re cold. i’m.. just transferring my body heat.” she explained awkwardly, loosening the hold on your waist. hearing that, you leaned into her, causing irene’s cheeks to heat up. “thank you, unnie.”

“i- uh- yeah.”

you reached her car shortly after, irene opened the passenger seat door for you which you thanked her for and got in. once she closed the door, she took a second to breathe outside. what was this funny feeling in her stomach? and why does her face feel so warm?

she snapped out of it and placed the wet umbrella in the trunk. she got into the driver’s seat, seeing how you were still shivering. she started the engine and turned the heater on. she then reached for the towel she brought in the back seat and passed it to you. “here.” she said. “thank you, unnie.” you said for the nth time, drying the parts of yourself that you could. 

she backed out of the parking spot and started driving away. “unnie, do you need my address?” you asked, holding the towel closely around you. “no.” she replied simply. “uh, alright but this isn’t the right way to my house–”

“i know.” 

with that, you decided not to question her. nevertheless, you were worried and didn’t know where she was taking you. not to be mistaken, you trusted the older girl, you really did. however, you wanted to get home and take a hot, steaming shower and dress in the warmest clothes you had.

a few minutes later, irene parked in the basement of an apartment complex that was unfamiliar to you. she turned the engine off and started to grab her things. she looked at you as she noticed you staring at her. “let’s go.”

you obeyed, stepping out of her car and following her into the lift. irene pressed a floor number and stared down at the floor. “unnie? where are we going?”

“my apartment.”

“oh.” 

with the response, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. now, you were terrified. irene, the woman you’ve been admiring online for months, picking you up and bringing you to her house? you swore you would have fainted right then and there.

the lift door opened and she led you to her unit, opening the door with a keycard. the both of you took your shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack. she held the door open, gesturing for you to enter first. you politely bowed at her and stepped into her apartment. your jaw dropped as you entered, seeing the interior. you knew irene lived comfortably, but you didn’t realise she was this comfortable. the place was spacious, modern, and clean. you felt awkward and out of place, turning back to face irene. 

she gestured towards the large sofa in her living room, “take a seat, i’ll be right back.” you sent her a small smile as she walked away and entered a room. you stared down at the sofa, refusing to sit down as you were still drenched. so you stood around until she came back, sending you an odd look when she saw you standing up. 

“follow me.” she said, leading you into the room she was just in. you looked around the large bedroom, amazed at the simplicity and beauty. she gestured towards a door in the room, “go take a shower, i left clothes on the bed. take your time.” she then left you in the room, locking the door behind her.

to say you were flabbergasted was an understatement. you stood there for what felt like hours before finally doing what you were told. you walked into the brightly lit bathroom, once again amazed by the simplicity and design of the place. the bathroom was huge and bright, like a bathroom in a 5-star hotel, but better. irene had set aside a towel for you and made sure everything you needed was there for you.

you had stripped off your clothes and stepped into the shower. you let the water run for a few seconds before finally feeling warmth. you fully stepped under the shower head, feeling warm water run across your body. you sighed in content, the cold feeling in your body finally dissipating with the steam that started to cover the glass. 

after your much needed shower, you wrapped yourself up with a towel and stepped out into the room to take the clothes she had left for you. one of her hoodies and some jogger shorts. staring at yourself in the mirror, you were more flustered than ever. the thought of actually wearing irene’s clothes never came to mind. you walked out into her bedroom and briefly looked around. after seeing a photobooth picture of her and her friends, it finally processed that you were really in irene’s house.

when you walked out of the room, you were greeted with a welcoming and savoury smell coming from the kitchen. you walked towards it, seeing irene behind the counter. noticing your presence, she looked up from the stove and froze up at the sight of you. (wearing her clothes)

“i- uh- they look good on you.” she said, looking back down at the stove. she could feel her ears and cheeks heat up, but she hoped that you would assume it was from the heat in the kitchen. “thank you, unnie.”

“i’m almost done, so you can take a seat.”

you nodded at her and took a seat at the dining table. irene’s kitchen was an open concept, so you could watch her cook as you were sitting down. all you could do in the moment was admire the older girl. you thought she hated you even after the apology, but here she was - cooking you dinner and taking care of you. 

irene could feel your eyes on her the whole time and it took everything in her not to look up at you. she quickly prepared your meals and set it down in front of you. she sat opposite you, awkwardly settling into her seat.

“thank you for the food,” you politely said, waiting for her to take a bite before you did. the two of you ate quietly, and for the first time - it was a comfortable silence. 

“y/n?” irene began, shockingly being the one to break the silence. “yes, unnie?”

“do you believe in tarot card readings?”

“uh.. i guess to some extent. why?”

“i saw one and it was pretty specific to me.”

“oh? what was it about if you don’t mind me asking?”

silence..

“do you like me?”

“oh.” you let out. “uh.. yeah. i do.”

“okay.” she replied, nonchalantly placing a spoonful of food into her mouth.

“..okay?”

“okay.” she stated, chewing her food. you sat there confused and a little embarrassed. you looked down at your food until she began talking again. “you’re not as extroverted as you paint yourself out to be.”

“i.. i am. i’m usually loud, it’s just that.. i’m nervous.” you replied, specifically catching her attention. “why?” she asked.

“you make me nervous.”

“oh.”

silence once again took over the air, until she opened her mouth.

“you make me nervous, too.”

you gawked at her, “oh.” 

“i don’t.. understand what i’m feeling.” she continued. “i don’t think i have feelings for you, but i like it when you’re near me.”

you felt butterflies in your stomach as she spoke, whether she had feelings for you or not – she liked being around you. and that was enough. “that’s okay, unnie. we agreed on being friends and i’m alright with that.”

after a few seconds of thinking, irene nodded. “okay.”

“okay.” you replied, smiling at her. “the food is really good by the way, thank you. for the food, for picking me up, for everything. i didn’t expect you to take care of me like this. you’re a saviour.”

“of course, y/n. i couldn’t just leave you like that. think of it as another apology for the first time we met. which once again, i’m extremely sorry about. you’re lovely and i’m sorry i didn’t notice that.”

“stop apologising, unnie, it’s okay. trust me. i don’t expect everyone to fall for me.” you joked. “well, i bet it’s difficult not to. whoever you end up with in the future is a lucky one.”

you laughed once again, “thank you, unnie.”

‘i still wish it would be you.’

previous | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ⤻ irene was a private influencer and y/n was an avid follower. you were extremely open about your admiration for the older girl. like every other fangirl, you want her to notice you – but she doesn't know your name. (and you don't know hers)

tag list (closed); @winieter @silantryoo @luvjanexx @perfectsunlight @pandamiswifey @jeindall777 @jimanie @sapphicmemos @slowlydifferentbluebird @jjuncidio @awkwardtoafault @gfriendsapple @cwpiqwon @nasyu-kookies @justme-idle @mightymyo @writingficsblog @archerheejin @yoontoonwhs @jenscx @captivq @ddeulgiheree @urfriendlylocalidiot @juhyunsthirdwife @eccobe @uzumakioden @dni-unavailable @jisooftme @pandafuriosa60 @ehcyps @wiinvrs @eunhhh @lyninabin @sewiouslyz @ryujinbrat @edamboon @ky-yk @orchestralbeats @ludasgf @blooming--warrior @blue4hour @djoenjoyer1 @staryujinnie

#irene x reader #bae joohyun x reader #joohyun x reader #red velvet x reader #kpop x reader #ydkmn!smau

[bloomingdog]

Acolyte

word count: 2.7k a/n: hii i'm going through a depressive episode and this is my fic about soap with a depressed reader cos he's my babygirl. might expand on them idk i love soap i wanna keep writing for him

Johnny is a friend of Kyle’s, and Kyle is a friend of Farah, who is your friend. And Johnny, or Soap, is here because Kyle invited him since he had “nothing better to do”. And it’s alright, he’s fun and a little loud, he talks over people but always apologises. You were a little nervous to meet him, having been promised a get-together with people you were already well-acquaintances with, but the tears in your eyes, from laughing, that is, dismiss all previous nerves.

“And then he-” He’s cut off by his own wheeze, it’s been going for a couple of minutes; him and Kyle trying to retell a story about their captain, but they keep getting interrupted by their own laughter. You don’t think it’s that funny, if anything their reactions are the thing that make you all go into hysterics. It’s hard to feel sorry for all the other patrons. 

You feel drunker than you really are, save for Farah, you only had two to three beers each. It’s the kind of silly drunkenness induced by being with friends. The forgotten UNO cards on top of the table shake as Johnny’s fist hits the table trying to catch his breath.

And the pub’s playlist keeps playing every top #1 hit from the last 20 years. And at some point you’re all performing a rendition of smash hit “500 miles”. And you’re getting giggly with sleep. And Farah’s driving you home. And she’s asking you about Johnny, which makes you giggly all over. And she’s telling you he’s single. 

And then it’s morning. And there’s a message from an unknown phone number.

“Hey. This is Johnny. 

Just wanted to let you know I had a blast last night, loved meeting you :-)” 

It makes you smile trying to figure out what to write back. Why is it so hard to sound nonchalant while also a little interested in getting to know him? 

“So did I!

Haven’t laughed that hard in a while lol”

That’s cool, right? It’s half a good response at the very least, since you get a response back.

“Wanna meet sometime?”

Oh, that’s good. At best, you get a little attention and maybe a lay, at worst you get a new friend. You keep texting throughout the day, you two fit like a puzzle piece: talkative, extroverted and active. He sends you a picture of a squirrel he saw earlier on his morning run, you send him a picture of your cat back with the caption “my asshole son” to which he replies “don’t be mean to him”. Those little interactions keep getting exchanged. On Monday, you send him a fun fact about a shark that had a virgin birth. Tuesday, he’s telling you about his fear of dogs. Wednesday is the perfect occasion for a picture of your cat, Gus, sleeping in a funny position. Thursday, your phone pings with a string of texts ranting about Glasgow City. Friday you’re texting Johnny that you’re at the restaurant you’re meeting at, a hole-in-the-wall that mastered the art of oily food and crispy chips, he replies he’s running late.

“I’m so sorry for making you wait.” Is out of his mouth before any greeting. “Are ye hungry?” It’s more a conversation starter than an actual question.

“It’s okay! No worries.” You’re just happy to be hanging out, not bothered by his tardiness. 

The two of you sit and chat, you learn he has a tattoo of a revolver but won’t say where. He laughs at the face you make while imagining where it would be. “Don’t be dirty!” He chastises, it’s within the law that you steal one of his chips as payment for the teasing. You ask where does Soap come from.

“A’m good at cleaning.” It’s a short answer that explains enough, you’re not keen on pushing the topic any further. Luckily, he changes the topic rather quickly, it looks like he’s not a big fan of silences. “Tell me aboot Gus. How’d you get him?” 

“A colleague’s cat had kittens, she was trying to find them homes, Gus was the only one left, runt of the litter you know?” He nods, listening, interested in what you have to say. “Kept pushing and showing me pictures of the guy until I caved. When I took him home he wouldn’t stop screaming, I think he might be part siamese, they’re really vocal. So, he kept me up all night, I thought he was sick or something, I even took him to the emergency vet, turns out he’s just a dickhead.” He smiles at the insult. “A very cute one, though.” You add, it’s hard not to love him even if he wakes you up at 6 a.m. on the dot.

 “Can I meet him someday?” he might if you’re lucky enough.

You might as well thank every saint, divinity, and omnipotent being for your luck tonight. He accompanies you home, only because “he’s a gentleman”, according to him. The kind of gentleman that kisses you dizzy and gets invited into your flat.

You text Farah about the events of the evening before falling asleep, it’s not kiss and tell if she’s your best friend. And in the early morning you’re both woken up by an angry Gus, whose side of the bed has been stolen by a guy that almost doesn’t fit in it. You’re cuddled on his side, one leg over his.

“Gus-Gus….” It’s a groggy mumble of displeasure, you know he only wants to be beside you, but the hour doesn’t help your mood. Still, you move away from Johnny so he can jump onto your chest for cuddles.

“He does skirl alright.” That morning voice might actually be the death of you.

“Told you. He’s an asshole.” A breathy laugh makes his bare chest move as he turns to face you.

“He’s real cute though.”

“Are you not tired?” The early morning light peeks through your window, the sun isn’t even out yet and you can’t imagine anyone that is appreciative of being woken up so early.

“Naw, no’ really. ‘M used to it.” 

It feels weird, good weird, to have him in your bed like that. Barely a week since you met, and he feels so close, more like a friend than a one-night stand, more than a friends-with-benefits. He checks the time on his phone before speaking again.

“Ye want breakfast?” Your eyes are closed again, hugging Gus close to your chest, hand moving up and down his fur but not doing much to pet him. His call of your name is answered by a groan, it makes him chuckle. He scoots closer to you, you can feel his arm coming up for Gus to sniff and the cat readjusts himself so his head is closer to Johnny’s. “Hi”.

Oh but the warmth dissipating from his body is to much, that and the soft noise of Gus’ purr drives you to fall asleep again. You only half dream, a mixture of images that won’t make any sense once you’re awake again, which happens rather soon as the bed adjusts and you feel a hand run through your hair. 

“Can I make tea?” His voice sounds softer than earlier, you nod, opening your eyes just a smidge to look up at him.

“Biscuits in the cupboard…”That’s as much as you can muster now. “Wake me up when it's done?”

“Course.” 

He left with Gus following behind, but you can’t seem to fall asleep again. That was…rather intimate. Your stomach feels hot and your chest tighter. Shooting your eyes open you’re quick to grab your phone again, Farah replied an hour ago.

“Wooo! Good for you”

“You’re gonna have to tell me everything about it btw”

“Farah”

“How pathetic is it to have a crush on your one night stand?”

Oh you don’t like that, calling him a one night stand, feels too impersonal, rude almost.

You’re getting out of bed, into your restroom and to the kitchen. 

“Good morning” He leans against the kitchen counter where your meds are,he’s looking at his phone waiting for the kettle to boil, clad in his boxers from last night, hair a mess and body soft under the morning light. Even though it’s the same body it feels so different from last night, scars, bigger and small, litter his body, it’s muscular and soft at the same time, big pecs a tad too inviting and a tattoo on his forearm. Reaching for the pills would mean standing next to him, probably brushing against—no, touching him, and that makes you nervous. Oh. You’re embarrassingly down bad. 

He stayed the entire weekend, Friday through Sunday. Next week it was picnic and football. You’re convinced any major team would be jealous of your 1-person teams and 5 meter field. He’s good, but you’re full of fear as he chases you for the ball, it’s the predator-prey kinda adrenaline that makes you score. 

“Yes!” 

“Offside! Offside!”

“What do you mean offside? There’s no one I can pass the ball to!” In fact, there’s not even a goal. You grab the ball and go back to him, looking straight into his eyes in fake defiance. 

“Talking back to the referee? That’s a red card.” He looks so handsome like this, standing tall and unmovable, even if only joking, and you let him know via a quick kiss to his lips. He’s pulling you back to his lips not even half a second after, deep and slow, giggly. “Bribin’ me, huh?” You let out a soft, happy, sigh and kiss him again.

“Wanna go home?”

You tell Farah everything over a cup of tea and a piece of cake, of course. And she laughs at you, not in a mean way at all, only friendly and amused, still you hit her arm.

And the following week it’s film night. This one’s more spontaneous than the others, it’s been a tough week at work, you want a quiet evening and some company so you ask him if he wants to come hang out, he replies saying that he’ll be there in 30.

It’s the two of you, your favourite take out, Gus-Gus sitting on the back of the sofa and Fargo on the TV. He’s not paying as much attention to the film as he is to you.

“What?” You say, turning to look at him.

“Ye’r a beauty.” You smile shyly and kick him on the leg with your foot slightly. “A’m serious. I like you a lot.” A big smile grows on your face, and it’s enough confirmation for him to know you feel the same.

Or at least he thought so. There are no plans for this weekend, not for lack of trying, that is, Soap’s been trying to text you all week, it’s a big shift from your daily texting. He misses the little life updates you send him. Tuesday, he thought you might just be busy. Wednesday he stops trying to contact you, did he do something wrong? Went too fast? Are you ghosting him? What did he do that was worth the silent treatment? Thursday, he tries calling you, multiple times. Friday all rational thoughts have left his brain, did something happen to you? Are you okay? Christ, what if you’re dead? He texts Farah, swallowing his embarrassment.

“She’s okay, I think.”

“Going through a bit of a depression episode at the moment.”

“She’s going recluse, I know she wouldn’t mind a bit of help.”

“I have a spare key to her flat if you want to come get it.”

The string of texts floats around his mind, spare key in hand in front of your front door. He’s been inside before, but he was invited in, this feels invasive, but Farah trusted him, and she knew you best. He sent you a message before showing up, the last bit of chivalry he can offer before showing up in your home, it went through, and he hoped you read it even if you didn’t reply. 

He calls your name upon entering, no response. Gus comes running up to him to headbutt his legs and meow, a quick look lets him know his water bowl is clean and automatic feeder full, that’s a good sign. His voice trembles as he calls for you again. 

“You know where she is?” Great, now he’s speaking to the cat, and he meows in response, great, an actual conversation with a cat. Gus takes off and squeezes himself into a room with the door ajar, your bedroom. He knocks before entering, not expecting a response. The room is dark except for the light coming from your laptop, empty and half-full glasses taking up most of the space on your desk, chair full of unfolded clothes and a doughnut of blankets on the bed.

“Go away.” The doughnut speaks. His heart breaks at the sad, much softer than usual tone of your voice.

“Love.” The pet name slips from his lips, he notices but doesn’t attempt to correct himself. He walks closer until he’s sitting next to you. “Can I help you?” 

You shake your head no, or what’s visible of it. “Go away, I stink.” He chuckles.

“That’s fine, smell better than the lads in base.” It’s a pathetic attempt at humour, you still shake your head no.

“You don’t have to do anything.” You don’t sound sad or angry like he thought you might, it’s emotionless, almost like an automatic generated response.

“But I want to. Want tae tak’ care o ye” He wants to make everything better, wants to fix everything, wants you happy and energetic and smiling. It’s silly how much he cares for you after barely a month of knowing eachother, scary now that he’s admitting it out loud. He pulls down the blankets for a full view of your face, his hand goes to your hair, it’s tangled, he’s careful not to pull on it. “Am gunna run you a bath.” It’s not a question, you laugh slightly and he smiles, realising what he said. “Didny mean it like that, c’mon.” 

He helps you up from the bed and into the restroom. From your seat ion the toilet, you observe the way he turns on the tap and rummages through your cabinet, trying to find something to put in the water, you assume. “The orange bar in the back.” He halts, looks for a second and comes up with it, he leaves it on the sink while he turns off the water, you grab the bar and crumble a bit of it into the tub. He looks at you and gets up, you take it as your cue to undress and get in. Johnny comes back with a change of pyjamas and underwear and leaves again. You can hear him moving around and making noise, talking to the cat in occasion, while you clean yourself, when he comes back it’s to put your dirty laundry in the hamper. You don’t know why that’s the thing that makes you break and start crying. As soon as he notices, he’s on his knees next to you, softly caressing your cheeks and moving your damp hair away from your face.

“Whit’s wrong?” 

“I don’t want you to do this.” Is no reply to his question. “I don’t want you to have to do this.”

“M’eudail.” He starts. “It’s okay.”

���No it’s not!” You look up at him” I’m so sad all the fucking time and I don’t want you to have to deal with that, it’s not fair to you, you know? I don’t want you to have to take care of me or put up with me.”

“But what if I want to? Wanna take care of you, wanna put up with you.” You shake your head no, looking back down.

“Johnny, I’m so much. I get so clingy and stupid.” 

“That’s fine by me.” There’s no deterring him. He lifts your head up by your chin to kiss your forehead, bright blue eyes staring at you. 

And you realise how ridiculous this is. You’re crying in the bathtub, your friend-situationship is on his knees next to you, again, crying in the bathtub. You let out a sigh and nod.

“Okay.” 

#cod mw2 fanfic #cod x reader #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #john mactavish x you #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish x you #johnny soap mctavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish x you #soap x you

[purplephantomwolf]

Love in Motion

Chapter Three

Synopsis: Lydia gets a wrong number text from Lando Norris.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately.

Warnings for this chapter: None

Previous Chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two

Next Chapter: Chapter Four

Masterlist

April 5, 2022

6:30 pm

     My phone vibrates, pulling my attention away from the lab report I’m currently working on. I smile as Luke’s name flashes up on the screen. 

Luke: Good morning, Lydia

Me: Good morning, Luke

Luke: Did you sleep well and have a good day? 

Me: I did! Did you sleep well and have a good day as well? What did you do during the day?

Luke: I did too! I spent the day putting some finishing touches on an event for this weekend. Did you watch any more F1 during class today?

Me: No, I was a good student today. But I’ve got a Monza quali on as I work on my lab report. 

Luke: Ahh, that was an exciting weekend for McLaren. 

Me: Shhhh! Don’t say anything! I don’t know the results!

Luke: Sorry! My lips are sealed. 

Me: I know that Max obviously wins the championship, but that’s literally all I know about the season. I’ve managed to not see any of the results. 

Luke: How have you managed that? 

Me: I know literally no one who watches F1, so no one to spoil it for me. 

Luke: Well, now you have a friend to talk to about it. 

Me: I do! You’re going to get a bunch of texts on Saturdays and Sundays about it. 

Luke: That sounds good to me. I won’t be able to respond to them because those are my busy days. 

Me: Sounds good. I’ll try to not overwhelm you with texts then. 

Luke: Alright. Do you want to continue our game of 20 questions? 

Me: Sure, it was your turn to ask a question!

Luke: Okay, going to go deep here. What’s your biggest fear?

Me: Damn, that is deep. But I think it’s not being able to find someone. I fear that I’m going to end up alone, with no friends, no significant other. My turn to go deep. What do you do to cope when things get hard? 

Luke: I go to my family and friends. I talk to them about what’s going on and what I’m struggling with. What’s your favourite thing about yourself, physically and not physically?

Me: Physically, my eyes. Not physically, probably my ability to get along with everyone. What’s your biggest pet peeve about social media?

Luke: The hate that everyone dishes out because they’re behind a screen. It’s awful to see the things people comment on posts of the drivers and their friends, just because they’re behind a screen. 

Me: I’m sure. I personally dislike social media, so I’m not really on it. I’m only on TikTok and Discord. 

Luke: No Instagram? No Twitter? 

Me: Not even Facebook. 

Luke: Damn, I wish I could do that. I have to do it for my job. 

Me: Yeah, it’s nice not having to worry about putting up a facade for my fellow college students to hate on. 

Luke: Yeah, that’s nice. So, photography. Your photos are excellent. How did you get so good?

Me: Well, my grandpa was a photographer for a while. I used to spend a lot of time in his studio, so I kind of picked things up from him. Then I took some classes in high school. I’ve luckily managed to find time each week to take photos in college, so I haven’t lost my skills. 

Luke: That’s awesome. You mentioned that your parents won’t let you do photography. Why don’t you find a job in it and then move out? 

Me: I’ve thought about it. But there’s no jobs that I’ve seen that I would be interested in. 

Luke: That sucks, I’m sorry. 

Me: It’s okay! I’ve been keeping an eye out though. 

Luke: Okay, so what got you interested in Formula 1? 

Me: I saw a TikTok of one of the drivers one time and was like “He’s kinda cute and funny, wonder what he does.” Which led me down a rabbit hole that ended in an obsession with learning everything I can about the sport.

Luke: Interesting. Which driver was it?

Me: It was Charles, but then I was watching some old McLaren content of Carlos and Lando the same day, and Lando became my favorite. 

Luke: So Lando has always been your favourite?

Me: I’d say that yeah. What got you into the F1 world?

Luke: I had a friend that was in karting when I was a kid. He got me interested in the industry, and I thought it would be fun to plan the events for the drivers and fans. 

Me: That’s fun! As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I should go be a good student and work on my homework. 

Luke: Oh! Sorry for distracting you!

Me: It’s okay! I’ll talk to you once I’m done with my assignment?

Luke: Yeah! Sounds good to me!

Me: Perfect! Talk to you later!

Luke: Bye Lydia!

     I put my phone down and focus back on my assignment. I groan seeing that I still have five questions left. I hunker down and start making my way through the questions. 

************************************************************************

9 pm

Me: I am back. I have completed the god awful homework. 

Luke: That’s a win. So, tell me a little about yourself. 

Me: Well, what do you want to know?

Luke: Anything you want to tell me. 

Me: Well, I’m a 20 year old chemistry college student. My birthday is May 17. My favorite color is purple. I love watching YouTube, specifically Smii7y. I absolutely love music, I’m always listening to it. I like art and creative activities. Tell me a little about yourself now. 

Luke: Well, I’m a 21 year old event manager for McLaren F1 racing team. My birthday is November 13. I love traveling the world and taking photos, too. I love hanging out with my friends and family.

    I yawn as I read Luke’s message. I rub my eyes, trying to stay awake to continue the conversation. 

Me: I am currently fighting sleep so hard. 

Luke: Go to sleep, Lydia. We can talk tomorrow. 

Me: Okay, sounds good. Good night, Luke. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Luke: Good night, Lydia. Talk to you tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @dilemmaontwolegs @copper-boom @ironmaiden1313 @ophcelia

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 story #lando norris #lando norris story #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris imagines #lando norris x oc

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Congratulations for the 450 followers ! You deserves it ! Have one more ❤️

Can I request a 5 and 13 for the fic roulette ? With Mayday , please 👌

Hello my lovely, @griffedeloup

I loved having Mayday to work with; I tried a different approach for this one. I hope you enjoy it. I look forward to writing more for this lovely man.

Love oo,

Italics - Comms

Encrypted Communication

Warning: Mixed communications, insults, curse words, I think that's it, let me know if I miss any.

Main Master List   |  Star Wars Fic Roulette

{03:24 - Encrypted communication} - Looking for your report cadet, why isn’t it on my desk?

{03:27 - Encrypted communication} - Cadet, I’m not going to ask again! Report better be on my desk in the next five minutes or I’ll have you running 50 laps before breakfast!

You groaned as your comm beeped frantically, you grabbed to look at the messages you were receiving. Groaning in annoyance. 

{03:35} To whoever typed in the wrong karking number - I’m not your cadet. So shut up!

{03:36 - Encrypted communication} - Do you think this is funny, cadet? Also why isn’t your communicator encrypted?

You blinked at the message. 

{03:37} I’m sure this is more than what you were expecting, but do me a favour, jackass, and look at the number you’re typing!

{03:38 - Encrypted communication} … // … // … I apologize for the late comm messages. It was unintentional. Apparently my cadet thought it would be funny to change one number on the number I have saved under his name on my communicator. I will definitely make sure to exact punishment on the cadet.

You couldn’t help smirk at the message, feeling sorry for the cadet but also pretty impressed he was about to get a hold of his commander’s comm device. 

{03:39} No worries. Although I hope you don’t kill your cadet. If you don’t mind my asking, how did he get a hold of your comm?

{03:40 - Encrypted communication} More than likely while I was taking a shower. I do apologize for the inconvenience. 

{03:41} That’s okay. You smirked. Tell me, you really gonna make your cadet run 50 laps?

{03:43 - Encrypted communication} I do believe the punishment should fit the crime although I may make him run 75.

{03:44} Okay, I feel bad for him … I’m assuming it’s a him? Could be a her?

{03:45 - Encrypted communication} It’s a him. 

{03:46} So I’m assuming you can’t sleep

{03:46} - Encrypted communication} Can’t sleep?

{03:47} Well you’re up and texting someone at 3 in the morning. Actually for the past 20 minutes give or take, so either you’re living somewhere that’s in a different time zone or … you can’t sleep and feel the need to torture those who are beneath you.

As you sent the message you regretted the innuendo that it sounded like. 

{03:48} Okay, that wasn’t meant to sound like it did.

{03:48 - Encrypted communication} Hahaha, but you’re right. On both fronts. 

{03:49} Oh really! LOL. That’s interesting to know. By the way, what’s your name? 

And that weird three a.m., conversation was the beginnings of your friendship with Mayday, now almost six months later, you two were exchanging messages like there was no tomorrow, and in fairness for a man who was somewhere in the galaxy, somewhere possibly fighting for his life the least you could was answer his messages. 

{12:40 - Encrypted communication} Good afternoon, mesh’la. You won’t believe the osik storm I’ve had to deal with today.

{12:41 - Encrypted communication} Hey handsome, what happened?

{12:42 - Encrypted communication} I’m getting transferred 

{12:43 - Encrypted communication} What??? Why??

{12:44 - Encrypted communication} Redeployment of assets. On the plus side I’ll be on Coruscant for the month before I have to get sent to my new station.

{12:45 - Encrypted communication} You’re coming here! Whoa! I wasn’t ready for that.

{12:46 - Encrypted communication} I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it

{12:47 - Encrypted communication} Are you crazy? Of course you should’ve! I just never … I just never thought we’d actually meet in person. I mean yes, you walked me through encrypting my comm, and when I asked for a picture you sent me a picture of your helmet, which hahaha very funny by the way. But now, you’ll be here… on the same planet. With me. That’s … I’m beyond excited! Sorry that seems a bit much.

{12:49 - Encrypted communication} LOL no at all, mesh’la. I’m excited to meet you too. I’ll be arriving in two days. Maybe I can meet you at the cafe you talked about last time.

{12:50 - Encrypted communication} Alright, I’ll meet at Snow Capped Cafe. What time works for you?

{12:51 - Encrypted communication} I’ll be arriving on Coruscant, hopefully around 1300 hours. So after my debrief I should … hopefully, be available by 1930. 

{12:52 - Encrypted communication} I’m taking a shot and say that’s 7:30 p.m.?

{12:53 - Encrypted communication} Hahaha, yes mesh’la. 730 p.m. You know we went over military time a while back, you should know that. 

{12:54 - Encrypted communication} I know! I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better. 

{12:55 - Encrypted communication} You don’t have to do anything mesh’la. You just have to do you. I look forward to seeing you, and finally meeting you in person. I’ve looked at your picture enough to memorize what you look like, I’ll find you.

 {12:56 - Encrypted communication} Can’t wait, Mayday. See you in two days. 

Those two days went by faster than you expected, you sat in the cafe, staring at your cup of tea. You’d bought Mayday’s cup of coffee. Your stomach felt as though it had butterflies tied into knots being tossed about on a stormy sea. You wanted to throw up, run to the bathroom, and take a nap all at the same time. 

Mayday rushed to get to the cafe, the last thing he wanted to be was late, simply because one karking officer didn’t know when enough was enough and needed to shut up. Thankfully, it wasn’t far to the cafe, he came to a halt just before the cafe. He closed his eyes and took a breath. He looked in and saw you sitting at a table in the corner. You looked more beautiful than you had in your picture. 

Suddenly, the idea of actually talking to you face-to-face seemed like a really bad idea. That was until he saw your message.

{19:32 - Encrypted communication} Hey don’t want to make it feel like I'm pushing, just wondering if your debriefing is running late?

He couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face the moment he read your message. He took in a deep breath and walked in, heading straight to you with a smile on his face. 

“Mesh’la?”

You looked up from your comm and smiled at him, standing up, “Mayday?”

“Hi” he smiled, brimming from ear to ear. It was awkward for a second before you both mutually decided without speaking to hug each other. “It’s so good to finally meet you, mesh’la.”

“You too!” You breathed in his scent, trying to remember the woodsy, peppermint, coffee, gun oil smell that seemed to be his. Somehow that scent made all your knots, butterflies, and raging storms calm down. In his arms you felt at home, at peace. 

You both pulled back to look at each other, smiling. “How was your flight back?”

“Hellish, boring, but I made it.” He smirked. 

You motioned for him to sit down, “Do you want something to eat or drink?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Please, my treat!”

He smiled and nodded, “In that case, surprise me.”

Surprise him you did, with a sandwich that was filled with grease, cheese, some sort of meat, and a sauce that was to die for, along with a pecan pie slice, and a mochaccino that had whipped cream, with chocolate shavings. You walked over with the number for your order and placed it on the table, smiling as you sat in front of him. 

“Thanks for making this a possibility,” you smiled chewing on your lower lip. 

“C’mon, like I need an excuse to spend time with you. Not my mesh’la, the one who came up with the most effective way to torture someone.”

You started laughing, “All I said was it would suck if they had to run without their flight suits in cold weather. You’re the one who went all out with it being the perfect punishment for anyone who didn’t turn in their reports.”

“And you know I’ve been getting everyone’s report on the dot, thanks to your genius.” He chuckled as he looked at you. His eyes widened when the waitress brought over the food and placed the mochaccino, “Wow, when I told you to surprise me, you really surprised me.”

“Well I got some stuff that I thought you might like and the best hot sauce around.” you pulled out your secret hot sauce from your bag and placed it on the table, “You said you liked sweet and spicy. So I got you pecan pie and a mochaccino with whipped cream, and the most greasy yet delicious sandwich imaginable.”

Mayday reached over and held your hand, stroking your knuckles with the back of his thumb, “Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any more perfect.”

You felt your face flush as you looked at him, “And just when I thought you couldn’t get any smoother with your lines. Where are you getting transferred to?”

“Barton IV”

“Barton IV, where’s that?”

“Somewhere that doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot to the Empire.”

“Then why go?”

“Because that’s what a clone Commander is supposed to do.”

“Just be safe, when you do go. So you’re here for a month… so much to plan and do.” You smile as you look at him. “Is this your first time to Coruscant?”

“I’ve been here a number of times, don’t worry. I know my way around, but I’d still like to see what you have planned.” He smirked as he looked at you.

“Hmmm so many options. Well have you been to 79’s?”

“Of course.”

“Great! Than you can take me! We have to build up these memories before you leave.”

“Don’t worry, mesh’la, even without memories, I’ll still be the best pen pal, you could’ve hoped for.”

You nodded as you glanced down to the pecan pie, chewing the inside of your cheek, “Is that … what we are, pen pals?”

Mayday squeezed your hand, “I thought we were friends, I hoped really good friends.”

You lifted your eyes half way, “What if … we tried for more than that?”

“Then you would’ve made this Commander the happiest Commander in the Imperial Army.”

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[jihopesjoint]

I’m sorry if someone has already asked you this but I just discovered your blog and I have to know what your headcannons are of BTS while high

anon… NO ONE has asked me this yet!!!! and you have my whole entire heart for taking one for the team and doing god’s work. i have treated this ask with the utmost importance and i only hope that i don’t disappoint you. also i'm sorry this took me literally all day LMFAO let me just open this with a blanket statement: the sheer number of bangtan giggles that there would be. i think i would die. anyway. onwards and upwards

namjoon

tbh my boy namjoon already speaks like he is stoned. he is ALWAYS waxing poetic and having an existential crisis, and that would increase tenfold if found holding a blunt. he’s making connections, he’s drawing conclusions. the empty chip bag that he has just devoured is definitely a metaphor for fame and how people take everything they love from you and then there’s nothing left for yourself. he’d sit on that for about five minutes before feeling guilty for thinking such thoughts about HIS army, who always refills his metaphorical chip bag.

seokjin

think of the windshield wiper laughs. OH he would be making the stupidest jokes (yes more than he already does). he gets great pleasure from jokes that make people groan. in seeming direct contrast, our gamer guy would be absolutely COUCHLOCKED. but he’d find that for some reason he just isn’t as angry at failures/deaths as he would be sober. and he thinks, “is THIS peace? have i never known it before this moment?” he didn't think he could get any more go with the flow than he already was. but if you think he’s not paying attention to the room around him, think again. he's making fun of everyone else losing their minds, all with eyes glued to the screen.

yoongi

oh bro. yoongi? he’s already an encyclopedia of useless knowledge, sprinkled with existential dread and hatred of the system. my man is ranting and RAVING about the capitalist machine. he doesn't understand why people have to work themselves to death to survive with no opportunity to enjoy life. he's pissed about the fact that he now benefits so greatly from a system he initially set out to be publicly against. and then he'll go on for 15 minutes about stucco, no transition. he's also hearing the most mundane sounds and recording them on his phone because they'll be perfect samples for a track. and then when he listens back to them the next day, he'll be like "what the absolute fuck was this?"

hobi

hobi for the first 20 minutes of the high is a silent observer. it's a little overwhelming right at the beginning, so he's probably a little in his head. he's just taking everything in. but after he crests the peak, he is loosey goosey. music has never made him want to dance more, and he didn't know that was possible. our boy's taste in music is made for getting stoned to. he's wiggling over to the snacks, wiggling with the snacks in his hand. falling to the floor, shouting with laughter when he sees how absolutely ZOOTED his members are. after he wipes the tears from his eyes, he sees yoongi sampling the sound of the ice maker and immediately goes over to be his ultimate hype man.

jimin

park jimin. my sweet baby. he knows that mama didn’t raise no bitch, so he’s taken extra hits after everyone’s tapped out. his eyes are basically permanently shut. for the life of him he cannot stop giggling. he’s in that every single thing that happens is funny mode. can’t hold himself upright. we’re talking hands on shoulders, we’re talking heads in laps, we’re talking falling to the floor. kim taehyung is the funniest person to exist in his eyes (yes more than normal). usually he cringes at himself speaking affectionately about his members, but all inhibitions are gone. he loves them SO MUCH, and he’s absolutely not going to shut up about it. he’s making grandiose plans for them to never get around to doing together because they’re not actually reasonable.

taehyung

taehyung is also thinking thoughts, putting things together. we're talking about the brain that brought us borahae. of course, for one good realization, you have to have about one hundred terrible ones. think of the highest thought you've ever had, or have ever heard someone else have, and you might have stepped inside the anomaly that is kim taehyung's head. some shit like, "what if birds aren't singing and they're actually screaming because they're afraid of heights?" and of course, jimin is fully ready to take this thought that he accidentally vocalized, turn it into a bit, and beat it into the ground. legend has it they're still figuring this out.

jungkook

on his most productive day, our maknae is operating as head empty, no thoughts. so there's no doubt in my mind that he's staring at the wall. not a damn thing is happening up there, i promise you. he's just realized AGAIN that he has hands, but he has no idea what to do with them. because he's completely unaware of what's going on in the room around him, he's interrupted taehyung and jimin's bit to ask them what he should do about his hand predicament. but while he was trying to get their attention, his hand brushed over one of the blankets on the couch and goddamn is it not the softest thing he's ever felt. so his focus has shifted entirely to feeling this blanket. rinse and repeat.

#that taehyung thought was from a meme i saw ngl #anon thank you so much for trusting me with this question #bts #bts headcanons #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #rm #jin #suga #j hope #jimin #v #jungkook

[theodorecanaryhood]

The Tattooist and the Artist: the love that fell eternally

Part V

Jason Todd (middle) x Male! Reader

The whole day was planned out perfectly, no loopholes or interruptions.

Though, to say Jason was terrified would be a lie, he hadn’t even been able to focus on his work today, at least not to his max level he usually does.

‘All right, that’s all done, just gonna wrap this up’ Jason said as he finished up the tattoo he was doing.

The client seemed was really pleased with the result, seeming eager to get it healed and show it off.

‘I’ll just take you over the aftercare’ Jason smiled, bringing over a pack on info about it for his client.

Something he did regular for when a client had their first tattoo done, Jason always liked to work on peoples body, but felt more so honoured when they came to him for their first.

The drive home after the day was a good one as Jason had only his thoughts, remembering the first time he tattooed you.

‘I just want something simple, something that won’t hurt too much’ you smiled as you held up a design.

As an artist yourself, you had the advantage of picking out what you wanted correctly, as you could create it yourself.

Once it was done, you smiled when you’d see it, as it reminded you of you and Jason. Then the second piece, then a few more after.

You’d never trust anyone enough to mark your body, but then Jason does it in other ways, and does it so well.

‘I was thinking Star B’s first and then maybe a walk around, we got dinner reservations at 6.30, so we got plenty of time’ Jason beamed in the sun, holding your hand as the two of you walked down the street.

Intertwined fingers as you swung your arm slightly while Jason’s touch made you feel warm, you hadn’t thought about relationships before, but then you and Jason had been together for so long now that it made you realise you were waiting. Waiting for him.

You grabbed a seat with your coffee while you waited for Jason to come over, as his drink wasn’t ready yet.

‘Latte for Jason’ the female barista called out, smiling as Jason smiled back and took it.

She was a pretty girl roughly about 21/22 with brown hair and eyes, Jason saw on his cup that there was a different name and a phone number.

‘Erm, sorry there’s someone else’s name on here, with a phone number?’ Jason spoke to the barista, who laughed as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

‘It’s my name and number, I finish work in about 20’

Jason didn’t want to laugh in her face but was a little surprised and flattered, he looked her in the eyes.

‘I’m really honoured sweetheart, but I’m with my boyfriend’ Jason said, watching as the baristas face dropped.

Jason went over and sat at the table with you, chuckling to himself a little.

‘What’s so funny?’ You asked, sipping your coffee.

‘Barista hit on me’ Jason said as he took his first sip, you shot an eyebrow up.

‘Really? She cute? You should take her out’ you laughed, Jason taking your hand.

Jason felt a rush every time he touched you, and vice versa, he loved the feel of your skin. Soft, warm, loving.

It also always made Jason hard on the spot no matter where he was, or what he was doing.

You knew this as you would always smile devilishly at the fact that Jason had to try and cover himself up.

Jason drove the two of you to the next big spot where he took you to dinner, it was a simple restaurant with a nice aesthetic for romance, but not overdone.

Jason hadn’t let go of your hand the whole drive, the walk from the car, holding the entrance door open for you.

‘The waiters cute’ Jason joked, trying to distract himself from his thoughts drifting off.

You’d noticed by this point that Jason was a wreak, powering down his drink. Seeming nervous. Kept checking his jacket pockets.

After dinner, Jason held your hand as you both went on a walk over a pier as the moonlight hit the water.

‘Oh look, fireworks’ you pointed as you stopped to watch them.

Jason took a deep breath as he looked at your face, lit up by the combination of the moon and the fireworks going off.

‘Y/n?’ Jason caught your attention, you looked at him, with a small smile.

‘Yeah?’

‘I love you so much, so much it hurts, I can’t picture my life without you, and I don’t want to call you my boyfriend anymore’ Jason began, pulling a small box out of his jacket pocket as he got down on one knee.

You gasped with wide eyes as you watched your boyfriend drop down, not knowing what to do.

‘Y/n, will you marry me?’ Jason asked you, opening the box that showed two rings inside.

Black bands with diamonds going round the middle, you had tears in your eyes.

‘Oh my, Jason, yes’ you almost whispered as Jason pulled the smaller ring out and placed it on your finger.

Jason stood up and grabbed your face kissing you, the deepest he’s ever kissed you. Smiling into the kiss.

The kiss was made even more special by the fireworks that were let off simultaneously, it was magical. And Jason was so happy it had all come together.

‘I love you’ you said as you pulled away from the kiss, looking into Jason’s eyes.

‘I love you too’ Jason smiled, kissing you again.

You took the larger ring out of the box and placed it on Jason’s finger, something you just decided on the spot.

‘My husband’ Jason thought out loud, you smiled brightly as you kissed Jason again.

‘Y/n Todd sounds good’ you laughed as Jason sipped you down.

The drive home was a hard one as all you wanted to do was get into bed with your fiancé, growing more and more impatient with every red light and stop sign.

Finally, you made it back home safely with your man, who had his hands all over you. The second you two got into the apartment, Jason sink his teeth into your neck.

You moaned out as you pressed your butt into Jason’s groin, a groin that was aching for you. Jason took your jacket off, letting it fall on the floor.

You turned around as you kissed Jason, hungry for his skin, his touch.

You began unbuttoning Jason’s shirt before he’d even taken his jacket off, making Jason laugh.

‘Easy baby, we got all night’ Jason soothed as he pushed you against the wall.

Before you knew it all of yours and Jason’s clothes had come off, scattered all over the apartment. Sounds filled every room, every corner.

There wasn’t a part of Jason’s body you hadn’t kissed, there wasn’t a part of your body Jason hadn’t kissed. Jason made sure to leave hickeys all over your body, most on show for men to know you were his.

You lay on your back with your legs spread apart, Jason deep inside you with his one hand on the headboard and the other on your waist.

‘Oh Jason, feels so good’ you called out, making sure to be vocal, as Jason liked it.

He liked to know he was making his man feel good, and not just in the bedroom. But everywhere.

Jason flipped you over onto your front as he buried his length into you again, you were nearly in tears from how good it felt, how in love you are.

Jason slammed into you as he found good balance while on his knees, you sunk your teeth into the pillow. Stopping yourself from screaming too loud.

‘Oh God baby, I’m not gonna last much longer’ Jason growled.

You got up on your knees too, resting your head on Jason’s shoulder as he reached down to jerk you, you were already close. Jason just wanted to make sure he finished you off, also making sure you got off first.

‘Shit, I’m coming, so close please don’t stop’ you whimpered as Jason smiled in satisfaction as he watched you spill everywhere.

Jason rested his hands on your shoulder as he pushed you back down, running his hands down your back, holding your waist.

‘Fuck’ Jason roared as he slammed hard into you, you felt as his seed spilled inside you.

Jason leant down as he kissed your back, falling into the mattress with you in his arms. Both of you struggling to catch your breaths.

‘That was amazing, can we go again?’ Jason asked, panting as the sweat dripped down his face.

‘Save some of that stamina for the wedding night’ you laughed as you rolled over, kissing Jason.

You both fell asleep holding onto each other, while not putting your clothes back on. You just stayed the way you were.

Jason’s lips buried into your hair as you held onto his strong arms, feeling safe where you were. Both feeling like you could stay there forever.

#red hood #gotham #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd #red hood x y/n #red hood x male reader #jason todd x male reader

[greazyfloz]

hii could you do prompt 17 or 20 (angst) or maybe combined them together with Luca

You're Pregnant?

Angst: 17. “You’re pregnant?” “I don’t want it” & 20. “Are you cheating on me”

I was hanging out with my friends and roommate and we decided to do the TikTok trend just for fun where we all pee on a pregnancy test and mix them together, pregnancy roulette. We did it as a joke not thinking any of us would actually be pregnant. We all went to the bathroom then all set them in the sink when we were done. 

“Oh no, what if one of us is pregnant” Macy says

“That would actually be funny” I laugh

“Wait, when is the last time everyone has had sex?” Beck says “I haven’t in a month or so” she continued

“Like first week of semester” Macy laughs at herself

“Like last weekend” Emilie says. 

“Like 3 hours ago” I say covering my face laughing and everyone joins in.

“Watch, you’re the one that’s pregnant!” Emilie laughs

“Wait- did someone buy other tests just in case someone is pregnant?” Macy asks

“No, no one is pregnant” I laugh, “Well, I’m not. Luca and I are careful’ I say as Emilie stands up making her way over to her sink.

“Okay let’s see” she says turning her head away picking up a random test “Negative” she says, and we cheer, “Next one… Negative” and we cheered, “Number 3… Negative” she picks up the last test and looks at it. “No fucking way!” she gasps

“What?!” we all yell at her

“Someone is pregnant” she says, turning the test over to show us. We all look at eachother in shock. 

“It’s definitely Emilie” Macy says

“No way! It’s def Y/n. Her and Luca are always at it” Emilie replies

“Okay well lets go back to the pharmacy and get tests” Beck says stands up, “I’ll drive”. We all make our way to the pharmacy when my phone buzzes. I look down to see Luca’s name on my phone. I turn it back over and Beck parks her car in the parking lot. Inside I get another text from Luca so I look at the messages and text him back:

63💖: Miss you ❤️

63💖: Come over after practice? ;)

Y/n: Miss you more ❤️ Of course ;)

We checkout the tests and rush home to take them. “Who wants to go first?” Macy says

“I think Y/n should, she has the most sex” Emilie says

“Fine, I’ll go first” I say going to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. After I pee on the stick I just sit on the toilet and pray while it is loading on the counter beside me. After my timer on my phone went off I open the door, “I can’t look, someone come here” I say and Beck enters the bathroom with the other two following. She turns it over and I look away from her. 

“It’s you” Beck says

“I am going to be sick” I say, closing my eyes.  “How am I going to tell Luca? What is he going to think?!”

“He loves you, he -” Macy starts

“We have only been together for a year” I say cutting her off, “He literally just told me he loves me for the first time like a month ago”

“When are you going to tell him?” Emilie asks

“I don’t know” I say getting up. “I’m going back to the dorms” I say leaving

Luca texted me back shortly after getting to my room. I plug my phone onto the charger and take the pregnancy test and put it on my nightstand. I sigh before picking my phone back up:

63💖: Just leaving Yost. Can’t wait to hear your pretty little moans👅

Y/n: Sorry, I’m sick

I text him back then put my phone away. I hear my phone buzz a couple of times then I turn it off. Beck comes in and sit on my bed “Hey, you going to be alright?” she says

“N-no” I finally allow myself to cry and she brings me in for a hug. I cry for what feels like hours and she just held onto me. 

“We will go to the clinic together tomorrow, okay?” I nod and tell her I’m going to bed. 

When I wake up in the morning I turn on my phone to see a couple texts from Luca:

63💖: You okay?

63💖: Are you having a bad day?

63💖: Want me to come over?

-Missed Call: 63💖-

63💖: Babe answer

-Missed Call: 63💖-

-Missed Call: 63💖-

63💖: I’m worried please pick up

-Missed Call: 63💖-

63💖: Please text me when you see this

“Is that all from Luca” Beck asks me listening to my phone buzz over and over after turning it on. I look over and nod “He texted me last night asking if you were here and if he come over”

“What did you say?”

“I said you were asleep and that I would tell you to call him when you wake up”

“Well, I’m still asleep then” I say

“Y/n you are going to have to tell him.” She says looking at me sadly. I stand up and walk towards the door before looking back

“Let’s get this over with”

We sit in the clinic and wait for the doctor to come back to tell us what I already know. He enters and takes a seat beside me looking down at his clipboard then back up to me. “Well you definitely are pregnant, Congratulations” he says. I just nod my head and Beck rubs my back. He asked me a couple more questions before handing me a pamphlet with ‘choices’ on how to continue my pregnancy. 

When we got back to my dorm room, I go to my bed lifting the covers, throwing them over me. My phone buzzes but I don’t bother looking. “Well I am going to the library to get some notes from this morning’s class, are you going to be okay?” Beck says and I nod, “Let me know if you need anything”. 

I slept the rest of the day and then through the night. When I wake the next morning I get up and grab a hoodie out of the closet before realizing I grabbed one of Luca’s, I look at it for a second and hang it back up. I grab another hoodie and some sweatpants before throwing my hair in a bun and walking to class. 

This is one of the 2 classes I had with Luca. If I don’t walk to class with him, I usually will be early enough that we can chat before class starts but today I walk in late. I look up quickly to see Luca in the back with the sit open beside him that he saved for me with Druss sitting on his other side. I take a seat in the front row, and I can sense Luca’s confusion from way up here.

[Luca’s POV]

Y/n walks into class wearing sweatpants and a stained old hoodie 15 minutes after the lecture started. Her hair was a mess and she didn’t look like her normal self. Instead of coming up to where we usually sit, she takes a seat in the front row. I stand to see if there is anywheres close that I could quietly go and change seats too but there was nothing. “That’s weird” Druss says looking over at Y/n

“She has been avoiding me all night, I don’t know what is going on” I say back.

The class goes on forever, I just need to speak to Y/n. As soon as we were dismissed I try to catch up to her but everyone stands at the same time. By the time I could maneuver around people to the front, she was no longer there. I look out into the hallway and she isn’t there. I decide to go to her dorm to see if she is there.

Once I get there I knock, and hear nothing from the other side. I stay a couple minutes knocking a couple times calling her name before leaving back to my room.

I enter my room and lay down on my bed, “FUCK!” I yell. And Adam looks over at me

“What?” he says 

“Y/n, she is acting so weird!” I start, “She has been ignoring me and she comes to class late today looking like she just rolled out of bed and doesn’t come up and sit where we normally sit and sat in the front of the lecture.”

“Well, did you try-” he starts

“I’ve done everything. I couldn’t catch her after class so I went to her dorm and got nothing. Last night her roommate said she would call me when she woke up and I got nothing” I interrupt

“Wanna call her from my phone and see if she answers?” Adam says and I grab his phone and press her contact. It rang and rang and rang before going to voicemail. “Nothing?” he asks me standing up, “I’ll be right back” he says leaving

[Y/n POV]

Luca came earlier and it was so hard sitting in here as he begs me to open the door from the other side. When he finally left I take my phone and text Beck:

Y/n: Luca was just here banging on the door. Please come back

Beck 🥰: On my way

I’m laying on my bed holding the test in my hand still just staring in shock. I hear a knock on my door and I put the test back on the nightstand then I turn back to stare at the door. “Y/n? It’s Adam, can you open the door?” I hear Adam on the other side before knocking again. “It’s just me, I promise” he says. I get up and finally open the door, moving to the side gesturing him in. 

He comes in and sits on the desk chair and I sit over on the bed. I just stare at my feet as he sighs “Luca is worried sick you know? He is really beating himself up.” He starts, “Did he do something? Or-” Adam stops. I look up and follow his eyes to see he is staring at the test on my night stand. “Um- are- what is that?” he says standing up. I cover my face with my hands and bring my knees in.

I hear Adam stand up and investigate the plastic stick. “Shit” he says

“I know” I cry into my knees

“Hey, hey stop crying for a second and look at me” I look up at Adam, “You have to tell him”

“I know, and everyone keeps telling me. And I just found out last night. And I went to the clinic this morning and-” I ramble

“You went to the clinic?” Adam questions

“Yes. I am 100% fucked” I say

“I’m going to tell him to see you, please tell him” Adam says standing up

“No please! Not yet.” I start sniffling, “I don’t know what to say”. I pick my phone out and read the texts:

63💖: Are you cheating on me?

63💖: I don’t know why you are randomly cutting me out

63💖: You are breaking my heart

63💖: You cheated didn’t you?

I look up at Adam and start crying harder than before. “H-he thinks I-I’m c-cheating” I cry into Adam’s arms. Adam pulls his phone out and texts someone then puts his phone away.

“I told Luca you had to tell him something” Adam says. He gives me a hug and the door opens.

“You told them?” Beck asks

“Just Adam” I say 

“Told them what?” I hear Luca’s voice. I look up to see him standing at the door. Both Adam and Beck leave and closes the door behind me.

“I’m sorry Luca” I cry out, “I don’t know how this happened” I walk towards him but he steps back

“Are you cheating on me? Who is he?” Luca asks

“I’m not cheating on you!” I cry falling to the floor. Luca sits on the floor beside me confused

“Then what is going on?”

“You’re going to hate me, Luca” 

“You’re scaring me Y/n” Luca whispers

“I’m pregnant” I finally say. “And, yes its yours” I say with hurt in my voice that he thought I was cheating.

Luca says "You're pregnant?" before going silent. He just sat and watched me cry on the floor before finally walking to the door opening it.

Before leaving he looks back at me.“I don’t want it” he says emotionless before slipping out the door.

Part 2 Coming soon :)

#luca fantilli #luca fantilli imagine #umich hockey imagine #umich imagine #umich hockey

[sparkytheandroid]

ABOUT NEW 50% OFF CONTENT

Hey sorry to get your attention like that, kind of a scummy move but bare with me a few moments. I’m the other person who made 50% Off, Sparky the Android, I also voiced Haru and Rin and some other small things. People usually just call me PJ now cause I don’t really make content anymore. Speaking of content Alex, Octopimp, decided he was going to make some new 50% Off content this past week and I would just like to explain some things as to why this is a real legitimate slap in the face to me personally. I want to stress that I was not sexually abused, physically abused, or in any major danger in my long creative partnership with Alex, he was just a scumbag who acted like an asshole and treated me really poorly over the course of the show forcing me to eventually quit. I was willing to just walk away from this stuff. Close the door, yknow? Get some closure but Alex seems intent on opening it by posting new 50% off content without talking to me about it first in any capacity. I have not spoken to Alex in several years but I was and always have been an equal creative factor in 50% Off, so him releasing new content without me feels especially insulting.   Alex came to me ten years ago asking if I would be interested in making an abridged series at the time because I had a background writing comedy and went to school for film. This was under the pretense of an equal partnership. We’re both funny, I’m a good writer and a decent voice actor, Alex is a decent writer and a good voice actor. He bought me my first voice acting microphone and we set to work developing the show with me refining a lot of our ideas into actual scripts to read from. As the series progressed I started taking on the larger writing work and Alex the larger editing work. Episodes went from 4 minute goofs (the original concept) to more longform almost 20 minute episodes at a time where characters had their own throughlines and stories progressing. It was a large task for the two of us, especially the difficulty of editing for Alex specifically. I don’t want any of this to seem like I did all the work, or that I never fought with or insulted Alex because that’s far from my point. Both of us were supposed to be partners but Alex consistently treated the show as SOLELY his in increasing amounts. I had to ask him to stop saying things like “I sign your paychecks.” or to stop insulting me in videos when he would add in insults against me without talking to me about it first. I can take an insult! I wrote some content insults about Alex too! But I was always up front and he would slip his insults in, or little jokes that were not in my scripts, without ever talking to me about them I would see them in the video premiers. He consistently minimized my involvement, I had to argue with him to get my name on the end slate, I wrote the theme rap, I wrote 90% of the material, I wrote our dumb tshirt commercials, the show is unequivocally so much of MY VOICE and I was begging to get a little more limelight or recognition. Alex took guest appearances at cons without talking to me. We did a panel at anime expo where HE was the guest and when I asked him about a badge to get into the con he informed me that he was giving the other pass to his girlfriend at the time. And while he did end up purchasing me a new badge to try and make good, just the act of not thinking that that badge should have been mine was so insulting. When we went to funimation he consistently bore it down on me that i was LUCKY that he flew me out so we could go to Funimation even though he would not be going in the first place without my scripts and voice. He made content without talking to me. He kept me at arms length in an arrangement that was supposed to be equal and I never spoke about it publicly because even a small amount of internet fame warped my little idiot brain and I wanted to keep being famous and cool on the internet. 

I never saw our official earnings numbers or even had access to the channel and took it on blind faith that I was being fair. When I quit the show because it was seriously becoming a real detriment to my mental health I walked away from any earnings the show would make after. 

It sucked. It sucked because I wanted to make more of the show. I wanted to finish season one. I promised people I would. It sucked because for some of it I was having fun! I was going to voice actor parties and people were paying attention to me. Selfishly I thought I could right the ship and turn it into a real career but I know that was never really an option. And it sucked because Alex and I WERE friends. I did some of my best material with him. Times hanging out with him where he was a genuine person were great. And I tried so many things! I realized arguing with him wasn't working so I figured it must be my fault. I tried being more supportive of him, supporting his streams, cheering him on at game tournaments, etc. But he just kept using me and the people around him to further his career. I just couldn’t take it anymore and I took the only ownership I really could and I walked away. The show stopped and, I’m sorry to the people who loved it, I think it should have stayed stopped. Nagisa is a fuckin racist caricature, one I actively contributed too regardless of the actions I took to make Nagisa smarter, more artistic, less of a one note joke about drugs and crime. Hell his final speech about how he felt about fetishizing MLM content at the time was feelings I WAS HAVING as a person coming to real terms with their queer identity. Alex is not a queer person! I am! I gave that speech to Alex to perform. I gave him MY VOICE. But it's still a racist caricature rooted in the past that is my fault for perpetuating.  

And again I’m not an angel. I argued with Alex a lot and said a lot of mean things to his face. Some stuff I regret because I’ve spent the time after the show specifically not shoving myself down another pipeline of making online content. The attention makes me stupid and I act like a jerk! I made mistakes while doing 50% Off and I’m sure I’ve hurt people too. I’m sorry to anyone who crossed my path when I was hopped up on stupid internet fame. You met one of the worst versions of me and it was my own doing. I’m sorry to Alex even for some of the stuff I said. But Alex leveraged his position of power over me as an excuse to treat me like shit. I’m in a good place in my life and I just wanted to shut the door on all this but Alex is intent on opening it after all these years and STILL minimizing my contributions. Saying things like “I just don't have the time/resources to make full episodes anymore.” He can’t make full episodes anymore because he would have to replace my voice in them but more than that replace my entire writing style. I was willing to let him upload a short like w/e its 2023 like whatever right? Tell your joke dude I don’t care. Then he posted another acting like he was going to do even more new 50% Off stuff and a close friend spoke with him saying it wasn't a good idea and he agreed. Then he posted them on youtube! And is saying stuff like this to people in the comments.

Like implying that the only reason he can't continue to produce 50% Off in full is because he doesn’t have the energy or schedule. He can’t continue because it would be continuing without me and I know deep down he KNOWS he shouldn’t. I don’t want any fucking clout or want you to watch any of my content because I don’t MAKE any. I wasn't sexually assaulted or physically abused. Alex was just a huge dick to me and a lot of my friends and we all just let it slide for all of our own personal reasons. Hell I was content just walking away the way I did, making the split seem amicable so there wasn’t a bunch of drama, letting the show stay up, and still field questions for people curious about it. I took my gdrive with every script i ever wrote for the show and just closed the door. I’m just tired after all these years of this guy actively ignoring my involvement in the show that is partially responsible for his internet fame. Tired of him pulling this bullshit “uwu i would love to make more but i just can't!” attitude to lie about why he can't actually make more. Tired of him opening that fucking door. 

A few years ago Alex got in contact with me through a friend with an apology. At the time he sent it many streamers were facing backlash for how they treated people in the past, ones closer to Alex, so this seemed suspiciously timed. The apology I got sounded like every other apology Alex had given me over the years. A lot of avoiding his own culpability in his actions. I told him that if we were to resume being friends it would take a lot. I think anyone who makes the effort deserves the chance to be redeemed, but I had absolutely zero trust in him and thought it was unlikely that he really wanted to make an effort to be a real friend to me. After that we resumed not speaking and when people asked me about him I still tried to make our split seem at least somewhat amicable and I try to generally avoid projects he is involved in. 

Imagine my surprise when he walked out on that Jerma stream. 

I want to thank everybody who watched 50% Off honestly and truly. I think some of it still shines as some of my best work. I got to do a lot of cool things like have my voice in a real anime, and I met tons of people who cared about me and my role in the show specifically. Those people were like life preservers while I felt like I was sinking in Alex’s shadow. It’s undeniably cool to have people respond to your work so well and I know I wouldn't have seen that happen without Alex’s skills as an entertainer and producer. Alex has hurt me personally as a friend, as a business partner, and has hurt several of my other friends in various ways with his behavior. The way I felt on 50% Off became truly harmful to my mental state. I struggle personally with imposter syndrome and RSD and at the time of making the show I had gone through very little therapy to help me develop healthy coping mechanisms for those things. It was just like pouring gasoline into a fire. And I really wanted to put it all behind me for the sake of my own mental health and life because all things considered I’m happy where I am now. I’ve worked really hard on myself personally and have been so lucky to have emotionally intelligent friends help me and give me so many chances I should not have deserved. I’m fortunate to be able to support myself and my cat, and I get to make personal art I love without having to push myself into the internet game because if I’m being honest I had a bad addiction to social media. I apologize I don’t have a nice resolution for you, I’m not asking you to stop watching 50% Off, or watch anything I make, or hell even stop watching Alex’s personal content. I just felt like I had this intense pit in my stomach seeing him parade around in the other half of our two person horse costume and insist he’s wearing the whole thing. Yknow? After all these years I just wanted to say SOMETHING about the way I was really treated so I could finally get some closure for myself. Thank you for your time and again to all the people who DID support the show thank you sincerely. 

#also without my involvement alex is a white cishet man writing queer characters #one of which is a racist stereotype #in 2023 #like cmon #octopimp #50% off! #free! abridged

[sleepybabybees]

Time for more shenanigans because I enjoy doing these-

Honestly- expect everyone at this point-

---

Price: Are you a painting?

Nik: What-?

Price: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Graves: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-

---

Price: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Price: Graves is still mad about it, but me and Nik were drunk and thought it was funny.

---

Price: Are you ready to commit?

Nik: Like, a crime or a relationship?

---

Price: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Laswell: ...I'm gonna kill him-

Nik: katie- no-

---

Laswell: Caw caw, motherfuckers.

---

Laswell: Where the devil is Graves?

Nik: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?

Price: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Laswell holding back a laugh: I hate that I found that funny- fuck you-

---

Price: Are you good?

Laswell: In what sense?

Price: Generally.

Laswell: Oh, definitely not.

---

Price: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Price, points at Nik: Married a lesbian.

Price, points at Graves: Left a man at the altar.

Price, points at Ghost: Fell in love with a Scottish soldier

Price, points at Laswell: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Price, points at Soap: Lives in a box!

---

Graves: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Nik: >:O language

Laswell: Yeah watch your fucking language

Ghost: Okay, who taught Laswell the fuck word?!

Price: 'The fuck word'.

Soap: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Laswell: Oh my god they censored it

Price: Say fuck, Soap.

Laswell: Do it, Soap. Say fuck.

---

Ghost: If I fall…

Price: I’ll be there to catch you.

Nik: *looks at Graves* What if I fall?

Graves: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Soap: *watches these two interactions*

Soap, to Laswell: And if I fall?

Laswell: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

---

Nik: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Laswell: No.

Gaz: I did not.

Ghost: I may have actually forgotten one.

Soap: Also no.

Nik: Oh good, neither did I.

Price: *Exhausted sigh*

---

Alex: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?

Alejandro: No. No, Alex, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Alex calls Farah. Number five: Rudy gets eaten by a shark.

Rudy: I’m Rudy, and I approve the order of that list.

---

Rudy: Farah, I have a couple of words to say to you.

Alex: Please let those two words be “I’m sorry.”

Alejandro: I’m ready with the bleep button if not.

---

Rudy: Those darn tall old people.

Farah: Darn em' indeed.

Alex: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.

Alejandro: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.

The Squad:

Alejandro: Hahaha.

Alejandro: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

---

Alejandro: That's ridiculous, Rudy doesn't have a crush on me.

Farah: Yes, he does.

Alex: Yes, he does.

Valeria: Yes, he does.

Rudy: Yes, I do.

---

Alex: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Rudy, exasperated: WHY?!?

Rudy points at Alejandro: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Rudy points at Farah: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Rudy points at Alex: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Rudy: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

---

Rudy: Hey Farah, wanna third wheel on my date with Alejandro tomorrow?

Farah: Sure.

Rudy: Alex! Wanna third wheel on my date with Alejandro tomorrow?

Rudy: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Farah &amp; Alex: ...

Alejandro: Rudy...

---

Alejandro: I love you.

Rudy: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*Alejandro and Rudy kiss passionately*

Alex, to Farah: You owe me 20 dollars.

---

Alex: *tapping fingers on table*

Rudy: *taps fingers back furiously*

Farah: …What’s going on?

Alejandro: Morse code. They’re talking.

Alex: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Rudy: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

---

Alejandro: Why are your tongues purple?

Alex: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Farah: I had a red one.

Alejandro: oh.

Alejandro:

Alejandro: OH.

Rudy:

Rudy: You drank eachothers slushies?

---

Soap: Why is Gaz crying on the floor?

Ghost: he's drunk.

Soap: And?

Ghost: he saw a picture of Roach's husband.

Soap: But he's Roach's husband?

Ghost: I know.

---

Ghost, referring to Roach and Gaz: Those guys are dorks.

Soap: Yes, but they’re our dorks.

---

Soap: Who would you swipe right for? Gaz or Ghost?

Roach : I would delete the app.

---

Soap: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Gaz: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Ghost: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Roach : My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

---

Roach : How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Gaz: *blushing* I—

Ghost, butting into the conversation: Soap is perfect, thanks for asking.

---

Eskell: You really believe in Shepard?

Oryn: Mmm… Luckily, he believes in himself enough for the both of us.

---

Shephard: Is this your plan B?

Eskell: Technically, this is plan P.

Shephard: Plan P? Is there a plan M?

Eskell: Yes, but I marry Oryn in plan M.

Oryn: I like plan M.

---

Shephard: *Reading a letter*

Oryn: Well, what does it say?

Shephard: It’s a confession letter. It turns out Eskell killed my pet rock.

---

Oryn, about Eskell: Can I tell them they look nice?

Shephard: Sure.

Oryn: Can I tell them I respect them?

Shephard: Maybe, if they ask.

Oryn: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?

Shephard: …

Shephard: I’d save that for later.

---

Eskell: *pitches an idea*

Shephard, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Oryn, under their breath and dialling laswell: Yeah, a lawsuit.

---

Horangi : That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Konig?

Konig: No.

Horangi : I think I speak for Konig when I say it sounds really super.

---

Konig: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Horangi : Peonies, why?

Konig:

Horangi : Were you going to get me flowers?

Konig:

Horangi :

Konig: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

---

Horangi : I want a bf.

Konig: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

---

Konig: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Horangi : Okay.

Konig: And make out during the scary parts.

Horangi : Th-

Horangi : The scary parts.

Horangi : Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

---

Horangi , taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.

Konig, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f-

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #call of duty #john price #ghostsoap #sergeant kyle gaz garrick #gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #gazroach #nikprice #cod nikolai #kate laswell #shadow company #call of duty original character #phillip graves #commander shepard #konig cod #horangi #incorrect quotes #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #farah karim #alex keller #valeria garza #shes mentioned once- it feels right to add her here

[hazbinsillynight]

It's the first day of the radiostatic week!!! Have you prepared something for it? Because I did! 😁😁

So, for the first day here, we are with the theme first meeting. Hope you'll like it!

Day 1: First meeting

It’s been 20 years since Alastor fell into this horrible yet entertaining place that people commonly call Hell. Life was always changing here, new people fell every day with all of the particularity that qualified them. There was always something new and funny to watch, but at the top of the big pyramide of the sinners in Pride district, the radio demon was bored.

These new people who arrived every day were nothing more for him than mere food. Not even interesting at all. The deer demon fought with a lot of Overlords, proving his superiority and trapping them inside his radio to have fun. But it’s been 20 years since he started ripping the life of the other Overlords and it had become quite uninteresting.   

A scream of pain resonated in the ears of the radio demon, sorting him off his thoughts. His ears started to twitch at the annoying sound of the prey he caught during one of his lonely walks. On his feet was a red-horned demon, crying and bleeding like a pig at the slaughterhouse. He begged for mercy in tears while Alastor crunched one of the fingers he ripped from the demon when he caught it like it was a common snack. 

Bothered by the screams he decided to kill the demon so he wouldn’t have to hear his horrible screams again. Usually, he quite liked it when a demon was begging him for mercy and from pain but this one must have been the exception. He was insufferably annoying. One last bloody gurgling and the “life” of the demon left his body.

“Well, this was disappointing.” The radio demon said with an iconic smile on his face. “Time to go I guess!”

The red Overlord was about to walk away when a strange rumbling noise came from behind the empty box and garbage of the dark alley where he ate. His ears turned in the direction of the sound and with a curious expression on his face, Alastor moved toward the piles of junk.

There was a humanoid shape behind the boxes, they looked stunned and clearly hadn’t seen Alastor lurking behind their back. The stranger was apparently a man, he had dark skin, sharp blue claws, and the most singular head than the radio demon had ever seen. 

“Urg…Where Am I…?” The new demon mumbled, not clearly seeing his surroundings.

Well, this was interesting! New demons fell every day but it was the first time the red Overlord ever saw one like him. It was as if technology took possession of his body, instead of a classic face he had a TV post. Alastor could even hear some static sound coming from the new guy. It wasn’t really audible for a classic demon but his demonic form was based on the one of an animal. He had a great audition compared to his demon peers. 

“Well in Hell of course!” Alastor exclaimed cheerfully, happy to have found a new source of entertainment.

“AAAH!! Dafuq is wrong with you!” The TV demon screamed before punching the Overlord in the face, clearly surprised to see him.

Alastor stayed still as an uneasy silence invaded the space between the two demons. He had been hit before but the demons that managed to touch him in a fight could be numbered with the fingers of a hand. Oooh this demon was more and more interesting with every second. He would have a lot of fun with this one.

“Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t want to hit you, you just scared the shit out of me.” The TV demon said, looking sorry at the man before him. 

“Worry not my friend! If you said you’re sorry and that hurting me wasn’t your intention I suppose I can let it pass!” Alastor said with a deranged smile on his face. 

He felt like a child during Christmas, waiting to open a present. This new demon was so strange, unusual, and funny! He couldn’t wait to see the next thing he would do to entertain him.

The stranger looked a bit confused and surprised by his reaction but it was nothing compared to the look on his face when he finally properly saw who or rather what kind of person he had in front of him. 

It was really funny to look at. Alastor could see his pixel eyes looking at his ears, woods, and smile with fear. 

“Oh worry not dear friend! I won’t hurt you or at least not now.” The Overlord said with the same smile he had since he met that new demon. “I never saw anyone like you before, it is quite interesting if I may say!”

“Ah! Uh thanks, I suppose? Look, pal, it's not against you but I need to go…” The stranger said before trying to get up. 

Alastor looked at him, trying to get on his legs, he looked like a baby deer with his first steps. It was kinda endearing. Where would he go that could be safe enough for a new demon? It wasn’t the safest quarter of the Pride district and all new demons were fragile and weaker, especially after their death.

If he goes, Alastor would probably lose his new source of entertainment for a while. Or worse the TV demon could make a deal with another Overlord! No that won’t do!

“You shouldn’t leave like that, my friend. It is very impolite. Besides, you’re clearly too weak to survive out there. It must have been a violent death you just had.” 

Barely standing up the TV demon looked at him, a bit out of breath and surprised. His confusion was adorable. 

“Death? I don’t under-”

Suddenly he cut himself in his sentence and passed his hand all over his torso. Tiny mistake here because his hands were what was holding him against the wall. Before he could fall Alastor grabbed him in his arms.

“Now, now, dear friend, I think you should rest, don't you agree?” Alastor said rather than asking, still smiling at the new demon in his arms.

The new demon looked at the strange and scary red guy over him, his vision was starting to get blurry, and black dots slowly invaded it. He didn’t understand, the last thing he remembered was the gunshots and then nothing. He woke up here. 

A shadow with a creepy green smile appeared next to the red guy with sharp teeth and wood, the two of them looked like they just got out of a scary movie or a nightmare. He tried to fight against the urge to sleep that was becoming stronger and stronger as much as the seconds passed, but in vain.

“Sleep well, my dear friend.” Said a cheerful voice before he fell into the darkness once again.

*********

When he woke up in an unknown place for the second time the TV demon wasn’t as shocked as he first was. He just hoped it was all a dream and that someone rescued him from the attack at the studio. The simple thought of what happened earlier frightened him and gave him the beginning of a headache. 

“Urgh…my head is killing me…” He rumbled trying to get his surroundings.

“I see you are awake!” The creepy red guy exclaimed near him, even if he couldn’t see well for now he could distingue the crazy smile on his face. “Do you need electricity? I chose a house that had some in case you might need it.”

The red guy?Deer? Creature? Honestly, he didn’t know what he was, was looking at him as if he was a new specimen and that he wanted nothing more than to dissect him alive. Urg…he didn’t have the strength to deal with this shit… His head was killing him and for an unknown reason heavier than he remembered. His whole body felt so weird right now.

“Why would I need electricity? And where are we? I swear if you lay a single hand on me you’ll have to deal with the cops!”

Why was he in this dream again? Why hadn’t he woke up when the darkness invaded him for the second time? Things weren’t right and the look on the other guy’s face wasn’t reassuring at all.

Alastor looked at the new demon to see if he was serious before bursting into laughter when he understood he was. His new friend was funnier than he first expected, perhaps he’ll keep him as a shadow if he couldn’t survive hell.

“Well for your head of course! I’m not sure if it works with your energy or if you need electricity. It would be better for you if it worked with your energy but who knows what fate has in reserve for you.”

The new demon looked at the man in front of him with apprehension. He was clearly mad. But at the same time wasn’t he to see or dream of such things? He passed a hand on his face when another wave of pain passed into him, and it was only then that the cold shower called reality hit him.

“What happened to my face?!” He screamed in panic as his hands tried to find something familiar on his face and head.

He has no hair, no nose, no ears, no anything! All he could feel was the coldness of the metal and glass, the sound of the guns still vivid in his mind. He felt himself on the edge of a panic attack which only amplified when he saw his hands and how sharp his nails were. It could destroy metal so easily now!

“See? I told you you were an interesting person! I never saw a demon like you my friend, perhaps you’re the first of your kind! There is no need to panic at all.”

Demon. He was a demon. Oh Lord, he was in hell. He died during that gunshot and now he was in hell.

“No need to panic?! I don’t have a freaking face anymore!” 

Just into what had he turned into? He was just stuck as nonhuman with some metallic head that weighed too much to be normal. He wasn’t stupid enough to say he didn’t deserve Hell. Clearly, he wasn’t the best human on earth, and he knew it, but still! Why couldn’t he look a bit more like this creepy red guy?

Suddenly music started to resonate in the room. The new demon turned his head to its source to find a shadow replica of the other demon playing the piano. It was smiling at him while the real red guy was bringing a huge mirror in front of him. The music kinda helped him to calm down.

“Here so you can see yourself. It is quite something when you first wake up here but I’m sure you’ll find your mark very quickly. I’ll be disappointed if you don’t. You look like a strong demon.”

The new demon sighed heavily and looked at the Overlord in front of him a little sorry. This guy looked and clearly was weird, but he wasn’t bad with him. The least he could do was to give him a chance.

“Thanks and….I’m sorry…” He said before nervously walking to the mirror.

In front of him as his reflection was a man with dark skin, sharp blue claws, and a TV for a head. It wasn’t like any model he ever saw back in the living world. It had a big screen and the antennas were shorter. There were two round boutons on the right of the screen, probably for the volume and the channel. On the screen were two huge red eyes and a sharp blue smile, he had no nose or ears but somehow it wasn’t preventing him from hearing or smelling around. 

“This is so weird…” He let out too much shock to look anywhere else other than the mirror.

“I was going to say exciting, entertaining, or original but if you prefer weird my friend then alright. It is weird.” The red demon said with his traditional smile. “I’m Alastor, the radio demon. A pleasure to meet you!” He added before taking his hands to shake them.

“I’m…well I…” 

“You know my friend, one of the good points of starting a new life with death is that you don’t need to bother with old undesirable baggage. So now tell me. What is your name?”

The TV demon smiled for the first time he woke up here and shook the hand Alastor was handing him. Yes, he could do this, he would survive Hell, and perhaps he could do it with his new friend.

“Call me Vox, friend.” 

#vox x alastor #radiostatic #alastor x vox #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #radiostaticweek2024 #tumblr fic #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #radiostatic week 2024