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#ellie williams x insecure!reader
savannahsdeath · 9 months
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heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3
ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??
writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞
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it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.
either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.
the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.
that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.
suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"
she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.
you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.
you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.
you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.
what if she sees me the way i see myself?
your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.
"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.
you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.
pretty.
girl.
those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.
"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.
she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.
you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.
"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.
you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.
it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."
she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.
she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.
ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.
as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"
"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."
with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.
a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.
what am i doing?
ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.
but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.
"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.
you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.
you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.
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cyberels · 2 months
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meeting bartender!ellie headcanons
(aka i saw a bartender tiktok and i got to thinkin…)
-> ok my girl is a DORK fr she’s not gonna be like ‘hey baby here’s ur drink u down to fuck after my shift?’
-> she’s more the type to get so flustered when you’re ordering that she makes you repeat the entire order.
consider:
u go up to her and u look so cute she can’t even focus.
“hey, can i get two shots of tequila and a vodka cran?”
“yeah, of course! and what shots did you say you wanted?”
“…tequila.”
“ok! and what was the drink?”
“………….a vodka cran.”
-> SHES SMILING BUT THE SECOND SHE TURNS AROUND TO MAKE THE DRINKS HER FACE DROPS BECAUSE OF HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS
literally like 😁 -> 😟
-> she gives u ur drinks and u r like wanna take a shot with me ??? :D
(OF COURYSE SHE AWNABTBS TO TAKE A SHOT WITJ YUO ARE YOU CRAZY)
-> “uh. yeah, sure.”
-> n then yall take the shots and the alc kinda spills down ur chin a lil and ellie is STARING cuz HELLO?)????,?,!,!,
-> after talking with her for a second u scurry off back to ur friends
-> and then you go back up a few times, ordering drinks you don’t want just so u can talk to her
-> “……you know i’m gonna have to cut you off, you’ve ordered like… 10 drinks.”
-> “….sorry, i didn’t drink them all. i just wanted to talk to you.”
-> WHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT
-> ????? aghsjfjskfkdkfkfkdkdkdkdsklfflglclvxllvlfvldlckckc
-> “oh… OH.”
-> URE LIKE OH?!;!;,!?! IS THAT ALL SHES GONNA SAY ?!!?
-> “sorry i don’t mean to bother—“ u start but ellie interrupts u
-> “—NO YOURE NOT BOTHERING ME IM SORRY.”
-> shes not very good at this so she grabs a napkin and scribbles her number on it and hands it to you
-> YOUR HANDS BRUSH AGAINST EACHOTHER AND ELLIE IS LIKE 😳 SORRY
-> and the way you giggle at her AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH she could die
-> shes so flustered aww
-> “i’ll text you.” you wink
-> YESSSSSS YESSSSS YESSSSS
-> she’s so happy she could jump up and down if that was socially acceptable
-> n then u text her when she gets home from her shift and ure like let’s grab lunch sometime??? 💗
-> she could die once again because YES SHE WANTS TO GET LUNCH WITH YOU IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION
i’d prob change things around a little bit buuuttt same concept
masterlist
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vvynia · 3 months
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ellie is so artsy and nerdy and i feel like this fandom doesn’t play into that as much as we should (yes this does mean i’m getting 12 am ellie fic ideas). like she loves drawing and painting so much to where she feels inclined to dedicate an entire space to it, she has a connection to playing guitar deeper than the center of the earth and thicker than blood, and she reads comic books in her free time and loves space and dinosaurs.
everything about this woman screams some kind of art major and i love it. she’d probably have an etsy or tattoo shop and def wants to paint you seriously but is too shy to ask bc she’s afraid you might think its weird.
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elliesmainhoe · 10 months
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hi! LOVE your work btw slay every time😍
i was wondering if u could do a ellie with a gf who’s insecure ab her body (totally not self-indulgent😮) and how ellie would look after and reassure her 
thank you so much <3
Ellie Williams Headcanons: Insecure!Reader
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Your so real for this bae
Ellie is absolutely flabbergasted at the idea of you being insecure
Because to her your just so perfect?!?
From every dip in your skin, to every scar you've earned.
She loves every little bit of you.
So much to the extent that she'd probably be able to recite where every mole, birthmark and freckle on your body is.
Can tell when your feeling down even if you don't communicate those feelings
And ofc she's going above and beyond to express how beautiful she thinks you are.
Normally she's already a push over when it comes to affection but she turns it up to the absolute max
Ugh- Is always hitting you with the "Hey beautiful" and .That. Shit. Eating. smirk 🙄❤️
Kisses every part of you that your insecure about. Stretch marks? Smooch. Thighs? Smooch. Nose? She's smooching.
If your really feeling the self-doubt, this girl knows how to make you forget about it iykyk
Makes you so flustered all the time with her ceaseless compliments.
Has a photo of you as her phones wallpaper and always shows it to her friends with a 'Look how pretty my girl is'
Has no shame
She is a simp. Through and through.
Writes positive affirmations and compliments on sticky notes and hides them around for you to find.
In your lunch box, in your coat pocket, inside your makeup bag.
She's such an angel.
She thinks it's adorable how camera shy you are
And always enjoys snapping pictures of you when your not looking.
She always asks if she can post them- and if you say no she'll save them into her eyes only folder.
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Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @eywaskisses @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @ellies-girl @escaping-reality8 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm @hi2647 @gumdropkoo @coffeeandbookskeepmealive @womaniza @namgification @kimiisims-blog @tayyyystan @abigaillovestoread @whoreshores @kylieeluvstlou @knowitsforthebetterr @endureher @erikaar @lanasluverr @sayah13 @ilovebufflesbians @srryhoneyy @222fine444u @jade1212 @frogtits1 @casually-simping @amoebagrl @darleneslane
Guess who's back from the dead~~~
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clemnchai · 1 year
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my baby.
🪽in which your friend ellie realizes she’s in love with you.
you two were laying face to face in ellie’s bed, the conversation at hand suddenly becoming more and more vulnerable as the night passed by with the discussion of insecurities being brought up. “uhh… i dont think i have any insecurities?” she said as a question almost, as if she were unsure about her answer. “i’m scared of ending up alone though. y’know, if that counts for anything..” she says with a shrug. “you?” “i dunno…” you look away from her eyes. “cmonnn. y’know i wouldn’t judge you. now tell me.. please.” she says as she scans your face. you got quiet and the room became stagnant as you search for the words you wanted to express. “ i dunno, i think—fuck.” you shut your eyes as you feel the burning tears well up. “sometimes i feel so…. unlovable..” you open your eyes to look at ellie. you didn’t mean to get choked up like this, blaming it on the weed provided by ellie but u knew there was more to it. her forest green eyes stared back at you, searching your eyes, scanning your face. you felt pliant and soft under her gaze — like an egg yolk threatening to break. you felt… translucent. it’s as if her eyes looked beyond your body and through your soul. she slowly lifted her hand and gently put it on your cheek. slowly rubbing your tear stained cheeks with her thumb and hummed softly under her breath.
“i’ve always thought you were the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen.” she whispered— as if it were a secret. as if it could get her in trouble. ellie looks at you like you hung the stars and moon. like you placed each individual star in the sky one by one. this is when ellie realized how hard shes fallen for you, because all she thought in that moment was how perfect you are.
- ˚ʚ♡a ɞ˚
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abbysleftbicepp · 3 months
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can you write a one shot of ellie williams comforting you through insecurities?
Yess thank u for the request!!!
Warnings: insecurities, talk of body parts, mentions of s3lf h@rm, fluff, angst(?), lmk if I missed any!!
Ellie Williams x insecure fem!reader modern au
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It was 5pm. You were getting ready to go to a formal event with Ellie. It was an event for the 10 year anniversary of the place you worked at opening, so obviously they invited you considering you worked there, and you decided to bring your girlfriend as you didn’t want to be alone.
When you took off your towel after drying yourself, you stared at your naked body in the mirror and sighed. You wished that you left the window shut so that the steam would be coated on the mirror.
You turned to each side, examining every minor detail that you hated about yourself. Sucking in your stomach, pulling at back rolls, you were disgusted by what you saw.
Scars laced your skin on your arms and thighs, reminding you of every time you wanted out of your body. Reminding you of your worth (or at least how you thought you were worth).
Before you knew it, tears rolled down your cheeks while you looked at yourself with anger and appal, wishing you looked like all the other girls you knew.
You didn’t understand why Ellie loved you, why she wasn’t appalled by your body. You didn’t understand how she loved every cell in your body, and you didn’t understand why she chose you out of all the other girls who swooned to her feet.
You then got closer to the mirror to examine your face. Oh how you wished your face were like the others you saw on Pinterest. You rubbed your fingers over your acne scars, wishing you could make them disappear.
You rubbed the eye bags that darkened your face, you desperately tried to cover them up with makeup, but no amount of products could hide the lack of sleep you were getting these days.
The tears fell heavier as you looked away from the mirror. In the door way, Ellie stood quietly observing.
“Hey..what’s wrong babe?” She asked softly.
“Why don’t you hate what you see when you look at me..?” You asked hesitantly. You knew what her response would be, but you needed the reassurance.
“Because every time I look at you I fall in love deeper and deeper each time.” She smiled at you.
“I love your tummy, I love your back rolls, I love your scars, I love your face, I love your everything. You wanna know why that is?” She walked towards you, kissing each place that she mentioned.
“Why?” You sniffled, wiping the tears that kept falling.
“Because they’re what makes you, you. And I am so deeply, truly and utterly in love with you.” She expressed, holding your hands and staring into your eyes with an adoring smile.
“But I don’t like what I see.” You retorted, still not feeling better.
“Hey! Stop talking about my future wife like that!” Ellie joked, trying to cheer you up. You eventually let out a chuckle, hugging Ellie.
“I think I should start getting ready or else we’ll be late.” You announced, pulling away from the warm embrace.
You slipped on a red, silky gown that you had chosen to wear, and Ellie just stared in awe.
“That’s my beautiful Angel.” She beamed, hugging you from behind.
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guys please i need an abby or ellie x plus sized reader so badly 🙏🙏🙏
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waterhousse · 7 months
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Invisible String
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pairing: college!ellie williams x reader
summary: a week in your life where someone leaves you an anonymous note and you also meet a cute girl in one of your classes.
author’s note: this is un(necessarily) LONG, so take your time to read it. i hope you still enjoy it !! <3
• • • •
monday
you were in front of your dorm, digging for your keys in the mess of your backpack when a high-pitched voice yelled your name. of course, it could only belong to you best friend, blair. you prepared yourself to receive one of her bone-crushing hugs.
“there you are! i sent you like a million messages!”
“everything okay?” you asked before pulling away.
“yeah, i just have a little proposal.”
you narrowed your eyes at her, “what are you scheming?”
“you see, my gorgeous boyfriend is throwing this massive party on friday—”
“immediately no.”
“oh, c’mon!” she grumbled. “it’s been like five months since the last time we went out together. i miss my drunk little partner,” she pouted, pinching your cheek.
you let out a laugh, softly pushing away her hand out of your face. “i’m not exactly in a party mood, blair. i’m sorry.”
you made a poor attempt to avoid eye contact, but the weight of her stare was a difficult one to ignore. you looked back at her, already defeated.
“it’s nothing serious, but i’ve just been feeling a little insecure. and i’m okay,” you were quick to clarify, “i just want to stay in my dorm and watch a movie or something. it’s only temporary, i’ll feel better soon. you know i always do,” you opened the door and waited for her to inside first.
“how many times do i have to tell you you’re gorgeous for you to believe me? look at you!”
“blair—”
“i’m serious.”
“i know you are. thank you,” you replied softly. “forget about it, let’s just go inside. i’m tired and i wanna sleep.”
your friend had a worried look on her face, but decided to drop the subject, “still no roommate?”
“nope,” you grinned, closing the door behind you. “i’d invite you to live with me but you’re too busy staying at your boyfriend’s,” you teased her.
“can you blame me? his apartment is the size of a million of these dorms combined,” she exaggerated. “besides, he’s the sweetest man to ever exist. he’s every girl’s dream.” she sighed dreamily as she threw herself on the unoccupied bed. you raised your eyebrows at her, to which she rolled her eyes. “if he were a girl you’d be after him, too.”
after your friend bragged about her boyfriend for a few more minutes, both of you ended up falling asleep, totally drained from your long, boring classes. you woke up two hours later thanks to blair’s boyfriend who called her wondering where she was.
“wanna go grab some coffee? he’s paying!” blair offered with a big smile, which you returned.
“maybe he is every girl’s dream after all.”
you and blair headed outside shortly after, gossiping about people you didn’t even know. suddenly, your sleepy eyes spotted something strange on the door, more specifically, on the whiteboard you had outside. someone had left an anonymous message on it.
the prettiest girl on campus (and of everywhere else too) i wish i could come up with the courage to talk to you. guess i’ll just admire you from afar
ps: not in a creepy way
ps2: seriously sorry if this is creepy
you stared blankly at the message, reading it over and over again.
“did you do this?”
“hold on, i’m looking for that one tweet i saw. i’m telling you, she’s cheating on him—”
“blair!”
she finally looked up from her phone, “what?”
“did you do this?” you pointed at the board.
her expression comically changed from confusion to extreme excitement, eyes widened and mouth hung open. an over exaggerated gasp left her lips before she grabbed you by the shoulders.
“oh my god! you have a secret admirer!”
“no, i don’t. that’s probably not for me. someone must’ve mistaken my dorm for somebody else’s.”
“your name is literally on that board. besides, you are the prettiest girl to ever exist, so, i’m pretty sure they’re not mistaken.” blair kept looking at the note, meticulously analyzing it. “let’s pray it’s not a man who wrote this. imagine if he confesses his feelings for you in person. he’d be in for a very awkward rejection.”
you tried to downplay the situation by telling blair it was probably just a joke, but on the inside you couldn’t stop wondering who did it. as you walked down the hallway, you discreetly checked the whiteboards from the other dorms. all they had were random doodles and people’s names, nothing else.
tuesday
you were currently sitting under a big tree, admiring the sunset. birds chirped softly at the distance, adding even more magic to the beautiful scenery in front of you, but even the peaceful atmosphere that surrounded you wasn’t enough to calm your racing mind.
the anonymous note was certainly the most interesting thing that had happened to you in a while, but you were a serial overthinker. besides making you feel extremely curious about the identity of the person who wrote it, it had also made you spiral about the way you acted towards strangers.
being content with your small circle, you never put any effort in starting conversations with someone you didn’t already know. you felt as if you didn’t need anyone else in your life, but was that a mistake? what if the mystery person tried talking to you but you acted uninterested? what if they attempted to make eye contact but you were too busy staring down?
the most important question spinning around your head was how many special bonds had you lost simply because of your behavior?
as your silent crisis continued, the sun began to disappear on the horizon until it was fully dark. your eyes quickly found the moon, with the sky being clear, you could see her perfectly.
you took out your phone to take some pictures of the satellite, as well as everything else around you. the trees, your coffee cup, an empty bench and an orange cat that was laying next to it.
just as you were taking photos of the cute animal, someone crouched down next to him to pet him. that was the moment you saw her. a girl you had never seen before, but who managed to catch your attention right away. she was simply beautiful. many people, places, art pieces and more had been described with that adjective, but in your mind, that unknown girl was the first being in history to be worthy of it. you were completely mesmerized.
you put down your phone and watched the sweet moment develop in front of you. you could tell she was speaking to the cat, who seemed to really enjoy her company. the girl got up after a few minutes, giving the cat one last scratch between his ears before leaving. a frown instantly appeared on her face the moment she looked away from the animal, making you chuckle. she looked absolutely intimidating, the total opposite of what you had just witnessed.
your eyes followed her until she disappeared from your sight, but her image stayed on your mind for the rest of the day.
wednesday
you were having one of those days when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. you had slept through your alarm, didn’t have time to have breakfast, couldn’t find your books and forgot your jacket on your way out. one may think it couldn’t get worse, well, unfortunately, it could.
you felt your soul escape your body when the, feared by many, physics professor laid his demonic eyes on you. you were certain you looked insane; hair a total mess, completely out of breath and slightly shaking from your nervousness.
“class started ten minutes ago,” his strident voice echoed in the big classroom. you didn’t even need to look to know everyone’s eyes were on you.
“i know,” your voice pathetically quivered. “sorry.”
“for your information, if you have somewhere to be you wake early enough to make it on time. it’s not rocket science, all of your classmates did it.” when he got no reply from you, he sighed. “there’s only one more seat available at the back. lucky for you, you’ll be sitting next to one of my best students. maybe you could be friends, she could teach you how to get here on time.”
with your eyes glued to the floor, you walked straight to where the professor pointed to without making a sound. you tried your best to ignore your classmates’ stares, but they lacked discretion.
fortunately for you, a nice surprised awaited you. the student the professor mentioned was none other than the girl you had seen the day before. she was even more beautiful up-close, which wasn’t exactly a good thing. she had just witnessed your most embarrassing moment. still, her eyes radiated kindness.
“this guy’s an idiot. you were only a few minutes late and didn’t even miss much. he was just struggling to turn on the projector the whole time,” the girl whispered at you once you sat down.
you were ready to reply with just a ‘yeah’, but the crisis you had the day before stopped you.
“he’s the worst,” you replied instead. “i always feel on the verge of puking whenever he looks at me,” the regret you felt after saying that was immediate, fearing it was too much information.
you felt yourself relax at the sound of her laugh, and of course it had to be the most heavenly sound you had ever heard.
“i’m ellie williams,” she leaned in, reaching over for your hand. you introduced yourself as your brain started mindlessly picking up details about her, like the fact that she had many freckles scattered all over her face.
you held her gaze for a few seconds before looking back at the professor, who had begun talking about punctuality. he sent you multiple looks during his whole speech, you found it hilarious. he looked like as if his eyes were about to pop out of his sockets.
trying to act as normal as possible, you grabbed your water bottle and took a sip in an attempt to calm down. you realized that was a huge mistake once you glanced at ellie, who was trying her hardest to hold in her laugh. you almost spit out your water when she made eye contact with you, causing you to choke.
“shit, you alright?” she leaned in, now fully laughing, and patted your back.
“yes— yeah,” you managed to say in between your coughing and laughing. you looked around, noticing how quiet the classroom had gotten. yours’ and ellie’s voices were the only thing cutting through the deadly silence. “sorry, i choked on water— sorry,” you apologized to the professor, who was impatiently tapping his foot on the floor.
“may i continue, ladies? is that okay with you two or should i wait for you to be done?” neither of you answered, so he let out one of his classic sighs. “as i was saying…”
the moment he looked away, you covered your face with your hands, trying to muffle the giggles that were escaping your lips. ellie was in the same state as you, which only made things worse.
“if he didn’t hate me before, he sure does now,” you whispered, eyes sparkling with amusement. “why does he have to be such a dick? it’s not like a choked on purpose. i could’ve died,” you dramatized.
actually, it’d be very rare to die from choking on a liquid, ellie almost said, but she didn’t want you to think she was a smart-ass. instead, she just kept laughing.
silence grew between the two of you as you came back to your notes and tried to pay attention to the class. ellie’s eyes inevitably fell on you again, trying to come up with something to say to keep the conversation going.
“you know, i, personally, wouldn’t take advice from a person like him, but i think he’s right about us being friends.”
“yeah, i think he is,” you warmly smiled before looking down at your notes again, unable to hold her gaze.
having fun in physics class seemed impossible at the beginning of the semester, but it had actually happened. you and ellie talked the whole time, which made the minutes go by faster than expected and also annoyed everyone around you.
“see you next wednesday? try to be on time, though. i don’t want him to kill you in front of the whole class.”
you laughed at ellie’s words and nodded, “see you next week.”
i really hope it’s sooner than that, the thought appeared in your mind without warning. you watched ellie go, a shy smile appeared on your lips when she glanced back at you and caught you staring.
the rest of the morning felt boring and uneventful in comparison to physics class, so you were really excited to finally be back at your dorm. your tired eyes fell on the whiteboard, no message from the mystery person. you tried to ignore how weirdly disappointed you felt and went inside, telling yourself it had been, probably, a one time thing.
thursday
shyness had never been a problem for you but, still, socializing wasn’t really your thing. if there was a chance for you to avoid interaction with strangers, you took it, so it was certainly weird seeing ellie at the dining hall and feeling an intense need to say hi. good thing she wasn’t exactly a stranger, right?
she was sitting alone in one of the most secluded tables, eyes focused on her phone. without giving it much thought, you walked towards her, but you began second guessing your decision once you realized she probably wanted to be alone. your steps became more hesitant the closer you got to her and just as you were about to turn around and leave she looked up. her surprised expression quickly changed into a delighted one.
“hey,” she greeted as she took off her headphones.
“hi,” you smiled back as a feeling of panic started setting in. you had absolutely no idea of what to say to her.
“you can sit if you’d like,” she offered, gesturing to the seat in front of her.
“you’re not busy? i can leave if you alone if—”
“no way,” ellie shook her head and, with her foot, pushed the chair towards you before looking up at you. “c’mon, sit.”
the moment you sat down, she leaned forward. you, instinctively, leaned back, but kept your hands just a few inches away from hers. you bit the inside of your cheek, trying your hardest to hold her gaze.
“so, how you’ve been? had any nightmares about our beloved professor yelling at you?” ellie asked, amused. you internally thanked her for starting the conversation.
“i can see his spit flying at me in slow motion whenever i close my eyes,” you replied, making ellie laugh. “that was definitely the last time i’m late to class. i hate attention, if i have to go through something like that again i’ll just die on the spot.”
ellie’s smile hadn’t faded since the moment she saw you, “just try not to be late to any of his classes, he’s the only one who gives you shit for that,” she adviced. “i knew he was insane because i’ve heard about it, so i tried to get on his good side by always being early. i considered sitting at the front, too, but that was too much.”
“you always sit at the back?”
“yeah, i don’t like having people behind me. for some reason, it really freaks me out knowing someone is staring at the back of my head.”
you hummed in response, mind deep in thought. you never looked at the back when you entered the classroom, in fact, you kept your head down, but ellie had always been there.
how many special bonds had you lost simply because of your behavior?
“hey, my friend’s boyfriend is throwing a party this friday, i was wondering if you’d like to go.”
“cool, yeah, of course,” ellie quickly replied.
“yeah?” you beamed, biting down your bottom lip.
“yes,” she nodded, the corners of her mouth quirking up again, “can i bring a friend?”
“sure,” you smiled. you took out a pen and a post-it from your backpack and wrote the address before sticking it on her hand. your eyes wandered further and ended up on her watch. without a second thought, you grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to you, tilting your head to see the time. “shit, i gotta go to class, but i’ll see you friday?”
“see you then,” ellie said, but she didn’t want you to leave, and you didn’t want to go either. she hesitated before calling your name, making you turn around. “can i walk you to class?”
the question lingered in the air as you processed it. it had caught you completely off guard, which ellie could tell just by seeing your expression. fearing she messed up, time began moving slower and slower to her until you finally accepted her offer with a huge grin on your face.
ellie released the air stuck in her lungs before catching up with you. anyone with a pair of working eyes could see how nervous the two of you were, except yourselves. you were too busy focused on not to embarrass yourself by tripping and ellie was trying to regulate her breathing. neither of you dared to talk because it would make it too obvious, but ellie finally broke the silence once you stepped outside, asking you what class you had.
you had always hated small talk because you feared there’d be a point in which you wouldn’t know what else to say, but that moment never came with ellie. the conversation flowed smoothly between smiles and chuckles from the both of you.
“oh, look!” she suddenly said, casually grabbing you by your shoulder as if she had done it a thousand times before. you followed her line of sight and gasped when your eyes spotted a familiar orange cat. it was the same one you had seen ellie pet when you didn’t even know her yet. “wanna go say hi?”
“how is that even a question?”
ellie was the first one to approach him, crouching down in front of him. you copied her action a second later, already eager to pet him.
“his name is orange. original, right?” ellie sarcastically asked, gaining a laugh from you. “i didn’t name him, by the way. he has a tag with his name.”
“hi, little guy,” you pouted, scratching the back of his head.
“he must live nearby because he’s always here,” ellie told you. “he’s missing an eye, but he’s still cute, right?” she glanced over her shoulder.
you two were close. closer than a simple girl like ellie could handle. your perfume was all that she could smell, you were the only thing she could look at and her own heartbeat was the only sound she could hear.
“he’s the cutest,” you chuckled.
you stayed there for a couple more minutes. ellie told you about the first time she saw orange and you told her about the pets you had back home. it was such a sweet conversation, both of you using soft voices to not scare the cat away.
“alright, let’s go. i don’t want you being late to another class,” ellie told you as she stood up. “see you later, dude,” she waved at orange. surprisingly, the cat meowed back. “we’re best friends,” ellie jokingly bragged as both of you began to walk again.
“do you think he’ll accept me as a friend, too?”
“oh, absolutely. he loves you already.”
you ended up getting to class just in time, but you wouldn’t have cared if you were late. if it were for you, you would’ve skipped it just to keep hanging out with ellie.
“see you tomorrow, then?” you asked, hopeful.
“see you tomorrow,” ellie confirmed as she took a few steps back in your opposite direction, her eyes never leaving you until she fully turned around.
friday
it had been a while since you’d last chosen an outfit with someone in mind, wondering if they would like it. it took a while, but you finally settled on one. it was neatly laying on top of your bed.
“she’ll totally fall in love when she sees you in that,” blair’s voice cut through the silence, startling you.
“i’ve no idea who you’re talking about,” you obviously lied.
“maybe the girl you’ve been talking to me about since you met her?” blair guessed, “or is it the mysterious person who left you that note on monday?”
“it’s not weird that i still think about who could it be, is it?”
even if you had many other things to think about, the identity of the secret admirer, as blair had called them, was something that you were still curious about. it was difficult not to overthink every interaction you had with strangers, especially those who you’d catch staring or were friendlier than normal with you.
“are you kidding? if i were you, i would’ve asked every single person on campus if they knew anything about it,” she sat down on your bed, next to where your clothes were and handed them to you with a wink. “both ellie and the secret admirer will die when they see you tonight.”
a pathetic giggle escaped your lips on the way to the bathroom. you quickly changed into your chosen outfit, a rare feeling of exciment growing on inside you.
once you arrived at the party, you wasted no time and started looking for ellie. there were many familiar faces in the already drunken crowd, some of them even waved at you, but you didn’t even notice. between the lights and the loud music, you could barely pay attention to your own thoughts.
“what was she like again?” blair asked you, trying to help you find her.
“hot,” you replied, still scanning the room.
“right, thanks. that really helps.”
you laughed, “she’s—” your description was cut short when you suddenly locked eyes with her across the room. there was someone by her side, a girl who looked familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint where you knew her from. “she’s here.”
ellie leaned into her friend’s ear to say something, but her eyes never left yours. you tried to remain calm as you watched her walk towards you, looking annoyingly attractive.
“hey, there you are,” she greeted once she was close enough for you to hear her.
“hi! you came,” you beamed. “this is blair, my best friend. blair, this is ellie.”
“it’s really nice to meet you,” ellie shot a quick glance at your friend before glueing her eyes on you again.
knowing that that was her cue to leave, blair gave you a squeeze on your arm, “if you’ll excuse me, i have to go find my boyfriend. enjoy the party,” she wiggled her eyebrows at you before disappearing into the crowd.
“shouldn’t you call your friend over?” it was a genuine question, not wanting ellie to ditch the person she was with for you, but you also needed to know if she was really just a friend.
ellie looked over her shoulder and let out a chuckle, “i think she’s pretty busy.”
confused, you looked behind her. all of your doubts were cleared once you spotted her, she was making out with some girl.
she was definitely just a friend.
“oh,” you let out a short laugh. “good for her.”
ellie nodded at your words before looking back at you again. you were still distracted by the show ellie’s friend was giving and were completely oblivious to the spell you had put her under.
“you look really good,” she blurted out.
you broke into a sweet smile at the sudden compliment, “oh, thank you. you do too. really, really good.”
the fluttering of your heart made you want to burst into giggles, feeling extremely giddy. it was obvious how flustered you were, but seeing ellie in the same state as you made you feel slightly better. you would’ve never guess she’d be the type of person who blushes.
“wanna go for something to drink?”
you nodded at her question before reaching for her hand with the excuse of not losing each other on the way to the kitchen. ellie’s fingers quickly intertwined with yours as you started to lead the way. you offered many apologizes to the people who you accidentally bumped into, the place was absolutely packed and it was difficult to move. the kitchen was no different, you had barely any place to walk.
you grabbed two beer bottles and handed one to ellie, who looked a bit flushed from the previous interaction.
“next time someone doesn’t move after i say ‘excuse me’ i’ll just hit them on their ribs,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “where did they put the bottle opener?” you muttered to yourself, but ellie seemed to have heard you.
“here, let me help.”
you passed her the bottle and watched as she opened it against the table, taking the top off immediately.
“impressive,” you praised her before taking a sip. you grimaced at the taste.
ellie leaned back on the kitchen island, keeping her eyes on you. there was an amused smirk on her lips, “you don’t like it?”
“not really. i mean, it’s not like i hate it, but i only drink beer when there’s no other option,” you shrugged your shoulders. “i think there’s more to drink over there but there’s too many people and i don’t feel like getting trapped between sweaty drunk dudes.”
ellie swept her gaze over the kitchen before walking towards one of the many cabinets. “there’s gotta be something else in here,” she said as she opened every single door. “there it is!” ellie turned around and your eyes fell to her hands, she was holding a bottle of vodka. it was almost empty. “shots, anyone?” she offered.
a guy who was at the kitchen cheered, “hell yeah!”
ellie frowned, disgusted. “not you. go get your own bottle.”
a laugh escaped your lips at how disappointed the guy seemed to be, he immediately left after ellie’s words. “that was kind of mean,” you chuckled lightly.
ellie couldn’t tell you that she actually blew him off because of how shamelessly he checked you out the moment you entered the kitchen, so she just shrugged her shoulders. “he didn’t find it. open up,” she commanded you, placing a hand on your chin. you opened your mouth and felt how ellie poured the liquid down your throat.
“gross,” you wrinkled your nose. you grabbed the bottle from her hands and copied her action, softly grabbing her by her chin. she drank what was left of the vodka and you left the bottle on the counter behind her.
ellie smiled at you as she swiped her fingers across the corner of her lips. she gave you one last glance before walking past you. you watched her open more drawers and cabinets.
“psst, come here,” she called you over.
“what did you find?”
ellie looked around to check no one else was listening. you laughed at how secretive she was being. “look,” she whispered, she had found a box of chocolate covered strawberries. “shall we?” she offered, eyebrows up.
“absolutely,” you accepted, laughing. “but not here. let’s go to the balcony. it’s closed but i know where they keep the keys.”
ellie pushed herself off the table she was laying on and grabbed your hand, “i’ll lead this time, i know where it is.”
you stared down at your hands, blindly trusting her to guide you.
“how do you know where it is?”
“well, i kind of looked everywhere for you when i got here,” she admitted. “thought you stood me up.”
“sorry, i took forever to get ready,” you apologized, embarrassed.
“don’t worry, it was totally worth it,” ellie shot a quick glance at you as she said that, knowing it would mess you up. her personality changed from shy to flirty in a matter of seconds, so you didn’t really know what to expect of her.
you let out a sigh of relief once you were on the balcony, grateful for how muffled the people and music sounded from outside. “i remember why i haven’t gone out in months now,” you rolled your eyes.
“not a party girl, huh?” ellie let out a chuckle, leaning against the wall. she offered you a strawberry, which you gladly took.
“not lately,” you replied after taking a bite.
“so what made you go out tonight?”
you shrugged, “it was an impulse,” your answer was honest, but it was missing the rest of it.
because i wanted to see you again.
“it really helps you’re here, though,” you clarified. “actually, it doesn’t only help, you’re the only reason i’m enjoying this.”
“same here,” she smiled at you before looking up at the sky, she got lost in her thoughts for a moment before speaking up again. “it sucks that city lights don’t let us see the stars properly.”
you scoffed at her words, “i know, but hey, at least we have the moon,” you pointed at the satellite. “she never disappoints.”
there had been a few times were you felt as if the universe was on your side, somehow listening to you. that night was the moment you confirmed your theory because, coincidentally enough, the lights went off in what it seemed to be the entire city. a collective scream was heard from inside the apartment, along with multiple curses.
you took out your phone and turned on your flashlight, accidentally pointing it at ellie’s eyes.
“ow!” she let out, squinting her eyes. you couldn’t help but laugh, to which she complained.
“sorry, didn’t mean to blind you. especially now,” your excitement was enough to spark ellie’s curiosity.
“what do you mean?”
“come with me,” you grabbed her hand for the third time that day, knowing you’d miss doing that when the night came to an end. you still hadn’t gotten used to the weird, almost electric feeling that tingled in your palm whenever you touched her.
you guided her through the disappointed multitude, letting out apologies every now and then and also pushing those who didn’t move after you politely asked. you couldn’t blame them, though, they had used the darkness to their advantage and were shamelessly making out.
the air was ten times colder on the terrace than it was on the balcony, but neither of you cared because once you looked up you forgot about everything else. well, except maybe each other.
the view was completely breathtaking. without the light pollution, the sky looked straight out of a painting.
“it’s like looking straight at space,” you whispered, eyes sparkling with excitement. you had only seen the stars like that once in your life when you were a kid. it was as magical as you remembered, and the person you were sharing the moment with only made everything more special.
“i know,” ellie gazed at you before looking up again. “it blows my mind.”
as the night went on, you talked about many different things whilst laying on the floor; how your lives back home were, your friends, your families, favorite movies and songs and of course, with both of you being astronomy students, space-related stuff. you two were interested in each other’s point of view about everything, so you discussed many different subjects, enjoying the freedom to be incredibly nerdy about it.
“our lifespan is way too short. i mean, think about it. look at how many things have changed and advanced in only a hundred years. can you imagine how the world will change in, like, a thousand years?”
“maybe in fifty more years scientists will discover the key to immortality and we’ll be able to see everything,” ellie shrugged her shoulders. “or we could try to discover it ourselves once we graduate.”
you let out a laugh, “such an easy thing to do,” you sarcastically said. “i’m in, but maybe we could try with something easier, like, finding extraterrestrial forms of life, perhaps?”
“apparently, they are already here,” ellie pointed out.
you turned your head at her, “we’ll be the first to make friends with them, then. we’re pretty nice people, they’ll warm up to us.”
“deal,” she smiled at you, inevitably glancing at your lips for a second due to the proximity.
you kept enjoying each other’s company. there were moments in which neither of you spoke but, surprisingly enough, you didn’t care. even silence was fun with her.
neither of you had experienced a connection as strong as the one you had, especially in such a short amount of time. you didn’t question it, thought, it just made sense.
after a while, the power came back. the city was illuminated and the music from the party was back on. you two sat up, a little saddened that you couldn’t stargaze anymore.
“it was fun while it lasted,” you commented, ready to return to the apartment. you picked up the beer bottles from the floor, along with the empty box of chocolate strawberries.
“we can always go camping,” ellie suggested. “the sky will look even better than tonight.”
“i have zero survival skills, so you’d be in charge of everything. i can interest you with some random facts, though.”
“sounds good,” she laughed as she stood by the door and opened it, waiting for you to go inside first. the walk to the apartment was quiet, hating the fact the that night was coming to an end.
the loud music welcomed you again, people were even crazier after having to wait half an hour for the power to come back. it surprised you to see the same amount of people, apparently, none of them had left.
“i know it’s a friday night but, how the fuck has your friend managed to not get kicked out yet?” ellie leaned into your ear.
“this building is mostly occupied by other students, so they are probably at the party, too,” you explained, raising your voice a little so she could hear you.
everyone was euphorically dancing, making up for the lost time. you glanced at ellie before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the improvised dance floor. she instantly followed you, completely mesmerized.
“oh my god, there you are! i thought i was imagining things when i saw you earlier,” a familiar voice said from behind you. it was tara, you shared some classes and had been partners in a project once. “you look so good.”
“oh, hey, tara. this ell—”
“yeah, hi,” she interrupted you, only glancing at ellie for half a second. “could you walk me to the bathroom? i– i don’t know where it is and i feel pretty sick.”
your eyes flickered between the two girls. you obviously wanted to stay with ellie, but tara had put you in a really awkward position.
“uh…” you hesitated, “where are your friends?”
“they already left,” she frowned. “c’mon, babe, come with me? please.”
the nickname she used echoed in ellie’s mind.
“i can’t, i—”
“you should go. i should check on my friend, so…” ellie’s lips were in a straight line, but she forced a smile when you looked at her.
“why don’t you come with us?”
ellie would’ve agreed if she hadn’t seen the nasty look tara had given her. she wasn’t intimidated by her in the slightest, but the thought of being a burden and indirectly forcing you not to leave her alone was enough to let you go, even if she didn’t want to.
“no, really. i need to go see if she’s okay. i’ll find you later.”
you didn’t have time to respond, because you had already been dragged away from there. tara started chatting your ear off about stuff you didn’t care, you could only think about ellie.
“do you want me to call you an uber or something?” you asked her.
“why would i wanna leave?”
“you said you were sick and you’re pretty drunk, you should go home.”
“oh, no, silly. i live in this building, maybe you could walk me to my apartment?”
you refrained from rolling your eyes in front of her and realized that the sooner you got rid of her, the sooner you could go back to the girl you actually wanted to be with.
“c’mon, let’s go,” you said. on the way out you messaged blair to find ellie and tell her you’d be right back, to which she answered she was on it.
you took the elevator to her floor. you could tell tara wanted you to initiate a conversation by the way she was looking at you, but you couldn’t care less about her. she hadn’t noticed, apparently, because she started talking about god knows what as you walked behind her, completely zoned out.
“wanna come in?” she asked you once you were outside her apartment. her intentions were crystal clear but, as flattered as you were, you couldn’t help but feel completely uncomfortable.
“uh, no, thanks,” you awkwardly said.
“you sure? i’ve got—”
“yes, tara, i’m sure. i gotta go, i’m sorry. you’ll be okay, though, right? see you around,” you took a step back with each word you said, by the end of the sentence you were in front of the elevator. you heard tara let out a very confused ‘bye’ before the doors closed.
you impatiently tapped your foot against the floor, wondering why was the elevator taking so long. once you were back at the party you immediately searched for ellie, but she was nowhere to be found. instead, you saw blair, who had a worried look on her face.
“hey,” you approached her. “did you talk to ellie?”
“i couldn’t. i saw her leave with that girl she was with like a minute after you texted me,” she grimaced. “what happened? why were you with tara?”
you sighed, “i’m so stupid,” you groaned. “tara found me and she put me in this really difficult spot, so i had to walk her to her apartment because she was pretty fucking drunk and feeling very sick, or at least that’s what she told me, and i did it as fast as i could, but—”
“okay, okay. stop. why don’t you text ellie and—”
“i don’t have her number.”
“try instagram?”
“i tried finding her on instagram the same day i met her and i couldn’t,” you awkwardly confessed. “she probably thinks i blew her off for stupid tara.”
“hey, calm down. i’m sure you’ll see her soon.”
sadly, that soon never came. saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday went by painfully slow. there was no sight of ellie.
wednesday
you were a hopeless romantic, even if you didn’t admit it out loud. deep down, you knew that meeting ellie wasn’t a coincidence. it could’ve happened at any given moment due to being classmates, but it did when you needed it the most.
it was unexpected, but as said before, you felt as if sometimes the universe was on your side, listening to your deepest desires, the ones you didn’t know needed to be fulfilled.
you had never felt a connection as genuine as the one you had with her. everything seemed easy with her, making you feel you’d known her for longer than a week.
that doesn’t happen often, especially to you, so you would do anything in your power to fix things.
you were currently in physics class, counting down the minutes for it to end. you had to fight the urge to look at the back to see if ellie was there.
the thought of her being mad at you for practically abandoning at the party you invited her to made you sick. you also feared she didn’t care at all, which was a hundred times worse.
once the class ended you waited for her outside, trying to calm down your racing heart. the majority of students had already come out. you had just started to lose hope of seeing her when you finally heard her voice. she was saying goodbye to the professor.
“hi,” you nervously smiled when she was in front of you. her looking as good as always didn’t help you calm down at all. “i’ve been hoping to see you since friday. i wanted to apologize—”
“oh, you don’t have to do that. i get it. i saw you leave with that girl, tara, was it? it’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything—”
“no, no. i didn’t leave with her,” you clarified. “she wasn’t feeling good so she asked me to walk her to her apartment, which was in that same building, and i only did it to get rid of her. i know i sound like a major dick, but i wanted to go back to you as soon as possible,” you confessed, heart beating a hundred miles per minute.
“you did?” there was a smile hiding on her lips, you could tell by the tone she used. she was amused and obviously enjoyed seeing you flustered.
“yes, and i told blair to find you and tell you that i’d be right back, but when i did you had already left and i had no way of communicating with you, so…” ellie was quiet, so you continued. “i’m sorry.“
it felt like an eternity until she spoke again. “i’m sorry i left.”
“it’s not your fault,“ you mused. “it’s tara’s.”
“it so is,” ellie let out a chuckle. “i’ll fuck her up.”
you laughed, which made ellie’s stomach flip. both of you became numb to your surroundings as you stared into each other’s eyes, dumb smiles plastered on your faces.
“hey, about that paper that we have to do on electromagnetism. would you, maybe, uh, want to do it with me?”
“yes, i’d love to,” you grinned. “we could meet at the library tomorrow. do you have any classes in the morning?”
“just one, it ends at 10.”
“see you at 11?”
“yeah,” ellie nodded.
“oh, i almost forgot,” you said before taking out your phone. ellie curiously watched you type something before you handed it to her.
an adorable smile formed on her lips when she saw you were asking for her number. you had already typed in her name with the alien emoji next to it.
“thank you,” you mused when she gave your phone back to you. you instantly sent her a text so she could save your number on hers, too.
“see you tomorrow :)”
ellie looked up from her phone, mouth upturned. “see you then.”
tuesday
“the library’s closed,” ellie announced the moment she saw you.
the lights were turned off and there was a sign on the door that read ‘closed for reparations’.
“awh, man,” you complained. “why didn’t they tell us sooner—”
“actually, they did. i just checked and they sent us an email about a week ago, we just don’t check our inbox,” ellie interrupted you, grimacing.
“oh, our fault then,” you shrugged your shoulders. “um, maybe we could go to my dorm? i don’t have a roommate so nobody will bother us,” you offered.
“woah, i’d give everything to have my dorm all to myself,” she groaned, tilting her head back. “why don’t you have a roommate?”
you didn’t realize you had already started walking together, mindlessly leading the way to your dorm.
“i had one at the beginning of the semester, but then she dropped out or something. they told me i’ll probably get one next semester, so i’m enjoying it while it lasts,” you explained.
ellie huffed, “my roommate is a music producer. she’s pretty considerate but sometimes she has to listen to her songs without headphones,” she rolled her eyes. “i think i’m gonna find a job and move out to an apartment.”
“you totally should. i’d do it too if i were capable of balancing work and college,” you told her. “you’re welcome to stay at mine’s for as long as you want and whenever you want, by the way.”
“really?” she grinned. “you’re already asking me to live together? i haven’t even met your parents, yet.”
you rolled your eyes, a playful smile growing on your lips, “fine, my offer is off the table, then.”
“oh, no. now it’s too late. i’m moving in tomorrow morning.”
ellie spent the entire walk planning an itinerary for when she moved in with you, which basically consisted in eating breakfast together, go to class, come back and have lunch together, have more classes, come back and have dinner together then have a sleepover every night.
“sounds fun, huh?”
“super fun,” you chuckled as you opened the door for her. “guests first,” you stepped aside, inviting her in.
“hey, this is practically my dorm, too, now,” ellie joked, curiously looking around as she scratched the back of her neck. she was trying her hardest not to show how nervous she actually was, but the fluttering on her stomach made it really hard.
you were in the same state as her, trying not to freak out. your eyes discreetly checked every corner of the room, making sure everything was in order and there was nothing embarrassing laying around.
ellie chuckled to herself when she noticed the ceiling was decorated with a bunch of stickers that glowed in the dark. stars and planets were placed all over.
“i know they’re childish,” you wrinkled your nose, visibly cringing.
“are you kidding? i love them. these will be the first thing i’ll buy for my new place,” her gaze fell from the ceiling to your eyes, a genuine smile spreading across her lips.
ellie kept looking around your dorm, grabbing stuff that caught her attention. it was funny seeing her ask for permission each time, looking back at you and pointing at the object she wanted to check out.
you took out your laptop from your backpack and sat down on your bed. it immediately bummed you out when you remembered that you had to do an assignment and weren’t just hanging out for fun.
“i’m gonna create a google drive file so we can both edit it later in case we don’t finish it today,” you informed her.
“yeah, that’s a good idea,” ellie replied, focused on a bracelet she had found on your desk. then, she continued snooping around your things, sometimes mumbling cool and i’m going to borrow this.
you checked the questions you had to answer and immediately sighed, “i’m completely lost.”
“want me to explain it to you?” she offered and you obviously accepted. ellie looked at the big whiteboard behind her and grabbed a marker from your desk. “okay, so you know that the earth’s core is mainly composed of liquid in the outer core and solid iron in the inner core?”
you tried your hardest to keep your attention on what she was saying, but the task turned impossible. her voice sounded muffled and you could only focus on how good she looked. you let out a few yeahs and rights when you thought it was appropriate, but the truth was that you didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.
“and this field has existed for at least three billions years, which is nuts, right?” you ears managed to make out of all the things she was saying. you saw how she laughed, clearly enjoying talking about the subject. you probably would too if you could be capable of actually listen and process what she was saying.
you watched as she continued to write and draw stuff on the board at the same time she explained something to you, but you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her.
“that’s about it, got it?” she asked, turning around.
“uh…” you let out, not being capable of forming an actual sentence.
ellie chuckled, amused, “you alright?”
“yes, it’s just—”
“was there something you didn’t understand? i can go over it again,” ellie kindly offered, but you could hardly hear her over the loud beating of your heart.
you weren’t really planning to, but you stood up. it was as if you were on autopilot, there was something else controlling your body and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. you walked closer to ellie, who looked confused.
“if i’m being honest, i didn’t listen to a word you said,” you confessed, smiling guiltily. “i swear i tried to, but there was something else on my mind.”
“what’s that?” ellie asked in a whisper, eyes scanning your face. you were extremely close to her.
“i don’t think i can go another minute without kissing you,” you softly confessed, looking up into her eyes. her pupils were dilated and a light blush had started to color her cheeks.
“no one is stopping you,” she replied, wholly captivated by you.
not even a second later, you crashed your lips into hers. ellie joyfully giggled, but that didn’t stop her from hungrily kissing you back. her hands found their way up to the sides of your face while yours ended up tangled in her hair.
ellie broke the kiss first, but your lips were still touching. “i’m still deeply disappointed you didn’t listen to my physics lesson.”
“i’m sorry,” you chuckled. “i heard some parts, you were great. i learned a lot.”
ellie smiled before leaning in again, bringing you impossibly closer to her as she gave you a breathtaking kiss. you melted against her, already eager for the kiss to end just so you could do it over and over again.
“this would’ve happened sooner if it weren’t for tara,” ellie joked, reaching over to grab your hand.
“i’ll kill her next time i see her,” you were standing so close to each other that you replied with a whisper.
ellie frowned, “you’re not seeing her again.”
“oh? i would’ve never guessed you were the jealous type,” you teased her, placing your arms on her shoulders again and bringing her even closer to you. ellie looked even better than before. her lips were reddened, her hair was a mess and her eyes had become even more hypnotic.
you could’ve stayed admiring her for hours, but a glance over her shoulder was all it took for you to wake up from your trance. you walked past her to take a closer look at the whiteboard she had used. it wasn’t what she had written that caught your attention, but the handwriting itself. it looked incredibly familiar.
your mind quickly came up with a crazy theory, which ellie’s expression confirmed the moment you looked back at her.
“you were the one who left me that note on my door?”
ellie’s confident and teasing demeanor was long gone. she looked panicked. her heartbeat accelerated significantly and she felt as she was running out of air.
“oh my god,” your mouth fell agape, a smile creeping up on your lips. “you did!”
she covered her face with her hands, letting out a groan, “you weren’t supposed to know that.”
“why?”
“it’s embarrassing! we didn’t even know each other when i did it. it’s weird—”
“it’s sweet!”
“it’s weird,” she repeated, not being able to look at you.
you smiled fondly at her, reaching for her hand and giving her a squeeze, “it really helped me, you know? it was as if you knew i needed it.”
ellie grimaced, “well, i actually kind of did…”
“what do you mean?”
she sat down on your bed, making you sit next to her. you didn’t let go of her hand. instead, you played with her fingers in an attempt to calm her down.
“i visited my friend that day, her dorm is across the hall. i was just about to leave when i saw you coming. i panicked, so i hid and accidentally overheard what you were saying to your friend,” she admitted. “i meant what i wrote. i’ve thought that way about you ever since i first saw you. it seemed like the perfect moment to tell you, at least indirectly.”
“but why didn’t you tell me in person? or at least, talked to me sooner.”
“i’m not as brave as i look and you’re fucking intimidating.”
you let out a laugh in disbelief, “me, intimidating? look at you!”
“no, look at you. you’re way to beautiful for me to just come up to you and tell you that. who could have the guts?”
“oh my god, shut up,” you hid your face in your hands, feeling how your heart fluttered like crazy at her words.
“i couldn’t tell you after we began talking, either. we were just getting to know each other, it would’ve been weird,” ellie stared down at your intertwined hands. “it’s still kind of weird,” she mumbled more to herself than for you to hear.
not being able to take it anymore, you succumbed to the urge of throwing yourself at her, leaving many kisses all over her face. the sound of her laugh made the butterflies in your stomach to fly all over the place.
“you’re the sweetest girl i’ve ever met.”
“don’t say that about me. i have a reputation to maintain,” she jokingly rolled her eyes. “so, be honest, you don’t think it was weird?”
“of course not. i think it was fate.”
“fate?”
“wait here.”
you quickly walked over to your desk where you had left your phone. you immediately searched for the picture you had taken of her last tuesday and almost ran to show it to her.
“is that me?” ellie grabbed the phone from your hands and zoomed in the picture.
“yup,” you nodded. “this was the day before we first talked. i was taking pictures of orange and you appeared, out of nowhere. you looked as you’d beat the person who dared to speak to you,” a laugh escaped your lips. “i thought about for the rest of the day and hoped to see you again, and guess what? i did. see? it was fate.”
ellie warmly smiled, she caressed your cheek with her fingers before bringing you closer to give you the softest kiss ever given, “i guess it was.”
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urfavoritegirlkisser · 3 months
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"Midnight Rain" - Rockstar!Ellie Williams x Popstar!Reader
a/n - finally getting back to writing!! it's been tough with school and stuff but I was finally able to write this, which had three drafts of how it could maybe go so enjoy!
Tags: Fem!Reader, Fem!Popstar!Reader, Rockstar!Ellie, wlw, slightly suggestive since it's kinda implied they had a one night stand, lightly proof read sorry babydolls, petnames like sweetheart and honey, playboy!Ellie, asshole!Ellie kinda, use of y/n, a little angsty won't lie, insecure!reader, lemme know if I forgot anything xoxo
You wake up to the constant ping of your phone on your nightstand, quickly realizing this wasn’t the hotel room your manager had arranged for you and registering the faint sound of the shower running.
Sitting up, you let yourself fully wake up before reaching over to grab your phone from the nightstand
The top one is a message from your manager with the link to a news article
“Pop Star Y/N Not As Innocent As She Seems?”
The article is about some grainy photos and a video of you last night at an after party with Ellie, who is in a rock band under the same label as you, it was your first big win taking home a Grammy for ‘Best New Artist’ and you decided to let yourself loose for once.
Your management wanted to keep up this facade of a sweet young pop star and that meant no ‘going wild’ as your manager liked to call it.
So the photos of you dancing and making out with Ellie Williams, who was known for her bad reputation and playboy tendencies was not good for your reputation apparently.
Speak of the devil…
You realize the shower has turned off and you see as Ellie walks into the room, clad in just a sports bra and sweats as she dries her hair off with a towel.
She looks over and smirks, “Well look who finally decided to wake up” she says with a chuckle and offers you a shirt of her own
You blush slightly, putting on the shirt before grabbing your discarded undergarments and quickly slipping them on, “My manager messaged me an article, apparently someone took some photos and videos of us last night at the party”
Ellie sits on the bed with her back against the headboard, “So? Not the first time this has happened” she says while fiddling with the rings on her fingers
You sigh and roll your eyes, “I mean to you maybe, but my manager is currently on my ass about what we’re supposed to do now and-”
Ellie cuts you off with a scoff, “Sweetheart it’ll be fine, they’ll circulate the pictures for a few weeks and then everyone will be over it”
You sit there before turning to her fully, “Will you be over it too?” you ask softly
The look in her eyes makes you regret even asking that.
“What? You think this is going to continue once you walk out that door?” she says with a laugh that makes your heart drop to your stomach, “Look you’re cute and all but I have a reputation to keep, honey”
You felt stupid, because of course this would just be a one time thing for her, and you knew that.
Maybe you thought you would be the one to change that.
“Right…sorry, yeah, I’m gonna go” you say as you take off her shirt and just put on the dress you wore to the after party, grabbing your things and making your way to the door of Ellie’s hotel room.
“Honey, don’t be like that” Ellie calls after you but you simply walk out the door and to the elevators where you go to your room a couple floors up, setting your stuff down, changing into casual clothes and sitting down on your bed.
You don’t know why you thought that you could change her mind, it was a fun night, but one that was meant to be forgotten.
Everyone will forget it happened, including Ellie.
You’ll forget it happened.
an - sorry if that was all over the place, I rewrote this like three times, anyways go drink water you girl kissers xo
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sleepyangelkami · 3 months
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Heyyy I haven’t requested anything in a while but the way you write Ellie is pure perfection so I had to request something and of course you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to :) but I was wondering if you could write something fluffy and domestic where reader is always taking care of Ellie, she makes sure Ellie eats well and gets enough sleep/rest gives her massages after patrol or if it’s cold reader makes sure Ellie stays warm making her wear proper winter clothing or something like that you know, but maybe she comes off as clingy or annoying according to some people and she thinks Ellie might think the same but that’s not the case
(Thank you in advance if you decide to write it!)
CHECK, CHECK, CHECK e.williams
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 ☆ WORD COUNT - 3.2K
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ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER
 ☆ SUMMARY -you've always been one to fuss over ellie, making sure she was warm enough or full enough or making sure her muscles didn't hurt too much after a particularly long patrol. ellie loved the way you fussed over her, constantly making an effort to assure both herself and yourself that she was always feeling just right. you knew she loved it until one day you questioned if she did.
 ☆ WARNINGS - ditzy!reader, suggestive joke, slight insecurity (r.), ellie not taking care of herself right, reader doing it for her, use of y/n, petnames, dina n jesse are kinda mean but they don't mean it, sensitive!reader, crying, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread  🩷
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fussing over ellie came as a second nature to you. the minute you'd gotten together you'd made it your personal responsibility to make sure ellie had everything that she needed. whether it was food, sleep, a massage, anything of the sort. you were there, with too many supplies in your hands, stumbling about like a fish out of water. always so ditzy, her clumsy girl.
but whatever you did, you made sure ellie's problem was fixed.
your eyes glanced to the lunch you'd packed ellie. check. then fishing through the bag and making sure she had everything. check. you could hear ellie coming down the stairs, dressed but still groggy. you glanced down to your watch to see the time. check. you'd done everything for ellie this morning, as you always did, making sure she got to sleep in extra and didn't have to do anything before going on patrol. "oh, baby." she spoke once she laid eyes on you, standing in front of your work. "you didn't have to."
"wanted to." you grinned, skipping your way over to where your girlfriend stood and leaning up to press a kiss to her cheek. as much as she reminded you that she didn't need all this, you'd always wave her off, stating that she deserved it. she was so good to you, it was only fair that you were the same back.
you handed her one of the little blue plates from the kitchen, two waffles sitting on it with her favourite syrup. "for me?" she seemed surprised, as if you hadn't done it every other day for her. that was the thing about ellie. she was so easy to please and not only that but when you did things for her over and over, she still never expected.
"'course, silly." you giggled. she fell in love a little bit more.
to ellie, you were the most bubbly girl she's ever met. always skipping and hopping around with that ditzy head of yours. you did everything for ellie, everything you could. yet, even when you were making her favourite meal, she was still putting a hand on the cupboard door to make sure you didn't slam your head against it.
ellie had been sitting at the little round table in the kitchen, her eyes glancing to where you sat next to her. your chin was resting in your hands, a little frown etched to your features. "what's got my sweet girl frownin'?" ellie questioned, her lips in a tight knit smile at you. you always had such a bright aura surrounding you, passing it on everywhere you went. when ellie woke up, seeing your face was enough to have any frown erased from her face, a big grin widening on her cheeks.
"your clothes." you mumbled, almost pouting at her.
"my clothes?" she wore a little smirk curving up at the left side of her lip. "you wanna take 'em off?"
you rolled your eyes, placing your chin on her bicep. "ellie, 'm being serious." you informed her. "you're gonna be so cold in that." she was clad in a black shirt, that was it.
she shrugged her shoulders. "I'll get my jacket." pressing a kiss to your lips. "nothing to worry your pretty little head about."
but you weren't sold. "gimme a minute." and you were already hopping up from the kitchen table. ellie tried calling your name, stating that it wasn't worth it and that it didn't matter but you were already making your way up the stairs. ellie couldn't help but sigh, you never did listen when it came to things like these. seconds later, you were reappearing in the room, this time with one of ellie's brown sweaters in your hands. "gonna need it."
"thank you angel." she spoke softly, her upper arm finding its way around your shoulder. she pulled you in, pressing a kiss against your forehead and you tried to ignore the way your cheeks flamed up. "but you know you really don't have to worry so much."
ellie said this because she doesn't like to think that you worry. i mean, she knows you worry. you'd worry either way, whether she wanted you to or not. this was shown to her the many times she'd returned from night patrol ten minutes late with you sitting on the couch, worried expression etched across your features as you ran up to her, questioning if she was alright and asking why it had taken so long, all while your eyes dragged over her skin, assuring yourself that she wasn't hurt in any way. you were the worrier while she was the warrior, she thought it was a cute mix. even so, she still didn't wish to see the way your brows knit together and your lips formed a pout. don't get me wrong, she still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, but you looked even more gorgeous when you relaxed and took a breath.
"I know." you mumbled, suddenly feeling flush. you knew ellie could take care of herself, there really was nothing to worry about but you just needed to make sure.
"hey." ellie spoke, noticing the way your face had fallen a little. "doesn't mean i don't appreciate everything you do for me, sweets, you're the best." pressing kisses all around your face and ignoring the way it scrunched up, focusing on the grin on your lips. "jus' wanna make sure you're not worrying about me so much that you forget to take care of the one who really matters." one last kiss to your nose. "you."
you rolled your eyes a little, hands folding in on themselves. "you're so cheesy, els."
it was her turn to roll her eyes. "you love it."
"maybe." and you did, you really did.
ellie moved to pick up the bag that was strewn across the kitchen counter. "i gotta run, you know how jesse is when i'm late." jesse was possibly the most sour yet loving boy in the world. "see you later, princess."
you returned her goodbye kiss in full, standing on your tippy-toes while she had her hands splayed across your face. "bye, els." and so, she was out the door.
the house suddenly grew awfully quiet.
you liked taking care of ellie, liked fussing and worrying over her. now that everything was in check, you suddenly had nothing to do with your day. you supposed you could go visit your good friend dina, if jesse was on patrol it was no doubt that she'd be bored too. perhaps you could go to the tipsy bison with her, sipping on the sprite they sell while she drinks the alcohol. you two were so different.
just as you smiled fondly, thinking about your favourite jewish girl, your eyes flickered to the lunch bag that sat on the counter.
oh no, ellie'd forgotten her lunch!
ellie stood by the stables, giving jesse a sharp eye as she unbuckled shimmer. "you don't know anything about women." she told him. "you and dina break up every week, me and y/n are never even arguing let alone breaking up."
"yeah, well," he rolled his eyes, trying to find the words. he was currently all fussy because she was a couple minutes late, when she'd told him it was because she was with you, he didn't seem so happy. "whatever, williams."
she smirked at him. "no comeback?" he stayed silent to which she could only chuckle to herself. jesse talked a big game that he could never keep.
"hey." squinting his eyes. "isn't that y/n right there?" at that, ellie whipped around, confusion evident on her face.
"els!" you were practically running towards the stables, out of breath and cold. but you'd wanted to get there before ellie had left, insuring she had food with her.
"yep." jesse nodded, chuckling as he took out his own horse. "there's your clingy clutz."
ellie threw a glare at him but before she could speak, you were in front of her. now that you were closer, she could see the redness of your nose and the slight shaking of your arms. in all your rush, you'd completely forgotten to cover yourself up. "what are you doing outside, baby? 's freezing." her gloved hands came up to your arms, rubbing them up and down to attempt to console you. truthfully, the snow on her gloves made it worse but it was her touch, you'd never refuse.
you breathed in and out, catching your breath. you held out the brown bag. "you forgot your lunch."
you heard the chuckle from her lips almost instantly as she took the bag into her hands. "thank you, bunny, would'a been starving." you nodded your head as your cheeks tinged pink. "now go get home, you're gonna catch a cold."
you giggled to yourself, feeling all floaty when talking to ellie. "okay, bye els." before she let you go, she grasped your arms, hauling you forward. she made sure to give you the tightest hug she could before murmuring one last 'thank you' then letting you go and bidding goodbye. "bye, jesse!"
the asian boy turned around, brows slightly raised. "what? no homemade meals for me?" you knew he was joking but you deflated a little.
"I could make you something next time, if you want?" shuffling your feet forward a little.
"i'm kidding." he shook his head. "but listen to your girlfriend, you're gonna get sick and if you get sick, ellie takes patrol off and i am not being stuck on patrol with max for the week." you giggled, giving ellie one last kiss to her cheek and bidding goodbye to both the pair. when you fled from the scene, jesse was shaking his head. "It's cute she cares about you and all but i could not handle dina running after me like that."
ellie scoffed, placing the brown paper bag in her bigger bag that held everything else. "lotta talk as if dina would go through the trouble." dina would never wake herself up that early on a tuesday morning just to insure jesse had a packed lunch.
he led the horse out by its lead. "love has made you cruel." he informed her, ignoring the way she rolled her eyes.
jesse was in love too, there was just a big difference between the way he loved dina and ellie loved you. jesse would die for dina, perhaps that says more about how disposable he views his life but ellie? ellie would kill for you. she'd take every drop of blood on her hands if it meant sparing your own. "you're just jealous."
but the next words that fell from his lips caused her to stop right in her tracks. "id' rather be known as jealous than clingy." the mutter caught her off guard.
it was said under his breath, as if she wasn't truly meant to hear it. "dude." she scoffed at him. "don't call her that, okay?" she didn't want to argue with jesse but then again, nobody was allowed to talk about you and just get left off the hook. sure, he probably hadn't meant it in a condescending way but it was jesse, he often didn't think before he opened his mouth. "she's not clingy, she's just good to me." rolling her eyes suddenly. "sorry you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like."
he placed a hand on his chest, offended. "what me and dina have is very healthy." one two weeks, off the next three, yeah, very healthy.
she huffed out a laugh at him, almost in shock. everyone was well aware that what dina and jesse had was not healthy. it was love, sure, but it wasn't healthy love. "as healthy as a rotten pear, jesse."
"oh wow." pushing his hands up in fake awe. "how long you been waiting to crack that one?"
she dragged shimmer by her lead. "can we just go?" the quicker they were, the quicker she could get back home, and home was wherever your sweet soul lay.
ellie knew to others you may seem like 'too much' people have commented on it, both to her and to you, sometimes even to you both while you're standing next to one another. you'd always feel deflated afterwards, trying to shrug it off as to not upset ellie but she knew how you could be, one minute inside your head and you were caught up in a loop.
of course, everyone in jackson always felt the need to comment on just about everything that didn't concern them. like other people's relationships and family feuds, ellie remembered when her and joel had fallen out and suddenly everyone was approaching her. "well, if i were you..." but that was the thing, they weren't her, they weren't you either, so ellie thought they should just learn to keep their noses where they belong which was not in your guy's business nor relationship. they'd often commented on how ellie 'acted like a man towards you' or that you were 'throwing away your life for her' many more things. often, they were targeted towards her. that was the thing about ellie williams. people in jackson either loved her or hated her, there never was an in between. they told her that she was forcing too much pda, or that the names she called you in public were merely inappropriate, so on, so on.
but ellie didn't care for what people said about her. if they wanted to talk, they'd talk. and that was exactly what everyone in jackson was good for, talking. yet never was the topic of discussion about themselves.
but what really got ellie mad, what genuinely made her blood boil and her eyes squint, the only time she'd ever lay hands on someone let alone merely yell at them. was when they talked about you. her precious girl.
ellie knew you better than anyone meaning she knew that when people talked, it got the better of you. you had the habit to stay inside your head for days on end, trying to scribble away what someone had said about you. she'd always notice it, her bubbly girl suddenly all deflated. you were her pride and joy, seeing a frown on your face could lurch her stomach.
but she also knew that you had the tendency not to talk back. when something was bothering you, your head being 'at' you. you kept it there. you didn't release it, you made sure that no one even knew who planted the seed in your head. merely because you thought it wasn't fair, if you said it out loud it was like talking about someone behind their back. you thought you were doing something wrong when all you were doing was feeling what your body was making you feel.
that's why now, as ellie lay on her stomach wearing only her sports bra, you straddling her bottom with your hands working your way through her muscles, she knew something was off.
perhaps your breathing pattern was different than usual, perhaps it was the way you hadn't said anything in minutes. or maybe it was the way your fingers were moving so softly against her tense muscles, not applying nearly as much pressure on her as you usually did.
she could tell, your mind was far away.
she'd asked you once she'd come home if you were alright, you seemed sort of off with her. but you shook your head, stating that all was okay.
before she could grill you more, you were taking her bag off her shoulder, jacket off her back and leading her up to the bedroom. it wasn't unusual for you to give her back massages after her patrols, while she didn't expect them, she sort of knew they were coming.
"okay." ellie sighed, not having any more of your silence. "up." you did as she said, confusedly albeit. you hovered from her backside, sitting on your knees.
ellie used this time to flip herself around, plopping you back down on her crotch and leaning up against the back of the bed frame. "els, what―"
her back was scrunched against the pillows, your hands folding in on you, confusion evident on your face. "what's wrong?" she deadpanned, though there was nothing but concern in her eyes.
suddenly, you were squirming. "told you, els, nothin'" the way your eyes couldn't look at her, staring down at the side dresser or the roof. your tell tale sign.
"hey." her fingers reached out, hooking around your chin and sort of forcing it forward. "look at me when you talk to me, yeah?" you nodded your head, dumbly. "now tell me what's wrong, i don' wanna hear your 'nothing's because somethings obviously wrong." her hands fell around your waist, hooking you close. "you're too quiet, baby."
you didn't tear your eyes away from her, scared she'd get frustrated. "'m sorry―" you started but ellie was quick to cut you off.
"no you're not, you're not sorry remember?" you'd had the talk with her multiple times. you weren't allowed to be sorry when you didn't do anything wrong. "jus' tell me whats wrong, wanna know what's upsetting my sweet girl."
you could feel the tears welling. this time when you looked away, she didn't drag your face back. she let you collect herself. "was jus' talking to dina today..."
ellie's face fell a little. "what did she say, baby?"
she'd placed a hand in yours, letting you fumble with her fingers. she caught you doing it before, seeing the way you couldn't stop your hands from moving about at one another and she decided that you could use hers instead. she let you play with her hands while you got nervous. it sort of just stuck. "she wasn't trying to be mean." you spoke, still defending your best friend. "sometimes, she jus' says stuff... like 'm clingy." you finally got it out. "'m too much, ellie." the first tear rolling down your cheek. "dina thinks 'm too much, jesse thinks 'm too much, you probably do too!"
"oh, honey." her face was looking at you all saddened, a coo falling from her lips. "you know i'd never think you're too much." she held you when you started to cry, your head in the crook of her neck, her sensitive baby. "jesse 'n dina don't know what they're talking about half the time, m'love." she pulled your head from her neck, letting you look at her. "wanna hear a story?" pathetically, you nodded. "today, me 'n jesse were walking the same roads we've been taking for years. and jesse still managed to forget there was a massive pole in the middle. so next time you see him you better tell him that the bump on his head is too much, it's practically weighing down his whole body."
you gently hit the girl. "els." you whined. "that's so mean." but you couldn't help but giggle at the thought of jesse with a large, red bump on the middle of his forehead.
"there she is!" grinning at the smile on your face. "need to see more of that pretty smile on that pretty face, m'kay?" you nodded at her, big doey eyes staring up at her. "words, baby." reminding you.
"okay, ellie." and your grin couldn't stop stretching.
your smile could be so big that it was occupying your entire face and still, to ellie it would be downright beautiful, never too much.
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main masterlist/ellie's masterlist
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cyberels · 5 months
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IT WILL COME BACK
(you know better, babe)
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𖦹彡⋆。˚ summary: ellie makes it her goal to talk to you again after a one night stand.
see part one here
𖦹彡⋆。˚ warnings: nsfw (implied), language
𖦹彡⋆。˚ a/n: this is the worst thing ive ever written please god do not base my skill off of this i lost inspiration 😭😭😭😭 pleasee im so sorry..,,,.,. also no smut in this part my bad sorry gay people
alsooo readers username on ig is hoezier if you don’t like it simply pretend it’s something else😁
reader is female with a reputation for one night stands
this is also very much loser!ellie idk man idk she gets more confident later in the fic tho
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ellie was fucked - no pun intended. you literally just gave her the best sex of her life and immediately after you were pulled away from her without even so much as a goodbye.
if ellie ever finds out who called the cops, she swears to herself that she’s going to punch them right in their fucking face for cutting her time with you short.
there was something about you that made her yearn to have you near her again. she was trying to forget about you, but you were becoming a craving she couldn’t shake, despite barely even speaking to one another. your small encounter with ellie left an impact on her.
she knew basically nothing about you besides your name, but she did learn that you were… very experienced. she could gather that much based on how confident you were, and how it took you just minutes to figure out how to make her feel the best she’s ever felt. you knew what you were doing, and ellie didn’t even try to resist your advances, letting her body be taken by you.
ellie was not submissive, she barely even let any of the other people she’s slept with take the dominant position… so why did she let you, of all people, take control without her even putting up a fight? you were under her skin like an itch that was impossible to scratch.
ellie arrived back at her dorm later that night, but the feeling that she left something unfinished hung over her like a shadow.
she pulled out her phone, which was a shitty attempt at a distraction; no matter how many tiktok videos she watches, ​her thoughts were consistently and stubbornly directed to you. her brain couldn't wrap around how you became entrenched within her mind so easily.
she needed to tell someone about this and get if off her chest. she opened up her contacts and her thumb hovers over dina’s number. she debates on even telling her friend about this for a minute… falling for someone she barely knows is definitely not something she ever wanted to happen. she sighs, and presses the call button, very painfully aware of how embarrassing the situation is.
“hey!” dina answers after a few rings, “what’s up?”
“dina, i’m dying. i’m screwed.”
“what’d you do this time?”
ellie groans before explaining the situation that unfolded just hours before, words gushing forth as she explains the events of the night.
dina interrupts ellie’s rant after a few moments, laughing as she speaks. “—okay, slow down. what’s her name?”
the second your name spills out of ellie’s mouth, dina inhales in a sharp breath of air.
“what? what’s wrong?” ellie asked, “do you know her?”
“if she’s who i think she is… i wouldn’t get attached.”
“…why?”
“i’m sorry, i just— she’s slept with a few girls i know and she usually does not ever talk to them again.”
“well it’s too late for me, i’m already attached; you don’t know the half of it. but there was something there between us, a spark or whatever. i don’t know, maybe she felt it, too.”’
“that’s not a spark. that’s a fire. because your brain has got to be fucking burning down if you’re even considering reaching out to her.”
“…do you have her instagram?”
“ellie. no.”
ellie sighs, kicking off her shoes and flopping on her bed, “i’ll just say hi and see where it goes. she probably won’t even respond, it’ll be fine.”
“i want you to know i think this is a terrible idea… but i sent you her username.”
“fuck yeah! thank you, dina.”
fuck your reputation, ellie was gonna make you hers one way or another.
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you stare at your screen for a second.
ellie… that’s a pretty name.
it suits her.
she went out of her way to find you, it’s kind of sweet. half the other people you’ve hooked up with don’t give a shit about you after you’re done; you can’t be mad at them, though, considering you do the same.
ellie was just a rare case, you’ll forget about her in a few days.
…right?
you know that getting attached is never a good idea, that’s why you barely bothered to learn her name. in all honesty, you didn’t really care to learn the names of anyone you’ve slept with, the only reason why you did was because you didn’t want to look impolite. despite feeling like an asshole, you set your phone down on your bedside table and attempt to shove the thoughts of this girl—ellie—away. you were already constantly thinking about her, messaging her would just make this whole situation harder on you.
you refuse to get more attached than you already are.
unfortunately for you, your attempts to get ellie off your mind are proving unsuccessful. you’d never admit it, but she was getting to you more than anyone else you’ve been with before.
it’s a struggle to go about your day normally when you’re constantly on the lookout for this stupid girl you cannot get your mind off of for some godforsaken reason; you did not want to run into her and make this situation more awkward than it already is.
the stars are not on your side, apparently, because when you enter the coffee shop you usually do homework at, you see her in the corner. she’s on her phone, scrolling idly through it.
great!
your body cries out for her touch, the invisible string of attraction that tied you to her pulled you in closer and closer and you mentally curse yourself for feeling this strongly about her.
you can’t shake the feeling that you should go over there and say something, anything. but what would you even say?
“hey, sorry i ignored you, you just make me feel things i’ve never felt before and it’s making me question everything because i’ve never felt this way about any of my other hookups.”
…that doesn’t seem like the best option, so you inch closer to the door you just came in from before turning and leaving completely.
‘god’ you think, ‘what the fuck is happening to me?’
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unbeknownst to you, ellie sees you. she sees you walk in, look at her, and immediately leave.
ellie is well aware of your reputation, but it still stings that you don’t care the way that she does. she knows that you probably don’t care much about anyone that you’ve slept with, that it’s not just her you don’t seem to care about, and she tries to be okay with it.
she packed up her stuff, unwilling to sit in the coffee shop while she was sulking, but as she was doing so, her phone lit up with a notification.
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‘take that, dina,’ ellie thinks, ‘she wants me… i think?’
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Note
Hi okay so hear me out , fem reader x mean Ellie, so the reader feels insecure about her looks and ellie seems tired of it and straps the reader in front of the mirror to prove how pretty the reader is , making the reader look at theirself and mean Ellie slaps the reader if they ever disagrees or look away
Pretty girl - (ellie williams x reader)
Hi anon, fuck yes this is fr Ellie coded. And also just a warning I suck with writing smut so i'm sorry if it's bad.... i hope you enjoy
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Pairing: ellie x fem!reader
requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)
warnings: 18+ MDI, slapping, strap usage (r receiving), insecurities, kinda mean ellie, mirrior sex
Summary: in which she showed her girl how pretty she really is
authors note: ugh it feels so good to be back, i have 12 drafts so be ready yall and also new gore fics coming soon because... live laugh love gore
masterlist
"take it" she said through gritted teeth as you felt her pound into you.
"I'm sorry" you cried through broken sobs.
You knew it was your fault. You knew you were the one that yourself into this position.
You and Ellie sat on the couch earlier that day, it was peaceful, the two of you silently sitting together.
A tiktok video landed on your fyp and you couldn't help but rewatch it over and over again.
She was so fucking pretty. She was everything you weren't.
It made you sick to your stomach.
Your gaze fell to Ellie as you imagined her with this girl. They'd make such a good couple, like those couples they put on the front page of magazines.
You wondered what Ellie thought when she saw girls like these on her fyp.
Does she wish you were someone different?
"Baby?" You felt her cold hand on your thigh, as she gave you light squeeze.
"Are you ok? You've been watching the same video over and over again" She asked with concern.
"Yeah" you replied hesitantly.
"I was just thinking"
"thinking of?"
You let out a sigh as you turned away from Ellie, you felt embarrassed to admit this.
"Well she's so... she's so pretty" you started.
You gave your phone to Ellie and you watched as she looked at the girl.
"I'm not that pretty, and I wish I looked like that honestly"
"what did you just say?"
You weren't supposed to answer her question. You weren't supposed to say anything.
But you did.
You fucking answered her.
"I wish I was as pretty as her" you said softly, you felt her eyes burning holes into the side of your face.
You missed the way Ellies jaw ticked, you missed the way the frown deepened on her face, you missed the way her eye twitched.
The girl she loved the most was insulting herself and it broke Ellie's heart.
She wished you saw yourself the way she saw you.
The only thing she could do was to show her girl how pretty she fucking was.
Now here you were, on your knees in front of Ellie's massive mirror.
The rug on the floor was burning into the palms of your hands and knees, tears were streaming down your face, and drool fell from your lips. Your ass stung and your cheeks were red from where Ellie slapped you repeatedly.
She wad ruthless with her pace, not giving you time to think.
She was fucking you stupid.
"C'mon baby" she said out of breath
"tell me how fucking pretty you are" she pinched your nipple and you let out a squeal
"Ellie please"
you felt her hand harshly hit your cheek, you moaned at the stinging feeling it left behind.
"i said tell me how fucking pretty you are" she repeated herself.
She was getting impatient. You could feel it in her pace.
"I'm pretty" another slap fell onto your cheek
"I didn't hear you"
her thrusts got harder. faster.
god you felt her in your stomach.
"im pretty!" You repeated louder.
"Now look at yourself in the mirror when you say it"
you slowly looked up into the mirror taking in your appearance.
You looked fucked.
You looked up at Ellie and there was a proud smirk on her face as she looked at where you and her strap were connected.
"Talk baby, or you won't cum" she said before slowing down .
You let out a scream of frustration, and she giggled.
She fucking giggled.
"please- I'll say it, but please don't stop" you begged.
A fresh coat of tears covered your face.
You were fucking pathetic.
Ellie picked up her pace and you moaned with relief.
"talk" was all she said.
You made eye contact with yourself in the mirror, your mouth fell open, and your eyes rolled to the back of your yeah.
She made you feel so fucking good.
"I'm the- the p-prettiest girl alive"
"that's my fucking girl"
She sped up, you weren't sure how she managed to, but she did. Her fingers roughly met your clit and you moaned at her touch.
You felt something build in your lower stomach. You were so fucking close.
"Ellie" you whimpered
"I know pretty girl, it feels good... c'mon let it out" she spoke to you so gently, like you were the most fragile thing ever.
But in reality she was fucking you senseless, but you loved every fucking second of it. She rubbed your clit for a few more seconds before you felt something snap inside of you.
You moaned loudly, and your body started shaking.
"there you go... my pretty girl" Ellie muttered on top of you as you came down from your high.
You both were breathing heavily, and you made eye contact with your girl through the mirror.
"Hi" you said with a shy smile. All Ellie did was smile back before you felt her move her cock at a steady rhythm once again.
"Ellie" you said softly, as you hissed at the feeling still sensitive from your last orgasm.
"I wasn't done with you, we still have a lot to learn.." she spoke as she thrusted into once again
"now look yourself in the mirror and repeat after me... 'I am the prettiest girl alive"
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fayeriess · 5 months
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⋆。‧₊°♱༺ KARMA ༻♱༉‧₊˚.
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ellie williams x fem!reader
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summary: you and ellie have been separated for a while. and by a while, you mean enough to allow yourself to move on, but there's one single issue. all of her flings look just like you, and you'd be a fool not to notice.
warnings: 18+. mentions of marijuana, marijuana use, reader gets called a name or two, a bit of angst, some drama, not proof-read
a/n: a repost yet again! ;))
Your left hand shook, fingers gripping the red plastic taking refuge within your clammy palm — slowly raising its contents to the white rim. Adrenaline coursed through your body as if your veins were injected with sugar water — eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. 
Staring so intently had never been something you did unashamedly, opting to linger in the background, heart heavy and lip quivering under the extensive pressure of your internal insecurities. 
And this had your jaw clenching. The ridges of the bottom and top row of your teeth grind against each other with such force, that the muscles around your mouth grow sore. A certain ache had you raising your unused hand to rub your index and middle finger against the right side, soothing the developing pinch. 
Swallowing the thick pool of saliva that had formed in the center of your mouth, your lips parted to let a small, dry scoff escape. Muffled by the music pounding through the floor, reverberating from the tips of your toes up to your skull, your disapproving hum went unheard as you tore your eyes away from the dreadful sight. 
It shouldn’t bother you. But after a  whole fucking year, watching her arms circle around someone else’s waist, still set your heart a flame in the worst way possible, charring you from the inside out. 
“You’re seeing what I’m seeing right?” 
Cocking your head to the side, you could feel your neck crack slightly as you parted your lips to speak, loosening your tight grip on the poor solo cup squished between your fingers.
“I’d be blind not to. She looks just fucking like me.”
 Ignoring the slight shakiness that had riddled your body in an unexpected wave of what you had come to recognize as bitterness, you guided the rim of the cup to your parted lips, taking a large gulp of the alcohol, drawing in a tiny breath to help ease the sting. 
“The nerve…” 
You ran your tongue across your lips, staring at your companion for the night right in the eyes as your lips curled upward into an unamused smile. 
“She’s not my problem anymore so it shouldn’t matter.” You mumbled in your cup, knowing she couldn’t hear a word you said due to all the muffled noise practically shoving its way into her ear canals.
You were thankful for the darkness the living room provided, aside from the cheap-looking disco lamp hooked on the ceiling in the middle of the room, the different array of colors slowly becoming an eyesore as the night carried on and you grew miserable.
Clearing your throat, you leaned over, nearly bumping your shoulder with hers. “Did Donovan tell her to come?”
That sly bastard loved to fuck people over. You had grown to let it past your thick skull and alter your mind, seeing him for who he was. He was no longer a close friend — as he had encouraged some fucking outrageous actions from someone you thought you knew better than yourself. Donovan Proctor had dug a hole precisely six feet deep and six feet wide, and you were sure he made it just for you. 
He was an annoying little fly buzzing around your ears, taunting you with the unfortunate circumstance of having to witness your ex-girlfriend swallow someone else’s face. And by the end of the night, you’d hunt the fucker down and choke him out with your bare hands. 
The sudden knot in your stomach wasn’t from watching a stream of saliva glisten between their parted lips, nor the way her thin, rough fingers gripped the other girl's clothed hips, squeezing like she had done with you whenever things would grow hot and heavy; that wasn’t it by any means. 
It was from the unease of having to stare at someone who shared similar aspects with you — physically. Truthfully, it was odd. This whole situation was fucking odd. 
You weren’t friends with Donovan, you weren’t much of a drinker, and you barely fucking left the suffocating comfort of your house, so the question that was begging to be answered was… why?
Why out of all the nights that you had slowly spent rebuilding the courage to face the outside world again — as dramatic as it sounded —  had she decided to grace you with her presence?
Lifting the corner of her plump lip in a snarl, Mina, the one who had dragged you out of your bed earlier in the night, shifted to the side. “I wouldn’t put it past him. As occupied as that man-child is with making his money, he lives for this kinda shit.”
She hummed, “It’s his party, I'm sure he’ll hear it through the grapevine wherever he might be. Then again, she is one of his closest friends so I wouldn’t assume he has it out for you tonight just yet.” 
Craning her neck, tendrils of hair ghosted past your shoulder, tickling the skin there as she scoffed dryly, unzipping her purse. The leather strap shifted on her shoulder as she unzipped it, not once looking down as she trained her eyes to blur the people zooming past her vision. 
“I’m pretty sure she just looked at you.”
Rolling your eyes as far into the back of your skull as they could go, you heaved out a sigh, dramatically puffing out your cheeks, and squeezing your lids shut. “I need a fucking blunt.”
At the feeling of your warm hand entwined with another, you opened your eyes, barely able to process the fact that your feet had started guiding you toward the front door, wide open and awaiting your exit. 
As Mina giggled almost manically ahead of you, the scent of weed wafted up your nose from the open pocket of her beat-up purse. The smile that appeared on your face was one of joy as you followed, suddenly eager at the chance to relax the thoughts devouring your brain.
“I rolled before we came here. I had a feeling we needed one handy. Don’t mean to brag but I was right.” She shouted through the music, whipping her neck to look at you before looking forward again. 
Once your foot hit the first step and the gust of wind that you so desperately needed hit your heated face, you felt as if your lungs were no longer being crushed by the tightness of the secluded house. 
You were surrounded by the woodlands. Light from the moon shone down, casting shadows on the leaf-covered ground, illuminating the different shades of green and browns mixed throughout a small pile that you could tell had been raked earlier in the day before everyone’s arrival. The crisp night air weaving its way through the thin fabric of your clothing raised the hairs on your arms, creating goosebumps you tried to smooth down with a hand as the flick of a lighter reached your ears through the songs of crickets. 
“I can tell you’re trying to contain your murderous rage,” Mina spoke, closing her glossed lips around the tobacco leaf. 
You watched with interest as the end of the blunt developed an orange hue as she inhaled, smoke swirling. Raising an eyebrow at her observation, you bent down, sitting on the last concrete step of the staircase, shoving your hands between your thighs.
Frowning slightly, you shook your head from side to side gently. “Mhm, if you can figure out who it’s directed to I'll give you brownie points.”
She touched her chin, blunt between her fingers as she pretended to think for a minute. “Okay, I have three options.”
You clapped your hands together loudly, the sound echoing, fading with another whoosh of wind. “I’m all ears.”
Extending her hand, she wiggled the blunt in your direction, silently telling you to take it from her which you did without hesitation, taking a long drag before blowing out, coughing in the process. The hit was harsh, the back of your throat taking most of the damage as you tried not to heave up a lung, already growing lightheaded at the lack of oxygen. 
She stood in front of you, hand on her hip. “It's either your ex-girlfriend sucking face with her new one, which is my second option, and our dear old Donovan who we both know is out to get you for whatever reason .” 
Crossing your arms in an ‘X’ formation, you blew a raspberry before hitting the blunt for a second time before handing it off.
“On the right path but one of your answers is wrong. The girlfriend didn’t do anything. The other two, however…”
As Mina went to speak, she removed her eyes from you at the sound of the front door opening, revealing the man of the hour in all his cocky glory as he dragged his feet down to where the both of you were situated. 
His knee dug into your spine uncomfortably as he placed himself on the step above you, the scent of his musky cologne consuming your senses. It was so strong, you could practically taste it on the tip of your tongue. 
“What are we gossiping about out here.” He teased, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth in a taunting manner. 
He didn’t have to look at your face to know he was clawing his way under your skin — no. The rigidness of your spine told him all he needed to know and you could feel the enjoyment radiating off of him, looming over you as if were a storm cloud.
Gritting your teeth, you watched from the corner of your eye as he plucked the blunt from Mina’s hand, flicking the ash on a leaf that was in the odd shape of a boot, you thought. “We’re talking about you and how you like to ruin my life.” Turning your body to face him, a condescending smile painted your lips, teeth and all as you narrowed your eyes. 
He shrugged, feigning innocence as he took his bottom lip between his teeth, concealing the smug grin that threatened to make itself known. You never had the urge to smack someone as badly as you did at that moment.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“Cut the shit, you invited her here after I specifically asked you not to. And I was being nice about it too.” 
Donovan shook his head. “Since when was cunt a nice word?”
“Since you started wearing my patience thin. That was the nicest you were gonna get, so you should be grateful.” 
“I’m always looking forward to your spicy attitude, little b.” 
Furrowing your brows, the skin between them creased as your eyes ran across his dimly lit face, the muffled sound of music and shouting keeping you grounded as you stared straight at him, face as hard as stone, fingernails digging into your palms as you balled them into tight fists.
‘Little B.’
It had been a nickname he had created for you after your unfortunate break-up with his good friend. 
Little Bitch. That’s exactly what you were to him. 
“Fuck you.” You spat. 
The longer he sat there, with that stupid smug look on his face, the harder it was to restrain yourself from punching him square in the jaw.”
“Donovan,” Mina began, sensing the thick tension that had formed between the both of you, the silence uncomfortable as she leaned forward cautiously.
“What Mina?” He asked, tongue darting from behind his chapped lips to lick at the dry skin there. Averting his gaze from your burning irises to stare at her, he chuckled. “She knows I’m just fucking around with her.” 
Outstretching his hand, he blew smoke directly in your face, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut, chest heaving up and down quickly. 
The anger within you had reached its peak. One more sly comment and you’d deck him in the face, no hesitation. Snatching it from him, your hand shook, fingers growing numb once again as you bit the skin of your bottom lip, taking a long inhale before you exhaled, concentrating on which direction the wind decided to take it. 
“Just leave me alone, Ellie.”
Simultaneously, the three of you whipped your heads toward the door, watching as your ex-girlfriend, Ellie emerged from the doorway, hands tucked into the deep pockets of her jeans, clomping down the stairs with such speed that she was past you before you could blink. 
“C’mon,” She pleaded, grabbing her wrist to stop her from moving any further. Well aware of the audience she had a couple of feet away, she opened her mouth to speak only to find herself blubbering like a fish out of water. “What did Barry even say to you?”
From your position, you could see your doppelganger roll her eyes, arms crossed over her massive chest as she snatched her arm back from Ellie’s tight grip. 
“He said a lot of things.” 
Scoffing, Ellie shook her head in confusion, removing one of her hands from its position to pinch the bridge of her nose in mind frustration. “About what?”
The girl looked around, scanning her surroundings before her eyes landed on you, malice pooling deep within her eyes as she laughed without emotion. “About her.” 
Pointing a finger in your direction, she narrowed her eyes into slits, as if you were the cause of all her problems. 
Well, unbeknownst to you, you secretly were. Not just because Barry had told her all about your intense relationship with her current girlfriend, but because it was blatantly obvious that said girlfriend wasn’t over you whatsoever. 
She wasn’t stupid. Her appearance is what lured Ellie to her in the first place, and you were the one to blame. In every single one of Ellie’s relationships, she’s managed to find women who shared more than one similarity with you physically and flaunt them off on social media. 
In truth, you hadn’t been keeping up with her as much as she had done with you, too focused on your life issues and your close-to-impossible healing process to give a fuck about how many women she had gotten intimate with. Now, as you sat there on the steps, blunt in hand, eyes as wide as saucers, another rush of adrenaline coursing through you, it was as if the rose-colored glasses had been magically lifted from in front of your eyes. 
Ellie Williams had looked for you in every girl she found, and yet, none of them were you. That was the unfortunate conclusion you had come to realize as the five of you uncomfortably looked at one another.
You were caught in the crossfire. Fuck. Why’d she always manage to fuck shit up for you?
Aiming your eyes toward the ground, your ears picked up the sound of crunching gravel as Ellie spun on her heels, rapidly blinking in surprise, chest suddenly tightening as her eyes landed upon your hunched figure, tugging on a shoelace to occupy yourself from the tense silence. 
Her girlfriend looked at her with such disgust that if looks could kill, you were sure Ellie would be more than six feet under at this point. She raised a finger, poking the left side of her chest, momentarily knocking her off balance, lips raised in a snarl as she spoke through gritted teeth. “Un-fucking-believable.” 
And with that, she turned, stomping away from the auburn-haired girl, lips pursed thinly as she fished her keys from her purse. 
Sighing to yourself, you took another drag, lifting your head, eyes boring into the back of the poor girl who hated your guts, the thin material of her black low-cut shirt wrinkling as she wiped her palms on her sides, drying her hands from what you assumed was her tears as you frowned to yourself.
Darting your eyes toward your ex, you could feel the organ in your chest begin to beat rapidly. Banging so loudly against your chest that you were positive the force was strong enough to crack a rib or two as you extended a shaky hand, lifting a shoulder in a shrug. “Do you want a hit?” 
“Go to hell.” 
With your jaw slack, you watched as she retreated up the steps, aggressively yanking open the door to disappear back inside, the array of colors from the disco light reflecting off of the porch pillars that held the small rain roof. 
The expression that morphed the muscles of your face was one of anger as you spun around on the step to face her, trying your hardest not to focus on the awkwardness oozing off Donovan and Mina who had just been watching the situation play out in real-time, both speechless for once in their lives as you yelled at her back. 
“No cause what the fuck was that?” You asked, genuinely confused. 
Cocking your neck in Mina’s direction, you passed her the burning tobacco leaf, guiding yourself up the steps and through the crowd of sweaty bodies and the lingering stench of BO that threatened to burn your nose hairs as you searched for her. 
“Ellie!” 
Quickening her pace, she let the darkness of a narrow hallway consume her, swallowing her figure as she made her way past the three doors on either side of her, bee-lining it straight to the bathroom.
You were growing increasingly frustrated at this game of cat and mouse that had developed in the five minutes that the two of you had been around each other.
 Why you were chasing after her? 
You had no clue, but you did have a ton of fucking questions that were itching to be answered and as she turned the metal knob of the door, you swore to yourself that you’d seek them all out tonight, in the privacy of Donovan’s shabby, yet surprisingly clean bathroom. Away from curious eyes. 
Sliding yourself in the crack of the door right before she closed it, you rubbed your eyes at the change in lighting, pressure building up behind your sockets from the harsh fluorescence. 
“What’s wrong with you?!”
At her words, you turned on your toes, mere inches away from her face as she twisted the lock behind her, green eyes twinging with dislike: and for some reason that broke your heart in two. 
You could never dislike her. Even if she hurt you the way she did.
Why couldn’t you be mad at her? That was something you had asked yourself more than a handful of times as the months went on and she occupied herself with other women. 
It wasn’t fucking fair. 
Pursing your lips, you crossed your arms over your chest, inhaling the scent of her sweet cologne, suddenly feeling small under her burning gaze. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? Do you seriously think people haven’t fucking showed me who you’ve been snuggling up to after we broke up? It’s fucking weird.”
The lines on her face slowly faded away as she wrung her hands together, leaning her head against the cool wood of the door, the small scrunchie holding the hair that she lazily put up pinching the skin of her head as she closed her eyes. 
It was quiet aside from the muffled chatter outside and the air vent above, collecting dust every second the two of you stood there in silence.
Raising a brow, you rolled your eyes, sighing dramatically as she peeked at you through narrow slits. From your position, clothed calves touching the edge of the cool bathtub, it still looked like her eyes were screwed shut. 
She was staring at you — wracking her brain for a sentence to say that wouldn’t seem so passive-aggressive as if she didn’t just tell you to go to hell nearly two minutes ago. 
The bright yellowed hue of the bathroom light illuminated your stoney face, casting a glow so angry that her eyes had started to water. 
“So you’re just gonna stay silent? Ellie, they always look just fucking like me.” You seethed, tapping the point of your shoe against the tile floor. 
At that, she opened her eyes, shaking her head from side to side. “I don’t know what else you want me to say.” 
“I want you to explain what the fuck is going on?”
“There’s nothing to explain, just let it go. Go back to the party.”
“No. You’re not shutting me out this time. It’s not a coincidence that every single girl you’ve decided to bury your fucking fingers into sorta looks like me.” 
“Why’d you have to say it like that?”
You scoffed at her lame attempt to play dumb. “‘Cause that’s exactly what it is and it’s embarrassing for you.”
“This isn’t something I wanna talk about right now.” 
Her response was curt, void of all emotion. 
“Well, too bad. I'm not letting you leave until we figure this shit out. We’re adults Ellie. Talk to me like one.”
Running her tongue across the top row of her teeth, the freckled girl sucked in a deep breath, crossing her left over her right, pressing her back flat against the wooden door. “That’s real funny coming from you.”
“What are you talking about?” 
“Don’t play dumb with me.” She sighed, arms flexing as she scratched the nape of her neck — a nervous habit. “You ask Donovan to tell me not to show up, and now you want me to act like an adult?” 
“I wonder why I said that?” You pressed, trying to justify your cowardice actions.
Ellie, as smart as she was, had come to realize long ago that she was in no position to say the things she was spewing in your direction, but she just couldn’t help herself. In her eyes, treating you like shit on the bottom of her shoe was the only way to go about things, even if she wanted nothing more than to have you touch her again. 
Reaching out a hand, you grabbed her jaw, forcing her to look you in the eye as the heat of your open mouth fanned her face, causing her to wet the skin of her lips. 
You weren’t exactly sure if the sudden confidence that took over was from the heat of the moment or the current high you were experiencing but you didn’t care. You did not give a single fuck that you were as close as you were to her, feeling the heat of her skin against yours as her facade cracked with every passing second.
“Please.”
The change of emotion gave you whiplash. You were used to her being straightforward with you, words never faltering no matter how hurtful they might’ve been. That was something you loved about her — you still do. She always kept you on her toes, and now you were flat-footed.
“I can’t do this with you.” You whispered.
Her small sigh echoed in your ears as you rubbed your thumb against her jaw, feeling her left hand circle around your wrist, gently removing it from her face, fingers ghosting over the palm of your hand before she entwined her fingers with yours.
It hurt all the more, knowing that this was finally it. She’d finally find the courage to leave you there, despite the unknown force pulling her body in your direction, rattling her to the very core. 
You were still in love with her. She was still in love with you.
Simple.
Ellie Williams wasn’t sure of a lot of things, but one thing that she would bet her whole life on was that you were her karma. 
And God, did it bite her in the ass.
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dumblilb · 8 months
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I’m Losing It Lately ˚⋆୨୧⋆ ˚
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Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader
(Synopsis: Ellie thinks you’re the prettiest girl she’s ever seen. And that terrifies her. So when you hint at liking her back she can’t help but think the worst. Inspired by the song Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo. )
(Warnings: Loser!Ellie, a coming out scene, mentions of anxiety, making out, angst, fluff, lesbians 🤯 )
(Words: 2037)
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Ellie has know you for years. You have been one of her best friends since she moved to Jackson. So it was exciting when you were paired as roommates once you both headed off to college. That was till recently.
Ellie had been feeling uneasy around you. Entering a room and immediately leaving if she saw you in it. She just couldn’t help the butterflies that swarmed her stomach when she looked at you. And it was making her sick. Watching you get ready in the morning. Applying lip liner making her wonder what your lips felt like. Or helping you with the little bows you would tie on your hair and your bags. Or the way you rested a hand on her thigh when you would have movie nights. Sometimes how you looked at her when you couldn’t sleep and needed someone to talk to, would send her into overdrive. Your eyes would be all sleepy and and your lips all puffy after biting them subconsciously. You would wrap yourself in fluffy throw blankets and hold that stupid teddy bear she got you when you were 16. And she just thinks to herself-
“How could someone look so beautiful?”
She wanted to crawl into a hole every time she noticed you staring at her plain outfits or the boxers she wore to bed. She wished she could dress well like you. Maybe you would like her then. It made her so insecure knowing you had seen her grow up. Seen all her awkward phases and nerdy interests. You had always seemed so put together and cool to her.
One night you were eating take out and watching her play a video game on the tv when you started messing with her hair.
“Ellie…”
“What’s up? Do I need a hairbrush or something?” She says turning her attention to you. Chuckling awkwardly as she starts to flatten down her hair.
“Oh! No you’re fine. You look great. Um… can I ask you something?” You question bringing your knees to your chest. Making her put the controller down nervously to fully face you.
“Anything…”
“You like girls right?” You ask so scared it almost sounds like a whisper. Ellie’s body flinches, straightening up. She never expected to have this conversation with you. It always just seemed like unspoken knowledge.
“Yeah I do..”
“How did you know?” You ask, eyes glossy.
“Well, I personally was just never attracted to men in that way. It’s different for everyone, but for me when ever a man would try to get romantic with me I would run. It just never felt right…” Ellie says eyeing you down. You were trembling. You looked terrified.
“Ellie…”
“Yeah…”
“I think I like girls.” You sob and she brings you into her arms. Holding you, rubbing your back softly.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” She whispers.
The entire night she talked to you about old flings and answered any questions you had. But her stomach had dropped from the moments your confession left your lips. Cause it made what she was feeling all to real. It it was scary. Knowing that you like girls means that if you do reject her is cause you don’t like her personally. And not just because she was a girl. Cause how could someone so pretty and kind, like someone like her? So she started avoiding you.
You started to beg Dina to tell you if Ellie had said anything.
“Is she mad at me? I mean Dina please, I need to know. She’s acting like the sight of me disgusts her. I’m worried I did something wrong.” You plead sitting down on her couch.
“She’s not mad at you I promise.” Dina sighs grabbing a bottle of water and sitting down next to you.
“Then why is she avoiding me?” You say and she puts a hand on your shoulder.
“You really need to ask her yourself. How about this, I’m gonna have us all over here tomorrow night for a little party, get together, whatever you wanna call it. And since I’m forcing her to be here you can talk to her.” Dina says and you smile at the plan. The not knowing was killing you and this was the perfect way to get answers.
Later that night while making dinner you look over at Ellie who is finally taking off her headphones.
“Hey are you going to Dina’s tomorrow?” You ask and she lets out a groan.
“Yeah, she said if I don’t she’ll break in and steal all my weed. So…” Ellie explains and walks to her bed.
“Not hungry?” You ask concerned.
“No I’ll eat tomorrow. Night.” She says and turns off the little light above her bed before leaning over and shutting the door between the main room and the bedroom.
You finish up and sit down on the couch. Not wanting to go in there and bother her anymore. Your mind was wandering. You had been friends for 6 years. Little fights had happened before. But this wasn’t a fight. It felt like she was evicting you from her life.
She didn’t want to talk to you. Or look at you. The sound of your voice would make her shiver and if you accidentally brushed her leg on the couch she would scoot so far over she was almost on the arm rest. It was embarrassing. You felt almost disgusting. Like some parasite invading her space. She wouldn’t play her guitar for you anymore. And you wouldn’t find the little drawings she had done of you scattered on her walls.
It hurt. Cause you had finally bucked up the courage to ask her out when this all started happening. Maybe she knew you liked her and that was why she was avoiding you? Cause she didn’t like you back. The thoughts made you feel uneasy as you laid down and quietly cried.
The next morning Ellie would find you laying on the couch passed out with tear stains covering your cheeks. She felt horrible knowing she was the reason. She was your best friend and staying away from you was probably really hard on you. But she needed to get over her crush before you could go back to normal. So she rushed out of the dorm that morning and headed straight to class.
You felt groggy and out of it when you woke up but it was okay cause you didn’t have any classes today. You spent the day trying to hype yourself up for tonight.
“I have to look perfect.” You thought as you put on your everyday jewelry and slipped on your shoes. You tried to go for a model off duty kind of look, remembering when you wore a similar outfit and she said you looked nice. You did the finishing touches on your makeup and put on a perfume you knew she liked.
You took a deep breath before making your way to Dina’s. You knocked and the door swung open.
“Oh good! You’re here!” Dina smiles and you can tell how the party has been going. She was already tipsy. Jesse was in the corner dancing to disturbia by Rihanna. And some other friends were doing shots at the counter.
Then you saw her. Sitting on the windowsill. Joint resting between her fingers as she looks outside. You walk over and sit next to her causing her to squirm a little.
“Hey.” You breathe out and she sighs.
“Hey.”
“So… I was wondering if we could talk?” You ask fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. They seemed a little much now looking at how casual everyone else had dressed. I mean Ellie was wearing some jeans, a hoodie, and her converse. And she still looked like the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen.
She blew out a puff of smoke turning to look at you. Visibly uncomfortable with the conversation already.
“I- yeah I guess.”
“Ellie. I really like you. I do but……“ you start to say when she cuts you off and stands up.
“Please don’t. It’s just mean. I don’t want your attempt at making me feel better.” She says getting worked up.
“What?” You say shocked as she looks down at you. People start to stare.
“I have been in love with you for years. And I never complained when you would talk about other people, because I knew I’d never have a chance. But now I know I could have and it’s the worst feeling in the world. And I can’t sit here and listen to you try and let me down easy. You’re my best friend but I can’t do this anymore.” She says pointing between you guys, hot tears streaming down her face. The party had gone quiet. Everyone staring at the sight in-front of them.
“Ellie please, that’s not…” You say reaching a hand out to hold hers and and she pulls it away.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” She says and walks out the door. You quickly get up and chase after her.
She practically slammed the door in your face as she went inside. You go in and shut it behind you.
“I’m serious I need to be alone right now. God this is so embarrassing!” She yells at herself.
“Ellie I don’t care what you think. I need you to listen to me right now!” You say and shove her down on the couch making her go wide eyed.
“I was trying to tell you how much I like you. And how Ive wanted to be with you for a long time now. And every time I try to tell you, you push me away. And I do care about you. I care about you so much and it’s killing me to know that you’ve felt this way all this time. You are the most perfect and beautiful girl I have ever seen and I would do anything for you to understand that. We have been friends for so long, I didn’t want to ruin that at first but it was torcher. Because just the sight of you gives me butterflies and I can’t take it anymore.” You sob.
The hours of work you had put into your appearance seemingly was for nothing. Because as you kneeled down in front of her and grasped her hands she just stared at you. Your makeup was smudged from the tears and your hair was disheveled. But even in the moment of chaos and confessions all she could think about was how beautiful you were.
“I didn’t want to lose you.“ Ellie whispers placing her forehead to yours.
“You shouldn’t have pushed me away.” You choke out and she wipes a tear from your face making you took up at her.
“I’ll never push you away again.” She smiles softly. Tilting your chin up she brings your lips close. You can feel her breath on your face. Closing the gap slowly you press your lips to hers. It was gentle and sweet. Ellie had always wanted to know what your lips felt like, and it was better than she could have imagined. You tangled your fingers in her hair pulling her closer.
You could feel her smile into the kiss. Her hands gripped your waist as she pulled you both up. Stumbling backwards into the bedroom. You fell back onto her bed as she started to lift your shirt. You lift your back for easier access, when you feel her stop.
“Is something wrong?” You ask, nervous you already screwed this up.
“No, nothings wrong. It’s just… I’ve wanted this to happen for so long, trust me. But you’re not just some girl I met at a party. You’re you… and I want to do this right.” She says laying next to you now, propping herself up on her arm. Running her fingers through your hair.
“Let me take you out.” She says and you give her a playful smile.
“Like a date?” You grin. She places a small kiss you your lips. Parting with a soft whisper.
“Yes, like a date.” She smiles.
“Well I can’t wait for this date then.” You whisper back pulling her in closer.
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ourautumn86 · 7 months
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Hey so could u write smth where reader is about to shower but like has a breakdown abt feeling insecure of her body and Ellie comforts her, could be smutty if u want! (Pls include stretch marks as an insecurity bc I've been feeling so insecure abt mine lately and I have them everywhere😭 my hips, thighs, stomach, boobs even!)
a/n; okay but think about how soft and reassuring she’ll be…
perfectly imperfect
ellie williams x insecure reader
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cw; a lil of angst, crying, insecurity about weight and body, fluff, kisses and ellie being the best girlfriend ever.
you felt tears swell in your eyes as you stared at your reflection. you hated what you saw, the fat that enveloped your body under skin, how it was scarred with stretch marks around your hips, belly and tits…
you bit down on your lip, feeling the knot on your stomach tighten. how could anyone find you attractive like this?
tears were falling down your cheeks when the door to your apartment swung open, ellie stepping in with recently bought groceries.
“babe?” she called out for you as she left them on the counter of the kitchen, not finding you anywhere before she heard the soft sobs coming from the bathroom. scared, in case you’d gotten hurt, she hurried to open the door, finding you completely naked and with reddish puffy eyes. “baby? what’s wrong?” she inquired, a frown of worry showing on her beautiful features. you cried against her chest, her arms carefully surrounding your body as if you were the most pressure thing she had ever touched —‘cause you were—. she shushed you, stroking you back. “talk to me pretty girl, you know i hate it when you cry.”
“i’m so ugly els, i hate myself.” her frown deepened.
“what are you talking about doll, you’re the prettiest thing i’ve ever seen.” you shook your head, her hands cupping your face, thumbs drying away your tears.
“i’m fat, and have stretch marks everywhere. how can you love me? there are so many beautiful girls out there… i’m just waiting for you to realize that and leave…” she hushed you, cutting you off.
“baby. i love you. and your body is beautiful. i love it. i love your little rolls and your beautiful stretch marks. they don’t change the way you look for me. you’re intelligent. and hot, and gorgeous and i couldn’t have wished for a better girlfriend.” she kissed your cheeks. “and i’m not gonna leave you. ever. you know that.” she pecked your lips.
“you promise?” you voice was broken, a thin line.
“i promise.” she nodded. “i can’t wait to love you ‘till the day i die. and if i have to remind you how beautiful you are every day i’ll do it. you’re perfect. look at you.” she turned you around so you could watch yourself, her hands caressing your sides. “so pretty and perfect for me…” she kissed your shoulder. “i love everything about you. you drive me crazy.” you smiled, leaning against her chest as she softly kissed your head. “want me to show you?” you looked into her emerald eyes, shining with determination. after you nodded she smiled. “come on.” she took of her own shirt. “let’s get in the shower, hm?”
ellie spent the whole afternoon taking care of you; after having washed your body with her own hands —kissing you every inch of your skin and praising you for how beautiful and breathtaking you were— and took care of your hair she had kissed every inch of your body and over your stretch marks, making your favorite meal and buying you your favorite treats, watching your favorite movie, doing face masks, brushing your hair, cuddling you to sleep…
and every few minutes she’d repeat: ‘you’re perfect. i love you.’
and then, every time you’d look at yourself you could hear it. and you’d say. “i’m perfect. i love me.”
‘cause you were perfect just the way you were.
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