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#(*assuming as is often done that the books are set when they were published)
skyriderwednesday · 5 months
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So inconsistencies in books are all right by me, I've read far too much Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie to really care if an author keeps the details of their works straight or not (the wobbly bits are where the headcanons and fanfics go :D).
Which is to establish that it's absolutely out of love that I find it absolutely hilarious that Harriet ages backwards between her first and second appearances.
Yeah, sorry to bother you Dorothy, but if she's 29 in 1930 she can't possibly be 28 in 1932*--
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xenosagaepisodeone · 10 months
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the thing is though that these checklists don’t mean if you have BPD it is not allowed that you have nightmares / if you have CPTSD you are legally obligated to never experience impulsiveness etc etc; it’s not just “making stuff up” — though ig in the strictest sense yeah, first you make stuff up but then you test it and see if your hypotheses align with the population. Basically chances are if you meet 8/9 BPD criteria and some for CPTSD but not enough to meet the diagnostic standard (which afaik isn’t recognized just yet but i think they’re trying to get it recognized in the diagnostic manuals but correct me if i’m wrong) then it’s pretty likely you’re going to respond better to BPD treatment and ALSO if your practitioner completely ignores one diagnosis in favor of the other they’re probably not that good at their job. Psychology doesn’t speak in “rules” and absolutes, it speaks in trends and likelihoods and everyone trying to sell you a 100% true and immovable psychology fact is a sham
as someone who unfortunately has a degree in psychology (and whose undergrad began right as the infamous replication crisis became more widely acknowledged in the field), yes, historically a lot of this field is bias and hegemony imbued with some metric. when homosexuality was still classified as a mental disorder, the conversion therapy program by masters and johnson (who were like, some of the earliest pioneers of research into human sexual responses lmao) would often boast high success rates due to participants merely adopting signifiers of heterosexuality. the modern day pop psychology movement (and it's subfields, new ageism, self help books, uhhh Market Christianity) also cannot be disentangled from academic psychology, which further bends the way in which people understand and interact with psychological phenomena. this of course does not mean that all data is junk data, or that methods of measurement are without some rigor, or that therapy is completely useless, but it's just patently incorrect to insist that this field is even predominantly an apolitical force attempting to further our understanding of human beings. it's bizarre that you acknowledge that credentialized individuals in the field can be flawed while also being uncritical of psychological categorization for mental illness.
It's not that I don't get what you're saying, but it's not reflective of reality. yes, I know that practitioners are supposed to help you feel out your symptoms and see what treatment works for you, but that isn't just what they're doing (assuming it's even being done with care and competence). it's inaccurate to insist that psychology doesn't speak in absolutes- I know that we are taught not to do this, but for any social science related field this is the equivalent of going "stop hitting yourself". in any practical real-world setting where accredited institutional psychology is present, there are rules. in a clinical setting, there are rules, and you can be inpatiented against your will for breaking those rules (or recently here in canada, randomly stripped of your driver's license). in neuromarketing (<- yes this is a real discipline.), which is intensively oriented towards results due to the profit incentive, there are rules. the conditions of release for many offenders necessitates staying on court-mandated medication or participating in specific programs. when H.B. Phrenology from The Heritage Foundation wheels out his thousandth manicured study on crime and race (and when a different journal publishes a study indirectly debunking it), that is him tacitly acknowledging that there are rules.
anyway did I ever tell you guys that in my first year at University of Toronto (UTSC campus baybee) they brought in a guest speaker to my abnormal psych course who gave us a lengthy talk on how autogynephilia theory is objectively true. this was like 2013ish maybe 2014 btw.
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Wonderwall
Note: This was transcribed from my AO3.
Ship: Byler POV: third person Written: August 20, 2022 First Published: August 20, 2022 Word Count: 4,381 - A/N: This story is going to be set in a slightly different timeline, and I mean that literally. The current year this fic takes place is 2003, and the Party is all 19 years old, Mike and Will working at a comic book store together.
This is a little different from my usual fics, me never really having done but one actual au before, so this was a little different, but since all of the supernatural/UD stuff is still in place just moved forward about a decade or so, it's not too far off. - Summary: Mike lends his sweater to Will. When Will is home, he realizes he still has Mike's sweater and finds Mike's iPod. Out of curiosity, Will looks through Mike's music and finds a playlist with his name in the title.
Mike shimmies out of his hoodie, handing it to Will. Quickly and shakily, Will takes it from him, slipping it over his head, the October having given him the chills after he forgot a jacket of his own. The long blue material falls halfway to Will’s knees, the sleeves hanging off of his hands just a bit, but still looking tight against the slightly shorter boy. The two shared clothes often, the only real trouble being that Mike is tall and quite thin, a very lanky kid, whereas Will is of average height, but has more muscle.
“There,” Mike says, throwing his arm back around Will’s shoulder. “Better?”
“Warming up already,” Will says, his teeth still chittering a bit as he, Mike, and the rest of the Party continue throughout the corn maze.
Halloween was once Will’s favorite time of year, and he still enjoys the holiday itself, but other things about the season make his skin crawl. Being kidnapped by a creature from another dimension when he was only twelve years old, only to be possessed by another a year later wasn’t exactly something he looked forward to remembering, and he often times felt as though the holiday was now a way to celebrate that he didn’t die , even though that, now, he’s not sure it would make much of a difference.
It’s not that Will wishes he had died, because he doesn’t. He’s quite thankful to be alive, and, quite frankly, doesn’t want to know how dying there would’ve ended, but he’s not sure that the trauma he’s been carrying around with him is much better.
Mike can sense that something is off with Will, pulling the brunette close to his side (despite them already being far too close, in Will’s opinion, because what if someone sees and says something?). When Mike whispers Will’s name in that voice he’s heard a million times over every time the fall comes around or something important is going on, Will shyly looks up at Mike, a light blush falling over his cheeks as he looks at the dark brown eyes already glued on him.
“You okay?” Mike asks, and Will has the urge to bury his head in Mike’s chest, but he doesn't. 
He’s just your friend , Will reminds himself, even if he knows that Mike wouldn’t mind. The number of times Mike has pulled Will into his chest as a form of comfort was too great for him to react poorly if Will were to do it. Still, Will doesn’t– just in case.
“Mhm,” Will hums, looking away, and once again he’s pulled closer to Mike’s side.
How does he do that? It was a mystery to Will how Mike constantly managed to pull Will closer to him even if it felt like there wasn’t any more space to go. It was like parts of Will melted into Mike (which, yes, they did , but it was more of a mental game on Will’s part than anything else).
“Blue looks good on you,” Mike says, Will assumes as an attempt to try and cheer him up.
“Come on, slowpokes! You’re gonna get left behind if you don’t keep up,” Max shouts at them, Mike flipping her off and her rolling her eyes before she disappears around a corner, a hand on her wrist, El probably pulling her along as she finds the Party’s way out.
“I love that girl,” Lucas says, and Will swears he’s about to melt into a puddle of love-goo right in front of him.
“Tell that to her girlfriend,” Dustin jokes, but Will knows more than he does.
Will remembers when he and Max had first talked about things like that– not liking who you were brought up thinking you’re supposed to– and how Max had mentioned that she loves Lucas, but that she thinks she also might love El, and how Will had confided in her about his feelings for Mike. They bonded over other things, too, but Max had been able to tell something was bothering Will, and it all spilled out in one of the big booths at Scoops Ahoy the summer of 1998.
Max scoots into the large, circular booth, pulling Will to sit down with her, the rest of the Party getting the ice creams they want, Max having told Lucas what to get her, and Mike already knowing Will’s favorite. Sitting in the direct middle of the booth, Max squints at Will for a moment, smiling to herself confidently and sitting up as if she’s just won an argument.
“Max, what the—”
“Liking boys isn’t a bad thing,” Max says, her palms flat on the table, her voice soft and low, but still clear and audible to Will sitting next to her.
“W-what?” Will stutters out, trying to figure out how she knows.
“Sorry. That was…blunt. I should have led with something else. But you’re not the only one who likes someone they shouldn’t.”
“But you and Lucas—”
“No, don’t get me wrong, I love Lucas. I really, really do. Like, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. But El…”
“El?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. It’s stupid. I don’t even know how a person can be in love with two people at once, but– I don’t know. But you liking guys? It’s not that bad of a thing, Will. There’s a hell of a lot worse out there,” Max says referring to the events of the previous fall.
“You’re not wrong…”
“I think it’s nice,” Will says quietly, but his three childhood friends hear him, each of them looking at Will as they continue walking, rounding the same corner Max and El had just a moment ago.
“Yeah?” Lucas asks, and Will nods.
“They have someone who understands them, and that someone is each other,” Will says with a smile, and Lucas nods.
“Sort of like you and me,” Mike says, his face leaning close to Will’s and drawing back again quickly, and if it wasn’t happening to you, you might not even notice.
“Y-yeah. Like you and me.”
“What about us?” Dustin questions with a pout, and Mike starts rambling about something that Will couldn’t care less to listen to, knowing full well he’s already heard about whatever it is plenty of times now.
The one downside to having been friends with someone for your entire life is that there’s nothing new to tell when you’re all grown up. All of them being nineteen now, Will has spent 70% of his life knowing Mike and being his best friend. He doesn’t really know his friendship circle without Mike. Because of that, Will knows practically all there is to know. Sure, there’s the annoying habits that come and go, but everything else it feels like they experience together. It’s always been like that. Mike and Will, Will and Mike, side by side every second of their lives (if they were able to be).
“Took you long enough!” Max exclaims once the exit is in view, her and El clearly having been there for at least a few minutes.
“Sorry, Maxine. We were busy talking about boy stuff,” Mike says, the two of them having the most sibling-like relationship in the group (with the exception, of course, of Will and El, the two actual siblings in the Party).
“You can talk and walk at the same time, Michael. Now hurry your lazy ass up. We have to go to the haunted house next!”
Oh. Will gets nervous at just the thought of a haunted house. It’s not that he’s against them, but he doesn’t do so well with them during the only time of year that you ever really see them. Will shrugs Mike’s arm off of him, quickly hurrying to the exit, giving El a hug, the two of them already having talked the evening over hours ago, Max handing him her skateboard afterward.
“You’re leaving?” Mike asks, sticking his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“Yeah, I just– I know I got over all that stuff, but I still don’t exactly want to be reminded of any of it. I’ll skate by and give you your board back tomorrow, alright?” Will says, pointing to the road.
“Just don’t break it, Will the Wise. Have fun at home!” Max says just before El pulls her along.
“Bye Will! I’ll be home later!” El shouts as her and Max run off toward the haunted house in a bliss of laughter.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Mike asks, and Will can already tell that he’s getting worried.
“What? No. I’m fine, Mike. I’m an adult now. I’m pretty sure I can handle skating home in the dark on my own.”
“Are you sure?”
“Mike. I get that you’re worried about me, and I get it. Every year, just like clockwork, right? I get all antsy over my memories and you get all worried that I’m going to freak out or something, but that never happens.”
“But what if it does?”
“Then you’ll be the first to know. Except for maybe El, but she kind of lives with me, so…”
“Okay,” Mike says with a slight chuckle at Will’s last words. “But you promise you’ll call?”
“I promise . Scout’s honor,” Will says, putting his hand over his heart.
“You’re such a dork.”
“No less than you.”
“Be careful,” Mike says, taking only one step back.
“Yeah. I will,” Will says, him taking a few steps back now.
Why was leaving each other always so hard? It’s not like anything had ever happened that would give them– Will reason to hate leaving Mike. It made sense for Mike to worry, to want to go with, because the last time he didn’t things didn’t turn out well, but for Will? Mike had always been safe. Will shouldn’t have a reason to worry. But maybe he’s just scared about the same thing happening to Mike that happened to him.
Finally, Will takes the final plunge and turns around, making his way toward the street. There’s a moment where he swears he hears Mike murmur something more, but when he turns back to look Mike is already walking off with the rest of the Party. It’s just your head playing tricks on you, Will.
When Will gets home he goes straight to his room, not bothering to say hi to his mom and Hopper who are sitting on the couch watching something together. In his room, Will leans Max’s skateboard against his dresser and goes over to his window, closing the curtains and blinds as he’d forgotten to earlier before he’d left for the evening. Will then sits on his bed, taking off his shoes, not bothering to slip off his socks, too.
Will then goes to take off Mike’s blue hoodie he’d been given to use, silently cursing at himself for not giving it back. As he takes it off, Mike’s ipod falls out the pocket, earbuds along with it. Will leaves it sitting on his bed, putting the hoodie on the back of his desk chair and finishing changing into pajamas before grabbing the ipod and putting the earbuds in.
Mike and Will share everything. Literally. Mike’s first flip phone? Will’s, too. His first bike? Also Will’s. Will’s watch? Mike had used it plenty. And it didn’t end there. Will lies down on his back in the center of his bed, holding the ipod in front of him, his arm far out before he pulls it close to see the small screen better. Normally he’d go to songs and put on his favorite, but he’s been getting a little bored of it lately, so he instead goes to playlists. There’s only a few, but there’s a specific one that catches his eye titled ‘Will the Wise’ .
Curiosity getting the best of him, Will selects the playlist with his name and hits play. The first song on the playlist doesn’t surprise him– ‘You’ve Got a Friend in Me’ by Randy Newman. It was a song that the two had once listened to on repeat when they first watched the movie ‘Toy Story’ together when it had come out. They weren’t going to at first, but after Mike was forced to take his younger sister Holly to see it one day so his mother, Karen, could clean the house, Mike knew he had to take Will to see it.
After that, the songs slowly fade from being friendship to something else. Not that Will is complaining, because he’s not. He knows how he feels about Mike. He knows that he’s in love with his best friend. But for Mike to feel that way about him back? It was almost daunting to Will, so he instead assumes that Mike means the romantic songs as friendship songs. A platonic love, as he’s heard about from Max plenty of times, explaining that you don’t have to be attracted to someone to love them– which, of course, Will already knew, but her explaining it definitely had gotten Will thinking. Did he love Mike romantically? Was it platonic? Or is that what makes it different from Dustin and Lucas?
Of course, the love Will feels for Mike isn’t platonic, but he had to ask himself. Growing up with Max and Robin being the only people who really understood or that he could talk to about it was hard. He wished he had a guy to look up to (not that he didn’t appreciate Max and Robin, because he did, and still does, but it’s different). So, naturally, he had to figure things out himself, and that meant a lot of self-doubt and questioning, but by the time high school graduation rolled around, Will was 100% certain he was gay and in love with Mike, and he was right, because those feelings haven’t left, and he is definitely gay.
As Will continues listening to the music, one song specifically causes him to go from calm and half asleep humming along to furrowing his brows and checking to make sure he’s still on the playlist he’d chosen, and Will knows this one can’t be mistaken for a platonic love. ‘Wonderwall’ . Of course it could be interpreted by someone as platonic, depending on the context, but Will remembers a conversation the Party had a few weeks ago that means this isn’t platonic.
“Okay, my turn,” Max says, sitting back down with a coke for herself and one for Lucas. “If you were trying to serenade someone that you like, what song would you choose?”
“Do you mean, like, love-like?” El asks for confirmation.
“Yeah. Love-like,” Max says as she opens her soda.
“Hm…” El hums in thought.
“Isn’t She Lovely, Stevie Wonder,” Lucas says, and Max and Mike both burst out into laughter, everyone else chuckling a little too. “What?”
“Lucas, that song is about a baby.”
“Oh,” Lucas says, taking a sip of his soda. “Then Never Gonna Give You Up? I don’t know.”
“Okay, moving on from this doofus,” Max says. “Who wants to go next?”
“I just called to say I love you,” Dustin says next. “Someone has to do Stevie Wonder some justice.”
“I think I’d choose You’re Still the One by Shania Twain,” El says confidently after she’s finished her thought process.
“That’s a pretty good one,” Mike says, Max nodding along.
“She has a super pretty voice, even if her music isn’t typically my style.”
“What is your style, Mayfield?” Mike asks, like he’s trying to get on her nerves.
“Better than yours, Wheeler. I’d probably sing Is This Love by Whitesnake. Still not my typical genre, but I know the words. That’s what counts, right?”
“What about you, Will?” Mike asks, his eyes big.
Will already knows what song he’s going to say, but he doesn’t want to go before Mike. So instead…
“Me? What about you?”
“If you say yours, I’ll say mine after.”
Will gives Mike a challenging look before accepting the answer.
“Picture. Kid Rock.”
“I’d sing Wonderwall,” Mike says immediately after, not missing a bit.
“Who’d you sing it to?” Max asks, the two always being nosy.
“I, uh…that’s a secret that I’ll be keeping to myself for as long as I shall know any of you.”
“Good luck getting rid of us,” Lucas says with a grin, and everyone else smiles, too.
Will decides to keep the song on loop as he works through his thoughts, thinking about why Mike would put it on his playlist with Will’s name. Will knows the obvious answer, but he doesn’t want it to be real. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to deal with the “I’ve been in love with you forever and it’s kind of obvious and you’re in love with me too but never said anything” ordeal. But then again, getting Will to talk about his love life hasn’t always been the easiest thing ever.
When Will gets to work the next day, he slowly takes off his coat and places it on the coat rack in the break room before coming back out to the register. Normally he would lean over from the customer side as Mike was on the cashier side, and the two would talk and wait for some kid to ask one of them for help or someone needed to cash out. Today was different.
Instead of going to where he normally does, Will joins Mike behind the counter, setting Mike’s ipod on the counter in front of him. As he does so, he has one hand placed on the bit of the counter to his right, standing behind Mike and leaning forward to place the ipod on the counter, entering Mike’s personal space bubble. Their hands brush as Will pulls his back and Mike goes to pick up the ipod, both of them freezing just a bit before continuing their movements.
“It was in your hoodie, which is in the breakroom, by the way…in case you were wondering,” Will says, pulling back all the way and leaning against the counter opposite of Mike.
“Thanks. Did you get El her skateboard?”
“First thing,” Will says with a false smile, but Mike doesn’t register it, smiling back with a slight chuckle.
“How was listening to The Cure all night long and draining my battery?” Mike asks, a knowing grin spread across his face.
“I actually decided to change it up just a bit,” Will says. Here goes.
“Really? What did you listen to instead? Oasis?”
“No,” Will says, trying not to smile at the fact that Mike remembers all those little details. “I was listening to your ‘Will the Wise’ playlist.”
Will glances up at Mike for a second, trying to grasp the mood, but he’s lost when Mike just stares back at him with a blank, almost pale expression. Will looks down, picking at his fingers. Awkward. Will looks up again, clearing his throat and turning around, organizing random things that he sees. He continuously glances over at Mike, and Mike is still just staring, only now at his ipod as it lays in his hand.
“Um…” Mike coughs after a moment, he too needed to clear his throat a bit. “And uh…what did you– what did you think?”
“It was definitely…interesting. ‘Wonderwall’ is on there.”
“Yeah…” Mike says, putting his ipod in his pocket and scratching his head just a bit. “That song would be…on there.”
Without even looking, Will can feel as Mike leaves from behind the register. Not a moment later he’s standing in front of Will, their eyes meeting, endless amounts of tension between them growing. Will gulps, his lips falling apart just a bit afterwards. So I was right, Will thinks to himself, his mouth watering as he looks up at Mike. Normally Mike would make himself on the same eye level as Will, but he wasn’t doing that now. It made Will curious, wondering why now?
“What other songs on there did you hear?” Mike asks carefully
“All of them before that song,” Will says in response, swallowing again.
“So you didn’t hear that one. Okay…” Mike says to himself, a sigh of relief escaping, but Will still hears the words.
“Hear what?”
“Just, uhm…a song. One that you might get weirded out about if you find out what it is, so, I’m gonna just…go…organize…”
Mike begins to walk away, but Will grabs the sleeve of his shirt before he can get far enough, pulling him back over to the counter. This is so awkward . Will and Mike stare at each other once again, both of them not able to keep their eyes still, trying to find a way to squash the tension, but failing miserably.
“What song?” Will asks sternly, making it clear that it’s important to him that he knows.
“Picture,” Mike mumbles back.
“By Kid Rock?” Will inquires, not sure if he’s believing Mike or not.
“The one and only.”
A nervous laugh follows the words Mike says, and Will lets go of Mike’s sleeve, now deep in thought. So, both of their serenade songs were on there. That was definitely something. Will contemplates how he’s supposed to continue the conversation. Does he brush it off like it’s no big deal? Or does he confront Mike about it further? What happens if he’s wrong? What happens if he’s right ?
“Do you remember the conversation from a couple weeks ago?” Will asks, and if he’s right then Mike is going to know exactly what he’s talking about, but….
“Which one?” Mike asks, starting to walk away again, but since the store is empty Will doesn’t mind talking from across the way.
“About music. Our love-like serenade songs,” Will says, seeing if he can get Mike to come out and say it on his own.
“Yeah…”
“Do you remember the songs we said?”
Will can hear Mike sigh, but he can’t see him as he’s hiding in one of the aisles pretending to organize their already in-place comics. Even still, Will is able to catch glimpses of the top of Mike’s now shoulder-length black curls. It takes everything in Will not to start fawning as he stares from across the room, bits of daydreams from the past trying to sneak their way into his mind, but he pushes them back and grabs a pen to tap on the counter and keep him in the moment.
“Yeah. I remember,” Mike says, and then he’s at the front of an aisle looking at Will again.
“So…?”
“Surprise?” Mike cringes, giving up at the end of the word and sighing, running a hand through his hair and stepping up to the counter again. “I didn’t exactly want for you to find out this way, you know.”
“How did you want me to find out?”
“Romantically? I don’t know.”
“I think I would’ve liked that, too.”
“Really?” Mike asks, his eyebrows raising at Will’s words.
“But I do enjoy knowing that you have a playlist full of love songs on it that’s dedicated to me,” Will teases, and Mike laughs a little.
“Not just love songs. Friend songs too.”
“I know,” Will says, taking Mike’s hand and drawing circles in his palm, his own holding his chin.
“You look really pretty like that, you know,” Mike says, brushing a few hairs out of Will’s face.
The bowl cut Will once had is long gone, the last he’d seen of it being his sophomore year. Now, Will’s hair has grown wavier, curling just a bit around his ears, almost a shag style. Mike tucks a few hairs behind Will’s ear, smiling with a small laugh, one of endearment and admirement. Will shys away just a bit at Mike’s words and actions, almost like he’s closing in on himself.
“You know…” Will says, glancing up at Mike quickly before looking away again. This is way harder than it looks. “...I also have…a secret, I guess.”
“Hm?” Mike asks, staring at Will, making everything that much harder.
“I, uh…I have had…feelings…for you for,” Will thinks about it for a second, taking a deep breath and sighing as he continues, “ever, and I just…you make me feel so—”
“I know,” Mike says, the two of them chuckling together just a bit. “I know exactly what you’re talking about. You used to drive me mad, you know? The way that you’re always just so… you ”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. But you have had this hold on me for so long, Will, and…God, you’re just so…”
“So…?”
“You.”
“But what does that mean?” Will asks, trying to get something more out of Mike.
“I don’t know!” Mike exasperates as he becomes frustrated with himself. “You’re just so kind and pretty and funny and you always say and do the right things and everybody loves you, and I— I just.—”
“Ah. You’re jealous. Worried that someone is going to ask me out before you have the chance.”
“...has someone?”
“No,” Will says, a loud snort coming out with that.
“Hey, it’s a genuine question.”
“Mike, we live in smalltown America. The only other two gay people I’ve met are– I actually can’t tell you that.”
“Don’t worry, Will. I don’t even know if I’m…I mean, I know I’m not just into girls, because I’m kind of in love with you and everything, but…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Mike. But there is one more thing I want to ask you.”
“What’s that?”
“Did you just say that you’re in love with me?”
“Ugh,” Mike groans in embarrassment, burying his head in his arms as he leans on the counter.
The bell to the shop rings as a few kids come in, each of them going in a different direction to find what they’re looking for. Will says their mandatory welcome, poking Mike in the side as a way to ask if they can switch sides. Mike obliges, the two switching spots and Will smiling at Mike as he tries not to laugh. The kids come up to the register, Will tapping on the counter and giving Mike a wink before going off to find work elsewhere in the store. Where the hell do we go from here?
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hansolmates · 4 years
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the proposal (m)
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banner done by the ammmahhzzing @eerieedits​
summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. pairing; editor!Jungkook x assistant!reader (f) genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always w.c; 20.1k of endless banter and koo hiding his romantic side a/n; yeah, it’s almost summer. But i think we need a lil holiday magic in our lives! I rewatched the proposal this weekend and whipped this up. Why is koo so gosh darn easy to write? This is my longest fic since i wrote maze runner back in 2014!! i rec this extension to get fully immersed in 2pov! Enjoy and pls tell me if there’s any errors im too poopied to proofread it again drabbles; 01
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“When I hired you, you basically signed a contract that said you’d do anything for me.” 
“Yeah, Jeon. I did. That meant like, getting you coffee or working late hours—normal work stipulations,” you can feel the hair on your scalp growing thinner, “not commit fucking fraud!” 
Your boss looks moreso frustrated than you are, but you cease to care. Jeon Jungkook has been nothing but a thorn in your side since your employment at Big Hit Publishing two years ago. Being a budding author who wanted to graduate from online sites and freelancing, you accepted the job as the editor-in-chief’s assistant in the hopes of getting your first book published. 
However, your dreams of being an editor are quickly dissipating, especially when Jungkook corners you this afternoon and announces that he may have left America during the time his work visa was still processing. He may have to give over his editor-in-chief position because there’s no way he can get a work visa processed in time. As a result of this information, he may have told his supervisors that you seduced him on a late night one year ago, and you two fell in love and have been secretly engaged ever since. 
Because y’know, your citizenship to this country is an asset to the company. 
“We didn’t have to go to Norway to PR Emma Watson’s autobio,” you huff, fingers going pale from how hard you were gripping your iPad. Jungkook is an esteemed workaholic, and you have no idea where it stems from. You remember that trip to Oslo, Jungkook insisting that you and him both go to make sure everything goes smoothly.
“You weren’t complaining when we went to that restaurant with the open bar.” he runs a hand through his coiffed hair, making the pomade untack from its style. “You got so drunk that Emma held you while you cried about global warming.” 
Wholly unamused, you frown. “Jungkook, can you please take this seriously?”
“I’m taking this seriously, you’re not the one who’s about to be deported in two weeks!” Jungkook hisses, face dangerously close to yours. Not that anyone would know what he’s saying, but you can tell from his defenses that he genuinely is nervous. 
“You wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew your Visa!” 
“I wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew my Visa!” 
At least twenty pairs of eyes are watching your confrontation, probably making their own conclusions as to what you two were fighting about again. Curse this office for having full-walled windows, you often feel like an ant in a plastic farm. Your work relationship is an anomaly to the rest of the staff. Before you started working at Big Hit, Jungkook’s assistants did not last long. Within the first week of working, you understood why. 
Jungkook whirls around his desk, glaring at the glass doors as he puts himself between the staff and you. “If you don’t marry me,” he says lowly, close enough for his hot breath to fan your face, coupled with his fresh-scented cologne. It annoys you how good he smells. “You’ll also be replaced because they want to give the my position to fuckin’ Karen of all people,” you fight the twitch of your lips. The only thing you two mutually agreed upon is the hatred of his co-editor, Karen. “All of the late nights we’ve worked together, the gallons of coffees you consumed, putting up with my shit, your dreams of becoming an author,” his eyes flicker to the way the grip in your iPad trembles, “will go down the drain and turn to shit. Whether you like it or not, we’re in this together.” 
Pretending to be unfazed, you bat your lashes, “So are you saying, you need me?” 
“For fuck’s sake—”
“Ah-ah, Jungkook. I’m not going to ask you to get on one knee, but you should at least tell me how much you need me.” 
You assume with great confidence that the only reason you’re kept on Jungkook’s payroll is because you’re not afraid to stand up to Jungkook’s bullshit. He looks positively disgusted at the mere thought of paying you an iota of a compliment. You’d say on average, you get half a compliment a month from Jungkook. You say half because he’ll compliment you, then downplay it with whatever flaw he can fabricate to get under your skin. 
He loosens his lavender paisley tie, annoyed. “Fine. I need you. I need you because you’re the only one who knows me well enough to be my wife. You’re the only woman I’ve had full conversations with in two years and knows all my dietary restrictions, favorite books, foods, and hobbies. By process of elimination, you are my best candidate.” 
“Romantic,” you roll your eyes, “I guess I do,” you push him away with a finger to his chest, “but I want a raise. And after we finish Sorn and Mark’s project, I want you to read my novel.” 
“Done and done.” 
“Well Jeon, I guess you’ve wifed me up with your ways of seduction.” you muse sardonically, feeling more upset for yourself than anything. 
“Fantastic,” he sighs, finally throwing his tie across the desk and plopping in his armchair. “Cancel the call with Janet, call PR about Irene Kim’s interview on Ellen, and order me a medium rare steak from J.J. Bittings with a side of brussels.” 
“Right,” you mutter under your breath as you pull up your checklist, as if you didn’t just give away your life to the Devil incarnate. 
Jungkook’s back is already facing you, focusing on his computer displaying two new manuscripts. “Oh, and on your way to J’s don’t forget to pick up your ring at Saks.”
“Bitch, you’re asking me to pick up my fake wedding ring?” 
Unbothered, he shrugs. You see the planes of his shoulders stretch beneath the blazer, because he’s deemed this conversation long over and he has work to do. “Yeah, but it’s real diamonds.” 
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You’ve been seeing red for days. 
While the rock on your ring finger is indeed beautiful because Jungkook has impeccable taste, it drags you down and arouses the elephant in the room everytime you show up for work. 
You get enough stares on the daily, and you were just getting used to the looks of pity and sympathy for working under Jungkook, but now there are only snickers and playful winks as you trudge down the cubicles every morning. Everyday feels like the runway at a shitshow, and you are the headliner. 
Taehyung clapped you none-too-hard on the back when you showed up to work the next morning, congratulating you on the engagement. “Can’t believe you’re fuckin’ the big boss!” 
The rest of the staff poke their eyes out of their cubicles like Digletts, and you shush them, using your hand to make them sink down. 
Coffee is spilling down your shirt thanks to him, and you reach for tissues in his cubicle. “Can you not say it like that, please?” 
“Oh, come on. I heard from the supervisors Jungkook went on about how you seduced him late at night and took charge,” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows approvingly, and you fight the urge to not throw up your coffee in his face. “How do you keep it so professional? Or do you save all that pent-up energy for after hours?” 
“You disgust me,” you grimace, stepping out of his cubicle and immediately regret wasting your five-minute break conversing with the typist.
Striding back into Jungkook’s office, he doesn’t hesitate to rattle off the next items on today’s agenda. He barely looks at you when you stride in, too focused on whatever corrections he’s slashing in red ink. 
“Did you get Taemin’s second draft?” 
“No, and I told him that if he can’t get me the draft by tonight he won’t get a publishing deadline and the number of copies published will be decreased by a third.” 
“And Taehyung’s author agreed to our stipulations?” 
“Of course, she’d be dead not to.”  you mutter, “she’s a nineteen year old Influencer, what would she know?” 
“Exactly, that’s why we milk it out as long as we can.” Jungkook throws the first draft in a large, intimidating pile, mixing in with all the others like a needle in a haystack. “Which is why it’s important we snag dinner with her this weekend, we can really—”
“What, this weekend?” your sense of equilibrium cracks, and you walk forward to put his hands on his desk. “I took this coming week off for Christmas. I’ve planned this for months.” 
“I know.”
“I can’t just cancel my flight! I saved up for that!”
“And?” Jungkook brushes off your fury like a piece of lint, “I’m Korean. Christmas is a fake holiday for me.” 
“You can’t just tell me I can’t go home to my family, it’s the fucking holidays!” 
“Why not, I’ve done it before. Remember on Valentine’s day when I told you the only date you have is a date with Kwon Boa’s publicist? Or on Secretaries Day when I argued that you don’t feel appreciated by society anyway and therefore why bother taking one extra day off? Or during Easter when your family screamed in my office on speakerphone that you should quit—”
“Okay,” no need to be reminded of how much you’ve wasted your life for this man, “but this is different. I’ve already bought plane tickets and this holiday is special. It’s a whole family reunion in the Poconos and we’ve reserved over five houses to fit all of us! I can’t just ditch!” 
“But I need you!” he replied just as hotly, in a tone that reminded you so many times of how tethered you are by this man. Two years have gone by, and the only thing that kept those strings together is the constant ache in getting your first novel published. “With all the marriage stuff and stupid extentions we had to make on these writers there’s no way we can get everything done before winter ends!” 
“You’ve done it before, why can’t you just ask Taehyung to assist—”
“Trouble in paradise?” 
A chill travels up your spine, and you and Jungkook exchange panicked eye contact. A tiny, pretty blonde lady struts in the room like it's hers, plopping a fruit basket atop Jungkook’s manuscripts. 
“If by paradise you mean our relationship, then no.” Jungkook’s the first to recover, meeting you at your side and stretching an arm around your waist. “I’d say work-wise things are getting a little rough, but nothing we can’t handle. We’re a team, after all.” 
“I just wanted to stop by as I was in the neighborhood,” the woman says, making herself comfortable in a leather seat reserved for guests. “Congratulations again on your engagement.” 
You tack on a smile, squeezing Jungkook’s arm a little too hard, but it’s enough to make the lady in front of you smile back. “What brings you here, Taeyeon?” 
Kim Taeyeon is Jungkook’s immigration liaison, AKA the person responsible for making sure you’re not breaking the law. She’s a pretty thing, with eyes sharp but a smile that’s soft and deceiving. 
“It’s just a shame you two have to rush a civil wedding,” Taeyeon sighs, looking at the window overlooking the city. 
“Ah, it takes some of the planning stress off my back, really.” you force a laugh, tugging Jungkook to sit on the couch opposite her. “At least one thing is done. The thought of planning a whole wedding with over two-hundred people is so stressful.” 
You weren’t really going to have a white wedding with Jungkook (however you may have entertained the thought, which is reflected in your Google search history) but you had to keep up the ruse that you were. A civil wedding in two weeks, then a quickie divorce a year later. 
“I know! My wedding was a real mess let me tell you, straight out of a movie!” Taeyeon is certainly the type of person to make you feel at ease, so at ease that it’s simple for you to melt your front. “But besides the point, are you two doing anything special for the holidays?” 
“Ah, well I bought a flight to meet my family in the Poconos,” you start, trying not to succumb to your nervous habit of wringing your fingers. You grab Jungkook’s hand as a reprieve. 
“And you’re not going?” Taeyeon’s gaze snaps, yes snaps, to Jungkook. 
You try to step in, realizing your flaw. “We’ve just been so swamped with work, all the immigration stuff and with these book delays Jungkook suggested he stay behind—” 
“But we’ve decided to prioritize our personal life and enjoy Christmas with our family,” Jungkook swoops in, threading his fingers between yours. He flashes Taeyeon a smile, and from the way his face lights up and his nose crinkles, you could’ve mistaken it to be genuine. “I’ve never experienced a big family Christmas, y’know. I’ve missed snowboarding too, I used to do it a lot in highschool.” 
“Oh, that’s just so sweet!” Taeyeon cooes, clasping her hands together. “Do send some pictures when you come back!” 
“Of course,” Jungkook stands up and attempts to leave Taeyeon out. You follow in tow, She obliges easily, mentioning something about just wanting to check in and she also has work to do. 
“Also,” Taeyeon’s head flickers to the people sitting outside Jungkook’s office. “You should manage those workers out there,” she looks at you, sympathetic. “Apparently, they didn’t peg you as the type of person to sleep their way to the top. And that’s just what I heard from walking down the hall once!” she laughs, tinkling brighter than a windchime, but you just tighten the grip on Jungkook’s palm. “Such a childish assumption. Things can be much more complicated.” 
She tips a “happy holidays” off her shoulder, and you both are smiling like the loving couple you are. As soon as the elevator doors close and Taeyeon is really gone, Jungkook moves to let go of your hand, but you hold him in your grasp. 
“She’s onto us,” you snap, tugging him closer to you so your co-workers wouldn’t read your lips. 
“Don’t you think I know that?” he bites back. He looks offendingly at the fruit basket adorning his desk. 
“What if we get caught, Jungkook?” you start to spiral, feeling your deepest fears crawl to the forefront of your brain. You’ve done extensive Google research on commiting fraud, and if you do get caught, Jungkook will never be able to come back to this country and you’ll have a fine of up to $250,000. Your boss doesn’t pay you nearly enough to get by with that kind of debt. “We’ll ruin this company, and our lives, and any hope of being published or credible.” 
“Hey, relax,” Jungkook whispers in your ear, the tone oddly comforting. He pulls you into his arms, and you barely have a chance to recover when he squeezes you extra tight around your waist. Jungkook only ever hugs you when doing PR, and even then it’s an awkward half-hug. Hell, he never hugged you on your birthday. “This is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna book my flight to the Poconos, bring some manuscripts so we can work remotely, and no one will ever know.” 
You sigh into his arms, nodding tiredly. It feels nice to be hugged like this. His arms are strong and warm, and you feel small and protected. It’s been a while since you’ve felt like that. Maybe Jungkook did have a heart under all that muscle. 
“I’m putting up a good show, aren’t I?” he says, and you feel your heart drop just a little. Disappointed, but not surprised. 
From your view facing the cubicles, you see at least half the employees comically bugged with  heart eyes at you, enamored by your fake relationship. 
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“Do not stretch your long-ass legs on this plane, Jeon,” you nudge your smaller leg away from your section of leg room, “Jesus, we’re flying economy!” 
It scares you how little you fought against Jungkook joining you for the winter holiday. It is the logical decision after all, Taeyeon is on your trail about your sudden engagement and you both needed to keep up the ruse. That includes going on family vacations. Also, the fact that Jungkook works through Christmas because he doesn’t celebrate it does make you feel a little bad. You can’t remember the last time the man took a vacation. 
The man in question barely moves at your weak attempt, and stretches his leg even further across your seat. “Sorry, babe,” he says, fishing around his seat for the included blanket. 
“It’s fine, Kookie.” You reply sweetly, and decide to kick off your shoes to drape a leg over Jungkook’s thighs, “you’re like a portable footrest!” 
He looks absolutely insulted at your objectification, but smartly decides to choose his battles and lets you keep your position. Tucking himself in with a scratchy blanket he waves you off, “Whatever, just wake me up when we arrive.” 
“What, no.” you pull up your iPad, shoving the note entry in his face. “I know everything about you, and yet you know nothing about me. I made this easy on you and just wrote everything down. You just have to read it.” 
“Seriously? I’ve known you for over two years, I’m sure I know enough about you.” 
“Really, then how do I like my coffee?” 
“Uh… hot?” 
You give him a look and he knows. With a sigh he grabs the iPad from your hands. Within seconds he’s giving you another dirty look, as if he’s skimming a conspiracy novel. 
“You know all this random shit about me?” Jungkook asks, scrolling down as to what feels like your life story. 
“Yes, because unlike you, I listen when you talk.” 
“Fine. What’s my favorite type of weather?” 
“A warm and sunny day, which correlates to your favorite kind of date which is walking along the beach at sunset. Cliché much?” 
“Okay, rude. Who’s my favorite artist?” 
“You like a little bit of everything, but since seventh grade you’ve been pining for IU. In the office, you like to sing along to Lauv and Hozier.” 
“Favorite movie?” 
“The Marvel Series. But you really like 5 Centimeters Per Second, you like the romance.” 
“And how do you know my favorite anime movie is 5 Centimeters Per Second? I’m pretty sure I’ve never told you that.” 
“Jeon, when we were promoting Momo Hirai’s self-help book at Anime Expo you were gone for two and a half hours at 1:50 sharp.” your boss’ Adam’s apple bobs and he swallows thickly at your admonition. “And low and behold, you gave yourself thirty minutes’ time to line up early because when I checked the schedule Makoto Shinkai had a panel on ‘The Otaku’s Perspective on Romantic—”
“Alright alright, I get it.” Jungkook slumps in his seat, as comfy as it can get with your legs draped around him and a seat at the far end of the plane. You know he’s trying to hide a blush, and you feel proud for making him a little flustered. “You’re lucky I’m a fast reader.” 
The plane ride goes relatively fast, with Jungkook asking quick questions about your family and other random things. It’s like playing a game of 20 Questions, instead it’s the final boss battle with 200 questions and if he doesn’t get them all right, the penalty is deportation. 
When you land, you’re both stiff and glazed over. Once you exit the terminal, Jungkook ditches you for the bathroom and says he’ll meet you at the luggage pickup. You give yourself a few moments, gearing yourself up for the long week ahead of you. At the luggage pickup, you see a tall man watch the revolving conveyor belt with interest. Either that, or he’s zoning out. 
“Joonie!” you cry, nearly dropping your phone upon seeing your big brother. He’s dressed comfortably in a grey sweat ensemble, as if he rolled out of bed and came straight to the airport. 
A bright grin takes over his face, and he doesn’t hesitate to smush your body against his. Under his tall frame you sway, your toes barely swiping the ground. “You’re alive!” he cheers, pulling back and holding your shoulders to get a real look at you. “I can see you’ve gained a little weight, eyes are a little dark, but I’m glad the Devil let you go. I still can’t forgive him for making you skip out on Jin’s wedding.” 
You don’t appreciate the way that Namjoon picks and prods at your exhaustion, but you know he means well. While he does not know your boss by face and name, he had enough artilerary from the billions of phone calls to learn about the Devil and the havoc he’s wreaked upon your life.
When you don’t respond he gets the cue that you do not want to talk about work this week, and he smacks his lips together. “But nothing a little R&R can’t fix! The ski resort nearby has a really nice outdoor jacuzzi and we could set an appointment for facials if you’d like. Or we could do absolutely nothing and turn into baked potatoes and watch movies until our eyes burn up.” 
“Both would be great,” you smile softly, catching two familiar suitcases make their rounds on your flight’s conveyor belt. You grab your pink luggage with one hand, and Jungkook’s black chrome one with your other. 
“So, where’s the new beau?” Namjoon rocks back and forth on his heels, hoping to get a glimpse of the mystery boy you mentioned you’d be bringing as of two days ago. 
“He really had to go to the bathroom,” you squint your eyes to make out the newcomers exiting the dropoff area. “Oh, there he is. Kook!” 
Like a goddamn model, he struts in your field of vision like nobody’s business. Unlike you who stayed in your apartment all day before leaving, Jungkook decided to spend a few hours at Big Hit in the morning to tie up most of the loose ends before your trip. He’s talking to what you assume to be is a client, noting the way his brow furrows as he clutches his phone with a tight hold. He’s changed out of his tie and leather oxfords, but he’s dressed crisply in a dark button up and blazer ensemble, still wholly overdressed for a family reunion. 
Namjoon starts behind you, “He looks...” 
“Handsome?” you goad, elbowing him, “Charismatic? Undeniable presence?” 
“Hard.” 
You don’t know what to make of that adjective, and you subtly shrink further in your jacket as you mull over the implications of his word choice. 
Jungkook steps up to the two of you, ending his call. His eyes float between you and your brother, and he manages to put two and two together. “Hey man,” Jungkook gives a practiced smile, extending a hand. “I’m Jungkook, I’ve heard lots of things about you.” 
“Good things, I hope.” Namjoon chuckles, returning the handshake. “I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you, though. Can’t wait to get to know you this week.” 
“Looking forward to it,” Jungkook takes his luggage and Namjoon grabs yours, leading you two out to his minivan. While Namjoon is preoccupied with getting the car started, Jungkook looks at you as if he’s already regretting making the trip down. “This girl has two braincells to her name. I just got off the phone with Sorn’s publicist.” 
“What trouble can an influencer do?” you reply in disbelief. 
“Exactly, influencing is the trouble,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “she did some mukbang and now she’s in the hospital for food poisoning.” 
“Ah, don’t get too worked up,” you help him lug your suitcases in the trunk. You spot Namjoon subtly eyeing you two from the rear mirror. Pressing a thumb between his brows, you make work to melt away the 11-shaped stress lines on his forehead. “Let’s just send her a Lush gift basket and she’ll be fine.” 
You ignore the way Jungkook’s gaze lingers on you longer than needed, running over to your seat at shotgun. 
The inside of his car smells like bergamot and lemon, and the sweet, vulnerable side of you wants to cry over how much you’ve missed your brother’s scent. It’s been way too long. 
Once you’re all safely in the car and driving Namjoon says, “So, are you going to hide the engagement ring or give the family a collective heart attack?” 
You tense, hands automatically floating to the teardrop diamond weighing heavily on your ring finger. The story that you two contrived about your relationship isn’t too complicated, but complex enough that it seems convincing. Instead of being your boss, Jungkook is your Literary Agent who gives you referrals to new and upcoming authors. You working closely together and bonding over the stresses of the publishing world, have kept a secret relationship under wraps for over a year to avoid any unprofessionalism or favoritism. 
“I was thinking about that the whole ride, actually,” you twirl the metal back and forth, watching it gleam in the light. “Mom and dad know, but I don’t wanna lie to the rest of my family. They’ll freak out because it’s the first time they’re meeting Kook and we’re already engaged. It’s just a location thing, y’know. You guys don’t live in the city so we’ve never had a chance to really talk it out.” 
Namjoon snorts, “Or, because your boss never gives you a break.” 
If Jungkook finds any offense, he doesn’t show it. Putting what should be a comforting hand on your shoulder, he says from the back seat, “I already told you babe, do what makes you comfortable. But I don’t want to lie to your parents early on, you don’t wanna make the situation any more complicated.” 
In other words, you better tell them about our engagement because Taeyeon could be hiding in the bushes waiting to catch us. 
“Smart man,” Namjoon says shortly, but you can’t tell whether it’s a compliment or not. 
“Yeah,” you exhale, turning to smile stiffly at Jungkook, “no use hiding the inevitable, right?” 
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The next couple hours are overwhelming. There’s a party right when you walk in your winter villa, your parents throwing you a reunion party (not for your family, but for you specifically because you’ve been MIA since Big Hit) with the house filled to the brim with family members. Within seconds your favorite cousin checks out the rock on your finger and screams that you’re engaged. 
Everyone must be so high off the fact that you’ve made it to a family event that they’re elated you have a life outside of work. Jungkook is treated like a prince, charming the hell out of all your aunties and baby cousins. 
“Oh, pumpkin!” your auntie squeals, linking arms with you while you’re trying to eat your dinner, “I just hugged your fiancé, and he has abs! Lucky you!” 
“Auntie,” you hiss playfully, “you hugged him that tight?” 
“He’s part of the family, isn’t he?” 
“Right,” you force a smile, downing your glass of champagne. The bubbles burn your throat pleasantly. 
“Babe, can you come here for a second?” Jungkook manages to swim his way through the throng in the living room, holding out a hand for you, “your mom said that our room is ready, care to lead the way?” 
His smile, as pretty as you can care to admit, renders your aunt speechless, and she lets him whisk you away to a long hallway that leads to a set of bedrooms. Jungkook lets go of your hand as soon as you're alone, letting his palm run along the pictures that decorate your hallway. 
He stops at a picture of you and Namjoon as kids, faces tanned and lips cherry red from your twin popsicles melting on your hands. “Wow,” Jungkook pretends to be alarmed, “I didn’t know you used to be cute, what happened?” 
“Shut up,” you smack his hand away, walking ahead of him. 
“I thought you guys reserved a bunch of houses, why does the furniture look worn and there’s pictures of you everywhere?” 
“Our extended family has reserved houses, but this is actually my family’s vacation home. I used to go here every winter and summer break,” you reach a bedroom in the corner of the hall, smiling at your wooden name tag hanging on the front, “this is my old room.” 
It certainly doesn’t have that youthful charm it once had, but there are still bits of your childhood scattering the room. There’s ticket stubs and photobooth strips tacked to a corkboard near your desk. Books that you would reread cover to cover are organized proudly on your shelf, worn for wear. 
Jungkook groans in relief, plopping his body down on your freshly made bed. “Your family’s really clingy.” he sighs, throwing an arm over his eyes. 
You turn to give him a snappy answer, but it dies in your throat when you see what he’s laying on. The familiar family quilt sinks under Jungkook’s weight, mocking you. You shriek, throwing your arms over to lug his body to the other side of the bed. Bundling up the quilt in your arms, you glare at a very appalled Jungkook. 
“The hell is wrong with you, woman!” he cries, not loud enough to escape the room, but enough to have your body vibrate in annoyance. 
“Jeon, they put the fucking baby blanket in my room,” you mutter more to yourself than him, folding it under your arms. 
The blanket is comfy in your grasp and you’re sure it’s clean, but the fact that you weren’t actually married and in love made its appearance a whole lot worse. 
“So?” his eyes are wide in confusion, “my mom still has my baby blanket too, I’m not gonna shoot anyone because of it.” 
“It’s not my baby blanket,” you admonish, “it’s the baby maker blanket. A weird family tradition when someone gets engaged.”
“Which means?” 
“They’re expecting us to fuck and have children.” 
The thought of procreating and starting a family with you must’ve caused all the champagne to return to his throat, and he looks a little pale. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” he lies back down on your mattress, and you leave him be so you can chuck the blanket back in your parents’ room. 
You’re barely out the door when a young man is waiting out in the hallway for you, poised to knock. “Hey, baby girl.” they throw you an easy lopsided grin, opening their arms to you. 
In your haste, you slam your bedroom door a little too loudly. “Yoongi!” You let yourself sink into his waiting arms, reveling in the familiar embrace you missed so much. Yoongi is Namjoon’s best friend and work buddy, not to mention the man you’ve had a crush on since you were able to walk. While you can safely say at this moment there is nothing serious going on, a small part of you always wishes there could be. 
His voice husks in your ear, “Why are we hugging in between the baby blanket?” 
“Oh!” you brush past him, opening the door to your parents’ room and flinging the offending item as far into their room as possible. “Sorry, Jungkook and I were a little freaked out when we saw it. We’re definitely not thinking about children right now.” 
“Jungkook,” he hums, and your smile falters just a tad when you see the way Yoongi tips his head down in thought, “It was quite the news. Congrats though.” 
You want to say what you’re supposed to say, that yes, you should be happy. But the selfish part of you does not want this exchange between you and Yoongi to be happening. When you get your quickie divorce in a year, the small, hopeful part of you hopes you and Yoongi could be something. 
Before you have a chance to fabricate a response, strong hands encircle your waist, and you feel Jungkook’s chin digging into your shoulder. 
“Thanks, man,” Jungkook’s voice rumbles, “we really appreciate it.” 
Yoongi gives a nod, muttering something about catching up later before he walks back to the party. 
It’s then that Jungkook’s weight feels impossibly heavy on your shoulders. “You know, you’ve been doing a really shitty job of being my wife-to-be ever since we landed,” Jungkook whispers, feather soft lips dusting across the shell of your ear. It’s an act so intimate you can imagine your family passing down the hallway could be mistaking you two for speaking unthinkable acts. A toddler cousin spots you two and giggles, babbling something to your uncle about how you’re hugging. “You did so well when we were with Taeyeon and Big Hit.” 
“It’s not the same when I’m lying to my family,” you turn to face him, equally simmering. “These are people that actually love and care for me, unlike you.” 
“At least I care about what’s most important,” he grits back, “our jobs, our futures. Is that not enough for you to keep it in your pants?” 
“Excuse me? You don’t even know him!” 
“I don’t have to know him because I’m holding you right now and you’re practically sweating through your cardigan.” he grimaces, digging his chin further into your collarbone, literally trying to get under your skin. “Your face looks like a cherry tomato.” 
You turn your head to bite back, your noses touching. The staring contest seems to last for days. Unlike Jungkook who doesn't know how to register basic human emotion, you still have hopes for a life after this. Before you have a chance to answer, your favorite cousin enters the hallway, oblivious to your concerns. Jimin’s red all over, passing you two flutes of blush champagne. “Hurry up, we’re making speeches!” 
Champagne is overflowing like Niagara, and you and Jungkook are the reason for it as you’re thrusted into the living room. Your weird uncle is in the middle of a long-winded speech about his fishing business and how dreams are made from ‘bait and a dream’. You make eye contact with him, and he gestures wildly to you and Jungkook. 
The crowd proceeds to go wild, echoes of speech! Speech! Reverberating throughout your living room. You and Jungkook share uneasy smiles, unsure of where to go with this show. 
Deciding it’s your family by blood, you start first. “Honestly, when I moved to New York I wasn’t expecting to feel so lonely,” you clutch your flute with both hands, swirling your drink absentmindedly. You then turn to Jungkook, giving him a tender smile which he returns back just as fondly. “Until I met Jungkook. I’m really happy that I get to share this week with the people I love the most, so let's drink to family!” 
Jungkook lifts his glass, “Thank you for the warm welcome, I can’t wait to spend time with all of you. This is my first Christmas with a large, loving family. Cheers to that!” 
The room erupts in cheers, allowing themselves to clink glasses and chase down their respective drinks. Even the little ones crowding the kiddie table in the back are enjoying their apple juice while making silly faces at the new couple. 
Jungkook weaves his arm between yours, and you get the signal to do a couples’ drink. He eyes you with mischief, as if to say we did it. After you two take your drink, Jimin’s the first to drunkenly yell, “Ohmygod just kiss already!” 
“Kiss kiss kiss!” 
“This is going on my story so make it good!” 
“Kiss him before I do!” 
“Oh my god,” you groan, throwing your forehead on Jungkook’s chest. Your family really is something else. 
As if the chants can’t get any louder, it’s hard to focus on anything but Jungkook’s presence. Jungkook lifts your chin up, murmuring, “Let’s give the people what they want.” and he presses his lips to yours. 
It’s awkward at first. Why wouldn’t it be, you’re making out with your boss, in front of your family, pretending to be engaged. But Jungkook doesn’t let up, parting your lips slightly to deepen the kiss. As much as you want to make up how terrible and disgusting kissing Jungkook is, it really isn’t. His lips are soft and he tastes like the peach champagne, and his grip on your waist is strong and warm. 
He leaves you breathless when you pull away, a smirk on his lips for a brief moment before he turns shyly to your family who are probably foaming at the mouth now. 
Maybe it’s the champagne coursing through your veins, but why does it suddenly feel so hot in the middle of winter? 
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The first day back starts off wholly uneventful, with Jungkook working on some manuscripts and you preparing dinner with Jimin. Most of your family is on the resort hitting the slopes, so you’re quite thankful for the reprieve since the party was so overwhelming. The blonde is all smiles as he bumps the oven closed with his leg, letting your lasagna bake to perfection. 
“I’ve missed you so much,” Jimin rests his head on your shoulder, “it’s definitely not the same when we’re adults. Frankly, it sucks balls.” 
“Big balls,” you agree, gnawing on a leftover baguette from last night. 
“Speaking of big balls,” Jimin wiggles his brows as you attempt to move farther from him.
“Please don’t say it.” 
“C’mon! Just tell me if the sex is good!” 
“No!” you cry, flicking your crumbs at him. 
“I will open this oven,” his hands are already on the handle, “and your dish will undercook.” 
“Don’t you dare!” he opens the oven a tad, and you slam your hand down. “Fine! The sex is fantastic, happy?” 
“Ewh, no!” The storm door swings open, revealing Namjoon, Yoongi, and Lisa, Namjoon’s lady friend. “I didn’t need to hear that, thanks.” 
Your face looks absolutely pained as you watch the two older men walk in. They were the last people you’d ever want to share about your sex life too, even if it is fake. You can only bear to look properly at Lisa as they kick off their boots and shake the snow off their heads. Lisa pokes her tongue in her cheek, looking at you with a wild look in her eyes. “I’ve heard so much about your current drama. Can’t wait to hear the 411 from you, though.” 
Yoongi looks unfazed, then again you never really know what’s going on in his head. “You guys wanna go to a movie tonight?” Yoongi asks, grabbing a slice of the baguette and dipping it in a dish of olive oil. “I think the one that’s showing is based on a book your company published.”
“Is it ‘Rotten Love’?” 
“That’s the one.” 
Pushing yourself off the counter, you nod eagerly. “I’ll go tell Jungkook to get ready. We can eat dinner real quick and then go right after,” you grab a bottle of water from the fridge, “Joonie, set up the table please.” 
Jungkook doesn’t notice you walk in, and you can hear the faint sound of Muse blasting from his Airpods. He’s on your floor, doing pushups while reading a transcript under him. This time he’s using your iPad, every few seconds taking a thumb to scroll down. Sweating through his shirt, you can see the beads running along his silver reading glasses. It’s completely contradictory, your muscle bunny of a boss getting in his reps while psychoanalyzing a potential novel, but somehow it works with him. 
“Maniac,” you mutter, bending down to place the cool water bottle on his cheek. He stops abruptly, like you’ve pressed the pause button on his seemingly robotic arms. Seriously, you can’t fathom how he manages to do both. You swipe the iPad under his body in place of a white towel, which he accepts gratefully. This isn’t the first time you’ve had to snap him out of it, sometimes you’d catch him at the company gym nearing 10PM, reading on the treadmill. 
“What time is it?” he asks, fluting the water bottle down his throat. 
Ignoring the way his neck glistens in sweat, you say, “It’s almost seven. C’mon, we’re gonna eat dinner and watch a movie. You’ve cooped yourself up in this room all day, time to interact with the world.” 
“What movie?” 
“The book we published in 2018, ‘Rotten Love’? They made it into a movie,” and you can’t help the wry grin that takes over your face when you say your next words, “guess who directed it.” 
He sighs, rubbing the towel over his damp hair. The normally styled strands fall limply at his forehead. “I don’t remember, I shifted over that project to PR. Any director’s fine, but please please please don’t let it be—”
“Jung Hoseok!”
“Son of a bitch, we gotta go.” And it’s the first time in a while you see a genuine smile graze his features, one not laced with you and your marriage. It’s an old pastime for you both to get picky over Jung’s work. “I swear, he better not put his scenes all over the place like last time, I got whiplash.” 
After a quick dinner you all pile into Namjoon’s minivan, making your way to the theatre. The drive is fast, and before you know it you’re waiting in line to get inside. It seems that the PR between the film studio and Big Hit did a good job assisting, because there’s a sizable line despite being half an hour early. 
“So honey,” Lisa leans into you, squishing you further into Jungkook’s shoulder. “Did you like, help out with the publishing of this novel? To be honest I don’t even know what your job is,” Lisa admits with a shrug, “you’re not a glorified coffee girl, are you?” 
“No,” her mixed enthusiasm never fails to stump you, “Ah, but I really didn’t do much in the production of ‘Rotten Love’,” you reply easily, relaxing into Jungkook as he moves to drape an arm around your shoulder. “I just told my boss to sign some documents n’stuff. It’s really nothing—”
“Babe, are you kidding? You ran the whole freakin’ project!” and you’re in shock, because for the first time in the history of ever, Jeon Jungkook is paying you a real compliment. “It was her first assignment when she got hired as the big boss’ assistant. A lot of people in the office doubted her,” he squeezes your shoulder, “but not for one second did I doubt her, you could see how hard she worked to make it perfect. I heard the boss was really impressed, too.” 
You remember that period of time. Jungkook made you dive headfirst into the publishing for ‘Rotten Love’, letting you sink or swim in his decision for keeping you employed. After a full month of meetings, negotiations, and debating whether you should have caffeine IV’ed in your body to save time on eating, you got Jungkook’s evaluation. You remember the stoicism in Jungkook’s frame as he surmised your work, throwing you a flippant “it’s decent” before sending you off to do more work. 
Relief flooded your system after those two simple words, because that meant you had a chance and you could keep your job. But this? If what he’s saying is true, you’re on Cloud 9. 
“Awh, thanks Kook.” you squeeze his arm, letting your fingers trail down to lace your fingers with his. 
Lisa’s face is all scrunched, and she doesn’t hesitate to stretch over you to smush Jungkook’s cheek between her two fingers. Her blue nails dig into his soft skin. “I like him, honey. Keep him, he’s so cute.” 
She leaves you alone after that, skipping over to bother Namjoon about buying an extra bucket of popcorn. 
“At first I was nervous having you near my family for a week,” you say brightly, rubbing a thumb over his hand, “but I kinda like seeing you try so hard to not rip other people’s heads off.” 
He puffs out his cheeks in an attempt to soothe the stinging. “Could be worse, I could be engaged to Karen.” 
With that you laugh, loud enough to turn heads and have Jimin and Lisa send you adoring looks. Jungkook sends you a nervous smile, the one that he’d always send you during team meetings when he was unsure of how to respond to something. Instead of giving him a smart answer, you get on your tiptoes to pat his reddened cheek. “But she’s right, you are kinda cute when you wanna be.” 
Instead of replying, he squeezes your hand tighter to lead you inside. 
Everything is smooth sailing after that. You, Jimin and Yoongi are saving the seats while Jungkook, Lisa and Namjoon are getting the refreshments. Jimin is prattling on about a new job interview and you’re listening attentively, while Yoongi shoots off advice every time Jimin says he’s nervous. 
Yoongi looks past Jimin to give you that gummy smile that always made your chest ache. “Chim, remember when she applied to work at Jamba Juice?” 
“Oh my god,” Jimin giggles, clutching your arm. “When you had to do a trial run in front of the manager? You forgot to put the lid on the blender and you sprayed the staff with green juice?” 
“The stains took forever to get out,” you pouted. “And I didn’t appreciate the snaps you saved of me. I got nervous because you were recording me!” 
“Am I hearing some juicy details about your childhood?” Jungkook appears, passing a huge tub of buttery popcorn to Yoongi. 
“Emphasis on juice,” Yoongi says tartly, popping a handful of kernels in his mouth. 
“Yes, do you wanna see a picture of your fiancé covered in green juice? She wore a low-cut shirt that day so it got deep, man.” Jimin says, using his hands to gesture obscenely to his own chest. 
You’re mortified, and you push down Jimin’s phone and cover whatever receipts he has on you. “Jimin, I’d like to stay engaged, if you don’t mind?” 
Your not-so-favorite cousin cackles in response, telling Jungkook that they’ll talk later. 
“Here,” Jungkook cooly hands you a King-Sized KitKat. 
“Awh,” you marvel, immediately opening the wrapper, “you actually read my notes and found out what my favorite candy was?” 
He scoffs, dark bangs blowing up. “Who doesn’t like KitKats?” but you’re giving him the look, and he sighs, “C’mon babe, just gimmie a break.” 
“Ha-ha,” but you break off a piece anyway, lifting it to Jungkook’s lips. It’s then that the theatre starts to dim, and the telltale signs of the movie begin. “Ready to rip Jung Hoseok to shreds?” 
“Always.” 
Barely fifteen minutes pass and Jungkook is spreading his legs. You’re about to kick him before he leans in to whisper, “They made Renee too dull,” he sighs in disappointment, as if he sincerely had high hopes they’d bring the novel to justice. “I mean, I get it, in the novel she’s supposed to be a plain Jane. But she isn’t grey.” 
“Right?” you lean into Jungkook, throwing your legs over his thighs like you’re back at the airport. This isn’t out of intimacy, you think to yourself, you just need to be close enough to Jungkook so you don’t disturb the other patrons with your talking. “She’s either a bad actress or they messed up her character. I really got upset when I read this part, but it’s kinda bland on the screen.” 
As much as you love Jimin, you know he’s not going to get your over-criticality over the media. Yoongi and Namjoon are on the other end of the row, but they wouldn’t be too pleased having you gab over the movie because you’re too much of an aficionado. Jungkook is the only one who can tête-à-tête, or in this case, Kit-a-Kat with you. 
You sigh into his shoulder, inhaling his clean scent. “Let’s pray Jung didn’t completely butcher the chapter where Kenzo reflects on his penniless journey.” 
“I’ll leave the theatre right then and there if that happens, care to join me?” 
“Already out the door, bossman.” 
Jungkook looks away from the screen briefly, reaching forward to take an obnoxiously big bite of the KitKat in your hand. You stifle a giggle, and before you can soak up his cheeky grin he’s already looking back at the movie. 
You wonder what Jungkook is like outside of work, if he has that side to him. A little part of you wishes that this playfulness he’s exuding is real. Not to your fake marriage, but a playfulness he can execute to a person that he really likes. Two days out of the office and you’re starting to see that Jungkook has the capabilities to enjoy life, however simple it may be. 
The movie is finished in a blur, and you and Jungkook are still bickering over the intricacies of the film compared to the novel. The night air is cold and burns your cheeks, reminding you exactly how late you’ve been out.
“Well, I thought the romance was so boring!” Lisa blurted, wanting an in. Her lime green ski jacket glares in your vision, and you move away from her immediately. “No one cheated on each other, there was no drama, or evil best friend!” 
“Whoa there,” and you see the little fire in Jungkook’s eyes, one you’ve learned early on to stay away from when you spent hours in his office debating over manuscripts and plotlines. He stares down at Lisa, really stares down. “You think every romance needs some sort of internalized conflict for it to be good? Why can’t they just grow and learn from the external conflict together? It’s literally useless for them to break up over and over just—”
And that’s your cue to walk ahead of them, because while you did agree with Jungkook, you’ve heard this debate one too many times. Ever the closet-romantic at heart. You hope Lisa doesn’t lose her patience and punch him out. 
“Hey,” you feel a hand pat your hair, and you look up at Yoongi. He looks absolutely fluffy in his long puffy jacket, and he matches your steps with his. “Do I look ugly tonight, or something? I feel like we barely exchanged two sentences with each other.” 
“What, never!” you chastise, “you always look good, Yoongi. And we have the whole week to catch up, remember?”
“Really, then why don’t we go out in two days to pick out a tree for your house? Joon and I are planning on going.” 
“I would love to go pick a tree!” you exclaim, “the last time we got a tree together was when your brother had to lift.” 
“Great,” and he pats your head again, but this time his hand lingers to finger the ringlets of your hair. “It’ll be just like old times, baby girl. I’ll pick you up at 9.” 
Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jungkook’s argument ended minutes ago and he’s mulling over a new type of internal conflict. 
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“Owie, ow, ow—fuck you! Ow!” 
“Well if you just hold still,” Jungkook grimaces, taking his turns with both hands to simultaneously wipe the injury with a cloth and then pressing the affected area with an ice bag. 
“Buh ih hurths!” your voice is muffled by the cloth, stained red with freshly bloomed blood. 
The ski lodge started off great. You enjoyed a fabulous beligan waffle breakfast courtesy of Jimin’s parents, and then made the trek to the slopes. You’ve been here dozens of times, so you didn’t feel an inclination to gravitate to any of the fancy schmancy sports. You were fine playing shuffleboard inside, but your inner youth complained that it’s the holidays and you should be getting out more.
Jimin and Jungkook (who claimed he hasn't snowboarded since he was 16 yet he’s doing tricks like a goddamn Olympian) were shredding on the slopes while Namjoon and Lisa were skiing on a smaller hill. You and Yoongi watched safely from the lift, riding it like a kiddie attraction. You must’ve taken the lift at least ten times, complaining about how you’re both too lazy to function and you could really use a hot chocolate and a fireplace. 
After the fifteenth time on the lift, legs numb, you stumble over with heavy boots to where Lisa and Namjoon were waiting for Jimin and Jungkook. They wanted to walk around more and see if they could try a more difficult slope. 
While you were waiting, you had to admit that Jungkook did kind of cool all decked out in his gear. A competitive, playful smile was easily reflected in his gaze despite his helmet and goggles. 
That slight admiration is knocked right off your feet when Jungkook speeds by way too close for comfort and you’re in his path. Jimin had already slowed next to your friends and family, looking at you in anticipated horror.
It’s far too late, and despite the fact that Jungkook manages to pull your body to his while you wipe out, your face crashes into his helmet and you taste metal. 
Mildly disoriented from the impact, Jungkook’s muffled string of curses nurse you back to a decent consciousness as he tries to carry you to the lodge.
“Holy shit, I got that on camera!” Jimin cries, gesturing to the Go-Pro nestled in his helmet. 
So now you’re in pain and it’s all Jungkook’s fault. Your bottom lip is split, and the burn on your face won’t go away. 
You watch as Jungkook dotes on you, his bangs pushed up everywhere due to his grey goggles haphazardly being propped upon his forehead. His pink tongue sticks out as he concentrates on not getting blood on your sweater. It’s just you and him that are stuck around in the lodge after you got pummeled, standing by the fire while everyone else continues on with the fun. 
“Why were you over there anyway, in the middle of the slope?” he scolds. 
“It was the slow down zone, Jeon. You were the only one not slowing down, you speed demon.” 
“Sorry,” he says gruffly, pressing a little too hard with the ice and you wince. He lets up and presses the cloth to your lips to soak up the moisture.
“Did you say something?” 
“I said, I’m sorry.” 
You sigh dramatically, “I wish I had a camera to save that shitty excuse of an apology.” 
“Speaking of cameras,” he shucks his phone out of his pocket, handing it to you. “Jimin uploaded the video.” 
That man, you don’t know where he has the means to quickly upload and edit things, but if it’s for the ‘Gram, it’s worth it to Jimin. You open Instagram and immediately click on @chimmyboi’s story, immediately wincing as the first few seconds reveal the brunt of the impact. He should really put a disclaimer before uploading content. 
The tumble between you and Jungkook doesn’t look so bad, but it’s when you get up does it look gnarly. Your chin is dribbling in red liquid, and Jungkook’s throwing off his helmet and goggles in a panic. 
He makes a half-assed snowball where you’re lying on the ground, pressing it against your mouth. With his other hand he pulls you into a sitting position, not caring that you’re staining his clothes as he hauls you on his body. 
“Ohmygod,” you splutter, trying not to move your lips, “I look like I got decked with a hockey puck.” 
“It wasn’t that bad, don’t be a baby.” Jungkook sees the piecing glare you give him, and he sighs. “Okay, it looked pretty bad. I was a little worried back there, but now the bleeding pretty much stopped and holy shit—stop smiling! You’re making it open up further!” 
“You were worried?” 
“Shut up.” 
The ice bag is watery and not doing much anymore, but Jungkook still insists to cool your face down. You lift a hand to his cold ones, attempting to take the bag and cloth from his grasp. 
“You should go board with Jimin and the rest of them. I can take care of this.” 
“It’s fine,” he reasons, reaching for the ice bag but you hold on tighter. 
“C’mon, I know the only thing you were looking forward to this entire trip was going snowboarding. I’m a big girl, I can be alone for an hour or two.” 
Jungkook locks his jaw, gnawing at his cheek as he mulls on his decision. “Wouldn’t I look like a bad partner if I leave you?”
“Nah, this has happened before. Almost always someone gets injured on the trip. Last time something like this happened I was eight and I got five stitches on my leg. This is nothing. You’re fine.” 
“But still.” 
“Fine, you wanna make it up to me?” 
You scan the room for any ideas, and it settles on a trio of girls huddled by the register of the built-in café. They’re pretty snow bunnies, decked out in sweater dresses and fur lined boots. They remind you a little of The Powerpuff Girls, all in pastels and attached to the hip. Their gaze has taken hostage in Jungkook’s frame, blatantly ignoring the fact that majority of his attention is directed towards you. You wonder why you haven’t noticed them sooner, because now the staring is getting borderline discomforting. 
Slipping off his goggles with your free hand, you gesture subtly to the girls. “They think you’re hot. Go flirt with them a little and get me a free drink, I’m sure they’ll pay for you.” 
He doesn’t understand the correlation, “Why would I do that?” 
You shrug, separating the strands of hair that stick to his forehead. “Lisa and Namjoon do it all the time when they go clubbing. They compete and pretend they’re single for like two hours, and then they keep a tally of how many people offer to buy them a drink.” 
“That is completely different, but I’m open to trying it when we get back to the city.” he acknowledged briefly, getting up from his crouching position. “I got a better idea.” 
Puzzled, you watch him saunter over to the register. Like bees to the honey, the girls follow Jungkook with their eyes, watching him exaggeratedly mull over the menu. 
He spares the slightest of head inclinations to the drooling trio, “Hello ladies.” The smile is not flirtatious, but kind. 
You suppress a giggle, burying your chin in your scarf as you watch the whole interaction. You don’t even know why you asked Jungkook if he would flirt with those girls, as he kept most of his dates private over the years. You picture a college-aged Jungkook getting his daily breakfast on his way to class, ignoring the way his presence attracts heads. 
The barista hands Jungkook a tray filled with a plastic cup of ice, and a cup filled with something hot, and a chocolate croissant. He grabs a straw from a tray, stabbing it in the hot drink’s lid. 
“Excuse me,” one of the girls coquettishly puts her hands behind her back, puffing her chest out as she leans over Jungkook’s order. “The regular croissants actually taste better in my opinion.” 
“Well my wife’s had a hard day, so I think she deserves something sweet.” 
He doesn’t even turn around as he makes a beeline to where you’re seated on a loveseat, carefully placing the tray on the coffee table. 
“Your better idea was making them jealous?” you ask, unsure of his intentions. 
He shrugs, “College-Jungkook always wanted to show off his girlfriend like that, so indulge me for a second, alright?”
Rolling your eyes you reply, “My life is about indulging you. Don’t forget the trips I’ve made to the grocery store when your personal fridge was out of banana—”
“I thought I said we don’t speak of those hard times,” he cuts you off, “ever.”  
You stop him from filling up your ice bag with the ice he brought. “C’mon Jeon, you’re burning daylight out there. I got this. You’ve stalled enough, go have fun in the snow with Jimin, you adrenaline junkie.” 
He scrunches his nose, but relents when you throw him his jacket and goggles. Before he pulls on his gloves, he cups your face with both hands to pull you in a kiss. His hands are cold from the ice, gluing you in place in fear of him kissing you too hard. But it’s barely that, a brushing of lips so tender as he takes extra care with your open lip. 
“Is this also a self-indulgent request?” you pucker, “who knew there was a hormonal teenager under that editor-in-chief’s body.” 
His eyes flicker to the audience in the back, and you don’t need to look behind you to note that they’re glaring daggers in your head. It’s like you’re straight out of a rom-com. 
“You’re leaving me to the bunnies,” you say teasingly. 
“Then hurry up and get better so you can join us,” he taunts, “or else you can’t help me bury Jimin in the snow.” 
It’s a tempting offer that makes you down your drink so you can enjoy the rest of your day. 
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Light seeps through your windows, rays kissing your eyelashes and willing them to open. You groan, hand splaying out to wake up Jungkook. When you find his space empty and cool, you sit up and search for your fake-fiancé. 
He’s on the floor, smack in the middle of his morning workout. Your iPad is under his body, and somehow he’s managed to find a setting where the document scrolls for him automatically. He’s not wearing his Airpods, so you rasp, “Jeon, you’re crazy. I get the morning workout, but you don’t have to look over any more transcripts. I think you’ve read enough for this week.” 
“It helps me ignore the burn,” he says shortly, and you see the ripples of his back flex with every push-up. “And I wouldn’t have to do so much reading if my assistant would just do her job.” 
“I already told you, I’m not working during my vacation.” you throw off the sheets, padding to your closet. “I’m going to pick the tree today. You should go to the mall with my mom and Jimin to pick out some new ornaments.” 
“What?” he gets up, and you ignore the perfect view of tight muscles decorating his abs. Exactly how long was he awake for to have sweat clinging to his shirt? You’re going to short-circuit and it’s barely 8:30. “But I wanna go help pick out the tree.” 
“You don’t have to do that, Joon and Yoongi got it.” 
“Yoongi, really? You think he can carry a tree?” 
“This isn’t a pissing contest, Jeon.” you settle on a burgundy Patagonia jacket and grey leggings. “Besides, Yoongi and I are just friends.”
“You sure about that, baby girl?” 
You whip around to poke at his chest, and you ignore how smug he looks. “Do not test me, Jeon. Like you said, I’m with you every step of the way in this marriage. I’m not going to jeopardize that over some childhood crush.” 
“Wow, your life is really turning into a Wattpad entry,” he admonishes, “fake-fiancé still pining over his older brother’s best friend, really high-qual stuff.” 
“I’m serious.” you grit, “I took a week off so I can get away from you and that was ruined, so I would like a little bit of space today.” 
And that gets Jungkook to back away. His face deflates a little, and you feel a little guilty for making him upset, but you stab that thought down and convince yourself that he deserves it. It’s not like he cares about you, he just wants to show off to the boys.
“Fine,” he turns around to put on a fresh shirt, and you almost notice the pout marrying his face. “You could’ve just told me you wanted space. I’m getting kind of tired of you too, you know.” 
He flops on the bed and you huff in reply, quickly throwing on your attire inside your closet while he watches a YouTube video. You check your phone, and at 8:59 a knock is at your door. Jungkook doesn’t bother to get up to answer, and you open the door to see a sleepy Yoongi with a paper cup in his hand. 
“An English breakfast with two sugars and a dash of milk, baby girl.” 
You mask your wince at the pet name. It hadn’t bothered you when you were young, but its starting to feel coddling now that Jungkook is making you hyper-aware of the attention. “Perfect,” you faux-beam, the hot beverage warm your fingers. 
“I’ll just warm up the car and—”
“Babeeeeee,”  the deepest, sexiest voice echoes from your bed and out in the hallway. He sounds absolutely tempting, and needy. You freeze at the way your boss can so easily pretend he’s exhausted and wanting you, “come back to bedddddd. I’m not done with you yet.” 
Yoongi’s ears are red, “Aaand, I’ll let you finish whatever business you have.” 
The older man bolts out of there, and you snap your head back to look at an innocent Jungkook. He tilts his head at your bout of anger. 
“You know, I have half a mind to fling this tea down your shirt.” 
“What?” he looks at you like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “He can’t be the only one who can call you baby.” 
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Honestly, you didn’t mean to lash out on Jungkook like that. You did need to put up a face as you were each other's significant others, but it doesn’t mean you have to be together all the time. To top it all off you’ve been feeling weird as of late, and you can only attribute these terrible feelings to a certain brunet who’s been sleeping in your bed. 
But you pin these feelings for another time, because you need to enjoy what little quality time you have with your brother. 
“Hey, whaddya think of this one?” It's just you and Namjoon picking the tree, and Yoongi’s sitting in the cabin keeping warm. He said to call him once you’ve decided, since it is your house. 
“Hm, it’s fine.” you shrug, inhaling the pine. “Maybe a little too tall.” 
Namjoon nods, and you follow him to the next row of greenery. He’s been pensive this whole time, and you have a feeling he’s hiding something. Surrounded by pine and the fresh winter air he says, “Hey, I just wanna say sorry.” 
“Why, did you like that tree over there? I don’t mind it, we can go back!” 
“What, no? I’m sorry for being weird around Jungkook.” 
“Huh?” sure, you noticed the weird language and terseness he gave Jungkook initially, but you chalked it out as big brother issues. 
You two continue to walk around the forest aimlessly, not really tree hunting. 
“I was just upset that the engagement was so sudden,” Namjoon starts, and you feel the guilt start to set camp in your stomach. “And I don’t know, at first he just didn’t seem like your type? I always thought you wanted to date someone gentle, someone you could hold and depend on. He looked so serious, and maybe a little immature.”
“He is a little immature,” you agree softly, digging your boots in the snow, “but I don’t love him any less because of it. We’re growing together.” Shit, why was that so easy for you to say? 
“Figured,” and Namjoon stops to place a hand on your shoulder, “I see the way he looks at you, and you can’t fake love like that.” 
Namjoon’s admonition is so convincing that you almost convince yourself that it is something. 
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Something is bothering Jungkook, and he doesn’t know why. 
It’s not the billions of charges he made on his credit card for new ornaments, because it simultaneously inflated his ego and impressed your mom. 
It’s not the way Jimin hangs onto his every word and doesn’t let up, because it is refreshing to have your cousin find a genuine interest in him. 
Jungkook, Jimin and your mom have been taking laps around the mall for the past hour. They’ve floated around here and there, picking out whatever catches their eye for the tree. 
Jimin’s in the middle of explaining the Jamba Juice story when a glimmering window display catches his eye. 
“Hun, have you not bought her a present yet?” your mom says over his shoulder. 
“No,” he exhales, embarrassed that he just admitted he didn’t think of getting you anything in front of your mom. “She doesn’t ask for anything, really.” Besides her book published, a raise, and a potential promotion as editor, but they didn’t need to know that much. 
“Good thing you’re with the right people!” Jimin cheers, ushering him into the jewelry store. 
Funny enough, he knows exactly what to get you. Once he points it out, Jimin and your mom “ooh” and “aah” respectively, agreeing that what he chose was perfect. If you had asked Jungkook a week ago what kind of jewlery you like, he’d give you a dumb look and say “something shiny.” But that’s what’s bothering him. He just walked right into the store, saw what was right, and everything just clicked. 
Jungkook pins that thought for later, because once their shopping is done they’re back at your villa, arranging the ornaments and detangling the lights that have been holed up in the closet for eleven months. 
Jimin and he are sitting on the living room floor, stabbing thread through popcorn. He really only saw this craft in the movies, and the small part of him is amazed that you and your family go through the hard work to make your holidays so warm. 
Your mom appears from her bedroom, clutching something in her hand. She sits in front of Jungkook, a huge smile on her face. 
“Before you say anything,” and it strikes him how similar you are to your mother. There’s that tone he always receives before he gets new news, or the way you’re eager to share something that will make him happy. “I don’t want you to think this is a luxurious gift or anything. But I realized that you don’t have a wedding band so I went through my old cases and found this.” 
She opens her palm slowly, revealing a simple black band. 
Jungkook’s lips part to form words, but his vocal cords betray him. At first glance, this ring could’ve been mistaken for one of Jimin’s plentiful rings adorning his fingers. Upon closer inspection however, Jungkook notes that this band is thinner and more worn. The metal looks strong and old, the slight scratches and faded color revealing that it was a well-loved piece of jewelry. 
Your mom is offering Jungkook a wedding band. 
“If you don’t like it, that’s okay!” your mom says quickly, nerves radiating because of Jungkook’s silence. “It was my grandfather’s. Don’t feel as if you have to accept it. It’s not a wedding band persay, but I think it matches and it looks about your size and we didn’t get you a Christmas gift so—”
“It’s perfect.” Jungkook tells her firmly, sending him a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, I guess we kind of rushed the engagement so I didn’t think of getting a band of my own.” 
Your mother is grateful, dropping the ring in Jungkook’s awaiting palm. “I think my daughter should be the one who puts it on you, don’t you think?” 
“Right,” he echoes, and he just stares at the ring in his hand, feeling weird in his chest. He can’t remember the last time someone put this much thought in getting him something this significant. He can’t accept this ring, but he can’t refuse it either. “I could never find something with this much value from a little shop in New York, so thank you.” 
“Oh, and while we’re on the topic of New York,” Jimin puts down his completed popcorn wreath, “y/n said she already put in her off days for Easter, so you should too. It’ll be at my place this year, and I live by an indoor skydiving zone. She mentioned you’re an adrenaline junkie.” 
“She also mentioned that your birthday’s in September.” your mom pops in, “We were thinking we could take Friday off and stop by for the weekend. I’ve always wanted to see Hamilton!” 
Jungkook knows they’re trying to cheer him up. They’re trying to make him feel part of the family, feel wanted. But he can’t remember the last time he’s felt wanted unless it’s for a book deal or a business exchange. It’s been so long since he’s felt this warm, and he didn’t realize how much he yearned for it until he proposed to you.
“Hey man,” Jimin puts an arm around his trembling shoulders, “are you alright?” 
“Fine,” he’s crying, and doing a shit job at hiding the tears. “It’s alright, I just,” he can’t even find the strength to get up and walk away from this. Is it pathetic that he’s breaking down in the comfort of your cousin and mom, starved for affection? “I just, I miss my family. It’s just the four of us, but they’re all the way in Korea and it’s been awhile since I’ve really celebrated anything with them. They visit sometimes but it’s not the same, y’know? And work is so stressful but I’m not in a position to say that. And your family is just so, so nice and it makes me miss them even more. You’re all so lucky to support each other like this.” 
Jimin and your mom sandwich him like an Oreo. It’s almost funny, how two smaller humans are comforting this big human and not the other way around. “Poor baby, it’s your family too.” 
Pathetic. It’s pathetic how much he wishes to have a family like yours, but he can’t have that. 
“Can we please not tell y/n about this?” Jungkook wishes, leaning his head on your mom’s. “She’s going through a lot right now with work and stuff, I’d rather just talk to her about this after the holidays, if that’s okay.” 
“It’s quite alright, sweetheart,” your mom runs a hand through his hair, and his eyes automatically flutter closed, “just remember, your feelings matter too, okay?” 
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You and Jungkook slip into bed at the same time, murmuring half-hearted “how was your days” and brief descriptions of your outings. It’s a little awkward considering the morning’s events, but not unbearable. 
“The tree smells really nice,” Jungkook tries, looking up from his phone. 
“Yeah, makes the whole room smell like Christmas.” 
“Yeah.”
“Did you have a good time shopping, find anything good?” 
“Yeah.”
“That’s nice.” 
[11:29] Jimin: hey, you know my room’s right next to yours right? 
[11:29] Jimin: we share a goddamn wall and im NOT hearing shit
[11:29] Jimin: are you putting that baby blanket to good use ;)
[11:30] You: YOU”REE DISGUSTING are we even family!!!!  Can i disown a first cousin?? 
[11:30] Jimin: i’m just sayin.. U said it was fantastic
You throw your phone away, letting it slide off to the mattress and onto the baby blanket. Yes, the baby blanket is unfortunately here to stay. Over the course of three days, the quilt is like a ball in a tennis match between you and your mother. You’ve given up and just kept it on the floor. 
“I have a question,” you say aloud, motioning to your bed partner. 
“Shoot.” 
“Was it true when you said I was the only girl you knew well enough to be your wife?”
“Of course, that’s why we’re here.” 
“I’m just wondering, because I really thought you could pick any girl in the office to be yours.” you stuff your hands under the covers, playing with your ring. “I mean, you’re kinda-sorta handsome. You could’ve picked someone just as pretty and they would have studied your whole life story for you.” 
Jungkook's phone falls in his lap, and he looks at you like you’ve lost a couple brain cells. “Normally, I would eat up the fact that you admitted I was attractive. But do you realize you’re just as beautiful, if not more?” 
What? 
“I know it’s unprofessional, but how professional can we get when we’re married, but you’re the whole package, y/n.” and he says it with such fervor, you can’t formulate a response. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. No one else can take my shit and throw it right back in my face, or debate with me for hours on end about a novel’s direction. Only you can do that.” 
“I’m sorry,” you shake your head, “thanks, you’re right. I’m just clouded, and stressed. And Jimin’s being an ass and it’s really bothering me.” 
His chocolate eyes flicker in the darkness of your bedroom, making note of your phone on the floor. “What’d he say?” 
“It’s stupid, he said that he thinks it’s weird he hasn’t heard us bang all week,” you force a laugh, “it’s my fault though, he wouldn’t get off my back so I gave up and told him the sex was fantastic.” 
“Are you worried he’s unconvinced?” 
“A little, maybe? I don’t know.” you’re wrinkling your bedsheets now, turning the cotton into putty as your sweaty palms wring at the edge. 
“I don’t mind giving him a show.” Jungkook blurts, and you instinctively pull the covers closer to your chest, even though you’re fully clothed. 
“What, like fake moan into the wall?” 
“There are things you can do over the clothes,” he says matter-of-factly, pulling the sheet of his bedside down slightly. “And you just said you’re stressed. I’d be a bad fiancé to not let you relieve some of that tension.” 
Jungkook opens his arms and gestures for you to get on his lap. Your body is hot all over, and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re horrified or aroused. Maybe a little of both. 
“Are you kidding—you’re my boss!” 
“And we’re consenting adults!” he narrows his eyes at you, “don’t say you’ve never thought about it before.”
And the sick, twisted part of you has, a lot. There’s something about a man in a tailored suit and owning up to its power that’s really attractive. Not to mention all those times they’d be traveling for work, stumbling for a quick McDonald's bite at 12AM and he’d be dressed casually in tight black jeans and combat boots. The energy really kept you on your toes. 
“Wow, I really hate late-night talks. All the secrets come out, don’t they?” 
“If it makes you feel better, your ass looks great in pencil skirts,” you turn to him with flared eyes, “what? I’m just trying to let you know I mayhaps find you attractive.” 
“Mayhaps you should stop talking before I regret this.” 
His eyebrows lift and disappear from his bangs, the hair freshly dried and fluffy from his late night shower. He then pats his lap with a little blasé as if to say “hop on”, and you ignore the way how good the seat looks, his boxer briefs doing nothing to hide his unmentionables. 
Trying to fight alongside your last drop of dignity, you take your time. 
“C’mon y/n, don’t make it weird.” 
“It’s been weird, Jeon! Jimin’s next door!” you hiss, backing away slightly, “Give me some time, I can’t just hump my boss!” 
“You’re not humping your boss.” Jungkook has the audacity to grin, the expression looking absolutely sinful in the moonlight. “Think of it as your lover wanting to make you feel good.” 
The bridge between love and hatred is a fine, fine line stemmed by passion. 
Careful, you lift your blankets up and slip out of them, moving to sit up. It’s ridiculous, tiptoeing around your bed to avoid any sudden creaks in the aged wood of your mahogany headboard. 
“We’re out to prove to your family we fuck on the reg,” Jungkook snips, “you can make noise.” 
Within seconds, he’s hauling you on his lap. You squeak in surprise, feeling the thin material of his boxers seep through your thin silk shorts. You wriggle around, monitoring Jungkook’s expression. He does not allude too much, but you take note of the way Jungkook secures you with his hands between the swells of your thighs. 
“I’m not a rollercoaster, stop adjusting like you’re gonna buckle up.” 
Jungkook’s dry humor lightens the mood considerably, and you can’t help but smile timidly at his attempt to make you feel at ease. He lets you take your time, and you never imagined someone so demanding in the office can be so… kind in bed. 
You dip forward to kiss his lips once, twice. He looks needy, but lets you set the pace. You appreciate that. You’re salivating at his willingness to make you feel good, and you whimper as he nibbles on a sensitive spot on your neck. 
You need more. Sensing your urgency when you jerk his chin up, he muffles your sounds with a harsh kiss, taking care to moan deeply into your mouth. The heat is luxurious on this winter night, burgundy kisses exchanged between the sheets like secrets. His tongue slips between your teeth, tasting every inch of you and exploring you like the deepest texts. 
He pulls away slightly, and you’re drowning in his gaze. “Am I still just kinda-sorta handsome now?” he nips at your neck, sucking on a spot between your jaw. 
“N-no,” and you pull him up by the chin, taking in his messy hair and glazed eyes, “you’re fucking sexy,” and you tug your mouth to his once more. 
You don’t even realize that you’re rolling your hips until Jungkook breaks the kiss in favor of grabbing your hips, making sure your core is nestled perfectly between his hardening length. It doesn’t take long for the both of you to get wet, and the silk glides easily between your thighs like butter.
“That’s it, baby girl,” he encourages, one hand reaching up to cup your breast, “use me, make  yourself feel good.” 
“Please, don’t call me that,” you whine against his mouth, trying to keep the mood in, “Babe is fine, but baby girl makes me feel like a little kid and I’m not a little kid.”
“You damn right,” and he lifts his hips to meet yours in a sharp thrust, and you gasp hotly into his mouth. It’s too late to muffle your moans, not when you’re drenched with two pathetic pieces of fabric stopping the both of you. “You’re a gorgeous, intelligent, strong, amazing woman.” 
With every compliment, he does all the work, thrusting with each adjective like he’s blessing poetry into your body. 
“J-Jungkook,” the name is muffled against his shoulder, too fuzzed in ecstasy to be embarrassed by the drool coating his tank top. His hair tickles your shoulder as he nips at your clothed breasts, swirling around your nipple. “I-I, m’gonna come,” 
“You’re almost there huh?” and he slips a hand between you two to find that sweet spot, swirling designs between your shorts. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
And you’re shaking, collapsing into his embrace as he rides out your high. He cradles one hand in your hair as you rub furiously against his other, chasing your pleasure like a starved animal. 
“K-Kook,” you murmur into his neck, finding the strength to roll your hips one more time to check. “You’re still hard, do you want me to help?”
“No.” he’s forthright, and as tired as you are, you force yourself to pick your head up. Sweat lines his brow and his face is flushed, but he’s already helping you off and handing you a tissue from the nightstand. 
“What?” you’re hurt, and don’t want to admit why. 
“Don’t feel like you need to,” he grunts into your forehead, dipping a chaste kiss right in the center. “Just let me do something nice to you for once.” 
As much as you want to, you don’t complain as he tucks you in. You don’t complain when you see a wet stain on his Kirby boxer briefs. You don’t answer back when he checks his phone one more time and pulls you in to press a kiss to your cheek. It’s 12:31. 
“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs into your skin, and turns over so his back faces you. 
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Christmas is a loud and eager affair. The entirety of your family piles into your house while still in pajamas, aunts and uncles from other villas running in with their children with their newly opened toys and gadgets. There’s a buffet style breakfast piled on the kitchen island, and you’re all eating in the living room while watching holiday movies. 
Jungkook melds right in, unsurprisingly. He has your baby cousin Dante in his lap, teaching him how to use the controls of his new Nintendo Switch. 
Despite only meeting Jungkook a few days ago, you notice that some of your family have taken the liberty of giving him small presents. You spot a simple silver chain around his wrist, courtesy of Jimin, and a fluffy grey scarf wrapped around his neck, courtesy of your aunt’s impeccable knitting club. 
“He fits right in, doesn’t he?” 
Yoongi hands you your usual cup of tea, and you accept it gratefully. You’re sitting right next to the tree, and you notice that some of the ornaments are miniature books. You absentmindedly run your fingers over the carved wood, especially on the ones that are your favorite titles. 
“Yeah,” you hate to admit, so you whisper it into your mug. But Yoongi can hear, he always does. “I didn’t think it would be this easy.” 
“Easy to love him, or easy to fit into this family?” 
You splutter into your mug, and Yoongi does the right thing by patting your back. It feels a little bit like he’s burping a baby, but otherwise, it soothes your lungs. 
“I am happy for you, you know.” he says, knocking knees with you. “It might not seem like it now, but I truly am.” 
Deciding not to dwell on his subversive confession, you thank him for the tea and excuse yourself. Dante seems like he’s got the hang of MarioKart, so you tug Jungkook by the hand and lead him back into your bedroom. 
“I got you a present, but I didn’t feel like making a scene about it,” you pull out a pink gift bag, tufts of white tissue paper sticking out. “Also, it’s kinda cheap and it was a last minute thing, so don’t have any high expectations.” 
“Gee, you’re really making me feel deserving of this gift,” but he takes his time in unraveling the bag anyway. 
He pulls out a shiny onyx black mug, rolling it between his hands. On one side it’s engraved in gold cursive “World’s Best Boss” but on the other side it’s engraved, “World’s Best Husband”. 
“Subtle,” he grins, pulling you into a hug. He gets that it’s a gag gift, but because it’s from you, it's a lot more meaningful. You could’ve easily delved into his bank accounts and see what he buys for himself, but you decided to take the more personal route. 
“Thanks,” he murmurs into your hair. And to really throw you off he says, “For my gift, I’ve decided to publish your novel.” 
You shove him away as if you’ve been stung, and you barely have the voice to ask, “Are you serious, you’ve read my novel? I didn’t even send you the first draft!” 
“We share the same Google Drive, it was easy to find. If you had noticed, it’s the only thing I’ve been reading this week,” he shrugs as if it’s nothing, but he’s in actuality giving you your lifelong dream. “You deserve it, really. I’m sorry if you felt like it wasn’t ready to be read. But it was wonderful, you’re a real wordsmith.” 
“I’m not upset,” you can’t be, not when he smells so good and he’s trying to hug you all over again. “How many copies?”
“10,000.”
“20,000.”
“15,000, and I’ll even give you permission to dedicate your novel to me.” he raises his brows irreverently. 
You scoff at his arrogance, but you don’t admit to confessing that along with professors and your family, you would be dedicating it to him. “Well my gift feels like absolute shit,” you deadpan, “can I have a do-over tomorrow? We can go to the mall or something.”
“You’ve done enough for me,” he disagrees, breaking away from you to place the mug on your desk. “Agreeing to my farfetched proposal, letting me into your home. I think that’s an amazing gift.” 
“You’ve been way too nice,” you look at him wearily, noting the rosiness in his cheeks. 
“You say that like it’s not possible!” 
“Who knows? Maybe the Christmas spirit has performed a miracle, who am I to judge?” and you can’t get enough of the man, running into his heart one more time. Pressing your ear to his chest you sing, “Well, in the Poconos they say, that Jeon Jungkook’s heart grew three sizes that day.” 
It may have not grown three sizes, but if the living room wasn’t so loud, maybe you could’ve heard his heart beating three times as fast. 
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The calm after the storm is your favorite part of Christmas. Most of your extended family has left to mull in their own homes, leaving your family to laze around until it’s just you and Jungkook that are awake. 
Jim Carrey’s version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas is playing on Netflix, arguably the only superior rendition of the children's book. The tree is still glowing by the fireplace, soft white lights trickling in the darkened room. 
Earlier in the night, you and Jungkook had cuddled up in the middle of the couch under a blanket, and were too lazy to move even when the entirety of your family vacated. Either of you could’ve easily shoved each other off and went to bed, but here you are, making offhand comments over hot cocoa. Each second that passes by, you’re more aware of how well you two sink between the fabric like you’re meant to do this. The domesticity terrifies you, but you don’t dare to point it out. 
“How does his face do that?” Jungkook turns to you, contorting his face into funny expressions. It’s a poor attempt at the green creature on the screen, but it makes your mouth twitch and you fight the urge to giggle. “It’s like he’s made of rubber.” 
“He has a sense of humor, unlike some people.” 
“Very funny,” he says, turning away to take a sip of his cooca. 
Sinking further into the couch, you unconsciously latch onto him more, savoring his body heat. “Can I confess something?”  
“What’s up?” 
“A week ago, I loathed you. I used to have recurring dreams about you getting run over by a Wonderbread truck. And I was driving the truck.” 
“Wow, that makes me feel so much better.” 
“No really, if I had the opportunity to watch you get hit by a cab, I would’ve paid for it.” 
“If it were possible for me to file for divorce at this very second, now would be time. You are a walking red flag.” 
“Okay, but!” you shush him with a finger to your lips, and he goes cross-eyed at the touch. “After seeing your stellar performance this week and an impeccable display of human emotion. I think after all of this, we could be friends.” 
“Fwends?” he says through your finger, mouth smushed. “Why whuh we?” 
Instead of lifting your finger right away, you swipe at his cherry lips, getting rid of the marshmallow sticking to the corners. 
“Because we get along.” you say simply.
“Because we’re supposed to be getting married.” 
“No! We’ve always gotten along! We’ve just been too up our asses to notice!” you sit up, appalled. “Here’s my theory, a change of setting has suddenly spurred on your character development—”
“—y’know I really don’t appreciate your use of literary jargon, it’s really pretentious—”
“—because without your external conflict, you have a chance to let loose and enjoy your life for once!” 
Jungkook frowns, adjusting his frame so he slightly hovers you. He’s pretty like this, dressed in fluffy black pajamas and his face soft. His eyes absorb the Christmas fairy lights, and you notice for the first time in two years that there are no longer purple bags under his eyes. 
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, voice so small you wonder if he’s worried to crush the moment. “Friends are hard.” 
You shake your head vehemently, “Friends are easy, keeping them is the hard part.”
He doesn’t know why he’s being so weird about this. You’ve worked for him for over two years, you know him as well as you know your skincare routine, down to the last detail. 
“Jeon, don’t think too hard about this,” you try to get him to lighten up, the intense look in his eyes throwing you in for a loop. It makes the little hamster wheel in your head spin rapidly, and you wonder if you’re really crossing a line. “Jimin said you had a really good time yesterday, I was almost jealous I couldn’t come shopping with you.” 
He cracks a smile at that, “Yeah, Jimin and I shared a moment,” and he leans down to the shell of your ear, “and he said he really enjoyed our moment last night.” 
“Oh my god!” you grab a nearby throw pillow, chucking the rough fabric in his face. 
He breaks into a laugh, but not the wine and dine chuckles that he’d have between terse negotiations for work. It’s a full out giggle, like he’s proud to have riled you up enough to break your resolve. Who knew your angry face could be so cute? 
“I guess if we’ve crossed a line, might as well make it all the way to the end,” Jungkook says easily, running a hand through his chocolate tresses. 
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You and Jungkook are leaving the day after tomorrow. Most of your stuff is packed and ready to go, and you’re currently spending the rest of your night at a sit-down dinner with your immediate family plus Jimin. 
It’s peaceful, you muse. Jungkook even offered to help cook. Back at Big Hit not once did he ever bring leftovers from home, always insisting you order something for him during work. Kimchi fried rice is a simple dish, but Jungkook had taken great care in making sure it was cooked properly and adjusted to your family’s tastes. 
Your parents are glowing and enjoying their time with the whole family, a rarity that grows more valuable with age. The meal soothes you like a balm, reminding you of old conversations that had you spew milk out of your nose or Namjoon accidentally spilling beans on your lap. 
“Oh, you should also clear your schedule for the first week of September,” Jimin says absentmindedly, shoving another mouthful of fried rice. “Besides Easter, Jungkook says we can celebrate his birthday and visit for the weekend.” 
“Seriously,” Namjoon balks, sitting up straight as he regards you in disbelief. “You’re sure your Devil of a boss will enjoy you out of his chains for two vacations, god forbid you take the holidays off again.” 
The grip on your fork tightens, but you steel yourself. Honestly, you were wondering why it took Namjoon this long to let it all out. He was always vehemently against your job, as he was the person who got the brunt of your vents when you were stressed. Probably for the sake of Christmas he let it go, but now that it’s over, the topic’s fair game. 
“Oh, c’mon Joonie,” your mother frowns, “not at the table.” 
“He isn’t that bad, Joon.” you reason, completely ignoring Jungkook as you stare straight at your brother. “He means well—”
“Means well?” Namjoon barks a laugh, as if it’s the most laudable thing. “Sis, you cried everyday for a straight month after you were hired.” he places his hands on the table, regarding you carefully, “I had to personally call your doctor in New York to get you sleeping pills, and not to mention that two weeks ago, you were crying again because you were worried he forgot your vacation and would make you work! Don’t tell me he ‘means well’ when I’ve been busy picking up the pieces!” 
At this point, you’re livid. Jungkook’s right here, and while you can’t go ahead and out the fact that he is your boss, you can still have his back. 
They don’t know that you’ve picked the pieces back up, reinforced yourself to create a better version of the person you once were. 
“He does mean well,” you cry, matching your brother’s red tone to a T. “He’s just stressed and genuinely cares about the company. I choose to work long hours because he takes his time in making sure the work we publish is worthwhile, and I support that. He’s hard on me because he knows I have potential. He’s going to make sure I succeed.” 
Namjoon looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. “You’re seriously defending your shitty boss?” 
Jimin puts a hand over Namjoon’s in an attempt to placate him, but he shoves it away.
“Honestly,” Namjoon spits venom, “how can you possibly stand to be around someone who makes your life so miserable?” 
Your meal has gone cold, and your fists clutch desperately at your jeans. The breath is robbed from your lungs, and you can’t look at anyone for fear of them regarding you with guilt. You know since the day you got hired that your family wasn’t exactly enthused at your boss’ level of expectation and work output. But they don’t know the industry, and they don’t even really know Jungkook past the surface level. . 
But you know in their eyes, they’re right. Their daughter left their comfy home to pursue her lifelong dream, only for it to be broken in a matter of weeks. It’s natural to feel protective, and while you’re resilient and were able to get it together as of late, it wasn’t enough for them to understand. As someone who loves you, it’s obvious they’d want to blame your boss, blame Jungkook for your suffering. 
You imagine your father would ask Namjoon to step outside, or your parents would make Jimin pull you and Jungkook out. Neither of those things happen.
A warm, large hand is placed on top of yours. You look towards Jungkook, face unreadable as he squeezes your thigh. 
“Namjoon’s right.” Jungkook utters, pressing his lips together. “You deserve to be treated with respect. The boss has never appreciated the hard work you do, at least not out loud. You’re too good for him.”
“Jungkook,” you gape, putting your other hand over his. 
He pulls away at your touch, glancing at the clock. “This dinner was wonderful,” he says gently, looking apologetic to your parents. “Excuse me, but I promised to call my parents at this time.” 
The excuse is completely half-assed, but no one says anything as he leaves, walking out the door without a coat. The table is terse, with your parents attempting to coax out dessert while Jimin clears the dinner table. You refuse to look at Namjoon, who has no idea why you’re so upset. You wait five minutes before you mumble about getting Jungkook a jacket. 
However, when you open the door he isn’t sitting on the porch. He’s all the way up the street, too far for you to be heard with a yell, and walking farther into town. The black hoodie falls to your side, disappointed. 
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Jungkook does in fact, call his parents. Your mother suggested it when she gave him the ring, thinking it would ease his homesickness if he made a better effort to communicate his feelings. 
And so he spends over an hour huddled in a cafe, talking about nothing and everything with his mom and dad. He tells them about the little novelties he’s experienced this week, like making popcorn strings and picking out themed Christmas ornaments. He tells him how he promises to book a flight back to Korea as soon as his work visa goes through. While he doesn’t mention the proposal, he mentions you. He prattles on and on about how strong and beautiful you are, and how you’ve crept up on him and made him realize how awful of a person he was. 
His mom prattles excitedly through the line, saying that women make you realize how much better you can be for them, but she doesn’t know the half of it. 
Jungkook sat there in your dining room, Namjoon boldly telling you off about how miserable he’s made you. 
And yet still, you defended him in ways he never imagined. Your relationship has always been mutual, and prickly at best. You balanced each other out, but he knows he doesn’t deserve you. When he first hired you, he rendered you indispensable like all the other assistants that couldn’t handle it. You’d break eventually. 
And you did break. But you picked up the pieces and put yourself back together, and you didn’t resent him for it. He hated that. How can you trust someone who’s hurt you so much? 
He can’t let you go through with this marriage. You’re wrong. You don’t need him to be successful. 
[11:09] You: mom unlocked the door for you. Jimin and i went out for drinks so idk when ill be back
[11:09] You: please don’t be mad at me
Silly girl, why would he ever be mad at you? 
His plan is simple, Sneak into your villa, grab his luggage, and try to book the earliest flight back to New York. Then, he can come clean to Taeyeon and spend the year in Korea while they work out his visa issues. He’ll quietly pack his things and clear out the office before Monday.  Hopefully by the time he makes it to Busan, he can forgive himself. He’s going to regret missing your expression when you get to hold the first physical copy of your novel. 
This plan proves difficult when he sees Namjoon waiting outside for him, sitting on his luggage and reading a book. His long legs are splayed across the porch, and he doesn’t spare Jungkook a glance.
“Knew something was off,” the older man doesn’t look up from his novel, “found the mug on her desk, bossman.” 
Muttering a curse under his breath Jungkook opens his arms, “Are you gonna beat me up now?” 
“What? No, I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Jungkook scoffs, and watches Namjoon roll his luggage to the back of the van. “And out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll save you the Lyft fare and drive you to the airport.” 
Is he that predictable? He flinches at the sudden jet of the ignition, and he takes heavy, snow-laden steps to the passenger seat. Once buckled in, Namjoon tosses the book in his lap. “Some light reading for the drive.” 
If Namjoon wasn’t the driver, he wouldn’t hesitate to chuck the book at his big, intelligent head. Instead, he glowers, clutching the book tightly. It’s only when they round the corner to a house brightly decorated with lights, does he see what novel Namjoon’s plucked. 
A Mutually-Assured Attachment. Jungkook tosses the book back and forth between his palms, noting the soft cover is so worn it could melt apart in his lap. It feels tended and loved from years of use. 
It’s Jungkook’s first novel, and you had a copy. One of the first editions, if he remembers the cover art correctly. Granted, he thought you had some of his books purely because of your job, but not one from your childhood. Frankly he thought this should have never been published, but he was nineteen and that in itself was a large feat. 
He carefully peels the pages, and takes out his phone to shine the flashlight mode. At the very front, blood red ink is scratched next to the title: “this is THE most pretentious title i’ve read in my life! Don’t disappoint me jeon!!” 
Your handwriting’s all over the place. He sees graphite, gel, and glitter pens mark the margins, as if you’ve come back each time to write something new. The annotations vary, from “this part sucks” to “shit, that’s good i should do that”. You draw little pictures of the objects he’s contrived, from the little brass locket one character cherishes to the facial expressions you imagine they hold. 
And at the very end, your handwriting sits neat and bold on the inside cover: I can do better than him. 
Jungkook chuckles to himself, turning off the light. You’re always right. 
Namjoon senses the younger one is done, and he clears his throat. “I really really don’t understand what she sees in you.” 
“I don’t understand either,” Jungkook agrees easily, his finger tracing your handwriting. He muses that you were always out to get him, even if you didn’t know it. 
Namjoon masks his surprise by clearing his throat. “But I’d rather seek to understand than live the rest of my life having my sister resent me. I don’t really know what you two are going through, but if she trusts you with her life, I’ll try. Emphasis on try.” 
“I don’t deserve your trust.” 
“You damn right you don’t,” succumbing to his impulses Namjoon makes a sharp turn, and Jungkook holds his stomach together before it flies out the window.  
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You come home to find your room cold and barren. All of Jungkook’s things are gone, except your Christmas mug. 
You at least thought Jungkook would spare you a goodbye before he ditched you. You hoped you’d at least consider each other friends who provide explanations after all of this. 
Lifting the mug off the desk, you hear a little clink in the glass, the chime unfamiliar. Hurriedly, you pour out its contents. A heavy, tungsten black ring lands in your palm. You clench the metal between your fingers, hugging it to your chest. 
Mind made up, you dash out to the hallway, nearly bumping into your cousin. At the same time you and Jimin blurt, “We need to go to the airport.” 
Apparently Namjoon warned Jimin that something fishy’s going on. Namjoon didn’t know what, but he had the inkling that Jungkook was hiding something. Once Jimin received the text to meet them at the airport, he flung you in his sedan and floored it. Flushed with adrenaline, Jimin is speeding with a fervor you’ve never experienced. 
“Can you please, take the edge off and tell me what the hell is going on?” 
Just like how Jungkook didn’t want Big Hit to go down the drain, you didn’t want this week to be in vain. You can’t wait a year for Jungkook to come back, and you didn’t want to publish your first novel without him by your side. 
“Long version or short version?” 
“The in-the-middle version. I don’t think I have the brain capacity to absorb all your drama right now but I really need some answers.” 
“O-kay. Basically, Jungkook isn’t a Literary Agent. He’s my god-awful boss. Or was awful, I don’t know. Jungkook left the country before his work visa was fully processed. That’s a breach, so he needs to live in Korea for a year to come back. But he can’t run Big Hit remotely, so he proposed to marry me to attain citizenship.”
Your head whips to the dashboard and you cry out, barely stopping the impact with your hands.  
“Sorry, sorry!” Jimin’s eyes are focused on the red light, absolutely terrified. “Bitch, you’re committing fraud with your boss! You could go to jail, that’s like, the hottest love story ever!” 
“But he’s going back to Korea because now he suddenly realized he can forge basic human connection.” you mutter, “so no, we’re not going to jail because he’s decided to do the right thing.” 
“So what you’re saying is, Jungkook has achieved self-actualization and decided to peacefully move to Korea and sacrifice the company for you.” Jimin is carving his free hand in the air, gesturing wildly. “Don’t you see! He really likes you.”
“Yeah, so now we need to go to the airport and tell his dumbass this isn’t the time to be selfless.” 
Once you find a spot you’re rushing out of the car, weaving between carts and people to find the correct terminal. This airport is much smaller than JFK, so it’s easy for you to navigate and get past the TSA. It also helps that Jin’s wife is an attendant. 
“He chose the 1:45 flight in Terminal 31A,” Mijoo chirps from her tablet, leading you in the right direction. She’s dressed impeccably, the odds and ends of this airport glued together by her impeccable organization. She points to the clock, which glares a digital 1:18AM. “You have time.” 
“Thank you Mijoo,” you exhale gratefully, “and I’m so so sorry I skipped your wedding!” 
“This is the 300th time you’ve said it,” Mijoo rolls her eyes, pushing you and Jimin forward, “But I’ll make sure not to miss your wedding.” 
You’re sweating from your down jacket, and you can’t believe it’s really all come down to this. The one person you’ve spent the last two years of your life doting on, and you didn’t want to stop. You wanted him not just for the publication of your novel, but because you needed him. 
Jungkook’s sitting in the waiting area of Terminal 31A, looking wholly inconspicuous as he reads a book and has his hood propped up. 
Fists balled, you stride forward only to have Jimin tug you back. “What?” 
Jimin pulls off your thick coat, making haste to wipe the sweat off your brow with his sleeves and flatten your messy hair. “What?” he tilts his head to the side, “you need to look good before the big confrontation. I’m recording this for archival purposes. Do you have any lip balm by any chance? You look chapped.” 
You slap his hands away, but those grubby fingers just come back with a vengeance. “My life is just a big show to you, isn’t it?”
“Living vicariously all day, every day.” 
While Jimin parts your bangs, the intercom cuts through the air. 
“The 1:45 flight to John F. Kennedy International airport will now commence boarding. Please line up according to the ticket class.” 
Jimin smiles at you, squeezing your shoulders and gestures for you to go. To your horror, Jungkook is first in line. Panic bubbles to your throat.
“Jeon Jungkook!” you cry, voice echoing throughout the terminal. “If you so much breathe in the direction of that plane I will call Mark Lee right this second and tell him the book series is off!” 
Like a deer in the headlights, Jungkook heeds to your voice immediately. In his stupor you jog forward to snatch his wrist and pull him out of line. You don’t let go until you’re away from the long line, and Jungkook tugs his wrist away. 
“Don’t you dare call him,” Jungkook looks serious, as if you didn’t drive all the way to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. “I will never forgive you if you terminate Mark Lee’s contract.” 
“And I won’t forgive you if you get on that plane.” 
Pain flashes in his eyes, and he shakes his head. “I need to. I can’t let us—let you go through with this. You and your family deserve better.” 
“What? Jungkook, I agreed to this just as much as you did.” 
“No, you didn’t.” he’s adamant, and steps back with every step you take forward. “As your boss I threatened you, held it over your head like an ultimatum. I’ve hurt you,” his voice cracks, looking at you desperately, “why would you want to be stuck with me when I’ve made your life miserable?” 
“If I really wanted to leave, I would’ve done it a long time ago.” You reason, “Do you really want to leave the company behind? To fucking Karen?” 
“Of course I don’t!” Jungkook exclaims, “but it isn’t worth hurting you, hurting your family and everyone that loves you.” 
“And what about you? You’ll be hurt when you leave,” and you step forward, so close that your chests are touching. You take hold of his hands, clutching them between your small ones. “Don’t go, stay with me in New York. We’ll both work hard and try to not run each other to the ground. Let’s be better together.” 
You’re practically begging, biting your lip raw and hoping Jungkook understands how good this change is for the both of you. 
Jungkook is conflicted, looking back and forth between the airline boarding for JFK and your watery eyes. He hates seeing you like this. He can’t imagine you, the strongest woman he’s ever met, crying because of him. Namjoon’s voice echoes in his mind and he tries to smash it to the edge of his memory. But as always, you’re right. 
He replaces your grip with his own, and gets down on one knee. 
Jungkook says your name like it's the sweetest of songs. You’ve never seen him so terrified. “y/n, I didn’t do it right the first time, so let me try again. Please, marry me. Marry me because I want to date you. I want to take you out and give you what you deserve, what we deserve. I want to do better for myself, do better for you. I’ve realized you’re the only person that makes me feel like I’m simultaneously on fire and on thin ice,” he pulls out a velvet box from his pocket, revealing a thin band with interlocking black and clear diamond studs. It’s a pretty little thing, with a groove in the center so it stacks perfectly with your engagement ring. “This was supposed to be your Christmas present, but I chickened out at the last second,” he says sheepishly, tucking his head in. “But if you let me put this ring on your finger, I promise to be your home away from home.”  
With a sob you fall to your knees, throwing yourself onto Jungkook. A small “oof” escapes his lips, and he struggles to hold your waist so you both don’t topple over. “Yes, yes, yes!” you cry, pulling away to cup his face with both hands, pulling him into a sweet kiss. 
Jungkook’s smile takes up his entire face, and he eagerly pecks your lips one more time before ripping the ring from its holder and stacking it on top of your engagement ring. The teardrop diamond is nestled perfectly between the thinner band’s V. “Pretty,” he says, pressing his forehead to yours. 
“Wait,” you pull out the black ring that you found in your room, holding it to his face. “I’m assuming this is yours?” 
“Yeah,” he replies, “your mother said it was your great grandfather’s. It’s not an engagement ring, but it’s the thought that counts.” 
“It matches,” you hum, placing his simpler band in his ring finger. Once it’s on, you take a deep breath. “Shit, we’re really doing this?” 
Jungkook pulls you to stand, wiping the happy tears from your cheek. “We are, we’re a team, remember? We’ve crossed the line and we gotta finish it.” 
And he picks you up, the workouts definitely paying off as he spins you around like you’re the leads in La-La Land, drunk off the happy chemicals firing in your brain. Jimin whoops and hollers, along with all the other patrons in the vicinity of the airport terminal. 
Your real-fiancé puts you down, the both of you now hyperconscious of the stares people give you. Other people have filmed the proposal as well, completely smitten by your confessions. 
“Jungkook,” you giggle into his shoulder, “you were right. Our story is straight out of a Wattpad entry.” 
“Down to the super cheesy in-public airport proposal?” he chimes, pressing his forehead to yours. “Couldn’t have asked for a better love story.” 
“I can’t wait to fall in love with you,” you whisper, quiet enough for his ears only, “for real, this time.” 
“Not that it’s a challenge,” he teases softly, “but I’m already halfway there.” 
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some months later.
“Like the new office, boss lady?” your new assistant (yes, you have an assistant!) asks kindly, his bubbly presence uplifting you immediately. He leads you to the window box, filled with tiny plants. “I figured you like succulents, because you have no time to water them and they’re prickly like you.” 
“Very funny, Seungkwan.” you chide good-naturedly, picking up a succulent with a yellow flower in the middle. “But thank you, your interior design skills are outmatched. I can’t wait to work with you.” 
“Me too, your social commentary you published on the literary industry? And you managed to lace it all up in an inconspicuous fantasy novel?” Seungkwan boasts, “I applied for this position right then and there.” 
“Thanks Seungkwan, why don’t you take your lunch and we’ll meet back at one to discuss our plans for next week.” 
“Sounds good, do you want me to pick you up something?” 
“I’m good, I’m meeting with the bossman.” 
Seungkwan gives you that look, his lips jutting out in a suggestive manner that almost makes you burst into giggles. Your assistant decides not to bother you until after you’ve eaten, and bids you goodbye. 
Just when you get a moment of peace, a handsome face pokes his way inside. “Hello editor,” Jungkook knocks on your door for the sake of attention, but you’re already dragging him into the office and shutting the door tight. “Like your new office?” 
“Love it,” you moan, gesturing to Seungkwan’s light filtering curtains. They’re not dark, rather a tasteful sea green, but they’re opaque enough to stop wandering eyes from peeking into your space. Your personal space was a qualm that immediately needed to be mended after your experience in Jungkook’s office. “A lot more private than your office.” 
“A little part of me hates how much you deserve this promotion,” he sits on your desk, and doesn’t hesitate to pull you between his legs, letting you lean into his chest, “but I do love the added privacy.” 
You fiddle with the buttons of his navy collar, his strong thighs trap you between him, “Why, miss me already?” 
He shrugs, “Taehyung doesn’t look as good as you do in a pencil skirt.” 
You laugh, brushing the strands of hair that fall from his coiff. “No one looks as good as I do in a pencil skirt.” A firm grip confirms that, two strong hands cupping your backside. “Mr. Jeon!” you gasp playfully, pushing him away slightly to pinch his cheeky grin. “Can we save this for later? I’m hungry, but we can always continue this for dessert.” 
He groans in your neck, “Love the sound of that, Mrs. Jeon.” 
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bonus.
“FUUUCCCKKKKKK YEEAAHHHHH!” Park Jimin’s voice bounces off the walls of Taeyeon’s office, his face taking up the entire screen of his desktop as the camera shifts harshly between him and you and Jungkook at the airport. “My cousin’s not going to jail! WOO!” 
Taeyeon pauses the YouTube video at a particularly unflattering screencap: Jimin’s nostrils are flaring wildly and he looks fairly high mid-scream. 
A low whistle escapes Jungkook’s lips, “Wow. That video’s viral,” he looks to you appreciatively, “if Jimin kicks off his YouTube career, you think we can milk a memoir outta him?” 
“Potentially,” you reply nonchalantly, playing with your rings. 
“So,” Taeyeon’s voice is icy, slashing between your casual conversation, “you’re getting married, for real this time?” 
“Yep,” Jungkook pops. 
“Alright,” and from her desk she pulls out an ungodly stack of documents, one that mirrors your own back at the office. “Jungkook, you’ll stay with me. y/n, you’ll go to Vernon’s office and he’ll give you the same spiel. We’ll interview you privately with the same questions. A hair out of place and you’re in trouble. You sure you want to go through with this?” 
You and Jungkook exchange looks, betting your own company that you got this in the bag. 
“Hit us with your best shot.” 
3K notes · View notes
deannaroxannewrites · 3 years
Text
Tropetember Day 4 - Rockstar / Actor / Model / Famous AU
The future is unwritten
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: General Audiences
TW: Drinking/alcohol
AN: Day 4 of @tropetember. This has potential to be the start of a short series. Would anyone be interested in this playing out? (first date, meeting Jack, properly meeting the team, media finding out etc etc)
Life as an famous author can be lonely, but maybe a handsome stranger can turn your day around.
Find this story on Ao3 here.
Word Count: 1.5k
Staring into a glass of whisky never solved any problems, but at least it passed the time.
When you’d started writing your first book, you never could have imagined how exhausting a promotional tour was. You very rarely had time to yourself, spent weeks at a time on the road and constantly had to be on your best behaviour. Not that you were exactly badly behaved but anything more than a glass of wine or two with dinner had your publicist cutting you off to “protect you image”. No matter how many times you assured her that your audience of young adults would likely not be surprised by an author having a couple of drinks at the bar, until the end of the tour, you were cut off.
You really missed having total control of your life.
And so, like a teenager sneaking out past curfew, you had waited for Denise to go back to her room to bed, before slipping out of your hotel room and down to the bar.
When booking your hotel, the publishing company had been all set to book you into opulent rooms around the country but you had convinced them that that would make you easier to find. Instead, you were booked in a nice hotel with good facilities, the sort of place businessmen would be happy to stay and meet clients for a drink downstairs. Lots of dark wood and leather chairs and large glass windows.
You’d stationed yourself on a comfy stool at the end of the bar, taking advantage of the window to watch the rainy New York street outside. It also allowed you a convenient view of the lobby. The good people watching spot allowed you to notice when a group of well dressed, if slightly rumpled, people wandering in, exhaustion pulling at their features.
One of the men, a tall handsome individual with dark hair and a stern expression, broke off from the group after a quick discussion and headed in your direction. He quickly gained the attention of the server and ran off his order - lots of alcohol and one coffee - before propping himself against the bar next to you.
You took a moment to study him. Up close, you could see the laughter lines in his face and warmth of his chocolate brown eyes. You also clocked the gun on his hip under the very nice suit jacket he was wearing.
“I can hear you thinking” he says, the smooth deep baritone jolting you from you staring. Rather than being ashamed you just smile. Who are you to turn down a chance to chat with a good-looking stranger? It's nice to act like a normal person for a change.
“That coffee you ordered is definitely for you then” you state. That surprises a laugh out of him. It’s a rich, warm sound and you savour it. He doesn’t look like a man who laughs often.
“You would be correct,” he agrees. ”Do you often spend your time staring at strangers?”
You smile at that and concede “only the handsome ones”.
The tips of his ears redden slightly but he manages to control the rest of his micro expressions. In the meantime, you sip at your whiskey.
Desperate to continue the conversation, you observe "I'd normally ask if you were on a trip for business or leisure but I think we've covered that."
He hums in agreement, taking your invitation to continue. "How about you?"
You wave the whisky glass at him. “The trip is for business, this however, is for pleasure.” You give him a cheeky grin and then sigh. “I’m just looking forward to being back home in DC next week. I hate being this close and yet not able to sleep in my own bed.”
“I’m the same. DC seems to be one of those places everyone complains about living there when they’re there, but loves when they can’t make it.”
Working under your assumption that he’s FBI, you presume he must work out of Quantico. What a stroke of luck chatting to someone who won’t be far away when you return home? You take a moment to assess your options and take a leap of faith. He doesn’t seem to know who you are and you’re enjoying the attention.
“Anyone waiting for you back home?”
He smirks at your extremely unsubtle comment, before allowing “just my little boy. He stays with his Aunt when I’m gone.”
Sadly, the bartender has managed to finally round up all of the drinks for his team. He pays quickly and then gives you a contemplative look. He seems to decide you're not a creep or serial killer or whatever else, and reaches into his pocket, withdrawing his card.
“If you’re around tomorrow and want to get a drink? Work permitting obviously.”
You feel a smile break out on your face.
“I’d love to.” You pocket the card before reaching out your hand. ”I’m Y/N.”
“Aaron” he responds with a quick grin, taking your hand and shaking firmly. “Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a good evening. Don’t work too hard.”
And with that, he collects his drinks tray which is fully loaded and heads back to his group. You catch a couple of surprised expressions out of the corner of your eye and, as you stand up to head back up to your room, you notice the older gentleman pat him on the back before they all settle into looking through files.
Huh, apparently picking up strangers in bars was a rare occurrence for him. You wouldn't have guessed. He seemed pretty in practice from how he was talking to you.
Now, best sneak back upstairs and get some sleep.
------
It was nearly 3pm, meaning you only had an hour left of book signing. Sadly there had been some sort of arrest made across the street though which had put a bit of a damper on the event, reducing the amount of foot traffic into the store.
From your vantage point, you could see FBI and police personnel wandering around and looking busy and had been reduced to people watching to pass the time. You were startled out of your daze by a familiar voice.
"When our tech analyst demanded I stop by to get a copy of your book autographed for her, I had assumed the name was a coincidence."
You cringe. Oops. Busted.
"Hi Aaron," you say meekly. It's only as you glance up that you see he's smiling that you relax a little.
"Aren't you supposed to be outside tidying up your mess?" You question, taking the book off him with one hand and waving your other at the street.
"I've done most of my work for now. As we're consulting, we are not responsible for tidying up."
You hum in acknowledgement before asking who the book is for and signing the copy with a personalised message. You've never been one to just sign and hand back. These people are supporting you, it's the least you can do.
"No drink tonight then? I assume you'll be back to DC?"
"Sadly."
You both glance at each other, trying to gauge what to do next. You're grateful he takes the plunge.
"We could do something when you're back in DC? I can be pretty busy with work and Jack, my son, is my priority but I can try to fit something in? If you want?"
It's an interesting thing, seeing a calm and confident man like Aaron turn into a rambling mess. You take it as a compliment.
"Of course. I understand having a busy life. One of the benefits to being a writer is setting my own schedule.” You glance around the shop. “When I'm not doing promotion obviously. We can make something work."
You're rewarded with a grin and it makes your heart flutter.
"The main question is, are you sure you want to? I'm not, like, mega famous, but it can be a lot sometimes."
He doesn't even stop to think before he answers.
"I'd regret it if I didn't. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. We take a step back. At the very least, I'd like to get know you"
That sentence settles your nerves. You're sure you look like a maniac with the smile that's currently plastered across your phase.
"Can I call you tonight? Since I can't make drinks?"
You nod, but notice there are a few people waiting to meet you. Sigh, best wrap it up for now.
"Of course, I'll text you and we can sort out a time."
He nods, also noticing your fans and, before he can lose his nerve, leans down to press a gentle kiss to your cheek.
You say your goodbyes and he heads back outside with book in hand, apparently impervious to the whispers.
And if your publicist comments that you don't stop smiling for the rest of the day? That's not really any of her business, is it?
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plaidbooks · 3 years
Text
Dark Secrets: New Beginnings
A/N: This is the first installment of the Vampire!Sonny x reader fic. This chapter is only setting the stage; next chapter will be more about the vampire aspect, I promise! This covers the Bookstore square in @adarafaelbarba​ moodboard bingo!
Tags: mentions of sex
Words: 2233
Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart​  @beccabarba​  @thatesqcrush​ @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ @permanentlydizzy​ @ben-c-group-therapy​  @infiniteoddball​ @glowingmess​ @whimsicallymad​ @lv7867​ @storiesofsvu​ @cycat4077​ @alwaysachorusgirl​  @glimmerglittergirl​ @joanofarkansass​ @caracalwithchips​ @berniesilvas​​  @reading--mermaid​  @averyhotchner​  @mrsrafaelbarba​ @detective-giggles​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @dreamlover31​
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You spent hours on the computer compiling resources for your thesis. After years and years, you were finally getting your Ph. D in History…if you could just finish this damned thesis. List complete, you headed to the local bookstore; you always checked them first before going online, since they were cheaper.
You were intimately familiar with the bookstore; you went there often. And you had double and triple checked online that they had these books. You had a small basket, four books in it, while you looked for the fifth and final book you needed. But its spot on the shelf stood vacant; a perfect hole where it should be.
Shaking your head slightly, you started to search the shelves around it, in case someone didn’t put it back correctly. But you were coming up empty. And this was the book that you needed to buy here; the shop had it for $20, while online was a couple hundred.
“Looking for Making the Revolution: America, 1763-1791?” a voice asked from behind you.
You turned to find a pale, lanky, attractive man, his hair slicked back, his bright blue eyes watching you intently. He was sitting at a table, open book in his hand. Seeing the cover, you knew it was the book you needed.
“I am, yes. Were you intending to buy it?” you questioned, praying he said no.
The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “I was debating it. Why, do you want it?”
“I do; I need it for my thesis. If you let me buy it, I promise to give it to you when I’m done, free of charge.” At this point, you were just desperate for that book.
His eyes seemed to bore into you as he thought about your proposal. Finally, he smiled, saying, “I think that’s a noble reason to buy this book. You’ve got yourself a deal.” He held the book out to you, and you gently took it from him.
“Thank you so, so much. You don’t know how much this helps me,” you said, placing the book in your basket.
He held a hand up. “No problem. There’s a lot of inaccuracies in that text, anyways.”
You blinked in surprise. “There are?”
“Oh yes. For one, it perpetuates the idea that Christopher Columbus came here to ‘escape tyranny’ in England, which is a load of crap, if I’m honest.”
You took a step closer to the strange man. “Do you have a source on that?”
He thought about it, chuckling to himself about something, before he answered. “Well, I am in the process of transcribing a manuscript from the man himself. But it hasn’t been published quite yet, so I doubt it’ll be of use to you for your thesis.”
“Wh—who are you?” you asked in awe.
He held a hand out for you to shake. “Dr. Dominick Carisi Jr., but you, my dear, may call me Sonny.”
Your eyes widened in shock, and you quickly shook his hand. “Dr. Carisi? Oh my god! I’ve been reading your work in class; I loved your thesis on slavery!” You had never seen a picture of him, had no idea he was so young; he was about your age. You had expected him to be an old man, at least in his 80s, not this attractive man in his early 40s at most.
He barked out a laugh. “You’ve really been reading my work? I’m flattered. I didn’t think anyone put stock in my texts.” While it was true he was a world renowned historian, his work was seen as highly controversial. He had a knack for citing manuscripts and journal entries, things that no one had discovered before he brought them to the limelight. But every authenticator had proven that the writings were from the time period. And that was enough for you.
“Please, sir, er, Doctor. Could I spend a day with you, pick your brain for my thesis? I’ll—I’ll buy the drinks and food, just…please?” you asked, suddenly embarrassed.
But Sonny’s smile grew. “I’d like that. But only if you call me Sonny. If you’re doing your thesis, then I assume you’re almost done with your doctorate?” You nodded, and he continued, “then in my eyes, we’re equals, and you don’t need to call me ‘Doctor’.”
Your heart beat a little faster when he called you equals. “Thank you so much Doc—Sonny. Does the coffeeshop next door work for you?”
“It does. And I’m free all week, whenever you need me.”
“How about tomorrow morning? I don’t have class until 3pm; I hope that’s enough time to chat.”
He gave you that heart melting smile once more. “Sounds good. See you tomorrow.” Then he took your hand and kissed it. As he walked away, your knees felt weak. You were infatuated within five minutes of talking to him.
 **********************
Sonny turned out to be an incredible source of information. Plus, he brought books that he thought would help you, letting you borrow what you needed. And, like yesterday, you found yourself completely enamored with him. He didn’t have a ring on, so you assumed him unmarried, but you didn’t know how to bring it up without being weird. Sure, you were close in age, but he was done with school, became a published historian, while you were still finishing up college. But he never talked down to you; on the contrary, he seemed highly interested in what you had to say.
Like before, you had been nervous—star-struck, really—when you met up with him. But as the hours ticked by, you found yourself more and more comfortable with him. He was highly intelligent, especially about history. You had found it hard to find someone who was as interested in history as you were, without sounding like a pretentious asshole. But Sonny checked all those boxes for you. You were just unsure if he felt the same.
“When is your thesis due? I feel like it��s still early in the academic year,” he asked.
You cleared your throat. “It is; I still have months and months to work on it. It’s due next year, but I want it to be perfect, you know?”
“I do, I do,” he agreed, nodding. “I hope you’re taking some time off, though, as well. Don’t let this paper take up your whole life; you should be out, appreciating everything this life has to give you. Don’t get stuck in the past.”
You looked at the table, letting his words soak in. It was like he had looked right through you; for the past month or so, you’ve been deep in your studies. You had friends, sure, but you hardly saw them. And you’d given up on dating until after you finished college, anyways. But maybe Sonny was on to something. You should seize the day, capture every moment in memories.
“Would you like to get dinner with me, Sonny?” you asked, trying to sound as confident as possible.
It was his turn to look surprised. “Oh, uh…sorry, you caught me off guard. In all my years, no one has ever asked me out; it’s usually the other way around.”
You chuckled. “You’re not much older than me,” you joked, and he smiled. “Maybe it’s time for something new. For both of us…that is, if you want?”
“I’d love to go to dinner with you,” he said, and your heart soared.
When it was getting close to 3, you bade him goodbye, and he told you he would be eagerly awaiting your dinner date. You felt your face heat at the words, and you swore your face never cooled off for the rest of the day.
*********************
That date with Doctor Carisi turned out to be the best decision of your life. You both felt the spark between you, and you said yes to a second date before he even finished asking. Now, it’s been ten months of loving bliss between you. You completed your thesis, got your doctorate, and Sonny couldn’t be more proud of you. And you learned that while he was a historian, he was also a detective. He said he wanted to help people now, by giving them both access to history material, and by putting absolute monsters away.
But there were little things with him, quirks, really. Though you’ve been to his place, and he yours, he never made a move to get you into bed. Sure, you’ve kissed—and sometimes this escalated to a full-blown make out session—but he didn’t seem interested in sex.
He also didn’t seem interested in moving in together…or a future at all, really. Whenever you tried to bring it up, he would just nod along with you, agreeing to whatever you said and adding on a lot of “one day’s”.
He had no family for you to meet, and yours didn’t live close. You noticed he also didn’t eat or drink much; he loved to make you dinner, and he would say that he snacked while cooking. And then, about once a month, he’d leave for 3-4 days, claiming he wanted to be alone to work on the manuscript.
You gave him as much space as he asked for, and though you still loved him dearly, you were starting to wonder if there was something wrong with you…or if it was just something he was having issues with.
“Hey Sonny?” you asked one day while snuggling on the couch at your place. “Are we okay?”
He glanced down at you. “As far as I know, yes? Why, something on your mind?”
“Well…I was just thinking about how we’ve been together almost a year and we still haven’t moved in together,” you tried.
He looked to the ceiling as he thought. “Wow, I guess it really has been that long now, hasn’t it? I feel like I just met you yesterday.”
“So, are we not connecting on a deeper level, then?” You sat up, turning to look at him.
His bright blue eyes found yours, and his expression softened. “That’s not what I meant; I’m sorry it came out like that. Time just…it moves so quickly is all. Look, I love you, I just—I don’t think I’m quite ready to make that jump yet. I’m sorry; I know this must be frustrating, but I promise you one day, I’ll…I’ll be ready.”
You nodded. “I love you too, I just….”
“What is it? You can tell me—”
“Why won’t you sleep with me?” you asked softly. His eyes widened, and you quickly added, “are—are you ace? It’s fine if you are, I understand, but I just…I feel like it’s something wrong with me, and I—”
He cupped your face in his hands, looking deeply in your eyes. “No, it’s nothing wrong with you, I promise. I’m just…I’m not ready—”
“I have urges, Sonny. And I love you, want to wait for you. But it’s been almost a year. I—I don’t believe a healthy relationship is built on sex, but well, it’d be nice to have every once in a while….”
He sighed, releasing your face. “It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do. I just want to be absolutely sure I’m ready. Call it shyness, or embarrassment, whatever you want. But I want to make sure that—that you’re the one for me, first, okay?”
You opened your mouth to respond when his phone rang. He gave you an apologetic look before answering with his stiff, “Carisi.” He mostly listened, making little noises of affirmation, before hanging up.
“I’m so, so sorry, doll. But the department needs me. I swear we’ll talk about this once I’m home, okay?” he promised, getting to his feet.
He grabbed his jacket, heading for the front door. “Sonny wait,” you called, and he stopped, looking back at you. You hurried over to him, looking up into those beautiful blues. “Be careful.”
He smiled softly. “I will be; promise.” He gave you a kiss, and then he was gone.
 ********************
You didn’t hear from Sonny again until the next morning, when he showed up on your front door, breakfast in hand. He apologized for leaving you last night during that important talk, but you brushed it off, telling him it was fine.
“That’s not all I have to apologize for,” he said, looking anywhere but at you. “I’m…going undercover. I’ll be gone for three months.”
Your face fell, and you put your fingers under his chin, tilting his face until he looked at you. “Three months?” you breathed.
“I’m sorry; I tried to decline, but the Lieutenant gave her orders. I leave in an hour.”
“Three months…” you said again, worry blossoming in your chest. This was the longest he’d be gone since you started dating.
He nodded. “I’ll text or call when I can, but don’t expect it; it may be too dangerous.”
You’d heard enough; you lifted onto your tiptoes, kissing him desperately. Your hands went to his hair, and you pulled him close, all your fear and trepidation in the kiss. He froze for only a moment before he was kissing you back, hands on your hips. He clutched you tightly enough that you gasped in pain, and he pulled away, releasing you.
“I’m sorry. I love you,” he muttered before turning to leave, but you had a suspicion that he wasn’t apologizing for leaving.
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donutloverxo · 4 years
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No more waiting
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Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!
Note - Part two to Pink Lady.
Dividers by @whimsicalrogers
Summary - Andy is determined to wait. But will he be able to?
Warnings - 18+ only smut (m/f), professor/student relationship, unprotected sex, dom Andy, many mentions of spanking but no actual spanking, sir kink.
Pairing - Andy Barber x reader
Word count - 3320
Masterlist is linked in the bio!
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You groaned as you tossed out yet another piece of clothing. Professor Barber had asked you to come to his house, so he could give you ‘private lessons’. Obviously, you had no interest in actually studying. Especially with a man who looks like Andy Barber. You intended on milking the time you did have with him by getting what you wanted.
You settled on a tight skirt that hadn’t fit you in years. It was sexy enough to be enticing but innocent enough that you could claim plausible deniability.
You are not trying to tease him. You would never! You’re just wearing a normal skirt and taking lessons like the diligent and sincere student that you are.
You whistled lowly, pulling over in front of his house, impressed by the sheer size of it. He was an actual adult with a big, sophisticated house in the suburbs. The most valuable thing you owned was a Louis Vuitton bag an ex gave you.
You couldn’t be intimidated. Not now, when you were in this deep. Checking your lipstick one last time you rang the bell, holding your books up and eagerly waiting.
After a minute he opened the door. Leaning over the frame and examining you.
You felt butterflies pool in your stomach at his casual loungewear. His sleeves rolled up, exposing his tones arms to you and those dark jeans hugging him so perfectly. You really couldn’t decide if you preferred this or those business suits.
“You’re late.” he scolded you as you rolled your eyes. Of course that’s the first thing he'd say to you. “What have I said about rolling your eyes at me?” he cocked his head to the side, as if daring you to provoke him.
You hummed in thought, “I don’t remember.... Oh yes!” you beamed as if you’d had an epiphany “to do it as often as I can!”
He stared you down for a moment before shaking his head as he chuckled. “Get in here. What am I going to do with you?”
You were about to be a smartass some more, cooking up a dirty response in your head, just to see how far you could push him but then he put his hand on your lower back. You felt shivers run up your spine, goose bumps all over your skin as you squirmed under his touch.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, shutting the door behind you.
You gulped as you nodded, “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I’m just here to study.” You laughed to ease your own nerves.
“Go sit on the table,” he instructed.
You pulled out a chair, placing your books on the dining table. He sat in front of you, nursing a beer. “Let’s start. Where do you struggle the most?”
“Can I have one too?” You were about to take the bottle from him to take but he swatted your hands away.
“Absolutely not. You need a clear head to study. And we both know you can’t handle your alcohol.”
You scoffed incredulously, “I can so! And if I can’t have it then neither should you.” you puffed your cheeks before mumbling “beer tastes gross anyway.”
“Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” he groaned pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let’s not forget, I’m doing you a favor here.”
“I know, maybe I could thank you for it.” you licked your lips. Thinking of his heavy cock in your mouth, the biggest you’ve ever had, it was a challenge to deep throat him. You weren’t one to just give it away for free and not expect anything in return. But... anything for professor Barber.
“That’s cute,” he said condescendingly, giving you a fake wide smile. “Now start studying or I’ll have to spank you,” he warned.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you giggled shamelessly, not really understanding how that would be a punishment, but then opened your book when he gave you a stern look.
He got up and walked to the stove check on his sauce. He just needed to get away from you for a moment and take a breather.
He hasn’t thought this through.
His original plan was to tutor you and get your grades up. So that you could graduate and he could ask you out without endangering his job and reputation. He intended to keep his hands to himself till then. One slip up and you both would have to face grave consequences.
The blow job in his office - was a mistake. Although it was too good to be something he mourned or regretted. He should’ve said no but you knew just to push his buttons. Just like the ridiculous schoolgirl skirt you were wearing tonight. Or how your tight shirt and cleavage left nothing to his imagination.
Worse of all was that fucking red lip. He hated that you had tasted him and he couldn’t even kiss you. What he wouldn’t give for just a quick peck.
“Mr Barber,” he heard you call for him and groaned as his cock stirred at your chirpy tone. He loathed just how far gone he was for you. You, sitting up so sweetly with your breasts pushed up together, certainly don’t make it any easier.
“I’m all done. Can we get on to the fun part now? Pretty please?” you cooed batting your lashes at him.
“The fun part is studying - keep telling yourself that and you might actually like it.” he suggested and you rolled your eyes again. He had half a mind to bend you over the table, lift up your skirt and pull down your panties, even though he was pretty sure you weren’t wearing any, and teach you a lesson. “Careful. Or they’ll get stuck up there.” He tapped your forehead with his finger.
“I meant the actual fun part.” Boldly, you reached over and palmed his crotch through his jeans. Not really surprised to find him aroused.
“Stop,” he gritted as he grabbed at your wrist with a bruising grip. “I told you, we’re not doing that. Not till you graduate or I’ll lose my job.”
“What about what we did in your office?” you pouted.
“That was a mistake. You left me no choice.”
You frowned, “Right. I overpowered you because you’re so weak and helpless.”
“Enough. Now study and then we can have dinner.”
“And then we have dessert?” You wiggled your brows suggestively.
“No. Then you drive back to your dorm.” he ignored your pitiful puppy eyes and sat across you, working on his cases. Maybe that would inspire you to actually get some studying done.
“Do you not like law?” he asked after over an hour.
You hummed as you heard him. Too engrossed in studying, you didn’t even register his words. You didn’t remember the last time you had concentrated so well. “Meh. It’s alright I guess. I wouldn’t wanna go to law school though.”
“Then what do you want to do?” he dropped his pen leaning back on the chair, crossing his arms across his chest.
“I don’t know. I guess what you do sounds nice,” you mumbled making notes with your glitter pens.
“Being a DA?”
“Yeah. It just sounds so hard though. Like going to law school and then being an intern for years and then working for like eighty hours a week...”
“Anything worth having is always hard to achieve.” he stated. Aware of how the same applies to his situation. He wants, no needs you, but if he wants to do this the right way - he has to wait.
“I guess you’re right.” you agreed.
After going over your notes and quizzing you, he was satisfied with your progress. He set the table for dinner.
“Good job,” he smiled, feeling his heart swell with pride. “See, you put your mind to something and you can absolutely achieve it.”
You squinted your eyes, “No spanking then?”
He chuckled “Nope. Not for now. I’m your tutor, that’s all.” he said more so to himself, to remember, to have some self control, it will pay off.
“Oh my gosh!” you moaned as the creamy tangy sauce burst your taste buds “I can’t remember the last time I ate something that wasn’t ramen.”
He shook his head “You need to eat better to study better.”
“But I don’t know how to cook!” you whined.
“Then I guess I’ll have you teach you that too.”
He helped you pack your things up, moving as slow as a sloth. Not wanting you to leave just yet. He couldn’t have enough of you. Maybe he’d ask you to stay in the guestroom. He had a perfectly good excuse, it was late. But he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to keep his hands off of you.
“Goodbye then. I’m going to quiz you tomorrow. Don’t forget.” he said walking you to his door. He turned to see you blinking up at him.
He never thought he’d be so smitten with someone so different than him. All his life he dated women his age or older. They suited his old soul much better, none of his relationships really went anywhere, maybe he was too cautious to actually let someone in. To open up enough, to reveal his true self to anyone.
But you were unlike anyone he had ever met, it was as if you were exotic. So bright - almost blinding. So young and sweet. You made him feel things he never thought he could. You could be the proverbial ying to his yang.
“Yeah yeah, I remember,” you waved him off. Still salty that you didn’t get to do any of the naughty stuff you had planned. “Is there something on my face?” You touched your cheek when you caught him staring at you. Letting out a shaky breath and cowering under his predatory gaze.
“I’ll try harder next time!” you panicked, assuming you did a bad job at studying. You tried your best. What else were you supposed to do? The idea of a spanking sounded more scary than sexy to you now.
“Fuck it,” he gritted as he crashed his lips over yours, grabbing your waist and your hip to still you. He invaded your mouth with his tongue, taking his time to explore all your nooks. Sucking your bottom lip between his lips before releasing it with a smack he pulled away. Both of you heaving and trying to catch your breath.
You threw your arms around his neck, pressing hot and quick kisses “I thought we were going to wait,” you said against his lips.
“I can’t. I thought I could. I’m only a man, you know?” he sighed as he pulled you in, exploring your body with his hands “What do you want to do?” As impatient as he was, he would never force himself on you or do anything without your permission.
“I just... I - ” Your cheeks instantly heat up as you stutter. As naughty as your filthy mind was, it had to choose this moment to betray you. “You know, you know! Oh my god,” you smacked your forehead “Are you really gonna make me say it?”
“Yes,” he breathed, leaning down to suck your earlobe “say it.” He peppered butterfly kisses on your jaw and down your neck. Sucking thoroughly on a spot that made you moan.
“Fine!” you huffed. Feeling his fingers ghost over your inner thighs. “Professor – sir, will you please fuck me. As in put your man missile in my special princess place.” you said in a mock seductive tone.
“Don’t sass me.” he groaned, pushing his erection into you, he put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around, lightly smacking your butt he urged you to go upstairs. “Come on, hurry up. We don’t have all night.” You did have all night but his patience, as it often did with you, was running thin.
You made yourself comfortable on his bed, working on his belt and unzipping his pants. “I’ve never been this addicted to a cock before, professor,” you husked pulling him out of his underwear and licking a firm stripe up his slit, his hand holding onto your head. “I hope you know you’re special.” you beamed at him through hooded eyes. Wrapping your lips around his weeping tip, about to swallow him whole but he pushes your head away.
“Right back at ya, honey. Now,” he laid down on his back beside you as you stared at him, so adorably confused, “come sit on my face.”
“What?!” you unintentionally screamed -in delightful horror. It had always been a fantasy of yours, so downright dirty, and you have a chance to do it with your dream man? You would be a fool to turn him down, but you were anxious, that beard between your thighs would be a bit too much for you to handle.
He didn’t give you any time to think about it, grabbing your hips and swiftly placing you on top of his head, “Oh!” you yelped at the coarse feel of his whiskers against your pussy. You held onto his short silky locks for support as he worked on steadying you “That’s - ” you were cut off when he wrapped his mouth around your clit, sucking it harshly.
“You’re already so wet,” The vibrations from his words sent a jolt up your spine “And you’re not wearing any panties,” he tutted before diving back in, determined to not stop until you’re seeing stars.
“Are you really surprised - holy shit,” you gasped as you felt his tongue prodding at your entrance before slipping in. It was so strange and new, the velvety warm feel of it was almost too good. “Oh, I’m gonna come.” you whimpered.
“No,” he pulled away “you don’t come without permission. Is that understood?”
You frantically nod your head, under any other circumstances you would’ve argued, who the hell does he think he is to deny or control your orgasms? But you were putty in his hands and desperate to have that sweet release. “Please, sir, can I come?”
“May I come.” He corrected you “You need to learn some manners.”.
And you had to supress the urge to call him names, “May I come, sir? Please.” you said breathlessly as he lapped you up.
“Yes, you may.”
You sobbed, his fingers digging into your ass and his tongue working magic on you was too good all at once. A string of curses and loud moans left your mouth, your climax hitting you in waves of pleasure, you held onto the headboard as your legs turned into jello.
“That was amazing,” you panted, mewling as he nipped at your sensitive flesh.
You got off of him, kneeling beside him as he got up, his beard drenched in your juices which he rubbed off with the back of his hand. Placing a sloppy kiss on your lips, to make you taste your own arousal, he pushed you down on his mattress and worked on ridding you of your clothes.
You pulled the helm of his shirt up “Off!” you whined. He was too far gone to chastise you so he took off his clothes, throwing them away before he got a good look at you.
He groaned at your naked form. He had thought of you while pleasuring himself more than once. He wouldn’t even be bothered to be ashamed of it. He thought of your lips and small hands wrapped around his girth, how tight and hot your cunt would feel, but most of all how beautiful you’d look when you were completely bare.
He painted a pretty picture in his head, but really, he never could do you any justice. His imagination could never be that strong.
“Is something wrong?” you bashfully averted your eyes from him.
“No. You’re just so... perfect.” he couldn’t come up with a better word.
You scoffed, “You’re just saying that. There are a million things I’d change about myself. I’m not the one who’s perfect!” you frowned. Tempted to touch his defined abs. His broad shoulders and bulky form looked ridiculously big between your legs.
“I don’t have time to argue,” He absolutely would not have you or anyone else, putting you down. Bur right now, his cock was aching to be buried in your heat. If he waited any longer he was afraid he’d burst. He lined his cock up to your entrance, watching intently as he slowly pushed in “but we will have a discussion about that, later.” he groaned as he bottomed out.
“What?” You had no idea what he was even going on about. His cock was stretching you out “It’s too big,” you cried. You felt as if you were being split in half.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.” He was aware that he was much bigger than average. So he stayed inside you for a few moments, letting you get accustomed to his length. He slipped a hand between your joined bodies, spreading your lips open with his fingers.
“Don’t - don’t do that.” Him looking at your pussy like that, when you were so vulnerable before him made you flustered.
“Look,” he told you and you only shook your head. He sternly said your name and ordered you to look again.
You propped yourself up on your elbows, gulping as you sneaked a peek, whimpering at the sight of his girth buried inside you.
“You have such a pretty pussy you know that?” He gushed before making a ‘tch' sound and stilling your hips, stopping your pathetic attempts at wiggling them. “Wait a minute, will you?” he wasn’t done admiring you and savoring you.
“Please,” you begged as tears fell down your cheeks.
He grumbled something under his breath before pulling out of you, his tip still buried in your heat, he pushed back in forcefully.
You threw your head back, clutching your pillow tightly as his hips rutted into you. His pelvis rubbing your swollen clit every time he bottomed out.
“Can I - can I come?” you remembered to ask him even though you were too delirious to even comprehend what you we’re sayings. Everything around you slipped into an abyss. His groans echoing in the room, his bruising grip on your hip, and his cock driving into you again and again, touching all your sweet spots.
You weren’t sure you could stop yourself even if he said no. But you knew he’d never be that mean. You vaguely heard him say ‘yes' before you let go. Clenching around his length as you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming anymore.
His hips stuttered, pulling his length out of you, he stroked himself above you. Your fucked out state only fuelling his aggressive jerks as spurts of his seed landed on your stomach and your titts.
He held onto your knee, swirling his cum that painted your skin so beautiful with his fingers, “Looks pretty on you,” He smeared some on your nipple before pulling it between his fingers.
“Ouch,” you grimaced as he released it. “Too sensitive right now.” you closed your eyes, already feeling drowsy.
He hummed “I’ll let you sleep for a few hours.” He used his discarded shirt to clean his cum off of you before throwing it away and pulling you in his arms. He nuzzled his nose in your hair, feeling satiated with your soft warm body against him.
“You have god tier stamina, man.” You murmured “Andy, you couldn’t even last a day. What happened to being patient? What will people say?” you giggled, burying your head in his chest.
“That’s Professor Barber to you.” he smiled, kissing your temple. Even tired, you were still a spitfire. He’d deal with all that the next day. “It was worth it.”
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Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤
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dmsden · 3 years
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A History Lesson - Looking back at D&D’s history
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Hullo, Gentle Readers. Well, this is the 5th Monday in March, and that means I get to write about anything I want! It’s also my birth month, which means it’s my anniversary of getting into D&D (42 years!), and that has me feeling nostalgic. Coupled with a discussion I had recently with some friends, I thought it would be fun to look back at the various editions of D&D and give you all a bit of history. I’m not going to get into Gygax vs Arneson or any of that. I’m only talking about the published game itself, not its creators or its storied origins.
The original D&D (or OD&D as it’s sometimes called) came in a small box. It had three booklets inside - Men & Magic, Monsters & Treasure, and The Underworld & Wilderness Adventures - along with reference sheets and dice. Each was softcover and roughly the same dimensions as a DVD/BluRay case. The game was pretty rudimentary - for one thing, it assumed you already had a copy of Chainmail, D&D’s direct wargame predecessor. It also recommended you have a game called Outdoor Survival for purposes of traveling through the wilderness. It had only three classes - fighting man, magic-user, and cleric - and nothing about playing other races. It did have the insane charts that 1st edition would ultimately known for, and it was possible to play a pretty fun game of D&D with it, as its popularity would come to show.
The game expanded through similar chapbooks - Greyhawk, Blackmoor, Eldritch Wizardry, Gods Demigods & Heroes, Swords & Spells. With the exception of the last one, each brought new facets to the game - new classes like Thief and Monk, new spells, new threats. It was clear the game was going to need an overhaul, and it got one.
I consider this overhaul to yield the real “1st Edition”, as so much of the game didn’t exist in those original games. The game split into a “Basic” game, just called Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.
The basic game was a boxed set that included a rulebook, a full adventure module, and dice...or, well, it was supposed to contain dice. The game was so popular and new in those days that demand for dice outstripped production. My copy of D&D came with a coupon for dice when they became available and a sheet of “chits” - laminated numbers meant to be put into cups (we used Dixie Cups with the name of the die written on it), shaken, and a random number pulled out without looking. It was meant to introduce new players to the game, so it was a trimmed down version. Races were human, elf, dwarf, and halfling, and classes were fighter, cleric, magic-user, and thief. The box only included rules for going up to 3rd level, with the intention that players would then graduate into AD&D. This is where I joined, with the old blue cover box set and In Search of the Unknown, before Keep on the Borderlands even existed.
AD&D was the game in its full glory. Along with the races I mention above, we got half-elves, half-orcs, and gnomes. The four basic classes also had sub-classes, like paladin and ranger for the fighter, druid for the cleric, illusionist for the wizard, and assassin for the thief. There were rules for multi-classing, as well as “Dual-classing”, a sort of multi-class variation for humans only, which, when done in the correct combination, could yield the infamous bard...which didn’t actually yield any bard abilities until around level 13 or so.
This edition had 5 different saving throws for things like “Death Magic”, “Petrification & Polymorph”, “Spells”, and so on. It had the infamous Armor Class system that started at 10 and went down, so that having a -3 AC was very good!  It also had specific attack matricies for each class; you would literally look on a table to determine the number you needed to roll on a D20 based on your class, your level, and your opponent’s armor class. It was fun, but it was very complicated.
It also had some, frankly, shitty rules. There was gender disparity in terms of attributes, which my group totally ignored. Because the game designers wanted humans to be a competitive the game, and because non-humans had so many abilities and could multiclass, non-humans were severely limited in the levels they could achieve in most classes. In fact, some classes, such as monk and paladin, were restricted only to humans.
As the years went on, things got a bit muddled. It probably didn’t help that the rules in Basic D&D and AD&D didn’t perfectly line up. In D&D, the worst armor class was a 9. In AD&D, the worst armor class was a 10. All of this led to an overhaul, but not one considered a separate edition. AD&D mostly got new covers and new books, like the Wilderness Survival Guide and Dungeon Survival Guide, Monster Manual 2, and the Manual of the Planes. It got a number of new settings, too. In addition to the default Greyhawk setting, we got the Forgotten Realms setting for the first time, details of which had been appearing in Dragon Magazine for years, thanks to the prolific Ed Greenwood. We also, eventually, got the whole Dragonlance saga, which yielded the setting of Krynn.
In this new version, Basic D&D broke off into its own game system to some degree. Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling started being treated like classes rather than races, with specific abilities at different levels. Higher level characters could be created using progressive boxes - Expert, Companion, Master, and Immortal, each with its own boxed set and supported by Mystara, a completely different setting that got its own updates over the years. It was odd, because D&D essentially was competing for players with AD&D, and I remember arguments with friends over which version was better (I was firmly in the AD&D camp.)
In 1989, when I was in college, they finally brought forth 2nd edition D&D. This streamlined things a little. Armor Class still went down, but now attack rolls boiled into a single number called To Hit Armor Class 0, or THAC0. It made the whole process of figuring out what you needed to roll a bit less cumbersome, but it was still a bit awkward. The classes got a lot of overhaul, including making Bard its own core class. But what I remember best about 2nd edition was the boom in settings. This was the age of settings, and many beloved ones got started, including Dark Sun, Planescape, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer.
It was also the age of the “Complete Handbooks”. They brought out splatbooks about every class and race in the game, as well as books expanding several concepts for the DM, such as the Arms & Equipment Guide, the Castle Guide, and the Complete Book of Villains. There were also splatbooks about running D&D in historic periods, such as Ancient Rome, among the ancient Celts, or during the time of the Musketeers. The game got new covers for the rule books again, and a bunch of books about options started coming out. It was a boom time for books, but many people complained there was too much.
Without going too deep, TSR ended up in severe financial troubles. They declared bankruptcy, and there was real fear of the game going away. And then Wizards of the Coast (WotC) stepped in. They helped TSR get back onto its feet, and they helped produce some modules specifically engineered to help DM’s bring an end to their campaign...possibly even their whole campaign world...because something big was coming.
That something big was, of course, 3rd edition D&D. The game got majorly streamlined, and many sacred cows ended up as hamburger. AC finally started going up instead of down. Everything was refined to the “D20″ system we’ve been playing ever since. Races could be any class. There were no level or stat limits for anyone. After years of the game being forced into tight little boxes, it really felt like we could breathe. I had stopped playing D&D, but 3rd edition brought me back into the fold. I often say that 3E was made for the players who’d felt constricted and wanted more flexibility.
The trouble with 3E, and its successor 3.5, is that it was still a dense and difficult game for newcomers to get into. It’s been acknowledged that D&D essentially created many of the systems we see and know in other games - experience points, leveling up, hit points, etc. But trying to break into the experience for the first time was difficult. The look of 3E was gorgeous, but I understood that it must seem awfully daunting to someone who’d never played.
4E and its follow-up, Essentials, was an attempt to course correct that. They tried to make this edition incredibly friendly to new DMs, and, frankly, they succeeded. By creating player classes and monsters and magic-items that were all very plug and play, they did a great job of creating a game that someone who had never DMed before could dive into with no experience or mentor and start a game pretty easily. Encounter design was given a lot of ease, and there were promises of a robust online tool system that would help out with many of the more tedious aspects of playing.
There was also a lot of shake up in terms of choices. Suddenly, new classes and races were proliferating like crazy. We got the dragonborn, the tiefling, and the eladrin right in the core book, but we said good-bye to the gnome and half-orc at first. Suddenly the warlock was the new class everyone wanted to try. We got paragon paths and epic destinies that would really shape a character as time went on. The game went very tactical, as well, which some of us loved. The concept of rituals came into the game. Later books like the Player’s Handbook 2 and 3 gave us back gnomes and half-orcs, and also gave us minotaurs, wilden, shardminds, and githzerai. We got new psionic classes, brand new class concepts like the Runeknight and the Seeker...
But there was a tremendous backlash. People felt that, in making the game so very plug and play, they’d taken a ton of choice away from the players. Without the tools (which were never that robust, frankly), it was almost impossible to navigate the massive panoply of options. And, worse, it was harder and harder to develop encounters without those tools. People complained that the game had gone more tactical in order to sell miniatures and battlemats. Given that I have never played the game without miniatures and battlemats (since I started in the days when D&D was still half-wargame), I found this odd, but I also understand my style of play isn’t everyone’s.
The one argument I will never understand is that it didn’t “feel” like D&D, or it was somehow ONLY a tactical game and not a role-playing game any more. Again, given that the original game didn’t even call itself a role-playing game, this felt odd. Personally, I roleplay no matter what game I’m playing. If I’m playing Monopoly, I’m roleplaying, doing voices, and pretending to be something I’m not. I honestly enjoyed 4E, and I know a lot of folks who did, too. A lot of it may simply come down to style of play. But I also enjoyed all the games that came before, including Pathfinder. To paraphrase the YouTube content creator The Dungeon Bastard, “Does your game have dungeons? Does it have dragons? Great. I wanna play.”
As a sidenote, in the months leading up to 4E’s release, a lot of internet videos were released by WotC emphasizing the nature of change and talking about differences in the rules. They also released some preview books showing the direction they were heading. WotC must have anticipated that people were going to find this edition very different indeed. They also cleverly brought in some very funny folks - Scott Kurtz from PVPOnline and Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik from Penny Arcade - and got them to play D&D for podcasting purposes. Looking back, this must’ve brought in a lot of listeners who might never have played D&D and given them a reason to try it out.
After its release, WotC clearly noted that missteps had been made, as this edition of the game was losing them players. They began work on what they referred to as D&D Next, and, this time, they did massive amounts of playtesting, some of which I participated in.
I don’t feel like I have to describe 5E to any of you, Dear Readers, as you could go to virtually any store and pick it up. I am a big fan of 5E’s simplicity and elegance, and I suspect this is the edition of D&D we’re going to have for some time to come, especially given its popularity. Given the effect of podcasts like Critical Role (and I might save an article on Critical Role’s importance to D&D until my next Freestyle article), D&D is likely more popular now than it’s ever been, with a much wider and more diverse audience than ever before.
I know I’m painting with broad strokes here, but I hope this was, at least, entertaining, and maybe you learned something, Gentle Readers. Until we next meet, may all your 20s be natural.
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alwaysmychoices · 3 years
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Where I Think the OH Gang Ends Up - HCs
After 3 books of falling in love with these characters, I thought I’d share my HCs for where these characters end up - including some about Charlie and Ethan’s future. Obviously, this varies because I’m a Ethan romancer, so I could make different versions depending on your LI. Included is where they live, their jobs, and their personal lives. 
If you have any questions/HCs, feel free to reach out, and I hope you enjoy this!
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Location: Boston, MA
Career: Diagnostician Specializing in Pediatrics
After her residency, Sienna worked at Edenbrook for a year before deciding to complete a fellowship in Pediatrics at Edenbrook, where she focused on diagnostics in children, particularly in conditions that are rare or difficult to diagnose.
During her fellowship, this field proved difficult mentally and emotionally, but Sienna’s resilience and strength, coupled with her passion for her patients, made her a leading figure in her field.
She stayed on at Edenbrook, where she bridged the gap between pediatrics and diagnostics.
Personal Life:
When all her friends started leaving Boston after residency, Sienna acted as the “glue” holding them together. She organized Zoom calls, visits, and group vacations. She also gets the best gossip as a result.
She stayed close with the whole group and regularly sees those who remained in Boston.
She still goes to see Danny’s mom for coffee and fresh baked goods.
Sienna met her husband through work. Her patient’s fourth-grade class organized a trip to show their support for their classmate. Andy was their teacher. Six months after they started dating, Sienna knew Andy was the one. She was baking cookies for her next meeting with Danny’s mom, and Andy not only offered to go with her but started helping her bake.
The gang is still very protective of Sienna – so much so that they all rushed to meet Andy to see if they approved. After all, only the best could deserve her.
When Sienna and Andy got married, everyone was so happy for them. But they were probably even happier a few years later when they started their family.
It took some adjustments, but Sienna adapted to her new work and family life balance like a pro – even if it meant she barely slept for those first few years.
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Location: Boston, MA
Career: Diagnostician, Co-Head of the Diagnostics Team, Department Head
At the culmination of her residency, Charlie Greene probably could have gone anywhere she wanted, but she wanted to stay with her team. Even as she watched some of her friends go off to start new lives, she felt committed to Edenbrook.
However, it would have been easy for Ethan to stifle her career ambitions purely by taking up too much room and not leaving enough for her to grow. He wanted her to prosper though, so he had to step back when necessary.
Over time, the team dynamic shifted so that they were leading it together, so she deserved the title.
She proved to be an excellent doctor, teammate, researcher, and leader. So, when she was named head of the department many years later, it was an honor well deserved – even if it was one she later started to appreciate less once she realized the amount of paperwork involved.
She’s worked hard for everything she’s achieved, and she’s not done achieving it.
Personal Life:
Charlie married Ethan Ramsey, and after everything they’d been through, saying those vows came with a sigh of relief and joy.
Despite conversations about leaving Boston to be closer to family, they never did. Boston had become home.
They started a family with children, dogs, and a townhouse. They invited Ethan’s dad and Charlie’s parents to holidays, and Charlie’s friends had an open invitation to visit her.
It would be wrong to say that everything was easy, but they were happy.
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Location: Boston, MA → Stanford, CA → Boston, MA
Career: Researcher & Attending at a Medical School & its Affiliated Hospital
Elijah went straight into research at Edenbrook after his residency. After a few years of learning from his coworkers and growing as a researcher, he published his research. He received the opportunity to leave Edenbrook and join a research team at Stanford University, and it was too good of an offer to pass up.
Elijah spent the next few years researching at Stanford as an academic, but once their research was published, he decided that pure academia wasn’t the right environment for him.
His impeccable research skills and high recommendations earned him job offers at university-affiliated teaching hospitals where he could do research and engage with patients. He accepted a position in Boston that met his research needs and brought him closer to home.
Elijah’s research contributions went on to help countless patients.
He continued to publish his research and lead several teams, all the way until he was leading his very own lab. By the end of his career, he was a top lecturer at a premier medical school.
Personal Life:
At the end of their residency, Elijah was the least afraid of the distance now separating him from his friends. His familiarity with his technology and his love for the gang meant that he was ready to keep them so digitally connected that they hardly noticed the separation.
Still, he missed them. And he missed Boston when he left, too.
Elijah was never too concerned about finding a partner, so he wouldn’t have minded ending up alone. In fact, for a long time, he thought he would.
Then, he met a fellow researcher, Alicia, at a convention. They bonded over their favorite comic books and their work. Though Alicia lived in Connecticut, they started dating, and within a few years, they were married in Boston. A few years later, they had kids and a shared google calendar blocking out their research days and family time.
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Location: Miami, FL
Career: Surgeon
As the star resident, Bryce wasn’t particularly surprised when Edenbrook offered him a full-time position at the culmination of his residency. He fully intended it to take it, too.
But then there was the recruiter from Miami. He entertained the offer primarily for his ego, but something about it struck a nerve. One of his career idols was offering to take him under wing there, and even though Bryce had finished his residency, there was still so much he wanted to learn. He only visited to find out more – not because he intended to accept – but Miami allured him. The familiar heat, sea breeze, and electric energy captivated him.
It was a difficult decision, but ultimately, Bryce packed his bags and moved to Miami (even if he secretly cried about it and facetimed his friends constantly).
There, he prospered and honed his skills as a young surgeon.
When MC (Charlie) visits, it’s clear that Bryce and his mentor have a very similar relationship to that of Ethan and Naveen. So, it isn’t a surprise when Bryce assumes his mentor’s role after his retirement and heads the department – nor is it a surprise when Bryce’s surgical prowess became known outside Miami.
Bryce’s favorite achievement is the Lahela Method, a surgical method he developed, perfected, and popularized.
Personal Life:
Having finished his residency two years after everyone else, he thought he would be ready to leave Boston and his friends, but he wasn’t. They had become his family, and even with their strong bond and efforts to stay close, he missed them.
Leaving for Miami was difficult, but he made friends and kept in touch with the gang.
Bryce was too focused on work to ever start a serious relationship. He preferred casual flings and short romances to long-term relationships.
He’d been in Miami for two years when Kyra came into town for her extended visit. She only planned to stay in his guest room for two weeks, but she ended up staying for a month. He didn’t mind. In fact, he encouraged her to stay. He missed her and liked having her around – so much so that he convinced her to move to Miami.
Kyra was always looking for an adventure, and Miami looked like one. She moved in a few blocks from Bryce, and despite her intentions to soak up Miami, they basically spent all their time together.
He wasn’t sure when he fell in love with her.
But he did. Their friendship turned into a friendship with benefits. Then that got complicated with feelings. Then those feelings became more than feelings. And before either knew it, they were irrevocably in love. Despite never wanting to be tied down, they were tied to each other.
Bryce proposed, but it took them over a year to set a date because they were too busy living their crazy lives. They had so many plans – trips they wanted to take, a house they wanted to buy, and kids they might want to have – but they’re finding their way on their adventure.
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Location: Miami, FL
Career: Influencer & Author
Though Kyra enjoyed working at Edenbrook (and really liked making money instead of incurring medical debt), she wouldn’t say that working in hospital administration was her dream.
She became restless, and she traded hospital administration for a series of other jobs.
Kyra started posting more and more on social media, and as she became more comfortable, she started being vulnerable about her health, the scars it left, and how she moved forward. She built a community of people experiencing similar things, and it sparked a passion in her.
Kyra dedicated her time to learning about social media to grow her following and continue sharing resources. A few of her posts went viral, and that was the catalyst to start her career.
After sharing content for a while, Kyra had the opportunity to publish her memoirs – a witty, funny look at her life that was inspiring, hilarious, and beloved by many.
Personal Life:
Kyra didn’t just become restless in her professional life. She also became restless in Boston. She did all the things to do in the city – explored all the crevices and exploited all the excitement. Even though she had been in remission for years, she still craved a full and exciting life.
She started traveling, often to the cities where she had friends who let her crash on their couch.
That’s how she got to Miami.
And how she inadvertently fell in love with Bryce Lahela.
Kyra and Bryce loved their life, and they lived it to the fullest. They took risks. They ate interesting dishes, went to exotic locations, and learned new things. They visited their friends and became the cool aunt and uncle to their families.
Kyra stayed in remission. To celebrate five cancer-free years, she and Bryce got matching buzz-cuts. On the next anniversary, they got matching tattoos.
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Location: Washington D.C.
Career: Diagnostician & Activist
Jackie never intended to become an activist for healthcare reform, but once she stumbled into it, she developed a passion for the work after her unfortunate involvement with Panacea Labs. She even moved to D.C. to pursue lobbying.
She kept working as a diagnostician, but as her involvement in healthcare reform increased, she took a lesser load at the hospital so she could start working as an activist professionally. As a healthcare professional herself, she took her experience and used it to inform her activism and her lobbying to encourage Big Pharma reform.
She also worked with nonprofits to help struggling doctors and med students like herself find resources and emphasize ethics.
A woman on a mission, nothing could stop her.
Personal Life:
Though Jackie found her passion in D.C., she didn’t find the love of her life as easily. She was too busy to make anything work. She stumbled in and out of relationships. Her true companion became her dog and her high-rise apartment.
Jackie might not have been able to maintain a romance, but she maintained her friendships. She visited frequently and adored their children.
She liked being in charge, and she liked having things her way. It probably serves her right to have fallen in love with the only woman more stubborn than her.
Sonia was a public service lawyer, and she and Jackie spent their time bickering and adoring each other. They were both career-driven and supported each other’s mission.
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Location: New York City, NY
Career: Head of Diagnostics
Aurora spent her time in Boston making peace with her aunt’s legacy, but at the end of Aurora’s residency, she was ready to start her career and make a mark of her own.
In New York, she started working for a diagnostics department, and she earned a spot on the diagnostics team once it was formed. She worked hard. She made a name for herself. She proved that Harper wasn’t the only Dr. Emery to keep an eye on.
Once on the team, she helped elevate it to the point that it rivaled her own hospital, Edenbrook. She often came into contact with her friend, MC (Charlie). The teams even competed on occasion.
Aurora beat MC by becoming the first to head a diagnostics team.
She was an excellent leader and an exemplary physician. The team prospered, and the rivalry with Edenbrook playfully continued.
Personal Life:
For Aurora, career and academic efforts came easily, but interpersonal affairs were treacherous. Still, after finding friends in Boston, she was determined to maintain those friendships and develop new ones in New York.
The friends she made in residency were now her family, and she kept in touch.
In New York, Aurora was slow to make friends, but she did. She formed a close bond with her team and shared an apartment with a team member for a time.
Like her aunt, Aurora went without romantic commitment – until she started research with Dr. Alice Montgomery. Aurora fell head over heels, and despite a few stops and starts, they started a happy, healthy relationship.
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Location: Boston, MA → Brazil → Boston, MA
Career: Physical Therapist at Edenbrook
Personal Life
Rafael took the big leap and moved to Brazil. He spent two amazing years living in Brazil, traveling and making unforgettable memories before moving back to Boston.
Once back, he thought about saving up for more travels and spending his young adulthood moving around the globe, but after he got home, he couldn’t bear to leave for that long again. He opted for vacations instead and reinvested in his community.
Leaving his childhood neighborhood didn’t stop him from being an active community member. He volunteered regularly and made friends almost everywhere he went.
Of course, he also went back to his neighborhood to see his family regularly, but he liked having the independence of his own place and his own community.
Once he married and started talking about having children, Raf moved back to his childhood neighborhood so he could raise his child with the same level of community and love he experienced.
When everyone came back into town, they always stopped by his place for good food and an even better friend.
He stayed in touch with everyone, especially during his travels, and his friends had an open invitation to visit.
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potteresque-ire · 3 years
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Hi, I hope you're doing well! I recently read what you shared RE: the risk of being outed for GG/DD & I appreciate your insight. Would you mind sharing your thoughts on the popularity of The Untamed in China, and the production of other BL dramas given the issues of censorship and cultural perceptions of queerness? If dramas with queer subtext are profitable, are those in power willing to "overlook" the queerness as long as it's done in a way that can be plausibly denied? Thanks for your time!
Happy 2021 Anon! I may not be the most qualified to answer the question about popularity, because I feel these answers can only be discerned at the ground level-- ie, I have to live in China, or have to have followed the the developments on China’s social media since the airing of the series. Because of time limitations, I’ve been satisfying my curiosity about the cultural aspects surrounding The Untamed and BJYX mainly by scouring the internet for news, social commentaries and opinion pieces. This weekend is the first time I do more than observe and interact  directly with fans of the series and the pairings. :)
Re: censorship, and the government’s response to the onslaught of “adapted” BL dramas (“dangai”). Here’s my admittedly still very limited knowledge so far. First of all, I think it’s important to emphasise that there are three censorship issues surrounding these dramas:
1) the original works from which the dramas are adapted, which are often called IP (Intellectual property). These stories are published online, and therefore bypass the censorship board  
2) the queer / BL elements of these works, in word form
3) how the queer / BL elements are handled when they are adapted for TV, which has its own set of censorship rules.
International fans often focus on 2) and 3).  1), however, is the one that I believe has got the most attention from the government — it’s a flaw in the country’s tightly-controlled speech environment. Millennials are avid IP readers; IPs are also very popular among overseas Chinese readers (ie, they can be effective propaganda tools).
I’m not sure if this is common knowledge among its international fandom, but this is something I think all Untamed fans should know:
In 2020 November, the author of MDZS, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) (real name: Yuan Yimei 袁依楣, was sentenced for “illegal business operation (非法經營) ”. The details of the sentence — including if she’s found guilty or not — was not disclosed (Reminder that China isn’t a transparent country). According to insiders, MXTX was sentenced to three years imprisonment, + 400,000 RMB (~61,227 USD) in fines. (Sorry, can’t find a good English link)
(This is yet another example of China’s lack of transparency.) (For reference: the conviction rate in China’s judicial system is 99.93% in China in 2013, and 99.97% in 2018 and 2019.)
News of her arrest first spread in August 2019 (when The Untamed aired). At the time, Jinjiang, the site where her works were hosted, denied being under any investigations related to her. Still, fans continued to be suspicious as MXTX was known to be very good at advertising her works, creating merchandise etc. She hadn’t updated her site since February 2019 and remained quiet through the airing of the Untamed, when most authors would ‘ve said something, especially considering the series’ popularity.
What does it mean by “Illegal business”? Some says it means publishing their works without going through publishing houses. This has been a common practice among IP writers; all publishing houses in China are licensed through the General Administration of Press and Publication  (GAPP) and have the rights to screen / censor / ban and so, to bypass publishing houses is to bypass the censorship apparatus. Some says it is a cover for her selling pornographic material. MXTX isn’t the first BL author to get jail time. Since 2017, there have been, for example, Tian Yi 天一 and Shen Hai Xian Cheng 深海先生. Some are charged for selling pornography, some also for “illegal business operations”. 深海先生 was considered to be the first BL author imprisoned for her work (she got a 4 year sentence). In 天一’s case, the author and the owner of the printing shop both got a 10-year sentence. The cover artists got a 4-year sentence. The internet shop owner who sold the books got ten month sentence. They sold 7000 books total. 
Was it the pornography that hits a nerve of the Chinese government? The queerness in the pornography? The bypassing publishing houses? No one really knows for sure. The co-sentencing of the printer and seller seems to suggest the issue is with the illegal publishing, but that, again, is a common practice. So is writing BL. If no one knows what hits a nerve, it means…no one knows how to avoid it for sure.
What people do know is this: The rights to adapt MXTX’s Tian Guan Ci Fu (天官賜福) into Donghua was sold for 40 million RMB (6.1 million USD) in 2018 July. Her arrest and sentencing have not deterred the airing and popularity of the donghua, or the preparation of the live-action drama. Not only has The Untamed been highly profitable, THE China’s state newspaper, People’s Daily 人民日報 (Overseas version), dedicated an article in praise of the series, which is considered a very high honour. The article focused on the series’ artistic direction and brushed over the dangai element, described LWJ as WWX’s best friend. 
The messages from the state have therefore been mixed and inconsistent. It seems to approve of the TV series but isn’t happy with the source material, which seems to support the hypothesis that as long as the romance in the original work is modified into “socialist brotherhood” (what fans of these dramas calls the modified relationship), the government is okay with these adapted BL series. However, plausible denial from the production team isn’t the same as perception from the audience, and the temporary ban on The Guardian 鎮魂 (2018), which many would call the predecessor of The Untamed as the first popular adapted BL series, seems to suggest that the censorship board would still move to remove the drama from the shelves if the audience decides that the central relationship is queer. As far as I can tell, The Untamed didn’t generate a lot of noise before its airing, and the production team never tried to sell the drama as a thinly veiled BL — in fact, it did the opposite, intentionally or not; the rumour that Wen Qing would be paired with WWX (which, according to the unofficial BTS, seemed to be a backup plan) enraged the book fans, but also provided an impression that the BL element could be completely eliminated from the product. So, when the article from People’s Daily came out within the first few days of the series’s broadcast, it could describe the relationship between LWJ and WWX a simple friendship without irony.
This isn’t true anymore with the adapted BL dramas currently in the works. They are hotly anticipated, and internet is already filled with articles describing their BL element, and the beautiful men who will/may play the leads and what these leads have done in the original IP (that has mostly bypassed the state’s censorship board). The most likely series to challenge The Untamed in terms of popularity, Immortality 皓衣行, is already building its cp (“couple”), and is doing so for both the characters and the actors. Leaked photos not only show the leads touching each other, arranging each other’s costumes etc etc on set, but them wearing couple necklaces and matching brands of clothes off work.
(The title of an article says: even BJYX didn’t do that.)
This strategy works in that it generates buzz, successfully captures the attention (and ire, in some cases) of The Untamed fans who the marketing teams see as the target audience. I’m not sure how well or long the state can tolerate this kind of “advertisements”, however, because the underlying message is this: the “socialist brotherhood” is a joke to fool the censorship board, which isn’t a message a regime so intent on demonstrating its might wants to hear. Assuming that the economic health of c-ent isn’t in such shambles that these dramas are its only hope of avoiding financial ruin, and if I must put in a guess — there have honestly been too many logic-defying policies by the Xi regime to make educated guesses — I’d imagine, after a series or two, one of the well-respected state media will call out on these publicity stunts. Depending on how harsh the critique is (and how well the already aired dramas fare), it may put an at least temporary hold on those that haven’t been aired.
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gffa · 4 years
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TAKING A CLOSER LOOK AT THE JEDI ORDER IN STAR WARS CANON [A Meta/Reference Guide on AO3] aka, SO WHAT DO THE JEDI SAY AND DO IN THE ACTUAL CANON? Previously on gffa Is A Nerd:  I’ve done reference posts on the Jedi Temple before, but so much of it was Legends and a bunch more canon has come out since that I wanted to focus on a post about what we’ve been given about the Jedi Order in canon!  While we never actually get that much about them (seriously, it’s a handful of comics, games, and books, even The Clone Wars was really light on actual Jedi worldbuilding) there’s finally enough that I wanted to collate it as much as I could. Another goal is that it’s often hard for me to distill out what is actually true of them in the source material vs my own assumptions or what is said to be canon when Lucasfilm’s story has actually never said any such thing or what I’ve read in so many fics that I forget it’s not actually canon.  This is no judgement on those assumptions or bits of fanon, many of them are ones I whole-heartedly embrace! But this time I wanted to create something of a master post about what the Jedi have said, done, and taught in the canon (though, expect it to always be something of a work in progress, as new content is always being added or I hunt down something I hadn’t yet finished) or what Word of God commentary has said about them, because I find them endlessly fascinating and enjoy seeing what my assumptions about them are versus what actually goes on! This is a master list focused specifically on Canon, so Legends is a separate continuity from this.  Partially this is because I enjoy Canon, partially because this is Lucasfilm’s property and they get to define the rules, partially because George Lucas’ view on the old expanded universe was that it was separate from his Star Wars. “There’s this notion that everything changed when everything became Legends.  And I can see why people think that.  But, you know, having worked with George, I can tell you that it was always very clear–and he made it very clear–that the films and the TV shows were the only things he considered canon.  That was it.” –Dave Filoni, The Star Wars Show, speaking of working with George Lucas ”I don’t read that stuff. I haven’t read any of the novels. I don’t know anything about that world. That’s a different world than my world.” –George Lucas, on how the old EU was not canon to his Star Wars Which means that many commonly referenced elements that are often assumed to be Canon are not.  For example, the concept of the Jedi being kicked out at the age of 13 was brought up in the Jedi Apprentice books (which started in 1999, before Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith existed) and have not been referenced anywhere in Canon.   They’ve been contradicted by Legends (there was a 17 year old Padawan in The Way of the Jedi who did not appear to fear aging out) and has also been contradicted by Canon (Ahsoka was 14 when we met her, Caleb was 13 when he became a Padawan, but was described as “too young” for it normally, but the war had forced everything to accelerate). Canon vs Legends is relatively simple to tell–most anything that was published before April 25th, 2014 is NOT canon, most anything published after IS canon.  There are some guide books that will have a Legends disclaimer in the back despite being set after the date, the role-playing books appear to not be canon, the mobile games exist in kind of a limbo as I’ve never seen any yea or nay on them, and some require judgement from the audience–ie, LEGO Star Wars is probably not going to be canon, I think it’s safe to say!  But most serious stories released after that date are part of the tapestry, which often does reintroduce elements (like Thrawn being reintroduced in Rebels or Bant Eerin in An Obi-Wan & Anakin Adventure) but only what appears in those specific stories is canon, not their previous histories in Legends. This master post will be broken down into seven sections, grouped together as best I can! SECTION 1 - HOW THE FORCE WORKS SECTION 2 - JEDI CULTURE & PHILOSOPHY & TEACHINGS SECTION 3 -  JEDI AS A PEOPLE SECTION 4 - PSYCHIC SPACE WIZARDS DOING PSYCHIC SPACE WIZARD THINGS SECTION 5 - JEDI TEMPLES SECTION 6 - JEDI AND THE BIGGER GALAXY SECTION 7 - EVERYTHING ELSE (REAL WORLD ANALYSIS + OTHER NOTES) Hopefully, this will be interesting and fun to look over for anyone who’s into this kind of thing!  This is not a value judgement on the worthiness of Legends elements, as I enjoy many Legends things, too.  This is not an attempt to control what other people enjoy putting into their fic or treating as part of the tapestry of their Star Wars or talking about!  Merely this is “what is part of the canon as we move forward with Star Wars” and a fun exercise in shedding my own assumptions about what the Jedi have actually said and done themselves. I’ve done my best to organize things into groupings that help show consistent themes with the Jedi, as well as sourced things as best I can.  I always encourage people to read the source material for yourself, as any  second-hand telling of things is going to be imperfect, no matter how much I worked to stick largely to just quoting the material!
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adultswim2021 · 2 years
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Space Ghost Coast to Coast #33: “Woody Allen's Fall Project” | December 25, 1996 | S03E15
What makes Space Ghost Space Ghost is episodes like this. “Woody Allen's Fall Project”, hosted by James Kirkconnell (itself a reference to Story Book House) is the clip-show that is gratuitously NOT a clip show, but a re-enactment show. Here we are treated to live-action re-enactments of several Space Ghost shows, including Bobcat, Girlie Show, Freak Show, Hungry, and Banjo. We also have a number of Space Ghost staffers playing various roles in live-action. Andy Merrill plays Space Ghost, which he often did on Cartoon Planet in little wacky live-action segments, (as well as in the original 1993 pilot, voice-only).
As guests we have PA Sean Gooden playing Bobcat Goldthwait (nails it), Don Kennedy as Bill Manspeaker (hilariously doesn't nail it, but is wonderful), Talent Coordinator Isabel Gonzalez as Fran Drescher (she's also the babe on the bus in Jacksonville, according to the DVD commentary! MY LOVE), and a MYSTERIOUS fella by the name of Rex Bullion as Weird Al Yankovick. Everyone is great in their own way. Also you got Dave Willis doing a very weird voice for Zorak (and Raymond!) and Scott Lipe as Michael Stipe, hey that rhymes, I assume!
This one runs 18 minutes, and it sounds like they wanted to make an attempt to cut it down to make time and they were going to cut Isabel Gonzalez's segments and nobody had the heart to tell her so they just didn't cut anything. That rules, because she is beautiful, and I wish she were on camera at all times. I wish she was Zorak and I was Raymond if you know what I mean.
I nearly forgot to point this out, which is IMPORTANT, and the commentary track also almost forgets to point this out: the reason this episode exists is that it’s a parody of E! Network’s O.J. Simpson murder trial re-enactments. They mention that they got a CHEER! and not a JEER! in Cheers and Jeers for TV Guide. I actually think I read that at the time because we subscribed to TV Guide and I remember reading it really regularly at this time. ANYWAY, E! couldn’t film the trial so they just re-enacted the proceedings based on court transcripts. They did the same thing with Michael Jackson in the early 2000s and cast Jimmy Kimmel as Jay Leno. Why we don’t have a deluxe DVD box set of both trial re-enactments I’ll never know. An entire Pluto TV channel of just highly ephemeral E! Network programs needs to happen. Howard Stern! Wild On! Talk Soup! That show that just showed movie trailers for 30 minutes! I need it!
Okay! That's it! I hope this week wasn't total dogshit but I actually enjoyed doing this! So when we get done with 2006 we'll charge into Space Ghost season 4, which is 24 episodes! SHEESH! That's so much more! And if all goes to plan, we'll kick off 2006 Adult Swim TONIGHT at the usual time (11:30PM Eastern, 8:30PM Pacific; cuz a long time ago I decided regular posts should publish at 11:30PM Pacific but didn't know my blog was somehow set to Eastern, so everything publishes at 8:30PM my time. Whoops!
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micromanclub · 3 years
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Yuuichi Higuchi interview
(translated from Volume 6 of the digital version of Yoshihiro Moritou's Microman manga anthology available on BookWalker)
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■ Image sketch of Microman Arm System (working name) by Mr. Higuchi. Each part is connected by five-part jointed arms, and each part can move flexibly. It is said that the development was canceled due to problems with strength, even though a prototype was made. Mr. Higuchi provided us with this new illustration of the concept. (Editor)
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The Era of Microman
Can you tell us the original point of contact between Mr. Higuchi (with Design Mate) and "TV Magazine"?
"In terms of Takara's work, I have been sketching products since the launch, so I believe design for the product advertisement page was my first relationship. In addition to "Microman", I was in charge of some of the advertisements for "MagneRobo Steel Jeeg" and so on. After that, development of Microman articles started with TV Magazine, and I was in charge of the layout of those pages. I think that would have been my first point of contact with the editorial department of TV Magazine. "
How did you get involved?
"The editorial department asked me to lay out the illustrations. In other words, the design of the look and feel including sketches of the illustrations drawn by Masami Watanabe.
I remember receiving an order like "We want to make the magazine a little more powerful ..."
In 1977, when the article serialization began in TV Magazine, what kind of position did Mr. Higuchi participate in "Microman"?
"Until then, the main packages, catalogs, and pamphlets were done by Sugawara (lead designer / current president of Design Mate at the time), and I was in charge of sketchwork, but I decided to take over everything including the graphics I was doing since then. This would have been right when Microman Command started in 1977.
So, to put it in an extreme way, it was a time when I was doing everything related to Microman. I wasn't just designing and painting, I was doing it all including photos for the catalogs, so I was so busy that I could hardly go home (laughs). I was in my twenties at the time, so I think I managed to get through at a young age. "
Thank you very much for your hard work! To what extent did you design the article page?
"Full color promo spreads as well as the "Microman Club" segments. Within Microman Club, we also selected the reader-submitted postcards. At that time, I really received a lot of postcards. Regarding the spreads, it was almost the first time to work on such a magazine, but I thought that I had to make it competitive with the other pages....Mori-san's (Yoshihiro Moritou's) manga was also extremely detailed. ”
Microman special one-shot magazine "Magazine Zero Zero", which was sold as a set with Microman Command No. 3 (or Lady Command), was also a product of this period. It is said that not only it gave a full view of MicroEarth, but also the lifestyle is shown...
"" Magazine Zero Zero " started at the request of Mr. Ogawa (Iwakichi Ogawa), head of Microman development at the time at Takara, but the idea of ​​the page layout and contents is my doing.
We did it with the total mobilization of the company. I also drew illustrations. By the way, the fashion corner of Micro Earth was created assuming that girls would buy Lady Command."
Following "Magazine Zero Zero", TV Magazine Special Edition Volume Microman Book (published on November 15, 1977), TV Magazine Color Book 2 , "The Definitive Edition of Microman Encyclopedia" (published on August 25, 1978) and Microman's other publications would be released one after another. These were good memories, right?
"In 1978, the development of "Timanic" began, and the following two years were a really rich time."
In the Rescue Squad series developed in 1979, the character of Mr. Moritou are drawn in the catalog...
"This is exactly what we aimed for: a synergistic effect with Mr. Moritou's manga. At this time, his art for Microman was widespread. "MFC (Microman Fan Club)" was made around the same time. Mori-san also illustrated the newsletter of "MFC"; the TV Magazine Microman Club column section was ending, so this meant Takara wiould create the official fan club. It all started with that. I used to go to his house to pick up Mr. Morito's illustrations, but he was very enthusiastic about his work, so I often had to wait (grins). Mr. Mori's uncompromising attitude was very impressive. ”
The end of the 1970s was when Design Mate started working on mechanical design for TV animation.
"That's right. When we were doing work other than product design, we were particularly focused on "Cyborg 009" (Hiroshi Onishi), "Daltanius" (Sugawara), "Tanser 5" (Higuchi), etc. in 1979. Personally, "Ideon" (1980) is the most memorable. I also drew a lot of posters and illustrations. Certainly around the time of "Ideon". When I was invited to (anime studio) Sunrise's year-end party at that time, Kunio Okawara and I took the return train together. At that time, I remember that Okawara-san praised me, "Higuchi-san does very nice realistic illustration."
What kind of involvement have you had with "Microman" since the Rescue team members?
"I had been involved up to halfway through the "New Microman" line that started in 1981, and I hadn't touched it since the start of the "Micro Change Series." In recent years, I have been cooperating with the replica series, "Magnepowers Microman", and the "Micro Force" series currently being developed. Recently, through "Microman," I have had many opportunities to work with creators who are younger than me. At that time, I am reminded of how much what I have done still affects people (grins). I could now appreciate the hard work I used to do back then.
Published (October 10, 2003 / Recorded at Design Mate)
Yuichi Higuchi
Born July 13, 1957, from Niigata Prefecture.
The works that Design Mate Co., Ltd. were involved with included "Science Adventure Corps Tancer 5", "Legendary Giant Ideon", "Galaxy Cyclone Braiger", and "Wonder Beat S".
Currently still active as chief director.
Also responsible for "Acrobunch" and many others.
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Here is a full translation of the interview featured in Max Magazine.
Original text by Andreas Wrede
This was a lot of work so PLEASE don’t post this elsewhere without credit. 
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This story with and about Christoph Waltz is a story coming full circle. A little more than 3 decades ago, a small group of editors and photojournalists, graphic artists and authors started developing the pilot for the first German issue of MAX, made possible by Dirk Manthey, the publisher from Hamburg’s Milchstraße, who knew the magazine from Italy, France and Greece. And who made me the founding-editor in chief. Three decades later, the derivative is released, thanks to publisher Max Iannucci. In 1990, Christoph Waltz was in an episode of “Der Alte”, among other things before he played the torn schlager music star Roy Black in “Du bist nicht allein – Die Roy Black Story” – but we will get to that later.
Now Christoph Waltz is an award-winning, internationally known actor, who won two Oscars for best supporting actor. That is unique for a German-speaking actor. Born in Vienna in 1956, he now lives in Los Angeles – if you want to play a role in Hollywood, literally, you must be present in Los Angeles. And during our conversation in a red, furry saloon of the legendary hotel Sacher in Vienna, he emphasizes, “Hollywood is always the goal”.  
The place is very fitting, considering Christoph Waltz grew up in Vienna, in a family that cultivated a great affinity for the work on stage for two generations. He says laconically, “You grow into a thing, you grow up with it, and thus, you acquire a familiarity early on, which you’d otherwise have to conquer with a lot more effort.” He often went to the movies from an early age on, but he spent even more time at the opera. “When I had time and had finished my homework, I enjoyed going to the opera.” Back then, a standing room ticket cost about ten Schilling, just a few cents in today’s currency. Little Christoph loved smuggling into the fascinating, secretive opera house.
Later he attended famous acting schools like the Max Reinhardt Seminar or Lee Strasberg’s Actors Studio with significantly less pleasure. “I didn’t like attending acting schools. They didn’t exactly broaden my horizon.” Christoph Waltz hardly found them inspiring. And when he received offers for movies and theater, he accepted them “instead of dealing and struggling with teachers”. He says this with few gestures and in an almost reporting tone, he has always trusted the energies inherent in him. He had his TV debut in “Der Einstand”, where he played a teenage delinquent. That was fitting, considering he continued playing roles which were different, unexpected, and specific, or roles he filled differently, unexpectedly, and specifically.
Christoph Waltz remembers his beginnings as an actor in the 70s a little wistfully. “There were still movies on TV, which were made as movies for television, as one dramatic entity.” Or when there used to be directors like the great Federico Fellini, who was “very, very specifically Italian in everything he did.” Christoph Waltz continues: “And because of this specificity he was able to reach so many people.” A phenomenon like Fellini is marked by obstinacy, nonconformity, and distinct individuality. However, some significant conditions also irritated Christoph Waltz, for instance, when he was hired for the Krzysztof-Zanussi-film “Leben für Leben” in 1991. “I wasn’t adequately informed about the conditions and backgrounds. And so, I found myself – surpsised – in front of a camera in Auschwitz.” How does one react to something like that? “Today, I would know how to react”, he stresses thoughtfully, “but today, that would be due to the self-confidence I acquired over the past years. Back then I felt: Now I’ve been hired for this film.” Alright, he adds, one grows through experience, some conflicts are worth going through. “It helps building character.”
Was the decision to play Roy Black a crystal clear one? Not at all, he responds smiling and closes his eyes for a second. “When my agent called me about it, my spontaneous reaction was: Complete humbug, and I can’t even listen to this music for three seconds.” It only became interesting for him when he learned that Roy Black originally wanted to play Rock ‘n’ Roll. Then he became interested in the tragedy of this character. And the thought that Roy Black’s wish was the desire for freedom and wildness, a wish many Germans shared, “which was inherent in the promising American machinery.” Although this freedom and wildness had always existed in Germany, lived out by people like Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, or Kandinsky.
“The film itself was great, but the marketing-weisenheimers managed to break this film. It would be a great cine film, but they advertised it as a sob story for television. Consequently, the real Roy-Black fans were disappointed, while the people who might have been interested in the movie judged: Leave me alone with this sob story twerp. Well, the weisenheimers are the weisenheimers, what can you do”, deems Christoph Waltz with a beautiful touch of Viennese sarcasm and barely noticeable risen eyebrows. One does not always have to instrumentalize the entire acting equipment with him. A few little cues are enough.
Many more films follow before someone calls from Hollywood and say he is supposed to participate in Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds. In our interview he calls this his “Quentin-jump”, where he is at eye level with Diane Kruger, Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender in front of the camera. “Tarantino, we mentioned this before, stands for specificity and authenticity, he has an eye for both.” Did Christoph Waltz go into this production with a lot of respect? “With great respect.” He remembers an encounter with Sylvester Groth in front of a theatre in Babelsberg. “Every Thursday, Quentin showed movies during preparation. Once, Sylvester and I stood in front of the theatre and we both said: Imagine this, now we’ve been doing this for so long and suddenly we find ourselves here.” Then we paused for a few moments and kept going: Yes, and despite everything, we’re doing what we’ve always done – what we do, because that is what we do.”
Before Tarantino’s office could call again, other international projects followed, like The Green Hornet (with Cameron Diaz, Tom Wilkinson, James Franco) or Carnage (with Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, John C. Reilly). Then Django Unchained (with Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L. Jackson). For his role in Django Unchained, Christoph Waltz wins his second Oscar for best supporting actor in 2013 and Quentin wins another one for best original screenplay. But Christoph Waltz remains humble: “The opportunities presented to someone for personal growth always come to you through other people.” Although the actor always makes a binary decision. “Yes or no. Am I going to do it or not.”
Can one also make the wrong decision? “You decide for one or the other and from that other possibilities develop, but neither is better or worse.” That was not any different for Quentin Tarantino or for his first film and its director Reinhard Schwabenitzky, who saw him in acting school. Christoph Waltz leans forward and says confidentially: “The essential chances and opportunities were those which were presented to me by another mind, by a great talent, through a vision, which came from another person.” Nothing more, nothing less.
Yes, humility is a virtue. But we do not want to conceal the fact that Christoph Waltz was the first German-speaking host on Saturday Night Live and that he received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (No. 2536, 6667 Hollywood Boulevard). The quote: “And Hollywood is always the goal.” Is correct, “like others say their goal is to get into heaven.” Hollywood, heaven: “I don’t mean to compare the two goals, but the setting of these goals. Especially Hollywood has been mythologized into more than it deserves credit for.” In this respect, as a myth, it is always the goal. Please don't tell anyone Christoph Waltz is over-the-top - the opposite is the case.
During our exchange in the Sacher, I mention one of my favorite books on film. It is Peter Biskind’s Easy Riders, Raging Bulls – How the Sex-Drugs-And-Rock’n’roll Generation saved Hollywood. It says: „There is no worse career move in Hollywood than dying. Hal Ashby is now largely forgotten, because he had the misfortune to die at the end of the 80’s, but he had the most remarkable run of any ’70 director. After ‚The Landlord‘, in 1970, he made ‚Harold and Maude‘, ‚The Last Detail‘, ‚Shampoo‘, ‚Bound for Glory‘, ‚Coming Home‘ and ‚Being there‘ in 1979, before his career disappeared into the dark tunnel of post-‘70’s, Me Decade Drugs and paranoia.“
It can be assumed that this won’t happen to Christoph Waltz? “That is a good example for the mythologizing I was referring to”, he responds. “I would claim that a legend like James Dean probably wouldn’t have developed at all, had he not driven himself to death in his Porsche at such a young age. Who knows what would have become of Marilyn Monroe, had she not put an early end to her complicated life.” And parallel to Hal Ashby, there probably were thousands of directors, who would have been happy to pay their next rent – by working in their profession. It is therefor about comparativeness.
Onto another career step, the James Bond movie Spectre, in which Christoph Waltz portrays the dark Blofeld, a character, who appeared in previous Bond movies. How do we have to imagine that? One sunny day the agent comes along and says: “You’re on the list for the next Bond movie”? Christoph Waltz knows there are no rules to this, especially when it is something like James Bond. A series that has been at the peak of possibilities for more than 50 years.” The producers have a lot to lose, they have to look very closely. Not only to keep up the standard, they also want to be ahead of their time.
Was it intriguing to play this bad boy a second time? Is it about an additional nuance of expertly irony; is it about the myth that is Bond? “This was another unique opportunity for me”, says Christoph Waltz, “a unique opportunity to include myself into such an incredibly successful series.”  Now after Spectre, for the second time in No Time To Die – a title that can offer a bit of comfort in times of the world wide covid pandemic. And Christoph Waltz is in the Bond movie that will be Daniel Craig’s final Bond. “It’s his fourth Bond movie”, he counts, “the actors change but the role remains the same. Of course, the role acquires a different profile and thus, different facets.” But it remains James Bond. “And when a new actor gets the role, he has to fit into the role, not the other way around.” Once again, we will have to wait for this Bond movie. It will probably hit theatres in spring 2021.
It reminds one of Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida – we’ve seen it a dozen times but keep going to see it again. Nowadays you go to see the production, in the past you went to see whosit faithless. Speaking of productions: Are the demands towards a Bond director more extensive compared to other film projects? “Surely there are more things to keep an eye on compared to a low budget movie or an independent film. In productions like that, you often have to use the tools you have. In Denmark they had demands referring to this “, Christoph Waltz comments in a slightly mocking undertone. He means the group around Lars von Trier? “Precisely, they called it Dogma for fun, and the world took them seriously.” But that is part of it, right, part of the business.
Anyway, every little detail is carefully manufactured for a Bond movie.  And that takes, apart from a lot of money, a great level of expertise and many employees, which combine into a story on film. “Legions of people work on every pixel, not to mention the light and the meaning of the music.” With all this in mind, it’s understandable how appealing it is to be in a movie like No Time To Die. Christoph Waltz has a lot of praise for the director, Cary Fukanaga: “He always knew exactly what he was doing and we knew exactly, why he did this or that”. Audiences were able to see this in previous projects, like the brilliant first season of True Detective, where he directed all eight episodes.
Christoph Waltz wouldn’t be Christoph Waltz if he didn’t show his extraordinary talents in unconventional projects as well, like the show Most Dangerous Game (with Liam Hemsworth, produced for Quibi). “What interested me there? The new dramatic form, it’s a story in 16 sections, each section only eight minutes long. We’re dealing with a new form of storytelling.” Does it remind him of the continuous comics that used to be in US-newspapers a few decades ago?
“Yes, it’s connected to that – but it also reminds me of Charles Dickens, who published many of his novels as newspaper installments. In Most Dangerous Game the great story arch is not lost, the suspense is carried from one episode into the next. “That is a sleight of hand.” And for that he received an Emmy nomination, and it wouldn’t be surprising if he was to win the prestigious award one day. But he pulled off other sleight of hands in the past. Or how the New York Times says in a headline: “Christoph Waltz directing Opera, moves from Tarantino to Verdi.” Adding his old comment to this: “The full-blooded, juicy movie experience has a lot of operatic qualities. I’m not talking about the film music, but about the rhythm and color and phrasing.” After “Der Rosenkavalier” (Music: Richard Strauss, Libretto: Hugo von Hofmannsthal), which he staged at the Antwerp Opera, came Giuseppe Verdi’s “Falstaff”, his second opera there.
“I’m not a fan of the never-seen-before concept”, says Christoph Waltz. He agrees with Susan Sontag’s essay Against Interpretation – in opera, there is a fix story, and the music is the central transmitter of this story. Over-interpretations can quickly become “dangerous sliding tackles.” Waltz wants to avoid those. “I want to show what the composers and authors meant.” He stayed true to Sontag’s principle in all three of his opera productions, the third on being Beethoven’s only opera “Fidelio”.
He is self-critical enough, “to personally take the risk of failing.” What would be the alternative?
“I’m just an actor, now what do the music critics, who take themselves so seriously say? Some foam at the mouth and brawl ‘the movie-bod is interfering in the opera’.” He prefers the critics that are capable of formulating things between the lines. “When I read elsewhere, that the very thing I was trying to convey can be seen in detail, then I’m quietly happy about it.” Sadly, the live performances of Fidelio fell victim to the covid-crisis, but there was a TV-screening on ORF, which can certainly be called presentable with 11% of the market-share.  “During ‘Fidelio’ I first realized physically that music is a spatial experience.” Here fits another Waltz-quote: “Strip away anything that us unnecessary.” Ergo: Reduce the action to the interaction between the characters. That is an art he mastered to perfection in acting.”
For once, I could surprise the cleaned up, chatty, well-tempered Christoph Waltz with a little research.
In his birthyear, 1956, his fellow countryman Walter Felsenstein, founder and artistic director of the “Komische Oper” in Berlin filmed a version of “Fidelio”. To this day, it remains the only film adaptation of the opera. Probably because – so the actor quotes Felsenstein – “this opera technically is impossible to stage”, he says with aplomb, an attitude that suits him. In ballet an aplomb describes the ability to absorb a movement, the balance.
Christoph Waltz not only shoots a lot of movies, but he also enjoys reading one particular movie critic: Anthony Lane of the New Yorker. Surely one of the most sharpened critics, who outtalks someone or rubs the reader’s nose into his alleged ignorance. We start talking about Lane via a new movie by the fabulous Agnieszka Holland, “Mr. Jones” – referring to Gareth Jones, advisor to the former British Prime Minister Lloyd George. Jones uncovers that the devastating hunger crisis in the Ukraine in 1932/33 was exclusively due to Stalin’s exploiting politics. Anthony Lane writes in inimitable fashion: „Is it conceivable that Holland’s bleak, murky, and instructive film could prompt a change of heart in the current Russian establishment, or even a confession of crimes past? Not a chance.“ Greetings from Belarus.
And of course, we also talk about COVID, what does an actor do who can’t act during these times? Is he reading Robert Musil’s novel The Man Without Qualities, which has more than 1000 pages? “Oh, I’ve already attempted to read this three times. The first time, I got to page 200, the second time I got to page 400, the third time I put it away after 100 pages.” But he doesn’t fully abandon the idea of finishing it one day. “But that would really be a true accomplishment of discipline”, he underlines, allusively smiling. Less amusing is the current stagnancy in Hollywood, where Christoph Waltz lives with his wife and daughter for the most part. “It will be illuminating once things pick up again”, he ponders “will a reforming spirit take over, or will everything fall back into the old, ignorant patterns, or even cause worse?” The temporary dysfunctionality of Hollywood is comparable to a dysfunctional family, which mechanisms become especially clear during crisis. Now he visited his mother here in Vienna. I allow myself the question, “Is Vienna your home?” “Vienna is my home, home is something you can’t choose, like your parents. Everything else can become your center of living, all that is willingly moveable – but home, home cannot be changed at will.”
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jadelotusflower · 3 years
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July 2021 Roundup
Discussed this month: The Once and Future King, The Good People, The Secret of Kells/Wolfwalkers/Song of the Sea (aka "Irish Folklore" Trilogy), The Matrix Trilogy, the John Wick Trilogy, Space Jam: A New Legacy
Reading
The Once and Future King (T.H. White) - I've actually read this before, but it was a long time ago and I remembered very little of it so it seemed time for a revisit. Written between 1936 and 1942, this is a surprisingly meta retelling of Arthur and Camelot, very obviously and heavily influenced by WWII, with much academic pondering on the concept of humanity and war and ongoing conflict against Might=Right - looking to the past to try and understand the present. Some familiarity with the legends is assumed, White occasionally making reference to Malory, and there is a strange anachronistic feel - Merlin lives time backwards and talks of Hitler and other 20th Century references, White frequently refers to Old England and the way things were "back then", but also calls Arthur's country Gramarye, the narrative taking place an a kind of alternate history/mythology where Uther was the Norman conqueror of 1066, and yet reference is also made to the Plantagenet kings.
Comprising five volumes (the first four published separately at the time, and the final posthumously), it struck me on this read how each of the first four are structured around the childhood of a major player -Arthur (The Sword in the Stone), Gawain and his brothers (The Witch in the Wood), Lancelot (The Ill-Made Knight), and Mordred (The Candle in the Wind), and how their upbringing played a part in the inevitable tragedy of Camelot. In the final volume, The Book of Merlyn, it comes full circle as Arthur on the eve of his death is taken to revisit the animals of his childhood for much philosophising (at one point Merlyn argues at length with a badger about Karl Marx and communism.)
The Sword in the Stone is the most engaging, with young Arthur (known as "the Wart") and his tutelage under Merlin, being turned into various animals like an ant, a goose, and a hawk to learn about each of their societies (political allegories), and meeting with Robin Wood (Hood) and Maid Marian to battle Morgan le Fay, and the climactic pulling of the sword from the stone. This was of course the source material for the Disney film, although missing the wizards duel with Madam Mim (appearing in the original publication, but removed for the revised version).
The Ill-Made Knight is the longest volume and was honestly a slog to get through, because honestly Lancelot is pretty dull/terrible, and the Lancelot/Guenever love affair less than compelling. Ultimately it's Lancelot's hubris that dooms them - he is warned that Mordred intends to catch him out in Guenever's room, but he goes anyway, and doesn't leave when he tells her to, because he is stupid.
It’s no surprise that the female characters are given the short shrift, but there’s an uncomfortable vein of misogyny running through the book. To wit:
Elaine had done the ungraceful thing as usual. Guenever, in similar circumstances, would have been sure to grow pale and interesting - but Elaine had only grown plump.
And then later:
Guenever had overdressed for the occasion. She had put on makeup which she did not need, and put it on badly. She was forty-two.
Morgause (the eponymous witch in the wood/queen of air and darkness) is a negligent mother whose sole motivation is revenge, Elaine rapes Lancelot by deception, Guenever is hypocritical and shrill (but achieves a sliver of nuance in Candle), Nimueh is a nonentity, and Morgan le Fey is a monstrous fairy. If only White had turned his academic pondering inward and in order to examine the role of women in his worldview other than as damsels or instigators.
But Arthur also gets the short shrift - after all the focus in his childhood, he becomes almost a peripheral figure in the rest of the story until the very end, and we're not actually given much to show why he is the once and future king, other than that he tries to institute a slightly less brutal system.
Ultimately, White is more interested in philosophy than character, and so Camelot's inevitable tragedy feels more clinical than visceral.
The Good People (Hannah Kent) - If the Irish Folklore Trilogy (discussed below) is the beauty and wonder of Irish myths and legends interacting with the human world, this book is the cold danger of superstition and the devastating affect of folklore used as an explanation for life's ills. Set in 1820's rural Ireland, Nora is widowed and left with the care of her young disabled grandson Michael, believed to be a changeling. The local wise woman Nance, who feels the touch of "the good people" sets about to drive out the fairy from the child, believing that the "real" Michael will return, much to the growing dread of Mary, the teenage girl Nora has hired to care for him.
Here fairies are seen as a malevolent force, "sweeping" away women and children, causing bad harvests, and bringing death to the village - to be respected and feared. And then there's Nance, bartering traditional cures for ailments and troubles - some work, some do not, and some pose great danger. On the other hand, this is a remote village where a doctor must be fetched from Killarney, and only one priest who is less than charitable. Neither provide any help or support to Nora.
SPOILERS It's an upsetting read dealing with dark subject matter - grief trauma, child abuse and accidental infanticide, a kind of slow burn horror. If it takes a village to to raise a child, it also takes one to kill a child, as mounting fear and superstition moves through the population like a contagion, heightening Nora's desperation for the "return" of her grandson, and Nance's to prove her knowledge. It's an impeccably researched novel (based in part on a true event) but very unsettling - poor Michael is never really given humanity, and I feel this book would be hugely triggering in its depiction of disability and neurodivergence.
Watching
The Secret of Kells/Song of the Sea/Wolfwalkers (dir. Tom Moore) - I've been meaning to watch these films for absolutely ages, and I finally got to them this month. I’m pleased to say that the many people who recommended them to me were absolutely correct, because they appear to have been made to specifically cater to my interests. Some mild spoilers ahead.
I watched these in internal chronological order as suggested by @ravenya003, starting with The Secret of Kells, set in 9th Century Ireland where the young monk Brendan helps illuminate the to-be famous manuscript and befriends a forest sprite Aisling, under the threat of a Viking raid. Next was Wolfwalkers, jumping forward to 1650 Kilkenny where the English girl Robyn, daughter of a hunter, is drawn into the world of the forest and Mebh, who turns into a wolf when she sleeps. And finally we go all the way to 1980's in Song of the Sea for the story of Ben, who must help his younger sister Saoirse (a selkie) find her voice and bring back the faeries who have been turned to stone by the owl witch Macha.
Although the stories are completely separate, they've been described as Moore's "Irish Folklore" trilogy, and it’s easy to read a through line from Kells to Wolfwalkers in particular - both deal with fae of the forest, and Aisling appears as a white wolf at the end of the film (having lost her ability to appear in human form). I like to think that Aisling is in some way the progenitor of the wolfwalkers - after all, Kells and Kilkenny are less than 200 kms apart.
Song of the Sea is distant from the other two in both time and subject matter, dealing with selkies, creatures of the water. In many ways, Kells and Wolfwalkers feels like a duology, with Song more its own thing. On the other hand, an argument could be made for common fae spirit/s in different forms across all three films - Aisling is a white sprite, Robyn takes the form of a white/grey wolf, and Saoirse a white seal.
The strength of these films other than the folklore is the visual style - I really love 2D animation, and while I appreciate the beauty of cg animation, I often find in the latter’s focus on hyper-realism the artistry can be left by the wayside. These films not just aesthetically beautiful, but the art is used to tell the story - from the sharp angles that represent the darker or harmful elements (Crom, Vikings, the Town), to the circles and rings that represent safety and harmony (the Abbey, the forest, Mebh and her mother/the wolves healing circle, the holy well). The exception is probably the home of Macha, the owl witch, where circles are also prominent and represent magic, and this is often the case in folklore (fairy rings, fairy forts, etc).
Kells is the most stylised, resembling tapestries or pages and triptychs from medieval manuscripts, playing with perspective. I actually saw pages from the real Book of Kells years ago in Dublin, and remember them being very beautiful. We only get glimpses of the Book and the stunning Chi Rho page at the very end of the film, but the style of art is present throughout the film and particularly in the forest where Brendan finds inspiration for his illumination, and on the flipside his encounter in the dark with Crom Cruach, represented as a chalk-drawn primordial serpent.
This style is also present in Wolfwalkers, particularly stark in the way the birds-eye grid of the town often looms over Robyn in the background and in her work at the castle. The depiction of the forest has more of a storybook quality however, as does Song, where almost every frame resembles a painting, particularly the sequences of Saoirse's selkie trip through the sea and Ben's fall through the holy well.
Rav points out in her review that there is the ebbing away of myth and magic in each successive film, contrasted with the rise of Christianity/modernity. But there's circles and rings again, because while the ultimate power of the faerie world is fading away, the interaction between our human protagonists and faerie actually increases with each film. In Kells, we have only Aisling and Crom, in Wolkwalkers, we have Mebh and her mother whose ranks grow to include Robyn and her father, and finally in Song we have Saoirse, Bronagh, Macha, the Na Daoine Sídhe, and the Great Seanachaí.
Watching in the order I did, it does give the impression of the mythological world opening up to the viewer, gaining a deeper understanding and exposure as time progressed. On the other hand, that is also because the human world is gradually encroaching on the world of Faerie, from isolated settlements like the Abbey of Kells, to growing town of Kilkenny and the logging of the surrounding forest, to a modern Ireland of motorways and power lines, and industrialised Dublin where the remaining fairies have moved underground. It makes the climax of Song, with the fairies restored but returning to the land of Tír na nÓg, rather bittersweet.
I also credit the strength of the voice acting - the adult roles are minor but with greats including the dulcet tones of Brendan Gleeson and Sean Bean, and the ethereal Maria Doyle Kennedy (who I wish had gotten to do more). But the child roles are all performed so well, particularly Honor Kneafsey as Robyn, whose growing desperation and distress is just heartbreakingly palpable.
The Matrix Trilogy (dir. The Wachowskis) - I usually don't post rewatches in the Roundup, but I really, really love these movies. I will never forget seeing The Matrix at the cinema as a young teen, knowing nothing other than the tease of the enigmatic trailers, and just being completely blown away by it, and then becoming completely obsessed a few years later in the leadup to Reloaded.
It wasn’t my first fandom, but it was probably the first time I took fandom seriously. I was very invested in Neo/Trinity in particular as well as all the mythological/literary references that fed directly into my interests. I haven’t however gone back and read the fic I wrote, for fear that it is very, very cringe. I know where is is though, so maybe one day before the ff.net is purged.
This is Keanu Reeves at his most handsome, and while he doesn't have the greatest range (as many actors don't, although they don't get as much grief for it), when he's in the zone there's no one else who could do it better. He just has a Presence, you know? A vibe, and it compels me.
This is particularly present in Neo, a character whose conflict is almost entirely internal, burdened by the weight of his responsibility and destiny, both before and after he learns it is a false prophesy. He’s not your typical quippy macho action hero, but much like my other fave Luke Skywalker, is a character who is ultimately driven by love and self-sacrifice. I definitely have a Type of male hero I adore, and Neo fits right in there.
I also really love the sequels, flaws and all, because you know what, the Wachowskis had Ideas and they weren't going to deliver Matrix 2: Electric Boogaloo. Each film goes in an unexpected direction, and not in a subverted expectations ha ha silly rabbits way, but one that does have an internal logic and pulls together a cohesive trilogy as a whole, and how often does that happen these days?
The sequels are so…earnest, with none of the cynical cool detachment perhaps some would have preferred - at its core a trilogy exploring philosophy and the nature of prophesy vs choice, determinism vs free will, and the power of love. Maybe it can be hokey, and some of the dialogue a bit overwritten, but I don't care, there's so much I still enjoy even having seen the trilogy many times over the years.
Not to mention the great female characters - while I'm not sure any of the three strictly passes the Bechdel Test, we have Trinity and Niobe in particular who I love with all my heart. It does kind of annoy me that the Trinity Syndrome is so named, because it only applies in the most reductive reading possible, and Trinity expresses agency (and badassery) every step of the way, saving Neo just as much as he saves her. I mean..."dodge this"/"in five minutes I'll tear that whole goddamn building down"/"believe it"? Niobe piloting the Hammer through the mechanical line in Revolutions? Iconic. There are criticisms that can be made, sure, but the trilogy ultimately loves, respects, and appreciates its female characters (and important to note that the avatars of The System, the Architect and the Agents, are all white men).
Then we have the Oracle, who ultimately holds the most power and is the victor of the human/machine war. There's so much going on with the Oracle I could talk about it all day. It's that fate vs free will question again (“if you already know, how can I make a choice?”), but with the wrinkle of manipulation (“would you still have broken it if I hadn’t said anything?”). Choice is the foundation the Matrix is built on, the unconscious choice for humans to accept the system or reject it - the Architect can't control that, he can only manage it, and the Oracle can't force Neo onto the path she has set out for him, only predict the choices he will make based on her study of the human psyche ("did you always know?"/"No...but I believed"). But she plays with the concept of fate in a complicated web of prophesies for outcome she wants and trusting the nature of Morpheus, Trinity, and Neo to bring it about.
And then there's the visual storytelling - there is so much meaning in almost every frame and line of dialogue. The mirroring and ring cycles not only in the constant presence of reflective surfaces and central metaphor of the Matrix as a simulacrum, but the androgyny of Neo and Trinity, bringing each other back from the dead in successive films (and ultimately both ultimately dying in the third), Neo and Morpheus’ first and last meetings, Smith who is ultimately Neo’s dark mirror, the Oracle/the Architect, just to name a few. I just…really really love these movies? Maybe I’ll do a full post rewatch sometime.
I am however reserving judgement on the Matrix 4 - already there are a few things making me uneasy. Lana is the sole director for this one (Lilly is not involved), and Laurence Fishburne apparently wasn't even asked back, even though Morpheus actually survives the trilogy (as opposed to Neo and Trinity). But I’m interested, and don’t want to go in with any expectations, but rather ready to be surprised again like I was when I watched the first film (and hope I can stay away from spoilers).
John Wick Trilogy (dir. Chad Stahelski) - It was a trilogy kind of month! This genre is generally not my thing, as I don’t have a high tolerance for graphic violence and pure action bores me after a while, but I was in a Keanu kind of mood and I'm always hearing people go on about John Wick so I wanted to know what (if anything) I was missing. While still a bit too violent for my tastes, if nothing else I could appreciate the dance-like fight choreography, even if the worldbuulding is absolutely ridiculous - I mean, literally thousands of assassins across the world chilling in sanctuary hotels, supported by a vast network of weapon suppliers, tailors, surgeons, spy networks, etc? It’s silly, but hey, I was happy to go along with it.
What I do appreciate about Keanu Reeves, and this seems to be a common thread, is that even when in action hero mode (Matrix, Point Break, John Wick, and to a lesser extent Speed), he consistently plays a man who is completely in love with his partner/wife - like, completely, unapologetically devoted to them, and I think that is a big part of the appeal - it's that Keanu energy that is often the antithesis of toxic masculinity, even when in roles that would ordinarily rely on those tropes.
Wick is in many ways the spiritual successor to Neo - insular, taciturn, and even as he's dispatching death with clinical precision. Much like Neo, Wick is a character who is somehow Soft (tm) despite all the violence. I once listened to a podcast where they amusingly discussed the Reeves oeuvre as simulations of Neo still trapped in the Matrix, and it’s very easy to make the case here and imagine John Wick as Neo plugged back in after Revolutions, mourning Trinity and set on mission after mission to keep his mind active (and it would certainly explain why the guy hasn’t dropped dead after being stabbed, beaten up, strangled, hit by a car, shot, and falling off a building). It’s a fun little theory.
Stahelski was Reeves' stunt double and a stunt coordinator on The Matrix and there's plenty of homages in the visual style and reuniting Reeves with costars Laurence Fishburne and Randall Duk Kim (who played the Keymaker).
I did also find it amusing that Wick is also often referred to as babayaga (equated in the film to the bogeyman). Well, Wick is in many ways a witch who lives in the woods, just wanting to be left alone with his dog, and there is a supernatural energy to the character, so...I guess?
Space Jam: A New Legacy (dir. Malcolm D Lee) - I took my niece to see this at the cinema and it was…pretty much what you would expect. I thought it was fine for what it was, even if a bit slow in parts (it takes a looong time for the looneys to show up) and I wonder if they have the same cultural pull they had in the nineties (the age of Tweety Bird supremacy). But the kids seemed into it (my niece liked porky pig) and that's what counts I guess.
This time, the toon battle royale takes place on the WB servers, where evil A.I. Don Cheadle (having the time of his life chewing the cg scenery) wants to capture Lebron James for...reasons, idk. James and Bugs have to find the rest of the looneys scattered across the server-verse, a chance for WB to desperately remind people that they too, have media properties and a multiverse including DC comics world, Harry Potter world, Matrix world, Mad Max world, Casablanca world etc. Some of it feels very dated - there is I kid you not an Austin Powers reference, although it did make me smile that Trinity was on James’ list of most wanted players (skill: agility).
Unfortunately, nothing it really done with this multiverse concept except “hey, remember this movie? Now with looneys” six times, and the crowd for the game populated by WB denizens including the Iron Giant, Pennywise, the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz, Scooby Doo and the gang, etc. But still, it's fun, and hardly the tarnishing of a legacy or whatever nonsense is driving youtube clicks these days.
Writing
The Lady of the Lake - 2335 words.
Against the Dying of the Light - 2927 words, Chapter 13 posted.
Total: 5272 this month, 38,488 this year.
7 notes · View notes
snowdice · 3 years
Text
Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 60]
I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.
My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27
Okay. Not sure how long I’ll go today, but let’s work on this for a bit. Just gotta finish this side quest and then we can get back to the plot. ;)
Chapter 28
Thomas did not have to be told that something had gotten Helen Heart in a tizzy. He could tell just by the amount of food she had sent up on his dinner tray. She always made and pushed more food when she was stressed, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he found both a hearty serving of roast beef and a mini chicken pot pie on his plate along with three vegetable side dishes and a side of macaroni and cheese.
He could also guess what had happened to illicit such a response. Thomas had caught up to Jeffers Deknis in his garden and they’d spoken at length about Logan and Patton’s new friend.
There was no way that after said discussion, Jeff had not mentioned Virgil (and more importantly his friendship with Patton) to Helen during their daily gossip sessions. There was also no way that Helen had heard the words “child” and “too small” in a sentence and hadn’t flipped. From there the inevitable sequence of events was clear: Patton went home, Helen talked his ear off until he agreed to bring Virgil to meet her, Helen met him and immediately committed herself to making sure he ate three square meals a day as well as multiple snacks.
Thomas had sussed all of that out before the kitchen worker bringing him his dinner had mentioned what had happened that day.
 That in mind, he decided to wait until after dinner should have been cleaned up before walking his own dinner leftovers down to the kitchens.
Thomas was unsurprised to see Jeff already in the kitchen. He was sat at a small table off to the side where kitchen workers usually took their breaks. The only person other than Jeff and Helen left in the kitchen was a dishwasher who was finishing up. Helen usually spent a couple of hours after dinner in her kitchen or her office organizing for the next day and in case anyone needed food on an off hour, and then there was a night cook who would take over so she could go back to her set of rooms.
 Helen took the tray of leftovers from Thomas herself and shooed the dishwasher out of the way. “I’ll handle the rest myself,” she told the girl. “You can leave.”
She nodded and started to take her apron off. Helen dumped the tray on the counter without care and turned back around to usher Thomas into one of the kitchen chairs. Thomas went willingly and she turned to fill the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.
“It take it she met Virgil,” Thomas said to Jeff.
“She’s adopted Virgil,” Jeff replied, taking a bite out of a cookie.
 “And what of it?” she asked. “Someone obviously needs to feed the boy. Speaking of, you’re grounding your son by the way.”
Thomas took one of the cookies for himself. “Why am I grounding Logan?” he asked.
“He was worried enough about his health to make him a nutrition potion, but still did not bring him to me,” she harrumphed.
“I see,” Thomas replied.
“In Logan’s defense,” Jeff interrupted. “the boy seems rather timid. He may have worried about you scaring him off.”
Helen slapped him with a dishtowel.
“Actually,” Jeff continued. “From what I’ve gathered he didn’t have contact with anyone since the time I saw him a couple of weeks ago until now.”
 “Any adults,” Thomas corrected with a frown. “I’m pretty sure he, Patton, and Logan must have been around each other considering how close they already seem to be.” He paused, “Logan implied he wasn’t particularly… comfortable around adults.”
“I did get that impression, yes,” Helen said, pouring the hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and carrying it and some cups over to the table.
“He was incredibly jumpy,” Jeff confirmed. “I imagine he does not have good experiences with many people, but he seems to have grown attached to Logan and Patton. He defers to them in most things and seemed a bit protective.
 “Where did he come from?” Thomas asked.
“I’m not sure,” Jeff said. “I found him hiding in the garden shed a couple of weeks ago.”
“Did he sneak in?” Thomas asked.
“That’s what I would have thought,” Jeff replied, “but when I asked, he said he wasn’t trying to steal anything and that he was supposed to be in the castle. So, I’d assumed that meant he was the child of someone living in the caste.”
“But neither of us could find anyone who knew him,” Helen said. “Of course, we didn’t even know his name until now.” She seemed to decide the tea leaves had sat long enough because she started to pour them each a cup of tea.
Thomas took a sip. “Earl Grey,” he commented. “I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.” It was her ‘planning tea.’
 “We need a plan,” she said, “but we’re going to have to be gentle.”
“At least with Virgil,” Jeff said.
Thomas laughed lightly, “and what do you plan to do with the other two?”
“I have my ways.”
Helen rolled her eyes. “You say that,” she said, “but you’re too soft. The two of them learned to run circles around you and your powers years ago.”
“We should talk to them though,” Thomas said. “Separately from Virgil.”
“We should,” Helen agreed. “I already spoke to Patton a bit yesterday, but I will again. We should see if we can ask around and find out why he’s in the castle. We don’t even know how long he’s lived here. Or who brought him here.” The look on her face told Thomas she wanted to have a talk with his guardians whoever and wherever they were.
 Helen took a drink of tea, it seemed to calm herself. “We need to make sure whatever has been happening to him is not happening in these walls,” she said.
Thomas had honestly… not thought about that. He’d assumed whatever made Virgil so skittish was in the past, but it was possible that it was ongoing. The thought made him sick.
“Perhaps you should try to talk to him, Thomas,” Helen suggested.
Thomas winced. “I am not sure that is a good idea...”
“Why not?”
“We don’t have the best track record… I don’t think me being around him would be a good idea.”
 “Oh, please, Thomas,” Helen said disbelievingly.
“No, you don’t understand,” Thomas said. “He seems disproportionately afraid of me. I think it’s a mix of me being king and how we met.”
“How did you meet?” Helen asked.
“I… gave him a bit of a fright,” Thomas admitted. “Logan and Patton weren’t in the room and I didn’t know who he was. He… ended up under the bed. Then… the second time I saw him he accidently ran into me. He freaked out again.” The memory still made Thomas feel gross. It also made him think there was a lot more to his backstory than the three of them understood.
43410
“Perhaps Jeff can try to talk to him then,” Helen said. “It sounds like he was calmest around you. I’ll push Patton towards taking him to the garden more often. I bet fresh air would do him some good anyway.”
Jeff nodded. “I will try to talk to him a bit more.”
“Great,” Helen said, but Thomas already knew the conversation wasn’t over. “Now we need to talk about strategic events to throw over the next few months that Patton and Logan to invite Virgil to. We’ll start slow, but we need to make sure he feels welcome in the castle.”
Thomas met Jeff’s eyes. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.
  Chapter 29
Virgil finished eating the breakfast Patton’s mom had sent for him. It had been going on a week since she’d made the menu for him. She sent up little cards with each meal and he was supposed to rate each thing she sent on a scale from 1-5. Logan would read it to him before he ate, and Virgil mark the little box on the card. Usually, he would put a 4 for everything (he had tried to do 5, but Logan had told him 5 was reserved for things like chicken alfredo). Three was for things that he was neutral on, 2 was for things he didn’t like but could tolerate, and 1 was for things he didn’t like. So far, the only 3 was the unseasoned porridge she’d sent one day.
 “Finished?” Logan asked.
“Yeah,” Virgil said.
“What would you like to do today?” Logan asked. “Patton is busy until after lunch, and then we thought you might like to go back to the garden again. It’s supposed to drop in temperature over the next few days, so it will be the last good day for it.”
“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I don’t care what we do today though.”
“Well, there are a few options,” Logan said.
“What do you want to do?” Virgil asked.
Logan made an expression, and Virgil titled his head. “I’m don’t have anything in particular I want to do,” he said.
“You’re lying,” Virgil said immediately.
 “You would not be interested in the activity I wish to partake in,” Logan said.
Virgil squinted at him. “I’d be interested in laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.”
Logan chuckled. “No, truly. The activity I would do if you were not present would involve reading.”
“You can read to me,” Virgil suggested.
“…In Sanskrit.”
Virgil frowned at him. “Isn’t that, like, some sort of dead language?”
“It is,” Logan said. “I taught myself to read it to read a specific book called the Pragilium Text. It’s an encoded book that leads to a magical location that I have been trying to decode for years.”
 “That’s fine,” Virgil said. “You can do that.”
“It would be in the library,” Logan said.
“Okay.”
“But…” Logan said. “It would in no way be interesting to you.”
Virgil shrugged. “Like I said. I’m content to lie on the floor for a few hours.”
Logan frowned. “I can’t make you do that.”
“You wouldn’t be making me,” Virgil said. “I want to go. Maybe you can find me an easy book I could try to read?”
“Are you certain?” he asked.
Virgil nodded, decisively.
“Very well, get dressed and I will show you the library.”
Virgil stood to do so and a few minutes later, Logan was leading him out of the royal wing.
 Both of the guards greeted him kindly, and Virgil hunched his shoulders in a bit, but said a soft “hi.”
The library didn’t end up being too far away. It was through the small dining hall and to the left where the staircase to the kitchen was to the right.
“This is not the main library,” Logan said. “It is just a smaller one. The royal librarian comes here only about once a week to organize. Some other castle residents might come in too, but it is usually mostly empty.” Virgil could tell just by listening for a few seconds that the place was likely empty (unless someone was lying in wait).
 “I’ll look and see if there is something simple for you in case you’d like to read. You can explore a bit if you’d like,” Logan said.
Virgil nodded and stalked off into the shelves to secure the area. There were many books, not that he could quite read any of the spines. The bookcases were mostly cramped into the space. There was the open area where they’d come in with a few comfy chairs and Virgil found a desk near one of the windows. It had stacks of books including one pretty large and old one. He looked at it curiously.
 Virgil heard Logan’s footsteps approach from down an aisle. “That’s the Pragilium text,” he said.
“It’s pretty,” Virgil said, looking at the design etched into the cover.
“Yes,” Logan agreed. He reached forward to touch it and opened it carefully. The print was small and didn’t look like the letters Logan had taught him so far. There was a small map on the side that Virgil could at least guess at the meaning of.
“You can read that?” Virgil asked.
“I can,” Logan said. “Very few people can though.”
“Wow, you’re really smart.”
“Thank you,” Logan said with a smile.
 “Now,” Logan continued. “I found you a book. I apologize as its subject matter is for younger children, but it has many pictures that can help give you context when you don’t know something. You don’t have to read it if you do not wish to, especially as we haven’t gotten very far in our lessons, but I thought you might like the challenge.
He handed him the book and Virgil took it with a smile. “I’ll try to read it,” he said.
“Well, you have free reign of the library. Feel free to continue to explore and to interrupt me if you need to.”
 Virgil nodded and took the book before deciding to finish his sweep of the library. It turned out that appearances were not deceiving, and the library truly was empty. Once he was certain about that, he looked around for a comfortable place to settle down and try to read the book Logan had handed him. He found a sturdy looking bookshelf near where Logan was reading at his desk. He scaled it quickly. It was a little bit dusty at the top, but it wasn’t a bad place. It was close to the ceiling and kept him hidden pretty well, but still gave him enough room to pop up onto his elbows. If he looked left, he could see Logan down bellow with his head in the book, but if he looked right, he could see the entrance to the library.
 He pulled the book in front of him and looked at the cover. It was covered in drawings of different colored flowers. One simple white flower was in the center and there were three words on the cover. He squinted at it and silently tried to sound it out based on what Logan had taught him so far. He could guess that the larger word was ‘flowers’ based on context. So, he was pretty sure it read How Flowers Grow.
He flipped open the book. Logan was right, there were many hand drawn beautiful pictures. He could pretty much understand what was happening just from them even if he couldn’t read all of the words.
 It was an interesting book even if he couldn’t read it and it was obviously made for small children. Judging by the pictures it seemed to be detailing how plants, or at least, flowers grew through some kid planting and caring for a flower over the course of some amount of time.
Virgil had, of course, known flowers grew from seeds, but it was interesting to see things about how the stem would pop out of the seed in the ground and things about the roots growing.
He more looked through the pictures than read it the first time but had flipped back to the front to try to read the words when he heard the library door open.
 Virgil perked up in awareness, but then settled when he recognized Patton’s footsteps. Virgil tilted his head to watch as he walk directly to Logan’s hideaway.
“Hi,” he said, gaining Logan’s attention.
“Hello, Patton,” Logan replied. He glanced at the window and must have seen that time had passed because he closed his book and shuffled his papers.
“The guards said you came here,” Patton said, glancing around. “Where’s Virgil?”
Instead of letting Logan answer that question, Virgil pulled himself forward, with the book in one hand and slid off the bookshelf to land lightly on his feet next to Patton.
Patton screamed before slapping a hand over his mouth.
 Logan had placed his hand over his heart. “Where on Earth did you come from?” he asked.
Virgil blinked at him and then pointed to the bookshelf he’d been on top of.
“How long were you up there?” Logan asked.
“Pretty much the whole time,” Virgil answered.
“I…” Logan said. “I didn’t even know.”
Virgil squinted at him. “You need to learn to look up.”
Patton giggled.
Virgil turned on him. “You need to learn to case the area.”
“Oh honey, your shirt is all covered in dust,” Patton said instead of responding to his very valid criticism. Virgil frowned. “Let’s get you changed and then go grab some lunch.”
“Lunch?” Virgil asked.
Patton chuckled and grabbed his hand. “Yes, sweetie, lunch. Then garden.”
“Fine,” Virgil said. “But you do need to learn to be more observant.
“Yes, yes, whatever you say,” Patton said.
Logan just rolled his eyes.
  Chapter 30
After lunch, Patton and Logan took Virgil out into the garden to walk around. They let Virgil lead them around wherever he wanted to in the garden. A bunch more flowers had died since the last time they’d been out here, and Patton felt sad despite having never felt very sad about that sort of thing before. But, Virgil seemed to really like the flower he’d found last time, so Patton thought he was probably sad on the boy’s behalf.
Of course, Patton thought, perking up, eventually it would be spring, and Virgil could get to not only see flowers but see all of the flowers grow. Patton couldn’t wait to see him amongst the garden then.
 Virgil took them wandering through the orchard for a while, but most of the trees had been stripped of their fruits. They ended up in the food garden after a bit, and Virgil finally seemed to decide on the direction instead of just ambling about.
A few seconds after Patton noticed Virgil seemingly decide on a destination, Patton noticed Mr. Deknis kneeling on the ground a few feet away. Had… had Virgil been looking for him? Patton wondered. That was adorable.
Mr. Deknis looked up as they approached and smiled at them.
“Hello, Mr. Deknis,” Patton said as they came closer.
 “Hello you three,” Mr. Deknis said. “Getting into trouble?”
“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head.
Mr. Deknis gave him a flash of a smile. “I know, I’m joking,” he said. “Especially since there isn’t much left in my gardens for certain princes to destroy with experiments.”
“Oh, okay,” Virgil said. He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”
“I’m getting the last of the acorn squash out,” Mr. Deknis replied. “It’s the last crop to get finished. Good thing too, it’s supposed to start snowing soon.”
Virgil looked down curiously at the dark green squash.
“Would you like to help me pick a couple?” Mr. Deknis asked.
 “Sure,” Virgil said, sounding interested. Mr. Deknis patted the ground beside him and Virgil knelt down to watch him.
“They’re not too difficult to harvest,” he said. “You just cut the fruit off the stem. You want to leave about a hand’s width of the stem left over which will help preserve moisture. The earlier harvests, I left in the field to cure in the sun for a couple weeks, but the frost’ll ruin them so we’ll take them inside the green house and let them sit in the sun for a bit there. We also want to keep the leaves. You’ll probably be eating those for dinner tonight since they have to be cooked up within about 24 hours after they’re picked. Patton’s mom makes a good side dish with them and she’ll be making some curry tomorrow, probably. Maybe some stew if there are some leftover.”
 “Put the squash in this wheelbarrow and the leaves into this pile, okay?” Virgil nodded and Mr. Deknis handed him the extra pair of gloves and shears he carried with him in case one set broke. “These might be a bit big on your, but they should work for now.”
Mr. Deknis looked up at Patton and Logan. “Would the two of you like to help?” he asked. “I can get some more equipment.”
“I can help out if you want, but you don’t need to stop and get more equipment just for me,” Patton said.
“The same for me,” Logan said.
“Well, if you’d like to help still, you can sort the leave. Give your mother a head start.”
 “Sure,” Patton said. He and Logan went to do that while Mr. Deknis and Virgil worked on cutting the squashes from the vine.
“What do you do during the winter?” Virgil asked curiously. “If this is your last crop.”
“Well, at the beginning, I mostly will be working on making sure things are stored correctly along with some of the kitchen staff. There’s some drying to do and some canning. After that’s done, I’ll spend some time organizing and planning. Then, before the spring comes, I’ll start preparing seedlings in the green house.”
“Seedlings?” he asked.
“I let seeds start to grow in the greenhouse that I replant once it gets warm enough.”
 “Why don’t you just plant them where they’re going?”
“I do for some,” he said, “but giving some a head start is good for them.”
Patton watched as Virgil continued to ask questions about gardening while working on harvesting the squash. Mr. Deknis continued to answer them in a calm, soft tone that Patton didn’t think he’d ever heard from the often gruff man before.
Patton wasn’t surprised when, after finishing getting most of the squash off of the vine, Mr. Deknis asked if Virgil wanted to help him with canning some pears in a couple of days. Virgil immediately looked over at Logan and Patton as though asking permission.
“Say yes if you want to Virgil,” Logan said.
 “Yes,” Virgil said as soon as he was given permission. Mr. Deknis smiled at him softly and started loading the last of the squash into the wheelbarrow. Patton offered to run the squash leaves to the kitchen while Logan and Virgil helped Mr. Deknis take the actual squash to the green house.
He dropped the leaves off to a kitchen worker since Mama was busy and headed back out to the garden. By the time he returned, Logan was already back from the green house and sitting by one of the more decorative trees near the castle.
“He’s exploring,” Logan said, nodding at the large patch of bushes.
 Patton chuckled. “I see.” He sat next to Logan. Every so often he’d hear the bushes rustle, but he couldn’t tell if it was actually Virgil or an animal.
“He’s adorable,” Patton commented, keeping an ear out.
Logan hummed.
“I’m glad we kept him.”
“He isn’t a pet, Patton.”
Patton rolled his eyes. “I know, but I’m still glad. I’m glad he’s making friends with Mr. Deknis. Once he knows how to read better, we should get him a book about gardening. He seems interested.”
Logan nodded. “Having a hobby would be good for him. Clearly he has a fascination with the garden.” He nodded to the blur of dark hair that could be seen through the bushes. It seemed Virgil had stopped his exploration and was now laying down in the bushes a few feet away.
 “I’m going to go see what he’s doing,” Patton said. “I’ll be right back.”
Logan nodded and Patton got to his feet. The bushes were part of a small maze that was filled with flowers during the spring and summer months but were mostly just green and brown bushes for now. Despite the fact that Patton had been able to see him only a few feet away, it took him a while to wind through the path to where he was. When he finally turned the last corner and he came into view, Patton gasped softly.
“Ghost kitty!” he said, making sure to make his voice as quiet as possible.
 Despite how soft he made his voice, two pairs of eyes shot over to him. The completely black kitten was perched on Virgil’s lap like she belonged there. Ghost Kitty hissed slightly, but Virgil reached forward to pet her head gently.
“This is Ghost Kitty?” Virgil asked. “I thought you said she was hard to pet.”
“She is,” Patton said. He lowered himself onto the ground from a few feet away from them. “How did you get her to come to you?”
Virgil glanced down at the cat and shrugged, scratching one of her ears. “She just came over to me and let me pet her.”
 “Wow,” Patton said softly. He looked at the cat. “Could I pet you sweetie?” he asked, holding out a hand in her direction. She hissed again.
Virgil frowned down at her. “It’s Patton,” he said as though he expected to understand his words and the exasperation in the tone he said them in.
He pet the cat’s head to soothe her and then reached over to grab Patton’s hand. He pulled and Patton carefully leaned a bit closer until his hand was within sniffing distance. Ghost Kitty sniffed his fingers contemplatively and then bumped her head against it. He barely restrained a squeal, knowing that probably wouldn’t be taken well.
 He carefully turned his hand over so he could stroke the top of her head. He gently scratched her ear, not daring to go for under her chin yet since she didn’t know him well. “Hi,” he said softly. After a moment, she started to purr softly. Virgil reached over and scratched under her chin and she purred louder. “Oh, you’re a good girl,” Patton breathed, letting a hand trail gently down her back once and then again. Patton settled himself carefully into a seating position continuing to pet her. After a few more moments of soft petting, she hesitantly stepped her front paws onto Patton’s thigh so she was sitting in both of their laps. Patton laughed softly. “Hi sweetie.” He glanced over at Virgil who had a wide smile on his face as he pet the cat. This. This was adorable. They continued to pet the cat for a very long time.
  Chapter 31
Logan waited for a while after Patton left to check on Virgil, but the two never resurfaced. It was odd, Patton would usually remember to come back and get Logan or at least tell them where they were. With a sigh, Logan climbed to his feet to go find them. It took him a while to weave his way through the maze of bushes to them especially because they were suspiciously quiet (Well, suspicious for Patton. Virgil was often unnervingly quiet when alone.) Luckily, he knew the bushes enough after all of these years not to get lost and managed to find the two after a few minutes.
“Ah,” he said, immediately identifying the reason for Patton disappearing.
 “Logan!” Patton said, his voice excited, but also quieter than normal. “We found a kitty!”
“I can see that,” Logan responded, taking a step closer. The cat hissed at him in response. The hissing was so intense and wild that he’d suspect the thing was feral if it wasn’t happily on Virgil’s lap having had it’s head in Patton’s lap before Logan had approached.
“No,” Virgil told the animal as though it could understand words. “That’s Logan. Be nice.”
The cat still glared at him and swished it’s tail back and forth threateningly. Virgil pet the top of it’s head and it broke eye contact with Logan to purr.
 Patton seemed delighted by the purring, reaching to stroke under the thing’s chin carefully. “We should give her a name!” Patton said.
Virgil frowned. “I thought her name was Ghost Kitty.”
“That is ‘Ghost Kitty’?” Logan asked skeptically. From what Patton had said about that cat, it was terrified of people and no one could ever get near it, even him. Now it was in Virgil’s lap?
“But that was a temporary name,” Patton said, “for before we officially met her. Now we have to give her a real name.”
“Do not give it a name,” Logan said. “You will get attached.”
 “How do you name a cat?” Virgil asked.
“Do not name it,” Logan said.
“You give them names based on their personalities, how they look, or even just because it’s a cute name,” Patton explained. “Like, remember Mittens? I named her Mittens because she has white fur and black paws!”
Virgil looked at the cat. “She’s completely black,” he said.
Patton hummed. “So, we could give her a name based on that like Midnight or Shadow.”
“Those are fine,” Virgil said.
“No, no,” Patton said. “I’m just giving you examples. You get to name her yourself.”
“This is a bad idea,” Logan said.
 “Just throw out some names,” Patton said. “Anything you can think of.”
“Uh,” Virgil said. “Knife.”
“…Just Knife?” Patton asked.
“Nightmare.” Virgil seemed to think about it. “No, that’s mean.”
“How about things you like?” Patton suggested.
“Alfredo?”
Oh no, Logan thought, he was worse than Patton at cat naming.
“Good start,” Patton said. “Logan, do you have any suggestions.”
“Cat,” Logan said.
“Real suggestions,” Patton scolded.
Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Aphrodite.”
“Catphrodite!”
Logan glared at him. “Helena.”
“Helenpaw.”
“Claudia.”
“Clawdia.”
“Persephone.”
Patton smiled at him, cheerfully.
“…Damnit!”
Patton turned to Virgil again. “Like that! They don’t even have to be serious. Like, uh, you could name her Madam Fluffywuffykins the Great!”
“Do not name her that,” Logan said, scrunching up his nose.
 Logan sat on the ground, the cat eyeing him, but no longer hissing. Logan gently guided them towards more sensible names despite Patton trying his hardest to drag them into stupidity.
Virgil still didn’t quite get it. He mostly tried to name it after foodstuff, and often not even appropriate foodstuff such as “Corn” and “Acorn Squash” and “Sandwich” and occasionally would drop in semi violent ones such as “Razor,” “Nightshade” and “Void.” Patton suggested names like “Fluffers,” “Bobette” and “Darling” as well as some that were puns. Logan tried to direct them towards more sensible ones like “Salem” and even went so low as to suggest the contrary “Snowball.”
 It quickly seemed to become less about actually naming the cat and more of a game. Patton had taught Virgil about playing with cats and had even gotten out a ball of yarn he cared around for his crafts. Both Virgil and the cat seemed to find endless entertainment with that. Logan hoped Patton had another ball of yarn that color because, he was never going to get that ball back.
The barrage of names fizzled out into naming things around them like “Leaf” and “Bush” until they stopped suggesting names altogether. Patton and Logan sat back and watched Virgil play with the cat.
 Logan watched as they stopped playing suddenly and Virgil and the cat squinted at each other. “Marisol,” Virgil said, pulling the name out of nowhere. “That’s her name.” He said it with a certainty that was surprising considering how he’d treated the naming process with confusion and caution earlier. If Logan did not know better, his tone of voice would indicate that the cat, or Marisol he guessed, had gotten bored of them coming up with stupid names and decided to tell him her actual name herself.
The cat made a sound and batted at Virgil’s face without claws to grab back his attention.
 He turned back to it and bopped its face with a finger in kind. It attacked his finger, but in a clearly playful matter as it still did not extend it’s claws and its teeth did not draw blood.
“That’s a great name, Virgil,” Patton said.
“Much more pleasant than any that Patton suggested all afternoon,” Logan said. He received an elbow to the side for his quip.
“A pretty name for a pretty kitty,” Patton said, scooting over to where Virgil was sat and attempting to pet Marisol’s head. Marisol, however, was too keyed up and batted at the hand.
 “I love you too!” Patton said.
Logan rolled his eyes, but he had long since resigned himself to watching the two of them play with and coo over the cat for the rest of the day.
Eventually, though, it started to get darker. Even after Logan pointed this out, it still took over an hour for them to relent and leave the bush maze to go to the door. The problem was of course, that the cat had managed to grow very attached to Virgil in the last few hours and she followed them all the way to the door with manipulatively heart breaking mews.
 “You’ve got to stay out here,” Virgil said, when they got to the castle door. He pet her ear softly and she shoved her head into his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere to put you.” He sounded horribly sad about that fact and Logan felt himself shift uncomfortably. “I basically live in a closet and Logan doesn’t like cats in his room anyway.”
Logan immediately felt unreasonably guilty, probably more so because Logan did not think Virgil was trying to make him feel guilty. “…Bring the dammed thing inside.”
Virgil blinked up at him. “What?”
“It will get cold soon anyway,” Logan said.
He frowned at Logan from where he was crouched. “But you don’t like fur in your room…”
“I will have to find a potion that works,” he said with a sigh, “and we’ll have to say it’s mine to the guards and Father since it will be staying in my room, but it is yours in every other way. That means you are going to feed it, clean it, and clean up after it.”
Virgil nodded immediately and swooped Marisol up in his arms. The cat went without complaint. “Thank you!” he said. “I love her.”
“I know you do,” Logan said, already regretting it already. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider recanting the offer considering how happy Virgil seemed to be. They had a cat now, he guessed.
  Chapter 32
“What are you doing?” Helen asked a few minutes after her son walked into the kitchen and started looking around as though he were trying to find something. It was a few hours into the afternoon, and she and a few workers were already prepping for dinner.
“Uh,” Patton said. “Have you seen Virgil?”
“No,” Helen said. “Why.”
“Er… Logan and I sorta, lost him,” Patton said. He was wringing his hands anxiously. Helen put down the knife in her hand.
“What do you mean you lost him?” she asked.
“Well, see, we were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, um, but then we didn’t think to tell him that he eventually had to come out if we didn’t find him, and now we haven’t seen him since breakfast.”
 “He didn’t know what tag is?” she asked. That was just one more thing to add to the list of why Helen worried about Virgil and where he came from. Every morsel of information she’d managed to wring from Patton despite his evasions made her lists of concerns grow larger, even little things like him not knowing about simple childhood games. Actually, thinking of concerning things having to do with Virgil. “Wait, so he hasn’t eaten lunch.”
“Um, we don’t know that,” Patton’s mouth said while his eyes said ‘no.’
“He needs to be on a consistent diet, especially when he’s still taking the malnutrition potion,” she scolded.
 “I know, Mama, I know,” Patton said. “I’m trying to find him. I’d kinda hoped he’d gotten hungry and snuck down here. He probably wouldn’t want to risk being caught stealing food though.”
Helen grimaced. Yet another concerning thing.
“Wait! I have an idea, I’ll be right back.” Patton turned and ran out of the room. Helen frowned at the space he’d been and finished chopping the carrot on the cutting board in front of her. If it had been any other person in the castle missing, Helen wouldn’t have worried, but she had literally never seen Virgil without Patton and/or Logan by his side. Even when he’d gone to help Jeff can some fruit, Logan had reportedly hung around to read a book.
 Considering that Logan had never exactly been clingy even with Patton, she imagined that either Virgil asked, or Logan thought he should stay with him for his comfort. So, she was surprised that he was apparently hidden away somewhere in the castle where neither of the other kids could find him.
Still thinking about this, she walked over to the entrance to the cellar below the kitchen where they stored most of the vegetables, planning to grab some more carrots. She was confused for a moment when she heard movement from deeper in the pantry. She reached over and touched the panel near the door that controlled the magic lights.
 The newly illuminated figure startled as the lights came on, whipping around to stare at her with wide eyes.
“Virgil?” she asked.
“Sorry,” he said immediately, taking a step back.
“It’s fine,” she said immediately, “but what are you doing here?”
He considered her for a long moment, but apparently, she passed some sort of mental test, because he relaxed, at least as much as he’d ever relaxed in her presence. “Where are we?” he asked.
Her brow knit together. “The cellar under the kitchen,” she said, “You don’t know that?”
He shook his head.
“The only entrance is from the kitchen.” Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him go through the kitchen at any point.
 “No, it’s not,” Virgil said. “There’s a tunnel.”
“A-a tunnel?” she asked. Actually, taking a closer look at him, he seemed a bit grimy. He had dust all over his front and dirt on his nose. She thought he might even have a couple of cobwebs in his hair.
“Yep,” he said.
“Where’s the tunnel?” she asked.
“It’s right over here,” he said. He took a couple of steps and pointed to the ground. There was an open square hole there that clearly had been made a long time ago but which she had never noticed in all of her time working here.
 “How did you find this?” she asked.
“We were playing hide and seek,” Virgil explained. “Logan said I could hide anywhere inside the castle. I hid on top of a dresser upstairs in some unused sitting room. There was a hole in the wall above it, so I climbed into it. Then, I crawled a little bit and it let out into a hidden passage in the walls. I wandered around in it until I found another hole in one of the walls. I thought it was a way out, so I squeezed into it, but it took me to a different hallway where I found an old room. There was a different hole in that room that had probably been covered by something because it was in the floor but whatever it was had rotted away. I crawled though it into a tunnel and came out here.”
 She couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his explanation. “Well, it sounds like you went on an adventure,” she said, “but Patton and Logan have been trying to find you. You missed lunch.”
He tilted his head at her. “I know. I was supposed to hide.”
“Yes,” she explained, “but you are supposed to come out at some point if they can’t find you for things like food.”
“Oh,” he said.
“They probably should have explained,” she said. “For now, why don’t we get you something to eat? You must be hungry.”
Virgil frowned. “But I missed lunch.”
“You can still eat even though it’s not in normal hours,” she said. “You could even if you had made it to lunch.”
 “Really?” he asked, he looked tragically confused by this offer.
“Of course, sweetie,” she said. “In fact, I insist you get something good to eat right now. How about I made you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich? Maybe some cookies too!”
Virgil titled his head. “You are Patton’s mother,” he stated.
Helen laughed softly. “He gets its all from me,” she said. “We should probably go find him and tell him you’re okay. He was worried.”
“I didn’t mean to worry him,” Virgil said with a frown.
“I know,” Helen said. “It’s okay. He’ll probably laugh when he figures out where you’ve been, and Logan will interrogate you all about the secret passageways.” He seemed happy about the prospect of seeing his friends. “Come on, let’s go upstairs for a bit,” she said.
  Chapter 33
Patton’s mom had already made Virgil sit down at the small table in the corner of the kitchen and had handed him a sandwich by the time Patton barreled into the kitchen, Logan coming after him at a more sedate pace.
“Virgil!” he said, sounding surprised and relieved.
“Patton,” Patton’s mom scolded. “No cats in the kitchen.” Patton had brought Marisol in with him and had let her go as soon as he’d seen Virgil. She immediately plodded over to him and hoped onto the table to sniff at his face in greeting.
“But she’s the princess!” Patton argued.
“No,” Logan said.
 “Yes, she is!” Patton said.
“The stupid cat is not a princess.”
“Don’t be mean to your little sister, Logan.”
“I regret every life decision that has led me to this point.”
While Logan and Patton were distracted squabbling and Patton’s mom was distracted watching them squabble, Virgil tore off a bit of the ham in his sandwich and offered it to Marisol. Marisol gracefully took it from his grip and ate it.
“So, this is Logan’s new cat I’ve been hearing about?” Patton’s mom asked.
“Indeed,” Logan said, his lips thinned. He and Marisol were mostly amicable when alone with just them and Virgil, but Patton had a habit of cooing over the kitten and needling Logan into being irritated.
 “Mmm, yeah,” Patton’s mom said. She glanced over at Virgil right as Marisol basically slammed her face into his chin in a bid to get pets. “Your cat.” She shook her head. “But Princess Kitten or not, I do not want fur in dinner,” she said.
“Sorry,” Patton said, honestly not sounding sorry at all. Virgil was always a bit surprised when the insolent shrug garnered nothing more that a scowl that did not reach Patton’s mom’s eyes. “I thought she could help me find Virgil, but you already found him.” He turned to Virgil. “Where have you been all day?”
 “Found a tunnel,” Virgil said. He had to use one hand to hold Marisol back from his sandwich as he took another bite, but then gave her a bite of cheese.
“You found what?” Logan asked.
“There’s a tunnel under the cellar,” Virgil said. “It goes to an old closed up room and also to a set of secret passageways.” It was a bit of a security risk honestly, though clearly no one had used it in years by how dirty it was. He did plan to go back into it and make sure the sprawling tunnels didn’t go to anywhere more dangerous like the royal wing.
 “A closed-up room?” Logan said. He could see a bit of curiosity already building in his eyes.
“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Where the door used to be seemed like it had been bricked over.”
“Really? Can you show me.”
“Sure,” Virgil answered.
“Ah, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious about climbing through random tunnels we don’t know the stability of,” Patton’s mom said.
Logan’s frown edged on a pout.
“Talk to your father,” she said. “I’m sure he can get someone who understands these things so you can safely investigate.”
“It was safe enough for Virgil,” Logan pointed out.
 “No, Logan.”
He sighed but seemed to concede. That was another strange thing about living here. By all rights Logan didn’t have to obey anyone except the king, but he often listened to those around him, not just the adults but Patton as well. It was interesting though it sometimes made the hierarchy hard to figure out. Virgil did sometimes stress out about the hypothetical situation where he got conflicting orders from two people, and he wouldn’t know which one to obey. So far it hadn’t been a problem luckily. They always seemed to work it out amongst themselves in some give and take social interaction that was a bit too complex for him to understand.
 Patton walked over to where Virgil was sitting. “I’m glad your safe,” he said. “We should probably put a time limit on hide and seek in the future, so you know when to come out.”
“Did I win?” Virgil asked. He’d honestly forgotten they’d been playing a game until Patton’s mom had asked how he’d found his way into the cellar.
Patton laughed. “I’d say so, yeah,” he replied. He leaned over to kiss Virgil’s forehead, but drew back immediately with a pinched expression. “You are… very dirty,” he said, rubbing his mouth.
Virgil nodded. “Your mom made me sit on a tablecloth,” he said gesturing to the fabric she’d laid over the chair.
 Patton snorted out a laugh. “We’ll get you into the bath when you’re done eating and you can tell us all about your little adventure.”
“I would also like to hear about your discoveries,” Logan said. “Though you are not allowed to sit on the bed until you do not have spider webs in your hair.”
Patton’s eyes widened and he jumped away from Virgil, startling both Virgil and Marisol. The latter hopped from the table onto Virgil’s lap. “Spiders?!”
Virgil tilted his head at him in confusion.
“He isn’t a fan of spiders,” Logan informed him, his voice amused at Patton’s reaction.
 Apparently deciding that she was no longer startled, but more confused by the noises Patton had just made, Marisol jumped out of Virgil’s lap to investigate, wrapping her way around Patton’s legs. He bent down to pat her back, though he still looked a bit startled.
“Your cat, huh?” Patton’s mom asked Logan once again. Virgil studied her. She had apparently missed Logan mentioning that he allowed Virgil on the bed. Or perhaps Logan was correct in his insistence that it wasn’t actually that big of a deal here. Virgil would rather not test that assumption, however, so was glad that it had been distracted from by Patton’s outburst.
 “Creepy, crawly death dealers,” Patton mumbled into Marisol’s fur, having picked her back up. Virgil made a note to not inform Patton of all of the different types of spiders he’d seen skittering around in the castle walls today. Maybe he’d talk about them with Logan once Patton left. He’d probably be interested. Virgil had seen some he’d never seen before! Logan probably could even help him figure out what their names were. “You’ll protect me, won’t you kitty?” Patton asked Marisol.
She made a little ‘burrrr’ sound in response, which Patton seemed to take a confirmation.
“Aw thank you, baby! Such a good baby.”
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Virgil popped the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Patton’s mom turned away and grabbed a plate stacked with cookies. She handed it to Logan. “Take these, and please get the health hazards out of my kitchen,” she requested.
Logan took them without complaint. “Come on, Virgil,” he said. “Let’s go get you clean.”
“We’re going to need so much soap,” Patton said.
Virgil looked down at himself. “I can go outside and get most of it off if you get me a bucket of water,” he offered.
“Virgil, it’s below freezing,” Logan said as though that had a baring on what he’d just said. Logan sighed. “No. Bathtub.” Virgil shrugged. “Honestly,” Logan said. He turned with the plate of cookies in his hand, clearly expecting to be followed. “You’re not going to catch your death pouring a bucket of water over yourself in the cold when there are literally over a hundred perfectly good bathtubs in this castle. For goodness sakes.” And well, Virgil wasn’t going to complain.
  Chapter 34
Patton, to be completely honest, was not all that interested in the room that Virgil had found. Beyond just the fact that it would definitely have creepy crawly death dealers in it, he really did not understand the intrigue. If it had just been him, he probably would have just let a castle worker deal with it, but it was not just him. Logan was ecstatic with the prospect of investigating a secret in the castle. People who didn’t know him well may not believe it considering he spent most of his time with his nose in a book, but he was an adventurer at heart.
 Thomas had been easily swayed into finding someone to help tear down part of the wall into the secret tunnel near the room (so no one would have to crawl through the kitchen cellar like Virgil). It had taken a few days, however, and Logan was practically bouncing off the walls waiting. Virgil, despite having already seen the room before, also seemed excited, though if that was because of his own curiosity or because he was just excited that Logan seemed so exited remained to be seen.
“They are silly, aren’t they,” Patton asked Princess Marisol. He was laying on his stomach on Logan’s bed and Princess Marisol had just put her little paw on his nose.
 “Yes, I agree,” he said. “Don’t they know that we’re literally going to be 2 feet away from the normal hallway?”
“It is not silly,” Logan defended himself. “Any number of things could go wrong.” He sounded far too excited about the prospect of something going terribly wrong. “The tunnels could cave in and block off the exit or there could be some unknown pathogen in the air.”
Patton did not ruin his fun by mentioning that Logan’s dad had definitely basically baby proofed the tunnels for them ahead of time. Instead, he just said, “Don’t let Virgil hear you say that sort of thing. It will just stress him out.”
 “Yes, yes, of course,” he said, waving off Patton’s concerns as he mulled over two different weird green planty things (potion ingredients, Patton assumed) before setting one aside and sticking the other in his bag.
“So silly,” Patton cooed at the cat. Logan let out a huff but did not choose to say anything about it this time.
Speaking of silly, Virgil came back from Logan’s bathroom then, and Patton tried not to giggle. “Is this right?” Virgil asked, sounding and looking confused. Logan, in his overexcitement about adventure had commissioned Virgil an outfit that actually fit. Said outfit, however, very much made it look more like Virgil was going on a safari instead of a two-foot detour from the normal castle hallway.
 “Almost,” Logan said, “Here, let me.” Logan started straightening everything out and flattening the collar, reminding Patton of an overbearing parent on picture day. Virgil accepted the fussing without protest. It was adorable. Well, the outfit was ridiculous, but still, adorable. “There,” Logan said. “I think we’re ready to go now.”
It was about time. Patton was sure people were already waiting for them downstairs. Patton got up and patted Princess Marisol on the head. She looked up at them with interest.
“You can stay here, sweetie,” Patton told here. She seemed to consider it and then hopped down from the bed to go rub up against Virgil.
 Patton guessed she was coming. It didn’t matter too much since Logan had given her a magical collar that allowed her to open most doors in the castle and everyone knew she was the royal cat now, so if she decided she wanted to come back to the room and nap, she could. (She was very aware of the power she held.)
She pranced happily by Virgil’s side all the way down the steps to the first floor of the castle. She was such a good kitty.
Well, she did hiss angrily at everyone who came too close to them, but still, a very good kitty.
 Patton did lean down and pick her up so they could actually talk to the man waiting for them at the large hole in the wall. Logan went to talk to the castle worker while Virgil half hid behind Patton. He was clearly listening very intently to the conversation however, at least more intently than Patton was. Patton was busy shaking his head fondly.
“Yes, yes, Princess,” he said to the cat. “I know we do not trust the strangers, but I promise this stranger is perfectly safe.”
“How do you know?” Virgil asked.
“His name is Chester and I’ve known him since I was 9.”
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