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hearthwxrmth · 4 days

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He showers, at least, before bundling up the bedding in his arms. It's still damp, still red, still...

He'll take another shower after. Maybe two. Maybe more. The hotter the better, but for right now he needs to just...

A breath, another, trying to taste anything but the repulsive lingering... He couldn't let his head linger on what he was tasting because none of the words he managed to coax ere going to lead to a result that wasn't the same dry heaving. Every time he closed his eyes it was red.

At least the plentiful hearths in his cabin had firewood. Dressed in a towel, kindling and sheets and clothes tossed in to a pile, and flames beckoned from the ever burning hearth in the entranceway. Did he say a prayer? Or let his head linger on what if's and options and what he could have feasibly done differently.

He'll watch the flames til they burn it all away, and then just. Crash on a couch.

#;self para #ft; quest 20

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ashton-ryder · 2 months

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int. penthouse 2b - day. 16 dec. 5pm.

Ash had initially cleared out all floors with the other volunteers each taking a few floors, the wexley penthouses had been initially evacuated by the family already. He had taken a couple of hours to recover from the nausea and light-headedness from the inevitable inhalation to the carbon monoxide while they were evacuating everyone, resting in the diner with Charlie. But as they were doing the head count for the final numbers of all residence accounted for (expect Sada who insists on playing with death upstairs, suits Ashton just fine), they realized one was missing. Who was it? The volunteers redid the headcount marking off residents to the list of apartments and it came down to one apartment.

Penthouse 2B.

Ashton volunteers to head back up to check on the place, at least well enough to be on his two feet and think straight, a deep breath within the stairwell before walking into the top floors, an unfamiliar place to him, strange for the hallway to lead to only two big apartments. He quickly banged on the door loudly, no time for pleasantries. Anyone inhaling this for this long would most certainly pass out and so he resorted to slamming into the door.

It gave way after a few slams into the apartment to find the one last missing resident, Hawthorn, tied up to the bed.. well, completely naked. It was a perplexing... scene; Murder? Suicide? Accident? But Ash didn't exactly have time to investigate the scene and conduct a full scan. He rushed over to untie the rope, hoping there'd still be time to save him, if anything. "C'mon don't die on us yet.." he quickly wrapped him with the blanket underneath at least for some decency and hauled the man over his shoulder and headed downstairs to look for Toby. All residents had now been accounted for. Whether there'll be any fatalities... that depends on Hawthorn.

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#e: the gas leak #;self para #cue dramatic but also slightly confused music

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isaackoskov · 1 year

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2 AM

"My insecurities surround me like lions in the den

And I feel like I'm losing touch with what I am again"

2 am... Usually the time Isaac went to sleep, if he was all alone in his cabin. If the clients had found their company for the night and he wasn't one of them. They were bittersweet nights. A break from constantly being socially "on", from wearing that mask of flirty extrovert, from having to perform in front of everyone. They were night that allowed him rest and recovery. Allowed for his mask to slip and let another side of Isaac come to the surface. One only he and his family knew. The quiet one. The thoughtful, the reflective, the loving one. The one who would take over eventually, when he was done at the Haus.

But the bitter part being this side of him overthinking, spiraling, loathing the other. He wasn't sure he could call it a mask, a facade, anymore. By now, who was he in public if not the whore? Who of his friends knew him as anything else? But it was still an endless challenge to accept that was him. An integrated part of who he was a person. Who would want a whore?

So he tried not to think about it. Every evening he spent like this in silence, drowning out all the noise in his head with music, with the escapism of every word in his books. What better way to escape your own world by replacing it with someone else's? With a couple of sleeping pills to keep him from laying awake and tearing himself apart all night. His own secret recipe for rest, only to repeat the cycle when he woke up again.

#;self para #;musings #;ramblings #;random blurb

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mpviggo · 2 months

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Far Away | self-para

Amidst the chaos of his tumultuous past, there was a specific memory etched into Viggo's mind like a scar, influencing his behavior and shaping his daily life. He still woke up to it at night, no longer screaming from the memory that wrenched him from sleep.

It was a night veiled in shadows, the air thick with tension as Viggo found himself standing in the darkness outside a modest home. His target lay inside, a woman innocent of any crime beyond witnessing the sins of others. Yet, duty and loyalty to his employer demanded her elimination.

As he stood there, knife gripped tightly in hand, his gaze shifted to the dim glow emanating from the windows. Inside, the woman slept peacefully, unaware of the imminent threat lurking in the darkness. But it wasn't her slumber that gave Viggo pause; it was the sight of her children nestled beside her, their innocent faces bathed in the gentle moonlight.

In that moment, a torrent of conflicting emotions surged within him—anger, regret, and a flicker of something resembling compassion. His mother's teachings echoed in his mind, her words of protection and the sanctity of family resonating with newfound clarity. It was a pivotal moment, a crossroads where Viggo's convictions clashed with the demands of his past.

In the end, it was not duty or allegiance that stayed his hand, but a primal instinct—a refusal to become the monster his past deeds sought to mold him into. With a heavy heart and a burdened soul, Viggo turned away from the path of bloodshed, fleeing into the night and igniting a manhunt that would haunt him for years to come. He had been running ever since, the screams and sight of that innocent family's blood in his hands that would never be clean no matter how hard he tried.

He woke up less and less from their memory, but it still lingered. Which was why he stood awake on his kitchen at 2 am, hands that once took like now slicing through vegetables and meat, mind filled with both blood and recipes.

#;feline threads #mp; prompt #;self para

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etherealsinners · 6 months

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there's something T E D I O U S about the throw of a dice: the way a coin lands, even by chance, there are too many possibilities —- algorithms that express the VULGAR ways anything...and everything can go wrong.

he’s quiet; remembers darkness like a deafening silence eating away at his insides like locus ( the irony to his defeat was the expectation he’d ended his life with; honourable death, never meant a stop off at the pearly gates...no. he still had devil eyes and sin tainting his path ). it’s careful preparation...until it isn’t.

what’s the last thing he remembers? hoping his brother found a better place than he was bound for...

or maybe it’s the dream: a settling force of watching his daughter grow older. of breaking cycles he had set in motion a thousand years ago. he doesn’t question where his feet land. doesn’t find the paranoia that weaves it's way through the motives of every being that seems to look his way concerning. it’s more so the LOST time, months he’s aware he’s been stripped of...silently hoping it’s with anything but ill intent and yet?

he’s fought too many battles to expect anything less.

#; niklaus mikaelson #;self para #only a small one #tvd rp

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khonshu-mp · 1 year

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Nothing But Time

TW: mentions of dead bodies ; murder ;

A satisfied sigh escaped the crimson stained lips of the god. Nodding to himself he wiped away the stain from the corners of his lips before standing up. “Thank you, I’ve been dying to have a taste again.” The meal laid limp in the sand. The god began walking away as the wind picked up, burying the body in a moment’s notice. Not that it would be missed - the mortals would be ecstatic to find that this tyrant suddenly was gone.

He never understood why he was pegged in a negative light. He was doing them a favour! But all they could see was the cavity missing the most important muscle - and that made him a bad guy. Huffing to the thoughts of mortals he pouted on the way back to his temple - or eventually what would be his temple in the New Kingdom.

The god eventually grew tired of his title - instead he wanted to change what they thought of him. He learned how to watch over those who travelled at night - making sure that the evil spirits that presented themselves as the elements would not harm.

He would appear to those who were struggling to conceive. Moving the phases of the moon ahead for them to become fertile. All he asked in return was to be named the reason why. Soon the word of Khonshu spread - ‘the provider.’ He was taken all over the world to help heal those in need - including a princess.

The travelling made the god fall in love with the world - he finally understood why people travelled. He wanted to travel to every corner of the world - and eventually he realised there were no corners - or an end of the world.

#;self para #;nothing but time

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proship-angelbunny · 1 month

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Since I just saw a post about this I figured I’d remind everyone

THERES NO SUCH THING AS A INHERENTLY HARMFUL PARAPHILIA!! Yes even those ones. There only harmful ways of expressing these attractions

#🎀#proship selfship #proselfship #selfship proship #proship #self ship #proship please interact #pro para #paraphile safe #paraphiles please interact #paraphilia #pro paraphile #pro fic #pro fiction #might lose followers for this but I don’t care #i #also I’m actually going to sleep now #goodnight everyone <3

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neuroticboyfriend · 13 days

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some disabled & neurodivergent side of tumblr safety & etiquette:

dont: dump negativity on positivity posts. if you dont relate to a post, it's either not aimed at you, or you're not ready for its message (and thats ok!)

do: make your own posts expressing how you feel; your feelings still matter and your blog is just the place to express them.

dont: speak over people with different experiences than yours, or speak on things you don't know about.

do: have an open mind and educate yourself on things you don't know much about - uplift the voices of people with direct experience.

dont: send unprompted vent or advice asks to blogs that dont have that as a stated purpose.

do: check out a blog to see if they take vent/advice asks; if you dont see anything, ask if you can vent/seek advice first - or add a disclaimer at the start of your asks, with TW.

dont: engage with triggering content. dont post your triggers publicly either, my lord.

do: engage with content that helps you express, process, and cope with your health. take breaks when you need them, too.

dont: treat bloggers like celebrities or like they owe you a response.

do: treat bloggers like regular people; respect boundaries.

dont: demonize ANY condition. including paraphilic disorders, sexual/moral OCD, personality disorders, addiction, or factitious disorders

remember: we're all dealing with our own stuff, and we're all in this together. if anyone acts as if this isnt true, they're probably not in a good place themself.

(feel free to add on!)

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wallpapedits-vvc · 6 months

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Matching wallpapers #180

Like/reblog if you save ✨

None of this wallpapers/pictures belongs to me, I just do the matching.

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saltandskeletrons · 2 years

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Hamilton was one of the first pop culture medias I was really into with a cheating plot line and I was like damn. Can’t believe this guy threw away his successful career he dedicated his whole life to and incredible wife and family for one hook up. I should not have been surprised Apparently this is very common and easy for men.

#try guys #john mulaney #like it seems so easy to me to just not do that #not to out my self as an original Hamilton fan but where else am I gonna express this thought #like I have learned over and over to not get too attached to a para social relationship #but #I’ve been watching the try guys since they started so this is upsetting and hard to grasp #idk lol

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hearthwxrmth · 9 days

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Depositing Remy at the Athenian cabin was easy enough, although... Yes he may have required directions. Excusing himself just as quickly as they had an answer was also easy enough. Quiet, potentially for the first time since arriving at camp. No self embarrassing remarks offered to diffuse tension, no fool made of himself to keep it light.

He lost the ability to distract himself from his own unsteady footprints by focusing on keeping the son of Nike stable, but it wasn't too far to his own cabin. He bumped his shoulder along the way, unsure of whose cabin received the contact. Door left unlocked as his message had indicated, phone dropped along the way. He'd been trying to make the place feel more like home since he'd first collapsed in one of the rooms, but home was...

It was people to him, more than a building. But he didn't know how... People here felt different. Interconnected in ways he didn't understand, fought with venom in their words, tried to rally and tried to appease and didn't...

He didn't fight back the hiss that escaped his lips as water poured over his back. Usually it was comforting, temperature never too hot, too cold. Much like the fires in every room, comfort was usually at the forefront.

But Gabriel supposed comfort of home fell a little empty when you couldn't quite picture it all of a sudden. He knew his connection to his mother had helped. Been over the moon when he'd managed to reach out to Rio, to draw on his gifts as if they were his own. To offer that aid to another. Hoped that he helped Remy bear the weight of that final round. But then what could he do after that?

He didn't know what to say. Didn't know if that was normal, an expectation of this life, or if it was abnormal or... He just didn't know. So the son of Hestia lost track of time, the vibration of his phone in the hallway a fading buzz drowned out by the blood roaring in his ears.

#;self para #ft; quest 18 #[get down thoughts while they're still fresh led to this so]

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craycraybluejay · 6 months

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You said in tags once that pedophiles and child predators aren't the same, can you explain why? /GEN

For the same reason that people with any kind of attraction to anyone ever aren't all rapists/don't all pursue romantic/sexual feelings that could or definitely would hurt the other person. Because paraphilias are simply the morally neutral state of experiencing attraction and rape/grooming is Not That. Because people *choose* to hurt others, but not what they feel. Because a good majority of child sexual abusers aren't even pathologically/paraphilically attracted to children, they *just want to hurt them because they can.* Because they're dissatisfied with something in life, or want a punching bag, or want to feel powerful, etc etc.

It's not really different conceptually from physical abuse. Do people do it because they have icky feelings about liking blood or violence? No. They do it to feel powerful. Sexual abuse is not about sex but about power. Hope this answers your question. I've answered it a good million times on this blog but eh I'm in a generous mood.

#anon response #pro para #girl imagine if ppl blamed randomass sadists for me getting beat up as a kid #like. no. thats not how that works. if they got off on hurting me in a literal sense they mightve been a little nicer ab it.#honestly its just flat out offensive to equate thoughts and feelings with abuse #regardless of someone's pathology you can always choose to do good and always choose to do evil #what you do with that ability is up to you. but rather than focusing consequences on random 'freaks' maybe focus them on #'normal people' who decide to covertly abuse their kids. or the priest who got tired of being godly and did some fucked shit #it is not the freaks you should fear but those who put on a face of normalcy while treating others like garbage and hurting people #also mostly those that are self aware know how to Be Good so to speak and im saying this broadly ab all 'dangerous' thoughts #ppl who know they can get triggered into violence will usually avoid sais triggers. ppl who spiral out of control during an episode will #have someone watch over them or find some way to offset any possible damage #even for people in whom some sort of harm is an instinctive reaction and not a conscious decision #steps can be should be and are taken to minimize problems and recover from anything that needs it #i trust a big 3 paraphile easier than an unstable person in power with no self awareness #because ive met both and only one has ever seriously hurt me. guess.

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tai-janai · 10 days

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littel... voices,,, hug and makeu p...

ill do the rest of the scene too so part one i guess

#i kept reading thar 'for what' as if para just wanted him to specify #like he had already forgiven him but he just wanted to hear it #yeah smitty you do not want to get involved in that #nobody can blame para for getting so attached to hero. LOOK AT HIM.#SOFTIEST FUCKING GUY TO EVER EXIST #RUNNING OFF INTO DANGER #who would win #man with zero self-preservation #or his angry anxious wife #stp little voices fanart #little voices #the voices #parahero #para #hero #voice of the paranoid #voice of the hero #remaking-machine + tai-janai

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desasters-blog · 6 months

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"bonito es coincidir con alguien que te cuide, que te respete y no tenga miedo de quererte con todo el corazón"

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vilisisms · 2 months

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˚☽˚.⋆ ― open event starter // @exitiumstarters // phase 2 in the middle of the chaos

heat, pain, and the soulless eyes of an oea agent. those were the last things she remembered. the heat, that was the most vivid sensation she remembered. it came from... the fog of hiding so much, she didn't know why she felt the heat only that it was burning her from the very inside out. then the pain, she could see through the fog of her thoughts the cause of the pain and it was the cause of whoever those eyes belonged to.

she tried to get up, to move, to call out, but she felt trapped in her body and with her mind still covered in a fog, she couldn't understand why. it wasn't until she began to regain her hearing that a new memory flashed and broke free of the fog. screaming, the loudest screams she's ever heard in her life and then she realized it had been coming from her. the pain was so bad, and the agent would not stop, she didn't even realize she was screaming.

then it all went quiet, and the pain stopped. all of the pain, everything all at once just stopped and a peace like she's never felt before flooded over her and then it was black and she was gone.

that was until this moment.

she felt dazed and her confusion on what happened and what was happening was taking over as the fog disappeared. then all at once, she felt herself jerk back into her body and her eyes fluttered open. billie. she had been with billie searching rooms for a way out, but then they were caught....

'fuck.' those were her first thoughts as she moved sit up and take in the chaos around her. her throat was dry, and she felt weak but she would worry about that later, all she could think about right now was finding her family, briggs, and ryker. riley didn't know what she would tell them, hell, she had no idea what was even going on or what happened but she could gather from the scenes around her that every worst case scenario that they had thought of, happened.

then it hit her as fast as the pain had, she hadn't been just injured and knocked out. she had died. whatever the agent had done to her, killed her. this was her transition.

#˚☽˚.⋆ ― riley shaw / threads #exitium.event002 #TA DA!!!!#<3 <3 <3 #// turned this from a self para into a starter bc i had a feeling yall would wanna interact #// sooooo here yall go!!!#exitium.starter

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wallpapedits-vvc · 6 months

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Matching wallpapers #170

Like/reblog if you save ✨

First edit by me. Credits of the original photos to their respective owners.

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