#you guys can come with me on my organized girl journey

[boxwinebaddie]

hi, friends! just a little uncle nina life update: i have spring break in about two days and while i'd love nothing more than to write endlessly, there are a lot of irl tasks that i neglected or couldn't do bc i was busy, put off bc i was stressed, etc. so those are all going to have to come before me hunkering down and doing big writing.

— which i can't do if my environment is chaotic Anyways

but i digress.

tldr: if i seem quiet, i'm very exhausted, not in a good head space to write rn and i have a million offline things i have to get done. which, hopefully, once all my tasks have been mastered i'll be set up for success. but dw, i'll update yall as i go, do ask memes here and there: i just need to get my life in order before i ~Write Write~

#nina speaks #idk if this makes sense #i have been trying to write this one ask meme all day and i deadass keep falling asleep every 5 secs from exhaustion #like that is how tired i am and idk i have so many chores and things i think im gonna try and get a headstart 2nite #but unfortunately life isnt all *kenny vc* strippers and burritos for me rn my friends #i gotta get a fuck ton of shit done my spring break is going to be productive i hope and i want to renovate my writing space #and dress her up and do all my laundry and not be trying to write beautiful things somewhere ugly #i think its why all my work has been grimey and angry lately #but yeah uncle nina says chores first responsibilities first #then fiesta y siesta #but yeah sorry if my ask memes are taking a long time idk i hate being boring or giving yall nothing but id rather #post nothing than post a bad answer #idk im having a panicked girlie moment again i think but im gonna hopefully get an ask or two out tonight and start tasks #i want to make lists like i need structure again omg i am dying #you guys can come with me on my organized girl journey #also i see all the anons im so sorry i will get to them soon i dont want to answer them under duress #alexa play under pressure

[macfrog]

checkmate cowboy like me chapter nine

hi sorry it’s late please don’t hate me 🥲 would just like to note- reader's pasta is gluten free, alright? i have had too many gluten-induced traumas to write about it anymore. she is a gluten free queen. thanks parts 1-8 on my masterlist here, n my ao3 here. love u all the most!!!

pairing: dbf!joel x fem!reader

summary: joel steals you away during a family meal to give you a telling off...in the form of a quickie

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) pining reader, bratty reader, brat tamer joel, spanking, oral (m receiving), face fucking, dom!joel, orgasm denial, theft of underwear, loose mention of someone cheating, alcohol, age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), cursing, marty robbins

word count: 8.1k

series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist

“Know you can take it, baby, you’ve done it before. That’s my girl.” You whimper in response, mouth full of his cock. “Keep makin’ those pretty noises, whole hotel’s gonna be wonderin’ what’s goin’ on up here.” He allows you a second to pull off of him, gasping for air when your mouth’s free again. “Want ‘em to hear,” you choke out, lips slipping back down his cock.

The water dances to-and-fro, kissing the lip of the pool and splashing onto the concrete at your feet. It’s windier than normal today, trees whispering overhead, breeze taking your hair and lightly tossing it around.

You’re sat out back on a lounger, waiting for Joel to come pick you up. Joel and Sarah, that is. Picking you and your dad up. Be nice if it were just Joel, wouldn’t it? You and him, alone together again. Out on a date, or even just following him around, side by side in his truck as he goes about his day. His hand on your thigh, pretending to roll his eyes at your music choice.

As if that would ever happen. As if that could ever happen.

He and your dad have organized some dinner to celebrate yours and Sarah’s return home; some hotel resort with a restaurant looking out over the river. Your dad couldn’t remember the name of it. Said it was all Joel doing the booking.

You can still fucking hear him. Your dad. His voice lulls through the open kitchen window, the wind carrying it to your ears almost comically. You wish you could bat it away. He’s had the same Marty Robbins song stuck in his head all morning. You’d finally reached breaking point when he’d graduated from just humming it to full-volume singing, even doing his own impression of the guitar.

And now it seems that sneaking out to the backyard hadn’t rid you of the damn song either, no matter how loud the trees may be rustling.

Joel said he’d be here by now – he’s late. You slink off to the back gate to slip out front and wait for him there. And maybe also to escape your dad’s voice. No offense to the guy.

A couple minutes to six, his truck pulls up by the curb you’re perched on. Sarah climbs over the front seat to the back, and you join her.

She scoffs when you slam the door shut. “You’re eager.”

You shake your head in response, warning her with a roll of your eyes not to ask. She gives you an understanding nod and your eyes turn to Joel.

“You’re late.”

He looks back at you in the rearview mirror. “Not my fault. Traffic. We left twenty minutes ago, didn’t we?”

Sarah’s lip curls. She shrugs a little. You know he’s telling the truth.

When you turn back, Joel’s eyes are still on you, expression a little softer. A greeting. Making up for the fact he can’t wrap his arms around you, pinch your nose affectionately, kiss you to say hello. You smile back at him.

“That watch a’ yours runnin’ slow, Miller?”

Your dad’s voice is like a fucking foghorn. Sarah covers her mouth to stop a laugh from escaping her lips. He sweeps down the driveway toward the truck and you lean back in your seat. Quiet moment ruined.

Joel lightly chuckles and then gives you one last hazardous glance in the mirror before pulling off, ignoring your dad’s teasing. Probably for your benefit.

The relief of a quiet journey doesn’t last long, though. Barely five minutes in, your dad picks up the humming again.

“Dude,” you groan, “will you quit that? For the love of God.”

“It’s stuck in my damn head,” he chuckles, arms crossing defensively.

You roll your eyes again. “So your plan is to plague us all with it, too?”

“Pretty much.”

“What’s he singin’?” Sarah asks, leaning forward.

“Marty Robbins. Old song.” The lack of tone in Joel’s voice and the quick shake of his head as he says it tells you he ain’t the biggest Marty Robbins fan either. A voice inside you thanks God, like it even matters what music he’s into.

“Never heard of ‘im.”

“Lucky you,” you breathe, and your dad holds up a finger over his shoulder.

“Heard that,” he says.

“’s why I said it.”

Joel’s shoulders jerk with a laugh. “You’re in a real mood today, aren’t you?”

Your head falls against the window, bumping along with the road as Joel drives.

“Hold up a second,” your dad rounds on him, “you ain’t showin’ your kid real music, are you? She doesn’t even know Marty Robbins.”

“I ain’t puttin’ her through the pain of knowin’ him.”

A smile forms across your lips. Just another thing you two agree on. Another little string connecting you both, separating you from the rest.

You almost snort at yourself. Counting strings.

Sarah interrupts your train of thought when she requests the radio be put on. Joel turns the dial up and she sits back, victorious. You stifle a laugh. But even Taylor Swift doesn’t fully drown out your dad’s voice – she sure doesn’t stop the way he bobs his head as he sings to himself. It’s helpful, all the same.

You and Joel have been quite literally counting down the hours until you’re alone together. Alone for a whole weekend. Each morning, you’ll text him to announce it’s one less day. And he’ll reply some witty comment, some crude joke, or else a thumbs up emoji which usually meant he was working, or had company and couldn’t text. Company meaning eagle-eyed Sarah.

It’s been almost a whole week since the last time you had uninterrupted, unsupervised time with him. When you could link your arms around him, feel his head lean down on top of yours, say things without threat of anyone else hearing.

Seeing him there in the front seat, inches away from you, and not being able to touch him or even talk much to him, feels like a form of torture. Makes you curse your dad ‘n his tone-deaf singing all the more.

You’re supposed to be meeting Sam and Anna and a couple others from work at Frank’s, Saturday night, 8PM sharp. Rodeo night. Your dad’s leaving for Fort Worth in the late afternoon, he said. You’d kinda sulked when he told you, realizing that left a tiny window of time you could see Joel that day.

And then he told you he’d text Joel to ask if he’d be around to pick you up from Frank’s if you needed him, and you chirped up.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’d be really good. Can you ask him to?”

“He said just to text you if you need ‘im, hon.”

“Cool, I will. I mean, I will if I need him. Thanks, Dad.”

If you need him. If. Just on the off-chance, right?

The thought draws a smile across your face. You reckon his presence will be very, very needed this weekend.

Soon enough, the truck pulls in to some ornamented, fountain-guarded resort, bursting with greenery and flowers, paved in pristine sandstone. A red canopy over the entrance, golden letters spelling out Hillcrest.

“Damn…” Sarah leans over into your space to get a glimpse of the building from your window. “This is so fancy.”

“You treatin’ us or somethin’, son?” your dad asks Joel.

He doesn’t reply. But his eyes flit up to meet yours, then back to the road ahead. In a one-second look, you understand.

Sarah’s still staring outside, mouth wide open, blinking eyes taking everything in. “Dad, what the f…”

“Language,” Joel clips.

You smirk. It’s funny, hearing the man who’s whispered far worse things – filthy things – to you in earshot of company, chastise his nineteen-year-old for cursing.

The four of you roll by the water feature – three robed women made of stone pouring water from vases into a pool at their feet – and park up. As you hop out, a woman in a silk dress struts by, floppy sunhat bouncing with each step she takes.

Joel meets you at the back of the truck, letting Sarah and your dad stroll off ahead. They’re busy pointing at different features of the lavish hotel – the purple-uniformed bellboys running in and out of the lobby, the glimmering revolving door, the guests eating on balconies overhead.

“You outta that mood yet?” he asks, and you snap out of your daze.

“Not in a mood,” you reply bluntly, eyes still ahead.

“Huh.” He nods, unconvinced. “Marty Robbins gettin’ to ya that much, is he?”

“Marty Robbins ain’t the problem.”

“No? What is it, then?”

His hand finds the small of your back. It straightens you up like a shot of fire through your spine.

“Not a what. A who.”

You lead him inside.

A man in a pressed white shirt greets you all at the entrance to the restaurant.

“Reservation for Miller,” Joel says, and the man nods curtly and darts off into the sea of tables.

Sarah skips off with your dad on her arm, the two of them fucking ecstatic to be somewhere so fancy and fun. You and Joel amble through, past wine coolers, dodging fleeing waiters, slipping between white-cloth tables and silver spoon diners. His hand never leaves the skin between your shoulder blades, red hot on your goosebumped skin.

You’re seated at a table by the window, overlooking the river. Joel sits opposite you, your dad by his side. Sarah nudges your elbow and holds her phone up, snapping a selfie of you both with the glimmering water in the background. She tags the location and adds text below: fine dining. Her thumbs search for emojis, picking two champagne glasses, some sparkles, and a pink heart. Then she swaps the heart for a smiley face, and tilts the phone to you, wordlessly asking for your approval.

“Cute,” you tell her, and she beams, hittingpost.

The server returns, hands out menus, leaves a jug of ice water and some fancy bottle of wine you’ve never heard of by the table, and then nods his head once again before he rushes off. Your dad salutes him as he goes. You cringe.

“Boy’s gonna take a damn heart attack,” Joel mutters, watching your dad lift the wine from its bucket.

Sarah’s watching, too. She looks from the bottle of wine over to Joel, eyebrows raised. He flatly tells her, “No.”

“Come on,” she protests, “it’s not like anybody here knows what age I am.”

“We know.”

“Dad, I–”

“Water, or nothin’.”

Her eyes dagger into his. “You ain’t exactly a stickler for the rules yourself,” she breathes, sliding the jug across the table, and you scoff.

You’ve seen her do worse on her Instagram stories, and the way she glares at you warns you not to open your mouth. If Joel’s this pressed about some wine with a meal, it’s a damn good thing he doesn’t have a social media account.

“Let’s toast,” your dad announces as he pours wine into three of the glasses, “to…to you girls bein’ back home…” He raises his wine and Sarah lifts her little water, lemon slice floating on top. “…and to a fun summer ahead. Hm?”

You and Joel both hesitate a little before lifting your drinks, clinking them softly against each other with a glint in your eyes.

A fun summer. Sure. You’re certainly having fun. Yeah.

You watch Joel as you take a sip, frowning at the bitter taste. His mouth twists just like yours, neck winces as he swallows. Then he promptly slides his glass along the table back to your dad, clearing his throat and wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

“No?” you ask, amused.

“Not my thing.”

You tilt your head. “Maybe they have Bud at the bar.”

“You’re hilarious, you know that?”

You flash a proud grin at him. The denim of his jeans brushes against your ankles. Your dad takes Sarah up in conversation. No one would see if you just…

Under the long white tablecloth, you nudge open his calves and slot your feet between them. Joel’s boots close at the back of your legs, holding you to him. Holding you against him.

It feels…nice. It’s almost normal. Like something a real couple would do. Not a pair of hopeful idiots wrapped up too tight in some clandestine affair. You almost feel like you could reach for his hand, and you’re willing to bet that if it weren’t for your company, he’d let you take it. Let you part his fingers with yours. Let you run a light touch over his knuckles.

When you finally look up at Joel, he’s looking right back. Watching you. Reading your mind.

You avert your gaze, reaching to pour a glass of water.

A few quiet minutes pass while the table studies the menu. You’re still looking around, taking in your surroundings. The more you look, the more you notice. Velvet drapes framing tall Palladian windows. A man nervously checking his blazer pocket while his girlfriend’s at the bathroom. Joel’s legs give yours a wiggle and you’re drawn away from the pocket square and slicked-back hair.

He smiles affectionately. Asks in his eyes if you’re okay. Your shoulders meet your jaw with the inhale you take, and then you nod. Imperceptible. Some dumb smile across your lips that mirrors his. Like you really are on your own or something. It’s stupid.

“Reckon I’ll have the steak,” your dad says.

Joel hums in agreement, nodding.

Sarah orders a Caesar salad and you decide on the fettuccine Alfredo. The nodding waiter snaps his little black book shut and collects your menus, before disappearing again. Conversation flows across the table naturally: your dad’s big client, Joel’s working week, Sarah’s sophomore year. Of course, the Rangers are mentioned once or twice.

Your wrist is shaking your glass, watching as the water swirls around inside. The thought turns over much the same in your head. A question for Joel. When your food arrives and the chatter lulls, you brave up enough to ask it.

“You think I’m…brighter…here?”

He smiles, a little confused. “Brighter?”

“Aw, kiddo.” Your dad shakes his head, knife tearing into his steak. “I knew you’d take that to heart.”

Joel’s still looking at you. Concerned.

Sarah elbows you. “What’s that mean?”

Your dad sighs. “Bill told ‘er on Sunday she used to be miserable whenever she came home. Said that this time ‘round she looks…”

“…brighter.” You lift your hands to form air quotes around the word, pasta wrapped around the fork between your fingers.

Joel’s expression relaxes, his smile grows. “’cause of anything in particular, or…?”

You instantly regret bringing it up. He’s a dick. Has to ruin every sweet moment with a smug smirk and testosterone-induced impulses, doesn’t he?

You mock smile back and shake your head.

“Y’know what I think it is?” your dad says, and Joel finally turns to him. He nods at you and Sarah. “The pair of ‘em. Back home like old times. How long has it been since the four of us were out doin’ stuff together?”

You and Sarah exchange a sideways glance.

“I’m serious!” he says, waving his hands. Cutlery almost flying out of his grip. “It’s nice. Joel, back me up.”

Joel’s sat back in his chair, midway through cutting his steak, watching this show unfold. He clears his throat and offers, “Yeah. Real nice.”

Your dad looks defeated. He retires from the conversation, focusing on the meal in front of him.

“What are you guys gonna do all weekend without us?” Sarah asks, shoving a forkful of salad in her mouth.

“I, uh…keep forgetting y’all are goin’ away,” you lie, staring down at your pasta.

Joel clears his throat again. “This guy at work was showin’ me these videos of folks playin’ chess – did you know there are these…leagues, for chess? Professional leagues ‘n competitions. They win money, good money, for playin’ chess.”

Sarah, like everybody at the table, is quiet for a few seconds. “Is…is this your way of sayin’ y’all are gonna…play chess?”

You’re staring at Joel, amused and yet a tad embarrassed. The dude you’re sleeping with just went on a ramble about chess.

You twirl your fork in your hand before taking another bite. “I’ve never played chess. Maybe you’ll have to play it alone.”

Joel narrows his eyes. “Don’t think you can,” he says, gritting his teeth, “it’s a two-player game.”

“Nah,” Sarah chimes in. “A guy in my Physiology class plays against himself to practice. He’s pretty good, I think.”

Your head nods toward her, eyebrows raised at Joel. He’s grimacing back.

“He always goes on about speed, says it’s all about playin’ fast so your opponent ain’t got time to think. Quick hands, he says.”

Your brows arch, lips petted. Poor Joel. “Aw. Looks like you’ll be playin’ with yourself.”

His brows angle and you notice a twisted smile on his lips. Pissed – sort of aroused, but pissed. You lift your legs from between his. He holds onto your ankles with his own for a second, forcing you to stare at him, before he frees you. You tuck your legs under your chair.

Just then, Sarah’s phone vibrates on the wooden table.

“Oh, shoot, two seconds. Hello?” She screws her face up. “Are you kidding me? No way. No, I don’t– You– Kels, can I call you back in, like, an hour or something? I’ll call you back, I’m just at dinner with my dad and my…No, I’ll literally be, like– Alright. Lemme call you back. Okay.”

She hangs up and swivels in her seat to you.

“You know Kels? Kelly Ramirez?”

You draw a blank. Push your bottom lip out. “Should I know a Kelly Ramirez?”

“She played soccer with me in high school? Remember, that game you came to,” Sarah leans in, knocking your arm with the back of her hand as if giving your memory a swift kick, “she played in goal to fill in for Stephanie, and broke her ankle tryna save Amber Murphy’s shot? Passed out from the pain?”

Nothing. You shake your head.

She huffs. “Coach Lee had to drive her to the emergency room and it’s all she went on about for weeks.”

“Oh!” The penny drops. “That was her? Didn’t she carve his initials into the girls’ room stalls?”

Your dad and Joel exchange a bewildered and, quite frankly, weary glance. Sarah shuts her eyes and nods, ashamed.

“That’s her.”

“Wow. I wonder if he knew how bad her crush was…” you muse, choking back a laugh when Sarah gives you a dead-eyed stare.

“He would have,” Joel says flatly, and you both shoot him a look. “Girls ain’t good at hidin’ that sorta stuff.”

“Oh, like you’ve ever had anyone have a crush on you.” Sarah bats her hand at him and then her fingers lock around your wrist. “Anyway…”

You can see Joel’s grin from your peripheral. He gives your sneaker a tap with his boot under the table, and you feel your cheeks start to heat. You move your leg.

“…she’s just caught her boyfriend cheatin’.”

“Who has?”

Sarah huffs. “Kelly Ramirez! For cryin’ out loud, are– are you even listenin’ to me?”

“I was caught up in the Coach Lee stuff. Right. No, I’m with you now. Is she okay?”

“She suspected it for weeks. He kept cancelling plans last minute, kept coming up with dumb excuses. We were all tryna tell her, just ask ‘im. Ask him or find out for yourself. So, she did. Checked his phone and found all these messages between him ‘n some girl from college.”

“How’d she hack into his phone?” your dad asks.

Joel, head now resting against his fingers, draws him a look: Really?

“She didn’t,” Sarah tells him. “She knows his passcode. Used it to get in, I guess.”

Your dad nods, taking note, eyes narrowing. He looks over to Joel, then you. These kids and their technology, you imagine him thinking. But he’s staring a fraction too long. You shift in your seat. Give him a comical shrug – Don’t ask me – and he eventually looks away.

The rest of dinner passes smoothly – Sarah picking up her phone, rattling a message into it with her thumbs, and then dropping it back down onto the table. Your dad, battling his steak, asking Joel what he thinks of the Rangers’ chances against the Astros tonight, and Joel…well, Joel not taking his attention off of you for one second.

He’s answering your dad, saying all the right things at the right times, but anytime his eyes lift off of his plate, they land on you. Your arm, draped on the tablecloth. Your hand, moving pasta around your dish with your fork. Your eyes, flitting between the view outside to that inside.

You can see him the entire time. Watching you. You’re not fucking blind. If Sarah didn’t have Kelly Ramirez spamming her phone with cheating boyfriend updates, she’d probably be commenting on it. Did she grow a second head, or somethin’? she’d quip.

But you never look back. Not once. Just let him observe you, let him wait for a glance or a kick of the foot that never comes.

You’re leant back in your chair, arms crossed over your chest, when the waiter clears your table. Watching some couple wander off down the riverside path. She’s wearing a white sundress that dances around her calves with each slow step she takes. He’s in a plain black tee, tan arm around her back. Looking around at the view, taking it all in.

Then she turns on her heel to him. He lifts a hand to move her long, dark braids from her face, drops it to cup her jaw. Pulls her in to him, presses his lips to hers. Her hands are linked at his spine. Like they’re the only two people in the world.

There’s a feeling in the depths of your chest. A throb. Uncomfortable. Maybe even painful. You shift in your seat to move it, but it doesn’t budge. Your gaze falls, travelling along the window frame, onto the white cloth and to Joel’s elbow. Up his arm, across his shoulder.

You reach his jaw and look away. He’s watching everything.

“Alright,” your dad’s hands slap down on his thighs, “we good to go?”

“You go on,” Joel tells him. “I’ll get the bill.”

“Absolutely not, bud,” your dad protests. You and Sarah both lean back in your chairs at the same time. May as well get comfortable, we could be here a while.

“I got it,” Joel says, almost annoyed, getting up to stand. Your dad follows suit. Joel holds a hand out. “I’m sure you’ll repay me somehow. Hey, I got that job in a couple weeks I said I might need you for. Help me out and we’re even.”

Your dad’s hands are on his hips. “I ain’t happy about this, Joel.”

“Stick,” Joel mutters. “I’m sure I’ve done worse that you’ve forgiven me for.”

His eyes finally find yours and your cheeks flush. He covers it by gesturing to you to stand up with a snap of his head.

Why was that hot? Is it…weird…? That that was hot? All he did was nod his head.

You stand – Sarah copies you, sliding her chair under the table. Joel pushes yours in for you. His hand’s on your back again, fingers drawing circles. The four of you are walking toward the exit. Your dad’s still murmuring about owing money.

“Hey,” Sarah calls, pointing, “this place has an outdoor bar. Let’s go check it out.”

Your head’s beginning to dizzy. Why is your head dizzying?

Stick.

The way he pointed, flicked his head toward the door. Knowing you’d just fucking obey him. And you did.

Yep. That was hot. Hot enough that it restarts something in you; something deep down begins to wind. An idea sweeps across your mind.

Sunlight bursts through the French doors up ahead, golden rays flooding in through the glass panes. Joel stoops his head as he wanders through, dodging ivy draped around the doorway. On the other side, drowned in daylight, a paved courtyard.

There are tables and chairs dotted around. Benches in front of flowerbeds. More random statues – a cherub, a rearing horse. Wooden planters with vines growing toward the sky. Another slightly smaller fountain in the middle.

This…is fucking insane. Last night for dinner you ate leftover Chinese food ‘cause your dad was working late. Tonight, you’re strolling through a five-star hotel garden after the best fettucine of your life.

Ahead of you and Joel, your dad nudges Sarah and comically offers her his arm, elbow outstretched. She nods graciously and links her arm in his, and they saunter off, chins up, dumb grins across their faces.

Joel scoffs. Your lips tug a little, chest still tight. Body still tense. And he senses it.

“What?”

You shake your head. “Nothin’. Just…taking in the view.”

“’s nice, ain’t it?”

“Mhm,” you admit. “Word on the street is it was all your idea.”

“Wanted somewhere nice for you. For both of you. Didn’t know it would be this nice, but…it’s what you deserve.”

Your eyelashes flutter, blinking rapidly to conceal the look in your eye. The look that says…something dangerous. You betray the thoughts circling around your head and press your lips together in a tight smile. “Thanks,” is all you can muster the strength to say.

Joel looks forward; your dad and Sarah are strides ahead, still gawking at the garden, chatting, snapping photos.

“It improve your mood any?”

“I already told you, I ain’t in a mood.”

“That why you couldn’t look at me at dinner?”

It stops you in your tracks. You glare at him. Almost about to punch him out of frustration, right before you catch yourself and your expression softens.

“Did you want me to look at you?” you coo, leaning in a little. Your hands rest on his forearms.

Joel tenses. Opens his mouth to say something, then thinks better of it. But you want him to fucking say it. So, you push further.

“What we were doin’ under the table wasn’t enough? Poor baby. Guess you just wanted more of my attention, huh?”

His expression doesn’t change. Lips barely move when he utters, “Thin ice, kid.”

You shrug. “I’m not the one begging you to look at me.”

He swallows. His eyes are staring you down, huge, glowing warm in the evening sunlight. There’s so much energy thrumming around your body that you feel almost faint, like your knees could give. Just swoon, fall into his arms.

“I’m bored,” you back up, turning back to the hotel, “going to the bathroom.”

You’re gone before he can react. Taking off for the doors, stumbling out of the sun and into the cool restaurant, catching your breath when you’re safely in the shade.

You approach the bar – a deep, shiny mahogany, wine glasses hanging from above, glistening footrail at the bottom. Intricately carved, varnished and smooth. Bottles of spirits and ales and wines decorate the back wall, lined up on shelves against a glimmering mirror.

Two girls in black polo shirts stand, elbows leaning against the back shelf.

“I served a duck the other night,” one of them says to the other. She has short brown hair, freckles painted across her nose. A tattoo down her right arm. She twirls a pen between her fingers as she speaks.

“A duck?” The second girl screws her face up.

“Yep. When I gave him the check, he told me to put it on his bill.”

The second girl snorts. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Hey, excuse me?” you call over, and the girl with the tattoo steps forward, still laughing. “Where are the restrooms?”

“Upstairs,” she nods to the doors by your side, “they’re on the right.”

You nod in thanks and she twirls the pen again, resuming position.

The bathroom is freezing cold when you burst into it, almost panting, and stumble across to the sink. Your palms plant firmly on the marble countertop, head falling limp between your shoulders. When you look up to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, a laugh passes your lips.

You look…flustered. Bothered. You’re not sure if Joel noticed it. You were too busy trying to conceal it to gauge whether he’d caught on.

What the fuck is he doing to you? More importantly, how is he doing it to you? Can you seriously not go a couple days without him? Need, want, desire. Everything he causes, only he can fix.

But then, he never can fucking fix it. There’s always something or someone in the way. And you swear Joel gets off on it – watching you need him, miss him, pine for him, and knowing he won’t be able to relieve it.

Staring at yourself, you start to feel that energy charging up again. Heat pooling between your legs, blood drumming through your veins. What the fuck is he doing to me? Nothing, he’s not doin’ nothing.

Nothing I can’t do right back to him.

You push yourself off of the sink and shoot one last glance in the mirror, giving your reflection an affirming nod before striding over to the door. It swings shut behind you as you pace down the hall, feeling a lot more steel and a lot less sweet.

As you round the corner to head downstairs, a familiar shadow stalks up the last two steps and bursts into the hallway. Without a word, his arm hooks around yours and he drags you back the way you came.

“Joel– What the fuck are you doin’–?”

He passes by the restrooms and onto a plush red carpet. In a blur, he flings open the first door in sight and throws you inside, ignoring your gasps.

He slams the door shut, whipping you around to shove you against it. From over his shoulder, you notice your surroundings. A bed over by the window, pristine white sheets tucked perfectly under the mattress. Nightstands spotless, desk against the wall topped with a tray holding a bottle of wine and a tiny card that reads Welcome to the Hillcrest.

You’re in one of the hotel’s rooms. One of the hotel’s empty rooms.

Of course it’s empty. It’s like he fucking planned it.

“Alright. A hotel room. Did you book it, at least?”

“Naw,” his eyes scan you up and down, “I didn’t fuckin’ book it.”

“So…what are we doing in here?”

Joel’s pressing against you, forcing you up against the wooden door. Caging you against it with the weight of his body. Clearly, in the time you spent giving yourself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror, Joel was doing the exact same downstairs. The fucker.

“Said you were bored. ‘n that’s a real shame, given I just took you to dinner. Ain’t no pleasin’ you, is there?”

Your head rolls back against the door with a laugh. “That really got to you? So, what, now you’re gonna fuck me? Wine, dine, ‘n…yeah?”

Joel’s lips are tight, eyes staring you down. He’s seething. He’s turned on, and he’s seething. Exactly where you want him.

“You get sluttier every fuckin’ day, you know that?”

You nod, teeth taking your bottom lip. “You like it, though, huh?”

Joel doesn’t reply. You lean in closer to him.

“You like me bein’ a little slut,” you whisper, running a hand softly over his hard jeans, “just for you, don’t you?”

His voice lowers in response. “Not when I can’t do nothin’ about it.”

You pull back, cocking an eyebrow. Angle your head. “You’re the one who pulled me in here. It’s an empty hotel room, man. Do whatever the fuck you want.”

He glowers at you. His face rigid, one hand still locked around yours, almost assisting you in palming himself; the other above your head, flat against the door.

His head dips. Jaw lines with yours, breath against your ear.

“Whatever the fuck I want?”

“Mhm.” You nod, maybe a little too eagerly. Not that either of you care. Then you pause. “Oh! Wait.”

Joel lifts his head, narrowing his eyes. Looks like you just cut in front of some spiel he had planned.

Your cheeks swell. “Do you have a bottle?”

“A bottle?”

“Beer bottle. You need me to go grab one? What if they don’t have beer? It’s kind of a fancy place. Would wine work? Or is it only beer that gets you goin’–”

“Alright. Enough. Fuckin’ – brat.”

You cock your head, tongue in your cheek, pushing around the shape of your mouth. Keep going.

You spurt out a laugh. “I’m a brat?”

“Yep. Never do as you’re fuckin’ told.”

You lean in close, lips brushing off of his, so close you can taste him. Feel how tense his jaw is. Your voice is low, barely above a whisper.

“Then…make me.”

Joel’s still staring you down, watching you like a predator watches its prey. His eyes are so dark you can’t read the thoughts behind them, but the way his grip tightens on your wrist, so rough it feels like he’s fucking bruising you, the way he yanks you off of the door, tells you exactly what he’s thinking.

“I ain’t got time for this,” he hisses, pulling you over to the bed.

You stagger behind him, still snickering. Joel sinks down into the mattress, thighs apart, pulling you to stand between them. You look him up and down once, smirking, his hands still roughly gripping yours. Then –

In one fluid movement, you’re over his knee. Thighs digging into your stomach, face hovering over the soft carpet. Your hands grip his calf to hold onto something – anything – as he pulls the hem of your dress up so roughly, you’re sure he’s ripped it.

“You want to act like a brat?” he asks, and you smile, feeling his hand run from the back of your knee up your thigh, coming to rest on your ass. “Get treated like one.”

The first time his huge palm slaps against your skin, your mind blanks. The sharp sting, Joel’s grunt as his hand comes down on you. The way your body jerks, and the whine you let slip as it does. The throb when he lifts his hand, the cold air hissing against your heated skin.

He’s fucking – he’s…He has you in an empty hotel room, door unlocked, entire lobby of people downstairs. Over his knee, skirt hiked to your waist, spanking you. Hard.

And then you realize. You fucking like this.

“Joel…” you moan, catching your breath when it comes back.

Another sharp sting.

“Yeah, baby? You want me to stop? You gonna stop bein’ a little brat?”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, filthy grin on your lips.

“F-fuck no.”

He slaps you again. You whimper, wrapping your arms around his leg.

“Didn’t fuckin’ think so. Can feel how wet you are for me.”

He curls a finger around the hem of your panties and drags them down your thighs, letting them drop off of your legs and to the floor while his fingers return between your legs, running up and down your slit. You whine.

“Such a pretty little mouth, huh? You were runnin’ it just a second ago. Where’d all your big talk go?”

You open your mouth to reply, barely even make a sound, and his palm smacks against your ass again. He’s not done.

“Always got somethin’ to say, don’t you?” he grunts, hand coming down on you again. “You remember that day I ran you home?”

You whimper in response – yeah, I remember.

“You ‘n me alone, you being a little fucking tease. Wanted to fuck you so badly, baby. Those tight little shorts you were in…fuck…”

“Why…didn’t…you…?” you whine, muffled into the denim of his jeans. “Would’ve…fuck…let you.”

“Yeah? You wanted me to, darlin’?”

“Wanted…you,” slap, “in the kitchen.”

You gasp when Joel’s grip becomes tighter around your waist, holding you still as his hand sears against your ass. Rougher. Harder. It turns you on more.

“Wanted you in my mouth.”

You swear his breath catches. Swear you can feel his hand hovering over you, almost ready to spank you again, but he pauses.

“That right, baby? In your mouth?”

You nod, unsure if he can even see you. And then you feel him bend, feel his fist in your hair, lifting your head until his lips are curled around the shell of your ear.

“You wanna show me what you woulda done?” he whispers, breath hot.

Your body’s still shaking, throbbing; you’re a sobbing mess, but still, you utter: “Yeah.”

Joel pulls you all the way off his lap then, widening his legs for you to sit between them.

“Gotta be quick, babygirl,” he tells you, pushing you by the shoulders down onto the carpet.

Your knees part to lower yourself closer to his crotch, fingers shakily fumbling with his zipper. Joel helps you, shifting his jeans until his cock springs free. He’s as hard as if you’d been playing with him this entire time, so hard you almost begin to drool at the sight of him.

He sighs shakily, hand leaning behind on the mattress to steady himself. “You’re gonna sit there like a good girl and make me cum, alright?”

You nod, eyes blown black with lust.

He grips the back of your head with one hand and guides his cock to your mouth with the other. You take his thick length in both hands, allowing a trail of spit to fall from your lips and cover his swollen tip, running down his shaft only to be collected and dragged back up by your fingers.

“Good girl,” Joel whispers, watching you. “Doin’ what I tell you, huh?”

A few strokes and his cock’s soaked. When his head lines up with your bottom lip and you open up wide, he pushes into your mouth, filling you up without stopping to let you catch your breath. You gag when he hits the back of your throat, and Joel groans.

“Know you can take it, baby, you’ve done it before. That’s my girl.”

You whimper in response, mouth full of his cock.

“Keep makin’ those pretty noises, whole hotel’s gonna be wonderin’ what’s goin’ on up here.”

He allows you a second to pull off of him, gasping for air when your mouth’s free again.

“Want ‘em to hear,” you choke out, lips slipping back down his cock.

“Yeah?” he bucks his hips up into your mouth. “You want ‘em to know? Why don’t I just take you downstairs right now, fuck you in front of everybody, huh? You like that?”

You whine, gasp something that sounds like a yes around his warm skin.

“Thought you would, fuckin’ dirty girl. Want everyone to see just how good you take me, hm? How fuckin’ wet you get for me?”

Your fingers reach for his balls, kneading them softly in your hands. Joel’s head tips back and he lets out a guttural groan.

“Look at you,” he purrs, “soakin’ wet all over the floor, lettin’ me fuck that pretty little mouth. Needed it bad, didn’t you?”

You follow the words he’s saying with your eyes, never taking your doe-eyed gaze off of him. He’s all you can see; the surrounding world blurred by lust and sex and by Joel.

“Been thinkin’ about this all fuckin’ day,” he mutters.

You pull yourself off of him, disobeying his tight grip at the back of your head.

“Yeah?” you breathe, giving in to him. “Been thinkin’ about you, too.”

Joel almost looks surprised, like he wasn’t expecting that to come out of your mouth. He’s never expecting any of what you say to come out of your mouth, is he?

Hell, you don’t expect half of what comes out of your fucking mouth these days.

You sink back down on him, eyes screwing shut with the feeling of him filling you up to the very bottom of your throat.

“So slutty, baby. You like that? Yeah?”

He’s speaking so soft but being so fucking rough, pushing you down onto his dick and then hauling you back off with a fistful of hair. His hips snap against your mouth and your hands leave his body to balance yourself on his thighs, stabilizing yourself with fingers through his loose belt loops.

You’re gagging on him, choking every time his salty head brushes against your throat, but Joel doesn’t stop. Each whimper, each muffled cry from you only pushes him closer, sends his head back in a wave of euphoria at the sight of you taking his cock in your mouth so good, the sounds of you choking on the size of him.

Your chin is soaked, dripping with spit and precum. Your cheeks dappled with tears. He doesn’t let up. You don’t fucking want him to. Your knees are slipping further apart, your cunt wetter than ever, dripping all over the plush carpet of the classiest hotel you’ve ever been in.

It’s fucking filthy, and you love every second of it.

Your lids grow heavy and you stare up at him, doused in rays from the window behind, blissed out on his body, him blissed out on yours, and you know he’s about to cum. His brows arch, his jaw falls slack. He’s focusing only on the feeling of your swollen lips around him, your throat contracting with each thrust of his hips.

He jerks, grunts out a, “Throat?”

“Uhuh,” you choke back, hands clamping around his thighs when he leans back.

One more jolt and he releases rope after rope of warm cum down you, painting the back of your throat and filling up your mouth. That all-too-familiar taste of Joel trickles all over your tongue.

He’s whispering, “Fuck, fuck, darlin’, fuck…” over and over, chanting your name, breathing curses and praises between.

When he stills and you feel him relax, your hands fall limp on your lap. You don’t move, not until Joel’s eyes flutter open and he slides his soft cock out of your mouth.

Your head rolls onto his thigh, eyes wide and soft as you gaze up at him. Equal parts enamored and painfully aroused.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he tells you. “Brats don’t get to fucking cum.”

There are words coming to your mind that you wouldn’t dare call him when he’s in this mood. Words you wouldn’t call him any other time, either, if it weren’t for the agonizing ache between your legs. This – fucking – guy.

You want to sob. Want to wrap yourself around his legs as he stands and beg him to throw you down on the bed, part your legs, use whatever the fuck he wants just to let you cum. Just to give you some release.

It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. Dumb for this man.

He sits forward and tucks his limp cock back into his boxers, redoes his jeans. Then he leans down, scoops up your soaked panties and scrunches them in his fist. He slips them into his jeans pocket and, with a heaving sigh, pushes himself up from the bed.

You’re still squatted, knees apart, on the carpet. Arousal probably streaming out of you. Joel only lowers his hand and you take it, letting him pull you up to height. You still don’t believe he’s gonna let you walk out of here undealt with.

Until he wanders off toward the door, and there’s nothing left for you to do but follow.

Each step hurts, your thighs grazing against each other. Your naked cunt throbbing with every tiny movement.

Joel pauses at the door, turns the handle slowly, quietly, opening it just enough to poke his head and shoulders out, before beckoning you forward with a wave of his hand.

He blindly takes your wrist and leads you out of the room in a daze, letting the door close over as you both head back the way you came toward the staircase.

Under spotless chandeliers, past romantic paintings. Along the same plush carpet he’d shoved you along less than twenty minutes ago. Down the stairs, emerging at the bar, pair of you scanning the restaurant for your dad and Sarah. No sign of them.

“C’mon,” he nudges you, “still gotta get that bill.”

You stand by Joel’s side at the bar, catching a glimpse of the pair of you in the mirror opposite. Elbows touching, palms inches apart on the polished surface. Your heart swells to the point of almost hurting at the sight. The cover is back up, you’re back on planet earth; you’re nothing but a pair of acquaintances, friends at best.

Just a guy and his best bud’s daughter.

Joel’s tapping his credit card against the wood.

“What’s up?” you ask him.

“Hm?” he replies, eyes finding you, head still facing forward. Almost bracing for your dad’s appearance at any given moment.

“You’re being weird.”

“Ain’t being weird.”

“Still not gonna let me cum?”

He’s almost startled. You asked it quiet enough that nobody would’ve heard, if there were even anybody around you, but still. It feels like dangerous territory talking about it this out in the open.

“Nope,” he replies, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“You know I’m gonna do it myself the second I get home, right?”

He shrugs. “You gonna call me?”

“Facetime you, if you want.”

His body goes rock solid. You knock into it, smirking. Before he can muster up a reply, the girl with the tattoo shows back up, smiling at Joel. He tells her the table number and she slides him the bill.

“How much is it?” you ask him.

He turns to look at you. “You won’t be findin’ out.”

You mock offense. A small part of you isn’t kidding. “’n why’s that?”

Joel ignores you. You twist over his arm to get a look and he bats you away, holding you at bay with his elbow while he places his card over the total amount and slides it back across the bar.

You admit defeat, though it kills you a little inside.

Joel does his little head nod again and you follow him to the exit. You walk out of the restaurant together, your chin as high as your shame will allow it, Joel’s parallel to his chest. Your dad’s stood against the truck deep in conversation with Sarah. Or, rather, Sarah’s deep in conversation at your dad.

“…so, she thought he was just textin’ his boys, but here she goes onto his Instagram messages, and it’s all these hearts, all these messages sayin’…”

“Where did you two get to?”

Joel opens the door for you silently, and you breathe a slightly awkward Thanks before climbing in.

Once he’s back in the front seat alongside your dad, he replies. “Charged me twice. Problem with the card reader.”

“I hope they apologized,” your dad says with a concerned tone. “Hope they ain’t tryin’ anythin’.”

“Nah,” Joel bats it away – unconvincingly. Or is that just because you know he just…you know.

Sarah’s still yapping – Kelly’s heartbroken, doesn’t know how she’s gonna go on. She – Sarah – is furious with Kelly’s boyfriend – ex-boyfriend? – his name is…Mike? Mick? Something beginning with M…Your ears are screaming.

“Happened to me once at a gas station. Charged twice for one tank a’ gas. I went back the next day ‘n asked the girl, she said she didn’t remember me. I showed her the bank statement, said, Why the hell would I need two tanks of gas for one vehicle? She had to call her manager. It was…insanity, Joel. You be careful.”

Joel’s pretending to listen, murmuring Right and Uhuh when appropriate, but he aims every second glance at you from the rearview mirror. You tug your skirt as far down your thighs as it’ll go, feeling exposed and guilty and ashamed and yet so fucking good all in one.

You can still taste him on your tongue. Your throat feels raw, your jaw sore. He knows it, from the looks he’s giving you in the mirror. It’s satisfaction, mixed with longing, mixed with guilt. Your underwear is in his front pocket. Your thighs clamp shut, feeling yourself seeping all over his backseat. One big, chaotic mess.

The car falls into silence, Sarah’s thumbs typing rapidly, Joel’s elbow propped against the window, cheek leaning on his knuckles. You lean your own head against the window, the engine drumming into your skull, the cold of the glass relieving your scorching skin. Your dad starts quietly singing again, and you wish you had the energy to put on a convincing voice to tell him to shut up.

“Maybe tomorrow a bullet may find me, tonight, nothing’s worse than this pain in my heart.”

----------

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#joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #tlou #tlou fic #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller fluff #cowboy like me

[liesmyth]

the locked tomb holiday exchange rec list

Behold! The good, the magnificent, the sad! The filth and the angst and the feelings! The weird shit that would make TazMuir proud! 💀🎉✨☠️🔥🎊

Here are some favourites from a skim of works posted for @tlt-holiday-exchange, both art and fic. They are MANY and they are JUICY. Find the entire collection HERE, and keep an eye on for authors reveal coming soon!

ART FILLS

A Beautiful Fairy Tale. Wake tells little Bomb a bedtime story but she can't mention a princess without talking about guillotines. Rated T.

Dubious Curiosity. Nona is curious. Nona loves everyone. And Nona wants Cam. (Camilla/Nona) Rated M.

Fingers In Her Mouth. Camilla Hect misses the Warden. Maybe he can lend a helping hand… even in death. (Camilla/hand!Palamedes) Rated M.

just guys being bros. Camilla/Gideon. Gideon touches a boob! A very happy new year to awkward butch lesbians everywhere. Rated T.

Pyrrha Dve Appreciation. Pyrrha & Nona, soft hugs! Rated G.

Stealing Breath. Camilla/Gideon butch-off make-out session. Rated G.

To Shreds, You Say? Pyrrha/Mercymorn/Wake fucking nasty. Rated E.

FIC FILLS

a buried and a burning flame. Coronabeth fucks Gideon's corpse. Rated E.

For all intents and purposes the corpse of the Ninth’s cavalier is a bad lay. That’s all fine, though.

a grave, deep and narrow. Camilla/Palamedes, GtN AU, Character Death, Tape Recorder Conversation Redux. Podfic included! Rated T

Only Lyctors were meant to leave the First House alive. Ianthe insists on bringing Coronabeth; Judith dies of her injuries. Camilla is stranded alone at Canaan House — alone, except for the persistent hallucinations of her necromancer.

affix. Coronabeth/Harrow, humiliation kink, improper use of bones, dom!Harrow, GtN era. rated E.

Cytherea doesn't go to Canaan House AU - Corona overconfidently approaches Harrow in the hopes of exchanging lab keys. Harrow humbles her quickly.

AITA for telling my dad I didn't like my birthday party? Gideon & John, In-Universe Social Media, Character study, Rated T.

I (20F) told my dad (45?M) that I wanted a cool birthday party, but he threw me a terrible birthday party instead. Am I really the asshole for telling him I didn't like it?

and kings shall come out of thy loins. Gideon/Ianthe, crack treated seriously, body horor, SNAKES. Rated M.

Ianthe saves God from the stoma and the River and all she has to show for it are these fucking snubes.

come, dearest heart. Lyctor Palamedes AU, HtN era. Camilla/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Camilla/Palamedes. Rated E.

In Canaan House, Palamedes Sextus unwillingly ascends to Lyctorhood to put an end to Cytherea the First's rampage. He's left heartbroken, grieving, and terribly, terribly lonely.

Don't Care If You Think I'm Dumb (I Don't Care At All). Gideon/Ianthe, Gideon as Kiriona, Unwholesome Tower Princes Bonding ft. bad sex and retail therapy. Rated E.

The newly christened Kiriona Gaia is not having a good time on the Mithraeum. At least she has Ianthe there to make her worse.

Follow Your Dreams, Never Let Them Die. Gideon/Harrow, Pokemon trainers AU! Rated T.

On her Pokemon Journey, Gideon Nav approaches the mysterious Drearburh City Gym - but something feels oddly familiar.

Gaia's Natural Market. modern AU, retail hell, Harrow/Gideon, Harrow/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe. Rated T

RING-A-DING-DING, the Holiday's are here! And nothing says "Give!" like the bounty of the Mother Herself, so come on by to GAIA's Natural Market! Treat your family to a home-cooked meal with only the PUREST of ingredients - all Produce Organic, all Products non-GMO, and all Smiles Authentic and free of Toxins!

Good Girl. Coronabeth/Ianthe, puppyplay, muzzles, rated E.

Coronabeth is Ianthe's big dicked bimbo puppy. Ianthe's into it.

Goodnight, New Rho. Camilla & Nona. Domestic Fluff, Missing Scene. Rated G.

Nona gets a bedtime story. Camilla reminisces about growing up with an older sister. They both sleep well, despite a notable lack of dogs.

In the Empire of the Deeps. Gideon/Nona/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe, Pirate AU, monsterfucking-adjacent, Nona is an eldritch sea creature. Rated E.

A chance encounter on the beach. Ianthe is manipulative, Kiriona is sad, and Nona is not as innocent as she seems. Sometimes, you might yearn for one person and meet another one. Sometimes, you have to take what you can get.

just like normal. Ianthe/Coronabeth, Cytherea is also there. Penis in vagina sex, Exhibitionism, Squirting. Rated E.

Ianthe gives herself a cock, and Corona is increasingly bewildered that she hasn’t been allowed to sit on it yet.

language of its own. Camilla/Palamedes. Worldbuilding, idiots to lovers, pre-canon. Rated T.

Camilla Hect has to do an erotic poetry final.

Masochism Tango. Porn with feelings, knifeplay, vivisection, lyctor-typical everything. Rated E.

Two occasions in which Pyrrha Dve had the pleasure of being under Cytherea's knife, and Mercymorn had the pleasure of Pyrrha Dve.

METHODS OF SUBDUCTION. Judith/Cornabeth, Judith & Varun. Planetary science rizz. Rated M.

Varun the Eater teaches Judith Deuteros how to flirt.

midnight mass. Mercymorn/Cristabel, pre-canon, Character Study. Rated T.

A lifetime before the resurrection and two decades before the apocalypse, a novice nun and a third-year medical student discuss goodness, passion, and salvation at midnight on Christmas morning.

motherhood. Mercymorn uses flesh magic on Wake. Hate sex ensues. Body horror, motherhood as violence, canon compliant. Rated E.

“I will kill you,” you say, with all the placid fervor of a religious convert. When you’re on the edge of real violence, you lose that tense little furrow in your brow—it’s beautiful, really. “Please give me a reason.”

My Love Overflows. Corona/Ianthe, Strap-on, Dirty talk, Impact Play, Hair Pulling, Bladder control. Rated E.

The one in which Corona pisses all over herself at Ianthe's whims.

name and rank. Judith/Coronabeth, Judith & Varun. Judith's failwoman swag! Rated T.

As Judith lies dying, she has nothing but time. Varun the Eater uses it to teach her how to flirt with the Princess. Don’t worry. Varun has got this!

New Rule. Mercymorn/Pyrrha, Ranch AU, stablehand Pyrrha, boss/employee relationship. Rated E.

Never hire stablehands who are too handsome and capable for their own good.

no shade in the shadow of the cross. Cytherea/Mercymorn, angst, fisting, two pillow princesses NOT making it work! Rated E.

Cytherea and Mercymorn have an ill-timed tryst.

per my last email. Camilla/Palamedes. Academia, banter. On peer review and multitasking. Rated M.

“Warden,” she said patiently, “you want me so badly it’s making you stupid."

RISKING OUR LIVES FOR UNIVERSITY HOLE???? 🤯😳 University AU, Team 69. The hole is a basement to be clear! Rated T.

The difficult part of visiting the local haunted house for a feature in the university magazine is not actually the visiting; it’s the writing about it afterwards.

So Messed Up. Ianthe/Coronabeth. Puppy play, collars & leashes, tail plug. Rated E.

Ianthe using her flesh magic to give Corona a big cock for petplay because she loves the idea of her sister being a big dicked bimbo puppy girl who just wants to rut into her.

The Great Gamete Gambit. Camilla & Palamedes, Pre-canon, worldbuilding, sixth house reproductive practices. Rated G.

Palamedes and Camilla have an important package to send, but there's been a heist in the gamete repository! Can the 15-year-old Master Warden and his cavalier crack the case?

The Sextus Scandal. Camilla/Palamedes, Epistolary, Pre-Canon Divergence. Rated E.

Transcripts and documents relating to the disciplinary hearing and subsequent resignation of Master Warden Palamedes Sextus.

Ways to Be Perfect. Babs/Colum Asht, GtN era, Rated M.

When Naberius first glanced across the supper table at Colum Asht, he didn’t immediately get the impression that he was liked.

The end!

Thank you for making it this far. If you enjoyed any of these works, or anything else in the collection, please drop a comment to make our creators feel appreciated <3

[post creators reveal exchange wrap post]

#tlt fic #fic recs #tlt holiday ex 2023 #tlt fanfic #tlt fanart #tlt #the locked tomb #if you enjoyed these pls leave feedback on the collection <3 #and thanks to the mods for putting it all together #114 (!!!!) works now!!!

[wardenparker]

Next to Normal, part 3

Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: 18+! Explicit for violence Word Count: 11.9k Warnings: Reader's age isn't pinpointed but you/she are old enough to remember the way the world worked before the Outbreak. Swearing. PTSD, past death of a child, mentions of pregnancy and STIs, panic attack, trauma reactions, home invasion, threats of murder, infliction of mortal injuries, descriptions of broken bones and other wounds, blink and you’ll miss It mention of drug use, manipulation, gaslighting, revenge, conspiracy, death. DEAD DOVE. DO NOT EAT. This chapter contains graphic violence! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Summary: Things have been going well with Joel until one fateful movie night. It will take fighting past all of your demons to make it to your happily ever after. Notes: The finale of this three-parter was particularly emotional for me to write and the relief of a happy ending was absolutely necessary. My hope is that there is absolutely no one in the world who can relate to the reader as she/you go through hell, but I'm realistic enough to know better. So to all my kindred spirits who struggle, I hope you find catharsis in reader's journey.

Part 1 ~ Part 2

Winter turned to spring with an ease and grace that almost made you forget that times are hard. The outside world is moving in whatever way it does, but Jackson is doing well. Ellie is learning basic agriculture in the fields on her school break and Joel is becoming more and more a way a part of how this town runs. He gets consulted on matters as a prominent citizen, from the basic to the complicated. This morning he was off at another meeting but he’ll be all yours for the afternoon, and then there is the movie at night. It is shaping up to be a nearly perfect day, as days go in this world, and you sit in your sewing nook letting out the seams on some dresses for a family in town with young girls — they’re growing like weeds and the girls’ favorite dresses are now too tight. Well, you can certainly fix that.

“Joel?” The door opens and Tommy sticks his head in to see if his brother is here. “Sorry, is Joel here? I need to talk to him.”

“He’s in the basement.” It’s become something of a workshop for him, but you wave for Tommy to come in. He knows the way down. “Is everything okay?”

“Had something come up.” Tommy admits, shuffling into the house and shutting the door. “Need to see if he can help.”

“I’m sure he can.” Instinctively, and wanting to be helpful, you set your sewing aside and move to the open door at the top of the basement stairs. “Joel? Tommy’s here to see you, honey.”

“Send him down.” Joel calls back up, grunting and there’s the sound of something being set down on the concrete floor. “Or send him away. Hell if I wanna put up with him.” He jokes.

“Asshole.” Tommy jokes with a rumble, but thanks you and heads down the stairs. “The hell you doing down here, building a bunker? The world already ended.”

Joel snorts and shrugs. “Makin’ some cabinets for her.” He motions towards the half-finished organizers. “For her doo-dads and stuff. Figured I might get it done by Christmas if I started now.”

“She’s happy.” It makes Tommy smile to see the two of you together these days. You’ve come so far with Joel, and he has softened so much with you. “It’s good to see.”

“You come to see me for any one reason? Or to comment on domestic bliss?” He raises a brow at his brother, slightly uncomfortable with the idea that your happiness is tied to him. You’ve been healing, but he’s not entirely sure that it’s because of him.

“Need you to come downtown.” Leaning back against the wall, Tommy shoves his hands in his pockets. “Patrol got their asses handed to them by a group of raiders and some wanderer helped them out of a tight spot. They blindfolded him and brought him back to town to stitch him up and they’re talking about letting him stay. But town council needs to meet on it and interview the guy.”

Joel isn’t a council member, even though some apparently thought him as good as one. “Can’t.” He shakes his head. “Gotta work on that pen with Ellie and then it’s movie night.”

“I know it’s movie night.” Tommy digs the toe of his boot into the floor of the basement. “That’s why they wanted this settled fast. Nobody wants to give up movie night.” He nods though, and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’ll tell ‘em you were busy.”

“Sorry.” Joel frowns slightly. “I just— I promised her a night.” He lowers his voice and looks towards the stairs to make sure you aren’t coming down. “It’s…that time and I’m tryin’ to keep her busy so the nightmares don’t come.”

“I know.” Tommy nods, knowing exactly what time of year you were found, considering he was the one who found you. Your boy should be turning a year old tomorrow, but that will never happen. “Is she…how has she been?”

“There’s some rough days.” Joel won’t deny that, he can’t. “But I think being here with us, living with me and Ellie, has been good for her.”

“It’s as normal as any of us are going to get.” Tommy offers, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll get out of your hair. You good, otherwise?”

“Yeah.” Joel nods and shoots his brother a look. “Thanks, for covering for me.”

"Once Maria gets your ass on the town council there won't be any helping you." He shoots his brother a grin and Tommy shakes his head, laughing at the thought. "See you tonight?"

Joel snorts. “See you tonight.” He promises, frowning as Tommy quickly ascends the stairs and huffs. His own knees would be crackling at the pace his younger brother was moving. The truth was, Joel didn’t want to stray too far from you over the next day or so, so he had come up with reasons to work down in the basement.

"Everything okay?" When you stick your head down the stairs a few minutes later after seeing Tommy out the door, Joel has his head back over his workbench.

“Yeah.” Joel looks up and is met with a worried shadow in your eyes. “Nothin’ to worry about. He just was tryin’ to recruit me for council business again.”

"They want you to join." Coming halfway down the stairs, you sit on the middle step as you've become accustomed to. It keeps you close to him but not close enough to be underfoot.

“Councils.” He snorts, looking up at you with a roll of his eyes. “Can you imagine me on a council?”

"They'd probably get more done," you tell him honestly. "Because you wouldn't put up with them sitting around talking in circles all day."

“I don’t talk, I act.” You know this, though he probably talks to you more than anyone else in this goddamn town.

"I know, love. That's why they want you." Still, you understand his hesitance to join in on anything like that. Joel doesn't like politicking and he doesn't like being responsible for anymore than just your little family.

“They can want in one hand…” he trails off and looks back up at you. “How’s the sewing going? That peddle workin’ alright on the machine?”

"Things are going a hell of a lot faster thanks to you." The previous town seamstress's sewing machine had broken and there hadn't been any luck in fixing it before Joel. Now, though? You're moving through projects with ease. "Thank you for that."

“Anything for you.” The simplicity of the words don’t smudge their meaning. Joel would do anything for you. It’s just the way he’s wired.

"I love you, too." A fact which still reduces you to a stammering schoolgirl in some ways, but it's the truth. Loving Joel has restored you in so many ways.

He huffs in embarrassment but his eyes soften as he sends you a small smile. “Love you too.”

“I’ll let you work.” As much as you like to be close to him as much as possible, you know he has work to do and so do you. “When are you going to help Ellie with the pen?”

“When she comes tracking back in.” Joel snorts and shoots you a look. “You tell her that if she doesn’t brush off her boots, she’s sweepin’ the floors.”

“Okay, love.” You chuckle softly as you get up from the stairs and blow him a kiss before heading back upstairs.

Joel watches you walk up the stairs, frowning slightly. He’s worried, waking up with a sense of foreboding that he’s learned to not ignore. Something’s going to happen. Walking over to a cabinet, he opens it to reveal the supplies he’s started slowly acquiring. His eyes narrow slightly, reaching out and touching the hunting knife in front of him.

******

“Joel c’mon, we’re gonna be laaaate!” Ellie wails across the pen, pulling her jacket back on after their work is done.

“Alright.” The kid needs to learn to put her tools up, but she did a decent job. “Grab your stuff.”

“I got it!” She yells, triumphantly holding up the tool belt that Tommy had lent to her for the work.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “You aren’t eager for the movie are you? Or is it more the person you’re sittin’ with?”

The grin instantly slips from Ellie’s face and morphs into an embarrassed blush. “Don’t know what yer talkin’ about,” she mumbles, kicking the dirt.

“Nothin’ to be embarrassed about.” Joel scoffs. “Dina’s a nice girl. You obviously like spending time with her.”

“She’s so pretty.” There’s a dreamy quality to the teenager’s face when she looks up again and Ellie swings herself over to Joel’s side enthusiastically. “And she…she holds my hand sometimes. But I probably shouldn’t overthink that, right?”

“Don’t under think it either.” Joel cautions her. “Don’t want her to think that you’re bored by her.”

“Right.” That seemed to not even occur to Ellie, and she furrows her brow in tight as they start to walk back toward their house. “Is that what happened with you guys? Why she didn’t know you even liked her at first?”

“Probably.” Joel admits easily. “Don’t know if you’ve noticed, kid, but I’m kind of an asshole.”

“Oh no, I know.” The grin she beams at him is enormous, like Joel’s grumpiness is her private amusement. “Somehow she doesn’t seem to care, though.”

“No, she doesn’t.” A fact that continues to astonish him. “But I try to be less of an asshole to her. That’s important in a relationship.” He tells Ellie like he’s imparting important wisdom.

“Don’t…be an asshole…to…Dina.” Ellie mimics writing the advice in the air on an invisible chalkboard and smirks. “Got it.”

“Good.” He snorts, rolling his eyes and huffing at the sarcasm displayed by the teenager. “You could get her some ice cream tonight.” He suggests.

“Ya think?” It seems to be an idea that hasn’t yet occurred to Ellie and immediately her eagerness has her walking faster. “Ohhh, yeah. She’d love that!”

Joel watches her pull ahead in amusement. “It’s the little things that count, kid.”

She could make a joke about his little thing, but that’s just gross to think about and she flinches instead as she walks along the road. “It’s just hard to know, ya know?” She says after a while. “If she likes me or not, I mean.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Joel doesn’t treat it as a joke, because it’s not. People are still emotional creatures and yearn for connection, even at the end of the world. “You should ask her to do something.” He suggests. “Something different.”

“Like when you guys go star gazing?” She asks, turning around to face him while she walks backward.

Joel smirks slightly, knowing that the star gazing often turns into more, but he just shrugs. “Something like that. Bird watching, star gazing, collecting shiny rocks from the riverbed.”

“Shiny rocks is good.” Like it’s the most profound thought in the world, Ellie nods. “We could go, like…walking on the river and pick up stones and look for birds?”

“Yeah.” Joel nods and smiles at the sight of Ellie staring off dreamily as she imagines her date. “Just be safe, you know?” He adds, clearing his throat. “Just because, you know, there can’t be babies doesn’t mean you can’t catch something.”

“Oh, ew, okay, way to ruin it.” She sticks her tongue out at him and makes a grossed out sound just as the house comes into view.

“Yeah, that’s what I get for trying to talk about that shit.” He chuckles and winces at the way he has managed to mess that up. “I’m sure you know all about what you need to know.” You have been a great motherly figured and he feels like having Ellie to dote on has helped you too.

It’s a few minutes later that Ellie busts in the front door of the house and sheds her jacket and tool belt to immediately to run upstairs. “Everything okay?” You ask Joel when he ambles in after her. “Ellie didn’t say a word when she came in. I’m assuming either something went wrong or she’s nervous about seeing Dina?”

Joel grins, a mischievous glint to his gaze as he looks at you. “Embarrassed her.” He admits shamelessly. “Told her that just because there won’t be no babies, don’t mean there can’t be something caught.” He feels just like he did when he embarrassed Sarah years ago.

“Nothing says quality Dad time like horrifying your teenager.” The smile you have for him is soft and sweet, and you wait until he’s shucked his jacket and set down his tools to kiss him.

His arms come around you easily. His own pressing of his lips against yours soft and promising. “Yeah. It’s pretty great.” He jokes, squeezing you slightly.

This is what’s great, and you sigh softly to yourself without even realizing it as the two of you just stand in the living room holding each other. The sense of serenity in just this house alone is such an enormous comfort to you and it’s almost entirely due to this man. “She’s a good kid,” you murmur in agreement.

“She is. And she’s about to have her first real girlfriend.” He snorts. “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

“Yeah.” A small nod of your head comes as your eyes drop back to the floor, thinking of the son you buried who will never see these milestones. “They do…”

“I’m sorry, beautiful girl.” It was a thoughtless comment, even for him. Knowing your loss and his own loss, he should have never said anything.

“It’s okay.” Sniffling the feeling away as best you can, you set your face to rights again and offer him a smile. “It’s just…I had another dream about him last night. That’s all.” They’re less frequent than they were but they do still happen regularly. It’s a battle not to let them take over your whole mind.

“I wish you were still holdin’ him.” Joel murmurs softly, pulling you into his arms for a comforting hug. “That I could have protected you both.”

“Nothing could have saved him.” As much as it hurts, you’ve had to make your peace with losing your son. There just wasn’t any way to keep him alive — especially considering you barely kept yourself alive. What’s terrifying is, as you lean into Joel’s chest, you could swear that you can feel hope winging in your chest. “At least…if it ever happens again…I know we’ll be safe this time.”

He wants to immediately shoot that down, to pretend you had never mentioned it. Too painful to even imagine losing another child, losing you. “I swear you would be safe.” Is what he promises, his hold on you tightening even more. As if his hug could shelter you from all the unknowns.

“I’m not asking for another. I’m not even sure I want another.” That clarification feels vitally important as his arms squeeze you tight. “I’m just saying, if it happened…I wouldn’t have to be scared.”

“You never have to be scared as long as I’m here.” He promises instantly. “If it happened, you ain’t gotta worry about me. I’ll take care of you.”

It’s a hell of a conversation to have almost by accident, considering you haven’t even had ‘traditional’ sex yet, but it’s important. Because you will. With the way you love him and the way he loves you, it’s not too far away. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too, beautiful girl.” By accident, Joel had learned that you love when he cups your cheek gently, so he does it now.

“When you two are done being mushy, I’m ready to go.” Neither of you had even heard Ellie come downstairs again, but here she is, grinning at you and teasing unrepentantly.

“Well, if you’re ready to go, what are we waiting for?” Joel huffs sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the teenager.

“For you to change your smelly ass shirt.” Ellie snorts.

Joel rolls his eyes, but he pulls away, knowing that he had been sweating plenty while working on the pen. “I’ll be two minutes.” He promises you.

Two minutes is enough for you to put away the last of your sewing, and Joel comes back down in a clean shirt with a smile on his face, ready to take his girls to a movie. It never matters what the movie is, you always go, always thinking back to that first date from months ago when things had started falling into place.

“Dina and Ellie are probably going to go sit by themselves, do you want to sit with Tommy and Maria, or find a cozy spot?” Joel asks as all of you walk out of the house.

“I’m feeling cozy,” you admit, taking his hand to hold when he offers it to you. “But we can be cozy next to your brother and Maria if you like. I can’t even remember what the movie is tonight. You might want to actually watch it.”

“Naaaaaahhhhh.” There’s been too many movies between that first one and now, but he’s still concentrating on you. Just the normalcy of being in this position with you.

“Gross.” Bemoans the teenager just a few feet away, but Ellie smirks more these days when she teases you than she used to. Since admitting she likes Dina, she seems to get it a little more.

“Whatever kid.” Joel slings his arm around your shoulder, having talked about the more casual touches and setting boundaries for everyday life after you moved in. You hadn’t wanted him to ask permission every time and he hadn’t wanted you to feel you had to feel bad for not wanting to be touch. So you had introduced a color system. If it was a hands off moment, you would tell ‘red’ and he wouldn’t touch you. If you told him ‘yellow’ it was an ask day. ‘Green’, like you had confirmed earlier before Tommy had arrived, meant he was free to touch you in a non-sexual way without any questions.

The walk is easy. Halfway there Dina appears from her own house to join Ellie, and a little bit further down the road you’re joined by the two women who have taken on being Jackson’s schoolteachers. Casual chatting is easy tonight. You don’t worry when Ellie and Dina slip ahead to find seats in their own back corner. You don’t worry because there hasn’t been reason to. Not in so very long.

Joel looks around the room, not because he’s measuring a threat or searching for an exit, just…seeing who is here. He sees Maria and Tommy chatting with a town council member and he wonders how the interview went. Not enough to move from your side as he guides you towards a pair of chairs, but he notices a stranger standing off to the side, dumbly watching the scene in front of him. “Huh.” He grunts.

“Want to sit in back?” Your eyes are on Joel and there is mischief in your smile when you look up at him. His arm is still around you and there’s something in the casual care of it that you’ve grown to love.

“Yeah.” He looks into your eyes and a slight smirk makes his face transform from hard to playful. “Take up the back so the kids can’t have it. We’ll make out.”

"They're not gonna kiss the first time at the movies." From talking with Ellie you know that she and Dina are either a long way off from that happening — or possibly a kiss will happen that will spark the conversation and other necessary things. But either way, the first one is definitely not going to happen in public. "We can definitely steal some back row seats from them."

“Never know.” Joel leans in to whisper in your ear. “Figure she might be smarter than the average kid.”

"Smart enough to treat her girl right." You can agree to that entirely. For now you tuck into his side, weaving your way through the seats to find your customary place in a dark corner.

When you turn into the seats with your fingers tangled through Joel's, though, you stop short. Sitting with another one of the town council members who is always hounding Joel to accept their invitation to join, is a tall man with rounded shoulders and an unkempt beard. His hair is shaggy and his eyes skirt around the room furtively, sussing out as many details and inspecting as many faces as they can until they fall on you. "Oh god..." Freezing in place at Joel's side, your fingers dig into his arm immediately, clawing at him instead of your usual gentle grip. "I—Joel—I think I'm having a flashback," you murmur quietly, not trusting your eyes even though the man sitting six feet away looks almost nothing like he did when you left Chicago over a year ago.

“What?” Joel frowns and he immediately reaches out to stroke your neck like you enjoy. “Still green?” He asks quietly, unsure of what has you rattled, but if something is bothering your peace, he wants to help.

“I need you to tell me if you see that man.” As shaky and as quiet as your voice is — barely a whisper — you don’t take your eyes off of the figure sitting by the windows for even a second. “With the brown hair and the thin beard?”

Joel frowns and quickly turns around. “The green plaid?” He asks as he looks away from the man back to you, noting how your breath is starting to rapidly increase, you’re about to have a panic attack. “Black jeans?”

“Oh god…” You had been hoping it wasn’t real. That he wasn’t real. That it was just your mind ruining your good mood with conjured images and fears that had so recently been put to bed. But now your vision is blurring and your knees are buckling, and the world is spinning around you so quickly that you feel like you’re going to be sick as your skin starts to crawl. “How?” You keep repeating, over and over again, muttering the word to yourself like a broken record. “How is he here? How?”

Something is seriously wrong and Joel is a man who going to fix what’s wrong. Turning back around, the man is gone and he quickly stands, pulling you to your feet. “Let’s go, beautiful girl.” He rushes out, knowing you would not want to have whatever is going on made public.

“How?” It’s like your mind is stuck on the worst kind of repeated loop, bumping over that one word, and you feel so stiff and terrified that you can barely swallow despite nearly hyperventilating and the tears now streaming down your cheeks. “How did he get here? How did he find me?”

“Who, beautiful girl, who?” Joel pulls you outside the movie theatre that used to be the old electronics store and cups your cheeks. “Who is he?” He knows, he feels it in his gut, but he wants you to say it.

The light in your eyes, the one that has so carefully been fostered and nurtured over the months you’ve spent in Jackson and especially with Joel, has completely gone out as you hiccup over a sob. Even two syllables are too much to take when you had felt so safe. “Aidan.”

His jaw hardens, his eyes flattening and darkening at the mention of the man who had tortured you. Done unspeakable things to you and nearly broken you. The name he had hoped you wouldn’t say. “They had a stranger come in today.” Joel wishes he had gone now, interviewed this man. “He helped the scouting party and they brought him in to interview.” Joel rubs his hands up and down your arms. “I’ll talk to Tommy, get him kicked out. He won’t stay.”

“He saw me.” You had looked each other straight in the eyes. It’s how you knew, in the worst pit of your stomach, that you weren’t hallucinating him. “H-he’s never going to leave i-if he knows I’m—I’m here…”

“Look at me.” Joel’s voice hardens slightly, knowing you are about to break down and he wants to keep you clear-headed. “He. Won’t. Touch. You.” He promises slowly, clearly. “They aren’t gonna want that son of a bitch here. He must have lied to the council and that doesn’t go over with them.”

“How?” Is all you can manage, feeling months’ worth of happiness shred apart inside you. Joel has you leaning with your back to the side of the building, but with every passing second your legs are giving out beneath you and you’re starting to slide to the ground in a deluge of new tears. You’ll never be safe. It will never be over.

He knows that nothing he can say will make you feel better, nothing. “Let me take you home.” He insists. “Then I’ll talk to Tommy.”

“Please don’t leave?” Any chance you have at protection lies with him and him alone, and you’re now more certain than ever that if he leaves your side, you’re doomed.

“Okay, okay beautiful girl.” Joel pulls you close. “I won’t leave. Let me take you home and Ellie can come home on her own.”

“O-okay.” As long as he doesn’t leave you, that’s what matters right now, and you cling to Joel like a lifeline when you hear the building doors open around the corner and the sound of heavy boots on the street.

“Joel?” It’s Tommy’s voice calling into the night. He must have seen you bolt for the door.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh, it’s Tommy.” Even though you know it’s his brother, your body tenses and you let out a whimper that breaks Joel’s heart as much as it makes him what to rip this Aidan apart. “I’m over here.”

“Everything okay?” When Tommy saunters around the side of the building it is immediately apparent that something is extremely wrong, and the younger Miller brother frowns in confusion.

“That fucker the council let in.” Joel growls, turning a fierce glare on the younger Miller, even though he had nothing to do with it. “What’s his name?”

“Um…Michael? Mike? Turner, I think it was. Mike Turner. Why?” He doesn’t like how pale you look, or how hard you have obviously been crying, and Tommy crosses his arms in discomfort. “Did he say or do something?”

“His fucking name is Aidan.” Joel hisses, looking back at you and hating how you flinch at the mere name.

“What the fuck?” Tommy’s eyes blow wide at that accusation, knowing exactly who ‘Aidan’ is and why you aren’t thrilled to hear the name ever. “That motherfucker is Aidan Stokes? You’re sure?”

“I’m taking her home.” He tells his brother. “Have Ellie sleep at your place?” He knows you will have a bad night and the best thing is to minimize the people witnessing it. Tommy nods and Joel pulls you away from the walk. “And get that fucker the hell out of here.” He calls over his shoulder, wishing he could take care of the problem himself.

“I’m on it.” Tommy promises, taking in the expression of pure terror and twisted grief on your features. In thirty seconds flat it’s as if you’ve gone back to being the same panicked little creature that you were when he had found you almost a year ago.

“Come one, beautiful girl.” Joel’s hands are gentle, trying to soothe as he coaxes you along. “We will get back to the house. Ellie will be at Tommy’s, all safe, and you will be with me. I won’t go anywhere.”

“I’m sorry.” Even murmured under your breath, the apology sounds just like the shadow of yourself that you had been for so long before Joel walked into Jackson and into your life. Apologizing for taking up space. For infringing on anyone else’s existence. For having the audacity to exist yourself.

“You got nothin’ to apologize for, beautiful girl.” If anything, he should apologize to you for not checking on that stranger. For exposing you to the terror of your past.

“Please don’t leave…” That thought is first and foremost in your head right now, barely even looking where you’re going through the sheet of shaky tears. You just can’t stomach the thought of losing Joel now, after so much. It would be like losing everything.

“Why would I leave?” He asks softly, aware that you are vulnerable and scared after seeing the specter of your nightmares. “You ain’t gettin’ rid of me, beautiful girl, I’m right here.”

There is a surge of it’s not fair slicing through the undercurrent of your thoughts, but more than not fair and more than scary, the situation is volatile. “He doesn’t know…” you remind Joel, clinging to his arm like the lifeline that it is. “Th—that—that I buried the baby.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Joel promises you quietly. “He’s not going to bother you, not gonna touch you.” He knows that Tommy will do what’s necessary to get the fucker gone from the community. Especially given what he knows was done to you.

“He’s going to try to.” Somewhere in the worst pit of your stomach, you know Aidan will try his hardest to get to the child he thinks you still have. Regardless of whose baby it biologically was, he had always viewed it as his. There had been weeks and months of taunting you over how that baby was going to be his control over you. So much so that you were actually a little grateful when he died. For his sake as much as your own.

“He’s leaving. We will make sure he’s gone.” Tommy will, because Joel isn’t going to leave your side. “You’re safe, sweet girl, I’m not going to let him even talk to you.” Fury floods his entire body, dark and brooding. Angry that this man has stolen the hard fought peace that you have started enjoying.

It doesn’t take long to get home with Joel hustling you along the street, even if you live outside of the main reaches of what could be considered downtown. You’re bundled into the house and stay next to Joel, watching him lock the doors and carefully walk through the house to assure you that you’re safe.

“We’re safe.” Joel promises you, stripping off the light jacket you had brought with you and rubbing your arms. He wants to kiss you, but is unsure if it might trigger some memories for you.

“I don’t know how he found me.” That’s the real question for you, and you’ve been rolling it over and over in your head since your head stopped spinning as badly.

“Don’t think he was expecting you to be here.” Joel didn’t miss the surprise and fury in the man’s face when he looked over at him. “Unhappy accident.”

“Fucking miserable accident,” you sigh, letting yourself slump forward into Joel’s arms for all the security and warmth that they provide.

“I know, beautiful girl.” Joel growls, shaking his head. “He’s stolen your smile, and I’m not going to allow that. He’s not going to interrupt your peace again.”

"I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight." It's bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit, the way ten seconds has stolen away (in Joel's words) a whole year of progress. "But I don't want you to not sleep on my account."

“You think I’m gonna sleep if you’re awake?” Joel would roll his eyes, but he knows you will just shut down even more. “No, beautiful girl, we can stay up together. Make sure that you are safe. And then, when he’s out of this town and out of our lives for good, we’ll sleep.”

"I'm sorry." The murmured apology is less for something you've done directly and more for the fact that you know this is affecting his life in a very distinct way now. A way that he would not have to worry about at all if not for you.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.” He cups your cheek. Tilting your head up from where it’s looking down at the floor. Holding your chin is a no for you, but you don’t fight him. “Nothin’.” He repeats. “You want a hot bath? Soak? I can sit on the toilet seat while you do.”

"I just want to get in bed." Something about the vulnerability of being naked is too much to deal with right now and you shake your head slightly, hoping he will understand. "Can't exactly turn on the tv and zone out to a bad movie anymore." You wish you could, but because of that bastard you had to leave movie night.

“You want to change into your softest pajamas and then we can curl up?” Joel offers. “I can go into the bathroom and get you a glass of water while you change.”

"Stay with me?" The pajamas and curling up part sounds perfect, but you swallow thickly at the idea of him going anywhere. It's clingy, sure, but right now that's pretty fucking understandable. I don't...I don't think I can be alone."

“Always, beautiful girl.” Joel nods and he pushes the bedroom door almost closed after he steps back from you. Starting to shrug out of his jacket. “We’ll just pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist, hmm? Sound good to you?” He wishes he had some of the drugs he used to peddle in Boston, he would give you a few to calm you down if you wanted.

"Would you...mind talking to me?" The monologue in your head — all that noise that overtakes and overwhelms you with anxiety — quiets when Joel talks. Like your nerves are only willing to listen to him and him alone. "About anything. I just...it helps quiet all the angry thoughts."

“Sure, beautiful girl.” He’s dealt with this before, with Ellie after her run in with David, and he kicks off his shoes. “Thinkin’ I might take that council seat after all.” Tonight has been the deciding factor for him. “Have a say in who comes into this place. It’ll mean that some of the repairs will have to be done by Thompson, but he’s comin’ along. He’s not a complete idiot.”

"A town like this can't survive with just one good handyman." It's already better, just hearing him talk. The soothing cadence of Joel's voice sheds just a speck of anxiety everytime he opens his mouth and you remind yourself that you have to move. You're supposed to be changing your clothes to get ready for bed.

“Tommy’s better, but don’t tell him I said that.” His belt opens and he quickly unbuttons his jeans. “Man’s getting a little too cocky, strutting around here with that goofy grin of his.”

"He's happy." Tommy has a full life here. One that he reached out and took hold of with both hands and full determination. He has a wife and a baby and work that keeps him satisfied and busy. That's not the kind of thing he ever could have claimed about his life before Jackson. It's something to be proud of, and you're happy for your friend. Even if right now happy feels a million miles away.

“Yeah, he is.” It’s amazing to say, even more amazing to realize that his own feelings are pretty goddamn close to happy as well. At least until about twenty minutes ago. “What a loser.” He jokes, chuckling at his own lame joke. You have started undressing and he’s happy that you are focused on something else.

"Before tonight, I would have said we were happy, too." There is no lingering stroll across the room, or fully stripping down before completely redressing in your pajamas like usual. As soon as your regular shirt is off, the soft material of your sleep shirt replaces it. No sooner are jeans shed than warm sweatpants replace them. This is perfunctory, not an enjoyable and lazy night with your boyfriend.

“We are happy.” Joel soothes quietly. “Today is a bad day. Tomorrow might be too, but he’s not going to ruin our happiness, even if it takes a few steps back.” Joel sits on the edge of the bed, watching you as your fingers fumble with the edges of your shirt. “How do you want to cuddle, beautiful girl?” He asks. “You want me surrounding you? Or do you want to sprawl out on me?” He wants to give you as much control as possible right now, knowing how helpless you feel.

“I need you around me.” He really is your safe place. There is no doubt about that. But as you take a step toward him and the bed, the sounds of someone pounding on the front door downstairs ring through the brittle air.

Joel’s springing to his feet and frowning. Especially since you immediately look like you’re about to faint. “Go to the bathroom.” He tells you. “Lock the door.”

There are a lot of thing a in the world that you doubt — almost everything, really — but not Joel. Even though you feel frozen you manage to do what he tells you, grasping him in a tight hug before he closes the bathroom door for you beside your bedroom and you click the lock into place. Do you need him around you to feel safe and supported? Absolutely. But you’ve also learned to trust his instincts.

The hunting knife from the basement had been moved to his dresser and he grabs it before coming down the stairs. Listening to the pounding on the door as he crawls closer. On edge until he recognizes the silhouette of his brother.

The moment the door cracks open Joel sees the panic on Tommy’s face and his little brother smooths the hairs out of his face with one expressive hand. “Is she okay?” He asks immediately, your safety being top priority in this moment.

“She’s upset. But she’s fine.” Joel frowns, looking around. “Why are you here?”

The frown on Tommy’s lips is immediate, forehead creasing in apologetic embarrassment. “He’s—Stokes— he’s gone,” he admits quietly, just in case you’re nearby.

“He’s gone?” Joel frowns and steps outside. “What the fuck does that mean? You’ve already kicked him out?” It doesn’t seem like Tommy would be so upset by this fact so something’s not adding up.

“By the time I got back into the movie he had bolted,” Tommy explains, obviously pained to have to admit that he’s fucked up your safety. Or at least that he feels like it’s his fault. “Town council’s got people patrolling and staked out all over and the movie’s going ahead so nobody gets spooked.”

Joel reaches out and grabs the edges of Tommy’s jean jacket. “I’m going to kill him.” He growls to his brother. “When he’s caught, I’m going to ‘escort’ him out of town. Won’t do it here, but she’s nearly catatonic with panic.”

“If I find him first, I’m getting a few hits in for what he did to her,” his brother promises him. Tommy’s felt like an overprotective brother since the day he brought you into town. These days? He takes the job pretty literally.

“Shit.” Joel lets go of Tommy’s jacket and steps back into the opened door. “I need to— don’t tell her.” He warns him. “If he’s not caught right away. I can’t— we aren’t leavin’ this house.”

“It’ll only make her more scared to know he’s running around.” Tommy can absolutely agree to that, though he knows you might be upset with them later for not keeping you completely informed. The less fear and panic you feel, the better.

“I’m not gonna tell her, but I’m not gonna let her leave until I know that fucker is in ropes, ready to be lead to slaughter.” Joel frowns.

“Fair enough.” Considering Tommy has a knife in one pocket and a gun on his other hip, it’s fair to bet that he feels the same way. “I’m sorry, Joel. If I’d have been faster we coulda taken care of this easily. But we’ll get it sorted.” He’s ready to go — ready to join the patrol that is currently stalking the streets of Jackson — when he hears a sound in the basement.

Joel freezes, eyes narrowing as he listens. The second step from the bottom of the basement stairs creaks and it just made a sound. “He fucking— that bastard.” Joel hisses, spinning around and rushing towards the basement door.

The door makes a sickening crack when Joel throws it open, but Tommy is on his heels. The motherfucker followed them. He took a look at a happy and healthy and thriving woman and decided to ruin her again. He just didn’t bet on the fucking Miller brothers to be in his way.

Joel goes barreling down the stairs, lowering his shoulder at the figure that is about halfway up. Grunting when he connects with the body, Joel pushes off the stairs and launches both him and the motherfucker into the air.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” When he hits the ground he’s sure he hears something crack in his shoulder. The figure that flew at him is a blur and there’s more footsteps on the stairs that he can’t see the owner of through the fist headed straight for his face.

The first crack of a fist hitting bone is sharp, pain blooming in his fist and radiating up his arm, but Joel barely registers it. Fury numbing him to the pain and adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Fucker.”

“What—fuck—what the fuck?!” Putting up his arms to cover his face and thinking fast, he tries to pull away and keep from getting his face ruined.

"Break into my house." Joel growls furiously, pulling his fist back again and letting it fly. "Looking for her."

“Looking for my baby!” It’s the sympathy vote. Banking on shame and embarrassment and not being willing to tell the entire story to worm his way through the details. The sob story is his best chance of not getting his face beat in.

Joel knows what the man is doing. He had heard the same sad excuses used by others once upon a time when he was less than scrupulous. Not that he's an upstanding citizen now, but this is personal. "Didn't knock." Joel points out as he grabs the man's jacket and hauls him up so that the single light from a bare bulb illuminates your tormentor's face and gives his own a dark, foreboding, shadow as he glares down at him. "Big mistake." He grunts right before punching him again.

“Wait—wait!” Kicking his legs and barely managing to throw the next blow, the descent of another assailant at the bottom of the stairs and another fist comes out of nowhere along with a pained scream.

“Why are you here?” Joel roars, gripping the man with both hands and shaking him like a rag doll, furious that he would dare break in to harm you.

“For my baby!” He tries again, mind not really working hard on a new excuse when he’s trying to fend off now two grown men apparently intent on beating the shit out of him.

“There is no baby.” From the top of the stairs, your voice cuts through the din — shaky but loud enough to be heard.

Joel’s head twists around and he stares at the black figure at the top of the stairs. “We have him.” He pants, keeping the iron grip on the man who had tortured you and makes him hiss in pain when he grabs his hair and yanks his head back for you to see his already battered face. He knows it pains you to admit your son is gone, but he’s concentrating on your safety.

“I can see that.” The click of metal comes before you step down the stairs, Joel’s gun held out in front of you with a surprisingly steady hand. “I could hear it from upstairs.”

“You don’t have to be around him.” Joel promises you, keeping an eye on you as you descend the stairs with the gun in your hand. He knows you won’t shoot him, but you could drop the revolver.

From catatonic with fear to oddly quiet and resolute, your entire mood has changed in the mere minutes that Joel has been gone. It was the idea that he could hurt Joel that changed everything. That the happiness that you’ve fought so hard for here in Jackson could be taken by the same man who stole your entire sense of self for so long. That isn’t going to happen. “He’s in our house,” you remind Joel flatly. As if to say that makes him both our problem.

“Our house?” The man on the ground has the audacity to sneer the question. Making Joel hiss. “Managed to get your hooks into this one already? Knew you were a slut.”

Joel growls, turning around and slamming the man into the concrete so his head bounces few good times before yanking him up again. “Shut the fuck up before I rip your goddamn tongue out.” He warns darkly.

“Why are you here, Aidan?” Making no mistake about the action, you very deliberately aim the revolver at his chest and put your thumb on the hammer.

“I’m— they brought me here!” He cries, eyes widening and darting back to look at the two men who are towering over him. He hadn’t thought you would be protected like this when he broke in. “Not for you! Why would I want a whore like you?” He shakes his head, addressing Tommy and Joel. “She’s—don’t know how many men she’s fucked here, but she was in Chicago with us—my group. She spread her legs for anyone.” He lies desperately.

Carefully cocking the revolver is the sound that cuts through Aidan’s bullshit, and Tommy is staring at you in completely silent wonder as he and Joel hold tight to your attacker. “I know why you’re in Jackson, asshole. I’m asking why you’re in my basement.”

“I don’t—I didn’t—you bit—” the comment is cut off by a howl of anguish, his body jerking.

Joel has just driven his hunting knife into the meaty flesh of his thigh above his knee. “Fucking lie to her and I’ll pop your kneecap off like a pimple.”

It turns out that under the layers of fear and the layers of trauma, it’s protecting your family that is what brings out the deadliest tendencies in you. Thinking about what could have happened if Ellie or the baby were here? It snapped you out of all that terror faster than blinking. “One more time. Why are you here?”

Sobbing, Aidan isn’t nearly as powerful as he had been in Chicago. He had assumed this little town was his ticket to safety, to shelter. Until he had seen you and immediately decided that he would use you to solidify his position here in this place. He had been warned by the council that if it didn’t work out he would be taken out into the wilderness and left. “For you. You’re mine.” He tells you, looking at you with a pitiful, pleading expression. “I love you, baby. And you swore you would always love me.”

“He told you not to lie to me.” Surprising to everyone including yourself, you step forward and finally come off the bottom step to stand on the basement floor. “I don’t belong to you and I don’t love you and everybody in this room knows what you and your cronies did to me so don’t fucking lie about it.”

“I can’t go back out there.” Aidan confesses, grimacing in pain and trying not to move too much because of the knife embedded in his thigh. “I won’t— I can’t be out there. You can make it to where I can stay.”

At the idea that you would help him in any way, you actually laugh out loud. “You’re not going back out there,” you promise him with dark surety. “But that’s mostly because you’re not leaving this basement. If I don’t kill you?” You nod to Joel, knowing full well that you’re being honest. “He will.”

“You were a dead man the moment I found out who you were.” Joel growls honestly. Even if the town council had let him go, Joel would have tracked him down. Wanting to make sure that there was no way he could ever show back up in your life.

“So the only thing you get to decide is how fast you die.” With the revolver still in your hand, you raise your arm to point it at his head instead of at his chest where there is too much chance of hitting something that will only wound but not kill him. “I can do this quickly. Or I can let him tear you apart.” The nod to Joel is understood, but for some reason you can’t stomach the idea of Aidan Stokes knowing anything about your happy life. Not even Joel’s name.

Joel watches you for a moment and then lets Aidan go, straightening up and stepping back. He wont stop you if this is what you want to. It’s your right, your fucking right to end this piece of shit if you want.

“Fast or slow, Aidan?” Not that you were given a choice in how you were tortured. Or your son was given a choice in how long he lived. Not that Joel was given a choice in keeping Sarah. Not that Aidan will truly get to choose, either. You’ve already made up your mind what will happen to him.

“Babe...please.” Aidan shakes his head. “You don’t— this isn’t you. You love me.” He protests.

“It’s the person you made me.” You tell him flatly, before carefully holding the gun out to Joel. “However you want to do it,” you tell him flatly, before turning and taking Tommy’s arm to leave the basement. The truth is that you aren’t sure you could pull the trigger, even after everything you’ve been through. But you sure as hell never want him touching another living being ever again.

Joel smirks, a dark look in his eyes and Tommy swallows. He knows what Joel is capable of when he wants to be vicious. “Do you want to watch, beautiful girl?” His voice is soft. Deceptively so.

“No.” In the back of your mind you know that Joel will hold back if you are here, and that is a mercy that Aidan doesn’t deserve. “We’re going to sit upstairs. Come up when you’re done.” There will be more work to do at that point. There will be cleaning and disposal of a body you intend to spit on once it’s in the ground.

“Baby, wait.” Aidan’s panicked voice is laughing nervously. “You don’t mean that. It’s not funny, tell him you’re joking.” He begs. “Tell him you’re joking!”

You stop on the second step, the one that squeaks and now you don’t think you ever want Joel to repair it. With a drawn face and nothing but hardness in your eyes, you turn and shake your head at the man who has tortured you in so many different ways for years. “Rot in hell, Aidan.”

“Baby…baby…” his voices rises in panic and his eyes widen, scrambling to his feet and groaning at the wound in his leg. “Baby, don’t go! Don’t do this!” Joel lifts his foot and plants it in the middle of Aidan’s chest to kick him back down.

The last sounds he gets from you is the definite thumping of your heels on the ground floor and the slamming shut of the basement door followed by the click of the lock that holds it in place. Of course there is a mechanism on the other side so it can be opened by anyone downstairs as well, but it's the principle of the thing. That his fate has been sealed, and by you.

“You should leave now.” Joel tells Tommy seriously. What he’s about to do might get him in serious trouble with the town council and he doesn’t want to fuck things up for his younger brother. He’s got Maria and the baby to think about. If Joel gets kick out of Jackson, you can come with him.

Tommy doesn't say anything, but only nods and hustles up the stairs after you. He unlocks the door to let himself out into the kitchen then locks it again behind him, unsure of the state he'll find you in.

All the emotion you have is basically tied up in exhaustion, which has you leaning against the kitchen counter when Tommy appears. Whatever Joel is going to do downstairs is up to him. But whatever it is, you sincerely hope it causes the man who hurt you as much pain as absolutely possible on his way out of this life.

The sounds start almost immediately. The dull thwack of something hitting something soft, followed by a muffled cry. Repeated in a symphony of motion that could almost have a rhythm until it pauses. Followed by a low murmur and a vicious howl of agony.

“Self defense,” you murmur a few seconds later, looking up at Tommy. “He broke into our house. Joel had to act in self-defense.” The council will ask questions. You know that. But you aren’t about to let anything happen to Joel as a result of what just happened downstairs. If need be, you will stand in front of the town’s leadership and tell them exactly what he did to you in excruciating detail. They won’t argue after that.

“I’ll tell ‘em the same thing.” Tommy immediately agrees. “After all, he did break in.” He steps closer to you, a frown on his face pulling his mustache down. “How are you holdin’ up? I know— honey, I’m so goddamn sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You couldn’t have. It’s not like I showed you his picture or anything.” You’re definitely not doing well, but you’re doing better than you thought you would be with all things considered.

“I should have asked more questions.” Tommy shakes his head and is still going to blame himself. A high pitched squeal comes from the basement door and he looks over at it knowingly.

“That assumes that he would have given honest answers.” You shake your head and pour two short glasses of water, offering one to Tommy and sipping the other for yourself. The antique clock nearby reads almost one in the morning and you frown at it, shaking your head. “It’s over now. Joel is finishing the job and I can start to sleep a little bit deeper at night.”

The low moan of pain is almost animalistic, long and drawn out, is almost cut off with a wet gurgle. Tommy shifts, almost visualizing what Joel is doing to cause that sound.

“He deserves it,” you remind Tommy, who fidgets at the sounds coming from the basement. “I’m just glad Ellie is at your house. She shouldn’t have to hear any of this.”

“I know he deserves it.” Tommy nods. “I just know what Joel is doing based on the sounds.” He admits. “There was a time that we…weren’t the best people.”

“I know.” Joel has told you some of his own past. Nothing too graphic, but enough that you had a very solid idea of what he is capable of. “That’s why I know he’ll finish the job when I don’t think I could.”

“I think you would have.” Tommy argues. “You looked like you would have pulled the trigger right then when you came down those stairs.”

You nod, thinking perhaps you might really have done it right there in the beginning. But you’ll never know. “There’s no guarantee that my aim would have been good enough to kill him.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.” Tommy snorts. “It’s amazing what can happen when the people you love are threatened.” As if agreeing, another sound comes from the basement.

The clock draws your eye again, and you glance out the window up at the moon before looking back at Tommy. “It’s his birthday,” you tell him quietly. “The baby’s. He should be one today.”

Tommy bites his lip and nods, understanding that this is a bittersweet day for you. “Then it’s just that it’s today that bastard draws his last breath.”

"They always say babies look like their father, but he didn't. He looked like me." At least you could be grateful for that, if nothing else. "It's a small mercy."

“He was beautiful then.” Tommy tells you quietly, patting your shoulder and wondering if you wanted a hug. “Inside and out.”

“Thank you.” It’s enough that Tommy is kind. That you have come to know and to trust him as a brother over the last year. It’s enough that he’s here and he’s supportive. Even if being supportive just means standing with you in silence while Joel finishes what needs to be finished downstairs.

Slowly, footsteps sound on the stairs. Not a thudding, heavy trod, but weary. Stopping at the top and there’s a small knock, just one rap of a knuckle against the wood.

You make it to the door before Tommy does, flipping the lock and pulling it open to reveal Joel on the top step with more than a little blood on him.

The vicious fire is gone, extinguished from his eyes and replaced with a weary sense of peace. He doesn’t reach for you, aware that you could be repulsed by the sight of him. “It’s done.” He sighs out. “He’ll never fuckin’ bother you again.”

There is no blood on his face somehow, no remnant there of the work he’s done besides the sweat on his forehead, and you kiss him softly before stepping back. “Go wash up, love. Tommy and I will take care of things from here, and then I’ll come to bed. Is that okay?”

Joel’s eyes slide over to Tommy and he silently communicates with him. “That’s fine, beautiful girl.”

******

It’s hours later when you fulfill that promise, dragging yourself up into your bedroom in the black of night to find Joel sitting up in bed staring at the wall. “I’ll wash,” you tell him wearily, the adrenaline of fear and finality having dissipated into the night. Now you’re just bone tired.

Joel nods. “I’ll run you a bath.” He moves slowly, groaning as he gets up from the bed and shuffles towards the bathroom. His hand is broken, fractured in several places and it will be a bitch to work for the next several weeks, but he doesn’t care. As long as you are safe, he will shoulder any pain.

“I—” In the doorway of the bathroom you pause, sunken shoulders and drawn face returning you to the sad, guilty version of yourself that you so often are when thoughts or even conversation turns to the topic of your past. It hangs in the air tonight like a heavy fog. “I’m sorry. For asking you to do that. But when I got downstairs I realized that I couldn’t pull the trigger, I just…I knew that you could.”

Joel frowns when he turns from the edge of the tub, reaching for the faucet to turn it on. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He grunts quietly, shaking his head. “Come here, beautiful girl.”

“Asking you to kill for me seems like it warrants an apology,” you point out, though you willingly let him draw you into his chest without hesitation. The whole night was meant to be relaxed and rejuvenating and it had turned into hell.

“I would kill for you a hundred more times.” Joel huffs quietly. “I was afraid.” He admits. “Afraid that you would be afraid of me after seeing the aftermath.”

“Afraid of my knight returning from battle?” You shake your head against his chest and inhale the comforting scent of clean Joel. “I owe you everything. Hell…I wanted to give you everything anyway.”

“You don’t owe me a damn thing.” Joel huffs, relaxing against you and slipping his arms around your back. You seem crave the shelter of him right now, so he won’t even ask if you are comfortable. “I love you. I—you are perfect.”

“No I’m not.” It’s not even self deprecating, but you look up at him with a serious expression, arms tight around his waist. “But as long as we’re the right kind of imperfect for each other, I’m okay with that.”

“Let me take care of you, beautiful girl.” He murmurs softly. “I’ll keep you safe. Always.”

******

The next summer is sunny and hot, giving you an excuse to wear all of the cute dresses that you had made for yourself from scraps and hand-me-downs over your time in Jackson. Today is definitely not the day for scraps, though. Today you have possibly the nicest dress you have ever made for yourself. The soft yellow fabric is embroidered with flowers that match the crown of wildflowers that Dina helped you weave for your hair, and even though your belly is now big enough to be in the way more often than not, you feel like you’ve finally earned the name that Joel has been calling you since the very first night you went to the movies together more than a year ago. Tommy is with Joel and Ellie over at your house this morning while you’re getting ready for the day with Maria and cooing over the toddler that she and Tommy have devoted all of their time and love to. It’s a very big day. One that is both a long time coming and feels like it came at you faster that lightning.

“Too goddamn old for this.” Joel grumbles, running his hand over his surprisingly smooth cheek. The barber had offered a shave to go with the haircut this morning and he had decided to just leave a mustache. Tommy snickers and his older brother stops his pacing long enough to glower at him. “I’m fucking fifty-eight years old, about to get married and have a baby.” He’s not upset, he’s nervous, afraid of fucking it up. Wanting the hard fought for happiness that seems to be everyday life now.

“Nobody told you to propose, old man,” Tommy teases, getting a fist bump from Ellie for his effort.

Joel huffs and shakes his head. “What kinda man would I be if I didn’t?” He asks. “It’s my baby.”

“That’s Dad that I hear in there.” Still, Tommy can’t judge too much — and he isn’t, not really — since he did the same thing. “We’re damn lucky to have these women and we know it. We gotta keep them close.”

“Still can’t believe it.” Once the dragon of your nightmares had been slayed in real life, you had blossomed. It was like you had still been living with the subconscious fear that Aidan would find you. Now that he had been unceremoniously burned, his ashes buried, that weight had fallen off of you and very naturally, you had eased into a physical intimacy with Joel. It happened the first time. One time inside you and he had gotten you pregnant.

"You act like you didn't know where babies come from. Or forgot." Ellie is kicked back in the living room of the house in a full suit and tie with her boots all cleaned and shined for the occasion. Since Tommy is going to be the one to actually marry you on behalf of the Town Council, she's standing up as Joel's Best Person. "Do we need to draw you a diagram, old man?"

“Listen, brat—” Joel points his finger at the teenager. “Just because you can’t get pregnant with Dina, doesn’t mean you can get cocky.” He raises a brow. “Or should I make it a rule you gotta keep your door open when she’s over?”

"You wouldn't?!" That has her drawing back immediately, wide eyed and extremely displeased with the idea of not having privacy with her girlfriend.

“Mmmmhmmm.” He chuckles and straightens back up, pleased to have made his point, even if he was only teasing. “Now I just get to worry about everything all over again.”

"You've got help this time." While he's not proud of it, Tommy knows he wasn't a hugely helpful part of raising Sarah. He'd done what he could back then but he just had no idea how to be anything besides a playmate. Now, with a young child of his own, he's prepared to be a fully functioning extra pair of hands should you and Joel need the help.

"Uncle Tommy and Big Sister Ellie." The teen plants her fists on her hips and grins. "What could possibly go wrong?"

“God help us all.” Joel huffs, even though he’s extremely pleased with the sentiment. “You think she’s ready yet?” He asks, glancing at the clock impatiently. “Damn woman wanted to wait to get married, and she’s about to pop.”

"Just as long as she doesn't go into labor at the reception," Tommy jokes, shaking his head. That had happened one of his old Army buddies way back when.

“Oh fuck.” Joel’s eyes widen at the possibility.

“Christ, Tommy,” Ellie groans, throwing a pillow at the younger Miller. “Don’t get him all freaked out.”

“Doc Sanchez is gonna be there, right?” He asks Tommy, ignoring the eye rolling. Most of the damn town is going to be at the second ever Jackson wedding, both of them ironically Millers, but he has to be sure.

“The whole ass town is going to be there.” Tommy hoists himself out of his seat to try to soothe his brother. Joel wants this, he’s just nervous as all hell. “But yes, Doc Sanchez will be there.”

“Good.” Joel blows out a breath and grins, a halfcocked thing that lights up his face and makes him look younger, softer. “Fuck, I’m getting married.”

“How you found two different women willing to put up with your shit forever, I’ll never know.” He pats his brother on the shoulder, but Tommy is grinning too. He knows how much you and Joel love each other, and how you’ve eased the stings and bruises of each other’s pasts.

“Don’t know, but I’m lucky.” Joel admits easily. You know about his past with Tess and don’t feel jealous of it, which he is grateful for.

“It’s almost time.” Ellie points at the clock on the mantle and hops to her feet, ready to snap the straps on her suspenders if she was wearing any.

The wedding is supposed to be simple, but it doesn’t feel that way. His heart is in his throat and he remembers another wedding, a lifetime ago, and he knows it will be better than that one. He never regretted being with his ex-wife, because he had Sarah, but he knows he will be a better partner, husband, and hopefully father this time around. He’s getting a second chance at life and he’s not going to take it for granted. “Let’s go get me married.”

******

The wedding was supposed to be simple, but it didn’t end up feeling that way. The flowers cut by neighbors and friends from their gardens, the food cooked and delivered from kitchens all around town, and the few musically inclined folks coming together to make a band all mean that this morning at town hall felt like the most exquisite frontier wedding you could ever ask for, and now that the reception is in full swing it’s probably the biggest party that Jackson’s seen since well before the world ended. Mr. and Mrs. Miller pronounces the hand drawn sign on the little table where you and Joel are sitting, eating your lunch and watching people move to and fro filling their plates and saying their hellos. In time you’ll start the dancing, but for now the first one to get their boogie on is the peanut you’ve been carrying around for the last eight months.

You grimace slightly and Joel is immediately turning towards you. The wedding band on his finger feels foreign but he ignores the way it catches the light as he reaches out to touch your stomach. Feeling the baby has been unlimited for him, although your days of not wanting to be touched are becoming few and far between. “Are you okay, beautiful girl?” He asks quietly, trying to alarm anyone, including himself.

“The baby’s dancing on every organ he can find,” you joke, having been certain for months now that you’re having another boy. You don’t really know how you know. You’re just completely certain.

He manages to crack a grin, something frequent that happens when he’s feeling the baby pound against his palm through your uterus. “Wants to dance, feelin’ a little left out in there.” He murmurs softly, looking up into your eyes.

“You’ve still got a little baking left to do in that oven, buddy,” you murmur, smoothing your hand over your belly and laughing when that only seems to illicit more activity. “Just let us have today, sweet boy. That’s all we ask.”

He hopes that this baby brings you the joy you had missed with your last child. He has worked tirelessly to make sure that your every need has been taken care of and you can have the least stressful pregnancy at the end of the world as possible.

“Are you happy we did this, love?” You ask, covering his hand with yours over your belly. Technically it was Joel’s idea to get married, telling you that he’s just old fashioned enough that if you were going to make a family together that he wanted you to be a family in that traditional way. You’d even gone through the trouble of making a set of formal adoption papers to say that Ellie was officially your daughter.

“Of course I am.” Even with all the nerves and worries that he holds on his shoulders, he doesn’t regret this. He knows you are safe and if something ever happens to him, Tommy and Ellie and all the citizens of Jackson will help you and protect you. “How about you, beautiful girl? You happy to be the second Mrs. Miller in town?”

“If we’re going by Victorian rules, I’m the Mrs. Miller and Maria is considered second. Perks of marrying the older brother.” It’s dumb, though, and you know it just comes from too many period dramas back in your teens. “Of course I’m happy, love. This is…honestly? It’s not the way my dreams happened when I was younger but all the boxes are perfectly checked. And you’re even better than any of the guys I imagined way back then.”

He huffs out a small laugh and wonders what kind of man you had originally thought about. “Well, I hope that it continues to be what you want. If it’s not, you give me hell and I’ll change what needs changing.”

“Same for you.” You acknowledge seriously, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Nothing is really ever perfect, so if something needs fixing, we fix it. Together.”

“Together.” Joel nods, smiling down at the bump and then up at you. Ellie’s laughter catches his attention and he watches as the girl who had brought him to Jackson dances with Dina, beaming at her girlfriend as she holds her close. The journey to this moment had been full of anger, heartbreak, tears and loss, but right now the future for Joel and his little family looks bright.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04

N2N: @missladym1981, @orcasoul

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #ptsd #assault survivor #dead dove #do not eat #dead dove do not eat

[alicent-vi-britannia]

12 characters, 12 story arcs, 1 theme

A few days ago, I tried to synthesize in a single word the narrative arcs of the Code Geass characters (at least, the ones I know they have) with the intention of extracting the theme of each one. I will briefly explain my conclusions. Or, put another way, what each theme means for each character. I'll leave Lelouch for last because he's the main character and his theme is supposed to be that of the series. We go from bottom to top.

Self-fidelity / Milly: "the girl who learned to be in touch with her own desires and chose to be true to herself to bring out her best version." I think the phrase explains it perfectly. Milly found happiness and she became more mature once she decided to stop serving her family's wishes and focus on herself and what she wanted to be and do.

Confidence / Ohgi: "the man who learned to trust himself to become the leader his organization and his country needed." Ohgi's arc is inspiring, if you take off your toxic fandom glasses and take his journey seriously. It is true that he made certain mistakes, but he always thought of the welfare of his people and his comrades. That was his main motivation and what led him to overcome his personal insecurities. I was going to make a comparison, but you guys won't like it and you'll attack me.

Happiness / Euphemia: "the girl who dreamed of a world in which all people were happy." This is the only arc that was cut short and did not come to fruition for reasons that I don't need to detail. Euphemia was a selfless princess without a purpose until she met her brother again and wanted to restore happiness to him, Nunnally and the rest of the Japanese.

Truth / Nunnally: "the girl who had to discover the truth to grow up to become the empress who could rebuild a new Britannia." She is literally blind and cannot see the world as it is, but as it should be (hence her idealism). She also can't see through her brother's and her friend's lies, until her determination and her circumstances push her to do so. It doesn't seem strange to me that the breaking of the seal coincides with the moment in which she learns the truth and decides to face it.

Justice / Nina: "the girl who had to seek justice for the murder of her beloved and her own acts and thus be a better person." Nina's arc is a revenge arc. Obviously. But the anime gives it a negative treatment, as Nina only gets worse with each new chapter. It's not until she understands all the destruction that her revenge can cause (in a literal sense) that she stops and reconsiders. The Zero Requiem gives Nina the opportunity to redeem herself and give justice to her beloved since the culprit pays for her crime. It's at this point that she begins to heal.

Honor / Jeremiah: "the man who managed to win back his honor after offering his loyalty to his enemy." The entire arc of Jeremiah revolved around honor. He believed that he had failed his empress and his prince, made a fool of himself on a live broadcast, was demoted and fell to the bottom. From there, he only lived to seek revenge. But then again, it wasn't the way. He only redeemed himself by putting himself at the service of a lord worthy of his loyalty: his enemy.

Humanity / Rolo: "the murder weapon that regained humanity from him through love." Another phrase that explains itself. Rolo had been used and manipulated his entire life as a tool. But when he created good memories and a sincere bond with Lelouch, he started to make decisions, think and feel like a human being.

Forgiveness / Shirley: "the girl who learned to forgive thanks to love." We find another arc of revenge. Like Nina, Jeremiah, Suzaku, and Lelouch, Shirley lost someone important to her, was overcome with grief and rage, and was tempted by revenge until she discovered that the killer was the man she loved. In the end, her noble feelings prevail and her love gives her the strength she needs to forgive.

Freedom / Kallen: "the girl who embraced her freedom became a hero who fought to liberate her country and the world." This is going to sound strange, but I barely realized that Kallen is who she is because she is free due to a fanfic that featured an anti-Kallen who was in many ways trapped. Kallen is a free spirit and performs as an autonomous individual. She chooses the friends she wants (be it Britannian or Japanese), she loves the man she wants, she champions the cause she wants, she has the value system she wants. However, there can be no freedom without equality, and Kallen and her people live in a society that promotes inequality. The freedom of some (the Britannians) cannot coerce that of others (the Japanese and even half-blood like her). So Kallen works to change the world to a place where everyone has full freedom. That's her motivation to grow up and become the hero her people and the world need.

Love / CC: "the girl who only until she received love from others was able to love herself." CC's arc ties directly to Lelouch's because they both express a nihilistic philosophy. In short, CC wishes to end herself and the world (through the Ragnarök Connection) because she considers her immortal existence to be meaningless and thus unimportant. Worse still, an immortal life implies eternal pain. Something she can't live with. But she wants to be loved, because all human beings cannot live without love. It is in the nature of the human being to give and receive love. Therefore, love will always prevail in the darkest moments. So, when Lelouch offers his affection to CC, she becomes more human and renews her will to live (see how her arc connects to Rolo's arc). Let's say that she transitions from a negative nihilism to an agathonism (that philosophy that it proposes that you have to enjoy life and help to live a pleasant life).

Peace / Suzaku: "the boy who was able to find peace of mind by creating a peaceful world." Without going any further, the lever that moves Suzaku throughout the series is "guilt". Suzaku feels guilty that he killed his father, he feels guilty that the Japanese are oppressed by the Britannians, he feels guilty that he failed Euphemia in his duty as a knight, he feels guilty that he can't protect everyone… Guilt, guilt, guilt. What is the opposite of guilt? We may all think of different things, but I'm leaving for peace because Suzaku didn't make peace with himself until he got the punishment from him and when did that happen? When he made sure to create a new world with Lelouch with the Zero Requiem, in which all his loved ones could live. No wars, no racism, no terrorism, no hate. In peace.

Will / Lelouch: "the boy who twisted the will of others found the value of the will of the human being and began to dream of tomorrow." It's very ironic. Lelouch's Geass is described as the power capable of bending the wills of others to the mercy of his own. As he progresses on his journey and interacts with other characters, he realizes that human beings actively seek happiness and persist despite adversity. They doesn't give up when they falls, but gets up and continues to fight. That is what it is to be human. Arthur Schopenhauer, in fact, said that the will was the essence of the human being. But I think that the approach of Lelouch and Code Geass goes more for nihilism in its most positive aspect. The one who proposes the destruction of everything to establish new values that allow the übermensch to live in freedom. "Emperor Charles searched for the past, you search for the present. But I search for the future. […]. Because no matter how much time passes, people will continue to search for happiness. People who struggle with sadness, those who seek the future. How everyone keeps wishing for happiness. Human nature is the reason I chose Geass and wearing a mask." This is the key to human survival. This is the meaning of life and what this series wants to teach you.

If you start to examine each of the arcs, you will see that they are all connected in one way or another (after all, they are concepts that appeal to the human condition). And, if you reflect carefully, you'll realize that the arcs of our two main heroes (Lelouch and Suzaku) correlate with the extremist views of Charles and Schneizel respectively (this was something I was planning to address in a discussion on CG antagonistic figures).

I hope you have learned something or found something interesting in this post. If you liked it, don't forget to support me with a comment and/or a reaction. I would really appreciate it as that will help the algorithm.

PS: Don't ask me to come up with an exhaustive analysis of the philosophies raised in this series. Although it may not seem like it, I have a hard time handling philosophy (I don't mind going overboard like I did here).

#kallen kozuki #kallen stadtfeld #code geass: lelouch of the rebellion #lelouch lamperouge #code geass #kallen #lelouch #suzaku kururugi #lelouch vi britannia #code geass: hangyaku no lelouch #euphemia li britannia #c.c. (code geass) #rolo lamperouge #ohgi kaname #shirley fenette #nunnally vi britannia #nunnally lamperouge #nina einstein #jeremiah gottwald

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

Hey babes! I haven't done a weekly chronicle in so longgg but I have some good updates because I missed you girlies<3 Welcome to my new girliesss!

♡Education♡

The semester has officially started and so far I like all my classes. I decided to do 18 credits worth of classes this semester and I didn't realize how busy my schedule would be until last week lol. I'm trying to find a way to reorganize my schedule because babes it is a lot. I have a bunch of items I need to get a few textbooks I will try and order this week but other than that it has been very simple since it is the first full week of the semester I don’t expect them to do too much. I hope all my college girlies are doing well let's buckle in and get this semester done so we can be hot girls all summer lol. Side note there is this really cute guy in a few classes near me and I see him all the time he is soooo cute lol he's blonde and tall I had a math class with him I believe a year ago never said anything to him and I don’t plan he’s just cute lol.

♡Mental♡

I have been great mentally. So far this year I have been super organized when it comes to my goals and habits so it has made me feel secure knowing I am going down the right path. I need to pay for my refill of my antidepressants I like to call them my happy pills. They have helped me a lot these past 3 months because I remember last year around this time I was so depressed Seasonal depression affected my motivation and goals, so I didn't accomplish much. Thankfully this year is different. Also, I've been working on saying more affirmations I sometimes have a tough time looking in the mirror, especially around the time of my period but I'm constantly reminding myself I'm beautiful self-love is a continuous journey and to be patient.

♡Physical♡

I have been sticking to my diet plan! It has been working I've been seeing major results of course I have slip-ups sometimes but I get right back on and  I don't judge myself because I'm human and weight loss will not be linear. I can’t wait to reach my goal I still have more pounds to go but I got this! I've been super strict on my skincare routine and I've been seeing results with that as well my dark spots are slowly fading and I'm super happy. I recently cut my hair so I’m on a hair growth journey now. So if you have any tips especially if you have 4a, 4b, and 4c hair I'd love some tips below, and even if you don’t please share babes<3

♡Hobbies♡

My schedule has been super hectic. So now I'm trying to figure out how to organize my hobbies into my schedule but also trying to keep balance so I don't become overwhelmed. Pilates has been amazing I love the burn it's so addictive I can’t wait to get back into weightlifting in the second quarter of the year! I want to learn how to create flower arrangements so I can keep fresh flowers in my home. I'm still looking into new hobbies so I can have some excitement in my life outside of school. I tried some hobbies during the break and realized certain hobbies aren’t for me and some are. Also, I have been on it with my Italian! By the end of this year, I want to be bilingual. Every time I practice it makes me want to book a trip to Italy just to speak Italian with Italians lol.

I love chatting with you babes and want you girlies to chat back<3 so let me know what you have planned this week and how was your weekend Love you babes we are almost at 200 followers<3

#becoming that girl #dream girl #girlblogging #dream life #it girl #glow up #productivity #that girl #clean girl #pink pilates girl #self improvement #self care #green juice girl #it girl energy #becoming her #self love #soft productivity #productivitytips #consistency #self growth #routines #healthyhabits #wellness #positivity #girljournal #hyper feminine #motivation #my diary #pink blog #masterlist

[shuastars]

chemical

song : chemical by post malone, cruel summer by taylor swift

warnings : smoking

it's december 31st, so you were invited to a new year's party. you're not a fan of parties with your shy nature but your best friend really wanted you to be here to celebrate the new year with her.

so here you are, preparing for this party which, for you, is going to be catastrophic. because your best friend + alcohol = never ends well. but with her, you were always having fun. speaking of her, she arrives behind you with her silver dress and her red hair, normally smooth, was curly.

"so, what do you think of the final look ?" yunjin asks, taking a little turn on herself. "you look absolutely gorgeous, girl" i said, with a smile. "thank you, my little pookie. you look stunning by the way." she answers with a wink. i turned around to look at myself one last time in the mirror then turn around to yunjin.

"are you ready to go ?" she grabs my arm and pulls me towards the entrance of our apartment "always, pookie".

we got into her car and went to sakura's house, the one that had organized the party and a friend of mine. during the journey, yunjin did not stop singing taylor swift. she is the biggest swiftie i know.

twenty minutes later, we were in front of sakura's house, knocking at her door. she comes to open us a few seconds later. when she sees us, she smiles and pushes us inside so that we can go have fun.

the house was full of people, some already drunk. it was very hot inside, it made me want to go back outside. yunjin yelled at me that she was going to dance but when i take a look at the dance floor, there is no sign of her.

suddenly, i feel a hand resting on my shoulder. i turn around and i see seungkwan, a guy from my history vlass with whom i get along well.

"hi seungkwan, how are you ?" "good, and you ?" seungkwan answers with a thumbs up. "i'm okay. have you seen yunjin ?" he shakes his head. "shit. i knew she was going to do some shit."

seungkwan sits next to you "maybe she is outside. go take a look."

so that's what you do. when you go outside, you find the fresh air again and you take a big breath of air. but as you looking left and right, you still don't see her. you then decide to go to the front of the house. but instead of seeing your best friend, you see the guy you've had a crush on since the beginning of the year, vernon.

he's seungkwan's best friend you've already met several times and talked to him. just by seeing him, your heart starts to beat faster. you think you're down bad for him.

he is smoking weed, probably and drinking coke. he must have felt your presence because he turns towards you and when he sees you, he smiles softly. your heart beats faster when you his beautiful smile.

"hi yn. do you want to watch the fireworks with me ? it's going to start soon." you look at your watch. ten minutes before the new year. so you sat down next to him. "you want some ?" while he hands you his joint. "no, thanks." he shrugs and throw it on the floor.

"what are you doing here ?" he asks, looking at you intensely, waiting for your answer. you tore your gaze from the stars and look at him. "i was searching for yunjin." his eyes widen. "oh, i saw her with a guy when i was inside. she was going upstairs." "oh my god, i knew she was going to do that. this bitch." you roll your eyes which earns a laugh from vernon.

"i thought you didn't want to come." "yunjin forced me to come beacuse she wanted to celebrate the new year with me." "i see." vernon answers.

there's a huge scream inside. "five minutes, everyone !" you hear everyone cheering.

"seungkwan is inside if you want." "to what ?" you look at him. "to celebrate with him the new year." vernon turns to you with a serious look on his face. "but i want to celebrate it with you." you look at him, surprised by his words.

"two minutes !"

"what do you mean by that ?" vernon is getting closer to you and takes your hands in his. "you know exactly what i mean, yn." "i need you to be more precise, vernon."

"one minute !"

"i love you yn. shit, i'm so in love with you, you might get scared." vernon answers with a soft look and sparkling eyes. your eyes are widening as you take in his answer. after a lot of seconds, you manage to articulate a what breathless.

"five"

vernon smiles sweetly as he caresses your hand softly.

"four"

"you heard me, yn." he tells you

"three"

you're regaining your mind as you think at the next move you're going to do.

"two"

you lean in and vernon too.

"one"

your lips met as everyone is screaming "happy new year !" to each other. all you can think about is vernon kissing you so gently and holding you so softly like you are made out of glass.

after ten seconds, you break apart and you look at vernon with heart in your eyes.

"stop looking at me like that, i might kiss you again." "i wouldn't mind honestly." vernon hits you gently while laughing.

"anyways, happy new year yn." "happy new year vernon."

my masterlist

#vernon #vernon imagines #vernon scenarios #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group D Round 2: #D6 vs #D4

#D6: Villainess dating game isekai

#D4: Two kids join in hunting monsters and uncovering secrets

Details and poll under the cut!

#D6: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! (Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shiteshimatta…)

Summary:

Most people would prefer being the protagonist of a world full of adventure, be it in a game or in another world. But, unfortunately, a certain girl is not so lucky. Regaining the memories of her past life, she realizes that she was reborn in the world of Fortune Lover—one of the games she used to play.

Unfortunately, the character she was reincarnated into—Catarina Claes—is the game's main antagonist, who faces utter doom in every ending. Using her extensive knowledge of the game, she takes it upon herself to escape from the chains of this accursed destiny.

However, this will not be an easy feat, especially since she needs to be cautious as to not set off death flags that may speed up the impending doom she is trying to avoid. Even so, to make a change that will affect the lives of everyone around her, she strives—not as the heroine—but as the villainess.

Propaganda:

This show is so much fun. The protagonist is a lovable girl himbo, who is completely oblivious to everyone around falling in love with her. It’s a bit of a harem anime, but with equal opportunities: the girls are just as enamored with the main character as the guys are. The increasingly dumber ways in which she thinks she’s going to meet her doom (she is supposed to be the villain of the story, after all) are a delight to behold.

Trigger Warnings: Incest, Rape/Non-Con. The main character gets assaulted like two or three times, but it’s not graphic. One of these instances, where a kiss is forced on her, is by her adoptive brother, who is also her cousin, who is one of her main love interests.

#D4: Karneval

Summary:

While in search of his precious friend, a young boy named Nai falls captive to a beautiful woman, whose looks are matched only by her taste for human flesh. Meanwhile Gareki, a clever thief, is in the midst of robbing her luxurious home. After causing a distraction, Gareki agrees to help Nai escape, but they are discovered upon the woman's return. As she transforms into a ghoulish monster, the boys flee.

On the run, Nai and Gareki are found by “Circus,” a government defense agency that deals with criminal activity too difficult for the police to handle and protects civilians from “varuga”—terrible monsters that devour humans for sustenance. In the hope that it will lead Nai to his missing friend, he and Gareki decide to join Circus. On their perilous journey, they face dangerous varuga and begin to uncover the secrets behind a shadowy organization known as Kafka.

Propaganda:

Karneval has two of the best protagonists I’ve ever seen. Gareki is superior to every other teenage boy protagonist in anime. His character arc, even in this one season that covers just a fraction of the manga, is so well-developed. I like that his arc is an emotionally driven coming-of-age and not a power fantasy.

Along with the main characters, Karneval has fantastic characters across the board. There is not a single supporting character I don't love (even the ones who annoy me). None of the female characters are reduced to love interests and are all unique and interesting, which can be hard to find sometimes in anime.

It is made by a female writer, which is always great to see, and for people who aren't really interested in romance, the anime is extremely friendship and found family driven. The found family aspect is really at the forefront of the series as Circus is not a glorified group and they don't get to have families which makes the bond between members so important.

The tone balance is amazing. In one episode, you can go on an emotional journey from laughing to crying in seconds. The plot is engaging with wild reveals and compelling mysteries to follow. The fantastical world is unique with the contrast of the dark monsters in a bright and colorful world. If you watch it in Japanese, the voice cast is so good and the soundtrack is also really good.

TL;DR it’s an interesting story with amazing characters to whom you will get attached.

Trigger Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Misrepresentation of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how they’re presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

#anime #best underrated anime #polls #poll tournament #tournament #anime tournament #animation #group stage #group stage round 2 #tournament polls #group d #karneval #karneval anime #my next life as a villainess: all routes lead to doom #my next life as a villainess #otome game no hametsu flag #otome game no hametsu flag shika nai akuyaku reijou ni tensei shiteshimatta

[fatestayyuri]

Finished Ward Arc 5

I wish the interludes weren't so good so i could stop reading

i fucking hate this serial. I hate this serial so fucking much. if only it had the fucking decency to just be shit and incoherent all the way through instead of having flashes in the pan of good characters. on the flip side, the cluster interludes piss me off because they're good enough that i would make radically different posts if i post before them rather than after. the fork meatball platter strikes again

god. am i missing something from worm? if its two years after the apocalypse why can people make livings as interior decorators. why is there data but 'only' no unlimited data plans. if rations are so tight why are people talking about authentic italian sausage and fast food. i can buy cars and coffee being there because those are likely the two first things but like. they're building new skyscrapers? i mean the fact that they're building skyscrapers and focusing on fast food before housing the homeless in the tent cities could be biting commentary if like. it cohesed at all. why is all of NY and new england a single giant city. i don't get it. if there's strict caps and fuel rations why. why. why. why.

anyway my designated vicky bitching: she would be a fucking astology girl. i hate her so much. i hate her so much get me OUT of her fucking head

no lemme go back what kind of post apocalypse lets people make upper-middle class livings off of interior decorating and real estate. what the hell

anyway back to victoria 'cop' dallon. I hate her as she's written but like. I despise how the narrative is written around her. transplant her in a story where she can actually bounce her "i miss when we were CIVILIZED" about the city where nazis held power speech off of someone so they could punch her instead of just leaving it to fester in the air and i'd like her character a lot more. i don't know. he's clearly setting up themes and arcs and a journey of her healing past her paranoia but he just kind of. gets bored? is that the right word? it's frustrating.

it's poetry watching her fumble Ashley though. ashley 100% deserves better and i understand. I Understand why she blew that guy up. no notes. i love the way the villains went "ahh here comes the lecture" when victoria opened her mouth after though it was so fucking funny

the cluster though. god. the fucking cluster. they all deserve to kill rain so so bad.

the interplay of how they spiral while rain tries to rebuild and them all KNOWING it's the bleedthrough. I would eat my own organs, could you imagine?

the cluster dynamics are so good. I could eat this up all day. the interludes starring the villains are good too! I wish there was a web serial that just focused on the villains. Too bad it doesn't exist though, real shame

if ward was just the interludes it would be so good. I'm kind of dreading when they resolve the cluster because like. what else would i read this serial for. I guess Ashley and the rest of breakthrough? I'm not asking for all of them to be resolved as well as Snag was here just like. have them follow the narrative arcs. please. please tell me that the cluster is the one good thing about this serial and has a satisfying conclusion. I beg of you

#ward lb

[trans-joy-is]

When I was in my last year of middleschool (so I was... 13 or 14 years old I believe) the school organized a small party. I did not want to go because people, noise, and don't want to wear a dress because that's what women should wear blah blah blah.

At that time, I wasn't out but I wasn't really on the closet either. Like, I wasn't really aware of the word '' transgender'' and until middleschool, I never questionned my gender because I did not know I was supposed to be a girl because I was AFAB, you know ? I was like "I can' t be FtM, I'm not a girl'' 😂 [Laughing smiley]. But in middleschool my classmates started to pressure me into presenting as a woman. Ergh.

Anyway, I was almost out to myself.

Since I did not want to go to the party but my parents wanted me to go, a friend of mine said we would go together. She wasn't aware of being trans at all at that time. Her parents brought her a suit and I was wearing a trousers with a shirt I stole to my father. When I arrived at the party with my friend, she gave me her jacket. It was the first time I was wearing a suit jacket. Oh my gods, I was sooo happy. On top of that, the jacket was way to big for me so it hid my boobs. Wonderful. People stared at me but I didn't care. I was so good and sooo proud. And my friend was happy not to have to wear her jacket (she would understand that feeling a few years later after coming out). I remember people saying '' you can't wear that ! You look like a boy ! " and I would answer '' So what ? '' or '' what if I'm one'' so it' s also the first time I stood up against my harassers.

I think that's one of the first time I felt trans joy, and maybe my most precious trans joy memory. I'm happy I was able to experience it with another trans person. It was the beginning of my transgender journey, the next year I came out as non binary to my friends. I' m happy that the event that started my journey was a trans joy moment.

That party was 6 years ago. Today, I'm queerer than ever. My social transition stagnates but I'm still trans, I don't want to take testosterone but I'm still a boy, and I'm FtM and non-binary. I never talked to another FtM or transmasc person IPL or IVL but I know that everywhere in the world there are boys like me and it makes me so happy. There is a little european trans guy thinking about you, and xe are so proud of you and xe think you are really strong and beautiful and smart, and you are terrific. Xe wishes you all the best in the world. You rock.

- @queerpatoisant-e

🤍!

#this is so sweet #trans joy #trans #transgender #ftm #nonbinary #gender euphoria #transphobia mention #I hope you’re having a good day person who sent this 👋🤍🤍🤍

[sun-god-appollo]

Pour Some Sugar on Me | Billy Hargrove x Female!Reader

You can also find more of this works on my ao3

—————————————————————————

“Dammit!” I groaned as I glanced at the time on my car radio. I was late, so excruciatingly late.

Screeching into the Hawkins High School parking lot, I garnered a few dirty looks. From the blaring radio, to the roar of my Trans Am as I damn near drifted around the corner, it was still glaringly obvious that I was still the black sheep of Hawkins. 

I slowed as I neared my parking spot and let out an exasperated sigh as I noticed a blue Camaro sitting in my spot. I sucked my teeth in annoyance as I pulled into the empty spot next to it before cutting the engine, the radio going silent. Stepping out of my black Pontiac, I looked up at the boy leaning against the hood of the Camaro with a grimace on my face. The boy grinned at me, taking a long drag out of his lit cigarette before holding it in his hand.

“Nice ride.”

“That’s my spot,” I spat, my voice dripping in venom as I strode past him, “Get out of it tomorrow if you know what’s good for you.”

“Nah,” he takes another drag before kicking the cigarette out in the dirt. The male pushes off the bonnet of his car and starts to walk with me.

“Is that a Trans Am? She’s hot.”

I roll my eyes and stop to face him, he almost bumps into me at the suddenness of my action. 

Raising an eyebrow I say, “It is. You new?”

“Yep, just landed in this shithole of a town yesterday,” he grins and leans towards me, “What’s your name, doll?”

I scoff, “In your dreams.”

“Name’s Billy.”

“I don’t care,” I turn on my heel and stride off to class, “Just be out of my spot tomorrow.” 

————

I heave out a sigh as I meander my way out to the parking lot, hoards of other students taking a similar journey. Once reaching the Trans Am, I glance at the sandy-blonde boy perched, yet again, on the hood of his Camaro - only this time he’s flanked by two nitwits.

“Y/N, good to see you’re still as square as ever,” Carol says in an almost sing-song voice, clearly proud of the half-baked insult she’d come up with.

Tommy pushes past her and moves a little too close to me for my liking, “You really are a freak, aren’t you Y/L/N?”

I roll my eyes and scoff, “Tommy, Carol, it’s always so lovely talking with you.”

Not waiting for another dimwitted remark, I get into my car and slam the door abruptly. I turn the key to my car, engine roaring to life and radio blasting. I slam it in reverse and smirk, making eye contact with the blue-eyed boy who was now giving me a sultry grin. It was obvious what Billy’s type was and that he was bad news, but it was hard not to admit: he was hot. However, I would not be partaking in becoming another notch on his belt. His tongue darted across his lips before dragging his teeth across his bottom lip with a smirk. I gave him a wink before speeding off to get the hell home.

The next morning I got up early. There was no way I’d lose my spot to Hawkin’s new Ladies Man. I pull on my Docs before rushing out to my car, keys jingling in my hand.

I pull into the Hawkins High parking lot - slightly slower than yesterday, but music still playing just as loud. My good mood quickly fades as I see the same blue Camaro with smug boy duo sitting in my spot. I groan, slapping my steering wheel as I pull into the spot I parked in the previous day.

“Didn’t I tell you that you needed to be out of this spot?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t resist riling you up again,” Billy says with a smug grin.

I huff and grab my bag, storming off towards my first class.

“We should hang out sometime,”

I scoff and call over my shoulder, “Not gonna happen.”

———

Two weeks had gone by without a hitch and, better yet, no more encounters with the new Ladies Man of Hawkins. However, he was all anyone could seem to talk about, girls and boys alike. The guys talked about how cool he was and the girls talked about all the things they would do to him. It was also hard not to hear about Billy Hargrove’s quickly formed reputation: chewing up and spitting out a new girl every day.

I sighed and rifled through my locker when I heard a conversation behind me.

“Are you going to Tammy’s party tonight? It’s going to be a blast!” One girl chimed.

“Of course! There’s no way I’m missing Billy and that ass!” Another girl responded.

I rolled my eyes to myself and slammed the door to my locker. I go to move away from my locker when I catch myself before bumping into someone - that someone holding a similar orange paper the two girls from earlier had been clutching on to for dear life.

The person in front of me held the paper out to me, “You should come.”

Looking up, I realised who it was, “Billy, I’m not going to that stupid party.”

“C’mon! It’ll give me a chance to get to know you better, sweetheart.”

I couldn’t deny it, that made my heart flutter and I was sure Billy could see the blush on my face from the smirk he was giving me. He was so close to me that the mix of his cologne and cigarettes filled my senses. I snatch the flyer out of his hand and roll my eyes before walking off to the cafeteria, proud smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

————

What the hell was I doing? I thought to myself as I threw yet another dud outfit on the floor of my room. Was I actually going to be like every other girl at school and get all giddy about this stupid party? There was no way Billy Hargrove would think of anything but using me and dumping me on my ass as soon as he was done with me before moving onto the next person. I couldn’t let myself become another girl he’d triumphed.

I let out a sigh of frustration and opted for my signature jeans, band t-shirt and docs before pulling my hair up into a loose ponytail. Who was I trying to impress? No one.

Quickly getting into my car, I turn the key and blast some Metallica as I make the excruciating drive to Tammy’s party.

It was only 9pm, but there were already drunk teenagers everywhere as I pulled up into a free spot on the side of the road. Pocketing my keys, I pull my jacket around me and trudge my way towards Tammy’s house. I garnered a few dirty looks from boys and girls alike, along with a few sneers of: “What the hell is she doing here?”

I grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge and opened one before taking a swig. Hearing a commotion coming from outside, I followed the sound.

The chanting got louder as I stepped into the backyard. From the scene in front of me, it was obvious they were trying to beat Steve “The Hair” Harrington’s Keg King record from last year. I situated myself off to the side to watch and chuckled at the two idiots as the people around them cheered louder, one name becoming clearer than anything else.

“Billy! Billy! Billy!”

Billy frickin’ Hargrove was challenging King Harrington. A ballsy move, but I’ll give it to him. He had guts.

Cheers erupted as he finished off the keg, not soon after spraying people around him with the last mouthful of beer. It was hard not to admire it, the way his shirt fell open slightly and the sheen of sweat mixed with beer made his chest glow was a sight to behold. As if hearing my thoughts, he made eye contact with me and I froze. Billy grinned and pushed past everyone - who were still congratulating him - and made his way towards me, snatching a beer from someone’s hand.

“Didn’t think you’d make it, Doll,” Billy said with a boyish grin on his face. It was obvious he’d been drinking for a while.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” I retorted.

Billy leaned in close, whispering into my ear, “Well, I for one, am really glad you came.”

This made me blush redder than a tomato and I shifted in my spot nervously. God, I wished my heart would stop beating so fast. Billy leaned back to look into my eyes, his face still close to mine, and smiled an almost genuine smile. My eyes flicked between his gorgeous blue eyes and his incredibly full, pink lips before I had to force myself to peel my eyes off of him.

“Wanna dance with me?” He slurred slightly before taking a swig of his beer.

I scoffed and looked away to hide my blush, “Sure, whatever.”

Billy took my hand gently in his and tugged me toward the makeshift dance floor in the middle of Tammy’s living room. I keep my eyes trained to the floor to avoid the daggers being glared my way. Billy tosses his now empty beer bottle and wraps an arm around my waist, tugging me toward him. He’s so close I can feel his breath on my face, the scent of beer and his signature smell of cologne and cigarettes surrounding me. I awkwardly grasp onto his shoulders and finally look up at him, regretting the choice as soon as I do. His pupils are dilated and he’s gazing down at me like I’m helpless prey caught in a corner and he’s the predator here to eat me whole.

I clear my throat and glanced back down at my feet, shuffling awkwardly to the loud, god awful music that is playing.

“Hey, eyes up here, Doll,” Billy cuts the silence between us and uses his left hand to clasp under my chin, lifting my face back up to look into my eyes.

“This is so stupid, everyone is looking.”

“So, let them look,” he grins, “Where’s that tenacious girl I’ve heard so much about?”

He tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear and leans close to me, our lips just inches away from each other, “I’ve heard so much about this fiery girl that drives a black Pontiac. I’ve got to say, I’m curious.”

“Shut up, you’re just saying that to get in my pants.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” he lingers, obviously wanting to close the distance between us but decides against it.

A comfortable silence washes over us and we stay in the living room for a while before deciding to grab some more beer and head back outside. Billy pulls out a cigarette and lights it before taking a drag and offering it to me. I take it off him and inhale the bitter smoke, holding it, and letting it stream out of my lips.

“That was hot,” Billy smirks, his words sounding more slurred by the minute.

“Shut up, you’re drunk.”

He leans close to me, tucking his face into my neck and nuzzling at the spot. I shiver and nudge him off of me.

“It’s getting late, everyone is starting to head off. I’ll drive you home if you like?”

His eyes open wide and he curses, “Shit, my old man is gonna kill me.”

He drawls out a few more slurred sentences, begging me not to take him home and that I didn’t understand, his dad would literally kill him. I heave out a sigh and stand up, holding a hand out to him.

“This better not be some sick idea of getting me to sleep with you, Hargrove,” I tug him up and half-carry-half-drag him to my Pontiac, “You can crash at mine. My folks won’t mind.”

I prop Billy on the side of my car before fumbling for my keys and unlocking the passenger-side door. I help Billy into the seat, clipping the seatbelt on for him and earning a smug remark. Jumping into the driver's seat, I quickly fire up the Trans Am and peel away from the party.

Once I pull into my driveway, I kill the engine and race over to the passenger side to retrieve the drunken, blue-eyed male. If I thought getting him in to my car was a struggle, nothing could’ve prepared me for the task of dragging a drunk Billy Hargrove up the stairs of my house and to my bedroom. Why was I dragging him to my bedroom? Good question. One would think this was an excellent way to invite unwanted activities. But the risk was better than having a near blackout Billy downstairs with the freedom to roam my childhood home at 2am.

I ease him into my bed before taking his boots off and pulling the covers over him. I quickly kick off my own boots and clamber on to my bed next to him, deciding to stay on top of the covers. Letting out a sigh, I glance over at him.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, a soft tone in his voice. It was evident that having to face his father was far worse than just a dad getting pissed at a drunken teenage son.

“Don’t mention it,” I roll over, facing my back to him and pray for my heart to stop beating so fast and for sleep to quickly take hold of me

#Billy Hargrove #Stranger Things #Stranger Things Billy Hargrove #Billy Hargrove x Reader #Stranger Things Billy

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

ibiza night fever | chapter 03

pablo gavi x original female character [+18]

synopsis: to celebrate her recent freedom, sofie’s best friends invited her to spend the summer in ibiza. after four years, a tattoo and countless fights – sofie was single. she was dumped on her 22nd birthday; now all she asks for is a calm and relaxing vacation with her girlfriends – no boys allowed. warnings: age gap, alcohol consumption, smut, angst; minors dni.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Chapter 03 | I’m a ruin 

“I know I'm playing with your heart

And I could treat you better

But I'm not that smart”

The wondrous vacation continued the next day. The girls decided it would be a Spa Day. Even though they were all in their early 20’s, the chaotic alcohol driven last couple of days started to creep up on them. They needed fresh energy for more chaotic alcohol driven days. At the spa, they were welcomed at the reception with views over the sparkling bay of Cala Xarraca. They were greeted with soothing music and the scent of lavender. They changed into white robes and slippers and headed to a relaxation room. Sofie laid on a massage table, waiting for her Lomi-Lomi Hawawiian massage. Her mind immediately wandered to thoughts of her ex-boyfriend. She couldn't help but wonder what he was doing at that very moment. Was he thinking of her? Or had he slept with someone else too? They had matching tattoos. Got them a couple years ago. Not a lot of people know about it, as it’s quite hidden. Pablo probably saw it, if he paid attention. As the masseuse worked her magic on Sofie's tense muscles, she felt a sense of longing for Thomas. She missed the way he used to make her laugh and the way he would hold her close at night. But their relationship was over for a reason. He left her.

“So you changed your mind?” Chiara asked her as they were getting pedicures.

“About what?”

“Not having sex while in Ibiza. Which, let me just say, was an insane idea to begin with.”

“Oh, you know what? Yes, I did. I came here to feel good, so, fuck it. Feeling desired is part of the healing process, maybe? I don't know.” Sofie was confused, even in the peaceful environment she still couldn't think straight.

“So… I can set you up with other guys?”

“No way! I mean, maybe? Coming here and not sleeping with anyone was like a spiritual journey, but sleeping with just one guy feels embarrassing. Especially a random 18 years old who probably doesn’t even remember my name anymore.”

“Sofie, baby, I’m looking at you and I know for sure he remembers your name.”

The girls enjoyed massages, facials, and a dip in the hot tub. They chatted and laughed, catching up on each other's lives. During lunch, at the spa’s luxurious restaurant, Sofie felt the need to let go of the past and focus on the present. 

Pedri texted her in the afternoon with a nightclub address and a questionable Garfield sticker. It was an illustration of the orange cat doing a peace sign. Sofie chuckled and nonchalantly suggested the same nightclub as the girls next destination.

**

"The Electric Octopus" was known for its wild parties and eclectic music. The club was packed with people from all over the world, with neon lights flashing and the bass thumping so loud Sofie could feel it in her bones. As the crowd pulsed around her, Sofie lost herself in the music, moving her body to the beat. Still paying attention to her friends, she noticed Rebecca looking anxious, scanning the crowd as if looking for a familiar face. There was no way she knew Pedri was here, or that he specifically organized for her to come. But it was like she could feel something in the air, his presence. Call it chemistry, if you will. Suddenly, Rebecca felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Pedri, dressed beautifully in black with a mischievous grin on his face. The two friends hugged, with the man discreetly winking at Sofie, thanking her.

“Come on, we got a private booth.” Pedri guided the girls to the secluded area. The booth had a sophisticated vibe – it’s own private dance floor – plush seating, dim lighting, and a table for drinks and snacks. The place was big enough to fit more than a dozen people, and there were already a few hanging out when the girls arrived. Other young athletic men whom Sofie could only hope weren’t footballers as well, and a couple of gorgeous girls. Pablo was there too, playfully chatting with one of the girls. He didn’t look surprised to see her, but Sofie couldn’t hide her anxiety.

They all got introduced, but even as the time passed by and Sofie got more comfortable around the strangers, she couldn’t shake off the nausea of meeting Pablo under these conditions. He was clearly slightly drunk and overly straightforward with his flirting. Sofie felt small and unimportant. At some point, when Sofie got distracted with the music and their friends, Pablo sat down next to her.

“Hey.” He whispers in her ear. “You don’t get to be jealous.”

“I know, I’m not!” Sofie was blushing and Pablo was adoring it.

“You look jealous.” 

They were looking into each other's eyes, way too close. Closer than Pablo was to the other girl.

“Im not.”

“You’re acting jealous.” He’s teasing her, whispering in her ear.

“I’m really not.”

“You look beautiful.” Pablo smiles, admiring her. She really does look beautiful. “Give me your phone number.”

“No.”

“You gave Pedri your phone number, Sofie. This is ridiculous.”

“Yes, well, I like talking to Pedri. He has really nice stickers.”

“I can show you something a lot nicer than Pedri stickers.”

Sofie laughs at that and the boy can’t help but laugh with her. She shakes her head and takes her drink to the dance floor. She tries to put some distance between them. Sofie feels hot. Looking back at the seating area, the girl – Ana – is already back at Pablo’s side. Good. Good.

The room around her only makes her feel worse. Becca is fully making out with Pedri in one corner and her other friends are one drink away from doing the same with the boys they bonded. The booth feels too crowded. Sofie took the french exit and left without saying a word. Outside of the club, feeling the ocean breeze and the island’s cold 2AM weather, Sofie calmed down immediately. The noise and chaos of the club had been overwhelming, and she was glad to be out in the fresh air. On one hand, she was very attracted to Pablo and enjoyed spending time with him. On the other hand, she didn't want to get hurt again. She needed time to think and reflect, to figure out what she wanted and what was best for her. Suddenly she heard someone calling her name. It was Daniel, the yacht owner.

“Sofie, is that you?” Daniel said, grinning. “Wow, you look amazing! What are you doing here by yourself?”

Sofie smiled back, politely.

“I’m just taking a break from the club. It was getting a bit overwhelming there.”

Daniel nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I hear you. It’s crazy here tonight.”

That’s when Pablo walked out of the club. He scanned the area and spotted Sofie talking to someone. Daniel, he recognized him. They were mutual friends. Small world, apparently.

“Hey, guys. What's going on?” He approached them trying to appear casual.

“Oh hey, man!” Daniel turned to him, surprised. The three of them exchanged pleasantries, but Pablo felt insecure around Daniel, who seemed to have a natural ease with Sofie that he couldn't match. After a few minutes of awkward small talk, Sofie asks:

“So, we should get going, right?” Sofie raised an eyebrow, praying Daniel would get her cue. Luckily for her, he did.

"Right. Yes. We should get going. Sorry. mate, see you later?” He taps Gavi on the shoulder and waves goodbye.

They walked along the beach and Sofie tried to start small talk, but Daniel wasn’t having it.

“What was that about? Gavi did something to you?”

“Oh no. It 's not like that. I think I did something to him. Listen, I don’t wanna talk about it. Let me just text my friends, I kind of just dipped on them.”

Daniel nodded and waited for her. “Do you wanna go back to my place? I have some friends over, but it won’t be as noisy as the club.”

“Okay. I guess.”

“I’m not helping you for free, though. I want you to answer a question.”

“A question? Okay. I thought you were about to ask for a blowjob!”

“Girl, I don’t need to ask for blowjobs.”

“Alright…”

“I want to know about Rebecca. And Pedri. Are they together? What 's the deal?”

Sofie stops walking, biting her lips.

“Honestly? I don’t know. But I know she’s not into you. Sorry.”

"That 's okay. I’ll just settle for second place.” Daniel tries to put his arm around Sofie’s shoulder and she pushes him off.

“Hey, fuck off!”

They laugh and he looks at her as if he’s wounded.

“Please don’t tell me you’re into Gavi.”

“I won’t tell you, then.”

In the morning, when she wakes up on Daniel’s couch still wearing yesterday's clothes, Sofie gets a text. 'Pool party today! Bitch, don’t forget! - Luisa.' Sofie groans. They organized a pool party in their villa and Sofie regrets ever feeling excited about anything. There was another text, from Pedri. It was a Garfield sticker. The orange cat was wearing sunglasses and holding a floater. Great, just great.

#ibiza night fever #gavi fanfic #pablo gavi #gavi imagine

[aurirorii]

my carat journey ♡︎

sypnosis: (im sure the title makes this self-explanatory but) in which i tell you all about my first impressions and journeys as a carat. (i like summed it all up so its super short)

a/n: i havent been a carat for tooooo long but nonetheless it makes me feel pretty happy to see ive come as a carat as well as how the group themselves have grown over the years c:

how did it start.. oh right. when i first came around seventeen or seen something about them it was actually back in may of 2021 from a clip i saw on youtube i saw of them on knowing brothers. this clip was when the mcs of the show were trying to guess all of the members’ names and it was the8’s turn.

i remember watching minghao doing that flip or wtv (sorry i dont remember what its called lol) n after he was all cool and stuff. and lowk i was like ‘oooooo.. hes kinda cute’ hehe. and honestly that was kinda it.

you see, it was in 2018 i was actually a k-pop stan yk during the prime era of kpop. obviously over the next 2-4 years i had lost focus. but, when i came back, that video was one of the many i had watched on youtube about kpop. and when i came back, i became a skz fan. i remember felix was my ult bias and that was that.

but that was until i came across an episode of going seventeen. pretty infamous right? god, i remember watching that episode when they were planting rice (ver-paddy) and i was hooked. i had never laughed so much, it was like my spark had come back. i say that because when i re-entered the kpop fandom, i wasn’t at the highest point of my life. so laughing that much over one video on youtube made me so happy. that was when i knew that i needed to find out who this group was and where i can watch more episodes.

that was when i realized that the group i was watching was seventeen: the group with that one cute guy with gray hair and glasses (the8)! also when i realized that vernon was in seventeen (i knew and recognized vernon bc if his cover with jeongyeon, do i need to keep explaining? i didn’t think so).

although, when i started looking into the members, one caught my eye and it was safe to say it was not the8. it was LA boy hong joshua. idk what it was really but i thought he looked so idk— beautiful. so thats what it was for me. i started stanning the group and having joshua as my new ult bias in june 2022. sadly, over time, my interest in skz started to decline. it wasn’t that skz wasn’t great, they are, y’know how it is right?

that was how my journey started. i started listening to their music, getting into going seventeen, binge-watching like all the seventeen related videos i could find on youtube, and most importantly: going through hell trying to learn all of the members.

oh. my. god. hey, you know, it took some time, but i got there! (i always messed up woozi and hoshi) um.. anyways. as time went on, obviously i was able to experience the feeling of waiting to watch their new comebacks and such. and honestly, i don’t mean to be one of those people, but seventeen genuinely brought my spark back. i had, and still, never been so interested in something until them.

around 5-6 months later, it was in novemeber 2022 when i was pretty settled into the group when my thoughts and views started to change. i was starting to focus on new members. i honestly don’t remember at all how this started but jeonghan caught my eye. and i was hooked.

idk.. hes js so.. im sure u know what i mean!!! i mean who wouldn’t? like, have you seen jeonghan? oh lordy lord. he was so beautiful yet fine yet cute yet literally all of the above. i sound like one of those crazy fans. PLEASE GUYS I PROMISE IM NOT LIKE THAY JUST HEAR ME OUT A TINY BIT. let a girl be delulu PLS. ok now im gonna continue being delulu for a sec thanks.

i do admit i still fangirl a bit over him, just a teensy bit!!!!! (i fucking watch edits on tiktok HELP ME I HAVE A SAVED COLLECTION IN MY FAVORITES ermmmm i js want to be organized!!!! …..) please guys im just a girl.

uh. yeah! but in all seriousness, i’m so happy that i was able to come across such an amazing group. time has passed so much and it’s crazy for me to understand that i’ve been already been a carat for almost 2 years. (pls help me ive watched like every gose episode and inside seventeen episode like 50 million times each, but honestly i’ll never get tired of it).

i’m so proud of seventeen after everything they’ve gone through. watching them win their first daesang made me feel so happy for them, they absolutely deserve it. from practicing together in a small, green walled room to selling out almost all of their shows and stages they perform on, seventeen has grown so much as not just a group but individually.

i just know that if seventeen’s predebut self saw their lives now their joy would just be through the roof. as one of the most looked-upon sunbaenims in their industry, i’m sure most people can agree seventeen tops their line of style when making music.

and i’m also so glad i decided to be a carat. i love the fandom, like i can be on tiktok for hours just laughing watching carats post the funniest memes and compilations as well as making the stupidest tweets. i can very much vouch carats are one of the most funniest, supportive fandoms out there.

so yeah, that’s about it!

#seventeen #svt #choi seungcheol #scoups #yoon jeonghan #hong jisoo #joshua hong #wen junhui #moon junhui #jeon wonwoo #lee jihoon #woozi #kwon soonyoung #hoshi #lee seokmin #dokyeom #dk #kim mingyu #xu minghao #the8 #boo seungkwan #hansol vernon chwe #vernon chwe #lee chan #dino svt

[j2wiki]

2019-01-19 Jared+Gen FBlive Boston Marathon; Jared, Gen+family at Longhorns game

12:37 PM - 19 Jan 2019 @jarpad Hey y'all meet me on Gen's FB in 30 min for a livestream: https://bit.ly/2CyHUP7 RunPadsRun Jared FB Genevieve Padalecki was live. (1:14 PM CST) The cat's out of the bag! We are running the Boston Marathon in April to support The DreamBig! Foundation. We will be posting updates on my blog: www.NowAndGen.com and if you would like to join us in supporting the cause, please go to: http://bit.ly/RunPadsRun_GPFB. TeamPadalecki Jared Padalecki shared a live video.

Video: We're hiding out in our bedroom, we left out some food so the kids can fend for themselves, .. figuring out the buttons, thanks for joining us on a Saturday when you have better things to do like watch sports Jared - what did I press, now I have something on my face (two blobs) I look like a rock star in the 60s, (giggles) I don't know how to get rid of that, haha, now I have a lot of energy, haha. These are not real boogers, look, there is nothing going on, I'm gonna do the pac-man thing. Anyway we see some of you, so we wanted to reach out to you about something really important to us: we are going to be running the 2019 Boston Marathon, to benefit the Dream Big Foundation, which we are honored to be supporting, so much so we have to wake up before the kids to get out there running. We're raising money for this, which is an awesome organization that provides fees and equipment for under-privileged young ladies, my wife ..(Jared gets up because he is too hot)

Gen: Yes, I loved playing soccer when growing up, kept me out of a lot of trouble, helped me deal with stress, taught me some of the most invaluable lessons in my life, so I feel honored and privileged to be linked with Dream Big Foundation, it's totally my jam and now we also have a daughter, so pushing her into soccer and team sports, so it's an honor to run under their charity ticket, we couldn't take it more seriously, ... Jared: ... and be more grateful. So my personal training coach is young Odette, we have some fun pictures, she is hitting me hard and sitting on me, and we have a full Rocky montage video coming your way, she's sitting on my feet, riding the bike next to me when I'm jogging on the street in my beanie and hoodie, so we're going to keep you guys updated on runpadsrun.com, we don't take your contributions lightly, and nor does Dream Big, every dollar goes straight to them, we are excited and whatever you can do, whether it's a dollar, 5, it will go to help people who aren't as privileged and lucky as we have been, so we're really grateful for whatever you can do - even if you just spread the word, get involved, maybe give some time, shoutouts, it's all appreciated. We're really grateful for y'all joining us today, we'll try and checkin on a more regular basis and let you know what's going on. Gen: Check out my blog nowandgen for updates, hopefully we'll soon be using an app so we will have exercise together and ways to converse together as well. Jared: So, updates on nownadngen and if you want to contribute, go to runpadsrun, help us help some wonderful young ladies. (blows kisses) Gen: ... and next time I promise, we will figure out how to answer your questions, bye guys

Hi Everybody!

It is with incredible excitement, and great humility, to let you know you that my husband and I will be running the Boston Marathon on April 15th, 2019!

We will be endeavoring on this journey to help raise awareness and funds for a cause that we believe in wholeheartedly. Dream Big! Is a 501c(3) supporting, outfitting, supplying, encouraging and providing opportunities for young girls who, due to economic circumstances, are unable to participate. This incredible organization has provided over $200,000 worth of sports equipment, uniforms, and footwear in such sports as track and field, volleyball, soccer, double dutch, etc. The scholarship programs at DreamBig! have allowed young female athletes to attend basketball college showcases, soccer and volleyball camps, dance classes, and gymnastics lessons, and hundreds of girls attended Dream Big! Sports Clinics in partnership with local college sports teams. DreamBig! helps move mountains for young girls and this speaks to mine and my husband's hearts. As a kid, soccer was MY LIFE. I was about 6 years old when I joined my first team. In those days, it wasn't soccer as much as it was bunch ball and running around as fast as you can and kicking the ball in whatever direction you happened to be facing. But, even in those early days, before I completely understood the rules and the strategy, before the hours and days and weeks and years that I would ultimately spend on the field, I learned some of the most important and valuable lessons that I’ve carried into my adult life. One thing I learned is that you aren't going to "win" all of the time. But, I found that the lessons you learn from all of the setbacks along the way will provide the opportunity to learn what you can do to improve. There will be another play, another shot, another game. As cliche as it may sound, It’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get back up. I discovered the importance of practice, dedication, and sacrifice. I learned that the play doesn’t matter as much as the game, the game doesn’t matter as much as the season, and the season doesn’t matter as much as the experience. Most importantly of all, I learned the importance of supporting your teammates, AND your opponents, and I found out just how much their reciprocal support meant as well... No matter what was happening in the world around me, I always knew that I had a team behind my back. Sports helped me learn that I needed and wanted to work hard for my teammates, and that winning the game didn’t, and DOESN’T, happen alone. I played soccer all the way through high school and college, and I still enjoy playing it with my children. I don’t know the person that I would be if I hadn’t had the chance to learn and grow from my teammates, coaches, and the love that I have for the sport. It can take a team to push you and support you beyond what you THINK you can accomplish. I am forever grateful for the support and motivation I received growing up in group sports, and I’m thrilled and humbled for the opportunity to pay that forward, and try to help provide other young ladies with the chance to support, and be supported by, their friends and teammates. When I cross that finish line, I will have a huge smile on my face, not only because I was able to achieve a life goal, but I will have crossed that finish line knowing I was able to impact thousands of young female athletes. - Gen

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Growing up in Texas, sports were a big part of my life. I played basketball and football into high school, at which point I started to focus my time and efforts on drama and theater.

The lessons I learned from sports were numerous. I learned discipline, sacrifice, determination, focus, camaraderie, loyalty, and more. Sports are where I first learned what it was like to have a team around you to support you when you were falling, and celebrate alongside you when you were soaring. I learned the importance of being a gracious winner and a classy loser. I’ve tried to carry these lessons into adulthood, and I am able to reflect back on these lessons in my day to day life. Along the way, learned the value of “incremental improvement”. If I can learn from my mistakes and better myself, then I can be a better and more productive human being and teammate in the long run. It’s unfortunate, but also no secret, that male sports receive more attention and support from the general public. The athletes are paid more. The events are televised more regularly and on more channels, etc... I would love to take some part in raising awareness and increasing availability for girls, young and old, to learn some of the invaluable things that I was fortunate to learn growing up. Over the next few weeks, we will be sharing our story with you as we train for The Boston Marathon - one of the most grueling and demanding courses in the US. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to hurt. But it’s going to be worth it. Here is the important part: we consider you our teammates and challenge you take this journey with us. You don’t have to run a marathon, you don’t even have to run around the block - you CAN virtually train with us (we would love that!), but you can also offer encouragement and help by spreading the word about Dream Big! on social media. We only ask that you get in the mix so we can do this as a team. If you can help with a donation, please know 100% of your/our contributions will go directly to Dream Big! It’s our turn. Let’s do this... together. - Jared

Jared Padalecki updated their cover photo.

Longhorns game, Frank Erwin Center, Austin @nowandgen IGs

[lgcsoyoun]

Episode 2: Ideation + Moodboarding

ASTRID’S ATELIER EPISODE 2: Ideation + Moodboarding

This is the first time Soyoun gets to show off her designing process since she graduated from university, so she's both excited and nervous to see how this goes. She's in the comfort of her studio as she sets up the cameras for today's video.

"What's up? It's your girl Astrid and welcome to yet another episode of Astrid's Atelier! I'm glad you guys aren't sick of me yet." She winks at the cameras as she shows off the space around her.

"After I got all your votes, the most I got was for techwear, so we will be dressing up my mystery muse in that aesthetic. And honestly, you guys chose well. I can't wait to see how my lovely muse will pull this off." Soyoun winks at the cameras. "But before we can get there, I'm afraid we'll be going on a long and creative journey before we have an actual outfit."

Soyoun then pulls out the scrapbook which she uses for mood boarding. "Before anything else, the first thing I do is brainrot. As the designer, it's up to me to create a cohesive design. To do that, I have to organize my ideas and inspiration into a mood board." She then opens her scrapbook to reveal several mood boards she made back in college. "As you can see, I organized my past ideas and inspirations into a mood board so I didn't lose sight of the vision I had for those outfits. Though I tend to use digital mood boards more, some of my less tech-savvy professors wanted a physical mood board hey could touch."

Soyoun then shows all the material she already gathered for this mood board. "As with every mood board, I collect inspiration. I look at magazines, books, photos, nature, and social media for images. It doesn't matter where you find your inspiration. It's totally up to you where you find it. In fact, for this one, I turned to lots of sci-fi films." As someone who isn't a fan of the genre, Alize would know how much of a sacrifice this is for her. "But wherever you choose to find your inspiration, you should house it in one location you can easily find. It can be a P*nt*r*st or M*l*n*t* board, a notebook, an album on your phone, or in this case, a scrapbook."

Soyoun then shows off what she has so far. When the camera zooms in, the viewers can see screenshots from sci-fi films and outfits worn by female video game characters. Then the camera pans to runway outfits from designers who have done techwear, as well as photos of weapons, sci-fi aesthetics, and blurred photos of Soyoun's muse. There are also song lyrics and movie quotes to help set the mood of the outfits. Finally, sharp-eyed viewers will see blurred doodles of Soyoun's muse in various poses and positions.

After this, Soyoun fears she'll lose the viewers once things get a little bit on the technical side. "Now that I have enough research material, it's time to compile them all. I like writing down and sketching my ideas for a design, silhouette, construction, material, and color of the outfit. It's a bit more on the technical end, so I will do a separate video of that if I don't bore you." Instead, the video shows a sped-up version of Soyoun through out various days, sometimes, the venues changing from her private studio to the dorms, and sometimes even during schedules, writing copious notes and doing lots of sketches until she comes out with one she's satisfied with.

When that's done, Soyoun is seen back in the studio, standing in front of a huge corkboard as seen in those police films. "Today, I'll be showing you guys how I do my moodboards! I'm making them bigger than usual so it's fun to film. And i also like the whole vibe of it looking like those suspect boards we see on TV. You'd think we were committing a crime after this." Laughing to herself Soyoun then starts assembling her mood board with the images she found for the look. "I don't just confine myself to fashion images," she admits to the camera. "I also included materials I think I could use like leather, metal, and other things that would fit." She gestures to the part where several fabric samples are pinned, as well as a few metal chains. Even several keychains of anime weapons are displayed.

"As you can see, this techwear look I'm going for is a futuristic, cyberpunk with a hint of video-game badass female protagonist," she says with a laugh. "This is hardly my usual style, so I am curious to see how my final look will turn out."

"To see what happens next, I hope to see you in a future episode of Astrid's Atelier. In the meantime, I better clean up and head to practice, or else Yamapi will have my head!"

Chuckling, she throws in one more thing for the audiences. "While waiting to see what happens next, I am curious to see who you all think my muse is! Those who get it right will get a... uhm... I don't know yet, but I will talk about it with my muse and the powers that be known as the managers. I really gotta go now. Skrrt skrrt!"

#lgc:cyshow #msy;astridsatelier #msy;ideation+moodboarding

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (528): Sun 27th Aug 2023

ALL IN! (Clap Clap) ALL IN! (Clap Clap). Up early to get the coach down to London to attend the largest paid wrestling event ever put on: AEW’s All In. To be fair this did not feel like a seven and a half hour journey, it absolutely fucking flew by. I was sat on my own for the entire journey and I just read a few chapters of my book every hour & listened to music in between. There was a bit of an incident when we stopped at Leeds for a lunch break. Once we got back onto the coach another coach from the company that organized mine turned up and they decided they were going to put the people who were due to travel on my coach onto the other one so it wouldn't be cramped. However there was a big crowd of the new people waiting to have their tickets checked to get onto the new bus. The ticket inspector asked everyone to form a queue so that he could check them off one by one. The inspector turned to a girl who was closest to him to indicate that the queue was to start behind her and everyone obliged and started forming a queue behind this girl. Well almost everyone. There were these two guys who tried to pester the ticket inspector into checking them off first because they felt they were at the front of the queue. But the problem is you can't be first in the queue before the queue is formed so the ticket inspector told them they were not first and would need to go to the back of the line. The two men started talking over him so he placed his finger over his lips and shushed them. One of the men aggressively told the inspector not to shush him so the inspector waved them off and turned his back on them, resuming his attempts to get the people willing to queue boarded. I was really impressed he managed to stay so calm for the the entire thing as I would have been shaking like maraca. Once I arrived in London I didn't have time to check my shit into the hostel so I just started boarding the underground trains towards Wembley Stadium. Because my phone is a cunt it wouldn't let me load my tickets from Ticketmaster without Wifi so I had to pop into a local Taco Bell and order some food in order to use the WiFi, luckily the food was delicious. After securing my ticket I headed into the stadium and was blown away by how fucking packed it was. It made WrestleMania look like my list of matches on Tinder, bravo AEW. I always make sure I get an aisle seat so I'm not constantly pestering people to get up so I can go to the toilet but the problem with this is you're constantly being pestered by people to get up so THEY can use the toilet. This was a fucking tremendous show. 20 years ago when I was hearing about these two talented new indie guys named CM Punk and Samoa Joe having awesome matches on the indie circuit I never could have imagined that they'd go on to face each other at fucking Wembley. The Stadium Stampede match…doesn't work in a filled stadium, I'm sorry but it doesn't. The whole draw of it is that you can have the participants fuck off to different parts of the stadium and when two guys are fighting backstage that means the cameras can focus on them and the wrestlers in other parts of the stadium can take it easy. Problem is now the people in the stadium can see the wrestlers who aren't the main focus taking it easy and it just felt like a bit of a plunder. Getting to see Sting wrestle live felt like a childhood dream come true and he actually pulled his weight in this match but thankfully didn't do any crazy dives. Getting to sing along with 81034 other fans as Jericho and Fozzy performed Judas live was really good and the MJF vs Adam Cole match was just phenomenal and I can't wait to see how this feud carries on. All things considered AEW All In was a rousing success and afterwards Tony announced that they would be back the same time next year which I can not fucking wait for!