#(Might've even been mine tbh.)

[diospirando]

Reblog/reply with your age, country or whatever you think is relevant and feel comfortable sharing.

Bonus: leave any unusual tips for quitting that worked for you.

#Yes and I'm trying to quit. #I guess. #I don't smoke that much but I'd rather not at all? #I'm also curious about how common cigarettes are in other countries. #There was a post once saying an US american was very surprised with how much people smoked in a european country (can't remember which). #(Might've even been mine tbh.) #I'm 25 and from Portugal. #Lmk if I should add any TWs? #(I'm not sure what's the best way to tag them.) #Data is neat. #tumblr polls #polls #poll

[princeoftheeternalbog]

Would op boys catch you if you fell? Lets find out next time on dragonball- no sorry it just reminded me of that narrator ANYWAYS.

I only did boys because i didnt have much inspi for Nami and Robin so i decided to wait until i do cos I don't wanna half arse stuff.

So anyways I feel like I saw someone do this idea already but it might've been just one character like a law x reader? I'm not sure but I would love to tag them so if you know please tell me ! I will also try to make sure mine is different :p.

Luffy

Depends. Like if he's fighting or eating then probably not but if he thinks you might get hurt then he will 100% attempt to catch you. Key word being attempt. Poor boy probably makes the fall 10x worse, like if you trip on one step you're suddenly falling down the entire flight of stairs with a weight on top of you. He will apologise though so at least there's that.

Zoro

He always catches you. Or prevents the fall in the first place. He tells himself it's so you're not unnecessarily out of commission for a fight but really he's a huge softie. Though he always catches you really ungracefully, llike there’s no princess carrying here, he's holding you upside down by the ankle with one hand fr. He scolds you every time too like- "Why do you never watch where you're going" or "Tie your shoes next time idiot", which you should hear as "I can't stand watching you get hurt". Cutie:(

Sanji

Oh you know he does. He lives for romance and what's more romantic than saving your beloved from certain doom (tripping on a rock). Oh he also does it in the most dramatic way possible, he'd rather throw himself to the ground underneath you then let you hit the floor, he's doing twirls, picking you up with one arm, occasionally will throw you in the air first so he can rearrange what he's holding. Menace tbh, like he's just obsessed with teasing you in any way possible.

Usopp

Another one who tries his best…tries🙁. He's always so dramatic about it too, he literally screams your name like you're in a horror movie and everyone is always like "WHAT'S WRONG?!" and Usopps just "Oh they tripped on a step". He either injures one of you in his attempt to catch you OR you both end up in the most compromising positions just as someone walks past . He goes so red trying to explain the situation while also trying to check if youre okay😭.

Franky

Oh every time and it’s smooth as hell every single time. Says super cheesy lines every time like “OWWWW GUESS YOU FELL FOR ME BABE”, and he gets sparkly eyed every time, he loves romance as a genre and finds it superrrrrrrr(😚) cute when something happens that matches a trope he's read. If he didn't catch you he'd probably panic and constantly apologise but just give him a kiss and he'll forget about it soon enough.

Brook

Catches you every time, really gently and really romantically. Instead of just full on catching you, he'll purposefully slow your momentum to minimise injuries in case his attempt at grabbing you fails because then you'd both fall and he'd rather not. Like if you trip into him then he'll pull you both into a delicate spin type of dancing and you're like huh??? He thinks its a really cute trait to be honest but it also makes him really worried about your safety so he likes to keep one hand on you at all times.

Jinbei

Catches you as often as he can, like he won't sprint across the ship to stop you from falling but as long as you're in his reach you will never hit the ground. And he always catches you really gently like you barely feel the impact so sometimes you won't even notice you've tripped until later when you see the scuff on your shoe or something. He really likes holding your hand to make sure you ‘keep your balance’.

Law

He doesn't want to look soft so he tries to force himself not to catch you for just harmless falls...yeah no that doesn't work. As soon as he sees you losing balance you hear that ever familiar room, shambles and then you're in his arms. If it's later in your relationship then he's a menace, he will use this to tease you, like "Oh. Looks like an angel fell into my arms" with this stupid ass smug smirk. He's just really obsessed with you.

Kidd

Catches you most of the time unless it's gonna be really funny. Also he catches you super awkwardly, like he's so obsessed with you but he never knows where to put his hands because hes not used to giving affection so it's like just in the most ungraceful ways. You are literally being held up by his arm around your thigh or something and you're like what the fuck and he's just stood there 🧍🏻‍♀️.

Killer

Prevents the tripping and catches you if necessary. But if you're too clumsy then he just starts getting huffy and hauls you up into his arms so there's no risk of you falling whatsover...and then you bang your head against the ceiling- He probably feels so bad if you get hurt because of him to be honest, he tries so hard to make you happy yk. Anyways at some point he just starts adding cushion to all the potentially harmful areas on the ship so even if you do fall it doesn't hurt.

#one piece x reader #x reader #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #sanji x reader #usopp x reader #brook x reader #franky x reader #jinbe x reader #jinbei x reader #jimbei x reader #trafalgar law x reader #eustass kid x reader #killer x reader #op fics #op headcannons #monster trio x reader #supernova trio x reader

[savannahsdeath]

heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3

ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??

writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞

it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.

either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.

the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.

that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.

suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"

she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.

you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.

you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.

you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.

what if she sees me the way i see myself?

your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.

"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.

you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.

pretty.

girl.

those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.

"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.

she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.

you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.

"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.

you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.

it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."

she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.

she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.

ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.

as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"

"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."

with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.

a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.

what am i doing?

ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.

but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.

"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.

you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.

you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #reqs open #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x insecure!reader #ellie x insecure!reader #insecure!reader

[hairybirthdayclown]

as someone who has detriment placements

here's the run down of each while i listen to Mitski.

• capricorn Moon is literally my favourite Moon sign not because i have it but because these natives care so deeply about a lot. they just have never been given the outlet to express themselves, so they find alternative ways to do so with how they show that they care & with other emotions. this is why they can be deemed as complex. what i've noticed is that they have a very childlike spirit because they might've skipped out on their childhood. they're prone to watching cartoons or listening to their favourite songs from when they were younger. their emotional development is delayed because they never thought it needed to be due to their mature nature throughout their lives. reaction time is also delayed tbh; these natives could still be affected by the past but choose not to do anything about it until later on in life or until they realise it.

a song i associate these lot with:

• sagittarius Mercury please stop before i piss myself. y'all are so unserious it's so entertaining sometimes. what i've noticed with these natives is that they're very loud. with myself, i normally TEXT LIKE THIS & talk a lot. these people are quite funny either intentional or not. it's not necessarily anything difficult but sometimes i tend to turn small talk into meaningful discussions when i'm bored, same with the other 5 people in my life with this placement. i hateee small talk but i've noticed we're really good at conversating & filling awkward silence. lying for fun, exaggerating stories blahblahblah.

your song:

• scorpio Venus ...one thing that people don't talk about is how others get obsessed with these natives, especially those who've been romantically involved with them. 2 of my friends have this & their exes from years ago are still fixated on them. i don't date or get romantically involved with anyone but A LOT of people & old friends of mine developed a crush on me & even claimed to be in love with me. a guy that i know has this & his personality is equivalent to a stale turd but an abnormal amount of people wanted to date him. people love attention from these natives i think. but all in all, we just want to be loved by one specific person & them being absolutely enamoured by us. the challenging aspect of it all is keeping a stable relationship.

your song:

• cancer Saturn i've noticed are the most caring people ever. they usually care about other peoples wellbeing but from my experience they hate when others ask how they're doing/feeling. they hate being asked questions about themselves in regards to how they feel. in some cases it takes years for them to outwardly act caring & compassionate towards those they truly care about, even themselves sometimes. i think one of their biggest fears is being vulnerable. they're like a stern parent who acts like they're okay so that other people don't worry too much about them. they don't want to seem like a burden. their family life could've been unemotional & lacked affectionate gestures. one of the biggest lessons these lot have to learn how to express their emotions without fear or judgement. you're not wrong for the way you feel.

y'all need a whole playlist:

*(there's nothing wrong with you. i'm not a pro at all. take what resonates)

thanks for reading :)

#Spotify #capricorn moon #scorpio venus #sagittarius mercury #astrology notes #saturn astrology

[p0rk-guts]

waitt but what's different about your ocified velvette... i like her a little but find myself wanting more substance from her in canon tbh

TEEHEE WHAT A GOOD QUESTION I TOTALLY DIDN'T SET PPL UP TO ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay sew me and @ajistorpid were talking and they inspired a good chunk of my ideas so you can blame them for feeding my sick delusions.

Read more just like last time bc I talk too much sorry but there's art in there too oooo you should look u should read my ramblings

As far as I know, Velvette has no canon age at death, cause of death, or death date so based on what we know we just crafted our own headcanons. AJ proposed she might've had parents who ran one of those family vlog channels with her as the face of it, becoming a child influencer under her parents' control. I was thinking she could've been a child model- yk like. dance moms or something. Idk I don't remember what was happening on that show— anyways. Yea

Either way she grew up constantly controled and perfection was her standard. All of her outside thoughts and feelings and interests and opinions were constantly dismissed in favor of what made her more marketable. She never did get that popular in life tho, and her mentors always shamed and blamed her for it.

Idk if this is canon or not, but the idea of the sinners designs reflecting their vices or things they regreted or hated in life is an untapped gold mine to me so that could explain where Velvette's supposed doll and clown themes come from. Became a toy dressed up and paraded around for the entertainment of others + joke never taken seriously. She'd hate that

(As for how that ties into my redesign…. me and AJ were thinking she could be a vampire doll, but I'm not sure IDK I wanna sketch that out and see what it's giving)

In hell she easilly fell back into this warped facsimile of her old life bc it was all she knew. "she feels some form of pseudo control and enjoyment because she has no one pulling her strings now" (<-AJ) SHE'S running things!!! Who's the puppet now!!!!!!

Then THAT had me thinking too because now that I think about it. Why Is she the backbone of the V's?? She's like. An undergrad student in my mind at the MOST and Vox and Val are two men pushing 40 I'm sure. I think a big part of it is the fact that those two are almost complete and utter buffoons who let their emotions cloud their actions constantly, Valentino most obviously but even tho Vox seems more composed like when he's talking Val down from his outburst and when he was talking to the press, we can still see he's a total mess—especially where Alastor is concerned. He lost it so bad during their duet HE SHORTED PENTAGRAM CITY'S POWER.

Now out of all the V's we've seen the least of Velvette (I'd call it what it is but yall gon get real mad at me), The most we really got out of her character was the overlord meeting (and despite her huge ego and unruly behavior she did end up speaking facts), so maybe she Is just as unstable as them in canon but canon is SHIT and this isn't about canon anymore. In my mind she's very much in charge of the back end of their work. Vox is obviously the head of the operation—or at least he seems like it to me—what with the tech company having his name and with him answering the interviews, but I think that's all he is. The figure head. Velvette is the brain behind it all. When Vox proposes new buisness endeavors off the cuff she's the one who goes back and makes sure they're getting handled properly because he doesn't really dig into the backend of how things happen. Vox goes to most of the conferences or whatever (Vel's too busy running her shows and serving cunt after all) but Vel follows up on what was learned.

(also yeah all that makes this very much an au of an au bc it'd take a lot of radical changes for the two of them to be friends I think. It's fun to imagine anyway)

Quoting AJ here bc I'm bad at paraphrasing and they said it well:

"And if we're going to make her sympathetic, (obviously not excusing her enabling a rapist) Val and Vox are grown ass men and she never got to experience the world outside a camera

Velvette is easily malleable with no real relationships!! Some victims tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to their abusers the only exception is that she feels like she has control this time"

THIS this. THIS! Okay uhh vague personal experience w/ abuse cw ig. skip this paragraph if you don't wanna hear it. But It kinda reminds me of my relationship with my parents- NOT THAT I SEE THEM AS TWO DADS AND A DAUGHTER I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THAT NOTION IN A POST PILOT WORLD If future content proves me wrong it proves me wrong but at this moment they're all equals in my mind (…and I hc them as poly BUT WE'LL GET THERE) but In my situation it's like. I hate my parents for the abuse they've caused me, my mom more than my dad bc she's satan incarnate, but there are still things I like about my dad and. Tolerate. About my mother. We still can talk cordialy and spend time together, have fun together even, and I show affection to them, but deep down I know I wanna cut my mom off later and maybe my dad too depending. Additionally my mom is completely Incompatent and pulls none of her weight so despite it all I've been forced to pick up the slack and become half the brains of this family. I do chores she should take care of. Handle money. Make important decisions about our health and safety she doesn't care about.

AAAny ways. This is so my version of Velvette. No I'm not projecting (I am). She pulls a big chunk of the weight around there (some of it being carried by Vox and virtually none by Val). She's very close with the two of them but isn't a fan of everything they do (Cares more for Vox than Val in my mind). Speaking of, she definitely isn't some saint now, she still makes the love potions and is Impassive to both Val and Vox's behavior, but part of that Is her just seeing it as part of the business. Shady practices and exploitation are par for the course in any business to her. She never truly grew out of the harmful mindsets ingrained into her by whoever her enabling caretakers were in life and they're still apparent in hell. (Maybe she even experienced some of the darker sides of exploitation in life but was groomed into thinking it was okay contributing to why she doesn't see Valentino's actions as heinous. Idk. thinking on it)

Circling back to my poly V's idea. Idk it just seems plausible to me. Vox and Val already have their whole thing going on, they all live together, and they all have nicknames for each other (Vox calling her my dear, Val calling her baby doll, Vel calling Vox darling). Ik that could just be their personalities and the pet names don't have to mean anything more but this is MY au and my word is gospel hope this helps. It just makes sense

I could go on and ON about the toxic insanity of the Poly V's in my mind— particularly between Vox and Valentino— but this is NOT their post so maybe next time. As for Velvette, I get the vibe that she'd be intimate with both of them and enjoy it but she's never the one to initiate anything. Sometimes they're all like this 🤞🏾 and others the boys are a complete turn off to her (main example being the difference in her attitude towards Vox in episode 3 vs episode 8). Her tolerance of them flips on a dime depending on how they're acting. She also prefers to be a casually entertained observer to VoxVal more often then not (ex. end of episode 8 imo)

Boys aside. My Velvette is still a social media influencer and she's all about advertising. advertising products (like the love potion), clothing looks, technology... Heck even herself. "You're nobody if you don't wear this or use this or look like this ^ - ^". Projecting on her even further by making her have a love/hate relationship with her profession aka the modeling aspect of it: she's always had a genuine love for fashion and dressing up but the internal pressure for perfection she's placed on herself makes it hard for her. She's very hard on her models and designers bc of this

Couldn't think of a segway for this but also WHAT HAPPENED TO VELVETTE WANTING TO FIGHT THE ANGELS??? The "full assault plan" against the angels??? And then when the fight actually came they were all just lounging around watching it go down like it was afternoon tv????? This isn't even a "we'll get to it in season 2" thing did they honest to god forget? Did that line not mean anything??

Well I didn't forget and it's pissed me off since my first rewatch of that meeting scene. Don't think we don't know how the V's got the angel head, but In my head Velvette was the one who initially proposed the idea for an assault against heaven and her insatiable need to feel respected and feared only spurred this plan on, incredible risk be damned.

It also felt weird to me that Velvette just. Let it go when Carmilla said the meeting was over. Just. "Oh ok! Plan cancelled no more attacking heaven ^ - ^ I'm gonna go scroll for the rest of the show!" Hu h. My au-ified Velvette would definitely fight her on it— if she thought killing angels would change the game and Carmilla held the secrets behind it she would pry! Blow up at her about it until she wasn't getting results and bitterly storming off with as much composure as she could muster. Not wanting to team up with Carmilla but find some way to use her for all she was worth and get her way in the end, use the power and resources the V's had to actually make a plan. Would it have worked without the Morningstars? Eh. Either way I'm sure she could delude herself into thinking they were the most powerful people in hell. Ugh I don't wanna make an au rewrite of the show and I that was never my plan so idk where that'd go but. Yea

ANYWAYS anyways. wow you made it to the end somehow! Here's your treat :3

Context u didn't ask for: Some days Velvette overwhelms herself with her own impossible expectations. Nothing she creates or puts out is good enough. She gets extra anxious about her following; nothing's happened to them, but what if they see the miniscule flaw in her latest clothing that she sees? What if she's no longer perfect? (Even worse in the vamp Velvette redesign of her bc she literally feeds off their attention and admiration)

She'll snap at everyone and disapprove of every look and then hole herself away somewhere where she crashes and is just. So. Tired. But she'll be out of it the next day, ready to keep the conveyor rolling.

#asks #btchwzrd #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel rewrite #velvette #velvette redesign #my art

[planefood]

hi. i might be going crazy but if i'm not and i recall correctly; a couple months back or so you made a post talking about why you chose the city you did for your ocs and why it didn't take place in america. as a non american who fell into the weirdly common thing of making ocs that are american i really resonated with that post, i've been looking around for it and i can't find it. so i wanted to ask if you deleted it? it's 100% fine if you did i get it. i just want to know if its gone or i should keep looking around for it because of infamous tumblr search broken. thanks :-)

Okay this is tough because my tumblr has a tendency to just, hide posts of mine in the archive or tags (grrr) but I also delete posts a lot if I feel like I was overly emotional in them or if its just stupid tagging garbage but I might've deleted it because I wrote that when I was really upset, I know a lot of people related to it though so i'm really sorry to you guys! I might rewrite it more succinctly if I have the energy but the point in that old post still stands I suppose Sometimes I worry I come across as too patriotic or even, god forbid... "kiwiana" kitsch which would be a NIGHTMARE for me even if most of my followers wouldn't notice something like that. I also don't wanna give off the impression that my work is only for a small population or that I "hate americans" if I don't word it well enough. I probably only feel an obligation to write how I do because I fought so hard feeling recognised for my background after I moved here that feeling it happen again when I speak to people outside of NZ stresses me out. I'm glad other people resonated with it! But me getting so emotional over it isn't what I'd call a typical reaction idk. Really its more out of frustration, I feel like I'll never truly feel at home in any part of the world for multiple reasons, somewhere where I can feel comfortable relating to people just because we're from the same area but that's not really true. I was an outsider in Japan and I felt like an outsider living here. Moving to a bigger city didn't provide me much comfort as I still feel like I'm not apart of the "in group". I know people who haven't even moved countries like me will probably feel this (esp if you follow me cause no regular person would follow me tbh) thats the frustration I try to capture with my writing that I hope more people to can attach to than just "this is Aotearoa bitch!!!!!!!!!". I feel love and also a lot of rage for this country. My stories are less of a love letter for it and just auto biographical, some parts are cozy and nice but a lot is pretty rough and stressful. There's still the kid in me screaming "I WANT TO GO HOME!" all the time while I live here, back then "home" would've just been back in Japan but now I don't really know what that "home" is. I find solice in my characters trying to figure that out too

#ask #my stories rarely feel like they capture authentic nz to me sometimes but idek what that is really #I was gonna go on a rant about how much I hated this country growing up because of how ppl treated me + everything being different #but that can be for another day

[theoldworldsrunnerup]

dear mootie I read your post and I'm sorry you feel that way :'( I don't really care that much what people will think about me for posting soichello but I see where you're coming from and it sucks, it's not right. Fandom should be the place ppl go to have fun not get bullied or bully others. I've also sort of ridiculed the ship (& myself for enjoying it) at times but only jokingly.. like, that's lowkey part of the package for me, and I thought it was the same for other shippers too. I never considered it might've influenced others negatively, and if that's the case I wanted to apologize. I hope this situation gets better for you, honestly i don't see how anyone could be mad at you, deprecation or otherwise.. liking stuff, even niche ass things, is not the problem, the 'climate' on the internet is.

Anyway, just know that if u want I have soichello art and bad memes ready send and I'm down to talk abt those two absolutely whenever ok? Ofc u don't have to answer this but lmk c: (Also sorry I'm like. physically unable to send asks off anon💀 hope you don't hate me💀💀)

Omg hi um. I’m not quite sure how to respond to this, but first of all: thank you. I actually really appreciate this. Like I don’t think I could put into words how much I appreciate this.

I feel like I should say that I do make fun of practically every pairing I ship. It, too, is apart of the package for me like it is for you. I guess the problem with what I tend to do with soichello is kind of like. Clinging onto the irony of it/ridiculing it to the point where I actually feel mean. I’ve never taken anyone else making fun of the pairing to heart (because, taking everything about them in canon into consideration, it is objectively a little ridiculous), but I suppose I’m so aware of the fact that I have the potential to make others feel negatively that I take what I say to heart, and feel so much more horrible (And in the end I kind of attempt to balance the deprecation so that I negatively affect as little people as possible. I know you can’t please everyone but goddamn do I try 😭😭). But anyways I doubt you’ve negatively impacted anybody, reflecting on the post a day later I think this was just me being paranoid tbh.

It’s been super hard for me to unlearn the shame I have surrounding certain interests of mine, but seeing other people enjoy them makes it so much easier.

PLEASE feel free to send me art/memes/anything soichello related literally whenever. I should mention that I am absolutely AWFUL in one on one conversations and am like. Almost physically incapable of initiating conversations myself (this also ties into my fear of being perceived negatively lol). But if it means I get to talk about them I will try so very hard.

(Also don’t worry about the anon thing, I totally get it!! I usually default to anon myself (although it depends on what the ask is/why I’m sending it), and I definitely don’t hate you.)

#ask

[majorbaby]

Friend, "ask me about ot3s I'll never go away"? I'm asking about ot3s 👀

hi! lol we would literally be here all day if i listed every single ot3 of mine and i'm sure there's plenty that wouldn't interest you if they're from fandoms you don't follow, but i'm gonna speak generally with a few examples: ot3s are great because I'm a multishipper and I love threesomes (and the occasional foursome/moresome) lol what can I say. Unless something is a squick for me I can usually find some way to make it square in my head. And I like gay stuff, so an MF is usually further enhanced for me by making it MFF or MMF (although i also like MMM and FFF). Sometimes there's also the appeal of just... weird or inconvenient sex. It's funny, it's experimental, where else can you get this kind of content. i love the vibe between Inu/Kag/Miroku in the early days of Inuyasha before Sango is introduced. i like Miro/Sango too but like, those three clowns might've hooked up pre-Sango days. and i often genuinely can't choose between one ship and another, or i don't want to write out a ship so that i can include another one. i like Ed/Ling from fma but i also love Winry and it's not out of this world to me that she'd be down for a threesome lol. (Actually the problem would be Ed... but I think he could be convinced.) For the other het ships i listed... Bat/Wonder Woman... like why not complete the trifecta and have SuperWonderBat? They are iconic for a reason and they're fun together. Actually this just works really well in general for American comics that have been so long-running each character has a multitude of possible ships, and probably some homoerotic tension with someone at some point? Other times i'm literally not interested unless it's an ot3, like something is missing without it? Tbh this tends to happen with underdeveloped het ships, when there's a rival/bff/villain character right there with whom the hero has plenty of development, but the creator also hasn't totally neglected the canon love interest (usually a female character who has been somewhat sidelined lol). That's your Sasu/Naru/Saku (Naruto), Inu/Kag/Koga (they teased Kag/Koga and I was kinda into it, but I need Inuyasha to also be there for me to get on board) and most of the canonical ships from the Final Fantasy canon. In general, if I'm supposed to be into a couple for ~aesthetic reasons~ or there is a ton of ship tease but no canonical confirmation, as with many rpgs of the 90s and 2000s, then I'm piling on all the aesthetics that appealed to me. If I'm feeling in the mood for something a bit more fucked up, fraught and ultimately doomed threesome is great: Link/Zelda/Ganondorf and Link/Midna/Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Anakin/Obi-Wan/Padme (Star Wars), Jean/Scott/Logan (X-Men) and Shinji/Kaworu/Asuka... even throw Rei in there, whatever (NGE). Finally there are ships for whom it just Makes Sense. Finn/Rey/Poe (Star Wars), Haruka/Michiru/Setsuna (Sailor Moon), Watanuki/Doumeki/Himawari (xxxHolic) just to name a few. Or ships featuring two people who are super horny and flirty in general that I can easily see adding a third (or fourth or many), which describes almost all the horny situations I'm submitting my main fandom (MASH) darlings to inside my brain and sometimes on paper. ftr there are ships for whom I think it truly doesn't work and if it's me saying that then trust me, I've tried. there's a good amount of ships I enjoy without it too, but i think i'm probably in the minority in that whenever i get into a fandom i'm holding three or more swatches up at time trying to figure out what can work.

#ahem i also just enjoy a good spitroast ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #more hands / mouths / various other body parts means more things to grab #it can be that much more work to write it into a fic and i genuinely think that's part of why it isn't more common #but i'm doing my part #replies #long post

[softxsuki]

Hello dear! By a stroke of luck I saw you were doing matchups and I'd love to join <33 I'd like a matchup for tokyo revengers please, if that's okay!!

My pronouns are She/Her and my gender preference is male and I'd like it to be romantic please <3.

For some positive personality traits: I'm overall very friendly and easy to approach. I'm very patient and slow to anger. I'm very empathetic and sympathetic, I have a very easy time putting myself in others' shoes and rarely judge others. I'm a good listener and very attentive to others' needs. I tend to remember little things about the people I love and if I'm passionate about something I will always put my 110% in.

For some negative traits: I have a bad habit of being a people pleaser and have an overall hard time saying no unless I'm asked something blatantly dangerous. I'm a big daydreamer so I often have my head in the clouds which can make me less attentive to my surroundings and may lead the to zone out every now and then. I'm a BIG procrastinator and when I don't really like something I'll leave it until the very last moment to do. And lastly I tend to beat around the bush when I have to say something negative to someone or about someone to them or at least take a while to at least get to it because I try to sugarcoat it as much as possible. So... Basically not very straightforward.

Zodiac signs:

Sun: Taurus Moon: Pisces Rising: Cancer Venus: Pisces

Mbti and enneagram: INFP-T 9w1

Love languages: All of them tbh but primarily Words of affirmation and Physical touch.

What I value in a relationship:

Truly I appreciate honesty and communication. In relationships I'm quite good at being both of those with a partner fortunately and I appreciate it if they do the same. I'm a very big romantic and they don't necessarily have to be too but I like it when they don't mind gestures, unless it something that genuinely makes them uncomfortable of course. I like it when my partner is thoughtful and I like at least a bit of patience.

My hobbies include:

-Ballet

-Cooking/Baking

-Playing Piano and Bass guitar

-Writing (poetry/songs/books)

-Reading

-Listening to music

-Pottery (just started though 😅)

For other details:

I like animals, I like to go on unnecessarily long walks, kind of embarrassing but sometimes when I'm nervous to go somewhere for whatever reason I have this little plushie I take with me in my bag, I collect pink snack packages?? It might've not been delicious but at least the packaging is cute 😪, another unsung love language of mine is just feeding people? It ties in with my hobby for sure but with me you'll never go hungry, I like dressing up, my favorite season is winter, I'm very affectionate both verbally and physically and will tone it down depending on the person, I can be very talkative with the right person, sometimes when I laugh too hard I snork a little :/, I'm busy getting a degree in pedagogy, even though I dance ballet I'm a terrible dancer in all other aspects and... That's all I can think of at the moment.

For my ideal type:

I've thought about it but I'm not very picky. I just like people who like me :D

The scenario I'd like to see with them:

I'd like to see what they do for a date please!!

I hope that was enough 😩 tysm dear, I hope you have a great day <3

-🩰

1000 Follower Event Matchup #1

Want to participate in this event? You can figure out how to do so in this post

Note: Welcome to my blog and thank you so much for sending in a matchup request! You were the first one! :D I'm not sure if you're a manga reader or not, because this character talked about more in the manga, but hopefully you know him! I hope you like that I paired you with him too. It literally took me hours to narrow it down NFHEKABF, but this one is definitely perfect for you (he's one of my favs that I learned to love after starting the manga SO CONGRATS, keep him happy :( )

I match you with…HAKKAI SHIBA!

runner-ups were sanzu and kakucho, but I decided on hakkai for the reasons I'm about to list heh

To start off with the technical stuff, Hakkai is an INFP, just like you, and his enneagram is 9w1, just like yours as well so you two would definitely have a lot in common and that would bring you both closer together! Two peas in one pod, we love to see it. He's also a Virgo which based on the site I used, they are compatible with Taurus'. :3

Onto the more personable details, Hakkai would absolutely love how friendly and approachable you are, he’s pretty shy with women, so you being the way you are made it that much easier for him to approach you when you two first met. He’d fondly watch as you get lost in your head, daydreaming away. For the moments when you can’t say no to people, he’d step in and draw the line for you. No one will walk over you with him around, or take advantage of your kindness. He’s super protective over you and watches over you whenever you guys go anywhere together. He does look pretty intimidating, so that helps in keeping some negative or unwanted attention away from you. His main goal is to keep you safe and happy!

Get ready to have your love language filled, he’s very touchy as soon as the early, awkward stage of your relationship is over. ALWAYS has to be holding your hand or touching you in some way–whether you’re walking beside him or sitting next to him at a Toman meeting. He’ll also always tell you how much he loves you and how beautiful you are (while blushing because even though he’s been with you for so long, that awkwardness still pops through every now and then). TRULY a perfect match. I SHIP IT. AND ARE U KIDDING ME?? BALLET??? HE would make it his mission to watch you practice with hearts in his eyes and you better believe he’s attending all of your recitals (if you have any, if not, he's perfectly fine supporting you in private). 

He would find a way to incorporate himself into your hobbies, by joining in on some like reading or cooking. Would definitely be willing to have a sneak taste if you want to feed him, and I think he’d enjoy feeding you as well. JUST VERY CUTE ROMANTIC THINGS WITH HIM OKAY. I'M SO JELLY WRITING THIS BC HE’S ONE OF MY FAVS BUT WOW HE WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH. He really enjoys watching you do the things you love like writing and playing instruments. Hakkai loves the little snort that sometimes leaks through when you laugh–it gets him blushing like mad bc you’re just so adorable to him and can’t believe he’s lucky enough to be with you. Invite me to your wedding please :(

Date Night with Hakkai:

First of all, as soon as I saw pottery on your list of hobbies, this idea instantly came into my head

BUT YES HAKKAI WOULD TAKE YOU ON A POTTERY DATE EEEE SO ROMANTIC

He knows you’re still learning pottery and he figured this would be a perfect time for him to hop in on one of your hobbies–he’s excited to learn!

He takes you to this quaint local studio that allows people to come in and do their own pottery for a small fee

At first he’s just watching you do your own thing; collecting the clay, throwing it on the wheel, and working your wet hands into the clay, shaping it to perfection

He tries to follow along, but you’ll probably have to give him a hand, guiding his hands the right way (little “ghost” pottery scene action here NFHEKAFEKJ)

You both have a great time, especially Hakkai, but he’s mostly happy about seeing you enjoy yourself

He could honestly have fun doing anything at all so long as he gets to spend time with you

Of course once your creations are made and ready to be thrown in the kiln, you leave and make an appointment to come back to pick your ceramic pieces up another day

After your pottery date, he walks hand in hand with you to a nearby restaurant where your wonderful date continues

10/10 would recommend, now I wanna make pottery again ahhhhhh

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 9/18/2022

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #hakkai x reader #hakkai shiba #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev x y/n #hakkai x you #hakkai x y/n #hakkai fluff #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers matchup

[ofmermaidstories]

I recently read your Something (just like this) fic and oh my god IT'S SO GOOD!! I love how you wrote Deku, Sero and Mineta. He feels like his pervert self, but more mature and fleshed out?! I even thought about his dumbass 'offer' for a second LIKE WHAT, HE KINDA CHARISMATIC...'ok Deku boy I'm switching sides' . You made him so tolerable I even looked forward to reading more of him in the latest chapter, and I audibly shrieked for real, worrying about MINETAS safety at one point like- … You made me look forward to read about this grape-of-a-man…. Your writing skills got me flabbergasted fr.

If you could answer, do you have any future projects you're thinking of writing in mind? Like any characters you'd like to write about as well? Whatever you may be working on in the future it'll be a delight to read! (The question might've been answered but I'm not too familiar with navigating tumblr Oop I apologize!).

The way you structure your sentances is top tier and so easy to understand and follow for someone who's first language isn't english, like mee lmao. Also happy to see an author who take their time on writing and updating as they self seem fit!!! So many authors get burnt out and tired of writing because they ‘must’ update regularly.

could you imagine if like, Mineta had accompanied Reader back to the suite and then stayed to be drinking buddies on the balcony???? omg…. and then like, they’re passing the bottle of Champange that like, Mineta lifted for them and their eyes meet…. dark and glittery….. I like to think they wouldn’t make out, simply because Mineta is for the Bros and not the Hos, but like…. you know, the tension would’ve been there, and then like, naturally that’s the moment that BAM, DEKU!

don’t mind me im just cackling to myself imagining it. actually, Anon, you’ve reminded me that i’ve been meaning to write a something!mineta one-shot for @vivianvampyric!! we’re a rock-star in it, and if i can find a way to shoehorn like, a theme of repeating damaging patterns/behaviours then i absolutely will. timeline wise it’ll have to happen after something ends sooo… hmm. 🧐 will have to plot it. but it’s on my list of future projects!! don’t apologise for not being able to navigate around this blog/tumblr—i think tumblr is quite a hard site to do anything more than like, click through blogs!! especially when you come to blogs like mine that like, just have no links LOL. i should probably fix that…. i’ve just been lazy. 😔🥺 and tbh i hate any kind of coding, no matter how minimal!!!! i had to get tumblr support to step in and help me fix my links in the blurb/header thing. 😔😔

but omg, please, you have no idea how much your ask delighted me!!!!!! apart from the fics i’ve listed in the above link (which i consider “high priority”), there’s a couple of other fic ideas floating around in my head. Like, there’s a second cowboy idea I’d like to write, but i keep calling it my not-a-fic because a) i don’t want to write the ending (lmao) and b) i’m not even sure i’ll post it when im done. 🧐 i can’t make up my mind, which means i’ve been slow with working on it (and only doing it for fun!).

Thank-you, though. 🥺 You’re very kind for coming by and saying hello—and for saying such nice things. 🥺🌷🌾🍊💜🌴 I’ve been working on the fifth chapter for something so i will make it a point to work faster—and to try and make it just as fun to read. 🥹📖🌷

#ofmermaidstories-asks #i hope you’re having a good week Anon 🥺💕📖 #something just like this - fic #the library queue: merms tries to write

[teawiththegods]

I think Apollo might have woke me up this morning?

I'm just starting out with Hellenic Polytheism and don't really understand signs or know how to communicate with the gods just yet, but this felt like it might've been something so I guess I just wanted to share!

I had a strange dream that I barely remember. I remember there being a song that felt very familiar, like I've heard it before. It was a male voice and I (thought I) remember(ed) the last line, but barely anything else and I'm having a really hard time finding it. (I'm lowkey wondering if it's even a real song.)

After the song ended, I remember seeing a small animal(?) or something looking at me. I didn't get a good look at it, because when I called out to it, it jumped towards me, waking me up. I felt something on my neck when I woke up, but there was nothing there.

What I found really interesting, is that I woke up just in time for the sun rise! (Unfortunately, I am not able to see it very well from where I live, but I still tried to watch as best I could!) I've been meaning to catch the sun rise for a while but have been on a bad sleep schedule and unable to be awake for it. Until today!

Ooooo how wonderful! Tbh with you this absolutely does sound like Apollo to me. A lot of what you shared is similar to my own experiences with him especially the whole small animal waking you up. Mine is a little different because the animal in question is not one found in my dreams but found in my waking life

But Apollo is notorious for getting this little rascal to wake me up!

It’s lovely tho that you were able to get up to see the sunrise! Must have been a great start to your day!

Thank you so much for sharing, love! 💖

[sege-h]

👁️ Storm and Sharp, 🧠 Storm and Rosu, 🐉 Syl, 🌱 Peanut, 🌍 Kalin, 🧁 Storm

👁️ - How do other people perceive this oc? How close do their first assumptions come to the truth?

Storm

It can depend on the person tbh. Like how perceptive are they to bullshit?

Even that might not help much-- they may be able to parse that Storm isn't who he seems to be, but then- who IS he?

Storm's someone that has several acts he puts on depending on what he wants others to assume about him. Someone young and clueless, a suspicious guy that might have ties to criminal activities, someone that won't be very good in a fight, someone antagonistic...

The one he has most often is that of a happy aimless idiot that just wants to help out-- of those four things only one thing is true, he does just want to help out. Unless he decides to switch that aspect out and act antagonistic instead.

All that said, people's first (and second, and third...) assumptions about Storm miss the truth by a long shot 99% of the time. He's a skilled fighter that's pretty much taught himself how to be a robotics engineer. He'd seen more suffering than he should've by the time he was 20, and he's 35 now. He prefers not to kill, even with opponents that'd kill him with no hesitation. And he is full of guilt and issues.

Sharp

Sharp does want to be seen as someone dangerous, someone you should stay away from or he might literally bite you. And to some people, he might come off that way

But to people that have seen others with the same defense strategy as him, or that might've been or are the same way? It won't fool them. They'd know that at some point not too long ago he was just a scared kid that started protecting himself the only way he knew how- by building walls around his real emotions, and being loud and angry

🧠 - What is their stress response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn?

Storm

Fight. There's very rare cases where the source of the stress might make him freeze or run- freeze more often than run because there's usually other people around and he doesn't want to abandon them if there's danger afoot.

Rosu

Fight, but only because that's what he'd been taught to do his whole life. Once he was all on his own for the first time, his stress response was flight. The idea of being hurt or even dying to someone was worse once it had already almost happened, and the idea of fighting at all became more frightening with no one to back him up.

Though if the source of the stress is @hesfromsomewhere's Orchid, then it becomes fawn. It's also largely the fight of the way he was raised-- his own needs shouldn't matter if they seem to be slowing down whoever he's with

🐉 - Very serious question… are they more like a dragon, or a unicorn?

Listen here-- SHDGHSHDHSHD

Syl is literally a unicorn. But if asked about it, they'd joke that they're more like a dragon, given that he's "done the stereotypical fairytale dragon thing before and destroyed a village"

🌱 - Share one of this oc’s early memories.

They're very short and simple ones tbh, but the ones that come to mind are either him lying in a field, or just being even more of a tiny bnyuu and riding on a tractor while he sits in his mom's lap

🌍 - What are this oc’s religious views?

This is a tough one because Kalin's views are more spiritual than religious. Does he believe in gods? Yes! It's kind of hard not to in a world like Sonic's. Like what are you gonna do, see the world crack like an egg with a giant Thing like Dark Gaia come out of it and go 'must've been the wind'?

But he also isn't strictly devoted to any of them. He believes there's other gods and spirits looking over the world too, maybe even ones whose names have been lost to time but they're still around

🧁 - When is their birthday? How do they celebrate it, if at all?

He's the only character whose birthday I know, and that's because he shares it with mine HSGDHS

17th of June-- its a remnant from long ago when he was still my sona. But also I'm bad with remembering dates, and it's hard to forget if it's my own, so I kept it even past that.

He doesn't do much on that day, he just spends time with friends-- so it's not very different from other days. The only thing that's a Must is that he gets to have cake

#Blog games #Storm #Sharp #Rosu #Sylvan #Peanut #Kalin #Anon #THANK UUUU

[1-deadgirlwalking-1]

3/31/2024

i do not remember a ton tbh, i keep forgetting to write stuff down and now i don't remember most of what i've done the past several days. haha.

anyway what i do remember is i've been doing the dishes a lot, like not just putting them away after they're clean, i've been putting dirty dishes in the washer without freaking out from the grossness. and i even swept a few times so, i'm getting slightly less incompetent every day!

we celebrated easter (not on the actual day of easter but the day before) which i didn't know we were doing, my mom got everyone a bunch of personalized gifts in a little basket. i immediately ran off to my room after we opened everything, which she didn't get upset about or object to at all, and then when i got to my room i cried bcus it was so sweet.

like she got me my favorite sweet (pocky) bcus i said i loved it but i could never find it in the stores, and she got me new inside slippers because i accidentally got my old ones dirty and haven't cleaned them yet, AND she got them in pink and fluffy bcus she knows i love the color pink and fluffy stuff. she got me a little notebook with sparkly markers (i'm now using it as a notebook for my japanese learning) bcus she knows i like writing, and she got me two face masks for us to do together. she also got me some hair ties and candies. and i think she might've gotten me the hair ties because i lost one of mine recently and was asking my dad if he had seen it while she was in the room. it was very unexpected and sweet.

and then a day later she asked me if i liked them and was acting very nonchalant and normal about it, like "oh papa didn't let me talk about gifts because your little cousin still doesn't know the easter bunny isn't real, i was just at the store and got you stuff i thought you'd like"?? WAAAHH?????

then yesterday the new hunger game movie became available to stream so my mom came in my room to suggest we watch it together after chores, i swept most of the kitchen and we did face masks. was very fun. but whenever i moved too fast like when laying down my entire vision would loop over and move around and id get super dizzy and disoriented. i looked it up and it's called vertigo, i didn't actually know what vertigo was until that very moment.

ALSO in the middle of the movie i had to walk the dog and we walked around for like ten minutes after my mom insisted the dog would pee as soon as we went out and then she came out and was like "she STILL hasn't peed?" and she did not i SWEAR, she did not pee the entire time she just walked around and repeatedly kept trying to eat my leg off and almost pulled down my pants one time which was insane. anyway in this conversation i found out the dog always pees almost immediately when my parents walk her but when she's out with me i have to walk around the entire house 2 or more times and be out with her for like 20 minutes before she pees. WHY???

today my mom made a bunch of food i didn't eat because i forgot to leave my room at a normal time. then by time i went to the kitchen all the food was gone, i assume there's some left overs in the fridge so i'll eat those tomorrow.

when i left to go get a snack earlier my family was watching "the beekeeper" i saw an ad for it a while back, and then a few minutes later someone else sent it in the family groupchat because my dad is a beekeeper. very funny to us. apparently it's literally just a movie about a beekeeper who beats up and kills a ton of bad guys which is also hilarious to me.

but i didn't do anything today, i watched youtube videos. a bunch of really long ones. i fell asleep a few times while watching one and kept having to rewind when i woke up. also my right ear keeps swelling up on the inside EVERY TIME I LAY DOWN FOR MORE THAN LIKE 30 MINUTES!!! and today inside my left ear i swear i could hear a buzzing sound like a cicada INSIDE my ear and it didn't go away for like 10 minutes i thought there was something in my ear or i was hallucinating and it was driving me crazy. looked it up and it's probably tinnitus. i didn't know tinnitus could sound like so many things i thought it was only ringing.

i'm going to ask my mom mom to take me to a doctor about my ears because when i looked up my symptoms online everyone on every post was like, "GO TO THE DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY OR IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE UNTIL YOU EVENTUALLY LOSE YOUR HEARING." and i think that checks out cause it has only gotten worse with time and one lady said vertigo was a symptom of her ear problems, and that because of them she had to get a giant needle and draining tube inside her ear that was super painful. and i don't want that.

today also i had a dream and when i looked in the mirror i had SUPER cool makeup on and at that exact moment i realized i was dreaming. i stared really hard at the makeup to try and remember what it looked, and instinctively pulled out my phone to take a picture, then i remembered i was dreaming and was like "i wish you could take photos in dreams and they show up in the real world, i'm gonna forget it."

and that's literally all i remember from my dream last night, i forgot all of my dream for most of the day until my friend said something that reminded me of that one part, and all because of the fact i intentionally tried to remember it. but even then i don't remember exactly what the makeup looked like. i know that it was trad goth with a white base and what the eyeliner + eyebrows looked like, and that's basically it. if i tried to recreate it irl i'm sure get it pretty close.

anyway i still have 15 late assignments to do and obviously haven't studied at all. sigh.

that's my life at the moment, buh byeeee.

#blog #what tags should i even use

[rubberduckyrye]

Regardless, I should like...... create more things, get back into the habit of creating things. Doodles, one shots, things like that. I think 2020-present have thoroughly murdered my energy levels though so Idk how to like.... actually do anything for fun anymore.

--Though on that note, some followers of mine who've been here a while would probably know that like, I've had back pain for a long time, right? Well, disability might've failed me (for now) but my doctors want to get an MRI for me to see if they cant like, fix it.

Which good news: if they can, I'll be able to actually like, do stuff without it hurting!!! Like walk down the block! I miss being able to walk a decent ways!!! I'll be able to do chores and help with things around the house!!!! Exercise!!!!

Bad news: If I don't have a physical disability I know that Disability will be even harder to get on and my mental shit is still absurd. Probably even worse now, I'm like 1000% sure I have agoraphobia/can't leave the house by myself without fearing for my life. Thanks, world, for being real shitty and traumatizing these past few years!!! And tbh even longer because yeah.

So yeah we'll see I guess.

[firefly-moon]

My Darling, You’re Starlight.

Kayea x F!reader

CW: Pallad, mentions of alcohol, eating, pretty much fluff, maybe OOC kayea(he’s a lot lovesick)? Old repost from an old Wattpad story of mine that I edited. Friends to implied lovers. Reader is shorter than Kaeya but only a little bit. Really cheesy tbh.

My requests are open btw. So stop by and I’ll write a fic for ya

Starlight, by definition, is the light that comes from the stars. But to a certain Calvary Captain, his definition of starlight was you.

With an inward sigh, you trudged up to Katherine at the adventurers guild. It had been a long day and commissions were eating at you. Looking up at the moon, you could tell it was late. Possibly around 21:00. Your brand new pocket watch had broke during an encounter with a stray hilichurl.

"Ad Astra Abyssosque!" She greeted politely. You gave a small hum in return, having little energy to reply with words. You had wondered before on how she had stayed up this late with little -to probably no- sleep. The commissions that were given today were completely terrible. The guild gave you an annoying time challenge, had to take out two hilichurl camps, AND then you had to go help that idiot Pallad which left you in an even sourer mood. Collecting your extra rewards you made your way to your lovely home.

All you wanted was a nice hot bath to relax your muscles and to flop down in your bed and do absolutely nothing, and to not think about that idiot who just had to be in the way. All the time. He had no need to do whatever he did. You couldn’t even remember.

"Well there's my favorite adventurer!" Groaning, you turned to the annoyingly familiar voice. Kaeya jogged up to you waving. Your annoyance alone grew. You didn't want to deal with him at the moment. His smirk slowly grew into a grin after each step. You had practically forgot about Pallad upon seeing the dark bluenette.

"Ew." You deadpanned staring at him and turned on your hill to continue your rewarding trip home.

"My! You are so rude to me!" He held his fist over his chest in mock pain. You groaned again. No doubt this time he wanted to drag you along to the tavern just so you can drag HIM back to his living quarters because he was so drunk. If he wasn’t already drunk in the first place.

"What do you want from me? I'm really tired," it came out ruder than you intended but at this point you didn't care. Your bed was calling you. The commissions had left you in a crappy mood. Kaeya's and Venti's alcoholism was just gonna make it worse.

"Aww is the baby bird all wore out from her requests?" He chuckled and you kept to continue to walk back to your house. You rolled your eyes.

"Actually yes. And I would kindly like it if you flew away from this 'baby bird'." You shoved your hands up in the air in exasperation when he kept following you. You made you fingers do a 'shoo shoo' after he kept up with you. He just laughed at you.

"But.. I don't wanna leave my little birdy alone in her coop!" He smirked at the irritation on your face, the puns are getting worse already. He loves to tease you, as if it were a game. It used to make you flustered but at this point you were used to it and he used to same names over and over again. These puns were getting terrible.

"Look, Captain Alberich.. I'm not in the mood. Why don't you go flirt somewhere else and go screw yourself." Using his captain title was something you only said if you were upset, and well. It was honestly his fault for not reading the mood.

In your eyes, though it might've been the sleep deprivation or the annoyance, Kaeya looked genuinely hurt. You did feel kinda guilty but you were too tired to care. His one eye that was seen held a pained look in it, but it didn't last long, and he was back to his natural, flirty, hot self in a blink.

"How 'bout I walk you home instead? You look awfully tired.“ he grinned. This was the perfect! Maybe he could finally talk to you about the subject that's been bothering him for quite a while now.

"Whatever helps you sleep better at night." You grumbled your answer, but deep inside you really didn't mind at all. I mean Kaeya in your house? Uh, yes please.

"Alright!" He followed behind you again, more quiet this time, his usual puns and commentary seemingly smaller tonight. It kinda irked you.

"You have something on your mind, don't you?" It was a random question and it came out the blue to him. You yawned when he didn’t answer immediately.

"Aww~" he cooed. "Is the little adventurer worried about poor ol' me?" This caught you off guard. It was a genuine question for him, but to you? Completely shocked, but understandable. He can’t help he has trust issues.

"Huh? What do you mean?" You looked over to him as he fell into pace with you. His eyes were turned ahead to avoid your face. "Kaeya look at me," when he wouldn't you stopped him, grabbed his arms and spun him around. You didn't want your cover to be blown so you held your tounge. You weren't ready to tell him the truth yet…

"I said look at me not keep walking. And of course I would worry for you! We're friends and I also worry about you because you're an idiot." The moon shone brilliantly on you face, your eyes swam with the stars. Like gems they sparkles beyond all belief, like wonderful bright gemstones. “I’m to tired for your lack of responses my guy.”

"Whoa.." was all he could muster out. You being shorter than him made him look down on you, but he didn't cover up the moon's rays. When he saw you he thought of starlight, and he felt so at peace. Forgetting you were still holding onto him, you dropped your hands from his arms and gave him a questioning look.  It didn't make you uncomfortable with him looking at you like that, but it confused you on how it wouldn't answer your question.

"Look.. Kaeya, I'm exhausted and would like a hot bath ok? We are almost to my house so if something is bothering you tell me." You started walking again and he caught back up to you. It was becoming a process.

"Hey.. is it ok if I stay for a little while after you get your bath? If you don't mind of course.." he asked you and a smile -that wonderful smile- is what you responded with, even if it was kinda forced and full of sleep. (One he almost tripped over because he was staring.)

"There's the oh so kind gentleman I know. Of course you can. Unless you have other motives hm~,” you laughed at his blank face.

Finally reaching your place you unlocked it. "I will start the fire and get something cooking so you can eat ok? Then I'll go take me a bath." You took off your brown boots and left them by the door, Kaeya following behind you still. He hummed like he was thinking of something.

"Why don't I cook?" You turned,once again shocked. What’s next?

"You can cook? Oh wow, I only thought you were good with weapons and flirting. And those idiotic puns.. huh!” You said in mock sarcasm but also surprise, sighing. The drowsiness was trying to win you over. Mostly your sentence was mumbled.

"Oh are you saying my flirting and swordsmanship is good?" You walked right into that trap. Mentally scolding yourself, you flushed at his statement.

“Whatever, I’ll show you were everything is, and you can cook whatever.” You grumbled.

You groaned at the soreness in your body and after you showed Kaeya everything you made your way to the back.

Kaeya’s thoughts were racing in his head. You were like alcohol. So dizzying and addictive.

"So I'm good with the sword and flirting is that right?" He mumbled, heading towards the cabinets. "I heard what you said about my 'idiotic puns' too but I'll let that slide. Let's see what she has and impress her more hm?"

Talking to himself, he started to make a few snacks for the both of you. He had begun to him to himself of a tune he heard in the tavern. His thoughts wandered back to you as he remembered your favorites that you’ve eaten.

Honestly, you had stolen his heart the moment he laid eyes on you back in the Knight Academy. He had never believed in love as first sight, but you had made him fall so many times. You were one of the most capable people he knew, and he knew to call you when situations got bad.

But he had majorly fell for you on one of your crazy days. It was after you had left the Knight Academy. You were becoming an adventurer instead of staying within Mond. It was where you two had hung out in your training to slack off, and it was rough. You were drunk and off your rocker while you were underneath one of the trees close to the gates.

The way the moon filtered through the trees had made you seem angelic. It was a beauty. The light colors had clashed with the shadows as you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, and Kaeya swears he has never been more in love. You were the pure definition of his starlight.

When the light hit your eyes or when you made sneaky glances at him, he feels his heart speed up and the stupid butterflies flutter in his stomach. As if his small crush of his younger days could’ve have blown over when it was you, he was always thinking about.

Earlier when you had looked at him when the moon shone perfectly on your face, he felt happiness and he forgot what I was worrying about. He was immediately transported back to his younger days. I forgot why I approached her. He had forgot about the knights and the worries he’s had.

Suddenly he thought of Diluc. He groaned at the thought. The time Kaeya told Diluc about his feelings about Y/N, he was drunk.. not drunk.. completely wasted, but that wasn’t a surprise. Kaeya told him about those wonderful eyes, your lovely hair, your amazing mind, the way you handled situations, and most of all: his plan. Kayea Alberich confessed that he wanted to impress you with every single thing he has in his body. Diluc was so fed up with him he was kicked out. So every time -without fail, Diluc has a brother clock installed- the red haired man will take the alcohol from Kaeya and kick him out before the rants start.

Finishing up the small snack, Kaeya turned around to be met with you padding in with your pajamas. You yawned and gave him a tired smile.

"I really don't hope you mind that I made myself home in your kitchen," He chuckled and he plated the food.

"Nah it's ok, you did make some for you right? I don't want you to starve under my watch." Yawning once again, you sat down near the table and Kayea placed the food after you were seated in front of you.

“Thank you some much.. it’s been a rough day,” You gave him a light nod and propped your face in your hand. Kayea was about to internally combust.

"To answer your question, I did make me some. I’d knew you’d be ok with it,” Kaeya turned and thought for a moment. “I need to give you a new nickname. But first, would you like something to drink?”

You nodded and told him your preferred drink and also mentioned that there was some wine in the top cabinet.

Grabbing the bottle, her drink, and a glass, Kaeya headed over to the table and your lovely eyes shone up at him. You looked so content here just even in his presence.

"Thank you Kayea, this looks amazing really good.” You hadn't touched your food yet.

"Hey.. why haven't you touched your food yet?" The man asked opening the wine and pouring it in his glass.

You looked at him with the most serious face. “I wanted you to eat with me since you fixed the meal.”

"Well I'm here now so let's eat."

The two of you ate in silence, but it wasn't an awkward one. It was quite comfortable, to say the least. The silence was broken a few times for small talk, or the compliments on the food that was prepared.

"Since you cooked I will was the dishes ok? It's only a few so it shouldn’t take too long, then if you want we can talk or you can stay over.” You got up from your spot on the table. "Are you finished with your wine?"

"Ah I'm almost done, but I'll wash that when I'm completed. Thank you for the offer." Kayea gave a genuine smile and you made your way to the sink.

If there was one thing about Kaeya you loved, it was his smile. Not his crap-eating grins or his flirty smirk, but his genuine smile. Obviously you had liked him from one of your first encounters.

You stopped yourself. This was a silly crush that should've blown over by now, but every time he gave you his real smile or when he called your name -it was rare, he normally called you his nicknames for you- it would make your heart beat fast. Fast like the pacing of a drum trying to keep the orchestra in tempo but is off rhythm for a few taps. And the butterflies, they attacked your belly with fearsome flutters. It was as if they were a parasite, never to go away every time you saw his handsome figure.

It was as if a sickness had plagued you, starting from your brain to your heart. As if Kaeya himself was the original parasite and the bacteria had found its way to you. It planted its love sickness into you and decided to stay there with you as it's new host.

Washing the dishes you heard Kaeya's footsteps from behind you approaching the sink. There were a lot more dishes than you expected because you didn't wash the ones from yesterday. Looking over beside you, Kayea's eyepatched side was facing you so you couldn't read his face. You yawned as a greeting.

Silence engulfed you both again, this time it was an awkward one. Kaeya started to help you wash the dirty utensils and eating trays. On occasions when your hand brushed each others', you flipped out and tried to not have any reaction to it.

"...ugh I can't do this anymore," Kaeya finally spoke up to break this silence.

"I told you to leave the dishes to me, you didn't have to help," you looked up at him again and you never realized he was staring at you. You heard his breathing become more faster, as if he was nervous.

"You aren't talking about the dishes.. are you?" Turning off the water and wiping your hands off you handed Kaeya the rag to let him do the same. After both your hands were dry, he suddenly grabbed yours and held them firm.

“Kaeya!?" He has grabbed your hand before but it was never like this, not even close to this. Once again startling you, he led you to your back door. "What.. what are you doing!?" Exclaiming you got quiet after he stopped. You faced the moon’s light once again and Kaeya's eyes, they held something you couldn't place. You've never been looked at like that before and you didn't know if it was bad or not.

"Y/N... I want you to listen to me ok..?" He muttered these words (and they went through one ear and out the other), his hands now away from your hands and back at your sides. Kaeya rarely used your name so you shut up somehow even more. Nodding he gave a small smile and he took a deep breathe. "Starlight."

"Huh..?" Interjecting at that one word  you faltered. That one word was what Kaeya had been stressing about? Maybe he was the sleep deprived one.

"That's what I see when I look at you Y/N.. every time I look into your wonderful eyes and the light just hits them perfectly and it radiates every speck of color in them. And your hair.. don't get me started on how much I love it."

Absentmindedly you played with your hair as you listen to him. Just hearing him speak about every part of you made that sickness exhilarate.

"But.. when I first looked at you.. the first time we spoke.. it was heaven. You're personality is the best I've ever experienced along with you being by my side. It makes me get up out of my bed every morning to know that you'll be there to smile at me. Even on my worse days all I have to do is think about you and it's like that rainy cloud drifts away." By this point he grabbed your hand again. "The way you make me feel, it's unbearable sometimes.. you’re like alcohol Y/N.” He grabbed both of your hands and placed them into his hands and pulled you ever so close. "Starlight is what I see when I look into those eye, because you, my darling.. are the one who gives me light." He gave you his genuine smiles, and you heart was beyond melted. "I love you.. I love you past the stars Y/N.. you mean the world and moon to me.." by this time you had flung yourself into his arms.

“Kaeya.." you chuckled into his shirt. "You've beat me." You broke the hug and managed to look at him.

"W-what?" He spluttered out. The smile finally growing bigger and bigger on both of your faces.

"You've beat me because I wanted to tell you I love you first." You pecked his nose and hugged him again.

"Well my darling.. you really are like starlight, always being the star that brings everyone life.."

#♡mel writes #genshin impact x reader #kaeya alberich #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x reader #kaeya x y/n #old fic #this got so long #writing #crush #love #to be called his starlight😫 #yeah I love him sm #I’ve mained him since day 1 tbh #likes appreciated #fluff #friends to lovers #i apologize for the awkward spacing tbh

[thanksbarton-moved]

🍒  + any of my urls. i just need the love.

@fightpose || meme

You need love? Well you are gonna get it, my terrold. Tbh, I don't remember what year we found each other or what fandom. I feel like it might've been that one vampire show fandom. But I won't lie and say I know for sure. I feel like you've just always been there. Like, you make a blog, I make a blog and even if we don't follow each other at first or even know about it--we somehow find our way back into each other's orbits. I think that's pretty neat.

I admire the fact that you can just set things up so fast. Like, I could never. It takes me forever and I think that's because I tend to overanalyze everything I do before I do. But it helps to have people to enable me along the way. And tbh, you've always been one of those people who does what they want and I love that. More people should just do what they want without caring about other people's opinions because they are just that opinions.

And honestly, I know things are rough sometimes, but you definitely have this and remember that there's no wrong way to play a character. Just your way. For some reason I was writing this and it kept coming to mind all the characters you have had over the years that have sort of been that--younger sibling vibe with mine. I know there were a few with Ezra and some with Ric. And I think that's awesome.

I think your writing is really great and everything you make is really pretty. I also just think you as a human are amazing. No really, ur amazing, and you shouldn't let life or this hellsite get you down. Because you know what? People just wanna dull things that shine brightly because they are jealous.

#fightpose #( they didn't say what we lost ~ answered ) #long post tw