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#— loser(s)
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NPMD best line deliveries
oh shit! oh fuck!! i didnt think thered be a skele'uhn here ?!? im so fucking scared of skele'uhnz!!!
dont frighten him pokey you nasssssty boy
were going to jail...and with my luck no one will even B O T H E R making me their bitch...
🐦 heyus the thing about a bãrbĕqüe...it brings folks together...from awl wawlks of laife...theyres a storhé behand everyh burrghurr...everyh kehbahhb...
but I...called God a sonofa B word...who am iaieEUGHAHuhuuuh...
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autizmotbh · 3 months
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skinny guys are outdated
get yourself a fat fuck
AND I STAND BY THAT
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and angel dust and carmilla redesign because i can
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astrolavas · 10 months
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these outfits? camp!
+ bonus extra-swagless hunter to restore balance in the world:
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atdawn · 5 months
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MERLIN | 2.04 Lancelot and Guinevere
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sojutrait · 8 days
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TROUBLE IN PARADISE???!!!! socialite chu hua moretti seen at local fair with her kids BUT NO HUBBY? single mom era ????
the single mom in question
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my sister is geeking and in love (unfortunately)
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clownsuu · 8 months
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I give you an
A
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A
Also I stole this ask just so I can post this fuggin weirdo I made smhh (I raise from the dead just to post an oc again LMAOAOAOAO)
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Hopefully this will be my last one in a long while I can live with 7 fuggin wh characters HHFHFUDJSNKSSJ- well- technically 8 if you include Betsy-
But to keep it (somewhat) short and sweet- my loser- a ye ol Milkman- Zachary Milksop (chronically lactose intolerant) and Betsy (a lil mascot moo sentient puppet)
Another character made almost spur in the moment again (like Mari) though thankfully not another bUG, but just some average human smhh. He’s a really simple guy, a loser, is as interesting as normal milk— he’s just the ye ol milkman who delivers you that gud shid smhh— enjoyer of the finer things in life (lunchables). A lil flirty and charming (in possibly the cringiest way possible) however he doesn’t really seem to pick up anyone besides the local cows that constantly harass him (and eats his pants). He enjoys watching them though, from v e r y m u c h afar——
hes just kinda, “that guy”
Also Betsy- a very sweet woman! She always greets everyone and has the friendliest extroverted personality ever! Always the type to bring (albeit tiny) gifts for her favorite neighbors and always leads when talking to anyone. Not like she would allow Zach to say anything anyway, she hates his polyester guts (and only him smhh)
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xhdream · 2 months
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LOSER(S)
01. a souvenir from my biggest fan
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pairing: youtuber theo x fem!reader
genre: smut w/ a sprinkle of plot wc: 2.9k
summary: the charming guy running the youtube channel you enjoy watching mostly because of him and not the games he’s playing, moves in the apartment across from yours, and turns out to be the biggest asshole you’ve encountered in years
chapter contains: switch!reader, unprotected sex, cussing, dirty talk, choking (m), oral (f), orgasm denial
a/n: please, keep in mind english is not my first language, i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed
!! this is pure fiction for entertainment purposes
📁 loser(s) masterlist
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“Wow, you’re an asshole in real life,” you keep talking bitterly with little flames in your eyes. “I’m actually impressed with your acting skills.”
A frustrated airy laugh slips through your lips while Taeyang’s, on the other hand, curl up at the corners, amused at how seriously you’re taking this whole situation.
“Sorry to ruin the little fantasy you had of me, sweetheart.”
“You should be glad that I prefer to spend my time doing anything else than dealing with you,” you turn to your front door and flip the key, “cause I can just call the cops.”
“Are you sure that’s what you really prefer?”
This is not the first time you’re fighting Choi Taeyang in the middle of the hallway, nor it’s the last unless you move buildings. His youtube channel is growing rapidly which calls for more content and less peace for you.
He's still leaning against the door frame with his headset hanging from his neck. The subtle mischievous spark in his eyes, the one you know so well from the multiple videos you’ve seen from him, is so different in real life - straight up mean, making you wonder how you used to find his channel fun and comforting despite the terrifying games he plays.
“You’re at my fucking door almost every single night,” he continues. “Maybe I should call them, you seem more of a stalker than a marketing manager.”
“Fuck off,” you spit out entering your apartment. “You’re a pathetic loser with no life.”
“Bitch.” Taeyang slams the door of his home the second you shut yours.
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A month ago you couldn't wait to finish work and hop on the bus to head back home.
Now, you go home on foot so it can take you extra minutes to arrive.
The time you finish work is the time Taeyang comes back from the gym, and by the hour you're lounging in bed ready to relax with your new favorite show is the hour he turns on the usual scary games, and transforms your cozy time in a mirage. Today is going to be no different, because he has zero empathy for people’s feelings, so you take your time even with walking towards the elevator after you arrive at your apartment building.
“Wait!”
You make out the too familiar voice echoing in the hallway along with the stamping sound of his footsteps just when you press the button.
Taeyang runs through the open doors, and you walk in after him faking a smile. His ebony black hair is half wet and his outfit casual, consisting only of a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt under his unzipped hoodie. Judging by the bag with beer cans in his hand your guesses are correct - his workout is done and he's going to take his seat in front of the computer.
The unnerving silence fills the air the second the doors close in front of your eyes.
“Next time fill up your mouth with your panties or something,” Taeyang glances up at the changing neon numbers. “What if you accidentally scream my name? I don’t wanna hear that.”
He fakes a disgusted expression and shakes his shoulders as an attempt to get rid of the image in his head.
You knew putting your earphones in to blast music as you use your vibrator is risky since sometimes you tend to be more vocal than others, but what were you supposed to do when all of his exaggerated yelling and cussing comes through the wall exactly where your bed is?
You can’t touch yourself during the day because you’re at work, and now you can’t do it before sleep because of him.
Your fake chuckle rings hollow in the small space. You look away, but you cannot escape his face though. You both see each other in the reflecting glass that’s all around you; it’s a little blurry, but not enough to not be aware that you’re staring at each other.
“Good to know you take off that headset once in a while.” You raise your chin up. “Maybe I should touch myself more often if that’s gonna help a loser like you get a life.”
The doors slide open, and you walk out first, feeling Taeyang’s gaze all over your ass.
“Is your boring corporate job stressing you out, sweetheart?” He calls out behind you, as you walk down the corridor. “Is that why you’re taking your anger out on me since day one?”
“I love my job,” you say when he catches up your pace.
“And you hate mine.”
“Because of you,” you glare at him, stopping in front of your apartment. You don’t even realise when you started raising your voice. “It’s your lack of responsibility and consideration I have a problem with, not what you do.”
“Shh, you’re going to disturb the neighbours.” Taeyang puts a finger on his lips, and for the first time you feel the urge to slap a person.
He comes closer to you while staring at your cleavage. It’s flushed with a delicate reddish color that he could associate only with himself and the emotions he brings within you.
“Do you want me to help you out with that? I can help you relieve some of the pressure, doll… most of it.”
You breathe in once, looking in his eyes.
You breathe in twice… recognising the fresh earthy aroma coming from his skin and damp hair.
It’s not your voice that gives him an answer, but your lips that smash against his own.
That’s exactly what Taeyang hoped for, and his arms immediately go around your waist, pulling you close after he drops the bag of beer cans on the ground. His hands slide down to grip your ass cheeks through the linen fabric of your pants, that’s too thin and his cock already starts to gain pressure from how much it allows him to feel in his palms.
“My place or yours?” You pull back just to ask the question then kiss him again.
Taeyang’s hands go up, sneaking under your shirt.
“You already know what my room looks like, it’s time I see yours.”
“That’s fair.”
He doesn’t leave you out of sight as he gets rid of his clothes while you unbutton your shirt. Once you’re left in your lingerie he doesn’t give you a chance to remove it, because he pushes you onto the bed, covering your skin with wet kisses. You look gorgeous in it anyways, so he doesn’t mind if it stays on a little longer.
“You’re so fuckin’ hot,” he mutters against the flesh of your tummy before grinding his tongue up to your bellybutton. His hands are squishing your breasts harshly making you gasp. “Fuck, drives me crazy.”
His teeth bite the hem of your lace panties, pull and let it drop with a smack.
When he moves up to lock lips with yours again they seem to move even more eagerly than minutes before. His tongue invades your mouth almost with a frustration, leaving you out of breath and panting for more.
But you rather get that yourself.
“What the—“ He stumbles around his words surprised from suddenly finding himself on his back.
You swiftly succeed in straddling his hips as he didn’t have the chance to react in time to prevent you from getting on top.
“Shut up,” you say, unclipping your bra and rubbing your clit on his stiffened length at the same time. You still have your panties on and you see his gaze darkening from wanting to rip them off. “Mm, your cock is so hard...”
“Take it in your greedy mouth then.” He grips your hips forcing them to move quicker. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“Yeah, but that would be too easy.”
Taeyang laughs before grabbing your arms to bring your face down into his.
You gasp through a smile creeping up on your face. You can’t hide the enjoyment from his rough responses to every single thing you do.
“These tricks don’t work on me, doll. Be a good girl and do as I say from now on.”
“You’re not the only player here, pretty boy.” You pull his bottom lip with your teeth, and his erection twitches against your clit, both from the bite and your attitude. “I will suck your dick when I decide you’ve earned it.”
Before you realise a thing, Taeyang flips you over and strips you from your panties pushing them inside your mouth. His hands bend your knees with fingers digging into your skin finally spreading you apart. As his mouth waters from the seductive sight of what’s between your thighs, yours spit out the underwear.
“Tsk,” Taeyang picks it up, and muffles your irritated whines by returning them back where they were. “What an ungrateful doll. I’m doing you a favor and this is how you say thank you?”
He holds his palm over your lips to keep the fabric in place while his other one gives your right boob a slap followed by a few more after he catches you make a muffled pleasant sound.
Eventually the grumpy look on your face dissipates into a rapture as the pleasure from his tongue comes in waves, each more powerful than the other. He alternates between sucking and lapping on your juices while also playing with the pacing of his licks over your bundle of nerves.
“Fuck, you taste too sweet for such an angry girl,” he groans before gliding his tongue through your sloppy folds only to swirl the tip of it around your clit again.
And you eat pussy too well for such a loser.
Your chin begins to leak from your drooling, slipping down your neck as your panties get soaked with your moans and spit. The fact you’re not able to be loud as you need to makes your jaw clench with frustration, but your pussy even more aroused under Taeyang’s tongue.
His grip on your thighs tighten painfully limiting your shakiness as he buries his coarse mouth even deeper, grazing his teeth against your intimate lips; tongue tracing stripes from your dripping hole up to your most sensitive point over and over again. He makes out with your entire cunt the same way he kisses you - mean with a desire to control.
“I can make it feel even better if you promise not to empty your filthy mouth,” he glances at you, giving you a nice view of all the glistening fluids all over his face.
You nod too quickly, you realise, but most of the stubbornness left you the moment his tongue touched you for the first time.
You grip the sheets cause your fingers are already tempted to pull out the underwear the more his swollen tip levels with your entrance.
You’ve never taken such big size before and your heart starts racing excitedly at the thought of the appealing girth sinking inside you.
“Shit,” Taeyang’s brows knit together while his length fills you up bit by bit, tightening the knot of pleasure in his core. “You’re too fuckin’ small and tight for me.”
He inserts it all the way slowly, wanting you to feel the way you suck in with ease every inch of him; wanting you to know just how bad you needed him. However, once it’s in, his patience dies down giving his hips the freedom to move as quickly as possible.
Taeyang runs a hand through his dark hair, then moves it over your lower tummy, pressing against his cock that’s reaching the desired spot over and over again. His sharp gaze follows your eyes fluttering in bliss, as the rush he creates invades your body.
Once he leans in to hang your right leg over his shoulder for a deeper thrust, your repressed mewls rise even higher; erotic heavy growls just like in the videos he watches to jerk off.
“We get along so much better when you have your mouth shut, don’t you think?” He fans your face while holding himself up on his hands.
A groan escapes his puffy lips before he could catch it after you bury fingers in his hair and tug on the roots, pulling him closer.
With one tilt of his head Taeyang drops your panties down after stealing them from your mouth with his teeth.
“Mind if I keep those?” He asks and receives the sound of the first real raw moans of yours as an answer.
It would be a foolish lie if he says he won’t be thinking about them after this.
“A souvenir from my biggest fan…” He whispers in your ear and you can feel the intoxicating effect that his voice alone has on you.
His hips slow down for the first time, moving slowly in circles while he catches his breath.
“Shit, Tae… Faster.” You pull his hair like you’re holding on for dear life, as you sense every inch of him making you more dizzy with those slow massaging motions.
“Faster?” He repeats with a sudden powerful slam from his hips, that catches you off guard. “Are you close?” He pulls out almost all the way only to shove himself again, stabbing your g-spot. “Wanna cum… is that it?”
“Yeah…” Your whimper gets lost from the lewd noises when he proceeds to pound into you, but this time rapidly without stopping for a second. The skin on skin slapping merges with Taeyang’s hitched heavy breathing, but he still manages to catch the little broken yes-es coming from underneath him. “Fuck—“
Your mouth remains open, but not because your awaited climax arrives, but because Taeyang pulls out just before it does.
The burning dissatisfaction from what was about to be your most intense orgasm being stolen from you forces you to turn over and wail in your pillow.
“Shhh,” Taeyang turns you back around, slapping your inner thigh with his drenched cock. Your squirmy lips bring a devilish smirk on his face. “It’s not that bad, doll. You can take it.”
A moment later his eyes watch you suspiciously raising up.
You grab the base of his dick determined to take charge.
“I wanted to cum so bad from this pretty cock,” you coo moving your fist up and down, as he rests on his knees in front of you with his unbelievably captivating plump lips and cold gaze.
His face begins to scrunch up from your quickening hand, and the way your playful thumb keeps going over his red tip like it knows just when is the perfect time to do it.
“I’ve never had such a big one in my pussy before…” You add on to his arousal. “Feels nice.”
“Shit,” Taeyang throws his head back. His chest rises heavily while his abs clench from the stimulation. “Just nice?” He lifts up to look at you challengingly. It drives him nuts how you always lit up a fire in his chest by irritating him, and turning him on at the same time.
“Go on…” You provoke him, squeezing the leaky shape of his head. “You’ve called me worse than that.”
Taeyang gulps when you drop his erection only to grip it with your aroused walls instead. You both sigh in sync as you get in contact with the electrifying warmth once again, that now feels ten times more intense.
Although it’s subtle, you don’t miss the change in his expression when you begin to bounce just like you wanted to in the beginning.
“Don’t.” You command the second you sense the presence of his hands on your waist, desperate to regain control. “You’re going to let me do this.”
You quicken your movements, watching him chew on his mouth from the overwhelming rush he desperately tries to keep under control.
“Why…” Taeyang’s voice comes out too breathless to continue his question. The fact your hand wraps around his throat to put pressure on the sides of his neck doesn’t help either. This is the first time he allows something like this, and it makes his heart flutter from an unfamiliar thrill.
“Why what, pretty boy?” You slow down, curious to know what he’s thinking right now.
Taeyang only shakes his head, turning his knuckles white from gripping the sheets. He wants to push you on your back, to cuss at you and fuck you until you’re sore, and can’t mutter a single word to him… but he’s captivated. It’s like every time you touch him you secretly cast a spell on him that he’s unable to break through.
The only thing he could say is…
“Just… keep going.”
You smile, tilting his chin higher to meet his eyes.
The speed of your lower body picks up when you begin to ride him chasing your high - with the head of his cock kissing right where you need it, and the most arousing sounds slipping from his lips that begin to pout with every next move.
“Holy s-shit—“ Taeyang chokes on his moan moving his hands on your waist, but not interrupting your movements. “Y/N…”
“Not yet,” you say, feeling shivers down your spine from the way he pants your name. “Wait for me.” You release his throat, trying your best to keep the rapid pace going.
Taeyang cusses in the crook of your neck where he starts biting harshly to distract himself from how bad he needs to cum, not caring at all that you keep hissing from his sucking.
“Can’t…” he grunts against the wet skin under your earlobe. “Fuck, come on, cream my cock you slut.” He grabs a handful of your hair, and that turns out to be just enough to snap the overwhelming knot in your tummy.
You rock your hips back and forth more slowly, panting as the ecstatic rush passes through your veins when suddenly Taeyang’s weak husky voice surprises you.
“You’re amazingly hot.”
Your two fingers slip through his lips and he allows that too.
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! please do not repost, copy or translate my works
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pyjamacryptid · 9 months
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I haven’t watched strange new worlds yet but I have seen it all over tumblr and [bursts into the snw room, jumps onto the couch, huge smoothie in hand] YOU’RE TELLING ME THOSE LOSERS HELD H A N D S WHEN THEY FIRST MET?????????? … IN PUBLIC? who knew first contact got an encore
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seizethegay420 · 2 months
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PHOENIX BECAME A LAWYER FOR EDGEWORTH AGAIN!??! WHAT A LOSER OH MY GOD
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kruxband · 5 months
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reblog if you and your f/o's dynamic is literally just connecticut clark and malfina
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[pro/comshippers DNI]
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butch-chastity · 1 year
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one thing i don't understand is that cass as a fully realized character has the potential to be so so obnoxious. truly annoying & self assured on a deep, fundamental level. and yet no one writes her that way. why.
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whatthefuckisasweep · 11 months
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i wish to repair the fandom trauma we have with baths and stan. what if he had a rather… really nice one? :,)
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I like how sincerely Luis believes that he can become the hero of all these tales he once heard about the fight against evil, but let's be honest.
If Luis was a knight, he would have kissed Leon's hand and said, "My Prince Charming, I'm fighting for you," and then he would have taken two steps away and immediately fell to the ground, tripping over his own armor.
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lovewingburb · 3 days
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wolfcat yuri ft jordana and cinder siblingism cinder is the most annoying older brother ever
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empresslilaccc · 7 months
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if your tiny little cock can't please a woman, you have no business getting any pleasure from it either. lock it up all month long 🤭
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battlefordreamdiner · 6 months
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13. Clock
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