daydream-in-color

[daydream-in-color]

I’m mourning the person I could have been if you supported me the way a parent is meant to. I spent so much of my energy just trying to survive that there was nothing left of me to grow.

#writers and poets #poetry #spilled emotions #words #liturature #trauma #broken home #daddy issues

[daydream-in-color]

Our first morning

The first time I woke up next to you I thought, “I must be dreaming” The sun had already risen; bathed your sleeping form in crisp morning light.How lucky I was to be allowed in your orbit like this.I watched your even breaths; head on your shoulder and arm around your waist. I had never been that close to anyone in such a quiet moment. I could even see your heartbeat under the skin of your throat. I really like the freckles I counted there that morning. We hadn’t even had sex yet, but in that moment I felt that I have never been closer to anyone.

#writers and poets #poetry #spilled emotions #words #liturature #poetic #spilled ink #female poets #love and other words #spilled poem #queer love #love of my life

[daydream-in-color]

It’s interesting how my style has changed when I stoped dressing for the male gaze and started dressing for myself. For how I want to look and feel on any particular day. One day you’ll see me looking like I just got out of a fundamentalist young woman’s small group. The next I’ll be wearing a top or skirt that does not leave much to the imagination ;) An another I’ll be dressed so overtly gay that I just might be hate crimed. All three styles I enjoy wearing and make me feel confident and good about myself.

#queer #lesbian #lgbtq #queer style #female gaze

[daydream-in-color]

I feel robbed of a good father.

Longing for something that I have never had.

Missing a version of family that has never existed.

Only having ever seen or felt it from the outside,

as a mere visitor.

I’ve created an alternate universe in my mind,

of what I could have had with my father.

If only he had wanted the same thing

or cared enough to create it.

It’s not fair.

#writers and poets #poetry #spilled emotions #words #liturature #poetic #spilled ink #female poets #love and other words #spilled poem #women writers #daddy issues

[daydream-in-color]

To my dearest sister,

I would tear my very soul from my body; give it to you on a plate of gold. If it meant you would suffer no longer.

The favor of our father tastes like ash on my tongue. The bitterness he shows you like thorns in my heart.

Sister, you are my favorite person and I would trade my blessings for your pain in a hundred life times.

#writers and poets #poetry #spilled emotions #spilled ink #words #liturature #love and other words

[daydream-in-color]

I’ve spent twenty-four years wearing a face crafted by the ridicule of others.

How was I to know that the face I carved for their sake was slowly draining my soul away?

— lifelong masking

#writers and poets #actually autistic #autistic adult #neurodivergent #poetry spilled ink #spilled poem #autistic burnout #autistic feels #liturature #words #poetry #poetic #women writers #spilled emotions #female poets

[daydream-in-color]

“As I began to love myself my relationship with everyone changed.”

— Unknown

[daydream-in-color]

It’s a strange thing to grow up and witness my friends’ healthy relationships with their fathers. I long for something that I have never had. I find myself missing a version of family that has never existed for me in this life. I’ve only ever seen and felt it from the outside, as a mere visitor. I’ve created an alternate universe in my mind of what I could have had with my father. If only he had wanted the same thing or cared enough to create it. I feel robbed.

#writers and poets #spilled emotions #liturature #words #poetic #women writers #spilled ink #poetry #feelings

[daydream-in-color]

The Fate of the Tearling — Erika Johansen

[daydream-in-color]

the feminine urge to turn into a fairy and live in a garden forever.

[daydream-in-color]

Oh to be a woman

To desperately grasp at the falling sand that is your own personhood

To be eternally weighed down with the task of convincing the world that you are a whole person

That you are deserving

That you are human

How is that fair?

#poetry #writers and poets #humanity #feminist #femininity #spilled ink #poetic #love and other words #words #spilled emotions #spilled poem #female poets

[daydream-in-color]

I never really put much thought into what my future home would look like, what tiles I would want in the bathroom, what kind of kitchen sink I’d like, what the yard would have. That is until I started dating my partner.

Now I hold back tears at the thought of picking out furniture together and planting a garden in the back and filling our home with meaningless things that bring us both unbridled joy.

#sapphic #queer love #hopelessly in love #hope for the future #home #writers and poets #joy #love and other words #spilled emotions #liturature #words