#insecure!reader

[arctickat2400]

Love You More ~ Henry Cavill

Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: 2470

Warnings: insecure!reader, fluff, angst, tiny bit of blood, negative self talk

A/N 1: You can picture yourself wearing whatever you want in this, but I've originally pictured myself wearing a cropped tank top and underwear cuz even though I'm insecure about my body, I love chilling around the house without pants, and in my head I know Henry loves it too lol

A/N 2: You will see in this imagine that I mention a blanket. It is a type of sensory blanket, a small square of fabric that my mom made me that contains eight tags made of ribbon around the edges. It helps me when I'm anxious (which is basically 24/7) in which I will rub the tags between my fingers to calm my mind, keep my mind and hands occupied.

Hope you enjoy!!

***

You hate what you see when you look in the mirror - your soft belly, thick thighs, wide hips, love handles, cellulite-covered skin. You loved when friends and family complimented you, but your mind never believed them. Looking at each and every detail of your body, your mind becomes overwhelmed and your emotions become too intense. A shrill scream escapes your throat as you ram your fist into the glass, shattering it to pieces. You watch in tears as the shattered glass falls from the surface before your legs give out and you collapse to the cold tile floor. 

Henry had just gotten home about an hour ago. You had seemed fine then, happy to see him as usual, jumping into his arms as he pulled you into a sweet ‘hello’ kiss. However, as he sat at the kitchen island on his laptop reading over his script waiting for you to join him again, Henry knew that that had all changed when he heard your heart wrenching scream.

Henry paid no mind to the bar stool toppling over as he stood and ran up the stairs toward the sound that scared him most, Kal right on his heels. Rushing into the bathroom to see your curled up in tears on the floor, Henry doesn’t hesitate to kneel down beside your shaking body. Taking your trembling body in his arms, Henry tries to keep his own tears at bay when he sees the blood and tiny glass shards on your knuckles. Looking up at the now non-existent mirror and the shattered glass across the floor, Henry knows exactly what’s going on in your mind, holding you tighter in his strong embrace as you cry in agony. Henry looked at Kal sitting patiently in the bathroom door, and he knew he was just as worried as his father was about his mother. 

You’ve always been insecure about your body, even though Henry never ceases to tell you how much he loves your body. He thought that after you met him, you were getting better. And you have, but still, on those not so rare days, you’ll break down in tears. He hates that nothing has been able to help you long term. But, Henry is always there to hold you and take care of you, no matter what, and he vows to always be there for you. 

“It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you,” Henry whispers in your ear softly as he rocks you in his lap. You hold on to his arm, squeezing his bicep in your grip despite the pain in your right hand. Henry runs his fingers through your hair, placing a kiss to the top of your head, trying to soothe your angered mind. 

Henry listens as your labored breaths begin to calm, looking down to see your eyes closed. He let out a sigh of relief, even if it was only temporary, when he realized you had fallen asleep. 

You’ve been suffering with chronic fatigue for so long and it’s taken a toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It prevents you from doing certain everyday things. Henry’s been there for you through it all and you can’t imagine how hard it would be without him. You could never thank him enough for how amazing he’s been since you met. But he hates that neither of you have been able to find a way to help. Some may say that what you’re going through needs to be fixed. However, Henry doesn’t want to fix you, because he doesn’t believe there’s anything broken. You just need a bit of extra love and care, and he has vowed to spend the rest of his life giving you that and more.

Henry, still holding your sleeping form in his arms, your head lying against his chest, leans forward into the bathroom cabinet under the sink to grab the rubbing alcohol and a washcloth. He takes a pair of tweezers and begins pulling out the small, yet knowingly painful shards of glass from your skin. He was thankful you were out cold so you didn’t have to experience the pain consciously. Kal, having laid down in the doorway, cried out after having smelled the blood and watching Henry take care of his mum. 

“It’s alright, buddy. Mum’s alright,” Henry assures his dog, looking over with a half smile to see Kal’s face lying on his paws, staring at the scene in front of him. 

After all the pieces were out, Henry washes over your knuckles with the alcohol, cleaning the blood from your cuts and down your hands where the blood ran. Once clean, he wraps gauze around your hand before picking you up and carrying you bridal style to your shared bed. Henry places you down carefully, covering you in the comforter before placing a sweet kiss to your forehead. He patted the bed softly for Kal to jump up and keep you company while Henry went back into the bathroom to pick up the broken glass. 

Henry couldn’t bear to leave you after what you just went through, so after cleaning, he sat in the recliner beside your bed, looking over you to make sure you were okay. Smiling sweetly at the sight of Kal’s large, fluffy head laying down on your thigh, Henry picked up his book from his bedside table to read. He always kept an eye on you, looking up every now and then when you would stir, only to turn over to get more comfortable in your sleep. 

After a while, it seems Henry had been reading the same sentences over and over, having trouble comprehending the words on the pages. His mind was plagued with thoughts of you and how all he wanted to do was help you, take care of you, love you so you wouldn’t think such horrible things about yourself anymore. 

The anxiety got the best of him, needing to get up and walk around instead. Henry stood up, placing a kiss on your forehead and, making sure you were still alright, he headed down the stairs quietly, Kal staying behind while cuddling up next to you. Henry paced around the loft - through the living room, down the hall, even going back up the stairs and into the bathroom before coming back out and passing you again on the bed. Kal raises his head each time Henry would pass before laying his head back down beside you. 

Henry finally ends up back downstairs and in the kitchen, leaning on the island, rubbing his face in slight distress. Henry hated seeing you in such pain. He hated that he couldn’t take the pain away, or at least some of it, take some of the weight off your shoulders and help you carry it. He hated that he couldn’t help you and make it all better. But he also knew that he would not stop trying, and he would continue to love you through it all.

Henry is in his own world when you decide to make your appearance, Kal following you down the steps and into the kitchen. He hadn’t noticed either of you until you came up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, laying your head between his shoulder blades. 

“Hey, darling,” He greets softly, a sweet smile coming to his lips at just the mere presence of you. He brings one hand up to smooth over your bandaged hand that’s placed across his chest, intertwining your fingers. Henry turns in your embrace, taking you into his arms and holding your head to his chest, brushing his hand through your hair, his other hand gently rubbing your side.

The longer you stand there, the easier it is for your mind to become overwhelmed again with negative thoughts. Henry feels you start to shiver, hearing your soft sniffles as tears cascade down your cheeks.

“Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay, baby. Everything’s alright,” Henry tries calming you before placing his hands under your thighs and picking you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, clinging to him like a koala. He rubs your back as he carries you to the couch. Sitting down, he holds you in his lap for a little while longer, Kal jumping up on the couch and laying beside you, placing his head on your thigh, looking up at you with sad eyes. As your sniffles and cries die down, Henry, with a bit of hesitation of your own, pushes you back, holding you close enough to be able to see your beautiful, but sorrowful red eyes. 

“What’s going on, sweetheart? Tell me what’s on your mind,” Henry requests as he brushes his thumb over your red, tear stained cheeks, looking into your eyes with such worry and sadness, yet the love and adoration never ceases.

You look down at your hands, picking at the skin, before Henry takes both your hands in his while leaning forward to grab your blanket from the coffee table, handing it to you. 

“I’ve just… I’ve been so tired lately. And I’ve been eating so much that I’ve gained weight. I’ve hardly been able to control my hunger and my mind is plagued by food, and all I can think about is how much I hate myself and my body because I can’t control any of this and I’m sick of being so damn tired all the time!” You pause, your breathing becoming heavy and labored, tears rushing from your eyes, as you smooth your fingers over one of the tags on your blanket. 

“And it doesn’t help that the thought keeps coming to me that you didn’t sign up for this and I’m scared you might feel like you’re stuck with me and how could you still love me like this?” You almost scream in tears, Kal letting out a worried whine in response. Henry takes you back into his arms, a look of panic on his face as he holds your head against his chest, his other hand smoothing down over your hair.

“Hey, hey, hey, no, baby. I’m right here. I’m not leaving you. This is the only place I want to be. If I could hold you forever, that’s exactly what I’d do,” Henry holds you tight as you cry for the next several minutes, fisting his shirt in your grip as you couldn’t keep your tears at bay. 

“Can you look at me now, princess?” Henry asks you, placing his hands on either side of your face, pulling you back to look at him. You sniffle as you lock eyes with his mesmerizing cerulean blue eyes. He gives you a reassuring smile, rubbing his thumbs across your temples.

“Listen very closely, my love. I have told you so many times, and it will never cease to be the truth, darling - no matter how you look, how much you weigh, how much you eat, now matter how much of literally anything you do, I will always, always, love you, no matter what. I don’t care if you lose or you gain weight. I love you for you, and I will always love you. There is not a single thing about you that could change that.” He has to repeat some things so he knows that it will be ingrained in your mind.

“Because the truth is, baby,” Henry pauses briefly with a smile, chuckling. “I can only ever love you more. Every day, when I think I can’t possibly love you more, you will do something crazy or silly, or say something absolutely outrageous, and it just makes me love you so much more. I still don’t know how you do it, but you never cease to amaze me, my sweet baby girl. And nothing about your body will ever change that,” He says it all with a huge smile on his face, his eyes never leaving yours, and you find yourself crying not sad tears, but happy ones now as you rush into Henry’s arms.

“I love you so much,” You whisper in his ear, holding onto him tight, your fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“You, my love, are the most magnificent woman I’ve ever met, and there will never be a day where I stop loving you, because it is impossible for me not to love you,” Henry admits, his arms tightening around your torso. He kisses the side of your head before you pull back, placing your hands on either side of his head now, leaning in and pressing your lips to his in a passionate expression of pure love and devotion. 

“Now, if you are ever thinking anything negative about your body again, my beautiful girl, you make sure to come straight to me and I will do everything in my power to make those thoughts go away, promise me?” Henry demands, firmly but in sweet assurance. 

You nod your head with a small smile, “I promise.” Henry smiles as he looks down and begins rubbing across your tummy with his knuckles.

“You do know that even though I’m not with you for your body, I still believe you are absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous? There is not a single day I don’t look at you and think, ‘Damn, how did I get so lucky to be able to hold this stunning human being in my arms everyday?’ I mean how could someone not love this adorable belly of yours?” Henry chuckles as he leans down and blows a raspberry against your tummy. A deep red blush comes to your cheeks as a laugh erupts from your lips.

“I think it’s the other way around, my love.” You giggle, calming down as Henry, still with a smile on his face, comes back up and looks up into your eyes while rubbing your soft sides, his thumbs brushing over your belly. “How did I get so lucky to meet not only the handsomest man on earth, but the most caring, loving, warmest man with the biggest heart of gold who never ceases to tell me how much he loves me?” You smile shyly, your thumb brushing across his bottom lip. 

“We’re just a match made in heaven, my darling,” Henry says as you both laugh softly together, meeting in a sweet kiss, Henry’s hands on either of your thighs, holding you to him. 

You feel something cold against your arm and you both look down to see a smiling Kal looking up at both of you. “Hi, sweet boy,” You smile at Kal, running your fingers through the thick fur on his head while you lean forward to lay your head on Henry’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around you, thanking God for this extraordinary woman he gets to call his. 

#fluff #angst #Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill x Reader #Henry Cavill imagines #Kal Cavill #insecure!reader

[savannahsdeath]

heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3

ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??

writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞

it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.

either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.

the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.

that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.

suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"

she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.

you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.

you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.

you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.

what if she sees me the way i see myself?

your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.

"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.

you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.

pretty.

girl.

those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.

"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.

she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.

you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.

"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.

you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.

it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."

she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.

she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.

ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.

as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"

"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."

with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.

a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.

what am i doing?

ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.

but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.

"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.

you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.

you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #reqs open #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x insecure!reader #ellie x insecure!reader #insecure!reader

[elliesmainhoe]

hi! LOVE your work btw slay every time😍

i was wondering if u could do a ellie with a gf who’s insecure ab her body (totally not self-indulgent😮) and how ellie would look after and reassure her 

thank you so much <3

Ellie Williams Headcanons: Insecure!Reader

Your so real for this bae

Ellie is absolutely flabbergasted at the idea of you being insecure

Because to her your just so perfect?!?

From every dip in your skin, to every scar you've earned.

She loves every little bit of you.

So much to the extent that she'd probably be able to recite where every mole, birthmark and freckle on your body is.

Can tell when your feeling down even if you don't communicate those feelings

And ofc she's going above and beyond to express how beautiful she thinks you are.

Normally she's already a push over when it comes to affection but she turns it up to the absolute max

Ugh- Is always hitting you with the "Hey beautiful" and .That. Shit. Eating. smirk 🙄❤️

Kisses every part of you that your insecure about. Stretch marks? Smooch. Thighs? Smooch. Nose? She's smooching.

If your really feeling the self-doubt, this girl knows how to make you forget about it iykyk

Makes you so flustered all the time with her ceaseless compliments.

Has a photo of you as her phones wallpaper and always shows it to her friends with a 'Look how pretty my girl is'

Has no shame

She is a simp. Through and through.

Writes positive affirmations and compliments on sticky notes and hides them around for you to find.

In your lunch box, in your coat pocket, inside your makeup bag.

She's such an angel.

She thinks it's adorable how camera shy you are

And always enjoys snapping pictures of you when your not looking.

She always asks if she can post them- and if you say no she'll save them into her eyes only folder.

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Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @eywaskisses @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @ellies-girl @escaping-reality8 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm @hi2647 @gumdropkoo @coffeeandbookskeepmealive @womaniza @namgification @kimiisims-blog @tayyyystan @abigaillovestoread @whoreshores @kylieeluvstlou @knowitsforthebetterr @endureher @erikaar @lanasluverr @sayah13 @ilovebufflesbians @srryhoneyy @222fine444u @jade1212 @frogtits1 @casually-simping @amoebagrl @darleneslane

Guess who's back from the dead~~~

#ellie williams #the last of us #lesbian #wlw #ellie williams fic #ellie williams x fem!reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #lesbian fic #ellie x reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams imagine #comfort #ellie williams comfort #insecure!reader #insecurity comfort #body image comfort

[forays-into-fiction]

I Want You So Bad I Can’t Breathe

You met Eddie when you first moved to Hawkins, Indiana it was an especially difficult time for you and Eddie was the one to stand by you, becoming fast friends. But then he was moving on to middle school and leaving you behind only to forget about you. You admire him from afar until Hellfire Club where you finally reconnect.

 Request fill for @harringtonfan4​ hope you like it, sorry if I went too hard on the negative self-image/insecurity stuff 😅

Minors DNI

Contains: Dom!Eddie/Sub!Reader, Slight Perv!Eddie Virgin!Reader, PlusSize!Reader, Insecure!Eddie, Insecure!Reader, Loss of Virginity, Angst, Major Internalised Fatphobia/Fatphobia, Bullying, Daddy Kink, Spitting, Dirty Talk, Fingering, Praise Kink, Innocence/Virginity Kink, Unprotected Sex, Drug Use (Weed)

Fat. It was a word you’d heard more than half your life by now at eighteen. The first time someone called you fat you were seven, she was supposed to be your friend… your best friend, but her snide little, ‘Why are you so fat? It’s so gross!’ stuck with you.

 Looking back now you know you weren’t fat… you know it every time you look back, but you can never see it in the moment. And you weren’t fat you were just an average sized little girl with chubby little cheeks.

No matter how far back it’s always been ‘oh I used to think I was so fat back then, what I would give to go back to that size. But now, now I really am fat’

 Over the years this mindset had really impacted your life, you used to be more outgoing, you used to love to sing and dance, you used to live without constantly thinking about how everyone else saw you. Because no one wants to see the fat girl having fun, enjoying life right… better to hide away.

You had tried to lose weight, so many times… and you did, but every time you’d lose weight as soon as you’d hit a plateau your weight would sit there for a bit before slowly creeping back up and up and up. At least until you weighed even more than when you’d started.

 It wasn’t just your friend that had made comments about your weight, she was the first but she certainly wasn’t the last. You’d also had a bully around the same time, she had consistently tormented you every day. 

Day after day she’d drag you away from your friends, pulling you into a secluded corner to harass you verbally, physically, mentally… until one day you finally told someone. 

Your mum went off on that other girl, threatened her so badly every time you saw her since then she’d cross the road to avoid you… but the damage had been done.

You didn’t have to deal with the aftermath for too long, shortly after your parents had decided to move to Hawkins, Indiana to be closer to your grandparents. 

Your little brother was almost four now and they were going to need help taking care of the two of you, both of them working long hours and odd shifts just to get by. Also needed a bigger house to accommodate the needs of your growing family.

You were eight when you first met him, he was ten both of you still in elementary school. You were new in town, that in itself already made you an oddity to say the least. 

Some kids had been picking on you, calling you names, pushing you around, you were on the verge of tears when he stepped in. He’d scared them off pretty easily, being both older and taller, buzzed head giving him a ‘tougher’ look.

 Once they had left, he turned to you, placing a hand on your shoulder looking into your eyes like you were the only thing that mattered in the world, “Hey, don’t pay attention to shitheads like that, ok? I’m Eddie.”

“Y/n…” You reply shakily.

“Y/n,” He repeats, “that is a very pretty name. Nice to meet you y/n.”

“N-nice to meet you t-too.”

“Wanna have lunch with me?”

“Yeah…”

 You’d spent the rest of that school year by his side he’d introduced you to this game he played, Dungeons and Dragons. He’d jokingly criticised your taste in music, telling you he’d show you some real music. 

You pout and protest that just because he doesn’t like your music doesn’t mean it’s not real music, but begrudgingly you listen to his stuff and find you actually like it… not that you’d admit it to him, you’d never give him the satisfaction.

 If you were honest with yourself, you’d been smitten with him since that day, but you buried those thoughts and feelings deep down, tried to ignore it.

But then all too quickly he’s moving on to middle school, the two of you promise to stay in touch but you don’t. You don’t want to push it either, he’s probably moved on to something better… someone better.

 In his absence you became closer with one Nancy Wheeler. Your brother and hers were in the same playgroup and your families had become closer as a whole. Both you and her were the same age, you’d bonded over the little things and she was a good friend to you.

It’s not until another two years later that you see him again, you’re starting middle school and he’s in his final year there. His hair is a bit longer now, no longer completely buzzed, still cropped short but growing out. 

You admire him from afar, he wouldn’t remember you… why would he remember you? You couldn’t risk embarrassing yourself by approaching him now.

 Your brother and his friends have discovered Dungeons and Dragons, the game has changed a bit since you first played but you sit in with them for a few sessions, Nancy also joins on occasion. 

You DM until Will asks to take over one session, then they all take turns at being DM, each running their own campaign with your guidance. As Nancy starts to lose interest in the game, you feel you should stick with her rather than intrude on your brother’s group.

 And time slips by the year is over, he’s moving on to high school, leaving you behind once more.

By the time you see him again you’re both in high school, his hair is longer still, becoming a bushy mane around his head, he’s really embracing the ‘metal’ look from what you can see and it suits him you think.  

 You hear he’s started a D&D group here at the school, Hellfire Club it was called. You were tempted to join, you had really missed him all these years, you doubt he would have even spared you a second thought… who would? Why would he care about that fat, little weird kid who followed him around for a year?

 You ask Nancy what she thinks, “I kinda know the guy that runs it, we were friends for a little while. It was before you and I really started hanging out properly, but I don’t think he remembers me. What do you think, should I join? Would you join with me?”

 “I think if you want to join you should, and it seems like you do… but I don’t know about joining myself, I kind of outgrew that phase. I’m thinking of signing up for the school paper though.”

“Oh, yeah that’s great you definitely should!”

“So, what about you? You going to join that club?”

“Ummm… yeah, maybe… I do want to, but I’m a little nervous.”

“I thought you said the guy that runs it is a friend, just talk to him.”

“Yeah, but we haven’t talked in years, I’m sure he doesn’t remember me.”

“It’ll be fine if you are worried about talking to him directly, I’m sure they’d have some sort of sign-up sheet, just go put your name down.” She shrugs.

“Yeah. Yeah, ok that doesn’t sound too bad.”

And they do have a sign-up sheet, it’s hung just outside the drama room, but you can’t see a pen anywhere. You rummage around in your bag for your pencil case, but then he appears beside you and you jump. 

He holds a pen out towards you with one hand, the other on which he’d drawn a silly, little face comes up and he makes it ‘talk’ with a funny voice, “Need a pen?”

“Ahhh… yeah, thanks…?” You take the offered pen awkwardly.

His silly face hand drops, internally he’s facepalming, ‘why the fuck did you do that?’ he thinks pressing on despite this, “Eddie. My name is Eddie.”

You shift self-consciously avoiding looking him in the eye, “Yeah, I uhh… I remember you, Eddie. You probably don’t remember me-”

A broad grin spreads across his face, “Are you kidding, of course I remember you, princess. Sorry if I scared you earlier, by the way. So, you’re signing up for Hellfire, huh?”

You shrug, “Yeah, if you’ll have me, I guess.”

“It’ll be just like the good old days. You still been playing?”

“Umm… not so much lately, but you remember my little brother?”

He nods, you continue, “He and his friends are really into it now. When they first started I DM’ed for them, at least until they got the hang of it.”

“Awww, princess DM’ing… I woulda loved to see that.”

“I mean you still could… if I’m joining Hellfire…”

“Oh, no… no I am the Dungeon Master there, princess no one else. And I run a brutal campaign… you better prepare yourself. I’m not about to go easy on you, just cause it’s you.”

“We’ll see about that won’t we Munson, I can take brutal, you know.”

He just about chokes on his words at that, but manages to contain himself… barely, “Uhh huh sure you can, princess.”

The next couple of years after that the two of you reconnect, it was like you’d never been apart, but again he’s coming up on his final year, about to leave you behind yet again. And then… he doesn’t, he doesn’t graduate, he fails his senior year. 

You’re torn on the one hand it means you get another year with him, another year before he disappears again. On the other hand, you hated seeing him fail, you knew how shitty high school was for him, constantly being mocked and teased. You hadn’t had it any better either, but having him there helped and now you’d have him for another year.

 But now, now you’re eighteen, he’s twenty and he’s failed again. So, you get to share all your classes with him, you feel guilty about how happy you are to still have him with you. 

Your little brother and his friends are just starting high school and Eddie takes them under his wing, inviting them to join you at your table. You would have done so yourself, but he’d beaten you to it and it reminded you of the day you met him, the way he stood up for you, the way he still stood up for you.

 Your feelings have resurfaced… or maybe they’d always been there, just bubbling away in the hidden recesses of your mind. You hated yourself for it, it wasn’t for you to have a crush… nothing could possibly come of it, you’d seen the way he’d looked at other girls, prettier girls, skinnier girls… he’d never want you, why bother? And every day you dig yourself deeper into this hole, torturing yourself.

He’s driving you to school one day when you find yourself humming along to one of the songs on his radio and he is very quick to call you out on it. “Hey, I thought you didn’t like my, quote ‘shitty metal’?”

You give him a shove, “Fuck off, you know I don’t.”

“Oh, yeah then why are you fucking humming Metallica hmmm?” He grins smugly.

“I dunno, I guess it grows on you… like a wart… or a skin lesion… or you.”

“Hey, you take that back!”

You giggle, “Never.”

“Oh, really is that how it is?” He glances over at you briefly, taking one hand from the steering wheel he begins poking at you “Take. It. Back.”

You squirm away from his prodding fingers, but then instead of getting your arm or your shoulder he misses and makes contact with the swell of your belly and you freeze.

He knows he’s done something wrong, when he glances over again, the way your giggles die on your lips, the way you won’t look at him.

“What’s wrong princess?” He asks seriously.

“Nothing. Nothing, just drive.” Your voice sounds almost empty, but he doesn’t push any further.

Nancy knows, even if you won’t admit it at first, but she knows about your not so little crush. When you finally do admit it, she encourages you to do something about it, but you can’t… you couldn’t, could you? What if it ruined everything between the two of you… after all why would he ever look at you like that…

 It does no good to dwell on these thoughts, but they come up, every time you’re in his van, every time he looks at you with that glint in his eye, every time you’re sat in his bedroom… on his bed, smoking and laughing and forgetting who you are for just a split second. It gives you hope, but then it all comes crashing down around you.

 When he shows you how to roll your first joint, you can’t take your eyes off of him. You don’t hear a word he’s saying, it washes over you without comprehension. He sits facing you from the foot of your bed, you sit cross-legged facing him, leaning in slightly. 

You watch his nimble fingers working away, the way his tongue darts out to wet the paper, his eyes never leaving yours, making sure you pay attention. It makes you feel hot all over, squirming as he’s twisting off the end giving you a little grin, proudly showing it off, “… and that is how it’s done.”

“Uhh cool, thanks.” You move to pluck it from his fingertips but he snatches it away.

“Ah, ah, ah don’t you know the rules… roller’s rights?”

You look at him in confusion, he explains, “The roller always takes the first hit.”

“Oh, ok.” You mumble and settle back down into the pillows. He lights up the end then takes a few puffs before passing it over to you, you take a deep drag and choke almost immediately. He laughs before smacking you on the back, before rubbing in soothing circles “Hey, take it easy… just breathe.”

He reaches across you to the water sitting on your bedside table, “Here take a sip, it’ll help.”

You take a few sips of water and steady your breathing before he continues, his hand still on your back, “When you take a hit it’s just a few little breaths in, slowly, lightly. Don’t try to take too much at once, it’s not the same as smoking a cigarette, ok?”

“Yep, uhh huh.” You croak out.  

“And hold the smoke in your mouth first, then breathe in from here…” he rubs a hand over his belly, up high by his diaphragm.

“You wanna try again?”

You nod humming in response and he nods back for you to go ahead.

You follow his advice and it goes better, you try again and it’s even easier.

“Alright, now pass it back.” He holds out a hand and you hand it over to him.

“There, now give it a few minutes before you try again, it’s your first time don’t wanna go too hard, too fast.” He takes another puff.

You giggle, teasing, “But what if I want hard and fast?”

And then he’s choking, spluttering, coughing up smoke.

“Jesus H Christ… princess you can’t say shit like that, someone might take it the wrong way one day.” He gasps out.

You roll your eyes, “Eddie, come on no one is thinking of me like that, get real.”

He hesitates a moment, “What if… what if I told you I thought of you like that?”

“Haha, very funny…” you reply sarcastically, but he’s not laughing, “… wait a minute you’re serious?”

“Yeah, you got no fucking idea…”

“Are you sure that isn’t just the weed talking, I mean I heard it can make people-”

He cuts you off with a fierce kiss, pushing his lips to yours forcefully, nipping at your bottom lip gently, the joint burning down steadily in his limp grip. When he breaks away, he looks at you with lust clouded eyes, “Oh, I’m real fucking sure, princess. I have been crushing on you since God only knows when.”

You look up at him through your lashes, bashfully, “Ummm I’ve been crushing on you pretty much since the day we met.” You confess.

“Shit… can I fucking kiss you again?” He breathes out.

“Yeah… umm, maybe just get rid of that first.” You nod down to his fingers.

“Oh, right… yeah.” He mumbles reaching for his black metal lunchbox, snubbing out the joint on the lid and tossing it inside.

He looks back over at you, leaning in slowly, you don’t know why, but you’re blurting out, “imavirgin…” the words meld together in your embarrassment.

“What was that? Didn’t quite get that...”

You take a deep steadying breath, making sure to enunciate clearly this time, you repeat, “I’m a virgin.”

He lets out a guttural groan, “Fuck, princess is that true? No one… no one’s ever touched you before?”

“Umm no never… never been kissed before either…” You admit shyly.

“That’s quite a few firsts tonight, isn’t it? Do you wanna tackle a few more?”

You nod, pouting at him, “Please Eddie, kiss me again?”

“How could I refuse?”

He swoops in capturing your lips between his own once more, you feel his tongue probing for entrance you let out a needy whine and it’s slipping in alongside your own. 

You tangle your hands into his hair you gasp as he lifts you into his lap, you pull away, “Wh-what’re you doing, don’t I’m heavy…”

“Oh no, you are just perfect, you sit right there, right on top of my cock.” He emphasises this with a roll of his hips and the hard bulge of his dick grinds into your heated core. You whine again at the sensation, feeling a wetness pool between your thighs.

He pulls you back in for another kiss, sloppier than the previous and you grind back against him with a moan.

“Did you mean it?” He gasps into your mouth.

“Huh?”

“When you said you want it ‘hard and fast’… or was that just a joke?”

“I dunno… it wasn’t entirely a joke…”

“You think you can handle it hard and fast, do you think you’ll still like me after, if I’m rough?” He growls.

“Please Eddie, I want you. I want you so bad I can’t breathe.” You gasp.

“Ok, but we’re gonna start off slow alright? Then we can ramp it up to hard and fast.” He chuckles darkly.

As he resumes kissing you his hands move to lift your shirt and you pull away suddenly.

“You ok, sweetheart? You change your mind?” Concern laces his voice.

“No… no it’s not that… just, could we maybe turn the lights off…?”

It’s like a switch flips in his head, “Oh no, no sweetheart I wanna see all of you… every gorgeous bit. The things I would do to you…”

He groans his hands dropping to your plump legs that straddle his own, squeezing them softly, urging you to move against him more firmly, “Wanna bury my face between these thighs… so fucking gorgeous… wanna do so much with ‘em, bite ‘em, suck em, kiss ‘em… push your legs together and fuck them.”

He drops one hand to cup your ass, kneading the soft flesh, he growls, “Oh and if you let me take you from behind, I could watch your ass jiggle as I pound into you, maybe slap it a bit if you’d let me… would you like that princess? Want me to slap that fucking glorious ass of yours? You have no idea how many times I’ve been distracted by just that… thinking about bending you over and just taking you…” You’re panting desperately at his touch, barely done anything and he’s already got you absolutely wrecked.

 He moves his hand up to your chest, groping your breasts he lets out a guttural moan as you whine pitifully, “And these tits, don’t even get me started on those… absolutely perfect… shove my face into them too, suck on your nipples, pinch ‘em ‘til you fucking scream… oh god, I’d love it if you held your tits together… let me fuck em ‘til I cum all over your pretty face, watch it drip down your chin…” his filthy mouth has you soaking your panties, grinding down into him.

You barely register that he’s popped the button on your jeans sliding them down slowly until he flips you over onto your back and you gasp, you never knew he was so strong, the way he was manhandling you like it was nothing. 

He kneels between your legs, towering over you, you yelp as he grabs your jeans roughly pulling them the rest of the way down before you can protest. 

You unconsciously tug the hem of your shirt lower to cover yourself and he swats your hands away, “Ah, ah sweetheart none of that I wanna see you… how about this, if I take off my shirt you let me take off yours?”

You bite you lip as you consider it, God do you wanna see him… bare chest, tattoos all on display… you nod nervously, mumbling “O-ok… b-but you first…?”

He concedes, “Ok, sweetheart me first.”

He hooks a hand into the collar of his shirt pulls it off and tosses it across the room blindly, your eyes rake over him, practically salivating at the sight, lingering on the sparse trail of hair peeking out over his belt. He’s smirking down at you as you pout up at him, “Pants too?”

“What about them?” He teases.

“Wan’ you to take yours off too… ‘s only fair…”

He grins devilishly, eyes glinting, “How about you take them off for me, princess?”

You sit up and place a shaky hand over his belt buckle, your fingers just grazing the hair of his happy trail. You undo the belt clumsily and unzip his jeans before rolling them down his thighs slowly. His baggy blue and white chequered boxers do little to hide his erection as it tents the fabric there. 

Before you can do anything else he’s pushing you back into the pillows behind you, “Now, I seem to remember that the deal was… tit for tat, or rather tats for tits you may say…” he chuckles.

You giggle and resist the urge to fight him when his hands drop to toy with the hem of your shirt, he leans in easing your shirt up, trailing kisses over your belly, your chest, until he pulls your shirt over your head and tosses that aside too, diving back in to kiss you eagerly on the lips. He pulls away leaving you breathless, humming in appreciation, “Beautiful…”

“Eddie stoop…” You whine swatting at him.

“Never, I meant what I said and I’m gonna suck on those tits ‘til you’re begging me for more… there’s uhh… something I want you to do for me though…”

“What’s that?” You mumble curiously.

“Don’t call me Eddie. Do you think you could… call me ‘daddy’ while we…”

You gasp, “Fuck… yeah I can do that for you… daddy.”

“Yeah, just like that, sweetheart.” He moans encouragingly before ducking his head to the crook of your neck biting, kissing, mouthing on it as his hands wrap around you. Calloused, ringed fingers brush against your back as he fiddles with the clasp of your bra, he gets it loose and slips it off down your arms. 

He trails kisses down your chest until he reaches a nipple, sucking it into his mouth, laving over it with his tongue. His hands join his mouth, pushing your tits closer together, pinching and rolling the other nipple between his fingers. Your breath hitches at his ministrations and you let out a shaky moan.

“So, fucking responsive… love that I’m the only one who gets to do this to you…” He growls against your skin. He takes the hand closest to his mouth and caresses your mound, before dipping his fingers under the waistband. He runs his fingertips through your slick, teasing your entrance before dragging the up to circle your clit.

“All of this is just for me…” He murmurs, pulling away from you chest briefly.

“Yes, just you… no one else.” You gasp in response.

“God fucking damn, that’s right. I’m the only one that gets to touch you like this, isn’t that right?”

You mumble in assent, “Mhmmm that’s right… daddy, only you.”

“Fuck, princess gonna make me bust a nut and we haven’t even started yet.”

Your legs quiver on either side of him as he plunges two fingers into you crooking them against your soft, spongy walls. You can hear his rings clink together and feel them bump against your entrance, the sound met with a wet squelch as your cunt takes all he has to offer. 

His thumb moves to press against your clit in clumsy circles, you grab onto his shoulders tightly, there’s a tension mounting, coiling deep in your belly.

“That’s it princess, you gonna cum for daddy? Cum on my fingers for me.”

Something in you snaps and the tension is released all at once, your walls flutter on his fingertips, your release gushing all over them as you moan breathily.

He grins at you proudly as you gasp for breath, “So, another first for you… what’s that now, first joint, first kiss, first orgasm from my fingers… what’s next my tongue or my cock.

“Jesus fucking Christ Eddie…” he gives you a disapproving look and you try again, “please… please, daddy.”

“Please what, sweetheart… use your words.”

“Please… fuck me…” You whine.

“How do you want it?” He asks firmly, “Tongue. Or cock?”

“Wan’ your cock, wan’ you to fuck me hard, show me I’m yours…” You whimper in response, weakly reaching for his boxers.

“You on any kind of birth control, sweetheart?” He asks in earnest.

“Mhhmm… yep I am.”

“Good… that’s good… now you’re sure about this, right?”

“Yes, never wanted anything more in my life… please…”

He ducks down and presses a kiss to your thigh before tugging your panties down your legs. He looks up at you with a little grin, panties hanging off his finger, “Mind if I keep these?”

“You can have whatever you want so long as you make me cum again daddy…”

He groans in response eyes squeezing shut briefly, and he palms at his cock. He drapes your panties over his lunchbox before sliding down his boxers to join his jeans. His thick, weepy length bobs up between his legs, precum bubbling up at the flushed tip. You gasp at the sight, “You’re so… big… can I touch it first?”

“Gonna gimme an ego sweetheart…” he mumbles as he reaches out for your hand guiding it onto his stiff length.

His precum slicks the motions of your hand, he controls the pace, running your hand along his length the way he likes. You devote all your attention to his cock while he watches you appreciatively.

When you swipe your thumb over the head on the upstroke, he growls lowly, “That’s enough now, princess. This time you’re gonna soak my cock with that tight little cunt of yours.” He looks into your eyes, his own dark with lust.

He pulls his jeans and boxers all the way off dropping them over the edge of the bed.

He pushes you back down into the pillows with a hand on your shoulder before moving to sweep your hair out of your face. He grabs your hand, slick and sticky from rubbing his flushed cock and holds it in front of your face, “Look you got your hand all messy. Lick it clean princess.” He orders.

He pushes your own hand to your mouth and you swipe your tongue over your palm before wrapping your lips around your fingers with a low moan. “Such a good girl for daddy.” He hums, you can taste him on your skin you whine as you imagine what it would be like to suck on his fat cock. 

He smirks down at you while he grips his shaft at the base, rubbing the head through your glistening folds. Then another image springs to mind, one he’d painted for you, of him fucking your breasts, losing himself completely and cumming all over your face… how high would it splatter, would it get in your mouth, would it taste like this.

He pulls your hand away from your mouth leaning in for a kiss as he forces his tip inside your dribbling entrance. He swallows up all your little whines and gasps as he drops a hand between you to rub at your swollen clit. He sinks into you further and further until he’s buried deeper than you ever thought possible.

“Gonna give it to you hard and fast real soon princess, but we gotta get you a little warmed up for me first…”

He rolls his hips thrusting shallowly as you adjust to the sensation.

“Please… hmmm… fuck, faster please daddy. Feels so… mhnnn… feels so good” You pant out, hips rising to meet his.

“With pleasure sweetheart.” His hands move to grip your hips bruisingly tight. As he increases the pace, you feel his balls slapping against your ass, the room is filled with all sorts of obscene, wet sounds. 

You twist your hand into his curls, gazing up at his rosy face, sweat dripping from his brow, eyes blown wide with lust. When you give a little tug on his hair, he lets out a deep, rumbling moan.

He hooks his arms beneath your legs pulling them up over his shoulders sinking into you deeper with this new angle, “You like being filled up, sweetheart? Feel so good when daddy’s deep in you? You gonna let me cum buried inside you?”

“Please… god yes, want it so bad daddy, want you to fill me up with your cum.”

He brings a hand up to your chin, thumb sliding over it ‘til it rests on your bottom lip as you whimper beneath him, he eases his thumb between your lips and you suck on it mindlessly.

“You’re gonna take everything I give you right?”

You nod, mumbling around his thumb in agreement.

“Then open.” He forces your jaw down with his thumb, you look up at him a little confused.

Suddenly he spits in your mouth, ramming his cock into you at the same time, you whimper.

“Now swallow.” He demands and you do so, your saliva mixing with his as it slides down your throat and your walls flex around him of their own accord.

“Oh, you liked that did you?”

“Y-yes daddy.”

“Oh, you’re such a good girl for me. You do like it hard, don’t you? Gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk.”

“Please… fuck, please gonna cum again.”

“Then cum for me. Squeeze on my dick, lemme feel it. Cum for daddy.”

You wail, chanting “Daddy, daddy, daddy… fuck ‘m cumming.” Your back arches, head thrown back gasping as you clamp down around him, your release running over his cock in rivulets and he continues to pound into you, fucking you through your orgasm. 

You fall back limply still spasming around him when he reaches his peak, he growls, “Yeah that’s it princess, you’re gonna take all my fucking cum… take everything daddy gives you.”

He empties his heavy balls deep inside you with a deep, strung-out groan, you can feel his warm seed flood your cunt, drenching your already slick channel.

He collapses on top of you, sweaty bodies pressed together and he tries to nuzzle in even closer.

“God, that was good sweetheart.” He pants in your ear.

“Yeah.” You mumble in agreement running a hand over his back tracing random patterns.

He sighs and you feel his breath against your cheek while his cock softens slowly slipping out of you. You can feel your combined fluids leaking out of your entrance slipping down between your ass to pool on your bed. 

Eddie rolls off of you wandering off naked, when he returns, he’s cleaned himself off, approaching you carrying a warm, damp cloth, he runs it over your body soothingly, between your legs cleaning you off. 

He stoops down untangling his boxers from his jeans slipping them on as he moves to your wardrobe rifling around til he finds some pyjamas. He helps you into them gently and wraps the covers around you and turns out the lights before slotting himself in behind you. He presses a kiss to your shoulder and wraps his arms around you with a sigh.

You melt into his embrace and he wishes you sweet dreams, you return the sentiment. The pair of you doze off smiling contentedly in your post-orgasm bliss.

Eddie wakes in very early hours of the morning, still happy and content, girl of his dreams wrapped up in his arms. His thoughts turn sour as he lays there, the demons in his head tormenting him…

Jesus Christ what have you done, that was her first time you fucking pig… you told her to call you ‘daddy’ what is wrong with you… fucking freak… shit that’s what everyone’s gonna think the freak and the fatty, both of you together that’ll send them all into a frenzy and her oh, she’ll never hear the end of it, do you really think she deserves that… do you think you deserve to be happy…

And he’s slipping out from under the covers shrouded in his shame, careful not to rouse you he dresses and collects his belongings. He pauses briefly before pocketing your panties, one last little souvenir. Sick pervert. He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts before taking off into the early dawn.

You wake up a few hours later, sore, mumbling his name, hands searching for his warmth only to come up with nothing. Eyes snapping open you look around in confusion, you find that all of his belongings are gone all evidence that he was even here gone. 

He’d be back, for sure he’d be back. Why would he leave…? But he doesn’t come back, doesn’t answer any of your calls. This continues for the rest of the weekend, you convince yourself it’ll be different when you get to school.

Monday rolls around, your stomach twists into knots, did he regret it, wake up next to you with a sudden clarity, no longer horny or high and realise he didn’t actually want someone who looked like you. Or maybe he was just worried what other people would think if he dated someone like you… good enough to fuck, but not good enough to keep around. 

You can’t believe that you’d let yourself believe that it could be something more for even a second. Tears sting your eyes and you swipe them away angrily, you huff sulking off into the bathroom, don’t be so fucking dumb, of course he wouldn’t want you just deal with it. You splash cold water over your face and take a few deep breaths to steady yourself.

 You end up late for homeroom, only just entering the room as the teacher calls your name. Eddie isn’t sitting in his usual seat, instead he’s sat beside Gareth chatting away about something to do with the band and their show tomorrow night.

He doesn’t look at you as you pass him, you slink off to the last available seats, it’s fine, it’s fine… more tears threaten to slip out but you bite them back.

He avoids you for the rest of the day, you don’t even see him at lunch, but then you pass him on your way out of the cafeteria, you call out to him, “Hey, Eddie there you are I’ve been looking for you all day.”

But he walks right passed you, blank-faced, staring straight passed you. It’s like a knife to your heart, your frozen can’t move, can’t speak, the tears you’ve been fighting all day spill out. Someone bumps into your shoulder and of course it has to be them, “Watch it fatass.” 

And there’s giggles as they walk on you can hear them saying to one another, “She was fucking crying did you see her, what a fucking loser… not even the freak wants to be seen with her now.”

That’s the final straw, you don’t even bother collecting your stuff from your locker you just… leave. You walk all the way home blindly, the tears stoped at some point leaving your eyes puffy and stinging, your nails dig into your palms leaving little half-moon impressions.

You let yourself in trudging to your room, stripping off your clothes and pulling on anything that’s nearby before crawling into bed burying yourself beneath the covers.

Your mum wakes you when she gets home, you brush her off telling her you’re not feeling well, trying to pass it off as really bad period cramps. You tell her you might not go in to school tomorrow, she offers to bring you something to eat and a hot water bottle you nod mutely, you don’t really feel like talking much.

 You spend the next few days like that in a haze, numb to the world but acutely aware of the stabbing pain in your chest and the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. By the fourth day Nancy stops by to check on you, it’s not like you to miss so many days of school, let alone walk out in the middle of the day.

She enters your room tentatively calling out to you, she sits on the edge of your bed as you groan from your cocoon of blankets.

“You wanna tell me what happened?”

You give a little grunt, she brushes your greasy hair behind your ear gently, “Want a hug?” She offers.

“No, ‘m all gross.” You mumble pulling your self to sit up at the very least, but then the tears flow anew, that’s exactly why he doesn’t want you… fat, ugly, gross, loser… every insult ever hurled at you streams through your brain.

Nancy wraps her arms around you despite your attempts to push her away.

“You know I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong. Your mum said you haven’t been eating properly, won’t come out of your room, i haven’t seen you like this since… well in a really long time.”

You breathe in shakily trying to stem the flow of tears, “I’m a fucking idiot that’s what’s wrong.”

“Hey, hey that’s not true, tell me what actually happened.”

You shake your head pushing away from her, “Can’t.”

“Tough ‘cause I’m not leaving ‘til you do.” She folds her arms over her chest giving you a determined look.

“Well, be prepared to stay a while then.”

“Don’t be stubborn.” She chides.

“You don’t be stubborn.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“Fine, Ugh fine…”

“Go on I’m listening.”

“He doesn’t want me, doesn’t want anything to do with me now.” You can’t bring yourself to look at her while you speak.

“Who’re you talking about?”

“Eddie.”

“That’s not possible, that guy looks at you like you hung the moon. What happened? Did you tell him how you feel or…”

“No… well yes, but… ok, so he came over Friday night. You know how my parents went away?” She nods as you continue, “So, I asked him what it was like to smoke weed, like we always smoke together when we’re at his place, but never that and he was showing me how to roll a joint and god he looked so hot and I made some dumb joke about wanting it ‘hard and fast’ and he kissed me and told me he had a crush on me and I told him as well… and one thing kinda led to another and we ended up having sex and…” you trail off uncertain of how much detail is too much detail.

“None of that sounds bad so far, where did you get the idea that he doesn’t want you if he’s already slept with you.”

“When I woke up in the morning… after… he was gone, he didn’t answer any of my calls the whole weekend but I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt… I dunno, whatever. Anyway then at school on Monday he acted like I didn’t even exist, walked right passed me and they had to see it, had to comment on it.”

You hazard a glance at her and you can practically see the steam billowing out from her ears, “I’m sorry he what?!”

“I just I don’t wanna talk about it anymore, the year’s almost over and just like before he’ll be disappearing from my life again… this time just a little sooner than planned.”

“I’m gonna talk to him.” She says firmly.

“What? No! Nance don’t… please don’t… promise me you won’t.”

“I…” she falters at the look in your eye, “Alright, fine I won’t.”

You shoot her a stern look, “Really, I promise I won’t.” She insist.

“I mean it don’t.” You finish firmly.

“Ok… have you eaten today? What did you have?”

“I did, I had tea and crackers.”

“Is that it? All day that’s all you had?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s not like I’m doing anything today other than wallowing in bed and it’s not as if I’ll starve to death.”

“You know starving yourself is just as bad as overeating, neither of which is going to help you right now. Come on get out of bed go have a shower, I’ll make you something to eat and we can watch a movie… we haven’t had a girl’s night in a while you know.”

 You give in to her pestering and it does help to take your mind off things for a bit. She makes you promise that she’ll see you up and about next week.

Nancy doesn’t break her promise at first, not exactly but she does go straight to Steve right after your little ‘girl’s night’.

“You want me to what?”

She rolls her eyes, “Oh, relax it’s not that big a deal just talk to the guy.”

“Why me? If it’s not such a big deal you talk to him.”

“I told you I promised y/n I wouldn’t so I’m not.”

“Still don’t get why it has to be me.” He grumbles.

“What are you scared of him or something?” She teases.

“No! It’s just weird you want me to talk to him about his sex life, c’mon that’s weird.”

“Hey, y/n is your friend too and she’s really hurting right now, just talk to the guy.”

“Why couldn’t it be one of those Hellfire guys instead?”

“Well, I don’t really know them, I know you… but I guess we could talk to them too. Maybe they could help, we can ask Mike where to find them.”

 That’s how they find themselves grouped together with a couple of the guys from Hellfire Club, on Eddie Munson’s front porch. Nancy knocks on the front door and Eddie tumbles out to greet them “Wheeler? Harrington? The fuck are you two doing here?”

He spots Gareth and Jeff just behind them, “Emerson… what the fuck is going on?”

Nancy pokes him in the chest angrily, “Inside. Now, Munson.”

He holds up his hands in surrender stumbling backwards inside the trailer.

When everyone is inside, he tries again, “Right, so is anyone gonna fill me in here? What the fuck is going on?”

The boys let her go off on her tirade, her promise to you forgotten amidst her anger, “Don’t play dumb Munson, we’re here about what happened with y/n.”

“Shit… yeah I know I took things too far but tell her it’s ok, I’ll stay away from now on.”

“That is exactly the problem, why are you staying away?”

“Just imagine what people would say about us, the freak and the fatty…”

Gareth speaks up taken aback, “What the fuck man since when do you call her that?”

Eddie sighs “I don’t, it’s just what people would say and she doesn’t deserve that, she doesn’t need people judging her and they would if we were together. Why would anyone want to be seen with the freak nah she doesn’t need that.”

“Since when has that stopped her before, she’s with you all the time?” Jeff counters.

“Yeah, but that’s different it’ll be so much worse for her if we’re dating, this is for her own good, she’d be better off without me all together.” He protests with a tone of finality.

“Shouldn’t you let her decide that for herself? You don’t think you’re hurting her right now… acting like this. Imagine what she’s feeling, what she’s thinking. She’s alone in her room, hasn’t left for days, hasn’t been eating, torturing herself over why you’d do this.” Nancy attempts to reason with him.

Reality comes crashing down around him as he realises what he’s done, “Oh fuck I’m… shit I’m a fucking asshole. I let my own fucking insecurities get to me I didn’t stop to think how she’d feel, how she’d see it… fuck, fuck, fuck.” He paces back and forth tugging on his curls anxiously. His head snaps up, locking on to Nancy, “What do I do… what can I do?”

Steve speaks up for the first time, side-eyeing Nancy as he does so, “You fucking apologise man, take her flowers, beg for her forgiveness… whatever it takes.”

“Right… right.” He mutters to himself before his head pops up again, “You guys uh wanna like leave, or…?”

“Yeah, we’ll go.” Steve replies leading the way out of the trailer.

Nancy lets the other two go first before turning back to Eddie, “You fix this Munson… and I was never here, ok?”

He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, “Uhh… yeah ok.”

He stands beneath your bedroom window tossing rocks at it til one connects. You peek your head out at the noise and see him standing there, arms laden with flowers and candy. You don’t quite trust yourself to speak first so you stare down at him expectantly.

He finally breaks the silence, “Can I come in? We gotta talk.”

Your despair solidifies into bitter anger, “Oh, now you wanna talk… fuck off.”

“Please… please just hear me out.” He calls back desperately.

“Why the fuck should I? I gave you so many chances, why now?”

“I’m a fucking idiot, I know that and I’m sorry I’m so so sorry. Please just let me in, let me explain and then I’ll go if you want, I promise.”

“Alright, fine. You better make it quick though… you know the way in. Come up.” You slip back into your room slamming the window shut.

He takes the stairs in leaps and bounds when he gets inside, hesitating outside your bedroom before steeling himself and opening the door.

The second he steps inside it’s like all moisture is wicked away from his mouth he stands there for a moment in silence. You prompt him to begin, “Well? You gonna actually speak or-”

He blurts out, “I love you…”

You roll your eyes, scoffing, “Yeah, sure you fucking do… not falling for that one again.”

He persists, “I’m really, really, really sorry, you have no idea. I uh got these for you.” He thrusts out the flowers and a box of candy in your direction.

You eye them sceptically, snarling, “And what some flowers and chocolates are gonna make me just fall right into bed with you again… ‘daddy’?”

“I never should have… I took things way too far for your first time I am so fucking sorry. I really do love you though.” He says in earnest.

Your voice cracks, “Why did you leave? Why do you always fucking leave me?”

“Because I was a dumb fucking piece of shit too wrapped up in my own insecurities… thinking I don’t deserve you, don’t deserve happiness… worried about what people would think of you if you were dating me, the things they’d say…thought you’d be better off without me.”

“It’s not on you to make decisions like that for me, you ass. The things people would say about me because I’m dating you… fuck that’d just fly right over my head ‘cause I’d be with you. And that shit about you not deserving happiness is just that, absolute shit… of course you deserve happiness. And by doing this you deprived both of us of a chance at happiness.”

“Is… is it too late… can I… can we try again?” He stutters out hopefully.

Your resolve slips, “You really hurt me Munson…”

His face falls, “I know, I’m so sorry… and I will spend the rest of my fucking life making it up to you if… if you’d let me?”

“It… it wasn’t too far you know, umm I actually really liked it… all of it.”

His eyes search your own desperately, “Does that mean…?”

“Yes Eddie, it means we can try again.”

His face lights up and he drops the flowers and the candy onto your bed, he moves towards you but stops suddenly, “Can… can I kiss you?”

You give a small nod and he dives in kissing you slowly, deeply, with purpose. He pulls away and asks breathily, “Can I stay the night?”

“Don’t push your luck.” You warn.

He gasps, “No! Not… not like that… I mean not that I wouldn’t want that, but… I mean, just let me sleep here, that’s it just sleep, cuddle a bit. Then in the morning I’ll show you how it should have gone the first time, like this past week never happened.”

“O-ok, yeah we can do that.”

“Thank you.” He hums pulling you against him, nuzzling into your neck.

And true to his word that is all you do that night, falling asleep wrapped up in one another, peacefully. He wakes you in the morning with a sweet kiss, he says he’d offer to make you breakfast but the best he could do is cereal so he takes you out to the diner instead.

When you tell Nancy what happened she doesn’t seem too surprised, “Good I’m glad the two of you worked that out, I’m happy for you really… but if he ever does anything like that again you tell me straight away. I’ll sort him right out.”

You shoot her a suspicious look, “Nance, did you talk to him?”

“What? No! No, I promised I wouldn’t… it was Steve and a couple of your Hellfire friends I swear.”

“Uh huh and how did they know about it?” You probe.

She folds easily, “Alright fine I talked to him, I’m sorry but-”

“No, it’s fine. Actually, I’m glad you did, thank you.”

“No problem… so, now can we talk about it… what’s he like in the bedroom?”

You gasp mock scandalised, “Nancy Wheeler, how dare you…” you can’t maintain it for long and burst into giggles, “He is gooood I’ll say that much, very generous in every sense of the word.”

She raises a brow, “You mean…” and indicates size with her hands.

You nod “Oh, boy do I, and he knows what to do with it.”

She chuckles at your response, you ask about her, “How’re you and Jonathan?”

“Good, we’re good…”

The two of you chat long into the night, you’re glad of a friend like her, glad she stepped in when she did else who knows how things could’ve gone.

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #dom!eddie x sub!reader #dom!eddie #perv!eddie #perv!eddie x reader #eddie x virgin!reader #plus size!reader #eddie x plus size reader #eddie x plussize!reader #insecure!eddie #insecure!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x y/n #request #request fill #harringtonfan4 #cw body image #fatphobia

[cosmicpearlz]

love is complicated

summary: you express your feelings/concerns to your boyfriend and it seems like he doesn’t actually hear you out.

pairing: percy hynes white x reader

a/n: had a request from @mirukkuvanilla about doing an insecure!reader and i just ran with it lol. (i hope this was to your expectations!)

…………………………………………………………………………….

“hey baby, you want to go with me to the party?” oh great, another night of his friends looking at you like you didn’t belong. totally worth it.

you turned your head to him to meet his eyes from the couch you sat on, “um yeah sure.” percy smiles and shuffles to kiss your temple. it almost makes you feel bad for feeling this way. if he was happy, why couldn’t you continue to be happy?

“awesome, get ready! we leave in about twenty minutes.” you rested your head into your hands hearing his footsteps walk away from you. it hadn’t always been this way but somewhere along the way his friends had been giving you the cold shoulder. you had a gut feeling that it was mainly because you weren’t famous like them. maybe if you were, things would be different.

the uber drive to emma’s house wasn’t that far but still a good distance. percy was practically buzzing being that this was the first time in a while that everyone was able to be together due to scheduling. meanwhile, you felt like you were dying.

“ah percy you made it!” hunter said opening the door for you guys then his eyes gaze over to you, “and you brought y/n.” all you could mange to do was an awkward wave and a small smile. this was definitely going to be a shitty night and you could tell.

once walking fully in, everyone jumps to greet percy. you were spared only a short hello and that was it. it’s almost as if they wanted you to know that you weren’t welcomed, only tolerated for the sake of their friend. you stood by the door silently while your boyfriend was immediately dragged into conversations.

“y/n! oh my, i haven’t seen you a while. how are you?” emma squeals pulling you into a warm friendly hug. she was the only one out of the whole group that didn’t change on you.

“i’m doing okay. how are you? i seen that you’re working on a new movie.”

“yes! i’m doing well and the movie is going good. i really like the script.”

“that’s good! i’m glad you’re enjoying it and can’t wait to see it. i know you’re gonna be amazing.”

emma lays her hand on her heart in thanks for your kind words, “let’s get you a drink, yeah?”

-

a few drinks later and you felt even worse then before. you were ignored pretty much the whole night, only talked to here and there. you could feel yourself fuming by the second. standing up quietly, you walked to your boyfriend who was resting his back on the wall. you motioned him to lean down so that your lips could meet his ear to hear you better over the music.

“can we go?”

“go where?”

“home percy. i want to go home.”

“what, why?” you huffed crossing your arms and looking away from him.

“excuse us for a minute,” percy nods to the people he was talking to and grabbed your hand. he leads you to one of the spare rooms upstairs and closed the door.

“okay, what’s this about? why do you want to leave.”

“why are you questioning me?” you could tell that he was getting frustrated at this point but you couldn’t find it in you to care.

“just answer the question.”

“i’m obviously not welcomed here and your friends for some reason don’t like me anymore. i don’t want to be here where i’m not wanted,” your body felt on fire. you never brought it up for the simple fact that you didn’t want to come between him and his friends. they were there long before you were.

“c’mon that’s such a stretch baby. they like you for sure,” he places his hands on your arms in attempt to console you. pushing his hands away, you take a step back.

“percy they don’t like me. why can’t you see that? m-maybe they did before but not anymore. only emma really takes the time to talk to me.”

“you’re being delusional.”

“delusional?” you take a second to breathe before you continued, “percy open your fucking eyes!”

“explain it to me then! baby, i can’t help you if you don’t let me.”

“you don’t see how they look at me. they clearly don’t think i belong with you and i’m sure it’s because i’m not famous like you guys.” percy felt his anger raising and was offended.

“you’re being crazy,” he scuffed shaking his head.

“stop calling me crazy!”

within seconds it turned into a screaming match. one trying to out yell the other. of course, you guys had fights before but nothing ever like this.

“you’re just being insecure at this point. get over yourself!”

“so what if i am!” you eyes started to water but you refused to let him see you cry over this, “what if i am insecure, huh? for months i felt like i wasn’t good enough to date you simply because i’m not like you. months that i held in every time your friends ignored my entire existence and pretended that i wasn’t feeling shitty. months that i sat by and watched fans ship you with other famous people. months percy!”

“so this is all about being public? seriously y/n, i expected way better from you.”

“it’s not about being public idiot. it’s about not feeling enough when i try so fucking hard!”

“so what if fans ship me with other famous people. big deal.”

“percy, it’s a huge deal! as your girlfriend, i feel as if i’m not being heard.” your voice was cracking the more you went on, “you’re invaliding my feelings and don’t even realize it.” he puts his head down tired of yelling.

“if i was dating another celebrity, this stupid shit wouldn’t be happening,” percy muttered under his breath but you heard it clear as day. sticking your bottom lip between your teeth and nodding your head. the tears officially came streaming down your face and your heart felt as if it was tore out.

“well don’t let me stand in the way of that. goodbye percy,” you rush pass him in a hurry to leave. the saltiness of the tears were worse the more you walked downstairs.

“wait baby, fuck i didn’t mean it!” his feet guiding him to follow you quickly.

“if you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it. leave me the fuck alone.” you could see his friends silently watching the scene unfold. the music was turned down lower too. likely, they heard everything which was more embarrassing. you sarcastically chuckled to yourself with more tears running.

“at least i won’t bother you guys with my presence anymore. happy?” you made sure to look at the whole circle before walking out the door completely.

“sweetheart please!” the minute that percy had finally got outside, you were gone. it seemed like luck was on your side because when you ordered the uber, it came in under a minute. he sinks to the grass with the realization that you were gone. and probably for good.

“fuck fuck fuck!”

“percy?” the boy couldn’t bother to look at emma who standing near him. couldn’t bother to notice how some of his friends were standing at the doorway feeling slightly guilty.

“she’s gone. she’s gone and it’s all my fault,” the boy sobs into his hands. his body shaking with regret for hurting you. for not listening and definitely not seeing the signs that lead up to this moment.

emma lowers herself to the ground to wrap her arms around him. she had never seen her friend so broken and she was hurt for the both of you. percy continues to sob into her shoulder.

“it’s my fault. it’s my fault em.”

-

it’s been about two weeks and percy still felt empty. the love his life left and there was nobody to blame but himself. why couldn’t he see the silent signs you were showing? why couldn’t he just listen to you that night? he swears that he’ll never forget the image of your heartbroken face. he was supposed to be the one drying your tears and here he was actually causing them.

he had tried contacting you by phone number, email, different social media dms but it was radio silent. tried going to your closes friends, seeing if they’ll talk but all he got was a door slam to the face. he was desperate to talk to you and reassure you that he was just angry. but that wouldn’t help because anger is not an excuse to talk to your loved one that way.

“okay percy, i love you dearly mate but you gotta stop mopping about,” georgie calls out to his friend. the boy also felt lost seeing as he was part of the reason too.

“i can’t.”

“yes you can.”

“i ignored the way you guys were treating her. i didn’t even know and it’s too late,” percy whispered feeling as if he talked any louder more memories of that night will continue to play in his head. georgie sighed and took a seat next to him on the other beanbag close to percy.

“i’m sorry. as your best friend, i felt that i was trying to protect your heart from her. but she wouldn’t even think about hurting you like that. now that i think of it, she never once even asked to be public and that shows a lot. i’m sorry that we didn’t give her a proper chance.”

“i get it but at the same time it was my own heart to protect. you guys could’ve talked to me and i would’ve told you all how much she’s loving. how much she means to me. y/n is my everything and i let that go over anger. i didn’t want to believe her and didn’t even think about taking it into consideration.”

“you should talk to her.”

“georgie, she didn’t even answer. she’s done with me.”

“just try again, yeah? but do it in person.”

-

percy knew exactly where to find you, you were at your parents house. when you guys moved in together, he learned quickly that you’ll go to their house if both of you needed to cool down. this was the last chance he had. he drives so fast that he almost crashed but he needed his lover back. once making it to the house, he gets out and starts pacing. what if you really were done? what if you slammed the door in his face? without another beat to miss, he knocks anxiously on the door.

“hi percy, was wondering when you were going to show up. she’s in her old room,” your mom steps to the side and let’s him enter.

she grabs his forearm, “make this right. i know you too love each other. don’t forget that.” percy nods his head and continues his walk to your room. with every step he took, he felt his heart beating faster. facing the door, he knocks softly.

“come in!” this was the first time he heard your voice in two week and his eyes start watering but he held it together. he walks into the door and his immediately meets yours. you saw your happy smile drop and watched you look away.

“what are you doing here?”

“i came to apologize. really apologize.” there’s a pregnant pause thinking if you really wanted to let him speak to you. but you knew that it was only hurting the both of you, if you didn’t actually talk it out.

“okay. close the door though.” percy nods and closes the door. he then leans on it because he was afraid of coming closer. he didn’t want to invade your space and make you uncomfortable. you had seen this and patted the spot next to you on the bed. with a small smile he complies and sat down still not sitting too close just in cause.

“sweetheart i’m sorry. i’m sorry i didn’t see those signs or the way my friends were treating you. i didn’t mean what i said and your feelings are not stupid. your feelings are completely valid. i wasn’t hearing you out that night but i’m listening now.” you sighed and looked up at him fiddling with your fingers.

“perc you really hurt me. imagine my surprise when my boyfriend who i’m so in love didn’t want to hear about how insecure i was. you crushed me saying that dating another celebrity, you wouldn’t have to deal with this.” he shuffles closer and hesitantly grabs one of your hands. you interlock your fingers together missing this warm feeling you got from him.

“baby i swear i didn’t mean it. i talked out of anger and i know that’s not an excuse. god, i could never replace you. there is nobody that i want to be with more than you.”

“how do you know that?” you felt a stray tear fall onto your cheek.

“i know because i’m madly in love with you. i know because there’s never gonna be someone that cares for me the way that you do. baby you have left your mark on my heart that can’t be undone,” he takes his free hand to wipe away your tears.

“i love you too percy. i don’t know if i really can forgive you fully,” percy drops his head and bites his lower lip. it was his fault that he was going to lose you right now.

“i fully respect that. i’m sorry and i know you deserve better,” he goes to stand up but you quickly get a hold on his wrist.

you couldn’t really hold back your smile, “you didn’t let me finish silly. i was going to say i’m willing to try and forgive you but it’s going to take some time.” percy smiles with tears falling down his face as well.

“take all the time you need. i’m in it for the long run,” he wraps his arms around you and places a kiss on your forehead. you nuzzled into his chest feeling more of that warmness he radiates.

“i missed you so much love,” you squeezed him a little tighter and began to sway you both back and forth.

“i missed you more than you know honey. more than you know.”



#percy hynes white x reader #insecure!reader #percy hynes white #percy hynes white angst #percy hynes white fluff

[wordsbymae]

MINORS DNI

Title: The Outlaw King

Pairing: Male OC x female!reader

Summary: Reader is the daughter of a struggling noble who in an attempt to save the prospects of his family begins marrying off his daughters, he is successful for the most part, until his youngest remains. Viewed as lesser compared to her sisters in her appearance, the reader is left without any suitors. Until her father is forced to marry her off to an outlaw.

TW: Female reader, insecure thoughts, chubby!reader, midsized!reader, she's got boobs, reader herself doesn't act insecure but she would be described as insecure yes. Older sisters say cruel things without thinking of consequences, discussion of weight gain and loss, reader is seen to be not as attractive as her sisters, starving oneself is brought up, and the outlaw is a bit vulgar (he likes something to grab) and is accidentally cruel (he doesn't mean to be, he's just an idiot and a man). Reader is insulted by her sister.

NSFW: swear words, vulgar descriptions of sex, he's just horny for reader, I didn't try smut cause I suck at it, but I might try it in a separate fic, the word whore is used (sex workers deserve respect, I'm using it as a historical term), groping, smacking ass, discussions of non/con (it does not happen), implied consensual sex or as consensual l as arranged married sex with an outlaw can go.

If I have forgotten anything let me know!

Notes: Not gonna lie this is very much a vent fic. So it might seem a bit too specific for a reader's fic. There will be some triggering topics brought up so if any of the above is not your cup of tea please move along. Also please please please use your own discretion for this one, I would hate for my writing to reinforce insecurities in anyone or bring up bad thoughts about themselves. So once again please please please use discretion. No one is forcing you to read this.

Reader discretion is advised! Also, I hope I don't need to say this but I will just in case, I do not condone these sorts of actions!!! Or any actions in any of my work. This is pure fiction. Also, all my OCs and the reader are over the age of 18+.

Lots of love Mae xx

Alphabet

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"Are you sure you want to wear that dress?" your sister questioned, her mouth forming a tight grimace. Her ringed hands made their way to her tidy hips. Her dress was one of emerald green, its linen fabric delicately wrapped around her waist and cascaded down to the floor in waves. It was a beautiful dress and she looked like an angel in it. It had been your mother's. She had given it to you before she passed away, it hadn't fit you though, despite your late-night struggles to tame the fabric around your hips and breasts. You still remember trying to silence your tears as you nearly ripped the black silk ribbon designed to close the dress at the back. Your chest had been too big and the fabric too tight. So you had given up and gifted it to your sister. If the lands hadn't betrayed you maybe you could have asked a maid to take out some of the seems, but the famine meant you had no extra coins for silly things like thread.

"I thought it looked nice" you answered, voice soft and head bowed. Your hands had come up to your belly and they were currently pulling and twisting your fingers. Your dress was one of dull blue. It was a favourite of yours as it did not pinch your skin or constrict your breathing, nor did it leave marks around your arms where the seems dug into your soft flesh.

"It is dull and plain" your sister scoffed "how are you expected to catch the eye of a suitor if you look like that". she pushed past you towards your closet, ripping open the doors to find a more appropriate dress.

Her words left poison in your gut and tore at your heart. You had spent all morning twisting and curling your hair, putting dainty flowers in the braids. You had redone your rouge and kohl three times, to the point where tears of frustration nearly ruined everything anyway. You had thought you looked decent, maybe even pretty. But as soon as your older sister walked through the door, looking like Venus herself, you thought the flowers in your hair made you look childish and the kohl made you look tarty.

"It is important that we all look our best today. Papa invited nearly all the lords and their sons in the kingdom. Without our bride price, our people will suffer" she mindlessly rambled as she threw dress after dress from their home onto your bed. She had no need to remind you about the reasoning behind today's festivities. Your father's lands were the largest agricultural producer in the kingdom, but sickness had plagued the soil leaving the crop rotten. Without a harvest, your father was forced to buy crops from the other lords, but his coin was running low. In order to save his people from starvation until the famine resided, he was forced to marry you and your sisters off for your bride prices. Your father had cried bitter tears at the thought. He had no sons and you and your sisters were his everything. The only solace he had was his oldest daughter and her future betrothed would be the next lord and lady of the castle, allowing him at least one daughter to remain. You on the other hand, as the youngest, feared you may never see your father or sisters again once married. It was seldom a husband allowed his wife to travel away from her place by their side.

"Ah! This one, try this one!" your sister cheered, pushing a lilac dress into your arms. You recognised it immediately.

"Oh no, not this one" you stammered, already trying to push it back into her arms.

"What? Why not? Just put it on, the suitors shall be arriving soon" she snapped, her eyes looking at you with annoyance.

"I cannot" you stressed, begging her with your gaze.

"This is ridiculous. Put the dress on and be done with it." she insisted pushing you towards the changing stand

"It does not fit" you whispered, hoping she would leave and forget it all. She continued to push you.

"It does not fit!" you shouted, removing yourself from her grip. You turned towards her and watched as her eyes softened.

"It does not fit? Well, then I will tighten it more. Silly girl it is a simple fix" she comforted, her hands now gentle as she once more pushed you to the changing stand. Tears began to swell in your eyes as you allowed her to move you.

"It is too tight on me" you whimpered, your voice almost a whisper. Her hands, which had been softly undoing the laces of your dress suddenly stopped. You could feel the air shift.

"it is too tight?" She coldly asked, her hands gripping the laces. "Papa only gifted it to you last month! It fitted then! What have you done hm? Gouged yourself on the lager while others starve?" she hissed, her hands ripped away from you as she grabbed the dress in your hands. "Papa used coin that could have been better used elsewhere for you! For a silly dress that is as good as rags!" she roared, hands ripping and tearing at the fabric. You were sobbing now, watching as the pretty purple fabric was left tatted on the ground. When she was done, she looked at you with steely eyes. For a moment you thought she might hit you.

"Fine, stay in that tatty rag. Do not come crying to me when the men look past you" she sneered, leaving your room in a huff, slamming the door behind her. You fell to your knees as tears dragged black kohl down your cheeks. It felt like hours, but it had really been only a short few minutes before your father opened your door calling your name with cheer.

"Where are you my dear! My scouts have caught sight of the first Lord!"

His merriment was soon killed when he saw you on the ground.

"Oh, my love! Are you alright? What happened? No more tears now, that's a girl. Dry those eyes." he comforted, holding you in his arms as vengeful tears raced down your cheek. After a few moments, you choked out what had happened. A part of you thought that maybe he would punish your sister, reprimand her or, as a cruel part of you wished, banish her from the festivities. But your father loved you and your sisters equally, sometimes a little too much.

"I am sure she did not mean to. She is just worried because of the trouble that faces us. That is all." he explained patting you on the back.

"Come fix your eyes and I shall redo your laces and then let us meet the Lords, yes?" he cheered, helping you up to your feet.

After harshly scrubbing your face clean of the kohl and rouge and quickly putting some more on (only rouge this time, the kohl made you nervous), your father lead you down the corridors of the castle. You knew he was speaking to you about your sister, how he would ask her to apologise to you and that maybe your oldest sister (your favourite, she was rarely cruel) would gift you an old dress of hers (you knew it wouldn't fit either), but you drowned him out with dreams of what might come. Before this afternoon you had imagined that a nobleman would fall in love with you at first sight. That he would beg at your father's feet for your hand in marriage, that he would gift you flowers and jewels and you would discuss politics and arts. Now you imagined one of the noblemen scorning your sister, declaring her undesirable and a wretch, before he declaring his love for you and carrying you away while you laughed at your sister's misery. It was a cruel thought, yes, but it warmed you. You wished you could say you hated your sisters, but you still loved them, which is why it hurt so much when they made comments on your looks. Friening pity and worry, leaving giggles and snide looks your way. They were like sweet poison. You couldn't wait till distance made the heart fonder.

You and your father finally made it to the steps of the castle joining all four of your sisters. Your eldest sister gives you a smile, another a glance, and the other two, including the sister you wished would tumble down the stairs and fall flat in the mud, give each other a glance and then a giggle. Your father left you standing next to them as he made his way to your oldest sister, just in time for a bugle call and the thundering sound of horses racing through the castle square.

They have arrived.

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You wished they never came.

You had hoped for love at first sight. That you would catch a glimpse of a dashing man and you two would fall head over heels in love. That you would dance the night away in his arms and be announced his betrothed by morn. Then you wished that you would strike up a conversation with a lord, and you would discuss history and medicine and by the end of the night, you would be walking through the gardens with your arms intertwined. Then you just prayed one of them would talk to you. They favoured your sisters heavily, ignoring you in conversation to laugh at a quip your sister made or would speak over the top of you altogether. By the end of the night, you had drifted to the sides. Watching as your sisters danced in the arms of charming men you knew would be their husbands. Even your oldest sister had abandoned you. You had gone to her in the hopes she would comfort you, and she did. Until the middle son of a Southern Lord asked her for a dance, and then she was gone. She did promise to come back, but you watched as the two of them huddled together in the shadows. You were feeling miserable and jealous yes, but not enough to steal your darling sister away from a chance of happiness.

So instead you just hid in the shadows, counting the minutes until you could hide away in your room. It wasn't the first time something like this has happened. You had become used to being seen as the lesser sister during events and ceremonies. It wasn't like you were dull. In fact, you were intelligent, charming and funny, but when you were placed with your sisters it was like all that seeped away from you and you struggled to reach their level of grace and poise. Tonight hurt the most, however, because the survival of your people depended on you catching the eye of a suitor. Without all four bride prices, your father would not have enough coin to buy next season's shipment of food. Your people would starve otherwise. For the first time in your life, you actually started to believe the cruel comments your sisters would make. Maybe you really were undesirable? Maybe everything would be easier if you had your mother's face and not the rounded one of your father. You were failing your father and it was because of something so inherently you. There was nothing you could do to change it, it is who you are, and here a room full of men deemed it unworthy.

You had decided you were done. Nothing more to do but leave and hideaway in your room. You left quickly, struggling to hide the tears swelling in your eyes. Your father would come looking for you, maybe, but it was nothing an excuse of lightheadedness couldn't control. Once arriving in your room, you were quick to scrub the rouge from your cheeks and rip the flowers from your hair. With a screech, you threw them to the ground. You had spent a whole morning picking them. You were foolish to think they could elevate a face like yours. You then tore yourself from your dress and drove under the covers. Like every night since she passed, you wished your mother was here. Even though you knew she would just call your worries silly and ridiculous, or worse offer to help you fast. It often seemed like you were like a goose in a family of swans. While not harsh to the gaze, you were nothing in comparison to the other women in your family.

Crying yourself to sleep, you whispered over and over again that it wasn't fair.

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You watched as your sister waved at you from the window of the carriage before darting back inside. Your father beside you was cheering, with tears running down his rosy cheeks. Your oldest sister was linked in arms with her husband, both smiling and waving at the carriage as it disappeared from sight. Since the ball a week prior, all your sisters had been married. All their suitors declared their intent the morning after the festivities. A part of you had been hopeful, foolishly so, that maybe you had caught a suitor's eye. That they had just been too shy to approach you but had wanted you for their wife. You were terribly disappointed when no man stepped forward when your father called your name. It was humiliating too, watching as some men even took steps back. It broke the last bit of hope left in you. You had been terribly jealous, watching your sisters fawn over wedding dresses. You had just stood to the side, lightly touching scraps of silk that had been discarded on the floor. You had watched in envy during each separate wedding wishing that could be you, that someone wanted you enough to announce their loyalty to you. It made you sick to the stomach with the amount of guilt you felt feeling that way.

If you had been disappointed and miserable from the whole affair, your father was devastated. He was so close to saving his people, and yet he had failed. You remained by his side. He was torn between his love for you and relief that his youngest would not leave his side so soon but also shattered at the prospect of his people suffering. His once loving and kind attitude towards you suddenly became cold, and he often refused to look you in the eyes. He loved you, yes, but sometimes you think he blamed you. For what you weren't sure. Maybe for not at least trying on that lilac dress, or maybe not being as charming as your sisters were. A cruel and wicked part of you thought that maybe he blamed himself, for siring a creature like you.

He had since tried to discuss marriage with less favourable suitors. But the poorer lords could not afford the bride price he need and the older (much older) lords made you cry at his feet begging him to reconsider. He succumbed to your pleas. But at a price. He warned that if you continued to refuse his choice of suitors then by the last day of the month he would marry you to the next willing and able man who asked for your hand. And so your father declared to the whole kingdom your hand in marriage. That any man (noble or not) who could afford your bride price could come to his lands to ask for your hand. You had a condition of your own. They could not see you until the bride price was paid and you were lifting the veil in the church. You did not want to be humiliated any longer by shallow men. You were allowed to see them though, with you hiding behind your father's counsel room walls, peering through a hole created for your eyes.

So for the next week men viring for your hand arrived. You refused every single one. They were far too old, or far too young. They had had five wives previous and all had met a grisly fate by 'accidental drowning'. They kept asking your father what you looked like and made jokes about not wanting to be tricked into a marriage with a beast. Some seemed respectful and charming until they laughed at a poor serving girl tripping over their foot while your father was away from the room. One kept picking at his teeth, another had attrocious manners and sneezed all over your father. You refused all.

It was finally the last day of the month and your oldest sister was fusing over you. This whole affair made her fret, she had begged you to at least reconsider sending the last suitor away (the one who sneezed), but you were adamant, if not a little frightened. Maybe you should have lowered your standards. Maybe you should have given the sneezer a chance. At least before you had a choice, but now? Now it was whoever walked through the castle gates. You weren't hiding behind the wall today. It wasn't your choice. Instead, you and your sister took tea in the garden as you nervously wondered who your husband would be. Before everything had started, you had prayed for a charming, dashing, handsome man. But now you could only hope he was kind.

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Your husband-to-be was an outlaw. A rogue. A criminal and thief. Most definitely a murderer and only the Lord knew what else. To even think your father allowed this match brought tears to your eyes. But he had sworn that on the last day of the month, he would accept the first man to ask for your hand. You were sure he never thought it would be the infamous Outlaw King (why wasn't he just arrested or killed on sight? movie magic baby). He disgusted you, your betrothed, you had only seen him from afar, still refusing to let him see you until the wedding. But your sister had told you all. About how he waltzed into the castle and pushed past your father's guards to declare his intentions for your hand. He hadn't even asked! He had thrown the required price on your father's table and had only laughed at the sight of your father's wide eyes.

Your father could only nod his head and approve your betrothal. You remember your father meeting you in the gardens to tell you of your betrothed. Your sister had exploded into fury, while you had just sat still in shock. You had heard tales of him of course, an immoral and cunning man, leading a band of outlaws deep in the woods. He was said to be the bastard son of the King's brother. Left to fend for himself as a babe in the woods. That he was raised by a she-wolf and inherited her blood lust. He was handy with a knife and brutal with a sword. That every whore in the kingdom longed for his presence, for the gold and pleasure he provided. It was said he killed a man for just jesting he was as good with a sword as he was. He was a vile man and yet you were to be his wife. You had cried in your bed at the thought of him, of his vile hands touching you. Your sister had tried to console you but it was your duty to your people to marry him.

The day of the wedding left you frightened. You were worried about many things. What would become of you after your wedding? Of where you would live. Would you be expected to steal and rob like he does? Would you be classed as an outlaw too? all these thoughts helped distract you from the most worrying of all. What if he didn't like you? What if even a scoundrel like him didn't want you. Then you really would be a failure of a woman.

You don't remember much before the wedding, just your sister whispering in your ear about how to make it less painful, you hadn't been listening so you don't know what she was referring to. You remember your hands feeling the silk of your wedding dress as your sister laced the ribbon in front of the mirror. For a brief second, you thought you looked pretty. You also remember your father's grip on your arm as he walked you down the aisle before hesitantly passing you to the tall and stocky man in front of you. Tales of the Outlaw King will have you believe he was a lean figure with fair hair and blue eyes. A resemblance of the Prince he was supposed to be sired from. Instead, he was broad with deep brown eyes and dark scruffy hair. He had a wide cheerful grin and he looked far too excited for this sombre affair. He was so excited he didn't even wait for the priest to tell him to lift the veil, he just yanked it up and let out a low whistle at the sight of you.

"You sure are pretty huh" he grinned. A blush made its way up your cheeks and over your ears. It was the first time anyone had ever called you that. You could only stare at him before mumbling a thank you, you were raised to be polite after all, and then you turned towards the priest with palms sweaty. He spent the whole ceremony stealing glances at you and urging the priest to hurry up. Asking if all the formalities were necessary. The congregation was split between some being disgraced at his antics and others amused by his merriment, either in awe at his presence or his own men, shouting and hollering encouragement. However, when he pulled a knife on the priest when he tried to ask if anyone wanted to object, the guests all gave out a cry of hysteria, with only his men howling in joy. It was frightening to see the priest pushed up against the altar, your future husband's dagger at his throat. You gave a yelp at the sight and backed away slightly. You were reminded that he was not a nice man.

"You can skip that part father. Unless anyone has anything to say?" he joked cruelly, turning to the church with his arms open wide, dagger shining in the light of the sun beams through the windows. Your father looked like he was about to faint and your sister was being held back by her husband.

"No? Wonderful. Can we get this show on the road then father? I'm itching to be balls deep in my pretty lady by nightfall" he beamed putting his knife away. You yourself felt like you were about to faint. A heat rising from your stomach. You did not know if from disgust, fear or heaven forbid want. A cruel part of you whispered that maybe it was all a joke, a wicked ploy to have you believe he fancied you. But the look he gave you when he turned to smile at you, had those thoughts racing away. You could hear your sister hissing out curses, while your father groaned in defeat.

The priest, skipping a few steps, then declared you man and wife. You felt your husband's large hands grip your hips before dragging you to him, your chest bumping into his. He quickly brought you into a harsh kiss, his tongue prodding at your opening, you could only stand there still, your hands pressed tightly up against him. His hands made their way down to your arse before he gripped it tightly, a moan of satisfaction coming from your husband and a gasp from you. He took the opportunity to thrust his tongue inside. You could hear the cheers from his men and the polite, almost disgusted clapping of your guest. He tore himself away from you to turn to the congregation, giving out a howl of joy and throwing his hands to the heavens. His men went wild. Some began jumping up and down on the pews, while others began to slap the wooden material creating a deafening sound of thunder. One even had two swords in his hand, waving them around his head in joy. You had started to turn yourself to look at your father and sister but were stopped when your husband gripped your thighs to throw you over his shoulder with a yelp. He walked towards your family, you were in shock at it all and could only react with a squeal as he playfully smacked your bottom a few times. Stopping in front of your father and sister, you lifted yourself slightly up to meet their gaze.

"Don't you worry sir, I'll take real good care of her. Hell, next time we meet, there might be some ankle bitters running around" he laughed, giving a particularly hard slap to your arse. You gave a yelp and your father fell to his chair with a groan. Your sister was spitting curses, her husband desperately trying to hold her back from hitting your husband. Your husband only laughed with cruel mockery as he left your family, walking down the aisle into the fresh air of the world beyond.

You were plopped on the ground outside as dozens of wild cheering men pooled around you. Shouts of congratulations and well-dones were lifted into the air. Your husband was clapped on the back and brought into tight hugs. Every one of them had big smiles gracing their faces. Slowly they drifted away. You looked over their shoulders trying to find where the carriage was. Instead, a man leads a large bay stallion over to your husband. Your husband thanked him before turning to you.

“Up you go princess” he grunted, grabbing your waist and hauling you up on the saddle. You tried to get comfortable, but your dress pooled around you, making it hard for you to sit right or even see the stallion’s head. You turned to ask your husband if there was a carriage to take, but you were stopped by the sight of his hands tearing at your dress. You gave a shout of fear and using one leg you tried to kick him away. Instead, just grabbed it with one hand and ripped it with another. Scraps of silk lay forgotten on the muddy ground. His hand on your ankle was rough and warm, and it left tingles behind. After doing the other side as well, with you once again trying to kick in his teeth, your lower legs were bare. The removal of the excess fabric made it much easier for you to sit and you gave him a begrudging thank you. He just smiled at you and gripped your ankle tighter before running his hand up your skin, to your knee and diving it under the remainder of the dress before resting it on the meat of your thigh. He pawed at your soft flesh before giving you a smile.

“That’s alright princess” he cooed, before lifting himself up behind you. You tried to give him some more room, moving forward slightly. However, you were pulled back by his arm around your waist, leaving your arse pressed tight against his groin. You tried to move forward again but was once more pulled back.

“Come on sweet cheeks, don’t you wanna make your husband happy?” he sang, and you gave him a small hesitant nod. “Then sit that arse right here and let a man enjoy his wife’s company.” He teased, his mouth finding its way to your ear. He encouraged the horse forward, and he gave a groan as you were jolted back and your arse ground against him.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Just like that” he cooed. You could only blush and tense up, trying desperately to ignore his hardening member digging into you.

You turned your head to look for your family, finding them standing on the church steps. You gave a small wave and a little smile. Your eyes began to swell with tears as you watched your father fall to the ground in grief. His youngest taken by an outlaw. You turned around quickly not wanting to watch your father’s misery.

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"I saw you" he remarked, leading his horse into the forest.

You had been riding all day and you had yet to have a proper conversation with him. Instead, he would shout vulgar remarks to his men, telling them how desperate he was to sink into your warm cunt, or he would joke to them how the only reason he hadn’t torn the rest of your dress off and taken you roughly on the ground was that he didn’t want the sight of your soft, sweet flesh available to the dirty bastards. After each conversation and jest, he would give a laugh and then squeeze a portion of you. His favourite place to grab was your thigh. You would often be startled by his hand finding its way under your skirts, where it would run up and down before squeezing and finally leaving. The conversations and his touch left you breathless and terrified. You were sure this man would force himself on you and the idea of it left you shaking. After a vile comment made by him about how he would soon teach his pretty princess how to suck cock like a whore, which made you give out a sob of fear, he suddenly refused to joke with his men about you further. Even ordering one man to get off his horse and walk when he made a particular vulgar comment on how your breasts would look, bouncing on your husband’s cock. Since then, the group only spoke of other things, like robbing and killing. Your husband remained silent throughout. So, it shocked you when he remarked that he had seen you, his voice was much softer than you had previously known.

"Pardon?" you queried, slightly turning your head to him.

"The night of that big party you had. Me and the boys came to rob everyone blind, but then out popped you. You were wearing that bluey-looking dress, looking all pretty and shit. I liked the flowers in your hair, made you look real sweet. I guess you could say it was love at first sight. Couldn't rob everyone when I was thinking about you" he said, hand resting on his own hip and the other leading the horse over tree roots and rocks. You listened intently, thinking back to that night. Surely you would have seen an outlaw. You blushed at his words; a small smile fought its way to your lips. Until it was ripped down with his continuing story.  

"You ran off before I could nab ya, tried again a few more times during the week of all your sisters getting hitched. Kept just missing ya though. You were running this way and that, and sometimes you wouldn’t even leave the castle! I may be a fool in love but I’m not foolish to think I would be able to get past your guards and steal you away.” He chuckled as if he was relaying a funny little tale down at the pub. “But then your old man declared your hand free game! all it took was a little hard work robbing some rich fucks and next thing I knew we're getting hitched. My ma would be proud, I got you the honest way! who would have thought huh?" he beamed, giving you a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"you stole the money. And you still tried to kidnap me" you said in shock. Your eyes widened in disgust.

"so?" he questioned, he really saw no problem with his whole plan. Suddenly you turned a corner and in front of you was the Outlaw’s lair. It was remarkably put together. Houses and huts hidden under the canopy of the trees, some even in the branches of the tall trees, and bridges traveling throughout creating a roadway of planks and rope. It was amazing.

“Welcome home princess” he cheered, it did nothing to kill the fear inside of you.

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You listened to the continuing festivities outside the wooden walls. Your husband (whose name you still didn’t know) told you that his men would party into the wee hours of dawn. But your husband had other things on his mind than drinking, he had snatched you from the horse and carried you into his bed chambers, throwing you onto the bed. You had given a shriek of surprise and quickly sat up moving to the edge of the bed, just in time as he fell to the space where you once were. He gave a groan of frustration and lifted himself up to his elbows.

“Come here wife, I have dreamed of that sweet cunt since I first saw you. Let me finally have a taste for all my good work” he grunted before reaching for you. You jumped to your feet.

“I don’t even know your name!” you blurted out, thinking quickly about how to tame this man’s lust without touching him.

“Its Bingus” he remarked, face bored.

“Excuse me?” you asked, you weren’t one to judge but that name did not suit the man in front of you.

“Of course it isn't! It isn't exactly a name that inspires fear and respect” he chuckled as he also stood from the bed. You stood tense, standing close to the wall. He gave a sigh before answering your initial question.

“It's Alwyn,” he said as he slowly stepped towards you. He reached out with his hands, and you flinched slightly. He moved his hands up and down your arms, giving you slight comfort. “ Now that you know, I expect you to scream it loud enough to drown out those fuckers outside”

He grabbed your waist and lifted you up, placing you on the bed with him firmly on top. His body was in between your legs, and you tried desperately to push him off.

“Oh, you wound me sweet cheeks! All I want to do is show you my love!” he teased “and how can I not, with you laying in my bed looking like the prettiest whore there ever was"

You gave a cry of anger as your hand raced for his face. He easily grabbed your wrist and pushed your hand flat onto the bed next to your head.

"It's a compliment sweet cheeks! I mean it in a 'fucking hell my wife is so fucking hot, I'm about to blow my load just at the sight of her pretty tits' way." He consoled. “And what pretty tits they are. I mean look at them. I just want to bury my face in em” he groaned before doing exactly that. You felt his lips mouth at the skin of your cleavage, the rest hidden by your dress. The pleasure left you flustered, and you gave out a moan. He started to grind his pelvis against your clothed warmth. You could feel his hardening cock straining against his pants. But all the feelings, of pleasure, confusion, nervousness and insecurities overwhelmed you.

“Did you mean it?” you whimpered, grabbing his hair with your non-trapped hand, and pulling his face up.

“Mean what princess?” he cooed. Eyes and smile dopey with lust.

“Do you really think I’m pretty?”, you whispered, tears making their way to your eyes. He released your hand to gently hold your face.

“The prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in all my days” he soothed going in for a kiss.

“You aren’t just saying that right? Right?” you sniffed, turning your head for his kiss to fall flat on your cheek, he lifted his head with a groan. You needed to know. Needed to make sure he wasn’t just lying to you to get you to willingly give up your honour.

“Now why would you say something like that huh?” he probed.  You looked at him with teary eyes. Begging for him to leave it and forget it.

“Well? What got my pretty lady worried?” he implored.

“I just don’t believe you” you sniffled, a rogue tear traveling down your cheek before his thumb swiped it away.

“Don’t believe me? Sweetheart I would be a fool to not think you are the prettiest, most gorgeous being I’ve ever seen” he laughed, once more going for a kiss. Once more you turned your head, this time his mouth finding its way on the pillow, he gave a grunt of frustration.

“How can you think I’m beautiful when I look like me?” you whimpered, tears following quickly. His head snapped up quickly. His eyes darkened. His gaze was harsh, but his fingers on your face were soft. His thumb gently wiped away the offensive tears.

“Who told you otherwise?” he snarled, his face twisting into anger. But when your face turned to one of fear, his eyes softened, and his face became gentle.

“Who was it, sweetheart? You tell me and I’ll burn their fucking house down” his voice soft and soothing, his thumbs moving their way to your lips, tracing their outline. You hesitated. It wasn’t like anyone at had ever out rightly told you, you were ugly or unattractive. But it was what they hadn’t said. In the way your mother would call your sisters beautiful and gorgeous, then turn to you and say you liked nice, just nice. How only your sisters were ever praised for their tidy figures and easy-to-manage breasts by the dressmaker, while she only ever tsked and sighed measuring your hips and bust.  It was in the way you had always felt left out, never feeling like an equal, sometimes not even feeling like a sister. Instead of telling him all that you just gave him a shake of the head and a sniffle. After a few moments of silence, he relented, maybe later he would ask and then he would get to burn something. But right now, he needed to change tactics.

“You know…I’ve always had a thing for girls like you” he encouraged, leaving sweet kisses on your rounded cheeks and jaw, before looking down at you once more. You looked at him with inquisitive eyes.

“You’re so, so soft, and there’s so much to grab and fuck me but your thighs? Heaven. And these tits? the way they bounce when you walk? Fuck, it's enough for a man to blow a load at the very sight. And the way your arse jiggles? I just want to bend you over and fuck the daylight out of you” he moaned, kissing up and down your neck. You became flustered, the only thing you could do was listen and hold onto his shoulders as he continued his assault on your body. It was going so well too, you had started to think he really did see you as desirable, as someone worth loving. Until he opened his big stupid mouth again.

“So what you’re not as thin as your sisters or some other women? I like my women well fed and fuck sweetheart look at you! You’re as well fed as a heifer in spring!” he cheered, his eyes bright with joy and his mouth smiling wide. You on the other hand were frowning. Giving a cry of anger you pushed him off you and jumped from the bed. Angry tears began rolling down your cheeks as you looked for something to bash him with. Ah, a broom! Grabbing it you turned to swing it at him, Alwyn shouting in confusion and shock, only narrowing missing a stick to the face by leaping from the bed. You tried to swing at him again, but he grabbed the broom and pulled it forward, you along with it. He held you in his arms as you raged against him, sobs crying out.

“Hey! Hey! Come on princess, what now!” he exclaimed trying to soften the blows to his chest from your hands.

“It’s not fair!” you wailed, “It’s not fair!” Finally tired from all the excitement you slowed your assault, leaving you to sob into his chest, hands covering your face. You could feel his hands awkwardly rub your back. You hated him.

“What’s not fair?”  he whispered.

“It’s not fair they look the way they do, and I’m left looking like this” you choked, “it's not fair they are called as fair as a swan in flight or, or as pretty as a sunflower in summer or as beautiful as Venus herself. And I’m left to be compared to a heifer! A heifer!” you broke down into more bitter tears by the end of your rant. Your tears left damp splotches on his shirt. He deserved it.

“ A very pretty heifer” he encouraged, making you growl in anger and restart your war against his chest.

“Ok! Ok! You don’t want to be called a heifer! I get it!” he exclaimed grabbing your wrists together to stop you.

“But you are as pretty as a sunflower, or as beautiful as a goose” he soothed, hands resting on your hips and fingers rubbing small circles.

“Swan” you sniffed.

“Right. As beautiful as a swan” he took a pause, “I thought they were the same thing? Aren’t swans just baby geese?” he questioned, head tilting slightly to the right.

“No!” you giggled; tears forgotten as you smiled watching as his own grin made its way to his face.

“Right, okay, so swans are swans and geese are geese?” he asked, a large smile gracing his lips. You giggled as you nodded your head.

“Okay, I get it now.” He nodded. “I don’t like swans. They are too pretentious, with really fucking long necks and stupid-looking faces. I like geese better” he remarked.

“I thought you didn’t know what a swan was?” you smirked, tears now drying on your cheek.

“I didn’t, I thought swans shrunk as they got older to be geese” he replied, face one of pure glee. This left you laughing deeply, your head falling back and a massive smile on your face.

“There’s my pretty girl” Alwyn cooed, watching you with pure love in his eyes. “I don’t know who ever made you feel this way about yourself, but they were fucking idiots. I mean look at yourself. As beautiful and as radiant as the first morning rays over a snow-covered mountain” he soothed, leaving a light kiss on your lips. Tears welled in your eyes but this time of joy.

“You’re pretty good-looking yourself. One might say handsome” you shyly smiled. He gave a chuckle before answering.

“Oh I know I am sweetheart.” He teased. You brought your lips to his and brought his hands to your arse, allowing him to squeeze. A moan came from both of you. But you still at one more question. Slowly removing your lips and giggling as he pouted you stared at him for a moment.

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“When you said you fell in love with me?” you whispered, terrified you would break the spell between you two. Your fears dissipated as a dashing smile graced his charming face.

“I’m not a praying man, but I swear to any god that lives in heaven that it was the truth” he marvelled, hands resting once more on your hips, fingers falling into a familiar routine of small circles.

“I think I like you too” you softly spoke.

“Good to know princess.” He smirked, hands now rubbing up and down your sides  “So how about you spread those pretty thighs for me and I find heaven for us both?”

he really did get to be balls deep by nightfall

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Hey guys it's mae!

I just wanted to have a quick discussion about the above topics just cause I want to make myself clear. I completely and utterly understand that it is not healthy to expect your partner (if you can call what these two have a relationship) to 'fix' your insecurities, that is something only you can try and work on. And yeah I don't think anyone will ever be without insecurities and therefore it is natural for partners to help each other through that. But you have to make the first step, even if your partner is the one to encourage you. I wrote this because of personal reasons and as a way of venting (don't worry it's mainly the feeling of my situation rather than based on any particular events). I see this as a fantasy and thus it does not relate to expectations of reality, you guys should view it as such too. There is nothing wrong with fantasising about someone rushing in and 'rescuing' ( i put them in inverted commas because he legit kidnaps the reader) you but I think it's also important to view yourself as your own hero. If anyone is struggling with body image issues and insecurities feel free to dm me (just remind me to post it privately I forget) and we can have a chat. I am not a licenced professional or anything but I can send you in the right direction. I know what it's like being told your entire life you're not good enough looks-wise. Anyway! I just wanted to make that crystal clear cause I do see people idolising a partner with the sole purpose of fixing their insecurities without putting the work in themselves or even helping their partners with their own insecurities. Also, you don't need a partner to be happy! It can be achieved, but this one goes out to us lonely bitches who just want to slow dance with someone.

All the best,

Mae xx

#oc outlaw #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere drabble #oc #yandere prompts #dub con #female reader #vent fic #insecurity #insecure!reader #chubby!reader

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Emotional Support Himbo

Thor x plus size reader

Sometimes you have to be rough to get your point across

Warnings: extreme self-hate, rough sex, Thor is too big to take, fat-shamming, best friends to lovers, mention of therapists, not eating, depression, panic attack, Thor is a literal giant so… size kink, implied eating disorders, slight dub-con (no explicit consent), insecure!reader, reader is tied up with a belt, unprotected sex, implied violence, cut up clothes, assholes that make bets

WC: 4.1k

A/N: Take this poll to help me rewrite the MCU!

Minors DNI

You were practically vibrating with excitement as you bounded into your office. Today was the day. Today you were going to tell the man you were crushing on hard about your feelings. You had pumped yourself up for a week for this, doing constant affirmations, chatting to your therapist, even having your best friend hype you up on FaceTime this morning as you put on your best outfit.

“Good morning Dove!” Thor spoke up from your chair, a huge smile stretched across his handsome face. “Hi Goldie!” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before shoving him out of the leather seat, huge body landing on the carpet with a thump but his grin never faltered. You settled at the desk, booting up your computer to begin your work.

“You look beautiful today.” You waved him off. “Oh shush, you helped me pick this out, you’re just fishing for compliments.” He smirked, his icy eyes twinkling. “Well it looks better in person than through the small rectangular box.” “A phone Goldie, it’s called a phone.” you rolled your eyes, instead focussing on the vast number of reports you had to get through.

Being the head of Public Relations for the Avengers was tough to say the least but you get an incredible apartment, really good pay and the most amazing best friend in the world. Plus, somehow, the most attractive people ever worked in the tower. That is how you met TJ, an accountant on the same floor as you.

He was tall and blond and very very pretty. He liked video games and comics and he ate lunch with you every day. He made you laugh and gave you swarms of butterflies every time he smiled at you. So you made up your mind, you were going to take the leap today when you met up with him in the cafeteria. Thor had encouraged you to do it, saying that you deserved happiness and if ‘the small man who looks at numbers’ can give it to you, then why not.

“Are you nervous?” He laid his big head on your plump thigh, his bearded cheek scraping the soft skin beneath him that had been exposed by your skirt lifting slightly. “Yeah I am. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t like me like that?” Your fingers tightened in his long hair, your nerves getting the best of you. He shifted so he could make eye contact with you, his dark eyebrows furrowing. “He would be lucky to have you dove, anyone would.”

You sighed happily. “What would I do without you Goldie?” “Who knows.” He shrugged. With a quick peck to your forehead, he lumbered out of the room, leaving you to stew in your nerves and excitement.

——————

Thor was worried, to say the least. You hadn’t gone to work in nearly two days and he hadn’t heard from you in nearly that whole time, just a text saying ‘wish me luck’ a couple hours after he had last seen you. He hoped you needed space away from him with your new beau but the nagging feeling in the back of his head told him that wasn’t the case.

Your apartment was dark as he looked up to it from the street, which was quite unusual since you were very fond of those little colourful lights on strings that were nailed to the walls. He had been over many times for ‘movie nights’ or when you were ill so he knew where your spare key was and promptly used it to get in. 

“Dove?” He strained his ears for you, but didn’t hear anything. As he moved further in, his boot came into contact with something that made him trip. His hand slammed into the wall, his calloused palm flicking on the light switch. Your clothes were scattered around, huge slashes through them, like they had been cut. 

A deep unsettling feeling knotted in his gut. He was suddenly on high alert, what if someone had taken you? Hurt you? His jaw was set, his “umbrella” gripped tightly in his hand, blue eyes growing dark with fury. 

The final door creaked open, revealing a bedroom that was trashed, the ensuite door completely open already. There was a curled up figure in the shower, knees up to the chest, head resting on them. “Dove.” You looked up, spotting the god but looking away quickly. “Go away.” Your voice was broken and strained, obviously having been crying for a while. Thor barely noticed that you were completely naked, your skin covered in goosebumps, shivering violently.

He dropped the umbrella and strode over to you, big hands grabbing your shoulders in an attempt to pull you up. You thrashed violently. “Don’t touch me!” His grip just got tighter, fingers digging in painfully into your collarbone as he lifted you into his chest “Let go! Let go!” You were screaming now, he could practically hear your heartbeat in his ears, it was beating so loud.

“Dove, you need to calm down.” Your eyes were wild, frantically darting around, looking for an escape. One of Thor’s huge hands cupped the back of your head, forcing your face into the crook of his thick neck, your ear pressed firmly against his pulse. His free arm wrapped around your large body, squishing you to him as close as possible.

Your sobs were heartbreaking as you finally relaxed into him, desperately clutching at his henley, nails digging into his chest. But he didn’t let you go, just placed his chin on the top of your head, gently swaying you. His heart clenched as your sobs died, the exhaustion finally taking over. 

His hand that was on your back fell to your thighs, hoisting them up to wrap around his waist. You were so much smaller than him that he could easily hold you up, your entire body fitting against his torso. With soft steps, he carried you to the bed, kicking away the fabric that littered the floor to make a clear path to the bed. 

The god had never seen you like this. He knew you had your bad days, but this, this was beyond anything he could deal with. Your body was lowered onto the bed, whining with the loss of his body heat. Thor pulled the blue shirt over his head, quickly pulling it over your nude body, the hem falling halfway down your plump thighs.

Immediately, you buried your nose in the fabric, inhaling the scent of evergreens and rain. You hiccuped slightly like you were about to wake, making him freeze, big hands hovering over you but then you sighed and settled into the sheets, your breaths coming out evenly.

He worked slowly and methodically, gathering all the trash and destroyed clothes, stuffing them into garbage bags which he placed by the door. Keeping his ears strained for any movement you made. The gnawing in his gut continued to get worse as you slept. Something went horribly wrong, you wouldn’t shut down like this if that boy hadn’t simply rejected you.

He did something to you, something unforgivable. Lightning crackled around him as he worked, hundreds of scenarios ran through his mind, each one worse than the last. If he had his way, this boy would be dead for even thinking about breaking your heart. You had the most pure heart of anyone he had ever met in his centuries of life. You were kind, intelligent and caring. Not to mention the most beautiful creature he had set eyes upon, you were like some gift from the old gods. 

Thor loved you from the moment you met but he was content just being your friend, to have the privilege to be in your presence, to bask in your beauty. Just as he was finishing with the sweeping, the creaking of floorboards broke him from his thoughts. 

“Thor?” You were wrapped up in a big white blanket, face barely peeking out of the duna, eyes big and hazy. “Dove, how are you feeling?” Taking big steps forward, he pulled you back into his arms, resisting the urge to laugh as your fast smushed into the hard planes of his chest and you gave out a grumble. “You didn’t have to come here. I’m fine.”

His face hardened as he drew back from you. “I was worried about you and you are obviously not fine. Tell me what happened.” You turned away, refusing to meet those blues you knew all too well. “Nothing.” “It was not nothing.” You attempted to turn your body but he held fast. “Tell me and do not lie to me.”

His resolve was breaking as your eyes glazed over with more tears but he needed to know. “He told me the truth.” Thor’s chest rumbled with a deep growl. “And what truth is that.” It wasn’t even a question, it sounded more like a threat. “That I’m disgusting and ugly and fat, and-and- I don’t deserve to be loved. He was just being nice to me for a bet, get the fattest girl in the office to fall in love with him. He won $5, that’s all I’m worth.” 

“Dove, look at me.” Thor hooked a finger under your chin, guiding you up so you could look into his eyes. “You are beautiful and you are worth more than that. I have witnessed much but you are, by far, the most amazing person I have ever met.” You clenched your jaw tightly. “Stop lying to me.”

Over the course of your friendship, you both dealt with each other's insecurities. Temporary doubts in either of your worths were fixed with a night of self-care and assurances from each other. You trusted Thor entirely, just as he did for you, so you took his words to heart. Kind words and actions always worked before.

“I am not lying to you dove.” He cupped your cheek but you slapped his hand away. “Yes you are! I’m just this disgusting, fat pig. You’ve been lying to me this whole time! I’ve tried to be skinny, I just don’t have the willpower to do it. I’m so weak. I break every time.” “What are you talking about?”

“The truth!” You screamed in his face, lurching back so you broke out of his grip. “I want you to leave. If you can’t tell me the truth, you obviously aren’t my friend, you’ve never been my friend.” “Listen to me-“ “Leave!” 

“No.” He rolled his shoulders back, chest puffing out, eyes flashing brightly. “Leave Thor!” “No.” Your voice trembled. “P-please go.” “No.” Your eyes widened in shock as he grabbed you, throwing you over his shoulder, the blanket falling from your form. “Put me down!”

“I have spent too long watching you put yourself down. So it’s time for me to get it into that pretty little head of yours that you are perfect. No more stupid boys, no more starving yourself, no more hate. I’m going to fuck you stupid and then you’re going to listen to everything I say and you will believe it.” 

“Thor, what are you-“ You bounced on the mattress as he threw you down, and you scrambled back, attempting to get away from the angry god. You had never seen him this furious, his chest was heaving, a trail of dark blond hair and sweat leading down to a huge bulge pressing against the seam of his jeans that you couldn’t tear your eyes away from. The buckle to his belt clinked as he unbuckled it, pulling it through the denim loops and dropping it to the bed beside you.

You couldn’t move as his eyes locked on yours, it was hypnotic, the way his muscles flexed and the pure anger in his eyes. His pants sagged on his hips, exposing the dense patch of hair at the base of his cock. “I have spent too long trying to comfort you with soft words and actions but now, we do it my way. You will learn.” Finally, his pants slid down his muscular thighs, his huge cock springing up, knocking the breath from your lungs.

“You are mine.” He crawled up the bed, huge body looming over you. “This body is mine.” His lips brushed against your throat. “This cunt is mine.” You gasped as he cupped your pussy, the palm of his hand grinding violently against your clit and his teeth clamped down on your pulse point almost painfully. The slow grind of his pelvis against your thigh was torture. You could feel the heat from his 11 inch cock and the beat of his heart as he pressed down even further.

Your fingers skimmed up his back, attempting to bury themselves in his hair. “No.” Suddenly, your hands were pinned above you, trapped within one of Thor’s huge hands. “You don’t get to touch, not until you’ve learned.” Leaning back, Thor straddled your body, keeping you down as he used his belt to bind your hands together, looping the leather through the bars on your headboard. You tugged on the restraints, surprised to find that you could barely move.

“You will take what I have to give you and if you are good, you will get to touch me. Now, let me show you how beautiful you are.” Three thick fingers slipped inside you, your back arched upwards, sparks flying. “Oh god!” Thor scissored his fingers within you, stretching your walls further than ever before. You couldn’t help but wonder, if this was how his fucking fingers felt, his cock was going to rip you in two. His lips attached to your hard nipple through the coarse fabric of his shirt, soaking the material.

“That’s right. I’m your god. I belong to you, just as much as you belong to me.” He growled into your ear, he was breathless, like he was taking pleasure from your own. Your hips canted upwards, trying desperately to get more friction against your throbbing sex. You felt like you were burning from the inside out, the tips of Thor’s calloused fingers rubbing your g-spot perfectly. You pulled on the restraints as your stomach tightened, your pleasure building and building.

“Yes yes yes! Please Thor! Please!” Your nerves were on fire, slick pooled around your chubby thighs, rubbing onto Thor’s own hairy ones. You were vaulted to the edge of ecstasy and held there, your orgasm at the mercy of the god above you. “Please!” You begged, the pleasure slowly becoming a sweet burn within you.

“Tell me you are beautiful. Tell me you are worthy of love. Of my love.” Your eyes squeezed shut and turned your head from him, tears leaking down your cheeks. “No.” You whimpered. Your legs attempted to close around his hand, unsure whether you wanted to keep him in place or push him away. He bit your nipple harshly, a squeal escaping your lips. “Say it.” A sob ripped from your throat. “Fine.” 

Thor pulled his hand from you, bringing his fingers to his mouth. His tongue darted out, licking your juices up. “Delicious. One day I will devour you until you pass out but not today. You must earn that.” “How?!” You sobbed, the pain both from your ruined orgasm and your breakdown tearing a hole within you. 

“Love yourself as much as I love you.” His plump lips met yours in a surprisingly gentle kiss which you melted into. Big hands skirted up your generous curves beneath his shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake, settling on your wide waist, his thumbs brushing the underside of your heavy breasts. You moved in a natural rhythm, a push and pull that got increasingly more passionate. Thor barely noticed when you grinded against his leg, sighing as the ache was soothed, your pleasure building once more.

Suddenly your hips were pinned with an incredibly tight grip. “Naughty.” You moaned at his strength, the way he held you down with seemingly no effort. He reached above you, untying you from the bed frame but not releasing your wrists from the leather. “I believe it’s time I make good on my promises.” With a frightened yelp, you were flipped onto your stomach, your plump ass pulled up as you face-planted into your pillow, Thor’s shirt riding up so it was trapped under your nose, filling your senses with his comforting smell. “Just relax Dove, let me take all those evil thoughts from you pretty little head.” 

You mewled as his wide tongue licked up your slit, drinking down your juices. “Divine.” He muttered to himself, warm palms massaging your soft ass cheeks. “Now dove, remember, I’m doing this because I love you.” You looked back at him with a questioning gaze but nodded anyway. “Good, because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

With one powerful stroke, he buried half his length within you. Your body convulsed beneath him, his weight pressing you deeper into the mattress. You could feel every inch of his hard, toned body against your soft one, not to mention every centimeter of his godly cock prying you apart, each twitch, every slight movement he made, sending shocks of pleasured pain up your spine. “T-Thor!” He gave an experimental thrust and you screamed. His heavy balls grazed your clit as your insides fluttered, trying to suck him in deeper.

“By the gods, you have the most perfect quim.” His body folded over yours, head falling to the crook of your neck, breath coming out in heavy pants. Hips rolled into yours, his cock going even deeper, strong fingers digging into the flesh around your hips, most definitely leaving bruises. Thrusts started out slow, at least giving you the ability to get used to his massive size. As soon as you relaxed once more into the pillow, he growled and picked up his pace, the tip of his cock bashing your cervix.

“Too much!” You tried to pull away, as he forced another inch into you, making your mind go hazy. “Oh but dove, we still have more to go.” “No no no. No more.” You were drooling as another inch was pushed into your pussy. Your knees slid out from under you so the entirety of Thor’s body was connected to yours. With one last push, the last three inches of his cock slid in. 

“Ready?” You didn’t answer, drool falling from your open mouth, staining the pillowcase and his shirt. “You are worthy. You are beautiful. Pure. Powerful. Strong. Sexy. Delicate.” Each word was punctuated by a bone rattling thrust. “You are the love of my life. My queen. My goddess.” His pace was violent now, desperately trying to fuck his praises into you. As his cock pumped into you, heat spread through your body, the knot in your stomach growing ever tighter but still you thrashed, needing to get away from him.

“Stop running from me.” He growled, hand coming up to the back of your neck to pin you back in place. “You will take my cock, and you will take my love.” Thor shifted slightly and your clit rubbed against the crumpled bed sheets beneath you, immediately making your orgasm crash over you. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” White speaks dotted your vision as Thor continued to milk your pleasure, groaning when you tightened around him. “Good girl. That’s my good dove. So perfect.” He moaned against your ear, cock throbbing within you.

“Let me see your face.” He paused, gently kissing your cheek before carefully pulling out of you, his chest rumbling as he saw how puffy and sore your pussy looked. With delicate movements, he flipped you onto your back, wedging a pillow under your hips. Lips met yours once more, big hands sliding up your body, lifting the shirt up to completely expose you to his stormy eyes. He whispered against your swollen lips. ”I love you.” 

Fat tears dripped from your eyes. “Let me touch you please.” “Tell me what you love about yourself.” His hips rolled against yours once more, slowly sinking into your pussy again but only giving slow strokes, just barely building up your pleasure. “I c-can’t.” “You can. Tell me one thing. Just one.” His deep voice was so soft, it made you weak, your heart skipping in your chest. “Do it for me Dove. One thing and I’ll give you all the pleasure you could ever want.” To prove his point, he gave a few deep thrusts which made you cry out, your head falling against the pillow.

“I love how s-strong I am.” Your voice was quiet but he heard you, you felt him smile against your skin. He punched into you, your moans becoming deafening as the knot inside you tightened again. “I love how smart I am.” You sobbed as your hands were finally free from the belt which Thor ripped open and tossed to the other side of your room. Immediately, you buried them in his long hair, gripping it tightly. “Keep going, tell me more.” Your chubby legs wrapped around his waist, his hard muscles flexing beneath them.

“I love how s-s…” “Say it.” He growled into your throat, angling his hips so he was pumping against your g-spot with each thrust. “How soft I am.” Nails scraped down the god’s back so hard you drew blood. “More.” “Love how much bigger you are than me, like you can protect me from everything.” Your legs trembled, ankles locking together to keep his body close to yours. “You make me so happy. Make me feel loved, make me feel beautiful. I love you.”

The bed was now slamming into the wall with the force of his thrusts. Sweat poured down your bodies but you stayed as close as possible, love radiating from you both as your ends drew closer. Your mouths met in a messy kiss, teeth clashing together. “I love you.” He murmured against you, and that was it. Your orgasm exploded within you, your pussy clamping down on his dick painfully, your eyes fluttering shut. Thor let out a thunderous roar, releasing his hot seed deep inside you, his thrusts slowing but not stopping.

A big hand cupped your head so your foreheads rested together. As you came down, you looked up at your best friend, a huge dopey smile across his face, red splotching across his neck and chest. “Did you mean it?” Your voice was raspy and breathy. “Mean what dove?” “Everything.” His dark eyebrows furrowed. “Of course I did. I would never lie to you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I hate seeing you in any kind of pain.”

You kissed his nose sweetly. “Thank you.” “For loving you?” You nodded. “You never have to thank me for loving you, it is the greatest honour I could ever have.” Your arms tightened around his neck, bringing Thor’s face back down for another kiss. “I love you too. But do you think you could help clean me up? Your cum is really sticky.” He gave a hearty laugh and lifted you into his arms, and made his way to the bathroom.

——————

“Hello Dove! I have brought you some lunch.” Thor strode proudly into your office, huge plastic bag in hand which he promptly deposited on your desk. “Hi love.” You arched your neck up, accepting a loving kiss from the giant. He brushed the back of his knuckles against your cheek, smiling brightly when your eyes fluttered shut and you leaned into his touch. You brought his hand to your lips, laying a quick peck to them.

Suddenly you glanced down at them, your eyebrows scrunched. “Why are your knuckles bruised?” He looked away bashfully. “Did a workout with Rogers this morning.” “No you didn’t. You were in bed with me all morning, remember, I was late.” He pulled away from you and nervously played with the zipper on his jacket. “I may have taken care of that boy who hurt you.” He said shyly.

“Thor…” “I know, I shouldn’t hurt humans but he made you cry and question yourself. I had to teach him a lesson.” Your plump arms wrapped around him, head resting on his chest. “I was just going to thank you for protecting me, my big, strong, handsome, sweet man.” Thor growled and threw you on the desk, ripping open your shirt.

“My queen, you do know how to rile me up.” Your giggles turned into moans and safe to say that pretty much everyone was scared to go near your office for the rest of the day and you got a yelling at from Fury but it was all worth it for the smile on Thor’s face every time you told him something you loved about yourself. 

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Taglist

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

#thor x reader #thor x plus size reader #thor x you #thor x y/n #plus size reader #angst #fluff #female reader #thor odinson x reader #thor odinson x plus size reader #thor odinson x you #thor odinson x y/n #thor odinson x ypu #reader insert #smut #insecure!reader #tw disordered eating #mcu #marvel

[writers-ex]

hi! can i have the itzy members (separately) walking in on normally stoic reader crying bc she's insecure of her body? have a nice day<3

yes bc we all need some fluff rn lmk if this is ok anon <3

yeji

our kitten would be heartbroken to hear you say how much you hate your flabby arms and that no matter what you do or how much you diet and workout they stay the same, always hiding them behind long sleeve shirts yeji would cup your face ever so gently and kiss your lips before slowly pulling away to take off your shirt and rub your arms, she kisses your shoulder and goes all the way down to wrist before doing the same on the other arm whispering that these are the arms she gets to run into at the end of the day, your arms are her safe place and she treasures them just as she would any part of your body

ryujin

seeing you cross your arms and tugging down at the crop top she bought you to hide your stomach ryujin would sigh and stand in front of you while telling you to hold your arms out to the side, crouching down ryujin takes a good look at your stomach before placing a light kiss in the center making you gasp and whine for her to stop but she warns you to keep still as she stands back up and puts her hands on your exposed skin pulling you close as she rubs every inch of your to stomach all as a small smile grows on her face, no matter how much or little your stomach grows you’re ryujin girl, and she adores every inch of you

chaeryeong

seeing you always wear baggy pants or long skirts chaeryeong can’t help but notice you never like to show your legs or more specifically your thighs, one day while the two of you are watching a movie she sees your lower body covered with a blanket and pulls it off making you look at her confused but instead of explaining she scoots closer making you lay on the couch and places her hands on the waistband of your sweatpants, pulling them off slowly you cover your face as she sees the stretch marks and scars all over your thighs, instead of being disgusted she just traces each line with her finger tips humming to herself as she watches you gasp from such a loving touch, once she finishes she lays ontop of your chest and rubs a hand against thighs looking up at yiu chaeryeong repeatedly tells you thank you for loving her and proceeds to describe your beauty in the cheesiest and sweetest words she knows

lia

it’s not that you were insecure of your looks it’s just that you can’t help but compare your features to other girls and wonder why lia hasn’t fallen for their charms yet instead of staying with you, no matter all the amount of makeup and contouring you do it just doesn’t compare to the other girl’s beauty, lia happens to walk into the bathroom seeing you get ready for the morning your face turns red as she stands there gawking at you and before you can plead with her to forget what she saw lia walks toward you and cups your face smiling brightly, calling you her star she kissed every little detail on your face from your beauty mark to your eye bags to even the dimple you have repeating over and over again how much she loves you promising to stay faithful to her amazing one of a kind girlfriend-you

yuna

while yuna is playful and always teasing you she never once makes a comment on your body shape, you wonder if there’s something wrong with how you look, does she like it? are you eating too much? too little? hips wide? no hips? all those thoughts run through your mind as you take a moment to criticize your build, too lost in your thoughts you fail to see yuna standing there watching you twist and turn your body until she can’t sit still and gives you a back hug, resting her head on your shoulder as she kissed your neck, mumbling how beautiful you look all your negative thoughts vanish with each kiss and compliment your curved or built stature softly pulling you to the bed for some much needed cuddles

#hannie.txt #anon.txt #itzy #itzy x fem reader #itzy x yn #itzy x reader #itzy x fem!reader #itzy x you #itzy imagines #itzy drabbles #itzy hc #itzy soft hours #itzy soft thoughts #itzy fluff #itzy fluff hours #itzy fluff thoughts #itzy ff #insecure!reader #itzy ot5 #itzy ot5 fluff

[starstruckwillows]

♡ girls like me - s.b ♡

this is so self indulgent, i will cry if nobody reads it

starstruckwillows 🂱

pairing; sirius black x reader

category; hurt/comfort, fluff

summary; you're used to being treated wrong, but sirius black isn't okay with that

warnings/content; self-deprecative talk, a bad date

other; fem!reader, post!hogwarts, insecure!reader, reader has a pet

you weren't surprised to find that the tears stinging your eyes didn't fall.

it'd been years of practice now - as another partner blew you off for a more attractive side piece you'd pretended not to know about, the hurt didn't end in crying.

it ended in you cramming yourself into a telephone box to ring your best friend, marlene. she didn't pick up, and you then remembered she was out with her girlfriend. she'd told you this morning.

staring down at the last remnants of muggle money in your palm, as rain began assaulting the sides of the box, you shoved them in with new decision in your mind.

"hello?" the voice on the other end was groggy, and you silently cursed as you checked your watch. it was nearing midnight, of course you'd woken him up.

"sorry, i didn't realise the time..."

there was some shuffling over the phone, a new alertness to sirius as he answered, "ah, s'alright love. are you okay?"

you bit your lip, counting down the minutes you had left on the call in your hand, "not really," pathetic, you thought, "i- i'm in a telephone box right now, it's gonna hang up, but d'ya mind if i come over for a bit?"

anxiety coursed in your stomach as you internally chanted the words sirius had said to you a week prior, trying to soothe the guilt.

y'know you're welcome here anytime, m'never too busy for you.

sirius black may be cocky, and a bit of a flirt, but he loved his friends more than anything. he would drop anything for them.

"of course sweetheart, i'll unlock the door."

his flat was only an eight minute and twenty second walk from where you were.

even though you knew it was open, you knocked before pushing in, just to announce your presence.

sirius was over to you in a flash, shooting up from where he'd been sitting at his kitchen stool. he handed you a mug of tea before guiding you to the sofa.

once you were seated with your jacket drying on the radiator, and a blanket draped over your body in replacement, sirius took a seat on the armchair diagonal to you. he folded his legs underneath him, waiting for you to speak, when you were ready.

you nursed the drink with your cold hands, and he did the same, sipping coffee. he hated tea, he only stocked it for you.

"my date left half way through our meal to go home with our waitress. i sat there for twenty minutes, ate the jerk's pudding, then paid for it all and left."

sirius' jaw clenched at the lack of hope on your face, and he subconsciously pulled his hoodie string too tight.

with a sigh, "we're meeting again on sunday, and i just don't really want to go."

he frowned, "don't go. why would you go?"

"i... we haven't broken it off yet."

this was a common pattern sirius had recognized in you over the years, since hogwarts, even. you never ended things, you just waited until the other person did.

"well, maybe you should break it off, love. you said yourself you don't want to go. so don't."

you twirled the end of your damp hair, "i can't do that, siri. you know that."

he nodded, "i know, but i don't know why."

it was quiet for a moment, and he thought you weren't going to answer him, but you did.

"girls like me don't break up with people, sirius. we get dumped, over and over, until someone just decides it's easier to stay with us."

something you couldn't discern flickered over sirius' face.

he wanted to cut you off and tell you how much more you deserved, but he knew you needed to say this. you'd never said this to anyone, not even marlene.

your beautiful, charismatic best friend could never understand. the man before you, it felt weird to call someone you'd known since you were eleven a man, was both of those things, but you'd started talking now. you couldn't stop.

"and when someone decides that, they marry us for convenience, because their parents like us. we have a single child. they've always wanted two but the marriage doesn't make it that far, because they leave for the more attractive waitress or receptionist or phone operator."

the mood hung heavy in the air, and you were aware of how sad it was. you've done that, you thought, you've brought this sadness to sirius' home.

trying to lighten it up, you added, "or stripper."

sirius smiled slightly, seeing you needed that reassurance.

"you take your child back to your parents because you can't support the two of you alone, and they say they don't mind and they're happy to see you, but they constantly hold over your head how much of a success your siblings are. and they change the topic when their friends ask about you. and one day, if you were the first to have a child, the next grandchild will come along. but they'll call it the first. because you don't really count, so your child doesn't really count."

you were crying now. sirius wanted to cry too.

you'd been friends for eight years, he knew you held yourself to impossibly high standards. he knew you had an unhealthy lack of respect for your feelings. he knew you'd been hurt, and he knew you just wanted to be loved.

you only wanted to be loved.

but now wasn't the time for sirius to tell you he loved you - it wasn't the time to tell you that sure, he loved his friends, but he wouldn't keep tea in his cupboards for them.

it wasn't the time because not only would you think it was pity, he wanted you to understand you were perfect, whether someone loved you or not.

by this point, sirius had moved to sit with you, taking the remains of cold tea and putting your mug onto the table so he could pull you into his chest and tell you that you were worth much more than that.

you were worth the world to your friends, to your family.

to every stranger you smiled at, to everyone you held the door for and bid a good day.

to the people you helped in your job, even the ones who didn't deserve it sometimes.

to the stray animals you fed and helped rehome, to the one you hadn't been able to let go off and was waiting in your apartment now anyway.

to that young girl yesterday who you found crying in a public toilet, stricken with fear at the thought of asking a stranger for sanitary products.

"you make every life you touch better, darling, and if there's people who can't see that for themselves, it is their loss, you hear me?"

you tried to hear him. he helped you try. every day, for weeks, until one day, he showed up at your door, patted your favourite furry friend on the head, and presented you with a boquet of flowers.

before he even asked, you knew what he was going to say. a week ago, you may have hated yourself for hoping, thinking it was stupid to assume he would be interested in someone like you. except you felt better now.

besides, sirius black hated flowers, almost as much as he hated tea.

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly @slut4benbarnes

#starstruckwillows #marauders #marauders era #fluff #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x fem!reader fluff #sirius black hurt to comfort #sirius black hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #sirius black x reader hurt/comfort #sirius black x fem!reader hurt/comfort #padfoot #anxious!reader #sad!reader #insecure!reader #sirius black x insecure!reader #sirius black x

[whore-for-chris-evans]

And She Was a Goddess (Steve Rogers x f!reader)

[Warning: body image issues; mentions of abuse and if you squint, manipulation; insecure reader; nudity; light innuendo at the end. Lemme know if I missed a warning]

Summary: Some conversation between you and Steve led to him setting up his canvas to draw you naked, but somehow you can't seem to find the perfect pose. Turns out, that's not where the problem lies.

"You know what's messing with us?" Steve peeked at you from above the straight line of the canvas. You had been shifting around for fifteen minutes trying to get comfortable, you both knew it wasn't exactly working.

"What?"

"You're tense. Nervous."

You nodded slowly.

"Okay," his frame appeared beside yours swiftly as he took one of your hands, your bodies touching nowhere else. "It's okay to be tense. Can you tell me exactly what's making you tense?" he asked gently, soothing your nerves with every caress of his voice in the quiet night.

You thought hard for a while, trying to zone into specific parts of your worry. "It's my first time being naked in front of anyone."

"Alright, that's understandable. We can take all the time for you to feel easy right now. We have all night. You have to trust me. And trust yourself."

"I'm worried that…" You hesitated, then changed your words before they came out, "that the painting won't come out right." Your eyes widened as you realised what you were implying. "Not that I'm saying that you can't-"

"Calm down," he chuckled, the melodic sound taking you to heaven, "I know what you mean. Listen, if it doesn't go the way we thought, there's always more paint and paper. And the rest of the weekend. We'll figure it out."

"I'm thinking…I don't make a beautiful muse." You whispered so quietly he would have missed it if not for his super soldier hearing.

He looked into your eyes and then looked around the room, gaze settling on the full length mirror. "Come here," he tugged you to your feet effortlessly, "You see that thing?"

"Yes, why?"

"I want you to go stand in front of it. Facing the glass."

The soft but dominant tone of his voice had you nearly buckling at the knees. He had a way of bringing out the submission in you that you didn't even know existed. The submission you were delighted to have found. You had finally brought yourself to trust him with your life and heart. As a child, you always had to look out for yourself, running from your abusive family, running from a malicious neighbourhood; as a teen, from people who only wanted to use you for everything you could offer.

Being able to give everything up to this man, to completely surrender to him and let him control the decisions for even a brief period of time was freeing for you, ironically. Not having to decide meant not having to worry. That you were safe with him. Sheltered.

So when he responded to your confused glance with a gentle push in the direction of the mirror, you obeyed him without asking any questions, terrified as you were of the reflection surely awaiting your insecure gaze.

Looking at the woman who stared back at you, you couldn't help but point out to yourself just how badly made she was. How was that beautiful?? How could anybody want that basic looking creature? Want to hold that anything but shapely body? How could someone look at her-

"Now," Steve all but jumpscared you as his face appeared right next to yours, nuzzled close to your ear. A perfect face, you thought. Blessed with hair like fields of corn. Crystal eyes like an ocean in bright summer. Lips like rose petals blown apart. Sharp lines of facial structure that, along with umpteen other gifts of his, had cut through your walls as easily as a knife through water. Dimples whenever he graced you with a flash of shining pearls.

Handsome. Beautiful.

Wanted.

"Now," You were jerked out of your thoughts by the deep timbre, "I want you to look at yourself very carefully, pinpoint exactly which things you think make you anything less than beautiful."

You stared for a while. This was hard for you to do. You had never really focused on a certain part of yourself; you just kept telling yourself that you were unattractive in general.

"I have thick thighs."

"Not really you don't. They look perfect. Here," he raised your arms a little and placed his hands under them, "see this beautiful curve that starts here and runs all the way down…" he ran his hands down your sides, over your hips and further below until they rested on the sides of your thighs, "…to here? Your thighs complete that curve. It's absolutely mesmerising how well shaped you are." Looking at yourself, you found the curve he was talking about. You thought it wasn't so bad. You didn't really get his enthusiasm but whatever, you'd play along.

"Okay," You whispered, moving to get back to the couch.

"We're not done," he held your arms and kept you facing the glass, "You're gonna show me every single thing that's been eating at you. We're ending this tonight itself."

"My nose-"

"Is adorable. You're funny, sweet and kind and your face looks just like that. Your nose too. It's-"

"Blunt." You raised an eyebrow.

"Cute." He stressed. "It's perfect."

Sighing, you turned back to finish your assessment; knowing Steve, he most certainly wasn't gonna let this go unless he was sure you were done. And you wanted to see the painting that hadn't even started yet.

"I'm fat." You breathed out nonchalantly, feeling ready to cry inside.

"Seriously?"

"Look at me Steve, look at all that fucking belly fat," You snapped. You had had enough of this and truth be told, you didn't even want him to paint you anymore, naked or otherwise. Not tonight. You were contemplating sleeping on the couch but Steve would probably just carry you back to bed with him. And while you really wanted to be left alone, you also didn't want him out of the house.

Your anger, which had started to simmer, sizzled again at the sound of a laugh. A lighthearted, breathy laugh that cut through the silence just like his shield did. You looked up incredulously and glared at him, your back now to the mirror.

"You've seen Greek sculptures, right?"

"The fuck - yeah, I have of course, why?"

"Have you ever seen Aphrodite?"

"I…don't think so."

"She has belly rolls too. Did you know that?"

"You're bluffing."

He walked over to the coffee table to pick up his phone. Normally Steve Rogers absolutely wouldn't rely on that stupid rectangular thing for a picture, but his Greek and Roman art scrapbook was at his apartment, so he had to.

Pulling out a photo of the sculpture he wanted to show you, he returned to you, turning his screen so you could see for yourself that he was not, in fact, bluffing. There were multiple sculptures of her, showing exactly what he was trying to tell you.

"Whoa."

"She was a goddess, darling. And to me, so are you. You're my goddess," he held your hands and kissed your knuckles, devotion and admiration bleeding out through every single one of his actions and words.

Your lips split apart and curved upwards after what felt like forever.

"Do you get how beautiful you are now?" He huskily asked you.

"I'm getting there," you answered in all honesty.

"Good," he kissed your lips lightly before asking, "ready to be my muse again?"

"Let's do this," you grinned.

You didn't get to put your clothes on again until next morning - Steve had more ways of admiring you than you thought, more physical ways. The painting? Well, it took way longer than that to finish. And when it was, you knew exactly how he viewed you. He had depicted you exactly as he saw you, and if that was the image of you in his mind, you didn't really care what anyone else thought, even yourself.

[Self-indulgent much, Sapphire?

Yes, pretty much so.]

@royalwriteroftheuniverse @peace-love-fanfiction @nana1000night @sarahrogersevans @wolphfeather @hawkeyes-queen @simpforsupersoldiers @jesevans @almosttoopizza @mainly-marvel @icantthinkofanyoneelseimsosorry

#steve rogers #steve rogers x f!reader #Insecure!reader #chris evans characters #chris evans fanfiction #I wrote half of this then my brain turned off and I fell asleep #When I woke up I had lost the flow #Finished it two days later and I'm still sleep-deprived #Anyway look who wrote stuff again

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

HMBAU Chapter 3: Uncharted Territory and New Friends?!

I had just kind of sat there dumbfounded

Because now there was an entire plate of assorted food on my plate 

Like holy shit this is a whole ass buffet

“Eat up so you have enough energy for the rest of the day!” Bokuto said kinda loudly and smiling 

I still sat there just shocked eyes wider than a tuba bell

“Alright Y/N-chan I guess we’re gonna do this the hard way” Oikawa said to me standing up from his place in the circle 

“I-what?!?!”

He didn’t say anything but he just walks over to me sits back down criss-cross and pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, his fingers settling on my waist and hips

“O-Oikawa what are you doing?!”

“Juuuust loosening you up a bit” He said with his chin on my shoulder

“Hey Oikawa, is this really a good idea?” Yaku pipes in

“It’ll be fine Yaku-chan~she’ll be fine”

With no warning as to what he could be talking about, I felt his hands move and he did the unthinkable

He started tickling me with no mercy

“Wahaiaiaiaiait nohhohohohohohoho”

“Oh yes~I’m sure you know what you need to do for me to stop~just tell me you’ll eat and follow through with that”

“Ohohohohohokahahahahay I wihihhhihhill juhuhst pleahehehehehese sthohohohp”

“Okay good!” he stopped when suddenly an apple slice with peanut butter on it appeared super close to my face

How on earth?!

And then I saw the person who was holding it was Osamu

Figures, only he would be able to accomplish perfect apple slices that fast

“Ah! I-I c-can e-eat myself b-but thank you”

“Ok” and he put it down on the plate

I knew he was good with food but holy shit the layout looked spectacular

Damn him for knowing me too well

I slowly started eating while the others started up a conversation

“Hey Bokuto, did you finally get a pedal note?”

“NO AND HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP”

I felt Oikawa laugh and pick me up off his lap and chime in with “Wait Bokuto-chan can’t pedal hahaha”

“HEY MAN LIKE YOU COULD HOLD A TUBA”

“Actually Bokuto he can. I know he seems weaker than a twig but his strength will surprise you” now that got me and I choked a bit

“IWA-CHAN DON’T SAY THOSE THINGS! YOU ALREADY KNOW I CAN WALK WITH THAT THING FOR A MILE ” only for Akaashi to finally notice choking and he alleviated it using the heimlich

“Are you ok?!”Akaashi said while also coaxing me to drink some water whilst the others continued to bicker in the background

“Y-yeah I’m ok but thank you”

He just smiled nodded and went back to where he had been sitting 

I just kind of sat there slowly eating everything and getting full like never before 

But I guess at some point I got lost just watching them because I got snapped out by Osamu

“Hey Y/N our break is over it’s time to go to the band room”

“Ah ok”

“Hey uh-Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna walk there together especially since we keep our instruments near each other?”

“Uh-sure why not”

“Cool. So how come you pack such small lunches?”

“Oh well, I’m kind of a picky eater and I’m also watching what I eat so I can be healthier and raise my endurance on things. I also don’t think about it really”

“Ah”

“Is it just me or is everyone acting kinda strange today?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like I usually don’t talk to anyone and suddenly people are swarming me, especially the brass leaders! Has that been happening to you too?”

“Nah I think it’s just a you thing as far as getting lots of new attention.”

“But like why me?! I’m not interesting at all and coulda sworn no one around me really paid attention to my existence!”

“Probably because your talent piqued a lot of people’s interests, especially the leaders because they saw it, I know I was”

“But like Oikawa is acting the weirdest towards me, and none of the other flutes are! Am I a threat?!”

“No I wouldn’t say you are a threat, more like a successor”

“But i have no leadership skills! How would I be a good successor?”

“Your potential and that you aren’t Kageyama”

“But like who else has an eye on me?”

“The tubas”

#HMBAU #oikawa toru x reader #haikyu x reader #insecure!reader #ticklish!reader #lee!reader #iwaizumi x reader x oikawa #haikyuu #haikyu!!

[babyghouly]

Summer of ‘86, baby

Summer of ‘86, Baby

Pair: Eddie Munson x GN! Reader; Curly Hair! Reader; Insecure! Reader; Anxious! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Implied Smut (End)

Words: ~3k

Summary: This takes place in the summer of ‘86, after Eddie finally graduates. You are hanging out at your boyfriend’s home and decide to stay the night. It’s hot as hell outside and you need to shower to cool down before bed and Eddie joins you. During this, you guys decide to swap hairstyles as you both have curly hair, but treat and style it much differently.

Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Implied Sex at the end, Mentions of Insecurity and Anxiety

Notes From Ghoul: This is my first Eddie Munson fic and I don’t really write things like ever... so it might not be as great as other fics out there but I tried! The inspiration struck when I imagined Eddie with more defined curls like mine :)

Ghoul’s Masterlist

Tags: @wrensw0rld (Thank You <3)

The final song of Judas Priest's Turbo album faded out, leaving the crackling sound of the turntable's needle hitting the vinyl to fill the room's silence. It was a particularly warm evening in Hawkins tonight and you thought to yourself that there was no way you were going to bed without a cold shower to cool your body temperature down. Even with that said, you were snuggled closely to your boyfriend, Eddie, as the warmth emanating from him was more comforting than the Hawkin's summer sun which was almost out of sight, finally. The needle picked up the last groove of the vinyl and left the room filled with a low buzzing noise over the speakers.

You point to the turntable and look up at Eddie, "Are you going to get that, babe? It'll collect dust if you leave it on there."

He chuckled, squeezing you closer to him and giving you a kiss on your forehead before getting out of bed to attend to the vinyl, "You know they make tools to clean these things so it doesn't really matter if it gets dusty."

You rolled your eyes lightly, "But you're just making more work for yourself by being lazy and letting it collect dust. It's something that can be prevented, so why not prevent it?"

"Y'know, you're really cute when you nag me about my vinyls," He began, a smirk forming on his lips, "But if I remember correctly, I'm the one that got you into collecting them over cassettes. So shouldn't I be the one nagging you on what to do with them? I do have more experience."

You let a small smile peek through as you enjoyed when he got riled up about things.

After he finished putting the vinyl into its sleeve and set it on top of the turntable's now closed lid, Eddie peered outside looking at the burnt orange sky growing darker and darker as the glowing sun set for the night.

"Do you need a ride back home?" He sighed, disappointed that it was time for his girlfriend to go back home, "You really shouldn't be walking home this late at night. Bad shit happens at sundown, I know you know that."

You shook your head, "No. I was planning to stay the night if that's okay with you? I'd honestly rather be with you tonight."

"You'd rather be with me than Mr. Tickles?" His demeanor quickly changed as he excitedly sat down next to you and with a haughty tone he continued, "I'm truly honored, babe. I hope Mr. Tickles doesn't get jealous of me."

Mr. Tickles is your teddy bear that you've had since you were a child. You haven't been able to sleep comfortably without him, even as you grew older. Eddie didn't think any less of you when you first told him about Mr. Tickles, but at this moment you regretted ever telling him about this fact.

"Of course you can stay over, babe, but maybe give me a heads up next time so I can make the room and my bed a little more….. presentable?" He explained, moving his hands manically to show off the disaster that is his bedroom.

You let out a laugh, "Ed, I've seen your room a lot messier than this, it's okay. It's not like my room is any better"

The two of you chuckled and then you stood up from the bed, en route to the bathroom. Watching you walk towards the door left Eddie puzzled for a moment.

"Where are you going? Didn't we agree you'd stay over?" he patted the spot where you were laying next to him just moments ago.

"Calm down, calm down," you shushed, "I'm just going to have a shower. It's fucking hot and if I'm going to sleep in the same bed as a freaking heater all night then I need to be ice cold."

Eddie's bottom lip pursed out and he stared at you with puppy dog eyes, "Don't leave me, I'll miss you too much."

You knew he was being overdramatic, but you raised your eyebrows and said, "Then why don't you just join me?"

"Well if you insist," He shot up from his place on the bed, scurrying his way towards you and with a cocky tone he said, "I'd never pass on the opportunity to see you naked." Ending it with a wink and a smirk.

Your palm hit your face and you jokingly snapped back shaking your head, "I can't say the same about you"

"That's not what you were saying the other night, but okay" He quickly retorted, with his hands moving upward as if he was just caught by police.

He brought his large warm hands down to your waist, making a home on your hips as he guided you to the bathroom. As Eddie fiddled with the shower faucet, you cracked open the tiny window to let the heat and moisture escape. Once the water started flowing, you stuck your hand in to make sure the temperature wasn't too cold to shock yourself as you climbed in. When the temperature stayed consistent, you began to undress, tossing your shorts and tank top onto the floor and kicking them to the side.

"Babe, the water's ready," You started, turning around to face Eddie, who was already fully undressed and eyeing you up from behind, "Let's get in." You smiled.

Eddie stepped in first, squealing at the sudden cold water hitting his bare skin. You hesitated to remove your undergarments as Eddie has technically never truly seen you naked. I mean, yeah sure you've had sex before, but it was at night with the lights off and sometimes you left a shirt on. Currently, you are standing in a brightly lit bathroom, with nothing to hide every detail of your body. Eddie was going to see all of you and that anxiety really set in when you went to take your undergarments off.

"Hey, babe" Eddie snapped for your attention, a cheeky grin on his face, "Hurry up, the water's gettin' cold"

Oddly enough, his quirky comment lightened the mood and put you at ease for the moment, allowing you to slowly take your underwear off, tossing them into the newly formed clothes pile. Eddie extended his hand towards you to help stabilize you as you entered the shower. Once in the shower, you realized this would be more difficult than imagined. The water barely hit you as Eddie's body was its closest target, receiving the majority of its cooling rainfall that sprayed out.

"This works out perfect," Eddie started, "Not only do I get to see you naked, but I can cool down AND wash my hair."

You laughed, "I like how seeing me naked is somehow more important than keeping yourself from burning to a crisp from this fucking heat as well as basic hygiene."

"I'm a man with priorities," He quipped, "and I'll be damned if I don't admire your naked body, what can I say?" Your cheeks flushed red hearing this.

"Can we switch spots, I want to wash my hair," You started, "The amount of sweat that's built up is disgusting to even think about"

Eddie didn't move, pursing his lips in thought, "How about you wash my hair and I'll wash yours? Wouldn't you like a nice scalp massage from yours truly, I know I've always been interested in the idea"

The room fell silent for a short moment as you thought about it, with nothing but the running shower filling in the gaps where spoken word should be.

I normally don't let anyone touch my hair as I've only just recently perfected my hair care routine to produce flawless curls every time. He does seem really excited about it and I guess there wouldn't be too much damage done, right? Damn you anxiety.

"Sure, let's do it" Your words broke the silence.

Eddie excitedly reached for his shampoo and handed it to you. You looked down at it and read the label 'Green Apple, 3 in 1 Shampoo, Conditioner, & Body Wash'. Your face furrowed in disbelief that with hair like his, Eddie uses a 3 in 1 mix? You would have thought that he would at least use a cheap shampoo and conditioner over a 3 in 1.

"Do you really not use any conditioner," You began, "... like, at all?"

He looked puzzled at your question, "But there's a conditioner in there! It kills two birds with one stone, baby"

You set down this monstrosity of a hair product down on the ledge of the tub. It was at this moment you were glad that you brought your own shampoo and conditioner from home, almost as if part of you knew this would happen. On the opposite side of the ledge sat your shampoo and conditioner and you picked up both to teach Eddie about proper hair care, something near and dear to your heart given the curls you were blessed with.

"Okay, babe. Sure 3 in 1 and even 2 in 1 products can be really convenient, but" You explained, "It's not really the best for your hair unless I guess your hair is really short, which your head of hair-"

"Is long as fuck? A beast that can't be tamed?" Eddie interrupted, shaking around his currently wet mop of hair, "I know"

You let out a giggle while opening your shampoo, squeezing a generous blob of it on your hands and lathering it between your hands.

"Well," you began, "It's a beast I will attempt to tame, so just sit back and let me work my magic."

"Thanks, babe." He smiled, cupping your jaw between his hands and pecking you with kisses all over your face, ending it with a kiss on your nose. This left you flustered and trying to hold back a smile.

You worked the shampoo through his hair, making sure to massage his scalp slowly to make the experience last longer and as you did you studied his face. It looked peaceful, eyes lightly shut and a permanent smile was fixed on his face. The look was comparable to the times you watched him sleep because you came by his house too early in the morning.

You broke out of your trance hearing exaggerated sniffing sounds coming from Eddie, "You know what this smells like?" He asked you.

"What?".

"It smells like Starbursts." He answered, "I just want to eat it"

You giggled, shaking your head lightly, "Well it's time to rinse it out and put the conditioner in. Turn around"

You placed your hands on his shoulder to assist him while turning around. Once all the shampoo was rinsed out and you squeezed out excess water from his hair, you dolloped a quarter size amount of conditioner on your hands. Rubbing it on your hands and then running your hands through the ends of his hair.

"Okay, now it's my turn." You said.

"Don't I have to rinse this out too?" Eddie questioned.

"Not right now, it needs to sit for a little bit," You explained, "So in the meantime, it's my turn to get my scalp massaged."

You and Eddie switched positions so that now you were the one in the direct spray of the cool water, sending a shiver up your spine. You drenched your hair in the water, getting ready for Eddie to wash it. You watched as he picked up the dreaded 3 in 1 bottle and before you could say anything he shushed you.

"Hey, hey, hey" Eddie began, "I figured if you're washing my hair like you do with yours, I will wash your hair like I do with mine, deal?"

You let out a deep sigh.

How bad could it really be? I can just shower tomorrow and do a hair mask, that should fix the damage from tonight…. He does seem really excited about this and I really do adore how excited he gets about things. Am I really just overreacting to this? It's just hair after all.

"Fine," you moaned, "But this is never happening again… I really can't risk what this will do to my poor hair if I keep doing this."

"Well aren't you a little overdramatic?" He joked, squeezing out a terrifying amount of shampoo into his hands.

With eyes wide you looked at his shampoo filled hand and then him asking, "Is that really how much you use or is this just a joke?"

"It acts as both shampoo and conditioner so wouldn't you just combine the amount of shampoo you would use with the amount of conditioner you'd use?"

You slapped your hands against your cheeks shaking your head, "Ed, I don't think that's how it works."

He shrugged his shoulders and began to massage the shampoo, conditioner, body wash monstrosity into your hair. The only redeemable quality of this shit was the smell. You always loved the smell of Eddie's hair when he would wash it and now your hair gets to smell like it. His hands were a lot bigger than yours so he could probably just massage your scalp with just one hand. Never in your life did you think you could be so relaxed with so many shampoo suds in your hair, but alas there you were. Luckily, the position in which you were standing caused the suds to wash away quite quickly while he massaged the handful of shampoo through your hair. 

Unlike with Eddie, you kept your eyes open through it all even if it meant risking the suds getting in your eyes. In doing this you became fixated with the tattoos on his chest. Your arm slowly made its way towards them. With a pointed finger, you began lightly tracing them. Eventually your eyes met with Eddie's and he stopped massaging your scalp. His hands moved down your body lightly, making their way to your hips once again. They pulled you closer to him as he leaned in for a kiss. Your hands made their way up to the back of his head, fingers weaving up through his hair. With this, you pushed his head closer to yours, deepening the kiss. Things were heating up in this ice cold shower as Eddie was the one to break the kiss, moving his lips to your neck, beginning to nip at it. Snapping back into reality, you shooed him away from your neck.

"What's the matter babe?" He pouted.

"I'm not the one for shower sex," You answered, "You know I get anxious about things and I just had the flashing image of us doing it and slipping in the shower and that's how we kick the bucket."

"At least we'd be together though?" He said, holding back laughter. He knew you did get anxious about things and he didn't want to invalidate your concern, but you sure had funny ways of explaining your reasoning to him.

"Yeah, but we'd be butt naked and sopping wet. That's no way to go!" You argued.

"Well, it's a good thing we're pretty much finished here, so we can get out of this death trap" He explained.

You playfully flicked him with a cheeky smile on your face as he tried to defend himself from the attack. Both of you rinsed out what was left in your hair and shut off the water. Stepping out of the shower, the summer heat hit hard. The water droplets evaporated instantly into the atmosphere so you almost didn't need towels to dry off, but you still wrapped one around yourself.

"Okay," You started, "So other than properly conditioning your hair, if you want your curls to look really good you can't use a towel to dry them and you should avoid a hairdryer as well… it just makes your hair frizzy."

"My hair is soaking wet babe," He complained, "I can't live like this until it dries!"

You picked up his Iron Maiden t-shirt that was left on the floor and threw it at him, 

"Just use this to get most of the water out, but don't rub it. Just scrunch it up to squeeze it out." You said, "I'm guessing I'll have to use a towel then to get the signature 'Eddie Munson' look, right"

"You got that right, babe." He nodded while scrunching his hair dry, "And you have to brush it from the sides outward with this funky ass brush to get that sweet, sweet volume"

You did exactly that, cringing during every moment. Due to the summer heat, your hair was drying quick enough and your swapped looks were almost finished. You turned your head to look at Eddie more clearly and snorted.

"Babe!" You cackled, "You look like Cher! If only your hair was longer, you could be her twin!"

"I'd say I look more like Kirk Hammett, but okay" He scoffed, "And your hair definitely resembles my signature look, if I got electrocuted"

You playfully started hitting him, but was abruptly stopped by his hands grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into a sloppy kiss. After what felt like a minute of heavily making out, Eddie pulled away.

"Now that we're out of that death trap," He started, his voice noticeably deeper and more seductive than before, "would you like to pick up where we left off?"

You kiss him again and slowly pull away, biting at his lower lip. With lust in your eyes you looked deeply into his eyes with a smirk forming on your face, "Of course I would"

So much for an ice cold shower.

- END -

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #insecure!reader #curly hair!reader #anxious!reader #gn!reader #eddie x reader #eddie x gn!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #stranger things fic #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x curly hair!reader #eddie munson x anxious!reader #eddie munson x insecure!reader #fanfiction #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfiction #fluff #smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #stranger things s4 #gender neutral reader #eddie munson x gender neutral reader

[buckyalpine]

Dry humping chubby Bucky

Just imagine dry humping with subby chubby beefy Bucky. Using him for your pleasure, moaning and whining while you hump and grind yourself all over him. He’s a shy baby who can’t believe someone who looks like you would be so into someone like him. No amount of convincing works, which is how you both ended up on the couch with you straddled on his lap, rubbing yourself on his achingly hard length. 

You worship him, whispering the sweetest words while taking your clothes off one by one, leaving you in just the tiniest pair of lace panties, rubbing your clit right where the tip of his cock rests in his pants. 

“You’re so pretty like this, big boy” Your hands grip onto his thick shoulders, your fingers toying with the hair at the nap of his neck, tugging it every so slightly. His face is flushed, pink lips parted, gasping every time you move just right, his balls heavy, “My pretty baby boy” 

“Oh God” He whimpers, feeling spurts of precum drip from the tip, his entire body throbbing from how good it feels. At some point you lean back, grasping onto his thighs, putting your body in display for him while you continue to swivel your hips on his erection and he swears he’s died and gone to heaven. 

“Fuck, James” You chant and moan his name, brows knitted together, refusing to take your eyes off him because he’s the one who makes you feel this good. You get off just getting to rub yourself on him and he better know it. He hesitates to touch you but when you throw your arms around his neck again, your breasts practically in his face, he can’t help but grab onto you. 

“Angel” He warns as best as he can, his cock his leaking and making a mess in his his pants, he’s going to blow his load if you don’t stop but you grind down hard on him and circle your hips. “S-slow down, I-please” 

He doesn’t want to blow just yet, he loves how you worship him, you turn into such a needy slutty kitten, making him feel so good and what kind of boyfriend would he be if he came in his pants like a little boy. He tries so hard to hold on, to stop himself from cumming but you make it impossible. 

You notice his hands grip you harder, his fingers digging into your soft flesh hard enough to leave bruises, chest heaving up and down. You let out a moan right by his ear at his cock swells, balls pulling tight to his body. Before he could say anything, sticky ropes of his spend throb out his cock from where your pussy humps him perfectly. 

He buries his face into your bare chest, taking a nipple into his mouth to muffle his moans, his hips stuttering from underneath, his large form under you squirming and trembling. You register his needy ministrations, hiding his face between broken moans, puffs of air hitting your warm skin as he pants. You pause your movement, your hands coming up to his face, pulling him away from your chest. 

“Did you cum baby?” You cup his scruffy cheek, making him look at you, his sweet blue eyes looking at you with shyness, the blush on his cheeks spreading to his ears. He nods, refusing to meet your eyes while you coo, kissing his face before capturing his soft lips. All he can do is nod, still looking away from you, nervously squeezing your hips in his large hands. 

“Sorry, I couldn't hold it” He whispered making you fall in love with him more. 

“Did it feel good, handsome?” Your nose bumped against his, loving the smile that graced his lips, blinking up at you. “I want to make you feel good, baby” 

His eyes grow wide when you slink off his lap and start to tug at the waistband of his pants, urging him to lift his hips so you can pull them down to his knees. He wants to squeeze his thighs shut, he isn’t even hard anymore. He doesn’t think you’d want to look at him when he’s soft, made a mess all over himself. 

“Angel, what are you-”

“Gotta clean you up, big boy” You take his softening cock, covered his silky cream into your mouth, lapping him right up, loving the slutty, desperate moan he lets out. He’s so sensitive, body jolting with each lap of your tongue but you’re not gonna be finished with him until he gets how perfect he is for you. 

Anyway. 

#subby bucky #sub Bucky Barnes #sub bucky x reader #chubby bucky barnes #chubby bucky #chubby bucky x reader #chubby bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes smut #subby chubby bucky #subby bucky barnes #subby bucky x reader #subby bucky smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #marvel smut #avengers smut #beefy bucky #beefy bucky barnes #beefy bucky fluff #beefy bucky smut #chubby bucky smut #chubby bucky fluff #insecure bucky #insecure chubby bucky #james buchanan barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction

[purple-babygirl]

welcome baaaack! i missed you so much

i've been here since forever and i remember a very long time ago that you promised us insecure chubby bucky. i never forget and i'm still waiting for him (when you get time for sure). i would love to read that whenever you right it! otherwise i'm really happy you're back again.

much love purple<3

Pairing: Insecure!Chubby!Chef!Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Word Count: 4,180

Summary: Bucky runs into his ex, who manages to mess with his head, bringing his insecurities to the surface again. His girl takes it upon herself to show him how perfect he is.

Warnings: 18+ content, bullying (sort of), fat shaming, negative self body image, insecurities, intrusive thoughts, mentions of cheating, a little crying, a little angst, smut, unprotected vaginal sex, cum, multiple orgasms

A/N: Nonnie, omg, you have been here a long time! I love and appreciate you so so much and I can't believe you stuck around for so long wow:"💜💜 Thank you so much for existing and for being here you're the reason I don't wanna leave again💜💜💜 Here's one insecure chubby bucky for you, I hope you like this one and that I did a good job💜 Thank you again ilyyy, please enjoyxx💜💜(y'all i think i forgot how to write smut what is wrong with me)

~

perfect to me

“I’m so sorry, baby, I have to run,” she told him after checking her phone, pecking his lips and taking quick steps down the aisle of the large store.

Bucky smiled, taking another fruit plate and placing it in their cart. His girl was such a hard worker and he couldn’t be prouder.

It was going to be Christmas soon and his girl was still working hard so Bucky was going to make her the best holiday food she’s ever tasted.

He was focused on picking the freshest cranberries when he heard a scoff, a very familiar one.

“Hey, Ryan,” Bucky sighed, not really wanting to ruin his good mood, as he turned around to meet a face he knew too well.

“What does she owe you?” said Ryan, tilting his head with a smirk.

“What?!”

“There’s no way this chick is seeing you. I figured she must owe you and is just paying her debt!” He smirked further, not even trying to hide his gloating when he saw that his words still had an effect on Bucky.

“My relationship with her is none of your business.” Bucky’s voice was suddenly low as his eyes stared down at the contents of the cart.

“But my relationship with you is.” Ryan put a finger under Bucky’s chin but the latter took a step away.

“We don’t have a relationship. You cheated on me, remember? I was too fat for you.” Bucky’s shaky voice moved nothing inside Ryan. If anything Ryan wanted more.

“And now you’re too fat for her.”

“Shut up. She is nothing like you.”

“Really? Do you even know where she goes when she leaves you? Where she is right now, for example?” Ryan smirked.

“She got called into work and had to run to the office.” Bucky knew he owed him nothing and if he was in his right mind he wouldn’t have went through a conversation with Ryan at all, but he wasn’t.

“How are you still so naïve?” He laughed heartily as if Bucky’s misery was actually amusing to him.

“Leave me alone.” Bucky tried to push the shopping cart and walk away, but Ryan stepped before him.

“I didn’t know your publisher lived in an office.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She leaves you to go fuck your publisher. You know him, black guy, sexily built, very handsome.”

The words left Bucky feeling lightheaded as the world seemed to twirl around him. Could history be repeating itself? No, not this time. His girl was not like that.

“I saw her coming to his building with him.”

“How’d you even-”

“I wait tables in the restaurant across the street from his apartment. I didn’t know she was with you but damn are you lucky you met me today!” Ryan laughed insensitively.

“It’s probably someone else.”

“I think I know what your publisher looks like.”

“You’re lying,” Bucky chocked out, trying to get out of Ryan’s way.

“You don’t sound so sure about that.” Ryan tilted his head again with a smug smirk, poking Bucky’s tummy, “you know why? Because deep down you know she’s too sexy for you. Because you look at her and then at yourself and you can’t figure out why she’d want you. Because you know that sooner or later she’s gonna get tired of your fat ass and—”

“My life now is none of your business, Ryan. You left. You chose to go, so stay gone.” Bucky’s weak voice interrupted, shutting Ryan right up before he sped out of the store, leaving the groceries behind.

“You’ll come back to me when you see for yourself!” He shouted after Bucky, but he didn’t stop nor turn back.

The questions he had raised in Bucky’s head, Bucky had no answers for them himself. Why was this sweet girl with him? What did she see in him? Anyone who met them thought the same thing: they didn’t belong together. So what did she see differently? What was Bucky bringing to their relationship? Could he even satisfy her? Could he keep her fulfilled?

He thought the days where Ryan messed with his head were long gone but he was obviously mistaken. Ryan could still easily hurt him. He could still make him feel as large as an elephant yet smaller than an insect. The dagger he’d planted was in so deep that Bucky couldn’t feel anything but the pain the stab brought.

~

His ex’s words plagued his mind. They took over and drowned out his girl’s voice, pushing it to the background.

All of a sudden, Bucky was very aware of his size, of the way the couch made the slightest sounds under his weight, and the way his girl could fit her whole self on one of his thighs if she wanted to.

“Bucky bear?” A hand on his cheek pulled him out of his thoughts.

Suddenly, he hated the words she nicknamed him with. Bear? Is that how big she thought he was?

“Hmm?”

“I was asking if you wanna go shopping for last minute gifts with me tomorrow,” she repeated, smiling sweetly, her fingers brushing a few hairs back and behind Bucky’s ear as she yawned.

Bucky’s new cookbook became a best seller after one week of release and the publication house was throwing the amazing chef a party.

She couldn’t be prouder and she wanted to support Bucky all the way. She loved Christmas and now it was going to be even better with this event added to their memories.

She was going to go all out for her man and he didn’t even know it. It was going to be a huge surprise and she couldn’t wait to make it happen.

“Yeah, why not,” Bucky replied, faking a smile back.

“What were you busy thinking about?” Her thumb traced his stubbly cheek as she frowned worriedly.

For a wonderfully successful cook, Bucky didn’t look so happy.

“You,” he answered with the truth though his eyes didn’t sparkle like they usually would at the thought of her.

“What about me?” Her smile returned as she stared lovingly at Bucky’s face.

“Why are you with me?” Bucky couldn’t hide the sorrow in his voice if he tried.

“What?” She sat up straight in his lap as her face fell.

“Please don’t make me repeat the question.”

“Buck, where’s this coming from?” Her hands cupped both his cheeks.

“I just don’t get it.” He shook his head, swallowing as his hands removed hers from his face.

“Don’t get what?!” She placed her hands on Bucky’s chest instead, refusing to let him push her away.

“Why you’re here!”

“I’m here because I love you, what’s hard to get, baby?”

“Do you really love me?”

This was serious. She’s never seen her boyfriend look so broken.

“James, what’s going on?”

“Answer the question, plum,” Bucky requested, the back of his fingers stroking over her cheek, knowing this was probably the last time he would get to touch her soft skin.

“Of course I love you!”

“Then why do you leave me to go meet Sam and then lie to me about it?!” Bucky unintentionally raised his voice.

“W—what?”

There were so many emotions overwhelming her and none of them was pleasant.

She was shocked, hurt and dejected. Bucky has never raised his voice at her before.

 “What were you doing together last night? And the night before and the night before that?!”

“Bucky, you’ve got it all wrong.” She shook her head, heartbroken that Bucky would think of her like that.

“Please leave.” He slid her off his lap and stood up, turning his back to her.

“Bucky.” Tears pricked her eyes.

“Leave, plum.”

“Bucky, me and Sam were—”

“If you won’t leave then I will.” Bucky sped to the door, grabbing his jacket from where it was hanged.

The last thing he wanted was to cry in front of her too. He’s already shown his weakness once; never again.

“Bucky!”

He ignored her calls, ready to run out of the door and let his legs take him far away where he’d have to hear no lies and could no longer get hurt.

“James Bucky Barnes, don’t you dare walk out on me!” She blocked the door, preventing Bucky from exiting the apartment.

Her eyes glistened with yet to be shed tears as her heart pounded in her chest. The mere idea of losing Bucky for any reason terrified her more than anything else.

She loved the man with her heart and soul and would go to the ends of the Earth for his sake. Why couldn’t he see that?

“I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise but… your book is a best seller. Me and Sam were planning you a party to celebrate. We figured if we met at the restaurant it’d ruin the surprise so I saw him at his place after work.”

Bucky stared at her dumbly.

“You can call Sam if you don’t believe me.”

“Oh.” Bucky felt like someone’s just dumped a bucket of cold water over his head; felt like an absolute idiot, “oh, plum.”

“I’m sorry I kept it a secret, but I’m not sorry I wanted to do something nice for the man I love.” A tear rolled down her cheek and her lower lip trembled, “and I’m really sad with you for stalking me and doubting me like that. I didn’t expect that from you, Bucky… and I’m hurt.”

“Sweet plum-”

“You can leave now if you still want to.” She took quick steps to the bedroom, leaving Bucky at the door.

It wasn’t often that she and Bucky fought and it was never something that couldn’t be solved within an hour. He could never bear to see her upset, let alone let her go to bed mad at him.

“Plum,” Bucky softly knocked on her door, swallowing the lump stuck in his throat, “can I please come in?”

But this was big.

Bucky has doubted her love for him. He has insulted her loyalty and ruined everything because of his insecurities and the poisonous words of a man who never cared for him.

She opened the door for him in a heartbeat, her face soaked in tears.

“No, no, sweet plum.” Bucky took her in his arms, praying to the deities she wouldn’t repel from his touch.

“You pushed me out of your lap.” She sobbed, her chest heaving and her forehead pressed to his shoulder.

His accusations hurt but the fact that he pushed her away somehow hurt her more.

Bucky couldn’t help but let his tears fall as well.

How could he be so thoughtless? She was the one good thing in his life and he almost let her go. No amount of restaurants he could open could make him feel as happy as a smile from her would.

He could write a library and collect every prize ever known to humankind, and she would still be the best thing Bucky has ever won over.

“I’m stupid, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hold tightened, engulfing her smaller frame in a desperate hug, “please don’t cry because of an idiot like me. I’m sorry, sweet plum. Forgive me, baby.”

“Why’d you do it?” Her sad eyes looked at him in question, full of confusion yet void of bitterness.

“I- sweet plum-” Bucky didn’t know how to answer her question because now that he looked back, he could see how stupid it all was.

Why did he follow her for 3 consecutive nights while she went to meet Sam instead of just trusting her? Why did he choose to believe and trust in Ryan’s words and not her love for him? Why was it easier for him to imagine her with someone like Sam but impossible to think of her with someone like himself?

“It’s because I’m a big idiot,” Bucky replied.

“Bucky.”

“Please forgive me, plum.” Bucky pecked her temple.

“Tell me what happened.”  She demanded softly, wiping Bucky’s own tears away and kissing his chin.

“Nothing happened, sweet plum. I got inside my own head again. I’m sorry, baby.” Bucky lied with a sad smile, too ashamed to admit Ryan’s words almost had him ruining the best relationship he’s ever been in.

She nodded understandingly, her hand cupping Bucky’s face as she rested his forehead on hers.

Bucky would tell her when he was ready. She didn’t want to stay mad at him. She knew he had issues with self confidence and she wasn’t about to make him feel even worse. He would come to her when he was comfortable. Bucky would tell her on his own.

“Please stay.” She whispered, her teary eyes heavy with sleep, yet afraid to go to bed and have Bucky leave after.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweet plum.” Bucky kissed her forehead, taking her by the hand to their bed.

~

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Her soothing voice whispered, filling the dark room.

Bucky was laying wide awake, Ryan’s words playing in his ears over and over again. What he did to his girl and how he made her cry. All the messed up shit he did just hours ago gnawed at him and took the sleep away from his eyes.

“I ran into Ryan,” Bucky finally replied, unable to sleep while he’s hiding something from her, “he filled my head with thoughts about you leaving me for Sam, and I let him.” He admitted to the ceiling, hesitant to meet her eyes.

“I would never leave you,” she promised him without reluctance, cupping his face and making him look at her.

She wanted him to see all the love her eyes held for him with no shame.

“Please don’t. I will lose the weight, I will—”

“Wait, what? He told you I’d leave you because of your weight?” Both hands were back on Bucky’s cheeks, thumbs wiping under his eyes.

Bucky nodded.

“And you believed him?”

“It’s why he left me.” He shrugged.

“Bucky,” she sighed.

“I know I know. It’s what’s on the inside that counts—”

“Don’t talk as if you’re not physically breathtaking!”

“Baby—”

“No! You have no idea how handsome you are, do you?!”

“Plum, you don’t have to say such stuff.” Bucky shook his head sheepishly and regretted it when he saw sadness cover her delicate features.

She quickly shook it off, scratching her forehead before taking Bucky’s hand, helping him sit up in their bed.

“Sweet plum, what are you doing?” Bucky asked when she started moving the covers down his torso.

“Gonna love on my man. Would you let me, Bucky? Can I love on you?” she asked, her voice soft and sweet.

Bucky nodded, hypnotized by the adoration shining in her eyes and she started to undress him.

Her eyes never left his as she took piece by piece of clothing off, revealing his beautiful figure to her, her smile only faltering when she bit down at the sight of her man in all his naked glory.

Bucky’s body was lit up under the soft moonlight coming from the window, helping her appreciate every curve and inch.

This gorgeous human being was his and he was hers.

“You’re so fucking sexy you take my breath away,” she moaned, slipping out of her own sweater, “and I don’t just mean the way you make me cum so many times until I have to fight for oxygen.” She brushed her lips on his.

Bucky was speechless. He could only stare and try not to lose his own oxygen.

“Keep your eyes open for me, Buck.” She pecked his lips once and he opened his eyes at once, not even realizing he’d closed them in the first place.

She smiled at how fast he followed the instruction, leaning back on the headboard and licking his lips.

Bucky’s groan when her bra hit the ground made her giggle. She slipped out of her panties, leaving herself bare before Bucky’s eyes.

“Come here, plum,” Bucky’s arms reached for her but she shook her head.

“This is about you, Bucky Bear.”

She climbed on the bed between Bucky’s legs, her hands wandering along his shins, thumbs caressing up his inner thighs. She bowed forward, peppering kisses on Bucky’s soft flesh.

“I love your thighs,” her lips moved higher and higher, the tiny kisses and nibbles driving Bucky crazy as he tried not to touch himself, “love how thick they are. So strong. So perfect. I would ride them all day if you’d let me.”

Bucky whimpered when she accompanied the honest words with a bite, leaving her mark on his pale flesh.

“And that ass,” she moaned, her hands sliding underneath Bucky, pulling his legs up and cupping his ass cheeks.

Bucky’s shy gasp made her smirk. He was so precious she could eat him. Maybe she should some day…

She let Bucky’s legs settle back on the bed and kept kissing up and up, skipping his twitching cock on purpose and placing wet kisses on his tummy instead. Her eyes locked with his and Bucky bit his pink lip.

He looked so beautiful, blushing, disheveled and turned on like that. His pupils were dilated, his cheeks rosy and his breath uneven; she was falling in love with this chef all over again.

“I love your tummy so so much,” her tongue dipped in Bucky’s bellybutton and the flush spread from his cheeks and on to his neck and chest.

Another moan slipped from his lips as her warm tongue lapped at his skin. She was full on licking him now.

Her words were romantic but the way she was loving him was driving him insane.

“I love to feel it against me when we hug,” she kissed his right side, “I love when you let me rest my head on it and I get to hear you breathe and feel your heartbeat,” she kissed his belly, “I love how it warms my back when you spoon me. And I love feeling it pushing against my ass when you take me from behind.” She pressed a final kiss to his left side.

“My favourite has got to be your cock though.” She gave his leaking dick a single pump and his hips were already bucking off the bed, “I’m a sucker for this cock, baby. Literally.”

Bucky was too busy whining when her mouth wrapped around the crown of his cock to call her out on her bad joke.

His whole body was on fire with need for her. He needed her to do something, anything.

“Plum, please. Let me get you ready. I need you. I need to be inside you.”

Bucky didn’t want to cum in her mouth, not this time. He needed to be buried deep inside her and he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to last.

“I’m ready,” she said, situating herself on top of his cock, rubbing the tip on her wet folds, letting out filthy mewls at the feel of him against the lips of her pussy, “always ready for you, baby.”

Before Bucky could argue that he should at least make sure she was prepared to take him just in case, she was pushing the tip of him in, stretching herself out on his cock with her head thrown back and her mouth open in a silent scream.

“Fuck, plum, so tight,” Bucky groaned, feeling her pussy grip every inch as soon as it disappeared inside her.

When she has completely impaled herself on Bucky’s cock, she stilled, taking a minute to get used to the stretch.

No burn has ever felt as good as the burn she got when Bucky’s dick split her in half. Getting opened on this cock was her favorite thing in the world.

She dragged her lips along his stubbly jaw as she waited, kissing all over his face, savoring the moment as sweetly as possible as if the head of Bucky’s cock wasn’t almost touching up her cervix.

Her open palms glided from around Bucky’s neck to his shoulders and down his arms until she reached his palms.

“and those hands, I think you already know how much I love your hands.” She chuckled as she continued and Bucky nodded, squirming below her.

“I love when you hold my hand; makes me feel safe; chosen,” she rolled her hips, making Bucky groan wantonly.

“I love how fast you can make me cum on the fingers of your left hand.” She whined when Bucky’s hands dug in her sides as she moved on him, surely leaving bruises behind.

“Fuck, plum-” Bucky was so close so fast and he wished he could last longer but the movement of her body on top of his, the words leaving her mouth and her walls snug around his cock were too much.

“I love you. Every inch, every part. I love all of you, Bucky.”

Bucky groaned in reply, chest heaving as he watched her take him.

“I love every part of you. I crave your touch like my lungs crave air.”

Bucky involuntarily thrust up, making her eyes roll.

“Oh Buck!” she wailed, Bucky hitting her favorite spots so good.

He couldn’t stop his hips from meeting hers every time she came down to take his cock over and over again, eyes glued to where he was disappearing inside of her.

“Nothing could ever match the feeling of being filled up of you, Bucky.”

“I love you, plum ahhh fuck,” Bucky moaned, overwhelmed by emotions and ready to burst any second.

“I love you too, Bucky bear. You’re my everything; my one and only.” She kissed him hard, thighs shaking around his body as she came on his cock.

Bucky couldn’t help but let go himself, cumming harder than he has ever before, filling her up with so much cum until he felt it leak out of her despite having her plugged on his softening cock.

She moaned at the warmth of his cum, shuddering when it seeped out of her.

“Fuck, plum,” Bucky sighed on her shoulder, breath still shaky.

She giggled shyly, burying her face in Bucky’s neck.

“Where did that come from?” Bucky asked, cupping her cheek so he could look at her.

She was glowing, smiling at him so innocently as if his cock wasn’t still buried deep up her leaking, pulsing pussy.

“From here.” She pointed to the spot between her breasts.

“Right here?” Bucky leaned forward to press a kiss on her hot skin, making her laugh as she nodded.

“I love you,” he whispered on her lips.

“I love you, Bucky. I love every tiny detail about you inside out. Nothing will ever change that.” She promised, seeing his eyes soften once again, insecurity dissipating.

“Thank you, plum.” Bucky hugged her close, kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck.

“Thank you for letting me show you how much I love you.”

“So you love my cock huh?” Bucky teased.

“Buckyyyy,” she whined, trying to get away as her face heated up.

“No, say it.” Bucky bit his lip, looking at her with a smirk.

“You know I do. Stop.”

“No, plum. I don’t know anything.” Bucky shook his head trying to act serious, “say it again.”

“Iloveyourcock,” she mumbled, trying to take herself off his cock.

“What was that, plum?” Bucky thrust upward into her and even with a soft cock he could make her make the sweetest sound.

“Hngh, I love your cock, Bucky,” she moaned, throwing her head back.

“Hmm, how much?” Bucky swirled his hips, feeling himself get hard again.

“S-so much,” she admitted as his cock stretched her sensitive pussy.

Bucky held her close, turning them the other way around and gave a deep push when he was on top, his cum making the filthiest squelching sounds as she screamed an “oh god”.

“So much you’d let me take you again?”

“Yes, yes,” she nodded frantically, not wanting the man to stop his thrusts.

And he wasn’t going to.

Bucky’s tummy pinned her down as he pressed his lips to hers, eating up her squeals as he pounded her into the bed, showing her how much he loved her.

~

“So you really don’t care about my weight?” Bucky asked, supporting his body up on his elbows as he stared at her glossy eyes.

She could barely remember her name as she tried to come down from the other two orgasms Bucky has just given her, his body still on top of hers, but that wasn’t a question she needed to think about the answer to.

“I only want you okay and healthy, Bucky. If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Otherwise, you’re perfect to me,” she told him with a shrug, pushing his wet hair behind his ears, “every little thing about you is perfect.”

“I love you so much, plum.”

“I love you more.” She smiled, heart fluttering at the look he was giving her.

“Not possible.” Bucky kissed her lips, “not possible, plum.”

~

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[wordsbymae]

nooo the wandering eyes😭 farmer, you were supposed to be different</3

would he ever see the insecurity of his little mouse? them trying to change to be more like people that he keeps looking at? and i'll be patiently waiting for the breaking point of mousey you mentioned, dear author👀

- 💫

Hehe my bad. If it helps, older farmer only has eyes for his pumpkin. But unfortunately, we're talking about Playboy Farmer so yeah his eyes wander slightly. He by no means ever acts on it, won't even talk to whoever he's eyeing. He's just a stupid man who doesn't see how it could count as cheating. To answer your question....maybe, most likely not. Mouse doesn't go out very much so it's only once or twice they notices this happening, and like most insecurities, it festers under their skin for a long time.

It starts small, eyes darting to look at their reflection before glancing away, worrying about how their clothes fit or how their hair looks. And despite telling the farmer they didn't really care what that cruel person said, those words dart around their head, causing doubt and worry. It's manageable though. Especially since they don't see many people so there are not many to compare themselves to.

But then they go out one weekend. To some market or fair or whatever. They walk hand in hand through the grounds, the farmer almost bored but still willing to be dragged where ever his sweet mousey wishes to go.

He stands behind them as they try to win a stuffed cow. Mousey's aim was shocking, but he knew they like to have a go first before passing the toy rifle over to him. He begins to lose interest, eyes wandering away.

Then a flash of skin catches his eye. A snake dancer is passing by, barely wearing anything at all, skin open for all to see. Long legs and a pretty face. Can you blame the double take he did, the low whistle and the roaming eyes from head to toe?

Mousey can. They turned when he whistled, thinking he was proud of the shot they just took. He was always saying they couldn't shoot for shit. Instead, they turn to see him lusty after a scantly clad figure, dancing with a snake roaming across their limbs. They dance with a fever, golden cloth shimmering in the light, eyes dark and seductive. Mouse watches as his eyes gaze at them in hunger, his mouth smirking. Mousey can't recall him ever looking at them like that.

They throw the gun onto the table and march away, tears blurring their vision. How could they compete with someone like that? So gorgeous that it hurt to look at them. They never dressed like that, acted like that, looked like that or even felt like that. They were just as plain as a mouse, nothing special or to write home to, nothing but someone to settle for.

Because that's why the farmer was with them, wasn't it? No one else wanted him, so he settled for what he could get. A boring little mousey. They rushed away, trying desperately to cover their tears.

It took the farmer a regrettable minute to realise mouse was gone. His eyes followed the dancer until they turned a corner and then he swung back around to see how his pretty mouse was getting on. Only to find them missing. His eyes darted around in fear and worry. Where did they run off to? did something happen?

He rushed forward into the crowd. His mousey was missing and wasn't gonna waste one second.

~~~~~~~~~~

He finds them sitting on the tray on his truck, eyes red and cheeks puffy. They were hunched over and tight lipped staring at the muddy ground below.

"Darlin'!" he called, "where the hell you bin, I've been lookin' for you everywhere. You got me worried sick"

You gave a loud sniff and turned your eyes away

"Why you cryn', someone say something? Was it that shit head?" he asked, hands finding your checks.

You flinched away from him, grimising as his touch.

"No body said anything" you grumbled, wishing he would just leave you alone

"Somebody do somethin then? Who was it" he growled. "You just give me a name, hell a face, and I'll fix it"

"You" you whispered with anger. "You did it. You're the reason I'm crying. You're the reason the night's been ruined"

"What I do mousey!" he huffed, "is it cause I wasn't watchin' ya shot the cans. I was watching, I swear!"

"How could you? you clearly had your eyes elsewhere! Couldn't peal them off, not even long enough to see me leave!" anger was rising now, pain morphing into a rage

"Now sweet-" he tried, his mistake now clear to him

"Do you even love me? Or are you just settling down with the only person who would be desperate enough to stay with you" came a growl

"Of course I love you!"

he was getting mad now, you could tell, defensive even.

"You show that love by eye fucking strangers? hm?" you jumped from the tray and gave him a light pushback. "I saw the way you looked at them! Like, like you actually wanted them. Like you were desperate for them!"

He let you advance upon him, his mind struggling to keep up. He just looked, why was it such a problem to just look?

"I would never cheat on you darlin'. Never" His hands were raised now in surrender or in defence you weren't too sure.

"Why should I believe you? It's a look today, a touch tomorrow and then next thing I know you're fucking them in our bed!" you shouted, eyes narrowed in hurt. This was apparently too far for him.

"Now you listen here mouse, I admit I ain't no church boy, not some holier than thou man free of sin. But I would never betray you like that, in our bed or anywhere. You are the only thing I care about." He huffed, rough hands gripping your shoulders tight. Love and pain were clear in his eyes.

"So yeah, I looked at someone else, my eyes do sometimes wander" You gave a groan of disgust "But! But they always come back to you. Come on darlin' let's just forget about this and head on home yeah? Or I can win you that stuffed cow you were after."

"I can't just forget!" you sneered.

"Well, why the hell not! Have you at least tried?"

"I can't forget because you don't look at me like that!"

Silence lingered, tears fell a bit further, and hands slipped away from your shoulders.

"You don't look at me like you want me" you whispered, "or like you're desperate to touch me, to have me. You just..... look at me, but never like how you looked at them"

"You can be real fucking dumb sometimes honey"

"Excuse me?"

"Of course, I don't look at you like that" he scoffed, and your heart fell "I ain't looking at you like that cause unlike anyone else, I need you. Like I need air to breathe or water to live. Without you, I'd die of heartbreak"

"Yeah right" you mumble

"It's true! Without you, I'd drink myself dead in a matter of days! And when I look at you, I look at you like I'm fucking in love with you, 'cause I am. So why would I look at someone like how I look at you? "

You stumbled over what to say, how to answer but nothing came out.

"And also I look at you like I wanna fuck you all the time, you just don't see me looking. Which is good for me 'cause I get to catch you in some pretty naughty situations" He smirked before a well-aimed slap to the arm changed his mouth to a small ow.

"If I ever, and I mean ever catch you looking at someone else you can sleep with the dogs"

"Aye, aye captain," he said, giving a mock salute as you giggled.

"You're not so easily forgiven though"

"Oh? And how does the light and love of my life wish me to be punished for my misdeeds?"

"Go be a man and win me that cow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

In all seriousness though, looking at other people like he did isn't very faithful at all and would be something I would struggle to forgive, but this is fiction sooooo

Tag list: @floraroselaughter

#farmer oc #insecure reader #insecure!reader #tw insecurity #insecure thoughts #yandere farmer #gn reader