This song is inspired by @mcelhenneyarms 's post. Go read it, it's such a beautiful insight on Dennis' feelings and I felt extremely inspired to write a song about it. So here it is and it's called On Repeat, made by (as previously intended) me. I really hope you'll enjoy this song!
The song is played on an acoustic steel-stringed guitar and doesn't have any other sort of production to it; it's me singing and it's me playing the guitar, simple as that. This, as well as the fact that you can "hear the strings getting played" creates a very raw feeling to it, which I deemed very fitting for the topic. And while I didn't add anything else than that to the recording the dynamic is still purposely changing between every part; in the way I play the guitar and in the way I sing.
It's entirely controlled by feelings, which I hope is evident in the song; the dynamic is closely connected to every feel of the words and to the feel of every line.
The song is in E major and the chord progression is quite easy; it switches between the first chord of the scale (E in this case), to the fourth chord of the scale (A in this case) and back to the first chord.
This progression was inspired by the chord progression in Saturdays by Louis Tomlinson, a very lyrically strong song as well as really cool dynamics.
The song ends on an A major, the fourth chord of the scale, which leaves the ending feeling "unfulfilled" in a way because it doesn't end "at home", which would be an E in this case (the first chord of the scale). I did this intentionally because the lyrics at the end go "now press the button, play it on repeat", which is both a reference to the start of the song when a movie is playing on repeat as well as a symbol for the end of the post that inspired this song, when it's mentioned that these things that happen are reoccurring. This also fits well with the phrase "on repeat", because it feels like the song "should" continue after the chord.
It's not the most "unstable" chord of the scale (which would be the fifth chord, in this case a B, because this chord really "wants to" lead back to the first chord, an E in this case, and usually doesn't stand on its own in that way) but it's not the first chord, so while it's not extremely unstable it's still some sort of longing for a continuation, hence, it playing on repeat.
I also want to say that even though the song is done now, there might (as per usual) be a few changes here and there as I continue to play the song and as the melody becomes more certain and the lyrics too. But this is one version of the song. (This means that I might update it as everything grows even more solid.)
Anyway, I believe that was what I wanted to say theory-wise, so here are the lyrics of the song and the recording is at the top of the post. Once again, enjoy!
***
On Repeat
It's another highschool night of another basement
Another time watching the sky turn blue
The movie's been hit, once again, on replay
And I'm crammed on a couch between you two
The guy on my right never knew his dad
His mother's affectionate but most likely sad
From his uncle he should stay away
Never says a word about it, but I relate anyway
Others call him names and force him to eat spiders
I still laugh at the punchline made of his name
But I know him as the guy who’s gone through it all
We’re the same, in a way
The guy on my left is dealing drugs
His mom only speaks through frowns and grunts
But he makes himself heard through breaking things
Making people sure of what’s happening
A framed photo is placed in the hallway
With his dad and his mom who had a smile on her face
He tells me his father’s in prison
But it’s alright ‘cause there’s love left in their family anyway
I call him annoying every day
That I hate him over and over again
But I know him as the guy who feels too much but still acts brave
We’re the same, in a way
It’s the summer after high school when
I was almost sure that I loved them
But I’m heading off to college now
Don’t wanna leave you two behind
The light catches in streaks on dirty windows
Blurs the colors just like tears
I’m not even sure that I'm crying
Think there’s nothing left in me
So I try to make it up
For all the days we’d spend together
But it ends with nights in tears
And lonely thoughts that last forever
Why couldn’t I have fun without them?
Through hazy nights that have been laced with something
But twenty girls can’t make up
For the lack of two guys who took my heart
And it’s waking up the dormant feelings
With nightmare-like thrashing and screaming
And twenty girls but just one guy
Is enough for me to make me cry
It’s the break between semesters and
I’m finally back at home again
And they’re hugging me
But I just feel sick
But I stuff it down enough for them
A make-believe façade because
They’d call it something stupid, just like guilt
We decide to buy a bar together
I drop out of college for the better
Making plans to move in with the guy on my left
To finally move out of my parents’ house
And hope to never see my dad again
It’s decades later but now
I’m watching everything fall somehow
The ones I trusted all the time
Stole everything that was supposed to be mine
The guy on my right is my father’s favorite
They spend every waking minute together
But when he finally finds his real dad
My own asks me to get his favorite back
And in the grand scheme of things
When the guy on my left struggled with his identity
His own dad leaves but mine stays right there
Has a breakthrough and now he understands
Despite the shit he did to me
Blaming me excessively
Thin-veiled comments about my style
Or makeup and clothes and all that kind
He accepts him for who he is, but never me
Wasn’t there to watch it happen
But now it doesn’t fucking matter
Because he never cared, not about anything
Left me out to dry when I needed him the most
When I wasn’t useful anymore he ditched me, but at what cost?
Berated, terrorized and emotionally neglected me
Don’t you dare to do it anymore
And so the movie ends
The story finishes
Now press the button, play it on repeat
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That dude Stockholm Syndrome-d me harder than I’d anticipated—it’s true
But even if he’s a horrible lil bitch, the horrible lil bitch is still a person who kinda deserves to be loved (especially after the childhood thing) (bro deserves happiness)
Sorry not sorry for exposing @tangerinestilettos . A conversation we just had:
Him: *rants about how hot Mac is* I feel like I’m objectifying him
Me: Nah, it’s fine, he’s a psycho fictional character
Him: My god, the Stockholm Syndrome’s kicking in. I care about that bitch
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