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#(i am going into second year just to be clear lol sorry my fault! i'm terrible at articulating myself!)
youreamonocoque · 2 years
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I literally started uni not knowing anyone. I knew nobody on my course or in my uni flatshare. But don't worry too much cos I made some really great friends once lectures started and I wasn't lonely after about 2 weeks. I know uni is stressful but that's what bonds people on the course together y'know. Hope you have a good time :)
I'm going into second year with some really solid friends that aren't on my course (or even at my uni so lol) but I was worried about going back and doing the whole 'oh shit i made no friends in first year' but it's whatever y'know? I'm chill about it now, it's not like i can magic a friend up out of nowhere. Just gonna go with the flow, maybe push myself a little socially but it is what it is and all that.
Not to be incredibly cringe but YOLO right?
(Just gonna ignore the group presentation that they want us to do midway through semester...)
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deathbyyoongx · 10 months
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everytime; chapter 5 — myg
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╭ chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ...
╭ word count: 6.6k
╭ summary: Everyone knew Min Yoongi as the guy who wouldn't say no to a nice pair of tits. His cocky attitude and stunning looks made it hard for most girls to resist. And even though you would like to say you're not like the others in that aspect, you unfortunately happened to be his ex. But even though you despised his guts for the last 3 years or so, he somehow managed to find himself a way between your legs on one semi-drunk night.
╭ pairing: fuckboy!yoongi x ex!reader
╭ genre: smut, angst, bit of fluff, more smut
╭ warnings: enemies to fwb, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, jealous ex!jungkook, bestfriend!jimin, hate sex, yoongi has a degrading kink but so does yn, brat taming, hair pulling, spitting, slapping, hickeys, choking, unprotected sex (STAY SAFE GUYS!), creampie, praise kink, hand kink, possessive yoongi, sexual content ofc, mentions of drinking, ...
╭ author's note: this fic is inspired by the song everytime by ariana grande. I also recommend using the chrome extension InteractiveFics for a better reading experience ;)
I know it's been a while since I updated this fic, but when I tell you a lot happened with me this year, I really mean it lol. But hey, I'm back :) <3 I haven't reread this chapter, so there may be typos.
03/08/2023
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“Taehyung has been snoring the whole night, I can’t.” Jimin complained as he took another bite of his sandwich.
“I’m sorry I have a stuffy nose.” Taehyung pouted, his mouth still full of food.
Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin have been roommates ever since college. At first, they shared a place to cut the budget of their rent, but now they are just too lazy to search for something else. Even though, I think they enjoy living together and just use it as an excuse now.
Jimin took a sip of his drink. “Jungkook slept through the night though.”
Taehyung waited for you to add something to the conversation, but he noticed your absent mind ever since you guys lunched together. “You don’t seem excited to see us.” He frowned.
You snapped out of your thoughts, quickly shaking your head in disagreement. “I am just-“ You couldn’t find words to add.
“I see you recovered quickly from being sick.” Jimin said, lips curled into a smirk, making it very clear to you that he knew it was just bullshit.
Taehyung took a bite of his sandwich. “Yeah, I heard you were very sweaty.” He said innocently, not knowing the underlining truth behind Jimin’s comment.
“I…was indeed, yes.”
Jimin thought for a second, wondering if he should say what he was about to say. “I don’t want to be that guy, but you should really talk with Jungkook. The guy has been very on edge lately.”
Of course, Jungkook again. “It’s not my fault he’s like that.” Even though it felt like it was though. And the more you started to think about it, it really felt like your fault.
“Yeah, I know. But the least you could do is text him a ‘leave me alone’ instead of not responding at all.” Jimin explained. Ever since Hoseok’s party, You started to respond very drily or not even at all to Jungkook’s texts. You really had no good excuse as to why you’ve been so absent lately, especially since Jungkook knew your work schedule. ‘You’ve never been so busy, do you have a new hobby?’ Areone of the things he would ask you. Sometimes you just wanted to text him a quick and short ‘shut up’, but that would just add more fuel to the fire.
He had a point.
“I will.” Even though you said you would, you were still not sure if you’d actually do it. Jungkook had the habit to keep asking questions and you were not a great liar. And the more he’d ask, the more suspicious he’d get about what truly happened that night.
Taehyung noticed that there was a lot on your mind. “If you want to, you can come over to our place tonight. We’re going to watch that weird movie that Jin has been suggesting for the last few weeks.” He suggested, hoping it would get your mind off of things for a moment.
However, his question made the nerves kick in. “I-uhm can’t.” Clearing your throat as you said that, before taking a quick sip of your water.
Jimin narrowed his eyes, feeling a bit suspicious. “How come?”
Help me find the right excuse, someone. “I have uhm-plans.”
“Why are you stuttering so much?” Taehyung asked innocently as usual.
“With whom?” Jimin asked, but his gut feeling already knew with whom.
You just started to play with the leftover food on your plate, twirling it around with your finger like a toddler, not looking at either one of the boys. “Just…someone.” The silence after you denied to give any more information became a bit too unbearable for you. You sighed and looked up to look at them. “You’re not letting me leave until I tell you, huh?”
“Of course not.” They said in unison.
You hesitated for a sec. “Just don’t go around telling everyone, alright?”
“Come one y/n, we’re not teenagers anymore.” Jimin said to convince you.
“Okay…”It’s no big deal, right y/n? You’re just going out with your ex, nothing wrong with that. “I’m going out with Yoongi tonight.” The painful silence after that statement was killing you.
Shit.
“Wait…” Jimin said as his mind started to connect the dots. “So the guy you hooked up with the night of Hoseok’s party was Yoongi?!”
Taehyung almost choked on his drink. “They hooked up?!” He then thought for a second. “I’m surprised, but also, I’m not.”
“Are you guys going to get back together?” Jimin asked, almost sounding concerned. You low-key started to regret your confession.
What was your answer to this question? “No, I don’t think so-“ The question seemed to linger around your head. Were you? Was that what you wanted? Would Yoongi even want to get back together? I mean, the man can’t seem to keep it in his pants. Think about all those girls who probably have an unrequited crush on him, they would all pray for your downfall. And most importantly, Jia, how could you go back to work if she’d found out?
Confusion spread over Jimin’s face. “What do you mean you don’t think so?”
You were starting to get fed up with these questions which where you did not know the answers to yourself. “Look, Yoongi doesn’t seem to be interested in a relationship right now,” You say slightly annoyed. “Or so I’ve heard.” You noticed Taehyung and Jimin looking at you with a doubtful look. “And I can live with that.” You reassured.
“Can you though?” Taehyung asked a bit skeptical.
“Look if I get my heart broken it won’t be anyone’s fault but mine.” They noticed you started to get more and more defensive by the second.
“You’re out of your mind.” Jimin added.
A worried gaze started to appear on Taehyung’s face. “Does Jungkook know?”
“Of course he doesn’t.” You said defeated. “I’m not obligated to tell him.”
Taehyung and Jimin exchanged a worrisome glance at one another before turning back to you. “Look I get where you coming from, but he won’t take it that way.” Jimin explained.
“I know.” Ever since that night, a feeling of dread started to eat you up from the inside. You felt guilty, even though you shouldn’t. You told Jungkook multiple times you were just friends, but people continue to be protective about his feelings. But what about your feelings? “I’ll just…tell him myself. He needs to hear it from me you know.” You said defeated. Taehyung nodded in agreement, but Jimin just gave you an awkward smile, knowing this won’t end well.
What have I done to myself?
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Work stalled and the only thing you could focus on was the ticking sound of that dreadful clock. Yoongi was planning to pick you up from work after your shift, but the idea of Jia still walking around on the work floor made you nervous as hell. How were you going to explain to her that her casual fuckbuddy used to be your boyfriend and that ever since a few days ago, you started seeing him again? The more and more you started to think about this situation, the more fucked it seemed to be. The clock hit 5 ‘o clock, which meant it was your time to head home. You quickly checked if you missed anything on your to-do list before checking out. You quickly freshened up, and if anyone was watching you right now it looked like you were running late for something. But in reality, you just didn’t want anyone to see you looking like this. Because you hated to admit it, but you did pick your best outfit for tonight. You quickly fixed your makeup and walked out of the changing room.
To your surprise, Yoongi had been waiting inside the café for you. He was wearing a nice dark blue dress shirt and black trousers. Yoongi told you to wear something nice, but not overly formal, so you just chose a nice top in combination with a skirt. And when he noticed the effort you had put in for him, a sly smile appeared on his face. “You look good.”
Your cheeks were getting a bit flushed by his compliment. “Thanks.” You looked around a bit stressed as you walked up to Yoongi, making him frown his eyebrows, wondering why you were behaving so anxious. “Let’s go though.”
“You seem to be in a hurry, but not for the right reasons.” Yoongi said as if he could read your mind. “Worried Jia will see us, huh?”
You forced a smile as you linked your arm to Yoongi’s. “Let’s just go.” You repeated. Yoongi just scoffed but did as he was told since he didn’t want to piss you off already.
Your mission of nobody of work seeing you leave with Yoongi was successful, making you feel more at ease. Yoongi let you to his car and to your surprise it was a very nice one, coming from someone that doesn’t give two shits about cars. He opened the door for you, giving you a small smile as you hopped in. He closed the door and you didn’t know why, but your anxiety was getting the best of you. Who were you kidding, of course you knew. You were going on a date with your hot ex that everyone seemed to either want or hate.
You stepped into his car, but before starting the engine he turned to you, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “Relax, it’s just me.” He placed his hand on your thigh, slightly caressing it to ease the tension.
You expect your uneasiness to be that obvious. “I know, that’s the problem.” Why did I say that?
You thought Yoongi was going to snap back at you, but instead, he just smiled. “If it makes you feel any better, you’ve done this before.” He said in a joking manner in combination with a wink, making you smile as well as memories of your past relationship flooded through your mind.
Yoongi started the engine and began driving, and what I sight to see it was. Seeing him drive shouldn’t be that attractive, but here we are. The older he got, the more handsome he got. You still remembered that shy quiet guy from high school, one that was not capable of being such a player. But look at him now, he had grown into a man, and what kind of man…One that women can’t seem to get enough from.
“Jimin and Taehyung were quite surprised when I told them we were going out tonight.” You said to break the silence.
Yoongi tilted his head in a slight surprise, his eyes still focused on the road. “You told them about us?” He almost didn’t believe it.
You rolled my eyes and chuckled. “It was hard not to. Especially after Jimin found out about the hickeys you had left on me.”
He proudly smiled at the thought of that. “My hard work shouldn’t go unnoticed.” He joked, making you smile at his stupid comment. “You seem to have covered them well though.” He added, noticing the lack of love bites on your neck, even though he knew they were still lingering.
You couldn’t help but pout as he said that. “Yeah, because of you I have to wake up earlier to cover them up with concealer.” You whined, making his heart melt by the way you said that.
“Cute.” He whispered under his breath. “I guess I’ll apologize for the inconvenience.” He said oddly formally, making you well aware he didn’t really mean it.
This was nice, you thought to yourself, but then your mind decided to ruin it for you again. Don’t feel special, he’s probably like this with all those other girls. Overthinking had become your specialty over the couple of years, especially when it was around the topic of ‘Min Yoongi.’ And now it had become a threat to fully enjoying your night. As you were staring out of the window, you started to notice the streets were getting oddly familiar. You narrowed your eyes as you carefully examined the buildings and street signs, trying your best to recognize why it all felt so familiar. But that’s when it hit you…
“Wait, are we…” You softly spoke, almost inaudible to Yoongi, but just loud enough for him to hear. However, he didn’t say anything and just started smiling at himself until you arrived. And that’s when your speculation got confirmed. A small restaurant hidden in the city, the outside covered with plants and fairy lights. “Oh my god, Yoongi.” It was the place where you had your first date.
Yoongi parked the car before he asked. “Don’t like it?” He was a bit unsure if this was the right move.
“No, I…do.” You were in awe as you looked a the place with wide eyes. “It is the same as how I remember it.” You smiled, turning to him, seeing his eyes were already on you. Shit. You were feeling those damn butterflies again.
“I’m glad you like it.”
As Yoongi and you stepped out of the car, you couldn’t help but get a little bit emotional about this place. Not only did you have your first date here, but many dates after that. You came so often that the boss started to recognize you every time you came, even stopping by sometimes to join in your conversations. A soft smile painted your face the more you thought of it, the feeling of nostalgia hugging you.
“Wait-“ Yoongi spoke before you walked in, gently pulling you in for a kiss. “Now we can go.”
This man…
The waitress outside greeted you with a bright smile as Yoongi asked if there was still a spot free for you two. She let you to a free table outside and you two happily sat down. “I don’t know why, but being here again is kind of weird.” You opened the menu, seeing nothing had changed from the last time you two ate here.
“I know right.” He chuckled, happy he had chosen this date idea. “Just pick whatever, I’ll pay.”
“It’s fine, Yoongi. I don’t care about these gender roles-”
“I don’t either, but I want to pay.”
You looked up from the menu for a second, noticing two piercing eyes looking at you. Your eyes widen, frozen in your current pose as your eyes met hers. Oh no…The woman quickly walked over to your table. Oh no…
“I thought I recognized you two! I haven’t seen you in ages, I thought you had moved to another city or something.” The old lady spoke with joy, almost sounding emotional at the sight of you. “It warms my heart you two are still together. How have you been?”
You moved your eyes over to Yoongi, not sure how to respond to this. However, he just smiled at her, ignoring the fact you were unsure what to do. “Yeah, we both were just so busy the last couple of years, plus we also wanted to save up some money to move out so that’s why. But luckily we finally found a free slot in our busy schedules to enjoy some time together again at our favorite place.”
You’ve never heard so much bullshit coming from someone’s mouth at once. However, Miss Kang was completely eating this up. “I’m happy to see you again. Can’t believe it’s been so long, you’ve really grown into adults, it’s making me slightly emotional even.” Were those tears in her eyes? “I’ll let you two be for now, enjoy the food!”
With a tilted head, you looked back to Yoongi, giving him a ‘what-was-that’ kind of look. He just shrugged his shoulders. “If you want to tell her the truth, go ahead. But then you’ll break a poor lady’s heart.” He said to toy with you, holding onto his chest as if his heart hurt.
“I don’t think I have the heart to do so.” I said, putting on my best act to sound emotional, making Yoongi chuckle.
Shockingly enough, there wasn’t a moment where you two fought or anything close to that. This was actually…really nice. But your mind knew its way to ruin it for you again. He better have not brought any other girls to this place…But then again, if he did, the owner wouldn’t have been so surprised to see us. Stop thinking! Just enjoy this for a second. You barely went out lately. It had just been work, work, and more work. Taking on more shifts you could actually handle. Jimin liked to tease you for it, saying you barely had any time for him and the boys. He then would follow up with a fake cry and dabbing away his fake tears.
The night flew by, and how darker the night got, the brighter the fairy lights shone. It seemed like a scene out of a movie, how romantic. After dinner, Yoongi invited you to his apartment, and not to do any funny business perse, he quickly added after suggesting that. So after him paying for your food, a car ride, and some more flirting, you two were standing in front of his apartment complex. You looked up at it in awe, seeing it must have cost a nice amount of money…
“You live…here?” You ask, almost in denial that this was where Yoongi lived.
He was searching for his keys as the two of you head inside. “What? I’ve been working hard.” He said nonchalantly as he noticed your wide eyes. And that’s when you realized…Yoongi didn’t live in an apartment, this was a penthouse. “Don’t forget, when you were still in college, I was starting to create a name for myself, so this just didn’t happen in one two three. And it’s not the biggest around, so no need to be so in shock.”
“But still!” You didn’t care if it wasn’t the biggest or the most luxurious, it was still something you could never afford with your café money. The two of you took the elevator to the seventh floor and you couldn’t hide your amazement at Yoongi’s living space. “No wonder girls like to spend the night with you.” You said without putting much thought behind it.
He just scoffed. “Are you saying my wonderful personality isn’t enough for them?”
You rolled your eyes and smirked. “I bet it is.”
Yoongi opened his front door, letting you into his penthouse. “Ladies first.” You stepped your first foot in and already were impressed by how nice it looked inside. It was decorated with a lot of dark and wood undertones, but you didn’t expect anything else from him. You awkwardly stood in his living room, waiting for him to say “Please, take a seat. Make yourself at home.” You carefully sat down on his sofa, watching Yoongi walk over to his liquor cabinet, and pour a drink both for him and you. He walked back to you with two glasses in his hand. “Drink up, It’ll help you loosen up.” He said as he handed over the alcoholic drink. “So tell me, how has y/n’s life been doing ever since she and Min Yoongi broke up.” Yoongi placed down the liquor bottle and placed himself next to you, nonchalantly putting his arms around your shoulders.
You couldn’t help but chuckle at his weird way of asking that. “Well-” You spoke “After graduating, I just continued working at the café. And to be honest, I really enjoy it there. I’ve even been considering opening one myself, but first I need to do some more research and save up some more money to do that.”
“So you tell me, all those nights you were busy studying instead of going out, were all for a bachelor you ended up not using?” He teased. “So all those nights you could’ve been spending the night with me-”
“Augh, shut up!” You interrupted.
Yoongi laughed before taking another sip from his drink. “I’m joking, getting a bachelor’s degree in the first place is really impressive. And I’m just happy you found something that you like doing.”
“Thank you.” You smile, circling your finger on the rim of the glass. “I see your music producing has gotten you far.”
Yoongi always stayed humble. “I just got lucky, it took me a while to get here.”
“I’m not surprised though, you always had talent. I think it was just a matter of time for you to be successful.” When you said that, you spoke from the heart. On Yoongi’s free days, he would spend the night at your dorm, making you listen to whatever draft he had worked on that day. You always loved it, no matter if it was a biased opinion or not. You just felt confident he was meant to be successful.
“Is that why you’re back?” He teased. “I always knew you were a gold digger.”
“Augh-“ You playfully sighed. “You know that’s not true.” You took another sip from your drink, noticing yourself getting more lightheaded. “Does that occur often? Girls just wanting you for your money?”
“No, this all just happened recently. They are always impressed though.” Another sip. “Besides, I don’t have enough to be someone’s sugar daddy, if that’s what you’re thinking about.”
“You’ve made yourself quite the subject around the girls I know.”
“Did I?” You smirked, not because he felt proud about being the number one topic in Jia’s friend group, but more out of sheer curiosity. “Tell me more.”
“Well, especially Jia. One time she was even telling me about how great the size of your dick was.” A sign of you getting more and more intoxicated by the minute, was the fact you started to say everything unfiltered. “It drove me nuts, especially because I could imagine every single detail she described.” You said with a look of disgust. “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.” You say, turning to Yoongi with wide eyes and your hand covering your mouth.
However, he found this rather amusing. “No, no, it’s fine. Please, continue.” He chuckled. “Didn’t expect I was such a hot topic.”
“She also told me some of her friends had done the deed with you. Can’t believe you.” You said with rolling eyes before emptying your glass. “They talk about you in a way that I could never imagine.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“They act as if you’re this sex god or something.” You say with a confused expression on your face. “I’ve heard them talk about you once and I never knew people could say such filthy things in one sitting. You really got them wrapped around your finger, I got to give you that.”
Yoongi just laughed, a bit embarrassed to be honest. He noticed your face getting redder by the minute, and not because you were embarrassed, but because of the alcohol. “Your mind probably thinks, fuck, not that bastard again.” He said jokingly, even though he knew there was some truth behind it.
You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. “Initially, it does.” Your smile faded into a softer one as you reminisce about the former version of Yoongi. “But then I think about how you were in high school. That sweet boy in the back of the class who was even too shy to ask me out.” The smile Yoongi noticed appearing on your face made him feel appreciated, since now he knew how you really thought about him whenever his name got mentioned. “I only started to think you were a bastard after we broke up the first time.”
Yoongi just scoffed as he took another sip of his drink. “That’s when it all went south.” He laughed. “I guess I’ll have to show you the best of me from now on.” He teased as he eyed down your glass, noticing the lack of liquor left in it. “Should I pour more for you?”
You happily nodded as you handed him your glass. “Yes please!” He just smiled as he went back to his cabinet to fill your glass for round two. You just studied Yoongi’s anatomy as he was pouring the drink. How his shirt accentuated his back muscles, how broad his shoulders became as he got older, or how beautiful his long black hair was. What a sight to be seen. Yoongi turned back around, handing back your drink as he sat down next to you, in the same position as before. He took another sip from his drink, something obviously gnawing on his conscious.
That’s when he decided to ask it. “How are things between you and Jungkook?”
You couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy whenever Jungkook’s name got mentioned in conversations. Especially since you got together with Jungkook after the break up with Yoongi…“Good, we’re best friends now.” But you noticed the weird look Yoongi gave you after you gave your answer. “What?”
“Nothing.” He quickly said to shrug off any suspicion. “Why did you guys break up though?”
“Eh, it’s my turn to ask a question now” You didn’t want to keep talking about Jungkook anymore, especially when it came to Yoongi. Why would you want to be honest about your emotions?
Yoongi was a bit taken aback by your reaction. “Didn’t know we were taking turns. But all right, go ahead.”
You felt your heartbeat increase by the question that was lingering in your head. “How many other girls are you seeing beside me.”
Yoongi moved a bit closer to you. “Wouldn’t you like to know, huh?” He said he locked his eyes onto yours, noticing the seriousness on your face. “Well, that’s private.”
Your eyebrows frowned as he said that. “Private?!” You said baffled.
“Hmh? What? Aren’t you the one being secretive about us too?” He asked in the most unserious tone.
“fine”
He chuckled before emptying his glass as well. “Now, back to my former question. Why did you two break up?”
“Uhm.” The thing was, no matter how much alcohol you drank, there was no way in hell that you could tell him the real reason you broke up with Jungkook. Oh, I quickly discovered that he was just a rebound and that I was actually still in love with you. But when I wanted to get back together, you were already busy fucking half the girls of the town. So I just came to the conclusion we weren’t meant to be to start with. Yeah right. t“We just didn’t match.”
“That’s all?”
“Yup.”
Yoongi would’ve believed you if you said that statement in full confidence. But the mixture of you waiting too long to respond and saying your sentence with hesitation made it very clear to him that there was something you weren’t telling him. But he also knew he wasn’t going to get it out of you tonight. “Alright then.”
After your second glass, you realized you really shouldn’t have had another one. Because unsurprisingly enough, you couldn’t really handle alcohol that well. “Can you kiss me now though? I’ve been dying for you to give me another one but without much success.” You tried to say in your most seductive tone, but due to your drunkenness, it came out a bit funny.
“So needy all of a sudden, huh?”
“Hmh, kissy kiss please.” You pouted your lips like a fish as you leaned into Yoongi to plant one on him.
Yoongi frowned his brows as he suddenly backed away from you, a sinister smirk formed on his lips. “Wait, are you drunk already?” He said bewildered, not believing anyone could easily get that drunk.
You scoffed. “You’re a silly man with silly questions. I don’t think I am. Which means we can take this further, right tiger?” Stroking your index finger from his chest to just above his groin.
He shook his head in disbelief. “Alright, You’re drunk y/n”
“Maybe a little.”
“Well, I’m not, so there won’t be any funny business tonight.” You suddenly felt the touch of his hands around your wrist, holding your hand back from touching him any further.
“Heh!” You couldn’t believe it. “But you know I like to fuck when I’m drunk.”
Yoongi couldn’t help but smile out of embarrassment, not expecting you to have said that. Min Yoongi being a bit shy? “I know, but it’s weird when I’m sober.”
“But I’ve been dying to kiss you, touch you, fuck you.” You leaned in even closer to Yoongi, the distance between your faces being minimal, hoping this would reel him in.
But to your disappointment, it didn’t work. “I’m flattered, really, but don’t worry I won’t be going anywhere soon.”
You pouted, your heart aching from the idea that he didn’t want to touch you. How dare he. “Can we just hug then?”
“Hugging is fine.”
You quickly wrapped your arms around Yoongi, pressing your cheek against his chest, appreciating the softness of his shirt. You were listening to his heartbeat as if it were a lullaby. With every thump the relaxer you got. “I haven’t spoken to you for three years and it feels like yesterday we were together.” You mumbled.
“Weird huh?” He said softly.
Something in you wanted to tell him you missed him, but your little heart couldn’t get itself to do it. It would’ve made you too vulnerable and you didn’t want to ruin this moment to speak up about your complicated feelings for Yoongi. It could mean absolutely nothing to him, but you were just happy to be able to lay in his arms tonight. Cause after tonight, you knew he was just going to the next girl on his list. But the sudden feeling of his thumb caressing your arm as he held you made your eyes water. He wasn’t talking, just watching admiring you. The silence felt far from awkward. It was more comforting than something else.
You felt your eyelids getting heavy though. “Would you have a problem with me if I fell asleep right now?”
Yoongi chuckled, not surprised you were already going to crash. “Of course not”
“We’ll the chance of that happening is very high.” You mumbled. “Why do you smell so good.” You said it as if it was a bad thing. Which for you kind of was, because it made you crave for more of him. You looked up to him and when his eyes met yours, a smile appeared on your face out of reflex. “You’re so beautiful.”
The moment you said that, you saw Yoongi’s features soften up. His eyebrows turned into a pleading kind of expression, his eyes twinkling and his mouth slightly open. “Oh y/n…” He said as if his heart was hurting.
“What?”
He let out a defeated sigh as he tucked a strand of your hand behind your ear. “Nothing. I’m just happy to see you again.” You saw his pupils move from one place to another as he was examining your face like a work of art. “Maybe we should head to bed.”
“Ooh, we?” You teased, still trying to get him to do all those things he said he would over the phone.
“Come on.” He moved up from his seat, reaching his hand for you to take it, which you did in seconds, of course. He led you to his bedroom, seeing how luxurious it looked, making you even madder he didn’t want to do anything with you tonight. “I’ll give you my shirt to sleep in.” He walked over to his closet, grabbed a black shirt, and handed it to you.
You accepted it in full grace, happy to be wearing his clothes again. He used to do this as well when you came to his place three years ago. It almost felt like a privilege. “Turn around though.”
“Are you serious?” Yoongi said appalled, almost sounding offended. Not because he really wanted to see you naked or something, but rather because he had seen you naked multiple times, Hoseok’s party excluded. But he just guessed because it had been a long time, you had lost that comfort in him.
“Yes, this is very exclusive content!” You pouted. Yes, you knew Yoongi had already seen every little crevice of your body, but because of his abundance of experience, you became a bit insecure.  
“I’ll go ahead and brush my teeth already then.” He said, respecting your needs.
“Oh, I don’t have a toothbrush.”
“One night won’t ruin your dental hygiene.”
As Yoongi headed inside his bathroom, you quickly changed into his shirt. You were blushing to yourself, feeling rather proud to be able to wear his shirts. I hope no other girl has worn this. A moment later you were lying down on his bed, quickly realizing the sheets smelled like Yoongi. You really were on Cloud 9. After a few minutes, he came back wearing only a pair of briefs. Even though you’ve seen his chest multiple times, you still were too timid to look, making you turn your head to the side. “What’s the matter? First time seeing a bare-chested man?” He said sarcastically
“I’m feeling violated.”
He placed himself next to you, hovering over you. “Next time you’ll be drinking the weak stuff first and I’ll just drink the hard stuff myself, lightweight.” He gently grabbed your face and planted a kiss on your forehead. “Then we can get drunk at the same pace, how about that?”
You smiled, pulling him in for a kiss on the lips. “Sounds like a great idea.” This felt weird. This whole night felt weird. Not because of you or Yoongi in particular. But because it all felt like weird déjà vu. “Alright, goodnight y/n.” He said before turning off the light
“Goodnight Yoongi.” You rubbed your face against the pillow, creating a little malt to fit your face nicely to sleep in. The sudden feeling of his arm snaking around your waist almost made you cry. He pulled you a bit closer, feeling his heartbeat against your back. You smiled. Cause tonight, you were his and his only.
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“Don’t kiss me I have morning breath.” When you found yourself in Yoongi’s arms, and a painful headache, the next morning, you realized how bad of a combo you and alcohol are.
Yoongi chuckled before leaning in closer to you. “Like I care Besides, yesterday you were very persistent on me kissing you.” He teased with a smirk.
“I talk a bit too much when I’m tipsy.” You pouted as you felt Yoongi’s lips on your neck.
“Tipsy?” He teased.
“Shut up.” You sat up straight, stretching your body to wake yourself up. “I can’t stay long though, I have to be at work at 12.” Your heart was feeling sad you had to leave already.
Yoongi sat straight as well. “It’s fine, I have a meeting in the afternoon, so I couldn’t stay either,” He gently grabbed your chin, pulling you in for a kiss. “unfortunately.” Yoongi moved up from his bed, stretching at well. “Let me take a quick shower before I drop you off.”
However, you did not hear that last sentence Yoongi just said. Because Yoongi was indeed, a healthy man. And healthy men would occasionally get morning wood. It was not your fault it distracted you for a minute. You quickly moved your eyes away from his clothed erection and decided to keep your focus strictly on Yoongi’s face. “Sorry, what?”
Yoongi smirked at the sight of you being flustered. “I said I was going to take a quick shower, but it seems that you were a bit distracted.”
“Just go shower, please!”
Yoongi just shook his head in disbelief. “You’re a lot of talk when you’re drunk, but sober you’re such a pussy.” He said before closing the door behind him. During Yoongi’s shower, you put back on your own clothes as you heard the shower head running. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, noticing the rubbed-out mascara that made you look like a raccoon. You tried your best to tame your hair but without much luck. You heard a notification noise coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t from your phone. Curiosity got the best of you, so you quickly took a glimpse at the text Yoongi received.
[09:21] Eunha: Yoongi~ I hope tonight is still on. I haven’t heard from you yet so I’m getting worried ㅠㅠ
The urge to text her back yourself to tell you that he was busy with someone else, was immense. But you just bit your tongue and ignored it. It was the universe telling you that you were, indeed, not special. Being Yoongi’s one and only was too good to be true. You just sighed, laying back down and trying your best to get your mind out of the gutter. After a few minutes of waiting, Yoongi was done with his shower and decided to come out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. You really are testing me, aren’t you? You took a little peak, before covering your eyes with your arms, making Yoongi chuckle. “You can look you know? I don’t mind.”
“I feel more comfortable likes this.”
His lips left a little ‘tsk’ sound as he started to get dressed, telling you after a few minutes it was safe to open your eyes again. You sat up from the bed, smiling innocently at Yoongi as if you didn’t want him to rearrange your guts yesterday, but now you were chickening out. “y/n-” You hear Yoongi whisper, making you turn your body to him. You felt his hands creep onto your waist as he leaned in a bit. “Before we go, can I just…” He pulled your body closer to his, making you hold onto his shoulders as he gently pressed you against the door. You could feel his breath against your lips, waiting for a second before pressing his lips against yours, his lips slowly moving against yours. A rush of excitement went through your body by Yoongi’s sudden need for you. You could feel his hand squeezing your breast as if he had been waiting for the opportunity to do so, making you let out a small wince. His lips left yours and a grin painted his face. “Alright, let’s go.” You weren’t sure what just happened, or why he suddenly had the need to do that. You’d be lying if it didn’t leave you wanting more, but neither of you had the time for it anymore. Making you think he did this on purpose.
After the two of you left his apartment, he drove you back home, which didn’t take that long. Conveniently enough, his house was that far from yours. After holding the door for you again and walking up to your front door, you couldn’t believe this was already over. “Thanks for last night, I really had fun.” You said before opening the door.
“So did I.” He smiled before it turned into a slight grin. “Now that you stopped pretending you don’t want to see me, how about I come over to pick you up this Friday?”
Suddenly, the text from that girl named Eunha popped into your head, altering your answer. “I’ll think about it.” You said with a hint of sadness.
Yoongi leaned in closer, holding your waist for a second before planting another kiss on your lips. “Let me know, okay? See you soon y/n.” He smiled before letting go of you. You watch him drive off before heading into your home, leaning against the door as soon as it’s closed. But when you caught yourself being a little bit too smiley, you mentally slapped yourself out of it. Don’t do this to yourself No, you weren’t going to fall in love with him again. No matter how nice he would be to you. He was an upper-fuckboy and you should know better. You were just another one in his long contact list of girls. So tonight you made a promise to yourself. The moment you started to catch feelings for Yoongi, you would cut him out of your life.
Simple.
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Taglist; @flowerblu00, @brinda-9, @seokjinkismet, @sugainmybowl, @mxxxnshine
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xiaq · 3 years
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Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)
Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.
I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???
(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)
CW for sex talk (again)
How does one get over purity culture?
Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.
Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.
According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.
Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.
You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.
The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.
Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.
Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)
Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.
*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).
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alirhi · 3 years
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...goddess help me...
This fucking episode. *deep breath* This... This episode is where I'm expecting to get some serious hate. Let me just get this out of the way right up front:
I. Hate. Zemo.
I do not find him sympathetic, or funny, or charming. I find him creepy and annoying. I did not like him in CA:CW and I do not like him in TFATWS. If you are pro-Zemo, you are not going to like my version of this show from here on out. Just find something else to read and don't bother me about it. You've got the actual canon, so go enjoy that.
Got it? Good. Now, on to the main event!
Episode 3: The Power Broker
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First of all, Sam doesn't let Bucky walk in there alone. No matter Bucky's (flimsy and nonsensical) argument, Sam's like "hell no. I go in with you, or you don't go in." The main reason for this isn't to keep Bucky from breaking Zemo out of prison (with decent writing, he would never do that) - it's so that Sam witnesses Zemo taunting Bucky with/about the trigger words. because Zemo is a piece of shit.
Since he doesn't know the full story, Sam is confused, but he files this interaction away to ask Bucky about later. He's listening to Zemo acknowledging that Bucky was "not conscious for most of [his] imprisonment" (which, yes, clearly refers to the time he spent frozen, but can also mean while he was under their control as TWS/"The Asset" - also, key word: imprisonment) and when he calls Bucky a means to an end, Sam scowls, looking ready to go off on him, but he waits. They've got more important issues.
Neither of them entertains the thought of breaking Zemo out for even a nanosecond. He does that shit himself. And literally the only reason I'm sticking with him getting out at all is because I want to address some truly egregious moments linked directly to him in the show. Zemo makes them think he's setting them on the trail when really he's just sending them to his motor pool. Bucky and Sam are confused until they see Zemo in his stolen guard uniform, then they're both angry and want to ship him right back to prison, but he strikes a deal with them: "My help for my temporary freedom. Creating super soldiers cannot be allowed to continue; let me finish my work, and then do with me as you will." He has no intention of going quietly back to prison, obviously, and they're not stupid enough to believe otherwise, but they believe they can keep him on a short leash, so they agree for now. Anything to bring down the Flag Smashers and whoever created them.
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After the title, we cut to Raynor on the phone in her office. She's agitated, fiddling with things on her desk. "No, sir," she's practically growling, "it was disrupted. - Walker did! - It's not my fault your new attack dog got off-leash!" She pauses, huffs, and says more calmly, "No. Of course not. I'm sorry. - Well, I don't see how, with the new Cap strutting around barking orders! - What am I supposed to do? Tell Captain America in front of a dozen witnesses that he can't have his predecessor's favorite pet because we're not done reprogramming him? I didn't see that going over too well. I made a call. - No. No, no, no, we can still use him. The work's not finished, but he still trusts me. He'll be back." A pause as she listens. Angry again, she snaps, "What do you want me to do, shove a tracker up his ass? He'll be back, and we'll pick right back up where we left off! - Don't worry, sir, the Asset will be fully compliant and ready to use soon. I'll make sure of it. - Yes, sir. You, too." She hangs up and tosses her phone on the couch, grumbling, "Dick."
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Cut back to Sam, Bucky, and Zemo getting going on their trip to Madripoor. On the plane, Sam wants to talk to Bucky about what he's learned so far, but doesn't want to bring it up in front of Zemo... until the notebook incident reminds him that Zemo already knows more about Bucky than he does.
After Zemo's line about the list, Sam angrily corrects him: "You mean people HYDRA used The Winter Soldier to hurt." When Zemo shrugs and his response is basically along the lines of "what's the difference" Sam is like "oh hell no."
"Those words you were reciting at him," he reminds Zemo, "what were they, Russian? They clearly meant something. They were supposed to do something. What are they?" "Sam, let it go," Bucky pleads, unable to look at either of them. "It's nothing." "You wanna drown in your guilt, that's fine," Sam snaps, "but make sure it's for the right reasons." He turns back to Zemo, who's smiling at this exchange because he's a monster and thinks Bucky's suffering is fucking funny. "I asked you a question, Zemo. What did those words do?" "They activate the Winter Soldier programming," Bucky grudgingly admits. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he's sure as hell not going to let Zemo speak for him. "Or, they did, before the Wakandans got all that shit out of my head." "It's a shame," Zemo says with a smirk. "Imagine the possibilities that come with perfect obedience." "I think you mean 'slavery'," Sam growls, "and I think you're in the wrong crowd to be looking so pleased about it. Remember that we can send your ass back to prison any time." "Of course," Zemo agrees, but with an arrogant smile that shows he doesn't believe for a second that these two have any real power over him. Still, he bides his time and sits back quietly, watching Bucky fidget with the notebook. Sam turns back to Bucky, seeing his discomfort; he won't let the topic go, though, not yet. He just softens his tone. "So, they 'activated the Winter Soldier'? What exactly does that mean?" Bucky shrugs, still not looking up. "Pretty much what he said - perfect obedience. What little consciousness they left me between cryo and the chair was squashed down, locked away. And I did whatever I was told, exactly the way they told me to." It finally clicks. He'd had his suspicions before, of course, but now Sam gets it. Visibly horrified, he stares at this quiet, broken man, and finally sees the truth of what he'd been through for 70 years: "They stripped away your autonomy. Shit, Bucky, they didn't even let you be a person. That's..." He swallows, looking like he'll be sick any minute. "That's awful, man. I'm so sorry." When Bucky tries to shrug it off and downplay it again, Sam gets angry. "Look at me!" He waits; it takes a few seconds, but Bucky reluctantly looks up and is surprised to see just how upset Sam is on his behalf. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. When Steve said you didn't have a choice, I had no idea... You really, truly had no choice; not even the ability to choose. That's horrifying." "I doubt it would make much difference to the people he's killed," Zemo points out snidely. "Or their families. Let's ask Tony Stark, shall we?" "You shut the hell up," Sam growls. He watches Bucky flinch and make that face - the face he's starting to really fucking hate - that says he agrees with Zemo. Bucky still can't see things the way Sam does; he still feels the guilt and shame, and even when he himself pointed out his lack of agency under HYDRA, it didn't click for him that Sam is right, not Zemo.
It's too much, too soon. Sam sees that and decides to change the subject, to give Bucky some time to process. He nods at the notebook, and they have their little Marvin Gaye debate, where Sam is over the top about it on purpose, because Bucky needs the distraction.
Of course, Zemo ruins it by opening his big mouth again and reminding Bucky of more trauma: his time fighting in WWII. That's why Sam latches onto the bit about Madripoor; to keep the focus not only on the task at hand, but off of Bucky's past that he clearly still can't cope with.
"James... You will have to become someone you claim is gone." Sam is officially ready to throw Zemo out a window. 😂 The only reason he doesn't jump to Bucky's defense again and basically tell Zemo to fuck himself (in a PG-13 way 🙄) is because Bucky's, as Sam pointed out in ep2, a grown-ass man, and because he's just learned how few decisions this poor man has been able to make in his life. Sam doesn't want to come across as another "handler," deciding everything for him, even if he does think this plan is stupid and needlessly cruel.
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At the bar, when asked if he wants "the usual", Sam just casually waves the bartender off like "nah". Zemo already said they had business to attend to, so it's not like anyone would be suspicious that now's probably not a good time to be doing weird shots lol. (wtf even was that? I'm not sure I want to know, but...what part of the snake did he drop into that drink?)
Sam's not an idiot (I'm really so sick of this trend of turning intelligent characters into morons because the writers can't think of any other way to move their plot along) so his cell phone has been off this whole time. No sudden call from Sarah to put them all in danger. There was really no point to that, anyway; Sharon likely would have killed Selby for talking about Nagle with or without the excuse of "saving" Sam and Bucky. I mean, it's not like they know who fired that shot, ever.
"They cleared the Bionic Staring Machine," Sam still jokes, but he follows it with, "and they think he's a mass-murderer." "They think?" Sharon stares at him incredulously. "Didn't he kill pretty much everyone he's ever met?" "Wow." Sam glances back at Bucky. "She really is awful now." To Sharon, he adds, "You met Steve; do you really think he'd have defied 117 countries to protect someone evil?" "He did it for Bucky," she points out. "Let's face it - Bucky could blow up half the planet, and Steve's loyal-to-a-fault ass would still take a bullet for him." "You know I'm sitting right here, right? I can hear you." "Look, I don't think you're evil, Bucky," Sharon assures him. "But I know you killed a lot of people for HYDRA." "I'm not denying it." "He didn't have a choice," Sam snaps, glaring at them both. "But we're not getting into that right now. My point is, the government's afraid of Bucky, and they still pardoned him. All you did was steal something. I'm sure they can be persuaded to see reason." "The day the US government sees reason," Sharon quips, rolling her eyes, "is the day I sprout real wings and fly off into the sunset." "Careful, Icarus," Bucky mocks with a smirk, "the sun and brand new wings don't exactly go together." Then he shrugs and glances at Sam. "But she's not wrong."
At the party that night, it takes a few minutes (grumpy old man Bucky's not sure how to feel about the music lol) but a peek of pre-war Bucky comes out to play: they were told to "blend in", so he dances. At first he's just bobbing around alone looking stoic and out of place, but soon he's smiling and dancing between two attractive people - one male, one female. Sam is surprised, but before he can tease him for it, Sharon comes to get them all. Even she's a little "wait what?" at Bucky having a little fun lol. (recovery is not linear, guys. trauma doesn't mean "perpetually miserable, no fun, doesn't even know how to smile." in my TFATWS, Bucky gets his lighter moments; real ones, not humor at his expense)
When they find Nagle, Bucky's the one who notices and opens the secret door, while Sam keeps an eye on Zemo. Bucky catches Zemo trying to grab that gun; closes the drawer on his hand before opening it and taking the gun away. "Nice try." Nagle tries to get away while there's only one person watching him, but Sam catches him and forces him back into his seat. With a bruising grip on the back of Zemo's neck, Bucky drags him back over to where he and Sam can both keep an eye on him. Nagle is killed in the shootout as they're trying to escape; Zemo still runs off, blows shit up, and comes back with the stolen car so he's not totally useless.
I had no problem with Zemo being the one to kill Nagle; Nagle was the worst and def had to die, and Zemo has never had an issue killing anyone. Where I took issue with this scene was Bucky and Sam being dumb enough to let Zemo wander and get his hands on a gun. Nope. Not happening.
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Anyway, shootout! Explosions! Funny banter! The seat thing, which is my favorite nod to CW ever lol... And then the conversation on the plane...
"You okay?" "Yeah." Sam sighs. "Just thinking." "About how to get Sharon that pardon you dangled in front of her?" He shakes his head. "About how Nagle referred to 'The Winter Soldier Program" like it was some kind of after school club; like you weren't standing right there. And 'the American test subject' like... Like Isaiah wasn't even a real person." He turns to face Bucky, looking angry and weary. "Makes me wonder how many times... How many times are we gonna run around in the same circles before people learn? And how many people need to get crushed underfoot in the meantime?" "Did you really just equate me with Isaiah?" Bucky frowns, not sure how to react to that. "That man is a hero." Sam opens his mouth to say something, but his phone goes off and Zemo approaches at the same time, effectively cutting off their conversation.
When they get to Riga and Zemo tries to guilt trip them over Sokovia, Bucky deadpan reminds him, "Neither of us were involved in that fight." "I doubt you'd have been much help if you were." He shrugs. "Probably not. But I like to save my guilt for events I was actually present for. It's a thing." Zemo laughs. "Fair enough."
Bucky goes on his walk, and meets up with Ayo.
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turkisherlockian · 3 years
Text
Books and Sins | Chapter Two [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]
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Hello everyone! I'm Cer but you might remember me as @rosamundhr a.k.a. Rosamund, it was my nickname but I've changed my mind and I will use my own name Ceren, now. (Cer for short hehehe) Unfortunately I lost access to @rosamundhr so I will keep posting my stories here! I hope you enjoy it and I apologise for making you all wait for so long! Love you all, stay safe. 😸❤️
Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.
Warnings: Mature content, self harm, violence, swearing.
Word count: 1855
Feedbacks are much appreciated and so motivating!
Chapter One
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  Katherine woke up with a weird feeling inside her chest. She was mad at herself for being like this: She could like someone so easily and fall in love with them soon after. It was not her fault though, he was really charming. Too good looking to like her back. However, she tried to convince herself that she just liked him and was attracted to him because he was a writer and well... Handsome as fuck. Not to mention his gentlemanly behaviour. Taking a deep breath, she reached out for her phone to tell her best friend about it. She didn't really have lots of friends and she never complained about it, she liked solitude.
  She scolded herself for being that excited about the thought of seeing him again. He was the very first thing that was on her mind in the morning and she wanted to talk to him again. So badly.
  K: Morning!
  S: Morning to you too 🤣
You're texting me 'morning' since when?
  K: Stop being sarcastic. Can't I be nice to my best friend?
  S: Of course you can, I'm kidding. I just wondered what made you this cheerful... Or who, I should say.
  K: You know who.
  S: Oh do I?
  K: Come on, Samantha! The man I met yesterday. I can't get him out of my mind, I don't know what happened to me but he's like... Cigarette.
  S: You're smoking? Since when???
  K: Of course I don't! It was just an example, idiot. Just can't get him out of my mind. What do I do?
  S: Text him maybe?
You won't seem desperate, don't worry. I am sure he found you attractive as well and he might even be in love with you.
  K: Okay, no need to exaggerate.
What do I say, good morning or hi?
  S: It doesn't matter!
  K: Okay, I'll text you later.
Are you sure I won't seem desperate?
  S: JUST TEXT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE!
  K: OKAY I WILL!
  S: Don't forget to tell me about it. I gotta go now, talk to you later. xxx
  K: Bye! ❤️
---
There was something different about him. Did she like him because he was attractive or because he was nice to her? She had to admit that he was attractive, but there was something else in his voice, in his looks, in the way he talked. She actually found him beautiful.
  Taking a deep breath, she finally decided to text him.
  K: Good morning. :)
  Was he still asleep? Maybe he was at work. Wait, do writers go to work? Maybe he had another job. Maybe not. Maybe he just did not want to talk to her... Why wasn't he replying?!
  She sighed in frustration as she took a big sip from her coffee and burned her tongue.
  B: Morning, Katherine.
How are you? :)
  He finally replied after 10 minutes. She bit her lip as her heart skipped a beat, and started typing.
  K: I'm good! Getting ready to go to school.
  K: I mean work.
  God, I'm an idiot, she thought.
  K: How about you?
  B: Just got out of shower, that's why I replied late by the way. Sorry about that. :)
  K: I was wondering if you would like to meet again sometime.
  She grinned as she bit her lip, that's what she always did when she was nervous or excited.
---
  K: I would love that! When will you be free?
  B:I'm always available for you.
Whenever you'd like. :)
  She started squealing in excitement. What did he just say?!
  K:I'm free in the afternoon.
  B: Wonderful. How about the café we met?
  K: Sounds good. Is 2PM okay for you?
  B: Yes. I am looking forward to it, Katherine.
  K: So am I. :)
I gotta go now, see you later. x
  B: Have a good day. See you. x
  She looked at her watch and she was 30 minutes late already. Without telling Samantha about it, she started to get ready in a hurry.
  She was never late for work, so no one was upset with her being late.
---
  ''...And my mum said I'm out of my mind!''
  Katherine just could not get him out of her mind, and she hated it. She did listen to her counselee but couldn't pay any attention, and now she was crying. She gave her a tissue, ''I understand you, Jane, and I hope telling me about it made you feel better. I know how difficult it is for you, but I have a suggestion. When I was your age, I found a way to deal with my problems: being your own counselor.'' She smiled warmly.
  ''My own counselor? How?'' The young girl sniffled.
  ''I imagined that I was told about everything I am going through, and I had to find them a way out. Think of it as if you're reading your life in third person of view. I did it for years and I still do when I don't want to tell people about my feelings. Plus, I found out that it was scientifically proven in college, so it is safe and it actually works. How does that sound?''
  She wiped her tears, ''I can try...''
  ''So tell me, what would you say to yourself if you were someone else?''
  ''I think I would say that maybe..." She sniffled, "Maybe her mother wasn't feeling good as well.''
  Katherine smiled, ''That's it! You are right. We all have problems that we don't want to tell the others and sometimes we might burn out on people we care about the most without being aware of it. You can ask your mother if she is feeling alright, it doesn't matter whether you are still upset with her or not; maybe you can help her as well just like you just helped yourself. That was very brave of you, in my opinion.'' She smiled wholeheartedly.
  The girl who was just crying smiled and said ''Thank you very much, Miss Daelan. It's going to be the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm home.''
  ''You're welcome. Feel free to talk to me anytime.'' She got up to open the door for her and then left the room as well before checking her phone.
3 new messages from Samantha
  S: Hey! Send screenshots!!!
Are you there?
Kath!
  K: I'm sorryyyy I was late to work already and then forgot to text you.
Here you go:
*screenshots*
  S: I told you that he liked you as well, he is flirting with you!
  K: No he's not!
  S: He adores you!
  K: You are really exaggerating.
  ''Miss Daelan, do you have a minute?'' Katherine looked up at the principle, "Yes, Mr Brealey."
  K: The principle wants to talk to me, I'll ttyl xxx
  S: What did he say?
  The old man opened his room's door for Katherine, she smiled and walked inside. He gestured her to sit down, "Please, have a seat." he said and closed the door. After sitting down, he cleared his throat and said "Miss Daelan, I... Erm..."
  He loosened his tie, couldn't dare to look at Katherine. His cheeks were red and there was a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. The young woman frowned a little, listening to him in curiosity. "I've known you since the day you started working here and... I must say that you are the most intelligent, kind, beautiful woman I have ever seen... I can't take my eyes off you because you're an amazing woman and I... I love you."
  Katherine was shocked, didn't know what to say at first. She did not feel honored at all, she was disgusted. "Excuse me? I thought you were married!"
  "Yes but I don't love my wife, I'm going to divorce her soon; you must understand Miss Daelan, I love you! Please give me a chance..." And now she felt her blood boil in her veins.
"I am sorry but it's never gonna happen. I suggest you to divorce your wife as soon as possible to keep her away from an asshole like you." Katherine stood up angrily and walked towards the door, "But Miss D--" and she shut the door.
  K: FUCKING HELL!
He said he loves me!
He's fucking married, Samantha!
*seen*
Are you there?
*seen*
  K: I guess you are busy
I'm going home to get ready, talk to you later xxx
  S: Sorry, I had to deal with a costumer
What a prick!!!
How dare he?
I want to kill him.
  K: Violence is never the answer but yeah, I pity on his wife to be honest. He even has children.
ANYWAY
WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?
S: Whatever you're comfortable with. :)
  K: How about a dress?
The one I wore when we last met?
  S: You look so hot in it 🔥
Wear that one!
  K: It covers all of my body, it's kinda tight and there's NO WAY I can look hot in it. I don't want to look pretentious anyway.
  S: Anything you wear looks good on you, love!
  K: Gay. 🤭
  S: Shut up. Wear it!
  K: LOL sorry!
I gotta go nowww
  S: Tell me all about it when you're home, IF you go back home ;) Good luck!
  K: I WILL and thanks! ❤️
  The young woman sighed as she tried to find her keys. She was still mad at the principal and it was frustrating her.
  After a short shower, she dried her hair with a towel and let her curls down on her shoulders. She wore the dress and looked in the mirror, It actually looks good, she thought. After applying some makeup and wearing her favourite her perfume, she was ready. She didn't like to wait and hated making the others wait for her as well, so she left her flat at 1:30PM. It took her 15 minutes to get to the café and she realized that she wasn't the only one who was punctual.
  "Hi..." She said as she walked towards the man she couldn't get out of her mind. He was wearing a brown jumper with beige trousers and she breathed his masculine, minty cologne in. Her heart was beating faster already.
  "Oh, hi, Katherine!" He stood up and for one second she didn't know what to do. Should she shake his hand or kiss his cheek? Or hug him? The young man leaned down and kissed her cheek before hugging her, she was shaking inside.
  He felt her body close to his. He felt her delicate, pale skin; and her linden scent made him feel dizzy. Her arms hugged his chest and he felt her plump, beautiful breasts. He watched her dress tighten around her curves as she moved.
  She was so beautiful and he could barely keep his hands to himself. He could kiss and take her right there, but didn't. He had to control himself until she submitted to him, which wasn't going to take long because it was in her blood. Submitting, obeying, and being his. He just knew it, and he was going to take what belonged to him. Katherine, belonged to him.
---
Chapter Three
Please let me know what you think! ❤️
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Text
orange and gold
...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.
Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.
Set a few months after Master of the Mountain, but before Seabound or The Island.
Also yeah, I couldn't think of a better title, sue me- I just know that they wear one of the colours at some point, so... 🤦‍♀️😂
Trigger warnings: none I think? Huh-
Also, bingo!! I really need to learn better time management, dear freaking gosh- I hope I'm not too late though? I know it's like half a day late, eek- and I was supposed to post this earlier, but I ended up literally falling asleep while writing it😂
Thank you so much Fabro, for hosting such a cool event!:D Your comments on my fics literally never fail to make my day<3. And I'm so glad that I met so many awesome, really skilled people through this event too - it's been a lot of fun working alongside y'all:D, I wish I'd had more time to interact instead of posting stuff and vanishing lol, but exams be like:////
Prompt: cooking (does baking count as cooking? I realized too late lol-) from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.
Word Count: 2497
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---
Trying to escape from killer dire-bats hadn't been on Cole's to do list today - although the mountains were kind of beautiful.
It was a bit difficult to see them while he was being dragged to his death, but hey, didn't Jay always tell them to be more positive?
That was, until he made the mistake of looking down.
Miles of snowcapped mountains touched the pastel blue sky, but he was more focused on exactly how high he was from the ground.
Great.
Trying to swing back onto the Bounty, he didn't notice a golden-winged blur shoot past the bat, almost dropping their spear in haste.
"Let my friend go, or I'll-"
"Vania?"
She throws the spear at the bird, successfully knocking one of its wings.
Huh. She must've been practicing - throwing with accuracy while flying seemed kinda difficult.
"I'm so sorry!" she replies, grabbing his arm before he fell down too. She winces at the strain on her wings, almost dropping him onto the deck. "I was supposed to come earlier, but there was an issue with one of the mines, and it took forever to-"
"There ain't anything in this world that's managed to kill me yet," he replies jokingly, checking that the autopilot hadn't been damaged. "I doubt an angry bird is going to be the first."
"Didn't you mention that you became a ghost once? Pretty sure that means you were dead-"
"Shh, that's not an important detail," he jokes.
"If you say so," she replies with a grin. "Did I mention that Chompy's been tearing down the palace flower arrangements again?"
"Send my regards to the gardener-"
"Did you just make a pun?"
"Remind me why I decided to visit you again?"
"Because you love me?" she asks stepping onto the ground as the Bounty landed gently.
"I hereby crown you as my platonic soulmate," Cole deadpans, taking her hand. "Vania and Cole-"
"Destined to annoy each other for eternity," she giggles, swinging their hands up and down. "But seriously - thanks. I don't think I realized how much work being a queen was."
"What's it like?"
"I mean - I'm glad that people trust me, and they come to me if they have a problem, but the paperwork is a nightmare. I never get to go outside anymore, I swear."
"Paperwork? Also, you just invited me here for a week. I don't wanna disturb you?"
"Nah, I cleared my schedule, don't worry. And trust me, you don't want to know. Everything requires some sort of official written thing, and it's so boring-"
"Official? But you're the queen?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't really want to change something unless it benefits the people. Not after..."
Her smile dims, eyes straying to the palace walls.
Oh- oh.
"You're nothing like him," Cole says firmly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, if you need to take a break, or you can make your job a bit easier by cutting out something unnecessary, that's just gonna help you become a better queen. You've definitely got the interests of your people at heart, and that's the most important thing, you know? And well, uh, everything seems to be going great so far - you don't have to beat yourself up over someone else's mistakes."
"Thanks," she replies softly, her smile slowly returning. "Speaking of breaks, what do you think we should do this time?"
"You could show me around the city again?"
"You've already seen everything cool," Vania giggles, skipping ahead of him. "We don't renovate much - unlike you guys-"
"Hey, it's not our fault that our city gets destroyed every few months-"
"More like every few days," she teases, tying back her golden hair. "How about we find some dragons to adopt?"
"Tempting, but where would you keep them?"
"They could sleep in my room-"
She breaks off when she notices him laughing. "What?"
"N- nothing," Cole replies, in between laughs. "Jay and I just made a bet."
"On what?"
"How many dragons you've adopted. I bet at least six, he bet fifteen."
"Well, jokes on both of you - I'm pretty sure my advisor's going to throw a fit if I show up with another one," she starts, giggling. "We've got twenty living in the palace right now."
"Twenty dragons?"
"They're so cute! You just look into their adorable little eyes," Vania pauses for breath, continuing her animated gesturing, "and you can't help but wanna hug them!"
"Oh, Jay's going to be so mad."
"Aww, I'm sorry guys. They're just too adorable!"
"...Wanna hear a funny story?"
"Yeah, sure!"
"I actually used to be terrified of dragons-"
"No way!" Vania exclaims. "Y'all have been on a lot of adventures though, so-"
"Nah, we used to have our own dragons at first. They were pretty cool! I just- I'm a simple guy! Huge animals with wings are scary up close when you're barely a teenager."
"Or when you're really short-"
"We're the same height!" Cole exclaims, facepalming in a bit of a fondly exasperated way.
"I'm two years younger than you-"
---
"Ugh, whose idea was this?"
"Yours," Vania grins, sitting down on the kitchen counter.
"You were supposed to help me, not leave me high and dry!" Cole accuses jokingly, staring at all the appliances they'd found in the cupboards.
"'One must always be prepared for new adventures,'" she quotes seamlessly, waving one of- what was his name again? Mulch something? Oh! Clutch! Some explorer he was, leaving them to die in the pyramid - Clutch Powers' books in the air.
"Fine," he sighs, staring at the old recipe book she'd found in one of their back cupboards. "But you've gotta help me? I almost burned down-" "Woah, what? If you finish that sentence with 'kitchen'-" "In my defense, Kai was playing a prank on me-" "In my defense, I wouldn't like to explain how the queen of Shintaro burnt down the palace by teaching one of her friends to cook," she grins, flipping through the pages. "What do you wanna start with?" "Something simple?" "Have you ever tried baking bread before? It's a lot of fun!" "I haven't really had the time, but that sounds kinda interesting."
He skims the recipe, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, why does this take hours? I thought you said it was simple?"
"Trust me, it is," she laughs, adding, "besides, I still wanna hear about all your adventures!" "Uh... okay," Cole replies hesitantly, "but if this fails, I'm so sorry." "Give yourself some credit, you guys literally saved the world! Multiple times!" "Bold of y'all to assume we know how we did it," he laughs, only half-kidding. "Besides. I botched soup once."
"I've botched toast," she mock-sighs, smiling. "Pretty sure that makes us even."
"Lemme get this straight. You've messed up toasting bread, but you can bake it from scratch?"
"Trust me, I don't know either," she giggles, trying to open a brightly coloured packet of... something? Did flour come in packets that small?
"Uh, why are you opening something called 'feast'?" he asks, eyebrows creased in confusion.
"Feast," she echoes, trying to stifle her laughter. "Off to a... rocky start, aren't we?"
It took him a second.
"I already regret this," he jokes, facepalming. "But I'd say that your puns are, uh, gold."
"I've un- unleashed-" breaking off, she half-falls off the counter, laughing so hard her face starts to go red, "a monster."
---
"Uh, is it supposed to look like that?" Cole asks, frowning.
The mixture looked less like the dough he'd been expecting - more like one of Jay's inventions gone wrong.
Badly wrong, he thought, eyes widening at the goopy mess of foam that threatened to spill over the jug.
"The yeast?" Vania echoes, poking her head out of one of the cupboards. "Yeah, all good! It always looks a little gross, and you're gonna doubt ever eating bread again, but at least it doesn't taste like it's fermented-"
"It's what?"
"Yeah," she grimaces, exaggerating her disgust a bit. "If aliens ever fell from the sky, they'd think we were crazy for eating bread-"
"Aliens? I think we're a bit crazy!" Cole exclaims, trying not to laugh.
Vania smiles, then sighs, lugging a huge bag of flour onto the counter. "I can never open these bags properly," she starts, eyeing the the bag a bit warily, "and it always makes such a huge mess all over the kitchen. You'd think they'd make it easier for people to use, right? I swear-"
He jokingly puts his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!" "But you know that I've sworn off swearing-" she replies, breaking off with a laugh. "Pun not intended - that actually made sense in my head. I swear!"
"No," Cole interjects with a grin, shaking his head. "You don't, remember?"
"See, this is why we're friends-"
"Friends? Is that all I am to you?"
"Oh, be quiet," she shoots back, exaggeratedly dragging a hand down her face. "I mean, sure, just because everyone thinks that we're dating doesn't mean that we-"
Wait. What?
"People think that we're dating?" he asks, clamping a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. "I- I- really?"
"I know, right?"
"Even my friends thought so at first," he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, as much as I love you-"
"I love you too," Vania replies, completely seriously. "Even if you'll always be more like an annoying-"
"Hey-"
"Sibling to me than anything else," she finishes, grabbing a pair of scissors. Cole watches, a little alarmed, as she stabs them into the flour bag over and over.
"Is it... supposed to be this difficult to just open the bag? Seems kinda stupid-"
"Well, er, they have this piece of paper with glue that you're supposed to pull away from the rest of the bag, but it never works properly and I-"
"Well, we could always make our own flour," Cole interjects, laughing. "I mean, I've got a scythe? Let's go!"
"Uh, but we don't have wheat growing here. I don't think it'd suit the climate very well?"
"Wheat a shame," Cole sighs jokingly, measuring out the flour (which had, finally, escaped the bag).
"Oh my gosh," Vania deadpans, "you did not just-"
"Yep, I did."
"You're horrible," she giggles, "then again, I was the one who started this whole debacle, so I think we'll share the blame."
"Debacle? Where'd you pick that one up from? Sounds kinda cool-"
"Oh, it's from a book someone wrote about you guys," Vania says casually, pouring a cup of water into the bowl.
"Hey, uh-" Cole starts hesitantly, twisting his fingers back and forth, then breaks off. "Why'd you read all that stuff about us, anyways? Adventure books don't really seem like something you read a lot, since we have similar favorite books. I mean..."
"Well, um..." Vania trails off, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh- I guess, well, it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd never really met anyone my age who wasn't a royal or something. I... er, I didn't want to be left out, you know?"
Cole thinks back to a scroll; a quest, a sacrifice. One that his friends never seemed to really notice, unless it was with horror or flinches. Not that he blamed them, but - joking about how he was much more useful to the team when he was freaking dead than he was before he'd stumbled and fell in the temple?
That had been a bit far, even for his best friend. Locks could always be picked or something, he didn't need to be a ghost to provide some sort of value-
Well, that's not completely true, is it? a small voice questions, and he can't keep his hands from shaking a little.
"Jay here thinks you're the least valuable ninja."
Not enough to be a performer. Now, not good enough to even be a ninja, apparently.
Well, he reminds himself firmly, you don't have to be the best - just stand up to those who are cruel and unjust.
Nothing but a scar that glowed warm orange occasionally left of the whole Cursed Realm ordeal, sometimes it was all too easy to forget - or pretend - that it had never even happened in the first place.
Other times, like when he'd dropped a glass of water on the floor and his hands hadn't stopped shaking for hours, or when he woke up screaming, expecting to fall through his bed again, it still felt like he was trapped as a ghost. Literally - and maybe a little figuratively as well.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
"Thanks for trusting me with that," he replies softly. "And I'm sorry. That sounds... horrible, but, honestly, you're a pretty cool person, and I ain't just saying that because we're friends. People can be awful, and they can- they can leave, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not for people to accept you. I kinda know what it's like, and it's... just, uh, not great."
"No, thank you," Vania says, rubbing her eyes. "You're pretty cool, too. And I'm glad that we become friends, even if wasn't in the- the, er, greatest circumstances."
"Right back at ya. The fall was pretty terrifying, though," Cole says casually, as if memories of that nightmarish plunge into the depths of earth don't still send shivers down his spine.
"No, definitely! I was so sure we were gonna splat onto the ground or something, thank gosh we didn't."
"Yeah..." Cole trails off, reading the recipe they'd been following. "Oh- do we just leave the bowl somewhere for a few hours now?"
"Oh, yeah," Vania answers. "Other than clean up the kitchen, what else do you wanna do?"
"That's kind of you, but, ah, I don't mind. You can choose something."
"I don't mind either," she replies, covering the bowl with a dishcloth. "Seriously, I don't."
"Same here though."
"Really, I don't mind-" Vania breaks off with a laugh, adding, "Well, actually, there is something."
She doesn't elaborate, thoughtfully gazing out the window.
"Well, what is it? Don't keep me in the dark."
"Ugh, it's kinda stupid-"
"I'm sure that it's not- well, unless you want to try to jump off a flying ship with a homemade parachute to prove a bet to someone-"
"Do I even wanna know?"
"...uh, probably not. We're way too crazy sometimes, our Master has a hard time keeping us in check. Your thing, though?"
"Can I give you a hug?"
Cole blinks for a second, expecting some sort of punchline.
"That's your thing?"
"Well, yeah- I mean, I said it was kinda stupid-"
"No no, that's not what I meant. You're so sweet - that's all."
"Well, not more than you-"
"Nah, you're sweeter-"
"Let's just call it a tie," Vania says with a smile, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thank you so much, I swear- well, no, I don't, but you know, anyways-"
"Yeah," Cole replies, laughing softly. "I know."
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nad-zeta · 4 years
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Match up (✿◠‿◠)
hi! i hope you are well and healthy! I wanted to request a matchup.
okay so i want to do this as structured as possible so you can have it easier.
about me: i am a intp, type 5 enneagram female. i'm asexual and in demiromantic. as per my d&d alignment i'm chaotic neutral. i'm a computer science student (crying cause i constantly have a bunch of assignment).
my traits: i'm kinda unsocial and cold at first but polite nonetheless at first. i'm very stubborn and rarely (almost never) admit that i'm wrong. Most of the time i'm very chill and all i do is vibe but i cannot keep my cool when i see people being unfair. i'm very lazy and unmotivated, but if i have a task that is given to me, i will make sure to do it perfectly and ontime. i am open-minded and love to talk about almost everything. i very outspoken about my opinions and i'm not afraid to call out people on they stupidity and ignorance. with my friends i'm very cheeky and love teasing them and very loyal to them. i usually make self deprecating humour. also i'm very detail-oriented and i when i make plans i try too foresee every possibility.
appearance: half of the time i'm wearing dark academia fashion and half the time i look like a 12 year old boy with only an eyeliner. i have dyed hair, currently in ginger. i do wear glasses also.
interests: memes, astronomy and quantum physics, cryptography and programming, crime mysteries, anime, music, libraries, psychology, coffee and black tea, history movies about wars,learning about random shit, alcohool, traveling.
Hi hi, love! Thanks so much for the request! I hope you are doing well and I hope you enjoy love! Also sorry for taking sooo long to get this to ya! (˶◕‿◕˶✿). 
So I match you with..................... Nobunaga 
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Hehehe I have to admit, I had to really think about this one cause, I had half a mind bout matching you with our friendly neighbourhood ninja boi buuuut I decided not to lol
So the first time you meet Nobunaga well other than saving him from his death, was when he summoned Masamune to bring you back. You now stood in front of the man you had saved earlier on in that evening, and you were trying your best to be polite. Everything was going well until Hideyoshi made some comment about what an outspoken woman you were. Honestly, you knew women didn’t have many rights in the past, but the fact that he now full of ignorance talked down to you for being a woman had your blood boiling. You whipped your head around to look him straight in the eyes, you were very quickly starting to lose your cool with him. “What makes you think you can talk to me like that you stupid monkey.” This comment immediately brought a chuckle to Nobunaga’s lips, he found it all so amusing that you had chosen the same nickname as he had for the man. You and Hideyoshi continued to bicker, and things were starting to escalate fairly quickly. At some point, Masamune and Mitsuhide had to pull the two of you apart as you were at each other throats.
Nobunaga named you as an Oda princess and told Hideyoshi to calm down. At the end of the war council, you now sat in a room alone with the troublesome trio. Each of them sending teasing comments your way. What they didn’t expect, however, was the cheeky way you replied to their jokes. They found your loud outspokenness quite amusing. 
That night as is Nobunaga’s standard procedure, he invited you to his room. You walked into the room cautiously, not really knowing what to expect. You made your way out onto the balcony, and before you could announce yourself, you saw the night sky simmering and shining above you. It was absolutely brilliant. You had never seen the sky so clear and full of stars before, it was usually masked by pollution and dimmed out by the bright city lights. Nobunaga had been curiously eyeing you the entire time, he smirked at the way you looked up at the sky in awe. “Why fireball, you acting as though you have never seen the night sky before.” You were startled for a second, you were so absorbed by the night sky that you had forgotten why you had come to his room In the first place. 
Nobu being Nobu asked you in his ever commanding voice to be his bedmate for the night. An offer which you shot down faster than the blink of an eye. The man honestly couldn’t understand why, most woman would jump at the opportunity to sleep with him, yet here you are flat out rejecting him. You had explained that you were asexual, something which confused the shit out of him but either way he accepted you as you are, “Fine but you shall entertain me in some other way then.”
Honestly, you rolled your eyes at him, just who did he think he was. You took his bottle of sake, resting on the rail of the balcony and poured yourself a drink. This was the second time you had left Nobunaga speechless, he had never seen a woman so boldly make herself at home, much less pour herself a drink from his own private sake. You took a sip and smile, it was good. 
The two of you stood there for a while, just drinking in silence when he suddenly broke the ice with a question. “Why did you look up at the night sky like you had never seen anything like it before?” You smiled at him, “Well that simple cause I am used to a much older looking sky, where I'm from you can’t see as many stars and planets with the naked eye like this, due to the pollution and bright lights. Again he was left confused what did you mean. He looked at you questioningly, and that is when you explained that you were from the future, and thanks to your interest in quantum physics you could also explain the concept of time travel to him in great detail. He was shook, and awestruck. What an unusual woman he has stumbled upon. And this my friend is how your nightly visits to Nobunaga’s room started
The two of you would sit and drink sake while talking about anything and everything. Nobunaga loved how open-minded you were about everything, it made it easy to bounce ideas off of you. Your topics would range from history to war to psychology. HE loved your nightly chats, in fact, he would buzz with excitement during the day at the thought of the two of you, just peacefully drinking and getting to know each other a bit better. He also loved how hard you worked for the castle and its people. He found it interesting how you would introduce the staff to new easier ways of getting the job done, simply cause you were too lazy and demotivated to do it the way they have done it for years. No one could fault your work, it was absolute perfection, and to be honest, it actually gained you a lot of respect and trust around Hideyoshi, although he still didn’t like the fact that you and his lord was spending so much time together. He was convinced you were trying to get him to lower his guard with you so you could assassinate him.
It wasn’t until a certain incident at the market that gained you Hideyoshi’s respect and trust. The two of you were sent on important business together in the market, i.e. to buy Nobunaga more candy, when some soldiers were harassing some nice old man for being a foreigner. You honestly couldn’t stand injustice and bullies so naturally, you spoke out and lost your cool with the soldiers. It wasn’t until the soldiers started talking shit about Nobunaga that your blood started to boil. Like yeah at first you also thought he was too arrogant for his own good, but you had come to know him as more than just a feared devil king. You stood before them spitting out, smart, witty comments defending both Nobunaga and the old man, forgetting that the people of this time carried swords. They raised the sword above their heads intending to cut you down where you stand, you closed your eyes and shielded yourself with your arms, but the blow never came. You slowly opened your eyes to see Hideyoshi standing before you, his own sword drawn. He had protected you and ultimately saved your life. He tied the soldiers up, and Mitsuhide emerged from the shadows to take them away. Hideyoshi now saw you in a new light, not only did you protect the old man but you also stood up for his lord. He bowed down low to you and apologised for everything, for suspecting you, for treating you so horribly, everything. He now knew you were someone who he could entrust his lord too and he was happy that Nobunaga had found a friend he could confide in
You and Nobunaga loved to travel together. It had come up during one of the nightly visits that you loved to travel and see new places, and naturally, Nobunaga would do anything to see that beautiful smile grace your face. The two of you would often sneak out of the castle to go on an adventure together, even if it’s just to a neighbouring province to buy some tea and sample their alcohol. Nobunaga really enjoyed your company he loves your cheeky teasing banter.
The best day ever, however, was when Nobunaga had shown you the castle archives, you were awestruck by the vast amount of books he had managed to acquire. He found it amusing that you loved reading and learning new things, and often during your nightly visits, he would excitingly gift you a new book about the most random topic ever. He loves it, even more, when a few days later you tell him everything that you had learned from the book. He loves talking to you and spending time with you. He loves how you fearlessly challenge his opinions and decisions and help him to grow as a person. He had long ago fallen in love with you. He needed to make his feelings known, and he couldn’t hold them in any longer
It had come up during one of your many conversations with the man that you loved crime mysteries. TBH he stored and remembered every little detail you had revealed about yourself to him. It was time to set his plan in action. He had worked closely with Mitsuhide to create a murder mystery for you to solve, expect what you didn’t expect was that at the end of the riddles and puzzles he had set out for you to solve, it wasn’t the murderer that you had discovered, but his love for you. The final clue to the fake murder was a letter that was encrypted in a secret code. You were overjoyed, you loved solving codes, and puzzles. Nobunaga was a smart man, so this code was particularly challenging, a challenge mind you, that you thrived off of. Once you had finally deciphered the code and read the letter, you were shocked. It was not a letter of confession from the fake murderer but instead a love letter that Nobunaga had poured every ounce of his love into. You were in tears at the beautiful words.
TBH it took this boy a while to get used to your self-deprecating humour cause in his eyes you were absolutely perfect, and without fault, so he could never understand the jokes you would make. Eventually, though he caught on and would chuckle at your jokes, as long as they remained just that, jokes. He loved you utterly and completely and despite appearances loved to spend hours upon hours with you cuddled in his arms. He loved to just snuggle up in your lap as you pull your fingers through his hair and tell him about your day.
The two of you cuties can often be found off travelling somewhere or sitting quietly in Nobunaga’s room sharing a drink. The two of you love nothing more than to just be nestled together. Nobunaga will hold you in his arms and gently rub circles on your back as the two of you talk about the most random topics. Nobunaga absolutely loves and adores everything about you, and loves nothing more than to just spend a quiet, peaceful evening with you.
Other potential matches................Sasuke
I hope you enjoyed it love and I hope you are keeping safe and well! (◕ω◕✿)❤❤🌼
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you done 🐕🏃? Janis: yeah, just about Janis: what you up to? Jimmy: how long for? Jimmy: ages? Janis: I'm walking my last lot now so Janis: where's the 🔥 dickhead Jimmy: at the 🏖 Jimmy: you wanna come or what? Janis: oh, alright for some Janis: finally put your 😎 to some real use Jimmy: will do in a bit Jimmy: if we EVER leave 🏠 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: can't find your best 👙? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm waiting for you, obvs Jimmy: get a move on ☀️ girl Janis: alright, why not Jimmy: not gonna 🏃 my own 🐕 am I? Jimmy: earn your 💰 Jessica Janis: 🖕 Janis: she might be my fave customer but you're my least fave owner so Janis: drags her well ⬇ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: poor pup Jimmy: she won't be 💔 now you're going Janis: goes without saying Janis: have to deal with how #gutted you are Jimmy: sit next to my 🤬 sister then, can't I? Jimmy: 🥇 company Janis: what's making her 🤬 today Janis: besides you Jimmy: needs nowt else Jimmy: I'd be 😒 if I didn't have a top mate to bring Janis: fair Janis: been on enough outings with my siblings shit mates in tow Janis: least you can tell her I won't be all over you or anything this time Jimmy: did do, only reason she agreed, DUH Jimmy: nowt to do with how bored she is Janis: welcome to the real 🌍 init Jimmy: You'd reckon I invited Ian and Sharon how she's going on Jimmy: try and do a 🏆 big brother of the year thing Jimmy: just chuck myself in front of the train instead Janis: top starving artist thing though Janis: can't be appreciated in your own lifetime Jimmy: be about right, that Jimmy: and I get that I'm not really making this #goals so if you don't wanna it's alright Jimmy: as sales pitches go Janis: we're all bored, like Janis: but yeah, get your dad to give you some pointers when he's having his #mantoman Jimmy: bit late, I've had that Janis: oh, yeah? Jimmy: any chance to be a bellend, he don't hang about Jimmy: got in there soon as you pissed off Janis: wow, showing Shaz a well good time then Janis: 🙄 Janis: look forward to when she tells me all about that #justbetweenusgirls Jimmy: she weren't there long after you, mission accomplished ✔ Jimmy: you might be going dress shopping with the next one, soz like Janis: 👍 Janis: as long as she's a bleach blonde, not fussy Jimmy: neither's he, you're alright Janis: #fated? Jimmy: gonna get the bleach out, are you? Jimmy: don't reckon the ☀'ll do enough for you Janis: rude, just 'cos I'm getting a new best mate Janis: don't be jealous Jimmy: just looking forward to you having a tan that ain't out of a bottle tbh Janis: not that twin Janis: your 💌 got lost Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: emojis is her preferred method of communication Jimmy: I'll leave her a youtube comment, make yourself scarce, tah Janis: I'm going 🏖 Janis: fill your boots Jimmy: bit of a weird coincidence, that Janis: yeah, if you invite her, I'll be 🤬 as well Jimmy: What would I invite her for? Jimmy: don't need a babysitter Janis: hmm Jimmy: alright, dickhead Jimmy: do you wanna be uninvited? Janis: don't be a 👶 and prove my point, boy Janis: I'll 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: lasses mature faster, that ain't my fault, only an actual proven point Janis: we'll leave out you ain't hit puberty if it's all the same to you Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: oh THAT'S why my skin's so clear Jimmy: no need to drop my #nighttimeroutine now Janis: such a twat Jimmy: yeah and? Janis: 🤐 yourself Jimmy: but I LOVE a bit of feedback, me Jimmy: ask Bill's 👻 Janis: you NEVER take his notes, liar Jimmy: bollocks do I not Jimmy: always 👂 to him Janis: why you so crap at fake dating then? 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm 🥇 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you'd said it before now Jimmy: if any dickhead's lying, it's you Janis: I said it 'cos I'm 🥇 Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be grumpy Janis: if you were shit, we wouldn't still be doing it Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: marding at me 'cause my balls ain't dropped Janis: stop it Janis: lesbian would be a preferable rep Jimmy: til you've got 💀👑 after you Janis: you want me to say it's better than 12 year olds? Janis: 'cos obviously but fuck off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: you wanna leave it out now? Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: ? Janis: trying your #daddy bit again Jimmy: you wish, girl Janis: *👶girl Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: how rude Jimmy: I'm not fake calling you that, don't care if it's bad manners Janis: 🤷 Janis: if you don't wanna make 💀👑 💚🤢 Jimmy: I can do without that bollocks Janis: go 🥇 or go home Janis: could do without all of it really Jimmy: I am 🏠 hurry up, like Janis: I'm on my way, keep your 😎 on Jimmy: keep your 🧢 on, Joanne Jimmy: oh no hang on, you're fucked it's ⛅ Janis: nah, you're alright Janis: straightened it Jimmy: sounds fake Jimmy: if you're gonna bother lying 🥉 at least Janis: words have an impact Janis: think before you bully Jimmy: 📷 do an' all Jimmy: show us Janis: keen Jimmy: to show you up as talking bollocks Jimmy: always Janis: for me to show up Janis: definitely Jimmy: that'd do an' all Janis: sweet Janis: one more drop off Jimmy: the 🍬🍬 are for the journey but alright you can have one before if you don't say owt to the others Janis: you know me Janis: 🤐 always Jimmy: which 🐕 is it? Janis: not your rival Janis: the fat pug thing Jimmy: were gonna say bring it instead of ours but nah Janis: poor thing breathes worse than you 🚬 Jimmy: every lass would be shitting themselves that there's a perv on the train Janis: another one, anyway Jimmy: Oi, it's just my ☠ lungs Jimmy: stop making me breathless and we'll be alright Janis: unless you truly have invited the gals on a road trip, you won't have to fake that Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: too late or? Janis: you joking? they need 3-5 business days to get ready for school and we have a fucking uniform Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: you know that Janis: yeah Janis: we could do something like that though, might be useful Jimmy: should probably ask 'em what they're doing a bit an' all Janis: you can do that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you're better at it Jimmy: dunno if that's a compliment or an insult but alright Janis: take it as a compliment so you take on all the work Janis: I just Janis: I hate them more than you do Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: take the 🥇 and 😇 Jimmy: not til I say we don't have to go to whatever bollocks party they're 🗨 about at a guess Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I can fake something here 🏠 whenever Jimmy: and you're still 🥇 Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but we're trying to make shit easier, that's the whole plan, and all I'm saying Janis: and trying to fuck their shit up, all I'm saying Jimmy: okay Janis: if I didn't wanna do it no more, I'd tell you Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll leave it out now Janis: it's whatever Janis: I'm on my way to yours now, sorry took so long Jimmy: 👍 Janis: more meant to the kids than you tbh Jimmy: I'll tell 'em how 💔 you are that they got to watch telly for a bit longer then Janis: well, nothing worse than hanging about whilst the adults piss about doing fuck knows Jimmy: I've been doing fuck loads, first off Jimmy: second of all, Cass is outvoted on wanting you to piss off in the other direction so Janis: I bet Janis: having a ☕ putting the 🧺 out taking some well important well long 📞s Jimmy: 45 not 85 tah very much Jimmy: you'll have me 🌱 next Janis: selfish of you not to 🌧 Jimmy: don't reckon 👦 and 🐕 who are both ✔🏖 would see it like that Jimmy: probably call it a dickhead move 💔🎻 Janis: that's a self-explanatory sign, I remember Jimmy: when you get here he wants to 🗨 about sandcastles Jimmy: you* Jimmy: I'll just say you're 🏆🥇👑 nowt to worry about Janis: well I actually am so don't you be chatting shit about me Janis: I'll know Jimmy: 🙈 🙉 🙊 Janis: he's my little mate Janis: dob you well in Jimmy: he would Janis: bless Janis: better be nice to me then Jimmy: I said about 🍬🍬 what else do you want? Janis: it's a start Janis: can see as we go Jimmy: still high maintenance as a mate then Janis: you want one who'll be friends with any dickhead, do you Jimmy: can't even fake that being a yeah to wind you up Janis: feel 🍀 Jimmy: you should Janis: HA Jimmy: steady on, you'll hurt yourself Janis: I'm outside whenever you're ready Jimmy: [comes out and over to her to touch the curls like oh hey you're still there then] Janis: [😏 and bats his hand away like obviously I did not] Jimmy: [Twix running out like HEY GAL v excited] Janis: [give her some love 'we going on the bus or train or what?'] Jimmy: [just shouting your sister like if they don't hurry up we're not going anywhere vibes because doing his head in already lol] Janis: [just doing the 😬 face] Jimmy: [makes you 😏 in spite of everything] Janis: [gestures to her mouth like, you did promise me sweets though] Jimmy: [obvs chucks them at her] Janis: [taking two and putting her finger to her lips] Jimmy: [the kids appearing as soon as she's eaten them so the secret is safe] Janis: [chat to Bobby about these sandcastles] Jimmy: [he wants to know if you've got skills gal] Janis: [just like 'course I do, let's make a better one than him lol] Jimmy: [competition is definitely happening, we must] Janis: [fosho] Jimmy: [I wonder how long this train ride is, I hope it's not awkwardly long lol] Janis: [there's beaches near enough it shouldn't be crazy] Jimmy: [at least you've got the dog and kids to distract you lads] Janis: [just being so sociable rn] Jimmy: [we know it's because there's a vibe between you too but I'm still here for this family unite so go ahead and #bond babe] Janis: [you'd try anyway 'cos not a prick but this is helping can't lie so pop off] Jimmy: [always nice to see another side of him too so I'm about it, we should probably let Bobby win this sandcastle contest soz Cass] Janis: [you can slay all the arcade games don't be too fuming] Jimmy: [don't kick his sandcastle down he will be devvo] Janis: [ahh the drama, so arcades, ice cream, candyfloss, the little rides they have at the beach, sandcastles, chips, anything else?] Jimmy: [getting chased by seagulls and Twix chasing them, having to get her when she legs it into the sea and it being freezing lol] Janis: [should be near the end so they then have to wait to dry off, anyway, all of this has the potential to be awks, like anything they inadvertently end up doing as a pair] Jimmy: [when you're so in love and in a rom com that you can't stop having romantic moments] Janis: [not like you can just ignore each other the whole day, would be weird] Jimmy: [soz again Cass you still gonna be 🙄 even though they're not smooching] Janis: [ugh, so cringe] Jimmy: [Jimothy 100000% has to get her a shit thing from the arcade with his tokens because she gave him that bed screw after school trip so it's his turn for a memento] Janis: [a must] Jimmy: [you two are cute nerds] Janis: [when you've not had close friends or a boyfriend so all of this is so confusing like is this how it's meant to be or what] Jimmy: [and she doesn't even have anyone she can talk to about it, soz for doing this to you babe] Janis: [can't really put the feelers out like hey] Jimmy: [especially not with him because he'd be like obvs this is fine, because you're not gonna be like no actually I'm in love with you so] Janis: [we're not doing that again] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to snuggle after being in the freezing sea] Janis: [true] Jimmy: [Twix shaking all over Bobby who is the only one who didn't get in the sea like thanks for that babe we're all wet and cold now] Janis: [oh Twix] Jimmy: [she's living her best life, oblivious to all this JJ drama] Janis: [I like to think there's a stop that's a few before theirs that is closer to the farm so just hopping off there like you ever go home] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: yeah, it was fun, cheers Jimmy: didn't make me wanna 💀💀💀 Jimmy: must've been Janis: practically a 5🌟 review Jimmy: I won't tweet it out but Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for it Janis: you already gave it to me Jimmy: have another one then Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: do you have enough 🎫s Jimmy: they're all asleep, I can be nice to you now Janis: yeah? Janis: you've been pretty nice Jimmy: [a picture of them all snoozing on this train like see] Jimmy: you don't reckon I can be any nicer? bit rude Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 they bring that chill home but won't hold my breath for you Janis: I'm sure you can Janis: whether you will is a different question Jimmy: don't matter, I can chuck 'em at Ian in a bit Jimmy: Oi, why wouldn't I? Janis: you're pretty busy Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend or real mate? Janis: 🥇brother Jimmy: I ain't got a mug, can't be Janis: should've looked Janis: must've been one with all the kiss me quick shit Jimmy: I'll get our kid set up 🎨 keep him busy crafting so I'm not too busy for you Janis: can use all the 🐚s he got Jimmy: don't fancy drinking a brew out of a 🐚 but I'll have him crack on with one for you 🧜 Janis: you should ™ it now, we're only a trend or two away Jimmy: might be a way to get 💀👑 and her mates on side, tah Janis: they'll be all about the salt water, DUH Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: think even your sister had a good time though Janis: between the 😒🙄 Jimmy: she's probably moved from 🤬 to 😠 scale wise Janis: take it as a win Jimmy: you can do Janis: 🏆 you said Jimmy: don't worry I'm not taking it back Jimmy: you earned it Janis: you can try Janis: already on my shelf with all my others Janis: not find it now Jimmy: too 💪 for me to have a go an' all, you Janis: 🤔 Janis: now you're being too nice and it's weird Jimmy: Hang on, I'll wake my sister and slag you off for a bit Janis: 👍 Janis: can give me the notes when you're done Jimmy: you know I can't write Jimmy: no need for you to be mean Janis: voice notes exist Jimmy: you can just say you miss me, mate Jimmy: it's alright Janis: how could I Janis: literally just left Jimmy: your accent kink were unlocked ages ago Janis: if I had one, I'd have better taste 😏 Jimmy: the whole north is 💔😭🎻 girl Jimmy: 🤞 you're proud of yourself Janis: you show me your fit long lost cousins, I'll take it back Jimmy: if I find 'em I'll be too busy arranging a lift home to chuck 'em at you Janis: rude but fair Jimmy: crack on after if you fancy Janis: don't really need your permission Jimmy: you put your sister off limits, I can do the same Janis: immediate family only Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that only gives me Ian Janis: and he's well 😍 Janis: appreciate my struggle Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you've got some fit sisters AND a gay brother Janis: you piss off Janis: no I don't Jimmy: none of 'em? 💔 Jimmy: your fit mum'll have to do then Janis: shut up Jimmy: @ her I'll be over for my tea in a bit and I don't eat nowt like 🥦🌽🥕 Janis: you're the least funny person I've ever met Jimmy: 🤡💔😭 Janis: 🖕🔥💀 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: alright, ALL my attention's back on you Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: you don't have to want it to get it, Jill Janis: 🙄 you telling me things I know now Jimmy: head that big we'd never 🗨 if I didn't Janis: and what a tragedy that would be 👻🖋 Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll go to sleep an' all then 🤞 we'll miss our stop and end up somewhere more #goals Jimmy: 👋🏠 Janis: unlikely Janis: don't go 🌙 Jimmy: worth a 🎯 Janis: that was what I reckoned but weren't buzzing for me so Jimmy: make Ian 😤 when he has to come fetch us if nowt else Janis: worth it Jimmy: 👍 night Janis: whatever idiot Jimmy: parting IS such sweet sorrow with you 💕 Jimmy: so lovely to me Janis: you want gutted I can offer a tweet or an insta post Jimmy: stick with 🖕🔥💀 it's more real Janis: that it is, mate Jimmy: no need to take over telling me shit I know Janis: 👍 Janis: sweet dreams then Jimmy: tah Janis: hmu when you wanna do something fake Jimmy: lasses first Jimmy: loads of options in the group 🗨 Janis: well I got some 📸 today I can make look goals Jimmy: #same Jimmy: can fake you're here as long as 💀👑 ain't at yours when you get back Jimmy: might make it a bit harder if she 👀 you Janis: unless she's that 😍 she sees me everywhere Jimmy: 🤢🤢 Jimmy: be about right, that Janis: don't chat like I'm not a top mirage Jimmy: weren't me saying nowt Janis: hmm Jimmy: I rate you, I've said Jimmy: don't rate her 😍💕🔪 with you Janis: Bill probably does Jimmy: @ him for his review Janis: might be the storyline he goes with Janis: if one of us pretends to be a lad for a bit or whatever Jimmy: does LOVE a bit of that but you'd still end up with a lad by the end though Jimmy: if you're not 💀💀💀 Janis: obviously 💀💀💀 Jimmy: go on and make me feel less special, dickhead Janis: never promised you're the only one that dies Jimmy: you can't be my Juliet and some other lass Jimmy: for or with 💀👑 Janis: stick to the script, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 not ✏️ Janis: where's your chainmail look then Jimmy: Oi, least shout me a drink first Janis: I'm with the astronaut not fannying about getting you drinks Jimmy: bit rude Janis: talk about rude Janis: you're gatecrashing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Jimmy: know where I ain't 💕 Janis: have you not seen the 1996 classic or what Janis: main plot point there Jimmy: Leo's dead distracting, who can follow owt going on with the plot Janis: it's my parent's party, you, your cousin and your mates gatecrash 'cos you're off your tits Janis: astronaut is my fiance and you're well in love with this other girl, 'til we 👀 through a massive fish tank Jimmy: Oh Bill, he don't know you're the pisshead, well awkward Jimmy: I remember that bit 🐠 🐟 Jimmy: must be the fish kink you said I had Janis: see Janis: 💫 Jimmy: Who's the dickhead you're marrying? Janis: Paul Rudd Janis: well in, tbh Jimmy: does the lass I dump for you even get a face? Janis: nah Janis: you're that dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be like my ex who you've only got my word for existing Janis: she is my cousin and all, why you're at the party Janis: which is a bit rude to bin her off there and then but Janis: 🐠 🐟 kink Jimmy: I told you it shouldn't only be immediate family off limits, Jules Jimmy: you weren't having none of it Janis: don't matter Janis: you don't even speak to her before reckoning you're well 😍 Jimmy: finally sounds like me Jimmy: nice one Bill Janis: 'course Janis: he is well mopey Jimmy: DUH, not just him 'cause I'm the lad Jimmy: if the 😭 fits Janis: try out for Hamlet next, boy Jimmy: don't reckon that's the school play on offer Jimmy: but I'll have a word Janis: please do Janis: Shane who's had every lead since we were 👶 would piss himself Jimmy: only if you're at the front to 👏 and chuck 🌹 at us Jimmy: very shy, me Janis: like fuck are you Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: you're practically an exhibitionist Jimmy: Dunno what you've 👂 or 👀 Jimmy: but that sounds well fake Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌👌 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: not like I've ended up nearly naked at a party 'cos of you or nothing Jimmy: that weren't deliberate Janis: nah? Jimmy: it means nowt but I'm heavy handed and that dress weren't worth the 💰 Janis: nicked it anyway Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: and you never flashed nobody 'cause I gave you my jacket Jimmy: what kind of exhibitionist would do that? Janis: joke 🤡 Jimmy: Oi don't be calling me a joke Janis: would be a compliment, if I were Jimmy: how would it? Janis: clowns are meant to be funny Jimmy: funny weren't what you said Janis: what's a joke if not funny Jimmy: you're taking the piss, not giving me a compliment Jimmy: might be thick but I can work out the difference Janis: so you know I was saying I was joking and you're being picky about nothing right now Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: 👍 Janis: you're the one being a dick but alright Jimmy: nah you're the one winding me up about something I already feel 😳 about Janis: why Janis: not like I actually care or cared Jimmy: shut up about it then Janis: fine, jesus christ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be about it alright Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Janis: no need Jimmy: you said you were gonna stop going on about it Janis: I'm just saying Jimmy: no need Janis: okay Jimmy: 👌 Janis: they're not here by the way Janis: so pretend I'm there Jimmy: Alright Janis: cool Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: not going nowhere far so it don't count as covering Jimmy: weren't asking Jimmy: it's a piss easy job when it don't drag on Janis: ? Jimmy: faking that we're 🏠💕 Janis: alright, thrilled for you then Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for when we've got 👀🍿 Janis: I get it Jimmy: nowt to get, I don't need 👏🏆🌹 for this Janis: you want me to piss off Jimmy: sounds like you've got somewhere to be Janis: so we can't 💬 Jimmy: do you want to? Jimmy: 'cause it didn't sound like it Janis: that was you Jimmy: you started it Janis: no I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: 1. jumping off the train without even a 😘 2. getting engaged to Paul Rudd 3. being a dickhead to me Janis: 1. I said bye 2. if you were paying attention you'd know we was already 👰🤵 before I could be forced to marry him 3. you're a bigger dickhead to me Jimmy: very convenient all that Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: What are you doing other than 🙄 at me for nowt? Janis: going for a run Jimmy: so how do you reckon we're gonna 🗨? Jimmy: you gonna send me breathless voice memos or what? Janis: I don't get out of breath 'cos I'm not 🚬🍔🍻 Jimmy: *🥧🥔 first off Jimmy: second, not 🏃 hard or far enough then, are you? Janis: its called pacing Jimmy: next you're gonna try and lie to me that you don't sweat like that pervy prince Jimmy: it's called bollocks Janis: fine then, no one is about to force you Jimmy: What, to believe you? Weren't likely, my dear Janis: talk, prick Jimmy: I don't need to be forced, I only asked how you were gonna manage it whilst being SUCH an athlete Janis: talk to text, as if it matters Jimmy: was that so hard? Janis: why did you need tk know, just to be awkward Jimmy: it were an easy enough question Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what have I done now? Jimmy: too nice a bit ago, too much of a dickhead after Janis: forget it Jimmy: Why, 'cause you don't wanna talk to me and you're just putting it on me like I don't or? Janis: if I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't be Jimmy: What then? Janis: it's just Janis: weird Jimmy: it's always been weird Jimmy: you're my fake girlfriend Janis: too weird maybe Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: that I duon't reckon this is gonna work Janis: don't* Jimmy: which bit? Janis: being mates Jimmy: So what, you just wanna treat this like another job? Janis: yeah, I guess Janis: be easier Janis: and that's the point Jimmy: except I'm not a 🐕 that needs a piss but alright Janis: I'm not saying you are Jimmy: you're just saying that's what you wanna treat me like Jimmy: job done Janis: no, we don't have to be cunts to each other Janis: but I don't do friends, where are the rest of mine, like Janis: can't hack it Jimmy: you could've said before you spent the day becoming mates with my little brother Janis: I was trying Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'll sign that to him then, tah Janis: I didn't think it'd be this hard Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: it's you, I can't be around you Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: but you reckon you're alright to be around me at some bollocks or owt else where you need a fake boyfriend Jimmy: party* Janis: if you don't want to do it no more then fine Jimmy: it's you who can't hack me Jimmy: I had a lovely time Janis: you know why Jimmy: I said no to fucking you once, there's why Janis: yeah, I already feel like a piece of shit for it, you don't need to do that for me Jimmy: how do you think I feel? that's all you want me for Janis: I don't do friends it ain't tat you wouldn't be a decent one Janis: that* Jimmy: right and as long as I can fake being a decent boyfriend, what does it matter? Jimmy: tah for the heads up Janis: obviously we're not going to do that no more Janis: I didn't want to just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: obviously I don't get a fucking say Jimmy: why would I 'cause you don't care what I want Janis: Yes I do Janis: that's why I did this, 'cos otherwise I was just lying to you Jimmy: bit late to chime in with that bollocks when you've already pissed all over everything Jimmy: but alright Janis: what else can I do Jimmy: nowt clearly 'cause you tried really hard for a day Janis: you shouldn't have to try to be someone's mate, would you, that's the whole point Jimmy: you shouldn't have said you were up for it if you weren't Janis: nah Jimmy: 📞 that dickhead, bet he'll have another go at ending this for us Janis: don't, alright Jimmy: soz, you've probably 💭🥇💡 while I were pissing about on the 🏖 Jimmy: go on Janis: No, I haven't Janis: I had a good time too, it's not about that Jimmy: let me know when you have then Jimmy: so I know what I'm going along with Janis: it doesn't matter, I don't care Jimmy: you're not gonna pull your weight with this either Jimmy: tah very much Janis: literally the furthest thing from my mind right now Janis: so sorry Jimmy: yeah, you gave out the apologies a bit ago, no need to tack that one on Janis: so what, I'm meant to keep hanging out with you all the time, and pretend I don't want to kiss you, that's normal, is it? Jimmy: how about I gave you 3 days and you can't even give me one Janis: what? Jimmy: I told you why I only wanted to be mates, that I didn't wanna fuck this up, and you're just cracking on with that anyway Janis: and it's me that only wants a fake boyfriend? Jimmy: yeah, THAT'S what I meant by any of that Janis: how would I know? all I know is I can't fake be all over you one second then barely talk to you the next Jimmy: I weren't asking you for that, I never have done Janis: that's exactly what we do Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: I talk to you Janis: would you rather I lie about it Jimmy: if it means I don't get left with fuck all, I might do Janis: I get fuck all too Jimmy: that don't make me feel better, funnily enough Janis: there ain't nothing I can do that will Jimmy: you could not do this Janis: if that were true, I wouldn't have Jimmy: there's nowt else to say then Janis: alright Jimmy: just go Janis: I have Jimmy: stop talking to me, dickhead Janis: [shall I post? or are we skipping to whatever is next?] Janis: [how should we start whatever is next, for that matter?] Jimmy: [I was thinking maybe he could be drunk and feelsy because we've done her already but I don't know how to just kick that off like] Janis: [I had a similar thought that regardless it needs to come from him 'cos she's put it out there low-key twice now and has got ultimately a no response each time so, could go the route of it being a party and thus like, come fake, even if it's a no obvs 'cos can carry on the convo or you could commit to just starting the convo from the off] Jimmy: [when I was in your archive looking for beach stuff which I rudely never found I did find a convo where it was like he'd been locked out because there's a shortage of keys in that house always and forever thanks Cass and she ultimately helped him break in so I'm wondering if I can do something with that hmmm] Jimmy: [it was a whole #mood is why I'm considering it lol] Janis: [I vibe with that] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: where's your 🔑 Jimmy: ???????? Janis: on my dog-walking keys with the rest of them Janis: why? Jimmy: 🏃🏠✔ Janis: no, didn't get that Jimmy: UGH Jimmy: just run here Janis: I've not got them on me, not walking dogs at this o'clock Janis: you lost yours? Jimmy: bring me a jacket then Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: is everyone at yours asleep? Jimmy: except Ian but it were him who chucked me out Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: alright, I'll come but I'm a bit away so you'll have to keep warm Janis: why'd he throw you out then? Jimmy: how? you don't do mates and I don't do 🏃 Jimmy: that's not why he chucked me out, don't care about my fitness Janis: not even on the spot? Janis: what about that 🍾you been drinking? not enough left to do the trick or what Jimmy: 🥂 very civilised Jimmy: I get it, you've forgotten who I am Jimmy: and you want me to chase my tail Jimmy: 🐕💔 Janis: dinner party, was it? Jimmy: you need mates for that, girl Jimmy: should've done 🐕💕 you'd like me more if I were Janis: I like you just fine Janis: and who needs mates, just steal your other glass 🥂 Jimmy: I'd have let you have it Janis: you're very generous, I've always said that Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: love a compliment, me, I remember them all Janis: 🧠 flex Jimmy: and you can't even tweet it Jimmy: 🎻😭😭 Janis: that is a tragedy, truly Janis: could do it for old times sake but Jimmy: there's loads of other things I'd rather do for old times sake before that Janis: 😱 tweeting weren't your fave Jimmy: I don't have a 🖋 can't do you a list Janis: s'alright, won't keep you warm and that's priority Jimmy: you'll keep me warm Jimmy: you'll be well warm when you've 🏃 here Janis: I'll get you in your gaff, yeah Jimmy: I don't want to be there Janis: no? Jimmy: DUH I should've kicked the door in like we did to Lucas', I didn't wanna scare him but he can't hear it, can he? Jimmy: turn back around, it's alright Janis: I reckon your house doors are a bit sturdier, don't do that, alright Jimmy: Cass won't be 🤬 she loves kicking a door in Jimmy: unless she thinks it's my mum coming back Janis: and your dad will be regardless Janis: it's not a good idea Jimmy: be a 🥇 entrance if it were here though Jimmy: her* Janis: pretty impressive Janis: have to at this point, right? Jimmy: 🍾 be out then Janis: yeah Jimmy: what are you doing? Janis: coming to get you, obviously Jimmy: but before Janis: with all my mates? Janis: nothing, really, just Janis: about Jimmy: 🧛 business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: 🦇🩸 Janis: exactly Janis: if I told you I'd have to eat you Jimmy: just don't be biting anyone else Jimmy: I don't care what you do to me Janis: I haven't Janis: that kind of night, I get that, too Jimmy: on any night, don't Janis: it's very unlikely Janis: even though it's a bit mean you want me to starve Jimmy: I said you can have me Janis: you'd get me pissed right now Jimmy: wouldn't even cost you nowt Jimmy: 🥇 date, me Janis: cheap, too 😏 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: no 🎫 needed either Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: weren't enough for my ex Jimmy: I @ed her but she don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: there's a mate you could have Janis: reckon that's her loss Janis: but I'm alright for her Jimmy: #savage Janis: don't think she's dying to talk to me either, it's alright Jimmy: might be now I fucked this up an' all Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: you can swap stories of how crap I am Janis: she fucked around on you, you've told me before, can't be your fault Jimmy: DUH 'cause I was crap Janis: you aren't crap Janis: this were my fault, remember Jimmy: no, it weren't Janis: of course it was Jimmy: of course it weren't Jimmy: you said why you pissed off, it were nowt to do with me, what were I gonna do, hold it against you forever Janis: you told me why you can't have that and it's probably a lot more valid than why I stropped off Jimmy: people leave me Jimmy: or wanna Jimmy: 🎻🎻 etc Janis: it's really fucked, about your mum, you don't need to act like it ain't Janis: I get why you reacted how you did Jimmy: you came back Jimmy: I didn't have to be a prick about it Janis: when I came back Janis: I made loads more mistakes too Jimmy: I didn't even ask if you were alright Jimmy: I haven't now either Janis: 'cos you know Janis: like I know Janis: we're clearly not alright, as people, are we Jimmy: owt could've happened to you and I just had a go, without waiting a sec or leaving it out for one Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: and I'm sorry I set you up to piss off again by reckoning you would Janis: it's alright Janis: nothing happened to me Janis: well, I'll tell you what it actually was, but I don't know if it'll sound like much now Janis: my dad, as Mia pointed out ages ago, died a few months back Janis: but before that he was a piece of shit and had loads of kids and fuck all to do with any of us for a proper amount of time Janis: and his mum likes to act like he was some saint, and one of his exes is clearly in the same boat and for some reason they've got it into their head we all need to get together as if he gave a shit about family when he was here or is gonna now Janis: that day they just showed up, when my mum weren't about, and wouldn't fuck off or shut up or get out my face so I just Janis: I can't even remember but my nan was on the floor like I'd stabbed her so I just had to go, no time to think or prepare anything Jimmy: 🍻 to shit dads Jimmy: I meant what I said, you can always stay here Jimmy: I'm still your mate even though you're not mine Janis: drink to that Janis: I meant what I said, or tried to say Janis: I wanna be your mate but I dunno how to be one or have one Jimmy: I know, and I'm not an expert myself, like Jimmy: it's different with lads and she were my mate, alright, but we weren't good mates to each other so Janis: you did a better job than me at any rate Janis: you were probably different before, yeah Janis: I was Jimmy: 🌧😒 still Jimmy: it were shit before an' all, just a different sort Janis: that's not gonna stop me wanting to be your friend, bit hypocritical Jimmy: just want you to know Jimmy: not sainting my mum, she were as bad as Ian when she were about Jimmy: alright, he's got worse since but Jimmy: 🌧🌧🌧 Janis: different shit, I hear you Jimmy: I didn't wanna get in over my head when you could just walk off again Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: understandable Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about how I feel Jimmy: or you Janis: no, there ain't Janis: but makes sense why you'd try Janis: half the reason I say no mates Jimmy: what's the other half, you just like being fit and mysterious? Janis: no, the, not knowing how to do it and not liking to be shit at things thing I mentioned Jimmy: you're not shit Jimmy: you said you were sorry you like me, but I'm sorry now you don't no more Jimmy: and I'm not sorry I like you Janis: It hasn't just turned itself off Janis: but it'd be unfair to have this conversation when you're wasted, wouldn't it Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: 1. what I can remember when I ain't 2. if you're gonna make me 😭 Janis: exactly, can't and won't be holding you to anything you say tonight Janis: and don't wanna make you cry either, as a rule Jimmy: but Janis Janis: you never say my name Jimmy: there's loads I don't say Janis: I can tell that much Janis: you don't have to tell me anything Jimmy: can I? If I want? Janis: yeah Janis: of course Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I'm scared Janis: what of? Jimmy: not seeing you after this Janis: after this conversation, or like Janis: when you go Jimmy: both Janis: well, you'll see me after this conversation, I can promise that Jimmy: but not like before Janis: that can be a good or a bad thing Jimmy: yeah Janis: if you do remember, and you feel the same about any of it, then we can talk about that then, work it out Jimmy: what if I don't remember? Janis: you'll read this back, I'm sure Janis: whatever you said to your ex too Jimmy: have you forgotten I'm a MASSIVE dickhead Janis: met worse Janis: sorry 💔 Jimmy: you said you don't wanna make me 😭 Janis: 🤐 Janis: you're the worst person I've ever met Janis: better? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 😏 Jimmy: do we have to go in? 🔑🏠 Janis: you should probably go in somewhere, to warm up Janis: but there's other places we can Jimmy: @ your nan who isn't evil Jimmy: tell her to put the kettle on Janis: maybe Janis: we'll see how quiet you're capable of being first Jimmy: what are you gonna be doing to me? Janis: oi, not like that Janis: more like she probably don't wanna have a chat with you but the spare room is basically mine so if you can 🤫 a tea ain't out the question Jimmy: what time is it? Janis: pretty late Janis: she ain't evil but she is 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Janis: you might 😭 Jimmy: like you Jimmy: cute Jimmy: is your mum on the scale an' all? Janis: not cute Janis: not really Janis: she's a bit of a hippie throwback but not all ✌&💕 Jimmy: that'll be why you live in the middle of nowt, I get it 🌳🌼🌻🌱 Janis: a longer story than that Janis: but cut short, my dad was such a dick, his granddad would rather live with and leave my ma a farmhouse than him, and that's what happened Jimmy: wish I could chuck Ian out for being a knobhead Janis: when you got enough to pay the bills Jimmy: gonna start chucking stones at your nan's window of a night Jimmy: have that spare room out from under you, girl Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean, really harsh to take my role and my balcony from me like that but I get it Jimmy: your granddad still about or what? Janis: yeah, unlucky Janis: if she don't fuck you up he will Jimmy: 💔 but not for her probably, just me Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: used to it, been dumped more times than I've had girlfriends Janis: explains why you're used to the #drama Jimmy: 🖋👻🎭 Janis: she can be rosaline then Jimmy: Bill would have one of his characters end up a child bride to their dad's best mate Janis: seriously, do need to ring someone about that Janis: remind me Jimmy: it's grim up north, babe Janis: so you keep telling me Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see for yourself Jimmy: I'll pack you in my bag Janis: 👍 Janis: why not Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how are you, are you still cold? Janis: I'm basically there now Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: okay, I'll 🏃 this bit fast, hold on Jimmy: you're so Janis: shh Jimmy: you said I could tell you Jimmy: owt I want Janis: okay but I won't be replying Jimmy: 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [😍 af] Janis: [immediately coming at him and putting your coat on him and hugging him really tight for the warmthing] Jimmy: [SUCH a hug and SUCH a happy sigh because you missed her so much] Janis: [just telling him it's alright over and over] Jimmy: [just not letting her go for the longest time and we know it's not because he was inappropriately dressed to be thrown out into the cold] Janis: [we're allowing it, before trying to get him to walk like come on then] Jimmy: [helping her like she's the one who needs it because sweet drunken nerd] Janis: ['you're an idiot' but in a purely affectionate way] Jimmy: ['you're a top runner' what a genuine and pure thing to say sir] Janis: ['thanks' amusment] Jimmy: ['it's alright' such a genuinely cute smile like] Janis: [can't help but smile back 'I'll get you another key done tomorrow, you can hide it somewhere for emergencies'] Jimmy: ['Dunno what you heard but I'm living with your fit nan now so'] Janis: [nudging him but very gently so he's not falling] Jimmy: [dramatically hitting the deck like he's been shot but extending his hand once he's down there like come lie with me not like help me up] Janis: [being like 'Jimmy!' and getting to his side so fast 'cos you think he's actually hurt himself so then you're 😒 'how about we wait 'til we're inside to lie down, yeah'] Jimmy: [popping back up v quickly but forlorn because you don't want her to be mad at you and touching that grumpy face v softly like hey no I'm okay it's fine] Janis: [cupping his own face 'don't scare me' like barely audible even though it's assumedly pretty quiet and you're the only people about] Jimmy: [shaking his head cos he didn't mean to and he doesn't want to ever and giving her another hug] Janis: [being like soz 'cos feeling like an overreaction now and shamed] Jimmy: [just snuggling her and being soft until she feels more chill, like hide against me gal it's okay because we understand] Janis: [just have a moment kids] Jimmy: [then have a walking and handholding moment] Janis: [get to mcvickers] Jimmy: [try not to anger this nan] Janis: [just putting him to bed and going to sneaky get a tea] Jimmy: [tbf all you'd have to say is that he got locked out and she'd be fine, we know the life she lived] Janis: [although #yesallmen lmao] Jimmy: [distrust of all y'all except her own bae] Janis: [fair tbh] Jimmy: [Caleb that's something else you did, you prick] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [tea will make you feel better though Jimothy] Janis: [bring that up] Jimmy: [drinking it whilst 😍 because we're not hiding nothing tonight] Janis: [looking at him like what you looking at but knowing saying that would be dangerous rn] Jimmy: [just being like 'come here' even if she's already next to you and as close as she could physically be because you always wanna be closer than that] Janis: ['drink your tea' but sitting next to him on the bed instead of at the foot of] Jimmy: [does what he's told] Janis: [after a while 'how do you feel now?'] Jimmy: ['gutted there were no biscuits but I'll live'] Janis: [😏 'if you're actually hungry-' and half getting up] Jimmy: [lowkey probably is but stopping her from going and pulling her into him in one swag movement because priorities and having her on his lap is a shameless fave] Janis: [soft 'hey' forever] Jimmy: ['please don't leave' softer and quieter] Janis: ['you can go to sleep, and I'll still be here when you wake up' squeezing his hand in silent promise] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on that hand with his other one but not moving other than that because we're having emotions] Janis: [laying down whilst in his lap so with her head on his chest and telling him it'll be alright again] Jimmy: [just have your snuggle kids] Janis: [lull that boy to sleep]
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klaineownsmysoul · 5 years
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hello. i've just started glee (lol i know i'm super late) and i'm obsessed with klaine. could you explain why you don't like season 6 klaine? should i not watch it
First off - welcome to the Klaine fandom!  Its never too late to join. I’m pretty sure as long as this show is streaming somewhere, new people will be discovering it all the time.  I myself am notorious for wandering into a show after 3 or 4 seasons - Modern Family, Supernatural, 24 - are some prime examples of shows I was late to the party to and then lost my mind catching up on. Secondly - congratulations on having excellent taste! 😉  Klaine is really the only thing worth remembering Glee for.  
With regards to your question about season 6?  Well, I’m not sure where you are in terms of episodes and seasons and I don’t want to spoil anything for you if you don’t want to know, so consider the rest of this post as one giant spoiler. I would also never want to dissuade someone from watching, so please keep in mind this is just my opinion on things.  I watched through to the end as did all of my fellow Klainers here so its doable.  Its just not the easiest or prettiest thing.
**********Spoilers below************
I think for me, the word that comes to mind most and sums season 6 up best is waste.  They were utterly and completely wasted in those final 13 episodes. These were going to be the last eps we were going to get with them and my reaction week after week was “tick tock bitches, where’s my Klaine?”   Their storyline - if you can even call it that - went nowhere.  People’s opinions on season 6 varied - some liked it, some like me loathed almost every moment of it, some disliked it as it aired but have mellowed since - but I think one thing we could all pretty much agree on is that no one wanted to go back to Lima.  Doing that erased any forward momentum they gathered during the last half of season 5 episodes when they finally dumped all the dead weight holding this show back and concentrated solely on an NYC arc.   As off kilter as those eps felt Klaine-wise, at least they were interesting and a move in the right direction.  Watching Blaine waste away in Lima alone for all of season 4 and then ¾ of season 5 pissed me off to no end.  It shouldn’t have taken so long to get him and Kurt back in the same place and I’m not going to get off on a rant here about how they never should have been separated in the first place.  I could write a dissertation on how that one decision - de-aging Blaine and making him a junior - was the dumbest fucking thing this show ever did.  And considering the dumbass decisions this show made along the way, that is really saying something.  But I digress.  They ended season 5 in such a good place relationship wise that to decide to break them up again in the season premiere and then have their story grind to a halt for 7 episodes before they got married was a knife to my heart week after week.  Breaking them up in a cold cruel flashback was bad enough.  Having Blaine be so upset that he was kicked out of the school he worked so hard to get into, his so-called friends forgot all about his existence and he had nothing and no one to lean on so he had to move back home to Ohio was terrible.  But the worst of the worst - Blaine and DK.  That was an unforgivable sin as far as I’m concerned.  It goes against everything that makes Blaine Blaine and was nothing but a giant glowing middle finger from RIB to the Klaine fandom.  To bring back a character that was not missed, not even mentioned during season 4 and only once in season 5 and placing him in a romantic relationship with the soulmate of the boy he physically and emotionally abused for months on end was in the most appalling taste possible.  It was deliberately aimed at our fandom by RIB as the ultimate “fuck you.”  Nothing more because they are petty little assholes.  Every single time he was within 50 feet of Blaine or god forbid touched him, my soul died a little.  The Blaine I know and adore would never ever ever in a million years look at him and see anything but the guy who drove Kurt to Dalton because he feared for his life.  And Kurt?  He realized he fucked up, left NYC to come back to Lima for Blaine and then…nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  He spent more time as Rachel’s god damned cheerleader than he did trying to woo Blaine back, which would have been the only redeeming piece of them being apart.  Because it had to come from Kurt.  He was the one who ended things; Blaine never wanted to leave.  So the apology and reasons and the heartfelt declarations of love that we are accustomed to coming from Blaine had to come from Kurt to make this worthwhile.  But sadly, like every other aspect of season 6, they fumbled this too.  Badly.  They danced around each other awkwardly for 7 episodes and nothing was accomplished or moved forward.  I can’t get into an angry rant here about their wedding; I will be here all damn night. I have made my feelings crystal clear about that already during many a rage post, but let’s just say that ep may be the biggest disappointment I have ever experienced tv wise.  Nothing was theirs, nothing about the wedding had anything to do with them as a couple.  They were a throw in and then thrown aside just as quickly.  Their 30 second “reunion” if you can even call it that after 7 eps of pure hell was yet another slap in the face.  Blaine’s “there’s no one else” was everything that he needed to hear from Kurt and a small novel of explanation more.  But no.  We weren’t gifted with one of those trademark heart to hearts that we got during season 3; those convos that separated them from every other couple on this show and made me believe that even though they were so young, they really were meant to be.  And then once they were married, they disappeared.  Sure they were around physically, but that’s it.  Dalton burns down and Klaine is given fuck all to do story-wise.  A place that held so much importance for them as a couple was destroyed as a plot device and their reaction was limited to Blaine’s sad puppy eyes at the beginning of the ep.  We got one sentence from Kurt in some ep I can’t remember about Blaine getting into NYU for the next semester and that was the extent of their future plans.  They never had a conversation about moving back and what they would look like, what that would entail in terms of living arrangements and how they would do better as a couple now that they know what they have and how much they don’t want to lose each other again.  Nothing,  Season 6 should have built upon 5x20 and culminated in their wedding.  We should have gotten wedding planning and vows and honeymoon destination discussions and ring shopping and they should have had a wedding that reflected who they are as a couple.  It should not have been a means to end so Glee could show off their super awesome double gay wedding that managed to unite 2 fandoms that generally don’t get along in their utter dislike.  Congrats - RIB managed to craft an ep where 2 fan favorite couples got married that was panned by both fandoms.  That takes a special level of obliviousness.  
More newbies introduced in season 6 that no one needed and just took up valuable time that could have been put to Klaine or wrapping up the stories from the already bloated original cast.  I wasn’t going to invest myself in characters with an expiration date, so spending endless time on them was time I wasn’t going to get back.  Everyone and their mother propping Rachel up and telling her how great she is, how much of a star she is, and how nothing that’s happened to her could possibly be her fault because she is perfect was infuriating.  Pointless duets between her and Sam when we all knew their weird sudden relationship wasn’t going anywhere.  Having Mr. Schue and Coach Sue getting as many duets as Klaine did during season 6 is a sentence I should never type but I just did.  Neither Kurt nor Blaine getting a solo at all.  My god, how the fuck did that happen?   Why did that happen?  It was like they went out of their way to screw Kurt and Blaine as individual characters and and as a couple.  Having an entire episode centered on some bratty preteen who sang more than Klaine did.  Having 2 episodes without Kurt and Blaine at all and the only reason they threw Blaine into the 2009 flashback was because people flipped the fuck out at the idea of him not being in a 3rd episode out of 13.  
There’s a reason why during 3 @comewatchklaine rewatches, the only full ep from season 6 we watched was 6x13, the series finale.  Some kind soul pulled together the Klaine bits from eps 5 and on and all of that was only about 40 minutes long.  40 minutes.  40 minutes worth of Klaine in like 7 episodes and that doesn’t include the first 4 because those were a complete waste.  The locker scene and flash forward were the only bits that felt authentically Klaine to me.  That is what I choose to remember because the rest of it taints this show to me.   
So long story long, that is why I loathe and despise season 6 as a whole. I’m sorry I don’t have more positive things to say.  Please don’t take my words as a reason to skip the end - if you want to watch, go ahead.  I would never want to be why someone missed out on something they might enjoy.   Season 6 could have and should have been amazing; so amazing that saying goodbye to them would have been heartbreaking.  Instead, I was glad I got to see them get married and that they got the happy ending they deserved, but that was about it.  If that’s how little this show thought of them at that point, I was glad to see it end.  I will always be grateful that it gave me Klaine because I will love them always.  I will never forgive them, though, for the appalling way they were treated and its why I make a concerted effort to avoid anything RIB has a hand in now and in the future.
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dbzebra · 5 years
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OMG all those prompts scream Marten (and Trunks xD) to me!! Wouldn't you like to try to use them all in the same story? No? :P If not, “Hold my hand before I stab you with it." please? xD This is how prompts work right? I'm lost...
Title: “Regaining My Wings”
Words: 2410
Pairing: Marten (Goten x Marron)
A/N: Here is my submission for Marron Day for @dbnextgenweek !! I’m so sorry it’s so late! I was rusty from not writing in so long. I had to rewrite this like four times until I had something I actually liked lol. 
This just a super fluffy self indulgent oneshot like all the rest, but please enjoy! I may post on AO3 later
Flight, also known as the ‘bukujutsu’ technique. Many years ago,it was an extremely advanced martial arts technique that only a select few ofmartial arts masters knew.
Those days however were long gone. Even Son Goku’s owngranddaughter, Pan, learned to fly when she was just a little baby.
Flying had become just as easy as walking for the Z Fighters.
Except if you were like Marron and afraid of anything to do withheights, including flying.
Marron never used to be afraid. Not even the slightest. When Marron was achild, she’d be the first one to want to go higher and higher when she wouldride on the Flying Nimbus when on adventures with her two best friends, Gotenand Trunks.
However, one incident when she was about nine years old changedthat.
Marron was happily sitting on the Nimbus with Goten in front ofher, peering over and looking at the amazing sights. The rolling mountains werebeautiful that high up. Oceans seemed never ending. It was simply breathtakingfor an adventurous child.
But then, when she leaned further down to get a better look at apretty bird flying by, Marron accidentally slipped off the fluffy yellow cloudand plummeted towards the Earth.
Marron screamed and covered her face with her hands,sobbing, until she suddenly stopped. After realizing what had happened, shewiped her eyes and opened them to see Goten smiling down at her. He had jumpedoff of Nimbus and caught her. She was shaking and really freaked out, butotherwise was fine.
But since that day Marron off heights (and ever learning how tofly) for good.
Krillin and 18 tried to help her get over her fear a dozen times,but being as stubborn as she was, Marron wouldn’t even consider it for years.Every time she even looked over from somewhere high up, her legs would turn tojelly and her heart would jump into her throat like the time she actually didfall.
The only time she slightly budged was after she and Goten starteddating. Marron would only go on Nimbus if she could sit on his lap and cling tohim for dear life while keeping her eyes shut, not opening them until theylanded. Of course, she still didn’t know how to fly and had no plans to learneither. But it made her so happy.
Goten was always so supportive with her. He never once held itagainst her for being scared and always comforted her. No matter what, Marronfelt the safest flying with him. Besides that stupid adorable smile of his thatalways made her heart do flips, that’s what she loved most about him.
One time however, he (and Marron) were close to falling straightthrough the Nimbus because he almost got a bit too comfy withMarron sitting on his lap. It wasn’t his fault though! What else could he thinkabout when she always looked so pretty and smelled so nice? At least that’swhat he told himself.
That was almost five months ago.
It was another beautiful spring day; perfect for being outside. Marronand Goten were having a picnic date on the grass near the Son family home. Theyweren’t able to see each all week due to Marron’s cheerleading and Goten’sskipping class to train, so a weekend date was just what they both needed.
Marron wore a frilly, light-blue colored sundress and a straw sunhat. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Goten had on his signature ‘Son’ t shirtand jeans. He wanted to dress more formally but Marron insisted he was perfectjust the way he was.
The young couple had just finished eating, and were laying back onthe picnic blanket, snuggled together as they watched the clouds.
Marron pointed out different shapes. Some were little animals, andone even looked like Piccolo. The others however, were just not at all what shewas saying.
“What do mean a bear in a top hat? That’s clearly a monkey at a buffet!”
Marron sat up and stared at him. Of course that dork would seefood. “You know you’re wrong, right?”
“If by wrong, you mean right, then yes!” Goten fired back, hislips curling into his signature wide grin. “That’s clearly a monkey. See? He’sgot a tail. I’ll give you the top hat though.”
Marron giggled and playfully punched his arm before lying backdown besides him.
These peaceful days really were great. They hoped it would neverend.
Just then, Goku appeared using Instant Transmission with littlePan on his shoulders. They had just returned from the grocery store. Goten and Marron both shot up.
“Oh, hey Goten! Hi Marron! Am I interrupting?”
Marron shook her head and bowed her head. “Of course not! T-Thankyou for having me!”
“Ahh it’s nothin’! You’re like family to us.”
At the sight of her uncle, the toddler practically lunged off ofGoku’s shoulders towards Goten, tackling him into a hug.
Goten laughed and caught Pan. “Hey squirt!” He grinnedand ruffled Pan’s hair making the girl giggle.
“Me and Grandpa are gonna go flyin’ later! Do you wants tocome?” Aunt Marron, you can come too!“ Pan chirped. Ever since she learnedto fly, she would always go out for 'flying adwentures’ as she would say.
Marron frowned. She didn’t want to hold him back just because shecouldn’t fly… "Goten, it’s okay, go ahead.”
Goten only turned back to her and winked. “Panny, I’d love tobut Mare and I have plans.”
Pan just stared up at him with wide-eyed curiosity. “You meanlike kissy-kissy?” She said and then erupted into giggles and ran to Gokuwho had a teasing grin as wide as hers.
“Did you tell her to say that?!” 
Goku only grinned. “Well, is she right?”
No that’s… that’s not it at all!” Goten replied back.Was he seriously arguing with a three year old?
“Then why are you blushing?” Goku said, grinning.
Traitor! His father was normally on his side!
“Sheesh! It’s been a year you guys, when are you gonna stopteasing me?”
“The wedding~” Chi-Chi’s voice came from the upperbalcony. She was taking dried clothes off the hanger to be put away. She giggledat her son’s flustered reaction. Honestly, she loved teasing her three boys. Goten got even more easily emabarrassed than Gohan did at his age.
“Very funny.” He replied back and turned back to Marron,who was hiding her cute face from embarrassment. Her blush went from ear toear. Although it was embarrassing, she loved it. Marron gushed at the thoughtof getting married. She recalled the days when they would play house back inthe old days. Goten really had no clue, but just played along.
Goku then jumped two stories onto their upper deck, startling hiswife a bit. Goku winked at her and started helping her put away the laundrywhile Panny chased a butterfly on the grass below.
“Now’s our chance.” Goten flipped onto his feet and pulledMarron up by the hand.
She couldn’t help but blush. What was he doing so suddenly?!“G-Goten, h-hold on a second! W-Where are we going?!”
“Nowhere far! C'mon!” Goten (quite literally) swept hisgirlfriend off of her feet and into his arms and ran down the road. Marron’s hat blew off her head and fell onto the blanket as Pan trotted over to it.
Chi-Chi and Goku exchanged similar grins with each other as theirson fled and Pan giggled from below, now wearing the hat.
Goten and Marron came to a nearby clearing with a huge lake. Hegently put Marron down, and she adjusted her dress. 
“What’s the big idea?”
Marron was blushing fromthe close contact but shook it off and gazed out onto the lake. It really was beautiful. She held her hands behind her back and stared over the lake. The crystal-clear water glistened in the sunlight. Her long silky blonde hair blew in the slight breeze, tickling Goten’s nose.
“Dad used to take me here to go fishing all the time when Iwas little. Now we all go with Panny.” She heard him say. Goten inhaledand took a deep breath. “I’m feeling up for a swim! You in?”
Just then he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. ”…Hey,Goten…“
"What’s wrong?”
Marron looked away from him slightly, her ears burning. This wasit. She’d have to get over her fear sooner or later, and this would be theperfect time! “…I want to learn…” It came out as a tiny whisper,but she said it. And it felt good.
“Huh?”
“I want to learn. Teach me how to fly! I’m… I’m sick ofbeing scared! I want to go flying with you! And go out on Nimbus with you andactually have my eyes open for once! I promise I won’t hold you back anymore!”She said, fighting tears at that last part.
Goten took a step closer and brought his girlfriend into a hug,smiling warmly down at her. "Mare, it’s okay.” He gently pushed astrand of hair away from her face. “You’ve never held me back and younever will. Nothing will change that. I’ll gladly teach you. I’m honored thatyou asked me.”
"I love you, you big dork…” Marron replied, restingher head against his chest.
“I love you too.” Goten grinned and held her closer.
Marron looked down at her feet and then back up at him.“…But what if… what if I fall?” He could just hear it in hervoice. She was petrified of falling again.
“You won’t fall. I’ll be right here. You have the skill,Mare. It’s there, I know it is. You just have to stop doubting yourself. Youcan do this.”
Marron’s heart fluttered. Just like always, he knew just what tosay. She leaned up onto her tip-toes and softly kissed his lips. “You’reso sweet…”
She knew the basics of Ki and how to fight, just didn’t care forfighting. It was boring to her. She always preferred watching fights,especially from the World Tournament. The adrenaline she got from watchingfights far exceeded what she would get from something like sparring. And plus,she loved supporting her Goten in his fights.
“How did you do it so quickly? You were so young!”
Goten shrugged. “It just came easy to me, I guess. I alreadyknew all about ki, plus being half Saiyan really helps.”
Gohan had taught Goten when he was just seven years old. Beingcalled a 'super pedestrian’, whatever the heck that was, was the last straw!
After he learned that hopping and flying were in fact different,it came easy to him and soon enough…
“Birdy, a birdy, Goten is a birdy!” Little Goten sang tohimself as he flew around in figure-eight patterns high in the sky.
Goten grinned and put his hands behind his head. “Yup. Thosewere the days!”
“Personally, I think you were much cuter back then.”Marron winked at him while saying that.
“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m still very handsome!” Gotenwhined, cracking a grin.
Marron rolled her eyes with a smile and stepped away. After a moment, Marron took a deep breath andfaced him again.
“Ok. I’m ready.” Marron said. “But only on onecondition.”
“What’s that?”
“…Hold my hand.”
Goten smiled. “Is that all?
“Yes! I’m scared! So you…y-you’d better hold my handbefore… I- I stab you with it…!” Marron said, pouting up at him. Itwas obvious she just made up the first thing that came to her mind. “Orelse…”
Or else? Goten chuckled at that. He couldn’t help it when she gotall pouty and blushy like that. Especially when she’d 'threaten’ him. Usuallywith no more kisses, but he knew she’d break before he did. She always lookedso cute when she got like that.
“Of course, Here.” He held both hands out for her, notbeing able to help laughing a bit.
“…I’m serious, Goten! Don’t you dare laugh at me! Y-You’dbetter not let go either! Or… or I’ll never forgive you!” Marron said,her voice almost a squeak. She looked like she was about to cry, but it was stillso cute.
Goten leaned down and kissed Marron on the forehead, his fingersstill gently entwined with hers. “You’re too cute.”
Marron’s face turned an even brighter red. She looked like atomato. “You dummy, be serious…”
“I promise. You’re safe with me.”
“I…  I don’t know if I cando it…“
"You can do it. Just look at me, okay? Focus on me. Remember,just relax. Feel your energy from within and slowly bring it out beneath you.You can do this. I’m right here.”
Marron heart fluttered at his words. They were soothing. Shetightly shut her eyes and focused. After a moment she could feel her feet liftoff the ground and she grips his hands tighter. Goten floated up with her. Itwas relaxing, freeing almost. She felt weightless as if gravity no longer hadan effect on her.
“You’re doing it, Mare! You’re flying!” Marron openedher eyes to see that she and Goten were floating about ten feet in the air. Sheyelped and buried her face into his chest, her eyes tightly shut again.“It’s too high, …I-I can’t…”
“But you already are. All by yourself. There’s nothing to beafraid of.” She heard him tenderly say. “You’re doing it!” Gotengently said. “Want to try moving now?”
Marron slowly nodded. She repositioned herself horizontally andslowly moved around. It appeared as if she was swimming through the air as shelightly kicked her feet. Goten guided her.
She started out pretty wobbly, and didn’t keep her eyes off Goten,but she was flying all by herself. Actually flying! And not falling! “I’m doingit!” She cried happily. When she was up there with him, her fears were allgone.
“See? Now you’re a little birdy too.” He grinned as warmas the sun gleaming behind him. She’d be a natural in no time. He was so proudof her.
Marron was almost brought to tears. Her beautiful blue eyes turnedglossy as he just grinned. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her free handand flew at him into a deep kiss. They stayed up there for what felt like aneternity, both not wanting to move.
Marron couldn’t be happier.
Now if only she could figure out how to get down…
21 notes · View notes
d-soul-ution · 2 years
Text
Yesterday a colleague of mine was going around in circles and nitpicking on the latest monthly report for my portfolio - which obviously annoyed me. I usually pride myself for having it all together especially when it comes to the workplace but I lost it yesterday so I typed the following:
Me: XYZ, could you get straight to the point pls. Don't waste my time.
To which the person immediately call me and said:
XYZ: First of all please don't be rude. Second of all, you don't allow me to get to my point.
Me: This is not the 1st time you are not clear with what you need from me. The ASDE form also you couldn't give clear instructions. I made excuses for you last year given that you are new to the company, but now its been a year and I am yet to know your role.
XYZ: everyone is also busy but you have the worst attitude among the team members. I am not some kind of secretary you can order around.
At this point, I felt hurt but I reflected that maybe I have been a bit too brazen with my comments.
Me: Ok look I'm sorry, pls can u just tell me what u need.
XYZ: ABCDE. I'm sorry too I know you are busy.
Me: Yeah ok lets work better in the future.
Note: I have never met this person in real life though we've worked together for 14 months now. She is older than me by 3-4 years and has kids but is at the same level as me. Apparently, all the other fund managers in China & Japan team have issues with her - not just me. Only India team has no issues with her. Lol. Idk part of me think its her- but... oh well, maybe I'm at fault too?
Note 2: I'm still shaken by it. No one has ever said I have a difficult attitude or that I'm a bitch... but now there is one. Am I becoming someone I'll never be? Haish. Idk la. Stress.
0 notes
sstarkiid · 7 years
Note
do all of the lovesick asks bitch. expose urself
wow, ok.
read more thing bc this is long and embarrassing
1: Do you have a current crush?
Two actually but who's counting
2: How long has your crush lasted?
Uhh a few months n then the other one is weird i can't answer that lmao
3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?
I'm……..not that sappy I can give u like one
Ice prince : Runaways by ATL
Space boy : Stars by Fun.
4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?
I mean. It's very likely.
5: Will you ever reveal your feelings to them?
Yea probably
6: What’s holding you back from making a move?
It's not that I haven't made a move but like. I am Fear.
7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?
A lil
8: Do you think they could ever love you?
Maybe???? but i’m kind of an optimist
9: Do you love them?
Lol next question
10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?
DEFINITELY. I CAN'T NAME ANYONE SPECIFICALLY BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY YES.
11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you
...IT'S VERY LIKELY.
12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?
Hi Jared
13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?
I'd probably need a second to process it but like probably hug ‘em idfk
14: Has your crush ever hurt you?
Nope!!!!
15: Have they made you cry by breaking your heart?
Nope!!!!!!!!!
16: Why do you like them?
Ice prince is fun to tease idk we go back n forth a lot but he's also a softie n listen he's dramatic enough to keep up w/ me
Space boy tells u like it is and he seems kinda scary or not,, nice at first maybe but he's actually also soft !!
They're also both hot as hell oh my god
17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?
I mean. If I had to I would but...  I don't WANT TO.
18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?
Mmm not really?? Not yet?? It'll happen dw
19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?
We both got scared of the firework finale on the 4th and I squeaked and he like held onto me n it was really funny n cute n I was just like “ok this is a thing now great”
Uhh I was doing the typical girl thing where I send screenshots of a conversation to a friend only the friend is his sister so………..i blame her it’s literally all her fault
20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?
Murder someone probably
Or y'know
Something equally as shitty n illegal
21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?
Yea. Both. Napping is cool.
22: Held their hand?
Mmhm! Both but like that's not that weird
23: Kissed their cheek?
Yup. Both.
24: Kissed them on the lips?
Yeah. Both. Actually.
25: Gone down on them/ they've gone down on you?
N O P E
26: Had sex with them?
Nuh-uh.
27: Where on your body have they touched you?
This is…. A weird question I don't like it
28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?
Fire.
Ice prince.
Fire.
HM.
29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?
Ok maybe
30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?
Y e a
31: Does their presence calm you?
Mmhmm.
32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?
Not… until recently but---
33: Are you friends with your crush?
Both of ‘em!
34: Have you always been friends?
Uhh I guess w/ Ice prince yes but not the other one
35: Last thing they messaged you about?
One was abt a dog, other one was abt coming over to hang out
36: Best phone call with them?
Hands down any call when I've been driving so I make my brother talk to them instead those are always fun
37: Last time you hung out with them?
I. I literally started answering this in one of their houses.
38: Ever been drunk together?
I DON'T DRINK
39: Fondest memory of them?
The fireworks show n then probs a few days ago when we just drove around n talked abt stuff
40: Ever made a mistake with them?
Mistake??????????? i don’t make those
41: Regretted not making a move?
Every day of my life but also I have literally kissed both of them so which is the truth
42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?
Nothing ‘cause I'm a big baby
43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?
Nope
44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?
ok first FUCK THIS QUESTION
Ice prince
Do u. Actually wanna date or am I just the most gullible person ever
.......................so how do you feel about polyamory
Do u actually hate the puns or do u secretly enjoy them I need to know.
Space boy
Are you aware that you can literally text me for anything at any time?? Bc u should be
Were you ever afraid to talk to me?
Will you promise to talk to me before doing stupid shit so that at the very least i can tell u that ur an idiot,,, but like. affectionately.
45: Did they wish you Happy Birthday on your birthday?
My birthday is in like another month and I didn't know either of them really last year so they better
46: Have they ever tried to make a move?
?????????
Idk tbh
47: If so why did you miss it?
‘Cause I'm clueless as hell
48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?
Don't think so
49: Are they single?
Lol yeah they're definitely single
50: Where were you when you felt the most for them?
IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING they both just look so cute n peaceful n I get all mushy n wanna protect them but I'm weak as hell so
51: Any specific place you associate with them?
Mmmm not really
52: Films that make you think about them?
Disney films in general
Marvel movies for Ice prince bc NERD
53: Have you picked up a habit because of them?
I don't think so but it's also not unlikely
54: What was your first impression of them?
Ice prince seemed antisocial and idk abt space boy we were like 5 yrs old technically so who knows man
55: Has it altered since then?
LMAO YES
56: Do you remember the first thing you talked about?
Probably musicals bc I can't shut up ever and he was confused
And uhhh no unless u mean like when we started hanging out bc it was candy
57: First time they touched you?
COLD
HE DID IT TO SPITE ME AND IT WAS FUNNY BUT IT WAS SO COLD HOW
And I'm 99% certain I made him high five me before we ever spoke bc I'm a nuisance
58: Have they ever lied to you?
Not that I know of
59: What are their eyes like?
Ohhhhh my GOD
really......clear?? that’s not like. a good way to describe em but u know when u look up at the sky and it’s like. wow there are no clouds!! n then u feel the breeze and it’s kinda cold but it’s not unpleasant it’s?? p nice??? like. that.
cool as FRICK like what the hell i’m actually jealous they’re a rly pretty nice shade n then suddenly it’s!!! different!!!! and it’s like!!!!!!!!!!!!! a surprise a v good surprise which is fitting u just gotta look a lil and he’s full of lil surprises
60: What are you most attracted to about them?
well,, for one they’re both hot as hell, so. that. in general.
if u know anything abt me i’m a sucker for pretty eyes
i also like the “soft but pretends to not be” because i think it’s cute they’re also really good to cuddle with
61: Can you see a future with them?
well i can’t see one without ‘em so something’s gotta give here right?
62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?
i freaking hope not
63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?
why does this thing assume you said yes to the above question that’s kinda rude
64: Could they make you happy?
already do
65: Do you dream about them?
if we’re friends and you haven’t appeared in one of my dreams and done smth weird or random are we actually friends??
side note does daydreaming count LOL
66: What's something that only you two do?
i don’t think i “gently bully” anyone nearly as much as i do ice prince also the only one who actually can cuddle w/ me properly in the summer i’m js
uuuummmm go on random drives in the middle of the night so tht zoe can make out w/ ppl instead of texting our sorry asses
67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?
you. have. no idea.
68: Have they ever given you anything?
food has definitely been exchanged and shared. i’ve stolen sweaters. uh.
69: Have they ever used you?
.........not that i’m aware of??
70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?
nO WHAT TH E
71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?
that’s......a bit much i might be pathetic and somewhat desperate but like i do kinda have a life
72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?
no but i’ve walked into walls because i was tired and thinking abt stuff so that’s a thing i probably have done
73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?
YEAH LMAO I DO THAT ALL THE TIME IN GENERAL i like attention fight me
74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?
y e ah
75: Ever held you so close you could feel their heartbeat?
mmhmm
76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?
[taylor swift’s you belong with me playing in the distance]
77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?
um. no.
78: Do you trust them?
i would trust all of my friends with my life
79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?
i just get?? really happy n i turn into a little kid i swear to god how does he put up with me
n he makes me feel really calm n content n just. good. u know.
80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?
d e a r l o r d i h o p e n o t
81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?
in a heartbeat
82: Will they be in your life a year from now?
they BETTER BE
83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?
i have literally kissed both of them and not because of dares what kind of,,
84: Do they know you have feelings for them?
i’m not exactly,,, subtle
85: Do you have a favourite picture with them?
no but i have favorite pictures of them
86: Your ideal date with them?
hey. concept. a double date. but like. instead of 2 couples it’s just me w/ both of them wow
87: What's their name?
it’s rly obvious that i’m talking about porter and connor fuck you
88: Have you ever been in their room?
i’ve been in connor’s but porter n i mostly chill other places
89: Shared a secret with them?
yeah but it’s not a secret if i tell the internet now is it?
90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?
don’t think so
91: Have they ever disappointed you?
nope!
92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?
uh. idk. porter’s kinda closed off to other people at first i guess that could be problematic. i’m patient w/ that shit so it doesn’t bug me as much idk
general relationships or lack thereof w/ other ppl tbh for both of them i think 
93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?
no
94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?
that’s what i do with p much everyone else but another way to approach this is if u couldn’t be together would u shut them out and the answer is no?? bc that’s kinda shitty
so yes
95: Ever looked for a sign to make a move?
every?? single second of every day but once again i have literally kissed both of them uh
96: What's standing in your way from being with them?
general anxiety
a single conversation
...lmao
97: Would you let them use you for sex?
this implies that,, they don’t care abt me and only themselves n they’re not really?? like that so?? it wouldn’t happen like that??
realistically knowing myself i wanna say no but i probably would which is Not Good i know
98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?
no. like. literally the opposite. wtf
99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?
NEVER
100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?
that porter finds someone who makes him feel warm n fuzzy on the inside even if it’s not me
n for connor that one day everything is stable and everything is ok
anyway hey jared U SUCK
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somanypetals · 7 years
Note
ok ok ok. are you a spuffy fan? i feel like i've seen spuffy on yr blog and if that's not true then please ignore but i've been thinkin recently and i'm very interested in what you think/how you reconcile spike's attempted rape?? bc as a spuffy fan i love them together but i also can't ignore this part of their history in good conscience. was it ooc? was their relationship building to a horrible climax? i'm just very interested in what people think abt that writing decision
omg I’m sorry for taking so long to answer this, I wrote like half an essayand then firefox crashed and I got grumpy about it for a few days lol ;___;
anyway in short: do I ship it? yes. is my relationship with the shipcomplicated? fuck yes. can I reconcile the attempted rape? on a base level, no.on a character level, I am able to move past it but not look past it. on awriting level, I don’t reconcile it at all. was it ooc? yes and no,which is the interesting part
this got really long and I’m hoping that I can remember everything I wassaying before I had to start all over again (rip) but I’m sorry it got so longunder the cut
so I do still ship spuffy, but I have a really complicatedrelationship with it. I’ve shipped it since I was a tween, before I reallyunderstood the unhealthy parts of it (rape scene aside, which I was very clearon), and I’ve come to see those in a new light the past five or so years, butI’m still also someone who is very adamant about people being allowed to shipwhatever the fuck they want in fiction whether it’s unhealthy or not becauseit’s fiction, and at the end of the day I’m shipping something because I findit entertaining or interesting, not because it’s the paradigm of relationshipexamples. in fact most of the time it’s not, because I find most of thoserelationships boring on screen. so like, I do still ship it, but not the way Iused to?
 anyway, was it ooc? in terms of mythology canon I don’tthink it was ooc at all. spike had no soul, he was at a base level evil. I don’t think this excuses theattempted rape at all, nothing excuses it or forgives it, but it does explain abit how the spike who dressed buffy’s hand wounds at the start of the seasonwas the same spike who flipped a switch and attempted to rape her near the endof the season. spike never became “good” when he had no soul, he was like aferal animal on a leash. he learnt to play relatively nice with others andbecame fond of some of his owners, but he still wasn’t cured and if you tookthe leash off at the end of the day he would have bitten them. yes, spike lovedbuffy in his own soulless way, but he still had a literal, animalistic demoninside him (we even see in angel in over the rainbow etc. what the actual demoninside vampires is like at its base level) and no soul to control it—only theintellectual knowledge that some actions would get him in buffy’s good booksand some would get him in buffy’s bad books and so he kept it under controlbecause he wanted her and he also wanted to not be killed by the scooby gang.again: this does not excuse the attempted rape at all. nothing forgives it. butlike, it does explain why buffy and many viewers are able to move past it. Idon’t think that on a mythology canon level it was ooc at all, I think thatpeople just forget that spike was stillevil when he was being nice to buffy or dawn or joyce. I think that’s partof the reason it’s so hard to piece together whether spuffy really could workor be good as a ship, because the show never separates spike with a soul fromspike without a soul the way they did with angel. with angel it’s so clearlytwo different people, but with spike it’s a muddy mess of the same thing and ifyou don’t write spike with a soul differently to how you wrote him withoutone—how are viewers supposed to forgive him for what he did?
 was it ooc on a character level though? that’s a wholedifferent thing because that opens the can of worms of spike being ooc ingeneral. the spike we see in season four onwards is drastically different fromthe spike we see in season two, and I do think part of that is just plain oldcharacter development but I also think that part of that is due to them wantinga slightly different character when he became a regular? spike was almost woobified by his own writing team? I don’t thinkit’s anything like the character assassination of britta for example, and Iwouldn’t even call it character assassination, but I do think that at somepoint late during season three or early season four they decided they wanted aspike who was funnier, a bit more sympathetic, and a bit more worthy of being afan fave. it's less like character assassination and more like characteradaptation? I feel like they saw that james had this excellent comedicpotential and wanted to use that, and I’ve seen that with other characters onshows too. I think they had to bend spike a bit along the way to get the spikethey wanted and who they could have fun with. he went from spike the genuinelychilling villain, to spike the comedic relief, to spike the stalker, to spikethe coping mechanism, to spike the love interest…and it definitely wasn’t astraight line of development. they definitelyhad to bend the character along the way and lose some of what was thereoriginally and add some of what wasn’t there. and like, it’s not necessarily abad thing, like I fuckin love comic relief spike and I can totally understandwhy they might’ve been like “fuck this james guy is good we want more of that”,but I do think that on a character level they ended up with something that wasquite frequently messy. if you’ve taken this villain and woobified himyourself, then even if he is still evilit’s not surprising that people are surprised or find it ooc for him to attemptto rape buffy because they made him a puppy with a temper instead of a wolfwith a playful streak, and then suddenly his fangs come out again. andobviously to a degree that was the point of it, to remind viewers that he wasevil and he wasn’t good and buffy forgot that, the scoobies forgot that, everyoneforgot that, but at the same time if you woobify a character that much doesthat point land? or does it just become ooc? I think a spike in love with buffyand protecting dawn and getting flowers after joyce died could be consideredjust as ooc as a spike who attempted to rape buffy. he became a bit of a messycharacter if you really think about it for too long, and they never separatedhis soulless state from his soul-having state enough to keep track of it
 so anyway, on a character level I’m able to move past itbecause I think at the end of the day…spike didn’t have a soul when it happenedand he was written kind of weirdly over the course of the show but I still likehim. I move past it as a viewer because I wantto move past it, and because I find the spuffy relationship interesting (yet Istill want more/better for buffy always? man, I said it was complicated hahah)
 NOW, FROM A WRITING STANDPOINT
 bullshit bullshit utter fucking bullshit.
 why though? well apart from the reasons I’ve already mentionedabout kind of messy character writing and it being impossible to tell whichparts of spike are ooc or not…………the attempted rape scene was not about buffy,before during or after it happened
 they wrote it as a gateway to spike’s redemption arc. theytraumatised their main character, this beautiful female character and one of mytop favourite characters of all time, to boost a man’s redemption arc, andthat’s just fucking awful and we’ve seen it too many times and buffy doesn’t deserver that bullshit.
 now I don’t know whether there’s a solid answer on whetheror not spike went to that demon at the end of season six to get his soul or toget his chip removed, but it also like…doesn’t matter, lol? I personally alwaysread that scene as he went to get his chip removed so he could kill her, andthen the demon was like lol psych herehave a soul! which I think also makes it easier for me to move past theattempted rape, because then it didn’t literally lead to him choosing to go have a redemption arc andbecome a better man for her, but like a lot of people do read it the secondway. and either way!! it’s a crock of shit!!
 not only did they put in this scene so they could kickstartspike’s redemption, instead of picking some other non-rape or non-violence againstbuffy related plot point to lead to him getting a soul, but then they sort ofmade it all about spike in season seven too?
 they do address bits and pieces of buffy’s trauma afterwardsand how it impacted her, but way way too much of the focus was placed onspike’s guilt and spike’s wanting to fix it and how it impacted spike etc., sonot only did they have buffy almost raped to kickstart a man’s storyline, butthey barely focused on her trauma over the “trauma” of spike and that’sjust…fucking awful. like it makes me so mad and it makes me feel so gross.
 as a writing decision I think it’s sexist, disgusting, lazyand unforgivable and the biggest fault with what is literally my favourite tvshow of all time lol (you wouldn’t think it is from this rant?? but it is?? andI like spike and ship spuffy??? god this is a mess) and I think it was probablythe worst fucking writing decision on all of buffy (and this is the show thatkilled tara, a literal lesbian angel)
 and honestly……the fact that I am aware of and think it’s theworst writing decision possible almost makes it easier to move past from acharacter standpoint? because it was a bad writing decision, it takes some ofthe weight off of spike’s actions for me and I’m aware that it was stupid and grossand it would’ve been better if spike tripped and accidentally fell into a gravethat had a stray soul in it that he inhaled.
 I don’t know if that makes sense, in fact I don’t know ifany of this makes sense…but it’s like: spuffy is interesting. to me they havechemistry, they have narrative and trope appeal (even though it wasn’tfulfilled, or wasn’t fulfilled right), they are two characters I likeindividually, and so…I continue to ship it and enjoy it despite the horriblefucking bad writing decisions that went down in season six. I know that evenwithout the attempted rape season or even without season six it’s still anunhealthy ship and it’s problematic (and I want better for buffy at the end ofthe day), but it is at a base level to me entertaining, and that’s what I likefrom my ships
 god this is almost two thousand words I’m so sorry I have alot of thoughts and I had to rewrite half of this so it’s really, really scattered and confusing butlike…yes I ship it, no I don’t think the attempted rape was a good writingdecision, no I don’t excuse or forgive it but I do move past it
 and in answer to what other people feel about the scene andship….it’s really divided lol, a lot of people feel like I do, a lot of peopleprefer bangel, a lot of people prefer spuffy, a lot of people can’t look pastthe rape at all, a lot of people look past the rape too easily, and a lot of people probably don’t know what to thinkor have no strong opinions lol
 god
this is two thousand words I’m sorry
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meulinthekittytroll · 7 years
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Rant af I'm sorry
Yunno I don’t know what my dads problem is with my boyfriend. He doesn’t like him, at all. And I honestly have no idea why. Maybe it’s because this is the only relationship he’s seen me in? I’m not sure But if my dad could have seen all my past relationships he’d understand why B is probably the only one I could ever want to be with. There were some major people who impacted my life in negative ways and I’m still recovering from them. I will point out the major ones First there was David. He tried to kill me once, and manipulated me and made my self esteem plummet. (Grade 3-7) Yes, I know, 3rd through 7th grade and he tried to KILL you? Are you over exaggerating? No I’m not lol. Then there was Devin. He was the first boy to cheat on me. Which made my self esteem plummet even further. He also was the first boy to treat me… like I wasn’t a person I guess?? I don’t know how to describe that one but it made me feel very inferior. (Grade 6) young I know but shoosh this shit can happen at any age if you let it happen. Then there was Max. We never actually dated, but he is still very important because oh boy I crushed on this boy HARD from 8th to 10th grade. He and I had a thing going on in 8th grade but never quite did anything about it which only made me like him more. Then 9th grade came along and we only got closer but still didn’t quite do anything. (I also had a boyfriend at that time that I’ll get to in JUST a second) Finally 10th grade came along and I FINALLY made a move, only to get shot down, HARD. That was partly my fault I suppose for being too scared to tell him my feelings earlier than that. But still, ouch ouch that hurt me a lot. Jacob, the boyfriend mentioned just a second ago, this was a long distance relationship. He was a couple years older than me and I had never met him in person, I dated him because I was extremely lonely. This lasted almost a year, but not quite. It started out really fun because I could lowkey flirt with Max but still have someone to go home to and text and get the feelings of love that Max didn’t give me, I know I know that’s borderline cheating but hey I was in 9th grade and I was stupid in love with Max and it was just a messy time in my life and Ive obviously learned from it and cheating is disgusting ugh……. ihatemyselfAAAAnyways, as the months rolled by, things slowly went downhill with this Jacob kid. He just was a downer. We both were depressed and got even sadder when we realized we couldn’t meet for a long time blah blah you get the point everything was a mess and he made me extremely unhappy, that was a very toxic relationship and I’m glad nothing ever became of it. I haven’t talked to him in almost a year, I hope he’s doing well. Also in 10th grade I developed this crush on this boy named Anthony and he was a dorky kind of cute, tall and scrawny but still muscly, I dug it. I flat out told him I liked him bc I didn’t want another Max situation and he seemed interested at first until he told one of his friends that doubled as my friend that he wasn’t interested so I obviously found out and got shot down again. Ouch! When that didn’t happen I started talking to a good friend I also met over the internet named Gavin and wowie did this boy make me feel wanted and loved. I had a brief thing with him previously but it never followed through, due to the fact that he was a dickbag and cheated on me and blamed it on some personality disorder where he needed more than one girlfriend to be satisfied *cough* bullshit *cough* but anyways, I tried it with him again the summer going into 11th grade c he was sooooooo sorry and loved me soooo much and wanted to marry me (gag!) anyways, things were good for a while but then he slowly stopped talking to me and cheated again and all this other shit and as my confidence in myself slowly went down the garbage disposal as it had been since like 4th grade, I finally told myself enough is enough and told him I was done with him. I told myself I was done with boys until the right one came along and treated me right. As a junior at a new school with no friends, I assumed it would take until junior year of COLLEGE to even consider boys again (besides possibly sleeping around once I got too tired of being a virgin kek) But yunno, life throws unexpected things at you. I remember the night so clearly. I went to bed finally content with being alone, not having to worry about any boy cheating on me or making me feel bad or putting me down constantly. Then, wouldn’t you know it, the NEXT FUCKIN DAY, this super duper cute boy I had seen a few times around school walked into my first period photography class. And I thought to myself “fuck.” Bc I immediately knew something would happen between us. This boy was he perfect mix of goofy, nerdy, and cute as fuck, with a hint of holy shit you’re SEXY. Exactly my type. Tall, dark, and handsome (a spongebob reference has never been more relatable) ((besides maybe “i’m surrounded my idiots”)) ANNYYYWAYS Me and this kid start talking bc I grew a pussy (not balls bc balls are sensitive and vaginas take a pounding) and gave the kid my Snapchat. That same day I reaaallly wanted a chance to talk to him so I posted a pic on my story of me and my dog havin’ a blast (rip Lily u will be missed ily thank you for being the reason the loml messaged me for the first time) anywho, HE MESSAGED ME FIRST AND WE STARTED TALKING AND SHIT bc he thought my dog was cute af (which she was!!!!) and we kept talking and talking and found we had so much in common and finallyyyy we admitted to each other we liked each other and started dating soon after and I’m spare you all the mushy details of how that came to be. Back to the reason why I started writing this little rant/story in the first place. My dad borderline hates the guy. But what my dad doesn’t understand (which is a lot but these next few sentences are important) Every single relationship I’ve had, was with a guy who has done nothing but lead me on, cheat on me, or abuse me (both physically (which only happened twice thank god) and mentally (which happened SO MUCH OH MY GOD it’s so much harder to catch that than actually getting physically abused) Yet, my current boyfriend…. we’re gonna call him B, bc his name is unique and I don’t want people knowing who I am if this ever gets read by someone who knows me and cares enough to read though all of this. B is the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. He makes me feel important. He makes every day a blessing. When I first moved in with my dad in the beginning of 11th grade, I was a complete shut in. I hardly ever left my room besides to eat and bathe. After I met B, I started opening up and spending time with the family, and I made such amazing friends at school that I would have never talked to if it weren’t for him. B makes everything exciting. Of course we have had our fair share of bumps in the road, but ever healthy relationship does. And yunno what else healthy relationships do? They talked them through and fix the problems!!! B has made it so clear to me that I am worth all of the shit that goes on sometimes, and believe me I can be crazy so that is saying something. And oh boy is he a package deal too. He’s constantly got something going on, he’s quite frankly an idiot sometimes. But hey, he’s my idiot! I’ve never woken up and been happy about being alive since I was like 10, until B came around. B completely flipped my view of the world around. We tell each other this thing all the time because weird kinda opposites when it comes to certain things. He looks like the moon, but is the sun. And I look like the sun, but am the moon. He has dark hair and he’s got olive skin (very Italian looking) looking like a human version of the moon. But he has this optimistic view on life, the personality of the sun. Then there’s me; golden brown hair with fair skin, I look like the sun. But I’m kinda a pessimist, and I also am quite the night owl (he definitely isn’t!) personality of the moon. That might not make sense to you, but it does to us. I’m getting side tracked. The whole fuckin point is, I hadn’t felt true happiness since I was 10 until I met this guy. My dad says we aren’t going to last. My dad barely even lets me see him outside of school once a week, and when he does let me he always gives this disapproving scowl and scoff when I ask to see my boyfriend (who I have been with for well over a year now) once a week. Oh and by the way, he LIVES with his girlfriend who he’s only been dating a few more months than B and I have been. I wonder what he’d feel like if the roles were reversed. Yunno? Like he gets to see his gf every day and sleep next to her ever night, but the moment I want to see B, I get a scowl and a reluctant confirmation that I can see him on the day I asked to see him on. I’m sorry for all this rant and I know it’s probably all over the place but I just really really had to get it out because I don’t know why my dad is so unhappy with me being with a guy who makes me so happy. It’s not like B is a delinquent. He has two jobs (one is a photography business, he does really well with it actually he shoots for weddings and shit he’s an amazing photographer ((he only took the photography class at my school for the credit and to laugh at how low quality everything was at the school and how badly they taught it))) and he’s polite and respectful. My father truly has no reason to not like him, he has no idea how badly I’ve been treated up until I met B. B treats me better than anyone ever has, including my dad. Everyone else in my family loves him! Not nearly as much as I love the son of a bitch tho. I truly grew up from 3rd grade on getting belittled and cheated on and made to feel terrible, and if my dad knew that or understood it, maybe he wouldn’t hate the boy that made me happy to be alive again. Thank u for the ppl who took the time to read this through even tho I doubt anyone will do that bless u ilysm
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