Listen, you don’t just say “I don’t hate you and never have…” and then do everything that you’ve done since. You’ve ignored me when I was just hoping to explain. You’ve villainized me to everyone. You’ve…just…the list goes on and it would take forever to go through it all.
Don’t worry, I’ll be deleting that story soon too, the one I wrote for your birthday…the one that took me months to get right…the one that is on track to be my most kudoed fic because so many people in the fandom actually seemed to enjoy it. The thing is, though, that I didn’t write it for them. I wrote it for you and you tore my effing heart out and stomped all over it and you continue to do that every single day and you just don’t understand. You never will. How could you? This was what you’d always wanted.
You’ll never see this. Even if by some miracle this gets back to you, it’s not like you’d care. Your actions have spoken louder than your words, so yes…you do hate me. I hope you’re happy.
To those who might want to read the story, here’s a link. Very soon this story will be deleted. Not orphaned. DELETED. Gone forever. Enjoy it while you can, if you want.
how much have you changed? do you smell different? do you recognize yourself now? do you still stand in the shower questioning why you’re here? Is the person you’ve become after me a good person? do you open the car door for her like you used to for me? do you still cook? can you eat pasta now without thinking of me? can you listen to the songs we used to scream in the car now without feeling anything? are you eating enough? are you taking your medication again? are you still scared? do you have the same dreams? do you have the same nightmares?
are you happier now? was I weighing you down? I hope you’re doing good - I hope you’re truly smiling now
One of my favorite things is when you almost skip a story for whatever reason, but you change your mind and read it, just for that story to then become one of the best things you’ve ever read
it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
An underrated aspect of drawing 919 I forgot to mention in my last post: have you ever wondered why I have a tendency sometimes to draw the Wunsoc sweaters as somewhat large and baggy? I think it’s fun to imagine that they might grow into them, just as they’ll “grow into” their role in the Society :)