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#you HAVE to reblog them because likes are WORTHLESS.
annoyinglibra · 2 years
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I’m so fucking sick of seeing people take a “neutral” stance on the heard/depp case. If any of you bitches pull the “oh I don’t actually know who’s in the right here :^)” I’m going to fucking kill you. Amber is very clearly the victim. Also if there are any depp supporters among my followers don’t unfollow - actively let me know so I can block you and never accidentally interact with you. Also kys.
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kiwi-bitchez · 2 months
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The Girlfriend Experience
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Eddie Munson x Reader
Summary: Eddie doesn’t think he’s cut out for dating. Self-resigned to a life of one and done hookups, you’re determined to make him see that he has the capacity to be a worthy companion… for when the right girl comes around. Fake Dating AU, classic corny fic for a fav corny troupe, Stranger Things canon divergent ofc, 18+ smut (see warnings below), big dick energy but also slightly emotionally unavailable!Eddie, yada yada yada, you know the drill. 
Content warnings: AFAB reader with she/her pronouns, use of y/n, alcohol, smoking the devil’s lettuce, mention of panty stealing, food consumption, semi-public sex, fingering, PIV, Dom-ish!Eddie, oral (m and f receiving), pierced dick Eddie because I said so!, unprotected PIV sex, hair pulling, mild angst but nothing too angsty just like one heated conversation and Eddie feeling a little worthless but happy ending I promise
Word Count: 20k ahhhhhh!!!
A/N: Thanks to all those who comment and reblog! Your feedback and engagement makes my heart soar and keeps me motivated to write this filth! Sorry for the gargantuan length, in very-me fashion I always ending up writing one behemoth fic every so often rather than just separating it out into chapters. Also, realizing after the fact that I use the brand name ‘Goodwill’ a lot in this fic, which maybe not everyone might know is a thrift store, not sure if that’s just an American thing or not but figured it was worth noting. 
“I guess I’m just not boyfriend material, ya know?” Eddie shrugs.
“Don’t say that, Eds,” your eyebrows pinched together, “different qualities are important to different people. Not everyone is looking to date a Steve, or a Brian, or a whoever. I’m sure someone is out there looking for an Eddie.”
“It’s not that,” he shot a look towards Steve, who, despite your analogy, was unfortunately everyone’s type and the textbook definition of boyfriend material.
“I just don’t think I’d be very good at gooey romance stuff, or even like, passable boyfriend behavior. I mean, look at me, I hardly take care of myself, I’m loud, I have no money, I’m basically every dad’s worst nightmare, do I need to keep going?”
“The nightmare thing can actually be a bonus,” Steve chimes in, “the whole bad boy persona can be a huge draw for most girls.”
“Sure Steve,” Eddie’s voice grows exasperated, “I’m the mysterious bad boy until they realize I’m a huge loser who runs not one but two dungeons and dragons groups. Real fuckin’ attractive I’m sure that is.”
“Shows you’re committed to something…” you trail off when his eyes tell you to stop coming up with a positive spin for every excuse he gives. 
This whole discussion had started because of something that happened at the bar last night. A small group of you decided to meet up for drinks, your usual group of pals. It was a Thursday, so the bar wasn’t too busy. Your friends all squished into a booth in the corner, chatting and catching up over a plate of shared nachos, when Robin started making frantic gesture at you and Steve.
“Please just say what you’re trying to say instead of this elaborate charade,” Steve makes a few mocking hand signals back at her.
“Okay, one at a time, and keep it subtle,” her voice lowered to a whisper, for some reason, “over at the bar, some girl is totally flirting with Eddie.”
You and Steve both turn around. “I said not at the same time!” She whisper yells. 
There was, in fact, a pretty girl with shiny hair and glossy lips doing a half fake laugh and pressing her manicured hand to Eddie’s bicep. You whip back around to find Robin with her mouth hanging open in a “can you believe this is happening” way. 
“Good for him,” Steve swivels back around too, “She’s pretty hot.”
You return to your nachos, pretending there wasn’t a ping of jealousy in you. Eddie was your friend, that had been made abundantly clear.
When Robin introduced you to all her friends from high school, you had easily gotten along with all of them. You especially got along with Eddie. He was funny, authentic, abrasive at times, but a truly good person at his core, creative, protective, you could go on.
After getting to know him a bit, and developing a budding crush, you had made a few passes at him. Nothing too forward, just small compliments here and there, open ended offers to hang out that never lead anywhere.
It’s not like he flat out rejected you, but any feelers you were putting out to see if there was potential there were met with him looking past your flirtatious intent and just being his goofy, friendly self. He treated you exactly the same way he treated everyone else, which was awesome, except for when it wasn’t. 
“Oh no,” Robin’s gaze was not subtly fixed on the unfolding scene at the bar, you and Steve watched her face drastically shift from confused, to a cringe, to an eye roll.
Still half whispering, as if Eddie could even hear your corner of the bar, “He’s totally blowing it. DON’T both turn around at the same time again.” 
“Okay, so,” she starts before either of you can even confirm that you want to know, “she was totally laying it on thick, like you could see it from all the way back here. And he must have said something off putting, cuz all of a sudden she like went cold on him and pranced away. Shhhhh, okay okay, he’s coming back.”
She was acting as if she wasn’t the only one gossiping. You and Steve were innocent bystanders in all this. 
“WHAT was that?” She immediately blurts out when Eddie returns to his seat, fresh drink in hand. 
You and Steve share a side glance to sigh at Robin’s inability to be subtle, god bless her. Eddie shifts around awkwardly and lets out a forced dry laugh, taking a long sip from his drink before facing the wrath of a curious Robin. 
“Oh, that,” he gestures to the bar as if she could be asking about anything else, “some girl. Not sure.”
“Not sure? Eddie she was FLIRTING with you,” Robin all but yelled, causing Steve to scan the bar to see if the girl in question had landed somewhere within earshot. 
“I know that,” he hisses, “She just… wasn’t my type…”
“Okay sure, hot girl in a tube top and no bra isn’t your type, riiiiight,” Steve rolls his eyes.
“It’s just,” Eddie was so over this inquisition, “she asked if I wanted to get coffee.”
You, Steve, and Robin all give him a blank stare, trying to decipher what he could possibly have against getting coffee with a hot girl. 
“That’s like,” he gets defensive, detecting the wall of confusion facing him, “something people do on a date. Coffee is serious, and I’m not a very serious guy.”
“What do you mean ‘coffee is serious,’ coffee is like, as casual as you can possibly be?” Steve’s tone now emulated Robin’s from earlier, half whispering, half yelling, all scolding towards his friend. 
“That’s just not really my speed. Coffee dates and flowers and hand holding and all that,” he was avoiding eye contact with all three of you, “Yeah, she was hot, sure, and maybe if she had been like ‘hey lets go fool around in the bathroom’ then I wouldn’t be here having this lame ass conversation with you three. But I don’t do coffee dates, so I’m not gonna waste her time and pretend like I’m that sort of guy when I’m just not.” 
“Well good on you for not leading her on, cuz I’m sure you could have agreed to the coffee date and still gotten lucky in the bathroom,” Steve mumbles, and you smack the back of his head lightly to scold him. 
“So you only date girls who’ll fuck you in a bar bathroom the first time you meet?” You redirect your now equally scolding energy to Eddie.
“No!” He runs his hands through his hair, “I don’t date. Anyone, really. At all. Ever.”
“Oh,” you think for a minute, realizing in your few years of friendship you never had seen him with anyone, or heard him mention a romantic interest of any sort. 
Leading you to your present conversation, you and Steve continuing to question Eddie on his decision to reject the hot tube-top girl at the bar and why he felt like coffee was such a scary commitment. 
“You guys know me,” he continued to defend his stance, “If I took that girl out for coffee she probably would have picked some fancy hoity toity place and I wouldn’t know what anything on the menu meant, I’d probably spill something or like, get crumbs everywhere, and the bill would be way more than two coffees should be. It would have been a waste of both our time.”
He was staunchly refusing eye contact with the two of you, knowing he’d be met with something along the lines of pity. 
“Fine, we’ll drop the subject,” you shoot a look to Steve, “but I just need to make sure you understand that not every girl likes expensive coffee, or flowers and handholding, or whatever your expectation of girls and dating is. There’s plenty of girls who have similar interests to you, who feel the same way about PDA and mushy romance stuff that you do. You do know that, right?”
“Of course I do, y/n,” you could practically feel his eyes rolling at you, “but girls like that sure as fuck aren’t here in Nowhere, Indiana. Even if she was, I’m sure I’d still find a way to fuck it up given that I’ve had exactly zero serious girlfriends and the closest thing to a date I’ve ever been on is when you me and Steve pooled our ski ball tickets to win that ugly stuffed turtle.”
The memory of what you had all agreed to be the world’s ugliest stuffed animal caused all of you to crack a smile. Steve had silently agreed to change the subject, not wanting to dig Eddie any deeper into his pit of self despair. 
Steve’s mouth was half open, about to suggest that the three of you have a smoke and watch one of the rental movies he brought over, the words just about to escape him when you harshly cut off any chance at ending the pity-party.
“Date me!” You exclaim, without much thought. The shocked look from both boys caused you to rapidly back pedal , “You can date me, as practice!” You said it as if it was the simplest concept in the world. 
When met with gaping mouths and confused stares you continue on, “You and I can be fake boyfriend-girlfriend for like, a month, and I’ll tell you everything you do wrong, and like generic do’s and don’t’s, so that way the next time some hot girl hits on you, you can be all like ‘Coffee isn’t really my thing pretty lady, but I’d be down to get drinks sometime’,” you did a silly impression of Eddie’s voice, and then switched to a high pitched one to impersonate what you assumed the girl at the bar sounded like, “and then she’d be all like, ‘Oh yeah that sounds greaaaaat, getting coffee is just like, a generic catch-all thing that most people say when they want to get to know someone better, but you can buy me a drink’ and then the two of you will ride off into the sunset and it’ll be great.”
Still no reply.
“It won’t be all romantic and gooey, I promise I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. It’d be a way for you to get some honest feedback and catch up with the stuff most people have to learn the hard way.” 
“I suppose you are the most brutally honest person I know,” Eddie doesn’t sound convinced. 
Steve just looked between the two of you with eyebrows raised, not knowing if giving his opinion on the matter would be appreciated or not. “I guess I would’ve appreciated someone telling me that most girls don’t want to be asked out with a pickup line from a John Hughes movie, would have saved me a few dozen rejections.”
“I’m pretty sure Robin did tell you that…”
“I don’t know y/n,” Eddie scratches his head. 
“It’ll be easy. Ask me out.”
“Huh?”
“Ask me out, for practice, ask me out on a date like I’m a pretty girl you met at some metal show or a DnD convention or something like that,” you stand in front of him with your hands out as if to prompt him to say something. 
“Will you go out with me?” He sounds more like he’s asking himself if he even wants to be asking the question.
“No.”
“What the hell!” He throws his hands up.
“I said no because that wasn’t a very good effort. Go out where? To do what? You’re asking me, a pretend stranger, out on a date Eddie, not if I want to go have a smoke with you.”
“Ughhhh,” he spun around and tried to get some sympathy for Steve, who unfortunately was on your side with this one. 
“A compliment or two doesn’t hurt as well,” Steve added, deepening Eddie’s groan. 
“Hey pretty stranger lady,” his voice was laced with sarcasm, but at least it wasn’t disdain, “you seem really…” he hesitated to find his words, “cool? Would you like to come see my band play this weekend at The Hideout? We-“
“No,” you cut him off.
“WHA-“
“Eddie, you can’t ask a girl to watch Corroded Coffin play for your first date with her, that’s like date four or five material, no girl wants to go sit by herself at a bar to watch some guy she just met play an hour of heavy metal. She would have to know you a little bit more for that to feel organic. Pick something more generic, like coffee.”
“I think you seem cool, would you like to get coffee with me?” it all came out as one monotone mumble from him. 
“Sure,” you wait for him to lift his head up to make eye contact with you, “But coffee isn’t really my thing, maybe we can go out for drinks?”
“Oh fuck off,” he flopped back onto the couch next to Steve. 
“See, now we have our first fake date, and then you can ask me to be your fake girlfriend, and then you’ll be so comfortable with emotional vulnerability that you can find a real girlfriend to take on real dates.”
“Yeah, I suppose it could be beneficial,” Eddie was slowly coming around to the idea. He knew that he was oddly charismatic at times, but he was just always too self conscious to follow through with the whole romance thing.
This maybe wasn’t a bad idea, because he knew you weren’t the kind of person who would make fun of his hobbies, or put him down if he slipped up, the sorts of things he was always afraid of girls doing. Sure, he’ll agree to the girlfriend experience. 
After a night of movies and pizza with Steve fake-third-wheeling, you made sure Eddie knew that the fake-date was actually happening, that the two of you would go out for drinks this weekend as your first official practice date. 
After giving it a bit of thought, you realized that you and Eddie had never hung out alone. In your feeble attempts at flirting with him all those months ago you had invited him to have movie nights or grab a bite to eat, but he always showed up with Steve and or Robin in tow.
As the night of the fake-date rolled around, you’d be embarrassed to admit it to him, or Steve, who didn’t care to hide how skeptical he was about this whole idea, that you went through your normal pre-date routine. You took some extra time on your hair and makeup, exfoliated in the shower, chose an outfit you felt confident in, added a few spritz of perfume for good measure too. 
Eddie rolled up in his van, only a few minutes late, but a few minutes was very impressive compared to his typical chronic tardiness. The two of you agreed to just grab some food and drinks at your usual spot, considering you and Steve openly agreed that it would be a good first date spot in theory. 
“Hey,” he reaches across the center console to pop the door open for you, “you look nice.”
It took you a second to register as you settled into the passenger seat, and then whip around with your arm outstretched to give him a high five. He scrunches his face at you.
“High five me Eddie, that was really good! I know you usually open the door for me anyways, but the compliment right away, A+,” you flop your hand down to gently slap his, still gripping the steering wheel. 
“Don’t patronize me, y/n,” deep down he knew you weren’t trying to talk down to him, and deep down he hadn’t even given complimenting you a second thought, he really did think you looked great in your date get-up. 
On the ride over to the bar, the two of you discuss some logistics. Considering all of this is just practice dating, you don’t expect Eddie to pay for you, but you explain that in theory if he had been the one to ask you out then he should be the one to pay for the first date. 
“To me it’s less of a gender thing and more of a who asked out who thing, but I know some people would abide to the stereotypical ‘the man always pays’ standard, which is why you’d just have to be honest on date like two or three about what you enjoy doing and what sorts of things are in your budget. You can still have fun and be thoughtful without spending a lot of money.”
He asked a few questions, like if he should have gotten you flowers for a first date, or what he should do if someone asks to go to a fancy restaurant that he surely couldn’t afford. You tried your best to give solid advice, but always reminded him that every person is different and every relationship is different, so all he can do is be honest. 
You take up a spot at the bar and both order for yourselves, splitting some fries and slipping into some easy conversation. 
“Am I supposed to, like, beat someone up if a guy tries hitting on you in front of me or something like that?” you nearly choke on your drink at his question. 
“Eddie, no,” you answer, also questioning, “why the hell would you ask me that?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “My buddy Jeff was with his girlfriend at this punk show before they were even together, and some guy made a creepy comment to Amanda and Jeff just decked the guy in the face. He say’s that’s what made her want to date him, cuz he defended her honor or whatever.”
“I guess that’s sort of circumstantial, but I prefer my dates to not engage in any sort of violence,” you sip your drink, “even if it’s for my honor. I’d like your face a lot less if you were all bruised up.”
“Well I never said I would get hit,” the two of you were laughing a bit now.
Over a few cocktails you went over some first date etiquette with him. PDA and being touchy, how to follow her lead and gauge if she’s the type who wants everyone at the bar to know you’re together, or keep it strictly platonic to start. How far of a grip on the leg is too far up, that sort of thing.  
“So if she does something like this,” you fake laugh a bit too loud and, lean into his personal space, and then run your hand from his slender down his arm, “that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to fuck you, but it’s pretty close. You’ve at least got a green flag to get a little closer to her, tell her she looks nice, maybe offer to buy her a drink.”
“I know how to tell if someone finds me attractive, y/n, I’m not stupid,” he said casually, “obviously that girl the other night was hitting on me, I’m not blind. I wasn’t going to ask to buy her a drink or try and get lucky in the bathroom because I was out with my friends. I can find a quick fuck in a bar on my own time. I was having fun with you guys, I wasn’t going to abandon all of you to talk to some stranger, even if she was hot.”  
“Oh,” you processed his comment, “Steve would be happy to know he ranks above tube-top girl.”
“Steve would be happy to be above tube-top girl in any context,” he jokes. 
“You really just find random girls in bars to fuck?” You question, not in any sort of judgmental way, just curious. 
“Not specifically, I guess I did make myself sound like some serial bar-bathroom type of guy. I never really had girls interested in me when I was in high school, at least the first four years of it. Then when we started playing regular gigs at The Hideout it was a little easier to find girls who were interested, but it was always that they were more into fucking some guy who could play guitar and was in a band, so it usually just always happened on-site, probably cuz they had an actual boyfriend or husband to go home to. Girls think I’m fun. Which isn’t untrue, I do enjoy a romp in the Hideout bathroom, or the back of my van, or wherever we end up.”
“So that’s what all those blankets are back there for,” you say with a fake scowl, referring to his van set-up. 
“Not exclusively! They make a cozy nest for smoking blunts and listening to tapes too!” 
You return to your drink, trying not to think too hard about the girls that Eddie brings to bar bathrooms or his van or wherever. 
“I just find the energy of those situations very different from like, talking and getting to know someone. Fucking is easy. I’m not interested in ruining that by adding emotions and the looming feeling like sex is contingent on me acting a certain way or checking a certain number of boxes for someone.” 
He shrugged, and you could understand where he was coming from, sometimes a quick fuck or hookup could be cathartic and easy. But it also saddened you to think that Eddie believed he had to get in and out before the person on the other end got the chance to know him. 
Moving away from the subject of his inability to be emotionally vulnerable, the two of you practice some cheesy ‘first date’ questions as you had called them. As your drinks started to settle into your system you were having more fun being silly with him, pretending to be a stranger on a first date. 
“When’s your birthday?” You ask, twirling your drink straw with your finger and making some fake flirty eyes at him to accentuate the facade of asking him a bunch of questions you mostly knew the answers to. 
“August 9th,” he flips his hair over his shoulder, joining in on your fake ostentatious flirting. 
“Oh my gosh, a Leo! This will never work out, cuz I’m an asparagus…”
The two of you nearly fall out of your bar stools laughing, realizing you meant to say Sagittarius. 
“Okay, let’s get you home Asparagus,” he helped you up, having kept his drinking to a minimum so he could drive you home. 
“Wait, wait,” you grabbed his arm as the two of you exited the bar, “can we go back to your trailer?”
He raised an eyebrow at you, “that’s a little presumptuous for a first date missy.”
“No, no, this isn’t girlfriend y/n asking, just regular friend y/n, who thinks it would be a lot of fun to smoke and watch a movie without Steve there spewing all his annoying fun facts, like, we get it, you read the little insert inside the tape while you were bored at work!”
Eddie did agree that the idea of packing a bowl and watching a few movies with you didn’t sound too different from what his plans would have been otherwise, so he agreed, as long as you promised not to give him any dating advice while hanging out as friend y/n and not girlfriend y/n. 
Although you promised to try your best, you immediately started lecturing him on t-shirt borrowing and the potential weight that could hold in a relationship when he offered to give you some more comfy clothes to change into. 
“It’s important to know!” You emerged from the bathroom in one of his oversized shirts and a pair of boxers, “Some girls are very touchy about it. Any shirt you lend her to sleep in, you have to be willing to sacrifice for life.”
“For life?!” Eddie finishes making a bowl of popcorn for the two of you, swallowing his words when he sees you in his clothes, an unidentifiable emotion rising in him at the sight of you so cozy and integrated into his space. 
“Well maybe not life,” you plop down onto the couch, “but do NOT ask for it back. Most girls will give it back once it stops smelling like you.”
“If she gets my shirt, can I have her underwear?” He asked without thinking, the weed he had just smoked with you hitting him a bit too hard in that moment. 
“Oh my god,” you squeal and bury your face into a pillow, “la la la la, pretending like I didn’t hear that!”
“I’m just saying!” He laughs at you, now curled up into a ball, “fair is fair, right?”
“I guess it depends on the girl,” you mumble. 
“So I’m guessing not you, by your reaction.”
“Eddie!” You smack him with a pillow, “I don’t know, no one’s ever asked!”
“If my girlfriend isn’t going to ask before stealing my shirt for an indefinite amount of time, I think that gives me panty privilege.”
“Wow Eddie, if I had known you were such a perv I would’ve reconsidered being your fake girlfriend,” you say sarcastically, with no real judgement behind it. The idea of him wanting to steal your underwear dampens them ever so slightly. 
“Don’t worry babe, I won’t do anything pervy to you unless you ask nicely,” he shoots a wink at you, which you meet with an eye roll and a turn away to hopefully hide the heat rising in your cheeks. 
The two of you carry out your platonic movie night as planned. You suppressed any urge to note on his actions from a romantic lens, and he ignored the itching desire to sling his arm around your shoulder or pull your legs into his lap to get more comfy on the couch. 
“Can I sleep here Eddie,” you ask after movie two, “too sleepy to move.”
“Sure, I can take the couch and you can have my bed. It’s been a minute since I washed the sheets but it shouldn’t be too bad…”
“Nonono,” you mumble, “Your legs will totally hang right off the end of this thing. I’m conked out anyways, I can crash right here I promise.”
“Ignoring that you’re my fake girlfriend, I’m not letting you sleep out here on this lumpy thing. You’re taking the bed, no arguments.”
He helps you up from the couch, letting you keep the blanket that’s wrapped around you, snaking his arm underneath it and pulling you from the couch by your lower back. You were slightly taken aback by his assistance, body still limp from your relaxed state, your torso easily arching into his. Your arms fly up to grab his shoulders, steadying yourself with an awkward giggle. 
“In the real world, a time like this would be good for a first kiss,” you make note of your closeness, the way he swept you up off the couch and held you steadily as you made your way to your feet. 
“I know that, y/n,” his face was closer to yours than it had ever been, making your words hitch in your throat. 
“Well, I’m just saying,” you turn your head to avoid the tension, “I’m sure the way you kiss your bar-hookups isn’t the way most girls who’re looking to date you long term want to be kissed for the first time.”
‘Oh yeah? And how do you presume that goes?” He kept his hand planted on your lower back.
You pretend to act wildly drunk, throwing yourself at him and letting your limbs go a bit heavier than they already were. “Ohmygod guitar man, I’ve had like, six dirty Shirleys, please finger bang me in the bathroom,” you slur your words and let your tongue loll out the side of your mouth as if to lean in for the world’s sloppiest and most uncoordinated kiss.
“First of all,” his voice was very serious, “I don’t hook up with girls who are too inebriated to stand, let’s get that straight. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t even have our first fake kiss like this on account of the drinking and smoking, gotta make sure you’re in the right headspace. Secondly,” 
He spins you around and quickly backs you up against the wall that stood a few feet behind the couch. His hand sliding up in between your shoulder blades, blanket now slumped around your waist, his other hand suavely cupping the side of your cheek, His hips angled into yours, pinning you back against the vinyl, almost collapsing back into it. 
He pressed against you, not aggressively, but enough to let you know that if you were to try and squirm away he had the capacity to keep you right where he wanted you. He accomplished this all in one elegant motion, leaving you a bit dazed.
As you started to snap into reality, he moves his hand from your cheek down to grab your chin in between his thumb and the knuckle of his pointer, angling your face directly up at him. 
“If you were some girl in a bar, it would be like this.”
The moment before your brain turned to absolute mush, you silently cringed at the thought of what you must look like, mouth hanging open, eyes glassed over, body instinctively sinking into his touch. Pathetic, you were sure of it. 
Sure, Eddie did think you looked a little helpless, but he also thought you looked perfect. Exactly as he had imagined you to in this situation. Of course he had thought about you before, like that.
Of course he had felt an immediate spark with you when you had first met. But he never flirted back, or lead you on, because as much as he was attracted to you and enjoyed your company, he knew that it wouldn’t work out. He wasn’t relationship material, and you were the picture perfect girlfriend that he didn’t deserve. 
He spoke directly into your parted lips, mouth hovering just far enough away to toe the line of ‘holy shit, is he going to?’ But no, as he made very clear, he wouldn’t kiss you under these conditions. He had made his point, and slowly backed off and let you find your footing. 
As soon as he was sure that you were steady, he backed away and started down the hallway. 
“I might have an extra toothbrush stashed away somewhere, let me look…” he ducked into the bathroom, leaving you stunned in the kitchen, head swimming and your stomach traveled up into your throat. 
He was teasing you, he must be. That was his little way of getting back at you for thinking you could give him dating advice. If he was unsure about his capacity for romance, he was going to make sure you knew he was more than capable in other ways. Understood. 
You shook your head, weeding through your inner monologue of how he could possibly look at you like that and then just walk away. Your shock gave him just long enough for you to to not notice him splashing cold water on his face in the bathroom while he “looked for a toothbrush.” 
The two of you decided to ignore the lingering tension from the events in the kitchen, not a peep of fake-girlfriend talk from you for the rest of the night. He did find you that toothbrush, and the two of you moved through a too-easy domestic routine of getting ready for bed. 
You told him that you wouldn’t be able to sleep if you knew he was cramped on that couch, and that you were fine with sharing a bed. You mumbled something about  getting around to bed sharing etiquette at some point anyways, and sleepily pulled him into being your little spoon. 
Eddie lay there, trying not to twitch or fidget, relaxed as best he could into your cuddled form thinking about how horrible of an idea all of this was. He was convinced all it would take is roughly ten more minutes of you burying your face into his hair and making cute little sleepy noises for him to fall irreversibly in love with you. 
But what was he supposed to do? Move and wake you up? Never. 
You rolled around enough in the night to wake up in a less intimate position than when you had fallen asleep. You knew Eddie was a deep sleeper, and took it upon yourself to creep out of bed and back into your day clothes, make a pot of coffee, and watc a bit of TV before he roused and joined you in the living room. 
“Why didn’t you wake me?” He rubbed the crust from his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to see you had brewed a whole pot of coffee to share. 
“You looked so peaceful and cozy,” he shook his head at you, as if that was no excuse for letting him sleep an extra forty minutes.  
After a slow morning, he agrees to drive you home. 
“So this is the part where I say ‘Eddie, I had such a wonderful time on our date. I’d love to do it again sometime.’ And then you agree and tell me when you’re free. It’s best to be super direct and make plans to get together again soon, cuz then it’s not an awkward who’s-gonna-call-who-first sort of thing.”
“Uh-huh…” he stares at you blankly. 
“But for our sake, let’s just agree that I’m in charge of planning our next date. Okay? I’ll do it from the perspective of what I think most girls would enjoy, so you can steal it for the future. I’ll call you later.” 
You hop out of his van before he can agree, and leave him with a “Thanks for letting me stay over!” As you bound away from his view. 
He squeezed his eyes shut the moment he caught himself checking your ass out as you walked away, and let his head rest down on the steering wheel. He was fucked. How the hell was he supposed to tell you that you needed to stop being his fake girlfriend without disrupting the homeostasis of your friendship?
On one hand he could lie and say he doesn’t want your advice, making you think he didn’t enjoy your company, which was entirely untrue. On the other hand he could tell you the truth, and you would never be friends the same way again. 
He drove home with the music too loud, and patiently awaited your call later that evening to iron out the details of your second fake-date. 
Per your instructions, he let you pick him up this time with the argument that you were the one taking him out this time. He didn’t know what you had planned, but let himself fall to the mercy of whatever you had decided was an exemplary date fore him to ‘steal in the future’. 
You picked up two coffees and rolled up to the trailer park, popping a mix-tape he had made you ages ago. 
“Hey, I thought we said no paying for each other with fake-dating,” he objects to the coffee sat in the passenger cupholder, some abomination of mostly cream and sugar, the way you know he likes it. 
“Yes, that’s true, but you smoked me up the other night, and this coffee was like a dollar fifty, so don’t worry about it,” you give him a look that tells him to drink the damn coffee and not sass back, to which he complies, even though he smokes you up expecting nothing in return about every other weekend. 
The two of you sip away and listen to Eddies ‘must-know-to-be-my-friend’ mixtape and arrive shortly at the strip mall across town. This was a regular weekly stop for both of you, the strip of connected stores containing the Goodwill, a pet store, the pharmacy, and grocery. A pretty mundane collection. 
“Okay, what are we doing at Greg’s?” Eddie gestures to the grocery store, the back of his mind running through the grocery list he’s been making for this week anyways.
“What’s the perfect date?” You ask, and answer for him, “a romantic picnic. But gathering supplies is half the fun. Picnic food supplies at Greg’s, some pills to get fucked up at the pharm, some turtles or something to let loose into the wild from the pet store, and then hats, cups, blanket, etcetera from the Goodwill.”
He turns to you with the most bewildered stare, which sends you into a fit of giggles.
“Okay, I’m joking about the pills and the turtles,” you nudge his arm, “but won’t it be sweet to get together some picnic supplies and then drive out to lookout point? We can still swing by the pet store to check out the ferrets though.”
To Eddie, the idea of a date involved him doing something he didn’t want to do, some awkward small talk, and spending money on shit he truly thought was useless. This didn’t sound half bad. You would “work backwards so the food purchases come last” according  to your reasoning, and he followed you in tow without any arguments into the Goodwill.
“So I’m thinking…” you start to wander into the aisles of used clothes and knick knacks, “maybe a blanket? A basket would be sort of corny, but if we find one for cheap I don’t see why not. Surely two glasses for drinking, and maybe some sun hats?”
Swiveling back around to see a half stunned Eddie, who was still processing how in the hell this was your idea of a romantic date, you grab his hand and pull him to the bric-a-brac section. 
After it got through his thick skull that the same place he had uncomfortably tried on new pants throughout his growth spurt, and picked up his daily-worn leather jacket, had the same potential to provide some silly, cheap, used items to add some flair to this picnic. 
Silly and cheap was right up Eddie’s alley. The two of you picked out mismatched champagne glasses, one with the engraved name of a couple who got married in 1943 and the other a flashy rose color with baby angel carvings dancing around the sides. 
You luckily find an on sale beach blanket, and the two of you pick out some very goofy sun hats. A floppy farmers hat for you, and a bedazzled trucker hat spelling ‘hot mama’ for Eddie.
Through the midst of your giggles and debate on whether you should buy a wooden bench to bring out to your picnic destination, Eddie found himself having a really good time with you. 
As promised, you visited the pet store and checked out the ferrets and fish and geckos. 
“If you could have any pet, what would you want?” You asked him, noses pressed against the chinchilla enclosure. 
“Jaguar,” he said, a little too quickly.
“For real, dummy,” you knock your hip into his.
“I don’t know, we never had enough space or extra money for pets growing up, so maybe someday if I had enough room for it to run around I’d like a dog or something,” he tells. Eyes still transfixed on the chinchilla behind the glass. 
“I can see that,” you imagine Eddie with some mutt from the shelter, wrestling around and giving it lots of scratches behind the ears. 
Skipping the pharmacy, you pop into the grocery store and assemble what may be the world’s most eclectic picnic. 
“That’s the definition of a picnic, I’m pretty sure,” you explain after Eddie insinuated that the gingersnap cookies you grabbed, along with grapes and a block of cheese, wasn’t exactly a meal, “you know, just a smorgasbord of whatever we want!”
Admittedly, Eddie had considered a handful of pretzels and a beer to be dinner on more than one occasion, so he couldn’t argue with you. Quickly catching your drift, the two of you picked out an assortment of snacks and some ingredients for pb&j sandwiches. 
“I thought picnics were supposed to be classy?” Eddie holds up the Wonder bread and bag of potato chips with a look that suggested his question was rhetorical.
Your response was simply to raise the, admittedly cheap, bottle of champagne you grabbed to accompany with your meal, more for the irony of drinking the bubbly liquid out of your new used glasses with your sticky sandwiches than anything else. 
You pack your supplies into a tote bag, not having found a suitable basket at the thrift store, and drive across town to a dirt paved road that leads to a nice lookout point with a view of the lake. 
“Let’s walk down the path a little bit, but not too far,” you grab the blanket and tote bag from your trunk, motioning for Eddie to put on his ‘hot mama’ hat and carry your other auxiliary supplies, “I do not fuck with bugs.”
“I’ll protect you,” Eddie puffs out his chest, making you both giggle.
“From bugs?”
“Yeah, I’ll punch a mosquito right in the face, to defend your honor and all that.”
“I know I told you not to do that, but a mosquito might be the exception to the rule.”
You found a nice little clearing not far from the car, a spot that still had a nice view but was a bit more secluded. Eddie sat pressed right up next to you, making your sandwich ‘to be a proper gentleman’ but simultaneously spilling a glob of jelly onto your leg.
“Shit,” he doesn’t think twice before leaning down and slurping the grape flavored blob off of your bare knee, tongue poking out and licking the spilt jelly from your skin.
“Eddie!” You squirm away, barking out a surprised laugh. 
“What! Your knee is clean, wouldn’t want to waste perfectly good preserves, or a napkin.”
You feel your skin tingle where his lips had touched you, for only a moment, but you still felt it. He was so confident and casual in his movements, not having any hesitation to grab your hand or brush your hair out of your face. It wasn’t under the guise of fake romance, he had always been like that. Not touchy, per se, just sure of himself. You’d never seen Eddie do anything half assed, that’s for certain.
After the conversation you shared the other night, you were unable to stop your mind from wandering to thoughts of what Eddie does with those girls in bars, if he touched him with the same confidence and sureness he put into everything else he did. 
It was wrong to let your mind go to such dirty places about someone you considered a friend, but you couldn’t manage to feel any guilt. He had offered that information freely, so who were you to punish yourself for staring a little longer at his fingers, conjuring up the context in which he’d bury them inside you against some grimy bar bathroom. 
The date was all peanut butter smiles and bubbly laughter that floated up into the trees. Silly, yes, but neither of you could deny there was something sweet, maybe even romantic about it. A cheap meal in the woods shared between two friends in ill-fitting fifty cent hats, but an undeniable touch of romance lingered nonetheless. 
Eddie started to realize that maybe the whole dating thing wasn’t as uptight and scary as he had initially thought. It could be easy and fun, with the right person. And fuck, if he could even imagine doing this with anyone but you. 
Like most things Eddie did, he did not consider any potential consequences before acting. You looked so pretty sitting there in the sunshine, sipping from your cheap ‘Martha & Dave ’43’ glass, a few sandwich crumbs dotting the corner of your mouth.
What else was he supposed to do other than lean over and wipe them away with his thumb, stroking your soft cheek and feel the warmth of your skin beneath his palm. 
“You had some,” he uses his other hand to motion at his own mouth, “and I suppose this is the sort of moment where I’d ask if I can kiss you.” 
You find yourself a bit dumbfounded, his big stupid hand on your cheek and those big stupid puppy dog eyes unrelenting in making everything he says seem so genuine.
“Are you?” You find your voice, only half embarrassed at how shy it comes out.
“Am I what?”
“Are you asking me?”
“Yeah,” his answer comes out in a way that insinuates that he never meant anything other than that, that he was always asking to kiss you, he wasn’t asking in theory, in another universe, in the context of advice. 
“Okay,” you found yourself behaving like Eddie, not really thinking of consequences before your words and actions spoke on behalf of your instincts.
Everything so far had been so easy. Your fake first date at the bar, curling up next to him in a haze, making up stories about what sort of people donated the fake palm tree or the Garfield mug at the Goodwill, imagining Eddie running around a yard with a puppy, lounging in the grass and eating your assorted picnic snacks. It was all effortless.
Suddenly, being kissed by Eddie sucked the ease from your lungs and sent your mind spiraling into a cacophony of bells and whistles and giant swirling red flags. If this is how he kissed you, casually across some half eaten peanut butter sandwiches, you’d spend the rest of your days yearning to know how he kissed someone with true intention. 
Of course, his intentions were all there, but the lingering knowledge that all of this was happening under the umbrella of “you giving him advice” or “helping practice for the next girl” poisoned any true feeling he poured into it. He cupped your cheek, soft, let his lips press into yours delicately for a moment before he felt your breath hitch, opening his mouth just enough to deepen the kiss and capture your lower lip fully. 
He was more careful, gentle, methodic with his movements and so receptive to every little signal your body gave him, it was unlike any first-kiss, heat-of-the-moment-kiss, in-the-throws-of-passion-kiss, any of it. Like hell you’d ever tell him that, inflate that big ego that fuels his snippy comebacks at you, but Jesus, was it remarkable. 
While at war with yourself internally, your heart was on the precipice of exploding in your chest from the way he snaked his hand into your hair and pressed his forehead against yours to catch a breath. You suck in a sharp breath and feel that stupid cocky smirk creep up onto that pretty mouth of his.
“’S that sufficient for a first kiss?”
“Fuck offfff,” you were still a little out of breath, smacking his chest and flopping back down onto the picnic blanket, throwing your arms up and rolling your eyes at him, “if you’re so damn confident, maybe we just should fake break up, cuz you don’t seem like you need my advice.”
“Nooooo,”he slumps down next to you, burrowing his head under your arm so he can pop up right next to your face, “I’m learning a lot, I promise! This date was so fun, and cheap! I would have never thought any of this could be remotely romantic. I’m hopeless, y/n, look at me.”
He wriggles around and gives you a big fake pout, “If left to my own devices I would probably do something horribly embarrassing or off-putting, like…” he digs his head into the crook of your neck and blew a fat, wet raspberry right into your skin, making you yelp and squeal, but his position half on top of you pins you down. 
“See!” He pulls up for air, you were in a fit of screaming giggles, “I’d go right in for a kiss and just,” and he does it again, leaving you gasping for air, trying your best to tickle his ribs to get him off of you, but not minding the close contact by any means. 
“Now I’m not so sure,” he pulls back to give you a minute to catch your breath, “it seems like you enjoyed that, so maybe survey says I should pull that move on the ladies.”
Your airy laughter subsided, but he stays half pinning you down to the blanket and the lumpy grass underneath.
“I didn’t mean to give you the impression that I’m not grateful for your help,” he says earnestly, catching your gaze, “it’s just… this isn’t what I need help with.”
As his statement is processing, you find his lips back on yours, his torso pressed flushed with yours and his wild mane of hair coming down to curtain around your head. He doesn’t take it too far, but kisses you as earnestly as he had before, giving your lip a slight drag with his teeth and running his hand up from your hip up the side of your ribcage, leaving you arching slightly into him by pure instinct.
Before your head got too dizzy again, before you could really throw yourself into it and say fuck it and kiss him back the way you secretly wanted to, he pulled back.
“That.” his voice was even, you hated how needy you felt and how even keeled he could be milliseconds after stealing the air from your lungs, “It’s the rest of it,” he threw his hands up and gestured to all the food and knock knacks around you, “it’s this stuff that you make seem so easy, so forgive me if I lay it on a little thick when we get to the parts I’m actually good at.”
“Just,” you sat up a bit, grounding yourself and formulating a response despite your brain looping the past twenty seconds back infinitely, “don’t do that again.”
“Okay,” he sat back and popped a grape into his mouth, “sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” you knocked his knee with yours, struggling to articulate how you felt without showing too much of your hand, deciding to just be candid, “I just- I liked that a little too much if you know what I mean. And this is strictly business, or education, maybe?”
“You liked it when I pinned you against the wall the other night,” he said matter of factly, “I think you liked that a little too much too, and you still took me on this fake educational business date.”
“Yeah, well, you caught me,” you threw your hands up in defense.
“Which one is it though?” He asks and you don’t quite understand, “are you a sweet kiss on the picnic kind of girl, or an up against the wall kind of girl?”
“That’s none of your business, as far as fake-dating is concerned,” you say a little too quickly, “and no you can’t have my panties.”
You say it with a smirk, but he doesn���t press any further. He turns and does that Eddie-thing he’s so good at, just changing the subject and shifting the vibe completely away from what might have been a stale moment or awkward pause. He starts asking if you like green or purple grapes better, going off about how he used to put them in the freezer as a kid. 
The remainder of your date went without a hitch, of course. You picked away at your picnic until the sun started to set, and once the sky started turning purple you made your way back to the car. The drive home consisted only of easy conversation and no further mention of the kiss, well, kisses that had transpired. He hopped out of the passenger seat with a ‘thank you’ and a ‘see ya later alligator.’ 
A scalding hot shower, a restless night of sleep, and too many cups of herbal tea the next morning did nothing to quell the noise in your head that blasted those moments over and over. You couldn’t stop picking apart whether he had thought about it for even a millisecond, and felt embarrassed that you could think of nothing else. 
It was simply an amplified version of what your whole friendship had been up until this point. You silently admiring him and wishing he would look at you the way you looked at him, and settling for friendship over heartbreak. 
Pushing it aside to the best of your ability allowed you to get through your week, but you had the lingering feeling that the next time you saw him would strike you with warm cheeks and a scrambled mental state.
Guilt had started to seep in at the corners of your mind, but you reminded yourself that you shouldn’t punish yourself for having romantic or sexual thoughts about someone you simply found attractive and compelling, it was your actions that would determine the validity of your guilt. 
“Long time no see, loser,” Robin hollered from the pool table across the bar, where she was likely kicking Steve’s ass. 
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” you shrug off your coat and plop down at their regular booth, knowing her jabs were entirely empty. You notice Eddie’s leather jacket hung up by the wall, and scan the bar to find him ordering a drink. 
There was a silent mutual understanding that you’d keep the fake dating thing to a bare minimum when out with your friends like this. Even though Steve was well aware, and therefore Robin was too, you figured tainting your social time with the performance of romance is the exact reason Eddie turned down the girl at the bar in the first place. 
“For the lady,” Eddie waltzes over and hands you a drink.
“Oh, thanks,” you take it with a confused smile, “you didn’t have to do that.”
“You bought me coffee last weekend,” he sat across the booth from you, “plus I’m trying to get better at buying drinks for pretty girls, right?”
You remind him that he doesn’t have to keep tabs on things like coffee, but you appreciate the gesture regardless. As per the past few times you’d been out with your friends, you expected him to put a pause on the flirting, but it seems to be bubbling over tonight. You weren’t complaining, but admittedly the arm around your shoulder or the noticeable way he checked you out when you got up to refill your drink took you by slight surprise. 
Sneaking in to claim the always occupied dart board for a challenge against Eddie while he uses the restroom, you keep your eyes on the corner of the bar to signal him over once he returns.
“You need a partner?” A man suddenly appears behind you, a little closer than you’d like but the bar was crowded, so you’ll let it slide. 
“Oh, I was just waiting for-“
“Let me fill in until your friend gets here, we can get you warmed up, yeah?” His tone wasn’t too pushy, but you didn’t love the look he gave you when making that comment.
Awkwardly staggering for a second, unsure weather to just agree or tell him to fuck off, “He really should be just a minute-“
“Or maybe less,” Eddie comes up right behind you and pulls you possessively into his side.
Your head whips up to see him with a devilish smile, his hand on your waist and the fire behind his eyes telling his guy to get lost.
“Oh, sorry man,” the guy starts backing away with an apologetic look.
“Yeah, better luck next time, pal,” Eddie snakes around to take the guy’s spot in front of the dart board.
He had his darts in hand and took his stance to start the match, gesturing for you to do the same. 
“What was that,” you ask with a slight joking tone, but seriously curious.
“What?” He doesn’t make eye contact and instead throws the first dart, “I’m not allowed to get fake jealous?”
“You’re allowed to feel any fake emotion you want, I guess,” your tone is somewhere in between a joke and a question. 
“You’d feel fake jealous if I was getting blown in the bathroom by some chick rather than playing darts with you, I bet.”
“Okay,” your tone shifts to defensive, “getting blown is very different than some guy asking to play darts with me.”
“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” Eddie turns to face you, having thrown all his darts, “for real.”
A moment lapsed where you didn’t register that your mouth was hanging open in disbelief, the look in your eyes Eddie immediately clocked as lust and bottled up to store away for a later time. 
“I knew the scary dog thing would work,” his ‘i-told-you-so’ tone rubbed you the wrong way, but he wasn’t wrong, “you said girls weren’t into that, but you totally looooove that I defended your honor.”
“Don’t give yourself too much credit, I said girls wouldn’t be into it if you punched him,” you rolled your eyes.
“I don’t know, babe, I think you liked the whole ‘back off of my woman’ act.”
You mumble out a ‘whatever’ and let him have this win, which he was clearly reveling in, trying to focus instead at beating him at darts. 
“Just don’t pull shit like that on a first date, acting too possessive off the bat is a huge red flag for a lot of women.”
“I thought we weren’t doing dating advice tonight?” You don’t even have to look at him to know he’s got that stupid sarcastic smile.
“Yeah I thought so too,” you fail at your attempt to beat him in darts, as well as your attempt to not flirt back with him. 
He insists on collecting all the darts, picking up the ones haphazardly strews across the floor from failed attempts to hit the board. 
“I’m no pro or anything, but I think you’d hit the board a lot more if you fixed your stance.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you flip him the bird and take back your red tipped darts. 
As you steady your arm to aim your first shot he comes up behind you and grabs your hips, causing you to let out an unexpected squeak. He adjusts your stance, not aggressively, but with some force, twisting your hips and using his big combat boot to sweep your foot around so you stood more sideways. 
“You’re standing straight on,” he backs up, allowing you to secretly catch your breath, “and all your shots are veering to the right. If you plant your feet more angled you’ll hit the board.”
You wanted to roll your eyes at him, miss on purpose to show him he’s full of shit. You flippantly toss the dart, not trying particularly hard, and it hits. Not a bulls-eye or anything like that, but a lot closer than your previous attempts had been. 
“Good girl,” he comments, leaning in to breech your personal space just enough to make your blood boil.
You drop the remainder of the darts in your opposite hand onto the floor and whip around to face him, half jokingly smacking him on the shoulder. 
“Oh my god, fuck off!”
You’re met with his trademark shit-eating grin.
Truthfully, Eddie hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off you all night. He’d spent the night after your picnic date with his hand in bis boxers, squeezing his eyes shut and remembering the little gasp you had made when he grabbed your waist, the hum in your throat that bubbled up when he kissed you pinned against the blanket, that night and every night since. 
“Oh, you don’t like that?” that joking tone he uses to cover up what he actually wants to say. 
“Shut up, you know I do,” you didn’t even try to stifle your reaction, knowing it was his intent to get under your skin.
“How would I possibly know that,” he playfully looks up at the ceiling and around the bar, hands clasped behind his back now, rocking back and forth on his heels.
“You better cut that shit out, unless you plan on doing something about it,” you manage the most assertive tone your wobbly insides could muster, a little shocked at yourself for actually saying what you were thinking. 
“I’m not much of a planner,” he gracefully takes a stance next to you and rips all three darts, not great shots, but all hitting the board, “I’m more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy, you know that.”
“Well your pants better make up their mind if you’re playing boyfriend tonight or not,” your insinuation was heavy but you had fumbled your hand, and he had already seen all your cards at this point, so there was no reason to bluff.
“The real question is,” he leans in, his imposing figure crowding your space in a way that made your head spin, “do you want me to play boyfriend? Or do you want me to play guy who fucks your brains out in the bar bathroom?”
Your eyebrows pinched together for a millisecond, and before he could decipher your expression you grabbed his hand and started storming through the crowds hoarded by the bar. Why the hell a seedy downtown bar has a single stall family bathroom with a changing table is beyond you, but you drag him inside and slam the lock down behind you. 
“You’re not allowed to treat me any differently after this,” you start to fall into the sinkhole of oh my god what the hell is about to happen, but are cut off by him pressing you against the closed door the exact way he had handled you against his kitchen wall that night weeks ago. 
“Not unless you want me to,” he doesn’t hesitate to get his mouth on yours, immediately pulling your mind from wondering what the vague sticky substance on the door pressing into your back could be. 
“I mean, you’re not allowed to fuck me and then never talk to me again,” you say in between moving lips and tongues, giving him a moment to bury his face in your neck, "Promise me."
“Oh don’t worry about that,” he pulls back, “we can go get coffee tomorrow and you can give me a full performance review. Promise.”
Your annoyed eye roll quickly turns into them fluttering shut as he licks a stripe up to the junction behind your ear that has you melted into a boneless puddle between his pressing hips and the door. He drags his teeth across your lobe while leaning into you with a black denim clad thigh.
“Why don’t we make a deal,” you let out, voice breathy and unfocused. Before he can even pull back to reply you continue, “if you’re half as good at this as you claim to be, and can make me cum in this dingy bathroom, I’ll let you take me back to your trailer and you can do whatever the fuck you want to me.”
He was leaning in to seal the deal with a kiss before he could even process your request, because yes of course, a million times yes he’s taking this deal. Despite the rouse of you playing bar hookup for the night, and despite the idea of bringing you back to his place and finally doing what he’s wanted since the day he met you absolutely terrifying him, he nods and kisses you. 
It’s electrifying. His confidence only spurs you on to kiss him harder, grip his hair a little tighter, say the things you would only imagine in the deepest parts of your mind. The feeling of his grin against your lower lip and his fingers quickly unbuttoning your jeans fuels your fire. 
“You sure you know what you’re getting into,” he mumbles playfully, pulling you away from the wall with a gasp and leading you over to the tiny built in counter against a mirror by the sink. 
“Well I’m certainly not letting you fuck me against any of these sticky surfaces,” you note as you’re lifted onto the counter covered in mystery substance, “and I think you need to earn it.”
Of course it was no surprise to you that Eddie was good with his fingers. You probably could have told anyone that long before this impromptu bathroom hookup. Egging him on and challenging him in a way you were sure he wasn’t used to was well worth abandoning your assumptions. 
“Oh yeah? I think, if you’re lucky, I’ll earn it more times than you can count before the night’s over,” he positioned himself in between your legs, pressing your torso into the mirror behind you as he leaned in for another heated kiss. 
He pulled your ass to the edge of the counter, and looped his thumbs into the waistband of your unbuttoned pants. You were quick to assume that he’d yank the fabric right off your legs, preparing to lift your ass from the counter to assist.
Eddie paused, pulled back and gave you a look that asked ‘you’re sure about this?’ and when a dreamy smile spread across your cheeks he melted into you with a kiss that turned your stomach inside out and made your pussy flutter.
He snakes a hand from its grip on your torso down into your unbuttoned pants. You arched up into his touch, wanting to urge him to get on with it and get your pants and underwear out of the way, but appreciating how much he seemed to be reveling in feeling you for the first time. 
“So fuckin wet,” he mumbled against your lips, his fingers only feeling up your cunt from outside your underwear. He pressed the fabric into your slick center, following the path up to your clit and then teasingly back down to where your panties were soaked through.
“You weren’t lying when you said you liked this a little too much,” he’s rolling his hips ever so slightly against your spread thigh as he rubs your clothed pussy, his teeth sinking into your lower lip as he moves the material aside and sinks two fingers right into your wet cunt with ease.
You were sure that you’d retrospectively have a million quippy compacks that come to mind, but in this moment it was impossible to come up with words when his fingers were buried inside you, still, just letting you squeeze around them, and his hard cock straining against his jeans nestled against the inside of your thigh.
He slowly drags his finger’s up from your hole to your clit, and you let out a whine of desperation as he fully removes his hand from your damp underwear. 
Before you can manage the breath to tell him to please, for the love of god, get on with it, he brings his fingers up to his lips and gives them a long suck, never breaking eye contact with you. 
“Yeah,” he sighs out and presses his forehead against yours, “I might like that a little too much too.”
Protests and urging words catch in your throat as he yanks down your pants and underwear with one quick pull, not even needing you to lift your ass off the counter more than it already was. He was methodical and moved with intention, folding up your pants neatly and shoving your soaked panties into his back pocket, shooting you a wink. 
“Eddie, please,” your overdue complaints are finally bubbling over. You hardly finish your plea before his face is buried in your neck, and his fingers are sliding right back into your needy hole. 
The top of your head rests against the mirror behind you, exposing your neck and arching your back into his touch. He sucks and nips at the soft skin between your collar bone and ear, all while letting his two middle fingers pump slowly into you.
“Mmmm,” he mumbles into the crook of your jaw, “such a good girl for me, perfect pussy squeezing my fingers so tight, can’t fuckin wait to feel you soak my cock.”
Nearly orgasming at his words alone, your eyes flutter shut and you let out a moan of his name as he lets his thumb drag circles across your clit. “Eddie, please, just like that, I-”
“Oh, suddenly she’s not questioning my abilities?” he says with a biting smirk, “What was that about me not being half as good as I think I am?”
“Fuck,” you want to raise an eyebrow and shoot something back, hold out and make him work for it, but after hardly two minutes of his fingers rolling inside you, hooked up to drag along that perfect fucking spot, you had no choice but to feed his ego and let him win. 
“You wanted to make your little deal,” he pumps a little faster, making your head loll to the side and mouth hang half open, “I’ll sweeten it for you, babe. I say we can get this pretty pussy to come twice all over my fingers before anyone even knocks on this door.”
“Yes,” is all you can squeak out, “yes, please.”
If Eddie was being honest, he was a few half-thrusts into your thigh short of coming in his own pants from how hot you looked. Your eyes glassed over, pretty lips parted and gasping his name, perfect cunt sucking his fingers in. 
The hand not occupied by your gushing cunt slid up to cup the side of your cheek, forcing you to look into his fiery eyes. “Feel’s good?” he questions, knowing the answer and not expecting a verbal response.
He drags the pad of his thumb up to your parted lips, running it along your plush bottom lip and dragging it down a bit, relishing in how under his spell you were. His thumb slips into your mouth and you immediately wrap your lips around it and suck. 
“Good girl,” his thumb on your clit is rubbing more focused circles, “suck on that and keep your voice down, don’t want the whole bar knowing what a good little slut you are for me.”
Jackpot. 
A muffled moan around his thumb and the spasming of your inner walls signaled that you were hitting your peak. He drags the spit slicked digit from your lips and quickly replaces it with his lips and tongue, kissing you with fervor as he feels you ride out your orgasm on his hand. 
“Mmmmmmm” you moan, somewhere between a pleading whine and a sigh of satisfaction into his lips as his fingers don’t let up. 
Under different circumstances you would tell him to slow down, give you a minute to catch your breath. Eddie was stubborn, this you knew, and he had already made it abundantly clear that one orgasm wasn’t going to be enough. 
He pulls back from your lips, loving the sharp intake of breath you swallow as your cheeks continue to flush and eyelids keep fluttering. 
“So fucking good, came all over my fingers,” his gaze locks in on where his hand was buried into your cunt. “Gonna give me one more?”
Of course you would, whether it was up to you or not. He did slow up for a second, just enough for you to regain your grip on reality before he started curling them up again. 
“Eddie,” you whine out, eyes nearly crossed and unable to focus your attention on his face, hands, anything other than his boner poking into your inner thigh, “wanna feel you.”
The hand formerly gripped tight onto the edge of the counter snakes forward and pulls his hip into you, a permanent indentation of his stiff cock molding against your skin. 
“Not yet baby,” he rolls his hips forward, giving you a delicious feel of how it would be if he was inside you, but instead pushing his fingers a touch deeper and then pulling his hips away, “one more and then I’ll take you home. You’re gonna let me ruin that perfect little cunt, right? That was the deal?”
“Yes,” you gasp out, his other hand moving from your hair down to rub fast tight circles on your clit, the other hand still pumping steadily inside you.
“That’s right, I know this pussy is gonna take me so well. You’re already drooling for my cock, so fucking perfect.”
You feel it building up again, that sacred double orgasm that only ever came during your alone time in the shower or when you were so desperate for release that your hand didn’t stop after the first, but never with another person, never like this. 
His smile nearly touched his ears at this point, pulling back to take in all of you as your eyes screwed shut and thighs threatened to break his wrist at how fast they snapped together. 
Hitting you like a punch to the gut, your abdomen tightened and released rapidly, air sucked from your lungs and his hand working you through it between your clenched thighs. 
Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea. 
If you were in a cartoon, stars and chirping birds would be swirling around your head as you slowly came back to reality. He gave you some space, and begrudgingly gave you pack your panties after you hand out your hand and gave him a stern look.
“I’m gonna go tell the others that you aren’t feeling great and I’m taking you home,” he makes sure you’ve pulled your pants back up before unlocking the door, “Take your time, and I’ll meet you at the van, okay? I’ll grab your stuff.”
“Yeah,” you still feel a little flustered, looking back into the mirror and smoothing down your hair, “thanks.”
He shoots you a wink before slipping out, giving you a moment to collect yourself and splash some cold water on your face. Okay, so you’re doing this. 
Any nagging feelings that this might ruin things or that he’s only teasing you because of your arrangement are quickly squished down into a deeper compartment of your brain, overtaken by the post orgasm bliss and wandering thoughts of what might happen next. 
You peek your head out of the bathroom door, and slink your way to the back door without passing your group table or a stray Steve or Robin. The fresh air equalizes your buzzing thoughts, and you spot Eddie, already in the driver’s seat of his van. 
“You good?” He asks as you hop into the passenger seat. You won’t let him have the upper hand, just because he made you come twice in under ten minutes. 
“Yeah,” you gather as much assertion as your voice will project, “You good?”
“F’course,” he starts backing up, you internally roll your eyes at the way his outstretched arm muscles and curved neck make your stomach flutter, “Just wanted to make sure I passed the test.”
You sit in silence, not wanting to give into the cocky game he clearly wants to play, yet know that he’s entirely correct in his assumption that he’s driven you completely crazy. Once he’s on the main stretch of road, finally rolling to a stop at a red light you let your hand migrate across the center console, dancing its way into his lap. 
As you hoped, his cock was still half hard and apparent underneath his jeans. You let your hand draw circles next to it, loving the little twitch you get when you run your nails against his thigh. 
“Easy there, tiger,” he lets out a huffed laugh, with just an edge to his tone that suggested you were getting yourself into something you’d soon regret. 
“C’mon Eds,” you let your head fall on the corner of the headrest, gaze angled over at his tight grip on the steering wheel while your hand dancing around the bulge in his pants, “you’ve been pushing this thing against my thigh for the past twenty minutes, forgive me for wanting a better feel.”
You put on a pretend pouty face and flash him your best puppy dog eyes to ward off any incoming snippy comments from him. He rolls his pretty eyes at you and silently bites the inside of his cheek as you feel up and down his lap, grazing his growing cock with each pass. 
“Forgiven,” through gritted teeth, he squeezes his eyes shut as your fingers circle around his head, now taking visible form beneath his black jeans. He internally reprimands himself for losing focus on the road, and zeroes his concentration on getting back to his trailer as fast as this van can take him. 
You have your fun watching him wiggle in his seat, feeling his thigh muscles clench under your palm every so often. You weren’t full on jerking him off over his pants, but you were certainly relishing in the feeling of his dick getting harder and harder with each occasional pass of your hand.
He parks diagonally across the lawn in front of his trailer, not giving a shit where the van ends up as long as it’s stopped. He wanted to dash around the vehicle and scoop you out of your seat, throw you over his shoulder and take you inside to continue with whatever this evening had in store for you.
The second his hand stalled on the clutch, shifting the van into park and taking a moment to let his mind wander to what would happen once he got you inside, you were already halfway out the van and skipping up the steps to his front door. 
Entering his trailer, you start taking off your coat and shoes, trying to act as normal as possible. Your facade of keeping it cool entirely shatters when he enters behind you, calmly clicking the door shut and patiently waiting for you to finish unlacing your boots.
You remain crouched down, darting your eyes up at him, deciding against being a brat and undoing your laces as slowly as possible to keep him waiting. Any caution you had was long swept away by the wind, and he’d taken control in your little bathroom tryst, so it was your turn to say fuck it and just do what felt right. 
And in this moment, there was only a few quick movements and about six inches of space between you and Eddie’s semi-hard dick. One shoe was only half off, haphazardly kicked behind you as you pivoted onto your knees and had your hands moving eagerly up his tensing thighs.
“Can I?” Your question was half formed and he was already nodding. 
You’d teased him enough on the ride over, you wanted him, now. Pants quickly unbuttoned and blue checkered boxers pushed down to his knees, and you were about to go feral and just go for it when a silver glimmer adorning his thick cock caught your eye.
Your mouth was already half open, but your jaw nearly unhinged and hit the floor when the pierced head of his dick falls out of his boxers and lands at your eye level. 
Unmoving, mouth agape, you look up to make eye contact, ripping your eyes away from the shock of two silver balls on his cockhead. He knew it was nice, he wouldn’t have bedazzled it if it wasn’t, but the look you were giving him sucked all the unwavering confidence from his body for a split second, suddenly feeling weak in the knees at the sight of you slowly sicking your tongue out, not making any contact but waiting. 
He took the base of his dick in his hand and gave it a few precautionary strokes before angling it down and slapping your wet tongue with the tip a few times. 
You were two and a half seconds away from being entirely fucked out. If he pulled away and asked you to crawl on all fours to him, you’d do it without a second thought.
You let him slide his cock gently against your outstretched tongue a few times before coming to your senses and wrapping your lips around him, moving your hand to replace his and move against the length that your mouth couldn’t yet reach. 
All it took was a few steady bobs of your head, hand twisting and eyes still focused upwards on his face, to have him biting his knuckle and looking up at the ceiling to ground himself to try and not bust on the spot. You love this, of course, seeing him visibly spiral paired with the salty taste of precum already leaking from him. 
The hand not jerking him off comes up to the back of his hip, gently pushing against him in tandem with the movements of your head, encouraging him to shallowly thrust into your mouth.
“Jesus fu-“ he grunts out, not wanting to overestimate your encouragement, but unable to keep his hips from rolling forward slightly with the push of your hands and the bob of your lips. 
After an unexpected snap of his hips that sent his cock sliding into the back of your throat, making you gag slightly, a pang of guilt struck through him for pushing too hard. That was, until you let your head pull back a touch to catch your breath, but a long string of spit connected your lips to his cock, and a wild smile broke across your face that nearly sent him to the moon. 
You dove back in and pushed his cock all the way into the back of your throat, going so far that your nose pressed into the patch of dark curls that sat above his perfect dick. Focusing your breathing through your nose, you make a point to constrict your throat a few times until you feel him twitch inside you.
Pulling off with a gasp for air, you notice his eyebrows pinched together and gaze locked on you. 
“I like how these feel,” you comment, letting your pointed tongue dance around the metal balls on his tip.
He shudders and you clench your thighs at the sight of his stomach muscles tensing up when your tongue makes contact with the underside of his head, right where it meets the shaft. 
“If I let you fuck my mouth until you come, are you still going to be able to give it to me in a bit, or are you a one and done kind of guy?” You ask with a playfully teasing tone, but genuinely want to know if you suck him off to completion if the night will be over or not. 
“Fuck,” he spits out, more blood rushing to his cock at the idea of coming down your throat, “I’d fuck you all night if you’d let me babe.”
Half a second doesn’t pass before his cock is back in your mouth, hips shakily moving forward with your movements, gaining confidence as you flicker your eyes up at him through your lashes, the glimmer in them telling him he can take what he wants. 
“Fuckin’ look at you,” he comments to himself, “takin’ it all.” 
“Mhmmm,” you hum around him letting your tongue roll around his tip each time before he pushes his cock back down your throat. 
“You think you can get away with teasing me like that? That shit you pulled in the van back there, you think it’s cute to try and get me all riled up?”
You nod, tongue out and saliva coating your lips and chin. You could tell he was close by the way his words came out staggered, and his hips started snapping towards you in a new tempo, like his body was chasing it. 
Grunts and moans pulled from his chest fill the space mixed with the hums of satisfaction you let out while you take him deeper and faster. Moving in for the kill, you carefully slip your hand up in between his legs, cupping his balls, trying your best not to startle him. 
“Oh fuck,” it was a pitch of his voice you’d never heard before, a new tone especially reserved for the moments before orgasm, “you’re gonna make me fuckin come, y/n, y/n, I’m…”
The feeling of his balls constricting in your hands cues the warm wash of come sputtering down into your throat.
Getting the feeling he’d appreciate a bit of a show, you continue to jerk him off and pull off his cock slightly, letting the tip balance onto the tip of your tongue and the rest of his load spills out into your open mouth, some landing around the corners and onto your lips. 
“Christ, y/n,” his chest is heaving, his eyes finally pulling from you to squeeze shut for a moment. 
Once you’re sure he’s looking at you again you swallow down the salty white substance and lick the excess off your lips. You take his head back into your mouth, sucking just enough to clean off the tip and lap up any stray drops. He’s sensitive, you can tell, so you stop torturing him and place a final kiss right in between the two metal balls. 
You thought of asking him if the piercing hurt, or maybe make a comment about the two matching tattoos on his hipbones, ink of his you’d never seen until now. Before your brain can jump from swallowing his come to making post-nut chit chat, he’s yanking you up off your feet and wrapping you in a searingly passionate kiss. 
In your past experience most guys wanted you to drink some water or brush your teeth after they came in your mouth, at least before kissing you. Not Eddie. The way his tongue immediately slipped into your mouth, you almost believed he was trying to get a taste for himself. 
“C’mon,” he whispers in between slotting his lips with your, “Bedroom. Now.” 
He takes your hips in his hands and spins you around, causing a surprised yelp to bubble up from you, making him chuckle behind you as he walks you down the hall, keeping his hands on your sides. 
You knew where you were going, there were only so many doors in his tiny trailer, and you’d been here plenty of times before, but you liked the feeling of his hands pushing you forward, guiding your movements and steering you down the hallway into his room. 
Before your knees can hit the bed he spins you back around and captures your lips in another heated kiss. His hands trail up your sides, letting his fingertips slide beneath the hem of your shirt and push it upwards until your ribs were exposed. He pulls away from your face, leaving you leaning back into him, not wanting the kiss to end. 
“Up,” he pinches the sides of your shirt in his hands, and signals with his chin that he wants you to lift your arms, which you comply. 
It slides up and off of you, his hands quickly darting back to unclasp your bra, seemingly without even trying. This makes you roll your eyes, but the realization that you’re bare before him eclipses the thought of making a snippy remark about what a man whore he is. 
Flat palms caress your sides and move up to cup your breasts, his tongue pressing into the side of your neck. 
“These too,” his thumbs dip into your pants, managing to wiggle under the waistband of your panties as well. You’re going to do it yourself, but he gently pushes you back onto the bed, letting you flip back into the unmade blankets. 
“I wanna see you,” he pops your pants button and waits for a nod before sliding your pants and underwear down your legs. 
In between the blowjob and now, he’d tucked himself back into his pants, pulling his boxers and jeans back up, still unbuttoned, but covering him back up as his cock returned to a half hard state, unlikely to stay that way for very long considering how things were going. 
The scene of you now sprawled out onto his bed, naked and needy for him, and him standing above you, basically fully clothed, had a flood of lust traveling south between your thighs.
“So fuckin’ gorgeous,” you burned under his intense gaze, raking down your body and soaking in the image of your skin laid out against his flannel plaid sheets. 
He crawls over you, letting his body melt into yours, the center seam of his jeans pressing against your soaking core, just as it had when he had you pressed up against the door of the bar bathroom.
Rocking gently against you, you feel his cock already starting to harden again. His tongue moves against your neck, hands roaming freely against your skin, arching into his touch. 
His breath was heavy against your lips, he was already starting to lose himself, and he knew he wanted to make you come with his tongue at least once before his dick came back out, but it was already pulsing between his legs, growing rock solid with every little whimper that came past your lips. 
Your fingers intertwined themselves into the tresses of his long, messy hair. You use your new grip to pull his face as close into yours as your bodies will allow, smushing his nose up against your cheek and foreheads plastered together. The weight of his body on yours, and the lovely rocking motion of his hips against yours stopped as he pulled away and hooked his arms under your knees. 
He slides off the side of the bed, feet returning to the carpeted ground and yanking your body to the edge of the mattress. You let out an unexpected giggle, body limp like a rag doll, moving wherever he wanted you. 
He leans back over to give you another deep kiss, teeth dragging against your lower lip and tongue sliding gracefully against yours, before he slides his mouth down, stopping to lap up at your nipples for a moment, not letting any part of your skin go untouched as he takes his time moving down to where you want him most. 
Wiggling around on his mattress, your body is begging him to get on with it, but he loves to make you squirm. He takes his time licking up your hip bones, kissing from the innermost part of your thigh all the way down to your knee, and then back up the other side. He even takes a long moment to suck a dark purple bruise into the meat of your thigh, biting down on the flesh and licking over the skin to soothe it, noticing how your back arched a little when he bit down harder. 
“Please Eddie,” your voice is hardly above a whisper, whimpering and whiny.
“All you had to do was ask nicely,” he has that too-cocky tone again, but it’s long forgotten once his tongue is buried in between your thighs, lapping up the excess of wetness already pooled there.
“Ohhh,” you let out a moan, sucking in a sharp breath and allowing your body to relax under his focused touch. 
His hands push up from your ass to the crooks of your knees, moving your legs back to either side of you, strong palms finding their resting place on the backs of your thighs, keeping your legs spread wide open for him while he buries his face deep in your cunt. 
“You-“ the start of a compliment, or maybe a request, escapes your lips but the sudden harsh suck of your clit into his mouth has you speechless and moaning, “Mhmmmmm, uhhhhhhh.”
The sloppy wet sounds of him making out with your pussy are enough to drive you wild, your hands originally balling his sheets in your fists quickly move to the top of his head, resting atop his mop of messy curls. 
“Y’can give it a tug,” the first half of his statement spoken directly into your pussy, “I don’t mind a little pain.” He shoots you a wink and keeps his eyes locked on you as he lets his tongue lap a fat long lick up your slit, and then leaning back down to encourage you to tangle your hands into his hair. 
Coming to either side of his head you grab two points of purchase, locking your fingers in at the roots and feeling him hum into your cunt when you grabbed it a little tighter. 
Your hips start to quiver, so he brings one hand from your thigh up to your lower stomach, pinning you against the bed, and still keeping you spread open with the other. 
Working a steady rhythm against your slick center with his lips and tongue, he can tell he’s found the spot you like most by your open mouth and tight eyebrows.
“Ohmygod,” your chest starts moving with heavy breaths, you can’t bear to keep yourself up any longer and flop back down flat onto the mattress, eyes screwing shut in pleasure. He lets go of his anchor on your tummy and returns his hands to your thighs, allowing your hips to wiggle and wriggle against his face to chase after your own pleasure. 
“Pleasepleaseplease,” one glimpse of his big brown eyes looking up at you and his nose pressing deliciously into the spot above your clit has your head reeling, “please don’t stop, fuck.”
Rather than reply, he just continues to devour you at that steady pace, your thighs almost snapping shut around his head . 
“Uh huh, right there, oh fuck Eddie I’m gonna-“ 
A strangled moan rips from your throat and your back arches off the mattress, his hands quickly come to wrap around your thighs and keep your center held closely against his face. He’s pulling your hips flush with his face, despite your spasming torso and gushing core. 
As your orgasm peaks, your hips angle themselves to push up deeper into his face, and he uses his leverage against the backs of your thighs to lift your ass, the entire lower half of your body now off the mattress and sliding backwards as he keeps his moving tongue glued to your clit. 
He climbs up onto the mattress as you slide back, the grip he had on your legs was sure to leave a sore memory of him unwilling to let your coming pussy away from his face. 
When he finally pulls away, your hand pushing at his forehead to prevent overstimulation, both of you gasping for air, his knees are propped under your thighs, and your hips are propped up right at perfect level with the bulge in his pants. 
“Fuck me,” you say through catching your breath, not as an expletive but rather a demand, “Eddie, I need you to fuck me,” your voice was whiny and desperate. 
“This okay?” he starts pulling his dick from its constraints in his unbuttoned jeans, not even shoving them halfway down his thighs before he had that pretty pierced dip dragging through your open and ready folds. 
“Yes, inside, please,” you were chasing after his length, while he tossed his shirt off. He teasingly ran it up and down your slit before sinking into you, collapsing down to press your lips into a kiss to swallow your moans as he slid the whole thing in slowly, making sure to take his time and fuck you right. 
He grabbed the back of your neck and pressed his forehead to yours, finally sheathed all the way inside you and stilling for a moment to relish in the feeling. Pulling back so he can watch your face as he pumps his first few thrusts, he knows he’s beyond fucked. 
“So fucking good,” you slur out, eyes almost crossing from how deep his cock was hitting your insides.
“Yeah? This pussy’s god damn perfect, fucking made for me,” he articulates each thought with a snap of his hips, “suckin’ me right in.” 
“Wait, can we,” your voice had a little more weight behind it unlike the airy moans he’d grown obsessed with in the past forty minutes.
He pulls back, and rather than finish your thought you slip him out of you and roll over, shuffling up the bed and positioning yourself face down ass up, knees spread and back arched. 
“You think you can handle it?” he asks jokingly, swatting your ass playfully and then landing a second, harder smack on the flesh when he notices you pussy clench around nothing at the sensation of him spanking you. 
“Want you to fuck me hard,” you mumble into his pillow, wiggling your hips a little bit to jiggle the fat of your ass, “I know your cock is gonna feel so fucking good in me this way, wanna feel that fucking piercing back in my throat from the other direction.”
“Jesus Christ, y/n,” he was genuinely a little shocked at your words, slowly learning that your freak side might match his. 
You expected to feel his cock slam into you once his hands came to spread your ass apart, but instead the mattress dipped and he was licking another fat stripe from your clit all the way up past your second hole, running this back a few times until you were moaning into the pillow and thighs were tensed up from the attention he was giving you.
“Sorry babe, just needed another taste,” he pushed the head of his dick into you, and moved the first few inches agonizingly slow into your soaked hole. 
“Eddie please, need it, need you,” he loved that his sheets were balled up in your fists, using the tension of the material to bounce yourself back onto him. You only manage to slide back down about three quarters before he’s tightly gripping your hip and pulling out half way again. 
“Tsk tsk tsk, you need to learn to be patient, pretty girl,” he’d thrust it an inch of so, and then slowly pull back, making you whine and start to feel tears bubble up in the corners of your eyes. 
“Want it so bad,” your cheek laid flat against his pillow, and you could catch a glimpse of him behind you out of the corner of your eye if you craned your neck a bit. You sounded so desperate, but you knew he liked it, liked hearing how badly you craved him. 
He starts moving in and out of you, firm grip on your ass never wavering. Restrained grunts left his mouth as he fucked into you, causing your eyes to practically roll into the back of your head. He leans down to place a soft kiss on your shoulder blade, despite how viciously he's pounding into you. His head cranes down to your shoulder, his hand coming up to brush your hair out of your face. 
As his long fingers move your hair away from your eyes, you push your head back into his hand, not wanting to lose contact. He tentatively runs his hands up into your hair, taking a soft grip on your roots.
“Is this what you want?” he whispers, “you like it rough?”
“Yes,” you manage to squeak out, “fuck, pull my hair, spank me, do whatever the fuck you want to me, please.”
His vision practically goes black with this new unrestricted passion, allowing himself to thrust into you as hard and as deep as his hips would propel him, twisting your hair in his grip and pulling you up from your laid position, quickly letting your hands jump to his headboard to support you as your head was pulled back. 
You tried to bounce back onto his cock, wanting to feel him as deeply and wholly as your bodies would allow, but you could hardly keep up with the pace he had set. 
Your ass bouncing against him and the occasional glance he caught at your fucked out expression spurred him on to fuck you even harder. He had your hair pulled back so tight that your back was pressing flush up with his chest every so often, and he took the opportunity to snake an arm around you and hold your chest up flat, his other hand moving down to rub frantic circles on your clit.
“You’re gonna make me come like this,” you manage to croak out, voice hoarse from the harsh bend in your neck. 
“Nuh uhh, no,” his voice was gruff and commanding, right into your ear and sent a shiver down your spine. 
He pulled out of you fully, and had you flipped around flat on your back again before you could even open your mouth to complain. 
“Need to see that pretty face when you come on my cock,” he lines himself up with you again, pushing into you and making a mental note of how the bulge of his cock looked pressing up from the inner part of your lower stomach. 
And of course, your face screwed up in pleasure, puffy lips and sweaty brow, slack jawed and panting his name would be something Eddie wouldn’t be able to forget even if he tried.
His thumb found its way to your clit to pick up where he had last left you, steadily building to an earth shattering orgasm. Talking you through it, knowing you were close by the vice grip your walls had on his dick, in between grunts he spilled out some “good girl”’s and “right fuckin there, that’s it.” 
When he felt your thighs tense up, and the muscles in your neck strain against the soft skin he’d previously had his lips all over, he knew you were nearing the finish line. 
“So fucking perfect, feel so good wrapped around me,” he managed to sweet talk you without altering the pace of his hips, “That’s it, come on my cock, give it to me.”
With that, your body can’t help but throw itself over the edge of pleasure. A deep grunt rattles in your chest, and you lose all sensation other than the wild pulsing in between your legs. You can’t be bothered to worry about what your face looks like, or if your thighs are squeezing him too hard, you only feel the riptide of an orgasm shattering through you. 
The animalistic noise that Eddie grunts out, his wild gaze locked on your face only makes your body shake with pleasure even harder. He had that instinct that most men lacked, to keep the exact pace and motion when your orgasm hit rather than speed up or slow down, it was a gift, a talent. 
Of course he wasn’t going to change a thing about what he was doing, look at you. You were so fucking perfect, shaking and coming all over him, those sweet noises and the beautiful squelching between your thighs. He’d rather die than change a single thing about this moment. 
He stilled only when you paused to catch your breath, and within seconds was flipped over by the power of your thighs onto his back.
Unexpectedly, you began to ride him, trying to match the pace he had earlier set. The aftershocks of your orgasm still washed through you, but you seized the moment to get him right where you wanted him. This angle was different, deeper and more connected. You roll your hips and bring your hands up to his hair, foreheads pressing together once again. 
“You’re making me feel so fucking good,” you manage to breathe out into his lips, he quickly comes to the realization of what’s happened and shifts the angle of his hips to hit you even deeper. 
“I’d give you everything, if you’d let me,” he doesn’t let a single thought pass in his mind before the words slip out, “always.”
Your lips capture his in a kiss that has far more emotion behind it than two friends play-dating and fucking for fun. His hands come up to grasp your cheeks, your hips continue to roll down into his with purpose. 
“I’m- Where-“ his words are hardly intelligible in between breathless kisses, but you know what he means. 
“Inside, please, need all of you inside me,” you try to keep your voice steady so he hears you loud and clear, wanting to give him the exact attention he had paid to you, “Please Eddie, come inside me.”
His hands travel down and guide your hips to fuck down onto him one, two, three times before he’s groaning in your ear and letting out the prettiest and most vulnerable sounds you’ve ever heard form him. 
The swell of his cock inside you makes you drape your head into his neck, focusing on riding out his orgasm and making sure he was twitching in the aftershocks of his orgasm before you let up. 
When you felt his grip on your hips tighten, signaling that he’d had too much, you sink all the way down one final time and let your body lay limp on his, pulsing cock still filling you up. 
His chest rose and fell harshly with his recovering breaths. You could feel his heartbeat pulsing up through the spot on his neck where your ear laid on his sweaty skin.
Silently awaiting the inevitable tap on the shoulder, the slow pull out and post-sex cleanup process, you try to savor every passing moment. But it doesn’t come. Eddie wraps his arms around your midsection and holds your limp body close to his, letting his cock start to soften inside you. 
You nearly fall asleep like that, all wrapped up in him, until you recognize that you should pee and clean up to avoid a UTI. You slip off of him, and hear a disappointed groan from him. He makes cute grabby hands at you as you cross the room, making you roll your eyes, but something deep inside you flip flops with how sweet he’s being, so caring, so unlike the picture of himself that he had painted for you. 
You give him a wet hand towel to clean up the remnants of your activities, and slip back into bed with him per his insistence. You doze off for a while, until the rising sun peeking through his blinds catches your eye, striking you with the sudden decision to stay and face the music or leave and let it settle. 
You’d already regretted it, but weren’t ready to have the “hey, so I know we had fake boyfriend-girlfriend sex, but I actually really like you so what should we do about that?” conversion with him, so instead you take the cowardly path and tiptoe out of his room in the early morning hours, leaving behind your underwear on his nightside table with a scribbled note saying to call you. Hopefully that was enough of a signal. 
Apparently not,
Days pass, and no call. 
It was all starting to get to your head. While you had gone through the stages of being nervous that you had done something wrong, that he was avoiding you to spare you the rejection, thinking he regretted what had happened and didn’t want to face you, who was so obviously into him it was painful, you’d just now turned a new leaf. Fuck that. If he was too much of a coward to call you, you'd hope he'd at least give you the decency as a friend to tell you the truth, you deserved to be angry, and you deserved a response. 
After stewing in your feelings for longer than felt healthy, you just get in your car and start driving to his trailer. If this all blew up in your face at least you wouldn’t have to keep biting your nails and waiting for the phone to ring. 
Three deep breaths, and a quick moment to gather your thoughts, and suddenly your body acted on instinct, putting the car in park and walking up to pound three concise knocks on his trailer door. 
“Just a second,” he hollered from inside, giving you a few seconds to be stricken with regret for showing up unannounced without a plan on what exactly to say. 
“What do you- oh, y/n,” he was in a pair of plaid pajama pants that hung low on his hips, shirtless and hair still damp from a recent shower, “uh, hey?”
“Oh, hey,” your tone was laced with annoyance, “I left something here last week and I’m here to get it back. If you don’t mind.”
“What- oh,” he’s a second too slow to realize you mean the underwear you had purposefully left behind with that note. The note telling him to call you. Which he never did. 
You were left standing on his porch steps, arms crossed and shooting daggers out of your eyes while he stood there in the doorway, an apparent guilty expression plastered on his face while he rocked back on his heels to buy some time to figure out what to say. 
“You don’t have to invite me inside, if you can just grab them and give them to me, and I’ll be out of your hair,” you say flatly, recognizing if he does as asked then this might be the last time you speak to Eddie Munson. 
“No, no, uh, you should come in,” he steps aside to let you in, “we probably shouldn’t have this conversation on my front steps.”
Avoiding eye contact, feeling an overwhelming mix of anger, confusion, and betrayal, you step inside and don’t make any effort to move into the space. You just stand by the door and give him an expectant look. Either he could go get the underwear, or he could grow a pair and say something to you. 
“I, uh-“ he looked so defeated you started to feel bad for using such a pointed tone, but then you remembered the days and days that passed without hearing from him, “I’m sorry, that I, y’know…”
“Yeah, well I don’t really care if you’re not looking for any post sex recap conversations, because you’re obviously pretty sure of yourself in that department,” the words flew out before your mind could even conjure them up, “but you fucking promised me that you wouldn’t do this, so can I please just have my underwear back and I won’t bother you again.”
He runs a hand through his hair letting out a deep exhale and searching the ceiling for words, “I know, I-“
You cut him off, your thoughts were ripping through you now and you were going to say your piece whether he asked for it or not, “You said you wouldn’t pull this shit with me, but I guess our friendship isn’t substantial enough for you to see me any differently than you do every other girl you throw away after you’ve gotten what you want. You clearly don’t want any more advice and you clearly don’t want to be my friend, so please, just give me my shit so I can go.”
“That’s the fucking thing y/n, of course I don’t want to be your friend,” his gaze still fixed on the ceiling.
At this point you were seconds away from just storming out, letting him keep your underwear as some twisted little trophy for breaking your heart. 
“Yeah, crystal clear Eddie.”
“Being your friend is already hard enough, and I knew this shit was a bad idea, the whole trial-girlfriend thing. But how the fuck was I supposed to say no to that? The girl of my dreams offers to do all this no-strings-attached romantic shit, I’d be the dumbest man alive to turn that down.”
You just give him a blank stare, your scalding anger twisting into a more confused frenzy of bees swarming in the pit of your stomach. Eyebrows pinched together, you just stare at him until he finally makes eye contact with you. 
“And yeah,” he goes on, letting all his words out like a big exhale in the same cadence that you had just hurled all your angry words at his, but his tone was filled with guilt as opposed to rage, “maybe we let it go a little too far, but I would never say no to you, I couldn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t know what the fuck to say to you after, but that’s exactly the reason I’m not good enough for you. The more we kept that fake dating shit up the worse it was gonna get, so I’m sorry, but I can’t keep spending time with you like that, because it’s starting to fucking hurt.”
“Hurt,” you say with a dry laugh, which almost scares him, “YOU’RE hurt? Give me a fucking break Eddie. I know you don’t see me that way. So what, you’re too scared to hurt my feelings? You’re doing a wonderful job, keep it up.”
“What the fuck do you mean, not see you like what?”
“Don’t pretend to be dumb Eddie. When we first met I tried so hard to get your attention, asking you to hang out, and you always blew me off. It’s fine that you don’t want to date me or whatever, but at least just tell me that, don’t fuck me like I’m special or something and then toss me aside. I deserve better than that.”
“Yeah, y/n, you do,” his voice was no longer guilt stricken, and was on the same straightforward plane as your last responses, “you deserve so much fucking better than me, that’s why I could never let anything between us happen. I don’t call girls back. I’m rude. I don’t take care of myself, let alone others. I like to smoke, and drink, and get head from girls in bar bathrooms and never learn their names, and that’s not the kind of person that a girl like you dates. I’m a fun quick fuck. You’re the kind of girl that after three dates he’ll already have a ring picked out. You’re everything, and I’m nothing, so forgive me for sparing you of that.”
Your bones are frozen and the beat of silence gives him the opportunity to spin on his heel and start down the hallway, presumably to get your panties. 
Snapping back into it, you let out a louder than expected, “Hey,” and you start following him, not taking long to catch up to him in his bedroom. 
“You,” you point a finger at him, and start to feel the rage bubble up again, “don’t get to decide that you’re unloveable. And you don’t get to tell me what kind of girl I am. Have you ever considered that maybe the reason you’re so lonely and miserable is because you choose to be? You don’t get to decide what I deserve, I do. And I really fucking like you Eddie, so forgive me for acting like it.” 
You snatch your underwear off his bedside table, and give him a look, not fueled by anger or resentment, but empathy. 
“I’m going to leave. And if you don’t want to see me again, that’s fine, but if you do, you can call me. Goodbye Eddie.”
You feel out of your own body, floating above it all and rewinding the conversation over and over, body on autopilot taking you home while your soul stayed behind and relived his words over and over, unsure if you feel better or worse than when you showed up. 
Days pass by again, and you take his silence as more of a response than anything he had said to you during that conversation. You try not to wallow, but you feel scattered and distraught, at both the prospect of losing Eddie and having to deal with your shared friends, would they allow you to dance around each other, or would they flat out choose him and shut you out? Would group nights out bowling suddenly just turn into the occasional one-on-one coffee with Robin? 
Until suddenly, on a random Tuesday afternoon when you've gotten home from work and are relaxing on the couch in your pajamas, three knocks are at your door.
At this point you figured it was over. He hadn't called and he'd made no effort to continue the dialogue. So a thought of Eddie doesn't even cross your mind in between the couch and opening the door.
And there he is.
In a suit, slightly descheveld in Eddie fashion, and holding a slightly wilting bouquet of flowers. Posture straight and brave face, but expecting your brutal edge upon answering the door nonetheless.
"Hey?" you're somewhat at a loss for words answering.
"Hi," he seems like he's running lines of a play in his mind, "I was hoping we could talk."
You reluctantly let him in, and he hands the flowers to you, as if it was a normal occurrence for him to bring you such a gift.
"First off," he starts, hardly breaching your living room entrance before starting his apology, "I regret the way we last left things, and I'm sorry for leaving you waiting for a response."
He flicks those big brown eyes at you and you can't help but give him the benefit of the doubt, he always was so sincere with his words.
"You're amazing. And although I'll remain adamant that I don't deserve someone like you in my life, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, and I'm sorry that tried to tell you how to feel."
You remain stoic at your seat on the couch, watching him shift his weight and bare his soul to you.
"You're perfect. Nice, funny, sexy, brave, all of it. And if you're willing to give me a chance, I don't know why the fuck you would, but if you are, I want to put aside all my bullshit and try this out, if you'll have me."
He stood there for a moment, letting you take in his request, bouquet in hand and suit adorned.
"And I owe you a few dates, for real."
As hard as you want your exterior to be, a smile cracks through.
"Okay, but know I don't fuck until the third date, at best," you jab, breaking his nervous exterior and visibly relieving the tension from his shoulders.
"I'm somewhat of a refined gentleman myself, so that won't be an issue," he bows and extends a hand to you.
You pull him down by the hand onto the couch with you, wrapping him up in a deep kiss. He was worth it, and you both knew it was worth the shot to try.
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t-urbulence · 10 months
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the more people write thinkpieces about why you're problematic if you dont reblog and only like posts (especially art and fics i guess) the less ill reblog those posts. i have three aries placements, dont tell me what to do /hj
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drudyslut · 2 months
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— summary: Rafe loves to make you cry and beg.
— warnings: smut! 18+ mentions of alcohol and cocaine, mean!rafe, dom!rafe, sub!reader, humiliation kink (maybe? idk he makes reader beg him to go fuck her in front of a shit ton of ppl), thigh riding (with ppl watching), fingering, fem receiving oral, edging, spanking, unprotected sex, degrading names (slut, whore), praise.
likes, comments n reblogs are appreciated.<3
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❥ beg for it, princess — r.c
You had been very open with Rafe about the things you wanted him to do to you, with you. You’ve never hidden a kink from him, and he never hid any from you.
Rafe very quickly showed you just how willing he was to please you, he’d do absolutely anything to make his princess happy, and you would do anything for him, even if that meant letting him put you in the most painful situations, humiliate you, make you feel like a worthless slut.
For him, you’d gladly be his worthless slut, because at the end of the day, you knew he loved you. He’d do the most disgusting things to you, calling you the most degrading names while also praising you, telling you how fucking good you were doing for him.
And then, when he was done using you, he’d take care of you — Putting you in the bath and cleaning you, kissing the sides of you face and rubbing at your sore body, telling you how good you did for him. To you, it was all worth it.
You were his pathetic whore, but you were also his princess. And both were titles that you would gladly wear with a big fucking smile on your face.
-
You and Rafe are sat in the middle of a large, crowded room. His right arm is protectively wrapped around your waist, fingers digging into the exposed skin of your stomach, the thin crop top you’d chosen to wear tonight showing off just the right amount of your smooth skin.
Bringing your red solo cup to your lips, you take a small sip before resting your head on Rafe’s shoulder. He’s in the middle of a deal, a Kook by the name of Jaxon sat across from you and Rafe, trying to bargain with your boyfriend.
“C’mon man, just give it to me for $150. I promise, i’ll pay you back in two days” Jaxon says, his heavy eyes darting from Rafe’s ocean-blue ones and down to the cocaine on the table.
The corners of Rafe’s lips rise into a small amused smirk, and he rolls his head to the side, his pretty blue eyes finding yours. You lift your head to meet his intense stare, your lashes fluttering as you take another sip of your drink. “You know, Jax, i’m real into begging. Just ask Y/N. She’s always begging me to let her come, and that shits hot as fuck,” he pauses, making a tsking noise with his tongue and teeth, and your face all but turns a bright shade of red, head bowing as you bite at the rim of your cup, “But it’s just pathetic to see a grown ass man beg, especially when I know for a fact you can afford the asking price”
Jaxon’s eyes rise to look at you before they return to Rafe. He lets out a loud sigh, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and pulling out three crisp hundred dollar bills, slapping them to the table, “There. $300. Can I just have my shit now?”
Rafe smirks again, arching a brow before he releases a long breath. Rafe slowly grabs the money from the table, turning and shoving it into your black lace bra before he turns to face Jaxon again. “See, now was that so hard?” He chuckles when Jax rolls his eyes, then he moves and grabs one of the small tightly wrapped baggies, placing it between the tips of his index and middle fingers, hanging them toward Jaxon.
Jaxon yanks the small baggie from between his finger tips, letting out a huff as he moves to stand to his feet and storming away from the table. Once he’s gone, you turn and slap Rafe on the chest, a slightly annoyed and embarrassed look on your face. “Seriously? You had to drag me into that?”
Rafe laughs, turning his body to face you and wrapping his left hand around your body as well. You squeal when he uses both hands to pull you into his lap, forcing your legs to straddle either side of his hips. He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours in a heated kiss. He forces his tongue into your mouth, dominating yours instantly and making you moan into him.
Pulling away from your lips, you find yourself chasing his, an empty feeling washing over you from the loss of his lips. “You know it was funny, baby. Besides, my little slut loves to be humiliated”
You blush at the vulgar name he’s called you, but your pussy pulses, butterflies filling your stomach when you hear the name fall past his lips. As fucked up as it may sound, you did love when he humiliated you in front of people, you weren’t sure why, but it turned you on.
Rafe runs his hands down the small of your back, reaching your ass and tightly cupping it. Your hips buck forward and back arches when he begins softly massaging at the plump flesh of your ass. He slowly lifts your hips, placing you back down on his left thigh. He grabs your solo cup from your hand, downing what’s left in it and tossing it behind the two of you before his hands find your hips again.
His fingers find the waistband of your black denim shorts, shoving them down the front of them and running is fingers along the skin of your lower belly. A shiver runs through your body when you feel how close he gets to your panties and your legs tighten around his jeans-clad thigh. His eyes flick up to find yours, a smirk plastered on his lips when he sees how worked up he’s got you.
“Does my princess want to be fucked?” He asks, voice low and raspy as he pushes his fingers into the front of your lace panties.
Your breath hitches in your throat, and you open your mouth to speak but nothing except a soft, pathetic moan slips from your lips. Rafe removes his hand from inside your shorts, placing it back on your hips and pressing your pussy into his thigh, allowing your clit to gain the stimulation you were craving.
You begin whimpering as you rock your hips back and forth on his thigh, his hands gripping your hips and helping you move. “That’s it baby, ride my thigh. Let everyone see how fucking desperate you are for my cock”
Your heart begins pounding in your chest as you rub yourself against his thigh, the rough material of his jeans making your inner thigh tingle, the delicious pressure on your clit pulling moans from your mouth. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, licking and biting at his smooth skin as your hips continue to rock back and fourth, a pressure building inside of you, burning brightly and wanting to explode from you when the sounds of laughter fill your ears.
Panic washes over you when you lift your head and notice many sets of eyes on you and Rafe, peoples phones pulled out and pointed toward the two of you. For a moment, you’d forgotten that you weren’t alone, forgot you were in the middle of a large living room with all of your friends crowding it. You begin breathing heavily, tears stinging at your eyes as you hear the hushed whispers about you.
Rafe cups your face in his large hands, forcing your eyes on him as he whispers, “Fuck them” He pauses when you squeeze your eyes shut, letting the first few tears fall in embarrassment, but Rafe’s fingers squeezing your cheeks have you forcing them back open, “Hey, eyes on me baby. Let them know how badly you need to be fucked, beg me for it, and i’ll take you upstairs”
A whine falls from your forcefully parted lips, and you shake your head from side to side, wishing that the ground would just swallow you whole. You couldn’t deny it though, you were turned on. All of the eyes on you, even if they were judging you, it turned you on. You never understood why you loved the humiliation Rafe gave you, you should feel ashamed, you should hate him for putting you in positions like this, but you don’t. Instead, your pussy throbs with need, wanting to feel his cock buried inside you.
“Come on, baby girl. I know you want to. Beg me to fuck you, let them all hear how much of a needy whore you are for me”
He releases your face from his hands, allowing you to throw your head forward and into his neck. His hand slaps across your ass, making you cry out from the sting it left, and you finally lift your head, pleading eyes on his. “Please? Please Rafe, I need you to fuck me. Want to be your needy whore”
Rafe softly kisses the corner of your mouth, his eyes darting around the room at all of the eyes trained on you and him. His hands tightly grip at the bottom of your thighs, lifting you with him as he stands from the couch and whispering, “Such a good fucking girl. Gotta let everyone know who the fuck you’re a needy little slut for”
He carries you up a staircase and pushes into an empty bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him with his foot. He turns, slamming your back against the closed door, pinning you in place before his lips smash into yours. You open up for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss and force his tongue into your mouth. You moan into his mouth, rolling your hips against his waist, trying to relieve some of the pressure you felt between your legs.
Rafe breaks the kiss, but his lips still hover over yours. “Beg for it baby. Beg me to fuck you”
“Please..?” You whimper, the pressure between your legs growing. You were soaked. Pussy pulsing. You needed him, but you knew he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted unless you earned it. And the only way you’d earn it, was by being pathetic and begging him.
He chuckles, his darkened over eyes finding yours. “Please what, princess? Tell me what you need”
“Please fuck me. Need your tongue, your fingers, your cock. Please…? I’ll be a good girl, just want to come.. Please, Rafe?”
Tears begin to fill your eyes. You felt pathetic. Begging to be fucked. But you didn’t care, no. No you needed him, he was like a fucking drug that you couldn’t get enough of.
He walks you over to the large bed that’s in the room, sitting you on your ass at the edge and dropping to his knees. “God I love how fucking needy and pathetic you are f’me baby” He says as his fingers pop the button of your shorts. Your breath catches in your throat when he pulls the zipper down, his fingers dropping and running across the skin of your inner thighs.
“Rafe…”
He dips his head down, his lips leaving hot, open mouthed kisses on your inner thighs. You squirm, bringing your hands to the waistband of your shorts and pushing them down. His eyes find yours, amusement in his eyes. He swats your hands away, using his own to pull your shorts down your legs and tossing them behind him onto the floor.
His eyes land on your pink lace thong, his tongue darting out to lick across his bottom lip. “You’re soaked, princess” he coos. Your face turns a bright shade of red and you quickly bring your hands up, burying your face into them.
Rafe makes a tsking noise as he runs his tongue across his top teeth. His large hands come up to your small wrists, gripping at them softly and peeling them from your face. He brings them down to your sides before releasing them. His head dips down to your inner thighs, leaving another searing kiss to the skin. His hands grip at your thighs, pulling you further down the mattress and placing your shaking legs over his shoulders, pushing your panties to the side in the process. You suck in a sharp breath when you feel his lips trailing kisses from the inside of your thighs and to your pelvic bone.
“R-Rafe… Please?”
He smirks against your skin, letting out an airy laugh as his darkened over blue eyes find yours. “Please what? Gotta let me know what you want baby…” He says, trailing his words off as he leaves another kiss on the top of your pussy, his mouth inching closer to where you need him most.
“Your mouth. Your cock. I need you, Rafe. Please” You cry out. His teeth sink into the skin of your inner thigh, making you cry out in pain and pleasure as he sucks a deep purple bruise into the flesh.
He releases your flesh from his lips, licking the fresh, new bruise before he begins working his way up your thighs and to your aching cunt. He places a soft kiss on your weeping core. You suck in a shaky breath when his tongue finally licks through your folds. He licks from the bottom up to your clit, flicking his tongue over the swollen and sensitive bud. His tongue begins to slowly lick up and down your soaked core, over and over again, pulling the most pathetic but sweet whines from you.
Your fingers fly into his hair, tugging softly at the messy locks as you tighten your thighs around his head, locking him in place. His tongue doesn’t let up, he laps up your juices like a starved man as you continue to cry out his name, waves of pleasure rushing through your entire body. He takes his right hand and pushes your leg down onto the bed, his grip bruising. He runs his tongue up and through your folds again, reaching your clit and sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth.
Moving his left hand from your leg, he snakes it between the two of you, running his thick fingers through your soaked folds before plunging his index and middle fingers inside of you. He curls them slightly, softly caressing that sweet spot inside of you that has your toes curling and tears falling past your bottom lashes. He creates a quick pace with his fingers, his mouth unrelenting as he continues to suck on your clit. You feel the fire burning inside of you, your release building and threatening to burst.
Your pussy clamps down around Rafe’s fingers, letting him know you’re close to the edge. He slows his fingers, stilling them inside of you and releases your clit from his lips with a pop, making you let out a frustrated whine. “Why’d you stop?!” You ask breathlessly, your head lifted just enough to find him staring up at you from between your legs. He has an amused smirk on his lips, his face and chin glistening with your arousal.
“Because, you’re gonna be a good girl and cum all over my cock”
You throw your head back in a huff, crossing your arms over your chest and pouting like a child whose parent told them they couldn’t get a treat at the grocery store. Rafe rises from his knees, his tall frame towering over you on the bed. He brings his right hand to caress your cheek before he slowly runs it down to your throat, his fingers wrapping around it and squeezing tightly, but not enough to take away your air. “Don’t be a fucking brat, or else you won’t cum tonight. Alright?”
You nod your head the best you can, tears spilling from your eyes from the ache you felt between your thighs and the pressure from Rafe’s hand around your throat.
He releases your neck and his hands fly to pop the button of his jeans before moving on to slide his zipper down. You watch him intently as he shoves the rough material down his legs, kicking them off to the side before he grips the hem of his baby blue polo and rips it up and over his head. Your mouth pools with saliva, the sight of Rafe’s shirtless body making you physically drool all over yourself.
He climbs on top of you, his left hand baring his weight while his right hand shoves his boxers down his legs. He grips the base of his cock in his right hand, stroking at it a few times before he slides his swollen head through your folds. You squirm underneath him, hips bucking forward as you silently pleaded with him to fuck you.
You open your mouth to beg some more, but your words die on your tongue, a loud gasp falling past your lips as he shoves himself inside you without warning. He slowly pulls himself out before harshly slamming back inside you, his pink tip kissing at that spot inside you that has you seeing stars. He watches intently as he pushes and pulls his cock from inside you, his bottom lip sucked between his teeth. “You’ve already got a mess all over my cock baby girl. Fucking beautiful” He breathes out as he harshly slams his hips into yours again.
He pulls himself from inside you, his arms wrapping around your waist and flipping you onto your stomach has you squealing loudly. “On your hands and knees baby. Bring your knees to your chest, ass up in the air f’me”
You quickly do as he says, positioning yourself on all fours and tucking your knees up under your chest. A loud moan slips past your lips when Rafe’s hand slaps at your ass, the sting it left behind causing more tears to spill from your eyes. A dark chuckle emits from Rafe’s chest, “My girl loves when i’m rough with her, yeah?” Another slap. “I love making you cry” Another slap. “The sound makes my cock throb”
Tears stream uncontrollably down your face as Rafe continues to slap your ass, the sting bringing you an overwhelming amount of pain and pleasure. “Rafe, plea— Ah!”
Rafe shoves his cock inside you again, making your pleas die on your tongue. You fist the sheets beneath you, eyes rolling into the back of your head as Rafe pounds himself into you at a ruthless pace.
Your pussy clamps down around him, sucking him in deeper. Your loud cries bounce off the walls, and you’re sure the entire party can hear you, but you don’t care. It feels too fucking good to care. The pressure in your lower belly begins to build, a bright white light burns in the back of your eyes.
“You’re so close baby. You’re fuckin’ squeezin’ me so tight. Milk my fucking cock dry baby” Rafe rasps.
A string of curses and moans slip past your lips as your pussy clenches around him, the pressure building up and bursting free. Euphoria racks your body, your legs shaking and toes curling as you come undone around Rafe’s cock.
Rafe growls, leaning his body forward so his lips are brushing against the shell of your ear. “Such a good fucking girl, ‘m right behind- fuck!”
He slams into you one final time, his dick twitching as he fills your pussy with his cum. His teeth sink into your shoulder, pulling back he kisses the bite mark and whispers, “Did so fucking good f’me baby. Let’s get you home and cleaned up”
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RAFE TAGLIST: @targaryenbarbie @thelomlisrafecameron @rafegirly @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @abbybarnesstuff @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @yourfavborderhopper @moremaybank @rafetopia @rafemotherfuckingcameron @jade-is-jaded @lexasaurs634 @lyndys @presleyanswrites @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @jjsmarijuana @ijustwanttoreadlols @luversgirl @sugarcoatedstarkey @skyesthebomb @nirvanaissogood @stvrkey @vhour @emma77645 @rafeinterlude @superlegend216 @mannstarkey @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @crgirlsworld @atorturedpoetx @carolinaxvz @maybankslover @cantstoptherecs @pradabambie @slut4ani @kamninaries @biggesthat3r @wearemadeofstardust
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kckt88 · 19 days
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Kickstart My Heart
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Summary:
After his last relationship ended, Aemond decided he was taking a break from women, and it was going well until his sister Helaena introduces him to her new friend.
Warning(s): Language, Angst, Mentions of Past Cheating, Kissing, Smut – Fingering, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, P in V, Misunderstandings, Alys.
AEMOND TARGARYEN x Y.N (PAST AEMOND X ALYS)
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
Word Count: 7215
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.
Aemond stood in the dimly lit living room of the apartment he used to share with Alys. The air felt heavy with the weight of their turbulent relationship, a storm that had raged for far too long.
Tonight, however, he was determined to bring an end to it.
Alys sat on the couch, her green eyes fixated on her phone, barely acknowledging his presence. She exuded an air of indifference, as if his existence was merely an inconvenience.
"Alys," Aemond began, his voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling within him. "We need to talk."
She glanced up briefly, her expression tinged with annoyance. "Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of something."
Aemond shook his head, his resolve hardening with each passing second. "No, it can't wait. I've had enough."
Alys scoffed, a derisive smile playing on her lips. "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Aemond replied, his tone unwavering. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be with someone who belittles me, who cheats on me, who takes advantage of me."
Alys's facade of indifference crumbled, replaced by a flicker of anger. "You're being ridiculous, Aemond. You can't just throw away what we have because of a few petty disagreements."
"These aren't petty disagreements, Alys," Aemond retorted, his voice rising slightly. "You've made me feel worthless, you've betrayed my trust time and time again, and you've manipulated me into doing things I never wanted to do. I deserve better than this."
Alys opened her mouth to respond, but Aemond held up a hand, silencing her. "I'm done, Alys. I'm leaving."
With that, he turned on his heel and strode towards the door, his heart pounding in his chest. As he stepped out into the cool night air, a sense of liberation washed over him, filling him with a newfound sense of purpose.
He made his way to his sister Helaena's apartment, seeking solace in the familiarity of her presence.
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Of course, his sister welcomes him with open arms, saying he could stay as long as he needed to and as Aemond settle in and began to regain some semblance of normalcy he vowed to take a break from relationships and women.
He had been blinded by what he thought was love and lured into a toxic cycle that had left him broken and disillusioned. But now, as he gazed into the depths of his own soul, he knew that he could not afford to make the same mistake again.
"No more," declared Aemond, his voice growing stronger with each repetition. "I will focus on myself, on rebuilding my life and reclaiming my sense of worth. I will not let anyone else dictate my happiness or define my worthiness."
After that things were going great, Aemond regained his focus at work, he began hanging out with his friends again and he even started back at the gym.
His mantra of no women was doing him the world of good until one day Helaena had dragged him to flower shop where she worked and introduced him to her new friend and every single ounce of sanity flew from his head the moment her saw her.
"Aemond, this is Y.N," Helaena said with a warm smile as she gestured towards the stunning woman beside her.
Aemond's gaze swept over Y.N, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. He felt as though the air had been knocked out of his lungs, his heart pounding fiercely in his chest.
Y.N was breathtakingly beautiful, with long auburn hair cascading down her back and piercing blue eyes that seemed to hold the secrets of the universe.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Aemond," Y.N said, her voice soft and melodious, sending shivers down his spine.
Aemond managed to compose himself enough to offer a polite nod in response, though his mind was reeling with a whirlwind of emotions. He couldn't tear his gaze away from Y.N, captivated by her beauty and grace.
As the conversation flowed between the three of them, Aemond found himself drawn to Y.N's every word, hanging on her every syllable as though it were a lifeline. He couldn't deny the magnetic pull he felt towards her, the way she seemed to light up the room with her presence.
As Y.N stood face to face with Aemond, she couldn't help but be struck by his undeniable presence. Tall and lithe, he exuded an air of quiet strength that drew her in like a moth to a flame.
But it was not just his stature that caught her attention.
Her gaze traced the sharp angles of his face, taking in the striking features that seemed to have been carved from marble by the hands of a master sculptor. Despite the scar that bisected the left side of his face and the eyepatch, there was an undeniable beauty in the symmetry of his features.
Y.N found herself captivated by the intensity of his remaining eye, a stormy grey that seemed to hold a world of emotions within its depths. There was a vulnerability there, a glimpse into the soul of a man who had weathered his fair share of storms.
But it was not just Aemond's physical appearance that left Y.N breathless. There was something about the way he carried himself, with a quiet confidence tempered by a hint of sorrow, that spoke to her on a deeper level.
In that moment, as their eyes met and held, Y.N knew that she had stumbled upon someone truly remarkable. And as she found herself drawn into his orbit, she couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of getting to know him better, of unravelling the mysteries that lay hidden beneath the surface of his stoic facade.
As Y.N stood before Aemond, her eyes cast downward in a gesture of shyness that was unlike anything he had ever encountered before. Unlike the confident and brazen women, he had known in the past, Y.N seemed to radiate a quiet and unassuming charm that drew him in despite himself.
Her timid demeanour stood in stark contrast to the fiery spirit of Floris, the regal confidence of Cerelle or the boldness of Alys. There was a softness to Y.N, a vulnerability that spoke volumes without her having to utter a single word.
Aemond found himself captivated by the way she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the way her cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink whenever their eyes met. There was a purity to her presence that stirred something within him, something he had long thought lost amidst the chaos of his past relationships.
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Helaena couldn't contain her excitement as she extended an invitation to Y.N to join them at her apartment for a casual get-together.
As Y.N agreed to come over, Helaena shot a mischievous glance at her brothers, Aegon and Aemond, who were lounging in the living room.
"You should see the look on Aemond's face," Helaena teased, her eyes dancing with amusement. "I think he's more excited about this than anyone."
Aegon chuckled, casting a knowing glance in Aemond's direction. "I thought you swore off women, little brother. What happened to all that talk about focusing on yourself?"
Aemond felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment, though he couldn't deny the truth in his brother's jest. "I-uh-it's not like that," he stammered, struggling to find the right words to defend himself.
Helaena laughed, coming to her brother's rescue. "Oh, lighten up, Aegon. Can't a man appreciate the company of a charming woman without it being a big deal?"
Aegon raised an eyebrow in mock scepticism, but the corner of his mouth twitched with amusement. "I suppose so."
With a good-natured chuckle, Aemond rolled his eyes, knowing that his siblings meant well. And as he awaited Y.N's arrival with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation, he couldn't help but feel grateful for their unwavering support and teasing banter.
As Y.N arrived at Helaena's apartment, she clutched a box of delicately decorated butterfly fairy cakes that she had baked herself. The nervous flutter in her stomach only intensified as she stepped through the door, greeted by the warm smiles of Helaena and her brothers.
"Y.N, you made it!" Helaena exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "And you brought your famous butterfly fairy cakes! I can't wait to try them."
Y.N's cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson at the praise, her shy demeanour shining through as she handed the box to Helaena. "I hope you like them," she murmured softly, her gaze flickering towards the floor.
Aegon stepped forward, extending a hand in greeting. "I'm Aegon, Helaena's older brother. It's a pleasure to meet you, Y.N."
Y.N nodded politely, her eyes darting briefly to meet his before retreating once more. "Nice to meet you, Aegon," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Aemond watched the interaction with a mixture of amusement and curiosity, noting the way Y.N seemed to retreat into herself in the presence of his siblings. When she finally glanced up and caught his eye, her blush deepened, and she seemed to shrink back even further.
"Hello, Y.N," Aemond greeted her with a warm smile, his voice gentle as he tried to ease her nerves.
"Hi, Aemond," Y.N replied, her voice barely audible as she fidgeted nervously with the hem of her sleeve.
Aemond couldn't help but be charmed by her shyness, finding it endearing in a way he hadn't expected.
As the evening progressed, Aemond found himself drawn to Y.N's quiet presence, his curiosity piqued by the mystery that surrounded her.
"So, Aemond," Aegon began with a mischievous glint in his eye, "do you think Y.N would be as shy in bed as she is here?"
Aemond's smile faltered, his amusement evaporating in an instant as he shot his brother a stern look. He was not amused by Aegon's insinuation, finding it distasteful and disrespectful.
"Aegon, that's enough," Aemond said sharply, his voice carrying a note of warning.
Aegon's grin widened, unfazed by his brother's reprimand. "Oh, come on, Aemond. I was just kidding. Lighten up."
But Aemond wasn't in the mood for jokes, especially not at Y.N's expense. He could see the discomfort in her eyes, the way she seemed to shrink back even further at Aegon's words. It wasn't fair to make her the subject of such crude humour, especially when she had done nothing to warrant it.
"I said that's enough," Aemond repeated firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Aegon held up his hands in mock surrender, though the smirk never left his face. "Fine, fine. I'll behave."
As the tension between them eased, Aemond turned his attention back to Y.N, determined to make her feel comfortable despite his brother's thoughtless remark. And as he caught her eye and offered her an apologetic smile, he silently vowed to ensure that she felt respected and valued for the rest of the evening.
As the evening drew to a close and it was time to say their goodbyes, Aemond gathered his courage and approached Y.N, his heart pounding in his chest. "Y.N," he began, his voice slightly nervous but determined, "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me?"
Y.N's cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink, but a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I would love to," she replied softly, her eyes shining with shy anticipation.
Aemond felt a surge of relief and joy flood through him at her acceptance, his heart soaring at the prospect of spending more time with her. "Great," he said, unable to contain the grin that spread across his face. "Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go? Maybe the cinema, or somewhere else?"
Y.N's blush deepened, but she shook her head. "The cinema sounds perfect," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Alright then," Aemond said, his excitement bubbling over. "How about we meet tomorrow evening at 7pm at the cinema? We can catch a movie and maybe grab dinner afterwards?"
Y.N nodded eagerly, a shy smile playing on her lips. "That sounds wonderful," she agreed, her eyes meeting his with a newfound confidence.
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As Y.N departed from Helaena's apartment, leaving Aemond with a heart full of anticipation for their upcoming date, Aegon couldn't resist the opportunity to tease his younger brother once more.
"Well, well, little brother," Aegon teased, a playful smirk dancing on his lips, "looks like you've got yourself a shy little bird there. Are you sure you can handle her?"
Aemond shot his brother a pointed look, his patience wearing thin. "Aegon, enough with the jokes," he chided, his tone firm.
Helaena, sensing the tension in the air, quickly intervened, elbowing Aegon in the ribs with a reproachful glare. "Stop it, Aegon," she scolded, her voice carrying a note of warning. "Y.N is very shy, and I don't want her to get hurt."
Aegon winced slightly at the jab but couldn't resist a playful grin. "Alright, alright," he relented, holding up his hands in surrender. "I'll behave, I promise."
Aemond turned to Helaena, his expression earnest as he spoke. "You don't need to worry, Helaena. I'll be good to Y.N. I promise to treat her with the respect and kindness she deserves."
Helaena smiled warmly at her brother, her eyes shining with pride. "I know you will, Aemond," she said softly, her voice filled with confidence. "Just be yourself, and everything will be fine."
The next day -
As the clock struck 7 pm, Aemond Targaryen stood outside the cinema, his heart pounding with nervous anticipation. His eyes scanned the bustling crowd, searching for a glimpse of Y.N. And there she was, emerging from the sea of people, a vision of beauty in a sun dress paired with a cardigan that hugged her delicate frame.
Aemond couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration as he approached her, his lips curling into a warm smile. "Y.N," he greeted her, his voice tinged with excitement.
Y.N's cheeks flushed a rosy pink at his greeting, but a radiant smile graced her lips as she returned his gaze. "Hi, Aemond," she replied softly, her eyes sparkling with shy anticipation.
Together, they entered the cinema, the anticipation of the evening ahead hanging in the air like a delicate promise. As they settled into their seats, Aemond couldn't help but notice the way Y.N's eyes widened with excitement at the prospect of the movie they were about to watch.
The lights dimmed, and the screen flickered to life, casting a soft glow over the darkened theater. Aemond glanced at Y.N out of the corner of his eye, noting the way she jumped at the sudden burst of sound and movement on the screen.
As the movie unfolded, Aemond found himself more amused by Y.N's reactions than by the film itself. He couldn't help but smile as she buried her face in her hands during the suspenseful moments, her fingers peeking through to cover her eyes.
Unable to resist the urge to offer her comfort, Aemond gently draped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close in a gesture of silent reassurance. Y.N tensed slightly at the unexpected contact, but soon relaxed into his embrace, leaning into him with a sigh of relief.
After the movie ended, Aemond and Y.N emerged from the cinema into the bustling city streets, the cool evening air tinged with the aroma of freshly baked pizza. Aemond glanced at Y.N, wondering where she might want to go for dinner, but he was pleasantly surprised when she suggested his favorite pizza place.
"Really? That's one of my favorite spots!" Aemond exclaimed, a smile spreading across his face. "I didn't know you liked it too."
Y.N's cheeks flushed with a shy smile. "I've actually been there a few times before," she admitted. "It's delicious."
As they made their way to the pizza place, Aemond couldn't shake the feeling of gratitude that swelled within him. Unlike his ex-girlfriend Alys, who always expected him to foot the bill for everything, Y.N seemed considerate and respectful.
When they reached the restaurant, Aemond reached for his wallet to pay for their meal, but Y.N gently placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. "Let me get this one," she insisted, her eyes meeting his with a determined gaze. "You paid for the cinema, so it's only fair that I treat you to dinner."
Aemond's heart warmed at her gesture, touched by her thoughtfulness and generosity. "Are you sure?" he asked, wanting to make sure she was comfortable with the arrangement.
Y.N nodded, her smile soft and genuine. "I'm sure. Besides, it's the least I can do after you invited me out tonight."
With a grateful nod, Aemond put his wallet back in jeans pocket, allowing Y.N to take care of the bill. As they sat together, enjoying their meal and each other's company, Aemond couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment settle over him.
With Y.N by his side, he knew that he had found someone who appreciated him for who he was, and not someone who only valued him not for his family name or wealth.
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As the evening drew to a close, Aemond walked Y.N back to her small one-bedroom flat, just a few blocks away from where he lived with Helaena. The gentle hum of conversation between them filled the air, punctuated by the occasional laugh and shared smile.
As they reached Y.N's door, she turned to Aemond with a shy smile. "Would you mind waiting here for a moment?" she asked softly. "I just need to grab something."
"Of course," Aemond replied with a nod, curiosity piqued by her request.
Y.N disappeared into her flat, leaving Aemond standing outside her door with a sense of anticipation building within him. He couldn't help but wonder what she was up to, his mind racing with possibilities.
Moments later, Y.N reappeared, holding something in her hands. Aemond's breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of the dragon-shaped pastry she held out to him, a soft smile playing on her lips.
"I made this for you," Y.N said softly, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "It's filled with jam. I hope you like it."
Aemond's heart swelled with gratitude and affection as he accepted the pastry from her. "Thank you, Y.N," he said sincerely, his voice filled with warmth. "I'm sure it's delicious."
As he took a bite of the pastry, Aemond couldn't help but be struck by the sweetness of the gesture. It was a simple gift, but it spoke volumes about Y.N's thoughtfulness and care. And as he savored the flavor of the jam-filled pastry, he knew that he had found something truly special in her – a connection that he cherished more than words could express.
In a daring moment of impulse, Aemond leaned in, his heart pounding in his chest as he closed the distance between them. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, a tentative exploration of the unknown, and in that fleeting moment, time seemed to stand still.
It was unlike anything Aemond had ever felt before – a surge of warmth and electricity that coursed through his veins, igniting a spark that set his soul ablaze. In that moment of intimacy, he felt a connection with Y.N that transcended the boundaries of mere physical attraction, a deep and profound understanding that resonated to the very core of his being.
As they parted, their eyes met in silent communion, the intensity of their gaze speaking volumes without the need for words.
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As Aemond and Y.N's relationship blossomed, they found themselves drawn to each other like magnets, spending every available moment together exploring the intricacies of their budding romance. Their days were filled with laughter and shared experiences.
One sunny afternoon, as they lounged in Y.N's cozy kitchen, the scent of freshly baked goods wafting through the air, Y.N suggested that they try their hand at baking a sponge cake together.
"It'll be fun," she said with a smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "And besides, I've been dying to teach you how to bake."
Aemond chuckled, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure I'll be any good at it, but I'll give it a try."
With Y.N's patient guidance, they set to work, measuring out ingredients and mixing them together with care. Aemond couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as he watched Y.N work her magic in the kitchen, her skill and expertise evident in every precise movement.
As they popped the cake into the oven and waited for it to bake, Aemond found himself growing more and more excited at the prospect of tasting their creation. When the timer finally beeped, signaling that the cake was done, they eagerly pulled it out of the oven and set it on the counter to cool.
With bated breath, they sliced into the cake and took their first bite, only to find that it was a little on the dry side. Aemond's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but Y.N simply laughed and reached for the whipped cream, insisting that it would make everything better.
Together, they devoured the cake, laughing and joking as they shared in the simple pleasure of each other's company.
As Aemond and Y.N sat together one evening, the warmth of the fire casting a soft glow over the room, Aemond felt a sudden urge to confide in her, to share the depths of his past with the woman he had grown to love.
"Y.N," he began, his voice quiet but resolute, "there's something I need to tell you."
Y.N turned to him, concern etched into her features. "What is it, Aemond?"
Taking a deep breath, Aemond launched into the painful tale of his relationship with Alys – the belittling words, the constant infidelity, the toxic cycle of breaking up and getting back together.
"It was a dark time in my life," Aemond confessed, his voice heavy with emotion. "I was lost, and I didn't know how to break free from the hold she had over me."
Y.N listened in silence, her heart aching for the pain that Aemond had endured. She reached out and took his hand in hers, offering him the comfort of her touch.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Aemond," she said softly, her voice filled with empathy. "But you're stronger now."
Aemond nodded, a sense of gratitude washing over him for Y.N's unwavering support. "Yes, I have," he replied, his voice tinged with determination. "And I owe it to you, Y.N. You've shown me what it means to be truly loved, and I'll never take that for granted."
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As the night worn on and the two of them shared kisses, the unspoken question of what was going to happen next hung in the air.
“I-I’ve never done it before” muttered Y.N shyly as she pressed her face into Aemond’s chest.
“It’s ok. We don’t need to do this, not until you’re ready” replied Aemond stroking her hair softly.
“B-But I want to. I want you to be my first” whispered Y.N.
“Only if you’re sure, I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything” said Aemond firmly.
“I’m sure Aemond. I want this-I want you” exclaimed Y.N as she took his hand and led him to her bedroom.
Despite his experience, Aemond had never so nervous in his entire life, his hands shook as he slowly undressed himself.
Y.N gently tugged off the dress she was wearing and Aemond could feel his mouth watering at the sight of her delectable body.
“I-I don’t know what to do” muttered Y.N her cheeks tinged pink.
“It’s ok-I’ll take care of you” replied Aemond as he directed Y.N to sit on the end if the bed.
“I trust you” replied Y.N quietly.
Aemond smiled as he knelt on the floor, lowering his head between Y.N’s legs.
“Aemond-“ shrieked Y.N her eyes rolling into the back of her head as Aemond’s tongue swept across her slick wet folds.
Y.N bit the back of her hand to keep herself from screaming as Aemond began using his long fingers to tease her entrance.
“Let me hear you”.
“A-Aemond. Oh god. Please” begged Y.N
Aemond pressed two fingers inside Y.N, moving them against a spot that made her entire body shake, his tongue moving against her folds, his lips wrapping around her pearl.
“I know your almost there. Let it happen my sweet. Come for me” whispered Aemond.
Y.N arched her back and let out a scream as her pleasure erupted.
Aemond crawled up Y.N’s body, placing gentle kisses on her skin as he moved higher and higher.
Y.N blushed furiously when she saw that Aemond’s chin was shining with her slick.
“Calm yourself my little bird” murmured Aemond.
“I-I’ve never-” mumbled Y.N putting her hands over her face in embarrassment.
“Was that your first peak?” asked Aemond as he gently pulled away her hands and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.
Y.N blushed and nodded quickly, jumping when she felt Aemond’s cock against her.
“Don’t worry, I’ll go slow” whispered Aemond as he reached down and took hold of his hard cock rubbing it along Y.N’s wet folds.
“Ok. I’m ready” replied Y.N, her heart pounding.
Aemond hesitates for a moment, his brow furrowed.
“I-don’t have a condom”.
“Oh-I have some” replied Y.N.
“You do?” questioned Aemond.
“I bought them from the pharmacy and-“ replied Y.N, her face flushed.
“-It’s ok-where are they?” asked Aemond.
“I-In the drawer” uttered Y.N.
Aemond nodded and briefly moved away from Y.N, he quickly opened the drawer and pulled out the box of condoms.
“Are they the right ones-there were so many different kinds and-“
“-They’re good” replied Aemond as he opened the box and took out a condom.
Y.N closed her eyes as Aemond ripped open the foil packet and rolled the condom down his length.
Aemond leaned forward again and placed a series of kisses along Y.N’s neck, his hand gently cupping her breast before he sucked the rosy bud into his mouth, his tongue rolling around the stiffened peak.
“L-Let me see you” whispered Y.N.
Aemond released her nipple with a soft pop and frowned.
“It’s not a pretty sight-I wouldn’t want to frighten you” replied Aemond.
“Nothing about you could frighten me Aemond-“ breathed Y.N
Aemond hesitated for a moment before he pulled off his eye patch, revealing a sparkling sapphire. 
“Beautiful” whispered Y.N as she took Aemond’s head in her hands and placed a kiss upon the scar.
Aemond smiled before he knelt between her thighs, supporting himself above her on his forearm while his other hand guides his cock to her wet centre.
“Oooh Aemond” exclaims Y.N
Aemond slowly pushes the blunt head of his cock inside. Just the tip feels okay but then he’s pushing inside, and it stings, Y.N clenches her eyes shut as his cock fully slides into her, his hips coming to rest against hers.
“Are you ok?” asked Aemond.
“It hurts,” cried Y.N
“Do you want me to stop-I can pull out” whispered Aemond.
“N-No g-give me a moment” whimpered Y.N.
Aemond stops, holding himself above Y.N, she can feel his cock throbbing inside her.
For a few silent minutes, Aemond begins to press gentle kisses all over Y.N’s face and neck, then after the sting has faded somewhat, Y.N gently moves her hips.
“I-I think you can move”.
Aemond exhales shakily, pulling out halfway only to thrust right back in.
“You’re taking me so well little bird,” whispers Aemond soothingly, thrusting again, harder this time.
Gradually he gets into a rhythm, his movements slow but powerful.
Y.N brings her hands up to his shoulders, clinging to him as his thrusts shift her up and down the bed. The wooden frame creaking slightly.
Aemond makes a strangled sort of sound and lowers himself onto Y.N even more, kissing her passionately.
His cock still thrusting in and out.
Y.N kisses him back, threading her fingers through his silky hair.
Aemond breaks the kiss, breathing heavily.
Y.N can feel herself clenching around him as his cock keeps hitting the same spot inside her.
“Ooo Aemond-f-faster. P-please”
Aemond groans as he begins to move faster pounding into her, their skin slapping together.
“Aemond-Aemond-”
“You’re so fucking perfect little bird, mine all mine” growls Aemond.
“Y-Yes, yours all yours” moans Y.N squirming as he pleasure peaks and she explodes.
Aemond lets out a long low groan, his hips bucking wildly. His cock twitching as he spills into the condom.
Aemond’s hips finally stagger and stop. He buries his face in the crook of her neck, resting for a moment before he slowly pulls out.
“Are you ok?” asked Aemond.
“I’m fine” whispered Y.N smiling breathlessly.
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In the days following their intimate moment together, Aemond's behaviour began to change, his once carefree demeanour replaced by a sense of unease and agitation. He grew increasingly distant, his mind preoccupied with thoughts he refused to share with Y.N.
As they sat together one evening, the air heavy with tension, Y.N couldn't help but notice the way Aemond's eyes flickered nervously towards his phone every time it buzzed with a new message or notification. She reached out to touch his hand, a gesture of comfort and concern, but he withdrew from her touch, his expression clouded with frustration.
"What's wrong, Aemond?" Y.N asked softly, her voice laced with worry.
Aemond's jaw clenched, his patience wearing thin as he snapped at her in a fit of frustration. "Nothing, okay? Just leave me alone."
Y.N recoiled at his harsh words, hurt flashing across her features as she withdrew into herself, uncertain of how to respond. She had never seen Aemond like this before, his normally calm and collected demeanour shattered by whatever demons haunted him.
As the days passed, Aemond's behaviour only grew more erratic, his temper flaring at the slightest provocation. He withdrew further and further into himself, shutting Y.N out.
Things didn’t improve and a few weeks later when Y.N was walking to work, and she spotted Aemond talking to a dark haired woman.
There was something about the way they interacted that made her stomach churn with unease – the woman's lingering touches, the way Aemond seemed visibly uncomfortable in her presence.
Unable to tear her eyes away, Y.N watched in silent horror as the woman leaned in and planted a kiss on Aemond's lips. A surge of pain shot through her chest, the betrayal cutting her to the core as she struggled to process what she had just witnessed.
Without a second thought, Y.N turned on her heel and fled, the tears streamed down her cheeks, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she fought to escape the suffocating grip of heartbreak that threatened to consume her whole.
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Aemond was frantic, all his calls and messages to Y.N went unanswered, his desperation grew, a gnawing sense of dread settling in the pit of his stomach.
Determined to make amends, Aemond made his way to Y.N's flat, his heart pounding with nervous anticipation. He knocked on the door, calling out her name in a voice tinged with desperation, but there was no response – only silence echoing back at him like a cruel mockery of his pain.
Growing increasingly frantic, Aemond tried again and again to reach Y.N, but each attempt was met with the same resounding silence. And as he stood outside her door, his pleas falling on deaf ears, he felt a sense of despair wash over him, knowing that he had pushed her away with his own foolishness.
But it wasn't just Y.N who turned her back on him – even Helaena, his own sister, greeted him with a cold shoulder, her expression tight with disappointment as she refused to meet his gaze.
He had expected her to be upset, but the fury in her eyes was more intense than he had ever imagined.
"What were you thinking, Aemond?" Helaena snapped, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion. "Y.N saw you with Alys. Do you have any idea how much you've hurt her?"
Aemond's heart clenched at the mention of Y.N's name, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him like a leaden weight. "Helaena, you have to believe me," he protested, his voice thick with emotion. "It wasn't what it looked like. Alys kissed me, I didn't want her to, and I pushed her away immediately."
Helaena's eyes narrowed in disbelief, her jaw clenching with frustration. "Do you expect me to believe that?" she demanded, her voice rising with each word. "Y.N saw you with Alys, Aemond. She saw it with her own eyes."
Aemond's heart sank at the realization of the damage his actions had caused, the truth of Helaena's words hitting him like a punch to the gut. "I swear it's the truth, Helaena," he pleaded, desperation creeping into his voice. "I would never hurt Y.N like that. You have to believe me."
Helaena's expression softened slightly, a flicker of doubt crossing her features. "I want to believe you, Aemond," she admitted, her voice softer now, tinged with sadness. "But you need to understand the gravity of the situation. Y.N is hurting, and it's because of you."
Aemond bowed his head in shame, the weight of his guilt threatening to crush him under its unbearable burden. "I know," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "And I'll do whatever it takes to make things right. I just hope that Y.N will give me the chance to prove myself to her."
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As the rain poured down in torrents, soaking Aemond to the bone, he stood outside Y.N's flat, his heart heavy with regret and longing. He knew she was inside, just beyond the closed door, and he couldn't bear the thought of leaving without at least trying to make things right.
With a trembling hand, Aemond knocked on the door, each rap echoing loudly in the quiet of the rainy night. "Y.N, please," he called out, his voice raw with emotion. "Please let me in. I need to talk to you."
For a moment, there was only silence, the sound of the rain pounding against the pavement the only response to Aemond's pleas. But just as he was about to turn away in defeat, he heard the faint sound of movement from inside the flat.
Seconds stretched into eternity as Aemond waited with bated breath, his heart pounding in his chest. And then, finally, the door creaked open, revealing Y.N's tear-stained face, her eyes red and swollen from crying.
Aemond's heart clenched at the sight of her pain, a wave of guilt washing over him like a tidal wave. "Y.N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please, let me in. I need to explain."
Y.N hesitated for a moment, her gaze searching Aemond's face for any sign of sincerity. And then, slowly, she stepped aside, allowing him to enter the warmth and safety of her flat.
As Aemond stepped over the threshold, he felt a sense of relief wash over him, knowing that he had been given a second chance to make things right. And as he closed the door behind him, he vowed to do whatever it took to earn back Y.N's trust and forgiveness,
Taking a deep breath, he began to speak, his voice trembling with emotion.
"Y.N, there's something I need to tell you," he began, his words coming out in a rush. "Alys has been-she's been bombarding me with messages. She told me she was pregnant."
Y.N's eyes widened in shock, her breath catching in her throat as she struggled to comprehend the gravity of Aemond's words. "Pregnant?" she whispered; her voice barely audible.
Aemond nodded, his expression grim. "Yes," he continued, his voice heavy with regret. "But I demanded a DNA test. I couldn't-I couldn't just take her word for it. And she kept refusing, insisting that the baby was mine."
Y.N's hands flew to her mouth, her eyes brimming with tears as the full weight of Aemond's confession settled over her like a dark cloud. "Oh, Aemond," she murmured, her voice choked with emotion. "I-I don't know what to say."
Aemond reached out to take her hand, his touch gentle and reassuring. "I'm so sorry, Y.N," he whispered, his voice thick with remorse. "I should have told you sooner. I should have been honest with you from the start."
“Yes you should have” replied Y.N.
"I refused to believe Alys," he confessed, his voice strained with emotion. "So, I kept insisting on a DNA test. She resisted at first, but eventually, she agreed."
Y.N's eyes widened in realization, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place as she understood the gravity of Aemond's revelation. "That was the day I saw you with her," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Aemond nodded, his heart heavy with remorse. "Yes," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry, Y.N. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just trying to protect myself, to make sure that I wasn't being manipulated by Alys."
Y.N's mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions as she processed Aemond's revelation. The image of Alys kissing him, coupled with the news of her pregnancy, had led her to assume the worst – that Aemond was the father of Alys's unborn child.
"Aemond," she began tentatively, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "Does-does that mean you're the father?"
Aemond's expression hardened, his jaw set with determination as he shook his head vehemently. "No, the DNA wasn’t a match" he declared firmly. "I'm not the father, Alys kissing me was just her last desperate attempt to try and manipulate me."
Y.N's breath caught in her throat at his words, a wave of relief washing over her as the weight of uncertainty lifted from her shoulders. "Oh, Aemond," she breathed, her voice filled with gratitude. "I'm so glad to hear that."
Aemond reached out to take her hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "I would never betray your trust like that, Y.N," he vowed earnestly. "You mean everything to me, and I would do anything to prove that to you. I love you"
Tears welled up in Y.N's eyes as she looked into Aemond's eye, seeing the sincerity and love shining brightly within them. "I know, Aemond," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "And I forgive you."
But Aemond wasn't finished yet. With trembling hands, he held up a soggy cardboard box, the remnants of his failed attempt at making her a cake. "I even tried to make you a cake," he confessed, his voice laced with self-deprecation. "But it's all ruined now."
Y.N couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the ruined cake, her heart swelling with affection for the man standing before her. With a playful grin, she knocked the box out of his hand, sending it tumbling to the ground, before throwing herself into his arms and kissing him passionately.
"Aemond," she whispered against his lips, her voice filled with love and gratitude. "I love you too."
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As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Aemond and Y.N's relationship blossomed anew, their love growing stronger with each passing day.
And as they stood side by side, hand in hand, they knew that they never wanted to be apart again. So, after much discussion and deliberation, they made the decision to take the next step in their journey together – they would move in together.
With excited hearts and eager anticipation, Aemond and Y.N began the process of finding their perfect home, a place where they could build a life together filled with love, laughter, and countless cherished memories.
And when they finally found the perfect apartment, with its cozy rooms and sunlit windows, they knew that it was meant to be. With smiles on their faces and love in their hearts, they signed the lease and began the process of making their new house a home.
With their love blossoming stronger each day, Aemond felt the time was right to take their relationship to the next level. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Y.N, and he couldn't wait another moment to make her his forever.
So on a crisp autumn evening, with the setting sun casting a warm glow over the world, Aemond led Y.N to his favourite spot in the park. As they walked hand in hand, their laughter floating on the gentle breeze, Aemond's heartbeat with nervous anticipation.
Reaching a secluded clearing surrounded by trees ablaze with fiery hues, Aemond paused, his heart racing with emotion. Taking a deep breath, he got down on one knee, his eyes shining with love as he looked up at Y.N.
"Y.N," he began, his voice steady despite the butterflies in his stomach. "From the moment I met you, I knew you were the one. You've brought so much joy and love into my life, and I can't imagine spending another day without you by my side."
Y.N's eyes widened in surprise, her hand flying to her mouth in shock as she realized what was happening. Tears welled up in her eyes as she listened to Aemond's words, her heart overflowing with love for the man who stood before her.
"And so," Aemond continued, his voice trembling with emotion, "I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Y.N, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?"
The words hung in the air; the silence broken only by the sound of their hearts beating as one. And then, finally, Y.N's eyes filled with tears of joy as she threw herself into Aemond's arms, laughter bubbling up from deep within her soul.
"Yes, Aemond," she cried, her voice ringing out with pure happiness. "Yes, I will marry you!"
And as they stood together in the golden light of the setting sun, their hearts overflowing with love and happiness, Aemond slipped a beautiful ring onto Y.N's finger, sealing their love with a promise that would last a lifetime.
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Note
"Words cannot describe the pure rage that your presence instills in me," Wednesday said with a dangerous air of calm surrounding their voice, their gaze trained right onto you.
The reader gave her a confused look. "Is this a confession?"
I think this is something she would totally say to the reader
I’m cursing your name (Wednesday Addams x reader)
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Masterlist
Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader
Word count: 568 words
Summary: You were just so clueless that the others began wondering how in the hell you managed to stay alive for so long
Warning: FLUFF and the reader being a completly sweetheart that must be protected and loved by all of us because they're just so clueless that if they left you unsupervised you might fall into a pit and die
A/N: I love writting for her
Coments, Reblogs and Asks are happily received! I love to read your lovely coments :)
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The first thing the other students think of you is that how in the hell you managed to stay alive and completely unharmed all your life. You were a magnet for disasters, it didn’t matter how big or small they were, you were a magnet.
You set fired to your literature project. Don’t ask how.
You accidently burned the tools miss Thornhill had lend you for your class. Don’t ask how.
You managed to lose all of your shoes in a Friday night. Don’t ask how.
Jesus, you managed to get lost on the Poe Cup Race…And you weren’t even competing! You just got lost.
You would think your special hability was fire…well, it was not, the curious part was that it was far beyond that. And the students began taking pity against your unlucky life. Some of them even going as far as to baby you into safety. You didn’t care to be honest, you were so oblivious to everything that most of the things that happened you just took it with a confuse smile.
Well, there was one student that was getting frustrated and annoyed with you. Wednesday Addams had the unlucky luck to be partnered with you for a project and she couldn’t stand the fact that you were a version of Enid…just with the unlucky level maximized to 200%
She walked into the cafeteria, completely annoyed and angry at how the progress she had made with you was now gone, puffed into existence and you only wanted to see it! She was going to kill you and no one could prevented.
She found you eating a plate of ramen, completely unaware of her deadly stare or the knife on her hand. “You.” She whispered and everybody stopped, watching her with fear but not you, you were still eating.
Wednesday pushed your food out of your way, you frowned in sadness. “Hey, I was eating that.” You pouted.
"You are the worst human being on this planet, I have no idea how you manage to survive, you ar pathetic, worthless and idiotic.” She paused, putting her knife harshly on the table, everyone winced but you, you stared at her with a smile. “Words cannot describe the pure rage that your presence instills in me," Wednesday said with a dangerous air of calm surrounding their voice, their gaze trained right onto you.
“Uh…Wednesday, you might want to tone it down.” Enid tried to calm her but Wednesday threw a murderous look at her. “Yeah…continue, ignore I said anything.”
The reader gave her a confused look at the knife and then on Wednesday. "Is this a confession?" You asked, your head tilting to the side.
Wednesday stared at you, were you that dumb?
“Because it kinda sounded like one.” You touched the knife, wincing when you cut your finger with the blade. “Wow, sharpy, but yeah, sure.” You stood up, putting your hands on her shoulders. Wednesday was confused, what was happening? She was threatening you, wasn’t she? “There’s this movie I want to see on Friday! We should totally go! Don’t worry I’ll get the passes! This is going to be so awesome!”
You grabbed your backpack and left the cafeteria with a huge smile.
Wednesday stayed there, glued on the spot, her face frowning in confusion.
“Wednesday, I think,” Enid began, watching the door where you disappeared. “I think you just got yourself a date?”
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kairiscorner · 9 months
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(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
ok but like imagine miguel finding your social media and like
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miguel was never one to initiate having a social media account, he found it as a worthless distraction from such important work, it was an idle indulgence for attention-hungry people that he found no interest in. you did a whole lot of convincing to get him to sign up for an instagram, when every time you pitched the idea to him, he always declined before you could even finish.
it was only when lyla made an instagram account for miguel by your request that he was finally introduced to the world of social media. "i still believe it was because you wanted an instagram." miguel muttered as lyla kept a tab open, scrolling and liking through the spider people in the spider society's posts. "so what if i did? you need it anyway." she responded as miguel side-eyed her. "what would i even need it for?" "stalking them!" lyla said cheerily, pertaining to you, who kept urging miguel to get social media.
"i would neve–" miguel was about to speak up, but his monitor's display was replaced by the image of your instagram's profile. "they went on vacation, right? i'm betting they posted a lot of photos about it. according to my statistics, they post every 25 minutes on the–" "i'm not looking through this." miguel said as he tried exiting the tab, but lyla had it locked on his monitor. "just give in, mig." she said with a teasing tone as miguel grumbled.
reluctantly, miguel did as the AI assistant said, and scrolled through your account. he scrolled through picture after picture, and though he enjoyed seeing these pictures of you... he was unsure of what exactly he was supposed to do. "so what do i do, just keep scrolling?" "you hit that little heart icon, see what happens." lyla suggested, and miguel did as he was told. "...okay, what now?" he asked her, confused. "wait for it..."
suddenly, a message appeared in miguel's inbox. lyla opened it for him, and it was from you. "YOU GOT INSTA??????" was your message to him, with little screaming cat emojis following the message. lyla teased miguel as he typed out his reply. "i did." he messaged, while you replied almost immediately. "and i see you liked my pic <3" "i did?" "yeah, i'm glad you like what you saw :>" "no problem and they really were adorable to look at."
"'adorable'? really?" lyla asked him, unimpressed as miguel's face got all flustered. "mind your business." he snapped back as he got a reply from you. "i'll be the first one to like all your pics, boss (。•̀ᴗ-)✧" miguel chuckled to himself a little when he saw that kaomoji in your message and smiled as he thought of you waiting for him to post something for you to like.
the sound of a camera shutter was heard next to miguel as lyla went on her end of miguel's instagram and posted a photo of miguel smiling widely and getting all flustered in the face. your username was tagged in the caption as lyla hit 'post', and soon... miguel got the notification: you liked his photo. miguel's eyes widened at two things: you liked his photo, he posted a photo? miguel turned to face lyla as she grinned, folded her arms over her chest and mouthed him a 'nailed it' before she logged off.
miguel wasn't too mad about it, he could figure out how to delete it on his own, but a part of him didn't want to. the fact you liked it... it sent a warmth through his whole body and made him smile a little wider. maybe he'd keep this whole social media thing going, it wouldn't hurt, right?
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everlastlady · 6 months
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Bloody Legend: Mammon X Reader 2
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✰- Author's Note: Writer's block sucks, I'm going to try and write then jump back to request. Because so many request in my inbox. I can say my love for helluva boss is slowly coming back especially thanks to that new episode. Also I made a Mammon bot on character ai, so if you want that link just let me know. I hope that you guys enjoy part 2 of this Bloody Legend. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡
✰- Word Count: None because I'm writing this on mobile app and not my laptop, yes yes boo and throw tomatoes at me.
✰- Story Contains: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Controlling Mammon, Striker, Verosika, Alastor, Guilt Tripping, Mental Breakdown, & Hitting In The Feels. Basing The Reader's Panic Attacks Off My Own.
✰- Posted: 10/31/2023
✰- Part 1
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" Are you happy and doing okay working for Mammon? " Striker looked at. You looked away from the western man before taking a deep breathe and letting out a off laughter. " Of course! Mammon is the best, he saved me from that shit hole comedy club in Wrath. He has giving me everything I needed to take care of me and my mom. " You said. Striker again could see pure bullshit through your words. " Hm, and you choose to go up on stage looking like your own on death's door step? " He asked pointing towards the mirror. You truly did look exhausted and tired. From training day and night to be perfect for Mammon and your fans. You didn't know what to say, Striker was more intimidating then Mammon. You dug your nails into the palm of your hand. " I'm fine! What are you a doctor, you look more like some wannabe cowboy! " You yelled at him while standing up. Striker stepped back hissing as his tail rattled. But he couldn't hit you or yell back no, he could tell you weren't doing right from how you reacted, he could tell that you were upset with your outburst.
" I'm sorry... " You said. You turned and looked in the mirror and saw nothing ... You saw nothing. " I have to be my best, no breaks. I have to keep trying because if I don't then I'm not but a disappointment to Mammon, my mom, my fans, and especially myself. If I don't keep pushing and remind myself to do my best. Then I'm just worthless and lazy. I have to keep pushing through no matter how tired I become. " You said while hugging yourself and sobbing. " I have to, I have to, I have to. " You continued to tremble and sob. Striker stood there looking at you. How his heart broke for you. " Hey... " Striker stepped forward and pulled your arms away. He guided you towards the couch and sat you down. Placing the blanket over you. " Pushing yourself isn't always great, just because people love your work doesn't mean you need to over work yourself. You should sacrifice your happiness for that green blob and those people especially those creeps I saw jacking it underneath the table. Striker shivered thinking about it.
" You can still love doing something but you should also take breaks until you feel like it's okay to jump back into it. I understand that the rich and powerful can give us everything we need. But in reality we don't need them, because they don't make us or what we do any better. I'm sure you could have gotten out of that comedy club yourself, I understand you love your mom and you can continue to support her without Mammon. " Striker grabbed a water bottle off the table and handed it to you as he wiped away your tears. " Here drink up. " He said. You smiled weakly, and opened the water taking a few sips before setting it down. Striker pulled out a piece of chocolate from his pocket and opened it; when he offered you a piece, you shook your head. " No, thanks, Mammon has me on this diet he said I need to watch my weight so that the sex dolls sell. " You said looking down. Striker almost dropped the chocolate and shook his head in disgust. " Just take the chocolate, darlin, he won't notice he's one to talk about laying off food. " Striker placed the chocolate in your hand.
You laughed and took the chocolate. You enjoyed the sweet treat, how delicious it was. Striker was right, you were sure Mammon won't notice so you ate some more chocolate. Striker watched you from the corner of his eyes and smiled seeing you happily eat away at the chocolate. " I really appreciate you some how sneaking into my dressing room. " Well pumpkin, I'm a assassin so getting pass security and sneaking into places is something I've been doing for a long time. " Striker said. Your eyes lit up. " An assassin? " You titled your head and were curious about something. " Do you work for that one company i. m.p ? " You asked. Striker rolled his eyes. " Pfft no, I don't work for that shit company, I'd rather wipe my ass with sandpaper before having to work with that Royal demon's pet and two vermin. I don't have an issue with the hellhound... yet, I actually hate that company, so if you ever want or need a real assassin then call me. " Striker pulled out a white card that had his name and number it also said " don't call on holidays or after 9pm "
You nodded and put the card in your bag. The door opened expecting the hellhounds or Mammon. It was actually Verosika.... and Mammon. " There you are babe, I was looking for you. Alright let's go me and Mammon finished talking. " Verosika sounded annoyed and tired. But her tone changed when she saw you. " (Y/N), I love your performance tonight. I can't wait to work with you on Friday. Shopping will be fun tomorrow and I booked us a spa appointment. " She said smiling. " Thank you that sounds nice. " You said. Striker looked like an angry cat while staring at Mammon who spotted the chocolate wrapper. " (Y/N) you weren't indulging in sweets because you know that we have a strict diet for you. " He said while picking up the wrapper. You were going to apologize but Striker snatched the wrapper from Mammon. " It's mine... " Striker said and placed the wrapper in his pocket. " Diet? " Verosika looked at you and then at Mammon. " Yeah! (Y/N) is on a strict diet to help the sex dolls, autographs, and everything else sell, yoi should try Ms. Mayday it works wonders! " Mammon said while laughing. Striker's eye twitched as he reached for his knife but Verosika stopped him as she laughed while holding back her anger. " Well me and Striker should be going, goodnight to you both. " Verosika said while leaving with Striker.
" I'm glad those two are gone Verosika Mayday isn't too great but she will help with your image! Also I don't like how you were alone with that imp fella, you two didn't do anything.... right? " Mammon stared at you with a dark look his eyes his voice cold. You quickly nodded your head. " He was just asking if there was any positions for security guard because he's a highly trained assassin. " You said stumbling over your words. Mammon's dark expression returned to that cheerful one. " Oh! Great! Highly trained assassin those cost money and by the looks of him, he looks like he charges a lot greedy bastard. I'm sure you are fine with the hellhounds I got you, now let's go have you sign some autographs and show these people that you are a bloody legend! " Mammon said picking you up so that you could fix you up. He always enjoyed dolling you up and being able to make you look your best even your outfits were green like his or white sometimes. Sometimes gossip reports assume that you two are a couple which Mammon didn't mind. Honestly he could see himself dating you and eventually even marrying, oh how he started to daydream about the wedding. " I do~ " He sighed softly. " I do what ? " You asked as Mammon did your make-up. " I-I do think we should charge extra double for a photo and autographs! " He said and looked away. Yes he was definitely going to marry you, and maybe then you won't be able to quit or leave him.
As you walked out of the dressing room behind Mammon. You were in deep thought about what Striker said earlier, maybe he was right but you couldn't tell this to Mammon, you were in deep thought that you accidentally bumped into someone. " sorry! " You said stepping back. " That's quite alright, don't apologize dear. " Said a static like voice. You turned around to see the radio demon Alastor. " Alastor. " You softly said. You never really talked with him. Alastor large yellow toothy grin spreads across his face. " The one and only, do you want to talk perhaps make a deal. " He said offering your hand. Before you could talk. Mammon pulled you away. " (Y/N) stay away from him. " Mammon said. The two of you walk away but when you look back, Alastor stared at you while grinning.
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Hope that you guys enjoyed part 2 don't worry there will be a part 3 with Verosika and Striker trying to help the reader. Maybe I'll include Alastor but he won't play a major role, he's just here for fun because I love him.
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7-wonders · 1 month
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At the Edge of the Universe
Michael Langdon x Reader (Mad Love Act II, Chapter XIV)
Summary: It’s time to meet the residents of Outpost 3 as Michael begins his interviews to see who will make it to the Sanctuary (spoiler alert: not many).
Word count: 4.1k
A note from the author: Surprise Mad Love drop! We are down to our last three or four chapters, can you believe it? I've told myself that I'm not allowed to write anything else until I finish this, so expect updates semi-frequently. Goal is to get this bad boy finished by June! As always—hope you enjoy, and remember that likes, comments, and reblogs make my world go round!
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Mad Love Masterlist
This is your fourth Outpost visit, and as you look out at the small crowd of survivors gathered in the sitting room of Outpost 3, you believe that you can confidently say that every one of them looks exactly the same.
Not appearance-wise, of course. Overseers are allowed to establish their own rules for their respective Outposts, including wardrobes. Most had been pretty laidback, actually. Outpost 3 is by far the most draconian, and you’re already regretting not pushing back on Michael’s decision to have you join him as you sweat in your stiff Victorian gown.
Though outfits and rules may change, what doesn’t is the faces. Every single time, when you and Michael arrive and make your introductions, the faces of the survivors are filled with hope. The hope of new drama, the hope of continued survival, the hope of a way out of the Outpost. It’s so familiar now, and each time, it’s pained you to see. These people that the apocalypse has spared, whether due to circumstance or societal standing, have no idea that they’re just pawns in Michael’s game of chess. No, worse than pawns. They’re nothing but dolls, amusement for Michael to play with before tossing them to the side like they’re worthless.
“My name is Langdon,” Michael starts. Instead of introducing you, he looks to you to introduce yourself, and you press your lips together to keep from smirking. Oh, he’s so going to regret this.
He immediately does the moment that you introduce yourself with your first and last name. Your legal last name, the one you were born with, and not that of your infernal husband. You can feel him looking at you, surely with barely-contained rage. Instead of looking back, you simply smile warmly at the occupants of Outpost 3, waiting for Michael to get back with the program.
“We won’t sugarcoat the situation,” he says after a brief stumble. “Humanity is on the brink of failure. Our arrival here is crucial to the survival of civilized life on Earth.”
There are a couple of other things that don’t change from Outpost to Outpost, you note as you watch the interaction that unfolds. The questions, for instance, are almost always the same, and almost always asked out of turn in a way that is guaranteed to infuriate Michael. What happened to everybody, what’s the Sanctuary, will some survive, etc. You clock every single question—even robot Ms. Mead’s, though that one wasn’t too surprising since you knew how she was reprogrammed—and listen as Michael gives the same answers that he always does.
Something else that doesn’t change? The abject lust displayed by a good contingent of the survivors. Michael’s a very attractive man, which you obviously know. 18 months is a long time to be surrounded by a very small amount of people day in and day out, and now that there’s fresh blood offering them a chance at salvation, they’ll do anything to convince him that they’re worthy. You frown as the survivors jockey for his attention, to be first. 
Not because you’re jealous or anything. It seems as though the only aspect of Michael’s personality that has remained untouched through his rebirth into a full-fledged Antichrist is his devotion to you. No, you frown because you know that Michael loves to use this to his advantage. After all, lust is one of the seven deadly sins.
“What was that?” Michael asks after the introduction is over and as soon as the doors close behind you in the office in which the interviews will be conducted. 
“What?” you ask coyly, playing a game of your own.
“You know what.”
“Oh, that?” Michael nods exasperatedly. “Langdon’s not my last name.”
You’re not sure if he looks more angered or bewildered, though the combination does have a pleasing shade of red creeping up his neck. “Of course it is, you’re my wife!”
“Not legally,” you retort.
“Well, we can’t exactly go to a courthouse to make it legal.”
“Hmm, maybe you should have waited for us to get to the point where I wanted to get legally married before ending the world.”
Michael’s jaw clenches, and he smirks. “Clever, though I have to say that your attitude is getting old.”
“And yours isn’t?”
You’re both breathing heavily as you glare, daring the other to continue. You fight with Michael so often now that this is a familiar dance, and you know the next move. He goes to kiss you, and though you’re certainly tempted, you put a hand up to stop him.
“No! No, we are not having sex right now.” You try to sound convincing, though you might be attempting to convince yourself more than Michael. It’s just so easy to resort to sex. It’s the one thing that you both agree on in this new world—that you’re good at having sex together. Plus, that’s one of the only times that you don’t completely hate him, and though it pains you to admit it, you look forward to those moments when you forget why you should think him a monster.
Michael raises an eyebrow. “We could, though.”
“No.” 
To drive the point home, you put as much space between you as possible and go to the desk that holds all of the files of every Outpost 3 resident. If there’s one thing that gets Michael’s mind out of the gutter, it’s talking about his magnum opus: the apocalypse.
“What’s Dinah doing here?” That had been quite the shock, to greet Outpost 3 and find yourself meeting the eyes of the (now former, you suppose) voodoo queen. Though her own had widened in a frightened recognition, she looked down at her hands and kept her gaze there for the remainder of the meeting. The man next to her, her son, was one of those who instantly fell a little bit in love with Michael.
“She bought her spot, just like all the other rich fucks.”
“So she won’t be joining us back at the Sanctuary,” you tease.
“Absolutely not, especially now that I have no use for her and her powers.” 
Ever since ending the world, Michael’s powers have blossomed into a whole different beast. He’s so powerful now that you don’t even know the extent, and you don’t think you want to. Where before, he would have needed the help of a voodoo queen or the Supreme when doing something especially complicated or out of his wheelhouse (such as enlisting Dinah’s help when you ate Satan’s poisoned apple or getting a spell from Mallory to reveal the ghost of Cordelia Goode), now, their powers would be worthless to him. You’re no expert when it comes to magic, but you think that his power must be equal to at least ten Supremes.
You certainly don’t want to test that theory.
“How many survivors will be accompanying us back to the Sanctuary, do you think?” you ask.
“Considering I’m not hopeful about interviews, there will be two. A man and a woman, both selected for their optimal genetics.” The interviews are never something to be hopeful over, because they almost always are a disappointment. In the other twelve Outposts, there have been a total of nine survivors that impressed Michael enough with interviews alone that he spared them from their original fates and gave them a spot at the Sanctuary.
“If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the two that are very obviously in love with each other.”
“Which ones?”
You rifle through the folders until you find two with pictures that match who you were looking at in the library. “These two. Timothy and Emily.”
He looks up at you curiously. “How could you tell?”
“When they weren’t watching you, they were staring at each other.” 
Though the two were sat across the room from each other, their eyes were continually drawn together like magnets of differing polarities. You’re a little shocked that Michael couldn’t tell, considering his ‘night vision of the soul,’ as he calls it.
You just call it his creepy Antichrist powers.
You try not to, but you find yourself beginning to look through all of the files. They’re all fairly simple; a headshot, a bio, medical information. Really, Michael only uses them to look official and mysterious as he begins to pick their personalities apart bit by bit. For you however, they help to get to know the survivors, even just a little bit.
That’s precisely why you don’t like looking through these, why you don’t like these visits at all. Because knowing them, and knowing their ultimate fates, is something that makes you sick. Maybe that’s the price you’re forced to pay by the universe for being the Antichrist’s wife. You’re forced to be complicit in the continued mind games and eventual deaths of these people who thought that they were somehow safe after the bombs dropped.
Michael scoffs at the next file you flip open. “That’s one interview I’m dreading.”
“Her?”
“Mhm, Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt.” His words drip with disdain.
Coco…the name strikes some level of familiarity, but you can’t remember where you would have met a Coco. She didn’t look familiar when you saw her and her…interesting hair in the sitting room. She’s obviously a socialite, so maybe she was trending for some scandal or another in the Before. It’s so hard to remember that time, not only for the pain, but because it feels like an entire lifetime ago. 
(Was it really only eighteen months ago that you were preparing for graduation, scrolling through social media, and participating in regular 21st-century society?)
One person who does look familiar? The white-haired stylist whose work Coco sports and the one who claimed the first interview spot before anybody else, Mr. Gallant. You’d recognize him anywhere—his confidence in you was one of the sole reasons you had the courage to go down the stairs and join Michael for your first Cooperative function. But as for him?
“Mr. Gallant didn’t recognize us,” you broach.
“No, he wouldn’t. Those whose services are needed by the Cooperative but aren’t trusted enough to keep their mouths shut are…conditioned to forget.”
“You brainwash them,” you clarify.
“I don’t.” His lips twitch at his own joke. Of course, he doesn’t. That would be getting his hands dirty, which he hates doing, especially now that he has all the resources in the (under)world at his disposal.
“My bad.”
“You’re so interested in this group of survivors. Does that mean you’ll be joining me for interviews?”
When you joined Michael for the first time, at Outpost 6, you said yes when he asked you this question. It was something different, after all, and you were at first interested in being a part of the process and getting to know some new survivors. Of course, this was all before you actually sat in on the first couple of interviews and witnessed Michael’s interview ‘style’ firsthand.
You roll your eyes. “Ugh, no. I hate all the weird sexual tension you have with everyone you interview.”
Naturally, Michael gets the wrong idea and thinks that you’re jealous. He places his hands on the arms of your chair, and leans in until he can meet your eyes. “You’re my one and only, you know that.”
“I do.” You stare back at him unflinchingly. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”
“The sexual tension or that you’re my soulmate?” You simply raise an eyebrow in response, and Michael sighs before straightening up. “Well, a Gray should be arriving at any moment with Mr. Gallant, so if you don’t want to see any ‘weird sexual tension,’ I would suggest leaving now.” 
“Alright then, guess I’ll give myself a tour around ol’ Hawthorne.”
Michael pouts. “I was planning on taking you around tonight after Venable’s curfew.”
“Oh, that sucks. Have fun.” You give him a friendly pat on the shoulder as you leave the room.
Outpost 3 isn’t the largest Outpost you’ve visited, but it’s still pretty expansive. In most cases, this would mean lots of exploring to do. Unfortunately, it seems that Ms. Venable has stripped this place of anything that would make it unique. Hall after hall looks exactly the same in a way that would be disorienting if you weren’t keeping track of your whereabouts. The same boring, gray walls, the same black doors, the same frightened Grays scurrying around.
(If you had to pick the worst part about this Outpost so early on, you’d have to go with the forced servitude of some of the survivors here. Most of the other Outposts had a glorified chore chart that distributed tasks equally among survivors. Others had special privileges given to those who volunteered to work. This system? Well, this system has you hoping that Michael’s especially tough on Ms. Venable during her interview.)
After coming to the unfortunate conclusion that this is about as interesting as it’s going to get for you, you make your way back to where it all started: the library. This room at least has some character, between the fireplace and the music playing. Yes, it might be the same song on repeat, played on a vintage radio, but at least it’s something. 
As it turns out, you won’t be alone. The two that you had noticed earlier, the ones that couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other, are holding hands and whispering to each other on the couch. They spring apart when you enter, and it’s obvious that they’re not expecting anybody to see them. Their attitude, and the way they’re trying to play it off like they weren’t conspiring, gives you pause. What other severe rules has Ms. Venable imposed on those under her care?
“Hello,” you smile at the two warmly in between appraising the titles on the shelves. “Timothy and Emily, right? It’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” Timothy says warily.
Emily, who doesn’t have that same tact, immediately gets to her question. “Are you here to interview us?”
You shake your head. “No, I let Langdon do the interviewing.”
“So…what do you want with us?”
“I don’t want anything with you. I am trying to find some entertainment, because this place is already incredibly boring and I’ve barely been here six hours.”
Timothy laughs. “Yeah, that doesn’t really get better.”
They watch as you continue to peruse the books, waiting to see if this is some sort of trap devised by you and Michael. It’s not—you genuinely just want to find a book you haven’t read yet and escape to your bedroom for a few quiet hours. Unfortunately, nothing is modern here, not even the books, and you end up settling on Frankenstein, which you’ve read a couple of times now. 
“Is it alright if we ask you a couple of questions?” Timothy asks when you turn back around.
So much for a quiet few hours.
You sigh and sit down on the couch opposite the pair. “I can’t guarantee that I can answer all of them, but I’ll certainly try.”
“What’s it like out there?” Timothy asks the question, but both his and Emily’s eyes shine, desperate for any sort of news about the world outside the walls of Outpost 3. You wish you had better to share with them.
“Lawless. You remember the movies about the apocalypse?” They nod. “It’s worse than that. The world is completely unrecognizable, decimated by the bombs. If it weren’t for a map, I wouldn’t even know where we are. Those who survived the blast have been affected by the radiation from the fallout in the most terrible of ways. They have…sores and growths and cancer, all over their bodies. People kill each other for the smallest scrap of clothing. I’ve seen cannibals picking clean the bones of someone they once traveled with, someone that was once their friend.”
“My god,” Emily mutters.
“When M-–Langdon traveled to Outpost 2, his carriage was almost overrun by a band of survivors. They believed there was food inside, and even if there wasn’t, they wanted the chance to hurt somebody that hadn’t yet been hurt by nuclear fallout.” 
That had been a terrifying ordeal to hear Michael recount. He wasn’t scared at all, knowing both that the radiation couldn’t hurt him and that he could (did) kill all of them with the snap of his fingers. But you were, for the simple fact that the world that you had once lived in was completely gone and replaced by one where people hunted each other out of necessity, because it might be the only true meal they could eat in weeks.
“How did he get out of it?” Timothy wonders.
The true answer obviously isn’t something that you’re able to share, so you instead go with what would have been the answer if it were any other member of the Cooperative in the carriage. “The bodies of the carriage have an electric current that can be activated in case of emergency. The attackers were all electrocuted with the push of a button.”
“Langdon mentioned a Sanctuary,” Emily says. “Is that where you live?”
“We both do.”
“What’s it like?” Timothy asks, while at the same time, Emily questions, “Where is it?”
“The Sanctuary is…well, it feels like the world never ended, that it just moved underground. As for the location, I’m afraid that’s classified.” You smile sympathetically, feeling a lot like Michael.
Now that this line of communication has been established, that Emily and Timothy now feel like they can trust you, you can practically see the plethora of questions that they want to ask.
“So how do you end up working for an organization like the Cooperative?”
Now that’s a question you haven’t been asked before. “It’s kind of a long story,” you say with an awkward laugh, wracking your brain to come up with a lie convincing enough that they believe it.
Before you can, the sound of a cane clicking slowly across the floor stops you. You look in the direction of the entryway, where none other than your dour host stands. Her bright orange hair stands in stark contrast to the rest of her outfit, black like yours. She smiles at you with darkly painted lips, but it’s a smile that holds absolutely no warmth.
“Dinner is served,” she announces.
The three of you stand, but only two start to follow Ms. Venable to the kitchen. “I’ll take my leave, then,” you say.
“You won’t be joining us?” She sounds a tad incredulous, as though nobody’s told her no in quite some time. That’s likely the case.
“The Cooperative supplies us with rations of our own, so as not to take from the Outposts’ stockpiles.”
It’s technically true. Michael would rather starve than eat the gelatinous cubes that constitute nutrition, and thanks to the endless powers he’s gifted with, meals remain the same as they are when at the Sanctuary.
“We shall see you tomorrow, then.”
You nod before smiling at Emily and Timothy. “It was nice talking to you.”
As you walk towards the office, you can already hear Venable questioning what it was that you talked about, trying to determine if the two gained an edge on making it to the Sanctuary. If only she knew that they’re practically guaranteed spots, you think with a quiet laugh.
Michael arrives at the office at the same time as you do, which is odd, considering he’s meant to be inside the office conducting his interviews. He takes your hand and kisses the back of it gently before opening the doors and leading you in.
“Where were you?” you ask.
He waves a hand and the doors close behind you. “Finishing up an interview.”
“Doing a little field work?”
“Something like that. Now, I’m starving, and I would very much like to enjoy dinner with some good company.”
At first, you felt a little bad eating your favorite foods while the rest of the inhabitants were forced to eat what was left of their rations. Why should you enjoy while they suffer? And then, you met the survivors, most of whom were filthy rich, and you felt okay with it.
Now, as you sit across from Michael enjoying an actual meal, you allow yourself to pretend for a little bit that your life is still as it was before the end. That this is a regular day after classes, and you’re eating a quick meal and enjoying the company of the man you love before you’re off to finish homework, go to an activity, or just hang out with friends. You miss the simplicity that you didn’t know you had, even still after eighteen months.
“How were your interviews?” you ask, trying to bask in that normalcy for as long as you can.
“Nothing to write home about, though I did learn that Ms. Venable is…shockingly self-conscious beneath her hard exterior.”
You scoff. “And that’s surprising to you?”
“No, I suppose not.”
“I talked with Emily and Timothy,” you mention.
“Please tell me they’re not as vapid as the rest of the inhabitants of this Outpost.”
“No, they’re…actually kinda cool.”
If you’re being honest with yourself, the reason that you immediately liked them so much is because they kind of remind you of you and Michael, before the apocalypse. They’re so in love with each other, so eager to just be near one another and enjoy their presence. It brings you back to New Orleans, walking through the market arm in arm as you searched for the perfect gift for Kate and he eagerly shared what he had learned when looking up grad schools for you. What you wouldn’t give to be showing him how to catch fireflies, or enjoying a sugary treat together.
Shouting sounds from downstairs, a loud argument starting to take place and distracting you from your thoughts. While you strain to try and hear what’s being yelled about, Michael simply smirks. “Took them long enough.”
Neither of you is surprised, because this is what always happens when Michael arrives at an Outpost. He, quite literally, brings Hell with him. It’s an interesting side effect of what happens when an Antichrist inhabits your space. Those walls that people put up, the rules that they live their lives by, crumble when the living embodiment of sin walks in. From there, it’s only a matter of time until everything unravels and they begin giving in to those seven deadly sins. As you listen to wrath begin to cloud minds, you can practically see Michael becoming more powerful thanks to it.
Later, wrath continues, along with a side of lust.
High-pitched shrieking, so different from the argumentative yelling of earlier, wakes you from the dozing you had taken to while trying to read Michael’s interview reports after dinner. You scramble to sit up in your chair, looking at Michael with wide eyes.
“What was that?” you ask.
He doesn’t even tear his eyes away from the computer to look at you, simply waving a hand nonchalantly. “Oh, Timothy and Emily have just been caught having sex. They’re about to be executed.”
“What?” You stand up in alarm, sure that this is actual cause for alarm. Michael, on the other hand, doesn’t even react to your reaction. “Michael!” you snap, desperately wanting him to show some kind of humanity.
Finally, he turns around in his chair and sighs as though you’re interrupting your work, which you know for a fact you’re not. “Yes?”
“We can’t let them die.”
“We won’t.”
You look at him in disbelief, because it sure looks like he’s going to let them die. “Then why aren’t you stopping this?”
Michael finally joins you in standing, taking your hands in his and squeezing reassuringly. “It’s sweet of you to worry about them, and I promise you that they will not die before reaching the Sanctuary. I’ll stop this when the time is right. First, however,” he smiles, “I’d like to enjoy their terror for a bit.”
“Every time I think you can’t possibly let me down more than you already have, you prove me wrong.” 
Michael’s face falls at the barb that hits unexpectedly deep, but you don’t have it in you to claim any sort of victory in this. Anger, that heady emotion that’s fueled you up until now, has completely left you at this latest example of Michael’s lack of humanity. All that remains now is disappointment, and it’s a disappointment that leaves you tired. Tired of these games, tired of the life that you’ve found yourself in, tired of being able to do nothing but watch.
Except, you can do something this time. In this Outpost, you have the same amount of power as Michael. With that in mind, you pull your hands free and make for the door.
“C’mon, where are you going?” Michael calls after you.
You don’t answer him, because he knows as well as you. If he won’t put a stop to this, then you will.
///
Tag List: @thatonehumanbeing05 @xavierplympton @hecohansen31 @codycrazy @love-on-the-murder-scene @michaellangdonswhore @nsainmoonchild @aftertheglitterfades @iamlivingforturner @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @angistopit @littleangel4996 @xo-angel-ox @ajokeformur-ray @iamavailablesstuff
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vtoriacore · 11 months
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✧ all eyes on you
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note: this gotta be my fave vil piece ive ever written god damn i think this is me at my peak with writing. ill never write so well again and that sucks 💀 this is like 2.4k words and i swear half of it is vils outfit description /j someone also tell me why this is becoming a vil cantered blog LMAO
warning: slightly suggestive? bit of kissing at the end but nothing explicit! some jealousy that could be interpreted as slightly yandere/toxic but not really. gn!reader
synopsis: i cannot be bothered coming up with something elaborate after writing this. -> you're in a club. you dance w a random person. vil sees you. lights camera action bestie, the stage is yours to share and exit to the very end.
reblogs much appreciated, mwah 💞💓
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He's already had too much Hennessy, he knew it. But looking at you through his translucent, violet sun glasses (perfectly matching his alluring eyes) he couldn't help but want to drink you in even more. It was no surprise you were here, in the same damn exclusive club as him, dancing with some nobody - no chemistry, no feelings attached.
He gripped the glass tighter, sharp lavender nails digging into his palm enough to leave marks. The sight was nothing short of infuriating, and he wanted to do nothing more but to rip you away from the leech vying for your attention when it should only be on him. Slamming the drink onto the table with a low growl, he stood up, all eyes immediately on him.
And why wouldn't they be? As always, he was the best dressed on the scene - the rich lilac, laced, mini slip-dress perfectly hugging his curves and off shoulder matching bolero cardigan accentuating his clavicles. And with every click of his six inch plum coloured t-strap d'orsay platforms (perfectly matching the beat of the current song) he grew more and more aware of the irony of the scene; virtually everyone was admiring his form, none of whom he would spare a single glance, but you.
Golden, diamond shaped earrings jangling as he walked (something he found rather irritating the more he focused on it), Vil tucked his purse closer to his side with a nonchalant flip of his platinum blonde locks. Normally, he'd feel very confident with his stature and mannerisms, but the way you still haven't graced him with even a single look, he felt it diminish. Oh, how he hated, down-right despised the effect you had on him! What right did you, so insignificant- ah no, that'd be too harsh considering he only ever silently sought out your approval and affection, but he'd digress. What right did you have making him feel this worthless, when he has never looked better? Never felt better?
The première of this new movie, Vil being the lead protagonist, was supposed to be the best fucking night of his life! He'd already strolled the red carpet as if he owned the event, knowing damn well it wasn't the truth because even then he was only seeking your eyes and finding them to be on anything but him. How could you disregard him so coldly, even now as he was approaching your form, more restless than ever?
"[Name], fancy seeing you here of all places," voice levelled, Vil addressed you directly; he wanted you to feel nervous under his gaze once you turned, it's what you deserve after causing him this much distress when it was supposed to be his big night. His official debut into the world of heroism.
"Ah, Schoenheit. Of course you'd run into me," he absolutely hated your wording, you were making him seem desparate - and although he was, you had no right even alluding to such thing!
"Disregarding that, it's quite rude not facing someone when they're speaking to you," he felt his nerves almost snap, seeing you turn around only to grace him with a teasing smirk, head tilted and eyes full of recognition.
"What, you miss me checking you out?" you licked your bottom lip, and it drove him almost as insane as your biting remark.
"I have the whole world focused on me, the last thing I'd need is you 'checking' me out," he rolled his eyes, shimmery gold eyeshadow accentuating the gesture.
"And here I thought we'd finally get some privacy so I could admire you," you laughed, and it brought him great satisfaction seeing the person behind you narrow their eyes in discontent. Without so much as a word, they slinked away with a small click of their tongue, something Vil would comment on in a later interview just out of spite. Was it petty? Maybe, but no one disrespects him and gets away with it - especially if they dare affiliate themselves with you.
"Is that what you were hoping for?" Vil raised a perfectly done eyebrow, crossing his arms in the process. He loved the way your eyes momentarily travelled to his chest before meeting his again.
"Sure, we can go with that if it soothes your ego," you looked to the left, observing the crowd watching the interaction with great interest before narrowing your eyes at the person who walked away from you. It irked him that you cared enough about that leech to even remember dancing with them, but your annoyance at them made it worth it - it was a sign you wouldn't seek them out at the very least!
"Interesting you'd say that, seeing your own just got shattered by . . . who was that again? One of the background characters who couldn't act to save their own life?" he knew his perfect, award winning smile would irritate you as always - it was both a great pleasure and a disdain seeing you vexxed by the accusation.
"You're the one who interrupted me, you know," you placed a hand on your hip, staring Vil down (well, up), and his eyes couldn't help but rake over the upper half of your body. He knew it was probably the alcohol doing most of the thinking, but coupled with the ultraviolet lighting , he just couldn't help but wonder how good you'd feel against him in that moment - away from prying eyes of course.
"I did you a favour dear, I assume you've seen them seizing up our director just then?" you merely shrugged at the assertion, instead focusing on your perfectly done nails.
"Yeah I figured they'd try him next, anything for the headlines speculating who they're fucking, no?" you smiled once you finished your unnecessary examination, looking at Vil once more. He couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at the accusation, so genuine it turned a few heads your direction once more. And oh did Vil absolutely relish the envious stares directed your way, knowing damn well none of them could take your place.
"Very bold statement, you do know it's going to make the news and affect my own reputation?" he leaned in, whispering directly into your ear and yet all you could focus on was the gold rimmed necklace with the initials of your first and last name. Once he pulled away, Vil simply smiled - the way you suddenly flushed up made him somewhat giddy. There was no way in hell you'd even direct your gaze on anything other than him for the rest of the night, and the countless rumours of this encounter coupled with the accessory were certainly going to keep you up at night.
"W-well . . . With what you're pulling right now, I could really say the same," he found your aggrevated stutter endearing, simply shrugging as if unaffected by anything you do when the contrary applied.
"You're acting as if it isn't going to be good publicity, with your role as the lead romantic interest, this could be good for both of us," Vil knew you couldn't disagree with this, watching as for once you tried coming up with something to dspute the statement, to no avail.
"Whatever, I've had too much to drink to deal with this," you sighed out, beginning to walk away from him. This of course, wouldn't do - you were once again making him seem as if he were the one that should be following after you.
"Right, goodnight [Name]," he nodded at your back, beginning to turn around only to stop short once he noticed you turn your head, eyes brimming with confusion; it was perfect, you didn't expect a single thing and fell straight for the bait!
" . . . Oh," you furrowed your eyebrows, so softly no one but him would catch on. He was so used to seeing and observing you that by now, Vil had perfectly memorised each and every one of your gestures and mannerisms. This, although something he prided himself on as he was quite perceptive, was simply maddening. His hyper-awareness of having you on his mind too much and for way too long didn't help this fact either.
"What is it?" he was going to get a straightforward answer from you for a change, and he realised you knew it from the little twitch of your lips. You certainly weren't an easy read, to the outsiders of course.
"Well, I just thought . . ." you were reluctant to voice your thoughts, coaxing him into softening his features as silent encouragement - something you picked up on after a few brief seconds.
"I just thought you might want to come somewhere more quiet, with me" you almost whispered, no doubt letting the alcohol affect some of your judgement. Under normal circumstances, Vil knew you'd probably make more sassy remarks but this? You weren't even attempting to make your tone seem insincere, face devoid of your usual show of defiance to anything he does. Such simple action, and yet it had his pulse quicken by too much of a large margin to be considered a normal reaction.
"On second thought, that seems like the perfect remedy for my oncoming headache," he let a faux smile overtake his face, walking closer and closer up to you, until your arms were brushing against each other. To anyone else, it'd simply seem as though the club was too full, but you both knew the intimacy that came with the action - Vil found it unnerving, just how warm it made his face feel when he's already kissed you countless times, both in practice and for the official filming of the scenes. But he did suppose this was something done out of one's volition, so who could realistically fault him for feeling this way?
"You know, absolutely no one uses the corner booths, even though they're all secluded from the main body of the building and perfect to hide away," you spoke up, rather shyly for someone of your disposition, but Vil found it absolutely delightful. Everything he'd done in an effort to get you to himself was finally paying off.
"Well, this is a club for a reason. Most people don't come here to sit around," he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours, the cold, no doubt expensive jewelled rings causing goosebumps to erupt all over your arm.
"Hah, surely they get tired at some point," you playfully rolled your eyes as the both of you walked through a dark archway, music slowly fading to a pleasant, muted buzz.
"Alcohol seems to have the opposite effect it's supposed to when you're clubbing, you'll come to learn soon enough," Vil flashed you a smirk, his cherry red lips catching your attention momentarily before you glanced away. He wondered if he should be happy at your sudden change of personality- was this the real you or just another elaborate show? Either way, he loved it.
"Are you implying something there, Schoenheit?" your teasing, accusatory remark made him click his tongue in a faux display of displeasure before he replied with his own, "Must you analyse every one of my statements?"
"It's not my fault they're usually loaded," your genuine giggle almost made him break the façade.
"How flattering you think me this complex," your smile dropped at that before you turned to fully face Vil, almost catching him off guard as he stopped to mirrror your action with intrigue painting his lilac irises.
"You are," barely two words and he could feel his breath hitch - and the worst part, he didn't even know why! Was it the lack of people around that made this moment feel so intimate? Or was it the courtesy of the dim room with its scarlet lighting making it seem like some romantic scene from a movie?
"You know . . . I still don't understand," you started to speak, voice low yet sincere. He felt himself drawing in a breath but before he could ask anything you spoke up yet again, "Am I overthinking it . . . ?"
"Overthinking what?" it was a miracle he could even speak clearly with how intently you were observing him. He knew he looked perfect, but with your gaze boring so deeply into him, he felt like you could see every flaw - he can't recall a time he felt so vulnerable.
"Ah . . . Nevermind. Ignore me, I wasn't thinking straight," your sudden shake of the head popped the bubble of tension you both felt. Vil felt his eyebrows furrow, a slight pout forming on his face.
"No. You will tell me," he asserted with a hardened resolve, coming ever closer to you as you backed up; his step forward, your step back. Rinse and repeat. Yet when your back had finally hit the ebony wall, you averted your gaze instead of saying anything.
"[Name], I'm serious, don't make me pry it out a different method," Vil leaned in closer to you, grabbing your chin gently to make you look right at him. He'd be damned if he let you slip away now, just when you were about to reveal everything.
"Are you serious, though?" your disappointed gaze had his heart momentarily shatter and before his emotions got the better of him, you once again murmured before he could even breathe, "about me . . .?"
His lips parted, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt speechless. Was there even a way for him to convey just how serious he was about you using words, using actions, using feelings alone? Vil could physically feel the pressure of the tension pushing down onto him, and his grip on you loosened.
"I-I see," you closed your eyes in defeat at the silence, and in that very moment he hated himself more than ever.
"I am. Believe me, I am so very serious, so very sure about you. Forgive my silence, I didn't expect to . . . " he trailed off, not thinking straight when you graced him with the sight of your brilliant eyes once more. The surprised flush of your cheeks made him feel slightly nervous; his feelings were out in the open, but would you reciprocate?
He didn't need to ponder the question too long, for in the next moment and without any hesitation, you were pulling him flush against you in an effort to connect your lips. He found himself tilting his head, slipping his sunglasses off with one hand before abandoning them and his purse both on the ground. It didn't matter they were both expensive and about to be ruined, not when the price of your feelings would be too disrespectful to compare to some lousy materialistic items he could replace later.
His hands found purchase on your waist, gently caressing the curvature in an effort to memorise every inch; the way you leaned into him more had him ignoring his burning lungs as they cried out for oxygen. With the way you felt against him, Vil only wanted to breathe you in; everything else be damned. He couldn't deny the disappointment when you had pulled away, but the sight of your burning face and lidded eyes made it worth breaking away anyway.
"I- . . . Damn, I'm sorry," your sudden nervous laugh caused a small smile to rise up on his own flushed face.
"You will be. No one gets away smudging my lipstick darling," you relaxed into Vil's arms at the remark, and he absolutely relished in the bliss of your content gaze and serene demeanor.
"And how do I pay back, hm?" you regained your confidence, but found it quickly simmer down once he spoke again, "Let me smudge yours even more."
You didn't hesitate to pull him back in for a second.
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purgemarchlockdown · 4 months
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Let's Keep It Simple: Power Dynamics in Milgram
(CWs: Ableism, Abuse, Bullying, Unhealthy Power Dynamics)
(This is partially me putting this post and this post together and partially a more cleanly written version of the ideas discussed in this reblog chain and partially additional thoughts after both.)
(Big thanks to: Tsuwmya, Tired-and-unslimed, Archivalofsins and Clownsalot for contributing to the original chain and making this thing much bigger than it would of been otherwise)
(Also big thanks to: Roseofcards90, 1moremilgramenjoyer, Tsuwmya, Tokyogruel and milgram-side-blog for reading this!)
When talking about heroism and the ideas associated with them, it's easy to focus on the altruistic and selfless aspects of it. The ideal of a brave hero selflessly protecting the innocent is an appealing one.
And there's nothing Inherently wrong with wanting to help people! It's good to help people instead of giving up on them. However, being a hero is an ideal, one that no one could live up to without destroying themselves in the process. And the ideal of heroism practiced by the characters in Milgram isn't fully altruistic.
When you are defining your entire sense of self through heroism, you are incentivized to find (or Create) people who are Weaker than you to Validate that sense of self. It's self-serving in a way, this isn't coming from a genuine want to help but a want to feel in power.
Let's consider Yuno's reaction to her voting in T2.
(Yuno T2 VD)
Yuno: Ah, yes yes. Well, this is going to be purely—purely—personal opinion but…I find those kinds of assumptions preachy and unpleasant! They’re worthless! Arbitrarily deciding that I’m pitiable. Arbitrarily making up a backstory for me. Creating a personally idealized version of me. Creating an acceptable version of me. They really exist, you know, those kinds of people. And in particular, those kinds of people…won’t do anything for me.
When you pity someone you implicitly assume they are weaker than You, and are unable to help themselves in any meaningful way. Not only that but Yuno is upset at the creation of a version of her that is "idealized." A version of her that is the easiest to sympathize and pity.
It's dehumanizing in a way. Yuno is being projected onto like an Object, instead of being treated as a person. Her agency is being removed for the sake of an easier narrative. Something more convenient to the people around her.
This is an idea Yuno is intimately familiar with, as she's been repeatedly selling different versions of herself to different people. She gives a version of herself those people Want from her. Yuno dislikes being pitied and infantilized like this. She chose to do this, whether if it was a bad decision or not is Different from if Yuno has agency. Which she does.
Milgram's saviors tend to fall into this trap. They don't believe the person on the other side has any agency, they don't trust in that person's ability to interact with the world, and they don't trust in that person's judgement. There is a Fundamental Lack of Respect here for the person being saved.
Which leads us to Shidou Kirasaki.
A Cozy Coffin
I have a lot of strong feelings about Shidou. There's a lot about him that remains mysterious and a lot of him I simply do not trust. However something I am sure about is Shidou's lack of care for the people he tries to save and his Unwillingness to change in the face of that.
Shidou Kirasaki's care is self-serving, it reflects in his medical career and it reflects in how he treats the people around him. He even says it himself, he's selfish.
(Aesculapius)
Shidou: Es-kun. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like I previously told you in the interrogation, I’ve killed for selfish reasons as well. So…
And while Shidou is admittedly unreliable as he Wants to be voted unforgiven. T2 Shidou wants to stay innocent, because he's important, more important than anyone else.
That’s right, there’s justice that needs saving See, indispensable, I’m indispensable
Shidou believes in his own importance, he believes he contributes something useful to the prison.
T1Q1: Why did you choose your current workplace? Because I thought it'd let me contribute to society.
And while he Is a doctor and Is Important, he tends to dismiss people who he thinks are weaker than him or who contribute Less in his eyes.
If it’s not needed, I’m not interested
“Throw down”, someone’s value Cannot be the same as another “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority
There are people who are Inferior and people who are Superior, and he has the ability to choose who is who. But when people who are Inferior do contribute something to him in some way, he diminishes and erases their agency they have because he believes himself to Know Better.
20/06/13
Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.
While we know for a fact that Amane's actions were influenced by her familial situation, that isn't what Amane is criticizing here. What she Is criticizing is what we did to Yuno in T1. He invented an idealized backstory for Amane without knowing Anything about her except that she's in Milgram with everyone else. And while that is a concern, the choices she made were her Own, independent of whether or not she had a tragic backstory.
But Shidou doesn't Acknowledge that, because acknowledging that there is a level of agency in her actions would complicate the narrative. It be much easier for him to help if it wasn't complicated.
Shidou was a father. He's projecting onto Amane here, and also does the same to Es. He misses his children, but he doesn't treat Amane and Es in a respectful manner. Something that damages his relationship with the both of them.
(Molech)
Shidou: I don’t know what circumstances you face while guarding this prison nor the reason as to why you’re doing it, but I’m sure that it must take a toll on you emotionally as well. So, please do your best. [pats head] Es: [is shook] I see. Oh, I see now. So, that’s how it is. So, that’s how it’s gonna be. [deep breaths] Shidou: Hm? Es? Es: Don’t you dare… pat my head like that! [kicks] Shidou: [grunts] Please hold on for a second.
Shidou knows Es very little, he's intruding on their personal space here all because their a child that he pities. He's projecting his parental feelings onto them when they Clearly don't want it because he gets something out of it.
However that isn't all, Shidou Kirasaki is a man trapped in the past, unable to move on in any way. He's trapped in this eternal cycle of grief and regret.
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He's constantly searching for a past he can't return to, a future that will remain static and unchangeable.
T1Q16: What is the definition of happiness? A: To be promised an unchanging tomorrow.
You might wonder how this relates to Saviors and for that I need to talk about:
The Girl Prince
It's hard not to talk about saviors in Milgram without mentioning Kotoko. Her story centers around the concept of heroism and what that really means and involves.
Her story covers a lot of what we discussed with Shidou. Kotoko believes herself to be more powerful than the people she considers weaklings, someone who knows better than them and can make the "right" decisions.
Kotoko: From the beginning I’ve never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!
Kotoko also puts a lot of importance on power and usefulness. As seen above with "useless weaklings," and she also especially values physical power. How else are you supposed to protect people after all?
T1Q4: When did you start learning martial arts? A: In elementary school, perhaps. Without enough power, you can't enforce justice and do the right thing, can you?
Kotoko believes in a worldview with a hierarchical power structure, there are people who are Strong Useful People who protect the Weaker Useless People. Which reflects back into the ableism she exhibits with both Haruka and Mikoto.
Kotoko Birthday (12/15/2023)
Kotoko: Fufufu, fufufufufu. You’re thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it’s abnormal.
Kotoko Birthday (12/15/2022)
Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it.
While this attitude towards disability and mental disorders and illnesses come from how she views the world around her using the lens of strength and power. But that isn't the only thing.
Kotoko isn't as revolutionary as she portrays herself to be. While she believes that the world Needs to change, she still believes in the structures and hierarchies of it. Notably when she interacts with Es she doesn't criticize Milgram's practices, but instead joins up with them and uses Violent Force to keep people in line.
(I would mention something from her T2 VD here if it wasn't spoilers but there's a scene there that I find interesting, again I won't mention it but I do have it in my mind.)
Kotoko is someone who wants to put the Good People in charge and keep the Bad People away. She wants to anoint a "chosen hero," someone who's "good" in her eyes, someone who she can trust and believe in fully to make the "right" decisions. It's a worldview In Favor of keeping things the same, it's just that someone else should be running it.
Kotoko's worldview is notably immature, it's black and white and lacks a lot of nuance. But she's unwilling to change.
Once again, it's Easier to be a savior if the world is simple. There's no nasty complication getting in the way of the fantasy of being a hero. If you keep the world stuck in a static position then it's easier for it to aid in the Fantasy of being a savior.
And again, this behavior doesn't stem from a genuine want to help people, but a need to validate one's own identity, and to feel like they have power over something.
(Task)
Kotoko: Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner! Even though I want to change this world, I alone only have this much power.
It's important that things don't change, if they do then you'd have to acknowledge that the world is more complicated than they Want it to be. It's important that you will Always be the hero and that there are Always going to people who need saving.
Or, on the flipside, no matter what you do. You will stay the pitied and loved victim forever.
Good Boy Girl
Haruka Sakurai is a character who is Undeniably trapped in the past.
If with one click, and I can reset everything
He wants to become a good boy again, he wants to be given the same attention he was given in the past, and he projects his mother onto Es and Later Muu.
He's idealized the past so much that he's become submerged in it.
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However while Haruka Wants to stay the victim, he wants to stay powerless and pitiful, he really isn't. A tension that often gets played with within his trial. Haruka is able to harm people and threatens Es in Trial 2. First with the idea that he can kill them and then with his life to Guilt Es into forgiving Muu.
I will keep on killing to be a good boy
Haruka Sakurai isn't Weak, but wants to be so he can be loved and adored by the people around him. Because if he isn't perceived as a threat but as someone that can be projected onto without any worry, then he could be loved.
I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling
However, we do actually have an example of a character who Is Weak, and who is pitied and loved because of that. Who uses her failures and faults to gain power only for it to stumble out of her grasp time and time again because of it.
Muu Kusunoki Fails. A lot. I see a common interpretation of her after It's Not My Fault is Muu as the master manipulator, but if she was she wouldn't be here. She would still be the queen, eating honey like nothing was wrong.
But she isn't anymore, she fell from grace even before she attacked Rei.
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Muu isn't Special, she isn't Powerful. But she is Pitiful, and she uses that pity to gain sympathy and affection from others. Muu Needs to stay the Victim if she wants to be cared for, so she always tries to position herself even when she hurts people.
(Crying B)
Muu: Hey… Prison guard, when you say “I”… Who are you talking about? Es: [breaking down]  Muu: Prison guard? Es: [stumbles]  Muu: Prison guard. What’s wrong? Prison guard! [shakes Es] Hey! Prison guard! Es: Shut up! Don’t touch me! Muu: [cries] You’re so cruel… I… Even though I was just worried about you… [cries again] I can’t take it anymore. I hate you, prison guard! 
If she stays the victim and keeps people's sympathy on her, then she doesn't have to worry at all about people turning on her or hurting her. It's a Service, she acts pitiful, and the people who help her can feel good about doing a Good Thing.
Even if they do eventually turn on her, she can just play victim and hope they stop. Maybe attack their self-esteem as well to really make sure they don't think harder about it.
(Queen B)
M: But if you were like, “I won’t forgive you, Muu! Revenge is bad!,” then wouldn’t that imply that it’s also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me? Since we’ve all done something bad anyway, doesn’t that mean that I’ve not done anything wrong in the end? E: …I think I’m kinda… starting to get your point… maybe… M: … Warden-san, are you maybe not that intelligent, after all…?
She's using Es' feelings of uncertainty and lack of knowledge to manipulate them into doing what she wants, but she isn't that Good at it. Muu could keep more ground if she continued to play more passive and timid. But instead she acts more aggressive and carefree.
The thing about Muu's strategy is that if She Stops Being Pitiful, it Stops Working. Muu can't let herself be Happy or Confident or otherwise because then she won't be pitiful enough to people. If she does, she gets knocked off her throne and sent back to square one.
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Muu is a deeply cyclical character. She cycles from pitiful to queenly and back over and over again. Not only that but when everything is structured through the lens of who's stronger and who's weaker, then you are encouraged to push other people down for your own gain.
Her environment exists as a place where healthy relationships are Discouraged. Because if a relationship doesn't give you anything then you have no use for it.
Muu: Isn’t it exactly because he’s my friend? Isn’t friendship about letting your friends do the things they want? … Are you about to tell me “that’s not what friendship is”? Then what is friendship? You’re together because it’s beneficial for everyone involved, aren’t you?
Conclusion
There's a lot of ways to read these dynamics I think. Tsumi brings up the Karpman's Triangle over here and archivalofsins is working on a post based around TIV. And I can't really put every single facet of a character into this dynamic neatly.
But that's also kinda the point. As stated above, the lack of change and simplicity is important to this dynamic. Its resistant to change and resistant to growth. And any sort of attempt to function outside of it is a threat to it. These mindsets and hierarchies are dangerous because there strict and unchanging, and the deeper your in, the harder it is to get out.
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The roles being played here turn people into one dimensional archetypes rather than People. Their motivations, circumstances and personality disappear to fit a convenient narrative of saviors and victims. 
It's also much easier to become powerless than to gain power. Muu tried and failed to gain power, while Fuuta was punished and left powerless. It's not a balanced dynamic at all, it lifts up a few people and leaves the rest to rot. But the people who are “stronger” now have to somehow fulfill a role with standards too high to reach. No one wins here, because it's so highly destructive and damaging, and I find the way Milgram interrogates it to be really intriguing.
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hanasnx · 3 months
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can you share some of thosr anakin-related-content-you-consumed on ur anakin fixation era cz im fixating on anakin aswell rn and i want to study him!! please, idk where to start 🙇🏻‍♀️
supercut of star wars I - III reddit link with instructions to receive them via google docs
i've seen both tpm and aotc supercuts but i have yet to finish the rots supercut because of it being so long. there are also deleted scenes on youtube that were not included in the supercuts linked here:
star wars episodes I and II extended edition - unused deleted scenes youtube video
revenge of the sith 4 hour supercut - unused deleted scenes youtube video
if you cannot get a hold of the supercuts for some reason, no sweat. the same channel listed in the above links has a bunch of videos on their channel of all "restored deleted scenes" that you can watch individually. of course, that is without the "siege of mandalore" that's included in the rots supercut. but that's just the bits you would see from season 7 of the clone wars spliced in, so you wouldn't be missing anything.
star wars: episode I - the phantom menace
if you cannot get a hold of the supercuts for whatever reason, start here. one of my favorite star wars movies. features young anakin, about nine years old, and how comes to live with the jedi, how he meets padme, and where he comes from.
star wars: episode II - attack of the clones
we follow older anakin, about nineteen years old, where he reunites with padme and they fall in love. the cracks of the dark side's influences are beginning to show.
star wars: clone wars
this is the mini-series released in 2003-2005 to depict anakin's journy throughout the beginning of the clone wars to prepare audiences for star wars: revenge of the sith coming out in 2005. it has since been de-canonized and replaced with the clone series that comes out in 2008. it is still worth the watch. anakin's voice actor is supremely talented and sounds a lot like hayden christensen. albiet he is dramatic, as it is a kid's show, i still very much enjoy his characterization. it's actually pretty funny too, it did get me to laugh a couple times. chapter 24-25 i believe is where anakin undergoes a sort of spiritual awakening, and the ending always makes me cry.
star wars: the clone wars movie
it was honestly boring to me, but i still watched it for much needed context on the show.
star wars: the clone wars
as i’ve said before, i don’t really care for tcw!anakin, but this was still a fun and enjoyable watch. it wasn’t completely worthless to me, i did learn some more things about anakin that applied to hayden’s rendition.
unreleased star wars: the clone wars arc - crystal crisis on utapau (full) youtube video
i didn’t finish it but from what i’ve seen so far it’s pretty funny.
anakin & obi-wan | let my people go youtube video edit
one of my favorite edits to one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies. i think about it a lot, especially during the “this was my home.” lyric. hammering in the betrayal of brothers that grew up alongside one another, and if you resonate with that song and movie it provides another layer of context. it’s deliciously painful. when anakin’s side of “you who i called brother,” cuts through and interrupts the melody, impatient to speak about his perspective using ramses’ narrative to do it, it’s acutely accurate to anakin’s character in my eyes.
clone wars: battle of the heroes - a star wars fan animation youtube video
i haven’t seen this yet but i’ve been waiting to enjoy it to its fullest. the creator worked very hard on it for a long time, so it’s worth the link.
star wars episode III: revenge of the sith novel by matthew stover
i have not read this, but i’ve seen hundreds of excerpts over the course of this hyperfixation on tumblr. it’s widely accepted even though it’s decanonized, and offers insight into anakin’s head that you can’t access with just watching the movie. i thoroughly enjoy and reblog the excerpts i come across, but since i’m not a reader i haven’t picked it up to complete it myself.
star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith
the third installment in the prequel series, and where shit goes down. twenty-three year old anakin grapples with his desires overcoming his sense of obligations, warping his own ideals to fit into selfish purposes. you see how he betrays the republic, his wife, his brother, and himself, all for power.
star wars episode III revenge of the sith (xbox) no commentary walkthrough full game [1080p60fps] youtube video
i haven’t gotten to watch this yet but i’d like to soon, i’ve seen bits and pieces and i believe there are alternate endings that prove interesting. if you like gameplay movies i think you should give it a shot, but if not, go ahead and skip this one.
star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith - making the game youtube video
it’s short and sweet. about hayden’s view of the character anakin and how he acts in combat.
star wars: tales of the jedi
s1e5 where we receive insight as to how anakin trains his padawan.
vader: complete canon comic series 1-25 in chronological order youtube video
i loved this so much. so many good moments that i ate the fuck up. we follow vader in his first year of becoming the sith lord, grappling with identity, past, and recognition. we also get insight into the very sensitive time of jedi eradication, i learned a lot. my favorite parts are when vader has to fight without a saber against clones, make his own red saber by retrieving one from a surviving jedi, and the arc that includes jocasta nu.
star wars the force unleashed- full game walkthrough gameplay no commentary youtube video
star wars the force unleashed 2 - full game walkthrough gameplay no commentary youtube video
both of these i've been meaning to watch, but i haven't been in the mood. i figured i'd link them in case you were interested in more gameplay movies.
star wars rebels
i didn't finish this, but i did watch a lot of the vader content and the scarce anakin content. i'll watch anything that mentions him tbh.
star wars jedi: fallen order - full game - no commentary youtube video
i played this game and loved it. the ending is the money shot tbh.
star wars: obi-wan kenobi
this was probably the first sw show i watched after i got back into darth vader in august 2022. reawakened a lot for me, i really enjoyed vader's part in this story. reva is also one of my favorites, and i thought her being a mirror image to anakin in this situation was clever, i thought her backstory was unique and refreshing. but what really shines for me is vader's contribution as both an extension of the emperor and a vessel for his own selfish desires. there are parts where i can see he's more machine than man. there are also some anakin parts as well! which i didn't enjoy as much, funnily enough.
rogue one: a star wars story
i haven't seen this one in years, but i do remember darth vader's appearances being both funny and badass.
star wars: episode IV - a new hope
star wars: episode V - the empire strikes back
it took me a long time to come around on this one. now it's one of my favorites. especially because we start to get the first glimpses within the original trilogy of vader's humanity, and his ability to demonstrate faint loyalty to his blood.
star wars: episode VI - return of the jedi
fave sw movie tbh since childhood. you can't get better than the ending. vader's sacrifice is everything to me.
lego star wars: the skywalker saga
i had played this game back in may 2022 when i visited my sister. she and i used to play lego games together when we were kids, and one of my first video games ever was lego star wars: the video game from 2005 which she introduced me to. it holds a special place in my heart, and i really liked playing skywalker saga even though at this point i hadn't cared about star wars in years. when i got back home i couldn't stop thinking about the saga game so i bought it myself, and then played it so obsessively i didn't do anything else. it got me back in the mood for darth vader so i watched obi-wan kenobi, and one thing leads to another now here i am with a smut blog about anakin skywalker's entire life and his every iteration. i loved the game, i think you should play it even though it's just lego versions of everything, it's still really fun.
star wars: ahsoka
you see him in this and the cinematography is breathtaking at times, but i didn't care for it. i only cared about the glimpses of anakin/vader's appearances even if they didn't contribute anything to the story for me.
anakin skywalker vs palpatine full fight scene (hd) - star wars episode IX [alternative ending] youtube video
this is a fan edit! i think about it a lot even though i haven't seen the sequels.
the life of anakin skywalker: darth vader (star wars) youtube video
i haven't finished this, but from what i've seen it's taught me things even i didn't know. i really appreciated the facts that aren't even on wookiepedia.
any books on it i've only seen the excerpts here on tumblr, i haven't read any because i'm not a big reader but i've seen some great posts that i reblog. so don't sleep on the books/comics
great ask
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lily-orchard · 17 days
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What do you think about the "No Like, Only Reblog" discourse?
I actually stopped caring about it once Tumblr let me remove Likes from my notifications tray, so now I can read my notifications without having to scroll a mile down past the one person who just followed me and is determined to click "Like" on all 50,000 posts.
I completely understand why people think Likes don't mean anything, because I have personally watched someone scroll through Tumblr liking posts on their feed without even reading them. The motion of "Swipe-Like" is programmed into people.
Because reblogging takes two button presses, it's done more deliberately and therefore it's done less often. So it's considered more "valuable" because it's scarcer. And we're all programmed to see "scarcity" as "value." Capitalism stops working if you stop viewing value on how common something is alone.
Me personally, I value interaction alone. I have everything that isn't a reply, reblog with comment, or reblog with tags completely hidden from my notifications tray because anything that isn't contributing to or reacting to something is less than worthless to me.
The thing is, Tumblr isn't like other websites. There's no recommendation algorithm (there is a For You tab but who gives a shit) so what's on your dashboard is based on who you follow. So without reblogging things, there's no flow. Half the fun of Tumblr is "Oh that post is back!"
People use the Like feature like Instagram, but it doesn't do anything. On other websites, Liking something boosts you in the algorithm. It doesn't do that here. Tumblr is the democratization of Social Media. If you aren't sharing things, they don't move. At all. So it's understandable why people don't like it when people come on Tumblr and don't use it correctly.
There was a time not too long ago where it was common to see reblogs overtake likes. And over the last few years that changed to Likespamming. And a lot of Tumblr's userbase is young millenials/older gen Z who have a sneering disregard for anything that looks like Instagram or TikTok. The userbase still calls this place a "Website" and not "App."
None of this is me trying to justify it, just explain it. Like I said, I can filter my notifications now so I have officially stopped giving a shit. But that's how the website works.
I think every social media site should work differently from each other and have their own niches. And Tumblr's niche was that it more emphasized socializing than any other social media platform and I think it should stay that way. Remember this site was a blogging site before it was lumped into "social media."
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pawberri · 4 months
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tysm for your posts regarding child safety it's very upsetting how much victims are blamed and how often dangerous behaviour isn't seen as genuine concern just because a bunch of adults decide they don't want to care and that children being on the internet is Bad and Annoying because theyre put in danger rather than focusing on the issues of the internet as it currently exists/how communities form around it and creating real support spaces for victims that arent Just fetishizing of the very trauma theyre struggling with
it gets hard to talk about and feel understood because the "stop caring im not responsible for kids" type of people are so often vocal and praised for that lack of real care your commitment to talking about such and showing Proving genuine focus on how to help those who have been abused is uplifting and very helpful people like you give me hope i will be listened to and cared for, that those who do care are plentiful and just not as loud
ty a hundred, and apologies if this is a lot - feel no pressure to 'answer' such an ask, just intending to express the appreciation
I've been seeing it repeated so much and it's so stressful and frustrating. People generally have given up giving general advice on how not to be raped or abused as an adult because most leftists understand that these problems are so complex there isn't an easy guide to avoiding it. We talk about victim blaming and how much of it is random chance, but somehow people can't apply that same logic to children. They give advice that is basically as useful as "don't wear revealing clothes" and act like it's at all useful. It amazes me how people in the replies of the one post I reblogged are acting like NOT BEING GROOMED somehow makes them experts on grooming. They have no understanding that luck and circumstance play a huge fucking role. If you have never experienced this, never researched it, never cared about it beyond generally disliking pedophiles as a concept, I beg you to fuck off and shut up about how to avoid grooming.
Like look at these comments and imagine someone with the same politics as these people saying it about rape or abusive relationships.
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Saying "don't be a target" as if children are the masters of their own fate. Same with saying "my generation knew better!" or "lol just block people" or any other callous, self-assured bullshit. It's like telling someone who got lured into abuse by someone they trusted that they should have just carried pepper spray. It's worthless.
Let me say
1. If you were groomed it was not your fault, even if you put your age in your bio
2. If you were not groomed and did not have your age in your bio, you have not discovered the secret to not getting groomed
3. Many adults can tell when a 32 year old clearly knows absolutely nothing about the adult world, and children are just at an obvious intellectual and expirential disadvantage in keeping up this rouse
4. Pedophilia is not as clear-cut as people think, and many people who would willingly abuse trusting, vulnerable adults would happily move to abusing teenagers. People seeking power will manipulate you if they can, and children are easier to manipulate. Someone might start dating an extremely childlike adult and shrug off the realization they are underage because they don't give a fuck who they're getting their power fix from even if they didn't figure out they were speaking to a child.
5. Adults dating teenagers was and is extremely normalized in many parts of the world (and many subcultures) and no amount of internet privacy was ever going to save us from a broad societal message that pedophilia is just a may december romance or whatever
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pillarsalt · 2 months
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hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)
I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.
I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)
but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,
And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.
And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!
But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.
I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.
I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.
I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:
"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."
Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.
I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:
Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine
Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez
There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.
Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.
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yourneedylilpup · 30 days
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you reblogged something about sending you threats so let me tell you what I had planned and ready a few years ago, when I was very low, after I'd just come out as a woman and lost my then girlfriend over it.
I live next to an abandoned house. That house has a basement with a lock on the door. It's dark, cold, wet, and amazingly, has one working power outlet.
I can find someone a few hours away, maybe you, and knock them out. It only really needs to be for a second, I have a lot of toys i can use to streamline things. In this situation, a leather blindfold, a ring gag, and a dildo down your throat would keep you nice and quiet, while rope is all i need to keep you immobile. I can truss you up and stuff you into a duffel bag, shoot you up with something fun to keep you wet and out of it, and enjoy my drive home. I can take you down to that basement where you'll find a very simple lamp and a dog cot, and I can get to work training up my new toy.
Every day, I'll bring you some rice, beans, and milk, mixed together in a dog bowl, just enough to keep you alive. You'll be blindfolded and still confused, so to get it through your stupid slut skull I'll just rape your throat the first few times to make it clear: cum in your mouth means you get to eat. Pretty soon, you'll be expected to do this yourself, but because I'm so gracious I'll help you for awhile.
Once you're fed, I'll play with my new toy. The blindfold and gag may as well be permanent, you're not getting those off for a good long while. I'll press you facedown, and take your ass first. If you didn't do a good enough job slobbering on my girlcock, it'll hurt, but that'll just teach you to do better next time. I'll pump your ass for hours, until you're gushing my cum, then ram it right back down your throat and let you clean me off.
Once I'm satisfied, I'll hit you with another drug cocktail, to keep you too horny and dazed to think about anything but my cock. Then, I'll tie a wand between your legs, right on your filthy little clit, and tell you that if you cum without permission I'll make you regret it. You might not hear it, it may not even make it through your haze, but I hold a high standard, and ignorance is no excuse. You'll spend the night writhing on the toy, cumming your worthless little slut brains out, while the camera I leave in your cell records the night.
The next morning I'll bring you breakfast again, but before you can eat you need to swallow my cum. I'll take a fistful of your hair and fuck your face, watching the tape and counting the orgasms. It'll probably be too many to even count. I'll finish with your face, and tell you how disappointed I am in my new toy. Your punishment for breaking the rules will be a brand on your left asscheek, red hot steel marking you as property.
Then, the facefucking, eating, getting ruined in every hole. spending every night in a drugged out, overstimulated haze. Any semblance of sanity you have will erode until you're just doing as you're told, desperate for any kind of positive interaction. Only then will you be praised, only then will I call you my good piece of meat, tell you how perfect you are when you break for me, and you'll love it. That's how I'd train up my new living toy.
omg this sound like the perfect life for a cute toy like me😍
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