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#you would think after a summer of driving every day - years of practicing on and off - and two professional lessons in my anxiety would
good-beans · 3 months
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My Everyday
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Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate. 
Word count: 5.5k
Warnings: Minor injury, idiots in love <3, some angst, pining
a/n: My first fic in a century!! Thank you so much for reading if you’re still here. Depending on how this does I hope I’ll have motivation to write more! College athlete Bucky never fails to get me inspired :)
Masterlist
~~
“What’s this punks name again?” 
The breath you let out was long and excruciating. “I am not repeating myself.” 
“C’mon, y/n,” Bucky whined, knocking his head back on the couch. He watched you bustle around the kitchen from his inverted vantage point. “How the hell am I supposed to swoop in and save the day if I don’t even know the kid’s name?” 
“Okay, well, first of all—” the fridge door clicked shut with a swift motion of your hips “—he’s not a ‘kid’. I’m pretty sure he’s a few months older than you.” 
“Semantics.” 
“And second of all,” you stressed, pointing a butter knife in his direction. “There will be no ‘swooping in’. I’m going to have a nice date and you are going to go hang out with your puck rabbits or whatever they're called. There will be no thinking about me and no swooping in my vicinity.” 
Bucky rolled his eyes, kicking up from the couch and rounding the kitchen counter to pick at your sandwich. You knocked his hand away several times, but you both knew it was futile. In the months you’d been living with the hockey player—who was far too big for the small, shoebox of an apartment you leased—you’d learned that food was non-negotiable for Bucky Barnes. 
There were many other things you’d learned about him as well. He sang in the shower, but only when he thought you weren’t home. He had an annoying penchant for using your $30 lotion—again, when he thought you weren’t home. And he loved to throw his massive, smelly gear just about anywhere it would land right when he got home from every practice. 
He didn’t really care if you were home for that last one. 
Bucky was the last person you thought you would be rooming with when you posted that ad last summer. A small, quaint room previously occupied by your now engaged (and traitorous) best friend, you assumed someone like-minded to yourself would have taken you up on your offer. The price point wasn’t egregious and the building was relatively close to campus. 
But weeks ticked by, and you started getting desperate. Your landlord wasn’t a nice lady, something you were positive she took pride in, and she decided that a rent increase was the perfect way to ring in the new school year. You were on the verge of destitution, and as it so happened, the only other person as desperate as you was the starting center for your college’s hockey team. 
You hardly got along. It had taken weeks for your eye to stop twitching every time he tumbled through the front door at three in the morning, and even longer for you not to feel an infuriating aggravation at his random, nighttime smoothies. You supposed he probably felt the same about your cleanliness rules and your incessant reminders about trash days. Because Bucky was in charge of bringing the trash down those long, apartment steps. Not you. 
But you’d be lying if you said things hadn’t gotten easier as of late. Conversation flowed more smoothly, things that made you seethe before were only mildly annoying, and Bucky was being… considerate? You weren’t quite sure what to call the random cups of coffee he brought home on occasion. Or his sudden urge to warm up your car when he had a morning class before yours. 
There was also the case of that party last weekend. A frat party with far too many drunk men and not enough common sense, you had had the urge to leave the second you got there. But Wanda had dragged you along for the sole purpose of driving her home after she got hammered, so you were essentially stuck. 
It was fine at first. Hot and crowded and loud, but fine. You kept a general eye on Wanda and scrolled aimlessly on your phone in the armchair you claimed. And then it wasn’t fine, because a man twice your size was encroaching on your space and unrelenting. 
“What kinda girl comes to a party and doesn’t even wanna talk to anyone?” 
“You want to come up to my room and watch a movie or something?” 
“Hey, I’m talking to you, bitch.” 
You weren’t even aware that Bucky had been at that party. It wasn’t surprising—the line between fraternities and sports was blurred at your college—but the space he took up as he intercepted the man in front of you was.
~~
“There a problem here?” Bucky posed, crossing his arms over his chest, his presence looming above your seated position. His weight shifted to his toes.
The man didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, you. Move.” 
“Wanna fucking tell me what to do again?” 
“Fuck you, man.” 
A harsh shove to Bucky’s chest was all it took for a right hook to echo in the living room of the frat house. There was chaos. Grunts and screams from the drunk people surrounding the unnecessary fight created a cacophony of unpleasant sounds that seemed to get the attention of someone in charge. The man—Brian, you had now learned based on screams—was pulled back from Bucky and getting chewed out by some president or manager of something. 
And Bucky was seething, chest rising and falling laboriously as he wiped at the new bruise forming on his face.
Fights were not uncommon. But this one had been about you. For you.
“Bucky?” you asked when the crowd calmed and Brian was no longer in the room. 
You watched his back release its tight coil. He turned. “Are you okay?” 
The words were almost lost in the noise of the crowd, but he was close enough that they created a tactile vibration across your skin. His pupils were dilated and he looked so disheveled it would have been charming if there wasn’t also a cut forming on his brow. 
“Y/n.” 
It took you a moment to realize that you hadn’t answered him. Your response fell out of you as if you’d been shoved. “I’m—I’m fine.” 
He grunted, but it was more of a puff of air. “The fuck was that guy?” 
“I don’t know,” you replied, realizing by the way you swayed that you had stood up at some point. “He just—” 
“We’re going home.” 
“What? I can’t, I’m here with Wanda. I’m driving her, Bucky, I can’t just leave.” 
He grabbed your wrist, the grip achingly soft compared to the blows he was landing minutes before. “She left with that British guy she’s been on and off with. Asked me to tell you.” 
That explained his random appearance. Your brows pinched as you took in the information, eyes cast down to the angry red marks marring Bucky’s knuckles. He’d been in fights before. So many fights. On the ice. 
This was different. 
“I haven’t been drinking—I can drive myself home. You don’t have to leave,” you shouted over the music now bumping in the room. 
He didn’t respond, not verbally. He pulled you to his front instead, leading you through the impossible crowd until cool night air began melting into your skin. His silence was strange. Bucky’s favorite activity was talking your ear off until you told him to shut up, but right now… nothing. Even his earlier words had been clipped. 
You felt responsible for easing the tension in the air as Bucky continued to guide you to your car. You hadn’t told him where you parked, but he seemed to know the exact location anyways.
“You really don’t have to leave with me,” you mumbled. “It wasn’t a big deal or anything.” 
“It was a big deal.” 
~~
The drive home had been silent. The walk to the door had been as well. Bucky spent a few minutes appraising you in the overhead light of the living room when you got inside, but after that there was nothing. He went to his room and you went to yours. 
There was no discussion about it the morning after, either. Bucky apparently wanted to pretend nothing ever happened, so you respected that. Even now, you ignored the fading cuts on his hands as he shoveled food into his mouth.
Bucky’s next words were muffled by a mouthful of bread. “Well where’s this dude taking you at least?”
“Ice skating.”
The cough and sudden exasperation was very expected out of the man next to you, Bucky’s next words hardly containing syllables. “Huh?” 
“We’re going ice skating,” you reiterated. You picked up your lunch and headed for the living room, ignoring the slightly heaviness in your chest. “It’s winter and ice skating is festive. The rink on campus has decorations.” 
“Without me? Y/n, you’re gonna let some guy who probably doesn’t even know how to skate—” 
“Bucky—” you attempted to interrupt. 
“—drag you around the rink like a rag doll?” he continued, holding his hand up to mute your incoming speech. “I’ve asked you to come by the rink, like, a ton of times. You’ve never shown any interest.” 
You rolled your eyes and shot him a cross look as he picked your feet up from where they rested on the couch and dropped them into his lap. He went on with his rant for a little while longer, knocking his head back against cushions and accusing you of being a bad roommate. You had a few rebuttals of your own, but there was a reason you had never accompanied him to the rink. 
A good reason. 
You didn’t date athletes. 
It was true that simply going to visit Bucky at a practice, or letting him be the one to drag you around the ice like a rag doll, wouldn’t mean you were in a relationship by any means. But it would be an extra step. And if you were being honest with yourself, it would only take a few of those extra steps for the irritation you felt towards Bucky to melt into something else. 
And you didn’t date athletes. 
You did not. 
You didn’t have the time, nor the patience, to put up with the cheating, the anger issues, or the crazy schedules. And there wasn’t a single athlete you’d met at your sport-centered university that was willing to compromise on any of those subjects. Especially the cheating. You’d learned that the hard way after dating a lacrosse player for approximately one month before receiving the dreaded DM from a girl you had never met. 
The man hadn’t even given you the courtesy of pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about. He just admitted to his wrong-doing and shrugged. Shrugged. 
So athletes were not exactly in your good graces when it came to dating. 
“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky cut through your thoughts, patting your shin in impatience. 
You blinked and reoriented yourself, focusing on the hairs that fanned across Bucky’s face. “Of course I am,” you lied. “But my answer is still the same. I’m going on my date and you are not going on my date.” 
He groaned, apparently giving up as he cradled your legs closer to him to lean over and grab the remote from the coffee table. He flipped the channel to ESPN—typical—and you ate your sandwich, silently cursing him. He had a TV in his room. 
“When is it?” he suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had knitted itself into a comfortable blanket over the room. 
“Tonight,” you answered plainly. 
The arms atop your legs tensed. 
~~
The dichotomy of the man sitting beside you was impressive. On one hand, he was so full of himself that he had missed almost all of your conversation starters due to being so transfixed by his reflection in the rink’s glass. He had yet to ask you a single question about yourself and had insisted that the four other girls skating tonight were in love with him. 
On the other hand, he was, quite possibly, the most uninteresting person you had ever met. You were usually very quick to laugh, but every word out of his mouth was almost painful. He wouldn’t stop talking about his ex-girlfriend, gave you one word answers about anything other than baseball, and was honestly really terribly at ice skating. You were no pro either, but you found yourself on your back every time he tried holding your hand.
The tumble five minutes ago had you seeking out the penalty box on the side of the rink. You needed a break, you had told him, hoping he would continue on making a fool of himself and give you a moment alone. But he followed you instead, and was now sitting beside you, talking about baseball.
You supposed that was better than making you fall while talking about baseball.
“I bet we could do that,” he remarked, pointing out onto the ice and catching your attention. A couple who clearly had more experience than you was twirling each other around. “We definitely could. I pick up good speed.” You cringed. “I really don’t think we should try, Sean. My tailbone is already pretty bruised.” 
“Oh, c’mon! I won’t try the throwing part, just the twisty stuff.” 
“We are literally on rental skates. You will kill me,” you deadpanned. You were tired at this point and seriously questioning why you thought ice skating was a good first date idea. 
Well, there actually was an answer for that. But you were not going to think about the hockey player that popped into your head when Sean asked you on a date in the dining hall last week. 
Definitely not. 
“I’m not going to let my date think I’m boring,” Sean groaned, yanking you up from your seat. 
You gave a few tugs and words of resistance but they were ultimately useless. You figured it would be just as useless to tell the guy you already thought he was boring. He probably wouldn’t even hear you. 
On unsteady skates, Sean guided you to a mostly cleared corner of the rink and gripped your forearms. He squinted as he surveyed the area, the corner of his mouth turning up in a way that made your stomach roll. This entire date had been a bad idea.
“Maybe we should just watch them do it,” you tried, words wavering. 
“No!” he grinned. “No, we got this. It’s gonna look so cool.” 
And then you were spinning. You’d never been spun against your will before, but it sucked. Your skates kept getting stuck in the divots in the ice and the grip on your forearms was close to bruising. You were starting to get dizzy and Sean showed no signs of caring. God, he really was dragging you around the rink like a rag doll. Bucky was going to get a kick out of this.
“Okay, ready?” Sean called, an unwarranted jubilation in his tone. 
“What?” you yelled. 
He didn’t answer you. Instead, he let go, and you went flying in another direction without a clear path. It only lasted a moment, but the sound of your head smacking onto the ice signified the end of that movement. You landed on your arm next, and then your back. Again. 
This time felt different though. Your head was spinning and there were muted pinpricks trailing up to your wrist. The ache there was dulled compared to the biting iciness in your back, but as soon as you tried leaning on it to get up, it became sharp.
“Oh shit!” came Sean’s laughter-filled gasp. “My bad. I really didn’t mean to let go.” 
You blinked a few times to clear the blurriness from your vision but it proved unhelpful. “I think… I think my arm’s broken.” 
“Wait, seriously?” he asked, wobbling down to a seat beside you. 
“Yeah, it’s—”
“Everything okay over here?” a voice interrupted. You tried blinking again to take in the man that towered over the two of you, but the lights overhead washed him out. 
You recognized him…maybe? You felt like you were going to throw up. 
Sean answered for you. “Yeah, man, we’re fine. She just fell.” 
“Y/n, are you okay?” the man asked, ignoring your date completely.
“Do I know you?” you slurred.
You thought you heard a curse. “What made you think throwing her around was a good idea?” 
“Dude, it wasn’t even that fast. Or my fault. She just couldn’t keep her feet under her.” 
“Well, dude, maybe you should go home.” 
Sean scoffed. “Right, and who’s going to take this one home?” 
Your head was starting to hurt with all of the back and forth. The man that just joined, the taller one, kneeled down beside you. His blonde hair cast a harsh glare that had you squinting again. 
“You want me to call Bucky?” he asked.
Bucky? How would he know Bucky? Blonde hair began morphing into a man in your memory, and you reached for the material of his shirt, looping it between your fingers.
“Steve Rogers?” you mumbled. 
The man, now identified as Steve, sighed. “I’m calling him. Go home, Sean. Her roommate is coming to get her.” 
There was more discussion, something about Steve having the authority to kick him out and Sean not understanding what all of the fuss was about. Steve warned him about something and Sean scoffed as if the situation was beneath him. And then he left. 
Steve was then in your line of sight again, brows pinched together and a bright orange vest covering his shoulders. His hands hovered in front of you as if you’d break if he touched you and you almost found it funny. Steve was a huge guy with a lot of authority on Bucky’s team, but right now he looked like a scared animal. 
“Why are you dressed like a construction worker?” you asked. 
A small smile graced his face. “I’m working at the rink today. Everyone on the team has to take shifts during the holidays.” 
“Hmm,” you hummed. “I think my arm is broken.” 
“I know. I’m pretty sure you have a concussion too. Let’s get you off the ice, yeah?” 
You tried to nod, but that hurt too much so you let Steve assist you in shakily standing up. He guided you to the seats by the rental skate counter with a soft but sure hand on your back, asking some guy named Antonio for an ice pack. Everything around you felt like a fever dream. 
Gentle touches rolled the sleeve of your sweater back to reveal a swollen wrist that Steve immediately covered with an ice pack. 
He cursed again. “Well he’s gonna be pissed.” 
“Who?” Your head swayed with the question. 
Steve looked up to meet your gaze, lips parting to answer, when he was replaced by a different face. Your brain was having trouble keeping up with everything, obviously, because Bucky was in front of you now. He was kneeling between your legs with his hands on your face and you had no idea where Steve went. 
“What the fuck?” you blurted out. 
“Hey, y/n.” Bucky spoke your name low and soothing, his fingers moving to your eyes where he pried them open one at a time and looked for something you couldn’t see. His next words were directed over his shoulder. “Maybe a concussion. Tell me what happened again?” 
“Sean Marcus was being an ass. Flung her all over the place,” Steve replied. 
“Why are you here?” you interjected, trying to focus on one thing at a time. “I told you not to come on my date.” 
Bucky moved his assessment to your arm next, shifting the ice pack. “Never really agreed to those terms.” 
He turned back to Steve after that, having another discussion that you barely understood. Bucky absentmindedly fiddled with the material of your jeans as he spoke, and you put all of your energy into not face planting on the ground. This past week had truly been a series of terrible events with terrible men. 
After some amount of time elapsed, you were walking to the parking lot with a jacket thrown over your shoulders and Bucky continuously jutting a hand out each time you took a step. He was very well versed in concussions, apparently. 
“Okay, in you go, killer,” Bucky prompted, opening the passenger door. 
You eyed the front seat, scrunching your face up. “My arm hurts.” 
The man in front of you seemed to soften, his shoulders dropping on a long exhale. “I know, sweetheart. But we gotta go to the hospital to fix that. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“I should just call Wanda. Or Nat. You don’t have to be the one to take me.” 
“I can take you just fine.”
“Why do you want to you? Aren’t you busy?” 
Another long sigh, this one accompanied by hands on your shoulders, fingers at the base of your neck. “Get in the car.”
His eyes were boring into yours, searching for something, or maybe already finding it there. You still had your arm cradled to your chest and you titled your head to the side as you observed him. There was something else to his gaze that you couldn’t quite describe. It reminded you of his expression after he came home from a rough game. Angry. Discontent. 
“You’re being weird,” you commented, breaking the silence you had created. 
“You broke your arm and smacked your head on the ice,” he simply replied, as if the statement was an explanation. 
“Yeah, but—” 
“And then that douchebag did nothing about it,” Bucky interrupted. “So please, y/n, get in the car so I can help you before I find him and kick his ass. Because you know I’m not above fighting people.” 
You blinked, and then slid into the front seat. 
The drive was quiet. You’d never been in Bucky’s car before, but the spinning in your head didn’t give you much space to inspect it too closely. You caught hockey gear in the back, a keycard to the rink dangling off the rearview mirror, and a small collection of hair ties in one of the cupholders. One caught your attention.
“Hey, this one’s mine.” You picked up the purple band and rolled it between your fingers. “Thief.” 
Bucky snatched it back. “Mine now.” 
He made a sharp turn that had you sucking air between your teeth and repositioning your arm. Bucky sent you a quick, achingly apologetic look. 
“Sorry, almost there.” A long beat of silence and then a mumbled, “I should keep your hair tie. You won’t be able to do your hair alone with a broken arm anyway.” 
~~
Your wrist was fractured, not broken. You also only had a minor concussion. This was all great news to you, especially since they told you after administering a hefty amount pain reliever. To Bucky, this was apparently terrible, life-altering news. 
After practically body slamming into the front door of your apartment, he chucked his wallet and keys down on the kitchen counter and began grumbling to himself as he opened and closed kitchen cabinets. You watched from a distance, half amused, half concerned for the rusting hinges. He finally found what he was looking for—a cup—and continued to mutter to himself as he filled it with gatorade. 
“Are you… okay?” you asked tentatively. 
Bucky ripped the freezer open and manhandled three to four ice cubes. “I’m fine. You are not.” 
“I’m okay now,” you assured. Bucky stalked over to you anyways, pressing the sports drink into your hand that was not wrapped in a cast.
You looked down at the glass and sent him a baffled look. He nodded at it and raised his brows, a silent demand for you to drink. 
“Okay. And why do I need to drink gatorade?” Your words were slow. 
“You were just on the ice and haven’t had any water for at least three hours.” 
“Bucky,” you began. “I was ice skating recreationally for about thirty minutes. I don’t need to replenish my electrolytes.” 
“Will you just… will you just drink the damn drink?” he groaned, gesturing to it with a firm hand. “Jesus, I can’t take care of you when you go and get yourself hurt by idiots. So just let me do what I know I can do, alright?” 
“You don’t have to take care of me.” You were beginning to raise your voice, matching some of the frustration in the room. 
Bucky threw his hands in the air, tugging at his roots on the way down. He moved further into the kitchen and leaned against the counter with stiff, rod-like arms propping him up. And then he sighed, long and profound as if this was the hardest conversation he’d had all year. His head hung heavy between stiff shoulders and you felt the environment shift. 
You almost wanted to intervene on his thoughts again, to make some comment about the dishes in the dishwasher or pretend you were going to go take a nap. But he had something to say, something you needed to hear, and so you stayed. You blinked and clenched your fist in the uncomfortable silence, but you stayed. 
“Y/n, I want to take care of you,” Bucky breathed out, words still directed toward the floor, almost too low to make out. “I’ve been tryna get you to see that for weeks now, but you’ve either got no clue or you want absolutely nothing to do with me.” 
You stopped blinking, stopped fidgeting, stopped breathing altogether. You watched as Bucky drummed his fingers against the counter and still refused to look up. You swallowed hard because you weren’t clueless, but also because you wanted everything to do with Bucky Barnes. 
And nothing at the same time. 
“Bucky…” you began, with a tone of surprise you weren’t sure was believable.
“Don’t do it yet,” he stopped you. “Don’t…don’t tell me no yet. I’m still pissed as hell that you got hurt and you shouldn’t be alone with a concussion. I don’t need you avoiding me when you can’t even drive a car.” 
“You’re being presumptuous.” 
He snapped his head up, his eyes rushing back and forth between your own. The drumming on the counter ceased, instead replaced by balled up fists turning white under days old cuts and fading bruises. He didn’t say anything. You searched the empty air for a reply. 
“I wouldn’t avoid you. I don’t know if I could avoid you—not anymore. You’re sort of a big part of my life now.” A good start, you thought. Not a real answer, but not a rejection. 
Bucky bit the inside of his cheek and eyed the drink still perspiring in your hand. You set it down at his observance, moving closer to his slumped posture in the kitchen. 
But Bucky stood up straight at your movement, becoming guarded, stiff. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Bad timing, just forget it. You should try and get some sleep.” 
“I don’t want to forget it,” you softly spoke, shaking your head.
He clenched his jaw. “And I don’t want to hear that you don’t feel the same way about me that I feel about you. Not right now. I feel like I’m going insane, watching you go out on dates and having my best friend tell me that my girl—that’s not really my girl—is all banged up on the ice because of some asshole.” 
You opened your mouth to speak, but Bucky kept going, now pacing in the kitchen. “I mean, y/n, you’re my everyday. I wake up and you’re making coffee. You text me in class to ask what I need at the grocery store and then I call you after practice to make sure you got back to the apartment. I think about you so god damn much and I can’t believe there was a time in my life that I didn’t get to end my day in a home that has you. And you’re just my roommate. You want nothing to do with athletes, I get it—” he added, catching your eye in the middle of his rant, “—but, shit, I haven’t even looked at another girl since… well it doesn’t even matter.”
“Tell me,” you whispered. There were a million other things you could’ve said, a million explanations that would have made sense. But the two soft words stopped Bucky from tracking holes in the ground. They shoved him from his shallow breaths and made him look at you. 
And, god, did he look at you. You must have been worse for wear. A hospital visit mixed with one too many tumbles onto solid ice probably had your hair in disarray and your face pressed with exhaustion, but his gaze was revering. Candy-coated red with soft blues melting below brows that fluxed with the movement of his lips; Bucky was beautiful, and he was looking at you as if you matched.
His tone confirmed as much, light and saccharin as he said, “That dumb movie a few weeks ago, the one about the superheroes. Your friends wouldn’t watch it with you so you made me. You were so excited even though it was awful and you were out like a light within the first hour. You rolled over onto me and I wasn’t gonna wake you up so I sorta just held you.” 
He paused, trailing his eyes up to the light fixtures. “At the risk of sounding pathetic, it felt like I had you, you know? Like we were going through all our usual motions, but after I annoyed the hell out of you and you told me off, you were mine. I can’t… I can’t really picture that with another girl.” 
There were very few times you had considered yourself speechless. But with Bucky Barnes standing in front of you, red-faced and vulnerable and still wearing the stupid hospital nametag they made him put on in the waiting room, you had no words. There was none of the arrogance you usually associated with him, no short-temper or pestering taunts. It was just Bucky, and he was pouring his heart onto the kitchen floor. For you. 
“You get why you can’t tell me no just yet?” he asked, trying to get something out of you. Anything. “You can break my heart, but let me just make sure you’re okay first. And I can’t beat the shit out of Sean if we aren’t on speaking terms.” 
The laugh that left you was one of disbelief, but the breathiness and accompanying tears fit the heaviness of the room. Your glossy eyes met Bucky’s and something flashed on his face, but it was soon out of your line of sight because you were kissing him. You were kissing him hard and your bodies were too close for the cast between you but it didn’t matter. 
He didn’t respond at first, hand hovering at your back. But then he did and the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor was gone from your bare feet. He sat you on the counter, so gently, as if you were glass, and you let your hand brush against the cracks and divots of your home. The one that Bucky came back to every night to see you. 
The one that had housed so many nights of confusion and longing and denial.
The one that had Bucky kissing the life out of you on the kitchen counter. 
He pulled away first, forehead pressed to yours. “Didn’t think I’d ever get to do that.” 
“You can do it again.” 
“Oh, I will, baby.” 
Laughter met in the air between you—sweet, short, intertwined. There was so much you wanted to tell him, so many instances like the one he shared before where you were left questioning boundaries and feelings and lines. But, you figured, there would be so many opportunities to tell him. So much time together. 
“I texted Wanda that night,” you shared, interrupting the kisses he was pressing to your cheek. “After I woke up and you had taken me back to my room.” 
He smiled against your skin. “What’d you say?” 
“I told her I was an idiot—that I was falling for the enemy.” 
Bucky ran a soft hand along the back of your head, a smirk lighting up his face. He was slotted between your legs and kept his other hand firmly pressed onto the kitchen counter, caging you in, making sure your arm didn’t hit the cabinets. 
“And is that true?” 
“I don’t know,” you hummed, connecting your foreheads once again, wanting to stay impossibly close. “Try to cure my broken bone with gatorade again and we’ll see.”
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dev1lm4n · 11 months
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moth to flame
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ko-fi | series masterlist
pairing: porn star!joel miller x f!reader
summary: you're pining over wicked fantasies or who you recently discovered to be mr. miller, even when it's indubitably wrong.
word count: 3.9k
warnings: explicit (18+), pre-apocalypse, accidental voyeurism, masturbation, age gap (joel's in his mid 30's and reader is in her early 20's), reader is an exchange student but nationality is not mentioned
notes: set in 2013. do reblog or comment if u enjoyed it!
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Turbulent wind pushed on the pickup truck to no avail. That, paired with the soothing rhythmic grunt of the ignition created a perfect moody atmosphere. It was the peak of summer; yet somehow, for whatever reason, Austin was looking awfully somber. Gray and bland like the taste of soaked cereals. Sarah was bound to return to school despite the hefty weekends she’s spent with the newest addition to the Millers, and she didn’t like it at all. She’s making it real obvious too for everyone. Cheeks puffed up like she is five and always a loud thump following her every move.
She landed her dad’s coffee on the table with a loud thump. She stormed back into her room with a louder thump. She swung the pickup truck’s door with the loudest thump you’ve ever heard, before making her way over to the school’s gate. Her small pout remained on her face despite your cheerful wave and words of encouragement from behind the rolled window.
She’s a cute kid, you decided. 
You’re sure things would link perfectly between you and your host family if it weren’t for the fact that you practically avoided Mr. Miller like he’s the goddamn plague. Everytime you slipped out of your room, you had to make sure he wasn’t in a five meter proximity. You’d rather be dehydrated and starved than to meet him after his day-time job (which you’ve recently learned was a contracting gig), lingering around the kitchen with a stale sandwich up his mouth. Similarly, you treated Sarah as a trusty messenger for every message you had for her dad. Whether it’s a leaky sink or a hefty request to drop you off at your college.
It’s a genuine miracle Sarah never questioned you on your abnormal behavior, nor did Mr. Miller. Was this your streak of luck?
You tucked your phone back in your pocket after a quick run through your texts, eyes focused back towards what laid ahead of you. Mr. Miller’s broad shoulders stretched across the length of the car’s cushioned seat, moving with a steady pulse at every breath of air he claimed. Your careful eyes watched over the seams of his shirt; the correct side up after Sarah’s clever remark earlier that morning. Slowly, you traced along the nape of his neck with your bare eyes. Further and further, right until you could finally spot the dark brown strands tangled in with hints of gray. It looked soft.. much like how it appeared to be on his videos. You wondered how it’d feel like to run your hands over it, feel it through the ridges of your knuckles, and pull on‒
“Hey, you listenin’ to me?”
The man’s baritone voice penetrated the thick silence and you were left aghast. Soul sucked out of your body as your eyes flickered towards the rearview mirror, eventually catching the small smile playing on his dangerously charming face. He’d be the end of you that’s for sure. This was a bad idea, asking him to drive you to college just because taxi rates are crazy high this time of the year, leaving the two of you alone. Alone and hidden under the privacy of his truck, you were fucked through and through. You just hoped he wasn’t clever enough to somehow figure out your utterly shameful thoughts.
“Sorry.. um.. I was thinking of something. What were you saying, Mr. Miller?”
Yeah, that’s right. You were thinking of how nice his hair would feel when you’re gripping on it for dear life, but he didn’t have to know that.
“No worries, kiddo. Just.. I have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?”
At the last syllable he uttered, you were already rigid. Parched, feeling like your tongue magically turned into sandpaper; you’d always consider yourself to be an excellent debater at all parts of life, but his lone question left you high and dry. Your eyes darted back onto the rearview mirror and instead of his candid expression, you were met with his scintillating gaze. Curious and prodding into the deepest part of your head. It enthralled you, encouraged you to say the truth.
“You’re always scurrying off when I’m around,” he gave a thought to what he’s about to say. “I get that Sarah is friendlier and a lot more relatable to talk to. Talkin’ to an old man isn’t exactly preferable, is it?”
He let out a polite set of laughter, which was met by a deafening silence. You crumpled under the tension. Awkward and wanting nothing more than to escape the car like some fugitive in handcuffs. Killing Me Softly With His Song by Fugees continued to play faintly in the background, once again becoming a fitting ringtone for your impending response.
“No,” you denied slowly. Effectively lying, but it was as obvious as a kid trying to pocket candies from the cash register. “It’s not you. It’s me.”
His expression eventually twisted into one of mirth; brows quirked with interest, a tight smile edged to unfold. He’s probably finding the telenovela-inspired reply hilarious, but the man’s polite enough to store all his witty comments in the back of his head.
“What I mean is,” you paused to inhale deeply. What were you even supposed to say? You used to watch all his explicit videos and therefore you couldn't look him in the eye without getting reminded of every single scene? Lying has never been your forte, but the other option was far too humiliating. Even for you. “I’m naturally awkward, Mr. Miller. I.. I feel embarrassed when approaching you. Feels like I’m bothering you or something.”
That was half a lie. A white lie, you’d conclude.
“Oh sweetheart, you never bother me.”
The way he said that nickname had you sweating buckets. Seconds away from throwing up your entire breakfast menu out of sheer nervousness. You knew he meant it in a platonic familial-bond type of way, but God did it remind you of what he calls all his pretty co-stars.
“You and Sarah are my number one priority now. You know that, right?”
“Right. Thanks, Mr. Miller.”
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“I’m home.”
Exhaustion trailed after your every step as you made your way through the empty hallway. A result of caffeine-induced studying paired with the buzzing busyness of commuting in peak-hour. This was all easily avoidable. You should’ve accepted Mr. Miller’s offer in picking you up after his gig up West, but the fear of making a slip up is overriding your desire for convenience. You wouldn't want to make things even more weird than it already is. Your most prized possession, the laptop you’ve owned since the beginning of time, weighed your shoulder down exceptionally as you trudged through. A loud grunt passed your lips as you stumbled across; appearing exactly like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
“Oh! You’re here!”
You took a step back to meet the feminine voice, bubbly and hearty from the girl sitting in a criss-cross manner in front of the TV. Sarah was smiling. A big toothy smile that was too hard to resist, despite the fatigue weighing your shoulders down. You’re just soft when it comes to the little girl.
“Dad’s giving me a massage. Do you want one too?”
You must’ve been dog-tired, because you foolishly didn’t notice the large figure looming over her from the sunken couch. It was admittedly dim in the living room, but he was as obvious as an elephant, big and rigged with muscles out of a need for his profession. Both his contracting gig and his other.. scandalous endeavors. Breathing was all that you needed to focus on for now, and perhaps schooling your expression. You’re almost entirely sure you wouldn’t be able to speak no matter how hard you try.
A small unsure quirk of your head was what you settled with and Sarah, being the nicest girl you’ve ever known, quickly ushered you to sit by her side. On the wooden floor. For a damned massage from Mr. Miller.
You complied, of course. Even when you look mildly petrified by the idea.
“What’re you up to all evening?” 
His voice grazed your eardrums, alike to a powerful gust of wind, as you seated yourself on the foot of the couch. Sarah by your side, looking fondly in your direction, giving you all the more pressure to appear put together when you could simply falter at the bare sound of his voice. You needed to get your shit together. Mr. Miller’s an actual man, for fucks sake, it’s horribly immoral to think of him as the Wicked Fantasies in these kinds of setting.
“Studying.”
“Is that why you’re so pent-up?”
No. You’re pent-up because you’ve spent the entire week trying to be on your best behavior, trying to act like you’re not openly thirsting over this sweet girl’s father, trying to act like you’re not tipping into insanity from merely being placed in the same room as he is, but he didn’t have to know that.
“Think so,” you hummed softly.
“Poor thing.”
Anticipation almost killed you right there and then. You knew he was going to place his calloused fingers over your shoulders, knew that it was the basic requirement to give someone a shoulder massage, but you couldn’t help but develop butterflies in your belly at the thought. It wasn’t beautiful nor poetic, instead, it was an absolute nuisance to conceal your thoughts. When he began to place his hands on your upper back, you flinched.
A hitch in your breathing, then a throaty groan.
You were sensitive, touch-starved, and his touch practically confirmed that.
Mr. Miller’s touch was expertly firm yet gentle, the way you imagined it for a long time. His calloused fingers glided along your trapeze muscles with finesse. Fluid and seamless, as if he’s a master to the human body. Your eyes fluttered shut as he focused on the tension points. The nook between your bones which was constantly weighed down by your bag didn’t go unnoticed. His skilled fingers kneaded away every knot and tightness, making you surrender to his ministrations.
You didn’t want him to stop.
You wanted him to touch you more.
To have each one of his rough fingers stroke every soft bend of your body, like how he treated May and Sadie as if they were his own personal ragdoll.
To feel him under the constraints of your thin t-shirt, without a veil separating the two of you.
You craved him so bad, even when it’s wrong.
“You feel better?”
When he spoke, his raspy voice was magnetic to the core of who you were, as if he's able to resonate with all of you when others can barely achieve a fraction of it. It sounded sincere, like he truly cared about your well-being and not to simply feed into your secret desires. He meant well and you’re here acting like a starved pervert. The thought made you cringe ever so slightly.
“Yeah. Much better.”
“Good then, kiddo.”
The nickname turned you sour. You're more than willing to debate him on it, unlike last time.
“I’m not a kid.”
“No?”
He was so smug about it too. Even when you're looking all pissy.
“No. I’m a fully grown adult, Mr. Miller. Do note that I’m in my twenties,” you schooled him persistently.
“Twenties? Wow, you’re truly ancient.”
“Yeah and you’re a dinosaur, Mr. Miller.”
The silly quarrel you’ve gotten into with the older man made Sarah burst into laughter, breaking your tenacity and effectively making you laugh along with her.
It was the first time in forever that the Millers laughed that hard together.
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As the evening sun painted the kitchen in sepia hues, you stood before the cutting board; a bunch of onions staring right back at you, waiting to be transformed. You have always been passionate about cooking as you viewed it a stress-relieving activity, similar to those medley of coloring books marketed for adults. With a polished kitchen knife in hand and earphones stuffed in, you began your culinary adventure. Your hands moved swiftly, guided by blind confidence. The rhythmic sound of knife to wood began to echo all around the room.
“What are you cookin’ up?”
You could hear him as clear as day, timbre vibrating through your ear canals. Only then did you notice that he had indeed pulled one of your neatly stuffed earphones away, leaving you exposed to the world. To him who you’ve been avoiding despite your little chat in the truck. You looked dumbstruck. Lost in your own thoughts, your eyes wandered up the pools of honey in his eyes. The subtle movements, his thoughtful expression, all seemed to weave a tapestry of intrigue in your mind.
“I’m just chopping up onions here. Nothing exciting, really.”
It took all of you to tear yourself away from his gaze. Even so, the sensation lasted, leaving an anchor of trepidation in your chest.
“You’re back early,” you remarked matter-of-factly.
“Construction guys finished cementing early. Why? You miss me?”
You chuckled fondly. Only to shake your head as you mouthed a brief ‘no’. It’s hard not to entertain the cheeky older man despite your best effort. He was better than you could ever imagine from the confines of your laptop. He had a personality, one that easily made anyone hooked, and a kind heart, therefore it’s terribly hard to keep your burning feelings at bay. It’s wrong. Terribly wrong to view him as such when you’re almost entirely sure he viewed you as his kin, as someone to protect and show guidance to. You were drawn to him like a moth to flame, but he didn’t need to know that.
A sudden lapse in concentration caused your knife to slip, nicking your finger in the process.
A sharp sting shot through your hand.
Then a bead of crimson appeared, mingled with the pungent scent of onions.
“Shit..”
Momentarily stunned, you sucked in a sharp breath, your eyes widened with surprise. It didn’t hurt that bad yet, but it’s still a sight that made you frantic and out of your element. You instinctively brought your injured finger close to your tightly pressed lips, intending to investigate the severity of the wound. Droplets of blood seeped its way through the slim cut as you pressed on the soft pads of your pointer finger. You need to get the wound clean and so tap water was your first option.
However, fate had other plans in store.
“Oh no.. does it hurt, sweetheart?”
You grimaced at the nickname. This wasn’t a good time to get all desperate, but his voice did nothing but burn you with need. Without hesitation, Mr. Miller took hold of your nicked finger, his touch tender and reassuring. He guided your finger closer to his lips and in the many years you've lived, this was the most sensual scene you’ve ever witnessed. Your eyebrows quivered, a mixture of confusion and anticipation swirled within you. 
He was your drug.
One touch and the intoxication was fatal. Whatever he wants to do is what you’ll do and there isn't a thing you can do to stop him - not that you’d want to.
With gentle care, he leaned in. He had to crouch ever so slightly to get to your level and never once did his velvety brown eyes leave yours. You’re starting to think that he was doing it on purpose. That this entire scene you’re trying to make sense of was just a part of his orchestrated show, that he indeed felt the same way you do and was just as afraid of confronting it. Though you’re never really sure; the sheer attention he gave you made your brain turn into mush.
His warm breath ghosted over the wound, and before you knew it, he pressed a soft, delicate kiss on where crimson was pooling. Your breath caught in your throat. You wanted to choke. The sting that had plagued you a moment ago now seemed to dissipate into thin air, replaced by a warmth that spread from your hand to every inch of your aching body. His mouth was a furnace. Plush at all sides as his slick tongue stuck flat against the nick.
The concentration in his face, the emphasized crows feet, the stray strands of brown dappled on his sweaty forehead. 
“It’s a little old-fashioned, I know,” he whispered, his eyes locked with yours, “but sometimes a little love can make the pain go away.”
“Love?” you mumbled foolishly, still in a trance.
“You’re a part of the Millers, remember?”
What he said stung you more than the nick. It pushed you off the ledge of delusions. Your gaze slowly grew somber despite your best efforts to stay nonchalant.
“Of course, Mr. Miller.”
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The steady patter of rain upon his window stirred Joel awake, droplets yet to scatter the nascent rays of the settling moon. A strange occurrence for late summer. Though, the gentle sound brought a certain calmness to his mind; a soothing melody, one that stripped him of fear and incompetence. He looked around, blurry vision still intact while he scrambled to find the time. His alarm clock flashed back the time in big bold numbers. Barely past midnight, he noted internally. Joel wasn’t so sure on why his throat felt incredibly parched, dry to the bone, in need of refreshment even when it’s only been a few hours since he tucked himself in. Was it the one beer he had at dinner?
With an irritated sigh, he groggily stumbled out of bed. His knees creaked at its rusty hinge everytime he took a step down the dimly lit staircase of his home. He felt like a nutcracker. An old worn-out one at that. He wondered if he’s gotten too old for this, too old for construction and his side job - has he developed arthritis? His worries came to a halt when a soft glow caught his attention, emanating from a partially open door. 
If he remembered correctly, it was the small room by the garage he’s gifted to you. 
Curiosity piqued, he hesitated for a moment.
Would he be an absolute prick if he took a short peak? Probably. But you interest him. You’ve always been interesting to him, in ways that confuses him more often than he’d like.
He neared the door. One step at a time, praying to whatever God up there that’d be kind enough not to let the wooden boards ahead of him creak at his heavy steps. In that solitary moment, he felt a mixture of emotions welling up within him. It was as if he knew that he was about to stumble upon a secret, a private moment that’d be permanently embedded in his mind. He contemplated once again when he’s just a step away from getting a clear view. Respect for you tugged at his conscience, yet an overwhelming ugly curiosity pushed him to stay, to try to understand the significance of your nocturnal act.
His brown eyes peered through the small gap left.
He could see you now, but you couldn’t see him.
In the dappled moonlight, he carefully mapped out each and every one of your soft curves. How you were bathed in gentle light, sat comfortably on top of your stacked comforter as you typed away at your laptop with lightning-like speed. How you slowly leaned forward to get a closer look at the blaring screen, hair left relaxed and rear-end clearly emphasized by your inept sleeping shorts. How you eagerly repositioned yourself, straddling two rolled pillows as if you were to ride a horse. Joel didn’t mean to look. He didn’t mean to stare in such a perverted, disgusting manner. You were just too captivating and he was one weak-willed man.
With bated breath, he continued to observe.
Joel found himself captivated, his thirst momentarily forgotten, as he marveled at the scene unfolding in front of him.
This was wrong, he reminded himself. This was you he was looking at, not anyone else. You who he always viewed as a wide-eyed young girl still trying her best to navigate around her life. You who’s naive enough to believe his lies that the pink condom packets in his pick-up truck were single-packet wet tissues. You who’s sweet enough to cook his entire family a good dinner for once; turkey, mash, and green beans. He shouldn’t be looking at you like this. He shouldn’t crave you, because you’re you and he’s him.
His dilemma fell short when you clumsily tugged both your thin shorts and cotton panties off your legs, shin planted deeply into the pristine comforter. Your cunt gleamed under the thick moonlight, arousal formed in globs of clear stickiness right around where your tiny hole appeared. The visage caused him to stiffen in his sweatpants, twitching uncontrollably as he watched you rub yourself along the soft material.
Joel had a first-class view on how you cautiously ground down against it and he was.. shamefully thrilled. A moan bubbled up, before you did it again, and again, and again, each time the pillow appeared more and more damp.
“Fuck,” you hissed to yourself and it drove Joel insane. He pushed his pants down embarrassingly as if he’s some teenage boy catching a coincidental sight of a strip tease, before he cupped himself through his briefs. You’re putting on such a good show, even when it’s not for him, or for anyone on that matter. He watched with anticipation as you leaned back on both hands, edging yourself, before you rutted against it desperately.
Your hole throbbed, contracting and loosening everytime the soft material made contact with your sensitive nub. It’s all that you focus on now. Which was working wonders, considering your quiet gasps and labored breaths were starting to turn into much vulgar noises. Loud moans and whimpers that made Joel’s cock grew with interest, dribbling with pre-cum and desire.
“Please, please, please,” you begged breathlessly.
Both of your hands disappeared for a split second. He wondered silently where it went, but the honest shadows on your wall told him more to the story. You were cupping both your breasts, massaging it kindly before going over to pinch and roll your nipples to harden. You seemed to be sensitive there. Would you enjoy his thick fingers around them?
“More.. oh please,” you begged helplessly.
He wished to come and help you, to stick a finger into that tight hole of yours, to circle your clit with his thumb, flicking indulgently until you gave up. But it’s all a part of his far-fetched fantasy. Watching is more than enough for now. Joel couldn’t even see your face, but this entire thing got him off better than all the pornos he’s personally made.
“I’m gonna- oh, oh, God.”
Your cries echoed around the room, He could see how you quivered, thighs clamping shut around the drenched pillow as you reached your final ecstasy. Everytime you rolled back, he salivated over the sight of your sopping cunt. Untouched and sensitive even from just humping. Your thrusts never falter, not even when you’re making a mess on top of the once pristine, white pillow. What a dirty girl.
Joel watched you until the very end. Right until you collapsed forward, flat on your stomach after exerting such work on your body.
Cock sore and in need of relieving.
Though, something else caught his interest. A revelation that he found to be more important to comprehend than the state of his throbbing cock. 
The video you're watching to get yourself off.
They were his.
3K notes · View notes
bloompompom · 10 months
Text
Safekeeping
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Your brother's best friend learns you don't want to leave for college a virgin, and he thinks he might be able to lend you a hand.
✧ content: ~9.2k word count. 20 y/o eren jaeger x 18 y/o female reader. shameless porn without plot, older brother's friend trope, inexperienced reader/virginity loss, praise, spit, corruption themes, dry humping, guided masturbation, oral sex (f!receiving), protected PIV sex, reader's brother has a name, pet name ('baby'), passing mentions of alcohol/marijuana, explicit sexual content, explicit language, reader discretion advised. 18+ only. ✧ a/n: virginity is a social construct but this is smut so i’m gonna play into it. enjoy ♡ ✧ part two
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You planned to move away to college at the end of the summer, finally. Your school of choice was a three-hour drive from home. To you, it was the perfect distance. Just far enough to give you some much-needed space, but still within reason for a weekend visit if needed. You wouldn’t know anyone there, but that was what you were looking forward to the most, actually. It would be a fresh start.
You never did get the ‘fresh start’ that everyone talked about. You know, the new beginnings that came with every school year. You always tried to be optimistic about it but each time, without fail, your teachers scowled when they saw your last name on their rosters. They all knew your older brother Collin—very well, unfortunately.
His reputation preceded you as a punk who was sent to the principal’s office for acting out in class time and time again. Out of the classroom, too—in the hallways, on the football field after hours. Even in the parking lot when he got into a fender bender with his English teacher his senior year. You were cursed with the same teacher last semester and learned the hard way that she had a habit of holding grudges. 
But that was beside the point. What you were trying to say was: you were ready for college. More than ready. Giddy and practically vibrating with excitement, marking the days off on your calendar until move-in week. Until you could finally quit your lousy summer job at the ice cream shop, waiting on old folk that never knew what they wanted and didn’t bother tipping. 
Still, there was just one teensy little thing you were hoping to get out of the way before freshman year. But now that it was only a few weeks away—twenty-three days, but who’s counting?—it was starting to feel more like a pipe dream.
At the end of the day, there was no point throwing a tizzy over going to college a virgin. Surely, you wouldn’t be the only one.
Right?
Your parents had left for their annual end-of-summer trip down to the beach to visit your grandparents for a week. It used to be a family event, but now that you and Collin were deemed old enough, you had more say in whether you tagged along or not. 
Collin had skipped out the last two summers, but this was the first year you were allowed to stay home, too, now that you were eighteen. But what you didn’t expect was that his three best friends would be there with the two of you—for the better half of the week, at that. Apparently, since they had done it the last two years, it had become a tradition, as they put it. Honestly, you were just impressed Collin was able to pull it off without your parents catching on, considering he was never one to clean the house when you were kids. 
No matter, though; it didn’t bother you much. They had been your brother’s friends since they were in the eighth grade. Having them around was nothing new to you. Of course, it was more fun when you were younger—back when you could play Mario Party together and force Collin to sit out. Now, there wasn’t nearly as much in common besides the occasional tormenting of your brother. 
So, the four of them did their thing, and you did yours.
But therein lies the problem. Even while you minded your business, someone just couldn’t seem to mind theirs. He couldn’t prevent his thoughts from wandering back to you—couldn’t prevent his eyes from lingering longer than they should.
It wasn’t Armin. He would never dare to look at you that way, the girl he tutored in algebra. Nor was it Jean, hopelessly consumed with texting his classmate, still determined as ever to win her over.
No, it was Eren. 'The cute one,’ as coined by you and your friends once he hit his growth spurt and grew out his hair. Though Eren was unaware of the epithet, this would be the year he’d unknowingly return the sentiment, thinking of you as Collin's very cute sister.
Eren was gone last summer, away at an internship, so it had been a couple of years since he’d last seen you. And you appeared to have—ahem—really grown into yourself, to put it delicately. 
Listen, it was harmless. It wasn’t like Eren planned on feeling this way toward you. He didn’t think twice about it when Collin said you’d be at his place, too. And there was no way in hell he’d act on it. He wouldn’t even dare to let the thoughts hang around in his mind, consistently shoving them aside before they could permeate. You were Collin’s—his best friend’s—sister. More than that, you were his little sister! 
He thought he was being discreet about it, but man, did you have to make it so tough? Did you really need to lay out by your parents’ pool every single day? Jeez. As a matter of fact, when was the last time it rained? This had to be the longest they’d been without it, now that Eren was thinking about it.
Back to the point here: Eren was, in fact, not remotely discreet. Armin brought it to his attention as they went to grab another beer. You happened to pop into the kitchen at the same time, just to grab a snack, and damn it, why did you have next to nothing on? Like, yeah, the place was a little warm tonight, and it was your house and all, but seriously—tiny shorts rolled high on your waist and a tank top that looked extra clingy as you reached for a cup on the top shelf? Really?
“You can’t be serious,” Armin grumbled to Eren. Once you were gone, obviously. 
Eren should have known what Armin was referencing, but he was dumb to it, wholly convinced he had been treading carefully. “What do you—”
“You can’t bang Collin’s sister!”
Who even says ‘bang’ anymore?
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second.” Eren innocently held his palms up, waving them as if he could shake off the wicked accusation. “That’s a little far now, isn’t it?”
Armin was getting ahead of himself again; even Eren hadn’t let his mind wander past that boundary… yet. 
Armin gave him a look, like he knew better than to take Eren’s word at face value. “Well, it sure looks like you’re trying to bang his sister.”
“Who’s trying to bang who’s sister?”
Both Eren and Armin jumped at the voice, heads spinning like they were on a swivel to find Collin. He emerged from the basement, Jean trailing behind with a suspicious, low-browed expression.  
“Oh,” Eren stammered. He had to come up with something fast because he wasn’t about to leave it to Armin, the notoriously awful liar. “Armin was just telling me about some porn he watched the other night.” Eren shrugged. “You know, where the guy tries to bang someone’s sister.”
Armin glared at Eren for throwing him under the bus but reluctantly went along with the lie. “Yeah, and then he, uh… bangs the sister?”
Idiot, Eren couldn’t help but think. Whatever, it seemed to work well enough. Collin stared back at them like they were no better than a couple of horny morons. Jean dismissed it, too. Or at least, it didn’t bother him enough to let it interfere with him going for another beer.
With the crisis only half-averted, the four returned to the basement with freshly-cracked cans of beer in tow, where they would spend the rest of the night playing video games until they eventually passed out.
Well, at least three of them did. 
Eren couldn’t sleep, but that wasn’t anything new. He battled with insomnia from time to time. Tossing and turning on a wobbly air mattress didn’t make it any easier to fall asleep, and with the basement only marginally cooler than the rest of the house, he thought he might as well get a glass of water. 
Unluckily (luckily?) for him, he was interrupted before he could do just that. The sight of you, simply existing, lounged up on the couch, startled him. 
Someone’s jumpy tonight. You giggled when he cursed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“What are you doing here?” Eren asked.
You lightheartedly taunted, “Last time I checked, I live here, don’t I?”
He made a face at you, lacking the amusement your voice carried. “You know what I meant. Why are you still awake?”
It was the first time Eren had bumped into you. Not the first time ever, obviously; you had been alone together on countless occasions. But this was different, never this late at night before, and it was the only time it’d been just the two of you since he’d thought about you like that. 
“Do I need a reason?” you airly replied, almost on a yawn as you stretched. “It’s summer break, and I don’t have work tomorrow.”
He didn’t offer more than a nod of acknowledgment before moseying across the room, his hands shoved into his pockets. Unsure of where this was going, you reached for the remote and paused your show.
“What are you guys doing down there?”
“They’re all asleep,” Eren answered. He stood idly in the middle of the room because, like you, he was curious as to where this was heading.
“And you’re not asleep because…?”
No, he couldn’t think like that. This was going nowhere. 
“I came to grab some water,” he hurried to say—or at least, you thought it sounded hurried—and disappeared into the kitchen right after. 
You listened for a moment, fingers dancing on the button of the remote as you debated starting your show again. But when the faucet flicked off, he didn’t return to the basement in the apparent rush he was in. Instead, he stayed there, with you. 
Eren sipped his water, thinking of what to say next. It was an uphill battle because there wasn’t anything to say. There was no reason he needed to start a conversation with you. And yet, there he was, leaned up against the wall, dumbly scratching at his midriff as he racked—
Wait. Were you checking him out?
If there was one thing Eren had learned at college—let’s be real here, he had a nasty habit of skipping class—it was that he did pretty well for himself when it came to girls. Decent enough, he’d say. He at least had enough sense to know when a chick was interested in him. And now that you had creaked that door open, ogled at where his hand had lifted his shirt to reveal his stomach, he didn’t really have another choice but to step inside and explore around. Just a bit. 
Armin’s warning blared in the back of Eren’s head. As luck would have it, his conscience tended to have Armin’s voice. But there wasn’t anything wrong with casual conversation, was there? After all, he had known you for years. 
“So, are you excited to leave for college soon?”
Nope. There was no turning back now. 
You perked up in your seat. “Yeah, for sure. It’ll be nice to go somewhere new. Meet new people, make new friends—”
“Maybe you’ll finally find your Fabio.”
There was a joke there, unfortunately. One you hadn’t heard in so long that you cringed at the memory.
As Collin’s sister, his friends were first-hand witnesses to your boy crazy phase, all your dating flops. Perhaps they had even learned you were quite the hopeless romantic. And by that, you meant Jean had found a smutty novel you had stolen from your mom—yes, it even had the signature Fabio-esque cover, hence the joke. Anyway, he read it aloud in front of your brother and the rest of their friends until Armin snatched the book from him, which somehow made the whole ordeal even worse. 
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” you offhandedly chuckled. “I was sort of hoping that would happen before college, but you know—I’m sure plenty of people go to college inexperienced.”
Your voice trailed off there at the end, almost like the notion really bothered you. Eren scrutinized it, this thing you handed him. It was a conversational game of hot potato—something you had shoved his way and forced him to hold onto. Why were you bringing this up? Were you looking for his advice?
Eren set down his glass and moved to sit by you on the couch. The far side of it. “Is that what you’re worried about?”
“No,” you blurted out, embarrassed and kicking yourself for having said anything in the first place. But your abruptness sounded just as bad, so with a sigh, you said, “I mean, I guess. I don’t want people to think I’m a loser for being a virgin.”
Again, why were you mentioning this to him? Eren felt like he was playing with fire. He knew he was going to wind up burnt the longer he stayed, maybe even scorching everything around him, even you, in the process. 
Still, he poked it, added some kindling because he was unwilling to let it die out. “I think there’s a fairly simple solution to that.”
“What, getting laid? I think I know that,” you scoffed. “And it’s easy for you to say that, looking like—” You loosely waved your hand over the length of him. “You. Believe it or not, I don’t exactly have suitors lining up outside my door.”
Okay, so he was picking up on something here. He wasn’t crazy. You said it then: you found him attractive. And he found you attractive. Extremely so, if that wasn’t obvious already. The answer was easy enough; he might as well go on say it outright then.
“What if I did it?” Eren suggested.
You didn’t know what he meant by it, his casualness throwing you for a loop. Surely, he couldn’t be talking about that. 
“You know, took your virginity.”
Oh. There was no mistaking it now. He was, without a doubt, talking about that. 
And why were you considering it?
Your brother’s friends, Eren included, had taught you all sorts of things before, things they probably shouldn’t have. They told you to flush the toilet to mask your squeaky front door if you planned on sneaking out. Taught you how to roll a joint, and how to take a proper hit after you confessed you had never ‘felt high’ when you smoked. So, would this be any different?
While you mulled it over, Eren took the far-away look behind your eyes as a horrible sign. He realized how insane the proposition sounded once he spoke it into existence. Before he could take it back, play it off as a joke—he had one too many beers, that’s all—you piped up.
“Really?”
He certainly didn’t expect that, stammering, “I—yeah. Why not?”
Another lengthy pause passed before you accused, “Are you just fucking with me?”
“No, no! I wouldn’t.” He started rambling then, a jumbled mix of ‘I just—’ and ‘I shouldn’t have—’ until you decidedly cut him off.
“Okay.”
“Huh?”
“I said okay. You can… take my virginity.” It felt like a strange way to say it, too formal. And to say it to Eren of all people, who would have guessed it?
Then again, maybe this was the most logical outcome. It wasn’t like you needed to make a big deal of losing your virginity. You weren’t looking for something romantic, with rose petals or a waterbed or any of that corny-porny crap. You were just looking to get it out of the way. That way, when you inevitably meet the love of your life in college (okay, so maybe you were a hopeless romantic), you wouldn’t embarrass yourself the first time you hooked up. 
“Okay,” Eren replied on his inhale, a breath sucked through his teeth, like it was a sin to say aloud. 
He scooted closer, sitting on the cushion that once separated you. You expected him to kiss you, even leaning into him with closed eyes, but your lips barely brushed into his. He didn’t come any closer than that.
Lowly, he asked you, “Do you trust me?”
You nodded. Your noses bumped.
“I need to hear it.”
“I trust you,” you said, even quieter than him. You could barely hear it over the sound of your heart, thumping so hard you swore it might burst into your throat.
Eren kissed you then, tentatively, with his hand cradling the side of your face. He didn’t move until you did, and when you returned the kiss, he followed while letting you take lead.
It didn’t last long, though. You jumped away from each other, back to the opposite sides of the couch, when the basement door squeaked open. The panic subsided when you caught the bright eyes of your family’s cat, her little head poking out from the shadows.
You held a hand to your chest, steadying your breath and trying to settle your rapid heartbeat, as if both were possible. When you met Eren’s gaze, he was already staring at you with a brittle sort of look. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Did he regret what he had done with you? You didn’t, and you prayed he didn’t either.
Before you had the chance to ask, he finally said, “Should we go to your room?”
“Good idea.”
He knew where your room was, but still, he followed right behind you anyway. At the top of the staircase, just before your bedroom door, you split. You turned to see Eren sneaking into Collin’s room. A minute passed while you listened to his rustling, but when he returned, held between his two fingers was that infamous, shiny foil.
You frowned, hard. “I’m not going to use one of my brother’s condoms.”
“Do you have one then?” Eren asked, already well aware of your answer.
“Fine.” 
Eren had never been in your bedroom before. It felt foreign, and weirdly wrong, to have him in there. He looked out of place for it, too big, too mature, especially as you looked at all your girlish knick-knacks and old photos. You wished you could tuck everything away into some lonely drawer. 
You avoided Eren’s eyes and fixed your attention on adjusting the lights. Your bright ceiling light was far too unforgiving for this, so you switched it out for your bedside lamp. The drone of the old bulb buzzed in the back of your ears, its light a fizzy yellow.
You were nervous. Eren didn’t need to see your face to know it was written all across it. Not that it surprised him, considering this was about to be your first time having sex, and it would be with him. 
He felt his heart drop into his stomach, the sick feeling you get on a rollercoaster, but somehow you want to ride again. Maybe he was just as nervous as you. You had put your trust in him, enough to take your virginity. Handing it to him as if it were some sentimental treasure he could watch over, for safekeeping. 
Sure, he knew the optics were bad. Not just bad but horrendous, actually. He was about to sleep with his best friend’s younger sister, a recently eighteen-year-old virgin. The whole situation sounded no better than a second-rate porno—like the one he had made up with Armin in the kitchen, ha!
This was as much a blessing straight from heaven as it was a curse. But he couldn’t care about the optics now, not with you taking a seat on the bed, looking over at him with these come-and-get-me eyes that may or may not have been intentional. 
No, this wasn’t a curse at all. If it were so wrong of him, then why was it that he already felt his cock straining against his sweats at the mere thought? The thought of how delicate he’d be with you. He needed to be, for the last thing he wanted was to ruin your first time. He’d be the first to show you what pleasure could be with another person—what you were deserving of before going off and letting other boys touch you.
He set the condom on the nightstand and joined you at the edge of your bed, his knee barely grazing yours. He was about to ask if he could kiss you again, but you entirely side-skipped any conversation by picking up right where the two of you had left off. 
Again, Eren relinquished control to you, but he did take the initiative to swipe his tongue into your mouth. You tasted him, the bittersweet flavor of light beer. He was nothing like the last boy you kissed. He didn’t ram his tongue down your throat but kissed you as though he wanted to taste you, to muse over and memorize you. And you let him, lips languidly caressing one another with little point or purpose, solely running on instinct. 
You balled his shirt in your fist, twisted the fabric of it between your hands to have him close—closer. He hoisted you onto his lap with his hands at your waist, and you went along with him more than willing. You draped your hands over his shoulders, crossing them at the wrist, and didn’t let your lips break from his once. 
He smoothed his palms up and down the small of your back until he eventually ventured lower. He gripped at your ass, pulling you down to grind over him. Just once, so you could feel him, how achingly hard he was for you. Then, you did it again all on your own. Lightheaded and teeming with desire, the pressure against your clit, even through your layers of clothing, was an addicting relief. You moved against him, again and again, until you were dragging yourself over him, practically about get off from that alone. 
But Eren didn’t let that happen. Before you get there, Eren used his hold on your hips to stall you. His voice was a mumble against your mouth as he asked you, “How far have you gone?”
“This,” you professed. “This is the farthest I’ve gone.”
Fuck.
“Okay.” It was the word of the night. Eren breathed it out like he was talking to himself. The type of sigh you’d give yourself in the mirror when trying to calm down, which was precisely his goal.
He lifted you with little effort, had you lie back into the pillows before he crawled on top of you. He kissed at your jawline, then placed another on the side of your neck. He left a few of them there. It was all lip, all wispy, like he could break you. Still, you felt each of them like a spark at the base of your spine. 
His fingers trailed lower, tickling over your collarbone but stopping short of the neckline of your tank top. 
“Is it all right if I touch you here?” he asked, punctuating it by running a hand down your breast, over your shirt.
“Yes,” you whispered with a shudder. 
With the confirmation, he massaged lightly, his thumb caressing over your perked nipple. 
He kissed you again, his tongue meeting yours while he rolled your nipple between his fingers. Your back arched instinctively, wanting more—needing more. He listened to your body, learning as he went, and tugged down your tank top. With nothing between you, he lightly pinched at your nipple, pulling a whine from you, one that didn’t get the chance to meet the air.
Eren kissed the side of your face. “Can I kiss you there?” he muttered, referencing your tits as he gave another squeeze. He pressed another kiss, lower, against your throat.
“Mhm,” was all you managed with a voice that was long gone, lost somewhere in the opened-mouth kisses he left along the dip between your chest. 
It tickled a bit when he flicked over your nipple with his tongue—even more when he latched onto it with his mouth. You were wiggly beneath him, driving him wild, and you didn’t even know it. It was sweet how sensitive you were, his mouth being the first to kiss you there, to learn the taste of your skin. So soft. And warm, too, heating up the longer he sucked at your tits, anywhere he pleased.
Eren kept his hand at your waist, palming over your stomach but never risking any lower than that. His touch was heated, urgent, yet he only showed restraint. 
He pulled back from you, letting his face hover inches above yours when he asked, “Have you ever touched yourself before?”
He was strangely calm for asking such a personal question, setting your face ablaze. Too rushed, you replied, “Of course I have.”
What did he think? That because you were a virgin, you hadn’t thought about sex before? Hadn’t ever watched porn? Yes, you hadn’t actually done it, but it wasn’t as though you were heading into the situation blind.
“Then—” You, the sight of you wriggling out of your sleep shorts, interrupted him. You caught the bob of his throat when he swallowed, but you weren’t sure he was trying that hard to hide it. “Show me how you do it.”
Eren sat back on his knees, just shy of sitting between your legs as you rested against the pillows. The only thing separating him from you was a thin pair of panties. You hoped he didn’t notice your jittery fingers as you slipped them beneath the band.
You started, “This is—”
“It’s not embarrassing,” he interrupted. It only made you more anxious, like he could read your mind or something. But he was genuine as he said it, assuring you even while struggling to maintain eye contact, his attention flitting from your face to between your legs. “Show me how I can make you come.”
How could he possibly be so open about this? There wasn’t even a shred of hesitation or shame in his voice. You wondered how many people he’d been with—how many times he’d rehearsed before he could speak with such confidence? Enough confidence to have you listening loyally and plunging your hand beneath your underwear. 
You pressed the pads of your fingers against your clit and started to rub. Slowly at first, but already, just that smidgen of relief was enough to pull a flimsy sound from you. You were sensitive, throbbing, and so incredibly turned on that you didn’t hide even as he unabashedly stared at you with pure infatuation. 
Eren rested a hand on your leg, sliding higher and reaching for your panties. “Can I take these off?”
You stopped only to help him work them down your leg, shimmying until he had them thrown to the foot of the bed. You were hesitant to spread your legs again, but he did it for you, placing one at each of his sides. He took your hand and returned it between your thighs, eager for you to continue. So you did just that. 
There wasn’t any doubt he could see everything now—how wet you were, how it coated your fingers the longer you rubbed, the tighter your little circles became. But you were too wrapped up in it to care, playing with yourself just as indecently as you would if you were alone. You couldn’t even be bothered to stifle the chant of gasps spilling from you.
“Can you put a finger inside for me?” Eren requested.
You nodded and pushed one inside, felt how you pulsed around it. You moved it in and out, the same way you had done many times before. 
“Yeah, like that,” he murmured. You heard the ‘fuck’ he cursed under his breath. “How’s that feel?”
“Good,” you whispered, eyes fluttering shut.
“Try a little faster.”
You did just that and bit back a whimper.
“Add another.”
He needed you stretched. He needed you ready for him. 
You took your second finger well; you had done that before, too.
“You’re doing so good,” he told you. He leaned into you, closing in. “Can I help you now?”
“Please,” you breathed. You slipped your fingers from you, giving Eren access to do with you as he wished.
But he didn’t reach for you. Not there, at least. He held his fingers before your mouth.
“Open up.”
You weren’t sure what he was after, but you obeyed, lusty enough that you found you were trusting him implicitly. He placed his middle and index fingers against your tongue, telling you, “Get them nice and wet for me.”
You sucked on them lightly. Saliva pooled on the back of your tongue as he pressed down. He pulled them from your mouth with a lewd sound and smiled at you. It made your chest swell a bit.
Eren returned to your side. His presence was engulfing as he wrapped an arm around you, holding you close. It surprised you, the intimacy of it, but you didn’t have any time for second-guessing before he urged, “Keep going.”
You returned to circling your clit as his hand met yours. He traced his pointer finger through you, and every muscle in your body tensed.
“Can I?”
“Yes,” you said, practically a moan.
He slipped it inside you, taking his time with it. His finger was much larger than your own, thicker, reaching deeper than yours had ever gone. Your stomach tightened at the intrusion, trying to adjust. 
“That okay?” he asked.
“Yes.” It was better than okay. “More. Please.”
Eren chuckled warmly. He pumped his finger in and out of you, curving it just right to have you squirming in his arms. You were beginning to understand why he was holding you now. He wanted to keep you still so that, once he figured out what you liked, he could maintain his pace through your needy bucking. 
He had a hand on your head, petting over you as he asked, “You close?” You couldn’t respond because he added a second finger. A hiss left you, but it melted into a satisfied whine. “Yeah?”
“Y-yeah,” you whispered against him, his body dizzyingly hot even through his T-shirt. 
It was becoming quite the task to keep your fingers moving, what with Eren’s fingers hitting a spot that you didn’t even know existed, over and over again. It had you—fuck—it had you coming. So hard that you thoughtlessly rode his hand, eyes screwing shut as you fucked yourself deeper on his fingers, prolonging the bliss however you could until you turned to goo in his arms. 
You were panting against his chest, your body still twitchy, when he started to ask, “Did you—”
“Yes,” you said on a drawn-out exhale. 
He pecked your forehead. You still felt the stamp of it as he moved to get back on top. He held himself above you with hands planted on either side of you, kissing you full on the mouth. Still hazy, you didn’t move much, letting him make out with you all he wanted until his lips traveled down to the dip behind your ear, then the delicate crook of your neck.
He bunched your tank higher up your chest until you both tore it over your head. With it out of his way, Eren continued kissing lower—even lower than before. His breath tickled over your nipples, leaving you a needy, rutting mess—for what exactly, you didn’t know, just more.
“Too much?” Eren asked, looking up at you with his big, green eyes.
“No,” you assured, your mouth agape and in awe of him. “I like it.”
He pressed his smile against your skin, kissing and licking his way down your sternum.
When he reached your navel, you asked, “What are you—”
“Making sure you’re ready.” He kissed your hipbone.
“It’s really okay,” you said, slightly wary. “We should just get this over with, right?”
“What if I don’t want to get this over with?” Eren kissed just above your slit. “What if I want to take my time?”
Eren wanted you as comfortable—as relaxed—as possible. And since he was already about to fuck his friend’s younger sister, with one of his condoms nonetheless, he certainly wasn’t going to dig around for his friend’s lube next. Luckily, there was another, more fun, way that he could ensure you were properly lubricated so as to avoid any pain that may arise from him splitting you on his—
Focus. 
“I need you to tell me what feels good and what doesn’t,” Eren said, a reminder more to himself than for you. 
You gasped, almost choked, when he kissed the top of your thigh, then the inner part of it. 
“Can you do that for me?”
“Eren, I—” 
“Please.” He licked a broad stripe up the crease of your thigh. That alone had your head thrown back against your pillow, a tiny ‘oh’ escaping you. “Let me. I want to.”
“You do?” you timidly asked.
“So badly,” he replied, but it sounded more like an admission. A white flag of surrender, like he was letting himself fully give in to his desires because, yes, he had thought about this before. There was no use in lying about it now. 
“O-okay.”
On that, he returned to teasing his way between your legs, kissing from the delicate flesh of your inner thighs to—
“Wait!” you interjected. Eren immediately looked to you like he had done something wrong, but you quelled his worry with, “Can you get undressed, too? Like, at least your shirt.”
Your request didn’t sound nearly as self-assured as his, but he listened to you nonetheless. He sat back to peel off his shirt. He smiled at you softly. “Better?”
You scanned over his toned torso, sun-kissed and tanned from summer. Definitely better. “Thanks.”
He leaned over you, his mouth inches from your pussy as he murmured, “It’ll feel good.” Then he kissed your entrance, and the sensation of it jolted through your body like lightning. “Promise.” 
Eren parted you with his fingers before licking through you, letting the newfound feeling sink in deep. His tongue was warm, wet, and exceedingly gentle—nothing like his fingers or even your own. You couldn’t begin to describe it, but that might be because, after a second lap of his tongue, you were already losing any and all coherency. 
You made a few strained sounds, flowery and pathetic, but supported yourself on trembling elbows to watch. When you met Eren’s eyes, he only stopped licking at you to say, “Tell me what feels good.”
“Everything.” The word tumbled out of your mouth desperately. “Everything feels good.”
You felt his laugh just before he closed his mouth back over you. He continued having his way with you, sucking and licking at you, saliva and slick making a mess of his pretty face as he staggered kisses between his laps. Whenever his lips brushed against your clit, your legs would flex tight. He hooked his arms around them, laying them over his strong shoulders. You felt the way his fingers dug into the fat of your thighs, locking them in place while he circled his lips around your clit with more pressure than before.
“Ah—oh,” you moaned, your back leaving the bed to press your pussy further into his face, as if you could have him any closer—you know, until you’d have him inside you. But that would come soon enough.
Eren didn’t ask this time; he knew exactly how he was making you feel. And you were thankful for it because you couldn’t dream of him stopping. You needed more, lacing a hand through his locks and pulling lightly, encouraging him. He groaned against you, clearly liking it, so you did it again.
He was sloppy with it while still… thoughtful? That didn’t feel like the correct word for it, but even as he made out with the most intimate part of you, he did it with intention, doing that thing again, whatever it was, with his tongue pointed, because he had quickly learned you liked it. No, he showed you that you liked it. Loved it, actually; it was excruciatingly evident by the breathless sounds you made. 
And when Eren paired his tongue with his sucking lips, swirling it against your clit, you came with your own hand clamped over your mouth. Your entire body gained a pulse of its own. It was much stronger than your first orgasm and longer-lasting, too. The muscles of your stomach wound and released while you rode out your high, Eren groaning against you just as pleasedly. 
Only once you were no longer propped on your elbows but flopped against the bed did Eren let up. Your thighs were still trembling as he kissed a pathway back to your side. You both sat with heaving chests, though yours much heavier than his, and you were beginning to question how you were supposed to go for another round. You hadn’t even reached the—for lack of a better word—main event yet. Truthfully, you expected Eren to throw you to your bed, pop your metaphorical cherry, and be done with it. But now you had already orgasmed twice and he still had his sweatpants on. 
You should probably do something about that, shouldn’t you?
“I wanna touch you, too.”
While innocent, it was the most you had communicated with him this far, so he didn’t stop you when you reached for him. He was more than ready for it. 
You explored him a bit, tracing over his length and discovering what touches made him twitch beneath your touch, still as chaste as ever. 
“Show me,” you purred.
It wasn’t that you didn’t know what to do—a hand job was far from rocket science. It was more like if you had to show him yours, then you wanted to see his. You wanted to watch. 
Eren tugged his sweatpants and boxers down his legs. His cock sprung out, nearly slapping against the low part of his abs. Already, his tip was wetted, needy for anything after going untouched this long, even if it was his own hand. 
He wrapped his fingers around his shaft, working his fist over his cock, faster, until he was jerking himself off for you. His breath, fanning just above your head, went from steady to ragged, his chest tight.
You watched him for a moment, already needing to touch him. You pushed yourself upright, perched so that your knees brushed against his thigh, ready to take him with both hands. 
“Hold on.”
You glanced at him. He fidgeted, like he was about to say something but retracted it immediately. He sounded hesitant, looked even more hesitant, when he asked, “Can you—can you spit in your hand first?”
“Oh, um.” You looked at your open palm and tried your best to collect some saliva in your mouth. It was a little daunting, knowing he was watching as you did it, but he didn’t seem to mind. 
No, he definitely didn’t mind. Not in the slightest. But he wouldn’t admit that to you right now. 
You took him in your hand, mimicking how he did it, with a loose wrist and your grasp slightly firm. When you squeezed over his tip, you heard the sharp inhale it pulled from him, noted how his pelvis flexed. Eren’s hand closed over yours. He was going to show you exactly how he liked it. 
Eren moved your hand for you, gripping it whenever you reached the head of his cock. His pinched breaths turned into groans, his brows hanging low over his keen eyes. That was when he started thrusting, fucking your hand, and nearly forgot where he was—forgot whose hand he was using like his own personal toy.
“Spit on it,” he grunted, that temperate side of him growing unrestrained. 
He didn’t mean to come off so crass, not in front of you, not this soon. It was just that Eren couldn’t remember the last time he came from a handjob, but he was nearly there, with your hands so dainty and velvety around him. Not to mention the spit dribbling from your pretty lips before you spread it down his cock—he was about to lose his last smidgen of composure. 
Thankfully, he remembered the reason why he was here. He had a much bigger agenda than fucking your hand. How could he have forgotten already that he was here for you?
“That’s—ah, shit.” Selfishly, Eren waited for another second before releasing your hand. You continued stroking him eagerly, and it felt wrong to stop you, but he did just that with his hand around your forearm. “You’re gonna make me come if you keep going.”
“Sorry,” you said, your hands now politely to yourself and folded on your lap.
With a short, huffing laugh, he told you, “You do not have to apologize for that. Believe me.”
His chuckle had you smiling again. That closed-mouth, coy smile that he was quickly learning might become the death of him. He straightened out, taking your chin between his fingers to kiss you again.
“Lay back for me,” he whispered. 
You fell into the mess of pillows and tangled sheets, making yourself comfortable while Eren fetched the condom. You didn’t know what the feeling was—trepidation, anticipation, excitement, perhaps all three—but it bubbled in your stomach as you watched him rip the wrapper before rolling on the latex.
He pumped himself a few times as he reminded, “We can stop at any time if you need.”
Eyes wide and fixed onto him—specifically on his cock, which he’d soon gape you on—you asked, “Do we need a safe word?”
He laughed again, through his nose like earlier, but only because you were so agonizingly cute about it. “I think ‘stop’ will work just fine.”
You did that smile again, winding the knot in his stomach more than he even thought possible. Eren was so close to snapping—not like that! Not hurting you, never. More like coming undone, turning into a puddle of himself, finishing humiliatingly early—that sort of snapping. He didn’t know what had him feeling this way, but something about you made him feel like the virgin here. 
He didn’t dare push inside yet, not only for your sake but for his. His eyes, now brazen and alert, scanned over you, staring you straight in the face like a silent check-in. And when you gave him the go-ahead, nothing more than a bobble of your head, slowly, he tilted his hips into yours. 
With you unbelievably tight around him, he stilled with only his tip inside you. Even so, his breath had already hitched in his throat. He couldn’t hold back, he simply couldn’t. And when he gave you a little more, between his eyes flittering shut, he caught the scrunch of your nose. 
There was a stretch, a certain fullness. It didn’t necessarily hurt, but it didn’t exactly feel like he belonged in there, either. It was considerate of him to take his time with you, prep you with his fingers and tongue. But even so, with his cock only halfway inside, you had your nails dug deep into his biceps. 
“How’re you doing?” Eren asked. 
“I’m—” You glanced at where your bodies were connecting. There was still more of him to take. “Okay.”
It didn’t appear like he believed you, which was fair because it was a shaky statement at best. “It’s too much?”
“A little,” you sheepishly admitted. 
He pulled out of you, and even that made you wince. Your shoulders dropped back to the mattress, every muscle in your body easing up now that he wasn’t bullying inside you. 
"Here.” Eren rolled onto his back. He guided you on top of him, set you so your knees straddled his waist, his cock resting between your legs. Somehow, it looked even longer like that, laid upon his abs. “Let’s try it like this.”
Like this? It felt incredibly vulnerable from up here, where he could see you—in all your glory—bouncy above him. Plus, you hardly knew what you were doing; you had just given your first handjob! If you were being honest, you thought you’d just sort of lay there and take it from him, and now he was expecting you to ride him? It was intimidating, to say the least, even if Eren tried to assure you it wasn’t.
“You have total control this way.”
That was the exact thing you feared. You didn’t want any control. What if you did something wrong? 
Apparently, you didn’t do a great job at masking your worry because Eren immediately placed his hands on your hips, not taking them in his grasp but rubbing his thumbs encouragingly against your skin. 
The entire point of this was to trust him. That was why you were doing this—losing it to Eren, someone who wouldn’t make fun of you. That way, when it really mattered, you wouldn’t royally fuck up. And after getting this far, there was no chance in hell you would end the night a virgin. Well, half-virgin.
Ready to try again, you drew a deep breath, lifting yourself to your knees. Before you reached for him, like the new sexpert that you were, you spat in the palm of your hand, not minding Eren’s eyes this time. You stroked over the condom, mixing its lube with your saliva, then lined his cock up with you. 
Carefully, you sat down. He only reached as deep as before, but the pressure was nowhere near what it once was. You rolled your hips, testing different angles to see what worked best—how you could get more of him, all of him, inside you. 
Eren curved a hand around the nape of your neck, cooing, “Come here.”
He brought you in for a kiss—more than a kiss—his tongue immediately licking into your mouth the second your lips crashed into his, tasting every one of your contented, little hums.
He snaked a hand between your legs, lazily thumbing over your clit until your lips were unable to match his fervency. It was more like you were moaning against his mouth, right into it, sharing each of his breaths until your cheeks sweltered. He melted you from the inside out, softening you up like butter until you were flush against his pelvis—as easy as that. Cautiously, you started rocking your hips.
“That’s it,” Eren whispered into the corner of your mouth.
With quivering arms, you held yourself up with your palms pressed into his chest. Perched proudly atop him, the tip of his cock reached deeper, filling you deeper than anything else had before. It stole your breath, almost like you felt him in your throat.
Eren admired how your mouth fell into an adorable ‘o’ before you started moving. As though a switch had flipped, you were suddenly rolling your hips against him—slowly, of course—repeatedly having him hit that delicious spot again as you indulgently chased after your third orgasm.
“You’re doing so good, taking me well for—for your first time.”
Shit. Eren remembered he was taking your virginity. 
He inhaled sharply, hoping you wouldn’t notice how his voice gave way, or how his cock jolted inside you when he realized he was the first to have you like this. His cock was the first to fill you, stretch you, mold you to accommodate him. Only him. 
“Do what feels good for you, baby.”
The pet name slipped past him before he could wrangle it back, but you didn’t seem to catch it. Or, at least, you didn’t mind. 
No, you were too busy to hear him, more occupied with getting a feel for what you liked best. Eren let you use his cock freely because—what, was he supposed to stop you? Fuck no. He would let you continue forever if you desired it, so long as you’d continue gifting him with such lovely and lewd expressions—the sweet curl of your lip, the knit of your determined brows as your thighs had surely started to burn.
But, boy, it was quite the challenge, letting you have your way with him. You could only keep your pace for a moment or two before you’d take a break. Such a fucking tease, and you didn’t even know it. It was endearing how worn out you were from everything that came before this, and all Eren wanted was to dig his heels into your bed, pound away at that tight pussy of yours, and show you just how wonderful he could make you feel. 
It was a test of strength for him, whether he could hold back or not, because finally, you looked like you were enjoying yourself on his cock. You took him with short strokes, a simple tilt of your hips back and forth once you realized you could grind your clit into his pelvis.
He could tell you were close, from the way you fluttered around him to the gasps getting caught in your throat from the added, and absolutely euphoric, pressure. 
“Just like that. Keep going. Make yourself come for me.” 
The gravel in Eren’s voice pushed you closer to the edge. There was a growl to it, and you could feel it vibrate through you. You tossed your head back with a cry loud enough to wake a neighbor as you shoved a hand between your legs, desperate to come. 
Eren shushed you dotingly, but there was a grin on his face as he placed his sticky palm against your mouth. “Can’t let them hear us now, can we?”
He felt your heady breath as you panted, trying to reach your peak. When you couldn’t ride him any longer, your hips an erratic sputter, he beamed up at you, slack-jawed smile and all, and said, “Feel good? Need some help?”
Too overwhelmed, you couldn’t even nod your head. You babbled uselessly.
“Want me to fuck you, just a little? Get you coming on my cock?”
“Yes, please—oh, God, Eren.”
When he started to move, thrusting into you ever so slightly, you were already scratching your nails down his chest. It was no bother to him, though. He only wanted you to do it again.
When you came, you squeezed him so perfectly that he thought he might explode. It was taking his last bit of self-control to fuck you at such a steady and slow pace when, in reality, he only wanted to hammer into you. Eren felt like he was moments away from boiling over. His face was burning, and he could feel the sweat beading in his hairline from this aching, pent-up desire within him. After fingering you, going down on you—no, after days of fantasizing about you—he needed release.
Even you could see it—the unmistakable flush of his face now spreading to the base of his neck and spanning his chest. As blissed out as you were, limply collapsed on top of him, you mumbled against his skin, “Eren, I want you to come, too.”
And how could he turn that down? Now that you had come three times, he figured he could finally have his turn. 
“I’m gonna go a bit faster now. You tell me if that’s okay or not.”
Before he could even flinch, you assured him, “It’s okay. I want you to.”
The soft laziness of your voice, the dreaminess seeping through it like syrup—it was too much. 
Eren took you by the hips first, holding your body pliant for him to thrust into. He started with long drags of his cock, letting his tip kiss your entrance before stuffing himself back inside you. Each time he bottomed out, he bit back every vulgar curse he wanted to hiss into your ear. 
Then, he flattened his hands against your back, folding you into him with his palms seared into your shoulder blades. Your face was smothered in the crook of his neck as he fucked up into you. The bed began to squeak, like a mockery of your tiny bleats.
“You all right?” Eren asked, his voice hoarse.
You only made an affirmative sound that got muffled as you burrowed against him. With your chest warm, like a tingling between your lungs, and your head stuck somewhere in the clouds, you took him in a speechless, almost surreal, bliss. How fiercely he needed you, if only for a blip in time, was intoxicating.
And in that fleeting moment, the sin of it, the forbiddenness surrounding you, had vanished. Eren was sure it would rear itself again, that was for certain. He could predict the ripple of guilt that’d course through him once he inevitably faced what he’d done. But even if it meant betraying his best friend, he couldn’t find it within himself to regret it.
Especially when he realized how fucking good it felt to come inside you. With his arms locked around your waist, your entire body smushed against his, he snapped his hips into you, as if he could possibly fuck you any deeper. He emptied himself into the condom as a groan tore through his throat, the hum of it against the shell of your ear like a final shudder down your spine. 
He pulled out of you, faintly cursing as he did. You flopped at his side, entirely spent, and stared at the ceiling with fuzzy, unfocused vision. The rush of adrenaline was on a steep comedown, and you were already starting to feel it. Sore, but extremely satisfied. 
“You should probably go to the bathroom—to pee and stuff,” Eren said, that familiar, boyish side already returning in full force. 
Pee. Got it.
You only muttered a ‘yeah’ before you redressed and tip-toed off to the bathroom down the hallway. There, you wiped yourself clean, forced yourself to pee, and gave yourself a good long look in the mirror.
In just one night, you had hit every base. By definition, a home run, in your book—and with your brother’s ‘cute friend,’ at that. 
You were shocked to see Eren was still there when you returned to your bedroom. He had on his boxers and tee already, stepping into his sweatpants as you opened the door. He gave you a soft smile as you hopped into your bed. 
Then, even more surprisingly, he asked, “Do you want me to stay?”
Eren knew he should leave unless he hoped to get caught. Still, he thought it was the right thing to say.
You giggled, “I think my brother would kill you if he found you in here.”
He laughed along with you, but when it settled, he crawled beneath your sheets anyway.
Though you felt uncertain about it, he consoled it away with, “Don’t worry. I’ll just hang here until you fall asleep.” You at least deserved that.
He turned the light off and let you rest your head against his chest, your arm looped around his waist. You didn't know where the urge to cuddle came from, and neither did he, but he didn't question it. It was comfortable, even as he waited for that pang of guilt to hit.
But it never did. And once he heard your breathing taper to a peaceful drone, he slipped out of your bed and snuck back down to the basement. That stupid air mattress felt a whole lot more comfortable now.
Finally, Eren had scratched the itch he couldn't kick, just to get it out of his system. Now, there was absolutely no way he'd think of you again—not that kittenish little smile nor how you curled against him in your sleep—and definitely not while you were three hours away at school…
Right?
✧ continue to part two ✧
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luvhu9hes · 1 month
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Part of Me QH43
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You had been in love with your best Friends brother for as long as you could remember. So much so he was a part of you.
Word Count: 3.3K
Warnings: SMUT 18+ Minors DNI, oral (f receiving), not proofread, I think that's all of it please lmk if there's anything else.
This is only my second fic i've actually posted, if you like it please let me know. Also this is kind of rushed at the end, but I'd be stressing about this for over a week so hopefully i've done it some justice. Anyways I love all of you who take the time to read my work! Go Canucks and all that jazz.
Summer was quickly approaching in Ann Arbor Michigan, and you were all but prepared for your trip to the lake house this summer. Every summer for as long as you could remember was spent at your best friend Luke’s family lake house. Your mom and Ellen Hughes (his mother) had met their sophomore year in college from playing on the women’s hockey team together. Their friendship had continued over the years and became even stronger when they became pregnant around the same time having you and Luke only a week apart from each other (him being the older of you two).
You and Luke were destined to be best friends, practically inseparable. Always going to the same schools, hanging out daily, becoming part of each other's families. Growing up with Luke meant growing up with his older brothers; Jack and Quinn as well. Jack was like an older brother to you, always being so protective over you. Even back when you were in elementary school, Luke’s other friends would tease you about being a girl and having cooties. After Jack had threatened them, they never bothered you again. Quinn was a different story, you had always had a little crush on him, (you’d never admit that to Luke, but it was true). Even though you had been so into him, he had never seemed to reciprocate your feelings, making you feel like his younger brother’s annoying best friend. For years you tried to get over your crush on Quinn Hughes, but to no avail, your heart still belonged to him even at the end of your sophomore year of college. You knew deep down, he would always be a part of you.
Always going to the same schools with Luke led you to where you are now, at the University of Michigan, sitting in your dorm room, clothes scattered everywhere. It was the end of the term, and you were meant to be leaving for the lake house in a mere 5 days, but excitement filled your mind. You were excited to be reunited with Luke, considering you hadn’t seen him in over a month due to him leaving for Jersey to fulfill his lifelong dream of playing in the NHL with his two older brothers. Though you were extremely proud of him for all of his hard work and accomplishments, you still missed him more than anything, having never spent this much time apart from him.Even though you were excited, the mere thought of spending another summer around Quinn had your stomach in knots. The two of you kept contact throughout the years, even with his busy hockey schedule and your school schedule you still made time to stay in touch. You weren't sure if it was your imagination, but something felt different about this summer, even if you weren’t quite sure what it was yet.
The drive to the lake house was peaceful as you listened to music and traffic was low. As you got closer to the lake house the more free you felt. All of the stress of the school year slowly leaving your body and the relaxation of summer being let in. Luke had texted you the day before that he and Jack were on their way, considering it took far longer to get to the lake house from Jersey. You had expected to be the first one there as you usually were, but to your surprise, there was already a car in the driveway when you had pulled up. It was not a car you had seen before, both Quinn and Jack had gotten new cars since the last time you had seen them, but considering you hadn't heard anything from Luke since yesterday you had a very strong feeling that it was Quinn's.
You entered the house voicing a quick “Hello?” announcing your arrival to whoever was in the house. At the sound of your voice a very tousled looking Quinn came rushing down the stairs to greet you. The sight of his messy brown hair and bright but tired eyes brought a smile to your face. Your smile was contagious as it brought one upon his face just before he engulfed you in a bone crushing hug. The hug was comforting, like coming home after a long time away, but that didn't stop the feeling of butterflies from erupting throughout your stomach. “Hi Quinn” your voice came out barely above a whisper, being slightly muffled against his chest. “Hey y/n/n, long time no see huh” he jokes. You can't help but chuckle at him as you begin to pull away. Though, Quinn clearly wasn't ready to pull away, as he pulled you back in and gripped you tighter than before. The slight action had you flushing and you were grateful he couldn't see your face at that moment.
Finally as the two of you pulled away, Quinn spoke up asking “Have you heard anything from tweedle dee and tweedle dumb? They haven't said a word to me since they left Jersey yesterday.”  The old nickname had you grinning as you responded “No, I haven't heard from them since about the same time.” 
“Well then,” Quinn smiled, “it looks like it's just you and me for a while.” You were sure he didn't mean to sound so suggestive when saying that, but that didn't stop the warm feeling you got from his words. Your time together was slightly awkward at first given the fact that you hadn't truly seen each other in a year, but as the minutes passed the awkwardness subsided and you both began to grow comfortable in each other's presence. Conversation came easily with Quinn, talking about anything ranging from your favorite music to how life at U of M had been. It shocked you how comfortable talking to him was, because even though you had grown up around him, Jack and Luke had always been there as a buffer, even when you had wished they hadn't. After about an hour of talking with Quinn you heard the familiar sound of another car pulling into the gravel driveway announcing the arrival of Jack and Luke.
Quinn and you immediately hopped up heading towards the door to meet the two boys. You were surprised when Luke dropped his suitcase bounding towards you before spinning you around in his arms. The suddenness of it all caused you to burst out with a pure laughter having missed your best friend so much. You and Luke had missed the look Quinn had given the two of you, but Jack sure didn't, smirking at the look of jealousy on his big brother's face. 
“Let he breathe Lukey” Jack spoke teasing his brother “not all of us have had the chance to say hello to her yet” Jack had finished his thought as he pulled you out of the other boy's grasp enveloping you in a hug of his own. Luke pouts as his best friend is stolen from a grasp, crossing his arm as he speaks up. “Last time I checked she was MY best friend, not yours” His whiny tone elicited a laugh from all of you as you pulled away from Jack.
“Oh Lukey, you don't know how much I've missed you.” Noticing Jack's smile falter at your words you spoke up again “before you say anything, I missed you just as much Jack” your words caused a giant smile to break out on the two boys faces.
After you all spent some time together catching up, you had excused yourself up to your room to begin unpacking for the summer. Your room was just as you left it, your bed made nicely and littered with stuffed animals from fairs and arcades that you had collected over the years. The walls were covered in pictures that seemed to show the story of you growing up, with photos of you at your first birthday party leading up to a photo of you and the Hughes boys last summer. That newest photo was your favorite, it was taken your last day of the trip when Ellen and Jim had stopped by, you were on Luke's back smiling as widely as your face would allow, while Jack was trying to act all cool for the camera. Your heart always seemed to stop whenever you looked at Quinn in that picture, he was wearing just a pair of swim trunks, showing off his toned body, but that wasn't what caught your eye, it was the way he had looked at you and Luke, he had so much admiration in his eyes, and if you didn't know any better, you would've believed that look was pointed at you and you only.
You're broken from your train of thought by the sound of a knock on your door. You muster a quick “Come in” expecting to see Luke, and are pleasantly surprised to see Quinn. “Hey Quinn, what’s up?”
“Nothing I just wanted to spend some time with you, I don't see or hear from you as much as the others do” Quinn admits rubbing the back of his neck.
“To be fair Quinn I you've never made me feel like you wanted to talk to me so I’ve given you your space.”
“I always want to hear from you y/n/n.”
Quinns confession has your heart beating faster in your chest, so much so that you're almost certain he can hear it from across the room.
“Yo- you do?” you struggle to form the words as you try to process what Quinn just said to you.
“Of course I do, I care about you, I want to know what's going on in your life, hell I want to be a part of your life, and not just in the summers.” his eyes are watching you so closely, as if he's trying to read your mind, trying to know your every thought. Your mind is running a million miles a minute as you try to think of a response, as you try to pinpoint the context for which he's saying these things.
“What do you mean Quinn, you are part of my life, you always have been” you finally utter out.
“I mean..” he says as he steps closer to you grabbing your hands “I want to be in your life as more than just your best friend's brother. I want to be the first person you talk to when you wake up in the morning and the last person you talk to before you go to sleep. I want you in the stands of my games cheering me on. I want to spend more time with you than I get, whether that means me coming down to Michigan, or you coming up to Vancouver. I want to be with you y/n. I’m so in love with you, and I have been for years. I can't keep that to myself any longer.”
Never in a million years would you have expected that from Quinn. You stared at him in such awe trying to figure out if this was real or some cruel prank the boys thought would be funny. And as if he knew exactly what you were thinking, Quinn speaks up again
“I know you weren't expecting this from me, I wasn't expecting it either, but after we spent all of that time talking before Jack and Luke got here, and after I saw how touchy Luke was with you, I just knew I couldn't hide this anymore.
After you still hadn't responded, Quinn began to panic a little.
“y/n… please say something.” That was all it took for you to snap out of the trance you were in and respond.
“Quinn, I’m so in love with you. I have been since I was eight years old and you held my hand after I had scraped my knee open. I've tried for years to push my feelings down for the sake of Luke, but also because I never thought you would be interested in me. I've never seen you as just ‘my best friend's brother’ , you're so much more than that to me, and I want all of those things too.”
The second those words left your mouth, Quinn wasted no time grabbing your face and bringing your lips to meet his. At first you were shocked, but you were quick to kiss him back as this has been something you had wanted for years. The kiss was full of passion and promise. Years of pining being made up for by one breathtaking kiss. You only pull away when you're both out of breath, leaning your foreheads together. It's in that moment you remember one detail. Luke.
“Quinn?” you ask, breaking the silence, only receiving a hum in response. “What are we going to do about Luke? How are we going to tell him? Are we even ready to tell him?” you start to ramble, leading Quinn to cut you off with another kiss. This one is much shorter than the last, as he begins to speak “Let's not worry about Luke right now hm? We can focus on us for now and tell him, and everybody else when we're ready. Okay?” The look in his eyes is so comforting, it genuinely has you questioning if you'll ever be able to say no to him. You know deep down you won't, which is why you say “Okay.”
So that's what you did. You and Quinn spent the whole summer focusing on your relationship by keeping it to yourself. That consisted of sneaky make out sessions in dark corners of the house, sneaking into each other's rooms in the middle of the night, holding hands under the blankets during movie nights, and sneaking glances that lasted longer than they should have. It sucked keeping such a big secret from your best friend, but you weren't ready to tell him yet, and you were enjoying your time with the man you loved.
Summer had come to an end much faster than you had ever expected, and that meant you would all be going back to your regular lives soon. You were worried about what that meant for your relationship with Quinn, being new to the whole long distance thing, but you were hopeful nonetheless. Today was the last day you would all be together, and you wanted it to be memorable. Luke had decided that going out to the local club would be the best way to spend your last night together, and of course Jack agreed 100%. 
That's how you ended up here in a crowded sea of people cradling a vodka cranberry trying to make your way back to the booth the boys had saved for all of you. You hadn't even made it more than three feet away from the bar when a hand was grabbing your wrist. Turning you come face to face with a strange man who's very clearly drunk. You try taking your wrist back, but his grip only tightens and he speaks up in a dark gravelly tone “What's the rush doll, I jus’ wanna dance” his words slurring as he speaks
“I don't think my boyfriend would like me dancing with you, i’m trying to get back to him if you don't mind” you tried to stay calm as you tried pulling your wrist free again, his grip bruising now.
“You don't have to lie about having a boyfriend doll, if you don't want t’ dance jus’ say that”
before you get the chance to respond you feel an arm wrap around your waist and hear the voice of your boyfriend say “She doesn't want to dance pal, leave my girl alone before we have problems” 
My girl, even though you knew you were his girl the words still sent butterflies to your stomach and a heat down to your core. At the sight of your boyfriend, the creep lets go of your wrist putting his hands up in surrender leaving you and Quinn alone. 
“Do you want to get out of here?” Quinn practically screams, trying to speak to you over the music. It doesn't take you more than a minute to respond with a yes. The two of you find Jack and Luke and tell them what happened and that Quinn had offered to take you home, and let them enjoy the rest of their night. Luke was worried and didn't want to leave you alone, but you managed to convince him to stay and have fun.
The ride back to the lake house was torture. Quinn's hand rested on your thigh while his other gripped the steering wheel, and he was drawing shapes into your skin, his hand occasionally going higher messing with the hem of your dress. He knew exactly what he was doing, though it was the slightest of touch, it still had you squeezing your thighs together. You glanced over to look at him seeing the mischievous smirk on his face. Shaking your head you tried not to focus on his touch and focus on the scenery on the drive back (it didn't work.)
The second you had made your way into the lake house Quinn was on you. His lips attached themselves to your neck leaving open mouth kisses and nibbling just below your ear eliciting a gasp from your mouth. You turn around in Quinn's hold bringing him in for a needy, almost desperate kiss. His tongue running against your bottom lip requesting access, which you'd be crazy to refuse him. He slips his tongue into your mouth massaging your tongue with his, as his hands start to explore your body. You break away trying to catch your breath as you grab his hand dragging you up to your room. You attach your lips to his again once you're in the safety of your room, hands reaching up to unbutton the slutty black shirt he was wearing. No matter how long you had been with Quinn, you still got nervous in intimate situations like this with him causing you to have shaky hands. You could feel him smirk into the kiss at the shakiness of your hands, as his own reached up to slide the straps of your dress down your shoulders. He was pleasantly surprised to find out you weren't wearing a bra, groaning into the kiss as his hands groped your breasts nimble fingers flicking over your nipples. The sensation had you pulling away from his lips letting out a low moan, spurring him in further as he lowered his mouth taking your left nipple into his mouth. Your hands made their way into his hair holding him to your chest, Quinn backing you up until your knees hit the bed causing you to sit on the edge of the bed. Lowering himself in front of you, Quinn looks into your eyes looking for permission as he hooks his fingers into your panties, you mutter out a quick yes and he wastes no time pulling them off and licking a long stripe up your pussy. The sensation has you arching your back lacing your fingers through his messy brown hair. The only noises that can be heard through the room are the pornographic moans and groans coming from you and Quinn as well as the slick sound of Quinn eating you out. It doesn't take much more before you're coming undone on Quinn's tongue as he helps you ride out your high. You and Quinn spent your last night together, sanctifying your love for each other and cherishing each other's bodies as much as you can before you get separated. 
Nothing could ruin the bubble of bliss you and Quinn had made for yourselves. Or so you thought until you were woken up in the morning by the sound of “WHAT THE FUCK” causing your head to shoot up to see your best friend, whose eyes are locked on the sight of you and his older brother laying naked in your bed.
This was not how you wanted him to find out.
Fin
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jeonqkooks · 7 months
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our beloved summer | jjk (07)
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You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.
pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @wintaerbaer for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3
series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough
multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE
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Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.
Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.
You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.
You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.
You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.
You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.
And if he still cares, then he might come back.
Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.
You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.
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[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)
You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.
It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.
For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.
You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.
Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.
So why are you even going?
You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.
Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.
But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.
When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.
Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.
You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?
You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.
Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.
The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.
You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.
“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.
“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”
You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.
“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”
Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”
This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.
When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.
“What if I’d already left?” you ask.
He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.
“Then I’d go after you.”
How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.
Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.
“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”
“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”
You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.
You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.
It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”
In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.
You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.
Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.
Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.
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For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.
It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.
You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.
“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”
You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”
He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”
You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.
“By what?” you ask.
“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”
See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.
That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.
You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.
Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.
“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”
The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.
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Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.
You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.
Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.
“How is it?” Jungkook asks.
It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.
“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.
“Hmm.”
He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.
There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.
He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.
It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.
You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.
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You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.
That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.
It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.
You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.
You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.
Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 
Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.
You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.
You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.
For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.
You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?
He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”
She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.
You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.
“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.
She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.
You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.
Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 
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Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.
You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’
When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.
Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.
Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 
Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.
When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.
So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 
“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”
“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”
You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 
“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”
Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”
“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”
“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”
“Huh?”
“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”
You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.
“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”
And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.
You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 
You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.
When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.
He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”
The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.
“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”
“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”
You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”
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You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.
The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.
It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.
“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 
“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”
“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”
You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.
You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.
“Are you cold?” he asks.
“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”
He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.
You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 
“No, you don’t have t-”
“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”
The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.
He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.
His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 
“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.
“Okay.”
“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 
“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”
You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.
“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.
A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”
You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”
“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”
“Why are you talking like that?”
“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”
“This is you being nice?”
Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.
“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”
“It’s not even my wedding.”
“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”
You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.
You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.
He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 
You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.
You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?
“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.
You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.
Being here brings back so many memories.
It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.
You long for things you cannot change.
Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.
He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.
Should?
“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.
“I know.”
You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”
He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.
And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.
Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.
“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”
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[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘
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[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw
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You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.
When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.
You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.
Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.
You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.
When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.
You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.
It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.
You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.
That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”
You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.
You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.
It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.
You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.
When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.
You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.
It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.
It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.
It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.
You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.
You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.
It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.
You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.
When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.
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Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.
You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.
He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.
“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”
“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.
“I showed you how, remember?”
“That was a long time ago.”
He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”
Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.
You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.
You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.
The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.
You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.
Could that have been us?
If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.
If the answer is no, then it would hurt.
The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.
You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.
“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.
“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.
His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”
“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”
“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”
“Nothing happened.”
“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”
“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”
You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.
You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.
The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.
For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.
Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.
He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.
Loved? That sounds funny to you.
The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.
“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.
“Did we?”
“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”
That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”
Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.
“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.
His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”
The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.
When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 
It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.
“It’s lonely,” he concludes.
It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.
He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.
What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.
When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.
“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.
“Y/N-”
“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?
You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.
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It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.
The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.
Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?
It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.
The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.
You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.
You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.
Oh.
Yoongi.
It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.
Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.
But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.
There you go. Ruining things again.
Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?
The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.
It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.
Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.
You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.
Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”
You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”
He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.
“I said I’m fine,” you insist.
“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”
He didn’t, at least not tonight.
God, you really don’t want to do this right now.
“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”
You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.
You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 
“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”
Damn him.
You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.
You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.
You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.
The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.
I miss you, you think.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 
Fuck.
Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.
Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.
You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.
Oh, you never want to leave.
You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.
You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.
Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.
You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.
You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.
But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.
And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.
He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.
You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.
But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.
Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.
Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.
He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.
You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.
It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 
You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.
He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.
Then a feeling, I love you.
Not then. Now.
I love you now.
I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.
When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.
You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?
“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”
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note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬
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all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]
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hunterrrs · 7 months
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photos from here, I NEED FOOTAGE OF THIS. also this article is a great read. he’s invited some families who lost their homes in the halifax fires to practice:
By the time you read this, Pittsburgh Penguins players will have munched on the pudding known as haggis, made from the livers, hearts and lungs of sheep. And learned how to shuck oysters, in all their slimy, gooey glory.
All courtesy of Sidney Crosby, the Pittsburgh captain, who brought team building to an entirely new level on Saturday. From the moment months ago that he learned the Penguins would be playing here, Crosby was stoked. A proud native of Cole Harbour, 10 miles from Halifax, the 36-year-old began planning out his transformation from NHL star to tour guide.
“I think just the feel of it, the people, and to see the excitement for the game,” Crosby said Friday. “And just to get around the city a little bit, those types of things.
“It’s somewhere that I’m really proud of, and I hope everyone enjoys themselves there.”
In order to do that, he set something up with a unique Maritime flavor. Welcome to “The Amazing Race: Crosby Edition.”
“When Sidney found out the team was coming here, he wanted to find a fun way to celebrate his hometown with his teammates and educate them on why it’s such a special place,” his father, Troy, said.
He seems to have done exactly that.
After a morning of golf Saturday, the unsuspecting Penguins set out on an “Amazing Race”-like scavenger-hunt competition that would take them through the streets of Cole Harbour, Dartmouth and downtown Halifax, and across Halifax Harbour on a ferry.
Under the format, the players were divided into teams. They were given instructions of where to go, what venues to visit and what tasks they were to do (e.g., eating haggis, shucking oysters), all while going up against the clock.
The instructions came on laminated cards featuring the Penguins logo and a “Welcome to Cole Harbour” greeting.
The message on one of the cards read, “Every player has to shuck two oysters and eat them or have a teammate eat them on their behalf. Careful with that knife, and don’t break any shells!”
Crosby enlisted the help of Paul Mason, one of his baseball and minor hockey coaches, to help plan the event. Mason was paramount in setting up the three Cole Harbour Stanley Cup celebrations in Crosby’s honor, and No. 87 didn’t hesitate when it came to the perfect person to set up this event.
“In organizing this, when he talked to me about it, he wants this entire weekend to be pretty special for the community, for his teammates, for everyone around him,” Mason said. “You can sense how much these few days mean to him. You could sense his anticipation for months.”
Mason said that even though Crosby is the host for his teammates this weekend, he’s going to try to win everything: golf, the scavenger hunt, the preseason game Monday, you name it.
“He’s competitive at everything, even as a little kid when I was coaching him,” Mason said. “And that hasn’t changed.
“When the NHL was shut down during COVID, his dad Troy and I played Sidney and one of his friends in a golf match. They should have won, but somehow we did. He didn’t accept that. He said it was two out of three. When we won the second one he said it was three out of five. We ended up playing seven of them. The seventh one was in December with snow on the ground. They won that one to take the series 4-3. Suddenly that was acceptable because they’d won.
“Once they’d finally won, it was over,” Mason said with a laugh.
During some of those summers, Greenwood has helped organize some of the offseason skates featuring Crosby, MacKinnon and Marchand at a local arena. The competitiveness gets intense at times, something Greenwood said helps all three drive each other.
“Yeah, they’re friends,” he said. “But when they start playing against each other at times, you’d never know it. They want to beat one another at any and all costs.
“You can see how that drive, that determination, that win-at-all-costs attitude rubs off on some of the younger guys.”
Count Drake Batherson as one of them. The 25-year-old Senators forward grew up in New Minas, 50 miles northwest of Halifax, and has been training during the offseason with Crosby, Marchand and MacKinnon since 2019. He calls those workouts “one of my favorite times of the year.”
As such, he’s looking forward to facing Crosby and the Penguins in Halifax on Monday.
“I've still got posters of the Penguins and Sid on my wall at my parents' house, so it's pretty fun now that me and Sid have built a relationship and we're buddies," Batherson said. "It's pretty cool looking back on it.”
It was a tough spring and summer for Nova Scotia.
In late May and early June, wildfires raged through the outskirts of Halifax and throughout the province. More than 16,000 people were forced to evacuate as a result, many eventually returning to find their homes were nothing more than heaps of smoldering ashes.
Less than two months later, the area was hit with record rainfall that caused historic flooding. Water did seep into Crosby’s home, though to nowhere near the extent of some others where people pretty much lost everything.
“The area has been through a lot,” he said. “But the great thing about some of these communities, and the area in general, is that everyone sticks together and everyone’s willing to help each other.
“I think when you’ve seen adverse times here over the years, you’ve seen people come together more and more. And I think we take a lot of pride in that here. The fact that people know they can depend on each other is huge. I think we’ve shown that time and time again, and there’s pride that comes with that.”
Crosby is doing his part to teach local kids exactly that.
On Sunday, the Penguins will hold a practice at Cole Harbour Place. Hundreds of children from the local minor hockey systems have been invited to attend and take part in a Q&A session with some Pittsburgh players and, with a select few kids getting to go on the ice with them.
Part of that group will be kids from minor hockey whose families lost their homes in the fires. Crosby specifically wanted them to attend, with Mason helping to make it happen. Given the trauma they and their families have gone through, it is Crosby’s way of trying to brighten up their lives, even if it’s just for one afternoon.
“That’s Sid, right?” Greenwood said. “He’s going to have an impact on these kids, both on the ice and off.”
He already has.
In 2009, Crosby established the Sidney Crosby Foundation, an organization that improves the lives of children who are sick or struggling. More recently, Crosby and several foundation board members created Nova Scotia Showdown T-shirts heading into the game Monday, with proceeds going to his foundation.
“He’s helping young kids who are going through hard times, and he’s being a role model for young hockey players in the province,” Mason said. “He’s going out of his way to show his Penguins a good time here, and he’s being a great ambassador for the community.”
Greenwood agrees.
“It’s a privilege,” he said, “to say you live in the same place as someone like that.”
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pennylanefics · 4 days
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Nighttime Comfort - Seth Jarvis
a/n: thanks to @human-trainwreck for the idea of the "best friend's younger brother" trope! i got the idea and ran with it and finish this in one night <3 if anyone has more seth ideas, send them my way! i had more ideas and definitely missed some things...part 2 maybe?? 👀
summary: you've always seen your best friend's little brother as just that, until one night, after thinking about him for months, everything changes when he comforts you after nightmares
warnings: mention of nightmares (no descriptions), slight age gap (i envisioned seth being 22 and reader being 23 or 24, so not terrible, but it's brought up multiple times)
word count: ~4.2k
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“Seth should be gone by the time we get home, so you won’t have to deal with him while I’m out,” your best friend Daisy says to you as you near her home. The two of you had been out shopping all day, finally having time to spend with each other after your hectic schedules failed to line up for so long.
With your job at a local publishing company and the influx of demands your boss needed to meet the proper deadlines, and her traveling with her boyfriend, who is a hockey player in the NHL, it was hard to meet up. But finally, now that the off-season is here and your work has slowed down some, you could meet up and catch up on all the lost time.
“You know I don’t mind him,” you tell her. “He’s fun to be around.” She rolls her eyes at your words and you can’t help but laugh.
You grew up next to Daisy and Seth in Winnipeg and as time went on, you and Daisy became nearly inseparable, doing everything together and playing in each other’s backyards every day after school. That also led you to becoming rather close with her younger brother, only two years younger than you and her, but he was always around as their parents practically forced Daisy to include him.
Not that you minded, he was very amusing and a great joy; he was extremely chaotic and energetic, and was always trying to get you to laugh and mess with you in a teasing and fun way. Daisy was so embarrassed by him every time, but you truly weren’t bothered by it. 
Things changed a little right before you entered high school. During the summer between eighth grade and ninth, your family moved away, although it was still in the same district and within driving distance, no more than fifteen minutes. It did hinder your ability to see her and Seth outside of school or on the weekends. Things did go back to normal when you and Daisy got your licenses and could see each other whenever.
As the years went on, things continued to change and shift. With Seth going into the NHL, and Daisy becoming a WAG for the Winnipeg Jets, you rarely had time to see them over the past couple of years, but through different interviews and videos of him from the Hurricanes and other media, you could tell Seth was still the same guy you grew up with and knew so well.
“I haven’t seen him in a while anyway. I think the last time was around Christmas, when he came home. That was almost seven months ago.”
“Believe me, seven months is not enough time away from him,” she grumbles, making you throw your head back in laughter.
He was always the life of the party. He could light up a room with his energy and sweet smile just by walking into it, and he’s cheered you up countless times after numerous events that upset you over the years.
And you didn’t want to believe it, but deep down, you always felt something more for him. Some little voice in your mind was screaming that he’s a sweetheart and would be an incredible partner. But you pushed that idea down for many reasons, one of which is because you figured he never would see you as anything more than his older sister’s best friend; it was an unspoken rule, really, and neither of you wanted to cross that line.
The two of you drag your number of bags into her house, where you were staying for the week since her parents were on vacation and your apartment was being renovated because of a flood issue on your floor.
“Just set them down and we can go through everything when I get back,” she states.
She needed to run an errand with her boyfriend, to check on his grandmother about an hour away and bring her the prescription she needed. That meant you would be alone for the next three hours or so, and after the long day you had, it was exactly what you needed.
She left shortly after dropping everything off, and in the meantime, you showered and then ordered some food. Everything in the house was calm, you were watching your favorite TV show on the TV, and it felt peaceful to have this kind of downtime after a full, busy day.
But that peace was quickly ruined an hour or so later. The time rolled around to 7:45 and in comes Seth and a couple guys, who you recognize as fellow players on the Hurricanes. Turning around, you stare at them, wide-eyed in surprise, and as soon as Jarvy takes the sight of you in, he shouts excitedly.
“Oh my god! What are you doing here?!” He yells, running over to you on the couch. Standing, you jump into his arms to hug him tightly, inhaling the musky scent of his cologne, a smell you’ve thought about every day since you got a whiff of it on Christmas. 
“My apartment is being worked on and since Daisy and I haven’t had time to see one another very much, she invited me to stay here. I know she said you are back here for a short while, but she said you’d be out.”
“What, not so happy to see me??” He teases, shoving your shoulder playfully once you pull away from the hug. “Yeah, well, the guys and I wanted to go to some bars, but after sitting around we decided to come back here and play video games instead.” He points to the two men behind him, one who has blond hair and piercing blue eyes and one has short brown hair and deep brown eyes.
“This is Jack and Jesperi, or you can call him KK,” he points to the brown-eyed hockey player, who smiles sweetly at you and waves.
“Nice to meet you guys. I can move up to Daisy’s room if you’d prefer the living room. She’s still gone and I don’t know when she’ll be back.”
“Oh no, don’t worry about that!” Jarvy stops you from moving your things. “We’re going to the basement to play, we won’t bother you at all. Unless we have to come back up for snacks and drinks, but we’ll try to keep it down.”
Chuckling softly, you nod and watch as they file into the furnished basement, yelling and shouting as they go. Thankfully, the noise wasn’t too loud to distract you, so you go back to watching your show with no worry.
As the hours tick by and your eyes start growing heavier, you knew you should have headed up to Daisy’s room to get some rest instead of on the couch, although their couch was rather comfy. It was a large sectional, big enough to fit their entire family for movie nights.
You were curled up in one corner of the L-shaped section, under a soft, fuzzy blanket that was keeping you warm. The low lighting that you had set in the living room and with the quiet lull of your comfort TV show was enough to ease you to sleep, though you were unaware.
Suddenly, you are jolting up, your neck feeling slightly sweaty and clammy, your breathing slightly erratic and your eyes trying to adjust back to the bright TV that remained on. Slowly, you become aware of your surroundings and turn to find Seth sitting near you, a worried expression on his face.
“Are you alright?” He wonders, his voice low and calming, not wanting to startle you anymore than he has. “You were mumbling something in your sleep and shaking a little.”
Your hand wipes across your face as you shift your body to sit up a little. Being in the moment, you were finally able to get a really good look at Seth, since earlier you were too taken by the excitement of seeing him and meeting new people.
His hair was long in the back, but on the sides, you could tell that he had recently gotten them shaved down some, but the top section flopped over to hide that area; it was something that was visible when he wore a hat, and it was a look you always liked. His facial hair was newly trimmed, his beard slightly scruffy and his mustache somewhat full.
He was wearing an old Canes t-shirt, the neckline cut off to fit him loosely, and a pair of basketball shorts that were slightly smaller than usual, riding up his leg and showing a small glimpse of the tattoo on his right thigh.
“I-I was having a weird dream,” you murmur, taking a couple deep breaths. Seth moves a little closer, sensing all you needed was some comfort. “What time is it?”
“Around 11:30. Daisy called me and said something came up and she won’t able to make it back tonight. She said she tried calling you but you weren’t answering. Now I see why,” he answers with a lighthearted laugh.
“Yeah, I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here. I should head upstairs.”
Seth thinks for a moment before he holds his hand up, silently telling you to stay put.
“Give me two minutes,” he says before darting off. You sat there, confused as hell as he ran up the stairs, leaving you alone once again.
You quickly text Daisy back, letting her know you had fallen asleep and everything was good, and that you’d see her in the morning, before reaching for the glass of water that had been left untouched for the past few hours and taking a large sip. 
Minutes later, Seth comes trudging down the stairs with his comforter and an extra blanket, along with two pillows. He also had a change of clothes for himself, and once he reaches the couch, he piles everything onto the cushions at your feet.
“We’re having a little sleepover,” he states. “My sister ditched you so I’m stepping in. Plus we haven’t spent time together in a long time so we have to make up for it.” He winks and laughs at your shocked face.
“You really don’t have to do this. What about KK and Jack? Aren’t they downstairs?”
“Nope. They left right before you woke up. They’re staying in a hotel nearby so they’re gone for the night. Just you and me.” 
After he gets everything set up, he runs off to the bathroom down the hall to change and when he returns in a pair of sweats and a different t-shirt, he sighs heavily and stares down at the couch.
“Okay, so I’ll sleep this way, and you can sleep with your legs out that way so you have more room,” he tells you, waving his hands all over. He specifically pointed to the spot you were sitting in, how he’d have his legs on the cushions jutting out and you would sleep perpendicular to him.
“Where would my pillow go?” You wonder, grabbing onto the extra one he had from his bed. You can’t help but smile at the scent that covers it, a mixture of Seth’s shampoo and conditioner and his cologne. His comforter was the same way, soaked in the smell of his body wash, a woods-y and earthy scent that you were most familiar with, similar to his cologne.
“Here,” he gets situated on the couch, his legs stretching straight out on the cushion. He places the pillow down on his legs and pats it, signaling that’s where you can lay. It was nothing out of the ordinary, really, the three of you used to sleep on each other like this when you were younger, more innocent.
Not that he was asking in an inappropriate way now, but it was something you figured you’d grown out of. But being too tired and too scared to fight, you just laugh it off and get under the covers. He left his comforter for you and used the two blankets for himself, something you found unfair to him.
You place your head in his lap, against the pillow, and immediately, his hands start playing with your hair softly, making sure not to tug at any knots that he couldn’t see. He was more so twirling the ends for his own comfort, something you picked up on when you were kids.
After laying there for a bit, no words spoken between the two of you, the guilt of him being down here, keeping you company was rising in your chest; you knew you shouldn’t have felt this way, but he didn’t have to do all of this.
“Seth, you don’t have to sit down here with me,” you suddenly sit up, looking over at him. A hurt and confused look crosses his face as he adjusts his body.
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to, trust me. I know how you used to struggle with nightmares and no one should be left alone after having one.” His voice is gentle and soothing, trying to get across the fact that he wants to be here with you, and it’s no obligation or issue at all.
“I think I’ll be okay,” you whisper. But he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 
“Well I’m not leaving,” he shakes his head. “What’s going on? I thought it would be nice to see each other again and be with one another now that you’re here.”
You pause and let his words sink in. He was right. Why were you pushing back? But with one look into his brown eyes, lit by the soft glow of a nearby salt lamp you had turned on earlier, you were very aware.
You had fallen for Jarvy and now there was no denying it.
You think back to the last time you saw him, in December. You couldn’t quit stealing glances at him throughout the day, watching as he laughed with his loved ones and how bright his unique smile was, how much you loved seeing it and how you longed to be the reason he was smiling so joyfully.
How you longed to hold his hand and cuddle up next to him on the couch, watching whatever Christmas movie was playing on the TV, surrounded by your family and his, having him press kisses to your temple.
It made your chest feel all warm and fuzzy thinking about what being his partner would be like. Was he serious in times when it was needed? Or did he used humor and laughter to cope with everything?
“(Y/N)?” He waves his hand in front of your face, bringing you back down to earth. You sigh softly and grin at him.
“Sorry, was just…thinking about something. But you’re right, it is nice to see you and be able to spend time with just you…” you trail off, hoping the tone of your voice didn’t give your little crush away. He smiles at you and opens his arms.
“So how about we cuddle instead? I’ve been told I give wonderful cuddles in times of need like this,” he states playfully, which in turn makes you giggle. He gives you that bright, wide smile as you move your body, but before you can super comfortable, you motion for him to switch positions and lay parallel with you, so both of your legs were on the actual couch rather than the sectional.
Since the space was big enough, you both fit rather comfortably, once Seth finally gets settled. You curl into his left side, nuzzling your face into chest, your eyes fluttering closed. What you couldn’t tell was the fact that Seth’s heart was racing in his chest at the turn of events. 
He’s now under his own comforter, your legs tangling with his underneath. His arms wrap around you, holding you close to him, and one is softly rubbing up and down your back underneath the covers. It’s such a sweet and intimate movement, and it makes your own heart beat faster.
Silence falls over the two of you, neither of you knowing what to say, but instead, you enjoy the silence and the presence of each other.
“Would now be an acceptable time to admit that I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time?” He whispers, avoiding moving in case you wanted to pull away from him. But to his surprise, you stay put, reaching for his right hand that was stroking up and down your arm.
“You have?” You wonder, a little taken aback by his admission, threading your fingers with his. He watches in curiosity but smiles as he feels your touch in his.
“Yeah. Ever since you came home from school that one day in eighth grade, I was in sixth. You said some boy made a comment about you and you cried to me because Daisy wasn’t home yet. I-”
“You started telling me all these strange things about what the kid does and how awful he is to try and get me to laugh,” you fill in his sentence, remembering back to that day as clear as can be.
Seth had started telling you weird things that were very obviously not true, but what else is an eleven year old supposed to say? He was making things up like, “he keeps his boogers on a piece of notebook paper in his binder” or “his fingernails grow so fast he has to have them cut every day, and then he saves them to try and get in the Guinness Book of World Records for most amount of nail shavings collected”. Outrageously ridiculous statements.
But by the end, you were laughing with him, forgetting about all the mean things he said about you, and thanks to Jarvy, feeling better about yourself, even though you knew none of what he was saying was true.
“I know we were never super close the way that you and Daisy are, but I could never deny my crush for you. I expected you to think it was weird, considering I’m her younger brother and that’s all I knew I’d be. But goddamn, seeing you again, especially in such a soft and laid-back setting, it’s reignited that feeling.”
You were truly speechless. You had no idea what to say. He really had a crush on you?
“Then I think it’s fair to admit that I also like you, but pushed it away because I thought you only ever saw me as, well, as your older sister’s best friend, I thought it would be weird. But I like you a lot, Seth.”
His hand drops yours and it comes to rest on the side of your face, gently bringing your chin up to look up at him. His eyes were filled with adoration and tenderness as his hand cupped your cheek, careful with the amount of pressure he was using, letting you know you could push him away at any point still.
“So when was the moment you fell for me?” He asks, that crooked smile threatening to break. Heat rises to your cheeks when you realize you don’t have a story similar to his.
“This past holiday season. When you came home for Christmas, I realized quite a few things, and one of them is I can’t deny that I have feelings for you and wish what it would be like to be yours,” you whisper to him, gazing into his eyes. His thumb rubs against the apple of your cheek as you explain your side. He then takes a moment to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and it sends your heart into a frenzy.
“Oh really?” He pushes in a teasing manner. “Like what?”
“Like falling asleep in your arms, but in a more romantic way than platonic way when we were younger. Being able to come up and hug and kiss you whenever, wearing your jersey to your games, knowing that only you and I know that I’m yours and the most important person in the crowd wearing your number.” He can’t help the blush that dusts his cheeks at your last comment. “And I can assume that’s something you’ve thought about plenty of times, right?”
Seth laughs and nods his head, still looking down at you with so much love.
“I won’t lie, I have. And you’d be able to get a WAG playoff jacket, and how adorable you’d look in them.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest as he continues to hold your cheek in his hand.
“You know, my parents always joked with your parents about when we’d get together. And Daisy always shut them down whenever she heard them talk about it because how weird, right? But there was one night, a few years back, right before I was drafted. We were in the backyard, looking up at the stars, and she told me I should go for it with you, if I liked you. How she thought we’d be good together, how I’d treat you right and how you would love me for as I am. I think she could always sense that I liked you more than a friend, but was too scared to say it because you two were friends first, and pretty close.”
You are stunned by his words. You never knew Daisy said that, but to hear that she thought her brother was good enough for you, you knew that this decision, or whatever outcome for tonight was going to be, it was going to be a good choice.
Seth is a good guy, and you’ve seen this for many years. Now, you are seeing him in a different light, one where his smile sends butterflies to your stomach rather than a simple “Daisy’s younger brother is so adorable” kind of way. One where you got to see the fun and excitable, puppy-dog energy side but also his serious and down-to-earth side where he could settle those feelings and be real with you.
“Now that I think about it, around that time she did start trying to push me for gossip on if I thought you were cute or if I was seeing anyone, because she was wanting to set me up with someone. And I’m going to safely bet that it was you.”
He chuckles and then clears his throat, becoming all serious again. But you have one more comment you need to get out.
“I love your smile,” you state. His cheeks redden slightly and your own smile tugs at your lips. “I’m not sure what it is about it, but every time I saw it in an interview, or some fun little video, and especially at Christmas, I can’t help but fall harder and harder each time.”
Your statement elicits that lovely smile from him, but in a more bashful sense, something you never thought you’d see.
“You’re so adorable,” you giggle, reaching up to hold his face in your hand as well. The tension between the two of you was thick, and with your breathing mixing together, you were starting to get dizzy from it all. 
This was all so much.
“Can I…” he starts, but hesitates, trying to gauge the look in your eyes. He takes a deep breath and then continues. “Can I please kiss you now?” 
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you from how he phrases his words. He sounded so desperate but also so careful.
“Please,” you beg quietly, inching your hands into his hair to tug at the locks at the back of his neck to pull him down towards you. Within seconds, your lips meet in a searing but gentle and nervous kiss, both of you testing the waters for now. But when Seth feels you leaning more into it, he deepens it just slightly, not wanting to go too far tonight, but also wanting you to know he’s serious about this and it wasn’t a one-off thing.
The kiss ends much to your dismay when Jarvy pulls back, his forehead resting against yours.
“Go on a date with me,” he all but demands. This elicits a giggle from you before you kiss him once more.
“Of course I will,” you reply, moving down to cuddle back up with him. 
Finally, the two of you were settled in all cozy, no longer on edge and wondering if one thing is going to upset the other. Now that the admission of your feelings was done and over with, the two of you could relax against each other, knowing this meant more than just two friends falling asleep with one another.
With his soft touch running along your back, soothing you to sleep, you were out like a light in minutes, but Jarvy stayed up, watching whatever episode of your show that was on, often looking down at you to make sure you remained asleep. 
He fell asleep not long after, the grin on his face remaining there like it was stuck forever, holding the person he loves most in the world, feeling like he was on cloud nine, knowing life could only get better now that you two had admitted your years-worth of pent up feelings
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peachhcs · 1 month
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I feel like will and Sammy were one of those friends that like took naps while cuddling, or maybe at any free time they would be together, sometimes they said flirty comments to each other and still be like “we are best friends, we would never like each other”
no, no we’re just friends | the wonder years
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
1.5k words
takes place fall of will’s first dev program year (samy is a junior) this was genuinely so fun to write. i added some more plot to it, i hope that’s okay, but keep sending in requests for the wonder years i love writing their younger dynamic!
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a weekend of no hockey games? not even traveling? those types of weekends were rare for the boys. 
they'd been on the move since the start of the season in august meaning two straight months of nonstop hockey every day, every week, every weekend. things were hectic–chaotic even—but they loved it. playing hockey everyday? it was the dream and so was finally getting to sleep in on saturday morning without worrying about waking up at ungodly hours for morning practice. 
the boys scattered themselves across the hughes family living room after a long night in ann arbor. what other way would they spend their free weekend besides driving an hour to samy's house where ellen welcomed them with open arms—secretly excited that her house was filled with people again. 
things were quiet now that the brothers were gone even though luke came back every weekend to do his laundry. 
samy excitedly showed them around the city she grew up in for most of her life with will chirping in every now and then with tidbits from the places he's visited. surprisingly, the boys were really into the museum of art by the university, especially ryan and drew. 
"no way someone painted that," ryan mumbled as their gazes stared up at the large 4 foot painting hanging off the wall. 
"i could do it better," aram shrugged earning a slap on the arm from jacob. 
"no you could not," the brunette muttered, shaking his head. 
the two began quietly bickering about who could paint better. will rolled his eyes before flicking over to briefly meet samy's gaze who lingered beside the blonde. she softly giggled at his friends' antics which resulted in a soft smile on the boy's lips. 
"i'd really like to see you guys try and paint," samy cut into their bickering as she led the way to the next painting. 
"you think we can't paint?" jacob raised his eyebrow at the girl. she only shrugged. 
"let's be real, you can't paint to save your life," ryan added with his own laughter. 
"uh, i can to. i took art classes my freshman year," jacob defensively crossed his arms. 
"ooh, so cool," ryan's mimicry voice made the group laugh. 
the banter didn't stop the entire time they were in the art museum. at least not until they made it to the natural history museum where the boys were really excited to look at dinosaurs. samy couldn't help but giggle as she watched the six boys hurry to see the t-rex up close. 
"how do you think they got it here?" gabe wondered. 
"a plane?" drew raised his eyebrow. the dark-haired boy smacked him on the arm, rolling his eyes. "smartass," gabe mumbled. 
"what's your favorite dinosaur?" will wondered over the commotion of the other guys. 
the girl's eyes slid to his, sparking some in the light while she thought about her answer. "good question. i really like rhinos. they don't have any in this museum though," she finally decided with a tiny smile. 
"didn't quinn buy you a rhino stuffed animal however many years ago?" the blonde asked. 
"he did! it was like my 7th birthday or something. i can't believe you remembered that," the youngest hughes chuckled. 
"only because i remember we sent you the nerf guns after being upset all summer that your brothers had them and you didn't," will informed making samy laugh again. 
"those were the best gift. i think we still have them in our basement somewhere, but i definitely lost all the..what do you call them? pellets?" the two shared another small laugh before the group headed to a different exhibit. 
after the museums, luke graciously met up with all of them and took them to dinner close to campus (but secretly ellen sent him money to pay for all eight of them because poor luke was a broke college student). the boys were definitely excited to see luke and they got him into a long conversation about hockey and what college was like. 
samy and will were at one at one end of the table where they immersed themselves in their own conversation again letting the others talk luke up because the two already saw him all the time. 
"happy there's no saturday practice tomorrow?" the brunette wondered, sipping on her lemonade. 
"mhm. i don't think i've really slept in since like..i moved here," will chuckled. 
"do you ever sleep in though? i'm pretty sure i always hear you awake at like eight in the morning with luke and jack at the lake house," samy raised her eyebrow which brought a flush to will's face. 
"you gotta get up early to hit the green," the boy argued referring to all the times they went golfing. 
"oh, right, right. how could i forget?" samy made a face. 
a small silence settled between them as their eyes drifted down the table where their friends excitedly talked with luke. something warmed in both of their chests seeing how well they everyone got along. samy really couldn't be more happier that will introduced her to these boys and seeing how much her brother loved them all too. will thought the exact same thing. 
the two years ahead were gonna be the best years. will knew it and so did samy. 
it was late when the group made it back to the hughes house. ellen and jim already had the air mattresses blown up meaning everyone immediately collapsed on sight after changing into pajamas. samy made herself comfortable beside will who briefly scrolled through his phone. the girl had a small cup of ice cream in her hand, quickly offering some to the blonde. 
"mm love rocky road," will hummed as he took the bite. 
"i know we have the same taste," the brunette giggled. she fished around for the remote before turning the tv on the lowest setting and flipping to some random movie playing. 
the girl stretched out, letting her eyes grow sleepy. her head dipped onto will's shoulder making the boy flush briefly before he hooked his arm around her own shoulders. this wasn't abnormal for the two, especially after the past summer. they'd become a lot more touchy with one another, always poking and prodding—so a head on the shoulder as samy fell asleep wasn't something the two thought twice about. 
not until the morning where they were in the same position except samy's head fell more onto will's chest with one of her arms spread out across his torso. the guys woke up before they did and ryan was the first one to notice the sleeping pair curled up on the couch together. 
"dude, look," the brunette nudged drew's shoulder who slowly sat himself up while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 
"are we sure smitty doesn't like her?" drew mumbled with a tiny snicker. 
"he's gotta or something. i mean look at them!" ryan exclaimed. 
all of the guys were still in denial about will saying he didn't have feelings for samy and never has. they were literally staring at the two asleep together. gabe, aram, and jacob woke up a few minutes later hearing ryan and drew's voices. 
"why are you guys talking so damn loud?" aram grumbled. 
"look at smitty and hughesy," ryan urged his friends. the other three shifted their gazes towards the sleeping pair and they immediately understood what the fuss was about. 
"damn. if i didn't know any better.." jacob trailed off earning laughs across the group. 
"should we wake them up?" gabe asked as ryan took some pictures on his phone for later use whenever will wanted to try and deny his feelings. 
"i think your voices were loud enough.." samy's eyes fluttered open. the boys immediately quieted down, but the smirks didn't disappear on their faces. 
samy slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. will shifted against the couch, his own eyes opening up too. 
"good morning love birds," ryan sang. 
"oh this again," samy playfully rolled her eyes. 
"what do you mean this again? you guys were literally cuddling," aram pointed out and all of the guys nodded in agreement. 
"and?" the girl raised her eyebrow, gazing over at will briefly who was now fully awake. 
"and? y'all are acting like a couple!" ryan exclaimed again. 
samy and will instantly bursted into laughter which left the boys silent and confused. 
"no, no we're just friends," the brunette got out through her laughter. 
"friends don't cuddle," drew cut in. 
"yes they do. i cuddle with my friends all the time. you guys are just afraid to," samy argued, pushing herself off the couch. she looked down at will for confirmation. he saw the guys' looks, knowing exactly what they were thinking. 
"come on, we're just friends. it's nothing," the boy agreed with samy. 
"exactly, thank you. can we stop making a big deal out of it and get breakfast?" the boys looked between the two for a few more seconds before deciding to drop the subject for now, but still not believing a word either of them said. 
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moonsgemini · 10 months
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american heartbreak - i
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summary: all June Summers wants is to be Rafe Cameron’s date to the county fair dance. Everyone from town would be there and she was tired of going alone. She was tired of watching him dance with other women, tired of waiting around for him.
warnings: cowboy!rafe x oc (minimal to no oc description, mutual pining, angst, fluff
wc: 2.7k
an: I hope you guys enjoy! I love cowboy rafe. I also just love writing au’s there’s so much more room for creative freedom. I basically just use rafe as a face claim bc drew starkey is a literal greek god.
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The sound of June’s boots as she paced back and forth behind the counter were beginning to drive Amber crazy. She was trimming tulips to make a new bouquet but she could barely concentrate when the her coworker was an anxious mess. The soft sound of music wasn’t enough to drown out the clacking of boots against wood. June bit her fingernails anxiously, her stare not leaving the floor as she was lost in thought.
“June I swear I’m going to kill you if you don’t relax,” She scolded the girl who stopped abruptly.
She smiled sheepishly, “I’m sorry, I just am really nervous. What if he like laughs at me or something?”
Amber rolled her eyes, “That boy would never laugh at you.”
“You never know. What if he like thinks I’m crazy or worse never speaks to me again after he rejects me because he feels so bad!” She exclaimed dramatically.
“How do you even sleep at night with all this worrying?”
“I don’t get much of it.”
All week June had been practicing over and over in her head how she would ask her lifelong crush, Rafe, to the county fair. At the end of the night there would be a dance that the whole town went to. It was a big deal around here, and going with a date was a big deal. Every year there would be some new surprising couple that would be the talk of the town for the next few weeks before some new gossip spread. June had been pining over Rafe Cameron like a love sick puppy since they were eleven years old when boys started becoming cute and not gross anymore.
She had planned on asking him when he came in this afternoon. Rafe always came in on thursday evenings after practice to buy a fresh bouquet of flowers to take to his mom’s grave. A tradition he started in high school, the day before the rodeo, he’d go visit his mom. To this day he swore she was his goodluck charm. When June started working at the flower shop at sixteen she was ecstatic to have another excuse to see Rafe.
She glanced at the clock on the wall and her palms started sweating, it was six now which meant he was out of practice by now. June decided to make herself busy in the mean time to occupy her jittery fingers.
Rafe parked outside the small flower shop and let out a sigh of relief. Being at the flower shop on meant it was the end of his practice week and now he just had to worry about riding. It also meant he got to visit his favorite girl, and he wasn’t talking about his mom.
He looked into his rearview mirror of his old pick up truck and adjusted his hat. Checking himself to make sure he didn’t have any dirt or muck on his face. He got out of his truck making long strides towards the door. As he entered that all too familiar bell jingled alerting June and Amber or his presence. The smell of fresh flowers over took his senses, as well as the presence of his favorite flower girl.
June looked up from where she was picking the leaves off of the carnation stems. Her eyes widening for a second, her face beginning to feel hot as she smiled shyly at him. Suddenly any ounce of confidence she had to ask him about the dance left her body. That smirk he always wore turning her into a pile of mush. She’s surprised her legs were still holding her up as he walked over to the counter.
“Hi Rafe,” She said softly. Amber smiled to herself as she watched them interact. She sneakily walked into the back room to give them some privacy. It was a little routine she did whenever Rafe came in.
“Hi sweetheart, whatcha got today for me?” He asked resting his palms against the counter supporting his weight as he leaned towards her.
He was such a natural flirt. She could barely look him in the eyes most of the time, “we just got a bunch of beautiful tulips in so I made you a bouquet of purple ones with some baby’s breath,” June walked over to the one of the bucked holding an abundance of bouquets, “I also put a few daisy’s to add a bit more to it.”
She showed him the bouquet proudly. A wide smile spreading across his face, “That is beautiful. You’re so good. Mom will love them.”
June knew Rafe’s mom. She cared for everyone in town like they were all her family. Whenever June would be over at their house hanging out with Sarah she would make them food, always let them ride horses. When they were really young she’d let them play in the rain and get all muddy, when other mom’s in town would scold her for letting the kids look like a mess. She was the sweetest woman.
“Always the best for her,” She fidgeted with her hands nervously. If he knew the effect he had on her he’d be too powerful.
He pulled out his wallet and handed her a twenty. Since he was their best customer she never charged him more than that. Clueless Rafe just thought that was how much each bouquet was, “Am I seeing you tomorrow at the rodeo?”
She nodded, “Of course. I might help out Mrs.Mayfield sell raffle tickets.”
“Always the helpful one. I better see you at the Rooster after,” He pointed at her scolding playfully. Roosters was one of the local bars everyone went out to.
June laughed softly, “Maybe, I doubt you’d even notice if I wasn’t there.”
“Darlin I always notice when you’re not around,” He smirked, “I better get going to see mom.”
“Goodluck tomorrow Rafe,” She smiled with a small wave as he began walking out.
He tipped his hat at her with that cute lopsided smile on his lips, “I’ll see you tomorrow Ms.Summers.”
June watched him walk out to his truck, a dumb love struck smile on her face. That crush she’s had on him since second grade was never going away.
“You chicken.”
She jumped and reached to clutch her chest, “Oh my god you scared me.” She scolded her friend.
Amber had her arms crossed leaning against the doorway to the back, “You didn’t ask him!”
“I couldn’t! My brain got all blurry. I-I just can’t handle the thought of rejection. Especially not from him.”
“Did you not hear everything he said to you?” She walked over standing in front of June, “He practically was begging you to go tomorrow. Verbatim said ‘I always notice when you’re not around’ um hello?”
June shrugged, “He’s just being nice, that’s just Rafe.”
Amber stared at her with a deadpan expression, “I wish I could put you in a choke hold right now.”
She rolled her eyes, “I’ll try to ask him tomorrow after the rodeo.”
“I’m sure you will. But we’re definitely going out after,” She smiled.
-
June and Amber had been friends since they were in diapers. Their moms being best friends themselves it was almost a given that their two daughters would be just as close. After they graduated high school they took all the money they had saved up and rented a cute little house in town. Now they were working on buying out Mr.Robertson for his flower shop. They had been working in it since they were fifteen and they wanted it to be their’s. Mr.Roberston kindly offered to sell it to them since he was getting too old to take care of it himself and once he sold it he’d move to Florida with his daughter.
The girls were close to buying it, needing a few more months to get the rest of the money. Most people wanted to move out of the small town they were born in but that wasn’t June or Amber. June liked it there, she liked the familiarity and the comfort it brought. She liked her life here, she liked living with her best friend and working with her too. She liked being five minutes away from her parents. June felt lucky to be where she was and have the people she had in her life.
After closing they had stopped by the grocery store to pick up stuff for dinner. Now headed home in June’s dad’s old mustang they enjoyed the cool summer afternoon breeze and listened to their favorite artist, Taylor Swift. June felt like she had the perfect life. The only thing she longed for was someone to be by her side. Of course she had Amber but she wanted a romantic relationship. She wanted someone who could hold her at night and take her out on dates.
It’s not like she hadn’t tried to get a boyfriend. June had gone on a few dates but they never ended well. She was seeing Liam, a local mechanic, for a month but then she saw him flirting and kiss another girl at Rooster’s. After that she went on a date with a local bull rider, one of Rafe’s teammates, but he never called her after the night was over. June thought it was because she didn’t put out on the first date. She doesn’t know that it was because Rafe cornered the guy and threatened him. Told him if he ever went out with you again he’d tie him to his truck and drag him across town.
Amber had her own boyfriend, James, who was friends with Rafe. They worked together on the Cameron farm and occasionally helped coach Rafe. June has refused his attempts to set her up with Rafe more times than she could count. James moved to town a few years ago after he heard that the Cameron’s were looking for another ranch hand.
“Wanna invite Sarah for dinner?” Amber asked as they carried the groceries into the house.
June shrugged, “Sure, we haven’t seen her since she left for Charleston.”
“I’ll call her, can you get started on the potatoes please,” Amber said as she started dialing Sarah.
“yeah yeah,” June rolled her eyes playfully as she unpacked the grocery bags.
The three girls were all friends in school and Sarah ended up moving to North Carolina for college once they graduated. They managed to stay as close as possible with the distance. Sarah is Rafe’s sister and of course she knew of June’s infatuation with her older brother. Sarah wanted them to end up together, always talked about how perfect it would be to have her as a sister in law.
When they were younger and June would go to Sarah’s house she always prayed she’d run into Rafe. Occasionally she would but he was the same old Rafe back then. Would make slightly flirty comments towards her making her flustered and making her crush on him grow.
-
The girls sat around the dining table laughing at old stories from their childhood. Every time they got together it felt like they were fifteen again sneaking alcohol from Ward’s liquor cabinet and turning into a fit of tipsy giggles.
“And then Rafe came out from the barn and June practically jumped on him she was so excited to see him,” Sarah laughed tilting her head back.
June covered her embarrassed face at the memory, “Oh god! I forgot about that.”
“That was the closest you’ve gotten to him like ever,” Amber added, “You need to drink tequila again.”
“That will probably be the closest I get to him ever,” She said a hint of sadness in her voice.
“June you should just ask him out yourself. Forget all that old fashioned stuff. My brother would never be mean to you.”
June took a sip of her wine, “I know he wouldn’t be mean but it’s the rejection that turns me away. He could have anyone why would he want me. He also is always out with some other girl. She’s usually a lot prettier than me.”
“June Summers you know I don’t tolerate that negative talk in our house,” Amber scolded, “You are beautiful and he would be lucky to have someone like you. I also highly doubt he’d reject you.”
She smiled at her, “And how do you know that?”
Sarah rolled her eyes, “Because he’s like practically in love with you! He doesn’t great other girls the way he treats you. He also looks at you different.”
“Then why has he never asked me out! It just doesn’t make sense. I’d rather keep him as a friend than lose him completely.”
“I wish he didn’t have such a thick skull then maybe he’d have some sense,” Sarah stood grabbing the girls empty plates to take to the sink.
“Fallin off too many bulls in his life,” Amber giggled.
June stood to grab the bottle or wine to refill their glasses, “Oh I’m gonna head out soon. Rafe is picking me up on his way home from James’ and he texted me he’s on his way,” Sarah said beginning to wash the dishes.
“Come on so early?” Amber gave her puppy eyes.
She laughed, “Yes, I have an exam online in the morning I still need to study for. That masters won’t get itself ladies.”
“Speaking of James has Amber told you that she thinks he’s going to propose soon,” June smirked trying to forget about the fact that Rafe was coming to her house soon.
“Shut up!” Sarah exclaimed.
“I know! He’s been so suspicious lately! He’s been working a lot and he’s not so subtly asked me for my ring size last month. Then he went to the city last week but he didn’t want me to come because he said he was doing some boring errands for Ward,” Amber’s cheeks began hurting from smiling so much at the thought of her boyfriend, “But I don’t believe that for a second. I think he went to buy a ring.”
“Oh please get married soon! I want to be a bridesmaid,” Sarah said excitedly as she dried her hands. There was a knock on the door as she finished, “That’s me, go get the door June while I get my things together.” She smirked at her friend.
“I hate you guys,” She whisper shouted in case he could hear them. Amber practically pushed June to the door.
She took a deep breath fixing her hair a bit before opening the door. He stood looking the same as he did earlier that day, still just as handsome as before. He smiled as soon as he saw her, he was really hoping it’d be June answering the door.
“Hi Rafe,” She said softly. Her timid demeanor returning whenever she was around him, he made all her confidence vanish always.
“Hi sweetheart, how are you tonight?” He asked with that cute smile he always wore around her. For a second she pretended he was picking her up for their first date.
“I’m good, and you?” She asked politely still stuck in her daydream.
“Better now, is Sarah ready?” He asked breaking her from her fantasy. Truthfully Rafe didn’t want the conversation to end but he knew he was there for a reason.
“Uh yeah she’s just getting her things,” As if on cue Sarah showed up next to June.
“I’m ready,” She hugged June tightly, “I’ll see you tomorrow Juney.”
“Does that mean you’re going out tomorrow with everyone?” Rafe asked with a smirk, a hopeful glint in his eyes.
“I guess so, can’t say no to this one,” She smiled nodding her head towards Sarah.
“I’m her favorite what can I say,” Sarah shrugged smirking, “Come on Rafe I gotta study.” She walked towards the truck leaving Rafe behind.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then June bug,” He tipped his hat at her like he always did before walking down the porch steps.
“Bye Rafe,” She waved and waved towards Sarah who was smiling at the pair from inside the truck.
June spent the night praying that the words Sarah said earlier that night were true. That Rafe somehow was in love with her. But she couldn’t help that voice that was always in the back of her head telling her how that could never be possible.
Maybe tomorrow she’d have some tequila.
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iheartzegras · 1 year
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different type of love -jack hughes
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request: @your-mom369 14 and 18 with jack?
prompts: “i don’t want to be just friends anymore” and “what’s the matter? you can tell me”
requests are still open, and my prompt list is pinned!
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you and jack had been best friends since the first grade. inseparable really. you both never left each others side, no matter the distance between you two for hockey, you still talked daily.
it all started when you had moved to toronto during the summer. you just so happened to become neighbours with the soon to be familiar boys. as your parents were taking the boxes inside from the van, you saw jack and his brothers playing outside. jack particularly caught your eye because of his energy. you were normally a shy girl, but he really did look like he would be a fun person to stick with.
a couple minutes later you felt a tap on your shoulder. standing behind you is the boy that interested you the most. he held out his hand and introduced himself. “hi. im jack, i live next door!” he said while grinning like a fool. “hi, im y/n” you shyly said. “it’s okay, don’t be shy! wanna be friends?” “yeah sure!”
that one small introduction, lead to a lifetime friendship. after that day, the two of you, occasionally his brothers that you found to be quinn and luke, would always play after school. even at school, the two of you would stay by each other’s side the whole time.
fast forward until now
ever since you and Jack became best friends, his family invited you to the lake house every year. this year in particular you were extra excited because you got to see jack. you hadn’t seen jack since he moved to new jersey for hockey.
after packing your things, you began your drive to the lake house. it was quite a long drive, so after making some stops on the way there, you finally arrived. it looked just the same. the deja vu coming back every time you came.
waking inside you were greeted by luke and quinn who both yelled “y/n!” at the same time. although your bond with jack was seemingly better, you also were incredibly close to the pair of brothers as you practically grew up with them. you were like a sister to them, and they were like your brothers.
as you walked into your designated room, it was refreshing. everything still in its place from last summers events. this space was your comfort place. the smell of the room just like your perfume. you plopped right on your bed, and before you knew, you were dead asleep.
you were harshly awoken by a tall figure jumping next to you on the bed. with your vision blurry you tried to see who it was. looking a bit closer you realized, it was jack. oh how you missed him too much. you practically jumped into his arms and giving him the most loving hug you’ve ever given.
“jack!” “y/n!” the two of you yelled in synch. you both dove into another hug, but this time with passion. that was new. to say that you haven’t thought of you and jack being a couple, was a lie. you definitely have, but you brushed it off because you felt as though it would never work. maybe some old feelings were being brought back up.
later on, after dinner, some of the other friends showed up. trevor who you had grown close with greeted you with a big hug and then whispered something into your ear. “so, you and hughesy? i think you’ve got something going on” to which you replied with “what, where did that come from? and no, we’re just friends.”
all of you were sitting by the fire roasting some s’mores. everyone was busy, but you couldn’t help but replay what trevor said to you earlier. could jack feel anything or was he just joking? do you like jack more than a friend? too many things crowded your mind as you tried to relax but couldn’t. you needed to be alone to gather your thoughts.
“hey guys, im gonna head off to bed. goodnight!” you announced and hugged each of them. when you got to your room, you had changed into some shorts and an old t-shirt. you got into your welcoming bed and tried to doze off.
after hours of trying to fall asleep, you couldn’t. you had been restless all night and nothing helped. you decided to sit on the deck to see if the cool night air would help.
opening the door to the deck, you stepped outside and quietly shut it. you took your favourite seat that you had claimed to be yours, and sat down. you had gotten all trapped looking at the stars that you hadn’t noticed that someone had joined you. “what’re you doing out here all alone?” jack asked. “nothing, just couldn’t sleep. that’s all.”
too much silence had been happening for your liking. you look over at jack and said something truly bold. “have you ever thought of us as something more than friends?” you asked. he responded with “yes, actually. why? what’s the matter? you can tell me.”
after more silence you quietly said “i don’t want to be just friends anymore” “pardon?” he asked you to repeat. “i don’t want to be just friends anymore” you repeated louder.
jack was astounded. he wasn’t upset though, because secretly he had felt the same way all along. he paused for a minutes before responding again. “thank god. i couldn’t deal with the pain of being just friends for any longer. i’ve liked you since we were sixteen and skating laps around the rink holding hands.” he admitted. “really?” “yes. y/n, this is a big question, but will you be my girlfriend?” “yes of course jack!”
the new couple sat happily next to each other before jack took you inside to get some rest. the two of you cuddled for the rest of the night.
your childhood friendship had blossomed into something much more passionate and loving. as a small child, you would have thought such love would be intimidating and gross, but now, you feel so much more. it’s indescribable how much you feel for the man you love. it had only been a few minutes since he asked you to be his, but you already knew, he was the one.
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ahhh, omg! im in love with this fic!
this was one of my longest pieces (i’ll still try and write longer in the future)
hope you all enjoyed! 🫶🫶
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mediocre-daydreams · 2 years
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wildest dreams | finnick odair x reader
summary: you and finnick promise to stay by each other's side, even as you're pulled into the quarter quell.
w/c: 2.3k
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
he said, "let's get out of this town drive out of the city, away from the crowds" i thought, "heaven can't help me now" nothing lasts forever but this is gonna take me down
“i don’t know what to do,” you whispered, eyes unfocused as you worked your way through the initial shock after the quarter quell announcement. “finnick, i don’t think i can make this one- i don’t think i can make this work.”
finnick said nothing. there wasn’t much to say anyway. in his (and your) darkest moments, you’d always been the optimistic one; you’d pulled finnick from rock bottom on numerous occasions, always promising that “i’ll make it work.” hearing you so despondent stripped finnick of any remaining hope.
“there’s- there’s-” finnick choked. “there’s mags and- and annie. we can make it work. this is going to work.” both of you knew finnick’s words were useless.
you sniffed loudly and collected yourself, slipping your hand under finnick’s chin so you could tilt his head up to meet your gaze. “don’t say that, finnick. we just have to- this is happening. mags is so old, finn.” your lower lip wobbled. “we both know she wouldn’t last a day. and annie’s not- she wouldn’t make it either. and every day she’d spend in the arena would be excruciating for her, mentally—you know i couldn’t-”
finnick cut you off. “well, maybe you’re a better person than me, because i can’t—i won’t—let you go in there and die. it’s not happening. please,” he muttered, “i can’t lose you again.”
finnick was referring to the 68th hunger games that you’d won at 17. you had been so close to the cutoff and the odds of living another year were quite literally in your favor. you supposed you’d been born unlucky, seeing as you were living off a buff overlooking the sea that reeked of fish in the summer and froze over in the winter.
finnick had been your mentor. he’d won his games at 14 and was dubbed a capitol prodigy, whereas, at 14, you’d been making money playing maid for the richer side of town; the extra income was necessary if your family wanted to even scrape by.
your father’s presence at home was practically nonexistent; out fishing for the longest hours possible to support you and your siblings’ educations. your oldest brother had dropped out of school to help, and the two of them were insistent that you, your mother, and your younger brother would never have to risk long hours on dangerous waters.
however, they couldn’t stop you from finding other work, and you dedicated nearly all your free time to scrubbing floors until your knees turned red and doing laundry with cracked, dry knuckles. you thought your reaping was a death sentence—your only skill set comprised of household chores and writing lunchbox notes—until you’d met finnick. he’d promised to keep you alive, and you’d promised to come back to him. when you saw him for the first time after being pulled from the arena, you’d kissed him hard. you promised you’d never leave his side.
“you won’t lose me if we’re both in there together, finnick. listen, you know that the only chance someone from four comes back alive is if it’s one of us. i’d rather die by your side than die alone, finn. ‘cause i wouldn’t be able to keep going without you anyway.”
finnick let out a furious roar and buried his face in your shoulder. he was silent for a while, before he mumbled into your neck, “maybe we don’t have to go. we could run away—me and you. get as far away from the capitol as possible; they won’t come looking for two missing people when everyone’s in the middle of preparing for the quell, right? they wouldn’t- fuck, i can’t let you go.” you felt tears press into your skin.
“you know that’s a lie,” you sighed. “there’s no helping it now, finnick. the card’s been read and snow’s made up his mind and there’s rebellion brewing and we can’t… we can’t run, even if we wanted to. b-but our families too, and our friends, and what about our future? running away is a death sentence. at least in the arena, there’s a chance that one of us could survive.”
finnick pulled himself from your shoulder reluctantly. his eyes were bloodshot and beginning to puff. “i promised i’d never leave you, didn’t i? and i’m not-” he croaked, “i don’t break promises. i swear to you, i’ll be with you forever.”
your lips pulled into a frown. “nothing lasts forever.”
he’s so tall and handsome as hell he’s so bad but he does it so well i can see the end as it begins my one condition is:
ceaser flickerman’s purple theme this year was throwing you off. he was wearing a rich, velvet suit—royal purple, you think—but sported soft, lavender tresses that reminded you of the bouquets your father would bring home for your parents’ anniversaries.
the energy of the audience was noticeably different; wary, even. it seemed like each tribute had come up with a similar idea of subtly snubbing the capitol’s choice, by spinning gut-wrenching stories, wielding their capitol favorite status, or cursing everything out entirely (that was only johanna, though). the audience ate it up.
finnick was a natural on stage; he’d always been. he’d spent the past decade at the capitol, acting, acting, acting. sometimes it was unnerving how easily he could flit between personas.
“so,” caesar leaned in, raising his eyebrows theatrically, “i hear you’ve got a message prepared for a special someone.”
finnick pursed his lips, hiding a bittersweet smile. you hadn’t been aware he was there to recite any ‘message’ and you prayed it wouldn’t make you cry on live broadcast in front of all panem.
“my love, you have my heart for all eternity. and if…” finnick’s voice wavered. “and if i die in that arena, my last thought would be of your lips.”
you noticed how he skirted around saying the word ‘forever.’
the women in the audience swooned, and caesar made some comment about how finnick absolutely needed to win the games so he could come back and reveal his mysterious sweetheart. he droned on—something about weddings, capitol favorites, power couples, and the normal buzzwords that would spike ratings.
“ahh, your fans must be devastated knowing that your heart has been captured,” caesar teased.
finnick smiled back politely. “well, my heart’s only ever belonged to her.”
you clenched your teeth, knowing finnick had just thrown his entire ‘venture’ with the capitol residents out the window. you couldn’t imagine what twisted repercussions snow would inflict upon him.
“oh, he’s bad! he’s a bad one!” caesar laughed, slapping his hand on his thigh. “now, we’ll let the audience speculate for a bit. thank you for your time!”
finnick didn’t spare you a glance before sitting with the other victors, which you were grateful for. you presumed he was crying, and you were also on the verge of tears.
“it’s our favorite girl, back in the chair!” caesar waved you into the armchair beside him with delight. “now, it’s been a few years since we’ve last seen you. i’m sure we’re all dying to hear what you’ve been up to.”
you weren’t sure if caesar had meant to make a pun about death, but you presumed not. it could jeopardize ratings, though you wouldn’t put it past any capitol citizen to joke about murder in their spare time. the hunger games was their entertainment, after all.
“honestly? i’ve mostly been missing the fruit jellies here. i’ve been spending most of my time back ho- in district four, but i’m so glad to be home.”
caesar placed his hand over his heart and pretended to swoon. “did you hear that?” he cupped his ear towards the audience. “home!” he turned back to you. “we’re truly honored, my dear.
“now, i just have to know, is there anybody special watching this right now?”
you began to shake your head, but caesar caught the movement. he put his hand up. “ah-ah-ah,” he tutted. “you are quite a favorite amongst the crowd, isn’t that right?” he bounced jovially on his seat upon hearing excited cheers. “yes, and i’d imagine there’s quite a line up of admirers?”
“well,” you dragged, much to the suspense of the viewers. “there is somebody in my life at the moment. we’ve kept things private for now, though i suppose there’s no point in that since i’m returning to the arena. i just wished that… well, for the 68th games, i promised him i’d come back to him. and we’ve been very much in love since then.”
you didn’t have to fake tears for the sake of a sob-story performance. these were real. “i didn’t think i could ever find a love like his. i thought my time as a tribute was over, you know? that was the only reason why i promised i’d stay by his side forever. but now… i’m breaking that promise because i’m going back in the arena. we’re all breaking so many promises.”
you didn’t need to say it outright, but the tributes and a good majority of the audience caught on quickly. your words were double-edged—many of the tributes wouldn’t be returning home to their families if they had one, but that the capitol had broken its promise too. there was tense bubbles of conversation arising from the audience members.
caesar quickly diverted the subject. “it sounds like both our district four tributes have secret sweethearts! perhaps we’ll be lucky enough to see one of these happy couples unite. and… that is all we have on time! it was a pleasure, as always.”
when you sat next to finnick, his eyes darted across your face incredulously. “why would you say that?” he mouthed, eyes wide.
“it doesn’t matter at this point, does it? we might as well let everyone know. the star-crossed lovers act seems to be working out for 12, even if they’re overplaying it. but i don’t care. if i’m going in there to die, i’m not going to spend my last days hiding my love for you.”
finnick’s eyebrows furrowed. hesitantly, he reached his hand out from where it rested on his lap and leaned over to grasp yours. the gesture was small but intimate, and you watched as the camera split screen to zoom in on your intertwined fingers as it continued to run the interview.
“forever. even if it means dying by your side, i promised you i’d stay by you forever. and i never break a promise.”
say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset, babe red lips and rosy cheeks say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams
the area, as expected, was a shitshow. dealing with katniss and peeta’s dramatics during the day was enough (you had to cut them some slack, though; they were only teenagers), but quiet evenings on watch were truly the worst. you hadn’t gotten a minute alone with finnick since the games started. there was so much that needed to be said, but you couldn’t. not when you’d sworn to protect the mockingjay; even the tiniest slip of the tongue could compromise your mission.
“finnick and i can take watch for tonight,” you suggested. katniss eyed you suspiciously. “seriously, peeta needs to rest—no objections, blondie—and you’ve got… the baby to think about. so let finnick and i handle this. please.”
there was a silent exchange as katniss’ eyes flickered over to finnick’s, which were deep with mourning at the loss of his mentor, mags. katniss nodded and began settling in for the night.
you and finnick sat in silence for a while, listening to the odd chirp and hum of whatever horrifying mutations the capitol had concocted for the quarter quell. you dug your fingers into the dirt, uprooting blades of grass and little weeds. you admired the way the moist earth of the jungle clung beneath your fingernails and stained the pads of your hands dark brown. it was a nice contrast against the nail polish that refused to chip away.
“finnick?” you whispered, continuing to look downward. finnick hummed in acknowledgment. “i don’t- i don’t want this to be the last thing you remember about me.”
finnick wrapped a heavy hand around the back of your head to pull you close. the two of you knew there were most likely cameras hidden around, so he tucked your faces together until you were touching foreheads. he brought his hands up to caress your cheeks, simultaneously covering your lips from the cameras and giving you some semblance of a private conversation.
“don’t talk like that. we- you’re going to make it out of here,” finnick murmured. you knew he was talking about the district 13 hovercraft, though he couldn’t say it outright. “and these fucking games don’t mean anything to me. you’re so much more than that. you’re the only place that i feel safe; like i’m away from the games.
“and i promise you, i really promise, that i’ll always love you. not because of how you’ve helped me through the games, or because of the games at all, but because i love you. you’re my sunshine. you’re the one good thing in my life. and it’s like i know you’ll always be there, just like i know that the sun will always rise. and even when the sun sets, i know i’ll see you again in the morning.”
you laughed breathlessly, rubbing your nose against his. “you’re such a fucking sap, finn.” you pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “i love you.”
finnick pushed you away comedically and just like that, it was back to camera-friendly banter. “eugh, you smell like tar.”
“yeah? well you- you look like you’re decomposing! so there.” you giggled at finnick’s twisted face as he pretended to be insulted.
“but you said i’m your pretty boy,” he pouted.
“in your dreams, finnick,” you snored. “only in your wildest dreams.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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possibilistfanfiction · 4 months
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Hi can we have some hallmark AU from Beas POV? Maybe their first Meeting?
despite what you know everyone believes — and what most of them aren’t afraid to say — you’re not lonely.
it’s a good life, the one you have, the one you have earned for yourself and made with your bare hands. it’s quiet, sure, and there’s solitude, and perhaps your therapist didn’t mean, a few years ago, that you should move far out of the city when they suggested you get away for a little while to be further from your parents and the feeling of this specter of trauma that floated all around that city, afraid you might see them at every turn. 
even if it was an accident — or maybe because it was an accident — it had been easy to fall in love with this place, with the mountains and the cabin with floors you refurbished and bathroom tiles laid by your own hands, the practical clothes that fill your closet, the boots lined up neatly by the front door. 
you had fallen in love with a family more complete and full of grace than you had thought possible — mary and her warm, safe bar; camila who always shares her books; lilith who helped you, despite a near panic, cut your hair for the first time; shannon and the ranch full of animals she always treats with such care; everyone who took care of you — with joy, without judgement or resentment — after top surgery, suzanne driving you to and from the hospital, four hours each way, and then a rotating cast of company and food, tidying around your home that has become theirs too, while you healed, and had, months later, mortifyingly whistled relentlessly the first time you went swimming in the lake the next summer. suzanne comes over sometimes with a bag from the farmer’s market to make you dinner and split a bottle of wine; camila has never forgotten your coffee order since the first time you went; lilith never complains on hikes that make you both bend over, exhausted by the time you summit, with matching grins; mary and shannon have you over every year for your birthday, throwing you a big party even though you insist you’re fine without. you are celebrated and seen without reproach, a miracle in itself.
you have theo, a great love of your life, no matter what anyone says, who had wandered up to you quite bravely the first time you went out to the ranch when she was still tiny, not quite coordinated, still downy and velvety soft in the way only her ears are now, with black freckles on her white chest and sharp puppy teeth when she chewed on your finger. you fell in love with the way she made shannon and suzanne laugh when she squared up with the sheep, much bigger than her, her fearless and ineffective attempts at herding both promising and adorable. she was never meant to be a working dog on the ranch full time, so when suzanne offered her to you as a companion who could work some days with the stock, it had felt like things slid into place. you talk to her and she tilts her head to listen; you laugh together and explore and she curls up, spine to spine, during the middle of the night; at sunrise you feed her scraps of bacon from your plate when she rests her head on your thigh. 
you love and are loved so much; you are not lonely.
you know the entire town is meddling and loves to gossip, lilith being the worst even if she swears she’s not invested at all. camila is obvious about it, getting to know every person who ever visits to try to set you up with the ones she deems “eligible,” which, at this point, you think just translates into someone you would find physically attractive — not narrowing it down much — who is “probably” (camila’s words) single. it’s a lost cause, you’re fairly certain, even though everyone insists it’ll happen one day.
you should know to bet against god, or love, or fate, or whatever, because it’s an average day just like the others when you meet ava. 
you had been reading a twitter thread the day before about how metaphors are relational only; they are rarepairs; they never fully tell the truth. it runs through your mind the first time you see her, laughing by shannon’s side, the snow just beginning to fall — you’ll think back on it years later and have no words or associations to really tell the whole truth of what you felt: like a door had opened in front of you that you had thought was a wall, or suddenly the grey light of the waning afternoon sounded a gentle purple, or planets and stars and the entire universe. there’s nothing but the truth of ava: her smile and her dark eyes and her cane getting caught in the fresh snow every time she takes a step, clearly annoying her but going unmentioned. her impractical puffer jacket, her red cheeks. you have never felt a pull like this before in your life, and it unsettles you.
theo barks at you, embarrassingly, after you’ve just been standing still, your world reorienting. she’s tired from working the sheep back from pasture to the barn before the storm, probably wanting water and a nap in your warm truck as you head home. you scratch behind her ears to soothe her and she shakes you off, still annoyed, which makes you laugh and follow as she trots along in front. 
you haven’t felt this young maybe ever, suddenly blanking on literally any words when theo goes up to shannon — and, so, ava — and you don’t even know her yet, have never heard her name yet, but she beams at you.
‘beatrice,’ shannon says, and all you can do is offer up a weird, awkward wave, which shannon lifts a brow at, her smile sharpening when she sees what must be a blush on your cold cheeks, ‘this is ava; ava, this is beatrice.’
you take off your leather work gloves before offering your hand to shake.
‘wow,’ ava says, ‘that was so chivalrous, i loved it.’ before you can even respond, she leans forward excitedly. ‘and who is this?’
‘this is theo.’ theo, for her part, waits patiently by your side as her tongue lolls out in a happy, tired smile, her little coat admittedly very cute. ‘you can say hi, if you want. she loves people.’
ava is delighted by this, and she crouches down and pets theo happily but considerately, not getting too excited or up in her space. ‘i know you said she loves people, but i’m feeling very special right now.’
you laugh. ‘she has that effect.’
ava eventually stands, and you kind of resent shannon for leaving at some point in the last thirty seconds while you were both distracted. ‘do you —‘
‘—where are you—‘
‘apologies,’ you say.
‘sorry,’ ava says.
you reach out and touch her hand gently, briefly, enough to send a shock of electricity — warm and new — through you. it’s starting to snow harder, and you had planned to beat the worst of it and settle in for the night. ‘did you drive here?’ you ask, forgoing your first desire to ask where are you visiting from? or how long will you be staying? or why are you here? 
ava laughs. ‘nah, mary gave me a ride. i was at the bar and she was telling me about this place; i do marketing and social media for an agency in the city and it sounded like the ranch could use some of my incredible expertise, maybe, for fundraising views. plus it sounded cute, so i wanted to see it and she offered. anyway —‘ she rambles and then takes a deep breath. ‘she didn’t say anything about you.’
you feel, mortifyingly, for a moment, like you might pass out, but you gather yourself. ‘oh, i, uh, i just volunteer here. with theo. we work stock. i don’t —‘ you clear your throat and ava looks on, grinning, ‘do you need a ride back to town?’
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afewproblems · 1 year
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Part Two of my Stranger Things Steddie AU, Steve always fall first, falls fastest. You can read part one Here!
Eddie watches as Steve peels out of the driveway, staring straight ahead with a blank vacant expression on his face. He looks at Jeff, who shrugs and takes one last hit from their joint before flicking it onto the concrete and stubbing it out.
Eddie frowns, Steve usually waits until Eddie is ready to leave before they both drive home, saying one last goodnight on the driveway.
The evenings grow longer and longer with each passing day as they crawl their way into summer, but it's dark now. The warmth of the day gives way to a cool breeze that ruffles Eddie's hair, and rustles the grass. He shivers lightly and rolls his shoulders before turning on his heel towards the garage. Light streams out from the door, illuminating Eddie's puzzled face as he walks back inside.
Gareth looks up at him, catching his eyes once before they drop to the bottle in his hands. His fingers play with the paper label, peeling it up at the corners.
Steve would always show up, like clockwork, every Sunday with a six pack of some variety, and sit in on their practices. It's nice, not something he ever would have predicted after surviving being nearly eaten alive by a bunch of bats from another dimension.
But if the new scars and nightmares come as a set with a few new friends that had dragged him out of Hell, who was he to complain?
He likes Robin, likes her dry wit and stubborn attitude, she loves fiercely once you've been chosen but doesn't seem shy about calling you an idiot if you deserve it.
He likes Nancy, likes how smart and unexpectedly tough she is, the woman can shoot a gun like no one's business. She's a bit more prickly than Robin, which is saying something, but she cares a lot.
He likes Steve.
He really likes Steve.
Steve, who had picked him up when he was bleeding out and ragdolling in the Upside Down and carried him through the last open gate. 
Steve, who sings along to Tears for Fears and Wham! in his car only to turn around and pull out a Queen cassette from the glove department.
Steve, who bitches and moans about driving the kids around to the arcade or to the Munson trailer for D&D nights, but never says no.
Steve, who stays up with Eddie during movie nights and listens to his wild ramblings without interrupting. He smiles and asks questions that prompt even longer responses, and seems content to simply listen.
Steve, who is definitely straight as an arrow, and would probably panic if he found out about Eddie and his little secret.
"Hey uh," Eddie asks after a beat, reaching for the last unopened beer in the cardboard, "did Steve have to go?"
He twists the cap and flicks it towards the bin, it bounces off the lip and clinks against the floor.
"Woah, I didn't know we knew Larry Bird?" Jeff snorts as he wanders through the door and exaggeratedly ducks with his hands over his head before dropping next to Gareth on the couch. Eddie rolls his eyes as Jeff relaxes against the sagging cushions and drapes his arms along the back.
Gareth's eyes flick once to Jeff before coming back to rest on Eddie's face, "I uh, dunno man, I think Steve  just had to go home. He didn't really get into it".
Eddie frowns at the tense line of the bassist's shoulders.
"Who cares man,” Jeff scoffs with a smirk, “now we can actually talk about our set list without having to stop and explain every little thing”.
Gareth winces and closes his eyes with a shake of his head.
"Oh, fuck off," Eddie snarls as he steps towards Jeff who freezes at the sudden proximity, "I didn't say anything when you insisted on bringing Mary O'Donnell around to every other practice two years ago--"
"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" Jeff growls as he stands up, rising up to Eddie's eye level, "I liked Mary, you told me to go for it?"
"Exactly!" Eddie yells. He breathes in sharply as the words finally register.
Oh shit.
"Oh shit..." Gareth whispers.
Jeff's mouth opens and closes, his expression jumps from incredulity before dropping into shock.
Eddie had done a lot of growing in the last few weeks if he did say so himself, and he did - loudly and to whoever would listen. He could be brave, he had proved that with Dustin and the bats, he had proved that by diving into Lovers Lake to chase after Steve.
Bravery was no longer a first for him, he could stand his ground and hold firm in the face of adversity. 
But the Upside Down had nothing on admitting that he had a crush on the former ‘King-Steve’ to his two best friends. 
Eddie whirls around and walks out of the garage. 
He makes it about twenty feet before rapid footsteps echo behind him, not that he had been moving all that quickly.
The world feels as though he's wading through quicksand, each step dragging him down, he sighs and stops walking. 
Gareth catches up, mild surprise etched on his face. 
Eddie's eyes trail from Gareth back towards the garage, Jeff stands in silhouette just outside the door. 
"Come on man," Gareth says softly, "just come back inside, we didn't know--"
"What am I even doing," Eddie mutters, he scrubs a rough hand against his face, "I know how it sounds dude, you don't have to chase after me, I know I'm being an idiot". 
Gareth freezes for a moment and crosses his arms. His eyes scan Eddie's face as though he can read every wild thought traipsing through his mind, it's not a comfortable feeling.
In the distance Jeff cups his hands around his mouth and yells, "Gareth! Did you tell him, we didn't know?" 
Gareth rolls his eyes and throws a hand behind him to swat the air, as though he wishes Jeff's head were there instead.
"For what it's worth," Gareth says with a sigh, "I don't think you're being an idiot…" the words come out in stops and starts, as though each one is weighed carefully before being released. 
Gareth was always careful when he spoke, more level headed than Eddie and Jeff, that's why they worked well together. Whenever Eddie or Jeff said something that went too far, Gareth was ready to pull them both back down to earth. 
"Steve actually seems like a decent guy I guess, kinda surprised about it but whatever,"  Gareth shakes his head once before breathing out through his nose, "and you're absolutely sure about this?"
Eddie doesn't even think before he nods, "Yeah man, I'm crazy about him". 
Gareth hums, his eyes haven't left Eddie's face once the entire time they've been standing on the sidewalk in the dark, they are in between street lights but that doesn’t seem to stop Gareth from reading Eddie like a book. 
"Okay, I'm going to tell you something, but if this goes absolutely sideways, I cannot be held responsible in any way," Gareth says once again in that slow, measured pace.
"Jesus, I've never known you to be this cryptic man, I kind of love it," Eddie huffs nervously, his hands dropping to his jeans to wipe the sweat from his palms. A light breeze catches him once again, caressing his hair as it billows down the lane, he shivers. 
"Steve likes you, we all know -well maybe not Bozo over there," Gareth gestures back towards the garage where Jeff continues to linger, "but you're not an idiot".
Eddie blinks. 
Steve likes him. 
Steve likes him? 
"What uh…what are you talking about?" Eddie manages, the words stick to his tongue, his mouth suddenly drier than the sahara. 
Gareth breathes out heavily and shifts, his hands come back up to cross over his chest. 
"Dude, please don't make me explain it, you seriously didn't know?"
"No?!" Eddie hisses, his hands climb to his hair, gripping the wild curls and pulling harshly. Steve liked him? How long had this been going on for? How long had he been completely oblivious? 
"I mean, I kinda thought you were waiting him out, trying to let him down easy, you're not the kind of person to string someone along so I hoped it wasn't because you liked the attention," Gareth mumbles with a shrug. 
Eddie's heart beats a wild staccato as the information continues to sink in, Steve likes him…
"Oh my God," Eddie whispers, "oh my God I-I have to go," he steps away, his shoes crunching against gravel as he turns on the spot, "I have to talk to him!" 
Gareth nods, a small bewildered smile blooms on his face as he shakes his head, "I mean, yeah man, go get him?" 
Eddie takes off past Gareth towards his van, still parked on the driveway, he flips off Jeff as the other man hoots and blows a kiss after him.
But it doesn't matter. A giddy euphoria bubbles up from his chest and throws itself from his lips as a wild cackle. He tosses open the door to the van and scrambles inside, Gareth's words echo over and over in his mind, Steve likes him, he has a chance!
The normally twenty-minute drive from Gareth's parents place seems to take forever, he hits all eight lights on the normally sleepy mainstreet and with every stop Eddie feels like he's vibrating out of his pants. 
He finally reaches the Harrington House, pulls haphazardly onto the drive and flings himself out of the van, just barely turning off the engine and pulling the Emergency brake on.
Eddie races toward the front steps and raps his knuckles against the door with three successive knocks. The house is dark, no lights, not even the flashes of the sitting room television can be seen from the front window.
For a moment there is nothing, no sound from the other side of the door. Eddie swallows and knocks again.
Then, the porch light flicks on with a metallic click.
The door opens just enough for Eddie to make out the shape of Steve, the hall light remains off, leaving Steve in shadow.
"Eddie?" Steve says, his voice rough, "What are you doing here?" 
"Hey, uh, hey Stevie,” Eddie manages, a wry smile threatening to take over his face the longer he stands in the doorway, “can I come in?" 
Steve hesitates, his hands remain fixed on the door but a slight tremble runs up his arm to his shoulder. 
Eddie falters for a moment, a hint of anxiety slithers through his chest. Was Gareth wrong?  
Steve sighs suddenly and pulls open the door, sliding sideways to let him pass. 
The giddy feeling in Eddie's chest slowly dissipates as he steps over the threshold into the dark foyer. He reaches over to the light switch on the wall and turns it on as Steve curses and turns away abruptly.
"Stevie?" Eddie says, his voice pitched with alarm, "hey what's going on?" 
"Don't, please don't call me that Eds," Steve whispers, his shoulders shake but he remains facing the opposite wall.
Eddie's stomach drops at the wet sound to his voice, the slight hitch, the shake of his shoulders.
"Oh shit Stevie, come here," Eddie says as he reaches for Steve’s shoulder, he grasps it lightly and gently begins to turn the other man towards him. Steve doesn’t move at first, holding firm, staring straight ahead and away from Eddie. 
He only has to smooth his ringed hand along Steve’s shoulder and up his neck and suddenly his arms are full as Steve crashes into him. 
“Oh sweetheart, its okay,” Eddie whispers. He brings his arms up around Steve, one hand curls into his hair while the other comes up around the small of his back. 
Steve’s face is tucked into his shoulder, his hands grip the fabric of Eddie’s shirt and vest harshly. He shudders and breathes, as though trying to stop the tears as they continue to fall, wetting Eddie's shoulder. 
“Sorry,” Steve mumbles, the words catch in Eddie's hair but he shakes his head at the sound. 
Eddie frowns, “What on earth are you sorry for?”
Steve is quiet for a moment, Eddie takes it as an opportunity to kick the door closed behind them before planting his feet to stabilize the weight of Steve in his arms. 
When he looks back, Steve is facing him. His large hazel eyes are red rimmed and shining with tears, his nose and cheeks are flushed and his hair is a wild mess, but he looks beautiful to Eddie.
“I don’t,” Steve whispers eventually, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable".
It clicks.
Why Gareth was being so careful, so cryptic earlier, why Steve must have left early. 
"Did Gareth say something to you?" Eddie murmurs, the words are soft but there's a hint of anger there. 
Steve stiffens and shakes his head, a little too quickly. He bites his lip and makes to pull away but Eddie holds him tight. 
"Stevie, come on, I can't help if I don't know what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours," Eddie says, his heart beats wildly in his chest as Steve slowly raises his head to catch Eddie's eyes once more.
Steve's eyebrows are furrowed slightly, but the slightest hint of hope lingers in those hazel eyes. 
Eddie swallows down his inner voice that screams, run, over and over and over - because isn't that the first tenant of bravery? 
Doing something, even though you're scared shit less?
"I'm going to try something here sweetheart," Eddie says slowly, carefully, all the years hanging out with Gareth have paid off in the strangest way.
He slowly leans in and presses his lips, dry and chapped, to Steve's.
It's soft, nothing more than skin to skin, Steve is frozen as though his body doesn't know how to process what's happening and God Dammit that's not what Eddie is hoping for. 
But then, Steve's eyes flutter closed and his body melts and his arms slide from the front of Eddie's shirt into his hair and around his neck and he's kissing him.
He's kissing him!
It's a little wet, Steve tastes like tears and his nose is running slightly but it's still perfect.
Eddie smiles and reaches us to cup Steve's cheek with one hand, his thumb caresses along his cheekbone across the constellation of freckles and moles on Steve's face.
Beautiful.
Eddie swipes the barest hint of tongue along the seam of Steve's lips before catching himself, slow and steady.
Eddie pulls back but leaves his hand on Steve's face and smiles widely at the dazed expression on his face. 
"You with me sweetheart?" Eddie whispers, grazing his thumb once more across Steve's cheek as he says it.
A deep blush blooms across Steve's face, spanning from the tips of his ears, across his cheeks, and down to his neck. Eddie files that reaction away for later.
"Yeah Eds, I'm with you," Steve says softly with his own small smile. 
There's a lot to talk about still, but it's certainly a start as Eddie leads Steve down the familiar hallway and into the sitting room.
And Eddie can't wait.
For everyone that asked to be tagged once part two was up, here you go! (I hope these tags worked, I haven't used Tumblr in FOREVER)
@what-am-i-doing-with-my-non-lifeon-life @henderdads @unclewaynemunson @wearelosersyoudumbfuck @samcoxramblings @stevesbipanic @cicadabeat @xthehatchick @cr0w-culture @moonshadows-13 @tv-mind @classicdinosaurdeathpose
And to @monstrousfemale who wrote such a beautiful second part to my initial post (please go check it out because it is lovely) I hope this holds a candle to yours! Thank you again for going over linking posts!!
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skylinx2o · 10 days
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Admittedly, I've been feeling terrible lately. I didn't even finish my weekly drawing and broke my now months long streak. I thought I would be able to do it, but my emotions weighted me down too much. I might go back to drawing one art every two weeks.
Anyway, I feel like I should do more fun things. I mean, drawing is fun, and I love creating stories for my OCs, but I do have a lot of other interests. And tho I'm sticking to talking about LEGO today, I want to talk more and get out of my shell. And maybe give you more insight into me as a person.
So today I'm going to talk about my favourite LEGO themes and why I love the series, plus how I personally got i to all of them. It's not a normal review whatsoever, just an excuse to ramble about my interests freely. Just remember this is my experience and my feelings.
(And it's not at all like I'm making this post because I need all of this to prepare for a speaking class and the only way to motivate myself is by making a post about it o _o Come on, I'm killing two birds with one stone here!)
Okay, so, my all-time favourite themes are (in chronological order to when I found them):
1. Bionicle
Honourable mention: Hero Factory
2. Ninjago
3. Legends of Chima
4. Monkie Kid
5. Dreamzzz
1. So. Bionicle. I have a weird history with Bionicle. My dad's friends used to get movies for us, and one day it just happened that my dad's friends gave us a pen drive with Bionicle: Legend Reborn on it. I think I would be around... Seven or eight when I watched it I've seen fans say that it was a pretty weak film, but I didn't know Bionicle back then, and I really enjoyed it! That movie was a soft reboot of the series, and as someone who started their Bionicle obsession with that movie, in my opinion it worked really well as a standalone supposed to capture new audiences. I really loved the sense of mystery that was probably lost on new fans. It wasn't exactly explained what or who Mata Nui was, besides him being a warrior who lost his people. And the ending... I really thought there would be a sequel to it, and was really intrigued by whom the great beings were, and what happened to the world, why Mata Nui knew them, what the giant ahh robots were supposed to do.
Of course, when a few years later in middle school I looked for the sequel, I didn't find it. And to be honest, the ending was disappointing to me. However, there was a whole other storyline in Bionicle to catch up on! And so one faithful summer was spent reading all the comics I could find, reading wiki pages one after another, playing Mata Nui online game obsessively, refusing to use a walkthrough. Believe me when I say I was obsessed!
And then out of nowhere in 2015 g2 came out, and I was stoked since I missed out on practically the whole g1 as it was being made. (I mean, it's understandable, I was born the same year the first Bionicle movie came out.) I mean, can you blame me for being excited? A dead franchise that I just started becoming a devoted fan of is suddenly revived from the grave. I felt like the luckiest person on earth that day. Honestly, g2 was a lot simpler than g1, but I really like it, even if most people said it sucked. Sure, it wasn't exactly like g1, and even I cringed a few times when watching the g2 show, but for what it was, it was cool in my eyes, and loved finding all the g1 references. And there were quite a few of them! The story of g2 was simpler, but for little kids I think it would've been fine. But alas, LEGO did a crap job promoting it, and it died early, with an ending that was so bad even I can't defend it. It just didn't make sense, and it was rushed as hell. But I still wished it would've continued.
I love both generations for different things, and I'm sad I didn't get any g2 sets when they were out (Lewa was my favourite one). But years later I managed to get a promotional anniversary set of Tahu and Takua, and you wouldn't believe my happiness when I was building it. It's strange being a relatively new fan compared to others I see online, but I still remember seeing Bionicle commercials, and even have a very vague memory of seeing a Phantoka commercial on our ancient TV. I mean come on, I was so into it, I even learned the Matoran alphabet! My mom had to listen to my countless rambling, and if I ask her about Bionicle today, she still remembers some answers, that's how much into it I was. Hell, this blog started as a Bionicle blog before I moved fully to Monkie Kid content.
Okay, this Bionicle ramble is getting a tad long, so I'll wrap this up. Would I recommend Bionicle to anyone? Well... Not really, unless you like long lore researching adventures. The story is so convoluted, with many sides stories, and it went on for so many years, that despite my obsession I still probably missed like, 40% of the lore. G1 at least, wouldn't vibe with casual audience probably. G2 might be easier on the brain, despite it having some deeper lore too. Plus, there's the cultural appropriation issue, that I'm not qualified to talk about, but others already made pages long blogs and articles about. Plus the weird gender situation. But, it's still a good story in my eyes, despite its many faults. But that's just me, and if you didn't catch on yet, I'm already deep in this hole and there's no getting out of here now.
Honourable mention: This brings us to Hero Factory. I watched the first few episodes at around the same time as the first Bionicle movie. Came from the same source as before. I think it deserves a mention, because I still loved it, and did some lore digging, but I wasn't as obsessed with it as the other positions on the list. I didn't like the later stuff as much, tho some concepts were really cool too. But the story of the first episodes was really well done, and worked great as a movie. The fights were tense, and when watching it for the first time, I couldn't really know if the characters would be okay. Honestly, it got me really excited and invested. A factory of heroes is a unique concept, and I always found it intriguing how they made the robot society work. But, I don't think it needed more time than it needed, unlike Bionicle, where I didn't like the ending of either generation. I think it wrapped things up quite well with the first episodes, and the later ones just feel like cool side stories, and it works in my opinion.
This one I would definitely recommend, because I feel like it's underrated, and it's not long. Like I said, the version I got was just a one movie like compilation. I checked and there's just 11 episodes. It would probably take 1–2 hours to watch it, not counting the later movies and all.
2. Next one is Ninjago! I started watching it almost from the start. I must have been around ten or so... The episodes aired on TV, so I had easy access to it! I almost never missed an episode, and watched even the reruns. And believe me, I was hypnotised when watching it. Tho, starting from rebooted I watched the episodes online, first in my native language, then in English since I started getting too impatient to wait. This was my first obsession. For the longest time, when people asked me what I wanted to do, I said I wanted to be a ninja. One of my oldest OCs is Mika, and she grew up with me. Whenever a new season was to come, I would design a new suit for her. I have a whole dedicated blog to her, I wonder if you all can find it lol. Anyway, for a kid's show, the first seasons were really well written, and the show could be dark when it wanted, but it didn't lack jokes, and most were very funny. And honestly, Ninjago had a really big impact on my life. It taught me not to give up, and it made me want to make the world a better place. Grade school was a horrible time for me, and Ninjago was like my escape. Tho, I might have daydreamed about it too much at one point...
I started distancing myself from Ninjago around hands of time. I didn't watch the show as regularly, catching up on seasons long after they aired. I think that's also where the writing quality started dropping… I just didn't like it as much any more. But it should've been expected with a series that went on for so long. I'm not one of the people who think old Ninjago was better than anything. It wasn't perfect at all. But I didn't like the short format of newer seasons. But then secrets of forbidden spinjitzu dropped, and i as a person started getting better too, so I went back to Ninjago, and while it wasn't still the best and people had a lot of issues I loved those few next seasons. I mean, they somehow hit right into my interests with those seasons. First the adventure movies like atmosphere with the Egyptian like tomb, then they get sucked into a video game, then the very DnD like feeling Shintaro. It was right up my alley. My love for Ninjago was back in full force by then. So you can imagine how sad I was when the word that Ninjago was ending started going around. The series has been with me for half my life. My friends even knew how much I liked it, my best IRL friend even bought me a Ninjago set for Christmas one time. But you know, I thought it was probably Ninjago's time. Nothing can last forever after all, and it had a very good run. Why not end it when the story was still quite alright? And then… Crystallized happened. I didn't watch Crystallized. I heard the spoilers, and I wasn't… thrilled. Especially with Harumi. And people hated that season. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. It didn't feel like a send-off Ninjago deserved.
So you can imagine how damn happy I was about Dragon Rising! And surprise, it's the best Ninjago has been in a while! I absolutely loved the first season. The new characters are wonderful, and that change was certainly what Ninjago needed. And the fact that it's merged with one of other of my beloved LEGO series only makes it better. And that's probably my cue to move to it hehe
So, would I recommend Ninjago? Yeah. Its story is easy to follow, you just need to watch the show. If you're ready to watch sixteen+ seasons that it! Even the worse seasons have some value to them I'd argue. But I may be biased with how close to my heart that series is.
3. Yeah boy, Legends of Chima! I started watching Chima around the same time I started watching Ninjago, and I was equally hooked. And yes, my mom remembers this one as well, I watched it every time it was on too. Actually, I think the first fanfiction I've ever written was about Chima. With a pencil on paper. I think that, while the other series captivated me because of magic or the setting or the action, in Chima it was the characters and their dynamics mostly, despite there being plenty of magic powers and action too, plus a unique setting. The main characters all have distinct personalities, and it's fun to see how their personalities clash or work together. I think it's cool because the conflict between lions and crocodiles takes the main stage in the first season. Later seasons are great too, and they shake things up to make things interesting quite well. The lore isn't as broad as in other series, but it's pretty cool and interesting either way. There were some unique concepts there. I can't explain my love for this theme as well as with other series, because I don't think there was anything big that made me like it. It's just a cool show. I think what there was has been satisfying, tho young me was really sad and angry it ended anyway. But it's great for what it was. But I can't say I'm not happy that Chima is now merged with Ninjago, and it works so well together, and I absolutely love Lord Ras.
I would absolutely recommend it. It's a fun show, and only three seasons long. It can be both fun and serious, and I definitely had a blast watching it.
4. Now one of my newer obsessions! Monkie Kid! I watched the pilot in Chinese when it came out, then I promptly forgot about the series and binge-watched it all when season 3 came out. I was reading about Journey to the West long before the series was announced, since I have a liking for old stories and legends and myths and stuff. And Asian cultures fascinate me. I blame Ninjago with its Japanese influence and all the martial arts movies that were on the TV all the time. Plus Mulan and Kung Fu Panda. Anyway, I can't say much about how accurate it is or anything since I'm not Chinese, but I think the show is great. I noticed a lot of references to Journey To The West. No shocker here, it's inspired by it. But being in this fandom made me learn a lot of new things about China, tho I still have a bunch of things to learn. I'm no expert yet. Tho, I try my best to be respectful.
Umm... Like I said, not much to say about how accurate the story is. But I really liked Journey to the West, so naturally I like Monkie Kid too. Plus, MK i really relatable to me. I feel like my personality is really similar to his, tho I'm more introverted. For some reason, I relate to this portrayal of Macaque and Wukong as well.
I dare to say that from all the series so far, I find this one to be the most well written. I just find the writing to be the most impactful. Plus, the artstyle is very different from other LEGO shows. Action scenes are really fun. The artstyle definitely works in its favour. And yeah, I would recommend this show 100%.
5. And finally, the newest addition to the LEGO series, Dreamzzz! The show is really new and just starting, but I love the concept and the writing! Plus again, I really relate to Mateo. The characters feel like real people you would meet, and how they interact feels realistic. And I found myself liking even the characters that annoyed me, because their personalities were the realistic type of annoying, one that you might find out in the wild. And the concept of a dream world just really speaks to me. And it gives the creators a lot of creative freedom. All wacky things can happen in a dream after all. One thing I didn't expect in the show was the secret agency, and I think it's a clever addition to the story.
I would recommend this series. I hope it'll have a bright future, and that the writing will stay this good.
Well, time to wrap all of this up. Whoever suffered through this whole ramble deserves a juice and a cookie 🍪🧃 For a few finishing thoughts... I noticed a lot of the series I like blend magic powers and technology together. I just thought it's interesting. And I wanted to mention that the songs for Bionicle, Ninjago and Chima absolutely slap. I used to listen to them on repeat all the time lol Even my mom really enjoyed those songs
Yeah, I don't know what this post was for, I just felt like writing all that :v
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Eddie Munson Saves Some Kittens
A/N: Just some thoughts I had while at the rescue. Reader in this is gender neutral. Nothing but fluff and kittens!
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Okay. So imagine with me, if you will, that Eddie Munson finds a litter of teeny tiny kittens somewhere, possibly under the trailer porch and the mom is no where to be seen. He gives it awhile, waits anxiously by the window nearly all day and into the night to see if the mom comes back before he decides to bring them inside.
Now he has a box full of tiny, helpless, squirmy, and very hungry kittens and wow he did not think this through. Like. At all.
So he calls you, his lovely and very understanding s/o and rushes through the explanation so fast over the phone that you have to make him repeat it.
"Jesus, Eddie, do you ever think things through?" you laugh lightly on the other end of the line, already making a mental list of what you need.
But you don't sound annoyed and he breathes a sigh of relief at how not irritated you sound. You always have patience with him and he remembers how grossly in love with you he is and ugh.
The kittens are set up in an old pack n' play you found in the basement and lugged all the way over to Eddie's. You layer it with blankets and old newspapers and a hot water bottle that the kittens huddle on.
Eddie thrives on the chaos that is taking care of these delicate little beings. His sleep schedule is weird anyway so feeding them every few hours late in the night and into the early morning is no big issue.
(Wayne thanks God that it's Summer or Eddie would be going for another year as a senior with all the sleep that kid is missing.)
You keep him on track, sitting in the library and writing down all the information you need in one of Eddie's notebooks. You both spend many nights on the couch with kittens curled up all over you like tiny furnaces or in Eddie's room leaning over the side of the pack n' play, half asleep, worrying over the smallest kitten.
When Eddie compares it to practice for a human baby you wack him with a pillow until he cries uncle, laughing.
When the kittens are big enough to start walking on wobbly legs, they follow Eddie around like little ducklings, jumping at his legs and perching on his shoulders. They love to play with his hair.
Eddie nearly cries when a kitten gets underfoot and he accidentally steps on it's tail/paw. You reassure him that the kitten is okay and that it happens sometimes. He babies that kitten the rest of the day anyway.
They all love to cuddle with you when it's nap time and Eddie gets a bit sour about it but you pinch his cheeks and put his head in your lap and he has a kitten sleeping on his chest and neck while he snores in no time.
Uncle Wayne has many polaroids of moments like this. He secretly has a favorite kitten that is always awake to greet him when he gets home from a shift and sits on the counter while he heats up some food.
He knows he shouldn't give them table scraps (you scold Eddie and him whenever you catch them doing it) but he sneaks a few pieces of meat to the kitten. He takes to calling it Junior because its fuzzy black fur and big eyes remind him of a younger Eddie and damn it, he knows he'll have to keep it.
You and Eddie argue over what music to leave on when the cats are alone because:
"So they get used to human voices and stuff" he explains and you look him dead in the eye when you remind him of all the 'concerts' he's done for the kittens.
You agree to leave on a radio station that plays a good mix of everything, volume low.
Eddie wants to name them all after some Ozzy songs or come up with elaborate D&D themed names and give them just as elaborate backstories based on their personalities.
You and Eddie drive 3 hours to go to a free spay and neuter clinic. That is a road trip you will never forget. Mostly because there are little claw marks on the back of the vans seats now and everytime you see them you smile.
One kitten goes to Dustin's mom. Because yeah.
A couple of people that Wayne works with adopt a few.
El even convinces Hopper that it's necessary for her to have a cat and we all know he ends up loving that furry maniac no matter how much he grumbles about the fuckin' litter box.
He gives the cat treats behind El's back and let's it sit on his lap when she's at sleepovers.
Uncle Wayne does end up keeping the runt, which he does name Junior, but never really tells Eddie why until Eddie asks.
When the last kitten is given to it's forever family, both you and Eddie feel a little (okay a lot) emotional. Junior is never in want for snuggles and chin scratches.
When you and Eddie eventually get your own place together it definitely feels a bit empty without a pet. He wants to take all the cats home when you visit a shelter after settling into life living on your own together.
You take home an adult cat that gave Eddie the saddest eyes and nibbled on his finger. And your family feels a little more complete with a furry companion waiting for you at home.
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