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buttermymymy · 2 years

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ok but i believe in zutara supremacy and here’s why: (pretty much) a rant

howdy, fellow air nomads! lu is officially on the scene of avatar: the last airbender and ready to share her possibly extremely controversial opinions with just about everyone.

including this one: zuko and katara? an item. a thing. an iconic pair. superior to maiko. superior to kataang. just superior in general. at least in my head.

here it comes, guys. the reasons why zutara is the otp of them all. even though nobody asked.

reason 1: the canonical relationships kind of suck

episodes: the beach, the boiling rock, and some of the comics

let's start with the first one to make its appearance on screen. maiko. the lesser one out of the two canonical relationships, in my opinion.

let's be honest, guys. zuko has way too much emotional baggage and mai is just too sensitive and impatient. she's always just seem to wave away zuko's kind gestures towards her and acts as if they're nothing. i mean, if you have PRINCE MOTHERFLUCKING ZUKO giving you a seashell just to be nice, even if you don't like it, accept it or least let him down gently.

she also seems to have a bad habit of simply dumping zuko whenever he screws up. it's clear that he's going through a lot of emotions, and instead of trying to help him, she kind of just leaves him in the dust.

granted, zuko is not perfect. he screws up and makes plenty of mistakes. he absolutely needs to learn to control his temper and lose the attitude, but mai doesn't really let him grow from those mistakes. she just says "fuck this guy, onto the next!" she did date another dude in the comics, after all.

also, talk about a couple with zero chemistry. seriously, their connection is about as flat as a pancake. there's just not much there. i mean, we all know she had a crush on zuko, but WHY did she have a crush on zuko? cause he was cute? cause he was smart? cause he was brave? why did they like each other in the first place? those are things you need to show us to convince us to like them.

they also break up so often that it's hard to imagine they could ever be long term. do they ever bother to work through their problems and find a solution? they both let their emotions get the better of them and control the whole situation. and even if they do get back together, do they try to work out their differences? NOPE. they completely forget the whole thing happened, just a thing of the past.

No.

so kids, what did we learn today?

- mai and zuko are far too different. zuko is passionate, and mai just doesn't seem to care about anything or anyone, causing them to clash in a multitude of different ways, as we can see.

- a rock and a tree have a more dynamic relationship than the two of them do.

- i refuse to believe they would be long term even if the series said they were.

and now for kataang.

episodes: the ember island players, day of the black sun, sozin's comet (specifically part 4)

wHOO BOI. don't kill me for this, guys...

but i honestly don't like aang and katara all that much. they felt like that classical couple that you pretty much knew was going to end up together despite hoping for zutara (because it reigns supreme over all other ships) and i would much rather the series flip the stereotype on its head then playing into it like the rest.

i think perhaps the breaking point for me was when aang kissed katara before the black sun invasion (which just proves right away that he doesn't respect her boundaries).

in fact, aang just does everything with the mind of a child. he sees katara as someone who he's entitled to, someone he apparently deserves??? and it doesn't help that katara adds to this by acting as a mother to him instead of a friend or even a lover. even the ember island players addressed this issue! no woman would stay with a man she has to baby like that.

not to mention, during that play, aang kisses her a second time and just kind of acts like a crybaby because they aren't together (red flag much?)

and the expressions katara makes after he kisses her just look more sad and solemn than surprised or happy.

i mean, really, what is katara waiting for? does she REALLY like aang? why is she holding back if they're going to be together?

maybe they'll fix this right up in the next couple episodes?

nope. they smooch and the credits roll.

oh well, i...

didn't like that at all.

honestly, if you want a more through explanation on why maiko and kataang both suck, go ahead and read these two articles on the topic. rachael completely summarized how i feel, tbh. we're good buddies now.

Maiko Sucks

So Does Kataang

but enough about terrible ships. let's get to the good ship! the one that sadly, hasn't ever sailed and is still docked at the harbor.

reason 2: zuko and katara work together better

episodes: the southern raiders, sozin's comet

both katara and zuko have fleshed out character arcs and personalities, so when these personalities click, you see how well the two actually work. i mean, katara, being the caring, kind person she is, offers to heal zuko's scar back in ba sing se. granted, zuko betrayed her, BUT. that was part of his character arc and he grew from that.

i also think this is important for the way their dynamic happened. katara has hardened from that betrayal and calls zuko out on his bullshit. she doesn't take crap from anyone, especially him.

all you have to do is take one look at the battle between zuko and azula, and effectively katara and azula, and you can easily see how well they blend and how great minds think alike. they really do bring out the best in one another. zuko helped katara find closure about her mother (which zuko understood better than aang did, who was all "this is just about revenge") and they both save each other's butts CONSTANTLY. zuko saved katara from getting crushed by rocks, and katara saved zuko from falling to his death. come on, guys.

when zuko was nervous about seeing his uncle, katara encouraged him, saying that he would forgive him if he truly was sorry. mai would've probably said something like "just go in there already. i'm bored and it's almost time for lunch." god 🙄

reason 3: they are just bordering on the love territory

episodes: sozin's comet, the southern raiders

katara did snub zuko at first when he joined the Gaang, but when he mentions the guy who killed katara's mother, katara is ready to spring into action. this is an example of two things: one, zuko clearly pays attention and listens to her, because during her whole rant about him betraying her, she says, "oh i know, you could bring my mother back!"

he could have just tried to impress her by doing all these grand gestures or doing nice things for her, but he's smart enough to know to get to the thing that hits the closest to home.

not just that, but you can see how zuko would sympathize with katara in this way because he lost his mother too. granted, she was still alive, BUT this is still a point they can bond over and understand each other better.

and dID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON KATARA'S FACE WHEN ZUKO JUMPED IN FRONT OF THAT LIGHTNING BOLT FOR HER????

that is a look of pure horror.

not to mention when she healed him she was sobbing her ass off.

what a huge gesture, i mean, that’s just crazy.

and before you jump on my ass and say, “zuko would have jumped in front of that bolt for anyone” or “that was meant to show zuko’s character growth, it wasn’t necessarily romantic” I AGREE WITH YOU.

however, i still think this is a big point. this scene proves that in some capacity, zuko cares for katara a lot. maybe platonically, maybe romantically, but he cares quite a bit. and I think it has to be quite a bit if he willing to take a lightning bolt for her. this could possibly lead to something more than friendship. something that could be stronger than both kataang and maiko (yeah, I said what I said). i just don’t buy the bond between either of them, but zutara? shitballs on a donkey! like the chemistry is unreal!

and not to mention how mai was most likely being used a plot device (which we'll get to) and that's why the show never showed zuko doing something like this for mai. especially with how little he seems to care about her. just something to think about.

reason 4: that mothertrucking hug

episodes: the southern raiders

yes. i'm bringing back a tired old trope. using one scene as complete proof that these two belong together. but guys....

there is more chemistry in this one scene than there was with maiko or kataang in the WHOLE series. god damn! you're breaking my heart here!

reason 5: plot devicing hi

i think mai was being used as a plot device and that's why her and zuko were even a couple in the first place. without her whole relationship with zuko, azula would have never had her whole downfall when mai and ty lee betrayed her. kind of felt like mai and zuko came out of nowhere in the series, didn't they? probably because they were using that to build up to azula's breakdown.

reason 6: the voice actors are backing me up!

and queen mae and king dante were also pissed when katara and zuko didn't become an item like holy shitake mushrooms

don't believe me? here's the thread. the proof is in the pudding.

izzzzzz the conclusion, babe

so basically, a detailed essay as to why zutara is the otp of them all. feel free to RESPECTFULLY disagree and/or dispute my points, i'm open to differing opinions after all.

peace ✌🏽

#avatar #avatar: the last airbender #katara #aang #zuko #mai #kataang #sukka #zutara #atla #zuko x reader #avatar toph #toph beifong #sokka x reader #aang x reader #atla azula #ty lee

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buttermymymy · 2 years

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GRIMM: Chapter 4

Mastering the art of godmothering would be a difficult task for anyone up to the challenge.

But as Moo Moo Groose patiently waited for her instructions outside, watching the scene before her, she was pretty sure that getting a hold of that skill was about as likely as her mother running a marathon.

Mother Goose happens to be centuries old, by the way. Just thought you should know.

Anyways, Godmothering was one of the extracurricular activities that Forever After Academy had to offer. It took place on the track bordering the football field, way outside of the school. Not nearly far enough, though, since the Big Bad Woods, the only thing Moo Moo could see past Everly City, kept a wide margin from the place. Beyond that were mountains with their misty peaks guiding the way for anyone who might want to find their way to the next city through the countryside. The sun was already starting to set, bathing the hidden land of Marchennia in soft pinkish-gold light.

Moo Moo shook her head. Despite how beautiful Everly looked at twilight, she had to focus harder on not falling on her face when the time came to show off her skills.

Skills were something she seemed to lack seriously these days. She was new to this whole Godmother thing. Matter of fact, she was just new to magic in general. She was one of the only students at Forever After without some sort of special ability here. And that was like cancer to everyone else. (Ooh, a child without magic or weapons! SoOooO scary!)

Her mother was the one who convinced her it’d be fun. “Moo Moo, sweetie,” she had said, with her sickly sweet, crinkly voice. “Look at me. I’m getting old. This body won’t be on the move forever after. You’ve got to keep things going for me. Be the after part. Make me proud, okay?”

And that’s how, instead of talking to Fifi Beanstalk or Dorian Gale about how they were going to come in first for Carriage Racing, she was hearing the Fairy Godmother lecture about making something big out of almost nothing - a lecture she liked to call “The Vermin Episode.”

Moo Moo rolled her eyes while she twirled her magician’s wand in her hands. What is this, Friends? She thought, stuffing the wand back into her bun. The One Where Everything Sucks?

“...Mice may seem to only be furry nuisances, but they are truly the MVRs of them all!” FG was explaining, cradling a mouse in her palm.

“MVR?” SamT questioned.

“Most Valuable Rodent,” FG smiled gently, her eyes wrinkling.

The girl next to Moo Moo shivered, her blonde ringlets and gold hoop earrings shivering right along with her. “I hate mice. Why couldn’t we transform butterflies instead?”

Moo Moo bit her bottom lip, but the remark she had been trying to hold back came out anyway. “Oh, come on, Linda. They can’t be that bad. They do have excellent navigational skills,” Moo Moo pointed out.

“Well, you should know, you’re one of them,” Linda hissed back.

“Says the rat,” Moo Moo retorted, pouting in anger. She didn’t know why Linda North acted like someone had taken a dump in her morning potion. Or like someone had stolen her admittedly cool knee-high crimson boots.

Perhaps it was the life of being the head jeerleader that had morphed her into a rat with perky blonde hair and golden hoop earrings. Perhaps the Good Witch of the North wasn’t so good after all (she might even be deceiving us about which geographical direction she comes from).

Whatever it was, it had made Linda North.

Irked by the insult, Linda scowled. “I don’t even know why you signed for this class, Poo Poo. Shouldn’t you be out playing with your ducks or something?” “It’s Moo Moo! And they’re geese, stupid! My mom’s name isn’t Mother Quack!”

“Whatever. You suck.”

Moo Moo frowned and tugged her letterman jacket tighter over her arms. The green and white fabric was the only sign she belonged there. But the lime-ish green of the giant F in the front only served to make her feel sourer.

“You’ll see,” Moo Moo defiantly responded. “I’ll be the greatest godmother this world has ever seen.”

“Yeah, when pigs fly.” Linda North shook her head and pulled out her glassy pink wand.

“I’ll make pigs fly, you hear?” Moo Moo insisted, also pulling out her magician’s wand to stick it to her. “They’ll be the new birds. They’ll be the ones soaring to new heights.”

“...and that is why our first exercise for the day,” FG was saying, “will be the act of changing the common mouse to a beautiful man!”

Moo Moo chewed on her pinky nail. Magic was never one of her main skills, but transformation was the worst. Some things should’ve just been left to the expert fairy godmothers.

“You sure about the whole transforming into men angle, FG? I might be forced to hook up with one of them.”

FG kindly smiled, clearly annoyed, but only slightly. Talia Rose observed all transforming classes as part of her course. Since her mom’s rival had once turned into a dragon and unleashed her bad dragon breath on everything, she was required to observe them so she could recognize all authentic transformations. Part of her Service Learning Powers.

“Talia, I would prefer it if you didn’t seduce any of the men. You have plenty of time to do whatever after extracurricular hours.”

Talia snorted. “Whatever after.”

FG put her hands on her hips. “Sweetie, sit back in your chair or I will formally zip your mouth shut.”

Talia boredly did as she was told, picking at her tattoo: a barrel of thorny black stems, known as Blackbriar, wrapped around her upper arm as if it were a castle and the Blackbriar was its protector.

“Anywhoodles!” FG cheerily continued, placing the mouse she was holding on the ground. “Here we have Mr. Ty, a mouse dad with children. What joy you would bring to those kids if you were to make his dad into a man! Just like how once upon a time I granted a very special person’s wish and brought her joy and beauty.” FG paused, then said, “That was Ella, in case you didn’t know.”

“We know,” Moo Moo said, huffing. She hated when FG constantly reminded people she was from Cinderella’s story. Everyone and their Mother Gooses knew that already.

“Ah yes, well… uh, get started, then! SamT, you’re up first,” FG said, motioning to Mr. Ty.

SamT stepped forward. The mouse twitched its whiskers curiously at the witch.

“Alright, little guy. Let’s see just how powerful dark magic really is,” SamT murmured, as she took her crooked, old birch wand and waved it at the little rodent. “Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron’s trouble. This mouse is living among the shrunk; give this vermin a little more spunk.”

Pointing the wand straight at the target, a violet flash of lightning shot out of SamT’s wand and illuminated the area, causing a bright flash and smoke to fill the track.

Moo Moo covered her face as the clouds settled over the rest of the girls.

When the dust finally cleared, standing before them was what appeared to be a woman.

“Oh my!” FG gasped.

“Oh my, indeed,” SamT echoed.

Everyone else gasped. That was definitely not a man.

Talia’s eyebrows shot up to the sky. Then she shrugged. “I’m a swinger,” she said.

Mr. Ty looked down at his feminine body. “What the hex happened?”

“I believe it’s because you used the word spunk and your wand is so old it interprets that as a feminine word,” FG explained, pulling out her wand. “Next time try junk instead of spunk, dearie. Next up, please.”

SamT twisted to look at her classmates. “Don’t be a witch. Do it the right way, girls.”

Moo Moo swallowed, sweat forming on her neck. You're better than a witch. You’re better than a witch. You’re better than a witch…

The next girls thankfully took SamT’s advice into account. Baby Yaga turned him into a big, strong man… with chicken legs. (“At least he can run fast! Helpful when you’re rescuing a damsel in distress!” she reasoned before she had to fix it as Mr. Ty could only squawk in panic.) Cara the Dark Fairy had actually succeeded in turning Ty into a guy, but he was sound asleep. (“Sorry! It must be in my blood.” she had said. Talia went and tossed cold water on Mr. Ty to wake him.) And last and most certainly least, Kaianna Spejl and somehow turning him from a big burly monster to a small furry animal and back into a man again.

“Isn’t a big burly monster so much cooler though?” Kaianna questioned.

“Yes, Kaia. There is nothing kids love more than a man with hair all over his body,” FG reassured, turning back to the line. “Next up, please!”

By the time the line had reached Moo Moo, the sun had already set and the full moon gave the sky an ominous glow.

Moo Moo leaned a little to her left. Linda North was at the very front of the line and she was just behind her.

She’s going to wow everyone, isn’t she?

Linda sashayed forward to the already dizzy Mr. Ty trying to catch his breath.

“Watch and learn, girls,” she proudly proclaimed.

With a simple flick and point, Mr. Ty was a young man with a crisp haircut and a business suit.

“Greetings, ladies,” he said in a smooth, even tone. “How may I assist you?”

Talia nearly flipped off the side of her chair.

Moo Moo’s blue-green orbs went to the girls who had already had their turn. Everyone was practically drooling at the sight of this new and improved Mr. Ty.

“Wowie,” FG marveled, probably trying to refrain from fawning herself. “Marvelous work, Linda! Their kids will be very pleased!”

Linda was soaking it all in like a sponge, beaming proudly. “All in a day’s work.”

Moo Moo crossed her arms. Of course she did.

By the time Moo Moo came back from Sulk City, FG had already transformed Mr. Ty back into vermin.

“Moo Moo? You’re up next.”

Moo Moo could barely walk. It felt like her legs were made of Jell-O.

I hope I didn’t magic my legs into Jell-O. That would be unfortunate.

But even though she was sure she hadn’t magicked her legs into squishy dessert, she still didn’t feel any less nervous. It was probably the heat. Beau hadn’t been lying about the frying pan thing.

She stood above Mr. Ty and carefully raised her wand at him.

“Good luck,” Linda mocked.

Something about hearing Linda’s voice made Moo Moo clenched her fingers into tight, determined fists.

She’s going to eat her words.

Well, not literally, I don’t want her to choke.

Or maybe I do…

She shook her head as swirls built up around her wand. She’s wrong.

You are special. You are different. You’ll be the best godmother the world has ever seen.

Pigs WILL fly!

Right after that, Moo Moo heard a poof!

The transformation was complete.

Everyone gasped audibly while Talia let out an “Oh my godmother!”

Moo Moo cracked one eye open.

A pretty pink pig with angel wings was in Mr. Ty’s place.

The pig squealed in surprise, rolling in the dirt briefly. Its wings started flapping, and it ballooned straight into the sky, snorting all the way.

“Mr. Ty! Mr. Ty!” FG frantically cast spells at the flying pig, but it kept bobbing around so much that she kept missing. “Nice job, Poo Poo!” Linda cackled like the witch she was.

Moo Moo stared at her shoes. She really was poo-poo at this.

Everyone else was too busy watching Mr. Ty fly to criticize her though. He kept going, and going, and going until he was squealing right over the Big Bad Woods.

In an instant, he plummeted.

Girls screamed, including Talia, who screeched, “He’s dead! The hot business guy is dead!”

But Talia was wrong. For the poor flying pig-mouse wasn’t dead.

How did Moo Moo know?

Howls immediately echoed from the woods. Loud, hungry howls, ones with fury.

Something like…

Moo Moo peered at the silvery-white circle in the starry sky.

Like…

A wolf.

Thunderous charging.

There was more than one.

Only seconds later, Mr. Ty emerged from the woods, running as fast as his little hooves would take him. Behind him was a pack of unmistakable, rabid, sharp-toothed, claw-bearing... wolves.

They rampaged the field. Stampeded the bleachers. Ran right over Talia's observatory chair.

They were unstoppable.

So there was only one thing to do left.

Moo Moo stuffed her wand back into her bun.

Scooped Mr. Ty into her arms.

And ran.

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buttermymymy · 2 years

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GRIMM: Chapter 3

It was a well known fact around Marchennia that dragons were exceptionally good at debate.

You probably might not know this vital piece of information, reader. I suppose you just haven’t gotten around to Marchennia and heard its gossip yet. You really should cross that hidden bridge when you get to it. The more you know, am I right?

But it is also a pretty common fact that unicorns have no idea what debate even means. All they really do is wave their pretty heads and point the wands stuck to their heads at any dragon willing to snap it in half.

That’s how Iris was made.

Yes indeedy doodle. Iris Twinklehorn was a dragon. And a unicorn.

Or both. Or neither. She hadn’t decided yet.

However, she had decided to put her genes to good use. After all, with the reputation dragons had around here, she had to make sure Mirificus saw the benefits of having serpentine blood running through your veins.

And make sure they knew that dragons did not have a tendency to perspire.

Iris could just feel pools of sweat beading up at the crook of her neck. Even constantly adjusting her collar wasn’t enough to keep it down. The topic she was about to debate was very, very controversial. She doubted she could get people to sway their opinions to her side.

But this was the Debate Club. You were supposed to be controversial. You were supposed to share ideas and suggest new opinions. Be open-minded.

Open-minded, huh?

Not Iris’ thing.

Making people agree with her was more up her alley.

At the moment, Iris was tapping the edge of her clipboard, trying to stop being so nervous. She was Iris Twinklehorn. Leader of the Debate Club and wielder of confidence.

At least, she was supposed to be.

The chatter of the rest of the members weren’t helping either. There were students scraping their cufflinks on their wood of the floating desks, whooshing sounds of magic forming some new object to the user’s liking, that incessant tinking sound.

Oh wait. That was her.

Iris sighed as she stepped to the floating podium and grabbed the handlebars on either side of it to get herself up to it. This really wasn’t like her. Doubt wasn’t supposed to be a part of her vocabulary.

So to help herself expel the word from her language, she repeated her oh-so reliable mantra.

I am Iris Twinklehorn. I am right. I am Iris Twinklehorn. I am correct. I am Iris Twinklehorn, above all else.

It was a weird mantra, for sure. But it worked. Newfound boldness collected in droves in her body, and she took the mic in her hands.

“Excuse me, fellow members?” She started, and the room quickly quieted down.

“Thank you for your respect. Today our debate topic is-”

“Ooh! Christmas! Let’s talk about Christmas!”

Iris could already feel her eyelids drooping. “Christmas is two months away, Quiddin.”

“So what? Everyone in the regular world always celebrates Christmas in November anyway. We’re just following the norm.”

Talia Rose twisted to him. “You got any New Year’s resolutions? I wanna kiss someone. Gotta make sure I kiss at least five every year.”

Iris grumbled. Why the ungodly annoying Quiddin Maredon and the raging man-eater Talia Rose had decided to join the Debate Club was totally beyond her. He was loud, goofy, and not as funny as he’d like to perceive himself. She was also loud (in more ways than one), outspoken, and always ravenous (also in more ways than one).

Quiddin snorted. “I’m just quiddin, Iris! Please, go on.”

“I’m not,” Talia said, turning to face her.

Iris blew out a breath. “As I was saying, today, our debate topic is dragons. What was your first impression of a dragon?”

One student in a pretty beret and feather boa raised her hand.

“Madison?”

“They smell as bad as a march hare.”

“Hey!” another student called from the back. “I shower.”

“Once a year?” Madison Hatter retorted. “What do march hares even smell like?” Catalina Cheshire asked, tail swishing.

“Like wet dog and ripped jeans,” Madison replied.

“Alright, alright. Back to the smelly dragons,” Iris insisted. “What else do you think of them?”

“You know, they think they’re so great with their big wings and raging fire and everything,” Willow Maize, an earthly nature spirit, spoke up. “Don’t they know they’re just adding to the global warming crisis?”

“Yeah. Everly is already the equivalent of a frying pan in the summer,” Beau Monet added. “Not good when you’re sprouting beast fur.”

“Yeah, they’re just way too hot!” Quiddin cut in.

Iris furrowed her brows. “Ah yes. Wet dog. Global warming. Beast fur. Got it. Perfectly legitimate concerns. Anything else?”

“Why do they have to show off their gliders? I want their wings,” Cara moaned, her own dark fairy wings fluttering. “Would make it so much easier to get around.”

“Any chance we can tame them?” Revere Pendragon questioned. “I have a feeling dragons will come in handy when my knights are ripping people’s throats out.”

“Or,” Iris said, twirling her pen, “You could not rip people’s throats out?”

Revere narrowed her eyes. “What other option is there?” she asked.

“Compromises are always an option! We can find a common ground between dragons and us tiny folk, you know? You guys have been bad-mouthing dragons non-stop, but what about their positives? What is the bright side? What are the good things you can say about those massive wastes of serpentine nature?”

It was so quiet you could hear a Tim Thumb.

Dylan Fischer raised a hand.

“Yes, Dylan?”

“I like their scales.”

Iris raised an eyebrow at him.

“What? Mermaids and dragons have that in common. And you’re the one who said we should find common ground,” Dylan reasoned.

Fortunately for Tim Thumb, now that everyone could hear him, he finally managed to stand onto his tiny desk and say, “Sorry, Iris, but I’ll have to agree with the majority. Dragons are so huge and majestic. They make me feel even smaller than I already am!”

“In more ways than one,” Quiddin joked, under his breath.

“Says the guy who’s one of Saint Nick’s whipping elves!” Tim retorted.

Iris grimaced and shot a blue lightning bolt at Quiddin’s desk.

He yelped as it struck the wood, leaving a coal black ring and ominous gray smoke behind.

“Next time I’ll make sure you’re the conductor instead of the table,” Iris warned, writing down Dylan’s compliment on her paper.

“But Iris! I was just quiddin!” he protested.

Iris ignored him. “Anything else?”

“They’re better than airplanes. They get around much faster. That’s important when your broom stops working or wants to take the day off,” Sally Ally Mally Twally, or SamT (the T is not silent) said.

“You rode a dragon?!” Cara screeched, along with almost everyone else.

“I’ve never ridden a dragon,” Talia murmured. “What was it like?”

“It was fast. Proficient. A bit rough,” SamT bluntly answered.

“Sweet,” Talia Rose nodded in understanding, with a boyish grin on her face. “Maybe I should ride a dragon.”

“That’s something I needed to hear. Just great.” Iris wrote down Proficient. “What else?”

It seemed like no one else had anything else to add, from the silence that followed. But Iris did.

“No one? Well, why don’t I help you guys out?” she said, putting down the pen and folding her hands. “Dragons are really, really good at debate. Did you know that?”

“Do dragons even speak?” Dylan questioned.

“They do! And they shouldn’t be allowed to! One insulted my hair!” Willow huffed, picking at her pine green ponytail.

Something about the way everyone was speaking about dragons fired something up in Iris. So much so that she decided to do something she probably shouldn’t.

“Speaking of hair, have any of you wondered why my hair is two-toned?” Iris asked. Nobody had to look hard to see the two tones of Iris’ hair. It was split right down the middle, all the way from the bangs to the very end. To the left, it was red, and to the right, it was blue.

“Oh, that. I always just thought purple never worked out for you,” Madison shrugged.

“Purple would look GREAT on-” Iris stopped herself before her unprofessionalism showed. Just tell them! They like you! They respect you! And you’re always right!

“Okay. Listen up, everyone. The reason why I am talking about dragons in the first place is because-”

A magical whooshing sound filled the room and the voice of the one and only Fairy Godmother came after it.

“Students of Mirificus, at this time, please rotate to your next extracurricular activity.”

Feet landed on the floor as students gathered their belongings and jumped from the floating desks to the ground.

“What a debate!” Quiddin cheered. “Gotta make sure Mrs. Claus hears about this one.”

“Yeah, let her hear how mean you are and how you should end up on the naughty list!” Tim Thumb cut in, resting on SamT’s shoulder.

“If there’s anyone who should end up on the naughty list, it’s Talia the Cowgirl over there, wanting to ride a dragon,” Quiddin motioned with his thumb.

“Hey!” Talia put her hands on her hips, clearly offended.

“Just quiddin!” he exclaimed and laughed, causing everyone to catch the giggles too.

Meanwhile, Iris hadn’t moved from her spot on the podium.

She looked down at her pros and cons list.

Cons: They stink. They’re too hot. Their wings are too big.

Pros: Their scales are pretty and they can move fast.

Iris looked closer at the cons.

They’re too hot.

Iris let out a little chuckle. Laughing at puns wasn’t a norm for her. But perhaps Quiddin had a sense of humor after all.

#fairy tales #fairy tale retelling #grimm #disney #magic #dragon #unicorn #christmas #guns #scythe #lightning #original story #story #things #are #changing #people #it #all #starts #here

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buttermymymy · 2 years

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GRIMM: Chapter 2

Reaper Psyche wanted nothing more but to bury himself in his covers and never see the world beyond the sheets.

It was futile, though. He knew sooner or later he’d have to face the day. Employee fairies were going to do their room check in fifteen minutes.

Hmm…

He was gonna have to go with later.

Reaper was suddenly grateful no one wanted to room with him. He might have had to deal with some perky blonde dude jumping on his bed and waking him up when he didn’t want to. Get up.

Though he couldn’t blame everyone for being scared. He had told his desk partner in Alchemistry that he’d die in three days.

It was believable, him being the son of the Grim Reaper and all.

Yes, Reaper would admit it was a little much. But if you had been called a walking grave for the four hundredth billionth time, you would pretend people were cursed to die too! I know you would. I see that malicious look in your eye. You’re practically made of evil.

Reaper’s desk partner echoed the same words to him that day, and he was sent straight to his room for cursing a student. Reaper had definitely felt it was too extreme of a punishment. Curses on students could be easily swayed. At worst, they’d end up sleeping for a couple hundred years.

And the truth was, Reaper couldn’t actually curse anyone to die. Everyone just thought he could. Some dipstick had started it and the rumor spread like wildfire. Debunking these rumors, though, was like trying to explain trigonometry to a vacuum cleaner.

Whatever. At least he could be alone with himself.

Yup. Himself.

Good old quality time with himself.

Reaper shifted onto his back.

Maybe he should’ve invited his thoughts to his party.

Reaper peeled down the covers blanketing his face and eyed the almost bare shelf stuck to the wall.

Or maybe a good book.

Books were the only comfort Reaper had. Why a good majority of people preferred jabbing a sword into a dummy over getting lost in another world of characters and stories was beyond him. Slicing things with his blackened bronze scythe got old really fast. But with books? There was no limit to how many new worlds he could explore. How many new characters he could get invested in. How many new stories he could spy on and see how it all ended - whether it’d be a tragic or uplifting note.

With the magic of books, who needed wands?

Reaper snorted and went back under. It was a good thing he disliked most of his peers anyway.

None of them really liked him either, so it hadn’t been hard. The only one who had ever acknowledged his existence in a positive way was a girl he couldn’t even remember the name of. But he did remember her hair. It was the color of cinnamon and super curly, packed in two buns and flopping all over her face. He also remembered that she stuck a moderately sized magician’s wand in her hair. No, seriously, she had just stuffed her magic wand (probably given to her by the Fairy Godmother herself) into the right puff on her head and it just hung there like an out-of-place barrette.

That had been in Castle Economics. The two were sitting next to each other at that time. Reaper was trying to focus on organizing his sheet music (since he seriously doubted he would have a castle to economic in the future) when she leaned over and said, “You’re that scythe guy, right?”

“Scythe guy. Flattering,” he had muttered back, not even looking up. It was a miracle she could even lean over, considering all the desks in the classroom (and pretty much all the classrooms) floated due to the abundance of angel dust left by the worker fairies. She should have flipped right over.

“I don’t know your name, dude. I gotta work with what I’ve got.”

“Which clearly isn’t much.”

“Yeah, it really isn’t. You know, you’re one of those mysterious type dudes.”

“I am?”

“Mhmm. But you know what I think?”

“No, I don’t know what you think.”

“Let me tell you what I think. I think there’s more to you than that cool, edgy exterior. I think you’re secretly lonely and looking for some love in your life. I’ve watched enough rom-coms to know what I’m talking about.”

Reaper was about to roll his eyes and continue working on his sheet music for Rusic, but he found himself slowing down. Why was he suddenly feeling more sullen than before? Did he want some love in his life?

Reaper shook his head. Forget it. She’s just saying things because she wants to be right.

“You’ve dissected me like a frog,” he deadpanned.

“I told you, I’m an expert!” she whispered, folding her arms in playful victory. “Wait. That was sarcasm, wasn’t it?”

“And now you’re dissecting the English language. You’re on a roll,” Reaper replied.

And that was that. Occasionally the girl with the puffs would start a conversation with him again, and he’d entertain her for the moment, but otherwise, he was pretty much a wanted man.

It seemed like the people who hated him the most, though, were those obnoxious sons of Cinderella and Snow White. For the majority of the year, those two had always referred to him as “Death Breath.” Because apparently his breath was less than pleasant? Even though he brushed AND used mouthwash. He flossed often too! I mean, what more could those two want?

Similar to that poufy haired-girl, he didn’t know the name of Cinderella’s son either. Voices around the school had identified Snow White’s descendant as Yukio, but for the other guy? He was simply known as Godzilla. Everyone, even the staff (who were almost entirely composed of villains, btwubs) reluctantly referred to him as such. Reaper could only assume the guy paid off someone at the head of the school (perhaps the Fairy Godmother) to get everyone to call him that stupid nickname. Him and his stupid boatloads of money, him and his stupid fancy house in the city, him and his stupid famous mother and father…

Reaper grimaced and gripped the covers tighter. Being the son of Death himself, no one had ever thrown roses at him and no girls had ever thrown themselves at him. They were too afraid he would curse them or kill them or decapitate them with one swish of his scythe. And since whoever his mother was couldn’t be bothered to stick around, he had to live in this school until he reached his senior year and was finally old enough to go out on his own.

It gave Reaper relief to know he was just a year away from that future. Old enough to drive. Old enough to fly a helicopter. Almost old enough to vote. He was practically a man now.

But until then, he just needed five more minutes.

“Reeaaaaapeeeerrrrr!”

Which was something he didn’t have at the moment.

Reaper groaned. All he wanted was his time back. “Give me a few more minutes, Wishbird,” he replied groggily, turning to face the window.

“Reaper, you don’t have a few more minutes! Class is about to start!” The perky worker fairy squealed into his doorknob.

“And?”

“Reapes, come out here now! Or I’ll drag you out myself!”

“Okay, okay,” he relented, throwing the sheets off his legs in annoyance. “And stop calling me Reapes!”

#fairy tales #fairy tale retelling #grimm #disney #magic #dragon #unicorn #gun #scythe #lightning #cinderella #original story #story #things #random #k #we #are #done #grim reaper

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buttermymymy · 2 years

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GRIMM: Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in a future not that far away...

The night was dangerous. The winds were howling. The crooks were lurking.

Crooks lurked everywhere, really. Haunting the alleyways of Everly City, skulking around the buildings, blending in with the shadows. They came in different shapes and sizes all around - some of them short, some of them tall, some of them stout, some of them slender…

Even though they were as different as the night was from the day, they all had one thing in common.

They weren’t always where they were supposed to be.

Luckily for Godzilla, they weren’t the only ones refusing not to stay in their place.

With the cover of night on his back and dashing around the streets on two golden feet, Godzilla cocked his loaded pistol and continued to head down the sidewalk, blending in as best as he could.

Godzilla hadn’t always been Godzilla. He was someone else before.

But the streets of Everly City were littered with mercenaries, tricky trolls, scheming goblins, and wishy-washy fairies. And nobody knew it. Cause all the freaks came out at night.

And at day too. But let’s focus on the night.

Because at night, the city of Everly showed the face that was hiding behind the mask. At night, the twinkly gold dust facade of it faded and began to show off every ugly color that truth had to offer.

Was it really too much to ask, that Mayor Snow White at least pretended to care about her citizens? Was it really too much to ask, that some of the city’s money went to law enforcement and some type of security and protection instead of her parties?

Was it really too much to ask, that someone would do something to improve the situation?

That was a rhetorical question. You know exactly what the answer is.

He picked up speed, leaping over fences and swinging past buildings. Skipping past Breadcrumbs Bakery and dodging the Fountain of Youth. There were a lot of things to love about his job (that he involuntarily volunteered for). The rush of adrenaline going through his body, the excitement of holding a criminal at gunpoint, the satisfaction of bringing them to justice. What was not to enjoy?

Oh yeah, the fact that he had to sneak around while doing it.

Sucked, really.

Oh well. At least he could do what he did best.

Breaking the rules.

After the final rush through the roads, he finally spotted his last quest for the night: A middle aged man hidden in the corners of Everly’s alleyways, with a green cap to cover his aging ginger hair and a group of hairy men to cover his back. A sling of arrows rested on his shoulder, and high above him was a distinctly familiar golden pipe.

And below him, a littler man in bright, multi-colored clothing that made him look like a modern court jester, hopping up and down, unsuccessfully attempting to get it back.

“Give it back, Robin! I need my pipe! I’m called a pipe-r for a reason!” he said, flailing around.

“What pipe?” Robin chuckled. “My little dude, this is a spray.”

“Whatever it is, I need it!” he insisted.

“Yeah, I know that,” Robin said, twirling the pipe in his fingers. “I just need your money more.”

Godzilla, just around the corner, grimaced. Robin Hood and his band of hustlers used to be about stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. But here, in the slightly densely populated city of Everly, it was every Merry man for himself.

“So what’s it like being our local exterminator?” Robin taunted. “Having to drive away rats all the time?”

“Rats all the time!” Little John repeated.

“Has to be the worst job in the world.”

“Worst job in the world!”

“John, stop repeating my last words.”

“Repeating my last words!” John said, then smiled.

“I’d prefer if Little John did that all the time. At least he has a sense of humor,” Will Scarlet spoke up.

“Hey, keep your focus on the loser!” Much cut in.

Arthur a Bland, wearing a big, fluffy, raw animal fur, turned to Much and said, “So we should keep our focus on you.”

“You all are idiots,” Will Scarlet muttered.

Now the Pied Piper just looked confused and slightly disturbed.

Godzilla rolled his eyes. Couldn’t argue with Will’s logic. What rhymes with merry and means incompetent? Airy? Weary? Flairy (isn’t a word)?

“Don’t mind them, Pipes. Focus on me, mkay?” Robin said, twirling around him. “I have a deal. The deal of a lifetime, actually. It’s quite simple.”

He crouched down to face the Pied Piper at his height. “I’ll trade you this spray… for the money you’re hiding in your pockets.”

Pied gulped. The twenty dollars stuffed in his jacket were the only thing he had to his name.

“It’s either that or this spray is staying with me,” Robin added. “The clock is ticking, Pied. Waiting for your decision. You can’t take all night.” Pied could feel irritation running through his veins. His little hands curled into fists, and he crossed his arms in defiance. “What’s the matter, Robin? Can’t pay your rent this month?”

“Ooooooh!” The rest of the Merry Men chorused.

Godzilla tried to hold a laugh in, but failed. A snort came out and he held his nose in surprise.

In a flash, Robin tossed the pipe to John and was out of the alleyway, aiming his bow and arrow. “Who’s there?”

Without any hesitation or reservation (or information or processation- that’s not a word) Godzilla finally stepped out of the shadows, his pistol out of view.

“Alright, you caught me, Robert,” Godzilla said, holding his hands up in mock defeat.

“Your hair is a dead giveaway, mop-head,” Robin Hood said, lowering his bow.

Godzilla sighed. Unlike Rapunzel, he shouldn’t have let down his hair that evening. It ended up letting him down.

“Step in with the Pied Piper,” Robin Hood motioned to him, now being clutched by Little John.

“I’ll admit, Robert, you have really bent your moral scale in the last few years,” Godzilla taunted.

Robin whirled, pointing his arrows straight at Godzilla’s nose. “Robin. Not Robert.”

“I’ve never heard of a Robert Hood,” Much murmured.

Arthur whacked the back of his head. “It’s an insult, dunghead.”

“Dunghead,” Little John nodded.

“I’m surrounded by dungheads!” Will Scarlet exclaimed.

“So you agree that you have?” Godzilla questioned.

“Hey, I have no regrets,” Robin shrugged. “Got the girl, the sheriff is teaching Your Moral Compass at that crap academy school. I have everything I want.”

“Do you, though?” Godzilla said, stepping a bit closer to the Scary Men. “You are here messing with the Pied Exterminator, after all. Do you really have everything that you desire?”

“Um, actually, I’m a Piper…” The Pied Piper quickly spoke up.

“Oh please, you killed the rats in my mom’s house for five bucks after she finished filming her movie. You’re an exterminator. A cheap one, at that,” Godzilla corrected. “Besides, I’m going to exterminate the sneakiest rat around. Don’t interrupt my monologue.”

Robin scowled, his grip tightened on the nocking point. “And what’s it to you? You know nothing about me, Rapunzel Wannabe.”

Godzilla, hearing the words ‘Rapunzel Wannabe,” immediately lost his playful, composed act. “Rapunzel? I am not a Rapunzel Wannabe! Her hair smells like unwashed gym socks. I coiff, I comb, I cut-”

The four men, including the Pied Piper, just looked at him like he was crazy during his rant.

“-Match the drapes!” Godzilla continued. “I bet you’ve never gone to a hair salon in your life! Ya outlaw!”

Godzilla then placed a palm over his mouth. Curse his motor-mouth.

Robin Hood’s eyebrows furrowed and he pulled the arrow back. “Oh, you’re going to regret that, little boy.”

“Little? I’m taller than you,” Godzilla bragged.

“You’re not taller than Little John, though,” Robin motioned to the big guy behind him, still holding the spray.

Godzilla turned. Yup. Little John had about a foot and an inch on his six feet. He kind of reminded him of Shaquille O’Neal. Except maybe dumber.

“You should play basketball, Johnny boy,” Godzilla said, looking up at him. “I’m sure with your height you could just place the ball through the hoop.”

Little John cocked his head curiously.

“Do you mean that sport where giant men fling balls at even bigger stands with nets?” Will Scarlet questioned.

“You uneducated dolt,” Godzilla remarked. “It’s the sport where giant men run down a grassy field carrying an oval the color of shit. Which your face reminds me of.”

Will Scarlet turned as red as his last name.

“The Rapunzel Wannabe speaks about the world of athletics?” Arthur a Bland waved his hand.

“Bud, you’re the wannabe here,” Godzilla responded. “Cruella De Vil called. She wants her coat back.”

Arthur gasped.

“Ha! That’s for all the stuff you throw at me!” Much laughed.

“Oh hey there, Much! Hit puberty yet?” Godzilla asked.

“Okay, that’s it. You’re going down.” Much declared.

He took out a shiny dagger and slashed at Godzilla.

Arthur took out a knife.

Robin let his arrow fly.

Will Scarlet stabbed at Godzilla with his sword.

Godzilla quickly dodged Much’s surge forward, ducked under Arthur’s knife, threw his head back, watching Robin’s arrow zoom right over his nose, and sidestepped Will Scarlet’s sword, swinging behind him.

“Nice, very nice,” Godzilla teased again, dusting off his sweater. Thank God for Faeretail Academy training, otherwise he would have been mincemeat for sure.

“Oh man,” Pied Piper said, sitting down at the end of the alleyway. “Wish I had some popcorn. Stuff’s about to get real.”

Little John, entranced by Godzilla, sat down beside him.

Seeing his chance, Robin Hood snatched the spray from Little John and waved in Godzilla’s face. “Too bad Fried Piper is never getting this back,” Robin Hood said.

“You’re way out of line, Robert,” Godzilla said. “I’m gonna have to put you in your place.”

And with that, Godzilla launched into action.

“This is for the uneducated jab!” Will Scarlet swung his sword at Godzilla’s hand.

Pulling out his pistol, Godzilla stuck it out and Will’s sword hit the gun with a TING! sound ricocheting off the buildings on either side of them.

With a quick arm twist and kick, Will Scarlet was disarmed.

Flinging back, Will only had a split second to recover before Godzilla pistol-whipped him to the ground.

Next, he swung and shot Arthur in the arm holding his dagger.

Arthur cried in pain, falling to the ground. Blood was already starting to seep through the wound.

Godzilla playfully turned and flicked Much’s forehead.

He fainted from the sight of blood.

“Woah,” Pied Piper breathed. Little John’s jaw dropped to the floor.

Godzilla pointed his pistol at Robin Hood. “It’s arrows vs guns. I think we all know who's gonna come out alive.”

Robin’s hands shook. “I’m not going to put my arrows down, punk.”

“Well, I’m not going to put my gun down, outlaw.”

Robin threw down his arrows and charged.

Godzilla grabbed his arm, twisted it back, and threw him backwards.

“Good luck shooting arrows with that,” Godzilla remarked.

He went up to Robin Hood, groaning on the ground, and plucked the spray from his hands.

“Here. Go kill a Jaq or something,” Godzilla said, tossing it to the Pied Piper. He sidestepped the two and headed off into the night. “Have a good evening!”

Little John and Pied Piper watched him in shock before Little John uttered the words:

“I could so go for a large popcorn right now.”

It was at dusk when Godzilla finally made it back to his not-so-humble abode. The opposite of humble, really. The place was a high rise condo overlooking the city square to the east.

Stuffing his pistols away in his enchanted stock-it pocket, he tossed his jacket onto the nearest chair and plopped himself into the second nearest chair.

Several seconds of silence passed, proving that no one was home. Empty as usual. Godzilla had been counting on this, but…

But, he thought, scratching at his crown, is that really a good thing? Even when she is home, she wants to use my nickname. Quite frankly, if Godzilla had to hear his name one more time, he could guarantee barrels of vomit for any weirdo who wanted something like that.

The only guy who gave him the pleasure of hearing the pleasured alias of Godzilla was his father. It had started out as a whole mistake on his part. As a young boy, Godzilla was an uber fan of monster movies. He admired how they didn’t care who or what was watching and completely crushed anyone unfortunate to stand up to them. Among the ranks of King Kong and The Yeti was that dinosaur-like kaiju with the spikes on his back and the fury in his eyes.

He wanted to be just like that guy.

So he acted like he was. “Daaaad, my name is Godzilla!” Eleven-year-old him had said. The crap drawings he made of the monsters as a child were still buried somewhere in his closet. He even once owned a dinosaur onesie, with an angry face and floppy sharp teeth.

He was too big to fit into it now.

But he wasn’t going to let it go. Neither was his mom, apparently. She scolded him for still keeping all of these “childish, trivial” things (sounded like something an aging old wizard would say) and told him he needed to forget the monsters and start focusing on maiming people with swords.

Godzilla snorted. Just because some old geezer gave her glass hazards for feet and an orange squash for a ride didn’t mean he had to use swords all of a sudden.

Godzilla hated swords. He had always been too reckless and clumsy to wield one properly (according to the Sheriff Of Nottingham, his Swordplay and Target Practice teacher) and he could do without the weight. Who wanted to strap a fifty pound claymore to their back and walk around with it as if it were nothing? Not him. He’d rather not be a hunchback by the age of eighteen.

He much preferred the fast-paced action of a gun. Those were quick, efficient, and only required the use of a trigger to activate its power. Plus, those fit much more nicely in the enchanted stock-it pocket that his school gave him.

The one thing they didn’t fit into, though, was his mother’s lifestyle. Princes were supposed to be swinging swords and doing diplomatic stuff. Not shooting guns and bringing Merry men to their knees. He was a pretender, though. Pretenders have their way around rules. Especially rules made by their mothers.

Godzilla sighed and reluctantly stood up, deciding to turn his brain off for the night. Things were getting too deep for him. He needed to sleep it off.

Before he could cross the kitchen’s countertop and headed for the hallway to his room, he paused. A radio was sitting comfortably on the marble surface.

Or maybe, he thought, a smirk forming on his face as he reached out to twist the knob, I should dance it off.

#fairy tales #fairy tale retelling #grimm #disney #magic #dragon #unicorn #gun #scythe #lightning #robin hood #cinderella #snow white #original story #story #love #joy #there #we #go #that #is #all

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