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apureniallsource · 11 months

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“There’s no one here to be a flash in the pan,” Niall Horan affirms, despite all signs of his career pointing to longevity and impact. This was a surprising declaration for a successful artist who has captured the hearts and ears of millions worldwide, and as our well-spent virtual time together unfolded, it became obvious why this would even be a floating intention in his mind.

Having already hypnotized the masses, surrendering to his talent, charm, and warmth as one-fifth of One Direction, Niall Horan, like the others, took a solo leap into the music scene, crafting an individualistic DNA. In 2020, he dropped his album, Heartbreak Weather, at an unforeseen inopportune time of the world shutting down. As I connected with Niall, it became immediately apparent to me that his creative force is fuelled by his onstage performances. While the album was well-received, his solo tour was knocked down before it got a chance to kick off, a consequence so impactful that it could trick even the most favored heartthrobs into questioning their longevity in the game. His songs were destined to go unsung by crowds for years, forcing him to explore stimulus and find inspiration for his next project from the place we were all ordered to stay—inside. What resulted from this ill-fated circumstance, is his most-realized, mature, and introspective album we’ve seen from Niall Horan yet, The Show.

An all-too-philosophical metaphor for life, The Show, naturally captures Niall’s value systems of what is important to him during his blip on the planet—with many songs being positioned to interpersonal relationships, of course—and proving that his musicality is often influenced by a comprehensive concept. Niall gives us an entire life’s trajectory of music to lean on—talk about longevity—“Never Grow Up” touches upon holding on to child-like joy, “Heaven” speaks to the quintessential quarter-life crisis and title-track “The Show” is a nod to the impermanence of it all, ebbs and flows in their glory. Embodying the concept of the record, Niall reveals that “The Show” is particularly meaningful to him, “It’s one of those ones that I go around singing the melody to myself, and I wrote the song nearly three years ago,” which champions the idea that this album will stand the test of time.

In “Meltdown”, a winning moment on the album, Niall talks us down from a feeling of being consumed by one of life’s surprises of something going unexpectedly sideways, spiraling into thinking your life is bound to go downhill from there, a familiar anxiety-based delusion many can understand. His ability to candidly speak our truths is organic, but not unintentional, he tells me, “I think [the songs] are all [capturing] universal feelings. I haven’t gone so introspective to the point where you can’t understand. I think that with the topic being so universal, the idea is that people will be able to relate. More so, than probably anything I’ve ever released.”

Niall Horan is proving himself to be a thoughtful, bigger-picture thinker whose creativity is informed by minimal mental bounds. The Show’s standout single “Heaven”, he tells me, was the longest song to get together. “I knew exactly what I wanted to say and it was just getting the words out and the music to go with it. I had the concept and I was singing the verse, chorus, [and] melody, but didn’t really know what the music was. And then [it] just popped up at 1 in the morning and fell out of us. That was probably the toughest song to write but when you stay patient and wait for that big moment, it’s a very good feeling.”

The stripped-down emotional highlight of the album, however, had a unique inception. “Some songs are completely different,” he shares, “like ‘You Could Start A Cult’, I sat down with a guitar and wrote in forty minutes. Things happen very differently. I always like to have an idea of what I’m going to say and some sort of musical thing—whether that be a melody, piano, guitar riff—I’ll always come in with something and see what happens.”

Growth looks good on Niall Horan, an artist a lot of us have grown up with and who remains relatable throughout the years despite having a surreal life experience. The Show takes a more experimental approach, incorporating synths, emphasizing the role of backing vocals throughout the production, and reflecting the musical evolution that comes with age and exposure. While still maintaining his signature style and Niall-isms, he tells me this album was heavily informed by his overall maturity. “There’s something about it that’s just different, I can’t really put my finger on it. It’s probably just age and growing up them few years and writing stuff from this current point of view.” The willingness he demonstrates to explore new territories is admirable but assures me that he’s always aware of creating stuff that is not so different that will scare people away, “You don’t want to do that!”

It’s this same maturity, in tandem with his starting his career as a contestant on a talent competition show that has equipped him with the valuable insights he can share with aspiring artists as a coach on The Voice. Early in our conversation, he excitedly shared that he was looking forward to potentially winning, and as further proof of his capabilities, he did. Gina Miles, under his wing, impressed the masses with her vocals and took home the win of Season 23. His best advice for his team? Take it easy.

“It’s such simple advice. I find on The Voice [the contestants] are so technically gifted, and with that comes taking it really seriously. At the end of the day, we’re on a reality TV show on a Monday night. I’m always trying to remind them to just take it easy and enjoy it for what it is. You get the platform to stand up there every night and sing songs that you love in front of a nation. It’s a really cool opportunity if you look at it that way. If you look at it [more seriously], it’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done. As I’ve gone on, I can see my artists are actually making friends and enjoying the process of it all. Because it can be over in two seconds. Take it in, and know that if you leave The Voice, it’s not the end of your career, you’re sixteen!”

Simple, uncomplicated advice is often what’s needed but can sometimes only be realized with so many years under your belt, as we adjust and learn to surrender to the aforementioned ebbs and flows of life that The Show is all about. With this, comes the inevitable facing up of mistakes and lessons learned both professionally and personally that can eventually equip you with the knowledge to be a viable mentor.

“You do learn. I listen to a shit song I’ve written and go ‘That was shit’ and what did I do there that I didn’t do in one of my favorites? You’ll learn like that. It’s a progression thing, across the board, musically and personally. And from what I’ve gathered, that doesn’t come to an end any time soon.”

Leaning into the idea of the album’s concept, and in theory, if our life is a show, then surely you get to be in the writer’s room to imagine your desired season finales. In typical Niall nature, he tells me, “I’m one of those people that doesn’t look past my note. You gotta live it as you’re in it.” I guess it is true what he sings on “The Show”, it’s all fun and games until the party ends. And who else better to party with than Lewis Capaldi? The two UK-born artists have established a close relationship through their experiences in the music industry, developing a close bond that has secured Lewis a regular, main character spot on Niall’s “show”. “He’s well and truly in the show. It’s a good relationship to have. And I don’t go around the world looking for famous mates because that wouldn’t say too much about me,” Niall tells me, “I always found if you get on with someone [you] can usually judge [them] on ‘would I go for a pint with that person?’ and I’ve gone for plenty of pints with that man.”

On a more profound note, Niall expands on his humble ambitions, “Obviously, you’ve got to think about the future, [but] you can fry your own brain, planning your whole life out. And if you don’t hit any of those goals, you feel like you have failed. I’ve always tried to swim through it and see what happens. I’ve never felt more enjoyment of what I do than now, and hopefully, I can make music at this level and remain happy in my home life. And cross the bridge when it comes to it, I suppose.”

Clear in his direction, Niall is dedicated to making music and continuing to adapt his voice to his life experiences, for as long as he can. “I think we all go for longevity. Longevity and time [are] the most important things to me. If I could win some awards or get No.1 [on the charts] here and there, that would be good too. But, I would love length and longevity in my career.” Much of Niall’s legacy will rightfully be rooted in One Direction, “I wouldn’t be doing this now if it weren’t for 1D, I’ve got zero issues with that following me around forever,” he says, pointing to the obvious impact of that historic and iconic era.

As Niall Horan’s introspective journey thus far, culminates in The Show, his individual artistic vision is delivered with clear force, carrying in it his expansion and development. Despite the setbacks of 2020, his upcoming tour promises to be a triumphant return to his natural home, the stage, where he can once again captivate audiences with his magnetic presence. With longevity as his compass, Niall Horan is poised to solidify his place enchanting new fans—and recovered Directioners—for years to come.

#niall horan #09june

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louisisalarrie · 1 month

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Have you any thoughts on Krystle (Louis’s stylist) and Louis? I’ve seen posts speculating they’re together but keeping it a secret…and a photo shared from last year (that was apparently then deleted) of him holding what looks like her legs in a club/bar. Some of the responses to that pic are saying he was holding his own legs - the angle of the pic is making it look like he’s holding hers/someone else’s, but I don’t know!

I tbought krystle was married but folks seem to be saying they think she divorced.

I also saw a post that said Lou Teasdale did a podcast where she referred to Louis as being the worst one in 1D for cheating on his GF (assuming E at the time). I mean really?? Do you know of that podcast. Like would Lou T even speak out of turn like that about any of the boys?!!

You may have no opinion on this whatsoever and that’s totally fine. I just wondered as it’s the first I’ve heard of these ‘rumours’!

Hellooooo anon. Are you seeing these rumours in the Wild West that is twitter? Because that place is a damn breeding ground for these rumours.

The Krystle and Louis thing has been going on for ages. It’s because she’s young, pretty, and hangs out with them when they’re not working. It’s a classic case of people assuming they MUST be together because they work together, hang out, and she’s a girl and he’s a boy. This kind of thinking is very easy to fall into, and we do it almost subconsciously. Like how when Harry has a female friend, the press and his fans assume they’re together, right? It’s the same thing. And there’s gonna be photos of them together, she literally works for him and they’re pals.

It’s somewhat infuriating, too, because she’s a great stylist and yet she’s reduced to “Louis tomlinsons latest FWB”. Shes more than that, and should be able to be his pal. I haven’t seen a single photo that could convince me otherwise, and if someone shows me one more damn photo of Louis’ hand on someone’s leg and says that’s proof, I’ll lose it. Mainly because if that’s the case, im dating at least 7 people right now. Louis has always been touchy, I can relate to that. And he’s just a gay hanging with the girlies.

I don’t think she’s divorced??? Dunno if anyone does know that 100%, but he attended her wedding with Eleanor in 2019. (I also have proof that she was still married in Nov 2023).

Anywho, I truly don’t think they’re dating or anything is going on with them. It’s just people causing drama, and also, they loooove riling up the larries. So, yeah. Ask yourself this: if louis’ stylist was a man, would people be making these rumours? What if they were much much older than Louis? What if they were not stereotypically attractive?

A similar thing happened with Brad and Harry.

Anywho, onto Lou Teasdale.

I have absolutely 0 idea where that info you got is from. I know that she said shit about Larry, larries, and that everyone in the band (individually) and crew were fucking each other (maybe she’s the one reading too much fanfiction?) and that a bunch of people lost their jobs because they slept with the 1d boys. This was in 2020. Why she thought it was relevant to talk about any of this on a podcast? Idk. Maybe because she’s not relevant anymore? And she burnt nialls hair to a crisp with bleach and none of the boys employed her in their solo careers? Lol. Idk. It’s very “teenage girl” of her to gossip like that. Very yikes and doesn’t do her any favours. But hey! Larries have always been an easy target for a bit of publicity.

But no, I can’t find anything saying specifically that Louis was a cheater or anything like that.

#anon #answered #stunts

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absolutebl · 3 years

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BAD BUDDY - Ep by Ep Snarkfest

Not sure if this will be a trash watch or not, but are you ready for this?

But first... I thought it might be fun to see what my predictions were back in 2020 when GMMTV first announced this show.

I should acknowledge that I publicly stated, many times, that I thought Nanon would NEVER do a BL. So this is me eating crow:

DEETS!

Origin: Book (Behind the Scenes) adaptation of a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, Romeo & Romeo, secret relationship, university sports setting y-novel

MDL Listing | Trailer

Wait I’ve seen them do BL before? Seriously? Fine. Nanon Korapat in My Dear Loser+ like everything GMMTV not BL. Ohm Pawat in He’s Coming to Me, Make it Right 1&2, Dew the Movie, The Shipper + like EVERYTHING BL.

Side dishes: Drake (My Tee, 2gether, 1000 Stars) and Marc (My Gear and Your Gown)

My 2020 Predictions: It’s from GMMTV with BL director Backaof attached (1000 Stars, He’s Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, Still 2gether), so it’s gonna happen. Both actors and director have a history of picking quality projects with decent scripts, and production values are likely high. Should be excellent but low heat. Ohm will have his shirt off a lot.

Shall we begin?

Episode 1 - Oh well, fuck me, it’s actually great

They had me the moment Pran took his earbuds out and put them carefully into a case before going into battle. This show is fantastic.

Officially, as of this moment October 29, 2021, I’m declaring there to be too many gay engineering students in BL for me to keep track of anymore. Bad Buddy has defeated me. It is the gear the broke the smock-covered back.

Pat’s little sister is my spirit animal I LOVE HER. I’m sorry tho, I can’t call her Pa, so I’m changing the spelling to Pah henceforth. (It’s Thai to English, all spelling is merely a figment of your deranged imagination anyway.)

The pace was great, this was a FAST moving opening episode. Ironically, that means I’m now concerned about pacing - a lot happened already, how are they going to daw this out into 12 eps unless it’s super slow burn? Then again, this is based on a Y-novel, so should be better than normal Thai BL (although the horrible looming shadow of My Gear and Your Gown is RIGHT THERE) so trust is thin on the ground.

All that said, we are off to a GREAT start and so far I’m loving this show. (I would have bet good money Ohm would be topless first, tho.) Also, yes we all GOT the Romeo & Juliet bits GMMTV, thank you for clipping us upside the head with those. Is Drake actually playing Tybalt? In which case, who’s Mercutio? (Randomly: does the kid playing Wai look like Heeseung from Enhypen to anyone else, or is it just me?)

How cute was that bit where they subverted the wound tending trope though? Pran was like “You must be joking.” I got quite a chuckle out of it.

Little to no seme uke with these boys, which is good, suits the actors’ dynamic.

Looks like GMMTV is gonna both start (1k*) and end 2021 on a high note. Fingers crossed. Honestly it just so nice to have them back in the game.

Episode 2 - Damnit, It Continues to be Good

The first quarter of this ep, with them trying to keep their friendship groups apart is so flipping funny. And then I remembered, the best of 2gether was when it did stuff like this. (That drunk scene with Fong flipping his shoe, Gunsmile in the dolly, and Tine driving air still makes me laugh). GMMTV’s stable excels at this stuff, it’s how School Rangers kept going all these years. And Ohm and Nanon are two of the best. It makes me feel like I am in safe hands when they do a montage run like this.

Also, seriously, the amount for flirting these two do over text is off the chart. And should we talk about the epic eye fucking? Eh, probably not, it speaks for itself. Or doesn’t speak per say... just eye fucks.

Epic Eye Fucking is the name of my punk band.

Amused to see the combined the mistaken identity game with the rooftop trope. Oh and post-it love note, haven’t seen that trope in a long while.

I hate hate hate the scene with Heeseung - sorry, Wai - at work at the bar. Which means i really hate Pat’s friends now too. In fact I hate all their friends, this is a blanket statement - GMMTV rectify thyself. I want to love friendship groups in BL, not hate them. V annoying. I hope they all get booted from school for egregious shed collapsing.

FOLK my love! I have missed you.

NO SINGING. Thailand, we have talked about this at length!

So they were separated eternally for being in a band together?

I get it. They were singing in a BL. I’d have done it too.

Meanwhile tickle is apparently a good word in every language. Although in Thai strawberry will forever be my favorite.

BL = closing elevators on the good stuff since Cherry Magic.

Episode 3 - Is this the one true scion of SOTUS?

I’m getting a serious “inheritor of our SOTUS forefathers” feel from this show (NOT a bad thing) but I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not the narrative, maybe it’s more an aura of confidence that’s the result of a combo of capable acting & solid production? Maybe you lot can help me figure this out?

How smooth was the guitar pick student ID flirting action? Also a never before seen love offering. Adorbs. And then Pat paying for both their noodle bowls later.

Boy is GOOD.

Also, word’s second most handsome pick. First one? Here:

I love Pat & Pran’s dynamic, it’s this perfect combative competitive flirtation. Reminds me a bit of PeteKao at the beginning of Kiss, although with less of an edge to it.

Also reminds me of grade school. Honestly, when is Pat just gonna pull on Pran’s pigtails and dip them in ink? Break a slate over his head?*

* (10 points to anyone who gets that reference.)

This is a damn good script.

It lets Pat, in particular, push right up to the edge of confession and then backtrack or turn it into a joke constantly (maybe intentionally, may unconsciously). This has the effect of jerking Pran around, but not maliciously. It means, i think, if they ever are going to actually get anywhere as a couple it’s gonna have to be Pran who really makes the first move, since he’s the only one who has the overt capacity for sincerity.

It’s very clever. Makes me wonder if the original y-novel was this well done or if this is part of Ohm and Nanon’s dynamic coloring their characters.

Question for y’all.

Is “fighting with chopsticks” the new euphemism for “dueling with swords”?

Asking for a friend.

Oh and here’s a reminder, because I keep needing it with Pran’s friends.

Apparently Episode 3 feels compelled to do a major TROPE DUMP.

The appearance of the meet me in the library trope made me especially happy. Romance in libraries is a favorite setting. Also them pressed together in the elevator thing is fun, doesn’t pop up often in BL these days (Cherry Magic excepted). Plus some more predictable BL tropes:

side eye,

look of love,

stare from a close distance,

black & white striped shirt,

lie on ground,

central aperture framing,

head pat,

and so forth.

On a serious note, the way Pat & Pran’s friends are driving them right back into the corners that their families did as children is really fucking sad. But it sure makes for excellent external tension.

Looking forward to another week of all I care about is Friday, and not for the normal reasons.

Episode 4 - annoying friends remain annoying

Look they’re starting to really bother me in an imma fast forward kinda way, they’re no longer adding to the story. Although it is fun to see them tricked into working. But I like to see anyone tricked into working. Leave me alone with a child and I’ll have them conducting regression analysis in about half an hour. (That is NOT a euphemism.)

Pat wandering into Pran’s room and then just grabbing a book and setting up residence made me think that these two are also a puppy/cat pairing.

I like the not-a-faen-fatale but more a friend from their past who knows who they are to each other. Cute twist on a tired archetype. Also I am fining myself basically delighted whenever Pat’s sister shows up. Why are sister characters such fun in BL?

Yes but also... tiny impossible but very cute girl ship has set sail!

Okay but how many times is Pat gonna call Pran cute or his boyfriend in this one episode? I mean boy actually couldn’t flirt any harder. And then to pretend he likes a girl. Tut to the tut tut.

Pacing on this one continues to be excellent I’m still excited for where the next one is going. So far, this show is a win.

Meanwhile someone asked me to go into why Nanon’s acting is so amazing, so I donned my professional-esk hat and had a stab at it here.

I’d like to see them start redeeming the friendship groups at this point. Pat’s should try helping him win the girl and Pran’s shoudl recognize his misery and try to cheer him up. They can remain at odds with each other, but we (the audience) really need to like them more now.

See you next week! Same Pat time, same Pat place.

Episode 5 - they boyfriends

These two are basically boyfriends already. I can’t take the morning routine cuteness: pet names, ordering each other around the kitchen, stealing food.

Thus the terrible date with The Girl (TM) was appropriately terrible and meanwhile...

So Pat finally figures out his feels, isn’t jelly of a girl (is jelly of a boy). I kinda like that the jelly is being used to determine identity rather than just as a dumb plot device.

This is a clever little romance.

Thank goodness we only had to listen to one song tho.

Meanwhile Pat is like, oh shit did we actually fall in love in high school and I never realized it? I love this kind of trope. Himbo alert! Big dumb bi boy utterly out of touch with his feelings is just too delicious. Also Ohm got to be subtle for a change, showing this whole remembering of old heartbreak just with nuances of facial expressions at the music concert.

Question: At the Wai Pat confrontation scene, how did Pat end up on the ground? Did he just decide to fall down in the middle of a fight? I’m confused.

Finally... GREAT FUCKING KISS.

Look I was gonna give kiss of the year to SamYu (and I still will because, frankly, Taiwan is just better about this stuff) but this one was REALLY good. Much more than I expected of GMMTV, although not from Ohm.

We all knew he could kiss like a dream from Make it Right, and he was fricking 16 in that series. Apparently some things DO improve with age.

Anygay, VERY nice boys. Thank you.

And then Pat’s face. That tiny lost smile: absolute joy and then crushing disappointment in knowing reality won’t let them be together - almost in the same breath. Beautifully done.

(A DM ask about this kiss has made me natter more so here it is...)

THAT KISS

I don't analyze the experience of BL as a watcher all that much (more just type out my snarky reactions) but I was asked, so here’s more about Ohm and the kiss.

I think that smile was a bit of everything: euphoria at having his feelings returned but also the hopelessness of their situation and also a brave front and also first love nerves. It was very complex. Ohm knocked it out of the park this ep but I've seen Dew so I had absolutely no doubt he could do it.

I love that the director and story had Nanon carry the weight of the emotional burden for most of the first half of the show and now suddenly Ohm has picked it up. It's very cleverly done and could only happen with two extremely good actors.

I do think we are in for a very bumpy ride going forward as a result though. Both of their reactions to the kiss are foreshadows.

How will they cope with the pressure of friends and family and secrecy if/when they are in a relationship?

Will they smile or wince or both, like Pat?

Will the joy of first love be enough to keep them on the metaphorical rooftop together?

Or will one of them run, as Pran did?

If production is smart with the talent (and clearly they ARE), we'll get flip flopping of who carries the emotional burden of the narrative for the next 5 eps or so until The Dreaded Episode 11 (TM).

Pacing is different in this BL though (this kiss came early) so DOOM might descend at ep 9/10 or even sooner. It’s hard to predict, this one. Yet another reason just to sit back and enjoy the ride.

EXTRAS

Pat & Pran’s language with each other: pronouns, honorifics, and endearment/insult teasing.

More about the kiss and the dialogue on the rooftop and queer identity.

Moving on from The Kiss That Broke The Internet.

Episode 6 - Show Me the Seme

I was thinking Bad Buddy was pretty much was not going to have a seme/uke dynamic (Thailand’s skipped it before), but in this episode we got us a classic seme active pursuit vrs tsundere uke resistance - so I guess for now, we back to normalcy.

Director Aof pretty much dropped in half the tropes of the Thai BL arsenal into this one episode, so my heart is full, but I think that was mostly to keep the pacing on point since this ep didn’t advance the story much:

touch my lips and think of kissing,

beach frolic,

close stare,

crash into me,

drag baby around,

boys contemplating water.

The parents are whack immure arses but hay, Love Sick started that nonsense - it’s a grand Thai tradition.

I kinda love Pat showing up on the bus. I literally said, “You little shit” while I was watching. Also, how much do I love Ohm’s “I’m a self satisfied little shit” face? SO MUCH.

The dealing with sulky boyfriend at the marketplace was adorable, because of course Pran likes the bits of Pat that are most unlike himself, like the sunshine teasing. And Pat is just learning how to activate that to get his boy into a better mood.

We ended with the best confession that isn’t a confession meets flirting but make it ridiculous scene in BL. It was great. Pran basically said,

“Boy, you wanna piece of this, you gotta court me proper.”

It was adorbs. Also, his smile when Pat calls him his boyfriend in the stinger = fantastic!

Finger licking good, one might even say.

I am anticipating these two giving us one of the best and most dramatic public claiming sequences ever.

Don’t disappoint me, Bad Buddy.

Next week.... secret boyfriends trope launches at last.

Episode 7 - Oh They Trope-Verse Seme-Switches!

Okay I figured it out with this episode, Pat & Pran are classic example of no seme/uke, they’re also classic trope switches. I’m glad that’s settled in my brain now.

I’ll talk about how I came to this conclusion in a moment, but FIRST... we need to talk about these two:

I’m not sure GMMTV has the guts to give us a full on GL sub plot, but they are absolutely setting one up. But then they throw Wai with a crush on Pah into the mix, so ???

This will get v messy for Pran & Pat no matter which direction Pah goes with her choices. Which is very clever of the writers. I love it. I am ALWAYS in favor of clever writers. And you know I like messy. So I’m looking forward to wherever this sub-plot goes, GL payout or no. (Although I recognize there are gonna be some seriously disappointed tumblr rants if there is no actual GL.)

Pran unleashing his pent-up flirt is a thing of beauty. Also the not-dating dating musical montage was adorable.

Okay, so, secret boyfriends gave us all the tropes in this one, interestingly if you assume Pat is the seme from the last ep, these all largely subverted that dynamic.

your relationship with that water bottle (standard seme execution, but I think they just wanted Ohm’s shirt off)

wound tending (subverted)

caged wall lean (subverted)

the library assignation

sponge bath (turned into product placement, very clever GMMTV)

baby is a messy eater (subverted)

(Here’s the post where I talk about how certain tropes in BL basically “belong” to either the seme or the uke and that we should pay very close attention when the dynamic is flipped because the narrative is very much trying to tell us something about the motivation and complexities of the characters. A pair that does this while maintaining seme/uke but using it to show us how very soft that dynamic can be are SolorGui in Oxygen.)

And then Bad Buddy used the cheek kiss, boyfriend peck kisses, and makeup removal trope to show Pat & Pran both pretty much doing this to each other at the same time. That’s basically screaming out that these two are narratively verse.

So yeah, I’m calling it for no seme/uke in this BL. In fact this episode could be a master class in how to use BL trope expectations to counteract seme/uke standards. It was basically Thai BL undermining Japanese live action yaoi. It’s kind of like:

Look at how far we have come! These boys will use your tropes for a verse agenda, thank you very much!

Which I of course flipping loved. (You see what I did there - FLIPping?)

You know what else I loved best in the world? This line:

You know why?

Because it reminded me so entirely of Seryo in Seven Days:

You know I love anything that reminds me of Seven Days.

Yet again Bad Buddy kept the tension up with no slump in engagement despite this being (on paper) a pretty basic filler episode 7, thin on narrative. I must applaud them. I’m looking forward to more secret boyfriends next week. But I do think someone is gonna find them out. The question is... who?

In other news: the mom character, instead of gay for you, she’s homophobic for you. Thank you thank you. Trope abuse is my forte.

Episode 8 - Shirtless Secrets

Finally the episode where Ohm spends most of it shirtless. The gay gods applaud you, GMMTV.

So right, the breakfast in bed was so adorable. These two are the biggest flirty teases ever, Pat & Pran are both such good secret lovers.

The fucking holding hands thing is going to wreck tumblr for days. Are you happy? I hope you’re happy. GMMTV what have you done to us.

Odds on a shot of Pat miserable and cuddling this T-shirt after the inevitable break up? Come on, you know they wanna do that to us.

I love the character trait of Pat being obsessed with the way Pran smells, speaking as someone whose partners have historically been dictated almost entirely by smell.

Meanwhile the lesbians got the wound tending and the shrimp peeling trope - a rare but very important one, IMHO. (Thank you AePete. Incidentally the Thai polite style of peeling shrimp, with a fork and spoon, actually works REALLY well. I taught myself how to do it and am now a bit of a fan.)

I actually don’t have a trope board for this one since it’s pretty rare.

And we ended on tension.

Did I say already that this show is written like, and reminds me a bit of, fan fiction? The way it’s paced, very nice.

Episode 9 - Wooing a Friendship Group (or 2)

I thought this episode would have a lot more doom, I was pleasantly surprised by how soft it was. A ton of cute tropes were casually dropped: hair dry, face cradle, significant hand hold, the lying loom, boys in black & white stripes. Still, Pran’s friends, especially Wai = the biggest arses. I wasn’t sure they could redeem Wai’s character (and I’m still not sure they did although they gave it their best shot).

Look, I’m only gonna say this once.

If you make it hard for someone to come out, you don’t get to blame them for hiding themselves.

Doesn’t matter what form that coming out takes (secret relationship or queerness). There are countless ways to demonstrate trust-worthiness and allyship, especially around your friends. The onus is on us to be the safe person, not them.

Nanon playing crestfallen is ADORABLE though.

Did you hear Korn use “nong” in this scene to mock flirt? It’s very very funny if you understand the implications of the term “nong” under the context of Korn & Pat’s friendship (equals and age mates) and Pat pretending to be jealous of Wai in order to cope with how much Wai is hurting his boyfriend. Korn is doing it to cheer him up. It was sweet and hillarious.

Who knew Korn would turn into the biggest PatPran shipper?

Meanwhile Pat chucked his crown into the ring for Bi King (gonna take a lot to dethrone Neo, Leon & Na, though.)

Pat = Pransexual

(Shut up, I am beyond chuffed with myself.)

This is, in part, GMMTV making an obvious effort to correct for some of the great sins of SOTUS in particular and the BL genre in general (gay for you, wifey terminology, punching down humor, and poor GL rep). Marvelous that they are using their flagship show and its massive platform to do so. We of the Queer Normalization Brigade salute you. (Our uniforms are FABULOUS.)

The GL ship got pushed a little out of port.

Do I think there might still be some issues with the GL supply chain? Why yes, yes I do, but it’s still very nice to see an attempt made at delivery. (See what I did there?)

Anygay, we got the friendship groups to come around and now... the parents! How much you wanna bet this drive the break up? Also I really hope the boys uncover a really good reason for the breach between the families, it’d be a lot better if they gave us a solid external stressor.

I got faith though.

Episode 10 - Wai’s Lesbian Redemption

Honestly this ep started with the public claiming sequence to end all public claiming sequences. This may win this trope category for all time.

I really appreciate the continued efforts to keep this drama light - much lighter, in fact, then it has any right to be. I think I have laughed out loud in pretty much every single episode.

Similarly I appreciate the ridiculous care and thought they are putting into crafty product placement. It’s almost like they are making fun of the way this was handled in 2gether. I wonder if it will spawn more of this kind of mockery in other Thai BLs going forward?

There is a literary technique called light housing, which is when writers take a flaw or inconsistency in a text/narrative/plot, and instead of trying to burry it, they highlight it and call attention to it, sometimes with 4th wall breaking, sometimes by ostentatiously turning it into a plot device or pivot point. The way Bad Buddy treats product placement feels like that. There’s this attitude of “well if we must include it, instead of trying to hide it let’s make it a party. It becomes less clumsy and shoehorned in (like in Kdramas or other Thai BL) and more an extra playful perk, like a cheerful garish bauble.

It suits the Thai style to approach product placement this way.

Could we talk about the Wai giving up on Pah sequence?

Good, ‘cause we’re gonna.

Far be it for me to turn the lesbian arc into a chat about the straight dude in the mix, but that’s what is about to happen. (Probubly my most anti Bechtel moment, ever.)

First of all, Pat’s attitude is aces, let’s just put that out there. For an older brother to say about his younger sister (in Thai culture), “I’m gonna let her make her own romantic decisions” Is fantastic. And maybe wouldn’t have happened if Pat hadn’t been through his own conflict over romance and identity.

But we gotta talk about Wai.

This was actually one of the best redemption arcs possible for Wai’s character and one of the most queer moments we’ve gotten in what has been, so far, one of the queerest Thai BLs I’ve ever seen.

There is along and very storied history of straight dudes (patriarchies, whole cultures) not believing in lesbian relationships because “real love” and “real sex” must involve a penis. Gay sex and relationships have historically been treated as taboo, disgusting, or sickening - but valid. Lesbian relationships and sex on the other hand, have mostly been treated as laughably impossible or inconceivable.

In the past, this lead to things like Boston marriages, where women spent lifetimes together as partners and were tacitly permitted to do so simply because "romantic love and sexual interest between two women is simply not possible.”

(When I harp on about queer being a feminist issue, this is one of those aspects.)

So the way Wai just instantly notices and believes that Pah has a crush on Ink and that this crush is not only valid but OUTRANKS his own is INSANE. Like never before seen on screen.

He accepts that it is Pah’s right to like whomever she wants, and if the one she likes is a woman, that’s not important because it’s just as valid of a choice.

I can’t tell you how important this kind of scene is in film. And how much it redeems his character.

This is a HUGE queer statement being made by this narrative. It’s unprecedented. And it’s specifically one of lesbian support.

Also it goes up against BL notions of the prioritization of a crush over mutual affection. Wai backing down is a way of saying not only is queer love as valid as het love, but that a crush is less important than the return of feelings.

Meanwhile, Ink’s stink eye is the best.

Ink asking for permission is even better. Gotta love consent. Not to mention cheek & forehead kisses.

Also the return of dark room romance!

Anyone else getting PickRome vibes?

Back to the main story:

Of course it all turns out to be the sins of the father. What did we expect?

Although, honestly, it’s a bit rich (pun intended) for someone in such a fancy-pants outfit to be complaining about having her life ruined. Things seemed to have, frankly and fashionably speaking, turned out okay for Pran’s maa.

Next week is ep 11, but who the f knows with this show? It seems to be specializing in non-standard BL behavior patterns.

Episode 11 - Doom Light

A sort of achey wistful episode 11, because we know, right along with the characters, that Pat & Pran’s attempt to escape the family strife is, in fact, doomed.

This whole honeymoon sequence (including the shoehorned allegory about Junior not wanting to go back with his mom + Uncle wasting his life on ideology) is just another one of those coming of age moments. Running away and still staying part of the world isn’t really possible, even if you don’t like the world or can’t fit into it (the world doesn’t like you).

For me the saddest part was at the end when Pat & Pran stand in front of their respective homes crying, because the idea of going home should feel good, and safe, when for both of them it’s the opposite. That is such a queer experience - it was like a gut punch.

And suddenly this show is reminding me of I Told Sunset About You.

I’m now going to speculate on the time jump final ep.

If they really are going to go there, that is a VERY Kdrama tactic. Under the auspices of the tropes of those dramas (and not BL) the following can happen:

the ending is left up in the air but slightly implies that they get back together (see Something in the Rain)

they get back together in the last 10 min of the last ep, in what feels like a super rushed job (see most het romance Kdramas)

we return to the Japanese roots (of both BL & Kdramas) and Bad Buddy doesn’t end with an HEA, but instead with them still apart and a sentimental romanization of lost love

In this last tactic, the romantic glory is vested in the unchanging nature of the memory of having once experienced the true passion of youth. The two characters often reminisce about their past over drinks together. I have been known, at my most acerbic to call this “Arthouse Smackdoodle.”

Now, I am open to being surprised.

In fact, please surprise me.

Because I don’t like any of these 3 options. In my personal opinion, Kdramas are unquestionably weak around endings.

On the other hand, with the increasing quality of the BL and companion talent, production values, and performances we must acknowledge the silly frivolous fluff is going to lose against the compulsion to be taken seriously. Especially in a narrative like this one, that doesn’t have a compelling story, just compelling acting and directing.

So I’m not sure if I should be legitimately scared by the Episode 12 teaser. Or if I’m being expertly manipulated to be scared. Or if I am betraying trust in Bad Buddy by being scared, even though it clearly wants me to be.

ARGH.

Honestly, this whole series journey has been a bit much for me. I’m happy Bad Buddy is ending next week not because I didn’t like it, but because I like it too much.

I need less stress and more poor quality Thai pulp bullshit BL in my life.

I know, I know. Be careful what you wish for. Paint With Love is still airing.

Episode 12 - Glory Be, They Stuck the Landing!

In which Tumblr collectively decides if BB can’t stick the landing, we riot. We did not get off to an optimistic start. I hate hate HATE the Kdrama time jump in the final episodes trope. If you’re gonna do a reunion romance you should do it from the start. I don’t like it when he has to go away and find himself by writing a novel, or solving a mathematical proof, or any of that rot.

It’s the equivalent of saying to the audience that the characters found something more important then their love for each other, yet we just watched a whole fuck-off drama about how important their love for each other was. You can’t do us dirty like that.

Oh look! I’m FINALLY ranting about this show and I am less than 2 minutes into the final episode. Only it’s not really this show at all. Squirrel!

Fortunately, as they have been doing all along, Bad Buddy subverted this trope too.

Take THAT Kdramas!

Pran apparently landed in Singapore. (Don’t make them speak English, please.)

Singapore is one of my favorite places on earth. That view out Pran’s window is of the Marina Bay Sands hotel, I've stayed there! Here's what the Singapore Strait looks like from the roof at sunrise (it’s my phone backdrop).

This has been your moment of glob trotter reverence.

I return you to your regularly scheduled waffling.

I actually liked the bit of Pat getting together with old friends. It reminded me of exactly that kind of thing in my own post-uni days, and the three on screen together are good. Made me wish I'd gotten more of that friendship dynamic all along. Jimmy really is a great addition to the GMMTV stable. I'm looking forward to his BL this year. (Did you know he's a doctor as well? Apparently.)

The reunion

Did I tear up at the longing glances across the room? Of course I did. I am, after all, a sap. Plus both actors are so good at emoting. However, the high school reminiscing at the reunion was too drawn out for me.

That said, I was happy to have been tricked for the first half of the episode.

They did long distance and stayed secret lovers the whole time. Nicely twisted but a bit too much audience manipulation. It’s going to fail on rewatch potential. Better than the other options, tho.

And then... the hanging photos trope. Been a while, a rarely used one but fun to see. Reminded me of Dark Blue Kiss and PeteKao’s secret anniversary - a sweet call back from GMMTV to one of their other “keeping it in the closet” romances. (Great, now I want do a DMK rewatch.)

T-shirt memory sniff... called that one.

Also that’s a v cute subversion of the punishment trope, Pran.

The horsing around and wrestling ending was pitch perfect for this couple and this drama but also pleasingly unusual for a romance story.

Bad Buddy really tread the line between BL and queer romance and I kinda adore them for that.

This is a special little drama, and how lucky to get to start the year this way.

The bar has been raised, Thailand.

In the end, I loved Bad Buddy.

The family struggles and friendship group made it a little bit difficult for me to take at times so I am not certain how much I’ll end up rewatching this one. We shall see.

However, the acting was really excellent and the ending was unexpectedly satisfying if not typical romancey. For now, I am giving Bad Buddy a solid 9/10 - 9.5/10 if I did that because of all the queer affirmation and effort put in to specifically subvert damaging Thai BL tropes.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

(source)

#gmmtv #bad buddy #bad buddy the series #thai bl #Nanon Korapat #Ohm Pawat #episode racap #episode recaps #patpran #pranpat #bl tropes #this week in bl #bad buddy analysis #pickrome #inkpa

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beauty-and-passion · 3 years

Text

What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

________________________

2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

________________________

3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

________________________

4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

________________________

5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

________________________

6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

________________________

7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

youtube

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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

youtube

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9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

________________________

10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

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carnationcreation · 4 years

Note

Can you do Luke Patterson fanfic where the reader is Alex sister and is in the band who’s been in love with Luke all this time but he never noticed her. And ever since they met Julie she has seen them together has gotten jealous.So she hatches up one finally plan to make him jealous to get him to see her . And Luke realized he had been in love with her and confess to her . Sorry if it’s too much this is my first time asking for a request 🥺

TITLE: Unrequited (Luke Patterson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Requested: Yes!

Prompt/summary: Reader does one final attempt at getting Luke to notice her.

Word Count: 1,615

Authors note: appear I just write a lot of angst. Again Where’s my Love by SYML is the vibe lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day we woke up on the floor of the garage in the year 2020 was the worst day of my life.

Or that’s what I decided at least.

Apparently we had spent the past 25 years in a dark room, with Alex crying for most of that time. The girl who found us, Julie, quickly became our only tie to the real world. We could only be seen playing if she was playing with us. We soon found out that we had unfinished business that we needed to attend to before we could properly cross over to the other side. We figured it was simple. Play the Orpheum and we were done. But getting to the Orpheum was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

Slowly we had started to build up a following on a thing called ‘YouTube’ where people share videos, I never thought such a wide library of videos could exist for free every single day. Practices became a daily thing, though I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

I really shouldn’t be jealous. Luke has chemistry with everyone he sings with. Alex would kill me if he found out that after all these years I was still crushing on his best friend. I couldn’t help the feeling in my throat when I saw Julie and Luke singing together though... the feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Like all the air was being sucked out of me while I tried to keep the feeling of anger from bubbling over.

Why can’t he look at me like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never meant to get him jealous, because I always thought making crushes jealous was unhealthy and only ever worked in the movies. But as soon as I started only talking with Reggie and Alex at practice Luke started to notice how I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him like I used to.

As time went on I started only singing with Reggie on stage for the harmonies. Every time I would look over afterwards I would see Luke staring at me with an almost blank expression.

The next few days were miserable for me.

My only desire then was to go up to him and tell him why I had been avoiding him. That I had seen every glance, smirk, smile, and laugh he and Julie had shared and say it was breaking my heart in two. I just had to watch in silence. The fear of causing drama within the band had taken precedent over my unrequited love.

I never meant for it to be taken this far. After Caleb branded us I truly began to wonder if my place in the band really meant anything to anyone. My feelings poured out over a page as I explained everything to them in a letter. A stupid letter that I didn’t know if I actually was going to deliver or not.

My worst fears soon became a reality after I saw their interaction outside of Luke’s house on his birthday.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I slipped the letter into his songwriting notebook and poofed out of the garage. I knew they would find it. I knew my brother would know the first place to look for me, so I avoided it.

I stood in the alleyway behind the Orpheum, tears falling down my face as I held onto my brother’s sweatshirt he had given me a few days prior. Hopefully I could still keep it.

“Are you ready?”

I turned around and saw Caleb standing in all his elaborate glory, “I guess so.”

He smirked, “Why so hesitant little dove?”

“Um,” I mumbled, a shiver went down my spine at his awkward nickname, “I’m just going to miss them.”

“Miss them? You’re going to miss them? Oh (Y/n), they haven’t even noticed you were gone. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Tears began to form in my eyes. Breathing became hard as I realized I had been sitting here for hours, and no one came yet.

“Poor (Y/n), in love with a boy who doesn’t even notice her. A brother who was rejected by even his parents, and a best friend who doesn’t even notice her feelings. You can leave all that behind, just shake my hand.”

I stood there, debating on if I really wanted to give it all up. Did I really get a choice in this? I slowly lifted my hand, still hesitating.

“(Y/n), look around. They haven’t even come for you yet, and I’m sure that rat Willie already told them what you were doing. They just don’t care-”

“That’s not true!”

I turned around and saw my band running towards me.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to him? He’s manipulating you,” Alex said.

Tears fell down my face as Caleb grabbed my shoulder, “You’re too late. (Y/n) just look at them. They didn’t even notice as you drifted further and further away.”

My eyes flickered up, Luke locked eyes with me. Tears were forming in his eyes, “(Y/n) please don’t do this.”

I looked back down at the ground.

Julie spoke up, “(Y/n), you really don’t realize how much you contribute to this band. We all care about you so much.”

“I doubt she wants to hear from you,” Caleb scoffed, “Seeing as you stole the one thing she most wanted away.”

The boys looked at each other confused but the look on Julie’s face told me that she knew exactly what Caleb meant.

“(Y/n) I promise you, Luke and I are just best friends. I’m so sorry you felt like you weren’t important to us anymore,” Julie said.

Luke looked up at me but I tried not to meet his gaze.

“(Y/n),” Alex said, “You’re my sister. I can’t lose you too. Please.”

Tears ran freely down my face as I pulled myself away from Caleb. Luke ran forward and caught me as I began to fall.

Caleb let out a frustrated yell and disappeared. I didn’t even bother to look up as I sobbed into my hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered to me. Alex pulled everyone into a group hug.

“Guys I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“This isn’t your fault,” Reggie said.

I brought my hands down to wrap around Luke’s shoulders, “I just didn’t feel good enough. I wanted to know if you guys really cared. I’m so sorry I should have said something.”

“We’re just happy we got here in time,” Alex said, he ran a hand through my hair, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

My tears came to a slow stop, and eventually we began to walk home.

“Guys, I’m taking (Y/n) somewhere. We’ll catch up.”

The guys waved as Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me in a different direction. It soon became clear where he was taking me.

“Do you remember this place?” he asked.

“Barely,” I said. I looked around the park I had always gone to, it had changed so much since 1995, “They tore the gazebo down.”

He looked over to where the rickety white structure used to be, a bathroom area was there now.

“I remember, you used to always go there after there was a fight at your house.”

I nodded, “Quiet, secluded, free to go to. Can’t tell you how many songs I wrote here.”

He pulled me over to sit on the benches near the playground.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said.

I looked up at the clouds, trying to get the answer straight in my head, “I just… I had seen how you looked at her. I wanted you to look at me like that. Once I started to pull away, no one seemed to notice. Caleb offered me his help, he said I’d be famous…”

“What made you hesitate?”

“I realized… I didn’t want a million admirerors, I just wanted one. Nothing could compare to that.”

I jumped as he reached over to grab my hand, bringing it over to sit in his lap as he covered it in both of his, “I want to be that person.”

“You always were.”

He smiled. He brought my hand up and placed a kiss gently on my knuckles. In a quick moment of bravery I leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

He placed both his hands on my cheeks before pulling me into a real kiss. The boy I thought I had lost was kissing me. The kiss I had always dreamed of but thought I could never have.

We both pulled away breathing heavily. I looked up and giggled at his swollen lips and tousled hair knowing I probably looked the same.

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to say this. I love you (Y/n). I’ve loved you since the day I met you, I loved you after we died, and I loved you every moment till now. I guess the only reason why I didn’t do anything is I was so scared of you not liking me back, or how your brother would react.”

I sighed as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, “How do you think he’ll react?”

“He told me while we were looking for you I should’ve asked you out weeks ago. He knows,” He laughed.

The sun had started to set, the light illuminated him making him look ethereal. I pulled him into another quick kiss, “I wish I had done this sooner.”

“What? The kiss or trying to sell your soul to a dead magician?”

I laughed, “Either.”

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me, “Don’t do the second one again anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @thebookwormlife @talksoprettyjjx @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse @igotabadfeelingabouteverything @larrystylinson-sus @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @peachyxdream @catieiscute2001 @julieandthephantomsblogduh @fangirling-allday @ashleyleblancx @alltimekp @wcnderwoo @unipanda1006 @disgustedchild @aberette13 @dpaccione @whyworry27 @number-0-iz @musicconversedance @owlgirl1209 @angelxfics @hamdehlesmis @solophantomsmultis @marinettepotterandplagg @idkanymoremansstuff @carleywhittaker @spooky-season-bitch @sunsetcurve-h @peresphoncs @lolychu @joshy-obx @mochamiilk @starenemy @caitsymichelle13 @kiss-themoongoodbye @noncannonships @cherrybombboom @etherealexsistence @itskindyl @heidimortensen123 @starkeysgirl @nicolewithasoul @chenellearose @voguesir

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #luke patterson #luke patterson imagine #jatp luke #jatp luke x reader #jatp luke imagine #luke patterson x reader #jatp alex #jatp reggie #jatp julie #jatp alex x sister!reader

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n0wornever · 4 years

Text

Best Friends Who Kiss? - Luke Patterson x Reader

“Can you make one where I’m best friends with Luke and everyone else (But little does Luke know I actually love him, everyone else can see it, but him.) I’ve liked him almost all my life...”

(This is the least amount of dialogue I’ve written in awhile, but with the way that it was requested, this style just felt right. let me know if you hate this style?)

It started out at recess in 2nd grade. She sat on the swings alone when he approached her, sitting in the adjacent seat. She looked up and smiled at him, and he, toothless and all, introduced himself to her.

“I’m Luke.”

After that, she was there through all of his fights with his mom, all of the ego-driven fights he had with Bobby over creative rights to their band's music, and the heartbreak over girls she barely knew. He was there through for her through all the trauma that came with her dad’s anger issues, her lackluster love life stories, and her frustration stemming from her art and her lack of confidence.

The rest was history. Quite literally after the accident. There was one thing that was for certain, that Y/N’s feelings for Luke stayed the same in life and death. His were a little less clear. After entering the world of 2020, they met Julie and she saw a spark in him that she had missed, even when he was playing with Bobby and the boys.

Luke started playing the guitar and singing back up vocals for Julie with the band, and the fire in his eyes was rekindled. Sometimes she sat in on rehearsals, but most of the time Luke was so preoccupied he didn’t even really speak to her the entire time she was there.

She started leaving a little earlier every day before rehearsal ended, making her way back to the park where they met in hopes that he’d join her. He never did, but she’d sit in the swing for a while and think about him and different moments between them.

Like the time when they were 11 and they were riding bikes when Luke fell and broke his arm in two places. She remembered him pointing to her in the emergency room and demanding that she was in the room with him, otherwise, he wouldn’t go in. He got his way and she sat next to him for hours during the stay.

Or when they were 14 and Luke had his first real date that ended in disaster. He showed up on her front porch that night because he just “wanted to hear her voice” and tell her all about the tragic events. That was the night that he told her that he didn’t think anyone would ever get him the way she did. She remembered her heart fluttering at those words.

Nothing ever happened between them though, and she was convinced now that even when her emotions got the best of her, Luke’s feelings were always platonic. She watched him sway and sing with Julie with this look of admiration she hadn’t ever seen before. Their voices and energies blending so seamlessly. Julie was so kind she couldn’t even find it in her heart to get angry at her. After they visited the nightclub the day of Julie’s performance she was certain that she had to make a decision. Caleb had an offer that wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be better than wallowing in self-pity every single day and masquerading as a part of a group that didn’t even recognize when she left.

She knew the boys could fight it, but she wasn’t even sure she wanted to at this point. So tonight, she was going to do it. She was going to meet up with Caleb and accept his offer.

She grabbed her coat that was left behind in the garage when she saw one of Luke’s old flannels spread out on the couch. She grabbed it, placing it over her body before putting on her jacket. She looked around the room once more before poofing out the of the room.

The boys reentered the space after a late-night exploring, hyped on adrenaline. He spun around, looking for a nightlight or a slight lull of music that would let him know that Y/N was home. When he saw neither he began to pace around the room.

Alex stopped him in his tracks, looking at him with wide eyes “Woah, Luke chill what is going on?”

He looked up at his friend with tears raising in his eyes “Where is Y/N, you don’t think she went back to talk to Caleb, do you?”

Alex shook his head, squeezing his bandmate’s shoulders “Breath, we have no clue if that’s where she went, let’s not go all doomsday before we think about our options.

Luke nodded, trying to swallow with the knot in his throat. “She loves the beach…but it scares her to be alone there at night, even as a ghost.” He thought about it some more “She loves that record shop on 3rd…but she….wait.”

He stopped and looked at all of his friends in the dim light that sent a spotlight into the center of the room. “You guys stay here, I think I know where she is.” He left the room in a snap, transporting himself to a familiar swingset. There she sat on the swing, twirling the chains above her until she let them go and spun around quickly. A light smile fell onto her face but fell quickly as she landed at a standstill.

He was slow in his movements, inching quietly into the woodchips and sitting down without making a sound. She heard the jingling of the chains next to her and looked over panicked.

“Hey,” he said quietly, watching her face settle as her eyes met his

“Hi,” She gave him a weak smile before diverting her gaze to the stars.

“Please tell me that you’re here nostalgia's sake and not because you’re thinking about what I think you are…” He started, pumping his legs back and forth to bring himself into the air.

“I…I don’t know.”

He slowed, slamming his feet to the ground before facing her “You’re really just going to up and leave me, after all these years? You didn’t think I deserved an explanation? At least a goodbye? Y/N, I thought we knew each other better than that”

She sighed, leaning against the cold metal as she let tears softly fall down her cheeks. She finally makes eye contact with him again, shaking her head at him.

“Like you’d even notice I was gone, Luke.”

He was silent.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like Julie and I think that she has made you a better musician… but you’ve replaced me and don’t even try to deny it. Reggie and Alex even forget that I live in the garage too half of the time. I’m like a ghost among ghosts, who even knew that was possible?!”

Her eyes fixed on the ground below her, she wanted to hear what he had to say. As he took a breath in, she shrunk a bit waiting for the worst.

“I….had no idea that you felt that way. I am, such an idiot. I haven’t even bothered to check in on you recently. Y/N I am so sorry.” She could hear his voice breaking and didn’t even need to look up to know that he was crying.

“It’s okay.”

He scoffed “Obviously it’s not fine when my best friend decides that disappearing into the night is a better option than being around me.”

She looked back up at him, shaking her head “That’s not what I meant Luke.” He stood up and walked over to her swing, standing in front of her. He leaned forward, inches away from her face. She felt her heart race at the proximity and the look in his eyes.

“Remember that night that I told you that you’re the only one who gets me?” She nodded, holding his gaze. “I meant that.”

She let the left side of her mouth raise a bit into a half-smile. Looking into his glossy eyes she got lost in so many times before, she didn’t know what to say. He didn’t wait for her to respond before continuing “I’m sorry I made you feel less than the most important person in my life because you are.”

She tried to speak but stopped her “Let me finish,” She nodded, letting him go on.

“I care about you so much, Y/N, and the fact that you even had to consider if that was true…it…” His voice shook a little as he took a breath in “It hurts a lot more than I could have ever expected.”

He got down on both knees in front of her to get at eye level. She bit down on her bottom lip as she looked at him, backlit by the moonlight and the street-lamps.

“I love you, Y/N.”

She wiped her tears onto her sleeve before responding “I love you too, Luke” He grinned at her, grabbing her cheeks into his hands and leaning in to kiss her lips. The kiss was soft and sweet and short, but it was enough to make her feel like it was a summer day on this cold autumn night. When they pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers.

“Please come home with me, please stay.”

She looked into his eyes, feeling his thumbs rub her cheeks ever so slightly. She nodded. He smiled through his tears, standing up and extended his hand toward her. She took it and rose to meet him. They interlocked their hands and walked the long way home.

Tag list: @xplrreylo, @lovesanimals, @anythingandeverythingfandom, @crybabyddl, @oswin05, @joshy-obx, @lukeys-giggle, @bumbleberry-pie @kiss-themoongoodbye, @anythingandeverythingfandoms, @marinettepotterandplagg, @lolychu, @bathtimejish, @dasexydevitt13@musicconversedance ,@txrii, @bestdressedandstressed, @daisiesforlacey @carleywhittaker @epikskool

#luke patterson x reader #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson #luke patterson fanfiction #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #jatp fanfic

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songandashadow · 4 years

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Favorite fics

hiya! here’s a list of my favorite fics (as of september 2020) in no particular order - the main pairing is, as always, Louis/Harry unless stated otherwise. If you enjoy, please don’t forget to leave kudos on these amazing works! :)

***PLEASE ALWAYS READ THE TAGS FOR POSSIBLE TRIGGERS***

☯ Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante | 333k

this is one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I’ve re-read it numerous times since. It’s SO good. This fic is so well paced and the writing is absolutely beautiful. There’s a lot of fluff and angst and to be honest, the smut in this fic is some of the best I’ve ever read.

☯ The Second Hand Unwinds by kingsofeverything | 51k

this author’s writing is so great. I like a lot of their other fics as well, but this one especially. I cried reading this, not gonna lie. The first time, the second time and every time after that as well. Great read.

☯ There's Such a Lot of World to See by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) | 125 k

I have never seen an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ in my life, but I love this fic anyway. Nice writing and pacing of the story. The characters are wonderfully written as well. Unsurprisingly, I also cried multiple times reading this. You’re probably gonna read that in a lot of my comments on this list.

☯ sometimes green and sometimes blue by itsmiz | 511k

Now, this fic (-verse) is just really fucking stunning. Amazing world building and writing in general (yes, again) that I’ve been reading since it was still a WIP. Though I know it’s not for everyone since it is A/B/O. The wordcount is a little intimidating too but you should definitely give it a try.

☯ Victorian Boy by audreyhheart | 101k

I originally read this on wattpad before I switched to AO3 and let me tell you; you’re in for a ride with this one. Victorian murder mystery with heavy angst featuring a slow burn romance. I’ve read this one multiple times too and it gets me every time.

☯ Red Brick Heart by hazmesentir | 98k

This is the first fic I ever read and I’m pretty sure it’s what pulled me into the world of fanfic in the first place. This fic also encouraged me to improve my english skills. I must admit: I haven’t read it since. I’ll have to though!

☯ Wild And Unruly by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews | 123k

A lot of people have recommended this work to me before, but I just never really got to it. When I finally did though, I fell in love instantly. Great characters. Loved Cowboy Harry and city boy Louis.

☯ Mine Would Be You by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) | 114k

Great writing from this author as always. The angst was - whew! But totally worth it. This is also a fic that just has that kinda vibe. Totally reeled me in and made me pull an all-nighter to finish it + I had a good cry. Exes to lovers with D/s undertones and a very happy ending. Writer Louis / Artist Harry.

☯ Young & Beautiful by Velvetoscar | 227k

There’s been a lot of talk about this fic in the fandom over the years. And I’ve come to the conclusion: one either loves or hates it. I happen to love this work. The character development in this is just - wow. Lots of angst too.

☯ Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k

Do I even have to say anything about this one? Perfect friends to lovers slow burn fic with that vibe I keep talking about. Famous Harry/B&B Owner Louis broke my heart in this one. All in all: absolutely stunning. I also love some of this author’s other works.

☯ my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach | 159k

Another fic that made me cry, but the otherworldly storytelling in this one makes every emotional outburst totally alright. Based on ‘The Time Traveller’s Wife’ Harry keeps waiting for Louis to catch up with him while he’s been in love with Louis for forever. To quote some of the tags: lots of pining, lots of waiting, lots of soulmate talk.

☯ Love Is A Rebellious Bird by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews | 134k

Another fic I put off reading for the longest time. I cannot remember why, seeing as it made it onto this list. The boys make a different kind of music in this one and Louis and Harry have a shared past that keeps coming in the way when they meet again. Angst (as you might have noticed: I love the pain), Hurt/Comfort and Bullying though it is in the past, there are flashbacks and characters talk about it.

☯ Remember Me Fondly by kiddle | 73k

All the boys still make music in this one, though in rivaling bands. Enemies to Friends to Lovers. The plot is very well paced (I know I keep repeating myself but it’s true), as are the flashbacks. The relationship between Harry and Louis is greatly paced as well. Nothing feels too rushed or too slow. I’m only a little sad about there being an end to the story. Could read this for days.

☯ come as you are by stylinsoncity | 77k

A lot of pining and angst with Professor Louis and his Teaching Assistant Harry. Though it isn’t tagged, there’s Louis/Original Female Character(s) in there plus a (tagged) Minor Character Death caused by a Terminal Illness. It sounds all really sad, but it’s a really wonderful fic. There is also poetry and, of course, literature.

☯ To the Ends of the Earth by stylinsoncity | 68k

While the band is on a yearlong hiatus, Louis visits Harry, who spends his time in a cabin in Idaho. During his stay there, long-buried feelings ignite. Very emotional. Some pining/angst and fluff/smut.

+ Susan Boyle makes a cameo. Kind of.

#larry #larry fic #larry fanfic #larry fic rec #favorites #Larry Stylinson #larry fanfic rec #fic rec #larry fanfiction #fic #rec #favorites 2020

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

youtube

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

#yugioh #ygo #yu gi oh #photo recap #recap #episode recap #yugi muto #seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Apdnarg #Grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #professor hawkins #and then I ranted about BTS #but please don't quiz me about BTS I know nothing about them aside from the music #I actually thought there were over 12 of them because every time I see them perform it feels like an entire stageplay production of people #like a 101 dalmations situation where every time I saw BTS there were 3 new people #I assumed it was like the Gorrilaz where people just show up and then disappear in a rotation #but no. There's 7 BTS members #that can't be right #there has to be more than 7 #is this a berenstein bears situation?#how is there only 7?#I swear there used to be like 16 #and they would be introduced like here's jimin and Jungkook and red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and pea #like is google seriously telling me there's only 7 kids in this band?#this is the biggest scam google has ever played on me #this weird alternate timeline that not only has an epidemic but also only 7 members of BTS

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colorfulandblack · 3 years

Text

So did you notice how every single song in JATP is dedicated to different character? I'm going to skip all the Dirty Candy cos obviously, and same goes to Caleb's HGC numbers. Bit for the rest:

Now or Never - this is the ultimate and only Sunset Curve song. It's THEM. But also have you read the lyrics?

"Clocks move forward but we don't get older, no" and "When all the days felt black and white those were the best shades of my life" it can be read two way. It's both about 1995 and 2020 and their life and afterlife. It's almost prophetic but you don't know it unless you keep watching the show. Also "we're the revolution that's been singing in the rain" watch out for the rain but cos it's echoed in another song.

Wake Up - so at first this seems to be Julie's song but hear me out. It's not. It was written by Rose, Julie's mom. The lyrics: "And you use your pain, cause it makes you you though I wish I could hold you through it. I know it's not the same you got living to do and I just want you to do it". Rose knew she was going to die and she wanted Julie to keep living. To keep playing music. It's her guidance from beyond the grave. It's precisely why this is the first song Julie sings in a YEAR. Because it's the LAST message her mom left for her. It's Rose's song for Julie.

Bright - this is Alex's song and you can fight me on it. Mind it was written back in the 90s - Luke gives it to Julie because it was one of the songs that Bobby hasn't stolen which means that they either played it before, live when they were alive (which seems sort of unlikely because it has more of a pop sound to it than say Now or Never) or because it was never played to the public before. Because it was private. Now again it wasn't something that was kept a secret either because the band joined Julie on stage and executed the song perfectly and they haven't reversed it before, couldn't have because at this point the boys didn't know they could be seen when playing. They sort of joined last minute. They were standing by and watching Julie to the almost last second. And now the lyrics:

"Sometimes I think I'm falling down I wanna cry, I'm crying out for one more try to feel alive. And when I'm lost and alone I know that I can make it home fight through the dark and find the spark" and "In times like that I doubted myself I felt like I needed some help stuck in my head with nothing left. I feel something around me now so unclear, lifting me out I found the ground I'm marching on" this is Alex, anxious, worrisome Alex who came out to his parents who weren't accepting. And his band was there for him. "I can make it home", home being the garage, his band, his friends. They helped him find his 'ground that he's marching on'. Also, I ain't saying that Alex and Luke dated back in the 90s but they definately dated. Just look at this:

"Life is a risk, but we can take it close my eyes and jump. Together, I think that we can make it, c'mon let's run" and "And rise through the night, you and I, we will fight to shine together, bright forever" WE WILL FIGHT TO SHINE TOGETHER, BRIGHT FOREVER. Shine as in unapologetly being themselves. As being happy and accepted and themselves.

Sure when Julie sings it it's about her incredible talent and trying to get back into the music program but again this song was written back in the 90s. It's Alex's song.

The Band is Back - Reggie's Jam. This is pretty self explanatory and the song might be simplistic and upbeat and very beach, summer like but is not without dept. The boys don't know where they stand with the band. They know they are dead and can be heard when singing and seen when playing with Julie but they are still dead. Now remember this song plays right after the boys leave the studio when Ray talks about his happy times with a wife that died. This hits close to home because well they are also dead. But also the way Ray talks about Rose. So much love and admiration. And now Reggie's parents who were "one fight away from divorce". And on top of that his house is gone so there is no way of him (at this point at least and without Julie's help) to find his family or even to learn if they are alive. This song, Luke says that he knows how to cheer Reggie up. But notice this. It's not something that Luke or Alex sing. No. Reggie is. I'm not going to mention that it is kind of weird that they had a song in the ready that's called "the band is back" as if they had a fallout before or something like that. But this aside, this is a song to remind Reggie that they are still friends and that they are family. The only family they are going to need. And they are going to stick together, life or afterlife.

"Can you, can you hear me?" "Loud and clear!" Is such a simple thing that is used on so many concerts to get the audience's attention. But here is different. Becaus eits reaffirming that Reggie is valid. That his voice is being heard and that he's safe. And by having Reggie sing the song - it's like saying "hey Reg we know this is terrible and it sucks but if you'd like we'll be your family and will me always stick around". By making REGGIE sing it, by making him announce that the back is back together is like giving him a choice. A choice to have Luke and Alex as his family. If Luke sang it it was as if he said: "we're your family" but the way it is it's more like a question: "we will be your family if you'll have us" and of course Reggie would that's why the band is back.

Flying Solo - Flynn's song. One of my personal favourites actually. Nothing much to add really. The lyrics are from Julie's dream box because the boys were looking for the kitchen again and are very personal. Flynn is a constant in Julie's life and by having her sing a song about her best friend, SING (a big change that has happened recently in Julie's life) is letting her in once again, having her in her life when the change happens. Letting her on the secret about the ghost band. And it's also an apology and giving her thanks. Because Julie is so thankful to have Flynn there. "My life would be real zero, flying solo without you"

And one more thing, notice how the boys sing nothing but chorus. On every other song the boys get a line or two to sing on their own, except Luke who is not ready to give up his front man position (which is quite fair since he writes the songs too). This song is entirely BY Julie and sang by Julie but is still a Flynn's song.

Finally Free - this is JULIE'S song. This is her first song playing PUBLIC (yes I know it was Bright but it was different. There was no band then yet.) It's her metamorphosis. The song reflects the change in Julie every time she sings:

"I'm awakened, no more faking so we push all our fears away. Don't know if I'll make it cause I'm failing under, close my eyes, and feel my chest beating like thunder. I wanna fly. Come alive. Watch me shine. " it starts off with noting Julie's life without music and then its restoration of it back in her life. Here is this word again, SHINE. It refers to the same thing just different situation. Sine as being themselves. Being true to themselves and singing their heart out.

"Hands up if you believe, been so long, and now I'm finally free. We're all bright now. What a sight now. Coming out like we're fireworks. Marching on proud. Turn it up loud cause now we know what we're worth" Now this can be applied to the entire band. They are visible again, they can be heard and seen. They are feeling as if they are alive again. But more importantly- remember how Julie couldn't sing in her class? How she choked back tears as she run away and Carrie's bitchy comment (it's not that I hate her but y'know if they used to be friends she must have known that Rose died so low blow). "COS NOW WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE WORHT" She proved to everyone that she can sing. She proved to her friends and family that she is getting better with her mother passing. And most of all that she feels closer to her when she sings. She is free. Free of pretending to be fine so her dad wouldn't worry. Free of bottling up all the fear of singing before Flynn and the inevitable disappointment because her friend knew Julie can sing but didn't to say with her in the music program. She is done proving things to people. She is shining bright and she is free.

Edge of Great - ultimate Juke song or a BAND song. Now let me explain, I love the ship I really do but-there is a but,however, I'm not going to go in about my slight concerns regarding Juke as it is canon so let me just jump into the analysis.

Of course it can be read as a Juke song but also as an Julie and Luke's song separately. "Running from the past. Tripping on the now. What is lost can be found, its obvious. And like a rubber ball we come bouncing back. We've all got a second act inside of us" essentially it's about how they all had their past, their demons to battle but they come together united in music. "This is an interesting little relationship you and I have" Luke said. And he was right. Because their relationship is not physical. Its a bond forged by similar life experience and the pain they draw from joined in music.

Now this bit, this 100% Juke right there: "I believe that were just one dream away from who we're meant to be. That were standing on the edge of- something big, something crazy our best days are yet unknown. That this moment is ours to own cause were standing on the edge of great" this gives me some serious throwback vibes to HSM. Also note how this is possibly the only song where Reggie and Luke don't share the mike. They stand next to each other but just watch Julie instead. Also, I think mentioned in other lengthy post about how Reggie and Alex intentionally poofed out giving Luke and Julie that last harmony moment by the piano.

Now this bit: "We all make mistakes but they're just stepping stones. To take us where we wanna go it's never straight, no. Sometimes we gotta lean. Lean on someone else to get a little help until we find our way." Now listen I mentioned the band. See I know this is the almost acoustic chilling chemistry packed moment when Luke and Julie sing. It's obvious they mean so much to each other. By the lyrics itself. It applies to the entire band. They were there to pick each other up and to provide a shoulder to rest their head on.

But as I said untimalte Juke song.

Unsaid Emily - now this, this is LUKE'S song. Obviously. But it's not only because it's dedicated to his mother. It's like Wake Up. It's the second song that is sang acoustically but just one person throughout. And it gives up such a great insight into Luke as a character.

"First things first, we start the scene from reverse, all of the lines rehearsed" THIS is how much his family means to him. He was going over this moment over and over and over in his head. Thinking what he would say. We saw in the show that he approached his house few times checking on his parents. Possibly hoping to come back but never doing it.

"I should have turned around but I had too much pride" he KNEW his parents were only looking out for him. But he was Luke. His music was EVERYTHING to him. Luke has a very single way of thinking of things. He didn't care, doesn't mean he didn't know, how hard it would be to make it. All that mattered it was his music. And it must have hurt. Because he says that his parents regretted buying him his first guitar. It's obvious that he was close with his parents with his mom so they must have not completely condone him being in the band. They just wanted him to have an option if the band won't work out. But Luke didn't see it like that. Because every time his parents tried to convince him to think about it for a moment to think about his future they were looking out for him but to him it felt like betrayal. Because to Luke it sounded like they had no faith in him, on his talent in his band and their chance or making it big. And it hurts SO FUCKING MUCH BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT. He knows it but as he sings he was too prideful to admit it. To come back.

"No times for goodbyes. Didn't get to applogise" and " conversations in my head and that's just where they're gonna stay forever" it's goddamn HEARTBREAKING because this song was written when he was still alive. He still stalked his house and his parents but THIS indicate that he thought things were beyond repair. Like he wanted to come back and apologise but thought it was too late. Like he would never get a chance to say he was sorry and ultimately he never did. Not until Julie.

"If I could take us back, if I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace and everytime would not erase me if you could only know I never let you go and the words I most regret and the ones I never meant to leave" everything he said was in the heat of the moment. He was hurt. But god, at this point I'm crying don't mind me, he thinks that he apologise would mean nothing. He says that if he could replace EVERY SINGLE WORD with I Love You he would but he think it would be erased. It would never be received. Thay it would dissapear. And ultimately it was. Because he died. He died and never got to say how sorry he was.

This song shows us the other side of Luke. Not only the side that only the band has seen before because I think that noone really saw Luke break down like thay when he was singing Unsaid Emily. He was bottling all of it inside and wouldn't let his friends to help him out. Because I refuse to believe that the boys wouldn't try to comfort him knowing that he was hunting around his parents both when he was alive and after.

And this song makes me ugly sob in every form, written, sang, seen in the show so thanks Kenny for it.

Stand Tall - this is the JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS song. The first one of many. And it's almost as heartbreaking as Unsaid Emily. First of all let's lay out the situation. Julie decides to sing ALONE and UNCERTAIN whether the boys would show up or not. Even if she still believes thay they are still there lingering, fighting to play the Orpheum with her and complete their unfinished business she would still lose them. When they cross over they are gone. And if they don't they will cease the exist in the afterlife. So no matter what Julie does she says goodbye to her family. And she STILL DECIDES TO SING.

"Whatever happens even if I'm the last standing I'ma stand tall." THIS FUCKING MOMENT. This is when the boys are supposed to come in. BUT THEY DON'T. They are still trapped in the HGC so JULIE LITERALLY IS THE LAST ONE STANDING. Because she thinks it's too late. She thinks they boys are dead.

I shit you not I scream everytime the boys appear and Luke flickering gives me a heart attach every single time but it's so powerful in terms of showing how much they mean for each other. When Alex and Reggie break free they are so happy to see Julie but when Luke can't get there quite yet the tension is palpable and I will never forgive Charlie for being the little shit when Luke finally appears exactly on his cue with a shit eating grin like he didn't almost die.

"Right now, I'm loving every minute. Hands down, can't let myself forget it, no cause everything is rushing in fast. Keep holding on never look back. And it's one, two, three, four times that I'll try for one more night. Light a fire in my eyes." This is so bittersweet because she is playing with the band. THEY MADE IT! But also she knows it's the last performance. And it's so powerful because she knows it and she will still keep trying. Keep playing music. Keep creating.

This is the ULTIMATE JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS, BAND UNITED AND TOGETHER SONG

But I want to note the literal chills I get everytime Alex and Reggie get their separate "whatever happens even if I'm the last standing I'ma stand tall" because it speaks VOLUMES. For Alex standing tall is being who he is. Unashamed and happy and loved. For Reggie is being with his family. Doing everything for his found family.

This is incredible performance and on top of that the boys disappear barely finishing their bow. If you listen closely. The second Julie stops singing all the music dies down except for the last line guitar strum, Luke's guitar strum and everything is quiet. You can hear Julie's voice, alone, still echo but that's it. The boys are gone.

House is Where my Horse Is - ok, I know it was a joke cos they are in the rock back and this is country song. But you ever listened to a country music? And I'm not talking about modern stuff but a good old fashioned country ballad. I had a moment of little musical crisis in my life and listened to some songs and honestly they are so bittersweet and full of longing and melancholy. 90% of them are about loss, whether that be of a parent (almost always father and almost always cancer) or love and hardships of life and struggle. And I think it's really interesting to give Reggie, a person who is nothing but optimistic and cheerful this characteristic. Because if anything it only underlines what we have seen before that he is not the sharpest tool in the shed but he's smart. He sees things, and he might get lost in the conversation but he sees everything else. And it's not the fist country song he has written either. Luke says "stop putting your country songs in my journal". It's an occurring thing. I just think it sheds a light a bit on Reggie's character as someone else than the goofball.

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iwanthermidnightz · 3 years

Link

*As usual, below I’m sharing excerpts from this article that are noteworthy*

What may come as a surprise to the band’s fans is the news that T.J., 36, is gay. This isn’t a recent revelation for him; he’s known since he was young, and he’s been out to family and friends in his tight-knit Nashville community for years. In some respects, he says, coming out publicly is no big deal. “I’m very comfortable being gay,” he says later, in a quiet room at the office of his management company. “I find myself being guarded for not wanting to talk about something that I personally don’t have a problem with. That feels so strange.”

But his reservations are understandable, given that country music remains a bastion of mainstream conservatism in American arts and culture. If liberal Hollywood is notorious for pushing a progressive agenda, country has historically been its counterpoint—a safe haven for traditional “family values.” Never mind that many country artists, like Nashville as a city, lean blue: They know that their primary market, like the state of Tennessee itself, skews red. The country music business is lucrative, generating $5.5 billion to Nashville’s economy alone, according to RIAA; if artists speak out, they run the risk of alienating listeners, particularly in an era when even anodyne statements of support for a cause can be misconstrued. The tale of the Chicks, formerly the Dixie Chicks, who were exiled after criticizing the Iraq War, looms large over country music. Taylor Swift even cited the band’s ouster as a reason she remained publicly apolitical for so long: “You’re always one comment away from being done,” she told Variety in a 2020 interview.

With this news, T.J. becomes the only openly gay artist signed to a major country label—a historic moment for the genre. He’s had predecessors, of course: Other openly queer artists, from Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile to masked cowboy Orville Peck to viral hitmaker Lil Nas X, have found success by integrating country influences into their genre-defying music, and country artists including Chely Wright and Billy Gilman have passionate fanbases. But T.J. may be the first to come out with his feet so firmly planted in both the sound and machinery of mainstream country, in the full bloom of his career.

He is worried that coming out will look opportunistic, or attention-seeking. “People will ask, ‘Why does this even need to be talked about?’ and personally, I agree with that,” he says. “But for me to show up at an awards show with a man would be jaw-dropping to people. It wouldn’t be like, ‘Oh, cool!”

What happens next remains to be seen. “I don’t think I’m going to get run off the stage in Chicago,” he says. “But in a rural town playing a county fair? I’m curious how this will go.” The professional risks he’s taking in coming out feel worth it, both for his own happiness and because, well, it’s time. Country music is about storytelling, and that means T.J.’s identity is inextricable from his music. Maybe, T.J. says, country isn’t the most popular genre among gay people. “But is that just because they’ve never had the opportunity to relate to it?”

But being closeted was painful. “It was so lonely and isolating,” T.J. says. “It made me resent people.” A first heartbreak in his early twenties crushed him all the more because he felt like he couldn’t tell anyone. “I was mad that no one knew why I was hurting,” he says. He channeled that anguish into his music. One song he wrote about that relationship, called “21 Summer,” has become a fan favorite, and you can see why: It’s a big, nostalgic singalong with lyrics about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze. It’s still tender for him—not just heartbreak, but how alone he was going through it. “There are so many times I’ve sung that song and wanted to cry,” he says. “People love that song, but the emotion of it is deeper than they even realize.”

As Brothers Osborne’s career grew, they made gestures toward inclusion, starting with the video for single “Stay a Little Longer,” which featured gay and interracial couples. For the most part, the response was overwhelmingly positive. “And then,” T.J. says, “there were people who were like, ‘Faggot lovers!’” This kind of reaction was especially discouraging for T.J., even amid the affirmation he had received from his family and friends. But staying publicly closeted was suffocating too—not only for him, but for the guys he dated. “Saying, ‘Hey, don’t hold my hand. Someone I know is in here, so can you wait in the car?’” he says. “Rightfully, they would feel unwanted by me.”

The months spent in lockdown due to the pandemic forced some introspection, and he realized the perfect moment to come out would never arrive; he had to create it for himself. “I want to get to the height of my career being completely who I am,” he says, then stops. “I mean, I am who I am, but I’ve kept a part of me muted, and it’s been stifling.”

But there’s also a chance that T.J.’s openness will widen the field for new fans to feel welcome. “Others will now feel invited to the country music party for the first time,” says T.J.’s close friend Kacey Musgraves, the singer-songwriter whose progressive-minded storytelling has helped earn her a mainstream fanbase. “Country music deserves a future even more honest than its past.”

When Ellen DeGeneres came out on the cover of this magazine in 1997, it was shocking to many—both the act of coming out, and how visible she made herself with it. Now, the tides have turned toward quieter declarations of identity, particularly as young people embrace more fluid expressions of sexuality and gender. For high-profile people, a high-profile coming-out has mostly fallen out of favor; a public figure might be as likely now to mention their queerness offhandedly on social media as they are to make a formal announcement. It’s a way of both controlling the message, and also, maybe, of minimizing it.

Even amid calls for greater inclusion, the homogeneity of the top artists in the genre is still striking. “Any steps that have been taken have been purposefully kept small enough to not ruffle feathers at country radio,” says Musgraves.

So I ask T.J. a question, which is: What if there is nothing to move on from? What if being gay is a gift, and your gayness is not something to be tolerated but something to be celebrated, and even if untangling the shame and confusion of growing up gay in a straight world takes a long time, it’s worth doing so you can use your voice, not only to sing songs about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze but to say, clearly and unapologetically, that this is who you are? What if there are a lot of gay boys in small towns who haven’t figured it out yet and feel overwhelmed by snarky TV sidekicks and glittery pop stars bellowing self-empowerment anthems, and what if those gay boys in small towns got to have an avatar of their own—if they knew that someone like them was singing that song about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze on the radio? Isn’t that why we spend so much time talking about representation, because as much as it’s a burden, it’s also the only antidote to the loneliness of being different? And—not to tell him how to feel, which is, of course, exactly what I’m doing—but isn’t this occasion, of owning who he is in a place where some people might prefer he didn’t exist, something to embrace instead of something to endure?

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barrykoeghan · 4 years

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time to rant about how i think the dance in emma (2020) is way more effective than in p&p (2005)

let me explain (buckle up this is long)

“they feel like they’re the only ones in the room/they only see each other”

p&p (2005) tells it to you right away and then shows it to you

emma (2020) there’s a whole fucking journey to get to it

in p&p, it starts with this:

there’s a boy, there’s a girl

the camera follows them one at the time until they meet in the middle during the dance

the conversation heats up, they stop stopped dancing. effective.

then, they start dancing again

it’s the last shot you see before it cuts to this:

then they’re dancing alone in a room bla bla bla until it ends we all know how this goes

and then it cuts to this

the fucking cuts: - it inexplicably cuts to other shots that are not continuous with the last shot you just saw. why. i have no clue. it doesn’t really add anything. you’d think it’s like a quick reminder that oh they’re not alone in the room, but having watched it again, i don’t get that vibe. i just get “they’re alone, now they’re not” and there’s no explanation for it other than you know they’re gonna hook up and this was meant to be a moment. there’s no loud noise that brings them back that could explain this kind of cut, there’s nothing. - i would have wanted a smoother transition. maybe digitally remove people one by one, or use one of those secret cuts for one shots when people block the camera by walking in front of it to then, again, smoothly see that oh people were here but now they’re not but you’ve been here the whole time you didn’t have to fuck off somewhere in another room to be alone. it happened all organically. - really fucking irritated about it. i really like SEEING them alone in a room, but it feels a bit patronizing in a way, as if they weren’t able to convey it or were too lazy to show this feeling in other ways

it’s kind of ordinary? - having seen emma, i can’t find anything spectacular about the way this was filmed. it’s just the camera playing ping pong from the same spot, then the camera circles them. i love the flow this has because you get the horizontal match of ping pong at the start (as it reflects their discussion -- very nice) and then, once they’re alone, it starts flowing and moving more freely. fucking wonderful. but you could also do that with any other scene and it would lose this meaning because there’s nothing else that makes it special. - and because of that, it doesn’t seem to be much visual storytelling happening, and by that i mean if you were to only look at the screenshots or watch it without audio, it doesn’t give you much to go on. two people dance and seem to talk, they stop, they look angry at each other, then they’re alone in a room dancing again. the dialogue and the music basically provides most of the storytelling in this scene, which, you know, it’s perfectly fine, but you’d think a scene that has this much impact would have a bit more? - all you get are three images from the same pov: her alone, him alone, them together. do i want more? no, it’s perfect the way it is. HoweverTM:

they actually visually tell you they’re alone before they show you they feel like they’re alone in the room - the filming already preps you for the big moment. they only focus on them. that’s it. that’s the whole scene pre-alone scene. they focus so hard on the characters that you already know they feel like they’re alone; they’re having a heated conversation in public during the middle of a dance. they already feel like they’re alone. otherwise, what’s the purpose of it all? if i can assume this from the context and how it was shot, why do i need another reminder? why both? why not just one of them?

dumb complaint, but the opening shot... - it gives you zero context. a good thing about it is that they show mr darcy first as to say hey this doesn’t happen often, this is special, buckle up. but then again, it starts with a somewhat close up and they never go in or out until they’re in the room on their own. there’s no perspective to it. i’ll call myself out and say it’s a really stupid thing to be upset about because, for example, if i wanted to show someone feeling lonely, you could fill a frame with their face and show there’s nothing else but them, EXCEPT the most effective way to show this would be a wide shot where they are indeed alone or in a corner. both are GREAT it depends on the context of the scene, of course, but my point is, why not just take the opportunity you have. you can open with one wide shot and never come back to it. at least you’re acknowledging this isn’t just about them. (it IS just about them, but since we already KNOW this by looking at the scene before it cuts, them being alone doesn’t have as much of an impact as it could)

it’s stupid how much i used to LOVE this scene and now i can’t even find anything to ramble on. it’s the same two things. it’s not like i have much to talk about.

so now there’s emma who just fucking went for it and annihilated p&p’s dance

there’s a context shot. this is it. you’re not meant to spot them, you’re meant to know they’re going to dance with lots of people surrounded by lots of people. this is important for later on.

now you get introduced to two important angles (hell yeah)

this voyeuristic candle pov that makes me want to fucking nut. this is my favourite pov. it’s meant to be her point of view, but as you’ll see in later shots from this angle, the meaning also doubles as OUR pov, like we’re intruding and watching from afar. i think this is very efficient because you get variety, personal interpretation, and depth. depth as in you’re behind the candles and they’re in front, you ask? no! the most important aspect is the horizon line!! they become the horizon line, and the people we barely make out in the back become just shadows in the background, and therefore, unimportant. you don’t need to make them leave the room to make it seem like they’re alone.

and then there’s this one, his point of view, but still not an over the shoulder look, so it’s still as if we’re looking from the side, but we’re not intruding as much, because this just sets the tone, they haven’t even begun dancing. there’s no need for two of these candle shots. the horizon line & background people thing still applies to this, but in a less dramatic and obvious way.

then we cut to this:

the smartest thing about this is that

1. you’re still intruding

2. the camera faces the side of the room with the most people (take note of the band)

3. in the second shot, it feels very intimate even though they’re surrounded by people so much so they block us from fully seeing them

then we get the first part which is only filmed this way once. (again, as an introduction to give you context.)

there’s a few important things here

the movement because they don’t insist on focusing on them at first to give you the vibe in the room, you get a lot of people moving in front and behind the two we’re kind of supposed to be focusing on. i think this is brilliant. it makes you want them to be alone, but they’re not there yet. you have to wait for them.

the lookTM even though the camera moves often and the shots change, we see him looking in her direction whenever he can. it’s so SIMPLE and it adds to two aspects: 1. the whole voyeurism thing; you’re catching him do this, it’s not meant to be a focus point 2. they’re slowly starting to show signs that they’ll feel like they’re alone in the room. the whole “staring at someone and being so enthralled by them it feels like it’s just the two of you”

now we get a subtle change. the camera switches sides and faces the other way. there were five visible musicians and we don’t see them anymore. remember when i said i would have liked for p&p to slowly remove people from the room? THIS is how you can do it, and all that was done was filming from the other side of the room. not only that, but there are only two couples next to them from this angle, unlike the other where there were three or four i can’t remember.

this is a nice way of controlling the crowd. are there more people in the background? we don’t know because we get a couple hiding them from us, keeping yet again a low people count, and then we get our two idiots literally blocking everyone from us and them

this has the exact same intensity as when darcy and lizzie are dancing in that empty room and yet. you get the effect of an empty room without having to vacant the whole place down.

this is also when it starts to get real romantic up in here. up until the twirling, there were a significant amount of people in the shots, but now, you’ll start seeing less and less (with one exception) of them. doing it gradually builds up great tension and makes you feel like you’re part of it.

it takes up until now to have our first close ups. the neat thing about it is they’re doing the same moves that first introduced the concept of them blocking out people in the room. filming like this (from the outside in) also induces the feeling of blocking out people

then we get a surprise midsection shot:

i thought about this a lot because it has the same vibe as the cut in p&p, but the thing is,

all the previous shots were from head to waist and the face close ups. there were NO close ups NO focus on anything specific. it’s kind of the visualization of “what happens under the covers” and i don’t know about you but......

bedroom eyes much??

they still are in the room, people are STILL dancing, we still SEE them in the background, but the camera focuses on the two. they’re simple shots in theory, but along with the whole journey you’ve just been through, it means so much more. these close ups are more important than they should be. the more they dance the closer they get, the more isolated they feel.

now there’s this part which i ADORE. she advances to him, but in a way, since it’s not a typical over the shoulder view, it feels like she’s coming toward us too. it’s done so slowly too, almost hesitantly, and the next shot of her back preps you for the next big moment.

before it happens though, there’s a quick throwback to the fact that there’s still people. autumn de wilde really said i got you bitch they’re not alone. it’s a weird thing, i’ll tell you, but i kind of adore it. it’s like getting cold water thrown in your face because we forgot.

i would have gifed this part but i’m lazy. their dancing come to a stop. just like how it did in p&p (before it CUT) and emma just yeets away from him in that last shot to continue dancing, like she too forgot herself like what just happened to us with that cold water shot. (the next shots prove he too has been splashed in the face and it’s not a one sided thing, or something WE looked too much into)

having yeeted away to take their place to dance again, the camera pans over to them. it follows them. like they were trying to escape all this and what just happened was clearly private.

and then the shots become more like they were at the start. wider. there’s people in frame again. but then they twirl to stop in front of the camera, blocking them again. they know.

and then you see why they stopped. if you look closely in the background, they danced on their own. this isn’t part of it. nobody’s dancing, they’re still in position, waiting. these two just went off on their own.

because they feel like they’re the only ones there.

it cuts to her dress again, them holding hands again. we’ve been prepped for this, but this time, knowing they weren’t MEANT to do this, it feels much worse.

and they retract, because that’s that. what more can you do.

and then it ends here. it’s too late, and you don’t need another reminder they weren’t alone.

it doesn’t matter anymore.

#should i tag this????#emma #emma 2020 #*mine

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atruththatyoudeny · 4 years

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Monthly Reads | September 2020

Happy 28th! All the love for all the authors in this fandom. Thank you for making my days better with your work! ♥ Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: 🍂 Remember Me Fondly | kiddle | enemies to friends to lovers - 1990s - historical - angst - humor - closets - 74k “You’ve told the beginning of the story so many times. I want to hear the end.” Louis laughed, scratching at his chin. “I can’t say I really know when the end happened.” “How about the tour of ninety-five?” “Alright.” Louis took a deep breath. “But it took a few steps to get there. What would you like to know?” Penny cleared her throat. “How did you first meet Harry Styles?” Grunge legends Fearless Doe topped the rock charts in the ‘90s, but they spent the decade kicking Smudge off their heels. From lawsuits to jaw-dropping scandals and a surprising joint world tour, the two bands share a complicated history. Twenty-five years later, frontmen Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are finally ready to sit down and tell the world their two sides of the same story. Truth may vary.

🍂 you came into my life | disgruntledkittenface | Queer Eye AU - american AU - closeted character - Coming Out - pining - fluff - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - 57k They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?” Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no. “Not here,” Liam says finally. When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

🍂 Everything I need I get from you | jaerie | a/b/o - mpreg - strangers to lovers - emotional/ psychological abuse - sexism - unplanned pregnancy - 10k In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.

🍂 at last, at last | suspendrs | post-apocalypse - dystopia - cult - mentions of violence - mentions of death - homophobia - internalized homophobia - 41k “Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.” Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway? Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

🍂 give me love | falsegoodnight and soldouthaz | a/b/o - past relationship trauma - past abusive relationship - slow burn - touch deprivation - touch starvation - nesting - angst - fluff - 41k Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas. - Or, Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

🍂 You, Who Never Arrived | abrighteryellow | Only You AU - strangers to lovers - 90s AU - world travel - soulmates - fluff - angst - Fate & Destiny - 42k “That was him, Niall.” He claps a hand over a disbelieving laugh. “My soulmate – the person I’ve been waiting for since I was nine years old. That was him on the other end of the phone.” “But it can’t–” Niall stutters, unsure of what to do, how to put a stop to this. “That wasn’t real.” “Wasn’t it?” Louis rushes past him, zipping up his fly. He grabs a black denim jacket from a hook near the door. “Then who did I just talk to?” “Where are you going?” Niall demands as Louis pockets his keys and swings his front door open. “I just have to get a look at him. I just have to see, that’s all!” “You’re not serious. Louis, it’s already late.” “He’s at the airport. Fifteen years I’ve been expecting him around every corner, and now he’s half an hour away. I can’t just sit here.” “Bu–” “I’m not going to do anything crazy, I promise. I just–I have to see him. This is my chance. Maybe my only chance.” Louis Tomlinson is days away from marrying a perfectly nice podiatrist when he gets a phone call that changes everything. Or, the Only You AU in which Louis has a soulmate and it's definitely not Harry Styles.

🍂 Shall we sleep, my love? | givelourrylove | angst - emotional hurt/comfort - kid fic - 15k There is so much sincerity in Harry’s voice. So much that says you, Louis, I look forward to seeing you, you and your soft eyes and your petite body, just you, you, you, but Louis forces himself to ignore that. To gulp it down again, sizing up the lump that had formed beneath his lungs, possibly reappearing any time and choking him with everything he decided not to think about for the past year. or Louis loses his job as a teacher, has to move out and find somewhere to live. A certain someone named Harry offers his home to Louis and his son. Pining, crying and reading bedtime stories involved.

🍂 so much I could live for I could die | louisnights | dystopia - trans character - sexual harrassment - friends to lovers - strangers to friends to lovers - no smut - 15k “Sometimes I wonder what’s out there,” Louis confesses, tucking into his second biscuit. “I wonder if what they’re saying is true, about the Thieves, about the other compounds. Why are we not allowed to leave? Go to other compounds?” Lottie gets up, letting out a sigh as she squeezes his shoulder. “You shouldn’t think like that, Lou, it will get you killed.” “They can’t take away my thoughts,” Louis answers defiantly. Lottie pats his shoulder before she disappears to her room, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. or: Louis is a transgender man who escapes his compound after extenuating circumstances, and meets the Thieves, who show him what freedom really is.

🍂 A Road To Hope | he_wants_to_write | historical - World War II - 1940s - farm/ranch - PTSD - emotional hurt - hurt/comfort - angst - mental instability - internalized homophobia - 18k “We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.” It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch. or In the heat of April, 1944, an escapee soldier lost in a dirt-road stumbles upon a small farm and finds himself recovering from the traumas of World War II in the simplicity of a frugal life, with the help of a little boy's innocent soul, and a farmer's hopeful green eyes.

🍂 With Love's Light Wings | 4ureyesonly28 and reminiscingintherain | Rome and Juliet AU - a/b/o - 1920s - marriage proposals - 12k Two households, both alike in dignity, / In fair London town, where we lay our scene... — Or something like that, anyway. On either side of the River Thames live Louis Montague and Harry Capulet, their noble packs entangled in a feud so old, nobody even remembers what caused it. As fate will have it, against all odds, they fall in love. Harder than the bricks that make up their families’ estates and faster than a Duesenberg car. AKA The 1920s ABO Romeo & Juliet AU that we desperately wanted to write.

🍂 The Very First Words of a Lifelong Love Letter | LiveLaughLoveLarry | first meetings - friends to lovers - weddings - no smut - 9.5k The prompt I picked was (lightly edited): "Harry and Louis have been best friends ever since they met through fandom (I picked Critical Role) twitter. Person A (I picked Louis) lives in New York City and Person B (Harry) lives in the UK. They’ve never met in person but they FaceTime and text daily. Person B’s cousin is getting married to a rich American who’s paying for the entire family to travel to The Hamptons for a summer wedding. Are Harry and Louis ready to meet?" ~*~ Harry thought he was just imagining things when the flower girl looked like one of the twins, but -- he’s almost certain that groomsman is Louis. The pictures he's seen haven't been the best quality, granted, but he knows Louis. He does. Harry stares wide-eyed as he walks down the aisle in step with the bridesmaid, taking their places on either side of the stage. As they turn to look out into the audience, Harry’s strong suspicion solidifies into certainty. That’s Louis. He’d bet his life on it. But Louis doesn’t look at him, and it’s not like Harry can wave. He can only stare, mouth still hanging half-open. Suddenly, as much as he loves weddings, he can’t wait for this one to be over.

🍂 promise you'll remember (when the sky is grey) | Anonymous | american AU - summer - 33k "Once you come to this town, you find that it's not so easy to leave," Niall spoke with a fond tone in his voice. "Canyon isn't a place that one leaves behind easily." "I guess we'll be able to test your theory come August," Harry spoke with a small grin, "because I'm set to leave on the twenty-ninth to get back to work in LA." Niall smirked back in reply, "I guess we will, but mark my words, you'll end up finding something to make you stay. We all did." Harry laughed, surprised at the man’s unwavering confidence in his statement. "We'll see." - a summer spent in small town Maine, filled with trips to the farmer’s market, lemonade tailgating, taylor swift, and falling in love at quite possibly the most inconvenient time ever (not necessarily in that order).

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly reads #monthly fic rec #my reads #my fic rec #completed fics #larry fics

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soundsof71 · 3 years

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So, considering you are a passionate fan of music released in 1971, I feel justifiably obligated to ask you what you think of Buffy Sainte-Marie's 'She Used to Wanna Be a Ballerina' album. 😂 (Also, it would make me beyond happy if you could post more about Buffy, my friend! Thank you! ❣)

Buffy Sainte-Marie + Crazy Horse - what’s not to love? LOL I confess that it was the Crazy Horse connection that caught my attention first. I had a general idea who Buffy was, had seen her on TV a few times, but I was a big Crazy Horse fan. News that they were her backing band for this album was easily enough for me to scoop it up.

They weren’t doing anything much with Neil Young in 1971 (other than this album, on which Neil also appeared!), but they had released a tasty solo album in February 71, produced by Jack Nitzsche (who also produced this, and would later marry Buffy), and featuring Ry Cooder (also featured here, although did not marry Buffy).

(btw, the first place that Buffy, Ry, and Jack worked together was on the Nic Roeg film Performance, starring Mick Jagger. People obviously remember Mick in that, but musically, Buffy was the best part!)

She Used To Wanna... also features Jesse Ed Davis, a Native American guitarist and singer who was a frequent “usual suspect” at these sort of “sure, invite everyone!” jam albums of the era, and played a prominent role at 1971′s biggest concert (at least in the US), The Concert for Bangladesh on August 1.

(I know you know RUMBLE: The Indians Who Rocked The World, the documentary about indigenous music’s influence on rock and roll, which has chapters on both Buffy and Jesse Ed. I just watched it again recently, and love it! A reminder of Buffy’s pivotal role in classic rock history. Not mentioned in the film: she relentlessly championed the work of her fellow Canadians Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen, helping them get their first record deals.)

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I haven’t listened to She Used To Wanna Be A Ballerina for a while, so I definitely need to do that, along with posting more pictures of Buffy. (I can’t believe I’ve only posted two!)

But I’ll tell you what still stands out to me about that record years later. “Smack Water Jack” is an underrated track from Carole King’s Tapestry that got a ton of airplay at the time. Quincy Jones did an instrumental cover as the title track for his terrific 1971 album, too, but it has somehow faded to obscurity since then. Buffy takes a playful trifle, and turns it into a powerful fable of men of color who explode into violence in response to the violence visited upon them, and self-satisfaction of whites in authority who answer their demands for better living conditions by killing them on the spot.

No need for a trial when you can murder them in the streets, right? “You can't talk to a man when he don't wanna understand / And he don't wanna understand” hits different when Buffy sings it, and in 2020 for that matter.

It’s also just a terrific performance whose combination of soul and rock and roll and driving piano in a sort of Old West-sounding context would have made this sound right at home on a record like Elton John’s Tumbleweed Connection or something by The Band. I’m limited to five video embeds per post so I can’t embed it here, so I'm linking instead: anyone who hasn’t heard this definitely needs to.

Her cover of Neil’s CSNY track “Helpless” has things I like even better than Neil’s original, including Merry Clayton standing in for CSN. Buffy’s version is more muscular (thanks again to Crazy Horse), and taps even more deeply into the isolation of the song that the star power of CSNY somewhat obscured.

Buffy’s version also made a brief but memorable appearance in the 2018 film Hotel Artemis, starring Jodie Foster. A weird little movie that I loved maybe more than it deserved LOL but I recommend nonetheless:

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I know that this album gets attention because of the unusual number of covers, including one by Leonard Cohen, and a cover of a cover that Leonard had made famous on top of that, called "Song of the French Partisan” (hers is the far superior version imo, a song of French resistance to Nazi occupation from the perspective of a woman hiding a resister), but there are a couple of standout originals too.

I love the title of this record, and the title track is a delightful little stomper that playfully cautions against equating the intentions of grown women with the childhood fantasies they’ve grown out of. More Merry Clayton goodness here on backing vocals too.

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“Soldier Blue” is a powerful song first written for the 1970 film of the same name, billed at the time as “The most savage film in history” -- and maybe it was. It used the 1864 Sand Creek Massacre as a metaphor for Vietnam, and it's still shockingly brutal. It was the third-highest grossing movie in the UK in 1971, though, and the single became a top-10 hit for Buffy there.

It didn’t do as well here, either the song or the movie. Perhaps not shockingly in retrospect, Soldier Blue was pulled from American theaters after a few days, the Vietnam metaphor not at all lost on the Nixon administration.

As horrifying as it was, this is about when I was reading Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee (first published in 1970), and Soldier Blue resonated with me in a whole lot of ways. Here’s the song in the opening credits of the movie.

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I was also really struck by “Moratorium”, which is the story of “Universal Soldier” (from her 1963 debut, but a bigger hit for Donovan in 1965), coming from the opposite direction. In the earlier song, she blamed war on the soldiers who think that fighting is honorable, but here, she has empathizes with the young men, boys really in many cases, who’ve been lied to by their countries, their parents, and even their friends. They’re not vainglorious. They’ve been duped by people they trusted.

(I don't think she takes enough into account how many men sign up to fight because they want to embrace and celebrate their worst, most violent impulses, which was of course an undercurrent of “Universal Soldier”, but I appreciate her empathy here. More than one thing is true at a time.)

Buffy goes even farther, though, calling on soldiers to support and validate demands for peace as explicitly supporting them, summed up in the unforgettable cry, "Fuck the war and bring our brothers home!"

1971 was the peak of antiwar demonstrations in the US, with the biggest crowds ever seen in this country until the 2017 Women’s March. The May 1971 demonstrations pretty much shut down Washington, culminating with Vietnam Veterans Against The War throwing back their medals on the steps of the US Capitol, incredibly powerful stuff to see on TV in my formative years, and Buffy was right there in it. Anti-war songs were a cottage industry for sure, but nobody was writing with the nuance and empathy that Buffy was.

Here’s a 1972 performance of “Moratorium”, Buffy and a piano, and more emotionally bare than that:

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There’s obviously lots more to say about Buffy, far outside the realm of protest music that was actually just a small part of her musical palette -- her pioneering experiments with electronic music, her educational philanthropy starting in her 20s, Sesame Street, you name it. Her commercial peak was still in front of her, and while I can’t say that this is my favorite of her records, it does have some of my favorite songs of hers, and 1971 and She Used to Wanna Be A Ballerina is definitely where I went from knowing who Buffy Sainte-Marie was to being a fan.

I'll also note as I do now and again that while this blog started as an offshoot of a book on 1971 that I’d started but abandoned, I mostly listen to music released now. That’s always been my policy, including in 1971. When 1972 rolled up, I was mostly listening to music from 1972, music from ‘80 in ‘80, ‘91 in ‘91, 2018 in 2018, etc., to name just a few other favorites. (Plus The Beatles, okay? LOL I still listen to The Beatles every day. No apologies.) Honestly? It took me until 2011, in my fifties, when a whole bunch of 40th anniversary editions of 1971 albums got released all at once that made me think, “Wait a minute, this was maybe THE pivotal year in classic rock history!”

So yeah, the historian in me dug into 1971, but even though I happened to be alive and enthralled by music in that year, what I’m doing here has nothing to do with nostalgia, or any idea that that was the *best* year in music, even if for the narrow slice of music that is classic rock, yeah, it absolutely is. For soul/R&B too, and for the explosion of women artists outside the even narrower confines of pop as well. This is not subject to debate. No year like it, before or since. It's just that classic rock is a such a narrow slice, and I like my slices wide. LOL Which is also why my blog has less and less 1971 content as I go along.

While my general policy is that my favorite year for music is THIS year, this particular year hasn’t left me as much energy as usual for listening to music. Some of it is These Trying Times™, some of it is my bipolarity and schizophrenia getting the better of me in waves, as is the way with these, uhm, things. (Keep taking those meds, kids!) I listen to music and post about the people making it as a creative act, not a passive or reflexive one, and I just haven’t felt as creative as usual.

(This is also has everything to do with why so many Asks have been piling up unanswered. I apologize if you’re one of the many kind and indulgent souls who’s gotten in touch, but I swear I’m gonna get to ‘em all!)

To get an idea of what I’m ACTUALLY passionate about right now, my “to be edited later” running list of 2020 favorites randomly added to a playlist as I encounter them, to be properly curated later, is at Spotify, cleverly entitled “2020″ -- 94% women, which is about right. LOL

But since I do in fact listen to old stuff (by which I mean 2019 LOL), I made a list of mostly 2020 bangers from women rockers with some tasty treats from 2019 that I haven’t been able to let go of just yet, inspired by a post I saw at tumblr saying that punk music by women is just plain better (also beyond debate), called “Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam”. I’ll be posting an essay with a YouTube playlist soon, because god forbid that I only talk briefly about anything LOL and most of these women need to be heard AND seen.

Like Buffy Sainte-Marie, whom you'll both see and hear more often on my blog soon. Thanks for the reminder! Always a pleasure to hear from you and be challenged by you. :-)

Peace, Tim

#ask #musicrunsthroughmysoul #buffy saint marie #women in rock #1971 #she used to wanna be a ballerina #1971 album #youtube #1971 single #crazy horse #essay #me

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missmitchieg · 3 years

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Boys Love Girls & Boys (But Girls Do, Too)

Reggie groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face as he stood just outside of Julie’s bedroom, mentally preparing himself to have a talk with her. It wasn’t that he was nervous at all. He was totally fine. It was just a subject that was always a little bit uncomfortable for him, since he understood this thing about himself: He liked boys.

He did like girls! He liked girls a lot! He just happened to also like boys. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. He was pretty sure now that his first crush on a boy was when he was 12. It was a kid at school named Cody, who Reggie just thought was the coolest guy ever. He was a year older than Reggie and his parents let him stay up until 11 PM and not to mention how funny and how cute he was. There had even been quite a few crushes after Cody’s parents moved away to Wisconsin. None of which his best friends, and definitely not his parents, knew about. None of which he really understood at the time were crushes. Well, he sure did now.

This really wasn’t something he could just casually talk to his parents about back then if he had known. Not when he’d heard the awful way they both thought about gay people and how they “ruin everything and just want to watch the world go up in flames“. Not when he’d seen the way their faces grew disgusted and angry whenever something on TV had a gay character or two. So yeah, talking to his parents was absolutely out of the question when it came to this.

He didn’t even know if he would really feel comfortable talking to the guys about it, either. He knew they were his friends, and he trusted them and loved them, but when they were alive, he could never really make himself talk to them about it. Not even after Alex had told them he was gay. So he decided to just not think about his attraction to boys. Ever. He liked girls and that was that.

And then they died. Then Julie came along, and suddenly it wasn’t 1995 anymore. It was 2020 and everything seemed to be so different now. Maybe now, things were better than they used to be. Maybe now, he could put a word to his feelings. If not, he still got to spend some time with Julie, who he saw as somewhat of a little sister to him now.

So now here he was, lifting a fisted hand to knock on Julie’s bedroom door. He bit his lip as he was about to knock and sighed shakily, blinking back another tear. He shook his head and knocked on the door, scratching the back of his neck as he waited for Julie to answer the door and let him in.

“Guys?“ He heard Julie call, steeling himself to actually do this. “I-it’s just Reggie.“ He answered quickly, putting on a weak smile when she opened the door with a grin. “Hey, Reg- Woah, you ok?“ She asked, her smile dropping when she saw how stressed Reggie was looking. “What’s going on?“

“What? Oh, um- No, I’m fine. Just, I had something I wanted to talk about.“ He said as he rubbed his eyes, walking in when she stepped aside. “It’s just- Um, it’s awkward and I’m kind of nervous.“ He said and sat on the edge of the bed after asking for permission to with a look.

“So-” Reggie bit his lip and picked a spot on the wall to stare at, wringing his hands. “So boys like girls, right? And girls like boys. But sometimes girls like girls, and boys like boys.“ He started, making Julie quirk an eyebrow and place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Yes?“ She said slowly, tilting her head. “Reggie, what’s this about?“

Well, he guessed now was as good a time as ever to just come out and say it. He opened and closed his mouth twice over and sighed, looking up at Julie. “I don’t know if there’s a word, in 2020, for what I am, but I know I like both boys and girls.“ He admitted softly and leaned into Julie’s comforting touch. “I’ve been feeling this way since, um, I think I was 12.“

Julie paused and took in Reggie’s words, her eyes softening as she watched him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Me, too.“ She said after she pulled away, looking down at her pink, purple and blue threaded bracelet. “Um, the word for that is bisexual. I’m bisexual.“ She smiled, playing with her bracelet. “Flynn made me this bracelet with the bisexual pride colors after I came out to her.“ She said, playing the memory back in her head.

After a minute or so of silence from Reggie, she looked up at him in concern. “Reggie?“ She asked softly, seeing him staring at that spot on the wall again. “Hey, tell me what you’re thinking, buddy?“ Reggie looked up and blinked, shaking his head a little. “Sorry. Sorry. Just, um- It’s all just a lot to process. I haven’t thought about this since I was alive.“ He told her, messing with his flannel sleeves.

“Can I ask what made you think about it now?“ Julie asked and sat next to Reggie, making him blush and cover his face. “Alex and I were teasing Luke about his crazy chemistry with you and- It was a joke!” He said quickly when he saw the slight glare Julie was giving him. “And he wanted to prove that he had chemistry with everyone so he started singing to me and he did this thing where he grabbed my neck and kissed his fingers and pressed them against my lips and I froze for a second, and-“ Reggie groaned, looking at his hands in his lap.

“And it made you feel something.“ Julie said simply with a nod. Reggie nodded, too, grimacing a little. “But I don’t like Luke, like, in that way! He’s totally yours, Jules!“ He assured her and shuddered. “He’s just my best friend. It’s just in that moment when he-“ He mimed grabbing something, kissing his fingers and holding them in the air, mimicking Luke’s actions. “It kind of gave me butterflies and made me remember some crushes that I had on boys when I was a kid. But I don’t think I knew at the time they were crushes.”

“I think a lot of us don’t really recognize crushes we had as kids as crushes. It’s just a gay/bi kid thing, you know?“ Julie said with a little laugh, leaning her head on Reggie’s shoulder. “So... You think you wanna tell the guys?“ She asked, staring at the same spot Reggie was staring at before feeling him tense up slightly. “Oh... That. Right.“ Julie looked up, watching him curiously. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell them that I’m, um, bisexual.“ He started, still getting used to calling himself that. “Just- Nevermind. It’s really stupid.“

Julie stood up in front of Reggie and grabbed his face in her hands gently, shaking her head with a stern look in her eyes. “Hey! Hey. No. None of that. Whatever it is, it’s not stupid, Reggie. Whatever it is, it’s how you feel and it’s completely valid.“ She said in a gentle voice, pushing Reggie’s hair back. “If you don’t feel like you’re ready to tell them yet for any reason, you absolutely do not have to. It’s your choice and your right to tell them or not tell them.“

Reggie blinked and stared at Julie with wide, unsure eyes. No one had ever said anything like that to him and he didn’t think anyone had given him a reassurance with as much certainty as Julie just had... Ever. "Really?“ He asked softly and bit his lip, his eyes searching Julie’s face for any hint of a lie or uncertainty, finding none. Julie frowned but nodded and wrapped the ghost she’d come to see as her brother in a tight hug, burying her face in his neck when she felt him return the hug just as tightly.

She pulled away after a while and smiled at Reggie, sitting next to him again. “Whenever you’re ready, you know I’ll be right there with you, Reg.” She said, solidifying the claim with the same pointer promise she would always do with Ray. “Because you’re like my other brother and I always want to be there to support you, in everything.” Reggie smiled a little and nodded, keeping their fingers linked.

”It’s just- I know the guys love me, right? And I know they’ll be fine with the fact that I’m bisexual. It’s just this one little part of me that wonders what if they’re not. You know? Because the way my parents and some other people talked about gay people was so awful and mean and-“ Reggie frowned and shook his head, not wanting to relive the moments like that. “A-and just that it’s so new to me. I mean, I never even knew there was a word for it. Or that I wasn’t the only one.“

“Yeah. I totally get it. I was SO scared to come out to Flynn and dad. It was so hard, until it actually happened. I came out and then I felt free.” Julie nodded in understanding at every word out of Reggie’s mouth, getting an idea as she looked up at him. “So. You wanna watch some more Adventure Time before band rehearsal starts in an hour?“ She asked and reached for the remote, giggling when he perked up and nodded instantly. She turned the TV on and flipped to Cartoon Network, happily settling down to watch her current favorite cartoon with her big brother.

It wasn’t until two weeks later that Reggie got the feeling in his chest that he was ready to come out to the boys. They were halfway through rehearsing for a gig Flynn booked them like the awesomest manager ever that she was. They had started perfecting Reggie and Alex’s back up vocals in their newest song when Reggie stopped, took a breath and stepped toward Julie, nodding his head silently.

Julie felt an excited grin grow on her face as she turned to face Luke and Alex, signaling to cut the music. Alex furrowed his eyebrows but nodded and looked at Luke, who just shrugged in response. “Something wrong, boss?“ He asked, gently tucking a curl behind Julie’s ear, making her blush. “Hey, no. Nothing’s wrong. Reggie just has something important he wants to share.“ She assured him with a sweet smile and took Reggie’s hand in hers, giving him a gently supporting squeeze.

Alex looked at Reggie, recognizing something in his eyes. Anxiety. Excitement. Worry. Pride. Oh, this was definitely something big. He stood up quickly and walked toward him, watching his body language closely. “What’s going on, bro?“ He asked, laying an equally comforting and supporting hand on his shoulder while Luke gave him a smile.

Reggie smiled and squeezed Julie’s hand back, leaning into Alex’s touch. “I just really wanted you guys to know, because you guys are my best friends in the world and I love you, that I’m... I like both boys and girls. You know there’s a word for that now? I’m bisexual.“ He said, letting out a breath and feeling his shoulders relax themselves. Wow. Julie was right. This really did feel like freedom. His smile widened as he looked at Julie, who was grinning proudly at him.

“I’m bisexual, too.“ She told them, fiddling with the pride bracelet around her wrist. “That’s why I have this bracelet Flynn made for me. It’s the bisexual pride colors.“ She said, smiling down at it. “Julie? You think you can ask Flynn to make one for me, too?“ Reggie asked, admiring the bracelet freely now. “Can she make me a rainbow one? I have this thin, tiny one, but it’s nowhere near as good as yours.“ Alex asked, gesturing to his thin, barely there rainbow bracelet.

Julie let out a giggle and nodded quickly, making a mental note to ask her for one as soon as possible. “Of course, Alex. We got you, bro.“ Alex grinned thankfully and nodded, squeezing Reggie’s shoulder. “And hey. You know we love you, Reggie. You’re our best friend. Our brother. Our fourth band mate. And you’re the best bassist in the afterlife. We love you no matter what.“ He promised.

“And we love you, too, Julie. You know I see you as my little sister.“ Julie smiled at Alex and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “I know. And you and Reggie are the best big brothers ever.“ She said happily before pulling away and looked at Luke. “Hey, you’ve been awfully quiet, guitar boy.“ She noticed, taking Reggie’s hand again. “What’s on your mind?“

Luke blinked and shook his head, flashing Julie and Reggie a grin. “Sorry. Just thinking.“ He mumbled, stepping closer to them. “But guys, you know I love you both like crazy. Reg, like Alex said, you’re our best friend. Our brother. Our fourth band mate. And you’re the best bassist in the afterlife. We love you no matter what.” He said seriously. Reggie looked at him and nodded slowly with a smile. “I love you, too.“ He said, pressing their foreheads together.

“And Julie. Jules, you’re you.“ He turned to Julie with a smile, making Reggie laugh into Alex’s shoulder. Julie giggled and blushed, hugging Luke tightly. “What I mean is, Julie, Reggie, you have to know how important you both are to us. Nothing will ever change that. Ever.“ He said, rubbing circles in Julie’s back with a sweet smile. “I said that when Alex came out to us back in the 90′s and now I’m saying it to you two.“

Reggie smiled at hearing the familiar words now directed at him and Julie, wrapping his arms around Alex and Julie tightly. “You guys are my best friends in the world. I love you guys so much.“ He said happily, looking around at his best friends, his band, his family. “We love you, too.“ Julie said and sniffled, wiping a tear. “Oh, no. I’m crying.“

Luke chuckled shakily and blinked, wiping his eyes on his arm. “I think we’ve all been crying for a while.“ He said, unwrapping an arm from Julie and wrapping it around Alex. “God, we’re all so sappy.“ He joked, making everyone laugh. “Hey, our brother coming out is good reason to get sappy and cry a little.“ Alex said with a smile. “I agree. But I think we should get back to rehearsal soon. Big gig next week.“ Reggie said after a minute of quiet hugging and pulled away, walking back to his mic stand.

Everyone nodded and went back to their places with big grins on their faces, happily getting back into rehearsing the song. After another hour, they decided they were done with rehearsal for the day and sat down on the couch, Reggie and Julie in the middle, Alex to the left of Reggie and Luke to the right of Julie. They had started talking about everything and nothing when Luke looked up at Reggie curiously, tilting his head. “Hey, Reg? What was it that made you realize you were bisexual?“ He asked.

Reggie looked up and blushed, glancing up at Luke. “Um, I had some crushes on boys when I was alive. Since I was 12. I was just scared because I heard things people would say, so I just didn’t think about it. And then we all died and met Julie and, um, what made me think about it again was the day you were trying to prove that you had chemistry with everyone you sing with and you-“ He mimed kissing his fingers and pressing them against something. “-and I kind of had a bi panic.“ He said, cringing a little now.

“Wait, I made you spiral into a sexuality crisis?“ Luke asked with a smirk, making Reggie groan. “Luke. You were part of it, but I don’t like you like that. You’re my brother and you’re Julie’s.“ Reggie said, gesturing to Luke’s arm around Julie’s shoulders. “But, um. Yeah. You kinda made me spiral so I went to Julie and we talked and came out to each other two weeks ago and then you now and that’s the story.“ He shrugged, leaning his head on Julie’s shoulder.

“Can we go back to talking about Julie’s bracelet making phase now?“

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #reggie molina #alex molina #luke patterson #jatp fanfic

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snarktheater · 3 years

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Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

#ready player two #ernest cline #st: ready player two #book reviews

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