#zoe meta

[lesbian-kyoru]

on suo and taichi

the period of time that suo and taichi spend playing karuta together, as well as spending a lot of their non-karuta time together, is genuinely fascinating to me. while i love so many of the relationships and dynamics in chihayafuru, suo and taichi’s is without a doubt my favorite in the series. 

they come from very different backgrounds (with regards to class, location, family, how they’re perceived socially, etc.). they are almost diametrically opposed within the karuta world, too—suo is a five-time meijin, a genius to whom karuta came naturally, whereas taichi continually struggles with being unable to catch up with chihaya, arata, and the other players around him. even with these differences, it’s the striking amount of qualities that they share, both positive and negative, that allow them to form one of the most unlikely yet deep connections in the story. 

while suo initially comes into taichi’s life in a sort of mentor/teacher role, imo calling their dynamic strictly a mentorship would be reductive. setting aside their in-text denial and/or acceptance of the nature of their relationship (truthfully, i don’t think either of them fully knows what to call it LMAO), their relationship actually subverts the typical mentor/disciple dynamic. their innate similarities, as well as their ability to see through each other’s pretenses, allow them to reach an equal ground that you wouldn’t expect. taichi is able to reciprocate the way that suo invested in him, making just as much of an impact on suo and helping him accept himself in turn.

what gets me the most about their dynamic is that taichi, a person who spends so much time trying to escape himself and disguise his shortcomings, is able to be the most real version of himself around suo. the caveat to this statement is that, yes, taichi has pretty much hit rock bottom when he starts spending time with suo… but that rock bottom version of taichi is a part of the real him, and it’s suo’s understanding and acceptance of that part of him that even allows taichi to start playing karuta again, albeit with a new and arguably disingenuous playstyle. getting rejected by chihaya sent taichi into a self-destructive freefall which starts with quitting the karuta club, torpedoing his friendship with chihaya, and throwing himself into his studies. he is absolutely Doing Bad, and he has deeper reasons for believing that he hates karuta, but i’ll get to that in a second.

while most of the emphasis initially is placed on suo becoming taichi’s new light house, suo is also not at a good place in life. he’s very aware of his retinal disease (it’s the reason he hasn’t visited his family in eight years), and he’s fallen into a very nihilistic mindset. while that mindset of letting everything go and not caring is what allows him to demolish his opponents in karuta, it’s something that he’s allowed to seep into his personal life as well. he’s terrified of not making anything meaningful of his life, about not being able to become an outstanding person or someone to be admired; his solution is to project an attitude of total apathy. if he pretends that his goals and pursuits don’t really matter, he won’t have to think about what it would mean to lose them. with his worsening eyesight and losing the ability to play karuta looming on the horizon, he avoids the future at every turn. 

textually he’s in his eighth year of college because of a german class that he can’t pass, but i’d argue that his avoidance of graduating is also by choice. college is comfortable, routine, and allows suo to stall his future in a tangible way. he also plans to retire after his fifth meijin win because he “doesn’t like karuta,” and he would’ve if arata hadn’t begged him not to. because again, it’s easier for him to not care—and there’s no better way to demonstrate not caring than to preemptively quit. his inclination was to quit while he was ahead (and before his eyesight got any worse), rather than confront the pain of potentially losing his title that he actually did value.

this is broadly speaking the set-up we’ve been given for suo and taichi before their paths cross in a meaningful way. it’s not difficult to notice that there are a ton of parallels between them, but the first one that’s acknowledged by the characters themselves is that suo and taichi both “hate karuta.” it occurs in chapter 141, when taichi follows suo after running into him at dinner. suo tells him that he thought taichi was admirable for pursuing karuta around people who were so passionate about it, even though taichi didn’t share that love. 

this is a very loaded scene to tackle, because neither taichi or suo actually hate karuta. this is explicitly revealed when taichi loses in the challenger match and during the meijin matches for suo, but that doesn’t render this entire scene a falsehood. in fact, taichi’s strong emotional reaction to suo’s words (he cries and then chases after him) conveys that suo was 100% on the mark in understanding taichi’s feelings, despite their limited interactions up to that point.

the key to understanding what taichi “hating karuta” actually means is in the same chapter. he reflects back on harada’s words about spending his entire youth on karuta. this comes after suo’s lecture on words holding power, and taichi decides that harada’s words, which had motivated him for so long, have become a “curse.” in this moment where he’s hit rock bottom, taichi believes that harada’s words trapped him into a futile pursuit of karuta. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that taichi was miserable for the two years he was in the karuta club; those times were absolutely precious to him, even if it’s hard for him to see that in his post-rejection depressive spiral. 

rather, the reason taichi ended up seeing karuta as a “cursed” was because he felt he lacked the passion that everyone else, particularly chihaya and arata, innately had for karuta. he didn’t actually lack this passion, or else literally most of his actions in the story wouldn’t have happened. but imo taichi, who is normally incredibly self-aware, has a huge blindspot: he prioritizes others’ needs and dreams ahead of his own, which he does realize, but he doesn’t recognize how that causes him to unconsciously strip his own dreams of their value. 

it’s a bit of a cyclical problem: because he doesn’t think his own goals matter, he has to push himself to prioritize them. but because it doesn’t come naturally to prioritize himself, he sells himself short and assumes that he must not want to win as badly as everyone else. especially since his two best friends have been so single-mindedly committed to karuta (and more skilled than him) since they were kids, taichi undermines his own love for karuta and then feels isolated by that self-perception.

this is where suo comes in and helps taichi make a breakthrough with some well-intentioned nihilism. there’s a lot of nuance to suo and taichi’s relationship in general, but particularly in the way that they meet. suo and taichi truly meet when they’re both in a toxic and dark place, and you could argue that they enable each other to both lean into that darkness or toxicity—and hear me out, they do, but it’s in a way that ultimately impacts them both for the better. even though they both experience a lot of joy and mutual understanding in their time spent together, it’s through being at their worst together that they’re able to move forward at all.

as much as suo is regarded as taichi’s mentor and teacher, he is far from a wise sage teaching taichi the ways of the world. for one thing, that is really overselling suo’s grasp on being a functional person—he has just as many toxic coping mechanisms as taichi, if not more. second, that is overselling how much suo taught or influenced taichi. 

coming back to their first substantial conversation in chapter 141, suo doesn’t actually tell taichi anything new. it was all beliefs that taichi already held about himself, but refused to admit about his own self-perception. he already had internalized that he didn’t love karuta like the people around him, he already was predisposed to preferring to give up and not care rather than potentially fail, he already felt different and unable to go on playing karuta the way that he was.

therefore, what actually happens in this scene is that suo immediately clocks these insecurities that taichi prefers to not think about, and he voices them. he sees taichi and the secret he’s tried to hide from his friends—that he doesn’t love karuta like they do—with startling clarity. and then suo accepts that about him. what’s more, he tells taichi that that’s okay, because he’s the same: he also doesn’t like karuta. this accomplishes a few purposes narratively.

at his absolute worst, taichi is seen for exactly who he is, the most real and undisguised version of himself (again, this is complicated by the fact that taichi and suo both loved karuta all along, but in the moment suo is exactly on the mark about how taichi views himself, regardless of what becomes of those beliefs later), and he receives acceptance. taichi spends so much of the story wishing to be someone else, anyone else, because escaping himself—becoming someone else entirely who doesn’t have his flaws—sounds easier than overcoming those obstacles. but as taichi grows, he develops a desire to strive for self-improvement and becoming the best version of himself. in chapter 108 he expresses this: he doesn’t want to be a coward anymore, but he also doesn’t want to run from the person he is. 

thus, the acceptance that taichi receives from suo is a huge step on that winding path towards accepting himself. for someone to immediately see through his carefully constructed facade down to the very core of who he is—not to mention, to be told that suo finds him admirable—is distressing and shocking to taichi. however, it also serves as a breakthrough for him. this isn’t the first time taichi has dropped his pretenses around suo, either—earlier on when he lied about being chihaya’s boyfriend, he felt compelled to come clean about it the next time he saw suo. we get the sense that for whatever reason, taichi feels like he can be an honest version of himself around suo (this is huge for a character like taichi), and that suo admires taichi’s ability to let his guard down around him.

the second purpose this scene on the staircase serves is that, after acknowledging and accepting taichi at his worst, suo tells him that they’re the same. after finding this out, taichi looks up at suo in awe; even though suo also dislikes karuta, he’s “invincible on the tatami.” up to this moment, taichi’s image of a good karuta player was someone who loved it immeasurably. he’s never been presented with a different type of player. what’s more, he’s never considered that someone like him could reach the meijin’s level. that, when all is said and done, is what held taichi back, more than any perceived lack of skill. that’s the reason he’s able to go back to karuta training with suo. their huge gap in skill doesn’t deter taichi; what matters is that they both feel no passion for karuta, and with that commonality, taichi no longer thinks it’s impossible to reach suo’s level.

the period of time where suo and taichi train together is tricky to break down because, even during taichi’s self-proclaimed villain arc which is spurred on by suo’s nihilistic tendencies, taichi experiences a lot of growth and does reach a better place—just not in the way you’d expect. he grows in a nonlinear way, almost getting way worse before he can get better. 

the visual emphasis on darkness and light in suo and taichi’s dynamic extends to the narrative as well. their relationship and how they behave around each seems self-contradictory, paradoxical in nature. through a shared “apathy,” they play karuta together for hours, for days, for weeks at a time. taichi reflects on how he assumed being by suo’s side would feel painful due to his genius, but again, the ways that they’re similar make taichi feel more at home than ever before. even if it’s only with the intention to mess with the other players, it’s in large part due to his practice with suo that taichi is able to become the eastern representative at all. in a twisted way, obfuscated by the pretense that they both don’t care about karuta, suo is the reason taichi is able to fall in love with karuta again (and later, taichi bringing suo’s family to the meijin match is a catalyst for suo to do the same). 

during one of their practice matches in chapter 150, taichi thinks to himself “now that i’ve separated myself from the team, now that i’m alone and on my own, for the first time in my life i’m actually having fun playing karuta.” this line is pretty layered, but ultimately i do think that taichi is being sincere here. the line about leaving the team is evidence of him still working through a lot of his insecurities. obviously, he loved chihaya and the karuta team a lot and is trying to stomp out the pain that situation caused him by pretending he always hated it. 

even so, taichi genuinely enjoys playing suo or else he wouldn’t be there. in fact, at this point in the story taichi has inaccurately internalized that he only pretended to love karuta in order to stay by chihaya’s side. if that was true, nothing would’ve been able to bring him back to karuta after he was rejected and quit the karuta club.

imo, suo also wouldn’t waste his time playing against taichi if he didn’t truly want to. he’s drawn to seek out taichi in part because he also hones in on their similarities. even more, suo has a reputation for making other players hate karuta, leaving him with very few people that want to play against him consistently. since taichi also “hates karuta” like him, losing against suo doesn’t deter taichi; he can’t grow to hate something that he already doesn’t care about. this ends up being incredibly freeing for taichi. 

in fact, earlier in chapter 150, hyoro thinks as he’s playing against chihaya during nationals, “come back, mashima. i’m lonely. being by the talent’s side is so painful”—but that doesn’t appear to be a feeling that taichi shares. in direct juxtaposition, the next page has taichi reflecting that he “thought being by meijin suo’s side would be more painful,” with the implication that he hasn’t found his time with suo to be painful at all. it’s clear from their playful banter, from taichi’s relaxed, open body language around suo, from the ease with which they ask each other personal questions (and then never answer them). even though taichi constantly loses against suo, he genuinely wants to be there with him. this is actually huge for a character like taichi, who will avoid losing at any cost. taichi’s uphill karuta battle against suo just doesn’t seem to phase him at all, because again, regardless of their gap in skill, their similarities and shared lack of passion have given taichi all the hope and satisfaction he needs to keep playing right now.

that’s ultimately the point i’m working toward with regards to the paradoxical nature of suo and taichi’s relationship: even though their deep bond is forged through apathy, through pretending to not care, through reveling in the worst parts of each other—they still find immense understanding in each other, and a lot of happiness and joy in playing karuta together. 

as i was writing this, i actually thought of something i’ve heard in therapy a lot: it’s unhealthy to continually lie to yourself about your own emotions. it’s a lot healthier to let yourself be honest and feel what you feel, even your most negative emotions—and that’s what i think suo gives taichi the space to do in this arc. although taichi (and eventually suo) both come around to acknowledging that they do love karuta, in his post-rejection depressive spiral it was actually very important for taichi to let himself feel his feelings, especially when it came to karuta. he had formed such a complex about his self-efficacy, hinging his worth on whether he won or lost, but imo he never really let himself acknowledge those darker feelings because the people around him loved karuta wholeheartedly. 

in the time taichi spends with suo, the unconditional acceptance that suo gives him is what frees taichi to start being a more honest version of himself. truthfully, if taichi hadn’t encountered suo and started playing with him, i doubt he would’ve started playing karuta again at all, at least not in high school. even if his villain era contained its own falsehoods and missteps, it was still an important step. this mindset was crucial for taichi to work through so that when he did come back to loving karuta and holding it dear, it wasn’t something that he forced himself to do. it was a conclusion he came to on his own, because he truly does love karuta and always has—but he was only able to reach this point because he played alongside suo. alongside someone who didn’t trigger his self-imposed inadequacies about not caring enough, or constantly make him feel that he wasn’t passionate enough. taichi ends up finding a karuta that isn’t solely harada’s, nor is it just a copy of suo’s nasty style; it’s taichi’s most authentic karuta, the honest version of himself that he always hoped to grow up to be.

writing this is making me emotional LMAO but it’s really reaffirmed to me how, as convoluted as their dynamic is, as much as suo and taichi sidestep around what they really feel and communicate in very guarded ways, the bond that they form is so unconditional. they understand each other for exactly what they are, and they push each other to be more truthful—but they also let each other exist in that bitterness, that indifference when they both need to. they hear each other in the quiet, and they live in the same shadows, and it’s that quiet understanding that lets them pull each other towards light. 

taichi felt like suo could see the darker parts of his personality, his flaws and insecurities, and still accept them. taichi could play a karuta with suo where he didn’t feel like he had to be more like the people around him. through this experience, taichi was able to admit to himself that he did love karuta after all. furthermore, because suo helped taichi reach this realization himself, taichi was able to help suo come to the same realization. 

a lot of why their relationship is so powerful, and why they’re able to impact each other so profoundly, is because taichi and suo both loved karuta so much all along, but they didn’t, but they did. even though they played karuta together under the pretense that they both didn’t like karuta, they did. that’s why that time they spend playing together, in spite of its blatant nihilism and mutual toxicity, feels like a genuinely happy and special time that they share. 

while i selfishly would’ve loved to get one last scene between them in the final chapter of the manga, there’s actually something incredibly poignant to me in the way they don’t speak. taichi never gets the chance to plainly tell suo that he in a way saved taichi, as dramatic as that sounds; suo never gets to thank taichi for bringing his family to the meijin match, for giving suo just as much as suo gave to him. i love that this final cathartic moment is left entirely unspoken, because it’s so true to them.

i also love how utterly selfless this lack of a final scene renders their relationship as a whole. suo, who never seemed to care about much of anything, invested so greatly in taichi that he was able to become a karuta player who could challenge arata; taichi, who struggled with acting selflessly and then resenting when he didn’t get anything in return, goes to nagasaki behind suo’s back because he knows suo wants to see his family. the fact that there’s no “thank you,” no direct acknowledgment of these acts (particularly in taichi’s case) is incredibly powerful to me. in chapter 150, we learn that taichi said, “he can now hear suo-san’s quiet voice loud and clear”—and to me, these selfless acts of quiet care between them, an unspoken and understated connection, truly exemplify that idea.

suo and taichi absolutely hold the time they spent playing karuta together—their convoluted mentor/disciple dynamic—as dear, regardless of how they act like it doesn’t matter. it takes a long time before they can acknowledge that karuta, and by extension the time they spend playing together, meant a lot to both of them. they went through their worst together, but they absolutely changed each other for the better.

#chihayafuru #mashima taichi #suou hisashi #chihayafuru analysis #chihayafuru spoilers #sorry if there are any errors or typos here!! i tried my best to reference the manga very closely while writing #this is quite a long one and i think i got a little muddy with what my thesis even was lmao #but i haven't written a long form essay on tumblr in so long and waaaah it felt so fun to do that again!!! #also disclaimer which everyone already knows: i do also ship suotai but tried to take off my gay glasses to write this analysis #suotai #i'll tag it anyways lmaoooooo #zoe meta #zoe.txt

[sleepynegress]

A COMPREHENSIVE & AUTHENTIC UHURA LOVE/HISTORY POST

The above is where Roddenberry 1st employed Nichelle Nichols [click to watch the full clip]. It was a military show based on Roddenberry's own experiences, the episode is called To Set it Right (I highly suggest reading the wiki article about it).

You should note two other actors, whom he later pegged for Star Trek are in the episode.

They dated briefly and then became good friends way before Trek came about.

Miss Nichols was already an accomplished singer and dancer who performed regularly w/ Billy Eckstine and Duke Ellington

Roddenberry's 1st show, The Lieutenant, was canceled/pulled from the air before these scenes bluntly dealing with racism could air (there's blackface as punishment for the racists at the end of the show, in a case of 'he 'a little confused but got the spirit' for the times, so tw)

He created Star Trek to try to soften the blow of all the social messaging he wanted to insert from his military experience. Star Trek was basically, a submarine drama placed in a sci-fi setting. He made it diverse on purpose because the military helped him travel and serve with all kinds of people. Roddenberry was inspired by that.

Uhura was the first person to read for Spock and in fact, helped to shape the character with her reading and based many of the traits of Uhura (formerly Uhuru) on Spock.

She was basically a glorified secretary. She played the part with poise, joy, and the 60's style womanism she got to play out for those times... Everything from her mini-skirt (which Nichelle herself called very comfortable) to her smile, and teasing lines, and quips were about her playing "big" in a small role. She made every moment, every look, every line, and movement count:

Roddenberry cracked jokes about the fact that the network never figured out that Uhura was fourth in command.

Nichelle was the only main cast member who was not salaried. She was paid by the hour. This attempt at marginalization actually resulted in her being the highest paid at times, because of the long hours.

Nichelle was not let in the front entrance at times, her fan-mail was kept from her, and she grew frustrated with the constant cutting of her scenes, lines and storylines. This is why she justifiably attempted to leave. The bigots in production did not like her being there (and if we're being real, were it not for Janice Rand's actress Grace Lee Whitney having gone through so much and thus losing her job in the 1st season...Uhura might have had even LESS presence)

The lost context in MLK convincing her to stay was that YES she was minimized and could make more money and be more fulfilled on broadway, but her symbolism and presence meant so much at a time when Black women weren't on TV unless as a racist caricature cleaning a house, and even that was rare...that she stayed.

One of her best allies was DeForest Kelly, who threatened to quit if they fired Nichelle. George Takei was her absolute best friend on the show and in life (she served as his Best Woman at his wedding).

There was an unfilmed episode in which Uhura and Deforest would have played reverse roles in "racial dynamics" on a planet they visit

Spock and Uhura were originally supposed to kiss in the alien mind control episode, but Shatner demanded to do so for the publiicity.

Her work to recruit marginalized people as astronauts, as in personally going to colleges and talking to candidates after the show is a staggering achievement that arguably is the most potent of any castmember in any of the Trek series post-show. Sally Ride, Guy Bluford (she personally recruited the 1st woman and 1st black astronaut), Mae Jemison (the 1st black woman credits her for inspiring her to become an astronaut).

Uhura did finally command the ship in the animated series. She would not have gotten to voice the role, but for Leonard Nimoy making it an obligation that all the original actors voice their parts for him to come on.

Scotty and Uhura in the film was definitely a pair the spares situation, in which both were the leftover senior citizens with the writers just going "why not?"

it was beyond insulting and she did protest about the scene where she's bumbling through a giant translation book to speak to klingons for laughs in trek 5 ...but her best moment IMO is her pulling a gun on the young ensign in the transporter room in Trek 3...sadly her ONLY scene in the damn movie.

Miss Saldana got to play to MANY corrections in JJ Abrams rebooted Trek, from being amazing at languages to having an actual life & love, to confidently turning down Kirk at every turn.

FUN FACT!! Both JJ and Bob Orci both expressed disappointed shock that the love story between Spock & Uhura got more hatred from fans than BLOWING UP PLANET VULCAN.

another FUN FACT!! The love story between Spock & Uhura is what grabbed the old school Star Wars fan (JJ Abrams) enough to come aboard to direct. Yep. JJ ships Spock & Uhura.

Zoe's iteration became the 1st version of Uhura to speak confidently in Klingon

Celia Rose Gooding becoming Uhura brings around a lot of Uhura's qualities full circle, IMO. As she is also from theatre (like Nichelle) and has a beautiful singing voice as well as the charm. Zoe's iteration was sharper, and much more protective, professional, & mature, about her life and love.

Celia Rose has the youthful curiousity and stars in her eyes and had vulnerability from her first intro... I loved the eagerness the crew showed to being in her orbit, seeing the glow of her talent and being drawn to that, to have a part in nurturing that.

As I've said... Celia IMO has the most dazzling smile, giant warm brown eyes, fantastic curves, and an energy that feels essentially Uhura, & that is all light, joy, a bit of uncertainty, -from the light singing (!) and the growth to her joy in discovery... I'd love to see her writing move away from serving and be more about her wants needs and growing in friendships/loves.

But Celia is a gift and is perfectly cast.

Essentially Uhura = femininity, graceful carriage, gorgeous smile, excellence in engineering and translation (canon!), ability to sing and play the Vulcan lyre, sharp womanist wit, love for her U.S. of African-Kenyan culture and being beloved by all crew...

When Miss Celia hummed those gorgeous notes to the alien entity on that comet?? That Solidified that she IS Uhura IMO.

I 100% think they fucked up by killing Hemmer, because that mentor-mentee relationship was giving marginalized coming together and bonding over everybody else's bullshit and I was here for it...it was giving me Data and Geordi updated...and since then, IMO they've lost track and given us the same kinda backwards wingwoman role BS, that people who like to pretend to be her fan shoehorn her into.

...but I have high hopes that they'll course-correct.

All this to say ALL OF THE ABOVE is Uhura and anyone calling her ugly, bossy, pushy, annoying, whatever is just sad little hater who doesn't know wtf they are talking about.

#uhura #celia rose gooding #zoe saldana #nichelle nichols #nyota uhura #star trek #star trek 2009 #st: snw #star trek: strange new worlds #star trek strange new worlds #strange new worlds #meta #anti-misogynoir #see how easy it is to talk up Uhura w/o pretending the only reason she's allowed to be is to get two dudes together? #see how easy it is to post something about who she is beyond a photo and just claiming she's your fave? #Youtube #another tidbit is that my man karl urban who gave the most direct and authentic playing of his reiteration IMO... #IS a true trekkie who spoke up for canon moments Spock and Uhura share in TOS when they got questions about Spock/Uhura in the reboot #p.s. yall got scammed by the gofundme for nichelle #her son moved her to new mexico and sold her house out from under the grifter because he was squatting there #yall just gave that fanclub lady free money #fanclub lady was making her work and sign autographs through dementia for the grift too #note yall aint see where 70k went since her passing have you? #sadly

[rallamajoop]

The Baker Incident Report and the Resident Evil 7 Guidebook

While I’m talking obscure sources of RE7 lore, there's a couple more I’ve been poking through lately: the Baker Incident Report file (only available with the RE8 Trauma Pack DLC), and the BIOHAZARD 7 resident evil kaitaishinsho or RE7 guidebook (only available in Japanese, though some translations have made their way online).

I’m not the biggest fan of these kinds of ‘canon’ – fans shouldn’t have to go pouring through pages of DLC-exclusive-text-dumps or untranslated supplements to find out WTF was supposed to be going on – and both of these have other problems I’ll get into below. All that said, here's some of the more interesting new info they give us.

From the BIR, the Winters were moved to ‘Eastern Europe’, as witness protection from the Connections. That's still frustratingly unspecific, but more than we’re ever explicitly told in the game.

The lab that created Eveline is in Munich, Germany, per the BIR. This one does add up: close enough to Eastern Europe for Miranda to be involved, but not so close that it would necessarily ring alarm bells for Mia when the BSAA wanted to move them right to Miranda’s doorstep. Mia’s obviously been to the Munich lab, but presumably didn’t know exactly where the mould comes from (something redacted out even in their own reports). The guidebook also places the lab in Europe, but doesn't give a city. The BIR adds that the Connections are active in Eastern Europe, and we know they have facilities in Central America. Presumably there are offices in Texas too ‒ Mia can't be commuting cross continents to get to work every day.

Eveline was shipped to Central America due to an attempted raid by the BSAA, which is far more we learn from the "Orders" file from the game. The BIR goes so far as to imply that this botched operation was indirectly responsible for the whole Baker Incident, with Chris and his team leaving due to their frustration with the BSAA's attempts to cover the incident up. The guidebook, however, tells us Chris Redfield was actually the guy leading the team behind the failed raid. I assume we’re meant to take it that the mission failed because of an info leak, but I’m still amused by just how ineffectual this franchise keeps making Chris out to be.

Post RE7, Zoe is working as a reporter for a small paper in New Orleans. We don't know if she too went through witness protection but her name was listed among the dead at the Baker mansion.

Ethan is called a systems engineer in both the guide book and the BIR (this one does seem to have been spread around fandom more widely).

Eveline was created in the early 2000s, according to the guidebook. This one really doesn't add up for me: if the project started in 2000 and had already advanced through the A-E series by the early 2000s, why did it stagnate there for the next 10 years without further progress? Did Miranda leaving the project set it back so far? They can't have been waiting for Eveline to grow up, she can age 25x faster than usual, and is being deliberately maintained at the age of a 10yo girl. IDEK, I'd be inclined to ignore this one.

The guidebook states that Mia told people she worked for a "trading company," and was often away from home for work, something which had already strained the Winters’ marriage. I'd guess she told people she spent a lot of time accompanying shipments of goods when she was really smuggling materials or taking part in covert operations for the Connections.

The guidebook gives 2010 as the year she started working for the Connections (a year before her marriage to Ethan in 2011, though it doesn’t mention when they met, which may well have been 2010 or earlier). Mind you, this is also the one bit that randomly calls her "a researcher", so take it as you will (more on this below).

Of Mia's involvement with the project that created Eveline, it says only that the Connections' Special Agents Alan and Mia were assigned to transport Eveline to America. No real indication Mia was ever involved before then.

Of Mia's relationship to Eveline, it says that Mia "found Eveline creepy, but felt sympathy for her lonely situation." You and the rest of us, Mia.

Eveline forced Mia to lure Ethan to the Bakers' property in hope that adding Ethan to their family would make Mia more compliant, according to the guidebook. Eveline was especially fixated on Mia, having known her longer than the Bakers, and was frustrated with Mia's continued resistance to her control. Mia seems to have tried to keep Ethan's existence secret from Eveline to protect him, but somehow let it slip. All this is already implied in-game, of course, but it's nice to have it spelt out.

The Bakers feed people infected food because “oral and mucosal infections” are supposedly better for mould-powered mind-control. Ethan is obviously already infected AF well before their attempts to feed him 'dinner' (there's no way his severed hand would be usable otherwise), but IDK, maybe ingesting some extra mould would have made it easier for Eveline to control him? I'm sure a 10yo girl and a family of hillbillies do not have this down to an exact science, and I wouldn't even be surprised if feeding people mould was counter-productive somehow, given their success rate.

So why did none of those infected prisoners join Eveline's "family" alongside the Bakers? The guide book tells us simply that all were "deemed unfit" as family members, and were thus killed, and converted into molded instead.

We get official names for all the molded types we meet in the game (Moulded, Blade Moulded, Quick Moulded and Fat Moulded – pretty self-explanatory).

As a side-note, Ethan himself gets referred to as a ‘molded’ around this fandom a lot, which really isn’t correct. Ethan’s infected by the mold in the same manner as the Baker family, whereas ‘molded’ is a term coined to describe what amounts to mutamycete zombies (see above): the unintelligent, inhuman monsters that made up the generic enemy types of RE7, whose whole bodies are simply “superorganisms formed of countless mycelia.”

The guide book also implies that Jack’s final, mutated form reflects that he’s starting to become a moulded himself, which is a very interesting little detail.

Notes attached to concept art suggest that most moulded are created from dead bodies, covered by mould in bathtubs to convert them. Eveline is also seen spontaneously converting people to shapeless mould though, and clearly converted much of the ship’s crew into moulded-creatures in a very short time after her escape. It’s not super-consistent, but it is all horror-logic at its best (read: the rules are whatever will make this scene scarier).

There’s a bunch of additional stuff in the BIR naming the Connections’ founder as Brandon Bailey, someone who naturally has ties to Umbrella, blah, blah, blah ‒ I’m sure it all means more to fans of some of the older games. I can't pretend to have much interest in this part myself.

So with all that interesting info, what's my big problem with these sources? Well, for one thing, you don’t have to look far into the guidebook to find info that contradicts what we already know – and sometimes even itself. One page clearly describes Mia as a special agent working for the Connections ‒ a description that matches the wording used in the Orders document, and everything we see Mia doing in the game. But then another page randomly tells us Mia was hired as "a researcher" ‒ a description that matches nothing else we know about her (though it's an irritatingly common misconception, and this book may be the reason why). No-one's checking any of this stuff for consistency.

The guidebook also features such other gems as telling us Ethan currently lives and works in Los Angeles, when both Mia’s driver’s license and all geographical logic tell us they’re from Texas. Then there's that weird bit about Eveline being created in the early 2000s... and realistically, I can only assume a lot of what made it into the book may have come from earlier concept notes that were never updated as the story developed ‒ and if you read anything else on the production of this game, you'd know that concepts changed massively as development went on.

But more frustrating is everything the book doesn’t tell us. There isn’t a word said about the oh-so-mysterious "imprinting protocol" that Mia references in the game. How does it work? Is it, as the ending text spiel seems to imply, merely something that can be implemented in a hurry when Eveline needs to be transported across the globe? Can she be imprinted on more than one person at once? Has she ever been imprinted on anyone else? That seems likely, given that the lab’s in Munich while Mia lives in Texas (and if she's really been around since the early 2000s and Mia joined the company only in 2010, she logically must have been), but we don’t find out. Does Eveline get similarly obsessed with everyone she’s imprinted on, or is Mia special? Not a clue.

Since the guidebook was released in March 2017, long before the Not a Hero and End of Zoe DLCs, neither expansion is mentioned in the text. And since we don’t even learn the name ‘The Connections’ until the Not A Hero DLC, the group that created Eveline is referred to simply as the “mysterious organisation” (with quotes) whenever it comes up.

Nothing is said in the guidebook about the new incarnation of Umbrella which was so prominently involved at the end of RE7 either. Possibly, this too was to avoid spoilers for Not A Hero, which does at least give us some info on them – but then, the Baker Incident Report doesn’t mention the new Umbrella at all either, and it doesn’t have that excuse. That omission is all the stranger, considering that Zoe’s whole purpose in writing it is supposedly to expose the cover-up after the Baker Incident – doesn’t Umbrella factor into that at all? It’s like their whole role in RE7 has just wiped clean.

It's also obvious there was so much more lore written for this game that the guide book doesn’t share. Early versions of collectable documents that can still be found in the game files give the D-series head and arm some fascinating backstory, but there’s nothing about them in the guide book, which is a real shame.

Mia especially stands out as a character who must have so much backstory we never hear anything about. How did she get involved with a company as evil as the Connections? How did she justify it to herself for so long – what excuses did she make to herself? Did she genuinely believe they were finding ways to win wars without losing soldiers? Was she gathering evidence against them, was she scared they’d kill her if she left? Not one single word in either the guidebook or the BIR to explain.

Even more annoying to me, though, is just what a wasted opportunity the Baker Incident Report is to add more to Zoe’s story, when she’s one of my favourite RE characters. Included in the text is a letter she received from Mia, giving what should have been the perfect opportunity to flesh out the relationship Zoe and Mia must have built in the three years they spent trapped in the Baker property, the only two (semi-)sane people present – and what does the letter do? Imply they hardly knew each other at all. It’s the most boring possible answer, it contradicts hints from the actual game (Marguerite outright tells us they've been working together, even!), and GDI, you do not get to tell me that my girls didn’t know each other! ;_;

Ethan and Mia similarly get the short shrift. Throughout RE7 their every interaction is building to a big scene that never actually happens where Ethan finds out the truth – Ethan knows Mia’s been keeping secrets, he never stops asking questions about it, and Mia says outright that she wants to come clean. So what does the BIR tell us? Well, post RE7, Mia mentions in an interview that she doesn’t want anyone telling Ethan. Not a word about what changed her mind. Not a word about why Ethan would just stop asking. Total cop-out.

And there’s so much more it could have covered too. There's nothing about Ethan’s ‘military training’. Nothing about the Winters' relationship with Chris. Mia’s conversation with him in RE8 suggests he was personally involved in relocating them to Eastern Europe, but the BIR doesn’t mention that either. The BIR at large is basically just an extended lore dump, and it doesn’t even sound like Zoe’s voice.

So this is about where I finish up with both of these sources: frustrating, inaccessible, inconsistent, and more missed opportunities than real material. There’s a lot in both I’ll happily go on ignoring. But I’ll still pour through them for every last interesting detail, because I am that obsessed with this canon right now, and they’re what we’ve got.

#Resident Evil 7 #Resident Evil Village #Eveline #Mia Winters #Zoe Baker #Ethan Winters #The Connections #The Bakers #RE lore #meta

[oxygenbefore1775]

ok just one more thing about color analysis

(here is the my full post about the color analysis on other characters including Hange)

This one is specifically about Erwin. What I like about his "official" color is that it's the same as Hange's - purple, mirroring their similar fate of becoming Scouts leader. But there's difference in hue, Hange's looks balanced due to having equal ratio of red and blue whereas Erwin's is magenta and warm-toned due to addition of red. And this addition of red is where the root lies.

Beyond the shared qualities that Erwin and Hange possess and that the color purple symbolizes, such as knowledge, ingenuity, dreams and energy - the very attributes that propelled both into great commanders - the additional touch of red in Erwin's color introduces another layer of connotation to his personality, complementing the classic purple symbolism.

Red symbolizes many things but ones that are relevant to my rant are as follows:

The first and obvious one is bloodshed (cuz blood is also red believe it or not). This connotation ties in with Erwin's treatment of his soldiers and subordinates. Although he cares about them, he doesn't hesitate to sacrifice them for the sake of the mission's success which would often result in lives being lost and blood being spilt.

Going off the blood association, the color red also invokes danger - the feeling that was very evident in each of Erwin's endeavors as his plans would entail endangering the lives of other soldiers.

On the positive note, one of connotations of this color that also pertains to Erwin is passion and driving force. In Erwin's case it mirrors his dream to see what lies beyond the walls, the thing that dictated Erwin's decision.

Another thing worth mentioning is that red is commonly known as the color of revolution - a pretty low hanging fruit for me to point out, considering that Erwin went and did just that in season 3.

All in all, the added hint of red to Erwin's "official" color only underscores the aspects that distinguish him from Hange's approach to leadership. On one hand it's more bloodier and cruel when it comes to soldiers' lives but on the other hand it is more driven and inspiring (not that Hange's isn't it's just their dream doesn't really require an army of soldiers, their dream is more "scientific")

#and this concludes my first and last post about erwin cuz i dont feel qualified enough to talk about him beyond the realm of color symbolism #also erwins been given other colors like blue and gray but shhhh were talking purple only #aot #attack on titan #aot meta #snk #shingeki no kyojin #snk meta #erwin #erwin smith #hange #hange zoe

[crimfckeyt]

INSANE POSTING !!!!

#crimfckeyt #original art #lps 2012 #lps art #sunil nevla #vinnie terrio #zoe trent #penny ling #pepper clark #russell ferguson #minka mark #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill v1 #ultrakill #kirby #meta knight #marx kirby #magolor

[levmada]

I like to think levi looks at hange and thinks comfort and stability or consistency. Considering hange is one of the few that came back alive and still maintained their eccentric personality. Excited to learn and to tell levi all about what they’ve learned because that’s bestie right there whether they admit it or not

oh yes. (by one of the few that came back alive i’m assuming you mean after no regrets??)

every scout in short believes in creating a world without the horror of the titans to explore freely, BUT i think hange really embodies that in how they present themself. they’re bubbly and excitable and UNABASHEDLY PASSIONATE about not just titans but the scouts’ whole mission. they’re unashamed.

but hange (and this is often missed by fans for some reason) isn’t stupid or an airhead??? they’re a scientist, and a scientist brave and/or crazy enough to study titans at that. like after nick was murdered, hange played up a whole sympathetic act in order to pick up on a clue that it was the interior MP that did it.

they're so childlike and eccentric and excitable, but the magnitude of everything they personally have been through, and the stakes of the scouts' mission, weighs just as heavily on them as any other scout. like after the titan is discovered in the wall.

(THEYRE TREMBLING ALL OVER😭)

furthermore they're canonically the SCARIEST when angry, including in this situation where they got very close to throwing nick off the wall. NOT EVEN LEVI IS AS SCARY FIROGJTIR this has nothing to do with their relationship im rambling sorry sorry

they're a reckless risk-taker which reminds me of someone else levi knows lol. interestingly levi never takes unnecessary risks so if hange is levi's comfort, then levi is their anchor lol

bit of a side note but undoubtedly hange reminded levi a lot of isabel. (and erwin w/ farlan, and then falco and gabi it’s true sue me)

one thing levi has criticized hange for is their propensity to run and hide (ie in the uprising arc... not included in the anime)

god this scene is so funny by the way

this comes back up during the rumbling, when hange proposes/muses that they and levi should just stay there and live together. (which makes hange surprisingly like jean, who was the most reluctant in the alliance to fight the rumbling.) levi asks where running and hiding is going to get them...

but hange's position as commander has changed them evidently. the rumbling is leagues worse than the uprising situation, but - and tho that's still what they wanted to do - they were already in the middle of building the cart to transport levi on. which seems to make him feel relieved.

so predictably, levi is the source of strength/stability/comfort for hange after post-RtS. levi looks to them to lead, for stability; they're the last veteran left too. no doubt he was there for them every step of the way.

aka they're both each other's comfort at that point.

so it's interesting to reflect on how their relationship has changed since levi started out ready to shank hange for listening to him, farlan, and isabel discussing their murder erwin plan reeling from their hurricane-force excitement, kind of getting unwittingly attached, and getting royally annoyed whenever hange did something dumb.

ie, almost breaking their neck when falling off that ladder to reach a book in that side story.

#i rambled and theres more i could say IM SORRY #yeah #hange aot #levi aot #snk levi #snk hange #hange zoe #hans zoe #hange zoë #levi ackerman #levi heichou #aot meta #levihan

[waffowo]

It’s very late where I’m at (past 3 am) so I’m quite scattered but The War Games really is something magical because it not only convinced me to sit through 4 hours of Classic Who (and Classic’s pacing is smth I don’t vibe with a lot of the time) but I’m also practically convinced that it’s in the legions (Top 5 probably) of the greatest Doctor Who stories ever.

I think it’s such a pity there’s not much scholarship surrounding this episode because I’m fascinated by the means it can be approached. I think that already within the “lore” (the word makes me feel like throwing up) of Doctor Who, it’s already insanely vital. I think that its ramifications are immense, I think that as many people have covered, its plotting is kind of incredible, and of course there’s episode 10.

Yet I think there’s so much uncharted territory that is yet to be covered (Black Archives do something!!!!). I think the structure of the episodes revolving around capture/escape/capture is insanely vital for how the story is composed. If you find it repetitive (I don’t think it loses any momentum in spite of the beat feeling repetitive), I think it illustrates that very point of how, in a simulacrum of humanity at its worse, history seems to always be repeating in rhymes. But it also really emphasises the futility of the entire mission. The Doctor loses so badly because he’s out of his depth, he believes he is in control of the game when at the end of it, he’s been eclipsed, he’s left bewildered. It’s so lovely while cruelly ironic that the final speech occurs in what seems to be a parallel to the first episode’s mock trial, that it occurs with the same ambiguous beats. Perhaps both cases aren’t equivalent but neither are the capture/escape beats, yet both are so eerily similar because while the Doctor has ended that individual “game” he can’t really “win” war as a concept, as something that prevails beyond the simulation. And I think that’s very very neat.

#doctor who #classic who #second doctor #WAR GAMES!? #patrick troughton #jamie mccrimmon #zoe heriot #dw meta

[theerurishipper]

do you think Zoe as a character is a necessary for the plot?

I lover her design but as far I can see her character doesn't seems to be necessary for the story, at all. I thought at first she'd be a challenge for Chloe to finally become better, especially after the play they did in Queen Banana. I thought with Chloe break of her friendship with Adrien that would be the time for her to slide in and try to be a sister/friend for her which will create a positive characrer development for Chloe.

But as the story progress I feel like she doesn't seems like to make impact on Chloe's life and it seems like she doesn't even interact with Chloe much, she instead hang out with Marinette and end up become another generic character added for the sake for increasing Marinette's harem and I don't know, a better bee holder who wouldn't talk back to Ladybug or demanding thing from her perhaps? Because this show has allergies toward character who challenge Marinette's morality.

I mean if the reason why they added Zoe is just for the sake for a new bee holder, I don't see a reason why they can't use Aurore or Mirriele since they already have unique model. Being from different class doesn't stop Marc to be a miraculous holder after all. If she's added for the sake of lesbian representation, we have JuleRose already. So why is she here?

Honestly? Zoe is one of the most useless characters in the show. She only really exists so that the writers can fit her into whatever role they need to progress the plot, because she doesn't have any established characterization. I do like her design, but that's really about all I can say. She's just such a non-entity to me.

Her first episode was actually quite interesting to me personally. A character who tries to hide her true self and lies in order to be accepted by her peers? Interesting stuff! I dig characters like that. Her being all nice and friendly with Marinette at first and then switching instantly to becoming mean and cruel? How intriguing! What a good way to establish a character! This could be the start of a really good character journey in which Zoe learns that she doesn't have to put on these roles to be accepted, culminating with her earning the Bee Miraculous as a fully established character!

But there was no character arc. There was no arc, no nothing she just... got over it thanks to one speech and got the Bee Miraculous in the next episode and then descended into obscurity. She could have been so much. Imagine how it could have been if we had gotten to explore her character. Like, maybe she could have caused the akuma on her first day instead of being the one to be akumatized. This could have set up everyone else disliking her while leaving Marinette wondering why she seems so different from before, and it could have started Zoe off on the path of realizing she didn't want to put on an act to please bad people and be accepted by them because she didn't want to hurt other people, actually.

Over the course of the season, maybe we could learn about what exactly happened in her old school through a proper backstory and not just an exposition dump. We could learn about why she is the way she through exploring her relationships with her father and her mother. We could have her grow through her interactions with others and her observing Marinette with her friends, and we could have watched her slowly realize that she maybe doesn't want to put on an act anymore and that she just wants to be accepted for herself. This way, we could actually get to see her act this way and understand why she is the way she is, and have her motivation be revealed in a natural and compelling manner, instead of just having it all be dumped onto us in her debut episode.

Then we could have the obligatory akuma, which lets Marinette know that there's more to Zoe after all. Maybe Marinette tries to reach out to Zoe after that. Maybe this leads to Zoe learning what real and true friendships are really like and leads to her finding people whom she can be herself with and who will accept her unconditionally. Maybe we could actually see her hanging out and bonding with everyone and actually watch the scenes with stuff like Rose and Juleka helping her dye her hair instead of it being relegated to an end-of-the-episode montage. They could have used those sneakers of hers more. Those were an interesting and compelling aspect of her character, considering the fact that she would write down the nice things people said about her on it. Maybe we could have a scene of her doing that with her new friends. And maybe after this, she gets the Bee Miraculous, and being able to help Ladybug like this inspires her to help others the way Marinette helped her, which makes her reach out to Chloe, thus letting her true self shine through completely, and this could also prompt a gradual change in Chloe.

I'm just throwing out some scenarios here and I don't claim that I'll do a better job of anything, but I really do think that the reason Zoe's character suffers is because of the abysmal pacing. They set up something interesting with her and then resolved it in one episode, which made her character dull and boring for any other time she's on screen. If they had stretched it out over the course of the season, she would have been way more interesting. As it is, she has nothing going for her.

From a writing perspective, Zoe has the most generic personality ever. She's nice and kind, just like every other character in the show. Any interesting facets to her character or any meaningful conflict she could have faced is fixed in her introductory episode and never seen again, and she herself only ever appears in the background of other episodes along with the rest of Marinette's classmates, contributing nothing of value. Her relationship with Chloe and her promise to always love her? Forgotten. Her conflict about not wanting to put on an act? Somehow, she just... got over it in one day and was always just her authentic self from then on. Like, name one character trait about Zoe that you can't say about anyone else. Even the rest of the class, obscure as they are, have more defined personalities and quirks than she does.

Zoe is literally just there, and the writers pity her sometimes, so they give her stuff to do. And you can't really say any of them don't make sense for her character, because she doesn't really have one beyond the base traits of nice and good. So you need a replacement Chat Noir? Zoe. Need representation? Zoe. There's no real reason for any of this to be her, it just happens to be her... because. Like you said, this could have been done by characters who were already here. We could have had our lesbian rep from Julerose, we could have had Nino for the Black Cat. There's nothing of value that Zoe as a character brings to any of these things, it just so happens to be her because she has nothing else going for her, and because her personality is so underdeveloped and practically non-existent that anything goes. And also Kagami would have been a better choice for both of these things no seriously this is Kagami erasure this is Kagami slander justice for Kagami.

And it really does suck, because Zoe could have been an interesting character. Her character premise was genuinely compelling. But then she just got reduced to another classmate who hangs around helping Marinette confess and to another one of Ladybug's team. All her scenes are just comparing her to Chloe and going "oh Chloe bad Zoe good." There is nothing Zoe has going on for herself. She's really just there to be a replacement for Queen Bee. And this would have been fine if the writing organically and naturally inserted her into the role by fleshing out her character and relationships with Marinette/everyone else. But she has virtually no development or character and most of her scenes are used to beat it down our skulls that Chloe is Evil and Zoe is Good, so root for Zoe, guyz!

They are so insistent on shoving the Zoe is the Good Chloe agenda down our throats that they have characters act OOC just for that. Somehow, being talked down to in front of the school doesn't make Marinette doubt Zoe in any way, shape or form. Instead, the blame is placed on Chloe for corrupting her. Andre suddenly decides to grow a spine and stop enabling his daughter, and once again Zoe is supported and praised and Chloe is condemned (I'm not saying it was wrong for Chloe to be told off, just that it coming from Andre of all people just makes it part of the problem because it's so OOC). They even had Plagg go out of his way to compliment Vesperia over Queen Bee like, five seconds after he's seen her for the first time, even though Plagg never compliments anyone so quickly or so much, not even Adrien. They had Plagg spend the whole of Deflagration kissing Zoe's feet and praising her constantly even though he would never do so while he offers to Cataclysm Chloe! He would not fucking say that.

Honestly, when it comes to others interacting with Zoe and the conversation actually being about her instead of about Marinette, it just results in more comparisons to Chloe and how Zoe is sooooooo much better than her. Even the episode focusing on Zoe and her feelings has a Chloe subplot that basically takes over the whole thing so that they can be compared.

And I am self-admittedly not a Chloe stan. I am not particularly fond of her. But I also don't like being told what to think, and I don't like how the narrative tries so hard to make us hate Chloe and like Zoe without developing either of them or letting us come to our own conclusions. Zoe isn't given anything of her own. Either she is being whatever the writers want her to be or she is being Chloe but Good or she is being Marinette's newest wingman. They could have explored so much about her. They could have fleshed out her struggles and her backstory. They could have done something with that set up in Queen Banana between Zoe and Chloe's relationship. They could have explored Zoe's new relationships (the Zoe/Lila parallels practically write themselves, as does the Adrien-Zoe friendship). They could have elaborated more on her dream of being an actress. But they didn't. They just kept comparing her to Chloe whenever anything had to do with her, and her character suffered for it.

Zoe could have been her own character in her own right, and she did not need to be bogged down by being forever labelled "Chloe's replacement," but the show didn't let her grow beyond that initial label and now it's pretty much stuck forever. Honestly, she deserved better.

Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Zoe Lee #Chloe Bourgeois #Queen Bee #Vesperia #Meta #My meta #Asks #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #Zoe Lee Salt #Zoe Salt #Classic case of good concept terrible execution

[gingergesusuphurglingelwiwi]

a realization which really clicked for me and allowed me to really reconcile all the contrasting facets of levi's character, is that his almost uncanny ability to continue, his relentless drive —which due to its unwavering nature, can be misconstrued as flawed or unfeeling — is in fact the opposite.

levi is a very passionate character, yet often wears a face of immovability, and i think its not only bc he HAS to — bc levi finds drive and purpose in service and dedicating himself to that which is bigger than his individuality and fleeting concerns — but bc what can read as impassiveness, is actually peace.

levi finds peace in being able to give meaning to those who can no longer fight for themselves, he finds peace in not soiling their memory, in maintaining gratitude for life and pouring his passion into fulfilling their fight. but levi also takes it upon himself to stay strong FOR others, FOR the fight, his composure, like almost all of his facets, is a selflessness.

it never mattered to levi WHO had passed, he was never one for scaling, levi appreciates whoever is placed in his life and takes to their spirits with equal zeal, he was ready to kill for furlan and isobel, ready to die for erwin, and ready to let go of hange in prioritizing their autonomy. and throughout, his foremost priority was an uncompromising pursuit of life, an uncompromising care for a life desired, a life true to itself - his whole mission is affording ppl freedom after all, securing them their humanity.

which is why seemingly failing the ppl in his life — e.g. erwin, kenny — makes him so angry (there's more to this tho, cant get into it w/o being shippy lol).

however, the thing, (or person lol), which really cemented my stance, is levi's last interaction with hange, you can feel him pause, you can feel the weight and history and burden of being asked to let someone he cares deeply for, sacrifice themself unchallenged, of standing unequivocally between that. But Levi recognizes his irrelevance in the equation, he recognizes Hange's sincerity, he recognizes the weight of their sacrifice, and in that is able to tell them that whatever they do, they should dedicate their heart, he's able to recognize hange's autonomy, their passion THEIR life, and what giving it means to them, and is able to find peace in knowing that hange lived as they died, fully.

he lets them die with no regrets.

levi is the personification of one's dedicated heart, he is uncompromising faith, he is unflinching support, and he is relentless sacrifice. levi is life, and he is proof of life after death, and he is, primarily, peace after death - peace in dying for having lived.

#aot spoilers #levi ackerman meta #hange zoë #ramblings #shinzou wo sasageyo #shingeki no kyojin #hange d wording made me SOB like a bb god that will never not get to me :) #aot #the finale making like NO noise in the mainstream & irl circles is so funny to me idk #have more to say but am fartbrained #this post was obligatory - i did NOT want to type #dedicate your heart #snk eruri #levi aot #levi attack on titan #captain levi #hange zoe #if this is badly written idc anymore dk what to tell you. be nice or smth idk

[mayyanglalalajabor]

Just to think that levihan dedicate your heart chapter 132 is Levi using the military oath to swore he would dedicate his heart to Hange.

Just WOW. WOW

#levihan #levihan meta #hange zoe #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot132

[lostcauses-noregrets]

I know new AoT stuff wasn't going to be anything but still an artbook wasn't what I expected. I know it was never going to be about the Ackermans but I swear Isayama should do something about them one day because they are "weakest point" storytelling-wise in AoT. Kenny Levi and Mikasa are all my favorites but also they don't make sense and always feel like something Isayama only invented to explain how they are so OP in a more grounded story where ordinary people without Titan powers are just that, ordinary people. That ask you answered recently for example. They are just... It makes zero sense. Fandom, especially Eruri fans, did so much more justice to this side of AoT compared to Isayama. Because in no world it makes sense that they just discover 2 of their soldiers are literally super soldiers and there can be more out there when they are literally threatened by intelligent titans and a mostly unknown enemy. Don't get me wrong, I love that Yams kept it mysterious which gave the fans creative freedom when it comes to Ackerman stuff. Eruri fans are so creative with it. But he still acts like Ackermans exist in their own little world. No one reacts to them, no one is interested in them unless the story has to remind us they are special (again that ask you answered about ackermans being immune). You telling me Paradis, in desperation under the threat of outside world and their intelligent titans, didn't search for possibly more Ackermans? Erwin who loves things like that never questioned Levi or Mikasa? Hange, who is a science freak and loves titan science in the first place, begged Levi or Mikasa to give them their blood sample or anything? No one tried to weaponize them? Ackermans make no sense because it feels like their story is a side story, a side quest and completely seperated from the main storyline, not because they are a mystery. THEY MAKE NO SENSE ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY

I got this ask last weekend and we've had a lot more information about Shingeki FLY since then. We now know it's going to be a 200 page art book, a "top secret final draft", and "Attack on Titan Vol. 35 which contains the newly drawn manga Bad Boy". There's been a lot of speculation about who Bad Boy refers to with many fans holding out hope that the new manga or side story will be about Levi. (Though I did laugh at the person on twitter who said it might be about Armin and Annie.). So you never know Anon, you might get your Ackerman lore yet!

Much as I would love to know more about the Ackermans, I'm not sure I agree that they're the "weakest point" storytelling-wise". I think there are much more annoying plot weaknesses, particularly whatever the hell is going on with Historia! Personally I can live with the layers of ambiguity surrounding the Ackermans, particularly because they've proved such fertile ground for fic writers, as you rightly said.

The thing about the Ackermans is that, given the king's attempts to wipe them out, it's not clear whether anyone on Paradis knew anything about them. Erwin wanted Levi for the Survey Corps as soon as he saw his strength and skill, but when he recruited Levi, he had no idea he was Ackerman, or what that meant. Levi himself only discovered he was an Ackerman at the end of the Uprising Arc. We don't know from canon whether Levi revealed his lineage to Erwin, but I'm quite sure he did. He certainly doesn't seem to have been reticent about talking about his relationship with Kenny to Mikasa and Hanji in the cart, and with Nifa on the rooftop.

But even if Erwin did know by the end of the Uprising that the Ackermans were a clan of supers soldiers, as you put it, he didn't really have a chance to exploit that information; sadly he was killed barely a couple of months later. Hanji does appear to have some knowledge of the Ackermans later in the story, but again, by that stage they were all fighting for their lives so they weren't exactly in a position to go hunting for more Ackermans to support the Alliance.

Anyway, I can understand your frustration about the lack of information about the Ackermans, and I really would love to know more about them too. However, over the years, I've made my peace with the fact that they are likely to remain a mystery.

#asks #levi ackerman #ackermans #shingeki fly #snk #levi meta #erwin smith #hanji zoe

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 40)

Hey! I played Just Dance with Zoe and then decided I was just gonna post this last part because I don't want it hanging over me. It's July and I just exercised and it's really friggin' hot and I'm sweating but I'm gonna post this so I don't forget tomorrow.

That's right, folks! Just one more part in the forty part essay special by yours truly about everyone's favorite shoujo manga couple (I speak for everyone on the planet, yes)!

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Kageki no Kuni no Alice Chapter Four

Kageki is a step-up from the last few chapters because… well, because I get to pretend like those chapters just didn’t happen. There’s a lot I don’t like about Kageki, but I like the NatsuMikan, which there is a fair amount of! And that’s what I’ll be discussing today. Hopefully that’ll lighten the mood from last time. Though! I don't have much new to say that I didn't already say in Natsume's version. I'll do my best so we can end on a high note!

Natsume and Mikan are at the Opera School in order to visit Aoi, because they do everything together. But Natsume is also being ridiculously cold to one of Aoi’s classmates, Tsubasa’s sister, for no real reason. So Mikan and Aoi both scold him for being mean. Mikan apologizes for Natsume’s sake and we get a glimpse of the fact that they both have matching promise rings. 

RINGS!!!! They're gonna get married!!!

This is pretty big because as far as we know, Mikan just got back to the Academy a few weeks ago, and only part of her memories were recovered, but somehow in that time, her romance with Natsume has rekindled enough that she once more wants to get married to him… though this rekindling occurred off-page. Sigh. 

This chapter is presented in a strange way, jumping around in time, starting with a confrontation and then rewinding. I think it’s to introduce Natsume and Mikan right away for fans so they keep reading, but it makes things jumbled up. Natsume is as handsome and popular as ever, and quickly gets the attention of the Opera Troupe girls, but this excitement is dampened by Mikan’s enthusiastic arrival because oh dang he’s taken. 

That's right!

Mikan is excited to meet Hikari, because she loves Tsubasa, and it’s funny to see her speaking for herself and Natsume (because they are an item!), much to his chagrin, loudly proclaiming their joint appreciation for Tsubasa’s care. What I like about that is that Mikan and Natsume are a unit at this point, which is what makes her feel comfortable speaking for his feelings in the first place. “I” becomes “we.”

Hikari grabs onto this, that Mikan knows Tsubasa, and tries to get more information out of her. Mikan is affected by pretty faces, as we know, and Hikari is beautiful (or handsome? Since she’s characterized by a sense of masculinity in this story but honestly I've never read this manga in its entirety so I wouldn't really know), so she gets overwhelmed and Natsume ultimately ruins the mood again by stressing to Hikari that her brother wants her to leave.

I'm so delighted we can get back to NM content that makes me feel something!

Mikan scolds him for being harsh, though he claims he’s just not interested in sugarcoating. Hikari gets depressed and Mikan is again affected, though Natsume doesn’t like that. Then Thoma arrives, and the atmosphere between him and Natsume tenses, which spurs Mikan to ask what their relationship is. It could be simple curiosity or actual jealousy, whichever. If it is jealousy, then it’s interesting to note that the both of them are a little possessive of the other. Mikan certainly doesn’t seem to mind being monopolized by Natsume, but this could suggest she’s monopolizing him too. 

Natsume starts to leave and Mikan rushes after him. That makes me think that she could have been feeling jealousy, but mostly that she is just as intent on spending as much time together as he is. He can’t leave without her when she came to spend time with him! 

They are a married couple, even if they're not married yet.

When they leave, they’re joined by Narumi, who calls Natsume kind and thus gives Mikan a new impression of what he was doing with Hikari. It’s hard to tell with Natsume, honestly, because his kindness and cruelty all look the same. When Natsume confronts Naru by asking if Hikari was dragged into the school for Thoma’s sake, Naru denies it. Then he brings up the manipulative action of scouting Mikan for the Academy, leading to their meeting and falling in love. He turns to Mikan and asks if she thinks that was a mistake, coming to the Academy and meeting everyone.

It's refreshing to go back to "everyone" again, to remember the sheer number of people Mikan loves. Her alice stone was created by the thoughts of many loved ones, after all, not just Natsume, not just Hotaru. There is not just one name written on her heart.

She must no longer hide behind everyone or we... She can initiate affection like this. Isn't that amazing?

She grabs Natsume’s hand and says “Not at all!” looking him straight in the eyes, so he knows she’s telling him, “How could I regret something that brought me to you?” This makes it personal. Yes, she's happy to have met everyone else and they are all dear, but reassuring Natsume means letting him know how much he specifically matters to her. She trusts Narumi because she’s sure he has good intentions. After all, with everything that happened on her side of things, Narumi seems to have only been helpful. This is also a callback to Narumi requesting that Mikan have faith in him, despite his recent betrayal with the letters. Mikan chose to trust him then and never stopped. Natsume seems to cave, because he's weak when it comes to her, but he admonishes Naru for being manipulative.

Natsume then tells Mikan not to hang around Naru or Hikari anymore, just a little taste of what Natsume monopolizing Mikan looks like. He obviously knows that Mikan will not listen to that, but it’s his way of communicating that he dislikes Naru manipulating her or the way she behaved around Hikari. Mikan just says “huh?” though, so his message might not have gone through the way he liked.

Chapter Five

There’s not much I can analyze in Kageki that I didn’t already mention in Natsume’s version because they spend literally all their time together. On top of that, we get little of their perspectives, and mainly see them through Hikari’s eyes. So if this is short or minimal… oops.

Hikari is being stalked and bullied by Bear, and Natsume gets annoyed that she’s not angrier with him. This is a plot thing, but I always think of Mikan and how much I love her rage and how Higuchi ultimately drained her of all of it for the sake of being a smiley girl who makes everyone happy even to her own detriment. To me, he might be saying these words to Hikari, but he’s talking to Mikan too.

We're not just talking about Hikari, are we?

Mikan and Natsume are here as loving parents to pick Bear up from school, and Mikan is more focused on gathering Bear while Natsume is scolding Hikari. When Hikari’s cousin arrives to defend her, claiming that Hikari is just incredibly disciplined with her feelings, Natsume counters that she’s really just repressing them. (SOUNDS LIKE MIKAN!) I don’t think Natsume would be as adamant about this if it didn’t connect to Mikan. Maybe this is something they talk about, or something that will soon become a conversation. In any case, Mikan doesn’t seem to take any of what he’s saying personally, so maybe it’s not getting through to her.

In any case, Natsume goes a little overboard insulting Thoma, who instantly dismisses him by telling him to go home, which he does, but not before setting a fire that Mikan rushes to put out. After that, Mikan rushes after him. Because she has to be wherever he is. It's not just Natsume monopolizing her. It goes both ways.

There’s a big to-do about Hikari and Bear and anger and acting and Tsubasa, which I won’t get into mainly because I don’t really care. All that matters is Natsume using a non-burning fire and Mikan being impressed at the control he has over his alice. Like, "Wow, my boyfriend is so cool!"

Chapter 5.5 Omake

This omake takes place after Natsume was ordered to go home, so he and Mikan are doing just that, hand in hand. Where he goes, she goes, and vice versa. A clingy couple. 

GSHDFJHJKFGHKJDFJFHJFFJFGHSJFGDSHJFHAGSHK Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

Mikan asks what’s up with Natsume’s behavior with Thoma and Narumi pops out of the blue to explain that Natsume took her absence hard and that he strayed from the right path. Mikan is happy to see Naru; Natsume isn’t. All typical. But Mikan is confused because if Natsume skipped grades, shouldn’t that mean he was a good student and worked hard? And Naru says yes, that he did work hard, but by going on missions (THAT’S A CRIME NARUMI). Mikan is instantly concerned, because she watched him die once before and doesn’t ever want to experience that loss again, so Narumi assures her that none of the missions were at all physically taxing. That doesn’t eliminate her concern, though, until Natsume messes with her a little. 

In any case, Natsume re-enrolled as a high schooler when Mikan returned, so he could capitalize on her new presence. Mikan is excited to see Shiki and Narumi again when they appear, and they offer to show her Natsume’s middle school pics which she is excited to see until Natsume pulls her away, greedily. This chapter further teases Mikan and Natsume's rings, their inevitable wedding. Additionally, we see that there's some conversations yet to be had, particularly about what Natsume has been up to without her. She obviously wants to have these discussions, since she asks questions and then is so eager to see his middle school pictures, but it seems like Natsume is content now to completely leave that era in the past now that he has his girlfriend back.

Chapter Six

Mikan and the SA class are getting ready for the Culture Fest. Natsume complains about the Opera School students coming to visit the Academy campus during such a busy time, but he’s not really doing anything, so it feels unfair for him to say. 

Mikan doesn’t seem to mind that she’s being followed by a leech, and she teases him. She doesn't need him to help. He's just there so they can be together, and if he doesn't contribute anything, then that's fine too, as long as he's around. But the teasing never ends, because they wouldn't be NatsuMikan without it. This is crucial, because their bickering was never a cover-up for anything like it sometimes is for other bickering couples. For them, the bickering was always a relief. For Natsume, he could act immature and childish with someone when he’d been forced into a far more adult role in his life. For Mikan, it’s a way for her to cheer up when she’s feeling down, because bickering with him makes them both happy. The fact that they’re now officially a couple doesn’t eliminate the bickering, it just eliminates the pretense about it.

I'm sniffling...

Chapter 11.5 Omake

This is an outtake chapter surrounding Hikari searching for inspiration for her acting in a kiss scene. Tsubasa can’t help her for some reason, even though he’s in a relationship (inexplicably, his relationship is described as “new,” even though he and Misaki have been dating for like five years at this point). Thus, she must look elsewhere for romantic inspiration. And where better than Natsume and Mikan out and eating floating soft serve ice cream together?

She gets the ice cream all over her face and, since there’s nobody around, he licks it off her. She seems to find that silly and cute and laughs as he does so, though she is blushing. Will Mikan ever stop blushing around Natsume though? I don’t think so. It’s nice though that their affection is so reciprocal now. She doesn’t even freak out, really, which implies that there’s more intimacy to this extent happening away from the reader’s prying eyes. 

This was given to us because Higuchi felt bad about what she made us go through with the wretched final chapters. I appreciate the apology, actually, but I think we all agree we could use some more apologies of this nature.

They’re interrupted and it’s only then that Mikan freaks out, embarrassed to be seen doing something so weird. Very interesting! Maybe they'll work up to PDA status later. Nobody likes a voyeur, which is what the others are right now, but getting spied on while you're kissing is a little different than typical PDA. Who knows!

Conclusion

This is my last NM conclusion as far as I know now. How cute they are in this little spin-off manga! It lifts my spirits. Hopefully, seeing them all cutesy lifted your spirits too.

Anyway, friends, I'm genuinely remorseful that the last few parts of this essay were so negative and bitter. I'm usually not one to linger on those parts of GA. My mind is firmly rooted in various AU endings so I tend to be pretty chill about my feelings, but when I have to specifically address everything, it all comes to the surface and I get a little bitter. I'm really sorry it had to be that way.

In any case, despite the bitterness towards the end, writing this essay was genuinely a blast for me. It was nice to put my feelings about this manga into words.

I started writing this essay on April 12, 2015 (which means I was sixteen at the time). I always knew the exact order I'd write this essay in, because my main motivation in analyzing GA was to present my thesis about Mikan genuinely being in love with Natsume. Back then, I'd seen one too many tumblr posts about Mikan being "obligated" to be with Natsume because he was dying or because of comphet or because Natsume scared her or silly things like that and it pissed me off. Additionally, I was bombarded with people calling Mikan a Mary Sue or disregarding her character. I remember seeing posts like that in the dark ages and thinking, "Did these people even read the manga? Do they even pay attention to Mikan?"

I'd see those posts and roll my eyes. I'd read a grossly OOC Mikan in a fic and sigh exasperatedly. I'd see people disparaging her and I'd disapprove. I'd know deep down that Mikan does love Natsume and that she's much more than people are leading on. I knew they were wrong, but I more or less left it at that.

But then I'd ask myself what exactly it was that they were missing and I'd have to confront the fact that I was thinking based on vibes and "just because" and there's no evidence in that. Was I paying much attention to her either? So one day, probably in between ranting to Zoe, I opened up a Google Doc and decided I'd do the hard work and analyze the whole fucking manga to prove my point. Besides, there was no real analysis for NM out there, so I'd take one for the team and do it. But it wasn't enough to analyze NM. There's too much going on there to leave it to one essay.

After all, most people think of anime scenes when they think of the earlier chapters, and that's not accurate, so I'd have to distinguish between the anime and the manga. But it's not enough to simply distinguish! The anime contains scenes worth discussing, since NM is pretty different there. Thus, the essay had to be divided between manga and anime. But that wasn't enough, either, because analyzing Natsume and Mikan's feelings in one essay was sure to give me a headache, which means this project had to be three parts, and Mikan had to be last. She always had to be last, my grand finale to prove that she was no Mary Sue, that her love for Natsume was built up from the beginning, and that she had depth and growth that should be appreciated.

It is now July 27, 2023 at around 11 PM. I'm now finished.

Altogether, across all three essays, I wrote about 243,240 words about NatsuMikan. Hundreds of pages in my Google Docs. This would be a huge book. And if anyone out there read all of it? You're a damn trooper. I appreciate you so much.

To all my readers, the ones who stuck with me from the beginning, or the ones who find it long after I press post on this last one, the ones who read each word, or the ones who skimmed to the analysis of their favorite scenes, I thank you. To everyone who left a comment, I thank you. To everyone who reached out to tell me their thoughts, I thank you. To @crimsoncitrus for helping me out with plenty of the translations throughout this process, thank you! To @thesightofworms, for being my favorite person to rant to about GA, I very much thank you. And to Higuchi Tachibana, I thank you. I do have beef with some of your choices, but creating manga is no small feat and you wrote 180 chapters for us to consume and I am beyond grateful that you have created something so enduring and important to me, something I have never been able to move on from.

I have loved GA since I was twelve years old and I show no signs of stopping. This is just one labor of love of many to come. I'll never shut up about this manga. Today I finish a very long project that I've had on my mind since I was a teenager. Tomorrow I'll pursue another. I can't imagine I'll ever stop coming up with projects for GA. :)

Took me long enough, but we're done now! I love you all. Have a wonderful day <3

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #ga #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #natsume hyuuga #hyuuga natsume #my meta #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: mikan #nm: m song of the day is....... #me and my husband by mitski #yet another zoe addition (when u think of mitski think of zoe <3) #what a lovely song for kageki #hope yall enjoyed reading this! i very much enjoyed writing it! #the loveliest thing would be if you had a nice time reading <3

[a-clockwork-justice]

The song Only Us works way better narratively than people give it credit for

(God it’s been forever since I’ve done a Dear Evan Hansen meta, or any meta for that matter)

Act 2 of Dear Evan Hansen starts with To Break In a Glove, with the message about doing the hard thing but right thing. It starts Evan’s downward arc towards telling the truth i.e doing the hard but right thing.

But then what do we have so shortly after? Only Us, where Zoe is all about how she doesn’t care about what came before and only wants Evan for himself. As Evan says, that’s all he could’ve ever wanted from her for the longest time.

In other words, right when the idea of telling the truth is planted in Evan’s head, along comes yet another reason NOT to tell the truth, because if he knows that if he does, he’ll lose the girl of his dreams. On top of that, Zoe was saying how what came before didn’t matter - in other words, what does it matter that he lied about being best friends with her brother who killed himself? They have a good relationship now with only each other, what does it matter how they got there?

Yet conversely, it also fuels his desire to tell the truth - during his act 2 conversation with imaginary Connor, Evan tries to convince himself that Zoe will be fine with it because she says she wants him for him and not whatever relationship or lack thereof he had with Connor.

Of course that’s not true and the entire Murphy family cuts him off the second he tells the truth, just as he and everyone else knew would happen.

But the fact that Evan and Zoe did have a real, genuine connection and a sweet and supportive relationship for a hot minute is what makes the finale so bittersweet. The connection they had was real even if it was borne of lies. Swinging back to Only Us, we get these lines from Zoe:

“I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken

I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget

Clear the slate and start over

Try to quiet the noises in your head

We can't compete with all that”

She’s speaks about leaving all the bad behind to focus on the good thing they have between them, and for a while, it works.

Sadly for her, and for everyone, sometimes the bad is just TOO bad to erase or forget. The pain that Evan’s lies have caused can’t be ignored or repaired. It’s in the lines: “I wish we could’ve met now, today, for the first time.” “Me too.”

It’s basically the weaker version of Only Us - they both wish they could clear the slate and start over and meet again for the first time … but because of all the awful things Evan has done, they just can’t. What came before DOES count and matter, and they both know it, no matter how much they try to wish it away. They can’t compete with all that.

Just … ugh, it’s things like this that make DEH so beautifully painful, and WAY smarter and better written than people give it credit for.

#dear evan hansen #only us #bandtrees #evan hansen #zoe murphy #dear evan hansen analysis #dear evan hansen meta #dear evan hansen is a good musical actually

[directlyat-thesun-moved]

on zoe and her line that went something like ”Kamala should wait to tell the world until she’s ready.”

possibly major spoilers for s2 ahead (and spoilers for the comics. and episode 6.)

In the comics, Zoe’s story went somewhat similarly to the show: she was a popular white girl who started out as kind of a bitch then ended up being one of Kamala’s biggest allies. However, Zoe’s character was also a lot more complex.

To understand what I’m about to say, you have to know what was happening in the comics at this time. Basically Kamala was fighting this AI sentient virus thing called doc.x, and it could see all of her information. It then used that to access her friend’s information, including Zoe’s.

When it saw Zoe’s things, it found love letters, written to none other than Zoe’s close friend Nakia. It told Kamala about this (she was incredibly supportive by the way, she’s a really good friend as is shown in the show) and told her that if she didn’t do something (i forget what) it would email Zoe’s letters to the entire school.

“Oh but Falcon, if Kamala was such a good friend, why didn’t she do the thing that the Doc.x virus wanted her to?” She couldn’t. If I remember right, Doc.x wanted her to give up, and she wasn’t going to do that.

So instead, she went to talk to Zoe, who completely understood, but obviously was also mortified that Kamala knew and terrified that soon, so would all of Coles Academic High School, including, of course, Nakia.

Being the good friend that she was, Zoe confessed everything to Nakia, who was very understanding but didn’t reciprocate Zoe’s feelings. However, the letters were still sent out and Zoe was outed as a lesbian against her will to the entire school.

When 19999 Zoe says that Kamala should be allowed to keep her identity private, and to Nakia nonetheless, that’s foreshadowing for what I’m sure will happen soon.

#zoe zimmer #ms marvel #kamala khan #nakia bahadir #marvel #mcu #marvel comics #mcu meta #marvel meta #ms marvel tv show #ms marvel spoilers #ms marvel tv #ms marvel meta #marvel mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel theories #mcu theory #hunter hollers

[strideofpride]

If Gossip Girl is a show where everybody becomes their parents, then Hart of Dixie is a show where nobody becomes their parents.

Zoe chooses to stay in Bluebell and raise her baby with its father rather than running back to New York.

George chooses to fight for the little guy and follow his true passions, rather than sell out and devote his life to corporations that will never love him back.

When Lemon grows unhappy with her life, she doesn’t run away, she stays and works to give herself the life she wants with the help of her loved ones.

When Wade’s heart gets broken, he doesn’t retreat and become a shell of himself, he works hard to better himself instead.

Lavon learns that you have to be open and honest about how you’re feeling, that bottling things up only leads to more heartache down the road.

And AB learns that you can’t force things to happen, you have to let life surprise you with the unexpected.

#hart of dixie #zoe hart #george tucker #lemon breeland #wade kinsella #annabeth nass #hod meta #hod

[lesbian-kyoru]

arata is super interesting because at first he has shifts in disposition that feel almost inconsistent—he can be super sweet and earnest, cold and withdrawn, fiery and competitive, lots of juxtaposed traits etc etc—but all these facets of his personality simply stem from the traumas and experiences he’s been through 1) before the start of chihayafuru and 2) during the story. 

in his first appearance, arata is already established as shy and guarded around new people, which is only reinforced by being bullied by his classmates at his new school. not only has he internalized that karuta is the one thing he is good at in life, and it’s the only thing where his dream (and NEED) is to be the best—but besides the obvious connection to his grandfather’s expectations, a subset of this is that his grandfather tells him that he can make friends playing karuta. unfortunately, as soon as arata moves he’s bullied for literally everything, and excelling at karuta only further alienates him from his peers.

this pattern continues throughout his adolescence, even after he’s made a life long connection with chihaya and taichi: karuta alienating him from others when it was supposed to bring him friendship and connection. along with the trauma of watching his grandpa die (+ arguably blaming himself for his death) and the following grief, it’s honestly not surprising that arata becomes isolated, emotionally closed-off, and at times cold or insensitive. those experiences would harden anyone, especially a sixteen-year-old. he was treated like an outcast as a child, lost touch with his friends due to distance, and struggled to find community within his passion that’s often incredibly lonely. all of these factors make arata emotionally guarded. he’s quick and impulsive to lash out because he doesn’t feel safe and comfortable until he trusts people. 

even though arata is so kind at heart and really earnest with people he knows well (i.e. chihaya and taichi), just like many characters his experiences and subsequent insecurities/fears haven’t left him unaffected—and i love that we see that thread of his development come up so early on.

#chihayafuru #wataya arata #chihayafuru meta #a bit rambley but i am determined to get these reading thoughts out of notes app and onto tumblr forever hehehe #oh and when i mention moments where hes cold or insensitive im thinking of scenes where he just acts Weird around taichi #or sometimes with chihaya #like i see ppl use those scenes to argue hes this rude or callous person but idk i think you have to step back and consider #1 arata is SUPER socially awkward and 2 well ok if you had been through what arata has dont you think you'd be a lil unfriendly too! #a lot of scenes where ppl think arata is being shady to taichi im like On God i dont always think he realizes hes doing it taichi is just #taking it SUUUUUUPER personally because taichi is himself sdljfhsdlfs #just some additional context to that thought.....would love to expand on this later but this is just off the early chapters #zoe rereads #zoe.txt