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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 1 year

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The Pressure To Be Brave

"You Are So Brave!" How often have we heard this said to us? Most times, people truly mean well when they say this. They are doing their best to be encouraging from their perspective of things. However, for many of us who are surviving cancer daily, those four words are filled with so much pressure and expectation.

When people see us maintaining our lives, managing families, enduring all the craziness that comes with living with this disease, they see bravery! Well, there is truth to that. But the real truth is we are just giving our all to live every day and live our best! It takes a lot of work just to maintain our "normal" lives.

Am I a superhero?

Indeed, we are strong and courageous. We fight uncommon battles for our lives absolutely every day. However, knowing that people can see you as this 'cancer superhero' and being given this subconscious permission to be brave, #BeatCancer, #KickCancersButt, #FightLikeAGirl, and all the other awesome hashtags can be overwhelming!

We didn't choose this fight

We definitely appreciate the love and encouragement! But the reality is that some days we are just SICK! There is nothing we can do about it and to be honest, we don't even have the energy to do anything. We get weak. Not tired but fatigued; downright exhausted! We have mood swings. We battle depression and sometimes it actually fights back...and wins! LOL!!!!

We deal with feeling isolated and alone. We are oftentimes in pain. We are in agony, and it doesn't always go away. Some of us live in pain. We lose weight and we gain weight! We lose our hair, our precious hair! Until you have experienced this, you just have no idea what this does to someone. We think about our mortality more times than the average person does.

Tell me it's going to be okay!

So, it's not that we don't want to be told we are brave. Here is the thing, we know living with cancer requires a special measure of bravery. We know we are brave. But it would mean so much more if we heard, "It's going to be okay", "it's ok to feel how you are feeling", or "no matter how you feel today, I will be here to help and support you!"

Our loved ones believe they keep us strong by coaching us through this and pushing us. If they just speak positively and keep us thinking about how we "should" think then we will feel and live how we are supposed to. Please remember we are human beings with real feelings, who happen to be surviving cancer daily. Just let us be that that's how we are Brave!

Leya R. Elijah

This Is What a Fighter Looks Like

CEO/Founder

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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It’s so important to remember that Love Heals! If I am Love then I am a Healer! 🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️🙌🏾

I am Love

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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Men especially black men are in great need of healing too!! My sisters, I’m sure we can agree that there is nothing sexier than experiencing the strength of a man.. but once you witness it, I must tell you, the sexiest and most beautiful thing is experiencing the healing of a broken man… THEN you will feel the real strength of a man…YOUR man! Nothing like it!!

Men are in a place of surrender. They are willing to do something different than they have traditionally. Men want to break free from the box that men have been put in. They want to redefine what it means to be a manly.

There are facets of a man that doesn’t get expressed because of what society dictates a man is supposed to be. It negates much of who he truly is.

He is emotional sometimes, insecure sometimes and fearful sometimes. However, he can never express that based on society’s definition of a man.

All that he is dealing with on the insides get bottled up. Pushed down. Unexpressed.

He needs to express these negative thoughts but he can’t. And that expression needs be heard and seen. Or it will show up in other ways that are not so positive.

Unless there’s a safe space for a man to be vulnerable, he will hold it all inside and suffer in silence.

Men suffer in silence, holding on to pain because safe spaces are rare or nonexistent for men to share without judgment.

That’s why we were adamant about bringing the work of @manhealthyselfprogram into the @qawellnessinstitute.

Over the course of the last few years it has truly become a safe space for the men in our community. MHT is unique community where men share authentically freely what’s going on inside without the fear of how he’ll be perceived.

If you or someone you know is in need of a space to evolve and grow in this way, register for the

12-Week online holistic rites of passage training:

Man HealThySelf 🤲🏽🌿 Only a few spots left 💯

https://manhealthyself.queenafua.com/courses/man-heal-thyself

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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Leave her alone , she's healing

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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Source: Pinterest

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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August is #nationalwellnessmonth and one of the most important keys to our wellness is Happiness! This is also #nationalhappinesshappensmonth 😊😊 Your happiness, your joy and peace are emotions and feelings that you INTENTIONALLY Choose! No matter what’s going on in your life. And the best part is that you get to choose to make that choose what happens in your life and how your life blesses others! I’m reminded of the children’s cartoon, “Winnie the Pooh.” Winnie had this light and joy inside of him that affected everyone and everywhere he went! Nothing could change that because he chose that happiness and that outlook on life. However there was the donkey Eeyore! Omg he just was the dark cloud in everyone’s day!! He was set in how he was and how he saw life and people. As you go through your day, your week, your month and life… evaluate what you have chosen for yourself! What is your intention emotionally and mentally? What do you choose? How do you want your life to be and what do you want to receive from this life? Whatever you want is inside of you to create! Now let’s Make It Happen!!!

~Leya~

#happiness #happinesshappensmonth #smile #beinspired #behappy #justlive #joy #be in the moment #beintentional #choosejoy #thisiswhatafighterlookslike #survivor stories #nationalhappinesshappensmonth #nationalwellnessmonth #wellness #justsmile #coping #cancer fighter

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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There is nothing like being diagnosed with cancer to find out that all insurance is definitely NOT created equal!! LOL!! I swear the first 2 years, I went through so much! As soon as I would feel I got it all figured out, here comes the next prescription or procedure to prove I didn’t!! The bottom line is cancer is not just hard on the body, it’s hard on the wallet… perhaps even harder at times! Just the frustration of getting what you need covered and paid for takes a harder toll on you than the disease itself. I must admit I have to decide what to get and what to get later and even worse… do I get treatments/meds or do I eat or pay bills? NOBODY should be in that position but it happens… I hope some of what I learned helps loves!

Leya

#cancer fighter #thisiswhatafighterlookslike #fightlikeagirl #cancersupport #ovarian cancer #fight cancer #fighting cancer #fighter #insurance #health insurance #insurance tips #medical insurance #beat cancer #leukemia #breast cancer #pancreatic cancer #chroniclymphomcyticleukemia #leukemia and lymphoma society

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 2 years

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Today is World Multiple Sclerosis Day!! I’m thankful that I am a #mswarrior!! I was diagnosed 4 years ago. I am standing with all the incredible warriors who courageously fight this auto-immune disease and it’s often debilitating challenges. Never forgetting the family and caregivers who give their unconditional love, support and assistance. Sending life, light and love from my heart to yours! You are not fighting alone! We got this!!

#thisiswhatafighterlookslike #fightlikeagirl #survivor #msawareness #worldmultiplesclerosisday #multiplesclerosisawareness #multiple sclerosis #msfighter

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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#what cancer cant do #cancer #cancer fighter #fighter #fightingcancer #fightcancer #beatcancer #ihatecancer #stupidcancer #fcancer

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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This disease WILL knock you down... but never let it keep you down. On our journey we are going to take some very hard hits. But it's how well we can face them, take them, get back up and keep fighting that helps us SURVIVE

#survivor #thisiswhatafighterlookslike #cancer fighter #fightlikeagirl #fighter #fightingcancer #beat cancer #i will survive #survivingcancer #motivation #play this #nowplaying #trending now #share

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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For all my friends courageously Fighting! This song means so much to me... I first heard it a few months after my second cancer diagnosis..when the pain was getting worse and I was getting weaker and being told with too many appointments... "We don't know"...."We aren't sure"... "This doesn't look good, BUT..." I was just told after having RADICAL HYSTERECTOMY that was supposed to at least drastically if not totally remove the ovarian cancer... it Metastesized... to other organs! And that "basic back pain" was not so basic... LEUKEMIA... my L4 & L5 were degenerating (don't even ask now!) , my hips (particularly my right and right leg were affected (thankfully not the bone marrow) For months i was in and out the hospital and doctors offices... Did I trust and believe God for my HEALING? There is no other way to live, be, think, TRUST.... But did I need to increase my FAITH? Yes... I had ovarian previously... this was recurrence. BUT a second diagnosis... ANOTHER cancer....BLOOD Cancer.... My body was going through so much. I wasn't however prepared for the increased bloodwork, treatments, tests, MEDICATION.... and the hard, often agonizing hit to my mind, emotions, finances, relationships... It would take more courage for me to fight this battle and SURVIVE.. I need God and the wonderful support of REAL family and friends to be BRAVE!

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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#courage #focus #focused #thisiswhatafighterlookslike #keepgoing #standstrong

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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Lovely Lady in White! I think has got to be my favorite shoot ever! The natural light was in favor with @agent31photo work this day. It's so beautiful!!!

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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In the words of Jill Scott.... Living my life like it's GOLDEN! Regardless of how I feel... I refuse....Absolutely REFUSE to look like it! Let me tell you it now really hurts to wear my stilettos but I won't stop wearing them. I must stay fabulous! I have to keep that make up supply stocked (I have multiple cases lol) because it's like my BEAUTIFUL Superpower that gives me strength. THE moment my face is done I can handle the world...fabulously!!! To look at me in this picture is to see a woman with so many scars from surgeries, cuts, needles, IVs..... burns, discolorations, bruises... I have a few (well maybe more than a few) bones that have been fractured and healed. I used to wear wigs strictly for fashion...now well I don't have most of my hair. But what you really see...and will ALWAYS see is a woman who wakes up every day to not live with cancer....but Fight it...SURVIVE IT! As I meet more and more survivors, especially young girls, it becomes paramount for me to show them....encourage them with the beautiful image of WHAT A FIGHTER LOOKS LIKE! Thanks as always to my incredible photographer @agent31photo

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thisiswhatafighterlookslike · 6 years

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Beauty in Black! On a day when you're trembling from weakness and your back, right hip and leg hurts so bad.... when the weather is good but you are FREEZING as always.... it feels everything hurts internally and it took all your strength to get dressed and do your make up.... You can still show up and rock an amazing photo shoot! It never stops being important to show the world... THIS IS WHAT A FIGHTER LOOKS LIKE! Thanks to my photographer @agent31photo

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