#you dont understand i havent read for fun in at least three years

[goldshitter]

i meant to just start rereading queen of attolia today but im already on chapter 13 😱

#queen’s thief #ru reads qt #you dont understand i havent read for fun in at least three years #i finally broke the burn out finishing rereading the thief a week or two ago #it feels amazing to be so engrossed in a book again

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

#mclennon #discussion

[levucky]

al horford sleeper agent

—————

anyway by now ive told basically everyone i care about but i had a life changing experience over the weekend. n it sounds dumb as shit but i met a real life dude who was basically a clone of nick from franz. weird hours. guess this is a thread

before we start i want to say i havent thought about franz in weeks. theyve gone away on their own finally but really i think my old obsessions just get replaced every few years and maybe it was my hard work in therapy or my new obsession with rap or

maybe it was just a realization or me growing up and maturing or something but i dont even want to work on my favorite fanfics anymore or anything. it’s just odd. i think im changing

and i don’t think about how my former favorite band members are doing or worry about them or check their socials n it feels really good. but i know there probably is or probably will be a replacement

ok that was a tangent. if they were replaced by anything they were replaced by new friends and the NBA. so there’s the exposition of this story sorted

anyway back to the weekend. the sleeper agent invited me to lunch. and that was the catalyst. god people are being so loud in here let me go to the art library

anyway i just kind of realized "huh i guess there's more out there." i went to lunch n shit. WE went to lunch n shit. stopped caring so much about my math homework. let myself be dumb and in love

that’s a very human thing. lunch. he spilled his stupid chipotle burrito all over his stupid bright green celtics jacket

he’s from italy. never even stepped foot in a chipotle. immediately clowned himself. some world we live in

we hung out all weekend. we went to lunch like two more times and we went to dinner. there was this big threat of leaving looming over my head the whole time. i made him walk like a mile on crutches and i feel very bad about it

i don’t know what’s wrong with him. it’s somewhere between a basketball injury and a chronic disability. either way that just made me feel even more emotionally attached to him. i never saw him without the celtics jacket

it was so cold that weekend. or maybe i just didn’t bring the right jacket. if he were a gentleman he would have offered me the celtics jacket. i didnt even hug him goodbye

and then of course he went back home. theres a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time. theres nothing special about me. he doesn't want to talk. i wrote my ap psych notes in green yesterday bc i was so in love with that stupid celtics jacket

im a sixers fan. the sixers and the celtics have been rivals forever. it was about to be war, except i want to move to boston. but really i want to move to dc. i wish the whole world was philly. things would be less complicated

im in love with a celtics jacket. a celtics jacket. of all teams. and i cant even talk to my basketball friends about it because they think im dumb shit for falling for some celtics fan with a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time

im not like those girls. i don’t think im like those girls. but i definitely exactly am

i have an economics test in fifteen minutes. i think one day ill drown in the atlantic ocean.

the test wasnt that bad. i thought about writing this the entire time. i would just zone out and stare and think about the phrase ‘al horford sleeper agent’

because he has to be. why else would someone put a diehard sixers fan right in front of a diehard celtics fan who looks exactly like the guitarist of their middle school favorite band

in reality i should be calling him a celtics sleeper agent because the whole point is that al horford is a sleeper agent for the celtics. but i hate al horford so i guess it’s more funny to include him in the title

i mean how can one player change so drastically like that? al horford was benched for the first time since his rookie season, like, two weeks ago after being traded to the sixers. how does that happen? why *wouldn’t* he be playing badly so his old friends win the title?

al horford’s gotta be retiring in like, three years, tops. he’s working for the celtics, i know it. and my sleeper agent is trying to convert me to a celtics fan

i understand why people make jokes, though. it’s a very human thing to want to go home. al horford just wants to go home. he lived in boston for however many years let me look it up

god whatever it was only three years i thought it was like eleven that just ruined my point

back to the matter at hand though that’s all we’re trying to do. we all just want to feel at home. we’re all just these little things trying to connect somehow. sometimes we are more desperate than others

i think im pretty desperate right now. sometimes i sit in my bedroom and im like damn when do i get to go home? but im home

i didn’t even want to leave dc. it was all star break and there wasn’t even basketball on. so there i was, in basketball purgatory, wizards territory for some god forsaken reason, losing sleep over a celtics fan and not wanting to go home

and when i say i was losing sleep you better believe me. i was so excited to wake up in the morning that i didn’t want to fall asleep. i wanted to be awake forever, endless, running through the city

i’ll get there soon enough. it’ll be with different people. college, yknow. all that. but sometimes i feel like certain things can’t be replaced.

and im acting like a different person lately. im using my phone at red lights just so i can check for a message from the sleeper agent. it’s always one word responses

yes. ok. maybe. some shit like that. a haha every once in a while. he’s not interested and i should stop trying

and then, INEVITABLY, i send something stupid back, a photo of my hand on the wheel or something, and i get left on read

and i know im stupid for it. everyone i know is screaming at me “disco, you’re dumb shit” but i just want to believe for a minute that im loved, im special

I want to feel like someone out there cares about me that isn’t obligated to, yknow? my mom can say she loves me all she wants but it doesn’t feel as good as some italian celtics fan saying it

some hot italian celtics fan mind you

even if he wasn’t hot or italian it would be nice. and actually it would be better if he liked like, ANY other basketball team

except maybe the knicks

but whatever. main point: i know im dumb shit and should stop trying. but it feels good to feel like if i keep trying maybe i’ll be wanted

sleeper agent is just one of those people tho. he’s magnetic and everyone always wants to be around him. dumb as hell in the most charming way ever. my friends are still all making fun of me

i started crying in a pizza place the other night because even the CONCEPT of italy sent me over the edge. i need to stop before i

wait what’s the word

i need to stop before i immortalize him? no, no

i need to stop before i deify him. soon enough he’s going to be a new canonical character in my head and i’ll start making up legends and stories to myself

we barely knew each other. if i deify him i’ll start telling people he offered me the celtics jacket when it was cold out. he’ll become a perfect gentleman. and he wasnt. he was just some stupid hot italian boy in a bright green jacket

im not going to deify him. it won’t happen. but i love the color green. i always say i love yellow more but i think that’s passed. i wear a green ring on my right ring finger every day. im not going to deify him and i still hate the celtics

overall, the celtics are winning the rivalry. i don’t think the sixers have ever truly been “great,” at least outside of philly. maybe allen iverson. wilt chamberlain. dr j? theyve never had like, a dynasty. idk. i don’t think you’d be able to get a sixers jacket in italy.

it’s his birthday today. i should probably text him. i should probably stop thinking about him. that’s just dumb shit, disco youre better than this what happened to a little self confidence every now and again

sure lets say external validation isnt necessary but also i think that’s something the mindfulness crowd made up to sell more planners and tote bags in 2011. it feels good to be wanted

never waste all your time on it sure. know youre still worth it even when you have no friends and there are a million girls all over his instagram comments. but it does feel good to hear “goodness disco i like how much you like the philadelphia 76ers”

my friends are all making fun of me for being on some romeo and juliet shit because he’s literally from verona and he’s a celtics fan and im a sixers fan god damn it disco why does this always happen

i never even read romeo and juliet but i saw the dreamworks adaptation so i guess ive got the story relatively right i know they die in the end. the gnomes shatter into little pieces i think

anyway tangents aside the sixers won tonight. philly is lit up green. why the hell is philly lit up green? the eagles were done like three months ago and the flyers are orange. why is philly lit up green

oh god, he just snapped me. a zoomed in photo of himself with caption that says “76ers” with like five exclamation points

here we go again, everybody

wish me luck

#writeblr #writing #original writing #creative writing #narrative #my writing #philadelphia 76ers #boston celtics #nba #just inspo lmao #also jacket boy is currently quarantined for coronavirus #just thought id add that with the news out if italy #pip pip cheerio #al horford #al horford sleeper agent #narrative nonsense #disco is my real name

[lizzodorito]

quick vent

because i legit have no where else to put this sort of feeling and just.. writing it in a book or a doc just... isnt as cathartic. Hope this just fades into the void, please dont bother reading it.

Hey. screw proper grammar and spelling I just need to get thihis out.

my name is liz and hoenstly fuck this website because last time i actively used it for something other than mandolorian memes or sims mods/cc my ex boyfriend was fucking stalking me on it and catfishing me and comfort me by sending me those ask lists and i... i dunno if im over that. Fuck you Sven.

not the point, just wha t I have to think about every single damned time I find myself here no matter what.

I am so lonely. I dont have many friends at all and the ones I do are out to use me or not Get Into It with me, thouhg fair because im a shit load of a lot to deal with i guess. other friends i have are pretty backstabbing and they refuse to properly grow up and LIVE and THINK FOR OTHERS AND ALSO THINK FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT IT HAVING TO BE DEFINED BY HOW PROUDLY TERRIBLE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IS FUCK

And then i get shit for it

love being used guys hell yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  no i dont i hate it so much literally when was the last time anyone loved me right outside of my family and even so its not like my parents treat me well. mother you may have improved drastically,  but similar to my self esteem, its still very much BELOW PAR and i hate having to witness both.

I am so lonely.

I go so long without saying any word sometimes, its a wonder i stil breath, although sometimes when i was young id forget to.

why is it that i get more depressed when i come back to the family home

does anyone else understand being family oriented to a family that really for the majority doesn’t treat you the same?

The voice in my head wont stop. it wont stop telling me all  the ways i have potentially fucked my budding friendships with my new friends isha and matt 

how am i a person who shares so little yet so much

BUT MY LORD THANK YOU these are people who... who are considerate and are processing what i am saying and are thinking of me

but how fucked up am i

and will that push them away

im often distasteful but all the same complex and layered and so useful and so interesting

and that’s why often enough it seems people dont put in the effort, or frankly, dont give a shit about me once i requrie effort, though their “care” for me beofre then was only for their own benefit.

im exhausted 

One of my best internet friends was raped and i was the one who revealed that to her and she just didnt realize it yet and i havent been able to fall asleep without thinking about it

i have needed to cry for over a week now and i haVent gotten to still i am so sad i am SO SAD

I am so charming yet cannot help being alone no matter how enjoyable i am for others to have around

Matt

He makes me question if im asexual

But I am only a human

porbably deifntieyl still asexual

but too much all the same 

Im just lonely and touch starved probably (more than usual to be clear) and want to be hugged and loved and he’s so smart and we talk for hoours and comfortably, for me, occupy eachothers’ space we talk for 

hours.

this is becoming poetry.

I feel like i am beginning to sound like a hobo johnson broken record

stop being poetic fuck off liz

he;s so 

I havent been hopeful like this in people for a long time

we went to a museum to support isha (she had to do a project that invovled socializing so ya know the inrovert crew (though i dont know fi matt considers himself one)) and we just were togeter (in rather close proximinity) just speaking in accents, partly hoping to excite the strangers crowding everywhere about “foriegners” being here at the exhibit... but i think it was mostly just for us. for our fun 

because voices is what we like to do

i love voice acitng 

he committed to it, i fell out of it more times than he did and he gets more specific with accents than i do

he likes what i do

he loves the characters and my many talents

he loves my writing

he wants me to join his dnd campaign over the summer with his friends

is it for me?

does he want... me

or just my character maggie that everyone loves

he wants me to join the campign he’s in npw with his friends, as he’s a player character and not a dm as he would be over the summer

he doesn’t quite get how lonely i am

i worry i made him and isha uncomfortable last night... i joked about actually being loved properly

he immediately looked at me strange, me not realizing the joke was taken as truth

“Liz, is there something you need to talk about?”

“Oh! Oh, well, um...” hi i come from an abusive family and you both dont realize how much it meant to me that you wanted me to come and are consitently telling me and thanking me for coming because... you’re telling me im good company and its been so long since i have had real friends or gone out with friends and ACTUALLY FULLY AND COMPLTELY HAD A GOOD TIME OH MY GOSH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW I AM SO SHY ABOUT ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HOLY FUCK I CANT EVEN ASK HOW I BECAME SUCH A BASKET CASE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW I ALRWADY KNOW I ALREADY KOW I ALRADY KNOW AND I HAVENT’ GOTTEN TO REALLY TELL ANYONE IN SO LONG WITHOUT THEM LEAVING ME 

its been so long since ive been understood by a peer

(hi my name is liz and i am weepign right now)

“No, not yet at least.”

*isha laughs and it joined by matt soon. I’m smiling comfortably. I genuinely have a soft, contented hope i might get to tell them at least some of it one day.*

“not yet at least! sorry matt you have to be at least a level 4 friend to learn the tragic backstory”

thank you isha for lightening the mood

thank you for making the joke so many people who gave less than a fuck about me got offeneded at and confused when i made it so often years ago.

my comment was laughed off, we continued to watch the critical role espidoe i had missed

soon it was just matt and i. isha was to bed.

just him and i, and i, like id been all night (concious but making the decision to pipe down and trust the people around me), was all curled up, very relaxed and off my posture, sinking into the couch. MAtt was always upright ish. sometimes hed sink a bit or rest his hips on their side curl a little rest his head, but not as intesely as i did

sometimes he’d scoot closer to me, sometimes hed scoot away. sometimes hed move his legs so our knees would touch. i dont mind (not because i was finding it romantic, im not twelve, i just am understadning of the small situation we are in and its a knee for crying out loud) i wonder if i was taking up too much space with the way i’d sit comfortaly. I wonder if he thought so.

i would be lying if i said i didnt imagine us actually having contact with eachother. cuddling platonically.. on multiple occassions.

I have an imagination that thinks of everything and so many scenarios all at once and all the time after all

i was comfortable with the idea but

it would be a bigger lie to say i wasnt absolutely and perfectly content wiht the way it did go.

i dont thiink i will ever know if he was comofrtable on that couch or more so if it was me he was comfortable or uncomfrtoable with. 

I will respect him to tell me.

he;s good at eyecontact and its comfrotable enoguh where i dont have to look away (it’s been a problem i never used to  have recently)

I’d peek up at him when he’d talk to me

i felt young again

when the stream was over he got up to leave.

i dont know if we daudled. dawdled? yep thats the word

i dont know if we did

we made small talk

shitty jokes that he declared wouldn’t be the last thing we said to eachother that evening

i agreed.

the last words that night were goodnights.

me with my raspy evening voice from a day full of talking and him with a look over the shoulder from the hall as the door closed behind him

he was obviosuly very slap happy sleepy as he was talking about the light not being too bright in the hall (to his happiness)

it was a nice night

when was the last time i went to bed so happy? thanking God over and over and praying for my friend i mention way earlier

i didnt even have to drown my insomnia with a youtube video

i just went to sleep

2 am

i hope the weather continues

- jaques cruzio, pink panther

now im just in bed

at the family home

not my dorm

fighting my depression (its been three hours, i was getting exhausted by 9:30 due to it) as i rest

i was curled in a ball, slumped and face planted, arms slumped when i decided i need to talk to someone, or say something mroe than what i vented to my little sister (small bits about how lonely i feel and how i worry ive fucked things up) hours ago

and here we are 

12:14 am

just some broken twenty something asexual with a mind that’s usually over sixty talking about the amazing people i met two weeks ago while in the background i think about the girl i used to be the boss of (online moderator work) and how she’s essentially in love with her idea of me and how i make her feel... and not just for me.

i am mysterious and cool and smart and hot and talented and useful to her.

I want to be complex and dedicated and helpful and pretty and so skilled and hardworking and wanted for me.

i want to  be considered and deserving and im hoping that isha, matt and my other two roommates can help start to fill that hole in my life

because, God, so far they have so much potential for it in my eyes

(so far)

thanks for listening, void.

actually feeling quite a bit better. the misery is still lingering, i wonder if i should cry more. But, i can breathe easier and my eyes dont feel dead. I just am tired and am prepared to enjoy things again.

proabbly will watch claire from BA make jelly beans.

or the Noel Miller guy isha told me about.

I dont know if it’s appropriate if i downloaded matt’s contact into my phone from when isha put us both in a groupchat together and i hope its not weird and i hope maybe he did the same, but by God i dont think i’ll be texting him first.

i like in person better.

with anyone.

always have

i have so much more on my mind

#me

[blankdblank]

After This Pt 2

Pt 1

Tags –

@letsbeinspiredby, @himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @admirationofarmitage, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @abiwim, @jotink78, @c-s-stars, @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf

…

Doriath bustled with confused Elves wondering what could be holding off the ceremony. Sunrise would be coming swiftly as a cry was heard, “Not without her!” For all that should have made that voice come from the merchant’s Son that had so long ago claimed you as his, the voice came from your Father’s Cousin’s only Daughter, Glawar, the young Elleth stealing the object of your affections. In a tear laced voice she repeated to her Father, “I am not marrying him without her blessing!”

Her Father sighed as he replied, “This marriage has been planned for months now, everyone is waiting. Get your circlet on the Lords are getting anxious.”

With a stomp of her foot she relied, “They can be anxious! I told you I would not marry him if she refused!”

After another sigh he replied, “One Princess!” His words echoed after her as she left her tent and started making her way through the curious crowd all looking on as she opened the flap to the tent with the waiting groomsmen and bridesmaids that all smiled at he curiously before her head disappeared again. Your best friend and former Lady in Waiting attending to your every need frantically scanned over the crowds whispering your name with silent pleas you hadn’t done what she imagined you to be planning since the news of her union broke. In the distance she spied her Brother racing up to her with a shake of his head. “No sign of her. All of her belongings, armor and weapons are gone.”

At that her lips parted and tears filled her eyes in her race to the Groom’s tent. Hastily the flap was torn back to find the young Elf standing staring at his formal attire still hanging before him. His lips parted but before he could say anything his worry filled eyes scanned over the pair and Father entering after them as Glawar stated, “Lilo is gone.”

Slowly Thranduil nodded, “I noticed her vanishing at the announcement earlier.”

Glawar weakly squeaked out, “And you said nothing?”

Thranduil wet his lips only to hear his Father state, “We should be preparing for the ceremony. Sunrise is coming.”

A shake of her head later Glawar stated to Thranduil in a broken admission, “I cannot marry you. Not now. Not without her blessing.”

Oropher, “Lady Glawar, I understand your-.”

She cut him off sharply, “You understand nothing! I have tried to explain this and I am tired of arguing with all of you!” Her eyes locked on Thranduil, “Why haven’t you said anything?! Lilo’s belongings are gone without any word of where she has fled to.”

In a frantic inhale Thranduil’s eyes filled with panic as Glawar’s Father stated, “This has gone long enough! I understand she was yours to serve but the arrangement has changed. Tuli will see to her now.”

Turning to face him she stated, “This has nothing to do with my serving her! It has everything to do with her happiness and why I cannot go through with this unless she has given her blessing!” She looked at Thranduil lost in thought again, “Why are you still silent?!”

Glawar’s Brother stated, “The guards have been informed, they will search the grounds, get dressed at least.”

Her head shook again with a huff at her intended, “I will search for her myself!” Before she could turn her Father blocked her path. “Move!”

He placed his hand on her shoulder only to have it brushed away, “Stop being selfish and get dressed!”

His eyes followed her hand that met his shoulder to brush him aside before her Brother gripped her arms holding her there as she shouted back, “I am the only one not being selfish here! You knew! You of all people knew!” She forced him away from her then looked to Thranduil, “Arm yourself we are going to find her!”

Thranduil nodded turning to grab his twin blades sitting aside to be added to his formal clothes marking his place on the guard while Oropher stated, “No one is going anywhere except down that aisle at sunrise!”

Glawar scowled at him, “You better pray I find her unharmed or I will ensure all that was done to her is inflicted on you!”

Behind him Taule, his Wife entered with a pant stating to Glawar in an equally tearful voice, “A guard mentioned he spotted her leaving armed when the dancing began.”

Another grip on her arm came from her Father behind her, “We will search, you get dressed!”

She tore free from his grip again, “Why couldn’t you allow her to be happy!”

With a sigh he stated, “What is this of her happiness? The Princess has all she requires.”

Glawar, “Everything but the Husband you are trying to force into marrying me!”

His brows furrowed, “I will hear nothing of that! You know as well as I King Ingwe-.”

Glawar, “I am going to find her and you best pray I am wrong when I do!” She pulled her arms away again in her step back adding, “Two years they have been wed! I am not marrying him if she is carrying his Child!” 

At once the air in the tent changed and Thranduil after a momentary pause and a soft broken whisper of, “What?” met her stride out into the night as their relatives raced to arm themselves and joined in on the hunt that spread through the Kingdom at news of the missing Princess. A search that would soon end as the Elves searching fled from the approaching Feanoreans.

… Back in Erebor Present day ...

In the dimly lit halls of Erebor you knelt, finally upright in your first calming breath your eyes locked with Balin’s who softly told Nori, “Fetch the younglings.”

A shake of your head later you whispered, “No. I am well enough, do not disturb them.”

At your side Thorin’s hand met your shoulder to ask, “What is wrong?”

Wetting your lips your pinking eyes met his to say, “The King, was my Husband. Last I saw him was in Doriath, before it fell.”

Dwalin, “You’re the Prince’s Amad?”

Balin, “We were told of his Wife’s passing centuries ago.”

Your head shook, “His second Wife, my distant Cousin carried Legolas.”

Thorin’s eyes scanned over you asking, “What of your Daughters? What would you wish us to do?”

Your eyes scanned over to the young Princes on their path down the stairs saying, “Something’s happened to Thranduil, he’s collapsed.”

A tear streamed down your cheek and you forced yourself to your feet “I will speak with them. They will want to meet him.”

Ori wet his lips, “I’ll keep an eye on the King. Make sure he stays.”

Balin glanced at him, “I’m certain Laddie, if he’s not met them there’s no chance of him leaving without doing so.” His eyes met yours when he stood as well, “I take it you told him about them? Why he fell?” You nodded and turned to go up to the Royal Wing.

.

Slowly you walked up to the Royal Wing as the Dwarves stole glances at the kneeling speechless Elf King. The eyes of your Children landed on you as the eager gazes from your Daughters landed on you catching your weakened smile in your walk to the kitchen. Wetting your lips you leaned against the counter beside them as Nin asked, “Ada is here?”

A nod was her answer before Niph asked, “Our Brother too?”

Softly you stated, “Yes.”

Red, “Is the King upset?”

“He is stunned it seems. I am not dead, and he is going to be a Grandfather.”

Rin, “It is quite an amount to learn at once.”

Nin wet her lips and inched closer to you smoothing her hand over your bare lower arm under your rolled up blouse sleeve asking, “Are you in pain?”

You forced another weak smile at them, “It has been ages. Simply a shock to see him again. Even with him being announced.”

In the distance a soft echo of a howl was heard and Red stated, “That would be the Wolves.”

You nodded and eyed their eager glints trapped in their eyes, then said, “Why don’t you finish breakfast, we’ll let the Dwarves and Bilbo eat, I’ll fix up our sitting room for a tea. When the Wolves arrive I’ll invite your Ada inside.” Giddily they prepared the breakfast the curious Dwarves came up to enjoy before their break to split leaving Thorin and Dwalin remained behind so the others could rest in their rooms. Their two toughest remained up to reinforce your place in charge of the meeting they knew to be taking place.

..

On his knees still the Elf King sat as another howl sounded nearer to them making their eyes turn to the Southern stretch of forest with a growing line of Wolves grew closer to Erebor and the curious group of Elves inching into a wall around their frozen King. Nearer and nearer they came without any sign of shrinking, what they assumed to be normal Wolves grew to three times the size of their distant kin reaching five feet at their backs for the smallest. Dryly the Elves swallowed gripping their bows until they flinched at the sound of the gate opening again to what they hoped would be their saving grace. Eagerly they tried to urge the King up again only to glance at you, the same Elleth that had brought their King to his knees appearing through the opening once again.

Nearing the group Legolas rushed to your side asking, “Would King Thorin allow us shelter?” His eyes scanned over to the approaching Wolves.

“They wont harm you. I give you my word.”

His eyes scanned over you and he asked, “Who are you? Ada wouldn’t say.”

“My name is Lilótëa Ingwëon.”

His gasp halted your words, “Ada’s first Wife?”

Your lips parted and you softly asked, “He told you about me?”

Legolas shook his head, “No. I read your name from the records. Naneth mentioned her Cousin she served a few times, and that you fell when Doriath was attacked. There was no name for my elder Sibling.” He paused for a moment then asked, “You mentioned a Grandchild?”

You nodded feeling the mournful King’s eyes landing on you both as you stated, “You have two elder Sisters.”

A smile lit up his face before it dimmed for a moment and he asked, “Did you know, when you fled about them? Ada never mentioned-. Naneth, no one speaks of you or your Children. How did you know me? And you never came to visit us?”

With a sigh you replied, “Our history is complicated, and my decisions have led to this predicament. Your Ada and I were married for barely two years. It was never public, the match would not have been approved. Your Naneth, before I left it was announced they were betrothed, it was all arranged by our families.”

Softly he asked, “You left?”

Tearily you replied, “Glawar, she loved him, and did not deserve to be humiliated by my announcing the secret union. Your Ada did what he could to honor his agreement to the union, including trying to stop seeing me as his Wife.” Legolas’ lips parted, “For how this sounds, I assure you, your Ada had no choice, My Ada would never allow me to marry the Son of a Merchant, One or not.”

Legolas, “So you left…But your Daughters?”

You released your lip after a quick nip at it through your glance at the tear stained King listening to you both, meeting the Prince’s eyes again, “I never told him. I’m not certain how he found out, I didn’t wish to complicate matters, and by the morning after I left the city was up in flames. I had no idea, until word spread of King Oropher’s passing that any of you were alive.”

His head turned to the wolves now halfway across the plain, in a steady trot, again before he looked back to you, “Where have you been all these years?”

“Fangorn.”

At once it dawned on him, “You’re the Wolf Queen.”

You let out a weak chuckle, “That is what I am called by some. I still prefer Lilo though.”

He nodded then eyed the mountain asking, “My Sisters?”

“They are preparing a meal. You look hungry, would you care to join us?”

He nodded, “Yes I would.”

You turned and crossed to the King whose eyes followed your path with parting lips for words that still ceased to sound as the Elves around him bowed their heads to you greeting you as their Queen much to your irritation from their listening in. Firmly you gripped the chest plate of protective armor before you and helped the unsteady King to his feet before your head tilted slightly before you stated, “You’re taller.”

He nodded, then cleared his throat, “Growth spurt, after.” Another tear rolled down his cheek, weakly he asked, “Daughters?”

“Ninquelótë and Niphredil.” Thranduil nodded and wet his lips uncertain how to ask his next question, “And yes, they married well.” Unable to help it he let out a breath in relief.

Legolas asked, “Two of your guards?”

With a weak chuckle your eyes shifted to Thranduil and you nodded your head to the Mountain, “You’ll see.” Making the Prince’s brow twitch up curiously in his bend to claim his Mother’s jewels you had gifted her for their wedding and joined the others in walking to the open gate after you had turned to lead the wobbly King following you. His aching heart easing slowly at being in your presence again. In the gate you motioned your hand to a nearby bath saying to Thranduil, “You should clean up first.” He nodded his head and joined Legolas in washing up while you eyed the approaching wolves. Within minutes they had reached the gate and eyed Thorin and Dwalin curiously under their heavy armor.

Their leader bent forward allowing a weakened Dwarf off his armored back as he growled out, “We found this one in the abandoned keep.”

Eagerly the Durins embraced and led exhausted Thrain up to the Royal Wing to be bathed and fed while the Wolves entered, following after with their small carts of supplies they had brought for you all. Each peering around pleased at the large keep and eager to wiggle free from their armor to rest from their long trip in the Royal Wing.

.

With his face freshly washed Thranduil exhaled and joined the whispering group of guards near you with a softening eager expression in his struggle against bursting into tears at the confirmation of Glawar’s assumption he painfully hoped to not have been true. Ages he imagined the family you could have had, his finding you and somehow melding into having Legolas melding happily into the imagined moments. For all he wished to be yours always, for them you had fallen without a trace, time passed and as the first age ended he finally honored his betrothal to Glawar, who had remained with Thranduil in hopes of still somehow finding you some day while easing the painful ache of her unrequited love for the new Prince.

The title only worsening the pain at his finally being of a worthy title for you after having lost you, but over time his friendship with Glawar grew to an affection and his poor mangled heart imagined in some stolen angles from the side she could be mistaken for you. Not unknown to her he settled for his last connection to you, one who shared the pain of your loss and always upheld you union respectfully.

Duties were fulfilled, the union was consummated and washed clean in shared sobs at their joint betrayal before the rest of the night was drowned in wine until the pair were rendered unconscious. Waking only to a throbbing migraine that did nothing to dull the pain in their hearts. Her one sided love and his kindness was enough, one season later the news was spread of an heir, bringing a relaxed unspoken agreement to not break his vows to you again. Fully knowing they could not survive the weight of another heart wrenching night of drowning their regretful act or the hangover the morning after, each time worse than the last but duty barked at them loudly until they had succeeded in their task. A small Prince freed them from the cruelty they imagined to be inflicting on you, and somehow always flinched at the thought you were aware of it.

The sobs from you could be heard with each act completed as if you had caught them, as friends they lived until mistake word of the King’s death had spread. Word that did not reach Glawar in time before she had fled. The guilt was too much, to the Blue Mountains she fled towards the Grey Havens, there she would find you, there she would sail. In Vanyar or down to the depths of Mandos’ Halls she would find you and spill her every betrayal to you, pleading eternally for the forgiveness she deemed herself unable to deserve. Her penitence was clear, the bundled Prince was left in the arms of his Grandmother, Elanor, for all she did she could not take another Child from her greatest love.

.

Behind you Thranduil widened his step to meet your side to ask, eyeing your pain masked in a stoic expression, “They have known about me?”

You glanced up at him giving him a nod, “Yes. They deserved to know who their Ada was.”

“You told them, everything?”

“They know it was my choice to leave and you did what you deemed best to honor the agreement when I learned you were still alive and wed.”

“I had assumed-.”

“I would rather let the world and my Children imagine me a selfish whore than raise them to hate you.”

His eyes shot to you as did those of the Elves behind you, his hand rested on your shoulder for a moment, “You are nothing of the sort!”

Legolas, “Right, you were wed.”

“You were alive, had remarried, I was no longer considered a widow.”

“Why, did you not send word, sooner? When you knew?”

In another glance up at him you replied, “How do you fit it in a letter? Six thousand years, and then a letter is supposed to mend things?” In a glance at Legolas behind him you asked, “Glawar sailed?”

Thranduil shook his head, “She left when my Father fell, we found her carriage on our return home, it was attacked.” Silently he clenched his jaw at the tears filling your eyes as you looked forward again making him do the same. “Her Brother, however managed to sail safely the year prior.”

You nodded, “Your Naneth, Taule?”

Thranduil drew in a breath, “She is well, rather frightened by news of Smaug awakening.” His eyes scanned over the side of the bridge you led them across to see the dead Dragon’s body below with a familiar style of spear you trained with alongside your kin before he noticed the head lying a good five feet from the start of his neck. “Would you allow me to send for her as well?”

You met his eyes, “I would have to ask Thorin. My pack found Thrain in the Southern Wood. It may be a while, they are cleaning him up.”

Thranduil nodded, “Of course. I will write to her at least.”

You drew in a breath, “You catch up, we can write after.”

Thranduil, “Thorin will allow us to stay for a time?”

On his right Thorin came into view, “You will be welcome as long as Queen Lilo and the Princess’ are comfortable.” Unwilling to refuse lest the Elf King steal away with you and lock you away from the world.

Thranduil nodded, “Of course. I heard of your Father, should you require a healer I will send for mine.”

Thorin nodded then stated, “Your Mother is welcome as well, if you wished I could write to her, I will keep the details brief and leave it to you. Simply state you require supplies and her presence here.”

Thranduil nodded, “Thank you.”

.

The golden parted doors to the Elven apartment beckoned them through, all eager to see the long lost Princess’. Through the apartment the group walked until they passed through another doorway bringing a set of mirror images of you side by side quietly chatting about how to fold the napkins they had found they both tossed onto the chairs behind them along the wall with smiles flashing on their faces when they noticed the new arrivals. Their hands smoothed over the ends of their blouses under their embroidered vests they were gifted in Rivendell before their hands wove together in front of them in glances between Legolas and Thranduil both staring at them seemingly in awe. At once their eyes shifted to the doorway of the kitchen allowing the twin Princes through with the tea and sides to add to the table.

An audible gasp came from Thranduil who caught their smiles at him and shallow nods of their heads to the familiar face in the group as you moved to the table. The men stood by their Wives as Thranduil softly uttered, “You found the Princes.”

You nodded and stated their names to which they nodded their heads, “Niph and Nin, and their Husbands Red and Rin.”

Legolas glanced between them then stepped closer saying, “I am so elated to know you’re safe. It was recorded you’d fallen with Doriath.” His eyes scanned to their Husbands with a quizzical inspection of their likeness to Elrond.

Elured, “It is an honor to meet you. You obviously know our Nephew, Lord Elrond.”

Legolas’ lips parted slightly as Thranduil moved closer joining his Son’s side taking in each detail of his Daughters before him that he could through their own quiet inspection of him, “It is an honor to see you again Your Majesties. Have you met with your Nephew?”

With a smirk Elurin replied, “Yes. We stopped in Rivendell along the trip, his Children and Father in Law were quite in awe. Requested to visit again soon.”

Thranduil glanced at you then back to the Princes before Elured added, “Besides, no need for titles from you now, not since you outrank us.”

Thranduil’s head turned spying the two largest Wolves pass the open doorway to your room to spread out beside their Brothers around your bed relaxing in the warmth of the roaring fire place then back to you again. “You did not send for your guards?”

Your head shook, “We live alone with our Wolves. Rumor is enough to warn off a great deal of intruders on its own.”

Thranduil repeated, “You live alone? How many have left your lands? Thousands are thought to live in Fangorn under your rule.” His brows tightened in confusion.

“Just us since the First Age.”

His eyes wandered to the girls, “Then who-.”

“Prince Amroth and a group were passing through to Lorien when I went into labor. He had two healers with him. Led us to our cave and remained until the morning after ensuring we were healthy, left with his word that we would be welcome in Lorien, should we have wished to move.”

Elured, “After Doriath we enjoyed the silence and protection of our solitude. Besides, word of Feanoreans dwelling in Lorien kept us away.”

Thranduil softly muttered to himself, “Galadriel.” To which the boys nodded before you eased your chair back and moved to pour the tea while Thranduil sat beside you with Legolas on his right with the twins.

With a smile Nin asked, “Naneth mentioned you’re staying for a visit?”

Thranduil and Legolas nodded, with the King saying, “Yes.”

Legolas, “King Thorin is writing to Gran as well, she should be along shortly once our things are packed.” His smile inched wider, “I know she’ll be thrilled to know she has Granddaughters. Grandsons are wished for by many, but Granddaughters are prized.” He paused for a moment, “Plus, congratulations, are both of you expecting?”

Niph nodded with a growing smile peering across at Thranduil as you poured the final cup of tea then took your seat and the Elven guards sat in the chairs along the wall as she said, “Yes, both of us.”

Legolas chuckled softly, “Gran will certainly be pleased. I wonder if you’ll have twins as well.” Making you giggle softly drawing the King’s eye with a pained glance at having not seen your smile in so long or heard the laugh going along with it.

Nin looked at Legolas, “Do you like it in Greenwood? Elrond stated it isn’t like Rivendell.”

Legolas smiled and nodded, “It is different. Though lately we’ve had a Spider problem, but overnight it seems they’ve vanished a couple weeks back so it should be plenty safe should you wish to stay with us. I could show you all the best hidden spots.” He wet his lips, “We do have the annual Feast of Starlight in a couple weeks. Celebrate properly.” A hopeful smile grew on his face mirroring theirs while Thranduil eyed your saddened glance at your raised cup of tea for a sip guessing this feast was purposely used to mark your birthday he had managed to set up moonlit dinners for you both to celebrate off on your own back in Doriath. Through your sip he watched you then glanced at his Daughters at their soft giggle matching yours as they asked, “It wouldn’t happen to be around the 14th, would it?”

Legolas chuckled weakly replying, “14th exactly. How did you guess it?”

They chuckled again, “It’s Naneth’s birthday as well as ours.” At once Legolas’ smile froze for a moment then it grew, realizing his Father’s silent marker for you in their lives.

Legolas chuckled again, “All the more reason to celebrate it with us this year.” Making their smiles grow as Thranduil nodded after another glance at you while his hand struggled not to drop and cover your left as it rested on your lap through your nail smoothing along the seam on your pant leg.

#Thranduil x Reader OC #Hobbit #lotr

[the-desolated-quill]

Luther 5x01 - Luther blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Can you remember the last time I’ve written about this show? 24th December 2015. Feeling old yet? Back then I was lucky if my reviews got two notes. Now I can get as many as thirty. Goodness me, I’ve gone up in the world XD

If you would like to read my reviews of the previous episodes... well... I’d rather you didn’t if I’m honest because they’re not very good. I was still finding my feet as an amateur critic/blogger/moaning old fart at the time and only had a vague idea of what I was talking about. I can give you a quick summary of my views on the show. I love it for the most part. In recent years it’s become almost trendy to take the piss out of it due to its over the top villains and gratuitous violence, but that’s always been part of its charm for me. But above all, what puts Luther head and shoulders above most other crime shows for me is the title character. Writer Neil Cross has created one of the most compelling and morally complex characters I’ve ever seen and Idris Elba brings him to life expertly. As horrific and ludicrous as the crimes and plots usually are, it’s DCI John Luther that keeps me coming back for more.

Luther has always been more of a horror show than a crime drama and the first episode of Series 5 is no different. A masked killer with LED lights on his hood to confuse CCTV cameras, (which makes him look a lot like that ghost astronaut from Scooby Doo), is roaming around London, sneaking up on unsuspecting strangers and hammering nails into their bodies because that’s the only way he can achieve an orgasm. Oh yeah, and he also has a jar of eyeballs in his sex dungeon because of course he does. The villains in this show can be many things, but subtle isn’t usually one of them. At one point newcomer DS Haliday asks Luther if this kind of depravity is normal for him, which made me laugh. Any Luther fan could tell you that this is just an average Tuesday for him.

No other show can get away with this kind of grotesqueness, but in Luther it just works. It revels in how insane and weird it is. It’s not a question of whether or not it’s believable (because let’s face it, it bloody isn’t). It’s a question of whether or not it’s scary and it absolutely is. Jamie Payne’s direction really helps to up the creep factor and the concept itself is just inherently icky. By far the most terrifying scene was the killer creeping up on that woman on the top deck of the the night bus, almost panther-like. What made it scarier for me is that the scene was actually filmed near the Olympic Park in Stratford, which is close to where I live. Seeing a psycho wandering around areas you’re familiar with is disconcerting to say the least.

The episode also does a good job of piquing the audience’s interest and building intrigue. Hermione Norris is captivating to watch in her role as Dr. Vivien Lake, who claims to know who the killer is, but there’s clearly more to her than we think. Luther notices straight away this isn’t a normal patient/doctor relationship and we the viewer know from the outset there’s something not quite right about her. It goes beyond her empathising with the killer. She seems to have a degree of control over him, which makes you question whether she is playing a part in these murders, perhaps for her own sexual gratification. Even the reveal at the end that the patient was just a patsy and that her husband is the real killer doesn’t give away everything. I feel there’s a lot more to unpack here with this relationship and this character, and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds in the next three episodes.

The main cast are pretty good. Idris Elba is predictably brilliant, stepping back into the tweed coat and red tie with little effort. Dermot Crowley and Michael Smiley return as DSU Martin Schenk and Benny respectively and both are great fun to watch. Benny in particular plays a more active role this time, no longer being just the stereotypical computer guy and instead taking part in the action, helping Luther to remove a bomb collar from a hostage, which was cool. The weak link is probably DS Catherine Haliday, played by Wunmi Mosaku. She’s set up as the newcomer, being fast tracked to the Serious and Serial Crimes Unit from the public sector, but she doesn’t really have that much of a part to play. Luther barely even acknowledges her existence most of the time. There’s none of the Batman and Robin-esque camaraderie that Luther and Justin Ripley had in the first three series and she’s not as interesting as Emma Lane was in the previous series. She just... exists. Hopefully she’ll get more to do as the series go on.

Another actor who’s wasted in this episode is Patrick Malahide, returning from Series 4 as ‘old school’ gangster George Cornelius. Actually this is something of a recurring problem for Luther. The first series I remember fondly because Neil Cross kept everything simple for the most part. Each episode was about a different serial killer and how Luther was going to catch him. But from Series 2 onward, everything started to get needlessly complicated with B plots and C plots and side stories and so on. I can understand why they’re doing this. Idris Elba and Neil Cross aren’t as readily available as they used to be so when they do find the time to make more Luther episodes, they want to cram in as much material as they can to make up for the long wait by fans. I get it completely, but it comes at the cost of the narrative as a whole. Vivien and her sexually deranged husband is an interesting plot in and of itself, but we keep getting yanked away from it in order to deal with an entirely separate plot about George trying to find his kidnapped son. George isn’t a bad character, don’t get me wrong. Malahide does a great job in the role, but you can’t help but feel all of this is a bit pointless. Why should I care about this guy? He’s a cockney arsehole who tried to assassinate Alice Morgan (the most popular character in the show) for a bunch of diamonds last series. Fuck him. At least now that Alice is back, we can hopefully see her exact her revenge on him.

On the whole, a solid start to the new series with a lot of potential going forward.

#luther 5x01 #luther #idris elba #neil cross #bbc #review #spoilers

[jyelynnn]

☁️☁️☁️

1.if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? Be Quiet and Drive by Deftones

2.have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? Hmmm.... Not exactly...

3.three songs that you connect with right now. 

Stand Still by Sabrina Claudio, Go! by M83 and Lose Myself by K?D

4.would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? honestly thooo lol

5.have you taken someones virginity? Hell No.

6.how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

7.if you could, would you take back your last kiss? No :)

8.who would you like to see in concert? Deftones

9.what was the last concert you saw? Incubus

10.would you ever want to swim with sharks? Honestly, I love sea life. I would!

11.do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes, Growth is beautiful

12.what was the last thing that made you laugh? Myself lol

13.a song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? Anything by Slayer

14.have any pets? Yessss. A husky, A Blue Pitbull, 4 Butterfly Koi fish and im looking a leopard geckos.

15.do you want to have kids? How many? Fuck no. Not now!

16.do you have piercings? How many? I have 9

17.do you miss anyone from your past? Fuck No. They were all trashed for a reason.

18.what are you craving right now? Apple Pie :)

19.have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes, Not on purpose.

20.have you ever been cheated on? YES. A LOT.

21.have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? NO.

22.do you believe in true love? Yes <3

23.favourite weather? Rainy!!!!

24.do you like the snow? Yes!

25.do you wanna get married? Oh hell yes!!!

26.is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? It’s the best thing ever!

27.what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? You don’t want to know lol

28.go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! There is no sound in space

29.what’s your favorite pasta dish? Cajun Chicken and Shrimp Pasta. havent had it in years tho.

30.what color do you really want to dye your hair? Honey brown... 

31.what’s your favorite eye color? Brown or Green

32.talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Any Tokidoki bag I have.

33.are you a morning person? Fuck No.

34. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I loved going to haunted places but I don’t think thats weird

35.what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My black converse lol

36.what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love all socks! especially the big fuzzy ones :)

37.tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. The only crazy stories i have after 3AM are either about ghost hunting, the beach or in the mountains... or in LA. and they are all probably illegal as fuck or evidence lol

38.do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I hate coffee so no.

39.who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? awww! My best friend Chubbs! 

40.what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I was a fearless child! It was only when I graduated high school I started to fear things.

41.do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I miss it so much. I miss the broken cases, thick ass CD cases and random disk all over my room lol

42.think of a person. what song do you associate with them? .... AHHH!! Anxiety!!!!

43.what are your favorite memes of the year so far All of them lol I laugh at stupid shit lol

44.do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I love poetry, Any spoken word by Jordan from La Dispute

45.what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? No gift is stupid. I appreciate all gifts and I don’t give halfass gifts

46.what are some of your worst habits? Holding back... Being lazy.. Being shy

47.describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. AHHHHH!!! ANXIETY!!! lol

48.tell us about your pets! They are all adorable, fun and loud as fuck... even the fish :)

49.is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Sleeping lol I have work in like 6 hours lol

50.are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? dontgiveafuckclub

51.what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My bro bought me flowers for my 30th birthday :) 

52.describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. ......... Didn’t I tell you i have anxiety? lol

53.what’s some of your favorite album art? Deftones!

54.are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yes! but i’d like to keep them a secret. They are big ones ive been drawing for  years

55.do you like concept albums? which ones? sigh...

56.what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? ...... The hot chick :)

57.list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

58.if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Dayyyummmm... Thats a good one.. I’d probably go into the future :) I’m excited for my future because everything has been so amazing. The past is done and i dont want to go back and make shit worse.

59.what do you do when you’re sad? Eat lol

60.what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? listen to music, Play Video games

61.what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Any night by the beach :)

62.who is the last person you told a secret to? Chubbs!

63.what’s the best piece of advice you ever received? Rejection Is God’s Protection

64.what’s your favorite food? Sushi

65.what’s your secret dream? It’s a secret ;)

66.three songs you were recently obsessed with. 

Too Young by Post Malone, Metropolis by logic, Telegraph Ave by Childish Gambino

67.three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

68. three favourite old songs 

Be Quiet and Drive by Deftones, Youve Seen The Butcher by Deftones, I Wanna Be Adored by Stoned Roses

69.three last songs you listened to 

Everything is Wrong by Interpol, Slow Down by Louis The Child, Able To See Me by Hippie Sabotage

70.worst possible time to get horny. uhhh.. I dont know

71.have you ever had a friends with benefits? Yea, not worth it.

72.do you believe in soulmates? Yes :)

73.Is there anyone you would die for? No.

74.whowas the last person you cried in front of? I honestly don’t remember.

75.do you give out second chances too easily? TOO EASY.

76.is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive.

77.is this year the best year of your life? Nah, It wasn’t bad though

78.do you have trust issues? Yes. not proud of it but just being honest.

79.who/what was your last dream about? Aliens like always :)

80.would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes... If I could go back knowing what I know now, I’d swerve on like 95% of the people I used to know and not give up on my art career.

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

#acid.txt #this took a while but :wahoo:

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakusquad #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha deku #mha fanfiction #mha todoroki #mha fluff

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

#WOW THAT TOOK LIKE THREE HOURS HAHA #hopefully next time it wont be as long!! #daveanswersstuff #long post

[ace2light]

felt so down..

i wanted to talk to people so badly. by people, i meant those whom i am close with. super close with, esp him. i do have ppl whom are extremely close to me. but i dont dare to approach them due to as follows: 

poon: he is with his friends, he wont have the time to entertain me also, well, there were times i couldnt control myself and texted him, i got a single word ‘ok’, i know where i stand, i backed off. i switched off my phone literally. idw to have more disappointment in my alrdy bad and sad mood. rather than unknowingly text him and anticipate he would at least ask how i am. i rather not meet with such a disappointment. well if he knows that i am really trying my best to cope with my feelings and thoughts, he would auto read this without me telling him. cos if i dont spam him, i go to insta, if i dont go to insta, i come to tumblr. these are the ways i penned down how i feel and what i think when there is no one to talk to me, no one whom i can chat with. 

steph: in gasglow, i dont want her to be burden with my issues. she will know when she returns when we catch up anws. 

chanel and jiawen: we are drifting apart. they are the ppl i joke ard with but no longer the ones whom i find to rant about. as i always hang out with poon, i dw them to feel i treat bf more than i treat my bff. i dont want them ti feel they are spare tyre. 

sheena and sam: i scared i make them feel overwhelm with my issues. plus sheena is no coping well alrdy, idw to add to her problems. 

mum: she no longer is my close listening ears. i nvr tell her many things, in fact, i nvr say much about myself anymore, except rant about dad to her. other than that, nth. idw her to worry about me, esp my studies. i didnt tell her i wasnt coping well in school lately also. she’s too busy dealing with my dad anws. 

dylan: he is a gd friend, but then i am not comfy telling him too many things. 

xx: i lose the position to rant to him. before i got into a relationship, he was always there when i was feeling down. be it normal classes whereby i am feeling sad or stress, he will buy me oreo (altho he say his house got unlimited supplies, so many times, he think i believe meh). he can chat with me for the entire night when i was feeling so lost about some issues in the past. he takes care of me like a little sis. often he is the one who can notice i am sad and try ways to make me happy. i always treated him as my bro. he is like my younger/older bro. because of many reasons, i distant myself from him. i dont want poon to be jelly about xx and me, neither do i want to make xx feel sad, so the best way is to distant from him. 

it has been long since i felt like cutting myself. thankfully that feeling happens when i was on a cab, i have no access to pen knife. if not idk what would happen to myself. honestly, i just wanna just rot in bed tmr, i dont feel like meeting anyone, but cos i promise alrdy, i have to appear.. 

it is getting worst, i overthink. i overthink in my sleep also. idw to. idk how to tell my brain to gimme a break. i really wanna break free from overthinking. i even woke up from a worst case scenario about poon me and my parents. i was awaken by this dream today, it scares me but i didnt share with him. 

what i feel now. towards poon. yes, i am his gf. apart from saying ‘i love u’, he technically did nth thru out the entire day i was down. i understand that he is with his friend. but i am feeling too low to even be considerate about it. at least, talk to me abit? make me feel a bit btr instead of just ‘i love u’? i know u love me and you mean it, but in times of this, too much of such phrases makes me feel i am not impt. i am just a person whom you have to say ‘i love u’ to a few times a day. for so long, i havent felt so lonely on terms of texting. i am a heavy texter to ppl whom i am comfortable in. he is one of them. i always felt a bit sad that when i am awake, he is asleep, why cant fate let him have a normal sleeping time? i really wish he was at least awake to text me when i am on my way to school or in school.. yes, he blame me that i didnt call him up or wake him up, but certain things, it doesnt comes from me, it takes his effort, not just mine. i mean if a person is asleep, what for wake him up for a casual chat esp when the reason is i am bored? this is so unreasonable. 

just ytd issue. btn poon and me. when i started to put in more trust in him, he shakes it again. i trusted him to come meet me with monster also, in fact, i anticipated that, that was the encouragement i told myself, the only reason that keep me awake. the thought of my bf visiting me and delivering a drink i needed so badly that day. end up, he did come (make me feel i am his priority but i was guilty). before that, i was comtrolling my temper not to rage at him. honestly, what does he mean. well if i was in his shoes, it is very simple. come to the gf then meet his friends afterwards. cos he promise the gf to come alrdy, but didnt promise the gf to wait for her after her test. what was promise first should be carried out, what is so hard about it? for me, personally, whoever i made a promise with first, i go with the promise first. unless that person is fking impt to me, which is him, whenever he wants to meet last minute, i have to push some of my plans away just to meet him. i really hope he knows it is hard for me to lie all the time, i dont have so much lies in me to hide from my parents all the time. and in order to make a lie, i have plan ahead, if it is so last minute, i cant think of a perfect reason to lie. but he doesnt get it? he seems to take it for granted that i can meet him any time sometimes, that is what i feel. sometimes, i have to get back home early cos i cnt go home too late. one is my fears of going home alone late at night, second is i cant see shit at night, three my mum is worried for me too. one more thing, shouldnt he pull me into the conversation instead of asking me to try on my own? isnt it easier for him to pull me into a conversation with his friends rather than i awkwardly ask them weird qns? i just hate it when he force me to talk, and if i dont, he would get upset, like srsly, i didnt talk for a reason okay. 

well i do appreciate his efforts, waking up before i go and caring for me. but if he’s gonna ignore me or forget about me when he is with his friends, i rather he dont show me i am his priority. cos it is fking hard to deal with when he isnt there to reply me all the time, reply as in a continuous conversation not a single word of trying to brush me off, yes, it might be a form of acknowledgement of it to me. but then, if i rant to him, do i really need an acknowledgement? hmm, i doubt so. i hate spamming him my feelings my thoughts cos he reads but dont reply me one by one, i hate that. if i tell you my feelings and thoughts fking reply, rants, at least tell me sth instead of a word ‘i reply later cos i chatting or gaming with my friends’ is still btr than a word, but ofc, make sure he replies afterwards lah, if not the words has no meaning. 

it is so hard to not text a person whom you text all the time a day. it is not i didnt wanna text, i am so fking tired and disappoointed at the nonchalant, okay not even nonchalant reply, just a word answer seems like i am disturbing him and brushing me off. i tried to text him, but if i am gonna get a word, what for i continue, sometimes it is not i didnt wanna spam. it’s just i know he wont reply to every single thing, so i am avoiding that disappointment. it takes two hands to clap, he want me to do this, then prove to me, it is worth it. like spamming, you want me to spam, then reply everything lah, i know i say b4 he need not necessarily reply everything but who doesnt want to be replied, if not send for what? 

he always wanted me to text him ‘i want him now’, why would i text a person asleep that? does he knows how much courage it takes for me to ask for things i want?  for almost 10 years, i havent been living for myself, i live for others, i nvr really requested a lot of things. idk how and i fear rejections, imagine mustering tons of courage then got rejected. hell no am i gonna make myself suffer that. best eg, first time i asked him to bring me sth that is extremely out of his way for me, he came but didnt fulfil the things i want. seeing him makes me not angry but the sadness doesnt disappear. 

i am like this now cos i want him to talk to me, even if it is for 2 mins, show that he tries to understand how i feel now. but nah, nope, i had enough of dissapointment today. i aint gonna on my phone until tmr. if he is late for tmr, i am so gonna ignore him for a day. 

as much as i wanna blame him for having fun and forgot about me. but i cnt. 

enough of him.

what cause me so sad and down. it is like i am awake but i aint doing my work. i dont have the energy to do so. i am so tired of everything. 

academic failure. is extremely strong when i failed my CT. 

stress. i m dealing with so many in schools but no one exactly knows what i am going thru. 

home: i have to smile to maintain i am okay feels. one not to let my parents worry and not to anger them. 

friends: i dgaf about them alrdy. i dont have the mood to deal with them. 

him: i am just idk, extremely sad and dissapointed about it, how he acts/ treats me these 2 days, esp today. 

wtv happens next, tonight, i wont gurantee. whether i harm myself or not. i cant be sure. controlling it is so hard. death to me aint scary, what i am scared of is the sadness ppl felt if i harm myself. 

dont blame me to disappear. if he shown more effort, i wouldn't have disappeared due to sadness and disappointment. actually, would he even know i disappear? 

or maybe, i havent been okay, cos i felt neglected by him... apart from my parents, only one more person can me feel so dead when i am alrdy unhappy, which worsen my sadness. 

IF HE HAPPENS TO FIND TILL HERE, I SALUTE HIM COS I DONT EXPECT HIM AT ALL. which implies he knows how to find me when i dissapear. 

[theoutcall]

all the txts for the meme you didn't reblog!

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

[ hyung ] goodsent at 5:31:03 a.m.[ hyung ] morning[ hyung ] forgot to finish typing [ hyung ] but you never responded so who’s fault is thissent at 2:14:27 p.m.

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[ hyung ] There’s a lot I want to ask you and it’s not that I’m afraid to to do it. There’s little I am afraid of. But... some things are better left alone.

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

[ hyung ] not now[ hyung ] call me in an hour[ hyung ] kiss kis

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ hyung ] do you ever stop and just think about how our goals, lives, intentions, hopes, and dreams are all just results of thousands of years of civilization and society that just happened to develop on a floating space rock. not to call anything we do […] or achieve meaningless–it’s all up to perspective and I’m not really a pessimistic person. it just fucks me over to think about, when most people are focused on fightingg over material things on a planet that just happens to exist for whatever spontaneous reason or whim but if I go on talking about this too long I’ll start to wonder why exactly everything happened to begin 

[…] with. if there is a higher power, it’s/their intention, that type of shit. like how do people even become so arrogant and greedy to conquer and control a temporary resource and destroy cultures when you’re so insignificant to everyone outside of your social circle not […] to mention a speck of dust in the entire universe? (( or multiverses, u know) and what the point is when all we’re doing is driving ourselves to destruction and killing whatever we touch. like wat sort of legacy is worth leaving to the point of harming everything around you? soon we’ll have nothing left to leave. anyway i wanna watch the stars-- i think that was my original point[ hyung ] disclaimer: I’m not high

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. 

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ hyung ] I'd rather be in bed with you right now[ hyung ] that wasnt for you [ hyung ] stop leaving me on read & dont be jealous, youre prettier

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ hyung ] my grandma used to tell me plants hurt when you touch them and if you leaned close enough to them you can hear them cry [ hyung ] now its like what the fuck and i understand she just wanted me to stop digging up the garden[ hyung ] but as a kid it terrified me and i avoided walking on grass for a yearSend “✘” for a HATEFUL text.[ hyung ] top gun isn’t even that good

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[ hyung ] so[ hyung ] wearing your jacket got me laid [ hyung ] but i took it off first

Send “@” for a SCARED text

[ hyung ] can you come get me >> gps location sent via messenger[ hyung ] i cant explain right now [ hyung ] please[ 3 missed calls ][ 1 pending voicemail ]Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[ hyung ] me thinking about you >> attachment

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ hyung ] can you teach me how to fight

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ hyung ] movie marathon [ hyung ] marathon[ hyung ] marathon marath mm [ hyung ] if you’re not here in 1 hour ill kick your ass [ hyung ] stop laughing [ hyung ] we can watch war movies as long as i can show you half of star trek, one episode of star gate, and the first three star wars movies [ hyung ] I made it sound like you had a choice but you dont

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.a/n: all sent before hyunwoo’s arrival in sk and after niclas’ death

[ Nic ] lmao yeah whatever you say 👅[ Nic ] just message me when you’re back sent 7:23:54 p.m. (2 years ago)[ Nic ] I graduated [ Nic ] with an art degree i can probably use as a coaster [ Nic ] but im doing really well for myself[ Nic ] ive had several offers already. not positive on which ones will fuck me over and bleed me dry but it is what it is[ Nic ] havent decided what im going to do yet but ive been thinking about it[ Nic ] like what we talked about when i was in the states [ Nic ] i might travel again but this time it’ll be for me(2 years ago)[ Nic ] i havent been online in the forums since [ Nic ] yeah[ Nic ] but no one ever has anything fun to say like you did  [ Nic ] i mentioned the multiverse theory 1 time nic[ Nic ] banned [ Nic ] i think they took so long to ban me because you were there [ Nic ] holding out for a hero(2 years ago)[ Nic ] quit smoking [ Nic ] made a deal with mom [ Nic ] she didnt quit drinking but at least she thought about it for 1 second(1 year ago)[ Nic ] it’s not like im bullshitting myself [ Nic ] i know youre never going to answer againsent (1 year ago)[ Nic ] I’m trying really hard to let it go nic I am[ Nic ] I miss yousent 3:14:42 a.m. (1 year ago)MESSAGE(s) FAILED. NUMBER NO LONGER IN USE. 

#caerium #god this took like 3 hours

[asksansweredpdf]

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? i feel like it was teenage rebel - chameleon circuit hahaha

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? well, i often do tarot spreads for this. but i guess i would ask - you know. i’m not sure

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? literally just surviving it all

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? maybe a few work ones, or the time not long ago i was put in a group assignment for uni. we all decided to meet up after our group presentation for drinks and hang out and i had a really fun time making new friends and hanging out with people

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? oh man i would have WAY less anxiety about everything. knowing that nothing i do will matter in a year would be so freeing and liberating. i’d probably get a new job and actually get my motorbike license and go for rides 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? i don’t have a bucket list but i’ll try to think of 3 things i’d like to do before i die -

this has been in my drafts for days and i honestly can’t think of a thing. 

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? nope

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? honestly i can’t remember. oh! i think maybe 6 months ago i got high and started over thinking and got sad and started crying. my roommate walked past because i forgot i had the door open and hugged me and then left after a bit

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. ideally, it’d be a close friend. but i dont have those. so maybe if i could go back in time and stargaze with an old friend. otherwise, my current friend hj is cool! actually, i’d love to get high and stargaze with him.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? i have before. but no, i wouldn’t now. i’m not like that anymore

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? it was 4 months ago, with my old best friend’s ex-boyfriend (i think they broke up? i dont talk to either of them anymore). i used to be close to him anyway, like we were also best friends. and we used to be roommates.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? i’d love to look my mother in the eyes and say “i’ll never forgive you” but. it doesn’t feel right as much as i mean it. i guess i’d like to say it to both my parents. but i have to pick one person. .... i guess i would get my old best friend who i havent spoken to in 6 years and say “i’m sorry. i missed you for years. i’ll always love you” or something equally dramatic

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? i have them and i love them. they’re so beautiful

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. i’m picking a few because fuck the police “being human is a condition that requires a little anaesthesia” was from the bohrap movie. relatable mood. reminds me of my mother which makes me uncomfortable “fall down 7 times, stand up 8. higher, further, faster” from captain marvel. i’ve been through soooo much fucking shit in my life. and i feel like it just keeps coming (well. the shit keeps coming and it don’t stop coming and it dont stop coming and it dont stop coming and it dont stop coming) and sometimes i wonder what the point of it all is. like what’s the point of trying to be happy when i’m just going to be let down again. and so it’s encouraging to change perspective from that to, we get up higher, further, faster

“my skin has gone from porcelain, to ivory, to steel” - sansa stark  it ties in with the captain marvel one. in that shit just keeps happening. and i feel the same way. i used to be so free and naive and i’m not that person anymore. i guess it makes me feel less alone. 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? “

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? buy a house for myself, buy a few investment properties so that i know i’m always secure financially. put a couple million in the bank. buy houses for my friends and family, donate the rest

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? yes and yes. i feel like i’m really understanding, and so i forgive people when it’s understandable. but once it’s past a certain point, i’m not at all forgiving. i hold grudges too. i like being this way

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. “hey kid. happy birthday! well, this is where things start to get really hard. you’re going to go through a lot even though you think you won’t. people are going to leave you and treat you despicably and betray you. almost everyone you love will completely screw you over. you will have no one to count on except yourself. i’m not saying this to scare you. but i want you to know that even when you feel like it’s too much to handle, you’re so much stronger than you’ll even realise. you have so much turmoil ahead of you, but i love you so much. you’ll come out the other end with anxiety and so scarred. but you’ll survive it. all of it. you’ll survive. there’s no lesson or greater purpose. i’m not going to tell you that it all happens for a reason, because it doesn’t. just trust that you have what’s in you to face anything. once day this will all feel like a bad dream and you’ll start to feel like yourself again. best of luck. ps there is no god”

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. love them both. they’re hot and cool

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? nah, i only wear make up to work. and that’s because i work in sales. part of getting people to like you is being attractive. make up makes you more attractive. when people like you, you have more influence over them and you make more sales

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. runaway by pink. that song just. what a mood. and family portrait. i relate to both of those songs so much. even when i was going through shit, i had that song that i could sing and even though things were never okay, they made it bearable

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. be kind to each other?

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. 1st was a pink concert i went to when i was 15! we were super poor so this was a major deal. i waited in line for ages and my back started hurting real bad. but as soon as she got on stage everything went away. it was electrifying and she performed my favourite song. and i had eyeliner on which i cried off because she was my idol and it was amazing. her dancers were also super hot and i re-affirmed my bisexuality because i was like. wow. yes 2nd was lana & borns. my sister made me go with her to see lana del rey who i dont really give a shit about. she’s cool but im not like a major fan. borns however, i adore with every fibre of my being. borns was the opening act which was cute. i was one of the only ones in the crowd who knew him and everyone behind me was like gasping and talking about how cute he is. which also re-affirmed my sexuality. up until that point i thought that maybe i was a lesbian because i didn’t tend to find men too attractive. but borns? nope, i knew i was bi. then lana came on. it was okay. i knew a fair amount of the songs and apparently pissed everyone off by singing? i just thought that’s what you did at concerts dsjgdslkr but i had fun.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? i would love to get a letter from an old best friend of mine saying sorry & that we should catch up. i feel like i havent had a friendship as full of connection as the one we’ve had. it’s been years and i still dont have anyone that could possibly replace her. but i worry that if we ever did try to re-kindle things it just wouldnt work out. which would lead me to ask myself if there was ever going to be anyone else who i’ll have that connection with. but it’d be nice at least

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? i don’t have a desk! i had one for about 3 months and it was organised. i was always too poor to afford a desk and it just wasnt a priority when i used my bed

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? go upstairs, lay in bed, read .... words, stay up until my eyes are closing for me. sleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? my parents opinion literally means nothing to me. i wouldn’t care what they do/don’t know. i guess id prefer if they didnt know about the drugs because my mum did them a lot and it led to her being abusive. so they’d be suuuper judgy and probably take them off me and shit. but once im moved out, i dont really care. they wont be able to do much about it

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? i’d love to have a shaved thing. my hair’s already short. but my dad’s homophobic and doesnt want me to get it short. i dont give enough of a shit about it to argue with him so i leave it. but if i could, having a cool shaved thing would be nice

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? i dont think i even have 5 friends, and if i do, we certainly don’t have fun together. i’d just go by myself. i’m lots of fun to be around when it’s just me

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. i wish for a job that has stable income, consistent hours, a kind staff, and is something that i’m not constantly fucking up. - i wish for this because i feel like getting up every day to do something that doesn’t give me panic attacks (that i might even be able to enjoy) is such a dream. and if it gives a stable amount of money and hours, i’d be able to plan things and have a life instead of worrying about them calling me at literally any given moment and asking me to work. which means i’d either have to work or stammer out an excuse on the spot & have the managers be mad at me i wish for a living space that i can afford & is either by myself or with people who aren’t terrible. or with people who can’t fuck me over if they get mad at me. this would step 2 of being happy for me. having a job that doesn’t make me anxious = job that could make me happy. living space that is secure and mine and that no one can take away = reduction of anxiety and security = potentially being happy.  i guess i’d use the 3rd wish on having a car or motorbike. being able to get around without relying on anyone or public transport would be nice. i can go to places whenever it suits me and i’d be independent. i can just decide to go to an art gallery without it having to be a major planning thing or something that would take 2 hours to get to and from. it’d be very liberating 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. omg! last halloween. i borrowed an old friend’s witch costume. it was this cute corseted dress with a mini skirt & suspenders that attach to stockings. i bought a matching wand and witches hat. i looked super cute

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? i havent done terrible things under the influence hey. i mostly just have fun and keep to myself.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? i dunno man. one million dollars is a lot of money. surely any of my usual morals would fly out the window. murder would become questionable. like it’s $1 million. i guess maybe not murder because if i went to jail then i wouldnt be able to spend the $1m. mass murder of like children and innocent people i probably wouldnt do. even if i got away with it

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? 1 song would be maybe americans - janelle monae. it’s a tune and you can listen to it for any mood really 1 person? i’ve purposefully gotten rid of any person i would want to only see for the rest of my life. not in a murder way, i just cut ties with them

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. many a time. it’s a really nice thing! not just romantically. but for me, i just suddenly can’t stop thinking about them. like every spare second i have i’m wondering what they’re doing, thinking about our inside jokes, planning what i’ll say next, wondering what to wear to impress them next, planning how i’m going to work this funny story i want to tell them, etc. and i won’t be able to stop smiling whenever they’re around. the worst giveaway for me is when i can feel myself excessively talking to other people about them. and i can’t stop.  it gives me something to think about that makes me happy. something that makes me happy to distract from usually the shitter things.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? i am a girl and i have really really short hair. i rock it. i also rock black nail polish

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? i hate coffee. so i usually order a white hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. i’d trust anyone to order it for me. as long as they didn’t screw up and get me the white chocolate mocha, which has happened a few times 

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? alcohol. music! probbaly music before alcohol. i love music. cigarettes. and my phone

#mine

[sweetlifetownsville]

Hi-Jacking Australia Day: Photo Op Fail Shows That The Mayor Knows How Deep She Is In The Electoral Doo-Doos

Shameless in its hypocrisy, utterly stupid in its transparency Jenny Hill and her team claim honours they WERE NOT awarded, in a bumbled bit of cheap campaigning chicanery. For all that, The Pie owes Jenny Hill an apology or does he? Could it be that he err short-changed her when writing about the LGAQ last week? There seems to be some murky financial (albeit apparently legal) fancy financial footwork in the local governments published reports. The Pie has a beak around to see if he really must offer to Jenny what she was forced to offer Clive Palmer an abject apology. (Good luck with the $50 grand part of it, though.) An unfortunate choice by the Townsville Chamber of Commerce and a truly shameful one by the Bulletin.. Plus, Bentleys hilarious take that will make Katter go Katter-tonic and in addition to our usual visual visit to the week in Trumpistan, a wonderful pictorial insight into how time reverses our values. But first Bobs A Real Pain The Arse The Mad Katter was at again this week, describing homosexuality as a fashion trend, and making the ingenuous dopey statement that In my whole life up to 50, I had never seen or heard of a homosexual person. Well, you probably met heaps of them, Bob, but in that time period, the laws of the day made it advisable not to advertise the fact. And one wonders if he doth protest a tad much could the Member for Kennedy be on a late-life slide into iniquity? Theres been a hint when you host a barbie in a shirt that looks like it was bought at Peter Allen garage sale, casually slung over a Ripcurl T-shirt, youre poised at the top of the slippery slope we call life-style choices. Indeed, our visionary toonist Bentley can clearly see the next passing phase for our Bob. Of course, this is all in fun, we all know that Bob is a solid, upstanding member, a real hands-on bloke who has a strong grip on things despite all his giggling and gasping. Still In Bentley territory, our man reckons not everybody is unhappy with our current heat wave across the country. And he is right about The Pies reaction, but being a considerate chap, Bentley has omitted the brown stains in the water behind the old bird. Low Blow In a shameful tabloid attempt at sensationalism, the Townsville Bulletin has surpassed itself on this, our national day when we talk up that we live in The Land of the Fair Go. In one of the most denigrating efforts yet by this floundering fish of a paper, we were treated to this below-the-belt guilt by association dog whistling front page. And the sleazy effort just got worse and worse, especially when a reporter quizzed him with what can only be an accusatory question on any possible involvement with his aunts drug dealing, indicated by the use of the word denied. QUOTE: Mr Dametto denied having any prior knowledge of his aunts alleged involvement with drugs before her arrest and assured his constituents, he did not condone the use of dangerous drugs. I havent (been involved in drugs) nor any other member of my family to my knowledge, Mr Dametto said.(The alleged offending) has nothing to do with me, its something she has to sort out herself. UNQUOTE The fact that they asked the question no one had considered, with not a shred of even remote suggestion, is straight up political dog whistling the chorus of Ha! yeah, right from the LNP and Labor banjo-playing set is already plunking away. If Jenna Cairney and her band of work experience reporters think this is a good tactic to fill space, perhaps theyd like to door knock the parents and relatives of the juvenile little shits charged with stealing cars and property, and ask them if they had any prior knowledge or involvement the exploits of their little snots. One imagines such effrontery would meet with what some cops describe as summary justice and no argument there from this old bird. Truly base stuff, Ms Cairney. And Your Bizarre Story Placements Continue Apace Jeez-us, fair dinkum. When It Comes To Snide Stupidity, Jenna And Jenny Make A Pigeon Pair If ever proof was needed that our mayor is wetting herself about her plunging popularity and failure to fool ANY of the people ANY of the time, it came in the online Bulletin this weekend. Heres a little puzzle of current affairs test for you. Read the caption first, and then see a) how many Australia Day award winners you can spot, and b) see how many Team Hill councillors you can spot. And the Astonisher certainly has its political priorities right the caption lists Mayor Mullet and Premier Alphabet but failed to mention that dorky looking bloke in the center. Oh, him, hes not worth mentioning, just the Governor of Queensland and former Chief Justice Paul de Jersey. But then have a look along the line search as he could, The Pie was not able to see it reported anywhere that either Clr Ann-Maree Greaney, Clr Maurie Soares, Clr Colleen Boo Hoo Doyle, Clr Les Messagebank Walker, Mayor Mullet Jenny Hill, or Clr Kurt Rehbein had received any Australia Day honours. So WTF are THEY doing, holding some sort of prize, which if it is an Australia Day Award, is grossly dishonest to say the least a pathetic please re-elect me plea? They are making themselves out to be winners of some sort which is looking more and more unlikely next time around. But OK, why is the old bird surprised, this is about the level of honesty weve come to expect from these denizens of the Walker Street trough. Its such a thigh-slapping inept attempt at campaign virtue signalling it has just proved two things shes desperate and shes dumb. But or All that, Mayor Mullet May Get Back In A new study of Townsville voters has discovered why we have the political representation we have. Well, at least it explains it for us, but not much can be done, youd reckon. Now, Having Said That, Maybe The Magpie Owes Mrs Hill An Apology Last week and on a couple of previous occasions The Pie has snidely written that Mayor Mullet picks up $31K a year in fees plus expenses for attending 6 LGAQ meeting a year as one of the three ordinary directors of the Association. She will retain that position until June 2020. Well, shame-faced as he is to say it, it appears that The Magpie may be WRONG (clutch the pearls to throat, gals, splutter in your Scotch and Fanta, gents). And this error is a direct, albeit unintended, slur on our mayor, by wantonly questioning the worth of her invaluable visionary qualities and her legendary financial acumen, particularly in Indian industrial and aviation matters. Because it seems her spare-time gig at the LGAQ earns her nowhere near $31,000 p.a. It looks like its closer to $95,000 per annum! Which becomes even more interesting when you consider that the TCC pays about $250K a year membership, so it in essence means that her services to the LGAQ are in fact paid for by Townsville ratepayers as part of the citys membership fee. Indeed, it seems we stump up a total a very worth while total, mind you, who could argue of just under $300,000 a year for her incomparable leadership as she charts a clever path out of our current financial and employment morass. The Pie humbly apologises for underselling you so despicably, Mrs Hill, when you devote so much of your time so selflessly to the public good of Townsville. There will be sneering Doubting Thomases who question your championing of the Local Buy procurement arm of the LGAQ, which actually takes work OUT of this city. Those doubters say that the claimed efficiencies dont actually save the council anything, but pshaw! what would they know? They simply have no head for these sorts of figures and deals and they certainly dont understand the pressures of your obligation to an organisation that slips you almost a hundred grand a year to raise your voting arm when told. Oh, the irony, the irony. But, You Cry, Is This True? Well, it certainly seems so to better financial sleuths than The Magpie, but it all depends how you decipher the murky and ambiguous figures published by he LGAQ. Rubbery was a word bandied about frequently. And just to pique our interest, there is a little mystery item mentioned, but that later on. Lets go the LGAQ Annual Report, where on page 35 we find this as a starter. Now the remuneration seems pretty clear there sort of but it has the rubbery words ranged between. (And a brief digression they sure aint bound by pissant thoughts of CPI or inflation down at the LGAQ note the rise in fees from 2017 to 2018 a tasty 35% for the president and an eye-watering 100% for directors. And the 2017 figures dont add up anyway, which is rubbery/sloppy in itself, with no explanation offered. Makes one wonder. The question here is would someone like Jenny Hill from a place the size of Townsville (for round figures, let say 200,000) be willing to accept the same stipend as say Alf Lacey from Palm Island, which has what, about three to five thousand people? Methinks not in a month of Sundays, and PI membership would be a tiny fraction of Townsvilles.) Then we see this chart, which again seem clear. Or is it not? The disparity between the President and the directors $137,422 v $31,000 ($94,280 split three ways rounded out here) is not believable to one executive who deals in these areas. He thinks the real remuneration, especially for Jenny Hill, is actually about $94,000. But whether it totals that from these figures (where there would obviously have to be some accounting error), things get even more interesting if he scroll back to page 20, we find this And this Now these reports can be heavy going even for accountants at times, and impossible for the likes by The Magpie, but our experienced Magpie mate writes: The cost of directors fees and meeting fees for the year are $618,294 (page 20) this would kind of add up to me like 3 directors @ $95k plus the president @ $137k total of $422k leaving another $196k to be accounted for so I think the directors get 95K still and travel and accommodation listed separately as $734,441 (page 20) So all in all, maybe Jenny Hill is worth the money she gets as a director worth it to the LGAQ, anyway, when it presumably is she who calls the shots on the councils membership fees. All this is courtesy of the Townsville ratepayers. The loveliness continues. Oh, and that little mystery. Just this But to be sure, since the LGAQ runs an insurance arm, it will surely be covered for whatever alleged indiscretion did or did not take place either way, it gunna cost. A (un-doctored) Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words A somewhat antiquated clich borne out by an alert reader who reckons his shot in Flinders Street just about sums up Townsvilles quandary. And another reader pic is being repeated across the city at a growing rate. Sloppy unfinished work and weeds all around contractor or council, totally unacceptable, and could be a traffic hazard, especially in the wet. Of course, not all councils can get things right, even the mighty Randwick Council in Sydney which has its own wrestle with signage. Be interesting if a Great Dane owned by a dwarf takes a dump. Did The Townsville Chamber of Commerce Really Think About The Wisdom Of This? Putting an image of a hungry looking porker on the stationery of an outfit representing private business seems a bit risky. But it gets more pointed when it is advertising a Townsville information session for the LGAQs Local Buy mob. Of course, in very small print, the presence of porky is explained as recognition of the Chambers Chinese membership, it is the Year of the Pig. Well, come to think of it, it IS an election year Pot Calling Kettle Award Of The Week. This goes to US Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, addressing an emergency meeting of the Organisation of American States last Wednesday on the unrest in Venezuela, and rescinding recognition of the elected leader. He said: The time for debate is done. The regime of former President Nicholas Maduro is illegitimate. His regime is morally bankrupt, economically incompetent and it is profoundly corrupt. It is undemocratic to the core. All absolutely correct except for two words, and many Americans know which two they are but guess you wouldnt know, Mikey, what a gerbil performance history awaits you, fella. We can shortly expect Trump to recognise Pauline Hanson as Australias legitimate leader, and for the forthcoming elections to be cancelled, since elections have little meaning in Washington. Apparently. But before Trump can make any such declaration how Australia can be governed, he will need the permission of the man behind him. And thats just the start for this week in Trumpistan. And Finally, For A Final Rueful Laugh Or Two. Time and technology play unexpected tricks on us, taking just a few short years to reverse human behaviour. .. Thats it for this week, but as usual, comments are running hot on all sorts of topics, so have your say, comments can be posted 24/7. And if youre in a kindly mood (or just drunk, doesnt matter) a donation to help the old bird keep floating above it all is always appreciated and put to good use. The how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/hi-jacking-australia-day-photo-op-fail-shows-that-the-mayor-knows-how-deep-she-is-in-the-electoral-doo-doos/

[drashleighreid]

If you have the time, do all you haven’t done!

omfg! haha okay holy shit

Alisons: Sexuality?

lesbonym

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

She/her

Amaryllis: birthday?

nov 4th! 

Anemone: Favorite flower?

sunflowers and port wine magnolias for their scent and peonies! 

Angelonia: Favorite tv show?

id say favorite of recent would be big little lies 

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

i don’t know i guess it depends on the situation. i find myself agreeing to do things for strangers for some reason like one time i took an acting workshop and i literally drove three people home afterwards even though they didnt live anywhere near me and i didnt know them at all lkjsf

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

i dont drink much else but water usually lol. i like cold brew coffee and iced tea too. and lemon ginger tea. alcohol-wise i love gin and tonics, red wine, and old-fashioneds 

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no but i said that the time before too LMAO 

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? 

im not sure. i’ve felt really strong feelings for people in the past but i don’t think it’s ever been mutual so i guess not 

Baneberries: Favorite song? 

god i don’t know if i can do a favorite of all time. i recently played this video game Submerged and it was a really cleansing and wholesome time and I’ve been listening to the orchestral score of that a lot since. any lana del rey song, get free - major lazer hits me in my toner tbh, the jazz standard stardust - there are so many versions i adore idk its too hard to pick ill just end up listing my whole spotify soon i dont really have all time favorites i just go thru waves Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my mum runs a childcare business, my nan works at a post office, my brother is an IT guy my sister in law is a hairdresser and i have two young nieces who are in 1st and 2nd grade. they all live in my hometown which is kinda far from me. my dad passed away a few years ago but he owned a flower farm. my parents separated when i was in 2nd grade but i spent every holidays with my dad. i have looooooots of cousins lol 

Beebalm: do you have a best friend? Who is it?

i dont really do the hierarchy thing ! but i have a few. my friends jess and rach from here are my fave people ever and literally make me cry with laughter when we all hang out and my friend meg who i’ve known since 8th grade is my vegan salad club soul sister and i love her to death 

Bellflower: favorite animal

dogs and toucans ! lov birbs 

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night! 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

that i dont understand how i didnt get the maternal gene when my mum literally looks after children for a living slkjsdf. im not opposed to having one someday but not for a while and i think id honestly be content either way 

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

small spaces/being trapped which i dont know? ive just always had some level of claustrophobia i dont know where it came from 

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

probably stressed LMAO. idk hanging out with loved ones eating good food trying to do a bunch of things i’ve always wanted to do

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

in a committed relationship with a body pillow and my vibrator 

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when i can speak openly and be vulnerable comfortably. when people tell me they care about me and value my presence 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

2x each ear and one cartilage 

California Poppy: Height?

5′6

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

a cute grey nightgown lol *+*

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

im sure i did when i was younger but now light kind of bothers me when im trying to sleep

Chrysanthemum: who was the last person you kissed?

my friend when we were drunk

Cock’s Comb: favorite font?

i dont think i really have one lol

Columbine: Are you tired?

im kinda like comfy sleepy. its pouring rain and a cool breeze is coming through my window and im really cozy so its just like. nice. 

Coneflower: Dream job?

scriptwriter/director 

Crane’s-bill: Introvert or extrovert?

im an introvert

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

im fiercely loyal to those i love. 

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

scorpio babeeeeey

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

hmm. in what scheme lol. of the world? probably not yet but we’re working on it.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

idk if its an accomplishment but my travels are probably the highlight of my life to me. im kind of always fearless when i travel lol and i love that for me 

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i dont know. i like to think im good at talking people through things and being empathetic and giving advice. i try my best to be there for people 

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

letting things go. not bottling things up. 

Freesia: what are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i finished school for the semester ! i started a painting! i saw two cool theatre shows. 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

actually pretty good!

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

not really but i’m starting to see the potential in the future a lot more. i tend to get really stuck and struggle to see beyond my current situation but i’m trying to look forward and realise that things are going to get a lot better with time 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

direct a short film i’m happy with, write more, travel overseas, cultivate a close group of friends here, go back to singing lessons.

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

watching youtube videos ! jenna and julien and remi cruz are my favorites they just make me feel so positive. listening to podcasts especially my dad wrote a porno because even if im in the worst mood ill literally be sobbing with laughter. listening to music and playing mindless games on my phone! watching movies and tv shows. getting out of the house and going to a cafe/wandering around the mall. going to the movie theatre. reading ! 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i use my words a lot of the time. if i really care about someone i’ll talk to them and be there for them.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im proud of my strength and my unwavering knowledge of what i deserve. im proud of my friends and my family and everyone in my life.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day?

waking up and taking a dog for a walk having coffee and brunch with a close friend doing something fun like rock climbing or ice skating or going on a hike then going to see a show and going home to watch movies or play video games or play card games 

Hyacinth: what do you like to do in your free time?

read, watch movies, exercise, talk to friends, write

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Jess and Rach i met on here like ??? i cant remember when ?? 2012 ?? 2011? then we finally met in person in 2015 and now i swear i see them more often than i see friends i live in the same place as. my best friend from high school i met in 8th grade so 2007?? 

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

my best friends. my sister in law. 

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

idk its kinda weird to count lol 

 Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

hmm. this random lady in a mall once told me i can pull off red lipstick better than anyone shes ever seen before shhhhwooooosh. some of the things people have said about my fics literally makes me want to cry. one of my professors last year wrote a really lovely recommendation letter for me and told me i was fucking awesome and was going to do great things. 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

She’s Trying. idk i struggle sometimes but at my core im proud of myself and i know my worth 

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

My resilience and passion and empathy.

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

that i lose sight of what i want and how to get it. that i shut people out and am sometimes so scarily independent that it tips and turns me lonely. 

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

visit my nans on the weekend and play video games. go to the beach. read !!! write. 

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my best friend had the same name as me and we’d play bratz and she had a pool so it was lit now she lives a few houses down from where my mum lives and has a child and we havent really spoken since like 9th grade lol slfj 

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

not making it back in time for my dads funeral

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

a lot of the time im self assured enough to not feel guilt over things i know aren’t my fault or situations where im not in the wrong. i never want people to be unhappy or struggle even if they probably dont deserve my sympathy though so i get mixed feelings there. 

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it?

i grew up on a coastal beach town. a small sleepy lil bay. it’s super pretty and idyllic and gorgeous but living there grew a bit monotonous tbh im not a small town person. visiting is lovely though. my nan literally lived basically on the beach when i was growing up youd just like roll down a hill and be on the sand. i loved it so much

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had a few different ones. i usually had purple walls ! and id decorate it with random things i was interested in and had books everywhere

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

i mean not a whole lot LOL high school kinda sucked. i did really well at school and i had some good friends! it wasnt the worst but i was also a closeted gay and didnt know who tf i was so there was some struggles around that. 

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom?

shes generous and selfless and kind. she’s had a bit of a rough life but she’s strong. 

Onions: Tell about your dad

i love that this q is ‘onions’ mood. our relationship was ,,, turbulent. i have some really great memories with him and visiting was honestly good a lot of the time when i was growing up! we’d play pool and id help them with the flowers and we’d go out boating and swimming and bowling and do lots of fun stuff but he was also an alcoholic and gradually got worse as i got older and he was really intimidating and could be really hot and cold and had really unrealistic expectations. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents

 i was really close with my grandmother on my dads side she gave me my passion for reading and writing !! when i was really young i would sit in her lap and she would read me stories and then when i got older i started reading the stories to her we were super close she passed away when i was in 6th grade and it was really sad i loved her. my grandpa on my mums side taught me how to play pool !! he used to run the pool club where i’d compete and he was just a nice guy he passed away a few years ago. and my nan on my mums side is an icon i love hanging out with her i grew up spending almost every weekend at her house playing video games she always has all the newest consoles and video games for all of her grandchildren lol we go for walks on the beach and shes awesome one time she came to pick me up from school blasting low by flo rida we stan 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

hmm my 16th maybe ! that was when i was in the US and i remember having cheer practice and my host mom brought cake in and it was just really nice. idk why my 10th birthday is so memorable to me but i had a lit bday party and i remember so much about it lol? 

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a barista! 

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

i dont know if i have an idea on how i hope to meet my future partner its not something i plan or have a preference for. ive met most of my closest friends online and w being gay *+* lol itll prob be through online im guessing. 

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

physically? poorly LOL im such a baby if im in pain in any way. 

Pink: where is home? 

idk. i dont know if i have one just yet tbh. we’ll find it ! 

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, whats is one thing you would stop/change?

hmm i try to live without ragrets. there are a few situations id like to go into either wiser or not at all though if im being hoe nest. 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

hmm. there are a few actresses/celebs i look up to ! all these qs are turning my brain into goo LMAO i cant think

Rhododendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i heard once that someone related to my great grandfather had some kind of connection to french royalty ?? idk how true that was but i was waiting for my princess diaries moment for a while there 

Ricinus: who’s the most important in your life?

me bitch

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

rain/thunder 

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

to read fic until im too sleepy to keep my eyes open then drift off *+* 

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

depends on the situation. i wouldn’t say easy but i can speak and explain myself well because I spend soo much time thinking about things lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

my mum 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 9 hrs lol 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

coffee

Touch-me-not: how do you feel about your current job?

that i need one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

black jeans 

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

this and that. packing to go away

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? what were they called?

lol none really. i read a few at the beginning of the year but nothing lately. ive read innumerable fic tho does that count

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

happier ! growing ! loved. i want to feel accomplished with what i created during the school year, fulfilled. surrounded by people with pure intentions. hopefully just overseas somewhere 

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

whY is this a question ???????????????????

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself

i used to be a fitness instructor 

okay that was a lot more questions than i thought it was LMAO fuck

thank you for the entertainment that was fun ! xx 

#omfg im dead i didnt think there were that many #long post #read more #Anonymous

[jamathon]

Ask me! I'll answer honestly

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? lit 7′0″ 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) cat 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? met gala type fancy for sure.  4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Just dance 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day? My gf, boulder, art, 

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? "pwease no steppy” 7: What is your opinion on life? V weird. v cool 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] I tihnkkkk it was melancholic but i shud take it again bc it’s def changed  9: Are you ticklish? very 10: Are you allergic to anything? not that i know yet 11: What’s your sexuality? gay bi gay bi gay bi.  12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Tea 13: Are you a cat or dog person? cat 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? whichever one is least lonely. probably merperson. 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Alex bertie!! 16: How tall are you? 5′4 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Kiwi 18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] likeee 125 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? pass. 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Ocean.  21: Are you religious? No 22: Pet peeves? A . Lot. im so impatient.  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal! 24: Favorite constellation? uhhhh *panics and looks around kitchen* the big spoon 25: Favorite star? North bc i used to see it every night after work and i didn’t know it alr had a name so i named it after my gf as a romantic gesture hahhahaha 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? Yuh 27: Any phobias or fears? Afraid of loneliness  28: Do you think global warming is real? shut up.  29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Havent thought about it 30: Favorite movie? Scott pilgrim 31: Do you get scared easily? Yes 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 1 33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] my blogs a 10 even tho i still have the OG tumblr theme 34: What is a color that calms you? blue 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Iceland 36: Where were you born? baltimore 37: What is your eye color? hazel 38: Introvert or extrovert? both 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? hahahhaha yesss 40: Hugs or kisses? bofa 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Would love to visit boulder i miss the mountains & weather a lot 42: Who is someone you love deeply? Rayven 43: Any piercings you want? septum tbh 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yes. v hot 45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? not anymore 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Rayven is my crush and also my gf she’s about to turn 21 which is exciting!! this feels like show n tell haha 47: What is a sound you really hate? fingernail scratching jeans 48: A sound you really love? keys jingling 49: Can you do a backflip? no 50: Can you do the splits?  no 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? emma stone  52: Favorite movie?alr asked. scotty P. 53: How are you feeling right now? fine but restless bc of a tummy ache 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? back to black acctuallly im tired of dying it  55: When did you feel happiest? idk 56: Something that calms you down? tumblr 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] havent had an evaluation in years so idk! 58: What does your URL mean? that’s my JAMATHON!!! To describe a good song. A word i tried to make happen. like fetch. except not original, just “jam” with “athon” added.  59: What three words describe you the most? Understanding. Funny. Intense.  60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? If they dont post enuf memes 62: What makes you follow a blog? Memes 63: Favorite kind of person: Funny, outgoing, spontaneous  64: Favorite animal(s): Whales 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. eh idk 66: Favorite emoticon: the drooling one 67: Favorite meme: too many 68: What is your MBTI personality type? intp idk if that’s right 69: What is your star sign? capricorn  70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? i like layers. probably my leather jacket w black pants and a my yellow shirt. it makes me feel cute 72: Post a selfie or two? too hard 73: Do you have platform shoes? yes 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I used to be double jointed and could bend my finger back to touch my hand, unsure what happened but now i have 0 party tricks 75: Can you do a front flip? yeah probably 76: Do you like birds? So much!!!!!! 77: Do you like to swim? no!!!!!! 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? swimming... 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: pollution 80: Some thing you wish did exist: cures 81: Piercings you have? ears 82: Something you really enjoy doing: playing music/drawing/taking pictures 83: Favorite person to talk to: rayven 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? cupcakes 85: How many followers do you have? like 100 on this blog now hahaha 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? yes but will I? No. 87: Do your socks always match? No 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? No 89: What are your birthstones? Turquoise  90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Fox 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? I want to be creative but when i think about it...a red rose.  92: A store you hate? The grocery store bc im there all the time 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? zero now but at the beginning of the year i was drinking around 4-5 a day.  94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly 95: Do you like to wear camo? nah 96: Winter or summer? Used to be winter but nothing is good in the south. 97: How long can you hold your breath for? not long at all it gives me anxiety 98: Least favorite person? some of the people ive met in the past year have been atrocious.  99: Someone you look up to: My roommate Chris.  100: A store you love? I could spend all day in H&M  101: Favorite type of shoes? vans 102: Where do you live? ....atlanta 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Yes bc my girlfriend is and we always share food so like... i guess i eat meat on my own but that’s liike once a month haha 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? hmmm...bismuth. 105: Do you drink milk? No 106: Do you like bugs? Not in the south. 107: Do you like spiders? NO. 108: Something you get paranoid about? Bugs. 109: Can you draw: NO. 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? people love prying idk at this point 111: A question you hate being asked? are u a boy or a girl has definitely gotten old 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? yes 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yesssssss 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? depends 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: my gf 116: Favorite cloud type: rain cloud 117: What color do you wish the sky was? orange.  118: Do you have freckles? yes 119: Favorite thing about a person: humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies 121: Something you want to do right now: sleep but im restless :( 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? hmmmm depends 123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet for sure.  124: Bright or dim lights? bright bc i need new glasses and cant see in dim light 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? dragons  126: Something you hate about Tumblr: nothing really 127: Something you love about Tumblr: takes my mind off everything 128: What do you think about the least? everything i shud be thinking about 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? something super funny that i cant think of rn 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? John cena bc i think he’d find it funny 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Inability to fake happiness  132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? sometimes! 133: Computer or TV? computer bc its both 134: Do you like roller coasters?  no 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? yes 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed bruh 137: Do you believe in karma? idk 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? strong 8.5! I don’t think im too shabby most of the time actually 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? kiwi 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? yes named Kiki  141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? plenty  142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Depends 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Receiving  144: What makes you angry? people not being nice really irks me 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? tag yourself im nonbinaries  147: Are you androgynous? i’d say  148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: lately it’s been my chest. it’s p hot 149: Favorite thing about your personality: I’m funny.  150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. uhh idk 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? the uhhh one w swords  152: Do you like BuzzFeed? ya 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] Tindeerrrrr  hah 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? uh idk 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? ya 156: What embarrasses you? a lot 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: when other people are noticably anxious  158: Biggest lie you have ever told: idk 159: How many people are you following? lots  160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? lots 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? like 50 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? like 3,000 ishhhh  163: Last time you cried and why: My birthday bc one of rayvens gifts was ....so ....fuckin..sweet 164: Do you have long or short hair? short 165: Longest your hair has ever been: long 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? It’s annoying lmfao 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Only bc im nosy 168: Do you like to wear makeup? no 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yup