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#(which is a whole other annoying issue that deserves its own post)
waterberry-strawmelon · 7 months
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i know a thousand other people have said this already, but im so tired of the fact that people just dont write good fanfiction about female characters or female relationships. all the 100k-word epics on ao3 are about m/m or m/f pairings, and i just mourn for all the life-changing stories we could have about female characters, the ones that fundamentally re-frame your way of thinking, the ones where the romance is slow burn that's hot and heavy and so, so achingly intimate that the page is bleeding with it.
where are those stories?
#and it's not just because there are more male characters in fictional media#it's mostly because we all care about men more#because a m/m pairing between two male background or side characters from a popular show will have AT LEAST QUADRUPLE the amount of content#than the content for a f/f ship between MAIN CAST members from that same show.#it just fucking sucks. and i wish i could change it.#it's not always enough to just write it yourself yknow?#thats not really the solution here#it would require a massive restructuring in how we prioritize female characters#especially in order to prioritize them separate from male characters.#the majority of shows or fandoms where a female main cast member is popular? their number one ship in fandom is with a male character.#can't escape it man :(#mine#fandom#i feel like we just dont like dedicating that much time to thinking about women—even fictional women.#it's not as fun or as interesting as thinking about men. and why is that hm?#i cant change what people like to write#but its always so devastating when i see an author who writes really really well#just stick to m/m stories. and theyre fantastic!! but id love to see what those writers could do with female characters too.#an account with like 8 different 50k fics about the same m/m pairing. AND while often writing a f/f pairing as a background pairing#(which is a whole other annoying issue that deserves its own post)#it just makes it even sadder that they dont dedicate that same energy toward imagining what it might look like for that background f/f#pairing to have a story of their own with just as much love and care.#(AND LIKE. YOU CANT EVEN TELL ME ITS JUST CUZ THE CHARACTERS ARE CHARACTERIZED DIFFERENTLY#LIKE TO SAY THAT THE F/F PAIRING JUST WOULDNT BE AS INTERESTING BECAUSE THEYRE MORE STABLE OR NORMAL OR NOT AS CODEPENDENT OR SOME SHIT#LIKE NOT ONLY IS THAT JUST SEXIST. IT'S ALSO HYPOCRITICAL#'CAUSE YOU'RE OUT HERE GIVING WHOLE NEW FANON PERSONALITIES TO THESE MALE CHARACTERS#FUCKING. STEVE HARRINGOTN AND EDDIE MUNSON FROM STRANGER THINGS WOULD NOT IN A MILLION YEARS DATE IN THE SHOW.#SO TO WRITE SOLID FANFICTION WITH GOOD CHEMISTRY YOURE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR PERSONALITIES A BIT.#AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING!!! BUT IT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU JUST...DON'T PUT AS MUCH EFFORT#INTO THE FEMALE CHARACTERS. JUST CUZ YOU DON'T LIKE THEM AS MUCH.
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tortillasconsal · 1 year
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Headcanons for Splendorman that I didn't get to put in my last post bc I didn't know where
Here we go:
He has a whispy voice with a slightly high pitch that softens when talking with children, but he easily turns low and direct when he's tired or upset.
He has a pretty theatrical talk, as if he's making a whole circus performance, though he usually sounds very disconnected from the people he's engaging with, as if he's daydreaming or in his own world.
Voice headcanons: Johnny Deph's Willy Wonka and Mad Hatter, and Tim Curry's lower pitch when tired/upset.
Splendor is probably the only faceless person who might be interested in having a relationship.
And I mean might because he doesn't really yearn for one, he's just open to the idea. But so far no one has caught his attention, there ain't many creatures who make the cut for a century-old cryptid's love interest anyway.
Even though he acts very upbeat and happy he's usually very tired when he's done for the day (which is almost never), taking care of many children and acting as a therapist for many people is draining, especially when you have none to talk to or hang out with.
He actually has a lot of pressure bc he feels like he needs to put on a happy face and a good performance for the sake of the people. He doesn't trust anyone else to do what he does or help him so he forces himself to bear that baggage alone. And since he doesn't have anyone for him and refuses to be vulnerable with his family he usually ignores those feelings or hides away.
Despite his fame of being the most emotional it is very rare to catch him crying.
It is unkown where he got his anger issues from. They know that he started showing symptoms since young, but nobody knows why.
Maybe is because he usually bottles up his emotions, maybe it's all the resentment he holds, maybe he got them from one of his parents or maybe they're the results of how he was raised.
His family speculates its the Faceless' "true nature" he's been holding back all this time, like a bomb. Which is not true.
They believe they are naturally evil beings, but that's because they've spent all their lives consuming toxic emotions and getting consumed by them they just think that's how it is.
I really get a lot of Will Wood vibes from him. Like as a fun guy that may or may not be a little messed up who has a level of deph and feelings he's not sure how to adress so he may look like he's deliring sometimes or he's speaking from the heart but not making sense other times.
His song? Dr. Sunshine by Will Wood
I mean, its even in the name.
He has complicated feelings about the proxies and the residents of Slenderman's mansion. On one hand he feels for them and wishes he could get them out of his brother's grip, on the other he knows they're bad people –maybe as bad as his family– and doesn't think they deserve another chance.
But in any way he doesn't trust any of them near the kids he takes care of.
Same with his brother. He loves Slenderman so much, but its really hard to see his little brother torturing people for whatever reason and acting very condescending towards him. He's still able to put his foot down when necesary, though it always comes back to zero.
Splendorman does not like Laughing Jack. Like- at all. They both constanty brawl over the children and Jack sometimes manages to sneak in Splendor's domain which angers him even more because nobody's supposed to do that.
Now. Laughing Jack is not a resident at Slenderman's mansion, he's mostly on his own. But Jack hangs out with Slenderman and his proxies a lot to have some protection from him. Slenderman is aware of that and he plays along to annoy Splendorman even more.
This just makes the relationship between the brothers ever more tense.
Faceless people understand and speak every human languaje. However, only Splendorman has bothered to learn sign languages, the faceless people usually talk through telepathy but he understands how this might be pretty upsetting to deaf people.
Slendorman is not a fan of technology. He just never could get a hold of it. He's an old man.
He's not a big fan of alcohol. Even though faceless people can't get drunk. He just doesn't like the strong flavor it has, but if he had to choose he would go for wine or any fruit-flavored licor or mezcal.
He owns a lot of walking sticks, he likes them a lot.
One time a kid told him that he looked like their grandfather and he stopped using them for a while.
He knows how to play various instruments, and although he isn't a singer himself he likes to make up songs for the kids sometimes.
He's also a good dancer and is a really big fan of Swing.
This is all I got 🧍‍♂️
I wanted to write more headcanons but I figured that might need a little bit more context of the lore I'm building for the Slenderbros. So I'll start working on a blog where I'll dive into all the mythos I got for them, but first I want to make some other blogs dedicated to Slenderman and Trenderman first to be a little bit organized.
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hannigramislife · 1 month
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so i have a question that i swear is meant with complete sincerity (i just want to preface that because i know some people send shitty passive aggressive asks and i dont wanna be misunderstood).
I dislike dazai a lot and for most of the same reasons that you do but i also really dont like jgy for basically all the same reasons. I just know you're a big jgy fan but you really hate dazai and i was wondering how you reconcile those feelings? i assume we just have different interpretations of jgy (mdzs is a vast piece of media and there's a lot of different ways to interpret each character) but i've just been getting more and more curious so i wanted to ask. to be clear, i think it's totally okay to like jgy! the same way i think its okay for dazai fans to like dazai, they're just fictional characters. so this is in no meant as an attack or an 'ah ha!' moment. i just sort of don't understand liking one character and not the other when to me, all of their worst traits are the same and jgy has actually done far worse things than dazai (like murdering his own son)
i hope my ask isnt upsetting at all. you mentioned before liking to discuss meta so i really just want to introduce a conversation and maybe understand your perspective a bit better
Firstly, thank you so much for your polite ask!
I just wanna clear something up – I am not a Jgy fan XD. I see where one might think that, but I can guarantee you, I wanted him dead as fuck and I do not condone his atrocities.
Now, I do have some friends who have talked to me about Jgy, and they're Xiyao and Nieyao fans, respectively, so by talking with them, I have come to understand better some parts of Jgy's character, which have made me more forgiving towards some of his actions. Emphasis on some. Like you said, he and Dazai share the same annoying/frustrating traits, like the fact that they're lying liars 😊
I do appreciate Jgy as a character much more than I do Dazai though, that is correct, and I guess it's because of their narrative roles. Jgy has a very solid and interesting position in mdzs – in a world where social standing is such an important part of the story, the genius, bastard son of one of the wealthiest clans is constantly kicked down (lol couldn't resist), because the system has decided he doesn't deserve the same power as his half-brother, simply because of his birth situation.
And the narrative stays true to it! Time and time again, he is shut down, even when he goes to Lanling with Nie Mingjue's recommendation letter, even when he kills Wen Ruohen, even when he is married to secure his status, fate has fucked him over. It's like trying to watch Icarus reach the sun because he feels he is entitled to it.
Plus, I'm a huge Nieyao fan XD in a "they could have totally gotten married and lived happily ever after, but nooo; some of us have daddy issues *glares at jgy*"
So, this is the reason my posts have stopped being so antagonistic to Jgy, as I like to live in a delusional world where they've reincarnated in the modern world, jgy has some morals, and 3zun is happy 😇
Now, Dazai, on the other hand, I simply can't stand him. Nothing about his story or personality makes me go even as far as "yes, and?" I don't care for him as a character (though I get how he is appealing to people). I don't understand his actions 90% of the time. Plus, his actions are also frustrating and make me mad.
Like when Chuuya used corruption and he was like, "take me back at the place," and Dazai just left his ass there. "Oh, but that's their dynamic," yes, well, it annoys me. Plus, his whole thing with Akutagawa drives me up a wall because how dare you??? Motherfucker??? His first words to Akutagawa after 4 years live in my head rent-free because you could have shown that you became a better person, but nope. Still a dick. "Oh, he did that to set up the rivalry with Atsushi," you know how Beast Dazai did that? Set them up on a date. Boom. Take notes.
I also personally think Dazai either doesn't get Akutagawa fr, or he simply doesn't care to do so because Akutagawa flourishes with encouragement, it's actually sort of insane to see. Anyways. Went on a tangent there.
So yeah, Dazai is annoying, his personality sucks, he's a manipulative bastard, and he is mean to my baby :(
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frauleinandry · 1 month
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a persona 3 reload review
uuuuuuh so i was meant to post this like... two weeks ago, but then real life hit me in the head like a frying pan. now that i've had the time to edit this though, here are my thoughts on p3re! this is also a minato route review, as i played kotone's in P3P (i know it's not his canon name, but i don't want to use makoto due to P5 confusion).
on the whole, reload is a fantastic game. the gameplay easily rivals P5R, and surpasses it in some aspects. the new content is typically great. i also enjoyed minato as a character (well, as much of a character as persona protagonists are anyway), though that leads me to the main gripe i had with reload...
... and that's the lack of kotone's social links. to be precise, two of her social links, the absence of which greatly hurts the overall story.
don't get me wrong, i'd still rank reload a solid 8/10, but it could have been a 10/10 with the addition of those two links (plus one other spoiler thing), and I think that's a shame.
my in depth analysis is under the cut - note, it's very much not spoiler free.
okay, so, i'm gonna split this into 3.5 segments - the good, the mixed, and the bad (you'll find out what the 0.5 is later).
1. the good:
minato - while i'm still a kotone girlie at heart, he's not a bad protagonist at all! his dialogue options have a very distinct personality to them unlike joker and yu, and his character arc is one of the best of all of the persona main leads. an aloof, apathetic boy who learns to love the world/his friends so much he's willing to die for them... it's good!
koromaru - minor, but worth mentioning. you can pat him, and it's so cute. in fact, everything about him is perfect. from his all-out attack screen, to his animations, to... well, everything. no joke, if I needed to sell this game to a non-persona fan, i'd use him as the main draw.
hangout events - while I think being able to chat to everyone in the dorm already made SEES one of the more developed casts, having additional scenes really helped flesh out the party members who are less prominent in the plot (fuuka, pre-january aigis, ken). more things to do at night is also great, given there was nothing to do in the evening after maxing your social stats in the older versions. the perks they give you are great too, but i'll talk about that more later.
voice acting - not gonna lie, i generally don't like the persona dubs, and normally always play with the JP audio. given reload features some of my favourite voice actors though and was basically fully voiced, i decided to give it a chance this time. and i don't regret it! while some actors are definitely stronger than others, none of them were actively jarring, and quite frankly, they hard carried a lot of the social links. kudos to the cast!
strega - while they could have gone a bit further with it (jin needed a linked episode for sure), takaya finally got the development he sorely needed, and his and jin's final battles were actually interesting, instead of being annoying distractions from nyx. in fact, i'd say takaya's new content is easily the best of the new reload exclusive material. in portable, he made no impression on me whatsoever, but now, he finally gets to be the anti!minato he deserves to be.
1.5. the tartarus (aka good part 2, electric boogaloo):
i have so many things to gush about in terms of the new combat/exploration system, i decided it needed its own section! the glow-up tartarus got was massive. i was pretty disappointed when i heard they were keeping it randomly generated, but somehow, atlus pulled it off! i'll talk about individual things below.
collectables/monad doors - one issue with OG tartarus is that it's monotonous. breakable collectables make it much more entertaining to romp through though, as smashing things is Fun. the monad doors interspersed throughout are another good addition - if you want a break from roaming, you can challenge them, but if not, that's fine!
floor layout - another thing that makes tartatus more fresh to explore is that the HD graphics really make the differences between the blocks pop out. the generally smaller floors with more unique layouts really helps too.
shifting - it's baton pass, though without the ridiculous power/sp bonuses that made baton pass a little bit too gamebreaking in persona 5. in other words, perfect!
theurgy - out of all the battle-specific improvements, theurgy and the personality traits have got to be my favourites. showtimes were fun, but too random/gimmicky to be that useful, and ultimate skills tended to fluctuate between being absolutely gamebreaking or too SP intensive to be worth using. blending them into one feature with a content-specific gauge fixes all the problems with them while keeping everything that made showtimes/ultimate skills good.
ambush mechanics - this was one of the things i was most worried about before playing reload. ambushing in P5 is fun, but ambushing in the other persona games...? not so much. reload manages to fix this though by making the shadows less sensitive, which makes the early game a lot better, and but introducing dash-ambushes once the floors get bigger. if the persona 6 ambush system works like this, i'll be happy.
navigator skills - fuuka being retooled to work more like a playable character was an A+++ decision. making her skills player-activated but with an SP cost is so much more immersive than randomly getting a stat boost/enemy info.
unfortunately, while i think most of the tartarus additions were great, there were a few new mechanics which weren't... dreadful, per say, but could have been implemented better.
great clocks - they're better than nothing, but quite frankly, i would have preferred it if benched units got 50% exp instead. they incentivise you to drop two units for a period of time, which is annoying, given i want to use everyone on my first playthrough. late game, great clocks are also a pain to summon, for reasons i'll talk about below.
twilight fragments - i think they're a neat idea in theory, but they need to be easier/more reliable to farm. once you finish off the bulk of your social links/elizabeth's requests, replenishing them becomes a nightmare, which is annoying because you need them for great clocks.
2. the mixed:
while reload did a lot of things right, as per above, there were some things that didn't quite hit the mark.
linked episodes - i'm gonna be blunt. anyone who thinks these are better than social links is smoking something. one thing i like about party member social links is that it gives them a subplot outside of the main story, focusing more on their mundane struggles as opposed to their supernatural ones. half of the linked episodes just develop the main plot more though (and really should have just been included in it), meaning the linked episode exclusive subplots are underbaked.
another problem is that some of the linked episodes are just... kinda badly written. ryoji's completely lacks his existential dread, akihiko's comes off as a poor attempt to make his arena behaviour less OOC, while shinjiro's... it feels like persona 5 writing, in the worst way possible. it's like atlus completely forgot that subtext is a thing that's Good, actually.
while I have been fairly critical of them so far though, there are a couple of linked episodes i liked. koromaru's actually worked with the format, given he's a dog, but the real winner here was takaya. i loved all of his. if linked episodes appear again, i'd rather they be locked to antagonists like him.
art direction- i'll say right now - the UI is fabulous, the model shaders are great, and tartarus looks fantastic. the environmental design on the whole though is a bit iffy - a lot of the environments didn't translate to the super HD very well, and the lighting sucks in general. i needed to turn down the brightness it was so eye-searing. the animation of the 2D cutscenes is also pretty mediocre, and while the 3D cutscenes tend to look better, they're held back by some of the character models looking a bit goofy (mitsuru's is probably the biggest offender). i also think they were too scared of making the sprites 'ugly', and therefore on the whole they're slightly less emotive than the ones in the older versions of the game, which is a pity.
3. the bad:
minato's social links - the vast majority of the minato-exclusive social links are just flat-out not great. serious props to the voice actors here, since they hard carried them. quite frankly, they're just... bland, except for maya's and suemitsu's, which. uh. have problems. on the topic of social links, while i'm happy the romance isn't mandatory anymore, i don't like how half the girls explicitly confess to you. i much prefer the more subtle vibes of the P5/P4 romantic options, as yeah, most of them can lead naturally into romance, but they don't make the MC feel like a harem anime protagonist (derogatory). it kinda brings to mind this twitter post; sometimes, subtlety is simply better.
the absence of shinji and ryoji's social links - i can live without saori, rio, and most of the new and improved SEES member social links, but this is where i draw the line. while shinji dying is better storytelling, just like with chidori, having the option to save him is also important. lock it behind new game plus, yes... but keep it. also, him priming kotone to support akihiko one he's gone is far better than him just flat-out telling minato that he's dying. ryoji's missing social link though is infinitely worse. where is his slowly mounting horror as he starts poking holes in his backstory? his desperation to validate that he's actually real? that he exists?! like yeah, it's nice that the linked episode doubled down on his bisexuality, but i'd rather keep the psychological breakdown aspects of it, y'know?
the difficulty - i started playing reload normal - the level i'd typically use for a blind run of a persona game - aaaaand swapped to hard the second i unlocked theurgy. even then though, the game was a cakewalk until january hit. while i love theurgy, the game is absolutely not scaled around it, especially since you can charge/concentrate them. doing that, you can easily rack up thousands of damage without even going ham with fusion. unfortunately, reload is just... really easy.
the plot's too faithful to the original - while reload added new content, it pretty much left the story untouched outside of the beach scene. that's... not good, as persona 3's narrative had some pretty big problems. the biggest issue is the unchanged pacing - the strega storyline really needed to start a month earlier, and ryoji needed an extra month to integrate with the characters due to his lack of social link. this is one of the things i'm explicitly docking a point for - reload still doesn't kick off until the yakushima arc, which is well over a third into the game.
despite my criticisms, i do want to note that my experience with reload was predominately positive. it's (extremely) sad that you still need to play portable to experience the full persona 3 story, but p3re is still a fantastic game, and has a lot of gameplay features i'd be delighted to see in persona 6.
that's all i've got to say for now - until next time!
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laceratedlamiaceae · 8 months
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#
Hey, I really love your posts about Izzy (and for introducing me to the idea of CJizzy, honestly hadn't occured to me before), but I'm curious how you feel about the show as a whole... You've mentioned that you don't like Ed or Gentlebeard, so what kept you watching S1 until you, how do they put it these days, fell into the Izzy Canyon? Or did you fell in love with Izzy's character from the very first watch? If so, props to you, that's honestly impressive, I think most of us only started liking Izzy from our second rewatch or even later!
Yeah! So, to start with, I feel the most draw to participate in fandoms for media that I feel just okay about--if it's something I love, then I'm not interested in transformative works or headcanons or anything like that, because the source material stands on its own to me; and of course if I just don't like something I don't really want to engage with it at all. OFMD falls perfectly in that space between good and bad for me, where there's so much to like--just the concept of gay pirates is already amazing, and then you have so many interesting, compelling characters, and the vibes of it being a romcom--and then there's stuff I don't like, which as you noted is mostly Ed.
I can appreciate that Stede and Ed are a compelling, well-written love story, and absent my personal feelings about them I think they're a great couple; it's just that there are so, so many different things about Ed that I, personally, feel very strongly about (in a bad way) that brings the show from being amazing to being just okay in my eyes. My first watch I actually did like him and the main relationship; what I think happened--and I know this sounds like a joke, but I haven't been able to come up with a better explanation--is that I was so distracted by how attractive I found him that I didn't really notice Ed's personality. Later, when I was rewatching the show, I realized that he of reminds me of a lot of different people who I've disliked for various reasons, on top of just generally having the type of personality that I don't really vibe with, and then I got caught in a sort of feedback loop where seeing him at all kind of annoyed me, which made me dislike him more, which made me even more annoyed to see him at all, and so on (aka the bitch eating crackers phenomenon; Ed is a supreme BEC to me).
Izzy is actually the other big issue I have with the show--he's too interesting and compelling for what his role in the story demands, and that's why I was so drawn to participating in the fandom; I wanted to give him the attention I felt like he deserved. I liked Izzy from the beginning, I thought he was funny and relatable, but it wasn't until a rewatch and noticing the way he and Ed interacted (which is one of the many things about Ed that hit way too close to home for me) that I started to become an ardent #izzydidnothingwrong truther. I didn't get to that point completely independently, though; the other Izzy Enjoyers back in the early days of the fandom definitely helped.
And again, I do want to stress that me feelings about Ed are just my personal feelings, based on my own bullshit, and I don't intend to make anyone who does like him feel bad about that.
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roobylavender · 6 months
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you know what would automatically change my hatred to love for sasusaku? If their genders were reversed. Majority of the reason why I hate sasuke and sakura relationship is because the type of environment and the culture I grew up in where it's been fed to women since basically birth to always be faithful to her man no matter how terrible he treats her, even after marriage. The pharse, "Just be patient and he will change", infuriates me to another level. Seeing sakura chasing after sasuke throughout the series after numerous rejections and an attempted MURDER on her by him made me roll my eyes so hard like girl just move the fuck on omfg. And even after their "marriage" sasuke's treatment towards her doesn't get better lmao, leaving her alone with a whole ass child to take care by herself?? BYE sakura's patience for him is outmatch cus I would've divorced his ass for that. Though, the more I mature, little by little I begin to understand the complexity of their relationship after putting my gender issues aside for a second and look deep into them. And especially now, after reading your perspective on their whole relationship, it really did made half of my hatred go away and understand the relationship wholeheartedly. Like yeah, I absolutely love the trope of one person saying they don't deserve the other person's love but the other person keep loving them anyway, that stuff makes me giggle and swing my legs in the air and shit. It's just that the only way this trope would work for me if the person loving them has enough self-respect for themselves AND if it's a girl in the former & the guy in the latter. And honestly, I found naruto being borderline obsessed with sasuke annoying too but the reason why I can digest it more well is because naruto can go head to head with sasuke without backing down. Like, I wanted to see at least ONCE sakura having a heated argument with sasuke, or punch him in the face in the series. I feel like sasuke deserves a punch from her at the very least 🤷🏽‍♀️
Sigh, I really did wanna love their relationship and their journey to love (that scene of him catching her when she was about to fall and then having that iconic eye contact had me feeling butterflies ngl) since it has all the tropes I love but the execution is just so...
i mean if it helps any i absolutely hate post-canon and that's where my primary divide with most sasusaku fans lies 😭 i'm not sure if you read the blue-plums post i reblogged but it's a good dissection of why exactly it fails as a conclusion to both their individual arcs and their relationship arc generally. the post-canon we see is a direct answer to what sasuke's and sakura's dreams are at the start of the series, but the problem with this is that sasuke and sakura are nowhere near being the same people at the end of the series as they were at the start. generally, i don't think post-canon really takes the individual arc of any character into much account. its primary goal is maintaining the status quo with a slight veneer of friendship power draped over it for aesthetics. but nothing at the root is changed despite every traumatic development the characters were relentlessly subjected to. resultantly, you're left with a portrayal of sasuke as a neglectful father who glorifies the lone-wolf hero trope, which goes against everything he could possibly have learned from itachi; and you're left with a portrayal of sakura as someone content to keep house despite the bulk of her character arc being grounded in her ability and desire to take initiative not only at home, but abroad. it's not true to who either of them is by that point and, even more than that, it's a disservice to everything they've put themselves through for the sake of the love they were vying for. so while i love sasusaku as it progresses up through 699, i tend to wholeheartedly ignore whatever comes after and relegate that instead to either my own imagination or blue-plums's in her fics
what i will say about the naruto and sakura distinction is that a lot of people are more comfortable with how sasuke reacts to naruto bc they believe what naruto is doing is right. it's kind of like: if the only thing sasuke will realistically respond to is violence then obv naruto can resort to that violence without dwelling on it too much. but if you think about violence in the context of sasuke's entire life, it's not actually helpful at all beyond its ability to physically bring him to a grinding halt. even when naruto finally breaks through to sasuke, it's not the violence that makes things click for him. it's the words he says after, and it's the words he's always said before that that have stayed in sasuke's mind. violence, in contrast, is a poisonous thing for sasuke bc it's the only thing that has defined the parameters of his entire life. it robbed him of every person he cared about prior to his meeting team seven, and inevitably it intimidated him into seeking out more violence once he realized that he was incapable of saving the new people he'd come to care about as well. everything, at the root, was driven by sasuke's traumatically-exacerbated response to love and loss. the idea of losing naruto and sakura to the hands of anyone else was unbearable. so he decided that he'd rather have killed them himself. it was absolutely irrational. but a twelve year old child put through that kind of successive, relentless trauma was never going to think rationally, and certainly not after being exploited by people like orochimaru and obito (and to an extent itachi) in turn
all of this to say: there is of course a gendered aspect to the fact that sakura's response to sasuke is markedly not violence. but i also think people sort of refuse to dissect her response any further and esp in context of the narrative itself. despite being the hallmark of rationality within the team and perhaps even the series, sakura was inevitably always driven by the value she placed on humanity. it would've been so easy and rational and "right" to kill sasuke bc he was an insurgent, a terrorist, a danger to public safety, etc. but sakura knew it was more complicated than that. even without knowing about the intricacies of the uchiha massacre she'd been a witness to his suffering and struggle and helplessness. she was as much unable to kill him bc of her love for him as she was unable to kill him bc she knew it wouldn't be right. bc really, what would it solve. sasuke being written off or dying would accomplish nothing bc he would become one more person in the long line of victims to nationalism and the military-industrial complex. while naruto's desire to retrieve sasuke was driven by his love for him it was also driven by the fact that he was stubborn and relentless and refused to give up on people. if you won't believe in yourself i'll beat the belief into you. it's a very shounen-esque trait. in contrast, sakura's desire to retrieve sakura, while also driven by her love for him, was significantly driven by her ability to see that sasuke needed help. in fact, that's all she ever wanted him to get: help. and it would be one thing for this to be an isolated desire but when you read it in context of her own goals as a medic and a mental health professional, her unwavering belief in sasuke is a lot more striking. she was the only person in the entire narrative who never resorted to violence as a solution to sasuke's problems. and she was angry, to be sure. much as she loves him the struggle to bring him back and convince him that he was worthy of love and healing left her emotionally exhausted. but they're also children at the end of the day. she could've been angry at him, or naruto could've been angry him, and in the end none of it would've mattered in the face of knowing they'd finally gotten through to him. he had a smile on his face, he didn't have an arm anymore, and for the first time in his life he met a loss with utter peace and content. it was a thing of miracles after six years of relentless grief and sorrow, and nothing else could've been on their mind.
at the end of the day, team seven's love for sasuke isn't rational. the farthest thing from it, really. but that's what makes it so radical in context. if love in naruto was only ever meant to be rational then hardly anyone would survive. love was always written as an act of defiance and for however subtle the depiction sakura exemplified it
#this is already so long i won't ramble any further in the text bc i've gotten across my point#but tldr you're totally valid! like honestly a lot of sasusaku fans tend to take the full scope of post-canon as gospel and it's infuriatin#and it definitely panders to a lot of gendered stereotypes#the relationship is i think way easier to digest if you isolate 1-699 and then pretend none of the rest exists lol#me personally i want sasuke to go on travels and meet lots of orphans and dedicate himself to humanitarian work#and i want sakura to do her mental hospital thing and research and advocacy at the village#before the projects she works on inevitably extend to intervillage endeavors#it's a nice way for both her and sasuke to explore their respective itches while also doing something that overlaps#with what the other person is doing. i am also a gazillion times more inclined towards them adopting an orphan#than i am towards the idea of them getting traditional married and having a traditional family and birthing traditional babies. boh-ring#i have a post somewhere on my old blog but to Me it would be revolutionary for sasuke to separate himself from the idea that the#only real bonds are those borne in blood. bc all that matters is love. i think adoption would be a really good personification of that idea#also occasionally they can come back to konoha and do silly couple things. like go to the farmers market and plant flowers#and harvest tomatoes. househusband sasuke and workaholic sakura. my dream combination truly#outbox
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community-rants · 2 years
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Dead By Daylight - Thank you from huntress and a message to clickers
Feng Min, Nea, Mikaela and I think the 4th was Meg if im not mistaken.. Thank you so much. I was the Huntress you got at 5:40AM EST on May 16 2022. I didn't get a single hook or hit in, I didn't throw my axes for most the match except at the ground and at you Nea. Sorry Didn't know you were a SWF so I was going to use you as practice then take you to the gates. Feng Min and Mikaela gave me hooks. I tried to get you both out the gate but you refused, I didn't want you guys to die I knew we didn't have time. Thank you for the hooks but I really wish you both didn't die. It both warmed my heart at how sweet you two were, and broke it because you two didn't deserve to "Lose" and go down in mmr. Your whole group was so sweet to me a baby as huntress.
I am a new huntress, that was my first match. I truthfully didn't even know HOW to throw an axe lmao much less aim at something 1 foot infront of me. I had a bad night and you guys actually made it so much better. I had 4 matches in a row as other killers (Wraith for 1 match and Nemesis for the rest) I was new to Nemesis. Also relearning Wraith after not playing him for 5 months. So I was clumsy and awkward. All 4 matches had a flashlight clicker, MACRO clicker who followed me around just to get in my face and flash me constantly, not even to blind me but to harass me.
I have minor epilepsy and I have night blindness. Just like some others who do play the game. I can already hear all the ableism. I have heard it all before, trust me it isn't new "Don't play video games then" "Play Epileptic safe games" Problem is there is next to no Epileptic safe games. I'm not going to give up something I've done since I was a child that got me through PTSD and Trauma as a child just because of a medical condition that CAN be accommodated for with accessibility OPTIONS in games. Just like motion sickness and color blindness can be accommodated for, so can epilepsy if a company actually CARES and their fans stop enabling ableism and exclusion. A huge problem DBD has. Color Blindness, people had to fight for. It had to go public and turn into a HUGE scandal in journalism and media for anything to be done about it in DBD. That kind of inaction for any disability IS a problem. My epilepsy on its own would not be so bad. I can handle flashing lights at certain speeds in certain levels of lighting. I also have no issues with the flashlights themselves, but with the way they are being used. Use it to blind me thats A-Okay. But when you click you are risking someones health JUST to be an asshole and be annoying. Some people even do it and admit they do it, with intentions to CAUSE a deadly epileptic attack. Thats not right, that is SICK and wrong. Now with a high light level and the clicking? I only get sick, dizzy and end up in pain. No risk of seizure or blackouts. With a DARK environment? I get blackouts. With a VERY dark environment like a foggy dark swamp with the thickest mist or the preschool with the thickest mist which are the two maps I have the issue the worst on? That causes me seizures because the BEAM of light from the flashlight contrasts TOO much. How Do I suggest it be fixed? Simple, its quite an easy fix that wouldn't harm ANYONE's gameplay except people who do it to try to HARM others. Add in accessibility the option to turn off the BEAM visual or options to control how bright it and the blind is. Maybe let us even turn the blind into a black screen instead or somewhere inbetween. We still get blinded, they still serve their intended purpose but our health is taken into consideration this way aswell. Maybe add in for those with sound epilepsy options with the sound too. Talk to them, actually listen to them and find out what works for them. Its really not that hard if you're not too lazy to do it. Moving back to the main point. As you four could see from this post. I have had a bad time on dead by daylight since day 1. As a survivor and a killer. I have suffered from flashlights on BOTH sides it doesn't matter which side im on, clickers always harass other people. You guys turned my night from "I want to cry and I hate myself for being disabled" to "Its not all bad, I can have fun even WITH my disability" which is a BIG difference to me. The match just before you guys I had one of the worst clickers. She came to the corner I was in just to click me in the face when I was throwing the match BECAUSE of her because I almost blacked out. It was the swamp, darkest it can be, fog and the thickest mist possible. I almost had a seizure because of that claudette. The Mikaela, Dwight and Zarina in that match though were sweet hearts when I was playing Nemmy. But that claudette, almost put me into a seizure. I'm up alone, at the time no one would be awake for 8 hours because my family is sick and literally can't keep awake / wake up early. I've been better for a week now, I was the first one better. Point is I could of had a seizure possibly passed away because that CAN happen, because of one asshole who thought it was funny and a company who refuses to do shit all to help, and the fact theres no one to help me makes that all the more dangerous.
You guys, People like you, are the reason I still play. Despite all the ableism on the forums, reddit and from a lot of people I met on the game. Its worth sticking around to make sure you guys get one less toxic killer / game and get to have fun too.Z To the claudette who harassed me. FUCK YOU. Sincerely. To flashlight clickers in general. PLEASE reconsider, for the sake of those with epilepsy. Click at the ground, click slow and / or don't click at all. Do not click in someones face for the love of humanity. Have some empathy and consideration, you could very well take a life by trolling or trying to get attention in that way. Most killers are going to ignore you because you are trying to get their attention. It doesn't work most the time anyways. All you are doing is harming other real people. They aren't AI they are real people behind the screen. You could take a teenagers life in seconds or a young adults lives or someones grandparent or parent just because you wanted to fuck around and find out. And if you can be okay with someone dying because it IS a real possibility and if you are able-bodied with able-bodied relatives you won't EVER know what that is like, if you can be okay with killing someone like that? You are a lost cause, you have no humanity left in you and your soul is as black as coal and your heart a shard of ice. We're all human, act like it. What if it was your sister? Brother? Mother? Father? Child? Grandparent? Cousin? Aunt? Uncle? Nephew? Niece? How would you feel if they had a condition they couldn't help? If someone didn't care and did something they have been told over and over again is dangerous, and killed them? You might not be a murderer in the eyes of the law. But socially and morally you are one, if someone dies because you fucked around too hard KNOWING this is a real and dangerous problem. To the people who try to protect the killers by blocking the beam with their characters or body blocking around them so clickers cant get n their face? You have so much empathy, humanity and love in your hearts. Trust me we really appreciate and adore you. Thank you, thank you for protecting us and possibly saving some lives. Quitting the game isn't a proper solution. Its patronizing and dismissive when thats what "Solution" people offer as they brush it off as a non issue. Yes we have a responsibility to protect our own health, but the game is fine for us. Its people using flashlight NOT for intended purpose that is the problem. And it doesn't mean you have no responsibility for your own actions and assholery. Especially when you KNOW what you could cause to happen. You have been warned time and time again, post after post every month every year about this issue. You will kill someone some day or hospitalize an innocent person, thats something you'll have to live with, something you can never be forgiven for. So stop and think about it, can you live if you know you caused a death? Or can you live without knowing if that last match you had hospitalized someone? To know you are leaving people without a child or parent? If you can't handle that, then rethink what you are doing. Its never too late to have empathy for others.
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idiacide · 2 years
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A non-comprehensive list of the Just Neurodivergent Things on the boys I hc as ADHD/Autistic (source: I have ADHD and am pursuing an autism diagnosis).
Floyd Leech (ADHD):
-noncomprehensive list of stims include nail biting, hair tugging, sliding his untied bowtie back and forth in his shirt collar (resulting in the bowtie being confiscated by Jade), snapping, and biting pretty much anything he gets his hands on
-Would strongly benefit from a chew necklace if his teeth didn't shred the rubber immediately
-In general he's a hazard to keep in clothes. The longer he's been on land the easier it gets but he still tends to pull his jacket on and off every few hours or so
-His hyperfixations tend to be on athletics and different sports, resulting in a lot of unused equipment piling up in his room and making a tripping hazard
Jade Leech (Autism)-
-The worst part of moving to land was losing the ocean pressure. He tends to wear a lot of tight clothes to help offset this.
-Floyd never bothered to learn to mask. Jade did once they came to land, not because of a pressure to conform but because he thinks its funny to turn the neurotypical energy on and off at will.
-Special interest in mushrooms. Obsessive.
-The mountain trips have an added bonus of giving him a scheduled time to destimulate a little bit and self regulate. The Mostro Lounge and Floyd both make for a chaotic day to day life and while Jade isn't super prone to meltdowns it can be tough if he doesnt know he can get away soon. Having those plans altered or cancelled, especially at the last minute, is one of the few ways to visibly upset him
-His body gets all tight when he IS overstimulated and his breathing gets more regulated. Fortunately Floyd and Azul both tend to spot this pretty quickly and will clear the room
-HATES fluorescents
Jamil Viper (Autism and ADHD):
-He thinks he's very good at multitasking, and he is, but its literally only because of he was able to slow down to one task at a time he would implode
-Dancing stretches stims. Constantly
-Kalim is usually the number one source of overstimulation with the constant chatter and abrupt plans changing and bubbliness. Post overblot they both get better about boundary setting there.
-Has no idea his face typically registers as annoyed/bored to most people.
-He braids his hair to stim and as a way of self regulating. His hands are always going on something
-He learned how to fake emotional regulation really early on but he struggles really badly with his temper to this day.
-Hates not being able to set the pace of his own activities. Having to wait for other people to catch up to where he is makes him want to stick needles in his hand
-Subtle flappy hands, held low so they can't be spotted
Vil Schoenheit (Autism)
-"Im so good at masking no one would ever know" *has a meltdown because an assistant put his makeup back Wrong *
-Generally really bad at emotional regulation in the face of lacking control. Ascribes a lot of it to a "diva" personality instead of the actual truth
-Part of the reason he's so good at acting is he spent his whole childhood studying people's intonation and facial expressions to mimic them. When he's not in work mode he tends to let it drop completely. "Resting bitch face" can be seen as a staple when youre a celebrity. Nobody has to know its just your default mode.
-He grits his teeth and bears through modelling sessions with fabrics that irritate his sensory issues, but Rook makes a point to ensure all Pomefiore dorm uniforms are made of stuff Vil can tolerate easier
-He's not very public about it because he doesn't want to be shoved into the box of Autism spokesperson and never allowed to leave it. However, he's vigilant for signs and symptoms in his underclassmen and makes a point to provide as much accommodations as is within his power to give. Beauty may be pain sometimes, but his dormmates deserve the tools they need to succeed.
Idia Shroud (ADHD)
-Chews his hair to stim which is SUCH a bad idea his mouth tastes like ash. He'll settle for hoodie strings or sleeves if he has to.
-Sensory whiplash all the time, sometimes you need 12 videos playing at once just to feel something and sometimes leaving your bed in your pitch black room feels like the biggest ask in the world.
-Media hyperfixations that eat up his income like nothing else. At least his family's rich.
-Caffeine addict. He's been trying to ease off since Ortho started rattling off heart disease stats but its slow going.
-Physically cannot stop talking, mumbles to himself when he doesnt want people to hear.
-Nuked sleep schedule
-Gets the zoomies at his computer and has to lap his room a few times. He trips over more laundry piles that way
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wistfulrat · 3 years
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a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm
[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.
but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]
part 2: dramas
mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known
includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.
(Un)wanted by @aibidil​ - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.
Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth. 
Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home” 
Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson​ - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line
Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​ - 153k - T  this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.
Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise​​ - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.
Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.
Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3​ - E  “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.
A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).
Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx​ - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!
Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.”  i cry
The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -
[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]
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klaineownsmysoul · 3 years
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I just can't believe that there are people who still believe every single word a public figure/celebrity says, most of the time they LIE. Did C lie about some fans harassing his bf? I have no clue, but if someone was indeed harassing him, that is just not correct. There are crazy fans in every fandom. If people still believe every post or tweet is posted personally by the celebrity, they are just naive and gullible. I don't believe in CC, but that's just my opinion. I do believe D is closeted and just because he posts something or says something nice about someone doesn't mean he actually thinks that, it is most likely PR, just like the unnecessary refurbishment of RR's house. People should wake up and not believe everything they see on the internet. Side note: I couldn't even get mad at yesterday's show because everything is just so ridiculous and bad-acted that it's funny.
At this point, if you aren't side-eyeing basically everything that comes out of Hollywood, you are just willfully ignorant. Its all calculated to a specific end and they don't think twice about contradicting their past selves if it serves a current narrative. Case in point: C saying towards the end of glee that he had no idea who D was when he joined the show when there's a whole interview of him talking about seeing D in AVPM way back when. Like season 2 back when. That's just a blatantly obvious, easily disproved and stupid lie. With regards to this podcast mess - I haven't listened to it and I wasn't on tumblr for most of glee's run so I wasn't really privy to a lot of the goings on that happened bts. Can I believe that there were people who crossed the line of fandom and behaved like assholes? Yes, definitely because it still happens. That kind of behavior is not exclusive to the glee fandom. You will find people like that everywhere. Whether or not they did exactly what he said they did - only he knows that for sure. Its a weird thing to bring up now 6 years after the show has ended as it effectively (and unfairly) paints a bullseye on a specific group. I'm not sure what he was hoping to achieve with this. The CC people that I've interacted with here are lovely and would never in a million years even think of things that horrible. Keep your thoughts and opinions to your own little blog and you don't tag the person in your post - its as simple as that. Who are these nobodies who have that much power that they think they can get a complete stranger fired? If they did indeed behave this way, then that is appalling, completely batshit crazy, and unacceptable - they need professional help. Its not funny, its scary. There's no need for that ever. At the end of the day, its his life and what he does with it and who he spends it with is his business. There's a pretty simple solution if you don't like the person anymore or don't like what they are doing: you can simply stop following them. You don't need to engage in some sort of bizarre smear campaign that has real world implications. Remember all those toxic twitter teens who were ready to draw and quarter D a few months back over that nearly 10 year old pic of him or a comment just as old? The awful things they said about him, the nonstop tagging of him and the flooding of every one of his SM posts with their bullshit? The "you're dead to me if you choose to remain a fan of his" ultimatums? I do! That's the kind of stuff that drives celebs away from SM and ruins it for the rest of us that know how to behave. You're creating an issue where there wasn't one and that's sort of what C did here with his comments.
From my point of view, the issue with C and D's SOs isn't so much that they are with other people, but more to the kind of people they seem to be. I don't know much frankly about W. He's not shoved in my face 24 hours a day and a hovering annoying presence at everything C does. You'll find more pics of C solo or with AF than you will with W. That's why he bothers me less and why D takes more criticism on this. But from what I've heard about him, he's said and posted some pretty awful things in the past and if people choose to not like him because of that, that seems valid to me. As fans, we can only judge celebs by what they say and do and our perception of them - its all we have. My dislike of M is not because she's with D and I'm a super jealous old spinster. And its not because I'm a self hating misogynist. Its because of the way she clings to D and his career while doing nothing on her own, the way she uses him for her own selfish purposes, and the hypocritical way she claimed to not to want to be in the public eye but yet shadows D at every event he goes to because it means cameras and photos and recognition as his wife. That tacky awful commercialized wedding was the last straw for me because I haven't been able to hold my tongue since. And if you follow someone long enough, you can get a pretty good idea of when they're being genuine and when they're bullshitting you or in D's case, when its him posting something and when its a member of his team. For example: where he supposedly proposed. By lying about it - either then or now - you've created a mess that didn't previously exist. Its a fairly simple straightforward statement that most people get right the first time: where they asked their SO to marry them. D says Japan, RR says D called him saying he wanted to do it when he was outside a bathroom in Miami. So the answer is either a) D b) RR c) none of the above. I'm going to go with c, thanks. Unless RR is going to come back and say that D decided to ask her in Miami but then waited until they were physically in Japan to do the asking, I'm going to go with neither of you are right and the reason D blew off the question every time he was asked about it by saying he didn't want to bore us is that you hadn't come up with a good enough and believable story yet. Much like the engagement ring that hadn't been locked down until RR could find a designer willing to make a ring with a diamond big enough to soothe her ego and give off the pretense of being legit. He probably put more effort into that than anything in D's career in the last 5 years. Do I think that RR did help D at one point when he was starting out with gigs, jobs, things like that? Sure. No problem. And maybe they were friends and liked to hang out and jam together. But do I also think that D has outgrown him personally and professionally at this point? Hell fucking yes. He needs a grown up to take his career to the next level and RR is not that person. He completely failed to capitalize on all the awards and well deserved hype D got from ACS and for that alone, he should have been fired. He needs someone who wants to do the work because they understand the rare find they have in D and that their job is to promote him, not themselves. The IOU ep was nothing but a self serving hour of D trying to make RR look and sound like he's not a complete waste of space on top of getting a cut of his fee as his manager. If you look at D's page on the very sad H/yphenate website, you will see the 3 biggest roles D's had are not listed. No Blaine. No Hedwig. No ACS. But oddly enough, a mention of his record deal with Columbia, which I thought went kaput ages ago and his hosting of the Teen Choice Awards in 2013. You know - the big times. Why? I'm going to assume its because he got those roles without RR's help so he doesn't want them there and what does that tell you? It should tell you everything. This is why your manager should be your manager and your friends should be your friends. Its like a parent who wants to be their
child's friend instead of the authority figure they need.
Too much of D's SM has the look and feel of pr and useless ads and just flat out nonsense and that falls squarely under RR's domain. He's a 34 year old man with an established career, not a 21 year old newbie just starting out but his SM doesn't reflect that in any way, shape, or form. The sooner D can cut his losses and break free, the better off his career will be, the more adult he will sound, and the happier I will be.
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fandom-oracle · 3 years
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Wait wdym? Do you think fic is bad?
i'm getting canceled tonight i guess.
if you actually did a good a faith interpretation of my post you know it's not really ABOUT fanfiction at all, i actually write fanfiction myself. i'm not sharing here because it's overwhelmingly bad fic that i write exclusively as wish-fulfilment or for self-projection, but at least i'm self-aware about it. i am ALSO one of the people who reads ze Books™️, although most of the academic material i consume are nonfiction, so this whole thing is particularly annoying to me. the crux of the matter is that, if you're a little younger you might've missed it, but this website was a hotbed of scalding takes like 'dante's divine comedy is literally fanfiction', 'something something is literally fanfiction' when the thing in question barely counts as a transformative work and, in fact, it weakens the definition of transformative work in itself to try to apply it to literally anything that exhibits an ounce of intertextuality. plenty of takes that are... true, but require some nuance, focused on the idea of transformative fandom as a place defined by its presence of overwhelmingly female and disproportionately queer (occasionally, though disputedly, nonwhite) content creators and the ways in which transformative fan content could be interpreted as a space of defiance to cisheteropatriarchy in the way it permeates traditional media. a third, less common but still relevant take was the focus on how certain fandoms such as trek and doctor who have a long history of involvement in real-world civil rights issues and progressive politics. so this kind of take has been the dominant view on tumblr and transformative fandom for a good decade now, perhaps longer, and the people with this kind of takes can sometimes be a little... obnoxious. and the majority of people on transformative fandom (regardless of wether or not the fandom is disproportionately composed of nonwhite individuals or not, by sheer virtue of american demographics and this site`s heaily skewed userbase, the majority will still be white) are white, and like any other space dominated by white people, fandom has often been a vehicle for white supremacy. "Stitch Media Mix" talks about this in-depth. the discourse on fandom racism and ways in which transformative fandom as a whole contribute to racialized stereotypes, hierarchies, and deeper problems within online culture has led to a lot of people with grievances with fandom, many of whom are women of color, to develop an entire online identity built around the concept of being "critical of fandom", which is a very weird thing to do with fandom is literally billions of people, not a unified demographic, and that being critical of something can mean a WIDE amount of things; which in turn has led to a lot of people insulating themselves completely from any criticism of fandom as being inherently in bad faith, which a weird thing to do when literally ANY sphere of society should be open to criticism. people taking critiques of media they consume and taking critiques of their own critiques as personal attacks are abound here and make everything worse. so a fairly recent (mid2018ish, definitely post the insanity of reylo discourse but before sarah z blew up in popularity) trend has been that people in these communities isolate more and more and the general discourse has effetively resulted in people with differing takes in fanfiction specifically but fandom as a Whole (which is, again very weird to say because fandom is not 'a Whole' because there's no unifying element to different fandoms) only interacting with each other in hostile ways. and increasingly, in my personal sphere, a lot of people are positioning themselves in the "fandom critical" (AGAIN, WEIRD THING TO SAY, WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN, PLEASE USE WORDS WITH PRECISION) sphere, and I tend to take that "side" myself, but i specifically do not think framing this as a team A or team B thing is useful. this culture war was in the buildup.
last week a post by a user i follow recently became popular. the post itself was a critique that i.. do not necessarily agree with. it was ultimately about the idea of easily-consumable popular media being seen as an acceptable form of exclusive media engagement by people in the "pro-fandom" sphere, and how the insidiousness of this line of thinking has to do with how capitalist media production is designed to spread, and how fandom AS A TREND, not specifically any individuals or any fanworks, can empower capitalism. the post specifically did NOT use the kindest possible words, but that was what they were trying to say. howelljenkins also has really good takes on the subject, albeit from a different angle.
anyway because this is a circular culture war, the result was as follows: 1) a bunch of pro-fandom types refuse to actually make a charitable reading of the post and insist the user in question hates fandom and thinks people under capitalism shouldn't have things that are Fun, and should Only Read Theory and keep sending anon hate to several blogs in the opposing sphere, therefore proving the point that fandom sometimes prevent people from being able to engage critically with things; 2) a bunch of anti-fandom types who defined their entire identity on hating fandom being like "haha look at these cringe people" instead of trying to understand why a demographic overwhelmingly composed of marginalized people would feel strongly to posts that use inflammatory language against an interest of theirs, thereby proving the point that most criticism of fandom is divorced from actual fan content and is vaguely defined. the reason this is a culture war that actually deserves attention (unlike most fandom culture wars, which are just really granular ship wars made into social justice issues for clout) is that, for the most part, both of these groups are mostly people with college degrees, many of whom will contirbute to academia in the coming years. fan studies is a relevant field. these discussions have repercussions in wider media criticism trends, and this is why i can't really stand it or just passively ignoring it the way i do with most other inconsequential discourse. like it's genuinely upsetting seeing almost every single tumblr user, most of whom should know better, patting themselves in the back for their inability to read things in a way that doesn't feed into preexisting cultural hostilities in fan spaces.
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awed-frog · 3 years
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Hi, genuinely asking here, since I kinda like your blog, but from the 2 english articles I found about the whole mila situation(it's a French issue, how is the rest of the world supposed to notice it if French people don't bother letting them know?) the uproar is about her being islamophobic af, not about her rightfully telling men to not hit on her or that she is a lesbian. Like, my French is rusty but none of the french articles even care about those parts. What are you going on about?
The uproar is that you have a right to be “Islamophobic” because freedom of speech protects blasphemy. Without this protection, we wouldn't have satirical newspapers, books like Harry Potter (which was officially branded a 'corruptive influence' by the former Pope) or anything Neil Gaiman wrote and mostly 90% of the movies we watch, not to mention random conversations, Halloween costumes, Carnival stuff and so on. I mean I'm guessing that during an ordinary day, you might enjoy an episode of Supernatural or Lucifer, or even watch a movie where two characters briefly discuss whether God is real, or what an asshole He is, and why He lets bad things happen. Next you might participate to an online or RL discussion about the same thing. Depending on your native language and whether swear words are usually about religion or not, you might even blaspheme out right - a stunned 'Porco Dio' when something doesn't go your way. You might scroll past, and 'like', posts that say Christianity fucked the world and deserves to be destroyed, or people insisting God is a woman, trans, a pink wombat. You may see or write angry posts about how all priests are pedophiles, or hiding pedophiles. You might make or enjoy memes about Biblical stuff like Cain and Abel, and reblog gifs from The Life of Brian or one of the thousand offensive jokes there are about Jesus and the 'Virgin' Mary (ahahhahah, poor cuck Joseph). And most likely, you do all of this without a second thought - you consider this a normal and unremarkable part of your life.
Well - it is a normal and unremarkable part of your life - in some Western countries, at least - because we fought the Church and its minions for literal centuries so they'd shut the fuck up and stop annoying and torturing and killing people. I mean in the US they have their own problems, but in Europe I'd say you could call about 70% of the population overt or covert Christianophobes - if such a term had any meaning - simply because they blaspheme every single day. Whether they consider themselves Christians or not, whether they've been baptized and married in a Church or not, on any given day they might dress up as a sexy nun or ironically hang a crucifix upside down or listen to 'empious' music (like all metal and most pop songs) or make a bad joke about a priest or watch a 'corrupted' movie or say they don't give a fuck about God (understood to be, the Christian God), because if He exists, than he's a fickle motherfucker.
What Mila said is not nice. She reacted in anger, she reacted badly, she's also a teen on social media so she's bound to do stupid things and make mistakes. Meanwhile, the thousands of mostly adult men who threatened her with violence are not doing something stupid or making a mistake. They're demanding what Muslims (in Europe, but also in their own countries) have been demanding more and more loudly: that we give them special treatment, suspend our freedom of speech and blasphemy laws, stop criticizing their religion - or fucking else. Because this is not a polite philosophical discussion over cupcakes. People get killed every day for 'disrespecting' Islam - most of them Muslims or ex-Muslims. Please remember Samuel Paty, the teacher who's literally been beheaded in the street for teaching a class that was on the curriculum, and that other teacher in Yorkshire who's been in hiding with his family for months - and will likely never teach again - because he's 'guilty' of the same crime.
(And tbh, 'disrespecting' Islam can be everything and anything. We always think about a certain kind of 'extreme' Charlie Hebdo humour, but there are lots of things that are forbidden depending on who's in charge. For instance, a famous (and devout) Algerian theologian, Saïd Djabelkhir, was recently sentenced to three years in jail for 'offenses' against Islam - for instance, he suggested the story of Noah's Ark could be a metaphor and not an event that truly happened. The horror.)
Legally speaking, 'respecting' someone's religion means the State can't forcibly close a church if people are peacefully practicing their faith. It doesn't mean every single one of us has to stop criticizing, making jokes, writing novels and fanfiction, and yeah - even yelling obscenities because we're all human and we do get angry from time to time - under literal pain of death.
Anyway if you want to learn more about this, I'd suggest you look for the tag 'ex muslim' here on tumblr or on reddit or Twitter. You'll get opinions much more informed than mine on all of this and why the right to blaspheme is so essential.
(Also for future reference, it's not people from country X who have to 'bother' letting the world know what's going on. Instead, you're supposed to have curious, inquisitive, unafraid media who also cover that 98.13% of the world that's not the United States.)
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rallamajoop · 3 years
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The Witcher: The Games vs the Books part 2 – Characters and Accents
So, I've already talked at length about the relationship between the Witcher books and games, but how well they captured individual characters is its whole own subject – and you’d better believe I have enough thoughts on it for a whole extra post.
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Andrej Sapkowski's skill for creating vivid and engaging characters really is so much of what brings the books to life, and no matter how much work an adaptation might put into worldbuilding and plot, it's the characters you've really got to nail to get the long-time fans on board. Especially when you’ve done what the games have, framing themselves as a direct continuation of Sapkowski's story. Nothing invites comparison to your source material like basically forcing fans to read the original novels to understand even half the backstory alluded to in-game. 
So how did they do? I can only offer my opinion – characterisation is necessarily going to be a lot more subjective than just telling you what plot points the games contradicted outright – but like any fan, I have opinions in plenty.
Of the main cast, I feel Yennefer is the character they've captured the best. They've done just as well with some supporting players – I have no real complaints about Dijkstra or Phillipa, for example, who are favourites of mine in both games and books. For the main players though, Geralt and Regis seem to be the ones who's differences I'm most inclined to forgive, whereas I don't feel like they've done Ciri justice at all. Book!Geralt is much less of a smartarse, for one thing, whereas Book!Ciri is much more of one. But if we're talking about the differences, I’m afraid we really need to start with Dandelion.
Dandelion
For all the genuinely good work the games do with characters, old and new, I don't think I can overstate what a disservice the they've done Dandelion, who I could not stand in TW3, but is now one of my favourite book!verse characters. Alas, Dandelion is a prime example of something the Witcher games really don't do well: camp. Being the archtypical bard, Dandelion is about as flamboyant as any enthusiastically-heterosexual man can be: you should be able to spot this guy by body language alone, he should be flouncing around and he should talk like a spoiled noble auditioning for Shakespeare. Book!Dandelion is over-the-top and ridiculous and just so much fun, and I loved him well before I'd even really gotten into the rest of the books around him.
Here's just a bit of dialogue from one of his first appearances, to give you a sense of how he and Geralt play off each other.
The  bard  seized  the  fingerboard  of  his  lute  and  plucked  the strings vigorously. ‘How would you prefer it, in verse or in normal speech?’ ‘Normal speech.’ ‘As you please,’ Dandelion said, not putting his lute down. ‘Listen then, noble  gentlemen,  to  what occurred  a  week  ago  near  the  free  town  of Barefield. ‘Twas thus, that at the crack of dawn, when the rising sun had barely tinged pink the shrouds of mist hanging pendent above the meadows—’ ‘It was supposed to be normal speech,’ Geralt reminded him. ‘Isn’t it? Very well, very well. I understand. Concise, without metaphors. A dragon alighted on the pastures outside Barefield.’
Though TW3's Dandelion certainly looks the part, you have to go hunting through art from the Gwent cards to find much that comes close to really capturing his personality (see left pic below – though even there, a Dandelion who'd voluntarily break his treasured lute is a very hard sell). Though a lot of fanart does better (right-below – credit goes to Tatiana Ortaliz).
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But as poorly as the games capture his flamboyance, they're not that much better when it comes to taking him seriously. TW3 left me thinking he was all talk and no substance; the books make abundantly clear that he really is renowned enough to be welcome in courts across the continent. Though he often overestimates what he can talk himself out of, he isn’t stupid either: he's lectured at Oxenfurt, spied for Dijkstra, and then there are the moments where the frivolous playboy mask slips and you realise he's sometimes much better at understanding people and relationships than Geralt will ever be (which is honestly kind of funny considering how many of Dandelion’s relationships end with plates being thrown at him from an upper story). He's not at all above mocking Geralt when he deserves it either (and especially his personal and relationship issues) – Geralt will happily mock him right back.
We never do learn how they became friends (I'm pretty sure the incident listed in the wiki is just the date of their first expedition together, not their first meeting), but Geralt just doesn't form lasting friendships or romances with anyone he can't have an intelligent conversation with. And Dandelion is a damn good friend to Geralt – one who, despite being a helpless, squishy little bard, will keep Geralt's secrets under torture, or will follow him into Nilfgaard in the middle of a war simply because you don't let a friend make a trip like that alone. (Seriously, I don’t ship it nearly as much as some, but hot damn there is some material in here if you do.) In short, it's basically inconceivable that he'd leave an amnesic Geralt wandering around Vizima alone, as he does in the first Witcher game – which is the kind of thing I can mostly forgive as a gameplay conceit, only it doesn’t really get better from there.
He’s also supposed to be blond, something I don’t think is technically specified until fairly late in the novels, but 100% what I’d been picturing since his first description as a man in a colourful bonnet with cornflower-blue eyes (let’s face it: Dandelion’s hair isn’t the only thing about him that screams ‘blond’). It’s a shame no-one from the games to the show to the novels’ cover artists seem to have noticed – but at least there are some fanartists out there who were paying attention (credit for these goes to Asphaloth, Ghostcupdraws, Hvit-ravn (tumblr deleted), 94355 and itsmespicaa).
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As for the games? Well, I cannot speak to how Dandelion came across in the original Polish, but I think it speaks worlds about the priorities of the English version that they didn’t even bother to cast someone with a halfway-decent singing voice as their master bard. There are isolated moments of dialogue that come close to sounding like book!Dandelion– mostly in Witcher 2, which comes closer to capturing the spirit of the books than either 1 or 3, or his attempts to convince his captor he's a disguised noble when you rescue him TW3 – but his voice actor is just painfully ill-suited to the role.
Geralt
Geralt fares much better than Dandelion, though he’s still a little hard to square with the Geralt of the books. Book!Geralt spends a lot more time sulking, just to begin with: he sulks because his job is complicated and gets him no respect, and because the world is unjust and unfair – and, most of all, he sulks because Yennefer has dumped him again. He also gets mocked for sulking, and usually deserves it. Book!Geralt is generally a lot more taciturn and a less prone to making smart comments just to have something to say – arguably because in book!Geralt's world, making smart comments often ends at the gallows, or at least with some corrupt official making your life much harder. Book!Geralt's world kind of sucks, and he's just got to put up with it.
As much as he often plays into the expectations of being an uneducated monster hunter, he's also got a more of an intellectual streak than you’d guess. He may prefer to stay out of politics (because damnit, his job is to save people from monsters, not people who are monsters), but he attended school at Nenneke's temple and has even taken classes at Oxenfurt academy, and there's a lot of thoughtful nuance to his opinions – his speech to Ciri about why he can't in good conscience take a stronger stance against the Scoiata'el contains a wealth of historical perspective, just for one example. Even his smart comments tend to be, well, somewhat smarter in the books.
Book!Geralt’s explicitly a lot younger than Yennefer – around 50 is the usual estimate, falling far short of the 100-ish the games suggest (the scandal of having a man fall for – gasp! – an older woman clearly didn’t bother Sapkowski one bit). You don’t see nearly as much "I'm getting too old for this" from book!Geralt, who's really not that old by witcher standards, and is apparently still hunting monsters long into his future. I'm also a little annoyed by the way they play off his hatred of portals like he's a grumpy old man who doesn't like mobile phones, when his distrust originally came from having seen the gruesome deaths that result when portals go wrong. This is not to say Book!Geralt lacks other ordinary human flaws, however – twice in the last two books of the main saga, he gets severely sidetracked after his ego gets the better of him (in the adulation he receives after being knighted, then after arriving in Toussaint), and it's quite some time before he properly gets back on track for that whole rescuing-Ciri thing again. He’s also pretty hopeless when it comes to romance and relationships – breaking things off gracefully is really not in his skillset.
So why does game!Geralt not bother me more? Well, he's the main player character of a game franchise, and one who has to carry the experience largely solo. Some adjustments for genre are pretty much inevitable in that position. He's certainly fared better than Meve, for example, who's been softened far more from her book characterisation for her PC role in Thronebreaker. Then there's the whole amnesia thing – it's easy to believe that sort of experience would change a man – and if he doesn't sulk so much as he used to, maybe he's grown up a bit. Geralt's also in many ways the straight-man of Sapkowski's Witcher universe – there largely as the reliable centre for other, louder personalities to play off. But I expect the real bottom line here is that I do still like game!Geralt enough to forgive him a lot of what he lacks.
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The books never do describe Geralt as being very attractive – something book-based fanart often tries to reflect. The point has been made before that the rather-alien-looking Geralt of the first game (left pic above) is probably a lot closer to his book-description. However, the main distinguishing factor you’ll see in book-based fanart is probably the ubiquitous headband, which genuinely is what book!Geralt wears to make his hair behave (the example on the right above comes from Diana Novich).
All that said, if Sapkowski really wants me to believe that nearly so many women are eager to jump into bed with him, I’m going to have to shallowly assume our witnesses are unreliable on this front, and Geralt is at least as attractive as Witcher 3′s take on him. Nothing else makes sense. *g*
Regis
Regis varies mostly in that book!Regis is a lot more smug, sometimes verging on obnoxious – and a lot keener to make fun of Geralt (who generally deserves it). But then, Regis is old and wise and superpowered enough to dance rings around most everyone else – can you blame him? By Blood and Wine, Regis' overconfidence has been recently smacked down hard after his near-death-experience at the hands of Vilgefortz, and that kind of thing could knock some chips off anyone's shoulder. Throw in the fact that with Dettlaff, we have a situation not even Regis could make light of, and the changes to game!Regis make a certain amount of sense.
I do feel it's a bit of a shame that the vocal direction didn't work just a little bit harder to capture some of Regis' smugger side, or emphasise that his long-winded philosophising on human behaviour is supposed to sound a bit pretentious. This is actually something I suspect they were going for a few times in the script, but which didn't come through in the dialogue quite the way it was meant to. Still, again, I'm sure I'm biased by the fact that I like game!Regis far too much to find much fault in what they've done with him. They've done a lovely job capturing his friendship with Geralt too.
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Looks-wise, there's a tendency in book-based art to portray Regis with long hair (even some pre-Blood-and-Wine Gwent art did so – see the two pics on the left above, from Gwent and early B&W concepts. The right-most pic is cover art from the books). I couldn't rightly tell you where long-haired-Regis comes from, though – perhaps it's described more explicitly in the original Polish, or perhaps it comes up in passing in some passage I've forgotten, though it may just as well just be a fannish meme.
The books do describe him as looking rather like a tax collector, slim, middle-aged, with an aquiline nose, prone to wearing black, and his hair as 'greying' or 'grey streaked', so presumably somewhat younger-looking than the game would have it. The hammer-horror-esque sideburns are likewise a game-verse addition, though I do like the look they went with – it's distinct from Geralt in a way that making him another long-grey-haired man wouldn't have been, and that's probably the point.
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Being the hopeless Regis fan I am, I have quite the folder full of different fanart takes on book!Regis, so have a selection – art here is by gellihana-art, justanor, greysmartwolf, Nastyaskaya, NatalyLanier, beidak, natalliel, ellaine and afternoon63. For what it’s worth, I feel beidak’s (bottom pic, second from the left) comes the closest to what I’d have pictured personally, based on how he’s first described.
Ciri
I find it much harder to rationalise the changes to game!Ciri, who I didn't exactly dislike, but found stuck too close to the role of generic-macguffin-girl-who-just-wants-to-be-normal to be very interesting. Having read the books, not only do I much prefer book!Ciri, I'm not sure I can emphasize enough how much the game did NOT prepare me for utter gauntlet of whump and misery that girl survives in the last four titles. Book!Ciri is a character who works for me mostly because of the same flaws the game mostly strips her free of – TW3 makes some token noise about how you can't tell her what to do, but she’s an utter little royal brat when we first meet book!Ciri, and it’s so much of what brings her to life. She throws herself into her witcher training with the enthusiasm of a kid going completely native, but still revels in getting to be girly for a change when Triss first arrives at Kaer Morhen. She hates Yennefer at first, but soon bonds with her just as strongly as she ever did with Geralt, picking up some of Yennfer’s haughty mannerisms along the way. And then she gets thrown through a portal and lost in the distant wilderness, and the whole world comes down on her head.
The build up to the first time Ciri actually has to kill someone is intense... and things only get worse from there. Steadily. For another couple of novels at a stretch. Seriously, a major caveat that pretty much has to go into any rec for these books (and I will absolutely rec these books) is that Ciri's story gets heavy. So heavy one finds oneself using phrases like, "that time that one guy died of his wounds on top of her while semi-consensually feeling her up was honestly one of the less traumatic incidents in the period."
By the end of the novels, Ciri has nearly died of thirst, been beaten, tied up, dragged around the country as a prisoner, run with bandits and killed innocent people for the fun of it, done fantasy-cocaine and got a tattoo, fought off more than one attempted rape, been drugged, lain for multiple nights next to an impotent elf who completely fails to impregnate her, watched the bodies of her friends and girlfriend being mutilated in front of her, and did I mention where she got that scar? She has survived hell, and it is absolutely a testament to her own strength that she somehow comes through it and puts herself back together at the end. When Geralt finally arrives to rescue her, what matters most isn't that her ordeal is over, but that she finally knows she hasn’t been abandoned by everyone who’d ever loved her after all.
The Ciri of the books is fierce and wild and arrogant, but she's learned her morals from the best, and she holds onto them until she can't, then picks them back up again when she can, and above all she survives. For all that her story turns arguably too much of the last two books into a slog of misery, oh boy does it pay off at the end. And that's probably about as much as I can say about her Big Moment in the last book without spoiling too much, so suffice to say that by the end of the saga, Geralt has pretty much become a supporting character in Ciri's story, not the other way around. (Seriously, you’d be surprised how few chapters of the last two books he’s actually in.)
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Finding art which captures the aspects of Ciri’s character and history which are missing from the game has turned out to be pretty hard, though the fanart above from her bandit phase takes a decent crack at it (credit to Loles Romero and NastyaSkaya). I do rather like that one shot of her on horseback beside her girlfriend too, which comes from Denis Gordeev’s illustrations for the novels (below).
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How much of this does TW3 get across with her portrayal in the game? Well, she's still pretty headstrong, I guess. And they let you give a 'sorry, I like girls' answer in one bit of dialogue, so they remembered her girlfriend existed. That's nice. But game!Ciri still has a kind of wide-eyed innocence that book!Ciri lost years ago, while book!Ciri is a little force of nature in ways the games hardly even hint at, and that's a really shameful loss.
You'd think, with a character so young, it ought to be easier to imagine she's simply grown up since we saw her last, but so much of what's changed about Ciri feels like a step back rather than forwards. I can shrug off Geralt and Regis' differences and still enjoy their game-verse-selves, but Ciri leaves me genuinely disappointed.
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I’d say the official art that comes closest to capturing book!Ciri is that one portrait of her as a very grumpy young child (right above). Some of the early concept art (left above) feels a little more like it has her attitude, though she’s rather too yellow-blonde – not to mention too pretty. I think it also bears pointing out that Ciri isn’t really supposed to be the kind of beauty she is in the game – even before she gets what’s meant to be a seriously ugly and disfiguring scar. (Fanart below by justanor and bobolip)
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But of course, the male gamer fanbase can’t be expected to give a fuck about a girl they wouldn’t want to fuck, so game!Ciri must be generically gorgeous. Le sigh.
Triss
I suppose I should at least touch on Triss, too, though she's a very odd case. She's so out of character in the first Witcher game that I am wryly amused that the biggest thing they arguably do get right is that taking advantage of Geralt the moment he showed up with amnesia is... pretty well in-character for her (look, I gotta be honest here, I'm not much of a fan of Triss in any of her incarnations).
The second game does a much better job with her – she actually feels like book!Triss, she has some good dialogue, we're finally dealing with some of her conflicted loyalties to the Lodge and to Geralt – though by the third, her characterisation has been so softened into “the nice one” that none of that potentially meaty conflict is ever resolved, or even really mentioned. Perhaps there's more buried in the Triss-romance path, which I've never bothered with, but the writers seem to have just given up on dealing with anything that might make her look less than wholly sympathetic. Heck, we hardly even get a clear statement about why she and Geralt broke up between Witchers 2 and 3.
Even speaking as such a not-a-fan of Triss, I promise there is more they could've done with the character the books give us. There's her ongoing trauma in from the Battle of Sodden, where she was injured so badly she was memorialised as one the dead: the 14th of the hill. There's her furious impatience with the neutrality of both the witchers and the Lodge: Triss has fought and died for a cause, and is ready to do so again. The second game sort of gets into this, but by and large, the games really aren't up to tackling the moral complexity of having such a theoretically-sympathetic character as Triss, who was still broadly willing to go along with the Lodge's plans to pair Ciri off and get her pregnant as soon as possible – her own wishes be damned. No, instead, Triss has conveniently left the Lodge before the rest of them go spiraling into abject villainy in the second game, clearing all that messy grey stuff out of the conflict.
Of course, the really big unresolved plot point still hanging over book!Triss is how badly she needs to terms with the fact Geralt's just Not That Into Her, and never has been – but since the games want Triss to be a serious romantic option, that's definitely not getting the resolution it could've used.
Book!Triss also pointedly avoids any outfit with a plunging neckline because her chest is covered with the ugly scars she received in the Battle of Sodden, something the games did not have the guts to reproduce. In a more confusing note, the books do consistently describe her hair as 'chestnut', which we'd usually think of as meaning 'brown' – though it turns out the games actually may not have been wrong to make her a redhead, since in Poland 'chestnut hair' apparently mean dark red hair (google some pictures of actual chestnuts, and you'll see why). Still, the firy-red-haired Triss of TW3 who wears nothing but plunging necklines remains a bit of a stretch, however you slice it. Once again, TW2 gets her best (and I must say, gave her the nicest outfit) – though even here she's conspicuously unscarred in all her sex scenes.
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(Leftmost pic above is official Witcher 2 art, whereas Triss-with-scars fanart comes to us – once again – from nastyaskaya)
Shani
Shani sort of falls into a similar category as Triss as someone who isn't terribly well-served by any of her appearances, given that both exist in the first game largely to compete for Geralt's attentions. But I can't honestly say I find Shani’s portrayal in the Hearts of Stone expansion to be much better – the degree to which either version exists solely to fall all over Geralt is a bit painful, especially given that their relationship in the books is limited to a single, undramatic hook-up. Book!Shani really only appears in a couple of chapters: we meet her as a medical student friend of Dandelion's, who's been surreptitiously selling pilfered university supplies to fund her degree, then later see her again in the final book, where she proves herself as a battlefield medic during the climactic Battle of Brenna. She's pragmatic to a fault, and I really can't see her as the type who needs Geralt to point out to her that her patient is dead, for example, or who'd subject a guy with Geralt's problems to such an extended feelings-dump as you'll get out of her during the wedding.
Shani is a reasonably logical book-character to bring back, if only because she’s one of those who explicitly survives the ending, but for my money, "serious contender for Geralt's affections" is just not a role she works in.
Anna Henrietta
The duchess of Toussaint, Anna Henrietta, is another case who differs more from her book counterpart than you might think. In the books, the duchess is by far the least competent of the (pleasantly many and) various female leaders and rulers we meet – she comes across as rather young and naive, and every bit as absurd as everyone else in the ridiculous fairy-tale duchy she rules. She is, for example, most displeased to learn that Nilfgaard's war against the north is ongoing (something her courtiers have carefully avoided mentioning in her presence), because she'd long since sent the Emperor a stern note demanding he brought it to an end. She promptly has one of her ministers sent to the tower for misinforming her, and demands the others prepare an even sterner note for the emperor, which will surely do the job.
After Dandelion (inevitably) cheats on her, she has him repeatedly sent to the gallows, only to change her mind and send him a reprieve at the very last minute each time. Picture yourself a much younger and prettier version of the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, and you've about got her general vibe.
Blood and Wine sort of waves at this part of her character when she first speaks about Dandelion, and again in suggesting there's a widespread feeling she lacks compassion, and once more as she proves utterly immovable on the subject of her sister. But the generally sensible and insightful woman you deal with for most of the main story is a far cry from her book-verse characterisation. That’s a bit of a shame, because I feel like there's a lot more they could have done to blend the two versions of her. Still, it’s hard to argue the duchess we get suits the story being told around her.
Other characters
Much as I love Yennefer, Dijkstra and Phillipa, I don't really have much more to say about them because I feel the games have done such a good job. The Yennefer of the books gets to show a lot more depth and complexity simply because she has more scenes and more space in which to do so, but when ‘there isn’t more of her’ is your biggest complaint, the game is officially doing pretty well. I could certainly gripe her about how “dresses in black and white” seems to have been taken as “dresses in black with maybe a trace of white trim”, or how Yennefer and Triss seem to be the only sorceresses in the world capable of wearing pants, when Phillipa (just for one) is in sensible men’s clothing the very first time we meet her, but that’s getting into serious nitpicking territory.
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(Not that Yen can’t look amazing in outfits with more white – art by Emily Caroll, theclashofqueens, BarbaraRosiak, and cosplay by greatqueenlina)
Vesimir, Lambert and Eskel, Geralt's fellow witchers from the School of the Wolf, fall into a similar category for me – though we spend far less time with them in the books, everything we see of them in the games feels like a fairly logical extension of their book-roles. Vesimir is somewhat over-played as the old fogey, and his death is painfully cliched, but the impact on the characters and Kaer Morhen still hits home – and the games do some especially great work expanding Lambert into a much more complex character. To my mind, the only shame is that more of the book-original characters didn't get the same treatment.
Who have I missed? There's Avallac'h, of course, but I think I've got him pretty well covered by that last post. Zoltan, perhaps inevitably, has had his personality largely flattened into 'generic dwarf', with nothing better to do than hang around Geralt and Dandelion. You wouldn't know Book!Zoltan was apparently incapable of turning away women and children in need, for example – even human women and children with the chronic inability to say thankyou for his help. Or that he eventually admits to Geralt that the luggage he and his friends are carrying comes from a decidedly unsavoury source for such a supposedly charitable, upstanding guy. Yes, even Zoltan gets to be a morally complicated character in the books – who knew?
Speaking of dwarves, pleased as I am that Yarpen Zigren gets remembered in TW2, he's an odd one to talk about, since even in the books, he appears to have had a substantial personality transplant between his two main appearances. Yarpen’s a largely comedic figure in The Bounds of Reason short story, where he cheerfully admits to having considered letting his men knock down a particularly pompous aristocrat and piss all over him to teach him a lesson, but he’s evolved into a studious voice of reason against the scoiata'el by Blood of Elves. TW2 doesn't do a particularly good job of capturing either version, which I suspect probably bothered me more than most people – I liked the later book-incarnation of Yarpen immensely (and not even just because he's one of few ever to really call Triss out on just how much she needs to stop misreading Geralt's friendship as anything more than it is). His chapter in Blood of Elves packs a hell of a punch.
On the subject of accents
I do have to wonder if I'd have warmed up to characters like Triss, Shani and Dandelion (or even Letho) more if they'd only had halfway decent voice actors. It's not just that none are exactly leading the talent at the acting part of the job, it's that their American accents stick out in TW3 like a sore thumb.
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Geralt mostly gets away his own US accent by dint of being the very first character we meet, so we've gotten used to the way he talks long before we notice how he stands out – hell, maybe that's just how they talk down in Rivia (hilariously, book!Geralt eventually reveals he's not even from Rivia, but simply picked the place and taught himself the accent so he could feel a bit less like the abandoned foundling he is, which only gives us yet more excuse for why his accent might sound a bit weird). More importantly, Geralt is meant to stand out, to be the outsider wherever he goes, so having him sound like no-one else fits the character.
But neither Triss or Dandelion are "of Rivia", and by the time they show up we've had dozens of hours in a game where literally everyone else sounds British, or Scottish, or Irish, or vaguely-eastern-European in the case of the Nilfgaardians. So why do these weirdos sound like no-one else on the continent?
The short answer seems to be that every character with an American accent in TW3 is someone who had an American accent in at least one of the previous games, which were way looser with their casting and had enough incidental American accents around that they didn't stand out. Clearly, by TW3, consistency with prior games has been prioritised over consistency with literally anything else we’re hearing.
Gaetan is an exception to the rule as the only new character (at least that I caught) with an American accent – presumably because between Geralt, Eskel, Lambert, Berengar, and Letho (and cohorts), some sort of 'witchers have American accents' rule has been pretty well established (another random American-accented witcher shows up in Thronebreaker, just to underline the point). We're going to mostly ignore Jad Karadin here, since his British accent is presumably a recent affectation to go with his new identity, and so makes sense.
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This still doesn't really work though, since Letho’s school is all the way down in Nilfgaard (land of the Eastern European accents), while the oldest witcher from Kaer Morhen (Vesimir) is the one guy with a British accent. He sounds nothing like any of his students, despite the fact he's logically the guy they ought to have learned their accents from. So the logic falls in a heap however you slice it, and I'm thrown right out of the game.
With TW3 as your intro to the series, it feels almost as if characters like Triss and Dandelion have been assigned American accents because they're just too important to be saddled with the same pedestrian British accents as everyone else, which did nothing to endear them to me. The only one I eventually warmed up to was Lambert, and then only because he's just such a bitter asshole that he eventually goes full circle and comes out the other side (somewhere around when you've heard his miserable backstory, then gotten drunk together and told him how much you love him, man). Gaetan similarly snuck in under the same clause – American accents clearly work better for me in this series when attached to characters you're supposed to find pretty insufferable on first impressions.
Some final notes
To conclude, it seems only fair to throw in a quick nod to some of the more memorable book-characters who don't appear in the games. Neither Mother Nenneke (Geralt's sort-of-surrogate mother) or Vissena (Geralt's biological mother) ever appear either, alas – Vissena doesn't even merit so much as a Gwent card, which seems quite the wasted opportunity.
Milva, Cahir and Angouleme – the three remaining companions of Geralt’s who died alongside Regis but who were not so easily resurrected – naturally don’t appear. But nor are even really mentioned in all the games, which seems rather less than they deserve after giving their lives to Geralt's cause.
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Cahir and Angouleme do at least have pretty badass Gwent cards to their names, though I am properly offended that Milva (who has the dubious honour of being my very favourite book character who doesn't ever appear in the games) is stuck with a card of her freaking death scene – which not only gets the scene wrong (believe me, there was no grimacing and gripping the arrow buried shallowly in her chest for poor Milva), but doesn't even bother to get her hair the right colour, for fuck’s sake. Basically, Milva was a stone cold badass and absolutely deserves better. #justice4milva
One can only guess how I'd have felt about some of these characters had I read the books before playing the games – I am obviously biased towards forgiving changes to characters whom I liked in their game incarnations, regardless of how they compare. Still, I think it does speak wonders that there still all these characters who suddenly made sense only after I'd met them in the books.
Even if only for Dandelion and Ciri, I can only dream of seeing a bit more of the book-original characterisations make it into the collective fannish consciousness. There's nothing wrong with getting into the canon purely based on the show or the games, but having read Sapkowski's novels, it's no longer any mystery how they spawned this massive franchise. That the saga wasn’t even fully available in English until well after Witcher 3 was released – a solid couple of decades late, and long after it had already been translated into Russian, French, German, Spanish and more – is a real shame. For once, it’s us in the anglophone world who’ve been missing out: these books deserve so much more than to be thought of as a footnote to the games or the show.
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faebriel · 3 years
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ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)
“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.
“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”
That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.
“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”
Her breath catches in her throat.
Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.
and
“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.
And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.
“What else is there?” he asks.
Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -
And then, something in her chest just snaps.
“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”
“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”
“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.
Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.
thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)
to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)
onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.
this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.
and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa
tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)
ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl
(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)
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fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.
wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.
“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.
and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.
sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333
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minalblood · 3 years
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Ok this isnt my usual way of doing things cuz... Well, tbh i dont really care enough to actually make a post bout most things, id just rather reblog shit, but I've now seen several posts comparing the Loki finale with spn's and just... Where?
Spn ended as a show with one of the most hopelessness inducing shit I've ever seen, taking a character thats been consistently seen as at the very least depressed and killing him off with a 'that's what his happy ending looks like' plastered on it, another character who's whole ark was reconciling with himself about who he is only to make him essentially cut half of himself out for a kid and also still be unhappy, and a third who's whole thing was learning what free will is and that he too deserves free will only to have him go back to obeying orders in heaven. It was absolutely against everything the show had portrayed for 15 years, including in the actual season this finale was a part of.
Loki is an on going show (s 2 confirmed), but even if it hadn't been, the shows main narrative themes remained true to the end, Loki did in fact grow as a character, the shows ultimate plot is about free will, tackling also the fact that free will means shit will also happen, its not only roses and happiness and Sylvie stuck to her actual goal and achieved it, aka killing whoever was behing the TVA. Loki's goal throughtout the show wasn't killing the Time keepers, it was having the free will to write his own life story and he's done and doing exactly that, sometimes that means shit happens, no characters died needlessly in my opinion and as I've said, in no way did it go against its own themes that it established initially. Not to mention the fact again that it's ongoing!
Finally to touch on what people are really complaining about (the more vocal post I've seen circulating, I've no doubt some people just genuinely didn't like it and thats fine) which is the Sylvie/Loki thing. Ok lets discuss. Firstly, if it's not ur thing that's entirely fine, its not mine either, but to claim it's a problem for u cuz it's, as Ive seen multiole people say, heteronormative is hella problematic to me since it seems to erase the fact that both characters by their own words are bi/pan. That's shitty. Number 2: 'if Sylvie was male presenting they wouldn't have gone there'... Now while I do think Marvel/Disney wouldnt likely have the balls, I still find issue with this statement since it feels very... Sexist to me. I dunno what exactly about it, but it very much reads like y'all would not complain bout the pairing if Sylvie was male presenting more so than a dig at Marvel/Disney and that is not cool with me. And finally, C the selfcest thing as incest stand-in. Ok so I get that selfcest aint for everyone, which again, fair point if u just dont vibe at all, but the actual issues people seem to have is less with it being selfcest and more that its not mlm, which is highly hypocritical. Now to the people who do just dislike it for being basically incest, ur perogative, ur view , but I'd've hoped that the whole multivers aspect of this show could've made it clearer that while they are variants of each other they are not actually the same person. Also also since the spn parallel is what began this, to the spn fans I ask, how tf can y'all not see this, the multuple versions of Sam and Dean alone should have you realize it's someones history, experience, surroundings, accuaintances that mould a person. We don't even know for sure if they share parents! Its a dif universe they've been born in, oddly enough that means they couldn't be more physically different, even if they may share some personality traits or some history between them. Again, i dont ship it, it feels awkward to me based on their interactions, but that doesnt mean imma say some bullshit bout incest just cuz I dont like the idea. Fact is they're not actually related and, as an aside, the would u fuck ur clone talk has been around for ages with little issues about incest because its already covered in the meme as is the pollar opposite.
Ok this was rambly and well, hopefully some of my points have been made clear. To end I just wanna say I do look forward to season 2, I can't wait to see Mobius and Loki reacquaint now that we have a Mobius that doesnt remember/know Loki it'll be a nice juxtapose to their relation this season (yes i ship it, whatever) and also also wanna see what's gonna happen with Kang overall and with Sylvie. She wasn't having a good time there.
Edited below:
So quick add, I just realised why the comparison fucks with me so much more than other shit and it's cuz it reduces both finales to shipping, thats why it annoys me, it essentially undermines Loki's whole arc and reduces it to shipping and it also undermines just how bad spn ended and why its bad since it also reduces it to a ship. Neither are bad or good because of a ship being canon or not on its own and seeing this comparison makes it seem very much like thats the reason spn ended bad and equally makes Loki ending bad because of course it would if the ship didnt go the way you wanted it. But thats not the way to measure a show like Loki or Spn, or at least def not the only measurement to apply for the end conclusion.
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so I wrote most of this...four days ago, and then somehow didn’t get around to finishing it until just now, which feels super weird because after writing this I started getting worried about future episodes again for a variety of reasons, and of course now we’re at T minus 10 minutes? (honestly if I’m somehow late for my own funeral I’m pretty sure no one will be surprised.) but I still wanted to post this to go over some of what I liked so much about episode 4, even if...I am no longer anywhere near as confident as I was a few days ago about where the show might be going. whatever.
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I’ve done almost nothing for the past day or so except chew over episode 4 some more, partly trying to figure out why I liked it so much when it was broadly very divisive, and I realized that a lot of what I’ve been feeling from this episode is relief.
the thing is I’ve been paranoid since at least Infinity War about Marvel doing setup that looks like it’ll lead to a big payoff and then nothing (Loki’s death, but also Gamora’s and maybe Vision’s, and the general fact that the “fix” to IW was convoluted, took place much later, and caused as many problems as it solved, and just, Endgame in general), so I don’t really trust Marvel that way anymore. plus Marvel has pretty badly fumbled a lot of different things in the past, especially on various social issues, by introducing unfortunate implications that apparently didn’t occur to them even though they’re obvious to literally everyone else...stuff like Thanos’s “sacrifice” of Gamora, or how the Flag-Smashers were portrayed and Karli was a villain for no real reason, or how it would’ve been so easy to add a couple lines in WandaVision that would fix the whole thing where the Maximoffs weren’t just whitewashed but they also voluntarily worked with Nazis and they whiffed that too. 
so, while I’ve been enjoying the show, a lot of that enjoyment has been based on meta I’ve seen and me sort of going “this interpretation is really cool and it makes a lot of sense, but at this point I can’t know if it’s something the showrunners are doing on purpose or if they sorta accidentally implied depth where there wasn’t any and it’s not actually leading anywhere” with things like the TVA being very clearly authoritarian but also supposedly the good guys, Loki being constantly described as an awful person, Loki sometimes being manic or incompetent, etc. etc. etc., along with the similar interpretation of “sure, we fans know all this stuff about how Loki is not an awful person actually, thanks, and the people who arrested him aren’t automatically Good Guys just because they’re in opposition to him but casual viewers--including not-casual-but-not-fannish viewers who should really know better--have not figured any of this out and so the show needs to go out of its way to demonstrate things that are obvious to us” but I wasn’t sure. the second half of episode 1 made me feel pretty good about where the show was headed as far as Loki’s characterization and emotions were concerned, but the more lighthearted aspects of 2 and 3 had me wondering again.
so then what happens in this episode?
the TVA goes fully mask off. the Time-Keepers are in fact fake, the Sacred Timeline by extension is also basically fake, the people who work there are all variants, the ones we know (C-20, B-15, Mobius) show grief and anger over the lives that were stolen from them, Sylvie is arrested as a child who did absolutely nothing wrong (and then put through the same process Loki was in episode 1, which is cool because a lot of it was kinda played for laughs then but showing the same things happening to an innocent child also serves to reframe what happened to Loki as, hmm, not that funny after all maybe!), Renslayer is willing to prune innocent people--friends and coworkers, even--just because they learned too much, all the sinister propaganda WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SINISTER
Loki gets very serious very fast in this episode. he displays a lot of genuine emotion and trauma but he mostly does it in a calculated way that shows just how fast his brain works and how he’s always, always thinking about what other people want/expect from him. (like--even the complaint about too few guards seems to fall into that category, given that he only says it after Mobius insists he must be wanting to make some kind of quip!) his self-image is garbage but through Sylvie he’s starting to maybe work on that. he goes up against multiple armed enemies while completely unarmed and holds his own until he gets a weapon. he pushes back when it matters and doesn’t just accept everything Mobius throws at him. he lies, pretty competently (the fact that Mobius doesn’t believe him is...really not his fault, considering Mobius wouldn’t believe him at first about the truth either, so I’m pretty sure he wasn’t planning to believe anything Loki outright told him), when it actually matters, primarily in what sure seems like an attempt to protect someone he cares about.
and Mobius. says that Loki WAS RIGHT. ABOUT THE TVA. FROM THE BEGINNING!!! I would still love to hear him say explicitly, look, I said a lot of shitty things to you and tossed in some actual physical torture at the end there oops but the vast majority of it was stuff I didn’t really mean and was only saying to get a reaction and/or information and of course it turns out I was wrong about all the TVA stuff, so I want to say for the record that I was wrong about you personally in many different ways and I’m sorry. (which, honestly, would probably be very awkward for both of them because I doubt Loki has much experience receiving genuine apologies.) but I’m mostly okay with it if he doesn’t, because I feel like you were right from the beginning, and by the way you can be whatever you want does a decent job of implying most of that. (...enough for casual viewers to pick up on it? well, I’m not hoping for miracles but sure, probably some of them.)
in other words? all that stuff the casual viewers were missing (not helped by misleading statements from the showrunners), about the TVA so clearly being bad guys, and Loki being a pretty decent person who presents different versions of himself in different situations and also has some shitty coping mechanisms, and the other Loki variant also not being evil just because they were trying to take down the TVA? we were right. that is, in fact, how the showrunners intended all those things to be taken. they didn’t want to come right out with that stuff at first because they wanted to tell a story and have some twists, and the fact that these things were twists for casual viewers is exactly why it was frustrating to a lot of fans, because it felt like obvious things were being misrepresented or overlooked. I still think that’s reasonable, because see above on why Marvel doesn’t necessarily deserve that trust, but at this point I’m a lot more comfortable believing that this specific show more or less knows what it’s doing.
I mean, yeah, there were some cool fan theories that went nowhere, like the whole thing with the broken TemPad, and I agree that was dumb and it’s very annoying that it really was just sloppy writing, but I guess specific things like that just...don’t bother me as much as more systemic, overarching elements like the characterization of Loki and the TVA. and yes, of course I’ll always be annoyed that we’re apparently never going to get explicit confirmation that Loki’s alliance with Thanos was coerced at best. but, you know, what we got isn’t nothing. 
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