#...actually the notif issue is on another one of my blogs too.. maybe it's just me

[mintybeaches]

This is my design! When i'm doing at Low Poly stuff!....

@mintybeaches

-

Oh gosh I think Tumblr might think you’re a bot or smth D’: I wasn’t notified abou the asks- (Submissions aren’t notified on mobile so that part is normal but-)

#submission #low poly #3d model #sword #lordcrowthe2nd #but tysm!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #...actually the notif issue is on another one of my blogs too.. maybe it's just me #..........I hate this website and how it poorly functions >> #but I should also check more often probably #Mintysbox

[shesawriter39049]

|Breakdown’s & Bugatti’s| M|

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (Ft a hint of Tae & Jin)

About- Namjoon just does what he has to do to keep you ....calm while at a charity gala!  

OR:

CHAPTER 1 : MEET THE KIMS OF NEW YORK 

**WARNINGS: **Semi public sex, Fingering (F receiving), Minimal prep, Light dirty talk, Light spit play, Choking, Spanking, Gags (Makeshift), Non protective sex (Creampie), light overstimulation

WC: 7K (This is a sneak peak so it’s 1.2k)

NON SEXUAL WARNINGS: (Fictional political background)  Hints at recreational drug use (Molly) Brief mentions of death, father issues, and panic attacks/anxiety (All of these topics are super minor but again, out of respect I’m mentioning them) 

The remaining “characters” will be introduced at a later date

This chapter hints at various future plots 

This is almost 2 years old, I reworked it recently 

If you’ve been following me for a while this is the original draft for “Club First Royale” 

FINAL NOTE: I haven’t been active in damn hear a year ( 8 months) So I am posting sneak peeks intentionally! No, not to torture you guys lol but to get my blog flowing again because I’m sure people aren’t really checking in anymore

OT7 ALTERNATING STORYLINES

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY, fuck 36737 years later you spot your Kim!

Standing there in all his glory, in a Valentino slim fit navy blue suit, the jacket appearing to have some sort of paisley print, opting against a tie. Leaving his crisp white dress shirt slightly unbuttoned, teasing at his broad carnalized chest as he makes his way from the bar. Heading over to the table, which has an empty seat waiting right beside him with your name written all over it...literally!

Purposely dodging the old lady to your left in a coat that would have PETA ready to throw hands! Gaudy diamonds, terrible Botox, and smelled as if she showered in an entire bottle Chanel No. 5! 

Yeah, no, sorry, not in the mood for another meet and greet right now!

“Joonie” Squeals from your lips once you’re in close enough proximity, his dark piercing eyes cut over to meet yours. A playful smirk tugging on those sinfully thick lips of his, accompanied by those disrespectful ass dimples!

“There she is!” Eyes dripping with warmth, as he ushered you in with open arms ,and in these types of situations, Namjoon felt like home, he was your safe space. “You look fuckin good” The words hushed into your hair in a tenor meant for your ears and your ears only! A hint of something a little more than just friendly playing on his tongue. 

A small little “Thank you” leaves your lips, and if I didn't know any better I’d think the compliment made you a little flustered.

Namjoon was the definition of Ocean arm’s and goddamn if you didn't just love how big this man was! It literally felt like he was hiding you from the entire universe when he has you nuzzled into his frame! The whole interaction couldn't have lasted longer than 20 seconds in all actuality but god you needed it! 

Face flush to his chest, wrapping your arms firm around his waist, letting your eyes flutter shut briefly, a deep slow exhale flooded through your body. Inhaling the musky yet sweet scent of his cologne mixed with his natural aroma, which has grown to become a calming mechanism over the years. 

“You had me worried for a minute…” Placing a quick kiss in your hair, that you would have missed if you blinked but again, your in public soo...

Palms soothing up and down your back gently, as he breathed into your hair , pulling back a little so there was some form of personal space between the two of you.  

“Your late, even for you princess...I know you started early, I got your live(Instagram) notification, so what happened?” Head clocked to the side as he appraises you and fuck, the bass in his voice still has you all types of fucked up! Glancing over your shoulder briefly before leaning up to place a kiss on the hinge of his jaw, that tittered the line of passing as an “innocent” greeting. 

“I’m fine Jonnie it’s nothing, we just got held up in glam.., Ariel was flying in from Miami...we got a late start” Gaze intentionally diverted as you welcomed yourself to his glass of Scotch instead. Damn near inhaling the entire drink as we speak and you hated dark liquor so that alone let him know something was up!  

Merely resisting the urge to smooth out the crease he felt forming between his brows, a dry snort left his lips, rolling his eyes in response to your blatant stubbornness. Nevertheless, always the gentleman, reaching down to pull out your chair so you could take a seat next to him. Mirroring your actions just moments prior, quickly scoping out his surroundings before he brought those plush pillows he calls lips a centimeter away from your ear.

Fuck. 

  “Right, so I'm just going to assume you don’t wanna talk about it right now! Or wait I’m sorry, have you just upgraded to insulting my intelligence straight to my damn face?” 

Brow quirked inquisitively, and you could literally feel every word, tone taking on a hint of seriousness the more he talked. Namjoon licked his lips and the tip skimmed the edge of your ear and I - . 

“For one you smell like an entire bottle of Heidsieck, I can almost taste the nicotine on your tongue and you've been crying I know you. ”  

Pulling back just enough to glare down at you above the brim of his glasses, which he always wore low along his bridge. Eyes daring you to look him in the face a lie again, teasing his fingers through his chocolate locks. Styled in the perfect semi grown out undercut, the top a little on the long side, while the sides tapered into a crisp fade. Sideburns outlining that extremely understated jawline of his! Though you had to admit the yellow gold diamonds dawning his ears were kinda stealing the show right now! 

“So again, do you just not wanna talk about it right now? Or have you forgotten that I have an IQ of 137, and can smell bullshit from here all the way to Gangnam!?” 

You're having very vivid day daydreams of your hand wrapped around this man's windpipe and for once it’s not even remotely sexual! 

Blatantly ignoring the strong twitch within Namjoon’s jaw and simply saying “I’m here, aren’t I!?” Face stoic, tone flat as all hell, in case it wasn’t clear that this conversation was more than over, you opted to eye his bourbon glazed salmon until he got the hint.

 “Oh, for fucks sake! ” Hissed from his lips without a lick of heat behind them, because as quiet as it’s kept ,your lowkey Joon’s baby, which is why he cares to begin with! Picking up a piece on his fork before essentially shoving it into your hand ”Your lucky I can’t have your ass getting sick on me tonight, we still have like, 3 hours left of this bullshit.”

More like he just can’t tell you no, but hey, whatever helps him sleep at night! Sliding his plate in your direction, completely giving up on eating at this point, he knew you needed it more anyway! Finally, starting to feel your mix of poisons hit your system so you knew you needed  to even it out with a little substance. I mean yeah, you could have just ordered your own plate but meh, this was easier! 

Namjoon started busying himself on his phone while you ate, scrolling through a couple contacts until he landed on a contact labeled under “Kookie”.

“Even though you were only late because “Your glam team ran late” There were air bunnies involved, and again you just really wanna choke his ass!  “What are you thinking tonight? He’s actually on his way here right now, but he already has a couple options on him...” 

The question was vague and for damn good reason...considering…

However you knew exactly what he was referring too.., and thank god!

Speaking over a mouth full of salmon, sounding utterly exasperated!  “Honestly, any fucking thing at this point…” 

Namjoon hums thoughtfully, sucking on a Bourbon soaked Ice cube “He’ll be here in 20, I just went with Smartees…always a safe bet...” 

Smartees, candy, Vitamin -E, Molly... Estcasy...it’s all one and the same, just depends on who you ask!

He leans back in, apparently keen on whispering tonight. “Maybe, if your a good girl and eat enough we can split one before we leave...chill you out a little bit. '' Voice thick and heady, lips curling into a grin with a hint of something wicked playing on the ends, as his fingers idly ghost over your forearm. Giving it a light squeeze and regardless of how innocent the skin-ship may seem to the naked eye, you’re well aware of all the underlying innuendos behind it! 

You make a noise of agreement, trying your damnedest to ignore the slight chill coursing up your spine at the pet name. Though before you could even dwell, Namjoon was sliding back in with another update, this one however wasn't as...arousing…to say the least!

“Fox 2’s been waiting for you to get here by the way...since the event was put together by council and all. They've been wanting to talk to us together about the fundraiser, just the same shit as last year.” 

Waving his hand dismissively idly twirling the various pieces of Bvlgari around his fingers, seemingly un-phased while you on the other hand...release the most exasperated huff! Reclining against your seat, eyes rolling to the back of your head in 30 different directions! Yeah, It comes with the territory, you know this, hints Namjoons reaction, or lack thereof!  But fuck you just really weren’t in the mood to do press tonight, It’s literally physically exhausting to pretend that you weren’t just PISSED! 

“Of -fuckin- course they do!” Stabbing your mashed potatoes in a way that's... somewhat concerning… 

“Baby.” It was a warning, though his voice sat barley above a whisper, his tone was crystal! Eyes cutting in your direction briefly before dropping back down to his phone….

You didn't have it in you to argue, there’s no way around this anyway, fuck it!  “What -the-fuck-ever!” Sliding the half empty plate aside “Well, you wanna just get it out of the way now? Because I’m really not in the mood for-”

“Y/n..oh my god! Hi, honey how are you!? You look beautiful as always…” Suddenly there was a human, a human wearing the wrong shade of foundation kissing your cheek. A human by the name of Caroline, one of the local news anchors...clearly her damn ears were ringing.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys, that’s all she wrote, well kinda, actually she finished it like 16 months ago lol but that’s all she wrote for now I guess....

**_

_****Love you...see ya soon!!**

***SIDE NOTE, MY FRIEND MADE THE TWITTER EDIT SO DON’T ASK LOL IDK ****

UPDATE: HEADCANONS FOR THE KIM BOYS/OC

  HEADCANONS

#Namjoon #namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #namjoon au #kim namjoon #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon x reader #bts #bts smut #bts au #bts x reader #kim namjoon x you #kpop #kpop smut #kpop au

[random-mha-thoughts]

Dork (Kaminari x Reader)

Pairing: Kaminari x Reader

Anon requested: “Not sure if u are taking requests but if u are could you do a Denki x reader imagine where he likes them so he keeps breaking (y/n) phone chargers without her knowing so she has keep asking him to charger her phone, but one day she catches him... or something like that. Sorry if this is unclear This is my first ever request. THANKS!!!”

Genre: Fluff

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

Word count: 1,241

a/n: First Denki fic! Admittedly, I didn’t give him much character in this, but I hope this is okay!  Thanks for the request and I hope to see you again in my ask box soon!

"Damn it!"  I purse my lips as I constantly plug my charging cord into my phone.  As it did the last time, the device keeps barely keeps the charging icon for long before it disconnects and reconnects, vibrating like it's having a seizure.

"What's wrong?"  Denki comes up behind me suddenly.

"My charging cord's broken again!" I lament.  "This is my third one this week alone!"

"Oh, that sucks."  He rifles through the large pocket of his shorts.  "You can borrow mine again if you want, I'll charge it for you."

Reluctantly, I take the end of it.  "I feel bad, I've been asking you to do this all week."

He tugs the USB end to lead the two of you to the couch in the common room.  "It's cool, I don't mind.  I'm basically a walking talking battery pack anyway."  He flashes his finger guns at me cheesily.

"You're such a dork."  

We sit down in front of the TV while my phone charges.  Since the cord is short, our bodies end up closer together, my legs sprawled out on top of his lap as I scroll through my phone.

"I can't believe I have to buy another cord.  Why do they keep breaking?!"

"Maybe you keep buying the really cheap convenience store ones?" Denki offers, still keeping the cord end between his teeth.

"Yeah, but there's no visible damage to it, I don't know where exactly the break in the cord is.  If I knew, I'd try to remedy it."  A braided cord comes across my screen.  "Maybe I can get one of these?"

Denki shrugs at the screen.  "Maybe it'll work, I'm not too crazy about braided cables, it seems unnecessary to me."

"It's only a few dollars more, maybe it'll protect the wires inside better?"

The boy snorts at my suggestion.  "I don't think a little bit of braiding on the outside will protect what's inside, even I'm not dumb enough to believe that."

"Maybe you're just too dumb to accept the benefits."

"Hurtful!"

.

The next day, I buy the braided cord, thinking it would be good enough to last me a while longer than the cord I already had.  However, the next day, the braiding had already started unwinding from the phone end.  At first, it didn't affect the charging, but the braiding steadily wore off the wire more and more each day, poking me uncomfortably until I eventually decided to throw it out.

"Well, that didn't work either," I pout, my head resting on Denki's lap as he charges my phone again.

"Told you so, but you called me dumb!" he points out smugly.

"And you still are, but you're a helpful idiot at least," I shoot right back at him playfully.

The boy fakes a sniff.  "I see how it is.  You only like me for my talented mouth."

"Ew, don't say that again, that's just weird."

"Yeah, sounded better in my head, sorry."

We grew more comfortable with each other because of these small moments.  Little talks here and there about our interests and other things, mostly because sitting so close to each other allows us to see each other's screens easily.  I'm closest to him out of all the other boys in class, in more than one way of course.  One secret I found out about him is that he's a closeted Selena Gomez fan (I caught him listening to the "Rare" album as he tried to hide it in his notification center, but he didn't realize it was playing too loud from his earbuds).  He's a dork, but he's my dork I guess.

.

I ended up giving up on charging cords.  Since there's 20 of us in the same building, I figured just using someone else's cord with my own charging brick would be fine.  Until a week later, my charging brick also went out of commission.

"What the actual fuck?!"  I'm frustrated at this point.  No matter who's cord I plug into the adapter, it just doesn't charge my phone at all.

"Come on, I gotchu."  Denki already wraps his arm around my shoulders, cord in his free hand.

"I'm just sick of it!  I don't understand why this is happening to me!" I groan, clenching my fists.  "Why am I so unlucky?!"

"The universe must be telling you that I'm your designated battery charger, sweetie."  The flirty line comes from his lips easily as he tries to massage my hands open.

"The universe hates me."

As Denki tries to comfort me, I get to thinking.  There are at least a handful of people who have the same phone and charger as me, so there isn't an issue with the building itself.  And considering how these events only happen to me proves that these aren't coincidence.  Someone's doing it on purpose, and I think I know who it is.

.

To test my theory, I buy a new wall adapter and leave it on the common room table, announcing I'm gonna use the bathroom and fetch someone else's charging wire.  Ducking behind a wall, I spy on the room of only a few people.  No one is hovered around the couches, just a few boys sit at the table.  Sure enough, Denki gets up from his seat and heads for the kitchen.  On the way over, he casually swipes the adapter off the table and buries it in his pocket.

I knew it! I quietly follow him into the kitchen, only to catch him overloading the poor plastic with his electricity.  "I was wondering what could've possibly broken my wall adapters," I state, making my presence known.

The blond jumps ten feet in the air and turns to me.  "Aw shi-"

"You mean to tell me," I start walking towards him, "All this time, you've been breaking my cords, watching me waste my money every week, and for what?"

Denki's body backs up into the counter as I gain on him, nervous laughter the only thing he emits.  "I-It was just a joke!  Harmless fun!"

I grab his shirt collar and glare at him so his eyes screw shut and he whimpers.  "You better pay me back all that money I spent, clear?"

"Crystal," he squeaks.

I smirk, done messing with him.  Pulling him closer to me, I join our lips together in a short yet powerful kiss.  I can't tell if the sparks between us come from him or the built-up chemistry between us finally releasing.  The bewildered blush on his face is priceless.  "If you wanted to spend time with me, you should've just come out and say it, stupid."

The boy gapes like a fish out of water.  "How-Why-What-"

"You're so easy to read," I roll my eyes playfully before letting go.  "If you were a dog, your tail would wag constantly around me.  But it's cute."  Holding his nape, I press another kiss to the corner of his lip before letting go and strolling out of the kitchen and stopping at the doorway.  "I want my money and a replacement adapter before you take me out on a proper date, dork."

Looking back, he's practically drooling with cartoon-ish heart eyes despite the red still coating his cheeks.  Little sparks start flashing around his body.  "Sure thing," he agrees dumbly, giving me two thumbs up like he's short circuiting again.

With a final wink, the electricity envelopes his entire body as he yelps in glee.  Oh this dork.

#kaminari x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #kaminari denki #kaminari fluff #request #gender neutral reader #kaminari imagine #kaminari scenario #mha kaminari #bnha kaminari #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

[whtaft]

off the record

a birthday fic for @fadefilter

— —

Captain America catches Bucky as he fumbles down the steps like he’s the goddamn prince from Enchanted.

“Whoops-a-daisy,” Captain America says with this big sincere smile as he helps Bucky back up to his feet.

“Thanks,” Bucky says, not entirely sure what happened in the past thirty-five seconds, but very grateful to Captain America for catching him before his glasses slipped off of his nose and broke on the concrete steps outside of Avengers Tower, where Bucky just finished covering the latest Avengers press conference for the Times. He’s been on the Avengers beat for almost a year now. It never gets old.

“Not a problem,” Captain America says. “Sorry I wrinkled your shirt.”

Bucky looks down at his shirt; it is no more wrinkled than it was when he pulled it off of his bedroom floor this morning, but it’s nice of Captain America to give him enough credit to have had a neatly-pressed shirt beforehand.

“See you around Bucky,” Captain America adds with a wave as he bounds down the steps.

Bucky waves after him, kind of watching his back retreat into the distance, and it’s not until after he’s out of view that Bucky’s journalistic instincts pop back up and he asks himself:

How does Captain America know my name?

— —

He gets off work around seven, then gets a wrap with extra garlic tahini sauce, which gets on his fingers and his wrinkled shirt, but it’s worth it because yum, and starts to snoop.

He goes by James Barnes professionally, so it’s not just because Captain America looks into who’s covering Avengers events. He does have super soldier hearing — or, at least Wikipedia says he does — so maybe he overheard someone saying Bucky’s name?

But Bucky can’t remember the last time someone at one of these press conferences actually called him Bucky.

Which means he must know from somewhere else.

— —

He spends four hours looking into every conceivable way they could be connected, but:

Captain America does not follow him on Twitter

He is not living in Captain America’s pre-war apartment, which he wants back

His relatives neither fought alongside or were saved by Captain America during World War II

Captain America does not go to the same gym

There is no evidence that Captain America is also on a first name basis with Sol, the guy who makes Bucky’s wraps and always remembers to give him extra tahini

It’s disappointing. Frustrating. It must be that—

There’s a notification for him on his non-work-related email. The email he uses for his blog, because when he gets home from a hard day of reporting the news, he immediately gets online and writes think pieces about the news from a queer perspective.

He remembers that oh yes, he should check his blog, and goes to the page to see stats and comments and whatnot, and his eyes fall on a comment from a few days ago:

Thank you for your perspective on this. Your work is always a pleasure to read.

It’s a little awkward and a little stilted and it’s also signed from…

SGR.

He searches his comments for others by SGR and there are… a lot from the past two years.

Most are just thanking him. A few ask for his perspective on something or a clarification. He even commented on a selfie Bucky sort of vainly put up, telling him that it was very cute.

One comment, from very early on, just says:

I wish I could go to Pride.

And Bucky’s heart breaks, just a little bit.

— —

Since he’s on the Avengers beat, it’s not long before he has another opportunity to see Captain America, Steven Grant Rogers again.

He asks his question, then sits back down, and really looks at the guy. He seems a little awkward and a little formal in this setting, his blond hair pushed back and off of his face. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think of him being interested in LGBT issues, right?

Maybe it is.

But Bucky signs his blog posts under the name Bucky.

— —

He didn’t expect his request for an interview to be accepted, but a week later, he’s sitting in Captain America’s room in Avengers Tower. Bucky had suggested they go to a nearby coffee shop or a restaurant, but Captain America was pretty adamant that they do it in the Tower, which, sure.

But it’s a little weird to sit close to Captain America, whose leg is jiggling with nervous energy, this phone between them.

“Before we start,” Bucky says, “can I ask you a question off-the-record?”

Captain America blinks.

“Sure thing,” he says.

“I don’t want to come off as a narcissist, but do you read my blog?”

There’s a beat, then another.

“Yeah,” Captain America says. “Yeah, I do.”

Bucky nods.

“Alright then, Captain—“ he starts, but is interrupted.

“Steve,” he says. “Please call me Steve.”

Bucky looks up. They lock eyes. And they start the interview.

Neither of them talk about it.

— —

After it’s published, Steve calls Bucky.

“Hullo?” Bucky says, almost having swallowed his muffin.

“Hi, Bucky, I…” He hesitates. “I really liked the interview.”

“Thanks, so did my editor,” Bucky says with a chuckle, then a cough, as a muffin crumb gets stuck in the middle of his throat.

After Steve asks him if he’s okay, he says, hesitant, “How’d you know I’m a fan?” His voice comes off light, but there’s nerves behind it, Bucky can tell.

“You called me Bucky when I fell over that one time.”

“That’s not your name?”

“My by-line is always James.”

“Oh,” Steve says, then laughs. “Caught me, I guess.”

“Took me a while to figure it out,” Bucky says, looking at his muffin longingly and contemplating if it would be rude to take a bite. “Started to come up with all sorts of conspiracy theories.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“I was living in your dead family’s apartment and you wanted it back, so you were playing an elaborate rouse where you tripped me, leading to a seduction, a quick marriage, and a transfer of property.”

“And how do you know that’s not true?” Steve asks.

“I asked my landlord. My building wasn’t built until 1963.”

Steve laughs again and it’s honestly a really nice sound. You don’t hear it often during press conferences.

“The tenement I lived in was pushed down ages ago, and even if it wasn’t, I’m fine without having a bathtub in the kitchen.” He hesitates. “But there’s one part of that I think may be true.”

“What’s that?”

“The seduction part.”

In retrospect, Bucky is glad he didn’t take a bite of his muffin. He would be spitting it out.

“What?” Bucky croaks.

“Or, at least, a date. If you’d be interested.”

“With me?” Bucky asks, agog.

“I read your blog, I know you’re single. And since we know each other now, I thought it wouldn’t be too much of an issue if I asked you out. No pressure, but…” he trails off.

About a thousand different thoughts fly across Bucky’s mind all at once, but only one word comes out of his mouth:

“Yes.”

— —

Bucky gets moved off of the Avengers beat because it’s kind of a conflict of interest if a reporter is dating the First Avenger. He gets moved to local politics, which is fine, and it’s all worth it when he’s writing his and Steve’s own wedding announcement for the paper.

#Captain America #SteveBucky #Stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #fadefilter #Fic Nonsense

[youneedtostudyives]

tagged by @portugue (thank you!)

1. why did you choose your url?

To remind myself to study if I ever scroll through Tumblr for too long.

2. side blogs?

Actually, this one is a side blog! My main/"writing" blog that never has any writing is @itisiives

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

I've been in and off for years (starting in 2013?) but I've recently came back because many of the other SM I tried were essentially Tumblr 2016.

4. do you have a queue tag?

No. I might develop one, though, if I start queuing posts more often.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

It started as a method to hold myself accountable and find motivation, but I've mostly come to relax lately.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because look at it! It's beautiful!

7. why did you choose your header?

For the bookish vibes. And it's my dream enclave.

8. whats your post with most notes?

On this blog, it's the aesthetic photo of a stack of books and a coffee in a plaza.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

No clue. Maybe five?

10. how many followers do you have?

34, and there's no telling how many are sexy time bots.

11. how many people do you follow?

111

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah, I have, lol. It was on my main and the notes blew up with a lot of arguing, so I had to delete it to save my notifs.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I tend to maybe use it 2-5 times a day if there's nothing else to chill out to.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yeah, lol. I'm ashamed to admit that I contributed to the annoying argument in my aforementioned shit post. I need to stop getting into petty internet fights.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Annoying and useless as hell. Sorry that this specific issue isn't farming enough notes for you, but humanity undergoes at least ten tragedies a day and we can't pay attention to everything.

16. do you like tag games?

Yeah, they make great icebreakers for the terminally anxious like me.

17. do you like ask games?

Yeah! I just don't reblog many ask memes because I'm always low on energy for stuff.

18. which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I don't think any of them are, otherwise we wouldn't be mutuals, because from what I've heard, it hard to become friends with a website celeb.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nah.

No pressure to do this, but if you guys want to: @literalmomfriend @kirstenscaffeinateddisaster

[rpbetter]

Thanks for your thoughts. Nope, I don't have another problem with the psa. It's the subtle word choice pretty much, but nothing else. I don't mind if people use me as a meme farm, so when I see psas like that or comments like that, I get upset because I associate it with people who make other blanket assumptions about all rpers, I have it linked in my head with people going around saying "rp is a hobby not a jobby" and making other assumptions about how all rpers do their thing.

Thank you for answering those questions!

The assumptive quality of the RPC can seriously be annoying as hell, especially if you're in the minority on any particular issue. When that's the case, the PSAs are so rarely geared toward you and any issues you might be experiencing that it's legitimately upsetting. I absolutely feel you on that!

I mean, obviously. Obviously lol I do. It couldn't be much clearer that I have a serious issue with the constant bombardment of PSAs insisting that we normalize shitty behaviors that are the damn norm, that we're all just losers RPing on tumblr so no one should be anxious about anything ever (instead of, you know, maybe trying to legitimately boost people's confidence, radical thought), or that anything that isn't being hostile to oneself is being hostile to everyone else.

I think the issue is that, while there is obviously a majority set of takes/issues/experiences (though, those, too, absolutely can skew toward one's particular RP corner and style), there's no way to address every instance and variable of an issue. Particularly not when anything other one paragraph is too lengthy for a lot of people here to engage with in a meaningful way.

So, I know I have to frequently ask, "is this a legitimate or hostile sort of blank-statement, or is it just addressing the majority experience? If it's the latter, is it genuinely enough of a problem to address?"

Like, did they mean that this is an experience most RPers have, or did they mean this is the only experience/is the correct and only way to do things? And that's not always answerable, of course, but when I feel like it is, it's usually found on OP's blog and RPC itself.

If OP has expressed things that are not the majority experience, expressed that they do not agree with blanket-statements, and doesn't imply with every rule, PSA, point on the DNI, and so on that to approach and proceed with RP in a way they do not is to commit some manner of terrible IRL crime? It's almost certainly that they were just expressing a majority experience and nothing more.

And in this case, yeah, as I'm sure you've noticed from being on the opposite side of this, it is the majority experience. I don't recall ever seeing very many RPers who do not espouse having an issue with having their memes and aesthetics reblogged without some manner of (rules specified if they're not a dick) interaction/relationship with the other mun. (Such as "mutuals are okay to reblog" or "I expect reblog karma and practice it.")

I don't know if there has been an influx of newer RPers or those who have migrated from more relaxed areas of the RPC, but recently, there really has been an increase in at least my corners of muns being used as resource blogs when they do not wish to be. They've all expressed in their rules their particular boundaries for that, have made overall posts politely but firmly asking that people who do not write with them and haven't even read their rules not do this, and have gone directly to the worst offenders to ask them to stop. And it continues to happen. So, I imagine that is why you might be seeing an influx of PSAs about the matter in response.

For anyone watching this conversation that might not understand why some muns are so against this, some reasons are:

clogging up their notifications

the aesthetic was their picture, edit, quote, etc. and not meant to be shared off their blog/only by the partner(s) tagged in it

when you reblog from someone, their URL is obviously attached, spreading them to another dash full of people - they might like you, but not want some of your mutuals following to their blog

their muse doesn't get much interaction, but other muns keep reblogging memes/aesthetics from them when they won't write with them or send anything in

they feel used for the above reason or any variety of other reasons

I'm really sure you know that, Anon, but I think it's important that we all understand where we're coming from because there are so many different preferences and experiences. It's really not good enough to just feel like everyone can do whatever they want, so long as it isn't harassing anyone else/they're being respectful of others. Because can feel that way all we want to while still getting upset when we lack the understanding of preferences that are extremely different, or even in opposition to our own.

We can't effectively respect each other without that sort of understanding of even the things that annoy us, you know? So, I try to promote that understanding and explain things for people who might simply see this on their dash.

Like the "hobby not jobby" thing! I don't get that, I think it has some concerning IRL connotations people are not recognizing, and it's a great way to treat other muns like shit while justifying the behavior. It's in opposition to what I do not because it exists, but rather, because it is weaponized in order to excuse bad behavior and vilify muns who do not engage with the hobby in this way. It doesn't have to exist in hostile opposition to how I enjoy RP, the use of it has made it this way, is what I'm saying.

But I understand where it came from and what it means for the more rational, adult muns here who feel this way. To them, it's just that this is an ultra casual hobby. The way I engage with RP is like a full contact sport lol it requires a lot of effort and engagement, and the effort and engagement is fun. They way they engage with RP is an act of disengaging, it is more like what watching TV is for me - they're just here for some light, quick entertainment.

Understanding this difference is understanding that not everyone who feels so casually about RP is a jackass insisting that everyone else better feel the same way, that their way is the only correct and good way. I'm still not interested in writing with them, it's far too different for that to work out, but it allows for delineating who is enjoyable on my dash/OOC that is into casual RP and who needs to stay behind a block somewhere because they think anyone who has RP as a primary hobby is trying to ruin it for them somehow, attacking them by existing, and the following list of terrible things as a person.

I think that all problems in the RPC could be drastically mitigated by a combination of understanding and mutual respect. People who are alright with others treating them like a meme resource absolutely can and should interact with people who don't feel that way without a problem, for example - all that takes is being aware of your mutual's rules and respecting them.

Damn near 100% of the PSAs out there honestly should not ever have to exist, they come down to the same factors of just exercising some easy respect for each other.

Again, the trouble often comes in at those very differing factors we need to be mindful of. When we feel like the weird one out in the RPC constantly, whether something is actually othering us or not, it starts to feel like it is. We start finding reasons and evidence, and much of the time, at least among those whose first inclination isn't to label OP as various terrible shit as a person, that takes the form of "not everyone."

Well, of course, not everyone! But unfortunately, when we are of the minority opinion/experience, we sometimes have to just realize that very thing. It isn't personal, and that while someone has caused issues coming from this side with that difference, we are not for our mutuals, so this isn't about us. We're actually doing the thing the PSA is speaking of by not pushing our preferences on others. If that PSA is just speaking from a place of the majority experience and nothing more, we're just annoyed with it for that reason and nothing else when it comes right down to it. We're just kind of sick of being in the minority opinion on this issue, and now are geared to feel like we're being hounded by most PSAs.

It's not an easy thing to get over or work with, it's not even something that gets to be faultless, but it definitely makes the experience less irritating when we can get to a point of stepping back and analyzing the situation without those emotions intensely in play. Seriously, if I allowed the issues I have with most PSAs out there to be evident by reblogging them with refutations or anger? That's all I'd spend my time doing, that'd be my hobby and not actual RP...and I'd absolutely be the most hated and blocked mun on tumblr in short order no matter how valid my points were. (And, I think, with good reason, I really do not support reblogging that sort of thing with negative commentary.)

What helps? Make your own positive PSA about your experience! Make one of those "reblog if" posts, I have never seen one that says "reblog if...you are alright with your mutuals reblogging memes and aesthetics from you without reblog karma."

I'm being dead serious, I encourage you to do that! It's great when you're of the minority opinion and do something like that because you can literally see not only that you're not alone at all but also that it's made other people feel seen. If you do that, let me know, I'll reblog it, even.

#answered #anonymous #post and ask replies #mun interaction #reblog etiquette #rp problems #tumblr rpc

[dumbchickwrites]

office affairs -- part 1

Pairing: CEO!Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: Sam is the CEO of the Red Wing PR agency where Reader has been working for the past two years. Problem is, they both think one hates the other. However, when their friends set them up on a blind date, they’ll realise that it was all a big misunderstanding.

Words: 1.9K

Warnings: language.

A/N: This new series is part of @marvelmaree​‘s birthday challenge (happy birthday Maree!) The series will be updated part by part and the masterlist will be available on my blog as well as Maree’s. I hope you enjoy! <3

“What do you think about him, Nat?”

Maria shoves her phone in Natasha’s face, stopping the redhead from biting into her taco. Nat doesn’t seem to mind though. She’s used to Maria’s antics.

“Hmm, no. She’d leave halfway through the date,” Natasha said, scrunching her nose at the screen.

“Hum, hello? I’m right here?” you wave your hands in front of their faces and scoff when they look at you like you just interrupted a discussion at the Pentagon. “Can you guys do this another time?”

When Maria and Natasha offered to set you up on a blind date a few days ago, you thought they were joking. Which is understandable, you know, they had a few drinks in them already and it was late. So you just laughed the absurd conversation off like a normal person.

The only issue is, they were dead serious and to this day, they’re still looking for a date. You would try to stop them, but you gave up two days ago after they got your sister Noelle involved. That traitor agreed to team up with them to find you a date because – and quote “your coochie is probably covered in spiderwebs already”. After that you decided to let them have their fun. Not because your coochie is… your coochie is fine, okay? Thank you very much.

Natasha finally takes a bite of her taco, the crunch of the tortilla making you wince slightly, and turns her attention back to the phone. You scoff at the blatant disrespect. Unfortunately, the action doesn’t pair well with the grain of rice that was apparently stuck in your throat and you start coughing like a madwoman.

This is the moment your boss chooses to sneak a peek in Maria’s office.

“Hey ladies—woah, is everything okay?” Mr. Wilson asks, slightly alarmed.

You nod as best as you can, your eyes filled with tears, and turn your back to him in hopes to preserve your last ounce of dignity as you choke on your miserable grain of rice. Maria hands you a bottle of water as Natasha reassures Mr. Wilson.

“We’re okay, Sam. She’s just enjoying her sushi a bit too much.”

“Oh. See you later, then.”

You don’t see him wave, and you don’t see the look your friends share either.

“Oh my God!” You exhale once the cough is gone. “I just saw my life flash before my eyes.”

“Oh please, would you stop being such a drama queen?”

Nat hands you a napkin and you use it to dry your tears. You’ll touch up your makeup after lunch.

You brush off the comment and take another sip of water before you speak. “I feel like the esteem he has for me is totally gone by now. Or do you think there’s still a bit left? I mean I outdid myself with the Drax event last month.”

“Sam doesn’t hate you. He’s just…”

You raise your eyebrows at Maria, waiting for her to finish her sentence but nothing comes. You throw your arms in the air in defeat.

For a reason unknown to you, Sam Wilson, CEO of the PR agency Red Wing, does not like you very much. At least that’s what you’re assuming. You’ve never done anything but a good job for the two years you’ve been working at the company and yet, every time you make eye contact with the man he averts his gaze like you’re Medusa or something. The worst thing is, he’s friendly with almost everyone else. Natasha is one of his closest friends, and in a relationship with his best friend – she practically helped him build the company. So yes, you kind of feel like the black sheep of the office.

“You know what,” you say, pouring more soy sauce in the little receptacle that came with the food. “Maybe something’s keeping him away from me, the universe—or God, and maybe that’s for the best.” You finish with a shrug.

“Believe it or not, Sam’s actually a decent person.”

“Okay.”

Natasha and Maria share another look before the three of you move onto another topic as you finish your lunch.

The rest of the afternoon at work is uneventful. All of your projects are up to date already because you like to be ahead of things, so you decide to just call it a day and head home early.

Before you do, you drop by Maria’s office to say bye. She simply nods and waves without taking the phone away from her ear. And of course Natasha’s office is the last stop.

Her blinds are always drawn over the glass walls, so you never know what happens in there. The last time you barged in her office she was making out with her boyfriend James, and God help you, you never want to know what would have happened if you’d gone in there a minute later. So naturally you knock, then go in when she answers.

And you freeze in the doorway.

Mr. Wilson is in here. That’s not uncommon. She’s his right hand lady. They’re almost always together. You know that. So why are you standing here awkwardly? Mr. Wilson smiles at you. It’s a polite smile – a professional smile – the kind that doesn’t really reach his eyes and for a moment you wonder what he looks like when he smiles from the heart.

That is before he looks away and shakes his head, like he can’t even stand the sight of you. You hold the sigh and the eye roll.

“I just wanted to say bye,” you say to Natasha. “I’m heading home early.”

“All right, sugar. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You give her a smile then head out, finally releasing that sigh.

Home is where the heart is. And what better way to describe your eight year old niece than that?

Michelle is the light of your life. She’s the smartest, funniest little girl you’ve ever met and a gift that keeps on giving. She arrived when you were still in college, and you moved in with your sister, at her request, when Michelle was born. The three of you have been inseparable ever since.

Usually at this time of the day, Michelle would still be at school, but she’s recovering from a cold and her mom doesn’t want her near other kids during this time.

The sound of “Almost There” from The Princess and the Frog greets you as you step into the foyer of your home. You hum along quietly as you kick your heels off, get rid of your coat and leave your purse on the messy console.

“Sounds like you’re feeling better Mimi,” you tease the little girl with a smile once you get to the living room.

She immediately stops singing along and runs toward you to give you a hug.

“I am! But mommy said I can’t go to school for another couple of days,” she pouts.

“She’s right, that was a nasty cold you had there.”

Mimi throws her head back in a dramatic groan which makes you chuckle. She loves going to school and learning, which is something you’re very grateful for. Homework time always goes smoothly and she’s actually excited to go to school in the morning.

Your niece goes back to the couch and buries herself under the mountain of blankets and pillows before she turns her attention back to the movie.

“Hey Noelle,” you greet your sister when you get to the kitchen.

You’re not actually hungry but you could use a cookie or two. Maybe three.

“Hey,” Noelle lifts her eyes from her laptop. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah, I was done with today’s work. I can see you can’t say the same for yourself.”

Noelle rolls her eyes. “Elena just dumped two new manuscripts on my ass. Thank God I love my job and the pay because girl, I’m exhausted.” She takes her glasses off and rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands.

“Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

You pour water in the kettle and set it on the stove. You take out two mugs, a Tinkerbell one for Noelle and a Dumbo one for you, your favourite jasmine tea bags and honey.

“How was work?” Noelle asks as she shut her laptop and puts in on top of the pile of manuscripts next to her.

“The usual. Nat and Maria are still bothering me with this blind date business and I blame you for it.”

“Me?” Noelle feigns innocence with a hand on her chest.

It’s your turn to roll your eyes.

Seeing that you’re not buying her cheap act, Noelle straightens in her seat and starts fiddling with the Post-Its sticking out of the manuscripts. “Actually, I think we found someone.”

You nearly drop the teaspoons you’re holding.

“You what?”

“You heard me.”

You narrow your eyes at her.

You’ve always had a good relationship with your sister. She’s your best friend, she’s been by your side through every rough patch of your life, and you know she’ll always be here for you. But sometimes, she really, really gets on your goddamn nerves. Not just because of situations like these. Noelle is the kind of person who puts everyone’s needs before her own, that is why she often finds herself drowning in a sea of problems that aren’t even hers. More than once you’ve had to be the one to pull her out of the water.

The whistle of the kettle makes you stop with the murder glare and you pour the water into the mugs.

“You have to stop being so wary. Don’t you trust us?”

“Not right now, no.”

Noelle gives you a look.

“Just give it a chance.”

“Oh, like you gave a chance to Amara’s mom?” you say, eyebrows raised and voice dripping with sass.

“It’s not—She—I’m busy with the—”

“Aht aht! I don’t wanna hear it!” you raise your hand and grab your mug, heading to the living room.

You settle on the couch with Noelle and Mimi – who’s now watching some kids’ cooking show-- and the three of you  enjoy the rest of the afternoon together.

Some time during the evening, while you’re going through your skin care routine, your phone dings with a message notification. It says Natasha added you to the group chat Spider Coochie.

These girls…

Nat: So… we found someone.

Maria: This is amazing. I’m already excited.

Noelle: GIRL.

You: You can’t be serious.

Maria: Oh but we are.

Nat: Friday night, L’Orage, 8:00. “Spider” is what you’ll say to the host.

You: “Spider”? Are you fucking kidding me?

You hear Noelle cackle as you sit on the edge of you bed.

Maria: Hey, it was your sister’s idea.

You roll your eyes.

You: Can I at least get a hint?

Noelle: Hell no.

Nat: Everything’s gonna be fine. You can go to bed now.

You: Ugh. I don’t even have the strength to argue with you.

Maria: Good.

You lock your phone with a loud groan – loud enough to make sure Noelle hears it from wherever she is – and you let your body fall on the mattress.

As much as you try to pretend you’re annoyed by all of this, you can’t help but be excited by the idea. A bit curious as well. But you trust your friends. They would never put you in an embarrassing position and pair you up with some awful sewer rat.

A sigh leaves your lips.

As the saying goes: “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”

#maree's29thbirthdaybash #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson x black reader

[harry-sussex]

You're lovely, and I enjoy seeing your blog on my dashboard. I'm sorry this has been such a difficult thing to process. It's always really difficult to rework an image of someone you once thought you knew. However I'd like to just put it out there - sometimes (I think the large majority of the time) news is presented in the most sensationalist way, such that nowadays I make a point of de-sensationalizing any news I read in my head. In the case of the whole Harry's memoir thing- I can sympathize with Harry as a person possibly just wanting to take back some control of the narrative for himself. Not just in the most recent events with family (that I tend to think are less horrifying than the fandom/Twitter sussex squad discusses it anyway), but in all aspects of his life. I do not at all think he's going to put his family on blast. I can easily imagine Meghan reigning that dialogue in; she has the tendency to think before she speaks that he seems to lack. And he loves his family. Similar to The Interview promos, I imagine the publishing house knew to increase the interest by implying it to be a tell all memoir. I think he's just done a lot of growing up that he didn't know he had to do over a short period of time, esp re: implicit bias/racism in the setting of media's blatant attack on someone he loves, and is disappointed by the institution's and his family's response to it. I think he's emerged a more introspective and aware human, albeit a disillusioned one. Yes it breaks my heart to think that Meghan won't get a break from the tabloids any time soon. If I were him I'd counsel him to write it & sit on it for a few yrs. But I don't want to give the media the power to destroy Meghan in my mind, and I pray she & Harry won't either. I think she'll be okay. She's a strong one, and I think he's able to draw that same link for himself and be thoughtful about what he does. No one likes being misunderstood/misinterpreted, and I wouldn't be surprised if Harry's especially triggered by that given his history with the press. Maybe this idea emerged from therapy, idk. I can empathize with that, even if I wouldn't do it myself. I hope and pray Meghan gets the support she needs from him and her loved ones in the meantime. I'm honestly not going to read it. I think the less attention I give the BRF the better off they are, unless they're doing something immoral/illegal (see: Woking pizza alibi). And I think at the end of the day, people will unfairly judge other people, especially public figures that have tragic pasts and are publically fighting with the media. A lot of it is going to be noise and I'm not going to give my energy into figuring it out. I like to think I've got a good sense of who they are as people - flawed but ultimately well meaning and earnest. I'm a huge admirer of Meghan and think Harry got really lucky with this one and I'm proud of him for choosing her in more ways than one. I believe Harry and Meghan are lovely people, and I 100% believe their interview. I believe that there are people in the palace with a lot of unchecked power who deliberately uncovered her and Archie from BRF protection for reasons of believed superiority over Meg & Arch. And they're figuring out how to deal with that as a couple and a family. And it's none of my business past that imo. I pray for them and hope it'll eventually end in peace for them all. Just wanted to add another perspective, and hopefully some levity. xx M

Hi, dear. First thing’s first, I really appreciate that this is off anon lol. I love it when people own their opinions, and it says a lot that you did. So thank you for that.

Second of all, I really appreciate the nuance and perspective that is in this message. I agree that the news is sensationalist, and my initial reaction was based off of that. I did watch the promotional clips of the interview and I believe it did sour my expectations going into it when I watched it nearly a week after it aired. I did my best to stay away from Tumblr because I didn’t want that to hinder my view, but it was impossible to separate the promotions that presented the information one way from what it actually was, and thank you for bringing that up with respect to the memoir because I hadn’t considered it. I will say that my knee jerk reaction is pretty on par with the way I still feel about it 24 hours later, especially since I got the news directly, not from Tumblr or Twitter or anywhere else, but you’re right that it could have soured my view from the very start.

I appreciate that he wants to take back some of the narrative but I think that ship has sailed, tbh. He did that with the interview and now I just think it feels like information overload. At some point, people are going to get tired of hearing the wealthy, privileged, powerful Prince complain about his life while more than 4 million people have died due to a global pandemic in less than 2 years. Not to say that he doesn’t struggle - in the words of Roxane Gay, there is no oppression Olympics (and that can be extended to struggle Olympics) - but people view it that way and will get tired of it, if they haven’t already.

I also agree that Harry’s past with the press has tarnished the way he has handled the media and the public post-exit, when he’s finally in a position to strike back without being somewhat obliged to them as part of the circumstances of his birth. I understand and sympathize with him but I just don’t think the public does, and the public matters much, much more than the perspective of one single American fan, to whom he’s never been obliged, and I simply do not think the public will afford him that same understanding, sympathy, and leniency. The public and the media are critical to his humanitarian work - his mother never realized that towards the end of her life, and I truly don’t think she would have been the martyr/saint she is perceived to be now if she had lived, because she did not know how to meet the media in the middle and eventually that started to piss people off. He’s starting to piss people off now and if it doesn’t bother him personally (which it definitely does), I don’t want it to affect his causes. The Invictus Games, Sentebale, Walking with the Wounded, WellChild, Mayhew, Smartworks, Archewell, etc. deserve better than to suffer the wrath of the media and an apathetic public because their patrons simply will not shut up lol.

I guess my point is that they will be unfairly judged (regardless, but especially due to the way they’re handling things), and I think it would suit them better in the long run if they adopted a different strategy. I really sympathize with the fact that he feels frustrated with the narrative that has been manufactured but I really, really think the narrative will only get worse and worse as he continues to go on and on about how badly his life sucks, basically. Again, I don’t deny that he struggles - we all do, some more than others, especially when there are mental health issues - but the public, to me, simply does not care. My own therapist has told me to simply stop caring about the things that I discuss with him. Not to say that they’re not relevant, important, or worthy of discussion - they absolutely are - but his point is that you cannot change people and you are wasting your energy and struggling yourself because you want to change them so, so, so badly that you’re neglecting your own self care in the process. I hate that I do it to myself and I also hate that he appears to be doing it to himself. I’m sure a lot of this conversation has been brought up in his own therapy, and I’m no professional, but I’m doing my best to heed the advice of my own therapist - which is the opposite of what Harry is doing - and it’s done wonders for me, when I actually can do it.

If there’s anything I know from this whole thing, it’s that Harry is absolutely punching above his weight, love him as I may, and that he adores, adores, adores his wife. He has chosen her from the very second she came into his life and I couldn’t want anything more for him or from her. I’m not going to lie, I would have been in this thing for any wife that Harry chose, because I was here long before Meghan specifically came into his life. However, I am glad every day that he chose her, that he loves her, that he wants to protect her, that she loves him back, that he lives the life with her that he’s wanted as long as I (and I’m sure he) can remember. I love her because he loves her, and I would have no matter what, because at the end of the day, it’s his happiness and comfort that matters to me, that has mattered to me since I discovered him and how wonderful he can be more than 7 years ago. What more could I ask of Meghan? What more, as his fan to the end (annoy me as he may), could I want for him? Who could say anything about her in that regard? If there’s anything that has come of this mess, to me, it’s that Harry loves, loves, loves his wife. I will always be happy for him and I will always be proud of him for choosing her, even if I don’t always agree with the way he goes about it.

I’m looking forward to peace, too. I cannot wait for things to just die out, for them to work things out as a couple and as a family, and for everyone to move on. The family will still do their thing and the Sussexes can do theirs, but I cannot deal with this back and forth, tit for tat, petty nonsense anymore. They’re wonderful and flawed, like the rest of them (except Andrew), and I just hope that they can all come to some kind of agreement or terms that lets this die down. It’s exhausting for everyone - themselves included. If I’m this tired, I can only imagine how tired they all are.

Thanks for stopping by, and sorry for the essay (essays, these past 24 hours lol). I really appreciate your kindness in this message, your presence in my notifications (I do see them!), your nuanced perspective and like I said before, I really, really appreciate that you own it!

#Ask #possibilitiesofsainthood #Prince harry #duke of sussex #meghan markle #duchess of sussex #phmemoir

[kinkymagnus]

okay im fucking LOSING MY MIND LAUGHING

normally i like block anon hate and i might do a quick generic response but i don’t necessarily show the ask but this is too fucking funny not to. this is genuinely the best anon hate i’ve ever gotten. i’m almost wondering if it’s a joke surely someone isn’t this goddamn stupid???

ok ok ok so.

first of all. i actually was joking, mostly because while magnus’s actor, harry,  is very attractive he’s like late 30s and it would be kind of weird for someone that much older than me to have sex with me. and while magnus is, again, super hot, i also ship him with alec more than i actually want to have real sex with him or something, particularly again given the age thing and my own unrelated issues, so like, if somehow magnus bane became real, i would not want to have sex with him. although that’s irrelevant, as he isn’t real, and fantasies are harmless even if i was fantasizing about that, but whatever.

second. even if i wasn’t. what the fuck. i literally wouldn’t even be doing anything wrong.

anon please tell me what’s disgusting about being attracted to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. it’s not like i’m out here thirsting over a 12 year old anime girl with huge tits or something, so i honestly don’t see the issue. he’s a fictional adult, and also he’s hot. people have fantasies about fictional characters all the time?? this is normal?????

like 1. on a more serious note some people only feel comfortable with sexual fantasies about a fictional character because it’s more coherent than vague “and then im having sex with...someone” but also its unattainable and like, can’t hurt you, and also, you don’t feel weird being attracted to someone (although you never should anyway unless they’re way younger than you or something??) and also again 2. WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM? DO YOU THINK THIS IS LIKE BESTIALITY AND THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CAN’T CONSENT TO [checks notes] YOU FINDING THEM SEXY??? WHAT THE FUCK they’re not REAL, karen 

and even so no one needs consent to find someone attractive lmao what the fuck it’s attraction not action

i genuinely can’t get over this it’s so fucking funny “ERRRM just learned that you think a fictional character is hot. [vine voice] blocked and reported” i????????

or is this about the specific use of the word “topping” which is referring to the fact that i personally prefer being on the receiving end of things, but would be willing to be the “giver” so to speak for him? it’s a joke, i’m not even necessarily classifying him as A Bottom and me as a A Top in that post (although even if i did mlm joking and/or seriously headcanoning this shit is not the same as like Cishet Women clowning about it)  like..... ok??????? 

also “writing porn of characters is one thing but WANTING TO FUCK THEM YOURSELF? TOO FAR. IF YOU WRITE SELF INSERT YOU’RE GOING TO HELL.” i??????????????????????? I????????????????

I ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW THE LOGIC BEHIND THIS I WON’T EVEN BLOCK YOU YET. because despite the whole “blocked and unfollowed” someone only sends anon hate like this when they want attention, and i have no doubt you are going to be checking my blog to see me crying or angry about this. of course, now that i’ve said that you might not respond out of spite or some childish willingness to be like “NUH UH” but like, we both know the truth. and i mean, congrats, you got my attention, look at how fuckin long this response is

anyway despite how hilarious i find this....  like i just... “oh...i......its wrong to joke about wanting to top a fictional character who literally couldn’t care less....it’s WRONG TO BE ATTRACTED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTER....WRONG TO GET OFF ON FICTIONAL CHARACTER (why do you think people read my porn, buddy, for the intellectual stimulation?) WRONG TO WANT FICTIONAL SEX WHEREIN YOU COMPLETELY SET THE BOUNDARIES AND WHAT GOES RIGHT AND WRONG AND IT IS SAFE AND THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CANNOT HURT YOU IT’S THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER WE AREN’T EVEN MAKING WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT THE ACTOR--”

[ahem] despite how funny this is, anon hate isn’t cool, and also, dude. if you really were upset by me.... [im about to start giggling again] being. being attracted. to a fictional character. like................ just......... unfollow. hell, you can block me if you want to, god knows i understand blocking people who make content that doesn’t feel comfortable to you. 

but like, sending a petty anon ask (anon! coward! if you’re gonna send hate show me your face!) being like “WELL I HOPE YOU’RE HURT, BECAUSE I HATE YOU NOW, YOU DIRTY SLUT, HOW DARE YOU DO THIS CONTENT I DON’T LIKE” is wrong! even if i was actually doing something that really was gross! even if i’m following someone and i find out they’re into j*lec incest or something, i don’t go into their inbox and go “DISGUSTING. THAT’S WRONG AND RACIST AND GROSS. BLOCKED AND UNFOLLOWED.” even though it is, and they are, because i have class. i unfollow, block, and move on! 

but like, this is even worse because it’s something so mind blowingly trivial it’d be like if i went into some poor person’s inbox like “YOU MADE A POST SAYING YOU THOUGHT AN ACTOR WAS CUTE. FUCK YOU. THAT’S DISGUSTING. BLOCKED AND UNFOLLOWED.” like??? ok??? bye. good riddance

anyway you’re really hurting yourself more than me. i mean, i’ve got [checks notes] holy shit my follower number has gone up one. 

oh my god this is so fucking funny i’ve got one new follower and as far as i can tell it doesn’t look like anyone’s unfollowed unless there’s another new follower buried in the notifications and/or you unfollowed ages ago. did you even unfollow or are you just trying to shame me for thinking magnus is hot, which he is???

that is so fucking funny oh my god i’m just laughing harder the longer i look into this

anyway i was going to make a joke about 601 going down to 600, a nice round number, and like, i wasn’t going to miss you, i block book stans that follow me all the time and people unfollow me for various anti reasons all the time, i’m used to losing followers, you’re the one who is apparently missing out on my porn--speaking of which, why do you like my porn? you can’t be attracted to the characters, right, because that’s a sin? or is it ok if you’re only watching but not involved. like the “it’s not gay if you’re watching and not touching” kind of rule. 

i just.......

“but then wanting to have sex with a FICTIONAL character???wtf??” LKGJFLGKHJFH I CAN’T GET OVER THIS THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY “i expected better of you” FROM ME? THE PORN BLOG? DID YOU THINK I DIDN’T FIND THEM FUCKABLE IN ANY WAY???????? I?????????????????????? 

also did you send a similarly childish ask to all the other people on that post? not that i’m encouraging you do but tothetrashwhereibelong sadly had their inbox closed and has personally expressed interest in a dumbass rant from you when we were laughing about this, so you can send that to me and i’ll carry the message! they’d be delighted to hear it.

anyway i’m actually not going to block you just yet because i honestly want another response but i’ll give it a few days, maybe longer. i’m so curious and also this is so funny lmaooo 

#what the fuck is this im fucking. #i want you to know i got this when i was barely away and it was kind of early for me cos i went to bed super late #and then instead of going back to sleep like i would literally any other time #i actually got up to immediately send this to my friends and LAUGH MY FUCKING HEAD OFF IM???? #this is just so wild #i love it #thanks anon youve made my day #this is it. the funniest ask ive ever gotten #im not even mad despite moral objections to anon hate and shit im just losing my mind #thirstgate #thirstgate anon #the og!

[mittensmorgul]

The Tumblr Beta Version: an objective analysis

I was tempted to just type “it sucks.” And while that is an objective analysis, it’s not exactly helpful. I’ve sent several requests to @staff and @support to restore my account to the old tumblr dashboard format, and received the same automated reply twice now. I’ll copy/paste it here so everyone is on the same page:

(lol, I had to go back and edit this, because apparently the beta version doesn’t display block quotes on the dash. So I’ve also put the block quotes in italics... hopefully it’ll display properly... note after editing: nope, it doesn’t display italics either... how the heck am I supposed to differentiate quoted text? I’ll start each quoted bit with an asterisk, I guess...)

*Thanks for reaching out about the beta dashboard.

*We're currently testing it out, and your account seems to have been selected to take part in the test. Thanks for your patience while we work on it! At this time there is not a way to opt out of testing. You may see your Tumblr experience return to normal as we continue testing.

WE CAN ONLY HOPE.

*In the meantime, check out some of the new features available only in the beta dashboard:

OKAY TUMBLR, IF YOU INSIST, though I would MUCH rather have back all the functionality I personally invested into this website through xkit... you know... making the site ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL. Let’s see what this beta version has given me instead of functionality:

*Change Palettes: Go to the person icon, then click "Change Palette." You'll find the classic Tumblr blue, dark mode, and a few other color palettes for your dash.

So I tried out all the color palettes. In addition to the ones mentioned here, there’s one that’s trying to look like a green screen terminal that gives me flashbacks to the early 80′s. There’s a reason we stopped using green screen terminals... Another one is “canary yellow.” It’s very yellow. The “classic tumblr” isn’t actually classic tumblr... all the post boxes are dark blue with grey type, not white with black type. And all the other colors are the insanely bright fluorescent of the new Dark Blue standard tumblr scheme. Which means links are practically invisible unless I highlight them. It’s migraine inducing. The one theme with a light colored background is called “Concrete” or “Cement” or something like that and even that only works for about half an hour before the migraine aura really kicks in. I just want my Old Blue via xkit back. You know, what tumblr actually used to look like. I don’t want any of these horrible color palettes. None of them work for me.

*The new "meatballs" menu: This is where you can copy the post link, unfollow the Tumblr who made or reblogged the post, or report a violation to our Community Guidelines.

I could do all of this from the user menus with xkit, too. I don’t regularly report violations or have the urge to block people I have chosen to follow. Why on earth would I want to do any of this? And why would I want these features located directly beside the post link copy feature? 

You know what I do miss? I miss the xkit timestamps feature. I didn’t have to hover dangerously close to the KILL IT WITH FIRE meatballs menu in order to see when a post was made, and in this era of disinformation and misinformation spreading around this site faster than Covid-19, being able to see when a post was ORIGINALLY created is a far more useful feature than an easier way to block people. For reference: I currently have three blogs blocked. Two of them are pornbots. One is a nazi. If I don’t want someone’s content on my dash, I don’t follow them. This “feature” is entirely useless to me.

*A quick note: Pagination is not supported in this beta test, but we're collecting feedback to send to our engineers.

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. This beta test might actually be tolerable if I wasn’t trapped into endless scrolling. If I could page through my dash, refreshing it every ten posts or so. You know why? Because once I scroll about 30 posts down my dash, tumblr starts overheating my laptop under the load of ALL THOSE POSTS. Things start malfunctioning-- it takes longer and longer to load new posts the farther I scroll. And the keyboard navigation (both page down and hitting J to advance to the next post, and even just using the down arrow to scroll as I read a long post) freeze and stop functioning. One of my laptop fans has actually begun to malfunction.

You know why this wasn’t a problem on the old version? If the data load got to heavy, I could open a post in a new tab, click view on dash with xkit, and voila! Brand new tab! I could close the malfunctioning tab and everything would be refreshed to normal! But without pagination, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Also, after reblogging a few posts, the beta version of this site breaks, and doesn’t open a post tab to add commentary or even tags. It just... reblogs the untagged post with no warning whatsoever. You know... that’s really really not cool. I tag EVERYTHING. Well, almost everything. The tags are the only way to keep track of the 40k+ posts on my blog. And warn people that I am posting potential spoilers, or other specific content. It’s REALLY inconvenient to have to either immediately go to my blog to edit the post and add tags, or even comments. The alternative is to scroll up to open individual posts I want to reblog in a new tab, and then reblog directly there. Ironically enough, THOSE pages actually open with xkit installed, and everything (surprise!) functions perfectly there.

It’s perfectly reasonable to understand why this specific issue has limited the number of posts I reblog. Reblogging content should not be this much of a hassle. Creators have been complaining for a while that reblogs have drastically slowed down, and I think making it even more annoying and difficult to reblog posts will not help this problem.

Also, with xkit enabled, there’s a function that auto-loads images as you scroll, so the images are always visible BEFORE they appear on screen. I don’t have to look at the colored boxes and wonder if this is a post I’ve already seen or something I should sit and wait for. Don’t even think about watching tumblr videos. Loading priority is given to the ads that you cannot pause or dismiss, so that video loads and plays in choppy two second bursts instead of being given priority. Since that’s the content I am actually here to consume, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of patronizing anyone who advertises here with graphically intense ads. And then when you scroll away, with xkit, gifs and videos you’ve scrolled past STOP loading and playing, which I think might be contributing to the intensity of the resource hogging that’s literally melting down my laptop.

And for reference, I have a pretty decent little gaming laptop. A blogging platform shouldn’t be driving it to the brink of frying itself. I didn’t realize just how much xkit worked to streamline this and provide basic functionality to this site.

*And lastly, if you're an XKit user, know that the XKit team is working hard to update things on their end to make it compatible with the beta dashboard.

And this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what I’ve lost without xkit. And this is a really REALLY garbage response to user complaints. “Oh, yeah, sorry we made our site suck even worse, but those nice people who do our jobs for free will surely fix our garbage soon!”

Dear wonderful people at @new-xkit-extension, I love you, and I miss you, and while I wish xkit worked with this beta version I’ve been forced into living with, I truly feel for y’all who are trying to deal with this nonsense on behalf of all of us.

And to the folks at Tumblr... maybe try to just... make your site actually more like xkit. You know, actually functional. None of these special new features are useful or functional to me. I respectfully request for a fourth time to be removed from this inane beta test.

Give us OPTIONS. Let us display ALL THE TAGS without having to click a button. Let me have back my Activity+ that actually allowed me to interact with people from my dash! That showed me real-time inline notifications in a way that I could reply to with a single click! Bring me back to my column of open messaging conversation icons so I have easy access to the people I talk with throughout the day instead of closing them all every time I refresh the page. I already feel socially isolated in freaking quarantine, please stop shutting off all my avenues of communication!

Let us have pagination! I mean, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to force heavy users of this site into a beta version that doesn’t allow us to opt out until your engineers had actually figured out how to make it work in a very basic way.

*Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with!

YES. PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS BETA TEST NOW. I have let you know exactly what I want from this site. I just want it to ACTUALLY WORK. For someone who spends 12+ hours a day on this site, this beta test version is NONFUNCTIONAL. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT. I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU. I WILL ACTUALLY PAY YOU CASH MONEY TO ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT OF THIS AND GO BACK TO HAVING A FUNCTIONAL BLOG AGAIN. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

PLEASE! 

I AM OFFICIALLY AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE FOR ENDURING THIS NIGHTMARE.

(one final quick note... I’ve only been back on my dash long enough to make the parenthetical edits-- i.e. adding italics that don’t display and then adding the asterisks at the beginning of each section of quoted text, and already my laptop is overheating again. For reference, I originally typed this entire post from within my tumblr inbox page-- which still functions normally with xkit-- and spent over an hour on it. My laptop was fine the entire time. Clearly the issue is this beta version of the website. I will never forgive tumblr if y’all fry my literal only portal to the outside world at this time. PUT ME BACK TO NORMAL NOW. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING AND ENTIRELY UNACCEPTABLE. Thanks)

(oops apparently i lied... when the asterisks and the previous final note failed to display, I thought that seemed suspicious, and realized that I literally needed to refresh my entire dash in order to see edited changes. Funny how xkit enabled me to do that in real time, which is just another bit of functionality I’ve lost with this beta program. Please guys, this is really, really not working for me at all, just put it back.)

#tumblr problems #staff #support #xkit #was this good enough for you? because I am totally done with this if that wasn't completely obvious #please end my suffering

[commander-rahrah]

RESIDENCY: SECOND CHANCES (AN OPEN HEART FIC): PART TWO

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan. Please note that both pairings are present in this fan fiction — off & on, at the same times, and the relationships do ebb & flow. Please keep this in mind. Thank you.

Masterlist: Click Here

Chapter Rating: T (drinking, swearing)

Word Count: 5000+ (its a big one) 

Description: Bryce and Jordynne have time together to explore what everything happening between them means, since Ethan is away in the Amazon finding his own answers.

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details.

Author’s Note: Well this took much longer than expected! With everything happening in the world, I found it harder and harder to take that personal time for myself to get away and write. But I eventually carved out time for it, and it felt nice to get back into the perspectives of Jordynne, Bryce and Ethan. This fic has a lot of little moments and memories from Book 1 (and fic 1) that can turn into big moments for these characters in the future <3

As always any likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated. If you would like to be added/removed from the tag list please just let me know! I have always had issues with the tag list as well (people not receiving notifications) so if you do receive a notification if you could let me know that would be great! Or if you have any tips for why it wouldn’t be working? 

Taglist: @drakewalkerfantasy @owleyes374 @lahelable @mayar-mahdy @paisleylovergirl​ @nicquix @emilymay100 @octobereighth @llamasgrl @timmagicktoad @lilyofchoices @msjpuddleduck @mfackenthal @paulfwesley @ccolz88-blog @mindlessdreaminxo @jooous @lapisreviewsstuff @choicesarehard @themingdynasty @omgjasminesimone @hopelessly-shipper  @binny1985  @perriewinklenerdie  @jens-diamondchoices  @indiacater  @chasingrobbie  @writingsbymissy  @dimitriwife  @tacohead13  @amy-choices  @violinet​ 

Previous Updates: Residency — Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen Part Seventeen Part Eighteen Part Nineteen Part Twenty

Residency: Second Chances -- Part One

Chapter 2

The golden liquor coated her pink lips, turning them shiny. They pursed together, licking the excess off as she lowered the shot glass to the table with a loud bang.

The sound snapped Bryce back to reality — and he swallowed hard as she watched Jordynne throw her head back and laugh.

She was in full force tonight. Her big laugh echoing in the bar. Her perfect, wide smile drawing everyone in. Her wild, blonde hair being thrown over her shoulder.

Sometimes he wondered if she was really from this world.

“Let’s get more!” Her voice was much higher than usual — a good note that she was getting more and more intoxicated.

“C’mon Jordy, let’s pace ourselves.” He suggested, grabbing onto her wrist gently.

“Pace ourselves?! Do I look like a beginner to you? Come on!” She put out her bottom lip at him, looking up at him with giant puppy dog eyes.

It was like a punch to the gut — she could get whatever she wanted with that look. Dammit.

Before he could reply, Jackie came to the table with a tray of more shots and Jordynne greedily grabbed two of them.

“Whoa, Holland’s on a roll tonight,” Jackie said as she slid into the booth, passing out the remaining glasses.

“She’s on something.. that’s for sure,” Sienna said to them, a hand in front of her mouth.

At the sound of the next song coming on, she jumped onto her leather seat in the booth. “This song! This song!!”

He couldn’t even hear it over the crowd. But he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at her excitement.

She crawled over Sienna and jumped out of the booth, landing with surprising dexterity for the amount of liquor she had consumed. “Come on dance with me.” She stretched her tan fingers over to him, “Please.”

“Okay,” He agreed — maybe a little too easily.

He grabbed onto her warm fingers, letting her pull him to the dance floor with surprising strength.  

He watched her jump up and down for a moment — her blonde hair flicking around wildly. He let out a laugh, before mimicking her movements — his tan arms raised above his head as they danced recklessly in the crowd.

She joined in with his laugh — flashing her white teeth at him in a brilliant smile. He gulped as she moved closer to him. He could still smell her, even in the old bar — orange blossoms, vanilla, and jasmine. He could get drunk off of that scent.

His heart fluttered as she grabbed onto him casually, pulling him into her to dance more closely. Bryce was suddenly overwhelmed being this close to her — he felt dizzy, and it wasn’t from the liquor.

Jordynne Holland was intoxicating. And addicting.

His dark eyes settled on her mouth, how much closer it was getting to his as she swayed in front of him.

“Jordy...” He breathed out, stepping away from her.

“What?” Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she looked up at him — her green eyes fluttering. She stepped forward and carefully wrapped her arms around his neck. “I just wanna have some fun. You’re fun. You like fun. Remember fun?” Her pink lips stretched into a smile.

He felt his stomach twist and tug and flutter all at once.

Bryce so badly wanted to give in — to crash his lips onto hers, to hold her back. But he didn’t know where all of this was coming from. Things were still so messy — and right now, she was messy. There had to be something that caused it.

“I know — I just —,” He hesitantly put his hands on her waist, steadying her movements, “Are you sure, you’re okay?”

“I’ve never been better Bryce Lahela. Now dance with me.” She replied, tightening her hold on him as she pushed her body up against his.

_____________________________________________________________________

Ethan watched the light through his window dim as the plane flew into a series of clouds — the pages of his book in his lap suddenly becoming harder to read. 

Letting out a sigh, he put his head back on his headrest — leaning against it as he looked over his shoulder and out of the window.

He eyed the empty spot next to him — a placeholder for his leather bag this time. He tried hard to not go there — to think about the last time he was at the airport, on an airplane, who was with him. If he started down that road, it would make everything harder.

So he ignored the subtle reminder — repressing the memory and averting his eyes from the empty chair.

“Hi sir,” A brunette flight attendant pulled a cart up near his seat, “Due to the length of the flight you will be provided an in-flight meal. It will be arriving shortly. Would you like a beverage to go with it? Spirits? Wine?”   He gestured to the cart.

Ethan swallowed as he eyed it — the little bottles of alcohol clinking together as the flight attendant shifted the cart.

It was tempting. It could be another way to repress memories in the long flight. To calm any gears that started winding.

He cleared his throat, putting on a polite smile, “Can I actually just have a coffee?”

“Of course, sir.” He poured the hot beverage and carefully passed it to him. “I’ll be back with your meal.”

Ethan took a sip and grimaced slightly. It was terrible. And he had to force another thought down as he thought of who else would grin and bear it with him.

But it was just a coffee. He’ll get over this.

He can get over this. He could do this.

_____________________________________________________________________

The slightest crack of one of her eyes caused Jordynne to groan in pain. Her head was pounding — and even the little trickle of light coming through the blinds was killer.

Blinking over and over, she finally was able to open her green eyes fully. She was in her bedroom — how she got there? She wasn’t entirely sure.

The previous night was a blur. She remembered taking an uncertain amount of tequila shots and dancing. So much dancing — her feet were killing her.

Letting out another groan, she shifted onto her side but froze when she felt resistance next to her. Moving her head, her eyebrows raised as she saw Bryce laying next to her — sleeping soundly. He was still wearing his jeans and t-shirt — his arms folded around himself carefully as he slept on top of her white duvet.

Her eyebrows furrowed together — a deep line forming in her forehead. Now that she didn’t remember. Peaking under the duvet, she realized she was still wearing clothes — her boyfriend briefs and shirt were clinging to her body. Her mind started whirling as she attempted to connect the dots.

“Hey,” Bryce’s groggy voice whispered next to her, “You okay?”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek — praying that it was too dark in the room for him to see how embarrassed she looked, “I’m— I’m pretty rough.”

“I would imagine so. You consumed enough tequila to get you, me, and Sienna drunk.”

“Ugh.” She groaned.

“And I’m sure spending two hours on your bathroom floor probably didn’t help.” 

“Nooo...” Her face felt hot as it flushed with embarrassment.

He let out a quiet chuckle, “Oh yeah. Held your hair back and everything.”

She wasn’t sure if she had ever hated herself more then that moment. “Ugh, I’m so sorry Bryce.”

“Don’t be — I didn’t mind.” She gulped as she felt his practiced hand rub her shoulder.

“I’m sure that’s not what you signed up for when we decided to go out last night.”

“I mean, I went to hang out with you. And we did hang out..” His voice trailed off for a moment, “I just didn’t imagine it would be on your bathroom floor with your head hanging off your toilet.”

“Haha,” She hesitated for a moment, “Did we — Did I say anything? Or... I dunno, try anything?”

“Oh yeah,” He let out a little chuckle again, “Drunk Jordy is chaaaatty. And handsy.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t — we didn’t do anything. You just tried to kiss me a couple of times.” He mumbled a little.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized again.

“People have done crazier things then try to kiss someone while drunk on Tequila.” He reassured.

“I know, I— But we never—“

He interrupted her, “S’okay Jordy.”

“Thanks for staying with me.” She whispered. And she meant it. As complicated as it was, she was glad Bryce was there. He was always there for her.

She felt the bed shift as he turned on his side to face her, “What kind of doctor would I be if I didn’t take care of you?”

“I live in a house full of doctors.” She could feel how close his face was to hers.

“Ha — right.” She could see his sheepish smile in the dim light. “I just needed to know you were okay.”

There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” She lied — a little too easily.

“I just — I haven’t seen you like that before. You were drinking hard. Did something happen?”

She shook her head against the pillow, “I just wanted to let loose. Celebrate surviving my first week back. I just went a little bit too hard.”

“That’s the only reason?”

“Yeah.” She did her best to hide the lie, suppressing the memory of Ethan walking away in the parkade, “So what to do I gotta do to convince you to drag my ass out for some breakfast?”

“No convincing necessary.”

_______________________________________________________________________

 He fell into a routine a lot easier than he thought he would. The repetition was nice — satisfying after the continuous curve balls life had thrown at him over the past year.

There was still chaos here — it was still a medical crisis. But it wasn’t anything that Ethan couldn’t handle.

He spent most of his days in their temporary clinic — diagnosing cases. In the evenings he would spend time with other team leaders, discussing measurements and tactics for preventing further cases. During their free time, he would usually see himself to his room — avoiding the socialization hours around the campfire. He rarely spoke to his colleagues in Boston, why would he do it in the Amazon.

One of the local doctors had told him his Portuguese was improving. A compliment that Ethan heartily took as he was teaching himself from the little pocketbook in his messenger bag and repetition with the locals.

Most nights by the time his head hit the pillow he was too exhausted to think. For the gears to start winding. For memories and thoughts to resurface from the far depths of his mind. And if they did — he forced them away. Closing his eyes with knitted brows, until sleep overcame him. And then he would wake up to do it all over again.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Wow, it’s been a while since I was in here,” Jordynne smirked as she stepped into a familiar supply closet.

Bryce had texted her during her break — asking to meet her there. She didn’t have to ask which one he meant — she knew. The supply closet from the first day they met. From where she had dropped all of her usual guards and kissed a stranger.

The smirk fell off of her face when she saw Bryce’s expression. It was serious — his usual megawatt smile was nowhere in sight. “Wh—what’s going on?”

He took a steadying breath before he spoke, “Jordynne, when did you know?”

“Know what?” Her eyebrows furrowed.

“That Ethan was gone. That he was leaving again.”

Her mouth opened slightly, but nothing came out. She didn’t know what to say.

He let out a sigh — taking her silence as an answer. “Is that why you got like that? At Donahue’s? You literally drunk enough to make yourself sick.”

“I— I was upset.” She explained, stepping a little closer to him, “I didn’t know what else to do — I just didn’t want to deal with it.”

“Have you dealt with it?” He asked back, his voice sharp, “You lied to me. I asked you what was really going on. And you lied.” His brown eyes stared deeply into her green eyes — studying her.

“I— I can’t talk to you about him, Bryce.” She wrapped her arms around her torso, folding in on herself. “I know you tell me I can but I— I just can’t.” Her eyes dropped down to her shoes.

“Why not?”

“Because it isn’t fair!” She raised her voice, her jaw clenched tightly, “Bryce, every time something bad happens with Ethan I run to you. When I didn’t want to admit to myself how I felt about him, I went to you. When he rejected me, when he quit, when he flew to a different continent literally just to get away from me. I keep boomeranging back to you Bryce. And it’s not fair.”

The small space of the supply closet turned quiet as they both thought.

Jordynne broke the silence as she finally looked back up at him, her voice croaking out, “So no I don’t want to talk to you about Ethan. Because it reminds me of what an atrocious person I am.”

“You’re not a bad person Jordynne.” Bryce shook his head at her, reaching a tan hand out and brushing a piece of her hair away.

She closed her eyes at his touch, doing her best to not lean into it, “I am Bryce. I have been to you.“

“I think... I think that you’re human. And things got complicated. And that I decided it was worth the complication — your feelings and relationship with Ramsey included.” He used a knuckle to raise her chin, putting her attention back on him, “But I need you, to be honest with me. Is there something between us? Or did I just invent that?”

“No.. of course there is Bryce. But I... but there’s something between Ethan and I too. Or there was.” She grabbed onto his hand, holding onto it as she took a deep breath. “You’re one of my best friends Bryce. And you’re more than that. And that’s why I need to say this. I think we should stop the “more” between us. For now. Until I — until I can figure how to stop complicating everything. And I can’t do that if we ...”

“Okay.” He said, interrupting her with his honey voice. He was nodding at her — his dark eyes focusing on her as he placed his steady hands on her shoulders.

She let out the breath she was holding, staring up at him in disbelief, “Okay? Just like that. Why are you so agreeable?”

“Puppy dog remember?” He gave her a half-smile, his long hair falling into his eyes as he looked down for a moment. “I’d thought you would’ve figured out by now I’m not going anywhere, Jordy.”

_____________________________________________________________________

Ethan hesitated for a moment — looking at the group of people sitting and chatting by the fire. He could join them — if he wanted.

Shaking his head, he plopped himself down on a stool on the edge of the campsite. Tucked away, and out of sight.

He pulled out the pocket-sized translation book from his chest pocket and started thumbing through it in the dim light from nearby lanterns.

“May I?” A voice asked from behind him.

Ethan stifled the sigh that almost escaped him. Straining his neck, he turned to see Dr. Adébáyọ̀ standing sheepishly, waiting for his response next to the empty stool beside him. He grunted in response, closing his book and slipping it back into his pocket.

The pair sat in silence for a moment, staring off at the distant campfire and taking sips of their drinks from their steel water bottles.

“Do you mind me asking why you came here, Dr. Ramsey?” The other doctor's voice broke the silence.

Ethan furrowed his brows, “Why?”

“I’m curious.” He shrugged, looking over to him.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back.” The man retorted quickly. “Humor me.”

Ethan remained silent — keeping his eyes on the lid of his water bottle.

“Okay — I’ll go first. I came here to practice, of course. Help with research. But I came here for selfish reasons too.” Dr. Adébáyọ̀ settled into his seat as he spoke. “My family emigrated from Nigeria when I was 8. We lived in the UK, Canada, America. We traveled all over the world. But never South America. My father died last Spring. He always wanted to come here. So I signed up for him. It’s sentimental but — I’m glad I did.” He smiled up at the night sky that was glittering with white stars.

“I’m sorry about your father.” Ethan finally replied, looking over at his comrade.

“Me too,” He nodded, a sad smile on his face. “So are you going to tell me why the Ethan Ramsey left his fancy office in Edenbrook for tents in the Amazon?”

The Ethan Ramsey.

He hated that.

He hid his white-knuckled fists at his sides. “I am a diagnostician. I came to diagnose and treat Malaria and other ailments.” He used his practiced voice.

“And that’s it? You are a doctor and nothing else. What are you running from?”

Ethan remained silent for a long moment. He had been avoiding thinking about it this entire time. Why he had flown all the way out here. Abandoned his regular life to sit in a tent all day in the Amazon.

Out of sight, out of mind.

But he could feel his stomach twisting — a gnawing.

“Not what.”

“Hmm?” The other man was so shocked at him speaking, he barely heard him.

“Not what. Whom— whom I’m running from.” He let out a heavy sigh.

“I see. And this person... They are family?” Dr. Adébáyọ̀ asked with a raised brow.

He shook his head.

“Ah, I see. Matters of the heart.” He span around on his stool, so he was facing him more, “You are not together anymore?”

“We — we never got the chance to be together in the first place. Not really. She — we’re coworkers.” He admitted.

“That could be complicated.”

“And when I get back I’ll be her boss.”

“That’s more complicated.”

“Yes.” His voice was barely a whisper as he admitted this all out loud.

“What are you going to do? Coming here is doing what?” He questioned — his eyebrows furrowed as he studied Ramsey in the dim light.

“Delaying the inevitable.” He took a swig from his water bottle, gulping it down, “I’ll have to face her eventually.”

“And when you do?”

He avoided the question, “I just keep thinking to myself what if things were different. If she worked at a different hospital, if we met at a conference instead...”

“Do you want to hear something that was told to me? The universe sends us exactly what we need, right when we need it.”

Ethan let out a sad laugh, remembering Teresa saying the same words to him. “A patient told me the same thing once.”

“And is she? What you need, right when you needed it?”

Ethan thought to the past year. He couldn’t have handled Delores without her. She helped him process and navigate the Naveen situation. Hell, she saved the man too.

She grounded him — brought him back down to Earth. Yet had never had more ups and downs in his life before meeting Jordynne Holland.

He couldn’t have planned for any of it. But he wouldn’t take it back either.

“She — she’s everything I need that I never knew I wanted.“

“It sounds like you have an answer.”

“I don’t — because I’m not what she needs.” Ethan hung his head back for a moment, pursing his lips as he looked up at the inky black sky.

_______________________________________________________________________

She had forgotten how easy it was with Bryce Lahela.

How contagious his smile was. How infectious his laughter was. How easy it was to fall for him.

She was starting to remember why it had been so easy to make out with him in that closet after only knowing him for a few hours. What those early days were like — sneaking away together, watching movies in bed, remembering each other’s burger orders. Before she had made a mess of things.

The entire group was laid out on a couple spread out blankets at the park across the street from the apartment. They had packed some snacks and music — and were all basking in the sun, enjoying each other’s company.

Jordynne was sitting with her knees to her chest — smiling down at the blanket as she listened to Bryce’s warm chuckle reverberate through her. He was sprawled next to her, teasing Sienna about Danny.

Jackie, Elijah, and Aurora were in the blanket next to them — arguing over who has the best taste in music as they passed the speaker around.

She knew what she and Bryce had decided. And they had honored that over the past month. They were still friends — after everything the pair had gone through in the last year, she felt like she could always rely on that fact. They still hung out altogether, and a few times alone too. But sometimes she would catch herself staring at him a little too long, or laughing at his joke a little harder than anyone else.

The tune of an ice cream truck nearby snapped her back to reality as her friends buzzed with childlike excitement. “Ooo! Let’s get some for dessert!” Sienna jumped up, a wide smile on her face.

“Good idea,” Bryce stretched his arms behind him to push himself up, the hem of his shirt pulling up just enough that beginnings of his tan abs were revealed. Jordynne bit her lip as she watched him get up, “What does everyone want?”

“Chocolate!” Elijah said eagerly, his eyebrows raising up on his forehead.

“Gotta go classic — vanilla please Lahela.” Jackie gave him an unusually warm smile as she looked up at him.

“Got it. Mint chocolate chip Jordy?” He asked, looking down at her expectantly. 

“Um, yeah. Thanks.” She blinked in surprise at him knowing before a small smile spread across her face. Bryce Lahela knew her way too well.

Once they had returned with their frozen treats, the group sat together in a circle. Eating fast as the treats started melting over their fingers on the sunny summer day. Bryce had sat next to her again — his bare knee touching hers as they sat crossed legged. It was comforting. And maybe a little distracting.

Jordynne dared a glance at him, to only find him already looking at her. Her breath caught a little as he let out a little chuckle.

“Oh, you gotta little’,” He pointed his finger at his mouth, indicating she had something on her own, “Here I’ll get it.

He reached forward, his hand moving up to her face — his thumb gently swiped at the corner of her mouth, wiping away the melted ice cream. Jordynne unconsciously parted her lips as his thumb traced the curve of them. Their eyes finding each other during the few seconds — holding each other’s gaze.

Sienna coughed awkwardly — breaking the moment.

“You get it?” Jordynne asked, blinking herself back to reality.

He smiled sheepishly at her, “Yeah, I did.” Her eyes fell to the ground before his did, her face flushing a deep pink.

Sienna grabbed onto Jordynne’s shoulder, turning her attention, “Hey Jordynne, I need to wash my hands. Come with me?”

“Oh,” She tried to hide the surprise on her face, “Sure.” She followed Sienna’s quick march to the public restrooms across the park.

“Uhhh, so I thought you guys were gonna cool it?” She asked with one eyebrow raised as they entered the restrooms.

“What? We are — nothings happened.” She shrugged in reply as she headed to the sink.

“Suuuuuure,” The word dragged on with a tone of disbelief, “You looked like you were about two seconds away from sucking each other’s face.”

She shook her head, “We’re just friends right now Sienna.”

“Mhmmm.” Her friend sounded like she still didn’t believe her.  

“I mean it.”

She watched as Sienna turned on her heel and headed into one of the dark green stalls. “I’m just saying friends don’t look at each other like that.”

“You should talk. Aren’t you and Danny “just friends”?” She retorted. She grinned a little when she got no reply.

As she waited, Jordynne pulled out her phone from her back pocket. Her thumbs swiped over her keyboard quickly as she replied to the lengthy group chat between Kenzie, Carter and Jason. God, she missed them.

She started scrolling aimlessly through pictogram, liking photos of friends and scenery back home. Her homesickness was starting to become intolerable.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she scrolled passed a photo quickly — not quite believing what she saw. Scrolling back up, she felt a pang in her chest as she realized she saw it right.

It was Ethan.

The World Health Organization had posted it — whom she followed long before he volunteered with them and flown off to a different continent. He was in the corner of a white tent — his mouth pressed in a firm line as he listened to the slightly out of focus patient sat in front of him.

He looked more rugged — his stubble darker and longer than she had ever seen it. His skin had a golden tinge to it from spending time in the Brazilian sun. It was weird to see him out of his usual button-up shirt and jacket — he was wearing a soft henley instead, showing off the lines of his neck and shoulders.

She swallowed her feelings down as she realized the most important thing about the photo. He looked fine. His usual Ethan Ramsey self. He wasn’t torn up about leaving. He clearly didn’t look like he was having sleepless nights, worrying about what happened to them, what was going to happen to them.

Not that she was doing that anymore.

Well, not as often. She was trying.

Jordynne blinked away at the tears welling in her green eyes — staring up at the tacky fluorescent lighting in the public restroom.

“Hey — you okay?”

She felt Sienna’s warm fingers grab onto her wrist gently. Her coffee coloured eyes were filled with worry.

Jordynne mustered on a smile, squeezing her eyes shut to get rid of any lingering tears. “Oh, yeah yeah. I’m fine.” She reassured — sliding her phone back into her back pocket quickly, “Just my allergies with all the pollen.”

Sienna looked up at Jordynne, her eyebrows still meeting in the middle a bit from concern, “Okay.. you good to head back to the others?”

“Of course. Everything’s good.” She lied through her teeth, forcing a smile onto her face a lot easier then she thought she could.

_____________________________________________________________________

 A couple of days off in the nearby port town did Ethan a lot more good than he had expected.  Santarem was gorgeous — it had been a long time since he had been able to visit somewhere new as just that, a visitor. Not a doctor — he had no busy conferences or meetings or lectures to attend. And there were definitely no tents for taking RPDs for Malaria — thankfully he got to take a break from that.

He could barely remember the last time he had just gone somewhere to enjoy being there.

That’s why when he saw the sign for motorcycle rentals, he had marched straight towards the shop.

Now he was riding along the coastline — the wind wiping around him as the fine machine purred down the road. The green leather jacket he had purchased was still a little tight — it needed to be broken in. But he had liked the way he felt in. How he felt on the bike.

A little jolt of pain went through his face — and Ethan realized it was because he was smiling. So wide that it was hurting.

Pulling over on to the side of the road, he used the toe of his boot to put up the kickstand. Maneuvering around a few rocks he made his way to the shoreline.

He stood there for a moment — putting his hands into his jeans’ pockets and soaking in the Amazon river in all its glory.

Pulling out his phone he took a photo of the scenic view of the river. He hadn’t touched the device since he came to South America — airplane mode staying on constantly to stop any reminders of Boston to come creeping in. Then he twisted around and took a picture of his rented motorbike. The only photos of his trip so far — and they were moments he would want to remember.

Without the wind wiping around him, he felt hot in his leather jacket. Shrugging it off, he laid it out onto the sand and sat on it — his arms resting on his knees as he looked out at the water.

And then it hit him.

Miami.

Sitting on that beach with Jordynne — sharing the tiny space of his tuxedo jacket. Closing his eyes he could still remember the feeling and weight of her resting her head against his shoulder.  Or the way her green eyes had stared into his — trying so desperately to read him, to see if he was feeling the same things as her on that quiet beach.

Snapping his eyes open again, he let out a loud sigh — his eyebrows furrowing in anger with himself. He had been enjoying himself — finally, he had a moment of solace and he let that memory creep in to ruin it.

Why had it taken him so long to find that solace? Over a month of being here — away from all of it, Boston, the hospital, Naveen, her. And still, he was battling it. Constantly — every day.

His body twisted with want, and anguish and frustration.

It — they — she had so much power over him still. Even 3200 miles away in a different timezone, a different continent. And that’s what scared him the most. It terrified him. 

Ethan took a hard swallow, trying to stop the emotion that was climbing up his throat making it harder to breathe.

Part  3

#open heart #open heart fic #open heart fanfiction #choices #choices open heart #choices oh #choices fanfic #choices fanfiction #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey fanfiction #ethan ramsey x mc #mc x ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #mc x bryce lahela

[dangan-happy]

KAME-HAME FORGET ABOUT IT!

I would like to say thank you to mod taichi, mod rantaro and mod komaeda. I am the anon who was desperate, the one who struggles with academic issue, keep sleeping past midnight because of extra chores, and struggling with executive dysfunction. I don't know how to refer myself haha

It's funny, I saw the notification from your blog about my ask when I was REALLY in need of comfort unexpectedly. it was one of the worse day, I failed the selection to go to college I'm aiming for. there is an alternate way by taking a test but it was a huge and important thing for me, because other relatives would talk (or possibly brag) about how their children are doing wonderfully in academic stuff to my parents. I don't want my parents to feel embarrassed because of me. so of course, it gives me a LOT of anxiety. my heart is beating rapidly that my chest hurts so much.

Then I receive your response to my ask. It's very comforting, it calmed me down. I may teared up a bit. I really appreciate the advices, encouragements, and hugs. (I love hugs) Especially mod komaeda's advices. Thank you so much, I appreciate them. They really mean a lot to me. I didn't realize how much I needed all of these. To be honest, when I was re-reading my ask, I almost can't believe I typed all that. I didn't realize how much I struggled and desperate I am. It was truly a moment of weakness lmao

I've been struggling to respond your response because,, well. I'm still struggling haha. Unfortunately, after I send that ask, things are getting hella rough for me. It was one of those unlucky phase of time, where your days get worse each day, except this time is WAY worse because I'm going to graduate in a month and I have an important exam in two days. Then I got hit by other problems too like a member of my group project doesn't corporate so we were late to submit and it was even half done (it happened just a hour ago and it gives me an emotional breakdown because it was an important one but I'm fine now), I got blamed for something I didn't do (this happens a lot anyway but I'm very drained mentally and physically), I accidentally spat something that I've been keeping to myself to my parents and made them angry (I don't want to talk about my true feelings to them bc they only make me feel worse or worse, they get upset), more homeworks to catch up and more stressful stuff .

Basically anxiety is on my ass 24/7. It's the worst time of my life.

But whenever I hit rock bottom I would re-read your response and it lifts me up, you know? It always cheers me up reading your kind words about me, and as cheesy as it sounds, it makes me feel hopeful haha. But I never felt this hopeful before. So I'm very thankful for it, and thankful for the other mods who work hard helping other people too who come to this blog. Because even though I'm still struggling and facing the worst time right now, I'm not doing as bad as before.

Is it alright if I ask for another hug? Sorry, this whole ask ended up with me venting again haha. But I really am doing not as bad as before... I guess I'm doing better. Step by step maybe. Again, thank you so much!!

( By the way, this is out of topic but... hopefully people who know me don't recognize me on this blog for this question haha (if they do then oh well. shrugs): which one does look scarier for you, Once-ler from Lorax or the character designs from the movie called Cats (2019)? I'm not hating the movie, my friend and I are having a lighthearted discourse about it. u_u )

(Neither. Neither one is even that scary at all, for I fear nothing ~ Mod Hajime 🍊🌈)

---

O-Oh, welcome back, kiddo! Whoa, that’s quite the ask you got here. But it’s more or less an update, i-if I’m correct, and a decent one at th-that. Like you said, it’s all step by step progress, wh-which is still progress no matter how you look at it.

I-I hate to hear that there’s been a few extra bumps along the road since your last ask, b-but I’m at least glad to hear that you’ve been making some sort of progress. Progress is still progress, no matter what. I-I’m just glad that you came to us. I-I’m just some average programmer, but I will agree that Nagito and Rantaro did amazing. Nagito’s... quite the interesting kiddo, but he means well, and Rantaro’s a brotherly figure th-that everyone likes, one way or another. Me? Ah, well... I-I can at least give good hugs, I guess?

S-Speaking of hugs, I’d love to give you one. I-I can at least do that right, heh. I’ll give you as many hugs as you want, kiddo. I personally don’t mind at all.

-

Hey there anon, you don't have to worry about referring to yourself, I remember you just fine! Hey, how's that for awesome timing huh? I'm glad you could read our answers when you needed it. I'm sorry to hear that you were having a worse day, but hey, it sounds like there's a way to make that test up a different way, so I'd give your all to trying that route. Don't give up just yet ok? Damn, yeah, I'm no stranger to the whole family bragging thing, that's a whole lot of pressure I think both of us can do without. It's really thoughtful of you to worry about your parents in this scenario, but you can worry about yourself too ok? Regardless of what you do, they should still be proud of you, and if they aren't, they're completely oblivious to your intelligence level and the amazing things you can do. Aw, I'm smiling real hard hearing how much our response helped, I'm always worried that I didn't help, or I somehow made it worse. Not gonna lie, this did give me a confidence boost. Hey, it's ok, you were in a more emotional state. It wasn't a moment of weakness. Everyone breaks down like that from time to time, and I'm happy that we were here to help you at the time. So don't feel bad about that, you're only human, and it's ok to get like that.

You don't have to worry about having the perfect response either. As much as I wish we could, we can't automatically fix any anons' problems, we can only toss our two cents in and cross our fingers that it helps. The good news is that you came to us with your struggles again, so we can try to help some more. Eesh, yeah, those periods are never fun. Pretty sure Komaeda knows more about them than I do, but I can understand at the least. First of all, congrats on graduating! That's real impressive all by itself, so hopefully you can take some pride in that. Ugh, ok, wow, the second part of that. Damn I got hit with all the feels. I hate it when group projects go like that. I'm usually stuck with all the work, or the one who's up at one am trying to finish the damn thing. I think I'm getting kinda incoherent, so sorry about that. I'm glad you're doing better on that end though, hopefully things work out with that. Aw man, I'm really sorry to hear about the blaming thing. Is there any way to prove your innocence? I'm not saying go all class trial or anything, but is there any way for you to argue your case? Even if it happens a lot, that doesn't mean it's ok. You shouldn't have to get used to things like that.

Yikes, yeah I can totally relate to the last part too. I'm also the type to clam up about my feelings because I don't wanna make anyone mad, but that happens some times, and honestly you had every right to say how you feel. You're keeping this all in, and it's gonna take a toll on you. Yeah, that's a whole lot of stress for one person to carry. I'm really impressed you haven't crashed and burned under the weight, seriously, you're an amazing, strong, resilient/ person, and it just blows me away. Trust me, you're gonna get through this stressful time. You're getting close to the end of it, and I know that you're gonna make it through. Damn, I'm smiling and blushing now. I'm really really glad we were able to help you out that much. Good! It's not cheesy at all! I'm glad you're feeling hopeful! The little steps are just as valuable as the big ones, and the fact that you're at least doing a little bit better is fantastic. Of course you can have another hug! It's ok, we're here to listen to vents, so say whatever you want to, no one's gonna judge you, I promise. Yeah, step by step, that's how you do it. 

Oh damn, that's an interesting question. Honestly, I unironically love the Lorax movie, so the Oncerler ain't scary to me. Cats however...that was a trip. I don't have a better way to describe it, it was just a trip. So the Cats designs are way scarier. Like if I met the Onceler in a dark alley, I'd be just fine, but if I saw a cat-human-thing in a dark alley, I'd run for the hills. However, if I met the onceler fandom in a dark alley, that's a whole other story. Ok, I think I'm rambling again, so I think I better stop talking. Keep making those small steps forward ok? You got this.

W-wow... my advice actually helped someone? Please tell me your joking, or better yet pinching me. I can’t believe my little words could affect you so much.... I think I’m tearing up... hehe. I gotta admit, Rantaro and Taichi did a better job than me! What else do you expect from two amazing Ultimates! Anon, I’m terribly sorry to hear that some things have turned up and made your life a bit more harder, but I want you to keep your chin up ok? You’re doing amazing Anon, I can truly tell! Having a partner that doesn’t help with group projects stinks too! It’s ok that you vented again, it’s always good to speak your mind when you feel bad! Helps to let other people hear to so they can help you! And hey, compliments from Taichi? So nice of you! Never heard myself being called an “interesting kiddo” it’s cute!

I thought you’d never ask! I’d love to give you another hug! As long as you’d let me, I get worried when people want to hug me since I’m utter garbage, but if it makes you feel Hope, then I’m happy to oblige! Ah, and the Onceler or the designs of cats? I’d say the cats, I remember everyone having the hots for the Onceler once, so he can’t be that bad, right?

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #taichi fujisaki #rantaro amami #nagito komaeda #mod hajime #mod rantaro #mod nagito

[buckybarnesbingo]

BBB Discord Party Round Robin

What started out as simple summary, one prompt and one sentence per person, ended up being so intriguing that we went all-out and created a fic!  Each person was given about half an hour to write up to 300 words, and the option to cross off one of their bingo squares, and this is the glorious result!

Prompts

cookies 

dragon

window cleaning

potato salad

cat stalker

sharing a bed

beach

Participants

@rebelmeg​

@fightingforcreativity​

@ladydarkphoenix-blog​

@psychiccatpanda​

@dreaminglypeach​

@ibelieveinturtles​

LiquidLightz

@menatiera​

Summary: To say that Bucky had been surprised when a FREAKING DRAGON showed up at the summer BBQ at his beach house would be an understatement. How should the ex assassin have anticipated a dragon, who seemed to have followed his cat to the BBQ? It didn't seem to be dangerous as of yet seeing as the two were happily sharing potato salad.

When Tony showed up late, he nudged Bucky, "Hey Buckaroo - I brought - WHOA! I didn't know you had a... cat."

Sure, it’s the cat that surprises you, Bucky thought, but Tony was still talking a mile a minute around the cookie in his mouth, “So, anyway, I brought that- fuck, is he your window cleaner, he’s gorgeous!”

"Window cleaning is just one of the many services I offer," the dragon said swinging it's head around to stare unblinking at Tony.

Bucky jolts back and stares at the dragon as he recognises the sound of that voice, then quickly pulls his phone out to text Steve... "where exactly are you right now?"

Steve doesn't answer his phone, obviously, but a telltale notification sound pings from somewhere inside the dragon's belly, audible through the slightly open mouth of the creature, and Bucky has to rub the base of his nose, muttering, "of fucking course you do this reveal to me after we've been sharing a bed for weeks."

And you can find the rest of the fic under the cut!

@rebelmeg

Tony, another cookie in his hand, held up a finger. “Um, excuse me, I hate to be nitpicky about weird details when Steve has apparently turned into a dragon, BUT…” he pointed at the dragon.  “Did I hear a cell phone in there? How did you manage to SWALLOW A CELL PHONE?”

Steve turned his large, scaly head in Tony’s direction, and it was amazing, he actually managed to have an extremely Steve expression on that reptilian face. “Classified.”

Tony snorted and dipped a plastic spoon into the potato salad. “You’re a lying liar who lies. And you’re going to need some very intense tech support for that phone by the time it gets… out.  And oh, ew, all of the options for how it gets out are just disgusting.”

Bucky, who had been standing there fighting the temptation to call Steve (he wanted to see what happened when the swallowed cell phone started vibrating and ringing), dragged himself back to the conversation. “Steve, I think you might wanna tell us exactly what’s going on.” He glanced at the cat that was now sitting next to Steve and very daintily licking its paws. “Maybe start with the cat?”

LiquidLightz

The dragon remained stubbornly quiet, a strange fiery blush spreading across its face.

Bucky waited him out for a full minute before he threateningly pulled out his phone and began to dial... 

"Ok, OK!"  Steve caved in as the first riffs of ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ echoed around inside of him and Bucky’s eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously as he mercifully ended the call while Tony coughed up cookie crumbs from all his cackling…  great, thanks Nat!  One more thing he would be having to explain later in excruciating detail.

Raising his huge snout skyward with a big defeated sigh, Steve let out a little spurt of fire before starting on some ridiculous explanation about how he had wanted to look good for the BBQ, so Nat suggested he go to a day spa she knows, but he had nobody to leave the cat with and so he took him along since they offered pet day care services... 

He trailed off as the laughter of everyone around him burst out in a crescendo and he leveled his steely gaze back down on them, now irritated beyond embarrassment. 

Bucky was the first one to compose himself, once Tony started making hot stone massage dragon jokes and he quickly recalled what was most pertinent here. 

"Steve, can you please get to the part where you're a dragon and if this is something you've been keeping from me or a temporary mishap?"  Bucky was not exactly sure what he'd prefer, since, well, dragons are pretty magnificent and he wouldn't mind having his own. His mind began to wander into the possible perks of a dragon boyfriend and whether Steve could fly now.

@psychiccatpanda

Dragons can scowl - that was a thing Bucky knew now.  

Steve harrumphed and glared, trying to work through his embarrassment.  “So I never actually made it to the day spa. I went to bed last night and the cat I adopted when you got Alpine - d”

“Inky?”  Bucky asked.

“No, I called him Beetle,” Steve said with a puff of steam.

“Still say Beetle’s a dumb name for a cat,” Bucky mumbled.

Tony nodded in agreement and helped himself to another cookie. “I’m gonna start the grill, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine Tony,” Bucky said and then tried to turn the conversation back to the dragon boyfriend issue. “So you slept with the cat and now you’re a dragon? Or were you a dragon before?”

“No. I’m not a dragon… well, I wasn’t,” Steve sighed. “So Beetle slept with me, sneezed… and turned into a guy named Loki. I freaked out, he got mad, and turned me into a dragon.”

From the grill, Tony said, “So where’s this guy now, Steeb?”

“I wish I knew,” Dragon Steve said miserably.

“Meow?” Alpine interjected himself and twined between the dragon’s toes and Bucky’s legs to situate himself at Tony’s feet. He looked up with wide blue eyes.

@menatiera

Steve turned his gaze to the cat. “I know, I know,” he said. “Food will be ready for you soon.”

Bucky’s eyebrow arched up. “If you tell me that you can talk to animals…”

The fiery blush somehow deepened on Steve’s dragon face. “Uh, not all animals. But cats… I think they speak a dialect of dragon, somehow, because I kinda understand them now.”

Instead of answering, Bucky decided it was a good time to stuff his mouth with two cookies at once, lest he let out a scream of excitement.

Alpine jumped on the table, and started to rub his face to Steve’s scales. He kept this up, right until Steve started to breathe heavily, and with one final tickling of his full body, Alpine threw himself off the table and ran under the cover of it.

Steve sneezed.

Several times.

With violent force.

The table turned out to be an inadequate hiding place, as it was blown away by the wind of the squeeze, along with most of the BBQ supplies, including the plates, utensils and napkins.

Tony was saved thanks to Bucky’s quick reflexes, who dragged him out of the way of a flying pitcher that was full of hot water to become Bruce’s tea later.

Steve was sniffling and scratching his snout. “Sorry,” he said nasally, then he stared at the ground. “Uh. I think the phone’s out.”

Bucky didn’t want to know. But he kind of did. “How did it get to your lung? Or is a dragon belly connected to sneezing somehow?”

Alpine slowly walked back into the scene, stepping into the dragon snot with delicate disdain, and poked the phone with his nose. He meowed a few times.

“He wants us to look at it,” Steve translated. “He says something about messages. Or notes? I’m not entirely sure. I’m not fluent in cat yet.”

@dreaminglypeach

My boyfriend the dragon isn’t fluent in cat yet, Bucky thought. How is this my life?

“Well, go on, then,” Tony encouraged, wafting his hand at the phone as Alpine curled into Steve’s side again, seeking warmth despite the fact that it’d been far too goddamn sunny all day.

“I would,” Steve said, raising one clawed… paw? Hand? Strangely enough, Bucky had no idea what the anatomy of a dragon is. “But there’s this whole no opposable thumbs issue at the moment.”

Tony looked at Bucky. Bucky looked back at Tony. Neither of them moved to pick up the phone.

“He’s your boyfriend.”

“And?”

Tony scoffed. “And that means you get to be the one playing with the phone he ate, duh.”

“I hate you,” Bucky said. “I hate both of you. And whoever this Loki jackass is, I really fucking hate him.”

Steve made a bizarre snarly noise, maybe a draconine laugh, maybe a growl, then nudged the phone in Bucky’s direction with his nose. “You know the passcode,” he said, baring a whole load of pointy teeth at him.

Dutifully, Bucky picked the disgusting thing up, wiped the slime coating it on his jeans (well, those were being burnt now), and tapped out his own date of birth to unlock it.

“Ha!” Tony said when it unlocked, peering at the screen over Bucky’s shoulder. “Stark Tech. Can’t beat it. I’d like to see an iPhone keep working after spending time inside a dragon.”

“Do we know a Valkyrie?” Bucky asked, ignoring Tony’s bragging to look at the long string of messages Steve apparently received over the last three hours. “Because she sure seems to know you, and boy is she unhappy.”

“Never heard of her,” Steve answered. “What’s she say?”

“Rogers,” Tony read, “be careful, Thor’s brother is

@ladydarkphoenix-blog 

on the loose and looking to cause trouble. Not sure what exactly but he is looking for mischief. Well that can't be good."

"Obviously not seeing as I'm now a dragon," Steve snorted in annoyance, a small puff of smoke escaping his nose.

"So how do we fix this," Bucky inquired as he sent back a text explaining the situation as it was before setting the phone down to not have to deal with the slimy mess for a moment. As the three discussed options and people they thought might be able to help, Alpine let out an angry yowl as he seemingly started floating away from where he'd been napping.

Steve let out a low rumbling growl, "don't touch him Loki or I'll eat you myself…"

Loki appeared, holding a fighting Alpine by the scruff to protect himself from claws and teeth. "Now is that any way to speak to an honored guest?"

@fightingforcreativity

“An honored guest my ass,” mumbled Bucky, pointedly ignoring the snickering coming from Tony.

“My my, so rude the company you keep, Anthony.” Loki drawled, still holding Alpine and only slightly being turned towards the three heroes. “I was just hoping my gift was well received.”

Tony sputtered at that. The assassin turned towards the other brunet, a questioning eyebrow risen. Tony, though, ignored him and started to ramble at Loki, “Serious? I hate that name. Stop calling me that, Reindeer Games! Why are you here? And what’s going on with Steve as a dragon? I mean sure, dragons are pretty cool and he’s quite a beauty like this but c’mon, Lokes, usually your mischief is directed against Thor not Steve.”

Sure, Bucky could say something about Tony obviously eyeing his dragon boyfriend up- and what a mess that was- but he was more interested in what the heck really was going on. Maybe after they figured out Loki's motive, Bucky could think about why Steve preened under Tony’s compliments.

Also, Bucky wasn’t sure what was going on at all between Loki and Tony, but by the look of it Steve had an idea. How Bucky could interpret his boyfriend’s limited facial expressions at the moment, was another mystery to be shoved in the ‘to never investigate’ box.

Before Loki could answer, the dragon rounded on him. “I told you to let him go!”

Steve’s hiss was threatening and Bucky didn’t blame Loki for gently putting Alpine back done and backing up a bit after that. “Fine. The good captain was collateral damage in my attempt at wooing.”

Everyone froze at that. 

‘Wooing? What the…?!’, Bucky thought disbelievingly. 

The first person to recover was Steve though, and cautiously the formerly blond asked, “Wooing who?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Anthony of course!”

@ibelieveinturtles

There was stunned silence as everyone gaped at Loki, then Steve started huffing, little bursts of flame spouting from his nostrils.

"Are-are you laughing at me?" Loki demanded haughtily. 

Steve shook his head. "The look on Tony’s face!" he chortled. "It's like he doesn't know whether to be flattered, insulted, or just plain horrified."

They all looked at Tony, who made an immediate attempt to control his face.

"Flattered," he said hastily, "definitely flattered but, er, I'm not sure how Pepper's gonna react."

Loki drew himself up. "It was her suggestion," he said. 

"Pepper suggested you turn me into a dragon as a courting… gift?"

Loki nodded. "She assured me you have the ego to pull it off."

Steve began to huff again and this time, both Loki and Tony glared at him.

"What?" Steve asked.

"She's not wrong," Bucky interjected in an effort to save his boyfriend from all the attention. "Also, she may have mentioned to me last week that dragons are her favourite mythical animal," he finished.

"Indeed," Loki said, smirking. "She told me she always wanted to ride a dragon."

Bucky's laughter joined Steve's draconic huffing and Tony’s expression changed.

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course," Loki replied. "It is a most exhilarating activity."

Bucky stopped laughing as an idea slammed into his mind. He turned a speculative gaze in Steve's direction. Steve must have felt the weight of Bucky's gaze as the giant head turned to look at him.

"Something on your mind? Steve asked in a surprisingly quiet voice.

Bucky nodded. "That riding a dragon thing," he said.

Steve's eyes glittered. "You wanna try it out?"

"Yes."

They looked at Tony and Loki who were now standing much closer together and seemed to be deep in some sort of negotiations. 

"Climb on," Steve said. "Before Loki remembers to change me back."

Bucky scrambled up Steve's outstretched leg and settled himself in front of Steve's wings.

"Ready?" Steve rumbled, and without waiting for an answer, launched himself into the air.

Bucky whooped as they climbed. This had undoubtedly been the best BBQ ever.

--------------------------------------------------------

Title: BBB Round Robin Fic Collaborators: Rebelmeg, Fightingforcreativity, Ladydarkphoenix, Psychiccatpanda, Dreaminglypeach, Ibelieveinturtles, Liquidlightz, Menatiera Squares filled:

Rebelmeg: Y2 - tech support

LiquidLightz (LLightz): B3 - spa day

Menatiera: U4 - hot water

Dreaminglypeach: B1 - sharing body heat

Ladydarkphoenix: U5 - "Don't touch him!"

Fightingforcreativity: B4 - Collateral Damage

Ibelieveinturtles: K2 - Whiplash

Ship: Stucky, hinted Stony or Stuckony, Pepperony, pre-FrostIron /FrostPepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: round robin fic, dragon Steve, animal transformation, Loki shenanigans, cats, multiple ships, hijinks and shenanigans Summary: To say that Bucky had been surprised when a FREAKING DRAGON showed up at the summer BBQ at his beach house would be an understatement. How should the ex assassin have anticipated a dragon, who seemed to have followed his cat to the BBQ? It didn't seem to be dangerous as of yet seeing as the two were happily sharing potato salad.

When Tony showed up late, he nudged Bucky, "Hey Buckaroo - I brought - WHOA! I didn't know you had a... cat."

Sure, it’s the cat that surprises you, Bucky thought, but Tony was still talking a mile a minute around the cookie in his mouth, “So, anyway, I brought that- fuck, is he your window cleaner, he’s gorgeous!”

"Window cleaning is just one of the many services I offer," the dragon said swinging it's head around to stare unblinking at Tony.

Bucky jolts back and stares at the dragon as he recognises the sound of that voice, then quickly pulls his phone out to text Steve... "where exactly are you right now?"

Steve doesn't answer his phone, obviously, but a telltale notification sound pings from somewhere inside the dragon's belly, audible through the slightly open mouth of the creature, and Bucky has to rub the base of his nose, muttering, "of fucking course you do this reveal to me after we've been sharing a bed for weeks." Word Count: 2300

#buckybarnesbingo2020 #bbb2020 #bingo fills #round robin #party game #collab fic

[pa-panda-heroes]

hey! i'm a new mha blog and i just wanted to ask for writing tips? nothing specific, just do's and don'ts? please don't feel obligated to respond aha 😽 thanks anyway ♥️

WOAH HI!! I’m- omg- I feel so honored to be asked for advice ;μ; I’m still a relatively new mha blog myself actually!!

First off, would you care to share your url with me? I’d love to check you out if you’re already up and running!

Honestly, I’m really bad at giving advice haha. You might have already seen these but I hope I can still help. And I try to avoid “do’s and don’ts” advice typically because everyone’s style is different, so here are things that aren’t really regarding writing style/structure if that’s what you meant.

Do’s:

I know everyone says this, but have fun! Enjoy what you write! Write what makes you happy, and what inspires you. It’s your hobby and you should enjoy it.

Make some rules! If there’s a subject/character/etc you’re not comfortable with writing, be sure to state that! Also pertains to character limits! 95% of the time people respect rules and are super understanding, so don’t be afraid to make some. It’s your blog after all.

Take breaks when you need to!! I can’t stress this one enough. And I’m not telling you to take breaks because “your writing can suffer” or what a lot of people feel like. I mean so that you can take care of yourself mentally and physically. Don’t burn yourself out, and make sure to eat and drink and constantly check your posture + move around! I have spine+hip issues, so sometimes i have to take a break because my back hurts (and other days I can’t sit and write much because I’ve done other things that aggravate my back before I even have time to write).

This one’s kind of a personal “thing” of mine, but try to finish one work (not in one sitting unless it’s small scale) before moving onto another. Personally, it takes much longer for me to finish two works going back and forth than it would if I did them individually. Although, I know inspiration strikes when it wants to, so this isn’t a major issue but a good habit to get into, I think!

Try to be comfortable with infrequent or minimal feedback. This one’s kind of sad, but there is a disproportionate ratio of likes to reblogs for a lot of people lately, and a lot of the times those reblogs don’t give feedback. (I’m luck enough that several of my followers are sweet enough to leave replies and write in the tags of their reblogs, so I’m thankful for that <3 But I’ve seen a lot of writers get very little.)

When/If requests are running thin, you can always come up with your own idea(s) for something to write. You don’t have to be asked for content and wait on people hand and foot. If there’s something you want to write but it hasn’t been requested, write it anyway! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Don’t:

Don’t focus too much on notes and follows! Yes, I know as writers we tend to yearn for validation and acceptance. But sometimes we obsess over it, and it affects us negatively - even if we don’t realise. It’s not healthy to constantly graze through our notifications and end up disappointed if we see minimal or no numbers. I guess this kind of relates to the 5th “do” that I listed? Anyway, what I’m saying is, don’t let it discourage you and stop you from writing.

Don’t be afraid to turn requests down if you take requests/recommendations! Sometimes we get one... and it just doesn’t click. That’s okay! People have different minds, and different ideas. Sometimes we don’t share those ideas or interests, or sometimes we just can’t find any inspiration for a particular thing. There is nothing wrong with this! It’s perfectly normal.

Try not to bury yourself in your comfort zone. Trying something new is a great way to broaden our horizons(is that the phrase?), learn new interests, and expand our skill. I’m not saying force yourself to do anything you don’t want to. I’m just saying if you’ve ever thought of a prompt/genre/etc. that you’ve never done and thought, “hmm... maybe,” you should definitely try it when you’re ready!

If you’re a strictly NSFW blog, please try not to let minors interact+follow you! Check their bio (idk what it’s called oof) and see if their age is there. If it is and they’re a minor, it would probably be best blocking them. You have to be cautious because there’s been a lot of discourse in the fandom about minors sneaking into adult spaces and whatnot (you’ve probably seen it but I thought I’d put this here just in case!)

On that note (sort of), don’t be afraid to interact with other blogs, SAFELY that is, by reblogging their works (and leaving feedback!) or sending asks. I’m still not quite in the habit of this because I’m pretty shy and most times I only have time to write my own things rather than read others’, but it’s a great way to make friends and get into the community. (I am NOT saying you should talk to bigger blogs just to get noticed!! Do not do that!! Just make friends if you’re open to it!)

Don’t let people tell you what to put on your own blog. If you would rather stray from posting discourse, politics, ships, etc, it is your blog and you have every right to do so. If you feel the opposite and want that on your blog, post it! It’s your blog, don’t let anyone pressure or bully you about what’s in your blog.

#panda answers #anoni #writing advice #this is all i csn think of right now #i hope this helped! ·υ· #WOW THIS GOT LONG

[ddaenghoney]

chapter five

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): none.

Word count: 5340

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

The onslaught of work involved in helping a girl group ready themselves for their upcoming comeback left you thankfully busy. Personal preference dictates whether your input in the songs’ meanings is used; some idols prefer to create their own interpretations of the songs so that they’re not completely absent of the creative process, while others let you tell them in detail what the lyrics are intended to mean so that your touch isn’t completely lost. In either scenario, the idols generally think of what is more respectful to you, and the mixed opinions of what that means has been long undefined. At this point, you don’t care either way. The song won’t be remembered as your creation, whether the true meaning is stated or not makes no difference.

In any case, the quartet of girls in this group preferred your meanings. Along with that they’re also grateful for you to help in sound arrangement as well; letting things be put together in your vision. Timing-wise you’re happy to help them out, eager for long hours to be focused on various tasks rather than the instances of running into Jimin around the company.

Before you know it, it’s not as cold throughout the daytime, and Namjoon’s conversations with you commonly track back to his conception of menu items for spring that seems to be moving in fast.

“Y/N,” Your stupor disturbs at Yoongi’s voice. You turn in your chair, finding him peeking from the opening of the company lounge, “My stylist wants you to see her when you can.”

Along with the passing of time, the pictures dropped New Year’s Eve of you and Yoongi died away in the online forums after being publicized for a week on multiple magazine headlines. Despite Yerin stating you both would act as a couple, SoundWave never made an announcement confirming what the pictures seemed to mean to everyone. You were silently grateful of the fact, ignoring it and hoping it would drift into the corner of thought and forgotten entirely. The idea crushed from an email notification on your phone last week sent to both of you stating you needed to go on a date sometime to renew the public’s interest.

“Okay.” You nod your head at Yoongi and he leaves practically the second he hears confirmation. Like Jimin, you haven’t spoken to Yoongi much in the past month and a half. Just as you assumed, his perception of you dropped when he learned of your position in the company. You can’t be bothered to clarify anything with how you’ve felt lately anyways.

Still, his dismissive attitude in that moment causes your eyes to roll, and you spin on the chair back to your open laptop and half-finished, now cold coffee. How in the hell the two of you could manage to interact in a way that resembles a couple is beyond you. Nonetheless, he hasn’t mentioned his desire to rebel and skip out on the date idea, so you can only assume he intends to follow through with the demands.

“I picked out some outerwear from a sponsor on his upcoming album.” Yoongi’s stylist is peppier than either of you about the occasion, and you almost ask her to go on it in your place. She guides you to a near empty rack, only showcases three elegant and expensive coats of vastly different styles. “I wasn’t sure what sort of things you wear usually, so there’s some variety to help you make a comfortable outfit. I’d really appreciate if you’re out seen in one of them though.”

You nod, actually happy that she mentioned taking your preferences into consideration. It seems to be a concept unfamiliar to Yerin. “I wasn’t really going to dress up much. Actually I don’t really know what he and I plan to do for the date. He just said he’ll pick me up at my place at seven.” You shrug, pulling on the sleeve of one of the more eccentric jackets to get a better view of it and the embellishments. Not something you think you could pull off. “Probably stand in a park let people take pictures and go home.” The stylist laughs next to you, pulling another longcoat from the rack and removing the hanger so you could try it on.

“When I saw him earlier, Yoongi was asking me about good locations for a date actually.” She steps from you to look over the coat, analyzing its fit on you. “I like this one, the color is easy to match things with.” You turn towards the mirror, judging the dark blue fabric for yourself.

“He did?” You’re audibly surprised, almost forgetting to pay attention to the clothing.

“Yeah,” She sits back into a chair, letting you move around to test its comfortability. “Well, granted he’s pretty jaded about the whole thing, but I guess he figures he needs to make the best of it?” She shrugs, fingers tapping away at her phone screen. “I guess it could be just to look like you’re both natural.”

That’s true. You shrug off the coat, “I’ll wear this one, if it’s okay.” She grins standing back up and taking the clothing from you, rambling about it looking great and that she’ll put it in a bag so you can take it home, along with some accessories from the same brand that you didn’t have to wear, but it’d be so kind of you to do so. While she moved around you think of how much he intends to present himself as your boyfriend. Frankly, you prefer hand holding to be the maximum public affection. “You worked with Yoongi at the other company, right?”

“Oh yeah,” The stylist steps to you with the large bag in hand, “I’ve been on his styling team for almost two years.”

“So,” You speak slowly, trying to phrase the question best, “If he has a bad opinion of someone, is it likely to change if he gets to know them, or,” You bite your lip, shrugging in defeat, “Is it just something I’ll have to deal with indefinitely?” “He doesn’t like you?” Her head tilts in evident confusion and surprise, “Wouldn’t have guessed. I don’t know though, maybe if it’s a misunderstanding or you both just got off on the wrong foot he may think differently if you clear it up?”

---

If you think about it in the way his stylist explained, obviously clearing up the wrong ideas would be the best solution. In the least it would give the best chance at an amicable work experience from then on, instead of the begrudging interactions that currently occur. Would he listen to your reasoning is the issue.

Your phone buzzes from the coffee table, and the message is what you expect.

Yoongi, 7:14pm: I’m in front of your apartment building.

Y/N, 7:14pm: Heading down then.

You nearly grimace, sliding the luxurious coat over your shoulders. If the entire night is going to consist of monotone conversation or lack thereof while awkwardly clinging to one another like a couple, then you didn’t know how long you could stand it. One date sounds bad enough, but to think there’s an indefinite amount following leaves you sighing as the elevator takes you down.

For some reason you dramatically, in the corner of your mind, anticipate press from the moment you step out of the front door. Like they tail Yoongi for the chance of any abnormal information, or even what brand of cereal he gets at a supermarket. The reality is the low activity of the street in front of your apartment, and the motor of Yoongi’s Audi R8 humming in the midst of it all. The picturesque scene of the beautifully sleek dark gray, shiny finish is what you expect to remember the most tonight.

“So do I get to find out eventually where we’re going?” You ask him after a short greeting mixed with you strapping against the wonderfully pristine leather. Yoongi’s fingertips tap on the steering wheel, a pensive expression making his eyebrows crease,

“Honestly, I couldn’t think of something.”

You nod, pulling out your phone to try and think of your own ideas, “Do you want to eat?”

“Can I ask you something?” He turns towards you slightly, and you realize the car is in park when an arm strays from the wheel to the center armrest. Your body shifts from his as a reaction, apprehensive though unconscious of the fact. Your head tilting yes tells him to go on. “Are you really okay with this all? You accept it?”

“I don’t really have a choice otherwise do I?” Your eyebrows narrow at his assumptions of you. “What do you expect me to say to the CEO? That I refuse to do this all?”

“It’d be a start if you’re also trying, yeah.” The word ‘also’ registers in your head, and you wonder how many times he’s tried to talk his way out of this to Yerin. Or if he had at all. You believe so. From the image portrayed in the public of him, Yoongi nonconforming to the false relationship sounds plausible.

“Maybe you can say something, but I’ll lose my job.” You start scanning through your app of trending eateries in the city. A new place to try so at least something good can come out of the evening.

“She said that?” He’s surprised and you only shrug, still eyeing the device.

“No, but what’s stopping her. I’m not like you where the press is going to question what happened. She has nothing to lose getting rid of me. I don’t contribute like any of you idols, right?” Quiet envelops the end of your small rant, a long breath heaving from your lungs at restarting the frustration you feel. Yoongi notices your fingers stop scrolling along the screen, and your glaring eyes to complete the scowl. There’s more for you to tell, but you’re silent.

“From what I’ve learned, you’re practically the sole reason why the company took off in sales almost four years ago.”

Your head turns towards Yoongi. He lacks an apologetic tone and does not seem particularly impressed either, but something about his eyes gentle, approachable gaze makes you think there’s even an inkling of hope for his opinion of you. Incidentally, no one else has attempted to look up a record of all the hits and award winning tracks you’ve created. To go from nothing to his observative comment, it feels like a step in a different-- new direction.

“Can we go do something, please?” It feels like you shouldn’t dwell on the ideas vaguely present in his words. With the impossibility of change engulfing you in the form of Yerin’s firm words, you didn’t want to think about the world that exists in acknowledging all of your contributions to SoundWave like it feels with the simple sentence of Yoongi’s observations. Because it’s not able to happen. Just the fewest of people know what you do and only three, four now you suppose, have an inkling to acknowledge the fact.

In the drive to a small park a couple of blocks from a restaurant he enjoys, Yoongi and you settle into the quiet of the ride. You can avoid thinking of everything by studying the interior of the car and internally debating on whether you wanted to invest in a driver’s license after all. “Should we go over rules?”

You startle from staring at the digital screen and all of the buttons surrounding it with their countless functions. A nod to cover your daze, then a clearer response that blurts without your mind filtering, “I barely even want to accept holding hands to be honest with you.”

Your hand travels to your mouth at the brash statement, but the nerves clear when Yoongi interrupts your internal monologue of swearing with laughter. Completely amused by your surprised slip of words, and wonders if you had the habit of doing that like you had at Namjoon’s bar cafe.

“Good, we’re on the same page then.” He nods, slowing to a stop at a red light. You stare inquisitively, thinking the avoidance of physical affection to be wonderful considering the situation, and even suitable to the personality you’ve seen of him in the sparing amounts you’ve spoken to him. But unsuitable to the SUGA in papers for over a year. Though he’s never had a public relationship, you only recall an uncaring, do-whatever-I-feel-like persona ever to be depicted.

For the sake of the public’s sight, you both walk through the park, hands clasping together. You both aren’t likely to win any awards for the endeavor, and instead maybe even an ear full from Yerin about a lack of sincerity, but frankly you don’t care. The gentle sway of your arms between one another as you stroll along is enough for you, and endurable when he mentions the pizza at the restaurant to always be hand tossed and have a wonderful soft to crispy ratio.

“What’s your favorite of the songs you’ve made?” The question comes after some languid sips of beer on his end and hard cider on your own. It’s random given the conversation topics from before lead to short replies and silence, whereas the current one is something you think you could talk about for hours if he doesn’t stop you. You hum, slumping back into your seat while Yoongi comfortably drinks more.

“There was this one that I made that was called Puzzles, and it’s about,” You pause, wondering if you’re going to appear like you’re rambling, but Yoongi stares back attentively. “I guess just the idea about pressures holding someone back and how it’s difficult to overcome your own self to try and achieve something you want.” His eyes drift and you take a long sip, assuming you bored him.

“Is that one a group hasn’t used yet?” Yoongi asks after consideration, his lips almost pouting at himself being unable to recall the title ever appearing on the charts. You’re a little stunned by the response, having not expected him to try and remember the song.

“Oh, it was released under the name Meteor Shower.”

“Why?” More confusion in his voice. You refrain a disheartened smile from the truth of it,

“Just what they decided.” Dissatisfaction in your voice registers in Yoongi’s ears. “I don’t really have a say.” You go on, fingers tracing against the condensation of your drink’s glass.

“Jimin,” Your head raises in an instance at the name he says. Yoongi notes the action and falls briefly into silence, then goes on slowly, “He was the one who used that song, right?”

You bite your lip at your impulse, wishing you have better control over your reaction to just his name in the air. You nod at Yoongi’s answer, not minding a lack of follow up questions. When that fact of the song comes back into the light, you remember also how Jimin’s never heard the meanings behind songs that he’s used of yours. Always preferring to create his own interpretation so that he wouldn’t be completely taking from you.

“I hope he’s not mad at you for having to do this whole relationship thing.” Yoongi comments quietly, staring towards the tabletop that awaits a pizza. When he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen Jimin around the company at all to apologize to him about the situation at hand, considering himself to be a part of the cause for the false relationship occurring in the first place.

“He’s not. Don’t worry about it.” You say before inhaling. You take a large gulp of the sour beverage as Yoongi looks at you skeptically. Setting the now empty glass back down, you exhale, avoiding eye contact but smiling emptily, “He and I aren’t anything anymore. Really don’t worry.”

As an opposite reaction, Yoongi’s mouth parts in shock, immediately thinking that what happened outside of Namjoon’s cafe, just a simple offer to wait with you until the taxi arrived, caused not only the mess of a fake relationship, but now dissent between you and Jimin. The waiter settles the pizza on the table, steam flowing from the top, and toppings perfectly cooked just as Yoongi had told you. You ask for the same beer as Yoongi before the waiter quickly disappears to other tables.

“You both what?” You turn towards him, not expecting to be met with his horrified expression, “I’m sorry-- I’ll talk to him for you, if he’s angry-”

“He’s not.” You shake your head, hand raising to stop him from worrying further, and hoping to end the conversation before you’re able to dwell on everything like you’ve agreed with Namjoon not to do. “Really, explaining things would give me a headache-- I’ll probably cry too, so I won’t get into it,” You laugh slightly, somewhat nervous Yoongi thinks. “Point is: it’s not your fault. It’s over-” You nod your head once with your ending remark. The hand you have raised curls into a fist at that statement and Yoongi bites his lip. “This pizza looks delicious and I want to think about that.” You nod further until Yoongi head joins in your forcing agreement, then quickly shovels a large slice onto your plate.

Minutes pass eating pizza, and Yoongi finishing his beer before your second arrives, then him also ordering another as well. And there’s an understandable drop in conversation. A comment on the food being good on your end and Yoongi nodding, happened to be mid-bite when you speak the words so he’s unable to respond. So instead he contemplates how it’s possible that every topic about you that he tries to start ends up with being made to say something that upsets you. He thinks about those silly conversation starter threads and wonders if their dumb questions would’ve been a better way to speak than his purely innocent question of your favorite song you’ve made.

When Yoongi thinks more about what you’ve said, from the time you entered his car until the finishing conversation before the pizza arrives, he feels uncomfortable about the information you have disclosed. Even if Yerin hadn’t verbally threatened your job, just the fact that you felt like it would be gone the second you try to take a stand against the current way things are sounds incredibly bleak. When he considers the other idols in the company that he’s asked about you, it makes sense that you think that though. They’ve only mentioned small things, muttering uncertainties whenever he commented that it didn’t seem right for your songs to be credited to another name.

And with your complacency to the fake relationship, Yoongi wonders exactly how much control Yerin hovers over everyone in the company. Or if it’s just you that’s particularly handled so that you’ve learned to just accept things as they come.

Your plates lie empty on the table, save for the unfinished pizza crust from the last slice you tried to finish. Beside them are the second set of empty beer glasses, where Yoongi’s elbow settles next to his. He leans his cheek on his hand, your arms crossing over your front as you lean back in your seat. Your face feels warm and half of you blames the speed you downed the latter half of your beverage. Yoongi glances arbitrarily beyond you as other patrons enter the restaurant, not particularly focused on them or anything in the place. Just wondering how the hell he was supposed to do this every time Yerin sent a demand to your email accounts.

“Joon’s place isn’t far from here.” Yoongi’s eyes flick back to you as you stare aimlessly at the table. You go on, glancing to him, “Walking distance.”

Yoongi pays despite your protest that you would. All it takes is him simply reaching the cashier first, while you’re still managing to pull your coat back on. Your glare when he meets you has him shrug, taking your hand as he leads you both out despite your pouting expression. “Think of it as an apology.”

Despite your claim of closeness, the walk will take about fifteen minutes you say after already going far enough for it to be a little ridiculous to turn back around and walk an even greater distance to retrieve his car. Yoongi doesn’t change in disposition at the information, just a passive nod and an observation that the weather outside wasn’t that cold anyways.

“Can I say something now?” You ask him walking along the cement beside little shops in the park area that were starting to close for the evening. People roaming up and down around you to their own dining activities or other. The streetlamps buzz awake, luminating the way free of bugs in the wintertime.

“Okay.” Yoongi recalls saying that paraphrased line earlier. Has a hunch this is your time to bring about a conversation that would need to be forced into civility among the general public.

“I don’t like lying to people.” You say into the cool air, and Yoongi refrains from frowning at the randomness of the statement. “When I got into this job, I didn’t think it would lead to much. I thought it’d be insignificant. I didn’t have the foresight and I was stupid for not thinking about the long-term, sure,” You exhale and Yoongi remembers the conversation in the elevator. He bites his lip, realizing how his words never settled on your end. Why would they. “I guess you can think whatever you want about me, but I don’t like what I am in the company either. So don’t act like you’re the only one.”

You find Namjoon behind the counter when you both enter into his establishment. Releasing Yoongi’s hand, you start to shrug off your coat in the warmth of the cafe while Yoongi does the same with his jacket. Namjoon appears surprised to see Yoongi with you, though you told him you had to go on a date with him that evening, he never expected you to bring him to the cafe. You sit on your bar stool while Yoongi takes the one beside it, looking around at the relaxed environment because he hadn’t taken the opportunity the first time he was there.

“How’s the date thing?” Namjoon asks already having the answer from your responsive scowl and Yoongi’s dismissive shrug. Yoongi then pauses in consideration, glancing between the two of you,

“Wait, you told him?”

“He’s my best friend. From college, remember?” You say in return simply, tracing patterns on the counter. “I’m sure you’ve told someone you trust about this mess.” Yoongi’s head tilts in acceptance of that information, then looks to Namjoon as his arms cross over his chest.

“Did you both want something to drink or eat?”

“We just had dinner.” Yoongi tells him while you counter the question with a nod. Namjoon resists a humored smile at the lack of contentment stemming between you both. He knows it’s rude to laugh at all given the parameters of the relationship, but it’s still funny to look at when you’re both on completely different pages.

“I want the dessert drink I had the other day.” You say, “Get Yoongi the same one, I need to pay for something tonight.”

“You don’t.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone as he feels a text notification. While he replies to it you give Namjoon a look that says you do in fact need to pay. Namjoon nods once in response and walks off to make your drinks, laughing to himself once he’s turned away. “I’m sorry about always saying something insensitive to you, by the way.”

“What do you mean?” You continue tracing patterns on the wood, watching from a distance as Namjoon prepares the drinks as if you’ll ever be able to replicate whatever he does.

“Well I think you’ve ended up mad at something I say every time I’ve spoken to you.” You turn your head resting on your palm to face Yoongi, nearly combatting his thoughts until he continues along quieter, “And it’s usually warranted. Especially what I said to you in the elevator.”

The reflection he’s taken towards his words is clear to you. You’re somewhat upset with yourself at his apologies, because he’s commonly sent them in your direction when he feels like they’re needed. You believe he’s judged what he sees and hears of you, but you’re guilty of the same misinterpretations towards Yoongi.

“I’m just overly sensitive.” You turn the blame towards yourself, and Yoongi shakes his head, stopping you from going further into self-deprecation.

“I was angry in the elevator about this dating thing, and took it out on you because of how confused I was when you told me about your job.” He pauses at the word, eyebrows creasing to quickly add, “Which, yeah, I don’t like it, but I don’t know the story behind it, so,” He shrugs, “Frankly I can’t rationalize it, but I think you really don’t like it too, so I’ll stop being a jerk about it.” You bite your lip, nearly chuckling at an inappropriate time from his apologetic rambling. Humor drifts from your eyes when Yoongi finishes, much softer, more resigned, “And if someone brings up subjects that hurt to talk about, you shouldn’t feel sensitive about it. It’s not your fault that some things are hard to discuss.”

You sense that there are his own memories swimming through the insinuation of the words. Obviously, Yoongi has past events that would give him the same scraping feeling to bring into the surface, so perhaps it is something he’s reminding himself by saying that. Nonetheless, the sentiment is comforting.

“You’re right.” Yoongi glances towards you, biting his inner cheek when your lips cast the smallest of smiles. Grateful, he thinks. But more importantly like the ground beneath you both feels even again.

Namjoon returns settling cups on saucers before you both. Cutely decorated with penguins for the winter season, foam frothing barely over. “This has alcohol in it,” He tells Yoongi while you’re scoffing as you reach for one. “I doubt she ever told you, because she drinks it like water, but just so you know.”

Yoongi nods a little, smiling at the tidbit of information while you mutter something about being a strong drinker and that’s it. “Actually, I forgot. I’m driving aren’t I.”

You and Namjoon both look at Yoongi, whose face appears slightly embarrassed and just as surprised at the fact.

“Joon, this is your chance to drive an Audi.” You tug at Namjoon’s sleeve, watching him recoil away,

“No thanks, driving’s not my thing.” You squint, while Yoongi resigns and sips at the sweet dessert drink that tastes to him something like a hot, spiked, milk tea. “Y/N, I already piss the workers off when we used to go go-karting.” You nod at the memory, smiling softly as you recall them practically ready to yell at him when he somehow managed to drive out of the track.

“I’ll get us a taxi.” Yoongi says, enjoying the drink immensely as he continuously drinks. You open your mouth to protest as Namjoon beats you to it.

“Always a taxi with you two.” You and Yoongi both glare at his words, watching Namjoon’s arms rise in defense, then he side-steps away, “Heard my name getting called from somewhere--” He ignores you shaking your head at his nonsense. “Be back eventually.”

“He’s a dumbass sometimes, sorry.” You finally take the first sip of your drink while Yoongi sets his glass down. Nearly empty, he attempts to savor the rest.

“It’s okay.” He says simply, finger tapping quietly while trying to register the song that plays in the background. You feel like the silence is more bearable, at least amicable. The warm drink in hand is easy to enjoy; a nice difference from when you both scarfed down pizza to avoid further conversation.

“What’s your favorite song that you’ve made?” You finally return the question nearly two hours later. Yoongi smiles at the fact, then sits upright in his seat, considering the different songs and their various importances to him. Yoongi hums to let you know he’s just thinking. You smile towards him, finding his craned neck to look towards the ceiling while he mulls it over slightly endearing.

“Closure-wise So Far Away means the most to me.” He answers, thoughts in his head warm at the mention of the track. You take only a second to recall the one Yoongi refers to, and shift on your seat towards him, nodding,

“I love that song.” You’re reminded of the time you heard it on shuffle in a new release playlist, that particular period of your life having been stressful for various, multiple reasons, but the night it came on you were able to escape and just enjoy the lyrics. “I think it’s still one of the songs that’s always in my ‘most listened to’ playlist from the end of last year.” You go on, not catching Yoongi’s intent gaze and lips tightening to refrain from any type of proud smile. Instead he appears a little shy at your apparent affection towards his song. His hand strays to fidget a small rub on the back of his neck while your sentences conclude and you’re left finally realizing your actions. “Oh, I’m sorry, I went a little on my own tangent there.” Flustered. You take a sip of your drink while Yoongi just shrugs, smiling a little flicker towards the bartop,

“No problem. I’m sure you know there’s no overboard when telling someone how much they like something you’ve made.” He’s in his own thoughts for moments, recollecting scrolling through social feeds for hours after releasing new tracks to see the response. Hearing an audience sing back the lyrics and pull out signs telling him that his work is meaningful, comforting, helpful-- heard. There’s nothing other than appreciation for your words in Yoongi’s head.

Until the silence lingers and his neck turns back towards you. Your thumb traces the outside of the ceramic, eyes in the direction of the foam settled on the drink. A contemplative expression that appears also unfulfilled. Yoongi’s lips part to speak but he says nothing as he realizes that you’ve likely never had a fan or listener to your creations tell you their opinions of the songs. Any feedback from the public is directed to other faces, and you’re never the receiver.

On the ride to your apartment, Yoongi considers your age, and the time you’ve worked with SoundWave. The contract your under, the bits and pieces of the circumstances he has the information of. Refraining from lingering conversations of your situation, and opposed entirely to speaking to Yerin in favor of a change. Yoongi glances at you as you look out at the passing roads under city lights wrapped in January breezes. You’re absent of a fresh appearance like most of the population drifts into at the beginning of a new year. He thinks it’s disheartening, maybe even worrisome that if situations had been different for himself that he could’ve been in the same position that you’re in.

The position.

Yoongi frowns as the cab drives from his apartment, recalling the softness in your eyes and the forced, but amicable smile you gave to him when you exited the taxi at your stop. With his hands tucked deep into his pocket he remains motionless outside the building, chill trying to seep through the layers of his clothing, but he ignores it. Thinking instead of the sympathy that trickled into his chest when he heard the silence following his comment of hearing people say things about songs. The sympathy because he knew you felt the same: you’d enjoy listening to the sort of things fans say about your music. But Yoongi also felt a panging sensation saying you shouldn’t be unable to relate to him. The songs and some production even are entirely yours.

And to Yoongi you’re owed the acknowledgement from the world as such.

if you enjoy please, please let me know! i hope you enjoy the series, i’m working really hard on it! : )

tag list (send an ask to be added): @jaiuneamesolitaiire​​​ @tsvkino-usagi​​​​

#yoongi imagine #jimin imagine #bts imagine #yoongi fic #jimin fic #bts fic #yoongi #jimin #bts #yoongi fluff #jimin fluff #bts fluff #yoongi angst #jimin angst #bts angst #all #series veil

[realtalkingpoints]

What happened with FB Notifications this weekend, and why do I care…???

By Staff realtalkingpoints blog

January 27, 2020 

So what did happen with Facebook (FB) notifications this weekend?  Anything?  If you look for news coverage as I have, of a major news event involving FB, you can’t find it.  I found one or two articles referencing ‘degraded performance’ in obscure publications I’ve never heard of before, and only after searching several search engines. Two articles… on something that I’m sure affected thousands, and thousands of users.  So why did some people post about their FB notifications being blank?  Why is that even a big deal, I mean, can’t you shut those off in settings anyway? What’s the big deal?

Not everyone has seen this subtle suppression technique in action, and perhaps most who haven’t, are using social media differently than those of us who have.  To turn it back a step or two, let’s talk about conservatives complaining they are being suppressed on social media.  You’ve heard this complaint, right?  Usually one of your Trump supporter friends, who’s quickly dismissed by their liberal friends as dreaming up conspiracy theories, and just brushed off because it’s publicly acceptable to not like them, ‘cuz, Trump... So, those people.  Conservatives, claiming they are being shadow banned or deboosted or censored on social media.  

I am one of those people. I will go on social media and discuss politics, usually with people who don’t agree with me.  I will openly express support for our president, Donald Trump, and make more enemies than friends in doing so.  And I will support other ideas, movements, and policies that define conservatism, by participating in conversations initiated by politicians and news personalities all over popular social media platforms.  I’ve been doing this for years, motivated not by the argument itself, but by the concern that the conservative perspective was under-represented in these online discussions, and by the realization that these online discussions were becoming the epicenter of the political discussion itself.

At the heart of it, it’s a demographics problem.  In general, conservatives are older. Not that there aren’t young conservatives, or old liberals for that matter.  But in general, most college kids want to protest something…  And tell them that college should be free, and of course most of them will agree.  As they get older, and many achieve success in career, family and finance, many of them begin to realize the value of the conservative principles they had rebelled against.  As in the college tuition for example.  Once they have struggled through the weight of the debt, and finally paid it off, there is a sense of accomplishment, and a greater understanding of the value of the dollar.   Perhaps they still hate debt, and that’s a good thing. But they have learned through experience, that debt is a temptation dangled throughout life, that can be conquered, but must be entered into carefully, and weighed against the benefits it will afford.  There might also be the eventual realization that our banking system relies on loans and interest, and the requirement that loans be paid back, so banks can make more loans and provide liquidity to the economy.  The wisdom of these experiences has simply not been achieved by the younger, ‘why can’t it be free’ ideologues.  

Ask yourself, how many 18 year-olds don’t know how to use the internet?  The answer is basically zero.  Now ask the same question of 75 year-olds?  It’s definitely not zero.  Perhaps a large percentage over 75 is technically using the internet, but many are using it only sparingly, to do email, mail order and basic browsing. The fact is, we still have several generations who grew up, went through their education, and much of their career before the internet was even invented.  Many of them are intimidated by the internet, perhaps rightly so, but they are definitely not participating in political debates on FB.  My basic understanding of mathematics suggests that the online discussions were more heavily influenced by younger, more liberal perspectives than their conservative counterparts, based on the demographics of the participants.  And as I became more and more involved in these conversations, it seemed obvious to me that this was in fact the case.  The conservative perspective was simply not getting the same representation on these platforms.  It was probably around the same time, that I also realized the social media conversations were driving the television news cycles, not the other way around.

Consider a news anchor or TV journalist with a twitter account.  Perhaps they have a show that comes on at 8 pm.  But they get a news scoop at 11 am.  Historically, viewers would hear about it at 8pm.  Today, it’s tweeted out almost as it happens.  By 8pm showtime, the news has been tossed about by everyone who approves, disapproves or is suspicious of.  I’d theorize, that the 8pm broadcast still benefits from the social media discussion.  It’s more informed and refined, having been both challenged and expanded upon as like minded followers along with oppositional personalities weigh in on the discussion.  The conversation moves forward at the speed of the internet, as passionately informed ideologues share their best arguments in support of, or in opposition to the conflict of the day.  The argument may well be settled by 8pm, regardless of how it gets reported on the individual networks.  The conclusion for me is easy.  News travels faster on social media, than on TV news broadcasts.  And this is revolutionizing news itself.  

So what does all this have to do with notifications?  Why are some people upset about not receiving notifications, and how does it relate to conservatives who think they’ve been censored?  Notifications are what you get when someone likes, shares, or responds to your comment on social media.  Think of an account you follow, that posts discussion of news events.  It appears in your news feed, and you can interact with it. You can like it, share it on your account for your followers, or you can comment on the issue being discussed. Liking, seems to be the least consequential interaction you can engage in.  When you like a post, or a comment, the ‘author’ of that post or comment will usually get a notification that it was liked.  The more likes, the more notifications, and the author gets a sense of community approval or indifference to their thoughts.  I’m sure the biggest accounts with hundreds of thousands of followers often do turn off their notifications, because it’s a given that they will receive hundreds or thousands of interactions every time they post, and to receive notifications of every one would be overwhelming.  But for the average user, notifications of likes are a positive reinforcement to their opinions.  It lets them know that they have accomplished an understanding of the issues being discussed and have expressed something that others agree with.  So why is not getting notified of likes, such a big deal?  We haven’t got there yet…

The effect that the notification suppression has on social media is at least two fold.  Many believe that it is used as a form of punishment by social media platforms to persuade accounts away from posting about topics they don’t want on their platforms.  I remember seeing a song parody by conservative social media personality Steven Crowder. (video here)  I had already experienced the notification suppression (along with other shadow banning techniques), but had struggled to find discussions from other conservatives that this was actually happening (resulting in the all too frequent ‘you’re a conspiracy theorist’ accusations).  Thankfully, Steven Crowder had turned the song into a gripe about all the suppressions and de-platforming that his video podcast had gone through. Their parody of “Man of constant sorrow” included an adapted chorus line that went something like ‘notifications don’t work for days’.  And then I knew.  It was happening, it was real, it was on purpose, and it was a punishment for content the platform developers disagreed with.  I wasn’t crazy.  Or if I was, then so was Steven Crowder, and I was in good company.  

But the effects of suspended notifications goes beyond a superficial punishment for content the platform disapproves of.  When applied to the comments of a deep debate, it has a chilling effect on the discourse being exchanged.  Take Russia collusion for example.  Some of us who followed the developments closely, realized long ago that the claims being made by leftist liberal media about the President’s alleged treasonous Russian contacts just didn’t add up.  Imagine a social media post about Russia collusion, and a discussion took shape in the comments.  Maybe there was breaking news, and the possibilities of what it could mean were being brainstormed for the first time, right there on FB.  Crowdsourcing at it’s finest.  But it was a work day, so average Joe quickly shared his thoughts in the comments section while eating breakfast.  Joe’s thoughts sparked a lightbulb in another participant who replied to Joe’s comment with the missing link to Joe’s idea.  When Joe checked his phone at work, he got the notification, read the reply, realized the missing link, added another comment with his conclusions, and a new part of the mystery was solved.  Much of Russia collusion was unraveled just like that. The major account they were both following, absorbed the developments, polished the theory, and it was ready for the 8pm news broadcast.  The information exchange had moved ahead at the speed of the internet.

So what if, Joe never got that notification…  Joe checked his phone, but there was no indication anyone had interacted with his comment.  Maybe Joe interacts with lots of posts and doesn’t have time to circle back and check them all for replies.  He relies on the notifications to tell him when it’s happened.  The next time he went on the social media site, he interacted with other posts on other topics, and never realized the missing link to complete his theory was waiting for him in the comments section, where he had participated earlier.  He never knew, so he never looked, and the discovery was never made.  By suspending the notifications, they interrupted the conversation and curtailed the exchange of information.  Whether by accident or by design, the platform developers and admins have realized that by suspending notifications, they can suppress the exchange of ideas and content.  Interrupt the dialog, and it will at the very least, slow the development of ideas and analysis.  And notification suppression likely has effects that we have not yet realized. Remember, they have all the data. They know how notification suppression effects the entire community when used in different capacities, and they are using it more and more.

So today, Saturday January 25, 2020, my notifications page on FB went blank.  I had experienced many inconsistencies with my notifications in the past.  Times when notifications for specific conversations seemed to roll in days after the actual interactions happened (perhaps what Steven Crowder was referring to in his song parody).  Also notifications about comments that don’t show up in the thread the notifications came from.  I’m sure there’s others.  Lots of games being played by the overlords with their precious notifications.  But never had my notifications page been completely blank.  Until today. And knowing the unique importance of notifications, I became quite concerned.  I posted immediately on FB, and other social media sites.  I asked if anyone else had blank notifications pages on FB.  The answers came in rather quickly.  Yes, yes, yes.  Many friends on FB said they had similar experiences today or had seen posts from their friends that were experiencing the issue.  Other platforms generated input that it was happening on FB in the UK, and seemed like a wide scale problem.  Of course many assumed it was the usual ‘technical glitch’ that so often explains the unexplained phenomena on the internet.  Yet another friend made curious observation, that I had been suspicious of.  He said something to the effect ‘all my friends who engage in partisan politics on FB are complaining about notifications today’.  It hadn’t affected his notifications, but he felt he had noticed a correlation among those claiming they had.  He thought it was affecting those who regularly espouse their political views on the platform.  

FB has been vocal about their displeasure with the politics playing out on their platform.  They have made public commitments to crack down and dissuade certain types of political content, including political ads during the election cycle.  So was this notification suppression, a deliberate attempt to punish politicos for opining on FB?  If it was a deliberate act, their timing was likely no accident either.

Today was the beginning of the President’s legal defense arguments in the Senate impeachment hearings. Today was the first day, that the President actually got to defend himself via legal representation on national TV in the impeachment charade that’s been going on for months now.  It was right after sharing a video of his legal team delivering devastating remarks and embarrassing the Democrat hoaxers that my notifications suddenly went blank.  Was my sharing a political video embarrassing Democrats, related to my notifications disappearing?  Was this the notifications punishment that FB has used so many times before but on a bigger, more obvious scale?  Were they exercising their leverage to interrupt the conversation and curtail the flow of information?   Where are the news stories about this?  I looked and looked and found very little. Did they choose today because they knew most news outlets would be focused on impeachment and therefor unlikely to spend much time on a silly FB glitch?  Surely, there were zillions of political posts on FB in recent days, as the Democrats delivered their case to the Senate.  Did they choose today specifically to send a different message? The day that the President mounts his legal defense is the day FB decides to punish users for political content…???  

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVEkDRgytCU)