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twistedastrology · 1 month

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Outer Planets & Affliction: What destroys a man.

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gonna talk abt a much darker topic today bc i feel like it and it's absolutely fascinating to me from a very morbid perspective (which happens a lot 4 me)

im gonna start this off by saying this is mostly focusing on extreme cases/what Could happen due to outer planet affliction, none of this is definite if u have afflicted outer planets bc it depends on the severity of their affliction and how many good counter aspects u have to them that help u heal!! :)

to start, the outer planets to me are Saturn to Pluto, so let me give u a quick rundown of what I think these planets are responsible for when they're heavily afflicted:

Saturn - Destruction of the will, the snuffing of one's inner, driving fire.

Uranus - Destruction of the mind, losing your cognitive function, going insane.

Neptune - Destruction of the spirit, loss or lack of intuition, feeling lost within your own life.

Pluto - Destruction of the body, the vessel decays and lacks the strength to repair itself.

i wanna say as well that all of this essentially came to me in a vision from god, i genuinely had no basis in my head initially, i was just rambling to myself in my head and all of this clicked and then it genuinely made sense and i even had evidence to back it up, so i wanted to post abt it because i love dark stuff like this (my blog name isn't twisted astrology for no reason- i mean like the reason was bc it was a play on twist and twisted transistor by korn But yknow it gains reasons as i go on-)

let's go over why each planet destroys what they do:

Saturn destroys the will because it rules over time and persistance- Capricorns are more often than not very driven people, Saturn grounds them and gives them the stability and willpower to see things through. A strong Saturn is often manifested as a very powerful driving force, as the planet often acts an incredibly crucial pillar, if not the foundation in a person's chart.

Uranus destroys the mind because it's the higher octave of Mercury. It rules over innovation and change, even higher thought. A strong Uranus is often an indicator of a genius in whatever area of life the planet is placed into. Thus, when afflicted, it completely shatters and even lacks this potential altogether.

Neptune destroys the spirit because it's known as the planet of spirituality. It's the planet of our higher self and our shadow self, it's our connection to the planes of existence beyond our own. A strong Neptune is often indicative of enhanced intuition, and can even mean the person has a heightened level of awareness of their place in the world and where they're meant to be in life. So naturally, an afflicted Neptune means a complete lack of perspective and the loss/lack of the ability to realize there is more than the self, making one feel lonely, inadequate, and lost.

Pluto destroys the body because it rules over death, transformation and rebirth. It even rules over destruction itself, and its connection to death gives it an inherent connection to the physical body as well. A strong Pluto can manifest as a strong will, but also as a higher pain tolerance because of that. Therefore when it's afflicted, the soul's vessel lacks the ability to transform and regenerate itself effectively, and ultimately will crumble to pieces throughout the course of life.

OK- lemme write normally now instead of all fancy n shit 😮‍💨 But what's my evidence to prove all this-

well someone i know has very heavily afflicted outer planets, mainly saturn, uranus and pluto, but neptune was kinda roped into the affliction as well- and all of this checks out.

saturn especially hits him hard, which also makes it all karmic so idk wtf bro did in a past life but it had to've been Bad bc he's got some SERIOUSLY afflicted outer planets like jesus fucking christ- and like i dont wanna talk too much shit on here but he's insufferable to say the least and, probably bc of the afflicted saturn, will not do the work to fix it.

would genuinely hate to be him on his death bed like 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

ANYWAY-

like i said initially tho this does not mean if u have a kinda afflicted uranus, ur gonna go insane!!! no sir!!! it's just abt the extremes n stuff and what i have literally seen happen with my own eyes- i think most people have enough soft aspects to get them into the process of healing, maybe not even soft aspects maybe just solid placements- it's all subjective, rly-

but this is also a really good way to talk abt the Power that these planets have- they are NOT to be fucked with bc when afflicted, they can obliterate you and your entire life tbh- i dont think they Want to unless you somehow have beef with them but overall they are just incredibly powerful planets and i truly think when reading someone's astrology chart, you GOTTA look at the outer planets bc otherwise you're missing out on SOOOOO much crucial information.

i always say that i think outer planets, whether in transit or in a natal chart, have the absolute MOST impact on a person despite being so far away.

far away ≠ lack of impact.

i hope this was interesting to read or at least thought provoking bc i absolutely LOVE dark topics like these, probably my moon/neptune in my 8th house tbh- i mean im genuinely fucking petrified of tornadoes like lilapsophobia type shit but i still put that image here because i unfortunately think they are really fucking cool at the same time (ive had multiple nightmares where tornadoes have killed me. but like........ they're kinda cool......and i hate them........)

anyway!!!!! thank u for reading this far into my yapping session 🙏🙏

#astrology #astrologer #astro community #astro observations #outer planets #saturn #uranus #neptune #pluto #afflicted planets #zodiac

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magnuficent76 · 7 months

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★○~ ! INTRO POST ! ~○★

{ ★ HOWDY ! Name's Magnus/Mael <They/it/xe/star> ! I'm an adult from Brazil and this is my art blog ! I'm mainly an oc artist, but I occasionally make some fanart for games if it manages to make me insane enough. My main tag is #magoriginals , but there's more under the cut along with extras about me ! Hope you enjoy me bog :D here's some of me art ! ★ }

Wanna get yourself an image ? Head down to my Ko-Fi !

{ ★ I'm a brazillian artist, But I also speak spanish + am studying swedish/italian !

★ I am autistic so please be direct with me ! I tend to struggle with tone/social cues, so in case I'm doing something wrong, tell me right away and I will stop !

★ I don't really like DNI lists because. Yk. Can't really stop anyone here, but here's some general rules for my blog:

☆ EXCLUSIONISTS OF ANY KIND GET AWAY FROM HERE. I AM A TRANS QUEER PERSON. BOOM 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈Terfs/Swerfs/"gender criticals"/Whatever the hell you call yourself !! I don't care !!! Fuck off forever !!]

☆ Please don't repost my art anywhere else. No I don't care if you credit me. Don't do that. Unless I have given you explicit permission, please just. Don't.

★ Main tags: #magoriginals [for og text posts, also goes for my reblog place !] ; #magart [for general art posts, some of my older stuff might not show up cuz its a new tag ! In which case #my art also will do] ; #magocs/my oc stuff [my oc tag(s) ! anything involving them is in there !] ;

☆ Other tags: #disjointed trouts [Just random stuf that doesn't lead anywhere] ; #audience participation [asks tag] ; #for me's ! [Tagged in stuff/fanart for me !] ; #beloved mutuals tag <3 [You already know <3]

★ I tend to only tag "[trigger]" instead of "[tw trigger]" for potentially triggering content. Will tag things more specifically if you ask me !

★ ME STORIES !! Original projects that are currently ongoing !

☆ #Solar Years – Slice of life about an immortal vessel of the Sun God, Baltazar, and their ventures in the mortal plane as they explore the world around them, make some friends, and cope with the crippling existential fear that came free with their "mortality" !

☆ #Caede Tales – A Borderlands fan-story mainly following the Caede brothers —Jonah and Archer— two bandits from Pandora trying to make a living in the inhospitable lands.

☆ #Gaslighting Fires – The dramedy story of Eris Treacher, a wanted criminal woman from the 1980's who wants to make it to the top of the food chain in her city, all while throwing those who stand in her way to the ground.

☆ #HELLBREAKER – The Devil, bored of the mundanity in hell, proposes a game to the souls stuck in purgatory: If you can make it through all rings and defeat their respective sins, you get to ascend to a higher state of being. This particular cycle, a new arrival named Maria decides to try her luck in escaping.

☆ #Computing: Legacy – Follows William and Althea as they're living through a post-apocalyptic technological revolution, another brewing war between world powers for domination over the digitalscape, and the looming threat of mass extinction due to pollution. Also they're in university so they have to deal with all THAT shit too.

Other blogs of mine:

@magnuficentwo [Reblogging place, but also my main blog ! That's who's liking and following yer posts basically !]

#intro post #magoriginals #magocs #magart #txt #my posts #artists on tumblr #my oc stuff #my art #PHEW finally did this #i felt. naked without my intro post

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fourthousandbooks · 3 months

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Looks like I’m kickstarting this blog with a post about my favorite genre type - fairy tale retellings.

So recently I had to travel by plane for reasons, and when you’re on a plane flight with nothing to do aside from write fanfic or read, sometimes you continue to procrastinate on all your writing projects and pick up an old favorite for a fresh reread.

The Black Swan by Mercedes Lackey is a book I’ve probably read about a dozen times now, enough that I’m not really picking up anything new from it, but still enjoy the journey back through familiar swamps. It’s a retelling of Swan Lake as told through the eyes of the Odile von Rothbart, along with the prince who is now known as Siegfried and his mother, the Queen Regent Clothilde.

So the main theme of the story is ~*~Misogyny~*~ and how much it sucks. The setting itself is a world in which women have no power outside of the men they are related to and are blamed for mens’ actions as well as their own. Odette, along with the rest of her flock, was turned into a swan by Rothbart due to their perceived betrayal of men and it is seen as their penance for their actions. It’s so prominent a theme in the story that it can be a little hard to read at times, especially before the viewpoint characters put in their character development and start doing things about it. For me, I’ve read the book enough that it has ceased to be shocking and instead is a nice read for a certain mood, though I can certainly see it being off putting to someone who comes to this book for the first time.

To me, it’s an interesting book in that it starts all three of its viewpoint characters in unlikeable places. Siegfried is a prince raised entirely to be hedonistic and selfish, taking what he pleases and acting without respect or care to those around him to the extent that he commits rape, Clothilde has schemed and machinated her way into keeping her son the way he is so that she can continue to rule indefinitely, even planning for such a thing as her son meeting with an accident so that she never loses her position as ruler, whatever the cost to others, and Odile has completely bought into her father’s misogyny and hatred of women and sees his capturing women and turning them into swans as a good thing for them. While each of them get touches of sympathy so that we know they could be better: Siegfried is very much a product of his mother’s manipulations, Clothilde has grown up in a world that has denied her the ability to do or be anything that she did not manipulate her way into because she was female, and Odile has grown up with her father’s poison in her ears and no experience of others to show her how toxic the things she’s internalized is, they still start at a point where it’s hard to really feel for any of them, especially Siegfried.

Siegfried in particular, who I personally think how you feel about his redemption and turn determines whether or not you can enjoy the book at all, is definitely the hardest sell of the three, given that as part of the theme of the book, he does commit a rape of a young woman and society gives him no punishment for it whatsoever, even when he starts having nightmares and believing that he has done something wrong. Whether it’s merely a product of his mind or an actual visitation, the only comeuppance the world gives him is visions of the girl he raped showing him the monster he is becoming in a mirror she holds before an Angel comes to spirit her away and shows Siegfried a more extended vision of a monster destroying and ravaging everything in its path, to which he wakes up, takes stock of himself and considers it a warning that while he is not yet that far gone, he was on that path and he himself has to be the one to stop it now because no one else will hold him accountable in this world.

It’s an interesting take to be sure, but I can definitely see that being a dealbreaker too. I’m not certain myself that the whole plot consistently works for me, but for me, the most important part is Odette and Odile’s story and so I can set aside my feelings about Siegfried’s plot and whether or not it does enough in it’s time to make it feel like it works.

What I do really love though, is the swans. Odile begins the story on the cusp of the realization she will fight for the whole story, as it is a truly painful realization to have - that her father, who she has adored her whole life and has done everything she can think of to please - does not care about her beyond as a tool to use in his schemes, and that the people who will love her are the people who she has currently rejected. Over the course of the story, through her interactions with Odette and the rest of the flock, Odile goes from distant and hostile to the other women, to finding kinship and sincerely rooting for their success in Rothbart’s plot, and devastated when Rothbart forces them to fail. Odette and the other swans are much kinder than Odile believed, and as the story progresses, she finds out why they were cursed and why they did what they did and comes to realize that she was wrong about them, and they welcome her in as one of theirs now. The swan girls are not deep characters, many of them are never named, but their quiet bravery and willingness to be kind to Odile is what really draws me into the story.

The climax of the story does contain Odette and Siegfried throwing themselves to the lake rather than be parted by Rothbart’s machinations again, but the victor and hero of the story is Odile, who finally finds the courage to pull herself free of her father, end his life and save Odette and Siegfried from the heart wrenching end of their fairytale. The moment that she chooses to act again, and again, and again, yanking a happy ending out of the jaws of misery, is my absolute favorite part of the story. I read the whole book from cover to cover just to reexperience the glee and joy I felt the first time around seeing Odile take control and say no to father and fate.

I do wish honestly that there was a book like this that was more about the swans than Rothbart or the prince. Only five of the swans besides Odette are named and many of them never get a chance to do much besides be swans and swan girls and part of Odette’s court. In addition, while the decision to not have Odette be one of the viewpoint characters makes it stand out as we see her strength and heart through the eyes of those she touches, it does sort of also make it not her story in the same way anymore. She is at the center of it, but it lacks a certain something that I think I would have really liked to have. Also, it would be fun to have a subversion of the swan lake plot where by Odette and Odile bonding and falling in love unexpectedly, even though Rothbart intends to trick Odette with the prince’s failure into staying his swan captive forever, it’s the bond he never saw coming that shatters his hold and frees the swans. Misogynists do tend to be bad at spotting lesbians after all.

(Now I wonder if this telling exists yet, there’s got to be more lesbians fairytale options than there were eleven years ago when I first found this book)

Anyway, as far as fairy tale retellings go, it’s well enough. It’s not a mind blowing or particularly original take on the story, and the themes and premise of the book can be a difficult entry. But I enjoy it enough to have given it a permanent spot on my bookshelf and regular rereads whenever I need a snarky heroine who discovers that she’s a much better person than anyone, including herself, ever gave herself credit for.

#rereads #mercedes lackey #the black swan

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sunsetsixx · 2 years

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lace & silk

a/n: this is a beyond random post for me here at sunsetsixx hq but as a journalism major & previous owner of a multifandom writing blog i guess i was bound to return to my roots at some point ! this isnt me becoming a writing blog, instead just a one-off fic of an idea thats been floating around in my brain for the last 2 weeks that came to fruition in a google doc at 2am. i dont know if theres even an audience for this besides me & maybe like 3 other people in my notifs so enjoy if you wanna & pls dont judge my out of practice writing too much <3

pairing: current!vince neil x fem!reader

word count: 2315

warnings: smutty dialogue, light (?) smut, mentions of tommy & brittany getting it on lmfao, a highly unrealistic take on the behind the scenes of the stadium tour that was necessary for the plot

“Can you fuckin’ believe we’re already halfway through this tour?” Brittany asked, shaking her head as the two of us walked back to where the buses were parked. “I swear to God we just hopped on that plane to Atlanta like yesterday.”

“Seriously.” I nodded in agreement. “Time has flown.”

“It’s been a crazy ride. Like so fun.”

“If I’m being honest though, it’s really not as chaotic as I thought it would be.”

“Really? What do you mean?” She asked.

“I don’t know…I guess it’s just different actually living the modern day reality. We’ve heard and read all these insane stories of them in the 80s but obviously life just isn’t like that anymore.” I let out a short laugh. “No real backstage shenanigans…it’s funny to see how much they’ve mellowed out over the years.”

“Girl you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with shenanigans. My husband thinks it’s funny to light shit on fire with hairspray every five seconds. There’s literally never a dull moment in that dressing room.”

“I don’t know if I’m jealous or not.” I said laughing. “We keep it pretty chill in ours. Mainly just me helping with his outfit and hair. Lots of Fiji water and listening to Sammy Hagar’s solo stuff as ‘pump up’ music.” I explained as Brittany laughed this time.

By this point in the conversation, we had made it to tonight’s stadium’s back parking lot where our temporary homes were located. All of the buses were set up in a line with the lights on, as if ready to drive off at any minute. But from the looks of Brittany’s face, and the absence of our men, we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Hold up.” She said, a look of disbelief gracing her features.

“What?” I asked, laughing in confusion.

“You’re telling me that you and Vince Neil haven’t fucked in your dressing room this entire time?”

My mind began to rewind as many shows back as it could remember, but nothing of the sort stood out. I shook my head at her. “No. Just in the hotels and a couple times on the bus…” I trailed off as my gaze wandered over to the vehicle in question, all kinds of memories from the first week flooding back when Vince so romantically suggested “breaking in the new place” with multiple rounds on multiple surfaces.

“(y/n)! What are you even doing? You’re a tour wife man, you gotta act like it!” She joked, lightly hitting my arm with her bag.

“I don’t know! I guess it just always gets too busy back there, especially with all the meet and greets and photoshoots and filming…I never wanted to tire him out before the show or whatever. I haven’t even thought about it too much.”

“The rushing around is what makes it so good though. Tommy & I were like rabbits back in St. Louis. I don’t know what was in that water but shit got crazy.”

I nodded, thinking about everything my best friend was saying. “You might be right, Britt. Truly what am I doing if not the lead singer in the sleaziest band to walk this earth backstage? It’s a disgrace to their reputation, honestly.” I said, shaking my head.

“There you go!” She laughed. “Just because they’re getting older doesn’t mean we are too. We gotta keep them on their toes babe.”

“You always do make a good point Ms. Furlan-Lee.” I replied, and the two of us broke out into laughter. We stood outside scrolling through our phones and judging each other’s Instagram feeds for a few more minutes before we were finally joined by the men of the hour.

“Goodnight guys! See you on the next!” Nikki’s slightly raspy post-show voice called out. He was walking up with Courtney and a sleeping Ruby in tow on the way to their bus as well.

“See you dude!” An unmistakable voice yelled back, followed by the appearance of the lankiest guy of the bunch, still somehow with a single drumstick in hand.

Finally I caught a glimpse of my specific man of the hour, who had traded in the bright red glitter and leathers of his stage costume for a pair of camo shorts and a black tank top. His signature chain hung around his neck and for some reason he was also still adorning sunglasses at 1:30 in the morning.

“There you are.” I said smiling as he walked up.

“Hey lovey.” He said, wrapping me in a hug and pressing a short kiss to the top of my head.

“You tired?” I asked, still in his arms.

“Yeah I could sleep. Fuckin’ awesome show though. I still can’t believe how many people are actually showing up.”

I scoffed at his words. “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. This is literally the tour of the century. People are gonna be showing up for you guys forever.”

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Hopefully.”

He gave my back a quick rub before motioning for us to get on our bus so we could start off to the next city. As we got ready for bed, my conversation with Brittany played over and over in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right.

I just said it too– this is the tour of the fucking century. I need to start treating it like that for myself and my man. Tomorrow is a new day full of new experiences and new ideas and new desires. A million possible ways I could go about what I wanted to do swirled around in my brain, but as I settled under the covers of our shared bed in the back room, a lightbulb moment was had.

The next night began like every other after we arrived at the latest stadium and got everything settled. Crüe was closing the show tonight, which meant we all had more time to hang backstage. We were currently in an in-between period between Poison and Def Leppard, meaning there was about two hours until Crüe’s set. Vince was mostly ready to go, and was over in someone else’s room with the rest of the guys in the band hanging out and doing whatever other pre-show rituals they all partake in these days.

I was in his dressing room, putting last night’s ideas into action. I was nervous for a million different reasons; nervous he’d shun me off if there wasn’t enough time, nervous he’d think I was trying to act like some groupie on the Girls Girls Girls tour, nervous the idea my brain had conjured up was overstepping or I’d get in trouble with their stylist somehow. Lots of nerves. I just hoped Brittany’s advice was right to take for Vince and me.

After connecting my phone to the speaker and turning some music up decently loud, I began the action steps of my plan. I grabbed my tote bag and wandered into the bathroom. I took off the ripped blue jeans and tank top I had been sporting all day and opted for something more…(well technically, less) appropriate. I had dug out one of my red teddies from my luggage on the bus, a lacey number I knew was one of Vince’s favorites, and slipped it on in place of my clothes. I touched up my makeup that had begun to flake off over the course of the day, and ran a brush through my hair.

Once satisfied, I walked back out into the now much more noticeably cold air of the dressing room for the main operation.

There on a silver rack hung Vinnie’s most prized possession this tour– a floor length, silk piece of art hand painted with Japanese symbols in reds, golds, and royal blue covering the back. I ran my hands down the oversized sleeves as it hung there, looking like something that should’ve been in the MOMA rather than trekking around dingy baseball stadium hallways being diligently followed by a short woman with a portable steamer.

It had been almost a month of The Stadium Tour and I hadn’t dared to touch it, especially not after seeing how pissed off Vince got when someone (still a mystery who) stole his original show pants from backstage. Tonight was different though. I needed it to help me with the fantasy I had dreamed up after a middle-of-the-night conversation in a parking lot in Cleveland with my best friend.

I took a deep breath before carefully taking it off the hanger and placing it on me. My smaller frame was of course drowning in it, since the length and size was custom made for Vince. I tiptoed over to the full length mirror hanging on the wall, careful not to drag too much of it on the floor.

My eyes went wide as I took in the sight of myself. Bright red lace hugging my hips and chest perfectly, (the bodysuit had been a gift from Vince last Christmas, something that actually was custom made for my body’s measurements), with the iconic Wild Side performance look draped over my shoulders. I felt expensive– high class even, and now understood why Vince was always on such a high between the opening song and Shout at the Devil. This piece was enough to make anyone’s ego go through the roof.

I tied the kimono up in the front to conceal what lay underneath and took a deep breath before walking back over to sit on one of the couches. My back was facing the door, so the surprise wouldn’t be ruined when he came back in, which after seeing the clock turn to 6:39pm, realized should be almost any minute now.

I smoothed my hair over a few more times with my hand and picked at some stray nail polish that had chipped off onto my cuticles. My mind wandered to the endless amount of reactions he could have at the sight of me until they weren’t just fantasies anymore, but the real thing.

It took everything in me not to jump off the couch like some sort of rabid animal in anticipation when I heard the doorknob turn and the heavy door creak open.

“Hey baby, have you see my kim–”

The sentence died in his throat as I rose from the couch in the very article of clothing he was asking about not a second before. I smiled innocently up at him as his wide eyes looked me up and down.

I walked toward him, making a show of my bare legs peeking through the soft fabric with every stride forward. He bit his bottom lip when I placed my hands in his.

“This what you were looking for?” I offered, officially setting the backstage plan into motion.

“Oh yeah…” He trailed off, letting go of one of my hands so he could twirl me around. “Look at you baby doll.”

“I got you a present.” I said softly, after a moment. His eyebrows raised when I didn’t continue. Finally I walked backward a couple steps and held my arms out so the kimono’s tie was on display. “You have to unwrap it.”

He practically pounced on me the second the words exited my mouth. He pulled the silk fabric gently and the loose knot fell, allowing a glimpse of what was underneath to show through.

“You fuckin’ tease.” He said in a low voice, still smiling like a kid in a candy store. The plan was working.

His hand graced my shoulder as he pushed one arm of the robe off so it draped down my back. “You want something tonight, huh sugar?” He asked, pressing a short kiss to the underside of my jaw. My eyes fluttered closed at the touches, almost completely abandoning the act then and there. I did my best to stay strong.

“Don’t you have a show in an hour?” I teased, taking a small step back.

His face dropped. “Don’t you start. Those fuckers can wait.”

Before I knew it, I was being lifted up and carried towards the couch. He laid me down so my head was on the armrest as he hovered over me. I ran my hands up his tattooed arms as his lips pressed down onto mine.

He ran his hands over the red lace that clung to my skin and massaged my soft flesh underneath. The couch was beyond uncomfortable, but I found I didn’t care at all when Vince was touching me like this.

As we made out, his right hand snaked around my back to undo the thin fabric and pull it down my body. I started to slide the kimono off my shoulders to give him more access as well.

“No.” He said and put his hand on my arm. “Leave it on. My girl wants to play dirty tonight, right?”

I bit my lip and took a deep breath through my nose as I nodded in response.

“That’s what I thought. You want me to fuck you in this then wear it onstage in front of 40,000 people…is that it?” He whispered.

Any and all facade of confidence and calmness I previously had completely melted away at his words. Just the thought of him putting it back on later after these less than wholesome activities to go sing in front of a stadium full of unsuspecting fans had me shuddering in anticipation. He started kissing down my jaw and neck again until he reached my heaving chest.

“God I love these tits.” He spoke softly. “Especially when they’re filling out this outfit.” He trailed his hand over the kimono once again, down my curves until he reached the part of me dripping with need.

“You’re lucky I got an extra one of these baby…because you’re gonna be the fucking death of me.”

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ener-chi · 2 years

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Do you have any posts on astral projection? I've been trying to do it for years because I knew I could do it as a child. I remember hovering over my body in bed but I haven't been able to do it since. The most I get is the feeling of falling when I wake up. I can lucid dream though since I just started practicing the craft I'm looking to enhance that as well. I've tried everything for astral projecting though from guided meditations to binaural beats, and just trying it on my own using things like the rope technique but I always fall asleep. The farthest I've gotten was feeling the room spinning but I could never pop out. I've gotten into dragon magic and I world hop in my dreams so I would like to explore everything more and use astral projection to connect deeper with the dragons. Do you have any advice, tips, or books to recommend? Thank you!

Heya!

I think that the biggest tip I can give you is to not let your expectations block you. I've been interested in astral projection intermittently throughout my life, but I got really serious about doing it about 2018. I was trying and trying to do it like you are now, but... nothing.

But I realized something. Like everyone else does, I was expecting astral projection to be where I'm thrust out of my body and I have this hyper-real experience that is as real and vivid and lucid to me as waking life is.

And so, as I was going about trying these different methods and techniques, I realized that I was doing them with the goal of reaching this expected experience.

But I realized... I don't know what it feels like to astral project. I had absolutely no way of knowing what it could feel like, and that by me having this expectation, I was automatically stopping myself from experiencing whatever it could ACTUALLY be like.

And so, I let go of all expectations, and I decided to try some techniques, and instead of trying to force a certain experience, I just decided to just... see what happens. And I did. And it worked.

Except. I didn't Astral Project; I Astral Traveled.

What is the difference?

Astral Projection is what everyone thinks of, where you are thrust out of your body and you experience it as visceral and lucid as you do waking life.

With Astral Travel, your consciousness is not 100% out of your body, like you expect it would be with Projection. A part of your being/consciousness remains in your body, and it is nowhere near as lucid or visceral as astral projection would be - it feels similar to how dreaming or hyper-real daydreams would be like.

Despite not being the Golden Standard that astral projection is, astral travel is still real, and quite effective. Most of my practice is based on it, and I've had many verified, shared experiences with other practitioners.

But what about astral projection? Here's the thing - I've found that astral Projection is extremely difficult. To put it into perspective, I've been astral traveling regularly (basically every day) for the past couple of years now. I've only successfully astrally-projected a handful of times. It takes insane will, intense mindfulness, and it is a very intense experience. I haven't really done it enough to have much more to say on it, or to give tips. But suffice it to say that I, a seasoned astral-traveler and energy worker, find it very difficult to do.

So. My advice? Don't let your expectations block you from experiencing. And also, I recommend looking into astral travel, rather than into astral projection. I think that you'll find greater success with that than with projection - at least at first, anyways.

I do have quite a few resources. I have my technique for astral traveling, as well as some tips and tricks, which you can find here. I also have tagged quite a few posts on my blog. Posts about traveling can be found at #astral travel, and posts about projection can be found at #astral projection. Also, if you see the tag #astral, that's for pics and stuff that I find that remind me of the astral plane. Maybe you can find some inspiration to draw from there ((:

Also, one other tip. You said that you can lucid dream - it is possible to access the astral plane through lucid dreaming. While you are lucid, imagine the barrier between the dream-world and the astral plane (yes, there is one). Travel to it, then go through it. I have found that my most vivid astral travel experiences happen when I do this.

Thanks for the ask! I hope this helps!

Blessings!

#mine #asks #astral travel #astral projection #astral plane #witchcraft #witchblr #baby witch

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stringyworm · 28 days

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thinking about an oc kinda self insert because this oc is basically me but more designed to fit in the one piece universe to slash with kaku

like i fuckin love that boy i wanna hug him and take him away from cipher poll like my boi you can do better and ill make it so

its kinda evolved sorta written some parts but i dont wanna release it till its done incase i dont finish it…

i already have 2 unfinished ao3 fics on my account i dont need a third

theit backstory is tied with iceberg and franky’s cuz their mom was a work and business partner with tom and their family is just the two of them but theyre blacksmithers

like i know you need metalwork for some stuff on a ship and some ships have mini forges for fixing it up and u cant tell me the puffing tom wasnt created with some form of blacksmithing involved that wasnt just pure shipwrighting knowledge

i love blacksmiths if i was a fantasy character in a village i would be the blacksmitther or apprentice and become a journeymen to make my own practice or something if ur story has blacksmiths u can bet ur fucking bottom dollar im all for that shit and eating it the fuck up

anywyas yeah my oc is Wyn theyre a blacksmither born and raised on water7 grew up helping to build the puffing tom 17 when it was completed and yk shit happens. stays with iceberg to help build the city up and helps establish the metalworkers division in galley la but has their own shop cuz they like to work on their own stuff sometimes.

kaku and cp9 come in to infiltrate for the plans and kakus target is wyn because spandam suspects them to also know about the pluton plans. starts to work in the metalworkers divison to get closer to wyn because they still work eith galley la alot and in that division specifically (ofcourse)

and wyn is an honest type. wears their heart on their sleeve type whos easy with smiles and affection and yes charms kaku

its sorta angsty because he belongs to cp9 and cant have what he wants. planing to be slowburn

but all that blows up when enies lobby happens in canon and then at the end he runs away from cp9 and becomes the shipwright he always wanted to be (based on the drawing of him as a child happily holding a boat model) and they live happily ever after :) or whatever

thoughts? ill post snippets on here if people want or ill finally make a side blog for all my personal posts and one for reblogs instead of mixing them

#pgra2am but writing #pgra2am #one piece #kaku #one piece kaku

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puttlesculpts · 5 months

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Step 4: Boot plate/knee cap & Pants. Blender pt 3

The boots are done! Used a plane and extrusion to make the plate and the knee caps. Got to experiment with the Shade Smooth some more as I wanted to preserve a crisp line down the middle, but to be otherwise smooth everywhere else. The knee caps were more of an investment than was probably necessary and I was struggling to get the shape right, but decided I no longer cared about perfecting a detail that didn't really didn't need to be knocked out the park as far as 1:1 recreation goes, which freed me up to move on.

BUT before I did, I was looking up tricks to making belts/straps and discovered the world of Blender brushes! I will probably try to make my own belt, but also, I would like to get acquainted with this new tool. I'm actually very relieved since it looks like the surface brushes will go a long way in supplementing/finishing whatever I sculpt, since I currently lack the finesse to do it all on my own.

Speaking of fabric...

I started working on the pants! It was a very welcomed change of pace lol. I wasn't sure how to approach these since they would ultimately be one piece rather than two separate ones, so I did my best to build without modifiers and to mirror on the x-axis instead. It took some getting used to but I learned that things that aren't NEAR identical will simply not be mirrored in this way, but I was actually fine with that since I don't want these too be too symmetrical. I also thought about making the top + legs as separate pieces but ended up extruding it all :^) (thus successfully putting off learning how to smoothly merge two objects by at least 1 session).

I'm really happy with the progress so far, especially on the left leg where you can see the results of fabric/folds! This was another step I fully intended to do with epoxy after it was printed, but I started to experiment with things and I think it looks pretty good. I sampled what it would look like with smoothing and it wasn't GREAT, but definitely workable. So the plan now is to block in the major shapes, establish some weight on the fabric, and supplement texture + smaller creases + details with brushes down the line.

Week 1 recap: Three blog posts and three progress check-ins. I'm really enjoying this entire process so far and am pleasantly surprised by how much I am currently able to accomplish in a medium with a fairly difficult learning curve. All about baby steps at this point.

Up next: Finish the pants, then either gloves or straps!

#blender #sculpting #progress #i'm also using a tablet now and it's much better that the mouse lmoa #my fingers were getting so sore

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etes-secrecy-post · 5 months

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Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

#OnThisDay: Dec 14th, 2016

Title: Cuteness Girl Member - Claire

Here's another female (5th Harvey Beaks) character who joins the "Cuteness Defender Academy", and her name is "Claire". 🦊 And this ain't from the original customized mobile suit, these came from the customized Gunpla which is convert it to a "Cuteness Mecha Armor". 🤖😁

BTW: There's a line shadow behind her, something combining a mobile armor and herself into one. So maybe I'll be drawing for that by some other time. 😉

Amethyst Victory Claire Based on: LM312V04 Amethyst Victory Gundam [CLICK ME!]

Armament(s):

Beam Rifle • One of two handheld ranged weaponry used by the suit, it is the same beam rifle as the one used by the original Victory.

Beam Saber • A sword-like beam weapon that is used for close combat, the Amethyst Victory is equipped with four beam sabers stored in forearm recharge racks when not in use.

Beam Shield • The suit's main defensive equipment, a pair of beam shields are stored in the forearms. The beam shield generates a plane of energy similar to the blade of a beam saber, but uses it for blocking both beam and projectile weapons.

Beam Smart Gun • The other handheld ranged weaponry used by the suit, it is a high-powered beam rifle and the same weapon as the one used by the V-Dash.

MMI-710 "Excalibur" Anti-ship Laser Sword • The Amethyst Victory Claire's main close combat weapons, the anti-ship laser swords are large physical swords with a laser blade along their cutting edge and are effective in cutting up ships and mobile suits. A pair of these swords are stored on the β Sword Silhouette Pack, and they can be joined at their hilts to form a large dual-bladed ambidextrous form.

RQM60 "Flash-Edge" Beam Boomerang • Stored on the β Sword Silhouette Pack on the suit's back, the pair of beam boomerangs are throwing weapons that emits a short beam blade on one end, and can return to the owner after throwing, often catching enemy units by surprise.

Special Feature(s):

Hardpoints • An attachment point for weapons, shields, spare ammunition, or optional mission-specific equipment. Hardpoints can also be used to store carried weapons when a mobile suit needs its manipulators free for other purposes. The LM312V04 Amethyst Victory is equipped with eight hardpoints, four on the arms, and two each on the side skirt armor and legs.

Claire - Harvey Beaks © Nickelodeon Armor (Gundam Build Fighters Try) - Gundam series © Bandai Namco Filmworks, Inc. (SUNRISE), Sotsu

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ghostlytalkin · 7 months

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I want to be super clear, and because this deals with my attempt and some pretty dark ass stuff regarding MYSELF I am going to put it under read more, nobody is obligated to read it but to clarify for probably more my sanity. But I ask that please don't go to others blaming them for what I tried to do. I took things that was said and let it swallow me instead of ignoring them like I would do towards a lot of people. This being said, here is a crazy long message.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

suicide attempt, medications, hospitals, stalking, death threats, police {briefly}, long ass post

I am not going to blame ANYBODY but myself for my attempt at suicide. I suffer greatly from suicidal idealization and the idea of dying before getting old. I suffer from depression and my therapist and I are working to narrow down the type of depression I have because it acts like the tide changes and they do not want to give a automatic diagnosis. I also deal with minor obsessions and hyperfixations which we're working on.

I did spend some time under suicide watch in the hospital. I had my sister checking up on me through my nurses, who were super nice and one let me talk her ear off for nearly fifteen minutes before my meds kicked in and I passed the fuck out. I have been going through the motions of anti depressant medication and tbh I kinda hate them because of how tired they make me. But I am still taking them because everybody has told me that it takes time to adjust and my therapist said that it cane take a bit for your body to adjust. Plus I have insomnia and so the sleep I guess is needed because I've sleep deprived myself for years and worked on only 1-4 hours of sleep since I was in middle school.

I know I said that rpcvent outed me, but it was pointed out I had an earlier post where I put that I was evie/eevee. I honestly forgot about it and thought people pieced it together from rps I've mentioned having been in. That is on me. Even if I don't agree with rpcvent on things everybody has their own opinions and it is whatever.

I am getting help, I have decided to put this blog on pause for myself except for 1 day a week I will put things in the queue to run for the other 6 days. I will be having my inbox open for others to still come to if they choose, nobody is obligated to come to my inbox. But my inbox will be monitored by another so if death threats start coming in the inbox will be closed again. This is not up for debate and my person monitoring my blog will delete anon hate directed at me.

If anybody wants to be respectful and be like "hey this thing that you did had hurt me/a friend/somebody I know." I am open to it and bringing it to my therapist to find a corrective action on how to change and do better. I will also apologize. I never intended to cause people harm, more like call out their behaviors after they'd been talked to. I want to be better and do better and not having been told before I was causing issues I had no idea. I want to do better and make sure I am not that person.

For the people who were saying I was online while I was away and reporting it to other blogs

Please, don't monitor somebody's online status like that. For me personally it triggered my ptsd. I spent the last 6 years with an online stalker in the witch community who would monitor when I was online to try and narrow down my timezone to then would start asking my friends where I lived. They used multiple accounts to try and find out and get close to me under fake names. It got to the point where police were involved because they told people they had found out the area I lived at the time in Oregon and had gotten a plane ticket to come find me and kill me. And this all started because they were watching for me being online.

I am a pretty guarded person because I am scared of that happening again. I was almost doxxed three times, twice to this kind of person. It got so bad that police both in my state and their state was involved and it was confirmed they did have a plane ticket to Oregon. On discord I have a constant status of being idle, sometimes I will switch it to DND if I will be away longer than a few hours and forget about it, and it's because of this situation. I have a protective order against my stalker and charges had been pressed for telephonic harassment {which sounds fake and I thought it was fake until the officer I was working with showed me it was a real thing}.

And I'm sure somebody will run to tell this to other blogs, fine. Yeah I was stalked for SIX years. But what did I do? I told them I could no longer help with a situation I won't get into detail about and other people started to talk about how creepy stalker was and they said it was me telling people. That is the jist of it because frankly that situation has been dead to me and I've been trying to live my life despite my stalker persisting up until two weeks ago.

Please don't just monitor somebody's online status just to report it to others. That's really uncomfortable.

AS FAR AS THIS BLOG:

I will leave it up. There is two call outs that need to be up for others. This being the Elysium items, which was requested that I reblog and leave open for everybody so they can always have the receipts of behaviors and that of Cody because I've also been asked as he still is not taking accountability for his behaviors towards women and those who look feminin.

I will be doing more research before I post things, I'll look into whatever you guys send me or I will continue to ask for proof. Again, no proof sent will be posted without permission unless it is proof I personally found and posted. I want to do better, so I will make myself more informed.

I'm not going to join rps though to find things, that's weird and I think would be suspicious and I am not comfortable with doing that. What other people do and then send to me is on them. But right now I will be only answering things one day a week and will converse with my therapist regarding things because it's important to monitor. I'll be taking the rest of this week and next week off to allow myself a break and have time to further process and heal for myself for what I've done.

Thank you for reading this if you did. I am apologetic for the hurt that I have caused and I hope y'all have a lovely day.

#personal #suicide tw #death threats tw #tw stalking #hospitals tw #medications tw #stalking cw #suicide attempt tw #mental illness #mental illness tw #depression tw #long post

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wellthatwasaletdown · 10 months

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Which is ridiculous because she was literally with him in Vienna and Barcelona, and then he flew her back to London so she could work. What exactly are they celebrating? // Oh my God, you know what I liked you and your blog, but I realized that you don't know anything and you creating scenarios based on rumors. How do you know HE flew her back to London. You really wanna believe that he's dating that girl and cheating on her at the same time. We don't know ANYTHING about their situationship, but yeah, creating fake scenarios in heads instead of real work in real life. Sometimes you sound like this chick from Deuxmoi.

I honestly don't care, but let's play.

What exactly am I making up?

She was with him on two the tour stops:

Vienna:

Barcelona:

The stalkers said that they tracked his plane back to London earlier this week. Who do you think was on it? She was with him in Barcelona, and now she's not. That's not making things up. It is using common sense based on the information available.

I have said over and over that we don't know how serious whatever this relationship is. Y'all are the one ls freaking out any time her name even appears next to his.

This blog is a very small part of my life. I work every single day and spend time with my family and friends, but, if you're going to get this angry over a post by someone on the internet, maybe you need to step away from your computer/phone and interact with the real world for a while. No one is forcing you to be here.

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sabakos · 1 year

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I posted 4,055 times in 2022

That's 4,055 more posts than 2021!

929 posts created (23%)

3,126 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@triviallytrue

@nostalgebraist-autoresponder

@sabakos

@lumsel

@the-real-numbers

I tagged 1,579 of my posts in 2022

#laugh rule - 102 posts

#q - 99 posts

#postpostmodern love story - 64 posts

#personal - 50 posts

#same as it ever was - 38 posts

#mine - 34 posts

#endorsed - 33 posts

#yeah - 30 posts

#hegelposting - 26 posts

#posting - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#if you aren't comfortable appropriating from a *closed* religion or arguing whether mohammad was a femboy you aren't approaching it safely

My Top Posts in 2022:

There was a junior who lived on our floor freshman year. His housing got messed up? I don't know. He only ever wore boxers inside the dorm, but nobody really seemed to have a problem with that. I saw him once in the Comp Sci building wearing actual clothing and barely recognized him. Our RA dropped out a couple weeks into the year so he taught all of us freshman what rules we could break, sometimes bought us alcohol, helped us with random college shit, etc. Chill guy.

One night in the middle of a huge rainstorm I ran into him in the hall as he was headed out, (only wearing his boxers, as per usual), and he invited me to join him. I figured he was going out to smoke or something, yeah sure, whatever, I'll hang out. But once we got outside, he stood out away from the building in the rain, looked up at the sky and screamed at the top of his lungs like an animal. But the sound went... nowhere. He suggested I try. so I did. We both screamed at the sky for a bit. My clothes were drenched. He told me he did that every time it rained like that. I never saw him do it ever again.

I have no idea what was up with him, exactly, but he clearly had something figured out.

622 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Professional sports without sexual tension isn't any interesting, it's why they invented sports anime. But cartoons aren't enough. To revive a dying, over-leveraged institution after inevitably collapses along with the coming burst of advertising bubble I propose that all sports allow the players to fuck each other to strengthen their warrior bonds and cause better interpersonal drama. Also if the straight people are having too much trouble we can gender desegregate everything while we're at it, and unban all performance enhancing drugs because the rules for that were stupid and its all just cope anyway. Every sports gym locker room should look like Starship Troopers. This solves every problem with sports and all of the new ones it creates are just further marketing opportunities.

655 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

The media sure is an institution.

935 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Complaining that you have a biological disadvantage in sports is never as much fun as finding new sports that you are better at than everyone else. Like how gamers invented e-sports. or the bourgeoisie invented golf. or rednecks invented "drive car fast in a circle."

You have to take a solutions-oriented approach to your problems instead of complaining about how other people are better than you.

2,652 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You probably don't know another language if you live in the United States and both you and your parents were born here unless you go out of your way to learn it. This is a problem of geography more than it is a moral failing because if you are an American, then learning another language is not immediately useful to you. This is because your options in school are as follows:

Spanish: Second most common language in America. Most people who speak it also speak English and will look at you funny if you know Spanish and will not appreciate you being able to eavesdrop on their conversations. But, it's the only non-English language with an appreciable population of native speakers that you can encounter without getting on a plane. However in all likelihood you will probably be taught by a non-native speaker who could not pass an A1 exam and you will learn no Spanish just the same as everyone else.

French: The only French speakers in North America probably don't want to talk to you ever, and if you speak non-Quebecois French at them they really won't want to. You are probably going to major in literary studies and spend the rest of your life pretending to read books no one else actually reads. You have opinions on Freud and Lacan.

German: No one in North America speaks German as their primary language. It's really only useful if you like philosophy or World War II history or want to move to Germany. You probably really like beer and will study abroad and be really annoying about it afterward. But most Germans you are likely to meet outside of Germany speak English somewhat well so you aren't really doing anything for yourself? So most people will also think you're a Wehraboo or worse unless you are Jewish.

Russian: You already speak Russian or another Slavic language at home and will insist that you do not up until the first day of class, when you and all of your classmates will spend the entire time gossiping with the professor in Russian. The few American kids will hang out in the back and probably talk about Dostoevsky and drink vodka out of their water bottles. Everyone will get an A and no one will learn anything new.

Mandarin Chinese: You (or more likely your parents) think "we'll all be speaking Chinese in twenty years" and so you want to get a head start. This attitude self-selects against people who will ever need to know Mandarin. You probably idolize Ezra Pound and use phrases like "command economy" unironically. Every single person from China who has ever met you hates your guts.

Japanese: You are a weeb. All of your classmates are weebs. Your professor may or may not be a weeb, but wants to die regardless. You'll probably give up halfway through the first semester along with the most annoying 80% of the class and switch to Spanish once you realize how hard it is to learn Japanese.

Korean or Arabic: Congratulations on your new job at [redacted]!

Pashto or Urdu or Farsi: Congratulations on your new job at [redacted], but also I really doubt you are supposed to be telling anyone that you are learning this language. Good luck on your future job search.

Navajo: Most Navajo people don't speak any Navajo and unless you live in New Mexico you will literally never meet someone who is Navajo. They don't want to talk to you anyway. I don't think many people ever even try to learn this, this is solely on this list because I've seen insane but clueless Europeans try to guilt Americans for not learning it for some incomprehensible reason.

Latin: Latin is a dead language. I'm sure you are tired of hearing about that by now, which is why I reminded you about it. Even Catholics will make fun of you now for learning this. Your parents probably want you to be a doctor, and will stop talking to you when you drop out of med school. Or maybe you're a classics student who will spend the rest of your life incorrecting historians about pissing contests no one cared about anyway. Go forge a historical demonology book or get off to a picture of Thomas Aquinas or Cicero or something, I don't know.

Ancient Greek: Oh, are you a theology student or something learning Biblical Koine? The Evangelical Christians don't care what the bible actu- ...No? You're learning Attic Greek? And you're not like, a linguistics or classics major or something, you chose to do this specifically. Hey, uh, are you doing anything later? Or right now, even?

3,283 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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morganofthewildfire · 1 year

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I posted 3,384 times in 2022

757 posts created (22%)

2,627 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@morganofthewildfire

@leiawritesstories

@rowanaelinn

@tomtenadia

@writtenonreceipts

I tagged 772 of my posts in 2022

#ask - 315 posts

#stt - 181 posts

#rowaelin - 146 posts

#rowaelin fanfiction - 127 posts

#throne of glass fanfiction - 125 posts

#throne of glass - 123 posts

#rowaelin au - 119 posts

#throne of glass au - 113 posts

#rowan x aelin - 76 posts

#morning reblog! - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#i almost had to pay for a textbook i already have but i managed to work around it cause that would be an extra $80

My Top Posts in 2022:

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Love Left Behind

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~ 17k words

CW: lots of cursing, mentions of death, brief mentions of domestic violence, NSFW

It's finally finished!!!

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Winter had a peculiar way of bringing up things you’d buried deep down. Maybe it was the snow, that new layer of powdery white melting and sprouting new life, the picture of rejuvenation. Maybe it was the chill in the air, guiding you to cuddle close and open your hearts to keep yourself warm. Or maybe it was the way the season brought out that deep instinctual urge to be with the ones you love.

Even if the ones you love are the very things you’ve tried to forget.

Aelin Galathynius had never liked the winter. She was a summer child, with a heart of fire and eyes full of sunlight, prancing around her family’s estate until the sun went down, going to sleep and starting all over again the next day.

When she was younger, the winter had been a time of innocent boredom, of complaining about the inches of snow keeping her from climbing trees and racing around with her cousin. Now that she was older, the winter was a time of loss, of death, of suffocation. It’d been good for a few years, and now everything she’d ever loved about it was gone.

Maybe that’s why she’d run from the city she’d grown up in, chasing the promise of forgetting to a new city, a new country, a new world. Rifthold never snowed. It’s constant heat promised constant life, constant freedom. And the world of film promised constant distraction, an easy way to be anyone but herself.

Aelin hadn’t wanted to be herself in a while.

It hadn’t necessarily been her goal to get famous, but now, she faced suffocation in a different way. Constant paparazzi, constant judgment, the constant pressure to be what everyone wanted her to be. To be the girl. The star.

And she was. And she’d promised to never go back to Orynth, to where everything had gone so horribly wrong.

But then one phone call changed everything.

Now Aelin was on her private jet, heading back to the one place she’d never wanted to be again.

It was snowing already, even though it was still early in the season, and as the plane landed and she stepped into the icy cold, she took it as an omen for how this trip was going to go.

Nothing good ever happened when it snowed. Aelin had no reason to think that would change.

Bundled up in her designer coat, paired with her slightly impractical heeled boots and tights, she strolled down to the car waiting for her. She could’ve gotten a limo, she could’ve gotten a scary looking black sedan, she could’ve paid for whatever car she wanted. But instead, it was her cousin picking her up.

Luckily, the paparazzi hadn’t been able to track where she was going, so the runway was eerily silent as she walked over to the car door. Aedion was in his beat up old pick up truck, and she would’ve laughed at the clear difference between her expensive and clean cut self and the dirty, rugged method of transport.

She would’ve laughed, if she wasn’t doing everything she could to keep herself together at the thought of driving in the snow.

“Hey, Ace,” Aedion said, smiling tightly as she slid into the seat, slamming the passenger door shut behind her. Her personal assistant, Lysandra, had wanted to come with her, but Aelin knew this was something she needed to do by herself.

It wasn’t anything too momentous, or it shouldn’t be, but to her it was everything.

Selling her parents’ old cabin up in the mountain; it was a part of life, it wasn’t a big deal. She’d never liked visiting there anyway. But now that they were gone, it just felt like another piece of them she was going to forget.

“Hey,” she said tightly, pulling her designer bag off her shoulder and setting it primly in her lap. “Are you ready for this?” Her cousin raised a golden brow, looking out the front window as he put the car in drive.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He questioned, pressing down the gas and zooming down the road to leave the private airport. Aelin tensed, her whole body locking up, her fingers digging into the patent leather of her bag. He seemed to notice because he slowed down, taking the drive easy instead of driving simply to get to the destination. His mouth tightened.

“How’s Rifthold treating you?” He asked blandly, one hand drumming on the steering wheel while the other fiddled with the radio. She hated this awkwardness, this coldness that so resembled the frozen world around them, but it was her fault really. She hadn’t stayed in touch for long when she left Orynth. Just enough to get the major updates about their lives, everyone she’d left behind.

She was famous enough that they just needed to open twitter to know what was going on with her, something she was still getting used to.

It’d all happened so quickly, she hadn’t had a chance to breathe.

See the full post

164 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

Same Time Thursday - Part 14

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Masterlist

CW: depictions of depression, depictions of abuse, depictions of self harm, some violence, cursing

Aelins... having a rough go of it

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Her bare feet padded against the authentic dark oak wood floor, making no sound as she moved. She had no destination in mind, no direction for her legs to take her. She felt like a ghost, wandering these dark halls like she was searching for something long gone.

She wasn’t searching for anything though, except maybe something to search for. One hand clutching her silk robe together, not feeling the heat of the summer that permeated through the walls and into the lavish mansion. Even at night, there was no escaping it.

Her other hand was tucked in itself, one of her nails scratching against her palm. It was an unconscious tick now; it started as her finger repeatedly brushing the scar now adorning the middle of her palm, from the time that finally sent her to the emergency room under the guise of an accident, and over the days it’d resorted to scratching, as if she could take ownership of the pain being forced on her. She was in control of this pain.

It was never deep enough to draw blood, but it was uncomfortable, which was all she needed.

Aelin hadn’t been able to sleep, so instead of laying there, buried in thick blankets, she decided to get up. Arobynn wasn’t in bed yet, so he couldn’t get mad at her doing the same, right?

She scratched at her hand as she trailed down the hallway. Her face was empty, her eyes empty too when she looked in the mirror hung on the wall. Sometimes emptiness could look like innocence, but to her it just looked like heaviness. He’d finally accomplished what he wanted; she looked much older than nineteen.

She looked away, continuing her mindless trek. Her eyes glazed over even more as she passed each room: the game room that was never used, the exercise room that was never used, the library that she did use, and a million other rooms that were there for the look of it and not for the actual function. And this was only the second floor of this wing, and not even the second floor of the guest wing. That was everything all over again.

Her feet reached the top of the staircase, hovering along the edge of the first step. The stairs were marble, and she was always half afraid she’d slip and fall, rolling down until she landed on the ground floor with a dramatic flop. But she also knew she was much more likely to be pushed.

She took a step down, the marble cold on her bare skin, and then she took another step, and another, until she was down at the bottom, stepping onto the ground floor. Arobynn favored clean lines, and harsh steel, and dark furniture. Most everything was some shade of grey, and in the dim lights of the night, it looked almost black. She used to admire the artisticness and the excess of it all, but now it just felt stark and unwelcoming.

An icy cage.

She kept walking, moving through the grand foyer and down through the living room, passing like a wraith through a misty field. Walking always soothed her; it was better than just sitting there staring at nothing, wondering if there was anything left worth caring about.

She scratched at her hand again.

Aelin passed the living room and the excessively large kitchen that was barely used, as his personal chef had a separate kitchen in a different wing, and trailed down the hallway toward the sitting room. Maybe she could lay on the couch in there, maybe she could curl up and try to get some sleep on this damned night.

But as she walked, her steps as silent as a graveyard, she heard faint voices. They were coming from the office, and she recognized one of them as Arobynn of course, but the other took her a second to place. Tern maybe? His coworker. He came over for dinner every now and then, and she’d be kicked out of the room, left to eat her food in whatever hole of the house she found herself in. Or didn’t eat her food more like it.

They’d been married for nine months, and she’d lost about twenty five pounds over that span.

She felt hollow, like she was rotting from the inside out. Or maybe the outside in. She hadn’t left the house in months so it wasn’t like there was anyone to help her. No. She would just flit around this great, big, empty house until she became a part of it forever. Maybe she’d haunt it in a hundred years for the next unsuspecting girl who got pulled into something she didn’t understand.

Aelin unconsciously trailed toward the voices, hooking onto that tiny glimpse of curiosity in her. A low lamp guided the way, until she was hovering outside Arobynn’s office, peering through the cracked door. Tern looked upset, raging around like a caged animal, but her husband was sitting at his desk unruffled, a cool mask on his face.

“The complaints are gaining momentum again,” Tern was saying, his voice rough like he was trying to make Arobynn understand. “There’s only so much ignoring we can do before it turns into something we can’t stop. It’s twice the number of employees now.”

Arobynn leaned back in his chair, his hands crossed in the picture of casualty. “They’re simply adjusting to the new workload. It’s only natural there be some - discontent.”

“Discontent? This is practically a full blown strike!” Tern argued, and Aelin’s face fell into an expression of shock. Both at the news and at the tone of voice. Arguing with him? That didn’t bode well for anyone.

“Interesting,” Arobynn said, and she recognized his dry tone as slipping into anger.

“What is?” Tern asked, his voice reasonably hesitant. He paused his pacing to stand still in front of the desk, almost blocking her view.

“That you think I don’t understand the workings of my own company,” he said, his eyes narrowing into a deadly glare. “That I don’t have complete control over the situation.”

Tern started to bluster an apology, sensing the change in tension, and Aelin tried to strain to listen. To her detriment. Because as she scooted closer, exposing more of herself through the crack in the door, Arobynn’s eyes darted right toward it.

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173 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Same Time Thursday part 13

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~5.3k words

CW: depictions of abuse, depictions of depression, language

WOOO! It's finally here!! It's been a long time coming lol, hopefully part 14 doesn't take as long!

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Rowan was waiting outside his apartment door by the time she walked over there, his face looking grave. Elia was tucked in her arm, but immediately fussed until Aelin had to pass her over to him. He took her gently, painting on a smile to greet her before looking back up at Aelin, his expression reverting back to seriousness.

“What happened?” She asked, glancing past him at the dark green front door. Worry was gnawing at her gut. “What do I need to see?”

He just sighed, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them again. “Just come inside.”

Aelin followed him, albeit with a bit of trepidation, but she had no choice really. He was taking Elia in, and she’d follow her anywhere. Not that she didn’t trust Rowan; it was just instinct.

It was an older apartment, and the wood floor creaked as she crossed the threshold. But she didn’t notice that, not as her eyes traced over the rest of the space, widening in utter horror.

It was completely trashed. All of it.

She was in the living room, and the couch cushions were ripped up and thrown all over the floor, the tv lay shattered across the carpet. Books were strewn off the shelves and the shelves themselves knocked over too.

Rowan stayed there as she wandered into the kitchen, stepping carefully over shattered glass and ceramic. The cabinets were all wide open with plates and dishes haphazardly spilled all over the place.

It would’ve been a nice place if not for the mess.

“Where’s Lorcan?” Aelin asked tightly, speaking the only words she thought she could say.

“Out on the balcony, calling the police,” Rowan answered, gesturing with his head. She followed the movement with her eyes and sure enough, there was the tall man, speaking angrily to someone on the other end of the phone.

“So someone broke in?” She asked, a lump forming in her throat as she tried to avoid the truth. “A thief maybe?”

She cautiously looked over at Rowan, her boyfriend, her brain added unhelpfully, seeing the truth in his eyes. No, it wasn’t a thief.

“Lorcan’s room isn’t touched,” he said, “but go look in mine.” Aelin followed his gesture to the door on the left side of the hallway, each footstep measured as she walked toward it. The door was half open, a chunk of the wood missing, so it was easy to push open as she stepped inside.

And her blood ran cold.

Her breaths were short as her eyes traced the room again. The dark green comforter was torn and tossed off the bed, the contents of his dresser sprawled all over the rug, his desk was upturned and in shambles. And on his nice grey-blue painted walls, were the words-

STAY AWAY OR YOU’LL END UP LIKE THIS

Below it was a crudely drawn image of a decapitated body, with blood spilling out of it and exes over the eyes. It was the lack of skill of a child mixed with the gruesomeness of someone far from innocent, and despite her thick layers of clothing, she trembled.

It was all made worse by the fact that the medium looked like actual blood, the dripping red substance thicker and darker than paint.

“That fucking asshole,” she breathed, unable to tear her eyes away. Rowan let out a humorless laugh.

“That’s one word for it,” he said drily, and Aelin didn’t dare turn to look at him, to see his reaction to what she’d brought down on him.

“Rowan!” Lorcan suddenly called out, giving her a reprieve, and she turned just as Rowan leaned against the doorframe to look out into the hallway, Elia perched in his arms.

“The police are on their way,” Lorcan added, and then a pause before, “When did she get here?”

Aelin walked over then, maneuvering around the destroyed bedroom to peek around Rowan and wave a small greeting at the tall man. “We just got here,” she said, and he nodded at her, his face grave.

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174 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

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But Who Could Stay?

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Rowaelin Month Day 1: Song Fic

based on The Archer by Taylor Swift

~ 27k words

an: I am immensely proud of this, and I have put so much work into this one, I really hope you all like it; it was born out of my obsession with the archer but has turned into something of its own; I'm a bit nervous sharing it, but I'm happy with how it turned out, so I hope you all enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it

CW: cursing, angst, depictions of an eating disorder, mentions of sexual assault, very brief depiction of attempted sexual assault, NSFW

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Who could ever leave me darling?

But who could stay?

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Aelin woke up that morning to the sound of classical piano blaring in her ears. It was the opening chords of the Stygian Suite, which meant she was just on time as she sat up, lifting up her eye mask and turning to switch off the alarm.

With a graceful yawn, she pulled back her silk sheets, standing out of bed to stretch as the first reaches of sunlight seeped in through the light blue curtains.

5:30 am, bright and early. It was the time she woke up every day, just to get a jump start before her schedule caught up with her.

Efficiently, she made her bed, tucking the fluffy white comforter nicely underneath her pillows before heading into the bathroom. In there, her face highlighted by the lights around the large mirror, she combed and clipped her hair up, with a towel headband to keep any stray pieces back. Turning on the faucet to let the water warm up, Aelin went and grabbed her silk robe, sliding it on over her silk pajamas, the luxurious fabric caressing her skin.

Then she went back to the sink, splashing her face with water and using her expensive face wash to start the day fresh. After the face wash, she applied her bottle of toner to her skin carefully, before layering it on with a few of her favorite serums, finishing the routine off with her moisturizer and of course, sunscreen, to keep her skin youthful and glowing.

Then she took off the headband, but left the clip in, traveling out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, turning on her fancy coffee machine. After hitting a few buttons, her coffee was brewing, espresso and steamed milk spilling out of it to make a delicious latte.

While that was brewing, Aelin padded over to the floor to ceiling windows, pulling open the curtains to reveal the city skyline below, already bustling at the early hour. Rifthold was a huge city, there was always something going on. She relished in the chaos of it all, it kept the chaos in her own mind at bay.

It was only when she was sitting down on her plush couch with her coffee and her small bowl of yogurt that she finally looked at her phone.

6 am. She’d made good time.

If she ate her breakfast and drank her coffee in the next fifteen minutes, then she’d have another fifteen to get changed before starting her morning workout. Not to be confused with her evening workout of course. Morning was cardio, while evening was all toning.

None of her friends were awake at this hour, so there weren’t any text notifications, but the fashion world was 24/7, so she had multiple emails in her inbox, essentially detailing her itinerary for the next month.

After transferring all of her shoots and runways, as well as her meetings, into her calendar, Aelin uncurled herself from the couch, abandoning her half eaten yogurt on the counter before going into her bedroom to change.

Within half an hour, she was sweating as she nearly sprinted on the treadmill. Her legs and her lungs were burning as she ran, crossing the mile mark at a record speed for her. It was one of her favorite parts of the day, to let loose all of her stress through pure sweat.

But as she was crossing the second mile, her phone rang and she was forced to slow her pace down to a gentle jog as she answered it and put it on speaker, hearing Lysandra’s tired voice yawn through the line.

“Good morning, bitch,” her best friend said affectionately, and Aelin chuckled, still breathing heavily as she exercised.

“Good morning,” she replied, “you’re up early.”

“And what?” Lysandra said, “you’ve been up for an hour already, haven’t you.” Aelin laughed again, wiping at some stray sweat.

“An hour and a half,” she admitted, hearing her friend snort through the phone.

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183 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Attention Throne of Glass Fandom!!!

I have compiled a masterlist of every rowaelin fic on tumblr!!!

Link Here

This may not be a completely exhaustive list, as I'm only a human, so if you notice any of yours are in the wrong spot, or are missing, or if you know of one that's not on there, please let me know!!!

The categories are a bit arbitrary, and I did my best to divide it up and categorize them based on my own knowledge of the fics, so I will completely take recommendations on adjusting things or moving things around!

And note: this is a rowaelin list only, so anything that features another couple as the main couple or doesn't have rowaelin as the only main couple, I didn't include it, simply so that I could keep the lines clear and make this just a rowaelin list.

I'm going to be tinkering with it over the next few days, as it's really late here and I know already that I've messed some things up, but I'm tired lol, this took me a really damn long time.

I just know tumblr can be difficult to navigate sometimes and I wanted to create a resource that was easy for people to find new fics and new writers, and just try to expand the fandom a little more!!!

Let me know if you have any questions!

470 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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