#''i would like that service but i will never earn that amount in my life so that is a big amount and maybe that's an unreasonable cost...''

[bangficsx]

PLANNERS

pairing : jungkook x reader insert

word count : 7777 [coincidence ;)]

synopsis : wedding planner hooks up with the bride's cousin

warning : slight dry humping, teasing, blowjob, fingering, cum swallowing, squirting, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (it's just a fic), a dick pic i don't think there's anything else..

"I already got the number given for how many tables and chairs are to be set up" the man tells you, leaving you in disbelief.

"I think you have a misunderstanding. I'm the event manager. I was supposed to have a meeting with you about it." You try to put forward your argument which gets dismissed again immediately.

"A certain gentleman came two hours before and told me everything in detail" the man answers getting irritated by your insistence about his mistake.

"Now please do not waste my time miss. I've got a lot of other clients." You turn around and roll your eyes, stomping forward murmuring "again".

It wasn't the first time your job got done by your customer. You have never met one like this before in the hundreds of weddings and events you've arranged. Why pay a hefty sum to you if they want to do everything on their own?

You make up your mind and set out on a quest to find the mysterious man who keeps completing the tasks he hired you to perform. And you've already assumed he must be the typical arrogant asshole from your nightmares.

The next morning, you leave for the photographer's studio three hours early. You were supposed to meet them to decide the lighting and type of camera that is to be used. What kind of shots the couple wants.

In your two year long career, you've never had an upset client. You try your best to deliver the exact kind of wedding they must've dreamt of for their whole lives.

The wedding ceremony is one of the most important events of a human's life. The most joyous celebration that unites two individuals and families together.

And you make those dreams come true. It's in your hand to control all that is controllable on that most special day of someone's life.

This wedding is by far the most expensive one you've ever handled. Usually you would manage two or three in a month. But they put a condition asking  you only focus on theirs for the month the wedding's scheduled in.

The groom started his own tech company at just 20 and earned a name for himself. While the bride is the ceo of a pharmaceutical company her dad left to her.

You ask your photographer if they got any emails about your event and when they checked they actually had one. You asked them for the address ensuring them there would be no consequences.

When you search the email address, you find it mentioned on a linked in account. You assume it must be the bride Si-young's cousin as you clearly remember her telling you she doesn't have any siblings of her own.

You find the man has attended a business school abroad and has professional posts about the company. Again you assume, he must work in the company too. Probably hold some influential position and hence, acts like such an asshole.

You also come from a well to do family yet you never understood why rich people spend money on services they don't even use.

You look at the picture of the man carefully. A pretty good looking man for sure. And you smirk when you find him in the car that's driving up the street just like you expected.

You feel stupid that you'd shared the schedule with them to assure everything would be done in time. There was a fair amount of time left yet you were working everyday as it was a big scale event, a grand affair. Two business tycoons coming together along with their souls and hearts.

You walk upto the spot where he parks his car. Resolute to give him an earful about what has been happening for the last week.

You stand with your hands folded waiting for him to ask what you want and to gladly tell him to let you do your job. He walks past you and enters the studio leaving you gasping.

You stomp your feet and follow him. Fuming in anger, you call behind him "excuse me mister what do you think are you doing huh?"

He keeps talking with the photographer showing her samples that you were supposed to show and tells them they want better ones than those.

"Mr Jeon!" You call him again. He finally turns around.

"Can I help you?" He asks as if he's clueless.

"Yes. I think you're aware that Ms Si-young and her fiancé have appointed me as their wedding planner. I'm the one whose supposed to perform the tasks you've been performing. It's my job" You finally release all your pent up frustration.

"It's complicated" he says and turns around to continue his conversation.

"Excuse me sir do you not understand how much inconvenience you've been causing me. I have been wasting my precious time and money to travel miles only to find you've already done the job" you shout unable to believe something like this could ever happen.

"Look it's not my problem. I told Si-young that I would look after every little detail about her wedding. It's not my fault if she paid someone to do it. Just keep the money." He says with an expression that says he wants you to fuck off but you aren't going to give up so easily.

Going away with free money is easy. But you're not gonna do that. It's a large sum of money that you received. And you need to manage this event to enhance your portfolio. Grabbing this opportunity is so far your biggest achievement. If you do this you'd be able to kick all the asses that laughed on your face when you told them your career choice was becoming an event manager.

And your stubbornness resulted into the gentleman bringing you to a café to explain to you why he wants to arrange everything by himself. How much it means to him. What Si-young denies to accept.

"Her dad died when she was nineteen. She was abroad studying when he was on his deathbed. I was by his side through out his sickness. And his dream was to have a perfect wedding for his only daughter. Look she's the only thing he ever had. Her mother died before he could marry her. He meant a lot to me because you see my dad all our fortune drinking and gambling. Uncle took me in and provided me with the best of opportunities and education and in turn it helped me send money to my family. He saved us and now I want to fulfill his last wish and dream. That's why I want to arrange the whole wedding. Ensure everything is absolutely perfect. Si-young likes to flex her money, she thinks just spending lots of money will get her the perfect wedding day. She doesn't understands only someone who deeply cares and loves her would ensure perfection." You feel attacked and he surely knows he's being rude to make you run but you're not going to, not so easily.

You've had enough experience dealing with people who won't trust you. Parents of brides and grooms, brides and grooms themselves, even your own parents.

You quickly pull your tablet put and open your browser which already has a tab open with your website on it.

"Well Sir I'd like to tell you I've been an event manager with an expertise in wedding planning for two years now. I've successfully managed a hundred weddings now and this is my profile. As you can probably see with your own eyes I'm able to put up the best possible events." You tell him proudly because nobody else ever takes pride in you.

"Look I've told you I want to do it and I'm going to do it no matter how much you try to" he says again and you can't bear it anymore.

You lash out "You don't understand how hard I've worked to get here alright. I've worked my ass off the past four years. Two years as an intern where I worked like a dog and then at my own company. I have been able to get here based on sheer hard work and nothing else. I'm not gonna let you snatch it away from me." He watches your nostrils flare, and your skin turn red.

"Alright calm down. Take a deep breath" he says before he sighs.

"Please" You can't believe yourself and takes everything in you to stoop like this but you speak the word out.

It's the way you ask him that he relates to you in some sense. He knows what working hard is like and can tell from your eyes you're speaking the truth.

"Can we do it together then?" He offers.

You roll your eyes at him, contemplate then answer "fine"

"So easy.. you had to make it so hard" he chuckles and you look away trying to hide your smile.

"At least get a black coffee for self respect. You're embarrassing me along with yourself" You point out that you two have been sitting for too long without ordering something.

"Sorry" he mumbles before ordering.

"It's okay" you respond.

"You just wanna... keep... sitting on the same table" he asks fearing another outburst from you.

"People might misinterpret if I suddenly leave and sit somewhere else." You answer. Think it might benefit both of you.

"How so?" He asks. You don't understand if he lacks experience assuming he might have drowned himself in studies first and now work or he's just messing with you and having his own fun in it.

"We looked like we were fighting. They might think we were a couple... and we broke up" you answer clearing all his doubts.

"You're kinda clever you know" he says.

"No doubt" you answer.

Your coffees arrive and you both silently sip from your cups. He keeps glancing at you then at the table. Covers his mouth not known to you, he's covering a foolish grin, a blush because he can't stop looking at you and get reminded of how cute he found you in control of anger. How he adores a smart woman who can take a stand for themselves and don't give up.

"You know complete silence can be misinterpreted in a way too" he leans over the table folding his arms.

"Certainly" you agree. Also you are finding it impossible to resist the urge to talk to him.

A part of you is unable to believe you are having coffee even that you're sitting at the same table with a person who studied from one of the top business schools of the world.

"You want a sandwich or something... lemme compensate you for all the money you spent at least obviously I can't return you the time" he speaks looking around for the waitress. Before you can refuse he has already ordered two. You didn't say anything because you could hear your stomach grumbling in hunger. You hadn't eaten a proper dinner last night too.

"You know I kinda understand her dad and you too" your words grab his attention. He looks at you, fluttering his eyes, without any shame not moving them away.

"Hmm" he finds himself at a lack of words.

"It's pretty important to my dad too... That someday my wedding goes well if it happens. But we aren't really on good terms anymore so I don't really know what's gonna happen when the time comes" you tell him. Mustering the courage to finally open up. You've been in your shell for way too long now. It's been five months since you and your girlfriend broke up.

"What happened" he asks trying to not offend. "If you're comfortable to share" he quickly adds.

Your sandwiches arrive right before you start answering, "He wanted me to be an engineer but I had no interest in that area. So he didn't help me tuition for undergrad or anything at all. Mom is a homemaker so she couldn't help me as such. Then when I started my business even then he didn't give any seed money or anything. So far I've been able to manage on my own so I guess I'll arrange my own wedding by myself too. I've got one life, I'm gonna live it out on my own terms. I don't give a fuck anymore" you bite a huge piece off your sandwich not caring what he thinks.

"I'm proud of you" he mutters.

You are surprised to hear that and make no efforts to hide that, "What... what did you just say?" You ask.

"Oh you heard it. You're strong and self made so..." he scratches his nape nervously.

"Thanks" you tell him.

You take another bite of your sandwich.

"Also my parents don't know that I'm bi" You blurt out, kinda on purpose to see if he's gonna back off because of that but it doesn't budges him. He seems to be absolutely fine with it. And there have been many who have left after you state that fact about yourself.

When you both finish eating you walk outside the café together.

"Sorry for wasting your time like that" you apologise. "You seem like you have a serious job"

"No it's not like that... it's all for Si-young and she means a lot to me, even more than my own siblings." He quickly explains.

"Wine tasting tomorrow 5pm" You remind him although he must already have it pinned on his schedule.

"See ya" he leaves after getting in his car. He wanted to ask you to get in the car and drop you wherever it was you needed to go but he had a meeting in an hour and had to prepare for it.

The next day, you meet again. You feel guilty of the excitement of sorts that you hold in your heart to meet him again.

You thought about him all day long the day before, all night and all morning. He was beautiful and kind. Inspiring and caring. You'd never met a guy like that before.

You skip your usual pants and shirt work outfit and instead wear a dress. With a denim jacket on top and boots to walk in.

The wine seller was not a long distance away from your place. You had a home office setup and were saving for an actual office.

You find that Jungkook has already reached the location and was waiting for you. You feel embarrassed not knowing for how long he's been there.

He walks upto you and greets you and you do the same. You walk inside together.

"We have a booking for a wine tasting" you ask the receptionist who points at an old man sitting in a corner. She asks him to take over.

You and Jungkook sit at a table with glasses placed in front of you. The old man uninterested to work asks you to just tell whichever tastes best after showing you samples from what they offer at weddings. You know that the place has the best wines so you don't object towards the behaviour.

"Should we try this one first?" He asks.

You both try the same wines and wait for a few seconds for the taste to settle in.

"No way" You answer. He chuckles and nods.

"OK, trust me this isn't their best" you tell him quickly not letting him doubt your choice of wine seller.

"You've had the best one before?" He asks.

"Yeah someone gifted me once" you get reminded of your ex who brought it for your anniversary. It brings back all the bitter memories from your breakup. It was the longest, strongest relationship of your life yet it ended in such a bad way. You still haven't completely forgotten her.

"Jungkook" you take his name as if he's a friend of yours.

"Yeah everything alright?" He senses the change in your tone and expressions because he hasn't looked anywhere else.

"Can you... can you please taste these and tell me which one you like best? I'm sure you have a great taste in alcohol." You request him. He looks at you and nods.

He picks up a glass and drinks from it. You're sure he must have a hundred questions rushing through his mind but he's not asking them out of politeness.

"Don't wanna kill you with curiosity it's just because my last ex and to be honest one of the best ones brought the best wine from here for our anniversary so I don't wanna taste it and remember it all again. It was pretty terrible... the break up" you purse your lips.

"I'm not curious about those things" he sips another wine and makes a face furrowing his eyebrows. You don't know what to make of it, it looks like he's gonna get angry at you for bringing you to a place which has not a single good one.

"How are these their bestsellers... like what the fuck is even happening here" you look around to call someone and ask them if they actually arranged you the best samples.

"No wait... fuck.." he takes another sip. "Heaven" a moan escapes his mouth before he presses his lips together.

"You like it? I was worried, thought you were gonna get angry at me" you sigh in relief and he laughs, giggles looking at your face.

"Why would I ever get angry at you?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"I boasted about this particular place so I'm bound to be questioned if it doesn't turns out as per the expectations I have planted in someone else's mind. Part of my job is to have a varied taste because different people like different things and I have to cater to their needs accordingly." You speak and he was mesmerized with you.

"You speak so well... damn. You really are passionate about what you do" hee says.

"Yes I am" you confirm.

"I like people with passion for their jobs" he says. You feel butterflies in your tummy. You know how he's indirectly pointing at you.

"So... should I go sort it out with them?" You ask.

"You know... you could drink some other wine. I don't like getting drunk alone" he says.

"Well if you feel like that" you buy a mid range bottle for yourself and ask for a glass. It's not necessarily a place to sit and drink in, yet you two are the only ones there. And you don't like making people feel lonely so you'd better get a little drunk too. And wine makes you feel kinda cosy, drunk but still like yourself.

You can see that he is tipsy. He buys the wine he liked for himself. Once you're both finished you step outside the store.

"How did you get here?" You ask.

"Took a cab" he answers. "Driving wouldn't have been a smart thing to do if I knew I was gonna drink" he adds.

"Don't you have like drivers" you ask curiously. The alcohol starts to have it's effects with the passage of time.

"Not me" he answers your query.

"Hope you aren't getting late for any plans" he says checking if you haven't forgotten about something.

"Why are you curious now?" You smirk.

"Don't want you to blame me later that I got you drunk"

"I drank out of my own will. Just say you're curious to know if I have a partner. I can sense your intentions very well Jeon" you walk away from him but he giggles and steps closer again. You move away again and he pulls you, gently holding your arm.

"Hey I have no such intentions" he denies.

"I'm not so naive to not notice" you keep walking forward with a straight face.

You are certain of what's going on inside his mind. You were sure of your attraction when you first saw him. You've had enough of crying over your ex and remembering the things she did to you. All you need is someone else to do even better things to you.

"By the way... how old are you?" He asks hesitantly.

"Not a minor for sure" you try to annoy him.

"Real age please ma'am" he rolls his eyes.

"Turning 24 in a couple months" you tell him wondering if he's older than you or if he would be uncomfortable that you're younger than him.

"I'm 26, means I can talk informally with  you" he states without you asking.

You don't know why you keep walking further. Even though you know you should just take a cab and go back home yet it's like you're waiting for something. You want to just get even the glimpse of an opportunity. Even though a part of you knows it's not completely right but that adds to the thrill of it all.

"Are you sure you don't have someone waiting for you?" You ask him indirectly.

You are begging inside your heart to know that he's single.

You can't stop the trail of dirty thoughts that follows as you see his skin shining with the layer of sweat that's covering his face. He flicks his lip ring with his tongue, you see him bite his lip before he looks at you with a hint of lust in his eyes.

"Umm no. I have been single for like two years now. My ex left behind a lot of damage too. Took me a lot of therapy and strength to get through it all. We dated four years, I thought she was the one and only and well..." he pauses. You understand what he means and nod.

"I'm sure your little heart will heal" you pat his chest lightly and he smiles. His hand brushes yours as he shifts to walk closer to you even though you barely had an inch between you two.

The image of him biting his lip replays in your mind. You glance at his lips again which he parts making you avert your gaze before he notices.

He's in a leather jacket, white t-shirt, black skinny jeans. Your eyes travel south and get a quick look at the fabric hugging his toned thighs. You wonder if how many abs he's got under the shirt. Fuck, you can't believe your brain is fantasizing about a man you've only met twice when the sun has just started to set.

"You're curious about so many things right now but you aren't asking isn't it?" You smile looking at him. Try to ease the tension because you can sense it building in him too.

"Oh come what do you think I'm even curious about?" He scoffs.

"We're all curious about things Jungkook" you say. You almost trip over a rock but he holds your hand. He keeps holding it just in case you lose balance again. You both are equally tipsy.

"Well what are you curious about?" He asks after a moment.

"Well you know like what happens after death? What will happen to me if the number of people getting married keeps decreasing? What cock tastes like?" The last one makes him cough and stare you.

"You're so drunk" he says.

"Not so much" you tell him.

"Then repeat what you just said" he says

"Why?" You fold your arms over your chest narrowing your eyes at him.

"Why is that a thing you're the most curious about?" He blurts out.

"You're asking like you have some position open for a blow job giver" you joke.

"Like you'd apply for the job" he adds.

You look around people don't give a fuck they're busy minding their own business. You regret saying what you said but yet you let go.

"Have you been to the wedding venue yet?" You ask changing the topic.

"Just checked it out on the internet" he says.

"Wanna go check it out?" You ask.

"I'm kinda tired what about tomorrow?" He offers.

"We've only walked like 500 metres" you chuckle.

"I'm sure it's more than a thousand" he says.

You reach the bus stand from where you can get a bus to your place. He stands beside you.

"You should get a cab. I'll just get on the bus." You tell him. You sense the disappointment in his eyes, but for some reason he doesn't express his desire.

"Okay. If that's what you want" he takes his phone out from his pocket.

You feel foolish waiting for him to turn around and say something. He keeps tapping his foot on the ground, looking at his phone.

The next day arrives after much anticipation. You get late, losing time in doing makeup.

The blood rushes to your cheeks everytime you think about him. You slept last night dreaming about his face, his lips, his delicate features.

You wait on the road for the cab to arrive. Jungkook texts you that he's on his way.

The banquet's in a hotel where the ceremony will take place.

Last night you both had no other options. You don't think each other's homes would've been a great option and there were no motels in sight either. He didn't even bring his car which could've been a compromise you would've made.

Now being in a hotel means you have the opportunity on hand you just have to catch it.

You give him a tour of the place. You have permission to enter the hotel at any time since they all know you are a wedding planner and you're managing an event there in a month.

As soon as he finds you both in a secluded corner he's quick to make the offer.

"You do know what I'm expecting?"

"What? For me to pay for lunch?" You tease him.

"For your curiosity to die" he answers.

"I don't wanna die so young" you tell him.

"Sure can't before you taste cock" you cringe hearing him phrase your words. You know it's just skin and flesh, it can't have it's own taste. It's not like pussy which you've tasted many times but only your ex's. You were drunk, wanted to be suggestive towards him and hence made that up.

"Well I don't have anyone right now whom I'd like to suck off" you tease him more. Kinda like to watch him get desperate.

"Think again" he says. You almost laugh but like how direct he's acting. He has hope evident in his eyes.

"Thought so hard my head hurts" you answer to play a level further than him.

"You're killing me" he says making you walk backwards and hit your back against the wall. Although he keeps his hand behind you so that you don't get hurt.

"No I'm not" you say.

"I'll buy you pretty things" he says. Keeps his hands beside your head.

"I'm weird I don't like pretty things" you joke, enjoy the way he hisses with frustration.

"Then I'll buy you ugly things. Or whatever you like..."

"Excuse me.. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy" you clarify. He sighs. Gets closer.

"I know you want me and you're fighting it. And I want you so bad... you can't even imagine" you hold to him for support as he stands dangerously close to you, staring into your eyes. You pull him a little closer and with the tip of your tongue lick his lower lip. The metal of his lip ring feels cold as your tongue glides over it.

Before he ends up losing all control, he takes your hand and barges into an open room. You raise your eyebrows finding it very questionable what he just did.

"I already booked it" he smirks before he  sits on the edge of the bed and pulls you above his lap.

You sit on him a bit hesitantly knowing he has a growing erection underneath his pants, causing him to act like this.

"Don't act so innocent" he whispers before pulling you closer with his hands on your hips. His hardness presses to your crotch.

You wrap your legs tighter around him.

He tangles his fingers with your hair. You lean closer to him but he doesn't kisses you. You try to get your lips on his but he keeps moving his face, touching his lips and his nose on your cheeks and neck and behind your ears.

"Don't" you whisper.

"Like you didn't" he puts a peck on your lips then pulls back again before you can fully kiss him. You let out a complaining groan and give up on trying to kiss him. He'll do it on his own because you know he wants it too.

"So desperate aren't you..." he presses his lips near yours. "Yet you were giving me such a hard time"

"You were the one denying your very obvious interest in me... and I was kinda nervous because I've never before hooked up with my clients or anyone related" you tell him. He chuckles.

"That's because you help people plan their weddings silly... it would be really problematic if you hook up with someone who's about to get married" you laugh at his words. The vibrations of your laugh travel to him, as both of your chests remain pressed together.

"And if it's not them it's their parents, that's way worse" you both giggle before he tucks your hair behind your ear and finally kisses you.

You hold his head to not let him go and slowly move your tongue into his mouth. He reciprocates your actions with the same passion you show. He gently grazes his teeth over your lip. You squeeze his nape lightly.

His hands travel down your neck and you look down as he unbuttons your shirt. It's brown to go with your black trousers. Your bra is just a cotton one. You washed your only lace one and it didn't dry in time to wear in the morning.

Jungkook cups your breast as he kisses down your cleavage. You fiddle with his buttons too. You really want to see what's underneath. He's insanely beautiful for a man and you feel jealous of his soft, silky hair. You have to carry out a whole ten step haircare routine through out the week to keep your hair frizz free and prevent dryness.

When he kisses you again, you grind yourself against him a little. He moans into your mouth. It's evident how close to the edge he is.

"You know if you want I can help you with that" you say as you feel wetness seep from your own folds as you stay pressed against his hard cock.

"Oh please... please..." he pulls himself away a little. Palms himself before you move his hand away.

You keep your hand on his chest and make him lie down. You have always liked how bouncy hotel mattresses tend to be. He giggles but quiets down as your hand reaches the button of his jeans.

You grip him from above his clothes and he pushes himself up against your hand. You unbutton his jeans after rubbing him for a few seconds.

Slowly you pull down his boxers too. And adore how pretty and thick he is. Your first man in four years and you're glad to grab a nice one. You feel evil to think of him like this but who cares, you both are just here to fool around, have fun.

You had a boyfriend when you were around nineteen to twenty and since then you only dated women. You did go on a couple dates with guys but none of them worked out.

You pull his jeans down his hips around his thighs. His cock is fully hard, the tip shines with precum. You make him lose his shirt too revealing the tattoo sleeve. You had gotten a glimpse of tattoos sneaking up his sleeve but had no idea that he had a whole hand full of them.

"Pretty tattoos" you remark and he smiles grazing his fingers on his arm.

"Tell me about them after you cum" you say making him chuckle.

"For that you have to start somewhere... I'm dying please" he whines.

You're quick to oblige. Your hands wrap around his dick. You give him a few pumps before licking his length.

You keep moving your hands around the base as you suck the top. He let's out muffled moans as you continue.

Somehow you get lost in the way he moans, knowing it's because of you, that you still can make people feel good. You were skeptical of yourself for a while after your ex labelled sex with you at the end of your relationship as average. You had always had a thrilling sex life with your partners, trying new things, new locations, new positions and techniques yet somehow you grew boring to her.

And here a man lay in front of you, groaning and moaning, definitely not faking it, with the way he was twitching and throbbing inside your mouth.

You keep going without thinking much. You find him responding well and if you keep doing it he'll reach climax and that is what you want for him, to get some release. He's been stressed about his cousin's approaching wedding and you assume his work life must be hectic too.

He grabs your hair in his fist trying his best to not hurt you. His grip loosens as you feel a warm liquid fill your mouth. The taste is a mix of things you can't describe with just one word. Before you swallow the first spurt another gets released out from his tip. Your clit throbs so bad, your heart beats so fast, you feel so wet, you just want to pull your pants down and make yourself cum if nobody's gonna do it for you. You feel an ache in your pussy and an urgent need to relieve yourself from it.

Jungkook lies with his head buried in the pillows. When he looks at you there's a shine to his face, his eyes. He has no care for how he came so much that too in your mouth.

"Either you make me cum right now or I'm making myself" you say pushing your trousers down as you lie beside him. You throw your shirt away too.

"Alright do it then..." he says. "Let's see how hard you can make yourself cum" his words sends another chill down your spine.

"Well then" you sit comfortably on the bed. Then part your legs. He watches carefully. You slowly push your panties to the side. Touch your clit and moan as the touch feels heavenly.

But the way that your pussy is all wet and messy and pretty Jungkook can't resist the temptation.

He sits beside you and slowly trails his hand up your thigh. You continue to rub your clit not caring what he thinks. Why would you do it's not like he means anything to you.

He doesn't removes your finger instead pushes his into your hole. "Fuck" you moan as he tries to find the sweet spot.

You increase your pace of stroking your clit.

With his free hand, he pushes the fabric of your bra down to expose your breasts just enough to get access to your nipples. He circles his thumb around the hardened buds.

As his finger continues to circle on your g-spot, he wraps his mouth around your nipple. His tongue circles around. He sucks trying to take in more of your boob into his mouth. You find it hard to maintain your rhythm of clit rubbing.

Yet as you find yourself too close to the climax, you're motivated to keep going. You just know it's going to be very hard. And with your moans and expressions, he finds his motivation too. He presses the tip of his finger against your walls.

You feel an unbearable pressure build inside you. Desperately trying to get relief. He's amazed how fast your hand starts moving. His eyes don't move away from your cunt neither does his finger pressing on your g-spot.

He takes your tit inside his mouth again. Your moans intensify as it finally snaps. Your thighs shake, you see the stars, think you've died for a second. It travels from your head to toe. You remove your hand but he doesn't.

Through the overstimulation he brings to you another unbearable pressure which turns into a wave of pleasure as you lose all control and squirt, shaking uncontrollably. Jungkook pulls his hand away and watches as you rub yourself again and spray more of the liquid soaking the sheets. You keep rubbing yourself and an orgasm combines with it. The control of your body has gone from you to your orgasm.

Jungkook moans watching you as his hand reaches his own cock thats hard again. He starts to pump himself as you catch your breath, your body still shakes.

"You surely enjoyed that" he says.

"Very much" you answer.

"Can we fuck now?" He asks. It's inevitable. You didn't think you'd come this hard in front of him. You look at his cock hard and ready to fuck you senseless.

Your lingering gaze tells him enough. He takes position above you. And before you know his tip is massaging your insides as he thrusts himself again and again.

Your phone starts suddenly ringing and with the surprise he sits up still holding his shaft. You fumble with the objects inside your handbag and take your phone out.

It was the hotel manager telling you they've arranged a special meal for you and your guest. Jungkook rubs himself against your clit and you almost moan yet he doesn't stops instead smirks.

As soon as you cut the call, he starts to fuck you again this time relentlessly. You both struggle to hold for long and come within minutes. He pulls out at the right moment, makes a mess all over your tummy and you clench around nothing as a short quick orgasm washes over you.

It's hard to speak after what you two did. You decided to take turns to shower. Thankfully you had an emergency pair of panties in your handbag which remains there all the time in case you unexpectedly start your period.

It's a rooftop setting where your food was. You had developed an appetite after the things you did that had tired you out immensely. You hadn't expected this at all, you were firm before entering the room that you'll just make out with him but so is life and it's happenings, one thing leads to another.

You sit across the table from Jungkook.

"It got a little crazy I'm sorry. I just lost..." he interrupts you and you wait for him to speak, "It was so fucking good... don't you dare try and deny that" he gives you a serious look and you chuckle.

"It'd been a while since I had fun like that. Sometimes one needs that right?" He nods, mouth stuffed with food. Would've bought you food regardless the hotel offered it or not.

"Bet you can say Si-young did a good job hiring me?" You joke.

He bites his lip before he laughs lowly.

"We're done with bookings now. I talked over a few things with the hotel. Guess I'm gonna see you for the final checks now" you speak in a low tone.

When you think about it you're gonna miss him even though it isn't a long time that you two spent together. There's just something about him that does something to your heart which you don't understand.

"Actually I have to go on a trip abroad and I don't know how long it's gonna take to wrap up the work although I'll be here for the wedding anyhow" he tells you. His voice is low. You know how much he wants to look after preparations firsthand.

"Hey don't worry. I hope you have some sort of trust on me now. I'll work my ass off to make sure your sister has the perfect wedding. And I'll give you updates every fifteen minutes." You say reach his hand that rests on the table.

"I'm counting on you" he says tightly holding your hand.

"You can" you answer.

Over the next few weeks you try to make contact with him but the time difference makes it impossible for you to have a conversation with him in real time. Mostly you send him updates regarding the wedding which is just work for you.

On a lucky day, you catch him online at an ungodly hour. You find out he's drunk. He keeps mentioning the sex you both had. Explains in detail, the things he liked which is almost everything about it. You're surprised he remembers it in such detail.

He sends you a pic of his erect penis says he's thinking about how you came and he hopes you look at it and make yourself come even harder. Everytime you are playing with yourself, you do remember the way his fingers worked and try to replicate it. The orgasms are strong that way and with his image in your mind even more.

You have no idea how you're gonna get him out of your mind. Although it brings you some peace that you're in his mind too.

He was in another country, he could be fucking anyone. It's not like he has to try too hard to get some. Yet he was thinking about you while jerking off. He liked the parts which others found a mess and a pain in the ass.

It was the nicest feeling to have someone accept you, appreciate you, like the way your body is and the way you are.

Much to your disappointment, he could only arrive on the day of the wedding. Hours before the ceremony starts. You had completely forgotten about his arrival, drowned in work as you were.

You were checking the lighting and flowers all around the place when two hands touched your shoulders. You turn around freaked out. Although it could be a friend from the staff trying to tell you to relax.

When you look at him you can't belive that he made it. He hugs you and presses a kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you so much for looking after everything so well" he thanks you but you shake your head.

"I'm getting paid" you say, then whisper "a big sum" you add. Although money hadn't been the only motivation for you to work hard on this project.

"Look at you" he fixes your hair, "What has become of you? You work hard more than you need to" he lightly pats your cheek before he guides you to a room at the back.

"Now show me the dress you're wearing.  Will wank in advance so I don't get too horny if you're gonna look too hot" he says.

"What... there's no dress I'll just be wearing what I'm already wearing" you glance at yourself in the mirror, you put on a shirt with embellishments to look not too plain. You don't get ready for every wedding that you plan.

"Good I bought you one. I just saw this while walking on the street and thought how good this'll look on you" he opens his bag and takes a packet out. He rips it open and gives you the dress.

"And you're still interested in me? The time was enough to fall in love with someone new" you say as if he had ever been in love with you.

"I'm not so easy" he says.

"Tell someone else" you respond with a smug look on your face. He chuckles.

"Now are you gonna change or..." he begins to undo the buttons of your shirt.

You think of taking over for a moment but then let him do it.

You help him pull the shirt down your arms leaving you in your bra. His hand reaches your back and he unhooks your bra.

"Hey..." you hold his hand to stop him.

"What? The dress is padded" you hadn't really noticed even when he was showing you the dress you were just busy looking at him.

Your bra slips off and his hand wraps around your tits. He squeezes them then sucks your nipples one by one, covers your whole chest with small kisses. You feel the wetness growing, you can't get too distracted. You have to go out or everything will fall apart.

His hand goes down your navel and rests between your thighs. Your breath hitches as he presses his fingers against your pussy.

"Oops made you wet. Don't worry will gladly help you with it..." he smirks and you remain numb as he slips his hand inside your panties.

The tip of his middle finger presses against your clit. You whimper.

"I don't have time" you complain.

"Alright" he starts to rub you. Circles his finger around your clit.

You were so wet, so aroused. You started to grind yourself on his hand and suddenly came, your juices gushing, clit throbbing against his finger, thighs shaking, you hold him for support.

"Told ya" he chuckles then pulls his hand away and hands you the dress to wear.

You like the dress, it was complimenting his outfit when you two stand together.

He stands behind you and holds your hand bringing it to his throbbing hardness. You rub your fingers on him a little bit then turn towards him.

"I need to be out there to make sure you can ensure the perfect wedding for your cousin." You touch his cheeks.

"Wait for me here after the reception is over. I'll get here and then I'll make you make up for it" you nod giggling before you leave.

When you left the room, you had no idea this was the last time you were ever going to talk to him.

This was the last time you were ever going to see him.

You did come to the room and wait like he asked but instead of him a girl came.

Said she was just made his fiancé and was supposed to wait for him there like the bride had told her to.

You knew who the girl was. You knew where she sat. She was from a business family too.

In the end, like always you got proved wrong. Money emerged victorious over human emotions or feelings.

You might plan a thousand weddings after that but he will always remain a distinct memory. A mysterious man who won your heart in a way you could never describe.

#jungkook fanfic #jeon jeongguk #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook oneshot #bts fanfic #jeongguk #jungkook x you #jungkook imagines #bts jungkook #jungkook angst

[causenessus]

Love Languages. | Bungou Stray Dogs

inc: dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, tecchou, jouno

written in 2nd pov (female reader implied)

song recc: do you love by trish toledo & baby bash

word count: 2324 words

pretty sure everything is written in lowercase except for names if they didn't look ugly capitalized bc aesthetics !!! had tons of fun writing this I apologize, this is barely proofread and for literally every character I got too caught up in specific examples and scenarios and just kept building off of it but I think they're kind of sweet so I hope u enjoy <3

dazai osamu - acts of service

“she peels an orange for us in the morning / she woke me up to give me half” golden girl - frank ocean

he’s terrible at taking care of himself, so someone who takes the time to care for him just makes every wall crumble

he’s probably horrible at remembering to eat as well, so if you make something for him he’ll treasure it forever

bonus points if your job requires you to wake up earlier than him (which isn’t hard, he def comes in a little later than his coworkers) and you leave something for him to eat when he wakes up or to take with him to work (or both <3)

he’ll start to look forward to waking up in the mornings in hope that you’ve made him something

never asks you if you’ll make something in specific or if you’ll even make him something at all. he adores anything you make and doesn’t want to make you feel obliged to do something if you happen to be tired and don’t want to cook tomorrow

voices all his appreciation for you when you both have laid down to go to sleep

“bella, I can’t tell you how much it means to me, all that you do. you really don’t have to make me anything if it’s a hassle in the morning or when you get home. you already work so hard.”

you turned onto your other side to face him, pushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear as you smiled, “I do it because I want to, ‘Samu. and because I love you. if I can’t spend the day with you because we’re both at work, at least I can take care of you.”

his chest buzzed with so much happiness his eyes stung for a moment. he held himself back from saying that he didn’t deserve you. saying something like that wouldn’t solve anything. instead, he’d make himself worthy of you by helping out as well

he probably can’t cook very well but he finds other ways to help, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, getting groceries, and cleaning the place so that there’s less on your plate

ask him to do anything and he’ll get it done for you as soon as possible <3

I think that for him, receiving such sweet love without any words is foreign to him but is just what he needs. he’d rather show how much he loves you than say it (although he loves to tell you it as well). getting out of bed could be so difficult for him some days, yet having a goal for himself has motivated him to become a better person. he wakes up, excited for what you may have made him and ready to do whatever he can for you

nakahara chuuya - gift giving

“they asked, ‘do you love her to death?’ I said, ‘speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’” - mahmoud darwish

it’s easier for him to express how much you mean to him by giving you everything you want and everything he thinks you would like

he still tells you that he loves you every chance he gets, but oftentimes it is accompanied by a gift, no matter how small it may be, from just a single rose to a whole garden

for him, it gives a new purpose in his work; he’s working in order to get you whatever your pretty heart desires

he’s proud to use his hard-earned money to buy you things (rather than spending it all on wine <3 ily chuuya)

the easiest thing he can always get you is a favorite snack or drink and he’s got a whole system for it

he knows every store it’s available at and many of the clerks are familiar with him from the sheer amount of times he’s visited them to buy something for you. it never grows old for him, his favorite thing to do is buy you something on his way home from work or during the day when he’s planning to surprise you with a visit

he keeps a mental list of what your favorite things are. you’ll tell him about something you like without thinking anything of it but he’s already planned out when and how to give the item to you. it’s always on his mind what he’ll buy you each day, and it’s always worth it seeing you enjoy whatever he’s bought you

sometimes it’s as simple as a coffee and he’ll drop by your work to give it to you in person

“hanging in there, Angel? need a little pick-me-up?” he has the biggest smile on his face every time he sees you, and bringing a gift for you with him only adds to his excitement

“you spoil me, Chuuya,” you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning further into him as he holds you in his arms.

“what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” he responds, rubbing your back as you sigh.

receiving gifts from you is just as sweet. no one has ever given him as many gifts as he’s given others–which is fine with him–it’s not about what he’ll get in return and he knows that not everyone expresses their love the way he does

but he’s touched whenever you get him something. since giving gifts is so meaningful to him, it means even more that someone would go through the trouble to give something back to him

he’ll keep whatever you get him close to him at all times and smile every time he sees it or remembers it

once, you bought him a new chain for his hat and he hasn’t changed it since. it only made the hat more special to him now that it reflects two people that had changed his life

akutagawa ryunosuke - words of affirmation

“my love, you are worth it all.”

we all know how the boy responded to dazai’s praise or even simply just the words “dazai wants to talk to you”

to hear a person who has persisted through his stubborn, aggressive defense say they still love him causes him to start to soften for you

he’s been surrounded by harsh words and people who have exploited him and brushed him to the side whenever he wasn’t needed all his life, so it stirs his heart to hear someone notice things about him and who tells him that they want to stay with him

it’s something reserved for solitary moments just between the two of you for sure, but that makes the time all the more special because he can let down his guard and just be with you

his past has made it hard for him to believe he is worthy of anything other than the murderous skills he’s harnessed in order to get him to where he is in the Mafia, but you’ve shown him that there’s more to him than just how well he can use Rashomon

he never bothers to try and listen to what other people are saying but he always gives his full attention to anything you have to say

he doesn’t even like to hear compliments from anyone else, he doesn’t trust them at all but he trusts and believes anything you tell him, knowing you have the purest intentions of loving and supporting him

after a job, all he wants to do is go home. by the end of the day, he’s sick of everyone around him so on the rare occasion that you decide to visit him, he won’t even notice until you call out to him

he had just finished a job, it was successful, but it had gotten messy. Mori had already told him off and he didn’t want to hear anything from anyone else. he stormed past every piece of vermin that had decided to get in his way, their whispers just barely reaching his ears

“Ryu!” you called out from amongst them, waiting by a door.

“What?” he hadn’t meant to snap, especially when he realized it was you talking to him and his face immediately relaxed when he saw you.

“oh, [y/n].” he immediately started to make his way towards you, the pounding in his head slowly starting to disappear the closer

“I came to pick you up, I’m glad I had good timing,” you smiled, offering your hand.

he took it gently, giving it a soft squeeze, “I’m sorry I responded so rudely, I didn’t–”

“you’re okay, Ryu,” you placed your other hand on top of it, looking him straight in the eyes, keeping a loving smile on your face, “you don’t ever have to be sorry. you’re doing just fine. even better, actually. I’m so proud of all your work and I’m sure you’re tired after everything today. it looked busy.”

the words erased every memory of Mori’s scolding that his head had latched on to in order to beat himself down later on. he felt his cheeks warm a little as he looked away, “you’re too kind to me, [y/n].”

tries his best to also put into words his appreciation but it’s so hard for him to verbally say it; sometimes it comes out wrong

instead, he’s opted for notes most of the time, leaving them on your bedside or in your bag, telling you how thankful he is for you and that he loves you

suehiro tecchou - quality time

“on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and I wanted to look at you.” - mahmoud darwish

my boy is always so busy

as soon as he’s off work he just wants to be wherever you’re at

he’d doesn’t mind silence and doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s with you

sometimes gets off work and if you’re not home yet just sneaks into your workplace to be around you

adores following you around and doesn’t always know exactly what you’re doing but he’s just happy to tag along

grocery store dates are some of his favorite moments with you

he loves everything about convenience stores

he loves food and the endless aisles of colorful packages and choices

(it gives him ideas for new food combinations <3)

once bought a himalayan salt shaker simply because

“look [y/n]! they make pink salt :0”

later put said pink salt on top of strawberry ice cream bc they were both pink

he also loves getting to look around the store all the while following you. he admires your organized grocery lists and how you’ve already planned out what you’re going to buy

once you tried to send him out to grab something in an area you’d already passed so that you could continue going down the list

“can you go grab some carrots for me, love? sorry, I forgot to pick them up when we were in the produce section.”

“of course 🙂” his heart is shattering inside of him at the thought of being separated from you.

“do you want to stay with me and we’ll go back later?” you ask, looking up at him with a knowing smile.

“yes pls”

groceries stores are not the only place you guys go tho i promise

if you’re still in school, he’ll accompany you on study dates 

never bothers you under any circumstances and if he is and you tell him he’ll stop right away

he could spend all day looking at your pretty face even if you never once looked at him <3

jouno saigiku - physical touch

“you kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry / the sun has come this close, only the sun” “GPS” - Shauan Barbosa

although he can’t see you, he knows your body by heart <3

he’s spent so much time tracing it over and over with his hands

i think his favorite thing to do, especially after a long day at work is flop onto you and just listen to your heartbeat. probably also intertwines one of his hands with yours, often runs other across your skin

loves when you touch him just as much

if he’s lying on top of you and you decide to run a hand through his hair, all of his problems have just melted away

you both have definitely fallen asleep like that countless times no matter what time of day it is

he’s always finding ways to be in close contact with you, making sure that you’re safe and near him

again, he loves loves loves to hold your hand, he’ll reach for it any chance he gets

will also settle for an arm around your shoulder though as long as you’re close to him

definitely the type to also rest his head on top of yours or on your shoulder every chance he gets

if he needs to fidget he won’t even play with his own fingers he’ll just play with yours

i think that with the loss of one sense, the other senses hold so much meaning for him

it’s easier and more meaningful for him to show his love and how much he trusts you through touch rather than just saying it out loud

comes up from behind you to hug you a lot, especially in the kitchen or when you’ve just come home he’s there immediately, hugging you to recharge

“how was your day, my love?”

you always relax in his arms, turning your head slightly to kiss his face which he’s let rest on your shoulder, “it was missing you.”

he placed a chaste kiss on your lips, “i’ll make it all up to you now, darling.”

there was one time that he let you do his hair

he’s never told you how much he enjoyed it; he didn’t even know what you had done to it, but being near your warmth is all he needs and can ask for <3

#dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu #chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryunosuke x reader #tecchou x reader #tecchou suehiro x reader #jouno x reader #jouno saigiki x reader #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons

[aki-shun]

I don't know if you will accept this but can I get an Male Idol Mc x Savanaclaw. Fans of savanaclaw members pay for a special fan service with him. And as services can I ask Mc to wear a skirt or a dress.

Umm- After getting my life and other things in order, I went back to tumblr and started writing. I don't know if it was because of this or the cold I had, but I had a hard time writing and I drew a few sketches to make up for it, I hope you like it.

I don't remember if the gender of Jack's siblings was mentioned, but it is implied that he has a little sister and a little brother. Anyway I hope you like it

TW: Eng is not my first language, Feminization(?) not smut, but a little bit spacy drawings ;), maybe not but really a bit spacy, reader is a male but just used 'you' so you can read to if your a female or anythink-,Written by a writer who forgot how to write

Leona

Shit-I signed his hand with the veins I drew most beautifully.

Leona is a wealthy individual. That's why he has all kinds of products, whether limited edition or not. What do other people think of him? Rest assured, no one wants to turn into sand. That's why everyone in the palace is silent about this. The two rooms that the Cheka are not allowed to enter belong to Leona. The first one is his room, the second one is the room he reserved specifically for you. Of course, he has your products in his room too, but he still has a separate room for more and some special pieces.

Most of your concerts are at Sunset Savanah. Because your manager likes the amount that self-indulgent Leona pays for the 'personal space' he reserves for himself at your concerts. (No, your manager is not Azul or Ruggie). Regardless of your special events or fan meetings, he pays a premium for his own private 'fan event' meetings, let alone attending them all. At the end of the work, your manager is as happy as Leona :)

And again, at such a time, you accepted the request of your dear fan, who provided nearly 40% of the money you earned, to wear a skirt. Dear Seven- he was looking at you with perfect admiration but also like a mouse he was about to grab in his claws. After a few seconds of silence, he approached you, lifted you into the air and held you in his arms. Since this was the nth date you had stopped counting, you were used to this kind of thing. In fact, you liked receiving such behavior from such a person, whether it was because of his perfect face, wealth or perfect body.

If you feel uncomfortable, just let me know. No, I'm not disturbed. You just surprise me more and more every time. Aah~ then it's because your pulse is excited huh~

His face moved a little closer to you with his smug grin. He definitely had a face that could make him famous. No matter how flirtatious Leona was, he was trying not to get over the Idol-Fan relationship. (And yes, he still made you sit on his lap but- who wouldn't want that). One of his naughty hands tugged at the waistband of your skirt.

Leona. Your voice had a slightly harsh tone. Hahaha I'm just kidding but you know this will happen one day. Nothing like this will happen between an Idol and a fan. Who said our relationship would be Idol-Fan when that time comes?

He leaned into your right ear and said, 'You won't be an Idol forever and I won't be just a fan forever.'

Some feelings begin to arise in your heart because you are experiencing a scene that only weird writers can write. Maybe you can attribute it to the long time you spent with Leona, but my option is the first option :)

Jack

His siblings were always listening to you and they were constantly pressuring his younger siblings to take them to your concert. Your tickets weren't expensive, but they weren't cheap either.

One day, his siblingss came to him in a hurry. They showed him the screen and it showed that his new concert was near where they lived. Since the tickets had just gone on sale, they were cheaper. (I've never been to a concert in my life, so I don't know much about ticket prices, sorry). Moreover, there was a fan event for the first 30 ticket buyers, and their siblings didn't want to miss it. So he bought the tickets.

He wasn't your listener before the day of the concert, but after the concert is over - now you have a new fan, but he doesn't accept it. When it came to event time, it wasn't a big deal. It was a simple thing where there was some sort of meeting and talking to the fans and stuff. It was him and his siblings' turn to talk, and they were babbling on about how much they loved you until that moment.

[Name]-san, my brother runs away from me whenever I try to make him wear a skirt. Because this thing was so girly. I don't want to wear those stupid skirts! No, you're the stupid one!!

Great, his siblings are fighting in front of a stranger (you). You stop them while the fight is about to get more heated.

Why do you want to force your brother to wear a skirt? Because when he tries to wear trousers, he cannot remove his tail properly. That's why I wear a skirt for his, because it's easier. I'm not a girl! Only girls wear skirts! [Name]-san, can you show my brother that it is easier to wear a skirt? Let me show him..? Yes, would you wear the tail you wore with a skirt like in your concert in the City of Flowers?

Okay, your shocked, but if you reject your fan's request, you may get a lot of criticism from your manager, who is looking at you suggestively through the door. (That manager works for us, my friend 🙂).

O-okey, of course.

Jack is a little further away, just waiting for his siblings to finish their work. There is no more!

WHY IS THE SKIRT SO SHORT? Damn that tail you use looks like his- YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN TRY TO SPIN AROUND THAT TAIL. He's happy that you're such a kind idol to give your siblings a nice farewell hug. NO, HIS TAIL IS NOT WAGING. IT'S JUST THE WIND. YES, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE WIND BLOWS EVEN IN A ROOM COVERED WITH WALLS ON FOUR SIDES!? NOW YOU KNOW!!

These were his thoughts :)

Ruggie

I couldn't draw a skirt in this pose and since I was too lazy to draw a new reference, imagine that there was a skirt in this picture (!)

He is a listener who listens to you with pleasure. But don't you think your tickets are too expensive? This makes his hyena heart ache. It just so happens that one of your tickets flies into his hand while he's walking on the street. No, it wasn't in anyone's back pocket. That ticket floated in the wind and fell into his palm :) Moreover, it was not such a simple ticket.

Ruggie is a fan like a fan. Just a more frugal version. That's why we should make the most of this ticket for all our fans. Even if they can't see it.

◜Time skip because I have a brain that can't function properly anymore due to the flu I had😔◞

He may have forgotten that people other than him have this ticket. But that won't stop him.

[Name]-san, could you wear a nice skirt for us fans? We'd love to see this.

Yes yes [Name]-san. We would like to see this.- a fan A cute skirt with ruffles would be really nice. What do you think [Name]-chan 😊-M Manager..! How long have you been here? *whispering 😃-M (Ugh, that look again. I definitely have to change that manager somehow [those who support the manager to stay, raise your hand✋])

Oh Big Seven! Can I take a photo of [Name]-san??-a another fan A great idea! Why don't we include some of these pictures in your new photo album?-M Manager- Come on [Name]-chan, give us some nice poses!-M This bitc- *Don't worry, no one heard it

Our beloved Ruggie now has new home screen images.

⫯ Since I did it in a bit of a hurry, the pictures are only for the white-skinned reader, but if requested (I will do it even if not), I will also edit the images for the dark-skinned reader. If anyone wants, I can tag them when I post. Just write in the comments whether you want to be tagged or not ^^

#twisted wonderland #Idol!Au🌙 #twst #disney twst #male reader #twisted wonderland × male reader #twisted wonderland × bottom male reader #bottom male reader #savanaclaw #twst leona #twst jack #twst ruggie #savanaclaw x reader

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 40: The Maestro's Mark

Prev > Masterlist > Next

June 1905

TW: mind control, body control, captivity, human auction, abuse, burning, branding, mouth whump, forced self-harm, dissociation, this one's kind of a doozy isn't it

"Sir -- " Fitz's voice had returned to him, and he was dismayed to find it shaky and weak, much like his knees. Beside him, Miss Lily was gripping his chain so hard he thought she might crumble it to dust. "Sir -- who was -- "

"The Maestro, an old and powerful vampire lord. My sire, and Alexander's sire as well. The one responsible for turning us into vampires," Miss Lily said, picking him up into a princess carry. "I wasn't expecting him to be here. He normally does not purchase his thralls."

"Is he --" Fitz faltered with the amount of questions he wanted to ask, before settling on the most important one. "Is he cruel, sir?"

She hesitated to answer as she carried him backstage and out into the hallway. "...Yes," she finally said. "Yes, he is cruel. I'm sorry."

She sounded like she meant the apology, and Fitz's too-short life flashed before his eyes.

"What should I do, sir?"

"There's nothing you can do now. Nothing you can do but be obedient. Try to find the private places in your mind to retreat to, places where he can't reach. Eat whatever you're offered when you can. Sleep as much as possible. And never be defiant, even for the smallest matter. The price will never be worth it."

"...You seem as though you know what you're talking about, sir."

"I was his thrall, once."

It was a colorful and loud nightmare as Fitz was carried through the bustling hallway filled with vampires and their newly purchased thralls, talking and laughing and showing off their fashions. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that when he would open them, he'd be somewhere else. The lumpy couch in his drafty, shared apartment. His dressing room backstage. Even the opulent prison of his bedroom back at his family's home.

He'd found that unbearably oppressive at the time. Perhaps he'd been a fool to leave, after all.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a small room primarily occupied by a desk and a few chairs. A vampire in a fashionable black dress, her neck and ears dripping with jewels, entered the room. "Oh my, Lily, your expression is better suited for a funeral. You've sold your little project for an extravagant amount of cash. Whatever could be the problem?"

Miss Lily's face was sour as a lemon. "You know very well how I feel about my sire, Colette."

"His money will spend as good as everyone else's. If you ask me, you were a little too attached to this thrall."

"I don't care one iota about this thrall," she said, her grip tightening on Fitz's shoulders. "I just think that no one, not even a thrall, deserves the displeasure of serving my sire."

"And yet, I assume you'll want your share of the earnings."

"And yet."

The door opened, and Fitz's new owner entered the room. Perhaps it was Fitz's fevered imagination, but even the gas lamps seemed to flicker in response to the foreboding aura. He gave Miss Lily a small nod, and Fitz felt her fingers dig in tighter, painful.

"It's truly an honor to do business with you, Maestro, sir,"  said Miss Colette, settling behind the desk. "Now, then, sir, you'll owe eleven thousand dollars, unless you require any additional services..."

"No, thank you." He was staring at Fitz now, and it felt like icicles sliding down his back. Fitz couldn't help the impulse to look away -- and realized that he couldn't. He was caught hopelessly in the web of power once more.

His master, as soon as the money was handed over. His master forever. There would be no escaping a man like this.

Never be defiant. The price will never be worth it.

Never be himself ever again.

No, he had to snap out of it. There had to be a way out of this. Some way to charm him, to appeal, to get them both on the same side. There had to be. Weaseling out of bad situations was one of his specialties.

The Maestro was reaching into his coat and pulling out a pouch of what looked to be actual golden coins, as if he were some kind of royalty. Miss Colette didn't seem to regard this as strange, taking the coins from the pouch and weighing them on a small scale. Satisfied with the amount, she handed him a contract to sign.

"Now, if the transaction is complete," he said, "please leave so I can discipline my spawn and my thrall."

"Of course, sir." Miss Colette filed out of the room immediately.

Fitz's protests and his screams died in his throat, along with his desperate impulses to flee anywhere. He was under his new master's power again, frozen in time. He'd never escape, of course, but it still hurt to not even be allowed to try first, to be trapped in a treacherous body that wouldn't obey even his smallest commands.

"Lily," he said, approaching her, and Fitz realized that Miss Lily was holding him in front of her as though Fitz could shield her from her sire. "This thrall has an excellent bloodline and potential. Why did you train him improperly and allow him to make an embarrassment of you?"

"He's a performer by nature, sire, as I'm sure you can see," said Miss Lily, and she sounded as subdued and fearful as Fitz was, a far cry from her confident nature when enthralling him. "He is fully trained and obedient. I simply thought it was amusing to allow him to continue to perform, sire. Plenty of vampires would desire a thrall for entertainment. I don't think he's an embarrassment. It took skill to render him obedient while keeping his personality intact."

If Fitz could move, he would be nodding vigorously, appreciative of Miss Lily's defense.

"Yes. Performance is his nature, that much is true just by looking at him. But you need to be in better control of the thralls in your care, not allow them to preen and pose on the auction block." He reached past Fitz to touch Lily's hair, tucking loose strands of her hair into her bun. Fitz could feel her hands tremble. "Oh, child, I worry that I am too lenient on your soft heart. I don't understand what I did to be cursed with two spawn so gifted and yet so foolish."

"Thank you for your patience with us, sire."

"Indeed. And because you do often delight me, I will allow the punishment to be light."

"Yes, sire. Thank you, sire."

"Here. Take my knife." The Maestro held out a silver knife in a white-gloved hand, and Lily let go of Fitz's arm to take it. "You will find an unoccupied bathroom. You will remove your dress so that you do not bloody it. You will cut out your tongue. You will clean yourself and your surroundings thoroughly. You will then put your dress back on and join my other wayward spawn in the parlor."

Fitz's eyes widened at the description of the punishment, the only movement he could manage. He wanted to run. He wanted to scream. He couldn't do either. Miss Lily let go of his arms, and as she exited the room, head bowed low, he had the desperate, irrational impulse to stop her. True to her advice, she showed no sign of defiance, even when her sire was asking her to do the unthinkable -- as a "light" punishment. From the hard look in her eyes, he had no doubt that she was going to do it.

The door clicked shut. And Fitz was alone with his master.

The strange power forced Fitz's head up to look into the Maestro's eyes as he drew near, like a puppet on strings. With a surprisingly gentle touch, a gloved hand reached out and ruffled his hair, then hooked a finger under his chin and inspected his face from each angle. A soft finger traced down his neck and exposed collarbone, but there was no indication from his heavy aura that the vampire wanted to feed. There was no indication of any desire at all. Just control. Pure control.

What could he do to sway a man like this? He recognized his look, the man who was used to being the most powerful in the room, the kind who couldn't spare a scrap of tolerance for anyone else. No humor, no imagination. The kind of person Fitz usually avoided, or brought up on stage only to tease and get a response from the audience. On stage, Fitz held the power.

His new owner was center stage, now, and not one to relinquish the spotlight easily.

"Fitzwilliam de Hastings," said the Maestro in that musical voice. "You will answer my questions honestly. First -- do you fear me?"

Fitz felt his tongue loosen. This, at least, was an easy question. "Yes, Master."

"You are correct to. At least you are not that sort of fool. Now, tell me -- did you wish for my spawn Alexander to purchase you?"

He recalled the pathetic, fleeting hope he'd had when he'd flirted with Mr. Alexander in the showroom. Yes, yes he had, but he suspected that was the wrong answer. What had worked on Mr. Alexander wouldn't work here -- he needed to work a new angle. "I did think that at first, Master, but then you made that impeccable entrance. You're clearly the vampire all other vampires respect -- it's an honor to have been purchased by you."

The Maestro nodded, then removed one of his gloves.

A percussive crack rang through Fitz's ears, and it took his brain a moment to catch up and realize that he had been slapped hard across the face.

"Do not ever lie to me, child, and do not insult me with your cheap flattery. This is your only warning," his master said, in precisely the same tone as before, not betraying anger or disappointment or any emotion at all. "Try again. Did you wish for my spawn Alexander to purchase you?"

"Yes, Master," said Fitz immediately, praying that he wouldn't incur any further punishment. His tongue. He'd ordered Miss Lily to cut out her own tongue. And if his master wanted to do the same to him, there'd be nothing he could do about it, his very body out of his control.The thought of being permanently rendered mute, unable to joke and flirt and tease and perform --

It hadn't settled in before, had it? What it truly meant to be in thrall to a vampire. Between Miss Lily's mesmerism and his own hubris, he'd imagined himself getting out of this by charming the vampire, carving himself a better life through wit and charisma, as he'd always managed. But these vampires were so much more powerful than him and always would be. What good is wit against a creature who can control your body on a whim, or take your mind away with a word?

He couldn't save himself. No one was coming to save him. There was only him and his cruel new master, and he was unable even to express the despair bubbling up within him. A fate so much worse than death, inescapable.

The re-gloved hand stroked Fitz's cheek gently in the place that was still stinging from the slap. "Despite your ill manners, you have potential, Fitzwilliam. My darling Lily saw that in you, no doubt. A born performer with a compelling presence. Sharp minded. And so, so beautiful. A pity about your headstrong nature," he said. "But you needn't concern yourself. I only need to patiently carve away your imperfections. And I am a very patient vampire."

"Thank you, Master," said Fitz, who had never been more frightened of so-called praise in his life.

"More importantly, I believe you are the key to finally breaking my Alexander's will."

"...I don't understand, sir."

"Thralls aren't meant to understand, child. Thralls are meant to obey. And I have decided what young Alexander's lesson will be." He drew his hand away. "I will give you to Alexander."

Fitz couldn't help but furrow his brow, confused. That couldn't be right. 

"It will be a test for him. One that he will fail."

The Maestro pulled a small metal cylinder from his coat. He carefully lifted the glass from the lamp sitting on Miss Colette's desk, beckoning Fitz forward. Fitz felt himself sleepwalking towards his master, even as the Maestro dipped the metal object in the lamp's flame, even as Fitz realized with growing dread what was about to happen.

"He will forget you belong to me. He will desire to possess you, cherish you, perhaps even love you. He will believe he can rescue you from me. He will be incorrect. I will allow him to believe this, then I will take you from him, and I will break you, and suffering will be a teacher to you both."

Fitz's heart pounded.

"Kneel."

His puppeted body gracefully knelt upon the carpet, the crushed red velvet of his dress cushioning his legs, as he looked up in terror.

With a calm, unreadable expression, the Maestro pulled down the neckline of his ball gown and pressed the burning metal to Fitz's flesh, just below his collarbone.

He couldn't scream. He couldn't flinch. He couldn't fight or back away. He couldn't do anything but feel his eyes filling with tears as the white hot pain seared through his body.

Fitz barely even noticed when the brand was pulled away, because the pain hardly lessened. His master was examining his handiwork, and, seemingly satisfied, made Fitz's body stand.

There was no way Fitz could be standing through the shock and the pain, but the puppet strings controlling his every move made it so, forcing him to walk on weak and shaky legs.

"Now show your gratitude for my precious gift."

Fitz's body curtsied low. 

But Fitz's mind, flooded with pain and endorphins and magic, was traveling far away. Away from here, anywhere but here, anything but this. Anything but an inescapable descent into hell.

Prev > Masterlist > Next

Well, wasn't that fun.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @sowhumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot @cinnamoncandycanes @avvail-whumps

#whump #whump writing #vampire #mind control #vampire whumper #branding #rare bookseller #fitz #lily #maestro #colette

[lillymakesart]

more episode 5 discussion

tl;dr a continuation of my video dissertation on lilly.makes.tiktoks: (summary) mikio fell in love with mizu, they had their first argument, mama convinced mikio to turn mizu in, mikio did go turn her in. "love poisoned by betrayal" where mikio is the love, mama is the betrayal

i feel like mama's betrayal needs some more reading into in order to truly understand her motivations, because that pipeline going from caretaker to ultimate betrayal is so insane

mikio's petty actions (picking at mizu's insecurities by calling her a monster and taking away the horse he gifted to her) are all in line with a hurt, petty, toxic lover that just wanted to hurt mizu back in the way the she hurt him

what about mama? she has cared for Mizu all these years, had been her mother figure, and even reaped some benefits off of Mizu's arranged marriage. isn't turning her adoptive daughter into the very men she fought all her life to keep her safe from a bit too intense?

to wish such foul ill on someone must have taken years and years of built up resentment and vitriol. maybe if we look at the timeline from mama's perspective the motivation behind her betrayal would reveal itself

Fowler said that mama was Mizu's maid. not sure if this has any significance, but he didn't say nanny or wetnurse. maybe she was simply a maid that worked around the house and only tangentially caring for the baby. life in the estate must have been pretty cushy for her as she was generally sheltered and protected under her lord's care

but then assassins come for the baby, she is caught up in the mess, and she can only stand by and watch as Mizu's life hangs in balance before her. fate decides that Mizu should live, and she is shoved into mama's arms and the man tells her to take the devil child and run, and so she does. she leaves the cushy protected life of being a maid in the estate and becomes a homeless woman on the streets, now burdened with a crying baby and no idea what to do

at some point she turns towards a life of prostitution, which at this I'm guessing is her only option. this life must be terrible compared to her work at her lord's estate. perhaps the stress turns her towards opioids, and she becomes an addict

maybe a messenger keeps in contact with her and makes regular deliveries of money to continue caring for the baby. the money amount could have even been generous, enough to keep them off the streets in a respectable town, but with mama's addiction we all know where the money truly went.

one day the money stops, and mama can't get her opioids anymore. theoretically she could have continued caring for Mizu, but she'd rather work full-time as a prostitute and continue acquiring drugs than care for a child that she never wanted, was never even trained to care for. in fact, this child has brought her life lower than ever before, so of course she'd leave her

the resentment has already built up when Mizu was a child, but it really ramps into full force when she finds Mizu again as an adult

we can see some first signs of jealousy when Mizu tells mama that she "should never do that again, I earn money, more than enough" and mama replies "how honorable you turned out to be." the implication here is that mama thinks Mizu is accusing prostitution of not being honorable. Mizu does not have to suffer woman's work in the way that mama has because Mizu has lived as a man, and was permitted to learn an artisanal trade to earn money with. this is a luxury that mama will never know, and builds on the resentment.

when mama finds Mizu a husband, to the audience it seems like Mizu is the one doing the favor for mama, but for mama, this is the least Mizu could do for her in return for all those years of debased service caring for her. at least with Mikio things could somewhat start looking like mama's old life again, protected in a household, not having to worry about when the next meal would come in, and most importantly, a steady stream of income for drugs

but then Mizu blocks mama's drug money, forcing mama to go out and work for her drugs again (more discussion on this part in the tiktok video tl;dr my theory is that mama never stopped smoking and was secretly going out to work for her drugs and just keeping it a secret). this return to a debasement that mama thought she was finished with really drives home the hatred she has developed for Mizu at this point

from mama's point of view, Mizu is an ungrateful brat that ruined her life, stole her best years from her, forced her into prostitution, and now just when she was starting to get some return for all those years of turmoil, Mizu snubs her again by forcing her back into prostitution

when Mikio comes home that day after the duel, clearly angry with Mizu and looking for ways to hit her back, this must have been a point of weakness for mama where she just couldn't help but divulge the secret of Mizu's bounty. all those years she has held back her resentment and hatred, with no thanks or appreciation for what she has given up for Mizu's wellbeing, must have come crashing down on her as she let the bitterness and resentment win at this exact moment

it's not right, but it does make sense. mama betrayed Mizu in the ultimate way, but she too was once a victim send post

#mizu #mizu bes #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai fan theory #lillydrawsmizu theory #bes fan theory #blue eye samurai mama mizu theory #bes mama mizu theor #blue eye samurai episode 5 #bes episode 5 #blue eye samurai episode 5 theory #bes episode 5 theory

[mockerycrow]

Did you have a list of questions you brought with you to the recruiter? If so what were they? I’m planning on talking to a recruiter in late March/early April, I’ve been wanting to join the Navy for about a year and now that I’m finally coming up on the dates I’ve been planning I’m super anxious about what I’m even supposed to say walking into a recruitment office. Thankfully I’ve already picked a few jobs I’m interested in and a couple weeks ago I took my asvab so I’m just waiting on the results from that and asking everyone Ik about what I should say, but my dad was a marine like 30 years ago so the advice I’m getting certainly isn’t the most updated. Anyways, sorry for rambling I’m just super excited to hear that someone else has the same plan as me and honestly at this point in my life this is a topic I could talk about for hours! I lost a little over 30lbs so I can join as well, and HM is my second choice for the rates I’m interested in, it’s super cool to hear someone so similar :)

why are we lowkey twinning rn!!! don’t apologize for rambling, i appreciate folks talking about this with me. this is long, so i added a cut.

I did not have a list of questions because I had been doing massive amounts of research, although I do have one question I probably should’ve asked my recruiter (which is what HIS experience in RTC/bootcamp was like and what he thinks is important to focus on whilst in RTC). If you haven’t used this yet, I 100% recommend joining the subreddit r/newtothenavy. Use the search option and tons of posts for questions for your recruiter will pop up. I also began to consider the Navy around early April of 2023. One huge question I personally recommend is what your recruiter thinks of the Navy and what their experience in it has been like.

My recruiter personally went over his pay stubs (he’s been in since 2007) and his advancement, as well as the opportunities he’s had. Of course he also went over A school, C, school, he also went over several different programs known as CLEP and the GI bill, and he also went over a program which i forgot the acronym for, but it’s basically a program where you can earn civilian certificates for the work you do in the Navy. This is a newer thing and it was implemented because in the past, you could serve twenty years and leave the service and whilst being an excellent electrician, you would still be placed as an apprentice at an electrical company despite being the best trained due to the lack of valid certifications.

Your recruiter will ask you some questions about yourself, medical history, etc. They will hand you several forms to sign—note, none of these are legally binding, These forms are strictly confidentiality forms for your privacy and are medical release forms. You will not sign a military contract until you go to MEPS and pick your rate (rate being navy’s word for MOS, military occupational speciality, or simply just your job. i know you know what this means, just letting everyone else know LOL). It used to be you signed your contract in the recruiters office, but they changed that. Not sure how long ago, though.

My primary option is to be an HM, but my recruiter said to make sure I pick a second option in case I can’t get my first. He said I score high enough on my practice ASVAB to be an HM, but just in case! My father is a Navy vet but he served late 70s, so I totally get you about getting outdated information. I also have lost 30 lbs (13.6 kg for all of my non americans)! I need to lose more weight as I’m short, but I’m working on it.

My PERSONAL advice? Do not lie to your recruiter, but don’t say more than necessary. If it isn’t documented, you don’t need to mention it as it technically never happened. If it is documented? Do not withhold that information because they WILL eventually find it.

If you have any more questions, don’t be afraid to send them in.

#crow answers #crow joins the navy

[ju-ji]

Trying not to think too hard about this bc the last episode hasn’t even come out yet but when you break up with someone and then don’t see or talk to them for presumably a pretty significant amount of time are you really just gonna fall immediately back in love as soon as u reunite?? Maybe they will have talked before they actually meet again who knows but HOW are they gonna believably get them back together in probably at most 3/4 of an episode??? Are they??? To undo the hurt and betrayal they both felt at the end of the last ep I feel like it would take a whole new slow re-burn for them to get back together… yes I know mhok is THE simp of all time and I love him for that but I’d like to think he has at least a shred of dignity and wouldn’t just jump back into day’s arms after being hurt so deeply by the person he loved the most in the world ALSO it would be DELICIOUS to have day chase mhok this time around but there is simply not enough screen time available at this point for that to happen properly which is so unfortunate bc now that I thought of it I really want to see it and that could probably cancel out all the things I didn’t like to say the least about the last few eps. I am busting out the clown makeup right now, in fact I have never wanted to be a clown more in my life, but I’m thinking we’re getting an open ending at best. MAYBE a rushed and not fulfilling/earned happy ending but that’s almost worse and if they dare to give us a sad ending (or day can see again) I’m literally digging a hole in the ground and holding a funeral service for this show

#truly my LT posts are not trying to be persuasive or anything it’s just me running at the mouth #and trying to sort out my feelings with the hope that everything can be salvaged but only convincing myself harder that that won’t be the #case #and if u read them like girl what the fuck are u on about and u wanna convince ME of something please feel free to try like I soooo want #them to stick the landing on this show #OR if ur like YEAH I feel u then let’s be disappointed together!!!!! commiseration!!! #last twilight #in my defense I did TRY to stop posting…. it didn’t WORK but I did try

[joesalw]

"If" this is Joe, then after 6 years you know who this is because there is no way you could be around for so long and not know. However, you signed an NDA and are obligated not to disclose or become subject to an action for breach of duty and trust not to disclose. So you know, I don't use Tumblr anymore and logged in by chance to evaluate the current environment (if it's Joe). Also, you should not blame her since it was my idea from the outset (Not you, the idea came before you). Blame me and yourself since you signed the contract and NDA, not her. Also, you enjoyed the benefits while it lasted. If it's you, you should let it go and go your separate way.

"If" it's not Joe, then you're impersonating in violation of the Tumblr terms of service and also unlawfully cybersquatting in which a court order would override a failed action by Tumblr to enforce the rules (We did that for Calvin once).

Again, if it is you, out of curiosity, if you are trying to lure me out to assist with my writing credits, I gave her my consent long ago and I don't go back on my word. I seek no validation or fame, nor do I want it. She means more to me than any amount of money, assets, material items, or credit and I would never betray her. My loyalty is to her. She shows her appreciation in ways that I appreciate. It's the little things. I'm an amateur (Latin Root); Meaning, I do it purely for the love of it.

Like I said, "If" it is you, please stop and blame yourself or ME. I don't mind if you blame me. She's simply living her life and striving to do her best while you're living in the past. It's over and has been for quite some time. And I'm not going to write with anyone else (Not that you were thinking it and we both know who earned the Grammy and who it rightfully belongs to. Keep it as a souvenir and please go gracefully).

You lost your job. Life happens. Please let it go and move on. I do it for the love, for free.

I need my lawyer to read this for me guys

[tieflingtareon]

My love, are you the devil? (Oh, call me a devil)

Chapter 25 | Words: 4.7k

Summary: Astarion found himself often surprised by his heroic companion. He had one goal. To become the favoured companion of the group, to earn the Tieflings loyalty, to make Tar'eons strength his own. Yet Tar'eon isn't like the usual target of his manipulations. Despite his naivety, he does not seem gullible. There is something very wrong with their 'leader' to begin with. Astarion isn't sure if he wants to control it or eradicate the threat it posed. But can he really do either when Tar'eon himself seems so...unwaveringly kind?

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50668558/chapters/127995079

Tar'eon leapt onto the platform, not allowing Ketheric to look down upon him like he might his companions, raising himself to his full height before him. The half-elf turned to him, not looking alarmed in the slightest. He had been waiting for him, for them.

"There you are. As predicted. What is it, I wonder, that draws one towards death like a moth to light?" Ketheric regarded the tiefling with an equal amount of respect for his bravery, and impertinence for his idiocy. "You could have run away. Absconded with the Prism - the one thing that could prevent me from fulfilling my destiny."

The Prism stirred in his pocket as he held the Generals gaze, refusing to back down.

"But the lure of one's destiny is irresistible, isn't it?" He spoke from experience. "Perhaps you hoped to learn your place in history before you are erased from it. A bright flash of clarity before the snuffing out."

"I just want this parasite out of my head."

"Impossible - you are bound to it, and in death it will bind you to me. That is the power my Lord Myrkul has granted me - command over the immeasurable legions of the dead." He spread his arms as if to show off all he had accomplished, all he had been gifted. "But he did not only give me power - he gave me the one thing no other god could grant me."

There was reverence and sorrow in his voice as he bowed his head.

"My daughters life returned. Her heart beating once more." There was a shine to his eyes now, the gratefulness in his words potent even to Tar'eons ears. "For that, he asked that I serve as his Chosen, join Orin and Gortash to grow the cult of the Absolute, and then...take control of it. He's never had a more devoted follower."

Tar'eon pursed his lips. This god, this Myrkul, had taken advantage of a mortal mans grief. Bound him to him with this debt, and Ketheric worshipped him with rose-coloured glasses for all he had returned to him. He was being played for a fool - Tar'eon did not trust any god with a mortals life after how Shar abandoned Shadowheart.

"I have fought great wars before, in the service of other gods, and other powers. But for Myrkul, I would condemn all of Faerun to death. You are all that stands between me and my destiny - and you have brought the Prism here." He squared his shoulders and somehow stared down his nose at the tiefling, despite being the smaller man. "I will kill you now. And then I will raise you as my servant."

Tar'eon shook his head. He did not fear the man, as much as he pitied him.

"I told you once before; if you surrender, I will consider letting you live." Ketheric scoffed, like he was being told off by a child who knew nothing of the real world.

"Mercy. A fools choice."

"This god gave you the power to regained your form glory, Ketheric - your daughter too. But the power of the Gods is not worth the death of countless others." He stepped closer, and the General looked as if he wanted to step back, but he was too prideful to do so as he was stared down by glowing eyes of fire and ice.

"You wavered before, and all I ask is that you give in. Surrender. Right your wrongs, for the rest of your days. Your story doesn't have to end here - You can still repent. We can help you tear down the plans you've built." Tar'eon offered his arm, willing the man to take it, to grasp it like men of war did when greeting a fellow ally. "I know, despite all you have done, Isobel still loves the man you were. Prove to her that you still are. My mercy is not only for you. It is for her."

Despite it all, she had admitted she did not want to see her father perish. Did not want all the good memories to disappear. He had revived her, brought her back from the dead, because he loved her. Isobel knew that, and Tar'eon did too. Knowing now that he had traded her life for all the others in the world...Ketheric was simply a father making all the wrong choices, trying to save their child they'd already lost once.

"Repent?" Ketheric looked at the man, something about his hardened resolve seemingly tumbling in itself. Like Tar'eon had smashed the beam that held all his conviction up. "Would that even be possible?"

Ketheric did not want his only child to hate him. No father desired the scorn of their daughter. Though, he deserved it.

"I don't know." Tar'eon admitted truthfully. "But is it not worth it to try? For her sake?" He reached out to touch his shoulder, to make the man face him, but he stepped back, avoiding his touch.

"No...no, there is no repentance." He shook his head. "No release. My debt can never be repaid." He continued to walk further back until he reached the edge of the platform. Tar'eon made to come closer, to follow, but ominous whispers filled the room, echoing off the walls as he tried to make sense of them, but there was nothing to make coherent.

Ketheric listened closely, before turning his head to the sky.

"He is here." His arms came up as if to greet the whispers, opening himself up to the god who gave him his everything in exchange for every other person in Faerun's life. For even his own. "He is watching. He is listening. He is..." He trailed off, and Tar'eon watched the older man sway, tilting back.

"He is..." Tar'eon launched forward as Ketheric fell back into the unknown, his fingers just barely grazing the stone in his armour before he fell out of reach.

"Ketheric!" He shouted, the feeling of failure splitting down his centre. He'd come so close to convincing the General to let it all go. To surrender. To help them make this right. He'd been so close to returning Isobel's father to her.

He fisted his hands by his side, glaring into the glowing green hole below.

The accumulation of his continuous failures weighed heavy on his chest, the burning his eyes only making him clench his fists tighter, claws digging into his already wounded palm. He had failed to intervene with the Duke's possession, had failed to save Arabella's parents, and now, he failed to return Ketheric to Isobel. For once, he just wanted to see a child reunite with their fucking parents. Their family.

He wanted his own. It felt like a bitter twist of irony, to only ever see such bonds be torn apart before him. To be ripped away.

"You dare end one who belongs to me?" A raspy voice called from below, and Tar'eon stepped back, eyes widened. "I am the smile of the worm-cleansed skull. I am the regrets of those who remain, and the restlessness of those who are gone."

"Oh fuck." Karlach breathed as she climbed onto the platform, Wyll, Shadowheart and Lae'zel close behind.

"I am the haunt of mausoleums, the god of graves and age, of dust and dusk." A large hand made of bones grasped the ledge and Tar'eon stumbled back as another followed, the room rumbling beneath his feet. "I am Myrkul, Lord of Bones, and you have slain my Chosen."

"Shit." Shadowheart agreed, holding her spear tighter as the enormous skeleton raised itself up to greet them.

"But it is no matter. For I am Death. And I am not the end - I am the beginning." A scythe came to it's hand, looming above them, and Tar'eon for the first time, truly feared Death itself, if only for a moment. It was only when he saw the scythe zip past him did he notice the Nightsong - Aylin.

He unsheathed his blade and hissed under his breath as the gash across his palm seared. He would not let it be a distraction. If Aylin could not fight this battle for them, they would simply have to give it everything they had. He looked from side to side, noting the minions and mindflayers at his left and right, raised on separate platforms.

"Shadowheart, take the lower ground, and focus on healing and wards - Lae'zel, Karlach, I want you at my east and west, take his pawns off the board. Wyll," He looked at the warlock and nodded, lowering his stance. "I want you at my side, lest Death try to warm me over." The swordsman gave a grin, Mizora's power burning through his veins as he readied himself for the battle ahead.

"Astar, I want you-" He turned to his other side and his eyes widened. "Astarion?"

He couldn't see him. How hadn't he noticed his absence? How long had he been gone? His heart rate kicked up into a frantic beat.

He wasn't given any warning before a bony hand swiped at him, throwing him to the side with a groan, barely catching the edge of the platform before he tumbled face first to the ground below.

"IGNIS!" Wyll slammed a fire bolt into the God, more for a distraction than for damage, taking position by his body as he collected himself. Making sure the god could not take another strike at their leader before he was ready to face it.

"I am no slave to Death - I am it's master." Myrkul rasped and Tar'eon pulled himself to his feet, narrowing his eyes.

"You are nothing by bones - there is nothing to fear from your rattling." Tar'eon squeezed the hilt of his blade, letting the pain centre him rather than distract him. He growled as he slashed at the god, but it occurred to him that he hadn't even caused a chip. The damn thing was as invulnerable as Ketheric while Aylin was trapped.

"Shadowheart, new plan! Get to-!" He turned his gaze to Aylin and his eyes widened as the space beside her warped, revealing pale fingers curling around the woman's shoulder. In a ripple of fading magic, Astarion appeared before his eyes, ruby red meeting his as the vampire gave a coy grin, waving to his lover as Aylin unfurled her wings, shooting up to crash into Myrkul with everything she had.

Tar'eon grinned back, Astarion disappearing and appearing before him, shrouded in a cloud of mist, with a smirk that spoke of deep satisfaction, awaiting the praise he knew he deserved like a feline awaiting to be admired and given a treat.

"Someone had to make sure you lot didn't get yourselves killed. Who better to fight a god than the child of one?"

Tar'eon didn't even justify his words with an answer, pulling him in by the waist and kissing him hard. Astarion made a sound of shock before chuckling lowly, nipping at his bottom lip as consequence for catching him by surprise. He licked away the faint trances of blood from his lips and grinned.

"I would have settled for a 'well done', but a passionate kiss? Why, I might just swoon."

"Well done, ph myirz."

"A little help would be nice, you two!" Wyll yelled as he cast another eldritch blast.

"You're just jealous!" Astarion laughed, but grasped his bow and slotted an arrow into its place, flying it into the god. "Let's finish this quickly, hm? I want to rub defeating a god in Gale's face later."

Tar'eon shook his head fondly and turned his gaze onto Myrkul once more. God or not, he would not forgive one who took advantage of the weak. A mortal man, compared to a god, was indeed weak.

But not today.

****

Or perhaps, especially today. Tar'eon cradled Ketheric's head in his lap, staring at the stone in his chest. He had said Isobel's name with such grief, fearing the unknown, and Tar'eon had watched as he died, the General believing himself forsaken.

He placed a hand over his eyes, attempting to shut them, but the man had had the life burnt out of him. He was nothing but a dark husk of his previous form, adorned in bone-like armour. He'd given everything to a god, only to have it strip from him in moments when he failed him. He pitied the faithful who were discarded without hesitation. Shar, discarding Shadowheart, Myrkul discarding Ketheric. All because of their failures to comply to their orders.

He closed his eyes and sent a prayer into the void, hoping for a god to hear him. 'Let him spend his afterlife with the memories of the good times', he pleaded to whatever god or goddess would show the most mercy. 'Let him be the man he once was, the man Isobel loved, even if he had died as a twisted version of himself. Let there be forgiveness, even for the unforgivable.'

He opened his eyes and sighed, putting his hand out to Astarion.

"A dagger. Please." Whatever the stone was, he knew they would need it. Astarion frowned but offered a spare to him, watching as the tiefling dug the tip into the gold encasing it, prying it back carefully until he could break the stone from its confines. It glowed pink in his palm, and he studied it with fascination. Tar'eon noticed a bright light open up from behind him and quickly stood to face it head on, squinting at the familiar figure.

"Remarkable. Truly." His sacrifice - his guardian. With dark hair pulled back, white braided into the side of his head, and freckles dancing across the bridge of his nose. The inky black tattoo consumed half of his face, trailing down his neck, and Tar'eon couldn't help staring. This face before him - he didn't know if it was a truth or a lie. He wasn't quite sure he trusted his guardian as much as he had before.

"And now the picture comes together. The Absolute is neither god nor man. It is the elder brain you saw, held here by those three against its will." He sounded disgusted by the threes control over the brain. "The crown it wears controls it, and those stones control the crown. It has been dominated. To master an elder brain...to subdue it...Our enemies are more formidable than we thought."

"What are these stones?" Tar'eon stepped forward, showing the stone to the guardian but not getting close enough to be within arms reach, lest he try and snatch it, whoever he was. "How do they control them?"

"The crown's markings suggest it was forged in Netheril, an ancient empire whose mastery over magic rivalled that of the gods." He explained, hands behind his back. "It is a crown of domination. The stones were taken from its crest. They are Netherstones, imbued with the ability to control the wearer of the crown. The crown's Netherese magic must be the true source of the parasites' abilities. This must be what elevates their potential. And it must be the reason nobody could heal you."

"Netherese magic...?" Wyll queried, looking perplexed. Tar'eon wasn't sure where he'd heard the term before, but it was obvious the warlock had. He looked away grimly, and Tar'eon focused his gaze back on the guardian.

"Yes. Netherese magic. If the crown can do this to the parasites, I dare not imagine what it is doing to the brain."

"And those other two...they're our enemies." Tar'eon said rather than asked. "They're controlling the brain." He looked at the stone in his hand. Ketheric had also been a part of their plans. "Myrkul - we defeated him, right?"

"One cannot defeat a god so easily." The guardian shook his head. "I believe you fought and defeated an avatar of Myrkul, the god of necromancy. A remarkable feat, even if you did not defeat the god itself. Ketheric was Myrkul's Chosen." He said the term with weight. Being chosen by a god...he knew that meant something. Something important.

"I know Lord Enver Gortash," Before him, an image of the man appeared, an illusion, Orin standing beside him in her carnage attire. "An arms dealer and a slaver. He is a worshipper of Bane, the god of tyranny."

Tar'eon walked up to the vision of the pair, reaching out to brush along the Chosen of Bane's jaw, like he might be able to turn his face, to find an angle that would remind him of who he was to him. To find out why his chest stirred with emotion when he looked at those dark eyes. He could not identify what he was feeling, but if was almost...lustful. Whether he was lusting for blood or body, he couldn't tell, which concerned him deeply. Gortash's image faded at the faintest touch.

"The other is mystery to me." His guardian stood beside Orin's form and Tar'eon brought his gaze to hers, her pale eyes. "But the way she spoke, it is most likely she follows Bhaal - god of murder." Her image smiled cruelly at him and he lunged his hand out for her throat, disappointed when she vanished as well, like a cloud of smoke. He gritted his teeth. Something about her rubbed him in all the wrong ways.

"Which means the Absolute is a front for the gods of death and our enemies are the Chosen of the Dead Three." Tar'eon fisted his hand, turning his glare reserved for Orin onto the guardian.

"What do we do now then?"

"We prepare for the fight of our lives, and the lives of everyone in Faerun." Tar'eons stomach churned. "The army of the Absolute is marching on Baldur's Gate. Within the city, an elder brain brimming with power, ready to turn everyone with its reach into mind flayers...? All it needs is an order. An order the death gods' Chosen are on the cusp of giving. We must wrest control of the brain from the Chosen before that happens - we must take their stones. Our chances of success are slim, but we must not fail. If we fail, everything ends."

That was a lot to put on the heroes shoulders, but they were the only ones capable of carrying the heavy weight of that burden.

"I will be your shield, but you must be the sword. And when the chance comes to strike, you must take it. For there may only be one chance."

Tar'eon nodded solemnly. Whether he trusted the man or not was irrelevant. He could not let Faerun come to ruin.

"I will make it count, even if that strike is my last." His guardian nodded, taking his word and disappearing in a flash. Tar'eon sighed and turned to Ketheric's body.

"Hells...what did we get ourselves into?" Shadowheart looked like she needed to sit down.

"That bastard...I'll kill him the next time I see him." Karlach muttered to herself, a dark scowl marring her features.

"Great. Another deadly adventure." Astarion grumbled, but he was pleased, if a bit anxious, to see Baldur's Gate once more.

"We should probably start heading back." Tar'eon knelt down beside Ketheric's body and searched his pockets. He grimaced, not wanting to disrespect the dead, but if he had carried a stone with so much importance, it was possible he had something else on him that could make their journey easier, or give them a clue to more of their plans.

Alas, all he found was a crumpled note, words written in childish scrawl.

Papa, I love you. LOVE FROM IZ

His heart ached. In another life, maybe they could have been a happy family. If only greed and grief were not so easy to succumb to.

****

It was like nothing he'd ever seen before. Watching the shadows be cast aside, watching light spill in through the curse's tendrils that were being stripped away. Astarion closed his eyes and soaked in the sunlight once more. Gods, he had missed it.

"Ar'eon! Astar!" Mirkon led a gaggle of children towards them, having somehow managed to escape Isobel's watchful eye. No doubt distracted by her lady love, now back in her arms.

Tar'eons lips split into a wide grin, something rare and pure, falling to his knees to wrap the boy up in his arms before drawing the other children in, his body large enough to make room for all of them. Arabella and Doni were the only ones who stood back from the group hug, Mattias giving a complaint even as she hugged the man just as tight.

"I take my eyes off you lot for one moment," Gale's voice, full of disapproval, was cut off by the sight of his companions. "By Mystra, it's good to see you all made it." He breathed like he had doubted such odds.

"An old man like Ketheric is hardly a battle." Karlach assured with a laugh, nudging her girlfriend.

"It's not every day you defeat an avatar of Myrkul."

"Myrkul?!" Gale gaped. "I- I am never staying with the children again, you fought an avatar of Myrkul? Lord of Bones?"

"It's a long story, and I promise to fill you in on it during our journey to the Gate." Wyll assured, a small smile on his lips as he approached the wizard. Gale stood a little straighter, his eyes trailing over the swordsman, checking for any injuries, and then simply admiring.

"Good, good, I- I would expect nothing less after you banished me from all the fun." Gale reached out to nit pick at the crooked collar of Wyll's armour, clearing his throat. "It must have been quite thrilling, I'm sure, fighting off such a fearsome foe. You know, I once read a book that explained in some detail the effect a brush with danger has on one's desire for...other forms of stimulation."

"Oh?" Wyll gained a charming smile.

"Have you ever read anything on that subject?"

"You know I'm quite...particular about my genres, but I've been known to dabble in books of...anatomy, and the wonders of it."

"Oh, Gods." Shadowheart wrinkled her nose and Karlach laughed, pulling her in to kiss her crown.

"Hey, you should admire the ability to try and hit in broad daylight." She snickered, watching Gale lean in closer, their conversation growing quieter, more secretive as they shared coy smiles. Whatever they were saying, it was probably best to leave it alone.

Halsin approached, Jaheria at his side, and Lae'zel stepped forward to regard the man, her face still stained with blood. His own was not dissimilar.

"The curse is no more. Are you satisfied, druid?"

"I'm just glad to be able to continue my travels with you - all of you." He added the last part like an afterthought, but they allowed it. Nobody was going to remark on the way he looked at Lae'zel.

"Chk." The githyanki tsked, turning from the druid sharply with a flick of her hair. "Let us make haste then. More ghaik await to taste our steel and claws, ra'stil." She beckoned him to follow her march onwards to the gate, and Halsin took the chance to take her hand and kiss it, the woman giving a huff and a glare.

"Do not be so coy, or I will have your head."

"I do not intend to be." Halsin laughed, Jaheria eyeing the strange pair before she turned to Tar'eon who was assuring the tiefling children he'd see them again soon, and warning them to be cautious in the city, to stick close to their guardians.

"How come Arabella can come with you, but we can't?" Mirkon whined, and Tar'eon sighed.

"Arabella won't be staying with us more than a night. Our path is dangerous, and I wouldn't dare risk any of you, asking you to come along. Please, stay with the others. Arabella, well...once we reach the city, she will have to make her own way too, with no guide but herself. Trust me, if I could, I'd take you all with me."

"Yes, he would, he's a bleeding heart for young, fresh monster bait." Astarion remarked haughtily. "Having you lot with us would only cause more distractions than we can afford. Do you want Tar'eon to die protecting you lot?"

"Of course not!" Silfy gasped, horrified by the mere idea.

"Given our journey so far, and knowing it will only get worse from here, we can't afford to be distracted. And frankly, you'll get bored very quickly being stuck at camp all day." Astarion rolled his eyes. "Be reasonable and stop causing more heartache than necessary for your saviour twice over."

"We're sorry, Ar'eon...we know you have your reasons. But we'll miss you."

"And I will you miss you. I promise, once my journey is over, I would delight in nothing more than to spend all my remaining days with every last one of yous." Tar'eon assured, bringing them all back in for a bone crushing hug. Once he released them, he forced a smile on his lips. "Now go. Rolan, Zevlor, Lia, Cal, Rikka - all of them, they're no doubt worried sick, seeing you all run off."

Doni gave a grunt, looking back at the towers, no doubt thinking of Rikka and her worrying frown. Tar'eon stood and gave them all a wave as they made back to their group, Arabella standing at his side. She waved to them too, eyes wet, trying not to cry. She'd miss them, if only for a short time. Astarion placed a hand on her head and ruffled her hair.

"No need for tears, little thief. Good riddance if anything." Despite the cold words, his voice was warm, betraying his usually callous nature. "It will be a quiet night tonight. And you can even pick the story this time." He picked dirt from under his nails with a smirk, intending it to be a slight at her childishness, but Arabella simply smiled up at him.

She gave him a quick hug around the waist and ran off after Karlach and Shadowheart who were walking at a leisure pace to the road.

"Did she just-?" Astarion looked bewildered, and Tar'eon chuckled, admiring his features in the sunlight. He had missed the sight. He kissed the vampires curls and breathed in the scent of rosemary and citrus.

"She likes you."

"Gods, I hope not. I'm awful with children." Astarion shuddered like he'd found a new horror in life, following after the group. Tar'eon smiled and turned to Jaheria who seemed to be waiting for his attention.

"The offer still stands, you know."

"I know. And I'm taking it. I simply came to tell you Isobel, Aylin and I will be a short journey behind you. We have things to wrap up before we go. Keep to the road, so we may find you tonight."

"To work beside the famous Jaheria Karlach talks so highly of? I must have impressed you." He mused.

"Perhaps." The older woman smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. "May your journey be safe."

"May our journey be safe." Tar'eon bowed his head in respect to the Harper. "Oh," Tar'eon reached into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled note. "I...pass this on to Isobel, would you?" He wasn't sure what her reaction would be, but he knew he wouldn't be able to watch it. It would be too painful after seeing Ketheric's charred body.

Jaheria took it with a curious quirk of her brow.

"Please." The Harper frowned but nodded and Tar'eon jogged after his companions to catch up with them. He looked back at the lands, free of shadows, as he passed the threshold. Even though the sky was brighter, the nature thriving, and the birds singing...The shadows continued lurked within him.

Who was he? Who was he really?

Astarion's cold fingers curled around his bicep, and he turned to look at him, drawn out of his trance.

"Don't linger now, darling. I have so much to show you, once we get to Baldur's Gate." Tar'eon smiled softly and gently took Astarion's hand off his arm, instead placing it into his own. Perhaps the sunlight deceived him, but he thought he saw the faintest pink in Astarion's cheeks.

"I can't wait to see it all. To relearn it through your eyes...It almost makes forgetting it to begin with worth it." Tar'eon squeezed his hand, lacing their fingers together as he finally turned his back on the cleansed lands.

He walked towards the sun in the distance, and let its warmth chase away his worries, thumbing over the pale hand in his.

#astarion x dark urge #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #astarion x male tav #astarion x mc #bg3 tav #astarion bg3 #astarion #baldurs gate tav

[wa-kaizen]

- 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

a little about me; hi! first off, thank you for reading my post, i appreciate it a lot. i am sei! i have been interested in both astrology and tarot for multiple years now, to be exact, 8 years. i am taking it more seriously since this year, as i would like to earn some money from it. this isn't my first blog, i had a previous one with the same name which tumblr happened to deactivate, however, i am here to help you now! i have also provided paid services before.

・❥・other beautiful reader recommendations; @/daninixx @/amourdivine @/the-wild-candy

- 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓯

𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓲 𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓶𝓾𝓵𝓽𝓲𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓪𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮? yes! as many as you wish.

𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓵𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓾𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼? tarot cards, oracles, charms, intuition, the help of your spirit guides!

𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮? minimum 48 hours, but you can set up a preferred date.

𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓲 𝓽𝓮𝔁𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓯 𝓲 𝓬𝓪𝓷'𝓽 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮? i am always available, but just incase my side blog is @sei-jinnie

𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓼 𝓲𝓯 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮? you can always ask a free question from me

𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝔂𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮? before the reading, through paypal, i don't offer refunds.

If you have any more questions I will happily answer you.

𝓹𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓶𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷

𝓲𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓪 𝓫𝓾𝓭𝓰𝓮𝓽

﹋﹋﹋﹋꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

in this you can ask questions that aren't on the page, or simply things you are curious of. the price will depend on the amount of cards you wish for me to use

3 cards:; 5$ 5 cards:; 10$ 10 cards and 5 charms; 18$

𝓳𝓸𝓲𝓮 𝓭𝓮 𝓿𝓲𝓿𝓻𝓮

trigger warning; mentions of suicide and depression

this one is meant for depressed people, who are just curious of what can this bring, of what is worth living for. the price of this is low because I don't would never take advantage of you, I was simply inspired by the saying. This includes; people's opinions - those who look up to you, what do romantic interest love you for, your generic good traits, why your spirit guides want you to keep going and channeled messages from them

this reading costs 10$.

𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮 𝓪𝓶𝓮

just an aura reading! colours, how does it affect your personality, what spiritual things you could try out, spirit guide messages

this reading costs 15$

𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼

a channelled message from anyone you wish, dead or alive.

this reading costs 10$

𝓵𝓾𝓮𝓾𝓻

a message from a higher being from your religion. you can choose out the deity you would like a message from. this includes a channelled message, their opinion on you and how to become closer to them.

this reading costs 15$

𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

﹋﹋﹋﹋꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

𝓽𝓾 𝓶𝓮 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓲𝓼

in this you can ask up to 10 questions about your crush, but none of it can be sexual.

this reading costs 15$

𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮-𝓶𝓸𝓲 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽

just a reading about your future spouse, and your life together. such as; dynamic, married life, their current appearance, personality, possible hobbies and interests, music style, clothing style, habits, love language, current mindspace, past, family, friends, likes and dislikes, their dreams towards their future.

this reading costs 40$

𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮

the love you would experience with someone you are deeply in love with, but cannot be with. - they are fictional, passed away or it's complicated. - how would they love you, how would they pursue you, how would it be like to spend your days with them, how would they improve your life and any additional things you wish to know.

this reading costs 20$

𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓶𝓪 𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓷

your past life love story with whoever I channel. how you met, what was it like, how it ended. we can discuss everything you are curious of in this.

this readings costs 40$

𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

﹋﹋﹋﹋꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

𝓪��𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓯𝓲𝓷

just about your future best friend! dynamic, things that your energy reminds me of, how you two will meet, your soul connection, why they love you, a channelled message, anything else you are curious of.

this reading costs 25$

𝓪 𝓼𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓷𝓮𝓻

your future children! their personality, relationship with you, aura, possible signs, hobbies, friends and anything you are curious of!

this reading costs 25$

𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮

basic past life reading, who you were, what kind of people were around you, your story, how it affects you now. anything else you could be curious of.

this reading is 60$

𝓳𝓮 𝓼𝓾𝓲𝓼 𝓮𝓷 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓮

your future. your financial status, love life, social life, family matters and friendships. this is usually 10 years into the future, although you can always change this to a year you see fit.

this reading costs 26$

thank you for reading and being interested in my readings, i appreciate it wholeheartedly. in the future, i will be adding more options to purchase from, thank you.

#astrology #astro observations #astroblr #tarotblr #tarot #paid reading #spiritual #spiritual journey #astral projection #shifting #spirit guides #messages #archangels #oracles #animal guides #paid readings #chart readings #tarot readings #paid services #astro readings #services #pac #libra #cancer #aquarius #capricorn #aries #leo #scorpio #sagittarius

[ceasarslegion]

Hey guys

I hate doing this i hate it i really do but, on my last day of work I watched someone get stabbed in the neck and his assailant sprayed bear mace all over the hallway at the security guards trying to tackle him. I've never seen that level of human fear and panic in public before as people scrambled for the exits, nor have I ever felt that suffocated before. Not even the delta variant of COVID made it hurt that much just to breathe. Bear mace is a special kind of agony that I hope none of you ever have to experience. I'm young and healthy and able-bodied so my lungs should be able to bounce back, but that doesn't make me invincible. My eyes are still watering and I still have a bit of a cough, but it seems to be getting better with time.

I'm lucky to live in a country with free physical healthcare if anything gets worse or goes wrong there, so I don't have to worry about that avenue. The main thing I'm having issues with is the mental toll that takes on a person. This incident occurred just days after I dealt with the cops for a different reason when I told off the wrong group of kids for being abusive to a service worker and they kept me holed up in a KFC for over an hour banging at me through the glass and threatening my life if I stepped outside. And after the stabbing incident, our head office wanted us to open up our store and start selling again as if nothing was wrong, as if we were making up excuses to leave early. They won't be covering their staff's mental health nor giving them any hazard pay or time off that our friends at the Starbucks are getting. Therapy isn't covered in Canada.

That was also my last day at that job, and while I have another way better one lined up soon, there's still a gap of unknown (but not long) length between positions during which I'm effectively unemployed while my new supervisor slots me into the next available training course. This was supposed to be a well-earned break for me to rest and relax, but I worry it will be overshadowed by the murky cloud of settling trauma. While I have savings, I have to make them stretch as long and far as possible since I have no income coming in and I don't have a set date for when I will again, just "very soon."

I haven't been able to sleep and I'm too nauseated to eat. I still feel numb and in shock to what I saw and experienced. The lingering bear mace isn't bad enough to be the culprit, as I've slept and eaten through worse colds at this point. I think I'm going to have to book an emergency session with my therapist, but his rates are a bit pricey. I'm going to ask the office about possible payment plans or if things can get at least partially covered under AHS in the event of something like this since it's a threat to my physical health if it's making me rapidly agoraphobic and affecting my ability to take care of my basic needs like sleep and feeding myself. Even if my old work would cover it (highly doubt it), I don't work there anymore. That was the exact date outlined in my resignation letter. It's just a shit situation all around.

But if you guys have the ability to kick me a few extra bucks that will all go towards therapy, I would be forever grateful for it. You don't have to, please don't feel obligated. I've gotten out of worse scraps than this financially, and if all else fails, I can beg my grandmother for some of the hoard of oil money cash that she sits on like a dragon. The problem is that she's incredibly psychologically abusive, but she's the only member of my family who could foot a bill like that on this short of notice. So you don't have to worry that I'll go bankrupt or anything. But for obvious reasons, I'd rather not compile onto the mental health problems I'm experiencing if I can avoid it.

And the job I'm onboarding onto has a fantastic salary and benefits, so I can pay everybody back once I have a reliable source of income again. With the amount of followers I have, even a dollar or a reblog helps immensely. And I won't accept anything that exceeds the amount a session costs if I get that much in cumulative assistance (180 CAD), so it's all going to therapy.

My canadian p**p** is .me/damodrawz if you can spare anything, but don't feel obligated.

Thanks everybody, I hope things get better soon.

#:((

[valkyrie-night-103]

I will butt in one more time despite me saying I need sleepy-time (Still do) But cleaners prize corner sounds like some weird cross between chuck e cheese and wrestling.

If that is the case, please promise me you will marry me someday, if it is not then also do that please Xx

Cleaner’s prize corner is a working title, but you’re not wrong. I might redo the poll as well to include this option, as I think it’ll probably work out pretty popular if I know my demographic (which is not a sure thing)

Cleaner’s Prize Corner

Kenny is a famous video game streamer. He’s not exactly a household name, but he’s damned close. He gets recognised sometimes and has a very dedicated fan base that are known for being a little… overzealous, at times. Sometimes it’s nice to be just himself, with no expectations placed upon him- and so he goes to a local arcade for a change of scenery.

Adam Page works at the local arcade. The problem is, he’s not really a massive video game person. He’s always been awful at any game he tries, despite having an interest. He was hired to perform basic fixes on arcade machines, and maybe watch the cameras to make sure no patrons were messing with anything. When the company changed hands, staff cuts were made, and now Adam spends his working life cowering behind the prize counter, praying that nobody asks him for anything other than the toys and candy that tickets are exchanged for.

Despite enjoying the classics, Kenny always plays enough ticket games to get a small prize every time he visits. Which is more often than he’d care to admit. Ticket games are a money sink, he knows that, they have to be profitable, after all- but he really likes chatting to the cute guy at the prize counter, and he’d feel weird if he wasn’t getting anything? Talking to Adam makes him feel like just some guy, for a change. He gets to be his awkward self, and he likes not having to put on a show for someone. It’s not like he can’t afford the cost of earning 50 tickets.

Every time he wants to ask him out, he overthinks his way out of it. So he keeps coming back and winning tickets, and getting the same prize every week.

Adam is deeply confused by this new regular. The guy comes in on Monday and Thursday every week during the school day, so the arcade is dead quiet. He plays Street Fighter and DDR for a couple hours, but before leaving, he earns the exact amount of tickets to exchange for a single red kazoo. It’s been 3 months. He must have at least 20 by now. Where is he putting them? Does he have a kazoo orchestra? What would a kazoo orchestra even sound like?

He’s broken from his weird thought train by the regular’s voice. He smiles at him, hands over the tickets. They were running low on kazoos, so he set the last one aside for him.

“I hope the colour is okay.” He says, handing over a hot-pink plastic noise-making device. He’s glad it’s in safe hands. He’s been working in the arcade long enough to know that given to a child of the correct age and determination, a kazoo can unleash torment the likes of which the masses have never seen, horrors only witnessed by teachers, tired single mothers, and customer service staff for family-friendly franchises.

“Neat!” Kenny says, smiling big like Adam has made his day. He has nice teeth, Adam thinks. Is that a normal thing to think about another human being?

“So, uh, I know you’re working right now and stuff- I don’t want to be rude or anything, I just- would you like to get a coffee with me this evening?” Kenny asks, stumbling over his words a little. “I mean- tomorrow morning. Drinking coffee in the evening is a bad idea. I mean, unless you work the night shift…” he rambles on for another 30 seconds until he realises that Adam has handed him something. He looks down at the fun-dip packet, and sees Adam’s number neatly written on the front, with an added smiley face.

“There’s a little bakery, around the corner from here.” Kenny says. “I’ll send you the address.”

Adam initially gave the regular his number out of curiosity. But the more he listens to the regular, Kenny, speaking, the more he genuinely likes him. He’s funny and a little awkward, and very sweet.

During the conversation, Adam admits he’s awful at video games, so Kenny invites him over, offering to teach him how to play any game he wants, provided Kenny has it already. A new game would take forever to download and he’d probably have to mess with his storage again.

Adam is awful at first, and he makes that clear to Kenny. Kenny admits he plays video games for a living, and Adam genuinely thinks that’s cool. He doesn’t quite tell him everything yet, like the extent of his following, but it’s a better start than any relationship since… well. I’m sure you can work out who.

Adam actually starts getting the hang of it, and Kenny tries to say as much, but his words get all jumbled and he calls him Hangman. It strikes them both as extremely funny for a reason they couldn’t explain if they tried. And somehow, the nickname sticks, though it’s often shortened to Hanger.

The tension finally breaks and they kiss, agreeing to start dating, but also to keep the relationship under wraps while they work things out.

Weeks later, Hangman is still pretty bad at video games. It’s actually a nice change of pace for Kenny. Hangman loves it when Kenny rambles to him about video game lore, too. Kenny opens up more about his job and confides in him about some of the stress that comes with it. Hangman is supportive and sweet about it.

Hangman falls out with his roommate, Adam Cole, and gets kicked out, having exhausted all of Cole’s goodwill that had allowed him to stay in the first place. He turns up at Kenny’s door because he doesn’t know where else to go. They’ve been together a little while now, so Kenny suggests he moves in. It’s not like he hasn’t got the space. It’ll be nice for the house not to feel empty for a change.

One day, Hangman pokes his head in to bitch about Kenny not putting his socks in the laundry basket, not realising he’s already streaming and the mic had picked up everything.

The internet, naturally, blows up about it.

#cleaners prize corner #aew #all elite wrestling #wrestling #kenny omega #kenny omega my beloved #fic ask game #aew ask game #hangman page #hangman adam page #adam page #hangmega #hangkenny #aew fic ask

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

Content warning for suggestive conversation at the end

--

"Cuuuuub! Cub Cub Cub Cub Cub Cub Cub! Oof - " Scar landed in a heap of crumpled elytra, splayed limbs, and a side-skewed hardhat that he straightened out as he staggered to his feet. "Well hello there, loveliest of Cubs of 135th Street! My oldest, dearest friend! My, but this place is looking spectacular." He gave a low whistle, looking around at the progress made on Total Chaos since his last visit.

Cub rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, tightening the final screw on the hinge plate before picking up the door next to him. "Hello Scar. What is it you want?"

Scar gasped in mock offense, and no doubt would be clutching at his chest if he hadn't already grabbed the door to steady it while Cub dropped the pin into place and gave it a few taps with the side of his pick. "Want? Why Cub, I just came to see how you were doing! The pleasure of your company is all I could ever desire in life."

"Uh huh." Cub gave the door a test swing. "And what else?"

"Mmmmwell..." Scar drew out the word, clasping his hands together. "You've gotten quite a few diamonds back since the economic reset! So I was also wondering if there might be the possibility of getting the tiniest of teensiest of loans from you?"

"I don't do loans," said Cub, walking over to the next empty doorframe. "I don't like them, they're too risky."

"I thought you might say that, but it never hurts to try!" Scar bounced on the balls of his feet while Cub held a level against the frame.

"How many do you need?" Cub squinted at the air bubble a moment before deciding he was satisfied with its position. "I might be able to just give - "

"It's only about nineteen!" said Scar quickly. Cub turned and looked at him. "...Um, blocks," added Scar. "Nineteen, uh, diamond blocks. Please?"

"You want nineteen diamond blocks," repeated Cub, and Scar nodded. "You want 171 diamonds. What on earth - "

"Technically I only need 170 diamonds!" said Scar. "It's for Pearl. I sort of owe her for services rendered, of the 'conquering four chest monsters' variety."

"She cleaned up four of your chest monsters and only wants 170 diamonds?" Cub laughed at Scar's indignant squawk. "Nineteen blocks, huh?" Cub opened his ender chest and checked the contents of his wallet. "I dunno, that's an awful lot of moolah, Scar."

"Oh please, Cub? You're my only hope! I could earn them! Do you need help with anything around here? More doors steadied? A test dummy? The best landscaping services on the server? Or any other...services?"

Cub sat on a chest and picked up a water bottle, sipping from it while he looked at Scar in consideration. "Any other services, huh?" He bit back a smirk at seeing Scar's eyes gleam with a combination of mischief and the tantalizing taste of a potential deal just waiting to be finalized. "Okay, I'll tell you what," he said as Scar sat next to him. "I won't guarantee the full amount, but I'll let you try to earn as many as you can, starting tonight when I return to the tree."

"It's a deal," said Scar. "Like old times?"

"Yeah, like old times," said Cub, and brushed his fingertips over Scar's throat. Scar leaned into the touch ever so slightly. "And if you still have that that I gave you," Cub tapped a finger against the side of Scar's neck, "then you might earn a few extra depending on how you greet me."

He didn't miss the way Scar's heartbeat quickened under his touch, or the dilation of his pupils, or the faint thrum of magic that was beginning to tinge the air around them as Scar's anticipation grew. "Then I'd better get back and start preparing," Scar practically purred as he stood up. "See you when you get home."

Cub watched him fly away, then looked at the sun overhead. It was barely midday, and he still had a great deal of work to be done if he wanted to stay on the unofficial schedule he'd set for himself. It wasn't often he had something to look forward to enough to make his work seem unappealing, but he had no doubt that patience would make the reward all the sweeter.

#hermitshipping #convex #I've had this stuck in my brain for DAYS #i don't think i managed all the details i wanted to convey but I've already decided tumblr is for first drafts anyway #also I'm probably going to write the ~spicy~ continuation for practice so uh #let me know if there's any interest in that or if it should stay confined to the unpublished drafts folder #file: storm writes things

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

For the dca asks, I'm curious about 6, 10, 16, & 17

6. What's your favorite type of art or fic? What genre/flavor/style?

The ones that are catered specifically to me. Lol 😂 But in all seriousness, I'm not sure. I just like slice of life fanfic that explores dark themes. Sometimes fluff for fluffs sake is good too, but I always lean on the hurt/comfort part of things.

Like the comfort has to be earned and mean something for me.

10. What keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the DA had?

Ceph. Like singlehandedly they dragged me in here and now I can't leave.

But I think it's the amount of content for Security Breach and the AI being fully sentient now that provides me more content and makes me far more interested in the fandom back in the day when it was just all theories, horror and cursed screaming children.

16. What's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

UTILIZE THE FULL CAST OF SECURITY BREACH AND IT'S LOCATIONS.

Like outside from just the Glamrocks giving a thumbs up or "lol" at shipping the Daycare Attendent with y/n shananigans.

I love the Security Breach characters too much to see them relegated to background characters and supporting cast. Or just their in game base traits when so much time is given to develop the DA who has less screentime.

I know it's still early in my fic and people think my Monty is a bully, but we just haven't seen him enough and I have like the entirety of Monty lore planned out along with Chica's and Roxy's and DJMM.

I just want to see more characters involved in the story and plot outside of just the Daycare Attendent.

Especially characters like Vanny who a lot of fans like to pretend she doesn't exist.

I always feel Moon's relationship with Vanessa (and/or Vanny) is weird.

Moon knocks out Freddy and drags him to parts and service where Vanessa is waiting.

Vanessa tempts Gregory to check the main stage for a reward and Moon is waiting to instakill you.

It paints the picture of Moon being her little lapdog. More than the other Glamrocks who don't do anything special or specific for Vanny/Vanessa.

To just write Vanny out of the narrative like she's a figment of the past or never existed is really a disservice.

Security Breach was SUPPOSED to be Vanny's game. And yet, the fans won't give her any satisfaction in being the next generation of Afton.

She gets even less content than a stupid clown with anxiety and for some reason the fans are just.... uninterested in her?

If you go with the "Vanny and Vanessa are the same person" angle..... Then she's suffered even for longer and more horribly than Moon angst. Cause she's been physically stabbing children to death against her will.

Can you imagine the mental strain that can put someone under??? Like...during, before and after this? Knowing what you'll be forced to do, doing it and have done it, knowing this will all happen and there's nothing you can do?

This is almost like the Alphys situation in Undertale all over again. Where Alphy's accomplishments and angst is given to Sans or Gaster. And I can't help but be a little salty. Just a tad.

I am also including the eventual Blob and shambling Afton corpse in my fic as well.

I know not every fic can be a multi chaptered adventure that gives attention and love to everyone. It's just not realistic.

If you want to focus completely on the DA, that is also good and I won't stop y'all.

I just wish the others, but Vanny especially, and her relationship with the DA got more love.

17. What's something you'd like to see less of?

Sun Ass. Lol joking. You guys are doing God's work and I love the ass memes.

But if I'm serious. I would kinda just appreciate less manipulative Sun.

Like I get it. I do love myself some feral and cheeky Sun, but I kinda feel it's a little contradictory to his character presented in the game, the very short time we spend with him.

Like if my Sun is manipulative, he's only as manipulative as an average five year old.

Like I don't think the guy is a master of psychological manipulation and couldn't gaslight gatekeep girlboss his way out of a paper bag.

The worst I see him doing is stealing Protags keys and not being entirely truthful in motivations for doing so, but I always like perceiving him as a character who's easy to read and wears his emotions on his sleeve.

Like in-game, even if he didn't disclose the reasons he wanted the lights on, it was pretty clear that he was distressed before he fully jumps on the desk and screams at Gregory.

I just can't see him as being crafty or manipulative that much.

Or if he does, it's pretty obvious in his intentions. Like, it works for children, but not for adults.

"So you killed a man, let's talk about that"

"OH MY GOODNESS! Y/N!!? IS THAT A NEW HAIRCUT??? YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE!!! IMGONNAGOAWAYBEFORYOUPROCESSTHISSENTENCEBYEEEEE"

"........wait..... SUN!!!"

Cheeky and manipulative Sun is alright. But I vastly prefer foot in mouth Sun. :3

#fnaf #fnaf sb #five nights at freddys security breach #five nights at freddys #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #ask game #danachan's rants #danachan's asks #danachan's replies

[smol-feralgremlin]

Hello and happy STS! :D If your main characters were sucked into our world, The Devil Is a Part-Timer-style (i.e., dropped into our world without the resources/status they had in theirs, transformed into basically human with no powers, and the only thing they've got are the clothes on their back and their memories), how well would they fare? What would they do to survive, who's failing at adapting and how, and most importantly, who is working at McDonald's?

Hello! I started this moments after you sent it in, and then my brain proceeded to go on strike about writing ANYTHING. But better late than never right?

Soooooo...this is gonna be a shit show. None of the worlds I've created are like our own(?) so I'll do Shadow Triad.

It's gonna be a little long, so it's all under the read more.

Oli takes things as they come. He adapts fairly well and spends a good amount of time consoling Petrel, while supporting Vailon in his attempts to find work while also looking for his own work. There's always someone who is looking for a little help with metalworking or carpentry. He finds himself incredibly frustrated by the fact he can't just call breezes to him anymore to cool him down as he works or to move things around, or catch voices better, but otherwise the loss of his magic isn't as bad as it could be. Being the calmest of the three, and usually known as the "ringleader" he becomes even more of a sturdy rock for his partners.

Vailon adapts best of well, he's done so many odd jobs in his own world that its not a problem for him to do it again, and this time he doesn't have to try and hide what hes doing from his parents so it goes even better. He's the one who works at McDonalds, and he doesn't hate it. It's different from the other food service jobs because its our world, but not so different he can't get the hang of it in a day or so.

The one who has the hardest time adapting is Petrel, because now she's in a world with none of her family connections and few skills that would be useful for life here. She's always been working as a spy under her grandfather since she was a young teen, and as an assassin since she was 20. Both are things that require...a lot of what she now doesn't have now because she's separated from her family connections, the moneys shes earned herself, and her family wealth.

The other problem is just how FILTHY she comprehends our world as. She keeps asking cleaning staff for the supplies necessary to clean things herself, or when shes not allowed to do it herself she'll ask for someone to do it while she watches. And she's very polite about it. But that's not exactly how things work here and it's incredibly distressing for her. She's used to people knowing who she is, and accommodating her "quirks". She's been asked to leave several buildings actually. Turns out most people don't appreciate having someone who flinches and keeps throwing pinches of salt when a shadow moves too quickly, the constant knocking at doorways, rearranging things to stop the worst of the feelings of foreboding and how if she doesn't fix things a vengeful spirit can and will get her. Especially devastating is the loss of her wardrobe, which has the fine linen gloves she uses to protect herself from directly touching surfaces, and all her soaps and cleansing salts and all manner of things she uses to keep herself feeling clean. Oh dear, she'd lose her shit about the quality of fabrics and the state of the textile industry. (in that she's devastated about how bad it can be) There's so many things she has trouble with in regards to our world. She stays at home a lot where she can actually control things.

She does ink wash paintings to sell, which she values at a fair price, which is rather high considering the materials used and the fact that she's been honing her skills since she was very young, which means that it doesn't always sell very quickly and she's just a little bit distraught about it because she wants to contribute to the household funds. So what's a woman who knows she's attractive and isn't afraid to show off supposed to do? Starts an Onlyfans or something similar and goes for nudes. Vailon and Oli help compose the shots. No one else has to touch her and she can do everything in the safety and comfort of being at home. She sells her ink wash paintings alongside her explicit material as well. Win-win in her opinion.

Vailon picked up on social media really fast. Oli adapted well to it and Petrel is a minor snob about it, preferring paper and ink, which both men playfully tease her about.

"Petrel, people are going to think you were raised by the elderly people of this world." "I don't care. I didn't practice to have an elegant hand under my grandmothers tutelage for nothing, which a necessary skill for a refined noble lady, and I will not disgrace my grandmothers teaching or the art of ink and paper by dulling my fingertips on glass in order to communicate my words." "lol" "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"

#thank you for the ask! #Petrel has decided that this world is her personal hell #As much as he teases her #Vailon is empathetic to her struggles #and while Oli is the rock of the trio #Vailon and Petrel do their best to make sure he feels appreciated and cared for as well #Overall Vailon is having the better time of things #asks #writeblr #gremlin writing #Shadow Triad

[caffeinejournalist23]

Suburban Nightmare The Scariest Part About Moving to the Suburbs is the Fear of Having to Move Back to the Hood

I grew up in the "hood" of Northwest Ohio and throughout my childhood I was repeatedly told by teachers and social workers "you have to have a college degree." To survive, to live a good life, or to go on vacation once a year, they never specified why we needed to have one - the adults just told us this from the third grade onward in a tone that was serious and haunted us as we clawed our way to high school graduation. Well I moved to the suburbs to pursue a college education, received my Bachelor of Arts, but then wound up jobless for the first 2.5 months after graduating, fearing that I may have to return to the life I thought I left behind in the hood.

This is what it was like.

Part 1/3: Restless

The first few days were not too bad.

I finished school on a Tuesday and had the graduation ceremony the following Saturday. Though I was anxious to begin working full time again after taking almost a month off to focus on school, I forced myself to appreciate having a few days to catch my breath after completing the toughest semester of my undergrad career - under the assumption that my boss would call me back to give me my schedule as promised.

But they never called me back.

I texted. I called. I emailed. Nothing.

I reached a supervisor in my department who promised they would make sure my employer called me once they returned from vacation, but the supervisor also warned me "if you get a new opportunity, take it, because I'm not sure what [they] are planning with you."

I texted. I called. I emailed - for weeks.

Still nothing.

Feeling scorned, neglected as an employee, and painfully confused, I knew I shouldn't go back; not only was I completely ghosted, but this happened on top of several occasions prior when I was not paid on time, not paid the proper amount, and even scammed by a company hacker. And I knew I didn't deserve the shame of going back to a place begging for employment where I had already been so mistreated.

So the job search began.

Part time. Part-time remote. Entry level. Entry level temporary. Full-time summer. Freelance. Temporary full-time summer.

The amount of key terms I came up with to expand my search for jobs ought to have earned me a certificate in SEO optimization. Within a matter of weeks I had easily applied for hundreds of jobs; some remote, some on-site, some part-time, some full-time, some freelance, some temporary.

Job applications had just one line to mention my education - school, degree, and major; I have a degree in English and Digital Media Studies. I could generalize my degree to a Bachelor's in digital communications. I minored in criminal and social justice. I took a digital photography class. I've completed course service-learning hours and internships with a variety of non-profits. I took an HTML coding class. I wrote a parody of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. I graduated with a 3.6 GPA. I got an A+ in a digital journalism class. I wrote a 20+ page essay for my capstone that I plan to expand into a book. My second capstone was a documentary I could submit to a film festival. These extra points of academic accomplishment were bullet-listed in applications where there was a degree description space, otherwise these were only recognized and respected in my LinkedIn profile.

There wasn't enough space in the education history line to explain all of the challenges I surpassed or all of the awesome awards and accomplishments I earned while getting the degree to write in my education history. I started a student org focused on newscasting. I was the VP of our Black Student Union for 2 years and spoke on behalf of the union at a peaceful protest following the death of George Floyd. I won recognition for Student Org of the Year - twice in a row. I became the student manager of the student engagement department. I was an active member of the Latino Student Union for over 3 years. I petitioned for a town-hall meeting for students and faculty to better our DEI awareness across campus. I was invited to a one-on-one meeting with the university president. I advocated for PRISM and LGBTQ+ acceptance across our campus. I hosted and evaluated numerous surveys to better serve our campus community. I participated in a plethora of volunteer opportunities and campus events. I was an orientation leader. I was an RA. I served as a mentor to underclassmen. My name consistently appeared on the Dean's List.

Suddenly it seemed like my degree did not carry much value. Few job postings prioritized candidates with my degree type - "digital communications but a degree in marketing preferred." It's like they wanted the skills earned from my degree as part of the job description, not the qualifications. Most job postings didn't seem to value my degree at all: "remote communications strategist - degree in journalism or other related field a plus, not a requirement." I had slaved for four years; four years of 18 - 21 credit hour semesters while spear-heading a student org and working anywhere from 2 to 4 jobs at a time, and some trauma healing/family drama because the Universe likes to keep herself entertained I guess. I was the first in my family for over 4 generations to earn a college degree. I took out tens of thousands in student loans. I went to an exam on 4 hours of sleep. I closed work at 1am and went to class the next morning at 8. I had nervous breakdowns and still got my 8-page essays turned in by 11:59pm.

But none of that seemed to matter. In the eyes of employers, overcoming all of those obstacles and challenges did not reflect how I was a good candidate for their position.

The only thing employers seemed to really take into consideration was previous work experience; that shouldn't have been a problem for me, as my resume was rich with experience by having to work to pay for school anyway. I'm a previous graphic designer. I was an intern for a local newspaper. I was a full-time social media manager for one summer. I have various experience mentoring kids/students ages 14 through 19. I was a shift leader at Family Video before the pandemic made us close all our stores. I was a remote political journalist during the 2022 midterms. I've been a coffee barista and was promoted to opening shift leader after my first 30 days. I coordinated a friend's wedding. I became a freelance state manager for a remote election reporting company. I managed the student engagement department and adapted our traditional events to a virtual medium. I've filed parking permits and incident reports. I've painted yard signs. I've hosted people to their dining seats. I've supervised. I've lead. I've delegated. I've supported. I've created. And I've always worked so so hard because in any and every job I could not sleep at night unless I did my best.

The few jobs I did hear back from said they chose "a better candidate" - aka someone with more experience. Either places are preferring to hire older people who have had the chance to garner more experience after college, or getting a college degree is redundant - and that notion of my hard work, discipline, and financial sacrifices from the past four years amounting to arbitrary value was what really started to freak me out.

The college dorm I was escaping homelessness in started looking like a haunted house; the frustration and hopelessness was written in the walls. My life started getting scary. Had my hopes and dreams been built on a lie? Was college just a deferment of the demise set for me by being born and raised in poverty?

The vacancy of my roommate's absence was soon followed by my own absence of income, food, and purpose. No meal plan. No job. No savings. No fail safe. No side hustle.

And no idea what to do next.

#suburbannightmare #mundane photography #amatuer photography #photoblog #photography #poverty #inequality #hood #suburbs #psychthriller #aesthetic #series #photo series #caffeinejournalist